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4dbarbie-archive · 8 months

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4dbarbie interview: All about Desires

4dkelly notes: I had fun making this in an interview style Q&A between 4dbarbie and Vanessa. I thought "how would 4dbarbie answer anon questions if she were still here today?". Spoiler alert, it wouldn't be much different to the questions anons asked her lol. Most answers are just directly extracted from her posts/answered asks but some have been adapted a bit or rearranged to make it flow better. I have added some relevant posts for further reading. I may or may not make more of these. This was mainly just for fun (but then it really evolved into an educational piece lol). My highlight key: key concepts are in pink, action points in purple, really important points in red

Vanessa: I really like this guy and want to manifest him. 😢 How do I do that?

4dbarbie: IMAGINE KNOWING ALL THIS AND STRESSING OVER A GUY?!?!? Unbelievable. Who's holding you at gun point to type this out to me??? 😧😧😧 I refuse to believe this is what this material is getting wasted on. I refuse to believe this is the understanding you guys have after I explained who you are in so many ways. Imagine liking someone who didn't text you back right after to tell you how amazing you are as well 🤮 what do you like about this nobody? You want to give me a heart attack? I tell you there is no one out there but you and instead of being free and loving yourself you... you give a crumb of your precious attention to this? I tell you you are life and you try to make life better through dates?

Vanessa: Okay but what about my other desires? I want them...

4dbarbie: Everything about Vanessa is meaningless. She has a life and if it's boring, who cares? Forget it. What do you need these stories for? Do you not understand they have reality because you give it to them? YOU! They have no standing on their own! The whole world is just your mere thought. The body exists because you are aware of it being! Only you have this power. Only you are. Why are you dreaming like this? Gosh, you break my heart. If Vanessa is hurting you why do you keep on choosing her?

Vanessa: Then what should I do? I still have things I desire despite knowing I cannot desire because I am not a person, ego, mind...

4dbarbie: You know it intellectually, but have you acted on it at all? You know yourself as Vanessa by acting like Vanessa, know yourself as your Self by acting like yourself. Desires and fears dissipate then. You have desires still because you never stopped thinking you're Vanessa. Investigate who Vanessa actually is :) Spoiler alert: it's a thought! Think something else and see what happens.

Vanessa: How long will this take? When will I see a change?

4dbarbie: Now. Who is doing the change in attitude, what are you waiting for to happen for you to change your attitude? It's instant. You see it, you realize you have no reason to worry/doubt/desire/fear anymore, let things happen as they happen while you're undisturbed and they dissolve.

Vanessa: Should I just keep assuming that I don't desire things anymore because I already have it while I'm denying and dismissing my senses? It feels like I'm just waiting and being delusional though

4dbarbie: Your world is right and perfect, what you see is what you are so even if you're seeing what 'you' don't want, the world is not wrong in being what it is. Fearing it, trying to manipulate it, lying to yourself about it being something different - all useless and vain attempts.

Not seeing the world as it is, is an aversion to it. - Lester Levenson

See it as it is and it will fix itself.

And no, being delusional is not good, it leads you not to trust your own judgment or senses. Which is not right, why shouldn't you? What is wrong with your vision? Being delusional from your ego self is really harmful, someone could be abusing you and you would go "i'm sure that's not right he loves me so much in my mind!!!"

You won't be able to get rid of the waiting feeling as long as you're identified with your ego, it can manipulate nothing. And if you weren't your ego -- everything would already be materialized, so there would be nothing to wait for.

Vanessa: Well since I Am and I give life to everything, when Vanessa desires something, I can just "give" her her desires, right?

4dbarbie: The desire that *I*... the desire is of Vanessa, the Self can have that and it's nothing to it. It's just another experience. Those things are in you, not you in them.

You don't have to give her anything... you don't have to fulfill anybody... I Am is already everything... you only don't see you are all and have the all because you won't stop thinking you're the ego. All you're doing all the time is creating lack & limitation, perfection already is. You just add unsatisfying labels constantly with your wrong thinking.

Let go of the thinking, it's instant. No need to fulfill anybody. 1 My tip is to realize your Self, have enough courage to face Vanessa's fears. See how unnecessary is to pay them any mind at all. Let go of thinking you are this little helpless thing already. After you realize yourself, any bold assertion does it. There's no time delay. 2

Vanessa: Now I feel defeated, do I just give up on everything then?

4dbarbie: Feeling defeat is actually good, it prompts you to let go :D You don't need to reach for what is already within you. Give up the idea that you have not found it and just let it come into the focus of direct perception, here and now, by letting go of all that is of the mind.

Abandon all sense of separation, see yourself in all and act accordingly - Nisargadatta Maharaj

You have it, all is well. Just stop believing the illusions born out of thinking you're a person.

Vanessa: So as Awareness, I have to stop desiring?

4dbarbie: If you know yourself to be Awareness, then you know yourself to be the all. There is nothing to desire, because you have no reason to create desire.

That's why it's necessary to realize all that is is awareness and the person comes second. If you think all that is is the person, then the chances of believing you're suddenly a different person are slim, and the persuasion and convincing are nothing but a form of self-instilled mental torture. 1 All you're doing is imagining/thinking you're an ego who has to strive for things, but it is "I AM" imagining itself to be so.

What is beyond is clear of all striving. The cause of suffering is in the identification of the perceiver with the perceived. - Nisargadatta Maharaj

When that identification ceases, so does desire. Then, if you want to express yourself as being a person, nothing is stopping you from doing so, only know yourself first. After that, no matter what you choose to experience the world as, you will know you are not it and it can't hurt you.

Vanessa: What do I do when a desire or fear comes to my mind then? It doesn't feel right to suppress them...

4dbarbie: I am not talking of suppression. Just refuse attention. Nisargadatta has a saying "When you happen to walk in a crowd, you do not fight every man you meet — you just find your way between." Neville has another "Indifference is the knife that severs, feeling is the tie that binds." When you refuse to play the game, you are out of it.

Vanessa: Then how do I stop feeling anxious about trying to change my life?

4dbarbie: You are not the one who is anxious or fearful, the ego is fearful. LOA was wrong about letting go because you can't let go of desires or fears if you don't know who you really are. If you think you are this ego you can't help being anxious. You can't help wanting to get. Real surrendering can only be of the ego. By letting go of who you think you are and seeing you were never it in the first place, that it is because YOU are, you naturally drop all desires and fears because they weren't yours. 1 Get into a habit of watching, letting them be but not identifying with them. If you can observe them, it means you are not them.

Abandon all imaginings and know yourself as you are. All craving is due to a sense of insufficiency. When you know that you lack nothing, that all there is, is you and yours, desire ceases. - Nisargadatta Maharaj

Vanessa: How do I stop feeling doubts then?

4dbarbie: You shut them down. There is no reason to argue with them, contemplate them, or give them any kind of attention at all. See them for what they are, an illusion of the mind. When you catch yourself being aware of something that's undesirable, just go 'What problem?' and know it to be perfect again. Always remember, the real you can't have doubts, only your ego can.

Vanessa: I feel like I'm not doing enough to realize my true Self. How can I be more productive on this journey?

4dbarbie: There's nothing to be productive about. What a silly concept. Don't add another burden or worry onto yourself. Right now you make yourself guilty over not seeking more and doing more to attain realization, but you already have it. You need not take time to meditate or put time aside to contemplate and "apply". All you need to do is detach from this form during the day, let life happen as it happens while reminding yourself it's a dream, a dream that doesn't have to be yours.

The guilt is because you think you're running out of time and you need to change "your" life now. Be patient with yourself because you don't lose any time, just get to that place I'm telling you about and then you can just go back in time if you so wish. All worry is pointless! And there is nothing to fear, things just happen, do not claim them as yours for a while. Unclutter your mind, it becomes your servant after you've freed it enough.

#interview #4dbarbie #nonduality #non duality #nondualism #non dualism

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hadesoftheladies · 9 days

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why you should have hope for separatism:

-this is one of the first times in history where women en masse are educated and (are expected to) participate in the working class which means now more than ever women are better equipped to take care of their own financial needs (even with all the tradwife influencers, not many women will be able to convert because house-wifery is strictly limited to the upper-class, which is shrinking more and more, so most women will always have to work anyways, and most women see this! even the ones that joke about being housewives/strippers are serious about their careers!)

-separatism is mostly non-action. it is strategic non-interaction with men or male media which makes it extremely accessible and easy to replicate across cultures. it removes women from exploitative relationships with men. this means the only thing you need to do to convince women to become separatists is attack the idea that their lives will be unfulfilled without men. and more women and girls are embracing that culture simply because of their experiences (and access to education)!

-late stage capitalism and the rise of blatant misogyny men display is radicalizing women. which means more and more women are open to living together and raising children together romantically/platonically. (literally every woman i've talked to who's unmarried lives with their parents or wants to live with women because men are genuinely an unattractive option--thank you men for showing your asses <3)

-the internet and globalization positions women from all over the world to share their experiences (and we have many shared experiences), which means consciousness-raising has never been faster or easier or more powerful!

-men and boys are failing and dropping out of school way more than women and girls which means that women and girls are on the way to dominating academia and relevant industries! women will make up more of the skilled workers in future job markets which means that women who are educated now will likely be better off and more pursued financially than men. women's influence in society is increasing! think about it. as much as male violence is increasing, male literacy and competence and skill is DECREASING (even nepotism or sexism will not be enough to fix that problem because hiring men will still result in profit losses and other financial inconveniences). in short, male culture is killing men!

