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#just seems like an easy way to get the two of them together again in the same room
erwinsvow · 10 hours
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knocked up too young and wearing a glittery diamond ring on your left hand, you had settled nicely into the role of mrs. cameron. it wasn’t tough, not a hard position to play in the slightest—rafe, or rather your husband—made everything nice and easy for you.
it seemed like it was his biggest desire come true, making sure you and his little girl were taken care of. he liked it actually, more than he admitted, knowing the two of you were fast asleep in bed when he left for work in the morning, doing nothing but relaxing throughout the day.
in fact, he had decided the second you had tearfully confessed that you were pregnant that this was the sort of life you were meant for, the kind of life he was going to give you. you were so scared, he can remember it like it was yesterday—your watery eyes and wet cheeks, the way your hands shook when you pulled out the test to show him.
“i-i-i’m so sorry, i, i thought the pills were enough, everyone says it’s enough-” you were stammering and crying your way into exhausation, something he definitely didn’t like. 
“s’okay, kid. nothin’ to cry about.” he was formulating his plan already, being proactive in all matters, thinking ahead to marriage licenses and car seats while you stared down at the positive stick in your palm.
“you’re.. you’re not mad, rafe?” the way you look at him, the world stops spinning. why would he be mad?
“hey, s’done,” he says, hands on your shoulders to steady you, bringing you to the edge of the bed to take a seat. he takes the pregnancy test from your hands, looking down at it himself. “it already happened. can’t take it back. no point in cryin’ over it.” 
when you look up with even more tears in your eyes, he’s half convinced he’s said the wrong thing—but it doesn’t faze him, he keeps going.
“hey, hey. what, you thought i wouldn’t take care of you? this is my kid too.”
“i know, i just, i thought you wouldn’t be okay.. with it. having it.” that’s the first and only time he got stern with you through this whole pregnancy.
“hey, don’t talk like that. this is our baby. there’s no question ‘bout havin’ it.” you nod up at him, tears drying as you steady yourself, regain a little composure knowing rafe’s not mad about this little accident. “y’okay now?” you nod again. “good, call your parents. tell ‘em we’re getting married soon.” 
“wh-rafe!” 
but, like how most things were with rafe, he called the shots and you listened. the two of you got married shortly after, before you were even showing. anyone who even attempted to comment on the hastiness of everything shut up the second rafe stared at them.
you’d be a liar to say you didn’t like it, a fool if you didn’t appreciate how rafe was to you.
he stepped up in every way, better than you could have even tried to put together in your imagination. a place was purchased and had slowly started to become home, with a crib that rafe assembled by himself—though it had taken hours and ended up with the instruction papers all crumbled up in a corner—and baby proofed cabinets and sockets. you laugh watching rafe try to install the baby gate on the staircase.
“you know that’s for when they start crawling, right?” you giggle, a hand on your very pregnant belly.
“shut up. m’being proactive. gonna have no time once she actually gets here and we’re runnin’ around changing diapers and makin’ formula and shit.” 
you’re only a touch surprised with how well-versed he is with all the baby stuff, though you appreciate it more and more since you’re still a little confused and overwhelmed. he makes it all easy, from the pregnancy cravings he runs around to find for you to the pretty pink walls in the nursery. he even satisfies all your other cravings, like around month six when there was nothing you wanted more than rafe's dick in every position you could think of.
when his daughter actually comes into the world, the two of you are a mess of emotions and thoughts, but there’s only one rafe really cares about. when can he give you another one?
it doesn’t take long for him to start trying again—trying to convince you that the two of you can handle two, that little kids need siblings their age. the baby’s only six months old but he’s convinced it’ll be better to have them all young at the same time rather than waiting—at least that’s the line he feeds you.
“no, rafe, they’re gonna be like irish twins. it’s so embarassing,” you say next to him in bed, staring up at your husband. 
“what’s that?”
“when you have two babies that aren’t even a year apart.”
“oh. that’s a thing? good, at least there’s a name for it. i’ll get you a book on it, since that’s what we’re doin’.”
and try as you might, even you can’t resist rafe for long, not when he’s taking such good care of you and just wants to give you another baby with his blue eyes and your pretty hair. you end up in the same position that got you into this whole situation—your knees folded to your chest and eyes rolling back while rafe slams into you. 
“don’t worry, baby,” he breathes into your ear, low and quiet since the baby’s sleeping in the other room. “i’ll get y’knocked up again. won’t have to think about a thing in this world except my kids.”
it’s a shame you get pregnant so quickly—rafe was so fun when his only thought revolved around fucking you full of his cum. 
“well, s’not gonna be irish twins. too far apart,” rafe says, looking at the photos from the doctor’s appointment.
“no, it’s just regular twins.” you don’t think you’ve ever seen rafe so happy.
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villainofmyownstory · 11 hours
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Day Zero
chapter 2
masterlist
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pairing: Simon “Ghost” Riley x plus size fem!reader
summary: Ghost doesn't know what to do. He looks for Riley everywhere, with no results. He slowly loses his mind and does something he hasn't done for a long time… You wonder who and where Riley has been with all these years. How he found you? Why is he wearing that weird vest? And above all, where is the person who put it on him?
tags: AFAB reader, plus size reader, dog german shepherd, alcohol, weapon
author's note: I didn't expect so many comments, likes… everything… Thank you for this, it motivates me a lot.
Unfortunately, what everyone probably expects doesn't happen in this chapter… or maybe it does?^^
I plan to add new chapter once a week. However, I have more free time this week, so I will add the next part in a few days.
Chapter 2: The one with(out) Riley
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Day 730
You & Riley
It had to be Riley.
Of all the things you dreamed of all those lonely nights. About family, friends. Everything you've been longing for. You missed him the most. For your beloved dog. I t wasn't like the other family members were important to you. You just knew and pretty quickly came to terms with the thought that you wouldn't see them again.
It was difficult, hard. However, the realization of the unpleasant truth and mourning in such strange and new lonely conditions passed. The loss of the dog was unexpected and sudden. And knowing from day one that many animals somehow survived. Somewhere deep in your heart you felt that Riley was just there. And eventually, one way or another, you will be together again. But you thought it would happen after you died.
Not now. And not like that.
The dog was so happy to see you that he jumped at you with his front paws, trying to put them on your shoulders, but he was so excited and exhausted that he hit you with full force, pushing you. You hit the ground with a loud thud, crushed by the mass of the dog who was now licking every inch of your body, clothed or not. It didn't matter to him at all.
"Oh my god Riley...stop it, oh fuck" as you try to get out of the weight you don't know if you're in pain or if you're happy or shocked.
You're going through a million emotions. Many thoughts are running through your head. You have so many questions. So much confusion.
"Riley, man, calm down... I know, I know..."
You're trying to say something and at the same time get rid of the dog that has gained a lot of weight after these two years. Not only was he handsome, but he looked like a decent dog. Adult, mature. After many attempts, you finally manage to sit down, the dog seems to let go for a moment, panting loudly and sticking out his tongue. You look at each other as if each of you wanted to express and tell you everything that happened and what you felt during these months of separation.
Riley still had that incredible wisdom in his eyes, something that made him seem so human. This was one of the features that made him easy to recognize. The second thing was the fact that, unfortunately, before he came to you, when he was a puppy he lost part of his left ear. That's why as soon as you saw an animal running towards you, in a split second you knew it was him.
It was something so incredible, even impossible.
And you remember your mother's words the day the puppy showed up at the door of your family home 
"Fucking miracle"
Scratching Riley's ear, you shook your head in amusement and whispered, barely audible
"Yes Mommy, you were right… as always. He's a miracle."
Now you were just curious about the person who had kept Riley alive for so long and kept him in such great shape.
Slowly standing up, brushing off the dust from your clothes and wiping your cheeks, which were wet with dog saliva. You looked around the area, not seeing another living creature.
“Riley, who did you come with? Where is this person?”
You asked the companion next to you, grabbing your backpack and slowly walking in the direction the dog came from. However, the wounds on your feet from the long walk were so painful that you had to give up after walking a few steps.
“So, I guess we'll have to wait here for this mysterious Ghost?”
Walking towards a small building that was probably an energy building. Hoping that there will be a working power supply with electricity inside. which the tower still works and sends a signal, from time to time you looked with a smile at the dog which was glued to your leg and was following along with you.
For the first time in a long time, you smiled.
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Day 731
You & Riley
Nothing, silence, emptiness.
As if the arrival of the dog didn't change much. And it changed practically everything. The world took on new colors for you, you felt that it was a signal, a sign. Whatever. Something refreshing that restored meaning to your life after such hopeless and miserable, long and lonely months.
And somewhere deep inside you believed that someone would eventually show up. And after many hours of sitting in a dingy little building next to the tower, you lose hope again. Maybe Riley's arrival was everything you deserved in this new life.
When trying to get more comfortable on a concrete floor, you need to be careful with your dog. With every movement you make, even the smallest one, Riley raises his head and looks at you. He gets closer if you move your body away from his just the slightest. As if he was afraid that you would disappear from his sight again.
The night and half of the day passed. No one came at noon.
Like the mysterious Ghost, sleep never came.
“Darling, I'm so tired... everything hurts,” you say quietly, stroking the animal's fur with your hand.
 “Riley, I think we should wait a little longer, maybe one more day?” You look towards your backpack. Unfortunately, all the supplies you had packed were slowly running out. Your water supply would last for another day. Maybe if you saved more for the next two days. You had food for two or three days. However, you didn't expect before that you would have to count all the food and water for two.
It wasn't a problem. At all.
“Oh boy… you don't know how glad I am that you're here with me,” you muttered, placing your hand on the dog's body, finally falling asleep.
And the last thought was that in two years you haven't said as many words as today.
And it wasn't a problem. At all.
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Day 730
Ghost
Ghost felt like he was slowly losing his mind. That he's about to go crazy. Since all this happened, this whole cataclysm, the apocalypse. The end of the world... Everyone could call it whatever they wanted. That damn Day Zero. The man was able to organize himself in all this chaos, pursue his goals, plan and live. From day one, everything made sense, meaning, some direction for him.
Planning, patterns, predictability. Sticking to the schedule, drill.
His years in the army prepared him for this. It was in his blood.
So now that there had been no sign of Riley for over 24 hours, the only living being for whom he got up and went to sleep every day, it all made no sense. His life had no meaning.
Yesterday when he left the fucking house with a pillow in his hand that he took for the dog. In terror, he ran around the area shouting the dog's name, hoping that it would appear soon. Ghost was under the illusion that Riley would run around  the corner with some prey in his mouth. Wagging his tail happily.
Nothing like that happened.
Ghost, in his madness, destroyed several objects he encountered on his way. Screaming loudly and cursing. This couldn't be true. Something bad must have happened. The dog had been clinging to Ghost continuously for 2 years. Even when he taught him to hunt or search in new unknown locations, the dog was able to return to the man.
Why wasn't he there now?
Ghost finally went home after many hours of frantic searching. All the time he was wondering what else he should do to make his friend come back to him.
When he finally reached a safe place and parked the car, he looked around the area, hoping Riley had found his way home, and stuck his tongue out, wagging his tail. That the dog would be sitting outside the house, waiting for Ghost.
Unfortunately, to the man's horror, there was no sign of any presence.
Ghost felt under his skin that if he was left alone, he would lose ground. And his entire planned, arranged life will collapse day by day like a house of cards.
The house seemed unusually quiet and empty. Even though every space, every corner, cabinet, shelf and floor was filled with objects that the man had collected for two years. Supplies, clothes, items needed for survival. He was proud of how easily and quickly he adapted to the new challenge. How he was able to find himself alone, without other people.
This was another difficult and important mission for him.
I'm sitting in a chair at a large oak desk. He converted the room into an office where he kept maps, important documents and books. Ghost leaned back in the leather chair and closed his eyes.
He was afraid of this moment. Yes, he expected that one day he would be alone again. That he would have to say goodbye to his best companion. However, a German Shepherd should live up to 13 years. Maybe Riley would have lived another year or two in good health. Ghost was ready for this terrible situation. But that was to happen in the future. Someday, when they're both ready. In many years. In at least 9-10 years. That was the plan. That was the assumption.
And now Ghost was staring at the blank white ceiling, feeling like his world had collapsed once again.
The first was the death of his family.
The second time was when his teammate died.
Third… no, no, no. This couldn't happen again.
"No!" the man growled loudly, getting up from his chair and hurrying towards the room that was now the large pantry.
He must have had something strong to drink. Bloody hell. He had to drink that fucking brandy.
It's been a long 730 days since Ghost last dipped his lips in alcohol. Two years of sobriety.
And a drunk lieutenant meant something very dangerous. 
Pure madness. 
If someone showed up at Ghost's door now. The person should step back and leave without hesitation. And never come back. For your own safety. Your pathetic life.
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Day 732
Walking towards the city in the morning, with your dog by your side, you felt as if the world smiled at you and let you go back to your happy years. When you were younger and Riley was just a few months old puppy. This is exactly what your mornings looked like. You were walking along quiet streets somewhere on the outskirts of your city, enjoying the new, sunny day. You usually went to your favorite cafe and bakery, then went to the park with your dog. Lazy, ordinary mornings.
Unfortunately, now despite the idyllic landscape, peace and quiet, greening grasses and trees. Nothing else here was like back then.
Silence, deserted, ruined buildings.
Even though the world changed completely that day, the city looked remarkably good and clean, the main roads were passable, cars and other things on the road had been moved so that one lane was empty. You decided to go to the center and plan further walking there.
You entered several buildings and checked several vehicles.
Weird. All the more important and necessary things you could find in these places are gone. Medicines, canned goods. Batteries, clothes, shoes. The fuel from the car was drained, batteries, light bulbs and other things from the engine were removed.
The city looked like someone had definitely lived there after Day Zero. For a long time.
However, after a few hours of walking around empty streets, you decided to enter the last building where you expected to find at least a few drops of water. Even fermented, rotten food. Whatever.
“Riley, come on, one more place and we're going back to the tower, maybe Ghost will show up tomorrow?”
you lightly pulled the dog's leash. The dog was still sitting on its hind legs, looking in the opposite direction from which you had come.
You didn't have time to react.
Focused on the dog, you leaned down to give him the command again to finally move.
You didn't have time to do anything else.
Shot.
And the whistle of the bullet.
That's all you heard...
You didn't have time to do anything else.
taglist: @leviathanleva @chocolate-noodles
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No, I have no interest in watching the remainder of Helluva Boss season two.
I can tolerate a bad adult cartoon, trust me, I've sat through plenty of godawful shows. But Helluva Boss is one of those rare shows that genuinely keeps finding new ways to piss me off.
It'd be one thing if the show was flawed but had some positive aspects to balance out those flaws, but it just doesn't.
Yeah, the animation is pretty, but so what? That doesn't change the fact that the writing is awful beyond belief.
And look, I'm not one of those guys who's all like "Ugh, this sucks. I could do better" because I understand that getting any project off the ground isn't a simple thing to achieve. It's a miracle that half the projects that get green lit see the light of day.
So no, I'm not "jealous" of Viv, I just think this show is terrible.
The fact that the entire narrative now revolves around Stolas is baffling. I get that shows evolve overtime, but having everything revolve around Stolas and his relationship with Blitzo kind of makes me wonder why Viv even bothered with the assassins for hire pitch.
But then again, Viv is constantly giving up on her main story premises in favor of ship teasing and fan service.
Remember when Hazbin Hotel was supposed to be about a hotel that sinners would go to to get redeemed? Because Viv doesn't!
Furthermore, unlike Hazbin Hotel, I don't think Helluva Boss' narrative could be salvaged by other writers. As we're two seasons in and the Stolas narrative doesn't leave much room for of an endgame.
All the villains are so cartoonishly evil and one note that it's tough to see any of them as a threat. There is never a point where you truly believe that Stolas and Blitzo won't end up together by the end and the series doesn't seem to be building up towards anything.
Oh, and for any Viv fan who's going to respond with the "Don't like it don't watch" argument in the comments and reblogs, I just want to say that you should apply that argument to all the shows and movies that you dislike.
It's easy to use that argument when it comes to defending shows you like from criticism, but we all know you don't do the same for the stuff you hate.
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ravelights · 4 months
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after Reading the latest chapter for Spy X family one thing I noted was when reading of all of Demetrius list of achievements the first thing listed off was the highest scorer in math's.
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Which was the subject that Anya failed so bad she got a bolt for.
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Which makes me wounder if in the future it might be possible that Demetrius might have to tutor Anya in math's at some point.
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fuckyeahisawthat · 2 months
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Controversial opinion among Dune book fans maybe, but I loved the changes they made to Chani's character. Making her a fedaykin who is already an experienced fighter before Paul arrives was a brilliant choice. Dune Part Two is a war movie, and this puts her at the center of the action, side by side with Paul, and gives her a much more active role than she has in the book.
We got a hint of where things were going in the beginning of Dune Part One. The first thing we ever know about movie Chani is that she's a fighter. She serves as a voice for the Fremen, telling us the story of their struggle from her point of view. I wrote here about the difference this change makes compared to other adaptations of Dune, what a perspective shift it is to have the world of Arrakis introduced not by an outsider, describing it as a dangerous but valuable colonial prize, but by one of its native inhabitants, who tells us before all else that it's beautiful, her home that she's fighting to liberate. I am so, so glad that the second movie followed up on this characterization.
I never found Chani and Paul's love story in the book particularly convincing, because why would this woman, who already has a prominent and respected place in Fremen society, even give the time of day to her deposed would-be colonizer, let alone fall in love and have children with him? Without a compelling reason for Chani to love Paul, she ends up feeling like a prize to be won, and "indigenous culture personified as a woman to be wooed (or conquered) by the colonizing man" is a trope we've seen and don't need to repeat.
But as soon as you tell me it's a barricade romance I get it. Cool cool cool, I know exactly what this relationship is now and it makes sense. Movie Chani doesn't respect or even particularly like Paul when she first meets him, and she doesn't think he's the fulfillment of any prophecy. She comes to respect him, and eventually love him, through his actions. He's brave--sometimes recklessly so. He fights well. He's willing to stick his neck out on the front lines with the other Fremen fighters. He can (after a little help) hack surviving in the harsh desert environment. He's not too proud to learn from others. He seems to genuinely want to be her equal in a common political struggle. All these qualities make sense as things she values.
Fighting side by side as equals is just about the only way I can see movie Chani falling for Paul. And it fits perfectly with the film's pattern of reversals that Paul's capacity for violence would initially be one of the things Chani likes about him, only for her to be repelled later when she sees what he becomes.
And as for Paul, well, he's had people deferring to him his entire life. Someone who doesn't take any shit from him is probably refreshing. He seems to like people (Duncan, Gurney) who challenge him and engage in a little friendly teasing--and aren't afraid to go a few rounds in the sparring ring.
It's easy to speedrun a romance when you're spending all your time together in mortal danger fighting for a shared political cause. Especially if you then start winning in a war your people have been fighting for decades. Are you kidding me? That is the perfect environment for intense battle camaraderie to turn into romantic love, and lust.
It makes sense that this version of Chani never believes Paul is any kind of messiah. Of course a character like movie Chani wouldn't believe in or trust some outside savior to liberate them. She's been working to liberate her own people for years. The more Paul invokes the messianic myth, the more he starts sounding once again like someone who plans to rule over them, and the more uncomfortable Chani becomes. In this way she becomes a foil to Jessica, the two of them representing the choices Paul is pulled between. It's a great way of externalizing the political and philosophical debates that often happen within characters' heads in the book.
And of course this version of Chani would leave Paul at the end of the film. It's not just the personal, emotional betrayal--although that stings. What common cause does she have with someone who just declared himself emperor and is sending her own people off in a war of conquest against others? Given the important role she plays in Dune Messiah, I am super curious to see how they get her back into the story, but girl was so valid for being willing to just gtfo. Given that she has the last shot of the whole movie, I'm sure she'll be back somehow, and I can't wait to see what they do with her character in any future installments.
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garoujo · 7 months
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✩ ˛˚ . GOJO SATORU + GETO SUGURU — your stepdad gojo always seemed to show off how good your father / daughter relationship really was whenever his bestfriend would visit.
