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#it makes me feel angry that out of four weeks in a month i get like max two weeks when I feel good and normal
g1rld1ary · 2 days
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you never disappointed me - part five
part one part two part three four
➻ synopsis: luke castellan x aphrodite!reader ; luke tries to apologise for the party, but it takes you a while to forgive him (10 things I about you AU)
➻ word count: 3753
➻ warnings: ooc/kind of loser!luke, ooc silena, she/her pronouns used for reader, swearing
➻ did this take a month? yes. am I sorry? yes. will it happen again? absolutely
TAGLIST: @myxticmoon @wicca-void @leeknows-wife @thekittyxo-blog @number-onekidqueen @instabull @slaybestieslay946 @sflame15-blog @yourfavmiki @ivory-sage @caramelandvenus @chasebeth @maraudersmyloves losergirlcrowley amortencjja wisecrownpaper iammightsadyall odeasforyou rlqfpdl
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You were humiliated. You’d spent all night crying, mortification setting in thick over your body as you lay on your bed. However, despite how embarrassed you were, you were mostly angry. Angry at Luke for acting so affectionate, for making you believe that he really liked you then pulling away at the last second. Angry at yourself. Angry that after all these years, all it took was one stupid boy to bring down all your walls; angry that you let yourself be led into this situation.
And so that morning, instead of letting yourself mope around about it anymore, you picked yourself up with a new determination. You were angry, and everyone was going to know about it. Your braids were pulled extra tight, not in the mood to deal with flyaways or gentleness, and the smudged eyeliner around your eyes served as a reminder of the tears you’d wasted.
There was a much shorter line at the Lava Wall than usual. Although skipping out on activities could earn you some shitty chores or revoked dessert privileges, your bad mood had seeped into the whole area, practically lowering the temperature around you. You only had a few newer campers dare to enter your territory, and it took a Herculean effort to not snap at them for even coming near you.
Luke watched you from afar, hidden away in one of his typically safe smoking spots. He was trying to gauge your mood, see if anything was fixable. His prospects currently looked grim. He watched in anticipation as a young girl made a dumb mistake. Luke thought it wouldn’t have been her fault — Chiron had made him tour her around camp only a few weeks ago and she’d been pretty beat up before she got to camp. He watched you yank her off the Lava Wall moments before disaster, and held his breath as you both seemed to falter. The girl looked like she was going to burst into tears, and your face was unreadable, which was usually not a good thing. Just as he thought you were going to take out all your feelings on the scared kid, you crouched down to her level, thumb wiping away her spilled tears. You spoke softly to her, bringing her down from an impending breakdown with a gentleness that didn’t often emerge at camp.
The interaction gave Luke some hope, maybe your heart hadn’t totally closed off. That thought was quashed, however, when minutes later you ripped Travis Stoll a new one for being an ‘egotistical dickhead’ as he fooled around on the wall. Luke was genuinely shocked at the volume which came from your body, he could have mistaken it for a conch horn. Even Travis seemed a little taken aback at your outburst. Usually your bad moods were pretty easy to avoid — stay out of your way and you stayed away from others. Clearly today, though, you had anger to get out of your system, and you weren’t hesitant in expressing it.
You were still upset by lunchtime, and your day only got worse.
“Dance for me, cowboy,” Katy Gardener yelled, evil grin shining across the Dining Pavilion. You kept your head down and ignored it, hurrying to your table. A body popped up in front of you, blocking your path.
“What do we owe you for the table dance, babe?” Ethan crooned, and if you were in a slightly more private setting you would have decked him. You grumbled out a “Fuck you,” and shoved past him towards Drew, knowing that at least she wouldn’t reproach you in public. Ethan clearly wasn’t done with you yet, though, and began an all too innocent conversation with Mr D.
“Why don’t you ask how her weekend was, Mr D?” He said, throwing a casual glance over to you.
“Unless she kicked the crap out of your dumb ass, Elton, I don’t wanna hear it.” You could have kissed Mr D, and then immediately recoiled at the thought. Ethan’s embarrassed expression was enough to please you though, and you sunk into your meal silently, but at least not active with anger.
After lunch Luke tried to apologise to you, or explain himself at least. He knew you were upset, but he was still feeling good about himself. He had noble intentions, and was doing objectively the right thing by not taking advantage of you when you were drunk. None of these sentiments were expressed, though, when you stormed right past him, making sure to land an extra aggressive stomp on his foot as you went. Chris couldn’t hold back his loud laugh, clapping Luke on the back in semi-sympathy as he headed to his own next activity. Luke stood dumbly in his spot for a few minutes, unsure of how exactly to proceed. Clearly you were more upset than he thought.
Your own next activity was Ancient Greek with Mr D. You didn’t know why he taught it at all given you personally thought he was hardly fluent, but it was one activity you actually didn’t mind, especially as you got older. Whilst the younger kids had lessons focused on getting used to the alphabet and language, the elder campers who were more fluent had more traditional ‘english’ classes — learning about texts and languages, only in Ancient Greek so the dyslexia didn’t slow you down as much.
You shot Mr D a tightlipped smile as you walked into the pavilion, hoping to get by the lesson unscathed, though you didn’t have much hope. Both Ethan and Luke were in this class, and you really didn’t want to see either (though Luke usually skipped, so he wasn’t such a pressing issue).
Just your luck, Ethan was already in his unassigned assigned seat behind you, filling in the campers who didn’t attend the party about your escapades. You just rolled your eyes, trying to seem somewhat graceful about your own actions, but the leering eyes of your peers was making it supremely difficult. For once you did regret not making many friends at camp — if you had, maybe your humiliation wouldn’t be such a hot topic, but the very presence of your class reminded you why you had no interest in being friends with them.
The room thankfully quietened down when Mr D walked in, the whole camp somewhat wary of his temper. He started the lesson: Shakespeare. You perked up a bit from your slouched position in the chair. Whilst school wasn’t exactly your strong point with the ADHD and dyslexia, Shakespeare was something you actually kind of understood. When you were younger your Dad had taken you and Silena to a production of A Midsummer Night’s Dream and you’d loved it ever since. Shakespeare translated into Greek was maybe your dream.
Mr D started talking about sonnets, and you got the distinct impression that he didn’t totally know what he was talking about — or just didn’t care enough to go into any detail. You figured that was more correct since he was the god of theatre, but you could never be totally sure with Dionysus. Regardless, he’d moved on from explaining the basic form of a sonnet and had set you a project: write your own version of Shakespeare’s sonnet 141. You sat straighter in your seat, unable to hide the small smile that had crept onto your face. You raised your hand, slightly offended by Mr D’s eye roll.
“Yes, Miss I-have-an-opinion-about-everything?” He sighed, but you persevered nonetheless.
“Do you want it in iambic pentameter?” You asked.
“You’re not going to fight me on this?” He hesitated, and you revelled in the fact that you could still surprise him after all these years.
“No, I think it’s a really good assignment.”
“You’re just messing with me, right Barton?”
“Beauregard,” You corrected for the thousandth time, “But no. I’m really excited to write it.” You picked uncomfortably at your cargos as the class watched your exchange.
“Go see Chiron.”
“What?”
“Get out!” He yelled, not quite angry but you weren’t going to be the one to test him. There were rumours of previous campers who’d been turned into dolphins and you did not want to continue that legacy. You wandered out of Greek class, still slightly confused at what had just happened, and headed back to your cabin, not bothering to go see Chiron. With the cabin to yourself you tried to get a start on Mr D’s project, but inspiration was lacking and you resorted to taking a nap instead.
The rift between you and Luke became public knowledge at that night’s campfire. Without even realising it you’d started sitting with him most nights (or rather he sat with you, bothering you until you submitted to a conversation). Then suddenly you were avoiding him like the plague, spitting out a harsh “Get fucked, Castellan,” when he called your name softly, almost begging you to talk to him. You were never one to back down from your decisions though, and left him in the dust, taking a seat next to Clarisse. You could tell even Chris could see something was seriously wrong as he pressed a kiss to Clarisse’s hand and disappeared somewhere, presumably to sit with Luke.
You didn’t even really know why you were at the campfire in the first place. You’d been only a handful of times before you knew Luke, and now you didn’t want to know him yet here you were. Clarisse tried to keep you entertained with her quiet comments — which did admittedly make you snort a laugh once or twice, but you were otherwise miserable. You sure as hell weren’t going to participate or chat to anyone, and you were really regretting not just pursuing your usual routine of getting to the top of the Aphrodite cabin for stargazing. Plus, you could feel Luke’s eyes following your every move, and you were getting fed up with the kicked puppy act.
Your final straw was the singing — why was everyone in Camp Half-Blood so obsessed with singing? The second some douchebag from Apollo brought out a guitar you were done, launching yourself out of your seat and stomping back towards your cabin for some peace and quiet. Just as you were crossing the threshold out of the amphitheatre a hand grabbed your arm and you whirled around to face the culprit, ripping your arm out of his embrace.
“Touch me again, Castellan, and I swear to the Gods I will make sure you have no hands to use.”
“Look, I just wanted—”
“I don’t care, Castellan. We don’t always get what we want, do we?” You knew you were being mean, but you frankly didn’t care. When Luke was shocked into silence, mouth slightly open as he searched for anything to say, you took the opportunity to leave him in the dust, trying to keep your confident walk even as your legs were shaking slightly.
“Bro, what did you do to her?” Beckendorf approached Luke up near the exit of the amphitheatre.
“I didn’t do anything,” Luke snapped, before taking a beat to calm himself down, “She would’ve been too drunk to remember.”
“But the plan was working!”
“What do you care? I thought you wanted out.” A slight blush crept on Beckendorf’s face, accompanying the dumb grin.
“Yeah, well I did, but, um, that was until she kissed me.” Despite his own bad luck, Luke couldn’t help but be happy for Beckendorf, slightly hating the fact that the lame younger boy had grown on him significantly. He let Charles ramble about the kiss for a bit despite his decreasing interest in the conversation, very glad when Percy joined them.
“So I talked to Clarisse,” He said, and Luke knew by his tone the news wasn’t going to be good. Beckendorf was still hopeful (or just naive) though, and pestered him for more details. “’Hates him with the fire of a thousand suns’ is the direct quote.” All three of them grimaced, yet Beckendorf persisted.
“Hey, we don’t know. She might just need a day to cool off.” Luke thought back to the bruise you’d left on his foot earlier in the day.
“Maybe two.”
The Aphrodite kids were all in archery except you, who’d claimed to be sick to get out of it. So, Silena was on her own and vulnerable to Ethan approaching.
“Hey there, Cupid.” He popped up behind her, not noticing the grimace creeping onto Silena’s face.
“Hi, Ethan.” She refused to look at him, focusing instead on aiming her arrow.
“I want to talk about the end of summer dance.” Silena rolled her eyes as the rest of her siblings pretended to mind their own business despite their innate need to know what was going on.
“Look, you know the deal. I can’t go if my sister doesn’t.” The end of summer dance was exactly what it sounded like; a big party for all the kids at camp to celebrate the three months they’d spent together and send off the kids who weren’t staying all year round. Though the actual dance was supervised, it was a well known secret that all of the older campers stayed out through the night drinking and dancing, and most of the folk around camp turned a blind eye for the night. Usually, your dad would pick you up just before the party started, which would inevitably result in a fight between you and Silena. Now though, Silena wasn’t quite so against leaving early, wanting out of the boy drama she’d found herself in.
“Your sister is going,” Ethan said, puffing out his chest as if it made him look more manly. Silena’s surprise was genuine.
“Since when?”
“Let’s just say I’m taking care of it,” Was all Ethan said before walking away, confident swagger in his step as he passed in front of your siblings, and Silena wondered how many of them were holding back the urge to let go of their arrow as he crossed them.
Still, Ethan had to make good on his word, so he found himself approaching Luke again. Rummaging around in his pockets, Ethan presented him with 200 dollars in cash. Luke raised an eyebrow, not bothering with words.
“This should take care of everything for the dance. I’m sure you don’t own anything presentable so this is for a new outfit, flowers for her, whatever. As long as she comes to the dance.” Luke stared at him, and was disgusted at what he was feeling. He might’ve been growing a conscience, something that would be greatly inconvenient for his life as the scary, unsociable older guy at camp.
“I’m sick of your game,” He said finally, pushing the cash back towards Ethan, who frowned. Luke got the distinct feeling he’d never been told no before — except by you, of course. Ethan exaggerated a huff and reached back into his pocket, pulling out one more hundred dollar bill. Luke faltered. He was sick of hurting you, but three hundred dollars was a lot of money. And without any way of making income as a year-rounder it was only more attractive. So Luke swallowed his pride and his morals and took the money. Though, getting you to ever consider going out with him again was basically a hopeless case.
