#like they thought it was the best choice because they were supporting themselves financially that way but for scaramouche it sucked because

[ven7s]

love stored in decorations

— scaramouche x gn!reader ; wc. .5k; genre fluff, hurt-comfortish?, modern!au, non-canon information + headcanons

notes. implication/mention of neglectful parents (ei & yae) and lonely childhood. business women yae and ei because i think thats very sexy of them !!! also also idk i kinda hate this but like the CONCEPT of it, just dont like the way i executed it

"hmm... move it to the left a bit more."

scaramouche lets out a huff but does as you say, moving the fake icicles to where you want it before you shout, "wait, sorry, just a little to the right."

he scowls to himself before looking back at you with a grumpy frown that elicits an apologetic smile out of you. but nevertheless, he moves the icicles once again, much to his annoyance.

he climbs down the ladder and you hurry to hold it, wrapping your arm around his waist once he's finally on the ground, and he does the same back.

you marvel at your house, but not long after you hear scaramouche grumbling, complaining about how cold it is and how he doesn't get why you two have to do this every year.

"because it's nice to see our house decorated. doesn't it make you feel cozy and more… holidayish? besides the kids around the neighborhood like it!"

he scoffs, but you know he acknowledges your words when he starts to grab the string lights out of the box of decorations. you smile and go to hold the ladder again as scaramouche climbs up to further adorn the house.

he gets your reasoning.

he looks back at his childhood, often recalling the memories of him walking back home from school only to see the houses that lined his street filled to the brim with decorations ranging from lights on bushes to huge inflatables and candy canes hanging from rooves.

his favorite was always yoimiya’s, whose parents always went all out, every year.

then he remembers his house. big, but empty, with no air of that fond and nostalgic feeling that holidays so often filled people with.

he knows that his moms are back in japan, attending to their work, ei and yae being far too busy with their businesses to worry about decorating the house for a holiday that only lasts for a month.

he remembers holidays often just being him and his nanny with a letter sent to him from his moms. a few short sentences of "happy holidays! sorry we couldn't make it this year again.. next year for sure! we miss you!"

so, when you first “forced” him to decorate your shared home with you he obliged, albeit a bit annoyed. now, he still feels annoyed, hating the coldness of winter, but he reminds himself that the end result will be worth it, hoping that other kids would feel the joy and warmth he felt as a kid, like he felt when he looked at yoimiya’s.

(and of course, he would never admit it, but he actually finds himself having fun. reliving his childhood dream of decorating the house during the season that filled him with so much dread as a kid with a loved one.)

its all the reason why he’s outside in the frosty weather that indicates the start of december in his rudolph pajamas (matching with your santa pajamas), hanging up ornaments and lights.

once he comes down again, you smile, “it looks great. thanks for the help,” kissing scaramouche on the cheek before leaning your head on his shoulder.

“yeah,” he hums, “it looks nice.”

a/n: HAPPY HOLIDAYS !!!! hope everyone stays safe !!

#ok but imagine how easy it would be to decorate for holidays in canon genshin with scaramouche LIKE? he could literally just float up LMFAOO #anyways #scaramouche is def healing his inner child #even though it may seem a bit dramatic hes healing himself by decorating the house fs #i hc that in modern au genshin he was neglected emotionally because of how often yae and ei would be busy and bc they stayed back in japan #and i think it was unintentional on their part but even if it was unintentional if still affected scara A LOT #like they thought it was the best choice because they were supporting themselves financially that way but for scaramouche it sucked because #all he ever really wanted was to have a connection with ei and yae even if it was one dinner together as a family #so hes like reliving that joy as an adult with you yk #its small but meaningful idk its cute to me shut up #(also headcanon that scara and yoi would be absolute bffs) #genshin #genshin impact #genshin x reader #genshin impact x reader #genshin scenarios #genshin impact scenarios #genshin imagines #genshin impact imagines #genshin fluff #genshin impact fluff #genshin drabbles #genshin impact drabbles #scaramouche x reader #scaramouche x y/n #scaramouche x you #kunikuzushi x reader #scaramouche fluff #scaramouche angst #+🪼

[fromunder-thecorktree]

Posting this here first, a place that has been safe for me for the past ten years because I feel defeated and enraged and am building up the courage to share it where support will not be guaranteed.

Here goes. I had an abortion. I share this now publicly because I feel like it needs to be said. Many of my close friends already knew but my family had no idea. Stating this publicly means I will probably lose the respect and love of family members. I choose to share my store anyways despite fear because it is so often unspoken. It is your mother, your sister, your cousin, your friend and your loved ones that this is affecting. You may not even know the heartbreak people you claim to care about are feeling right now as they are faced to relive a choice they were able to make for themselves and what their life could have looked like if that choice was taken from them. At 20 years old I had just moved to a new city was attempting to restart my higher education and didn’t have a job. I found out I was pregnant just weeks after moving. Yes, I was irresponsible at 20 years old. I was raised with a “keep your pants on attitude” with a very Catholic family. I had previously been denied access to birth control the year before by my mother, whom, at the time due to lack of education, I thought I had to listen to due to being under her insurance. I was in no state mentally, physically, or financially to raise a child. I was lucky to have a support system and have access to the medical care that I needed at the time. I was lucky enough to be able to choose what my future would like and choose when I was ready to have a child and raise them the way they deserve to be raised. Leaving this choice up to each state will put thousands of peoples lives at risk. Our already overwhelmed prison system will be even more flooded by innocent women, lgbtq+, doctors, nurses, and supporters who will not stop fighting for every persons right to bodily autonomy. I have watched many friends and acquaintances choose to be young parents and I am so proud of what amazing parents they are but that would not have been me and I have not regretted my choice for a single second. If you’ve gone through this, if you’ve felt like this, if you are still unable to share your story please know that you are not alone, you are loved and you are supported. If you have read this far without unfriending me thank you. If you have read this far and plan to unfriend me then please see yourself out. Now I ask you to take action. First and most importantly, planned parenthood’s across the nation will soon be overwhelmed by women and the lgbtq+ community who thought they had more time and now need immediate health care or access to birth control before their states make it inaccessible or even unlawful. If you’re able to please donate. Secondly, vote! Vote at the lowest levels of government, vote at every level of government. Read up on and be aware of the stances your local representatives take and vote for those that best align with your interests. State representation has never been more important for the health and well-being of your loved ones. And lastly thank you, thank you to everyone who is taking a stand, who is willing to share their anguish and lose friends and family over it. Thank you for showing your support to those you may not even know need it. I have been amazed and pleasantly surprised as equally as I have been shocked by some peoples stances. No matter what you believe is right it is not your choice to make for another person and now we need to fight to protect that right.

[cazort]

Hey I want to share a thing about debt because a lot of people with less financial know-how don't necessarily realize how debt works.

When it comes to optimizing your own financial situation, debt is not necessarily a bad thing, and living debt-free is not necessarily the best financial choice.

The problem is high-interest rate debt, and/or debt that is more that you can handle.

Everyone in modern society who is supporting themselves has living expenses, housing being a big one. You usually either rent your home, or own it. If you own, you probably took out debt to buy. The interest rate on mortgage debt tends to be lower than other debt because the bank can take back your house if you stop paying on the debt. This possibility makes it less risky to the bank, so they lend at a lower rate.

Because the rate on mortgages is so low, you can often make more income by investing your money, than you can save by paying off mortgage debt.

For example if you got a mortgage several years back, your rate might be as low as 4% or less. Currently you can earn nearly 5% on savings accounts or money market mutual funds, and even more on CD's. These are all essentially risk-free investments.

If you invest in riskier investments like the stock market, you can earn more. Like the S&P 500 index funds tend to return around 10% on average, although it's unpredictable and they may lose money some years.

So even if you have a higher interest rate, like 6-7% (more typical for mortgages these days) you still get a higher return putting your money in the stock market relative to paying off your mortgage.

The same is true if you have subsidized student loans with a low rate. Like if your rate is 3-4%? You can make more money in a savings account these days. Even with a higher rate, you can make more money in the stock market.

These observations are relevant to issues like student loan cancellation.

People act like student loan debt cancellation is a progressive policy that primarily helps the poor, but this is not necessarily true. Often the poorest people didn't go to college to begin with. If they have debt, it is likely consumer debt like credit cards, retail store debt like buying items on layaway, or payday loans or tax refund advances. These debts are very high interest rate and can cost people a lot even in the short term.

Many people with student loan debt actually benefit from the debt because they pay it off as slow as possible and instead save and invest their money. They may put it in a Roth IRA, a 401(k) where an employer matches fund, or just a brokerage account where they can buy stocks for their own immediate income. And of course, people with college degrees often earn more money than those without.

Student loan forgiveness thus ends up giving a bunch of free money to people who may have been leveraging their debt to become richer.

Proposals for debt forgiveness that I've seen put forth often do not have adequate measures to ensure that they aren't giving out a lot of money to people who are basically rich.

They also do nothing to help the poorest among us, who have other types of debt.

And furthermore they do nothing to prevent new ppl from taking on more student loan debt again.

I think a better way to help people is finance reform laws that crack down on predatory lending like payday loans, tax refund loans, credit card debt, and any high-interest debt. States like North Carolina that have passed aggressive anti-predatory lending laws have seen good results from them. Interestingly, even though banks initially opposed those reforms, it ended up not hurting banks, because it was mainly small scale predatory lenders and not banks who were exploiting the poor. So this sort of reform is a win-win, good for the poor, good for big business too. Basically the only losers are the individual predatory loan sharks and a few aggressive, shady banks.

So yeah. Those are my thoughts for the evening in case anyone cares about this stuff.

#student loans #predatory lending #poverty #economic justice #debt

[christ2525]

Zodiac Sign For Aug 16

August 16 Zodiac Sign: Leo For Individuals brought into the world on August 16 the Zodiac sign is Leo.

Leos have an attractive character. They are liberal, faithful, excited, hopeful and energetic about their work.. Thus, as a pessimistic note of their character, they are individuals who will generally be fairly presumptuous, difficult and consideration chasing.

The Leo zodiac sign is generally connected with Sunday as its day of the week and Orange, Red and Gold as its tone. Leo is related with planet Sun and its connected component is 'Fire'.

Zodiac Sign For Aug 16 Birthday: Character On this day there are individuals who are normally blessed with fantastic essentialness, energy, life span, great wellbeing. They have fortitude, freedom, their own viewpoint, while not ignoring the counsel of others.

They are capable not exclusively to tune in, yet additionally to hear, quite often pursuing the ideal choices. These individuals are fearless, diligent, inspired and genuine. They have created instinct, which assists them with keeping away from many slip-ups from now on.

These individuals are cherished and treated with extraordinary regard. They have an adequate number of companions and high supporters, because of whom their life becomes intriguing, overflowing with satisfaction, achievement and best of luck.

They generally encompass their family with consideration, love and care, building superb and warm relations with them. In such families there is consistently a total climate of common comprehension. In the monetary area, they can make specific levels and progress. They make extraordinary financial specialists, researchers and legislators.

Individuals brought into the world on 16 August can be called genuinely shapely individuals who know how to accomplish what they need without committing essentially any careless demonstrations. Nearly all that they do is recognized by a feeling of extent, so others will get in touch with them. Individuals brought into the world on this day have an igniting interest in different types of tangible sign.

On account of the directing features of their character, it is frequently hard for them to acknowledge others' perspectives. In struggle circumstances, they attempt to accomplish triumph no matter what, regardless of whether for this they need to obliterate their foe or foe.

These individuals profoundly want to think their power inside their impact. In those minutes when those brought into the world on August 16 start to show themselves, they disregard every one of the current limits of conventionality. They are normal in their habits of conduct, never concealing their actual feelings.

Quietness is unendurable for them, so they need their own crowd. Notwithstanding the way that these qualities are viewed as overly sensitive, in all actuality they are very tough, because of which they can without much of a stretch endure any sort of assault - both physical and close to home.

No sweat, they can overpower every one of the individuals who treat them with antagonism. Accordingly, now and again incidentally, retribution turns into the primary driver of a large number of their activities.

On the off chance that conceived 16 August they like to follow the negative way, they risk falling the survivor of their own horrendous power. Individuals who were brought into the world on this day are not described by steadiness - they either light up with a thought or cool down.

Tragically, the steady quest for new sensations can carry the character to limits or even mutilate it. The most serious risk for those brought into the world right now is the deficiency of their capacity to appreciate basic delights or things that in some measure marginally wander from shows. Consequently, they may steadily lose all contact with their precious ones.

