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invisiblegarters · 1 year

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GAP Ep 8 & 9

Episode 8

Sam is so thirsty and I love that for her. Although damn her for quitting and leaving both Mon and me very frustrated. Woman. You don't just rile someone up like that and then go to sleep!

I also really love that she's clearly gone out to buy Mon jammies in her color.

Eh, I think that Mon is more than capable of asking for what she wants, though. I mean, yes, Sam started it and then didn't finish, but Mon is also allowed to ask for what she wants.

KIRK I'm starting to not like you stop interrupting.

LOL oh the work brain trust. Putting two and two together and getting forty five (okay that's not fair. They're on the right track they just have the entirely wrong person). Literally the only reason Kirk wants her back is because she knows about the whole Ms. Sexy Smirk thing (okay, okay, her name is Nita, but Ms. Sexy Smirk fits her).

I have to say, I appreciate Sam's sense of drama. And I did get a kick out of Mon continuously thwarting her attempts at a Lady and the Tramp moment. Aw, "I watched web dramas and they do the same things." I love her.

And we're getting down to business! Finally! Get it, girls!

*insert a few moments later pic*

OH COME ON.

Although I have to say them calling their friends to tell them how initiate sex is hilarious, as was Jim showing up with a giant bottle of alcohol to be like "just get drunk and your hormones will do the rest."

Nail advice is smart but also, you guys had to know that already, right? Right?

And then, finally. Get it girls! For real, this time.

HA oh my GOD, Sam. It's good that she only has four facebook friends but dear lord.

Okay this whole Kirk thing is a mess. I get that Mon feels like she's stuck in between a rock and a hard place, but honestly, this could very easily be resolved if people would just open their damn mouths and talk. And Kirk needs to stop dragging Mon into completely open areas and grabbing her hands.

I don't mean to laugh at Kirk thinking that Sam is jealous over him, but I am. I really, really am.

Damn, Sam isn't pulling any punches. I want to be mad at her but well, she's hurt and angry and NO ONE IS TELLING HER ANYTHING.

Basically this all Kirk's fault and he's officially on my shit list.

Episode 9

Aw, Mon. She's such a sweetheart that I hate to see her so sad. I do think that she's being a bit dramatic, but I get it. Sam always goes straight for the throat when she's hurt. Hopefully Mon gets her to work on that in that gentle way that she has.

Also, okay, the way everyone in this wakes up with perfect hair amuses me. But did Mon sleep in her clothes?

Pfft, does Kirk still think that Sam is jealous over him? Honey, no.

Mon's parents are so sweet.

I sometimes forget that Sam is supposed to be royalty then they do things like sitting on the floor because she is and I remember.

Sam stop being a dog for Mon it's giving me ideas.

Good on Sam for admitting that she was jealous. But seriously, she really really needs to work on that temper of hers. I say this as someone with a nasty temper myself.

Aw, couple bracelets.

Oooh, Mon taking charge of sexy time. Get it, girl! I absolutely love the frenetic piano during this scene. And ha, I love how much it shook Sam. Just enjoy it, girl.

Ms. Sexy Smirk is back! And throwing down the pink gauntlet. Pink is Mon's color, Ms. Sexy Smirk. And uh oh, she's clocked the couple bracelets. I just do not trust that woman - I mean, clearly I am not supposed to, not with that smirk, but still.

She even talks like a supervillain lol. Those pauses midsentence to smirk smirkily at Sam. Is it wrong that I do like her? I know she's gonna cause trouble but I do. She's just clearly having a great time.

I knew this betrayal was gonna bite Kirk though - pretty sure he did too, on some level, even if he convinced himself that Sam would see the good of it.

GO SAM. I honestly thought she'd use Kirk going to Ms. Sexy Smirk as an excuse to break up with him and not mention the whole thing with Mon, but nope. I do think she was kind of using it as a bludgeon but also…well. I never thought she'd do the thing at all. And Kirk has no right to look at Mon like that, lol. I guess he is genuinely into Sam but my dude, how you missed that she doesn't feel the same is beyond me.

Is this where his villain arc begins? Because I could be here for that.

I knew Ms. Sexy Smirk wanted in Sam's pants. Knew it. I mean, not that I blame her, but Sam already has the pink that she wants or needs in her life. Ms. Sexy Smirk is gonna be trouuuuuble, though, and I'm kind of here for it.

Okay, okay, love Sam walking in on Chin and Yha going at it and just walked right back out like "excuse me, just looking for my bracelet, pretend I was never here." It's hilarious and I know that the fear of being fired is real but I also know that Sam isn't going to do it - either Mon will talk her out of it or she'll realize what a hypocrite it makes her.

Oh Chin is married? I didn't know that. Messy.

Getting it on at work. This is exactly why you can't punish Yha and Chin, Sam. But I do like that in the end she chose not to. I need Mon to quit like yesterday, though.

Pfft at Sam locking the door. I do like that these two can't keep their hands off of each other, but also, work is work! Stop doing this at work!

SEE? THIS IS EXACTLY WHY. Also pfft, Yha can make all the uncomfortable expressions she likes but she's the one who kept listening. I do love how delighted she is with the whole thing. "Plot twist" indeed. But Mon should still quit, probably. Go work with Tee. Then come bang Sam on your lunch break.

Okay the destroyed office is pretty hilarious though.

I cheer a little every time a same sex couple is or gets married in one of these dramas, especially in a country where same sex marriage isn’t legalized. I like to think it’s a push for marriage equality. Keep pushing, dramas!

Sam. Sam. What are you doing? You know you can't marry Mon, not really. Unless you want The Worst Grandmother to cut you off, too. I dislike Mon's "I'm not good enough for you (and ha at Cher being like "does she fly? I see her feet right there on the ground")," but she's making good points. I'm betting in the end Sam probably won't have to give up everything but they don't know that, and it's fully possible she will have to. I don't know if she's thinking that part through.

And I can see that episode ten is going to be ramping up to the ep 11 separation, sigh. Time to see how Mon's backbone handles The Worst Grandmother, I guess. Kirk, you are such a little weenie.

#gap the series #episode 8 #episode 9 #officially annoyed with kirk now

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jeepers-coomets · 3 years

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My Thoughts on Monsters At Work Episode 9 (spoilers ahead)

Tylor singing and talking to Giant Eye

On that note, how even though Ms. Flint seemed to change her mind, we don’t see that immediately. That’s nice

“I don’t feel like I fit in here, if you know what I mean,’’ towards Giant Eye

Tylor bringing donuts for M.I.F.T.

Tylor offering a donut to Giant Eye

How the M.I.F.T.ers destroyed said donuts. XD

The mild debate of “didn’t” vs. “doesn’t” when referring to David

The fact that they follow these rituals that David did is super cute

David’s words of wisdom should be a regular segment of Monsters at Work along with Mike’s Comedy Class. PLEASE.

“Profundity?”

“PROFANITY!”

Cutter knows the specific time he died

Duncan impersonating the shredder sounds

Not getting haircuts for David

Francine’s design and respect for the request <3

Not gonna lie, that hair does look absolutely gorgeous. That color is really speaking to me

How everyone is sitting whilst they wait for Fritz to get his not-haircuts

“Think of everything you are, College Boy, and then think of the opposite. That was David”

“HA HA! I LAUGH!”

He called him Ty-Ty.. that’s a step in the right direction, right?

“It was a leap week.”

Tylor saying he’s going to feed Roto. My nerves instantly went on end

TYLOR THE CAGE YOU FUCKING JERK CLOSE THR CAGE!! NO NO NO ROTO GET BACK HERE PLEASE DADDY’S GOING TO BE VERY UPSET IF HE SEES YOUR NOT THERE!!

Also.. did anyone notice that the last drawer where Roto’s cage is set up has a label called “Laugh Extractor’’? EXCUSE??? M E ?????

“You little vermin ball!” AND YOU WONDER WHY HE DOESN’T LIKE YOU

THOSE DAMNED HORNS A G A I N

Roto actively challenging Tylor before eating David’s hair in front of him with no regret. He is DEFINITELY Duncan’s son.

Roto getting sucked into the mail tubes SCARED THE FUCK OUT OF ME LIKE TYLOR YOU THINK DUNCAN HATES YOU NOW HE’S LITERALLY GOING TO KILL YOU IF YOU DON’T GET ROTO BACK BEFORE HENOTICES HE’S GONE

The genuine shot of fear when Duncan asked “And Roto?”

Duncan asking if Roto was a good boi with a little smile.

Of course he was, Duncan. OF COURSE HE WAS.

Rule #1 of Handling a Pet: If the owner asks if they were a good boi/girl, you are legally-bound to say yes. No exceptions. THAT INCLUDES YOU TYLOR

“This is just like that like in…” joke comeback

Number 4

ROZE’S INVOLVEMENT ACK I LOVE HER SO MUUUCH

“Splatz’’ instead of ‘Splenda”

THE RETURN OF GARY AND HIS LOVE WITH ROZE AHHHH

Roze’s purse is really freaking cute. Jose’s purse is also very cute.

Tylor being honest with Roze. She does seem like a great person to talk to

·“I’m calling security.”

ROTO COME BACK TYLOR WHY ARE YOU NOT MORE CONCERNED FOR GETTING ROTO BACK???????

The power outages are still happening in the factory, just not as often. I appreciate that continuity. For those who didn’t catch it, there was an announcement over the intercom about it.

I love that they set up a whole table in the middle of the hallway to have lunch with David and everyone is okay with it.

Duncan explaining how the shredder shaft. Then drinking gripe juice. I am indeed left rife with existential pondering.

ROTO WAIT NO ROTO OH DEAR GOD PLEASE LET NOTHING HAPPEN TO THIS HAIRBALL

I love the design of the door shafts. It’s so creepy. AHH THE DUST PARTICLES WHEN THE LIGHT HITS THEM

TYLOR YOUR DAMNED HORNS

OMG IS DAVID GOING TO SAVE HIM?? IS R A N D A L L GOING TO SAVE HIM???

IS TYLOR GOING TO DIE???

THESE ARE QUESTIONS I NEED ANSWERS TO NOW

Tylor’s glimpse of what the afterlife looks like to monster. I love that it’s a door

THE CHOR OH MY GOSH AS A CHOIR KID I AM GENUINELY GEEKING OUT RIGHT NOW

You know, David didn’t look like the mystic-hippie type, but I do enjoy it.

Huh, Tylor looks nice with that shade of pink, luscious hair

Another symbolic instance where something M.I.F.T. related or logoed saves Tylor. It also happened quite a bit in Episode 7

ROTO THANK GOD HE’S PKAY IT’S NOT THAT EPISODE JUST YET

Roze changing her mind and giving Tylor some of her hair.

“I’m a people-pleaser.”

Just Roze. Roze is perfect. Tell me differently.

Cutter incredibly emotional in the back makes ME EMTIONAL AWW MY SWEET KATHERINE IT’S SO OKAY

You know, I’m not shocked that they could tell the difference even though to us, both locks of hair looks the same. They not only worked with David, but they’ve also been passing by the tuff of hair everyday since the accident. It makes sense that they’d kind of memorized all the little nuances to the hair and could tell the difference.

Duncan being the first to accuse Tylor.

TYLOY, ROTO IS NOT A PET. PLEASE DO NOT SAY THAT IT’S DISRESPECTFUL

The shadows along the walls in this scene due to the lighting are very pretty. <3 <3

“Duncan is right.” No, Tylor. Duncan is hardly ever right. He’s insecure so he shoots at others and sometimes he hits the mark

OF COURSE HE’S A SHEDDER LOOK AT ALL THAT HAIR

Aww, that ending was super cute.

Mike, I think your students are more comically-aware than you think.

Carla still taking comedy classes because she wants to improve her skills and stay on-point. You go, Carla. I love Carla.

THE ENDING IS IN CHOIR MUSIC ADHJHEJBFHJBFJW

You know, not what I was hoping for, but I still really enjoyed this episode! Plus, the fact that Mike and Sulley weren’t in this episode hardly or at all makes me think that next week, we are going to be seeing them A LOT.

#monsters at work #monsters inc #monsters university #tylor tuskmon #val little #fritz #james p sullivan #mike wazowski #roze #maw #duncan p anderson

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alyrae13 · 3 years

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Alright, time to explain my weeb ass! As promised, I’m gonna tell the reasons why I like each Gold Saint and why I see them as the way I do. Keep in mind, I’ll also may have to make this into two parts because of how long this would be in one single post, so please bare with me! Anyway, onward ho!!!

Libra Dohko

Starting off simple! Being a Libra myself, it’s easy to see that I would like this cool madafaka; He’s basically a better, more sensible version of Yoda. The reason I don’t feel very attracted to him is because I see him as the badass grandfather type, like the cool Chinese grandfather that could teach you how to kick ass while also being chill enough to unwind during tea time. 100% Dope Grandpa through and through.

Taurus Aldebaran

Now for the other one! Alde is a man who’s sweet as sugar cane yet as powerful as a raging bull. Despite his height, he’s a kind man when off the battle field and ready to fight for Athena when on said battle field. He’s not a character I’m attracted to because I see him as a strong yet sweet uncle figure who’s ready to stand alongside ya in both normal life and when fighting. He’s a tender giant of a man who supports those around him. Gentle Giant Uncle 100%.

Capricorn Shura

Now we go on to the tricky stuff. Shura, dear god do I love him. His character ideology is just so interesting due to the differences between the manga and anime. Wielder of the holy sword Excalibur, he could cut you to bits and think nothing of it. There’s also a possible angst hanging over him; He was the one sent to kill off Aiolos, knowing well how it would have affected little Aiolia. Imagine the amount of guilt he had for killing someone’s only family member? Even worse when you take the consideration of him realizing that he was willing to kill an innocent man without knowing about it, meaning he now knows he just tore a family apart and cause so much pain in vain. And please don’t get me even started on the Hades Saga and Soul of Gold. His character is just so great to me and I’m glad he was able to get on good terms with Aiolia in Soul of Gold. Plus, he’s a sexy Spanish man who’s super loyal, so why wouldn’t I love him?

Aquarius Camus

Camus, oh boy... Camus is someone who just gives me a whole array of emotions despite him not openly expressing them himself. On the surface, he is rather cold and distant due to not wanting to draw people into despair by showing exasperation, yet he’s still in control of his emotions rather than just suppressing them. His willing to fight for his ideals and for what he believes as correct (Soul of Gold anybody?), and although his way of teaching Hyoga is questionable at best, his only doing what he thinks will make Hyoga stronger as a saint. Despite being a man who appears uncaring and emotionless, he really isn’t. After all, we’re taking about the same man who one stated about hating people who mourn over the past yet also deeply cares for his pupil and about being true to his word to an old friend. Camus is a man who truly cares for those around him despite him appearing otherwise. He’s also a Frenchman, and who doesn’t love a beautiful French?

Gemini Saga and Kanon

Oh good grief this will be a long explanation. For the sake of respect and love for these two, I’ll be going over them individually because why not make this post into a full on essay?

Frist of all, Saga, poor Saga. Dear lord the amount of trauma this man had to go through is just heartbreaking. A man with an undying loyalty to Athena with an evil split personality... A more tragic version of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. Not only was he forced to see his evil side kill Pope Shion and take over his identity, he had to see him try to kill baby Athena and send another saint to kill Aiolos; And he had to endure that fact for thirteen years. By the time he was finally free of his evil half, he was practically begging his beloved goddess to forgive him for all the hurt he caused. A powerful yet tragic man indeed. Then there is his relationship with Kanon (of who we’ll talk about in a moment), because it’s also a little sad. Kanon was definitely, a bit of a traitorous prick in the beginning and it was his imprisonment that led to Saga’s split personality in the first place. Yet you could still say that they at least cared for each other despite all the bullshit they must’ve gone through whilst growing up, because Saga was definitely happy in the Hades arc when he found his brother fighting for Athena.

Now for Kanon, fucking Kanon who despite starting out as an infidel of a man, then became a great character in the same vain as his brother Saga. Dude wanted to overthrow the Pope and kill baby Athena but ended up getting his butt locked in Cape Sounion. Now we know what happens there; Finds trident, get’s Poseidon half awakened, poses as the Sea Dragon and yada yada. It’s only when fighting Ikki does he end up changing because it’s then when Ikki told him the only reason he’s even alive is because of Athena’s Cosmo. So, plans in scrambles and now possibly gripped with an overwhelming sense of guilt, he goes over to Athena and without skipping a beat, becomes a shield against Poseidon‘s trident and begs Athena to forgive him before falling unconscious. And of course, we know about everything in Hades arc.

In the end, both men are equally cherished characters of mine and I won’t have it any other way. Also their handsome Greek men who need hugs and kisses and need to be told that they are loved and appreciated, so...

