#it took us 45 years to win and this is only the second time ever we've placed in top 5

[because-its-eurovision]

FINLAND winning the televote with a record of 376 points and achieving the country’s second best placement ever after taking part in Eurovision for 62 years.

#feels like a dream #it took us 45 years to win and this is only the second time ever we've placed in top 5 #also we qualified three years in a row which is also a record :') #also Käärijä got more points from the televote than Lordi did with the same amount of countries #let that sink in #Lordi got an average of 8.1 points per country #Käärijä got an average of 10.4 points per country #Lordi got 12 points from 8 countries #Käärijä got 12 points from 18 countries #he is our biggest Eurovision hero of all time <3 #käärijä #finland #eurovision #2023

[afurioushawk]

The reality show that is the House of Representatives has been the craziest shit from Congress I’ve ever seen in my life. In the past seven months, we’ve had:

Starting things off right, the Speaker taking fifteen votes to get elected. The last time it took more than one vote to secure a Speaker was over a hundred years ago. And on the fourteenth vote, Rogers had to be restrained from attacking Gaetz after he voted against McCarthy again when they were all supposed to have been on the same page at that point.

Hyperfocusing on Hunter Biden because the House GOP believes that the deletion of his nonconsenual nudes from Twitter was a move on Joe Biden’s part to influence the 2020 election (despite him not being in office at the time). It’s been nonstop talk about Hunter’s dick pics for months. You haven’t seen Republicans this obsessed with Democratic cock since Clinton’s BJ.

The House GOP pushing to dismantle the FBI and DOJ for “going woke” AKA for not stopping the indictments against 45 and not stopping the upcoming indictments against certain members of Congress.

Gaetz citing a Chinese propaganda newspaper as evidence during a House Armed Services committee hearing about US aid to Ukraine.

The Freedom Caucus voting to tank the world economy, forcing the House Dems to swoop in and save the day (and by extension, McCarthy, since it was his bill).

Santos being indicted on thirteen counts of wire fraud, money laundering, stealing public funds, and lying on federal disclosure forms. And the House GOP have refused to have a vote on whether or not to impeach him because they need his vote.

Higgins roughly manhandling a civilian on tape.

Higgins sending a militia-coded message after 45′s second indictment telling his supporters to take the bridges and prepare for conflict.

The House GOP censuring Schiff for no reason whatsoever except out of retaliation, which backfired on the House GOP because now he’s raking in record-breaking fundraising and poised to win the CA senate seat.

Greene and Boebert getting into a pissing contest because Boebert introduced articles of impeachment against Biden first when Greene had been working for months to do it, culminating in Greene calling Boebert a “little bitch” on the House floor and getting kicked out of the Freedom Caucus for it.

Jordan and Comer backing a “whistleblower” who told them he had evidence that Hunter (and by extension Biden somehow) was involved in accepting bribes from Ukraine only to discover that not only was that not true, but the whistleblower is an unregistered foreign agent from the Chinese government, meaning the House GOP has (allegedly) been protecting and colluding with a spy to undermine the authority of the American president for months.

#this isn't even a comprehensive list #just the highlights

[bitchesgetriches]

The first car I ever bought was a 2003 Subaru Forester.

If you drove over 45 miles per hour, the wind whistled through the window seals thanks to a manufacturing defect. The interior was the same color as my dog, which necessitated traveling around with a lint roller if I didn’t want to walk into the office decorated in the fur of a golden brown mutt. It did great on the snow, great on dirt roads, and was the kind of vehicle I’d park three blocks away if I was heading to an important business meeting.

My partner referred to it as my “lesbian soccer mom car” and I was damn proud of the moniker!

Yet as with all old, used cars… its lifespan left a lot to be desired. And one day, while driving home from airport parking after a business trip… the damn thing died. Catastrophically.

CONTENT WARNING: MISUNDERSTOOD, INACCURATE AUTOMOTIVE EXPLANATION AHEAD.

Apparently while I was zooming along the highway, something called the “timing belt” blew, whipping around through my engine like a gd morningstar and smashing everything it came into contact with.

On a scale of one to ten, the damage was (checks notes)… expensive.

How I used my emergency fund

At this point I had a pretty emaciated emergency fund. I was prioritizing paying off my student loans at the time, and had bet on paying them off before any large, money-sucking emergency smashed into my life like the Kool-Aid Man.

It was exactly this optimistic assumption that probably killed my poor Subaru. For when it died, I found myself in the awkward position of having only about $4k left on my student loans… and only $1k in my emergency fund.

That wouldn’t be enough to fix my car, and it wasn’t enough to buy a new car. (Or at least it wouldn’t pay for the kind of car I wanted: something used, but in great shape, that I could drive for another twelve to fifteen years without requiring major repairs. For I believe in driving cars into the ground before even thinking about replacing them!)

But what I could afford was a bus pass for a few months.

How I used my second income

At the time I was commuting twenty miles one-way to work every day. (Worry not, bikevangelists, we were living barely two miles from my husband’s office, so at least one of us wasn’t committing gross crimes against the environment. And since then I’ve ditched car commuting altogether to work from home full-time. #winning) The trip typically took 35-45 minutes by car… or two hours by bus.

So I paid to ride the bus for a few months while I saved up for a new car. Fortunately, I had already built a side business to make extra money to throw at my student loans. Instead of hustling to make extra debt payments, I just hustled to save up a car down payment instead.

It delayed my freedom from student loans for a few months while I saved and rode the bus. But in the end my emergency fund, the sale of my broken down Subaru, and the money I made freelancing while riding the bus to and from my day job formed the basis of a down payment on a new car. And that baby’s still going strong!

- 3 Times I Was Damn Grateful for My Emergency Fund (And Side Income)

#emergency fund #car down payment #new car #side income #side hustle

[navtrust]

Sports teams chicago 1930

#Sports teams chicago 1930 full#

#Sports teams chicago 1930 tv#

Carmichael exhorted the record crowd of 18,307 over his mike to bring home O'Hara. Al Melgard pumped out college fight songs on the mighty Stadium organ. O'Hara had plenty of encouragement as he set the record that lasted more than a decade. It came when he set the indoor mile record of 3:56.4 in the Bankers Mile at Chicago Stadium in the 1964 Chicago Daily News Relays. This training prepared O'Hara for the run of his life. Before Magic Johnson and Michigan State beat Bird's team for the NCAA title, DePaul won third place by beating Penn 96-94 as Aguirre scored 34 points. In the Final Four at Salt Lake City, DePaul lost 76-74 to Indiana State and Larry Bird. A crowd of 13,000, which had adopted the Demons as their favorites, howled its approval. Meyer grabbed Garland, who was running off the court, and added him to the scene. Former Marquette coach Al McGuire interviewed his pal Meyer.

#Sports teams chicago 1930 tv#

The postgame celebration on TV kept growing. DePaul previously beat Southern California and Marquette in the West Regional. Freshman Mark Aguirre had 20, James Mitchem 14 and Clyde Bradshaw 13. Gary Garland and Curtis Watkins scored 24 points apiece. DePaul's 95-91 victory over UCLA at Brigham Young made the Blue Demons champs of the NCAA West Regional. Athletic Director-coach Ireland used part of the money to hire his first full-time assistant, Jerry Lyne, and the department's first secretary.įor the first time since his first season at DePaul back in 1942-43, Ray Meyer reached the Final Four as a coach. Ireland frequently said in later years he was most pleased that all five graduated and succeeded in life after basketball.įor winning the NCAA title, Loyola received $25,000.

#Sports teams chicago 1930 full#

This is the only Division I basketball title won by a school in Illinois.Īll five of Ireland's ironmen played the full 45 minutes. Then, at the buzzer in overtime, Rouse put back the rebound that won the title 60-58 and set off dances back on Sheridan Road. Loyola forced overtime and began to capture momentum. Loyola chipped away at Cincinnati's lead, in the process winning over most of the fans who were not gung-ho Bearcats boosters. Jack Egan, the smallest and perhaps toughest man on the floor, provided leadership and, at 5 feet 9 inches, won a clutch jump ball. Versatile Ron Miller contributed a little of everything. Victor Rouse and Les Hunter muscled control of the boards. This was before the days of a shot clock to help a trailing team.īut Jerry Harkness broke his shooting slump. Midway through the second half, the Bearcats, who excelled on defense and at protecting a lead, led by 15 points. Loyola took on tall, deep, talented, favored, two-time defending champion Cincinnati for the 1963 NCAA basketball title in Freedom Hall. But this was different.Ĭoach George Ireland's Loyola Ramblers had only nine players. The Bulls with Michael Jordan or the Bears with George Halas or Mike Ditka were expected to win. They were infielder Fred McMullin, pitcher Claude "Lefty" Williams, pitcher Eddie Cicotte, first baseman Arnold "Chick" Gandil, shortstop Charles "Swede" Risberg, outfielder Oscar "Happy" Felsch, third baseman George "Buck" Weaver and Jackson. 29, 1920.ĭespite appeals, none of the eight ever played again in organized ball. He upheld the ban Sox owner Charles Comiskey handed out when he suspended the players on Sept. Nevertheless, Commissioner Kenesaw Landis, employing his unlimited power, barred the eight players for life. The jury said, "It ain't so." It rendered a verdict of not guilty.

#Sports teams chicago 1930

[the-swedes-knees]

Time in A Bottle (Agent Mobius x Reader)

Summary: Everyone has a guilty pleasure. For Mobius, it's a slice of pie in a very specific slice of time.

Word Count: 1.8k

Located in the middle of Downtown, bordering on the corner of old-time druggies and newly gentrified condos was a moderate sized building with an exorbitant monthly rent. 

It was a theme restaurant, if the theme was 'we opened in 1953 and we'll be damned if we change the decor'- done up in chrome and frosted glass windows that clashed against the surrounding brick and mortar. The neon sign bearing the establishment's name had burnt out years ago, but it wasn't the type of place one would seek out.

Unless you were Mobius, that is.

[09:45:00]

Technically, he shouldn't be here.

His unit was nearly a mile out, or, more accurately, they would be within the hour. Dates like this, where a simple flap of a fat pigeon's wing could ripple into Nexus event after Nexus event had a name. A proper designation in their severity and frequency of necessary resets.

But he just always referred to them as 'a real pickle'.

You glance up at the front door as the brass bell affixed to the frame jingles loudly. The man that enters looks around the place before making eye contact with you and smiles. He points to the empty bar and you nod your head.

Once you finish refilling the other customer's drink, you see that he's made himself comfortable in the middle stool.

"Hey there." You greet from the opposite side of the counter. He offers a sheepish greeting in response as you set a water down in front of him, balancing a plastic straw on the rim of the glass. "Can I start you off with some coffee? Just made a fresh pot."

"That'd be great, thanks."

You place the mug and matching saucer in front of him and pour. For a moment you look up at him, and he's smiling a very genuine smile- something very rare these days.

As soon as it's full to the brim you're reaching under the counter and grabbing a clean glass sugar pourer, placing it right next to his cup.

"How'd you know?"

"Customer service intuition, I guess." He thanks you before unfurling the napkin containing his flatware. Like someone with real proper manners, he drapes the napkin over one of his legs before stirring an ample amount of sugar into his drink.

You can't help but notice just how much he fits in to the whole aesthetic with his well fitted brown suit and slim tie. New York offered a multiplicity of personalities, and you'd become quite numb to anything and everything that would walk through that door.

Yet, someone about this man was intriguing, familiar in a way. Like in the past life he was a PI that you hired to confirm your husband's affair.

Both a confidant, and a stranger.

"Feel free to take your time, but, do you know what you'd like?" You note his closed menu pushed to the side. He raises his eyebrows and nods while mid-sip, and you pull out a notepad and pen from your apron.

"Sure do, could I get two slices?" He points the vintage rotating pie cooler to your left and specifies his selection.

Easy enough. You put two generous slices onto separate plates, and he declines your offer of whipped cream or ice cream on top.

"Good choice, this one's my favorite."

"You don't say." The knowing twinkle in his eye wasn't noticed as you busied yourself with refilling his coffee. He holds his hands up in mock defeat and sighs. "Well, I guess you'll have to join me." The ceramic scraped against the quartz tabletop as he pushed one of the plates across the bar, directly opposite himself.

"I'm on the clock-"

"Don't worry, another customer doesn't come in for-" He pauses to flex his arm, riding his jacket sleeve up just enough to check his wristwatch. "12 minutes and 43 seconds."

[09:52:16]

"Am I supposed to trust you on that?" You raise an eyebrow, and his only response is a slight head tilt and pushing the second slice a nudge closer to you.

It wasn't every day courteous men offered you a break in the form of your favorite desert. Your face screwed up in contemplation as you looked at the only other two patrons in the diner before giving in and grabbing a second set of flatware. "Well, it is slow-"

"For a Friday?" He has another bite before setting down his fork and dabbing at his face with his napkin.

"Is it Friday already?" You sigh, bent over the counter to take a bite of the pie. Delicious as ever. "Hardly feels like it, all the days are melding together."

"I think this one will stand out."

"What is the date, anyway?"

"May 4th." You make a hum of acknowledgement and he gives you a lopsided grin. "2012, incase you forgot the year too."

"I'll mark it in my calendar," You laugh, using your hand to cover your mouth as you continue to chew. "'The Day I Met-'"

"Mobius." He introduces himself, extending his hand over the counter and you shake it. His grip is firm, authoritative. Before you can reply with your own name, he refers to you by it while maintaining perfect eye contact.

You can't explain why, but it feels so right when he says it. Like it was perfectly made to be pronounced in his charming Texan drawl with just the faintest hint of gravel.

While you're fixed in a stunned silence his eyes deliberately dart to the lapel of your uniform. You follow his gaze and laugh at yourself for neglecting that you were indeed wearing a nametag.

"So Mobius... like, from maths?"

"Yeah, like math." He eyes his untouched water and picks up the plastic straw. His fingers move carefully, removing the straw from the perorated paper. You watch with curiosity as the man twists the paper once and pinches the two ends together with his thumb and index finger.

Mobius holds his opposite hand out to you, confident, waiting. With a bemused smile you allow him to guide your hand. His skin is warm, presumably from the way he had cradled his coffee mug, but it's comforting in a way. His rough hand guides you, your finger tracing the geometry of the paper-straw shape.

"A path that twists and turns... but always ends back at the same spot."

"I wasn't very good at math." You admit, and gesture around as if working in a place like this was a testament to that fact. "Why does it matter that it always ends where it began?"

"Well, that all depends on perspective. Maybe it doesn't matter. But to the one who observes it, it makes all the difference." You quirk an eyebrow, silently pressing him to elaborate. "Maybe that point's... where you got your first kiss, the feeling when your favorite football team scores a winning touchdown, a perfect sunset-"

Mobius catches himself trailing off, and looks down at his plate. He puts another bite onto his fork and cheers it to you.

"Or having pie in good company."

You look around the mostly empty diner before bracing your arms against the counter, leaning in as if you were to whisper some great secret.

"Has anyone ever told you you're a bit odd?"

[09:59:06]

"No-" His eyes crinkle as he laughs. "No, that's a new one. But you find it charming." He winked, actually winked, and leaned back in his stool, smirking into his coffee.

Your fork was halfway to your mouth as your just stared at him, frozen. You feel your mouth open and close a few times as you try to think of a somewhat dignified response.

"How would you know that?"

"I just know things." He shrugged.

"Like what?" You challenged.

"How about, Paul- over there." You crane your head to follow his line of eye, your coworker currently bussing a table that had just left. "Worked in this place five years, loves Coke- from the glass bottle, nothing else. Has a girl on the Upper East Side and runs a decent sized internet radio station out of his apartment."

"You're one of his listeners." You narrowed your eyes at him, a perfectly reasonable explanation.

"Oh, no. Hyperpop... not my style."

"Alright, BBC Sherlock-" You countered. You give a subtle head tilt to a woman sitting in a far off booth, papers spread out on the table around her pancake combo. Whoever she was, she definitely wasn't a regular. "How about her?"

"Mrs. Braverman. Youngest of eight siblings, English teacher at the charter school up the avenue. Actually prefers imitation maple syrup to the real thing."

You know very well Mobius could be talking out of his ass. But he's confident, nonchalantly so- like this was a game to him and he was obviously winning.

"What about me?"

"Thought you'd never ask." Your anticipation is palpable as he swallows his final bite, taking the time to wipe his face of crumbs before smiling softly at you.

"You are... a poem of a person. Charming, capable, when you walk into a room people notice- even if you convince yourself that they don't." His gaze is steady, patient, and he's looking at you as if you're the only person in the universe. "You have big dreams, far beyond all... this... and you're gonna make it."

[10:04:59]

The sound of the door chime breaks you out of whatever hypnotic state you had found yourself in. Sucking in a breath and blinking away the very beginnings of tears in your eyes you tell the new customer to sit wherever they like.

Mobius took this chance to check his handheld, sighing at the time and the ever-growing slope of the branch variation.

The reset charge would be set soon, with or without him there.

"Look at that. Duty calls." He stands up and pulls a billfold from his jacket pocket, not even counting as he puts the cash down on the counter.

Mobius turns to leave, but hesitates. He turns back around to face you and places his hands on his hips. Allowing himself to play into the fleeting illusion just a tad longer.

"One more thing I know about you-" Mobius rubbed his chin in careful consideration. "You have a date tonight."

"Ah-" You wag your finger at him and shake your head side to side, "got one wrong."

"Did I? Ah- well... How about we change that?"

You pause. The plates you had been holding found their way back to the counter as you set them down slowly. Once again in a very short time span, he had left you speechless.

"That... was possibly the lamest pickup line I've ever heard." Though you mean it to be snarky, it sounds more like praise coming from your smiling lips. "I get off at 6:30."

"Alright." He looks perfectly pleased with himself as he lightly knocks on the counter with his fist. "It's a date."

Walking out the door, Mobius gave one last look at the diner before reporting to the event site.

He knew would see you again, always at 9:45.

#agent mobius #mobius #mobius m. mobius #agent mobius x reader #mobius x reader #loki series #loki #marvel #marvel x reader #sorry for the interruption from my usual content #but I love time traveling men

[nochuvalencia]

𝐁 𝐁 𝐇 𝐌 𝐌 - jjk

I was basically inspired by these ^^^ pics of jk bc wow hot hi

⚠️ ALSO QUICK DISCLAIMER :: this is my first fanfic on here so it might be terrible but enjoy anyway. ⚠️

𝘱𝘢𝘪𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨 :: reader x crimeboss!jk

𝘴𝘶𝘮𝘮𝘢𝘳𝘺 :: bitch you better have his money.

𝘨𝘦𝘯𝘳𝘦 :: ABSOLUTE SMUTTY FILTH heh angst too ig

𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘥 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘵 :: 11.9k

𝘸𝘢𝘳𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴 :: long haired tatted jk, that’s it, that’s the warning, uh kinda sketchy plot hsjsjsj, WOW ANGST ASF at the beginning tho, dub!con towards the middle don’t hurt me, fuck or die ig, gunplay????? yeah????? jks BLATANT OVERUSE of pet names, dacryphillia, major-ish character death, describing the injuries on a dead body, jk has a sir kink ig??? um excessive over exaggerated choking bc jks hands yum, explicit seggs, rough jk, he’s kinda mean, dom!jk, sub!reader, oral m&f receiving (facefucking on both ends), coochie sniff if you squint, coochie slaps if u squint too, spanking, OVERSTIMULATION, unprotected seggs, degradation, he calls her a bitch once idk, other bad names, praise too ig, jk gives an ultimatum, SLIGHT aftercare, he kinda like switches from flirty to murderous like a bunch of times it’s kinda weird, jk has an impossibly huge shlong obv, contemplating death, super mature themes, reader is a BIG fucking crybaby, overuse of the word fuck, corruption kink at the end if u squint super hard, also DUB!CON in case you didn’t see it, at this point I should just write what it doesn’t have

“If you’re not out of my house in 3.4 seconds, I'm dragging you out by the testicles” you uttered, your alarmingly calm voice laced with raw brutality as hot tears cascaded down your burning cheeks, your arm outstretched and pointed toward the blinding light of the hallway that contrasted with your dark bedroom. You said nothing more, with your eyes trained angrily at one of the four blank tan walls nearby, not possibly being able to bear speaking to or sparing a glance into the eyes of a cheating whore. The woman you had just caught him with scurried past you wearily, a terrified and confused glint in her eyes as she passed your frigid frame sans underwear, with her sparkly silver pumps dangling from her fingers and a wrinkly silver dress hanging limply from the clutches of her other hand. The man in question shuffled cautiously around the bed, clutching the exposed parts of his body and approaching you with extreme hesitation and outstretched hands, as if trying to calm the already blazing flames of your fury. He laid a cold, rough hand on your shoulder squeezing softly, a motion that once brought you comfort but only added the all consuming hatred that bubbled up inside you akin to ravenous bile filling up the pit of your belly. “Did you not hear what I said? Get out.” You spat, glossy eyes still pointed toward anything but him.

“____ please” he croaked, like the slimy frog he truly was, his voice dripping in false agony which only neared you closer to the brink of undoubtedly committing an act of extreme violence against that man. “Please baby it wasn’t-'' you blanked. He was about to make an excuse. A stupid, rediculous, horrible, completely false excuse which you had absolutely no patience to hear. So you snapped, harshly shrugging your shoulder and sending his arm flying back to his side. He stepped back, ceasing his incessant chatter as he stared at you, a surprised expression painting his “pained” features. He wasn’t accustomed to you acting like this, you were never one to raise your voice or act out in any sort of way so he stood there, eyes widened in dumbfounded silence and you took this chance, bending down, scooping up as much of his discarded clothing as you possibly could and throwing it in his face, your rage bubbling over into something much more carnal as you inhaled deeply through your nose.

