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#and it’s a really beautiful thing
steddiealltheway · 6 months
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Steve can see it in Max. That same loneliness and ache that he finds in himself. For him, it’s result of his parents leaving with no intent to return to him unless absolutely necessary.
He knows he was an accident. Or rather a mistake as his father used to call him when he was particularly angry. But it made sense to him. Steve's the reason his father had to marry his mother. He left him "trapped." And maybe no one says it out loud, but he can tell his mother feels the same way too.
But they must keep up appearances, right?
Which is what Max has been trying to do since Billy died, El moved away, and it's been just her and her mom. But she's been going about it through a different route - pushing people away all while pretending things are fine. But Steve sees the way she picks up the broken pieces of her mom and tries to put them back together - Steve's had to do the same thing before.
So, he starts sticking around a little longer. Offering her more rides to the arcade and around town to pick up groceries when she needs to. Sometimes he'll tell her about a new recipe he's been trying for a casserole and pick up the ingredients, pretending like the milk and butter he bought will spoil by the time he drives home from her trailer.
Of course, they both know it's a lie, but Max humors him and plays along. She'll let him cook dinner while she picks up the bottles her mom left on the floor, dumps out the overflowing ashtray, and feeds the dog. Usually, Steve will ask her what she's learning in school and linger a little longer than usual in hopes that she'll say more than the usual, "I don't know. A bunch of boring stuff."
But lingering has gotten a lot of things out of Max such as her love for Kate Bush, a story about El and how much she misses her, and short quips about Lucas before she gets a sad smile on her face. Steve doesn't really know what to say most of the time, but he hopes that just being there will help.
Unfortunately, lingering and just being there has led him to his current predicament of none other than Eddie "The Freak" Munson sitting on the hood of his car glaring at him as he walks out of Max's place. Steve jumps a little, startled by the figure on his car and becoming more hostile as he sees the expression on his face. He shoves his hands in his pockets and slows his pace. "Is there a problem?"
Eddie snorts humorlessly. "Christ. You're really going to pretend like there's nothing wrong with what's happening?"
Steve's brows furrow, entirely missing whatever point he's trying to make.
Eddie stands up and stalks toward him. "I see you, you know. Always lurking around when her mom isn't home. Coming out of her trailer late at night."
Steve laughs, finally understanding the absurd conclusion he's come to. "Jesus, man. You're delusional."
Steve doesn't expect it, but Eddie sharply shoves his chest and grits, "I don't fucking lie to me, Harrington."
Steve holds his hands up. "I'm not," he firmly states. "Nothing like that is happening here. I'm glad you're looking out for her, but it isn't like that."
"Do you expect me to believe that? Maybe this is why you're always hanging around Henderson and the other kids."
Steve crosses his arms and his jaw tenses. "I'm not a fucking pervert or a pedophile if that's what you're trying to say. I'm just looking after them."
"Why?" Eddie asks, dramatically opening his arms, "Why would King Steve adopt a group of misfits to take under his wing? See, the math isn't adding up."
Usually, Steve would just brush it off and tell the person to fuck off and mind their own business. But his parents have just left town again without leaving a note and Max had snapped when Steve tried to help her clean the place because it looked worse than usual, and he was just generally feeling like shit and angry at his parents and Max's parents for not being there. So he broke, "Because I don't want Max to end up like me! I don't want any of those kids to grow up without a role model. And god forbid if any of those other kids' parents fuck up, and they’re left with only me. I need them to know that I'm there for them! Because sometimes it feels like whenever the world goes to shit, I'm the only one who is there, and I plan to stay there, okay?!"
He finishes his rant breathing a little heavier than usual and noticing that a few of the lights in the trailers have turned on around them. He looks around and awkwardly nods to the people glaring out their windows. God, he needs to get a grip.
When he turns back to Eddie, he notices the conflicted expression, jaw dropped, eyebrows knitted together, eyes searching him as if he's still wondering if he's lying.
