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dragon-fly34 · 22 days

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Thank you for the answer yesterday, I really appreciate it! I can tell you more headcanons for my Bowseila ship if you like. Here they are:

During the time Bowser and Sheila got married, Sheila’s father, King Marcos— alongside her nana, Luna the Ram of the Spirit Animal Kingdom— have visited to see what was going on, but as they end up finding Sheila, they were full of happy tears. Sheila notices them and she was in so much happy tears as they all reunited together, much to Bowser’s astonishment, but he was given gratitude from Marcos and Luna for taking care of Sheila— who had told them about Bowser.

Sheila’s past bullies— Fang the Tiger and Karen the Zebra— saw the whole thing at the marriage and they all regretted for how they’ve been treating her in the past before she met Bowser for the first time. They apologized to Sheila, revealing that they also lived in the Spirit Animal kingdom— much to her astonishment— and the three made friends.

Sheila is Bowser’s second wife and queen of the Darklands years after the death of his first wife and queen— Queen Clawdia Koopa. Sheila is still the former princess of the Spirit Animal Kingdom and she still lives there.

Ever since living in the Darklands as queen, Sheila was curious on why Bowser hated the Mario Bros. so much. She doesn’t care that much, but on the other hand, Sheila makes friends with Princess Peach and Daisy and they all hang out like ladies.

While Sheila makes friends with Peach and Daisy, Bowser always mocks Mario and Luigi nonstop— just the fact that the two plumbers are not kings or princes— which shows that he still hates the Mario Bros.

When Bowser and Sheila spend their nighttime together in their room, Sheila is more of a very light sleeper, while Bowser is a very heavy sleeper and he can be quite loud, much to Sheila’s annoyance. But in the few days, it takes Sheila time to be comfortable while sleeping.

Sheila was annoyed on why Bowser always acts flirty with Peach. She can be angered out when he attempts to kidnap Peach like last time he, Junior and the Koopalings did until they all failed their plans.

Sheila has anger problems, but not as much as Bowser does.

Junior and the Koopalings admire their stepmother Sheila as a very kind mother like their late mother Clawdia was. Bowser pictures Sheila as beautiful as his first wife, but mostly as pretty as Peach was.

Sheila was very emotional since her mother— Queen Zoey of the Spirit Animal Kingdom had died years ago— just when Sheila was 4. Bowser, Junior, and the Koopalings were upset to see Sheila in her sad state and they all come to show her support. Bowser tells Sheila what it feels like years ago before they met. He comments that he met Clawdia when they were young and they got married before adopting the Koopalings and raising their son Junior— and that a week went by, Clawdia died of an unknown illness, shattering the hearts of Bowser, Junior, and the Koopalings. Sheila was nearly emotional on hearing Bowser’s story of his first wife, and she showed support to him and his children. But most of all, she gets all the comfort that her mother will be in her heart, and this helped Sheila get over it and feel better.

I hope you liked more Bowseila headcanons I came up with for the Super Mario Bros. AU! ;) 💚💖🔥❤️

@marioandsonicfangirl793-art is headcanons are good, but in my opinion there are 3 headcanons that to change a little:

On 1º headcanon, in my opinion Bowser this surprise was already being prepared for Sheila, in this case before he asked her to marry him, he traveled to the Spirit Animal Kingdom to meet Sheila's father and reunite with Sheila.

The headcanon of Jr and Koopalings I already see on Bowuigi posts, in my opinion Sheila was the only person that understand Jr & Koopalings, because Peach also hate they.

Bowser bullied Mario & Luigi not only because they are plumbers, because they are “princesses’s pets” and the brothers are both bi (That's where my AU comes in).

In my AU, Bowser didn’t tell the story of how Claudia died to Sheila, in this case he just commented that she died, but Sheila asked Kamek and King Boo how her death happened, in this case King Boo and Bowser have been partners for years, soon after Bowser told the full story.

I really support that Sheila is very emotional, Bowser could have hired a psychologist to help her because of her past.

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sunsetcurvecuddles · 3 years

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Willex, stay

anon this accidentally played into the fact that i’ve been thinking about touch starved willie nonstop for weeks. so. here you go. sorry it got long lol “a lil something” this ended up 1.5k words so it’s now available on ao3 as well

(send me a ship and a word and i’ll write you a lil something for clowngate // completed prompts)

Things have been weird, since Willie moved in.

Not bad weird, Willie doesn’t think. Or, a little bad weird. But everything was going to be bad-weird, after what happened with Caleb, anyway. He’s trying to move on as best he can, but there’s a lot of adjustment at once, after he meets Julie and she breaks his curse and suddenly he is - as far as he can tell - a regular teenaged boy again, alive and well, able to graze his knees if he tumbles off his skateboard.

(Yes, he learned that the hard way).

Usually, Willie’s good with change. He likes life to stay fresh, and exciting. It’s just that sometimes he looks around the Molina’s spare room, with its cozy blue bedsheets and little bookshelf on the wall, and thinks about Ray Molina’s kind eyes and the way he’s basically adopted four ghosts that he knew nothing about prior to this out of the sheer goodness of his heart. Willie wonders if he’s stepping on people’s toes, by being here. If he’s in the way.

Everyone else knows each other so well already, is all, and he can’t help but suspect that maybe they resent him for causing all this trouble in the first place, no matter how many times Alex and Julie assure him that’s not the case. He just doesn't feel like he can ask for anything, since they've given him so much already.

And Willie also has this weird sort of pain, maybe leftover from his curse, maybe his soul being a little battered and sore. But it’s this ache that sits just under his rib cage, that thuds with his heart, and that won’t shift. He lies awake at night and feels it, like a very blunt dagger, or a really cold stone. Sinking deeper and deeper in him, like his chest is a bottomless pool of water.

It’s not all bad. Ray lets him skateboard in the little courtyard outside the garage, when he doesn’t feel like going far. He hangs out in the loft and sketches in a book Julie got him, as he listens to her and the boys rehearse. They sound amazing, and getting to watch Alex is Willie’s favourite thing. He looks so relaxed, when he’s drumming, so unselfconscious. Like Alex finally sees, in himself, the Alex that Willie sees all the time.

He just wishes Alex would be that Alex around Willie, again. The way he was before. Alex treats him so carefully now, so tentatively, like any wrong move could make Willie flinch.

Maybe Willie just flinches more than he used to. Maybe it’s not all Alex’s fault.

The ache is back, and Willie’s lying awake, and staring at the ceiling, and wondering why Ray Molina has a copy of The Communist Manifesto in his guest room, when Alex appears at the door. Not literally appears, as in poofs in, but appears by poking his head through the gap Willie left and saying, “Hey, are you still awake?”

Willie looks over at him. Alex is clearly dressed for bed (it’s weird, having to sleep again after all these years), and his blonde hair is all shaggy and in his eyes.

For some reason, the pain in Willie’s chest deepens further. Maybe it is because of the curse. He knows how furious Caleb was about his feelings for Alex. How threatened he felt by them.

“Yeah,” Willie says, belatedly, when Alex gives him a stranger look than normal. “I mean. Apparently.”

“Can I come in?”

Willie nods, sitting up and shuffling his legs up so there’s room for Alex to sit on the end of the bed, which he delicately does.

“I just wanted to check on you,” Alex tells him, folding his hand in his lap and looking up at the roof, the way Willie was moments ago. Willie is looking now at the distance between his toes and Alex’s thigh.

In the past, he never would have hesitated to just tuck his cold feet under the legs of a boy he liked. In fact, that sounds exactly like the kind of thing Willie-from-before would do. He’s just not Willie-from-before any more.

Usually good with change. Not sure how he feels about this change.

“Check on me?” he asks. Still looking at his feet, and Alex’s pajama-clad leg, and Alex’s hands in his lap, now. Wishing he was holding one of Alex’s hands.

God, his chest hurts. It makes him feel shaky.

“You’ve been... quiet?” Alex offers, and then cringes at himself like he regrets the word choice, his beautiful eyebrows pulling together, his beautiful mouth pulling to the side, his beautiful nose framed by the light from the hallway, streaming in through the gap in the half-open door. “Not that you can’t be quiet! Not that you were loud before, either, just...”

Not yourself.

Alex doesn’t have to say it. Willie knows already. His throat feels tight, and man, he doesn’t want to cry in front of Alex, that would be such a shitty thing, after all of this. “I’m sorry,” Willie says softly, though he’s not even exactly sure what he’s apologising for.

Maybe for not being as much fun as he was before. For being yet another thing Alex has to worry about, now, instead of being somewhere Alex doesn’t have to worry about anything.

For some reason, those are the words that break Alex, that make him impulsive. It’s like he moves before he thinks, when he puts his hand on Willie’s knee, squeezes tight. His other hand he moves to Willie’s cheek, cupping his jaw, tilting his head up so they can look at each other properly. “Please don’t be sorry. None of this is your fault.”

The feeling of Alex’s hands burns and soothes all at once, and something in Willie breaks. The floodgates stored in his ribcage burst, the pain overwhelming and then washing away, and he feels the tears spilling over before he has a chance to stop or hide them. He can’t remember the last time someone touched him like this, so gently, with such kindness.

Oh. Yeah, he can. It was Alex, then, too.

“Shit,” Alex exclaims softly, trying to withdraw his hands, but that’s the last thing Willie wants, and he manages,

“Stay? Please, Alex, I can’t be-”

Okay, well, ‘alone again’ is a little melodramatic, he thinks to himself, even in the middle of his own breathless crying. No need to take it that seriously, Will. Alex is saying, “Okay, okay, I won’t go - I’m not leaving, just - what do I do? Am I helping or making it worse?”

Willie just surges forward, rolls onto his knees, and buries his face in Alex’s neck, arms around Alex’s shoulders. Alex holds him back, tight, soothes him in sounds more than words.

The pain washes away down the river. Everywhere Alex touches him, every time Alex runs a hand through Willie’s hair or down Willie’s spine, the ache recedes, reduces, dies down.

“I wanted to give you space,” Alex whispers, lips practically against his ear, the warmth like a bucket of water over Willie’s head in the best way. He’s doing some of his best overthinking, Willie can tell even through his upset. Alex is an astonishingly good multitasker. “But I gave you too much, huh? This... I should’ve been doing this.”

“You didn’t have to,” Willie says, sniffling in a truly disgusting way. “Shouldn’t have to now. Don’t want to make you worry.”

“Please make me worry,” Alex interrupts him. “Please. For once, let me play to my strengths?”

That startles a laugh out of Willie, and Alex grins, Willie can feel it against his face. Now that he’s done crying, now that they’re just sitting there holding each other, he can feel the blooming warmth inside him, the relief. The quiet.

“Better?” Alex asks.

Warmth where there was cold. Comfort where there was pain. It wasn't the curse after all, he guesses, but this is a change Willie can deal with. It’s not Caleb, haunting him still somehow. He just needed a hug. He hums his affirmation. “Can we just... stay like this, for a bit?”

“I guess so,” Alex groans, smiling, and laying back on the bed with his arm outstretched and welcoming, shaggy hair still in his pretty eyes. “I guess we can.” When Willie lays down on his arm, he says quietly, “Just. Tell me next time? If it gets like this? I just wanna help, but I can’t know what you need if you won’t ask me.”

Willie’s instinct is to brush him off, even after everything that’s happened, but the relief is still so palpable, and Alex seems so warm and genuine, and safe, like everything Willie’s ever dreamed of. Better than he deserves, for sure, but that doesn’t mean he has to say no. He’s seeing that now.

