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#warnings
List of terrifying phrases a human may say as a warning you are about to be in danger or hear a horrible story:
Hold my (insert drink, occasionally object)
I got this (results will very)
So what happened was (this indicates a story)
Let me explain (something bad happened that you may or may not know about)
I didn't do it (something bad happened that they may or may not be involved in)
(Insert other crewmembers name) did it (usually means they did it but is trying to blame others)
I didn't do it, nobody saw me do it, I wish to speak to my lawyer (nearly without a doubt, they did it)
For (insert name) (usually a battle charge, regardless if there is a battle actually happening)
Leroy Jenkins (see above)
Run! (You should start running, don't ask questions)
Duck! (Lower yourself quickly or you will be hit by unknown flying object)
Watch this (this is usually a bad stunt that will end in pain, you usually can't stop them. If you use the phrase "this can not be done" or some form of this, it will only encourage them to prove you wrong)
Fucked around, now we find out (did something and waiting for the consequences)
I would like to see (a person or group, usually a curse word) try that with me (a threat, don't try it with them)
Don't ask questions (don't ask questions, you aren't prepared for horrible answers)
Please fill free to add others
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lady-ashfade · 2 months
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My Oath
day six of celebration marathon
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Percy Jackson x platonic!demigod!reader. (God of the unknown because I can’t help myself, he is a oc of mine for my pjo series)
-£ plot: Your father has learned of a new forbidden child. As his number one he sends you to do his bidding. until your loyalty is challenged.
-words: 1k
-£part two?
-£ warnings: angst, plot of murder, new plot, slight spoilers for readers father in “a love watered by blood”, god of the unknown, (Big spoilers. Reader is sent to kill Pecy) , also the song from Epic:the Troy sagas “the horse and the infant” is what this is based off of.
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you were no oath breaker.
you bowed at your fathers feet as he sat upon his throne. the place you called home was dark and misty, your fathers doing, it was a place of mistrust but undying loyalty to him. it was you who was called on often as you served at his hand, you proved your worth as a demigod and you became something more when he took you into his ranks. no other gods dared to speak to him and he liked it that way, no fuss or chatting.
they had many secrets. and he could spill them all.
he hated his “family” and they knew it. wars have been taught over centuries and he picked a side with little care. but he did love secrets and nothing was kept from him even in the smallest corner in the world. every whisper was his to hear.
“what is needed of me.” your eyes stayed on the marble floor beneath your knee, your arms thrown over and await his command.
“i have found a forbidden child, again,” he picked at his nails, his body slumped against the throne.
“a son of poseidon, perseus jackson. make his death quick, but i don’t care if it’s painful.”
you slowly looked up at him, you examined his calm and carelessness behavior. a forbidden child was not unheard of to you, as you have been sent to watch a few over the many years. killing was easy for you, no harm came to your mind as the thought of displeasing your father outweighed any death you caused by your hands.
“tell me where to go.” you agreed to the quest.
earth was a strange place, especially since you grew up in a different time. though you watched the mortal realm in the mirror in your room, finding peaceful places and happy memories being created. but it was a curse, no matter how hard you tried to fight it, when your eyes closed you would dream about the horrors of life. maybe it was a way of life getting back at you for being the cause of destruction— a weapon to be used.
creeping into the apartment building, the widow was not able to keep you out since you had many tools. you’ve done things like this, sneak and kill, return and repeat at his command. you never failed— in fear of being destroyed yourself, a gods wrath was a hard punishment for anyone.
the room was dark and only the light from the moon shined in, making things noticeable. the clothes sticked to your skin from the weather that night. drawling your dagger, preparing to kill your next victim and without causing destress or a fight. but it wasn’t a man you saw. it wasn’t a bed.
it was a crib, a few shells hanging above the babes sleeping body.
stepping back in shock and hesitation you stare at the infant. he was so small. he looked healthily. how is he going to cause any harm? you couldn’t kill a child- a baby. someone unwilling to make decisions for themselves. your doubts and thoughts caused your ears to start ringing, the drums getting pressure built on them.
“I can sense you have your doubts,” the deep voice makes your body shiver and look down at the bracelet on your wrist. the only thing your father gifted you, a silver band with a mirror attached in the center. he could see what was happening anytime without fail. all mirrors are a portal for his eyes.
“He’s just a boy- what kind of threat does he pose?” you kept your voice low and hushed to not awake the mother of the babe.
“he is a forbidden child, you know what that entails. you’ve seen it with your own eyes the damage they cause, the wars started with unfair advantages. that child will grow into a soldier, cause chaos everywhere he steps and gets good people killed. you know I am right.” each point he made was the same he used before to justify his actions.
“don’t make me do this.” you plead. you’ve never begged before, never spared a life in all your years. but never, have you been sent to kill someone so innocent.
“you dare beg for his life to be spared? I have given you a order, so do it.”  your father snarled. not many times were you under his accusative tone. you could hear his voice echoing through the throne room along with a slam of his hand.
“i have done everything you asked of me,” you sounded so small in defeat, “but I can not do this.”
just like that you were willing to risk everything you have built. a place at your fathers feet, above others. a place to live and thrive. and for what? the answer is when you looked at him there is nothing to defend, nothing but a open book waiting to be filled.
“you don’t have a choice,” he roared through the mirror and you could feel the vibration. “kill him, now.” he demanded as his nails scratched at the chair he seat mighty on.
“after years of faithful service, I obeyed every order and command, I live alone each day in a room filled with people. you may have made me for a weapon to use, to do your job for you but I will no longer be a slave.” for the first time you spoke back.
“one day he will die, but not by my hands.” taking the watch on your hand and slipping it off of you, then letting it fall to the ground. the last thing you see is your father shouting at you, his face grim and frustrated. stomping your foot on the floor you break the glass, the item becomes useless.
glancing over to the babe who looked peaceful and wrapped up in a tight blanket. it’s been forever since you were this close to a baby. as a little girl you wished for a family of your own, only you had a life of a demigod.
but looking at him made you sick to your stomach. a pit of anger for the boy who had cost you everything. the world was his to explore.
you were left with no home, no family to go to. and you had broken a oath. you swore yourself to never fail a quest or go against his wishes but you had, for a son of poseidon?— world must have been coming to a end.
you tried to hate him, you really did. but there was no one left to fight for. the decision was yours to make, his life was worth more then yours could ever be. you left quickly after that, afraid you had been to loud.
and one day, you’ll meet the boy he became.
Taglist: @itzmeme @ravenmedows @maria699669 @purplerose291
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corinnetheanime · 4 months
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AND IT IS FINALLY HERE!!!! Happy Ecto-Implosion week, everyone!! The artwork and amazing fic collab that has been in the making for the past couple months is finally here for y’all to enjoy!!
Warning for implied character death/s, experimentation, mild violence, and overall mature themes.
It’s been an amazing honor to work with @thelightningstreak for the @ecto-implosion event!!! Her stories (looking at you, CHAINED) are some of my absolute favorites in the entire phandom since I first joined in 2013, and she’s been an amazing partner to work with! I was blown away by the very first draft alone! Seriously, give her some love, and check out her works!! Thank you, Lightning, for collaborating with me on this! It's been a joy to share this with you!! :D
Artwork title: Fiat Justitia, Ruat Caelum
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Warning: Discourse incoming.
I told myself I’d never get involved in these kinds of discussion because I’m a firm believer in “You do you/No Kink shaming etc.” But this one is a fairly serious one. It’s long, I’m not putting a cut in there, but please just hear me out.
There’s a disturbing trend in some fic writing I’ve noticed lately, and I have to say something about it.
We all know I’m a sucker for dark fics, be it CNC, dubcon, even non-con and horror elements, so I’m not here trying to tone/content police people’s writing. I want to make it very clear that this is not about vilifying people who write dark stuff, or things I’m not into. Hell, if I don’t want to read something, I check the tags and warnings and nope out before I get the ick. (As everyone should, there’s no point getting yourself wound up or triggered by content you can just simply scroll by.) 
However, this is where my current concern comes in. 
I’ve seen lots of very prominent writers not giving adequate warnings or disclaimers about the content they write. 
I’ve come across a lot of content where Joel (sorry buddy you’re the worst offender here, Ilu tho) is being labelled as a dom – and even more worryingly labelled as a soft dom – when the relationship is not about safe dom/sub relationships/kink. 
If Joel is spanking you so hard you can’t sit down in lieu of “teaching you a lesson” when there’s clear lack of enthusiastic consent (or often any consent at all) this is not s/m, this is abuse. 
If you’re having your readers receive physical or sexual punishment for actual life slip ups/non-role play scenarios, you’re glorifying abuse.
If you’re not labelling your fics correctly, you’re being negligent to your readers, and this should be a safe space for us all to read and create without being unduly triggered because we had inadequate or no forewarning.
For example:
Javi P kisses a girl, you make him pay for it in a way that is clearly pre-established (you have to spell it out people) as consensual in your relationship? Kink.
Joel spanking the shit out of you because a man flirted with you in a bar? Abuse. 
Din edging you until you cry because you were competing in how much you could make the other jealous in a pre-agreed dynamic? Kink. 
Joel denying you sex, or fucking you without prep/making you cum because you did something to annoy him/he doesn’t agree with and you aren’t enjoying yourself? Abuse.
I thought we were over this with the discourse that came about around 50 Shades, but clearly not. So please, tag your fics with appropriate/adequate warnings. As a survivor of sexual abuse and grooming, I need to know if your fic is going to contain and/or glorify these things. Again, I’m not saying don’t write these things, but it is your responsibility to tag adequately.
It’s a simple concept that I see applied across the board with age gaps and power dynamics, and most of the time people get it right. But when posts with 1k+ interactions are explicitly abusive, with no warnings other than S/M dynamics or “soft dom!Joel” when it’s anything but soft, aren’t just triggering to some, they’re harmful.
You can’t have a healthy relationship with Joel (again sorry buddy) if that relationship contains thinly veiled or brazen abusive elements. 
If you don’t know the difference between coercive behaviour, sexual or physical abuse, and safe, consensual kink, you need to educate yourself for your own benefit, and that of your readers. 
Feel free to reach out to chat with me about this, I’m not here to run and gun, but I will not tolerate any form of abuse or unkindness (on either side of the aisle) here.
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heyidkyay · 9 days
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And I'm petrified of being alone, now |
Part Twenty
Matty Healy x reader
Summary: She’s just trying to get by, really. What with being a single parent to her four year old son whilst simultaneously trying to kick start a successful career as a radio presenter. She’s got everything she’s ever wanted though, friends close by, a mum who’s merely a phone call away, and of course her baby boy. What else is there to wish for? But then, it’s not long before her relatively normal life gets upended and turned on its head, and she’s suddenly forced to deal with situations she’s never even thought to imagine.
What happens when one mention of a certain controversial singer on her show sends a flood of unexpected challenges her way? 
Authors Note: TWENTY. I actually can't believe it. And back with another longer update! Lotssss going on here ngl, but hoping you enjoy it xx
Warnings: Talks of a withdrawal experience and a very very brief mention of suicidal thoughts (past tense)
> Last update: look back here if you'd like!
Masterlist
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Matty waited and waited for it to come out. 
For someone to mention it. For the media to catch wind or for the story to blow. He waited and waited, but nothing.
Liar. Liar. Liar.
It was driving him mad.
The reminder echoed in the farthest parts of his mind almost constantly and clouded his every thought.
And to only make matters worse, Teddy had lied too.
And what the fuck kind of man did that make him, hey? What sort of deranged idiot made such promises to a kid? I won’t tell, he’d said. He’d sworn it. 
He’d go back and scream at himself now, if he only could. But life didn’t fucking work that way, did it? And he had never been any good at the whole not fucking up part. He was selfish in that regard.
He could go ahead and blame this whole mess all on just wanting to soothe Teddy, to stop him from crying. Or the hope to simply leave what had happened behind them in a desperate attempt not to hurt her anymore than he already had.
But in the end, it all came down to his own narcissistic needs. It was what made the circle, wasn’t it?
“Matty?”
Matty’s head whipped so hard left that he winced at the slight pull he felt in his neck, turning away from where he’d been staring aimlessly into the mirror. Mouse was stood there, only an arms length away, wearing an apologetic smile on her face. 
Matty wanted to reach out, to touch. To say that he was sorry. But he knew that she’d only chuckle at him in return, all fond and sweet, and then ask him why. 
What have you got to be sorry for, Matty?
God, his heart hurt with it all. It hurt. It hurt.
Fuck did it hurt.
“Babe, you alright?”
He blinked, hard, and then, “Yeah, just, nervous you know?”
She chuckled at him. Exactly like he said she would. All fond and sweet. Lovely, like her.
“Nervous?” Squeaks repeated with one of those infamous smiles of hers, the kind that further stretched the scar going across the bridge of her nose and lit up her entire face.
Matty swallowed thickly at the sight but returned the smile all the same. It killed him, it really did, but he couldn’t say anything about it now. It had been days since it all happened and telling her of it would only hurt her more, he knew that. He knew it. And besides, no one had said a word. No one had mentioned it. So this was his secret to keep, and every relationship had those, didn’t they? His secret- 
And Teddy’s.
At the thought, Matty had to struggle not to throw up what little lined his stomach. 
Mouse stepped forward then, closing that distance between them to finger the collar of the polo he’d chosen only twenty minutes earlier, sorting out the kink he’d made in it when he’d tugged the thing on. 
“Can you blame me?” He finally spoke, gazing down at her now, at the curve of her mouth and the freckles that dotted her right cheek. Can you blame me? He wanted to ask her again, only for an entirely different reason.
She just chuckled once more, the soft sound of it danced in the little space shared between them. “You’ve already met.”
He widened his eyes in very real alarm. “You bein’ serious?”
That laugh again.
“Honestly, Matty. I get why you’re nervous, but it's just Adi.” She patted the collar down flat, hand slipping away to rest on his chest so that she could peer up at him. His own hands went to her hips almost unconsciously and he took a deep breath.
“It’s Finn, too.”
Finn. That had been eating away at him as well, the whole fact that Squeaks had gone out of her way to set up this little meeting for them. So that he could finally meet the man who’d been her best mate since uni and who had basically helped her raise Teddy. 
Typically- i.e. before rehab- he’d deal with a situation like this with a quick hit, a rub of the gums or just a line in the loo to get his head to work the way he wanted it to. So that he wouldn't have to deal with all the emotions that always seemed to want to fuck him over. But he couldn’t do that. Knew he wouldn’t. Didn’t stop the fucking itch though, did it.
“Yes, it’s Finn too.” Matty tuned back in at the sound of her somewhat amused voice, he found that she was pursuing her mouth at him to hide her growing grin. “But it’s just that, just Finn. You don’t have to stress. Honestly, the most you’ll get is a hard glare or a few pushy questions, but then he’ll be sound. Love you even.”
Love.
Matty’s mind lingered on the word for a moment, but she was smiling now, looking up at him with those eyes of hers. He lifted a hand to stroke along the edge of her cheek, trailing a thumb over a faint pink line that was covered up slightly by makeup, and wondered what she would say if he just told her now.
“I find that hard to believe,” He answered instead, watching the movement his hand made before his eyes flickered back to meet hers, “People either love me or hate me, you see.”
“Oh, is that so?” Squeaks laughed, the hand not resting on his chest moving to circle his wrist. “Bit egotistical of you to assume you mean that much to everyone you meet. I mean, I doubt the postman gives you a second thought, lovely.”
Matty reeled his head back a tad with that, pursing his lips at her words even though he loved it when she teased him like this. “You not heard any of my songs?”
He was gifted an airy snort in return and she then patted his chest before stepping away. Matty watched on as his hand slipped from her cheek. 
“I have, which is why I’m not too surprised that you’ve worked yourself up about this so much.” He saw her smirk and then she tutted at him, “Always one for theatrics, Matthew.”
He lunged then in a playful attempt to grab at her, but she jumped away with a gleeful laugh and a second to spare, scurrying back into the living room before his fingers could capture the t-shirt she’d chosen to wear- a vintage band tee, one of his he reminded himself.
“We’re off soon,” She called out not a second later, leaving him standing there alone in the hallway once more, “So make sure you’re ready to leave, your highness!”
Matty huffed a small laugh and then took a deep breath. He could do this, if not for himself then for her.
As expected, Finn did give him a hard time. 
The pair of them had wandered into the studio not long after Squeaks had dropped Teddy off at nursery, Matty waiting in the car this time around so as to not be seen, and found Adi already there with the mysterious Finn lounging on the settee, looking so at home. 
He was a good looking guy, Matty had noticed that first. Rugged and built a bit like that of a rugby player. He had a beard as full as the hair on his head, a rival to Ross’s own, and was far from what Matty had been first expecting in truth. 
When Squeaks had said that the guy was an artist, he’d automatically pictured some lanky fella, maybe with wired frames or a ponytail. But Finn was nothing of the sort, in fact he might’ve been the total opposite, and that made meeting him all the more unnerving. Because Matty hadn’t quite prepared for this.
Finn had a good few inches on him too, which was hard to miss and made it that much harder for Matty to not be as intimated as he wanted to be. A kick to that old ego of his Squeaks had mentioned earlier, but Matty could admit to feeling a bit out of his league amongst the guy, if only to himself.
The meeting had started off with the usual ‘you hurt her, I’ll hurt you’ warning, then trailed onto simple introduction and conversation starters. But Matty was well aware of these carefully arranged stares that never seemed to stray as time ticked on, which put him on edge and had him clenching down on his jaw hard enough to keep from biting at the bloke.
But the looks had ebbed slowly. Finn relaxed, bit by bit. And Matty? Matty tried his fucking hardest to make himself more than likeable. He attempted to mention Finn’s work and his own interest in art, which hadn’t gone down as well as he’d liked, he’d admit. So he’d quickly made do and switched tactics, asking him if he was interested in football at all, but of course the guy just had to be a sodding Sunderland supporter. As if Matty hadn’t already been pulling at teeth. 
It was just after that though, that Finn took the opportunity to finally seek a change in pace, and Matty had honest to God been thankful for the sudden interest Finn took in him, the man leaning forward in his seat ever so slightly and looking as though he wanted to ask him a question. 
And he did, only, it was one Matty hadn’t exactly been expecting so soon.
“So, you really clean then?”
Matty didn’t think he’d ever forget the way the entire room fell silent at that.
Finn’s voice was gruff, northern much like his own but more so. His words pooled out of his mouth so clumped together but low enough that his tone could be mistaken for soft, though only if you were stupid enough not to notice the harsh grunt behind them. 
Matty blinked back at him, honestly not at all ashamed to admit that the question had caught him off guard. Though, maybe he should’ve been expecting it. It was a question he’d come to hear as often as ‘How’re you?’ since he’d gotten out of his first stint in rehab. 