“Shut the fuck up and leave!” He scrambled to catch as many clothes as he could and was taken aback by your abrupt outburst. He stood silent once again though this time, he was making the face he often made when forcing himself to cry. It was the face he made around his mother to get out of family responsibilities. The face he made around his friends when guilt tripping them into buying him drinks, and now he's using it for you. To guilt you into taking pity on his pathetic actions which merely was the catalyst for your unforgiving violence. In an instant you were behind him, heaving him out of the door with your bare hands, pushing with all your might, using the immense pain coursing through your limbs as motivation to drive his beefy frame further and further out of the bedroom, down the hallway, into the living room and closer to the door yelling “I said leave! Leave! Now!” Pushing harder and harder with every word you choked out. The tears began to flow faster, clouding and distorting your vision as your face contorted into an expression of pure anguish until finally, he was forced out of the open doorway and into the main hallway of your apartment building. You promptly slammed the door in his face and the only thought traveling though your mind was ‘thank god she left that door open’ because you wouldn’t have been able to force him through it otherwise.

You stood silently for a few seconds, back to the door, face still slick with tears as the cool wood on your back shook senselessly with every beat of his fist and muffled shout of his voice crying phrases like “____ open the fuking door!” , “this is my apartment too baby come on” and other variations of the sort. Your mind was empty while you remained there, letting the harsh reality sink in like the slowest molasses. You allowed that man, that pig, to take 10 years of your life. 10 years of your prime. 10 years that you'll never get back no matter how much you beg and plead for it. Come to think of it, you had shaped your entire life around him. His influence was there no matter how much you wished it wasn’t. His residue staining your life like the blackest ink of which you would never be able to rid yourself. At the surfacing of these thoughts, you’d finally broke down and cried, like ugly cried. Broken heaves and sobs escaped your throat until you felt like you were suffocating as you slid down the door, not caring if he heard your wails and whines of torment on the other side of the polished mahogany. You actually hoped he did hear, you wanted him to hear the anguish and grief he put you through. You wanted him to hear you cry out all of your attachment and love for him until there was none left, so he knows the tears flowing from your body hold all of the affection you harbor for him. All ten years of attraction flowing out in a gigantic tsunami of grief that can only end in a new start.

Your mind played through all the memories, and the small amount of good times you had with each other while you sobbed mercilessly, also coming to the realization that he never did anything for you. Ever since you were 14 you’d been changing everything about yourself for him, while he merely lived his life, dragging you along like a supportive little puppy and rewarding you with cheap token gifts and mediocre sex once in a blue moon.

He wanted to attend university in your hometown so you abandoned your dream school, which accepted you, to attend a closer college. He made the decision to study abroad, so you had to drop everything and move to Australia for him. He wanted to wait to have kids so you froze your fucking eggs for him. He got a great new job at a large company in Asia, so you dropped everything again and moved to South Korea. You learned Korean for him. You have the same friends as him. You even cut a few family members off because he was “uncomfy” around them. He wouldn’t even go down on you because it also made him ‘uncomfy’, which should’ve been a red flag from the start. You did all of this bullshit in the haze of love. The promise that he’d reciprocate all of it in affection and adoration, which he didn’t, and now you’re sitting in your living room bawling your brains out because you were too lovestruck to see the signs.

After sobbing hysterically for what seemed like hours, you’d sat limply in front of your door, slouching back onto it as if it were a plush armchair and staring blankly into space, your mind completely empty. Feeling overwhelmed and exhausted beyond belief, you leaned forward, groaning in anguish as your tired muscles cried out in distress after being immobile for more than four hours. Crawling over to the couch, you tiredly flung your nearly paralyzed body onto the soft cushions with a sigh, not even bothering to pull the fluffy throw blanket over your body as your entire frame began to steadily shut down. Before your eyes completely shut, you caught a glimpse of the clock perched on the wooden tv stand which read 11:11 and scoffing quietly as you thought to yourself, ‘I thought that was supposed to mean good luck’ and you gave in to the delicious expanse of slumber.

You were startled awake by the incessant pounding of your now ex-boyfriends fist on the door, again. For the past 4 days since you’d forced him out, he’d show up outside your door at the ass crack of dawn just banging on the door profusely, as if that would persuade you to open it an inch. He had a schedule, he’d come at 5am, before he went off to work, then at 12:30 on his lunch break, then again at 9:45 just to make you miserable before you went to bed. You’re actually surprised the neighbors haven’t complained to the landlords yet. You tossed the blanket off of your sticky body, kicking and thrashing wildly due to the annoyance caused by that nuisance.

You cried more times than you can count during these last 4 days, especially during the times he would attempt to win you over with sappy shit like “baby, you’re my everything, you’re all i’ve ever wanted”, the lyrics to one of your favorite songs or, “you’re my forever ____, you can’t just throw 10 years away babe” to which you cried about for 3 hours after he’d said it, after realizing that he actually wasted 10 fucking years of your life. Anger bubbled up in the pit of your stomach as you listened to the repetitive banging of his fist and at this point you had enough and came to the decision it was finally time to pack his shit. Stomping into the living room, you grabbed a necessary box of bags that sat on the coffee table in the center of the room, figuring you were ready to use it. With a final nod of your head, you marched into your shared bedroom and opened all of the cabinets and drawers that contained the plethora of his belongings and flinging them on the floor, grabbing the box of xl trash bags you’d snagged on your march in here and started tossing things in left and right, not caring about the brand name or the state of the fabric or anything for that matter. All you saw was red as your eyes welled up with tears for the first and probably not last time that day.

“I can’t do this” you sobbed out, voice hoarse as you fell to your knees, ignoring the rugburn that was soon to form on those areas as your shoulders shook with every harsh breath you took. You had been dreading this task. Dreading it only for its significance that once you packed all his things and tossed them out, your relationship would be truly over. You definitely didn’t want him back but this would be the first time you’ve been alone in 10+ years and you were not certain you were prepared for that let alone wanting it. Inhaling shakily, you sniffed, ridding your face of any moisture as you cleared your throat and walked back into the kitchen, grabbing the bottle of chardonnay from your anniversary that fell on the week prior and venturing back into the closet to resume your task. You weren’t much of a drinker but for this task, you’d need a bottle or two.

A few hours later, he’d finally went off to work and you sat in the doorway of the closet, drunkenly dressed in the wedding gown you were made to be wed in this summer still combing through all of his clothing and tossing them messily into a bag that laid open on the floor beside you. You took a swig from the bottle, hissing softly at the satisfying burn that seared it’s way down your throat and rubbing at your puffy eyes with the knuckle of your index finger. The closet was mostly bare, except for a rack with some of his clothes and one rack of semi-expensive clothing his cheap ass reluctantly purchased for you and you glanced around, catching a glimpse of some ugly floral fabric in the corner of the small space. Getting on your hands and knees you reached a limp hand out, taking hold of the horrendous fabric and dragging it out with a groan, eyes wide at the surprising heft of the object in your hand.

It was a pillowcase. A pillowcase full of something brick shaped. You raised an eyebrow quizzically before reaching into the bag and pulling out a fat stack of cash. Taking a sharp intake of breath you paused, staring blankly at the wrapped wad in your hand and cocking your head to the side. You peeked over into the bag after a few minutes, eyes popping out of your skull as they feasted on more huge stacks of money. It was Korean currency but there had to be at least 250k USD worth in the entire sack. You furrowed your brows, tossing the money back into the pillowcase forcefully as a tornado of thoughts whirled in your mind. Had he been saving behind your back? Was he planning on getting rich then eventually hanging you out to dry for some younger girl? How long has he had all of this? Where the fuck did it all come from?

You looked back at the money then back at the corner you found it in, squinting as you spotted some more ugly purple fabric. Crawling behind the clothing earnestly, you managed to fish out 4 more pillowcases full of money. You stifled a laugh, having never been in the presence of so much currency, you guessed it had to be more than 1 million dollars. You smiled for the first time in 4 days, lips curling up into a wide joy filled expression as you dumped all of the money onto the rugged floor of the closet. With all of the alcohol coursing through your veins, (almost a whole bottle) you didn’t hesitate to grab the biggest tote bag you own and stuff as much money as it could hold inside. You figured it was the least he could do after cheating on you.

He deserved to pay, and you obviously deserved a raise.

It was a full on shopping spree. After throwing all of his shit into bags, you tossed them outside your door and left with as much money as you could carry before he could come back on his lunch break. You even came back to get some more money, just to go out and spend it again. To say you splurged would be an understatement, you spent almost half of the money on clothes, shoes, a hair and makeup appointment, a manicure, a new car, and you even paid rent for six months after taking his name off the lease.

So here you were, struggling up the stairs as quick as you could, due to the fact that it was 9:30 and you were trying to avoid seeing him at his 9:45 visit. Your feet screamed in agony in your new jimmy choo pumps, because you’d been on them all day, and you had at least six shopping bags hanging from each arm, all full with an assortment of gaudy items such as shoe boxes, makeup products, and clothing. You had finally reached the door after a while, smiling at the absence of his bags which meant he took them and swiftly unlocked the door, clamoring in and tiredly dropping the bags in your hands. With a sigh, you locked the door, running a hand through your freshly styled hair as you rid your face of the designer sunglasses that shielded it. Kicking off your shoes, you hummed gratifyingly at the pleasurable feeling of bare feet and shuffled over to your couch, plopping down on the end cushion groggily.

A soft buzz in your back pocket caught your attention as you carefully fished out the new phone you purchased and unlocked it with your perfectly manicured fingers, raising an eyebrow quizzically as the texts rolled in, ‘i thought i blocked him’ you thought, preparing to do it a second time before a few texts caught your attention and you froze on the spot, chuckling heartlessly at his words.

[phone] : whose car is in our parking spot?

[phone] : did you already move on?

[phone] : wow whore

You rolled your eyes, wondering where he attained the gaul to accuse you of a feat such as that. Calling you a whore as if that name isn’t suitable for himself. Even more so than you. You decided to text him back, feeding off of an unknown source of confidence as your fingers furiously tapped along the screen.

me : it’s my car asshole

me : bought it with the money u left me

me :thx baby <3

[phone] : what money?

me : the money in the closet you didn’t bother telling me abt u dumb fuck

[phone] : don’t use that money

me : why should i listen to you?

me : you aren’t my bf

[phone] : no seriously ____ don’t use that money wtf is wrong with u

me : already did bye babe

You blocked him as quickly as you could, face burning with absolute anger as you tossed your phone on the cushion beside you. Who is he to tell you what you could or couldn’t do? You had come to the decision then and there that you wouldn't let him treat you like a child. He wasn’t your dad. Thanks to him you barely speak to your dad. The only thought going through your mind at the time was ‘fuck him.’ Before you could delve into your thoughts any further, it started. His incessant pounding on the door. Again. Although, this time it was much more frantic, desperate. He was much louder with his pathetic pleas and whines, crying out “please don’t use that money!”, “Listen to me god damn it!”, “___ open the fucking door now!” But you stood your ground, ignoring him once again as you did for the past few days.

Just to escape the racket of his wails of desperation, you retreated to your room, slipping on one of his expensive balenciaga sweatshirts you kept for yourself and climbing into the cool blankets, burying yourself under the plush fabric and folding your pillow over your ears. You knew this would be the longest night of your life..

And you were correct, It was the longest night of your life. He never truly got the memo that you would not be coming out to communicate with him so he finally left at around 1:30 in the morning. You had slept horribly, tossing and turning as the aftermath of his cries and pleads left a print on your mind and tormented you at all hours of the night, you didn’t manage to get any real sleep until around eight and woke up a mere five hours later in a state of confusion. It was well past noon and yet it was silent, you had woken up of your own volition, not because of some crazy man outside of your apartment screaming like a banshee. In due time, you had come to the conclusion that he had finally given up and gone about his day without banging on his ex-girlfriend's apartment door like an idiot at all hours of the day.

This theory was almost set in your mind until you heard a knock. Groaning violently, you stared up at your ceiling, eyebrows furrowed as you erased that theory from the whiteboard in your cortex. Fully prepared to ignore the person at the door, you rolled over to your side until another knock was heard. This wasn’t him. This couldn’t be him. The knocks were way too soft, they lacked an element of urgency, desperation. They were simply just way too calm. So, you sat up, swinging your legs over and reluctantly standing up, before making your way into the living room to be greeted with another knock and a smooth male voice calling out. “Miss ___ ___?”

You glanced wearily though your peep hole to be met with a tall male, dressed in a blue and white uniform. “Looks like a cop. He called the fucking cops on me, shit.” you whispered to yourself, voice small as you held onto the door handle. Figuring it’d be worse to make him wait, you opened the door, being met with the warm, dimpled smile, of the decorated individual. “Yes, i”m ____” you respond, shoving your hands into the pockets of your sweatshirt and looking everywhere but him, which probably seems more suspicious than anything but you were too riddled with anxiety to care. The officer clutched a navy blue manilla folder in his hand and opened it promptly in order to sift through its contents.

“Hi, i’m officer Kim.” he breathed out, calmly bowing and resuming his apparent spiel, “do you know this man?” he pondered, raising an eyebrow quizzically as he pulled a photo from his folder with calloused fingers and lifted it, spinning it around to face you. Your eyes widened slightly upon being shown a picture of your ex and you nodded hesitantly.

“He’s my ex boyfriend- well ex fiance I guess.” you responded, voice barely audible as your mind raced faster than the speed of sound. You asked yourself what he could’ve done that was bad enough for the police to show up at your door. Maybe you had been too harsh on him and he had gotten into one to many bar fights, maybe he robbed a bank at gunpoint, maybe he stole some old lady’s car and filled it with off brand mayonnaise before he returned it. All your questions- all your thoughts stopped as Officer Kim responded, running a tired hand through his hair.

“He passed, earlier today.” he paused, giving you time to digest things and you froze, staring at his face blankly as your mind processed what you had just been told and you hummed questioningly, your throat becoming tight with realization. “It happened around five this morning,” he paused again as you stood in complete silence. Sure you hated him but you’d never wish death upon another person, especially him. You hate him now but you were in love with him once too. You hate him now but, he was the closest person in your life. He was all of your firsts, your fiance, your best friend. You thought you wouldn’t be able to get all of that back because of the breakup but now you truly can never get any of it back, because he’s dead. Then, you started to cry, for the hundredth time this week but this one was different. You weren’t crying because you missed him, or wanted him to come back like all the other times, as horrible as it sounds. You were crying because you felt bad. Because of his short life that was ripped from him by the unforgiving hand of death. You weren’t crying because of him, you were crying for him. A hand on your shoulder interrupted your sobs and you wiped your face, glancing up at the culprit with glassy eyes. “I’m so sorry for your loss...” he paused, giving you a few moments to breathe as he rubbed your shoulder comfortingly before speaking again, “but we have an idea of who did it, it would be helpful if you just came down to the station with me for some questioning.” he asked softly as the shaking sobs and whimpers that came from your body slowed to a halt and you nodded.

“Yeah, uh. Let me just go get dressed.” You muttered, smiling up at him softly and shuffling back to your room to prepare. The longest night of your life was about to turn into the longest day.

And you were correct again as you stood in front of your apartment door after the absolute, and I cannot stress this enough, longest day of your life. Your ex was murdered, brutally, and they made sure to go over all of the gory details with you while you were at the precinct, they even took you to see his body, which made you cry because it was mangled almost beyond recognition and you were horrified. Apparently, he had been tortured for hours, which explained all the bruises, gashes, and burn marks on his body, strangled, thus the huge ring shaped mark around his neck, and dumped into a river, which made his body all pruny and wrinkled. You had spent 10 long hours at the police precinct and it was now nearing midnight as you fished your keys from your pocket in order to unlock the door. Inserting your key, you jiggle it around in the lock for a minute before realizing it was already unlocked initially. Figuring you had left it unlocked accidentally in your depressed haze, you pushed your way into your apartment and locked it promptly, pressing your forehead into the cool wood of the door. You sighed softly, relaxing only for a minute as you absorbed your surroundings before freezing as you heard the rhythmic tapping of someone's foot.

“Long day huh?” the voice was deep, one you hadn’t heard before as you remained facing the door, your grip of the handle tightening until your knuckles turned white. He spoke again, “you must be ____.” he murmured softly, sending a terrified shudder down your spine. “I’ve been wanting to meet you but he said you were off limits. You know, he talks about you a lot-...” he stopped himself as if realizing something, “well talked, I mean.” the man mused, an ominous chuckle flowing from his mouth.

“Who are you?” you rasped, attempting to conceal any cowardice but blinking your eyes harshly as your voice broke. You vaguely hoped this was one of your ex’s friends coming to visit, at an odd hour of the night, sitting ominously in the dark of your apartment waiting for you to come home just to say hi but the chances of that actuality was very slim.

“None of your business” the man retorted, a smirk evident in his ominous tone. “Now, let’s get down to business little dove,” you furrowed your brows at the nickname. You had never been called a nickname, especially by a man who randomly just snuck into your apartment one night. Your ex only ever called you baby or babe so little dove was different for you. It seemed endearing in the worst type of way. “I want the rest of my money.” he paused, “I found half of it in a closet here, and he said you might know where the rest is.” he paused again, only this time a sound is heard, a metal rattling of some sort that ricochets off of the walls of the apartment like a stray jumping bean in a pill case. Then it hits you, he has a gun, and he just shook it as if he intends to use it. . “Don’t make me ask again sweetheart.” Your eyes widen and well up as your head falls down, knowing you're going to die today and you take a deep breath, telling yourself you’d be ready for whatever happens so you decide, if you’re gonna die, you should at least know the name of the man that’s gonna kill you so you scrape together every last drop of confidence you can muster and ask once more.

“I said, w-who are yo-” you choked out, in an attempt to hold onto the last shred of your dignity as you blinked back the tears threatening to fall from your glassy eyes. However, your small shred of confidence is promptly ripped from your grasp as the man cuts you off mid sentence, slamming his gun down onto a hard surface with a loud clatter. You jolt, crying out softly as the tears you’d been holding back with all your might fall onto the ground before you.

“I said none of your fucking business bitch where’s my fucking money.” he spat, his sinister tone draing a choked sob from your thoat as you realized, you wouldn’t be getting anything you wanted today. “Answer me” he said, alarmingly calm as the sound of him cocking his gun travels directly to your mind.

“I spent it” you muttered between your soft hiccups and stiffened slightly upon hearing a heavy footstep approach you, then another footstep, and another, and another until they cease, and you can feel the man's warm breath raising the hair on the back of your neck. All your readiness for whatever happens and willingness to die flies out of the window as you lean your head on the door once more, taking a shaky breath as you begin to plead, aware of how pathetic you sound and part of the reason why you have such a strong urge to cry harder. “Please don’t kill me” you whined desperately as you feel the cold metal of the gun barrel resting on your shoulder.

“Relax little dove” he whispered, his lips brushing the back of your ear and sending a chill rushing through the entire expanse of your body. “Just find a way to pay me back and we’re even,” he continued calmly, his raspy voice reverberating in your eardrums as you think through what he just said carefully. You gasp and sniffle, shaking your head softly and lifting it slowly from the wooden door frame.

“I-” you stopped, taking a deep breath and preparing yourself as much as you could for his response then opened your mouth to continue. “I don’t have that kind of money” you whispered hesitantly, shutting your eyes tightly, allowing nothing to escape but the numerous tears that fell to the ground in anticipation of his actions. There was an eerie silence as he contemplated your words before he abruptly turned away, lifting the gun from your shoulder and holstering it in the waistband of his jeans, causing you to let out a wavering breath you’d been holding that entire time. His hand traveled back up, taking refuge on your left shoulder as the other hand made its way up your right arm, the warmth setting your skin aflame and sending a shockwave of warmth coursing through your body.

“There is another way you could pay me back.” his velvet voice rasped, stressing the word ‘another’ in a way that you immediately understood his insinuation and you took a sharp intake of air, bracing yourself for what he was about to say next. But he didn’t say anything for a moment, letting his hands do the talking for him as he gripped your arms softly, using his hands to spin you around and face him. You whirled around, yelping in surprise but stopping when you were met with the most exquisite, carnivorous brown eyes you had ever seen in your life that were accompanied by full pink lips and a tousled bunch of fluffy black hair you just wanted to run your hands through. Even in the darkness of night, the moonlight streaming through the kitchen window illuminated the room enough for you to trail your eyes down his face and get a vivid idea of what he’d look like with illumination.

Yummy as fuck.

Your eyes began to wander down to his exposed collarbone and before they could travel any lower, his fingers roughly grabbed your chin, forcing your gaze upward until you met his borderline cannibalistic gaze, which crushed you into nothing. He cocked his head to the side, a mischievous glint in his eyes as the corner of his lips turn upward slightly. “He was always bragging about you… saying,” he speaks, his sultry tone lulling you into a state of compliance as he spoke, “you’re such a good fuck,” he continues, placing his left hand gently on your waist and stepping even closer, if that’s possible, his soft breath hitting your face with every word as he speaks. “Your sweet little cunt is so tight” he glances down at your lips, running his thumb over your bottom lip “your mouth feels like heaven” he pauses again, running his hand down to hold the side of your neck softly to which you gasp “maybe i’d like a demonstration little dove.” he smiles, a twisted horrifying smile that snaps you out of his seductive trance and back to reality as your eyes widen and you pull yourself quickly out of his hold, running over to the couch and bracing yourself on it.

“No” you cry out, out of breath for some reason as you swallow thickly and shake your head. “No, I'll find a way to pay you back, I promise.” you plead, praying he wasn’t going to kill you on the spot and that he hadn’t noticed your blatant ogling. He probably did but at this point you didn’t care, you just wanted him gone.

“Whatever you say sweetheart” he replied, emitting a dark chuckle “call me if you change your mind, my number’s in your phone” he opened the front door and you glanced back at him, noticing the way his all black attire contrasts with his tan skin, and most of all, you notice the full sleeve of tattoos that ran down his right arm. Heat crawled up to your face as you realized you were gawking again and you nodded in response, feeling unable to form the words to respond with. He only uttered the words “you have a week.” before the door slammed and you were left alone in the dark.

You ran your fingers along the side of your neck where the aftermath of his touch lingered like a searing residue. No one had ever touched you like that, especially your ex. He was the man that took your virginity and was the man there for every time after so you’d become accustomed to his textbook missionary vanilla sex that left you touch starved and unfinished every. single. time. But you’d finish yourself off each time, feeling bad because you thought he was trying his hardest and truly didn’t understand how to please women. But as time went on, you realized he didn’t care about your pleasure and too enveloped in his own release to ever worry about your needs, but were too deep in love with him to care.

