#like the way some people are like haha yeah we all wanna die and leave it at that without really criticizing why or how

[kidsinsaturn]

Can I plz rq hcs for being married to both shisui and Madara? Like how would they be with their s/o, domestic vibes, etc?

uchiha bride

[🗼] yesss I love this idea!! I've been in the madara feelings lately hahah I wanted to post this yesterday but I ate way too many tamales I felt sick

characters: shisui uchiha; madara uchiha

genre: sfw

warnings: gn!reader; possessiveness; mentions of discrimination ?; mention of manipulation; stalking; obsessive traits

..

..

..

..

-shisui husband of the year!! hellooo, this uchiha is just so sweet and mindful of you all the time

-your wedding was probably very traditional although very small. both shisui and you didn't want a lot of people there. he is a very private man after all

-if you are not uchiha, you must learn all to their customs and their culture, im sorry. shisui may disagree with some of his clan's ideals, but he still finds some of them very important and he loves them

-but of course he will also be very very open to learning more about your clan's traditions and if your clan has something special (like a kenkkei genkai or a physical feature), he wants to learn all the history behind it

-as we all know, the uchiha can be a bit hostile to foreigners, so if you were of another clan or even another village, shisui can even feel a bit pitiful that you have to go through all of this because of his dumb clan

-he assures you all the time that you are the perfect person for him, regardless of the loud, rude words that you can hear on your way to his house. which may lead to shisui and you moving to a house a bit secluded from the others, but still in the compound

-yeah im sorry but I sincerely do not see shisui dropping his duties as an uchiha and as a villager of konoha just for you. yes he loves you tons, but he always manages to divide equally his commitments. he will stay in the compound because he is an uchiha and has his own obligations in the clan

-even though it was a bit hard at the beginning because you were expecting different, shisui will not treat you any different. as a boyfriend, he was the best the version of himself, and now as a husband, he still is the best version of himself. he believes he shouldn't treat his spouse worse or better just because they are married. he always gave his 200% ok

-very domestic husband although he is out for work a lot. there are times he feels guilty for leaving you alone too much, but he is a provider okayyy he needs to work hard enough so you have everything

-which is why he will try to convince you to stay home if you are a shinobi. if he succeeds, he is deeply happy and relieved that you are safe now. but if you decide to keep your job as a ninja, he just lectures you to always be cautious and blah blah blah he is just worried okay? he doesn't want to lose his boo

-shisui will come with you to the gates of the village to bid you farewell with the longest, knee-dropping kiss. you only wish to end the mission soon so you can come back to have another one of his amazing kisses

-on canon universe, you only knew half of what was happening with the village and the clan. but on his final day, he made time to tell you everything, and just love you one last time oh no im not ok

-other uchiha and of course other villagers would respect you a lot of course. you are the spouse of sunshin no shisui hellooo. people will know of you immediately since shisui was quite the popular in the village. and ohh!! I am convinced many girls would be jealous of you because you took shisui first aughhh I wanna elaborate on this idea more haha

-madara is the most sensible and sentimental uchiha out there istg. he does not fall in love, and if he does, then i'ts over for the person, either they die or they both get married

-no but seriously, I don't want to get too much into this, but I deeply believe canon madara would not really get married because he is way too traumatized and obsessed with peace and war and dreams. so let's pretend this is another kind of au where madara is kind of normal and sane

-as much as you both wanted a small, quiet wedding, you just couldn't get it. madara is the clan leader and let's not forget he has the most booming, extrovert, and simple-minded best friends so of course it couldn't be a simple wedding

-hashirama wanted your wedding to be very special, and even though it was a bit too extravagant for your first ideas, it ended up being very cute and nice. madara is deeply in love with you, and from now on, you become his

-not that wasn't like that before. you were his everything the moment he realized his wanted you, and you were his from that second too. it's just that now he can say it out and wouldn't be called weird haha silly guy

-you gained the title of madara's spouse and by no means is that to take unseriously. all the uchiha clansmen respect you, at least in front of you. if you were from a different clan, you are to be judged there sorry. at least they are not dumb and do not say it out loud, but there are still whispers and well-masked judgmental faces every time you walked through the compound

-madara decides it is best for you two to live in the compound, and you can't really complain since he is clan head. however madara makes sure you are satisfied every day. always obtaining what you want thanks to the servants madara assigned you. and of course when he is home with you, he is very attentive to you

-you are never alone. if you're in your house and if madara is not there, there is always someone there with you, either the housekeeper or your servant. if you are out, there is someone there following your every step. when you realize this, you get mad at madara. he promises he will stop though he only reprimands the shinobi for being too noticeable and replaces him

-you get to know two faces of Madera. the one he shows everyone else, and the one he is with you. at first you are a bit taken aback by his sudden changes of demeanor and personality. he is firm, dominant, and stoic in front of others, even of his clansmen. his essence is dominant. but with you? he still is but a lot less lol

-he just can't help it at first, he says some things so bluntly that they even hurt. but he learns that you are no enemy, that you are his temple, he shouldn't be harsh to you. he ends up being very soft, you become his weakness, if you say something, he complies

-BUT the only thing he can't get rid of is his possessiveness, you are his, why do you need to go with someone else? you have him, is he not enough? do you want him to make some shadow clones so he is always your first choice? madara doesn't like seeing you with a lot of people; he has a mental list of the only people he is okay with, please respect his list

-he always needs to know what you do, where you will be going and what you will do. if you don't dare to spare any details, he will find out himself, though he will be hurt and disappointed

-and lets be reals guys... madara will at some point, manipulate you. either he doesn't like something you're doing or someone you are seeing, he will be very subtle with his words and just guide you toward a decision he wants you to make. he isn't stupid and tells you right there, no. he wants you to feel some sense of control of your actions when in reality, he is in charge of them

-he is a great husband though lol a bit insane but he deeply deeply loves you. he fears somethings happens to you and that's why he wants to control your life

#shisui uchiha #madara uchiha #uchiha shisui #uchiha madara #shisui uchiha x reader #shisui uchiha x you #shisui x reader #shisui x you #Madara uchiha x reader #madara uchiha x you #madara x you #madara x reader #naruto

[memekais]

epic the musical sentence starters. the circe saga. feel free to change pronouns as needed!

puppeteer

i have something that i must confess, something that i must get off my chest. until it is said, i cannot rest.

there's only so much left we can endure.

whatever you need to say can wait some more - of that, i'm sure.

[name], back so soon? where's the rest of your crew?

we came across a palace. inside we heard a voice.

nothing could prepare us for the power that awaited inside...

sir, since we left home we've faced a variety of foes from a wide range of places - gods, monsters, you know the roster, hostile creatures that we could resist.

this was a hell of a twist, cause we are weak to a power like this.

welcome to the best part of your lives.

go ahead and rest wherever you like.

i got you, don't worry [name]'s got you now.

i bet you're tired from the years spent on your feet.

think of your past and your mistakes.. they'll be the last mistakes you'll make.

i got all the power, yeah, i got all the power.

no, i'm not a player, i'm a puppeteer.

they transformed... and it wasn't quick.

this is the price we pay to live.

the world does not tend to forgive.

look at all we've lost and all we've learned, every single cost is so much more than what we've earned.

think about the men we have left before there are none.

let's just cut our losses, you and i, and let's run.

i can hardly sleep now knowing everything we've done.

there's no length i wouldn't go if it was you i had to save. i can only hope you'd do the same.

what if she can't be killed? will you choose to leave?

no one will find their way between my nymphs and i, their loving queen.

it's a game of wits but you don't have to play.

wouldn't you like

i must say what a brilliant speech you gave.

you wanna beat her? you'll need the blessing of a certain god.

[silly little laugh]

wouldn't you like a taste of the power? wouldn't you like to use more than words?

deep in the night the fight lasts for hours.

you can be hurt or you can beat her.

wouldn't you like to have some of thе magic? wouldn't you like your outcome prefеrred?

deep in the night the fight can be tragic.

i'll help you conquer her.

she can turn you into an animal that'll end up on her plate. she can all but make you fall in love like you're on your hundredth date!

she can conjure up a monster that'll grind you to the bones.

she has all the ways to haunt ya when you take her on alone.

here in the root of this flower, there lies such a power to take her on.

don’t thank me friend, you very well may die. haha, good luck!

done for

i sent out some scouts to take a look around through here and they wound up at your door.

through the years we seldom get a warm welcome, so i must ask just to be sure... did you do something to them?

all i did was reveal their true forms.

i don't know who you are nor why you're here but let me make this one thing clear: i've got people to protect, nymphs i can't nеglect so i'm not taking chances, dear.

if you makе one wrong move, then you're done for.

anything i don't approve, then you're done for.

i could put a spell on you and you're done for.

boy, you better run or soon you will done for.

i don't mean to tip your scale but you will fail at placing any spells on me.

you better cower now and flee.

you must be a liar. mortals can't acquire moly without dire consequence.

then i must be a god like you cause i got this root from the ground with my bare hands.

you and i are now evenly matched. our fates are intertwined, they're attached.

i've got people to protect, friends i can't neglect so now there is no turning back.

you've made your one wrong move, now you're done for.

i will be the one to prove that you're done for.

not even a spell saves you, cause you're done for.

the last time we let strangers live, we faced a heavy loss.

you've given me no reason to bestow you with my trust.

everyone's true colours are revealed in acts of lust.

there are other ways

there are other ways of persuasion, there are other modes of control...

there are other means of deceit, there are other roads to the soul...

there are other actions of passion you have so much left to learn.

want to save your men from the fire? show me that you're willing to burn.

who's to say with the mistakes i've made that they will be the last mistakes i ever make?

there is so much power but there's puppet here.

this is the price we pay to love.

i'm just a man, forgive me.

back at home, my wife awaits for me.

she is my everything, my [name]... and she is all my power.

the god of tides is out to end my life.

so i beg you, [name], grant us mercy.

let us puppets leave.

there might be a way to evade him, there might be a way to get home though this other way’s very dangerous.

it might be your one final hope.

i can’t get you home, but I’ll get you to the underworld instead.

maybe showing one act of kindness leads to kinder souls down the road.

i remember actions of passion... i have been in love once before.

maybe one day the world will need a puppeteer no more.

maybe one day the world will need a puppeteer more.

#rp meme #rp prompts #ask meme #rp sentence meme #rp sentence prompts #rp sentence starters #prompts #meme #sentence starters

[sage-nebula]

Just wanna say, I love your tags sm on my post!!! I find it so fun to pull comparisons with both zinnia and volo because they have like. A similar character skeleton. Or whatever that means. They're so different yet their relation to their respective deity definitely feels, as u said, 2 sides of the same coin.