But still, now? In a space he’d come to feel a comfort in, around people he’d grown so close to? It made him feel like an imposter. Like he was just playing pretend here until everything in his life went tits up again.
“Finn, what the fuck?”
Pulling his gaze away, Matty turned to find Squeaks glaring at her mate, who was still sat on the settee, looking perfectly content with it all.
“You being serious?” She continued on, having paused her conversation with Adi entirely to level Finn with a stare that made even Matty nervous, “Where’d you get off on asking him that? Quite rightly, I don't think it’s any of your business.”
“Like fuck, it isn’t. He’s dating you, in’t he?” Finn immediately shot back at her and Matty watched on as Adi mirrored his exact movements, head rolling back over to where Finn met Mouse’s glare head on with one of his own. Only, his wasn’t fueled by anger, instead a stern sort of seriousness Matty had only ever really witnessed as a kid on his Grandad, who’d been a proud and stubborn man.
Mouse scoffed and shook her head at him, “Exactly, he’s dating me. Last time I checked, you weren’t included in that description.”
“I’m your mate, Mouse.” The man was quick to defend, looking hurt now. “It’s my job to look out for you, and I don’t care if that pisses you off. The shit I’ve heard about him ain't at all good and, in truth, I entertained all of it in the beginning, but I never actually once thought you’d end up fucking him.”
Another eerie silence wreaked havoc on the unsteady atmosphere.
“What’s that meant to mean?”
She was calm now, none of that revving rage spurring her voice on like it had done just moments earlier. Matty didn’t know how this would end, only that he’d never heard her speak like that in all the time she’d known him.
“What’s it meant to- what do you think it means! Exactly that.” Finn fired back at her, steeling his already hardened eyes, “You were getting back out there, flirting and texting. Just having a fuckin’ good time for once! And that was all nice and well, but now you tell me you’re actually with him? That you're making a go of it?” He barked out a sharp laugh, “What happens when he fucks everything up and uses again? You planning to be there for him when it all falls down around you? ‘Cause it’s only a matter of time, Mouse. Let me tell you.”
That hit. Hard.
Enough so that Matty surprised even himself at the suddenness of his voice, harsh but steady in the cautious quiet that had engulfed them all and splintering the growing rift between the two friends. “Where do you get off on saying that then?”
He met the other man’s eyes and noted the displeasure which swam in them.
“Nah, honestly ‘cause I’d really like to know. You have no idea what the fuck I’ve done, what I’ve been through, only what you’ve seen in the media. Yeah?” Matty barrelled on, pushing forward in his seat so that he could rest his forearms on the tops of his knees, actively trying not to show just how much the bloke’s assumptions had hindered him. “So go on then, tell me. Tell me what you’ve worked out about me in the past half hour that you’ve had to actually get to know me.”
Matty received a mirthless snuff in return, along with a slight shake of head, “Not much to add that I haven’t already said.”
Matty licked at his lower lip then because he knew if he didn’t take a second to think he’d lash out, fuck things up more than they already had been. After, he lifted his chin up at the other man in a slow nod.
“Right, yeah, because I haven’t just sat here making an arse out of myself, trying to find some common ground with you.” He gave a short humourless laugh that seemed to flood the studio, “But I'm gonna remind you of something, I’m only here for her, and her alone. So you can save all your jokes and your tragic fucking questions, alright? Because it’s one thing to actually want to know for her wellbeing, and even Teddy’s fucking safety. But to throw it in my face is another fucking thing, mate.”
Matty stood up at that, on shaky legs yes, but who did he have to fucking admit that to? Then patted down his pockets in search of a fucking smoke, shifting past the too large coffee table in the suddenly too small room to make his exit. 
He took another small breath though, a much needed one in fact, when he passed by Squeaks, who was sat there looking so angry and lost and humiliated, and didn’t even have to force himself to give her a pained sort of smile as he did. He didn’t dare touch her though, not sure if she’d want it, but did say, “I’ll be outside.”
She swallowed thickly in turn, Matty saw the motion of it as her throat bobbed and she turned to look up into his eyes. He was quick to look away, hands itching for something to hit, to cling to. 
The steel staircase was a welcome sight, even with their too many flights, but the kerbed sidestreet sat beyond it was one better. Matty all but gasped for breath the second he pushed through the heavy door, eager to relieve the ache crushing his lungs and burning a hole in his chest.
Childishly he kicked out some of that restrained aggression on the brick wall of the building a second later, revelling in the ringing pain which radiated up through his foot and to his leg, then did so again until he calmed enough to yank his pack from his jacket pocket and fall against it.
The fuck did the twat get off on saying shit like that to him? A stranger to boot. Fair enough, think it all you like, wouldn’t affect him then, he could honestly give less of a shit, but to his face? That was fucking brave. Tactless. 
Matty scoffed at the whirlwind of thoughts his mind was made up of, teeth cutting into the tip of his tongue as he scraped the muscle along their ridged edge.
He couldn’t help but linger on Finn’s words though, wondering if that really was all that he was good for. A fun time, or a quick line. Some faceless person on a drunken one night stand, or the famous singer some fan was hoping to bag. 
Matty had his phone in hand and his contact list pulled up before he could even realise it, the gesture second nature to him now. Something goes wrong? Call the closest dealer. That was the way it went, the way it had always gone.
But he couldn’t, not this time. He’d said he’d stick with it, he said he would. And there was still a chance. There was still a shitty piece of hope that had managed to lodge its way inside his chest telling him that Squeaks could still stick around, wasn’t there?
He laughed to himself at the mere idea of it. At how stupid he must’ve seemed, back there. To a man who’d probably never had to feel the mind numbing shakes of withdrawal or a paranoia that stretched a mile long. Who’d never been forced to deal with hallucinations that made you borderline suicidal, or an imminent need to peel the skin from off your bones.
Matty felt sick with it all. Hands trembling with the anger and anxiety he felt as he raised them up towards his face to light his fag.
He was fucking trying.
God, was he trying. And yet, people still asked for more than that. 
Where the fuck did Finn get off on cornering him like some little kid anyway? On looking down on him like some junkie sprawled out on a slab step up on the high street?
It fucking angered him, filled him with this senseless rage and evident misery that everything would soon come crushing down around him.
Things were too good to be true.
He knew that fact like he knew his own face.
It was only after he’d managed to dwindle his fag right down to the very nub that Matty realised he’d been sat on the kerb, head hanging between his knees, whilst the rest of the world had seemingly carried on around him, none the wiser to him and his many issues. He only seemed to register it though when the familiar sound of the studio’s heavy door squeaked open, hinges piercing down the hushed sidestreet. 
She joined him there on the pavement after a moment's hesitation, a moment he wouldn’t dare admit gnawed at his heart.
“I want to say sorry for Finn, but I know you wouldn’t care much for that.”
Matty wanted to laugh at her opening, at least he could say that she knew him that much.
She merely sighed though when he kept quiet and revelled in the way her elbow brushed against the side of his arm, lighting up each nerve that laid there. “He claims he’s being protective, but even I knew he was acting like a prick.”
Matty just hummed, already drawing another cigarette from his battered box. A small smile tugged at the corner of his mouth though when she thieved one for herself.
“Honestly, I don’t know what the fuck to say.” She admitted after allowing him to light its end, which was something he appreciated, seeing as how he was in the same fucking boat with that. “I just, I don’t know. I wish he’d have voiced his concerns a bit better, or at least to me before I went and arranged this whole shit show.”
Matty chewed on the inside of his cheek, weighing her words as he took another drag. He let the smoke fester and fill his mouth, coating his tongue before he finally hummed once more.
Though it seemed like she’d already gotten sick of that. “That all I’m gonna get then, just a hm?”
It was his turn to sigh then and a swirl of grey escaped with it. 
“What do you want me to say, Mouse?”
She frowned, although he didn’t know exactly why, before pulling her attention down towards the gravel road. She shrugged the shoulder nearest to him and said, “That it didn’t bother you. That you know he’s just a prat who’s acting the big brother. That you don’t really believe a word he says is true.”
Matty turned to peer over at her then, cigarette hand resting on the knob of his knee, smouldering in the light breeze. “Then I’d be lying.”
But you’re already a liar, his head screamed. 
What’s one, or two more?
He looked away from her at that, nose suddenly stinging as his eyes began to itch. Then quickly took another drag. 
She shuffled closer, jeans scratching at the grit of the kerb beneath them, and he was only slightly surprised when she laid her head to rest on the curve of his arm. “Does it matter? What Finn thinks, or what anyone thinks?”
How could it not? He wanted to ask her.
“I don’t know, Squeaks.” He replied instead, noting how she smiled sadly before she raised her fag up to her mouth. 
“I’m happy, Matty. Happier than I’ve been in a long time.” She revealed to him, a quiet whisper catching on the wind. Matty could hear the honesty in her words, the kind that thawed at the emotional wall he’d been building between himself and the rest of the world since he were a kid. “Are you?”
And that was the punch that sent it all falling. 
Was he happy?
He thought so, maybe more than he’d ever truly been.
So he told her that, voice thick as a wall of broken bricks settled around him. And although he kept on looking straight, he took her hand in his, “Yeah. I am.”
The days that followed ‘Finn’s Fucked Up Fuck-Up’- as I’d come to dub it as- were rocky, to say the very least. 
Matty had pulled away from me slightly, claiming that he had studio time and album stuff to work on, whilst I was busy ignoring my best friend. Which was a rather hard task to do when you were so used to having a constant rapport with someone. 
In truth, the whole thing was eating me up inside, but I knew it would turn around sooner or later. Things couldn’t get worse than they already had. 
And I had to believe that. 
“You seem down, ma chérie.”
I picked at the corner edge of the settee. It was one of those odd days, where everything appeared so quiet and you were left with nothing much that was worth doing. 
Teddy was already at nursery, Matty had texted to say that he was with Jamie, and Adi had gone to see her Grandmother. 
It had been a long while since I’d not had a day packed full of work, even my email box sat strangely empty. Which had left me on the sofa with fuck all to do until I had to go a pick up Teds again. But then I’d received a call from my mum.
“Non, not down. Just, things are a bit hectic at the moment.” I replied to her, smiling in the hopes that it would somehow ease all her worries, but that frown she wore held fast.
“Parle-moi, je t'en prie.” She sighed, shaking her head at me, or rather the situation, “How can I help when you won’t talk to me?”
My mouth wrinkled as I cast my eyes about the rest of the room. I didn’t want to talk about it with her, or at all in truth. But she had a way of forcing things out of me and I knew that she’d see the situation for what it was, so I ended up relaying the last few weeks of my life to her and waited impatiently to see how she’d react.
I received only a soft hum from her at first, her attention focused on something above the camera for a long moment before it trailed back on over to me. “I don’t know much of him, this Matty of yours, ma Souris. You know I only read my newspaper each morning and steer clear of the web.” 
I smiled at that, the web, it reminded me of days back home and the route I’d had to walk to get a decent signal before she had finally agreed to fitting the wifi. She continued on though, none the wiser to the train my thoughts had wandered onto.
“He seemed to make you happy when I came to visit, and I witnessed how he was with Teddy. I knew then that he felt something for you, but you, you have always been so hard to read.” She tittered softly at that, smiling at me through a screen, and not for the first time did I wish that she wasn’t so far away. “It was in the kitchen though, that I realised you felt the same. Although, I don’t think you knew it.”
I rolled my eyes, the tiny beginnings of a smile playing on my lips. “We were friends.”
“Ah les amis!” She tutted, not daring to speak the English word as she waved my sorry attempt at a defence away, “You two were never just that, not really. I told you from the start, non? You were glowing, chérie. I knew it like the sun knows the sky, that he would be it for you.”
I swallowed heavily at the surety in her tone and then glanced away, fingers tightening around my phone.
“Souris, I adore Finn, you know that. But do not allow his words to mar what you feel. If this Matty feels the same way then he won’t let it either. Things will work out, one way or another. Tu verras.”
He looked good. That was the first thought that hit me when I rounded the corner only to instantly spot him.
He was stood, grinning softly over at George, who appeared to be spinning some kind of tale or other whilst the pair of them smoked outside of the studio they’d been hiding away in. It was an obsolete building, dull and grey, and had a low metal fencing just beyond the main entrance.
Matty wore his usual wash of denim, along with a shirt just a darker shade of blue beneath an old leather bomber. I smiled at the sight of him, and took a second to steel myself.
Even though it had only been a couple of days since I’d seen Matty last, I really had missed the insolent idiot. 
“Oi aren’t you from that one band?”
Both Matty and George seemed to jump at the sound of my teasing lilt, heads shooting up over to find that it was just me standing there with a grin. I snorted at the looks on the pair of their faces, eyes as wide as dinner plates and jaws ajar. 
“Christ, you scared the shit outta me.” Matty breathed, shaking his head at me even though he was now sporting the beginnings of a grin, I felt a weight slip off my shoulders at the sight of it. “What are you even doing here?”
Wanting to dampen my pleased little smile, I pulled my mouth up to one side as Matty roped me into a hug, glad that he actually seemed happy to see me. 
I buried my face into his shoulder and felt him relax a fraction in my hold, it made me wonder if he’d been feeling a similar way. 
It had been hard, not knowing what would come next for us after the whole Finn fiasco, but seeing Matty now only further proved to me that I really wanted things to work out between us. He made things brighter, made me want for myself for the first time in a long time.
“Jamie mentioned you were recording, so I asked what time you might be wrapping up.” I answered him with a small shrug, pulling away to smile over at George in hello but more than grateful for the arm that Matty kept wrapped around me. “That alright?”
I was ashamed to admit that it had been a very real fear, one which had almost made me turn around a couple of times on my over, but I was glad now that I hadn’t.
“‘Course it’s alright, you pillock. You’re always welcome here.” 
I blinked in slight surprise, because it hadn’t been Matty that had chosen to reply to me, but George. “Oh.”
The drummer snorted, thoroughly amused, it seemed, by my monosyllabic response. Matty chuckled too, dipping his head down to brush his nose against my temple and press a slow kiss to my cheek. I almost held my breath, having missed having him so close.
“Missed you.” He murmured to me quietly, almost as though he’d just gone and read my mind, but then he was drawing away again. Not too far though, instead he moved to stand behind me and allowed his arms to hang over both my shoulders. 
I smiled, contented, and he raised his lit cigarette to my lips in a silent offer. I took a small drag, feeling a flush rush to my face when I caught the way George stood smirking at the pair of us. 
I lifted a hand up to encase one of Matty’s forearms, enjoying the way he pulled me in even closer so that I could lean against him, his chin coming to rest on the top of my head. 
“How’s it been going then?” I asked and the two of them were quick to delve into an explanation on their newest song, jumping over one another’s sentences in their giddiness to finally tell someone else about what they’d been working on. 
And just like that things seemed to slot back into place. 
It wasn’t too long later that George said to Matty that he could go ahead and leave, letting us know that he’d be heading back inside to clean up the track they’d been playing with, and Matty hadn’t argued. Instead, he’d grinned down at me as he took hold of my hand, cheersing George before we said our goodbyes. 
Together, we ended up in a little coffee shop a street or two away. Matty had wanted to surprise me with the order, so I had stood by the window and waited whilst he’d gone to pay. He handed me a cup full of something sweet once he’d returned, more sugar than anything else in truth, but I liked it all the same and sipped on it slowly whilst he’d led us back through the bustling streets towards a neighbouring park.
It was almost freeing to be out like this with him, seeing him smile and laugh whilst we simply walked with no real destination in mind. It was not an image most typically saw of Matty, that I knew. On stage he wore his front like armour, when there were cameras he was cocksure and arrogant, but then, in small moments with me, he appeared only settled.
“How’s Teddy?” Matty asked me soon enough. He looked over at me with this odd sort of expression, genuinely curious as well as concerned, and my heart melted a tad.
I returned the soft smile he gave, “Good. Missing this weirdo we’ve gotten used to hanging about, but he’s been happy.”
Matty rolled his eyes and nudged my shoulder with his own, swaying alongside me. He peered down at his almost empty coffee cup, tapping at its cardboard edge. “Has he said anything?”
I frowned over at him, “What, about you being gone?”
He peered back, eyes flickering left and right between my own before he ultimately nodded his head just the once.
Pursing my lips, I thought his question over. “He asked if we could call you a couple times, and if you were popping round. But other than that, he’s been fine with us just texting. Laughed himself blue in the face when he saw that picture you sent him yesterday.”
Matty snorted. “What, ‘cause I trod in dog shit?”
I hummed, then peered down at his feet, glad to see that he wasn't still wearing the boots he’d shown us the day previous. Matty rolled his eyes, catching on to what I’d been doing.
“And you?” He then asked, as the two of us strolled around a slow bend.
I glanced over at him, glad to see him already looking back, “I missed you.”
It was brave of me to say. I didn’t much like being vulnerable, but with him, he almost made it easy. 
Matty smiled. This soft, sure thing. Then looped an arm around my shoulders to tug me in, I let myself hug his waist as I leant further into his side, grinning stupidly when he said, “Missed you too, Squeaks.”
Matty followed me home after our impromptu coffee date and we talked some more all the walk there, mostly just content to be in one another's company again. And when it was time to pick Teddy from nursery, he waited at the flat for us both. He had been on the sofa when I’d left, but I noticed that there was a savoury smell filling the air the minute I returned.
I glanced down at my son, who seemed to be none the wiser to it, still chattering on about the new toy his class had been given whilst he tugged off his coat.
“Shoes too, please.”
Teddy hummed at me, smiling away as he hurriedly kicked them off. “We watch tele ‘night?” He asked, bouncing on the balls of his feet as he waited for me to pull off my own boots and follow. 
I chuckled and ran a hand through his windswept hair, remembering the conversation we’d had that same morning, “Promised, didn’t I?”
Teddy uhuhed and nodded up at me, before spinning around to probably make a beeline for the living room, as he tended to often do. Though he stopped short when he caught a glimpse of a certain curly headed someone who had taken up perch against the door frame there.
“Matty!” Teddy practically shouted before he ran full pelt towards the man who was swift enough to grab him by the arms and hoist him up.
Matty made a wounded sound when Teddy squeezed him into a tight hug, then chuckled to himself as he rubbed a hand down Teddy’s back, “Alright, monster?” 
And with that a dam of questions flooded the flat as Teddy wanted to know about everything and anything he had missed in the short time they had spent apart.
I knew that alone should’ve worried me. As well as how clingy Teddy suddenly became as the night continued on, but when I saw the way the two of them interacted with one another, Teds always eager to have Matty in his presence and Matty forever looking fond, I couldn’t help but brush the thoughts away. 
