#like seriously. some of them have their college tuition PAID for by their parents

[selamat-linting]

not to be a cunt but i do have a slight superiority complex because i've been through things that would make the average people kill themselves. if someone comes up to me, and say they've given up or they dont think of having a future, chances are i would mock them behind their backs. like, when i was a kid even my extended family and some of my neighbors THINK i wouldn't be able to finish elementary school because my mom and dad is a poor fuck up and i was a freak autistic little kid who cant afford a textbook. like, talk to me about hopelessness when even your own relatives see you as a baby and think you cant do the bare minimum. like, i do think im better than some of my friends.

#this is generalizing of course #and only applies to my irl peers who is mostly an ablebodied and neurotypical middle class kid who is having their quarter life crisis #like seriously. some of them have their college tuition PAID for by their parents #and they still feel like they'll never have a future #or they'd bitch about surviving a toxic relationship as if its as horrifying as witness domestic abuse as a kid #please stop venting to me i literally have no sympathy to your problems #YOU have the power to break this pattern yet you sit in complacency and simmer in depression until it almost killed you #i'll try my best to be a decent person to you but i have no sympathy #posts about my life #disclaimer : i know this is a problematic thing to say. i know im being an asshole. i know i should have more compassion #but rn. i dont have it

[little-cereal-draws]

ok i'm just going to vent a bit abt some financial issues i've got rn so feel free to skip

i'm going to a really nice private school rn. i've only been going for one semester but it's an amazing school with a 99% employment rate within six months of graduating. which is amazing. for any college but especially for an art school. like i've said, i've only been there for one semester and they're already started us on career prep. most kids graduate with multiple job offers and the lucky ones make up to six figures straight out of school.

but tuition is expensive. we can't afford it. we can't pay my tuition and rent. my tuition was due on dec 1st and it's not in yet bc we don't have the money. we never had a lot to begin with, but my dad lost one of his jobs a few months ago so now we have even less. theres not enough money for a christmas tree or presents this year, there's barely enough for food, so idk what we're going to do. we've applied for renters assistance but they're so slow, and the last time my tuition can be submitted is a week from today. my dad was looking at a payment plan from the school but they still require you pay half of it upfront and we don't have that!!! i don't know what we're going to do. our choices are not have me go next semester, get evicted, or beg family members for more money like we've been doing.

i really don't know what we're going to do bc when we paid my fall tuition, it was too much and we almost got evicted too. this can't happen every quarter for the next four years! it's too much, it's too much money! we're trying to move to a better building but they won't answer my dads emails. literally there's one week left. i know that i will end up going back somehow, maybe my mom will pay it, maybe my grandpa, maybe we'll have to take out another loan, but i'm sure it will get done.

i just feel so fucking useless. i got into another school that offered me so much money, we would only be paying $4000 a year but noOoO, I had to go to the nice prestigious school. it's bc i want to know for a fact i could get a job after school which is a perfectly good reason but idk if my family can make it that long. i don't want to drop out but i've been thinking about it (not seriously tho, more as smth to do in the future). my parents would be furious if i did that bc i worked so hard to get in and they're paying so much and they want me to acheive my dreams but if the options are drop out or have my dad and sister be homeless... i know what i'm choosing. that's kind've a "worst case scenario" but really we're very close. we're so behind on rent (7 months i think?).

I've been applying for scholarships nonstop since last spring but haven't won any. i've applied for so many jobs and none of them have gotten back to me. and the job that i do have is as a freelancer for a startup company but they won't give me any work! i emailed the school and begged them for more money and they gave me an additional $8000 a year, which is helpful, but isn't enough to help substantially. i'm going to apply for jobs at the school when the semester starts and fill out every scholarship i can find.

idk but if we get evicted and then my dad finally loses against his depression, it's going to be on my fucking head

#basically it just boils down to #'isn't it fucked up that my family has to choose between not being homeless and being able to eat or sending me to school' #and i chose to be a fucking artist this is going to be my situation for the rest of my life #i love the american college scene

[crotchety-old-blogger]

"We all have the same 24 hours"

Usually in reference with success, this innocuous phrase uttered by successful smug people who say it just to anger me. My retort shall be worded for obscenely wealthy people, so that they might comprehend.

---Look, Parker, Terrence, Taylor, or whatever your name. Clearly you have come from a very wealthy family, without mental or physical ailments. Someone, perhaps your parents, paid for your college tuition and your sportscar. Or you paid for it all with your outrageously high allowance.

Now you have risen into adulthood; you have a wonderful job, that you might have grandfathered into, that you go to once or twice per week, which has also provided you with this wonderful company car, wonderful bank account, so you can go on wonderful vacations. Sounds like your 24 hours is unparalleled! Good for you.

But you say we all have the same 24 hours. Literally, yes, we do. But Albert Einstein said that time is relative. (Or does anybody believe in his works in 2022?) But successes have nothing to do with utilizing the "same 24 hours".

Speaking of myself, being as educated as far as high school, my job options were slim; nothing beats slinging popcorn at a rowdy, snot-nosed theater, for rowdy, snot-nosed customers and their rowdy snot-nosed children, asking asinine questions like "Do you have gluten-free popcorn?" Well, you see, uuuuuh, ALL POPCORN IS GLUTEN FREE, ASSHOLES! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH SOME OF YOU? CORN IS CORN AND WHEAT IS WHEAT! IF YOU WANT TO BUY HEALTHY SNACKS, DON'T GO TO YOUR LOCAL MOVIE THEATER!!! But could my lips utter such words to these customers? No, because my job would come to an end. But I digress.

It was necessary for me to work at this rowdy, snot-nosed theater because my folks squandered their money on frivolous ventures. So there goes my college endeavors. Community College was not an option for two reasons: Regardless of the awesome job grades on my GED, it wasn't awesome enough. Not to mention that my city's Community College is, how do I put this? . . . . SHIT! And who has thousands of hours to waste on increasing your grade point average in CALCULUS?!? There's not time. Rent and bills need to be paid yesterday.

So slinging popcorn day and night was my choice; including cleaning up child puke, human puke, child diarrhea, child pee, homeless person pee, unclogging waterless urinals that some literal asshole dropped a deuce in; all in hopes to pay my portion of rent.

After a long, exhausting day, its finally time to go home and wash up for an hour. THAT'S RIGHT I SAID AN HOUR, because there's this feeling of not getting clean enough. This coming from someone who does not have phobias over germs. Not to mention that no soap exists that can wash away mental anguish that goes along with the venomous abuse that customers spew. Such as infamous customers, supposedly adults, who throw a major temper tantrum when offered Sprite instead of 7-Up. Seriously, that's busting your hump?!? Sir? Sir? Excuse me, grown adult? Calm down! Your example you are setting for your child, in a word, shameful.

So where does the problem lie? The biggest complainers are the ones who have that lack of calluses on their hands, or scars, that identify them as a hard working laborer. They skip along their merry way free from backaches, with ardent, optimistic belief that just around the corner something wonderful is headed their way. They put on these pretentious polo shirts that appear not to have ever been through any washer or dryer, but noticeably dry-cleaned. They drive pretentious cars that run on a $20,000 battery, supposedly to be environmentally friendly; until it dies when reaching the 100,000 mile mark, then they have to replace it, and the old battery cannot be recycled, causing more dangerous waste--but I digress.

From my perspective, however prejudiced, the majority of people certainly DO NOT have the same 24 hours as we do. When we utter idioms such as, "Our plate is full", we are conveying that we have got a lot to do. When THEY say it, they mean that their literal plate is full of FOOD.

It almost seems that they have nothing to do all day but think of ways to make peons feel more insecure in their daily life. Meanwhile, with our 24 hours, we are trying to maintain our sanity so we may keep our jobs, care for our families, and think of different ways to mentally and emotionally cope with people such as these, without resorting to violence. Because poor people know one fact: Wealthy people die alone. Poor people have friends and relatives near them when they die. However, they do share one thing in common: when that person dies--wealthy or poor--everyone goes argues over the will.

Do we all have the same 24 hours? In the literal sense, yes. Other than that, no. Thank you for spending some of your 24 hours reading my crap.

What is it like within your 24 hours? Share in the comments.

#24 hours #work #sucsess #wealthy #poor #backbreaking work #luxury #life of reily #is life of reily a thing anymore? Outdated? #tirade #wtf #angry #dark humor

[itsamejin]

easy || jungkook angst/fluff

Summary: Date you, win a bet, get his rent paid off. Sounds promising enough, right? Jungkook should’ve known that his ambitions would end in disaster, but even if he did, that still wouldn’t have stopped him from pursuing you.

Warning: cursing, crude humor, fuckboy talk

Genre: college!au, fuckboy!au, bet!trope, angst, fluff

Pairing: Jungkook x female!reader

Premise: In which Jungkook accepts a bet from Taehyung to date the first girl that walks into the lecture hall and realizes that he bit off more than he could chew when starts to catch feelings. Now, he has to suffer the consequences of being an idiot.

Commission Request: @altus-gens​

Word Count: 9,203 words

—

It's not like Jungkook planned to be one of the most sought after person in Yonsei University, but it somehow turned out to be that way. Truthfully, he basks in it, loves that so many people idolize him for doing the bare minimum. He was handsome after all and had a level of charm that surpassed the need to have a good personality. 

He got into such a prestigious school through an athletic scholarship for Taekwondo, managed to convince his professors to pass him when he put in minimal effort, and there was no shortage of girls to call when he was feeling lonely for a night. He was the stereotypical 'it' boy on campus and maybe if he was a little bit smarter, he'd have a better choice of friends than the six idiots he always hangs around with.

"How about this," Taehyung starts, gum in his mouth, "the first girl who walks in, you have to successfully get in her pants."

Jungkook rolls his eyes. They were in a damn lecture hall and yet Taehyung had no shame bringing up sex. Typical.

“This again, bro?” Hoseok sighed. “Aren’t you sick of bribing us to do weird shit for you?”

Taehyung smirked.

“Not at all, actually.”

"For how much?" Namjoon cut in, probably curious for the price point Taehyung would arrange this time. He was fired from his job just a week ago and could really use the money. "I'll do it if it’s enough to pay for my rent this month."

Taehyung scoffs, although knowing full well he could pay for all of the boys’ tuitions combined if he wanted to. He was the resident rich bachelor on campus after all.

"I'll pay it for a full year and your utility bills too if you're really down," Taehyung flaunts. "You just gotta have proof you actually managed to do it."

"Dude that's gross," Seokjin chimes in, "No one wants to send you proof of us doing it with a random girl."

Taehyung shakes his head.

"No, no, no," he says, clicking his tongue. "I phrased it incorrectly. I’m not a fucking pervert."

“You got us fooled,” Jimin mutters. 

Taehyung leans in closer to the six boys and even Jungkook finds himself getting intrigued. Admittedly, he was a little curious considering he hasn't had a proper meal in weeks. He could really use having some extra cash for food without worrying about rent.

"You have to date the girl for like three months," Taehyung says seriously, "and I'll consider that as enough proof that you managed to actually do it since I know you guys are too horny to wait any longer than that to fuck."

They all look at Taehyung in disgust, Jimin even opting to hit him in the back of the head for being so vulgar. To be fair, they were all thinking of accepting Taehyung's bet regardless. It's not like they were new to leading girls on anyway.

"You gotta pay me more than that to fuck just any girl," Yoongi says, yawning in the process. He seemed the least likely to take up Taehyung's offer, but he was still game depending on the person.

"Then how would you feel," Taehyung starts, "if I told you guys that I could get you priority registration for next quarter."

The boys, even the ones who weren't interested, were now listening to Taehyung's every word.

"You mean," Hoseok gulps, "I could finally get that fucking Organic Chemistry class I need to get out of this hell hole?!"

Taehyung shrugs, an ominous smile on his face.

"Just the perk of having parents who have connections," Taehyung replies. “I’ll only accept one of you guys to do it though. I don’t wanna have you all fucking the same girl- that’d be weird.”

Hoseok rolls his eyes.

“Yeah, that’s what’s weird about this,” he grumbles.

“So are you guys in or not?” Taehyung asks, his patience growing thin.

He lays back on his chair, a smoldering look on his face when they all nod. They were desperate for money after all.

"The next girl that walks in will be the subject of this bet and whoever calls dibs on her first will be the one to woo her,” he says with a stretch of his arms. “Good luck boys.”

They all turned to look at the door and Jungkook watches silently as guy after guy walks into the lecture hall. No girl yet. 

Jungkook was hoping, from the bottom of his heart, that no familiar faces would walk in. If he had to deal with a past fling, he’d have to back out immediately. He never dealt with exes very well.

The guys are at the edge of their seats, praying for a cute girl to walk through that didn’t already know about their horrible reputation. They were looking for an easy target, someone that could fall for their charms almost immediately.

And then, you walk in. You were clad in sweats with earphones on, rushing toward the front row seats of the lecture hall. You were chatting with your friends, yawning several times throughout your conversation with them. Jungkook couldn’t help but smirk. There was nothing special about you to point out, in fact, you were just like everyone else. Strangely enough, he found that the most intriguing part about you.

"Nope, nope, nope," Jimin shakes his head repeatedly. "Can't, won't, never will. Sorry, Tae."

They all stare at him in confusion.

"What the fuck, what's wrong with her?" Yoongi asks, crossing his arms over his chest. Jimin faces away from you, not wanting to look at you any longer.

"No, nothing," there seems to be a blush forming on his face. He was hiding something.

“Bullshit,” Taehyung furrows his brows. “Bro, if she’s crazy and one of us gets our dick bitten off, we’re all blaming you, so spit it out.”

Jimin just sighs.

"She's been giving me Professor Kwon’s notes for the past few weeks,” he starts, much to the confusion of his friends. “Her name is [Y/N]. It'll be really mean if I go after her, especially since she and I are kind of friends. Plus, I really need to pass this class. I failed last quarter..."

The boys groan. Jimin was no fun.

"She's not my type so I don't think I could really get into it either," Seokjin states, no longer interested in the prize after Jimin’s confession. He’s been banking off of your notes from him too. 

"Aren’t we all old enough to know not to mess with people’s feelings?" Hoseok sighs.

They roll their eyes at Hoseok’s statement. Who was he trying to fool with the nice guy act? He probably fooled around with girls just as much as the other guys did.

"Yeah, I’m backing out," Yoongi agrees, "and she hates me so there's that."

They all look at him questioningly and he puts his hands up in the air from their gazes.

"What? I just realized who she’s talking to down there.”

He pointed at a girl discreetly, but no one seemed to recognize her.

“Her friend and I dated,” Yoongi continues, “and I broke up with her over text and blocked her without letting her respond. That whole friend group is pretty much pissed at me. I'd rather not have to deal with them again."

The guys look disapprovingly at him. Breaking up over text was harsh, but probably not the worst thing Yoongi has done to his exes.

"You're actually a piece of shit," Namjoon sighs. "I really do need my rent paid though..."

Jungkook nods in agreement. It's been almost impossible to balance Taekwondo practices, college papers, and working a part-time job all at once. If he could somehow find a way to quit his job for a while and get priority registration for classes, then he doesn't mind getting his hands a little dirty in the process. Plus, you were cute enough and he's sure you weren't too difficult to befriend as long as he doesn't mention Yoongi in any conversations.

"I'm in," Jungkook chides, finally saying something after such a long period of silence.

They all look at him with disbelief in their eyes. Jungkook was never the one to partake in Taehyung's bets. In fact, he was the one usually ridiculing them for participating. He must have been really desperate if he was willing to do it.

"I mean, it's all yours if you want," Namjoon replies, "I don't wanna turn it into a competition.”

“Don’t worry dude,” Jungkook fist bumps Namjoon, “I’ll quit my job and refer you for it.”

They nod at each other as if they were on the same wavelength. 

“I knew I could rely on you,” Namjoon says, faking tears from his eyes. The boys groan in response.

“Alright,” Taehyung claps his hands. “In exchange for providing me some mindless entertainment and going out with [Y/N], you will get your rent paid for the rest of the year and get early registration for next quarter. Sounds like a pretty sweet deal to me.”

Jimin shakes his head.

“I don’t know about this, guys...”

Jungkook doesn’t hear him and instead takes one last look at you. You catch him in the corner of your eye and you can’t help but feel flustered at his serious expression. 

“Should be easy enough,” he mutters to himself and turns his gaze back onto his friend.

“So we have a deal?” Taehyung asks.

He smirks, shaking the outreached hand Taehyung held out for him. He steals another glance at you and he finds you staring right back. He gives you a wink.

“Deal.”

—

Jungkook slid into the seat next to yours in the campus canteen, his eyes filled with determination. His posture was laid-back, but it was a little too obvious that he was trying to act like he didn’t care.

“Hi,” he greets you in a breathy tone- girls loved it when he spoke with his breathy tone.

“Hi?”

You’d been sensing that someone was staring at you during the lecture, but you thought that was just the paranoia that came from being near such an intimidating group of guys. Turns out, you should always trust your instincts.

Jungkook had a boyish grin on his face that made you want to smile back but also stare at him in disgust.

“I heard you help Jimin with Professor Kwon’s notes,” he whispers mischievously. “I’m struggling myself, actually...”

Not really, but you know. This was the easiest tactic to approach you- tackle your similarities. You nod understandingly at his words, not quite getting that he was flirting with you.

“Yeah I can send you the Google Drive folder,” you comply, taking your phone out. “But you can’t let Professor Kwon know or else he’ll flip out. He doesn’t want people to have the notes for some odd reason...”

You trail off but Jungkook just scoffs. You seemed clueless.

“That’s not what I necessarily meant,” he says, a little shy this time. “I need a tutor.”

You furrow your brows at him.

“Yeah, you’re gonna have to pay me for that,” you say seriously. The last time you offered to tutor someone for free, they ended up blaming you for their failing grade and screaming about it all over social media. You needed money to compensate for that emotional trauma. “Microeconomics is hard to teach.”

“Well thankfully I’m a good student,” Jungkook teases. You stare at him with a deadpan face.

“You wouldn’t need my help if you were a good student,” you say blankly, standing up from your seat. “My hourly rate is 20,000 Won. Take it or leave it.”

Jungkook’s eye twitched. He had to spend his money to get Taehyung’s money? Well, the payout would be worth it in the end anyway. He reaches out a hand to you.

“If you’d have me,” he says cheekily, looking up at you. You take his hand in yours and maybe for a second you felt your heart skip a beat, but that was soon over when you let go of him.

“You have sweaty hands,” you say straightforwardly. You wipe your hand on your shirt and he coughs awkwardly at how unresponsive you truly were. Didn’t Jimin say you were a nice person? 

You take your barely-touched lunch tray and walk away from his pensive figure.

“Wait, can I get your number?” he yells. You don’t look back.

“Alright, whatever,” he mumbles to himself. “I’ll just ask Jimin, I guess.”

Without even a second glance, you disappear from his sight. He sits back on his chair, heaving out a deep sigh. Sure, this wasn’t the first girl that didn’t care much for his advances, but you didn’t even crack a smile or anything. This is going to be harder than he thought...

—

“She hates me,” Jungkook whines to Seokjin as they walked down the university halls to their next shared class. “Yesterday, I went up to her to get her number and I left with a fucking debt. Does that make any sense?”

“Well, maybe you shouldn’t have taken on the bet,” Seokjin yawned. “Namjoon would have wooed her with his poetry by now or some shit.”

Jungkook rolls his eyes.

“Yeah, I’m sure she’s interested in a dude who can’t even put on a hat without causing an earthquake.”

Seokjin smacked him on the back.

“At least he’d have the guts to say no to having a fucking tutor,” Seokjin replies. “You dug your own grave, man. Now roll around in it.”

“Do you want me to succeed or not?” 

“I want you to not be a fucking dumbass, Jungkook,” Seokjin sighs. “Do you really wanna make your reputation worse than it already is?”

Just as Jungkook was about to reply, he catches a glimpse of you walking farther ahead in the university courtyard. You were a bit far but he’s sure he could make it if he hurries. He smacks the binder he held in his right hand onto Seokjin’s chest.

“Yo, can you cover for me,” he asks hastily and Seokjin stares at him with a concerned gaze. He watches as Jungkook takes off his backpack and leaves it on the ground. Jungkook looked about ready to break out in a sprint.

“What the fuck, why?” Seokjin questions.

“Just tell the TA I’m out for a bit,” he says in response, already running ahead to catch up to you. “I’m winning this fucking bet or I’ll die trying.”

Jin stands still, mouth agape. Jungkook really left him with his backpack and binder just to talk to you. He shakes his head. ‘I need to make new friends,’ he thought to himself, picking up the discarded backpack and walking in the direction of the class Jungkook was planning to be late to.

You were walking with your earphones on, not noticing someone sprinting at you in record speed. You only turn your music off when Jungkook stops in front of you, his hands on his knees. He was panting heavily.

“Hey,” he says through deep breaths. You nod at him awkwardly.

“Why are you running?”

“I wanted to... catch up to you... and I thought... you were closer... but the run here... took... fucking... forever,” he says breathlessly. “Water. I need water.”

You take out a bottle from your tote bag hastily, handing it to him. He took it into his hands, grazing your fingers a bit. As he was about to start chugging it, you halted him.

“Waterfall,” you say curtly- you were still planning to drink out of it later after all. 

He nods in response, a drop of sweat cascading the side of his neck. After he was done, there was practically no water left anyway. ‘I’m gonna have to refill it myself,’ you thought begrudgingly. You stuff it back into your bag and wait until his breaths become more even.

“A bit out of shape, huh?”

He scoffs and gives you a glare, clearly offended.

“I actually have a Taekwondo scholarship, you know that? I just wasn’t warmed up and I’m naturally sweaty so it’s not like-”

You laugh a little.

“I’m joking,” you say, a smile adorning your face. He feels his face turn red and he can’t help but purse his lips out of embarrassment. Jeon Jungkook couldn’t take a fucking joke.

“O-oh,” he says shyly, avoiding your gaze. Why was he acting more like an idiot than usual? You hear the chiming bells of the university tower and stare at your phone to check the time.

“Don’t you have a class?” you ask him. His eyes widen and soon he was dashing off again. He turns around mid-run, jogging backward to face you.

“My number is 06-1313-9197,” he yells, loud enough for the other late students in the courtyard to hear. Most of them roll their eyes, knowing that Jungkook was flirting with another girl yet again. You’re embarrassed by the amount of attention he’s getting, but punch his number on your phone anyway.

“Text me,” he shouts. “I’ll always respond to you.”

Now it was your turn to be flustered.

—

"That’s wrong,” you say, reaching over to Jungkook’s notebook and marking a large ‘X’ on his paper. “You’re not supposed to apply that function for this problem...”

Jungkook stared at you with a tired face. He didn’t think he was too bad at the mathematical aspect of Microeconomics, but it seemed like it was your life’s mission to make him look like an idiot. Of course, you caught every mistake that he made- even the ones he made on purpose just to see if you were really paying attention to his work and not bamboozling him.

“My bad,” he mutters, copying down the same problem on a different sheet of paper. He didn’t even get a chance to make a move on you today- not like he could make any big developments in the campus library anyway.