So Luke began his new quest of getting you to speak to him again. He’d shown up to the Lava Wall full of audacity and enthusiasm, and waited patiently in line as you helped the other kids, pretending you couldn’t see him. When it was clear he wasn’t going to leave — or have his turn on the climbing wall — until you acknowledged him, you rolled your eyes aggressively.
“What are you doing here?” You snapped, gesturing for the Athena kid standing behind Luke to have her turn.
“I want to improve my time,” He smiled, and you could tell he thought he was being cute. You only partly secretly agreed.
“You’re so…” You trailed off, unable to find a word appropriate for your audience of children.
“Charming?” He asked, and there was that smile again. “Wholesome?”
“Unwelcome,” You settled on, turning back to your duties.
“You’re not as mean as you think you are, you know that?” You froze for a second, then told the kid waiting to start to hold on until you could get rid of him.
“And you’re not as badass as you think you are.”
“Ohh, someone still has their panties in a twist!”
“Don’t for one minute think that you had any effect whatsoever on my panties,” You scoffed, subconsciously adjusting your denim shorts.
“Then what did I have an effect on?” Despite the two of you clearly arguing, there was a surprisingly vulnerable look in his eyes. You ignored it.
“Other than my upchuck reflex? Nothing.” You turned on your heel, making it clear the conversation was over.
You were absent from that night’s campfire, which Luke was grateful for since Percy and Beckendorf had much to say about the plan, none good.
“So she’s still majorly pissed,” Percy started and Luke snorted.
“Yeah, got that, genius.”
“Well the question is, how do you stop a girl from being mad?” Beckendorf asked, and Luke could only cringe at how they sounded. With the way the three of them were talking, any passerby would surely think they were three prepubescent virgins. From next to them, Annabeth sighed harshly.
“Look, Luke. You embarrassed her, her ego’s taken a hit. Devastating for any girl, especially damaging for a daughter of Aphrodite. You need to get on her level; even the score and embarrass yourself for her.” The boys sat back, stunned. One by one they processed the instructions, nodding slowly. Thank the Gods for Annabeth Chase was the only thing Luke could think.
With much planning and a little bit of outside involvement (Luke swapped some of his chores with Clarisse’s to get her to agree), the plan was set in motion.
“C’mon, it’ll be fun. We can make fun of the little kids singing Disney songs?” Clarisse lay on your bed as you cleaned your bunk area and you looked at her skeptically.
“Why tonight? We never go to the sing alongs.”
“Dunno,” She shrugged, “Something to do. Plus, summer’s almost over and soon we won’t get to spend any time together.” You grinned, reaching over to pinch her cheek lightly.
“Aw,” You cooed, “I knew you liked me deep down.” Clarisse swatted your hand away but smiled nonetheless, and the two of you stayed huddled up on your bunk gossiping until dinner.
Swayed by Clarisse’s begging, the two of you ended up at the sing along, much too close to the front for your liking. You struggled through the karaoke songs, only staying to commentate to Clarisse. You’d heard one too many awful renditions of classic childhood pop songs when the amphitheatre went quiet, no one knowing who was meant to be leading the next song.
“You’re just too good to be true,” The voice rang out into the night, unaccompanied voice making you gasp immediately in recognition. This was your favourite song, but hardly anyone knew that. It was the song you used to dance to with your dad when you were a kid, before you even knew you were a demigod.
“Can’t take my eyes off of you.” People were murmuring now, trying to figure out where the voice was coming from and who it belonged to — no one who’d sung before for sure.
“You feel like heaven to touch, I wanna hold you so much,” You gasped again as you saw the figure emerge from the darkness. Luke Castellan was singing at the camp sing along. You couldn’t hold in your giggle as he continued to sing a cappella, coming into the light of the stage. He seemed to be searching for something though, eyes roving over the audience.
“Can’t take my eyes off of you.” His eyes locked with yours; he found what he was looking for. Before you could dwell on the incredibly cheesy act, music swelled to life, the Apollo musicians seemingly having learnt the piece beforehand. You wondered how much planning went into this. Your joy only increased as Luke began to dance; dorky, outdated moves that made you laugh out loud — a sound so unfamiliar that a few campers had to look back to check it was really you. You laughed and clapped along with everyone else, thoroughly enjoying Luke embarrassing himself in front of the whole camp.
The performance had to end at some point though, and you found yourself rising out of your seat to give a standing ovation, whooping and cheering along with everyone else. By chance you caught a glance of Clarisse’s face to see her already watching you, a satisfied look evident on her face. You were confused for a second before a memory struck you — a late night on the roof trading drunk secrets and stories where you told her about your childhood connection to Can’t Take My Eyes Off Of You. You were floored, and also kind of flattered. You knew it would have taken a lot for Luke to go to Clarisse for help — she was scary when she was pissed, and she was definitely pissed at Luke after the party.
You felt that little ball of light start to flicker in your chest again, and you were scared. But more than that you were excited. Despite everything else about you, you were a daughter of Aphrodite and a teenage girl, and the most romantic thing to ever happen at camp just happened to you. You guessed Luke had probably grovelled enough, and you would’ve told him that immediately if he hadn’t been swarmed by campers congratulating or laughing at him. Deciding you couldn’t put yourself in the middle of that crowd, you settled on telling him in the morning.
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wasabi-gumdrop · 1 day
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thinking about modern au Kabru
ivy league college student, probably studying law and political science on a full scholarship. first time living away from Milsiril so he has to promise her, yes mom i’ll call you at least four times a week, no mom i don’t need your amex black card, yes mom the normal credit card is fine i need to learn how to budget like a Normal Person (it has a limit of $20k — that’s not normal Kabru).
Milsiril insists for a long time that she’ll just get him a house off campus so he can have his own space (aka a place she can drop by anytime and possibly live a few months out of the year just to be close to him) but Kabru puts his foot down and tells her the best way he’s gonna make friends is by living with other students (bye mom).
his floor in the coed dorms is the party floor and he always makes sure to invite everybody (his nightmare is accidentally leaving anyone out and having them think that he doesn’t like them). somehow it’s always a good time, everyone leaves with more friends than they came with, it never gets totally out of control, and plenty of girls who are interested in him (and a lot of guys too tbh) bring tons of baked treats so there’s always free food. Kabru is the RA’s favourite person to have in the building (even though Kabru himself is messy but most of the people he’s friends with are nice and clean up after themselves).
he has a porsche (Milsiril gift for his 16th bday) but he’s adamant about not driving it unless he absolutely has to (because he doesn’t wanna look like a douche). BUT he never says no when his friends ask for rides (so he ends up driving all the time anyway). he actually contemplates selling the porsche and going for a more practical car but Mickbell is like ‘dude you are not taking this away from me.’ Kabru sighs and decides to keep it because his friends (Mickbell) like being chauffeured around in a fancy convertible (Rin, Holm, and Dia don’t care, they’re just glad they don’t have to walk to the grocery store).
he’s probably on a casual texting basis with most of his professors and you know he’s going to all their office hours, grabbing beer with them just to keep chatting about life outside of school. and that’s how he winds up in some super secret faculty group chat where he’s now privy to all the college administration gossip.
Kabru is elected for student council during his freshman year and he’s probably the favourite to be sc president one day.
he doesn’t really date (gets too in his head about how he doesn’t wanna ruin any friendships) but he does hang out one on one with a lot of girls and treats them all really well. he probably goes so far out of his way to be platonic that he flies a little too close to the ‘Just Like One of the Girlies’ sun, he kinda forgets that most people interpret it as flirting coming from him. which leads to a few awkward conversations. people feeling led on, a few angry jealous boyfriends, scathing dms about him being a girl stealing homewrecker.
it’s such a nightmare for him and he needs it to end right now. so he begs Rin to ‘date’ him for a week or two and then publicly dump him just so the entire student body gets the message that he is Just A Friend.
Rin stares at him for a few seconds. then she laughs. she laughs and laughs. she laughs for a crazy long time. and then eventually she goes, ‘wow you’re an asshole, Kabru. no i won’t be your fake girlfriend. you’re gonna suffer and i’m going to enjoy it.’
and that’s when Kabru has a moment of enlightenment. ok yeah. asking for that is probably really selfish and mean. maybe he needs to think about girls’ feelings more and that’s maybe more important than his deep seated need to be liked, and when has Rin ever been wrong about anything.
he apologizes. and so begins one of the more serious talks he’s ever had with Rin about being okay with not being liked.
he thinks he can really turn over a new leaf. the whole ‘not worrying about what other people think’ thing goes pretty well — up until Kabru meets the aloof professor for his Monsters and Myths class who keeps forgetting and mispronouncing his name.
Kabru has never needed someone to like him So Bad, he needs Prof. Touden to like him as a matter of life and death, and he’s willing to look stupid for it (fails a midterm on purpose to justify begging for one on one tutoring)
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#these past two weeks have been so intense that ive just.. not spoken about it once i got home from work#blocked it all out#my beloved colleague whose desk is next to mine has cancer#breast and uterus. she needs two major surgeries#they just diagnosed her two weeks ago#so we've been trying to deal with that as colleagues and friends#because we love and miss her and i am so deeply sad as well#but i feel like i couldn't process that at all bc two days after the news of her diagnosis i was asked to take on half of her work#on top of my fulltime#which i agreed to do bc i like her tasks and i want to help her and i also know i can do it#but it does feel very off bc i know i don't earn enough money for this workload to be long term and it is def like this#for the coming four months at least#so i did tell my manager that i would like a raise and. that bitch told me to BUY MORE SECOND HAND SHIT.#i seriously thought i saw my life flash before my eyes#then the day after she asked one of my colleagues who's been with the firm for over 30 years whether she was looking for another job maybe?#which caused that colleague to instantly go home in tears and be home from basically a nervous breakdown the past 1.5 week#which is her full right and i support her with all my heart but bc my management sucks it meant that we had to also carry her tasks ofc#i felt soooo spread thin and super super angry actually but i didn't even realise how angry i was until last thursday my colleague w cancer#came by the office. and talked about all of it. and i suddenly realised how sad i was but then also how angry#but i was just blocking it all out trying to stay afloat#bc we told her about what the manager had said and she said “i hope that i get the chance to really tell her how it is someday.”#“because the stress she causes with people can actually kill you. just look at me.”#and the rest of the day i felt so ready to be done with everything actually#but seeing her anger made me see my own anger#and released me of my own pent up emotions bc i had actual leg pains this week and it was purely psychosomatic#i then managed to tell some friends yesterday about what was going on and their outrage spurred me on even more#so today i emailed hr. demanding a raise#doing this amount of work while constantly feeling like the house is on fire while also struggling financially seriously makes me suicidal#and i am not joking#so.. if nothing comes of that im leaving that job and not looking back
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nrdmssgs · 8 months
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Kissing König on the forehead
Masterlist Kissing Ghost on the forehead Kissing Price on the forehead
TW: mentions of social anxiety
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His life consists of you. Literally: you have become the measure of everything. There are no more 'Fridays' or 'Novembers' - there are days, weeks and months, until he sees you again. No more rooms in his house - there is a wall to which he pressed his back, giving you more space to pass by, when he first saw you. There is a stove where you burned your fingers, making his heart ache when he saw your tears for the first time. There is a window, by which he fell on his knees and frantically stroked and kissed your hands, after he heard your timid confession. Anything beautiful he witnessed, anything meaningful he heard or read, made sense, only when he thought, how would he share it with you.
König knows, It's too much, his eagerness to be by your side constantly, his hunger for your touch, his feelings - he is too much. And he is afraid, so terribly and utterly afraid, that one day you see it too and leave him. So he restrains himself, tries to be less vocal, clasps his hands around his elbows to not hug you every minute, he is around. König carefully plans every conversation, you two will have, when he is back from deployment. Sometimes these imaginary chats end good, other times - you yell at him, but what is even worse - you cry. Your tears, even ones, he imagines pain him so badly - he immediately takes out his phone and texts you.
"I am so sorry, Schatz."
He snaps back to reality only when he gets your worried answer. Of course, you get scared and want to know, what happened. So he has to come up with some excuse.
"I am sorry for not being right now with you. I know, it's evening back at home, and you are probably watching some show, and I remember, how you like cuddling, while doing it. I'm sorry for not being there."
König finally puts the phone away, hissing at himself for this episode.
When he finally returns, you refuse to wait for him at home and come straight to the station. He allows himself to squeeze you in his arms, but deep inside his head, König counts. "One-two-three-four-five-it's time to let her go, you can't just stand there and embarrass her with your tenderness in front of everyone. You are becoming too much once again."
You interrupt his inner tirade. "Let's go home, love."