“I’ll ask,” he promises, and he means it. “I’ll ask you.”

part 2

part 3

#willex #jatp #netflixwewantjatp2 #julie and the phantoms #alex mercer #willie #mine #my fic #not touch starved willie... my kryptonite....#Anonymous

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falling-fineline · 3 years

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Native of mine you’re just my kind

(A Cake one shot)

Title and lyrics from “Lonely Hearts” by 5SOS and some inspiration from Ashton’s breakdown of CALM that he did for #1yearofCALM.

Summary: Distance makes the heart grow fonder, or so they say. What they don’t tell you is that it also exhaustingly lonely.

Warnings: smut and fluff! You’ve been warned!

can also be found on ao3!

Our house on fire

We’re burning

We dance inside

You’re hurting

If you leave me in the morning

I’ll have such a

Such a lonely heart

“I’m only gone for a week to see the family, Luke. Not moving back there forever. Plus, it’s my fourth day here so there’s technically four more days until you see me again. There’s no need to bring out that pout of yours, pet.” Calum rolls his brown eyes but smiles fondly at how childish his boyfriend is being right now.

Luke pouts for a second longer at the screen, then a small grin breaks the pout.

The blond loved these facetimes they have. There were no verbal promises but they’ve been facetiming at least twice a day, sometimes more. Mostly about silly things, most calls that don’t last more than 5 minutes. But these little nuggets of seeing calum’s really are the sole thing that’s Luke got looking forward to every day since Calum’s been gone. Luke won’t admit it to himself, and he thinks that Calum has caught on but just doesn’t say anything about it, but most of the calls are from Luke, and it’s whenever he gets a spike of ice cold fear that he calls Calum. An irrational fear, he knows, that calum’s going to stay in Aus, and not come back, essentially breaking up with him.

Aside from walking Petunia around the block every morning and night, Luke hasn’t doesn’t anything else other than lying around in bed, waiting for Calum to call him.

A pretty sad sounding existence, he knows. But ever since Calum left to visit his family in Australia a few days ago, luke’s been spiraling. He had sensed the his mental fragility settling in when he said goodbye to Calum at the airport and his mood has had a downward trajectory ever since. Luke went from quarantining with Calum ever since they came back from tour, seeing Calum every day, to suddenly not seeing him. This has thrown his head into a pitiful sad loop.

“Luke, you still with me, love? I know it’s late over there in LA but you called me.” A light chuckle rang out from Luke’s phone, in his hands as he laid on his side in bed.

“I just… couldn’t sleep. Wanted to see your stupid face again.”

Luke actually hadn’t slept for more than 2-3 hours every night ever since Calum left. This morning, Luke woke up, head in a hazy state, and just sat out on their balcony, staring at absolutely nothing. Begging to feel the sun that’s shining on him, the warm hug she would have beared for him. Anything but this dark pit that regenerated out of thin air, in his chest, that seeped into his bones during the night Calum left and he hasn’t felt a thing in days.

Calum sees through Luke right away. It’s as if their souls were grown in the same origin, or something. Calum’s the only one that takes one look at luke and instantly reads him like an open book. Eager to read every word, every sentence, meticulous in not missing any clues along the way.

“Luke, you can be honest with me. This is your 5th call ever since I woke up and I’ve only been for 6 hours. I’m not saying to call me less, but today’s been a lot, huh? How have you been feeling?” calum’s concerned brown orbs search Luke’s through the screen, trying to see any minute change in the blond’s features that would give him away.

Luke closes his eyes for a moment, thinking of a suitable answer. He readjusts on the bed so he’s sitting up against the headboard. The younger lad had been so caught up in his head, wallowing in his sadness, he hadn’t really checked in with how he was feeling. Luke’s speak is thoughtful when he speaks.

“ive been feeling… lonely. Nothing new to me, nothing new to you.” A dry chuckle leaves the blond’s mouth and he see’s his boyfriend readjust in his own bed, mimicking Luke’s position. Calum’s eyes are filled with concern for the blond, a frown on his lips.

“now what have we talked about using humour to minimise how you’re feeling? Remember, for me to understand how you’re feeling, you gotta be honest with me, especially with how you feel.”

“I just hope that you’re missing me half as much as I’m missing you right now, cal.” Tears begin to form in the blond’s eyes, making his vision of Calum a misty one. But he continues on with how he truly feels. “Like, my heart hurts whenever you’re not here with me. I’ve got such a lonely heart without you here, cal.” A choked sob escapes out of the younger lad’s lips. He’s quick to wipe his tears with his hoodie sleeve before he looks like a right mess in front of his boyfriend.

“Oh, pet. Don’t cry. If anything, I do miss you, so, so, much. My chest can barely hold myself together. Every song reminds me of you and I’ve been listening to my music nonstop without you here with me. Mali keeps making fun of me cuz I’m glued to my phone, chatting with you all day long.” A wet grin appears on Luke’s lips then, reveling in the feeling of being missed. Of being thought about. Of feeling wanted.

Interest grows in Luke’s as he watches Calum innocently lick his lips. A low groan comes out of Luke’s mouth as he sinks into the bedframe, sinking deeper into his beige hoodie, his hood flipping flat on his blond locks.

“oh, I know those eyes whenever I see them. You in the mood right now, Hemmings?” Luke blushes even when he sees Calum strip out of his black calm sweatshirt through his screen, revealing a number of scattered tattoos all over his abdomen and arms. Luke drools at the thought of what comes next.

Luke begins to play with his growing bulge that’s beginning to come alive in his briefs, causing the camera to shake a bit. Calum noticed the movement and smirks.

“Are you touching yourself right now, babe? Is me being shirtless causing you to become hot and bothered, my boy?” just to seemingly directly add to Luke’s erection and to the mental wanking log he has of visuals of Calum, Calum flexes his tattooed arm for the camera, muscles seemingly bulging out of his skin.

Luke moans in luau of responding, one hand starts the task of getting his dick out of his briefs and one hand holding the phone steady. He moves his camera back a bit, revealing his angry red cock that glistens at the tip with precome. Calum’s whistles lowly at seeing his boyfriend’s big cock.

Luke overtly stares at calum’s tattooed arm. The way the 5 o’clock shadows are casted on his muscles, clinging to every curve and jutted out vein. The blond fantasizes that it’s calum’s hand that’s jerking himself off right now, arm pumping up and down, muscles working overtime to get Luke to his climax.

Luke’s eyes become hooded eyelashes fluttering as he feels the familiar warmth coil itself in his abdomen, close to release. Mouth hanging open, Calum doesn’t think Luke realizes the soft continuous “ah ah ah’s” that are leaking out of his mouth as he feels his orgasm building. Small tears escape his eyes with how good Luke feels as he imagines it’s his boyfriend’s thumb that goes over the tip of his leaking cock, sliding his precome over his slick dick. At one point during their FaceTime, Luke had stopped jerking himself off to hike up the beige hoodie that he has on, tucking it under his chin, revealing perky nipples and pale skin with luscious chest hair.

“Look how pretty my boy is, all desperate for me.” Luke preens at calum’s words, warmth growing in his cheeks and heart. “Look how beautiful you are, at worked up, just from imagining me jerking your big huge cock off. And it’s at for me, my eyes only. God damn it Hemmings, what am I gonna do with you?” Calum lips his lips in anticipation. Luke loved when Calum got possessive in their dirty talk. It made him feel wanted, lusted over, and more importantly, loved.

A low whine escapes Luke’s lips as the blond imagines face-fucking Calum. He’d take his cock so nicely into his mouth. His greedy greedy mouth. Luke imagines calum’s jaw going slack as the brunet succumbs to his own pleasure and with a dazed look in his brown orbs, the blond imagines fucking calum’s throat relentlessly as he jerks himself to climax.

With a shout of calum’s name, Luke comes all over his stomach and chest, huge spurts of white spunk paints his chest hair, mingling in the unruly curls.

Eyes glazed over with his orgasm, the blond sees his boyfriend’s mouth open in a silent scream as Calum cums too in his own pants.

After a couple minutes of silence from both ends as they came down from their orgasmic highs, Luke chuckles.

“I really needed that cal. Thanks. I’m so relaxed now…”

They stay on the line for a while longer, just smiling like goofs to each other.

#cake hoodings #cake 5sos #calum hood #luke hemmings #one shot #smut #fluff #drabble #fan fic #my work

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redbone135 · 4 years

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Anniversary

(Another short drabble for Swanfire week. This one is off theme - I’m bad with memes, and everyone deserves one free space, I’m using mine early. Anyway, it’s set in an AU where August never shows. Read here, or on AO3)

Year 1: Paper

Their first anniversary together, Neal gets Emma a road map to Tallahassee that he’s marked with all sorts of restaurants and tourist traps that he wants to stop at along the way. She is about to have Henry, and so their anniversary escapes her mind and she forgets to give him a gift. He teases her about it nonstop, but after Henry is born they do take the road trip and they stop at ALL the places Neal has marked along the way, collecting pictures for Henry's baby scrapbook.

Year 2: Cotton

Emma - adamant she will not forget this year - gets Neal a new set of paintbrushes that he’s been eyeing at the store, but won’t get because of their budget. Neal loves them, but explains that wood is the gift for five year anniversaries. He gives her and Henry a matching pair of pjs to replace his old t-shirt that she sleeps in. She loves the gift, but still wears his t-shirt underneath them.

Year 3: Leather

Emma is determined this will be the year she gets it right. But why did it have to be leather? Paper and Cotton were so much easier. Finally she decides to get him a nice new watch with a leather band. She has ‘You stole my heart’ engraved on the back. Neal cries because it’s the best gift anyone has ever given him. He got her a new leather recliner to sit in while rocking Henry to sleep, since the last one was second-hand and falling apart. She points out that Henry is almost two and she won’t have a baby to rock to sleep much longer. He asks if she’d like to change that.

Year 4: Fruit or Flowers

Neal is thankful this year is so cheap, the budget is tight with Henry starting preschool. He buys Emma a bouquet of flowers and a nice card which he writes a thoughtful message in. But he still worries after the watch she is going to show him up. She gives him a single blueberry, which is a relief, but also confusing as hell. Is he supposed to eat it? She laughs and tells him, “That’s how big our baby is right now.” And Neal cries again, because, okay, now that is the best gift anyone has ever given him.

Year 5: Wood

With two kids under five in the house, Neal thinks that what they really need this year is a trip. But at best he can afford a babysitter. So he and Emma go out to dinner, and the ability to relax is a better gift than most. She gets him a set of paintbrushes to replace the ones he has worn out in the last couple years, and a rueful smile to let him know she remembered his snide remark on their second year together. He buys her a wooden sign for their front door, with their last name and a blank spot for the address. He tells her, one day, he’ll buy her a house where they can proudly hang that sign. His gift this year is a promise.

Year 6: Candy or Iron

This year Neal resists the urge to buy iron bracelets for his entire family. It is a traditional gift back in the Enchanted Forest, as Iron repels magic and fairies. But that life is behind him. So instead he books them their first trip away from Tallahassee, taking the kids to Disney and making a point to buy Emma candy in every store they go in. She thinks it’s silly, but the kids are eager to help her eat all her candy. Her gift to him involves some alone time, a bottle of chocolate sauce, and not much else. They make an absolute mess out of their hotel room, but Neal can’t even feel a little bad for house cleaning the next morning.

Year 7: Wool

Neal is quite familiar with all the possible gifts for this year, but again, he is striving to forget about the family he has lost and instead focus on the one he has gained. Emma is pregnant again, their third child due any day now, and more than anything she just wants to relax. Furthermore, they’ve agreed to keep this year cheap because they are saving for a house. Three kids in a two-bedroom apartment just isn’t doable anymore. She gets him a nice new scarf, and he gets her a throw blanket. They wrap them and their two children in the blanket and spend the evening watching movies as a family.

