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w1shb0n3z · 2 days

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Alright, so hear me out

(this is another long one. Like. Seriously. It has 2.6k words.)

*yes, I edited this like 5 mins after I posted it just to add some more, oops

Post cannon Labru where Laios tries to help Kabru regain weight

TW: ED, Body Dysmorphia, Fat-phobia, Gender Dysphoria

It turns out to he a huge body image thing. Like Kabru develops a bit of an ED after he gains his weight back and tries to stay "the perfect weight" and major body dysmorphia. But! It's very sweet because hand feeding, of course, and self-acceptance.

I imagine Kabru's blue eyes get brought up when Laios is like "oh, you don't like that about yourself? :( you're so wonderful! What else could you possibly not like! Surely not those eyes ^^" or something

Plus! I'm 98% sure that Laios gains some weight post cannon, so his wrestler build gets softer, which, yay! We love that here! But this comes with its positives and negatives. (Dont he scared by how big the negative paragraph is)

Positive: Kabru has an example of having a healthy relationship with yourself and your body

Negatives (and hold on) TW btw: at a certain point of Kabru's weight gain/ body acceptance journey, where he gets obsessed with keeping "the perfect body" and does everything in his power not to gain anymore, his own twisted view of himself spills over to Laios. He starts to view Laios as a sort of slob or careless person because he gained weight after the dungeon and gained an extra 5-ish pounds while helping Kabru gain. Because Laios can and will encourage Kabru to eat by eating with him with a smile on his face.

What if someone finds out about Kabru's purging?

Yes, Kabru has purged a few times while he was at his lowest. And no, Laios doesn't catch him in the act. He doesn't know until someone tells him about it. Kabru just keeps it to himself with a tinge of guilt. Someone else finds out. I can't decide who yet, but if it were:

Chilchuck - he'd be familiar with his topic because one of his daughters went through the same thing. He keeps secret as per Kabru's request but gives to Kabru straight. He tells him vomiting hat much rots your teeth and only has negative impacts in the future. With Chil being big and tall for his race's standards and him canonically watching his own weight, he talks Kabru through this whole body image thing. Maybe not in the exact way Kabru wants, but in the way he needs

Senshi - he's SO against this. He tries to father Kabru, but his own lack of understanding for why Labru feels this way gets in the way of progress. He urges Kabru to eat and tells Laios what's goin on in hopes of figuring out what all of this is about, accidentally spilling the beans and leading to conflict between Laios and Kabru

Marcille - she doesn't really get the ED thing, but she gets not liking your body (since she never fit in with her "age group" while growing up and wished she physically presented like them). She also tells Kabru that throwing up rots his teeth and says it's bad for your mana and junk. Shes very offput by this whole thing, but she tries. She doesn't tell Laios...on purpose. (Falin also finds out becuase the guilt Marcille has from telling that secret ears her alive)

Falin - my girl does NOT understand. But she's here to empathize. She ends up being huge in Kabru's healing journey. She tries to check in on bim every now and then and uses her own transformation to promote body acceptance

Izutsumi - she doesn't know what to do. She's 17 goddamn it. So when she hears Kabru throwing up she just assumes he's sick, but when she keeps hearing it she gets a little stressed about him. She goes "he's just weird" and mentions it in conversation to someone else, most likely Marcille (which probably led to Marcille finding out in the earlier paragraph)

Mickbell...somehow - is like "dude wtf" and tells Rin about it since he knows there close. He's worried, yeah, but he doesn't think its really his problem. Especially since the two fo them aren't close like that.

Kuro - he finds out and tells Rin as well, he also tells Kabru that he looks fine. He mentions it to Mickbell, yeah, but in a "Will he be okay? :(" way

Rin - devastated. She initially gives Kabru a hard talk...which makes him worse, but hey! She tried. Rin then thinks its becuase of the shame of dying many times and tries to comfort Kabru again. Doesn't work. She tries to get him to eat the things he likes. He eats them, but she can sense the guilt from Kabru. They then have a heart to heart becuase Rin can't stand to see her best friend suffer like this and assures him that he looks fine as often as he needs

Holm - he takes a simular approach as Falin but gets a little more involved. He understands it on paper, but can't image what actually having these issues is like. Yes, he also informs Rin and is the one that told her to try to speak to Kabru in a less...prickly manner about this touchy subject

Daya - She doesnt realise what Kabru was trying to achieve by puking. So she just advises him not to do so and tells Rin about the strange behavior.

How does this affect non-platonic Labru?

Easy!

Well for starters! If they were boning before, they aren't now LMAO

Partly because of Kabru's own body image being trash and his attraction to Laios (temporarily) going to shit after Laios gained some weight to encourage Kabru. Damn that internalized fat-phobia. Neither one of them seems to have a clue what's going on. Let word, seems.

Kabru knows his view of Laios just isn't the same, but he doesn't let it be known that he's aware of this.

Does he feel bad? Yeah. But he only feels bad because he doesn't feel bad. He feels as though he's a shitty boyfriend for harboring such disgust for his partner's figure

Laios catches Kabru stealing glances at himself in the mirror. Staring just a little too long. Laios deduces that Kabru's feeling a little self-conscious after some hard thought.

So, of course, he makes sure to be extra careful about his words. He'd totally be like that one meme (which I can't find) that goes: "damn girl, that ass is wide" "what??" "I didn't want to say fat and trigger your eating disorders :/"

Plus, on the not boning thing, they're busy. You got a king and his advisor, they're not gonna be cranking it up every night! They simply sleep together, in a literal sense most nights anyways, so more sleep isn't anything bad

Additionally, I don't believe Laios has a high sex drive at all. (I personally think he's on the asexual spectrum, maybe because I'm ace, but still)

Kabru won't initiate a thing at the moment, it's up to Laio's sporadic desires to get things going. (It never gets going)

What if Laios discovers Kabru's feelings towards him and the purging?

He's hurt, simply put. He can't understand why Kabru dislikes his body, Laios can't understand why his own body would be such a turn off now.

In the non-platonic vers Laios tries to become "sexy" again. ....He fails horribly and ends up making a fool out if himself. At first he's like, "well monsters do this to attract mates" right after he feels as though he needs to inprove upon himself. Then he goes "no... Kabru isnt a monster, and im not either (unfortunately)"

He pushes that silly thought aside and tries to find out *why* Kabru is turned off by his looks now. His face? No.. His hair? Just got it cut. His figure? ...but why?

Laios goes right up to Kabru and confronts him about it. Kabru being the slippery bitch that he is denies it and goes "lol wtf haha! I luv u bae and there's nothing wrong with u!! ur so sexy and hot haha..."

This, inevitably, confused the shit out of Laios and he asks for honesty. Kabrus actions aren't exactly aligning with his words, and something needs to he done.

[Okay, let's be real here. If Kabru didn't want Laios to know how he felt, Laios' ass would NOT know lmao. This is just for the bit]

Now the purging? Laios is like "dude what? :(" he doesn't understand it. Nope. Not at all. He tires to he supportive, but he really doesn't know what to do with this. It's not like there's a bulimia monster, so he has no real frame of reference.

He's all "but you look fine how you are :(" and "I like the weight on you!" or even "did you know that [this species of monster] finds fat attractive? ,:D"

He means so so well, and Karbu knows it. Laios really is just a dog of a man.

Laios also tries to get Kabru to promise to stop. We know how that went. Karbu agreeing just to do it behind Laios' back because he knows Laios won't find out. He'll cut back on it, yeah, but he has his weak moments.

Eventually, Laios makes sure to only have Kabru serve his favorite meals. That should keep him from puking it up! And Karbu stops after a while. But only because his health is on the decline.

What else?

Two words: hand. feeding.

Kabru throws up? He gets his favorite meals so he won't. Kabru keeps checking his figure? Less mirrors in the caslte and more compliments. Kabru not eating enough or skipping meals? Simple. Laios makes sure he eats.

And how? A little less of Laios sensually slipping a fork full of decedent chocolate cake past Kabru's lips and a little more than a simple "here comes the airplane"

It starts off as Laios seeing Kabru taking smaller bites and being like "oh! Let me show you how to fill your fork! ^^" and then him taking Kabru's fork, impaling a bunch of assorted foods onto said fork, then handing it back to Kabru.

Then it sort of devolved (...evolved?) Into Kabru begrudgingly letting Laios feed him like a toddler while no one else ot looking. My boy Kabru does NOT know how to say no to this autistic man properly.

Laios was like "would it help if I just fed you?" And karbu replied something like "haha! It just might!" And of course Laios did not pick up on that God level sarcasm and went "cool, Let's try it then" and Kabru, wanting to appease Laios said "cool!". Bro was punching air.

(Yes, Laios said stuff like "good job buddy!" "You're doing so well!" "Its tasty, right?" Almost every bite)

In the non-platonic world, Laios would have Karbu sit ever so close to him as he was fed, maybe even in his lap. And of course Karbu would get a peck on the cheek after every bite. And the whole process may or may not turn Laios on. Especially when they're dining on monster. Whoops.

....anything else?

This all ties in with the absurd standards that was set for Karbu and the insecurities he hides within himself.

The whole blue-eye-spawn-of-a-demon thing was already enough for him. But being raised by that moody ass elf was a whole nother thing.

Milsiril, his adoptive elf mom, raises children like she has a monopoly in daycares. She's a serial foster fr. All them damn kids. Raising them like pets becuase you want something to love and depend on you. (I love Milsiril btw)

Anyways.

Kabru was his mom's favorite since his features were unique. Im talkin big bright blue eyes contrasting with rich dark skin, in particular. Plus, he was so sociable! All of his siblings looked up to him in one way or another. He was the star child.

And, you know that thing about elves being twinks, right? When ever Milsiril would check up on Karbu's health, she would use this old elven chart depicting the "average/desirable/suggested" height, weight, and muscle tone for diffrent short-lived races at diffrent ages/stages of life.

Safe to say these charts and texts were based off of elven standards, so everyone was thought to be slimmer, lighter, and more toned than normal. Plus, they're old lol. Instead of updating her charts and buying some from the diffrent cultures and races, she keeps her old one becuase she legit just forgets to replace it and hasn't had any "major problems" while raising her kids with that information so she doesn't think to change it.

What in trying to say is!

Kabru was raised with unrealistic body goals, and when he used to deviate from those arbitrary statistics during childhood he'd be put on diets and stuff.

Also, What if Kabru was transmasc?

Especially when he was a teen, even gaining a little wait made him go nuts. He couldn't get the words "unhealthy" out of his head and started associating it with the word "fat". His mind likes to play tricks on him when he's in the mirror. Exaggerating his figure and making him panic.

So! When he was sick and tired after that weird ass dungeon trip that changed his whole world and he came back to find himself thin as a pin, he tweaked.

He logically hated it because it was unhealthy, but a part of him was satisfied. With the added stress of becoming a Kings advisor, he started to crack under the pressure, manifesting in an obsession with himself. When he started to gain weight back he was brought right back to those check ups he had with Milsiril and those 2, maybe 3 times he was put onto diets in his youth. He really feared he was getting fat and he would just stare into the mirror and feel his flesh beneath his fingertips, searching for some sort of confirmation. All he felt was a bit of a squish, a bit of a give, and that's all he needed.

It was too much for him. His body was wrecked in his eyes. He's supposed to he fit and lean and thin and perfect. How could that be perfect? He looks in the mirror in his private study, wasting the time he could've been spending planning new city infrastructure or working out the kinks in trade. But no. He's here, in his dimly lit room, looking at how imperfect he's become in his eyes. How unhealthy he is his mom's eyes. How disgusting he is in his birth mothers eyes.

He had to fix it. The wound rubs deep, dar past the dermis. And, I guess, much like other wounds that cut a chasm into the skin, you don't really feel it once it severs your nerves. You don't really notice until you see the big, gaping, bleeding, notch where you used to be.

Lol anyways

Whoo boy. He is in hell. He feels like gaining weight makes him look "softer" and more feminine. He hates it, yes. But he tries his best not to let it effect his wardrobe. This whole weight journey really rehydrated his gender dysphoria.

He's used to looking a little androgynous, but with his new weight going to his stomach, hips, and thighs, he just feels as though his silhouette is becoming more girly.

Kabru is found training and working out more. Anything to get his body more boxy again.

He spends more time making sure he looks presentable. Even waking up a little earlier to ensure he vouge cover ready. (Well, I mean, as vouge ready as perpetual business casual can be)

And how does it end?

It takes some time, but Kabru heals. He's 10 pounds heavier than when we were first introduced to him, but he doesn't mind anymore.

It was a long journey full of all sorts of denail and shame, but he got there.

He's still the Light Yagami coded perfect chivalrous boy. He always has been. And Laios loves him all the same. Platonically or not.

Laios was essential in Karbu learning to let go of those impossible ideal and unreachable standards. Laios does not give a fuck afterall, he thinks all human bodies are unintresting beautiful! That dude does not judge. Rember him talking about the orc women in one of the monster tidbit sections? He's about body acceptance and neutrality.

Kabru grew to love his body, not just tolderate it or like it because someone else does. And if it tickles you, he liked the extra pounds Laios gained in the end, too. And if you're here for non-platonic Labru, then Laios may have became a bit of a feeder and has a tiiiiny food kink. Plus, Laios is a huge fan of the squish and Kabru likes how warm Laios is.

I just want to add this in here, also hecuase ive seen it before and i agree, but Laios seems like the type to give dutch ovens. He shows love like a big brother and its horrible (affectionate). This passes Karbu off SO BAD and it's hilarious. He has to sit down and have a very direct and serious talk about "getting too comfortable". And Laios would sit there the entire time like a sad dog and nod along.

Kabru and Laios also wrestle. No debate. They do it to spar, Laios does it for fun, Kabru does it to make Laios shut up. It's great!

Sorry this took so long lmao,, I legit just kept forgetting to write this

This was just word vomit. I've lost the plot somewhere along the way, I fear

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yoursweetwife · 2 days

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hi i’m absolutely brain rottimg about dr ratio while trying to complete a lab report

just thinking about his partner complaining about statistics and about how they despise statistical analysis. they’ve got this report to do (i wonder where this idea is coming from…) and they’re dreading it

he notices them furrowing their brows as they input data into this analysis program, cursing under their breath.

“aeons, why is this so confusing…? the graphs they use… why can’t i tell if…” they’re mumbling under their breath, absolutely confused. they’ve actually been at it for a while, and ratio *hates* to admit that he’s beginning to miss their presence…

so he goes up and pries the laptop out of their hands, with a soft mumble of ‘you’re an idiot’ under his breath.