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ஜ ˖ ࣪࿐ྂ warnings! stepcest, stepdad!gojo, vouyerism, f!receiving oral, teasing, you refer to him as daddy, pet names. ♡ ˖ ࣪࿐ྂ note! hi guys! it’s me! i got struck w motivation suddenly & i missed u all ! <3 i’m back on my filthy little agenda & finally elaborating on this post now that i’m back :3
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you always loved when your step dads bestfriend visited, you could always tell it was him with how softly he seemed to close the door — your home suddenly being filled with light hearted jokes from the two men downstairs that always pulled you out of your bedroom.
geto had always been kind to you, he’d basically been as big a part of your life as gojo had been— although you always thought it was funny the way they would both playfully fight for your attention. more so your dad’s bestfriend just letting him win so he didn’t have to listen to him whining about how he’s stealing you from him.
so today is just the same when you hear you the familiar “you’ve got a visitor, sweet girl.” call from downstairs as it’s followed by a smooth chuckle from the man in question. you know who it is— you’ve just gotten out from your shower, skin still slightly damp underneath the oversized fabric of your daddy’s shirt and you don’t really have the time to change into something warmer, opting just to deal with the panties underneath — the shirts long enough to hide them anyway.
it’s fast the way you make your way through the house, almost toppling into the living room as your greeted with the two men on either sofa. you suddenly feel nervous with the way their eyes cut into you, feeling hot underneath their gaze as you grab and pull at the hem of your shirt.
“slow down, sweet thing. excited to see me?” is how it begins, the usual teasing as gojo gives his bestfriend a narrowed look followed by a sly smirk sent your way. but it seems to cut through the tension in the room, helping you relax as his arms outstretch and you suddenly feel embarrassed underneath your clothes when he gives you an expectant look, tapping at his lap when you pause and rock yourself on your feet.
but you’re much too distracted by the way geto’s looking at you, head propped up against his fist as he lets himself rest against the arm of the couch. his hair is pulled back handsomely, letting you admire his pretty cut features and the usual kind-hearted smile he always reserved for you. “it’s good to see you again.”
“hah! come onnn~ you shy? ‘ts just suguru, you don’t wanna embarrass me infront of my friend, right?” gojo groans, a little louder this time as his crystalline gaze narrows playfully at you with a pout. your step dad has always been a little touchy, especially around his bestfriend — always insisting you spend your time together tucked into his lap or under his arm, like he’s staking a silent claim.
“you better go before he starts whining, we won’t hear the end of it.” geto’s words are soothing but he makes sure they’re loud enough for his friend to hear as the snowy haired male tuts. but just before he fires back another quick response, he smirks as you pad your way towards him — giving into the way his arms wrap instinctively around your hips as he pulls you into his lap, letting your thighs rest over his own as you press into his side under his arm.
“see, bet you’re comfy now, right? gotta show suguru that i’m still your favourite.” the first half of gojo’s sentence is a low drawl as you readjust yourself, words breathed along the shell of your ear before he makes the latter a little louder. like he’s celebrating a victory as his bestfriend pretends not to hear him.
but you press yourself into him just like always, it was too easy to get lost in the feel of him against you — tucking yourself against him as he lets one of his arms curl around you to rest at the base of your spine.
you let yourself chime into their conversation for a while before you just allow yourself to listen— opting for a giggle or a laugh at their playful banter, feeling gojo squeeze at your hips everytime he says something that he finds particularly funny so he can make sure you’re listening, laughing. you readjust yourself against him again and he’s always there to pull you closer, pressing a quick peck against your temple and you like how homey it feels when the three of you are like this.
the time seems to move quickly, the conversation has settled down slightly despite the way the two bestfriends still seemed to tease eachother and you feel content from where you’re curled against your stepdad, face resting in the crook of his neck as his fingers smooth along your spine.
“is she asleep?” you hear geto ask lowly, kindly and it makes your eyelashes flutter— tickling along gojo’s skin as he hums. he knows you’re not, but he still lets the question hang for a few more moments as his fingers trace shapes into your skin. he readjusts himself, silently before the next twist of his wrist brings his hand around your hips, placing featherlight touches along the planes of your skin until you shudder into him.
“daddy—“ it’s embarrassing, the soft whine your voice takes— you’re so responsive. your daddy’s heard you like this before, he took great pleasure in being able to pull those sounds from you but this was a first for his bestfriend.
“oh? ‘s my sweet girl tired? suguru was worried.” you keen at the low drawl gojo’s voice takes— you’d heard it like that before, it was like instinct the way you reacted to it especially when it’s accompanied by the teasing squeeze of his palms — kneading at your skin until you’re fidgeting.
“i’m fine.” you murmur as you try so hard to bury yourself into your stepdad’s neck, you’re so embarrassed— too hot underneath your clothes and all he’s done is barely touch you, show off the reaction he can pull from you with just a few swipes of his fingers.
“oh yeah? just fine?” gojo drawls again, a lull to his voice that lets you know he’s teasing you and you can’t help the way your arms reach to wrap around his shoulders, fingers twisting in the snowy peaks of his hair as you grumble in response, but you know he won’t let you away with just that.
you can feel the heat of geto’s gaze from across the room and the way it follows the warm press of the fingers along your skin, the shape of your waist, the swell of your ass and you keen at the attention before they pinches playfully at the skin, making you jolt as you press your chest into his with a short whine.
“n-no.. i’m good.”
“can’t hear you, princess. lil louder f’ me, make sure he can hear you.” gojo almost chuckles with your sensitive little reaction, the heat from your arousal feels like it burns you and now you really wish you’d thrown on something to hide the way you’re rubbing your thighs together. you’re so desperate, needy to feel something before your mind blurs at the feeling of your daddy’s long fingers finally pushing between your thighs to squeeze.
“you’re making her nervous, satoru.” grounds you as geto pushes himself to stand, his eyes seem darker now but the kindness in his expression remains the same as he takes his first careful step into your space. you’re already pliant, like putty when the snowy haired male beside you moves you so easily, pulling at your thigh until you’re pressed perfectly, pretty in his lap while you face his friend — back pressed against his broad chest as he breathes deep along your shoulder.
“that right? you think you can calm her down, sugu?” there’s something carnal in gojo’s words, like a challenge— he knows that nobody could ever beat him when it comes to you, the pleasure he can pull from you is limitless. but he can feel the way you seem to stiffen, your breathing coming in short pants as his bestfriend comes closer until he’s looking down at you both, but his eyes are on you before he crouches down to your level to meet you.
“oh i wouldn’t say that.” his voice seems different now, lower— deeper when you find yourself suddenly too nervous to meet his gaze but your step dad forces you to, fingers circling from behind to hold your jaw gently in place as his other hand pulls at your inner thigh.
you feel so exposed as gojo spreads you so easily with one hand, like he’s serving his pretty little step daughter up to his bestfriend like a meal, although you admit geto’s looking at you like he could devour you completely. your thighs almost tremble with want with the first press of your daddy’s best friends palm against the opposite thigh, helping to hold you open as he admires the already damp spot on your panties.
“but she seems to like this, don’t you, pretty girl?” geto’s words are still smooth despite the way his fingers squeeze in your skin as he leans forward, letting himself press a quick kiss against your clothed pussy before he exhales against you— like he’s taking his first breath of fresh air in years.
the sounds that leave you are humiliating as he pushes deeper into you, letting his tongue tease along the damp fabric— pressing into the swollen bump of your clit all while your step dad holds you in place. your thighs and hips quake, as do your lungs with every staggered inhale you take— you can barely breathe with the way he drinks you up, tongue rolling and curling through your folds so expertly you wouldn’t believe there was still a layer between you both.
you jolt, tremble and gojo knows you’re already close as he curls over you — letting you feel the heavy press of his cock against your lower back as he suckles wet kisses along your throat from behind. “make sure you’re good for sugu, alright, sweet thing.” his words are hissed through his teeth as he rocks into you slightly, pushing his bestfriend’s mouth even deeper between your thighs before his fingers finally hook underneath the fabric of your panties to pull them aside.
“but gotta remember you’re daddy’s girl.” it’s growled, timed well with the way geto’s tongue finally presses against the now exposed skin of your folds, cutting through the glistening petals as he suckles and smacks at the mess. you can’t help but arch back into your stepdad, urging him to let his free hand palm at your tits, twisting and flicking at the raised skin of your nipples through his shirt until you’re whining so greedily for more.
“mmm, see.. so sensitive f’ only me.” his words urge you to turn to meet him and you can taste the possessiveness in gojo’s words when he’s suddenly pushing them between your lips as he kisses you, messy and driven even more by the way geto’s mouth is wrapped around you all while he watches. his long fingers clasp gently around one of your nipples before he pulls and you feel lightheaded with how close you are, feeling the flames of your orgasm lick at your spine as you feel his clothed cock press languidly into you from behind as he licks into your mouth.
“daddy.. please.” you beg against him and the man pulls away to chuckle smugly, suddenly as your chest expands with every shakey breath you struggle to take. you’re so close, you feel too hot for your skin but just as geto closes his lips around your clit to suckle — he pulls away, cheeks wet with slick as he breathes out your step dads name.
“i only needed another second, satoru.”
“nope, times up.” gojo mutters playfully and if you couldn’t feel just how affected he was by this you’d assume he wasn’t at all with how giddy he sounds, but then his attention turns back to you.
“you gonna show him how sweet you are for daddy now? i knew my sweet girl wouldn’t let him tease me like this.”
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hungharrington · 26 days
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Ok hear me out casual intimacy with Steve!! Like imagine the first time u shower together and u just wash his hair for him! The first time u change in front of him or wen ur wearing an oversized t shirt and like skimpy panties and go over to the couch where he is and sit in his lap it's the moments where it's such so much trust and love low key him realizing how comfy u are around him and how much u trust him he gets turned on
Brushing ur teeth together at his place? Man is half hard already
ohooooo casual intimacy IS his turn on you’re so goddamn right — this is just like, sweet domesticity <3 and steve then gets turned on by it hehehe + fade to black smut
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There had been a period of time after you got together where Steve sometimes wondered if you were ever going to properly relax around him. Like truly relax.
Not that he minded in the least! Watching you avert your gaze nervously, feeling your face glow all hot when he calls you honey, feeling the little tremble in your fingers when you hold his hand— Steve adores it all.
He knows it means you like him. And Steve likes you too.
He likes you a whole bunch— like a lot a lot, okay? In fact, if he probably told you how much he likes you, you’d probably melt and hide under the covers and never return. Which Steve doesn’t ever want.
So you’re a bit reserved and Steve’s still crazy for you and it works. But basically, he never really expected to get this.
“D’ya wanna, like, maybe, shower together?”
Steve blinks, his towel in one hand and his heart pounding in his chest. Did you just say that? He blinks again, just to be sure.
You’re staring at him from your place on his bed, probably being the bravest you’ve ever been considering what you’ve just asked him.
“Yeah- yes. Of course.” He stammers out before you can get too shy on him. “I’ll go get another towel.”
It doesn’t take long for him to snag another from the linen cupboard but by the time he’s back, he can hear the spray of the shower. You’ve left a trail of clothes leading up to it. Something warm stirs in his chest.
He doesn’t make a big deal about it and you seem grateful for it. Beyond the odd complaint about hogging the water, to which Steve sticks his tongue out at you before switching, it’s almost like an ordinary shower. Washing up, wetting his hair.
Except, y’know, til you offer to wash it.
I swear to god do not get a boner right now, Steve thinks desperately to himself, his head ducked down so you could reach it more easily. You’re not making it easy for him. You’re paying him so much attention, your fingertips soothing along his scalp as you lather up the shampoo, massaging the skin. It’s heaven.
Steve doesn’t think he’s ever seen you this relaxed whilst the two of you have no clothes on.
You’ve been trying not to be so iffy about being naked but honestly Steve didn’t care if you were forever. He likes you any way he can get you.
Usually, the lead up to sex is the only time Steve gets to see you naked— when it’s all charged air and an eager energy to start making each other feel good. Hot kisses and a feverish vision of pleasure.
But this… this is different. There’s no charged energy, just a low buzz of love.
You cup your hands over his eyes so shampoo doesn’t get in them when you tilt his head back to rinse it and Steve nearly cries then and there. He’s never been so happy to return a favour, letting you lean up against him as he soaps up your hair. He’s pretty sure your eyes are closed the whole time. It feels good, taking care of you. It makes him happy.
Afterward, as you towel off, Steve keeps expecting that familiar shyness to creep in.
He’s not watching, okay? But as he gets himself dressed, just in his pyjama pants, it doesn’t go unnoticed that you’re not scrambling to cover up. Instead, you’re at ease, slipping on your panties and then one of his own large t-shirts. You must’ve stolen it when he wasn’t in the room.
It makes him pause, a momentary gawk, before he remembers to close his mouth. You catch the end of it and a flustered expression crosses your face, as if realising how much you’re exposing yourself. And that just won’t do— so Steve remedies it with a kiss, dragging you over to him by the waist so he can lean up against the counter and kiss you sweetly.
You both have wet hair. Your skin is all dewey from the shower and your eyelashes look extra long when they’re wet. You’re fucking beautiful.
It’s all Steve can think as you both brush your teeth in the mirror— making eye contact every couple of seconds and grinning like goofballs. It’s not productive. Steve adores it.
You’re both half-dressed, you without pants and Steve without his shirt, and it’s so damn homey, so cozy, so in love, that it makes Steve’s chest a little tight, in a good way. It’s intimate. You trust him.
Oh my god, He thinks. You trust him.
His pants grow tight. The flimsy material of his pyjamas hide nothing. Steve holds one hand in front of his crotch and looks to the ceiling for strength, because there’s no way you won’t be able to notice.
You lean over and spit out your toothpaste and then look at him through the mirror.
“Steve?”
“Yah?” He gargles back, toothbrush still in his mouth, eyes still on ceiling. His cock thickens a little more in his pants, blood getting a little hotter.
“Are you…?”
He gives a big sigh through his nose, “Yah.”
He finally forces himself to met your eyes through the mirror and you’re… smiling? Almost mischievously. Oh god.
“Because… of the teeth brushing?”
Steve rolls his eyes but the embarrassed flush on his cheeks still gives him away. He leans over and spits his toothpaste, wiping at his mouth with the back of his hand.
“No, not cos of the— well, not just cos of the—“ He cuts himself off, the blush on his face beginning to spread down his neck. “Look, you washed my hair and you’re not wearing any pants! We’re brushing our teeth together! I like it, okay?”
In a complete reversal of the usual, suddenly Steve’s the flustered one and you’re the cool, calm one. Your smile only grows at his explanation, some of the mischief exchanging for fondness.
“That’s okay,” You say softly. You press up on your toes to kiss his cheek and wander towards the door. “Do you wanna cuddle tonight?”
Steve’s cock gets harder at your words and he groans, because he knows you know what you’re doing— especially when you laugh a little, a cheeky sound. You’re playing into his in-love fantasy, his domestic dream, that somehow has a direct line to his dick now, which is probably most definitely a problem for later.
“You know I do.”
“Well, c’mon then, loverboy,” You coo.
Steve chases you from the bathroom all the way to his sheets, your laughter louder and more beautiful than anything.
And he does get his cuddles —y’know, after he fucks your brains out.
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neptnszn · 24 days
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waking up horny in the dead of night with SUGURU GETO as your boyfriend is actual hell sometimes
i just know that this man has the worst attitude when really tired. who can blame him? being a guy as hot as he is cannot be easy.
“girl—” suguru would grunt and turn back over after shaking him awake for dick. for dick. yeah self-inflicted really. other times he wouldn't say anything at all, just shoot you a nasty look.
but a girl has her needs.
“baby please?” you try again, perching your chin onto his buff arm. “the dream was a little too detailed.” a small pout forms on your puckered lips.
“that isn't my fault,” suguru counters, the soft bass in his voice resounding in your shared bedroom. “you couldn't have waited until there was light outside?”
you shake your head.
“must be tough. good night, sweetheart.”
this man. you groan out an exasperated ‘suguru!’ and curve over his form, staring at him as if he can see you through his closed eyelids.
“no, y/n.”
“i’ll top?”
you lied.
you knew damn well you couldn't be bothered to ride him to an orgasm at two in the morning and so did suguru. so when he scoffed and muttered “roll over.” you were grinning victoriously.
“I don't belive you.” suguru hissed, lifting up your hoodie over your hips and feeling up the skin of your ass.
“sorry, sugu’.” you're breathless already when he starts spreading the globes of your ass apart to take a good look at your cunt through low lidded eyes with the sleep and arousal still weighing them down. suguru merely tutted, wrapping a hand around his bobbing cock to push his tip in for the second time tonight.
you tensed as you sunk your head into the pillow in front of you. suguru had a big dick. you knew that much from the time you caught wind of what his attitude was like. nonchalant, quiet confidence, tall, pretty large hands. You'd be surprised if he didn't.
“y/n..if you don't relax. I can't move if you're trying to crush me.” you roll your eyes—so dramatic.
you ease up, but quickly choke on your breath when he slides all the way in, filling you with his thick inches. your pussy flutters at the intrusion, squeezing suguru again. “shiittt baby..” yeah—he undoubtedly missed that.
and when suguru sees your ass ripple and hips jump forward with every deep thrust, he suddenly thinks that he made a good decision.
but he was still fucking tired.
“mm-mm, don't run from me, sweetheart. you wanted me to give it to you, so take it—take this dick ‘fore I take it away.”
“you're so needy, can't even let a man sleep.”
“pretty girl just can't stop creamin’ all over me, so cute.”
“listen t'thaat, it's like your pussy's doin’ all the talking. have i made you dumb already, sweetheart?
for someone who’s so fatigued, he can't seem to shut up at all. mumbling and groaning nastiness all up in your ear like he's drunk on your pussy. suguru thinks he just might be.
he's got a firm grip on your hair and one digging into the fat of your hip, balls thwacking against your sticky cunt. suguru's strokes are mean, every ridge of his cock rubbing against your cushy walls. you're actually drooling, the dizzying mixture of exhaustion and pleasure making you float higher than the pearly gates. Yet with the way your hole squelches when he goes real deep..and his fat tip grinds on that one spot, you're going anywhere but heaven.
You don't even have to say it, suguru knows. suguru knows you're about to cum when he can feel you sporadically squeeze him and when your moans get longer and higher against the pillow you bury yourself into.
“gonna cum already?” he's giggling, the trembles of your ankles and the way your fist tightens not going unnoticed by him. “fuck me back, then. show me how bad you wanna cum on me.” he stops all motion before yawning out loud, a lazy hand reaching his face to cover his mouth. how sexy.
pressing your lips together, you brace your hands out in front of you and swing your ass back on suguru. you were on thin ice right now, and with his snarky attitude, he literally might just leave you high and dry.
your knees are unsteady and shaky but you persevere, looking over your shoulder to see jet black strands hang over his face and shoulders, and amber eyes steeled on where you two connect. his lips are parted slightly as he huffs out a gravelly groan.
“yeah, jus’ like that. fuck me.” suguru praises, words sliding over each other slightly. he picks up the pace again, balls tightening as his head hangs low. he listens to your drawn out moans, sounding more like broken sobs with each stroke he gives you and it makes him dizzy. “‘m gonna cum, i'm gonna cum.” he's whining now.
“inside, sugu’—don't stop!” you beg as you spasm around him, milking your boyfriend.
suguru huffs out a laugh, a lazy grin stretches on his lips. he loves seeing you needy and mind-fucked like this—it scratches an itch deep in his soul. “alright. stay still f'me sweetheart—gonna give it to ya how you like.”
a shattered whimper rips from your throat as he pushes his hips all the way forward, and rams himself all the way in so his cock bullies that spot, the one that makes your cunt gush.
“o-ohh, my god! right there..’s right there, ‘m gonna cuumm..” you wail but he shushes you, the volume of your moans making him wince.