Cancer Deathmask

Oh Deathmask, you beautiful bastard you... Now Deathmask is more of an asshole than Kanon for reasons we all know at this point but I’m guessing his behavior could be explain simply due to the fact he is literally surrounded by death everyday. Like seriously, is it really a surprise that he’s like this when he’s constantly exposed to seeing the souls of the living fall right into practically hell? Nobody would be the same if they had to endure that, especially since most likely he started training to become a saint at a very early age. Now, this is when Soul of Gold comes into play, because god damn it how they wrote his character is just something. Firstly, he’s shown to be an gambling addict and an alcoholic, clearly unhealthy coping mechanisms for not being able to use his cloth and you know, being exposed to death at an early age and onwards for most of his life. Then we have Helena; Now, I’m not gonna lie, the whole ‘Changed better because of love’ trope is very much old at this point but it’s kinda ok because it shows us ‘Hey, even he has the opportunity to change and become a good man’. Deathmask, despite all the things he’s done against mankind, still has the potential to become an honorable Gold Saint and a decent human being; Plus his a sexy Italian who can rock the goatee look, so yay for the crab.

Pisces Aphrodite

Ah yes, the beloved fish boi. Honestly, I love his character simply because he breaks so many boundaries that it would be hard for me not to like him. He plays into the whole ‘appearances can be deceiving’ stick so well; He looks feminine yet his personally is quite the opposite (to some extent). His personality is something that’s interesting to me as well; Despite being so god damn beautiful, he doesn’t act narcissistic at all and doesn’t even care about having his appearance messed up in battle. HIs belief that power and strength are the most beautiful things in the world speaks fucking volumes to me and explains why he was willing to follow the False Pope’s orders. His character in Soul of Gold was just great as well! Like, to see his abilities and power being fully used to it’s full potential was simply badass and I doubt others won’t disagree with me on that one; He was definitely key in the story despite showing little of him. That’s way I love him so much; He’s a gorgeous Swede who can kick your ass and think little of it. He’s the type of man who will look damn good beating you up while shrugging off any damage to his figure like a frickin’ boss... He’s just that dope.

OK, that’s the first part of this really long post; Honestly this took me nearly an entire day to write, like, really. I had to take a break and ended up taking a nap before finishing this, it was that long. Hope many of you agree with my reasons for loving these characters so far and if not, that’s ok! Opinions are fine as long as no one gets hurt, so it’s fine if you don’t like them like I do! Anyway, I’m just gonna rest now because my fingers are killing me. Have a great day guys!

#saint seiya #gold saint #soul of gold #capricorn shura #aquarius camus #gemini saga #sea dragon kanon #cancer deathmask #pisces aphrodite #libra dohko #taurus aldebaran #anime #favourites #knights of the zodiac

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bansept · 3 years

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Let’s dance

/NSFW WORK/

While it’s not the absolute worse, nor the absolute best I could come up with, it’s a pretty nice start of the maybe long series of NSFW scrabbles for my dear Ichihime fandom!

To anyone who was a bit thirsty, I give you this fresh refreshment that I hope isn’t that bad!

DANCER ORIHIME X STUDENT ICHIGO

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Blurry windows and foggy mirror, heavy breaths and skin burning.

The light was shining on them, their sweaty bodies moving in rhythm with the music, the gentle voice of the instructor ordering them around, making each movement matter.

Now, if anyone had told Ichigo he would be taking dancing lessons, staring at his reflection in half anger, half concentration and listening to young teenage girls giggle behind him, he would have slapped them. Not because dancing was shameful, because frankly, it definitely was not. Well, except for some dances, like the macarena or shit like that. No actually, Ichigo would not have believed himself for agreeing to come to dancing lessons to stare at the instructor.

As in, gawk at her.

Ichigo Kurosaki’s week had started as normally as any other week : waking up early, drinking liters of coffee, going to work on some english literature thesis, eating with some friends and coming back home to work until way too late at night, and starting over again.

Yes, he had been told several times by everyone he knew that coffee was bad when it was too much, yes, he had been told to work better on his thesis if he wanted to study and teach Shakespeare. Easier said than done, and that was why his friends had kept rumbling about either taking a break, thank you Chad, or stoping any distractions and really work, fuck you Uryu.

He was sitting across them, stirring his lunch leftovers slowly while the tall half Japanese half Mexican giant was pushing his hair out of his eyes, looking around them as Uryu was probably talking to him. Ichigo tended to not care much.

“So you better get back on track before your old man decides to stop…”

“He’s not lending me money anymore. I work now, you know?”

Uryu threw Ichigo a quite unimpressed look, closing his mouth only to push his glasses up his straight nose. Chad was holding back a tiny smile, but Ichigo of course saw it.

“Giving lessons to kids and working part time in a dojo isn’t really enough to pay for important studies. Or keep you floating like now for the rest of your little life.”

Ichigo gritted his teeth together, a hand digging in his pocket to hold onto his phone, anything hard to stop him from throwing hands with his friend. He really wondered how or why he even talked with the blue-eyed man in front of him.

“Excuse me?” A voice came from the side, clear and ringing in his ear loud enough for Ichigo to turn his head around. Any distraction was good enough to momentarily wipe Uryu from his mind.

Ichigo felt his grip on his phone loosen, just like his jaw.

The angelic voice that had called them was probably the most angelic form of life on Earth, putting to shame anything renowned painters and, god forbid, even Shakespeare, had ever described. With long, fluffy and so exquisitely soft looking auburn hair, bright grey eyes surrounded by a round face, with subtile eyebrows, a cute little nose and, fuck, pillowy lips…

The young and oh so magnificent woman was slightly leaning towards them, an inviting smile on her face while her slender hand was handing over rosy flyers.

“I’m sorry to bother you, gentlemen, but we are offering free dancing lessons to promote the opening of our new dance studio.” A sweet smile and Ichigo felt his eyes widen further. “Would you be interested?”

With the push of his friends, and because he was perfectly unable to say no to such a goddess, Ichigo was the only one to accept, the other two finding some kind of weird excuse. But really, the young man was perfectly fine in agreeing to go alone there.

What a fantastic recruit they had chosen for the job, he marvelled, walking down the sunny streets with his backpack, staring at the flyer that the gorgeous woman had given him. He wondered if she would be here, in this class, jumping around in sportswear and doing whatever dance lessons did. Ichigo snickered when he realized he’d be one of the idiots doing those idiocities too.

After a good 15 minute-walk, the orange-haired man stood right at the front of a brand new building, the white walls making the golden-ish design of the sign shining in the sunlight. Windows with closed curtains made him raise an eyebrow, but he still entered the dimly lit building, the office desk standing elegantly, but alone.

“Hello?” He asked, voice calling out in the empty space.

God, he hoped he had not arrived too late. Or worse, too early. Ichigo hated to appear eager, even if his brain reminded him that, actually, he was.

A few quick steps rushed on the clean floor, the young woman appearing from the corner of a room, head out of a door, that certainly led to the dance floor. Damn, he hated that word, but like the way her face lit up seeing him.

“Oh! You came!”

Now, if his heart had jumped when Ichigo had first seen her, now something else did when she walked up to him in tight clothing, working out clothing, that hugged everything and didn’t leave much to the imagination. The man quickly got his backpack into his hands and placed it in front of his groin. Breathe in, you can do it.

“Well, huh, I told you I would come, right?” He chuckled airily, watching her smile again, her shoulders lifting up in happiness, her breasts bouncing NO DON’T THINK ABOUT IT.

“Thank you for coming, sir. You are right on time for the 3PM lesson. Others should come, but classes are mostly in the morning. Though I could make an exception for you!”

She brought her hands together in a small clap, and Ichigo did blush but desperately hoped it didn’t show.

It did, and the young woman pointed at the door in the back, with written in both English and Japanese “changing room”.

“You can go get changed, here is the key. Please be ready in 10 minutes.” she bowed to him slightly and walked back to the studio, slower than when she came in, and Ichigo felt his eyes trailing after her, impossible to stop himself or walk ahead as long as she was in here.

“I’m fucked.”

Yes, he was.

His young, overactive and definitely way too interested brain had created this mental image of dancing lessons, yoga sessions and massages to be a place of filth, where people turned into beasts and let nature rule them over as one of them was bended over a table while the other pounded in them. Instinctively, the clever and thinking part of said brain had stopped the idea, assuring him they were only fantasies young people in rut had twisted to fit their horny selves.

Unfortunately, part A of the brain had been right, and part B admitted defeat immediately when the session started with stretching methods.

With the instructor showing, naturally.

Going up, down, to one side then the other, running around the room wasn’t that bad. It actually helped get rid of the incoming boner Ichigo felt growing, and he stopped at the end to breathe out, now completely calm.

Apart from the moment she had come up to him to gently help him get the posture right, expertingly taking his hands to place them where needed, showing him how to do the exercise, her butt for him to see, and it was easy to think it was simply a coincidence.

One that brought his hard on back.

Then Orihime Inoue, the instructor, who had given him her name at the very start of the session so they would stop calling each other “Miss” or “Sir” as if they were still in school, came next to him and asked him to do some squats.

“I don’t see how that helps the dancing…” He doubted, looking at her in the eyes, and she chuckled lightly, raising her hand to pick up his arms and place them in the air, in front of him.

“Dancing is beautiful and powerful when you have good leg muscles. And while you do have muscles, if they themselves are not powerful enough, you won’t last very long.” She explained.

He sighed, argument hitting the spot, and did as many squats as her, next to him. If he was going to do some body work, then it would have been better to simply just go to the gym…

“Come on, don’t day dream! Do 50 and then we’ll see how you dance.”

The world stopped, all the clocks ticking in the empty void, head turning to stare at her incredulously, catching her puffing out her cheeks and laughing out loud, holding on to his shoulder to avoid slipping on the ground.

“I’m kidding, Ichigo-san! Don’t worry!” She kept laughing in her hand, and the young man felt several things : first, shame for letting his fear sweat outside of his body. Second, amusement at her dorky laughter.

The third emotion was out before he could control it, pulling her close to him and taking her hand off her face. Orihime looked shocked by his actions, ears and cheeks reddening from the effort as well as embarrassament.

“What…”

“That’s enough exercising for now. Let's get to the real work.”

He looked into her eyes, who had kept on looking up and down his body for the last half hour, her hands who ran up his arms to land on his collarbones, mouth opening slightly to let out nothing but a tiny “yes”.

He had been on fire for multiple reasons in life : because of anger against his father, his friends, sometimes his sisters. Because of grief, when he had to help other family members carry his mother’s coffin. Because of anxiety and weariness, because of exercise.

But this time, when he walked the two of them to a bench by the side of the room, he was burning in need and hunger.

Orihime was also fever like, the nice and calm mask she had slipped on falling away with her tank top, leaving her in just a sports bra while she kissed Ichigo deeply, tongue easily giving up the dominance in favor of the man’s own flexing muscles.

The sound of the music all but disappeared when their bodies collapsed together, hungry kisses and nails like tiger’s claws on each other’s skins.

With a quick breath, Ichigo pulled away from her mouth to kiss her neck, lapping at it gently, her hand going to his hair while he touched the skin of her hips and stomach. Softness and hard muscles seemed hard to combine, yet there she was, smooth smooth skin covering powerful muscles, ones that he would enjoy teasing.

After the kisses, his head got lower and lower, caging her lower stomach, not touching in the slightest her breasts, that would come later.

“Hmf, what are you... “

“Sh, don’t talk too loud, others might hear.”

He grinned from ear to ear, looking up as he licked his lips, her breath catching in her throat. Orihime’s hand suddenly caught his hair and pulled him up, as gently as possible, and they kissed again, one nibbling on the other’s lips, Orihime’s hands getting under the man’s wet shirt, feeling the tight muscles, the crease between each abs, the v line digging in his shorts.

“No one else is here… So, don’t hesitate to yelp, Ichigo.”

She murmured agaisn’t her lips before going deeper in her search, this time digging in his shorts to find what she seeked with a grin.

Ichigo yelped indeed, not expecting the woman under him to get so bold, yet there she was, feeling him up and stroking him in his damn shorts.

Fuck, would be the right word to use.

He didn’t utter a single vowel, bringing her pants and her underwear down rapidly, going back to kiss her as their lips found each other again, lost in moans and the electric touches of their tongues. Orihime kept on stroking him, gently pumping him up and down, the member in her hand turning even harder as she placed her thumb on the slit. Slick came out of it, and she chuckled at the man’s reaction : eyes closed and shaking behind the eyelids, Ichigo seemed ready to burst at any moment, but he groaned, not accepting an early end.

His finger, that had been on her lower stomach, stroking at her sensitive part, now had entered her, one by one. The long digits didn’t waste any time in looking for her gspot, that tender place inside of her that would make her see stars in seconds, if he was careful enough.

“Ichigo… No, not like, th-that…” She moaned against him, her free hand digging in his hair, pulling her face in his neck to try to resist the impossible pull on her body. “I… need….”

“I know, baby, I know… Let me take care of it…” He whispered back to her, placing one kiss on her forehead. His fingers came out of her, taking her own hand off of him, even if he twitched in insubordination. “You’re all good, Hime, you’re good…”

He reassured her, voice gentle like he knew she liked, hands lowering his pants to angle his cock to her. Ichigo finally freed her breasts from their confined space, letting them overflow on her chest, filling his vision with sights of her blushing face and exposed tits.

“You’re beautiful Hime…”

He smiled at her, rubbing her nose with his with a grin that she gave back, before entering her fully, nice and slow. She yelped this time, voice resonating in the empty room, but never stopping her sweet sound and words towards him as she dug her fingernails in his back, feeling him getting as deep as possible, filling her up to the brim, the end, to the heart.

She pushed her head out of his neck, and with a tiny frown, pouted.

“You didn't play.”

Ichigo winced, the tightness of hers squeezing just right around him, and nodded his head.

“I’m sorry… I tried, but you always look so fucking amazing in sports wear… fuck, I couldn’t just pretend I didn’t know my own fiancée!”

Orihime didn’t answer, couldn’t really, and pulled him back down against her generous mounds before he got started with his thrusts, rocking them carefully against the oh so fragile wooden bench of his future wife’s dance studio.

------------------------------------------------------------

I’ll never forgive my playlist for making me turn what was supposed to be absolute filth into sweet love making on a bench.

Tell me what you thought of it, and how I can better myself!

#bleach #ichihime #ichihime fanfiction #ichihime writing #ichihime headcanon #ichigo kurosaki #orihime inoue #ichigo x orihime #light nswf #not that hard #ichihime nswf

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hyperfixationtimego · 3 years

Note

the three wingmen of thh; Leon (chaotic), Kyoto (lawful), and Hina (neutral)

Kyoto was 100% the reason Celeste is dating Junko, it’s canon now. She is extremely involved in seating for extracurricular activities (i.e. the tea parties), and commonly puts them together. She finds putting Taka and Mondo apart...helps them?? She has no idea why but if they’re seated far from each other, they are immediately cuddling once they leave the room.

Grey-hair and Blue-hair girls are dating, no I do not take criticism (grey hair has braids I think and protects a mob guy?? and blue hair is the mastermind ig, she has black glasses apparently) - queer eye anon

oh my god yes???

Leon and Chihiro were some very powerful masterminds behind ishimondo ngl 👀 like chihiro’s brainpower combined with kuwata’s sheer strength of will?? UNSTOPPABLE those gay bitches never stood a CHANCE

although to be fair, most of their plans DID involve using a digital lock and/or utilizing alter ego to somehow force them into an empty room and keep them locked in there until they finally confessed 💛

Leon ALSO wingmans for sayaka because they’re besties who hate each other ❤️ he’s constantly cracking jokes with her about how she should just text Mukuro that she wants to fuck, or jokingly advises her to use raunchy pick-up lines on Sakura. He’s come very close once or twice to just. Blurting out “HEY MUKURO! SAKURA! SAYAKA’S GOT A HUGE FUCKING CRUSH ON Y-” only to have the idol clamp a hand over his stupid dumbass mouth <3

it’s okay because sayaka absolutely gets her revenge when she has to wingman for him and makoto (the only reason she doesn’t completely fuck up kuwata’s chances and embarrass him is because she’s besties with Makoto, too, and knows the poor guy’s ALSO got it bad. There’s a lot of Sayaka (and literally everyone else too) having to deal with some gross oblivious loveydovey pining from these fucking dorks, so she gets her fill of teasing)

And Hina wingmanning for Sakura???? Bruh okay u have no IDEA how much serotonin platonic sakuraoi gives me simply because????? Them?????? They????? Love???????? I love them???

And basically Hina’s just the right amount of empathy/sympathy and logic!! Her main, go-to piece of advice is “just talk to them!” And - surprise - trusting her on this usually leads to having fun and making good memories with the object(s) of affection !!

She’s such a sweetheart??? And like yes ofc she doesn’t have an answer for everything, because her heart is just a lil bit bigger than her brain sometimes (ok but mood tho like no shame this is both kin and projecting) but she’s trying her best!!! As she always listens to whoever needs her at that moment and gives the best advice she can - which isn’t even limited to romantic situations!!! She’s one of the go-to students for when someone’s having, like, an everyday problem or feeling stressed because she’s so non-judgemental and soothing to be around!!!