“i’ll help you out. it’s better than watching you fumble with the data like an idiot.” he says softly, but he really is too embarrassed to admit he would literally do their whole lab report for them if they asked him.

just thinking of soft fluffy dr ratio begrudgingly helping his partner suffer through their lab work. as a reward they smother him in kisses and he hates to admit he enjoys seeing them so happy and thankful…

GET HIM OUT OF MY BRAIN!!! IM BRAINROTTING!! I WANT HIM DEAD /J

Sorry, it took me a long time to respond to your request. Since you didn't specify gender, I decided to take a female reader

synopsis: [name] was tired and Ratio decided to help his lover

frmale!reader

Sitting on the flock sofa, Ratio looked up from his book from time to time to look at his watch. From the outside it may seem that he is completely calm, but inside the scientist was trying to overcome his own anxiety. Only the rapid tapping of his fingers on the pages of the book betrayed his irritation.

Ratio ran his hand through his disheveled hair and sighed irritably. How long he's been sitting here? Ever since you told him to go to bed alone because you had a lab report to fill out, and Ratio knew how much you hated that, but you hated asking him for help even more. And no matter how much Veritas respected you for this, your absence began to bother him.

And Ratio hates this feeling, now even being alone in the room seems like some kind of torture, he’s used to your more physical displays of affection, cuddling against his side, resting your head on his shoulder..

Quiet rustling noises made Ratio glance displeasedly towards the kitchen. He put the book on the coffee table and headed into the next room, trying to make as little noise as possible.

Already at the door frame, his golden eyes met your tired figure. He could hear you irritably whispering curses under your breath while writing something down, and Ratio began to fear that you were about to cry, seeing your completely confused face and futile attempts to fill out the table.

You didn't even notice his bulky figure standing right in front of you, and his worried expression never reached your eyes. For a couple of seconds, he had the urge to throw the ill-fated laptop out the window.

"Oh, I don't understand...what.."

Here again, Ratio rubbed the bridge of his nose, and with light steps walked straight to the table, before you even had time to come to your senses, as the gadget slammed shut in front of your face, making you flinch.

Veritas stands at the side of the table, keeping his hand on the computer and staring irritably straight into your tired eyes. His whole body was tense, as evidenced by the bulging veins on his strong arms and twitching muscles, you almost thought that he was going to scold you for your idiocy, as if you were one of his students.

"Veritas, what are you doing?"

He interrupted your question and leaned closer to your face, and you involuntarily held your breath, avoiding his assessing gaze and waiting for the next words.

“Idiot, how long are you going to rack your brain over such basic things? If you continue to stare mindlessly at the screen, knowledge will not appear in your head automatically.”

Ratio crossed his arms over his chest and looked at you expectantly. You laughed awkwardly and leaned back in your chair, relaxing for the first time in hours.

“What else could I do but stare mindlessly?”

You decided to joke to diffuse the tension. But your lover seemed to take it seriously and pointed to himself proudly.

"For example, asking me for help."

The look of surprise your face did not go unnoticed, but almost immediately it was replaced by a slight smile. Ratio's face relaxed a little, and his cheeks turned a light crimson shade.He cleared his throat, trying to regain his composure.

"I'll help you. It's better than watching you fiddle with data like an idiot."

In just a second he was sitting next to you, opening laptop to see what he had to work with. For aeons, he wanted to get this over with as quickly as possible and be in a soft bed with you in his arms.

You silently watched Veritas’s actions, listening to his explanations, but your thoughts constantly went somewhere else. Contrary to popular belief, Ratio is quite a cute lover, especially in the mornings when he is too sleepy to try to act cool and confident. And his attempts to hide his need for you are adorable.

Soon the work was almost finished, and you even learned something during this time and helped Veritas, for which you received a dry “not bad,” but pride was visible in his eyes.

You couldn't help but yawn, causing tears to form in your eyes. Your lover shook his head softly. His sweet troubled woman.

"Time for bed, you look like you might faint from exhaustion."

“Thank you, Veritas, now I’ll clean everything up and we’ll go...”

Just as you reached for the mess on the table, Veritas stopped your hand, gently grabbing your wrist, and looked at you sternly.

"I'm pretty sure it can wait until tomorrow."

"But..."

With his free hand, Veritas lifted your chin while the other rested on your waist.

"No "but", we're going to the room now and you won't get out of bed until the next morning."

Ratio said, draw out each word. A deep blush filled your cheeks, for the first time Veritas looked so...needy, and he also seemed surprised by his own words.

Veritas let go of you almost immediately and turned away, trying to hide his red face, but you prevented him by grabbing both of his hands.

“It seems like I never thanked you for your help, does it?”

Your soft hands came to rest on his face, pulling him closer to place a light but passionate kiss on his lips. And Veritas wasted no time in deepening the kiss, leaning into your soothing touch.

If you always thank him like that, then he is ready to fill out thousands of such reports.

You soon broke contact and a few more quick kisses landed on his cheeks, forehead and nose, causing him to protest, but despite the outward hostility, Veritas clearly wanted more, and you were going to give it to him.

#hsr x reader #dr ratio x reader #dr ratio #female reader #hsr #dr ratio fluff #honkai star rail #honkai star rail x reader

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ecoamerica · 1 month

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cheriladycl01 · 2 days

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Meet the Parents - Zhou Guanyu x JamaicanOlympicSwimming! Reader

Plot: Zhou wants to go on holiday to spend time with you, he’s never met your parents so of course a Caribbean holiday back to your home where your treated like a queen is the only correct decision!

Credits to princemick for the GIF

"I'm very nervous ..." Zhou had told you on the plane ride over. You'd been pampering yourselves using up all the first class things available.

"You don't have to be my love! They'll love you and Jamaica is so welcoming! You'll love it!" you smiled at him as you helped him put the charcoal facemask on that you'd brought in duty free.

You spent the rest of the flight chilling and drinking champagne. And trying to prep Zhou for not only meeting your family but the pure weight of travelling with you around your country.

You were the first Jamaican Gold Medalist in Swimming so in a lot of peoples eyes you were up there with the likes of Usain Bolt. Your face was everywhere ... on local drink, in random village bars and people would be able to recognize you straight away.

Zhou was familiar with the fans and the pressure of being an athlete in the eye of the media, so he was expecting something familiar to his home crowd when he raced in Shanghai for the first time. But boy was he wrong.

You were treated like royalty, like a princess. The minute you stepped of the plane at Sangster Airport you were flooded with locals coming up and offering you Mango, Bananas or Rum. Paper was shoved towards you at many different angles and you were just laughing giving out hugs and kissing cheeks until airport security came running up to you and Zhou apologizing for being delayed.

You guys were taken to your childhood home which was right on the beach, there was a pool and you'd driven past an old beach bar that you used to sneak to during school.

"Mami!" you cried seeing her out on the porch to your home.

"My beautiful girl! Come here!" she cries and pulls you into a hug as Zhou carefully steps out the car pulling out all your cases and thanking the driver.

"Ahhh! Is this my handsome son!" you mother cries seeing Zhou and you nod with a massive smile on your face. She'd been dying to meet him for a while.

"Come here!" she says and Zhou waddles forward being pulled into the woman as he wraps his arms around her.

"Dad!" you grinned as your father came jogging from round the back of the house where the pool and garden was.

"Baby!" he cries picking you up and spinning you round.

"Oh my gosh you are more beautiful than the last time i saw you" he says as you land back on the ground and he looks over you before pinching you cheek lightly.

"Oh dad, this is ..." you start but your dad is already walking over.

"Zhou! Amazing to meet you son. How was the flight over? Not too long i hope!" he asks slapping his shoulder lightly making Zhou chuckle.

"Erm, yes. I'm used to all the travel. But Y/N actually showed me the face masks she always uses so my skin, not as dry" he rambles a little on edge and your dad can immediately tell.

"Zhou, no need to be anxious you are family now!" he grins pulling him into another hug.

"Well, we'll take your bags in, why don't you show him round the house and then we can all go to the bar! You've got some people who want to see you!" you mum smiles pulling your dad back towards the cases.

"Thanks mami!" you grin kissing her cheek while your dad winks picking up the first few cases.

"Are you sure you don't want any help?" Zhou asks kindly making your mum and dad laugh and push him further into the entrance.

Your immediately welcomed by a wooden and beach living room, doors opening straight to the back garden where there are palm trees and wooden planks going to a crystal blue pool.

But Zhou's eyes are held on the trophy cabinet to the left.

"Are these all your awards?" he asks looking over them. There were tons as your parents refused to bin anything you won. Even when it was something you won when you were 4 years old.

Both of you Olympic medals were there for swimming. One Bronze, One Gold.

There were other national and international competition trophies from recent years in between the Olympics to support the vast amount of awards in the case.

"You are really special!" he smiles looking over everything and you lightly blush looking down.

"Thank you, you want to see where i learnt how to swim?" you ask looking over him, wanting to show him the white sandy beach awaiting.

"Of course!" he smiles and you take his hand in yours as you walk him down the wooden steps of the deck to the pool.

"I learnt in this pool and trained a lot in here when i wasn't old enough to go in the public pool ... but come with me! I think this is the coolest place you'll ever see" you grin and he nods following you down a cobblestone pathway that met sand.

The sight of a pure white beach following crystal blue waters met his eye and he was in awe.

"This is where i spent a lot of time as a kid. Swimming was a part of me..." you smile and Zhou cannot stop looking at you, he loved the raw passion on your face.

"You are glowing here..." he smiles and you just look over him confused as you sit down in the sand listening to the sound of the waves.

"I could get used to this" he says as he fully reclines relaxing all the season stresses off him.

"I love you Zhou..." you smile rolling onto your side and kissing his cheek.

y/user

Liked by zhouguanyu24 and others

y/user: Going back home is always an incredible feeling, first time my boy met my parents and got to see where i learnt how to swim. China next month!

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zhouguanyu24: Thank you for showing me everything so beautiful here. I cannot wait to show you around Shanghai

fan1: Zhou met the parents! I repeat Zhou met the parents.

fan2: they are literally so cute!

Instagram Story Caption:

Back in the homeland! Love you Jamaica <3

Taglist:

@littlesatanicassholebitch @hockey-racing-fubol @laura-naruto-fan1998 @22yuki @simxican @sinofwriting @lewisroscoelove @cmleitora @daemyratwst @lauralarsen @the-untamed-soul @thewulf @itsjustkhaos @purplephantomwolf @chasing-liberosis @summissss @gulphulp @starfusionsworld @jspitwall @sierruhhhh @georgeparisole @youcannotcancelquidditch @tallbrownhairsarcastic @ourteenagetragedy @peachiicherries @formulas-bitch @cherry-piee @spilled-coffee-cup @mehrmonga @bigsimperika @blueberry64857959 @eiraethh @curseofhecate @alliwantisadonut @dark-night-sky-99 @i-wish-this-was-me @tallrock35 @butterfly-lover @barnestatic @landossainz @darleneslane @barcelonaloverf1life @r0nnsblog @ilove-tswizzle @laneyspaulding19 @malynn @viennakarma @landosgirlxoxo @marie0v @yourbane @teamnovalak @nikfigueiredo @fionaschicken @0picels0 @tinydeskwriter @ironmaiden1313 @splaterparty0-0 @formula1mount

#f1 imagine #f1 x reader #formula 1 x you #formula 1 #formula one #formula one fanfiction #zhou guanyu oneshot #zhou guanyu fanfic #zhou guanyu x you #zhou guanyu imagine #zhou guanyu x reader #zhou guanyu #zg24 oneshot #zg24 fic #zg24 imagine #zg24 #zg24 fanfic

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billwidoll · 1 day

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My brother

It was just another normal dinner in the Cameron family. Ward talking about business, Sarah looking at her cell phone, Whezzie reading a book, Rose talking about fashion, and you and Rafe always joking with each other.

You were on Rafe's side of the table, and the two of you only knew how to joke and laugh, Rafe was the oldest so he was always extra protective of you.

"it looks like there's a boyfriend here"

Sarah says out loud, when she sees a photo of you and JJ kissing, but the photo was posted on best friends (Instagram)

"Who are you dating?"

Rafe speaks innocently, confused and your hair stands on end, because you hadn't told Rafe yet

"what do you mean who? Y/N is dating"

when Sarah says this, Rafe's attitude changes drastically. His chest is straight, his oats are almost exploding, and his face looks like a scowl

"what are you talking about?" Rafe asks in a whisper as if he were a predator

You couldn’t move a muscle, let alone look at Rafe. Rafe wasn't just his half-brother, he was his best friend, and he was possessive and protective to a fault.

"I lost my appetite" Rafe says, leaving the table and everyone doesn't understand, except you.

When everyone went to sleep, you went to Rafe's room to try and talk to him.

"Rafe?" You speak, opening the door that was ajar

When you entered you found Rafe snorting cocaine. And you knew when he did that, it was because he was mad and wanted to do some kind of shit

"I'm coming to talk to you" You speak slowly, you knew Rafe was sensitive when he smelled

"it's a good thing, because I was about to talk to you too" Rafe says, getting up and approaching you

"talk to me or fight with me?" You speak and Rafe takes a deep breath

"Why would I fight with you? Why are you dating? And I didn't know" Rafe says, upset, just thinking that you were dating behind his

"How was I going to tell you? You're super protective of me, and you don't want anyone to get close to me!" You shout at Rafe, but in a tone that no one can hear.

"What? You were supposed to be apologizing to me, right?" Rafe says and you roll your eyes

"I'm not going to apologize, because I just want to enjoy my life" You say and Rafe stares at you like a lion

He walks past you and closes the bedroom lock and you get intense

"it's time for me to show you what they really do to naughty girls" Rafe says in a husky voice behind you with his mouth in your ear

To be continued

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celaenaeiln · 19 hours

Note

I know you don't really talk about Tim and Jason but I wondered why you said that Bruce likes Jason more then Tim when I always viewed it the other way around

og post in reference

Anon it's a such a coincidence for me to get this because this was something I actively debated over while creating the ranking.

In fact, originally I had written "4. Jason/Tim (tie?) 5. Tim/Jason (tie)" before I got rid of the slashes and ties.

This is the one part of the ranking that I'm most confused on/don't have an exact answer for. The rest are solid and those I'll be explaining in a different post soon but these two gave me a lot of confusion.