A door creaks open behind them and Steve curses under his breath as he hears Max say, "Eddie, leave him alone. Do you really think I would hook up with my damn babysitter? Jeez."
"Language," Steve quietly lectures as the door swings shut. He runs his hands over his face and takes a deep breath. It's been a long fucking day.
A hand lands on his arm and tugs him away from Max's trailer. Steve glances up at Eddie, leading him across the way. "Where are we going?"
"My place," Eddie says.
"Why?"
"So we can talk."
God, the last thing he wants to do is talk to Eddie of all people, the guy he's been actively avoiding since Dustin started worshipping the ground - or rather tables - he walks on. But he lets himself be pulled away in the trailer and practically deposited on the couch in the living room.
He glances up and comments, "That's a lot of mugs."
"My uncle's, but that's not what I wanted to... Christ," Eddie says, pacing in front of Steve and tugging his hair in front of his face. The anxious display makes Steve feel even more tired, but he lets him pace. God, what is he even doing here?
"I'm sorry," Eddie blurts out. "I'm just..." he trails off and rushes over to grab a stool a few feet away before dragging it in front of the couch. He sits on it but his leg still holds that nervous energy as it rapidly bounces up and down. "I jumped to conclusions, and it was really shitty of me, man. I just... didn't believe what Henderson was saying about you and thought 'Oh, this makes way more sense than Steve Harrington being a good dude.' And I'm sorry to accuse you of that. And I... I didn't know about your... parents and stuff. Like I knew they were away a lot because of your parties but... I just never connected the dots. And I'm sorry. No one deserves that shit, man."
Steve doesn't know what to do this whole interaction, especially with it coming from Eddie Munson who he doesn't think he's ever talked to before this moment, but... he needs to hear it. God, he needs to hear it.
Of course, he can't let him know this, so he does what he's best at and brushes it off. "It's fine. You were just looking out for the kids. And really just ignore what I said back there, it isn't that big of a deal."
Eddie worries his bottom lip before he blurts out, "I know what it's like." He pauses and takes a deep breath. "I mean, I know what it's like to have... absent parents. But in my case, eventually, my uncle Wayne took me in, and I can only imagine if he didn't." He gives him a pointed look and lowers his voice, "Do you have someone like that?"
A big part of Steve wants to leave right now, and he knows there's nothing stopping him. But a bigger part of him needs to stay. Needs to talk about the emptiness in his house that he can never truly escape at the end of the day that he can’t talk to anyone about. Because he's not supposed to be weak. He's supposed to take care of the others. So he admits, "No, I don't have... anyone like that. Except Robin but..."
"That's different," Eddie finishes the thought for him.
Steve nods. He loves Robin, but he loves her as a platonic soulmate and not as a parent figure in his life. "You know, I once had this basketball coach in middle school - Mr. Weston. And I remember looking up to him so much. I wanted to be just like him, and I would go to his office during lunch and ask him for advice or talk about dumb shit that my father would never talk about. But he never shamed me for my questions. And sometimes he even packed an extra dessert for me." Steve smiles at the memories and runs a hand through his hair, remembering the day he got the news. "But one time, when I went to his office, he had this look on his face. And I just knew it was bad news. And really, it wasn't bad news to him because his wife was pregnant. But she wanted to move a few states away to raise the kid closer to her family. And it wasn't his fault, you know? It wasn't like he purposely chose to move away from me, but I felt like I was abandoned again."
Steve wipes a tear from his eye and puts his head in his hands. "God, I don't know why I'm even telling you this story. Sorry."
"Don't apologize," Eddie says quickly. He pauses and shifts on the stool, his gaze being far away. "I remember him. He was one of the only gym teachers that defended me against all the shitty middle school bullies. He was a good person.”
Steve nods. God, he was a good person.
Eddie continues, “I'm sorry that he left. And I bet he still regrets leaving you behind."
Steve leans back against the couch and looks away, shaking his head. "I bet he forgot about me."
"You're kind of hard to forget."