We spent the rest of our evening together, Matty had somehow managed to wrangle up a couple servings of a creamy pasta bake- one he appeared to have made, going off of the mountain of plates in my sink. Which had been as endearing as it was startling, leading me to question how he’d done it… His mum, apparently. Who had been surprised by his sudden call and the need to cook, as well as the reasoning behind it.
“She knows about me then?” I wondered, twirling with my fork whilst the three of us ate, the radio playing low.
Matty looked over at me, almost bashfully, and shrugged, “Sort of.”
I couldn’t help my laughter, “Sort of? What’s that meant to mean?”
“She knows I’m seeing someone,” He answered with a gentle smile and a roll of his eyes, “And that, I’m serious about it.” He spoke that next bit slowly, almost a little apprehensive, which only widened my growing grin.
I wiggled my brows teasingly, but stayed quiet as I wanted him to go on.
Matty merely chuckled as he shrugged again, “Yeah. She’s just excited for us, for me- which feels weird. Wants to meet you, too.”
I tried to hide my sudden nervousness, I’d never done the whole meet your boyfriend’s parents thing. “Why’s it feel weird?” I asked instead of lingering on it, ‘cross that bridge when you get to it’ and all that shit.
Matty glanced over to Teddy who appeared to be trying his best to see around the kitchen doorway and into the living room where the tele was still on. He gave a warm smile at the sight.
“Just not something I’ve experienced in a long time, I guess. I love her, I do, but she knows firsthand how deep I was in with everything. Felt like she’d given up on me at one point, to be honest. So, having her, I don’t know, say that she’s excited for me, makes it seem like she’s proud almost.”
I reached over the table to take his hand and squeezed, “She is.”
Matty let the topic go after that, tickling Teddy’s side to get his attention and remind him of his dinner, telling him we’d watch tele in a bit. Which was exactly what we did once we’d washed up and dried off, the three of us bundled up on the settee together whilst Hook played. 
Matty talked my ear off about Spielberg as the opening titles ran, and then about how if he could have ever been in a film as a kid he’d have wanted to act alongside Robin Williams. Teddy listened, enraptured by his every word, and all the more excited to watch what Matty had deemed a classic.
I made popcorn halfway through when Teddy had needed the loo, Matty running in just after him and shouting out not to press play again until he was there.
By the end of it, Teddy was falling asleep on Matty’s shoulder whilst the man stared at the tv screen, watching quietly as Peter called out for Tink under the statue.
I was happy enough to just watch them though, smiling softly at the picture they painted, Teddy’s little hand holding onto Matty’s and Matty’s arm wrapped around Teds.
When the final credits rolled, Matty sniffed and peered down to find a dozing Teddy, the boy’s mouth open as he breathed out soft puffs of air.
“Here,” I went to say, sitting up to take him, but Matty was already moving, albeit carefully so as to not wake him, shaking his head at me.
“I’ve got him.”
My breath hitched at those three words, insignificant to anyone else, but everything to me.
Matty gave a soundless chuckle once he’d positioned Teddy in his arms, pressing a kiss to his curls before putting him to bed. I followed after them once I’d turned off the tele, shuffling quietly over the wooden floors, I paused though just before I got to Teddy’s door, surprised to hear voices coming from inside.
“You liked it then?”
I heard Teddy give a quiet hum in return, as well as the slight ruffle of bedsheets. “Was nice.”
“Just nice?” Matty chuckled lowly and I could picture him tucking Teddy in before taking a seat on the mattress beside him. 
“I liked that he came home.” Teddy murmured and then it was Matty’s turn to hum.
“Me too, he got to see all of his family again.”
There was a quiet lull, before, “‘Cause they love him?”
I could hear the smile in Matty’s next words, “They do. Very much, I reckon. As much as your mum loves you.”
“I love her.”
A teary smile broke out on my face at that and my eyes stung with it, forever warmed by how sweet Teddy could be.
Then, “You love me, Matty?”
My next breath lodged itself in the back of my throat at Teddy’s simple question whilst Matty fell utterly silent.
It felt as though all the air had not just been sucked out the room, but the entire flat as I stood there by the door just listening.
But then there was the faintest sound and I knew that Matty had pressed a kiss to Teddy’s head, “‘Course I do. I love you a whole lot, monster.”
Teddy must have been fighting to stay awake then but eventually I heard him speak again, his voice muffled with sleep, “Love you too, Matty.”
I don’t know how long until I heard movement again, only that my heart pounded hard in my chest whilst the blood in my ears roared. I had known for a long time now how fond Matty was of Teddy, it was all too easy to recognise, but to hear him say that he loved him. That he loved my little boy. Was something I hadn’t really ever expected.
But that was just who Matty was, I thought, he loved. Wholeheartedly. And I supposed it had only been a matter of time before he let Teddy know.
I visibly startled when Matty appeared in the doorway, pulling the door quietly shut behind him. He blinked when he caught me there too, but I didn’t give him much time to question me, only sprang forward when the latch clicked to kiss him.
Matty returned it easily enough, fingers moving to thread through my hair, keeping up with my hasty pace before he managed to slow us down, kissing me deeper and deeper before pulling away with a soft and deliberate peck.
His breath came out in pants, fanning over my lips as he kept us close, pressing his forehead to mine. “What was that for?”
“Because I love you.”
I couldn’t believe I’d been the one to say it first, but how could I not? After all that I’d heard. And in truth, it had just come out.
“What?” He whispered, eyes unblinking as he waited for me to take the words back. I half expected him to pull away, to laugh it off, or just kiss me once more, but that was his only question.
I took his chin between my fingertips, gaze flickering down to his lips then back up into the heady brown that was so focused on me. “I love you.” I murmured again, heart beating loud enough that I feared he could hear it.
But Matty only pushed forward, nose catching on my own as he shook his head ever so softly. “You mean it.”
It wasn’t a question.
“I mean it.”
Then Matty was grinning, bright and unashamed, catching my breath all over again before he pushed forward to press his mouth against mine.
“I fucking love you.” He said, giddy as his hands cradled my face, chuckling away in disbelief. “God, do I.”
Then I was chuckling too, thumb brushing over his bottom lip as I stared up into his squinted eyes. “Stay?”
And Matty nodded, as though it was that easy, hands falling to my thighs. “Jump.” He told me, and so I did, letting him kiss me again in the dimly lit hallway that he’d just told me he loved me in.
He loved me.
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bobattef · 5 months
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in the shadows.
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“You still here miss y/n?” The office security guard lightly tapping on your desk causes you to glance up from your computer.
“Oh hey Lars” you smiled tiredly.
“Yeah just finishing up a few bits then I’ll be out”
He just nods politely as he walks away, continuing on one of his routine walks of the building.
You glance up at the timer ticking above you, a little surprised.
Everyone else had clocked out around the sound of the klaxon that would signal an end of the work day.
But there’s you, some time later still, uploading word vomit into your research files.
You yawn quite loudly as you click save and close down your computer.
Tucking your chair back under the desk like you always would.
You grab your coat off the office peg, checking your communication box for any messages, sighing out loud when there’s no new notifications.
Switching the floors light off, you close the lid of the clocking out machine slowly, adding the extra time up in your head.
It’s so dark in the corridors behind you as you squint your eyes into the now shrouded walkway.
*why does Larsy do his nighttime checks in the dark* you shudder to yourself as you pull a small torch-pen out, pressing the button to help eliminate the way to the main doors.
You hadn’t been working in the TVA vaults for long.
Time definitely worked differently here but you knew you had clocked in and back out again a total of 164 times so must be about 5 months now?
You were working your way up to a promotion at the moment, hence the later clocking out time stamps compared to your associates.
“I’m gone now Lars…Goodnight” you shout out as you walked past the security desk at the front of the building.
You were almost out the main glassed doors before you realised he hadn’t shouted his goodbyes back.
You turn around, staring back at the un manned desk you hadn’t spotted a few moments ago.
“Lars?” You call out as you see his empty chair being illuminated by the many tv screens he had on throughout his shift.
Walking slowly back towards it now, you take a small pocket knife out of your coat, flicking the blade open.
You’ve always carried protection on you, often being laughed at by your work colleagues after being told there was never a threat here at the TVA.
Yet here you were, about to use it on anyone and everyone who would be jumping out on you tonight.
As you step past the opening of the table, you spot a pair of shoes sticking out from behind the chair.
“Lars!!” You almost screech as you drop your knife in panic and rush over to where he was laid on the ground. 
You couldn’t see much in the dim light but he was definitely unconscious, you search for a pulse and feel relief wash over you when you find one.
“Lars…” you gently call out his name.
“Hey…Larsy!” You say louder now as you slightly shake his shoulder.
“He cant answer you” the deep voice from behind causes you to spin round in panic.
Standing before you was a tall man, wearing a dark suit made up of different kinds of green and black shades.
You worked your line of vision upwards for what seemed like ages before setting your eyes on his.
They were looking deeply into yours, like you were prey.
You glance slightly to your left, catching where you had dropped your pocket knife on the ground earlier.
As you lunge towards it, the mysterious man seems to guess your movement and kicks out, your knife goes skimming across the tiled floor.
“Wha…what did you do to…?” You can’t even finish your sentence before he steps closer to you now. Grabbing you by the collar of your work shirt, he pulls you up to your feet with no effort at all.
You struggle against his grasp as you can feel him start to lift you into the air, your feet dangling, trying to find some sort of surface to land on.
He tilts his head slightly as he tries to work you out.
You weren’t wearing the same armour as the security guard that was passed out beneath him. 
You simply looked like an analyst or office book worm of some sort as he runs his eyes over your brown blouse and skirt.
You stop trying to fight him as you can feel his eyes on you, raking your body as you feel your cheeks heat up slightly.
*what is wrong with you* you think internally.
*this..stranger has you by the scruff of the neck, after taking out one of your security guards and the only thing you could think of was how close he was to you, the size of his hands as he held onto you, the darkness that pooled in his eyes as he stared down at you*
“Who are you?” He simply stated as he could see you were having an internal conversation with your self.
“I…I er…” you swallowed as your throat felt dry.
He raised his eyebrows at you stuttering.
“My…name is y/n…” you tell him as he focuses on your lips moving “and er, I’m a strategist” you add on as you start to cough with the restricting hold the man had on your neck.
“A strategist?” He repeated doubtfully.
You had no further words than to nod. You were sure you would either pass out or be sick if you tried to move your voice box.
“Then what’s with the weapon?” The man asked you as you stared back at him confused.
“The knife” he snaps as he can tell you weren’t keeping up with him. 
“Protection” you splutter out as he lowers you down slowly, releasing the tightness round your neck a little. 
“From?” He asked, genuinely as he drops his hands from you completely.
“People taking out my security guards” you reply back as he chuckles at your quick wit.
“What are you even doing here?” The man asks you as he wonders where you came from.
He had scoped the place out a few times yet he’s never had another in this particular building apart from the one security guard.
“What..what are you doing here?” You ask him his own question as he raises an eyebrow at you. 
“Escaping” he smirked as he pointed at you to answer him now. 
“Working” you say to him as if it was the most obvious thing to say.
“At this time….alone?” He asks as his mouth curls up into a half smile.
You just shrug.
Your feelings of being scared of the man were dropping by the minute.
You no longer saw this menacing being as a threat the more he spoke to you.
“Well I’d love to stay and finish this, riveting conversation but…” the sarcasm seems to ooze out of his voice as he starts to walk away from you now.
“What about Lars??” You blurt out.
He turns on the spot “what about him?” He shrugs.
“Is he going to be ok??” The concern in your voice alleviates it slightly.
He sighs out as if you were supposed to fully understand.
“He’ll be fine” he tells you “…its a temporary thing. Just think of it as…dreaming” he smirks.
You look between him and Lars now, you shouldn’t believe a word this man says to you yet you do.
You stand at the desk whilst you watch him stalk down the corridors towards your labs.
Disappearing into the shadows.
You finally manage to regulate your breathing as you grab your pocket knife from the floor and think about how to move Lars into a more comfortable position.
But your heart rate is sent rocketing once more as the TVA alarms blare out through the sound system above you.
Your hands fly up to cover your ears as you rush round to the tv screens.
Scanning the many different rooms they project back for the cause of the alarm.
Sure enough, it’s the mysterious man that was now stood in front of the TVA time pad vault.
The room being lit up under the red flashing lights as the alarm almost mimics the movement of them. 
You press a few buttons on the keyboard that was in front of you.
Sighing out loud as the alarms come to an abrupt stop, leaving behind a slight ringing in your ears.
You weren’t trained as a security guard but you had read the TVA guidebook to almost everything so knew certain access codes or in this case, control codes.
You slump back on the large swivel chair Lars must of sat on before being taken out unexpectedly. 
You didn’t realise you had closed your eyes until you feel them fly open at the voice stood in front of you now.
It was the man again.
This time instead of a cheeky smile on his face, his eyes were narrowed as he frowned.
“Just a strategist hmm?” He snaps at you as you look back at him puzzled.
“How did you disable the security system??” He asks you as you realise what he meant from his comments.
It definitely wasn’t common knowledge how to over ride the alarms and you had known the security guard by his first name.
He steps behind the desk once more as you stay frozen to the chair.
You definitely relaxed around him a few moments ago but now you felt a little scared by the way he was towering over you.
“Please…I erm…I just” your voice waivers as see something glint in the mysterious man’s eye.
He’s lived his life making people afraid of him.
He had great joy knowing others were scared of his presence but when he saw that familiar look of fear in your eyes he didn’t have the normal gloating feeling like before.
This was weird. 
Felt deep in the pit of his stomach.
“Hmm” he mumbled as he leans towards you, shaking off the uncomfortable senses.
Your words have escaped your mouth, you had no thoughts as you didn’t know how to explain anything right now.
“I need you” he simply states as you’re taken a back.
“You do?” You ask him, confused at his choice of words.
He exhales a breath out as he knows he doesn’t have the time to explain anything right now so instead he just grabs you by the arm and marches you both down the dark corridor.
Your little legs struggling to keep up with his larger strides.
“Open it” he barks at you as you stand before the time pad vault.
You furrow your eyebrows at him “what for?”
He looks at you as if you were speaking another language.
He didn’t like the fact he had scared you earlier at the security desk but you were wasting valuable time right now.
He definitely needs your help so must remain calm as to get you to comply but your stupid questions grind on him.
“Open it…please” he presses his lips together on the please, you watch as his jaw clenches.
You stare blankly at him.
Why does he want a vault unlocked of time pads when you can just use yours?
“You’re after a time pad?” You ask him trying to clear up the confusion.
He feels like shaking you out of frustration.
You gulp as you can clearly see you’re annoying him.
“Just use mine…” you quietly say to him pulling it out from your TVA issued coat.
“I…” he goes to tell you once more to open the damned door but as his eyes land on the time pad you had in your outstretched hand he’s silenced.
“You have a time pad??” He almost shouts.
“Yeah” you shrug “all strategists do…it’s what we work on” now it’s your turn to act like he’s speaking another language.
Everyone here knew both hunter pack leaders and strategists held the time pads.
He took the device from your hand a little too quickly.
Tapping away on it at speed whilst you stood there watching him.
He flickers his eyes up to yours.
You avoid his stare awkwardly as his eyes start to lose that look of urgency he had before.
As he was just about to press the button to open up a time jump, the door to the vault room is blown apart, causing you to duck in fright as the debris cloud of dust dances around you.
“Hands up!”
“Stay where you are!” 
“Drop the time pad Loki!!”
The booming voices of 4 hunters are shouting all kinds of directions to you as you freeze in shock.
You go to turn slowly round to face them as they point their time sticks at you, ready to prune.
Just before you’re able to face them fully, you’re pulled backwards by someone, thrown completely off balance you tumble, landing on something or someone with a thud.
You hear the person cough as you open your eyes, realising that you were sprawled across the chest of the mysterious man.
“Loki?!” You cry out as you try to get back on your feet.
You look around in panic to your new surroundings.
It was dark, it was quiet.
“You’re welcome” Loki says to you as he holds onto the side of your hips now.
Trying to regulate his breathing.
But with you pressed up against him, it’s hard to concentrate on anything else.
“You’re the Loki Laufeyson?��� You ask the man as you look up at his face in disbelief.
Please don’t say you just helped the god of mischief escape the hunters of the TVA.
“The one and only” he says cockily as he looks down to where your blouse was straining to keep its buttons done up.
You’ve heard of this Loki variant that had been sent to be pruned by the TVA, but in a change of events that no one would talk about, he ended up helping the TVA, working with them to hunt down variants himself.
“Where are we?” you sound panicked again as you can’t seem to work out the place you were stood in.
Loki shrugs as he wasn’t sure what he typed in that device.
“Timepad Loki!” You raise your voice at him in anger.
He bucks his hips upwards as he fumbles trying to grab the time pad that was tucked safely in his back pocket.
The movement causes your cheeks to heat a little as you can definitely feel something underneath your TVA issued skirt.
He goes to hand it over but stops mid way, why were you so annoyed with him, he literally just saved you from the pruning by the TVA.
Reluctantly, he hands it over as you sit up now, each one of your legs straddling his waist.
His eyes widen at the new position you’re both in as your skirt rides up past your thighs but you don’t notice the look on his face as you focus on the time pad. 
The device beeps twice as the light dims away from the cracked screen. 
“No!!” You sounded horrified so Loki looks up at you for answers.
“The batteries gone” You barely whisper out.
With the time pad having no power, there was no way to open up another time jump door, no way to choose a different time line, no way to escape.
“You gave me a dead time pad?!” It’s his turn to sound annoyed.
“Fuck!!” You curse out as Loki looks at you, surprised at the tone of your voice.
“Now what?!” You ask the darkness surrounding you.
You feel Loki twitch under you.
You were so caught up in trying to find an alternative escape route that you didn’t clock the compromising position you were in right now.
Loki leans up on his elbows, edging his face closer to yours.
You hardly get a chance to ask him what he was doing before you feel his lips being pressed against yours.
You don’t seem to have any control as you groan into his mouth, the sound causes him to kiss you harder.
He snakes a hand behind the back of your head, almost holding onto you as his tongue now joins his assault on your mouth.
You feel like you’re going to lose your breath as you’re pulled towards him.
He doesn’t break the kiss, you’ve never had a  man’s lips be on yours with this much urgency. 
Another moan leaving your mouth causes the god of mischief to dig his other hand into the flesh at your hips.
It seems like you don’t want an inch of thought as you start to grind on him, his hardness pressing against the fabric of your skirt.
You feel his hands on you, roaming your body.
The one that was gripping the back of your head so tightly moves down past your chest.
Teasing your hardened nipples that had started to show through your shirt now.
The other hands slip underneath the fabric of your skirt, the feel of his skin on yours causes you to take a deep breath in anticipation.
Just as his fingers started to stroke the now dampened lace of your underwear, you almost jump out of your own skin as you hear the distance shouts of others.