Your thoughts were interrupted when your phone went off to signal a text and upon picking it up there were two text messages from an unknown number that sent a shiver down your spine which read.

[phone] : don’t try to run

[phone] : we’ll hunt you down little dove

“Can’t you just take the shit back?” You questioned frantically, clutching the phone by your head until your knuckles turned white, rolling your eyes tiredly when you got no response. “They hung up, great” you deadpanned, plopping onto the couch you had been pacing in front of. It has been 6 days since the man showed up and you were running out of time and hadn’t slept in two days, your mind running frantically with the thought of him coming back to see you nearly empty handed. Well, not exactly empty handed. You had managed to get 253k of the whopping +400k dollars you had spent of his money and after not being able to return the car, manicure, hair appointment, rent, and a bunch of clothes and shoes, you were manic. Some might even say a bit crazy. Many of the stores and the dealership knew you by name because of the amount of times you called them. You dropped your phone into your lap, burying your face in your hands and wishing someone was here to console you through this but the only person you knew even remotely enough to offer any consolation was your ex. You wish he was alive so you could punch that bitch in the face and ask him what kind of shit he got himself into because the man that paid you a visit was most definitely not from corporate.

You sat for a silent minute deliberating if you should text the mystery man and take him up on his offer. You had asked yourself, is it really worth your life? Were you really going to die because you didn’t want to sleep with the hot guy you stole money from? The answer at first was yes because you still had your pride intact then but now, you had been starting to second guess your confidence in getting all the money back. After all, the deadline is tomorrow. You still had your hesitations, the only man who has ever seen you in such a lewd nature was your ex. You didn’t know if you were ready for sex with another person, even if he was the hottest man you’d ever seen. But, against your better nature, you convinced yourself that your ex was gone and this was bound to happen sooner or later, so why not sooner?

You grabbed your phone in earnest before anything inside you could convince you to stop and unlocked it, opening the messages for his number and typing out your text, hitting send before any sort of regret had the chance to sink in.

me : i’ll take your offer

me : this is ____ btw

You placed your phone down on the couch cushions beside you and chewed nervously on the not so fresh manicure that was still on your nails. To your surprise, his reply came in quickly and you frantically reached for your phone as the dings came rolling in.

[phone] : i know who you are

[phone] : i'll be there in 20

[phone] : be ready sweetheart

Your heart thumped restlessly as you shot up from your seat shouting “twenty minutes?!” and you cried out nervously. You hadn’t even seen his face in good lighting and you didn't know his name so you’d basically be fucking a complete stranger which scared you enough as it is but the fact that that stranger held you at gunpoint merely a week prior is what scared you shitless.

In the limited time that he gave you, you decided to freshen up a bit so you hopped in the shower. Your first shower in a few days after your psychotic state worsened. Humming in bliss, you relished in the feeling of the scalding water flowing over your skin as you took your time washing , shaving, and singing, in an attempt to rid yourself of the horrendous nerves that overtook your senses. After reluctantly stepping out of the steamy oasis, you’d decided on a white lingerie set you had gotten yourself for christmas but never got to wear for anyone because your significant other was always “working” or too tired/busy to take the time of day for you. Pairing the set with a matching white silk robe and not bothering to wear any shoes because you’re in your own house, you slicked your lips in a thick coat of gloss and applied some mascara and eyeliner to your tired eyes just to spruce up a bit. You figured, if you put effort into your appearance, then maybe he’d spare your life after the sex. You stared at yourself in the mirror, tying your robe, smacking your glossed lips together and ogling your appearance before a soft knocking was heard from the living room. “He’s here” you told yourself with a deep shaky breath as you vacated the bathroom and slowly ventured toward the door.

You stood silently before the front door, contemplating whether this was a mistake or if it was too late to turn back. As much as you hated to admit, there was no logical solution to your problem that was in compliance with any standing laws. Heck, what you were doing was probably illegal in everywhere but Las Vegas so you had no other choice than to twist the handle, open the door and stare up at the most alluring man you had ever laid eyes on. You ran your eyes all over his body, studying him, his features, his gorgeous eyes, impeccable nose, plush lips, smooth hair, and strong arms that lead to a presumed strong chest hidden under his plain white tee. He noticed you blatantly checking him out to which he placed a finger on your chin, lifting your face up so your eyes met and making you watch as he rolled his bottom lip into his mouth, sucking on it for a moment. Oh how you wished that was your lip.

“You ready little dove?” he asked, his tone seductive and smooth like chocolate as he walked closer to you, closing the door behind him and backing you up until you stood patiently before the couch staring up at him, a wistful glint in your eyes as you nodded. He reached up, using a finger to push your robe off of your right shoulder and cocking his head quizzically. “All dressed up just for me?” he pondered, his eyes trained on the white lace peeking out from under the robe. You nodded, to which he gripped your chin roughly, furrowing his eyebrows at your response. “Use your words sweetheart” he warned, loosening his grip so you could speak in affirmation.

“Yes…” your voice trailed off, thinking of what to call him, as you still didn’t know his name, so you addressed him as you would any man you didn’t know, “yes, sir. I dressed up just for you” you concluded, your voice barely greater than a whisper as the corners of his lips turned up. He let out an animalistic growl at the name you gave for him, obviously satisfied and moved his hand from your chin to grip the back of your neck promptly.

“It’s Jungkook, but sir will do nicely” he basically growled before latching onto your lips with carnal aggressiveness. You whined heartily into his mouth as his tongue slipped deftly into yours and intertwined with yours, causing your mind to fall into a haze as he coiled his arm around your waist, bringing your body flush against his toned frame. You reached up with shaky hands, fumbling with his shirt, eager to get it off of him and gaze upon the expanse of his abdomen. His lips detached for a moment, giving you the chance to pull his shirt over his head, which he gladly obliged and lifted his hands over his head, swiftly resuming their positions when his shirt formed a pile on the floor beside you. You leaned back in, attempting to capture his lips in another phenomenal kiss but he pulled back, leaving you to chase him and whine when you ultimately lose, to which he laughs mischievously, taking his hands off of your body and toying with the silk tie on the front of your robe.

“How do you want it baby?” he pondered, the new nickname sending shivers down your spine as you glanced at him quizzically, as if asking what he meant. He chuckled softly, tugging at the ribbon and opening your robe as he brought his hands up, carefully sliding it down your arms and bending down so his face was level with your collarbone. He placed a gentle kiss there, leaving fire in the wake of his lips as he spoke, his breath cooling the seared flesh, “would you like me to be gentle?” he asked leaving more hot kisses along the expanse of your shoulder and neck, drawing salacious sounds from your parted lips as he brought his hand up to rest at the base of your neck. “Or…” he paused, sliding his hand up and increasing the intensity of his grip on your throat, restricting the blood flow to your brain as your mind became hazy and your eyes rolled into the back of your head. “Do you want me to be rough?” he continued, lifting his head to watch your face as he loosened his grip. “It’s your choice little dove.”

You were elated, ecstatic and a little disappointed when he loosened his grip on your neck. Your ex was always into sex that lindered toward the vanilla side, as mentioned before, so he would never think to try anything like choking, which always intrigued you just a little bit. You wished you would have experienced other styles of love before you met him but you didn't, and this was your chance to try them out now. Your fingers travelled up, lightly grazing over that hand that was tightly wrapped around your neck. Whining quietly you rolled your bottom lip between your teeth, biting it softly as your other hand came up and wrapped around Jungkook’s forearm.

“I wanna try it rough” you mumbled, eyes closing as you relished in the hazy feeling this restriction gave you which only heightened as he tightened his grip.

“Perfect.” he groaned out almost inaudibly as he pulled your face to his, colliding your lips in the roughest, most passion filled kiss you’d ever experienced. He devoured your mouth with gluttonous amusement, his grip on your airway never wavering for a moment as he tongued you down, his carnal need prevalent and present in the thick air of the room. You reached up, completing a task you’d been wanting to do for days, tangling your hand in the messy black mass that fell upon his head, and relishing in the soft feeling of his waves. Then he detached from your lips and moved away, forcing your hands to fall from his hair and onto his broad shoulders, which, while pleasurable to touch, didn’t even come close to frolicking your fingers through his locks. He moved his hand from your neck to your shoulder, to which you whined with a small pout, missing the new contact as he chuckled at your eagerness. He stared at your lips, before leaning down and capturing your bottom lip between his teeth, biting down on it voraciously before he spoke. “Do you want me to put this slutty little mouth of yours to use little dove?” he asked, pulling back as if waiting for an answer, to which you obliged.

“Yes sir” You answered quite honestly in fact, as you felt all your hesitation and weariness about this task slip away. “Please put my mouth to use.” you pleaded, staring up at him, a wanton expression on your soft features.

“You’re so good for me .” he whispered, his soft breath fanning your face as you nodded in agreement, “such an obedient little dove, hmm?” he asked, to which you nodded once again, a bit more frantically this time as you awaited his cue. He used the hand on your shoulder to abruptly push you down with a small yelp so you were seated on the black leather couch behind you, the colder leather contrasting the burning lust in your entire body as you looked up at him. “Get to work slut.” Your eyes widened at the name. Maybe it was supposed to be an insult or he just liked calling you that but you couldn’t help the gargantuan wave of slick that coated your panties at the moment.

You looked down, a bit above eye level with his crotch as you reached up to palm him through his faded blue jeans. His scent was tantalizing, musky, and you couldn't get enough as you stared up at him through your eyelashes, your lips slightly parted as you gazed in awe. He gave you a warning glance, as if scolding you for teasing him for this long and you unzipped his pants. He held out his hand, as if to stop you before reaching behind his pants and pulling his gun from the back of his jeans. Your eyes widened, gaze now trained on the firearm in his hand, a horrified expression on your face as you ceased all actions. Which he noticed, peering down at you, a horrifying smile etched on his godlike features as he opened his mouth to speak.

“Relax darling, I won’t kill you,” he purred, reaching down and weaving the fingers of his free hand into the roots of your hair, grabbing and pulling back roughly so you have no other choice but to meet his dark eyes. “We’re only just getting started.” he lowered the gun, pressing the muzzle into the underside of your jaw, the cold metal like ice against your scalding skin. However, you felt no need to cry, felt no need to fear for your life even as this gun was pressed to your neck, aimed to kill, because you knew he wouldn’t do it. Through the dark facade and ominous gaze in his eyes there was something else that made you trust his inability to kill you. You realized you were enjoying the thrill, the excitement of putting your life in his hands. So, you did what any crazy bitch would do in this situation, you breathed out deeply, relaxing your shoulders and slouching yourself down to push your neck further onto the tip of the gun with a mischievous smile. Jungkook stared down at you in awe, running his tongue on the inside of his cheek and taking his gun off of your neck before tossing it over to the end of the couch behind you.

Resuming your actions with a shaky breath, you tugged his pants down until they fell to his ankles and placed your hands on the sides of his underwear clad hips. You might’ve been inexperienced in his style of fucking but you sure knew how to give a good blowjob, so you got to work, placing open mouthed kisses to his clothed appendage. You looked up at him once more seeing the lust clouded haze that filled his deep brown eyes. After a bit of teasing, you hooked your fingers in the waistband of his underwear, pulling it down in a seductively slow manner as you allowed his needy cock to spring free, and you stared up at it with a gasp.

It was huge.

You didn’t really know what qualifies as huge because the only dick you’ve ever had was around 6 inches on a good day but this alluring appendage swinging before your face had to be at least 9 inches long and you wondered how the fuck you were going to fit it all in your mouth let alone your pussy, which was already aching for it. Your mouth involuntarily opened wider in anticipation of his delicious dick inside and you grabbed the base, with two hands, drawing a hiss from the man that stood over you as he kicked off his shoes and the rest of the clothing that pooled around his feet. You licked teasingly up the sides of his dick, stopping at the tip to swirl your tongue around it, and catching some salty precum when you did. You glanced up at him and he looked absolutely furious in the best sort of way. Frustrated to the max as you teased him mercilessly, only spending meere fleeting moments at the spots which needed the most attention.

Then he snapped, taking you by surprise and using his hand that was still tangled in your hair to hold you still while he shoved his cock in your mouth. You tried to gasp but it merely came out as a small strangled whimper that was cut off as his length reached that back of your throat. You moved your hands to the sides of his hips once again, bracing yourself as he slowly pulled his member out of your mouth, most likely winding up for another thrust. He propelled his hips forward once again, stuffing not nearly all of his cock into your mouth, as his tip grazed the back of your throat. The feeling of him completely filling your mouth had you livid, your eyes rolling to the back of your head as you moaned, the vibrations reverberating onto his appendage which drew a salacious moan from his plush parted pink lips.

“Fuck, your mouth feels like heaven.” he moaned out, then he started to fuck your face, tears pooling in your eyes while his dick basically hit the back of your throat with every harsh stroke of his hips as he gripped on your hair tighter. After one particularly hard thrust, he held his length down your throat as tears rolled down your cheeks and you gagged around him. He took his cock out of your mouth, to which you gasped, swallowing the spit that pooled in your mouth with an aroused groan.

“Tastes so good.” you mumbled, not possibly being able to get enough as he shoved his cock back into your mouth and fucked your throat relentlessly. The tension building in you was too much to bear and your need to cum only heightened as his actions resumed. You arched your back slightly, pushing your clothed clit into the black leather cushions of the couch as you gyrated into it slowly, praying he wouldn’t notice and would be too invested in fucking your throat to realize.

You were wrong. He noticed immediately.

He halted all movements, taking his cock from your throat and grabbing your neck harshly, to which you gasped, whimpering as he pulled you up to stand in front of him, cock slapping the front of your body as you stared at his face in anticipation of his actions. You could imagine what you looked like right now swollen glossy lips, and tear stains running down your face because you didn’t bother to wear your waterproof mascara. You never needed it any other time so you figured why would you need it now. Oh how wrong you were.

“Dirty little dove, trying to get off on the couch because you want me that bad?” he rasped, nearing closer to your face with each word and you nodded frantically, basically begging him to do something, anything. “Words” he barked, drawing a cry from your lips as you thought of what to say.

“I want your cock, please sir.” you begged, before he groaned hungrily and captured your lips in a ravenous kiss, taking you by surprise. No one had ever kissed you after they’d fucked your throat before so why would he do it. You didn’t dwell on that thought for too long before melting into his touch and wrapping your arms around his neck. Jungkook took his free hand, trailing it around your body to unclasp the back of your bra, your eyes going wide at the skillful ease of his fingers. He snatched the white lace clothing off of your frame, tossing it to the other side of the room and reaching back up to cup one of your soft breasts in his hand, flicking the nipple with his index finger and making you sigh satisfactorily into his mouth. He leaned forward, taking you with him as he lowered both of you back onto the couch, settling himself between your newly opened legs and never breaking the kiss. He unlatched his hand from your neck, trailing it down your body as the other hand continued to knead your breast skillfully. His burning touch slowly ventured further and further down your abdomen until he reached the band of your panties and abruptly tore the thin while lace from your body to your dismay and discarding it on the floor beside him. You whined sadly, as those had been your favorite pair of underwear but barely had any sort of time to grieve as you felt two rough fingers dip into the wetness of your slit, trailing them up and stopping right over the spot you needed him to be at, pulling a moan from your still swollen lips.

He began kissing a trail down your body, stopping for a mere moment to suck on the pert bud of your free breast before resuming his path of destruction. He moved his hands to settle on the inner sides of your thighs, spreading them apart and sighing as he got a glimpse of the treasure between them. Your eyes widened upon realizing his destination as you scooched away, holding a handful of his tousled black hair in an attempt to grab his attention.

“I-…” you paused, chewing on your bottom lip and thinking of how to word your statement. “i’ve never asked anyone to do that for me before, so y- you don’t have to do it.” you stuttered wearily as the nerves set in. No one’s face had ever been remotely close to your womanhood and the thought of it sent a chill down your spine as you released his hair from your grasp. You wondered what it would even be like. He glanced up at you, eyes dilated as he chuckled, a dark chuckle that made you shiver as he tightened his grip on your thighs, yanking you closer to his face and taking a deep drag of your scent once you were close enough.

“Oh baby I want to” he basically moaned out, licking his lips and glancing down at your glistening slit, the corners of his lips turning up in a hungry smile. You raised an eyebrow, asking yourself ‘why the fuck would he want to do that?’, and ‘isn’t this for my pleasure?’, but all your concerns were answered once he spoke again. “I can’t wait to make you writhe on my tongue little dove” he muttered, causing your cheeks to burn with the intensity of a thousand suns as he talked into your soaking entrance. “... make you beg and cry without even using my cock.” he continued, releasing your left thigh from his grip as he placed a hand on your pubic mound, lowering his thumb and slowly beginning to circle your clit eliciting a loud wail from you. “You think, if I had the power to turn you into a messy little whore all for me just by using my mouth, I wouldn’t use it at any chance I could?” He asked and you whined, nodding as your hips stuttered up in desperate need of more friction. “It’s all about power baby, and I have it all here” he groaned, watching you clench pathetic around nothing.

Then, he finally gave you what you wanted. His hand resumed its grip on your thigh, forcing it away from the other as his thumb was swiftly replaced by his warm tongue licking up and down your wet sex. You moaned, placing your shaky hands on the mounds of your chest, toying with your nipples just to add to the pleasurable sensations he was creating with his tongue. This feeling was unlike any ecstasy you had ever felt and you never wanted it to stop. His tongue slipped deftly into your soaked entrance twisting and turning skillfully as you keened loudly. His warm wet appendage swirling around your wet cavern was the best feeling in the entire world and you knew if he continued ravaging you at this pace, you’d cum in no time. But, you needed this release. You needed to let go of all this pent up sexual frustration you didn’t even know you harbored. You needed to experience your first orgasm in months, if not years, that wasn’t self inflicted and you hoped and prayed with all your heart that it would come soon.

He switched his focus,, moving his tongue up to play with your aching clit and slipping two fingers into your formerly empty hole with a deep groan that reverberated through your core like a powerful vibrator which only intensified your moans and cries of pleasure. You looked down on yourself to see the delicious sight of him devouring your cunt ruthlessly, the sight alone almost tipping you over the edge as you brought your hands up, covering your eyes while you neared completion.

“Jungkook you’re gonna make me cum.” you called out, an exasperated cry leaving your lips when your impending orgasm was painfully ripped away from you as all his motion stopped. You uncovered your eyes, about to stare down when your body jolted, a harsh sting being felt directly on your clit, sending a wave of warmth barreling through your entire body. Then you understood, he slapped you, and you peered down at him, your eyes glassy due to the orgasm that was ripped from your grasp.

“Who? said you can cum.” he deadpanned menacingly, staring up at you through hooded eyes as you leaned your head back tiredly, realizing the error in your words and prepared to beg, just like he said you would.

“Sir” you cried, holding your arms limply over your head as you continued to plead. “Sir please, please make me cum.” you begged mercilessly, a tear of relief sliding down your cheek as he resumed his assault on your core, attacking at a steady pace and retrieving the all too familiar knot that formed in the pit of your stomach. You reached up, grabbing the edge of the couch with an iron grip, your knuckles turning white as your hips began circling on his face, your clit rubbing against his tongue with every movement and venturing you closer to your sweet release.”Please don’t stop sir, oh my god” you whined loudly, fucking his face relentlessly as you chased your high, nearing it more and more with each thrust of your hips until he finally pushed you off the brink of ecstasy, a scream leaving your lips as Jungkook continued his unrelenting attack on your pained pussy.

You rode out your high, writhing and panting before him, his pace never faltering, his fingers never slowing, his tongue never relenting and it soon became too much. The euphoric delirium quickly turned into madness as you barreled down the path into overstimulation. You wailed pathetically, thrashing under his hold as the pleasurable pain consumed your body and you could barely form a coherent sentence but you persevered, scraping all the coherent thoughts you could muster and turning them into tangible words that sat on the tip of your tongue, ready to be spoken. “Sir please, it's too much!” you cried to which Jungkook finally let up, slowing his pace to a halt and sitting back.

“Oh my god that was so fucking hot” he growled before sucking on his glossy fingers and cleaning around his mouth with his skilled tongue as he gazed amusedly upon your exhausted body. But he was nowhere near done with you. This fact made apparent when he stood and wrapped an arm around your hip, lifting your limp body and turning you over with ease, positioning you so your face was pressed into the now warm couch cushion and your ass was raised high into the air before him. His eyes rolled at the view of your swollen cunt bent over for him and he gave it a light smack, eliciting a pained, but tired yelp from you as he chuckled muttering “you’re going to drive me crazy little dove.” under his breath.

He crouched down, coming face to lips with your abused cunt as he wrapped his arms around your bent bottom, lacing his fingers together as they rested at the arch of your back and dragging his nose up the tortured path of your slit, drawing whines and cries of overstimulation from your wiggling frame as you tried to get away from the punishing menace that was his face. “No, please. I can't take anymore, it's too much.” You whimpered, your voice muffled as you leaned your face into the couch tiredly to which he obliged, reluctantly, as he stood, grabbing his neglected dick in hand and pointing it toward your pink entrance.

“I can’t wait to stretch your pretty little pussy ____.” he purred and you moaned at the sound of your name slipping off of his tongue like the creamiest butter. He dragged his tip along your swollen clit, abusing it again for what seemed like the millionth time that day as he covered his girth in your slick, a guttural groan emitting from the back of his throat. Then, abruptly, he sunk into your slippery cavern, barely all the way in but you’d never felt so full in your entire life as he pushed forward slowly, filling you up and providing you with the most delicious stretch you’d ever felt. Your eyes rolled into the back of your head as you whined, a desperate whine that you could barely register was your own voice as he pushed his length completely inside of you, his head falling back and your name, rolling off of his tongue once again.

After barely giving you time to adjust to his alarming size, he reeled his hips back before slamming into you again, and again, and again, over and over again until he was fucking you at an unrelenting speed you barely knew was possible to achieve. Suffering from the overwhelming pleasure he forced you to endure, you shut your eyes tight, crying out in strangled indulgence as you grasped onto the fluffy throw blanket strewn lazily over the couch in front of you. You relished in the sting of his girth, staring ahead blankly with glassy eyes as he rammed into you with a punishing speed and black mascara filled tears streamed down your cheeks.