It’s Hina appreciation hours 💛

Anyway, Kyoko-

she also (unfortunately) is forced to wingman for Makoto and Leon, which means a lot of listening to naegi ramble on about how cool and nice and interesting and pretty and blah blah blah kuwata is (don’t get Kirigiri wrong, she adores Leon, but a girl can only take so much, y’know?)

and requests for Makoto to simply......TELL LEON are almost ALWAYS refused because nope no way in hell absolutely not and so she’s like great I’m gonna go bang my head against a desk because I seriously cannot take the two of you anymore

eventually she (secretly) goes and talks to Leon, without betraying Makoto’s trust or disclosing any information she feels he would not be comfortable with, does her best to subtly hint at the fact that hey. koto’s got a crush. you should fucking ask him about it before I go completely insane. Leon doesn’t fully get the hint but does go talk to Makoto, which FINALLY prompts some goddamn CONVERSATION about it thank GOD

also sorry sorry not to ramble but I just????? an idea hit me like a gd truck and I need to talk about it because I love???? I love????? I love

sometime after all this, Kyoko gets inadvertently wrapped up in co-wingmanning with Makoto for Komaru and Toko/Jill. Except. Those three have no clue about the fact that there is any wingmanning going on.

so kyoko’s like “why are we doing this”

and makoto’s like “because she’s my sister and she’s in love and I want her to be happy!!!”

“Okay but shouldn’t they work this out on their own”

“Not if I have anything to say about it!!!”

“*Sigh.* Goddamnit.”

And then Leon eventually hears about it, as well, because of course makoto’s gonna talk abt it with his boyfriend, why wouldn’t he, and anyway kuwata’s like OH?? POG??? because he and Toko and he and Jill are friends!!!! So he’s like I’ll totally help omg Fukawa and Syo are gonna STOKED

(Makoto does not comment on the fact that Toko most likely will not, in fact, be stoked by the idea of kuwata meddling in her love life, but does at least advise his dear 0-braincell partner to be careful ❤️)

okay okay sorry I’m a simp for tokomaru and syomaru on main but anyway back to kyoko and seating charts-

YEAH ON GOD???

And poor Kirigiri already has trouble comprehending how social interaction works that this kinda shit just???? Completely breaks her?????

“Why.....do people.....react different.......like I will accommodate for it but.....I do not.....understand......”

does not fucking compute

(Also shhhhh don’t let Korekiyo know that there was something about human behavior Kirigiri didn’t understand because somehow they will materialize from the shadows to go on a softly excited special interest infodump ramble/lecture that lasts hours and hours)

But yeah???? Ironically enough, she’s honestly the only person from her class who’s able to, for the most part, figure out how Celestia’s mind works, and so she’s able to use that to her advantage when setting her up with Junko!!! (The thing with Celeste was that it sort of became a case to Kyoko!! Celeste was so Obviously different in her behavior and mannerisms than everyone else that Kirigiri basically ended up treating learning about her the same way she would treat trying to solve a crime or something similar!!)

For ishimondo she chalks it up to “absence makes the heart grow fonder???” she guesses????? seriously she has No Clue

also she doesn’t pick up on it but they DO give each other pining puppy dog eyes from across the room the whole goddamn time like they’re just [y e a r n]

And OKAY ANON???? HEY ANON????? WHERE ARE YOU HIDING THE FUCKING GALAXY BRAIN JUICE???? HELLO???????

I. how is it possible to not know the games and yet,,,,,,,conjure up a concept so incredible????? Pekomugi,,,,,,,,,my g o d

Ok ok ok ok ok hold on hold on lemme gather my thoughts because holy fuck

FIRST OF ALL, Tsumugi is a GIANT nerd, so the thought of having a SWORD GF???? A GIRLFRIEND WHO IS A SWORDSMAN???? HOLY FUCK?????? she can live out her wildest samurai anime fantasies,,,,,,,because she quite literally has a swordswoman girlfriend who would protect her with her sword oh my g o d

SECOND OF ALL, Tsumugi also????? fucking loves sitting in on Peko’s training sessions to watch her beautiful incredible wonderful darling partner spar??? and use badass techniques and strategies???? Literally Tsumugi is always blown away??

and she ALWAYS comes and barrels into Peko to give her a gigantic hug and shower her with kisses once training’s over!!!! And Peko doesn’t understand because

“I am hot and sweaty. I am currently very gross, why are you kissing me,”

“No!!! You’re stunning and perfect and charming!!!! You make me swoon!!! Oh, dear knight, hold me in your sweet embrace....”

meanwhile peko’s just like babe pls let me go take a shower

and okay final thing I promise, but....Peko is absolutely astonished by Tsumugi’s cosplay abilities???? Like with a lot of her works, Peko can hardly even believe that that’s her gd girlfriend????? Like sweet JESUS her datemate is damn good at makeup and disguising herself and whatnot

“cosplay is an art and you have perfected it,” like catch tsumugi fuckinf crying

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hatsukeii · 4 years

Note

Hello! Can i request a Hq matchup? I'm a 5'1 female. People describe me as cheerful, optimistic and easygoing. But my bffs know that I burn out when I socialize too much and push myself with studying. I love music, books, and art. A bit intimidating but when you get to know me, I'm a softie and a crackhead to my bffs. My mood changes often but I get over it quickly. I'm very energetic but I need to relax in a quiet place and cover myself in blankets so that I can recharge. Thank you very much

*Huff* Matchups are gruelling lmaooo

Your matchup is:

🦔Asahi “No I’m not a drug dealer no I don’t grope people on the streets the worst thing I’ve done is accidentally step on a kitten’s tail” Azumane🦔

Awwww this sweetie.

Asahi’s the type of boyfriend that would politely protect you at parties. He won’t put up a fight, he won’t argue, he’ll just politely ask people to back off you and your friends. What a gentle giant, we all love him. He doesn’t mind piping up at a party with you, sometimes even joining in on the gossiping like a new addition to your girl friend group. However, whenever you feel like winding down and just going home to cuddle, he’s all up for it too! He’s just so soft oh my god he’ll literally do anything for you he’s an absolute keeper-

Y’all he’s so good at handling your mood swings like what- You’re angry? He has chocolates in his bag just for you. You’re suddenly sad? He got you lunch and invited you over for a game date. If you’re happy? Great, he can just joke around. You’re suddenly insecure? He will literally do a forty minute presentation on every single thing he loves about you. He can cope with every single one of your moods as easily as he keeps his man bun up.

CUDDLES. HE LOVES CUDDLING. He likes to keep you close at all times like the protective husbando he is. Loves to play with your hair, even though he has long hair himself. His excuse? “Girls have softer hair, lets face it.” Gives you cheek pecks 25/8, and holds your hand everywhere. He’s so sweet dear LORD-

Wow, you like books, music and art? He’s hooked. He will bring you on bookstore dates. A lot. And he’ll also get you books in the meantime. If you enjoy going to art museums, good. He’s a sucker for those aesthetic ass angel sculptures, or the abstract works hung up on the majestic walls. He may not be able to do music, but he sure does enjoy it when you give him song recommendations and/or play him music. He will not hesitate to sing along to whatever you’re listening to, and will sometimes take one of your earbuds just to learn more about your music taste.

Overall: 10000/10 boyfriend material.

Catchphrases:

“Ah, sorry, they’re not very comfortable with guys coddling over them, please leave them alone.”

“Oh my god, you’re for real? They actually got caught in the classroom doing it? Damn bitches gotta keep it in their pants, geez.”

“You up to go to the museum tomorrow? I heard there are some cool statues there!”

“Can I braid your hair? Pleaaaaaase?”

Other possible matches:

Yaku “Lev stfu or I’ll kick your skyscraper ass like it’s nothing” Morisuke

Daichi “Tsukishima you irritate someone one more time I will kick you out of the team” Sawamura

Goshiki “When am I finally gonna be the ace” Tsutomu

#haikyuu #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu scenarios #haikyuu headcanons #haikyuu matchup #haikyuu asahi #hq #hq x reader #hq scenarios #hq headcanons #hq matchup #hq asahi #asahi azumane #asahi #karasuno #matchup #anime

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five-wow · 4 years

Text

i watched 10.20! thoughts under the cut, as always.

steve running away from his memories in slow motion is how we start out and i should have expected that because i’ve seen this as a preview but still, oh gosh. (i also just have... so many things to say about all of the parental figures we’re shown steve is thinking of and all of their many, many failings, but that would turn into far too long a meta analysis of steve’s life to even start in on it now. (it makes me so mad though. urgh. you ruined a perfectly good human! look, it’s got, well, about a million issues, really. slow mo beach running means things are either romantic or very bad in fiction world, and i regret to say it’s not the former for steve.))

tani rolls over in bed and it’s empty but it’s empty because junior has been up making her a HUGE BREAKFAST. HE IS WEARING AN APRON. I AM IN FAVOR OF THIS.

i already know tani has some issues with self worth relationships and that they work it out at the end of the episode (i’ve seen the gifs of junior offering to be less sweet and tani telling him VERY RIGHTFULLY that he wouldn’t know how) so i’m not extremely worried, but ahhh, it’s still so sad to see junior put in all this adorable effort that tani fully deserves and tani just doesn’t know how to accept it. heartbreaking from both angles, nooo.

ALSO, tani says she usually just grabs a coffee on her way to work and junior says “yeah, and you’re usually late because of it” and i literally today wrote a paragraph for a fic where i claim that tani is usually first at the office these days (because danny forces steve and junior to sit down for breakfast with him), so way to debunk my writing, canon that i clearly should have just watched a week ago so i could have avoided this situation. :p

“i shouldn’t have asked you to stay over.” ack. no. junior’s face is breaking my heart now, too.

and then he STARTS CLEANING UP. jfc, boy, we already know you’re a saint, you don’t have to keep proving it when you’re looking like a kicked puppy.

ahhh i just realized that if danny is not in this episode because he’s... idk, visiting family again? and junior is staying over at tani’s place, then steve is home alone. that’s bad timing, guys.

ah, RIGHT. he’s not home alone, because gerard hirsch broke in and started drinking his coffee. i’m having flashbacks to sang min, ha.

fdjkfdjkfd okay, this is a good scene, though. eddie! steve’s faces! steve LEAVING THE THE DOORS UNLOCKED becuase he doesn’t like running with his keys! also what, he came in through the back door and he apparently leaves the front door open too, like... just in case? STEVE NO.

aha, danny’s on spring break with the kids! okay, danny, you know what, you forgot someone. home alone: fully grown navy seal edition.

hirsch: “so, i’m guessing reyrei is now official.” fjdkfd i never quite know how to feel when shows include shipnames in their canon because it’s usually very weird, but i appreciate the effort, i think!

i’ve genuinely enjoyed hirsch’s reappearance so far, but as soon as he took tani to meet his uncle (who is now a suspect in a murder cold case) i knew there was going to be an uncomfortable comment about tani being pretty and yes, yes, there was. i mean. i guess i got to enjoy being right?

hirsch: “i know from personal experience she does not respond to talk like that.” okay!!! you know what, i can actually work with that. hirsch is learning, developing, maybe ditching his grosser habits. as long as they’re not going back on that in this same episode, that’s good!

very convenient to have the guy you’re questioning already hooked up to a machine that tattles on his heartrate, haha.

tani: “he made me breakfast.” hirsch: “that monster!” i am. i am actually starting to like hirsch in this episode and it is very strange but very nice.

fjdkfdjk junior says that he knows for a fact that danny got everybody “one of those” (an alexa) for christmas, and i LOVE THAT because it’s wonderful continuity with 10.16, when steve calls on alexa to prove he’s going on a date and they make a whole point of mentioning that danny bought him the thing. also, though, danny, bud - i don’t know how great it is to give all of your friends the temptation to let amazon spy on their lives even more than it already does. maybe go for socks next year.

junior unloads on lou and then they have a tiny dance party in the car and that’s so unexpectedly cute, omg.

very random, but i just really appreciate duke. he’s been there from the very beginning and he’s still giving the team these valuable little bits of needed exposition on the regular. he’s very loyal and drama free and it’s always nice to see his face. shout out to duke.

the old roommate of hirsch’s uncle tells a story that sounds very accidentally incriminating for hirsch’s uncle, which probably means the roommate is the actual murderer. i’m calling it now.

the roommate actually SAYS the uncle was the murderer! ooooh. he’s definitely guilty now.

tani agrees with me!!! only she has some actual evidence to back this claim up apart from knowing how crime show plots work, because she is a Good Detective.

steve talks the grieving widow who was part of a diamond thieving couple down from the brink of killing her husband’s killer by telling her he knows what it’s like to lose “the most important person in your life” and it’s very obvious the writers are making a point here but it’s also very good!

though i did keep getting a little distracted by how perfect this woman’s hair was after running through the woods, lying on the floor half dead, spending most of the day in hospital and then going on a violent quest for revenge. damn. diamonds buy amazing hair products and a personal styling team on call for when you’re in the middle of a crime spree/emergency, i guess.

some eddie/hirsch hints here that i’m going to ignore because oh dear god no.

i??? from the gifs i saw i assumed that the episode would end with some kind of party in the mcgarrett backyard, but that’s not what is currently happening as such, so those string lights are just... always there? oh my gosh. i have no idea if we’ve seen them before and i’m only just now paying attention to it, but more importantly, i don’t know if i want steve to have put those up himself, or danny to have bought them and forced them on steve’s garden like he forced alexa on steve, except with less moral issues connected to a tech giant harvesting your personal data.

tani opens up and she’s crying and junior tells her he’s not going anywhere (duh) and I’M crying!

junior, mid-hug: “i could totally start being meaner, if that’s what you want.” I STILL LOVE THAT. that’s so stupid and so sweet and so stupidly sweet.

oh boyyy, while everyone is having their social moments somewhere in the house, steve is hiding out in his garage and listening to his father telling him not to be a cop on tape. AWESOME. I’M SURE THAT’S FUN AND OKAY AND NOT SETTING UP ANYTHING. this is also why this steve needs a danny in his life, because it’s definitely high time for some agressively caring emotional support to be forced upon this man.

annnnd he gets a call from a british guy who wants to hand deliver him a package from doris.

steve just. hangs up on the guy. omg. perfect. please keep doing that and maybe just, wait for danny and the kids to come home and hug them and take like, a little mental health break? instead of, you know, breaking your mental health, over stuff your mother did, again? gosh.

i will admit i really enjoyed hirsch in this episode! i did not see that coming (and it probably won’t make me like him more in previous episodes) but it was a delightful surprise. and TANI AND JUNIOR, ahhh, i am proud of them and their communication and i love them and junior is the best and tani is perfect. did i mention that i love them? i do. i love them.

(re: the steve angst, i refuse to get myself more worked up about that than i low key already am constantly, so i’m electing to mostly ignore it for now. i’ll see what happens next friday. whatever it is, it’s going to happen whether i want it to or not, so best to make it as painless for myself as possible.)

#h50 #10.20 #*

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valkerymillenia · 4 years

Text

Umbrella Academy

season 2, episode 3

Next!

Again, live blogging and posting my reactions all in one post to avoid spamming.

This post got accidentally deleted yesterday so I had to write or all again (twice!)

Oh, starting with a Klaus and Ben 1960 flashback! Ah, Klaus... You have no shame. Let my baby eat though!

Lol "Chanel". Boy knows his fashion, of course.

And there's Boney M playing!

You can practically read his mind when he sees that diamond. Sugar momma alert! 😆

Damn, loving the black outfit, very sexy.

LEVITATING KLAUS WAS BEN LIFTING HIM UP! Seems that one crack theory on the fandom was right 🤣

Ben's face though 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

These two are the best combo. I love them.

61, Baja, NM. Traveling hippie commune.

Is Klaus still sober? He refuses a joint here so I'm inclined to believe that he is but he isn't acting very sober... Then again that might be an act, just him embracing the hippy life.

CALLED IT!!! BEN FALLS IN LOVE, DOESN'T HE?! I FUCKING CALLED IT IN EP 1!

62, Varanasi, India. The river scene from the promos. Yeah, I called this one too. Klaus is already looking seriously uncomfortable and realizing this is getting out of hand.

63, San Francisco. Poor Klaus is practically suffocating under all the touching and nobody respects his space or his words.

Destiny's Children! 🤣 You are such a 90s kid, Klaus.

Run away, Klaus! Run! Escape the crazies.

Ok, let me paused to write out a thought...

So a lot of people were worried about the cult thing and Klaus's intentions but it's clear he had no malicious intentions at all. He charmed and impressed some people for survival purposes and thrived, he enjoyed the love and attention at first and the cult just grew around around him organically whether he liked it or not, more a hippy cult of personality then a religious sect, but at some point he saw that it had gone too far, the pressure and expectation became too much and he realized he'd bitten more than he can chew.

It's actually rather sad how he just wants to escape but the cultists objectify him to all hell, he has no privacy or personal space. The problem with Klaus is that he doesn't do anything mildly, he always goes too big until he's drowning. Boy is already self-sabotaging and I'm sure he's going to start self-destructing very soon as well.

End of thought. Clicking play again.

Ouch! Poor Diego 😰 Lila, that is not how you cauterize a stab wound...

"what happened?" -your dear daddy stabbed you, dude.

Did she really need to strip him so thoroughly? 😏 Yes, yes, she did.