“Is it like this?” he asks, tilting his notebook to face you. You take a hard look at it and nod.

“Yeah, just make sure you know the difference between these two formulas, or else you’ll mess up on the midterm,” you say thoughtfully.

This was your fourth or fifth tutoring session by now? Truth be told he wasn’t really counting. Each moment he spent with you kind of blended together and he didn’t quite know if that was a bad thing or not.

“You know you’re not even struggling,” you say, your nose buried deep in your textbook. “It’s not like you’re completely clueless like Jimin. It seems like you’re wasting money on stuff you already know.”

Jungkook laughs heartily, getting shushed by the people around him. He really was stupid, wasn’t he?

“Yeah, well, it was just an excuse to hang out with the pretty girl in class, you know?” he says as nonchalantly as he could. You stare at him for a second and he swears he feels his body freeze over. If looks could kill...

You just shook your head with a click of your tongue and got back to reading.

“The pretty girl in class is most definitely not me,” you grumble. “If you wanted, I could’ve given you Soobin’s number without all the added hassle of you trying to come talk to me-”

“Woah, woah, woah,” Jungkook stops you from saying anything else. He looked worriedly at your face. “I don’t even know who the hell Soobin is, why would I want her number?”

You look at him and finally, you chuckle. ‘She really does have a nice smile,’ Jungkook thought to himself. It would be nice if he could make you laugh more often and not just on rare occasions like this.

“You’re saying you don’t know Yoongi’s ex?” you tease slightly. You were finally letting your guard down with him and Jungkook smirked. One wall down, another million more to go.

“Bold of you to assume that I know any of Yoongi’s exes,” he says and you scoff. “He’s an asshole when it comes to dating.”

You roll your eyes.

“Isn’t that your whole friend group?”

He pouts. You knew of his reputation after all. Jungkook thought he could get away playing a nice boy act, but it didn't seem possible considering your knowledge of him. A little white lie couldn’t hurt in the end.

“Not me,” he replies. “I choose my relationships pretty carefully.”

You take a glance at him before jotting down a few more words in your notebook.

“Well,” you start off, a little shy to admit what you were about to say, “I guess we both have that in common.”

He tilts his head rather cutely out of confusion.

“What do you mean?”

You cough awkwardly, adjusting yourself on one of the library’s notoriously squeaky seats.

“I’ve never really had a boyfriend before,” you say quietly. His eyes bulge out from their sockets.

“You’re lying.”

“No, I’m not,” you say, a hint of amusement in your voice.

“Like, you’ve never been on a date or what?”

“I have,” you say hesitantly. “I’ve been on a few but they just never led into anything serious. I was pretty focused on studying in high school so there weren’t really any opportunities to get involved with someone. Plus, the guys who pursued me weren’t very... attractive.”

Jungkook laughs loudly again, much to the dismay of the other students in the library. He liked that you didn’t beat around the bush- it was easier to talk to you that way.

“And me?” he asks teasingly, laying his head on his arm that was atop the desk. He looks up at you with that boyish grin of his that gave you small butterflies in your stomach. You stare back at him, but only for a second. You ignore his watchful gaze and continue to flip through your textbook, trying to find the passage you last read. He keeps his eyes locked on you and you just couldn’t resist.

“What about you?” you ask, feigning ignorance.

“Am I attractive?” he replies as bluntly as he could. You stop your movements and he chuckles.

“You’re... cute,” you settle on that word. Cute. It was safe enough to not be misinterpreted too much. He sits up straight with a satisfied smirk. He takes his pen and draws a heart on the side of your notebook. He winks at you when you stare back at him, puzzled by his actions.

“You are too.”

—

“Tell me you’re lying,” Soobin whines disappointingly, shaking your shoulders. You were trying to eat lunch undisturbed in one of the campus cafes but your two friends seem hell-bent on making you suffer. “There’s no way you’re friends with Jungkook.”

You sigh, attempting to rid yourself of Soobin’s grasp but to no avail.

“He’s an asshole, [Y/N],” Gaeun sighs disappointingly. “I thought you were a feminist, why the fuck do you even tolerate him?”

You glare at her for a split second before going back to prying Soobin off you.

“Jungkook has no respect for women or himself. It shows in how many shitty friends he has,” Soobin chants, still clearly bitter that Yoongi dumped her.

You shake your head, rolling your shoulders back when she finally lets go of you.

“Jungkook’s not even as bad as you guys describe him,” you reply. “He’s actually been really sweet.”

The girls take a glance at each other and burst in a fit of laughter.

“You must be out of your damn mind,” Gaeun cries. You cower slightly at their words. It’s not like you said anything that controversial, did you?

Soobin slaps Gaeun on the shoulder when she realizes how your face had soured. It wasn’t right to judge you for your choice of friends so harshly, no matter how horrid said person was.

“As long as it doesn’t go past friends,” she says soothingly, but that only made you feel worse.

“Why?” you ask a little hesitantly. “Does Jungkook sleep around?”

Gaeun nods, a worrying glimpse in her eyes.

“He's not exactly the type to kiss and stay...”

You nod understandingly. You weren’t too clueless to believe Jungkook when he said he was “careful” on who he dated. As long as you knew the boundaries that came with being his tutor, everything should be fine... right?

“Don’t worry guys,” you say with determination. “I’m not the type to get played-”

“Of course you are!” Gaeun sighed. “Guys gravitate towards girls like you who lack experience. Jungkook’s a fucking weirdo, of course, he’s gonna try and-”

“[Y/N]!” a shout from across the cafe screams. That distracted you from the various insults Gaeun was spewing from her mouth. You get that she was being critical of Jungkook, but did she have to speak ill of you too?

You look around and catch Jungkook waving frantically at you. He stops at your table and takes a mere glance at your friends before setting his focus on you. 

“Do you have time to help me out today? One of the papers for my writing class-”

“You tutor him in writing now, too?!” Soobin exclaimed, mouth agape. “[Y/N], what the fuck.”

You try to ignore your friend’s overreaction, a little disheartened when Jungkook looked hurt at their words. He had started to shy away from them as if he didn’t feel welcomed.

“Nevermind, I’ll just ask you later-”

“Actually,” you say standing up. “I’m free now.”

The two girls look back and forth between you and Jungkook, noticing the stars in your eyes when you looked at him. They did not like the thought of you two together at all.

“But [Y/N]-” 

You ignored their words and start to walk away, hoping Jungkook would come catch up to you. You didn’t quite know why their insistence on him being a bad person had made your blood boil. It wasn’t like you weren’t aware of his flirtatious tendencies, but hearing from your friends that you shouldn’t pursue a guy that you liked-

You stopped in your tracks and feel heat climb up your face. Like.

No way you admitted that just now. There’s no possible way you actually like-

“Hey, wait up,” Jungkook pants, his hand touching your shoulder. “Why do you walk so fast for-”

He sees your shocked face and turns you towards him, his hands on your shoulder similar to how Soobin had shaken you just earlier. Except this time, it felt comforting. It made your whole body feel warm as if you were coated with a weighted blanket. Was he always this gorgeous?

“What’s wrong?” he asks, inspecting your face closely. “You look like you just saw a ghost.”

“N-nothing,” you swipe his hands away and rush out the door of the cafe. He smirks at how flustered you look, maybe he did have an effect on you after all.

Jungkook takes a last glimpse at the two girls who sat in their seats, staring at him disapprovingly. He raised an eyebrow at them and shoved his hands in the pocket of his jeans, following after you. ‘They’ll try to get in the way,’ Jungkook thought to himself, ‘but they’re already too late.’

The girls clenched their fist out of annoyance. He was definitely trying to get on their nerves.

“There’s something strange about what’s happening,” Gaeun mutters.

“They’re up to something,” Soobin agrees. “I don’t trust him at all.”

—

It’s been a week since you last spoke to your friends, not really wanting to read the messages they bombarded you with about how you should stay for away from Jungkook. It was hard to take any of their advice seriously when they were just badmouthing him without reason. They based all their opinions on him from rumors around the school and Soobin always felt the need to compare him to Yoongi even though they both had very different personalities. Well, at least to you they seemed very different.

Frankly, you were sick of their nagging and just turned off notifications from that group chat altogether. Instead of sitting next to them during Microeconomics, you opted to sit with Jungkook in the back of the lecture hall instead of at the front with them. Jungkook had abandoned his own rowdy friend group to sit with you and flashed them quick smirks and winks whenever they’d stare at him. 

Slowly, Jungkook had started to become a constant in your day to day life. You walked to class with him, ate with him, played video games with him. It was sort of strange how used to you were of his presence, like you had known him your whole life. Jungkook snaps you out of your thoughts when he starts humming a little tune.

He draws a heart in the corner of your notes- which you find he has a habit of doing whenever he wanted to say something stupid.

“I don’t get what he’s saying,” he pouts cutely. “It’s like he’s speaking a foreign language.”

You shake your head, not paying him any mind.

“Well maybe if you actually paid attention,” you mutter softly. He scoots closer to you and you feel yourself stiffen.

“But you’re tutoring me later on anyway,” he says teasingly. “I get more bang for my buck if I know less.”

“Bang for my buck,” you scoff. “Who even says that anymore?”

He points at himself nonchalantly and you can’t help but crack a smile as you continue to focus on the professor’s words. You don’t even cower under his gaze like you usually do when he stares at you with those puppy dog eyes.

“What do you want?” you ask, finally caving when Professor Kwon adjusted something in his PowerPoint slides. He smiles.

“I want to hold your hand,” Jungkook replies and you could feel your palms clam up. His flirtatious comments increased as time passed and you didn’t really quite know whether he was just teasing you or if he was genuinely interested in you. You weren’t very good at taking a hint.

“I’m writing right now...” you reply, slightly skipping a beat in your note-taking. He really was the ultimate distraction, wasn’t he?

Jungkook pouts sadly, but you can tell an idea pops up in his mind when his eyes start to glimmer. He sits his hand on your thigh and you jolt back from the touch of his hand on the material of your jeans. He pulls away slightly, scared that he had made you uncomfortable.

“I just want to put my arm around you,” he asks innocently. “Are you okay with that?”

You calm yourself down and nod. For goodness sake, you weren’t a child- why did a hand on your thigh make you so nervous for?!

“Yeah,” you say, a little more confident despite your nerves. “Go ahead.”

He smiles softly at you and connects his hand to your waist, pulling you a little closer to him. It was comforting, not at all meant to be more than just a public display of affection. He finds himself getting lost in the lecture along with you, his hand playing with a loose thread on your shirt through it all. He didn’t even look at his friends who were teasing him on the other side of the class or your own friends shooting daggers into his being.

At that moment, it was you, him, and Professor Kwon giving out a lecture that had half of the students already asleep. He smiled at how diligently you worked and how your breath would quicken when Professor Kwon switched the slides without a warning. It was the little idiosyncrasies like this that caught his attention, the kind of things that made him wonder where you’d been all his life.

The smile on Jungkook’s face disappeared when he came to that realization.

Fuck.

—

Jungkook rolls around the grass while you sit on the picnic blanket you two had set up. Midterms were over and grades would soon be announced. He wanted a much-needed distraction from the monotony of constant studying and you had suggested a small picnic in a nearby park. Of course, he agreed. 

“We’re free,” he groans. “Finally free.”

Jungkook stares hungrily at the assortment of food you had laid out for the two of you. He tries to reach a hand out to grab a bottle of lemonade but ultimately fails in the end. You giggle at his silliness, popping a grape in your mouth.

“You’re welcome by the way,” you say jokingly. “Don’t think you could’ve done it without me.”

He sits up to face you, bowing deeply as if you were a traditional empress.

“Thank you,” he says, imitating a Joseon accent. He was watching far too many historical dramas recently.

“You’re embarrassing me,” you say, attempting to straighten him out. “Sit up.”

He complies, only after a few pulls from you, with a toothy grin on his face.

“Seriously, I don’t think I could have gone through the first few weeks of Professor Kwon’s class without your notes,” he sighs, opening his mouth to signal that he wanted to be fed. You roll your eyes but placed a grape between his teeth anyway.

“You have hands, you should know how to use them,” you mumble shyly.

You move to take another grape for yourself, but he grabs your wrist before you could. He intertwines his fingers into yours.

“Why should I when my hands are holding yours~,” he says in a sing-song voice. It made you want to throw up at how cheesy he was, but you couldn’t help but laugh along as he cringed at his own words. When was it so normal for him to hold your hands like this?

“You can’t go one sentence without flirting, can you?” you sigh, feigning annoyance.

“Not when it comes to you,” he replies, but you could feel sincerity laced between his laughter. “I can’t resist flirting when it makes you all giggly like this.”

You purse your lips to prevent yourself from smiling too brightly. Jungkook and you were somewhat past the point of being just friends by now, but you were too much of a coward to label what you had with him. What if there was a chance that he was just leading you on?

Jungkook saw your furrowed brows. He rubbed circles on your hands with his thumbs to ease you.

“Am I making you uncomfortable?” he asks softly, about to let go.

“No-” you say a little too quickly, clasping him closer to you. Your faces were inches apart now, much nearer than they were before.

“D-don’t,” you attempt to say but you’re tongue tangled as you looked at his lips. He certainly does have nice lips...

“Don’t what?” he asks in a lowly voice. You start to look around you- anywhere that wasn’t him. The park was relatively empty but it still felt embarrassing to say anything too loud.

“D-don’t let me go,” you say, your eyes on the picnic blanket rather than on him. His gaze was too intense to look at. Jungkook feels his heart clench. You were cute, too cute. 

He shouldn’t be feeling this attached to you, but he couldn’t help it. Everything you did, every word that came out of your mouth- it had him wanting more from you than he could possibly handle. It was dangerous to feel this way.

“Why don’t you want me to let you go?” he asks nervously. He too was anxious for the answer. If you were to confess to Jungkook right now, he’d get the first part of the bet done, but there’d be no turning back after your confession. He would have to lie to you from now on. 

Jungkook closed his eyes, chanting to himself that it’s okay to like you for a little while, just as long as he doesn’t get too attached in the end. He needed the money, he really did.

“Because,” you start off with a sigh, staring at him now with glossy eyes. “I like you.”

Jungkook feels like he could do ten backflips in one go and it wouldn’t even drain him of energy. The smile on his face was huge, his eyes curling into that half-moon shape that made you swoon. 

Jungkook was relieved and if the boys asked, it was because he’d only have to date you for three months. He’d die before he’d admit to them that he caught feelings because Taehyung, as generous as he was with his bets, would never give Jungkook the money unless he cleanly broke up with you. It was one of his unspoken rules.

“I like you too.”

You smile at him and he can’t help but pull you close, his lips hovering over yours.

“Can I?”

You nod.

His lips graze yours slightly but he pushes a bit closer when he feels you lean into his touch. He kisses you again, and again, and again, but you pull away when his tongue had started to prod at your lips. Your face was flushed,  embarrassed to be doing this in such a public place.

“Maybe later?” you say, panting slightly. He gives you a cheeky grin and nods.

“At my place?” he asks with a wink.

You hesitate, letting go of his arms, twiddling with your fingers. You wanted to set clear labels on what your relationship was. You didn't want to accidentally get caught up in a friends-with-benefits situation and be all shocked when Jungkook ends up breaking your heart.

“So we’re dating now, right?” you ask cautiously, looking at him with a worried glint in your eyes. 

Jungkook’s mouth opens to speak but no words come out. He thinks a little harder about the whole situation... He was getting good grades, spending some quality time with a girl he’s clearly attracted to, and having his rent paid off all in one? He was killing three birds with one stone. It shouldn’t be too big of a problem to catch feelings for now, right? It’s not like any of his relationships lasted longer than a couple of months anyway.

He nods, cupping your face lightly.

“Yeah,” he hesitates. “We’re dating.”

Jungkook wasn’t aware, as he gives you another light peck, that it wasn’t possible to have his cake and eat it too.

—

It happens naturally. You coming in and out of his apartment that he shared with his friends, you tangling your legs with his underneath the sheets of his bed. It was hard to imagine a life where you didn’t wake up with him by your side. You were so wrapped up in his touch, so wrapped up in the sweet words he would whisper into your ears, that you spent most of your time with him. 

You weren’t really up to date with your friends anymore and he didn’t really hang out with his either. Jungkook shared an apartment with Seokjin and Hoseok, and so the only contact he had with the other boys was when they visited those two. He should’ve known to take you back home when all the boys bombarded into his living room, where you sat with him watching TV. 

“The lovebirds are at it again,” Taehyung coos, a mysterious glint in his eyes. “The honeymoon stage hasn’t passed quite yet, has it?”

Jungkook chucks one of the sofa’s throw pillows at his friend, obviously annoyed. What the fuck did Taehyung think he was doing?

“Quit it,” he mutters. You were sitting next to Jungkook, his arm around your shoulder protectively

“Why?” Yoongi yawns. “Anyone can see how incredibly in love you two are.”

You didn’t quite like the smirk he gave the two of you. This didn’t feel like regular teasing... it felt like he knew something that you weren't aware of. It made you curl your toes out of fear.

“Guys,” Jimin says calmly. “Stop it.”

The boys shrug their shoulders as if they said nothing wrong.

“We’re just pointing out how cute they are together,” Taehyung noted, “It’s not like we’re lying to her or anything-”

“Yeah, or leading her on or anything like that-”

“I think I should go,” you say hurriedly, uncomfortable at how tense the atmosphere was. Jungkook was clenching his fists, about ready to start a fight any second. Knowing his strength, you didn’t want anyone to walk around with a bruised eye because you couldn’t handle a few jokes- if that’s what Taehyung and Yoongi think they’re making. Harmless jokes.

“I’ll take you home,” Jungkook announces, standing up with you. Namjoon pulls him down back on the couch.

“Let someone else take her,” he says sternly. “We need to talk.”

Jungkook was about to protest until you spoke up.

“I can get home by myself just fine.”

“Hoseok and I can take you,” Seokjin insists, pulling the unassuming man up with him. “We don’t mind.”

Hoseok gives you a lopsided smile and you return an equally awkward one.

“Okay, that’s settled,” you say, clapping your hands. You walk over to Jungkook. “I’ll text you later okay?”

He nods, grabbing your hand and kissing it lightly. Yoongi scoffs and Taehyung glares at Jungkook. The dirty glances they were giving each other... You didn’t like it at all.

“Let me know when you get home, okay?”

“Okay.”

—

The walk to your apartment was unnecessarily awkward, Hoseok and Seokjin were talking too much and you talked too little. You tried to respond to their every quip, but you weren’t in the mood for chatting after that whole mess.

“You okay, [Y/N]?” Hoseok asks worriedly. “Don’t think too much about what those idiots said back there, they’re like that all the time.”

You nod, keeping your eyes on the ground. There was something chipping away at the back of your mind, something you wanted to get out of your chest.

“Would you say Jungkook and Yoongi act similarly?” you hesitate to say, “like with relationships?”

The two boys exchanged nervous glances at each other.

“Well, it depends,” Seokjin starts, choosing his words specifically. “What about relationships specifically?”

“Does he...,” you start off, not knowing the right phrase without sounding too harsh, “play around with girls? Like how Yoongi played around with Soobin?”

Hoseok looked at you with a raised brow.

“Who’s Soobin?” he asks before getting punched in the arm by Seokjin. “What the fuck bro!”

Seokjin clears his throat.

“What Hoseok meant to say,” he starts, glaring at his friend a little too harshly, “is that Yoongi never really introduces us to his girlfriends. You, on the other hand, are one of the few girls Jungkook actually took the time to invite over.”

“Yeah,” Hoseok chimes in. “He’s not exactly the most chivalrous, but he wouldn’t ghost someone like Yoongi did.”

Somehow their words weren’t enough to satisfy you. There was still something off in the conversation that transpired between the three boys- as if they were all keeping something from you. You stopped abruptly in front of your apartment complex, finally making eye-contact with the two boys.

“Do you think...” you start, a slight quiver in your voice, “that Jungkook is cheating on me?”

The two boys let out a deep breath that you didn’t even notice they were holding and laughed joyously together. They cackled as if what you said was the funniest thing they had ever heard in their life. Seokjin wipes a stray tear from his eye.

“Y-you think Jungkook’s cheating on you?!”

You nod, a little embarrassed at their reaction. Hoseok shakes his head, sighing out of his laughter.

“Trust me,” Hoseok starts, his breath evening out. “Jungkook would never cheat on you.”

You start to giggle along with them until a serious look suddenly takes over Seokjin’s features. He faces you fully.

“But listen [Y/N],” he starts. “If Jungkook hurts you, just know that he does love you. Like, undeniably. He does.”

“And we’re not just saying that as his friends either,” Hoseok continues. “We know how he’s like and we can tell that he really does like you.”

You smile at the two, feeling a small sense of comfort at their words.

“Thank you, guys. I mean it.”

They pat you on the back.

“Anything for Jungkook’s girlfriend.”

—

You walk through the campus cafeteria, eyes searching for a free table that you can sit alone in. Jungkook had Taekwondo practice so there would be no lovey-dovey feeding time with him. 

He’s been a lot tenser since the living room incident (which was already a week ago) and it seemed like he got more agitated as the days passed. Not towards you directly, but he’d always mutter slight insults whenever Yoongi or Taehyung passed by. It made you worried that you had done something to possibly drive a wrench into their relationship without even knowing it.

‘Whatever,’ you thought, ‘I’ll talk about it with him when he comes over later.’

You aren’t able to find a seat, though, when you feel dainty fingers wrap around  your elbow to pull you back lightly.

“[Y/N],” Gaeun says in a low voice. “We need to talk.”

It wasn’t like you had been ignoring them deliberately, though that was definitely the case at the start. You just couldn’t find the time to really hang out with them as much as you used to since you were with Jungkook most of the time. It was like that too when Gaeun and Soobin were in relationships, so you never really felt bad about doing it yourself.

“Yeah sure. I miss you guys,” you smile at her, but she doesn’t return it back.

“Come with me.”

Gaeun leads you to a table near the back of the room, where Soobin was sat up against the wall with her own tray of food. You sit down in front of her and Gaeun takes the seat next to Soobin.

“Good, you’re here,” Soobin says, apprehension laced in her voice. “We need to talk about Jungkook.”

You roll your eyes.

“Not this again-”

“[Y/N],” Gaeun warns. “Listen.”

You keep quiet, a little intimidated of how scary their expressions were.

“It’s all a bet,” Soobin says sternly.

You furrow your brows at her. She tends to speak vaguely when you needed her to be specific the most.

“What?”

“It’s a bet, [Y/N],” Gaeun repeats for her. “Jungkook’s only dating you because Taehyung said he’d pay his rent off if he did.”

You clench your fist on the table. How could they sit there and spew lies so easily?

“What are you guys-”

“Those dicks do this all the time,” Soobin rambles. “They play stupid games with girls just to fucking break their hearts later on and-”

“I don’t believe you,” you say confidently. “Jungkook would never do that to me. Besides-”

Gaeun didn’t even wait until you stopped talking to play a recording on her phone. The voices were familiar enough to recognize.