Regardless of the way that their way of behaving is described by standoffish propensities, they can undoubtedly find the main specialty in which their abilities will be valuable to society or to the circle where they rotate.

Brought into the world on this day have the capacity and interest in authority, yet are probably not going to be torn to the proper posts, as they don't feel the craving to be liable for various gatherings. Their need isn't control and predominance by any means, but instead affectation and enticement.

August 16 Birthday : Wellbeing Individuals conceived 16 august are especially inclined to different types of fanatical way of behaving. Hence, they need to be careful with uncontrolled maltreatment of sexual relations, as well as drinking and eating.

Furthermore, they need to decrease the quest for thrills, since their extremely delicate mental soundness chances being obliterated by high energy and inordinate sexiness. Those brought into the world on this day are difficult to stick to a deliberate way of life, which, as they would like to think, is normal and dreary.

They are encouraged to survey their current propensities cautiously. Because of normal activity and regular sustenance, it is feasible to dispose of numerous issues.

Guidance for Individuals Brought into the world on August 16 Figure out how to change your pressure to involve it as energy in regular errands. Attempt to be more stooping to your foes and attempt to focus intensely on the advancement of your internal otherworldly life.

[lisacatara-actress]

ALMOST LISA : Pt 5, “Almost Role Model?”

*I retain all rights to my photography and story, story details, biographical information, fashion designs, art work, and anything and everything I have posted which is my own creation*)

"I believe if you cannot find a Role Model, you must become one.”

The 2020 Covid Pandemic completely shut down Hollywood and much of the world, leaving many without work and income for over a year. A year without a paycheck in my industry meant no residuals (aka “royalties”) moving forward. And due to alleged (*ahem*) mismanagement of funds by our union (Sag-Aftra) and poor negotiations on our contracts, it was already more challenging then ever for members to secure employment and earn income in Entertainment. The Industry shutdown would prove devastating for many career professionals, already barely hanging on. I was not ready for another major financial challenge.

Nothing but time on our hands and nowhere to go, many preoccupied themselves with social media as a creative outlet.  For me, not much changed. I was already isolated and hyper-creative. I got busy sewing, singing, dancing, drawing, sharing anything and anything I made via social media. I made dresses and jackets, crooned show tunes (best I could), wrote scripts, redesigned my home, revamped business materials, shot photos (of myself, to be safe) and constantly worked out. Anything to evade the nonstop barrage of disinformation and scare tactics the news spun, daily.

The first few months were artistically productive (if not redundant). Most everything shut down. There were no doctors visits (thankfully, no emergencies either for me during this time), grocery shopping was planned and strategized, I saw no friends or colleagues except for what they posted online. I was unemployed and paying Los Angeles rent.

The few jobs I managed to book in 2020 were chaos as each production had its own safety protocols which changed daily as new information came in regarding transmission of the virus. One of my gigs required two extensive fittings via Zoom. A PA had to drop off the entirety of their wardrobe selects (three filled garment bags and two shopping bags) on my doorstep for me to try on- online- for the producers and director, then collect all of it afterward and put it all under a UV light. Another job required technology which was set-up outside my door and entrusted to me for the duration of the shoot in my own apartment, then collected and sanitized afterward. Days on actual sets were like vacations. Endless covid-testing left my nose raw, but I was thrilled for any opportunity to work and keep my health benefits.

Out of the blue, I received an email from a fellow Heights High School alumni asking if I would consider his support for the Cleveland Heights Alumni Association ‘s 2020 honoree ceremony. This was a surprise. I was fairly unrelatable and too busy to become popular in High School. I'd also been feeling terribly invisible for quite some time. That one or any of my colleagues remembered and was inspired by my life's successes enough to nominate me was touching. I've always been aware that my career choice is exciting and special. I just thought no one cared about the 96% of us who aren't famous and wealthy. As it turned out, I was voted in by my peers and the upcoming graduating student body. That got my attention.

Because I never had a role model or mentor growing up, because I figured everything out on my own, because we were not wealthy and I had to work and earn everything, because I passed on any support/ help which required/ forced me to compromise my integrity ... I value opportunity to uplift and inspire youth to achieve greatness in whatever life and career goals they hold. So in the middle of a pandemic (at the most personally and professionally challenging and uncertain time of my life) I had to suck it up and represent the values and tenacity I’d sworn to, which ultimately helped me achieve my Dreams. Alone, in my apartment, in a Zoom- broadcast ceremony, with my parents watching in Cleveland, I became a  2020 CH-UH Distinguished Alumni Hall of Famer. One of a long and impressive list of successful grads from my incredible, public Alma Matter.

____

Flashback: So many opportunities for me growing up were missed due to financial hardship and shortcomings. My family was far from wealthy. Lack and necessity compelled me to get a job at 14-15 and start earning for myself. I knew if I didn't, I’d have nothing. And I took pride in never asking my parents for help (they were handling enough). Problem was, I was more talented than I was privileged. Other kids took lessons, attended festivals, enrolled in special classes, got in the rooms where opportunities were, etc. I had to find- or create- my own.

One opportunity did find me after Eastman. I was in rehearsal in a theater in Manhattan, spending down-time sketching in my design book. I’d always loved fashion and had invented a style of designing on a template which allowed me to continuously pen ideas on a form. What started as doodles very quickly became 100′s, then 1000′s of original fashion designs (I had a lot of down time). At some point, my work caught the attention of the administrator of the Fashion Institute of Technology (FIT) who admitted me to the school, purely on my illustrations and submission materials. I went to admissions week, excited to venture into yet another creative world I enjoyed, but because I already acquired a degree from another entity, I was denied housing and was already up to my eyeballs in student loans. So I could not attend. Instead, I made event dresses (using very limited sewing skills) for myself and friends, and some of my designs became intricate pen & ink illustrations to be collected by private art and fashion enthusiasts (and still are today). But I always think about the time I “almost” became a fashion designer.

____

Financial shortcoming remained a thorn in my side. No matter how hard I hustled or how many jobs I booked, being an actor in Hollywood is an expensive undertaking. Especially when you go it all alone, with no mentor or guidance. Especially when unprecedented circumstances start digging into your savings. It’d taken over 20 years to amass a couple of years savings, and one pandemic to all but take it away.

A couple of months after The Alumni ceremony, I made the incredibly difficult decision to move to Atlanta, Georgia. By now, the Entertainment industry had partially migrated out of Hollywood and established production in many other states. Georgia had seen major motion pictures for years by now. It was dubbed “Hollywood South” (or “Y’allywood” for the locals).

My decision wasn't purely an industry one, though there was no way I was going to abandon a career I’d built from the ground up, one I was made for.  I’d also exhausted both UCLA and Cedar Sinai’s medical staff to the point I could not find any “care” (save for a terrific hematologist and rheumatologist who tirelessly helped me monitor my condition and make referrals where they could). There was no way of knowing what the pandemic would bring moving forward or how I would continue (after 18 years) to thrive. I figured I’d save a little money (I was paying $1700/month for a one-bedroom in LA, gas was above $5.50/G at the time, both were rising) by moving to a more affordable location and reestablishing myself in a new community. The goal was to get back to work, keep my health benefits, maybe see my parents more, and get better. Despite not having a large Tribe or many close relationships, there was a voice in the back of my mind, telling me I was abandoning Hollywood and a lifestyle I loved. But get busy doing or get  busy- literally- dying, so I lightened my load and migrated back East.

      (to be continued...)

(PS If you like what you're reading, I welcome contributions to the efforts via Venmo @LTarantinoDesigns)

#hollywood #lisa catara #film #movies #art #artist #photography #photographer #celebrities #fame #success #women in film #fashion

[thedaughtersofaewora]

“There's pretty girls on every corner that watch him as he's walking home saying, "Does he know?" Will you ever know?” (Stay Beautiful - Taylor Swift)

My parents met in their first year at Red Earth College, 1992. My sister Heaven even wrote about their meeting on her online blog, “located in the middle of the Northern Ontario city where mother was raised.” 

Why did my princely father choose to attend Red Earth College in Canada? He never specified it himself. There are some theories. Of course there were much better schooling options elsewhere. His siblings, even his twin, attended private colleges back in the kingdom. Was it because of the fact that his mother (my queen grandmother) was to attend that very same Canadian college but then plans changed for her in life? It is a possibility. Even she could not wrap her head around his choice. Even though she never attended it’s classes, Red Earth College held unpleasant memories for her. Her first husband, that Professor-turned murderer.

And I’m not surprised one bit to learn my father was the most popular person at Red Earth College. He was famous royalty and that concealed the darkness of his mother’s first husband’s grim memory. “Now that college has worthy alumni to brag about.” One might even say. When the word got out, the paparazzi immediately popped up and it got so erratic the college had to tighten it’s security.

He was a gentleman even back then. Opening and holding doors for people passing in and out of buildings. Handling out free umbrellas in the rain, umbrellas that he paid for himself. He bought all kinds of essentials and put them in bags and handed them to the students outside the college for free. He was always there for them, supporting financially and emotionally. He always helped the teachers and other workers of the college in every way he possibly can, whether it was big or small. He had donated large sums of money to the college and to whatever fundraisers they held. The college always thanked him publicly but he hated the recognition because he know the media will get a hold of it and that it was something that needed to be done, something that he thought he shouldn’t be acknowledged and congratulated for. He wasn’t a performative man doing fake acts to raise his image. He did things from the good of his heart.

Have the men secretly envied him? Wanted to be like him? Probably, there should have been a few. They must’ve kept that to themselves. But a lot of men there spoke greatly of him. As if he was their best bud. Oh, those Canadian ladies, that is a big can to open. Not any different than Aeworan ladies in their infatuation, they were always on to father. Always following him around wherever he went, wanting to be near The Prince of Aewora every second. He couldn’t really study in the library, because he knew he’d attract a loud crowd which would have disturb the poor people studying and reading. Father always made the girls’ hearts skip a beat when he shot a glance at their direction. They gave goofy smiles when he flashed his dazzling dimpled smile at them. The girls loved his nice little dimple. He politely turned down many marriage proposals.

“He wasn’t out there flirting and dating a different lady each night. He wasn’t one to get into a random woman’s heart and then throw it in the trash the next day as if it were nothing.” 

The bad did happen during his time at that place. Sexual harassment, taking photos without his permission and selling them, getting chased and stalked by mad fans. Girls fighting each other because they wanted him for themselves, crowds of them waiting outside his door for a glance of him, like the wild paparazzis. The list goes on. The most positive memory of all, was his meeting my mother, Annika Hayashi.

Her hair was a brighter shade of red when my father first saw her. She looked exactly like her daughter, Heaven. Funny thing is that my father thought that red-haired girls were not attractive. He preferred black haired brunettes, for they were much better than redheads. Or so he thought. And Momma proved him wrong, so did their first daughter that was to be born years later. Momma was simply one of the “quiet and unpopular” in high school. And in college, it changed for her.

There was a crowd surrounding my father, as usual, that day outside the campus building. They said as my mother walked out of the building, my father looked at her, an intense look in his eyes, curiosity and full of wonder.

As soon as my mother caught his stare, she immediately turned her head away as if shy and easily embarrassed. The boy who was staring at her was overwhelmingly handsome, and she knew he was royalty. Her cheeks a deeper shade of red than ever before, redder than her hair. She was just a mere commoner girl. Why would a prince find her fascinating? One of the buds in the group knew what was going on and urged my father to go to that girl before she runs away. My father went up and talked to her first.

“Hello there, pretty girl!”

Momma remembers that exact startling moment very well. Then, noticing her confusion, father apologized. Momma loved that he was so sensitive, caring, and aware of her emotions. “No, It’s okay...” she almost trailed off but managed a quiet “Hi there.”

“Pretty! He thinks I’m pretty!”

It didn’t take very long for the prince to fall in love with this ordinary commoner girl. No, she was more than ordinary. This short, red-haired girl with the doe bronze eyes was special, extraordinary, suddenly important, a need to have in his life.

[skellebonez]

Hey! This is my first time doing this ! But can you wirte a scenario where in Winter's cursed AU where MK's parents try to come back and get custody again?( With prompt 14 and 45) With protective monkey dads? Have a great rest of your day! 💕

Thank you so much, I hope you like this as your first fill! It was very enjoyable to write since I had this idea months ago but never had the chance to put it down. But you’re gonna get a little more than just protective monkey dads! This is set pretty far into @winterpower98 's AU so he has a lot of people behind him.

Am I scaring you?/You may technically be an adult, but you’re still my child.

It didn’t take much guessing to figure out exactly what had made MK look like he wanted to run for the hills the second he picked up his phone. There were only a few very specific scenarios that could make him react like that now. But it was the way his face hardened and his whisper yelled into it that made Pigsy realize exactly who they were dealing with without the young man saying who it was.