An entrance door shuts behind his back, and he finally takes a deep breath in, feeling the familiar scents of your shared house. König hears some strange repeating noise, lowers his eyes and notices that you are immersed in the fight with a jamming zipper on your jacket. On the very next moment, he kneels before you, moves your hands away from the zipper and tries to figure it out himself. It takes him a while, because he is afraid to pull too hard, finally destroying the jacket. You look at him warmly and laugh softly. "König don't worry, I can handle it."
At that moment, zipper finally breaks. König frowns.
"You couldn't just mind your business, you idiot? Now she is going to finally see, how overwhelming you are, how you break everything, you care for, how you smother those, who you love. Is that what you wanted?" An angry voice inside his head shouts and silences everything around, including König himself. He doesn't feel his lips starting to tremble, forming some apologetic mumbling. He doesn't hear, when you try to reassure him.
So you take a quick step forward, and embrace him, pressing your lips against his forehead. Maybe that angry voice exists only in his head, but it's not the first time, you witness König tearing himself apart for no reason.
"You are overthinking again, love. But its going to be ok, I promise." Another kiss on his forehead.
"You are not overwhelming to be with, you are not annoying. No." By this time, you know all the terrifying things König's mind whispers and shouts to itself.
"No one is going to get tired and leave you. Especially not me." You kiss his closed eyes, not caring for remains of dark camouflage paint on his skin.
"You are overthinking, and it is ok, because it shows, that you really care. It's not your fault." You press your lips against his face, so that he not only hears, but also feels, what you are saying.
And that silents Königs anxiety and self-doubt. He suddenly feels tired, but endlessly loved. He finally comes back home, pulling you into a long and tight embrace, not counting seconds this time.
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sillysillygoofygoose · 10 months
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Older! Boyfriend Toji x Fem Reader pt. 2
MDNI! EXPLICIT CONTENT AHEAD
CW: weapon play
18+ Headcanons:
Older! Toji, who was definitely a fuck-friend, before he was a boyfriend. At first, it was a once a week occasion, almost like an appointment. Slowly it became twice a week, then four times a week, then almost every night. It became an addiction like no other. He began craving you whenever you weren't with him.
"You free tonight baby? Need to fuck you so bad... haven't seen you in three days, fuck."
Older! Toji who fell first... and swears it was some work of black magic.
"Don't know what you're doing to me, Mama." Toji groans fucking you from behind, watching as a ring of white cream forms at the base of his cock. His hips speed up by the second, realizing that he isn't just feeling lust.
"Tightest, prettiest little pussy I've ever fucked. Sweetest, prettiest girl I've ever met. Put a fucking spell on me."
Older! Toji who is not loud in bed. Sorry to my girls that love the moaners and the whimpering sluts 😔. You'll get groans, grunts, and tons of dirty talk but THAT'S IT.
When you're having make-up sex or when he's angry, he won't make a sound. Just heavy breathing and hard fucking. Kinda scary tbh.
Older! Toji who loves it fucking disgusting. Sloppy, wet, hot, you name it. His favorite thing is to lay down and watch you choke and slobber all over his dick. Chokes you just to have drool spill out of your mouth. Cums all over you, having his seed collect on your shaking body. He's absolutely dead set on making you squirt, training your body as regularly as possible.
Older! Toji who loves experimenting with his knives and handguns in the bedroom. Whether it be pressing his Glock 19 to your forehead while fucking you against the wall, or pressing a blade to your neck while marking you up, he loves the way the danger always makes your breath hitch. Don't worry though, he always takes the bullets out, always uses the dull side of the knife... he'd never be able to forgive himself if something actually happened to you. (When he has basic human empathy 😍🤤)
Older! Toji who first confessed after fucking you raw, going three rounds. He was struck with jealousy after you invited him out to a bar, instead of your apartment like you have been doing routinely for about 5 months. He was having a good time, joking with you, feeling his heart beat a little faster every time your face lit up and your laugh rang out.
Everything was just jolly until some fucking guy walked up to you, introducing himself as Satoru. He began practically begging to buy you a drink, claiming that he's only seen a beauty like yours in a dream about a wild forest goddess he had when he got high for the first time in 9th grade.
Toji rolled his eyes, scoffing at the man who was currently making a fool out of himself. You, on the other hand, found the man's antics amusing, giggling while you allowed him to carry on about his dream, detailing the way the goddess walked towards him, blessing him. You could smell the alcohol on his breath as he informed you that the scene was an exact replica of you walking into the bar.
By the time you got back to your apartment, Toji was less than pleased.
"Oh, C'mon Toji! It was funny. I mean, you really didn't get a kick out of him?" You pest as he walks in, taking off his size 13 boots.
"Tsk, no. He was a drunken idiot. Goddess my ass, he wouldn't know how to worship you."
That night, Toji fucked you sweeter than he ever did before. You expected to have your insides rearranged the second you walked through the door. Something was different. The air around you felt and smelled different as your breathless moans occupied the room. More tender, more purposeful, more...intimate. He worshipped you head to toe.
Once he pulled out, he uttered three sentences that changed your relationship forever...
"You're mine, I'm yours. I want you, I need you. I love you."
He reminds you of this moment from time to time, repeating the same three sentences. Not after you fuck, but after you make love.
Hope you enjoyed! Xoxo
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cleolinda · 10 days
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I’ve read a few of the umpteen thousand upset comments about the paid Watcher service, and I’ve read comments angry about the upset comments. There’s one thing I want to point out, and it’s that this isn’t, or shouldn’t be, “You’re saying people don’t deserve to earn money for their work.”
The Watcher guys do deserve to earn money. I already give them money. I give them $5 a month on Patreon, not because I think they do or don’t give me $5 worth of media, but because I want to support them. I canceled Netflix for pissing me off with its price hike/ad tier, but I give Watcher Entertainment money.
They’re saying now that the Patreon will be solely about the podcasts, and they understand if people leave. I’m perfectly happy to switch the support I can afford to the streaming service. With the early adopter 30% discount, I’d actually save money. In fact, I tried to subscribe, but the site didn’t work.
Watcher wanting to profit from their shows isn’t the problem. It’s that they’re now discovering that their fanbase is young and broke in a terrible economy, judging by tens of thousands of comments on multiple platforms. I can throw them $5/month, so I do. But the Patreon only has (checks notes) 5874 paying followers, and there’s a reason for that. $60/year upfront would not be “accessible.” Patreon is literally patronage from the people who can afford it.
If the guys had said up front, “ONLY new shows and episodes will be exclusive to the service,” I think we’d be having a different conversation right now. But at first they did say, “We’re pulling all our content from YouTube,” to the point where Variety had to issue an update. Like, that’s in print and I’m pretty sure it was on video. Now they’ve backtracked to ONLY new etc.—but most people haven’t heard, and they feel crushed. And the trust is probably gone regardless.
So now four years of back catalogue will stay public. And now, you’re paying $6.99 a month for one episode, maybe two, of something a week, and now, not an exclusive back catalogue. I would pay for Watcher shows before I’d pay for anyone else, but I just don’t think the company is big enough yet for a SVOD at that price. They’re not Dropout size. They needed to build more programming and get a higher follower count first, or at the very least, charge less.
The international price/exchange rate situation is a nightmare and I don’t know what it is they’re not doing to make it… not… be like that.
I don’t know what they should have done instead of a full streaming service, but surely there were alternatives? I’ve seen comments from people suggesting they GET a Patreon. Lean on that more! Do the shows exclusive for a month and then let them roll onto YouTube! I don’t know! Anything but One More Fucking Streaming Service, which enraged me, and I was willing to move my support to it!
And I shouldn’t say this, but I will. In the “Goodbye YouTube” video the guys posted, they say that setting up the streaming service has allowed Steven to do a remake of Worth It where he and his cohosts travel the world and eat expensive food. This is the first new show they announce. Not “We have always been committed to diversity and we’re now able to bring on new creator(s) to expand our programming.” No, a redo of an old show that by definition has got to be expensive. Commenters are saying they can’t pay for the streaming service because they can’t make ends meet in this economy. The optics are terrible. I genuinely question what the thought process even was here.
I love the guys and I still watch their shows. I want to see Watcher succeed. I started watching Buzzfeed Unsolved in 2018 while recovering from surgery—as with a lot of people, their shows got me through a tough time. I’m as attached as anyone. If I can continue to afford monthly support—this is not a certainty—I’ll give it to them. I’m not a ~hater who doesn’t want Watcher to make money. But I am absolutely BAFFLED by every single decision here. I want them to figure out how to turn this around and go in a better direction, because right now, this ain’t it.
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imaginesforeons · 5 months
Text
One Word (Yandere!Toji x Reader)
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~All he wants is a name~
CW: Previous abusive relationships. Current abusive relationship. Yandere!Toji. Kidnapping. Implied NSFW(kinda).
Word Count: 950
Reqs are OPEN! At the top of my page you can see what fandoms I write for, so DM me with your ideas!
.-.-.
Your hand squeezed the doorknob so hard you swore you heard your knuckles crack. Trembling, you let your sweaty forehead rest against the bathroom door, closing your eyes.
“Come on, sweetheart,” Toji crooned from the other side of the door. “All you have to do is give me a name. Just one word, then it’ll all be over.”
Even though he couldn’t see you, you shook your head. “No. I don’t want anyone else to get hurt because of me.”
From the other side of the door you heard a thump. When Toji spoke again, his voice was louder. He was probably leaning against it. “Really? You’re trying to protect the guy that beat on you for three months?”
“Toji,” you said. You knew how much he loved it when you said his name. Maybe it would make him go easy on you, and you could escape today without any blood on your hands. “He’s not here. When I left him, he never even looked back. I bet he doesn’t even remember my name.”
You bit your tongue until you tasted the salty tang of blood as you waited for his response. On the other side of the door he was silent; you couldn’t even hear his breath, and you were surprised that he hadn’t forced his way in yet.
It was a courtesy, you knew. Ever since Toji brought you - kidnapped you - to his home in a secluded countryside, he had removed all the locks in the house, except for the front door and windows, the former of which he had the only key, while the latter he had bolted shut. The only reason he hadn’t pushed into the bathroom was out of some misplaced respect for you. Or maybe he was having fun.
He was probably having fun.
It seemed like you were destined to have one abusive relationship after another. Your first boyfriend was notorious for his gaslighting of you, and you had to deal with a year of feeling like you were crazy until you finally caught on. Your second boyfriend had seemed, at first, to be a little better. Until you found out you were the other woman, and he had a wife and two kids with a third on the way. Your third boyfriend had worked slower. While you had dated and broken up with the other two in a span of a year or less, this one had worked with a deadly patience.
Your honeymoon phase lasted two years before any dangerous signs decided to show themselves. At first, you excused it by saying he was stressed, an excuse which would damn you. He would come home angry, shout at you, pick at every little mistake you made, then leave again. But he’d make it better the next day, bringing you gifts, cleaning the house, and taking you out to picture perfect dates. Later, you would learn that this was called love bombing. You thought it would get better, but each day it only got worse, building to a deadly climax.
It got worse and worse until one night, you found yourself out on the street, fleeing from your boyfriend and nursing a broken wrist. That was how you met Toji. He took you to the hospital, and after you left your boyfriend, you couldn’t say anything but yes when he asked you out on a date. Your reprieve lasted only three weeks, until one day you woke up in a strange bed, in a strange house, and Toji explained that you’d never leave.
Four months later, and you were here, hiding in the bathroom from a man that could break the door down with one hand. He had demonstrated his inhuman strength dozens of times, and though he’d never laid a hand on you, every time you saw him crumple a doorknob in with a single squeez, or snap a crowbar in half like a twig, you were left shaking.
“Listen, babe,” Toji said. “You know I love your loyalty, but my patience will only last so long. You just have to give me a name, and I’ll do the rest.”
You felt your heart plummet.
“Please,” you whispered. “Please, Toji, I don’t want anyone else to die because of me.”
Toji snorted. “Why? Don’t tell me you still love him. A guy like that doesn’t deserve anything from you.”
You wondered if he could hear how ironic that statement was, coming from him. 
“No!,” you cried swiftly. “I just don’t want to be reminded of him again, that’s all. Toji, I never loved him-” a lie “-I’ve only ever cared for you!” Another lie, but maybe this one would make him give up.
There was silence from the other side of the door, lasting long enough that you felt hope start to bloom in your chest. Then you heard a familiar sound that made your eyes sting anew, a sound like the crumpling of a soda can. Toji had just crushed the bathroom’s door handle.
It was useless, but you still pushed back as he forced the door open. You still fought when he swept you into his arms. You snarled and cursed when he threw you onto the bed, because while Toji might be dangerous, he had never turned his anger towards you. You turned your head away when he tried to kiss you, but he only took your face in one calloused hand, holding it steady so he could place a quick kiss on your lips.
“I thought you already learned that what I want, I get,” Toji murmured. “By morning, I’ll be leaving with a name, no matter what.”