And 100% agree with the last comment- I only started thinking about their similarities when I realized how much of the fandom dislikes zinnia and how much of the fandom likes volo qq

Ahh thank you so much!! I'm so sorry I'm responding to this so late, I am just awful about actually sitting down at a computer lately unless it's for work . . . and my work network doesn't allow me to access tumblr because I'm employed by haters 😔 but I'm glad you appreciated the tags! I remember I was actually a bit hesitant about leaving them because I didn't know if they would be Too Much or not, so I'm glad that wasn't the case, haha.

And yeah, Zinnia and Volo definitely foil each other in many ways. What's really interesting about it as well is that, unlike Volo, Zinnia was actually rebuffed by her deity to her face, when it came to a destiny she was literally raised for, which we know since her flashbacks in her Evolutions episode show that she was training to catch Rayquaza as part of her Lorekeeper destiny since she was a young child:

She could arguably be a little older in that second flashback, but not by much. So Zinnia was raised to be the Lorekeeper since her childhood. Her life's purpose was not only know and be able to pass on the history of her people, but also to be able to mega evolve Rayquaza and, together with it, destroy the meteor that would threaten the planet. She knew that doing this would likely result in her death (indicated at multiple points in her dialogue), but she was so devoted to doing it that she went through it anyway. And she managed part of it; she did manage to summon Rayquaza.

And then . . . Rayquaza rejected her. To her face. In favor of some random (by comparison) kid.

By all accounts, Zinnia had every right to be furious. Her deity has rejected her in favor of some rando when Zinnia devoted her entire life (and was willing to sacrifice her life) to it. But is she furious? Does she take it out on May? No. We know that she's lowkey suicidal (some of her dialogue suggests she's almost hoping she'll die in the effort to stop the meteor so that she can be reunited with the original Aster in the afterlife), but she still takes it in stride because the most important thing is that the meteor is stopped. So she helps the rando as much as she can, and then leaves to figure out what she can do with this life she didn't expect to have.

Then, on the opposite end, there's Volo. Volo, as far as we know, was never raised with any special destiny in mind. To be fair, we really don't know anything about Volo's backstory except that it's heavily implied he's a descendant of the Celestica people. But that's it. We're never told that he had a destiny to fulfill alongside Arceus. Instead, Volo himself decided that he was going to summon and meet Arceus, and Volo himself decided he was going to summon and meet Arceus wholly for his own reasons, and Volo himself never actually came face to face with Arceus, and took that as a rejection, and then tried to murder the random kid Arceus chose over it, as if it's that random kid's fault.

It really is the complete opposite in every way. Zinnia had every reason to believe that Rayquaza would agree to work with her, yet when it refused, she took it in stride and did what she could to help. Volo had no reason to believe that Arceus would want to work with him, and when it refused, he absolutely lost his shit and tried to murder a child. There's a reason why Zinnia got closure by forming a sync pair with Rayquaza in Pokemon Masters and why I'm pretty damn sure Volo is not going to get the same treatment with Arceus, lmao.

And don't get me wrong, I love both characters. Personally, I hope Volo never gets better. Don't get me wrong, if his motivation is supposed to be that he wants to make a world where his people and culture were never lost and where Hisui was never colonized, then I do think that's a sympathetic motivation, and certainly I came away from PLA thinking that Kamado was more despicable than Volo, mostly because the game treated Kamado like a sympathetic, misunderstood man despite his blatant bigotry toward the DP clans. But Volo is at his best when he is absolutely off his shits and I want him to stay that way. Like the fact that he actually tried to murder the player is iconic. Love that energy for him. Keep it coming.

But that doesn't change the fact that, yeah, he is off his shits. And any sympathetic motivations we can give him are headcanon because Game Freak didn't feel the need to elaborate. And more importantly (and to the point of your second paragraph), yeah, it really gets me that people are constantly vilifying Zinnia (including downright calling her a villain) for trying to save two worlds and ultimately bowing out gracefully when her destiny was stolen from her, yet fawn all over Volo or Lusamine. I'm sure the fact that Zinnia is a darker skinned woman (as opposed to the the blonde hair and pale skin of the others) has nothing to do with it. [/heavy sarcasm]

Anyway, this is a very long (and late) reply. I'm a very verbose person, haha. But thanks again, especially for giving me the chance to talk more about this; I appreciate it! 💜

#pokeattorney #lorekeeper zinnia #trainer volo #again i love volo. man is absolutely off his shits and that's so entertaining #but this fandom does have a tendency to treat darker skinned characters . . . badly #and Zinnia has the double whammy of having darker skin (esp depending on the art) AND being a woman #and the way the fandom treats her unfortunately REALLY shows it

[dream-meister-translations]

DREAM MEISTER & THE RECOLLECTED BLACK FAIRY

PASSIONATE OCEAN GUILD STORY #1

━

URBANO : Alright, this meat's cooked! Here Emma, have some! 

EMMA : Thank you, Urbano. This meat is incredibly delicious!! 

ELMA : The old man from the town's butcher shop gave it to us for free. All I said was I'm gonna be having a barbecue and he was like, "take it." 

EMMA : You're a networking pro, Elma! 

SEARLE : Ooooh~! I want some of that meat too!

URBANO : Hey, get your paws off it! That meat was for Emma! It's what I call, "Urbano's Ultra Special Steak!" 

EMMA : How is it ultra special...?

SHEILA : It's ultra special because he made it for you, Emma. He said that he wanted to express his gratitude toward you. It is the season of love, is it not?

ELMA : Yup! This barbecue is also to express our gratitude to the people who joined Passionate Ocean! 

SHEILA : I'm good at making seafood dishes, but today I'll leave the steak to Urbano.

ELMA : We also made some Granita~! Eat as much as you want~!

EMMA : Hehe, alright. Thank you! 

SHEILA : I thought you were going to invite the locals to the barbecue, Elma? 

SEARLE : Barely anyone showed up.

EMMA : It was supposed to be an event to invite people to join Passionate Ocean...

ELMA : Yeah, I guess there wasn't a lot of interest. But, it's okay! This is fun too! So all's well that ends well! Let's make sure it's a lot of fun for the few people who did show up, kay~?

SHIELA : Haha, your carefree attitude is admirable. 

ELMA : I'm gonna go on a little patrol to make sure there are no disturbances! 

SEARLE : I'll go too~!!

EMMA : ........

SHEILA : You look like you're enjoying the peace.

EMMA : Hehe, you can tell?

EMMA : (I think the stock of alcohol is somewhere around here...)

GUY 1 : Hey! You're adorable~

EMMA : Huh...?

GUY 2 : I've been trying to talk to you this whole time, but those surfer guys are really protective of you, you know~?

EMMA : (Looks like he's pretty drunk.)

EMMA : I'm sorry. I'm working right now.

GUY 2 : Don't be so cold~ I just wanna have some fun~★ 

GUY 1 : What we have in mind is WAY more fun than work~

SHEILA : You two want to have some fun, you say? In that case, we'll entertain you until you die laughing.

GUY 1 & GUY 2 : Eeek!!

URBANO : Don't go troubling our precious Guild Keeper, got it?

SEARLE : It's not good to get drunk and bother others!

ELMA : We're not into your kind. But if you really wanna join Passionate Ocean, we'll give you guys some "special training" later, how about that?

URBANO : Haha! We won't let you out of the ocean! 

GUY 1 & GUY 2 : Helppp~!!

ELMA : Ah, they ran away. You okay, Emma?

SEARLE : We were all so worried~! After you went to check the alcohol stash, those guys followed you and we knew they were up to no good!

URBANO : Yeah, I had a bad feeling about it, so we all came back. It was the right call. Did they do anything weird to you?

EMMA : You guys showed up just in time, so I'm fine. Thank you so much.

SHIELA : Why did you take the initiative to check on the alcohol when you could have asked us?

ELMA : Emma, you gotta be careful, y'know? There are people out here who just wanna ruin your fun. I want today to be fun for you! You always work so hard for us, you deserve to relax.

SEARLE : I want to see Emma smiling~!!

SHEILA : After what just happened, try not to stray too far from us.

URBANO : If anything happens I'll protect you!! 

EMMA : (These guys are all so protective...It's kinda embarrassing, but it also feels really nice.)

EMMA : Thank you!

#Otome #Yumekuro #Yumekuro Translations #YMKR translations #YMKR #Dream Meister Translations #Otome Translations #Dream Meister And The Recollected Black Fairy #Dream Meister And The Recollected Black Fairy translations #oceanguild

[ourflagmeansgayrights]

MAJOR OFMD S2 SPOILERS!!

talkin' about the most recent leaked audition tape below the cut!

so we now have the leaked archie audition tape, archie being one of the two probable s2 lesbians and who will be played by madeleine sami (who is not actually the woman in the audition tape, for those of you who are also faceblind like me lol). i want to talk about the first scene from the audition tape

it's hard to tell what's going on, since it sounds like there's at least three characters in this scene and two of those characters are being read by someone off-screen. but here's a rough transcript of that scene:

READER(CHARACTER 1?): Let me die you cunts! Archie: Woah, hey! Easy on the c-word, compadre. That word just—makes me feel really uncomfortable READER(CHARACTER 2?): Sorry, man, we got orders. ARCHIE: Bite down on this. [HOLDS OUT BELT] READER(CHARACTER 1?): Bite down on my nob you bugging twat! ARCHIE: ...Okay. [ARCHIE SMACKS THE BELT ONTO A TABLE OFF-SCREEN, POSSIBLY KNOCKING CHARACTER 1? UNCONSCIOUS] ARCHIE: Um, do you think you could do the honors? Cause I’m—I’ll be honest I’m more of a, um, stabber than a chopper. I don’t love chopping. [SMACK NOISE FROM SOMEWHERE OFF-CAMERA, PRESUMABLY THE CHOPPING] ARCHIE: Ooh, haha, ugh. Icky. Icky yucky. READER(CHARACTER 2?): Well that was um, that was intense. ARCHIE: Haha. Super intense, eh? Superrr intense. [LONG PAUSE, ARCHIE MAKES PROLONGED EYE CONTACT WITH PERSON OFF-CAMERA] ARCHIE: [WHISPERS] Do you wanna...? [ARCHIE GRINS AND RUNS OFF-CAMERA]

so, obviously we have to take scenes from auditions tapes with a grain of salt. like, i doubt this is finalized dialogue. it's possible the plot has changed in some way since casting the role of archie. and also, again, it's kind of hard to really tell what's going on

but from what i can see, here's what i personally think is going on:

izzy is character 1

izzy is getting something amputated. probably his foot or part of his leg.

izzy calls the people in the room "cunts"

archie expresses discomfort with the word "cunt"

izzy then calls her a bugging twat

archie knocks him unconscious

the other person in the room proceeds to chop off izzy's body part

archie and the other person in the room... get horny from this? and leave to go hook up

(that last one tracks with the next scene, where it sounds like ed is making archie and another person fight to the death because "all love dies." this could be the same person who did the "chopping" in the scene above.)

and again, we don't know for sure that this is what's going on here! the plot might change, and it's kinda hard to tell who's saying what. but here's my main takeaways from this bit:

1. this scene is meant to be funny

unlike the toe scene, this scene seems tonally in-line with lucius's amputation scene in s1e06. just like how roach saying "knives are knives, meat's meat" was meant to be funny, archie's "icky, icky yucky!" is meant to be funny. it's also meant to be funny that and then she makes bedroom eyes at the person behind the camera and they presumably go hook up, after just having chopped a body part off izzy.

and yeah, that's pretty gross and fucked up! yknow what else is fucked up? the nose jar. lucius cutting off his own finger. making a turtle fight a crab. beating each other up for "vacation." lighting people on fire. turning people into furniture. "making some poor bloke eat his own toe for a laugh."

the show treats stuff like this as funny. this is nothing new. this should absolutely not be a surprise to anyone. izzy's foot (or other body part, but most likely his foot as a result of an infection) getting cut off in a comedy scene is very on-brand for this show.