-resistance to pornography and understanding the evils of pornography are also increasing. awareness of male violence is increasing!

please read more literature on separatist strategies and don't think whatever is happening on tiktok/IG is how all women think. most women irl are not stupid enough to trade in their jobs for prostitution because women don't actually want that. many women i've talked to in real life also don't want children (in these conditions or at all)! they aren't radfems but they still have self-preservation instincts and intelligence!

there is literally so many ways we can use the current sociopolitical climate to our advantage. it is too early to give up. like wayyyy to fucking early.

#radblr #sometimes things aren't as dire as radblr makes it seem #or the internet #start talking to women at work!#separatism #hope tag #feminism

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fablepaint · 6 months

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I don’t know if I’m allowed to ask anything here, but I wanted to know something. How is it like being a director of an animation? What’s your ideology when it comes to directing?

Messages anytime all the time

caffeinecaffeinecaffeine

body exhausted, enforces its own breaks

hard to go out, ever

STRESSSSS

MAAATHHH

wheredidmybraingo?

*smashed body part* thatll heal up finnnne. i dont have time for doctor!

ohgoddontfuckitup dontbeTHATguy ohfuckohshit

i love my partner i cant believe he puts up with this

hug every pet. theyre my emotional sponges.

manic creative spurts followed by sheepish anxiety.

PaPERWORK

hurry up and wait, times a thousand.

hope you like data sheets!

delegateDAMMIT

And thats when it's running smoothly!

otherwise my approach is to try and reflect the best examples of leadership and guidance IRL ive experienced. Mostly, from quality college professors Ive known. Tom Sito in particular exemplified a lot of what i strive to be. He was also formerly guild president and i think teaching your crew to view themselves as a collective that supports each other is vital to ensuring not just that they work together well, but also should anyone try to take advantage of them, they'll curbstomp them. I want them to be capable even in my absence, beyond the project, and able to run their own projects competently in the future.

i should be the one who guides and educates people into giving what's needed for the shot. Pain and blood are unwanted elements in that recipe. Theyre distractions and energysappers, red flags of a problem not a badge of honor.

Ideally, i barely have to do more than gently steer the work. And if ive communicated what im looking for effectively, theyre all plenty good at doing the work without me hovering over them.

if the work needs more guidance than that, then i roll up my sleeves and dive in as well. And figure out what the problem was, log it, and let that educate everyone else too (good documentation is essential).

i try to exhaust every option i have before blaming the person working on it for all the issues. Sometimes that is the problem, but even then i need to approach it neutrally and ask what human solution is required then. Do they need a break? was this not the right shot for them? is their way of processing the communication different than i expected? is there a translation problem?

in which case give people space to figure out some of that without judgement. Sometimes that means leaving for a bit, or permanently. But dont chase them. Just let them have their own life.

The only things i cant abide by are lack of communication that results in putting stress on the rest of the team. Consistent lying about availability and ball dropping despite constant outreach means someone has to pick up the slack without enough time or energy stocked up to take on the extra work. Anything that ends up exacerbating stress makes me upset.

But even then, it's still my job to spot the signs of this and make necessary adjustments before it becomes a problem. Including identifying where I made a miscalculation in hiring.

The buck always ALWAYS stops with me. I have the power to adjust the system to make it better, which means i gotta have a good grasp on that system.

#lackadaisy #life #question #answer

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juneknight · 7 months

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Hand Covers Mouth

Kink: sex pollen/aphrodisiac

About this: Takes place during canon events, Steven/fem!reader, Marc/fem!reader.

Let’s split up, Layla had said. She tacked on a hurried, ‘You with Steven? Be careful!’ before nearly sprinting off down a tunnel, leaving you (her scowling friend) and Steven (a mesmerized puppy) alone in a sandy tomb.

Look, you understood it was complex. Steven shared a body with her (soon to be? Possibly?) ex-husband, after all; but in your mind, that gave her even more of a reason to be the one responsible for him. Absently, your hand reaches down to lay your palm on the holster where your gun rests. You have no doubt that Harrow’s minions would kill without qualm. While you would not find it so easy to digest, you would do whatever you had to, to keep yourself safe.

To keep Steven safe. No matter what—

“What are you doing?” you ask at a frantic whisper. Steven is barely visible in the darkness where he is brushing sand and dust, centuries of time away from the hieroglyphics on the wall.

He glances back over his shoulder at you, giving you his typical expression of an adorable animal who fears they are about to be on the receiving end of a harsh kick in the rump, but who is so thrilled by their own discovery that they hardly care. He points to the wall.

“Reading these hieroglyphics,” says Steven. “Think they might be important.”

You glance toward the wall. You are not like Steven or Layla, able to read the symbols. You did not have the same practical and personal education which they had so tediously earned for themselves over the years. At the base of the wall sits a gilded table, the bottom of each leg morphing into the paw of some great cat. Some of the items around it are unrecognizable, turned to rubble, after so many years. But resting on top of it, there are a set of neat little figurines inlaid with moldavite, glittering black in the darkness.

“You don’t think—the ushabti?”

“Not likely,” Steven admits with a frown. “But some of the wall has crumbled here, can’t make out the rest, can I? It does say that this is powerful. Maybe we should take these to Layla and have her look at them.”

You fight the urge to scowl again. Layla. Steven was always trailing after Layla…

Alright, perhaps you had another reason for being so sour at Steven’s mention of your closest friend. How could you help being enamored with him, with his big brown eyes, with his undying enthusiasm, with his gentle heart and scathing wit? But Steven didn’t look at you like that. He was always too busy looking at Layla.

When you look at him, the expression of hope on his face is painful. You do your best to bite back any sarcastic or caustic replies. He truly doesn’t deserve them. It isn’t his fault he doesn’t reciprocate your feelings.

“We don’t have time to hunt down Layla with every artifact we find,” you remind him gently. “And we don’t have time to search every little artifact for significance, either.”

He leans against the wall, like some suave Don Juan from a movie.

“Life’s about stopping to smell the roses, love, or stopping to find the roses if no roses immediately present—oh—oh bugger.” Steven slips, more of the wall crumbling away beneath the weight of his elbow. He stumbles into the little golden table—and off go all three of the little figurines, smashing into brittle pieces on the stone floor, the sound deafening in the silence around you.

“Oh my gods,” Steven says, both hands coming up to clutch at his curls. “Oh no, I deserve prison. Oh look what I’ve done—these were thousands of years old and I just destroyed them—”

“Steven—” Your words die in your throat. Your heart begins to race, breathing becoming fast and shallow. He looks up at you from where he has knelt on the floor in anxious guilt over the figurines, and you see something in his eyes which you can’t identify. Something sharp. Something hungry.

Then he blinks.

In the distance, you hear the sound of voices calling, none of them the familiar timber of Layla. He reaches out with the reflexes of a snake and grabs you around the waist, dragging you down to his position. One hand—warm, tasting faintly of sweat and sand—clamps over your mouth as he drags you back against his body, making both of your positions smaller as you hide behind a pillar.

Against your back, he is hard.

“Quit it,” he hisses lowly in your ear, and that’s when you realize that it isn’t Steven at all. That posh British accent has dissolved into something relaxed and loose, a Chicagoan accent that you’ve never heard before but would recognize anywhere. Marc. His words register secondarily, and you realize that you are writhing against him, literally arching your back to try to rub your aching cunt against the hard line of his cock.

A whine slips past his hand, and he lets out an angry, shaking breath against the crook of your neck. His free hand reaches around and slips right down the front of your pants. By the time he is cupping your sex with his broad palm, you are soaking wet, aching, already working towards that blissful crest even with the only stimulation being in your own mind.

“It must have been an aphrodisiac,” Marc whispers, barely audible over the raging pulse in your ears. “If I give you some fingers, can you be quiet until they’re gone?”

You nod, exaggeratedly. Truthfully, you aren’t sure. You just know that you would say anything, agree to anything to have any one of his fingers inside you.

He gives you two. You cum straight away, eyes rolling back, pussy clenching around his digits tightly. Marc gives a choked breath at the sensation of your walls squeezing and squeezing his fingers. His hips work once, twice, three times against the curve of your ass and then he stiffens himself, a breathless, nearly inaudible sound of pleasure passing through his lips.

The sweetest fucking sound you’ve ever heard.

The voices in the distance begin to fade away—the sweetest silence.

Then you have a mouthful of sand, Marc’s hand between your shoulder blades pinning you into the ground. You hear the clinking of his belt as he frantically tries to loosen it, and you wiggle your hands beneath you looking for the fasten of your own pants.

“Didn’t want it to go like this,” he says through clenched teeth. You can’t even imagine his expression: something hard and desperate. You wonder if he took over for Steven forcefully or if Steven retreated, anxious at the potent desire that the aphrodisiac evoked in him. “Didn’t want our first time to be like this—”

“Is he okay?” you whisper, working your pants and underwear down at once, arching your back for him. He still has on his boxers, but he’s grown desperate: hands gripping your hips, thighs snapping against the back of your own as he simulates sex with you. Marc makes a perplexed sound. Fuck, his cock feels good, even covered by soft cotton that you’re drenching with your own slick. You struggle for a moment to remember your question. “Steven—is he okay?”

“Steven is—fucking great,” Marc says, laughing a little derisively. “Trust me. Steven’s been wanting to fuck you since the moment he saw you. There’s a little place in my head where’s he’s beating off furiously, I’m sure—”

“You’re such a dick,” you gasp.

“I’ll show you dick, gonna give you mine,” he mutters through his teeth, finally working down his boxers. “Gonna fuck that girlish expression you give Steven all the time right off your face, gonna make it so every time you look at him, you’re thinking about how good my cock fills you.”