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britany1997 · 23 days
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Fate Yields For No One
Chapter Five
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Well y’all, it’s been a month so you know what that means:):) Hope you enjoy the next installment in the series! I can’t wait to show y’all how this fic is going to develop even further!
Poly Lost Boys x Max’s Daughter Reader
Comment to be added to my Taglist for this fic or for all my Lost Boys fics!
FYFNO Masterlist
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California, 1986
The boys were too stunned to speak.
Until Paul abruptly broke the silence with a resounding “what the fuck.”
You pulled away from Maria’s embrace when a familiar voice shattered your moment. You sighed, pushing your frustration down and turning to glare at the blond menace.
Unfortunately, he wasn’t alone.
The same feeling you’d had when you’d met Paul a couple weeks ago surged through you once more as you met eyes with each of his friends.
The bleach blond one looked disgusted, almost angry, with his eyes narrowed and his mouth fixed into a sneer.
The curly haired one bit his gloved thumb, his eyes skittered back and forth between you, Maria, and his friends. He bounced, shifting his weight back and forth from one foot to the other, practically vibrating.
The dark haired one was unreadable. Your eyes narrowed as you took in his expression. You searched for nervousness, anger, sadness, anything. But his face revealed nothing, it was almost intriguing.
Paul looked broken. His mouth slightly agape and his eyes resembling those of a kicked puppy. Despite his pitiful appearance, you couldn’t find it in yourself to feel any remorse.
You reminded yourself that you’d always been entitled to make your own damn choices.
The little utterances of “mine” that broke through their lips meant nothing to you. You had never belonged to anyone but yourself. And you had always been your own to give.
You crossed your arms and scowled, daring them to intrude any further on your time with Maria.
You felt a hand slide along your cheek, turning your head slowly until you were faced with your lover.
“Hey,” she soothed, staring into your eyes with a slightly nervous gaze. You softened immediately.
“It’s getting late, we’re already closed, and it seems like you need to talk this out,” she said gently.
You took her soft hands in your own. “No, please don’t go,” you pleaded, “it’s them who should leave.”
When she smiled, it didn’t reach her eyes.
“We’re working the night shift together tomorrow,” she reminded you, “figure this out ok? I’ll be here.”
She leaned in to kiss your cheek, “I’ll always be here for you ok?”
“Ok,” you whispered back as you stroked her face softly, causing a blush to rise on her cheeks.
Paul cleared his throat loudly and you shot him a glare that would have peeled paint.
Maria’s hand over yours calmed you down just a bit. She reassured you with a smile before she slipped out the front door.
With Maria gone, you were free to feel the depth of your frustration at the four men before you.
“What do you want?” You grit out through clenched teeth.
Paul threw up his hands, “what is wrong with you?”
Your face flushed red, half with embarrassment, and half with anger. You clenched your fists. Nothing was wrong with you. Something was clearly wrong with him because he couldn’t. take. a hint.
The dark haired vampire shot Paul a look that seemed to reign him in. Then he stepped forward to put himself between you and the three other men.
“I’m Dwayne,” he introduced himself gently, his face still devoid of any emotion.
“Ok,” you spat, “congratulations.”
His mask broke a bit, looking slightly taken aback by your hostility, but he quickly composed himself.
“We just want to talk,” he said, his hands up in a sort of surrender, “let us explain some things to you.”
Your eyes narrowed, and without Maria there to diffuse the situation, your arms crossed again.
“Explain things to me?” You felt rage bubbling up inside you, “what could you possibly have to explain to me?”
Dwayne, to his credit, maintained his calm, collected demeanor. The bleach blond however seemed to be seething behind him.
“It’s hard to know where to start…we’re your-”
“I know.” You cut him off.
“You know?”
“I know what you are, and I know what we are,” you flashed him your fangs.
The four boys couldn’t hide their shock. The bleach blond one pushed past Dwayne to stare you down. “You’re not a human,” he mused.
Dwayne placed a hand on his shoulder, “David…” he warned.
David rolled his shoulder to shove off Dwayne’s hand.
“Listen sweetheart,”
You scowled at the pointed nickname.
“You’re ours,” Paul cringed at David’s words.
“The sooner you get it through your thick head,” David tapped your forehead, causing you to bare your teeth, “the better.”
“Oh fuck,” Paul whispered.
You stared David down, your body shaking slightly in anger. “If you ever fucking touch me again I will rip your head from your shoulders and burn your decapitated body you arrogant asshole,” You hissed.
He hissed back, his fangs on full display.
“David please,” the curly hair vampire begged.
“Marko,” David turned to growl, “I won’t tolerate this kind of insubordination.”
You gripped the edge of the video store desk so hard you thought it might break off.
Dwayne yanked David back by his arm. With the way the bleach blond man glared at the him you thought they might come to blows.
“Do you think you’re helping right now?” Dwayne asked.
David rolled his eyes, “she’s disrespecting me, she’s disrespecting us.” he glared at you.
You scowled back, trying to seem unfazed by his egotistical display.
“Is that what she’s doing?” Dwayne asked, “or is she setting boundaries and making choices you don’t like?”
Your hostile face dissolved to shock. You weren’t expecting that kind of support.
“Love can’t be forced,” Dwayne continued, “you know that, I know you know that.”
David stared at Dwayne before sighing deeply.
You tensed when he moved towards you. “This isn’t over,” he hissed.
You scoffed, “yeah that’s what he said,” you hooked your thumb towards Paul, “I’ll tell you what I told him. It sure seems like it is.”
David’s eyes narrowed but he kept his mouth shut.
“C’mon boys,” he gestured for the men to follow him out of the store.
Dwayne didn’t even glance back as he left.
Marko shot you a longing look, but when you looked away, he sighed before following Dwayne out the door.
Paul lingered. He opened his mouth, only to close it, time after time.
“What do you want?” you scowled.
“We could make you happy,” he said in the softest voice you’d ever heard. “I could make you happy.”
You stared at him, his eyes full of hope and desire.
“If you really want me to be happy…”
He moved closer, hanging on every word you said. His fists clenched at his side, desperate to touch you but holding back.
“Then I need you to leave me alone.”
His face fell, any hope in his eyes had shattered and dissolved.
He turned away, dead heart breaking in his chest.
“Ok,” was all he could muster as he too disappeared from the store.
As soon as he’d slipped from sight, you rushed to the front door to flip the sign from open to closed.
Grateful for the solace that an empty store provided, you slunk to the back room to mull over the events of the night.
You slid down the door until you were seated, head in hands. Part of you wondered if it would be so bad to give in. The Dwayne guy seemed respectful and kind enough, and if you were honest with yourself, you weren’t unattracted to him either.
If you were really honest, you weren’t unattracted to any of them. Except that David asshole.
It wasn’t his face that bothered you, but his abismal attitude. He might as well have been Max Jr.
He didn’t own you. No one fucking did.
Then there was Maria.
Her beautiful face flashed through your mind. She was kind, she was brilliant, she was caring, and you could see yourself falling for her one day.
God you’d had your first kiss with Maria tonight and you were thinking about those possessive vamps?
How could you ever consider trading her in for these four strangers with nothing but some kind of empty ‘claim’ on you.
You sighed.
You couldn’t deny that you’d felt the pull. You blamed your stupid, uncontrollable vampire instincts.
But what was lust, passion, and desire when compared with connection, comfort, and love?
Maria was the one you wanted. You chose her, and you’d do what you had to to keep her.
Whatever it took.
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thatanimeramenchick · 2 months
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Yandere Vox x Secretary Reader Pt. 3/Finale
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This is the finale. Ya’ll are not talking me into another one.
Word count: 4,313
Part One - Part Two
---
You had a lot of time to think before you saw Vox again.
Your little spat had kept him from visiting you for about a week and a half, which was fine by you. He was often so busy he only visited you every other day or so even before your blowout. It would have been more than fine by you if you weren’t completely alone that entire time, having nothing to do but live with your depressing thoughts. Thoughts that always led you back to the same dark place at the end of the day.
Despair.
In your heart, you knew there was nothing you could do to get out of the situation. Kick and scream as you would you weren’t leaving. It was only going to be a matter of time before all of his patience evaporated, and he really lost it with you. And while a part of you wanted to hold out that he would give up or die before then, the logical part of your mind knew he would snap way before that happened. You didn’t even want to know what he would do to you then. If you came to some kind of arrangement you could tell yourself you had at least agreed to things on a surface level, even if it had been something you didn’t want to do. So, your mind had been whirling like crazy, trying to come up with a plan of some kind of a proposal that would make you feel like you had at least a little control.
Besides, you had been locked up in here for what, four month? You had turned it over and over and over in your mind. While it was true you might have to wait a small eternity before you found a way out of his arms, it was going to take just as long to get out of here even without the contract. At least with one you’d be able to leave regularly and try to work something out.
By the time he had finally decided to grace you with his presence again, you had worked out a shoddy idea of how you want this to go.
This would be fine. He had accepted your apology well enough, seeming to take a certain pleasure in your partially feigned shame and timidity. You had even managed to wrap your arms around him for a few seconds as you asked for forgiveness. While his initial reaction was to look at you with some surprise, his face has soon changed to one of self-satisfied indulgence, and he had caressed your head with a patronizing touch. How could he remain angry at you when he cared so much for you and you were clearly so sorry for your behavior?
Now that you were actually sitting beside him though, you weren’t sure you actually wanted to go through with the rest of your plan. He was on his phone, no doubt checking something for work. You bounced your legs, crossed at the knee, working up the courage to say what you wanted to.
You cleared your throat.
“Vox? I-I wanted to ask you a question,” you said.
He looked up from his phone.
“If it’s all right, I would like to go out to dinner,” you said, “In an actual restaurant.”
“And I would let you out, why?” he asked.
This was going to be the hard part, forcing yourself to actually say the words.
“If you let me out of here for a little while, I-I’d give you something you want,” you said, “Something you’ve wanted for a while.”
You sucked in a hurried breath, suppressing the urge to shudder.
“It could even be a formal deal,” you said, words rushed together now that you had worked up the courage to say them, “If you take me out for the evening, dinner and a hotel, I’ll let you do whatever you want with me afterwards. I’ll even consider the contract.”
You made yourself look him in the eyes, your body stiff. You forced yourself to smile at him, but with how strained it felt, you didn’t doubt that Vox could see how fake it was. There was only so much you could fake about actually wanting this. Despite your obvious discomfort though, Vox’s looked at you thoughtfully, as if actually considering the proposal.
“Why not just sign the contract now?” he asked, “If you’re serious about being cooperative why hold it out?”
“I want to be sure it’s something I actually want to agree to,” you said, “L-like a test run.”
He smirked, “So you’re saying you want to take the car for a ride before buying it?”
You avert your gaze, feeling your face heat up.
“S-sure, yeah,” you said, “I mean, it only makes sense that I see what it’s like before I commit permanently.”
He was quiet for a minute before a satisfied looked crossed his face.
“All right. What the hell, why not? Let’s make it official then. We agree that, if I take you out to dinner in a real restaurant and then to a hotel, let’s say on Saturday, you’ll do whatever I want that night?” he asked, holding out his hand.
You listened. It was obvious to you that he was using carefully planned out words, as Overlord’s often did in their deals and contracts, making sure that it was clear on both ends what would be expected and fulfilled. A part of you also wanted to make sure he didn’t slip anything in there that would trap you in over your head even more, which was a common tactic with demons.
“… Except make another deal or contract,” you said.
“Except make another deal or contract.”
You supposed that this was as good as it was gonna get. You took his hand hesitantly.
It hurt. It felt like a shock of static had gone through you, a little painful but more annoying than anything. Over as soon as it started. Blue light had near blinded you for a second before dissipating as well. You felt a small tug on your chest somewhere deep inside, probably in your soul somewhere. Not too apparent, but it had been there nonetheless. You rubbed your arms a bit, the lingering spark cooling.
“I trust you’re not going to do anything stupid like trying to run off,” Vox said.
“Do I look like a moron to you?” you said, the words out more resentful than you intended.
“Of course not. But you and I both know you’ve been a bit out of sorts lately,” he said, “Acting irrationally.”
“Couldn’t imagine why,” you said sarcastically
You feel your face contort in fear as the last word hangs in the air and Vox raises an eyebrow at you. Shit. He stares at you blankly for a minute taking a strand of hair in his claws, causing you to flinch. He smirks at that.
“Hmph, well, I suppose you just need some stress relief,” he said, “Which I’ll be more than happy to assist you with very, very soon.”
---
You were filled with apprehension the night of the outing. Your stomach turned as you sat in the restaurant, so stressed from your situation that you had a headache. At least, that’s what you told yourself it was, as the alternative reason was much more unpleasant. Part of you wondered if your nerves were a wreck from your confinement. You hadn’t been out around people in forever. Even if it was a relatively short time period, it was clear that being isolated for so long was having an affect on your mental durability in public. Everything just felt like it was too much. The loud noises of the city and bright lights in the restaurant unnerved you. You just wanted to take a remote and turn down the intensity of the room.