You knew you were about to cum soon, again, only due to the all too familiar feeling accumulating in the pit of your belly. Jungkook reached down, placing a hand on your shoulder blade and pressing your chest further into the couch while he drilled into you, moaning and cursing at the feeling of you flexing deliciously around his cock. He felt you were close, so he moved his hand, snaking it around your waist and trailing his other hand to assume its position around your neck, hoisting you up so your back was arched against his abdomen and you had no choice but to stare up at him as he talked down on you, never slowing the snapping of his hips for a wavering moment.

“You’ve never been fucked this good have you?” he teased through clenched teeth as he leaned down, sucking and marking all over the expanse of your neck with grunts and growls of pleasure. You were way too fucked out to even think about the words to form a coherent sentence, barely being able to form whimpered versions of ‘mhm’ after he questioned you but he was having none of that. He unraveled his hand from your waist, tightening his grip on your throat and landing a hard slap to your left asscheek, drawing a shrill shriek from the depths of your throat as he warned in your ear. “Words little dove” he slapped you again, “how many times do I have to fucking warn you.” he concluded, landing another harsh smack to your abused flesh as you whimpered.

“You’re the best I’ve ever had, I’m such a slut for you sir.” You sobbed out, “please let me cum, please fuck” you whined, drawing out your words and you reached back, tangling both hands in his unruly mop of hair as he split you open, moaning directly in your ear which in itself, was a thing that could make you cum on the spot.

“Cum then.” He said obviously, as if it was the most simple response, only it was this simple command that shoved you off the precipice of ecstasy for a second time. The feeling that bloomed deep in your stomach soon blossomed into a full blown orgasm that racked through your body quickly, leaving nothing but white hot pleasure in its wake as your legs trembled viciously, with one last loud cry of Jungkook’s name. But, he still did not falter, his pace quickening as he neared his own climax, the speed both too much and not nearly enough at the same time. You reached back, attempting to push him and escape the all consuming pleasure torturing your body like a blazing fire but your hands were caught quickly by Jungkook’s hands which crossed them tightly and held them behind your back, resuming his attack.

You shook your head, letting it hang as your tears fell freely onto the couch before you, his moans and groans of ecstasy increasing in volume and frequency as he neared his own climax, his hips faltering in their pace for the first time in a while as he worked to his own release. In what seemed like an instant, he released the most beautiful, salacious, strangled moan you had ever heard, pulling himself out of your soaked cunt, and painting the surface of your ass with his white hot ropes of cum. He finally let you go after a moment, watching as you fell limply to the couch, laying face down, panting exhaustively, your arms still crossed limply behind your back as he smirked down at your fucked out frame. He left you alone for just a bit, coming back but a few moments later before you felt the sore skin of your asscheeks being wiped off with what felt like a warm hand towel. You were relieved he had the respect to clean his mess, it made you respect him just a little bit more as a person but you were way too tired to dwell on the subject any longer.

“You did so good for me little dove” he cooed, his voice softer than you’d ever heard it as he placed a sweet chaste kiss on your lower back, caressing his hand up the side of your body. A simple touch that lacked any sort of sexual aspects, it felt comforting and you sighed, leaning further into the soft couch as you heard him begin to put his clothing on. You felt a pang of distress, seeing as you were more of a fuck and cuddle kind of girl, but you really hadn’t expected him to stay so why’d you feel the need to ask him to. Pushing the feeling deep inside your gut, you sighed deeply as he walked in front of you to bend forward and grab his gun that laid discarded on the opposite side of your couch, also grabbing the throw blanket beside it and tossing it over your naked frame before thinking about something. “So,” he started, tucking his gun in the back of his pants and humming, “I’m thinking that was worth about, hmm 50k” he started. You vaguely understood what he was saying and knew you’d flip out once you were conscious enough to truly comprehend his words. “I’ll keep in touch.” He said, pulling his shirt down and smiling deviously at you as you uttered a hoarse ‘huh?’ To which he answered simply, “if I wanna come collect some more money” and he spun on his heels, opening your door and sauntering out of the threshold.

When he got into the hallway, Jungkook burst into a wide smile, satisfied with the encounter he made today. He entered this agreement fully prepared to either fuck you once and take the money you’d earned back or just fuck you and kill you, but once he’d had a taste, he was insatiable. You were flawless, your compliance was impeccable. The way you obeyed him, begged for him, the way you tasted, the way you felt, the way you looked. There was no way he could ever get enough and is probably the reason he kept overstimulating you like a frat boy with a bruised ego. There was no way he was gonna just let go of an absolute gem like you, so he made his excuse, a plan. Everytime you fuck him, you pay back a portion of the money. He was so tempted to tell you this session was only worth $100 just as an excuse to come back over and over and over until he had his fill, but he kept his composure, giving you hope that you’d ever be free of his grasp. Jungkook for once was extremely ecstatic, elated, excited to ruin you even more than he already had and he was dead set on making you want him just as much as he craved you no matter what it took. Though he was pretty sure you already did.

#bts #bts smut #bts fic #jeon jungguk #jungkook #jungkook smut #jungkook fic #oneshot #mafia!bts #mafia!jungkook #jungkook x reader #jungkook x you #jungkook x y/n #bts angst #mafia au #GUNPLAYHAHAHA #IM SUPER EFFED UP #this took sooooo long

[mirukostallbabygirl]

BNHA boys after passing No-Nut-November

Yeah. It’s what it sounds like. Prepare to have your backs blown out folks 😌🤚

Characters: deku, denki, Kirishima, Aizawa, Hawks, Mirio

All characters are 18+

Warnings: Cockwarming, Overstimulation, rough sex, phone sex

Deku ~ Izuku Midoriya

Dude was literally DYING all of November

Because now that he has a girlfriend why wouldn’t he have sex??

But you seemed excited and suspicious of his ability to do it, so— like a true hero— he took on the challenge

He didn’t realize how used to sex he already was, and he sometimes woke up to himself humping a pillow in his sleep (but shh he didn’t tell you about that)

The two of you were texting during the night of November 30

And you could feel the desperation in his texts

Seeing the minutes tick by... 12:30... 12:45... 12:5

It was maddening

He didn’t want to come on too strong, so he decided that he would rather FaceTime you, because he though it would be less awkward (and there aren’t receipts if you say no)

But you were one step ahead of him

You had your alarm set to go off at 12:00 AM December 1st

He was startled when the annoying chime blasted out of your phone, stuttering on what he was saying

So you cut him off, turning your screen to show the time and asking “hey baby, do you want to come over?”

This mans eyes SPARKLED LIKE A KID ISTG

He didn’t even reply. You just saw a shaky view of his room and the sound of shuffling clothes and shoes, then the click of a door lock

He showed up at your door a few minutes later, after having hung up without another word on his way there

You opened the door and there were lips on yours, strong arms gripping your waist

Then groping your tits and ass

He never goes insanely hard

But that was the roughest sex you two had ever had

It honestly made not being able to have sex with him worth it for the absolute monstrous fuck you guys had

And it was a LONG session

You thought about calling in sick from work to stay with him and see if you could make your torn-apart body go for another round

Denki Kaminari

He gets zappy when he’s horny (like— literal electricity)

And he’s horny a lot because you refuse to let him have sec with you, and even worse— he can’t even Jack off to the thought of you

He tried to get away with it a few times only for you to feel the change of static in the air and come to his bedroom

He DEFINITELY would not have made it through if you hadn’t held him accountable the whole time

And even though at those times you were helping, you weren’t making it easy for him otherwise

You’d wear the short skirts that he liked and purposefully bend over to grab things from the floor, flashing yourself to him

It was funny to see how red he got and then how hard he got— smirking when you caught a glimpse at the tent in his trousers

So on November 30, he had it all planned out

He picked out an outfit for you, and set up his room all elegant

And he asked you to come over to spend the night

You were excited

It’s not like the two of always had sex impromtu, but there was never this level of preparation

You came in around 11 for a late-late night dinner (because what’s a sleep schedule— neither of you knew, that was for sure) of boxed macaroni

His lack of cooking ability was endearing

After dinner, he handed you a bag to go change into

It had thigh high socks, thigh harnesses, and a black and gold lingerie set

You looked hot— you couldn’t lie

When you came out you saw that the clock read 11:57

And Denki turned around, turning a bright crimson

You teased him “you picked this out, silly, why are you getting so flustered?”

He pulled you down to straddle despite how red he got

The two of you kissed until the clock hit 12

And it wasn’t like the two of you hadn’t kissed all month, but it felt special when you’d be intimate for the first time in a while

He brought you to the bedroom and the two of you spent a whole 3 minutes being romantic before both of you were ravaging each other

It was hard to tell who missed sex more between the two of you

But you were both relieved it was over

Red Riot ~ Eijiro Kirishima

During all of November, he decided that whenever he was missing your body, he would train

And he did OH HOW he did

He was big and strong and he’d taken on extra hours to work on his hardening quirk, and had shown a lot of improvement

You suddenly had to cope with the fact that your boyfriend got EVEN HOTTER, and you weren’t having sex with him

You even gave in a few times, begging him to fuck you, but every time he denied, “that’s not very manly of me to fail the challenge” he would explain and then head out to the gym

It’s fair to say that it sucked for you

So when November was ending, you made a plan

He worked long hours at his agency, so he wouldn’t be back until it was almost 12, which (you being the night owl you are) has never been a problem

But it was today

So, here you are at his agency, rapping on his office door during his lunch break

He hugged you and pulled you inside of his office like he’s done every day you showed up at his office since you started dating

But you were horny and so was he and the tension was high between the two of you

No one wanted to make the first move, because that would be admitting defeat

So you walked to the side of his desk, his eyes following your ass, and bend down to grab his lunch from the left drawer

You hiked your skirt up enough so that he could see a flash of your panties

You weren’t going to make this last day easy on him, but you weren’t trying to make him lose either

But he was on you after that

Hands on your hips, cock pressed against your clothed ass

And you were so in

You both lost your stubbornness quickly when the lust grew too hard to handle

So you let him pull your panties to the side and start thrusting

God you missed this

And he was so much stronger now

You let out moans as he co tinued, not caring if anyone out in their cubicles heard

You were Red Riot’s and he was yours

You both came, multiple times

And when he relaxed back on his desk chair which you collapsed on his chest

You decided to make the final blow

“You realize you lost, right babe?”

And deep red eyes met yours with a seriousness rivaling that of some prestigious heroes (which was hardly eijiro— everyone loved him as a refreshing kind savior rather than the usual aloofness of heroes)

“I could keep going if you want to be a brat.”

Eraser Head ~ Shota Aizawa

He’s not a very sex-motivated guy

But he definitely liked it every once in a while— especially with you

His baby girl struggling to take him, writhing in pleasure, cumming 2,3,4 times

He loves it

And he decides that he’ll still get to see his baby get pleasure, and just not get any of his own

So most of the month, if you were in the same room as him, you had a vibrator buried deep in your cunt

It didn’t feel the same as him feeling you up, but it was hard to sit still or focus when he was indirectly doing such lewd things to you

So November was long for you

And not in a bad way, but you were ready for it to be over, and you could tell he was, too

He was near his wits end from not getting to unload into his little girl, and it reflected on his teaching

You wondered if his students could tell he was lashing out because of sexual frustration

The thought made you laugh

So he cancelled or denied any plans anyone made that night, and so did you

You spent the afternoon together, watching tv mindlessly as you sat on his cock

That was something you two had done a lot more— cockwarming

It was nice to be so close to him

And he argued that the challenge was that he couldn’t cum, not that he couldn’t have his dick in you

So you agreed

And now it was nearing time, and he started slowly thrusting into you, both of your heads turned to the clock as you counted down the seconds until you could both cum

And when the clock finally shone 12:00, it was over for you

Brutal thrusts from underneath you left you with a cream-filled pussy, and then again on your hands and knees against the couch, and on the kitchen counter, and the bed

He had to make up for all the time he wasn’t able to pleasure you himself

So you let yourself be completely destroyed by his cock multiple times

Your legs were t even working past your 3rd orgasm, so he’d just carry you to his new destination

Hawks ~ Takami Keigo

He loved you, but this was not a hard challenge for him

He hadn’t got laid for most of his teenage years

And the two of you did it only on occasion before you teased the idea and he said that he didn’t think you could do it— not have sex with him

So it was more like no-nut-November for you

But you wouldn’t let his teasing be confirmed

So you stood your ground

The two of you made it through the first week with fire in your eyes— encouraged by the want to win against the other

Even the second week was fine

Then you walked in on him fapping like a teenager in your bedroom, surrounded by a few of your sentimental stuffed animals from when you were a kid and a pair of dirty panties

You didn’t intrude

You just let him

And your fingers made their way to the waistband of your panties

You were egged on by his moans seeping through the wall and to your ears

Gorgeous, erotic, and effortless moans that could make you cum without touching yourself at all

But here you are, rubbing your clit and dipping your fingers into your puffy cunt as he jerked himself off on your bed

The two of you never mentioned this

Neither of you were going to admit that that could t even last 3 weeks

You weren’t even sure he saw you, but you sure saw him

And it didn’t happen again, as much as you wanted it to

The sex wasn’t life changing when he could do it again

The real reason you two were together was because you love the other, and that didn’t go away just because you couldn’t fuck

So the two of you were solidified in the shared opinion that you would be happy no matter what happens

And you spend the night bare against his chest, wings brought around your body in a protective shield

Togata Mirio

He made it through the month just fine, usually too busy training and working to have time for you two to have sex

Instead the two of you work together and cuddle at night

And it’s satisfying, but it’s not mind-blowing for either of you

You’d much rather be able to have sex when he has an off night

He actually has a business trip spanning from November 27-December 3, which was a painfully long time for you

You had gotten your hopes up to be able to be destroyed by him

Instead you two FaceTime every night

And he’s too shy to mention it, but once November has passed, he’s aching to get back to you

Aching to get his cock back buried deep in you

You start touching yourself on FaceTime the night before his flight back

He didn’t notice at first

But he saw your arm flexing as you rubbed tight circles on your clit while listening to his voice

“Whatcha doing there sweetie?”

He asked it all innocent but you know better

You slide the phone down to show your pussy dripping with need

You hear him mutter a soft “fuck” before you hear the sound of unzipping and clothing falling to the ground, keeping yourself in view for him while he shows his equally needy cock on the camera

It’s blushing red on the top, so ready for you you wish you had a teleportation quirk

But the two of you were relieved to be doing just this after so long

And after you both came on your fingers, he promised he would give it to you so good when he got back

And he did not disappoint

#🖌.headcannons #deku x reader #denki x reader #kirishima x reader #aizawa x reader #hawks x reader #mirio x reader #bnha smut #tw: cockwarming #tw: rough #tw: overstimulation #I wanted to make sure I got everything that could possibly be upsetting lol

[acciocriativity]

You and Me || Harry Potter

Pairing: Draco Malfoy x Slytherin/Reader

Summary: It's always been you and Draco since you can remember, the invincible duo, the two of you against the world but some things have changed along the way and it's not news to any soul at Hogwarts but it's time your parents knew too. 

 Word Count: 2,8k

A/N: I took a bit to finish but here it is your story @x-dratie-x. I hope you all like it! Tom Riddle is not Voldemort in this oneshot, Voldemort didn’t exist at all but the events of the first war and its consequences still is valid, but with another wizard.

Warnings: A very very slightly sexual conversation and that's all

1987  

  I didn't want to be at that dinner, I didn't want to have to listen all day long to how well I should behave because the Malfoy's were such an important family or something. 

I had plans for the week, I would go with our elf to buy more art supplies and I was allowed to spend the day outside the house, just drawing the landscape. 

My parents never let me participate in events like this, because I might mess up, say something inappropriate for the moment, or whatever excuse they decided to make up. But out of the blue, I was told that I would have to be there. Why? I couldn't understand and I didn't even ask them, what good would it do? None. 

The day was only getting worse and worse by the hour for me, I just wanted to take off that dress and go play but I couldn't, obviously. So I did what was left to me, smile and eat politely without making any noise or comments, not that there were any comments I would like to make. I had no idea what they were talking about, it was absolutely boring. The only thing that made me feel slightly better were my own thoughts and the fact that their son was as bored as I was. 

We knew each other because of some casual encounters between our parents but never had the opportunity to talk to each other, because of course, only grown-ups talk.

But it seems that I drew the long straw after a horrible day, after dinner Mr. and Mrs. Malfoy were invited to stay a little longer and I was excused along with Draco to play.  

I could hardly believe it, I wouldn't have to sit there and smile for another 45 minutes, my happiness couldn't be measured at that moment. Not even waiting for my mother to say it again, I stood up and said goodbye politely with a smile before walking up the stairs and I could hear footsteps following me somewhat hesitantly but I didn't care at the moment. 

"Come on, let's go play in my room", I exclaimed with a huge smile and threw the bow tie, which was pinning my hair, on the floor and quickly walked over to it uncaringly.

 I missed his shocked expression but as soon as we reached my door, he made sure to make it clear to me. 

"Do your parents let you do that?", the question made no sense in my head but stopping to think about it now, it makes sense, he should always be flawless. 

"They don't care as long as it's not in front of guests, you won't tell them, right?", his greyish blue eyes reflected mine and for a few seconds I thought that was a beautiful effect.

 He looked away from me and nodded slightly in agreement, his face covered in shyness and I just squealed with delight. I opened the door and pulled him inside, his hand was so cold that I thought about taking one of my jackets and handing it to him. 

"So what do you want to do? I have some toys in my closet, I'll get them", I walked happily to the door and proceeded to try to decide what I would want. Some was not the best word, there were a lot of them, far more than I would ever use. 

 I came back with a big mulberry box that I've only been able to carry within the last year and placed it on my bed but he didn't even notice, he was looking at my drawings. 

"Oh, you liked them. I wish I had done one more today, do you want to try?", I asked him and walked over to the table where my sheets were. 

"Yeah, they're not too bad", he stated nonchalantly and I didn't believe him for a moment but I chose to keep my mouth shut for once. 

 I picked up two white sheets, two quills and sat down quietly on the floor, since I didn't have two chairs for the two of us but it seems he wasn't used to that. 

"Come on, hurry up, your parents won't be here forever", I patted the seat next to me and soon he sat down as well, I noticed his posture still uncomfortable and my goal for the day turned to change that, if only for 5 minutes. 

 From that day on, we became closer and our parents obviously understood and liked that, because we were strengthening their relationship and at no point that crossed my mind. I was just happy to be supported by my parents to visit Draco. 

1991

 My Hogwarts letter had arrived some weeks ago and I hadn't let go at any point, going to Diagon Alley had become a completely different experience and I couldn't wait, but I had to because I pleaded with my and his parents so that we would go together.

But the day had finally arrived and I had to contain all my energy to not look like an out of control little girl, nothing out of the ordinary but today was more difficult because I was genuinely happy. I was always genuinely happy with my only real friend. 

"Y/N, you must hurry or we are going to be late", I could hear my mother's voice from downstairs just as I finished putting on my flats. 

 As it was a very important occasion I had chosen my favorite outfit, even my parents were a little excited too. They had told me that they had met at Hogwarts and that I would find someone from a good family at Slytherin as well. This part was completely ignored by me but they never found out about it. 

"I'm here mom, we won't be late", I said as soon as I came down the stairs and approached them without running. We were near the fireplace and I mentally thanked them for not having to apparate, because it was always a horrible experience for me.

"Okay, I'll go first and you two right after", my father made sure to announce although he always goes first when we go out like that.   

 After a few minutes, we arrived in front of Flourish & Blotts and there was the imposing Malfoy family. After a small talk in which I had no interest in paying attention to, we all went inside and we were finally able to talk while our parents were engaged in a conversation with the attendant. 

"I've already said it once and I'll say it again, I honestly don't understand how you're not that excited, it's Hogwarts", I whispered to him as we walked through the messy shelves full of books. 

"It doesn't seem like a great thing after hearing it so many times", I could clearly see that there was something more there, I had known him long enough to know that and also that he wouldn't tell me easily. 

"Okay, so you're telling me that you're not the least bit excited to leave Malfoy Manor to start your life?", his lips twitched trying to hold back a smile, his eyes shifted from mine, looking for something to distract himself. 

 But I could stop him, my cunning little hands went to his waist tickling that area before he could prevent me from doing so. That was enough to make him laugh, although he denied that he was ticklish every time I asked. 

This attack did not end well for me, because revenge existed in his vocabulary and was even overused. I had to run, as fast as I could, and it still didn't work. 

And why? Because I went to a dead end corridor upstairs, I had never even visited the second floor of that store, the day I went there I had to get unlucky. 

In short, I was attacked twice more without mercy, my glasses almost got broken and we were so noisy that the owner gave us a scolding and our parents did the same as soon as we left with our packages, but this was not enough to ruin the day and our good mood. 

1993

 It was already expected that we would both end up in Slytherin, which was great because we didn't have to be separated, on the opposite, we became closer than ever. It also didn't take long to form our group of friends, actually not more than a month but the thing that made us truly close started in the third year when I had a genius idea. 

We all had a reason to dislike Harry, mine was nowhere near Draco's, no one's was but we shared it anyway. It was always fun to pick fights with him, make pranks and get him into trouble on purpose, so why not make it a little game? It was so easy that the idiots, Crabbe and Goyle understood the first few times, you can't expect more than that from them, and this was certainly a record for both. 

The game had three main objectives: 

- Take the most materials from Harry or his friends: ink, quill, books, whatever they were carrying would be a prize and would get a point.

- See him or his friends more often, with the intention of spying on them just for fun, of course. It could be in class or in the corridors, each time would be an extra point. 

- Pick fights with him or his friends, each minute was worth one point and to be proven, had to have someone to confirm it. 

 Of course, there was no room for lies, and I made sure to put a spell on our board to prevent this. Yes, I had made a small board that stayed with me but each team wrote down their own score.

To make it more fun, we split up into pairs. Draco and I, Pansy and Blaise, Grabbe and Goyle, Astoria and Millicent and Tom and Theo.

And finally, the best part, whoever had the most points at the end of the year would win 5 galleons from each person, as well as having a celebration party financed by the losers.  

