#colin jost | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

liberalsarecool · 2 days

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'We're not mad'.

#colin jost #nytimes

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waltermis · 3 days

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SHUT THE FUCK UP! I JUST DIED!

#Scarlett johansson #Colin jost #natasha romanoff #natasha romanoff x reader #Scarlett johansson x reader

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mysharona1987 · 2 days

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She quit her role as an Oxfam ambassador over this.

So, “decency”

#Colin jost #israel #free palestine #News #snl #democrats #republicans #politics #biden #oxfam #scarlett johansson #sodasyream #Bds

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natashaslesbian · 3 days

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Mine All Mine

Word Count: 1.2k

A/N• This is the cutest thing ever istg actual tears in my eyes

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You sat patiently in Colin’s lap waiting for your mommy to come home from work. Today was a shorter work day for Scarlett, a few simple reshoots was all she needed to get done. Your mama was out of the house before Colin woke you up, you hadn’t since Scarlett since you went to bed last night and you missed her so deeply. You sighed deeply “daddy Colin?” You shyly asked, “yeah sweetheart” your stepdad said “when will mommy be home?” You asked once again.

Scarlett and Colin had been married for over a year now and just recently you had started calling Colin ‘daddy Colin’. He was over the moon when you started to except him into your little family, he knew it might never happen and he promised you he would never take the place of your birth father, so you decided you wanted to call him daddy Colin so that way you had two dads. It was a big change for your little brain but Scarlett was so proud of how well you were adapting.

“She should be home any minute now” Colin said “that’s what you said last time” you whined, the seconds feeling like hours. You cuddled into Colin as you continued to focus on your favourite cartoon, fiddling with your step dads sleeve. You were starting to fight off sleep, it being close to your nap time, when finally the front door opened with a gentle click. “Mommy!” You yelled when you saw her blonde hair, leaping off Colin’s lap and running to Scarlett. “Hi baby girl!” Your mom beamed as she lifted you up into her arms, slipping off her shoes in the process.

You stayed glued to your mommy’s hip as she made her way to say hello to her husband. The two shared a sweet kiss which you were not happy about. You reached up to Colin’s face and pushed him away from Scarlett “my mommy” you said cheekily. The pair laughed at your adorable pouty face but when Scarlett tried to pass you to Colin to take a quick shower you let out a loud shriek. “No!” You yelled as you gripped onto your mom’s shirt. “Y/n that’s not very nice” Scarlett said.

Colin took a step back and your mom tried to place you back on the floor. “No mommy!” You screamed as you wrapped your arms around her neck. “I think someone just want to be with mama don’t they?” Colin cooed, his slight parental instincts kicking in. Scarlett gave in to her little girl, as usual, and swaddled you back into her arms “alright baby” she said “well mommy needs a shower so I guess you’re coming with me?” Scarlett asked. You nodded your little head and huddled your face into her neck, happy you got your way.

Scarlett had hoped that after getting you and herself all clean and cosy in some pjs for the afternoon, you would allow her some space. But as soon as your mom said she was headed to her office to complete some paperwork you were running after her down the hall. “Mommy mommy I come too!” You said happily “baby why don’t you go and see Colin, I bet if you asked nicely he’d be happy to colour with you” Scarlett said. “No mommy I come with you” you pouted with crossed arms - clearly you had spent too much time on the set off black widow.

Of course your mom gave in once again and soon enough you were crawling into her lap while she switched on her laptop. You stretched out across her legs and cuddled into her hips while she began to work but the lack of attention was not suiting you well. You grabbed onto Scarlett’s hand and pulled it into your chest, giving it a tight squeeze. “Sweetheart mama needs both hands to do her work okay” your mom said, attempting to pull her hand back. “No mama no!” You grumbled as you fought to keep a hold of her.

Assuming you were getting sleepy, Scarlett took you to your bedroom for a nap. As soon as you realised where you were going you fussed in her arms “Nuh uh I’m not tired!” You said “y/n sweetheart I need to get on with some work ok so either you have your nap or you sit with Colin until dinner time” Scarlett attempted. “But I wanna be with you mommy” you whined. Scarlett huffed in defeat, she wanted nothing more than to be with you too but she had to get her work done.

Your mom considered taking you back to Colin, but given your clinginess there was no chance you would be happy about that. “Ok baby why don’t we go to your playroom hm? You can have some play while mommy does her work” Scarlett offered. “Okay” you nodded, allowing your mama to carry you through the house. Scarlett stopped by her office to grab her laptop and then walked with you into your playroom.

