#this is the only way to learn

[balkanradfem]

Alright so, and I promise this is funny, I have been dealing with severe deficiency in 'making plants grow successfully'. It's going worse than any year but I'm also having a lot of fun with it, because I'm no longer discouraged by baby plants dying, I'm already germinating the next batch and I know I'll be just fine.

This year's weather has been so nice, gardening wise! We didn't have a crazy hot February like the last few years, it's been very frosty in fact, so that the trees didn't flower too soon and I love that for us, that is the promise of fruit, and also making me feel a bit more at ease that the weather, for now, isn't hectic.

The middle of March was nice and sunny, and I felt encouraged to put my baby plants outside, just for an hour or so every day, so they would get used to direct sunlight. I also noticed some of my baby plants turning purple, and I thought, AHA! Nitrogen deficiency, I can fix this by fertilizing them, so I did, a bit too much maybe, because 3 days later half of my tomatoes, and a bunch of other plants sadly died. Some of the plants actually showed signs of getting burned by the sun, but only after the 3rd day they were outside! You're telling me sun was fine for 2 days but then the 3rd day it was just too bright and you had to expire??

Some of the plants that did well initially, also ended up outside when it was, a bit more windy than they could handle. And I wasn't even home, by the time I got home, the plants were already lying horizontally, unable to fight the violent weather.

And this is funny because I take all of these risks every single year and I never had this many of them pan out badly, and never had this amount of seedlings die, but truth be told I do plant too many tomatoes every single year and I should maybe tone it down, 70% of my meals are tomato based at this point (it's so easy to conserve), and I should focus more on some beans and pumpkins.

So anyway, since seedlings are not vibing, I finally gather my senses to go to the actual garden one day, because I'm thinking, there will be cabbage savoy there, and spinach probably grew a bit by now, maybe I can have some fresh spinach! Maybe swiss chard grew and I could eat that, maybe there's a carrot that germinated and would make me happy.

So I bike to the garden and as soon as I get there I realize that everything I was hoping to harvest just went to seed. Two weeks I've been too sick and dealing with medical issues, and I couldn't check on the garden, and 2 days of warm temperatures and everything said bYE and went to make seeds?? The rapid change took me completely by surprise, I didn't think things would go to seed while we still had frosts. I stubbornly picked the cabbage deciding to just eat the little flowerbuds and leaves anyway, the flowers didn't open yet so with a bit more prep time, it's all edible. My spinach went to seed as well, the traitor. It's March!!!

As discouraging as all of this sounds, this is incredible for learning, because now I know that every single thing on this list has a good chance of happening this time of year, and I'll be able to make better choices next time. In fact, if all of this didn't happen now, it would probably happen any year from now on and I wouldn't be ready or expecting it. Next time I'll get all those cabbages before the sun touches them. I'll try growing spinach in the fall when it won't go to seed as easy, and I'll think twice before taking 3-4 risks at once with baby seedlings.

The baby seedlings who survived all this are the victors who are strong and resilient and probably can't be killed by any of my bad choices. Even if I have slightly less plants, I'll have the most powerful plants. The last batch I've planted seems to be growing rapidly, because the weather is light and warm now, and I've planted some flowers I've never had before! I'll have tansy on my garden, for the first time ever.

#gardening #growing seedlings #making bad decisions and learning #this is the only way to learn #growing food #learning from experience #this year of gardening is going to be awesome I can feel it

[andthebeanstalk]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

#hlep #original #mental health #my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need. #the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it #i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support #and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist. #the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28! #a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents. #they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of #huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the #longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong. #and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives. #you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead? #or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of. #no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow. #i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel #i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong. #just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop

[ryssbelle]

Drew a bunch of Marinettes in a bunch of different artists styles it was a lot of fun!!