Needless to say, Draco and I always won since the day I created the game. Our friends always complained about us playing dirty but it was never necessary and deep down they knew it, it must be hard to lose every year so I don't judge them.  

1995

"Are they still complaining?", I remained with my eyes closed, it was comfortable to lie curled up against Draco on the couch in the common room. We had two free classes, which was being put to good use to get some rest after a year of N.O.M.S. and a devastating victory in our little game.

"They'll get over it when we come back in September, I guess.... You're missing the best part", his voice came out whispered directly into my ear and I couldn't help but smile.      

 I didn't need to see the scene to know what was going on, Tom and Theo blaming each other for the defeat, everyone standing back from them because no one wants to get involved in their ego battle and our other friends trying not to laugh because it was a funny scene, even if they didn't know it.

"They're taking longer than last time...", I commented slightly annoyed by the noise. I had no idea what had happened to me, because usually I spent the afternoon celebrating my victory but not today. 

"Let's get out of here, you seems so good", he hadn't even completed his sentence when I agreed and painfully got up to go to his room. 

 But before I could take two steps, I felt his arms go around my waist and legs, leading me up the stairs in a bridal style.

I smiled wider and snuggled into his arms, enjoying more of the warmth and good feeling it gave me until we reached the bed.

"Thanks honey, I don't know what happened today", I commented under my breath as soon as he had me lying on the bed, but I knew it was a lie.

"Are you sure? This isn't related to the fact that our parents will know about our relationship in a few days?", I hoped he would pretend he didn't know but that wasn't the case, I wasn't going to be able to run away from the subject.

"It's just that I don't like them meddling in our lives, of course I have nothing against your parents, I'll love to be introduced as your girlfriend but my parents will be twice as unbearable", I sighed and hugged the blond once more, if there was one thing that made me better it was this. 

"Like my mom isn't going to start a 3 year planning for our wedding after she finds out, but at least they'll be used to it by the end of the summer and we won't have to go through this again", he began to fiddle with my hair and curl the strands between his fingers, slowly my shoulders relaxed and a considerable chunk of my worry faded away.

"Yes, I think so but it's going to be a lot harder for us to be alone now. You definitely won't be stepping foot in my room like you did when we used to play together", the memories flooded back and I felt him smile too, it had been a while since this had escaped my thoughts. 

"I don't need to worry about that, we slept together for almost the entire year at Hogwarts and they can't do anything about it and we'll keep doing it", I couldn't see him since my face was buried in his neck, but the perfect image of his mischievous grin formed in my head. 

 "The question is, will you survive for two months without me? Because I don't see that happening", I teased with a huge smirk as I turned to look him in the eye. 

"It won't happen because your father won't be enough to stop me love and I'll make sure you don't have to resort to your hands, because we know it wouldn't be enough", smugness was all over his face and as much as I searched for an answer to that, I didn't have one. Not in the first few seconds. 

"Good love, that's good because I'm sure your hands wouldn't do a better job either. In fact, I'd be a little worried if they actually still work, in case we get separated", I had managed to wipe the smirk off his face but I also knew it wouldn't stay that way, revenge was still an overused word in his vocabulary. 

 A week later, there I was on one of the Hogwarts Express cars with Draco, since we couldn't fit all our friends there anyway, we decided to enjoy the last hours of freedom we had together. 

And how quickly it went by, one moment I was chatting with my boyfriend while my puppy slept peacefully in her travel bed and the next, we had arrived and a wave of students were trying to get through the doors at the same time. 

We stepped off the train holding hands, while I carried only my baby in the other, and this detail did not escape the trained eyes of our parents who were talking side by side but as soon as they noticed us they stopped.

"For Merlin's sake, you two finally decided to listen to me and are in a relationship now?", my mother's eyes sparkled with excitement and I could already hear her voice asking me all sorts of embarrassing questions. "Narcisa, our family is finally becoming one, this is the best news I could ever receive", she could jump for joy now but because of the good posture of a London high society woman, she did not do that.

"How about dinner at our house today? We have a good reason to celebrate," I had seen his mother smile at me several times but even Lucius Malfoy seemed satisfied enough to show a little bit of his teeth, which is indeed shocking.

 My parents agreed to the idea immediately and only one look was exchanged between Draco and me, it only took a single look to know that we both acknowledged it would be an insufferable night. 

Harry Potter Masterlist

#harry potter fanfiction #fred weasley #harry potter x reader #harry potter #george weasley #draco malfoy x reader #george weasley x reader #fred weasley x reader #draco malfoy fluff #draco malfoy masterlist #Masterlist #draco malfoy smut #cedric diggory #sirius black #hp fanfic

[lunabonita]

My Webtoon Recommendations

These are webtoons that are all 10/10 for me. Of course it doesn’t have to be a 10/10 for you, so just a reminder, do not attack me for liking a webtoon that you do not. These are my opinions and we are not going to have the exact same taste. Please be respectful.

Your Throne

Genre: Fantasy

Chapters: 75

Status: Ongoing

-

“Tensions are brewing under the seemingly calm surface of the Vasilios Empire, a kingdom ruled by the Imperial Family and the Temple. Lady Medea Solon has lost her place next to Crown Prince Eros, but resolves to win back whats rightfully hers. Will she reclaim her throne?”

You know whats amazing about this webtoon? The summary leads you to think that what shes winning back is the prince. Wrong. Shes trying to win back the throne. I love how this webtoon doesn’t try to make it a girl focusing her goals on a man, but on power. Medea is such a strong and well written character that you can’t help but love her.

The second protagonist Pschye, who of which is the person who took Medeas place as Crown Princess, is the complete opposite of Medea. At the beginning you hate her, but as the webtoon goes on and Medea and her get a better understanding of eachother due to them switching bodies as a wish from God, you begin to root for them as they team up to take over the throne from the Crown Prince.

The art is so beautiful and I constantly found myself at awe from the amount of detail put into it.

-

The Makeup Remover

Genre: Romace

Chapters: 78

Status: Ongoing

-

“After years of being told to focus on studying, Yeseul feels lost when she starts college and is suddenly expected to pay attention to makeup. When a chance encounter with brilliant makeup artist Yuseong leads to her taking part in a televised makeup competition, Yeseul begins to question the role that makeup and appearance play in society.”

This was created by one of my favorite webtoon creators Lee Yone. Their art is just so amazing and their stories always include such good topics.

For instance, The Makeup Remover’s theme is loving yourself for who you are. It shows how people treat you based on your looks and as someone whos struggled with that kind of thing for a while, this webtoon really touched me. The main character Yeseul is such a relatable character, even when trying to reject beauty standards, she still came subject to the pressures of living up to the people around her. She struggles with trying to love her own appearance and I really like that this webtoon didn’t try to be like, ‘fuck the beauty standard im better than that screw pretty people!!!’ it actually showed realistically how people struggle with self-image. I also love the main love interest because oh my god, we need more men like him please. He doesn’t care about Yeseul’s appearance and genuinely loves her for her personality.

Also, art is amazing. The author is so talented and you should support them by reading and liking the chapters.

-

Surviving Romance

Genre: Horror

Chapters: 14

Status: Ongoing

-

“When Chaerin Eun becomes the protagonist of the romance novel she is reading, she expects a fairytale ending with the novel’s love interest, Jeha. But when a bizarre twist makes her realize the story is not playing out as it does in the book, she’ll need the help of an unlikely character from her class to defy the new storyline and find her happy ending - if only she can figure out who this ‘Unknown Extra’ is first!”

Hands down one of my favorite webtoons by a long shot. You ever see a webtoon and think, ‘oh yeah, thats going to be a good webtoon’? Thats how this webtoon was for me. It was so good that I spent hours searching for other chapters that hadn’t been uploaded to webtoon yet on other manhua websites. I discovered it because it was also by the author of ‘The Makeup Remover’.

If there is one thing you need to know about me, its that I am a huge horror fan. So when I saw that my favorite author on webtoon had a horror themed webtoon out? You bet your behind that I binged it. Let me tell you, best choice ever.

Think of it as if ‘Ino’s Law’ and ‘Quarantine’ were combined with amazing art and a badass MC.

The Remarried Empress

I love how it is set up to the point where she cannot ‘quit’ until she completes the novel. Creating scenarios where she must survive while meeting the standards in the book. It is such an amazingly written webtoon and I cannot wait for more chapters to be released.

-

Genre: Fantasy

Chapters: 82

Status: Ongoing

-

“Navier Ellie Trovi was an empress perfect in every way - intelligent, courageous, and socially adept. She was kind to her subjects and devoted to her husband. Navier was perfectly content to live the rest of her days as the wise empress of the Eastern Empire. That is, until her husband brought hone a mistress and demanded a divorce. ‘I accept this divorce… And i request an approval of my remarriage.’ In a shoking twist Navier remaarries another emperor and retains her title and childhood dream as empress. But just how did everything unfold? “

Am I in love with Navier? Yes.

I absolutely adore how this story was set up. The first chapter begins with the big divorce scene, followed by Navier saying that she was going to be remarrying someone else since he wants to divorce her. This sets up a picture that gets completely shattered as you read the chapters. How everything falls into place with the reason behind the divorce and the remarriage is just so well written. The art is so good and and everything is just so insanely well done.

I absolutely love Naviers character, from her regalness and devoted loyalty to her role as empress, all the way to her petty moments and times of sadness. She is truly a character that you want the best for, and I cannot image anyone not liking her. Also the story is just so capable of making you feel emotions. I’ve laughed, cried, and got angry during the course of reading this webtoon. I love how betrayed I felt when the emperor brought home his mistress. It felt like I was in Navier’s shoes!

This is such a well done webtoon and I'm so excited for Navier to get all of the good things she deserves in her new Kingdom and with her new husband.

-

Witch Creek Road

Genre: Horror

Chapters: 74

Status: Ongoing

-

“A survival horror about love, acceptance, death, and revenge. And sexy flesh-eating demons. Yeah, it has those, too.”

This series seriously mind fucked me. The way that this story is set up, you don’t see the full picture until the later chapters. Season two literally blew my mind. It is also very gorey so keep that in mind if you don’t like that kind of stuff, but for me that makes it all the better. It is just so wild and crass that you can feel your heart pumping in anticipation.

They even have their own website that goes further into the lore because it’s just so wild. Also the art style is just so amazing, because it complements the story and horror theme so much. You hate most of the characters because they suck, and it is so satisfying when they are killed. Also it has it’s sad moments but I think it is a nice break from the horror so it isn’t so overwhelmingly scary.

I binged this series and I recommend reading only a few chapters a day so you don’t overload your brain.

Other then that, an amazing webtoon. Seriously, go read it, support the author, so much work goes into the story and art that it’s insane.

-

Dating With A Tail

Genre: Romance

Chapters: 36

Status: Ongoing

-

“On the dawn of her 29th birthday, unlucky-in-love Yunha discovers a shocking family secret: she’s started growing a fox tail, the mark of an ancestral curse. She must find her fated love before her 30th birthday or she is destined to become a fox forever! Even with her new-found enchanting power to attract men using her scent, will one year be enough to break the curse before it’s too late?”

Oh my gosh this is just such a good webtoon. It has amazing art, story telling, and characters. The true love interest was there the whole time, the villain isn’t who you’d expect it to be, and the spirit who cursed her is just! Im not going to spoil it but go read this webtoon!! It is so good and deserves more love.

Also Yunha is just so relatable?? Like she put off finding the woodcutter (her fated love) for 29 years and waited last minute to find him. Homegirl is me trying to do a project for school. Also to get rid of the scent that makes men attracted to her, she just starts eating a ton of garlic and that is just so funny to me.

Also I would go to church for the priest anytime if you know what i mean ;)

-

Omniscient Reader

Genre: Action

Chapters: 53

Status: Ongoing

-

“Dokja was an average office worker whose sole interest was reading his favorite web novel ‘Three Ways to Survive the Apocalypse.’ But when the novel suddenly becomes reality, he is the only person who knows how the world will end. Armed with this realization, Dokja uses his understanding to change the course of the story, and the world, as he knows it.”

I cannot get over how high quality this story is. The world building is phenomenal, the art is fantastic, and the characters are very fleshed out. This deserved all the hype it has gotten so far and more.

I love the ‘mc thrown into a different reality’ trope so much. Just like with surviving romance, Dokja’s world became the story he was reading. Also a very cool aspect of the story is the level up and the fact that its like a game. Earth has turned into this show for god like creatures to watch and it follows Dokja trying to survive. I also really like that TWSA has a protagonist, but Omniscient Reader’s protagonist is not the protagonist that was in TWSA. There is just so much lore and I’ll say it again, the world building is just phenomenal.

The Ddokkaebi’s and Dokja’s interactions are also just some of my favorite moments from the story so far. And oh my goodness I would die for Lee Gilyoung. Thats it, thats the tweet. That little boy could probably kill me with his giant praying mantis and I would let him if it would make him happy.

-

Not So Shoujo Love Story

Genre: Comedy

Chapters: 45

Status: Ongoing

-

“Romance super-fan Rei Chan is ready for her first boyfriend and she knows just who it’ll be: the most handsome boy in school, Hansum Ochinchin. But her plans for the perfect story are derailed when the most popular girl in class declares herself a rival… for Rei’s heart?! This is the year her not so shoujo love story begins!”

This is just such a cute webtoon. The style is very appealing and while the humor can be childish and weird sometimes, it still has made me laugh a lot. I know the humors not for everyone but just keep in mind that it does get better as the story progresses and gets more serious.

Also its a gl! I’m really unable to find good gls these days that don’t fetishize wlw relationships. Rei being painted as a mean trouble maker whos just misunderstood and Hana being the ‘perfect girl’ who only wants Rei’s attention is such a cute dynamic. They balance each other out and better each other. Also stan Rei for constantly sticking up for Hana even if she doesn’t necessarily like her in the beginning, she has very good morals and sticks to them.

Also the defying stereotypes in this webtoon? Just god-tier. Really makes you think twice when you judge someone just on first impressions alone.

-

Odd Girl Out

Genre: Drama

Chapters: 264

Status: Ongoing

-

“After a successful winter break makeover, Nari is finally ready for her high school debut. But somehow, she ends up friends with the three prettiest girls in school! Follow Nari as she tries to navigate her brand new high school life surrounded by beauties.”

This story has made me cry multiple times. A lot, even. It is just such a beautiful tale of friendship and finding support in people who are unlike those around theme. It also tells a great story about how anybody can be the ‘odd girl out’. Be it the fat girl, the beautiful girl, the rich girl, or the laid back girl.

It goes so deep into its characters that you even feel bad for the minor antagonists. It really makes you feel for the characters and the reasons behind their actions. Also I know its long, believe me I binged all 260 chapters in the span of three days, but oh my god it is worth it. Also I know the art is kind of off-putting, in fact that’s kind of why I put off reading the story, but I’ve honestly grown to love it and the writing is so good that the art could be literal stick figures and it wouldn’t matter.

The story is amazing and also I just love Nari. She’s just the best.

-

Gremoryland

Genre: Horror

Chapters: 67

Status: Completed

-

“Six old school friends are invited to be the first visitors of GremoryLand, a new horror theme park that promises an experience as unique as it is spooky. But once this experience starts there is no turning back, and they find themselves tested beyond what they imagines, facing their most desperate fears in order to survive.”

This is definitely one of those stories were you kind of need to turn of your brain and choose to ignore ‘plot holes’ while reading the early chapters because this story definitely gets crazy if you don’t know the ending. Believe me if you stick with it it will all make sense and the satisfaction you get from finding the ending is just so worth it.

The story is so good, and who Gremory is you would literally never suspect. When it was revealed who Gremory was and how he was able to create Gremoryland is so fucking mind boggling that you would never guess. I had to do a double take. It wasn’t like one of those random characters with a vendetta type of twists, but like one you can pick out from clues throughout the story.

Its so good and twisted and just so worth at least giving it a chance.

-

These were some of my favorite webtoons on the app! Of course it’s not all of them because unfortunately there is a 10 image limit. I also made this because I’ve run out of new webtoons to read and would love if you guys commented some of your own recs. I can also do a part two with other ones I liked if y’all want more recommendations. You guys can even request specific categories like Drama or Sci-Fi and I can tell you my favorite ones from that genre.

Also a reminder - if you disagree with any of my praise of these webtoons be respectful about it. At the end of the day it’s my opinion and you don’t need to be rude when disagreeing with that opinion.

#webtoon #Your Throne #the makeup remover #surviving romance #the remarried empress #witch creek road #dating with a tail #omniscient reader's viewpoint #omniscient reader #not so shoujo love story #odd girl out #gremory land #webtoon recommendation #webtoon review #comics #web novel #romance #horror #action #comedy

[phantom-curve]

For @panickosdisordr2, set in a high school AU where everyone is alive, I give you absolutely flustered Luke and poor, sweet, long-suffering Julie.

#38: stroking their leg & #41: sitting close and knees touching

Luke was still getting used to the fact that being Julie’s boyfriend meant he didn’t have to be so nervous about touching her anymore. For so long he had been forced to overthink every single interaction with her, needing to constantly toe the line of friendship even when he wanted so much more. Every touch, every lingering glance, had to be just this side of friendly. And no, he wasn’t always successful. Quite often his glances lingered a beat too long and his touches came close to being more proprietary than he had any right acting as a friend. Luke had made a list of rules to keep himself in check and he repeated them over and over before, during, and after he spent time with Julie.

Rule #1: No looking at Julie for longer than 30 60 seconds.

(30 seconds had been the goal, but who was he kidding? Julie was a freaking wrecking ball of musical talent and wickedly beautiful. 45 seconds was the absolute minimum he could handle, and even that was kind of pushing it.)

Rule #2: No writing blatantly obvious songs about Julie.

(Because really, every song was about Julie. But Julie didn’t need to know every song was about her. And Alex and Reggie really, really didn’t need to know, and no, just because they guessed didn’t mean they knew.)

Rule #3: No looking at Julie’s lips unless there was a microphone between them.

(He barely managed this one, which was why he kept sharing the mic with her more and more the longer they practiced and the more comfortable they became preforming together. It was the best kind of torture, and it wasn’t creepy, Alex, pay attention to drumming and not front people stuff!)

Rule #4: No touching Julie except for her shoulders and her arms and her waist (but only if they were hugging!)

(So what if Luke made sure to hug Julie a lot. He was a touchy-feely kind of guy, everyone knew that, and he only hugged someone after making sure they were okay with it. Julie never pushed him away, in fact she seemed to like the fact that he was so open with affection and comfort. It was fine.)

But dating Julie meant that all of those rules went right out the window. And Luke was still figuring out how to navigate that.

Julie didn’t seem to have any problems on her end. She slipped seamlessly from best friend to girlfriend without missing a beat. She would lean into him when they sat next to each other during lunch and move his hair out of his face without hesitation as she gazed into his eyes with a million stars dancing in her own. Her touch was casual but affectionate, her fingertips almost always finding some patch of skin to skim across whenever he was within arm’s reach. She kissed her way along his skin with an enviable ease, never holding back because she wasn’t sure he would like it, but instead blazing a path along his cheek or his collarbone or molding her lips against his as if she had always known that was what he so desperately desired most in the world.

Luke would never tell her, but part of his hesitation was because he felt wholly undeserving of her unwavering devotion. What had he ever done to earn someone as bright and beautiful as Julie Molina? He knew if he told her, she would have a million and one reasons why he was wrong, so he mostly kept it to himself and reveled in her easy affection every chance that he got. He should have known that eventually she would call him out on it.

“Luke...do you...not want me to touch you?”

He just hadn’t expected her to ask like that.

They were working on a new song out in the studio, a place Julie had chosen that he had assumed was because she didn’t want Carlos bothering them and because they had easier access to their instruments out there. They were sharing the couch, sitting across from each other with a shared notebook open between them, offering different lyric ideas back and forth as they tried to nail down the right lines. Luke hadn’t even realized that Julie had slowly been moving closer. He had only registered the feeling of their knees brushing occasionally, skin touching skin because his jeans were ripped, and she was wearing a pair of shorts to combat the stifling LA heat. Every time she had leaned in, he had leaned back, his years long set of rules so engrained he had forgotten that he didn’t have to follow them anymore. It was only when Julie quietly posed her question, teeth peeking out to bite down on her lower lip, cute little top gap flashing at him and reminding him that she was his girlfriend now, that he realized what he had been doing.

“Julie, no, of course I want you to touch me!”

Luke felt himself flush from head to toe as he realized how his words had sounded. He scrambled forwards, knocking their knees together painfully, although Julie, to her credit, didn’t even flinch. He took a deep, stuttering breath and tried again.

“I didn’t...I wasn’t trying to move away from you. I just...sometimes I forget I get to do that now.”

Julie quirked a brow and tilted her head slightly. Luke wanted to scratch his eyeballs out so he never had to see her looking so hurt and confused again. He groaned, reaching behind his head to give his hair a soft tug, recentering himself in the moment. He forced himself to meet Julie’s gaze and explain in a way that would actually make sense. He also made sure to scoot forward a bit so that their kneecaps were firmly pressed together, skin to skin.

“I just...for so long I wanted to be able to touch you in any way and have it be totally normal and okay.”

The words weren’t flowing perfectly, and Luke cursed the fact that Julie was able to scramble his brains and mess with the one thing he had always felt confident in. He pushed on though, because this was Julie, and if anyone was going to understand him, it was her.

“But I didn’t...I couldn’t...we weren’t like that, you know? We were friends and yeah, I love my friends, and I hug my friends, and I’m affectionate with them or whatever, but with you it was...different. I didn’t want to just be friends. But I also didn’t know what you wanted, and more than not wanting to just be friends, I didn’t want to not be a friend, so I made these rules. Rules about how I couldn’t say too much or do too much or touch you too much because it would mean more to me than it would to you and that wasn’t fair. And then everything changed, and you liked me too, and now we’re like a freaking dream, like I don’t always believe it kinda dream, and so I fall back on the rules. Because what if I say too much or do too much or touch you too much and I ruin everything?”

That...was a lot more than he had meant to say. But Julie wasn’t looking at him with judgement in her gaze. Her eyes were gentle and warm, her lips parting almost as if she was in awe, her features softening completely. She reached forward, slowly and deliberately, to place her hands along his thighs, just above where their knees were still touching. She leaned in, the pressure of her hands strong and steady, her scent invading his senses until everything in his world shrunk down to nothing more than JulieJulieJulie.