Again.

“This is the third time you’ve gotten a new number for this,” he said, trying to keep his voice down. “I’ve told you already, the answer is no.”

"Tang," Pigsy whispered, nudging his favorite freeloader to get his attention better. "Go keep an eye outside. The last time they did this they showed up an hour later. If they do we're shuttering the shop early."

"On it," Tang said with a nod, standing with another nod to MK as he left.

"I am an adult, you cannot do anything to- yes I'm sure. Yes... yes, because I have a lawyer now mom!"

MK’s tone of voice made Pigsy smirk proudly. Had this been a few years ago MK would have had so much difficulty even just talking back to his parents, going quiet and shrinking into himself. Now?

He was standing up straight, speaking firmly and calmly, raising his voice a bit even. In the years Pigsy had known the young man he had changed drastically when it came to his parents. His and Tang’s attempts to raise his confidence and teach him to speak up for himself had certainly helped in that regard, but his attained abilities and strength as the Monkie Kid had no doubt given him a boost as well.

Not to mention the knowledge that not only did he have two father figures behind him... he had four (granted, Pigsy had mixed feelings for many reasons about both of them, but he’d warmed up to them when he saw how much MK had grown attached to them). Add Sandy, Mei, and Red Son to the mix?

He had a powerful group behind him to support him in whatever he needed.

"What do you mean you're already here?" MK said suddenly, drawing Pigsy's attention back from his inner thoughts.

"Whoa, hey, I said you can’t go in there!" Tang's voice suddenly rang through the entrance as someone pushed him backwards into the shop. He stumbled, almost falling flat on his rear and just barely catching himself on the counter. "You've been banned from this establishment and you know i-"

"MK," the woman who entered said as she closed her flip phone shut with a snap.

A man entered behind her, matching her in simple modern fashion. He shared MK's hair while the woman shared his eyes. It was obvious who they were to anyone seeing the three of them together.

Tang turned, shooting Pigsy a quick sorry that was met with an easy smile and a nod before the chef scowled at the two of them.

"... mom, dad," MK replied, slipping his phone into his pocket. He stood at his full height, back straight and no sign of hesitation on his face. "I told you, I'm not coming home."

"And we told you that we realized we made a mistake," his mother said, voice soft but with a softly uncertain undertone to it. Like she didn't quote believe her own words but was convincing herself otherwise. "Please, let us make it right."

"You had plenty of time to make it right all the times I tried to contact you before I became the Monkie Kid," MK said easily, practiced and firm. "Besides, I'm an adult now. You can't force me to do anything I don't want to do."

"You may technically be an adult," MK's mother said with a sigh, reaching out to grab his shoulder. "But you’re still my child."

Pigsy jumped in front of her, a sharp glare his only weapon. He knew better than to threaten these two, much like some of his more rowdy customers, but he would still put himself bodily between the young man he viewed as a son and anyone making him uncomfortable when he had the ability to do so.

"If you so much as breathe on my kid-"

"But he's not your kid now is he, pig man," MK's father sniped back, venom dripping from ever word and making the entire restaurant freeze in response.

"Excuse me," a new voice called out from behind them, a figure pressing a firm hand on his shoulder. "What were you saying to my brother?"

The reaction was instantaneous. MK’s father jumping to the side with a yelp, turning to come face to face with a less than pleasantly smiling Sun Wukong and a scowling Macaque behind him, neither bothering to keep up any semblance of a human disguise at the moment.

"I believe my student made it clear to you multiple times that he is an adult who can make his own decisions about who he wants to live with," he said coldly, moving to stand beside Pigsy with his fur raised and teeth barred in a way that could be mistaken for a smile. It certainly wasn't one if you knew anything about monkeys, though.

"Scram," Macaque chimed in, voice lower and far more threatening than anyone else in the building as he took a step forward. Though his words were fewer his tone was stronger and held just as much weight.

MK's parents took a step back in turn, stepping back into the entryway itself.

"Y-you may be his mentor," MK's mother started, her tone losing the odd uncertainty under it and gaining a frustration and confusion instead. "But I'm his mother."

"Who left him to his own devices and didn't even try to show interest in reconnecting until he made something of himself," Macaque snapped, snapping his teeth together in a warning bite as he took another step forward with a growl.

His parents stumbled back out of the shop, eyes wide and watching as MK was surrounded on either side by 4 others. Pigsy and Tang on his right, Wukong and Macaque on his left.

"Am I scaring you?" Macaque asked with a chuckle, letting out a noise of surprise when Wukong's tail touched his arm.

"I think he's got this now," Wukong said with a soft smile.

"Mom, dad," MK said with his voice still firm and sure. "I'm not coming back home with you. I'm an adult and you can't force me to come back. And if you keep trying like this I'll never give you the chance to let me chose to on my own."

The duo looked at their son, his father's eyes wide in shock and disbelief and his mother's eyes much the same with an undercurrent of... something. Something none of them could really place.

"I think we s-"

“You are not good people!" MK's dad snapped, standing up to his full height to tower over everyone else. "I caution you against this! This is your last chance to accept the damage you’ve caused! And if MK does not go back with us I will have no choice but to take further action! I will be contacting my lawyer to open a lawsuit against you and further more this will ruin your life with insurmountable debt!”

He smirked, crossing his arms over his chest in his assured victory as everyone else stared at him in shock and disbelief. Including his wife, who looked even more incredulous than any of them.

"D-debt?" MK eventually managed to get out, an unbelieving smile forming on his face. Before he started to laugh and march forward. "Debt? DEBT!? FUCK your debt! We'll take our chances DAD, Monkey King has a treasure trove and the best lawyer in all of China so take your debt and STUFF IT!" He raised both middle fingers toward his parents before jumping up to grab the handle of the shutter door and slam is shut before either of his parents could rush back in.

"INSURMOUNTABLE DEBT!" He yelled one last time, almost manically before sitting at a nearby table and covering his face with his hands as he burst into laughter. "I-I just- you can't threaten the Monkey King of all people with financial problems how am I related to this man!?"

The two pairs of parental figures looked at each other before laughing themselves, finding it difficult not to follow in MK's lead given how ridiculously that tense situation ended.

"You handled that pretty damn well, MK," Wukong said with proud smile as he ruffled his student’s hair.

"It's a lot easier when I know I have a bunch of dads and pops to back me up," he replied with a smile.

#monkie kid #lego monkie kid #fanfic #prompt fill #gen fic #found family #ensemble cast #sometimes parental relationships can be repaired #sometimes they can't #sometimes its better to let your kids choose #i have projected a bit sorry #cursed au

[sesamestreep]

22 for your choice of pairing - even if I don’t know the fandom! 😘❤️ (so sorry COVID has fucked your holiday plans, that really really sucks 😔) love you!!

#22 - falling asleep on the other’s shoulder

“Are you sure this is going to make you feel better?” Jess asks, not sounding convinced.

“You said I could pick any movie!” Nick shouts, from his spot on the couch.

“I know, I know,” she says, gently. “I just thought you’d pick something...nicer...”

“‘Die Hard’ is the best movie ever made and it’s the only thing that will bring me comfort right now!”

“Okay, then, we are going to watch ‘Die Hard’,” Jess says, settling next to him on the couch. “Because tonight is all about making you feel better. We’ve got pizza. We’ve got beer. We’ve got other snacks in the kitchen. We’ve got two whole boxes of tissues, because this is a no-judgment zone if you—or anybody else, for that matter—needs to cry about anything at all.”

Nick sighs loudly. “Jess, I swear, I’m really fine,” he says, even though he knows it won’t make a difference. “So what if Julia dumped me? Who cares? I don’t need love. I’m like a lone wolf!”

“The most successful wolves live in packs, though,” she says, eyebrows drawn together in concern. “Wolves that go it alone are, like, sick and dying, usually.”

“Is that true?!”

“Yes.”

“Why would you tell me that, Jess?”

“Oh, Nick—”

“I’m in a very emotional place right now!”

“No, you’re right. I’m sorry. I’m thinking of another animal! Not wolves! A different animal, that’s not cute at all. Those are the ones that...die alone...”

“Jesus,” Nick says, hanging his head. “You are so bad at this.”

“Okay, well,” she exclaims, waving the remote at him desperately, “let’s just let John Wayne do the cheering up, then. Let’s start the movie!”

“It’s John McClane, Jess. Not John Wayne.”

“My bad,” she mutters, and presses play.

Normally, Jess would not be his first choice for cheering him up after a breakup, but her method of picking a movie you love and watching it on repeat until you feel better did help her move on from the flaming wreckage of a six year relationship not that long ago, so maybe she’s onto something. When she’d suggested it, though, everyone was supposed to be here to support him, but Winston’s girlfriend got the night off from work unexpectedly and Schmidt is stuck at the office for like the fourth night in a row, so it’s just him and Jess tonight.

She’s never seen ‘Die Hard’ before, which he finds both unbelievable and completely unsurprising at the same time, somehow. It doesn’t really seems like her kind of thing, if he’s being honest, since there’s no cartoon bunnies or dramatic makeover scenes or characters expressing themselves through dance in it, but she hangs in there pretty well. She gasps and hides her face in his shoulder when Takagi dies, but that scene is kind of gross, so Nick can’t really fault her for it. When she doesn’t move her head off his shoulder, he briefly panics, but reassures himself that she’s probably just anticipating another gory scene and it’s not because she wants to cuddle or something.

“You know, this movie has a fascinating thread of economic anxiety running through it,” she whispers, about forty minutes in. “John McClane’s insecurity about his wife being financially independent from him and using her maiden name at work, not to mention the fear at this time that Japanese companies were outperforming American ones in many—”

“Jess, please, I’m begging you. Don’t try to make ‘Die Hard’ smart!”

“But it is, Nick! There’s a lot of interesting subtext here!”

“I believe you, okay?” He says. “But right now, I only want to watch this movie because Bruce Willis shoots everybody and gets the girl in the end!”

“Spoilers, Nick!”

“This movie is twenty years old! It’s not my fault you’re the only person on Earth who hasn’t seen it!”

“Fine,” Jess says, hunkering down further against his side. He really does not know why she hasn’t moved yet.

Another twenty minutes pass before Nick hears himself asking, “Is that what girls want?”

“What?” Jess asks, distracted. “Oh. Reginald VelJohnson? Totally.”

“No, not—wait, really? That’s what you’re into?”

Jess rolls her eyes. “Duh. He’s picking up doughnuts for his pregnant wife! He’s a good man.”

“Not Bruce Willis?”

“Not until he learns a thing or two about womens’ equality,” she says, wrinkling her nose. “Is that what you were asking? If women want John McClane?”

“Yeah,” he admits with a shrug that jostles her a little. “Sorry.”

She doesn’t seem deterred by it at all, which is nice. Not that he needs her to keep snuggling against him or anything, but it’s kind of comforting in a weird way.

“Maybe some girls do. But I think John McClane is meant to appeal more to you than to me.“

“Me? Really?”

“Yeah, it’s like...every guy who sees this movie is supposed to be thinking to himself, you know, ‘if that were me, I’d save everybody too! I’d outsmart the terrorists and be the hero!’”

“But isn’t that the guy you’d want to be with?”

“I already told you, my heart belongs to Reginald VelJohnson,” she says, hand to heart and everything. “But I think what you’re actually asking me is what Julia wanted.”

“Yeah, I guess so.”

“Well, I hate to break it to you but I don’t think she broke up with you because you haven’t dropped enough C4 down enough elevator shafts.”

Nick laughs, without meaning to. “That sounds like a very unfortunate euphamism.”

“Ugh,” Jess gags, punching his shoulder. “Don’t be gross!”

“I’m sorry!”

“I’m trying to say that your problem isn’t that you’re not McClane-y enough.”

“So what is my problem, then?

“I’m not going to diagnose you, Nick! That’s what therapy is for!”

“Come on, Jess. I’m broke, I don’t have insurance. You know I can’t afford a real therapist. You deal with middle school boys all day, you’re the next best thing.”

“Well, since you’re already comparing yourself to a middle school boy,” Jess says, “I might suggest your confidence needs a little work.”

“No kidding,” Nick says, unimpressed.

“I’m serious,” she says. “You are a great guy, Nick! You just get so in your head about everything that you sabotage your own happiness. You tried to read meaning into every little thing Julia did and you freaked her out. Just believe in yourself a little bit for once!”

“Hey, remember when tonight was supposed to be about making me feel better?” He asks, stunned. It’s not like he didn’t know that was part of his problem, but it just feels a thousand times worse knowing that Jess knows it too.