“His cock,” you breathe, arching your back more, fingers curling in the sand and scratching the stone beneath. “His cock too.”

“Yeah yeah,” says Marc testily, finally resting the head of his cock at your entrance. He slips in with one devastating, life-changing thrust. “We’ll test that theory when I let him out for his turn.”

#marc spector x reader #steven grant x reader

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theywhowriteandknowthings · 6 months

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Warning: Discourse incoming.

I told myself I’d never get involved in these kinds of discussion because I’m a firm believer in “You do you/No Kink shaming etc.” But this one is a fairly serious one. It’s long, I’m not putting a cut in there, but please just hear me out.

There’s a disturbing trend in some fic writing I’ve noticed lately, and I have to say something about it.

We all know I’m a sucker for dark fics, be it CNC, dubcon, even non-con and horror elements, so I’m not here trying to tone/content police people’s writing. I want to make it very clear that this is not about vilifying people who write dark stuff, or things I’m not into. Hell, if I don’t want to read something, I check the tags and warnings and nope out before I get the ick. (As everyone should, there’s no point getting yourself wound up or triggered by content you can just simply scroll by.)

However, this is where my current concern comes in.

I’ve seen lots of very prominent writers not giving adequate warnings or disclaimers about the content they write.

I’ve come across a lot of content where Joel (sorry buddy you’re the worst offender here, Ilu tho) is being labelled as a dom – and even more worryingly labelled as a soft dom – when the relationship is not about safe dom/sub relationships/kink.

If Joel is spanking you so hard you can’t sit down in lieu of “teaching you a lesson” when there’s clear lack of enthusiastic consent (or often any consent at all) this is not s/m, this is abuse.

If you’re having your readers receive physical or sexual punishment for actual life slip ups/non-role play scenarios, you’re glorifying abuse.

If you’re not labelling your fics correctly, you’re being negligent to your readers, and this should be a safe space for us all to read and create without being unduly triggered because we had inadequate or no forewarning.

For example:

Javi P kisses a girl, you make him pay for it in a way that is clearly pre-established (you have to spell it out people) as consensual in your relationship? Kink.

Joel spanking the shit out of you because a man flirted with you in a bar? Abuse.

Din edging you until you cry because you were competing in how much you could make the other jealous in a pre-agreed dynamic? Kink.

Joel denying you sex, or fucking you without prep/making you cum because you did something to annoy him/he doesn’t agree with and you aren’t enjoying yourself? Abuse.

I thought we were over this with the discourse that came about around 50 Shades, but clearly not. So please, tag your fics with appropriate/adequate warnings. As a survivor of sexual abuse and grooming, I need to know if your fic is going to contain and/or glorify these things. Again, I’m not saying don’t write these things, but it is your responsibility to tag adequately.

It’s a simple concept that I see applied across the board with age gaps and power dynamics, and most of the time people get it right. But when posts with 1k+ interactions are explicitly abusive, with no warnings other than S/M dynamics or “soft dom!Joel” when it’s anything but soft, aren’t just triggering to some, they’re harmful.

You can’t have a healthy relationship with Joel (again sorry buddy) if that relationship contains thinly veiled or brazen abusive elements.

If you don’t know the difference between coercive behaviour, sexual or physical abuse, and safe, consensual kink, you need to educate yourself for your own benefit, and that of your readers.

Feel free to reach out to chat with me about this, I’m not here to run and gun, but I will not tolerate any form of abuse or unkindness (on either side of the aisle) here.

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geminimoonmadness · 1 year

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ASTEROIDS ☄️

Part 2 ♡♡ Copywrites reserved©️GeminiMoonMadness

CONJUNCT VENUS EDITION♡

The conjunctions of these asteroids to your natal venus should be within an orb of 0°-5°, the tighter the degree the more prominent it will be in your life.

≣≣≣≣≣≣≣≣≣≣≣≣≣≣≣≣≣≣≣≣≣≣≣≣≣≣≣≣≣

Camelot (9500) Conjunct Venus

Gives you an idealistic & visionary nature. Moral & ethical beliefs play an essential role in your life. The home may become a place of importance in their life.

Castalia (4769) Conjunct Venus

Gives you clarity of thought & eloquence. Also gifts you with an unlimited imagination.

Cupido (763) Conjunct Venus

Will put an emphasis on themes of lust, pleasure, joy, delight and sensuality in your life.

Cyrene (133) Conjunct Venus

Gives an Independent, assertive & aggressive nature. You may have a love for physical activity, athletics, combat and the outdoors.

Dudu (564) Conjunct Venus

You may reject religion and strive towards your own personal ideal of perfection & power.

Eugenisis (743) Conjunct Venus

Pursuits relating to child birth, creativity, invention, initiation and commencement are favoured.

Faina (751) Conjunct Venus

The significance of marriage and working partnerships may be emphasised in your life.

Freia (76) Conjunct Venus

Gives you a love for pleasure. Personal charm, beauty and love may play an essential role in your life.

Frostia (854) Conjunct Venus

Gives you a inclination towards scientific pursuits as well as an interest in athletics & intellectual activities/studies. You may be the type of person to help provide aid to colleagues in need. Also themes involving winter and the cold may be sign to you.

Hyrbis (430) Conjunct Venus

There is the possibility of bad manners/rudeness, over confidence and vanity to manifest which can bring your life to ruins if the individual is not self aware.

Aesculapia (1027) Conjunct Venus

Gives a talent and/or interest in the therapeutic, medicinal & medical pursuits. Grants you with good health and a long life, otherwise alternatively, you will have this concept on your mind frequently.

Agina (847) Conjunct Venus

Grants you with ethical virtues, holiness, morality & innocence. Similar to the asteroid above, there may be an inclination towards the healing & medicinal arts.

Aslog (962) Conjunct Venus

Gives you a stormy early life but you eventually rise to a position of power at one stage in your lifetime. You may have extraordinary yet estranged ancestors/relatives.

Asmodeus (2174) Conjunct Venus

May bring attention to lower aspects of one’s being. You may have strong carnal urges & base desires.

Iris (7) Conjunct Venus

You may have a swift, adaptable, transient & unpredictable nature. You have a tendency to instigate communication and mutual understanding. You may serve as a courier, informant, diplomat or mediator. Your boundaries are often crossed

Isis (42) Conjunct Venus

You have a highly compassionate, productive & helpful nature. Gifted with the power to create, revive, nurture & sustain life. You may be involved in healing and caring for others.

Jole (836) Conjunct Venus

You may attract the undesired attention of others. Your charm may come with consequences for your home & family.

Kressmannia (800) Conjunct Venus

Christianity may be of importance to you. Also grants you with an interest in philanthropy.

London (8837) Conjunct Venus

Gives you an interest to the place London itself. You may have an interest in the culture, lifestyle, delicacies, scenery, etc.

Marion (506) Conjunct Venus

Puts an emphasis on the relationship between cousins. Women, especially female relatives play a crucial role in your life.

Mathesis (454) Conjunct Venus

Gives you a lifelong love for knowledge and education. Gives you a talent in mathematics and science. (You’d make a great teacher!)

Oriola (701) Conjunct Venus

Gives you an optimistic, cheerful, high-spirited & prideful personality. You have a talent for vocal expression.

Pales (49) Conjunct Venus

Gives you a passion to care for and handle/manage animals.

Phaethon (3200) Conjunct Venus

Gives radiant, fearless, overly vain, self absorbed & attention seeking characteristics. These individuals may overestimate their abilities.

Roswitha (615) Conjunct Venus

You may find fame through your work. You are the type of person to challenge society’s assumptions about gender.

Stargazer (8958) Conjunct Venus

You have an imaginative & visionary personality. There is an interest in astrological and celestial studies. You absolutely love the night sky and stars.

Ulrike (885) Conjunct Venus

You may have a strong sense of allegiance with friends & family. Possibly have keen, fierce & aggressive instincts. You have divinatory, intuitive or prophetic talent (psychic ability).

Valda (262) Conjunct Venus

You have the ability to lead and command others. You have a courageous, energetic and confident nature.

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Let me know if you have any of these placements!