Year 8: Pottery

Emma has developed quite the green thumb since moving into their little house only a block away from Henry and Mary’s school. Neal loves watching her in the little garden out back, explaining all the different plants to their older children with Jenny on her hip as they walk through the rows of flowers and vegetables she has planted with their little plastic watering cans in hand. So this year he buys her several decorative pots for their front porch and he takes her to the nursery to pick out all the different flowers she wants to fill them with. Emma, gives him three painted coffee mugs. The first, says “World’s Best Dad” and is painted in stars and constellations like the ones he tells Henry about to get him to fall asleep at night. The second, in much shakier handwriting says “I <3 You” and has tiny hearts - the only thing Mary can draw - all over the side. The last one is just splashes of color, tiny fingerprints still visible in the paint.

“That one is from the baby,” Emma explains, and once again she wins ‘Best Gift’ this year.

Year 9: Willow

They are both stumped this year - no pun intended. After a few months of searching, they confess neither one can find a decent gift made out of willow. That’s when one of them proposes the idea - and years down the line no one can remember which one - that they renew their vows under the willow tree at the Shakespeare Garden across town. Their first wedding was a rushed courthouse ceremony, Emma was at least five months pregnant, and Neal wore jeans. This time they do it right. So ten years of knowing and loving each other, the remarry by the water under the weeping willow tree. Henry is Neal’s best man, Mary is entrusted with the rings, and little Jenny does her best to toddle down the aisle throwing fistfuls of flowers, almost hostility, at the guests.

“Can we stop with the themed gifts now?” Emma asks as they eat leftover cake, their three children piled up and passed out, still in their fancy clothes, on the corner of the dance floor.

“Why?” Neal asks with a raised eyebrow, “Worried I’ll outdo you for tin?”

“No,” she laughs, leaning her head against his shoulder. “There just is no better gift than this.”

#sfweek2020 #swanfire #neal cassidy #emma swan #ouat #anniversary #off-theme

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ghosttotheparty · 4 years

Text

cotton candy skies always look better in person

3. also available on AO3 chapter 2

“I’m all yours”?

Who the fuck says that to someone they just met?

Although, Lucas didn’t seem to mind the statement, even if it was a little weird. Jens had almost made a face at himself, almost apologized, but every sense of embarrassment disappeared when Lucas’s smile widened. Fuck, that smile.

Jens has been thinking about it all week. Really he’s been thinking about Lucas all week, everything about him. It’s like Jens took a picture of him with his mind. Or several pictures. Jens remembers everything. The way his hair fell in his face, the way he pushed it back to look at Jens. The polish on his nails that shined as the sunlight hit it. The silver rings on his fingers, the Jens noticed he twisted sometimes. The striped shirt that peeked out from under the dark hoodie that he wore, a hoodie that looked a size or two too big. The necklaces that hung down from his neck (which Jens didn’t stare at when he wasn’t looking), a few chains and one with a key. The ripped jeans that clung to his legs (which Jens definitely didn’t stare at when he wasn’t looking).

Jens thinks about him almost every second of every day. It’s like his name is stuck in his head.

Lucas, Lucas, Lucas, Lucas, Lucas…

His name and his eyes.

Those fucking eyes.

Jens would compare them to the sky or the sea but really no words could do them justice. Jens stared into them for so long that night that they were engraved into his mind, which Jens was fine with.

Jens finds himself smiling randomly during the day, even at school in the middle of conversations and lessons, remembering those eyes. Or something Lucas said that night. Or just remembering Lucas exists. The guys all ask what’s up, why he’s suddenly grinning to himself, and he tells them he’s thinking about something Lotte said that morning, or a meme. He considers spilling everything right there, the ballet, the bisexuality, and the boy. But he doesn’t. He’s kept dance a secret for so long. He wants to keep Lucas a secret for a little longer too.

Although, he thinks, if everything goes the way he hopes it does, he won’t be able to for much longer. If Lucas feels the same way, which as much as Jens hopes he does and suspects he does, he can’t bring himself to believe, maybe Jens will be okay with everyone knowing everything. Maybe he won’t have to hide anymore.

But that isn’t happening yet. They’ve only hung out once (for hours), and Jens doesn’t even know his last name. Or his phone number, which Jens wants more than anything.

To be honest, Jens doesn’t really know what it is about Lucas that makes him feel like this. No one’s ever made him feel like this, feel so… whatever it is. He feels like he trusts Lucas, strangely, despite meeting him only once. Lucas knows about the ballet, knows everything about the ballet, and Jens is fine with it. Fine with Lucas knowing things about him that his closest friends don’t. Fine with it, and comfortable with it, really. Talking about ballet was easy with Lucas. (Unless he made direct eye contact with him. If that happened, all bets were off and his mouth forgot how to speak.) He wasn’t shy about it. And Lucas saw him in pink tights for fuck’s sake, what was talking about dance compared to that?

Jens doesn’t wear his pink tights today. But he also doesn’t change out of his practise clothes. He keeps on his black leggings, sliding his red hoodie and oversized jacket before putting in an earring as he talks to Damien.

“Guess who has to watch their brother again?” Damien says harshly, pulling a shirt on.

“Ew, why?”

“My parents are going on a date-”

“Cute.”

“-and apparently my other brother isn’t mature enough to hold down the fort.”

“Wait, you have two brothers?”

Damien freezes, a hand on the door of his locker, and stares at Jens in disbelief.

“Where exactly have you been for the past four years?”

Jens shrugs.

“Under a rock, I guess.”He pulls the strap of his bag over his after tugging his shoes on. On the way to the door, he pauses and smooths his hair down. When it doesn’t work, he fluffs it back up again, turning his head and analyzing it in the reflection.

“Who are you trying to look good for?” Damien approaches his shoulder, clutching his bag to his chest. Jens sighs.

“Your mom.”

“Oh-kay.”

“You should ask Rosa to hang out with you while you watch your brother,” Jens says, changing the subject. He hasn’t told Damien, or Lena or Rosa, about Lucas. He opens the door, standing out of the way so Damien can get past.

“Thanks.” Damien waits for his outside as another dancer passes through the door Jens is holding open. “And no thanks, I don’t think she’ll want to.”

“I think she’d be down for anything if you’ll be there.”

They make their way down the steps and to the main door, squeezing past the jazz dancers getting ready for practice. Another ballerina is holding the door open, and they both thank her as they pass. Outside the skies are mostly clear, clouds scattered in the horizon.

“Boys!” Lena jumps on Jens’s back and he catches her legs so she doesn’t fall. “How we doing?”

“You’re in a good mood,” Damien notes as she slides down, landing on her feet and keeping an arm around Jens’s neck. Rosa rolls her eyes.

“She’s been talking nonstop since practice ended. I think she’s high.”

“I am not,” Lena says, pointing at her. “But! I have a date tonight and it’s gonna be fun.”

“Why do you go on dates on Thursday?” Damien asks as he steps out of the way so a girl can pass. “Doesn’t it make more sense to go out on Fridays? Then you can stay out later.”

“Oh, baby Damien…” She lets go of Jens (he straightens his back from bending over) and pats Damien’s cheeks, holding his face. “No one said I have to sleep.”

“Yeah, but-” Jens stops listening.

He looks to the sides, outside the convenience store, hoping to see a certain curly-haired Dutch boy, to no avail. Jens looks around, craning his neck slightly to see into the alleyway, and scans the sidewalk on the other side of the street. He doesn’t see Lucas.

He looks back at his friends, worrying. Maybe Lucas forgot. Or maybe he changed his mind. Jens’s heart sinks.

“Anyway, I’ve got to get ready for my Thursday night date,” Lena’s voice cuts into his thoughts. She emphasizes “Thursday night,” cutting an intense look to Damien. “I gotta go.” She hugs Rosa and Damien and turns to Jens, holding her hand out.

“You okay?” she asks as he grabs it, pulling her in so their shoulders bump. Her eyebrows are turned up, worried.

“Yeah, I’m good. I’m tired, I didn’t eat much before practice.” He’s gotten good at lying on the spot.

“Ah.” She smacks the back of his hand before turning away. “Fill up that belly, my friend. Bye, guys!” And she’s gone.

“I have to watch my brother tonight,” Damien says, sighing as he checks the time on his watch.

“Ugh, that sucks.” Rosa looks at him sympathetically. “I’m so glad my parents don’t make me watch mine anymore, he’s a nightmare.” She looks down at her phone, responding to a text, and Jens catches Damien’s eye over her head. Fucking ask her, he mouths. Damien shakes his head. I swear to God. Jens’s eyes widen, making a threat. What exactly he’s threatening he doesn’t know, but it seems to work.

“Rosa, do you want to come over?” Damien’s face darkens as she looks up at him. “It’ll be with my brother so we’ll probably just watch a movie, but I can make pizza. Or something,” he finished awkwardly.

“Yeah, that sounds fun!” She sends the text and looks at Jens. “You’re coming?”

“No, I’ve got something,” he answers, smiling.

“Oh, okay.” She reaches up for a hug and Jens embraces her, holding his hand up in an “okay” sign behind her back for Damien to see. Damien grins.

“I’ll see you next week!” She waves as she and Damien walk away. Jens watched them go, smiling when Rosa’s shoulder bumps into Damien, and he pulls out his phone to send a text to Lena.

Rosa and Damien: ✔

He looks up as two blue check marks appear ar his message, glancing around to see if he can see Lucas anywhere. When he doesn’t, he looks back at his phone to see Lena’s messages.

WHAT ARE

YOU TALKING ABOUT He laughs, typing.

Chill, they’re just hanging out He pauses and adds another message.

Watching Damien’s brother

Before Lena sends her message, something bumps Jens’s shoulder and he looks up, startles, into those eyes.

“Hey.” Lucas sounds out of breath and his cheeks are pink.

“Hi.” Jens steps back, looking him up and down. He’s wearing an old sweater, that one could call a grandpa sweater, and black jeans. He’s got on the same necklaces as last time, but now the strap of camera bag is around his neck, too. Jens’s eyes pause for half a second at a rainbow pin on it before looking back up into his eyes, which get smaller as he smiles.

He looks the way fresh paint smells.

Fucking intoxicating.

“I was wondering where you were,” Jens says after taking a breath. He slides his phone into his pocket.

“Sorry, I got a little lost on the way here.” He takes a deep, shuddering breath. “I just ran down the street,” he says, pointing behind himself with a thumb when Jens raises his eyebrows.

“Just for me?”

“Of course, who else?” Jens grins.

“I brought the weed today, by the way.” “Ah, hell yeah.” Lucas turns, beckoning him toward the alley. “You have to sit in the light.”

“Why?” Jens asks, confused, and Lucas turns, walking backwards, and hold up the camera case, smiling mischievously. Jens grins as he digs the joint out of the front pocket of his bag.

Silently, the two of them lift themselves onto the dumpster. Lucas slips as he gets up, and Jens is already reaching out to catch him when he catches himself. Jens’s face burns.

“How was practice?” Lucas asks as Jens lights the joint. Jens looks at him, surprised, although he doesn’t know why, and he tucks the lighter back into his bag, which he had tossed behind himself.

“Good.” Lucas raises his eyebrows and nods, gesturing with his hand for him to keep going. “I’m fucking tired.”

“You do pointe, right?”

Jens nods as he takes another drag.

“Yeah, how’d you know?”

“I saw your shoes the first time I saw you.”

“Right.” He looks away, feeling like there’s a wildfire burning in his chest.

“Heard it’s difficult.” Lucas reaches out for the joint and Jens passes it to him. Their fingers brush.

“It is. Very.”

“Respect.” Lucas holds the joint up like he’s giving a toast before bringing to his lips, and Jens can’t help but watch his cheeks hollow as he inhales. And then he forces himself to look away.