“Fuck! no!!” Loki curses now as he knows he has to stop what he was doing.
You almost froze to the spot, trying to figure out what to do but Loki springs into action.
He lifts you up effortlessly as he stands from the floor, panting slightly from your make out session.
He grabs hold of you under your arm as he starts to run down a corridor, hopefully in the opposite way of the hunters. 
His grip tightens on you as he starts to work out what to do, where to go.
He kicks open another door, shoving you inside.
He steps in after you, whilst slowly shutting the door behind him. 
“Loki…” you drop your voice down quieter to him as he stands in front of you now, his height allowing him to lean over you to press one ear on the metal listening out.
“Not know” he snaps at you. Trying to strain his hearing to reach further.
You go to answer him back but he places a hand over your mouth, stopping you in your tracks.
You hear the footsteps of people run past the door you were hidden behind as your eyes widen in shock at how close you were just now at being found.
You can feel your heart beating against your chest as fear strikes you yet again this evening.
Your eyes search the darkness for the face of Loki.
Still stood just before you, his hand not moving an inch from its grip across your face.
You can almost hear his quicken breaths also, feel his shallow breathing as his whole body is  pressed up against yours.
Your thoughts start running back to what you were doing just a few moments ago.
You lick your lips slightly behind that large hand of his as he tenses slightly, flexing the muscles in his arm that was still pinned one side of your head.
It’s as if he could read your mind as he casts his eyes downwards on you.
You so wish you could see his face.
It was too dark inside this cupboard type place he had chosen to hide you both in.
“We really mustn’t” Loki whispers to you as you look at him puzzled.
You go to say something but the hand over your mouth muffles your words.
“What?” Loki says a little too loudly as he removes his hand now.
“I said…” you hushed at him.
“I didn’t say anything” 
“What?!” He looks at you with confusion.
“Oh for fucks sake” you sigh out.
“Is that all the language you speak in?” Loki tuts at you “…profanities?” 
You glare at him.
Considering your situation right now, the fact that you’re adding a few swear words into your vocabulary surely isn’t the worse part?!
You feel his smile through the kiss he lands on your lips.
He wastes no time to match the same urgent pace he had been kissing you before.
Before you were so rudely interrupted .
The force of him causes your head to hit off the back of the door you were pinned up against.
The noise causing you both to stop for a few seconds before he nips your bottom lip lightly, giving the all clear.
He pushes his knee up to your centre, the sudden pressure there causes you to gasp into his mouth.
Your hands make their way to his hair, wrapping your fingers around a few strands you tug on them.
“Fuck” he rasps, the humming of his voice vibrating on your lips.
Grabbing one your legs under your thigh he lifts it up, you instinctively wrap it around the back of his waist.
Feeling his hardness push up against you where his knee once was, turns something inside you and you find yourself begging him for more. 
“So needy” Loki whispers now as he breaks the kiss.
You’d pout if you could see you.
He chooses this time mocking you, to undo the belt he had on, pulling down on his leathers, his cock throbbing as it strains against the fabric. 
You try to wiggle up your skirt now, it puts up a protest as it clung to the leg that was wrapped around Loki’s waist.
The god of mischief seems to sense your struggle as he drops the hold he still had on your thigh, pulls your skirt up to your waist in one quick moment and then returns his hand to place your leg back to where it was.
His move being lightning quick, you were impressed.
He kisses you once more as he frees his cock, he trails the tip over the lace of your underwear as you unconsciously Buck your hips up towards him. 
He flattens his palm on the door behind you, steadying himself as he pulls your underwear to one side, his fingers tease your folds as you can’t seem to concentrate on the kiss anymore.
Parting your lips slightly, he presses his cock up to your entrance.
Stalling for a moment as if he wanted to make sure you fully wanted this.
“Loki…please” you whine as he leans into you. 
Pushing inside you, his cock being swallowed almost to the base.
He quickly covers your mouth once more with his hand as you moan loudly into his palm.
He knew you would make a sound as he breathes through the urges to come right there and then.
After a few seconds he starts to rock his hips into you, pulling out almost all the way before sliding back, deep inside.
The tip of his cock hitting that sweet spot inside you over and over again.
You want to be vocal, you want to tell him just how good he was at fucking you up against this door but you hold your self back.
Imagine being caught this way.
His hand cups your ass as he quickens his pace.
Digging his fingers into your flesh, you know there will be marks left there.
He grunts as he feels your cunt pulsate around him.
You were going to make him come a lot quicker than he had wanted to.
He wants to fuck you forever he thinks to himself  as his movements start to falter.
He tries his best to hold on but the way you were gripping onto him was overwhelming.
It felt like you were made for him and him only as your bodies moulded together inside that small storage cupboard.
You were starting to see stars, you felt Loki’s pace become sloppy as your body was rocked up against that door harder and harder.
You didn’t even care if you were heard now as the sensations you were feeling were too good to even think about stopping.
“Loki….” You whisper out to him as he didn’t even realise he had dropped his hand from your mouth.
He had a hold of both sides of your hips now, holding you in place as he pushed deeper and deeper inside.
He panicked slightly when he thought you had a been a bit too loud so without thinking how you would react, he conjures up his shadows.
The irises of his eyes flashing green as you widen yours in surprise.
‘Is he using his sorcery?’ You think to yourself as you feel a hand move over your mouth once more.
Except this time it was a lot cooler in touch.
The same cool touch you feel trailing down your body, from your neck, across your chest and then down to your most sensitive area.
Your brain working over load as it tried to work out what was happening right now. 
Loki’s hands were definitely on you, gripping onto the curves of your hips as his cock still pumped in and out of you.
But these extra touches were hard to decipher.
Like someone else was in this cupboard with you but it couldn’t be possible.
You go to ask him what was happening, what was causing this weird sensation of being touched by another but your thoughts are cut off when you feel the cooler touch move over your clit.
You jerk against the door as the colder temperatures felt so good rubbing over your bundle of nerves.
Loki is in his element as he wishes he could see your face contort in pleasure.
The noises he was hearing, being muffled behind his shadows hand of course, sounded delicious.
You were losing your mind as he put more pressure on your clit as he could feel himself getting closer also.
That familiar feeling starting to knot in your stomach.
The mixture of being fucked so deeply up against that door whilst the pace Loki was moving across your clit was picking up, you weren’t going to last much longer.
You want to scream his name as you come. 
It was increasingly hard not to but you couldn’t, for one the shadow clamping over your face wasn’t letting up plus the situation of still being on the run by those TVA hunters scared you into a more quieter groan as you came around Loki’s cock.
The noises inside that small confinement is something he wants to remember forever as the gushing from you sends him over the edge, falling against the door in exhausted bliss.
You both are panting now as you come down from your highs, the cooler touches of Loki’s shadows have gone. The warmth radiating from the both of you are all you can feel now.
He leans his forehead against yours as his eyes remain closed.
He hopes he hadn’t scared you with his shadow play.
“You good?” He asks you, his voice raspy from trying to catch his breath.
“All good” you finally manage to answer him as your place your leg back on the ground, a little shakily.
“Who?…what was that” you ask him as he gently straightens your skirt from being bunched up at your waist.
He just smiles in the darkness.
“All me” he tells you as he grabs you under the chin.
He places a kiss lightly on your lips now as he feels they were swollen slightly.
“Ha” you breathe out.
You had heard stories circulating your offices of this Loki - God of mischief - having magical powers but you would have never believed those powers were to be used on you in such a way.
“Loki…” you whisper out to the dark at him.
“Mmm?” He replies, still lost in the moment.
“How are we getting out of here” you sounded worried as the cloud you were riding on starts to land back on reality.
“I do believe the coast is clearer the longer we are inside this cupboard” he answers you.
You start to chew your lip with worry as you think.
“We’d just have to bide our time better?” Loki smiles now as he can see you were concerned “I’m sure we can think of something to do whilst waiting?” 
“Only if your shadows come out to play again” you laugh, suddenly feeling safe with the god stood before you.
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deadbranch · 1 month
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If I were to write dark content, I'd tag it heavily, both in the actual tags and in the warnings section at the top of the post.
I'm not opposed to writing it, at all. I just haven't yet.
I'll have a separate tag list for dark content only, since I suspect more than half of my usual taglist/mutuals/followers prefer not to read the darker stuff.
Ideally, if you're reading this, you're over 18 and are more than capable of curating your own fandom experience. That being said, I don't plan to mislead anyone into reading content that most would find uncomfortable to read.
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madcat-world · 10 months
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Over the Other Side of the River - IrenHorrors
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elsewhereuniversity · 2 months
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before you enter the world next to ours, remember it is always november there, and your guide has teeth sharper than yours
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fog-world · 11 months
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allzelemonz · 1 year
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Keepsake: Tom Riddle X Male Reader
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Prompt: Kinktober Day 5: Mind Control/Dub/Non-Con Pronouns: None mentioned except in summary Physical Sex: AMAB Rating: E/Smut Warnings: Dubious consent, non-con vibes, mind control, drugging, Viagra potion, Tom Riddle being Voldemort in the early days, oral sex, anal sex, bottom reader, multiple orgasms, hopeful open ending, not proof read Summary: Tom Riddle met a nice boy at Hogwarts. One he couldn't let get away. He keeps him away from his work and uses him as he sees fit.
You don’t quite remember a lot from your time at Hogwarts before meeting Tom. You do remember meeting him. His rare but bright smile and his handsome features brought you in and begged you to stay. Who were you to object?
His kindness knows no bounds. Before he leaves for the day he always makes you your favorite morning drink in only the way he can. There’s something special he does that you’ve never been able to do when you make the drink. He says it’s a secret. When he’s away from home he keeps an eye on you through the mirror and there’s always one of his most trusted followers not too far away. Again, another secret. You’re a secret. Only a few of his followers know what they’re protecting. When he comes home he’s attentive as always. He ensures you’ve had something to eat and that you’ve behaved as he desires. And as the day winds down he prepares you for a sleepless night.
He makes you another drink, whatever you want before bed. He always adds that special touch that only he can. He leads you to bed after that. He sits on edge and you follow his silent commands. He draws you down on your knees, his hand remaining on your head as you unfasten his pants. You know he doesn’t like to be teased, you would never have any intention of doing so. You take his hardness in your hand, preparing him with a few soft pumps before wrapping your mouth around him.
His hand tightens into your hair, pulling it as he guides your movements. It doesn’t take much for him to move a simple blowjob into fully fucking your face. He relishes in using you. Even as he unloads down your throat he still keeps his hand harshly fixed in your hair with shrap thrusts. You swallow every drop he gives you, he would have it no other way. He keeps you there, mouth around his now soft dick for a moment, as he tugs at your hair and looks down at you. He loves this sight. You used and beneath him.
He leads you backwards, allowing your jaw to rest as his dick slides out. He pulls you up and you know to undress before laying on your back with your head resting on the pillows. He watches your every move, blinking very sparingly. He moves to your bedside table and pulls out a potion bottle. He holds it to your mouth as he does every night and watches as you swallow it.
You watch as his hand moves to your soft dick and begins to stoke it. He hates how long it takes for the potion to work, but it’s all he has. He told you long ago that you have a disorder that prevents you from getting hard on your own. There are fuzzy memories that vaguely contradict what he’s told you, but why would he lie?
He moves upwards and places his body over yours, laying almost fully on top of you. He begins to kiss you and you kiss him back, your hands moving to his hips just like you know he likes. He grinds against you as he feels you harden beneath him. There’s shuffling as his kisses get sloppy. He’s positioning himself, hard once again. He enters you without warning and his lips leave yours in time for you to let out a cry from the pain.
“Who are you, my dear?” His hand rests on the side of your face, his thumb stroking your cheek.
“Voldemort’s”
One too many times you’d answered “Tom Riddle’s” and gotten punished. You know what he wants to hear now. His hips move sharply inside of you, bringing another cry. He sets a pace, a harsh one right away. He pounds into you without mercy, moving to just the right angle above you to slam all the way in.
He grabs your chin, stalling after a particularly harsh thrust. “I should be hearing my name.”
His voice is harsh, almost a growl.
“Voldemort,” You moan in response.
He smirks and resumes his harsh pace. His name continues to fall from your mouth, your eyes now closed as you try to process the sensations of pain and pleasure. There is a sudden, tight grip on your dick and you know he’s pulled out his wand. His spellwork in bed is well-practiced and he has you cumming in less than a few minutes. With the potion’s help you remain hard and Tom makes you cum over and over again with his magic and the harsh fucking. After your dick is finally spent he angles your hips up so he can further fuck into you and he cums within the minute. He fills you and leaves himself inside for a moment before muttering a spell with a wave of his wand, then he pulls himself out and not a drop of his cum leaves you. He usually plugs you up, he just likes to have part of him inside of you as much as possible.
When he sits back on his knees and releases your hips you fall back onto the bed and take heavy breaths. Tom watches you as he always does. His hand lightly stroking your thigh and watching your chest rise and fall. You hear him mutter something again before you fall asleep.
Most mornings he wakes you up and makes you your drink, but today he’s gone. When you wander into the kitchen there is a note by your favorite cup. He must have had something important come up. There is something in the back of your mind that tells you not to drink it as you always do. It’s so strong that you dump the liquid down the sink before you head off to the shower.
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unfoldingmysteries · 3 months
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Red Light
Megumi Fushiguro x AFAB! Reader x Sukuna/Yuuji Itadori
Premise: Threesome with Megumi and Sukuna, some fluff with Yuuji. Established relationship between Reader and ItaFushi. All parties 18 years old. READ THE WARNINGS
W/C: 6,020
A/N: I had no idea I had this in me, but I’m actually pretty proud of this one. Although the end is a little sloppy. Please read the warnings! This isn’t sunshine and roses…
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WARNINGS/CONTAINS: Mature Language, Overstim, split play, MxM, MxF, MxFxM, degradation, possessiveness, oral (male and female receiving), violence (a smidgen), being man-handled, choking (actually and breath play), cream pie, vaginal penetration (unprotected), throat fucking, Safe Words, pet names: slut, pretty girl, whore, brat, bitch [Sukuna is, well Sukuna...]
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You had just come back from a mission, and the next thing you knew: You’re all stumbling through Yuuji’s door. Hands all over each other, eager for the night's activities to start. Shoes getting kicked off near the door. The anticipation for graduation when you move-in to your shared apartment in a few weeks is getting the better of you all. 
Your lips are interlocked with Yuuji’s. Warm and soft against your own. One hand is cupping your cheek, gently but fervently pulling you closer.  While his other is firmly on your lower back, pressing your body against his. Arm draped over his, your hand on his shoulder hoping for some stability as you stagger backwards. Heat radiating into you from where his hands are settled. 
You’re tilting your head further into Yuuji, giving Megumi more room against your neck. The top buttons of your uniform have long been undone. There’s a hand on your thigh that must belong to Megumi. Slowly trailing higher under the hem of your skirt. He’s leaving light marks along your neck. Nibbling, biting, sucking and licking all along your pulse point and shoulder. Eliciting moans from you into Yuuji’s mouth. 
Megumi bites down on your weak spot at the same instant Yuuji’s tongue flicks across your lower lip. You can't help the noise that escapes you. Filled with desire and need. Fueled by the throb between your legs. Your hand moves up into pink hair, gripping Yuuji impossibly closer to you. The other falls to Megumi’s arm, loosely holding him as his fingers grip into your thigh. 
Vaguely aware that you’re slowly migrating toward the bed, maybe halfway through the room if you had to guess. When there’s sudden pressure against the back of your knees forcing them to buckle. You lose balance and fall back against the cool softness of the sheets. A stark contrast to the heat radiating between your bodies milliseconds prior. Now sitting on the edge of the bed, chuckling over your clumsiness, you lean back on your hands. Breathless with rosy cheeks, admiring the two men before you. 
You still wonder how you got so lucky. Both of them standing over you with lust blown features, eyeing their prey. An unspoken dance of who strikes first. As Megumi’s finger twitches, about to step forward, Yuuji sighs rolling his eyes. 
“Sukuna wants out.” Your eyes open wide and meet his brown ones. You’ve interacted enough with Sukuna for this to be normal. But with Megumi present?  That’s entering new territory. Eyes follow over to Megumi, checking for a reaction. 
“I mean… are you ok with that?” You can see the fear in his eyes, no matter how he tries to hide it. All of his interactions with Sukuna have never really been the best, so you can understand his hesitation. 
“He’s harmless, mostly… I promise. I have a pact with him that he’s only allowed out for sexual activities…” voice trailing off and gaze falls to stare at the floor. Suddenly embarrassed about confessing that fact to someone other than Yuuji. Someone who is fully aware of that arrangement as he had to be included in making it. 
Feeling the heat rise in your cheeks, you look back to Yuuji for his confirmation. Only to see the markings of Sukuna already appearing across his features. 
“Contrary to what you may think… I’d never hurt you.” Sukuna runs the side of his index finger down Megumi’s cheek. Rolling his eyes at the curse’s words. Visibly uncomfortable as a shiver runs through his body at the touch. 
“New approach. Sukuna, you can either have me first, so we can have Yuuji back,” you pause, debating how to please Sukuna. He looks bored, unhappy with that option, “Or… You focus on me, I focus on Megumi. You don’t touch him. Everyone gets pleasure, everyone is happy!” Your enthusiasm is forced, gulping as you await a reaction. There’s still a silence, tension palpable as Sukuna folds his arms and tilts his head. Both of the men unsure how to respond to the situation. 
You look to Megumi and reach out your hand. Hoping to ground him in this foreign situation. He gladly takes your hand in his and you can feel his nerves. Clammy palm. The slight shake in his demeanor. 
“Pretty girl, I’m here to play with both of you,” followed by his signature grin. You share a glance with Megumi. Neither of you knowing Sukuna’s true intentions anymore. 
You squeeze Megumi’s hand knowing you’re the only one who can talk Sukuna down in this situation. “Hey. I don’t know what kind of ideas you have going, but you cannot throw Megumi around like you do with me. Got it?” Your voice is firm.  
Sukuna rolls his eyes, ”Why do you always have to ruin everything.” 
“Agree, Sukuna.” Enunciating each word. Your voice commanding to the King of Curses. With Megumi’s well-being on the line, all your fear goes out the window. “Megumi is new to this situation and is free to leave anytime he pleases, understood?”
“So bratty today…” he pauses to eye you up and down, “Fine.” It’s curt and your body feels like fire under his gaze. You look to Megumi who has slowly been tightening his grip on your hand. Bringing your other hand up to cradle his hand between yours. You can tell Megumi is still hesitant, no longer able to tell if the sweat between you is his or yours. “Are you okay with this? He’s not allowed to hurt anyone in the pact I have with him.”