2. izzy's misogynistic language is given a female target

izzy's probably delirious and feverish from his infection, just like lucius was in s1e06. interestingly enough, lucius did not call anyone misogynistic slurs when he was delirious and in pain. and lucius especially didn't call anyone a misogynistic slur after they told him they were uncomfortable with the first misogynistic slur he called them.

yeah, izzy's probably delirious in this scene. but the writers who wrote this dialogue probably weren't. in this scene, a woman expresses discomfort with being called a misogynistic slur, and when izzy then tells her to "bite down on my knob you bugging twat" she proceeds to hit him, possibly knocking him out. this is not the final cut of the show, so this scene might play out differently on screen, or maybe this scene will be cut altogether. but i think there's three possibilities for what this means for izzy's character arc in season 2:

they cut this scene entirely and we never see izzy say sexist slurs to a woman at any point in season two. if/when he continues to say "twat" or "cunt" it does not get called out

izzy gets the same feminism 101 arc that black pete got in season 1

the story punishes izzy for using sexist slurs but he doesn't have any character growth about it. izzy getting body parts chopped off becomes a running gag.

and on a smaller scale, here's what i think it means for this scene alone, provided that the final cut of the show has similar dialogue:

the writers chose to have izzy call a woman a cunt to her face because they want to make it clear that he is the butt of the joke in this scene

this is different from lucius's amputation scene, where he was still the butt of the joke but he was portrayed more sympathetically. this decision to write izzy less sympathetically was done deliberately.

3. medical inaccuracy in ofmd is alive (lol) and well

bro they literally just leave him there. like they chop a body part off this man and then leave him there. they don't stitch him up or anything they just leave his unidentified body part as a bleeding stump. whatever they cut off is probably still on the goddamn table.

this shit is hilarious i love this show so fucking much.

#ofmd #our flag means death #ofmd s2 spoilers #ofmd meta #izzy hands #archie #txt #meta #mine #og #link #s2 predictions #amputation tw #i guess idk #dizzy izzy #ofmd s2 speculation #the lesbians #i love making metas for a season we know almost nothing about! #anyway believe it or not this is my attempt at being neutral abt izzy #im laughing at The Jokes and im theorizing about how maybe he will have a positive character arc #but also i am just reading this scene based on the evidence we have. and based on this evidence the show is treating izzy like a joke here

[whyareyouhere66]

Haikyuu Characters as Quotes From My Life

S O

Basically, this chapter is just some of the Haikyuu characters as quotes that me, my friends, and even some of my classmates have said. Yeah, it's simple as that. They don't really make sense *the quotes*, even with context so yeah lol.

----

-*-* "Christian Grey may be 50 shades of fucked up- but I'm 50 shades of 'I'm gonna whoop your ass" -Kuroo

-*- *"I think I have a crush on Pennywise." -Tanaka

-*-* "If only men had brains and balls, at the same time." -Kiyoko

-*-* "No Im not gonna eat my cat, I'm not a cannibal." -Nishinoya

-*-* " I look like a warthog and have the personality of a she-devil." -Yamamoto

-*-* "See, I told you Megan, my boobs are getting bigger." -Asahi

-*-* "Do you have gum in your pocket or are you just excited to see me?....I think you're excited to see me." -Oikawa *to Iwaizumi, most likely*

-*-* "Tell me a good song- and we're not listening to the trolls soundtrack." -Ushijima *talking to Tendou*

-*-* "If I write my essay about Fortnite and global warming what will I get?" -Bokuto

-*-* "I once had a guy walk up to me at target and he was like 'wanna buy some ball wash?'" -Terushima

-*-* "Ryan Reynolds is hot." -Ennoshita

-*-* "Jeff Bezos would be a great drug dealer." -Kenma

-*-* "Ugh that's nasty....gonna give us fricking herpes..." -Akaashi

-*-* "HE HAD TWO GLIZZIES" -Bokuto

-*-* "It looks like pennywise could crawl out of that things butthole." -Hinata

-*-* "I just got winky faced by Kahoot." -Tsukishima

-*-* "I'm gonna get fax paper, and make cards that say "we give free bj's" and tape it on peoples doors." -Kuroo

-*-* "If I have to listen to another minute of JoJo Siwa I will lose my mind." -Daichi

-*-* "YOU CLOSED MY DUOLINGO TAB?!" -Nishinoya

-*-* "Can any orgasms so photosynthesis...?" -Kageyama

-*-* "My shoulder is no longer a virgin." -Yamaguchi

-*-* "Don't change, we hate you just the way you are." -Iwaizumi

-*-* "Mom can you leave so I can curse at my friends?" -Sugawara *talking to Ukai*

-*-* "We thought there was cum in the bathroom." -Tanaka

-*-* "I don't like purple, I like ducks" -Hinata

-*-* "The bible is not smut, bitch." -Kenma (I'm sorry if anyone finds this offensive-)

-*-* "Mort I cannot 'move it move it' anymore" -Yamomoto

-*-* "They kill pears- that's why it's so sad. But pineapples stay alive, pears just- die!!" -Bokuto

-*-* "Not gonna lie man but your toes are...dry." -Tanaka

-*-* "That's like going up to a police officer holding up a bag and going, "hey can you step outside for a minute, go down and get some coffee, I should be done in about 15 minutes?" -Kindaichi

-*-* "I swear to god I will turn this- this navy blue van around!!" -Daichi/Ukai

-*-* "Nah he's got little-man-itis." Tsukishima *talking about Hinata, ofc*

-*-* "Don't we have a leader in the real world?" *Bokuto, continue to next quote *

-*-* "Yeah we've got Michael Jackson." -Kuroo *that one was a 2-parter haha*

-*-* "YOU'LL BELIEVE GOD IS A WOMENNNN- is that vodka??" -Nishinoya

-*-* "It's probably like, burnt fire or something." -Oikawa

-*-* "Why do you not like shirtless men." -Tanaka

-*-* "I'm gonna start a petition to make Boston a continent....or maybe New Jersey." -Hinata

-*-* "We've known eachother since the 1800's- we went to Travis Scott concerts with George Washington." -Tanaka *talking abt Yamamoto*

-*-* "Dame cabeza" -Tanaka

-*-* "No one likes Jacobs, Jacobs are ugly and raspy." -Tsukishima

:D

K great, so anyways-

Idk that's all I got rn, y'all got a free glimpse of my strange friends and even stranger school. Hope you enjoyed and adios

edit: holy shit this blew up a lot faster than I expected- thanks so much y’all

#haikyuu #haikyuu x reader #bokuto koutarou #tsukishima kei #kuroo tetsuro x you #akaashi keji #hinata shōyō #nishinoya yu #tanaka ryuunosuke #daichi sawamura #sugawara koushi #kageyama hikaru #oikawa tōru #ushijima #tendou satori

[youraveragerat]

‼️‼️this is not my art y'all all credits go to the artist pls here's the og post from them I'm just using it as a reference to make a point ‼️‼️

https://pin.it/4jOW5apc8

But OH MY LAWDD I CANT THUG THIS ONE OUT

Lowkey? Hate the light fury

Lowkey? Hate httyd homecoming

Lowkey? Hate httyd 3 and everything made after it

Need I say less?

Nah in all seriousness tho I hate how they just disregard hiccup and Toothless' bond in the 3rd movie and beyond.

TOOTHLESS TOOK ON AN ALPHA BEWILDERBEAST TO SAVE HICCUP?? THAT'S HOW MUCH THEY'VE BONDED. Their whole dynamic is that there are one together. But the second we see slim, smooth, glitter lady dragon we out ✌️

This is why I rlly didn't like the light fury. I rlly like the idea of a night fury subspecies. I really like the idea of those two species making a mixed species. They all had the right parts but they put them in the wrong places and it just... Doesn't work for me idk. Hiccup is this whiny guy who can't stand his best friend leaving, which is understandable but the way they portray him makes him look like Ralph from wreck it ralph breaks the Internet. Just an annoying character. And toothless is just horny for lady dragon. UR TELLING ME HE DID THE LIGHTNING THING WITH HICCUP ON HIM? HE DOESNT KNOW IF THAT WOULD KILL HICCUP?? He was just so desperate to save the babe. Like thank God hiccup didn't die?? In the second movie toothless risked his life for hiccup in a way no dragon had done before. In the third movie toothless RISKED Hiccup's life just to make some glitter babies

I just - idk it's weird to me I rlly don't like the hidden world

Yeah the animation is nice but even then they took the character designs and airbrushed them to look like they wash everyday. Need I remind to you THEY'RE VIKINGS?? THEYRE DIRTY. THEY'RE ROUGH. WHERE DID HICCUP'S FRECKLES GO?? WHY DOES ASTRIDS HAIR LOOK LIKE THE SILKY SMOOTH HAIR OF AN ANGEL? in the first movie they look rough and Viking like. Hiccup doesn't look like a Viking because he's a wimp and they portray that without beautifying him and making him pretty. In the 2nd movie they do this a little less but I can still tell that these people aren't models.