I think what it comes down to is in which shitty way that Bruce treats either of them expresses more love. And to me they're roughly the same in equally but different bad ways.

Bruce obviously loves Jason but he's also not remotely proud of him. His relationship with Jason is always "I love you BUT-" kinda relationship.

"You're good-

Batman (1940) Issue #415

BUT-"

Batman (1940) Issue #415

"You're loveable-

Batman (1940) Issue #410

BUT-"

Batman (1940) Issue #411

There's always an opposing side to every good thing Bruce says about him. He views Jason as a failure but he still loves him and yet can't help putting him down. After Bruce dies, he leaves a message for Jason -

Batman: Battle for the Cowl Issue #3

Like Bruce full on treats him like absolute shit. How could you as a parent tell your son straight to his face that he's a failure and then say that it's your fault?? Somehow this is adding more insult than injury than to just blame him directly.

Bruce and Jason had good and bad times when he was Robin. There many times when Bruce was like "Good job, lab!" and other times when he struggled to deal with Jason. There was one case in particular that soured their relationship irrevocably. Things became really bad between them after that such that Bruce actively fights with himself not to lose his temper at Jason more than he used to.

For example:

Batman (1940) Issue #426

Things get worse and worse, Batman benches him, Jason runs off to Ethiopia, and then you-know-what happens. In summary of their Robin-Batman relationship, Bruce thought he found a good partner in Jason, was happy for a while, but then started believing he made a mistake when Jason used the skills he taught him to go past the limits of what Bruce was acceptable with. The secret Bruce talks about is that one irreversible case I mentioned - Gloria/Felipe - where Jason killed a man. Or atleast Bruce suspects he killed a man.

Batman (1940) Issue #422

Batman (1940) Issue #424

When Jason came back as Red Hood, Batman felt so guilty for the fact that he made Jason robin because then Jason wouldn't have died but also believed that Jason was beyond saving. When Jason was at the hands of the society because of Black Mask who wanted revenge on him for what he did, Bruce almost let Jason die a second time - this time intentionally - before he changed his mind last minute and joined the fight to help him out.

Batman: Under the Red Hood Issue #10

It's this type of relationship I struggle with because Bruce very much loves him and even says so -

Batman: Hush Issue #11

But also guess what tips him off that he's not fighting Jason?

Batman: Hush Issue #11

I call this confusing but Dick calls this something else entirely.

Batman: Battle for the Cowl Issue #3

Tough love.

Maybe, but I guess how I would make out their relationship to be is: if Jason acts within Bruce's expectations, then Bruce loves him. If he doesn't then Bruce doesn't hold back hitting and punching. I don't think their relationship is tough love as much as it is conditional love. There are conditions to the way Jason must act in order for Bruce to love him and if he doesn't act that way then he stops caring about his son. He's happy if Jason comes to gatherings but doesn't particularly care if he doesn't. He leaves Jason alone if he follows his rules but actively goes after him if he doesn't. Both in his Robin days and now, Bruce doesn't tolerate Jason if he acts outside expectation but still loves him and although it's not the kind of love you would appreciate, it's also not the kind you can set aside and call it nothing. It's complicated. That's Jason and Bruce's relationship.

Tim on the other hand, he's very proud of. He thinks Tim is excellent, smart, dependable, and loves him very much.

Batman (2016) Issue #128

But I feel like Bruce takes him for granted.

Bruce was both neglectful and very involved in Tim's life.

Bruce means a lot to Tim in the sense that he was a true father to him.

Batman (1940) Issue #480

Tim's dad Jack gets really worried that Tim might consider Bruce more of a father than him. "Maybe - But I'm your father, Tim. Not him!"

The developing relationship between Bruce and Tim was based originally on need. Bruce needed someone who he could work with and Tim needed someone who could be there for him. As time evolved that need turned into liking which turned into love.

After Jason, Bruce needed someone who listened to him completely. Someone who never questioned him or doubted his orders and Tim was everything Bruce needed and he loved that.

Batman (1940) Issue #467

Bruce invested a LOT of time into Tim's training and he also depends on him heavily but at the same time I feel like he constantly brushes off Tim's words and worries.

Robin (1993) Issue #9

Batman: Urban Legends Issue #10

The classic "I trust you but I know better than you" x 10. And it's this thing that gives me doubts because I get this inexplicable sense of distance in their relationship. Bruce loves, trusts, and cares for him but I feel like there's something missing.

This being said, I realize that there's no clear explanation as to why I feel this way so I'll change the ranking back to "tie" for the two of them like I originally had. Because while Bruce loves Jason, he doesn't tolerate him and while Bruce loves Tim, he kinda disregards him in a way. And between these situations, I can't decide what represents more love or favoritism. I guess a part of me just felt really, REALLY bad for the way Bruce treated Jason. That post kinda shredded my heart so I gave him brownie points on the favoritism ranking list but in hindsight, after all this and writing it all out, I think Bruce loves Tim and Jason equally. It's entirely possible Bruce may actually love Tim more because unlike with Jason, I can't provide evidence of Bruce distancing himself from Tim in loving - only left with more of a sense. So in this case I agree with you, anon. It's very possible.

#jason todd #red hood #robin jason todd #tim drake #red robin #robin tim drake #bruce wayne #batman #dick grayson #nightwing #cl anon asks #cl asks #thanks for the ask!#this is the first time I've been completely unsure on something #tough but good ask anon #my brain has melted. I spent days on this and I'm still not any clearer

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wings-of-ink · 1 day

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Wanna eat your work that's how deliciously you write!!

Recently I saw super sad ask about MC breaking up with RO (gently). If you haven't done this before, could you give us ROs reaction?

BUT THERE'S A TWIST!

In the end ROs also find out that MC done this on purpose to keep ROs out of something dangerous. MC still loves them ofc but they hurt them to protect them,,,,, kinda poetic

So glad you find it tasty, Anon! I will continue to cook this stuff up and feed you even more (but you're gonna have to have a few veggies before dessert).

That is a super sad ask! But I like the twist. As the MC has some difficult things ahead, something like this may come up in the routes, but it's too far out for me to see quite yet. And it may just be MC sneaking off to "handle" something (that they really shouldn't be doing alone).

Oswin:

He can't swallow for fear of choking and goes silent.

MC watches Oswin carefully, noticing that he's started to subtly shake.

"So…that's just it." His voice is breaking.

MC nods, trying their best to keep a straight face.

"You…you put up with me for all this time, I tell you everything, all…all that I've…" Oswin's voice cracks and tears start to roll down his eyes.

There's a ringing in their ears, MC can't stand this, but it's for the best. The world is better with Oswin in it, they have to do this to keep him safe.

"I can't…I can't bear this. It will kill me, MC…we planned a life together. I don't want to be apart." Oswin lands on MC's shoulder, releasing a painful sob.

MC feels their very soul begin to burn. They don't want this either, but it's the best way. They keep telling themselves that. It's for the best.

Zahn:

Zahn takes the news with a cruel amount of stoicism. MC expected some sort of resistance, maybe even tears or a plea. Were they hoping for that even?

MC waits for a response for a while, but Zahn gives nothing away before simply turning around and leaving. MC stands in shock for several minutes before they snap from their daze and go out to find them.

They find Zahn sitting by the brook, watching the water churn by, still quiet and still.

MC sits next to them. "Zahn you need to say something…please."

"Why should I?" Their voice is straining but harsh.

"You let me say my part…it's only fair."

Zahn nods, and then chuckles, but the sound is cruel. "You just threw me away like everyone else did. So, no, I don't know what to say."

Duri:

"You forget how easily I can read you." Duri smirks, folding their arms and leaning against the wall.

MC stares at them. They knew it would be a challenge. Lying to a demigod is stupid at best - then again, so is romancing one. "My choice is still firm."

Duri shakes their head. "It's the choice that is the lie, MC."

"It's still mine to make."

They nod. "That's true."

MC expects more argument on the subject, spotting a peculiar shine to Duri's doleful eyes that's rare to see.

"I guess I will just have to convince you to pick me again then. I did it once before…somehow. Even if you don't want to love me now…you can still love me later."

MC's resolve nearly cracks, but they try to give nothing away.

A familiar smile splays on Duri's lips, but it lacks the mirth they usually have. "Besides, I have to find what you're hiding, and you know how good I am at that."

Rune:

"No," Rune says.

MC shifts uncomfortably. It has to be now. They have to say goodbye now before it's too late. Losing themselves is one thing, but they can't lose Rune. "What do you mean no? It's the way it is, the way I want it."

Rune's eyes roll, the purple orbs practically glowing. "You're hiding something."

"I am not. I just…we are from very different worlds, this isn't the time - I can't…"

"You can't what?" They fold their arms and stare into MC.

"Be with you like this."

They begin to pace. "Did you learn how to lie from Oswin? Don't feed me lines like that when your voice holds no conviction. Make no mistake, Northbreaker, I know that I am no one's first choice in a lover."

MC barely stifles a rebuttal.

"No one puts up with my shit unless their feelings are genuine, MC. What hurts me the most is not your failure to convince me that you'd rather us go our separate ways - it's that you apparently do not trust me enough to help you shoulder your burdens."

The quiver of their lower lip betrays MC's feelings.

???:

"Would you like to try that again with a straight face?" He smiles. That stupid smug smile that you hate to love. It doesn't reach his eyes and it's the most condescending look he has in his arsenal.

"We can't do this anymore. I was infatuated, it's not-"

"Real?" he finishes. "Not real love?"

"Yes."

He tuts. "No, no, my dear. See, I opened all I am to you - that is a door you cannot close easily. Don't mistake the phrasing as a threat - if you truly wish to part from me, then do so. But, don't lie to yourself or to me."

"I'm not-"

"You are spectacularly bad at it." He affirms, his voice hard. "You knew you would not be able to, but you still tried."

MC stands there feeling like a scolded child. He always flips everything on its head.

He sighs. "I am sorry. I am hurt. I know you are hiding something, but I do not wish to imagine my world without you. Please, just let me help."

There you are Anon! May the angst nourish your wicked and lovely soul. ^_^

#tw heavy topics #tw heartbreak #tw breakup #god cursed if #asks #twine if #if wip #twine wip #gc ro reactions #MC can't get away with shit with these people lol

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ecoamerica · 1 month

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youtube

Watch the 2024 American Climate Leadership Awards for High School Students now: https://youtu.be/5C-bb9PoRLc

The recording is now available on ecoAmerica's YouTube channel for viewers to be inspired by student climate leaders! Join Aishah-Nyeta Brown & Jerome Foster II and be inspired by student climate leaders as we recognize the High School Student finalists. Watch now to find out which student received the $25,000 grand prize and top recognition!

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ecto--spasm · 2 days

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Hello Tumblr, my art style has changed in the past week so now I feel confident enough to bring you MY Avatar!Tim Stoker au where he is an Avatar of The Slaughter rather than The Desolation bc I feel it fits him more! More Under the cut, spoilers for The Magnus Archives obvi! Enjoy my Tim Tism if you read below!

I believe in Tim being able to become an Avatar of The Slaughter if he was just given enough time. People always say: "Ooo Desolation Tim!! Desolation Tim!!" That's a cop out!! (/lh, I love the au) Just because he blew up and acted like he don't know nobodayy doesn't mean he really aligns with The Desolation in terms of his personality, which is the biggest factor in deciding which Fear takes interest in you! I'm here to give you the Swag Slaughter Tim and here are my reasonings: Tim doesn't necessarily want to destroy everything that The Stranger loves in The Unknowing, which is typically what The Desolation wants. An Avatar of The Desolation would be giddy at the idea of destroying everything for the sake of it, ruining lives for the sake of it, etc, etc. Hear me out: Tim does not want either of those things. Tim wants The Stranger, Elias, and even Jon to hurt and does not care if he's putting his fellow coworkers or any possible innocent passerby's in danger in the process solely because he's so focused on revenge for both Danny and Sasha in almost all of Season 3. Hell, he straight up tells Elias to kill him or fuck off!! He straight up accuses Elias of wanting to take over the world himself, but makes no moves to destroy his plans despite knowing what was likely to come!! Unpredictable violence for the sake of violence is very prevalent in his final act and his anger becomes something that boils his insides and takes him over, leaving him to be an vengeful, violent person in his end that hurts with not only C4, but his words, for the sake of hurting- which is Slaughter Aligned. "Jon, if you're hearing this: I don't forgive you ..." "I know. But I can hurt you." And that is my piece on Slaughter!Tim ! Lmk if you agree or disagree, I'd love to hear everyone's thoughts!

#TIM TISM YAP CENTRAL #YIPPEE #my art #tma #tma tim #tma fanart #tma podcast #tma spoilers #magnus archives #the magnus archives fanart #the magnus archives #tim stoker #Slaughter!Tim AU #the magnus archives tim

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misc-obeyme · 2 days

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I came across a "Reverse Trope Writing Prompt" list and had a merry time giggling at some of them. "Too many beds," and "Really nice guy who hates only you," got me in particular, but there are other ones that, I think, got good dramatic legs ("True hate's kiss," and "Soulmates fated to kill each other," are my faves).

Could I ask a snippet for "Instead of fake dating, everyone is convinced that you aren't actually dating," with the Barbs (or any of the prompts of your choice, they're all winners).

-🪿honk

Ah I saw that post too! I think I reblogged it? If I did, it was to my main. But I'm pretty sure I saw it at some point!

Too many beds lol that just sounds like a slumber party waiting to happen. Or maybe it's a room full of beds and MC ends up on one side and their love interest is on the other side and there are twenty beds in between them.

Anyway, here's MC & Barbatos with everyone being convinced they aren't actually dating! I had a little fun with it~

You were planning an upcoming dance with the student council for RAD. The seven demon brothers, Diavolo, and Barbatos were all present. You had discussed most of the details, ironing out things like who was in charge of decorations and who would provide the food.

Now the conversation had inevitably turned to who would be in attendance and if anyone planned to bring a date.

Asmo sighed. "I suppose you're not an option now, are you, MC?"

You blinked and looked at him. "Oh? Did you want to go with me? I don't see why not."

Asmo gasped excitedly, but Satan frowned. "Hang on, MC," Satan said. "Didn't you tell us you were dating Barbatos?"

You shrugged. "Barb doesn't mind. Right?"

You looked over at Barbatos who was sitting a ways down the table from you. "Of course not," he said mildly. "You're free to attend with whomever you choose. I suspect I will be busy with the food anyway."