He looks to Sukuna, who is clearly fired up and ready to go, just waiting for the all clear. Blue-green eyes looking back at you, “I- I guess…” Before he can fully finish his thought, Sukuna is wrapping his arm around Megumi’s shoulders, “Ohh-hoh… we’ll have fun!” 
Releasing your hands to place his on Sukuna’s chest, Megumi tries to push him away. Simultaneously turning his head the other direction, but straight into Sukuna’s awaiting mouth hand. Capturing him in a heated kiss. The corners of Sukuna’s mouth rise as Megumi struggles against him. Tongue running along his teeth as he watches. Noises and whimpers of rejection coming from Megumi only seemed to fuel Sukuna’s desire. Eyes forced shut with the effort to retreat as he struggled against the other man. 
You’re on your feet instantly, hands on Megumi’s midsection gently gripping his shirt. Megumi’s eyes fly open at your touch. Gaze meeting yours, fear covering his face. He wasn’t fully sold on the idea to begin with, so the lust hadn’t crept back into his eyes yet. And Sukuna has a way of doing things that doesn’t fit everyone. 
“Let him breathe! You’re covering his nose!” Sukuna pulls his hand away, saliva connecting the two. A thick strand that doesn’t disconnect immediately. Giving you a good indication of how aggressive that kiss actually was. Cunt clenching around nothing at the sight. Sukuna fully releases him, backing away. Your hands go to cup Megumi’s cheeks. As gently as possible considering what Sukuna just did. Slowly rubbing your thumb across his cheek in comfort. 
He’s still panting, catching his breath as he swallows. Labored breaths echoing in your ears as his hands slowly find themselves on your waist. “Seriously you don’t have to stay,” worry for him flooding your actions. “And leave you with him?” His grip on you tightening with the last word. There’s an irritation covered up by concern in his tone. “He’s nothing I can’t handle, I promise.” 
You hope your love for Megumi can be seen on your face. How you’re looking up at him. Brows furrowed with concern and nothing but adoration in your pupils. Your thumb barely glides across his cheek. 
You lean in to kiss him and right before your lips meet you’re being tugged back by the hips. A shocked noise escaping you. Sukuna had made his way behind you to sit on the edge of the bed. Discarding his shirt along the way. Pulling you down to sit on his lap. Ass flush with his bulge as he settles you between his legs. You couldn’t help but let out a surprised moan at the feeling as he grinds his hips upward. Sukuna’s grip on your hips is a harsh one, but still welcome. Encouraging the slick to gather between your folds. Your gaze falling to the floor, hands on your knees as you try to maintain composure. Blush rising in your cheeks as you’re instantly turned to putty in Sukuna’s grasp. 
“Pay attention to me, you little slut.” His hold on you will definitely be bruising. Megumi’s face flushes with anger as your walls flutter. His eyebrows creased together, raising his voice, “Why you-!” Megumi takes an angry step forward reaching for the collar of Sukuna’s shirt. 
You intercept his hand, pulling it close to your chest, and look up at him through your lashes. Your breaths are already shallow yet deep as your heart races. “Megumi, please,” voice sounding much needier than intended. It takes him a moment to look at you from glaring at Sukuna. Anger softens when he sees your reaction. You’re not mad. Actually turned on by the whole situation, as indicated by the flush on your cheeks. He can see it in your eyes. 
You drag Megumi down to your level and place a hand on his cheek. Bringing his lips to crash into yours, finally. They’re slightly chapped, but warm and inviting against your own. Sukuna’s hands coming forward to caress your thighs as your hips grind into his member. “Please… enjoy yourself…” you pant between kisses, hoping that Megumi can relax. Your voice already sultry and filled with desire. Megumi’s tongue runs along your lower lip asking for access. Spreading your lips for him, when you feel Sukuna’s hands forcing your legs apart. Eliciting a moan onto Megumi’s tongue. 
Kneading at the flesh of your inner thighs. Your legs caged in by Sukuna’s. His hand mouth leaves teasing licks and nibbles. Trailing up under your skirt as it slowly rides up to sit around your waist. 
Sukuna slowly raises and shifts your legs to sit outside of his own. All the while your tongue battles with Megumi’s for dominance. Being able to further grind on Sukuna in a better position due to him now positioned between your legs. You couldn’t help the noises escaping into Megumi’s mouth. The warmth of Sukuna’s length against your slit only fueling the rising pleasure in your core. 
Megumi’s hands are working at the buttons of your uniform as yours fumble with his belt. Your noises sinful as you feel the pad of Sukuna’s finger trail along the lace of your panties. Feeling the slick that’s already soaked through. Pulling away to catch your breath. Saliva connects you, not quite pulling far enough away for it to snap.  All the buttons of your blouse finally undone. 
“Now Megumi,” Sukuna finally pipes up from behind you. Earning an eye roll from the dark haired man. “You’ll do as I say.” Megumi fires daggers toward the King of Curses with his eyes. Then dives back into your lips as you palm him through his boxers. 
“I’ll need to punish you brats later… For now,” Sukuna grabs Megumi by the neck, forcing him off of you. “Get me out of these damn pants.” As Sukuna releases Megumi, he takes a step back. Sukuna hooks his hands under your knees and stands up to allow Megumi access to remove Yuuji’s uniform bottoms. 
“Fuck…” you’re moaning and falling limp against Sukuna at the stretch. All of your weight falling into your hips. You’re grabbing at his arms to feel some sort of stability. Meanwhile, Megumi slowly steps forward and reaches between your legs. You faintly register the sound of a button and zipper coming undone. The friction of Megumi’s forearms against your cunt too much of a distraction. Pushing down the hem of his pants at the hips, Megumi slowly falls to his knees. The clothes and Megumi finding home on the floor. Sukuna’s cock springs to life. Bouncing up and slapping your clothed pussy once released from its confines. Whimpering at the contact. 
“Really tattoos there, too?” The statement goes ignored. Once Yuuji’s pants and underwear are around his ankles, Sukuna sits back down on the end of the bed. Nothing but your panties keeping his cock away for your weeping hole. The release on your hips only makes you more aware of the presence between your legs. 
“Get me inside her,” he growls as he tears off your panties. “Sukunaaa~” you whine in response. He slaps your thigh enough to leave a mark, “nnnn… I liked those…” You’re already blissed out and you haven’t even cum yet. Your head nodding forward and falling back against his shoulder. 
Megumi settles on his knees and tentatively wraps his fingers around Sukuna’s dick. Pumping him once to get a feel for his reaction. “Ok slut, I think you have to move now to sink down on me…” You’re reaching your toes out to find the ground below you. You find enough purchase to lift yourself up. Megumi starts gliding Sukuna’s tip between your folds. Weakly muffling your noises every time he passes your clit. Gathering slick and pre for enough lubrication. “I fucking knew you’d be wet enough already, such a whore for me.” You groan at his deep voice echoing in your ear. 
Megumi hooks his tip against your entrance. An indicator for you to drop down. You don’t understand it but somehow Sukuna’s member is girthier than Yuuji’s. It’s the same body? How are they so different? You’ve never understood. Sinking down on him has always felt like you’re about to split open. “Mmmm fuck… so big,” Sukuna has a way of immediately turning you into a babbling mess. The stretch is so good. Too good. The perfect combination of pain and pleasure.   
“Now… eat her pussy like there’s no tomorrow,” already moaning at his words alone. They’re instructions for Megumi but he’s murmuring them into the shell of your ear. You haven’t even fully lowered onto Sukuna, and Megumi is already kissing up your thighs as he wiggles himself closer to you. Sukuna opens his legs to allow Megumi the space to get closer. Your legs hooked on the outside of Sukuna’s, spreading you wide open for Megumi to access. You whimper at the stretch in your hips. 
At his first kitten lick through your folds you’re overwhelmed. Stability wavering as you involuntarily crash down on Sukuna. Taking him all at once the noise leaving you was inhuman. Walls fluttering and squeezing to accommodate his length. He fills you better than anyone ever has, hitting all the right spots just by being there. You haven’t even recovered from the intrusion of Sukuna as Megumi gently sucks your clit. “Fuck!” you’re leaning forward and reaching down to grab his hair. Harsher than you usually would, but you can’t think straight. 
“Ah ah,” Sukuna reprimands, hand trails up your thigh, over your stomach, and up your sternum to wrap around your throat. “That’s my dick.. you pay attention to me.” He’s pulling you back against his chest as he squeezes your neck. You can feel his voice against your back as it reverberates through his chest. You remove your hand from dark hair and grab Sukuna’s thigh instead.
“Remember your safe word?” Sukuna coos into your ear as Megumi flattens his tongue in your slit. “Fuuuck~” A harsh slap to your inner thigh. The safe word was the only enforcer of “no harm” in the pact, so Sukuna was always sure to go over it every time. 
“That’s not it… Now, what’s your safe word?” Megumi goes to kiss the red spot forming on your thigh. “Yellow light, then red light,” you pant. “Wow, you do know it. Now you?” Megumi looks up at the man behind you from between your legs, tongue returning to your heat. “Pick a safe word.” Megumi pulls away, wiping the side of his mouth with his thumb, “I- I’ll use the same one.” 
“Say it.”
“Yellow light, Red light.” Sukuna hums. Seemingly in approval of Megumi’s cooperation so far. Switching his focus back to you, licking from your shoulder all the way behind your ear. Sending a shiver up your spine as Megumi trails his way back up your thigh with kisses. 
Sukuna continues to put pressure on either side of your esophagus, blocking your airway. Allowing the smallest of air to get through to keep you conscious. All while biting and marking your neck. You can feel his teeth sink into your skin. You flinch, but the pleasure between your legs is a pleasant distraction. A dribble of something rolls down your shoulder. Honestly unsure if it’s his saliva or your blood from broken skin. 
Megumi's arms are wrapped around both sets of thighs in front of him, gripping yours. The pull on your skin from his fingers only adds to the pleasure. His tongue alternates between flicking across your nub and flattening through your folds. Trying to grind your hips back and forth on Sukuna as your cunt finally adjusts to being filled. 
You’re quite literally on the verge of passing out. Head feeling light and heavy simultaneously. You want to moan, you want to scream and cry out at the pleasure but all your throat can comprehend is getting you the tiny amount of oxygen that it has access to. Megumi finally notices that the noises you’re making are not ones he's familiar with. Pulling away to check on you…
This action allows Sukuna to have full reign of you. He leans back on his free hand, pulling you back with him. Giving him a third point of stability his hips lift off the mattress. Fucking up into you, forcefully bouncing you on his lap as his muscular thighs contract and relax. 
Sukuna finally releases your throat, immediately coughing at the access to air. However, it's short lived as he shoves two fingers down your throat. Mouth falling open in his grip. Moaning around his fingers as you breathe through your nose. 
“You finally gonna cum for me? Fucking slut.” You nod your head as much as you can through the hold he has on your face. Sukuna places his fingers wet from your saliva on your slit. Lowering down to tease your entrance as his hand mouth assaults your clit. Immediately send you over the edge.
“F-Fuck! Sukuna!” He doesn't stop pistoling into you until he knows there's a ring of your white around his base and you're a whimpering mess. Sukuna rolls you off of him onto the bed. You fall limp. Hair strewn across your face, the relief on your hips making you more aware of the stretch they went though. Megumi is immediately cupping your cheek with one hand, the other on your hip. You look up at him. Completely fucked out already. Red marks around your neck. As soon as he opens his mouth to speak, Sukuna is pulling him back by the arm. You feel his hand ripped from your hip. 
“I know you’re good at giving head, I've watched you through Yuuji, indulge me. I want to experience it myself.” Defiantly he pulls his arm away from Sukuna. “Y/n, are you ok?” All you can think to do is nod. 
“This is only the beginning for her, she'll be fine.” Megumi side-eyes Sukuna. He leaves a kiss to your cheek after tucking your hair behind your ear. Apprehensive, but slowly returning to his knees in front of the pink haired man.  
“Go on…” Sukuna encourages Megumi, although there's a sharpness to his words. You feel like passing out, but you shift slightly so that you can watch. 
Megumi slowly settles himself between Sukunas legs, looking up at the expectant man. Megumi trails his hand up one of Sukuna’s thighs. Tentatively cupping his balls. Sticking out his tongue and laying it flat against the tip. Giving his balls a gentle squeeze, then ultimately laying his palm against his lower abdomen. Thumb hooked around Sukuna’s base to stabilize it. Megumi licks up his length. Slow. Hesitant. Taking him into his mouth as his tongue swirls and cheeks hollow. You can tell with the way Megumi’s tongue moves behind his cheeks. A sight you have been lucky enough to see only a handful of times. You can only imagine the taste of yourself on his dick.
Megumi pulls away. You can practically see the gears turning in his head about how to proceed with the tattooed man. Realizing that he may not like it the way Yuuji does. Nonetheless, he continues. 
Running his tongue along the veins. Tracing them delicately. Outlining his tip and slit with utmost care. Sucking his heavy balls lightly. He goes back to focus on the tip, slowly lowering himself with every motion of his tongue. Flattening it out and forcing himself all the way down for the first time has the King of Curses groaning. Something you were rarely privy to hear. 
Megumi pulls back. Saliva drips down Sukuna’s swollen member as Megumi takes a deep breath. Lowering himself on Sukuna once again. 
The salmon-haired man grabs the back of Megumi’s head, forcing him to stay down. Nose shoved against his pelvic bone. “Fuck, your throat actually feels so good.” You can see Megumi fighting back, trying to get air. Tears gathering along his waterline from the intrusion. Body convulsing with his gag reflex. Sukuna releases him briefly, keeping his hand wrapped in raven hair. Allowing Megumi to get air. Thick spit connecting them as he coughs. The fire in your own core reigniting at the sight. 
Going back to lick his tongue around Sukuna’s tip. Suddenly Sukuna tightens his hold in Megumi’s hair again, forcing himself down Megumi’s throat and standing up. Megumi has to adjust himself to be the correct height. Eyes filled with tears as Sukuna starts bucking his hips. Clearly chasing his own high with no regard for the other man. 
Megumi is tapping his thighs, trying to back away. Practically shaking like a rag doll as Sukuna’s hips don’t stop. Megumi’s arms try to push his tattooed form away, “Sukuna stop!” You're stumbling off the bed trying to spring into action. “Sukuna!” 
You try to push them apart, but Sukuna is stronger than the both of you. You're using your whole body weight to push him far enough away to break the connection between them. You practically had to tackle Megumi to the floor to push him far enough away that Sukuna releases his grasp.
“You bitch.” 
“I told you, you couldn’t be rough with him, he-” The way his dick is twitching, you know he was close. Sukuna raises his hand to hit you. You flinch back, “He can’t use the safe word if he can’t speak.” You’re in Megumi's lap. His arm around your waist as you both sit on the floor. His other hand covers his mouth as he coughs and pants. Trying to catch his breath and voice. Sukuna slowly lowers his hand. Your arms latched around Megumi’s neck as much as you can as your side is along his chest. Tears brimming in both your eyes, you slowly look up when you realize the pain isn't coming. 
“Look at you… such the protector… How does it feel? To be saved by a woman?” Anger falls across Megumi's features again and he grips you tighter to himself. “Seriously Sukuna…. You can’t stay if you’re going to treat him like this.” 
Sukuna stalks forward and takes your chin between his fingers. His grip harsh, “What I say goes. You know that.” “That’s with my pact, not with Megumi,” your voice is shaky. You usually don’t talk back this much, but your concern for Megumi is pushing through. 
He pulls your bottom lip down with his nail. Sharp and stabbing into your lip, you’re sure he’s broken skin. His hand slides down to wrap around your neck. 
He pulls you up, forcing you to stand. Your toes barely touching the floor and he brings your face closer to his. “I’m already unhappy with you fighting back today, brat. If you do that again you’re in for it.” He seems satisfied when fear flashes across your eyes. The tears threatening to fall. Head light from lack of air. He throws you to the side. You crumble to the ground crashing into Yuuji’s nightstand. Megumi is horrified watching this unfold in front of him. “Now you…” You can hear the shuffle on the floor as Megumi starts scooting farther away from Sukuna, “Unless you want me to force you to take it somewhere else, you’re gonna finish the job.”
“You force my head down again, that’s red light.” His voice is hoarse and filled with threats. Finally finding its strength as he slowly shifts back onto his knees. Sukuna holds up his hands, feigning innocence. “You’re lucky I’m still here,” words filled with spite. 
You’re sore, finally adjusting yourself to sit leaning against the nightstand. Hopefully the wall isn't dented, although your arm will bruise. Checking the damage by running your fingers along the quickly forming red spot. You look up to meet Megumi’s concerned gaze. 
Sukuna cocks his eyebrow, “The shit you'll put up with for her. I’m intrigued.” At the curse’s words, Megumi rolls his eyes and looks up to the man now standing before him. 
“I care for her, something you might never understand.” Megumi spits back at the other man without hesitation. Sukuna bends at the waist to bring his face mere inches from Megumi’s. Pinching his chin between his index and thumb, “I care for her in ways you can only imagine.” Megumi’s eyelids narrow to slits. Suddenly, Sukuna licks up Megumi’s cheek. Following the trail of one of his tears, ending at the outer corner of his eye. Megumi closes the eye and flinches away. Releasing Megumi and resuming his standing height, “C’mon brat, I won't wait all day.”
Megumi inches a smidgen closer, reaching up to pump Sukuna’s angry cock once again. Megumi clears his throat and swallows, preparing himself as much as he can. Swollen lips wrap around the pink tip. Tongue flicking back and forth collecting pre-cum. Hand slowly pumping the thick length that remains. If you were any more cognitive you would have seen the King of Curses roll his eyes back in pleasure. Almost turning to putty at Megumi’s touch. 
You want to treat Megumi. He hasn't had any attention so far, but your brain and body are not communicating properly. You've never actually been scared of Sukuna in one of these situations. The thought sends a chill straight to your core. Afraid of reprimand if you pay attention to Megumi. But the desire to please your boyfriend is fighting to overcome that fear. Worst case scenario, Sukuna breaks your pact. Would it really be that bad? You can't get your body to move forward. The two men in front of you unaware of the mental conflict happening within you.
When you get your focus back on the scene in front of you, Megumi is back to deep-throating Sukuna. One hand cupping heavy balls as the other grips around his thigh. Providing stability as Megumi glides back and forth. You swear you can see Sukuna’s dick in Megumi’s throat. You’ve never understood how Megumi was blessed with that ability. If Sukuna had been patient, he would have cum much sooner. 
“Oh… Fuck..” Your eyes shoot up to the face of the man moaning. Pure bliss taking over his typically stern face. You never realized how calm Sukuna could look. 