Artists who's styles I mimicked: @buggachat @hamsternamedmarinette @ladybeug @sabertoothwalrus and @anna-scribbles all epic artists 🤟😎

#my art #marinette dupain cheng #miraculous ladybug #miraculous fanart #style mimic #sorry for the @s btw #yall should go follow those artists if you dont already also #this was sort of inspired by a post the three artists on the top row made #i think they all got together and drew with one another #which is really cool #but i was genuinely confused because i mimic styles a lot #and ive seen others do it too so i was just like #wow they really know each others styles really well #until i thought about it and read their posts some more #style mimicking is really freaking fun and i think its really good practice #and a good way to explore other ways of doing things #like you really have to learn new techniques and get out of your comfort zone #also anna scribbles i could not find a recent pic of marinette in her main outfit #so thats the only marinette i drew in different clothes cuz i couldnt find a more recent ref of you drawing it #anna scribble marinette has privileges thats the others dont #but ye #i also threw my own style in there as a frame of reference to what me draw like #ive drawn marinette before just not in a loooong while #sabertooth walrus was the hardest for me to mimic cuz they have a broad range in their style #so its like which sabertooth do i wanna be in this pic #Buggachat has such a distinct style thats very clean and consistent which is amazing so they were easy #being easy or hard arent bad things either it also has to do with like styles meeting up with one another #buggachats and mine arent too too different in some shapes and aspects #so yeah itd be easier plus they drew marinette like 3 sec ago so i have more recent of a ref #as opposed to sabertooth who i have a recent ref of ladybug but not marinette so we got two diff styles in one

[appalachianapologies]

There are many new friends on the archive, and many are young and have only known social media, which is why I wanted to say something!

Ao3 does not have an algorithm! It isn't a social media site, it's an archive.

Posting fics on Tumblr isn't the same as posting fics on Ao3

Ao3 is like a giant virtual bookshelf, and everyone is able to add their own stories to the bookshelf, all stored with different tags and different fandoms. Works are automatically sorted by newest to oldest, but filters, looking at bookmarks, and using the search function can change that.

Certain works are not pushed to the top like social media posts. More kudos and reads don't push a single work to more viewers by some algorithm. Unless otherwise filtered, works will be at the top of the page based on how recent it was posted.

Smaller fandoms get less views, less kudos, less bookmarks, and larger fandoms get more simply because of the number of people inside the fandom.

Ao3 is a giant virtual bookshelf- there is no algorithm, and there is no man behind the shelf pushing certain books forward.

Happy reading, and if you'd like to have more people notice a fic, why not share it with them! Send a dm to a fandom friend and it might turn into one of their favorite fics!

#ao3 #archive of our own #organization for transformative works #i have admittedly only been a member of the committee for a couple of years BUT ive been a member on ao3 since i was much younger #and it took me a hot second to understand how ao3 works; so i wanted to write a lil post about it after seeing this comment #no shade or blame to the person who wrote this by the way! #after being on social media so much it's a completely understandable mistake and i totally get it #and in fandoms populated by younger ppl typically it's even more understandable! #so absolutely no hate no shade no passive aggressiveness #but i do think it is important to learn how the archive works #so if you'd like to share this it would be greatly appreciated! <3 #okay have a good day sorry this post/tags became so long haha

[orpheuslament]

isnt it amazing we live in a world where theres poetry. why is nobody else going insane about it

#like!!!? we learn words & then we learn to turn them into beautiful things because its the only way we have to even begin to express whats + #inside all of us. #theres been poetry for as long as theres been written word & you expect me to be normal about it???????? #dante.txt #on poetry

[theabigailthorn]

You're not uniquely talented or hard working you just went to the right schools.

Yes, yes! This is exactly why I started Philosophy Tube! Why shouldn't someone else, anyone else, have access to the education I got??? The intellectual and cultural heritage of our species is for everyone, not just privileged people like me! :)

#something else I'm learning from friends with ADHD is that I'm privileged to have the kind of brain that works in a way our society rewards #AND the institutions that I was able to attend and use to grow were often themselves the product of a society that not only excluded #but actively exploited other people! #And still do! #So not only should we widen access #We should give people the power to critique those institutions too #Education should give you power over your own life

[mobius-m-mobius]

Mobius, I know you’re trying to help me, but we should be dealing with the bigger problem here. He Who Remains.