“make a mess pretty girl,” he grunts before his jaw goes slack and ropes of his sticky load flood your cunt. “fuuuckk..” but he doesn't stop—he powers through his orgasm and into overstimulation. suguru smiles when your eyes roll back and your limbs go limp, wailling into the satin pillowcase as you cum and cream onto him.
you think you black out for a second with your ears ringing and heart hammering in your chest. knees falling flat, your entire body slumps forward into the mattress as the aftershocks of your orgasm shoot through you like lightning. you could practically feel the beads of sweat sliding down your body underneath your hoodie.
when a warm and wet rag slides against your slit and inner thighs, you glance behind you and see an entirely spent suguru. he's continuously yawning while he pulls your flimsy underwear back up, before tossing the damp towel into the dirty laundry basket.
“thank you sugu’,” a satisfied sigh escapes your lips as he tucks you into his embrace, yet all suguru can do is scoff. you couldn't help but giggle at his annoyance, smiling like a cat who got the cream.
literally.
“next time, I'll just ignore you and get my well deserved sleep,” he spits, resting his chin atop your head.
totally worth it.
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pupkashi · 9 months
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oranges
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gojo knows how to peel oranges
a/n: just something simple inspired by the poem oranges by jean little, i cried the first time i read it, hope you guys enjoy <3
wordcount: 843
masterlist
there was a lot you did for satoru.
you helped ground him, reminded him to drink water, made him food, taught him how to fold clothes and do laundry, showed him all your favorites- from places to eat and videos to play.
you reminded him what love felt like, your tender touches late at night, gentle thumb pads wiping away hot tears, soft whispers and proclamations of love.
satoru always wondered what he did for you.
he didn’t think much of the quality time he’d spend with you, he thought that was a given. he often brushed past the shower of compliments he gave you daily, figuring that was the standard. the little gestures of holding doors open, buying you flowers, remembering your favorite candle scent and buying your shampoo seemed too natural to him for it to be considered and outward act of love.
“you want some oranges?” you asked, looking at him with a smile from the kitchen.
“i could go for some oranges” he replies, getting up from the couch and joining you in the kitchen, taking an orange in his hand.
his thumbs easily tear into through the peel, gently digging his finger and separating it seamlessly from the sweet fruit, continuing his motion until the peel comes completely off, all in one piece.
you on the other hand, are putting too much force into your thumb, your finger piercing straight into the flesh of the fruit, shrieking when the juice gets on your face a bit.
“how do you always peel it so neatly? i have never once been able to” you huff, setting the now punctured Orange on a towel, washing your hands in the sink before drying them off.
“cmon sweetheart it really isn’t that hard!” satoru grins, taking your orange and easily peeling it apart neatly. “you have to do this, and then… get it there and boom!” his smile widening as he stares at you, a pout on your lips and an annoyed look in your eyes.
“yeah yeah mr. ‘I’m so good at everything’” you tease, tasking the orange from his hand and munching on a piece. “they’re sweet today” you smile, putting both your pieces and satoru’s in a bowl, heading back to the couch the two of you were on.
two weeks later the two of you are cooking dinner, reading off the recipe and realizing the dish called for an orange.
“can you hand me an orange?” you ask, turning around and thanking him as he hands it to you. you were determined to not make a mess this time, it’s just an orange after all.
but as gentle as you were, the peel wouldn’t budge, and the little force you applied proved to be just a little too much as your fingers pierced through the flesh again. you groaned in frustrations satoru already taking it from his hands, a smile on his face as he so easily peeled it.
“coulda just asked” he hums, handing you the orange, you’re glaring at him, giggling when he misses your nose.
“thank you angel boy,” you mumble, chopping the orange and adding it in.
one year later you’re sitting together in a grassy field, the wild blowing past the two of you, your laughter and love filled gazes scattered in the wind.
“i got some oranges from the market today!” you grin, taking them out of the wicker basket and showing them to your snowy haired lover. “you owe me breakfast in bed if i can finally peel this damn citrus fruit” you wager, satoru easily sitting back, a small smirk on his face as he nodded.
“I’ll do so breakfast in bed for a month if you peel it in one piece” your eyes widen at his proposition, nodding before looking at the fruit in your hands.
it’s only ten seconds later that you’re throwing yourself back, saying the fruit was obviously defective because ‘there’s no way the peel was that easy to cut through!’
satoru takes the oranges from you, peeling them perfectly and separating them into neat sections.
“I’m glad i have you to peel my citrus” you smile one night, taking the mandarin slices from his hand and humming in delight as the sweet taste hits your tastebuds.
“I’ll always peel your oranges for you” he replies, voice soft, his blue eyes seem a little lighter and his face a bit more relaxed as he looks at you.
it’s been years since then, and you never learned to peel oranges, the times you’d attempt to, juice would get everywhere and the peel coming off in chunks, the aftermath looked like an orange massacre.
satoru’s heart flutters when he sees the citrus fruit, knowing you’ll hand it to him, for him to peel for you. he knows you’ll always ask him to do this for you.
satoru is grateful everyday that you can’t peel oranges, because with the boundless things you do for him, he knows this is the one thing he’ll always be able to do for you.
taglist (send an ask to be added!): @chilichopsticks @anime-for-the-sleepless @4sat0ruu @safaia-47 @nanamikentoseyebags @fushironi @nineooooo @the-mom-friend-dot-com @luna0713hunter @torusmochi
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marriedtobigfoot · 8 months
Text
Steve ends up heartbroken, lonely and depressed after season 2. Nancy called him bullshit, even after he ditched all his old friends for her. Billy Hargrove took his spot at the top of the food chain. He can have it, Steve doesn't really want it anymore. But Steve does want to find some sort of connection. Someone to have in his life who isn't an 11 year old kid he barely knows. He tries to go on a date one night, take a nice-seeming girl to a party. He wants to find connection, to kill the loneliness that's been building for months, but just as he's feeling kind of good about things, his date ditches him.
So. He decides to drink his feelings. He gets majorly fucked up, and ends up laying on the ground in the backyard, contemplating how much life seems to hate him.
Only to literally get tripped over by Eddie Munson, who was at this party selling pot and is very confused as to why Steve Harrington is alone on the ground with a bottle of vodka clenched in one hand.
Eddie ends up chatting a little with Steve, nothing substantial, but enough to know that Steve is very very drunk, and also very very sad.
He asks if Steve wants to go back to the party, and Steve staunchly refuses. He doesn't want to be around a bunch of annoyingly happy people.
He asks if Steve needs a ride home, and Steve just kind of shrugs. His parents just left for another trip, so home is kind of depressing right now too. But he doesn't exactly have any other friends he can stay with so. Home it'll have to be.
Only Eddie can *tell* he doesn't really want to go home, though he has no idea why Steve wouldn't want to return to his veritable mansion after a shitty night. The reason doesn't matter much. He offers to let Steve crash at his place. Steve can take the couch, or hell he can stay in Eddie's room if he doesn't mind sharing, that way he wouldn't risk being woken up when Wayne comes home that morning.
And well, Steve agrees. Can't think of any reason not too. Munson has been nice so far, he's got a good easy-going energy that Steve likes. Why not stay the night.
By the time they get to Eddie's, Steve is *slightly* more sober. Not much, but he's slurring his words a little less, and he can walk with only a little help.
Eddie grabs them each a little plate of leftovers, because he has no idea if Steve's eaten at all. It's quiet while they eat, Eddie doesn't push Steve to talk, and Steve isn't sure what to say. Eventually Eddie sets the plates aside and give Steve an easy grin.
"So, do you want the couch, or are you crashing with me?"
Steve thinks about it for a while. He hasn't shared a bed with a guy-friend since he was a kid, and he's heard rumors about Eddie, whispers in the hall about the way he looks at other guys. But...Steve can't really bring himself to care. He's tired, and he really doesn't want to be alone.
"I don't mind sharing."
Eddie sets them both up in his room, letting Steve choose which side of the bed he wants, and they both settle in. There's a respectable distance between the two of them, and Eddie says a quick goodnight to Steve, figures they won't talk and just go right to bed.
Except Steve isn't sober, and he really isn't in a good headspace, so he can't stop himself from blurting things out into the quiet of the dark room.
"Are you really gay?"
Eddie stiffens next to him, he can feel it, he can hear the way that the other boys breath cuts off and he seems to stop breathing all-together.
"It's okay if you are, I'm not going to be an asshole about it, I'm trying not to be that guy anymore. I guess I was just curious."
It's quiet for another beat before Eddie seems to loosen just a little. He starts breathing again at least.
"Yeah I uh- I am. Gay. And if that's weird the couch is still open, I can-"
"It's not weird."
"Okay."
Steve let's himself mull over this confirmation, and then his mouth starts moving again, without his permission.
"Is it lonely? Cause I mean, it's got to be hard to date in Hawkins. People here are shitty. Unless you've got like, a secret boyfriend or something."
"No...no secret boyfriend. It does get a little lonely sometimes. I'm lucky though, I've got my uncle, and my friends are pretty great. That's enough most days."
"What do you do when it's not enough?"
"Hmmm?"
"When your uncle and friends aren't enough, what do you do? To try and...make it better?"
Eddie is quiet again for a long stretch before he shrugs.
"I try to focus on something else. I'll play my guitar or work on a new campaign, read a book. Something to take my mind off it."
"Oh."
Now Steve is the one who seems tense, his jaw is tight and he's got his arms wrapped around himself. His next words come out as a whisper, but Eddie manages to catch them.
"I don't know how to do any of that."
He sounds almost choked, and Eddie is caught off guard. He's never seen Steve Harrington as anything other than solid, as happy. He's the king, after all. He's supposed to be all smiles and great hair. Only...Eddie's noticed that he hasn't hung out with his old friends lately, that he's eaten alone at lunch too many times to be anything other than strange.
"Steve...are you lonely?"
Eddie expects a denial, for Steve to laugh it off and tell Eddie that he's perfectly fine and fulfilled. Or maybe he expects a shrug, a non-answer. What he doesn't expect is the gut-wrenching sob that seems to tear past the other boys lips.
He doesn't expect to turn and see Steve Harrington's face, a scant foot from his, shining with tears.
He panics a little at the sight.
"Fuck- I'm so sorry-"
"Don't be." Steve tries to wipe his eyes, to hide the tremble in his voice. "Not your fault there's something wrong with me."
"What do you mean?"
"It's like I'm broken man, like nobody can stand to be around me. Tommy and Carol hate me now, Nancy- hell even my own parents hate being at home with me for more than a week. It's like I'm repellent or something. Couldn't even get a date to stick around for a whole night."
And Eddie's pretty sure *he* might start crying now. He'd never have expected this much from Steve, all that sadness to come pouring out. It wouldn't have happened if Steve was completely sober. Without thinking, he reaches out.
Eddie puts a hand on Steve's shoulder and waits to see if the touch gets rejected, but Steve seems to lean into him, so he lets his hand linger.
"This probably won't help, but I don't think you're repellent. And that's coming from somebody who your whole group used to torture. I don't know much about you, but I kind of liked having you around tonight."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah."
Steve gives him a tiny smile. His eyes are still wet with tears, and the smile doesn't come close to reaching them. He seems impossibly small here in Eddie's bed.
"I don't know man. I just wish-"
He cuts himself off, apparently deciding his words are too far, but Eddie urges him to keep talking.
"What do you wish Steve?"
"I just wish that... there was somebody out there I could have a future with. Somebody who actually loved me, you know?"
It might be the saddest thing Eddie's ever heard, and he blames that fact for what he does next.
He takes his hand off Steve's shoulders and instead hauls Steve closer to him, fitting the other boy against his chest and wrapping his arms around him. It's a move that might get him decked, but he doesn't think it will. And he'll be damned if he doesn't hug Steve right that second.
He doesn't get hit. Steve tenses for a second, but it's just that one instant before he's melting into the embrace.
Eddie feels more tears falling against his shirt, and he couldn't care less. He keeps Steve close, let's him cry into his chest, runs a hand through that famous mop of hair.
He isn't sure how long it takes for Steve to calm down, but eventually he does. His breathing evens out, and he shivers a little before speaking.
"Thanks man."
And Eddie takes another leap of faith.
"I could be that person, you know."
"What?"
"I mean. You know Im... not straight. It may not be exactly what you're wanting but. I think I could picture a future with you. If you want to, just for tonight...I could be that someone who loves you."
Steve looks at Eddie, like he's a puzzle that he needs to solve, before a other shiver seems to wrack his body.
"Just for tonight?"
It comes out as a whisper, but Eddie hears it all the same.
"Yeah. For tonight Steve."
"I think...I think I'd like that."
Eddie gives him the sweetest smile he can muster, and nods.
"Alright sweetheart."
Eddie isn't exactly sure what it means, to love Steve for the night. After all, Steve is straight. He figures it doesn't matter much though, it's only for a night.
He keeps a hold on Steve, let's him get comfortable tucked against Eddie, and he does what feels natural. He runs a hand up and down Steve's spine, traces shapes into the soft fabric of his shirt. He tangles their legs together, and in a moment of insane bravery he presses a kiss to the top of Steve's head.
He's met with a sigh, full of relief, and figures he's on the right track.
"Just close your eyes Stevie, I've got you."
"Can you tell me about it?"
"Hmmm?"
"The future. You said you could see one. Can you tell me?"
And he asks so carefully, he sounds almost afraid, Eddie can't say no to that.
"Do you want the fantasy future, or the realistic future?"
"The real one."
"Alright then. Well, if I'm not going to be a rich and famous rockstar...I'll probably graduate and get a job somewhere in town. A real job, maybe working on cars or something. I'm good with cars. You'd come over all the time, have dinners with me and with Wayne. You'd have to meet Wayne. And we'd have more nights like this, sleeping close."
Steve let's out a pleased sounding hum, and shifts his face so it's buried even closer in Eddie's neck. He can feel Steve's breath on him.
"We could save up money and get a little place together, somewhere outside Hawkins. I have to stay kind of close, for my uncle, but maybe Indy?"
Steve nods, mutters something about staying close 'just in case'. He sounds like he might fall asleep, so Eddie keeps going.
"We could get an apartment, nothing too fancy. We would get two rooms, so nobody gets suspicious, but we would share a bed most nights. I'd play with my band on weekends, just for fun, and you'd join some little local sports team. I'd make sure to schedule DND nights so that I never miss a single game, even though I don't understand a damn thing about sports. We would come home for holidays, but most of the time it would just be us. I'd take good care of you, make sure you never go more than a few hours without me telling you I love you. I'll show up wherever you're working just to give you a hug and a kiss, and make sure you don't forget it. And I'll annoy the hell out of, but you won't mind too much, because I'll make you happy too."
Eddie can think of more. He can think about so many things. How he could give Steve one of his rings, even if they couldn't legally get married, even if Steve would never want that. Just as another reminder that he's loved. They could take trips together and go out to parties where Steve will never have to worry about getting ditched. Eddie doesn't do things halfway, and he has a hell of an imagination. He could picture them growing old together, if he tried, if he let himself. But this is just for tonight, so he doesn't. Instead he runs a hand through Steve's hair again, and listens to his quiet breathing. He thinks he may have fallen asleep, but he's wrong.
"That sounds nice."
It comes out muffled, spoken into Eddie's neck, but he manages to make it out, and he let's the vibration of it sink into his skin.
*It's only for tonight.*
He has to remind himself, because Steve is just feeling lonely. He doesn't want that future with Eddie, he just wants to feel loved.
But even if it's just pretend, just to help Steve for a few hours, he's okay with that.
Steve may think he's broken, but Eddie thinks he would be easy to love for a long time. Loving him for one night is nothing. He doesn't even have to try.
Tomorrow Steve will wake up sober, and he'll thank Eddie for letting him stay over, and they won't talk about it. Eddie will drive Steve back to his car in silence, and they'll say their goodbyes. They may not talk ever again, they never had before.
But for tonight? Eddie Munson will love Steve Harrington, and Steve? He'll let himself be loved, let himself beleive it. And he'll love Eddie right back.
Just for one night.
And if Steve ever needs it again? Eddie will love him for another night. And Steve will give that love right back. He's got plenty to spare, after all. And there's far worse people he could share it with.
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earlgreyflowers · 4 months
Note
Public sex with oscar, other people getting off on it without them knowing or like them getting caught or maybe even oscar cuming in yn secretly in front of everyone, just anything voyeur with oscar please 😭
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People would never ever guess the things that you and Oscar got up to behind closed doors, and even sometimes open ones. Oscar always got off on the idea of people seeing what he does to you, showing them how well he knows your body. They never question it when his driver’s room door is conveniently left unlocked whilst you celebrate his race, or when he licks his fingers after his hand comes up from below the table at dinner.
Sure they notice how affectionate he is, kissing your cheek and wrapping his arms around you from behind. But they’ve never heard the filthy words he whispers to you about how easy it would be to lift up your little skirt and stuff you full. Or so you thought.
Lando is the first to notice, given the amount of time he spends around you both. He notices the way Oscar often has a hand on you, leaning in too often to whisper something discreetly in your ear. It was at dinner that the truth first came together. Oscar’s hand had been under the table for a while, him eating his dessert with just one hand. You however, hadn’t eaten an ounce of yours. When Lando looked over to you he noticed how flushed you were, how your eyelids fluttered and how your lips seemed more tempting you than the dessert.
His eyes trailed over you, following them down to where Oscar’s hand seemingly rested on your legs. From his vantage point he could see the way Oscar’s arm was flexing rhythmically, his hand moving ever so slightly. His eyes widened as he realised what his shy teammate was doing. He won’t lie and say the thought didn’t have him straining against his jeans slightly, especially when he spotted how calmly Oscar was watching him. Oscar winked at his teammate, a finger coming to his lips in a shh-ing motion. Lando swallowed dryly, nodding as he continued to glance all night, especially when Oscar licked his fingers clean.
Oscar had continued his public acts, often finding himself two fingers deep inside you as you struggled to stay quiet. But he loved the busy clubs, when the drivers booked a VIP booth and no one paid any attention to anything other than alcohol. After the end of his first season in Formula One he was itching to celebrate, aching to get you alone. Once Oscar realised this was unlikely to happen, he’s formed a plan. A plan that culminated in this moment, you on his lap in a club, whilst some other occupants of the grid watched on.
Lando again had been the first to notice, your cheeks flushing at Oscar’s words. “Imagine being stuffed full in this club, nobody would know how deep I am inside you baby.” He cooed in your ear, large hands sliding up and down your exposed legs. It took George and Fernando arriving with more shots for you to agree, firm in your decision that everyone else was preoccupied.
You wriggled in Oscar’s lap, finding a comfortable position that didn’t look too suspicious. You hovered over him as he slipped his member out of his jeans. He bit back a groan as you slid yourself down, your warm walls encasing him. “So fucking tight aren’t you?” He whispered in your ear, “Such a slut for me.” You whimper lightly, burying your head in his neck as you start a subtle grinding motion against him.
“That’s it, use me where anyone could see you. Do you like that idea?” Oscar coos, “That anyone here could look over and see how needy and desperate you are.” His hands squeeze your hips as he rolls you against him, groaning in your ear at the feeling if you wrapped around him. Oscar’s grateful for the booming music, grateful that no-one can hear you moaning for him. You hear Oscar chuckle lightly from your position, looking up at him in confusion. “Don’t stop sweetheart, but we have a small audience.” Oscar tells you, your heart stopping at his words.
He smirks at the way your walls clench around him before beckoning the audience member over. You hear someone sit next to the pair of you behind the table, Oscar greeting him with a nod. “Took you a while to notice this time mate.” Oscar says, your ears barely picking up the scoff of your new admirer.
“Keeping her hidden that’s why Oscar, you know I like to see her face. See what you do to her.” Lando’s voice causes a flush to overtake you, your hips grinding harder against Oscar. He groans once more, head tilting back at the feeling of you on top of him. “Oh she’s getting you good this time isn’t she?” Lando laughs, licking his lips as he watches you move.
“You have no idea,” Oscar smirks, “She’s an angel.” He tells his teammate. You whine into his neck as Oscar’s hand wraps in your hair. He tugs lightly, your face emerging from its hiding spot. “I want you to look at Lando baby, he likes your pretty little face.” Oscar mutters, stroking your cheek gently as he grinds his cock into you. Once you make eye contact with Lando your pace increases, joined now by Oscar’s thumb on your clit. Your moan of his name catches the attention of another driver, the warmth of his body emanating from behind you.