You noted the raised eyebrows that some of the brothers exchanged.

"Are you sure you guys are dating?" Satan asked.

"Pretty sure, yeah," you said. "Anyway, you wanna go to the dance with me, Asmo?"

Asmo was delighted to take you, of course.

You found yourself in class with Beel and Belphie when Barbatos came in from the home economics class next door carrying a tray full of cookies.

He placed the tray down in front of Beel. "I'm afraid I made far too many of these," he said. "I thought perhaps you would enjoy them, Beelzebub."

Beel was already halfway through the large pile of cookies. "Mmnks," he said with his mouth full. Beel handed you and Belphie each a cookie.

"I'm surprised you didn't just bring all these to MC," Belphie said.

Barbatos looked around. "Ah, MC," he said. "I'm afraid I didn't see you there."

"Hey, Barbatos," you said. You gestured at him with the cookie. "Your cookies are delightful as always."

Barbatos bowed formally to you. "You flatter me," he said.

As he left the room, Belphie looked at you askance. "Aren't you guys dating?"

You finished the cookie. "Yeah, why?"

"Oh, nothing," Belphie said, though he clearly didn't believe you.

You were alone in your room at the House of Lamentation, laying on your bed and scrolling through your D.D.D.

You heard something and looked up to see Barbatos using a portal to enter your room.

You sat up a little. "Done working already?" you asked.

Barbatos made straight for you and you quickly found yourself being kissed silly. You laughed against his mouth.

He pulled away for a moment to look down at you, a slight frown on his face. "Are you quite finished with your little scheme?" he asked.

You wiped tears of laughter away from your eyes. "Aw, come on!" you said. "It's so funny to see their reactions. It's not my fault you're able to keep the perfect straight face no matter what I say."

Barbatos sighed. "MC, you really try my patience."

You smirked and wrapped your arms around his neck. "Isn't it all worth it when we're alone and you can let yourself go?"

Barbatos looked aggrieved. "You deserve a lecture, but I'm afraid I have other things on my mind."

Needless to say, Barbatos did not leave your room for some time.

masterlist | Thank you for reading!

#MC you little chaos gremlin I love you #poor Barb lol #obey me #obey me nightbringer #obey me barbatos #om barbatos #obey me barbatos x reader #om barbatos x reader #obey me barbatos x mc #om barbatos x mc #x reader #🪿 anon #request #misc writes

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nicoscheer · 3 days

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Miles Kane, What It's Like to Play as a 'One Man Band'

We met Miles Kane as a founding member of important bands such as the Last Shadow Puppets with Alex Turner of the Arctic Monkeys and the Rascals. In the last several years, the Liverpudlian has been on a solitary path, as the name of his recent release suggests. We spoke with him shortly before his long-awaited return to Athens, at "Arch Club", on Friday 5/17.

How has your tour been going so far?

The concerts so far are incredible. I'm excited to play by myself, so I'm very happy. I think people are relating and connecting with the songs on my new record and it's taking me to places I haven't seen in a long time. And Greece is one of those places.

Can you tell us a few words about how you wrote "One Man Band", your most chart-topping album to date?

The album was created in Liverpool. We worked on it with my cousin James Skelly, who used to be a member of The Coral. We went back home and that gave birth to the desire to make a completely straight album. Writing songs is what I do best, not thinking too much, just talking about my feelings, my worries and how I want to be better. I guess life in general is what "One Man Band" is all about, stomping on some rock'n'roll, surf music. We had a clear idea of what the album and its sound should be and we followed it to the end. This is also the reason why it is my favorite work of all that I have released so far. I feel very proud!

You started a great career by participating in various bands, such as Last Shadow Puppets. What motivated you to follow a more solitary path in recent years?

I've been doing solo stuff since I was 22 and I'm 38 now. I learned so much from the bands I was in, the Rascals and the Little Flames. Being on my own and free to work with whoever I want and do whatever I want – even if it sounds selfish – I think suits me best.

And what's the biggest lesson you've learned from playing as a "One Man Band"?

Not playing with a band is completely different for me. It's a huge challenge and not many could pull it off to be honest. It has made me improve my performance as a guitarist, as a singer and as a performer.

What is the most important experience from this journey?

It may sound cliche but I really had a lot of good times in my career. But I feel that who I am today as a person in life and on stage gives me new meaning and life. At all these smaller concerts where I meet new fans, I realize that the younger generation brings a whole different energy to it all. I feel that the phase I am in now is the happiest of my life. I feel more connected and hope to stay on this "path".

Are you excited to be back in Athens ("Arch Club", 5/17)?

Yes! I think I can't remember the last time I visited Greece because it's been so many years. I hope people come because I plan to give you the best night of your life.

What constitutes a successful live?

A great outfit, some "golden" dance moves and an audience! I need to feel like people want to be involved as much as I want to be. This is the only way we can go to the next level.

What are your plans for the future?

I'm trying to write something new and prepare a new album, but I'm having a hard time doing it right now. I don't want to stop the flow of things. I'm quite a simple person and I know what I like in life... Music. Maybe next year I'll be ready for a new release.

Is there another side project in the works?

We're not working on anything with Alex. [Turner], like Last Shadow Puppets. But I have this new little side project going on called The Evils and it's an instrumental surf idea. We'll see how this goes... [s.s. In the time between the interview and its publication, Kane along with Oscar Sholto Robertson and Dave Bardon released the E.P. "Miles Kane & The Evils".]

Miles Kane's albums in his own words

"Colour of the Trap" (2011)

"The beginning of the adventure, when I was still searching for who I am. This album opened the way for me. You can hear all the different sides of me in it."

"Don't Forget Who You Are" (2013)

"Probably one of the best songs I've ever written [inc. the title]. Something keeps me coming back to it. It's like coming home to the roots for me. Sometimes in life you can get sidetracked and forget who you are. This song defined me as an artist and as a person."

"Coup de Grace" (2018)

"An intense rock'n'roll, punk period! Coming out with such an aggressive album is not as easy as you think."

"Change the Show" (2022)

"My chance to show my love for Northern Soul and Motown...Growing up I listened to everything from Diana Ross and the Four Tops to whatever was on the radio."

Full Greek article

#miles kane #interview #Athens #14/05/2024 #I just Google translated this so don’t come for me #he truly doesn’t stop working does he #also where and when does he find time for all these interviews between all his travels like please rest up

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goth-mami-writer · 2 days

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💙Reserve💙~(pt.2)~

~(Au)Leon Kennedy × f!Reader drabble

~[Continued by request]

~{Find part 1 here} @exquisitelion

(Taking requests for new drabbles. Send me your ideas, and I'll tag you in the upload! 💙)

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

《~ A week later.

It was early that morning when Leon received a call regarding a bust in progress for a crime ring across town. Some of the individuals involved were suspects in your case. He couldn't leave you at the house alone safely, so every time he left for a call, you played a ride-along in the backseat.

Unfortunately, every time this happened, you had no good warning, and had to come with no preparation.

Leon approached the horde of police cruisers that were circled around an open freighter in the dockyard. Agents for the bureau were confiscating the contents endlessly in large bags and totes, and there were men knelt to the gravel being questioned in handcuffs. But they were silent, unwilling to offer any information regarding their business or identities.

The chief of police approached Leon's side, asking him quietly if you were with him.

“Yeah, she's asleep in the cruiser.” Leon replied.

“Bring her.” His boss said with his head tilted to the people being detained in front of them,

“She might recognize someone here. That'll help us with info since they wanna clam up.”

Leon sighed, turning to head back to the car where he had you locked inside. Or so he thought. He cocked his head over to see that outside of his back passenger window hung your clear platform heels still strapped on your feet as you undoubtedly slept. Your ankles were crossed as they fell over the side of the car, and he sighed, watching other officers on their walkies give the sight a curious glance.

You'd just gotten off work, so he knew you were exhausted but leaving you to sleep alone at the house didn't sit well with him. He wanted to scold you for opening the window when he wanted the doors locked but he popped his head inside to rouse you awake softly,

“Can I ask a favor?”

You smiled in your sleep hearing that and murmured sleepily in a tease to encourage him to choose his words better,

“In front of everyone?...Hot.”

You reached your ankle up to rest atop his shoulder lewdly since he was leaned over into the cab, and the thought of your legs around him made him jump with a jitter of excitement. It was also embarrassment since there were others close by. But your long legs were one of the features he found the sexiest about you.

He chuckled and carefully put your legs back inside before opening the door. His palm meeting your thigh even momentarily made your skin crawl and your eyes opened. He leaned in the car to help you up from the backseat and you grumbled tiredly when he became face to face with you,

“You owe me breakfast for this.”

“You'll get whatever you want.” He assured you in a grunt as he pulled you forward.

Leon held the small of your back when you came to your feet. He walked you across the gravel lot and it felt endearing to be so protected beside him. You chuckled somewhat evilly as you followed close by behind him and replied before meeting the chief,

“Don't tell me that.”

That night, you heard Leon come home and he went straight to his bedroom that doubled as his office. You hated that he kept his work in his bedroom because it made him prone to not sleeping well. He'd get up all hours of the night to write something on his whiteboard or find a case note within one of his files.

He was working himself to death.

You made a meal downstairs, knowing the noise and the smell of food wouldn't even bother him. You made a small plate and brought it upstairs when it became almost midnight. You knocked on his door, letting him know you were coming in, but he stayed silent.

He sat with his MacBook in his lap at the foot of his bed, crouched on the floor in front of his rolling whiteboard. You sighed seeing all the case documents pinned to the dry-erase board, tiny scribbles of probably late night epiphanies surrounding each thumbtack and photograph.

This was insanity. He was working twenty four hours a day at this point and there was no way even a salary could be this rewarding.

“You've not eaten.” You told him, trying to entice him to at least come downstairs but he shook his head as it rested in his fingertips, telling you he was fine.

After setting down his plate, you came to lay in his bed for the first time. You had only been in this room a few times in the week past but never for this long. He turned his head slightly, only letting his eyes move to see you now spread on his duvets. Your red silk night slip trailed up your thigh as your knee stayed propped up and he softly bit the inside of his cheek to the sight. He wondered now if you wanted to keep him company, but right now, he just couldn't afford it.

“Le-” You said softly from atop his bed, calling him by his affectionate nickname,

“-you've been staring at the same thing for hours.”

“I'm missing something.” He muttered exhaustedly with his eyes glued to the board,

“I feel like it's right in front of me.”

He stood up, wincing to the pain in his back from sitting on hardwood and he continued to stare at that board that you wanted to roll into the hall and let fall down the stairs. Nothing would get solved with him running himself into the ground and you wished he knew it too.

“Killing yourself in exchange for a breakthrough isn't going to make the mayor lick your boots any harder, yanno?” You mentioned, turning your eyes in his direction as you faced his ceiling.

“It's not….just the mayor-” Leon groaned, rubbing his shoulder as it ached from sitting so long.

You were surprised by that comment. He always mentioned making the mayor of the city happy as being his number one goal. It seemed different now and your interest was piqued. But you remained at ease on his mattress, feeling as he sat beside you with a huff.

You rolled onto your stomach, growing closer to him on the bed as you asked from your curiosity that had grown,

“Then what else are you looking for? Because you've got quite the monkey on your back for a cop not even close to retiring, not yet at the peak of his career and not graced with a woman at home to warm his bed at night.”

Leon looked over, wondering if you'd made your punchline yet and you finished with a sigh as he gave that look when he was becoming unenthused.

“You're on the brink of a burnout, Leon. Take a break- I don't care if we just eat ice cream in our pajamas and talk shit. You need it.”

Leon half smiled, not quite ready to give in, then lied on the bed opposite to you. You watched as he covered his tired eyes with the heels of his palms most likely from his exhaustion. Quietly, you rose from the mattress and turned off his overhead light. Your steps were quiet as you traveled back to the bed with an idea in easing his frustration.

He felt you crawl back into the bed, but suddenly and careful, you sat now on top of him in the dark. He called out your name but all too late as you were determined now to do something about the world of stress he carried.

“Tell me how I can help you. Since you won't tell me why you're so strung out on working to death.” You whispered from above him and he squirmed feeling your warmth and weight on top of him once again. Something he missed after he'd had it once.

You planted your palms down on either side of his torso, leaning towards him in a way that ignited his many feelings of finally indulging in what it might feel like to touch you. Something he still wasn't committed to doing before this work was done. But he couldn't ignore this anymore. The want for you now gnawed at him more than this workload.

He rose slightly, propping up on his elbows as he looked up to you in the dark. Your hand gently petted his chest and he felt the fire in his belly that had been burning since the moment he first saw you. He sat up straight, keeping his eyes up as finally he let his hands touch you more intentional and slow when he wrapped your legs around him.

Your ankles locked behind him, and your face softened realizing that he wasn't holding back now. He was letting go slowly. He wet his lips as he held your waist against him, making you wrap your arms around him too when your heart raced in the thought of actually kissing him.

He held your chin, taking the last breath he needed to convince himself to do something this crazy. Your lips met almost unsurely, he stopped only for another second before he finally let himself close his eyes. You kissed him gently at first until his hands shook as they cupped around your curves from behind, gripping the roundness of your ass when he felt it under your slip.

Softly, you moaned as he poured more of himself into the embrace and your fingers tangled into his bedhead. His mouth was soft like petals on the inside of a flower and your heart felt soft too at their touch. You breathed heavily and felt as his mouth moved low, kissing under your jaw then lower to your neck.

He rested his forehead in the center of your chest, not willing to move forward because he knew he'd have you all night…. and into the morning. The desire was too strong. His breath was panting from the labor his heart was performing to beat so quickly. You held him against you to steady him, feeling yourself begin to shake now in a sense of amazement.

“I'm doing this for you-” He said in the quiet between you and the silence only met with both of your racing pulses,

“Fuck the city. Fuck the mayor- I just don't wanna sleep…. knowing there's someone out there waiting to put you next on their list. And I'm not gonna stop until they're cuffed or dead. Whichever's fastest.”

Your brow furrowed from the sincerity he had and you tried not to let your lip quiver. In your line of work, you were always thrown away after use. One face to the next and here you sat in the lap of someone wanting to save you again and again. You half smiled, nodding in understanding that if in fact you were falling in love with him before this, you had in fact fallen face first now.

He thought you must've been stuck on what to say before you brought your hands up to his face. Your thumbs brushed his cheek as you said murmured and soft,

“You're gonna have a lot more to worry about if you keep talking to me like that. Like how you're ever gonna peel me offa you after you nab this guy.”

