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#learning from experience
furiousgoldfish · 8 months
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When you grow up having the worst possible things happening to you around every corner, you can't just keep living your life without expecting the worst.
This isn't even paranoia, it's learning by experience. You can't just start expecting nice and safe and kind things to be put in your way, if they never were, it would not be backed up by any real-life experience you had. It would feel like you're dreaming if you suddenly expect your life to change completely and contain different events from anything you've experienced before. We don't work like that. We learn from experience. We can only predict what's ahead by looking at what's behind us, our collective experience on earth is the only pointer we have to what else we can expect to happen.
If you often told that your expectations are twisted, or that you're just looking for the worst in people, or assuming everyone has bad intentions, that's not something you should be blamed for. After suffering abuse and mistreatment, you have to be on the lookout for these things to prevent the worst and to save your life. You cannot afford to get trapped in abuse again, you have to look at every person and ask yourself, what is the worst they're capable of. What would they do if they had the complete power over me. And you have to work with that, make sure it doesn't get to it, as much as it's in your power to do so.
Abuse victims have to go above and beyond to keep themselves safe, because we get targeted. It's not something we want to do, or something we do to make our own lives difficult. We don't enjoy it. We want to be safe. We want to let our guard down. We want to relax and believe we're surrounded by people who wouldn't harm us. But, if we're wrong, the consequences can be disastrous. And getting abused by someone we trusted was safe for us, that is not something we can survive endless times in life.
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howifeltabouthim · 2 years
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All this called up what seemed to me to be a new love, a hundred times more profound than the old one. I was deeply moved. Yet at the same time I took the thing with a grain of salt. I had often known myself to be moved in the past, and little had come of it.
Iris Murdoch, from Under the Net
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balkanradfem · 1 year
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Alright so, and I promise this is funny, I have been dealing with severe deficiency in 'making plants grow successfully'. It's going worse than any year but I'm also having a lot of fun with it, because I'm no longer discouraged by baby plants dying, I'm already germinating the next batch and I know I'll be just fine.
This year's weather has been so nice, gardening wise! We didn't have a crazy hot February like the last few years, it's been very frosty in fact, so that the trees didn't flower too soon and I love that for us, that is the promise of fruit, and also making me feel a bit more at ease that the weather, for now, isn't hectic.
The middle of March was nice and sunny, and I felt encouraged to put my baby plants outside, just for an hour or so every day, so they would get used to direct sunlight. I also noticed some of my baby plants turning purple, and I thought, AHA! Nitrogen deficiency, I can fix this by fertilizing them, so I did, a bit too much maybe, because 3 days later half of my tomatoes, and a bunch of other plants sadly died. Some of the plants actually showed signs of getting burned by the sun, but only after the 3rd day they were outside! You're telling me sun was fine for 2 days but then the 3rd day it was just too bright and you had to expire??
Some of the plants that did well initially, also ended up outside when it was, a bit more windy than they could handle. And I wasn't even home, by the time I got home, the plants were already lying horizontally, unable to fight the violent weather.
And this is funny because I take all of these risks every single year and I never had this many of them pan out badly, and never had this amount of seedlings die, but truth be told I do plant too many tomatoes every single year and I should maybe tone it down, 70% of my meals are tomato based at this point (it's so easy to conserve), and I should focus more on some beans and pumpkins.
So anyway, since seedlings are not vibing, I finally gather my senses to go to the actual garden one day, because I'm thinking, there will be cabbage savoy there, and spinach probably grew a bit by now, maybe I can have some fresh spinach! Maybe swiss chard grew and I could eat that, maybe there's a carrot that germinated and would make me happy.
So I bike to the garden and as soon as I get there I realize that everything I was hoping to harvest just went to seed. Two weeks I've been too sick and dealing with medical issues, and I couldn't check on the garden, and 2 days of warm temperatures and everything said bYE and went to make seeds?? The rapid change took me completely by surprise, I didn't think things would go to seed while we still had frosts. I stubbornly picked the cabbage deciding to just eat the little flowerbuds and leaves anyway, the flowers didn't open yet so with a bit more prep time, it's all edible. My spinach went to seed as well, the traitor. It's March!!!
As discouraging as all of this sounds, this is incredible for learning, because now I know that every single thing on this list has a good chance of happening this time of year, and I'll be able to make better choices next time. In fact, if all of this didn't happen now, it would probably happen any year from now on and I wouldn't be ready or expecting it. Next time I'll get all those cabbages before the sun touches them. I'll try growing spinach in the fall when it won't go to seed as easy, and I'll think twice before taking 3-4 risks at once with baby seedlings.