Well, at least she's not sewing you up, Diego. No needles, yay.

"oh, he isn't dead." "Disappointed?" "To see you? Always 😊" -did I mention I love Five's sass? I did? Well, I do.

Old family friend 😆

"you don't untie him?" "Was I supposed to?" Oh Lila, you're adorable, poor Elliot.

Vanya, that is suspicious as hell, just mow down that weirdo!

Ok, good instincts but too slow.

Run, girl, run!

Got to admit, these Swedes are good battle strategy, they are surrounding her surprisingly well.

Is this were the badass Vanya promo was from? Show me badass Vanya, please.

BADASS VANYA! 💖

Ooooooh, very smart, Five!!!

One of the machines though? What are the others for? I'm curious.

Plano Street Rooming House for Solitary Men? That's real depressing, Luther.

It's the "the end is nigh" guy the same that was screaming with Luther in ep 1?

King Kong! Not sure if cute or rude af...

Ahahahah! Luther literally STUMBLING on "Allison" and then acting like an awkward Steve Rogers when the kids call him out 😆 Boy, when will you realize that your obsession is creepy?

Honestly, ALL the Hargreeves siblings can be divided into two categories- sweet awkward dork or sass king/queen, there is no in-between (but Diego and Klaus get to be both).

Convenient that Vanya would just sit there and wait to be found by Five but ok.

"I have a brother?" -honey, you have five (pun fully intended)

IKEA MAFIA! 😂

Nice crop circle, Vanya.

Five just rolls with the amnesia, huh? Doesn't even question it. Ok, then.

Why is Ruby, notorious mobster, sewing sequins? It's it for the dog? I bet, it's for the dog.

"Hargreeves. She your ex?" *Cue Luther's super awkward fumbling* "S-Sorta...Y-Yeah. Sure." - big boy, this is the point where you realize how creepy your crush on your own sister is, time to reevaluate.

KLAUS AND ALLISON REUNION! THEY ARE SO CUTE! 😭💜

Honestly, I need more Klaus and Allison interactions. They have so much bff potential.

*le gasp* "oh, you're married?" 😲 -yes, Klaus, you met him.

"dicks, drugs, debutants. My holy trinity" -ok so everything Klaus says should be taken with a grain of salt but does Klaus still do drugs or not? Considering the evolution of his powers with Ben I'd say no, but we aren't seeing other ghosts harassing him so... Hmm, I need confirmation.

"alternative spiritual community" my ass

Ah, Allison falls into the sass queen category.

Allison can have a little PTSD, as a treat. 😢

Those shoes! Hi, Handler.

Those shoes really are her signature by now. Those heels could kill a man.

Handler as a brunette...? She looks good but I like her bleach blonde.

What did she say to make that boy pee himself?? Damn, Handler, no wonder your kid is a mess.

These dudes need to start listening to my girl Allison, instead of following her husband like puppies.

Great speech, girl! ✊

What is up with that sandwich???

Oh wait, it's Ben right? Klaus is using his powers to get Ray out of jail, isn't he?

Yup, of course he is.

Ben being all sassy and cocky about it gives me life.

"high places" - 😆

Poor Ray, you have no idea what you've gotten yourself into.

"family barbecues are about to get reeeeeeeal weird" - I'd actually like to see that.

"leave the pot, dear" - you're such an old man, Five.

"any questions?" Five, if be worried if she DIDN'T have questions after all that.

"asteroid impact" -aww �� you really do care for her feelings, Five... But you have to tell her the truth sooner or later.

Harlan likes classical music, huh? Good thing he knows a good violinist.

Harlan and Sissy... 😭 My poor heart.

Ouch! What is wrong with you, Lila? You're right but what is wrong with you?

"I can't believe I got shanked by my own father" - can't you, Diego? Really? After everything else that man did to you and your siblings?

"man to man, that son of bitch wouldn't stand a chance" - yeah, he would, he taught you all you know, boy

Not sure if Lila's story is true or not but... I still have that one theory that she was born on October, 1989...

"I don't understand you!!!" - ahah, poor Diego 🤣

Really? Right in front of Elliot's tuna mold?

Man, Handler is really obsessed with Five...

Oh, Luther, you giant puppy...

This is so AWKWARD!

Bonbons, Luther? Really?

Ok, this small talk is even MORE AWKWARD! It physically hurts to listen to this.

The pain in his face and voice when Luther goes "S-so great" 😭

boy, this is the moment you realize it's time to move on, you're not isolated teenagers in a dysfunctional home anymore, let her be your sister and find love elsewhere.

The sit in!

"seven languages" sassy, sassy, I love her.

YOUNG DAVE!

Oh no... Klaus, no, baby... Oh, this is painful.

Ben, don't be mean, let your brothe have this.

What kind of gay man doesn't know what eggshell is? 😆

"is this considered stalking? 'cause I think you're stalking now" - well, BEN, following your brother 24/7 for 15 years can also be considered stalking

Oh no, Vietnam flashbacks... Poor Klaus 😭😭😭

"Vietnam fling"? Ben, you know it wasn't just a fling! Stop being mean.

Aw, Klaus just wants to save Dave... He's willing to sacrifice their relationship to save Dave's life... 😭😭😭

I know Ben is just worried but he could be less mean...

Damn, this sit in thing is really upsetting...

Why is Ray being weird? Is he suspicious of Luther and Alison's relationship? Or is he just unhappy that Allison kept secrets about her family?

Oh Luther, no... Self-harm by proxy is not going to make you feel better.

Oh, motherfucker! That coffee thing was such an asshole move!

Shit, this scene is so well written, the way something so small is making the whole protest escalate to all hell... The police brutality, the parallels with recent events... Disturbing and brilliant and deeply relevant!

Yes! Rumor that motherfucker, Allison!

Oh no, don't be scared of your wife, Ray! Don't be suspicious!

Poor Allison... 😢

Oh Luther, you dumbass... 😢

Lila going to meet mommy, huh?

Oh, she's still wearing Diego's bracelet. Cute.

I know this scene between Handler and Lila was supposed to be a shocking plot twist but after David Castañeda's interview slip up, I already knew.

Still, an excellent scene and very cool surprise.

Like I said before, I really like Lila, I don't trust her AT ALL but I like her.

...

THIS WAS SUCH AN EMOTIONAL EPISODE... Again.

My god, this show gives me life.

#tua #tua s2 #tua s2 spoilers #live blogging #reactions #my phone keeps correcting vanya to baby #and honestly it's not wrong

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ofstarsandvibranium · 5 years

Text

A Huggable, Kissable Bear

Fandom: Marvel (Cop AU - Sweet as Cinnamon Sugar Universe)

Pairing: Chubby!Bucky Barnes x Reader

As requested by anonymous: Sweet as Cinnamon Sugar date ideas. It’s a small town, so there’s always some kind of festival or fair. Bucky does like to win stuffed animals for the ladies! We used to have outdoor concerts with Motown singers. Mom would pack a picnic and there was a car show. Just some thoughts!

A/N: i swear this is so fucking sweet. yall will need to go to the dentist after this!

warning: implication of fear of heights and a panic attack due to said fear.

Bucky picked you up at your apartment at 6pm. The sun was starting to set and it was a fairly cool night. So you decided to wear jeans, a white tshirt, and a cardigan. Although the outfit was simple, Bucky still found you just as beautiful as when you’re in your diner uniform hair in disarray and there are coffee stains all over your apron.

“So, Sarge, what’s the plan tonight?” you asked as he helped you into his car and hopped into the driver’s seat.

“Well, today’s the Spring Festival. Figured I’d take you there?”

You nodded in agreement, “Great! I haven’t gone in years! I’d love to see if things have changed since then.”

“Great,” Bucky said with a sigh of relief. He didn’t know if taking you to the festival was a good idea. Steve recommended it, but Bucky didn’t know if you were a festival person.

“Great,” you said smiling back at him. As Bucky continued to stare at you, you giggled, “So...we goin’, Sarge, or are ya gonna just stare at me in your car all day?”

Bucky chuckled, “Well, the festival doesn’t have anythin’ on this view right now.”

You giggled again and gave him a playful nudge, “You smooth talker. But seriously, let’s go! You got me all excited now!”

“Alright, sugar, we’re goin’. Hold onto ya panties.” Bucky started the car and switched the gear into drive.

He was driving out of the apartment parking lot when you smirked and said, “You think about my panties often, Sarge?”

Bucky choked on his own spit. He could feel his face heating up instantly as he began to stumble on excuses, “Well, no, I just-you see it’s just-it’s an expression and-”

He stopped when you burst into laughter, “Oh God! Take a breather, Bucky! I’m just kidding with ya!”

His shoulders visibly deflated in relief, “Dear God, sugar, you just about put me into a heart attack.”

“I’m sorry, Sarge,” you leaned over and pecked his cheek, “It won’t happen again,” and you settled into your seat again. Bucky could feel his cheeks heating up again.

____________________________

You and Bucky walked hand in hand along the fairgrounds of the festival. The entire area was decorated with flowers and pastel colors. Very spring-like indeed.

Although very cool on the outside, Bucky was freaking out on the inside. He hasn’t been on a date since he was with Dot. He doesn’t remember how to be this cool, suave guy he used to be. You made him nervous in the best of ways. Your smile, your laugh, hell, your entire presence caused butterflies in his stomach.

“Hey,” you poked Bucky in the side pulling him away from his thoughts.

“Hm? Sorry, sugar. Got lost in my thoughts.”

You tilted your head to the side and gave him a small smile, “Care to share with the class?”

“Well, uh,” Bucky used his free hand to nervously rub the back of his neck, “I’m just..” he looked down and mumbled something incoherently.

You leaned in closer, “Huh?” you couldn’t quite hear due to the volume of the festival activities.

Bucky cleared his throat, “I’m...nervous.”

Your heart swelled, “Buck, it’s okay. I get it, but there’s nothin’ to be nervous about. It’s just me.”

He shook his head with an empty chuckle, “That’s exactly why I’m nervous. You’re-God, sugar, you’re perfect. You’re the sweetest girl I know and not to mention you’re so damn beautiful. I’m this older, divorced single father. I barely get to spend time with my daughter. I’ve gained a lot of weight so I’m not necessarily attracting positive atten-”

“Hey,” you cupped Bucky’s face, causing him to stop mid-sentence, “I told you, Bucky, it’s what’s on the inside that counts. And for the record, I think you’re an amazing man and father. Life dealt you a bunch of bad cards, but you’re making the best out of it. From what I’ve seen, Becca still adores you and holds no malice towards you. And you think you don’t grab any positive attention ‘cause of how you look? You clearly don’t hear Gladys or Irene talk about wanting to jump your bones.” the mention of the older women’s names made Bucky chuckle, which made you smile, “And your smile is so beautiful, Buck.

Bucky’s head hung low, “Geez. What a way to start our first date, huh, sugar? i told you, I’m a mess.”

You shook your head, “I don’t mind it, Sarge. Not one bit.” you slipped your hand into his again and tugged at, “So, you mentioned you’re a pretty sharp shooter. How ‘bout we test that? Think you can win me one of those giant bears?” you nod towards the game booth where you shoot moving targets. The ultimate prize being a giant bear.

Bucky’s shoulders lifted into a confident stance, “Oh, sugar, I’ll win you ten giant bears!” he then dragged you over to the booth, an excited and determined look on his face, making you giggle.

_____________________

Bucky didn’t win you ten bears. But he definitely won you two. They were both a lot bigger than the both of you combined. You decided to keep one and let Bucky take the other home for Becca. You were sure she’d appreciate it.

“I’m gonna be real honest, sugar, the more time I spend with you, the more I wanna kiss ya and hold ya and never let go.”

“Be careful, Sarge. Do that and I’m never leaving your side.”

Bucky squeezed your hand, “Oh I bet on it.”

You both then moved towards the food area. You were completely overwhelmed over the different options of fried foods. Fried oreos, fried hamburgers, fried ice cream. There was even a vendor selling fried alligator!

Bucky nodded towards said booth, “Hey, wanna try alligator?”

You hesitated. The thought was a bit disgusting to you, but you were also curious, “I will if you do.”

“Deal.” he brought you over to an empty table. You both set the big bears on one side of the table and he spoke to the bears, “Alright, fellas, I’m leaving you in charge of this precious cargo here, got it? Nothin’ happens to her.” he looks at you and gives you a wink before he waltz over to the line to get some fried alligator.

You propped your arm on the table, cheek resting on your hand, dreamingly staring at Bucky. You couldn’t believe how lucky you felt to be on a date with not only a great guy, but the guy you’ve been crushing for the past two years since you’ve been working at the diner.

Bucky glanced your way and when he caught you staring at him, a big grin appeared on his face. There was that fluttering feeling in his stomach again.

“Y/N!” your dream-like state was interrupted when you heard your name called. You looked around until you saw Jamie running toward you.

You caught the six year old and pulled her onto your lap, “Well hey there, Miss Jamie!”

Peggy came rushing over to you, looking a bit frazzled, “Jamie Ann Rogers! What did I say about running off like that?”

Jamie shrunk into your arms as she mumbled out, “Sorry, mommy.”

Peggy sighed and bent down to kiss her daughter’s head, “It’s alright, sweetheart. Just don’t do it again, alright?” she then turned towards you and smiled, “Hello, Y/N, enjoying your date with James?”

You waved and nodded, “Hey, Peggy, and yes. He won me these two guys,” you gestured to the bears, “and now he’s getting me some fried alligator.”

“Alligator?! Eeeeww!” Jamie exclaimed making you and Peggy laugh.

“Don’t knock it ‘til you try is, darling,” Peggy said.

“Where’s Steve?” you asked.

“Oh, he’ll be here in a bit. He’s coming off a shift.”

“Oh hey, Peg. Hey, Jamie.”

The six year old waved, “Hi Uncle Bucky! You got Y/N alligator?”

Bucky nodded as he sat on the bench beside you, sliding over three different small paper trays, “I got alligator, kangaroo, and snake.”

You laughed in disbelief, “Excuse me?”

He shrugged, “I got curious!” Bucky held up a skewer to you, “Here. This is the alligator.”

You apprehensively lean forward, taking a reasonable bite of the fried meat, chewing it into your mouth. Bucky did the same, keeping eye contact with you as he chewed.

You slowly nodded, “Alright. It’s not bad.,” you said swallowing.

Bucky chuckled, “It literally tastes just like chicken.” He offered it to Jamie, who pulled away in disgust, “Ew! No, Uncle Bucky!” The three of you laughed at her disgust.

You then bit into the kangaroo and that didn’t taste bad either. You couldn’t really explain the taste. You wanted to say it reminded you of a combination of chicken and pork. Snake was the weirdest one out of the three.

“I don’t even know how to describe it! It’s so weird but so good!” Bucky continued you feed you as you continued to hold onto Jamie, who was now snacking on a hot dog, thanks to her mother.

When you and Bucky finished, Peggy grabbed her daughter, “Alright, sweetheart, we’re gonna let Y/N and Uncle Bucky continue their date. Say your good-byes.”

Jamie proceeded to lean forward kissing Bucky’s cheek and then yours, “Bye Uncle Bucky! Bye Y/N! Have fun on your date!”

You and Bucky grabbed the giant teddy bears and waved good-bye to little Jamie. Bucky then wrapped his arm around your shoulders and nodded towards the ferris wheel, “Wanna go on it?”

You looked at the caged compartments going around in what you thought was a big circular death trap, “Uuuuuhhhh-”

He chuckled, “C’mon. It’ll be fine. I’m a police officer. I’m supposed to make sure you’re safe. So you’ll definitely be okay with me in there.”

You sighed, “Fine, but if we die, I’ll make sure to make your afterlife a not-so living Hell!”

“Alright. Fair enough.” he practically pushed you towards the line to get into the ferris wheel. As you approached the front, little by little, Bucky felt yourself shaking, “Hey,” you looked at him with frightened eyes and his heart dropped, “Sugar, if you really don’t wanna go on this, we don’t have to. I didn’t mean to force ya-”

You shook your head, “No, Buck. I-I gotta do this. Face my fear, ya know?”

There were about five people ahead of you, “You sure?”

You took deep breath, “Yeah. Just keep holding onto me?”

“I promise I won’t let go.” Once you got into the compartment, you and Bucky set the two bears on the bench across from you. Then you and Bucky settled into the other one. His arm went protectively around you and his other hand held your hand. Bucky whispered reassuring words into your ear, “Sssshhh. It’s okay, sugar. Nothin’s gonna happen to ya. I got you, Y/N. You’re safe.”

You cuddled up into his chest, eyes tightly shut as the ride began to move, “Let me know when we’re at the top.”

“You sure?” you nodded and Bucky said, “Alright.”

Minutes go by and you feel the ride come to a halt. Bucky’s whisper startles you for a second, before you calm down at the sound of his voice, “We’re at the top, sweetheart.”

You took a deep breath and slowly and you leaned over the grate, peering down at the world below you, “Oooooh no.” you could feel your heart racing, hands becoming clammy, body begin to shake.