You supposed alcohol made a good substitute for that.
You started pouring yourself another cup, some of the wine spilling onto the table as you overfilled it. Before you could pick it up though, Vox took it.
“Hey, give that back,” you said, unable to grasp it as he held it out of your reach.
“F/N, you’re going to pass out at this rate,” Vox said.
“S-so?” you said.
“So I don’t want to drag a half dead woman around town for people to gawk at,” he said.
You tense as he wraps an arm around your shoulder and pulls you closer to him.
“And… I would prefer it if you actually were awake when we spend time together tonight,” he said.
Well, clearly Vox wasn’t as stupid as you’d been hoping. He never was. You had partially been downing alcohol like it was water in the hopes that you’d be so out of it that whatever gross fantasies he fulfilled with you would be lost in a hazy blur. You didn’t want to remember it when you woke up in the morning.
“… of course,” you said.
“Why don’t you eat some more?” he said, “Try to clear your mind.”
You didn’t really want to though. You liked shrimp, but something about this dish was making you feel nauseous. You weren’t sure if it had gone bad or if you just weren’t in the mood stomach anything knowing what was going through his head. Not wanting to irritate him though, you picked at the dish a little. Damn it, you had done this to have one more night of imagined partial freedom, and you couldn’t even do that. Pathetic.
“I don’t feel well,” you whined, “It’s too loud in here. And the light is hurting my eyes. Can’t someone turn it down?”
“You’re so needy, dearest,” Vox said, but he called your waitress over.
“Dim the lights for us,” he said.
The waitress looked a little nervous.
“What do you not know how to turn down a light?” he asked.
“No! I do! It’ll just be a second!” she said.
She brought over a spare chair and stood on it, trying to reach the light. One of her large horns twisted in the glass beads, getting tangle.
“I know what I’m doing! I promise,” she said, looking panicked.
You weren’t so sure about that as she lost her footing and she swung off the chair, kicking her feet erratically through the air. Not wanting to get smacked in the face you ducked. You wondered if the alcohol had knocked you out and this was just some weird hangover dream.
“What the hell is wrong with you?” Vox yelled.
“I’m sorry! I’m sorry, I just-!”
Before she could finish, the chandelier could no longer take her weight and fell onto the table and floor, shattering into a million pieces, wire torn and dragged out from the ceiling. The electric charge in them was still quite strong though, some of them sparking with a life of their own, twisting and sputtering.
“What the fUuuuUUUUUUUUUuuuuuuuuuuuuuuckkkk-k-k-k?”
Before Vox could move out of the way the wire had made contact with one of the openings on the back of his head, sending him shocking and jolting. His face flew through a hundred different images, colors flying across it as static burst from his head. His entire body jolted as it overflowed with electricity.
“Oh my gosh! I’m so sorry!” the waitress shrieked.
“I-I… c-c-c-ca-a-an’t…” Vox tried to speak, his entire head buzzing at the overload of electricity before he slumped over, knocked out. His screen was all black. As he went out, he fell forward and the wire disconnected. The sparking and burning had stopped, but there was a foul smell in the air, like something was burning.
You watched as your waitress started to panic.
“Oh, shit, shit, shit,” she said, “I’m so, so sorry! L-let me get my boss! We’ll fix this!”
Several other wait staff had walked over, and even some other customers turned their heads at the commotion. This was going to look really bad on the restaurant if they didn’t do something. At some point, you saw the waitress hurrying back, her boss with her. As they neared, more people crowded around the scene.
“Are you ok, ma’am? Are you hurt at all?” a waiter asked, helping you stand and move away from the wires and glass.
“I’m fine,” you mumbled.
It had all happened so fast you barely had time to mentally catch up to what was happening. The waiter walked you over to a nearby empty table, sitting you down.
“Why don’t you just wait here?” he said.
“O-ok, sure…” you said.
You stared at the scene of panicked people for a minute, brain fuzzy, before standing up. No one even glanced in your direction as you started to wander towards the entrance of the building. It wasn’t like people knew who you were or cared, and everyone had seen what had happened. They were all too worried about Hell’s biggest media manager to notice you.
I’m not running away. Of course not. It’s not like there’s anywhere to go anyway.
But your body was telling a different story as it pushed passed the waitstaff to the door. You walked out of the building, shaking a little from your inebriated state. You could do this though. You could walk a straight line. Right, you could do this. It’s not like you were running away. No, you weren’t that stupid. Just taking a little walk. Just one foot in front of the other. Left, right, left, right- Escape. Escape. Now’s your chance. Find a place with no cameras. Don’t let him catch you. Don’t let him find you. Don’t-
Hurk.
No, no, no. This wasn’t the time to get sick. But either you were too stressed or that shrimp really must have gone bad, because there was no holding back what wanted to come out. Before you knew it, you were bent over the public trash can vomiting up the little you had been eating and the fountain of wine you had been drinking.
“You all right, dear?” you heard someone saying
I’m puking over an outdoor trash bin, genius, what do you think?
You hurled for a few more seconds before pausing, coughing a little. You took a deep breath before looking up woozily at the concerned face who was looking down at you. And you really had to look up, not only because you were still learning over the trash can, but because of how tall the person was that you had been talking you. Once you laid eyes on him, you would have gasped if your throat didn’t burn with acid.
“A-Alastor?” you managed to choke out.
“The one and only, darling,” he said, “Glad to know my reputation proceeds me.”
He was taller than you had imagined, and his face disconcerting. While you had seen pictures and drawings, they had not been able to quite capture the eerie cheerfulness that his smile held, so large against his thin frame. A suppressed chill ran through your body at the knowledge that you were talking to your boss’s proclaimed “nemesis.”
“W-what are you doing here?” you said.
“I beg your pardon?” he asked.
“N-no! Sorry, I just… I’ve never seen you in person,” you said, “I never thought I’d… Well, my boss h-hates you.”
While he continues to smile, you can tell by his eyes that he isn’t too impressed by your state. You probably smelled and looked as gross as you felt, half-drunk and wobbly.
“Does he now?” he asked.
“Y-yeah,” you continued, “You know him. The big ass TV demon with the red glowey eyes?”
“Oh, so you’re Vox’s then?” he said.
“No!” you said, a bit too forcefully, “I’m not Vox’s! I’m not anyone’s! I don’t want to be anyone’s.”
He tilts his head a bit.
“Is that so?” he said.
“Yeah, n-not yet at least, not ‘till t-tomorrow,” you murmur, waving your hand in front of your face, “Right now, there’s no contract though. S-so I’m… I’m not anybody’s. Least of all his.”
His eyes soften a bit at that, though there is still a coldness in them that is unmistakable.
“Well then,” he said, after a short silence, “I suppose I should leave you to get back to your evening. Word of advice though, elder to younger, don’t do anything that will lead to any permanent consequences you aren’t willing to fulfill.”
Like I haven’t considered that, asshole. I would literally rather sign a contract with anyone else.
Wait a minute. You look at him as he starts to turn away.
“W-wait! Mr. Alastor, sir,” you said, “I have to ask you something.”
The idea was solidifying as he turned to look at you.
“If I sold my soul to someone, no one else could have it, right?” you say, hurriedly, near silent.
“Your soul would no longer be yours, so no. Only the owner could sell it to another person,” he said, looking at you thoughtfully, “But that’s not usually something that people have to worry about.”
That damn smile on his face was really creeping you out. Maybe this wasn’t a good idea sitting in the back of your half drunk mind. But you know what? You didn’t really care. What choice did you have? You were in hell for crying out loud, every path seemed to lead to some kind of shit. But if you weren’t going to get what you wanted, neither was your unrequited admirer. This was Vox’s biggest enemy, right? Nothing would upset him more than knowing that not only would you never belong to him, but you belonged to the man he hated more than anything else.
That was more than enough reason for you.
“I want to sell you my soul,” you said.
He cocked his head thoughtfully.
“You must be in a desperate pinch to want that,” he said, “And what would you like in exchange, my dear?”
You hadn’t even really thought of that. Your only thought at the moment had been to make yourself inaccessible to Vox, and your mind was still kind of hazy. It only made sense you get something out of it though. Something decent. Through the fog, an idea crept into your mind.
“I… I want you to make it where I can’t show up on screens, like you,” you said, “I want to be impossible to capture on film.”
As you said the words you held out your hand.
“We have a deal,” he said.
And with that he clamped onto your hand with his own, the room glowing green with magic. While it pulsed with energy, it was nothing like what you had felt when you had made the deal with Vox. It was a warm flurry that filled you from head to toe. You could feel the sensation of something tightening around your chest, much tighter than when you had made your earlier deal. It crept all the way into your neck before you felt like you were going to choke it was so tight before finally disappearing. A part of you thought you were going to throw up again.
“You going to be all right there?” he asked.
“Y-yeah, I’m f-fine,” you manage, hands on your knees for a second.
Apparently that was a lie, as you literally spill your guts onto the pavement.
“I’ll take that as a no,” Alastor said.
You cough again, straightening. You felt a bit better after that one.
“S-sorry,” you mutter.
“No need to apologize, dearest,” he said, “Now, since we have come to an agreement, I think we should discuss some things.”
“Well, I’m not really-”
“F/N?”
You froze as you heard your name being called. You turned to see Vox walking down the stairs, his face back on. A chill ran through you. That was fast. Someone must have reached into his head and turned a switch to reset him. He looked a bit dazed still, but not enough to be too impaired by it.
“There you are,” he said, “I thought I was going to have to start looking through every camera in this city to find you. What did I tell you... about…”
He glared when he saw who was standing next to you.
“Get the hell away from my employee,” he said, immediately aggressive at the sight of his rival.
Alastor looked at Vox, his eyes holding amusement and his grin turning more mischievous.
“Hm… no, I don’t think so,” he said.
“Excuse me?” Vox said.
“I’m afraid she belongs to me now,” Alastor said.
“I’m sorry, she what?!” Vox’s voice cracking with static.
“Your employee – or should I says ex-employee – has made a binding deal with an Overlord, which means in exchange for a service I provided, she has given me h-”
“I know what a demonic deal is, dickwad!” he yelled.
“Well then, the situation should be perfectly clear to you,” Alastor said. You had no idea how he was able to remain so calm when it was so obvious that Vox was on the verge of exploding, perhaps literally. As severity of the situation dawned on him, he turned his burning, furious eyes on you.
“Are you fucking kidding me?” Vox said, “Of all the assholes in hell you choose to bind yourself to other than me, you pick this one?!”
You don’t say anything to him. For a second you look directly at him and tremble at the amount of terrifying wrath you see emanating from his body. Another feeling stirs in your chest though. A sick satisfaction at the fact that he is so upset. After all the control he had deprived you of for the last few months, it felt right to finally put him in a situation where he had zero control over things.
“We already made a deal! You can’t just sell your soul to him!” he yelled.
“Well, apparently, the deal wasn’t strong enough to chain her to you in any way considering she was able to sell her soul to me at all,” said Alastor, “And I don’t know what deals you’ve made previously with her, but if she has failed to fulfill any of them, as the owner of her soul I have the right to forfeit them. If you’d like to discuss what it is she was supposed to give you, perhaps we can work something out. Unless you failed to uphold your end of the bargain?”
He look flustered, but before he could really say anything you murmured, “Y-you only upheld half the bargain. S-so I don’t have anything I owe you.”
Confusion clouded his eyes for a brief second before he seemed to realize what you were talking about.
“Are you really trying to play the damn exact wording game with me?” he said, storming towards you, “You selfish little conniving bitch!”
You yelped as he grabbed your arm, his claws digging into your flesh to the point where you could feel skin beginning to break. Small splurts of blood formed on your flesh. His face was so livid though that you had a feeling that this was the least of your concerns.
“You better enjoy this while it last, because once I’m done with Alastor, I am going to hang his sorry excuse of a deer carcass on my office wall,” he said between gritted teeth, “And you are going to be begging to go back to the previous arrangement we discussed when I finally get my hands on y-”
He stops speaking as a black tentacle smacks him in the face, almost sending him off of his feet.
“That’s quite ungentlemanly of you, Vox,” Alastor said, “Treating a lady like that. And I would appreciate it if you didn’t touch what’s mine.”
Vox had a hand up on his screen, a large crack on the right side of his screen. It reached all the way down from the top down to where his cheek would have been. A small piece of glass was hanging by a wire.
“What the f-?! Ugh!” Vox yelled, “You are going to regret that! Both of you!”