Ps- I appreciate interactions & feedback of all kindsツ

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taurusreads · 10 months

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what do they want you to know?

masterlist || paid services || ko-fi

messages from spirit, a significant other,

passed loved one, etc.

pile one

overall energy: king of swords

im sending masculine energy straight off the bat here. that doesn’t mean that the person is male per say, just that they give off more masculine energy than feminine. i think this could be someone that you used to talk to, and are possibly talking to again, or someone that you’ve just been having more contact with as of late. this person could have heavy air placements.

i think that there could have been a falling out at some point, and the blame is more so coming from their part. they feel guilty, and want you to let them back into your life. i think they could want a second chance if they get close enough, whether this be platonic or romantic. i think at some point during your separation you had a leveling up, and they definitely noticed that.

i think this is more of a message to say call back your power. if there was a choice that your gut has been forcing you to make, or an idea that won’t leave your head, then go for it. trust the voice in the back of your head when it tells you something. the only opinion about you that should be important to you is your own. the only person who you should need to be happy for you and routing for you is yourself. your own thoughts and opinions will make you feel more than anything anyone else says.

channeled messages: purple, black, self help, self sabotage, relationships, 555, masculine, karmic, meditate, reading, educate, progress, air signs, air placements, family, reliance, love, hugs,

pile two

overall energy: the tower

i think that you might have just come out of a hard period of your life. whether that be coming of age, heartbreak, grieving, etc. you’ve been through it for a while now, but you’ve finally come out of the worst end of it. i feel light, like a weight was taken off of my shoulders finally.

i think you should take some time to take care of yourself right now. stay in this unbothered phase for as long as you can. take note of how you feel, how your body feels, your emotions, etc. how do you feel day to day when you feel this good? enjoy it because i feel like there was a period when you wanted something so bad that you couldn’t let go of it. not being able to let go is going to be your worst enemy. the outcome you want will come so long as you affirm it. if you believe it will happen, then it will happen. don’t cry over spilled milk, there’s better things in store. step into you masculine energy. we all have it in us, there should be an equal amount of masculine and feminine. you have to balance out yours now. you may have gotten what you wanted, but thankfully, the work doesn’t stop here. start figuring out what it is you want out of life next.

you’re starting to take the time to figure out what it is that you want out of life exactly. you’re leveling up in a new way because you’re starting to learn what it is that life means to you. this beautiful energy needs to be accompanied by hard work though. it’s time to put in the extra work to get the things you really want.

channeled messages: yellow, release, 999, “leave the past in the past and start anew”, empath, meditation, manifestations, “you ask and you shall receive”, friends, self love

pile three

overall energy: the hierophant

i think you’re a very patient person. your someone who values their work and education heavily, you may even be interested in teaching as a profession. i feel like you’ve been in a beautiful time of your life for a while now, and you’re happier than you’ve ever been. there’s a certain relationship that could use some work possibly, as far as communication goes. im getting masculine energy from this but of course, that does not mean they are a male.

i think you’re protective over your energy in a very healthy way. it’s very hard to get into your inner circle but that’s because your energy is so special that you can’t afford to give it away that easily. i think someone around you really admires that. they love the way that you can stay unbothered and keep pushing forward towards your goals. you just seem to keep going up up up and they’re soooo proud of you. i honestly think you’re a little surprised by yourself as well. but soak in this feeling. enjoy the fruits of your labor. treat yourself, have fun. you DESERVE IT.

you don’t have to be so humble. you did something that many aspire to do, and many don’t have the courage to. you faced your demons and used the newfound strength to build yourself up into a new person. you didn’t change who you were, you just became assured in who you were. but i’ve never said that it was wrong to be a little vain sometimes. we all get to have our moments, you included. it doesn’t make you mean, it doesn’t make you stuck up, it just makes you confident. now im not saying flaunt it all the time, but do things out of the ordinary that are tailored to YOU and what YOU need. have a whole day dedicated to the things you want to do and how you want to take care of yourself. you deserve to enjoy the rewards you reaped from working so hard.

>>:((((( SPOIL YOURSELF!!!!!

channeled messages: green, 111, princess, lighting, mother yourself, follow your heart, you’ve made it, believe it, spoiled, im seeing the pinterest core with the sparkly dresses and designer handbags but it’s blurry and shit, solo dates, find inspiration, we’re all routing for you :(

#pick a card #love tarot reading #pick a card tarot #pick a pile tarot #tarot #tarot community #tarot reader #tarot readings #astrology #divination #taurusreads

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lilisgardensblog · 4 months

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"In due time."

Wasn't it so convenient- you, neuvillette and an empty court room?

What seemed like an usual,boring afternoon in Fontaine, turned out to be the most exciting day you've ever had at work. Or in your life, for that matter.

You walked to the Palais Mermonia as usual to assist Monsieur Neuvillette since you were his new secretary. It wasn't a hard job but.. it wasn't an easy one either. The thing is it didn't come with a particular set of rules or any particular tasks for that matter. You were working for a week already, not sure if you're doing things right or not. He's always buried in paperwork or running around doing some errands, which probably were your job. But you didn't think Neuvillette knew that, leaving you to sit on the couch sipping tea in his office all day.

Deciding to take matters into your own hands, you go to see Neuvillette in his office only for the nice melusine outside to let you know that Monsieur is not in his office at the moment but you're welcome to wait. You smile politely and refuse the melusine's offer to go look for Neuvillette by yourself. As his secretary, you were supposed to have his schedule, buy his lunch, help ease his work. But all this needed communication between the two and right now you don't even know where he was. Walking around all over Fontaine you finally found him, at the Opera House, sitting in his chair and looking over an empty court room. "Monsieur?" you whisper gently, not wanting to scare him by accident. Neuvillette jumps a little at the sudden noise then salutes you and invites you up, beside him.

"What troubles your mind, Monsieur?" He lowers his gaze, thinking before answering you. "This...is where I got my powers back, fully restored. And... I can't help but wonder..." He looks you in the eyes before asking "Am I making the right choices? Am I leading the people of Fontaine right?" his gaze is filled with doubt and he almost looks scared. You take a step towards him and taking his hand, you answer " I might not know the pressure of being the Iudex, but I know for sure that it's okay to feel scared or uncertain. It shows how much you care for your people and rest assure that you're making the best decisions. You're intelligent, highly educated and you learned to understand humans better than they understand themselves. And this is why I'm here, Monsieur. To help ease your work, to share your burdens and make sure that at the end of the day you're more at ease and relaxed." He gently smiles as you feel the atmosphere changing, realizing you're still holding his hand. Clearing your throat you add "Ahem, but in order to do that, we need to communicate. I need you to speak with me and I think this moment was a great first step. The next step should probably be you giving me your schedule, Monsieur."

Now you made the stoic Iudex actually giggle as he nods in agreement with all that you just said. "I appreciate your help and the fact that you were willing to take this job. You were the only one to show up at what was supposed to be an interview." This time it was your turn to giggle, unsure what to say, but Neuvillette wasn't done. "I'm glad it was you."

Thinking for a second, he continues "Maybe I should interview you since you're not from around here. Where did you say you were from again? Liyue? And I need a list of your previous jobs along with other qualifications you might have." You turn around on your heels ready to go, giggling that only now after a week he is interested in your qualifications.

Neuvillette catches your wrist and you turn around to look at him confused. His eyes are mesmerizing, ocean blue that you could get lost in even with a compass. A strain of his messy caught hair on his face, begging you to caress his face and put it behind his ear. "Monsieur..?" you ask uncertain and regretting immediately when he moved his warm hand away. "Pardon me, but you just left my questions unanswered and I have to admit that you fascinate me." Smiling you take a small step forward and say "In due time." And turn around,leaving Neuvillette more confused than ever "I will answer all your questions in due time, Monsieur. But i believe it's time we head back and you need to introduce me to your- our work."

He catches up to you in two steps, offering his arm for you to take "Let's walk together. It's more pleasant this way and we can have a little conversation on our way back." His expression is almost as stoic as ever, but there's a hint of softness in his gaze that feels meant just for you that warms your heart a little.

Smiling you nod and accept his offer, ready for the scandal the two of you will stir all around Fontaine.

#genshin headcanons #genshin impact #genshin imagines #neuvillette genshin #neuvillette #genshin #genshin x reader #genshin fanfic #genshin x you #genshin impact neuvillette #genshin impact scenarios #genshin impact imagines #genshin fluff #genshin impact fanfiction #neuvilette x reader #neuvilette genshin

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lilithism1848 · 7 months

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What are some advice you give to a young communist?

Hit the gym.

Delete time-waster social media (Facebook, Instagram, etc.) - organize face-to-face with real people. A bit of political discourse online is fine.

Arm yourself. Get guns, and learn how to shoot them. Don't get museum items because "Mosins are cool" or some nonsense, get whatever combat-worthy AR and sidearm is a military standard in your geographic region, depending on where you are that's probably something like an M16, G36, AK-12, or AK-47.

Organize with trustworthy individuals. In case of civil war or anti-socialist genocide, you need people you can rely on (and the reactionaries WILL eventually come for people like us in the West, capitalists never give up without a fight).

Organize a meeting point where you will meet your comrades in case of conflict.

Get good military-grade or better marching/combat boots and always have a full bug-out bag ready. Long-lasting rations for at least a few days, water filter/purification equipment, first aid kit, sleeping equipment, heat blanket, tinder and mechanical lighter, tarp, basic tools like knife, are, rope, etc. (try and stay below 10kg weight without water, add as much water as you can comfortably carry). Do regular training marches with your simulated backpack (10km with 10kg of weight minimum).

Study how to organize at work and build a mutual aid network. Help found unions.

Focus hard on education. The better educated you are the better.

Society is not ready for revolution, yet. So, get a great career that makes money. Yes, participating in capitalism is good, actually. Become as rich and powerful as possible. Make use of all the tools capitalism gives you. Preferably find a collectively owned business but don't be shy about participating in capitalism. Use the power and money you gain along the way to fund and support revolutionaries.

Always remember: It is not your personal responsibility to change the world or jeopardize your own wellbeing by acting according to ideals nobody else shares. As long as you don't personally stand in the way of revolution, your priority should be bettering your own life. Societal change can only be achieved at a societal level, personal responsibility is a liberal myth. Lead the best life you can while promoting socialism.

I know that some of this sounds like paranoid prepper bs and LARPing and will continue to feel like LARPing the entire time until the revolution starts but if you are a revolutionary communist you need to be ready... this is part of any revolution.

Know these "funny" videos where right-wingers stand in a line and make Nazi salutes then "train" by doing 10 push-ups before falling over wheezing, then trying to march in a line completely out of tune with each other while some skinny guy with a swastika tattooed on his face is swinging an SS flag? Yeah, those idiotic-looking guys are more organized more disciplined, and more committed than the overwhelming majority of self-proclaimed Marxist-Leninists in the West.