“How’s your day going?” he asks after a few beats of silence.

“Good. Better now.” Jens’s face turns pink. There’s a pause. “My dad called earlier.” Lucas is making a face when Jens turns to look.

“Gross.”

Lucas’s laugh is something made of magic.

“What did he say?” Jens asks.

“Nothing good. Or interesting.” Lucas holds the joint out and Jens is struck with sudden boldness. He grabs Lucas’s hand, his fingers under Lucas’s, gently, and leans forward to examine his nails. They’re all shirt, a few of them painted a dark blue-green, the others natural and shiny. Pretty.

“I like your nails.” He lifts his hand and takes the joint, looking at Lucas, whose eyes are slightly wide.

“Yeah?” “Mm-hmm.”

He lifts it to his mouth, leaning back on his hand, and takes a slow drag, his heart beating fast, but feeling more at ease than he’s felt all week. And he doesn’t think it’s just the weed.

“I like this,” Lucas’s voice says.

He starts to turn but stops when he sees Lucas’s hand come close to his face, and feels his earring gently.

“You do?” he asks, feeling like he could start screaming.

“Yeah, it’s…” Lucas trails off and retracts his hand, placing it on his camera, which Jens hadn’t seen him take out of the bag.

“It’s…” Jens bobs his head at him and Lucas suppresses a smile.

“Hot.”

Complete anarchy fills his head, complete with screaming, sirens, flashing lights.

“Ah.” He grins and turns away again, taking a drag.

“Here, do something.” Lucas pulls his legs up in front of himself, crossing them, and points the camera at him.

“Like what?”

“I don’t fucking know, anything.”

Jens swings a leg up in front of himself and lets the other dangle as he takes one more drag. He drops his hands in front of his lap, opening his mouth and letting the smoke drift around his face. He hears the camera click several times.

He hears a very quiet “Yeah…” and grins behind the smoke. Lucas lowers the camera, looking at the screen, and then looks up, giving Jens thumbs up.

“Good?” Jens asks.

“Yeah.” Lucas raises the camera again, leaning back slightly. “Do something else.”

Jens lifts the leg that’s in front of him so his knee is upright, and brings the joint back up, holding it between his lips as he puts his forearm on his knee and rests his chin on his arm. He watches as Lucas’s lips curve into a smile behind the camera as it snaps again.

The camera lowers and Lucas looks at the pictures, Jens stares as his face, fully appreciating the freckles scattered across his skin like stars, the mole above his mouth, his lashes that spread like a fan. A curl falls, obstructing Jens’s view, and he has to hold back from reaching out and pushing it out of the way.

“Look.” Lucas uncrosses his legs and uses them to push himself so he’s sitting next to Jens, whose heart feels like it might beat out of his chest. Lucas’s shoulder is touching Jens’s. Jens doesn’t move away. Lucas holds the camera up, showing Jens the first photos with the smoke covering his face. Jens takes the weed out of his mouth, holding it so the side so the smoke isn’t being blown into Lucas’s face.

“If I edit it so the focus is on you, like if I blur the background, it’ll look really cool, don’t you think?” Lucas looks up at Jens, who isn’t even really looking at the photo.

“Yeah, for sure.”

Lucas smiles and turns back to the camera. Jens holds the joint up in front of him, offering, and Lucas looks at it before leaning forward and taking it between his lips. Jens’s eyes widen and he pulls his hand away, letting Lucas hold it in his mouth (Oh my God oh my God oh my God) and then Lucas tilts his head up, his eyes still looking at the camera as he analyzes the other photos, and Jens reaches up, taking it, and scoffs lightly.

“I had a history test this week,” he says, trying to ease his body temperature.

“Yeah? How’d it go?” Lucas turns so he’s facing Jens, putting distance between them, and Jens’s side suddenly feels cold.

“How do you think?”

Lucas makes a face, a comical grimace, and Jens laughs.

“Yeah, exactly.”

“I’m telling you, find a way to talk to me during your tests and I’ll help you if you help me with my math.”

“Talk to you as in texting or like telepathically?”

Lucas switches the camera off and leans back against the rough behind them.

“Telepathically would be dope.”

“I’ll get on that.”

Lucas laughs before, “Speaking of texting, why don’t I have your number yet?”

“Because you haven’t asked?” Jens replies sassily, and yeah, they’re definitely flirting.

“Well.” Lucas produces a phone from the side of the camera bag. “Better get on that.” He opens it, typing in a code, and passes it to Jens when he opens a new contact.

Jens smiles as he types his name and number in before handing it back to him. Lucas sends him a text after a second, just a ?, and Jens sends one back.

“Had to make sure it’s legit,” Lucas says.

“Why would I give you a fake number?”

“I don’t know, you don’t like me or something?”

Jens furrows his brows at him.

“If I didn’t like you, I wouldn’t let you take my picture.”

“Touché.”

There’s a beat of silence as Jens adds Lucas to his contacts (Lucas📷) before he asks, “What school do you go to? I haven’t seen you around except here.”

“I’m doing online.”

“Ooo.” They both put their phones in their pockets. “How’s that going for you?”

“Honestly I like it better. School is exhausting.”

“Yeah.”

“Especially people. It’s nice to have a break.”

“The people are exhausting?”

“Mm-hmm.”

“Am I?”

“Not yet.”

“Oh-kay.” Jens laughs and reaches out, pushing him, and Lucas giggles, grabbing Jens’s hand and pushes it away.

“If I fall off of this, I’m going to kill you.”

Later, as the joint burns down between the two of them, Jens asks how online school worlds. Lucas tells him about the calendar he has online, how all of his assignments for the school year are already laid out in front of him.

“It’s a lot less stressful, knowing every assignment that’s coming.”

“Sounds nice. Sometimes I don’t know what assignments I have until a week after they’re due.”

Lucas’s eyes squint when he laughs.

Eventually, Jens realises the sky has darkened, and he looks up to see the stars, which automatically make him think of Lucas’s freckles. And the fact that it’s much later than he feels like it is.

“Shit.” He pulls out his phone, seeing a text from his mom, sent almost twenty minutes ago.

Where are you???

He types out a response as he swings his legs off the dumpster and jumps to the ground.

Sorry, lost track of time. On my way home now.

“Oh, yeah, you have school tomorrow, don’t you?” Lucas asks as he hand’s Jens’s bag to him.

“Ugh, yes.”

“Sucks to be you.”

Jens furrows his brow at him as he pulls the strap over his head.

“Don’t you too?”

“Yeah, but I don’t have to get up until like ten.” Lucas gives him a dry grin and jumps down, clutching the camera. Jens flips him off and he laughs.

They part ways ar the sidewalk, going down opposite paths, and say goodbye by bumping their palms and fists together. Jens has to stuff his hand in his pocket after to stop it from shaking. Not even five minutes later, as he walks alone down an empty sidewalk, the sound of passing cars in the distance muffled by tall buildings, he receives a text message.

I’ll see you next week?

He smiles before answering.

Of course.

#van der stoffels #vds #vds fic #van der stoffels fic #jens stoffels #lucas van der heijden #lucas vdh #jens x lucas #jens and lucas #wtfoc #skam nl #cotton candy skies #cotton candy skies always look better in person

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softlass27 · 4 years

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So... I had a couple of comments on my Robron foster parenting fic from last week, asking for more of this universe. I don’t know if I’ll ever properly write it as a full story, but what I do have are some little character profiles for each of the kids mentioned, as well as their ages when the Home Farm move takes place :)

Seb (11)

So Aaron and Robert had many (so many) discussions about – and with – Seb before they started fostering. They were initially very worried about the risk of Seb feeling neglected or sidelined by them bringing more children – some of whom may require extra care and attention – into the home. Robert was especially concerned about this, considering his own bad experiences when his parents took in Andy.

But Seb, being the good (fantastic) kid that he is, takes it all in his stride. For the most part, he loves having a big family, even if its not the most conventional. He was already pretty mature for his age, so he understands why sometimes the other kids might need some extra support with things. Before he came to live in Emmerdale permanently, his home life with Ross and Rebecca wasn’t exactly stable (thank god his dads got him out of there – he has a feeling that’s what gave them the fostering idea in the first place), so he knows a little of what it’s like to come from a difficult environment.

As much as he’s cool with his living situation, he does occasionally ask for a bit of one-on-one time with his dads, which they will go above and beyond to give him no matter what’s going on with the family.

Rather enjoys being the eldest – and therefore the leader – of the bunch. Aaron says he gets that from Robert.

Very witty for his age, and never without a good comeback. Robert says he gets that from Aaron.

Really likes cooking with Robert, and has been ever since he was just a wee boy.

Once showed his parents a 10-slide powerpoint presentation on why he and Eddie should get a super-cool race car bunkbed from Ikea.

Eddie (10)

Eddie is, well… loud. A chaotic boy. But a very sweet one.

He has ADHD, so he struggles a little at school and gets into trouble every now and then (mainly for talking), but for the most part his teachers can’t help taking a liking to him.

Eddie loves attention, but he’s harmless in the way he seeks it. Telling jokes, presenting pictures he’s drawn (he loves comic books and often likes to create his own), showing off a new trick on his bike or skateboard. It’s rare for his foster family to go longer than a day without someone hearing him shout, “Hey, watch this!” Aaron and Robert often have to gently remind him to use his inside voice, and not to railroad the others when they’re trying to say something or pick an activity.

More than anything, Eddie just wants to be noticed. He never got much of that with his mum, who fails to turn up for their supervised visits more often than not. It’s agonising for Aaron and Robert to watch him be let down by her over and over again, trying so hard to cover up his hurt by shrugging and saying it doesn’t matter, then acting like there’s nothing wrong by throwing himself into playing video games with Seb as soon as they get home. But one of them will normally find him curled up crying a few hours later, and it takes lots of cuddles, ice cream and a super hero movie to make him feel better.

Eddie’s only six months younger than Seb, which Robert was initially worried about (again, his memories of Andy coming into play there), but the two of them are thick as thieves. They’re kind of chalk and cheese personality-wise, but they actually balance each other out pretty well.

Will do literally any dare he’s given. This has led to more than one trip to A&E and more than one grey hair for Robert.

Theme parks are his favourite places in the world.

Would live on pizza if he could.

Clumsy as hell. Never put anything breakable in Eddie’s reach.

Lottie (7)

Lottie is by far the shyest, quietest of the kids. She didn’t bring any toys or games with her, but she did bring a small backpack of books that she clung onto like a lifeline. This gave Robert (as we all know, an avid reader) something to bond over with her, and he soon discovered that a way to get Lottie talking was to ask her which books she likes.

The answer, as it happens, is anything fantasy-based. The Narnia series, The Hobbit, Peter Pan, most fairy tales… anything with some magic and maybe a princess and she’s sold. They have a feeling her books have been a bit of an escape from reality for her in the past, so they make sure her bedroom has a nice little bookcase so she can keep them close.

Her favourite thing after reading is playing in the garden or around the village. Sometimes with the others but again, she’s quite happy in her own little world. Before coming to live in Emmerdale, she’d been brought up in a cramped flat in a city centre, surrounded by traffic and concrete. So living in somewhere like the Yorkshire Dales (and all the space that comes with it) is a total novelty to her. She takes to it like a duck in water though, loves the green fields and the streams and the animals. She’ll spend hours running around in the dirt (usually spreading it all over the house when she gets home, too) and becomes a proper country girl. Robert gets her the complete Beatrix Potter collection, combining her two loves.

Because she’s so content with her nose in a book, Aaron and Robert do have to prompt her to join in with the others sometimes. But once she’s been given a nudge, she’ll usually put down whatever she’s reading and interact with her foster family. She does like having fun with the others, she just likes to have her space, too.