“Hey, hey, sugar, focus on me, okay?” Bucky cupped your face, getting you to look at him, “Look at me, okay? Can you tell me a story?”

You looked at him confused, “What?”

“Just trust me. Tell me a story. Can be about anything you want.”

“U-Uh. Okay. W-When I was first working at the diner, I-I,”

You whimpered and Bucky shook his head, “You can do it. I got you. You’re safe. I won’t let anything happen to you. Keep going.”

You gulped, “I wanted to quit. Some people were rude to me ‘cause I was taking to long with their orders. I was just starting to work there and-and they just wouldn’t gimme a break.”

“Understandable. People are really mean when it comes to their food.”

“You were one of the first people to truly understand that I was just starting and told me to take as much time as I needed. I didn’t need to rush.”

“Well yeah. Not everyone gets the hang of things their first try.”

“You spoke so nicely to me and you thanked me, even if I took to long to refill your coffee. I gave you a cinnamon bun as a thanks and you gave a tip that I didn’t deserve.”

Bucky softly smiled as he recalled that was the first day you two met.

“I knew then that you were my favorite customer, even if I only just met you. Then you kept coming back-”

“The cinnamon buns are really good. I had to keep coming back for more,” Bucky said with a smirk and you chuckled.

“You’re lying and we both know it,” which made both of you giggle.

He leaned forward, forehead resting against yours, “Do you feel better now?”

You nodded and rested your hands on top of his, “Yeah. Thanks, Sarge.”

“You’re welcome, sugar,” Bucky mumbled. He stared into your beautiful Y/E/C eyes. They drew him in like a magnet. His eyes then glanced down to your lips before you closed the minimal distance between you. Your lips pressed against his in an unexpected kiss. For a moment, Bucky was frozen in surprise. You were kissing him??? You were kissing him!!!

He proceeded to kiss you back, which made you smile in relief. By God, your lips were so soft.

“YEEEAAAH! I SEE YOU TWO! YOU GET IT!” you hear a group of young teenage boys yelling at you and both of you pulled away to laugh.

The ferris wheel continued to move and, this time, you weren’t scared. No anymore.

_______________________

Bucky walked you back to your apartment after the comfortable silent ride home. Both of your hands intertwined and resting in your lap throughout the entire ride.

Bucky sighed as he leaned against the outside wall of your apartment, giant teddy bear in his arms. He then rested his head against the wall as he stared at you, “God, sugar, you don’t know how head over heels I am for ya.”

You stepped closer to him, “I think I’m starting to know,” you then leaned in pressing your lips against his once more. After that first kiss you two shared, you couldn’t stop kissing each other. It was an addiction, one that neither of you didn’t want to be treated.

Bucky groaned as he pulled away, “I gotta go. It’s late and I don’t wanna keep Wanda up waiting for me.”

You nodded, “It’s alright.” you took the bear from Bucky’s arms and he immediately stuffed his hands into his pockets.

“I had a great time tonight. The best in a while honestly,” he said with a shy smile.

“Me too.”

“So...are you willing to go on another date with me sometime?”

You nodded, “I’d love to. Just tell me when and I’ll be there.”

“Great.” he then leaned in and kissed your cheek, “Good night, sugar. Hope you have the sweetest dreams.”

“Thank you, Bucky. Good night.” you unlocked your door and stepped in, blowing him a kiss before closing it shut. You leaned against the door, completely breathless. This first date, besides your panic attack at the ferris wheel, was perfect. And you couldn’t wait to have more dates with Bucky.

#Bucky Barnes #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes imagine #bucky x reader #marvel #au #cop au #sweet as cinnamon sugar #chubby!bucky

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archiveofidentityconstellations · 5 years

Text

cass won't share her cheese nibs and bruce doesn't love me and i think?? that i deserve better??? than this???? i'm moving to alaska where NO ONE CAN TELL ME WHAT TO DO

the sequel to that one trix yogurt fic

I feel like I should tell you that I am MASSIVELY fucked up right now

like i am such a garbage heap that oscar the grouch took a look at me and said

“fuckk off!! i have standards!”

anyways

it’s Brimothy, bitch

what is UP mothertrucksrs it is Me i am back here to write a report on the UNBELIEVABLE SHIT I JUST HANDLED.

okay so u know how Gotham city is on crack cocaine all the time. with like some LSD and heroin and never ever any weed except for like who is that pig guy?? nevrm he doesn’t have weeeed but like he is definitely a Pig. what the fuck is his name. what the fuck.

okay so anyways

is it Goyle

Doyle

Pigoyle

tin foil? lmao

OKAY FUCK anyways the City, who Also May Be My Lover, is in a constant life crisis (which i relate? a Lot) and do you want to know this s h i t

Crocodile

Killer Croc

who Steve Irwin would be v disappointed in

Is climbing

into people’s FUCKING TOILETS

???????????????

THIS ISN’T FLORIDA

THIS IS NEW JERSEY

WE WEAR SHOES IN THE WINTER

WHAT SORT OF FLIP-FLOP WEARING CUCKER DOES HE THINK HE IS

okay so obviously KC is a big guy. a Dude. a whack-o whaler of a Male. a Big Boh. the largest banananana in the pack. he is Big. so he cAn’t fit into most people’s toilets. he can, however, fit into Big People’s toilets (big as in wealthy, not As in Tom Hanks)

so KC (crispy,,,nuggest…i wonder if fried alligator is good—not that im thinking of eating him, though someone really should threaten him with cannibalism, like if you’re going to be a bitch about it then you deserve the same done to you, it’s just manners) is in cahoots and canoodles with Someone Who Shall Not Be Named (not bc i don’t know, I do, that’s how detectives work. it’s my JOB to know, and i was a prodigy) but bc there is a whole other report detailing this person and their movements and its case file #4461 if u don’t believe me, but i ain’t no snitch, but i will say that tonight’s events connect to file #4461 so Dad if you’re reading this you should already have it out bc it’s your JOB

speaking of jobs ding ding here is mine coming round the mountain as she comes bc the apple bottom jeans the boots with the fur will be coming round the mountain when she comes shE’ll be coming round the mountain she’ll be coming round the mountain she’ll b e coming round and getting low low low low low l ow low

It was a crisp October night. The sun was blinking its sleepy lids, setting the ballroom with an incandescent glow. Bruce Wayne strode across the floor, his daughter Cassandra accompanying him. They wore matching expressions that the privileged always wear: guarded, yet hungry. Hungry for what? Probably for the crab cakes just out of reach. Neither of them had an allergy, and Cassandra in particular had a propensity to shove anything edible in her mouth, so it really was a tragedy that those crab cakes were all the way across the room. There should really be a table right in the middle of the dance floor just for snacks. That way caterers wouldn’t have to do so much leg work, which is actually a good thing, because that ballroom floor is slippery af. This narrator should know, he has Died A Few Times getting there. Suddenly, the night’s festivities were interrupted by a social faux pas: a scream.

You don’t just scream at regular parties, it’s uncouth and hysterical. But you can scream if the social boundaries have already been crossed, and boy, were they crossed.

You see, Dear Reader, there was a man in the toilet.

I use the term “man” loosely, as his glaring yellow eyes do wonders when you might just crap your pantaloons. You start imagining things, like dinosaurs whcih i am personally a big fan of bc Jurassic Park has a kid named Tim in it and I am also Tim.

hI y is our toilet so big that Killer Croc could wiggle his way up? also how long can he hold his breath.

it seems to be impressively long

hey Bdad how long can he hold his breath? please let me know if you can, and if you won’t i will eat all your wafers becauzs i wa

Mrs. Trenton screamed and fled the impertinent bathroom guest, who wasted no time in ripping the commode to pieces. There was a roar and all the guests paused, unsure if it was merely pipe problems or if they were under attack.

Reader: They were, in fact, under attack.

The guests, deciding that Mrs. Trenton was a social entrepreneur, followed her lead and began to scream. Killer Croc had made it to ballroom, standing at an impressive height just outside the doors.

He was Not wearing a shirt.

okay have u ever noticed that Killer Crog hasn’t got any nipples????? where are they? he’s got pecs but no nipples??

where did they go where are his nip nops i kno people don’t like to think about this but i hAve wondered since i was like 13 like where did they go. has anyone ever asked him.

did they fall off

“Take the crab cakes!” shouted Matthew Fielder, a lil bitch.

“No, take me!” said Cassandra Wayne, who would literally rather die than give up those crab cakes.

Killer Croc paid them no heed. He desired one thing and one thing only, the sweet satisfaction for his carnal craving: Humain Flesh.

(alliteration hell yeah hell yeah take that Mrs. Johnson i do know shit and im creative as well u jusy don’t know how my brian works it’s like a golden goose egg trap ye ye ye)

i just Realized

i am…a high school drop out

i don’t know why im doing this

Dear Reader, as an Aside: Smoking can lead to many health issues, especially if one begins smoking at a young age. Harmful side effects include increased risk of stroke and brain damage; muscular degeneration, eye cataracts; cancer of lips, nose, tongue, and mouth, and nipple loss.

Jason you may want to have a talk with you and your mipples

The terror in the air was stifling. Cannibalism conduct was not something conveyed in etiquette classes. Rich people never expect to be eaten.

Reader, everyone hardly breathed. Something deeply primal had occurred.

From the doorway the golden eyes struck. Deadly. Lethal. Hungry.

This was more than vengeance. It was a sadistic occasion of play.

okay good thing Dames wasn’t there because he fucking HATES KC he gets all huffy and shrieky about him like “he’s a HYGIENE PROBLEM” and it’s like,,,,,.ur right but i don’t want to agree with you because where do we stand if i do that?? as brothers???

i think the fuck not

anyways i just realized i’ve been calling Waylon Jones KC the entire damn time (NEWSFLASH ASSHOLE) but to be fucking h, he wants to to be called that. i called him Allen once and he was so PISSED so i can only think of actually calling him by his name. he wouldn’t even be chill with me naming the sewer alligators even tho they were awesome names. i called one Dundee. that’s fucking genius. that’s just. i’m fucking amazing. stupenous. and unappreciated.

maybe his nipples fell off because he swims in shit every night?????

question: why do i swim in shit almost as often

what the dfck

what are my life choices

i feel like there should have been some fine print involved here

“Robin duties include scraping shit off your asschreks 3 times a week”

mahbe,,,,maybe not what i want

personal choice

though i haven’t really seen any alligators in the sewers for years now, which is

oh my god OH MY GOD HE ATE THEM HE ATE THEM OH MY GOD OH MY GOD !!!!!!!!!!

HE FUCKING HE FUCKING. HE. HE ATE HIMSELF HE FUCNING ATE HIMAELF AND HIS FAMILY HIS COUSINS HIS CPOUSINS HIS FAMILY OH MY GOD THIS IS LIKE MY 8TH GRADE GRADUATION ALL OVER AGAIN

im so disturbed……..i like, need to eat something. Fucking hell. this Not what i had in mind when i decided to be alive.

i feel like as if i woke up one day and i was the only one in the entire world who remembered Caillou. also could pull off my face and eat it like taffy. imw so. i.

mom i know i refused to go to Shabbat when i was ten so i don’t get to say this but:

this is Not kosher

oh heyy i want some pIckes

i was also thinking of takin a spin class?? like fuck it i like to bike. fuck it. and maybe iwdont want bruce and nigtwink fucking watxhing me with their beady eyes. like get those off my calves. my cleavage is up here, gentlemen. stop talking about proper form. some people can do things and suck at them. i’m never going to be like a professional ice curler. and i shouldn’t feel bad about that. who the fuck curls for fun. maybe Canada???????

note to self: look up the history of the sport of curling

i’m going to get good at it to piss off Jason

Back On Topic:

Killer Croc took a step forward. His mouth trembled, watering in anticipation. He took another step.

Mrs. Trenton drew in a breath.

The room was silent.

Far across the room, Bruce Wayne clenched his champagne glass. Cassandra Wayne stopped chewing the crab cakes. Reader, I won’t mince words: Waylon Jones crossed the threshold.

and the instant he put his foot down on the ballroom floor he fucking slipped like a drunkass toddler

like when Damian is really really tired bc he’s like 2 years old (only an evil 2 years old like chucky) and Jason tries to give him a high five

gremlin still doesn’t get that “down low” precedes “too slow”

and he like. faceplants

onto the fucking concrete

and then Bruce yells at Jason

and then Jason yells back

“I NEVER ASKED FOR SIBLINGS”

like it was something we all did, like wrote it down on our batmas lists for Brucie Claus

and im sitting there, a perennial Forgotten Middle Child

and Damian is like still. on the ground.

anyways KC is just slipping across the ballroom, slippering and sliding bc the floor was just waxed and it’s silent except for the wet slaps of his feet against the floor and the screech his tail makes every time he trips (sort of like this) and when he sometimes falls it makes that sound of when your thighs SLAP against the mats and it sounds like a wet walrus coming to cheer you on while a Giant simultaneously swallows a liquid-filled gummy worm down his throat like QAWAGGHHHHHHH only his falls reverberated against the ceiling panels and the cherubs looked down in like. disgust.

Cass began chewing the crab cakes again by the time Killer Croc fell for the twelfth time so idk it was an embarrassing situation

we all did that Thing people do when a social barrier is breached

we like…..avoided each other’s eyes and made light conversation

meanwhile Killer Croc’s body screeched in the background

anyways Matthew Fielder was like “so I hear you dance ballet” and Cass responded “uh huh. tap too” and the chewed up crab cake crumbs fell out of her mouth and onto the floor

i CAN’T

scrambled cock on a cracker, Cass why does Alfred let this happen????? what is this?????? like she can snort creme puffs like cocaine but GOD FORBID i put my elbows on the table and call damian “a poisonous little bitch” because he ate my croutons

the standards in this family are unbelievable

So everyone is just talking and Mrs. Trenton is sipping champagne now and Luis Alvarez is doing that thing where he starts trying to eat caviar one teeny tiny egg at a time and KC is just like WHUMPH for the thirtieth time

finally dad takes pity on him and crouches down and is like “hey how you doing slugger” which???? Offended me. Very Much.

that’s MY nickname

has Waylon No-Nipples Jones been adopted by Bruce Wayne??? has Waylon No-Nipples Jones retrieved HIS sorry ass from time?? i don’t fucking think so

the audacity of this man

but before Killer Croc can reply

Red Hood

BURSTS INTO THE ROOM

guns out, voice modulator kind of fuzzy like a broke refrigerator that makes an “eeeeeeeeeee” sound ever since i tripped over it and fell on it

which wASN’T MY FAULT

IM NOT “deformed baby zebra clumsy” FUCK YOU JASON

MAYBE HE SHOULDN’T KEEP HIS EXPENSIVE HELMET ON THE FLOOR THEN

you know what? I’m GLAD i tripped over it.

yeah. suck it.

im glad you sound like a 90s japanese transistor radio

off brand too

fuck you

I GOT A BRUISE NOT THAT ANYONE CARES

even Bruce was like “hey tim you need to watch where you’re going”

???

how about YOU watch where YOU’RE GOING

“where” as in TIME TRAVEL

REMEMBER THAT BRUCE

REMEMBER THAT?!???????

HUH BIG GUY?!???????!!???

no one is allowed to criticize me from now on

i am Above Reproach

anyways yeah Red Hood appears at the party and shoots KC and Bruce was like “why the FUCK would you SHOOT HIM” as if he has some misplaced paternal feeling for Waylon No-Nipples Jones because he called him slugger which is something he calls one of his other kids but whatever im not bitter im just insecure and sad all the time but don’t worry about it maybe i’ll die one day and you’ll all be sorry especially about Certain Things like not sharing cheese nibs huh Cassandra

so RH and Bruce Wayne kind of argue. like. literally sniping at each other bc SOMEBODY forgot that Red Hood is a criminal and not their misplaced son and RH is like “it’s!!!!! a tranquilizer!!!!! ya big hoe!!!!!” only he doesn’t really say it like that but everyone isn’t even listening at this point because this party has already been so goddamn weird and we’re all suffering from secondhand embarrassment

i am Assuming,,,,,that Killer Croc Jones “Jonsie No-Nipples” has been taken away to be put into jail and studied for his non-nipple properties but at this point i’ve been sitting here huffing that cold medicine or whatever Bruce gave me. which

oh yeah i was crushed earlier

it was by “slugger” but whatever

yeah his body broke mine

it was because Bruce and Jason were fighting again and not paying attention so

KC was tranquillized and like

fell on me

he drooled on me too

those ballroom floors really hurt

like my head feels like mush

Alfred’s oatmeal

on its second day

because i refused to eat it on the first day

that man has a spine of Steel and he Does Not Let You Waste Food

btw he fell on me because i pushed Luis Alvarez out of the way

he was really transfixed by those tiny fish eggs

it’s fun to put them on your tongue and let them like slide around

so i pushed him out of the way and was promptly crushed to death

B said something about a broken collarbone

i am more worried about a broken butt

fuck

my coccyx

PROFESSOR PYM wait no shit that’s a comic book character

anyways my butt is broken and im hungry and dad wouldn’t let me get out of the chair so i write up this report because I am A Real Life Detective and I do my JOB

once again im the best

hey red jood can you get me some cheese nibs cassandrA won’t share which is p mean especially since i was all for being eaten to give her those crab cakes red hoof red why isn’t he responding to me i want xheese nibs red hanz red red Red Hood please I require sustenance red fhau red gjji red hhood ted joood redb hood red red edds red red edd dedd red red red red red wd red what the fuck what a right bastard sometimes oh hi Badaman

EDIT: His name is “Pyg.” Fucking. Pyg. Points taken off for unoriginality.

decided to have a tumblr version too ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

#take this and put it on my grave #in remembrance of me

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dancing-the-hellfire-rumba · 5 years

Text

Dear Hannah,

Pairing: technically Destiel, but that’s not what this is about Word Count: 4.9k (wow wtf) Warnings: mentions of self-harm, cancer, shitty father John (as per usual), angst and angst and father-daughter love and angst. Summary: When Dean, strapped to a bed, coughing up a storm, catches sight of his newly-adopted baby girl, he decides that, if he is to leave this world, he has to leave something behind for his favorite person. So he writes a booklet, trying to tell her all the things he would’ve if he was alive. Author’s note: This was originally done for @welldonebeca ‘s 2019 Song Challenge but I fucked up thinking the deadline was the 31st of October instead of the 15th. Whatever the case, my prompt was movement, by Hozier, which I interpreted as Dean being fascinated by his daughter enough that he’s inspired to write a letter book to her. Of course this wouldn’t be the entire thing, but I had to keep it under wraps.