I could go on and on tbh but I'm not gonna contaminate my account with more httyd slander so hehe haha. I'll rant to people who wanna listen in Dms cause I CANNOT thug this one out 🙏

#httyd #httyd slander #httyd the hidden world sucks low key #how to train your dragon #rant #HRNGGG

[thetruemek]

think I just might have killed myself with Knoppers Riegel. rip, insert chestburster scenes 1-12, it is half past 10 pm good night everyone sorry no open casket I might jump out and attack someone lmao also the aquarium was overrun today on the day I didn't have a lot of classes and I really wanted to go but then the coat check was before??? the ticket guy and I was like hey sorry I only got big mula. so she's like oh you could pay for your coat when you leave instead?, i'm like lol yea sure and turn to the ticket guy with my mula who's like nah sorry bitch, tickets only AT THE FUCKING ZOO ENTRANCE and im like but but but I already gave the lady my jacket why- what- UGH FINE aight

walk out of the aquarium, cursing myself for not simply buying a ticket online like last time but then again I wasn't rly sure if I wanted to go today- anyway, it's fine, everything's FINE we'll just get the fucking ticket from the zoo's main entrance and OMFG WHY'S THERE LIKE 40 PEOPLE IN LINE???

it's STILL fine I'll just wait a little in the cold, no jacket, jup, 's cool, imma tough noodle yuppp. 15 minutes later I finally get to the ticket booth and sigh, relieved: one (small tiny almost childlike could've probably passed for 15 lol) adult ONLY for the aquarium (because the prize combined with the coat check would've been the 3xact amount I had on hand) cashier lady is just like "yeeeaaaah no, we all booked out bitch, new tickets in about an hour lmao"

me, on the verge of tears, the icy wind biting into my cheeks almost mockingly now: "haha aight guess no aquarium for me this week lol byyyyeeee" head back to the aquarium and the coat check, barreling my way trough the exit because I unsubscribed from waiting in line for the next year thank you, look at the lady and just press out: "hey uh yeah, can I have my jacket back??? They don't have any more tickets and I just wanna go."

when I tell you this bitch had the AUDACITY to look at me as if I SOMEHOW, MIRACULOUSLADYBUGLY COMMITED SOME SORT OF CRIME, before handing me my fucking jacket to protect me from the harsh elements to trudge back to my hotel room and mope for the next 6 hours before binging myself to death and (hopefully) falling asleep soon....

Yeah, sorry, no fish-pics for you this time guys, sorry

Imma die now

#mek garbles #kinda vent #but mostly lol #felt like everytime i left my room today something STOOPID happened #the berlin tales

[silvaurum]

taking a communication class for my psych major & some therapy stuff has me considering. the way i approach communication and what i believe Other People find valuable & likeable. the image for me, is 'be cool', to be laid back. to be the opposite of needy, clingy, annoying. not to interrupt. to never bother others with interruptions or ideas they might not like, but to always be up for what they want. to be cool with it, whatever 'it' is, to be chill with anything.

which is, actually, to be totally passive in all my relationships. to never suggest anything or take initiative, because i could be turned down but moreso because that initiative could be unwanted, and if i Annoy someone with Unwanted suggestions, they will Super Fucking Hate Me and i be Enraged and i will have to cower and laugh it off like my suggestion was totally stupid nevermind haha i'm so sorry nevermind whatever you want is good, way better than mine, yeah, no totally i'll just stay here while you cool off, have fun! i love you i'm sorry no totally i love you, sorry. <- the trauma

which is, also, like, when i take it out of the trauma context and tone it down to just normal 'total passivity'. and i can ask myself. ok do i actually want that? do i actually want to just passively wait and hint to people that i want to do things and hang out but never suggest or plan anything because it might be unwanted or rejected? do i want to just sit and hope that people like me enough to always be the one to reach out first? do i want to be completely passive in all my relationships and only do things when other people initiate?

😐

no. fuck that! no!

so. i am both:

A.) i really want to initiate more stuff and to like, get practice with reaching out so i can feel confident with my friends. and make new ones. and have new experiences. and to... i don't know, actually have the experiences i want to have without sitting around pining for them forever in the hopes that someone will read my mind and or i will magically gain the confidence to ask for it.

&

B.) oh dear god i can not survive if anyone gets mad at me, they will Kill Me, i will die of their rage, or if not they will never speak to me again because i will have broken the fundamental social rules that allow them to tolerate me (??) or allow me to be in their presence as a faux-equal (???) instead of the. sub- and un-human that i secretly really am (?????) and will be revealed to be if i Annoy Them, by asking if they Like Me enough to ""Hang Out"" (😐?🤨?)

which. i am working on B in therapy already and have been for a while, and i am slowly improving and gaining confidence and self-worth and esteem. but, also. hm.

because the truth is i want to blow up my whole life sometimes and be an uberslut and not fuck with anybody and ditch all my responsibilities and move away across the country without talking to anybody just go 'bye' and fuck off and leave. because i'm really tired of the responsibilities i have. i'm really tired of the ruts of my longer term relationships. i'm sick of my dad. i'm sick of caregiving when it feels like i... don't have much of a say. if i were to go 'hey you know what, no, i don't wanna fucking do this, i know it's easier for You to have me work & clean & cook in exchange for him paying rent and insurance and maybe it IS easier for me too, but it sure doesn't feel like a deliberate choice i made! it just kinda feels like you assumed i would do this forever! things just kinda 'fell into place'! in a really convenient way for you!

and that's like. a big manifestation of the passivity problem. is that. that's how we. that's how he ""communicates"" too. with everyone. we don't talk about it, except when we mention it, so he can go 'boy this is great, thank you' and i can go 'haha yeah 😐 it does have its perks! 👍🏼'

but also. he is one of the reasons my reaction to the idea of 'active conversation' is 'oh god what if someone gets mad at me. absolutely not', although he is definitely Not the only, or for much of my life main reason for that, he is a contributing factor. and he's been pissy lately because of, he claims and i assume, brain fog from cancer and pain and stress about getting older, and everyone around him getting older. he also doesn't have any friends. bc as i said. he also communicates so utterly passively 90% of the time that it's. difficult to communicate at all with him. and the other 10% is his repressed emotions, mostly anger, bubbling over inappropriately and in random misdirections, so. it's not pleasant trying to talk to him! sometimes he's okay but man.

and he has the same issue all the adults / caregivers in my life have of just not being able to stay on topic unless he can talk about himself. i don't think i have had a single serious relationship with an older person in my family where i can talk. about myself. or my life. and not have them either blow up at me or blow me off immediately. they can talk about Their sad childhood or Their divorce or Their work problems or Their politics, but i have just. not had many fruitful conversations. if it's about stuff that doesn't affect us as much, Maybe, once i listen to everything they think and validate them, i can give my perspective and soften them up to a compromise.

but my personal experiences?? i just do not go to family adults for that, i do not expect that from them because it has never been offered or available.

that is so fucking sad.

and i don't hate it here! it genuinely is nice to have a more stable situation and to have some sense of reliability for physical and fiscal needs. i just. don't. always feel like i am here because i have a free choice. i technically, i guess, have a choice, but. it's not one i feel like i can actually. look at. or. discuss. openly.

and that's not how i want to be. i want my autonomy and i want to live my life because i chose it, doing what i love and trying what i want, having options and making personal, specific choices, taking steps to get what i want, where i want, how i want. not. just being here. not. this.

this has been the root of my depression for a LONG time like when i was still living with my mom, type long, and it was. worse and better then because i had less hope for my immediate future but i had more daydreams. now it's like. i'm half. it's half. way there. i AM doing things. because i want. 😔... and. it. still feels. hard. and, discouraged. and, bad. like, my dad, wants to drive me, which is ok, i don't want, to take the bus for 1.5 hours each way every day i work. and. he seems. kind of like, he wants, to always drive me. and says. it's hard to see me get more independent. and he wants me here cleaning, instead of on the bus.

and. i don't. know how, he wants me, to feel, about that. i don't. think he's joking. he doesn't, mean it in, a bad way, i think. not, totally serious, or literal. 😮‍💨

[kaithewhatever]

Some times all I think about is you, late night in the middle of june, heat waves been freaking me out, honey came in and she caught me red handed cheating with the girl next door, I did my time and I want out so I got have faith it doesn’t cut, the reckoning the sickening, cause maybe your gonna be the one that saves me, never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down, go go go go go gallo Siegen, move bitch get out the way get out the way bruh get out the way, so I wrote this song for the Christian youth I wanna teach kids the Christian truth when the pimps in the crib ma drop it like it’s hot drop it like it’s hot drop it like it’s hot and if the pigs wanna get at you young man there are leaves falling down I said young man eat the ass of that clown I get knocked down but I get up again you ain’t never gonna get me down I want something else to get me though this semi charmed kinda life baby got back ra ra rasputin russia greatest fuck machine now you chance to be a big shot be a big be a big be a big shot you had to open your mouth you had to be big shot didn’t ya that girl is poison it driving me outta my mind that why it hard for me to find can’t get her outta my head bird up everybody say when you hear the call you better get it underway bird up it’s a code word no matter where you say it you know that you’ll be heard I’m beginning to feel like a rap god rap god all my people from the front to the back nod back nod dk donkey Kong he the leader of bunch you know him well I’m on my way I’m making it I’m gonna let it show yeah, I play Pokémon go everyday I play Pokémon go, we’re flying we’re free we re free before the thunderstorm on towards the wilderness our quest carries on darkness imprisoning me all that I see absolute whore I cannot live I cannot die iah ie maiya ha maya hoo maya haha maya hee maya hoo maya hoo maya heehee anime you ok can you tell us that your ok I walk to Burger King then I walk back home from Burger King might as well be walking on the sus mighta as well be walking on the sus this looks like a joj for me so everybody just follow me cause we need a little contreversey cause it feel so empty without memes ey macarena

#stream of consciousness #idk man #music #shitpost #clown #stop posting about amogus #anime #burger king #bad words #hooh sis the joj #the joj #decayer app #rick astley #rap music #rats Putin

[xxzzk]

A letter to my best friend

I wanted to write something really special or poetic or fancy,

The more I think of the right words and lines, it's quite lot in the little I see.

Soooo, before I explode, I might wanna start with this..

A letter to my best friend, whom I would greatly miss..

My mom told, back in the day, when we were kids,you used to read me rhymes and stories..

And i would happily go around biting you and destroying your playtime and peace (xD I WAS EVIL, I STILL AM)

You're probably the first friend I made in this planet,

Jeeeeez! We were helpless toddlers when we first met xD

I absolutely don't remember anything after that, but then I'd see you every year at VBS,

Oh myy!!! The fun we all had and for Summer days at church, God bless! :')

Then another memory makes me smile,

Gosh, I almost crashed your cycle in moments less than awhile (Soorrry about that :P

The last VBS night, I remember a handshake, a firm one, the one I wanted to feel and last an extra second or few.

Since then time flew, you went to college and i never got to see you

But thank God for Instagram xD, I was able to find you and bug you all day;

Ranting about nonsense junk, bothering and troubling you every single day xD ( YOU HAVE SOOO MUCH PATIENCE)

We had quite the fun, didn't we?

We all hiked a mountain together and the memories will always be.

I sometimes wonder, out of all people in this biggg world, why do I have to in your life stay?

Even when miles afar, how am I able to find my way?

What kinda angel keeps bringing me back to you?

Crazy as it sounds, that even the brightest of colours long for shades and hues

when you have almost nothing to say,

I, at times sense and feel your heart even when your words don't say.