The baby seedlings who survived all this are the victors who are strong and resilient and probably can't be killed by any of my bad choices. Even if I have slightly less plants, I'll have the most powerful plants. The last batch I've planted seems to be growing rapidly, because the weather is light and warm now, and I've planted some flowers I've never had before! I'll have tansy on my garden, for the first time ever.
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howdoesone · 9 months
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How does one balance the demands of multiple consulting projects?
Consultants often find themselves managing multiple projects simultaneously, each with their own deadlines, deliverables, and client expectations. This can be a challenging task, especially when balancing the demands of multiple clients and ensuring the quality of work. In this article, we will explore strategies for effectively managing multiple consulting projects and maintaining a high level…
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sunny7meadow · 5 months
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Older and Wiser
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ossie50 · 5 months
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Don't mistake knowledge for wisdom!
I’m guessing you have been in a conversation with someone, or in a meeting, and there will be a point where someone will pull out their smartphone and duck-duck-go a particular topic (sorry, google). This is because we live in a world where information is just a few clicks away which makes it easy to confuse knowledge with wisdom.  Knowledge and wisdom are not the same, and understanding that…
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queenoftreasures · 9 months
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How One Assignment Reignited My Creative Flame
“The easy road is always crowded. The path less travelled is where you’ll find your true self.” Bard In all my life plans, a career was not even listed. Life’s only purpose was to study and get married. Yes, it does sound archaic, but that’s the way it was. For anything to come to its logical conclusion, your beliefs and life’s path have to be aligned. Mine weren’t. Reading and Writing Improve…
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thehmn · 7 months
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When you have a significantly younger friend:
“Why is she still doing that? If she keeps it up I’ll have to tell her to stop! Doesn’t she know- No wait, she doesn’t. She hasn’t been through that yet”
A year later
“There it is. I didn’t see it happen but she stopped”
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eggsdrawings · 6 months
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recipe for disaster 💥
read from left to right!
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sunnyquilt · 1 year
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Lesson on "Sales" Buying
Do you have times where you buy something just because it is cheap? Especially if it is related to clothing, think twice. If the clothes do not fit without being able to try it on, it will be a waste after purchasing it. What I learnt was that, take it as a paid lesson learnt. I could also give it away as a blessing to somebody.
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satelliteduster · 1 year
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oh my god i forgot to post my absolute favorite strip from gay comix (issue #2, 1981)
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bumbleboa · 3 months
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of all the good reasons to have an ace headcanon for him, why would you land on this
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steddiealltheway · 6 months
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Steve can see it in Max. That same loneliness and ache that he finds in himself. For him, it’s result of his parents leaving with no intent to return to him unless absolutely necessary.
He knows he was an accident. Or rather a mistake as his father used to call him when he was particularly angry. But it made sense to him. Steve's the reason his father had to marry his mother. He left him "trapped." And maybe no one says it out loud, but he can tell his mother feels the same way too.
But they must keep up appearances, right?
Which is what Max has been trying to do since Billy died, El moved away, and it's been just her and her mom. But she's been going about it through a different route - pushing people away all while pretending things are fine. But Steve sees the way she picks up the broken pieces of her mom and tries to put them back together - Steve's had to do the same thing before.
So, he starts sticking around a little longer. Offering her more rides to the arcade and around town to pick up groceries when she needs to. Sometimes he'll tell her about a new recipe he's been trying for a casserole and pick up the ingredients, pretending like the milk and butter he bought will spoil by the time he drives home from her trailer.
Of course, they both know it's a lie, but Max humors him and plays along. She'll let him cook dinner while she picks up the bottles her mom left on the floor, dumps out the overflowing ashtray, and feeds the dog. Usually, Steve will ask her what she's learning in school and linger a little longer than usual in hopes that she'll say more than the usual, "I don't know. A bunch of boring stuff."
But lingering has gotten a lot of things out of Max such as her love for Kate Bush, a story about El and how much she misses her, and short quips about Lucas before she gets a sad smile on her face. Steve doesn't really know what to say most of the time, but he hopes that just being there will help.
Unfortunately, lingering and just being there has led him to his current predicament of none other than Eddie "The Freak" Munson sitting on the hood of his car glaring at him as he walks out of Max's place. Steve jumps a little, startled by the figure on his car and becoming more hostile as he sees the expression on his face. He shoves his hands in his pockets and slows his pace. "Is there a problem?"
Eddie snorts humorlessly. "Christ. You're really going to pretend like there's nothing wrong with what's happening?"
Steve's brows furrow, entirely missing whatever point he's trying to make.
Eddie stands up and stalks toward him. "I see you, you know. Always lurking around when her mom isn't home. Coming out of her trailer late at night."