“So you’re telling me that Jungkook’s just fucking around with [Y/N] because he wants priority registration? You have to be fucking joking...”

You could tell from the sound of the person’s voice that it was Soobin. It sounded like she was putting on her clothes.

“Of course not. He’s doing it for priority registration and his rent getting paid for the rest of the year. I’m not joking when I say Tae goes big with his bets. He likes to flex his money on us like that.”

Your jaw drops at the sound of the man’s voice. It was Yoongi. You were sure of it.

“And you guys don’t feel bad? Like at all?”

“Why should we? Jungkook’s planning to break up with her next week anyway so she doesn’t catch feelings for too long. It’s not like they were gonna last past the three-month deal...”

Gaeun paused the recording when she sees you bite your lip so harshly that blood starts to surface. This didn’t feel right. It didn’t feel real.

“I hooked up with him last weekend,” Soobin admits, shame written all over her face. “He was spewing stuff about Jungkook spending all his time with you and not really hanging out with the boys like he used to.”

“You still hook up with Yoongi? After all he did to you?” you ask, not meaning to come off aggressive but undoubtedly did.

“Look,” Gauen starts, taking the heat off of Soobin. “She was just drunk and looking to have fun. I was with her that night and I was talking to Namjoon. He...”

Gaeun trailed off, but you were sick of it. Sick of being kept in the dark from something you should’ve known all along.

“What?”

“H-he told me that all the boys were getting tired of him playing around with you,” she says, twiddling with her fingers. “He’s supposed to break up with you today. Some of the guys think he’s just prolonging it to fuck with you and they’re getting really annoyed-”

You bite back the tears threatening to spill over any minute now.

“Hoseok and Seokjin told me to trust Jungkook. They said he wouldn’t hurt me-”

“Did they also tell you that their rent gets paid too if Jungkook pulled through with the bet?” Soobin replies angrily. “Because they live together, don’t they?”

You open your mouth but no sound comes out- just a small whimper. Your lips start to quiver and you bite your lip again to calm yourself down. When you had collected your thoughts, you glared up at the two girls.

“And you didn’t tell me this earlier?”

Soobin scoffed.

“You were fucking ignoring us too, how were we supposed to tell you?”

“Still it wouldn’t have killed you to-”

“Don’t take your anger out on us,” Gaeun warns, her finger pointing at you. “Jungkook is the one to blame. We told you from the start that he was bad news.”

You pursed your lips and Gaeun put her finger down, feeling guilty that she lashed out on you when obviously you were just processing the information.

“Hey, I’m sorry-”

“Why me?” you ask with teary eyes. “What did I even do to them to deserve this?” 

They glance over at each other for a long while before Soobin breaks the silence. You had the right to know, but at the same time, they knew it would break you.

“It’s a sick game that they play where they just choose someone randomly...” Soobin starts off gently handing off the next few words to Gaeun, “and you were just the first girl to walk into Professor Kwon’s lecture hall. He thought you’d be...”

“Easy,” Soobin finished.

Just as they predicted, you had burst out in tears.

—

Jungkook opens the door to your apartment, using the spare key you had given him a month earlier since he tended to visit often. It was more convenient that way. 

He was freshly out of his Taekwondo garb, still sweaty, but otherwise clean from taking a shower at the campus gym. He found it strange at how dark the room was, but he knew you were on the couch from the noticeable lump of a blanket on it.

All Jungkook wanted was to cuddle with you and fall asleep in your arms after such a harrowing day. Lord knows he needs your warmth right now.

He smiled as he made his way towards you, but stops in his tracks when you sit up from where you laid. He couldn’t quite see you in the darkness so he walked to the light switch to turn the lights on. His heart broke at the sight of you.

Tears stained your cheeks, your eyes red and puffy from all the crying. You looked a mess and his blood boiled at the thought of someone hurting you. 

“What happened?” he asked, rushing over to you and cupping your face in his hands. You push him away.

“You don’t have to act anymore,” you say softly. “I can handle it.”

He looks at you with furrowed brows.

“What are you talking about-”

“I get that you really need the money,” you say through bated breaths, “I get that financially, it would have really helped, but did you really have to hurt me to do that?”

Jungkook’s breathing stopped. Everything was happening too quickly, his world crashing down when you uttered those words. He knew what this meant, knew that now you would see past his lies. Jungkook couldn’t have you finding out this way. 

He kneeled in front of you, attempting to wipe away the tears from your eyes but you push him off.

“[Y/N] no-”

“It could’ve been anyone,” you whimper, trying to look up at the ceiling to prevent any more tears from falling down. “Anyone could’ve walked through that door and you would’ve been okay with it.”

“That’s not true-” he interjects but you stop him.

“A-and you flirted with me all the time ‘cause you knew that I wasn’t used to it,” you say, your voice quivering. “You took advantage of me.”

Jungkook shakes his head rapidly, eyes pleading for you to let him speak. It hurt seeing you refuse to even look at him, to have your eyes so filled with sadness because of what he did to you. He fucked up, he fucked up so bad.

“No, you have to listen-”

“They told me not to trust you,” you whimper somberly. “They told me and I didn’t believe them because I... I was delusional or something. I thought that someone like you could actually like someone like me-”

His heart broke. It wasn’t you that didn’t deserve him. It was him. All him.

“Please don’t say that-”

“Did you come here to seal the deal? To finally break up with me?” you ask sadly. “Are you happy you’ll get the classes you want next quarter, Jungkook?”

He clenches his teeth. Jungkook knows you’re mad, knows you have a right to be, but it feels like he’s being cornered by you. Why won’t you give him the chance to speak?

“[Y/N], no,” he says sternly, “You have to trust me when I say that it went past just a bet. I like you. Genuinely, I like you.”

There was no point in lying any longer. You deserved to know the truth, but he needed you to know all of it- not just the information your friends cherry-picked to fit their narrative. He tried to speak again, but you wouldn’t let him.

“How could you,” you whimper. “How could someone be so cruel?”

Jungkook’s heart breaks at the words. He should’ve seen this coming. How could he delude himself into thinking he’d be okay if you find out- that he’d be fine seeing you heartbroken? He was disgusted with himself.

“I’m sorry [Y/N],” he whispers. “I’m so sorry.”

You shake your head, your vision getting blurry from the tears. He clasps your hands in his, knowing that it used to soothe you whenever you felt worried over something, but you just wailed harder at his touch. He didn’t know what to do, he didn't even know where to start.

“Stop pretending like you care,” you cry. “Please. It hurts.”

“It was a bet,” he admits and he breaths through the words to prevent himself from getting too emotional, “but I promise that my feelings are genuine. You have to trust me.”

“Trust you?” you ask crudely.

You stare at him, slowing your breaths to ease the crying. There was a certain emptiness in your gaze and it scared him. It was awfully frightening having you looking at him with a certain animosity that was not there before. Like he was a stranger.

“I can’t do that anymore, Jungkook,” you say softly, “because I hate you.”

—

A/N: Gasp A double update?! Say it isn’t so... I had so much fun writing this!!! Probably one of my favorite fics I’ve written in a while because I love this trope. How do y’all feel about Jungkook? Forgive or forget? Let me know!! Thank you @altus-gens​ for requesting this story, I hope you like it :)

Please leave any comment, critiques, or just random thoughts about my story! I’m planning my murder mystery series rn and I’m so excited (I might... do an album giveaway along with it...) I really love the direction I’m taking this blog in and I hope you guys are excited for the stories to come~~ 

buy me a coffee?

#jungkook angst #jungkook fluff #bts angst #bts fluff #bts scenarios #bts scenario #jungkook scenarios #jungkook scenario #bts imagine #bts imagines #jungkook magine #angst #fluff #kpop angst #kpop fluff #bangtan boys #bts #jeon jungkook x reader #jungkook x reader #jeon jungkook #jungkook #kook #bts jungkook #bangtan angst #bangtan fluff #yoongi imagines #bangtan scenarios

[inlovewiththefictionalcharacters]

SURPRISE

Request: Have you ever seen Defending Jacob if so I would like to request for a sugar daddy Andy Barber x reader please and thankyou ☺️

Pairing: (Sugar daddy) Andy Barber x Reader

Warning(s): Language; Smut (kinda); 18+; Angst; Spanking (sorry bout that); Not proofread; Mean Andy Barber (kinda); Reader is of age (18+).

To the Anon who sent me this: I hope you like this one. I’m so sorry it took a lot of time to write this, but I was preoccupied with some other stuff. I hope this meets your expectations. I can only hope that you will like it.

A/N: I don’t know what monstrosity I wrote. I apologize in advance... I never wrote anything with sugar baby - sugar daddy settings and I didn’t find many fics on it either. I hope you guys will like it.

*****

She never thought that she’ll end up doing this in her life. Becoming a sugar baby to someone. She didn’t want to do it. She didn’t like decision, but she don’t even have any other options left. With having no support from her parents, just because she chose to take an entirely different career path from what her parents wanted her to, her parents practically disowned her, kicking her to the curb. 

That left her juggling two part time jobs along with college that left her so exhausted that sometimes, all she wanted was to never get out of her bed. Her paychecks barely met her rent and other expenses, apart from the tuition fees. But here she was, being a sugar baby to this man - Andy Barber.

She met Andy Barber in the most unconventional way when compared to how many other sugar babies met their sugar daddies. The first time she met him was when she was working on her shift at the diner and he happened to be at the place then. She ended up serving him for that night. The first time, Andy was polite and smiled at her whenever their gazes met. He was all alone by himself. 

The second time she met him, was once again during her shift at the diner and coincidentally happened to serve him, yet once again. He was alone again and the diner didn’t have many customers that night. Andy started conversing with her, asking her how her day was and other random stuff that none of the customers she served to did. 

The third time she met him was once again at the same diner which was practically empty that night, apart from the the cute teenage couple that was all googly eyes at each other. Instead of her, her coworker walked towards him to take his order and serve him, but then returned back to the counter with a confused expression, making Y/N look at her with a frown.

“He asked for you, today. You can cover him. I’ll take care of the teenage lovebirds” Tara said.

With a smile, Y/N walked towards Andy to take his order. 

That night, Andy asked her to join him. She stilled hearing that. That’s very unusual and she didn’t know what to do. A quick glance at Tara who also happens to be near enough to hear what Andy asked received her a nod from Tara.

Nervously, she looked at Andy and said “Let me just place your order. I’ll join you after that.”

Andy smiled in response. After spending some time with her, Andy paid for the both of them, much to her disdain and walked out of the diner after thanking her for giving him company. But what surprised her the most that day was finding Andy outside the diner when she completed her shift. He was just standing there, waiting for her and she blinked at him, flabbergasted and slightly taken aback to see him there. With a gentle smile, he approached her and convinced her to let her take him somewhere else.

They ended up in a quaint little ice cream parlor with a scoop each of their favorite ice-creams and yet again, he managed to pay the bill before she could. The place was empty, given the late hour and they still took their seats far away to not be heard or disturbed by anyone who could pop in.

That’s when Andy broke the news to her, him propositioning to be her sugar daddy. Y/N was shocked to hear this. She didn’t know what to expect when he took her there, but she definitely wasn’t expecting that.

“Look, I just want you to give me company, that’s pretty much it. I don’t expect anything else from you. It sucks going home to no one, living alone for these many years. I just want you to be with me whenever I want to” he told her.

He told her that he wanted to spoil her, shower her with gifts. He told her that she wouldn’t have to worry about paying rents or making ends meet and he’ll be the one to worry her, also popping out that she’s going to live with him rather than that shitty hole of an apartment she lived in. He told her that she wouldn’t have to juggle those part time jobs anymore and can invest that time on her career and him. 

The career aspect of his speech must have been what made her think about the deal. If not for that, she would have probably said a flat out no. But still, she asked him some time to think about it to which she agreed. But that didn’t stop him from meeting her everyday, giving her a glimpse of how her life could be if she agreed to be his sugar baby, adding his charm to everything he did. 

That must have been it and within a week, she agreed to the deal and by the end of the month, Andy had her settled in his house. It felt odd, still did to find most of her favorite things handed out to her, without even asking for it. All she had to do was just be with him whenever he’s home and let him take care of her. That included going shopping, buying gifts and taking her out to places in and out of the city, impromptu included. But the best part was hanging out with each other that slowly turned into cuddle sessions. Both of them loved those.

It was during one of those moments when she first kissed him. It was a spur of the moment kiss. Both of them were cuddling, looking at a cheesy romantic movie that she put on. They were talking about a scene in the movie and turned their heads to look at each other while talking. She didn’t even know when they stopped talking and gazed into each others’ eyes, glancing at each others’ lips too.  Without even thinking, she pressed her lips against his.

Andy was still for a moment. When she realized what she did, she was quick to break apart from him, apologizing profusely, but got cut off by him when he dragged her back to him and kissed the hell out of her. One thing lead to another and the both of them ended up rolling in the sheets on the bed. 

She didn’t notice when things got complicated on her part, but when she did, it was too late. She caught feelings for Andy and didn’t even know when she fell in love with him. She loved everything about him, inside and out. That’s when her fear started too. She feared about the time she had to part ways with him. She wasn’t a fool. Arrangements like these almost never lasts long. She wasn’t sure if she’d be able to mend her broken heart and live with it. 

That’s when she started holding herself back, going reserved and formal making Andy frown every time she did it. When he asked her about it, she just brushed him off, saying it was just the stress due to college. But that continued even after the exams, days after the summer break has started. That’s when Andy thought that it was about time they go somewhere out and took her to the Caribbean. A getaway from all their worries where all they have to do is enjoy the sun and themselves. 

It didn’t escape Andy’s scrupulous observation - the way she was behaving, like she was holding back, scared of something. He knew something was bugging her and he made a resolve to fix that before they leave, back to Newton.

Andy was sitting in the balcony of the room they were in, enjoying the gorgeous sunset that it offered along with the glorious view of the beach when Y/N awkwardly walked out, to the balcony.

“Hey, you” Andy greeted, looking at her and was met with a shy and awkward smile and a small hey was told to him.

She was about to sit on the chair beside him when he grabbed her hand, saying “Sit with me,” and pulling her into his lap.

She was stiff for a moment but eventually leaned into him, the both of them enjoying the sunset while he kept caressing her hair, her back and her arm. He smiled when she nuzzled into him, but it quickly turned into a frown when she suddenly stilled. 

“What’s wrong?” he asked, looking down at her.

“N-Nothing” she replied and quickly stood up.

“Where are you going?” he asked, sitting straight when he saw her leaving.

“Inside” she replied and walked back into the room.

Cussing under his breath, he stood up and followed her.

“Look, if something’s bothering you, you can tell me” he told her.

“Nothing’s bothering me, Andy” she told, letting her hands run through the non-existent creases on her sundress.

Andy narrowed his eyes at her.

“Seriously, Y/N?!” “Now you’re lying to me?” “Is it something that I did?” “Tell me what’s bothering you!” he kept asking and telling her but she didn’t say anything, dodging all of his questions.

“I said nothing’s bothering me, Andy!” she exclaimed.

“Bullshit!” he called out her bluff.

She just huffed rolling her eyes and he narrowed his, looking at her.

“I need some air” she muttered and turned around to leave, but he was quick to walk towards her with huge steps and grabbed her arm.

“Oh, no. You’re not going anywhere until you tell me what’s bothering you so much” Andy said.

“Seriously, Andy! Let go!” she exclaimed, tugging her arm from his grip, but he tightened his hold on her and walked towards the bed.

He sat on the edge of the bed and within the blink of the eye, she was across his knee. He raised the skirt of her dress, bunching it up by her torso and pulled her panties down her legs, puddling them on the floor.

“Andy! What are you doing?!” she gasped.

He just caressed her naked butt, squeezing it every now and then while she kept wiggling, trying to get out of his hold, but his grip was tight on her. 

“Y/N” he said, his voice calm, reminding her of the calmness that comes before a storm. 

“Now, tell me what’s bothering you” Andy told her.

“Nothing!” she exclaimed, lying through her teeth, still wiggling.

Andy’s eyes hardened and he grabbed her arms by the wrists and held them at her back, obstructing her movements.

“Fine then. If you don’t tell me, I’ll get it out of you, myself” he said coldly and his hand left her butt but her breath was quickly knocked out of her lungs when his hand met her butt-cheek with a sharp slap. 

That was the first time he ever did that to her. The cheek burned while her lips parted in shock and her entire body stilled for a second. Andy caressed the other cheek and slapped it too, with more force than the first spank and a low whimper got caught in her throat. He kept delivering the spanks to each cheek alternatively. She didn’t know how many times he did that. She didn’t bother to count. Her mind was too much in shock to even register that.

After some time, Andy stopped spanking her, seeing the tears that pooled in her eyes. He hated doing this, hurting her but he didn’t like it one bit when she withdrew herself from him. He knew that he had to fix whatever that is bothering her. He can’t bear it when she’s troubled. 

He softly caressed her but cheeks and asked “Are you going to tell me what’s been bothering you, now, sweetheart?”

Y/N scowled, with tears in her eyes and replied a resonating “No!”

Andy chuckled hearing that.

“Well, at least it’s a no this time and not a nothing” he said and her eyes widened hearing it.

“That’s progress” he added and hummed letting his fingers go down to her folds.

“Someone’s been enjoying this” he said, his fingers playing with her with folds while she squirmed.

His fingers soon found her clit and kept rubbing tight circles on it, making a coil form in her stomach and just before it was about to snap, he stopped, making her whimper.

“Are you going to tell me now?” he asked her slowly.

She just turned her head away is response.

It wasn’t long before he started playing with her folds again, dipping his finger into the wet hole, thrusting into it. He edged her four times like that, stopping right before she could climax and asking her if she’s gonna tell him and she’d just whimper or groan in response, shaking her head. The fifth time he edged her and stopped right before the orgasm hit her, she kicked her legs, crying, her lady parts sensitive, her body flushed.

“I don’t like being mean to you, sweetheart. Please tell me what’s bothering you” he told her softly, leaning down and kissing the back of her head. 

And she told him, bearing her heart out to him. She told him that she loved him and was scared that in the end she’d end up with a broken heart and was trying to protect herself from it, that she knew that these type of arrangements - what they had usually don’t last and was scared that she’d end up trying to mend her heart back while sobbing. He eventually let her hands go, but made her sit in his lap while she cried into his shoulder, all the while he kept caressing her back, her hair while kissing the side of her head. He waited till her cries stopped to break the news to her.

“You had me worried there, baby. And I thought it was something that I did” he said, making her sit straight in his lap and look at him with a frown etched on her face.

“You’re not calling off the arrangement?” she asked him, looking dumbfound.

Andy laughed in response and cupped her face, saying “And let you go? Never! I fucking love you and I’m never going to let you go. You’re stick with me sweetheart, and got me wrapped around your finger,” and kissed her passionately, pouring all his love and feelings for her.

#Defending Jacob #andy barber x reader #andy barber #sugar daddy andy barber #sugar daddy! andy barber #sugar daddy!andy barber #smut #mean andy barber

[interstellarflowers]

Professor Parker Ch. 1| Professor, Peter Parker x Student, Reader

a/n this fic doesn’t follow the marvel cinematic universe but assume that peter has been what he’s been through with the exception that tony lived, and bruce is still bruce, sorry but i just can't deal with endgame hulk/bruce rn emotionally or mentally. im sorry nat is still dead but dw i'll actually treat it with respect unlike endgame like goddamn where was her funeral, am i right? the stages of grief thing they did was interesting though. im sorry i digress, this is set in nyc (because heyo im a new yorka) and the avengers/stark tower is still a thing, peter is fucking traumatized and has turned kind of cold as a result. this fic may contain a smut chapter in the future? not sure yet, where this fic goes depends on the feedback, thanks for reading also sorry im not the proudest of this first chapter so ill probably edit it but promise itll only improve from here just not in the best mental state rn

University life wasn’t exactly everything that you imagined it to be. There was hardly time to do anything that people claimed was good about coming to university. The parties, the epic heartbreaks, and romances, they were just nowhere to be seen. In fact, there was nothing particularly extravagant about your experience thus far. You went to class, studied, and went to your internship. Your internship was probably the most exciting thing about your life at the moment, you were lucky to be accepted into the Stark Industries student internship, the company paid college tuition and only required around twenty hours of lab work a week, you couldn’t complain. Of course, the exciting part of the whole ordeal was the name attached to it, “Stark,” not that you had ever met him, but it was nice to have a unique feature like that in such an impressive student body.

So here you were on the first day of your third year of university. You lived off-campus, about a five-minute walk from the Stark Tower, but a twenty-minute subway ride to your campus. However, having an 882 square foot space to yourself was really nothing you could truly complain about despite the distance. The studio apartment being yet another benefit reaped from Stark Industries. Thank you Tony Stark, the unseen benevolent God in your life.

Typically you would start your mornings off quietly and in no rush, a shower, a cup of coffee, maybe some studying before heading off to your campus, but your phone had other plans for you today. Instead of your alarm going off like it was supposed to, you were woken up by the sound of a particularly loud car horn, and oh how grateful you were for that. As soon as you were jolted awake you shifted to grab your phone and turned it over to see an alarming 8:40am glaring back at you.

Holy shit. You were late.

You scrambled out of bed nearly face planting several times in your hurry to get dressed and only barely ran out the door with everything you needed at 8:47am.

By the time you managed to get to the subway and clamor onto the right train it was already 8:55am. Out of breath and panicking, you considered your options. You could explain after class, you could shoot an email, there were a plethora of things you could do but none of them seemed to justify being late as a third-year to a level 500 class. You had googled all of your professors while registering for classes as was common practice. You couldn’t find a RateMyProfessor on Professor...Parker? You were pretty sure it was Professor Parker, but you do remember seeing on the STEM department page that he was currently a Ph.D. student, so you could only hope that as a fellow student he would be at least a little understanding towards your lateness.

You stood outside of the lecture hall huffing and trying to catch your breath at 9:32am, psyching yourself up, you pushed open the door to the class and attempted to go unnoticed. The class was in a lecture hall despite being only composed of around thirty students, so if you were lucky maybe nobody would even see-

“Ms.(y/l/n), I presume?.” Shit.

“Professor Parker?” Shit.

“You are aware that class starts at 9am, and not 9:30am, would this be correct Ms.(y/l/n)?”

“Yes, Professor, it’s just that I had an emergency.” The lying route. Not exactly the highlight of your academic career.

“I regret to inform you that I only take valid excuses Ms.(y/l/n), please take a seat, and next time, don’t bother disrupting class halfway through the lesson.” Fuck. You mustered a quiet “ok,” and a small nod before escorting yourself to the back of the room, thirty-something eyes following you until you sat down.

You couldn’t focus for the rest of the class, it was just too embarrassing, time moved forward but you couldn’t help but be stuck on what had just happened. For the first ten minutes after sitting down you felt like dropping out of the whole class out of sheer fucking humiliation. This was of course before you reminded yourself that this class was a requirement to graduate in your field of study. You quietly bargained with yourself before sighing quietly and settling on the conclusion that Professor Parker was just a dick. A dick who certainly didn’t deserve the satisfaction of you switching out of his class. If he wanted to be like that, you decided, you would simply return the favor.