Aaron and Robert have lost her in Waterstones more than once.

The biggest cuddler, and the most likely to crawl into Aaron and Robert’s bed on a weekend morning.

A huge fan of beans on toast, and therefore prefers Aaron’s cooking to Robert’s.

Cannot do maths. Will never be able to get the hang of maths. Thinks maths is the stupidest thing ever invented.

Has just one or two friends at school and likes it that way.

Takes it upon herself to be the one to read Tasha’s bedtime story most nights.

Mike (6)

Mike was initially the most… difficult in terms of behaviour. He was too small to do much damage, but his first few weeks with them involved a fair bit of biting and scratching, and he got very easily wound up. Lots of tears and mood swings.

Aaron was so good with him. Robert was too, but from the beginning Aaron had a real knack for calming Mike down when he was distressed. It took several months to really get him settled (he tried to run away more than once – not that he got very far in their tiny village), but with a lot of patience and the right support, they figured it out in the end.

Now Mike is much calmer, and much happier. He still has his moments, but he never lashes out like violently like he used to. He gets some additional help from the school, and Aaron and Robert both have a lot of meetings with his teachers to check in on everything.

As mentioned in the original fic, he’s really not great with the dark. But they’ve managed to work their way from him needing the big light on at night, to his bedside lamp, down to a single nightlight, so he’s getting there.

Absolutely idolises Eddie, and tries to copy everything he does. Aaron and Robert are both praying this hero worship will transition from Eddie to Seb, just so they can have a slightly easier life.

Also adores their ginger tabby cat, Pumpkin (named by Seb when they got her one October). All the kids love her, but she and Mike have a Special Connection, and when he gets home from school, he will not rest until he’s tracked Pumpkin down, snuggled up with with her and told her all about his day. He finds her purrs very calming.

Loves a good LEGO model. Him and Robert will spend hours on them.

Karate-obsessed. He’s been into it every since his first lesson, but has to be told more than once that he is not to try out any moves on his foster siblings.

Will inevitably lose most things. Toys, gloves, crayons, homework, shoes (one time while he was wearing them – Aaron and Robert still can’t work that one out)… he simply cannot keep track of where anything is.

Hates reading and never picks up a book unless he has to for English homework. Lottie is scandalised by this. Scandalised.

Natasha (Tasha) (4)

The baby of the group, and the youngest Aaron and Robert have ever fostered, which they were initially a little hesitant about. When they first brought her home just after she’d turned 3, she had very limited speech for a child her age. Even her crying was near-silent.

But with time, effort, and some speech therapy, she comes along leaps and bounds. Once she starts picking words up from her foster parents (as well as the nonstop chatter from the other kids), she doesn’t stop, it’s amazing how fast she gets the hang of it. Now it’s a miracle if they can get her to stop talking.

A very big fan of Postman Pat.

Will do almost anything for a chocolate biscuit.

Steals Aaron’s hoodies and uses them as blankets.

Has the biggest eyes anyone has ever seen, and her foster parents are dreading the day she works out that this helps her get away with stuff.

Can usually be seen wearing fairy wings.

Likes to sit on the floor and watch the washing machine when it’s on.

#yeah apologies if this isn't the most coherent #it's late and i'm rambling #but i'm already so attached to these babies!#robron #fostering au #my writing #also i should mention i have no direct experience with fostering #or being fostered #just putting that out there incase of any inaccuracies!

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tabloidtoc · 3 years

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OK, November 23

You can buy a copy of this issue for your very own at my eBay store: https://www.ebay.com/str/bradentonbooks

Cover: Jeff Bridges opens up about the fight of his life

Page 2: Contents

Page 3: Contents

Page 4: Lori Loughlin’s life behind bars -- Lori’s been having a hard time adjusting to her new reality

Page 6: The holiday season will look a little different for Prince Harry this year -- originally the plan was for Harry to travel to England around Christmastime and Meghan Markle reluctantly agreed though she was far from happy with the idea but now with new travel restrictions in place due to Covid-19 she’s told him there’s no way they’re leaving California which is crushing for Harry who was looking forward to spending the holidays with the royals especially since he missed out last year and he’s been horribly homesick these last few months and he misses the holiday traditions he grew up with even though he loves his life in America with Meghan and son Archie

Page 7: Newly single Kelly Clarkson has been swooning over country crooner Brett Eldredge her collaborator on the flirty new Christmas tune Under the Mistletoe -- they spent lots of time together in the studio and on the phone and really bonded while they were cutting this sexy song, Brad Pitt’s most recent ex-girlfriend Nicole Poturalski has started talking to friends about what happened between them in detail and it’s an embarrassing mess for Brad who prides himself on privacy, after 16 seasons as colleagues and sparring BFFs on The Voice Adam Levine and Blake Shelton are besties no more because there was a lot of talk between them about keeping in touch and hanging out after Adam left the show but amid lingering tensions neither has made an effort and Adam may not even be invited when Blake marries Gwen Stefani

Page 8: Ever since Sofia Richie split for good from Scott Disick she’s been out every night with some really shady types to the dismay of her dad Lionel Richie who is not liking what he’s hearing about her partying and dating habits -- Sofia has already jumped into a new relationship with Cha Cha Matcha founder Matthew Morton and is hanging nonstop with his crew -- Lionel thought breaking free from Scott would mean a calmer life but it just sees like she’s gone off the rails, Betty White is already gearing up to celebrate her 99th birthday in January with a low-key yet reverent bash, she’s been linked to several Hollywood hunks of late but Lily James just wants her old beau back and she’s regretting breaking off her five-year relationship with Matt Smith -- since the split she’s been linked to Dominic West and Armie Hammer and Chris Evans and the onslaught has only made her miss Matt more -- Matt’s always had her back and Lily knows she made a mistake letting him go but Matt feels duped regarding all the rumors about her and other guys but she swears nothing happened and that she misses him

Page 10: Red Hot on the Red Carpet -- stars wow in romantic ruffled gowns -- Keke Palmer, Gwyneth Paltrow, Kirsten Dunst

Page 11: Lupita Nyong’o, Halsey

Page 12: Who Wore It Better? Renee Bargh vs. Alessandra Ambrosio

Page 14: News In Photos -- Paris Jackson posed for a portrait in Beverly Hills days before releasing her debut solo album

Page 15: Adam Brody with his newborn son in Malibu, pregnant Jinger Duggar stepped out in Venice with husband Jeremy Vuolo and their daughter Felicity for lunch, Lady Gaga on stage at a drive-in concert in Pittsburgh

Page 16: Rebecca Romijn and Jerry O’Connell headed out for brunch with one of their twin daughters in Encino, Camila Cabello held on tight to one of her three pups while chasing another one who escaped from his leash in Miami, Pierce Brosnan playing golf in Hawaii

Page 18: DJ Diplo took a dip in the ocean in Miami, John Legend took his Ford Mustang out for a spin with wife Chrissy Teigen and one of their dogs in Beverly Hills

Page 19: Bella Thorne and boyfriend Benjamin Mascolo in Rome, Scott Disick was Ace Ventura for Halloween in L.A.

Page 20: Ruff Life -- stars show love for their canine companions -- Ariel Winter and her latest rescue Cobey, Jamie Chung and her dog, soccer star Alex Morgan with her dogs Kona and Blue

Page 21: Nev Schulman cuddled up with Dancing With the Stars partner Jenna Johnson’s dog Ziggy, PLEASE ADOPT, DON’T SHOP

Page 22: Shawn Mendes on a walk in Miami, Kate Mara stopped by Target with her daughter, Ellen DeGeneres dressed up as a nurse who is her favorite superhero

Page 24: Skai Jackson headed to rehearsals for Dancing With the Stars, Elizabeth Lyn Vargas of Real Housewives of Orange County gave a tour of her home, Joe Jonas strolling daughter Willa around the neighborhood

Page 25: Thomas Brodie-Sangster attended the premiere of Stardust a biopic about David Bowie in London, Donnie Wahlberg and Steve Schirripa filmed a scene for Blue Bloods in Brooklyn

Page 26: Taking over duties from Prince Harry his stepmother Duchess Camilla arrived at the Field of Remembrance to commemorate those who lost their lives in the armed forces in London, Amber Heard enjoyed a hike with her dog in L.A., Renee Elisa Goldsberry and Sara Bareilles and Paula Pell and Busy Philipps filmed a scene for Tina Fey’s upcoming series Girls5Eva in NYC

Page 27: Offset delivered free food to voters waiting in line on Election Day, Ciara in Seattle

Page 28: Ryan Gosling and Eva Mendes have finally become husband and wife in a low-key ceremony in the backyard of their L.A. home with just a handful of family and close friends like Steve Carell and Emma Stone were in attendance -- Ryan wore jeans with a button-down shirt while Eva wore a red dress from her own collection -- now that the party’s over Eva and Ryan have been talking about having a third child

Page 29: Reality hit Love Is Blind hooked viewers with its OMG premise but the show’s married cohosts Nick Lachey and Vanessa Lachey were decidedly less riveting and their presenting style was laughably wooden and stiff and while the duo is slated to return for the show’s second season Nick and Vanessa have been put on notice to spice it up, Tori Spelling is freaking out at the prospect of her husband Dean McDermott spending six months alone in Toronto which is the same town where he cheated on her seven years ago -- Dean has signed on to star in Canadian TV show Lady Dicks and while Tori should be thrilled that that he’ll be bringing in some income for their often-struggling family of seven she is preparing for the worst

Page 30: While it appears Nina Dobrev and Shaun White have spent 2020 in hardcore flirt mode Nina’s friends have cautioned that this is a dead-end romance because Shaun shows up and posts pictures of them on social media but the fact is they’ve barely spent any time together and they hook up and then he goes back to his own place -- Shaun rarely invites Nina to either of his two Hollywood Hills pads and is proving his flaky reputation is legit, things are looking up for parents-to-be Kit Harington and Rose Leslie after a rocky start to their marriage the two are finally in a happy place -- Kit has stopped boozing and this baby has put a fire under him to be more accommodating and besides helping update and baby-proof the couple’s 15th century countryside manor Kit’s been more attentive to Rose in every way, Love Bites -- Erika Jayne and Tom Girardi split, Maya Erskine and Michael Angarano are engaged and expecting, Ashlee Simpson welcomed her second child with husband Evan Ross

Page 32: Cover Story -- Jeff Bridges: I’m not giving up -- how the beloved star is coping during his brave health battle

Page 36: Katherine Heigl why she disappeared -- the reason Katherine walked away from the spotlight ad how she found her way back

Page 38: Home Alone turns 30 -- in honor of the holiday classic’s milestone anniversary secrets and trivia about the movie and its stars

Page 40: Feel the Burn -- fitness fanatic Morgan Coleman is here to take your home workout up a notch

Page 42: Healthy Holidays -- how stars stay fit and feeling their best during the festive season

Page 46: Style Week -- Olivia Culpo has teamed up with her siblings on an exclusive collection for Macy’s

Page 48: What’s Hot Right Now -- Madewell wants you to Make Weekends Longer with its new sustainable MWL collection

Page 49: Steal Her Style -- Drew Barrymore

Page 50: Dress the Halls -- festive pieces to rock through the holidays even if you’re celebrating at home -- AnnaSophia Robb

Page 54: Entertainment

Page 55: Q&A -- Jake Tyson

Page 58: Buzz -- Just weeks after Kim Kardashian West was slammed over her 40th birthday bash Kendall Jenner received similar criticism for throwing a jam-packed soiree for her 25th birthday

Page 60: Sound Bites -- Cameron Diaz on having a baby at 47, Conan O’Brien on the props that were stolen from his late-night set, Sacha Baron Cohen joking that he and his wife Isla Fisher are not A-listers, Anne Hathaway on the embarrassing ways she handled the lockdown

Page 61: Florence Pugh on her close relationship with her Black Widow costar Scarlett Johansson, Christine Quinn on not being bothered by negative comments, Chelsea Handler on crushing on New York governor Andrew Cuomo

Page 62: Horoscope -- Lisa Bonet turned 53 on November 16

Page 64: By the Numbers -- Colin Jost

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imaginekpoplikethis · 7 years

Text

‘Bestfriend’ - Kim Seokjin X Reader

I don’t know how many people read these notes but oh well.