#mobius #loki #lokius #mcuedit #marveledit #lokiedit #loki spoilers #them crammed in the corner only to pan across a whole damn mile of empty space to that poor employee took me OUT 💀🤣 #and loki trying to move even closer!!! #no matter which timeline they'll never learn personal space i'm sure of it 🙏💖 #and fr their chemistry... god i'd watch them go back and forth on a topic of choice over literally any other media in existence #also i'm so obsessed w/ the way owen says 'horrible' PLEASE don't ask how many times i've replayed the clip .___. #owen wilson #marvel #owenwilsonedit #dianagifs

[bubblingsteam]

#disco elysium #disco elysium fanart #kim kitsuragi #harrier du bois #harry du bois #this is probably one of my fav conversations in the game... #sad that not many people get to see it(?) cause you need like 7 in empathy? #comics #comic art #trans #cw blood #blood #cw smoking #my first time making a comic i hope it looks okay lmao #ough i have so many thoughts about kim and his complicated relationship with his name #im interpreting the dialogues in a very transgender way but its definitely about his racial identity too #cause its a *seolite* name #another factor of him not being seen as a revacholian #and its one of the only things he has left of his parents too #i wonder if the name kim is seen as more masculine or feminine in seol and in other isolas? #im definitely *not* projecting haha #i read once in a fic that kim *attempted* to translate his parents' letters when he was young #10/10 fic made me cry #thats why i decided to add the seolite dictionary - i dont think kim would have *tried* to learn seolite otherwise #he definitely has some kind of internalized racism he needs to get over #sorry for rambling #my art

[your-turn-to-role]

moment of appreciation again for what is possibly my favourite later game percy quote that everyone always forgets about

(said to vex, of course)

#another thing tlovm hasn't touched on yet that i hope they do (bc next season would be a great place for it) - #both percy and vex struggle so much with anger issues and holding grudges #and the reason they work so well together is because literally a few minutes before their first kiss #they make a commitment to helping each other learn how to forgive even when it's hard - because that's the only way to grow #percy had orthax and vex had saundor both who fed on those impulses and tried to turn them into their worst selves #and they both could very easily have fallen to that! but they don't want to. so they're going to keep each other on the right track #and this is really the pinnacle of it #percy being able to recognise when he really wants to hurt someone and going hmm nope vex seems to be objective here im gonna listen to vex #cr1 #c1e99 #percy de rolo #vex'ahlia #perc'ahlia #cr thoughts

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

After months of deliberation, I have decided to restart Poorly-Drawn-MDZS with a brand new style!

[Episode Directory]  [First] -> Next

#poorly drawn mdzs #mdzs #wei wuxian #lan wangij #no need to look at the date or anything. #All of my hard work with learning both traditonal and digital artforms has been leading to this very moment #Proud to say that I have achieved the level of skill necessary to capture the emotional complexities of this story #restarting the comic just made so much sense too! I only got half way in a year #why not do it all over again? #More comics coming very soon.

[damconcha]

One of my favorite things about the ASL Brothers is the fact that Ace was the one brought out the sake and proposed becoming brothers.

Not Luffy or Sabo but Ace.

Ace, who believes he is unlovable, Ace who believes that his blood is dirty, Ace who believes that he didn’t deserve to be born, Ace who thinks that his life is worthless, Ace who believes that his mere existence is a crime.

And yet Ace saw these two boys and approached them without apprehension or fear of rejection even though he was proposing something as irrevocable, something as bonding as brotherhood

#not to mention ace had these thoughts bc this is how the WORLD sees him #that world put these thoughts into his head and made him believe that #but sabo and luffy only see him. not gol d. or even portgas d. but just ace. #the way ace knew that they wanted this just as much as he did #like he is theirs and they are his and he knew that #i remember learning that ace proposed it and being *so surprised* #cause we had just seen that ace had no self worth and hated himself #but he knew that they accepted him and that they wanted him in their lives #and he decided to make it permanent #they are his family. they are his safe place. they love him unconditionally. #DO YOU GUYS GET WHAT IM TRYING TO SAY #goddd these brothers make me so ill #it’s 2am so if this doesn’t make sense that’s why #i am thinking so many thoughts #i’ll probably delete this later #portgas d. ace #asl brothers #one piece #concha speaks #asl rambles #concha posts

[originalartblog]

I can excuse Dazai not trying to nullify Shibusawa's fog because Fyodor was there, and they really could have just incapacitated Dazai and gone right back to their nefarious plan

but the facts are that Shibusawa was unknowingly keeping himself alive as a singularity and Dazai can nullify singularities, so there was a much less convoluted way to stop him.