“Roped Lando into your little kink too have you?”
The American accent of Logan fills your ears, a soft smile spreading over your lips at the familiar audience member. “It’s hot isn’t it Lando? The way she’d do anything for him. You should see them behind closed doors, absolutely filthy.” Logan muses, hand resting on your hip as he helps you move over his best friend.
“You really should come watch Lando, she loves the extra pair of eyes.” Oscar tells his teammate, “You think she’s dirty now? Wait ‘til you see her on all fours with my dick in her mouth. It’s art.” You can’t help but moan at his words, squirming at the way the three men discuss you. It’s when Lando smiles at the thought of watching you both in private, nodding at Oscar’s proposal, that you tumble over the edge.
Your legs quake and your eyes flutter shut at the feeling. Your walls clench around Oscar as he bites his lip, stifling the loud moan threatening to spill out. You attempt to hide your face once more but Lando holds your head still, studying your face as you cum for his teammate. Oscar grinds into you deeper, the rhythmic clenching driving him to his own orgasm. He shoots his load inside you, whimpering in sensitivity as Logan continues to move your hips.
The pair of you come down with heavy breaths and flushed cheeks, before eventually leaving the club. Trailed by Logan and Lando for a night you’ll never forget.
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tender-rosiey · 10 months
Note
First of all I love how kind you’ve been to non English speaking anon because as someone who had to learn English, it’s not easy!
Second of all I feel like we don’t see enough fics of jjk men rescuing us from danger! Like imagine gojo saving us from a curse and being like “you know there are better ways to get my attention?” IDUNNO I FELT THE NEED TO SHARE THIS ISDEA 😭
one more — gojo satoru x f!reader
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a/n: it’s nothing <3 a lot of us, including myself, were in there place before so it should be the normal to be patient with them <3
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you’re done for, completely and utterly done for.
you’re going to die today and it won’t be because of being stabbed by someone or something normal. no. you were going to get eat by, possibly, the most disgusting and slimy creature you’ve ever seen.
you don’t falter and still fight though, thrashing around in its hold, “let me go you two-toed slimy sewer looking rat!”
the curse seems to have taken great offense to your words cause it frowns then starts swinging you around. It would probably sue you if it could but it settles for preparing to eat you. you start screaming and letting your colorful vocabulary of curses at it.
your cursed technique long forgotten since lo and behold that curse was your natural enemy. so you have nothing to do except to curse it out till it starts crying or something.
just before you’re dropped in its mouth, a figure swiftly catches you and teleports you somewhere safe, a little far away from said curse. you look up and are met with a grinning gojo, “y’know…there are better ways to get my attention than this.”
he leans down and presses a kiss to your forehead, “you don’t need to be in danger for me to notice you, sweets.”
you snap out of your daze, “I wasn’t trying to get your attention!” you huff as you try to get down but his hold on you doesn’t falter, “oh great, I am released from the shackles of a curse only to be trapped in yours.”
he pouts, pulling you closer and nuzzling your noses together, “aw come on now; I deserve a kiss for this, wifey.”
you shake your head and he sulks, turning to walk away from the scene. you look at the curse then up at him like he has grown two heads, “satoru, what’re you doing?”
“I am not fighting until you give me a kiss.”
you gasp and turn to look at the curse once again. it is contained and won’t harm anyone but you can’t just leave it like that so you look back at your crazy attention-loving husband, “you can’t be serious.”
“I am one hundred percent serious,” he announces but he stops, smirking at you, “so?”
he should be smacked for his smugness but that will be saved for later especially when he continues talking, “I was the brave and strong husband who just saved you, after all.”
so you take a hold of his collar and pull him down, smashing your lips against his. he kisses you back instantly and you guys keep at it a for a while until you smack his shoulder, remembering that there is a curse roaming around.
“that wasn’t so hard now, was it?” he says after pulling back, grinning from ear to ear.
you pat his cheek softly and roll your eyes, “haha, very funny,” you point at the audacious curse, “now go deal with it!”
he puts you down then salutes, “yes ma’am!”
satoru then turns around to walk towards it but he suddenly stops in his track. you, who sat on the ground with your favorite drink that satoru got, groan, “what is it now?”
tilting his head so he can meet your eyes, he smiles, “what about one more kiss?”
you are about to reprimand him yet again but then he interrupts you, “on the cheek! so you don’t have to worry about it getting anywhere—at least not now!“
“I should put tape on your mouth so you shut up for a bit,” you stand up and walk towards him, “satoru, you make me think that I spoil you too much,” you hum, straightening his collar.
he puffs his chest with a pout, “is it bad that I want affection from my wife?”
you shake your head as you signal for him for him to bend down and he does so gladly, “no, but you need to get your priorities straight.”
he hums a thank you when you give him the anticipated kiss before he replies, “this is my priorities being straight.”
you roll your eyes with a chuckle, “then I have to explain to you how to prioritize correctly.”
he leans close, lips mere centimeters apart from your own, “a private lesson, huh? I don’t mind—“
you push him away with your index finger, “but later! you have a curse to deal with mister.”
reluctantly, he walks towards it, steps heavy. he looks back at you with a pout, trying to convince you once again, but you don’t falter. you’re already used to his antics and can resist them—to an extent.
giving up, satoru looks at the curse, “you ready to get beaten?”
the curses shakes its head quickly and satoru shrugs, “well, you will anyway,” the curse cries but satoru continues, “and in a heartbeat cause I have a pretty wife to get back to.”
the curses attempts to run away but satoru quickly blasts it and it’s nowhere to be found anymore.
a smile is plastered on his face and there is a spring in his step as he walks—or rather runs back to you, “date time, y/n!”
you don’t know why, but you run away, “but I wanna sleep!”
perhaps instinct.
there is no time to think about it, though, since satoru gasps offended before quickly responding, “we can just cuddle then,” he teleports right in front do you and you bump into his chest.
you grumble and he laughs while holding you up, “so what do you say? some cuddling will be pretty nice.”
“yeah, whatever,” you mumble as your arms wrap around him and you nuzzle into his chest. he presses a loud smooch to your head, ready for at least an hour of cuddling.
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copyright © tender-rosiey
do not copy or plagiarize or you will be reported
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steddiehyperfixation · 6 months
Text
don't you forget about me (steddie fic)
saw this post and was inspired to write something angsty <3
The first thing Eddie is aware of when he wakes up, before he even opens his eyes, is the dull, aching pain throbbing through pretty much his entire body. The second thing he’s aware of is that someone is holding his hand. 
“Eddie?” The hand in his tightens its grip as Eddie begins to stir; the voice it presumably belongs to sounds immeasurably relieved, yet only vaguely familiar. 
Eddie groans. His eyelids flutter, blinking awake, and he groggily rolls his head to the side to get a look at whoever had spoken. 
The voice sighs again, “Oh thank god-” 
“Harrington?” Eddie’s eyes fly open wide now as they land on the mystery man sitting beside him on the edge of the bed - a man he most definitely is not close enough with to be holding his hand, and a bed that is most definitely not his own. He snatches his hand away. “What the hell are you doing? Where am I?”
“Ed-” Another man’s voice, this one just as relieved and infinitely more familiar. It fills Eddie with relief too as he looks to his other side to find his uncle Wayne rising from a nearby chair to come up next to him. 
“Wayne, what-?” His surroundings are becoming more clear. “What happened? Why am I in a hospital? And why the fuck is King Steve at my bedside?” Eddie tries to sit up only to gasp and wince in pain as the dull ache in his sides sharpens to near agony at the movement. 
“Take it easy, son.” Wayne’s hand lands on his shoulder, gently but firmly pushing him back down onto the pillows. “You were hurt real bad.” 
“Yeah, I got that,” Eddie grumbles out. He sucks in a deep, intentional breath and exhales slowly, the pain beginning to dull again now that he’s settled. His questions are still largely unanswered, though. Blank mind reaching desperately for any logical piece to this bizarre puzzle, he turns an accusing glare to Harrington. “Did you land me in here? Is that why you’re here, some sort of weird guilt thing?” 
Harrington’s looking at him like a kicked puppy. “What? No, I-” he falters, takes a shaky breath and swallows painfully like he’s trying not to cry. “You don’t remember?” 
“I don’t remember what? Will someone just tell me what happened?” Eddie’s confusion is rising more and more into agitation with every second he remains without an explanation. 
“What’s the last thing you remember?” Harrington asks quietly.
“I was driving home from school, just found out I wasn’t gonna graduate again.” Eddie frowns as he thinks back, still trying to put pieces together. “Did I crash my car? Is that it? I was emotional and not paying attention and got into an accident?” 
Yet again, he receives no answers. 
“Eddie, what month is it?” Wayne asks instead, his tone dangerously measured and serious. “What year?” 
“May…” Eddie says warily, “1985.”
His words hold a weight he doesn’t understand, landing heavy on the others in the room and thickening the air. It sends a chill of dread down his spine, the way his answer etches concern deep into the lines of Wayne’s face, the way Steve Harrington seems to take it like a blow to the chest. 
Harrington exhales sharply as if he’s been punched, standing abruptly and taking a few stumbling steps back. Wayne says, “It’s April of ‘86, Ed.”
Eddie’s blood runs cold. “No. No, it can’t be.” 
“I’m gonna go tell the nurse you’re awake,” Harrington mumbles, his voice strained and his eyes glassy with barely held-back tears. 
“I’ll go,” Wayne offers, pushing himself away from Eddie’s bed. He gives Harrington a meaningful look, though what that meaning is, Eddie can’t decipher. 
Harrington turns his devastated gaze to the older man. “But, Wayne, he doesn’t-” 
“I know, kid.” Wayne gives a sad smile and places a sympathetic hand on Harrington’s shoulder as he passes by. “Just talk to him.” 
Eddie is thrown off by this familiarity between them. Since when were those two close? He feels like he’s entered some sort of parallel universe where everything is just ever so slightly wrong. It leaves an itch beneath his skin, uncomfortable and out of place, like he no longer quite fits in his own body, in his own life. He’s lost 11 months, apparently, and this world is no longer his; he doesn’t know where he fits into it anymore. 
Wayne leaves the room, and Eddie wants to protest: Don’t leave me here with this guy I don’t know in this time I don’t know, please, you’re the only thing that feels safe and familiar! Anxiety is crawling through him like a thousand tiny bugs in his veins. He wants to scream, he wants to cry, he wants to run. Anything to shake this feeling loose. But he’s confined to this bed, trapped both by his pain and by all these machines he’s hooked up to, and he sure as shit isn’t going to have a breakdown in front of Steve goddamn Harrington. 
Instead, Eddie resigns himself to this situation and casts a sideways glance at Harrington who very much looks like he’s also trying not to have a breakdown. “I’m freaking out, man,” Eddie says finally, hating how shaky and pathetic his voice sounds. “I swear to god, Harrington, if you don’t tell me what the hell is going on…” 
Harrington worries his lip between his teeth as he hesitates. “It’s a lot to explain.” 
“Yeah, I bet,” Eddie scoffs out a humorless laugh. “I’m missing nearly an entire year, of course it’s a lot to fill in. Unless I’ve been here this whole time?” 
“No.” Harrington shakes his head. “No, you’ve only been here about a week. I- I don’t know why you’re missing so much time, the whole Vecna thing only started like a week before that-” 
“Vecna?” Eddie interrupts to question. “What does any of this have to do with the D&D campaign I was planning? And, also, how the fuck do you know about that?” 
Harrington closes his eyes for a second and takes a breath, like having this conversation is the most painful thing he’s ever had to do. “I’m not talking about D&D, Ed. Vecna was a real-life monster from a real-life alternate dimension we called the Upside-Down. The kids only called him Vecna because we didn’t know who he was at the time and he, like, cursed people before he killed them, but he was actually Henry Creel, which is a whole other fucked up story.”
“Okay…” Eddie doesn’t know who ‘the kids’ are and he’s skeptical of the way Harrington talks so factually about monsters and dimensions and curses existing in the real world, but he does remember his uncle telling him stories about the demonic tragedy of the Creel family, which is the only thing that makes any of this even halfway believable. It still doesn’t explain how Eddie wound up in the hospital with his entire body feeling like it’d been run through a blender, though, or why the former king of Hawkin’s High was hovering over his sickbed. He gestures for Harrington to continue. 
“I never wanted you to get involved in all this Upside-Down shit,” Harrington’s voice breaks. He steps closer to Eddie’s bed again, and he looks so so sad as he stares down at him that it makes Eddie’s own heart ache, just a little bit. Harrington’s hand twitches at his side as if he means to reach out for Eddie but then thinks better of it, running the hand through his hair instead as he continues, “I tried to keep you from it for so long, I really did, but then Vecna killed Chrissy in your trailer and the whole town blamed you and you were just a part of things then, there was no getting around it. You helped us fight him - Vecna. You kept his army of bats off our ass while we weakened his body and El weakened his mind. If it weren’t for you we never would’ve defeated him and we certainly wouldn’t have all made it out alive.” Harrington’s gaze softens, as does his voice, his next words almost a whisper, “You were a hero, Eddie.” 
“That doesn’t sound like me,” Eddie says, like that’s the least plausible part of Harrington’s story. And, really, it is. He can wrap his mind around a lot of things: a murder in his trailer - sure, Forest Hills always was a shady place; the whole town accusing him of being a killer - yeah, of course, that tracks; even an evil wizard from another dimension with an army of bats - fine, okay, why the hell not. But Eddie Munson is no hero, and he’s definitely not any sort of fighter either.
“No, you never did think so, did you?” Harrington mutters with a sad sort of fondness and the barest trace of a wistful smile. “But it’s true. Dustin was in danger and you didn’t even think twice. You ran right into the fray without a second thought, sacrificed yourself so that the rest of us might survive. Those bats nearly killed you, b-” he breaks, choking on whatever word he was going to say. His eyes swim with yet more unshed tears. “I almost thought they had killed you, you know. I thought you were dead when I carried you out of the Upside-Down,” he admits shakily, choked up and barely managed, “and even when I brought you here and you were stable, I was still so scared you wouldn’t wake up…” 
Eddie doesn’t know how to react to any of that information or to such a display of emotion. His own hands twitch now with the urge to reach out and comfort him, but he too denies that instinct. He tries for humor instead, something lighter, cracking a grin and teasing, “Aw, Stevie, I didn’t know you cared.” 
Harrington makes a sound halfway between a sob and a laugh. “Oh, Ed, you have no idea.” 
“We were friends then, weren’t we?” Eddie guesses now, carefully. It’s rapidly becoming the only possible explanation for the guy’s behavior around him. “Before all the Vecna stuff?”
“Yeah,” Harrington manages, forcing a small, sad smile as his eyes finally overflow and streak his cheeks with tears. “Yeah, we were good friends.” 
~
Wayne reenters the room then with a nurse in tow, and Steve quickly turns away and rubs his hands over his face. He needs to pull himself together; he can’t break down right now, not yet, not here. 
He listens, distantly, as the nurse asks Eddie a bunch of questions and then tells the rest of them that she needs to take him in for some tests to determine the cause and prognosis of Eddie’s amnesia. He watches, numbly, as she wheels Eddie’s entire bed out of the room. 
Steve can barely hear, barely see, his emotion clouding his eyes and roaring in his ears. He stares blankly through the open doorway and struggles to swallow down the ever-rising lump in his throat. 
Wayne’s voice rumbles from somewhere beside him, but he can’t quite make out the words. “What?” 
“I’ll take that as a no, then,” Wayne says, the sound reaching Steve’s ears a little clearer now. “I asked if you were alright.” 
Steve shakes his head. His voice comes out coarse and raw, “‘Course I’m not alright.” 
“Right, ‘course you’re not,” Wayne echoes. He follows Steve’s mournful gaze to the door Eddie had disappeared through. “What did you tell him?” 
“Told him he was a hero,” Steve croaks, “...and that we were good friends.”
“Ah…” Steve’s vision is so blurred behind a thick layer of tears he can’t see the sympathetic frown on the old man’s face, but he knows it’s there. “At least he’s alive, kid,” Wayne tries to be comforting. “You can always start over.” 
“Yeah, I know, but I don’t- I don’t want to start over, I just want-” Steve chokes back a sob. He just wants Eddie.
It’s a horrible thought, but Steve almost thinks that this just might be worse than if Eddie really had died… Because how is Steve supposed to handle the fact that his boyfriend of 9 months no longer knows him? How is he supposed to cope now that the love of his life looks right at him and no longer sees him?
He closes his eyes, presses the heels of his palms into his eyelids, inhaling a shaky breath and exhaling an even shakier sigh. Steve whispers, “It feels like I’m losing him all over again.” 
(part two is here!)
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bloatedandalone04 · 1 year
Text
Needy
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➪the one where ethan is desperate to get you all to himself. (requested)
Warnings: 18+, smut, unprotected sex (my specialty), swearing, semi public sex (you fuck on Sam's bed, oops), hair pulling, choking, praise kink, dom ethan
Word Count: 3.9k
Do not repost this anywhere, reblogs are fine <3
Ethan’s leg hadn’t stopped bouncing for the last half hour, his palm pressed against his face and his elbow leaning on the armrest of the couch. He was bored out of his mind and being so close to you didn’t help his racing thoughts. 
You were sitting beside him on the couch, your eyes glued to the show Anika put on as a way to distract yourself from real life for a bit. Originally you were sitting on Ethan’s lap, but he kept moving and shifting his hips, so you took that as a sign that he wanted you to move, but in reality it was the exact opposite. 
To put it as easy to understand as possible; Ethan was horny. It was as simple as that.
He tried getting your attention, but his advances went unnoticed by you. Instead, he had his jaw clenched, his leg shaking and his whole body tense. 
At his stiff position, you finally took notice of him and furrowed your brows at his tense shoulders. “Hey,” you whisper to him, watching as he turned his head in your direction. “Are you okay?” You place a comforting hand on his arm and despite it being a totally innocent gesture, it only made Ethan’s want for you grow.
He turned his head back to the TV screen, pressing his palm harder against the side of his face as he nodded. “Fine,”
You weren’t convinced and that much was obvious as you inched closer to him, grabbing his arm and lifting it. You situate yourself so you are snuggled into his side and wrap his arm around you, lacing your fingers together when you are comfortable. 
While you were comfortable once again, Ethan was not as he felt another jolt go through him and settle in his lower area. He shifted his hips once, something you didn’t take notice of, before exhaling harshly through his nose. To the others it appeared as if he was watching the show, but in reality he wasn’t paying it any attention as the images of you under him played in his mind. The sounds you only ever made for him, the whimpers and whines were on repeat in his head and it caused his hips to buck upwards without warning.
He, of course, tried to cover it up by shifting and making it seem like he was trying to get into a more comfortable position, but you saw right through him. You leaned up so your face was close to his and he had to refrain from closing the distance and taking you right there in front of everyone. “Seriously, what’s the matter?” You ask, reaching up to push the curls that rested against his forehead to the side, the palm of your hand replacing them as you felt him for his temperature. “You’re really hot.”
No, you’re really hot he held himself back from saying, instead deciding to clear his throat and shake his head. “I don’t feel well,”
Sam, who was sitting on the floor with her back against the couch, heard him and looked up at the two of you, her brows furrowing. “You don’t look well,”
He gave her a sarcastic smile as you sat up. “Maybe I should just take him home,”
Yes, please the voice in his head begged. 
But he was quickly disappointed by the shake of Sam’s head. “No, we all need to stay here,” she answered. 
Fuck, someone help me Ethan internally groaned. 
“Just take him into my room,” Sam offered once she noticed the glare Ethan gave her. “Let him lay down for a bit.”
Oh, Sam. 
She probably should’ve let you take him home as the things he was planning on doing to you were nothing short of filthy, and he was going to do them on her bed. 
“Okay, yeah,” you agree, giving her a grateful smile and standing up, your hand holding Ethan’s tightly. “Thanks, Sam.”