So… I know loads of people are waiting for 7 Years but I really needed to get this out. This is a true story (lol mine) and everything stated in it happened literally last week. Well, everything up until reader starts hanging out with Jin (because i’m not that lucky). I decided to post it because It’s been finished for more than a week and I’ve been so busy with school and I didn’t want to leave you guys with nothing for this week. The next part to 7 years will definitely be out later today or tomorrow.

I legit don’t know what to do with my friend right now, I feel betrayed but I’m not petty (or confident) enough to confront her. (I’m secretly happy when something is wrong with their relationship because I’m a silent but deadly bitch. Kind of like silent farts.)

Anyway, thanks for reading. <3

It had taken you exactly 3 days to admit you had a crush on a boy. It had taken 2 seconds for your best friend, Eun-ha to approve of the relationship, claiming you were her ‘OTP’.

Dong-Woo wasn’t just any boy, at least not to you. You had been placed next to him in the seating arrangement at the beginning of the school year and had at first ignored him. However, he had easily broke through the wall you had placed around yourself, with his charming humour and soon enough you had become friends. You shared the same music, game and movie taste. It all seemed unreal if you were being honest because how can two people have so many common interests?

Your friendship had progressed with each week until suddenly his comments began to do more than make you laugh. Butterflies flooded your stomach and no matter what he said it never failed to bring a smile to your face. You hated it at first and had been in denial.

That’s when Eun-ha had come in. She took notice of your exchanges and your reactions and had enthusiastically told you she envied your friendship. She pestered you about your feelings for 3 days and you opened up, not being able to take her nonstop questioning.

Soon enough all of your friends had found out about your feelings and had taken it upon themselves to comment on how much of a cute couple you and Dong-Woo would make.

Your interactions with him seemed to get deeper and you felt as if maybe, just maybe, he felt the same spark you did.

Then out of nowhere, you began to grow distant. You weren’t sure how or why but your conversations grew shorter along with the amount of times you saw each other a week until a time came where you didn’t speak at all. You were hurt to say the least and you ignored the rumour being spoken about him.

However, Your friends had heard the rumour and they were evidently worried about you. They had told you he had played with another girls feelings and you, in return, told them that you had gotten over him. That there were no lingering feelings. The doubtful look in their eyes was enough to let you know that they didn’t believe you.

To be honest, you didn’t believe yourself either.

Then came a time where he was added to a group chat you were in. You didn’t know if you should feel excited or annoyed so you stuck with in between. You occasionally spoke to him, your friends joining in and you were reminded of how things used to be.

That is until Eun-ha messaged you to let you know he had been private messaging her. You didn’t think much of it, it’s not like they had even held a conversation let alone hung out together. When she had shown you the type of messages he had been sending, you brushed it off, telling her he was probably speaking to other girls too. That didn’t stop the little pangs in your heart that came with every time he sent her a kiss.

The painful throbbing didn’t stop there. He began to boast about an amazing girl who seemed like the perfect one for him on the chat and you hid your true feelings behind 'lols’ and sarcastic comments.

A day came when he private messaged you. You remember how your heart had skipped a beat at the sight of his name at the top of your screen. Upon opening the message, your heart dropped to the pit of your stomach.

'Hey, if you’re not still going to meet Eun-ha, I could go instead. I kind of want to see her today…’

A frown graced your face and annoyance settled within you. Why was he so obsessed with her? They’ve literally been speaking for 4 days. You sighed, deciding to give him a blunt reply.

'I’m still going.’

His answer was immediate.

'Oh okay, well where does she live because I’m in the area and I’m not familiar with it.’

That’s right, he lives about an hour and a half away. All this just to see Eun-ha. Instead of dwelling in your thoughts, you gave him directions on how to get to her house.

Looks like you’d be seeing Dong-Woo today.

Dong-Woo arrived at Eun-ha’s house half an hour after you. At first, the familiar casual conversation sparked up between you two but as soon as Eun-ha was in sight his face brightened. Soon enough, you were forgotten and laughter filled the room as Dong-Woo cracked jokes with her.

You decided to go home early.

The next day you were shocked to discover that Dong-Woo had ended up staying the night. When your friends had questioned Eun-ha on her feelings for him, her response was that 'she didn’t like him like that and would never do that to Y/N.’

Then came the party. She had organised a little gathering with your group, Dong-Woo and one of her new friends who went by the name Seokjin. As the night progressed, you spent your time getting to know Seokjin or, as he preferred to be called, Jin.

Drinks were soon brought out and slowly, people began to get drunk. You blamed the alcohol for the public displays of affection Eun-ha and Dong-Woo were sharing, even though you knew better. You decided to retreat to the kitchen with Jin.

“So… what do you think of Dong-Woo?” Your head snapped up at the mention of his name only to find Jin staring back at you expectantly. You let out a small smile and rested your cheek on your palm.

“He’s obsessed with her. It’s obvious. I wouldn’t care if it wasn’t for the fact I liked him.” Jin nodded and silently sighed to himself.

“I don’t think it’s right for people who only began talking a couple of days ago to be that touchy. Especially since he threw away his friendship with her ex just to be with her. But that might be just me overthinking things.” You shook your head and sipped your lemonade before responding.

“No, I agree but there’s not much we can do about it now.” He took a bite out of his slice of pizza before slowly nodding.

Towards the end of the night, your group had somehow managed to end up in the park next door. As usual Dong-Woo and Eun-ha were all over each other and you stuck by Jin making light conversation. It was when they had both retreated to the side of the park alone that you decided that the best option would be to leave with Jin but as you parted ways with him you felt a lingering sense of guilt for leaving your other friend drunk.

Upon returning you were greeted with the sight of Dong-Woo and Eun-ha passionately kissing. You weren’t sure whether you regretted coming back but you focused on getting your friend home.

When you had made it back home the first person you spoke to was Jin. He seemed as surprised as you were and you were glad to know someone felt the same way. Seeking comfort you spent the rest of the evening speaking to him.

Waking up the next morning, you were greeted with the news that Eun-ha was officially dating Dong-Woo. Crying was what any other person would do but you realised that you didn’t feel anything. Not hurt nor happy.

“I must be a cold-hearted bitch to not feel anything.” That’s what you told yourself and although you truly did not know how you felt, you found that they both occupied your thoughts almost every minute of every day.

As the weeks had come and gone, you found yourself talking to Jin more and more until you had started hanging out on a weekly basis.

“Wait! So you were serious about liking Dong-Woo first? I thought that was a joke.” You chuckled at his cluelessness. “Yep, I was deadly serious.” He stared at you wide eyed as if you had done something he had never seen before.

“And you just let the relationship go on? That’s admirable.” You covered your face with your hands, suddenly embarrassed.

“But not as admirable as me, Kim Seokjin.” You burst into another fit of laughter at his confidence. “If only I had your confidence.”

You felt a burning gaze on you and when you turned to look at him, you found him already staring intensely.

“You should. You’re a really beautiful person. Not as much as me, obviously, but almost on par.”

You smiled at his words because you knew that was probably the biggest compliment he had ever given in his life. “Wow, if I didn’t know any better I’d think your trying to tell me something Jin.”

He took a bite out of his third bowl of noodles, slurping them into his mouth and chewing, mumbling something with his mouth full.

“Sorry, what was that?”

“Maybe I am.”

For the first time in possibly 3 months, the familiar feeling of butterflies returned and you felt your cheeks grow warm.

“Tell me then…” As the words left you, he let grin slowly spread on his face.

“Maybe another day.” He placed a hand to his lips and blew his signature flying kiss towards you, a giggle escaping your lips.

“Okay, another day.”

You were fine with that.

lol.

#bts kim seokjin #bts fanfic #bts scenarios #bts imagines #kim seokjin #kim seokjin x reader #seokjin x reader #seokjin x you #jin x reader #jin x you #seokjin scenarios #seokjin imagine #seokjin fanfic #jin fanfic #jin imagine #jin scenarios

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hopeless-creatures-in-hiding · 7 years