You decided to play with your dolls while your mom settled on the small couch to continue her work. You were entertained for a total of three minutes before you were desperate for Scarlett’s attention again. You waddled over to your bookshelf and picked your favourite book, taking it towards your mommy. Once again you crawled into her lap and placed your book in front of her laptop screen. “Y/n” your mom said, a warning tone in her voice “please mama just one story” you begged and Scarlett sighed loudly but gave in never the less.

Colin had been reading his book in the living room for a while now, so he decided it was about time to start dinner. He scanned the cupboards and the fridge to see what he could find. When he couldn’t decide for himself he set off to find his wife for her input. He headed straight to her office, assuming that’s where she was after she had put you down for a nap, little did he know you had been attached to your mommy the whole time. After checking their bedroom and yours, Colin figured there was only one place you both could be.

Walking softly towards your playroom, your stepdad had expected your hear your giggles or any signs of playtime. When he reached the door the silence was deafening, Colin gently pushed the door open and was met with the most beautiful sight. On the small corner couch Scarlett was laid at an awkward angle, one arm wrapped tightly around you and one holding a book. Colin smiled as he crept in and picked up Scarlett’s laptop, placing gently on your small table. Grabbing a fallen pillow, Colin silently moved Scarlett’s head slotting the pillow in behind assuring she wouldn’t wake up with a stiff neck.

Your stepdad continued to scan the room for supplies and noticed a discarded blanket by your toy box, it was small but it would do. Colin took the fluffy material and gently draped it over your and your mama, tucking it under your chin. You stirred slightly and rolled into your mom’s chest, she subconsciously pulled you closer and wrapped both her arms around you tightly. A frozen Colin resumed his actions when you had both settled again, he tucked you in all snug and laid a small kiss on Scarlett’s forehead and then yours. “My beautiful girls” he whispered “sweet dreams” Colin said has he ran his fingers through your hair. Your stepdad snapped a quick photo of you both and switched off the overhead light before leaving you both to a nice nap.

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Taglist<3

@saraaahsstuff / @dannipotatoo / @tobiaslut / @a-simpfortessa-lesbriean / @marvelnatasha12346 / @yelenasdiary / @mousetheorist / @ashadash0904

#scarlett x reader #scarlett johansson #colin jost #comfort #daughter reader #marvel #black widow

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justinspoliticalcorner · 2 days

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David Smith at The Guardian:

Joe Biden has shown no mercy to Donald Trump with a series of barbed jokes about his election rival, telling a gathering of Washington’s political and media elites: “I’m a grown man running against a six-year-old.”

The White House Correspondents’ Association (WHCA) dinner on Saturday night provided the ideal platform for Biden to continue a recent run of taking the fight to Trump with more aggressive rhetoric, cutting humour and personal insults. But the jovial mood inside the room contrasted sharply with raucous demonstrations outside the Washington Hilton hotel. Hundreds of protesters shouted “Shame on you!” at White House officials, journalists and celebrities as they arrived at the dinner, condemning Biden’s handling of the war in Gaza and the media’s coverage of it. As speculation about a debate between the two men intensifies, Biden – wearing tuxedo and black tie – opened his roast with a direct but joking focus on Trump, calling him “sleepy Don”, in reference to a nickname Trump had given the president previously. “The 2024 election is in full swing and yes, age is an issue,” noted Biden, 81. “I’m a grown man running against a six-year-old.” The president also skewered Trump over a recent speech in which he described the civil war battle at Gettysburg as “interesting, “vicious”, “horrible” and “beautiful”. Biden said: “Speaking of history, did you hear what Donald just said about a major civil war battle? ‘Gettysburg – wow!’ Trump’s speech was so embarrassing, the statute of Robert E Lee surrendered again.”

Biden then made a reference to Trump’s falling out with his former vice-president, Mike Pence, who defied him over the 2020 election result. The president said: “Age is the only thing we have in common. My vice-president actually endorses me.” Vice-president Kamala Harris, sitting nearby on stage, laughed and applauded. The president moved on to Trump’s criminal trial in New York, where he is accused of falsifying business records to cover up a hush money payment to adult film performer Stormy Daniels. Biden said: “Donald has had a few tough days lately. You might call it Stormy weather.”