Steve laughs, finally understanding the absurd conclusion he's come to. "Jesus, man. You're delusional."
Steve doesn't expect it, but Eddie sharply shoves his chest and grits, "I don't fucking lie to me, Harrington."
Steve holds his hands up. "I'm not," he firmly states. "Nothing like that is happening here. I'm glad you're looking out for her, but it isn't like that."
"Do you expect me to believe that? Maybe this is why you're always hanging around Henderson and the other kids."
Steve crosses his arms and his jaw tenses. "I'm not a fucking pervert or a pedophile if that's what you're trying to say. I'm just looking after them."
"Why?" Eddie asks, dramatically opening his arms, "Why would King Steve adopt a group of misfits to take under his wing? See, the math isn't adding up."
Usually, Steve would just brush it off and tell the person to fuck off and mind their own business. But his parents have just left town again without leaving a note and Max had snapped when Steve tried to help her clean the place because it looked worse than usual, and he was just generally feeling like shit and angry at his parents and Max's parents for not being there. So he broke, "Because I don't want Max to end up like me! I don't want any of those kids to grow up without a role model. And god forbid if any of those other kids' parents fuck up, and they’re left with only me. I need them to know that I'm there for them! Because sometimes it feels like whenever the world goes to shit, I'm the only one who is there, and I plan to stay there, okay?!"
He finishes his rant breathing a little heavier than usual and noticing that a few of the lights in the trailers have turned on around them. He looks around and awkwardly nods to the people glaring out their windows. God, he needs to get a grip.
When he turns back to Eddie, he notices the conflicted expression, jaw dropped, eyebrows knitted together, eyes searching him as if he's still wondering if he's lying.
A door creaks open behind them and Steve curses under his breath as he hears Max say, "Eddie, leave him alone. Do you really think I would hook up with my damn babysitter? Jeez."
"Language," Steve quietly lectures as the door swings shut. He runs his hands over his face and takes a deep breath. It's been a long fucking day.
A hand lands on his arm and tugs him away from Max's trailer. Steve glances up at Eddie, leading him across the way. "Where are we going?"
"My place," Eddie says.
"Why?"
"So we can talk."
God, the last thing he wants to do is talk to Eddie of all people, the guy he's been actively avoiding since Dustin started worshipping the ground - or rather tables - he walks on. But he lets himself be pulled away in the trailer and practically deposited on the couch in the living room.
He glances up and comments, "That's a lot of mugs."
"My uncle's, but that's not what I wanted to... Christ," Eddie says, pacing in front of Steve and tugging his hair in front of his face. The anxious display makes Steve feel even more tired, but he lets him pace. God, what is he even doing here?
"I'm sorry," Eddie blurts out. "I'm just..." he trails off and rushes over to grab a stool a few feet away before dragging it in front of the couch. He sits on it but his leg still holds that nervous energy as it rapidly bounces up and down. "I jumped to conclusions, and it was really shitty of me, man. I just... didn't believe what Henderson was saying about you and thought 'Oh, this makes way more sense than Steve Harrington being a good dude.' And I'm sorry to accuse you of that. And I... I didn't know about your... parents and stuff. Like I knew they were away a lot because of your parties but... I just never connected the dots. And I'm sorry. No one deserves that shit, man."
Steve doesn't know what to do this whole interaction, especially with it coming from Eddie Munson who he doesn't think he's ever talked to before this moment, but... he needs to hear it. God, he needs to hear it.
Of course, he can't let him know this, so he does what he's best at and brushes it off. "It's fine. You were just looking out for the kids. And really just ignore what I said back there, it isn't that big of a deal."
Eddie worries his bottom lip before he blurts out, "I know what it's like." He pauses and takes a deep breath. "I mean, I know what it's like to have... absent parents. But in my case, eventually, my uncle Wayne took me in, and I can only imagine if he didn't." He gives him a pointed look and lowers his voice, "Do you have someone like that?"
A big part of Steve wants to leave right now, and he knows there's nothing stopping him. But a bigger part of him needs to stay. Needs to talk about the emptiness in his house that he can never truly escape at the end of the day that he can’t talk to anyone about. Because he's not supposed to be weak. He's supposed to take care of the others. So he admits, "No, I don't have... anyone like that. Except Robin but..."
"That's different," Eddie finishes the thought for him.