Intuition? Gut feeling? I truly know not,

A strong sense and feeling, is all I got.

I've sent you my prayers at times you never thought you'd need one

Not long and bigg prayers. Simple, uplifting ones with twist of some fun

For instance " Jesus, i pray that this boy would eat food and drink water and not mess up at the interview,

And even if He does, show him the bigger picture from your perfect view"

Jesus i pray that you would calm his heart and silence the storms raging in his heart,

And show him he's waaaay more than who he thinks he is, and what he does to prove his part.

Yeah something like that, I'd sayy

And wonder... " Lord, is this guy really having a bad day?

Haha, that's when I'd 4× text in a row to see,

Is the dude dead and gone to a better place to be ( DON'T DIE FIRST)

I guess, you now understand, our friendship has always been God's choice

After all, I'm a clueless crazy kid dependent on his voice.

I think it's HIS love for you that has always made me to stay,

Trust me, for I'm a loner myself and i prefer to be left alone in my own way.

If at all a goof like me has added a little sunshine in your rainy days,

I truly believe it's the act of the Father who loves you in immeasurable ways.

Soooo? Here's the catch, our friendship is never gonna sink,

Now don't sit and calculate all probability and think.

I just believe that God will make me find and reach out to you when you need a friend,

After all, I'm a crazy silly person whom you can count on to the very end!

I'm done with the poetry. You can read it as many times you want or even keep copies of it. You're welcome!

Listen.. take care of yourself. Drink water and eat well. Make new friends. Meet a lotta new people. Keep dreaming big. Do what you love. Chase after your dreams. Sleep early at nights. Pick up a new hobby when you feel like you need a break. Call and talk to your mom as much as you can, come on, try, calling ain't that hard. Learning cooking, it can become handy when move out. Take one step at a time. Please learn to say NO. Don't let evil people take advantage of your kindness. Don't over think or worry much. Do what you can, give it your best and leave the rest to God. Fall madly in love with the right person and love hard. Fight for what you know is right. Don't forget to do that fancy thing, the art thing you do and post in your Instagram. Keep in touch with old friends. Take frequent breaks. Go to new places. Try new food. find new music. Pray daily. Smile often, ok?. Keep chasing after God's heart. And once in awhile... text , email, post or call this old friend, I'll be staying and sticking around for a long time.

Until next time!

With love and lots of prayers,

Kkethini.

[jaw-the-fandom-hopper]

Can I survive them? Pt.1(?)

So, my dad and I are huge slasher fans, and last night we had an in-depth talk if we could take slashers or at least survive them. And this is what I came up with for myself.

Jason Voorhees (og)

Right off the bat, probably.

I wouldn't do anything to cause problems in his forest, and if anything I'd be there to do something good.

Now, of course if it's a situation of he's trying to kill me just to kill me? No, absolutely not.

I'd see that behemoth of a man and just accept death.

I'd say, 6/10 probably could survive, if I wasn't dumb.

Michael Myers (og)

Haha. No.

If he wants me dead? I'm dead.

Only way I'm surviving is if I run for the hills, but even then I probably won't get far.

1/10 very likely gonna die

Old man Myers (aka, 2018 Michael Myers)

Probably.

I wouldn't try and get in his way, or try to cause problems, so I have that going for me.

But if he ended up in my house? Hell no.

I know how to pick my battles if he was out to get me I'd accept my fate.

Solid 3/10. Only because I think he might not kill me simply due to the fact im a damn coward when it comes to big people.

Michael Myers (RZ)

Honestly?

No fucking clue.

I mean, if he did want me dead, he could easily take me out. He's like, 6'9.

But if I saw someone that big I wouldn't even look at them, and I sure as hell wouldn't enter an abandoned house where people died in.

Only other reason he might not kill me is because I'd probably be like 'wow you're tall, cool' if I ever did see him.

I'd say... 4.5/10.

Freddy Krueger

Lmao, yeah.

1; I don't dream, and when I do I pretty much recognize it's a dream.

Even then, if I'm lucid during a fucked up dream? I just start screaming that it's a dream and isn't real.

And, if it isn't a dream and he's physically coming after me?

Man fuck you krueger I'll beat your crispy ass.

9/10, like my odds but they're not 100%

Billy Lenz

Bold of you to assume we'd fight.

But in all honesty, good chance of beating his ass.

I fight dirty because I'm not that strong, so if anyone comes at me I start ripping off ears and gouging out eyes.

Even then, it's twink on twink violence.

7.5/10 really good odds.

Vincent Sinclair

honestly great odds but now for the reason you think.

I'm cajun, aka I was born and raised in southern Louisiana.

If anything, I'd meet Vincent because I was genuinely interested in his art.

And I don't think he'd find a reason to kill me (neither would Bo)

I have those good ol' southern manners, y'know??

So, 9/10, really like my odds.

Bo Sinclair

Good odds, bad reasons.

As with Vincent, I'm cajun, and would definitely end up less as a tourist, more as a lost idiot needing gas

Knowing me, I'd probably stumble across some incriminating evidence on accident, also knowing me, I'd absolutely ignore it

And well, I'm a witness, so Bo can't exactly let me go

I'd just be really (probably too) kind about the whole thing, and he wouldn't really wanna kill me

5/10, I live, but probably not allowed to leave

Bubba Sawyer (og Leatherface)

I'd compliment his mask, or bracelet.

It'd be an in the moment, panicked statement to save my own ass, sorta compliment, but i digress.

He'd (hopefully) grow interested, so I'd continue to compliment him.

Which might lead to him kidnapping me but

So, did I win? ..not really considering if I do live through it, I'll just end up being dragged into the family.

5/10, I lived but at what cost?

Any of the ghostfaces

OH HELL YEAH

One, I don't answer my phone

Two, when I do it's to be an idiot, especially to telemarketers

Three, I know how to improvise weapons

In short, if one even came at me, nontheless called me first, they ain't getting far.

10/10, can beat and would beat again.

#jason voorhees #micheal myers #rz michael myers #freddy krueger #billy lenz #vincent sinclair #bo sinclair #bubba sawyer #ghostface #friday the 13th #halloween kills #halloween #rz halloween #nightmare on elm street #black christmas #house of wax #texas chainsaw massacre #tcm #scream

[mammonswhore]

Heyo! How would the Obey Me brothers react to MC being a teenager/younger gen Z? Like, the paper-work got mixed up somehow, and said they were like 26, when they were actually like 16? Also (you don't have to include this), what if the teen MC was actually really interested in demons and angles before coming to devildom, so they're really nervous, but also really excited? If you don't wanna do it, that's fine tho :) Have a great day/night!

I love this prompt! Have a great day too,love🖤

Brothers reaction to MC being a Gen Z teen. (Platonic)

✒Lucifer.

He can already picture himself struggling with you.

Six brothers to take care of + a TEEN? Man is about to loose it.

If you are an introverted he will like you automatically and feel relieved that you will not always get into his brothers shenanigans.

If you are an extroverted (or just a curious one tbh) he will keep an eye on you 24/7 so you won't get into Mammon schemes or Satan's nerves and get yourself in trouble.

Really amused if you like demons and angels, will curse himself for misreading but will not hate himself too much since you are not that scared.

Gets tired of you quickly if you make too many questions and will always send you to ask Mammon or if it's something that he doesn't know himself he will ask Diavolo and tell you later but he will (of course) act all high and mighty as if he already knew the answer to such question.

Will practically adopt you and spoil you a lot because hes is big brother.

Overprotective. Oh you met a lesser demon and you want to go on a date with them? Haha he won't let you.

You will be the only person who gets in trouble and leaves with just a warning.

Also you are totally his soft spot. Man can't resist your sad face and will do anything to make you happy even if he doesn't like to admit that.

Totally lost when it comes to TikTok/memes references and will ask about it a lot.

✒Mammon

He is amazing. Not only does whatever you ask him to but also has the best ways to get you out of boredom.

He will teach you how to scam people and how to be a good thief even if you don't need it or want it.

Teaches you about demons and angels without even knowing. Sometimes he drops random facts but it's not until he realizes you write down what he says that he stops doing it just to hear you ask him things so he can act all smug and smart.

If someone breaks your heart he will be ready to throw hands,no one hurts their little siblings.

Like Lucifer,he adopted you and always claims to be "the one you choose to be with you first" making sure his brothers hear him.

He will help you make your homework. Even if he doesn't understand he will try his best.

Please refer to him sometimes as "big brother" he will die.

When he saves your ass from getting killed by lesser demons he will be ready to receive the biggest hug ever and is absolutely ready to be praised.

If he saves you and you say "thanks,big brother" now you have a problem. He will brag about it for a week (at least).

Will steal things from you to keep them with him when he is going thru an episode. It reminds him that someone thinks of him as worthy and love deserving.

Will die for you,you are not only family now but his favorite person.

Will compliment you in the best brotherhood way he can "looking good today,kid", "your hair looks nice,brat" and "You are the best looking sibling after me of course" are his go to compliments. Mostly does it because you compliment him back and because he knows his comments make you feel closer to him and boy loves it.

✒Levi

If you are an introvert like him you can expect him to go out of his room more often just to see you or talk to you.

If you are not he will try to make you an indoors person but if he can't he is might be willing to take a risk and go out once a week but just to the manga store and back,don't expect more,normie.

If you like any thing he likes he will try to test you and prove he is better than you,he doesn't give a fuck you are practically a child he can't loose.

If he wins he will be very happy and more open to you to open up with some things.

If he doesn't win he will cry when he is alone and call himself an ugly unworthy idiot who can't even be considered an otaku but relax my dude,MC will go to you and reassure you you know better than them and that they will love to hear what you have to say (even if they don't mean it,they love you and will love to see you happy again).

Knows the basics about demons and angels so he is not the best to go to if you have too many questions. That's the only time he will let his envy go away and tell you to go to Satan or Lucifer since they know more than him.

He does not takes his duty as a big brother as something serious since Lucifer is always there but if you call him "big brother" he is going to take that role serious but for you and you only.

Will 100% find siblings cosplays and gets you to do it with him.

If you ever said something like "I'm lucky that my big brother is also my best friend" he might tear up a little since he has never been considered someone's best friend ever.

If any of his brothers try to get you to call him "big brother" he will go on a rampage unless it's Lucifer. Boy is envious not dumb.

If it was Lucifer he will go to him later and ask you if he can stop trying to get you to call him that way because that's they way you call him and it makes him feel special. Lucifer will probably agree because he knows Levi doesn't feel special often so he might give in; if he doesn't Levi will start an argument and won't stop until Lucifer cuts him off or agrees.

Keep calling him big brother, he adores it.

✒Satan

As grumpy as he is,he loves to have yo by his side. Not because he loves company but because he likes to be able to answer all your questions.

Ask him anything about demons or angels and he knows it,fuck he is smart.