Steve looks at Eddie and sees a slight blush on his cheeks as he shakes his head and waves his hands as if trying to make the comment go away. "What I mean is that there's no way he's forgotten about you. Someone who you used to have lunch with all the time to the point of giving you free food... Nah, man. He remembers you. I think you may have been as important to him as he was to you."
The thought breaks away at a wall Steve had built up long ago. "Thanks," he practically whispers.
Eddie just smiles at him, small dimples appearing on his cheeks.
"You didn't deserve it either, you know," Steve says. "The absent parent stuff. Even with Wayne, they should've been here too."
Eddie's smile falters a bit as he swallows and looks at the ground. "Thanks," he mumbles. He looks up at Steve and comments, "Getting sappy with Steve Harrington. Who knew."
"Yeah, getting sappy with Eddie Munson," Steve echoes back at him.
Eddie laughs, "I'm surprised you even know my name."
"You're kind of hard to forget," Steve says easily.
That same blush comes back to Eddie who shifts in his chair a bit as if he needs to process the information with his whole body.
They sit in the moment for a bit before Eddie gets a somewhat serious look on his face and offers, "You know, I'm definitely not a parent figure or anything, but I'm always here and around to talk about that whole thing if you need to."
Steve's heart beats a little faster at the sheer genuineness. "Same here," he can't help but offer in return. He glances down at his watch and sighs, "It's getting late, so I better..."
"Right," Eddie says, standing up and leading him to the door. "Do you need water for the road or anything?"
Steve smiles and pats him on the back without thinking too hard about it. "I'm good, man. But thank you. For everything really."
"Sorry for being an asshole," Eddie apologizes again.
"Usually that's my line," Steve accidentally voices before cringing a bit, wondering further why Eddie's been so kind to him.
But as he opens the door, Eddie comments, "I don't know. It seems like Dustin was right about the whole reformed jock thing. Maybe your crown really has fallen - which is a good thing by the way."
Steve slightly smiles at him before he turns to leave. But he can't help but say, "I wonder what the neighbors will think about me leaving your trailer so late."
Eddie groans then laughs. "Sorry to ruin your image."
"I wouldn't mind," Steve replies, honestly unsure what he means by that. "Goodnight, Eddie."
"Goodnight, Steve," Eddie says, that same blush on his cheeks, only this time Steve isn't sure if it's something he said or a result of the cold night air.
In bed that night, Steve feels a slight weight lifted from him and can't help but feel like he’s a little less alone.
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pokimoko · 10 months
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I can't keep being fundamentally changed as a person by animated movies, it's just not sustainable.
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adriles · 6 months
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when we’re done with our overwhelming grief we’ll eat i guess
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hellsitegenetics · 3 months
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this is literally the coolest gimmick blog i have ever seen, i took a genetics class in tenth grade and i’ve been obsessed ever since. could you analyze this ask too?
String identified:
t ta t ct gc g a , t a gtc ca tt ga a ’ c. c aa t a t?
Closest match: Lysandra bellargus genome assembly, chromosome: 10 Common name: Adonis blue butterfly
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Zuko, hungover: please tell me I’m imagining that I claimed I was the king of all the turtleducks
Sokka: I would, but then I’d be lying to the King of All Turtleducks
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egophiliac · 5 months
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new chapter 7 installment dropped how we feelin????
YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
THAT'S HIS DAD
#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 part 6 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 part 6 spoilers#BABY DRAGON BABY DRAGON BABY DRAGON#i will take three thank you#god. lilia really has no idea how incredibly loved he is huh.#meleanor: (dies to protect him and her son)#malleus: (is literally born having a huge destructive tantrum because he wants lilia back)#silver: (bases his entire life and personality around how much he loves his dad)#lilia: wow i just can't understand why everyone is so upset about me dying#(somehow sebek ended up being the most normal about him and there's the most unexpected part)#man i really gotta redo lilia's um poster. i wasn't super happy with it to begin with but now there's like. fun shapes and context!#me: ha ha why is his magic called that. that's so weird.#me later: o-oh. oh i see.#SPEAKING OF SEBEK THOUGH there he is! THERE HE IS!#i was so afraid the armor was going to be a bad thing but NO he earned it!#he shook out his hair and turned out to have been beautiful all along!#episode 7 is about two things and two things only: dads and significant hair moments#and also speaking of dads!#i am taking lilia mistaking malleus for revaan based on his voice#as one more tick in the 'if crowley is revaan then there's going to have to be a really good explanation' column#the dulcet tones of dire crowley...#on the other hand if crowley tears off his mask and immediately starts sounding like malleus that would be THE funniest way to do it#auuuggghhhhh it's only been out for hours and already i'm like next part when#we've been cliffhanger'd again lads#idia finally came back to us and they were like 'please wait for the next release :)'#ortho did...did you somehow hack your way into silver's dream palace
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inkskinned · 7 months
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as we enter the start of a semester and the dreaded Hour of Making Friends us upon us... if ur ever at a loss for what to say in one of those weird social situations where you only vaguely-know people, one of my favorite questions to ask is "what is your favorite food crime." a food crime is like the food combination that you love that other people find revolting. press them to take it further than pineapple on pizza, that's rote. food crimes is a good topic that has many benefits as it turns out all people are degenerates and also it will give you some cool ideas to try out later in the privacy of your own degenerate kitchen
the other good thing to ask is "okay but has anyone here ever been someplace haunted" bc it turns out if you ask most people directly they don't believe in ghosts, but many people are like "oh yeah i lived in a haunted house. ghosts aren't real tho"
#my food crime is that i regularly make a “pasta and tuna” situation that has somehow gotten even more evil and degenerate over time.#it is a ''white wine reduction'' (it's just white wine and garlic powder & seasoning)#and tuna from a can.#and plain pasta.#if i have the spoons i will actually chop garlic for it but this tends to be my comfort food for a REALLY bad day#bc its super easy to make:#boil pasta. drain. put into bowl for later. into same pot u used for pasta.#put tuna (with oil/water from can). let fry a little for like 2-3 min. put in whatever amount of wine. season to taste.#the tuna will get a little crisp on it which is nice. important side note:#this began as a Bolognese sauce.#and one day i had to sub for tuna. i know. not ideal. i cried about it too.#somehow over time it is now its own little evil thing. i would never make someone else eat it. it is beautiful.#but yeah i don't even stir the pasta in afterwards i just slap pasta into serving bowl#slap this ''''''sauce'''''''' on top#molto bene#(i really can cook fairly well btw. this is a food crime. not a suggestion of skill or ability)#(i LOVE baking but when i cook for myself. the autism is obvious. bc i just don't understand the point of most of the steps)#(.... i can just eat the deli meat out of the bag. it is protein. i don't even have to like it. i just have to eat enough calories.)#(also i used to cook MUCH more before this apartment which is so small that i can stretch my arms out and overreach the counter length.)#(.... i'm 5.2. so.)
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cowboythewizard726 · 1 month
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big fan of the gorgeous beautiful man covered in blood and sweat
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rassebers · 1 year
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So, who's paying?