“You heard the part where I called you a great guy, right?“ she asks, and she has the decency to look slightly embarrassed. When he just glares at her, she adds, “Listen, if you want to feel better, I’ll be honest: Julia messed up too. I mean, you had one small panic attack about a cactus and that’s it for her? You need somebody who will stick with you through those rough patches, and Julia couldn’t do that. So I think you’re better off.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, it’s like—you need somebody who gets you. And I don’t think she got you,” Jess says, gesturing wildly with her beer bottle. “But what do I know? It’s not like I’m an expert. I’m as single as you are.”

He wishes she wouldn’t remind him of that, because it’s only going to make the fact that they’ve spent the entire night watching a movie and basically cuddling very weird for him. He’s always thought she was cute—it’s part of why he was so against her moving into the loft in the beginning, because he knew one of them was going to end up with a crush on her eventually—but she’s also somehow managed to become one of his best friends over these last few months, which means he needs to be careful. He’s got a good track record when it comes to keeping friends, but he’s terrible at relationships; the whole thing with Julia had basically proved that. Against all odds, Jess has becomes important enough in his life that he needs to avoid any confusing, romantic feelings about her so their friendship won’t be ruined. He is not going to screw this up, no matter what.

“In conclusion,” he says, to hide the fact that he’s been thinking about her all this time, “be more like Reginald VelJohnson and my romantic troubles will be over.”

“Exactly,” Jess replies, with a grin.

They settle into an easy silence then that lasts the rest of the movie. Oddly enough, Nick realizes he is actually starting to feel better. Maybe Jess is onto something with this breakup coping strategy of hers. He’s about to say as much to her, when he hears her snore quietly next to him. He cranes his neck carefully and discovers that she’s asleep against his shoulder. She might be drooling a little bit, too.

Nick waits for the panic to settle in—this is way too domestic and familiar for two people who are just friends—but it doesn’t happen. It’s actually kind of nice, sitting here with her, knowing she’s so comfortable with him. He could get used to this, he thinks, as the credits roll on the movie and he cues it up to start from the beginning again.

#HAPPY VALENTINES TO ALL MY PALENTINES ON TUMBLR DOT COM #But especially to Kate whomst I love and whomst sent me this ask #And whomst stays mutuals with me even though we share almost zero fandoms #(This ask is from Christmas hence the travel plan cancellation mention I am fine I’m just a very slow writer!!) #anyway here is a several hundred word analysis of die hard hidden in the proverbial Trojan horse of a nick/Jess fic #Die Hard is a good movie sometimes #also it wasn’t until I was 3/4 of the way through that I remembered nick lost a bet to schmidt #And has to name his firstborn Reginald VelJohnson which i think makes this way funnier #(I’m pretty sure his and Jess’s kid is named Reggie in that one flash forward because Jess Day is the best) #set somewhere in season 1 idk where #after robot arm but before fancy man??? #Does that make sense?? #anyway Kate I love you #touch prompts #mw #new girl #jessica day #nick miller #otp: best friends #otp: old ass dog love #otp: I would have noticed you #ask #penvenens

[scripttorture]

I'm trying to write a character who gets depression/anxiety after a few days of torture, but I'm worried that from an outside perspective the tiredness, lack of interest, and hyper vigilance are going to look like the character has been beaten down into meekness/compliance by the torture. Any advice on how to avoid the trope that this character was broken by their expeience when most days they're too tired to argue about anything and are slowly checking out of life due to the depression?

That’s a really good question. I think the best thing to do is combine several different approaches rather then relying on one particular thing.

 My first piece of advice holds true for writing any kind of minority experience. If you think you could be suggesting that an entire group has a particular feature/characteristic include another character from the same group who doesn’t. The more characters you have who are torture survivors the easier it is to show that they’re a diverse bunch with different symptoms and experiences.

 They don’t need to be major characters. They don’t need to be in the story for very long. But having them there makes a big difference.

 This is a lot easier if you’re talking about legally defined torture in a prison of some kind. But if that’s not the kind of story you’re telling consider bringing other survivors in during the character’s recovery. They could meet people while waiting to see the same doctor or mental health professional. They might be advised to join a group, either for group therapy or communal support. They might meet people while looking for financial support or jobs. If they’re religious they might be introduced to people through their priest or broader religious community.

 The next thing worth thinking about is: what can your character practically do?

 We have this tendency to conflate resistance with big, obvious, violent acts. Most of the time torture victims are not in a position to do that kind of thing. And in situations where people are held for a very long time (ie slavery, prisoner of war camps etc) what you tend to see are a lot of smaller or less obvious acts. Enslaved people did oppose slavery violently, with organised military action and with smaller acts of violence like poisoning slave owners.

 But they also did a host of other things. They sabotaged equipment or products they were supposed to produce. They broke valuable objects. They provided each other with material support and aid. They escaped and set up separate societies. They channelled resources into these societies. They aided others in escape attempts.

 It’s always worth thinking about what your character can actually practically do and what the risks or consequences of those actions might be.

 I talk about that in a post over here. Characters can take meaningful action even when they can’t take effective action. It’s worth taking the time to think about what would be meaningful to this character and figure out ways to show them prioritising it.

 It’s also worth considering what depression and anxiety can look like because yes, the features you describe are common in people with depression and anxiety. But they’re not necessarily constant and they’re not the only ways these conditions manifest.

 Depression can look like sleeping all the time. It can also look like not sleeping and a lack of sleep feeds into anxiety. Insomnia also causes paranoia after a while, makes it harder to interpret other people’s responses and can increase the risk of violent behaviour.

 Similarly depression can look like eating a lot, but it can also look like nausea, like being unable to eat full meals and struggling to keep food down. From the outside anxiety can be read as fear but it can also be read as aggression.

 It wouldn’t be unrealistic for this character to be more depressed at times and more anxious at others. It wouldn’t be unrealistic for them to be incredibly sleep deprived, paranoid and less able to see the risk in something like… spitting on a guard some days even if they’re generally incredibly tired, lethargic and apathetic.

 Basically even if this is the predominant way depression and anxiety manifest in this character there’s still leeway. There’s still moments when you can have them go against that. Even if it isn’t very often.

 The choice to use an outside perspective does make things harder. Especially if that perspective is a character who believes these kinds of tropes and has a poor understanding of mental health. One way to get around this is to have the point of view character’s perspective change with time and have them come to (and lead the audience to) the conclusion that they were wrong.

 But the character doesn’t need to reach that realisation if you work in enough signals to the reader that they’re unreliable. One way to do that is to contrast what the point of view character thinks with what the survivor character actually says and does.

 Let’s say the point of view character is having a conversation with another person who isn’t a survivor and they present the survivor as this sad case, broken by what they experienced because of a specific behaviour. Like sleeping a lot or being listless or not engaging with things in the way they used to.

 On it’s own that scene could easily back up these tropes (though it’s not an unrealistic scene because these tropes are commonly believed.) So let’s imagine the scene with the survivor’s response.

 They could respond that they sleep a lot because they have chronic pain or because their depression makes it hard to eat properly which leaves them exhausted. Physical symptoms like that are often easier for people to understand and it underlines the point that this is illness not some state where they’re permanently incapable. They can also respond with the steps they’re taking to try and make their life better. For chronic pain in torture survivors that can mean medication or physiotherapy. Perhaps they’re working on changing their diet or the schedule they eat at and sleep at, to work around these physical limits.

 You can apply the same kind of logic to the other points here, talk about why depression makes the character listless or stops them engaging and what they’re doing now. The aids that help them focus, how therapy is going, the new hobbies they’re exploring instead (perhaps because old ones contain triggers.)

 It’s harder to apply the same thing if the character is still imprisoned and still being tortured. But you can still do it. May be the dreams and plans the victim character had before seem meaningless now, but there will still be things they want to do and there will still be things they find meaning in.

 May be they don’t think they can be a Nobel prize winning doctor any more and may be to an outside perspective that looks like ‘broken’. But it’s harder for the audience to agree with that conclusion if the victim character is saying ‘My priorities are different now. I regret spending so much time working and I miss my family. If I get out I want to make them my focus instead of work.’

 A self aware character might be able to say ‘I don’t think I could achieve that dream anymore. But I think I could achieve this instead.’

 You can have other characters, doctors, psychologists or anyone who has worked with survivors for a long period, refute the idea these people are broken. Hurt, yes, but that doesn’t mean they’re incapable of living or of living well.

 If the perspective is more of an omnipresent narrator you’ve got more scope to show little acts of resistance the character might be engaging in. You’ve also got more scope to just straight up tell the readers what’s going on in this character’s head.

 It’s worth stressing that characters like this do still have and make choices. They are choices in incredibly awful situations and they are not free choices. But that capacity to choose is still there. And there are understandable, though not always rational, thought processes behind those choices.

 Depression doesn’t always mean checking out of life. I’ve known a fair number of people with depression who kept going with things they considered important. They just also… got no enjoyment out of it. They were miserable and in pain. But they were still trying to do the best they could for their kids or finish their degree. These efforts weren’t always successful. Depression makes most things more difficult.

 But a character willing to give up on themselves isn’t necessarily willing to give up on other things.

 At the end of the day the symptoms you choose for your character and how those symptoms manifest isn’t the problem. There’s nothing wrong with picking the symptoms that are right for your character and there’s nothing wrong with writing them in this way.

 The problem comes when we start telling people that there’s no hope, that nothing gets better. It comes when we imply that natural, physiological reactions to trauma are somehow the fault of the victim or that those reactions mean they are forever controlled by their abuser.

 Torture is an awful, effecting and life changing experience. It leaves lasting wounds.

 But humans are incredibly resilient, stubborn creatures. Our capacity for survival, to find ways to live well, is astounding.

 There’s room for optimism here and it’s worth making space for that in your story.

 I hope that helps :)

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#writing advice #tw torture #writing survivors #writing victims #writing symptoms #writing recovery #depression #anxiety #torture survivors are not broken #ways victims resist #mental health #mental illness in fiction

[gallavictorious]

love your metas, so can i get your thoughts? i've always felt that personality wise, fiona/ lip are alike, and then ian/ debbie are alike. fiona/ lip are smart but often lost in what they want out of life/ what path to take. they both self sabotage and spiral in response to that. s4/ s9 fiona and s6/ s7 lip had similar arcs. they seem to need to receive romantic "love"/ validation, more than to give it, and can be selfish in that. but they are very giving when it comes to their family. [1/2]

[2/2] so anyways, whereas ian/ debbie very much want to give "love" as much as they want to get it, to the point that they always let any awful person who demands it, have it. kash/ ned/ caleb/ trevor/ matt/ derek/ the s10 2 ladies/ etc were all like that. (mickey being the 1 exception ofc!) they can be manipulated and therefore taken advantage of. but they work hard and take pride in that and know what they want (rotc/ emt and babysitting/ welding). but debs is selfish obviously, and ian isn't

Hiya nonnie! That's some very interesting thoughts right there, and a few I hadn't considered before! Let’s see...

I think you make a great point about Fiona and Lip both being smart but lacking a clear idea of how to translate that into a sustainable lifestyle, and they certainly do have a tendency to self-sabotage. In fairness, fairly often it's things outside of their control that derail them – which I think is a very good illustration of how much harder it is to ”make it” when you come from that sort of background. Even when they aregiven opportunities and try to capitalize on them, there's so very little margain for error; everything is always just one small step from collapsing, there's always something going on with their family that they need to deal with, and when things do go wrong, they mostly lack the resources (mental and financial) to respond in a good way. Their coping mechanisms are maladaptive as all hell, that's for sure, courtesy of their fucked-up upbringing. But yeah, quite apart from all that, I think Lip and Fiona have a habit to fuck things up for themselves by not doing great with stability in general. Rob's an asshole but not entirely wrong when he calls Fiona a chaos junkie, and Lip's issues with authority and alcohol don't exactly make things easier for him.

Additionally, I think that while Lip and Fiona are both capable of hard work – and for a long time they certainly work their assess off to take care of their younger siblings – they also have a tendency to look for quick fixes and easy outs? They're problem solvers and quick thinkers, and they had to be, to deal with the mess Frank and Monica have made of their lives, but I'd argue that this survival tactic has developed into a somewhat problematic predispotion to eschew slowly, steadily working their way towards a goal in favour of leaping on ”smart” deals and opportunities. Which isn't always bad, of course, but it has caused them a fair share of problems; consider, for instance, Fiona and her real estate escapades in season 9 and Lip's highly questionable choices in season 11. (I just watched 11x07 again and GOD do I want kick him in the nuts. I love Lip, but grow the fuck up, man. Tami is a bloody saint for being as patient with him as she is.)