He backed down though. As mad as he was, you both knew it was a losing battle if he tried to fight Alastor one on one right now. One hand trying to hold up the falling piece, he turned to walk away, grumbling under his breath. As he left your line of vision, you leaned against the wall, rubbing your eyes. You even felt yourself tear up a little involuntarily. You had truly thought there wasn’t going to be a way out of this.
“T-Thank y-you,” you said. If you weren’t scared crapless of this guy, you would have gotten on your knees and kissed his feet right there.
“There’s truly no need to thank me for anything,” Alastor said, “You are mine now. It’s in both of our interests that I protect you.”
Not really listening to what he was saying, you nod. It was awkwardly quiet for a minute or two as you wiped at your face, trying to get a hold of yourself. Damn it, you were wasted. Finally you felt like you could talk again.
“I-I guess, I’d better hit the road,” you say.
Though to be honest, you don’t even know where that is at the moment, considering you don’t have any money or job or anything really. Before you can walk off though, Alastor places a hand on your shoulder.
“And where do you think you’re going?” he asked.
“Oh, um… well, I wasn’t- I don’t have to go if you’d rather I didn’t,” you said.
“I should hope not,” he said, “Besides, I’ve already been thinking. There’s a lot of work I have that you can do.”
Well, shit.
I really hope I don’t come to regret this.
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otdiaftg · 4 months
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The King's Men - Chapter Three
Day: Friday, January 5th Time: 11:25 PM EST
He took the tray with unsteady hands and brought it back to the table. He wanted to send Kevin away, but Andrew would never let him get far without a guard. Luckily Kevin couldn't speak a word of German. Neil sat sideways in his chair, facing Andrew, and said, "Why does Roland think you're tying me down?" Andrew hesitated with his glass halfway to his mouth. He glanced down at Neil's hands where they were clenched on the edge of the seat between his knees. Neil didn't look to see if the angry lines were showing again. He couldn't take his eyes off Andrew's face. At length Andrew put his full shot back on the tray. He didn't let go of it completely but tapped his fingers on the rim in an uneven beat. It seemed an eternity before he finally dragged his stare up from Neil's hands to his face. "Presumably he thinks you're as bad at following directions as he is," Andrew said. "Roland knows I don't like being touched." "That doesn't answer my question." "It is the answer," Andrew said. "Rephrase the question if you don't like it." "I want to play another round," Neil said. "What's outside Coach's pay grade?" Andrew shifted in his seat to face Neil and propped his elbow on the back of his chair. He cradled his face in his hand and considered Neil. He didn't look at all bothered by the sudden interrogation but that calm did nothing to ease the gnawing in Neil's stomach. "When Coach signed us, he promised to stay out of our personal problems. He said the board paid him to be our coach, nothing more and nothing less." That answer wasn't much better. Neil wasn't sure he should keep pushing, but if he didn't get the truth now he knew he never would. "I didn't think I was a personal problem. You hate me, remember?" "Every inch of you," Andrew said. "That doesn't mean I wouldn't blow you." The world tilted a little bit sideways. Neil dug his shoes harder into the floor so he wouldn't fall over. "You like me." "I hate you," Andrew corrected him, but Neil barely heard him. For a dizzying moment, he understood. He remembered Andrew's hand over his mouth in Exites as he backed out of their conversation. He thought of Andrew yielding to his prodding and holding him up when Neil needed him most. Andrew had called him interesting and dangerous and had given him keys to his house and car. He'd trusted Neil with Kevin because Kevin was important to both of them and he knew Neil wouldn't let him down. Neil tried to piece it all together, but the more he pushed, the faster it fell apart. It didn't make sense. He didn't know what he was supposed to think. It could be a lie, but Neil knew it wasn't. Andrew was a lot of unpleasant things, but a pathological liar wasn't one of them. Honesty suited Andrew because he was an instigator at heart and his opinions were often unpopular. It took Neil three tries to find his voice. "You never said anything." "Why should I have?" Andrew lifted one shoulder in a shrug. "Nothing will come of it." "Nothing," Neil echoed. "I am self-destructive, not stupid," Andrew said. "I know better." There was nothing Neil could say except, "Okay," but it didn't sound okay and he didn't feel okay. What was Neil supposed to do with a truth like this? He was going to be dead in four months, five if he was lucky. He wasn't supposed to be this for anyone, Andrew least of all. Andrew said all year long—had said it to Neil's face just this week—that he didn't want anything. Neil shouldn't be the exception to that rule. Andrew downed his shot and dropped the glass carelessly back on the tray. He pried his cigarette pack out of his back pocket on his way to his feet and flicked it open to check the contents. Neil should let him leave unchallenged, but he said, "It's your turn." Andrew shook a stick into his hand and propped it between his lips. The pack was safely tucked away again before he looked at Neil. "I do not have to take it now."
Art used with permission by smokesontheroof. Thank you @smokesontheroof!
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kissforyouu · 2 months
Note
Can you write a drabble of Oc being mad at him because some old fling sent him a pic through his DM’s and she saw, even though he never responds to the girl she still got mad
your eyes go completely wide, your expression just— shocked. wait, no, no! jumpscared is the right word. you grit your teeth while staring down at your boyfriend's phone displaying the nude photo of some other woman. and you couldn't help but think that if this was proof of jungkook cheating on you, you would've gone crazy on spot. but fortunately, it's not.
still though, due to your own suspicions you scroll up the chat only to be met with messages exchanged about 5 months before you two's relationship started. thank fuck, he is not cheating. you just almost had a heart attack.
still, you were mad though. the audacity for this bitch to send nudes to a man who's clearly in a relationship. it's not like jungkook doesn't post you, he posts you on all his socials, there's no way she wouldn't know. shame on her, she's just embarrassing herself.
but that's not even what made you mad, though. it's the fact that jungkook had already viewed it. he's already seen the picture and had left it on seen. despite being glad that he didn't reply or anything, you still couldn't help but feel jealous over the woman. you had everything she didn't - jungkook. he has just left her on seen, hasn't even bothered to block her!
you huff, blocking her yourself. fucking hell. great, now your entire mood's ruined.
"my phone's with you?" here he comes.
you don't say anything bad, clearly upset with him.
"i was looking for it. what'd you do with it?"
why? is he scared i'll find all his hoes?
you sit in silence. there was a big fat frown evident on your face, the face you often make when you're angry.
"y/n?" jungkook stands in front of you, raising his eyebrows wondering what the hell he did wrong again. he doesn't say anything but reaches forward to grab his phone from the grasp of your hand.
the moment he does that, you get up, storming out of his living room and into his bedroom. uh oh, you're stomping on the floor. —eek, here it comes ; jungkook pokes the inside of his cheek once he heard the door shut with a very loud thud. at this point, he was used to your attitude. but he just couldn't figure out why exactly you were mad at him.
—oh, nevermind. the man sighs, running his fingers down his face while he took a short glance at the explicit image sent to him by one of his old flings about a week ago. he didn't know you'd go through his instagram. coming to think of it, your attitude is justifiable. its his fault too, noh? he didn't block or anything. i mean, not his fault he doesn't even remember the girl's name.
but he noticed that you had already blocked her. he takes another deep sigh, eyes staring at his door, now closed. he had to console you somehow.
"baby?" your boyfriend knocks on the door thrice, and when you don't answer him, he decides he's gonna break in. it's his room anyway.
he walks in to be met with the sight of his pretty little (angry) girlfriend sitting on his bed, staring into the nothing of the nothingness. you looked cute, he thought. but now's not the time to pull jokes. (i think)
"my love." jungkook walks closer to you and bends down to meet your eyelevel on the bed. but you look away, avoiding his eye contact. he giggles, accepting the challenge and moving his face in front of wherever you're looking at. three or four of these and you're sick of him already, breaking into a whine as you slapped his shoulder.
"who the fuck is gianna and why's she not blocked?!" how come you remember the girl's name and not him when he was the one who talked to the girl for like, uh, uhhh, like, a few months or weeks, jungkook thinks.
"baby, she sent me that shit recently. i haven't talked to her ever since we both started dating, you know that very well. whatever you think happened, did not happen." he looks at you, waiting for a response.
he did say the truth though. you should—
"you're overreacting." nevermind. "overreacting" is crazy.
"i am NOT overreacting." you break your silence, "what would you feel if you saw the nudes of one of my exes on my phone, huh, jungkook?! bet you'd fucking LOVE that."
jungkook remains silent for a few seconds while you gave him the "told you so" look.
"don't fucking talk to me—"
jungkook flicks your forehead, forcefully pulling your upper body towards him so that your face would be pressed against his stomach. you let out muffled screams, completely annoyed.
"come on, i'm sorry, babyyy. we're fine, okay? i will immediately block and even report if this happens again. y/n—"
"eeek! i said don't talk! now—let me. go!" he had you on a headlock so it was harder for you to get out of his grip. you kept wiggling around like a worm, but in the end, you just give up, accepting defeat.
"i'm sorrryyy, my princess. you want my instagram pass? i'll give you. you know i love you only. i'm sorry i made you feel that way." he cups your cheeks, planting a sweet double kiss on your forehead.
but you just glare at him.
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wardenparker · 2 months
Note
Heeeeyyy. Congratulations on 2.5k followers. Great Milestone you got there just know we're all proud of you.
Anyways, can I request an angst fic from the propmts "Wait! Please don't go!" and "There is no 'us'." for none other than the slick cowboy, Agent Whiskey/Jack Daniels?
I can wait. Thaaaanksss!
Agent Jack 'Whiskey' Daniels. 1,373 words. "Wait! Please don't go!"/"There is no 'us'." (Warnings: angst) Co-written with @absurdthirst
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The house is a disaster when he opens the front door. Making his heart drop and his instincts take over, reaching for the side of his hip even though his pistols aren’t there. He never wears his guns home. “Sugar!” He calls out, eyes searching and trying to make sense of the items strewn around.
If he follows the sounds and the trail of items that have been moved around and messed with, he'll find most of the commotion centered in the bedroom. That's where the most things have changed. Where they have been torn apart and not put back into any semblance of what they were before. Where the center of the heartache really lives.
“Baby! What the hell is going on?” He’s relieved to find you, bag opened and shit being shoved into it like you have thirty seconds to evacuate. He’s also confused as to what is happening. There’s been no alert, no word from Statesman.
"What does it look like, Jack?" You don't stop moving, spitting the words out at him while you shove some rolled up jeans into a travel bag. "I'm packing."
“Why?” His hat is off his head, a frown on his handsome face and his hands on his hips. “Where are you going?”
"I don't want to tell you that." If you tell him, he'll inevitably show up there in a day or two, and you might be weak enough from missing him to undo this stance that you're taking and come home to him again. Your mother said you could come home, so that's where you're going. Your old home. The home where you don't go crazy wondering if Jack is safe or what it is the two of you even are despite the fact that you've lived together for months now and been sleeping together far longer.
“Well sugar, how in the fuck am I supposed to accept that?” He asks, frowning deeply. “Talk to me. Everything was just fine and dandy when I left for work this mornin’.”
"Everything was not fine and dandy." Throwing the jeans down in anger, you whirl around on one ankle to face him with tears pricking at your eyes for only the fourth time today. The decision to leave wasn't an easy one to make, but you've convinced yourself it's for the best. "It hasn't been fine and dandy in weeks, but you refuse to see that. The issues don't magically go away just because the arguement is over, Jack. Or did no one ever teach you that?"
“We talked.” Jack defends, huffing. “What more do you want? We said our piece, what more was there? Did I miss something?”
"We talked but nothing changed." Angry steps seem to be the only ones you have in you today, and you storm across the bedroom to sweep your books off the dresser on the other side of the bed. Your side of the bed. Or it used to be. "If we have a fight because things aren't going well and we talk about the things we need to fix, then we actually have to fix the shit we talk about afterward." There are four novels in your hand, but you notice one of them is a Louis L'Amour novel -- one of Jack's -- so you put it back down and stalk back to your suitcase. "You never fix anything I ask you to unless it's a Honey Do chore. The apartment and the relationship aren't the same thing. Hell, I don't even know what our relationship is anymore."
“This is why you’re mad?” Jack sputters and then huffs. “Because I’m not jumping up and down to talk about my feelings?”
The books follow the jeans into the bag you are haphazardly filling, and you groan at the disbelief in his voice before facing him again. "Yes." You tell him flatly, hating that you let it get this far in the first place. "I'm allowed to be upset about the fact that you are never willing to talk about how you feel about me. I am entitled to be mad about that."
“I show you how I feel.” Jack manages to flash you a grin and waggles his eyebrows. “As often as you let me.”
"Jesus fucking Christ." The groan that rips out of you is downright angry, which holds well enough in line with how you're feeling that you don't bother to stifle it. "That's exactly what I'm talking about. Right there."
“Sugar….” Jack lifts his hands, helpless as he realizes that you aren’t taking his little act as something cute. Not like you had before. “What do you want me to say?” He asks seriously.