Ethan stood up as well, giving the older Carpenter sister a poorly hidden smirk. “Yeah, thanks, Sam,” 
As soon as the space was free, Tara and Chad took your previous places on the couch, sitting nearly as close as you and Ethan were and your smile grew as you knew their relationship was growing steadily. It made you happy, being able to watch as they grew closer together and bonded more and more each day. 
On the way to her room, which was the furthest from the living room and from where everyone was sitting, Ethan’s grip on you never let up. In fact, you were surprised you didn’t feel any bones break from just how tight his hold was. 
Once you are in Sam’s room, you push Ethan towards the bed and walk into the bathroom, wetting a cloth with cold water. From where you stood you could see him in the mirror as he laid down on the bed, kicking a few decorative pillows off as he did so. You shake your head, a small smile on your lips, before wringing out the cloth so it wouldn’t get water everywhere and turning the tap off.
 When you turned the light off and entered her room again, you nearly jumped out of your skin when you came face to face with your boyfriend. “Jesus, Ethan, don’t do that,”
“Sorry, sorry,” he mumbled as he looked down at you, his eyes flickering all over your face. 
You shake your head and swat his hand away when it reaches out to touch your arm. “Here,” you say and reach up, cloth in hand. “I got you a wet cloth for your head. You should go lay back down.”
Before you could place it against his head, his hand wrapped around your wrist, stopping you halfway. His fingers take the cloth from you and let it fall to the floor, his head shaking afterwards. “I don’t need it,” he murmured, trailing his fingers up your arm until they reached your shoulder. “ I just need you.” 
When his thumb and index pressed gently against the base of your throat and he leaned down, you pulled away just before his lips could capture yours. “I’m not kissing you if you’re sick,”
Ethan only smirked at your words, caressing the side of your face. “I think we both know I’m not really sick.”
You gave him a confused face before looking him up and down, coming to the conclusion that he didn’t appear to be sick at all. “You faked it?” You ask in disbelief, watching as he shrugged with a boyish grin on his lips. “Why?”
The answer came easily. “I had to get you alone somehow,” he said it like it was the most obvious thing ever. “You were driving me crazy out there.”
You furrow your brows. “How? I was just sitting next to you.” 
Ethan rolled his eyes and gave you a pointed look. “No, first you were sitting on me,”
It was then when you finally clued in. You glance down at the now obvious bulge, and question how you had failed to notice all the little signs he usually gives you when he’s in the mood. “Okay, so you got me alone,” you repeat his words, crossing your arms over your chest. “What do you plan on doing now?”
Ethan’s hands gripped the hem of your shirt, his eyes never leaving yours. “I think you know exactly what I’m planning on doing now,” at the slight raise of his brow, your eyes widened and you shook your head. 
“Oh, no. Absolutely not,” at the soft shove you give his chest, Ethan lets out a whine. 
“Come on,” he dropped the cool guy act and let his desperation take over. “Sam and Mindy won’t let us leave. We’ve been stuck here with them all day and I’m bored. You can’t tell me you’re not bored, too.” 
You tug on your bottom lip with your teeth, making Ethan hold back a groan as he waits for your answer. “Well, yeah, I’m bored, too,” you say and watch as he holds back a smirk. “But we can’t…do that here. This is Sam’s room and the others are right down the hall.”
“We’ll be quiet, we’ve done it before,” he says, referring to when he fucked you back in his room on the night he told Chad he wouldn’t be home and had to skip out on guys night to ‘study’. “It’ll be just like before.”
“No, it won’t,” you press, already feeling yourself beginning to give in. “That was just Chad, not a whole house full of people.”
Ethan rolled his eyes at that. “Five people is not a whole house,”
“But…. this is Sam’s room,” you repeat your previous excuse as you didn’t have anymore to give out.
“And she’ll never know,” he assured you, bringing his thumb up to tug on your bottom lip. “Are you done?”
At that, your shoulders drop as you give in, pressing your body against his as you lean up, connecting your lips in a heated kiss. At the feeling Ethan had been craving all day finally being given to him, he doesn’t hesitate to deepen the kiss. His hands fall from your face and grip the back of your thighs, and at the slight tug you jump up and wrap your legs around his waist. 
He makes the short walk back to the bed, Sam’s bed - to be exact, and drops you on it, making your lips disconnect for a brief moment. Only a second passed before he was hovering over you and pressing your lips together again, his hands gripping your waist tightly. 
“We’ll have to be quick,” you mumbled in between kisses, your hands pulling at the dark shirt he was wearing. 
Ethan hummed in agreement, his fingers tugging at your jeans. “You’ll have to be quiet,” he smirked against your mouth and you rolled your eyes as you pulled away. 
“Are you forgetting the fact that you initiated this?” You ask and turn your head when Ethan begins placing kisses against the skin of your neck, granting him better access. 
“No,” he answered, sitting up on his knees and pulling away from you completely to tug off the henley. “But we both know how loud you can get.”
Your face heats up and you’re unsure of the cause. Was it his words? The view of his bare chest? Or was it because of the feather light touch of his hands on your knees?
Whatever it was, you allowed it to warm your body completely, a heat ghosting over every inch of you as you watched him pull your shirt up enough to see the button and zipper of your jeans. He leans down to place hot kisses against the skin of your abdomen, tracing his tongue along each mark he created. 
Knowing that time was limited, and considering he has been thinking about this pretty much all day, he didn’t bother teasing you too much and popped open the button of your jeans before unzipping them and sliding them down your legs.
The only light that was on was the one on Sam’s dresser, which was by the wall furthest from the bed, so you couldn’t see much other than Ethan. Even then, you could still see the want and desperation in his eyes. “You couldn’t have waited until tonight, could you?” You tease him as your fingers work on the button of his pants. 
One of his hands slides up your back until they reach your neck. He gathers a handful of your hair between his fingers before giving you a sharp tug, making a surprised gasp leave your lips. “You know, for someone who’s so worried about someone walking in and insisting we need to be quick,” he began, hovering over you once more. “You sure don’t know how to shut up.”
His words, though they caught you off guard, sent a wave directly to your core as did the pull he gave your hair. Before you could reply, his lips were on yours again and his hand tugged at your hair once more, making the smallest moan slip from the back of your throat. 
Ethan grinned, more like smirked, against your lips as your fingers returned to the waistline of his jeans. You easily unzipped them and pulled the rough fabric down just enough for your hand to press against him. 
He groaned into your mouth, the kiss making it sound more muffled as he also didn’t want anyone to overhear the two of you and have them come see what the noise is about. If he gets cockblocked by Chad one more time, he’ll kill him. And that was a promise, not a joke. 
At the feeling of your hand palming him through his boxers, he lets out a needy whimper, bucking his hips against your hand. You grin against his mouth, pressing your hand harder against him and listening to all the small sounds that leave his lips. 
He wasn’t kidding when he said he needed you, if the hardness rubbing against your palm and the breathy whines leaving his mouth were anything to go by. You pull away from his lips and ask, “Protection?”
Ethan stops moving his hips against your hand and groans, shaking his head. “In my school bag,” he said. “Which is beside the couch.”
You playfully roll your eyes, pressing a quick kiss to his cheek. “Smart,”
“I can make an excuse. I’ll say you need a book to study off of or something,” he offered and you laughed quietly at the way his face was tinted a pale pink at the thought of going back out there when he was sporting a very obvious boner. “Or I can pull out.”
You shake your head and kiss him again. “Don’t worry about it,” you mumbled against his mouth. “I started the pill a couple weeks ago.”
At that, Ethan pulled away from you and didn’t bother to hide the look of surprise that graced his face. “Really?”
You hummed and nodded your head. 
His lips formed a smirk and he looked down, watching as his fingers traced the inside of your thigh and created goosebumps as they inched closer to the lining of your underwear. “So, you’re saying I can claim you in more ways than one now?” 
You roll your eyes and grab him by the back of his neck. “Now look who can’t shut up,”
Before he could retaliate, you pull him towards you and connect your lips, swallowing the groan that escaped his mouth. The kiss lasted only a few seconds before he pulled away to focus on freeing himself from both his jeans and boxers.While he did that, you took the chance to slide upwards and position yourself more comfortably on the pillows, ridding yourself of the black fabric that covered your heat. 
Once he shoves the dark fabric partway down his legs, he kisses you again and places one arm under your back while the hand of his other moves down to guide himself along your slick folds. 
You held your breath once he entered you, as did he. It was a new feeling to the both of you as you had never done this without the use of protection on his part. It felt so much better and the feeling of him in his entirety invading your core had your eyes closing involuntarily. 
Ethan, on the other hand, nearly came right then and there, to put it simply. 
When you pulled away from his lips and leaned back on the pillows, he looked down at where the two of you connected with a completely fucked out expression on his face. 
The feeling of your walls around him with nothing in the way was enough to soothe the craving he had for you all day, and his stomach muscles flexed at the thought of what was still to come. 
You let out a small whine when he pulls halfway out that quickly turns into a quiet moan when he sinks back into you. 
You don’t get a chance to make a comment on the sly look he gave you before he began thrusting into you at a steady pace, effectively making any and all words die on your tongue and a moan slip out instead.
Ethan buries his head in the space between your neck and shoulder, his teeth sucking marks to quiet his own sounds. One of your hands reaches up to tug at his dark curls, your other scratching at the skin of his back. 
The slight sting of your nails against him has a low groan leaving his lips and the sound goes straight to your core, where you feel yourself clench around him. “Fuck, you’re always so good for me,” he nearly whispers, the words creating goosebumps on the skin of your neck. “I love you.”
You lift your hips and meet his thrusts halfway, wrapping your arms around his shoulders and your legs around his waist. “I love you,”
Ethan gives a particularly hard thrust at your words, a warm feeling settling in his bones. The hand that was gripping your waist slides upwards, stopping briefly at your shirt covered chest before travelling further. His thumb and index fingers press against the base of your throat for a few seconds before the rest wrap around your neck and apply the faintest amount of pressure. “You’re so pretty, so good for me,” he praises, pressing a chaste kiss against your lips. “You’re mine, aren’t you?”
You whimper in response, his hand on your throat making your head feel dizzy in the best way. 
At the lack of words from you, Ethan’s other hand that was under your back inched upwards until it reached the back of your head, where he tugged on your hair harshly, making your head move in the direction of the pull. What could only be described as a filthy moan escapes you at the sharp pull and he watches you with lust filled eyes. “Use your words, pretty girl,” 
“Yes,” you whimpered, moving your head forward and trying to press your lips to his but another pull of your hair stops you. 
“Yes, what?”
At his unrelenting thrusts, you have to fight to keep your eyes open and focused on him. “Yes,” you say again, tightening your arms around him. “Yours. I’m yours, baby. All yours.”
Your words send waves of happiness down his body and he grins, leaning down and finally letting you connect your lips again. His tongue fights with yours for a second or two before you give up and surrender yourself completely to him, making him smirk into the kiss. 
A string of saliva keeps the two of you connected when he pulls away to look you in the eyes. “You’re taking me so well,” he mumbled, making you involuntarily clench around him once again. It made fucking into you a bit harder to do but your tight walls were so greedy for him, it made his hips ache to continue to hit yours at a bruising pace. “Always take me so well. My good girl.”
His praises send heat waves down your body and they rest at your core, where you take him deeper with every thrust of his hips. The hand that was around your throat slides down to rest on your lower abdomen, right above your entrance. He presses his palm flat against your skin, feeling the outline of himself everytime he slipped back inside your heat.
The pressure makes your head spin and you cry out, clinging onto him with every ounce of strength you had left. With the hand still tangled in your hair, Ethan pulls you close to him to allow you to hide your head against his neck, your moans becoming muffled against his skin. 
“My sweet girl,” he mumbled, his mouth next to your ear. “Letting me ruin you on someone else’s bed. Taking me so well with our friends just down the hall.”
His words make you moan loudly against him, a heat spreading across your face. 
He knew the effect he had on you with his words, so he continued to give you praise after praise, making your self control slip further away from you. “What would they say if they were to see you like this? Hm?” You whine in response, your legs tightening around his waist while your heels pressed hard against his lower back, making him inch even deeper into you. “Sweet, shy Y/n, letting her boyfriend fuck her just because I couldn’t wait any longer.”
“Ethan,” you cry out, digging your nails into his back.
He grunts at the sting and it only adds to the intense pleasure bubbling inside him. He holds the back of your head once more, fisting your hair while his other hand grips your waist. The movement of his hips increased in speed and it wasn’t long until you felt the familiar knot begin to form. 
“I’m close,” you tell him, sucking a mark of your own on his neck and running your tongue over it afterwards. “I need you, Eth, please. I need you so bad.”
“So needy,” he teases, knowing damn well that he was the needy one who couldn’t wait a few more hours, when everyone fell asleep and gave you the opportunity to sneak away without being detected. “I’m right here, baby. Right here.”
Your eyes squeeze shut, your legs wrapping impossibly tighter around him as you moan against his neck. His hand cradled your head as you no longer had any control over the sounds leaving your mouth, the knot twisting until it was about to burst. 
When he felt you clench around him one last time, he moved his head to press his lips to yours, successfully muffling the string of moans you emitted once the knot snapped. Your warmth flooded around him, making him sink further and further inside you until his tip brushed against the most sensitive spot you had. 
His fingers gently massaged your head when he pulled away and he hid his face against your neck, his own moans lost to your skin as he felt himself tip over the edge as well. His hips slow down considerably as he rides out both your highs, and even after. He rocks into you for a few more seconds until the overexertion becomes too much, and he falls on top of you. 
You lay like that for a minute or two, silence taking over the room with the exception of your quiet inhales and his heavy pants. Your fingers thread through his curls while his traced up and down your back, leaving chills to take over your body. 
He pulls out of you slowly, not wanting to overstimulate you as he knew you became quite sensitive afterwards. He tugged his jeans back up and before the mix of both yours and his releases could slip onto Sam’s comforter, Ethan grabbed the cold cloth you wet for him from off the floor. He grinned at you while he wiped away the evidence of your previous activities, scrunching the cloth up in his hand once he was done. “I guess this was put to good use, after all,”
You rolled your eyes and slipped your underwear and jeans back on before sitting up. You grab his shirt from off the floor and toss it at him, watching as he easily caught it. After gripping the sides of his face and pressing a chaste kiss to his lips, you take the cloth from him and ask, “You feel better now?”
Ethan nodded his head, a boyish smile on his lips. “I feel fucking fantastic,”
-
Thank you all SO MUCH for 1000 notes and all the love on my last post. It truly means to much and it's the first time I've gotten that much feedback and support <3 so, seriously, thank you so much
5K notes · View notes
buckyalpine · 7 months
Note
hey shay! what do you think about steve and sam betting that bucky cannot date the newest avenger for like two months without falling in love with her. and, of course, he accepts, and asks her out, all in the hopes of winning.
(plot twist: he is a dumbass and a fucking simp because he falls hella hard in like the first month. she’s basically his soulmate and his dream girl. absolutely perfect. he dreams of their marriage and children and cannot wait to make it a reality. and steve and sam are beyond happy for him, and the three decide never to speak of the bet ever again.)
but fast forward to their first anniversary together, and she finds out that the only reason why bucky ever paid any attention to her, and asked her out, was because of the bet. and it leaves her absolutely heartbroken and destroyed, to the point that she debates asking for a transfer. because of course the only way the legendary sergeant james buchanan barnes would ever notice her is because of a bet. pfft! how big of an idiot she is!
(and we see bucky do some seriously grovel. because he cannot lose the love of his life. his baby. his everything. his sunshine in the dark. the reason for his existence.)
maybe steve and sam join in to help him? because they adore her as well, and they know how much bucky needs her.
YESSSS YES YESSSSS. I am here for the angst and the fluff, I love this because we all love a break up make up situation.
"100 bucks"
"No"
"Okay, 150"
"Why are we doing this"
"200"
"...why"
"Because we know for a fact, there's no way you'd be able to date the new recruit for two full months-
"-without falling in love, you can't actually fall for her"
Sam and Steve looked at Bucky intently while the soldier cocked an eyebrow, the three of them lounging in the common room after a morning briefing to meet their newest team mate.
"You're both willing to pay me $200 just to date y/n without falling in love?" Bucky deadpanned staring at his two best friends, both with matching shit eating grins.
"What's wrong Barnes, scared you'll get your wittle heart broken?" Sam egged him on only to be met with a cocky smirk from the brunette.
"That's not a problem because I don't date" Bucky shrugged, happy to win easy money if all he had to do was ask the new girl out and date her for a bit without actually catching feelings.
He was never really the relationship type; the charm he used to have in the 40's was slowly making its way back and it was perfect for when he needed a quick fix. Long term was never his thing and he wasn't about to start now but he also wasn't going to turn down a bet when his friends seemed so keen.
Besides, his pride was on the line and it was only two months.
"So let me get this straight. I date her for 2 months-"
"No falling in love with y/n"
"-no falling in love and you pay me?"
Sam and Steve nodded while Bucky got up, shaking their hands to seal the deal. He already mapped out a plan to ask the new girl out, mentally deciding on an easy break up speech for when the inventible comes.
"Two months white panther"
"Wolf"
"Two months"
"Easy"
****
Bucky knew he was screwed after the first date. Just the first date. When he first asked her out, she gave him a shy giggle and he knew he wanted to hear that sound again. And again. And again. She gave him a little nod, shuffling on her feet and for a moment, Bucky regained his confidence. There was no way he'd have anything in common with someone so shy and quiet, winning the best was going to be a breeze.
Until she came down in a sun dress, ready to go out for for their date and she smelled like peaches and cream and there was that fucking giggle again when he got ice cream on his nose when they shared a sundae. Her hands were so soft when she swiped her thumb over his little mess, cleaning him off with a tissue while he blinked.
"You're so adorable, sarge" She gave him a bashful smile and his cheeks couldn't have possibly blushed more, his heart beating strangely fast. He wasn't really too sure what to do, usually it was him making girls turn into puddles of shy messes but her he was, more tongue tied that ever.
He wasn't sure what it was.
Maybe it was the fact that she asked him about the 40's, something he rarely got to talk about. Maybe it was the way she listened to him intently while he got lost in his memories, recalling happier times, the both of them laughing over stories about scrawny Steve before the serum. He'd been on plenty of dates before but none of them were like this.
(It didn't matter though, his main goal never left his sight...not really)
He asked her out again and he immediately put his hand to his stomach when she showed up in her workout clothes since he'd offered to train with her before their scheduled date. He'd fully intended to take control over the situation, gain the upper hand again by making her all sweet and shy with his subtle touches but nope.
Here he was with butterflies dancing madly around his tummy when she smiled brightly as soon as she walked through the gym doors; his train of thought long gone when as she dropped her towel beside his. He flipped her with ease, her much smaller form blinking up at him as he caged her under him. He didn't even have it in him to throw her a wink or a flirty smirk, giving her soft puppy eyes instead and helping her to her feet.
To his own surprise, he didn't even try to make a move to get her in bed.
He couldn't.
Not when he was genuinely enjoying conversation with her. Not when she looked at him with such trust and care not to break her heart. Not after she'd confided in him that she felt safe with him after about a month of dating. Bucky's mind, which was usually filled with filth and fucking was now filled with thoughts of her in a pretty white dress, walking down the aisle, ready to say I do. He thought about how adorable their babies would look, how beautiful she'd look pregnant, she was his dream girl, how he couldn't wait for the day it'd all really happen, he was falling in love for the first time in his life-
He. Was. Screwed.
****
"M'gonna marry her"
"What"
"What?" Bucky blinked back at his friends with wide eyes, not realizing he'd said that out loud; the three of them sitting around the living room again since you had gone out for a girls night with Nat and Wanda.
"Come again, what was that?" Sam grinned, sitting up straighter from where he'd been sprawled out on the floor while Steve nudged Bucky with his shoulder.
"Nothing" Bucky mumbled but the blush on his cheeks spread up to his ears.
"AWWWW" Sam howled while Bucky buried his face in his hands, "BUCKY HAS A CRUSH"
"You like her, huh punk" Steve grinned, not needing verbal confirmation from his best friend; both him and Sam saw the way Bucky started falling for you from day 1, not standing a chance of winning their bet.