Feedback is always welcome! No beta, all mistakes are my own.

~~~~

Hannah,

Christ, it’s the third time I’m starting this. The truth is, I’m coming up with blanks as to how to actually start. This has got to be the best I’ve got.

I’ll tell you the moral of this story, my story, from the get-go. Life’s a fucking bitch, okay? I want you to know that from now. I’d try to hold back on my swearing, but I want you to know me as the person I am, the person I’ve always been. I know what having an absent, terrible father’s like, as you’ll soon see, and I don’t want that for you. I wish I could tell you all this up close, give you advice, tell you all my crazy-ass stories as the dumbass of the teenager I was, and all the shenanigans your uncle (wow, Sam really is a friggin’ uncle!), by a campfire, while you drink your first beer.

Sadly, my odds aren’t looking so great, honey. So this is all I got. I know it’ll never be enough but something is better than nothing.

Enough with the chick flick introduction, though. Let’s start.

The pen’s heavy in his hand, and it’s equal parts the mental heaviness, the weight of the task, as it is his fatigue. Dean’s really just started this. He can’t believe it. The heaviness of uncertainty, of whether or not he’ll get enough time to finish it settles on his chest like an anvil. There’s a solid chance he doesn’t make it before his time comes.

Hannah’s sitting right there, carelessly looking at the plastic, grinning stars above her crib. She’s so innocent, skin creamy, chocolaty and bright, a young, fearsome woman that’s gonna turn out to be so incredible, he’s certain. A small baby who’s soon to walk.

Dean already knows, this kid is destined for great things.

She’s gonna grow up, past the tutus and the miniature racing-car collections, she’s gonna have a movie she’ll play on repeat for ever and ever, with a song that he’ll learn by heart after having heard it so many times. She’s gonna go to high school and she’ll be bullied but she’ll learn to kick some serious ass. She’ll develop interests, she’ll have mediocre grades but a fiery passion and a love for anything alive.

She’ll, then, go to college. She’ll fall in love, with people and life itself. She’ll do what she loves most and she’ll be so damn good at it, she’ll excel.

And Dean… Dean will be nowhere near her to see all of it.

The bitterness… it makes his eyebrows stitch together, his lip curl in clear frustration and sadness. After everything he’s been through, finally finding the person he loves most and creating a full-ass apple pie life, and it’s all gonna be gone as soon as it started. Because, as he told his favorite Hannah, life’s a fucking bitch, and there’s no denying it.

As he lays there in his bed, pale as a sheet, watching her giggle for a while, reaching for the stars, soon yawning, small eyelids shutting softly and rocking just slightly, he… he falls in love with her. This tiny, tiny happy-beyond-words creature that could ask anything of him, and he’d do it, god damn it. He really would.

A giant bubble grows in his chest, a bubble that makes him feel like he’ll protect her at absolute all costs. He’ll grab the moon and fucking move it if that’s what she needs. And all she has to do is yawn and fall asleep.

A tear appears in the corner of his eye, lingering and falling down his ashy cheek. He can’t believe he brought this bright ray of sunshine to this world, and he’s about to make her live with an absent father. That he won’t get any memories with her at all. It’s torture. All of it.

He doesn’t know what else to do, so he grabs his pen with more determination. If he’s to leave her with something, it’ll be a part of him and that is that.

~~~~~

I was born on January 24th, 1979, the first son of a, dare I say, colossally unlucky family. Your uncle, Sam, my brother, is four years younger and will ALWAYS be a wimp, don’t let the height fool you. He always had terrible, shaggy hair and was always the sharpest tool in the box. Hell, the boy went to freaking LAW SCHOOL of all places! That’s kinda crazy!

My parents, your grandparents, were Mary and John.

Mary was a sweet, incredible, fearsome blonde woman, kindest of them all. She’d cut the crusts off my toast, sing Hey, Jude to me before bed and tell me angels were watching over me. (While we’re on the topic of the Beatles, make a note to listen to them. “Hey, Jude” must be your first song, but beyond the classics [Let it Be, Hard Day’s Night, I Saw Her Standing There, I Wanna Hold your hand etc] I hope “Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds” will hold a special spot in your heart, much like me.)

So, Mary. Sweet Mary. She was a real badass, you know. This one time, Sammy was hungry, so I decided to make, get this, French fries. I think I was seven. She caught me getting ready to pour oil in a very hot pan. When I say she swooped in, I mean it, quite literally. I think she saved me a hand that day.

Now, about John…You’ll have to forgive the mess that I’m about to make with this, but John was a fucking sorry excuse of a father, alright? He got piss-drunk every night after Mom died, and naturally, Sam and I were the punching bags, sometimes literally. The best nights were the ones he wasn’t home.

For years, the house was silent. Sam and I tried to keep everything clean, stock up on canned food, because at times we would only have ten bucks to hold us for over two weeks. I took him to school, fed him, made sure he studied –not that I really had to- and kept John of his hair. At sixteen I picked up a shift at Bobby Singer’s garage, a man that, at this point, deserves the Dad title significantly more than John.

Whenever Sammy was sick, it was my fault. Was anyone loud? Dean’s fault. House dirty? Dean’s fault. Did we wake him up? …Let’s just say we learned not to do that.

I tried to put myself before Sam, did anything I could to protect him. There were times when that wasn’t even enough.

I dropped out of high school at seventeen. The second I saved up enough money, I rented a hole of an apartment at the other side of town, in an attempt to help Sam have a normal life, and we hauled ass out of there.

Before I tell you about our shitty apartment, let me tell you about the highlights of my high school career. Starting off with me “unintentionally” kicking a ball at my least favorite teacher’s face (and hitting him) ((Don’t take your father’s example, kid, violence isn’t the answer.)) (Did feel pretty good at the time though), making out with Jenny in the Janitor’s closet and with Arthur at the locker rooms afterhours (I don’t know what age you’re reading this at, but I sure hope it’s over 16). Also, that one time I pulled a prank at my friend, Cole. I spray painted his entire locker. He didn’t like me very much, to be honest…

~~~~~

An important story I feel inclined to share with you, would be the fact that I was once a bully.

Kids are just mean, but also, I couldn’t understand that troubles at home, traumatic pasts and anger are not to be taken out on other people who are not at fault. Instead of finding a healthy way to deal with everything that was happening at home, I decided that every happy person that was weak enough to meddle with, didn’t deserve any happiness.

I picked on a couple of people, but I think the one I will always regret will be Kevin Tran.

Kevin was a freshman when I was in junior year. He was in the Math club, the Science club and the Robotics club. He had maybe two friends, he was skinny, short, shy as hell, he drowned himself in oversized clothes and always carried a neon green book bag around, that worked on me like red cloth to a bull.

Every time I spotted the bag in the hallway, the drill would start. Shoving the poor kid against the locker, calling him names and laughing at his face for no apparent reason. I’d steal his calculators when I found out he had chemistry tests, spray paint the door of his locker and cause rib bruises from my shoving him against walls and furniture.

I soon find out Kevin was severely depressed. In fact, I saw him in the back of the school, where I’d usually go out to smoke because I thought it was cool (it’s not, it makes you light headed, unfocused and struggle to breathe. Just an all-around terrible experience, but this is just a side-note.)

It was a Friday after school. I didn’t wanna go straight home and Sam still had one more period, so I decided to go smoke and listen to some music in the back of the school building. And that’s where I found him.

I don’t know into how much detail I should go here, but Kevin was harming himself. With a small pocket knife, he sat on an old basket and made incisions on his arms, tears running down his face like a faucet. My God, Hannah, I’ve never felt like a bigger piece of shit in my life, because I knew, and I knew very well, that at least part of those incisions were caused by me.

I called out to him, and the look on his face, as he scrambled away from me, made me feel so much worse. I was the scum of the earth at that moment. I was the biggest asshole on the planet.

My initial reaction, I’ll admit, was pretty harsh. I grabbed the pocket knife out of his hands and threw it as far as possible in the grass. I grabbed a small first aid kit I had in my bag (in case anything happens to Sam), made him sit down by force and bandaged him up. He’d been reduced to sniffles by the time I was done.

Somewhere in between, I remember, he asked me why I was doing this. I didn’t answer.

Eventually, when I was done, I sat on the ground in front of him, ripping blades of grass from the ground. I apologized. Something along the lines of “I didn’t know, not that that’s an excuse. What I’m going through is not an excuse, but I hope it makes you understand that it was nothing to do with you. I’ll stop. I’m sorry. Don’t do this to yourself, man.”

That evening, Kevin was one of the very first people who found out about John. His own dad had passed away, and things at home were rough with his mom. That, along with the whole depression thing… it wasn’t a good combo.

After a solid two hours of talking with him, making amends, apologizing profusely and getting my apology accepted (which I absolutely didn’t deserve by the way,) we made it back out front.

From then on, I stopped picking on anyone. Kevin and I actually became really good friends, though we drifted apart eventually. I think he works in Google now.

This is really important. I want you to pay attention and take heed of my words. There are a couple lessons in this story.

One, be kind. Always be kind. To everyone. It doesn’t matter if they’re going through a rough time or not, the same way it didn’t matter that Kevin’s father was dead. You don’t know the other person. There’s never a reason to not be kind, if the person has done nothing to you. A smile can make somebody’s day, a compliment can go a long way, and being open and honest and kind will make people who are looking for help find you, it will make other’s lives better, and if you’ve helped even a single person, your life has been successful.

Two, never, and I mean never take your emotional pain out on yourself, or others. There are healthy ways to deal with ugly emotions. There are people who can help. Find a new hobby, as silly as it sounds. Start doing something creative, something that draws your attention elsewhere, like art of any kind, or, in my case, fixing cars. Something to keep you busy. If you’re in trouble, emotional or otherwise, there are people who love and support you, who will do their mightiest to be by your side, and if those aren’t your friends, they’re definitely your family.

Bottling up emotions, or dealing with them in horrible, unhealthy ways has been my go-to. Don’t be like me. Express yourself in different ways, and don’t keep your feelings shoved under the carpet, because it will, absolutely, unceremoniously explode, and you’ll take people down with you. And that’s when you’ll feel like the worst person in the world. The guilt, the residue of said ugly feelings isn’t worth it. Trust me.

If you make mistakes, if you hurt people who don’t deserve it, learn from it, grow, be better. Do not sink into yourself , don’t hate yourself. Apologize, make amends and move on, try to never do the same thing. It’s okay. We’re all human. The only thing that matters is that you try to be better.

No matter what, remember that I will always love you.

~~~~

So. Our apartment back in Kansas was, as I told you, a real dump. It had a tiny-ass kitchen with a miniature stove, two mattresses that were creaky and lumpy and were left there by the previous owners, as well as the TINIEST bathroom you’ve ever seen. It didn’t have shower walls, it had a shower head and a drain on the floor and was not in any way separated from the toilet. The walls of the place were peeling, the floor was tiled and cracked in a bunch of places and the humidity must’ve been over 80%.

I fucking loved that place.

On our third day there, I borrowed some spray paints from Cole, carried them in a cardboard box up the claustrophobic, green stairs, and opened the door in absolute triumph. That day, Sam and I opened the two windows, scratched the paint off the walls with two spatulas and went WILD. It must’ve been the only day Sam didn’t study.

Actually, no, now that I think about it, there was another time, when little ol’ ten-year-old Sam fell off a ledge and freakin’ broke his arm. I dumped him on Cole’s bike and pedaled to the hospital like a maniac. That was the first day he didn’t study.

Anyways, that apartment wall made our crappy little living situation a home. Our own sanctuary. We finally got agency over our lives, from staying up late, to choosing which type of dish soap we’d use because it smelled better and didn’t remind us of the terror chores once were. Eventually, we got soft blankets, books, board games, decorations… Finally, after 18 years, we’d started our lives.

I think one of my favorite memories would be coming home from my first date with a guy. I was just 18 and Benny, the dude, kissed me before I left, his fists clutching at my flannel. I was driving home with a giant, dopey-ass smile, stretching from one ear straight to the other. That same night, with new-found confidence, I told Sammy to drop his book, bought ourselves some beers and snacks, and drove to my favorite clearing.

There, right under the stars, with Sammy trying out his first beer, I told him I’m bisexual, and the cute bastard hugged me and told me he loved me no matter what. That same night, he thanked me for everything I did for him while living with John. We talked until the sun was rising.

I’ll tell you this right now, kid, in case you haven’t gotten it yet. I love Sam. Love him to bits. I raised that kid all on my own and will do anything to protect him. I know he cares for me, I know it kills him to see me like this, in a bed, pale, miserable and coughing every three seconds. I just want you to know, honey, that whatever you need, anything at all that, for some reason, you don’t want to tell Dad, you go to Sam, okay? You can trust him to be supportive, loyal, to be there for you when no one else is and to love you like you’re his own daughter and best friend. I promise you, he will always, always be there when I’m not.

That night made us grow so much closer. The lesson here, I’d say, is be bold and confident in what you believe in and who you are. Be your own, unique self, be brave, and love whoever you choose to fully and with your whole heart, without shame, ever. If you are yourself, I promise, you’ll find the people that love you for you, not the person you’re pretending to be. You’ll inspire other to be themselves.

A good example of this would be my best friend, Charlie. When I came out, I was armed to the teeth to deal with whoever wanted to bully me for that part of me. To tell you the truth, my school coming out was a mishap. It takes nothing but a risky make-out session in the janitor’s closet and nosey students that rip doors open far too violently. Nevertheless, I was literally out of the closet, fists up. And that’s exactly when I met Charlie.

With her comic book stories and her books, her bubbly personality and bright smile, she wiggled her way into our lives and permanently stayed there. She was a freshman when I was a senior, but she seemed to find sanctuary by my side, as I did by hers. She was just one of those people who clicked, you know? Far too mature and interesting for her age, with an obsession with computers, even back when they were barely even a thing.

She now lives with her long-term girlfriend, Gilda, who owns the best bakery in the state. Ask for the apple pie, you will not be disappointed.

Charlie demanded of me to tell you, first off, to watch Marvel and screw DC right to hell (with which I have to agree, though Batman still remains one of the coolest Superheroes of my childhood (and Joker, the coolest villain)). She also told me that, if you read this, go ask her for her comics, She’d love to let you borrow them and she’s certain you’ll love them. Second off, she asked of me to tell you the Impala story…

It’s not as grand as she makes it out to be, honestly. However this is the part where you’ll learn all about the one and only Bobby Singer.

Bobby was my boss, an old friend of dad’s John’s and the first person who ever saw the bruises under my sleeves. He gave me a job, a family, and later on… a car.

Bobby owns a scrapyard. He taught me everything I know about cars, including driving, and for my seventeenth birthday, he brought a dusty, beat-up car in my workspace. The hood was bent, the seats were torn, and the engine needed immediate replacing. The customer never paid the price for the compartments the garage had paid, so under store policy, the car was ours.

Hannah, I can’t exactly describe to you how long it took me to repair that car. Buying the spare parts and assembling them would’ve probably taken less time. I built her from the ground up, it took me almost a month and a half of daily, eight-to-six work, but I made it. I fixed her up. She was in prime condition, and I had completely fallen in love with her.

I finished working on her early January, dreading the moment I would see her drive away. Bobby had seen all the effort, by then I’d worked at his place for over a year. So, on the day of my birthday, I opened my locker to put on my jumpsuit, when I saw a box placed on my neatly folded clothes. I’m sure you’ve guessed it by now. Yes. It was the keys to my dream car. A beautiful, sleek, black 1967 Chevrolet Impala, the one I had brought back to life. And it was all mine.

I don’t think I’ve hugged Bobby any tighter since then. Hell, I don’t think I’ve hugged him period.