In contrast, Ian and Debbie have a crazy strong work-ethic and are highly goal-oriented. They fix their eyes on the prize and they fucking go for it, putting in the hours and the work without hesitation or complaint. They are far less likely to look for short-cuts or screw themselves over because they get bored with the monotomy. That doesn't mean their path to success is a straight one, of course; Ian's bipolar has wreaked some proper havoc for him, and though she's succeed in both having a kid and a job she trained for, Debbie's narcissm is keeping her from developing the strong bonds (familial and romantic) that she so desperately craves. I think the difference between Ian and Debbie here is that Ian is genuinely looking for a partnership and a real connection (to such a degree that it sometimes leads him into highly unfortunate relationships) whereas Debbie thinks she wants that but isn't prepared to actually be vulnerable and perceptive to the other person's needs to such a degree that a real partnership becomes possible. She never, I feel, actually sees and knows her partners for who they are; she projects onto them her idea of what they should be like, and responds to that, not to them. It hasn't ended well, so far.

And I have to say that while Trevor (of whom I'm fond in spite of his flaws, so you'll find no hate for him on this blog) and (especially) Caleb have their issue I don't think it's fair to compare them to Kash and Ned. As for Matt and Derek, they may not be perfect, but I'd argue that Debbie treated them far worse than they did her. I mean, she did rape both of them. (Out of youthful ignorance, sure: it's still sexual assault. I do find it very interesting and quite encouraging that she obviously recognizes her own guilt in season 11.) By and large, Debbie has treated her partners worse than they have treated her, which is certainly not true of Ian. (Which doesn't mean Ian's a saint. Boy's got plenty of flaws, and he doesn't always treat his lovers perfectly – the cheating comes to mind – but in general he doesn't treat them badly at all; as you say, he is more likely to allow himself to be treated badly by them.)

Circling back to Lip and Fiona, I think you have a point in them craving the way their partners make them feel, but being less interested in having a partner to build a life with, if that makes sense? They aren't really looking for someone to share their lives and struggles with (which might be the resulf of them being used to having no one but each other to rely on for most of their lives); they want that high of being in love and in lust, and when things get a bit too steady and boring, they get restless. Jimmy was, admittedly, a big support for Fiona for a while, but it was quite one-sided: always on her terms. Lip might be coming around on that with Tami, though – possibly because she's assertive enough to push back against him and not let him get bored. Also, Lip (and Fiona) has shown himself to be far more devoted to kids in his care than to his partners, so I'm sure Freddie's existence is a major factor in him sticking it out with Tami even when things are hard. (Not to suggest he doesn't love Tami; I think that she's by far the best match for him on the show.) At the end of the day, I think that Lip and Fiona would enjoy someone properly at their side and in their corner – they just need to understand that that's something they can have, and that for it to work, they need to be in their partner's corner too. As I said, Lip might be on the way, though his unwillingness to solve problems together with Tami is worrisome; who knows what Fiona's up to in Florida; Ian's already got it, and as for Debbie... she knows she wants it, but not how to achieve it. For her, I think, the answer might be to reassess how important having a partner really is to her; does she truly want it, with all the compromises it inevitably entails? Then again, she's young yet; we were, I think, none of us very good at relationships at 20, and Debbie (and her siblings) has had a rougher go of it than most. She has time to learn.

This took... forever, nonnie, so I do hope you see this!. :o Can't say I expect my scattered and tentative musings to have been worth the wait, but I ended up having a lot of fun thinking about this, so here's to you finding something of value in there. Thank you for sharing your thoughts with me! <3 And as always, if anyone else wants to chime in you're more than welcome to; my ideas on this aren't very fixed, so I'd love to hear other or additional perspectives.

#the prize for being the Gallagher Least Bad at Relationships is getting to marry one mickey milkovich #congratulations to our worthy winner ian #no wonder he fought so hard for it... 😏 #and oh would you look at that! #i answered an ask! #i am very excited about this! #so sorry for the wait nonnie this ask had me thinking a lot so i loved it #lip gallagher #fiona gallagher #debbie gallagher #ian gallagher #meta #asks #my stuff

[i-am-a-passenger]

Grace getting off the train hc list:

image description: a spin on the “you’ve been in a coma for x amount of time” meme featuring Grace. Grace’s head is poorly edited onto the face on the patient and the nurse is touching her shoulder saying “you’ve been on the train for ten years” Grace replies “can’t wait to go outside where there’s no pandemic”. end description. 

this one ended up incredibly long... 

- Grace’s number was built up over the course of 8 years where Simon was retraumatising her and she was making herself worse for other ppl’s approval out of a misguided idea of what she was supposed to do, that sort of trauma and straying from the recovery the train intended for her will take a long time to recover from, so Grace gets off the train 2 maybe 3 years after Book 3 finishes. 

- also I like to think that she and her kid friends moved out of the mall car to somewhere else and set up a new camp there, and that some of them waited after getting their exits for Grace to get hers so they could leave together. And so Grace wouldn’t be alone on the train since that’s a huge source of anguish for her and I like the idea of some of the older kids in their teens looking after Grace and making sure she isn’t forced into a perfect leader role again and is able to take time to herself to look after her mental health and pursue hobbies and such so when she gets off the train she’s in a much better headspace and able to have healthier mutually caring relationships with people.

- Grace’s parents never stopped looking for her okay they love her :’[ but losing your only child for several years took a huge toll on their relationship and gave them lots of time to reflect on their not perfect behaviour and realise they were hurting Grace and why they treated her that way. 

(taking huge inspiration from @blackfemmecharacterdependency​ ‘s no train au for Grace’s family here...) Grace’s mother realised she was living vicariously through her daughter and that her investment in Grace’s dancing and fame wasn’t healthy. So with Grace gone for such a long time and her unable to do that she turned inward and realised that about herself, and set to making her own life better and happier for herself so she wouldn’t need to project all these standards and unfulfilled dreams onto her daughter. 

I like to think that Grace’s mum used to be like, a singer or an actress or something and was convinced to give that up by her husband to raise their daughter, and with Grace gone she returns to her career and reconnects with her old friends and colleagues. Also it’s important to me that as part of this she stops straightening her hair and goes natural, and while she still dresses fancy she does so more for herself than keeping up professional appearances. So when Grace comes back she’s ready to be accepting of her fashion choices and self expression rather than control her.  

As for Grace’s dad, he seems like the type who’s overly invested in what things should be like to the point where he ignores or tries to change how things actually are, even if doing so hurts people. Like, when he got told Grace had shoplifted his response was “Grace would never steal” and he argues with the police officer, which really hurts Grace because rather than talking to her and thinking about how she feels and she would steal, he jumps into protecting his idealised image of Grace, and as we see with Grace’s mum scolding her for dressing up these parents really projected their ideals onto their daughter and traumatised her. 

So for him it would be about letting go of controlling others and realising why he had to make Grace into someone else and mould her into what he wanted. I think after a few years her parents hire therapists for themselves and he does a lot of digging into his past to become a better person. 

So when Grace comes back she goes home to a household that’s not perfect, but it’s trying to heal. 

- Grace and her parents have a kind of rocky relationship for the first few months that she’s back. Grace has a hard time opening up about everything that happened on the train for obvious reasons, I mean... a magical train is hard enough, but corunning a cult on a magical train and almost getting killed by your best friend and a bunch of indoctrinated children? the Hazel thing? hard to get all that out, especially to parents who haven’t exactly been sympathetic towards her. 

Also Grace’s dad kinda took a few steps back in his growth and tried to get Grace to start dancing again and just pushed for things to return to normal and for Grace to fit back into the plan he had for her life, partly because of not worked through stuff and partly because of guilt that she’d missed out on so much of her life (her entire teen years were spent on the train) and he did ultimately want her to be happy but went about it in the wrong way, so for these months Grace’s mum was like a mediator trying to figure out what Grace actually wanted and needed and protect her from being pushed back into the limelight when she wasn’t ready. 

- Grace’s parents got Grace a therapist and together they started figuring out what Grace actually wanted. I think Grace tried to get back into dancing professionally and while she was incredibly good because all those years she never stopped practicing, not having a professional teacher for 10 years meant she’d have to train again for a long time before she could catch up with her peers and the competition. 

Also the experience of competing against other people and winning stuff and being put on a pedestal for it is part of what made her act in the harmful ways she did during Book 3. So I personally am opposed to Grace returning to the life style that hurt her. This is something Grace realises through her therapy and she deals with a lot of feelings around being unable to dance professionally when that’s what her life was leading to, but she decides to explore other options like going to school and working and goes on a self discovery journey for a few years. 

- She co stars with her mum in some shows and movies after she got her an acting gig, or she sings with her, and she tries out other stuff too like working in a book shop ( 😏😏😏😏) and like idk... being the person who wears the chuck ee cheese fursuit at a chuck ee cheese restaurant just to see what it’s like and has a lot of fun. Eventually she decides that working with kids is what she wants to do, partly because she was really good at helping her kid friends get their numbers down and found it rewarding to help them, and she feels guilt that she couldn’t help Hazel in the same way, so if she can she wants to stop any other kids from feeling the same way and make a difference in people’s lives. Also as someone with a note great childhood she empathises a lot with kids that are suffering, so she applies for a course and starts doing placements.

I imagine her dad was a bit disappointed in this decision but did his best to hide it for Grace’s sake. 

Other stuff that makes me :] :

- When Grace tried dancing out again after years she met Shayna again and was nervous about it because they didn’t exactly get on well as kids but Shayna apologised to her for being mean n they become friends...

Shayna also ended up on the train because I said so, she was on there because she had insecurities that made her lash out at other people to feel better and she got train snatched after facing consequences for this from people she was mean to. She was on there for a few months - around the same time period Jesse was on the train for. And she got on just as the Apex was being formed, so she and her denizen companion would come across cars that had been raided by the Apex every now and then and wonder what was going on. They also ran into Amelia once or twice and were like ????? but thought nothing serious of it. 

So Shayna becomes the main person Grace confides in about her train experience and they end up becoming really good friends. Like... Grace missed huge amounts of music and films and other stuff while she was gone and is really alienated from pop culture and general conversation because she has no idea what people are talking about most of the time so Shayna and her have sleepovers and marathon all the important movies Grace missed and like... listen to music Shayna thinks she might like together. 

Sometimes Shayna pranks her by making her think that something no one cares about is a really big deal like... she tells her sausage party is considered a cult classic or something. Or she lies to her about memes so Grace embarrasses herself. But it’s not malicious or like, stuff that would really embarrass her or seriously hurt her feelings. they just mess around together is what I’m getting at. 

- Also Grace figures out her triggers with her therapist so stuff like the name simon and the word apex need to be avoided, and Shayna respects that and keeps it in mind when she finds stuff for them to watch together. Like they avoid the reptile section when they go to zoos and stuff too. 

- Grace keeps in touch with most of the kids that used to be in the apex, and they meet up every now and again and have a big get together barbecue on the anniversary of Grace getting off the train. And if any of them came from families with financial troubles Grace and her family try to support them. Basically the kids stay a part of Grace’s life and her support circle even after the train. 

- I do like to think that Grace and Lake would meet again and that Grace would have a chance to make amends. I don’t think Lake or Jesse would want Grace in their lives bc of what she did to them, but they accept her apology and wish her the best of luck in rebuilding her life. 

#infinity train #infinity train book 3 #infinity train grace #grace monroe #grace infinity train #grace theory #fan theory #grace monroe headcannon #in my heart all of this and more is cannon #very invested in grace and shayna being friends #I think it's a neat inversion of grace and simon #like one is childhood enemies to friends the other is childhood friends to... not exactly enemies but nothing good #like they weren't enemies bc simon was the one attacking her while she tried to help him at the cost of her own safety and potentially life

[mage-and-the-tantrums]

Excerpts from a book I will probably *try* to write

333 Days home.

333 days ago exactly. August the 5th, 2020, I took my final return flight, from Istanbul to Tunisia, after 5 years of expatriation. After graduating quietly, on my bed while wearing shorts, I found no reasons to stay in Turkey, and no reasons to not come back home, in a world torched by a global pandemic.

Upon returning home, and within a month, I discovered how badly my family failed and grew apart. I never thought it could happen to us. My sister helped wake me from my stun. "They just behave for a couple of months, when you were here for vacations, and also whenever we called you on messenger. It's broken", she said, with an acceptance that should be forbidden to her age.

I was led, mystically, to discover some dark secrets. I refuse to talk or write about them here. Only one person besides me knows the whole truth.