Will get you a notebook so you can write what he says and will give you books to read as "extra homework" it's kind of a bad deal if you think of it but it's his way to show love.

The only person who calls him "big brother" often is Asmo and got used to it coming from him and him only. If he hears you calling him that way he will probably jump out of happiness when he is alone but for know he will just answer to that name name and act like nothing happened.

You don't want to do your homework? Fine you can copy mine but just this once.

If you struggle with anything he will solve it for you,no cap.

He will get you cat themed items like pencils, notebooks,necklaces or rings.

Matching is a must. Not because he likes the concept of being associated with a part of someone but because he will love to brag with his brothers obviously.

Will definitely get mad if you ask any type of demon/angel related thing to others.

Names a cat after you but it's the cats middle name so he won't get mocked. Won't tell you tho.

Very very protective but good at hiding it. He might be following you down the street but you wouldn't even know. Kinda creepy? Yes. Have you ever got eaten? Nope.

✒Asmo

Yes! Exactly what he was waiting for.

You are part of his experiments. You don't like makeup? Well now you do. What type of clothes do you have? Do you have an aesthetic? No? Well now you do.

He is always there when you need him to. Best of them all to give advise when needed.

Definitely will be annoyed by all of your questions but will try to be as gentle as possible to tell you that.

Can help you to become really good at comebacks,believe him he knows best than anyone.

He is the one making sure you are educated when comes to sex. Simple but worthy lessons such as "sex is about experimenting and finding what you really like but you always need your partners consent" or "always have a safe word,even when you have vanilla type of sex" or the best one yet "if they want to fuck with you that's fine but always remember to use protection because I will not like to see you having a child so young or having an abortion" because yeah that's what big brothers do.

If you hit him with the "you are the best,big brother" he will jump into your arms and say that he knows he is the best but that hearing that was way too magical,do it again!

He is very aware of insecurities and will try to be the shoulder you cry on if you need to,he is always there to wipe of your tears (or wipe off the ones who hurt you).

Not as protective as the others but keeps an eye on you because your curiosity might hurt you.

Will be crushed if he sees you suffering from the most minimal thing. That lipstick does not fit your skin color? Fuck that lipstick! We are getting new ones,go get Lucifers card!

Spoils you way more than any other because he wants to create a brat. He needs to have someone like you who will cling into Lucifer and beg him to let you do dumb things because you know Lucifer can't say no to you. He needs your power and is not afraid to tell you that

Constant reassurance. He always calls you by cute nicknames and as long as you call him "my beautiful big brother" every time he is amused.

✒Beel

Baby is ready to give you life lessons. Don't stab anyone,drink enough water and be patient with the ones you love.

Yes,he learned the "don't stab anyone" from talking to Belphie.

Is very lost when it comes to you being so interested in demons and angels because he is not used to be the one answering the questions but making them. Bare with him, he is trying to get a good answer.

Will ask for advice on how to answer you, probably goes to Lucifer but mostly Belphie.

Soon you two start doing things together that involve learning from humans and angels. Maybe you are walking down the street working out and when you both start chatting about demon life and suddenly everything stops.

Beel is clueless when it comes to comforting someone about an insecuritie since he was the one being comforted most of the times but will give you space if you need to or do whatever you feel comfy with.

If you call him "big brother" he will hug you like no one has ever hugged you before. Teddy bear hugs are a must now.

Will die for you and is not afraid of telling you such. "MC I will die for you" "whAt?" "As your big brother I may protect you with my life" "Please don't."

Tells you how much he wants you to be happy and constantly asks if you have any type of dreams or goals.

If you do have goals or dreams he will encourage you to go get it. Beel is there to support you no matter what.

✒Belphie.

Absolutely fucking not.

Why is everyone spoiling this stupid brat and not me? I hate them.

But hold on there,he doesn't completely hates you he just hates the attention you get.

If you go to him with a soft attitude and ask him if you can nap together he will say yes and will enjoy the moment a lot .

He has never been someone's big brother so it kinda hits him if you call him like that and will try to act confident and smug about it but it's kinda terrified.

What if he doesn't catch up on the big brother thing and fucks up? He doesn't want to disappoint you or make you feel awkward. So he copies his big brother and tries his best,believe me he does.

You need help with something? Ugh well I will help but you owe me one (you don't owe him anything really,he just doesn't wants to be seen as soft for you). Oh did someone caused you problems? No biggie,I will take care of it.

Spoiler alert: he is very overprotective with you,he doesn't want to lose you.

#obey me x reader #obey me scenarios #obey me imagines #obey me belphegor #obey me asmodeus #obey me satan #obey me mammon #obey me shall we date #obey me lucifer #obey me headcanons #obey me mc #obey me

[familyfriendlyweed]

makeup sessions (karl jacobs x fem reader)

a/n : hi! this is my first tumblr post. i have written stuff on wattpad in the past, but it’s still quite new to me, so please be nice :]] i accept positive critism and advice, as that most definitely will help me grow as a writer!

 Y/n let out something between a squeal and a scream at the same time when she saw Karl's tweet. her face was beat red and her lips couldn't help but curl into the stupidest grin ever.

the tweet read :

hey @) y/nhasursocks wanna do my makeup at my stream today :]]

 it was the simplest tweet, yet it meant so much to the girl. Karl and Y/n were always really good friends, they often streamed minecraft together, but never in a million years did he yet ask her to be in his stream in real life.

 Y/n picked up the phone with trembling hands, already seeing a bunch of likes, comments and retweets to Karl's tweet. before answering, she got curious to know what the people say. cautiously opening the comments section, the girl scanned it through with her eyes. a bunch of "awwwwws" and hearts could be seen, which worsened her already red cheeks.

With her heart thumping hard against her ribs, she started writing her reply :

sounds great! <3

 for a moment Y/n hesitated to press the "reply" button with the "<3" emoticon in the comment, but then she figured she and Karl sent lovey dovey emojis/emoticons in the past to each other anyways, so, she pressed the "reply" button at last.

 in an instant, her reply started gaining more and more likes, comments and retweets. Y/n was never really popular, having her clout was only because of Karl being her friend, so seeing this much attention was weird to her. but she didn't care about that right now. all that Y/n cared about at the moment was the fact that Karl appreciated her enough to actually invite her over.

 a little bit later in the day, Y/n received a private message from Karl, which said :

hey Y/n! I'm really glad you're up to stream together <3 i planned on starting the stream at 4 pm, but you can change the time if you're busy :] here is my address (don't tell anyone! :D) - (random address lol)

 Y/n answered :