"I do" Bucky smiled shyly, not bothering with a snarky retort, not when he'd fallen so hard for you the second he heard your laugh. No one bothered to bring up the bet again, the entire thing long forgotten. Sam and Steve couldn't have been happier when they saw Bucky's eyes light up every time he looked at you. You'd tumbled into the living room along with Nat and Wanda behind you, giggling and falling into the soldiers lap, nuzzling into him like a kitten between tipsy kisses.
Sam could've sworn he saw Steve flick away a tear, the both of them watching Bucky grin like a little kid with the biggest crush, melting into a puddle instantly with you in his arms.
"Hey Sarge" You gave him a hazy smile, sighing contently when he kissed your forehead and scooped you right up, holding you to his chest. "Missed you"
"Let's get you to bed babygirl" Bucky whispered, carefully taking care of you, changing you into one of his Henley's and completing your skin care routine since you couldn't in your drunken state. He kissed you good night, pulling the covers up and holding you close to him the entire night.
Nothing compared to the soft puppy he became whenever you were near him and it wasn't exactly a well kept secret. No one failed to notice the way he was head over heels in love with you. With each passing day Bucky loved you more, doing everything in his power to keep you happy, to protect you with his entire heart, there's was no way, absolutely no way, he'd every do anything to hurt you or lose you.
Ever.
One Year Later
You stretched, blinking at the sun that peeked through the curtains, feeling extra warm, cuddled up with you boyfriend who was the human form of a furnace. You were in no hurry to get out of bed, burying your face into his bare chest instead, breathing in his scent, humming contently when his thick arms wrapped you impossibly closer.
"Happy anniversary my love" Bucky whispered, his eyes still closed, pressing a kiss to the top of your head. He couldn't believe a full year had gone by since you'd stolen his heart. A full year filled with kisses and giggles and softness. There wasn't a day that had gone by where Bucky wasn't a complete simp for you (he'd picked out a wedding ring within month three and had it hidden somewhere in his room by month 6).
"Happy anniversary handsome" You kissed his chest where his heart beat steadily, giggling when he pinned you under him, attacking you with a flurry of feathery light kisses, "Bucky stop!" You squealed with laugher as he wrapped you tightly and let his scruffy cheeks tickle your shoulders, the both of you tangled in his sheets, having a lazy morning.
"I love you" He whispered into your hair, sneakily slipping his hands up your over sized shirt, his cool metal fingers stroking down your spine making you shiver. "So much, bella"
"I love you, Jamie" Your cheeks heated up and the sweet name he had just for you, only reluctantly getting out of bed after Nat had practically dragged you out of bed to go shopping. You didn't want to do anything but cuddle with Bucky all day but the red head didn't care, happily evading your privacy to barge into the room and whisk you away, throwing back a wink when Bucky mouthed a silent thank you.
Bucky had planned out the perfect anniversary, something he'd thought out for weeks. The compound would be empty so it would just be the two of you; he'd cook dinner himself, have some songs playing from the 40's with a juke box he'd managed to get his hands on and spent the entire night letting you know how deeply in love he was with you. He didn't care how cheesy it was, buying out an entire florist shop to cover the room and terrace with your favorite flowers, having some suspended from the high ceilings along with petals strewn on the floor.
He'd pull out all the rom com stops for you, giving everyone a task to keep you busy so he could set up for the night. Nat had been tasked with keeping you away until evening, only bringing you back in time for dinner. Sam and Steve spent the whole day hanging and putting up flowers, lighting candles and listening to Bucky ramble about how much he adored you. Tony worked on lighting and sound, tinkering with the music and setting it up outside.
To say you were surprised was an understatement. Nat had blind folded you as soon as you got back and instructed you to put on the dress that had been laid out in your room. You had no idea what she was talking about until you found a floor length gown along with a note sitting on top of your bed.
See you at 8 tonight my bella
Happy 1 year Anniversary,
Yours forever,
JBB x
You didn't waste a second, hopping into the shower, doing your makeup and spraying on your perfume that you knew he loved so much. You slipped the dress on along with some heels before making your way down to the now dimmed lights, the soft glow of candles warming the room.
You gasped as soon as your eyes landed on Bucky, standing head to toe in all black, a dashing smile on his face. He strode over to you, cupping your cheeks in his hands, pecking your lips sweetly, the scent of his cologne already making you woozy.
"You did all this for me?" You blinked back tears, his thumbs swiping them away .
"Anything for you doll" Bucky whispered, pulling you in for another kiss before leading you to the garden; a trail of rose petals covering the floor to the back terrace. Fairly lights twinkled, mixed in with the tiny stars that dotted the night sky; you didn't bother with sitting in your own seat, sitting in Bucky's lap instead while your both sipped on champagne.
It didn't take long for him to swoop you off your feet so he could sway with you instead, music playing softly in the background while he whispered sweet nothings, only sitting down again so he could feed you the dessert he'd spend the whole afternoon making for you.
"I can't believe you did all this for me Bucky" You said sincerely, holding his face in your hands, gazing into his soft blue eyes, "You're perfect my Jamie"
"You're my perfect gift doll"
"Oh! I have to get you your gift!" You realized you'd left it in your room between a spoon of chocolate cake Bucky was feeding you, hopping up from his lap to get it. You scurried off to your room, giddy over the present you'd put together for Bucky, the whole gift taking months of planning to get everything to come in time. You rummaged through your closet, grabbing the carefully wrapped box and returning to the hall, excited to see his face when he opened his present.
You passed by Steve's room stopping dead in your tracks at the words you heard, your feet suddenly unable to move.
"Can you believe this all started over betting he'd never fall for y/n?" Sam snorted, sitting on the couch in Steve's room, the both of them munching on the scraps of chocolate cake and sipping on beer while watching a movie.
"All over 200 bucks, remember he was so sure of himself"
You felt like you'd swallowed cotton, your mouth dry, finding it difficult to swallow. You wanted to turn back time, wishing you'd never heard that conversation, or maybe it was all a misunderstanding, Bucky would never do that, not your Bucky.
"Didn't you tell him he'd only have to date her for 2 months?"
"2 months and 200 dollars, terminator shook on it"
"He even had a break up speech ready"
You gripped tightly onto the present, dashing away from the room, unable to bear more of the conversation. Your heart was hammering out of your chest as you shakily made your way back to Bucky, it just couldn't be true.
Could it?
Did he really only ask you out because his friends made a bet with him?
Bucky smiled when he saw you return, opening his arms for you to slink onto his lap again. His smile disappeared when you kept your eyes down, fumbling with the gift in your hand, staying rooted in place in front of him instead of cuddling up with him like you always did.
"Baby? Is everything okay?" Bucky got up from his seat, carefully making his way over to you. He tipped your face up, surprised to find your eyes wet with unshed tears, the corners of your lips quivering with how hard you were trying to keep from crying.
"You-you promise you'll be honest with me?" You tried to keep your voice from cracking, afraid everything you'd imagined with Bucky would come crashing down if what you heard was true.
"Of course" Bucky felt his heart race seeing your glassy eyes and broken expression, what could have possibly happened in the few seconds you were gone "Bella, what's wrong"
"Did you only ask me out because of a bet?" You tried to keep from sniffling, your heart breaking at the guilt that immediately spread across Bucky's face.
"Doll, I-
"So it's true?" You whimpered, stepping away from the man you loved so much, feeling a whirlwind of emotions, the gift you clutched onto slipping from your grip and onto the floor, "It was just a bet with Sam and Steve?"
"Baby, please let me explain-" Bucky wanted nothing more than to reach out and wipe away the tears he caused, his own streaming down his cheeks when you moved further away from him.
"Please don't" You shook your head, wrapping your arms around yourself, not wanting to feel his touch you knew you'd instantly melt into. "Just don't James"
Bucky was ready to drop to his knees and beg for forgiveness, beg for you to call him all the sweet names reserved just for him but you dashed back into the compound, slapping your hand over your mouth to muffle your sobs.
"Sweetheart wait, please don't go, just let me explain baby, I love you so much" Bucky trailed after you, quickly swiping his dampened cheeks, catching you in the elevator just before it closed. "Y/n, I love you doll, I'm sorry, it started that way but-
"It's not your fault" You quickly wiped away the new wave of tears that stung your eyes, desperately pushing the button to take you to your room faster, "I-I should've known you wouldn't have been into me in the first place"
"Y/n, that's not true sweetheart, don't say that baby, please"
"I thought you really liked me, I-I didn't know someone had to pay you to date me"
You felt stupid, ridiculous, ashamed, how did you ever think someone like Bucky, the handsome ladies man from day one, would suddenly be into you, some random new trainee turned avenger. You weren't special, nothing about you stood out from others, there was no reason for him to give you attention.
It all made sense now, your heart splitting into two, biting hard on your lip to keep your cries down, you couldn't believe how stupid you'd been to think he actually liked you from the start.
"No baby, you had me from day one-"
"P-please don't l-lie to m-me" You hiccupped, making a bee line straight to you room as soon as the elevator doors opened, not looking back once. You locked your door before Bucky could catch up, ignoring his persistent soft knocks, begging for you to give him a chance to explain.
"Y/n, bella, please, open the door sweetheart, I love you, I promise truly love you so much, I'm so sorry baby, I need to talk to you, please" Bucky sniffled, his forehead pressed to your door in defeat, now letting the tears fall freely. He stayed rooted in place, slumping down with his head between his knees, running his hands through his short locks in frustration. The only thing he cared about was making you happy and he was the one who screwed it up.
You clutched onto your sheets, trembling as sobs wracked your body, thinking back to all the moments you thought were so sweet, moments where you thought you were both falling in love, now realizing they were nothing more than a ploy to get $200.
You remembered your first date, thinking about how cute Bucky looked with a tiny dollop of ice cream on his perfect nose, how nervous you were to swipe it off, your heart racing when you told him he looked adorable. It took every fiber of your very being to muster the courage to do that but it had meant nothing to him.
You had been stupid to think he liked you too when he asked you out again; you remembered the way your entire body felt like it had been lit on fire when he had you pinned you under him, growing bashfully shy when he helped you up onto your feet, everything a part of his plan to eventually dump you.
You felt ridiculous. You were not gorgeous like Natasha or enhanced like Wanda. What made you think the very Sergeant James Barnes would have his eye on you of all people.
You should have known.
-
"Do you hear that?" Steve paused the movie, hearing a muffled cry from the corridor, his brows furrowing at the sniffles that followed. Sam nodded with a frown, both men getting up and peering into the hallway, surprised to find the super soldier sitting against your door, eyes and nose red from crying.
"Bucky?" Steve was by his best friends side in an instant, kneeling before him, helping him up to onto his feet.
"What happened, where's y/n" Sam blinking hearing crying from inside your room, his stomach churning when Bucky shrugged, chewing on his trembling lip to keep from breaking down again. Bucky let Steve lead him into his room, sitting on the edge of the bed, gripping onto the sheets till they nearly tore.
"What the hell happened Buck"
"She found out bout the bet" Bucky whispered, fresh tears streaming down his face when he remembered how defeated you looked with betrayal. "She knows I asked her out because of it"
"Fuck" Sam hissed while Steve ran a hand over his face. They felt equally responsible for hurting you for having suggested the bet in the first place, also piecing together you must have over heard them when they were talking earlier. Steve was sick with guilt while Sam also slumped onto the couch, all three men feeling awful for hurting you.
"Did you talk to her?"
"She doesn't want to even look at me" Bucky shook his head before burying his face in his hands again, unable to stop from crying; there was a good chance he lost you forever and it was his fault.
"Just-just give her some time" Steve threw an arm over Bucky, while mentally hitting himself for being part of the mess, hoping you'd forgive his best friend who was deeply and utterly in love with you.
-
You woke up with a throbbing headache, staying in bed for longer than usual. You felt more embarrassed than the night before realizing others must have known the true nature of your relationship with Bucky. Not only did Bucky not really like you in the first place but he'd only even looked your way because he was sure he wouldn't fall for you.
You kept to yourself for the first few days. You'd managed to wake up earlier than everyone else so you could eat breakfast and train alone, only to eat dinner extra late after everyone had gone to sleep. It wasn't difficult given your skill set; you slinked about undetected, evading the other avengers every time they knocked on your door to check on you.
Bucky tried to find you every single day, spending each night falling asleep by your door, ignoring the worsening kink in his neck, hoping he'd get get to see you just once, one time so he could at least apologize to you properly.
Two full weeks had gone by and you some how only felt worse. You hated hearing Bucky cry when you walked by his room but then you'd remember what he did and you couldn't bring yourself to trust him again.
Bucky was a mess. He missed you more than anything; you were his baby, his soul mate, his beautiful sweet bella. He would've given anything just to see you walk down the hall way, anything to hear your voice even if it was you telling him off like he deserved. He wanted you to yell and scream at him, tell him what at ass hole he was, that he was the biggest jerk on the planet, that you hated him, he'd listen to it like it was music if he just got to see you again.
He got his hopes up when a new mission came up requiring all hands on deck; Tony called for a sudden meeting with the full team which meant everyone had to be there. Bucky ran off to the showers within seconds, scrubbing himself with body wash he knew you loved so much before throwing on a tight black t-shirt and jeans that made you all shy and giggly. He knew he was playing dirty, leaving the scuff on his face before spraying on a dash of cologne.
He had to look his best, even if it meant you'd throw your cute little kitten mug at his head. He nervously ran to the conference room, eyes flicking to each individual, his heart dropping when he didn't see you there.
"Damn Barnes" Tony whistled while Steve smiled sadly knowing his bestfriend was hoping to see you. "Who'd you clean up for"
"Where's y/n" Bucky's eyes were pleading with everyone, hoping someone would say you were just running late or that you weren't taking part in the mission.
"She's....she's at the head office" Tony sighed, "She wants a transfer"
"Damn it" Sam had now sat up while Bucky left the room with Steve following behind him. "He needs her, he really loves her"
"I-I can't lose her" Bucky sobbed, shaking his head, clutching onto the card you had given him on your anniversary. He'd read every word 100 times over, memorizing it to heart, careful not to crush the paper as he pressed it to his chest. "She's everything to me"
"Look, it's out fault too. We're the ones who suggested the stupid thing, we'll get her back" Steve gave him a reassuring squeeze and Sam nodded.
"I feel like shit man, the whole thing was meant to be a dumb joke, we love her too, we're not just gonna let her leave like this, not our y/n, okay? That's our girl"
"C'mon, lets go get your girl back, punk"
-
You frowned as you entered through the main doors of the compound, finding it unusually quiet when everyone should have been at home since they'd just gotten back from their mission. You felt conflicted after your meeting with Fury and Agent Hill, both of them asking you to reconsider your request to transfer. You told them you'd think about it but you were certain over your decision.
You couldn't face the team any more and your were too embarrassed to look at Bucky again. You didn't mind working in the office and starting over, figuring that would be the best way to mend your heart.
You made your way up to your room, a little red envelope sitting on your pillow catching your attention. You were wary as you opened it, your breath catching in your throat as you recognized the handwriting.
To my first and only love,
I don't deserve someone as sweet as you, but I can't bear the thought of you thinking I don't love you with my entire being. I know I don't deserve a second chance, but I need you to know it was always real.
Always.
I've kept it will hidden but it's time for you to see. It's in my favorite hiding spot for your eyes only.
With all the hugs and kisses in the worlds,
JBB
You knew exactly what spot Bucky was referring to, thinking back to the early days of when you were dating. On more than one occasion, Bucky had grabbed you into his closet, shutting the door when he wanted a few extra moments of privacy before a mission, showering you with 100's of kisses before eventually getting caught and dragged down to the hangar with a bashful grin on his face.
You reluctantly made your way to his room, letting out the breath you were holding when he wasn't inside. The scent of him alone already caused you to feel butterflies but you ignored them as you looked in the closet, finding a shoe box with another red envelope sitting on top for you to read.
To my sweet bella,
You had my heart from day one. You were never supposed to see any of this but you have to know. It's always been you.
Forever and only yours,
JBB
You sat on the floor of the closet as you carefully opened the box, inspecting its contents. Inside was an old, weathering diary with a receipt stuffed in the middle as a bookmark. You opened the page that was marked, surprised to find the receipt from the ice cream place you where you had your first date, the date of the entry a few days before he asked you out.
A new team mate has joined the group. Her name is y/n, y/l/n. She specializes in hand to hand combat and is a trained spy. Tony introduced us to everyone today. I wouldn't mind being her friend but I hope she isn't afraid of me, maybe she's just shy.
The next entry was from the day Sam and Steve made the bet
I doubt I'll forget this but I'm writing it down anyway. 2 months for 200 dollars. Seems stupid but what's the worst that could happen, it's not like she'd actually fall for me anyway.
Then there was the entry after your first date.
She's probably one of the sweetest people I've ever met; I don't want to forget this day, bet or not. She wore a sun dress and she laughed at all my jokes. She called me adorable. Her hands felt so soft. I'm sure its in her nature to be so kind but I wish it was just for me. Maybe I'll ask her out again.
A few days later.
I swear I'm falling in love with her more and more each day and she doesn't even have a clue. I don't know how to show her she's special to me, you'd think I'd be better at this. I hope one day she feels the same way.
And then
I love her. So much. Ma would have loved her. I hope one day she says yes.
You let out a wet laugh at the entries became sappier, each one detailing how hard he was falling for you, all the little details of your dates filling the pages, your heart breaking when you realized he wrote as much as he could remember so he'd never forget. He didn't mention the bet in any of the pages because he'd forgotten about it completely, fully focused on making you officially his.
The diary was sacred to him, a private place where he recounted his most precious memories, the one thing he'd never share with anyone but he decided to share it with you because you had to know. It was one of the few places he poured his heart and soul into with no filter, some of his darkest memories scrawled onto the pages but after he'd met you, it changed. Page after page filled with nothing but sweetness, pure and untainted love. You wiped the tears away, carefully placing the diary back in its proper hiding spot before making your way downstairs hoping to find him.
You found a trail of petals that hadn't been there earlier leading to the living room, walking to a very remorseful looking Sam, Steve and of course Bucky, all three men clutching onto teddy bears along with a blanket fort hoisted up in front of the large TV screen.
"What-what is all this?" You whispered, hesitantly walking towards them with Sam stepping forward first, wrapping you up in a bone crushing hug.
"We're really sorry sweetheart" Sam murmured into your hair, hugging you tightly against him, "we never wanted to hurt you, we love you baby, truly"
"You're special to us darling" Steve came over next, pressing a firm kiss to your head, his large arms holding you in a comforting embrace, "We're idiots, you didn't deserve that, don't leave because of us sweetheart, it's not the same without you"
"It's-its okay"
"It's not, we know it isn't but just know we really do love you, okay? Especially him" Steve whispered the last part with a small smile, looking over to his best friend who was anxiously shuffling on his feet, clutching the largest bear in his hands.
You hugged onto the two little teddies from Sam and Steve, kissing their cheeks before they quietly left you and Bucky alone for some privacy. You set them down on the sofa, suddenly feeling nervous when it was just you and Bucky, anxiety and embarrassment attempting to claw its way back up again.
"I'm so sorry bella" Bucky hesitantly reached out for you, scared you'd pull away, relief flooding his body when you allowed him to pull you in for a hug. "My pretty girl, m'so sorry, I didn't mean for it to happen baby"
"You-you really liked me after?" you felt silly for asking such a thing but you couldn't help it, you had to know, your soft doe eyes pleading with him to be honest with you, "You don't have to lie Bucky, it's okay if you didn't-
"You're breakin' my heart babygirl, of course I did. Of course I liked you sweets, I fell hard and fast for you, it would've happened with or without that stupid bed. I wouldn't have been able to resist that smile or that laugh, nothing would've kept me away from you"
Bucky scooped you into his arms and sat you down on his lap and he settled under the blanket fort, keeping you straddled on him while his hands wrapped around your waist.
"Believe me when I say you're the only girl I've ever fallen for, the only one I've ever wanted. I never ever wanted to hurt you baby and I'll spend the rest of my life making sure you never cry again, if you'd have me. I hate seeing you cry sweets, especially because of me. I just want to love you baby, please?"