“You could never say or do too much. And you 100% could never touch me too much. Do you know how long I waited for you? Do you know how many rules I tried to come up with, how many nights I told myself over and over again that I needed to just get over you because it was never gonna happen? How many times I was so sure I was going to ruin the band and our friendship because I was so stupidly in love with you and nothing I did could stop it?”

Luke was having a hard time remembering how to breathe. He hadn’t ever thought about any of that. Because Julie had always seemed so confident and self-assured. She had been the one to make the first move that turned them from friends to more. She had been the one to confess how she felt first. She had always been his safety net, taking the plunge before he could, reassuring him so that when he stepped off the ledge, he knew she would be there to catch him.

“God, I love you so much,” his words were fierce and intense as he touched his forehead to hers and whispered them into the small space between their lips. “What the hell would I do without you?”

“Well, you’d probably still be trying to figure out the bridge and ending to Edge of Great without me.”

Luke growled and lunged forward, tackling Julie to the couch, and smothering her shriek beneath his lips. He felt her mouth curve into a smile, the kiss turning sloppy as she giggled uncontrollably. Her hands wound around his shoulders, twisting into the hair along the nape of his neck and threatening to turn him boneless against her. He broke away, propping himself up on his forearms so that his body remained stretched out along hers as he stared down at her.

“I can’t believe I get to be with you. You promise it’s not a dream?”

“If you’re dreaming, I’m dreaming. And I don’t think we can actually share dreams no matter how much we love each other. So, you’d better believe it, babe. I’m yours, forever.”

That did turn Luke boneless, every inch of his being melting down on top of hers, so they were connected from head to toe. Julie didn’t protest. She just pulled him closer, whispered you’ll always be mine against the skin of his neck, her breath hot and spellbinding against his skin. Luke didn’t argue. Who could argue with a goddess like Julie and expect to win? The best prize of all was knowing she loved him just as deeply as he loved her; he wasn’t about to try and convince her otherwise.

If Luke was able to love Julie for the rest of her life, it wouldn’t be nearly long enough for him to show her how much he cared. But that’s what ever afters were made for, right? A lifetime and then some. Luke knew with every fiber of his being that he would love Julie far past the time their respective stars burned out. That’s what destinies were all about. Loving forever and ever and ever. Even after you thought you were gone, the legacy lived on, timeless and unbreakable. That was them. Forever and a day, no end in sight for the rest of eternity.

#I'm on a soft Juke train tonight and I cannot be stopped #choo choo motherfuckers #THEY JUST LOVE EACH OTHER OKAY #will I ever write Luke without making him insecure in the face of Julie's incredibility? probably not #mads writes #jatp #julie and the phantoms #juke #jukebox #jatp ficlet #juke ficlet #julie molina #luke patterson #send me prompts for my birthday!

[all-the-kpop-imagines]

BTS Scenario || You Find Out They Were Nominated For A Grammy

HELLO!! In honor of BTS being nominated for a Grammy, I’ve decided to make a drabble thing where you, an American, are their significant other and you get told that they are nominated for a Grammy. 

Hope you enjoy!!!

>>>Admin JiHyeon<<<

JIN:

It was round 2 o’clock in the morning and you woke up to an empty bed beside you. Only a few hours ago Jin had been asleep alongside you and now he was gone. With an eyebrow raised, you climbed out of the bed and slipped on your slippers before making your way from the room and toward the living area of the apartment. The kitchen light was on and it illuminated the living room. Sitting on the couch with the biggest smile on his face was Jin. 

“Jin-ah? Are you okay?” You asked him and he glanced up at you when you spoke. He nodded and stood, making his way over to you. 

“I’m great, jagi. More than great actually,” he chuckled and wrapped his arms around you, picking you up and spinning you. A giggle left your throat and you held onto him as he spun the two of you.

“You’re in a good mood,” you smiled as he set you down. “What’s got you so happy?”

“Dynamite was nominated for a Grammy jagi!” He exclaimed and you felt a sudden wave of excitement wash over you upon his words.

“Oh my god that is amazing! That is so exciting! I’m so proud of you jagi!” You screamed with a laugh before you wrapped your arms around him and kissed him. This was something he has wanted for a long time and now that it was happening, you were probably the proudest you’ve ever been of him and to call him yours.

“You’ll be my date to the show right?” He asked suddenly and you giggled but nodded nonetheless.

SUGA:

You were curled up in his side as the two of you laid on his bed at his parent’s house. Neither of you were sleeping. He was on his phone and the room was quiet as you laid there. You were slowly finding yourself slipping from consciousness listening to his calm heartbeat and his rhythmic breathing. Suddenly he sat up excited, forcing you to roll off his chest and onto the pillow.

“What’s going on?” You asked him as he chuckled to himself.

“I wish I was in Seoul right now,” he said, the smile on his face not faltering at all. You raised your eyebrow as you sat up and ran your hand up and down his arm.

“Why? You look like a serial killer right now,” you chuckled and he turned his head to look at you.

“BTS was nominated for a Grammy y/n!” He exclaimed and it took a second but when the realization hit you, your eyes widened and you wrapped your arms around him.

“That’s amazing Yoongi!” You said before you covered his face in kisses. He was giggling himself the entire time before he wrapped his uninjured arm around you.

“This just proves it,” he started and you looked at him.

“Proves what?” You asked and he smirked.

“That what I want, I get,” he said and you rolled your eyes.

“You just have really good luck, don’t get get pompous,” you smacked his shoulder playfully. 

“I’ve got to call the members, share my excitement,” he said as he climbed off of the bed and dialed a phone number. You watched him fondly, proud and excited for him and his band. This was something they had wanted for years now, and you had a good feeling that they would win. 

JHOPE:

The apartment was silent as you were curled up on your couch. It had been a boring few weeks since you had flown back to America to be with your family during these uncertain times. Being a nurse meant your family was constantly calling you at all hours of the day when you were in Korea, so you chose to fly back to help ease their worries. You had just gotten home from an overnight shift at the hospital and you were exhausted, but you had to get some things done around your house and you were meeting your mom for lunch at 1pm, which was in about two hours. 

You knew that today was the day that the Recording Academy were announcing the nominations for the Grammys. The livestream was up on your TV as you pulled your blanket up to your chest and held your coffee in your hand. You looked up as they were announcing the nominees for Best Pop Group Performance. The second they said Dynamite by BTS, you jumped off the couch and your cup of coffee was thrown over your hardwood floors, but you didn’t care about the mess. Immediately you dialed Hoseok’s number and put your phone to your ear. As you waited, you danced around your living room excitedly.

“Jagi!” He answered and you laughed.

“I am so proud of you!” You exclaimed and heard him let out a laugh.

“So you heard?” He asked and you snorted at him.

 “Of course I did. I’m sitting in my living room with the live stream on my TV,” you told him and he was quiet for a second before you heard a sniffle on the other end. “Hobi-ah? Is everything okay?” You asked him, concerned.

“I’m fine, yeah. Just really happy. This is something we have wanted for so long,” he said quietly and you smiled to yourself.

“It is and you got it. I’m sorry I’m not there to celebrate with you, but I’m gonna have a glass of wine and blast Dynamite when I get back after lunch with my mom,” you told him and heard him chuckle.

“Facetime me when you do, it’ll be nice to see your face while you celebrate,” he told you and you nodded.

“Anything for you Hobi-ah,” you said as you sat back down on the couch. 

RM:

You sat in your shared apartment with Namjoon, waiting for him to come home. Though you knew that it wouldn’t be for a while since the Grammy nominations were being announced today. After showering you pulled on one of Namjoon’s shirts and grabbed your phone before sitting down on the couch. As you were making yourself comfortable, your phone started ringing, signalling you were being facetimed. When you saw Namjoon’s face you smiled and answered.

“Hello aein,” you told him and he smiled at you.

“I was going to wait to call until after we got the news but I couldn’t wait,” he chuckled nervously and scratched the back of his neck.

“It’s fine, I just got done with a shower and now I’m sitting in the living room,” you smiled at him. “You think you guys got the nod?” He stared at you and shrugged.

“I hope so but if we don’t, it’s not the end  of the world,” he said and you nodded. Then you fell quiet and watched him as he glanced away from the screen, nervous. You watched his face for a moment silently before you watched  him jump up and suddenly his phone was tossed onto the couch and there was screaming and laughing on the other end.

“Joonie? Everything okay?” You asked and waited for a response. After a few moments of silence, you called out again. “Namjoon, hey, what’s going on?” A second or two later his phone was picked up and you saw Namjoon’s face with the biggest smile spread across it.

“We got a nomination!” He exclaimed and you smiled at him.

“That’s amazing aein! Congrats, tell the others I’m proud of you guys,” you told him and he smiled at you with a nod.

“I’ll be home soon jagi, and don’t think I didn’t notice you wearing my shirt,” he smirked at you and you raised your eyebrows and smirked back at him. That was the plan after all.

JIMIN:

You sighed as you fastened the last button on your work uniform and pulled the hat on your head. Your shift started in a little over an hour but the drive was 45 minutes. From the hallway you heard your mom walk past, humming to herself. Your dad was downstairs making breakfast for the three of you. Another sigh left your chest as you left your room and headed downstairs. 

“Has that boyfriend of yours called you today yet?” Your dad’s voice sounded when you entered the kitchen.

“Not yet but he’s busy,” you shrugged and sat down at the counter.

“Aren’t the Grammy nominations being announced today?” Your mom asked as she walked into the room with you.

“Yeah but I, sadly, doubt that they will get nominated, America isn’t exactly accepting of other countries or music,” you sighed and your mom shrugged.

“I heard that they have a chance. Wouldn’t hurt to check it out, maybe call Jimin?” She suggested and you nodded before pulling out your phone and doing a quick Google search. Suddenly your eyes widened and you screeched. 

“Oh my god! They were nominated for Best Pop Group Performance!” You said excitedly and your mom patted your shoulder.

“Told you they had a chance. Go call that boyfriend of yours and make sure he knows and isn’t sleeping,” she told you and you immediately pulled up his number and FaceTime’d him. It rang for a few seconds before his face appeared on the screen, a smile on his face.

“So you heard?” You asked before even saying hi.

“Yeah, Namjoon-hyung, Taehyung, and Jungkookie are here with me. We watched the livestream. I’m so happy,” he rambled and you smiled softly at him.

“I’m so proud of you! I’ll be watching the Grammy’s from California on the day of, don’t you worry. I’ll take the day off just to devote my whole attention to it,” you told him and he chuckled.

“Well, we got the nomination so, even if we don’t win, it’s an accomplishment,” he said and you stared at him for a moment.

“Look at you being excited but still remaining humble,” you chuckled.

“This is something we’ve wanted for a long time, if only Yoongi-hyung were here to celebrate with us,” he sighed.

“Yoongi-ssi is probably losing his mind in Daegu right now,” you reassured him.

“Probably,” he smiled and leaned back on the couch. It warmed your heart to see him so happy after this year of negativity.

V:

The Emergency Department floor was quiet as you sat at the intake desk with your favorite co-worker. Your shift at the hospital started about 6 hours ago and you 6 more to go. The salad you brought was sitting in front of you as you had your head leaned back on the chair and spun.

“Become a nurse, they said. It’ll be fun, they said. Did they forget to mention that it’s like deader than dead most of the time?” Your coworker complained and you looked at her.

“I mean at least we can relax for a bit,” you said and she nodded.

“So, how’s you and Taehyung doing?” She asked and you smiled.

“Good, he hates that I’m doing my residency in America and not Korea but we are good,” you chuckled as you took a bite of your salad.

“How’s he handling the whole Covid situation on the entertainment business?” She asked you and you sighed.

“He is bored a lot of the time but we also FaceTime a lot,” you smiled and got quiet as your coworker scrolled on her phone. Suddenly she let out a snort and leaned over to you.

“Seems like your boyfriend isn’t happy about the nod,” she said and you furrowed your eyebrows and grabbed her phone. You watched the video that BTS tweeted out and watched Tae’s reaction, or rather lack thereof.

“What the heck?” You chuckled and pulled out your own phone to text him. A moment later and you felt your phone vibrating. You let out a chuckle when you saw his name trying to facetime you. 

“Hey,” you answered it and he looked confused.

“What was with that text?” He asked.

“What was with your lack of reaction to being nominated for a Grammy?” You asked him and he raised an eyebrow.

“What?” He asked and you switched the camera around to show him the video off of your coworkers phone.

“Oh, I was surprised. Didn’t expect to be nominated,” he shrugged.

“Oh come on, you guys have wanted this for like ever!” You exclaimed and he shrugged.

“Yeah but it’s also 2 in the morning here,” he said and you nodded.

“You get a pass, this time but I expect a full reaction once you’ve gotten sleep okay?” You asked him and he nodded. It sucked that you couldn’t be there with him to celebrate this accomplishment but you were proud of him nonetheless.

JUNGKOOK:

You sat quietly behind where the camera was positioned so that you weren’t seen, watching Jungkook as he sat on the couch. When he had told you that he was going to the dorm to watch the Grammy nomination live stream with his hyungs, you tagged along, not wanting to sleep alone. But now it was 2 in the morning and you were tired and cold. The blanket you stole from Jungkook’s room at the dorm only helped a small amount. You glanced up when you heard Namjoon say something about the live stream starting. Jungkook was happily sitting there, staring at you as they began naming off nominees. As the categories went on and BTS wasn’t mentioned, you felt discouraged. But then you heard them mention Dynamite and you nearly fell off your chair from both your own excitement and from being startled by their screams. 

“We did it!” Jungkook exclaimed excitedly and you smiled at him. The camera was still rolling so you knew you couldn’t say anything but then after a minute or two, Jungkook got off the couch and walked over to you, wrapping his arms around you tightly.

“Congratulations Kookie,” you said to him with a smile.

“Thanks jagi,” he smiled before kissing your nose.

“Guys, this is such a big step for our careers,” Namjoon said and you smiled over at the leader.

“Someone call Suga-hyung,” Jimin said and Namjoon nodded before he pulled his phone out and left the room.

“Where’s your normal excitement y/n?” Jimin asked and you looked at him.

“It is 230 in the morning, it’s asleep,” you chuckled and he nodded.

“I forget you’re not used to being up this late,” he teased you.

“I’m up this late a lot but usually it’s cause I’m in my own home and watching a movie or getting lost on the internet,” you smiled and he rolled his eyes.

“You Gen Z kids and your internet,” he joked and you almost threw something at him.

“I am not Gen Z, I am a 90s baby, so, you can suck it,” you said back and Jungkook rubbed your shoulder.

“Okay kids, let’s calm down. I should get this one home anyways, I’ll see you guys later for schedule!” Jungkook called out as you stood and the two of you left the dorm, heading home.

#bts #bangtan sonyeondan #bts scenarios #bts reactions #bts fanfiction #bts imagines #jin #jin scenarios #jin reactions #jin fanfiction #jin imagines #suga #suga imagines #suga fanfiction #suga scenarios #suga reactions #jhope imagines #jhope fanfiction #jhope scenarios #jhope reactions #rm #rm imagines #rm fanfiction #rm scenarios #rm reactions #taehyung #taehyung imagines #taehyung scenarios #taehyun reactions #taehyung fanfiction

[astrognossienne]

scandalous star: canada lee - an analysis

“My main desire is to help win better roles for people of my race, and [to win] a better understanding of people of my race. I want to do things to repair the wrong impressions that have grown up through the years.” - Canada Lee

Canada Lee led a remarkable life that defied comprehension. In his heyday, he was second only to his friend Paul Robeson as the best Black actor on Broadway. A former jockey, violinist, orchestra leader, and boxer before settling down to acting in 1936, he became a passionate actor at a time when blacks were supposed to be amusing...nobody ever forgot seeing him as the punch-drunk fighter in the film  Body and Soul. He mentored Sidney Poitier, collaborated with Orson Welles and Alfred Hitchcock, worked with playwright Eugene O’Neill, acting coaches Lee Strasburg and Stella Adler and was friends with cultural luminaries like Robeson, Charlie Chaplin, Langston Hughes, and Adam Clayton Powell, Jr. But his outspokenness on social justice issues landed him on the blacklist and that, in addition to his health problems, cut Lee’s career short, and his insistence on only accepting roles where he was treated with dignity made it difficult for him to get movie roles. Lee died in 1952 at the age of 45 and remains all but forgotten. Despite his unjustly forgotten contributions to film, Lee’s influence is still felt in our communities today. In 1940, H. Jack Geiger, at the age of fourteen, left his middle-class Jewish home and knocked on the door of a black actor named Canada Lee. He asked Lee if he could move in with him. Lee said yes, and in Lee's Harlem apartment, Geiger spent a year with many of the great figures of the Harlem renaissance. Lee also loans Geiger money for college. Later, the kid becomes a Civil Rights activist, goes on to found Physicians for Human Rights, creates the first US community health center, eventually leading to 1000 in America alone. Through his own life and the lives of those he touched along the way, he accomplished so much. It shouldn’t be forgotten.

Canada Lee, according to astrotheme, was a Pisces sun and Libra moon (the moon is speculative). He was born Lionel Cornelius Canegata, the son of James and Lydia Lee and a boyhood friend of future congressional representative Adam Clayton Powell Jr. Lee studied concert piano in his youth. After seven years of serious study, he ran away without warning  at the age of 14 upstate to Saratoga Springs, where he worked as a professional jockey for two years. After dropping out of eighth grade to pursue a life as a jockey, Lee became disenchanted with his life so he took up professional boxing. In 1923 he began boxing at the amateur level, and turned pro in 1926. In December 1925, Lee married Juanita Waller. He fought as a welterweight until 1931. It was the fight game that gave him his professional handle; at one amateur match, fight announcer Joe Humphries saw the name "Canagata, Lee" on the card he was using. He tossed the card aside and instead announced "Canada Lee"—a name that Lee liked and adopted. The fight game also gave him his distinctive injured eye, one of his trademarks in his future career, and he was forced to retire from boxing due to that devastating injury, which left him blind in that eye. Lee dusted off his musical skills and started a jazz band, which performed at theatres and nightclubs in the early ’30s. When an old friend, sportswriter (and later famous variety show host) Ed Sullivan, plugged him in his new entertainment column, Lee and his group began landing better engagements. He also briefly operated his own jazz club, “The Jitterbug”, which lasted about six months. 

In 1934, Lee began acting when his friend suggested he do a reading, and soon found himself protecting a young maverick director named Orson Welles, with whom he formed a lifelong friendship. Welles would later become an important director and advocate for the American Negro Theatre (ANT) and black performers. After touring the five boroughs of New York City with a community theatre production called Brother Mose, he was hired to replace another black actor, Rex Ingram, in the Broadway production of Stevedore, which also toured to other cities. After a short-lived comedy called Sailor, Beware (1935), he was hired by Welles to play Banquo in his landmark Harlem production of Voodoo MacBeth (1936) The relationship later bore fruit when the director hired Lee again to play Bigger Thomas in the original stage adaptation of Richard Wrights novel Native Son (1941, 1942-43). Lee became a star overnight in this, his ultimate stage success, and soon Hollywood took notice. In 1934, Lee began a love affair with publisher and peace activist Caresse Crosby, despite the threat of miscegenation laws. He and his wife later separated and divorced. In 1939, Lee appeared in his first film, the boxing themed race picture Keep Punching. In 1940 he was hired to host the CBS musical radio show Flow Gently, Sweet Rhythm. Perhaps Lee's best known film role was in Alfred Hitchcock's Lifeboat (1944), in which he played ship's steward Joe Spencer, one of 8 men and women who survive the sinking of the freighter carrying them from New York to London and are joined in their lifeboat by a survivor of the crew of the U-boat that destroyed their vessel. According to a news item, Lee was the first actor cast for the film. In 1946, Lee played a principal role in On Whitman Avenue, a drama about racial prejudice directed by Margo Jones. Lee produced the play, making him the first African-American producer on Broadway.

In the autumn of 1946, Lee made American theatre history when he portrayed the villain Daniel de Bosola in John Webster's The Duchess of Malfi. Presented in Boston and on Broadway, the production marked the first time a black actor had played a white role on the stage. Lee wore a special white paste that had been used medically, to cover burns and marks, but had never before been used in the theatre. He acted on radio regularly through the rest of the decade, and opened another jazz club and restaurant. Meanwhile, Lee became an activist, spoke to schools, sponsored various humanitarian events, and began speaking directly against the existing segregation in America's armed forces. These activities were seen as “communist” and soon he was blacklisted, which prevented him from getting any work. At the height of the Hollywood blacklist, Lee managed to find work in 1950 as the star of a British film Cry, The Beloved Country, for which both he and his co-star Sidney Poitier were smuggled into South Africa as indentured servants in order to play their roles as African ministers. During filming, Lee had his first heart attack, and he never fully recovered his health. In March 1951, Lee married Frances Pollack. They remained together until he died just over a year later from the complications of his previous heart attack as well as uremia and kidney disease. His son from his first marriage, Carl Lee, also became an actor. Carl suffered a heroin addiction that caused him to contract AIDS from a dirty hypodermic needle, which led to his death by overdose in 1986 at the age of 59.

Next, I focus on the most beautiful and successful black female entertainer of the classic Hollywood era. The gorgeous, glamorous, and iconic Cancer Lena Horne.