The bitch and a half about knowing something that you cannot divulge to anyone, and I mean absolutely not a living soul, is that it detaches you from the world. It leaves you questioning your two best friends with whom you thought you would discuss anything. You charge and trial "in absentia" them, and you find them guilty without them actually doing anything. It has been an education, to discover what loneliness truly meant. I felt corrected, back to school, as harshly as possible, just because I thought I was alone when in Istanbul. Life showed me, in the span of 30 days, how much I could be alone, while within my family, my friends, and the country that I love and missed beyond words.

I would sit next to my friends, in the backseat of a car, listening to autotuned american rap (which I disdain), while they converse about girls, cars, and the eventuality of marriage with the inexplicable costs that it imposes in our country, and how one should escape this sorry corner of the world to Europe. I would hear scribbles and syllables, as if I shrank and sank 6 feet deeper into myself. The only thought swimming in the pool of my brain is "how little do they know about the dilemma tearing me apart. They are here, they have known me for years, they are practically the family I chose for myself. And yet, and yet, we're oceans apart. Nothing would be the same ever again. How many secrets could a person hold while sitting next to you ? We're all strangers to one another.

I truly discovered how loneliness could snatch someone from their settings, to dictate its own terms and draw an existence, in pale shades of grey for that someone to dwell in. At some point, I realised that, no matter how shockingly and frighteningly true my thoughts were, there were equally dangerous and self-destructive. Looking into what felt like a void is fun and instructive and intellectually probably sexy, until it begins leaking into your life, which it does pretty often. I was as alone as I permitted myself to be. I figured that I needed to create a breathing gap between me and some shit in my life, that, in the end, is none of my business. Some persons decided and acted, while apparently thinking so little to none about the consequences. It is not, nor it will ever be, under any pretext, my problem. I kept repeating it, slowly, breathing it into my lungs, and holding to that breath, in the corner of my room, during some long ass nights, and I realised that I really needed to believe that. I needed to find a formula to market that idea to my brain which kept feeding on the void. Truth can be a very subjective and useless concept. So I turned to another, more pragmatic concept; priorities. I asked the primordial, narcissistic question: "What about me ?". No one was asking that question, so I did.

From there, I cruised my way to restore some inner peace after a chaos that was served to me, and before I could speak, crammed down my throat. If I could reduce it down to a words, it would be this: "Everyone thought of themselves. Nobody thought about me, so why the fuck should I lose sleep over it ? I'll think of myself as well, because if I don't, no one will".

Friendships are another big, juicy topic. Tough love all the way, and if you don't like it, then you're overly sensitive. Tough love wrapped by layers and layers of selfishness and a critical lack of any notion of emotional intelligence. But at the end of the day, I think that I am privileged to have a circle of people with whom I can ride and spend time. It could have been a lot worse.

The food is awesome. I genuinely think that Tunisian cuisine is criminally underrated. It never got properly marketed on a global level (nor it ever will). It is very hard to not gain weight here, and I am regularly (although with a shy frequency) I go out to run.

Financially, I am leeching off my Mom, since I am still working on establishing an eCommerce platform with a friend. She gladly helps, and I feel so grateful for her support. She has been my guardian in these difficult times.

Do I think about expatriation again ? I honestly do not know. Tunisia has been sinking for quite some time, and everyone is looking for a way out. I am convinced that we should stay here and fight. No matter how little the effort, we should grab the situation by the reigns and ride our way, no matter where. But I understand those who believe in the "personal salvation". Everyone should aspire for a financial and a moral dignified life, which is becoming harder by the day here. The social tissue is more like a bikini now, with the bra being the wealthy who got wealthier (upper), and all of the rest including the middle class who are sinking deeper into the pit of bank credits. Want to get married ? that would be this huge amount that would never be able to pay for with 2 salaries and a 10 years saving account. Want to purchase a house ? how cute. Mathematically and financially impossible, even with the most elaborate and strict saving measures. But hey, all is possible with a huge, fat, juicy credit bank that would suck nearly half of your salary (if not exactly half) for 1 to 2 decades.

Being back home is re-calibrating your tongue, your digestive system and your daily habits. It is a constant rewiring, and an eternal effort to make things better, because we know better now. Being back home is struggling to find your place again, because everyone is so used to your absence they often need to be reminded you're here now. Being back home is the choice to actually stress-test your relationships, and see if people would bother to grant you once again, access to their lives. Being back home is the shocking resolution that most won't bother to call, and that most relationships are as random as the circumstances. In a parallel reality, you wouldn't even be friends. Being back home is very far from being the solution to anything. But being back home feels like recharging. It feels once again that I am alive.

#excerpt from a book i will probably write #writers thoughts #thoughts of a writer #writers on tumblr #writeblr #poets and writers #home #thoughts of a mage #mage #spilled thoughts #spilled inks #spilled words

[fantasysamsclub]

so the adventure zone was recently picked up for an animated series.

hooray! good for the mcelroys. i’m glad they’re getting more mainstream. i’m glad they’re able to financially support themselves and their family with this fame. i’m glad taz has a chance to get new fans! i’m glad fans get to see some of the most iconic balance moments animated!

i also think it’s a monstrously bad idea.

(this is long and this may seem pretty mean and radical, but please read before fighting me on any of this. also this isn’t an attack on anyone that’s excited for any of this adaptation stuff! it’s good to be excited for this success. but also there are some things to consider.)

okay! so, up front: i think the taz animated series is a bad idea. i also think, retrospectively, the graphic novel was a bad idea. also i think the vox machina origins comic and animated series are bad ideas.

okay so this is going to get. a little long and rambly. but i’ll try to keep it organized.

1. TAZ Graphic Novel

now, when the first book was announced, i was excited! i’m still excited for the next one. aside from the blue/green elves thing, which i won’t ever forgive, carey’s doing a great job adapting this piece. i’ve met her before and she generally does know what she’s talking about, comics-wise, so i do think she was a very good choice to pick up the graphic novel

there are still problems! oh, are there problems. for example, i think everyone in the novel is characterized in a wildly different way than the original podcast. i can also get into this later if people want to hear about it, but! people have picked at that one before.

out of all the adaptations i’m going to talk about, this one is the best!

2. Vox Machina Origins

alright. context. i don’t know if i’ve said this on this platform before, but i’m a comic book artist (my big project is coming out this year, i’ll announce it on here, that’s not the point of this rant). and i bought the comic on a whim! it was a christmas present to me.

now, i know a lot of people read it and enjoyed it! and that’s great. i’m happy you got joy out of the book, really. i think every piece of art means something to someone, no matter its popularity or quality. and it did well, as far as i know! so that’s very good for CR and its fans. also i think pike is hot.

all that aside, the comic does suck very much.

i could go into a deep analysis of it (i CAN, if enough people actually want to see that?) but tldr: it’s rushed, both in production and story pacing. the character art is good! but you can see the shortcuts. the lettering is. awful. (that’s mostly a problem of modern comics in general though)

and i’m not blaming anyone at CR for these problems! really, if dark horse wants to pick up an adaptation, any writers from the original project should be heavily coached on how to write for a new medium. i’m not blaming matthew for that one! i know from firsthand experience that comic writing is different from anything else you will ever write, and is so difficult to get correct. as far as i knew, matt had never written for comics before! it would be really nice if he had some more resources to get this done right.

but that would cost money.

and that brings me to--

3. The Vox Machina Animated Series

wow! look at all that money everyone raised for this animated series. this animated series that the creators said they were raising money for so they could do it independently. hope they don’t go pitch it to a bigger company to do m--

and, it was sold to Amazon.

like, it didn’t even take them a month.

and in the current climate of how animation is bought and sold, i understand the need to sell it to a streaming service! you need a platform to let people view it, and youtube is in the shitter with its copyright stuff lately, so it makes sense to go private to keep your show safe. and then, you can maybe make more episodes after you run out of kickstarter money. i don’t hate that idea!

but amazon...hm.

it’s probably fine, right?

3.5. Wendy’s

haha remember when CR got sponsored by wendy’s and played their shitty rpg that wasn’t even balanced properly and then people called them out for it and then they donated all the money to a cause wendy’s hated to make up for it (good on them!) and then deleted the VOD off youtube? gosh, good times.

money makes people do strange things.

4. TAZ Animated Series

so, peacock has taz. sure! that works. it’s not the best company to pick this up, but it’s also not the worst. i’ll take that. i looked up the guy that’s slated to direct this and i don’t think he’s ever directed an animated show? which isn’t great, but that’s not what i’m worried about.

you know what i am worried about?

these big corporations don’t care if these adaptations are any good. they just want to cram as many iconic moments from your quirky, small-owned d&d podcasts to get you to give them money. for the mcelroys and the CR crew, it’s a passion project. to amazon and dark horse and NBC, it’s an investment.

you’re going to buy the book to see vax and vex bicker!

you’re going to tune in to watch magic brian!

you’re going to want to read pike meeting scanlan, of course!

you want to see “phantasmal and resplendent” animated!

here’s the other thing. when i see people talking about the animated series, this is exactly what they’re looking for.

“i want to watch merle dirty talk the plants on screen!”

“i want to see the taakitz date!”

“i want to see magnus do the julia scene...”

now, this mindset isn’t bad! no, if you’ve been thinking this, that’s okay! it’s really not my personal thought (i think adaptations are best when they DO change things in the story to better fit the new medium they’re going on) but it’s fine.

we might get tom arnold!

but you know what we’re not going to get?

we’re not going to get apologies and revisions when something goes wrong. we’re not going to get cute extra scenes because that would require more writing. we’re not going to get the same respect for the LGBTQ+ characters on screen. the people working on this show will not get paid what they’re worth.

we’re probably not going to get a trans actress for lup.

we’re probably going to see less of carey and killain.

we’re probably going to see even fewer black and brown characters than we already have.

why’s that?

because it’s a money project. they’re doing it for money. and they want to reach as wide of an audience as possible, right? “really, we need to cut back on this gay stuff so that straight people aren’t uncomfortable. we need to stay more moderate on this project so that more people will watch it!”

(that was sarcasm)

now, NBC has had some good shows! but that’s really the responsibility of their individual writers, and it’s usually in spite of the companies they work for, and not because of them.

once an author or an artist sells their project to a company for adaptation, they often lose all rights to input from it. i don’t know what the mcelroy’s or CR’s contracts are, but unless they have better lawyers than NBC or amazon.....they probably got shafted somehow.

it’s not a mcelroy product. it’s not a CR product. don’t pretend like it is.

you can enjoy it, but please be cautious. this is just a pile of money in a cheap taako costume. don’t trust it as much as you would the podcast.

tldr: individual creators are always going to make more genuine content than corporations that buy those creations for larger adaptations. it’s okay to enjoy these adaptations, but please be aware that it’s not going to have the same spirit or heart as the boys talking about masturbation on a filler show they did quickly so justin could go support his wife in labor.

#taz #the adventure zone #taz balance #taz animated

[happypeachwhispers]

Fries Meet Guys: ALEX HØGH ANDERSEN - I DIDN'T THINK I WAS A PERSON WHO SHOULD TALK ABOUT ANXIETY - Part Two: Performing, Friendship

Thank you for your patience, here’s the long awaited part two! Are you crying, cause I’m crying. He’s such a profound human being.

Taglist: @ivarsrideordie @tgrrose @shannygoatgruff @youbloodymadgenius @boltslightning @alexein13 @ivaraddict @jupiter-sagittarius

PART ONE HERE

PARTS THREE TO EIGHT

I was all over the place, like I always am, after all, and I enjoyed that experience a lot, it filled something inside of me. I always knew I needed something else. I sure was a pain in the ass for many people, but then I met a whole group of people just like me and I learned what acceptance means. What was percieved as “different” in my daily life became normal and I felt at home. I was certainly the most determined one, the first time at the Eventyrteatret I was the only one of 50 kids in the room who didn't live in Copenhagen and had to take a long trip to get there. It was so crazy and chaotic. It was so strange that they sang and danced, and then they all danced in sync into a song they prepared for the annual performance. Well, back then I thought it was weird, but a month went by and it became completely normal for me. “I'm one of you”.

It was a new experience. You suddenly started singing and dancing in Copenhagen, how was that recieved back at home in Skælskør?

I think it took some time for the people I used to hang out with to understand that. I have to say I may remember feeling a little bit out of place. But it also has to be said, I've always been pretty comfortable in school, honestly. I have never been the one who has been so unpopular or I have struggled extra hard, I think. So it was, maybe, a little bit difficult. It might have been hard for me not to be accepted anymore because I was accepted before. Their point of view wasn't the big challenge for me, I actually think it was more an internal challenge with myself, I could feel there was a completely different world. I didn't know anything about it but I just made room for myself and I discovered there was a part of me I had no idea was there in the first place.