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asongofstarkandtargaryen · 10 months

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Ok, since you are offended that we point out that bastard stain exists on Westeros we should all stop saying it. Because how dare we to talk about something that canon confirms?

Bastard children were born from lust and lies, men said; their nature was wanton and treacherous. Once Jon had meant to prove them wrong, to show his lord father that he could be as good and true a son as Robb.

The above passage is from Jon’s point of view and covers westerosi beliefs over bastard kids. Jon is has faced discrimination his life for something he can’t control (his status as a bastard). Just because other characters face their own difficulties it doesn’t make Jon’s situation better or the injustice he faces hurt any less.

It’s interesting that you bring up Mya Stone to compare her life with Jon’s. Because Mya’s life only confirms that the bastard stain is real and not an imaginary case. Mya doesn’t belong to nobility. All the point of view characters (with the exception of Davos and Melisandre)were born into nobility and they have some certain privilages over the common folk people. And yes, that includes Jon who grew up in a castle and had a noble education. That doesn’t stop us from sympathize with them and point out the difficulties some of them face in their lives, even as nobles. For example (and since you mentioned her) Daenerys is offered shelter from Illyrio and later on he also gives her the dragon eggs as a gift. He wouldn’t offer the same shelter or gifts to non noble Doreah or Missandei. Noble names bring certain privilages and all the main characters benefit from them.

Why is it tho, that the standard that “someone had it worse” is only applied to Jon then? Instead of acknowledging that he was kid being raised up alongside his siblings and having less prospects than them, which is unfair, some of you try to paint him as a privilaged bastard. As if the bastard stain is something that we should subcribe to in 21st century.

I’m not gonna play the characters olympics of suffering. I know this game is popular in the fandom but it’s irrelevant to what characters will or won’t accomplish. Martin isn’t going to reward any character (Jon and Dany included) because of their suffering. That’s not how these books work.

Moving on, it’s clear that you don’t understand what being handed to something means and since I explained on my previous reply why I don’t think that Jon is simply given stuff, I won’t do it again. Jon is gonna continue being a main character and according to your logic is gonna continue getting things for free:

The revelation of Jon being a Targ: “Jon didn’t work hard to gain the Targaryen status, he simply inherited the name from his father” (like the rest of westerosi characters but whatever)

Jon probably playing a crucial role to defeating the Others “It wasn’t Jon defeating them, it was the Others losing so he shouldn’t get credit”

Jon possibly ending in a position of power “ He didn’t work hard to become a ruler, it was the people who chose him over x character”

You must be fun at parties.

#asoiaf ask #jon snow #a post of ice and fire #valyrianscrolls

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theconstitutionisgayculture · 1 year

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It has become clear to me that pro-choicers (specially pro-aborts) are SO adamant about abortion being available because they see themselves as children, and they think "I could never handle this responsibility! It's way too scary!"

To some degree, I think there's a level of empathy there: they're thinking, "women with hard lives shouldn't have to deal with a scary pregnancy or the responsibility of a baby too!", but ultimately it still comes down to their own childish feeling of being unable to handle adversity, and the assumption that other people are similarly unable. As if they don't think that anyone could ever (or should ever have to) rise to the occasion.

Anyway, I'm disappointed that so many of my friends are so immature, and that's why I'm ranting in your inbox. Hope you're having a good day, anyway.

It's not just that they're mental children, it's that the have this ridiculous expectation that life, by default, is supposed to be easy and stress free. You see it in the way they justify pretty much every single one of their political and social stances. No one is ever supposed to experience harsh words, so we have to limit free speech. Guns scare them, so they need to be banned. Men and white people scare and upset them so they need to be segregated. Work is hard so work should be abolished and we should all live on government handouts. Pregnancy is scary so we should be allowed to kill children at will. Etc, etc, etc.

Everything they don't like now needs to go away. But they have zero ability to understand bigger concepts like natural rights, freedom, personal responsibility. They either don't know or don't care that banning speech and guns and work gives people power over them and their lives. And if they do know, they justify it to themselves by saying that they trust the people in power now so it's okay, never going one step further and realizing that any power you give to the government will eventually be wielded by people you don't trust and who are actively acting against what you want.

We desperately need history, civics and philosophy to be the focal points of all our education. We need to teach children to think about large concepts and understand that things can't always be solved quickly or from the top down. The ability to divide or diagram a sentence means nothing if you can't accurately understand the world around you.

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hologramcowboy · 10 months

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Dear AAs,

Due to observed behaviors, I wanted to take the time and write a message for you.

It seems like a whole lot of you are wasting your precious youth, resources and potential on obsessing over Jensen so much you lose track of who you are and what you are on this earth to fulfill.

Your infatuation is so high it blinds you and strips you of your values and dreams. You put Jensen and Danneel on a pedestal and feel like less of a human for not being them. You are creating limitations in your own life over a bunch of semi-celebrities who aren't even educated compared to you.

While appreciating or admiring something is a beautiful experience, it should never get to the point where your intelligence becomes overshadowed by your unrealistic expectations and views of two people.

Strive to be YOU, to live YOU and what you most love. Before it''s too late for all of your dreams. You are so caught up in false idols you cannot see how toxic worshiping them is to your own life trajectory.

You project unrealistic view unto Jensen and Danneel because you are afraid to go out there and build your legend, live your uniqueness.

I am serious, I see a lot of underage girls even or way too young lusting after Jensen so much they completely forego their goals and most especially their personalities. They become an empty shell.

If meeting and marrying a highly attractive man is your dream then focus on that and work on developing the life you want, being the person you dream of being, living that true love, being it. That takes work but it's worth it, you are worth it. When you give all your power away to clueless celebrities all you are doing is telling your subconscious mind you don't feel worthy of your dreams, you are not the leading character of your life. Guess what? Your reticular activating system (RAS) then filters life accordingly and you miss out on opportunities and key moments.

It's healthy to have role models, if they match your life trajectory, but ensure you balance out your perceptions and realize they are human, just like you. Just as you appreciate them, you should be appreciation yourself and if you are not already doing that then there is a huge imbalance in your life and, most likely, you energy will end up being sapped by false idols instead of inspired by healthy, realistic, measurable goals and pursuits.

You weren't put on this Earth to be an echo of Jensen and Danneel. You are uniquely you so show up for yourself and your desired life way more than you obsess over J/D. They can steal away time from your life and guess what? Life progresses pretty fast and before you know it you will have a mountain of regrets instead of a heart full of fulfilling memories and tangible results in your life. You will look back and suffer and realize how silly it was to get caught up in mindless infatuation.

I hope you do me a favor. Grab a piece of paper, list every aspect you love about Jensen or Danneel or whoever it is you obsessively stan. Then go through that list and ask yourself: "Where in my life have I displayed these traits?" Don't stop until you answer it for each quality.

If you want to balance your perceptions even more, do the same for their perceived flaws and quirks. This will allow you to see them as human like you and to appreciate them in a balanced way in full awareness of both their negative and positive traits.

If you do me this favor, you will release yourself from your manic perceptions about them and you will be in control of your emotions and your direction.

A second favor would be: Create a vision board of what you want in your life, then grab a notebook and write a scenario of how each of those experiences would feel. Once you are in touch with those feelings, begin breaking down your goals into small, realistic, measurable steps and commit to taking a priority action each day to reach those milestones. Whenever you need to re-energize, go back to the vision you created and live it fully inside, remember your WHY and keep recommitting day by day. If you do this, rather than consume yourself with obsessing over Jensen and Danneel, just imagine where your life will be months from now, years from now. You will reach a new bliss and it will be thanks to your self-care, dedication and focus.

May all of your dreams become your reality and they will, if you chose to believe in yourself rather than giving power away to false idols and escapism.

#anti AAs #anti fanaticism #anti jenneel

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daegudrama · 2 months

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Title: Route 613

Pairing: Reader/Namjoon, Reader/Yoongi, Reader/Vmin

Summary: Reader wants to be the very best Pokémon trainer there ever was. Her first stop in that journey is Paldea University home to a myriad of higher education. Still working to get over her ex boyfriend, Yoongi, reader forms new connections while making a few questionable decisions along the way. Each battle bringing her closer to the glory she's always dreamed of. Will she succeed in becoming champion or will outside forces stop her from achieving her goal?

Word Count: 5.3k

Disclaimer: Real life ages mean nothing in this fic. Refer here for ages and my shitty graphic

1 2 3 5

Chapter 4

Jimin’s room is dark when you open your eyes. It takes you a moment to remember where you are and how you got here. There is nothing you want to do less than wake up and talk about this. Maybe that makes you a coward, but at this moment you don’t care. So you carefully move out from under Taehyung and Jimin’s arms until you can get off the bed. Still drunk, it takes pure skill to not fall over as you get dressed.

Thankfully, you are able to get out of Jimin’s dorm without either of them waking up. You see a few texts from the girls but decide to answer them later. As long as you answer by morning no one will worry too much. Right now you just want to fall asleep in your own bed but, of course, fate isn’t on your side and your ex is sitting by the Uxie statue staring up at the stars. He looks closer to the man you were in love with. It’s almost like he’s going back to how he used to be. To others his face might seem expressionless, but you can see the subtle displeasure on his face.

“Y/N, I thought you might be here soon.” Yoongi says, not looking directly at you. “Is what Yunjin said true?”

Your heart drops knowing there is only one thing that Yunjin could have told him about tonight. Why is she going around telling everyone what she saw? Especially your ex boyfriend. Does she have no common sense? You get that she thinks they are friends but that doesn’t mean she should go around spreading your business. No one else needs to know. The conversation you are going to have with her tomorrow is not going to be nice.