“I know, Ms.(y/ln), why don’t you tell us DeBroglie’s equation?”

“With pleasure, Professor Parker.” Yeah, you’d return the favor alright.

“Ms.(y/l/n), you stay.” Fuck that. You looked the other way and feigned ignorance as you kept making your way towards the door. About to leave, the door shut on your face.

“What the fuck!” You jumped before turning around and you felt your face heat up.

“Ms.(y/l/n), please refrain from using profanities in my classroom.”

“I’m sorry Professor Parker. I was just startled.”

“Mhm,” he took his glasses off and laid them on his desk, “Just don’t do it in the future Ms.(y/l/n).”

“Of course. My name is (y/n), by the way, Professor Parker, you can just call me that, actually, I prefer that people refer to me by (y/n).”

“Rest assured, I’m aware of your name, Ms.(y/l/n). My name is Peter, but you can continue to call me Professor Parker.” You could have sworn that you saw a ghost of a smirk on his lips. He knew what he was fucking doing, asshole. You held back from rolling your eyes into the back of your head.

“Of course, Professor Parker.”

“As you know, Ms.(y/l/n), I did request that you stay after class.”

“Oh? I sincerely apologize Professor Parker, I really didn’t hear you.”

“I’m sure, Ms.(y/l/n).” Fucking. Dick.

“Well, what exactly did you want Professor Parker? I do have another class soon.” Professor Parker narrowed his eyes at you in obvious distaste before reaching behind himself into a bin underneath his desk and pulling out a stack of papers,

“These are the handouts you missed from the beginning of the class. Textbook requirements, syllabus...Crucial information to have if you care to succeed in my class Ms.(y/l/n).” So coldly, so maliciously, Professor Parker placed the stack into your arms.

“I take my work very seriously, Ms.(y/l/n), I do my part as your professor so I only have the simple request that my students do the same.” You nodded feeling your face heat up again.

“Of course, Professor Parker, it won’t happen again,” you said with a tightlipped smile.

“Mhm,” Professor Parker turned around and began shuffling around some paper and without giving you a second glance said, “You are dismissed.” You nodded and hurriedly made your way out of his classroom. Of course, you had lied. You didn’t have another class until late in the afternoon. So you called your coworker instead,

“Hey, Harvey.”

“(y/n).”

“Wow, okay, don’t get too excited.”

“Sorry, just woke up.”

“Tsk, the early bird gets the worm, Harvey.”

“I don’t want a worm.”

“Fuck you. I’m headed to the lab, can I expect you?”

“Yeah, yeah.” You had been working with Harvey for around four years now, he was quite the impressive specimen, having attended MIT and graduating Summa Cum Laude at age 20 was no easy feat, he was closer to Tony Stark than you would ever get, he was quite personable, and you couldn’t deny that he was quite good looking. You’d never tell him that though, he didn’t need another ego boost. Besides, you had some connections of your own.

“Hey, (y/n).”

“Banner!”

“Can we expect Harvey today?”

“Honestly, not sure.” You both knowingly smiled at each other before you made your way over to what he was working on,

“Do you ever get bored here?”

“With you and the other idiot always running around? How could I?” You laughed,

“No, seriously, like wouldn’t you rather be doing nerd shit with Tony or something? Isn’t it a little tiresome babysitting us?”

“Tiring? Maybe sometimes, but not nearly as tiring as doing ‘nerd shit’ with Tony. He’s exhausting,” Bruce smiled at his own joke, “I don’t mind playing babysitter at all kid.” He fiddled with the handle of a mug that read, “Don’t be so Na Cl,” which you had gotten him a year back as a joke, but he still used it.

You really loved Bruce for all he was. Since losing your family back in 2012 during the battle in NYC, you didn’t really have any familial figures. But since landing this internship you found yourself with a parental figure again, and you would never be able to put into words how much it meant to you, so you didn’t. Besides, you didn’t want him to feel pressured about it, especially after everything he had been through himself. Frying half your body and losing the love of your life in such a short span of time was really nothing less than horrifying. Yet, here he was, smiling, laughing...You loved him for it.

“First day of junior year? How was that?”

“Shit.”

“Huh?” Bruce stopped tinkering with the device in his hands and looked over at you, “I’ve never heard of a course being too hard for (y/n) (y/l/n), what is it? Aerospace? Quantum?”

“No, just one giant dick.”

“Pardon-”

“My professor, he’s a fucking asshole.”

“Ah, I see. If he’s really harassing you (y/n), I don’t mean to overstep, I really think we should alert administration, what’s his name?” Bruce took a sip of his coffee.

“Professor Parker,” Bruce choked on his coffee, “Oh my God, Bruce, are you okay?”

“Yeah-” he said, still coughing, “Just a little too strong.”

“Okay, are you sure?”

“Yeah, yeah,” Bruce caught his breath, “What did he do kid?”

“He’s just a dick that’s all.”

“You sure you don’t want me to do something about it?”

“Yeah, it’s fine, I don’t know what you could do anyways. Thank you though.”

“Actually, you’d be surprised.”

Sitting at your desk stressing over school work at 3am, it was nothing out of the ordinary for you. Everything appeared ordinary. The ordinary cup of tea, the familiar glow of your computer, and a morning chill creeping through your window. It was all so breathtakingly normal until there was a rap on your window. You took an earbud out of your ear, certain you were just hearing things, you looked to your window. Holy shit.

You opened your window wide so that he could crawl in.

“(y/n)?”

“Mr.Spiderman.” Still too in shock to fully process the situation you started to take in the scene in front of you,

“Please, it’s just Spiderman.”

“Oh-Oh my God, what happened?” Head to toe the suit seemed to have blood seeping through, tears in the body of the suit revealed gashes and a bullet wound.

“Bad guys. I know this guy-said he knew a medical student close by, you are (y/n)? Right?”

“Y-Yeah, but I’m really just a student, I’m not really a prof-”

“This guy, he said you might as well be.”

“I don’t know Mr.Spiderman, really, maybe I could take you to the hospital though.”

“-Spiderman, it’s just Spiderman, listen, (y/n), you know I can’t go to a hospital, it would ruin this whole secret identity thing I got going on here, and this guy, he’s probably the smartest guy I know, so if he says you can handle it, you can.” You swallowed and nodded,

“Yeah-” you wring your hands together, “Yeah-Sorry, let me go get my first aid kit.”

#tom holland x reader #peter parker #peter parker x reader #tom holland #spiderman #spiderman x reader #marvel #marvel x reader #bruce banner #tony stark #iron man #idk #sorry #ill prolly rewrite this seven times

[a3hastakenovermylife]

Ok, I like to imagine that Tenma gives really expensive gifts to people in the company, especially his own troupe.  

This isn’t because he’s trying to flaunt his wealth or anything like that.  In fact, I doubt the thought even crosses his mind, he probably doesn't even realize how it comes off.  

Tenma has been famous for the majority of his life, and even before he was an actor himself, his parents were.  I imagine that he’s had very few real friendships in his life, if any at all.  Most people who approach him either do it because he's famous or rich, and sometimes both.  Very few do it to get to know him as a person, but to ask how cool it was to star in one film or another.  

I imagine that this was why he was so adverse to the whole ‘teamwork’ and ‘friendship’ part of theatre in the beginning.  He’s used to being treated as a professional, and that means more than just having skill, he’s also expected to perform the job he was hired to do, and nothing else.  He doesn't have to get along with his coworkers, and nobody expected him to.  The only thing that anyone has ever expected him to do, including his own parents, was to act, and to act well.  That’s always been his responsibility, and his alone.

I’d say that this is the reason that he never really learned to work and interact with others.

That being said, Tenma has grown close to his troupe mates and the rest of the company.  He’s really learned to coexist and have fun living in the dorms, and he couldn’t be happier there.  So, when he hears Kazunari pout about having to do all his course work in his stiff desk chair and with the mouse on his laptop, naturally, Tenma wants to help him out.  

Not that he would ever admit that fact aloud.  No, he’d probably just say that he was tired of hearing his complaining or some other stupid excuse that nobody in their right mind would believe for even a second.  

Obviously, the most natural, and logical reaction to hearing your friend gripe about about his stiff desk chair, to to buy him the most ergonomic, posture fixing, comfortable desk chair that money can buy, and a professional drawing tablet to do art on because he doesn't like working with the mouse.  

Except, that is how Tenma sees it.  He’s had money his whole life, and he realizes that the others don’t.  He’s also never had anything he’s truly wanted to spend his money on, other than just the basic luxuries for his own life.  He has the money and he has a friend that could use a nice new drawing tablet that probably costs more than Kazu could ever afford to buy for himself on top of college tuition.

So, no big deal.  He buys the stuff, for no other occasion than the fact that he felt like doing it.  When the stuff arrives at the dorm, and Tenma just shows up in Kazu and Muku’s room, with a very helpful Misumi in toe, carrying the huge box with the chair in it (Tenma paid extra for it to come preassembled, he's no handyman after-all.), and pulls out the gifts, Kazunari nearly flips out.  

“Whoa, whoa, whoa!  Ok, hold on a sec, this is for me?  Tenma, not that this isn’t super cool and everything, but why?!”  

Tenma blinked, and realized suddenly that he hadn't really thought at all about how to explain the gifts to Kazunari.  His mind whirred for a moment, trying to come up with any excuse that sounded believable. 

 Nothing, he couldn’t come up with anything.

Kazunari tilted his head at Tenma, studying him strangely.  “Somethin’ wrong, Tenten?”

Yeah, he’d been quiet for way too long to seem normal. 

Tenma looked away with a huff. “I felt like buying them, so I did.  They’re yours now, do what you want with them.  Use them, don't use them.  I don't care.  I’m going back to my room.” At that, without another word, Tenma turned on his heel and walked out of Kazunari and Muku’s room and as soon as he was out of sight started speed walking in the direction he thought his and Yuki’s room was...

Tenma didn't see Kazunari again until it was dinnertime, and Kazunari came to the table late.  

“Oh, Kazunari.  There you are, there's a plate for you on the counter.”  Omi commented from his seat at the table, in front of his own half-finished plate.  Tenma glanced over to the entrance, and couldn’t help a grin at the sight he saw.  Kazunari was walking to the table, but he was doing so slowly while he was entranced by the tablet in his hands, clearly intensely focused on the device.

“Thanks Omimi, I’ll grab it in just a sec.”  Kazu said cheerily, but still without looking up from the device, when he crossed the threshold to the kitchen, he just leaned against the counter and continued his work.  Omi just chuckled at the odd sight.

“Just don’t wait too long or the food will get cold.”  Omi commented with a grin.  The others at the table shared confused glances.  After another few minutes of Kazu just standing there, drawing away, lost to the world, the Director had had enough. 

“Kazunari, what’s that you've got there?”  The Director asked with a slightly concerned inflection to her voice.  That got Kazunari to look up from the tablet.  

“Oh, it’s a drawing tablet!  Seriously, can't tell you how long I’ve wanted one, and even for drawing tablets this one is friggin’ awesome!  This tablet is actually insane, no joke, insane.  If I weren't so excited, I’d be afraid to even touch something this expensive.”  Kazunari beamed, even for as bright as he usually was, it didn’t hold a candle to how bright he was shining now.  Tenma almost wanted to squint just from the exposure.  

Still, hearing that, it was impossible for Tenma not to feel a little giddy.  He was sure he was blushing a little, he ducked his head down to hide it the best he could, he just hoped none of the others would notice, at least they were all focused on Kazunari for the moment.

“Speaking of the tablet,”  Kazunari trotted over to where Tenma was sitting.  “I still don't know what possessed you to do this, but seriously dude, thanks!  This little tablet here will probably have me set until I finish my degree, and not having to worry about replacing my laptop in a year or two is a serious weight off my shoulders!”  Kazunari said it in the same cheery voice he always spoke, except this time there was a clear undertone of sincerity.  It was clear that it meant a lot to him, a lot more than Tenma had expected it to.  

Yep, he was definitely blushing now, and everyone knew it.

Just great....

#a3! game #a3! actor training game #a3! imagines #a3 headcanons #a3! tenma #a3 summer troupe #a3! kazunari #a3! omi #a3! misumi #a3! fanfic #a3! ideas #do I self impose my own experiences as an artist on Kazu #yes I do #I have more Tenma gets really expensive gifts ideas #and an especially sweet one for muku #so I might make this a series #fluff

[bechloeislegit]

25 Days of BeChloe Christmases - 2020

Day 21 - Santa's Workshop

Prompt from FanFiction User nweeks3: HS AU: Beca and Chloe get holiday temp jobs working as elves for a department store Santa. I kind of did my own thing with this one; I hope you like it.

"Come on, Beca," Chloe said. "I think you look adorable."

"Why did I agree to this?" Beca whined.

"Because you wanted to earn some extra money to buy your mom a nice Christmas gift."

"But an elf? Seriously?" Beca said. "Could my day get any worse?"

"Hey, Mitchell," Stacie said. "Looking hot."

"I just told her the same thing," Chloe said.

"I look stupid," Beca said. "At least Chloe is covered up as Mrs. Claus. These elf costumes make us look like we should be dancing on a pole out front."

"Oh, that sounds great," Stacie said. "I can use the practice for my job when I go to college."

"You're planning to be a pole dancer after graduation?" Beca asked.

"I have to make money some way," Stacie said. "Not all of us have rich parents or a daddy who works at a college and can get you free tuition, plus room and board."

"Sorry, Stacie," Beca said. "I didn't mean anything by it."

"Meh, don't worry about it. It's forgotten," Stacie said. "We'd better hurry. Santa's Workshop opens in like twenty minutes."

"I know," Chloe said. "The kids are already lined up."

"Is Santa here yet?" Aubrey asked.

"I haven't seen him," Beca said.

"Neither have I," Chloe said. "I'll go find Mr. Comstock and see if he knows where Santa is."

"I'll go with you, Mrs. Claus," Aubrey said, as she followed Chloe.

"Dammit," Stacie as she dug through her bag.

"What's wrong?"

"I forgot my tights," Stacie said. "Do you have an extra pair?"

"No, sorry. Check Aubrey's bag," Beca said. "She might have an extra pair in there."

"I'm not just going to go through Brey's stuff," Stacie said. "You know how uptight she is about people messing with her stuff. I'm going to find her and ask her if she has an extra pair."

"Okay," Beca said.

Stacie left and Beca was adjusting her elf costume when the guy playing Santa came staggering in.

"Hey, cutie," Santa said. "Want to sit on Santa's lap."

"Gross," Beca mumbled. "Dude, you're drunk. And you need to sober up. The kids and their parents will know something's up if you stagger out there like that."

"Here, catch," Santa said and threw a candy cane at Beca.

Beca missed it and it fell behind her, breaking when it hit the floor. She turned and bent over to pick it up and, much to Beca's surprise, Santa grabbed her ass.

Beca didn't even think, she just came up swinging. Her fist landed on Santa's cheek, and he fell back, unconscious by the time he hit the floor. Beca ran over and knelt next to him.

That's where Beca was when Mr. Comstock, the store manager, came in.

"What the hell happened in here?" Mr. Comstock asked Beca.

"He came in drunk," Beca said. "And then he grabbed my ass so I punched him."

"Are you okay?" Mr. Comstock asked.

"Um, yeah," Beca said, surprised Mr. Comstock hadn't started yelling at her.

"I'm glad," Mr. Comstock said, bending down to look at Santa. "He's out cold, so I'm going to need you to be Santa."

Beca looked at him and shook her head. "No, uh-uh. No way!"

"You're the one who knocked out Santa," Mr. Comstock said.

"Because he grabbed my ass," Beca said. "You're lucky I don't sue the store for attempted sexual assault by one of your employees."

"If you play Santa, it pays an extra five bucks an hour," Mr. Comstock said. "And he won't be an employee here anymore. Once he wakes up, he's fired. And, until I can find a replacement, I'll need you to take over for today. We have an extra Santa costume that should fit you."

"Ask Stacie to do it," Beca said. "She can use the money."

"No offense," Mr. Comstock said. "But she's too sexy and I'll have bigger problems on my hands if she goes all Stacie on any of the dads or older guys who visit Santa. I really need your help on this, Beca. Please? I'm begging here."

"I'll do it," Beca said. "But you have to give Stacie the extra five bucks an hour and don't tell her why."

"It's done," Mr. Comstock said. "You need to get changed. Santa's Workshop opens in five minutes."

Beca took the Santa costume Mr. Comstock handed to her. She changed and was unrecognizable when Chloe, Aubrey, and Stacie came back in.

"There you are, Santa," Chloe said, looking around as she came in. "Where's Beca?"

Santa smile and shrugged; Chloe frowned. "She must be in the bathroom. We can't wait for her." Chloe grabbed Santa's sleeve. "Come on, it's time for Santa to start meeting all the boys and girls."

Beca didn't say anything. Aubrey and Stacie went out first to announce Santa and Mrs. Claus' arrival. As soon as the kids starting cheering, Beca and Chloe walked out. Chloe took her place next to Santa's chair and Beca sat down.

"Ho, Ho, Ho," Beca said, lowering her voice.

"Beca?" Chloe whispered, looking down at Santa.

Beca put a finger to her lips and smiled at Chloe. Chloe smiled back as Beca said, "Who wants to tell Santa what they want for Christmas?"

The kids started yelling, "Me! Me! Me!"

Chloe looked over at Stacie.

"Elf Stacie," Chloe said. "Could you bring Santa's first guest over to see him?"

Stacie led the first little girl over to Santa. Aubrey got behind the camera to take the photos.

There were so many kids in line to see Santa, that the girls worked continuously until almost one before they could take a short break.

Mrs. Claus announced that there would be a break while Santa fed the reindeer. The kids and adults groaned when Beca stood and said, "Stay where you are in line and I'll be back in no time. Okay?"

"Okay!" several kids called out.

Beca smiled and led Chloe, Stacie, and Aubrey behind Santa's Workshop.

"I'm starving," Beca said. "Do we have time to eat before we have to get back out there?"

"I got you covered, Santa," Chloe said, opening her locker. "Having done this last year, I came prepared."

Chloe pulled out a small cooler-type bag and pulled out some sandwiches and drinks. She handed one to each of the girls and kept one for herself.

"I have to say, Beca," Aubrey said. "I honestly didn't realize you were Santa until about an hour after we started. You're really convincing."

"She's right, Beca," Stacie said. "How did you become Santa in the short time we left you alone?'

Beca told them about Santa being drunk and handsy and her knocking him out.

"Are you okay?" Chloe asked, pulling Beca into a hug.

"I'm fine," Beca said. "I just have to be Santa until they find a decent replacement."

"You're doing great, Becs," Chloe said. "Plus, Santa gets paid more. You should ask if you can keep the job."

"I'll have to think about that," Beca said. "Thanks for the food. We should probably get back out there. We still have like two more hours before the next shift starts."

The next two hours flew by and the next group of Santa and his elves took over Santa's Workshop.

~~ Day 21 of the 25 Days of BeChloe Christmases - 2020 ~~

The following weekend, Beca was driving Chloe home from the mall after their shift as Santa and Mrs. Claus.

"I can't believe you told Mr. Comstock to give Stacie the extra five dollars an hour you get as Santa," Chloe said.

"I consider it an investment in her future," Beca said. "Plus, now that everyone knows, she owes me big. I just need to figure out what she owes me."

"I knew there was an ulterior motive," Chloe said with a laugh.

"Maybe I should ask her to help me find a date for the Winter Dance," Beca said. "She's a cheerleader and knows all the pretty girls."

Chloe stopped laughing and scoffed as she stared out the front window. She started fidgeting and became anxious, and kept stealing glances over at Beca.

"Are you okay, Chlo?" Beca finally asked.

"What?" Chloe asked, somewhat startled. "Oh, yeah. I'm fine."

"Are you sure?" Beca asked, glancing over at Chloe.

"Yeah," Chloe said and sighed. "I want to ask you something, but I'm afraid of how you'll react."

"Chloe," Beca said, glancing over at her. "We've been friends forever. You know you can ask or tell me anything, right?"

"I know," Chloe said, quietly.

Beca continued to drive, waiting for Chloe to tell her what was on Chloe's mind. Beca pulled up to Chloe's house and turned off the car. She unbuckled her seat belt and turned to face Chloe.

"Come on, Chlo, talk to me," Beca said. "What's going on? You seem really anxious and that's so unlike you."

"I'm sorry," Chloe said, reaching for the door handle. "I should probably get inside. I'm already late and my mom probably has dinner ready."

Before Beca can figure out what's happening, Chloe was out of the car and hurrying up the steps to her front door. Beca sighed and started the car. As soon as Chloe disappeared inside, Beca drove off.

~~ Day 21 of the 25 Days of BeChloe Christmases - 2020 ~~

At school on Monday, Beca was talking to Stacie before Homeroom.

"And she just got out of the car and went inside?" Stacie asked.

"Yep," Beca responded.

"What were you talking about just before she got anxious?" Stacie asked, leaning her shoulder against her locker.

"You, actually," Beca said with a chuckle.

"Me?"

"Yes, you," Beca said. "She said something about me having Mr. Comstock give you the extra five dollars an hour that I would have gotten by playing Santa."

"Thank you again for that, by the way," Stacie said.

"You deserve it, Stace," Beca said. "If anyone should go to college, it's you. I consider it an investment. Although, it might only pay for one of your application fees."

"Yeah, maybe," Stacie said. "It's still a nice gesture."

"I would have done the same for Chloe or Aubrey," Beca said. "If they needed it."

"I really do appreciate it," Stacie said. "And I owe you for being so nice. Tell me how I can repay you?"

"Wellllll," Beca said, laughing. "I jokingly told Chloe I was going to ask you to help me get a date for the Winter Formal. Because you know all the pretty girls."

"Did you say that to Chloe before or after she started getting anxious?"

"Before, I think," Beca said, furrowing her brow. "Yeah, it was definitely before."

"It all makes sense now," Stacie said.

"It does?" Beca asked. "How?"

"Chloe wants to be your date to the Winter Formal," Stacie said.

"What?!" Beca practically yelled, causing several students to look at her.

"Everything okay, Beca?" Chloe asked, startling Beca, as she and Aubrey joined Beca and Stacie.

"What?" Beca asked. "Oh, yeah. Everything's fine. Are you okay? I mean you seemed a little off last night."

"Um, yeah, I'm okay," Chloe said. "Can I talk to-"

The first bell rang, cutting off what Chloe was saying.

"Sorry, Chlo," Beca said, slamming her locker. "Maybe we can finish this at lunch. Come on, Aubrey, we don't want to be late for Homeroom."

Beca and Aubrey rushed off, leaving Chloe and Stacie together.

"Sure, Becs," Chloe said, nodding her head just before she banged her forehead against Beca's locker.

"Come on, Chloe," Stacie said. "We're going to be late for Homeroom. And I can help you figure out how to ask Beca to the Winter Formal."

Chloe stared at Stacie. "How did you know I was going to ask her?"