Steve nods. He loves Robin, but he loves her as a platonic soulmate and not as a parent figure in his life. "You know, I once had this basketball coach in middle school - Mr. Weston. And I remember looking up to him so much. I wanted to be just like him, and I would go to his office during lunch and ask him for advice or talk about dumb shit that my father would never talk about. But he never shamed me for my questions. And sometimes he even packed an extra dessert for me." Steve smiles at the memories and runs a hand through his hair, remembering the day he got the news. "But one time, when I went to his office, he had this look on his face. And I just knew it was bad news. And really, it wasn't bad news to him because his wife was pregnant. But she wanted to move a few states away to raise the kid closer to her family. And it wasn't his fault, you know? It wasn't like he purposely chose to move away from me, but I felt like I was abandoned again."
Steve wipes a tear from his eye and puts his head in his hands. "God, I don't know why I'm even telling you this story. Sorry."
"Don't apologize," Eddie says quickly. He pauses and shifts on the stool, his gaze being far away. "I remember him. He was one of the only gym teachers that defended me against all the shitty middle school bullies. He was a good person.”
Steve nods. God, he was a good person.
Eddie continues, “I'm sorry that he left. And I bet he still regrets leaving you behind."
Steve leans back against the couch and looks away, shaking his head. "I bet he forgot about me."
"You're kind of hard to forget."
Steve looks at Eddie and sees a slight blush on his cheeks as he shakes his head and waves his hands as if trying to make the comment go away. "What I mean is that there's no way he's forgotten about you. Someone who you used to have lunch with all the time to the point of giving you free food... Nah, man. He remembers you. I think you may have been as important to him as he was to you."
The thought breaks away at a wall Steve had built up long ago. "Thanks," he practically whispers.
Eddie just smiles at him, small dimples appearing on his cheeks.
"You didn't deserve it either, you know," Steve says. "The absent parent stuff. Even with Wayne, they should've been here too."
Eddie's smile falters a bit as he swallows and looks at the ground. "Thanks," he mumbles. He looks up at Steve and comments, "Getting sappy with Steve Harrington. Who knew."
"Yeah, getting sappy with Eddie Munson," Steve echoes back at him.
Eddie laughs, "I'm surprised you even know my name."
"You're kind of hard to forget," Steve says easily.
That same blush comes back to Eddie who shifts in his chair a bit as if he needs to process the information with his whole body.
They sit in the moment for a bit before Eddie gets a somewhat serious look on his face and offers, "You know, I'm definitely not a parent figure or anything, but I'm always here and around to talk about that whole thing if you need to."
Steve's heart beats a little faster at the sheer genuineness. "Same here," he can't help but offer in return. He glances down at his watch and sighs, "It's getting late, so I better..."
"Right," Eddie says, standing up and leading him to the door. "Do you need water for the road or anything?"
Steve smiles and pats him on the back without thinking too hard about it. "I'm good, man. But thank you. For everything really."
"Sorry for being an asshole," Eddie apologizes again.
"Usually that's my line," Steve accidentally voices before cringing a bit, wondering further why Eddie's been so kind to him.
But as he opens the door, Eddie comments, "I don't know. It seems like Dustin was right about the whole reformed jock thing. Maybe your crown really has fallen - which is a good thing by the way."
Steve slightly smiles at him before he turns to leave. But he can't help but say, "I wonder what the neighbors will think about me leaving your trailer so late."
Eddie groans then laughs. "Sorry to ruin your image."
"I wouldn't mind," Steve replies, honestly unsure what he means by that. "Goodnight, Eddie."
"Goodnight, Steve," Eddie says, that same blush on his cheeks, only this time Steve isn't sure if it's something he said or a result of the cold night air.
In bed that night, Steve feels a slight weight lifted from him and can't help but feel like he’s a little less alone.
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crestapex · 25 days
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Yall seen those posts about dating german men and how complicated while simultaneously so caring they can be? Or that tiktoker that does the German guy falling in love with you posts?? Okay, that, but with König
Much like many other German men, he is fairly straightforward, and it may come off as berating if you’re not used to it. But he also means it out of love for you “You have not eaten yet today? Is something wrong with you? That is bad for you… Then I will feed you” or “You are walking too slow. What do you mean my legs or too long? *simutaneously slows down* Do I need to carry you?” he jokingly says
He’s not trying to insult or harshly criticize you, he just cares about you and your guys’ relationship and wants you to be your best you 🖤
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howdoesone · 1 year
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How does one establish credibility as a consultant?
In the world of consulting, credibility is key. Without it, clients may not trust your expertise or your ability to deliver quality work. Establishing credibility is therefore an essential part of being a successful consultant. But how does one go about building credibility in this field? In this article, we’ll explore some tips and strategies for establishing credibility as a…
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satans-side-hoe · 2 months
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What Echo Did: give Omega a crossbow
What he was implying: “if you have to shoot any of them- you have my blessing and my applause”
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