“What did she tell you?” You ask standing in front of him waiting for him to look you in the eyes.

He pauses, squeezing his hands into fists on his thighs. Yoongi takes a deep breath and releases his tensed hands. He looks back to the stars trying to find words.

“Don’t make me say it.” He finally looks into your eyes. Absolute heartbreak is easily readable on his face and makes you want to scoff. Why is he still holding onto his feelings when he is to blame? You don’t give him what he wants because he lost that privilege a long time ago. After several almost painfully long seconds he says, “Did she catch you fucking Jimin and Taehyung?”

Has he forgotten the time since he left? Where does he get off thinking this is something he gets an opinion on? He is the last person in the world that should be talking to you about this. Yoongi knows all too well that he doesn’t deserve to know, but he’s worried about you. Behind the layers of what he had to do is immeasurable regret. He knows there is a chance he could do everything in his power and still never be able to hold you like he used to. But if there is any chance at all of course he is going to try.

“Yes, and it was so fucking fun!” You emphasize the last three words wanting to throw it in his face. If he’s going to act like this he deserves it. “I don’t see how that’s any of your business, though.”

“Who are you turning into?” His tone sounds disgusted but his face stays fairly neutral.

That comment enrages you to the point you are wondering why you are even entertaining this conversation. Maybe, you should walk away but you don’t. Drunk words spout from your mouth without a second to think about them.

“I’m not turning into anything!” Your irritation is clear in your tone. “We can’t stay 17 forever, Yoongi. You decided to break up with me and now you need to deal with that. My life didn’t just stop because you left, but it did stop being your business when you left me.”

“Y/N, I never wanted to leave you.”

You scoff and roll your eyes letting your head fall back. How many times is he going to say that before he tells you what happened? This is ruining your night. What is happening right now is exactly what you were trying to get away from tonight. Why would you be able to go a night without thinking of Yoongi? That’s far too much to ask apparently.

“Okay, then tell me what you were ‘protecting’ me from.” You cross your arms over your chest after curving your fingers into air quotes around the word protecting.

His head falls into his hands and he takes a deep breath. Yoongi’s fingers pull at his hair before he straightens up and answers you.

“I was really ready to tell you everything, but I can’t anymore. Things aren’t as simple as they used to be.” It seems like every time he’s talking to you it's something to this effect. You want closure so it will be easier to stop thinking about him, but he won’t provide you with that. “I had to leave, it wasn't my choice.”

“If I really meant something to you, you wouldn’t be acting like this.”

His face falls and you can clearly see how deeply those words hurt him. With that you walk away listening to the way he continues to call your name. You ignore him and he doesn’t follow you. While you are glad he doesn’t, it makes you wonder how much he truly cares.

══════════════∘◦❀◦∘═══════════════

Loud banging on your door wakes you up in the morning. Sunlight is streaming through your window. You get up far too fast and feel dizzy from the way your head is pounding. A glimpse of messy hair and clothes not in the right place catches your attention as you walk to the door. Whoever is out there better have a really good reason. This is so not what you need right now.

“Y/N!” Hiyyih calls from the other side of the door.

Relief floods your body knowing you don’t have to face Jimin and Taehyung just yet. Hiyyih would let you know if she is here with someone else. You unlock the door and let it swing open to reveal a Hiyyih who looks to be in no better shape than you.

She is holding two cups of coffee and doesn’t even say hi before walking into your room. Hiyyih takes a long drink of her coffee before sitting down on your couch. You close the door before joining Hiyyih on the couch. She hands you the second coffee and you gratefully take a sip.

“I’m so sorry for ditching you last night.” You say once you’ve swallowed the delicious coffee she chose. When did she learn your coffee order? “I’m not someone who does that.”

“Don’t worry about that. I was fine.” Hiyyih waves the thought off. “I’m more worried about how you are doing.”

You recount what happened last night leaving out the graphic details. If she wants those you are sure she’ll ask later. She listens carefully without interruption. Her eyebrows scrunch together when you mention leaving Jimin’s dorm. Was that not the right move? Should you have stayed there until the morning?

“Then when I got back to the courtyard Yoongi was sitting by the fountains. Yunjin told him what she saw. He asked me who I was turning into and spouted some shit about how he never wanted to leave me. Then I decided that was enough and came back here.”

“Fuck him.” Hiyyih says face falling into a scowl. She takes a deep breath before continuing. “Don’t let him make you feel bad just because he can’t get two hot guys in one night.”

The two of you laugh even though you know Yoongi could if he wanted. He just doesn’t want anyone but you and that could be turning into a major issue. Why couldn’t he have just stayed away? It would be one less thing for you to stress over.

“What am I going to do about that? I can’t pretend it didn’t happen.”

For a moment just the sound of Hiyyih sipping her coffee fills the room. She is thinking of how she can help you. Sleeping with your friends is definitely not the smartest idea you’ve had. Especially, one who is in the same club with you and your ex. Maybe sticking by Hiyyih’s side all night would’ve been a much easier night, but it wouldn’t have been quite as thrilling.

“Do you want to do it again?”

You contemplate the question. It was fun and felt incredible but you wonder if someone else could make you feel the same way. Who knows if they would even want to do that again. You aren’t even sure if it’s something you want. Sober you never would have done that.

“I think I would rather stay just their friend. They seem more into each other anyways.”

This doesn’t surprise Hiyyih. You’ve all seen them kiss each other. Trying to understand their relationship will just give you a headache. That is not something you particularly want to be involved with.

“Just tell them that. I have a feeling they won’t be offended.” Hiyyih pats your shoulder before standing up with a sympathetic look. “I’ll let you deal with that. I’m going to walk with Riot.”

“Have fun.” You say then take a drink of your coffee.

Riot is Hiyyih’s Sableye who she’s had for just over a year. She takes her pokemon for walks often and more often than not that leads to some wild battles. It’s a nice adventure for both of them. That is something you want to do more of in the coming months.

Your stomach grumbles so you reach for the basket of treats Namjoon gave you. After opening a piece of chocolate you see a note poking up from the bottom. You pull it out carefully, unfolding it to look at Namjoon’s easy to read handwriting.

Y/N,

Happy Halloween! I hope you have fun tonight! I really enjoy the time I get to spend with you so sorry for being a little MIA this week. I’m always available if you need another study buddy or someone to show you the best places to swim with your pokemon. I know you’ve been having a hard time lately but that doesn’t mean you aren’t a great trainer. Battle Strategy majors usually have a harder time acclimating than other students. You can do this!

Namjoon 🌱

A smile creeps onto your face and you laugh at the way you feel your cheeks flushing. Namjoon is sweet beyond comparison and is picking up on the things you aren’t even talking to him about. The tiny sprout he drew next to his name makes you smile even wider. How can a man so tall and handsome be so endearing at the same time?

You think about sending Namjoon a text but decide on a shower first. Maybe a nice long shower will help you sort out the events of Halloween. Last night replays in your mind as you try to scrub away your hangover. Was walking into that side room the best idea you’ve ever had? Probably not, but it was one of the best spontaneous things you’ve ever done. People tell you often that you need to relax more and maybe they are right. If you spend too much time worrying about your decisions it will distract you from what you came here to do. The sooner you confront the situation the better.

What surprises you even more than your spontaneity is that you stood up to Yoongi. Maybe you are changing, but that’s not a bad thing like he makes it seem. When it comes to your ex you usually walk away from situations like that. It's not that you don’t want to confront him; a lot of the time you want to scream until he gives you the answers you want. Walking away is less emotional baggage for everyone so that’s what you do most of the time. Keeping the peace, you guess. He is making it difficult to do that. So straightly telling him how you are feeling is the only way to show him how little you want him around.

Someone begins pounding on your door as you are slipping into sweatpants. Your hair is wrapped up in a towel and you wish you could go back to sleep. A sigh leaves your mouth as you amble towards the door. If you had to guess, Jimin and Taehyung are on the other side of the door. Your suspicion is confirmed when you hear Taehyung speak.

“Maybe she’s still sleeping. Let’s just go.”

You pull the door open just as Taehyung is beginning to drag Jimin away. They both turn their eyes towards you. They both look you up and down but no one says a word as they silently file into your room. They sit on either side of your couch and you sit in between them. Just like last night.

“I don’t know how to start this conversation.” Jimin mutters before continuing a little louder. “Let me just get straight into how I feel.”

“Okay.” You say when he doesn’t immediately continue.

Taehyung squirms in his seat like he’s uncomfortable in this situation. To be honest, you would rather be stung by a Beedrill than to be having this conversation. But you don’t want to lose them as your friends so you need to have this conversation.

“I had a really good time last night. Like probably the best threesome I’ve ever had and I would do it again…” Your cheeks flush at his words but you also feel a sense of pride. Though he hasn’t told you directly about his other experiences you are sure they are numerous. He pauses and you know there's another part to that sentence.

“I’m sensing a but?” You question watching Jimin’s face pinch up as if he’s anxious to let all his thoughts out.

“Yes there’s a but.” Jimin runs a hand through his hair. “But as hot as you are and as hot as that was I would rather have you as my friend than let things get out of hand.”

So it was good enough that they would want to have sex with you again, but they don’t want you to catch feelings. You might be offended if it wasn’t Jimin and Taehyung. Part of you knows they mean any one of you could get carried away.