You pause in your steps, sighing heavily and shrugging your shoulders with so much defeat that you feel like you might just collapse backward on the bed. "Nothing," you admit after a long pause. "I don't want you to say anything. I just want you to let me finish packing so I can go." As much as it makes your heart break, as much as you feel sick to your stomach, this is the decision that you've made. You can't give all of your love to a man who refuses to acknowledge that love even exists.
Jack’s brows pull down, knitting together and he shakes his head. “I don’t want you to go.” He admits quietly, a shiver of dread rushing down his spine as he hears the quiet finality in your tone.
"It's too late." A last sweeping look around the room says that you've packed everything from the bedroom that you care to. This room was last, and then that's it. You'll walk out of this place for the last time and battle with your regrets on your mother's couch for however long it takes. "Maybe the next girl will avoid having her heart broken for a little bit longer because of me, maybe not."
The panic, the fear that he has been avoiding when it comes to emotions starts to set it when you pick up the bags and start to walk out of the room. Jack waits for you to stop, to change your mind like you have before. Never actually going so far as packing before. “Wait!” Jack rushes out of the bedroom when you don’t turn back, don’t come back. He chases you down the hall and into the living room. “Please don’t go!” He begs, his eyes wide and worried.
There are a few things to gather along the way, but your car is almost full and you have your arms full when you pause in the front hall to turn and face him one more time. "Give me one reason to stay," you challenge, knowing you won't forgive yourself if you don't at least let him try. If you don’t give it one last ditch effort. You've been in love with Jack Daniels since the day you met him, but this is the last chance you're going to give him to disappoint you. Unless he's ready to actually say something about real emotions, you're walking out that door. "Tell me why I should."
“You belong here, with me.” Jack tells you stubbornly. “You’ve practically moved in and I’ve - we- we are good together.” Saying the words, truly saying them, has scared Jack to his core. Even with the boss ordered therapy. Afraid the world will rip away another person he loves if he says those words, so he doesn’t.
“If you can’t even muster up the words when I’m about to walk out the door, I think that just proves my point,” you murmur sadly, reaching for the door handle. “Have a good life, Jack.”
“Baby girl, wait.” He reaches out and takes your hand, heart pounding and he feels like he’s about to throw up. Swallowing harshly, he stares into your eyes, trying to say the words you want to hear. “But I have plans for us.” He promises seriously. “Big plans for us.”
“There is no us, Jack.” You whisper, hand on the knob and tears in your eyes. “Goodbye.” His hand falls away and his world crumbles as you walk out the door and out of his life.
______
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anonymous-dentist · 2 months
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A tiny little merpepito au for the week
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Pepito misses Apa Roier. Pepito misses Apa Roier so much it hurts, and Apa Roier is so close! He’s just on the other side of the ship, and Pepito can tug on his shirt and get picked up and held the way Apa Roier used to hold Pepito in The Ocean, but. But he’s sad, and it’s all Pepito’s fault, because Pepito is a Very Bad Pepito.
Every night, Pepito eats dinner at the same table as everybody else. He sits by Pomme, because she’s nice, and by Richarlyson, because Richarlyson is too small to sit at the adult side of the table. But Pomme sometimes leaves her seat and asks her mom to hold her, and Richarlyson always goes to bother his dads. But Pepito… can’t. Because Apa Roier looks so sad when he looks at Pepito, and Pepito might start crying if Apa Roier tells him why.
Tonight, four days after Apa Roier joined the crew, Pepito sits alone and eats Pepito’s dinner. Pomme is with Miss Baghera, and Richarlyson is with Captain Celbi, and Pepito. Is. Alone.
Pepito sits with his head down, and he picks at his food idly with a fork.
He jumps as a plate it dropped in front of him.
He looks up, and there is Apa Roier with a fish bone sticking out of his mouth.
In the Language Of The Ocean, Apa Roier says, “Ayyyy, Pepito! There you are! I’ve been looking for you all day!”
He sits, and Pepito’s hands shake.
“Have you been avoiding me?” Apa Roier gasps.
Pepito doesn’t like lying, so Pepito almost nods. But then Pepito remembers that he’s a pirate now, and pirates are evil. So Pepito shakes his head slowly.
Apa Roier nods. “Ahhh, I see. You’re just too busy for me now, I get it.”
Pepito’s stomach turns uncomfortably.
“You’re a big Pepito now,” Apa Roier says. “And I’m just an old man.”
He even puts on his old man voice- the one that he does to piss Ama Rivers off that makes Pepito laugh- when he says that, but all Pepito does is put his fork down and stare at his plate with a chilly-feeling heart. He feels bad.
Miss Mouse laughs at the other end of the table. Misters Pacandmike are arguing with Captain Celbi.
Apa Roier is quiet.
Pepito isn’t going to cry. He isn’t!!! He’s a Strong Pepito! And he’s a pirate! Pirates don’t cry, they make people cry!
…Pepito probably made Apa Roier cry. Apa Roier probably broke down the second he heard what Pepito did, all because Pepito did a Very Bad Thing because Pepito is a Very Bad Pepito and and and and-
“Pepito,” Apa Roier quietly says, “I’m not angry.”
What?
Pepito looks up with wet eyes. He makes eye contact with Apa Roier, which honestly makes Pepito feels so much worse because Apa Roier looks kinda depressed with only two eyes. The Sea Witch took his eyes because of Pepito; just one more bad thing that Pepito has done.
Apa Roier gives a small smile. “I don’t know why you ran away, but I’m not angry. I mean, I’m pissed, but I’m not angry, you know?”
Pepito doesn’t know, but he also doesn’t care, because what does Apa Roier mean, he doesn’t know why Pepito ran away? He has to know! He’s a genius!
“BadBoy might be a real fucking creep sometimes, but he brought you to a real good guy,” Apa Roier continues. He glances over at Captain Celbi, his smile turning Weird. “I mean, Cellbit is kind of an asshole and he’s probably going to Hell, but he’s a nice guy.”
“Are you talking about me?” Captain Celbi calls, the same Weird smile on his face. Huh.
Apa Roier rolls his eyes and flips him off.
Pepito’s eyes widen. Apa Roier is so brave! Everybody knows not to mess with Captain Celbi, he’s evil! Mister Mike says so at least once a day!
“But listen, Pepito,” Apa Roier says, looking back at Pepito, “if you think I swam for a month to come and get you just for me to say I hate you or something, then you really are as stupid as your Apa Mariana. Because I-” (He reaches across the table and boops Pepito right on the nose.) “-will never let any stupid human pirates bully my Pepito. Only I get to bully you.”
Pepito’s eyes are starting to water again, dang it. Pepito is a Strong Pepito!
But then Apa Roier looks at Pepito’s plate of food and sighs and starts moving stuff from his own plate to Pepito’s, saying, “Pepito, Pepito, Pepito… You’re allowed to have more than fish for dinner. We’re pirates now, have pirate food. Here.”
And Pepito can’t help it. He missed Apa Roier so much…!
He jumps from his spot at the table and runs around to Apa Roier. He holds his arms up, and Apa Roier clicks his tongue annoyedly, but Apa Roier picks him up with a groan:
“Pepito, what the fuck? When did you get so big, eh? You’ll be taller than Mariana at this rate!”
Pepito is a growing Pepito, Pepito knows this. But he settles down in Apa Roier’s lap, anyway, and he hugs him because he can because Apa Roier doesn’t know that Pepito is a Bad Pepito. He still thinks that Pepito is a Good Pepito even if he is a Pirate Pepito now.
Apa Roier doesn’t know what happened. And Apa Roier never will.
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emberfrostlovesloki · 11 days
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Baby Fever [Emily x Reader]
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Photo Credits Left and Right (@meditando-en-paris) Center (@emily12o1970)
Prompt: The reader asks Emily if she wants to have a baby together. While this is a surprise, Emily has a little question of her own for the reader.
Pairing: [established relationship] Emily x Non-BAU!reader. The Reader uses she/her pronouns 
Category: fluff/comfort
Word Count: 6.8K
Content Warnings: Slight angst, talk of getting pregnant, food and alcohol are mentioned, implied intimacy, discussion of politics. If I missed any, please let me know.  
A/N: Hi all! I’m so sorry it’s been a while since I’ve posted any fics in a while. The end of the semester has been wildly busy. However, I return with an Emily fic for @imagining-in-the-margins March and April writing challenge. I made my own prompt that is, a member of the couple isn’t sure they’ll make a good parent; they are reassured by a friend that they will be perfect. This is a continuation of my Moschino and Muddy Water series. You can find parts one, two, three, and four here (linked) You can read this as a stand-alone as well, you just need to know the reader works for a senator. This story kind of humbled me and challenged me as it took a long time to write and I needed to do lots of edits on it. But that is a good reminder for me. Writing can be hard, but it is worth the result to see you can come what you can come up with. If you enjoy this fic, likes, comments, and reblogs are appreciated! Love Levi - ❤️
List with all stories 
y/n = your name 
y/s/t = your skin tone 
_y/f/s_ = your favorite scent
Emily walked into the living room of her apartment. y/n and she had recently repainted it a neutral beige that Derek had described as “sad sand” at brunch with Penelope, Spencer, JJ, and Will last month. y/n had nearly choked on her drink as he made the remark. It had been y/n’s idea to repaint their space to a more relaxing color. When y/n had suggested it, Emily had said, “Oh, what brought this on lover? Wasn’t it you last week who mentioned the security deposit on this place?” Em liked teasing y/n about these things because y/n was always a little more impulsive about things. Their dynamic remained light despite the hectic nature of their jobs. The ability to relax and joke in their off time kept both y/n and Prentiss sane. However, they were good at reading each other, most of the time. When things felt heavy or the job was pushing them to the edge of a breakdown, the jokes and teasing went out the window. 
Only once had y/n made a joke in poor taste about a case that Emily had not yet fully described, and the tall brunette had snapped. y/n had looked at her girlfriend with shock. Prentiss never spoke to her in this tone nor with the angry expression she had on her face. The silence in the room after Emily's outburst was deafening. Emily instantly felt guilty for how she had reacted. Prentiss cleared her throat and tried to apologize, but y/n said, “Save it. I need a minute.” y/n had moved back to their room and closed the door, and burst into tears. ‘A minute’ turned out to be a long sleepless night for the couple. y/n tossed and turned and wondered if she was overreacting and what she had missed about Emily when she came in with her go-bag. She had seemed fine to y/n as she came in with a smile and normal attitude. Meanwhile on the couch, Emily wondered why she had reacted with such venom. y/n was only trying to lighten the mood, and she hadn’t said how horrible she felt. If she had, Emily knew y/n would hug her and kiss her and make her feel better inside of cracking a joke. Prentiss sat up and looked out the open window onto to the street as a few cars drove by. Emily wondered what brought those driving out so late. Who were they and where they were going? She wondered if they were happy. She slumped back into the couch cushions and missed the warmth of y/n’s snuggled up in front of her and the cool feel of their sheets over them. 
In the morning, both Em and y/n had gotten up at the same time. Prentiss moved into their room which she found unlocked. y/n looked up at her. Em could see that she had been crying and the lack of sleep on y/n’s face. Before Prentiss could say anything, y/n stated, “I’m sorry, Emily. I’m sorry for how I acted. Immature and like a child. You didn’t deserve that.” Emily dropped her head and replied, “I’m sorry too. It was wrong of me to shout at you like that. You were just trying to make me happy.” y/n swallowed and said, “I was, but I must have been missing something. Would you tell me about the case, or what caused you to act like that?” 
Prentiss nodded and sat down on the edge of the bed taking y/n’s hand in hers. “Yes. Let me explain. Thank you for giving me the time and care to listen.” After a long conversation, the pair set up some boundaries about not keeping things inside after cases for Emily and taking time to check in after she got home for y/n. y/n knew Emily had been acting okay, but in reality, she wasn't. y/n noted that if she was in Emily’s shoes, she might want to laugh after work and a case and y/n thought Emily might feel the same way. So after they had talked and kissed and made up, they both felt a bit crusty and decided to take a shower together. 
It felt wonderful as Emily’s strong hands moved down her y/s/t’ed shoulders and back. The soap suds moved down y/n’s back and Prentiss rubbed them over her lush behind and thighs. y/n sighed into the touch. When Emily had finished rinsing y/n off, y/n turned and had Em face the water. y/n placed a dollop of her shampoo that smelled of rose and juniper berry in her palm. Prentiss smiled as y/n’s fingers brushed through her silky dark strands of hair massaging her scalp and then making sure that all of her locks were coated in shampoo before turning Em to rinse off her shoulder-length hair. After a few more minutes the water started running tepid, and y/n and Emily got out and dried off. They spent the rest of the Saturday morning lounging around and getting coffee from the fancy place two blocks over. It felt lovely to be back and not have an argument hanging over them. As y/n opened the door for Prentiss, she thought about how they worked together. They had their moments and arguments like any couple, but all in all, they were steady. It seemed that steady was something new to both of them, and it made them happy and secure in one another. It had made y/n so happy and secure that it had got her thinking about roots, about the future. 