“I think I could convince you.” Leon mentioned with a growing smile to finally participate in the back and forth of your playful banter as he looked to your lips again, growing needful for another kiss.

“Yeah?-” You asked before obliging him with a flirtatious wink as you leaned in to kiss him,

“You'll need a warrant, pig.”

He chuckled amidst your hurried kiss now, making you hum happily in the enjoyment of feeling his smile against your lips. He felt calmer already. Your kiss and your heat to warm him was like a heal-all. As you felt him level back to reality, you knew you wanted this always and it felt burned into you like a brand now.

You wondered in that moment, unbeknownst to him, if maybe you had the chance to be the woman warming his bed, awaiting his retirement - riding through the peak of his career. Because tonight felt like a taste. And there was no amount of money that could buy it. Even if you worked in that club as hard as he did in this room. 》

#x reader #leon kennedy au #leon kennedy x reader #leon kennedy #leon scott kennedy #resident evil 4 #resident evil #reader insert

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httpiastri · 2 days

Text

PERFECTLY FINE – CHAPTER TWO (JEDDAH)

genre: angst, fluff, comfort, etc.

word count: 6k

warnings: hmmm nothing except heartbreak in several scenes lol

author's note: guys im really sorry but im pretty mean to paul here..... like it got to the point where i rewatched jeddah videos of him and physically felt ill because i was mad at him LMAO 😭 but we'll get through this together!! this was supposed to include some other scenes but it was long enough as it was sooo 😶 summary for this chapter ig is yn feels very torn between her boys, and so do i. hope everyone has a good week (it's finally race week again aaaaa) !! 💗

also i think the next chapter might be shorter because i just wanna get it out already and i don't have a lot to write about in it hehe, fingers crossed that i can finish it soon<3

(alsoooo i proofread this a few days ago but i just cant find the energy or time to do it rn, praying that there are no big issues…. if there are, i would be so thankful if you could send me an ask or message etc 🙏)

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"i still can't believe i missed out on the top ten again. and by just three hundredths, even..."

pepe shakes his head as you both make your way out of the campos truck, dragging a frustrated hand through his hair before pulling on his red bull cap. you can't help but chuckle – he's been like this all day, and all evening yesterday. you understand it, though; finishing just outside the reverse grid pole once again must feel frustrating.

not that you can relate. with a much better qualifying session yesterday in your second-ever qualifying in formula 2, you managed to snatch an eight-place finish. in other words, you will be starting third in today's sprint race, and just the thought of the probability of getting some big points sends tingles through your entire body.

"you'll get it next time," you say with a pat on your friend's back. "i mean, look at ollie. from p-nowhere last week to pole yesterday. that can be you next time around."

you've just come out of your morning meeting – morning meaning starting at ten and ending around noon – and now you're finally getting some lunch in the red bull hospitality. even during a race weekend like this, with mostly evening and night sessions, you still managed to oversleep and almost didn't make it in time for your meeting. you didn't get to have any breakfast, you had to run all the way from the shuttle to the truck, and you even forgot one of your racing boots as well as your phone in your hotel room. thankfully, you'll still have time to go back to the hotel before the sprint race, but walking around without your phone feels like being naked.

"speaking of ollie," pepe starts as you turn left and head into the formula one paddock. "are things between you two... alright?"

your eyebrows furrow together at the pause in the middle of his sentence. "why wouldn't they be?"

"well, i..." he stops again, and it makes you want to shake him. "i heard something. but it doesn't matter."

"who are you to decide that it doesn't matter?" you scoff. "tell me."

pepe sighs – he knows fighting you over this is a losing battle. you're way too stubborn to let go of this. "i heard that you were having issues. that you aren't happy, or something along those lines..."

you stop in your tracks, brain working in overdrive to comprehend what your friend is telling you. not happy with ollie? why would you not be happy with him? "who told you this?"

pepe stops in front of you. "i heard it from kimi, who heard it from... paul."

"what?" your eyes squeeze shut as your hands interlace on top of your head. "why would kimi come to you? instead of asking ollie himself?"

"you know kimi," pepe starts instantly. "he's young and gullible. i think he wanted to go for the see-if-the-best-friend-knows-anything strategy instead of asking ollie straight out." his hands squeeze your shoulders softly and you look up at him, a hint of a pout on your lips. "i guess he was scared that ollie would get mad at him or something."

"it's just-" you sigh. "it doesn't make any sense, does it?" pepe is just about to say something more when you cut him off with a dismissive swat of your hand in the air, stepping away from him and continuing your walk down the paddock. "let's just forget about it. i need lunch."

pepe stands frozen for a few moments before hurrying up to you again. he can't quite read your mood – you look unbothered, but he can't help but notice the slight touch of redness of your ears and the way your eyes seemingly can't focus on one thing for long enough. there's no way you can be over it already.

with pepe shutting up for a little while for the first time ever, you're left all alone with your thoughts as you continue your stroll. you know you should've asked for more information; you should've asked for details, for exactly what kimi said and how he worded it. you probably should also ask kimi himself for what paul told him. but right now, it's like a shadow is clouding your vision.

how dare paul say something like that? he must've known that the rumors he made up would spread like wildfire, as they always do in the formula paddocks. the snowball effect can make something tiny become huge, which is why you're always cautious about rumors. but apparently, paul doesn't care about that.

you're far too enraged to think even straight, and that's why it takes pepe pulling your arm to make you stop walking. you frown – to be fair, your frown hasn't left since it appeared a few minutes ago – but when you realize what it is that he's pointing at, both your frown and your jaw drop.

there's a swarm of journalists and fans following a ferrari driver down the road in front of you, which isn't all that uncommon. both charles and carlos are always incredibly popular. but what blows your mind is the fact that when you finally catch a glimpse of the driver's face, it's neither of the team's main drivers.

it's ollie.

"ollie! mate!" pepe yells, his arm waving erratically over his head. it takes a moment for the brit to find the owner of the voice, but he's tall enough to look over everyone else, and he's soon making his way over to you both. "i know you're popular, but this all seems a little excessive, don't you think?"

"i don't know what happened, as soon as the news came out..." ollie lets out a chuckle before turning to you, eyebrows raised at your expression. "i've called you like a hundred times, what have you been up to?"

"i left my phone at the hotel-" you begin but cut yourself off and shake your head. "wait, what news?"

when ollie starts speaking, time slows down. the entire world around you goes dark, the only thing you can hear being ollie's explanation of how carlos needs surgery and the call he got as he was having lunch. you feel lightheaded, almost like you could faint, when he speaks his final words. "...and they said i will be the one to replace him. i'm driving the formula one grand prix tomorrow."

you don't waste any time before throwing yourself into his arms, a loud squeal passing through your lips. "are you kidding me?" you exclaim, hugging him even tighter. "this is incredible, ollie! oh my god, i..."

"i can't really believe it myself, to be honest," ollie says, shaking his head as you part from the hug. pepe slaps his shoulder, congratulating his friend. "i would love to stay and chat, but i need to be in the car for the last practice, and i have a lot to get done-"

"go! go!" you usher, softly shoving him away back towards the journalists and fans who are still waiting just a few meters away. "we will talk later, okay?"

"of course."

and then you watch him leave – your boyfriend, the soon-to-be formula one driver – with a much lighter heart. this definitely helps you forget about all of the things regarding paul.

at least for a little while.

but of course, pepe stops your train of thought. "does that mean i get the reverse grid pole?"

you've never ever been to the ferrari garage before, so as you stand in the middle of it, you have no idea where to go or what to do; this is completely new territory. thankfully, you got a vip-pass from ollie before he ran off for his pre-practice duties, so at least you have the privilege of looking like a fool inside of the garage instead of right outside the doors.

a fool dressed in a red bull race suit, even. great.

you were in the middle of preparations for your sprint race when ollie texted you, and since you still had some time before the race started, you made it over to the other side of the paddock as quickly as you could. but unfortunately, that meant that you didn't have time to change your outfit into something more discreet.

"you don't look like you belong here, miss," a voice rumbles from behind you. your heart stops in your chest, and you're ready to improvise an excuse or find an escape route when you turn around – but luckily, you're met with chris, ollie's manager, standing there.

"thank god you're here," you say, letting out a sigh of relief. "do you happen to know where ollie is?"

"he's borrowing carlos's room. it's right down the hall and to the left."

you quickly thank him, turning again and making your way down said hallway. the room is easy to find, the two big, red fives on the door sticking out among the white walls. you're glad to find it unlocked, but you still knock a few times before sticking your head inside.

"sweetheart? can i come in?"

ollie is sitting on a massaging table, elbows on top of his legs and head resting in his hands. his eyes are stuck on the floor, but you take his silence as a yes.

"i got your text," you say, tiptoeing inside and shutting the door behind you, careful to not make any loud sounds to scare him. "how are you doing?"

when he still doesn't answer, your heat rate picks up. is something really wrong?

you make your way over to him, hands finding his cheeks and softly tilting him up to look at you – and you swear you've never seen him look this wrecked before.

not after his worst crashes, not when he lost the rookie championship last year. once again, you've entered completely new territory, and your heart breaks at the sight of him.

"ollie, talk to me," you plead, biting back the pout that starts to form on your lips. it's so painful to look into his eyes, but you can't back down. not now, not when he needs you this much.

"i'm-" his voice cracks but he shakes his head, clearing his throat. "i'm so nervous, i don't know what to do."

it's like he's oozing anxiety, and his heavy sigh is like a stab in your chest. ollie, your usually so calm and collected boyfriend, is probably going crazy over this – you know him well enough by now to understand that he's definitely freaking out even more on the inside than what he shows or tells. "i get that. one hundred percent. but," your thumbs begin to stroke over the skin of his cheeks, along his jaw, and then finally across his eyebrows, to which his eyes flutter closed. "this is your dream. it's been your dream since forever, and now you finally have the chance."

ollie sighs, but nods. you're getting to him.

"and it's not just any car, it's a ferrari. do you realize how cool that is? do you realize how many people would kill for an opportunity like this?" you smile at the sight of him with his eyes still shut, eyelashes resting atop his cheeks, messy fringe covering his forehead. even like this, at his most stressed state, he's completely gorgeous. "you would've killed for an opportunity like this just 24 hours ago."

"but what if i ruin it?" his voice is barely above a whisper when he speaks, shoulders slumping forward. "what if i go out there and i'm shit, and then they realize what a big mistake they've done by even putting me in the academy? what if-"

"it won't happen." his eyelids slowly open and he looks up at you, seemingly not even the slightest upset that you cut him off. "you're too good to do that. you'll get in that car and it will feel like your second home, just like it always does."

finally, a small smile makes its way onto his lips. it's only been a few minutes since you came in, but he seems much more relaxed now, leaning into your touch completely. "i'll try my best to make you proud."

you pout. "i'll be proud even if you end up with a slower lap than your pole lap from yesterday."

a laugh bubbles from his chest and he stands up from the table, opening his arms wide and pulling you in for a tight hug. his heart is still beating louder than a drum in his chest when your ear is pressed up against it, and you're almost worried it will jump out any second. but his breaths are much more controlled now, and his mind seems much lighter.

he presses a long kiss to the crown of your head, arms squeezing you tight. "i really need to go, because the sprint starts in..." you shoot a quick glance to the clock on the wall. "forty-five minutes. my team is going to kill me. but go out there and show them, baby."

and that's exactly what he did.

though, that's not the only thing you were correct about; your team was indeed furious when you finally made it back to the campos garage. your main engineer, who was supposed to help you get strapped in and fix all of the last details with the car over fifteen minutes ago, was apparently so angry he left you to do everything yourself. it's not that you didn't know about your schedule; you just needed to be there for ollie before his big debut.

everything works out in the end, at least according to you, and you're soon settled in your car on the grid, waiting to go on your formation lap. however, you've barely gotten as much as a glance from anyone on your team. you can't help but press the button to activate your radio. "i'm really sorry, guys. i just... had to do something."

"hope it was worth it." the voice of one of your engineers booms through your earpieces instantly, the sternness in his tone sending a shiver down your spine. "we got a huge fine because you were so late to get into the car, so..."

another of your engineers speaks up. "let's focus on the race instead now. no need to fight."

maybe it was because you got to visit ollie right before the race, or maybe it was just starting third and having a good car. either way, the sprint race was one of your best races in a long time. not only did you pass richard verschoor starting one place ahead of you into turn one; you also overtook paul, who started from pole, before the end of the first lap and got to lead your first laps in formula two ever.

dennis came around to steal the lead from you, but just landing yourself a spot on the podium was enough for you to celebrate. when you scored a second-place finish where the guy in first place was one of your former academy members, it didn't really matter that the guy on the third step of the podium was your ex-boyfriend.

going through all media duties is always exhausting, but it's usually never as dreadful as it is today. sitting in that press conference, knowing that your boyfriend is starting his first ever formula one qualifying in just a few moments. you have to literally bite your tongue not to pull a valtteri bottas and ask the journalists how q1 is going.

when you're this busy, you don't really have any time to think about paul's rumors. though, something about it continues to loom in the back of your mind all evening. especially when he speaks in the press conference, despite how hard you try to not even look at him, and especially when he's asked about ollie.

as the press conference finally comes to an end, you're not the only one who wants to hurry out of there to watch the rest of the qualifying session. you and the rest of the podium trio find a big screen that's showcasing the session, and you all insist that you should stay and watch, despite the f2 staff members' continuous attempts to squeeze the last drops of content from you.

they keep stuffing their phones and cameras in your face, throwing all kinds of questions about ollie your way, but you refuse to budge. you won't let them ruin this moment for you.

you're sure they've gotten quite a lot of embarrassing pictures of you teary-eyed while admiring your boyfriend's results, though.

you follow the timing board like a hawk, but something breaks you out of your trance. "who are you watching?" your head snaps to the direction of the voice – the f2 instagram admin with her phone pointed to paul.

as if you all haven't been watching and chatting about ollie for the last ten minutes.

you try not to, you really do, but you can't help but roll your eyes at the sight of paul. he's trying to look all innocent, hugging his trophy to his chest as his big, blue eyes blink up at the screen in the distance. a year ago, you would've just thought he was adorable – but today, this frustrates you more than anything. "i'm watching my dear friend ollie," he starts, eyes finding the camera so easily.

dear friend, huh? a dear friend is someone you spread rumors about?

the next time he speaks up, you have to physically bite your tongue to not yell at him. "the guy who gave me one position on tomorrow's grid."

you turn your head away in pure disgust. how could he say something like that? is that the only thing he cares about, places in his starting grid for tomorrow's feature race? is he serious?

you want to escape, to just storm off and never speak to him again. but instead, you force yourself to take a deep breath and focus back on the thing you're here for. ollie is doing so well; when q2 ends and he has driven his last lap, he misses out on q3 by just over a hundredth of a second. he almost even manages to knock out the legendary lewis hamilton, his fellow countryman whom he's been following for as long as he can remember, in his first-ever qualifying session.

you've never been prouder.