Megumi pulls away, wiping his mouth and chin with the back of his hand. Sukuna drops to his knees, gripping either side of Megumi’s face. Your head immediately clears, ready to play savior again if need be. Sukuna shoves his tongue down Megumi’s throat. Cunt throbbing at the sight. Megumi tries to fight it at first, then leans into it. Blush on his face deepening as he finally relaxes. Finally letting the pink haired man take control. You swear Sukuna is blushing, too. 
Sukuna pulls away, saliva tethering their mouths together. Megumi’s face showing signs of bliss and lust. “Maybe you've earned her pussy.” Sukuna’s deep voice eliciting small moans from both you and Megumi. 
Before releasing Megumi, Sukuna is turning to you, “On the bed. All fours. Now.” You waste no time in following the commands given to you. The desire to be good for Sukuna makes your entrance more slick. Shedding your remaining clothing before Sukuna rips them off as well. The soft fluctuations of the mattress beneath you a welcome change from the hard floor. Once in position you turn your head to see the men’s tongues fighting once again. Sukuna’s hands are still present on Megumi’s cheeks. 
“Get on your knees behind her,” pulling away Sukuna playfully shoves Megumi to the side as he stands up. 
It takes Megumi a moment longer to get off the floor and remove any remaining clothing. During that time, Sukuna runs his claws along your spine. Starting at the scruff of your neck, trailing down. Delicate but sharp. A shiver follows the red lines as they form, causing your back to arch at the touch. You're letting out small noises at the touch. There's a lack of his touch, then SMACK. You yelp at the contact of his palm with your ass. No doubt a red mark is forming already with the sting.  
The bed dips as Megumi settles himself behind you. Megumi starts rubbing his tip through your folds. While Sukuna trails his nails back up your spine. Pressing harder into your skin as he situates himself in front of you. You adjust yourself on the mattress as it shifts under their weight. As much as you can find purchase when Megumi is dragging your attention back to the presence through your folds.
Sukuna pulls your face up to him, palm along your throat with his fingers on your cheeks. Forcing a deep arch in your back as you still try to present yourself for Megumi. Sukuna immediately pressed his tongue through your lips. Exploring your mouth as if it's never been there before. 
You feel a pressure at your entrance as Megumi starts sheathing himself in you. Evoking moans from deep within you. Unable to fully vocalize as your breath is stolen by Sukuna. Whimpering into Sukuna’s mouth as Megumi hits your cervix. 
Sukuna pulls back and forces your head down to his dick. You get the message immediately, reaching up to angle his heavy tip toward your mouth. Teasing his tip briefly as Megumi leisurely pulls his hips back. Brain unsure which action to focus on. Forcefully, Megumi and Sukuna thrust into you at the same time. Throat and cunt constricting around the intrusions.
Megumi once again lets Sukuna take the lead as he settles his hands on your hips. Sukuna picking a steady pace to throat fuck you. Giving you enough seconds to breathe in time with his thrusts. With every push back of Sukuna into your mouth your walls squeezing Megumi in impossibly more as you fall deeper on Megumi’s dick. 
Sukuna leans forward, one hand pressing on the small of your back. Ensuring the arch in your back doesn't think about taking a break. Other hand reaching around to grab your breast. Hand mouth returning to lick and nibble across your nipple. You can't make much noise but your vocal chords are trying. 
You can’t see what’s happening above you, but you hear Sukuna’s booming sultry voice above you, “Fuck her harder. Punish her for talking back to me.” 
You can tell Megumi is hesitant. A moment of thought and he tightens his grip. One hand leaving your hip as he spanks you as hard as he can. Inciting a moan from you around Sukuna’s girth. Not used to the action, it's nowhere near Sukuna’s bruising power, but a good place to start. Shortly after, Megumi picks up the pace. 
You're completely blissed out. Enjoying the feeling of being full to the brim. The rough pace threatens to bring you close. Trouble breathing as your body wants to pant. 
Something feral takes over in Megumi. The next thing you know Megumi pulls you off Sukuna’s dick and flips you over onto your back. His tip never once leaves you. Drool covering your face as you gasp for air. He folds your knees up into a mating press. “Fuck Megumi… what-ah!” He’s never been this straight up brutal with you. The pounding of his cock into you almost painful. Enough to have you seeing stars and babbling nonsense. His face is contorted, eyebrows furrowed, eyes clamped shut. Clearly only focused on chasing his own high. 
He hooks your legs over his upper arms as he bends down to be closer to your face. “You’re mine, got that?” You nod. Unable to think with how rough he’s being. Waterline already wet from Sukuna occupying your throat, but the tears threaten to fall. 
“Open.”
You tentatively open your mouth. Not knowing what else Megumi could be talking about. You can see his jaw working as he collects the saliva in his mouth. Ultimately splitting into your mouth. Eyes widening at the action. 
“Swallow.” 
You let out a whine in response. His eyes are filled with lust as he watches you, but darkness takes over them. You swallow and lick your lips. “Every part of you is mine. Got. That?” Hammering each of the last words into you in time with his thrusts. Not once had he slowed is pace or lightened the deepness of his thrusts. Your tits bouncing with every slap of your hips together. One hand goes down to rub your clit as he sits back slightly. Sending your head back reeling. That extra stimulation was all you needed. Right as you fall over the edge again he’s cumming inside you. Thick white ropes easing you out of your high.
Megumi refuses to pull out. Not giving Sukuna another chance to have you. His hold on you keeping your thighs against his torso. Sukuna takes Megumi by the face. You hadn't even realized when Sukuna backed off to the side of the bed. Squeezing at Megumi’s jaw until his mouth falls open. Megumi was resisting it hard, but eventually gave in. “Remember…” Sukuna spits into Megumi's mouth, “You’re both mine.”
You’re lazily reaching up to pump Sukuna’s hard cock. Eyes closed as you're still recovering. He won’t give in until he’s been satisfied multiple times over. You know that from experience, and the fact that he’s still hard… he’s not done yet. Even though you and Megumi are pretty much tapped out. 
“Dude fuck…” The voice sounds different as you feel something splash across your abdomen and leak down your arm. “Are you- ah,” the voice cut off by his pleasure. Opening your eyes to see Sukuna’s tightened grip on Megumi's face is released. Immediately replaced by both Yuuji’s hands gently caressing his cheeks. He wasn’t exactly prepared to be switched back mid-hand job. “Sorry Y/n, ah… Fushi, are you ok?” 
“I -I’m ok…” Megumi reaches up and places his hand on top of Yuuji’s, leaning into the gentle touch. 
“Sometimes I can see what’s going on when he takes over. Usually it’s like I’m going to sleep, but he purposefully blocked me out this time. He did the same the first time with Y/n, too. When I came back I thought he had hurt her.” Yuuji explains, nothing but concern laced in his voice.
“Yea, I’m sorry you got sucked into that ‘Gumi. You sure you’re ok?” You were gently caressing his thigh now. His dick slowly going limp inside you.
“Yea…” he sighed, clearly happy to have his loving partners back. Eyes returning to you, “You really like that?”
“Right? She’s wild!” Yuuji pipes up, giving your thigh a small slap. 
You blush, looking away, and giggle, “It’s nice every once in a while… Why didn’t you leave?”
“It wasn’t… bad…” you look up to Megumi and see him look away. Hiding the blush on his cheeks. “I just couldn’t leave you with him, and well… I got curious…”
Yuuji leaves a kiss on the top of Megumi’s head, “I’m glad you're okay. You're both okay.”
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isaiku · 1 year
Text
anika. i don’t wanna see you with anyone but me / nobody gets me sza.
fem!reader / warnings n notes! no scream vi spoilers + not a part of the plotline.
— angst to fluff, arguments, jealousy, alcohol, vomiting, ooc anika. lmk if i missed anything please!
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a scowl paints over your features, the party only just started. as you sit next to anika who’s in between you and mindy. the pair giggling together as you try to distract yourself with your phone, looking away from the two to try and distract yourself.
“hey,” anika starts, “you okay? you’ve been on your phone since we arrived,” she asks, you look at her shrugging, “i’m fine, babe. you asked me to go with you, but you seem pretty comfortable yourself here.” you mumble, the air tense around you two.
mindy glances at the two of you — noticing there’s something going on, she quickly mumbles an excuse before leaving her spot. anika waits until she’s out of sight before looking at you once again, no expression on her face but you could tell what went through her mind by just looking at her eyes. she’s mad at you is she?
your face drops at the thought, removing your eyes from hers and looking straight ahead. leaning back on the couch as you bit inside your cheek, breath slightly shaking, fidgeting with your fingers.
her eyes stay in you for a while — as if she’s trying to read your body language. she sighs while smiling softly, “what’s bothering you now.” she asks. you shake your head, her body facing you, her arm leans against the couch, brows furrowed together. you don’t reply, only glancing at her before looking away once again, “nothing.” you breathe out.
“y/n, i brought you with me because i thought we were gonna have fun together,” she says, “why don’t you have fun with mindy then, like you two have been for the past couple of days?” you reply as put your phone away.
“are you seriously jealous right now?” she asks, confused. “there’s nothing going on between us, you know that. i thought we went through this already.” you stay silent, still staring at her.
“it’s just, you sometimes just act like i’m not there when you’re with her or something, look i’m not asking for a—“
“can— can we just deal with this later? i just want to this party to go smoothly and not having to stress about anything, please?” she interrupts you, grabbing your shaking hands.
you glance at your hands, pursing your lips together as you want to say more but you didn’t want to stress her even more. “i just think it’s better if we deal it and solve it now and quick, the party just started, ani’. you’re the one who says that communicating is important.” you plead but she only shakes her head.
“whatever, i’m not gonna deal with this right now. come find me later, or something.” she stands up, walking away and leaving you alone to god knows what, probably searching for mindy again.
fuck, you stare at her until she’s gone and out of sight, a tear slipping down, quickly wiping it away. you stand up from the couch too, walking towards to where the drinks are.
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you don’t know how long it’s been, you can’t recognise anyone around you and you can’t find your girlfriend either. you’re leaning towards the counter. you’ve lost count on how much you drank but the empty cups in front of you explain otherwise.
“hey y/n, jesus— what happened to you?” you look over to find tara next to you, chad just right behind her, both look at you in concern. “shit, you look like a mess,” chad says, who receives a small smack from tara who moves closer to you, taking the drink from your hands and putting it elsewhere, they notice the amount of empty red plastic cups next to you, chad and tara take notice of this.
tara puts an arm around your figure, taking you away from the kitchen and sitting you down to the same couch once again, chad following behind. “where’s anika?” she asks, you tense slightly and she notices, “i’ll try looking for her if you want,” chad mentions, you shake your head and a hiccup escapes your lips, “i already tried,” tara glancing at chad before looking back at you,
“did something happen?” tara asks, you shrug. “i think you should really go home y/n, look at the state you’re in. we should call anika.”
“it’s whatever, i can handle myself.” you stammer.
“i think it’s more important that she takes you home and takes care of you,” she says, you open your mouth to say something.
and that’s when you feel something bubbling up your chest.
by your expression tara and chad react quickly. placing your arms around their shoulders to support you, taking you towards the bathroom.
you gag, trying to hold everything in before they place you down and you kneel in front of the toilet before you puke everything up, tara tries to move all the hair that’s in the way from your face. chad grimaces before quickly making his way out to get anika,
“where’s she— fuck.” you hear footsteps rushing behind you, anika walks in and finds you and tara, she sighs in relief. you calmed down but you feel it bubbling inside you again a few times, “you should’ve seen the amount of cups she had with her,” you head chad.
“thank god you were there for her, i’ll take care of her now.” she thanks tara and chad who nods before walking out and closing the door, you continue to puke up before flushing the toilet completely and attempt to wipe your lips with your sleeve, anika stops you — grabbing a tissue and wiping it off herself.
you lean your body against the toilet, “how stupid are you?” she jokes, “i leave for a few minutes and then chad runs to me all panicked,” she grabs a water bottle that she had with her, taking the cap off before handing it to you, you take sips from it before giving it back and she places it aside.
she turns you around and brings your messy hair up in to a ponytail, using the hair-tie from her wrist to hold it all up. you lean back against the wall, silence fills the room between you two, other than the beats from the room outside.
“are you still angry at me?” you mumble out, her expression softens. she takes a hold of you hand, intertwining your fingers together.
“of course not,” she sighs out, “i feel bad.” she continues, “like really bad. i shouldn’t have stressed you out and saying to deal with out problems later, and then leaving you right after in a room full of strangers.” she sits next to you, heads leaning against each other.
she looks at you, bringing out a chapstick. “look at me real quick,” she says and you face her, she grabs your chin with her fingers gently and applies it on your chapped lips that dried after the incident, you smile at her.
she smiles back, pecking your shiny lips and you gag — “kissing me right after i puke?” she giggles, her expression falters. “i’m really sorry, baby. i shouldn’t have left you there,” she whispers, you shake your head, “it’s fine.” you say. you stare at each other for a while, breathing steady as you two feel comfortable at each other’s presence,
—are you still jealous of mindy?” she raises her eyebrows in a teasing way, you scoff at her, pushing her away and getting up from your spot. walking out of the room as she chases behind you, the two of you smiling at each other.
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340 notes · View notes
dduane · 1 year
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How do you come up with ideas? Like where do you go for inspiration for things given how annoying writers block can be?
I'd want to separate these out a bit, since they don't seem to me to be the same issue.
First (and simplest): I kinda hate using the term "writers' block", as it tends to mean too many different things to too many people, and it's too easy to be misunderstood. The term gets used for everything from being unable to start writing, to being unable to keep writing, to being unable to finish writing.
When I use it (and of course your mileage may vary), it means "hitting some spot in the writing—usually in the middle, hardly ever in any of the other places—from which you're having trouble moving forward."
After many years' practice, this usually means that I've run into a place in the narrative where the primary character involved in that section has issues going on that haven't been resolved: unanswered questions, uncertainties about what's going to happen next. (And let's be clear, as one writer to another: the uncertainties are yours, not theirs. The character is waiting for you to achieve clarity. You get clear? They get clear.)
When I hit this kind of problem, I set aside time to examine all the main characters' situations and see whether everyone knows where they're headed, or at least what they're headed toward. Normally I find that some one character has questions that haven't been answered, or some necessary conversation (with another character, or fate, or God, or you) that hasn't yet happened. Or hasn't happened to their satisfaction.
I've dealt with this problem in about twenty different ways over four decades, from the cold-blooded-analysis method of taking apart previous chapters or sections of a work, looking at the final end-state chapters or sections, and figuring out what's missing... to the Sherlock-Holmes-in-his-sitting-room method of making your character sit down in the Empty Chair and tell you what their problem is. (Which is also a mode favored by psychiatric professionals the world over, these days. Believe me, I did not give an entire novel that title accidentally.)
So: as far as I can tell, "writer's block" is almost always code for "a missing transaction (or desired transaction) in the narrative that you haven't yet identified and resolved." See above. Or that transaction may be some sort of failed communication between the outer, author-to-real-world world, and the inner, character-in-created-world world. Track it down and resolve it, and everything will be good.
Meanwhile, as for inspiration and finding ideas:
This is... not one of my problems, so I'm probably the wrong person to be asking. ...Going anywhere for inspiration? Why would I do that? It hunts me down in the street. It grabs me from behind when I'm trying to deal with the email. It gets me in a hammerlock when I'm watching somebody else's TV show.
In short: gods help me, I've been a Having An Idea person since before I started to read. I'm the one who, after being read a sleepy-time fairy tale about a prince rescuing a princess, looked at her mom and said, "Why can't it be a prince rescuing a prince?" And you see where that got me: half a million words, and (as we say on AO3) These Two Idiots. (Or: "What if magic came with a user's manual?" ...Oh gods.)
At this end of time, it would be tough for me not to have an idea or three for a novel before I've had my tea.
It goes like this:
(a) Wake up. Reach for iPad.
(b) Read news. Ugh. Naughty, naughty world. (With occasional bright spots.)
(c) ...And then wonder: "How would it be if X [thing that you just read on the news] happened in Y [entirely different universe where conditions (z) pertain]?"
(d) [make up entirely different set of conditions that don't pertain in local or even non-local reality]
...The good thing about this, of course, is that I know that ideas are cheap. Ideas are nothing. They're a dime a dozen. A dime for two or three dozen. In this regard, they observe Sturgeon's Law. (Gods rest his gentle soul.)
And more to the point: ideas are easy. It's execution (especially good, deep-delved, worthwhile execution, over tens or hundreds of thousands of words) that's hard.
Which, ninety-eight times out of a hundred, leads to:
(d) Examine idea, put it in the Scales of How Hot You Are For It, watch how the Scales weigh it and find it wanting: then throw idea out, get the hell up and have some tea.
Or, in those two other cases (twice a year, maybe); when an idea comes along that pulls the Scales down and is heavier than the Feather of Your Current Intent in the other side of the Balance—something that has some weight to it, some bite, one that resists being thrown the hell out:
(d1) Get up, have tea, write a premise filling out the idea to at least a couple of pages' length... and then start working out who the hell to market it to.
...Now this is my personal modus operandi, and I've been enacting it across various media for somewhere between fifty and sixty years and change, and there's no way I'm going to stop now. But I submit to you that it might be possible to train yourself into being this kind of What If? person, by simply spending—oh, a week, even two—asking yourself "What if...?" about everything. Every single thing you see, hear, or come in contact with. Why must this thing/this situation/this world be the way it is? Why can't it be some other way? (And then you start reasoning it out. What other way?...)
Frankly, there's no reason this shouldn't work. In fact, considering the ridiculous malleability of the human mind (and I speak with my psychiatric-nurse hat on, here) it's very likely it would work.
There's only one problem with this concept. I have no idea what to tell you if it works and you then decide you want to turn it off.
Because once you've started training your brain into this mode of questioning everything, looking under all the rocks of so-called Reality for the previously impossible impossibilities... there's no guarantee you'll ever be able to make it stop.
It's heaven for me, no mistake. But for you?
Be careful what you ask for. You might get it.
Anyway: hope this helps! :)
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hanjibug · 1 year
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hi, i'm maesie jo :3
warning! this blog contains sfw and nsfw (mature/adult) topics, content and writing. i like jisung's teeth a weird amount.
maesie, 19 yrs, #1 hanner of all time
♥ links! : about | masterlist | guidelines/limits | wips
♥ tags! : away/scheduled: #queue tea pie
♥ asks : open ! accepting sfw/nsfw thoughts or any rants!
♥ rp blog: @sunshine914 !!
♥ reblogs, feedback in tags, and asks are highly appreciated and motivating. these are necessary steps to take in order to help out writers and content creators and let them know that you consume and/or enjoy their content.