“I agree with Jimin, being with you was really good but how Jimin and I do things doesn’t work for everyone or even most people.” Taehyung says, fiddling with his navy blue sweatpants, only briefly making eye contact with you when saying how good it was. “It can be confusing for other people and we don’t want to lead you on in any way.”

Jimin and Taehyung care about your feelings. It’s lucky you ended up with them last night instead of someone random. If you ever decide to do something like this again you’ll have a better perspective because they aren’t afraid to talk this out with you.

“I’m sorry for sneaking out on you. I know that probably made you think I regretted having sex with you, but I really don’t. Honestly, it’s the most fun I’ve had in months.” You let the words tumble from your mouth before you can regret them and both of their shoulders visibly relax at your words. You let your vulnerable feelings out trusting they won’t use them against you. “I needed a minute to process alone. Before you two Yoongi was the only person I’d ever been with. So, I don’t really know how to do this.”

“Really?” Taehyung questions placing a hand on your shoulder in his shock. “Honestly I never would have known. You really know what you’re doing.”

Your hands cover your face suddenly shy from the compliment. Taehyung squeezes your shoulder giggling at the effect his words have. Hearing those words from him really boosts your confidence. Of course, Yoongi has told you many times how much he enjoys how you can make him feel, but it feels entirely different hearing it from someone else. It would’ve been more worrying to you if you couldn’t make Yoongi crazy. To this day you know him better than you know anyone else in this world.

“It’s funny that you’re being shy now like my dick wasn’t in your mouth a few hours ago.”

“JIMIN!” You and Taehyung shriek in unison, heads whipping towards him.

Jimin laughs so hard he doubles over and falls off of your couch. When he straightens up, getting back on the couch, a worried look crosses his face.

“Did Yunjin say anything to anyone?”

“Unfortunately.” You sigh deeply leaning your head back against the cushion. That’s another conversation you are going to have to deal with later. It would be easy for you to stop talking to her if she wasn’t Chaewon’s girlfriend. Not that you don’t like her. You believe she is a genuinely good person and that she isn’t intentionally causing you problems. Her friendship with Yoongi just complicates things. It’s shitty she said something to him but as drunk as she was you might have done the same thing. “Yoongi was waiting by the fountain when I came back.”

Taehyung and Jimin rush to comfort you. One arm from each man wraps around your shoulder and they scooch closer. Your heart reacts stupidly, but it makes sense it would beat wildly with handsome boys touching you.

“Are you okay? What did he say?” Jimin asks, rubbing his small fingers into your shoulder.

“Do we need to fight him?” Taehyung asks no hint of a joke in his tone.

“Tae no! You are not fighting my ex.” You lean forward letting them rub your back as you explain what happened. Unlike Hiyyih they don’t stay quiet. Before you can get to the part about him saying he never wanted to leave you they interrupt with their thoughts.

“What does he mean, who are you turning into? Please, don’t let his words get to you. He doesn’t deserve to make you feel bad when he’s the one who left you.” Jimin says, clasping your chin for just a second to make you look into his eyes.

“Yeah! He’s just being a jealous dickhead.” Taehyung replies with much less grace than Jimin and you look towards him almost laughing. “You are allowed to express your desires however you please and that’s none of his business.”

“Thank you, now if you’ll let me continue…” You carry on to tell them how you stood up to him and they pat our back proudly. You end with something you didn’t say to Hiyyih. “I don’t want to believe he’s being malicious in not telling me because I’ve loved him for so long. There must be a reason. He is not the kind of person that does this.”

“If he tells you then he tells but wondering and worrying about it when he says he can’t tell is only going to hurt and distract you.” Jimin says softly and it’s exactly what you need to hear at this moment.

“You’re right.” You stand removing the towel wrapped around your head. “Let’s get some food before I talk to Yunjin.”

They nod, pulling out their phones to keep themselves occupied while you change. Several minutes later you are dressed in a light sweater and blue jeans with freshly blow dried hair.

══════════════∘◦❀◦∘═══════════════

You finally look at your phone after lunch and see a few messages from Yunjin. She’s apologizing but wants to see you in person so she can do it properly. After Taehyung and Jimin leave, you tell her to meet you on a bench between two buildings.

“Y/N.” She says as soon as she approaches. Her long hair is tied up in a messy bun and she looks like she hasn’t slept all night. Yunjin takes a seat beside you and continues speaking. “I know you’re probably mad at me and I know what I did is really fucked up. I’m so sorry. I swear I didn’t seek out to tell him. He showed up and it slipped out when he asked where you were. I drank way too much and I feel awful about it.”

“I’m not mad at you.” You say not meeting her eyes. It’s the truth because there is no use being angry at her. Like you told Taehyung and Jimin you don’t think she did it to be a mean girl. “I think I probably would’ve done the same thing if I was that drunk. As much as I wish I could just go back to how my friendship with him used to be I can’t. It’s hard for me to think of him as a friend.”

“It’s not easy for him either.” She says softly. “I’ll try to be more considerate of everyone’s feelings. I really didn’t mean for anything to happen and Yoongi is sorry for what he said. He sent you some messages.”

For a few moments you sit there in awkward silence before she bids you goodbye and walks away. You pull out your phone to look at the messages Yoongi sent you.

He barely deserves a response in your mind so that’s all you give him. Lost without you is such a dramatic way to say he misses you. It seems like he’s doing just fine actually. He’s made friends and isn’t holed up in his room constantly as far as you know. You take a deep breath and try to clear your mind.

You continue to sit between the buildings as you answer more messages. Your mom wants photos of your costume and you send her the few you got with your friends. It takes you a moment to decide what to send to Namjoon. In the end you decide on a simple message then shove your phone into your pocket.

Your feet lead you out of Mesagoza into the tall grass of the forest. For about an hour you switch between your pokemon letting them battle any wild pokemon you come across. They are enjoying the battles and get more confident as time passes. Just a little more time is spent focusing on Sriracha and Pixie. Since you haven’t been their trainer for very long more goes into battling with them.

Eventually you stumble across Hiyyih sitting on a large blanket with her pokemon playing close by. She turns when she hears the rustle of leaves under your feet.

“How’d it go?” She asks patting the space next to her inviting you to sit down.

“Better than I thought it would. It’s refreshing how willing they were to just talk about it instead of avoiding me.”

You pause for a moment watching Riot push a shiny ball around. When you continue you tell her about the conversation you had with Yunjin and show her the messages from Yoongi. A sour look takes over Hiyyih’s face as if she had just smelled something nasty.

“Lost without you.” Hiyyih scoffs and you can tell her mind is on the same track as yours. “Who does he think he is? If he really cared he would find a way to tell you whatever this big secret is.”

“That’s what I’m saying!” You say throwing your hands up in frustration. “Sometimes I wish he had never come back.”

You release your pokemon from their balls and they cautiously start playing with Hiyyih’s pokemon. For several moments you watch the pokemon without a word. It’s peaceful to just sit here with Hiyyih after the chaos of last night and this morning.

“Do you want to come home with me next week?” Hiyyih says, leaning back on her elbows letting her long hair flow in the gentle breeze. “Every year since Kai became champion we do a sibling photoshoot for Vogue Paldea. I was thinking Jimin and Namjoon could come too. Lea has wanted to meet them ever since I told her about Namjoon watching her live.”

“Yes, let’s do it!”

Traveling to another city is exactly what you need right now. You can’t wait to see the place that raised Hiyyih.

═════════∘◦❀◦∘══════════

On Tuesday Professor Oak has a special guest waiting in his office when you arrive. Half of the Psychic gym duo is here. Eunchae and Shua Hong are siblings that run the Psychic gym in Alfornanda together. For many years their parents owned and ran the gym, but when Shua turned eighteen he took over. Eunchae is nine years younger than Shua so she didn’t join him as co-gym leader until she turned fifteen three years ago. They are the only double gym battle in the region and have historically not been easy to defeat. The Hong siblings are the second to last gym leaders a trainer usually takes on before challenging the elite four.

Eunchae is standing in front of the Oak's Club with a sweet smile on her face. She’s wearing a very casual outfit compared to what she posts on her instagram. Just a cropped hoodie with an Abra picture printed onto it and a pair of black leggings with white shoes. Her dark hair is pulled back into one braid down her back.

In just a few months you’ll be battling her and her brother. In a few months you will be strong enough to take on Eunchae and Shua together. Strong enough to beat them and every other gym leader. Your training and bond with your pokemon will be put to the test.

It would be a lie if you said you weren’t just a little starstruck seeing this gym leader in front of you. Gym leaders are celebrities to you. Not all of them have instagrams but you follow all the ones that do. It’s interesting to see what they get up to when they aren’t taking on hoards of overly confident trainers.

“Welcome Oak’s Club.” Professor Oak says from his seat behind his desk. He gestures towards Eunchae with a proud smile on his face. “I’m sure you all know who this is, but please introduce yourself.”

“Hi! I’m Eunchae Hong, one of the psychic gym leaders.” Her eyes sweep over the four of you before she continues. “Professor Oak brought me here to talk about my experiences. I’m the same age as two of you so there’s a lot we can relate to with each other.”

You can’t imagine what she thinks she has in common with you and Yoongi. Nothing about her life has seemed normal since she took on the role of gym leader. Her life isn’t just waiting around to battle trainers. Each gym leader and champion is also tasked with helping keep their part of the region safe from potential threats.

“I’m sure you all know the story that’s been told a thousand times about my brother taking over when he turned eighteen and how I joined him when I turned fifteen. What I don’t talk about often is the strength and hardship I had to go through to prepare myself for that role.” She takes a seat in the extra chair Professor Oak brought in for her before continuing. “In some ways I put my childhood on hold knowing that I had to step up and help take over my parent’s gym. Since I was a small child I have loved pokemon. I grew up watching my parents challenge trainer after trainer and knew that someday I wanted to do that too. My parents made it all look glamorous and easy, but that wasn’t my reality.”