And then he brought up Trump’s new scheme to sell “God Bless the USA Bibles” for $59.99. “Trump’s so desperate he started reading those Bibles he’s selling. Then he got to the first commandment: ‘You shall have no other gods before me.’ That’s when he put it down and said: “This book’s not for me’.” Biden also poked fun at his own age and delivered some one-liners at the expense of the media. “Some of you complained that I don’t take enough of your questions. No comment.”

President Joe Biden delivered a masterclass at last night's WHCD, including quips about "stormy weather" in reference to Stormy Daniels and naming Donald Trump "Sleepy Don" and referring to him as a "six-year-old."

See Also:

HuffPost: 'Rise Up': Biden Issues Urgent Call On Trump Threat At White House Correspondents' Dinner

#Joe Biden #Donald Trump #WHCD #2024 WHCD #White House Correspondents Dinner #Nerd Prom #People of New York v. Trump #Stormy Daniels #Colin Jost

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lovelyy-moonlight · 3 days

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#colin jost #scarlett johansson #whca #white house correspondence association #2024 #celebrity #celebrities

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luckydiorxoxo · 3 days

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Arrivals to the 2024 White House Correspondents' Dinner

#coco rocha #molly ringwald #quest love #rufus sewell #keri russell #red carpet #white house correspondents' dinner #rachel brosnahan #Billy porter #rosario dawson #da'vine joy randolph #gayle king #jen psaki #lynda carter #karinejeanpierre #scarlett johansson #colin jost #aldis hodge #Sophia bush

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stevenrogered · 1 year

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Leslie Knope and April Ludgate reunite on Weekend Update

#snl #snledit #saturday night live #amy poehler #aubrey plaza #april ludgate #leslie knope #parks and rec #parks and recreation #colin jost #weekend update #mystuff #1k

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lostremind · 5 months

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Parents

#scarlett johansson #colin jost #natasha romanoff #marvel #black widow #natasha romanoff x reader #natasha romanov #natasha x reader #natalia alianovna romanova

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juiles · 1 year

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I’ll do better pt. 2

This was requested by a singular person but I had been wanting to do this anyway so enjoy!

Summary: After a rough day, y/n and scarlet have a rough night but this time, Scarlett protects her eldest following through on her promise.

Type: angst, fluff

Triggers: panic attack, flashbacks, mentions of child abuse, death (in a dream), guns.

Masterlist!

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Part 1

You sat in your bed later that night after saying goodnight to your mother and Colin yet you couldn’t seem to fall asleep. It wasn’t until closer to 2 am that you finally were able to fall asleep.

Y/N Pov:

I opened my eyes to see myself surrounded by water that was pitch black. I looked up seeing mom and Colin standing on a rock holding Rose and Cosmo. I called out to them but my voice disappeared into the nothingness.

That’s when i turned my head a little and saw him. My dad, standing with a gun pointing it directly at my family. I tried to swim but felt like i was being held down by the water.

“MOM!!!!!” I screamed, my voicing making me flinch back. “MOM PLEASE”

I heard 4 loud bangs and watched as my family all crumbled to the ground. Everything went black and my eyes flew open showing me the TV screen, paused on a scene in black widow with my mom. I heard a scream, later i realized it was my own, and I felt my chest instantly tighten as sobs forced their way through my throat and out of my mouth.

“Mama! Mama!!! Mama please!!”

Scarlett POV:

I heard soft whimpers coming from one of my kids but they settled down pretty fast so I buried myself into Colin’s chest before I heard my eldest scream as if she was being murdered. I bolted up and quickly ran to Y/N’s room, now noting her calling me over and over again.

“Mama! Mama!!! Mama please!!” I flung the door to her room open and saw her clutching at her throat, scratching at it, her whole body wracking with sobs.

I ran over to her bed and immediately placed my hands on her shoulders and looked at her eyes which were glossed over, she didn’t seem to be with me.

“Squirt. You’re okay. You’re with mama.” I said, firmly cupping her cheeks. “Mama has you.”

She scratched at her neck more gasping to get a breath. The last time she acted like this was the night she told me about her father. Thats when i realized, she had woken up and was stuck in a flashback. I pulled her into my arms, locking her arms against her body to stop her scratching. I slid into her bed a little more and pulled her trembling body into mine, her screams turned into sobs as she moved her hands to clutch at my shirt sobbing into my neck.