 thanks for inviting me bestie!! 4 pm is cool, I'll be there! <33

 she set the phone down, unable to remove the blissful smile from her face. she has never felt this way before - it was really weird, but the constant butterflies in her tummy reminded her that it's a good feeling. taking a few deep breaths, Y/n reminded to herself that all she has to do is to go to Karl's house and have a good time AS FRIENDS - no romantic stuff is needed.

  ~~~~~time skip~~~~~

  Y/n got off from the bus at 15:50, but she still had about 5 minutes to reach Karl's house. in what felt like forever, the girl felt a sting of what was unmistakably fear and guilt - what if she was late? and what if Karl would be annoyed with her for that?

 slowly she broke into a panicky run. passing careless citizens, who all looked at her fear-stricken face curiously, she finally made it to the front door of Karl's home. Y/n pulled out her phone and found the code that she was supposed to enter next the main door. she quickly dialed it, a beep beep beep was heard and she entered.  

 finally making it to Karl's apartment, Y/n stopped to smooth her hair and straighten her clothes so she doesn't look too shabby. her body seemed to be moving on its own - her finger pressed the doorbell automatically.

 Karl opened the door almost in an instant - he wore a warm smile and before Y/n could stutter a "hello", he pulled the girl into a big welcoming hug.

 "hey Y/n! it's so cool you made it!" Karl exclaimed, still holding her close.

Y/n's head was spinning, she needed more time to process what was happening. but nevertheless, she finally lifted her own arms and hugged the guy. burying her face into his sweater, she inhaled Karl's scent deeply - he smelled something like honey and warm days.

"hello, Karl." she mumbled with a grin on her face.

"come on, do you want to eat something before the stream?" Karl asked, letting go of the girl and taking her hand into his instead, leading Y/n into the house.

"oh no, I'm full. let's get straight to business." she answered, the blissful smile and content blush never leaving her face.

"alrighty! you already know, but we'll have an eventful makeup session, and then I thought maybe play some minecraft so the stream isn't too short?" the guy asked, opening his bedroom door.

"sounds great!"

Karl smiled and went to his computer :

"you ready? I'll start the stream now."

the girl quickly fixed her hair again and gave him thumbs up :

"ready."

Karl started the stream with facecam on and as soon as the chat saw Y/n, it went absolutely wild.

"guys, give her a rest, poor girl just came!" he laughed, drawing her a chair. Y/n thanked quietly and sat, waving to the chat timidly. in the corner of her eye, she saw comments like "she's so adorable" and "look at Karl being a gentleman" in the chat and her cheeks grew more red, but this time from satisfaction.

"well, as you guys know, Y/n agreed to be in my stream today, and since some of you don't really know her, she's a really good friend of mine who also streams and does youtube videos - so go support her!"

from that moment Y/n relaxed more and more with each minute. it was fifteen minutes into the stream when she already felt as if at home.

"Karl, you have a hell lot of lipsticks, where did that come from?"

"uhhhh, I only bought them for the stream today!"

"oh really? why are they all used, then?" Y/n asked giggling and showing them to the stream.

"hey- don't expose me like that!"

"chat, clip it, CLIP IT!"

all was going really well, Y/n was having a really good time with Karl AS FRIENDS. it was really nice. but all hell broke loose when the time to put eyeliner came.

"alright, I have no idea why, but you have four eyeliners."

"they're my sister's."

"haha, yeah, yeah, alright. Which one do you want big man?"

"hmmm, the one in your left hand!"

Y/n set the other eyeliners on the table, quickly glancing at the chat. her cheeks grew very very red…

"Y/N DO THE MEME SIT ON HIS LAP" "SIT ON HIS LAP" "THE MEME, DO THE MEME!!!"

  a/n: if anyone is confused, this is an example of the meme i’m talking about :

the girl tried to act as if she hadn't seen the comments, but Karl was already by her side, reading them with her.

"meme… what meme?" he wondered out loud. Y/n got the impression that he was genuinely confused.

'chat, shut the fuck up, please shut the fuck up.' thought Y/n, but of course chat was just being chat.

"SHE SHOULD SIT ON UR LAP" "THERE'S A MEME WHERE A GIRL DOES A GUY'S EYELINER WHILE SITTING ON HIS LAP" "WE'RE NOT FORCING BUT YOU GUYS WOULD LOOK SO CUTE"

Y/n hid her face in her hands, unable to control her blushing. Karl just chuckled sweetly :

"chat, calm down, she's going to die from blushing."

he put on the "please stand by" screen and scooted over Y/n :

"hey, it's fine. we won't do it if you don't want to," Karl then leaned closer and whispered, "I'd be pretty glad if you agreed, though."

Y/n lowered her hands, showing off the big red hue on her cheeks. for a split second Karl's eyes widened -  she looked really adorable.

"I'd also be glad." the girl said, almost not believing her own words.

Karl's adorable smile came back and he leaned back:

"well then, come here."

Y/n stood up shyly and straddled his legs, grabbing the eyeliner in the process.

"do you want me to turn on the facecam?" Karl asked quietly.

the girl nodded :

"I don't mind."

he turned it on and put his hands onto Y/n's hips. even without looking at it, Y/n knew the chat was blowing up at the moment.

"you guys better subscribe, because we're providing very good fanservice." said Karl jokingly and Y/n laughed. turning to him, she opened the eyeliner and put it next to his eye, only to find him staring at her in an awe. the girl blushed as a strong urge to kiss him kicked in. it looked as if Karl wanted the same thing.

at the precise same time, they both leaned in and pressed their lips together, Y/n putting her hands onto Karl's cheeks to hide the view from the chat. the kiss was very short and with no tongue included - but it was the most sweet kiss Y/n has ever shared with someone. she pulled away, an identical grin to Karl's on her face and hugged him very tight - they almost fell off the chair.

laughing, she continued to do Karl's makeup as if nothing happened and everyone watching the stream wasn't fainting and clipping the kiss. this will be talked about for a long time, but as before, Y/n didn't care about that, and nor did Karl.

a/n : anddddd cut! it’s quite wonky, but i believe it’s pretty swell for my first mcyt fanfic :]] let me know what you think of it and if you have any tips or advice on how to make my future stories more enjoyable! thanks for reading and i hope to see you around <3

#mcyt #mcyt x reader #mcyt imagine #karl jacobs #karl jacobs x reader #karl jacobs imagines #mcyt imagines #dream smp #dream smp imagines #dream smp x reader

[cloudybarnes]

Hidden | C.H

Pairing: corpse husband x reader

Request:  Hi! I saw that requests were open for corpse, so I wanted to ask if you’d be willing to do one where the reader is also a faceless youtuber but she’s been getting some hate recently because people picked up on the flirty dynamic between her and corpse (they’re together, people just don’t know) and fangirls are jealous, so they send her hate. I really love those protective corpse fics and I’d love to see your take on this! No pressure if you don’t wanna write this! Love your work btw :) 

Word Count: 1.1k

Main Masterlist

Corpse Masterlist

A/N: thank you for the request! I hope you like it, even if it isn’t a lot of protective Corpse haha

✰  ✰  ✰

"I like your ears, Corpse." You giggle, as you wiggle your Among Us avatar around his.

He chuckles, "Thanks, Y/n. You should match with me."

You run over to the little laptop and change your hat to the ears. "Hell yeah! This is what I'm talking about." You giggle.

"We look so cute matching like this." Corpse responds.

You giggle, "You look cute, Corpse."

"Oh," he chuckles, "thanks."

You mute yourself in the game, a little caught off guard because you didn't mean to call Corpse cute out loud. Both being faceless youtubers, Corpse and you kind of connected right off the bat. It was a little inside joke between the two of you that faceless youtubers had to stick together, so you did.

What the two of you didn't realize, was that you would fall for each other. Constant texts and hours of phone calls turned into confessions and showing each other what you looked like.

A relationship was built; a secret one at that. You wanted to keep your private life, well, private. You two tried to be lowkey about it, but it was kind of difficult for you considering how hard you were falling for him.

"Y/n, quit flirting with Corpse, he's with Sykkuno." Ludwig laughed.

You giggle, and take a look over at your chat. A lot of the comments were talking about being nicer to you, which was confusing. You kept watching for a little longer and you soon saw some mean messages.

They were angry that you were flirting with Corpse. You didn't even think what you said was that bad, but apparently this was a regular thing for you. People seem to have picked up on your flirty behavior with Corpse, and they didn't like it.

Making sure you were muted in discord, you decided to talk to your chat. "Guys, I think I'm going to have to put chat on emote-only mode. I'm just going to say that I don't think Corpse or anyone is uncomfortable by how I talk to him, and it's all harmless so please don't be so mean in the chat."

A few minutes later, you get a message from Corpse.

Chat just told me about what yours was saying. I told them I don't mind when you're flirty with me and tried defending you. I'm coming over when we're done streaming, you need a pick me up cause you aren't sounding too happy.

You sighed, and responded back with a simple thank you my love.

Eventually, you did turn your chat back to followers only, and it wasn't too bad. A lot of them were sticking up for you and telling you how much Corpse was sticking up for you. This peaked your interest. At the next lobby break, you decided to check out a clip of him addressing that on his stream.

"Guys, don't-don't flame Y/n. She's done nothing wrong ever. I don't get uncomfortable with the flirty, I think it's actually fun to be playful and flirty back and forth. We love Y/n over here, don't be mean to my friends please."

You turned your attention back to your friends. "I think this is going to have to be my LG, guys." You explained to them.

"Aw," Rae pouted, "Okay, we'll make it a good one. We can find one fill for you."

"Uh, this will also be my last game." Corpse quietly chimed in.

"That's fine," Toast replied, "as long as no one else leaves we can find two fills."

Your last round was surprisingly really short. You were second to die, and the first meeting was called after four were already dead. No one had any information, so they just randomly voted Toast off cause he's smart.

Turns out, it was a scary combination or your boyfriend and Rae who got everyone in one round.

"Alright everyone, thanks for the games!" You smiled, "I had a lot of fun, thanks for playing!"

A chorus of goodbyes followed your leave. You left the discord and the lobby, and just sat for a second.

"Bye everyone. I'll be streaming again tomorrow night playing with the same group, so if you want to tune in again, I will see you there!"

You ended your stream quickly and took a deep breath. Corpse just messaged you he was getting ready to leave him house, so you decided to get up and clean a little before his arrival.

You make your bed, clean up the kitchen, and tidy up the living room. Just as you finish, a knocking on your door starts.

You lightly smile as you paddle over to open the door for him. He smiles at you and pulls you into a hug as soon as he sees you.

"You alright, sweet girl?" He mumbles as he pushes the two of you further into the house, and closes the door behind him.

You shrug, "yeah, I'll be okay. Just some people are really, uh, protective over you I guess."

He shakes his head, and grabs your hands to place a kiss to the back of each one. "They don't need to be protective over me, especially not when it's my girlfriend flirting with me. They have no right to say I don't like it or I don't like you."

You nod, and run your fingers along the side of his face, knowing it eases him. "I know that. I'm trying not to let if effect me because I don't know those people. It shouldn't matter what they think of me or us because they don't truly know us."

He brings his hand up to where mine is on his cheek, and holds them there together. "You're right, baby. What they think doesn't matter, so I was thinking maybe we should tell people we're together."

You look up at him, a little confused. "You really want to?"

He smiles and presses a kiss to your forehead. "I do. I want people to know I'm taken, and that it's you I'm taken by."

Your heart soars at this, and you let out a little giggle. "Yeah, I like that."

Corpse grins and pulls you into a kiss. Your hand still being held on his face, while his hand moves to cup your face.

He pulls back, and drags you to the couch. You sit down with him, and watch as he pulls his phone from his pocket.

"What are you thinking of posting?" You ask, curious.

Corpse grabs your hand in his, interlocking your fingers. You lightly scratch your purple acrylics across his hand the way he likes.

Your rings match his, and shine as he takes a picture of your interlocked hands.

On Instagram, he posts the picture of them and tags you with the caption "my favorite girl".

#corpse #corpse husband #corpse husband x reader #corpse x reader #corpse husband oneshot #corpse husband imagine #YouTube #corpse imagines #corpse oneshot #youtubers x reader

[dolcezzasfantasy]

a good kind of fire

prompt | Character A runs a flower shop downtown. Character B is terribly allergic to flowers. ~ for @wkemeup's writing challenge for 9k

pairing | bucky barnes x reader, modern!au

word count | 2.5k (i am now emotionally invested in these characters)

warnings | bucky and reader being awkward as hell, chaotic texting, innuendoes (blink and you'll miss it)

notes | i didn't know i could still submit entries to the challenge haha, i was rlly upset i'd missed the train on it