She takes a deep breath before continuing. You wonder if she’s nervous speaking in front of people. Not every gym leader is outgoing and ready to be perceived by the public constantly. Especially not speaking like this. You can think of a few Paldea gym leaders who would much rather let their battling speak for them.

“Especially when I first started training. It took years before my first pokemon consistently listened to me and even then our bond was not as strong as it could’ve been. I watched other trainers and studied harder so I could find the best way to love and strengthen my pokemon. There were times I thought about giving it all up, but pokemon mean too much to me. It always came easier and quicker for Shua and not just because of our large age gap. It made me envious but it also lit a fire within me.”

“You mentioned training in other regions to me when we first spoke. Did being in different environments help diversify your skill set?” Professor Oak asks, folding his hands together on his desk.

“The gym leaders of Kanto have always been very welcoming to my family. Professor Oak mentioned you’re visiting them next month and I’m excited to hear how that goes.” Eunchae smiles before continuing. “Every trainer has their own way of doing things. So battling as many people as possible really helped me find my own strengths. The best trainers are ready and prepared for any possibility.”

Eunchae talks about relating to the Kanto gym leaders more than some of the other regions. The majority of them are in their mid to late twenties. Two are just a year older than her and one is much much older. You wonder if she’s seen the elusive leader of the ground gym. He’s rarely seen and when he is it’s always with a mask.

“What was the hardest battle you’ve ever fought?” Yoongi asks when she opens herself up to questions.

“When someone becomes champion part of their duties are to check up on the gym leaders of their region. Shua calls it quality control. Kai will pop in randomly to make sure our gym meets the standards of the Paldea Pokemon League.” She smiles like she’s thinking of a fond memory and not a battle that she surely lost. “Last year he popped in and asked to battle us separately. Honestly, I was scared because I didn’t want to bring shame on my family. I fought hard for much longer than I expected to be able to hold my own. Of course, he bested me because he’s Kai Huening but it wasn’t a blowout by any means.”

“What is the typical diet of your pokemon?” Jimin asks a few moments later after she’s also described how nerve wracking it felt the first time she faced a trainer as a gym leader.

Eunchae is incredibly insightful and stresses that just because these things work for her team doesn’t mean they will work for anyone else. You can buy all the high end supplements in the world and still be a mediocre trainer. Bonding with and loving your pokemon is just as big a part of having a strong team as what you feed them.

As time passes talking to Eunchae feels easier like she’s truly just another classmate and not something you’ve been aspiring to be all your life. You are shocked to learn she knows Hiyyih and they are pretty close friends. She knew Eunchae was coming and didn’t even warn you. Before you leave she asks for your phone number which shocks you.

“I’m excited to battle you this spring, YN.” She says handing you back your phone.

There’s still so many variables to get you there. The winter tournament won’t be easy. Handling your classes on top of training won’t be easy either. You want to plan everything out so you can always be one step ahead but things don’t always work out the way you want them to.

“See you then.” You say mustering all your confidence.

#fanfiction #bts fanfic #kim namjoon #min yoongi #bts smut #yoongi x reader #namjoon x reader #bts #bts fanfiction #route 613 #raes fics

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blackjackkent · 1 month

Text

Gale next!

He looks rather stouter and steadier than the last time Hector saw him, and his air is rather more subdued, but he smiles brightly as he meets Hector's gaze and moves across the camp towards him. "Well, well," he says lightly. "Look what the tressym dragged in." He offers a mock-bow, a dramatic gesture with one hand. "Professor Gale Dekarios of Blackstaff Academy, educator of the esteemed School of Illusion," he says proudly. "A pleasure to remake your acquaintance."

Hector grins widely, hearing this. It's perfect for Gale, of course, to be a teacher - to be able to hold forth on the subjects that interest him most, to a gaggle of obligated listeners. Gods, it's good to see you, he thinks, and - without even thinking about it this time - steps forward to wrap the other man in an embrace.

Hug him.

This is rather more hugs than Hector has ever given anyone besides Karlach at probably any point in his life. But it feels right. He's missed these people so much - more than he allowed himself to realize, perhaps, amidst the chaos of the Hells.

Gale himself seems a bit surprised.

"Well, that was quite lovely," he says. "I'm glad you're as pleased to see me as I am you." He lounges back on his heels. "I have to say, I'm quite grateful to just be 'Gale' for the evening," he admits. "I fear my students find me somewhat intimidating, due to my, erm, explosive former reputation. I seem to put the fear of the gods into them. Or the fear of Mystra to be more specific."

He huffs out a heavy breath and folds his arms. "She sought me out, not long after we went our separate ways, and assured me neither she nor the orb should pose me any threat in the future." He puts a hand over the mark on his chest. "Of course it's still in there. A constant reminder of my former hubris, and a surprisingly effective means of keeping my more disobedient students in line."

He purses his lips in a frown. "Perhaps a tad too effective. I spend most of my time trying to convince them how much *fun* the study of magic can be. But it'd be easier to crack a smile on an intellect devourer than some of my pupils..."

Hector listens to this discourse with rambling amusement. Gale has not lost his taste for his own voice, certainly, although there's something much softer and calmer about his speech than their used to be. There was always something in it of a desperate cry to be acknowledged, to be heard, but he is more comfortable in his own skin now, perhaps.

"Go on, then," he says, gently teasing, "convince me. Why is illusory magic so much fun?"

"Illusory magic has the power to confound the senses," Gale says, visibly energizing at the question. "To render the impossible into reality, and to allow expression of that most magical attribute of all - imagination. Had you the decades to spare, I think you'd prove quite adept at it, as you did in that first lesson I taught you."

The smile fades from his face for a moment, his whole attitude growing serious, and he reaches out and rests a hand on Hector's forearm. "It was at that moment, the Weave connecting us," he says softly, "that I realized how much your friendship had come to mean to me - as it still does."

Hector meets his eyes, nods slowly in agreement. Yes - Gale was and remains one of his closest friends, someone with whom he shares the boundless eagerness for knowledge and understanding. He is glad to hear it echoed back to him.

"Teaching you was hardly an effort at all," Gale goes on, not giving him time to respond. "Not like my present cohort of apprentices. They try their best, of course - when they can manage to stay awake." He rolls his eyes.

An unexpected voice sounds from by his feet.

"The cheek of them!" It's Gale's tressym, the one he has often described - and Hector recognizes her as the same winged cat they met on the rooftop of the Open Hand temple. "Nothing a well-placed swipe from Tara can't fix."

Gale laughs, then gives Hector a questioning look. "And what of you? What are you making of this newfound lease of life we've earned?"

Hector smiles ruefully. "Avernus is... interesting," he says with a wry shrug. "We've been making a mess down there, that's for sure..."

Gale laughs. "I almost feel sorry for the devils in your path. I mean, I *don't*, obviously. I'm sure they deserve it." He cocks his head thoughtfully. "I've told my students plenty of tales about our escapades. You're something of a hero to them, you know. I'd be delighted to introduce you to my current cohort - as a guest lecturer, perhaps? I'm sure they'd have plenty of questions for you."

Hector brightens visibly at this idea. He did plenty of teaching at the monastery and it is a skill sadly lacking in his current day-to-day. (This is, of course, all contingent on being able to find a more consistent method in and out of the Hells, but he's confident that will come sooner or later.) [CLERIC] "Of course," he says. "What wizard wouldn't benefit from the wisdom my god has to offer?"

Gale grins. "Well, I for one can't wait - and I say with some confidence, neither can they. Of course you'd be most welcome to stay in my tower--"

"Ahem," the tressym puts in authoritatively.

"My apologies, Tara," Gale says sheepishly. "That would be *our* tower." He gives Hector a good-natured shrug. "It will give us plenty of time to catch up on your adventures. I'm very curious to know what you've been up to these past months - but I suspect the telling of that tale would keep you tied to me all evening. So in the spirit of selflessness, I encourage you to mix and mingle for now. We've time enough to come."

------

Hector, being a polite fellow, of course says a proper hello to Tara as well. She seems... skeptical, as most cats have been towards Hector over the course of his adventures.

"Oh, right. You. Hello."

"Gale's friend Tara, right?" Hector says pleasantly. "It's good to see you again."

"Yes, I'm certain it is," she says haughtily. "As for you, well... I've heard congratulations are in order." She flexes her wings and looks him over thoughtfully. "You helped Mr. Dekarios save Baldur's Gate from the Absolute; isn't that right?"

Hector resists the urge to smile and simply nods back very seriously. "If that's what he told you, who am I to argue?"

"Well done," she says. Her tone isn't quite disdainful - but it certainly lacks the respect Gale has for him. "Despite my old friend's genius, he'd have blown himself up long ago if not for the help of friends like you and I." She scratches absently at one ear. "You ought to come visit myself and Gale when you're able. If you can extract yourself from what I'm sure are very important responsibilities."

Hector's lips twitch. "I'd quite like that," he says gravely. "Thanks for the invitation."

"We'll send word by pigeon when we've need of you. I used to have a taste for them," she says vaguely, "but a great many things have changed in recent months." She lifts a paw and waves it in what manages to be a dismissive gesture. "Ta-ta, darling."

#bjk plays baldur's gate 3 #hector carlisle #hector is so smiley and huggy in all these scenes and i love it for him so much

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