STATS

birthdate: March 3, 1907*

*note*: due to the absence of a birth time, this analysis will be even more speculative

major planets:

Sun: Pisces

Moon: Libra

Rising: unknown

Mercury: Pisces

Venus: Capricorn

Mars: Sagittarius

Midheaven: unknown

Jupiter: Cancer

Saturn: Pisces

Uranus: Capricorn

Neptune: Cancer

Pluto: Gemini

Overall personality snapshot: He had a conciliatory, tender, unworldly sort of personality, loving beauty and beautiful ideas as much as he abhorred injustice and ugliness. He exuded a wistful, intangible glamour, as if he was king or queen of the forest fairies incarnate, come to entice clumsy mortals to a place exquisitely serene and joyful. He was therefore essentially of an artistic temperament, very intuitive, ethereal, emotionally fragile, but opportunistic and resilient as well. Terrifically sympathetic and agreeable, he was also receptive and understanding, romantic and sensuous, easy-going and somewhat self-sacrificing due to his very strong need for relationships. He loved people, especially witty and fascinating people who stimulated him, and he really came alive at parties or in refined artistic or literary gatherings. Flirtatious and loquacious, he could be a warm, considerate, generous companion, and whether it is romantic or platonic, he brought a touch of elegance and dignity to all his dealings with others. A natural diplomat, he knew how to get the best out of people. Sometimes he was not sure whether he was an intellectual or an artist, but he was one of those people who should always trust their inner hunches rather than dissect and analyze them to the point of confusion. Powerful feelings and intuitions could wash over him, and his need to express them was strong, be it through poetry, music, dance, theatre or social service. His mind was clear and balanced, he could see objectives and soar with ideas, and his instinct was to communicate his inner world effectively and eloquently.

He needed the input and encouragement of other people, and could work well with them. If, however, he tried to intellectualize too much, he may vacillate and lose his confidence, thus halting the creative flow which is so essential for his well-being. At his heart of hearts he was deeply emotional, inspired by a profound reverential love for truth and an intuitive understanding of what is important in life. He wanted to combine intellect and feeling in whatever he did. His exceptional adaptability and sensitivity to group needs meant he could work well as a group facilitator of some kind. But this personal talent was even stronger when it was balanced by a firm sense of self and healthy boundaries, which is something he may have had to work on. He had so much flowing flexibility and such a deep desire for social harmony that he could easily lose touch with his own needs and instinctive responses. He winced painfully if anyone looked at him cross-eyed; conflict was anathema to his emotional nature and threw him off-beam, as if it were a very tangible karate chop. When he could learn to deal effectively with self-doubt, his creativity began to flow. The theatre was a natural environment for him, where he could express his many-sided, sensitive personality with flair and feeling. Likewise the caring professions may have attracted him, as people inspired him and he enjoyed receiving insights from others. He was forever learning, open to the magic of life, and his innocence, elegance and vulnerability helped him to create a world of beauty and delight.

He was intuitive and artistic and, at times, over-sensitive. He could also be a little secretive. He had many levels. It really depended on his mood as to how well his thought processes operated. He needed love and emotion, and his sense of compassion led him to help others, as he was very protective. However he could sink down into the depths of self-pity at times, although normally he was of good humour. He didn’t react well to a hostile and competitive environment, in fact he preferred to stick to private endeavours where he could protect himself. He was quick to go on the defensive, rather than the offensive, when dealing with adversaries and adverse situations. He had a strong sense of purpose and was very sincere. His shyness often prevented him from expressing himself properly, and he put great emphasis on emotional self-control, which made him more vulnerable than usual. At times, he was his own worst enemy, because he relived past errors over and over again, which gave him a negative outlook on life. He could be hypersensitive and moody, needing quiet and solitude.

He belonged to a generation with a rational and logical attitude to life. There was a conflict between tradition and convention, and the experimental and unconventional. As an individual, he had to learn to strike a balance between the erratic and the conventional. As a member of his generation, he had the ability to come up with original ideas which could be of practical value. Members of his generation were emotionally sensitive and extremely conscious of the domestic environment and the atmosphere surrounding their home place. Also, as a member of the Cancer Neptune generation, he felt a degree of escapism from everyday reality, and was very sensitive to the moods of those around him. Lee embodied all of these Cancer Neptunian ideals. As a Gemini Plutonian, he was mentally restless and willing to examine and change old doctrines, ideas and ways of thinking. As a member of this generation, he showed an enormous amount of mental vitality, originality and perception. Traditional customs and taboos were examined and rejected for newer and more original ways of doing things. As opportunities with education expanded, he questioned more and learned more. As a member of this generation, having more than one occupation at a time would not have been unusual to him.      

Love/sex life:  He was a serious dreamer who looked for more from love than an unorganized play date. He needed to be perceived as dependable, even self-sacrificing by the person he loved. The problem was that, despite the promises he made and the very real obligations he felt toward his lover, he still had that Sagittarian Martian yearning for freedom and independence. Working out a compromise between these conflicting desires was difficult but he was too serious about his relationships not to find a way. He was usually forced to accept a degree of dissatisfaction in his sex life. The sex that satisfied his considerable physical drives likely left the idealistic side of his sexual nature feeling unfulfilled while the relationships that answered his desire for purity and innocence left his physical side feeling denied. Looking for satisfaction in both realms could have involved living a double life or, at least, telling a lot of lies. So the only option left open for him was often committing himself fully to one side and taking what he could get for the other.

minor asteroids and points:

North Node: Leo

Lilith: Gemini

Juno: Scorpio

Chiron: Aquarius

Vesta: Aries

Ceres: Gemini

Pallas: Aries

Vertex: Scorpio

Fortune: Aquarius

East Point: Gemini

His North Node in Leo dictated that he needed to downplay his more anarchic and unpredictable aspects and turn his attention to developing his personal authority and allowing himself to show more warmth. His Lilith in Gemini ensured that he was dangerously attracted to women with a kaleidoscopic psyche who were wily, witty, and able to best anyone in a debate and weren’t above flirting, cajoling, wiring, and talking their way to the top. Vertex in Scorpio, 5th house dictated that he had a desire or continual need for feeling irresistible and irreplaceable on all levels of intimacy, whether spiritual, intellectual, emotional, or physical. From the fires of hell to the heights of heaven, the further and deeper the range of interaction he could experience with another the more fulfilling. He had a childlike orientation, in all of its manifestations, toward relationships on an internal level. That implicit trust, or perhaps naivete, that was instilled in his childhood persisted far into maturity. The concomitant explosions and occasional tantrums when these constructs were violated also accompany this position. He had a need for fun, creativity, and excitement in a committed relationship, no matter how many years it has endured. He often had deep fears, typical of children, of abandonment, as well as a need for universal acceptance, no matter how he acted, which he needed his partner to respect and nurture, rather than rebuke, especially in adulthood. Juno in Scorpio, he brought a strong sense of fairness and sensitivity to obligations. He liked to keep things private. Strong, silent mates appealed to him. This placement is difficult for open communication.

Chiron in Aquarius, he often felt wounded because it was hard for him to connect, it was also very difficult to make friends and build his emotional support net. He truly wanted to belong in a group and be surrounded by people, but he also felt disconnected. Vesta in Aries, he had a powerful drive for perfection. He usually made sacrifices for causes he believed were important. He initiated work for religious and humanitarian projects. Action came from a desire to improve every situation. There was a great deal of insecurity in self-evaluation. Ceres in Gemini, he had a thoughtfulness concerning life sustaining acts. He is someone who talked about ecology and health foods. He adhered to the theory of live and let live. A natural teacher, he sometimes worked with disabled children and youth. He was quick to lend a helping hand to friend and neighbour alike. Pallas in Aries, he had the desire to start more projects than he could physically complete. A drive to pioneer, especially in the creation of new and unusual hand-crafts, led him into innovative hobbies and careers. There may have been enough mental pressure to cause strain. Her Part of Fortune in Aquarius and Part of Spirit in Leo dictated destiny led him to a prominent position in life as a leader of some sort. Fame and prestige brought him success and material rewards. Success came to him when she stepped forward into the spotlight. His soul’s purpose asked him to embrace unique and unconventional life experiences. He felt spiritual connections and the spark of the divine when there was a humanitarian benefit to his efforts. East Point in Gemini dictated that he was often insatiably curious and loved to collect little bits of (what seems to be useless) information and trivia. His interests were quite varied, and he may have been somewhat scattered. Sometimes his curiosity could appear cold and callous as his level of objectivity was potentially high. There was usually an openness to learning in any situation.

elemental dominance:

water

earth

He had high sensitivity and elevation through feelings. His heart and his emotions were his driving forces, and he couldn’t do anything on earth if he didn’t feel a strong effective charge. He needed to love in order to understand, and to feel in order to take action, which caused a certain vulnerability which he should (and often did) fight against. He was a practical, reliable man and could provide structure and protection. He was oriented toward practical experience and thought in terms doing rather than thinking, feeling, or imagining. Could be materialistic, unimaginative, and resistant to change. But at his best, he provided the practical resources, analysis, and leadership to make dreams come true.

modality dominance:

cardinal

He was happiest when he was doing anything new, and he loved to begin new ventures. He enjoyed the challenge of claiming territory. He tended to be an initiator—and a bit territorial as well. Also, he had a tendency to start more things than he could possibly finish.

house dominants:

10th

12th

1st

His ambition in relation to the outside world, the identity he wished to achieve in regard to the community at large, and his career aspirations were all themes that were emphasized throughout his life. All matters outside the home, his public image and reputation were very important to him. His attitude to people in authority, and how he viewed the outside world, as well as the influence of his mother and his own attitude to her was highlighted. He had great interest in the unconscious, and indulged in a lot of hidden and secret affairs. His life was defined by seclusion and escapism. He had a certain mysticism and hidden sensitivity, as well as an intense need for privacy. His personality, disposition and temperament is highlighted in his life. The manner in which he expressed himself and the way he approached other people is also highlighted. The way he approached new situations and circumstances contributed to show how he set about his life’s goals. The general state of his health is also shown, as well as his early childhood experiences defining the rest of his life.

planet dominants:

Neptune

Saturn

Sun

He was of a contemplative nature, particularly receptive to ambiances, places, and people. He gladly cultivated the art of letting go, and allowed the natural unfolding of events to construct her world. He followed his inspirations, for better or for worse. He believed in the fact that lessons in life were sometimes harsh, that structure and foundation was a great issue in his life, and he had to be taught through through experience what he needed in order to grow. He paid attention to limitations he had and had to learn the rules of the game in this physical reality. He tended to have a practical, prudent outlook. He also likely held rigid beliefs. He had vitality and creativity, as well as a strong ego and was authoritarian and powerful. He had vitality and creativity, as well as a strong ego and was authoritarian and powerful. He likely had strong leadership qualities, he definitely knew who he was, and he had tremendous will. He met challenges and believed in expanding his life. He believed and practiced dynamic expression.

sign dominants:

Pisces

Capricorn

Cancer

He needed to explore his world through his emotions. He felt things so deeply that quite often he became a kind of psychic sponge, absorbing the emotions of people around him. As such, he gravitated toward the arts, in general, to theater and film specifically. He could be ambivalent and indecisive simply because he was so impressionable. He also tended to be moody because he felt the very height of joy and the utter depths of despair. Love and romance were essential for him. These fulfilled him emotionally, and he generally flourished within stable relationships. He was a serious-minded person who often seemed aloof and tightly in control of his emotions and his personal domain. Even as a youngster, there was a mature air about him, as if he was born with a profound core that few outsiders ever see. He was easily impressed by outward signs of success, but was interested less in money than in the power that money represents. He was a true worker—industrious, efficient, and disciplined. His innate common sense gave him the ability to plan ahead and to work out practical ways of approaching goals. More often than not, he succeeded at whatever she set out to do. He possessed a quiet dignity that was unmistakable. At first meeting, he seemed enigmatic, elusive. He needed roots, a place or even a state of mind that he could call his own. He needed a safe harbor, a refuge in which to retreat for solitude. He was generally gentle and kind, unless he was hurt. Then he could become vindictive and sharp-spoken. He was affectionate, passionate, and even possessive at times. He was intuitive and was perhaps even psychic. Experience flowed through him emotionally. He was often moody and always changeable; his interests and social circles shifted constantly. He was emotion distilled into its purest form.

Read more about him under the cut:

Canada Lee (the adopted name of Lionel Cornelius Canegata) was a noted 20th Century jockey, boxer, and actor.  Born on May 3, 1907 in New York City’s San Juan Hill district, he attended Public School 5 in Harlem. Canegata began his musical education at the age of seven, studying violin with the composer J. Rosamond Johnson. At the age of fourteen he ran away to the Saratoga Race Track in upstate New York to become a jockey. After two years of jockeying he became a horse exerciser for prominent racehorse owners.

In 1923 Canegata moved to Harlem and became an amateur prize fighter, entering the ring with manager Jim Buckley. Over the next three years he emerged the victor in 90 of 100 fights and won the Metropolitan Inter-City and Junior National Championships.  Then he went on and won the national amateur lightweight title. In 1926 he turned professional, changed his name to Canada Lee, and by 1930 he was a leading contender for the welterweight championship. Lee fought in over 200 fights as a professional boxer, only losing 25.  In 1933 a detached retina ended his boxing career and he returned to music.

In 1934, after leading an unsuccessful band, Lee auditioned at the Harlem YMCA for Works Progress Administration (WPA) theatrical production Brother Mose. Lee got the role but soon turned to motion picture acting.  In 1935 at the age of 28 he played a stevedore named Charlie in Alfred Hitchcock’s movie, Lifeboat. This was the first major movie in Hollywood where the black character was not cast in a stereotypical role.

Despite that success on the silver screen, Lee returned to the theater and won his first critical acclaim as Banquo in the Federal Theater’s black version of Macbeth. He also played Jean Christophe in Haiti with Rex Ingram. In 1939 he had a featured role as Draylon in Mamaba’s Daughters, staring Ethel Waters. He also narrated the CBS radio program, “Flow Gently, Sweet Rhythm.”

In 1941 Lee played Bigger Thomas in the film Native Son to great critical and popular acclaim. Lee appeared six other films throughout the 1940s.  He played a sailor in South Pacific in 1943 and a prizefighter in Body and Soul in 1947.  Canada Lee declared that he would only take roles that educated society about race and enhanced the image of African Americans.  His passionate devotion to equality was reflected in his theatrical and film roles.

Canada Lee died of a heart attack on May 9, 1952. His health in the past two years had been in decline he had collapsed in Africa at the end of filming Cry the Beloved Country where he played the lead actor. Lee left behind his wife Juanita Waller and their two children. (x)

#pisces #canada lee #star analyses #scandalous stars #long ass post #astrology #mine

[ameliyaahn3]

13 days series : Day One, 20th December.

Genre : Fluff, Comfort, (lame ass one) Humor.

Warning : Things get heated up at end but nothing shocking.

Word count : Around 1k800.

Summary : Akashi bringing his empress to his chalet for christmas holidays but it's also his birthday. What will Y/n prepare for him ?

Akashi Seijuro × Reader.

Even then, you weren't used of that life of luxury and comfort with Seijuro : whatever you would salivate for, he was capable to give it to you twice or in a matter of a minute -if that's not even too much-: what was for sure something you can't even dream of in your wildest fantasty. And as the wealthy man he is, once again Seijuro impressed you by bringing you on vaccation at his family chalet.

Snow was surronding the beautiful and big place when you stepped outside the car, a warm and refined hand holding your fingers at the same time. You turn your head to see your boyfriend smiling what does make you instantly excited as his eyes are slightly shining at your view. Your blood going trough your veins so fast, you can't help but wait to drag Seijuro into the house and listening to whatever he has to say about it.

You know his chalet to be somewhere he would at least visit once a year and as a place full of funny and innocent chilhood memories that conted by him would just sound so interesting. As the cold started to hit a little bit too harshly on your faces, Seijuro finally decided to guide you to the traditional house, maids and butlers behind with your baggages.

" Pleased, my love ?" You nodded positively, a grin forming on your lips, " How I could not ?" the majestous tree were absorbing your soul.

"I know that you're not always comfortable with my wealth and all thoses prestigious places but I hope this time you won't feel any discomfort being here." The way he talks so smoothely drives you naturally to look at his charming face, what do distract your attention from the unique landscape. However do you regret it ? Not even one second.

" I can't be bothered by a place that is like home for you." You said, your stomach feeling like there butterflies in it despite it does make 9 months you're together. Sensations conservating pretty good like an old bottle of wine, it's really something to be in couple with this man.

" I wish you would think of my gifts as the furnitures then." You chukle a little bit at his come-back, not bad actually but how could you not feel weird when he's offering you expensive jewerly and dates on the only motive that you're his lover ?

" Sei..."

" Because I can't imagine a world that I would truly enjoy without you, you deserve the best, Y/n. Though I've fallen for your independance, since we're one, everything mine is yours, you should not being ashamed of anything."

Seeing you opening your mouth to try to justifiate your attitude, Akashi shut it with his own, deposing a small peck on your lips that destroyed all trace of a logic and inteligent answer in your mind.

What a drag... How would you return him all he give to you the same ? Nothing that you can buy can value even the smallest thing that he had already offrered you, but it was his birthday tomorrow and except of your present you couldn't think of something appropriate to express your love to him.

" Shht, my dear. You know I'm right." He says with a smirk.

Besides making you feel like the first days, Seijuro know also how to make you pout like a child despite that you're supposed to be decently mature.

" That's not fair..."

────────── ·  ·  ·  · ✦

In front of the chimney, you observe the fire dancing, your head lies on Akashi shoulder's as he's taking a pause on his book and that a cup of hot chocolate is between your hands. It was for sure one of the most relaxing moment you ever had in the past 6 months, forgetting about school, work or whatever were drowning you down in general it was inexistant here.

" That table... I used to play on it a lot with my mother."

" What kind of games ?"

Akashi smile when he hear sincere interest in your voice, not surprised of your curiosity when it involve him even for the silliest subjects. It was one of the reason you were with him afterall and not another person.

" Cards games mostly and even if I was a child, I don't remember having similar struggles winning against my mother than anybody else till now."

" So she was an high level player ?"

" Surprisingly not and she would admit herself that she was even quite unlucky, I used to not understand why I had so much difficulties with her but now it's pretty clear that I was inconsciously doing of sort to play with her more."

" It's adorable but insulting at the same time, i don't know how I would take it if I was in her position. You didn't do this with me right ?"

"..."

His laugh makes you felt like death has suddenly taken your body and your diginity with it.

"Maybe you can try to found out yourself ?" He put his book aside, amused by the situation.

" I've never felt so insulted in my life... Seijuro affront me right now, one one." Determined by your pride you still kept your calm and called him more in a playful tone than anything else.

" You won't be mad at me when you will find out how I play with you Y/n?"

" I can't promise that... i've been believing that I was good at shogi during more than a year!"

" And you're good."

" But how do I know for real now ?"

"Alright, alright... let's play then. Even if you finish to be angry at me that wouldn't last long."

" Wha-? You know that you're irresistible and you makes benefit of it on me ?! That's vicious... and I love it against my own agreement. How do you do ? That's disgusting."

" You're doing this to me everyday, Y/n."

" No i don't..?"

" You definitely do."

You don't even bother to pursuing that thing and sit in front of the said table with cards that you found around. Today was the day of truth.

 ────────── ·  ·  ·  · ✦

After losing 13 rounds in a row you didn't bother to test Akashi again and let him with his undefeated title. But most importantly, while playing against him you didn't saw something that would say he was holding back on purpose, what surprised you and comforted you a little bit on your own skills.

After that, you decided to take an hot bath and you had a sumptuous diner which by the way makes you felt really heavy. Filled Up and clean, there was nothing that you would need in the moment and so time went by and at the end you wanted to sleep. The Emperor led you to your shared room and before letting your body enjoy a restful night, you took initiative of a cuddle session. Making soft contact with Akashi's skin, your fingers doing small circles on his palm hand and forearm.

As sleep is slowly taking you away, your boyfriend whispers lovely words in your right ear and stroke your back, plunging you into another world : Watching the snow failling gently in the window with the elegant lights of the room while being under thoses pretty sheets with Akashi Seijuro beside... Everything looked like a dream. You took a look in the direction of your hidden gift, thinking of how you would make it memorable and your eyes closed despite a sudden excitation and vague of ideas that poped in your head last minute.

During the whole night, it was like your soul aspired to wake up early and so you slept easily but as if you're body is schedulded, first hour in the morning, 5:45 am you were awake and as you were quiting bed stupid flash of the game yesterday evening came to your head making you thinking that Akashi pitiyied you because of small action in his game, you pipe that idea away and focus on your tasks.

First step was the more difficult one but you managed to get out the bed without being noticed. You wanted to make breakfast for him but also as he would wake up, wish him an happy birthday quite special with his present in your hands.

Maids bringed the bouquet of roses you requested and helped you cooking food. You had so much plans for his birthday... If you remember well, there was that Power Point waiting in your draft explaining how perfect he is and why he should be happy, healthy and live so much years more. But you didn't carry on that idea as that wasn't amazing enough and that in fact that would be just you acting as a fangirl of your boyfriend during an hour at least.

You watch at the time, knowing that your lover used to being awake around 6:30-7:00 also on weekends while during winter even the sun doesn't rise that early.

You walk into the room, taking your gift quickely and in silence, posing the plate of breakfast that you tried your best to please him with. Well, you look at him to see that he's sligthly waking up, a smile grows on your lips.

Once you see one of those red orbs open, you heart skips a beat, Akashi sit on his bed a genuine smile as he see you.

" Good morning, Y/n."

and you can't help but kiss him.

" Happy birthday Seijuro!"

As you crash your lips in a sweet and chaste manner yet still filled with an unquestionable passion, you give him roses and put on evidence the breakfast. The smell of roses mixed with delicious plates increasing Akashi joy even if he doesn't show it in an obvious way.

" You didn't have to do this, Y/n... But it makes me really happy, Thank you."

" Do not thank me yet..! I haven't given you everything and you deserve the best."

You lay on his hand the package, letting him being curious to what is it. After taking a glance at you, he decide to open your gift and see an antique but expensive -for someone of your class- watch with his and your initials, because the clock is foldable when you unclip it, you can see a picture of his mother that you've put.

Akashi seemed quite touched and took your hand in his, a soft and nostalgic expression on his face.

" I obvisouly can't offer you one of the newer and expensive jewerly but I was sure that this one would be at your liking."

Emotional value combined with an utilitarian purpose, not to mention the style.

" And it is, you did well Y/n. It's until now the most valuable item I have in my possesion... I will cherish your present."

" And I will cherish you... Doesn't it sounded like a weeding vows ? Haha... However I will cherish you for real and in all the way possible so even if I can't give you as much as you do in terms of material... My affection would value at least as much if it's not even a lot more."

You said that while coming closer to him, eyes full of desire and of need to proove your love. Akashi put all thoses object you bring in bed on the nearest table as a more lewd expression took place on his face.