His voice cracked at the end, bottom lip quivering as he nervously traced his thumbs along your hips. What if he lost you forever, he wouldn't know what to do with himself, not when he adored you so much.
"I love you y/n, you're my dream girl, my everything, no one else comes even close-"
You cut off his rambling, smashing your lips against his, a soft sob slipping past his lips between kisses as he desperately clung onto you.
"Do-do you forgive me?" Bucky sniffled, breathing out a sigh of relief when you pressed your forehead against his, nodding and slinging your arms around his shoulders. "Please say it angel, I-fuck-I'm so sorry, I missed you so much"
"I forgive you" you whispered, squeaking when Bucky pulled you to cuddle into the pile of pillows and blankets he'd laid out, wanting nothing more than to kiss and cuddle you between cute cheesy rom coms you loved so much. He smiled at the giggles you let out as he attacked you with unrelenting kisses again, breathing in your scent and feeling your body finally wrapped up with his again.
"I missed you so much angel"
"Missed you to Jamie" You kissed his nose, caressing his face as he nuzzled into the crook of your neck, knowing Sam and Steve were probably creeping from some corner. "I love you"
"Love you more bella" Bucky smiled, letting you pick a movie, pulling a fluffy blanket up to cover you both. "Loved you from day one"
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moonlightspencie · 5 months
Text
only like you can
Description: based on ‘already over’ by sabrina carpenter— ex boyfriend!james and reader just can’t seem to stay away from each other.
Pairing: James Potter x fem!Reader
Warnings: some suggestive content (pg-13 pretty much), angst with a happy ending, lily evans is mean in this one for the plot
Word Count: 7.9k
A/N: aging them up to allow for the suggestive content. they’ll be 19 in this (first year starts at 14 instead of 11)
here’s the playlist
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Running through the halls as a first year with your brand new group of friends, you never would imagine you’d end up dating one of them. You definitely never thought you’d have a break-up with one of them.
But, you just had to fall for Jamie in your third year. And he just had to ask you out in fifth. You were blindsided by his confession in the best way, and falling into a relationship with your closest friend was as easy as falling asleep.
Overexcited hugs after he’d win a quidditch game turned into kisses. Whispers of goodnight as you headed off to different rooms turned into sneaking into one another’s beds. The casual ‘I love you’ between friends turned into a kind of love that had both of you thinking about the future.
But, things changed again after a year.
Accusations started getting thrown around left and right. He’d say that you weren’t making time for him anymore. You’d argue that he seemed more interested in spending time with Lily. A back-and-forth would always spread like wildfire until you couldn’t breathe.
The break up was mostly mutual. You said you wanted it to happen, but you knew you were lying to yourself. He agreed, but it was only because he didn’t want you to know he was still invested. It left both of you putting happy faces over broken hearts, agreeing that you’d still be friends despite the fact that you knew you’d never get over him if he stuck around. But, never getting over him still felt better than losing him entirely.
You were sat in the common room, laughing over some dumb joke Sirius had made at Lucius Malfoy’s expense. The fire was blazing, keeping you all warm in the late-autumn that was otherwise freezing. You were next to James on the couch, Sirius was on the floor in front of the fire, and Remus and Peter were in a couple of chairs. It was nice. Cozy. But, coming down from your laughter, you let your head drop to the side, finding a familiar comfort.
Remus looked at you as you did, quirking a brow. You’d landed on James’ shoulder.
“You two back together?” he asked.
“Oh,” you said, quickly lifting your head again. “Sorry, Jamie.”
He shook his head. “It’s alright. Habit.”
You nodded. “Yeah.”
A tense silence fell over the small group. Then, James stood.
“I’m going to grab a sweater. Be right back,” he announced, walking towards the stairs.
You looked after him until he was out of your sight, turning your head to find three pairs of eyes on you.
“Love,” Sirius said cautiously, almost grimacing.
“I know,” you sighed, leaning back into the couch. “I know. I just— It’s hard.”
He sighed, moving from his spot to sit in James’ spot on the couch. He tossed an arm around your shoulders, squeezing you into his side a little.
“Might help if you two quit finding ways to be next to each other every time we go someplace,” he said quietly.
You nodded. “I know.”
“Why did you two break up if you both clearly want to be around each other all the time?” Peter asked, furrowing his brow.
“We weren’t good together.”
The three boys shot each other similar looks, knowing there was nothing they could say to help you in that moment. You merely sighed, staring into the fire as Remus tried to redirect the conversation.
James came back a minute later as they chatted over some fiasco in Potions class, a sour look on his face when he saw Sirius had taken his spot. His brow only set harder when he saw the arm around your shoulders. He sat in another chair, following your gaze into the fire, not wanting to look at his best friend and now-ex-girlfriend practically cuddling. It made him sick.
You didn’t feel much better, noticing him looking so downtrodden and being unable to kiss away that frown of his.
But you had to remind yourself of why you broke up in the first place. ‘It’s for the better’, you kept repeating to yourself in your head, trying to block out how badly you wanted to just talk to him. It was getting ridiculous, you knew that. It didn’t make it any easier, though.
“I think I’m ready for bed,” you mentioned after half an hour of sitting quietly.
A small chorus of ‘goodnight’ followed you to the stairs, and you trudged up to your room, feeling gloomy. You brushed your teeth, washed your face, and pulled on your pajamas. It was days like this that you were glad you got a single room for the year. You settled into your bed, cracking open the book on your nightstand to practice a little escapism. You were two chapters deep when you heard a knock on your door.
You crawled out of bed, rubbing your eyes as you went to open the door. When you pulled it open, your eyes went a little wider.
“Hey,” James said, looking shy.
You swallowed. “Oh. Hi.”
“Could we talk? Please?”
You contemplated it for a moment, trying to tell yourself it was a bad idea. But it was late. And you missed him. And you really didn’t want to turn him away.
“Yeah. Come in,” you said quietly, a small smile on your face.
He walked in slowly, unsure, as if he hadn’t spent the entirety of the past year sneaking in every other day. You looked at his back for a moment, noticing him with his hands up in front of his stomach.
“Don’t pick at your nails, Jamie,” you said, moving around him to sit on your bed.
He chuckled softly. “How’d you know? You couldn’t even see my hands.”
“How wouldn’t I know?”
His smile faded a bit at that. “Right.”
You sat quietly for a minute, practically hearing the gears turning in his head. He stared out the window in your room, his brows a little furrowed.
“What is it, James?”
His eyes snapped to yours. He sighed, looking at your bed.
“Can I sit?” he gestured next to you.
“Yeah,” you nodded, scooting to give him some more room.
He sat, looking around at anything but you.
“What’s up?”
He shrugged. “Uh, I don’t know. It’s probably nothing, you know.”
“You came to talk to me about it.”
“Yeah,” he nodded, chuckling to himself humorlessly. “I don’t want this to come across weird.”
“It’s fine, James. I’m used to you.”
He smiled, though it dropped quickly. “Is there something going on with you and Padfoot?”
Your eyes went wide, a laugh escaping you.
“Excuse me?”
“He took my spot on the couch. Kinda cuddling you.”
“James,” you said, getting his attention. “That’s insane. He sat with me because I was sad. He was being a friend, like every other time he’s hugged me or comforted me.”
He nodded, letting out a breath. “Sorry. Just got a little paranoid, I guess.”
“That’s okay. I get it.”
He swallowed. “Do you not want to be around me?”
“Why would you ask that? We agreed to be friends after…”
“I know, but I just don’t know how to act around you now.”
You took a deep breath. “I’m sorry. I don’t know how to do this, either. We’re in a weird place, now.”
“Yeah,” he breathed out.
You looked at him for a moment, and he shot you another shy smile. It was strange to see him so timid, but you couldn’t help but smile back. Even acting so strangely, he was still the same old Jamie.
“Is that all? I’m pretty tired.”
He nodded. “Oh, yeah. That’s it. Sorry.”
“Don’t apologize. It’s okay.”
He started standing, and you walked him to the door. He suddenly pulled you into a hug, holding you tightly to his chest. You leaned into him, relishing in that feeling while you could. He pulled away, opening your door.
“Night, Jamie.”
“Goodnight,” he smiled, not moving.
He quickly leaned down, just barely pressing his lips to yours, but it was enough to send your heart fluttering. He pulled back as quickly as he leaned in, muttering a quick ‘sorry’ before leaving. You shut your door, the tension in your body finally releasing. You fell into a restless sleep that night.
The following week felt as difficult as the first week after the break up. Sirius and Remus would try to comfort you, and Peter would offer silly jokes to stop you from looking so sad all the time.
You’d gone to dinner with Remus and Peter after they’d pleaded with you that night, figuring you still needed to eat despite your feelings. No sense in making yourself feel even worse if you could help it.
Dinner was surprisingly good. You laughed with the two boys, almost forgetting about your troubles as you chatted with them. Until you heard a pretty loud mention of ‘James’ coming from a few people down the table.
You paused, listening when you heard his name come out of Lily’s mouth. You focused hard on your plate, hoping she’d keep up her volume. Yeah, it was probably wrong to snoop, but you couldn’t bring yourself to care all that much.
“… Maybe this weekend,” she said, a few giggles coming from her friends. “He always goes to Hogsmeade on Sunday afternoons.”
“Now that he doesn’t have that girl hanging on him, you actually might have a chance,” one of her friends added in, to which you clenched your jaw in annoyance.
“Maybe. He’s been pretty off since they broke up.”
“Good,” another girl added. “It probably means he needs a reason to move on.”
You decided you’d heard enough, standing from your spot.
“Where are you going?” Peter asked, looking to Remus with a frown.
“Common room. I’ll see you guys soon,” you said, waving a goodbye to both boys.
You were fuming as you walked back to the common room. It hurt more than you thought it would to think about him with anyone else, but especially her. You’d never been too sure about her intentions with the friendship she had with James, and this just solidified your concerns. Not to mention, her friends clearly didn’t like you. You didn’t even know them, and they had to nerve to talk about you like you were merely an inconvenience the whole time. You were stewing in that feeling, trying not to let it affect you too much, and failing miserably. You didn’t even notice your name being called behind you.
“Y/N,” he called again.
You looked up, turning towards James’ voice. His face dropped when he saw you.
“Hey,” he said, rushing forward to you. “What’s wrong?”
You shook your head. “Just upset.”
“Why?”
“Doesn’t matter.”
He sighed, leaning over to catch your eye. You chewed on your lip, the pit in your stomach only growing. You couldn’t stop thinking about Lily’s plan for the weekend, especially now that you were face to face with him.
“It matters to me,” he said softly. “Please? I just want to help.”
“You can’t help, Jamie,” you shook your head.
He was silent for a moment, thinking. You fiddled with your hands, looking down at your shoes. He called your name again, quietly, to get your attention. You looked up, heart still fluttering when you looked in his eyes.
“How about we go steal some of Mooney’s chocolate and just sit for a while?” he offered. “Then, maybe we can talk later?”
You couldn’t help but smile a little at the suggestion. You didn’t even think it could be considered stealing anymore. Remus always stocked up extra on his desk, knowing his roommates were prone to grabbing some every now and then.
“I’m taking that smile as a ‘yes’,” he said, a smile growing on his own face. “Come on.”
You walked alongside him as you headed towards Gryffindor tower, holding yourself back from taking his hand. Particularly flexing your self-control muscle when his fingers would brush softly against the back of your hand.
“You know, he just got some with caramel in the middle,” James mentioned as you climbed the stairs.
“Yeah? Are they any good?”
“Mm,” he nodded enthusiastically. “Very. I think you’ll like them.”
You laughed. “Sounds like you do, doesn’t it?”
He snorted a laugh. “How’d you tell?”
“It’s my sixth sense.”
“Sure, it is,” he responded. “I always thought it was knowing when I was picking at my nails.”
“See, that’s just me knowing you after all these years. Bit different.”
He chuckled, saying the password to let you into the common room. The portrait swung open, and he snuck you up to the boys’ shared room.
“Here we are,” he said mischievously, walking towards Mooney’s desk.
You shut the dorm door, walking over as he handed you a few chocolates.
“Thank you.”
“Thank Mooney,” he said, smirking. “Let’s sit. Come on.”
You took a breath, sitting with him on his bed. It all felt okay, until you remembered why you were there in the first place.
You opened the wrapping on one of the chocolates, popping it in your mouth silently. James watched you, sighing softly when you didn’t say anything after a few minutes.
“Don’t like when you’re quiet like this,” he mumbled. “Scares me.”
“Scares you?” you questioned.
“Well, last time you were quiet like this, we had a conversation that…” he shrugged. “It wasn’t very fun, was it?”
You hummed. ‘Not very fun’ was an understatement. The day you broke up, you sobbed until you threw up.
“Sorry,” you said. “I could start yelling if you’d like?”
He laughed. “Don’t think I’d like that much, either.”
You smiled, though it was half-hearted. He could tell.
“You sure you don’t want to talk about it?”
You shrugged. “I’ll just have to get over it. I don’t think there’s much to talk about, honestly.”
“Alright,” he conceded. “Would it make you feel better to… I don’t know. Read?”
“You’d read?” you asked, amused.
“No, I’d made you read to me,” he said, nudging your shoulder with his.
“Don’t know if I’m up to that, right now.”
“Later?”
“When?”
He shrugged. “I don’t know. Maybe tomorrow?”
“What’s today? Friday?”
He nodded. “Yeah.”
You considered it, liking the idea of spending more time with him despite how bad of an idea it was to be alone. Especially after last time.
Then, a worse idea came to mind.
“How about Sunday?”
He raised a brow. “Sunday?”
You nodded. “If that’s okay. I know that’s a Hogsmeade day, but everyone will be out of the castle. We’d get to sit by the fire in the common room. It would be nice and quiet.”
He cracked a small smile. “That does sound nice. Can I pick the book?”
“Of course,” you nodded.
You knew it was a little underhanded, taking him away from Hogsmeade for the day. It was really just a form of delaying the inevitable. He was bound to move on eventually. But why did it have to happen that weekend? He could wait a little bit longer, you reasoned.
Though, you still knew the real reason was that you would do anything to keep him from hanging off of someone else’s lips. You didn’t quite care if it was a bit selfish.
Saturday came and went. Sunday morning you woke up with a small smile on your face. Despite the fact that it may have been a bad idea to set aside alone time with your ex, especially just to get him away from another girl, it felt nice to relish in the familiarity of being with him.
Hours later you were curled up on the couch with James looking over your shoulder as you read to him. He’d make a stray comment here and there about the plot or laugh at the jokes, but was otherwise surprisingly tuned in. You were halfway through when he yawned.
“Tired?” you asked, pausing your reading to look up at him.
“A bit,” he shrugged. “Didn’t sleep much last night.”
“Oh.”
You furrowed your brow as you looked away, then glanced back at him.
“Everything okay?”
He nodded, a smile creeping onto his face. “Just too excited for you to read to me, I bet.”
You chuckled, ignoring the heat in your cheeks as you turned back towards the book, ready to start reading again. Then, he started shuffling around.
“What are you doing?” you asked with a sigh.
“Gonna lay down,” he shrugged, “Can I…”
He paused, scrunching up his face a bit. You watched him, questioning.
“Can you what?”
“Probably a bad idea,” he said shortly, shaking his head.
“Just tell me.”
He looked a little shy as he glanced at you. “Was gonna ask if I could lay on your lap.”
“Oh,” you said, nodding once. “Well, as long as you don’t try any funny business, I don’t see why not. It’s preferable to you putting your feet on me if you lay the opposite way.”
He laughed. “I suppose that’s true.”
He waited another moment, then started laying down, his head resting on your legs. Once he was comfortable, you started reading again. After a while, you weren’t even sure if he was awake anymore.
Even more time passed, and you heard him softly snoring, a smile on your face as you looked down at him, one of his hands having squeezed it’s way under your leg. You ran a hand through his hair absentmindedly, continuing your reading silently.
An hour later and you were finished with the book, your hand still brushing through his hair as a habit. You watched him for a few minutes, letting out a soft breath.
“Jamie,” you called quietly, the hand in his hair moving to brush across his cheek. “James.”
He stirred, groaning. “Mm?”
“You fell asleep,” you said with a grin. “I let you nap for a little over an hour, but if you want to sleep tonight you should probably wake up.”
He grumbled, rubbing at his eyes with his free hand. “Don’t wanna get up.”
“Always so grumpy when you wake up,” you mumbled, more to yourself than anything. “Come on, Jamie. We can go snag some tea or go for a walk or something.”
He sighed softly, stretching out a little bit before he started moving away from your legs, pulling his hand out from under your thigh. He started sitting up, not realizing he was terribly close to you until you were looking at one another, feeling his gentle breathing fan on your face. You swallowed, trying hard not to glance down at the lips you knew were soft and skilled.
He didn’t care to try so hard.
He leaned in before you knew what was happening, kissing you like it was the first time. His hand came up to cradle your face, tilting your head to allow him to deepen the kiss, his tongue soft against your lip as he waited for you to grant him access. It certainly didn’t take you long to oblige him.
He leaned his body into you, and eventually started pulling you underneath him, your head hitting the couch cushions as he settled in between your legs. It was all desperation and passion as his hand slipped up under your top, brushing over the fabric of your bra to squeeze gently at your breasts. You leaned into his touch, soft noises escaping you and going directly into his mouth.
You felt his chest heaving against your own as you kissed, his hips rolling against you, desperate for friction that he’d missed for so long. Desperate for you.
You bit at his lip, breaking away only to kiss down his jaw. He hummed softly in satisfaction, but grew impatient, moving to capture your lips with his own once again.
It was only when a real moan managed to leave you and linger in the air that his hand stopped groping at you. His lips slowed, and he finally broke away, catching his breath like he’d been underwater.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered, the words rushed. “I shouldn’t have done that. Again.”
“Not your fault. I kissed you back.”
He chewed at his lip. “We should really stop this before it starts happening more.”
“We should,” you nodded.
He swallowed, eyes roaming over your face. You leaned up, capturing his lips again, this time gently. He allowed it, though this kiss lasted a much shorter time than the previous.
“Maybe we should take that walk,” you said, trying to break the tension.
“Might need to wait a few minutes, love,” he said, not-so-subtly glancing down at his pants.
You laughed, though you felt that funny feeling in your stomach when he called you ‘love’ again. You followed his gaze, raising your brows.
“Yeah. Probably don’t want to go around like that just in case. Not exactly hard to miss,” you snorted.
He rolled his eyes, sitting up straight. You watched him, moving to sit back up yourself. He stared ahead at the fireplace.
“Stop looking at me,” he said, not even glancing in your direction.
“What?” you laughed.
He glanced at you. “It’s not helping my little situation, you know?”
“Me looking at you is making it worse?”
“You existing is hard enough to ignore when I get like this,” he said with a laugh. “Not to mention when you can… You know. See it.”
“Well, I can’t exactly see it. You do still have pants on, you know?”
He chuckled, though he hid his face in his hands as his cheeks turned pink.
“Stop giving me ideas. It’s not fair, love.”
“Alright, alright,” you conceded, ignoring your own… feelings. “I’ll be quiet and look away.”
He nodded, shutting his eyes and letting his head loll back on the couch. You tried hard not to think about how effected he was, and tried even harder not to think about how effected you were. You stared at the window nearest to you, thinking about absolutely anything else. After a few minutes, he sighed.
“Okay. I think I’m good, now.”
You laughed, pulling him off of the couch and pulling on a sweater you’d brought along. You left the common room together, meandering in the halls talking about nothing. Before you knew it, more voices were joining your two in the corridors.
“Oh boy,” you said softly.
“What?”
You looked at James. “You really want to run into our friends right now?”
He hummed, then opened his mouth to speak. Only very briefly, though, as a familiar face came into view.
“James,” Lily beamed, ignoring your presence entirely. “We missed you in Hogsmeade. Why did you stay behind?”
James looked at you, quirking a brow curiously when she said ‘we missed you’. She’d never exactly been in the marauders group during Hogsmeade outings, and both of you knew it.
“Was just busy,” he shrugged.
“Too busy to hang out with us?”