"She told me about your conversation yesterday," Stacie said, grabbing Chloe's arm and leading her to their class. "I put two and two together and it's the only thing that made sense."

"I just hope she says yes," Chloe said, hurrying to Homeroom before the final bell.

Later that day at lunch, Beca went to the library to return a book. Chloe looked for her in the cafeteria but didn't see her.

"Beca did say we could talk at lunch, right?" Chloe asked Stacie and Aubrey.

"Yes," Aubrey said.

"Wait, there she is," Stacie said, pointing toward the cafeteria entrance.

Chloe looked where Stacie was pointing and her face fell. Beca was entering the cafeteria with Jesse Swanson and they looked cozy, too cozy for Chloe's liking. Chloe turned back around and stared down at the table.

"Hey, Beca," Stacie said. "Hey, Jesse."

"Hey," Jesse said as he sat across from Stacie.

"Hey," Beca said, sitting next to Chloe and looking at her. "Hey, Chloe. You said you wanted to talk to me. So, what's up?"

Chloe looked at Beca and saw Jesse looking at her over Beca's head.

"Never mind, it's really nothing," Chloe said.

Beca shrugged and began eating her lunch.

~~ Day 21 of the 25 Days of BeChloe Christmases - 2020 ~~

The rest of the week went the same way and Chloe could never get Beca alone long enough to ask her to the dance. Stacie tried to help but every plan she came up with for Chloe was thwarted. By Friday Chloe was really frustrated and ready to give up on asking Beca.

"Why don't you just call her?" Stacie asked.

"I want to ask her in person," Chloe said. "So I can keep her from running away before answering me. If I call her she'll freak out and go into hiding of something."

"Ask her when we're at work tomorrow," Aubrey suggested.

"Yeah, Chloe," Stacie said. "I know she doesn't have a date to the dance yet."

"I thought Jesse was going to ask her," Chloe said. "He's been hanging around with her a lot more."

"Well, if he did ask her, she turned him down," Stacie said. "I think she's waiting for a certain redhead to ask her. Or she's trying to get up the nerve to ask a certain redhead herself."

"You really think she wants to go with me?" Chloe asked hesitantly.

"Yes!" Aubrey and Stacie answered.

"Alright," Chloe said, smiling. "I'll ask her tomorrow at Santa's Workshop."

That night, Chloe slept better than she had all week. When she woke on Saturday morning, she was feeling confident and ready to ask Beca to be hers, um, her date.

At nine o'clock, Aubrey picked up Chloe and drove to the mall. They were changing into their costumes when Santa walked in.

"Hey, Becs," Chloe said as Beca entered the changing area.

"Hey, Chlo," Beca said. "Um, do you think I can drive you home after our shift? I'd like to talk to you about something."

"Sure, Beca," Chloe said, before turning to Aubrey. "Brey, I'm going to ride home with Beca tonight, okay?"

"Okay," Aubrey said.

"That will be a great opportunity to ask her," Stacie whispered to Chloe.

"That's the plan," Chloe said with a smile.

After their shift, the girls were changed and Beca grabbed her bag.

"You ready to go, Chlo?" Beca asked.

"Yep," Chloe said.

"Let us know how it goes," Aubrey said.

"I will," Chloe responded.

Beca and Choe had been riding in silence for about ten minutes when Chloe looked over at Beca.

"So," Chloe said, breaking the silence and startling Beca. "You wanted to talk to me about something."

"Yeah," Beca said. "Um, I was wondering if you, you know, had a date for the Winter Formal?"

"Nope," Chloe said. "Do you?"

"Well, Jesse asked me," Beca said.

"He did?" Chloe asked, her heart falling into her stomach.

"Yeah," Beca said with a shrug. "But, I told him no."

"You did?" Chloe asked surprised. "Why?"

"Because he's not the one I want to go with," Beca said, looking over at Chloe.

"Who, um," Chloe started and cleared her throat. "Who do you want to go with?"

Beca didn't immediately respond and kept driving. Chloe fidgeted in her seat, her knee bouncing up and down.

Beca pulled up in front of Chloe's house and turned off the car. She unhooked her seatbelt and turned her body toward Chloe.

"To answer your question," Beca said. "You're the one I want to go with. Would you want to go with me?"

Chloe smiled and nodded. "Yes, Beca. I would love to go to the dance with you."

"Really?" Beca asked, smiling at Chloe.

"Of course," Chloe said, unhooking her seatbelt so she could face Beca. "To be honest, I've been trying to ask you all week, but something always got in the way."

"To be honest with you," Beca said. "It took me all week to get up the nerve to ask you. I mean, I've had a crush on you for like forever."

"Me, too," Chloe said. "I mean, I've had a crush on you for forever, too."

Beca laughed. "Aren't we quite the pair?"

"I think we're made for each other," Chloe said, leaning toward Beca. She turned serious as she asked, "Can I kiss you?"

Beca didn't respond. Instead, she closed the distance between them and gently placed her lips on Chloe's, applying slight pressure.

Chloe hummed and brought her hand up to Beca's cheek, holding Beca's head in place.

The kiss broke naturally and Chloe put her forehead to Beca's.

"Best first kiss ever!" Chloe exclaimed with a smile.

"Christmas came early and I am not disappointed," Beca said, leaning in for another kiss.

#bechloe #bechloe fanfic #beca mitchell #chloe beale #Christmas 2020

[purplesurveys]

1260

surveys by taco-tuesdays

What would be the pros and cons of a four-day school week? That was my schedule throughout college (we had Mondays off) and it really helped out a lot, especially mentally; and, on some level, emotionally as well. I’ve always thought 3 days is the most effective and ideal length of time when it comes to having a break.

As for cons, I honestly can’t name any as I was happy my schedule and I only heard miserable insights from my friends from other schools, who otherwise had to keep up a 5-day schedule in college.

What is a subject or topic that you would like to learn more about? My manager recently encouraged me to watch Going Seventeen – I initially thought I wouldn’t get the hype but I was wrong hahaha; they seem super interesting so I’ve been reading up about them today.

Would you rather live somewhere that was hot year-round or cold year-round? COLD.

What is something that you do during the summer that you don't otherwise? Give the weather the power to make me cranky. I’m not always vocal about the weather, but the summer heat just unleashes a monster right out of me.

Which professions do you feel deserve the highest amount of pay? Well, especially in the case of my country where essential workers are not paid nearly enough – medical frontliners.

What is your own definition of success? Reaching a point wherein I can honestly say I’m proud of myself. I’m my biggest critic and the worst overthinker I know, so if I’ve done something well enough to feel confident and comfortable about it, then I consider myself successful.

Do you have a favorite day of the week? Fridayyy.

What are some of your favorite songs? These days I’m really into Blue Side by J-Hope.

Do you donate to a specific charity or cause on an annual basis? Not annual, but there is an animal shelter to which I donate a small amount of my earnings whenever I can. I used to do it monthly but as more...life stuff that I need to pay for has started to pile up, I haven’t been able to keep up the habit as often as I would like.

If you won the lottery, how would you spend the money? Give half to my parents; use a portion of my half to get a new phone since my screen’s LED recently got permanently damaged and my phone now has weird colorful lines on the screen lmao; get sushi; save the rest.

Would you be a stay at home parent or send your kid to daycare? Ideally I would provide my child with their own helper that can watch them while I’m away for work. That’s a luxury I never got to have so my petty ass just wants to get back at my way-too-simple childhood and give my kid their own yaya.

What excites you more - tire swings or treehouses? Treehouses. I’ve never seen one; they’re not common at all here.

What's the highest amount of money you received in a card? I think around ₱2000? That’s roughly ~$40.

What's the last CD you purchased for yourself? My Butter set.

Dolphins, whales, sharks, or narwhals? Whales, then dolphins.

Did you get any scholarships or grants towards your education? No. But I technically didn’t need to apply for one; my entire college tuition was free.

Are spicy foods a yay or a nay for you? Absolutely the fuck yay. I have a pretty high tolerance and I think it just got even higher over the last year from all the kimchi and spicy noodles I’ve been downing haha.

Have you ever quit or been fired from a job before? No; but being fired is one of my biggest fears.

Have you ever wondered what your pets are saying to you? Just Cooper. I can read Kimi like the back of my hand at this point.

Did you walk or take the bus to school? My parents paid for a school bus service, which is the practice here. We don’t have a public school bus system.

--

Have you ever had to turn someone in before? For what? Hmm, not that I can recall. I don’t think so.

Describe a time where one of your parents embarrassed you. My dad belittled a staff at McDonald’s when we did drive-thru a couple of weeks ago. It has been like 11 in the morning and he was upset that his change came in coins, so he made a fantastic show of staying at the payment window for what felt like fucking years as he counted the coins one by one...like seriously? It’s fucking currency, are you really getting your panties in a bunch over coins?? Anyway, I didn’t talk to him for the whole day after that and didn’t touch my order that he paid for.

Do you prefer grapes, raisins, or prunes? Grape-flavored candies are fine, I guess. All of these choices in their pure form all suck.

Do you like knocking icicles off of things? Well no, considering I don’t encounter them a lot.

Have you ever had a party when your parents weren't home? I’ve never thrown a party at my own home.

What is something that irks you about your sibling(s)? There is a glaring lack of proactivity. My mom could be struggling with carrying something heavy and they will stay glued to whatever they’re doing, and will literally not move unless they’re addressed. It worries me sometimes as I don’t know to what extent it could possibly reach.

Does everyone really deserve to be forgiven? No.

How do we make men and women equal in today's society? Equal pay can be a good start to go with.

Did your parents favor one child over another when you were growing up? My mom clearly favored my brother and would give him millions of passes for shit I would otherwise be yelled at for; I didn’t feel any favoritism from my dad.

How much PDA is too much PDA to witness? I scrunch my nose even at light PDA all the time just to make my friends laugh, but to be honest about it it doesn’t actually bother me as much as I let it show. I’d only be grossed out if I see a full-blown makeout session or anything beyond that somewhere inappropriate.

If you get married, will you take your spouse's last name? I’d hyphenate so that I would still get to keep both my maiden and last names.

What's the last fight you had with your mother? Something about the courier delivery service I booked last week. The whole thing is too complicated to explain but I do remember retorting at her and her biting back with what I can best translate as, “How dare you have the gall to answer back,” which...as a minor probably would’ve been effective and made me feel guilty...but I’m literally 23. I had to hide my face to snicker because that kind of statement just doesn’t bother me anymore.

Do you still eat Lunchables as an adult? I’ve never had that; we don’t have them here.

When's the last time you made Kool-Aid? I have never tried Kool-Aid either.

Do you prefer photographs in color or black-and-white? Why? Color. Moments and memories just feel more alive that way.

What's your favorite comfort food? SUSHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII fuck I need some right now.

What makes you proud to be from the country you're from? I like our regional and local cultures.

If you had to work in a store, which would you choose, and why? Ooh...I dunno. Maybe a bookstore? so I can get to slowly rekindle my love for reading.

If you were a teacher, which subject would you teach? History.

Who shows that they love you more than they actually say it? I feel like this question applies to me more than it does for people in my circle, most of whom are quite vocal. I don’t usually throw around the words I love you, but I will show it a lot.

#survey #surveys

[acecademia]

Do you feel like you are both a full time student and a full time employee? I have seen numerous professors online say that if someone is taking classes full time then they shouldn't also be working since they should be treating school like a full time job. Some professors I know in person have also said this but I feel like none of the professors like to admit that students might need to work to pay for their classes.... What are your thoughts about what some professors say about classes?

Hi, nonny!

So my experiences are super specific to my situation, and I don't think there's a one-size-fits-all kind of scenario here.

I was able to get a full-tuition scholarship for undergrad. I still took out loans to help pay for my rent and food, but my parents also gave me some money every month to help pay for groceries and whatnot. Upon graduating from my undergrad program, my parents split the college savings account they'd set up for my brother and me. We each got half. That half was enough to pretty much exactly cover what I'd racked up in debt. I did not work during undergrad. My parents and I discussed it. They had both worked through college. My mom went to a college that was 100% work-study for all students, and my dad worked a few different jobs through college, I believe, like bartending. My scholarship was awarded for academic achievement, and one of the conditions for that scholarship was maintaining a high GPA. My parents agreed that school needed to be my priority and that I should focus my energy on keeping up my grades so I would keep my scholarship. Undergrad was a hell of a lot easier because of that. I wasn't trying to balance 15 hours of class per week with a 20 hour/week job and then homework and trying to actually have social interaction or just play a video game. It let me adjust to the independence and really settle into the level of self-sufficiency that I needed to achieve.

During my MLIS, I was paying out-of-state tuition. I had my assistantship which paid me a bit every month and came with in-state tuition remission, but I was still paying about $6k/semester with the difference in out-of-state and in-state tuition. I was working 20 hours/week in that job, and with a full load of classes, it was a lot. One of my friends who didn't have an assistantship was, at one point, working 40 hours/week at a full-time job on top of taking classes full time. I legit do not understand how she did it. It took a toll on her, though, and she eventually had to cut back on how many hours she could work per week because it was not sustainable.

I'm now working even more with the PhD because the classes require more time, and in the spring, I had an extra overload TA position (and my research study). It's a lot, and I'm honestly pretty exhausted already. I need a break hahaha

ha

ha

seriously please I need a break

In an ideal world, college would be a hell of a lot cheaper, and no one would need to work their way through school. I think the work is useful if it's an assistantship or something, especially in master's or PhD programs where it's relevant to your future career goals. But that's not reality. In reality, not everyone is privileged enough to be in a position like I was where I could take out the loans I needed and also have the safety net of my parents to fall back on. I have been incredibly lucky in my life to never have to worry about where my next meal is coming from or if there will be a next meal. If something happened and I suddenly had no money, I know I could go to my parents for help. They're not rich by any means, but they're upper-middle class and can afford to help out their kids every now and then when or if we need it. I think trying to work full-time and be a full-time student is a recipe for disaster and extreme burnout, especially if you have any other obligations on top of that (like a family or spouse). But also, I'm sure there are some people out there who can handle that. I definitely couldn't, though.

I also strongly believe that, as a professor, your job is to help your students. If you have a student who's struggling because they have outside obligations, that is a student who needs support, not disdain or judgement. Work with them. That's one thing I've really loved about my MLIS and PhD programs, in particular. The professors tend to have an attitude of "look, we're all adults here, and you have a life outside of school. if something comes up, let me know, and we'll figure it out." And it's just super chill and comfortable.

tl;dr: There isn't a one-size-fits-all solution here, but working full-time and going to school full-time is insanely intense. Not everyone can afford to focus solely on school, and that is completely okay and needs to be normalized. Also professors need to acknowledge that your life does not revolve around their class because that's just really dumb

Also, my current boss told me he recommended another PhD student quit her full-time job and focus solely on her PhD, so that's a thing that happened 🙃

#anon #replies #nicole speaks #nicole rambles #phdblr #gradblr

[whales-and-recovery]

Well, I don’t typically do things like this, but I think it’s worth the effort so I can come back and see this again at a later point.

9 Things / Experiences / Moments / Triumphs I am grateful for this year:

1) Firstly, wow, what a year it has been. This is the first year of my life that I have truly been on my own. It has been very difficult not having any parent figures around and really figuring everything out on my own, but I did it and I’m doing it. I was in one relationship for 5 1/2 years and another soon after for nearly an entire year, but as of now I have been single for quite a while. It’s been weird navigating on my own but absolutely worth it. I’ve earned my independence. There have definitely been some rough patches, but I am really proud of myself for being able to do this because it’s been a pretty scary ride.

2)  I got my wonderful dog Thor last year in September, but since I moved here in January it has just been him and I. I’ve really gotten the opportunity to connect with him and he is my everything. I love coming home to his smiling face every day, despite the fact that sometimes he is a huge pain in the ass.

3) From January to September, I was working a job in downtown as a receptionist at a condominium. This is a very, very wealthy part of Miami and I worked in a residential building full of very - very successful people. The opportunity to meet many of these people and make good connections was amazing. I also got the chance to meet my very good friend George. Also a pain in my ass at times, but such a genuinely good and kind hearted person.

4) This is a big one, after two years of wanting nothing more than to be back in school, I am finally back in school! I am eligible for financial aid but as I am still considered a dependent student by fafsa guidelines, regardless of the fact that I am completely independent, and the fact that my mother refuses to comply with the application process as she does not want me to go back to college, I don’t get any aid. That means that I have to pay my own tuition for school. It’s been rough, but oh so rewarding. I am so, so, so happy, grateful, and excited to be furthering my education and working towards my career as an aspiring Maribe Biologist. I want nothing more.

5) I finally started SCUBA diving again! I found a new instructor to help me as I was having major issues equalizing my ears before which was causing me intense pain and discomfort. My last instructor did not take it seriously and I could have permanently damaged my ears. This new instructor is just so amazing and takes the time and puts in the effort to really help me figure everything out. You get what you pay for. I’m so passionate about the ocean / diving and I was fearful before as I was scared I would not be able to fix the problem with my equalizing but he helped me and I did it!!!  I am just ecstatic.

6) I’m actually working a new job now. I’m working as a narrator on a glass bottom boat in the Keys. This is just wild for me. This is the first job that I’ve had that has anything at all to do with the field I want to be in. Don’t get me wrong, it’s been / can still be extremely daunting as public speaking is definitely something I’ve been fearful of for a long time, but now I’m spending hours talking in front of large crowds of people with a microphone strapped to my face. I’m really glad I was able to make some leeway on that fear and I am actually owning it! I’m getting paid to look at and educate people about dolphins, sharks, turtles, and coral all day. Sometimes I get applause when I’m done. Definitely not used to that part yet.

7) I’ve really realized how precious some of the relationships I have in my life are. I’ve had some very, very good friends move away to other cities and states chasing their dreams. While it’s definitely been saddening to see them go, my heart is so full of joy that I have met these wonderful people who are just as hungry as I am to have a spectacular life and not let ANYTHING hold them / us back from the wonder that life has to offer. I am so, SO proud. Obviously, I’ve also missed my dad since he passed away almost 9 years ago, but this year has definitely made me realize just how much I miss him. I wish he was here and I hope dearly that he is proud of the woman I’m becoming.

8) This year I’ve had so much wild stuff happen. Besides the craziness of 2020, my personal life has been particularly topsy-turvy as well. I sold my beloved Miata as Thor was getting too big for it. I ended up buying a Volkswagen rabbit which had very bad brakes which resulted in me hydroplaning and completely losing control of the car on Mother’s Day, spinning out, and slamming into a wall. I got the car fixed and literally a week later as I was driving it home from work again, it Caught. On. Fire. I had to jump out and call fire rescue. The car was sold to me as is. There was nothing I could do about it and I couldn’t get my money back. I am currently borrowing a friends car (thats another story).  Thor also had another emergency surgery this year as he tore up my bedsheets while I was working one day and swallowed a big chunk. Another instance that happened not too long ago was where I was walking him at night in 65° weather (That’s cold for people in Florida guys, also I’m a pussy) and his collar just gave out and popped off of his neck. He saw a duck and took off straight into the lake which resulted in him swimming all the way out to the very middle of the lake at 9 PM which resulted in me having to jump in and swim out after him to get him back because he’s a little stupid sometimes and I know he’s never been in that deep of water. He’s a lazy dog, he tires out pretty easily, had I not jumped in, there is no doubt in my mind that he would’ve drowned. Definitely wasn’t expecting the lake to be that deep at all, not to mention that the water was freezing and it was basically pitch black out there. At one point I couldn’t see him anymore and I really thought he had drowned. I found him, alive, I got him back. We are safe. Very scary night. My life feels like a movie sometimes, the list of crazy stuff goes on. Despite the book I can write on the insane amount of stuff that’s happened this year alone, I truly admire my resilience. I know sometimes I can be very hard on myself and times get very tough, but when I fall down 753 times, I stand up 754.

9) This one sort of - kind of goes along with the last one, but at some point last year, I kind of lost the sparkle in my eye. I really lost the appreciation that I found for life. As of recently, I have been working very hard to push myself back to a point where my mental health is nothing but a priority. I am once again regaining the passion that I have for living, being able to wake up in the morning, even breathing which I forgot was a privilege.  I am once again hungry, in the best sense of the word, for life. I can’t wait to continue growing and moving forward in this chaotic existence. I am so appreciative for the things that I have and how hard I have worked to get where I am. It has been truly rough out here on my own but as I said earlier, I am so proud of how resilient I have become.

I can’t wait to see what kind of incredible things I accomplish next year. I am so hopeful for the future. Looking forward with bright eyes y’all! I hope everyone has a wonderful New Years and that you can all look back on the craziness that was 2020 and find the good in it as well. Thank you @always-the-2nd for challenging me and always keeping me in mind. It warms my heart to know that you’re in my corner as I am in yours.

#personal #or whatever

[summerspn]

Gilmore Girls

Lorelai & Her Parents

At 16 Lorelai was rebellious against anything her parents did or said & she’s the same way even in Year in the Life where she’s in her late 40’s. She has zero open communication with her mom...still.

She never listens to her parents, avoids their calls, tries to get her daughter to be the go between on several occasions.

Lorelai whines, bitches & moans about her parents being the root of all evil. The way she talks we would expect them to be Joseph Stalin (a comparison she made herself in that magazine interview about the Inn).

However, we never see or hear anything that bad about her parents. Nothing unforgivable. They’re just normal loving parents who have strong opinions & are sometimes pushy.

Lorelai gave birth to Rory when she was 16. No parent would be thrilled at the idea their child just made their lives considerably more challenging for themselves. Parents generally want their kids to have better lives than they had.

In flashbacks we see Richard & Emily being good parents. Posh & proper they took parent in lots of events & rituals Lorelai didn’t like. Such as sitting for a portrait & wearing fancy dresses etc

Lorelai’s seen joking with Christopher & in good spirits. She’s not traumatized or being abused in any way.

We never see them being cruel, angry, or abusive to her. They definitely wanted her to follow suit. To do what they say...to listen...and to learn from them.

Lorelai rejected all of that. She’s not good at any of those things.

However they still seemed like good parents. Great even.

When they realize Lorelai’s pregnant they are shocked & disappointed. Immediately they jump into protective mode. Richard suggests helping Chris join the family & the kids could get married... his attempt to salvage her reputation. He knows how cruel people can be especially from the upper class elites whom of which can be petty.

Both Richard & Emily want to fix the mistake so they jump in. Christopher even said he wanted to marry Lorelai & he seemed excited about having the baby. Lorelai just looked annoyed at all of it.

We also see that she pushes them away again & again.

When she goes to the hospital alone they rush to be by her side. And she still acts annoyed. They wanted to help someone they love & she was annoyed!

In the flashbacks we see that Lorelai & baby Rory were living with Richard & Emily for at least a few weeks. Her parents seemed to be okay with the living situation.

A nice house, no rent, all expenses paid, and they mentioned a nanny...to which Lorelai felt she had to escape. What??

Seriously, she wanted zero help from everyone & anyone. That’s not just being independent that’s being blinded by pride.

And after her parents did everything for her, Lorelai runs away with baby Rory.

That’s completely selfish. I could imagine how painful that would be for her parents.