#edit: now with bonus in the notes #dazai had no way of knowing shibusawa died because of atsushi years ago AND he was already out when fyodor made the big twist reveal #so he can only learn the facts from atsushi after it already ended #this is filed under my 'dazai fucks up big time' category #i wrote a post about it on my main some months ago and i watched dead apple again recently so i decided to illustrate this ksjfdhkjgh #bsd #bungo stray dogs #bungou stray dogs #bsd fanart #bsd dead apple #dead apple #bsd atsushi #bsd dazai #bsd nakajima atsushi #bsd dazai osamu #nawy's comics #i decided i'm impatient tonight i'm posting it now

[ventresses]

Star Wars: The Clone Wars (4/?) - Quinobi

Star Wars + Text Posts & Headlines

#in retrospect this is based WAY more on my Quinobi headcanons than the reality of Quinlan's character #plus i'd only seen this episode and read the first part of Dark Disciple #so i was going off of that like flirty and laid-back bro energy when making these #i've come to learn broader canon and legends his character is portrayed with a lot more depth #and i regret that these memes don't do that justice #quinlan vos #obi wan kenobi #quinobi #star wars #star wars the clone wars #hunt for ziro #tcw memes #star wars memes #mine #star wars text post #TCW text post #the clone wars

[riickgrimes]

2.03 // 2.08

#the bear #thebearedit #the bear spoilers #sydcarmy #sydcarmyedit #carmy berzatto #dailyflicks #televisiongifs #jeremy allen white #userlolo #usersophie #usergreta #mine and only mine #idk i just feel a type of way about this #like this is very important to me #HE'S TRYING #he wants to do better for her #if he's wrong he wants to know so he can do better next time #he doesn't want to lose her and is willing to LISTEN and LEARN #like that is so important #*** #thousand

[sandflakedraws]

so i'm readin various stuff on the xray cause this silly film is my current source of joy and

wait

hold up.

what...

WAHT ??? WHAT

XRAY CAST DESCRIPTION????

YEARS???

xrAY dESCRIPTION eXPLaIN!!! WHAT DO YOU MEAN FLOYD WAS HELD CAPTIVE FOR YEARS, WHAT SECRET INFO DO U HAVE ACCESS TO???

#joey babbles #trolls band together #trolls floyd #I. don't know what to do with this random snippet #to be fair - #each description of the brozone bros expands a little bit further than the films do (ex. clay being a prankster) so is this. is this canon? #no? yes? half? #did velvet and veneer have him for years and only recently explode on the scene cause they got like. a big break? #some financial backing? a viral video? spotlight on spotify? #were they just experimenting with the best way to harvest a troll's core and only recently hit the jackpot method? #we never learn how the spritz bottle was made in the first place #my brain is bungled . #y. years....?

[ruporas]

i killed. i murdered. i'm nothing like these sleepy people here… nevertheless, you can actually be grateful? bastard… i’m saying… thank you. because you spilled blood, you saved all of these people’s lives. i couldn’t have done it without you. (ID in alt)

#vashwood #vash the stampede #nicholas d wolfwood #trigun #trigun maximum #participated in altades' dance collab :3 very grateful for the opportunity and many thanks to them for organizing this! #there was a lot of vw arc choices... but i went for the leonof arc bc it's a dear vw moment to me #i think a lot of the leonof arc further breaks down vash's ideology and for the readers - together with ww- to learn that his ideals aren't #pure naivety and that vash knows he's at an odd standpoint with himself. he's criticized ww for shooting rai-dei just prior when ww had don #so on the behalf of vash but here he thanks him for killing on behalf of his home and its genuine. bc vash's presence - although it's not #his fault - he was the reason leonof and gray had gotten to the ship and killed people there. that's the guilt he has to live with and #despite his anger he'd still resolute not to kill. meanwhile ww just did what he had to - beating down on a seemingly immortal monster but #at the core made up of many lives he had to take and i feel as the fight dragged on - his own mentality waned. committing active carnage #while remembering the orphanage... and bearing that guilt alongside the words vash left with him during rai-dei's death #only for vash to thank him afterwards what he's done and for apologizing for pushing his beliefs on ww when he had no solutions of his own #anyway. i just have so an immense love for this arc bc they just got around to appreciating each other in weird ways. though ofc its still #weird and confusing for ww bc every new info on vash it'll just be strange to him as someone who's human #ruporas art