I sat there and rocked her, one hand running through her hair, the other tracing patterns on her back as she slowly calmed down. Y/N pulled back and looked up at me blinking, her matching green eyes coming back into focus as they landed on me.

“Mama…” Her voice was hoarse as her eyes filled with water again and she buried into my neck once more realizing I was holding her. “You’re alive…”

I noticed her hand was sitting against my chest right above my heart. “Yeah bubs. What happened…?”

“H-he sh-sh-shot you and d-daddy and Rose and C-Cosie… I couldn’t s-save you…”

“Oh bubs… we’re all here. Shall we go check on your siblings? hmm?” I asked pulling back slightly, cupping a cheek with my hand wiping a thumb over her cheek bone. She nodded with a small sniffle. I stood, hoisting her so she was wrapped around me like a koala. She locked her arms around my neck and her legs around my waist after grabbing her baby blanket.

I pushed the door to Cosmos nursery open and walked over to his crib, letting y/n/n look at him before she made grabby hands at him.

“You want dad to come get your siblings and we can all sleep in my bed?” I whispered into my little girls head earning a small nod in return. “Okay.…”

We made our way into my room and sat on the bed next to a concerned looking Colin. “Flashback after a nightmare. Can you go get the littles? We’re having a family cuddle night and no work or school tomorrow.” I said making Colin nod swiftly before he ran off to fetch the other two.

I laid down, y/n/n cuddling into me on her side, one hand clutching my shirt, the other wrapped around her baby blanket. Her head was on my chest and my hands wrapped around her waist, tracing small patterns into her skin. Colin came back in holding a confused and sleepy Rose and Cosmo. The two sniffled but immediately buried into their sister as they were laid down, Colin laid on the other side of the three of them and held them as well.

The next morning, i felt myself start to wake up as Cosmo slowly shuffled his way over to me. “Hi sweet boy…” Hi mumbled rubbing his back as he laid on top of me, y/n had shifted so she had her arms around Rose who was asleep on top of her, one hand clinging to Colin’s shirt in her sleep. Cosmo babbled quietly before he finally looked at me and patted my chest. “Mama miwk.” I laughed as I pulled my shirt up and helped him latch on before i saw my eldest mumble before her eyes opened to lock on mine.

“You’re all here…” She muttered with a small smile before it turned into a frown. “I’m sorry… i didn’t mean to be a burden…” I instantly frowned and cupped her cheek, my heart breaking at the worried look on her face.

“Hey. No. None of that. You are not a burden. You are allowed to need my attention too. Today is all about you squirt. I know i said this yesterday but you are JUST as important to me as Rose and Cosmo. You made me a mama. You are my first baby girl.” I wiped a tear that had fallen off her cheek. “I’m going to do everything in my power to show you how important you are to me and that I am so sorry i ever made you feel like i don’t love you. Because i do my love.”

Y/n broke down into tears again with a huge smile on her face. “I love you mama…”

“I love you to squirt.”

After a while, y/n had fallen back asleep and Cosmo and Rose were now awake and wanting breakfast so i slipped out of bed leaving my husband and eldest asleep as i went downstairs to make pancakes for my family. I had some music playing quietly as the two little ones coloured at the table.

After feeding them and myself i heard a frantic call of my name and then someone bolting down the stairs.

I ran towards the stairs and immediately my 20 year old had barrelled into my arms clinging to me again. “Y-you weren’t there!”

“Oh princess. I’m so sorry! I was making breakfast. That’s all. come eat some pancakes. I’ll sit right beside you the whole time.” She nodded pulling back wiping her eyes.

“I know i’m being clingy… I’m just… i didn’t even know he got out…” She muttered as we made our way towards the kitchen. I took a deep breath.

“That’s my fault pumpkin. I had heard rumours but didn’t believe them… i didn’t want to… he’s not going to hurt us. I called the cops on him when he showed up here. He broke parole by being here.” I pressed a soft kiss into her hair. “He’s gone love.”

She looked up at me with a watery smile making me give her a soft smile back. “I’ll do better.”

Tags: @lostinlifetranslation

#scarlett johansson #avengers imagine #scarlett johansson imagine #scarlett johansson x daughter!reader #scarlett johansson x reader #scarlett johansson x teen!reader #scarlett johansson x platonic!reader #scarlett johansson x you #colin jost #scarlett johansson x kid!reader #scarlett johansson x colin jost #scarlett johansson!mom #celebrity #celebrity imagines

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waltermis · 2 days

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