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heyidkyay · 14 days
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And I'm petrified of being alone, now |
Part Nineteen
Matty Healy x reader
Summary: She’s just trying to get by, really. What with being a single parent to her four year old son whilst simultaneously trying to kick start a successful career as a radio presenter. She’s got everything she’s ever wanted though, friends close by, a mum who’s merely a phone call away, and of course her baby boy. What else is there to wish for? But then, it’s not long before her relatively normal life gets upended and turned on its head, and she’s suddenly forced to deal with situations she’s never even thought to imagine.
What happens when one mention of a certain controversial singer on her show sends a flood of unexpected challenges her way? 
Authors Note: AH this newest update has been so fun and emotional to write I'm ngl, but I'm so excited to post it!! Thanks to @procrastinatinglikeapro for proof reading it and for being so lovely with all her ideas! Please read the warninggggs, I hope everyone enjoys it, it’s a long one 🩶
Warnings: smut, feelings over scars, talks of death/selfharm in the sense of not taking care of yourself (past tense), mention of drug use
> Last update: look back here if you'd like!
Masterlist
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There were much worse ways to wake up than to a head of messy curls between your legs.
I’d been dreaming about something, I knew that much. Though the thought of it was now hazy as I inhaled deeply and shifted against bedsheets, hand reaching out to feel for the body that had fallen asleep beside me. Only it wasn’t there.
My brow pinched itself into a small frown, confused, and I blinked blearily into the dim light of my bedroom. A faint chuckle echoed and I wrinkled my nose at it, tilting my head downwards to peer towards the end of the bed.
The duvet had been shoved away, pooling around my lower legs and over the grinning idiot settled between them. He pressed a soft kiss to my inner thigh, hands gripping my hips with a certain tenderness I wasn’t all that familiar with. 
Instinctively my fingers moved to work their way into his hair, taking root there and tucking a helpless strand up out of his face. “What you doin’?”
My sleep-filled question was only met with another chuckle, then two more gentle kisses. My hips lifted a fraction as my feet planted themselves more evenly on either side of him.
“Matty.” I breathed out airily, wanting a reply, trying my best to remove the remains of sleep which continued to cling to my mind.
“Keep talking.” Matty finally spoke after what felt like an eternity, his breath tickled the skin of my thighs and I fought to withhold a shudder. “You sound so pretty.”
Stupidly, I smiled, blinking down at him slowly and enjoying the feel of him; the pressure of his arms as they rested over the tops of my legs, crowding the outer muscle, and the how his nose nudged the curve of my thigh, sending a wave of goosebumps over the exposed flesh. “Should I always expect to be woken up this way?”
He nipped me then and I inhaled sharply at the abruptness of it, hands strengthening their hold in his hair. “Would you like that?”
I felt my eyes slip close, letting the rasp of his voice trail up the length of my torso and light a fire somewhere deep in my gut. I hummed in reply, a thumb brushing over his temple when he began to plant kisses up my right leg, getting sloppier and sloppier with each press of his mouth.
“Answer me.”
“Yes.” I breathed back to him, spreading my legs even further apart to give him room and shuffling ever so slightly down the bed. “Yeah, I would.”
I felt more than heard his next chuckle. 
My chest tightened, shoulder blades pressing deeper into the mattress. 
“Matty.” I nearly whined, fingers tightening once more.
He retreated completely then, and I wished I hadn’t even spoken when he asked, “What’s wrong?” with a barely there snicker. 
I didn’t pout but it was a near thing, and he must’ve known it too if the smirk he wore gave any implication. “Don’t be a dick, please.”
My hands shifted slightly as he crawled his way back up the bed, bracketing my head between his forearms so that he could lean in for a proper kiss, delving into my mouth without much care for morning breath or the fact that I must have looked a state. 
I grabbed aimlessly at the back of his neck, pressing up into him whilst simultaneously attempting to pull him even closer. I could feel the way he’d angled his knee on one side of my waist to hold himself up and the press of his fingers as they curled their way into my hair. 
Dragging my hands down and across his front, I explored the expanse of his torso, pleased to find that he had already rid himself of the tee he’d gone to sleep in. My thumb brushed over the jut of his hip, tracing the skin I knew was the home to his ‘we are kings' tattoo. I found myself wanting, desperate to explore every part of him.
He broke away to stare down at me.
“God, you don’t-” Matty shook his head and delved back in for another kiss, “Don’t even know,” then another, “What you fucking do to me.” He punctuated those last few words with a succession of quick pecks and when he leant back in to steal another I captured his bottom lip between my teeth, before slowly I let him go.
“Show me then.” I demanded, enjoying having the feel of this man’s full focus on me.
Matty wasted no time and hastily moved his hand downwards to pull at the hem of my top. I lifted myself up slightly from the mattress to help and released a stuttered sigh when he began to work his way down the length of my torso, littering my collar with wet kisses, nipping here and there but never for long. 
I didn’t think much about my scars in that moment, hands finding purchase amongst his hair and neck once more, before I felt his lips skim across the length of a larger one that jumped over my right shoulder. My breath stuttered at the feeling and my hold fell slack at the sudden reality that hit me. 
Matty paused, obviously having sensed my harsh change, and raised his head up towards me slowly, like a person would when they didn’t want to spook a wild horse. He waited, probably trying to decipher the expression I wore.
But my mind had ultimately stopped.
“Squeaks. You good?”
My eyes snapped up to meet his own, then wandered over the expanse of his face. I saw a plethora of emotions there but none were of pity or disgust, and I found myself swallowing at the realisation.
It wasn’t that I’d never shown my scars to anybody before, or purposely gone out of my way to keep them hidden during intimate moments like this- well, at least I hadn’t for a long time now. But before, I’d typically had time to wrap my head around it first, come to terms with the fact that I’d be bearing them to somebody else, or at the very least get to mention it to the other person beforehand. 
This, this wasn’t that. And this was Matty. Matty, who’d probably had countless models in his bed. Matty, a man who was both lusted after and fought over. Matty, who was currently looking down at me with eyes so kind and soft and patient.
I let go of a shaky breath. 
“I’m good.” I finally told him, thankful for the way my voice didn’t waver when I said it.
He smiled down at me, a mischievous thing that eased my lingering doubts and settled my mind, before he was disappearing again. Nose brushing along the bone of my collar and over the milky white scars that littered it, sucking hard and fast at the skin just below my ear and then again at the shell of my shoulder.
I arched up into him, chest rising and falling the lower he got, leaving his mark alongside the rest of them. Only, I found myself wishing his were the ones that always remained.
He looked up at me once he reached the hem of my sleep shorts, an older pair I favoured, striped cotton and rimmed with a narrow strip of lace. I nodded, already knowing what his silent ask would be, and raised my hips up to allow him to drag the material down the length of my legs. 
Matty paused once more after he’d discarded them, tossing them somewhere to the edge of the room. I heard them land with a dull thud I didn’t see, too busy watching him watch me.
She was gorgeous.
Had he told her that?
Had he said it enough?
He’d say it again now but his tongue felt too heavy in his mouth and he couldn’t seem to drag his eyes away from her long enough to get his mind to work properly again. Her name on a constant loop in his head.
“Fuck.” He heard himself mutter, hands already reaching out to touch, trailing up the length of her leg, up up up, until they danced between the crease of her thigh. 
Unable to help himself he delved downwards to press another hot open-mouthed kiss to the sweet skin there, smiling at the catch he heard in her breath. “So pretty for me.”
Those hands of hers returned to his hair and he couldn’t fault her for it, she’d seemed like the type to want for something to hold. 
“Matty.” She dragged out and God, did he want to record that sound solely for the purpose of listening to it over and over again whenever he was missing her and had his hand wrapped around himself.
It seemed that someone must’ve been listening to his inner workings of his mind because again she said it not a second later, the same pitch, same breathy exhale. Matty’s dick twitched and he suddenly felt rather restricted in his boxers, but he didn’t dare pull away, too content to just lie there between her thighs.
His kisses grew closer and closer, until she was writhing beneath his mouth, fingers clinging tightly onto his curls. She whimpered and he groaned at the very sound, she seemed to like that though, forcing his face further into her folds. 
Any other time he might have laughed at her sudden boldness, but he was a little preoccupied. The taste of her seemed to explode on his tongue, rich and heady, and he reached up, hands gripping at her hips to pull her more forcefully against his mouth. Four long licks and she outright moaned, loud and free, uncaring in truth, and it only spurred Matty on. 
Quite suddenly he wanted to devour her whole, to keep the taste of her on his tongue always. And so he began to trace his name on her clit. His own selfish need to put his brand on her somehow, his claim. She bucked up against his chin, and he forced her back down. Groaning as his fingers trailed up to join his mouth. 
“Oh, God, oh shit.” He heard her mutter when his tongue delved deeper, her hands twisting in his hair, holding him against her as she chanted. 
She came not long after and Matty continued to lick languidly whilst she shuddered beneath him, drawing harsh and laboured breaths into hollow lungs. He withdrew slightly to look up at her when her hands fell slack in his hair and ran his tongue along the length of his own lip, lapping up what was there. She made quite the picture. Laid out before him, cheeks flushed, her chest rising and falling with each new breath she struggled to draw in.
Selfishly he gave one final brush of his thumb over the expanse of her overwhelmed nerves, before forcing himself up onto his knees. 
His chin was quite noticeably wet with the evidence of her pleasure and his tongue ached like fuck all else, but he felt as though he’d gone and started his day the best way he possibly could. 
So with that thought and a satisfied grin, Matty leaned over the edge of the bed to make a grab for the t-shirt he’d thrown there earlier and wiped his face with it, pressing the heel of his hand into his softening cock when he rose.
He felt like a kid, having jizzed in his pants, but he’d gotten off on that almost as much as she had. And although he’d definitely have to shower sooner rather than later, and would surely have to go commando once he was clean, Matty couldn’t find it in him to regret the way it had gone down. 
Fuck, she was maddening. Those sounds she’d made, how responsive she’d been. He only wished that he could scar the experience into his memory.
Tossing the shirt back to the floor, Matty crawled his way up the bed one more, throwing himself onto the chilled sheets beside her, admiring the way her chest continued to move with each deep inhale. His eyes latched onto everything she had to offer him, but mainly the scars she’d been so guarded about before. 
They weren’t as bad as she’d made them out to be. Though he was only drawing that conclusion from the small and quick quips she’d made about them since knowing her, and even those had been rare and few. 
He rather enjoyed the sight of them, weren’t all that different to the look of a tattoo in truth, though he’d never admit to that out loud- he wasn’t that much of a twat, nor insensitive. But still, he found himself wanting to reach out and trail over every jagged point and rounded curve of them. They were a part of her and he found them as equally beautiful as he did those soulful eyes of hers.
His index was grazing a faded pink line before he could think better of it. It rested just below the curve of her breast and looked to have been deep once upon a time, not as deep as a few of the others she bared but far enough for the skin to have raised itself in the shape of a small bump when it had scarred over. 
She didn’t stop his wandering hand. He noticed that after a few minutes had passed between them and the rise of her chest had evened out.
His eyes swept up her side to find her staring carefully back at him, he smiled and watched as she slowly copied the motion. Then witnessed the way her eyes darted downwards, shit. Matty almost went to cover up the wet patch that had seeped into his boxers with his hand but knew that there wasn’t much point. She’d seen it now. 
She wore an expression full of surprise when he looked back up at her again, as well as the beginnings of a smirk too. “Was gonna offer, but…”
Matty rolled his eyes and shoved her teasing smile away from him, she laughed giddily into her pillow.
“Yeah, laugh it up,” He retorted, and sprawled out further on the mattress, tilting his head back far enough to stretch as his eyes fell closed, “But you weren’t the one listening to you moan, babe. Fuck, it was-” He just ended up shaking his head, unable to compare the sound of her to anything right off the top of his head.
She buried her responding groan into the pillow and Matty tutted, grinning lazily up at the ceiling before he rolled on over to look at her.
“Nah, you’re doing it all wrong. It was more like-” And his mimicking whimpers were quickly cut short by the press of her hand against his mouth. Matty widened his eyes in exaggeration over the top of her thumb and mumbled something into her palm.
“Shut up.” Was all that she said to him before she was pulling away again.
Matty rolled his eyes once more. “Rude.” He huffed, forcing his weight onto the bend of his elbow so that he could properly look down at her, “You know, a thanks wouldn’t go amiss.”
She swatted him for that one before dissolving into a fit of giggles, tugging him in by the scruff of his neck to kiss him again. He wondered briefly if she could taste herself on his tongue and the thought forced a grunt to wind its way up out of his throat. 
She pulled back at that, but gave him one last peck before the pair of them then settled on their sides to share a pillow. 
Her thumb reached out to brush the edge of his mouth once they’d eased into a peaceful quiet. Matty kissed it, content to just lie there with her for as long as she’d let him.
A car rumbled outside her bedroom window not long later and then it was her whisper that broke the calm. “What time is it?” 
Matty wasn’t even sure. Just that the sun had been creeping its way slowly up into the sky when he’d first woken. He rolled over awkwardly to make a grab for the phone he’d left to charge on the side earlier, “Almost eight.” He told her. 
Squeaks blinked in surprise, eyebrows rising, “Teds should be up by now.”
Matty shrugged and pulled her close again, draping an arm over her waist and pressing his lips to the crown of her head. “Had a long day yesterday, can’t blame the kid for having a lie in.”
She snorted, “You’re the one who kept him up late.”
“He was learning!” Matty immediately defended, though he was grinning too. “And besides, I didn’t hear you complaining.”
He felt her shake her head beneath his chin, and could even picture the way she was most definitely rolling her eyes at him. “You tend to get away with everything, don’t you?”
Smirking, Matty couldn’t deny that. “Just the little things.” Was all that he replied with and she laughed into the column of his throat.
“Hm, don’t get used to it with me.” She hummed and he hoped that she was smiling still. “I won’t make things easy for you, let that be known.”
“Oh don’t I know it.” Matty teased, enjoying the way she’d wrapped her legs around his own, “Jaw fucking aches with how hard you made me work for it.”
She gasped and he barked out a loud laugh when she pinched his side, “Prick.”
Matty merely hummed, breathing in the scent of her and letting himself get swept up in the easy reality of it all. 
But then, “WAKE!”
They both seemed to freeze at the sudden interruption and Mouse was quick to pull away from out of his hold to make a grab for the tee he’d chucked onto the floor.
“Not that.” 
She grimaced at the sight of it in her hand and then shot him a begrudging look before kicking it towards a basket full of washing, pulling a larger shirt from the dresser and throwing it on.
Matty laid there on the bed, entranced by the way it fell so effortlessly off of her shoulder, exposing the scars she had there but also the marks he’d given her too. He grinned lazily and she narrowed her eyes at him when she caught it.
“What you smiling about?”
Lifting his arms up to cushion the back of his head, Matty shrugged, “No reason, baby.”
Her squint deepened, not buying a word of it, but before she could question him again, the bedroom door shot open to reveal a pouty toddler standing in a pair of pj bottoms and his superman cape. Matty raised a questioning brow.
“Save any lives yet today, Teds?”
Still grumpy with sleep, Teddy stomped his way further into the room whilst rubbing at his eyes. Matty was amused by the sight, but also the kid’s hair, which looked just as wild and untamed as his typically did.
“No. Sleepin’.” The boy grumbled to him before he seemed to realise that it was Matty he’d been talking to and his face brightened into something a little more sweeter. “Matty.” He acknowledged with a silly smile, eyes still puffy and blinking back the drowsiness he’d been suffering from.
“Teddy.” Matty mimicked, sitting up on the bed to poke his tongue out at the boy, who merely giggled in reply. “What cartoon’s on today then, mate?”
Teddy paused and it was like a light had switched itself on inside his head because one second he was staring back at Matty and the next he was barrelling his way down the hallway towards the tele set.
“Don’t drop the remote again, Teds!” Squeaks called out just before her son could disappear around the corner, she shook her head after and then turned towards Matty, “Every time it’s him that drops it, and every time it’s me that has to spend a good half hour down on my knees searching for the batteries that fucking escape.”
Matty smiled at the thought of her on her knees, and she must’ve sensed it too because she lobbed a thick hoodie his way, as well as a pair of joggers that looked to be his. He frowned down at the items and wondered when he’d left them here.
“They’re from that night I spent at yours, when I thought we’d-” She coughed then, an excuse to not finish that sentence, but Matty already knew what she’d been on about. Mind flashing back to that night he’d practically confessed all to her, and the next morning when she’d woken up in his bed and had a full blown panic attack. 
“Thanks.” He said, skipping over it all because it was in the past now and he didn’t want her stressing over shit they couldn’t well change, “Can I bum the first shower?”
She hummed, already moving around the room to tidy up a bit, “Yeah, I’ll get in after. Don’t wanna leave Teds on his own for too long.”
“I’ll be quick,” Matty assured her, already jumping up out of the bed to stumble his way on over to the door, “And don’t bother with breakfast, alright? I’ll make it.” 
A look of surprise passed over her face at the offer but Matty didn’t comment on it, having learnt long ago that him doing the most mundane tasks for her only continued to shock her.
“Five minutes!” He called out over his shoulder before he shut the bathroom door behind him. He stepped into the shower with a smile on his face when he heard her shout back a teasing taunt about timing him.
He figured that he could grow used to mornings like these.
It wasn’t long later when Matty shuffled his way out of the bathroom and further into the flat, ruffling his hair dry with a towel after having pulled on the clothes Mouse had thrown at him.
Having started down the hallway, he could hear the noise of the tele playing another episode of that show Teddy favoured and the kid’s faint chuckles whenever the characters said something mildly funny. He entered the front room to find the tyke settled on the floor before it, swaddled in a couple of blankets and still half dressed.
“Comfy, little man?” Matty questioned him with a smile, draping the towel he’d used over his shoulders when he’d come to pause by him.
Teddy peered up at him with an almost adoring expression, something Matty was still struggling to get used to. Because see it was one thing to have fans crying out to make a grab for his hand on stage, or asking for a photo in the street, he could deal with all that, had gotten used to it in fact, but this was something else. This was a tiny little bean of a person, so full of innocence and purity, looking up at him as though he was something to be admired, something special.
“Bluey ‘tending to be a bat, Matty.” Teddy grinned, pointing up at the screen towards where it looked like a cartoon dog was hanging out of a tree, “Up down.” 
Matty tilted his head at the picture and snorted, before he crouched down to run a hand through the kid’s unruly hair. “Upside down, hey?” He corrected with a smile, “Looks fun.”
Teddy nodded, eyes now trained back on the tv screen. “Wanna be bat.” He mumbled, unconsciously leaning further into Matty’s hand.
Matty chuckled to himself before he was hit with a thought, “Wanna be a bat, do you?” He smirked, hand already moving to wrap itself around Teddy’s tummy, “Alright then, Superman, get ready!”
With a squeal from Teddy, Matty swiftly jumped up and flipped the kid up into his arms, letting him dangle upside down. “Matty!”