“Who’s ‘us’?” James laughed. “Did you join in with the boys today?”
“No,” she shook her head. “Just… Thought it might be nice if you would have been around so we could have spent some time together.”
You held yourself back from rolling your eyes as she looked at him, twirling her hair almost cartoonishly as she spoke.
“Maybe some other time,” he said simply. “Had more important things to do today.”
“Aw,” she cooed, laughing to herself. “More important than me?”
You chimed in. “Ooh, with an ego like that, maybe you should try spending time with Sirius.”
James snorted a laugh, though Lily didn’t think it was quite so funny.
“At least I’m not hanging off my ex boyfriend.”
You furrowed your brow, ready to throw an insult right back at her.
“Why is that your business?” James said quickly. “We’re still friends. Friends are known to hang out, you know?”
She ripped her sour gaze from you, looking surprised that James would defend you. He didn’t give her time to reply, taking you by the arm and dragging you away from her before you did something he knew you’d regret. You huffed a sigh.
He started walking you towards the kitchens, you were sure, to get you some tea. You crossed your arms when he finally let you go, once again stewing in your annoyance.
“Trouble in paradise?” you asked, seemingly unable to hold your tongue.
“What?”
“Why did you defend me?” you asked. “I thought you and Evans were like… Involved.”
“Why would you think that?” he asked incredulously.
“After everything…” you stopped. “For one, she sure seems to think you’re an item. Or at least that you will be very soon.”
He sighed harshly. “I know you were always on edge about her, but you know I’ve never felt that way.”
“I was right to be on edge.”
“Why? I never would have done anything.”
You shrugged. “Freaked me out how much she liked you. And how much she hates me.”
“She doesn’t hate you.”
“Yes, she does. Her friends all gossip about me, you know? Like I’m just some obstacle standing in the way of you two getting together.”
“I don’t think that’s—”
“I heard it, James.”
He paused before you entered the kitchens, his brow set.
“What do you mean?”
You let out a breath. “Promise you won’t be mad at me?”
He merely raised his brows in question, waiting for your explanation.
“They were talking a few days ago during dinner and thought I couldn’t hear them. They were saying that you’d be easy to bag now that I’m not around and you’re, like… emotionally compromised.”
“Emotionally compromised?”
“Not in those words, but… Yeah. That was the jist of it.”
He shook his head. “Why would they say that?”
“Because she’s always been into you, James. It’s why I didn’t like you guys together all the time, it made me feel really insecure.”
He had the decency to look a little guilty before he perked back up.
“Wait, why would I be mad at you for that?”
You sighed, wishing you could avoid this particular bit about what you’d overheard.
“She, uh,” you looked away. “She was planning on making a move on you today. That’s why her friends were talking about you.”
“And?”
“And, I might have asked you to stay behind today because I knew about her plan.”
The wall to the side of you looked very interesting in that moment. So interesting, in fact, that you didn’t notice the smirk on James’ face until he started speaking.
“You made me stay back to read with you so Lily couldn’t try to… what? Stare at me all afternoon?”
You frowned deeper seeing the teasing look on his face.
“She’d probably try more than staring.”
“Oh? What, like snogging on the couch and letting me feel you up? Didn’t want something like that to happen?”
You smacked his arm. “Asshole.”
He shook his head, tucking you under his arm as he ushered you to the doors.
“Can’t believe you sabotaged her.”
“So you think—”
“I think it’s kinda hot.”
You bit back a smirk, shaking your head. “Shut up.”
Almost two weeks later and you felt more down than ever. After your tea, you’d had another conversation about how you really shouldn’t be alone like that. You knew it was for the best, but it still hurt to reinforce the idea that Sunday would be nothing more than a post-break up slip-up. James himself started to say it was mistake. He only stopped when he saw your face drop, changing his wording, but still meaning the same thing. You tried shaking it off, but you couldn’t stop the memories of how it felt to be under him again.
Though, it turned out that James wasn’t having it any easier.
“What’s been wrong with you, mate?” Remus asked, walking towards his bed.
James turned his head to look at his friend, his cheek still squished into the pillow.
“I don’t know. I just feel awful.”
Remus sat on the edge of his bed. “You’ve been really off the past two weeks. Something happen?”
James shrugged, not responding.
“You know you can talk to us? Better than rotting away in bed all day.”
“I don’t know, Mooney,” James said, shoving his face back into his pillow. “I just miss her.”
Remus huffed a sigh, patting his friend on the back.
“I know you do.” He readjusted his seat on the bed. “Have you talked to her about, well, anything?”
“Yeah, we tried,” James replied, though he knew that it didn’t exactly go to plan when he did. “Doesn’t make it hurt less.”
“Do you want to opt out of the prank tonight? The boys would understand if you didn’t want to be around her.”
“No,” he said quickly, lifting his head. “No. I want to be there.”
“Alright. You’ll have to get out of bed for that, you know?”
James snorted, pushing Remus off his bed.
“Ah, screw off, Moons.”
Remus chuckled to himself. “Dinner is starting soon if you want to eat. She’ll be there, but we can keep you guys apart.”
“I don’t think being apart is helping.”
Remus looked on, disagreeing, but not willing to argue. “Alright. Well, get ready. I’m going to walk over in ten minutes.”
Remus left the room, heading off to wait in common room to give James some privacy. He was leaned against the back of a couch, fiddling with the edge of his sweater, when you slid next to where he stood.
“Hey, Mooney.”
He smiled. “Hey.”
“Are you going to dinner soon? I was thinking of heading down.”
He nodded. “Waiting on Prongs.”
“Ah,” you nodded. “He okay? He wasn’t in Defense Against the Dark Arts today. Not like him to skip that class.”
Remus swallowed. “He’s been a little under the weather.”
“Oh. That’s too bad.”
“Yeah. He’ll be okay, though.”
You sighed. “Is he coming tonight, still?”
“Mhm,” he nodded. “Just asked him.”
“Okay.”
“Is that… Okay with you?”
You looked at him with wide eyes. “Of course. Why wouldn’t it be?”
He gave you a knowing look, nudging your arm with his own.
“You’ve been a little sad lately. I can tell,” he said quietly. “Think I know why, too.”
You hummed. “I’ll be fine. Just difficult right now.”
“If you ever need anything…”
“I know,” you laughed. “Promise I’ll tell you if I do.”
He smiled, turning back forward and crossing is arms. You waiting in a comfortable silence, though you stood noticeably straighter when James came down the stairs. He stuttered in his steps when he saw you, a shy smile immediately on his face.
“Hey.”
“Hey, Jamie,” you said, returning his smile.
Remus looked between the two of you seemingly in a staring contest for a few seconds before clearing his throat. You both looked at him, clearly a little embarrassed.
“Ready, you two?”
“Yeah,” you said as James merely nodded.
You walked to the great hall in an obviously-tense silence. Remus was starting to regret getting James out of bed, the whole group feeling a little awkward as neither of you could keep your eyes off each other.
“Geez,” Peter started, clearly not reading the room. “You two didn’t stare at each other this much when you were dating.”
Sirius slapped him on the shoulder, shaking his head. You were hoping they’d eat a little faster so that you didn’t have to sit across from James anymore, even though you never minded the view.
Your wish came true, but you weren’t sure if you were in a better position, now. You’d gone back to the boys’ dorm to plan out the prank: turning the black lake blue. What you hadn’t anticipated in this plan was that one of the more uptight prefects would be wandering around the lake when you’d done your magic on it.
You were currently running through the trees, trying to get out of the sight of the boy. Though, at some point James had taken your hand, dragging you behind him. You chocked it up to a force of habit, as you found yourself doing quite often since you’d broken up. But you weren’t sure how much you could blame on habit as he pinned your back against a tree, staring down at you like he was going to kiss you again.
“Jamie—”
“Shh,” he shook his head, bringing a finger to his lips.
You waited in a tension-filled silence, hearing footsteps zoom past, just far enough where you wouldn’t get caught if you stayed still. You stood and listened until you were sure you were in the clear. But James didn’t move.
“He’s gone,” you whispered.
“Yeah.”
“We could go.”
“We could,” he nodded in agreement.
You looked up at him, admiring his features lit up in the moonlight. Your next move you’d blame entirely on gravity. It was magnetic, the way you came together. Neither of your faults, really.
Or so you told yourself.
You kissed him against that tree for far too long, feeling giddy and breathless when you finally pulled away.
“Bad idea,” you stated.
“Really bad idea,” he nodded. “Couldn’t help being alone this time, though. I don’t think it’s our fault.”
You chuckled. “You sound like me.”
“Not a bad thing, I don’t think.”
You shrugged, looking at him with stars in your eyes. You tried thinking of anything to talk about to keep your mouth busy.
“Full moon is coming up.”
He nodded. “Yeah. Mooney started feeling a little sick this morning. Probably’ll get worse the next couple days.”
“Right. You three going with him, again?”
“Yeah,” he nodded again. “You’ll be there to patch us up if we need it, again?”
“Always.”
He smiled, eyes flicking down to your lips again.
“Jamie, don’t do that,” you shook your head.
“Why not? I’ve missed you so much.”
“I know,” you melted a little. “I have too, but if you keep looking at me like that, we won’t just be kissing.”
He raised his brows. “I wouldn’t mind that.”
You chuckled, a smile on his face as he watched you.
“That’s the kind of bad idea I think we couldn’t bounce back from so easily.”
He hummed, jokingly discontent. Though, he did plan on keeping the thought of what could have been in his head for when he was alone. He moved away from you, holding out his hand.
“Let’s go back inside, yeah?”
You nodded, taking his hand and letting him lead you back towards the castle. That Saturday morning he’d come back unscathed from their time during Remus’ transformation. They surprisingly all had, much to your delight. All that had to be down was getting Remus into bed so that he could sleep it off as the morning came around.
You walked into their room that afternoon to find Remus, passed out, tangled up in his blankets. You smiled, leaving a fresh cup of water on his nightstand for when he woke up. All of them seemed to be asleep. It had been a long night.
You leaned down, pressing a soft kiss to Remus’ forehead, then turned to leave.
“Y/N?”
You turned back around, replying in a quiet voice. “Oh. Hi, Jamie. Why are you awake?”
“Dunno. Just couldn’t sleep since we got back.”
You hummed. “I’m sorry.”
“S’okay,” he mumbled. “You do the work for potions yet?”
You shook your head. “No. Not yet.”
“Would it be okay if we…” he started asking, looking at you fully as he sat up. “I don’t understand it. I could use some help.”
You smiled softly. “Of course. I can go get my stuff—”
“I could just come with you,” he said quickly. “Don’t want to wake the others, anyway.”
You nodded. “Okay. Yeah, that’s fine.”
He trailed after you sleepily, and you wondered why he’d want to even try to write an essay running on no sleep. It seemed silly at best, and was outright counterproductive.
He sat in your bed, rubbing at his eyes as he tried listening to you explain what you needed to do for the essay.
“Jamie, I don’t think you’re absorbing any of this,” you said with a light laugh.
He cracked a small smile. “Your bed is too comfy. I always wanna fall asleep here.”
You sighed. “Why don’t you take a nap, then? I can finish my essay and help you when you wake up.”
“You sure you don’t want to lay down, too?”
You snorted. “That’s asking for trouble.”
“Just for a little? Promise I’ll do the work later,” he said, giving you wide, pleading eyes. “You always help me sleep better.”
“You’re ridiculous.”
You set aside your work, laying next to him, pulling a blanket over both of you. He smiled as you snuggled into the pillow.
“What?” you asked.
He shrugged, the smile stuck on his face. “Nothing.”
You closed your eyes, feeling his arms pull you into his chest, but choosing not to say anything about it.
You woke half an hour later, and, as promised, James worked on his essay with you.
It became habit. Every Saturday you’d meet up to work on homework. A way to be together without being together. You mostly held back from kissing him, but he couldn’t always say the same. Then, inevitably, every Sunday you’d feel your heartbreak as you’d have the same conversation about how bad of an idea it was to keep doing this every week.
But you couldn’t stop.
Another weekend, another opportunity to pretend like you the study date in James’ room wouldn’t take a turn. You sat across from him on his bed, a book and some parchment in front of you.
“I don’t know why we have to write an essay on centaurs, anyways,” you huffed. “I feel like we’ve already discussed everything we needed to in class.”
James shrugged. “At least it’s only two pages. Could be worse.”
You grumbled your dissent, shutting the book after you’d written only half a page. He looked up at you, a smirk on his lips at your dramatics. He rolled his eyes playfully at you, shutting his own book.
“Alright. Do you want to go over the History of Magic assignment?” he questioned.
“Not particularly.”
“Good,” he said with a breath. “I really didn’t want to either.”
You snorted. “Why’d you ask then?”
He shrugged, moving both bits of parchment and the books off to the side.
“Trying to find a reason not to kiss you.”
You rolled your eyes. “We both know that’s a bad idea.”
“Yeah,” he nodded. “Hasn’t stopped us before, though, has it?”
You bit back a smile, not moving when he moved closer towards you. He reached a hand up, brushing his thumb over your bottom lip with the rest of his hand resting on your jaw. You watched him carefully, taking in the way his eyes sparkled as he looked at you in the warm lighting.
“Jamie…”
“Tell me you don’t want me to.”
You shook your head. “I can’t say that.”
He nodded, moving even closer, almost waiting for a sign that you’d push him away. That sign never came. He leaned in, ghosting his lips over yours until you took the lead, finally pressing against him. He pulled you into his lap immediately, arms holding you in like he was afraid you’d slip away from him if he didn’t. Your arms wrapped around his neck, one hand playing with the soft hair at his neck the way he always loved.
He smiled into your kiss, deepening it when you pushed up against him desperately.
Good things never seemed to last, though.
The door swung open suddenly, and you jumped away from James, clearly having been doing something you really shouldn’t have been. Sirius stared at the two of you, a look on his face that you seldom saw from him.
“We were just—” James started, but stopped immediately.
You were just what? There was no way to explain your way out of what Sirius had seen.
He shut the door behind him. Lingering near it with his arms crossed.
“Pads…” you said, unsure what you even wanted to say.
“You’ve got to stop this,” he said plainly, looking between you both. “Whatever this is, it needs to be done. The sneaking around was cute in the beginning, but I’m sick of it, now.”
Your stomach dropped, scooting even further away from where James sat stock-still on the bed.
Sirius sighed. “I love being your friend, both of you. But, Y/N, comforting you every time this happens is insane. Especially when you’re trying to pretend it isn’t because of you two holding on to each other when you clearly think you shouldn’t be.”
You nodded solemnly. He shifted his attention to James.
“I’ve had to listen to you cry yourself to sleep too many times, mate. It’s been months of this. You keep hurting yourselves and each other over and over again, and for what? An easy lay?”
“It’s not like that,” James said quickly.
“Then what is it?” Sirius asked pointedly.
You swallowed, turning to see James look like he was holding back tears as he stared back at his friend.
“I— I love her,” he said breathlessly. “You don’t know what this is like, Sirius. She’s my…”
You found yourself staring at him as he spoke, your heart beating out of your chest. You swallowed with a dry throat, unsure what to do. You felt frozen.
“You both agreed you couldn’t be together anymore, did you not?” Sirius asked, though not without a softness in his tone. “I’m sorry this is hard for you both, I am, but it’s been hard for the rest of us, too. We’re constantly wrapped up in trying to help you both out of this, but you keep going back behind our backs when you know it’s just hurting more.”
“I don’t know what to do,” James said, turning his gaze to you. “I don’t know what to do. I— I don’t know how I’m supposed to just be your friend. I don’t know how I’m supposed to pretend like I’m not in love with you. Like I haven’t imagined marrying you since we were fifteen. I don’t know why you wanted to break up.”
You felt tears sting your eyes. “You said you wanted to, too.”
“I lied,” he exclaimed. “I only said that because I was scared. I didn’t want to admit that I never wanted to leave you when you were telling me you didn’t think I was worth it anymore.”
Your mouth dropped open, tears falling down your cheeks. “I never said that.”
He opened his mouth to speak, then clamped it shut again. Before you had a chance to say anything else, he was launching himself out of bed, pushing past Sirius and out the door.
“Jamie—” you tried, though it fell on deaf ears.
You buried your face in your hands, letting your tears fall. You felt the bed dip next to you, Sirius’ arms curling around you and pulling you in. Your head fell on his shoulder as you cried.
“I didn’t know he didn’t… I thought he wanted things to end. I didn’t know he’s been so upset.”
His hand rubbed on your back. “You’ve both been holding onto this for too long. At this point, do you even want to be broken up?”
“We were always arguing together. The last two months we were together was nothing but going at each other.”
“What about now?”
You wiped your eyes, looking at him. “What do you mean?”
“Do you still think it’s for the best? Because you clearly can’t stay away from each other,” he said, then sighed. “Either you guys need to distance yourselves or get back together. I hate seeing you cry like this.”
“Even if I wanted to be with him, I don’t think it would work.”
“Why not?”
“He wouldn’t want—”
“He just told you he’s in love with you,” Sirius exclaimed. “He never stops talking about you and how much he misses you. He cries himself to sleep over you, and then dreams about you when he finally passes out. Of course he’d want to be with you, don’t be stupid.”
Your eyes widened. “Since when are you mean to me?”
“Since you started talking with no sense. You’re supposed to be the smart one out of all of us.”
You smiled, shaking your head as he laughed.
“Just, quit acting like you two aren’t crazy for each other. You have been since we were kids,” he said, shrugging in disbelief. “You need to talk to him. And I mean talk, not…” he raised a brow.
“Yeah, yeah. I know.”
“You know where he ran off to?”
“Probably that silly tree of his in the courtyard?”
He nodded. “That would be my guess.”
“Thanks, Siri,” you said, hugging him before you stood. “Wish me luck.”
“If either of you comes back crying, this better be the last time,” he said, hiding a smile with raised brows.
“I’ll do my best,” you smiled, leaving the room.
You were right about where he’d be. You walked up to James as he sat on the ground under the tree, staying quiet for a few moments as you breathed in the cold air.
“Why are you here?” he asked, looking straight ahead.
“Sirius talked some sense into me. He’s being surprisingly mature today. It’s scary.”
He nodded. “He does that on occasion.”
“I’m sorry,” you said.
He shrugged. “S’fine.”
“It’s not,” you replied, shaking your head. “I keep hurting you, and I hate that. I didn’t know it was that bad for you.”
“How couldn’t you?”
“When we had that conversation, when we broke up, I thought you’d be fine. I was convinced you’d be better off without me, and I thought that maybe we’d be better as friends. We wouldn’t stop arguing over stupid shit.”
“We could have worked it out.”
“We never talked about it.”
He sighed. “I guess.”
You let a silence wash over you for a minute, feeling him moving a little closer to you.
“It’s cold out here. You’re not dressed warm enough.”
“I’m fine. Not cold yet,” you said.
He hummed. “What did Sirius say?”
“Thinks we should either stay away from each other or get back together. Really, he told me those were the two options.”
“So you came out here to let me down easy for the last time?”
You reached out, touching his arm. He looked at you, furrowing his brows. You smiled softly.
“I was actually coming out to see if you hated me. In the hopes that you don’t—”
“That’s not funny.”
“I’m not joking.”
His face softened. “Don’t say that if you don’t mean it. Please.”
“Jamie, I never stopped loving you. I shouldn’t have ever… I wish we would have just talked about everything. I hate not being with you,” you confessed. “Like, shit, James, we started scheduling study dates just to be around each other. I’ve never seen you so passionate about homework.”
He laughed. “It was never the homework I was excited about.”
“Me either.”
He watched you carefully. “You’d… You actually want to try this again? Us?”
“If you’d have me.”
He let out a breath, hands moving to your face as his lips pressed against yours. This time entirely uncaring if anyone saw you. He pulled away, pressing several soft kisses to your cheeks and forehead until you were laughing, pushing him away slightly.
“You really, really mean it?” he asked.
“Obviously we’ll have to talk about this. We need to make sure we actually communicate this time around.”
“Anything for you, love.”
“But yeah, I mean it.”
He smiled brightly. “Evans is gonna be pissed when she sees us snogging in Hogsmeade this weekend.”
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