" Convince me."

And you were already under him.

" Maybe this one would be my favorite birthday."

#akashi seijuro #knb #kuroko no basket #kuroko no basuke #anime #manga #akashi seijuro x reader #happy birthday #i love him without my consent help #really i can even try to not like him #i love him more than i would admit #13 days

[justactsupernatural]

Table for 5

He never stood a chance, not when they were offering him a world of happiness, even if only for one meal. His brothers and him sold their souls to McDonald's.

Based loosely in that one post-credit scene in The Avengers where they are eating shawarma but Thunderbirds.

----------------------------------

It had been a long rescue, like, 17 hours long kind of rescue. The flood, and subsequent mudslide, had hit the town at around 6pm, and IR had first arrived on the scene probably an hour later.

With a disaster of that magnitude, and all the Tracy boys on the Island (with John having come down from Five for the day) it was only natural that they all piled up on Thunderbirds One and Two to answer the call.

And now, hours later, they were tired, sore, covered head to toe in mud and hungry. Very. Hungry.

Which was why the McDonald’s that was just about to enter their flight path on the way back home was perfect.

“C’mon Scotty, there’s even a giant field in front of the place that’s perfect to land the Birds!” exclaimed Gordon, trying to convince the oldest Tracy to let them land and eat a burger or two (or five) in the fast-food restaurant.

The discussion had been taking place for the last five minutes, with both the youngest Tracy’s trying to win over their oldest brother with the promise of greasy food, while the second oldest and middle Tracy’s rolled their eyes and chuckled when the situation deemed it necessary.

“No Gordon, we have to get back home in case another rescue comes in and you know it” Scott said, because someone had to be responsible in this family and it might as well be him, even if sometimes he just wished he wasn’t mature enough to know that throttling his water-loving brother was not acceptable in this year and age.

“But Scott-“ said Alan, before being interrupted by the feeling of Thunderbird Two landing and his middle brother’s voice “I’m sorry Scott, but we’re hungry and tired and we are going to stop for a burger at McDonald’s, you’re welcome to join if you want”.

The whoops and cheering of Alan and Gordon, and the little smirk that John was trying to hide behind his hand and failing told Virgil that he had made the right call, and hearing Scott’s long-suffering sight before he voiced his agreement only proved that even responsible big brother wanted to eat.

 ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 He never stood a chance, not when they were offering him a world of happiness, even if only for one meal. His brothers and him sold their souls to McDonald's.

Scott knew they shouldn’t be doing this, that videos and pictures of them, covered in mud and looking like they just took a dive in a swamp were going to be on the internet before they even sat down, but PR was the GDF’s problem and they deserved this break.

The moment they entered, the smell of oil and fries and food and the look on his brothers faces just kind of proved that point. Sure, everyone was looking at them like they were aliens, and the ones that weren’t were outside taking pictures and videos of their ships, but right now they couldn’t care less.

Joining the line at the cash register they started looking at the menu and discussing what to order, throwing the occasional idea to just order one of everything and to hell with it. After probably what was a too long time for such a discussion, Scott took everyone’s orders and let the others go find a table.

After standing in line for probably five minutes they were next, and the employee, despite her awestruck face and shocked behavior, took their order in stride.

“Hi, could we please have 3, no wait, 4 Big Macs, 3 cheeseburgers, 2 BBQ Crispy Onions, 1 Chicken Tenders, 6 large black coffees, 8 large curly fries, 5 milkshakes, 3 vanilla, 1 chocolate and 1 strawberry; 2 Caesar Salads, 1 Happy Meal and 10 apple pies. Oh and 1 vanilla scone. Thanks”, he said, looking from the menu to the wide-eyed guy and his fellow wide-eyed coworkers and giving them a smile.

The cashier smiled back and uttered a small comment on how their order would be delivered to their table as soon as it got out. With another smile, Scott took off towards his brothers and their table to wait for the food.

The establishment was medium sized and there were quite a few customers, so they had to grab one of the few tables big enough for them and all their food, an 8-person table in the middle of the place.

When he got there, he gave each of his brothers a large soda paper cup and went to the soda machine to serve his, not the healthiest thing to drink but meh. His brothers followed him and served themselves before returning to their table.

“Well, I don’t know you guys, but I think we deserved this after pulling that long ass rescue” said Gordon before taking a sip of his soda. “Language” said Scott while grabbing a napkin and passing it to John, who was trying and failing to clean a smudge of dry dirt in his left cheek.

“I love how you always criticize us for our language Scotty, like you weren´t in the Air Force and have definitely heard or said worse” commented Virgil, prompting a laugh out of Gordon and causing Alan to choke on his coke.

“Alright, I’m going to the bathroom” said John while getting up and patting Alan’s back, who was still choking on his coke and wheezing for breath. Virgil stood and followed his redhead brother to the bathroom; seeing the flash of a camera go off out of his periphery vision, Gordon sighed before turning to look at Alan.

“What the hell Allie just breathe, it’s not that hard!” Alan glared at the aquanaut while taking a gulp of his soda and managing to take a deep breath without choking, and then reaching up to his shoulder and unclasping his chest plate, letting it fall on the chair next to him. At the questioning looks he just shrugged his shoulders and said “What? It gets claustrophobic after a while; you try wearing that thing for 17 hours in a row and then we can talk”.

Scott blinked once before turning to look at John and Virgil’s figures, making the trek back from the bathroom; when his brothers were close enough Scott realized that Virgil had the top half of his uniform around his hips, the blue sleeves tied around his middle to keep the whole thing from falling, his flannel and white undershirt the only clean thing in sight.

He thought about making a comment about how they were supposed to respect the uniform and be presentable while in public or something like that, but that would be a lie because, like all his brothers, Scott had left his baldric in One and it’s not like keeping their uniforms would help to ‘keep their image’ when they were all sprawled on the plastic chairs at McDonald’s.

 ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 45 minutes and probably too much food to be healthy later, they were all silently looking at nothing, all trapped in their own thoughts to pay attention to what was happening around them.

Picking at the leftover milkshake in front of him Gordon spoke up, “Do you guys remember that time, back at the farm, when we tried to sneak out in the middle of the night to get ice cream and Grandma found us because we wanted to take the car and none of us could drive so we tried to push it out the driveway and ended up slamming it against the wall?”.

Four pair of eyes turned to look at him before Alan burst out laughing, Scott, John and Virgil chuckling softly. “I remember that it was YOU who tried to sneak out and we were just trying to stop you” said John, pointing at Alan and Gordon with a look that clearly said ‘cut the bullshit’, and raising an eyebrow when the aquanaut only smiled.

“Meh, tomato tomahto;” chuckled Gordon before throwing an arm around Alan’s shoulders and pulling him close “we did good that night Allie and we shall forever remember how you got us out of trouble with your quick thinking and adorable baby cheeks”. The young astronaut slapped away Gordon’s hand when he tried to pinch his cheeks.

“Get off me Gordo, and if you ever try to do that in front of people again, I’m tying you to Three and taking you to Jupiter and leaving you there”. Hissed Alan while shoving off his brothers arm and straightening in his chair.

“All right, that’s it, let’s go” said Scott while signaling to the waitress for the check and turning to his brothers “we should be getting back and it’s going to be a long trip”. He took out his credit card and handed it to the waitress before smiling and telling her to add a generous tip; taking his card back he got up and signaled for his brothers to follow.

Groans and sights followed but they all got up and gathered the multiple trays to take to the trash in their way out, leaving the table almost as not quite spotless as it was when they arrived. The cameras, flashes and whispers followed them all the way to the parking lot before they crossed the street and walking towards the Thunderbirds.

 ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 It really wasn’t a surprise, but Scott had thought the message would have been sent an hour ago, not just now.

Colonel Casey: Scott Carpenter Tracy you better have a good explanation for this.

Right under the text was the picture of a news article, the headline reading:

INTERNATIONAL RESCUE SAVING RESTAURANT FROM GOING BANKRUP: TRACY BROTHERS SPOTTED AT MCDONALD’S ORDERING ENOUGH FOOD TO PAY FOR THE RESTAURANTS EXPENSES OF AT LEAST A YEAR

Oh well, thought Scott, we probably did anyway.

#alan tracy #gordon tracy #john tracy #scott tracy #virgil tracy #thunderbirds are go #thunderbirds 2015

[technobladetimestamps]

Nov 16 Stream Timestamps

Timestamps from Technoblade’s “THE REVOLUTION (dream SMP)”

Link to my youtube comment with all of the timestamps x

Timestamps with hyperlinks below

02:13  “This is a surprise tool which will help us later” / thumbnail isn’t foreshadowing / video thumbnails have to be big / stream thumbnails can be detailed 05:17  “The traitor is actually Jschlatt” / firework crafting 09:50  “The ratio is impeccable” 13:23  “Dream’s in the game! My audience retention rate” / vc with Tubbo & Quackity / traitor Jschlatt theory / “Are you high?” “A little” 14:47  “You’re a bit of a wildcard” “I am the most consistent character on the entire server” / “What’s this about getting into power” / “We’ll burn this bridge when we get to it” 15:54  “You really are such an English major” / “You’re an idiom” / malaphor / “I’m actually speaking twice as much English as you guys” 18:07  “I think Thunder is overcompensating in the chat” / “Where can you see me” “In my heart” (Karl & Quackity) / Karl not leaving vc 20:33  vc with Niki / “Did Tubbo just leave me? I spaced out for 2 seconds” / “You can’t call everyone the traitor” “I can & will” 22:45  “You know it’s an event when Skeppy’s here” / “You know it’s a big deal when Georgenotfound wakes up” / “Everyone leaves me” 23:31  explaining the traitor thing to Niki / “Maybe I’m a sleeper agent” / had to kill Tubbo 25:03  nothing happened with that creeper / Fundy interrogating Niki / “Why did I train her for MCC” 25:54  “Even YOU’RE leaving me” / sad music / “I’m sitting here with 203k viewers & it’s not enough for any of these streamers to bear talking to me for more than 60 seconds” / Skeppy joins vc to immediately leave 28:50  Karl has a gift for Techno / Karl is just here for the animatic 32:21  “At least the chat won’t leave me” / pays for his music 35:01  “I’m going to destroy the government so bad” / “I hate all of the farming updates on skyblock” 37:45  joining a vc / “I just got stood up in like 4...conversations in rapid succession” / “My new years resolution was to make friends & it’s november & I’ve made zero headway” / Eret switches sides 41:53  Ender chest setup / worried about hotbar management / potions > shields   43:13  vc with allies / “Karl you are literally the biggest third wheel I have ever seen” 45:03  angering the dogs / trident combo 47:13  “D!ck with one ball” (Tubbo) 50:25  “Let’s hope Wil overslept like [George]” 53:09  recruiting Eret / “If you fight on our side we’ll make you the King of Burger King” / “He’ll be an executive citizen” / “I’m surrounded by idiots” 54:58  putting Schlatt on the allies list / “Schlatt is an alcoholic high on protein power” (Fundy) 56:47  can’t trust Eret / “I hate it when you’re right” (Tubbo) / Wilbur joins vc 59:50  having a moment with Hubert / “Not even the mobs like me” / sad music / “I just gained 8k subscribers the sadness is gone” / cow pit exp farm 1:02:57  vc with Niki / “I’m going to join the other vc AHHHHH” 1:05:02  “Once everyone meets up...I have something prepared” / “Technoblade when are you not ready?” “When I joined the server” 1:09:38  “Who do you take me for? Of course I’ve read the Art of War. It’s written by Mozart” / battle planning 1:12:18  “This is the betrayal...happening very slowly” 1:13:35  Pan1 / “This revolution is so doomed” 1:15:29  Dream attack / Quackity dies 1:18:07  “Agree Retweet” / “Violence is the only universal language” / “i have a supply” / “Why do you talk in upwards inflections constantly?” 1:19:57  Techno not getting to talk / “He took it all by force didn’t he” / “Fear into Ear” 1:23:50  Techno telling everyone he has a stash twice / distributing blue / mushroom the fox 1:26:49  Tommy talking over Techno again / “Stop going off on your tangents” “We have food at home” 1:29:30  vault reveal / Tubbo stealing emeralds / secret chest 1:32:40  “Shut up bro you are green as shit” (Tommy) / “Everyone give me back my stuff you don’t deserve it” 1:34:41  no netherite swords / “Who’s the traitor” “Promise we won’t be mad” 1:36:31  battle / Technoblade trident maneuvering / giving rocket launchers to Tubbo & Tommy 1:40:27  killing Karl / Dream bringing out the end crystals / fighting invis Dream / purpled switches sides 1:43:57  Dream wants to talk / 309k / group photos 1:46:08  vc with Dream / “But only if my enemy insists” / in the van with Schlatt / “What are you doing in my drug van? It better not be drugs” / Tommy preparing to shoot Schlatt 1:54:42  “We won” / “We killed an old man with heart problems! It only took 20 of us!” / President Innit / subscribe to Technoblade sign 1:55:57  Dream & Techno talk in chat / Tommy speech / “It was meant to be” / “I don’t think anyone is bowing to Tommyinnit” / “Karl don’t be weird” / Skeppy has a disc 1:59:06  Techno being apprehensive on mute / Tommy makes Wilbur President / “I’ll be the president” “I’m gonna veto that” / “Techno...you’ve taught me that government is not the way to go” / Wilbur makes Tubbo president 2:03:20  “I’m not sure I like where this is going x2” / “I’m not sure this is a good ending” / “Team chaos” “Perhaps” 2:06:20  Techno shoots Tubbo / Philza joins / “You think Schlatt was the cause of your problems? No. It was government” / speech gets interrupted / “The government ends here, I’ll kill it myself!” 2:09:23  Phil kills Wilbur / techno yelling for silence / “Tommy you just did a coup...& instilled yourself as president” 2:12:11  “If you want to be a hero THAN DIE LIKE ONE” / wither spawning / killing his former allies 2:15:09  post fight talks / “There will be no new government today. It will be over my dead body” / “Techno was not the traitor” 2:18:50  “I need to increase the crater that is L’Manberg so that no country can rise in its place” / “Mom says it’s my turn on the flame bow” 2:23:51  “What I’m doing right now is small scale. This is the work of an individual. This is nothing compared to the cruelty governments all around the world [inflict]...systematically” / “Llamas are the primary victims of war” / “I just wanna be apart of the explosion” (George) 2:27:06  Techno joins vc / connor joins the server / “I hope you’re proud of yourself Techno” “I kinda am” / Jack Manifold (Thunder) being broke / netherite armor 2:32:30  “Beach episode” / Techno accidentally joins the L’Manberg vc 2:35:16  the base is compromised / “There’s no way Technoblade would put a clock there if it didn’t mean anything” / got robbed 2:37:37  “If you’re going to ask me how I got all these emerald & arrows that’s a story for another day” / explaining the bedrock / “I can give everyone stuff & it’ll be such a flex” 2:40:24  Greek mythology 2:41:45  The Golden Apple / “They didn’t use discord back then they used skype, so can’t invite Eris” / “Zeus the god of feminism” 2:46:02  Eret recruiting Techno to kill George / joining vc / “Let’s stop him before he gets land” / Awesamdude proposing a fight 2:49:08  “No one can kill me I’m invincible” (logs out) / Dream literally names the turtle potions Sam thinks he hasn’t heard of / “I’m at soup” / “It’s not smack talk he just has that many items” 2:53:06  “Stab him Dream, I’ll shout encouraging words” / Techno fighting Bad & Ant 2:56:23  Dream wins / “I think there was this Dream guy attacking you with some sort of weapon” 3:00:11  turtle potions / Dream hyping up Techno about fighting BBH / Badlands negotiating with George 3:04:34  vc with Philza 3:07:00  spider farm afk’ing / lagging Quackity’s computer 3:09:06  smp earth / Phil only logged on to back Techno up 3:10:32  killing George / “I’m gonna drop his armor off don’t jump me” / not fighting Dream 3:13:00  vc with Karl & Phil / Karl definitely not starting a government / “Chat that was the boring part, don’t leave” / 320k / “Why do we keep scheduling these on Monday?” 3:16:18  “I don’t even want to think about how famous Tommy will be in the future” / “I get a tad bitter” / covid is good for youtubers but obviously bad / “I’m so good at socially distancing” 3:19:51  “Aren’t you tired of being nice Philza? Don’t you just wanna go crazy” / “You should be wary of the old in a profession where people die young” / vc with Eret 3:21:47  “What if you built a slightly larger throne next to it?” /  “How are they paranoid of a mole but the guy with a track record of being a traitor gets no questions asked” 3:25:47  “I’m gonna place a block at the bottom & kill you instantly” / reverse mlg /  emerald rich even with Tubbo’s theft 3:27:57  “I’ll allow it” / upstairs chests robbed / Eret disconnects with the book 3:32:04  armor sabotage bc he thought it’d be 1v5 / crystals are mutually assured destruction / Wilbur afraid of tnt getting blown up early 3:34:11  the diary was actually Eret’s / “He’s gonna tell everyone who I have a crush on. Nooo” / reading the 100 page book / “Can I not win here?” “No” 3:40:14  “This stream has released more serotonin in my brain than the last 6 months combined” / revolution was overcrowded / could improve the crater 2:43:09  “Awkward ten minute period where I’m just sitting there watching them set up a new government but I can’t kill them yet” / Carl is missing 3:44:34  “The one time Technoblade is gonna roleplay & they talk over him” / “CARL” / “As long as Sapnap isn’t the one that took him there’ll still be hope” 3:46:10  “Once you start using end crystals it’s the only pvp that matters & end crystal pvp is so lame” / Webtoons 3:49:10  “What’s going to happen to you & WIlbur now?” “I don’t know, I think I’m chill with Wilbur” / “The only thing that changed is my voice. Zero personal growth” / lines from the first speech that got interrupted / “King George is trending booo” 3:52:00  1 million twitter followers / “O god it’s been four hours...I am not built for this” / did a 13 hour stream once / sub growth goals 3:56:30  “What the heck is Phil watching”

#technoblade #technoblade timestamps #THE REVOLUTION (dream SMP) #dream smp

[whentherewerebicycles]

such a good sunday :) lots of active time but in a way that felt fun and not like a chore, which is always the goal. took a long walk with Ruthie this morning, skated for 45 min this afternoon, and took another long walk with Pip in the early evening. the grocery store was still really picked over (very little produce and nothing from the fridges) but I made a really spicy pantry staples pasta dish with chickpeas that was pretty good.

I didn’t get any fiction writing done today, but I did do some good future planning/writing re: research and career stuff this afternoon while the dogs napped.

some thoughts post-future planning: I’m trying to be a little more proactive about my own life, I guess. I feel like I spent the years between ages 15-23ish in this hyper-driven, hypercompetitive mode, where I was soooo driven by the need to secure external achievements and be the best/smartest/most accomplished at whatever, mostly because it felt like the only way I could see out of the deep pit of intense self-loathing I spent so many years stewing in. my mid-to-late 20s and early 30s have definitely been a time of just, like, figuring out what it means to be healthy (emotionally, physically, and in my friendships and relationships) and learning how to prioritize happiness, self-compassion, lightness, joy, etc in my life and work—which meant consciously jettisoning the external achievement-oriented values system that so structured those earlier phases of my life.

but I’ve been thinking a lot lately (yes partly because of sports, lol) that in both phases I may have swung a little too far in one direction, or gone too far towards one extreme. the hypercompetitive achievement-focused version of myself wasn’t healthy because it just gave me this rigid exoskeleton I believed would protect/shield me without addressing the fact that all the soft vulnerable inside parts of my self were so shot through with self-critical self-hatred I was pretty much rotting from within. I really NEEDED to swing very, very far in the opposite direction in order to start reckoning with the damage that all of these awful corrosive feelings had been doing to my head/heart/self for so long. I guess one way to describe that second extreme swing is: I had to learn how to extend compassion and total acceptance to myself while having no expectations of myself, almost to prove to myself that it was possible. I had to prove to myself that you didn’t have to achieve anything or win anything or have grandiose ambitions for yourself to be worthy of love, tenderness, care. you could just be, and still deserve to be alive.

but I think that maybe now I am ready to start looking for a middle ground, or a third way forward that lies somewhere between those two ways of living in the world/in oneself. I want to find a way to synthesize the good parts of both into something new. I needed the time to be directionless (well—directionless for me, I guess, by my old standards) and completely at peace with it, but I also know from experience that I do thrive in those competitive (or at least higher-pressure) situations where I have to think quickly, creatively, and daringly, and where I am much more frequently testing the limits of what I know or know how to do.

I feel like I used to chase achievements like something was chasing after me—something terrifying that was always hot on my heels, threatening to imminently overtake and devour me. I don’t want to ever feel like that again! but I do want to find ways to move through my life, through the world, and through my work/career in a more purposeful way than I’ve been doing for the past few years. I want to take more initiative instead of just drifting from place to place. I want to not only accept but actively seek out more experiences that challenge me, in healthy and generative ways. I want to test myself—not to see if I’ll break, but to see what more I am capable of doing and learning. I also want the desire to work more purposefully to come not from a need to be recognized with external achievements, but from the understanding that I can do the work I love more effectively if I am better connected and more deeply engaged in communities of people who are pursuing similar work.

I want to keep thinking about what it would look like to pursue excellence not in exacting or self-punishing ways, but as an extension of the care I offer myself. as a teacher I know that giving students the easy out might seem like the most humane or compassionate response in the moment—but when I let someone only & always stay where they are comfortable, or when I step in too quickly to solve a problem for them, I am depriving them of opportunities for real and meaningful growth, the kind that ultimately helps people become confident, secure adults who trust themselves to be able to respond to unfamiliar situations or tackle complex challenges. I want to teach/mentor myself like that too! I want to embrace the idea that caring for myself means creating opportunities for myself to struggle productively, in ways that test and challenge me, and ultimately help me mature into a more secure and capable adult version of myself.

lol okay well more on this later, probably! when I started writing I just meant to post a three-sentence end-of-day update and it got away from me a bit. but these are some thoughts that I am mulling over this week.

#i always start getting into a really reflective mood in the week or two before my birthday lol #my mind just starts moving into ‘looking back / looking forward’ mode #long post #mw #teaching #kinda