Grinning, Matty jostled him about a bit, enough so that Teddy’s giggles started to echo around the room. “Yeah, Teddy?” He answered the boy, peering down at him from over the tops of his feet, “Did you want something?”
Teddy laughed again, harder, and then shook his head, positively delighted by the whole charade. “Down, Matty!”
“Down? What do you mean down? You said you wanted to be a bat!” Matty’s feigning of being completely unaware only made Teddy laugh louder.
“Down, Matty!” Teddy managed to giggle out again, wriggling in his hold now, enough so that Matty reckoned he ought to.
“Alright, alright.” He chuckled and pulled the little monster back up into his arms, sitting him the right way up, “Good?”
Teddy’s hair was a frizzy mess and his cheeks were all flushed, but he looked giddy with joy, grinning almost madly at Matty to the point where the corners of his mouth almost succeeded in their attempt at reaching his eyes.
“Good! ‘gain!”
Matty snorted, but dropped the kid back down again. This little passtime of theirs seemed to go on for a while before Mouse wandered out to see what all the fuss was about.
Both Matty and Teddy appeared to freeze upon noticing her standing in the doorway, a single brow quirked. “What’s going on in here then?” She laughed and Matty noticed the way her eyes darted between the two of them, “Hm?”
“Bats, mama!”
Her bewildered gaze wandered to Matty after hearing Teddy’s reply and so Matty pulled the kid up into his arms again so that he could settle him back on his mound of blankets. 
Matty jerked his chin towards the tele, “Blame the dog.”
Squeaks merely rolled her eyes, albeit fondly, before her attention was redirected towards the phone she held. Matty noted her slight frown.
“What’s up?” He asked her quietly once Teddy had grown enraptured by the kids show again. 
She sighed softly to herself but looked up at him as she did, pursuing her lips before she answered, “Just this work thing. Adi messaged me.”
Matty hummed and started to trail his way into the kitchen, recalling his earlier promise of breakfast. He could manage breakfast. “Right, anything bad?”
Squeaks shook her head, having followed, but was already staring back down at her phone again. “Apparently we somehow managed to score an hour with this one guest. Fucking notoriously hard to pin down and rarely ever available to work without it being in a moments notice, but their PR team just emailed us with an offer.”
Matty knew shit about the inner workings of a radio show, only that a guest like that could probably work wonders and bring in a whole new audience for them. “And this is a bad thing?”
She threw her head back and groaned unhappily, “Yes! It’s a bad thing, Matty! Because the only moments notice they’ve given us is a fucking hour! Apparently they’re only in London for the afternoon.”
Oh.
Things seemed to click for him then, “So you’ve got to get ready and be down at the studio as soon as?”
Another sigh and she nodded, Matty watched on as she dragged a tired hand across her face, “Or at least I would be if I had someone to watch Teddy. But Finn is on a flight back home, mum is too far away, and I can’t just turn up with Teddy to something like this- I’ll have to cancel.” And with that tangent she’s already skimming her thumbs across the screen of her phone.
Matty chewed on the inside of his lip, weighing out the pro’s and con’s, and what her reaction might just be to what he wanted to say, but then he thought fuck it. “I mean, I could watch him.”
Mouse’s head snapped up at that and Matty tried not to think too much about the weight of her gaze. “What?”
He shrugged, moving away from the counter to pick up a pan, “I could watch him, if you want.” He repeated, pausing to look her in the eye. 
Look, he wasn’t stupid, he knew this was a fucking big deal. Yeah, sure, he’d spent a lot of time with Teddy, but never the two of them alone. Him offering, was his way of helping her out, yes- but also? It was her entrusting her son to him. And that in itself was a big BIG fucking ask. “I’ve only got studio time today and that’s later, but if your thing goes on long enough then I’ll be alright to cancel.”
She was watching him like a hawk now, expression half bewildered- like she’d not even thought of this scenario playing out- and half apprehensive. He supposed he could understand. 
“Really?” She asked him and Matty noted how surprised her voice sounded, almost as though she couldn’t believe he’d offered. But he didn’t want to linger too much on that, he knew he had fucked up in the past and heard that same tone time and time before, but never with her.
Matty dipped his chin in silent acknowledgment, “Yeah, you’ll probably only be gone a couple hours, right?”
“Right.”
He swallowed, picking up the carton of eggs she kept in the cupboard and moving shit about to make it seem as though he wasn’t stressing about it either. “And me and Teds would just be here, I’ll make him food while you go get dressed, then maybe we’ll take a walk down to the park or the shops. Be back before you are,” He shrugged again, licking at his bottom lip before he continued on in his ramble, “Could even order a takeaway when you get in- A chinese or an indian, or something.”
When he chanced a glance back up, Matty found Mouse staring at him, her phone still clutched in the palm of her hand. He almost thought then that she’d turn him down, wave the offer off and cancel on the show’s guest, claiming it was too soon, that she was grateful but couldn’t make that jump just yet.
But then, “A takeaway sounds good.”
Matty startled and the spoon he’d been holding slipped out of his hand as he turned to better face her. “Yeah?” He asked, but they both knew this wasn’t about a takeaway.
He saw her throat bob around a swallow, before she took a breath and gave him a slow smile, “Yeah.” She answered softly, and Matty fucking beamed.
“Yeah?” He said again, eyebrows climbing up his forehead as he stepped his way on over the tiles to wrap his hands around her waist.
She laughed at the face he made, but he was excited. Could practically feel his heart hammering away in his chest. “Yeah, Matty.” Mouse murmured into the space between them, smiling up at him now, “If you’re sure.”
Matty laughed too and squeezed her hips, “Yeah, I’m sure.”
And as scary as it all seemed, he found that he was.
“I’m sure.”
Saying you could watch a kid, and then actually watching a kid, were two very different things as Matty quickly found out.
Teddy was rambunctious most of the time his mum was around, but once she’d given him a kiss, said her goodbyes and headed out the door, all that increased by tenfold.
“Teds, mate. Look, I love the cape, I do. But if you wanna go out you’re gonna have to put on a shirt.”
He was met with a stoney face and an evidently displeased pout. And that would’ve been fucking hilarious in itself, especially with the way the kid now had his arms crossed over his chest and chocolate from an earlier biscuit smeared across his chin, but that was only if Matty wasn’t the one standing on the other end of it.
“Please?”
See he wasn’t prone to begging for much of anything in life, he just wasn’t built that way, rebel and all that shite. But for Teddy? Matty reckoned he’d do an awful lot.
He crouched down to level the kid with his best melting look, one which had once gotten him through tsa with a couple ounces of coke in his back pocket, and simply prayed for the best.
At last, Teddy seemed to crumble! Or at least, almost. Because Matty did eventually manage to wrangle him into a decent outfit- only, the cape stayed.
Matty found that he could breathe a little easier once they’d made it out the front door, walking hand in hand with Teddy whilst the little monster splashed about in the slowly drying puddles yesterday’s rain had left. 
He’d thrown on his beanie, the one both Mouse, and now Teddy too, seemed to poke fun at him for, as well as a thick scarf to keep the biting chill at bay and cover up some of his face.
“Where’re we headed then?” Matty voiced once they’d walked a few streets with Teddy pointing out all the birds that he could see. “Park, or the shops?”
“Lego!”
Matty peered down at Teddy’s big grin and pleading eyes, guessing that the lad was after one of the few toy shops in town. He could do that, he supposed, and smiled down at Teddy to tell him so.
They ended up stumbling across an Argos further up the main road, the windows lined with ads of all sorts but Teddy spotted one showcasing all their Lego. And so they wandered in, Matty trying to recall the last time he’d ever been in an Argos whilst Teddy scrolled through the selection on one of their many reserve machines.
“Do they have Lego for everything?” He found himself asking the kid, who was propped up on his hip to better view the screen. Because it seemed it; flowers, cars, fucking aeroplanes- they even had a red telephone box that Matty couldn’t imagine any kid choosing.
Teddy managed to spot a set made up of parts for a Passenger Train that cost almost an arm and a leg, but Matty added it to his basket all the same, as well as the Pac-Man mini arcade they sold, which had been staring at him the entire time. 
What? It looked sick and he figured that he’d need something to do whilst Teddy messed about with his train.
So they paid and the bloke at the collection point seemed to sort of recognise Matty, going off of the faces he was making, but the guy only gave him a strained sort of smile and then a nod when he’d called out their number. 
He and Teddy were slow to set off again, Matty trying to wrangle the boxes of Lego he was now carrying whilst also keeping hold of the kid in his care, questioning when the hell Lego sets had gotten so fucking big. Didn’t they all used to come in plastic boxes or some shit?
He managed it anyway and they wandered about window shopping before Teddy finally spotted an ice cream shop up ahead. 
Matty was honest to God thankful for it, the bags were growing heavier as Teddy dragged him every which way and the chance to finally sit down gave him an opportunity to shoot off another text to Mouse. Although she hadn’t replied to his last, he knew that was mostly down to her being on air.
“Still can’t believe you got bubblegum.” Matty admonished once they’d sat down at a table, he wrinkled his nose at the blue monstrosity the kid seemed to be enjoying. 
“I like it!” Teddy giggled in kind, even though he was eyeing up the scoop of cookie dough Matty had picked for himself.
With a humoured smile, Matty gestured for him to pass over his spoon, one of those tiny little plastic ones that came in an assortment of five colours. Teddy eyed him suspiciously but did hand it over, resting his chin on the tops of the forearms he had crossed over the table.
Matty handed it back after taking a large chunk out of his cup and got to watch the way Teddy’s face brightened at the taste. “Like it?” He asked after the boy had licked the spoon clean and then chuckled when he got a hasty nod in reply. “Guess we can share then.”
Teddy seemed to like the idea, even more so once he’d given Matty a spoonful of his own and watched the way his face had screwed up at the horrific flavour.
“Grim.” Matty said around a cough, wanting to rid himself of the taste.
“G’im.” Teddy butchered the mimic, which only made Matty choke on his cough before spluttering into laughter.
“Yeah, mate. Exactly.”
They spent the next half an hour there, Teddy talking to Matty about the train set he’d gotten and then about how he really wanted to drive one when he was older. Which led them to, “What you do, Matty?”
Matty slumped further into his seat at the question and smiled over at the boy, “I’m in a band.”
Adorably, Teddy’s face scrunched up into a confused sort of frown at that, though it was made even sweeter by the array of ice cream he had littering the outside of his gob.
With a faint chuckle, Matty pulled out his phone and went onto YouTube, clicking the first video that popped up after typing in their name. He slid it across the table for Teddy to look at and got to see the way the kid’s eyes widened when he spotted Matty come up on the screen. 
Sure, his hair had been bleached to shit and he looked a hell of a lot younger, but it was still him. And Teds could see that.
“You.” Teddy breathed out, blinking down at the phone as TOOTIME started to play.
Matty snorted to himself and was merely thankful for the fact that the shop was loud enough to cover up the sound of his music playing. Because the last thing he wanted was to be spotted by a couple of fans asking for pictures when he was out and alone with Teddy.
“Singin’?” 
Matty blinked at the question, having lost himself in his previous thought, but then nodded. “Yeah, and see all those other people?” He mentioned, gesturing to the girl who cropped up next, “They’re like miming, pretending to sing it.” He added after Teddy had given him a puzzled tilt of his head. 
Teddy listened to the rest of the song play out after that, pointing to Matty everytime he was seen, as well as bouncing along. He made the decision to press play on the next music video before Matty could stop him, and he gasped when he recognised it.
Which cleared up that question on whether or not Mouse had actually been lying when she had claimed to like his music. He snorted at the thought. 
Matty let Teddy listen to it, grinning at the way he sang along to the chorus of Girls.
By the time they managed to escape the shop, having finished their ice cream long before, Teds had gotten to play a majority of their songs and was humming something vaguely recognisable to himself whilst they walked up the highstreet back the way they’d come. 
Looking back, Matty could see that he’d been distracted by it all. By the weight of the bags he carried and having to keep a constant hold of Teddy’s hand. Then by the way Teds was jumping along happily and singing up at Matty each chance he got. Too distracted that he didn’t seem to notice the oncomer until it was too late.
“Matty, mate!”
It was a reaction and a half the way his head shot up at the sound of a voice he hadn’t heard in years, not too far from snapping his neck clean off in fact. 
His eyes darted to the man who had started to stumble his way over to them, the grin on his face clearly hit induced, before Matty’s gaze dropped down towards Teddy, who seemed to step back on instinct and crowd himself behind Matty’s legs.
“Been fucking too long, man! How you been!”
Matty tried not to wince at how brash the bloke was, as well as the way he got too close for comfort so that he could thump him heartily on the shoulder in greeting. 
“Yeah, too long.” He muttered, keeping a strong hold on Teddy’s hand and fighting the urge to look down at him, not wanting to draw any real attention to the boy. “Look, mate, I’m a bit busy-” He said and tried to gesture the hand holding the Argos bags out to show exactly that, but his words were trampled all over.
“What the hell you doin’ in these ends then? Thought you were livin’ up on the Heath.”
Matty gritted his teeth. “Moved a bit ago, man.”
“Ah, no shit! Bet it’s as nice as the old place was though, remember the time I fucked that posh girl in your hot tub.” 
For fucks sake.
“Look, man, I’ve really got to get going.” Matty attempted once more, and was already pivoting on his feet to try and get past the loudmouth twat. It had been too long since he’d last seen Ziggy and he’d have much preferred to have kept it that way. 
“Nah, come on, let’s catch up! I know I skipped out Luke’s funeral and that, but the kid wouldn’t have wanted us lot there at his send off.” Ziggy chuckled, showcasing the chipped front tooth he was widely known for. “Got a couple e’s on me, but you can call up your guy, have a party, yeah?”
In his life, Matty had come close to dying a couple of times. He had fucking overdosed, choked on his own sick, threatened to top himself, and done some incredibly stupid shit that had almost lost him his head. But never had he ever felt a feeling like this. His guts wanted to upend themselves onto the very pavement he stood on, along with all the rest of the blood and the bones his poor excuse for a body was made up of. 
“I’m clean.”
Ziggy laughed loudly at his croaked reply, drawing more attention to the three of them than he already had, and Matty didn’t know whether or not he’d crumble then and there, or if he’d just end up punching the fucker.
“Always been a funny kid, I told ‘em that!”
Matty steeled his jaw and forced down the lump of bile that wanted to escape. “I’m clean.” He repeated, stronger this time around, grinding down on his teeth so hard that it felt like they’d shatter in his mouth.
Ziggy stopped laughing then and kissed his teeth, “Another one down.” He shook his head, in actual disappointment, “And to think you were once sound. Just another one of them rich toffs, aintcha?” He scoffed and Matty had to bite his tongue. “Tryna act hard.”
“Yeah, guess so.”
Matty went to walk away then, shuffling Teddy along with him, who was very much clinging to the back of his jeans now. It was that motion which caught Ziggy’s attention. 
“Oh shit! Matt, you’ve got a kid!” His loud and brazen cackle rattled through Matty and forced the rest of the goers littering the street to glance their way. “What, you knock up some bird, is that it? Bet she’s rinsin’ you out of all that money you made, ey rockstar?”
It was thoughtless but Matty went for him then, catching the prick by the edge of his cheap jacket and trying not to gag at the stench that fell off him. “You’ve no fucking clue, alright? So take your loud mouth and your fucking e’s, and do one.”
He gave Ziggy a hard shove, desperate to get him away, and then swallowed thickly at the realisation of what he’d just done. But still, Matty held himself strong, picking up the bag he hadn’t realised he’d dropped whilst keeping his eyes fixed on the man. He recaptured Teddy’s hand all too quickly and started to walk away.
In the time it must’ve taken him to do that though, Ziggy had righted himself and dropped the surprise. Matty heard him spit at their retreating backs, missing, but only just, and then he called out, “Yeah, walk on, Healy! But I know your type. You’ll come back, they always fucking do!”
The sound of his laughter echoed down the street and it followed Matty most of their way home.
His body shook with raw tension, jaw clenched so tightly shut that it hurt when he thought about it. But he couldn’t think about it, not then, not with what had just gone down. Not with what Teddy had- God, what Teddy had seen. 
Mouse would skin him for this. 
That thought alone broke something deep inside of him. 
Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.
“Matty?”
The world seemed to stop at the call of his name.
Matty loosened his tight hold on Teddy’s hand and inhaled before he turned to look at him. 
“I’m sorry.” He heard himself say, wishing it had been more than just a cowardly fucking whisper. I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
Teddy only smiled up at him, it was careful and wary, but fuck it was genuine. And it made Matty want to cry all the same.
How. How had he fucked up this badly.
“It’s ‘kay, Matty.” Teddy tried to soothe him. 
And at his words, Matty got down on his knees to run a hand through the boy's hair. “It’s not, and I’m sorry.”
Matty shook his head, hating himself more and more.
But he tried to smile. He had to, for Teddy.
“We ‘kay, Matty.” Teddy murmured, reaching up a hand to touch the bone of Matty’s cheek. Matty wondered how strong his resolve truly was when he just about managed to bite back the sob that threatened to choke him. “We ‘kay. Just a bad man.”
“A bad man.” Matty sniffed, pulling Teddy in close to press a chaste kiss to his forehead. “Yeah, mate. Just a bad man.”
“Can’t tell mama.”
Matty froze at that, his mouth ghosting over the boy’s temple.
Slowly, he pulled away, hand falling to the back of Teddy’s head, cradling it carefully. “It’s okay, Teds. Nothing will happen.”
But Teddy shook his head adamantly, “No, can’t tell! Mama worry.”
Oh.
Matty smiled, it was fucking sorrowful and full of self-pity, but he managed it for this sweet boy. “It’ll be okay, Teds. I swear.”
Though he wondered truly if it would.
“Can’t, Matty. Can’t!” Teddy looked like he was about to start sobbing then and there, his bottom lip wobbling whilst his eyes filled with tears, “Don’t tell!”
“But why, Teddy?” 
It was all that Matty could think to ask, to say.
“No upset, for mama, for Matty.”
Christ, Matty had really fucked up this time.
“No tell.” Teddy repeated again, unaware of how his words made Matty’s heart break. “Matty. No tell.”
And then he was sobbing, aimlessly and hopelessly into Matty’s chest. 
Matty held him near, rubbing a hand up and down the boy’s back whilst simultaneously wishing he could take everything back. That he could go back to this morning and never leave the flat. Never make that fucking offer.
He just wasn’t cut out for this.
He wasn’t-
Teddy’s fingers clung to the hoodie he wore with a strength that scared Matty a little, chest heaving with his quiet cries. “Okay, Teddy.” Matty murmured brokenly, trying to lull his crying with a soft and stuttered hush, “It’s okay, Teddy. I won’t tell. It’s okay.”
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