Was it difficult to maintain frendships in school when you were busy driving back and forth between Skælskør and Copenhagen?

It has actually not been that bad in primary school. But I have to say in high school, yes, it was. I have some friends from high school I talk to every now and then, but no, I didn't maintain any close friendship. I basically lived a double life throughout high school, where I was either at the Eventyrteatret or I was shooting the advent calendar in Aalborg. So I was pretty much not there, my social life was in Copenhagen. I had a girlfriend there too. I just didn't feel the need for a social life in Skælskør. And the free time I had was pretty much all absorbed by my profession.

I think we can all relate.

Yes but usually Danish kids in high school when they have free time they wanna party, that's what happens when you're part of a group of friends in high school.

We have had some other guests in the studio who have had very different experiences. How is your situation friendship-wise in school at this point?

I had some friends in high school, in my class and in other classes, absolutely. But I spent almost all the time with the group of friends in Copenhagen, so I was not influenced by my high school mates and their choices that much. I've felt a lil bit different because I've had a double life. I mostly had different group of friends in relation to the activity I shared with them. The group of friends I acted with, the group I went to college with and then a small group I talk to from time to time mostly individually.

Do you have both female and male friends?

Yes, I do. I would say I have more male friends tho. It's a mixed bunch of ordinary people, both women and men.

Is the way you communicate with your female friends different from the way you communicate with your male friends?

Definitely. You have to be more of a listener, I'm pretty good at listening, I think you have to adapt and communicate in a different way based on who is in front of you. See, with men you talk a certain way, that sort of street style if you will.  It comes natural because that's the way you talk to each other since the first day you met. But when you have in front of you people who are pretty cool and you have to impress them, you just have to do this and that, and that's what it's needed. But I would like to be able to be honest, always. And it's not hard at all, I’ve been really good at surrounding myself with some really, really pleasant people. I can afford to be myself at all times and they can be one hundred percent themselves with me.

What does it mean to be your authentic self for you?

It means that one can afford to have not only a good day but also a bad one. To be able to be stupid and not have to be slaughtered for it. I can be weird and crazy and say some stupid things without having to go half an hour afterwards and hit myself in the head. These are little things that are so insanely hard to find. I'm very lucky. I can pretty much talk about everything with them, we are very very honest with each other. In January, I was in Tenerife with three of my friends, and we brought along our stories in the luggage. I was suffering from anxiety and I had a sore stomach, it lasted four months, I was finally getting better. Another friend of mine, he's extreme. The love game hits him immensely. The other one suffers from depression. He generally has a hard time figuring out what he wants and what he doesn't existentially. And then we have number four, thank God, he doesn't have the same big problems. He holds us all together. It was a great experience, I remember us four sitting around the table and talking while eating pizza with shrimps. We sat for three or four hours talking non-stop about nothing but our problems that one could imagine they are extremely taboo for other groups.

Did sharing with each other give you something on an emotional level?

Oh yes, absolutely. We support each other by sharing and it's awesome to have people you trust so much to share such personal issues with. And so I think in 2019 in today's Denmark, that's what it means to be a man. To be able to comprehend people and understand. I see instead a lot of carelessness and stereotypes.

Didn't you encounter those qualities in other men, as an adult?

No, not at all. It's not about stereotypes. We have just as many problems as everyone else and we are extremely worried about it financially and emotionally. Anxiety. Social education, existential issues. It can be anything. All my friends, all the people I have in my life, they all have problems to a greater or lesser degree. Absolutely. But that's what it means to be human. And that's what it means to be a man. It means you are making mistakes, you are imperfect. You are a fool, and you must be allowed to be a fool, and you will also stand on your own. You're going to hurt other people because you're human. But you must also be forgiven, and you must also be able to forgive. You just need care and understanding.

Were you able to find the care and understanding you need?

Alex groans – Yes and no.

Do I have to change subject?

Alex laughs – No, it's ok. I am open to recieve care. It's just that I stress a lot about my mistakes, your head plays games with you and you just have to survive.

You can't control everything you can handle, what a funny paradox. You describe yourself as a person who likes to take up a lot of space and fill a lot. And then I also sense that when it comes to emotions, for example, to take a seat and ask for help, then it's a whole different thing.

Yes, that's true. I don't know, I'm fucking complicated and I don't know how to handle it at all. I believe in nature and creativity. I have always had a lot of willpower and then I had my mother showing me the right path, then you grow up and learn to control yourself. But I have a hard time talking about it. I told you, I don't know. Yes, I am a human being who goes through a lot and thinks such extremely deep thoughts, I put all that in my creativity, in my work. That helps me. Then I have moments when I'm completely wrapped in my own thoughts, but I think, generally, I'm a relaxed person. I do my very best just not to do all that thinking and that takes a lot of effort. I won't let those thoughts get under my skin because I know all too well that it's not good for me.

END PART TWO

Ask me in messages if you wanna be tagged // Feel free to like, comment and share, thank you!

#podcast #translation #alex høgh andersen #interview

[conspirwbytheorist-inactive]

Some Cinder Thoughts

So I saw this post from @hoepunkausta a while back and was going to reply. Then I realized that this was the first time I’d actually sat down and taken a good look at Cinder and holy cow is there a lot to this character. Anyways, it got me thinking about Cinder's potential background and, while I've always seen her as a foil and tied to Ruby, I never realized how she could potentially tie in to ALL of team RWBY. Which is. . .pretty awesome from not only a narrative point of view but in regards to character redemption as well. Full take under the cut.

TLDR: If we assume Cinder’s backstory is in keeping with the popular version of the Cinderella tale, it ties-in to a lot of the our heroes’ traumas, giving each of them a reason to relate to her. Currently, Salem maintains control over Cinder by presenting herself as the fairy godmother, because were Cinder to see her as the stepmother she was, she would potentially leave. Were she to break away from Salem, recognizing her shared traumas with the members of Team RWBY could provide her with the connection needed to grow and heal as a person.

***Content Warning: Mentions of abuse/abuser tactics***

Intro

The post itself is pretty simple. Do we think Cinder came from an abusive background or do we think she came from a normal family that died under tragic circumstances before she met Salem? I’d always gotten the vibe that Cinder came to Salem searching for power after a life of rather horrific abuse similar to a more traditional Cinderella story.

The way she craves power, not just as a resource but as something she desperately needs for her own survival (her line about Pyrrha “taking her fate into her own hands” in V2 and the “I refuse to starve” of V7 come to mind), leads to believe that she came from a home that didn’t allow her much freedom or agency. She seems to know exactly what it feels like to not be in control of her own life and, now that she has found her escape from it (Salem), refuses to ever go back.

But how does this translate into ties to Team RWBY? She obviously has been foiled with Ruby, but the other 3? Kind of a big leap to make. Well, stick with me. Naturally, when thinking of a Cinder backstory, it makes sense to look at her main allusion, the Cinderella fairy tale.

A Cinder Story

Cinderella doesn’t start her story with an evil stepmother and step sisters. By most accounts she started out fairly privileged. With that in mind, imagine this woman, who we have come to know as a murdering power-driven villain, as a small child with seemingly everything she needed. A loving family, relative financial stability, decent social standing, etc. until one day, out of nowhere. Her mother dies. And suddenly she finds her world turned upside down. Her father remarries to a woman who loathes her and, who, after his death, does her best to control her, isolate her. Everyday she is told she is lesser than her sisters, meant to act as a servant. To cope with the difficult circumstances, she daydreams about a perfect place (in the main story, the ball/landed nobility but in Cinder’s case perhaps the opulence of Atlas) where if she can just prove herself good enough, endure enough pain, she can finally earn a happy ever after.

Now, what’s interesting here is that in just this bare bones outline of the Cinderella story, we touch on the key traumas of each of our four protagonists. Ruby and Summer’s death, Weiss’s isolation and molding under Jacques, Blake’s experience of racism as a faunus and abuse under Adam and Yang’s attempting to live up to Summer’s ideal to cope with abandonment. Which is really fricking cool because it means if ANY of this hypothetical backstory were to come to light, at least SOMEONE if not EVERYONE from the team has a potential point of empathy for where Cinder is coming from.

Something I love about RWBY is how it (for the most part) does its best to show how people are not inherently good or evil, but rather products of their circumstances and environment. So imagine the narrative and thematic potential of a villain for whom each of our cast could theoretically look at and think “Wow. That really could have been me” instead of “look at this monster”. A moment where they realize that, had things gone a bit differently, had they not been a position to cope with their traumas and actively choose to love instead of being engulfed by their pain and anger, they very much could have been this story’s villains rather than its heroes. A moment where, through Cinder, they concretely realize themselves as products of choice rather than destiny and, in that same vein, perhaps Cinder can see the same for herself.

Okay, but what about the Salem part? If we reduce “badness” all to a matter of choice ignores another key theme of RWBY: the importance of an awesome support network and team to back you up. At every point of the series our heroes have had someone to help them. Ruby had Yang and Qrow growing up before her team and JNR after Beacon, Weiss had Winter and Klein, Blake Ilia and Sun, and Yang had Ruby growing up and Tai after Beacon. But who did Cinder have to help her through her darkest times? No one. Except Salem.

The Case of the Fairy Stepmother

That brings me to the second part of the question: Is Salem the stepmother or Fairy Godmother? Honestly I think it’s both. The real question (and what I think will be the biggest obstacle for Cinder growing as a character) is how does Cinder see it?

In the Cinderella story, the Fairy Godmother and Evil Stepmother play opposing roles. Stepmother does all that she can to keep Cinderella underfoot and away from realizing her full potential as a person while the Fairy Godmother steps in when Cindy is at her lowest and uses her magic to give her all that she needs to get that “Happily Ever After”. In theory it should be impossible for one person to be both at the same time, but turns out it’s a matter of perspective.

Imagine Cinder at her lowest point. Maybe she was a no-name seamstress in Argus who daydreamed about being swept up into the glamour of the Atlas elite. Maybe she was a scared kid who saw becoming a huntress as her ticket out of poverty and into a life of adventure. Imagine her getting that wish of her own accord. Playing the game, doing everything right, biding her time until finally, she escapes - only to find herself trapped in a new way. (a Prince Charming who controls her as a plaything, a student not willing to be a child soldier, there are so many possibilities here). Only to see that the system was stacked against her in way where she could never escape it under her own power. That’s. . . a lot to process and a feeling of hopelessness that I think a lot of us can relate to (especially in our current world-state).

Then Salem comes in and not only promises Cinder the power to create her own destiny, but delivers it. Cinder goes from having almost nothing to magically receiving the means to accomplish anything she desired. All because of Salem. I see a lot of people question why Cinder is so loyal to Salem, but given this view, it’d be very difficult for her not to feel indebted to her savior in some regard.

Furthermore, Salem seems relatively fond of Cinder. She defends her from ridicule in Volume 4, goes out of her way to praise her strengths and, honestly, seems to have more patience with her than the rest of WTCH.  Given her backstory, I wouldn’t even be remotely surprised if what drew Salem to Cinder was the chance to give this angry young woman the power she wished that she had had prior to her curse. It’s almost. . . motherly. In a way I would expect a millennia old woman driven mad by isolation and Grimm Lakes and a very traumatized Cinder to view motherhood.

But, that doesn’t mean that the two have a healthy relationship. We as the audience see how Salem’s “love” comes at a price. She never hesitates to keep Cinder underfoot: oscillating between praise and threats of punishment, criticizing Cinder’s discomfort in Volume 4 as weakness, and making it clear that Cinder is only important to her insofar as her usefulness. The whole “Without you I am nothing” really illustrates how far out of her way Salem goes to make Cinder painfully aware that all that she has, all that she has accomplished is because of Salem’s magic. Salem hasn’t helped Cinder as a benefactor. A benefactor would let Cinder proceed to live her own life. Salem has instead taken advantage of Cinder’s lack of any support network and feelings of isolation to establish herself as Cinder’s sole source of support.

While we as an audience can see how abusive this dynamic is, Cinder can’t. Right now, she’s more or less fully embedded in Salem’s manipulation tactics - Salem’s narrative is her truth. And, even if she does come to see it (don’t think I missed the hints of resentment in the trailer), there’s nowhere for her to go. What can she do? Go rogue? The woman has an entire Grimm army! Turn to Emerald, Mercury, or Neo? They’re all either children or also in on all this! Just like the Stepmother, so long as Salem keeps Cinder feeling isolated, the chances of her escaping or changing remain slim.