That car… That car is probably the most stable thing in my life, apart from Sam, obviously. I’ve cried in that car, I’ve escaped from my terrible past, I’ve laughed, I’ve had my first time, I’ve been through breakups and I’ve spent my best days with it. I cherish it more than any other item I know. It’s not even an item, it’s my baby. I love it almost as much as I love you.

I met your dad, and kissed him for the first time in that car.

It’s actually a pretty fucking hilarious story. Cas was on a date with this guy who was completely disgusting and creepy as hell, so in true movie fashion he decided to, get this, jump out the bathroom window and escape.

Yeah.

So just as he was running out of the bar, the guy must’ve caught wind of him or something, because he stepped outside in order to find Cas. What did your dad decide to do, I hear you ask? He ducked behind a car in the parking lot, opened the first unlocked door he found, and jumped in.

Spoiler alert. It was my car.

I was sitting in the front seat, fighting with Sam through text when the door opened. It was highly comical, watching this guy duck behind the bench seat, mumbling “oh God, oh God, oh God, please don’t see me, oh God.” I cleared my throat.

“Oh, I see you, buddy.” That’s the first thing I told him. The look on his face and the genuine yelp, made me laugh a full belly laugh, and completely forget about my fight with Sam. He apologized profusely, explained panicked what had happened and begged me to stay in my car just for a couple minutes so the guy can lose him.

Long story short, we ended up going out ourselves. I don’t know how to explain it… we just clicked immediately. Like, there was a connection. Him and his big words, his baby blue eyes, his steady, deep and rough voice… I knew right away that all I wanted was to spend time with him, learn everything he was willing to share with me.

I’m so glad to have met your Dad. He was, is and always will be one of the best, kindest, most humble and genuine people on the planet. He sees the world from such a beautiful point of view that contradicts my eternal realism (he enjoys calling me pessimistic.) He’s a genuinely great person, and I can’t wait for you to figure so out yourself, if you haven’t already.

Of course, it wasn’t all fine and dandy. Meeting his parents was hellish. Let’s just say, Chuck and Naomi aren’t… the best people. They tried really, really hard to stop us from seeing each other, and eventually, they completely disowned Cas. He doesn’t like to talk about them much. His brother, Gabriel is an asshole, but a loveable one, while his other brother, Michael, you probably don’t know about. And you shouldn’t. Let’s just leave it at that. If Cas wants to share that story with you, he’ll do it at his own time.

I’m sure there’s a lesson to be learned here. Something about, when finding your person, to keep them, fight for them, don’t stop loving them because everyone else is telling you (unless of course that person is toxic). But I don’t think I can give you solid love advice through a dumb book. Every relationship is different, and your Dad’s better at this than me anyways.

I don’t know exactly how long this thing is, by this point, but I’ve almost finished the pages of this booklet. I was really, really worried I wouldn’t finish it in time, but here we are. However many thousand words later, and I’m clueless as to how to wrap this up.

My life isn’t over yet, however it looks like it soon will be. I will confess to you, I’m scared, but most of all I’m angry. I’m angry at the world, at life and fate, if that’s even a thing, at God even. I’ve fought my whole life for peace and quiet, and right when I have found it, it’s being ripped from under my feet. Cancer fucking sucks.

No matter, my chin is up, and so are my fists. Winchesters don’t give up easy. I will fight this until my last breath, even if the chance of watching you grow up and being able to tell you everything I’ve written face-to-face, is nothing but a sliver. After all, impossible odds were always my favorite.

Sweetheart… I don’t know what to say. This might be the only thing you have left of me for the rest of your life, and it tears me up inside. Of course, I will not be able to write thirty five years of experience in a small book such as this, but this is a part of me, memories you can keep all to yourself. Ask Dad or Sam about any of it, I’m sure they’ll fill some gaps, tell you things I haven’t written.

I don’t want you to cry much, even though I’m not sure you will at all, given the fact that you’ve never met me. Either way, whether you feel or think anything of me or not, I want you to know that I love you so much. I’ve only known you for a couple of months, and, already, you’re the brightest ray of sunshine in my life.

I promise I will be by your side no matter what happens, through every milestone and hardship, I will love you from wherever I am.

Honey, please stay true to yourself. Never give up, no matter what curveballs life throws at you. There’s always reason to keep going, even if you can’t see it. Always keep fighting, ‘till your last breath, ‘cause you’re a Winchester and you’ve absolutely got this.

If there is something I want you to remember from the scribbly mess I’ve made, it’s this:

I love you. I’m proud of you. I believe in you.

Go get ‘em, tiger.

Bonus:

Tears streaming down velvety soft cheeks, dainty fingers gripping the book tightly, like her life depends on it, Hannah stares at the ceiling and groans at the mess she is. It’s the second time she read that last bit, and just as she thought she’d gotten over it, here she is, crying just as hard as the first.

She gets off her bed, pulling on her sweater sleeves. Feet in slippers, she makes her way down the corridor, knocking on the door, and opening when she gets an answer. Her fingers grip the doorknob, the other clutching the book, and she stares at the bed, watching as green eyes look up from his laptop.

“Why did you give this to me, you ass, you’re not dead,” she sobs, and Dean pushes his laptop to the side, arms opening wide to invite her in them.

“Aw honey,” he coos, a gentle, loving smile on his face. Hannah climbs on the bed and slides to his side, curling up in his arms. “It’s okay.” Fingers stroking her hair gently, as sobs wrack through the poor girl’s body. Dean almost feels bad.

Just then, Cas appears in the doorway, having heard Hannah’s cries. He sees the booklet clutched in her arms, her face buried in Dean’s neck, hidden behind her spring-curly hair. He makes eye contact with his husband, a knowing half-smile on his lips, as he leans on the doorway.

“I love you,” Hannah says, nose stuffed and running. “Thank you for not giving up on a relationship with me, even when you didn’t think you’ll survive.” Tears wet Dean’s eyes, as he presses a kiss on the crown of her head.

“I love you too.”

#dean fluff #dean angst #destiel #daddy!dean #destiel dads #supernatural au #spn fanfiction #supernatural #spn angst #spn fluff #oc

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screechingjellyfishnight · 4 years

Text

Working at W**dy’s

And all it entails

So I work at W**dy’s as a cashier. Let me tell you what I enjoy: I enjoy the repetition, the customers (usually), the menial tasks that I have to do 4-6 times a day, and the pay of course. I make $9.25 an hour.

What do I hate? The ice machine and the lemonade. So we have fresh lemonade made in house, and if you’re in Manassas VA on Sudley, it’s probably me making your lemonade on the weekends. It’s not too hard, you take this 10 Liter bucket, pour in the lemonade base (which is about a liter) and then fill it the rest of the way with water from a special sink. But transporting this is difficult because I’m 5’1 and the floors are ALWAYS wet in the back. Why I hate the ice machine: giant bucket. I have to fill a giant bucket two or three times to fully fill the ice cooler in the front of the restaurant. So that’s what I do. 2-3 times a day. That bucket is easily over 50 pounds and I have back issues. It’s not too bad because I work 5 hours a day. I also hate the flooring. Wendy’s flooring is actually designed to make it hard to stand still for hours so you’re always looking to do something or find somewhere to sit. The tiles have circles on them, two to a tile, that make your feet cramp. And it’s intentional. They intentionally do this. Like I wish there could be a lawsuit over this because it’s actually damaging to your feet. At the end of my first week I had to sit with my feet in a hot foot bath for 3 HOURS before they finally stopped hurting. I couldn’t walk right FOR DAYS. Now I’m more used to it and don’t have this problem as much, but the fact that even happened in the first place speaks volumes. Also I don’t think the government should be able to tax minimum wage jobs or jobs under $25 an hour. Just saying. You already make so little. Oh and there’s no one to help the front cashier so if it’s taking forever blame the people in the back who aren’t there. Because we have enough people for drive thru, sandwiches, bacon, and upfront. Working upfront sometimes also means making the fries and nuggets (which I’m not supposed to do because standing over the fryer makes my asthma act up even with a mask), restocking EVERYTHING. Drive thru will NOT restock the stuff they use up and they purposely use the fronts stuff despite having the same at the window. The only things they should be coming up front for is coffee products and natural lemonade. I have to restock the ice, cups, lemonade, and flavor syrups that they use. Also only morning shift stocks. Night shift refuses. We don’t take turns doing anything when we should. My sister works with me and she has this HORRIBLE tendency to leave me doing things when we have LOTS of people lined up. Cashier cannot bag food, make drinks, and take orders all at once. I literally can’t. I would need 10 arms. Our manager had to YELL at her to get her to move her ASS and help instead of just standing there doing nothing. Also what is with mobile orders? Dear god, dude, wait your damn turn bc I can’t take your order before everyone else’s. You are not more special because it’s on a phone. I had TWO mobile orders doing that shit today. Neither stood in line and one of them crowded the pickup counter and had to be escorted out because he was yelling obscenities. If you aren’t in line I’m not serving you. I’m a person too. If you see me doing something, wait. It’s not hard to be patient. Then he goes “oh I’m already 20 minutes late!!!” That’s not my fault. I will lose my job if I start picking and choosing who to help when. I did have a few gems today. I really like the PT patients who come by because even though they’re tired they’re usually really happy to eat. I offered one lady a free water (she just had a sandwich) and she said “That would be lovely you’re so sweet” and another guy asked my name so he could give me a good review online (which is good for me bc then my manager is inclined to keep me).

#rant post #rant about work #love and hate #lol #w**dys #censoring so I don’t get fired lol

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wheremytwinwatches · 4 years

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[Where My Twin Watches]: Full Metal Alchemist Brotherhood Episode 5

Well. Last episode was a thing. I’d gathered that there were some dark parts about this show, what with Mr. Freeze killing off military police by literally boiling them, and then Lust stabbing Cornello. But I wasn’t expecting something as dark as Shou’s actions. It’s interesting, Tephi mentioned that we seem to be getting themes in our shows. She gets “this is so weird!” with man-eating giants, macho drill power, fan service, ect. I get “look how fun NOPE HORROR AND HEARTBREAK”. Wonder if that’s going to continue. Actually, since the last post-credits said they boys would encounter Scar, I’m not that optimistic.

Narrator’s recapping Ed and Al’s failed study group, how Ed’s grief-stricken at his powerlessness. Episode 05: “Rain of Sorrows” House in a field? Wait. Ah, captions are saying it’s Ed (Age 5), calling to Mama Elric. Flashback? Aw, Baby!Ed transmuted a little horse statue for his mother. That’s cute- NOPE NOT CUTE NOT CUTE SWEET LETO MAMA ELRIC JUST TURNED INTO CHIMERA Aw hell no, this is a nightmare isn’t it? Ed’s seeing his failure to bring his mother back, Nina and Alexander melding- And he wakes up. Leto, but that was disturbing. Why do I keep watching this show at night again? Al asks if Ed’s alright, waking up from a dream like that. Right, since Al’s in the armor I guess he doesn’t sleep, so he doesn’t have much to do while Ed’s out for the count except read. Cut to Central (or is this East Command?), Ed hesitates to knock at a door until Riza opens it, surprised to see the Elric Brothers so early. They’ve stopped in to ask what’s going to happen to Tucker and Nina. Riza reports that Tucker was supposed to be decertified and stand trial… but both he and Nina are dead. The Elrics are shocked to hear that they’ve both been murdered. Riza says they don’t know who did it (hmmm, maybe this “Alchemist” was killed by that guy who you know’s been going around killing a bunch of alchemists, hmmm?), so she’s heading to the scene of the crime. And she tells the brothers to not go, because they don’t need to see it. At the house, Armstrong and Hughes are once again unfortunately serious as they examine the scene, Hughes complaining that he’s always one step ahead of them. Colonel Roy appears, asks why it sounds like they were expecting this. Did he not know about Scar? Wait, what? Cornello? Didn’t you get Extreme Acupuncture? What are you doing, preaching to the people of Liore who should really know better by now? Oh dear, “Cornello” is preaching to his wide-eyed followers to rise up and attack the people who can rearrange matter at will with farm tools. That’s gonna work out grrrrreat. Hey, good for you, [Man C], pointing out the crazy-talk! But unfortunately the others shout him down. Oh, Lust! So it’s a Corrupt Priest Hologram? However the trick’s being done, it’s turned Liore into a battleground, people beating the crud out of each other as a little girl cries off to the side, in case we didn’t realize that this was Bad. Lust and Gluttony are watching the chaos from on high, as Fake-Cornello walks up and says he’s got his own responsibilities to get back to. More talk about how humans are simple-minded, violent creatures, then Lust asks for ‘Envy’ to lose the costume. And hey, it’s the third Goth from the into sequence! Glad to finally have a name for the guy. Whoops, the Assistant Pastor saw the transformation, and unfortunately reacted loudly rather than run away. Envy takes offense to being called a ‘monster’, and then Gluttony has a snack. While there’s some unpleasant chewing going on, Envy mentions that Tucker is dead. And that they should care because it was “him” that was responsible for the murder. Lust does not seem to like Scar, bad history? And the Flame Colonel and Fullmetal Alchemist are there too? Seems all their enemies are gathering in one- Wait, what? “As furious as I am that he interfered with our work here, we can’t very well let him die.” Whoa whoa whoa, what’s the story here? The Goths are actually working to protect Ed? Why? Why would these people who just gleefully drove a town to riot be protecting our protagonist? Ok, that line just opened up a plethora of possibilities, I’ve got dozens of half-baked theories to try and sort out now. Do they work for someone who would not approve of Ed being harmed, Monkey D. Dragon style? Are they scouting him out as a potential recruit, ala Slaughterhouse Nine? Do they want to get their hands on Al’s collected recipes? Why do these Goths want Ed unharmed? ...oh. OH. Ok, hit pause too soon, another line just threw out my old theories and replaced them with new ones. “He’s an important sacrifice.” So it’s not that they want him unharmed, it’s that they need him to die at a future time. Why? What do they gain out of killing Ed? While my poor head is spinning, Gluttony finishes his meal as Lust and Envy work on their plans, starting with the man they’re discussing back at Command: Scar. The State Alchemists don’t really know anything else beyond the name, which they’re just using because of his picture. Literally, the only information they have is he has a large scar on his forehead. Roy’s heard stories about the man, it seems. Hughes just complains that following this order from the military police means his other work is piling up. Scar’s killed five State Alchemists in Central, with a nationwide count up to ten. And a few days ago he took down Grand, the- Brigadier General? Wow, didn’t realize the guy had such a high rank. And if Scar took down such a powerful Alchemist that easily, disregarding how cocky Grand was acting? Probably best for our characters to increase their escorts and lie low. After all, with Roy and Tucker as the only State Alchemists of note around… Roy has the same reaction that I have: “Oh no!” Out in the rain (man, this storm is going on for ages), Ed and Al are sitting at a statue, Ed repeating something: “Alchemy is the science of understanding the flow of matter and its laws… the process of comprehension, deconstruction, and reconstruction. The world flows, too. It must also follow laws. Everything circulates… even Death is a part of that circulation. You must accept the flow.” A lesson drummed into their head by Teacher. Right, we saw a scene of her teaching the brothers in Ep 2, didn’t we? Ed says he thought he understood it, but now says he didn’t. First his mom, now Nina? And heading out into the rain hoping it would “wash away some of the gloom”, but it’s not working. Al then doubles down on the depression, talking about how he can’t even feel the raindrops. Would somebody please give these poor boys a hug? Gah! Not you! Scar’s here! “You, boy, you’re the Fullmetal Alchemist Edward Elric, correct?” NO. NO HE’S NOT! Well that was abrupt! Without another word Scar goes for the kill, it’s only Al grabbing his big brother out of the way that saves his life. Ed snaps back, Transmutes a quick stone cage around the attacker. But Scar easily blasts his way out, and the Elrics make a break for it. Or they try to, but Scar’s easily keeping up, shattering stairs and pillars as they flee. “Damn it, what the hell is this guy’s problem?! Making enemies isn’t something that I- Well… I never really avoided it. But there’s no reason someone should be trying to kill me!” First off, humor! Glad to see it back in the show! Second, yeah! What’s your problem, Scar? They race into an alleyway, but Scar calls up a wall to block them off. Ed demands to know who their attacker is. “As long as there are ‘creators’ like you in the world, there must also be destroyers.” That explains nothing, dude. Ed and Al get ready to fight, but Scar only smiles as they charge. Please get past him, please get past hi- AL! NO! Scar just dodged them both, then blew a Leto-damned hole in Al’s armor! Go away, commercial-break cards! Not now! Scar’s distracted for a moment at nobody being inside the armor, but still easily counters Ed’s attack and zaps him. But thank goodness he grabbed his arm like every other baddie. Although now he knows the weakness. *gulp* Y’know, as terrified as I am for the brothers right now, I have to respect Scar’s analysis ability. He instantly figured out that Ed’s making a Transmutation Circle by pressing his hands together, so his first target is his “abhorrent right arm”. And SWEET LETO he does, instantly! Ed’s arm is, just, gone! Oh, this is bad. This is really bad. Al’s collapsed in the alley screaming for Ed to run away, Ed’s trying to move back in shock, but falls to the right without his arm, and now that Scar’s prevented Ed from using his “heretic’s alchemy” (and just what are you doing, you hypocrite?) he’s going in for the kill. Aw, but he offers Ed a moment to pray. That’s nice of him. Ed? Ed, what are you doing? Aw. Aw, no. Ed’s clarifying that he’s Scar’s target, not his brother. And trying to make Scar promise that he won’t hurt Al. Ed, no. Ed, run! Get up and run! RUN! Gunshot? Hot damn, the cavalry has arrived! Shoot that murderer! Or arrest him, whatever works. Just get him away from my poor Elrics. Oh, what the heck. Scar’s spouting about how Alchemists alter things from their natural form, profaning the true creator God, saying that he’s here to hand down God’s judgement. *Sigh* Buddy, really? You’re gonna go the “unnatural” route? Not to bring religion into it, but I couldn’t help but notice that you’re wearing sunglasses and clothes. You don’t exactly find those things growing on trees. So no, your “natural form is best form” isn’t gonna work with me. And yeah, tell the half-dozen people holding guns on you that you’ll eliminate them if they interfere with you killing a kid. That’s gonna go over grrrreat. Roy? Roy, what are you doing? Come on, buddy. You know the saying “The man who wins a fist-fight is the one who brings friends with guns”? Why are you ignoring that, handing your gun off to Riza and telling everyone to stay out of it? Aaand I just remembered that Roy’s Flame Gloves don’t work when wet, and it’s raining. What are you planning to do, taunt him? Well, whatever he’s planning, it distracts Scar, he steps away from Ed and charges at the higher target. Scar charges, Roy prepares his plan, Riza runs forward… five seconds later ...ok, let me process what just happened. Scar lunged forward for his insta-kill Face Grab, and what did Roy do? He snapped his fingers, and there was a pathetic *pop*. Yeah, what I just said about Roy having a plan? He didn’t, he actually tried to do his Flame Alchemy. In the rain. He really forgot that his gloves are worthless when wet. But thankfully, Riza seems to have the brains of the duo, and managed to knock Roy off his feet in the split second before Scar’s hand connected. I just… wow. Roy, you are an idiot, and you had best thank Riza for saving your life. I managed to pause at just the right time to capture the incident. Here’s a screenshot, I’d say the last two words best describe Roy’s actions.