"honestly, as long as i can just bring the car home without wrecking it completely, i'm satisfied."

you give ollie's hand a soft squeeze at his words, fingers intertwining as your hands rest on top of the hotel cafeteria table. your other hand lifts your sandwich to your mouth and you take a bite, chewing it down quickly before giving him a nod.

you know his statement is meant as a joke, but you know it's just as much of a truth as a lie. driving an actual ferrari f1 car is his biggest dream, and even just making an alright race probably is enough to make him happy. there's no pressure on him, no one is expecting him to perform a miracle or even score some points.

but at the same time, you know he would never be satisfied with himself if he "just" brought it home safely. ollie isn't like that; he's way too stubborn, too determined, too much of a sore loser. it's what makes him. no matter what he says, there's always going to be something inside of him telling him that he needs to do better.

"i think you'll score your first points today," you tell him with a shrug. "i can feel it."

"don't say that, we don't know anything yet."

a shake of your head in combination with that smile of yours is enough to make some hope spark in him. "well, you have the car for it," you start. "and you have the skills."

ollie stays silent, letting the distant chatter of the other hotel guests having their breakfast fill the air. the cafeteria is emptying out by now, but new faces have been dropping in for a long time now, most of them walking by to give ollie a pat on his shoulder or a quick "good luck, mate".

you put down the last of your sandwich, leaving it behind with the fruit rinds and other scraps on your plate. "but don't think too much," you hum, eyes softening as they land on his. he's trying to contain his worries and anxiety as much as he can, but the slight tilt of his eyebrows and the way his gaze tends to dart away every once in a while tells a different story. "it's just driving. it's just what you always do, no problem."

you hold your glass of orange juice up to him and he gets the hint, clinging his own glass to yours before downing the last of its contents.

you're just about to speak up again with new words of affection, but an icy feeling spreads through your body at the sight of paul entering the cafeteria. the feeling soon turns into real nausea, and you can't even remember what you were supposed to say when you realize that he's making his way towards the two of you.

you want nothing more than to stay and keep encouraging ollie, but you can't take it at this moment. you stand up from your seat, giving ollie's fingers one last squeeze. "i forgot that i have a meeting soon," you make up. "so i need to go. i'll come see you before the race, okay?"

he doesn't even get to say bye before you've stormed off.

unfortunately, you have to pass paul in order to make it to the exit, but you make no effort to even recognize that he exists. you keep your gaze straight ahead.

karl, paul's physio, does a quick greeting from you though – as well as a confused look at the candle pressed into a pastry in one of the hotel's yogurt bowls – but then, you're off to hide in your hotel room until you're needed at the track for race preparations.

of course paul had to come by and ruin everything yet again.

with a good race from yesterday in the bag, you thought you could keep the momentum into today. however, that didn't turn out to be the case.

when a trident driver hit you from behind in the first lap, you lost a few positions instantly and after that, it was a bit too tough to recover. you had opportunities for overtakes, and the car was good enough to go through with them, but you never could. you kept slipping up, making rookie mistakes, and falling back even further. it even got to the point where your team came on the radio to remind you to focus on the road.

but no matter how hard you tried, it wouldn't work. the entire race, something else clouded your mind.

or, more specifically, someone.

every time you even caught a glimpse of paul's silver car, it was like something in your mind short-circuited. the memory of your conversation with pepe, the thought about paul running around and spreading rumors about you in the paddock… you couldn't push the thoughts, or the anger, away.

other times, back in the day, you were always good at turning your anger into something positive for your races. if you were upset with your father for something he said about red bull or the junior program, you went out there and proved him wrong. if you heard that another driver had complained about how you just got your seat because you were a girl, you made sure to dominate the race.

your stubbornness was always your biggest strength. but today, it was like your tank had run out. as much as you wanted to completely crush paul, you didn't have the capability.

at least paul didn't have that good of a race, either.

the second you get out of your car, you storm off towards your garage. you know you'll probably get a lot of shit for your performance your entire debrief, but if you can at least get over with it sooner, then you can forget about it and refocus on the next race weekend. plus, you really want to catch ollie before he's away for his f1 debut.

thankfully, you're not the only one getting criticized during the debrief; the team is not very happy with pepe's start, nor his DNF. after they've gone on and on about how costly this weekend has been for the team for an hour, you're finally released, but not without one last reminder to "think about what you're doing here and whose time you're wasting".

it's natural to lose all energy and confidence after a race like this. but the second you're back in ollie's arms, it's like the world around you just disappears. he's always been the best at keeping you grounded.

you've probably never hugged him this tightly before, but you can't help it. the second your arms wrap around his neck, you pour everything you have into the embrace.

he looks so good, so handsome and professional dressed up in his ferrari race suit. not just his prema suit with the ferrari logo on it, but an actual ferrari outfit. he looks like a real f1 driver – and the realization that he indeed is a formula one driver now brings tears to your eyes.

"hey," he says around a chuckle. "don't cry on me, woman."

"i won't..." you reach up to wipe away a drop from the corner of your eye as you pull away slightly from his embrace, shaking your head. "i won't. i'm just so proud of you."

"why are you so sappy?" the scene in front of him brings a huge grin to ollie's lips – he finds you equal parts adorable and hilarious. "i'm just going out there to drive a car. no biggie."

"no biggie," you repeat with a scoff, dabbing your other eye quickly before doing your best to blink down your other tears. earlier today, you were the one saying all of this was no problem. and yet, now he is the one who has to convince you of it. "right. it's just your passion, the thing you love. but i'm still proud."

an engineer catches ollie's attention above your head, sending him a certain look that has your boyfriend nodding before giving you one last squeeze. "i think i should-"

"of course, go," you usher him, retracting from his arms. "i'll be here after, no matter what happens." he nods, and he's about to leave when you speak up one last time. "have fun, okay?"

"always."

who would've imagined that ollie would not only score points in his first ever f1 race, but also win driver of the day, have the most overtakes, and score a seventh place as the second best british driver of the race?

well, you had imagined everything from him coming last to winning the race by horse lengths. and yet, this was all so unexpected. if someone had told you on wednesday that ollie would score six f1 points three days later, you would've laughed in their face. but now, it feels like it's been a long time coming.

you weren't allowed to stay in the ferrari garage for the actual race – it would've been a pr nightmare for everyone involved – so your nerves were all over the place since you weren't able to hear ollie's radio messages, info about the strategies, and so on. at least you get to wait right outside the garage with jamie, chris and his dad david, being the first to congratulate him after such a good debut race.

he looks completely worn out when he finally walks out through the door, but you can almost feel the pride and happiness radiating from him. his sweaty hair rests messily on top of his head, and an ice vest is draped over his body already to cool him down from the insane heat. and, most importantly, the smile on his lips is bigger than it's been all week.

ollie looks like he doesn't ever want to let go of his dad's hug, his face nuzzled in the crook of david's neck for a long time. you can only guess what things the father is whispering in his son's ear, but when the result is ollie pulling him even closer, your heart expands in your chest.

when they part, it's jamie's and chris's times to congratulate the point-scorer, and when he pulls away from his manager's arms, his eyes land on you. you're pulled into his embrace in just a second, a giggle slipping past your lips when he lifts you up into the air and spins you both around. his strong grip around you never eases, not when he sets you down on your feet again and not when he starts speaking.

"i knew it would be hard, but..." he shakes his head, a sweaty fringe brushing against the side of your head. "my entire body is ruined. like, it doesn't hurt because i have so much adrenaline, but i'm going to be in so much pain later. my neck and my shoulders and-"

another one of your waves of laughter cut off his ramblings, and he joins in once he realizes what he's been doing. when you finally pull apart slightly and your hands come up to cup his cheeks, you're just staring into his eyes for what feels like forever.

your boy, the f1 driver.

"this is from your mum," you whisper to him, leaning in to kiss his cheek. "and this is from your sister." a kiss to his other cheek. "and... this is from me."

ollie has to crouch down slightly because even when you get onto your tippy toes, you can't reach all the way up to his forehead. but once you press your lips against his skin, all of the hidden tension in his eyebrows disappears. he's like putty under your touch.

"i'm so proud."

ollie's groans are muffled by the pillow his face is pressed into, head twitching when your thumbs press into some tense areas of his neck. you shush him jokingly, like a mother comforting a crying baby, but your movements never halt.

ever since he got out of that car, he's been complaining about how sore he is. especially his neck and shoulders, and all of the muscles that were most affected by the g forces. you don't blame him, however – he's got a free pass for pretty much everything for the next week, you think – but you decided to be a nice girlfriend and help him out. the strings of whines and swearwords he keeps letting out don't seem to be stopping anytime soon, though.

the lotion on your hands is enough for you to be able to glide your fingers across his upper back, along his shoulder blades, all over his freckled skin. as you're straddling his lower back, you can reach pretty much all angles of his upper body, and the knots in his muscles seem to be disappearing despite how painful your massage seems to be.

eventually, ollie tilts his head to the side, his blushed cheeks decorated with lines from the pillow underneath him. his slight pout is on full display and his tired eyes flutter closed as he speaks. "hey, y/n?"

"yes, ollie?" you reply, your thumb pressing into one especially stubborn knot in his right shoulder. ollie stays quiet for a few moments and takes a deep breath, almost as if he's gathering courage for something.

"you know that i love you right?"

the world around you stops.

everything freezes.

he loves me?

your breath hitches in your throat at the words. it's the first time he's ever said them, and though it's not the most uncommon thing for someone to tell their girlfriend of over six months, they make your head spin.

a mishmash of thoughts clouds your mind. they won't shut up for even a second. but the loudest thought is the only one you shouldn't have; it's about the only person you can't be thinking about right now.

the way that your mind instantly wanders off to paul is frankly embarrassing, but you can't help it. he's the first boy you've ever loved, the first person you've ever uttered those three words to. the only one. and no matter how badly you wish you could just forget about that and move on, he's still a part of you. he's your only real experience of love.

and this just isn't the same.

you want to say it back to ollie, you truly do. but at the same time, you don't want to say it if it isn't true – it's not fair to him.

ollie senses that something is up. your signs aren't exactly subtle, anyway; your movements have stopped completely and he can't even hear you breathing anymore. "hey, i'm sorry-"

"don't apologize," you interject instantly, shaking your head as you start to climb off his body. "you did nothing wrong. i'm the one who's sorry."

"stop that, you shouldn't be." he turns around, staring up at you with those big, brown eyes of his. "i don't expect you to say it back if you don't want to. i just..." he lets out a low sigh. "i wanted you to know, i guess."

you sit still for a few moments, before leaning down to place a kiss on his rosy cheek. "thank you." another pause. "it means a lot, you know?"

"well, you mean a lot to me."

and he does to you, too.

but is that enough?

ollie loves me.

he actually loves me.

he told me today after the race, and... i didn't say anything. i just sat there like a complete moron.

i couldn't say it back. i just don't feel what i felt for paul yet.

what's wrong with me?

why don't i race like i used to? why can't i control my emotions? was the sprint race yesterday just luck? did i really deserve that podium?

why does paul still affect me this much? why is he always there in my thoughts – when i'm racing, when i'm with ollie, when i try to sleep...

i have a perfect boyfriend and a great car, so why do i feel like everything is falling apart?

yourusername just posted!

yourusername p2 in the sprint 🥈 big thanks to the team for the hard work!! and i got to witness the rb p1-2 up close, congrats redbullracing 💙 also check slide 4 for an appearance from me and my former family on f1tv <3

show all 96 comments

user y/n and the prema staff during the driver's parade 😭 they're so cute

→ user her referring to them as her family, byeeee

‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎

user why is no one talking about the last slide???

→ user because i can't talk while i'm crying, sorry

‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎

user great job this weekend y/n !!! thank you for signing my cap 🥺

‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎

user loved to see her celebrate the red bull double podium even after a hard feature race ❤️

→ user she had to balance out the post with that max and checo pic 😭 would've been just ollie & prema otherwise

‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎

user ollie looks like a baby in the second pic 🥲

→ user just a little boy playing with his toy cars

→ yourusername i had to hold his little teddy bear during the race to make sure it wouldn't get dirty

→ user stopppp you're so real for sharing that

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mar3ggiata · 3 days

Text

professional help, c9. Reign of Terror.

simon riley x original character.

trigger warnings: violence, sexual assault, mentions of rape, trauma, sexual themes, swearing, use of alcohol and drugs.

song to listen to when reading this: Cool about it, boygenious

abstract: listen, I don't even want to hear it. yes, it's Simon. I told you already, I'm gathering intel during this part. don't think too hard about it, this doesn't mean anything. and yes, I think she was telling the truth. I follow my instincts and they only failed me once or twice…

When the routine settled back in, she felt like the Al-Jareena mission was a thing of the past. A week had gone by, she had no news about the mission. Or Arash. She was snapping her fingers following the rhythm of the music. 'And one, two, balancé!' She watched as the girls rehearsed in front of her, moving in pairs, one from each side of the room. They had been going on and on for an hour, the poor girls were exhausted. 'Okay, from here, piquè', she had been demonstrating everything, trying to remember her notes and the changes she had to make to the original choreography. Her blue leotard was sticking on her skin, she could feel sweat dripping down her back and in between her breasts. Her bun was starting to come untied, she kept fixing some shorter hair behind her ears. 'I don't want to see those stiff hands Jenny, please', she resumed, 'piquè, finish on your right leg. Sam and Gemma, you're going to go stage left with two saut de basque'. She stopped talking to demonstrate the jump, which was quite difficult, she had to admit. 'You finish on relevè, arms in fifth position, then repeat to the other side'. She was too old for all this activity, (Jude is delusional, she's 26). She had to catch her breath without letting the girls know she was getting tired. 'Then, Kyla, Cassie and Luna, same thing to the right as soon as the first two finish jumping, same thing to the left with group three.' She instructed and approached the mirrors in the front of the room. 'Let's see it, please'.