To make matters worse, it’s said several times in the early part of the series that Emily never got to see how Lorelai raised Rory...and that they barely ever got see or talk to Rory when she was little.

In fact, the first interaction we see of Rory & her grandparents it’s like Rory doesn’t know them. It’s like they’re being introduced to each other.

So...basically Lorelai didn’t try to have her parents involved in Rory’s life. She didn’t encourage a relationship with them - that is so incredibly spiteful & selfish.

When Emily finally meets the owner of the Independence Inn we see that she was upset about all that missing time. She didn’t have pictures of Lorelai or Rory during that time. It’s so...sad.

Season one has Rory getting into Chilton & it’s an excuse for her parents to get involved in their lives. They see it as an opportunity to get to know Rory. They pay for Chilton in exchange for Friday night dinners.

Even though they made a deal & Lorelai gave her word to have weekly dinners with her parents she still tries throughout the series to get out of them. It’s so rude & she’s so ungrateful.

Lorelai always whines about the dinners. But they were good! They get nice food, sit in comfort & have good company. She often looks like she’s having fun but later complains about them. There were only a handful of bad dinners in the series with her parents.

So why did she always complain about them?

Because she’s ungrateful for everything her parents did for her.

Good things Richard & Emily did for Lorelai:

* They raised her in a loving, stable home

* She had a good education

* They taught her good morals

* She was always fed & taken care of

* They tried to help when she was pregnant & provided support once the baby was born

* In season 1, Lorelai hurts her back & Emily takes care of her

* They paid for Chilton & Yale

* Their only request (or as Lorelai called it they ‘demanded’) to spend time with their daughter & grand daughter in exchange for the schools’ tuition.

* Despite not being invited by their daughter (because Lorelai assumes they wouldn’t want to go), both Richard & Emily attend Lorelai’s college graduation as the proudest parents in the world.

* They bought Rory an over the top high school graduation gift- a car- to which Lorelai barely thanked them.

* Richard taught Rory to golf & showed her around the country club.

* Richard was a mentor for a school project of Rory’s

* Emily encouraged Rory several times to make friends with her classmates

* Emily encouraged school involvement to help make those friends & for college. She stated something along the lines that it would help for everything.

* They remain friendly with Christopher (Rory’s father) even though he’s rarely around & they don’t like the fact he & Lorelai never got married. They know it’s important to be civil as he’s Rory’s father & they hope eventually the situation would improve.

* Emily is super nice to Jess upon their first meeting even though she thinks Rory is too good for him. She kept her opinion to herself, except when she had a private conversation with Lorelai.

* Emily helps Rory navigate parties & the DAR, making sure her grand daughter would be prepared for life of the upper society instead of leaving her to flounder.

* Emily prints out a list of tips for ways in which Rory can avoid getting stabbed in prison (during her community service)

* Richard defends Rory’s honour when he realizes Mitchum Huntzberger had upset her.

* Likewise Emily gives a great verbal thrashing to Shira Huntzberger in response to the woman having humiliated Rory

* Even when he’s not speaking with Lorelai, Richard helps take care of the insurance at the Dragonfly Inn.

* There were lots of warm family exchanges between them & Rory. Some warm exchanges between them & Lorelai too.

* When Rory ran to her grandparents, breaking down & basically begged them for help, they gave it to her. They took care of her.

* When Rory got arrested they never gave her a hard time or judged. They tried to help.

* They were still open to Logan being in Rory’s life even though his parents treated her poorly.

Not so good moments of theirs:

* Richard breaks business ties with Digger, going behind his back & working for his father

* Richard manipulates the situation so that while visiting Yale Rory has a meeting with the dean

* Emily throws the Yale (boys) party to try to get Rory to meet someone new as she’s too good for Dean (it worked, because she was too good for him)

* When they feared for Rory’s ‘virtue’. Old fashioned, yes. They felt her being a virgin until marriage was the way to go so they set up an awkward dinner with a pastor to talk sense into her. Good intentions but it was none of their business.

People have a lot of opinions about who was responsible for the rift between Lorelai & her parents.

What I think is this:

When Lorelai ran away with baby Rory, it was her fault. She took off, pushed them away & refused help.

Being rich & powerful, they could have won custody. All they had to do was get a private investigator to take pictures of the shed Lorelai & Rory were living in. Prove that Lorelai (who refused help from anyone) left Rory alone while she cleaned rooms at the Independence Inn.

It would be easy for them.

However, they didn’t do that. They actually gave Lorelai space & took what scraps of contact she was willing to give.

During the series (even with nothing triggering it) Lorelai pushes her parents away, bad mouths them, constantly hides big life events from them (her college graduation, not one but TWO engagements! , etc)...and she humiliated Emily by giving that mean interview about her when she should have talked about the Dragonfly Inn.

However, when Richard betrayed Digger, that caused tension. When he forced Rory to talk to the Yale Dean, it caused a rift. Not approving of Luke caused tension but they still supported Lorelai even though they didn’t like him.

Supporting Rory’s decision to drop out of school was huge. They supported her, thinking it was the right thing. Then Richard laid it out for Lorelai (because Rory was too chicken shit to stand up for her mom more than once a year 🤷‍♀️) .

It was what Rory wanted but Lorelai felt it was all her parents’ fault, which wasn’t true.

Emily even tried to encourage Rory to talk to Lorelai a few times. Finally getting through to her with the invitations to her birthday party.

And Lorelai showed up to the party & acted like she wanted to kill them. Emily asked how Luke was & Lorelai jumped down her throat...and of course that was when we realized that again Lorelai didn’t tell her parents she was going to marry Luke.

Another knife wound.

Emily & Richard are critical but they also learn & evolve. They both are pragmatic so while Emily was underhanded in inviting Christopher to the vow renewal, I get it. Emily wanted to see if she can piece the family back together - choosing one of the few times where she’s getting along with Lorelai. She probably thought that if he saw Lorelai at a wedding he’d want to marry her & vice versa. Kill two birds with one stone.

Yes it was shitty because Lorelai was with Luke; however, if that had been a healthy relationship (there were lots of issues) it wouldn’t have imploded the way it did. Later when the two have a healthier relationship both Richard & Emily are more accepting of Luke.

Even during Emily’s emotional breakdown where she wanted to buy that plane she suggested that Lorelai & Luke can use it - showing at that point she’d accepted the relationship.

So who was to blame for the rift?

Both...but mostly Lorelai.

While I can understand the argument that she had been raised in a way she didn’t like, you can’t place blame on that.

Lorelai felt suffocated at 16 but she didn’t just need space, she wanted to cruelly ditch her parents.

You definitely can’t blame her parents for the way she acted towards them at 30-something. Because adults are responsible for themselves. You have issues with someone? Talk! Communicate! Even if that involves arguing.

Suck it up, address the issues then figure out how to fix it.

I feel like Emily & Richard did this a lot. They struggled sometimes but eventually they worked things out. But Lorelai kept pushing them away & shut them out of her life.

Even in Year in the Life. She still resented her father so much that she couldn’t remember a single good memory about him at the funeral. Then she acted angry at Emily when she was upset. Emily had every right to be.

They go to therapy because after all these years they can’t talk to each other. Still. Well, we know Emily is very vocal so who could be to blame? Perhaps the fact Lorelai was keeping her therapy from Luke was a bit telling.

In any case, whomever you blame for the problems, I think we all can agree it would have been nice if the show had more flashbacks so we can see why Lorelai resented and (at times) hated her parents.

Nothing I saw in the series was enough to be that angry with them & to run away or barely see them in 16 years. Were they stifling? Yes. Controlling? A little bit but parents often are. Annoying? Yes.

Abusive, cruel, mean, neglectful? No, no, no, and no.

In my family, we talk & occasionally yell. We don’t have to like what each other is doing but hey that’s family. But we do try to talk. Sometimes things come up that annoys us but we deal with it.

Lorelai’s family wasn’t perfect. That’s fine, but why wouldn’t she want to see them? Why would she take a situation about her neurotic mother & think it was funny to tell perfect strangers & to compare herself to a murdering dictator?

You have to be pretty heartless to do that...even if Lorelai didn’t realize it would be in print. I don’t care how annoyed I get I would NEVER talk about my parents like that.

So, why does Lorelai? What happened to her that she thinks this is okay? What (if any) shady things did her parents do to deserve something like that?

I wish the show could have shown us because the absence of information just feels like Lorelai is cruel & vindictive

I personally think Lorelai just never grew up. She acts immature even in later seasons so I believe she has the same mentality as she did when she was 16. She assumes several times the worst about her parents when the were just being straight forward or asking simple questions.

Like, for example, Rory’s invitation to her birthday party. Lorelai assumes it was a manipulation by Emily but her daughter was just reaching out to her. Instead of checking to see if she was actually welcome she - like a child - ignores it & would rather miss Rory’s birthday then deal with 2 minutes of awkwardness on the phone to get clarification. She just assumes there is no possible way she’d ever be wrong. Keep in mind at this point Lorelai is supposed to be around 38.

She’s not a child, she’s not naive nor stupid. She’s merely self involved. She thinks how she thinks, never bends, & can’t possibly comprehend the fact that her parents genuinely love her & try any means in which they can see her & their grand daughter.

In later seasons we can see how heartbroken her parents were still about missing out on Lorelai’s life. Emily starts making suggestions about adding onto the Dragonfly Inn, by having a spa attached. Lorelai brushes it off like it was nothing but Emily was reaching out to her because she was worried she wouldn’t want to do Friday night dinners again.

And we see in season 7, when the girls attend Mia’s wedding that Emily was still upset by the separation all those years ago. She’s civil while trying to hide her pain. Lorelai was completely oblivious to how upset Emily was. Rory points that out & eventually Lorelai actually understands.

Some people aren’t fans of season 7 but I loved that episode because it showed Emily’s vulnerability & pain and we actually got to see some growth between Lorelai & Emily!

Year in the Life completely shit all over that of course.

The series finale was alright regarding how Lorelai is with her parents. They were in a good place & she reassured her mom that Friday night dinners would continue. Meaning, she would still be in their lives.

I had no complaints about that. Though I still wish we saw more about their past.

What I had hoped to see in Year in the Life was a solid relationship with Lorelai & Emily. After all those years, why wouldn’t they have progressed?

We saw hints that when Lorelai would take her head out of her butt, she actually enjoys time with her parents. Such as having fun with Emily at that fashion show.

And a lot of people get annoyed at their family as teenagers but once they’re grown up & moved out, they have a good relationship with them.

I wanted, in the Year in the Life, for Emily & Lorelai to still have their banter but be friendly. Meeting up to shop occasionally & such. But instead they’re still in a bad place? After ten years...really?

Seeing that was exhausting. Even as a 40-something woman Lorelai acted like a spoiled brat. Like a teenager, and her mom then treated her like one. It was stupid & disappointing.

#rory gilmore #tv serials #tv #entertaining #tv shows #alexis bledel #gilmore girls #keiko agena #lauren graham #lorelai gilmore #emily gilmore #richard gilmore #bishop #edward herrmann #jared padalecki

[nullominous-q]

This is not a warning.

I’m going to share a story with you. One, that I’m sure I don’t want to. Don’t really have a say in the matter here, something is bearing down on me. Making me sit down here in my room, making my fingers fly across the keyboard. I haven’t paused once since starting, which is odd for me.

It’s like I can barely control myself anymore, like I’m a puppet on strings. And I’m not sure I want to try and struggle, because I’m sure whatever is in control, wouldn’t be too happy with me. But strangely enough, I don’t feel like it’d hurt me.

It needs me. That’s for certain.

But what scares me, is how much it doesn’t need my family, my friends. So, here’s my story.

My life up until this week had always been normal, boring even. I’ve got two older sisters, my dad. My oldest sister, Len lives with her girlfriend and her parents. But Willow, dad and I all live in the same single floor house we’ve had for at least twelve years.

My family supports one another, but dad has always pushed us to be as independent as possible. He always calls the world a “dog eat dog” kinda place, and he’s right of course. But sometimes, his resolve to make us independent was a pain.

Like he did with my sisters when they went off to college, dad paid for only half of my tuition, and left the rest to me. He’d also end up taking care of my textbooks, but either way. I spent most summers writing countless essays for scholarship money, doing one-shot commissions, anything to get the cash.

But in the end, the most surefire way of getting money, was always getting a job. So I also spent time flooding open jobs with my resume. And that’s what eventually led to me being here, typing up something I don’t want to. Typing up something I’d rather just forget and consign to oblivion.

I got a call from one of the countless jobs I’d applied for, saying they were impressed by my many hours of community service and prior work in a TV station, and wanted to conduct an interview in person at their own station.

I, eager to start a job, and it being already two weeks into the summer, agreed. The interview would take place the following Tuesday, and after asking my dad, he smiled proudly at the news, but couldn’t drive me there due to work.

The tv station was nearly two hours away by train, but I was feeling exceptionally lazy before the day of the interview had even arrived. So I asked Willow, and ran into the same response. And then I asked Len, and she was free to take me. Or would have been, had her girlfriend not needed the car they shared to attend a funeral.

Running low on patience and people with working or available vehicles, I was starting to wonder if it was really worth the trouble of bothering anyone else about it. But just as I was about to resign myself to a crowded, uncomfortable two hour train ride, I got a text from a friend.

Steven, nice, funny, prankster, had a painfully obvious crush on me, licensed driver…

I debated in my head for a while on my own capacity for cruelty, before shaking my head. I wasn’t being cruel, nor had I ever been. I knew Steven had a crush on me, but I never led him on. I even mentioned a few times out loud how I really wasn’t ever getting into a relationship with anyone. Romantically, sexually, I’d never had any desire for any of that stuff and seriously doubted that I ever would. The only thing that sustained the guy’s crush at this point, was his own stubbornness. And that was not on me.

Plus, if he said no, that’d be the end of it. I wouldn’t try to tempt him or make any promises. I was asking him for a favor, that was it.

And in the end I didn’t even need to do that. After exchanging pleasantries and being asked “what’s going on?”, I told him of my plight and he immediately offered his help. I asked him if he was really sure about it, feeling slightly uncomfortable at his willingness.

He was sure.

He was always sure when it came to me, and frankly, I hated it.

I just hoped someday soon he’d realize how hopeless a relationship between us was, and he’d quit being such a yes-man for me. I felt like I’d done as much as possible, short of screaming “I’m aromantic and don’t like you like that!” in his face. And well, I may not have loved him like that, but he was a good friend. I trusted him, he was always there for me even before he liked me… I didn’t want to fuck that up.

It was only a few days before I was throwing my backpack into the backseat of Steven’s car. Inside the bag was only a few things, a change of clothes for when my interview was done, my tablet, phone charger, and an assortment of other such things.

Steven gave me a two fingered salute as I joined him in the front and strapped in, “Looking sharp Morgan!” He fished his phone out of his pocket and buckled it into the holder on the dash. “You already texted me the address right?”

I nodded with a smile, “Yep. How’s college treating you? Or should I say, how are you treating college?”

Steven opened the address on his phone and grinned, “Wonderfully, and wonderfully. How dare you suggest any different?”

“Because you’re full of shit,” I shot back with a chuckle as I watched him start up the car.

“I’m filled to the brim with sweetness and charm. I am delightful, all my professors say so,” he shifted out of neutral and pulled away from the curb.

I looked forward and nodded slowly, “Uh huh, name one. I’ll email them to make sure.”

“Aw, you will?”

“Drive Steven.”

We spent most of the drive talking over the radio music we weren’t really listening to, catching up on anything we hadn’t covered in our last text conversation. It was nice, something I truly missed about being back home. The serenity of the drive almost distracted me from Steven’s occasional long stares, almost.

Maybe there was no way to settle this infatuation he had for me, peacefully at this point. Not to say that Steven was a violent guy! No way, he’d always been a pacifist, it wasn’t in his nature to hurt people. One time he broke down bawling all because he’d tripped and accidentally headbutted a guy in high school.

But sometimes I had to wonder if anyone else had been in my exact position, and gotten out of it with their friendship intact. Maybe the friendship falling apart was just something that happened when there were unreciprocated feelings. I hoped not.

Anyways, at this point, nothing out of the ordinary had happened.

I got to my interview on time, got out on time, and then I changed out of my formal clothes in a McDonald’s. Steven and I ate, and by the time we were back in the car, it was near 6pm.

I was tired, but not dead tired. And somehow, I think Steven knew it, because he suggested we go to an arcade for an hour or two. As a “reward for always working so hard”, as he put it. It took a bit of nagging, but he eventually convinced me.

I wasn’t tired enough to refuse gaming, but I was tired in a different way. The stress of finding my own tuition money and job alone was starting to wear me down, as Steven so tactfully implied in our game of skeeball. As he dubbed me “cash zombie” after my tenth loss, searching the land for money to devour.

Props to him, it fit how I felt to a T. However, the new nickname inspired me to challenge him to pool. Which I promptly kicked his ass in.

I was having fun until he walked up to me and asked me to show him how to hold the pool stick, with a smirk I gladly showed him. It wasn’t until I glanced up that I realized it wasn’t my technique he was observing.

I stood and then said I wanted to go home. He seemed taken aback but didn’t protest. With the tickets won from all the skeeball, he bought himself a little grumpy dog charm, and bought me a light up pen.

I accepted it with a smile, trying to shake off the deep discomfort that rested heavily in my chest. I was starting to remember why I ended up not going to my first choice college.

We hit the road at 8pm. Steven and I talked for a bit before he realized my eyes were drooping. With a soft laugh, he said I could go to sleep if I wanted to.

I gladly did…

And then woke up only minutes later, for some reason I still don’t understand. But I woke up, and it was dark out. The radio in the car played softly, I watched absently as the dark road was illuminated by Steven’s headlights and nothing else.

I looked over to Steven, his eyes were on the road, a small smile on his face as he hummed to the music. God I never understood how he could smile so much.

He glanced at me, “Couldn’t sleep? Sorry, the radio’s probably too loud.” Without waiting for me to say anything he reached for the volume and turned it lower. It was nearly inaudible now, I sighed.

“The music was fine Steven. Dunno why I woke up really…” I trailed off as I looked out into the near black of night.

“Bad dream maybe?”

“Those usually don’t wake you up a few minutes into sleeping right?”

“I dunno. All I know is that when you’re asleep, your brain doesn’t give a shit if you’ve been asleep for 12 hours or 1, it can still make you have a dream that feels like an entire day has gone by.”

“Yeah those are weird ones,” I muttered to myself, “Well, doesn’t matter. Even if I did have a nightmare I don’t remember it. I was asleep and then I wasn’t.”

We lapsed into silence. I listened to the calm breaths of my friend, the radio’s quiet  voices, I watched small reflectors pass us by, making sure the car kept on the road in the darkness.

Steven sighed, “Don’t even know what song they’re playing anymore, mind if I turn the radio back up?”

“I already said the radio was fine as it was,” I muttered in response, unable to keep a little annoyance from slipping into my voice.

With a soft laugh Steven reached for the volume and turned the knob. A voice could now clearly be heard. “There we…” Steven started but then trailed off as the voice continued speaking.

I looked over to the radio and blinked as I listened to what was coming out from it. “You’re deaf. You’re blind. You’re mute. You’re deaf. You’re blind. You’re mute,” I recognized the voice as the woman that usually did commercial breaks and announced what song was up next. I listened to the station often, so I knew it was definitely her.

Steven and I exchanged a few unsure glances, and I felt a confused smile pull at my face, I saw the same almost appear on Steven’s face as well. But then she said it again. “You’re deaf. You’re blind. You’re mute. You’re deaf. You’re blind. You’re mute. You’re deaf. You’re blind. You’re mute. You’re deaf. You’re blind. You’re mute.”

She continued the monotonous chant in a hollow voice, and the longer Steven and I just sat there listening, the more tightly my chest clenched in discomfort. I opened my mouth and swallowed to try and get rid of the dry feeling that had settled in my throat, “Wh…why isn’t her crew stopping her…”

Steven let out a soft laugh that sounded forced in every way, his voice was tinged in fear, “Maybe it’s uh…a prank? Hell of a good one I’d say!”

Meanwhile the chant had begun to make me antsy, I glanced around us, we were alone on the road and there were still no streetlights in sight. “You’re deaf. You’re blind. You’re mute,” what the hell did it mean?

I looked back at the radio to see Steven reaching out to hit something, maybe the change station button, the power button, but his hand just hovered in midair shaking ever so slightly, like he was scared to interrupt the incessant chant.

I quickly raised a hand to grab his wrist, “H-hold up.” There was something off about the woman’s voice. I placed my fingers on the volume, and looked at Steven. He was trying to keep his eyes on the road, but his eyes kept going from me to the radio. I frowned and took both of my hands away, “Stop the car.”

Steven gave me a look that was somehow both relieved and wary, but slowed us to a halt and put the emergency lights on. I nodded to him, “Thanks. I…I just want to check something.” Steeling myself, I reached for the volume again, and turned it up ever so slightly.

After a moment of not hearing any change, I turned it up again, more this time. The car was now filled with the woman’s chanting, making it louder hadn’t helped my nerves, but it did help me pick out one more disturbing aspect.

“Is…is that her crew?” I looked to see if Steven heard it too. There was an overlap, like they were all around the microphone chanting, but one or more of them couldn’t say it at the exact same pacing. Judging by Steven’s expression, he heard exactly what I had. His face was pale, his hands were clenching and unclenching in his lap.

He gave me a nervous smile, “Uh, h-hey Morgan, c-c-can we switch stations now? This prank has uh, outlived itself.”

I felt my head move to nod numbly before I could really think about it. As opposed to before, Steven’s hand jumped to hit the change station button.

Music.

There was normal, calming music. Well, as calming as country could be, but opposed to the chanting? It was a nice change of atmosphere. The relief in the car was palpable, Steven sighed and I sunk into my seat. I laughed a bit, “Holy shit!”

Steven chuckled nervously, obviously not understanding why I was so tickled. And to be honest, I wasn’t. It felt more like a reflex to counter how unnerving the situation had been. “Yeah they uh, they got us good. Weird though, it’s the beginning of summer, not Halloween, not April Fools. Why would they…”, Steven started before shaking his head with a huff.

He was rattled, and I understood, I was too. It had only been two minutes or so, but being out on country roads in near complete dark, and hearing a whole radio station chanting for seemingly no reason, was just downright creepy.

Steven took a deep breath before smiling over at me, “Well that does give me a hell of an idea for a party prank, so I’ll consider this a learning experience!” He put his hands back on the wheel and turned his emergency lights off.

The music cut out to static, I looked at the radio in confusion. And went cold when a different chorus of voices began to chant. “Hear the words, perceive their worth, speak their truth.”

I just stared as the words continued to resound through the car, and in an attempt to make sense of the situation, I went for my phone.

“Wh-what are you doing calling the cops?” Steven asked me in a voice tinged with fear.

I wasn’t, “I’m finding out if there’s a blog post or something about this, maybe it’s a secret event or something. Like, you scan across all the stations working together to uh, y’know figure out a secret message first and get a free cruise or some shit. I don’t know! Something!” I was grasping at straws but it was all I had.