you'll find out why this is the gif i picked when you read it 😭💀

it was a peaceful spring morning. you heard the chirping of the birds from almost every window in your apartment. sunlight was also seeping in through every window. it was a good start to the day.

today was the day you went into work late. when you had quit your job at an office as a receptionist to pursue your dream of being a florist, you thought you would be working on your own terms. while that was still true for the decorating and choosing flowers part of your job, it certainly wasn’t for the timings. if anything, the timings were more strenuous now that you had to manage shop all by yourself.

you would have to go in at 6 in the morning and leave at 10 in the night with a total time of 17 minutes free throughout for an entire year, before you realised how unhealthy it was for you. you had quickly drawn up a schedule for yourself. once a month you would come in late, and one more time that month you would leave early. it worked well for you.

you would look forward to these two days in a month: the first tuesday of the month being the one you left early and the third wednesday of the month being the one you came in late.

usually, on the days you came in late, you’d sleep in. but today, you wanted to change it up. the morning was a beautiful one, it would be a shame to spend it all inside.

you decided to go to a cafe that your friends had recommended on more than one occasion. good coffee, delicious snacks and cute baristas. you shook your head disapprovingly at how dirtily their minds worked. sometimes, you couldn’t believe you were friends with them of all the 2.6 million people in brooklyn.

you stepped out of your apartment. as you walked out, you waved to your elderly neighbours. back when you had first opened shop, they were your regulars. they’d keep buying even if they didn’t need flowers. you didn’t know where you’d be without their help.

after fifteen minutes of walking and checking the directions on your phone to see if you were going on the right path, you found it. the howling brasserie.

the moment you entered the shop, you realised your friends were right. not about the coffee or the snacks — not yet, anyway — but about the bartenders. holy shit, you thought.

there was a tall blonde man with a smile that could kill, another tall black man who you just knew was incredibly charming and a beautiful red haired woman who looked like she had a flirtatious demeanour. but one man in particular caught your attention.

he was a tall man — six feet tall, at least — with broad shoulders, messy brown hair and crystal blue eyes. you gulped. pull yourself together.

you took a seat at the table furthest away from the baristas. you did not need to come into work flushed and distracted.

you hadn’t been sitting at your table for one minute when you heard a voice above you.

‘ma’am, your order?’

you looked up. oh, my god. it was the same blue eyed man. calm down. he looked even prettier up close. your eyes fell to his chest — you tried your best to stop that from happening, you really did — and you noticed how the t-shirt he was wearing was doing absolutely nothing to conceal his muscular form.

‘ma’am?’ he repeated, a small smile on his face. maybe he noticed that you were staring. he was probably used to it.

‘uh, right, sorry,’ you cleared your throat. you wanted to jump off the golden gate bridge. ‘um, what would you recommend?’ oh, my god, stop embarrassing yourself! you yelled mentally.

‘uh,’ he looked behind to the board with all the products the cafe offered, ‘are you more of a coffee or a tea person?’

‘coffee, absolutely.’

he laughed. you felt your cheeks burn. his laugh was just as pretty as him. dear lord, y/n, what the hell is wrong with you?

‘aren’t we all?’ he joked. ‘anyway, the cold coffee here is splendid. and i’m not just saying that because i work here.’

you had never really fancied iced coffee much. maybe it was time to change that. ‘oh, okay! yeah, i love iced coffee! i’ll take that.’ your voice sounded a lot higher than it normally was.

‘alright, i’ll be right back.’

he left to go behind the counter and make your coffee. sweet mother of everything that is pure, you thought as your gaze fell upon his muscular arms. you tried to push all the unwelcome thoughts in your head that followed.

you were just regaining your composure when he showed up again, this time with your coffee in his hands.

‘here ya go,’ he said, placing the cup in front of you. ‘enjoy,’ he smiled.

if you were standing, you were a hundred percent sure your knees would have buckled under you and made you fall.

you smiled back. ‘thank you.’

the moment he walked away, you picked up your phone and frantically texted your best friend, wanda.

| cUTE GUY ALERT

| what?

| i’m at that coffee shop you recommended

| howling brasserie?

| YES OMG THE BARISTA HERE IS SO CUTE IM GONNA DIE

| lmaoooo calm down bestie

| HOW

| describe him pls

| he’s like six feet tall, messy brown hair, pretty blue eyes and he is so muscular i-

| omg go for it

| r u out of ur mind

| why

| he is sO OUT of my league

| ugh you’re no fun

| :/

you downed the last of your coffee and walked up to the counter to pay for it. thanks to your luck, the cute barista was also handling the cash register.

‘hello again,’ he grinned.

‘hi, um, how much do i pay?’

‘this your first time here?’

‘yep.’

‘on the house.’

‘what?’

‘yep. don’t worry about it.’

‘that’s too kind, i can’t!’

‘you absolutely can,’ he smiled.

‘let me leave a tip at least.’

‘don’t worry about it, doll.’ the nickname, oh, my god, the nickname. ‘you can pay the next time you visit.’

‘right, of course.’ maybe you should make visiting this coffee shop your ritual. and take more breaks, like your regulars insisted.

he waved you goodbye.

as you walked to your shop, you realised you hadn’t caught his name. you had been too enamoured to check for a name tag. damn it.

the next wednesday morning, you went again. you had wanda take care of the shop. you let her take 10% of the proceeds when she was working as compensation.

when you entered the coffee shop, your gaze traveled all over the place. you couldn’t find him. maybe he had a different shift. you considered walking out, but that would be rude. so you sat down in the corner you had last time.

you saw the red haired woman walk towards your table, but when she was less than three metres away, the door swung open. it was him. he was carrying a box. his gaze landed on you, then the woman, and he rushed to drop the box.

you saw him approach the woman and tell her something. she handed him her notepad, and walked to the kitchen. he then came to your table.

‘i’ve been waiting all week for your money,’ he teased.

you laughed. ‘and you shall get it soon.’

‘the same?’

‘yep.’

his gaze lingered at you for a few more seconds before he walked back to the kitchen to grab your coffee.

that day, when you were about to leave after you paid for your coffee, just as you were about to walk away, he rushed up to you.

‘hey,’ he said, in between laboured breaths.

‘hi,’ you said. what? ‘you okay?’

‘yep. absolutely.’

‘gotta get that morning jog in, i suppose,’ you joked.

‘right,’ he laughed. ‘i just, um, for some reason, thought you should know my name.’

‘oh?’ you squealed mentally.

‘yep. it’s bucky, by the way.’

‘bucky,’ you said. ‘right, i’m y/n.’ you stretched your hand out.

‘pleasure to meet you, y/n.’ your heart skipped a beat when you heard him say your name.

‘the pleasure is all mine,’ you managed to say without stuttering.

it became a tradition for you to come every week. wanda was more than happy to let you shoot your shot. you may or may not have led her to believe you planned on asking him out soon. which you didn’t. it was a ridiculous idea.

you stopped leaving early each month to make up for the lost time. it was worth it, because soon meeting bucky had become the best part of your day, week and morning.

it was your fourth trip to the cafe when you and bucky had a full conversation.

he had just brought you your coffee, when you noticed he stood around for longer than usual.

‘i’m sorry, do i pay now?’ you asked.

‘no, no. i just, um, i have a break right about now.’

‘oh, good for you,’ you smiled.

‘yeah. would you, um, mind if i sat down here?’

‘with me?’

‘yeah.’ he ran his hands through his hair, messing it up more than it already was.

‘yeah,’ you felt your face heat up, ‘yeah, absolutely.’

‘great.’ he sat down in front of you.

you felt him look at you as you sipped your coffee. ‘do you want to talk?’

‘god, i’m sorry, i have a bit of a staring problem, or at least i’ve been told.’

you laughed. ‘it’s okay.’

‘so, um, tell me about yourself.’

‘what do you wanna know?’

‘what do you do for a living?’

‘i own a shop downtown.’

‘really?’

‘yep.’

‘what do you sell?’

‘maybe you should come find out.’

‘mysterious. i like that,’ he chuckled. ‘text me the address and i’ll stop by someday.’

‘alright.’

he stared at you for a second.

‘staring problem,’ you reminded him with a smile.

‘right, sorry,’ he laughed. ‘just, uh, how are you gonna text me?’

of course. ‘um, i don’t know.’

‘maybe i should give you my number.’

‘maybe.’

he wrote down something in a messy scrawl on his notepad, tore the page, folded it up and slid it across the table to you. checking his watch, he said, ‘as much as i hate to leave you here, my break has ended. until next week,’ he smiled.

‘until next week,’ you nodded. you unfolded the paper.

his number was there. below it, messy handwriting read, you can call me if you want too <3

you were almost completely certain you were grinning like an idiot.

he came to visit the next day. you were helping an elderly woman pick out what to get for her grandson’s wedding when your phone rang.

‘go on, take it,’ the woman told you.

‘i’m so sorry, i won’t be long.’

you headed behind your counter. it was bucky.

‘hey. isn’t there a rule for this in the bro code or something?’

‘not to my knowledge, no.’

‘the rule where you’re not supposed to call someone if it’s been less than three days?’

he laughed. ‘how do you know that?’

‘i have a few guy friends.’

‘anyone i should be worried about?’

you chuckled. ‘nope.’

‘the rule doesn’t apply to special people.’

‘you flatter me.’

‘i'm glad.’ you just knew he was flashing his thousand megawatt smile at the other end. ‘anyway, what’s your shop’s name? i’m here but i don’t know where your shop is.’

‘oh, it’s the one called blooming shield.’

‘interesting name.’

‘i came up with it when i was drunk,’ you laughed.

‘it’s still pretty good.’

you spotted him out the window of your shop. his back was turned to you.

you rushed out of your door, still on the phone with him. you tapped him on the shoulder.

‘oh, god,’ he practically yelped. you winced and cut the call immediately.

‘sorry about that.’

‘it’s alright.’ his features softened into a smile.

‘do you wanna head inside?’

‘yeah, sure.’ he had an uneasy kind of look on his face, but you brushed it off.

you took him inside.

‘so, why’d you decide to become a florist?’

‘um, i just really like flowers, i suppose. nothing too profound,’ you laughed.

‘interesting.’

‘yeah.’ you led him through the aisles.

‘hibiscus is my favourite flower,’ you told him. you saw him breathing deeper than usual, and his nose was turning slightly red.

‘hey, are you alright?’ you asked him.

‘yeah,’ he almost wheezed, ‘i’m great.’ then he sneezed. ‘oh, my god, i am so sorry.’

‘bucky, are you allergic to pollen?’ you asked him, the worry prevalent in your voice.

‘no,’ his gaze landed on the floor. ‘maybe.’

‘dear lord,’ you said as you practically dragged him out of your store. ‘why didn’t you tell me?’

‘i’m sorry.’ it sounded more like i'm sowwy.

‘bucky, i’m gonna take you to my apartment. is that okay? i have a bunch of antihistamines and decongestants there.’

he nodded.

you put your arm around him. it must have been a strange sight, to see someone of your stature almost carry a man that broad shouldered and taller than most through the streets.

when you reached the apartment, you opted for the elevator for the first time in your life.

‘bucky, why didn’t you tell me?’ you said in the elevator.

‘i didn’t want to let you down,’ you barely heard his murmur.

you took his face into your hand. ‘you would’ve been okay with me almost killing you, though?’

‘you didn’t almost kill me,’ he smiled.

‘i could’ve.’

‘maybe.’

you laughed.

when the elevator reached your floor, you pushed him out — with great struggle — and almost threw him onto the couch when you opened the door.

‘god, i am so sorry,’ you said, frantically, as you looked in your cabinets for the medicine.

‘it’s okay, i deserve it.’

you almost tripped over yourself as you ran to where he was sitting.

‘okay,’ you handed him a glass of water, one yellow pill and one white pill, ‘take these.’

he downed them quickly.

‘are you better?’

‘a little.’

‘that’s good.’

‘you really should have told me.’

‘i know, i just didn’t want to ruin it.’

‘i think you dying would’ve ruined it.’

he laughed. ‘you really are never gonna let this go, are you?

‘nope.’

‘i’m sorry i almost died on our first date.’

you looked at him with wide eyes. ‘was this?’

‘what?’

‘our first date?’

‘was it not? jesus, i misinterpreted it, argh, i’m sorry—’

‘no, i, uh, like the sound of that,’ you smiled.

‘well, now i’ve just ruined it beyond repair.’

‘maybe you can swing by for dinner and we can watch a movie afterwards,’ you suggested.

‘really?’

‘yep.’

‘that’d be great. what movie?’

you thought for a second. then, with a smile, you said, ’mean girls is good.’

‘right, i’ve heard quite a lot about that one. haven’t seen it, though.’

‘oh, my god. you haven’t seen mean girls?’

‘nope.’

‘where were you in high school?’

he laughed.

‘we have to watch this movie.’

‘alright.’ he grinned wide at you. your face was on fire. but a good kind of fire.

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆

thank you so much for reading! feedback is so, so appreciated! <3 please do not repost my work on any platform. reblogs are fine!

#bucky barnes #bucky barnes x reader #bucky x reader #bucky barnes fluff #bucky barnes fanfic #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes fic