She packed her bag while the girls said bye to her. God, did she love being called 'Miss Alba'. She put on sweats, lifting them up over her legs without bothering to remove the pink tights she hated so much. She preferred black ones, they concealed stretch marks, cellulite… See, if the school was hers, she would let her ballerinas pick the colour they wanted. She could see during the lessons some of them were self conscious about their bodies, like she had been for years when she was younger. The way they looked at each other in the mirrors, like they were comparing themselves to the others. Some were thinner, some had bigger bums, bigger breasts, some had more muscle, some you could see their whole ribcage sticking out. School policy, black leotard and pink thighs. They were too young. But still, even Alba herself had some serious issues with her figure, demonstrating in front of everyone was challenging and took a tool on her mental health sometimes. She knew she was fit, don't get me wrong, she had worked fucking hard for years to get to where she was. Strong, lean quads, a good set of abs. She had followed every diet in the world, she learned so much about what foods not to eat, how to get the perfect body… How to be slim and toned and have fat in the right places. She gained back weight after the 'bad year' when she didn't work and decided she was not gonna feed herself anymore. Cooking was just too much back then, she spent hours going on walks with headphones in, on the verge of passing out. She was better now, she only had those thoughts every now and then. They were under control, she was healthy. Let me tell you, her legs, arms, her hips, a fucking work of art. Still, being watched by those young girls who probably spent way too much worrying about their weight and having to be the representation of perfection was daunting. Keep your abs thigh, your foot straight, your hips aligned. Hide how painful it is, hide the fact your calf is cramping and you're losing balance. A game of pretend.

When she got to work the next day, she was surprised to see a special someone waiting for her beside her door. No fucking way. She stopped in her tracks when he saw him, bag hanging from her shoulder, boots clicking on the floor. What are you doing here, how do you know this is my office? Did you ask around? Are you following me? She approached him and he took a step towards her. He had a blue jacket on, no skull mask today, simple black one. She could finally see his hair colour, dirty blonde. He needed a trim. 'Can I help you?' she said. Well well well. 'Not really' he replied, crossing his arms against his chest. He was tall, he was scarily tall. She had to tilt her head to look at him. That position made his arms look even bigger. She no problem admitting how good looking he was. 'Am I in trouble?' she asked tilting her head to the side. His mask moved slightly, but his eyes didn't exactly show a particular emotion. Was he smiling or about to punch her, she didn't know. She had always loved risks. 'You're not' he answered. He wasn't in the mood for jokes maybe. Noted.

She nodded and took a step towards the office door unlocking it and getting in, supposing he would follow. Being in there made her feel slightly more secure. It was a place where she normally had some authority. Not with him she didn't. He closed the door behind him as she put her bag on the desk. The office had two big windows which let in few shy rays of sunshine. She had a couch with a few pillows for the patients and a chair for her. She looked at him and indicated the couch, as to say 'sit'. He really didn't want to. He felt like a patient. He went to therapy before, he just didn't want to be her patient. He stood there in the middle of the room watching Jude take off her coat and hang it on the chair. She wore jeans today. Tight jeans and a jumper. He could see her boots clearer now, they were shiny and the tip of the shoe was round. They looked from the 80's. She had cream coloured socks. She looked younger dressed like that. She looked less professional and more… a civilian, a normal 23 year old girl. He had settled that was her age. Her hair loose, her casual outfit, she looked ready for a walk in the park. He wondered if she walked in the park with her dog. She looked like she had a normal job, like waitressing or maybe she was a painter or a student. She looked like she could go to the movies dressed like that, or play bowling. She looked like she was about to sit down, take her shoes off, get comfortable and tell him about her day, talk about nothing for hours without ever boring him.

She finally spoke, sitting down in her leather chair. 'Why are you here?' she asked, her hands on her thighs. 'You can sit if you want', she added. He still wouldn't move. 'I wanted to apologise for asking about last year, I realised it might be a sensitive topic'. His voice was low and soothing, his British accent heavy on every word. She didn't expect that. That was very considerate of him, the 6 foot soldier standing in the middle of her office like the representation of death that comes knocking at your door. What a strange thing to say man, did you hear stories? Did you hear your friends say I faked it? Cause I know they're saying it. 'Thanks', she said softly, a tone she had never used with him. She tried not to get triggered by his words, not to let her mind wonder back to the event he was referring to. She had to fight hard to not let her brain spiral, a fight against herself. She always seemed to lose. 'It's just something really bad, I don't like to think about it more than I already do', she explained. His eyes were fixated on her like she was a wild animal about to go extinct. He nodded and silence filled the room.

'How did the mission go?' She asked even if she already knew the answer. She was just making conversation. He didn't want to stay too much. He thought about seeing her, he thought about talking to her again and now that she was there, now that he purposely went to her office to talk, he wanted to run. 'Good. Good, yeah, thanks to you, actually'. He finally sat down. That was what patients saw then. The desk behind her, the windows and her, on the leather chair. He tried to imagine her during sessions. Her back straight, compassionate eyes, maybe a notebook on her lap. The window on her right illuminated only half of her face. Making her half an angel. She wasn't commenting on his answer, she squinted her eyes. 'Are you saying I was right and you were wrong?' she asked. Cheeky. She wasn't smiling, cause she knew she was right all along. 'I'm saying you got lucky.' She made him weak, his mouth was dry. 'So what are you gonna do next? I might get lucky again', she said. Could he tell her? She already knew so much. He decided he could share, vague answers only. 'We find where they took Khorram, we'll probably find Arash as well. We leave in a week.' She kept biting her lower lip, not in a provocative way. She was thinking. 'What did he do exactly? He's the one with that snake flag right?' she asked. She was informed. She had seen the flag she was referring to on the news and on social media. It was a green flag with a snake print, with red eyes. A symbol. 'The viper, yes. We've been following him for some time. Human trafficking, mainly.' Her expression was of disgust. 'He formed an army, he controls the main cities, he lets people starve, public executions…' he decided to stop there. She nodded, she got the gist. 'Makes sense…' she murmured. 'Reign of Terror kinda thing.' There was silence again between them.

'Reign…' he felt bad that he didn't know what she was talking about. He didn't have a degree. Jude had probably 4 or 5. But no, he wasn't that cultured. It made him feel small. Guns and war, he was the best. It was the second time he didn't know what she was talking about, she said something about a Little King or some shit. (It was the Little Price, the book). 'French Revolution, doesn't matter', she cut him off. Don't make me feel stupid Jude. He got up saying he better be going, she did too, she said 'of course'. She offered him her hand to shake. You're Italian, he decided. The hand gestures, the physical touch. Yes, to Simon shaking your hand twice was considered physical touch. She wasn't British, she was too polite and beautiful for it. How do you speak English so well then. What made you come here? What's your real name something Italian like Julia or Sarah? He reached for her hand, glad he was wearing gloves this time so he couldn't feel her skin. Less of her to think about. She looked at him, then looked down to their hands, still holding it. Her soft, caramel skin, with those dainty black nails against his skeleton printed gloves. She turned his hand so she could see the skeleton print and smiled, with her head tilted down. A smirk. She had dimples. Her eyelashes were almost touching her eyebrows. He let go of her hand and turned around, regretting he didn't wear his other mask. Would have hidden the fact that he was blushing.

notes: I was listening to 'cool about it' by boygenius when writing this. also, writing ballet is fucking hard… how do I describe the pain. also also, Jude's shoes are those chunky coquette Mary Jane shoes that you wear with socks.

notes: Julia and Sarah are not correct spellings of Italian names, more on the American side. makes sense Simon doesn't know how to spell the Italian versions. (they are Giulia and Sara). How are you guys doing, you all good? You guessed it I'm still taking my exams and working and being clinically insane and unbelievably tired.

love, mare.

taglist:

@ummmmmwat @ghostlythots @sweetfemmefatal @natxpat @chavarriakeren647 @ravenmoore14 @farther-than-pleiades @internallyscreamings @hwromi @atoxicrat @cuti3maddi3 @deafeningkittenblaze @its-celeste @serene-hills @lexidoll12 @poohkie90 @lunatiquess

@warmedbythebody @katzykat @iristhemuse @azkza @keiraslayz @abbyandermine @jennyjencakes @dest-nai @corset-briefs @nutze-kekse @ilytsukiw @b3anspr0ut

@pondsblog @missyouzoe @fallenkitten @bigauthorrascalturkey @bethtay @angelynn-nicole @starluv @stargirlisworld @giyuuslittleslut @impossiblecupcakelight

@rkrivees-blog @ghosts-hoe @kam1snotverysmart @gauky76 @freyjaaasstuff @spicyspicyliving @scottpilgrimvsmyfists @courtney0-0 @shinchanboi @darling006 @my-therapist-hates-me

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hanniedream · 10 hours

Note

Hiiiii I just realized your request are open, so I like to request Hoshi + “can you stay here? please?” I just imagine him being pretty clingy but u want to go after a little fight, just whit a super cute ending because clingy hoshi is sooooo cute

( also is okey if you don’t feel it, don’t fell forced to write it, I hope you have a great day/night 💕✨)

sorry this took forever and i know this isn't exactly accurate to the request but hopefully you'll still enjoy it!

in hindsight, soonyoung probably shouldn't have ranted to you about the disagreement he had with his group mates. or at least, he should've known better than to expect you to take his side. you've never been a yes-man, you always told him when he's at fault and he'd usually be receptive to it except for when he's feeling extra sensitive and on edge. just like today. the last thing he wanted was to hear your lectures, telling him he's in the wrong. he just wanted to be comforted and for you to tell him that everything would be okay.

he was sulking from the moment he walked through the front door, dragging his tired body across the living room to plop himself onto the couch. you can clearly tell he was in a bad mood.

"bad day at work?" you hand him a glass of water then sit down next to him.

he gulps down the water then he's immediately venting about the argument he had with a few of his group mates. it started with a disagreement over something petty like their positions in a choreography that quickly escalated into a heated argument which resulted in soonyoung blurting out "maybe we should just disband instead, since we clearly can't work together."

seungcheol ended up telling everyone practice has been cut short and that everyone should go home to get some rest before the situation gets even worse and they can talk things out again when everyone is feeling better. after everyone had left, seungcheol told soonyoung that he was wrong for saying what he said and that he should apologise once he calmed down and cleared his head. but soonyoung has always been stubborn in arguments and just left without saying anything.

you sigh and rest a hand on soonyoung's thigh. "you are in the wrong for saying that though," you tell him softly. "i can't even imagine how hurt the guys felt when they heard that."

soonyoung brushes your hand away harshly then stands up and he's practically shouting when he tells you, "why can't you just take my side for once? try to see things from my perspective."

you shake your head with a frown and he can hear from your tone that you're frustrated, "i can't take your side when you're clearly at fault in this situation. what you said was hurtful. whatever the fight was about, it shouldn't have gone this far."

soonyoung rolls his eyes at you.

"do you want me to lie to you and say that you were right and all the other guys are assholes?"

he lets out a mumble of "i don't need to hear this from someone who doesn't know how stressful my job is" under his breath and he catches the hint of hurt that flashes across your face but he turns around to storm into the room and you hear the door slam loudly behind him.

he's not a bad person, you're fully aware of that. but soonyoung tends to get overly emotional when it comes to things like this and he just needs to be left alone for a while to settle down before he starts thinking straight again. it doesn't change the fact that the things he say and do during this time can be purposefully hurtful though and you can't bear to be in the same space as him whenever he's in one of those moods.

picking up your phone and keys, you think it's better for you to leave the house for a few hours than to stay here and possibly get into another argument with him and you're about to open the door when you hear the sound of the bedroom door creaking open behind you. you turn around to see soonyoung standing there, wrapped in a blanket, face red and sniffling.

"where are you going?" he asks between hiccups.

"i'm just going out to the store and maybe the park or something."

"can you stay here?" he takes a few hesitant steps towards you. "please? i don't think i can handle being alone right now."

"i don't know if that's the best idea, soonyoung. i don't want us to get into another argument."

he closes the distance between you a little more and you had to hold back your laugh from seeing him waddle towards you like a penguin because of the huge blanket around him. "i'm sorry for how i acted earlier. i had some time to think and i'm feeling better now. i can see that i was definitely in the wrong."

you stay quiet, not really knowing what else to say to that and soonyoung pokes one hand out from the blanket to hold yours and he lets out a small sigh of relief when you don't pull away.

"i'm really sorry for what i said to you. i know you were just trying to talk some sense into me." he continues.

"i know how important those guys are to you, i don't want you to lose them over a fight and something stupid you said in the heat of the moment."

he pulls you closer to him. "i know, i don't want to lose them too. i'll apologise to them later tonight, i'm sure most of them are still upset with me right now."

you nod and he pulls you into a hug.

"i don't want to lose you either because of the dumb things i say whenever i get emotional. i know you understand how hard my job is, i don't even know why i said that when you've been nothing but supportive of me."

he hears you sniffling and leans back to wipe a tear from your face.

"just promise me you'll work on being less rash whenever you get into disagreements, whether it's with them or with me."

he tugs you closer to wrap the blanket around you then squeezes you in a tight embrace. "i promise."

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reorientation · 18 hours

Note

zyn anon. again. lol

straight boy keeps joking that he got me addicted to his cock and he's pretty much right. i keep hooking up with him. its kind of cute, honestly. the first few times we hooked up he would apologize most of the time if he misgendered me, but now he doesn't. if anything he doubled down. i heard him bragging to his friends during a game about how he took a girls virginity in exchange for zyns, and "now shes over all the time". i don't think he knew i was awake either. i think he really likes that hes my first and only lol he's wo possessive about it

honestly i still get a little dysphoric over the whole thing but im getting more comfortable with the idea of legit becoming an actual girl for him. im doing more things to feminize myself around him and also in my day to day life. everything short of stopping T since thats kinda being used as primary birth control lol. which I know isnt foolproof. he wears condoms sometimes but pulls out the rest mostly.

but omg so maybe the third or forth time we had sex he finished in me after i begged him to (i wasn't thinking straight lmao) and fuuuckk it was so intense for the both of us. feeling him grind all the way in me as he came was incredible. he basically pinned me under him as he came, it was like he wanted to get as deep as he could. it did freak me out after though so now we're more careful but he wants me to go on birth control. he said hes gonna stop pulling out eventually, and birth control would be cheaper than daily plan B, and cheaper than a baby. im looking into getting an iud lmao. might even stop t after that. pregnancy scares me and i dont necessarily want to carry his baby after only fucking him for three weeks but god the idea is still really hot. he joked about baby trapping me yesterday and i had to pretend like it didn't make me soaked. its not even just a horny thought I get over after i cum anymore, becoming a girl for him is becoming more and more appealing

(Previously)

God, you're fucking cute, Anon. You don't necessarily want to have your nicotine "dealer's" baby after fucking him for a few weeks? A girl who wasn't made to be a breeding whore would put it in stronger terms - or at least not beg him for his cum in her unprotected pussy.