Steven just nodded and seemed to jump onboard with my theory, “I-I’ll check the other stations.” He hit the next station button while my browser took forever to load up Google.

It was only silent for a moment before the car was filled with voices again, different voices, but the same chant as before. “Hear the words, perceive their worth, speak their truth. Hear the words, perceive their worth, speak their truth. Hear the words, perceive their worth, speak their truth.”

There hadn’t even been any music. Steven hit the next button, no change and my browser still hadn’t loaded up. Same chant, different voices.

“Hear the words, perceive their worth, speak their truth. Hear the words, perceive their worth, speak their truth. Hear the words, perceive their worth, speak their truth.”

He hit next again, and my browser quit loading giving me the timeout page. As the exact same chant surfaced from the silence again, I let out a shuddering breath and hit the reload button and silently begged for it to work.

Even if this was some sort of elaborate, fucked up prank, there’d be no way that so many stations would be saying the same message.

“Hear the words, perceive their worth, speak their truth.”

Steven with a frustrated growl hit the steering wheel, “This is so fucked up! What the hell are they thinking! It-i-it…! It’s not even funny anymore, it stopped being funny like six stations ago!”

I took a deep breath and looked to Steven as the voices kept on, his eyes were wide, fixed to the radio as the voices kept on and on. His breathing was quick and shallow, he was panicking. I understood, I felt the same way. In fact the only thing keeping me from joining him in his panic, was how worried I was for him.

He was the one behind the wheel, he couldn’t be shaken like this, it was a bad idea to let him spiral.

“Hear the words, perceive their worth, speak their truth. Hear the words, perceive their worth, speak their truth.”

“SHUT UP! SHUT UP! FUCKING STOP!” Steven shouted at the radio. I knew I needed to intervene, this was driving us both mad, but someone had to take control of the situation. I threw my unresponsive phone down.

Taking one of Steven’s hands brought his attention away from the radio and to me, his eyes were tearing up and he was breathing far too erratically, I could see his chest spasming. It hurt to see him like this even though I could feel tears just behind my eyes as well.

I took a deep breath to calm myself and hopefully calm him as well, “Steven, watch me. Do what I do.” I took a deep breath for five seconds, held it for seven seconds, released it for ten, and repeated. It took Steven a bit to catch on, his eyes kept darting to the radio and the speakers around him, but I kept reminding him to keep his eyes on me, and block out the radio.

I could have turned it off, but that would have distracted Steven and just sent him further into his panic. A part of me just thought if we learned to push it out of our minds when we could hear it, we’d be better off than just sitting in silence.

It was hard with the chanting, but having a reason to appear calm made it easier to pretend like it was easy. Steven seemed to buy that the chanting didn’t bother me anymore, and was able to breathe with me and stop his tears. After a while, I didn’t need to hold Steven’s hand anymore, he didn’t need to watch my breathing. He numbly turned in his seat, and sunk back into it.

I sighed in relief, I was still freaked out by all of the shit happening on the radio, but I felt better since we had managed calmed down.

“Hear the words, perceive their worth, speak their truth,” the chant kept going. You’d think the people’s voices would get tired after going for so long, didn’t sound like it.

I sighed, “I’m turning this shit off.”

Steven mumbled in response still focusing on staying calm, “Be my fucking guest.”

I hit the power button without hesitation.

And there was silence.

After the silence continued for a while, I ran my hands over my face. I didn’t even notice I’d been left sweating from all that.

I looked over at Steven, “A…are you alright? Stupid question, I know but…”

He just shook his head tiredly, closing his eyes and covering his face. “That was…so uncool…so fucked. Like…” he put his hands down into his lap, “That was without a doubt, the most fucked up thing I have ever gone through Morgan.”

I nodded in agreement, “Ditto.”

I didn’t even know what to do, and I doubted Steven did either. He needed to focus on calming down, though his breathing had slowed to a normal pace, he was too shaken to drive and I didn’t know how to drive. And despite everything that had just happened, the silence was hardly comforting.

There were no crickets, cicadas, there wasn’t anything besides the low humming of the car and our own breathing. It was a quiet that was suffocating.

Desperate to fill the silence and figure out what to do next I started searching for my phone that I’d thrown earlier. “I’ll uh, see if I can get a signal. Maybe someone can tow us to a gas station or something… Just to…be near people y’know? Maybe someone else there will be as freaked out as us,” I suggested with a pathetic attempt at a laugh.

Steven gave a weak smile that disappeared as soon as it had appeared, and nodded without a word.

After some blind searching I bent down to reach under my seat, and grabbed my phone.

“Are you afraid?”

I came up from my hunched over position to look at Steven, “Uh, well I…” I stopped as I took in his expression.

Steven looked horrified and his shaking had come back full force, his wide eyes were glued on the radio. What had happened?

“Steven, did you hear something? What’s wrong?” I asked reaching for his shoulder.

“You’re afraid.”

My heart seized in my chest and began beating far too loudly in my ears as my body broke into a cold sweat.

There was a voice coming from the radio.

I turned my head over slowly, and saw the display that usually showed the station number, just said “Hi”. I had…I had turned it off, and yet…

“Steven and Morgan, how are you doing this evening?”

“No no nono no!” Steven whimpered before I could even register what had just been said, “How? How the fuck! Who the fuck are you!” Tears were coming to his eyes again as he clung at the back of his head.

The voice on the radio was new, different from all the stations we’d changed through, and in fact sounded much too young to be someone that worked anywhere, let alone a radio station. A little girl, was speaking through the radio, and she somehow knew our goddamn names.

I shook my head dismissing every other thought besides finding out the answers to the questions that had been gnawing away at me, “I…I turned this fucking thing off! How are you…? How are you even speaking through this!” I checked the status of the power button just to be sure, the radio was definitely off.

There was silence before a strange sound broke through the speakers of the car, it took me a bit to realize the girl was giggling. “Please, a stranger talking to you through a powered-off car radio? Not the strangest thing that’s happened to you tonight. All that chanting, scary stuff.”

“This is scary stuff too you little shit!” Steven burst out. I placed a hand on his shoulder in an attempt to calm him. It was already prevalent in my mind, but I somehow already knew that all of this couldn’t be the work of any little girl. Her voice was too calm, and carried much intelligence with it. I just didn’t like the idea of insulting her recklessly.

“Why are you doing this? Who are you? And…and how are you connecting to our radio?” I tried keeping my voice level but I could feel myself trembling.

“I need a mouthpiece. Angel. And this is the only way I can speak to you. Let’s leave it at that.”

I shook my head, not because I wasn’t retaining what she was trying to say, but because everything she said sounded like the ramblings of a psychopath. “A-uhm…a mouthpiece? You mean us?”

“Yes.”

“If radios are the only thing you can…talk through, just use that! Why do you need to-to fucking terrify a couple of college kids and make them think they’re going crazy, when you can just use fucking radios?!” I argued my voice cracking in stress and anger.

“It was fun.”

I stared at the display still displaying the word “Hi” and blinked hard in disbelief, “Fun? Us being scared out of our wits was fun for you?”

“Immensely. I admire your ability to take control of difficult situations Morgan, not many have your tact.”

“You’re fucking insane!” Steven spat out, “A-and you can only speak through radios? Then wh-what the fuck was that with the radio hosts, a-and their crew! You controlled them! Made them say shit!”

I looked over to him, he was panicking less, but getting more angry. He had someone to actually answer his questions, maybe that gave him some semblance of comfort.

There was silence for a moment, and then the girl spoke again. “I did no such thing,” but the voice that came from the radio had changed. Altered and distorted. “I just listened to them, and copied,” Steven’s voice clearly resounded through the car radio.

Steven’s panic was back, and I was starting to feel the urge to get out of the car and run. She continued on, Steven’s voice shifting and distorting back to the thing’s original voice.

“I speak through radios, and just like a radio’s frequency, I can be altered. But my power only stretches so far. I have no ability to touch…computers. More specifically, I cannot touch the internet how you two can. That is why I need a mouthpiece.”

I shook my head, this was crazy, “And…and if we say no?”

“I will embrace you,” the sound of the doors around us locking was startling and final.

Steven and I glanced at each other before checking our doors and trying to unlock them with no success. It was like the locks were bolted in place. Steven unbuckled his seatbelt to slide into the backseat and try the back doors while I too, unbuckled and instead, started kicking at the window on the driver’s side of the car.

“Now now, before you two try getting out. Maybe you should check to see where you’re safer?”

That gave me pause and I almost ignored the voice before remembering, if this girl, thing wasn’t lying, it wanted us alive to be its mouthpiece. So maybe, it’d be best to take a look around the car.

I didn’t need to look very far or very hard, to find what made the voice say what it did. “Steven…Steven stop!” I yelled back at him as he had also started kicking the windows. And when he leaned forward to see what was there, I pointed down the road.

Right over the dip in the road ahead, stood something. The headlights of the car just barely reached its legs but illuminated just enough of the thing to make me feel all at once, much safer in the car.

Glinting in the headlights, thin metal legs, seemingly made out of wire stood supporting the body of a humanoid monster. A white dress, tattered and worn covered the thing’s torso, and perhaps its arms too, but it was impossible to tell. The arms made out of the same material as the legs, hung by its sides, and the long hands reached near the ground. Upon closer inspection, what I thought at first to be wire, may have actually been…needles. The thing’s body was made out of fucking needles, I could see it clearly. They connected impossibly to one another, twisting around each other to form the thing’s limbs. Two red, perfectly circular lights seemingly floated in the darkness above its body, they glowed dimly.

A girl, made of needles, watched us like cowering animals in a trap.

I brought my legs up to my mouth and tried not to cry, just hoping it would stay where it was and not come any closer. “I…i-is that…you?”

“Yes. Would you like me to embrace you?” the voice wasn’t teasing or threatening. It asked like it was expecting us to say yes, then I thought if this was only the hundredth time this thing had attacked someone like this. If someone in our position had been so scared they just wanted it over with, and actually said yes.

I shook my head, “N-no…no! I-I just-!” A sob ripped its way out of my throat, “Pl-please let us go!” I blinked and heard myself scream as I saw that the monster on the road was closer than before, like in the short second my eyes weren’t on it, it had teleported a few feet forwards.

Whimpering I backed up to try and sit in the backseat, Steven put his hand on my shoulder to help me. Once I was huddled in the back with him, I tried not to cry lest I need to blink, allowing this demon on the road ahead of us to come any closer.

“Pl-please, A-Angel right? You want us to be mouthpieces for you right? We can do that! Th-there’s no need for this!” Steven shouted into the tense air of the car.

I watched as the thing on the road, tilted its head in a jittering clockwork-like movement, and teleported closer. I screamed and backed into Steven more, he held my hand and I could feel him shaking. There wasn’t any trick to keep it from coming closer, even if we somehow escaped the car in time, it would just hunt us down.

Now the monster was completely bathing in the headlights of the car, I could see its face. Pitch black and completely featureless, completely contour-less, flat with the red lights just embedded into what must have passed as the thing’s skin. And what framed the face, was pure white hair. Chopped short in the back, and two long lengths of hair that hung down on both sides, it even had bangs, not that they covered its “eyes” in any way.

“I need a mouthpiece,” the thing’s voice chimed like a reminder through the car.

“A” she had said, “a mouthpiece”. I looked to Steven, my fear was gone, but it was replaced with horror.

“It…it only wants one of us,” I felt myself talking and Steven looked at me in confusion. His face turned shocked and horrified.

“She…she can’t mean…” he muttered before looking back to the monster standing in the road. The monster trying to make us throw one another to the wolf that it was.

It was only twenty feet away now, every time Angel would need to remind us of what it wanted, five feet between us and it would disappear as it came closer.

Steven looked at me, “You have to do it. Morgan please, you…you just have to!”

I just shook my head, this was bullshit, I knew I was being childish, thinking there was any way we’d both be getting out of this alive. But there was no way I could do that to Steven!

He gave a frustrated sigh and took me by the shoulders, “Morgan listen to me, I could never live with myself if you died here and–”

“You think I could?” I screamed, “You’re my best friend you idiot!”

With a quick glance, we both noted that the monster was barely ten feet away from us, its long needle fingers twitching erratically as it stood.

“I need a mouthpiece.”

At that moment, I couldn’t take it anymore, Steven was willing to die for me, but I wasn’t willing to let him.

“Steven will be your mouthpiece! He’ll do it! I-I’m a dunce when it comes to the internet! E-embrace me!”

A window shattered, and all at once, I regretted everything I’d just said. Even if I hadn’t said a word, it would have likely turned out the same way.

Steven, in a desperate attempt to throw off my self sacrifice, turned and with two kicks,  finished kicking out the window. It shattered, and he dragged himself out. I grabbed at his hand to stop him, but he just pulled away.

It was the last I saw of him, his back running out into the darkness, and being impaled through his stomach by Angel as it appeared in front of him. The five long needle fingers poked through him like tissue paper, and closed before pulling back, ripping out everything in its grasp. I heard a choked and pained scream, only I’m not sure which one of us it came from.

Steven’s body fell, I screamed in despair. I couldn’t believe what had just happened. My eyes were glued to his twitching form on the ground before Angel stepped on top of it, her needle feet making more gashes on his back and head. My gaze traveled upwards to meet its eyes, round red solid orbs that pierced my soul and made me fall silent.

A crackling noise resonated through the car, “Looks like you win…lose? Either way, you’re alive. He was quite the brave fool.” The red orbs slimmed at an angle, as if it was smiling. “This will be a wonderful story.”

I shuddered and blinked away my tears, and Angel was gone.

The cold night air blew on my face, drying my tears as more fell, Steven’s body no longer twitched, dark blood leaked out from under him, staining his yellow shirt. I could see him, all of him with his insides strewn around his torso. My vision swam.

I felt my body move like lead towards the open window, towards Steven, but my arms didn’t carry me very far. They gave out and I felt the wind get knocked out of me as my torso hit the seat, I wasn’t breathing evenly, I was still sobbing and scared. It felt like something vaguely reminiscent of two hands were pressing down on me, forcing what air I had inside, out.

All I could see before I passed out was the back of the driver’s seat in front of me becoming blurry and dark.

The next days became a blur of high emotions and questions, none of which I knew how to deal with. I was sat in a hospital bed for three days, not to take care of my physical injuries, which were no worse than a few scrapes from broken glass, but to assess my mental state.

Everyone was convinced I had emotional trauma and truly couldn’t remember what had happened on the road that night, apparently I never could get past the arcade without suddenly being unable to speak. I’d start crying as I just stared off into space until someone snapped me out of it, which would throw me into an all too unpleasant panic attack. People learned to stop trying that, and would instead wait for me to eventually notice they were still there.

It was the strangest thing though, I always remembered telling them everything. I guess I wanted to tell them, but my body wouldn’t cooperate, and it was on the very day I was about to be released from the hospital, that I figured out why.

The police had once again tried to get what they could out of me without upsetting me. My dad had finally had enough, nearly chasing them from my room calling them vultures and the like. In my mind, I had been in the middle of telling my story as best I could. I was recalling the very moment I had seen Angel, its red solid orbs of light that stared into Steven and I, its needle-like limbs capable of piercing flesh and bone, the pitch black skin of its face and pure white of its hair. As I watched the police get rushed out, it became apparent that I had stopped speaking quite a while ago.

I blinked away the tears that I hadn’t noticed welling in my eyes and gave a frustrated and pitiful groan. When the door to my hospital door opened, I turned to ask whoever had entered for some water.

Then I stopped.

I found myself looking at a little girl dressed in black, she had to be no older than twelve. She stared at me with a blank gaze that made me feel like shifting to sit up so I could place more space between us. I forced a polite smile on my face, “Hey. What are you doing here sweetheart?”

The girl blinked a few times and looked around the room curiously, I figured her parents must’ve given her some freedom with her hair, considering the long blades of black hair framing her face didn’t match the cropped hair nearer to the back of her head. It looked nice on her.

But still, something about her made my skin crawl. I forced the feeling down, “My name is Morgan, what’s your name?”

The girl began making her way over to the foot of my bed which gave me a better look at her appearance. She reminded me of some international students that had gone to my high school once, she was definitely Asian, but I wouldn’t try and place any specific nationality on her. Though unlike any of the classmates I’d had, her eyes that just peered from behind her bangs were a startling sky blue. She mumbled something indecipherable, her voice was soft and low so I had to strain my ears to hear her.

I shook my head a bit, “Sorry sweetie, I didn’t hear you.”

“Angel.”

It took a moment, only one moment for my mind to register three things.

The fact that a familiar voice was speaking, and not from the girl’s mouth, no. Her mouth hadn’t even moved to speak.

The familiar and foreboding voice had come from behind me, out of the bedside phone speaker.

The girl had just called herself Angel.

This girl, wasn’t actually a girl, it was the fucking demon from the road. I wanted to scream, but all I could do was stare at the human-shaped demon in front of me and fight off the rising bile. Flashes of Steven’s intestines strewn about outside of his body ran through my mind as those sky blue eyes pierced my very mind. I swallowed, hoping to make my throat feel less like sandpaper to no avail.

“What do you want?” I found myself asking, half hoping that it was there to kill me.

The demon moved just a step closer and laid a hand over one of my covered legs, I flinched violently but it didn’t seem to care. Crackling came from the bedside phone once again, “You’ll get to work soon.”

I felt my eyes well with tears and weakly shook my head, “Just end this…please.”

It tilted its head, a confused expression forming on its face. “Embrace you?”

I hesitated before my body moved of its own accord and gave a tired nod, I just wanted this to be over. “Please,” I whispered looking for any sign of mercy in the unsettling sky blue eyes across from me.

The confusion melted and was replaced with something dark, “I will embrace them.” Its body nodded towards a picture frame by my bed, with me and my family smiling on a beach. I felt my stomach knot in fear.

“No. No, no don’t!” I shouted reaching for its hand.

My father burst into the room with concern etched on his face, “Morgan?”

I just stared at him, wide eyed and crying before looking to the foot of my bed. Angel was gone. There was no evidence of the demon ever having set foot in the room, yet where its hand had grabbed my leg felt uncomfortably warm like the weight was still there.

I breathed in shakily before looking to my father, knowing what needed to be done. I gave a weak smile, “I had a nightmare. I’ll feel better when I get home, and get to work.”

The warmth on my leg faded, and with that warmth, something else was taken.

I knew then, that Angel and I, had come to an understanding. My father was confused and assured me that it would be fine if I took time to relax and take care of myself, I just sat there, unresponsive.

I haven’t seen Angel since, and I know that’s a good thing. My family is still worried about me, and I’m sure they’re going to keep worrying. After all I haven’t spoken a word since the hospital room, and not because I don’t want to. They try to speak to me and all I can do is stare at them. I’m sure they think it’s trauma, again. Perhaps it would be best if they continue to believe that.

But I understand now. Angel is like a parasite, yet it needed my permission to use me, invade my mind, tell me what to write. Its hold on me is strong, heavy and overbearing, keeping me rooted here, keeping me isolated, keeping me mute with no other way to talk besides using the words you’re reading now. That’s why it robbed me of my ability to talk about Steven until now, and then even my voice.

I can hear it sometimes when I cry into my pillow at night, “A trapped mind will simply prance when given freedom.” It’s like letting it use me, let it into my head too.

Just be aware, this is not a survival guide, a warning, anything of the sort. If you meet Angel, you’re either dead, or you’re like me. That’s what it wants. More people hearing its voice, more people writing about it. I can’t escape, I won’t ever be able to as long as I love my family. And now that you’ve read my story, Angel has reached out. My words, acting as its fucking conduits to reach you on the other side of the screen. Hopefully you didn’t think about it too hard, hopefully my story didn’t strike a chord with you, hopefully you kept your mind walled off and distant. But this is out of my hands now, I just have to keep on living, waiting for it to tell me what story I’ll write next.

A thought just occurred to me.

I might be writing with you soon. Hope not.

- Morgan

#creepy pasta #creepypasta #creepy #writing #story #not ts #gore #tw gore #theo writes

[child-of-sunshine]

Just gotta rant for a minute so this is going under a cut

I can’t stand the way tumblr in general talks about “rich people” (which they can’t define to save their fucking lives) and particularly when they mention “millionaires” as though it actually means something significant in terms of wealth. 

First, no one seems to understand that by today’s inflated standards, a million dollars really isn’t that much. A quick google search will tell me that the average “middle-income” parent in America will spend over 250k to raise a child from birth to 18 years old. If a couple has 4 kids, they’re already spending over a million dollars on those kids. Yes, that’s over 18 years, but it’s still meaningful.

If a person makes 100k, which is supposedly the 85th percentile of income, it only takes them 10 years to make a million dollars. And yes, obviously they’re spending money too, and it’s not like their savings or their net worth are going to be a million in that time, but people don’t even seem to comprehend that their earnings over that time would literally be a million. Someone earning the average American income, let’s say 50k because I get conflicting information from various sources, would only take 20 years to earn a million dollars.

And calling “millionaires” (putting that in quotes because people (a) do NOT understand the difference between net worth and actual liquid assets or even income) rich, particularly in the context of the “eat the rich” rhetoric, is ridiculous. I know this site has a serious problem with black-and-white thinking, but for fuck’s sake.

Let’s take a look at my parents.

My dad grew up in a relatively low-income household. His mother’s grandparents came straight from Italy with a few dollars in their pockets and nothing else. Her family struggled to get food on the table at times. She worked very hard as a seamstress and married a man who had a good job at Ford back when that meant actual benefits including into retirement, and so they managed to raise two boys without having to worry too much about being able to afford food or housing. They saved like crazy and spent the minimum that they possibly could on themselves, so that when they reached retirement, they had a pretty decent amount of savings for the rest of their lives and could finally enjoy some luxury vacations and get a small but nice house in Florida.

My mom grew up in a truly low-income household. She was the youngest of five siblings living in a tiny, shitty town in Nowhere, Michigan, with two parents who smoked constantly, in a house that sat next to some kind of horrifying mystery waste pond (she and both of her sisters had cancer, my mom at just 36, and one of her brothers died from some kind of unknown neurological deterioration). Her father got TB and spent time in a sanitarium, after which he became a withdrawn alcoholic and then died relatively young. Her mother became depressed, stopped working, and died of cancer. My mom lost both of her parents in her early 20s, before she even met my father.

Both of my parents were gifted with the great privileges of great brains and being white. Even in their crappy hick town in the middle of nowhere, my mom managed to be in the top of her class (of 56 whole people) in high school and earned a scholarship to a state university, literally the only way she could have afforded to attend. My dad worked to pay for his college as far as I know (because back then you could actually do that). They both got bachelor’s degrees. My dad became an engineer, a good career, and quickly found a job with a relatively new, small local company. He worked extremely hard, long hours for years and moved up to being a manager, and the company has grown a lot over the 25+ years he’s now worked there, with the result that he now makes a low six-figure salary. My mom took a computer programming course after realizing her journalism degree wouldn’t get her much paid work, and has worked as a programmer for 25+ years now, switching jobs sometimes, usually making somewhere in the 60-70k range in the last decade or so.