Just… wow, dude. You were an idiot. Time resumes as Riza goes guns-akimbo at Scar, who dodges into the alley. The alley with Al still in there. Uh oh. And oh my Leto Roy, don’t you dare complain at the lady who just saved your life. “Useless on rainy days” indeed. Scar’s back to ranting at the people with guns. Someone shoot this guy already. NO WAIT, EVEN BETTER! “I’d like to see you try it!” The Mighty Armstrong has arrived! Punch… to the ground. Good try! Armstrong keeps up the boasting as some other Alchemists run by and gather up Ed. “We’ll see how you fare against the Strong Arm Alchemist, Alex Louis Armstrong!” [Adventure String Music] has started up, it is on! As Scar is not backing down, The Mighty Armstrong will give him a demonstration of the art of alchemy that has been passed down the Armstrong family for generations! Punch to the stone to make an arrowhead, that narrowly misses the murderer. ...uh hey, all you guys with guns? Scars looking away from you now, rightly distracted by The Mighty Armstrong. You wanna put a bullet in his leg, or something? No? Just gonna stand there and watch the show? Ok, whatever. Ed’s informed that this is the guy who murdered Tucker and Nina, and then the Alchemist yells at Armstrong for his property damage. Armstrong what. What are you doing? When did you take your shirt off before spouting about destroying to create? The other State Alchemists question his decision to strip, even as The Mighty Armstrong continues to manly-glint. The Mighty Armstrong notes that Scar understands the truth of that statement, and the onlookers catch on to Scar being an alchemist who stopped at the ‘destruction’ stage of ‘construction, destruction, and reconstruction’. And they call him out for his hypocrisy, while wondering why he’s targeting other alchemists. Meanwhile Scar and Armstrong continue to brawl, Scar thinking about how Armstrong’s unusually coordinated for his size. Oh, Scar’s cornered! Armstrong’s got him! Wait. Oh no. No no no. Scar’s doing his analysis thing again, he’s identified a moment when Armstrong's swing is too wide. Armstrong, get back before he grabs you! Hey, he did it, Armstrong jumped away! And… ah, finally! Riza proves she has the brains of the Alchemists as she starts shooting at Scar again. Did she get him? No, even with all that he was quick enough to only graze him. But at least you got his sunglasses. Wait, what’s with the surprise? Red eyes, brown skin? That means he’s an Ishvalan! Will we finally get some information about that backstory war? Nope, not this time it seems. Scar finally recognizes he’s outnumbered, and blasts a hole into the sewers to get away. Roy thanks Armstrong for buying them time to surround Scar, Armstrong remarks that it was all he could do to keep from getting killed. The perils of CQC against someone who can kill with a touch. Hughes, where were you in all this? What the heck, you were cowering? And what the heck are you doing, calling them a freak show pack of pseudo humans?! I thought you were cool, dude! Ed comes to it (again, he’s been dropping in and out of focus this entire episode hasn’t he?) and runs over to Al. The State Alchemists are looking on- Al, what the heck?! No need to punch Ed! I get that you’re upset that he didn’t run away, but he was trying to protect you! Gah, stop punching him! “Making the decision to die is something only an idiot does!” “Survival is the only way, Ed. Live on, learn more about alchemy. You could find a way to get our bodies back and help people like Nina… you can’t do that by dying! I won’t allow you to abandon the possibility of hope and choose a meaningless death!” Wow. That’s… “Oh, great! And now my arm’s come off because my brother’s a big, fat idiot!” Have I praised the writing of this show/manga lately? Because I should be doing that more often. That was pure gold, right there. Oh my Leto, did you just make a “falling apart” pun, Ed? Hughes gripes that he’s stumbled into an extra-special kind of freak show. Give it up Hughes, we know you love them. And the State Alchemists are agreeing to not pass on Al’s state. Daw, you guys are the best! Well, Scar’s made his escape. But now they know he’s Ishvalan, and the Elrics are still alive. Things are ok. Oh, information on the Ishvalans, finally! Roy’s saying that the Ishvalans were a race of people who lived to the east, believing their god Ishvala was the one, absolute creator. So that’s who Scar prays to, not Leto? Map of the area, give me a sec. Looks like our character’s country is a rough circle, split into five areas (north, south, east, west, central), country named Drachma (isn’t that an ancient Greek coin?) to the north-west, another named Creta (like the island?) to the south-west, and along the eastern border is a Desert Area. Ishval was annexed to the country, giving me another concern about the government our protagonists work for. Then, thirteen years ago… *picture of a small bloody hand by a teddy bear* A military officer accidentally shot and killed an Ishvalan child, sparking a civil war. Shot of military police shooting as an Ishvalan man armed with a knife yells, the map shows the conflict covering the entire eastern sector. That led to military high-command… ordering the extermination of Ishval. Wow. Ok, um. I gathered that the government was a bit overbearing, but… did Fuhrer Bradley really order a genocide? We’ve got a shot of State Alchemists marching, I recognize the late Grand in the center. And is that a younger Armstrong marching in front of him, sans mustache? He’s got that tiny sprig of blond hair and is built like a tank, so I’m assuming that’s him. Marching next to him is a much skinnier black-haired guy with two bangs in front of his face, smirking. Yyyep, I’mma say that I don’t trust anyone who smiles while committing genocide. Camera pans down to three more Alchemists, I recognize Roy and Mr. Freeze but have no clue who this dwarf with a mohawk is. Manga character? Now it’s shots of Alchemists using their powers, Grand throwing out chains and Mr. Smiles apparently blowing up a crowd of screaming Ishvalans. Charming. Roy also snaps his fingers at a village. “Needless to say, the State Alchemists produced striking results.” Roy recognizes that in a sense, as an Ishvalan survivor Scar’s revenge is justified. Ed disagrees, saying that Scar’s attacking people who had nothing to do with it. Regardless, Scar’s trying to kill our characters, so next time there won’t be any talk. And no forgetting how your powers work, either! Roy. So, what’s the plan for the Elrics? They’re gonna keep moving, and before they progress with fixing their bodies they have to get their busted parts back to normal. Time to visit the mechanic. Hey, Winry! Guess we’ll see you next episode, then! “In order to repair their injured bodies, Ed and Al set off for their former home in Resembool, where they are met by their mechanics Winry and Pinako. On the way there they happen across-” Hold everything! Is that Armstrong I see in these shots? It is! We get an episode of Armstrong traveling with the Elrics! Yes! “-they happen across a doctor with a troubled past who may have clues to offer in the brother’s search for the Philosopher’s Stone. Next time, on Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood-” Episode Six: “Road of Hope” “What would young Ed discover, and how many questions will still remain to be answered?” Hey, you showed a picture of the Elric family with the father’s face covered. Rude. Pretty sure it’s the blonde bearded guy in the intro, but half expecting a twist like Scar being their actual dad. Who knows given this show.

#where my twin watches #wmtw #ranubis #full metal alchemist #full metal alchemist brotherhood #fmab #fmab 5

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my-miraculous-headcanons · 5 years

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Drunk Headcanons

They’re not children in this don't worry.

Also idk if this is polyamory or whatever I just love these guys and they all love each other. All of this can be taken as either platonic or romantic, idc.

MARINETTE

• Marinette is a super giggly, truthful, and affectionate drunk. If you’re one of her friends, she’ll constantly be making grabby hands at you so she can give you face kisses and shower you in compliments. Adrien, Nino, and Alya have all been so touched before that they may have shed a couple of tears.

• One time when she was drunk, she didn’t recognise that it was Nino talking to her, so when he asked her what she thought about her friends, her filter somehow turned off even more.

• She started off talking about her sweet friend Nino, who has the softest eyes ever and they look like pools of honey and he’s honestly so gentle and such a good friend, where is he she wants to hug him

• Then she talks about Alya and how she loves her smile and her confidence and her style and everything about her, and Marinette feels so lucky to have her as a best friend god dammit where are her friends she’s really tempted to cuddle the fuck out of them right now

• And then she lands on Adrien and she sighs and settles down a little, resting her head in her arms as she talks about how beautiful Adrien’s laugh is, and how she wants to give him a reason to laugh like that every single day. If he was here, she says, she’d be giving him a bunch of face smooches right now.

• Nino, Alya, and Adrien are all openly ugly crying and totally tipsy and they just can’t handle how much they love their totally plastered friend right now dear god. Even if they weren’t tipsy they’re pretty sure tears would be shed.

• They have a sleepover at Marinette’s house that night and sleep in a giant cuddle pile because none of Marinette’s friends wanted to let go of her

• (They replicated that conversation from before while Alya got it on video because it’s honestly the sweetest thing and they all want to have that video as a daily reminder about how much Marinette absolutely adores them.)

ADRIEN

• Adrien’s the kind of drunk that you’ll never know is drunk until the very moment when he passes the fuck out whilst standing and ragdolls against the floor. Everyone has to keep an eye out for how many drinks he has.

• Honestly it baffles everyone. Adrien almost acts no different while drunk in comparison to how he is sober. The only real indication that he’s even slightly intoxicated is when he gets a little more emotional. It’s easy to figure out when he’s drunk when Marinette is drunk— all she needs to do is compliment him and then everyone will know from his teary-eyed reaction.

• Adrien once got so drunk at a fancy gala event with his father that he nearly lost consciousness while talking to a business investor. No one noticed at all.

• They never drink and drive but the four of them agreed that if they absolutely had to, they’d put Adrien behind the wheel. He could easily pretend to be sober if an officer pulled them over. Also, he might actually be able to drive the car without crashing, but they’re not gonna test that.

• Another indicator that Adrien is drunk is when he sort of naturally gravitates towards Marinette, because he knows that Marinette = praise and affection, and it’s harder to resist that when he’s drunk. Especially blackout drunk.

• Literally no one can tell if Adrien’s a lightweight or not it’s really iffy because sometimes those tiny indications that he’s drunk happen really early in the game and sometimes it happens a lot later for some reason.

• He’s not a lightweight he purposely fakes it early in the game because he likes to fuck with people.

ALYA

• Alya is an absolute mess when she’s drunk. She’s clingy, jealous, uncharacteristically quiet, and she’ll glare at anyone she doesn’t know yet still look like she can cry at any moment somehow. It’s like she’s a ticking time bomb but she’ll cry when she blows up.

• When she and Marinette are drunk together, they have to be separated. Marinette would just cuddle and compliment the shit out of Alya and Alya would just burst into happy tears and they’ll never be able to leave the fucking nightclub because they’re too busy clinging to each other on the ground in the middle of the dance floor.

• When she clings to Nino her glaring gets a million times more intensified like literally no one will ever approach them. Not if they valued their lives. Nino rolls with it and piggybacks Alya wherever she wants, which for some reason makes her cry in joy.

• Alya gets dehydrated really quickly so they’re always having to force water down her throat in between drinks. It doesn’t slow down her descent from sobriety at all.

• One time Alya saw some guy give Marinette a lap dance and Alya threw the guy off in a drunken rage and started doing the lap dance herself. She sucked at doing it but she’s out of it so points for trying.

• Sometimes she’ll get really close in front of Adrien’s face and squint at him, trying to figure out whether or not he’s drunk too, and Adrien always thinks that he did something wrong because Alya looks like she’s willing to murder him in these moments.

NINO

• Nino pretty much sheds all of his fears and insecurities when he’s drunk. He will do shit he would never otherwise do when sober. He will do shit that he’ll regret, and he knows he’ll regret, even while he’s getting ready to do the thing.

• One time Nino took over a fucking nightclub by kicking the DJ offstage and doing the remixes himself. No one knows how he managed to do that without getting himself thrown out and banned forever.

• Nino challenged Adrien to a shots competition even though he knew that he would never know when Adrien is drunk or not. He was hoping to last long enough until Adrien just fucking passes out or whatever. He didn’t.

• Nino literally ripped his pants off on the dance floor for no conceivable reason whatsoever. Like, ripped them off. They don’t know how he did that. The pants were unsalvageable.

• He picked Marinette and Alya up onto his shoulders and tried to escort them to whatever destination they wanted for the whole night. He does not have the strength to do that, and he knows it, but he did it anyways and woke up the next morning with noodles for arms. They were so sore.

• He claims to know how to do things that he most definitely does not know how to fucking do. He has no idea how to bake a chocolate lava cake. He doesn’t know how to shave with a fucking straight razor. (Adrien does, though, what the fuck.) He has no idea how to ride a damn horse. HE DOESN’T KNOW HOW TO WRESTLE A FUCKING CROCODILE, BUT OH LOOK THERE’S FANG, AND HE WANTS TO IMPRESS HIS FRIENDS SO—

MIXED

• No matter how drunk they all get, they always manage to stay together, and always leave together at the end of the night.

• Marinette makes everyone take a picture of themselves in the mirror and send it to her mother before they leave, just in case anything happens to them and they need to describe what clothing they were wearing to the police.

• Adrien normally has his bodyguard/driver drop them off and pick them up. Adrien’s old enough not to need the guy constantly following him everywhere, but the Gorilla still watches the entrances of the buildings, just in case.

• No one can ever tell if the four of them are dating, and if they are, if they’re all dating each other, or... if there’s a system or something... They confuse people at clubs and bars, because their interactions are just on the border of romantic but at the same time maybe they’re just affectionate??? Maybe they’re only friends, it’s not like they MADE OUT with each other, but also that girl is loving the other three pretty damn good and that isn’t something most friends do uhhh aLSO THAT GIRL IS GIVING THE OTHER GIRL A LAP DANCE AND THAT GUY IS CARRYING THE GIRLS NOW AND— WHAT??? IS GOING ON???

• Paparazzi follows Adrien around whenever he’s going out to get drunk but like... Since he never actually shows any outward signs of ever getting drunk, the articles and news stories usually end up being about his friends. None of them mind, really, except maybe Nino because he just does not like hearing about the things he did. He doesn’t want to remember, thank you very much, he’d rather live blissfully oblivious to the stupid shit he did the other night.

• Marinette made them matching “let’s get DRUNK” shirts once.

• Alya sometimes writes her own experiences getting drunk with Adrien and the rest of his friends and sells them to magazines and stuff. She makes sure to carefully word it so that it can’t be used as slander. Everyone usually loves to read Alya’s telling of the stories because damn... she could honestly be a novelist.

Okay I’m done making these, enjoy. :) I did this for shits and giggles mostly and it was fun!! I know a lot of people aren’t going to agree with these and that’s okay, in fact I’d love to hear other people’s headcanons for the drunk OT4.

#Adrienette #Adrinette #DJWifi #Ninette #Alyanette #I don't know the names for the other ships #Adrien Agreste #Alya Cesaire #Nino Lahiffe #Marinette Dupain-Cheng #Marinette Dupain Cheng #Marinette Cheng #Miraculous Ladybug #ML #MLB #Maximilian Speaks #long post

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