Still, as incredibly lame as your boyfriend's little drug empire is, I do have to commend him a little: he seems to know how to handle a girl like you. Just telling you that he's going to stop wearing a condom or pulling out, and letting you quiver and drip with the knowledge of what that would mean if you aren't careful, is both a good move and very funny. If you aren't going to get yourself knocked up, try out a hormonal IUD - I think it'd be good for you to get a little extra dose of female hormones, as you switch over to a new form of testosterone injections.

It's also really cute that you "still get a little dysphoric about the whole thing", because this is one of the clearest cases I've seen of a girl being desperate to be "persuaded" to "give up" her boy disguise. Come on, little lady. You showed him your pussy to be allowed to blow him for a discount, you spread your legs for the first time for him, and now a few weeks later you're only still on T because you can't stop yourself from taking his cum. You couldn't be throwing yourself at femininity much harder without putting on a pink floofy dress and batting your eyelashes at him.

Well, maybe that's up next. It's been a strong start, but you've still got room to grow. (And if you don't get that IUD quickly, you'll be growing sooner rather than later.)

#kink interactions #reorientation writing #reor: anon ask #ftm misgendering kink #ftm detransition kink #ftm girl #ftm breeding #reor: anon life story

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genshindsau · 2 days

Text

The second you step into your room, you pause. Your hand tightens around the door handle as you take in the figure lounging comfortably on the couch, feet propped up and everything.

"Enjoying yourself?" You close the door behind you.

"I'm getting my well deserved rest." The figure quipped back, crossing their legs as they set down a glass of wine on the small table in front of the couch.

"And pray tell, what did you do that justifies sneaking into my room and drinking my wine?" You shrugged off your outer layer of clothes as you moved towards the couch, tossing them over the back of a chair.

"I freed up your time," Al-Haitham motioned towards the desk in your room with his free hand. It was much cleaner and there were three neat stacks of paper on your desk, each larger than the next.

"Saved you from having to read such drivel reports." He stood up, smoothing his clothes out as he walked to the desk - and closer to you. "Tell me, why is it the future empress's responsibility to read about such nonsense? Small town thievery? Marriage drama in neighboring lands? Don't they realize you have actual problems to worry about."

The side of your mouth quirks up. "Are you offering?"

Al-Haitham let out a soft hum, his head tilting to the side as if he was considering it. He wasn't. "Of course not. My brain would leak out of my ears."

You consider his words. He's not that far off.

"Such a shame." You muse. You lift up a few reports off one of the piles and skim through them. "For someone who says it was such a drag, you sure did a detailed job. I wouldn't even go this in-depth with my replies."

"Just because I don't enjoy it doesn't mean I am not give it everything."

He stepped around the desk so that he was now standing next to you. His head tilts to look over you and at the reports, his head nearly resting on your shoulder.

"Sounds exhausting. You do that for all your work?" You set the paper back onto the desk.

A noncommittal sound leaves his mouth. "Well most of the time I enjoy my research."

You can feel his eyes flicker to look at you.

"I enjoy the work you let me do."

You let out a soft snort.

"Is that so?" You turn to face him. Your hip resting against the side of the desk.

"So are you going to tell me why you did all this? Or was it just because you were feeling kind."

Al-Haitham was the one to let out a snort this time.

"I can't just do a good deed?"

You stared at him, your eyes narrowing. He kept his eyes on your face as he suppress the quirk of his lips.

"Sure, you could. But you don't. You always have an alterior motive so what is it?"

Al-Haitham stared at you for a moment before his head turned to the side and his shoulders lifted in a shrugging motion.

"I cleared up some of your time and you question my intentions," he let out a small sigh before turning around and moving back to the sofa, propping his feet on the table. His eyes flickered to the empty spot next to him before looking back at you. "You're too suspicious."

You blink at him under the cloth wrapped around your eyes. Once. Twice.

"It comes with the territory," You state blankly. You move away from your desk.

"Now aren't the others having some kind of celebration. If I remember correctly, you're suppose to be the guest of honor - it's your birthday isn't it?"

Al-Haitham let out an amused sound. "I stopped by: made my entrance. Thanked them. I didn't exactly want to spend my birthday surrounded by the others."

"No because apparently you'd rather be doing work that you don't have to." You shake your head softly. "Is that how you got out. By saying there was work I needed you to do?"

Al-Haitham stared straight ahead, his face angled away from you as you moved to rest on the couch. The cushion dipped as you sat down.

"It is, isn't it?"

"Well it's not like you wouldn't assign work to be done on someone's birthday. Besides, they didn't see anything off with what I said. In fact some of them looked exceedingly happy that there was no longer a celebration."

You let out a breath of air, your head falling back to rest on the back of the couch. "I wonder why that is."

You both know why: ever since joining the harem, Al-Haitham never cared to get close to the others. In fact, he barely paid them any attention aside from being cordial in public.

Al-Haitham just shrugged his shoulders, slumping back against your couch and turning his head to look at you. His hair falls over his eyes, brushing against his skin in a way you wish you're fingers were. The corner of his lips curled up, his eyes drooping as he stared at you, a glit in his eyes. He knows the effect he has on you.

"Besides, there's only one gift I would like for my birthday. One that no one else could give me," he murmured, his voice soft. "Though that's mainly because you wouldn't allow anyone too."

"Is that so?" You shift on the couch. Your fingers scratch at the skin underneath the cloth tied around your eyes. "Maybe I could be persuaded?"

Al-Haitham stared at you, numerous emotions flashing through his eyes before they hardened. He tucks his legs underneath his bottom on the cushion so that his body is faced towards you. One of his hands lifts to slide over your waist, gliding up until its positioned above your shoulder, gripping the cushion behind your head. His body raises with his movements until he's leaning over you.

"I don't want to persuade you. I want you to take me out of my clothes," he lifts one leg, moving it to rest on the outside of your other leg so he is settled on your lap, hovering over you. "And have your way with me." His hands grip the cushions behind your head as he ducks his head, his breath mixing with your own.

His nose brushes against your own and he is close enough that you hear his breath hitch as your hands brush over his clothed thighs before they settle around his hips. One hand skims up his body until it cups his neck and you feel the soft caress of his hair against your fingers.

You watch as his eyes dilate, the subtle relaxation in his shoulders as your grip tightens around the nape of his neck. His eyelids flutter and his lips part, his pink tongue darting out to lick at his lips.

Your own lips curl at the reaction. Most of your consorts and concubines are never this straight-forward; but Al-Haitham has never had that problem. He is more than happy to say what he wants and he doesn't shy away from the reactions of his body.

His hips roll on your lap, rubbing the growing arousal against your stomach.

Your hand tightens around the nape of his neck as you whisper out, "very well then." You tug him down, finally closing the small gap as your lips slide over his. A wanton moan leaving his lips and you eagerly swallow the sound.

#genshin au #consort au #empress au #c:empress #genshin x reader #c:al haitham

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takemebacktowheniwassane · 3 days

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I would kill to have you overanalyze everything about Falsettos. Hope that didn't sound too threatening, I was joking, I'm just really into your analysis of the chess game :3

omg! I would love to analyze anything for you, man! 💗 I've pretty much picked everything out of a lot of the songs─ lil surprised I don't have my own corkboard with red twine commemorating my insanity on this musical lol

Looking through the album, the first option that came to mind might've been The Thrill of First Love but I think I'll take a break from toxic gays for just one moment and give you a strangely written analysis on Marvin at the Psychiatrist: A Three-Part Mini Opera, because of the different character pov's (i.e., Mendel, Jason, somewhat Whizzer, and of course, Marvin─ and I know Whizzer only announces each section of the song but hear me out, the theories are crazy and I'm obsessed with them and this song definitely factors into them aswell).

Basically, we'll start off with a quick look over Jason's lines, as he is the first character to speak/sing in the song. Right off the bat, we have him showing a HUGE disdain for love because of his father pretty much ruining his home life with the illusion of it. Well, maybe disdain is strong, but you get what I mean─ he's very reluctant to accept romance as an option for himself at all at this point because the wound is still very fresh from Marvin blowing up their family life, but yeah, also, he's a little preteen boy so it also makes sense for him to object to liking anyone just because of immaturity.

As we progress, Jason does a joint-therapy session with Marvin and they talk about outings and father/son bonding time gone badly wrong. He lets us in on his hyper-observance with his reaction to Marvin saying the pitcher they saw at a baseball game was handsome, and makes sure the audience is well aware he has some pretty conflicting emotions about his dad and his dad's sexuality. Especially given My Father's a Homo comes directly after this song, and in turn, also directly after this moment, so we know his feelings over Marvin and Whizzer (being that he enjoys Whizzer's company, seeing as Whizzer is the only adult who actually treats him like a kid and not like a victim or a baby or an average adult, like- but still) and their messy relationship.

It really makes me wonder on how it is when he's meant to go over to their apartment, since it's canonical that they live together and that Jason sees him regularly. And if they act terribly in front of him still. I assume Whizzer wouldn't allow that, another trait that gives Jason reason to side with him, because he seems like he really just doesn't want to completely, for lack of better words, fuck up Jason's whole childhood experience by being a part of it.

Now! Mendel isn't a complicated perspective, per say, just very eccentric. Especially assuming he asks MANY intrusive questions to a man who just openly came out as gay about his ex-wife and her sexual habits and such. This is where we tell him to go to horny jail.

(That's not the whole analysation, I swear─)

Mendel to me seems like he probably takes the initiative to not relay any of his clients actual info to other family members, but this song pretty much just proves he's incapable of brain-thought when he's horny. Which, yeah, that's hilarious that the only straight man is just thirsting over a woman to this gay guy. William Finn, you've done it again.

Anyhow, Mendel is pretty vital in this song. We get to see his psychiatry techniques, and with that, understand exactly what kind of situation Marvin's been, in taking therapy from him this whole time. The first part of the song is probably the best way of analyzing, since he's actually intelligible and giving Marvin advice. Well, that advice consists of telling him to ignore Whizzer's flaws and love him regardless, you can actually sorta see that at work in some aspects of the musical, even if he's constantly condescending to Whizzer throughout act one.

But generally, Marvin tends to take the exact opposite path that Mendel gives him, and basically just uses him as a venting device. Then again, Mendel is not to great at giving advice, as a neurotic little man who has like four mental breakdowns in the course of act one and two.

Next, Whizzer, of course. Short but sweet, or.. angsty? I've heard a few people theorize that Whizzer narrates the story ("Marvin at the psychiatrist, a three part mini opera, part one." "Part two." "Part three." "Psychiatrist, returning, returning! Five sessions later..." "A day in Falsettoland─ Doctor Mendel at work.") because after he dies, it sort of becomes his story of finding a true family and lover and son and being actually happy and knowing he lived well before he died really, tragically young, at least.

I'd like to take it a different direction, because I hate angst, and only sometimes tolerate it.

I've realized that Whizzer only actually narrates Mendel's shenanigans, which makes me think, especially with how he still does in act two, he gets to HEAR about the sessions. Whether it be from Marvin, or Jason, or Trina. Or even Mendel himself (this one's more act two based). It may introduce a new side because Whizzer doesn't go to therapy (shocker), but the people he's around all see this one guy so maybe he hears about the sessions and can relay them because he knows this one person's aspect of the story each time.

It wouldn't make a lot of sense for him to hear anything from Mendel in act one assuming they weren't close (at least not in the revival), and he doesn't marry Trina until Marvin and Whizzer are broken up, basically. But it would make more sense for him to get it from his boyfriend who absolutely loves to complain about any minor inconvenience in his life. I just think this could be an interesting perspective, because I've only ever seen that first theory and although somewhat fitting, I need less angst and more cool little headcanons in this fanbase please and thank you.

Finally, we go to Marvin. The star of the show, our princess with several disorders (we all know who our real queens are *stares directly at Trina and Whizzer*).

Throughout the entirety of this song, we see him barely entertaining Mendel with information. He's very vague, which probably stems from a life of secrecy and sneaking around. Although I presume he told Mendel about the affair while it was happening, or a few months in? Or Mendel just knew? Just by the general air of it, and how it seemed well-known by that point even though him and Trina only just divorced.

Marvin definitely keeps to himself, and waits for Mendel to butt in with something. Not so he can take his advice, but moreso so that he can kinda just. Have it, on hand? Or maybe so he can prove to himself that therapy is a hoax, because that certainly sounds like a Marvin thing to do.

Even while going through events with his son, he only states that eventually their interactions just go back to being stale and that they SHOULD be closer, without ever trying to actually make an effort (he assumes making an effort is taking Jason on outings even though they both prefer to stay inside, on their own. This definitely comes from his parents not doing anything with him as a kid, it's internalized so he pushes going out in public and doing what would be father/son outings onto Jason. It's something he never got to have, so he thinks that means he's fathering Jason better than average).

Not much to be said about that middle factor, besides the point of Marvin not knowing Trina was withholding love from him, which is interesting. Her character and lines definitely prevail that she was fed up with Marvin, but it could have just come out as indifference during their marriage. In I'm Breaking Down, she does make a point to state that she only wants a man to love her, so that could've been an overwhelming point in their marriage that Marvin remembers more vividly then her drifting away.

He did seem genuinely surprised when Mendel brought it up, so there is something there for sure.

But now, my dear silly, it's time for me to say adieu, because it's semi-late and I gotta update a fic draft :) but thank you sm for asking! made my day, it was so sweet. my inbox is always open for any suggestions, I'm really glad you like these little rants lol.

I'll try to post more soon 🫶

Goodnight!

#whizzerfalsettos #my sillies #falsettos #whizzvin #marvinfalsettos #hyperfixating on falsettos #rant #analysis #mendelfalsettos #trinafalsettos #Trina came up a little bit #I can't help it #Shes my queen #jasonfalsettos #also Marvin coming home in act 2 and still ranting to Whizzer about his therapy session and how it went #Chefs kiss #I came up with some new ones for this rant #les gooooo #night everyone :)

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