My mother got pregnant with my sister around the time she and my dad got engaged. She was working a crappy programming job and he’d barely started as an engineer, making nowhere near six figures. They lived in a trailer park, in a trailer with a hole in the floor and steps that were a safety hazard. She’d spent some time living with her sister, who’s 13 years older than her and never had children (thus had a house and some savings). My dad’s mother, the seamstress, made my mom’s wedding dress for free as long as my mom bought the material for it, which was just about all they could afford. They had a nice, small wedding when my sister was about 2 (she was afraid of my mom’s dress lmao) and one of my cousins took the pictures.

Four years after my sister was born, my parents had saved up enough to put a down payment on our house, a moderate-sized family home in a suburban neighborhood that was just being built. The house was a little over 200k. She got pregnant with me and the house was finished just after I was born.

My mom got cancer when I was 2 years old. They haven’t talked to me much about it. Her sister spent a lot of money to buy her a really nice wig made of animal hair (which, unfortunately, she could rarely wear because it made her very itchy). She went through surgery, chemo, and radiation. She spent months sick as hell and miserable, while trying to raise two young daughters. Thankfully, they’d saved enough to be able to handle the medical bills, particularly with my dad’s good job that had good benefits and, by then, was paying him a pretty decent salary. My mom recovered, thankfully (over 20 years in remission now!).

In 2008, when the recession hit, my mom lost her job quickly. She tried finding new ones but couldn’t. No one was hiring programmers, they were getting rid of them. Her depression got a lot worse. I was in high school and depressed myself (in large part because of the situation at home, though my parents don’t know it, that became suicidal depression a while afterward), and they had to start paying for therapy for me. My sister was in college and had to try to pay for it herself because my parents’ college fund for her hadn’t gone as far as they’d hoped. My dad’s company supplies machines to auto manufacturers. They were worried. They laid off some people, thankfully not my dad, and others had to take pay cuts. My parents started sitting down and seriously going over finances. My mom and I had to completely quit figure skating, my only physical stress outlet (like I said, that contributed a LOT to the severe depression). We had to cut down the grocery bills and think about not buying gifts for family members’ birthdays and such. My grandparents, happily retired by then with good savings, paid off the rest of our mortgage and told my dad to pay them back without interest whenever he could, so that no matter what happened with the jobs, we at least wouldn’t have to worry about losing our house. I listened to my parents scream at each other over money and I cried myself to sleep a lot of nights.

Guess what? My dad is a millionaire. Definitely not in liquid assets, but in net worth he probably just barely hits 1 million. He now makes a low six-figure salary and when the economy is doing okay, he invests some of it in the stock market, mostly in low-risk stocks that are guaranteed to have payouts (I don’t know a lot about this, so that’s all I’ll say). He inherited/learned his dad’s extreme money-saving ways and saves as much as possible. He’s an engineer and very handy, so whenever possible he does home and car repairs himself to save a lot of money. I managed to get a scholarship that covered almost all of my undergrad tuition, I lived at home for half of undergrad and all of med school to save money, I worked in retail in undergrad and as an EMT in med school to pay for some of my own stuff, and they didn’t pay for any of my med school tuition, so that’s it for their educational expenses for me. My mom’s had a good, stable job for the last few years that pays in the low 80k range, I think. We live in a house worth ~250k that we now fully own thanks to my grandparents. 

A few years ago, my dad’s brother bought a crappy, tiny, nearly-condemned cabin in the woods up north for about 20k (seriously, it was shit). He and my dad put in a few hundred dollars and a TON of time and manual labor to fix it up, and now we pay half the bills on it and both of our families use it for vacations. We have a small (19ft) boat that my dad bought as a gift for my mom when she had cancer--he got it extremely cheap from a guy who’d bought it, barely used it, and just wanted rid of it. It’s a 1994 and full of problems now, but we’ve managed to keep it going (barely, at times) and my dad has taken really good care of it over the years. A friend of my dad’s got him into snowmobiling about a decade ago and once his brother bought the cabin and they fixed it up, my dad got a cheap, crappy used snowmobile, which he used for a few years before reselling it and upgrading to an actually nice, new one, because yeah, he could afford it. He’s upgraded a couple times, good for him. When I actually have the time off, I go up with him in the winter and ride one of his old ones that he kept and fixed after it had an engine problem. It doesn’t cost much to renew the trail permits each year and I borrow my uncle’s gear for riding, so other than the initial cost of the sleds, it really costs us nothing to go riding (gas is extremely negligible in snowmobiles, they can go 120+ miles on a single 8 gallon tank, and we store them ourselves at the cabin so we don’t pay for that). We store the boat in our garage at home (like I said, it’s small) so other than the permit and gas for that when we take it out, again, really no continuous expense.

My parents pay all of their taxes without trying to do any bullshit work-arounds. They don’t have a lawyer or a tax accountant or a financial advisor, my dad does it all himself. He keeps track of all of our finances himself. We don’t pay a landscaping service or a cleaning service or any of that crap, we do it all ourselves like any other middle-class family. My mom donates regularly to charities for cancer, animal rescues, and injured veterans. 

But to tumblr, incapable of seeing nuance, we’re “one-percenters (absolutely nowhere near true) who own a house and have a ‘vacation home’ and a boat and recreational vehicles” so we’re pretty much just as bad as Bezos, because anyone who isn’t actively struggling to put food on the table or in horrible medical debt because of our disaster of a system is apparently “rich” and there’s no such thing as shades of gray.

#sorry that was insanely long #no one will read it though so it doesn't matter #that's why I made the read more #just needed to write down thoughts and bitch #I hate the politics on this site #so many good ideas SO badly implemented #the splitting on here is completely fucking ridiculous #and I'm really sick of seeing things that imply me or my family are evil and inherently bad for existing comfortably #and going on occasional vacations #and being able to afford the medical bills when I got a tumor and needed surgery

[squirrelly831]

Fainting [Seokjin, Yoongi, Hoseok, and Namjoon]

Warning: Namjoon’s reaction has to do with a panic disorder, so read at your own risk.

Enjoy~

Seokjin

May was a web comic artist and she was known to pull all nighters. Due to that, her boyfriend, Seokjin, would make it a priority to check on her at her apartment especially on days that she didn’t answer his phone calls or text. Sure, call him overbearing, but he knew how May got when it came to her work. She’d work herself to death if she was left alone too long.

So, when he found out that they had an early day, he was excited. He knew May was in a crunch as her deadline for her weekly post was nearing which meant to him that his girlfriend wasn’t taking care of herself. He sent her a text to let her know that he was going to stop by that night and make dinner, but his text went unread.

That night, Seokjin entered her dark apartment, “May?” He called out as he took off his shoes and headed to the living room. When he flipped the switch he was greeted with horror. “MAY!” He dropped the groceries without a care when he heard the eggs break as he rushed to his girlfriend’s side. May was twisted in pain. Her eyes didn’t open when he grabbed a hold of her burning flesh. He felt her forehead and cheek, “You have a fever…” He whispered. He picked her up and took her to bed before he went scavenging for medicines and a wash cloth.

After he cleaned up the groceries he dropped, he gave Namjoon a call and explained the situation as well as to let him know he would not be returning home that night. Seokjin made a quick stop to the convenient store and got some soup ingredients before he returned to May’s place.

Seokjin finished the soup and brought it to May’s room just as she was sitting up. May sought out her glasses when Seokjin rushed to her side, put the soup down on the night stand, and handed her the glasses.

She put them on and looked up at Seokjin, “Jin? Why are you here?” She glanced around the room. “Why am I in bed?” Her eyes widened, “Shit the comic!”

Before she could get out of bed, Seokjin’s shot out and pushed her on the bed, “You’re not leaving this bed.”

“Seokjin.”

“No, don’t Seokjin me. You were unconscious in the middle of the living room” he snapped. May opened her mouth to say something, but she quickly shut it and bit her lip. “You promised you’d take care of yourself. Instead you were overworking yourself even though you have a cold.”

“I’m sorry… I was going to deal with the cold after I finished my panels.”

Seokjin wanted to be mad, but the sad regretful face his girlfriend made was impossible to stay mad at. He took a seat on the edge of her bed, “Good. Now, you need to eat.”

Once May recovered, Seokjin took her out to celebrate her recovery and for hitting 100,000 likes on her latest chapter.

When her food was placed in front of her, Seokjin snatched it. She gave him an exasperated look, “What the heck?”

He grabbed his chopsticks and picked up some of her food, “Say ah~”

“Jin, I’m not a baby” she complained. He held the food there for a moment and May leaned forward to eat it.

However, he pulled it back and ate it with a satisfied look, “Too slow, jagiya~”

She rolled her eyes and grabbed her food, “You’re so lame…”

“No wait, I want to feed you once. I promise I won’t take it again.”

She grabbed her chopsticks and shook her head, “Nope. Too late.”

Yoongi

Amanda always told her best friend and boyfriend, Yoongi, to rest and not to overwork. She didn’t understand the life of an idol as she was just a normal college going girl, but she did know when Yoongi was neglecting his health. Though they dated, sometimes she had a habit of acting like an over bearing mother and not a girlfriend.

However, though Amanda was always on his case, no one was on her for the same neglect. As a college student, she had her own stress to deal with. One being the horrid final exams. Most of them weren’t bad, except her one chemistry exam. She wasn’t even a science major, but it was a basic requirement. Unlike other basic requirement course professors, this one was serious about her class. So much so that the final was 60% of the overall grade. Amanda struggled with barely scraping by with a 75 in the class. Failure was not an option.

Her neglect started slowly, missing one meal or scraping off a couple of hours of sleep, but as the exam steadily approached Amanda pulled more all nighters or ate a small snack through the day. Her head buried in a book and Yoongi would have never expected what she was doing. He had decided to leave her be until after finals season as he knew she wouldn’t so much as glance at her phone.

The day of the exam, Amanda’s nerves were haywire. She was surviving on coffee and an energy snack. Her eyes developed large bags under them that makeup couldn’t hide. Her hair was unkempt and thrown into a ponytail. When she finished her exam she stood and a wave of dizziness hit her. In her head, she reminded herself that she’d get sleep when she got home. She unsteadily made her way down the stairs as the steps blurred and refocused.

Her professor looked up at her, “Are you okay?”

Amanda’s head felt hazy. She saw her professor speak, but couldn’t make out the word. Her eyes rolled as she collapsed in front of the desk. She didn’t hear the gasps of the other test takers or when her professor grabbed her phone to call an ambulance.

Malnourished. That was all the doctor had to say to Amanda when she woke up with an IV attached to her arm. The doctor insisted on keeping her overnight much to her disappointment.

So there she was in the hospital bed as she waited for the nurse to bring her nasty hospital food. Her mind wondered to her exam. Had she been able to turn it in? Her trail of thought was interrupted when her door swung open and her boyfriend ran in out of breath and looked frantic. “Yoongi” she breathlessly called out. “What are you doing here? I thought you had a photoshoot.”

Yoongi shot her a look “I’m your emergency contact, stupid. I ran here when I heard you fainted. Exhaustion, fatigue, dehydration! Are you mental?”

Amanda looked down with guilt riddled on her face. The last thing she wanted was to worry Yoongi who had his work to worry about. “I was just trying to make sure I didn’t fail my class…”

He pulled up a chair to the side of the hospital and sat down with a relieved look. He took her hand and held on to it tightly. Amanda could feel how shaky his hand was. “I know you always worry about me when I overwork and I never took it seriously. However, when I got the call you fainted because of exhaustion. My heart stopped. We need to take better care of ourselves, okay Jagiya?” She nodded and he leaned forward to kiss her forehead. He wasn’t going to let her go through exam seasons alone ever again. He made a promise to himself that he’d make time to stop by her place to pull her from her studies.

Hoseok

Hoseok was at the practice room with his best friend and crush, Mariah, who agreed to help with with his new choreography. She was a dancer just as he was which was how they met. He went to her dance studio and took some classes and the next thing he knew, they were always together.

Mariah was dressed in a turtleneck shirt and jeans as the winter weather was insane. She regretted not bringing a change of clothes that she would be comfortable to dance in. The heat of their bodies was suffocating. She grabbed the top of her turtleneck and fanned her face with it. She sucked down her water and jumped up, “Alright” she clapped, “Break over.”

Hoseok groaned as he stood, “How many more times until we call it a break?”

Mariah placed her fingers under her chin, “Let’s stop once we can get to the first chorus perfectly. Remember, even if we mess up, we will go through the whole song before we redo it.” Mariah looked in the mirror to catch Hoseok’s nod. She hit the play button and got into position before they started dancing.

After the third time, Mariah felt dizzy. She crouched for a bit to try to refocus. She felt like she was on fire. She took a deep breath, “Alright, one more time.”

Hoseok noticed her ill expression, “Are you sure? You don’t look good.”

Mariah waved it off, “I’m just sore.” She played the song once more and got prepared to dance.

“Mariah, hey! Mariah!” She woke to the feeling of a cold water bottle pressed to her face. She slowly opened her eyes and noticed her upper body was supported by Hoseok’s body. “Can you stand?” She nodded and he helped her on her feet only for her knees to buck. He caught her before she fell and he picked her up, “I called a taxi, I’ll take you to the hospital.

Once at the hospital it was determined due to the excess heat and the tight turtleneck shirt, Mariah had overheated and fainted. When the doctor left, Hoseok broke down.

He held her hand as guilt overtook him, “I should have paid more attention you how you were feeling. I’m sorry.” He wouldn’t listen to anything Mariah had to say about the blame. He would accept it was his fault.

Namjoon

He thought he knew his best friend, Jessica, like the back of his hand. However, there was one thing she never told a soul. She had a panic disorder. She didn’t find the need to tell anyone about it as she was on medicine that kept her calm.

Though the meds helped most of the time, they didn’t help one day after she got into a heated phone argument with her parents. She was tired of being disrespected and treated like a child by her verbally abusive parents. She was tired of being pushed around by them. She did everything for them, sent them money though she was struggling with her own bills of tuition, took care of her siblings even though her mother was a stay at home, and ran their errands. However, Jessica reached her boiling point and she snapped.

Namjoon had entered her apartment without announcing himself when he heard her screaming. He ran into the apartment to see her phone shattered on the other side of the living room and Jessica hyperventilating. Namjoon rushed to her side to calm her, but she sobbed harder and gasped for air as she choked on her sobs. Her hand flew to her chest as her legs became jelly. Her attack lasted long enough that Namjoon called her doctor to rush over. However, as she stopped crying, she still gasped for air before she ultimately fainted which only made Namjoon panic.

Jessica’s doctor rushed to her apartment when Namjoon called her. She explained her fainting was caused by the lack of oxygen to her brain due to her hyperventilation. She wrote out a prescription for Namjoon to pick up for Jessica and after he went to get the medicine he went to her bathroom to get her small glass. As he was in her bathroom, he noticed a prescription pill bottle with Jessica’s name etched on it. As Jessica slept, he looked up the medicine only to discover it was an antidepressant and was used for panic disorders.

He was upset that she never told him she was suffering. He reached for her hand and stared at her unconscious figure. He wouldn’t confront her about it and wait for her to open up about the series of events, but he would look into how to prevent and stop a panic attack. He refused to let his best friend suffer alone.

Part II

Credit to gif owners

Written & revamped by Squirrelly831

♕ REQUEST

☮ BTS MASTERLIST

∞ ULTIMATE MASTERLIST

#kpop #kpop reactions #kpop scenarios #seokjin #bts #bts reactions #bts scenarios #seokjin scenarions #hoseok scenarios #yoongi scenarios #namjoon scenarios

[zizeschmizes]

helping hand. | solo

WHO: lauren zizes (& antonio zizes) 

WHAT: help comes in the form of a call from home.

WHEN: 10/15; late afternoon

WHERE: outside of A Latte Fun Coffee

Lauren pushed out of the coffee shop, walking a few paces away from where patrons passed through into the busy campus spot and paused to put in her earbuds. Finding a job on campus and around town was proving to be a major pain in the ass. Everything from work study assignments to in town gigs had been snatched up long before she'd started looking. 

It was her own damn fault, really. Adjusting to the new reality of sophomore year was taking a lot longer than it did in her previous semesters. Then, she'd been lucky enough to snag a choice spot in the library. Working the front desk usually meant long stretches of time spent watching movies and doing her homework in between stacking books to be reshelved and answering the occasional question from a lost student. 

Now she was left scrambling. Her softball scholarship covered her tuition and the basics of housing (on campus) and meal plans, but the rest (like living) was up to her. Refusing to touch her savings meant budgeting herself to only the essentials but even those were starting to feel beyond her bank account. New camera lens, an extra external drive to house her pictures, a new fall coat...the dollar signs were giving her a headache. 

Lauren sighed. A Latte Fun was her last resort. She'd tried the barista thing back in New Orleans, slinging coffee the spring and summer before her freshman year and it wasn't terrible, just not ideal. Still, a job was a job, and the coffee shop would prove helpful. Not to mention workable with her schedule. She just didn't know when she'd actually sleep. Of course this was all pending, she wouldn't know about the job until later, but the interview had gone well. Still...she needed a backup, just in case.

There was a sharp pressure building at the back of her neck, a sure sign of stress and Lauren absently rubbed at the spot as she made her way back to campus, where a long night of editing was in her future. She'd picked up a side gig, snapping pictures of Homecoming Weekend for Ginsburg's Alumni Association and needed to get the files for last weekend's big game to the webmaster by morning. 

The sound of her phone ringing paused the music that played softly from her earbuds and Lauren was prepared to ignore the FaceTime request until she saw the name. She hit 'Accept' and the familiar sight of her eldest brother's face coming into view made brought forth the first genuine smile she'd had all afternoon. 

"Hey, Nono."

"Hey! You busy?"

Lauren shook her head and took a break from her walk to sit on a nearby bench. "Leaving the coffee shop. What's up? Where are you?"

Antonio flipped the camera, giving Lauren a brief glimpse of the gym in the background, decked out in LSU purple and gold before turning it front facing. “Just finished up, bout to meet Gabe for food. Haven’t heard from you in a minute.” 

“Yeah, I know” she replied, ignoring the tiny pinprick of guilt that followed. “Still tryin’ to get settled with school and stuff.” 

Brown eyes, much like her own, held a sympathetic gaze and Antonio shook his head in the camera’s view. “Figured you were busy that’s why I reached out. It’ll be your turn to hit me up next time. Everything okay?” 

“Yup!” Lauren nodded, backing up her strained response with a smile that wasn’t as bright as her first one, looking as tired as she felt, and she was seriously regretting a video call. Because she knew her brother and knew he’d pick up on her weird mood right away. 

“Something’s wrong. What happened?” 

There it was. The worry that she didn’t want to hear. She was fine to handle the problem (that wasn’t even a problem) on her own. As the first of the bunch, Antonio had the responsibility of wrangling the others and keeping them in line. He was their parents’ pride and joy, the dutiful eldest son who’d followed in his father’s footsteps. 

Star footballer, exceptional student, LSU’s twice elected homecoming king leaving college a legend, with a degree in hand and a top pick in the NFL draft. He was the blueprint the others were expected to follow and it drove Lauren crazy that on top of everything, her successful, saintly, stupidly handsome brother was also a total sweetheart. 

He was good for a deep talk, looking out for his siblings in a way that Lauren always appreciated...but not now. She didn’t want to hear about how ‘things would work out’. She just wanted to hide under her covers for a little while, just enough time to suck it up and stop feeling sorry for herself. 

“It’s nothing. Got a lot of work to do, and I’m still lookin’ for a job. But it’s fine, really.” This smile was better than the last, going for subtle as she continued, easing back into a drawl that matched his own. “Congrats on the game, by the way. Y’all ate Florida up.” 

Whether or not Antonio bought it, his face gave nothing away. Instead, his lips twisted into a grin that bordered on cocky and for some reason made Lauren miss home more than anything...if only to throw a pillow at his head and wipe it off his face. “Yeah, we did alright.” 

“Y’all are number one in the division, it’s more than ‘alright’. How’s Gabe?” 

He shrugged. “Still a jackass. You gotta come home sometime, get your brother together.” 

Lauren laughed. “He doesn’t listen to anybody.” 

“Yeah? Sound familiar?” He grinned at the ‘shut up!’ that followed and the laughter that came after. 

“I know he was on best manners with the parents there, though.” 

“Oh you know that. We missed you at Homecoming.” 

She shrugged. “It’s Homecoming here, now. Our game was Saturday too. We won, by the way.” 

“‘We’?” 

“Showing my school spirit. I had to take pictures of the events for the alumni association so I went to the game. And I gotta do a few other appearances. For softball stuff. Whatever.” It wouldn’t do to point out that her parents had yet to attend a homecoming at Ginsburg, despite never missing one, or any home game for her brothers at LSU. That ship had long sailed and Lauren had no intention of bringing up old shit. 

For his part, Antonio skirted past the topic, recognizing Lauren’s dismissiveness. Still, he couldn’t help but ask his next question. “You sure you’re okay? You don’t need anything?” 

“I’m fine. Just tired. Long weekend. Long week ahead.” 

“Okay. Well good luck with the job stuff. When’re you hearin’ back from them?” 

“I don’t know. Sometime this week.” The ‘hopefully’ was silent, but her tone said enough and Lauren shook her head at her brother’s look of concern. “I’ll be fine.” 

The angle of the phone changed slightly, Antonio’s face tilted upwards and he hummed an absent ‘Mhm’ at his little sister before the connection blurred and went on pause. 

“Antonio? What…” It was only a minute or two before he returned, now in the driver’s seat of his truck and grinning at a perplexed Lauren. “Where did you go?” 

“Check your phone,” he told her, ignoring the question altogether while setting his phone in the holder on the dash. “Should be getting an alert now.” 

Sure enough, the muted tone beeped in her ears and Lauren paused the video feed to check the text notification from her bank’s app, and the alert that $300 had been added to her account. The culmination of the rough day, and her brother’s kindness brought a lump to her throat and she swallowed it down, taking a deep breath before resuming the video. 

“You didn’t have to do that, Nono.” 

Antonio rolled his eyes as if Lauren’s stubbornness was a mild inconvenience and not the Zizes trademark. “Yeah, I did. You need it, I got it, and I know you ain’t askin’ anybody. Especially not Ma or Dad. I got you.” 

“Thank you. I’ll pay you--” 

“Nope. That’s yours. It’s fine. Just get somebody hot to play me in the movie you write about us, all I ask.” 

That made Lauren laugh out loud, drawing a few looks from people ambling on the sidewalks but she paid them no attention. “Issa deal.” 

“Good. I gotta get Gabe but I’ll tell him you said hey, okay? Love you, Lozinha!”

The call disconnected and Lauren paused her music. Antonio’s generosity wouldn’t completely solve her problems, but it made things feel a little less chaotic. She would still pursue a job, whether it was at the coffee shop or somewhere else because she wouldn’t rely on that kind of bailout, no matter how much Antonio insisted it was what he was there for. 

With a sigh, Lauren pushed off the bench and slinging her bag over her shoulder, began the trek back to her dorm and the mountain of work that waited.

#para.all #para.solo #para001