Seeds of Support and Redemption

So, that leaves us with two things Cinder needs in order to break away from Salem:

Recognizing Salem as a controlling/toxic “Stepmother” figure instead of a  “Fairy Grimm-Mother” and that this is NOT what she wants out of life.

Finding connections/a support network she can go to after leaving

This is why Cinder having parallels to all of Team RWBY is so frickin cool. I’m still not 100% certain of a full Cinder redemption. Like, I love her as a character. But part of the reason I love her is that she is a hot mess who will go full ride or die no matter the situation. So getting her to even pause and go “is this what I want out of my life?” is probably going to take something pretty drastic to rattle her current convictions.

However, that being said, I find it really suspicious that the team would take a character that could be used to parallel the traumas of all four main heroes and just hang her out to dry. In a different show, I might think they could set her up with a death as a warning for our protagonists. But, that doesn’t make sense. Every possible warning I can think of motivating Cinder’s death is already being conveyed by another character. The dangers of falling to spite? Adam. Isolation causes only weakness and pain? Raven. Sacrificing humanity for the sake of power is a crap idea? Ironwood.

Instead, these seems like a great way to set up a situation where Cinder can find connection. After all, if our team could potentially look at Cinder and go “This could have been me”, what’s to stop Cinder from looking at them, seeing their pain and how they support each other, and going “Huh. Maybe this could be me?”. Especially if something radical has just happened to get her to want to break away from Salem for whatever reason. Maybe I’m just crazy, maybe I’ve been sitting on this too long, but I think that that would be really cool for a show about the power of love and connection to have its longest-term “villain” illustrate how, given support and humanity, victims of abuse can grow and find genuine connection with people.

#cinder fall #rwby #rwby analysis #rwby theory #cw abuse #cw mentions of abuse #This thing took me over a month to write #but i regret nothing #all of this is speculation btw #feel free to comment thoughts! #salem #salem rwby #long post

[im-the-punk-who]

Hi, I dont know if you read or know anything about Macchiavelli's "Il principe", but I am studying it in school and I cant help but compare it's fundamentals to how Flint leads. I'm just curious about what you think

Eekekekekekekekekekekkek okay so first off Anon, you are absolutely, 100% right to be getting those vibes. If it’s not actually textual it is at the least meta-textual that Flint ascribes to a very Machiavellian type of leadership. His whole ‘never was there a Caesar who couldn't sing the tune’ speech is...licherally a direct reference to Machiavelli's philosophy that leaders cannot retain their leadership without sacrificing some level of ethical behavior in order to manipulate and deceive their subjects into following them.

And, Flint owns at least two books from thinkers who drew directly on Machiavellian thinking in their texts: De Jure Belli Ac Pacis by Hugo Grotus and The Leviathan by Thomas Hobbes are both visible in Flint’s cabin, and both drew heavily on the type of leadership principles established in books like Il Principe. 

(Also, my eternal quest for the book that sits *under* The Leviathan in that scene remains. Y’all I will literally pay someone for this knowledge. My best guess is Plato’s De Republica.)

In fact, the whole system that Flint’s world was operating under at this time was very machiavellian in influence. 

Henry VIII, who converted to Protestantism and who would eventually lead England in the conversion from Catholicism to Protestantism that would then in turn eventually lead the country into the War of Spanish Succession(the war being fought during the London 1705 flashbacks), was a student of Machiavellian thinking. He took the teachings of Il Principe to heart and used them to transform his country. Over the next hundred and fifty years, England would change from an entirely Catholic country to a Protestant one. Of note, Catholic scholars generally disagreed with Machiavelli’s principles on the grounds that it did not support the Divine Right of Kings.

As well, the Enlightenment thinkers that influenced Thomas Hamilton(and Flint himself) were starting to argue more for personal liberty and choice of the governed, both concepts presented in Machiavelli’s writings. (For those following along, this approach was also being used to justify slavery, as what was ‘good for the state is good for the man’ was used as justification for everything from impressment to colonization and slavery. Men were willing to set aside their morals for what they justified as good for the state. Shrug emoji.)

As James says of England when he and Thomas view the hanging in London:

“You think Whitehall wants piracy to flourish in the Bahamas?”

“No I don’t think they want it but I think they’re aware of the cost associated with trying to fight it. And I think that that sound travels.”

Here we see that Flint knows what Thomas doesn’t or does not want to accept: that England is willing to sacrifice some morality and some amount of lives(both of pirate-prisoners and the ships they take) in order to save themselves the financial burden of rooting out the causes of piracy. The justification for piracy was that it is too costly to fight, and that the nation ultimately benefits from a bit of strife as it drives prices up and allows England to place within the sights of its citizenry an identifiable enemy. (Note that Blackbeard also argues the same of Nassau, that prosperity ‘made it soft’.)

Even as he is changed by Thomas’ line of thinking, this lesson will stick with Flint and we’ll see it over and over again as he deals with the men’s hatred of himself by redirecting them towards other avenues(Vane, Hornigold, England, etc.)

And in actuality, this is what sets Thomas very much apart from his political brethren - he was *not* willing to sacrifice his morals in order to achieve a ‘more effective’ victory. Once he realizes that moral deficit shown by England, he creates the pardon plan to argue directly for a more moral and just way of governance. His whole premise for the pardons was to show England that an approach that considered the needs and wants of the governed was ultimately more effective, both in cost and in gaining the genuine good will of the people. And again, this is another likely reason why Thomas was then targeted by Peter Ashe and his father. Railing against the entire system of government was dangerous. Particularly if one was railing against the government in a way that could be seen as support of an opposing system of religion and political rule(remember how I said before that Catholics were generally against the Machiavellian systems?) Put plainly, Thomas’ rejection of Machiavelli’s leadership tactics would have been yet another argument for his treason against the crown.

Interestingly also, Marcus Aurelius - Thomas Hamilton’s homeboy - is said to be one of Machiavelli’s five “good” emperors, of whom Machiavelli wrote,

“[they] had no need of praetorian cohorts, or of countless legions to guard them, but were defended by their own good lives, the good-will of their subjects, and the attachment of the Senate.”

How we tryna be.

And so we see that Flint has - not so much fallen back into England’s line of thinking but perhaps that he never really fell out of it. And that this is actually a rift in his potential ability to conform to Thomas’ line of thinking, assuming we see that line as more morally correct. We do see Flint, gradually, throughout the course of the show, move more away from this Machiavellian line of thinking, especially once he meets Madi and the Maroons.  And to me at least it’s one of the most important character shifts we see - in contrast to the trajectory of John Silver becoming Long John Silver  - throughout the series. Just as Flint is finally starting to really value the lives of those around him, Silver has learned how effective those tactics can be in achieving his goals. As Hands says - ‘I wonder if he knows how much you learned from him.’

And in fact, Silver almost directly quotes Machiavelli at one point when he talks to Flint about their different leadership styles.

“I once thought that to lead men in this world, to be liked was just as good as being feared, and that may very well be true. But to be both liked and feared all at once, is an entirely different state of being in which, I believe, at this moment, I exist alone.” 

Whereas Machiavelli in his chapters addressing cruelty and mercy writes

"Here a question arises: whether it is better to be loved than feared, or the reverse. The answer is, of course, that it would be best to be both loved and feared. But since the two rarely come together, anyone compelled to choose will find greater security in being feared than in being loved." 

This is clearly the approach Flint has taken - he is the most feared captain on the seas. Certainly in the colonial world and on Nassau, too, his name brings a certain amount of fear with it. Because of this he has been safe from rebellion for quite a long time - however he is also not unaware that his power comes from the people. In the very first episode he talks of his plan with Gates to “position people in all the right places so the crew would never turn.” He has, for an unknown amount of time but I would suspect from the very beginning, been manipulating the crew’s opinion of him to keep them happy. Gates himself, and Silver later, are prime examples. 

Both of them; Gates for the first ten years or so and Silver in seasons 2+3 act as a go between - being the ‘liked’ to Flint’s ‘feared’. They convince the crew - the ‘people’ in this case - that Flint’s plans are in their best interest and not truly the act of a tyrant. It is only when Flint forgets - or neglects to respect - that the will of his crew is how he keeps his power, that he really starts to fail. And, later also, that now he has a rival - Silver. 

Now, I do want to point out that personally I don’t think Flint is a needlessly cruel ‘ruler’ in the sense the crew sometimes thinks he is, nor is he trying to be as a king is to english subjects. He has power, of course, and he does manipulate, lie, and kill if necessary to maintain his power in accordance with Machiavelli’s principles, but he does not do so ruthlessly or to a degree that is unnecessarily violent, nor with only his own advancement in mind. His goals genuinely are in service of the people he leads, even if the tactics he uses sometimes put them in danger for it. Moreso, I would argue that Flint is a prince who created his own princedom. He took an existing power structure(the pirate council in Blackbeard, Hornigold etc) and took most of the power for himself, either through luck, violence, or political maneuvering. And then he kept it through skill and tactical advantage.

Silver, in contrast to Flint’s new princedom, is truly a ‘prince of the people’. He comes to power through convincing the other pirates that he has their interests at heart - even when he doesn’t. But Silver soon learns that being a well-loved leader is difficult. It isn’t until Silver kills Dufresne and Billy uses that fear to build a legend that ‘Long John Silver’ the pirate king comes into being. Silver learns, just as Flint knew, that in a world or corruption, often leaders need to make sacrifices of things they would have once deemed important. 

(I think it’s also important to note for Silver that his main goal is actually one Machiavelli writes of as being ‘a will of the people’. Silver’s main wish is not to rule, not really. His biggest motivator is ‘to be free’. To not have to make choices based on the will or subjugations of others. And so, he attempts to make the leadership forced upon him into something that frees him - unfortunately for him, Madi is right when she says that the ‘Crown is always a burden’ and it would be truly impossible for him to find the kind of freedom he wishes for while wearing it. Which, honestly, is part of why he ultimately fails in that regard as leader of the revolution.)

In the later seasons we see Flint go through this change in philosophy after he meets Madi and the Maroons. He begins to actually value the lives of the people he leads. When put to the choice of going through with the raid on the Underhill estate despite the risk it poses to the slaves on other plantations, Flint resists the idea. As he tells Madi - it would have cost them far more to ignore the ‘will’ of those people he hoped to lead - the slaves - than it would gain them to go through with the plan. And later, even though he can’t be blind to Max’s sway with Eleanor and the others, unlike Billy (and oh how the mighty have fallen, Mr. Bones!) he doesn’t even seem to consider keeping her rather than trading her for the lives of his other men. He no longer wants to trade a potential political victory for the suffering of those he leads. So, too, when he attempts to trade the cache for the fort, he is doing so with the goal being to not have to put those under his power in danger if there is another option. It is, at least to me, an incredibly moving character arc and one that is so very understated. 

And honestly, I think it’s what *needed* to happen before he could move on from his rage-hate bender and begin to find the sort of peace that one might argue those ‘good’ rulers had. Machiavelli’s principles tend to get in the way of your ability to connect with other people: when you see them just as pawns in a game, friends and foes lose their intrinsic value of just being important on an emotional level. It is only through learning to truly value his partners that Flint can learn how to be a better and more just leader.

Also, this passage in chapter 15 absolutely KILLS me in regards to both Flint, and Thomas Hamilton:

“Men have imagined republics and principalities that never really existed at all. Yet the way men live is so far removed from the way they ought to live that anyone who abandons what is for what should be pursues his downfall rather than his preservation; for a man who strives after goodness in all his acts is sure to come to ruin, since there are so many men who are not good.”

Like bitch!! We get it!! Too much sanity!!! Shut up!!!!!

Anyway, all this to say that you’re absolutely right in seeing parallels between Flint’s style of leadership and a Machiavellian prince - he is absolutely written as a prince-like leader. As are Silver, Rogers, even the Maroon Queen(and Scott and Madi as extensions of her) can be compared to certain rulers in Machiavelli’s archetypes. Even Thomas, who models himself after one of those ‘good emperors’ engenders a type of political leader Machiavelli writes about.

(Also lastly, i want to very quickly point out this guy, Cesare Borgia:

Who was a prince of ‘fortune’ who lost his princedom to trusting the wrong person. What a beard, amirite? What a face. He’s even got the rings! I’m sure this means nothing.)

So basically yeah, Flint is absolutely a Machiavelli bitch. 

#anyway talk dirty morally grey philosophy to me!!! #black sails #james mcgraw #captain flint #machiavelli #black sails meta #milos black sails meta #long post #Anonymous