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Sad Love

I thought I didn't care.. and that I could sit here and say you know what fuck this.. but I can't. I've been avoiding being alone and now that I am.. all I want to do is cry.. not only over the fact that I lost you but.. that I'm still hurt as to what happened. And you probably haven't even had a second thought about it 😔because I know I'm not important. I know I'm not someone that anyone ever really falls in love with. I'm just the girl who comes in to people's lives after they've been hurt so badly and I give them as much love as I can like a stupid clueless wreck before they leave me to find what what they really want. Ive only ever fallen in love twice.. and that's twice too many. But the last one wasn't like the other.. it meant more than the world to me. He was my world.. wow don't I sound like an idiot already. But since the day I met him there was something special. I met him once and was able to remember that whole maybe.. 20 minutes of my life from 3 or 4 years ago. Isn't that crazy? I mean I can barley remember people or conversations I have within a week.. and then when I picked him up in my car 3 or 4 years later as a favor to my ex I couldn't stop looking in my mirror smiling thinking how adorable he was.. and how familiar he looked. I even got out of my car to hug this complete stranger before he left. But let me tell you that hug was one of the best ones I've ever had.. didn't wanna let go haha. No matter how much of a mess he was, I mean.. he was homeless at the time, I couldn't stop thinking about him and just kept smiling. Time passed and he added me on Facebook. And I look at all his pictures because not only I wanted to see if it was that guy from that night but maybe to see why he looked so familiar!! I liked some type of tbh and he texted me apologizing for that night. One thing tolled to another and I was talking to the sweetest guy I had ever met. We related to each other so much and he was so funny! Gosh we talked for days non stop and I looked forward to seeing him pop up on my phone every morning ☺️ Then I remembered everything about how we met years ago and we freaked out about how crazy that was and how time just brings people together no matter where they go. Eventually we had our first date at 6 flags. I brought one of my best friends because I was so nervous. She was supposed to have a guy there too but he never showed so she became a huge support system. I was so scared to really go out with him I mean... he was so perfect.. I didn't think there was a chance he'd like me after this. I forced her to sit in the front of my car because I was actually so nervous I couldn't even sit next to him! Throughout the night I was a shy mess. But he thought it was cute... he loved my mess. He treated me like a princess that night I swear. We even named the little Batman we won Edgar like Edgar Allan Poe because he's our favorite poet. Anyway one day we were getting a cake together for a baby shower and he saw me awkwardly order it and again be a mess... he just kept smiling and kissed me so much. He always made me feel so much better about messing up. That day he bought me a little mouse we named Fernando. When I drove him home that night he asked me to be his in the cutest way using Fernando. I couldn't have asked for better. From there we went on adorable messes of dates like driving around and wound up doing absolutely nothing but talking or running errands, going to the mall, sitting on the beach in the middle of the night in the freezing cold and running back to the car to get knocked on the window by the police while my mom was on the phone. Even playing pool and going to a job interview together. Can't believe we both got the job and never actually went through with it haha. That road trip was fun though. Me freaking out on the parkway and you laughing at me and us blasting music singing our hearts out and you practically stripping down to nothing because of that game we played 😂 But then the fights started.. the lies that I found out later that hurt me more than anything. Then the phone calls where you'd have me crying and would laugh on the other end. Never apologizing like you didn't care. But I loved and forgave you for everything and gave you endless chances. You'd talk about your ex's non stop. Once for over an hour and I listened to every word because though it hurt me it made you happy.. and I'd rather you be happy. Plus I get to know you more. Then you started disappearing.. forgetting to tell me when you went out. It hurt because I started to get scared and you knew that. Eventually you started to annoyed at me.. said some mean things to me. I eventually left because it was starting to effect me so badly. I was constantly worried. My anxiety was through the roof. Especially when one of your ex's came back in to the picture.. i understood your history but you also wouldn't tell me when you were going to hang out with her and told me after. You'd always tell me after you did things so I couldn't say anything before hand .... when I left you I constantly missed you even if you hurt me. That's what love does I guess.. but then you said all those things in my car after we broke up. You had me crying and you kept pushing me and saying the worst things you could. I had a panic attack as soon as you got in to work in the parking lot. I was there for an hour my two friends had to come to help me breathe because I was so scared. I kept repeating it was all my fault.. From there we kept in touch here and there.. I still worried. Though you moved in. People lied because they knew I still cared about you and the things they said would hurt me. You said you loved me again and I was the happiest girl in the world... but I wasn't sure if you meant it or if it was an accident.. even though you kept reassuring me. Then after my grandmother passed you spent the night after taking care of me and supporting me through the whole thing. That whole night was perfect in itself with you.. the dinner I cooked, dancing, our attempt to make popcorn, the shower fail where I caught you sitting on the floor outside my door listening to me singing, cuddling up watching movies.. nonstop laughing and smiling, the tickle fights, then just.. falling asleep in each other's arms, the car ride in the morning before school ☺️ that night I couldn't see myself with anyone else. You were someone I'd love to wake up every morning to.. From then on we got closer... you still disappeared sometimes but never for long. I wouldn't mind as much. We spent more time together. Got pizza, played video games, and we drove around when I had time or drove you to work. Then you came to my play. You were so proud of me and you made me feel so special!!! Then that night because semi official again. But we were still going slow so we weren't completely a couple. From there things got worse and worse. You'd stop replying. The first time you called and apologized and made me smile. Then the amount of time you stopped talking to me got longer and longer... we made plans for me to drive you to work. I bought you a huge burrito and made you tea but you walked without even telling me... everything was fine for a while. Bought you a little Olaf and KitKats to cheer you up and drove you to work. We had such a good time. Then the day after you didn't speak to me but you posted things on Facebook and Snapchat all day. I felt like you didn't want to speak to me.. then in the morning you reposted something from my wall.. my overthinking got the best of me and I asked you about it and I think you got a little annoyed at me. You told me what was going on and I understood like always. We were suppose to hang out that night and I was so excited.. I got ready and you never texted me back. I swore I thought I saw you in this blue car with two girls that day but I told myself that's stupid. I never asked you about it. you ignored me.. again pretty much all weekend until we fought Sunday night. I was nonstop worrying about you and you told me not to... you told me I was flirting with someone else and you were so mad... I wanted to cry so bad because it's like you didn't trust me when I never had anything to hide from you. I never did anything bad to you to betray your trust. And he was my best friend that commented on a few pictures to just make me feel a little better because of how you've been treating me. Yet when you say that everything is amazing and you love everything about another girl with heart eyes I shouldn't react. Or when you say that your ex who isn't in your life anymore is your favorite person... that didn't hurt me right. All the other things you've been and have done to me didn't hurt me at all. Or that you're gonna get some girl to realize how amazing she is. No. But here I am. I feel like I'm not doing enough. I felt like I didn't mean anything to you anymore. That you didn't want to see me. I felt like you didn't care to have me in your life anymore.... and well I still didn't want to leave. How sad is that. Willing to do anything for someone who was willing to do anything and everything for everyone else except me... you'd do a favor for or hang out with your ex and her friend as soon as they ask but if I asked to see you you'd ignore me or say you couldn't. I feel ... like crap now. Like I was a joke.. so funny right? :( I was so mad and hurt. Then just.. so sad but. What are you gonna do when you're unwanted. I'm done begging. 😔 I wish you could see this but you never will. Maybe it's best you don't. Nothing would change anyway. There's so much I couldn't even write it all either. Our love story has definitely been the craziest and most meaningful and memorable but.. I guess all the best stories have to come to an end.. otherwise they wouldn't be the best right?

#personal rant #love story #sad

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prismaticforest · 7 years

Text

A little introspective post about love.

I was thinking today that I am totally obsessed with love. Even in my most darkest and depressed of states, it always feels better to love than to hate someone.

I've been angry and hurt to the point that I don't ever want to see/speak to this person again, only to sometimes find myself bringing them back in. Not in the harmful kind of way where it's someone who is better off not in my life, but more the lighter, petty things that sometimes keep us apart. It always felt better when we've worked things out and I can embrace them, then to hold onto those ill-feelings and a past hurt that otherwise kept us from growing into anything.

I think the biggest issue for me is me is definitely my self-confidence. I'm often afraid that people don't really like me or care for me, and if I care for them too much I wind up feeling like a fool or get taken advantage of. I end up pushing people away and skip out on making time or attending any events with them.

My biggest problem of course, comes in the form of relationships. I have a hard enough time relating to other people in general, so anything romantic is extremely complicated.

I was talking to my brother the other day about the complexities of male/female differences when it comes to hetero relationships. We have our own brains and it's almost always one-sided. I'd say the majority of men feel women are the cause of many of their problems, whereas the majority of women feel men are the cause of their problems.

It's unfortunate really.

Although, I do find that most men generally are more loyal in the idea that they have a sort of code that's internal. What I mean by that is, they seem to have better rapport with one another than women.

Most men I know have either maintained long-term friendships with other guys they've grown up with, or wind up finding a 'constant' friend some point in life.

Most women I know cannot say the same. I don't know what it is with us girls, but we have a hard time getting along with each other period. Most girls I know are quoted as saying "I don't normally get along with other girls, I prefer having guys for friends."

But there are guys who do much better with girls, too. Of my brother's 3 best friends, only one of them is male, and the other two female.

My brother often says the hard part about guy friendships is the pressure of the ego, and in our society, it's the whole masculinity complex. My brother's always been more sensitive and intellectual, book-smart and socially awkward. His whole life guys have picked on him and pushed him around, but my brother has seen right through them. There's only been a few in his life that have gotten to know him and found him to be a good person.

I'm familiar with the ego myself, and have been the victim of many poorly-constructed pick up lines, sexual innuendos, and how-to-get-laid traps. I know that it is just normal instinct of a human being to seek out physical contact and intimacy, but for myself, it's always held a much deeper meaning and the desire is lacking without knowing the person on a certain level.

To each their own, honestly, it doesn't bother me what people do. Just don't get angry with me when I don't behave the way you want me to. That's been another downside to this whole trying to navigate the romantic world. I've always attracted certain types.

I wanted to list them here. (Please note: this is NOT in any way, me hating on men. OK? This is me describing the few types of people I've come into contact with and I seem to regularly attract.)

1.) Arrogant, cynical, selfish type. This kind of guy thinks he's special because he thinks outside of the box and is "in-the-know" of all the dark secret workings of the world, and is a social outcast because nobody understands how great he is and it's their fault for it. All of his problems are the world's fault, and he's the victim. He's very controlling and aggressive, having to prove his dominance over others and his girl. He will talk down to me like : "Oh sweetie, you're so cute, you don't know that. I will have to show you how." Or "Oh that's adorable, but you're wrong, and let me tell you why".

I think this type is attracted to me because I am a submissive personality, not to the point of brainless follower or never speaking up for myself, but I do have a hard time saying no, and I'm always trying to consider everyone and make people happy. I have that people-pleaser side and these types seem to seek me out because they feel I'm easy to manipulate and do what they want. Sadly, at one point in my life I was in a relationship with one such a this, for months. I don't know why it took me so long to realize he was mentally abusing me.

2.) Sensitive, immature, seeking a mom to love them type. These guys I feel sorry for, they're not necessarily bad, and I am drawn to those who are inward and sensitive toward others. I'm not using sensitive negatively here, just that...they're not quite at a mature enough level. They also get easily hurt and are very clingy, and need you to take care of them. Like you basically become their mother in a sense, and I just don't want to be my partner's mother, it's very creepy.

My friends have said I have a very maternal way about me, and my friend's children often cling to me. That's fine. But not for my boyfriend. And unfortunately these guys seem to flock to me. Yes, I have dated a guy four years younger then me.

He was very considerate and I'd just gotten away from my type 1, so it was a refreshing change. Then it got weird. His mother called me a week into it, and was in tears saying how happy she was that I was in her son's life and that for a fact she was eight years older than her husband, and there was nothing to worry about the age difference. I felt weird enough since her son was nineteen and I never dated anyone younger in the first place.

We'd get into these ridiculous 'fights' and I never even knew they were fights, until he'd call me and say "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to say what I did. I hope you were OK. I get so mad sometimes, but I really need you in my life." and I'd be over here like uhh what? when did we fight?

We’d be kissing and cuddling on the couch and he’d suddenly start crying and hug me close, saying I was the best thing that ever happened to him and he wouldn’t know what to do if I ever left him (awkward pressure) and I’d have to stroke his hair and “shhh” him to calm him down. It’d kill the mood and I’d feel totally guilty for not returning those strong feelings.

Then he started talking about our future, our section 8 future where we'd live on government money and I would work and come home and make him dinner and we would cuddle and play video games. He never finished high school (dropped out at sixteen) and did not intend on graduating or working, ever. He wanted to enjoy life.

Meanwhile I'm just thinking this is a casual thing and I'm not even entirely sure I like him.

It was REALLY hard breaking it off with him too. He called me nonstop, crying and whining, begging and then getting angry. I had to turn off my phone. The next day I had like 82 missed calls. I talked to him only one other time, and he tried to guilt me by saying he started smoking again but he “gets why” I broke it off, because he was “so mean” to me. He didn’t get it, so I changed my number and that was that.

Years later he sent me a message on facebook trying to say he’d changed and met someone new, only to close his message begging me to talk to him again asking why we couldn’t just be friends, and that he was sorry for how he treated me back then. I still don’t get what he mean, but I suppose he blames himself. I never responded.

I learned then that I can’t have anything casual if the guy starts displaying signs of super-attachment, I need to cut that shit off RIGHT away. I admit part of me was using him, he made me feel loved and safe, like this was an innocent teenage romance (I didn’t get to experience one because I never dated as a teen).

No, as a teenager I was incredibly awkward and insecure and terrified of the opposite sex. I dressed really plain, in baggy clothes and I never did anything with my hair and when I did start wearing makeup I had no clue how to wear it, so I looked TERRIBLE (hello raccoon eyes and smudged lipstick). I had a crush on my best friend’s older brother, but there were NO secrets in that house. I made the mistake of telling my friend, and of course not only did he find out, but so did the rest of the family. He had the manipulative thing going for him to the point he was taking advantage of his parents.

He was a Type 1, my first experience with this kind. He was incredibly smart in school but also struggled with huge self esteem issues and suicide attempts so he dropped out. He didn’t get along with his dad, didn’t respect his mom, and talked down to everyone like he was so much better than everybody else. Yet I was dumb and naive and thought he was “so cool” and “misunderstood”. He was my struggling outsider I thought I could fix (we all get one, but if we get more we obviously haven’t learned our lesson).

Anyway, he took advantage of my feelings because he was lonely. He’d pull me way from his sister and we’d hang out. We’d have these “deep talks” in his room or in the car. We never kissed. He’d hold my hand or hug me or brush my hair back, but that was about it. We want on this unofficial double date with his sister and her first boyfriend, and saw this ridiculous movie. We then went to her boyfriend’s house after, played video games and broke off from the two to give them some alone time. I went for a walk with him and he held my hand, but I guess we were out there for a while because his dad drove up and we were getting picked up to go home.