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asoftepiloguemylove · 9 months
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Natalie Wee NEVER BEEN KISSED / pinterest / 밤의 해변에서 혼자 On the Beach at Night Alone (2017) dir. 홍상수 Hong Sang-soo / Evelyn Waugh Brideshead Revisited / Mary Oliver North Country / Cheryl Strayed Tiny Beautiful Things / Aftersun (2022) dir. Charlotte Wells / Franz Wright East Boston, 1996; God's Silence
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amethyst-crowns · 8 months
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this beautiful boy
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heymacy · 28 days
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IAN GALLAGHER + his journey with bipolar disorder
╰┈➤ “At times, being bipolar can be an all-consuming challenge, requiring a lot of stamina and even more courage, so if you’re living with this illness and functioning at all, it’s something to be proud of, not ashamed of." - Carrie Fisher
#happy world bipolar day to all my bp babies#(more thoughts at the end of the tags)#shameless#shamelessnet#shamelessedit#ian gallagher#cameron monaghan#*macygifs#bipolar disorder#hello pals how are we doin#i made this gif set in july of 2023 and never posted it because 1) i was terrified to share it and potentially see Bad Takes in the tags#and 2) because my hyperfixation was waning. and while both of those things are still mostly true (the fixation comes and goes)#i feel like it's really important to share as ian's bipolar storyline was not only so vital to his character it was a bit of representation#that isn't often given to the disorder and those (like myself) who live with it every single day#world bipolar day is a day where we can both celebrate ourselves and our resilience and also raise awareness of the reality of the disorder#which is both terrifying and beautiful at its core. this disease is not a death sentence or a sentence to an unfulfilled and miserable life#while there are challenges galore when it comes to balancing life with this disorder it IS possible to live a full and productive life#and i think it's really important to have representation of that in media - and while shameless dropped the ball on a LOT of storylines#over the years THIS is the one they really fucking nailed and i am incredibly grateful#i first started watching shameless while in the midst of a major depressive episode and i was later (finally) diagnosed during an extended#hypo/manic episode - this show and ian's storyline got me through so much and made me feel so seen and validated in my struggles#world bipolar day is also vincent van gogh's birthday (happy birthday buddy) who was posthumously diagnosed with bipolar disorder#and who experienced both depressive and hypo/manic episodes during his lifetime (and was regularly institutionalized)#it takes a lot of help and support to keep us going. it takes the support of our family and friends and *most* of all#it takes patience and kindness and understanding - which is so so so easy to give if you are willing to love and listen#so please. be willing. listen to our stories. be patient with us. show us love without conditions. support us in any way you can.#we are worth it#i promise#anyway. that's really all i wanted to say. happy world bipolar day to those who celebrate (me) and may all of us living with this disorder#go on to live happy fulfilling beautiful magical lives
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loves2spwge · 2 months
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Hey, thanks for going through all that to save my life, Stan.
Dude, you're my best friend. I don't want you to die until I do.
💙💚 @judgedarts did this incredibly gorgeous page for me for my two most favorite dudes everrrr 💚💙
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sunskaiis · 9 months
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redrew some emesis blue scenes for fun 😁👍
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swordmaid · 9 months
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brienne but she's wearing 1949 cocteau's beauty and the beast inspired fit!!! this is the inspo pic i used if ur curious.
gonna be posting more of this redesign thing (and also jaime's ver) some time in the future but i just wanted to share this one <3
#brienne of tarth#asoiaf#mine.#u know literally just as i finished colouring this i found that some theater made an opera version of this batb#and they made belle's dress BLUE...which is a win for me and also not bc they made it light blue#but here it's supposed to be velvet.. idk if it comes across as velvet but that's the fabric of choice lol.#but im gonna ramble because i really like the concept... i love brienne in pearls!! i feel like pearls will be her jewellery of choice#and i talked abt this before in some post but i think tarth regalia would have a lot of pearls just bc they're an island#and i think they would export pearls alongside marble lol#i love brienne in silver and pearls BUT the reason why the flower thing on her cape is gold bc in the film#the pearl chain was actually a gift from the beast. so she's wearing jaime's gift. and i made the cape more silvery white (leaning on white#to resemble his cloak so it's like... jaime gifting her his white cloak..... hihihIHIHIhhihihihihi......#tbh i drew that concept before too BUT I JUST LIKE IT!!!!!!!! i want it to happen actually....please....thank u..#also the feathers in her hair is bc i want to accessorize her in a brienne way BUT ALSO supposed to be like the plumes knights wore in thei#helm. she's wearing trousers in the fit btw only the upper half of the design is based on beauty but the silhouette mimics beasts' more.#but anyway i really like this design!! bc it's a bit ott but also not in a way that seems out of character for her? idk LOL
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jessiesjaded · 5 months
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The Boy and The Heron, 2023.
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