Anyway, he started seeing another girl. She was petite and cute and to my surprise, fourteen. An eighth grader. He was a junior in high school. I was pissed. My first experience of being ‘dumped’ for a younger girl, and I was still a teenager.She wasn’t that pretty, she had sunken in cheeks and furry brows and other guys said she kind of looked like a guy. It’s not nice I know, but in the moment I was so shocked...like how terribly unattractive or undesirable I must be if he wanted her more.

It was for the best, he pressured her into having sex a few months into the relationship and I heard they later broke up while she was in high school because he got aggressive and tried choking her. It just sucked at the time having to be around them whenever I was with my friend, and my friend had even stirred up drama by using something I said to her and his best friend about the new girlfriend. It was bad to the point that HE got pissed at me and I couldn’t come over, and his girlfriend apparently cried because of something I’d said. I also had the unfortunate fate of crushing on his best friend, who became my friend while we were both hating the new girlfriend.

Of course my best friend told him, I don’t know WHY I continued to trust her with her big mouth. He then texted me telling me he didn’t date ugly girls, and I was crushed. He was a jerk, and he hid our friendship at school. One time after school I didn’t have a ride, and he offered to pick me up...which I was thrilled, but he wanted me to walk across the street and pick me up at the shopping center because he didn’t want anyone he knew to see. By this point I just accepted it, and figured this was better than nothing.

I didn’t get much luckier after high school either. I started college right after, and I met this older guy in my math class. He was so handsome, and he noticed me right away. (I had this transformation senior year, I learned how to do my hair and makeup and started buying nicer, girly clothes that flattered my figure and this carried into college). He seemed nice and sat with me and we shared our notes and helped each other with our homework. He’d wait for me before class and we’d walk in together, and he’d walk me to the parking lot after. He used to invite me to parties but I wouldn’t go because I was too afraid, too shy.

Anyway, after the class was done he revealed he had a girlfriend. He acted like all of the flirting and compliments were nothing, and it’d been fun and he was done. Thank god nothing ever really happened, or it’d probably have been a lot worse. Still it sucked....I remember crying on the drive home that day.

It was really hard for me to trust anyone, and my self-esteem had been virtually crushed by these guys. So by the time I agreed to go out with my Type 2, it was the FIRST time I’d been with anyone who was genuinely NICE to me. I just needed something simple and sweet, without the pressure to be something more.

But that got weird fast and well, it’s been irregular and unfortunate since.

Anyway, this is why I don’t really put myself out there anymore. It’s frustrating and often a blow to my self esteem more often than not.

Yet I still remain hopeful that it could change...one day.

The sweetest relationship I’d ever had, was with a friend. I wrote about him all over this blog...he was so beautiful, inside and out. A brilliant mind, a fiery spirit, my shining star. We fell for each other but we’re star crossed, impossible. He moved back home to England and I just know I’ll never get there. We continued writing but...as he said, words are all he can ever give me.

We were in regular contact for 2 years, but lost touch. Our last message was in 2014. Then, surprisingly out of the blue he sent me a message in April of 2016, stating he couldn’t bring himself to forget me, despite how hard he tried. He was wishing me and my family well, and that he often thinks of me and prays that I am safe...and he also stated he has yet to read my last message to him, couldn’t bring himself to do it, but keeps it with him everywhere. He finishes in saying my prayers must have something in them, as he’s passed a barrier he never thought possible in his life. Selfishly my first thought is he’s found someone else, found a way to make it happen for him. Sad, right? It’s been almost a year since then.

It’s pretty much my cue to move on, and yet I cling to this because it’s all I have. My busted heart...

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OK, October 12

You can buy a copy of this issue for your very own at my eBay store: https://www.ebay.com/str/bradentonbooks

Cover: Meg Ryan’s new life revealed

Page 1: Big Pic -- Katie Holmes and Emilio Vitolo Jr. holding hands and wearing masks in NYC

Page 2: Contents

Page 3: Contents

Page 4: Halle Berry happiness at last -- after years of heartbreak Halle has finally found true love with Van Hunt

Page 6: Tim McGraw and Faith Hill’s private world -- they’ve got successful careers and a solid marriage but the thing they’re most proud of is the beautiful life they’ve built together and family is everything to them

Page 7: Jessica Simpson swore off reality TV after her show Newlyweds led to her split from ex-husband Nick Lachey in 2005 but she finds she misses working in front of the camera and after multiple offers to do a reality show with husband Eric Johnson and kids Maxwell and Ace and Birdie including one from Ryan Seacrest she’s seriously considering it except Eric thinks it’s the worst idea, Taylor Swift is itching to get her girl gang back together after taking a break from throwing A-list bashes and while she has been loving life in Nashville with fiance Joe Alwyn she feels like she’s neglected other important people in her life and to make amends she’s already making plans to gather girl squad members Gigi Hadid and Blake Lively and Martha Hunt and Katy Perry at her Rhode Island beachfront mansion, Madonna is ready to spill all and her exes better watch out because she is gearing up to direct a movie which she’s cowriting based on her storied life including her romances with Warren Beatty and ex-husbands Sean Penn and Guy Ritchie and baby daddy Carlos Leon who are all reportedly unnerved by the project and she’s getting a savage pleasure knowing her famous exes are nervous

Page 8: Nikki and Brie Bella were known for their sculpted physiques in the WWE ring and since welcoming baby boys this summer they’re eager to get back into fighting shape by doing Zoom workouts together including Pilates and yoga and giving each other daily pep talks, Kourtney Kardashian has a new crush and has been hanging non-stop with 19-year-old TikTok sensation Addison Rae because she finds Addison incredibly refreshing and fun but Kourt’s obsession with Addison who is 22 years her junior has been raising eyebrows -- Kim Kardashian and Khloe Kardashian are trying to be cool about it but they find it a little creepy how Kourt hangs on this girl’s every word, Lori Loughlin was sentenced to two months in federal prison for paying bribes to get her two daughters into college and she wants a seriously cushy stay behind bars because she figures that with her fame level and wealth and influence there’s no reason why she can’t have many of the perks she’s used to including an air-conditioned cell and cable TV and gourmet food and yoga and Pilates classes and even her own private security guard but especially time off for good behavior

Page 10: Red Hot on the Red Carpet -- stars look dreamy in Oscar de la Renta -- Evan Rachel Wood, Kiki Layne, Scarlett Johansson

Page 11: Regina King, Nicky Hilton Rothschild, Daisy Ridley

Page 12: Who Wore It Better? Rachel Zoe vs. Molly Sims, Jamie Chung vs. Skyler Samuels

Page 13: Cara Santana vs. Kristen Taekman

Page 14: News in Photos -- Johnny Depp looked relaxed and happy at the 68th San Sebastian International Film Festival for his new documentary Crock of Gold

Page 16: The cast of Schitt’s Creek Eugene Levy and Catherine O’Hara and Daniel Levy and Annie Murphy, Olivia Culpo was joined by her dog Oliver during a day of shopping in West Hollywood, Miley Cyrus closing out the iHeartRadio Music Festival

Page 17: Jessie James Decker running errands in Nashville, John Leguizamo playing chess in Washington Square Park, Eva Longoria urged Latinos to get out and vote at a campaign event for Joe Biden and Kamala Harris

Page 18: Kaley Cuoco filming a scene for her show The Flight Attendant, Ian Somerhalder kissed the grass at the premiere of his new documentary Kiss the Ground

Page 20: Drew Barrymore lit up the Empire State Building yellow to celebrate the premiere of her daytime talk show, Olivia Wilde and fiance Jason Sudeikis play soccer at the beach in Malibu

Page 21: Tiger Woods ahead of the U.S. Open

Page 22: David Harbor grabbed a bite to eat solo in New York City, Jesse Metcalfe on his motorcycle, Paris Jackson showed support for longtime family friend Paris Hilton during a screening of her documentary

Page 23: Hailey Bieber on a pool floatie, Josephine Skriver filming a Maybelline commercial in New York City

Page 24: Janelle Monae at the premiere of her new film Antebellum, John Legend made a grocery run in Los Angeles

Page 25: Patrick Mahomes of the Kansas City Chiefs and former football pro Troy Polamalu shoot a Head & Shoulders commercial, Duchess Kate Middleton and Prince William made their first joint engagement after their summer break visiting a job center, Jennifer Garner picked up a bouquet of flowers while out and about in L.A.

Page 26: Inside My Home -- Mariah Carey spent lockdown in a luxury estate in Bedford Corners, N.Y.

Page 28: Drew Barrymore swore off men after her third divorce in 2016 but she’s had a change of heart because she’s been talking to Tom Cruise a lot during lockdown and now they’re on the verge of a full-blown romance

Page 30: It’s been a little over a month since Scott Disick and Sofia Richie pulled the plug on their romance but the pair are still hooking up on the DL which suits them both because Sofia is still attracted to Scott but she wanted freedom to date other people and the two of them have this warped attraction that they can’t find elsewhere, Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell have spent 37 blissful years together but after six months of quarantining together they’ve hit a serious rough patch bickering nonstop since lockdown started because they’re both independent spirits and being cooped up together day in and day out is just too close for comfort, Robert Pattinson and Suki Waterhouse are planning to tie the knot in a top-secret wedding this winter in the U.K. -- they want to have a small ceremony in London around Christmas with just family and a few close friends to toast with -- the two feel they are soulmates and feel it’s time to get married and settle down and maybe even start a family in the next couple of years

Page 32: Cover Story -- Meg Ryan back and better than ever -- after taking a breather from Hollywood the new and improved actress is ready for her big comeback

Page 36: Priscilla Presley putting family first -- how she is helping her daughter Lisa Marie Presley and grandchildren pick up the pieces after a tragic loss

Page 38: Coming Clean -- stars open up about living booze-free -- Lucy Hale, Joe Manganiello, Bradley Cooper

Page 39: Brad Pitt, Miley Cyrus, Jada Pinkett Smith, Daniel Radcliffe

Page 40: Interview -- Keith Urban digs deep -- the country crooner talks about his eclectic new album and life at home with his favorite girls

Page 42: Olivia Munn 40 and fabulous -- how the stunning star stays in such great shape

Page 46: Style Week -- Kate Hudson is adding Inbloom a plant-based powdered supplement brand to her growing empire

Page 48: What’s Hot Right Now -- makeup artist Charlotte Tilbury’s new Walk of No Shame collection offers five new universally flattering ways to get a glow up -- Miranda Kerr

Page 49: Steal Her Style -- Cate Blanchett reigned supreme at the Venice Film Festival -- here’s how to wear her look for less

Page 50: Getting Organized 101 -- freshen up your space for fall with the Home Edit founders and Netflix stars Joanna Teplin and Clea Shearer sharing their top tips for how to conquer clutter

Page 52: Beauty -- Scent-sational -- time to add one of these new fragrances to your vanity

Page 54: Entertainment

Page 55: Q&A with Troy

Page 58: Buzz -- Crikey, it’s a girl! Bindi Irwin and Chandler Powell share their baby joy in a zoo-themed gender reveal

Page 60: Sound Bites --Chrissy Metz on getting ready to release her debut album at age 40, Ryan Reynolds on getting tested for COVID-19, Keke Palmer on staying true to herself, Carrie Underwood on forgetting to thank her family during an ACM Awards acceptance speech, Chrishell Stause on getting bad pick-up lines in her Instagram DMs

Page 62: Horoscope -- Libra Kate Winslet turned 45 on October 5

Page 64: By the Numbers -- Machine Gun Kelly

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