A few weeks later, y/n woke up early and realized that Emily was up. She snapped her laptop shut. The sound had Em turn around and look at y/n with just a hint of concern in her dark eyes. y/n smiled and got out of her seat saying, “Good morning, baby. How did you sleep?” Emily’s face broke into a soft smile and she replied, “I slept well. I love it when you’re the big spoon. It makes me sleep like a baby.” y/n got up and wrapped Em in a hug and whispered in her ear, “Well, I’ll have to do that more often then.” y/n inhaled her smell and tried to hide the blush on her face before pulling back and saying, “Do you want some breakfast and coffee? Or maybe a mimosa. I feel like cooking something if you want.” Prentiss nodded and said, “I think I could go for some blueberry or chocolate chip waffles if you’re down to make them.” y/n nodded and replied, “Of course. What are we feeling for drinks?” Em let out a small laugh and said, “Well, how about I make us lattes and you pop open some prosecco? We’ve still got juice in the fridge too. I’ll get the glasses.” y/n nodded knowing that Emily didn’t like popping corks --  a quirk that y/n thought was so cute. Em turned away to get the fluted glasses for the mimosas and while her back was turned she considered how y/n had been acting the last few days. It was like she was holding some secret. When y/n’s computer was in front of her, y/n always seemed to close it quickly or move it so she couldn’t see the screen. It wasn’t only that. Sometimes she was on the phone and talking quietly to someone she didn’t know. The pit in Emily’s stomach grew. And yet when she looked back at y/n who was humming her new favorite song while pulling eggs out from the middle row of the fridge. 
This was so unlike y/n to hide things from her. When it had first happened, Emily thought that maybe y/n was cheating but that wasn’t something that y/n would do unless she had really misread her girlfriend and their relationship wasn’t going anywhere. This bothered Prentiss because she was planning on asking y/n to marry her in a month on their second anniversary. Even if things weren’t good with them, which y/n’s behavior indicated otherwise, Prentiss was uncomfortable with y/n hiding things from her. Em had a good way of feeling out people, and y/n had seemed more excited to be with her recently, so all of the messages both verbal and nonverbal were throwing her for a loop. Prentiss was going to talk to JJ and Penelope about it on Monday to see if they had any insight into what was going on. At this point, y/n and the rest of the girls on the BAU were thick as blood. Em took a breath and decided to not let her self-doubt ruin their relationship. She had let that happen before, and even though it had turned out to be a good thing, Emily didn’t want to do that here. She loved y/n, and she knew y/n loved her. If y/n needed to tell her something, Emily knew she would, even if it was something difficult to hear. Prentiss fixed her face and took a breath before setting the glasses on the counter for y/n who leaned in and gave her a kiss before she moved to the coffee maker. 
y/n started mixing up the waffle batter. y/n didn’t like keeping things from Emily, but this was such a big subject to even bring up, and she wanted to have all of the facts beforehand. Not so that she could try and argue her point with Emily, but so she was sure it was what she wanted. But the more y/n looked at their options of getting pregnant, the firmer y/n was about her desire to start a family with Em. It was a conversation they had had before. A shared desire to have kids and raise them in a house full of love and tenderness that neither y/n nor Emily had had as children growing up on opposite sides of the globe. So the topic of wanting kids wouldn’t be a shock, just how quickly y/n was bringing it up. And if Emily said she needed more time, y/n would wait, but she couldn’t deny that her baby fever was growing thanks to JJ’s pregnancy and some recent laws passing. The whole idea made y/n’s stomach flutter in both delight and worry. Thankfully y/n was almost ready to tell Em, and again there would be no secrets to hold, just a future to plan, whatever that looked like for them. 
         The following Monday at work, Emily found Penelope in her office with its room full of screens and trinkets. Prentiss smiled at how Garcia’s personality shone through wherever she was. Em found the tech whizz inspirational in that way and many others. Garcia was busy typing something on her laptop and Emily had called her name twice already. Without any other options apart from pulling the plug on one of Penelope's babies, Emily tapped her on the shoulder instead. The genius shot out of her seat and Prentiss was eternally grateful that Gacria wasn’t holding one of her large cups of soda. “My God Emily, are you trying to get me out of my skin?” Penelope retorted when she had caught her breath. Em smiled and said, “It was that, or pull the plug on your computer. I thought you’d appreciate the latter. I did call your name twice.” Garcia let out a shaky laugh and said, “Okay, well lord, I have to stop listening to music so loud when I’m at work. Hotch got mad at me for it once already and somehow he’s always right because I don’t want to be scared like that again. So what brings you to my cave today dear? Need me to cast a love spell on you?” Prentiss laughed and replied, “Well I’m okay on that front. A clarification spell might be more in order. Are you back on the RPG game again?” Garcia blushed and said, “Maybe, maybe not. Anyhow, does the team need my presence?” Em nodded her head no, sat down on the ledge of Penelope's table, and said, “Not right now. I was just wondering if y/n had talked to you recently. She’s been acting kind of strange in the last three weeks and I just wanted to know if she has something planned?” 
Penelope was buzzing in her seat because she had an answer but had promised y/n that she wouldn’t say anything to Emily about it. y/n had discreetly asked around the office if anyone knew someone who had IVF treatments before and would be willing to talk candidly about the process, how much it cost, and the pros and cons of the procedure. The only other person who did know someone who had gone through In Vitro Fertilization was Rossi, but Dave didn’t think that person would want to discuss such an intimate part of their lives with a stranger, even if it was a friend of his. However, Penelope had a good friend named Shayla back from her college days who was now a happy single mom and had moved to the Virginia area last year for a new job with her little boy. y/n had met Shayla once before, and when Garcia brought her up as a possibility, y/n almost begged her to ask Shayla if she was comfortable talking about the long process. When Pen brought it up in their next catch-up call, Shayla happily agreed to share her knowledge. She had done plenty of research before deciding to move forward with having a child on her own, understood the great sacrifice and fears that could come with it, and was happy to give any helpful information she had. Of course, this conversation had prompted Penelope to ask y/n why she was asking and y/n had revealed that she was thinking of asking Emily to have a baby with her. Garcia had freaked out, jumping up and down in excitement. y/n had to stop her from running out of the room and shouting at anyone that her friend was getting pregnant. Once the blonde analyst had settled down, y/n took a breath and said, “Now Penelope. I know you’re excited but I’m just in the research stage which sounds calculated when I put it like that, I haven’t told Emily about this yet and I need to be sure I feel confident before I spring this on her. Could you please please, please not tell her?” Garcia nodded seriously and said, “My lips are sealed. I pinky promise.” y/n let out a sigh of relief. 
But as Garcia was faced with Emily now, it wasn’t as easy as telling y/n her secret was safe. It was threatening to burst out of her seams and she needed to come up with an excuse fast or risk losing a dear friend in y/n. Penelope cleared her throat and said, “Hey, Em. I kinda stayed up all night playing that game and well as you can see I’m running numbers for Stan’s team….” She gave her best pleading eyes that seemed to work on everyone. Prentiss let out a soft laugh and replied, “Alright, What flavor do you want grape, Cola, or orange?” Pen smiled brightly and said, “Orange, please. You are a lifesaver!” Emily patted her on the top of her blond head and said, “Well just hope Hotch or JJ doesn’t call a new case while I’m gone. You should get someone to install controls or something on your system at home to stop you from staying up twenty-four-seven.” Garica scoffed, looked at Emily’s retreating form, and said, “Baby, if anyone could crack into my harddrive, I’d let them.” As Emily moved out of the office and toward the 7-11 to get Penelope’s soda, she felt relieved. Not that she fully believed nothing was happening with y/n, but if the team hadn’t noticed anything, then, it made her feel better. Once Emily was out of sight, Penelope whipped out her phone and texted y/n: “Emily is asking questions, baby girl. I’d start thinking about asking her soon or she might find out what you’re doing.” 
The week moved by quickly with lots of paperwork for Emily and the start of a new campaign cycle for y/n who moaned about it as much as possible without being annoying to Em. It didn’t help that the senator y/n worked with had gotten themselves into another scandal that was rocking their office and party. When y/n was going on a rant about corruption on Friday night Emily hugged her from behind, kissed her temple, and said, “I’m sorry sweetheart. I know it’s annoying, but you're good at your job even if it’s a bad system. But that doesn’t make you bad.” y/n relaxed into Prentiss’s embrace. y/n let out a sigh and said, “I’m sorry for going off. I know it’s annoying.” Emily nuzzled her face into y/n’s neck to relax her further as she whispered, “Don’t apologize y/n. Work can be agonizing sometimes, I know that as much as anyone. If it bothers me I'll tell you. Now, how about we do something fun tomorrow? We could get brunch at that place we like in midtown. You know the place where you asked me out officially?” y/n’s face broke out into a smile and she said, “I’d love that Em. Sorry if I’ve been a little distant right now. I’ve been thinking about some things and I want to share them with you in the morning. It’s nothing bad or anything, but something I just want to discuss with you. You’re everything to me love, and I’m so happy we’re together.” Prentiss’s heart fluttered knowing that y/n was finally going to tell her what was going on. Her words were reassuring, that it ‘wasn't’ bad’ or ‘anything bad about her,’ but even so, her nerves sang inside as they both headed to bed. 
In the morning, y/n woke up slightly early for a Saturday and got into a hot shower. She washed her body in _y/f/s_ed body wash. She then moved to her hair and shampooed and conditioned it. Lastly y/n shaved so her legs were smooth. When she stepped out of the shower, Emily was up. y/n walked into their room in a towel, and Em looked up from the bed, Her brown eyes got wider and she said, “Well, good morning, love?” y/n smiled and said, “Morning sweetheart.” y/n dropped her towel, and lazily crawled on the bed. Emily followed her with her eyes and her tongue slipped out of her mouth and wetted her lower lip subconsciously. y/n grinned and moved over Emily’s body and kissed her gently at first and then with more passion. Em snaked her hands around y/n’s hips. Once y/n’s tongue was slipped into Emily’s mouth, her fingers moved to y/n’s hair and tugged it gently at the root. After y/n and Prentiss were desperate for air, y/n pulled away and moved onto her knees before saying, “Maybe we should get dressed or we’ll miss brunch sweetheart.” Emily whined and said, “Do we have to?” y/n laughed and replied, “I think so. I’m in need of a good mimosa and waffle. Plus, we can get right back to this when we get back if we want.” Emily sat up and brushed her thumb over y/n’s jaw before saying, “Alright love. Give me a few minutes to get ready and we can go. It’s good if we go sooner though because you know how crazy that place gets after 11:00.” y/n nodded in agreement as she moved to the closet to pick out a spring dress and some matching jewelry while Emily used the bathroom and vanity to get ready. Emily chose a pink jumpsuit that fit her curves perfectly and was strapless showing off her lovely shoulders and neck. 
y/n and Emily got to the restaurant before the big rush and were seated outside at a quiet corner table surrounded by a fence and hedge that gave the space a cool and calm feeling away from the bustle inside and the rush of cars outside. A waiter came and got their drink orders and while he was there, Emily and y/n also ordered pain au chocolat. Emily got a glass of white wine and y/n got a pomegranate mimosa, and they both got coffee. The lean man noted what they wanted and moved away. The wait time at this spot was longer giving people time to relax and talk. y/n looked at Emily wondering if she should start the conversation. Emily returned y/n’s smile, her face looking radiant in the glow of the midmorning sun. Prentiss shifted in her seat and said, “You’ve been looking so happy the last few days. Whatever it is you have to tell me I just want to say I’m so happy to see you like this. I wish every day could be like this. That there wasn’t the stress or worry of our jobs looming over us. But you make me feel safe and seen every day, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.” 
Once Emily said the words aloud, the idea in her head sprang so full and bright that she felt like she might be bowled over by a small breeze. The idea had been there for a few months but she hadn’t planned it. Certainly hadn’t even dreamed of it being like this, but it felt so right. When she looked over at y/n who was clearly saying something, Emily thought for a brief moment that she might be looking at the sun, blinding it it’s light and radiance. Prentiss cleared her throat and mind and finally heard y/n repeat, “Are you alright darling? You were in your own world there for a second.” Emily nodded now knowing what she was going to do and said, “Yeah I’m good. I just had an idea. So I suppose I have something to tell you too. But you go first. What was it you were wanting to tell me today that you’ve been so secretive about?” y/n blushed and felt better now that they both were going to say something, though she had no idea what Emily had up her sleeve. y/n replied, “Well why don’t you go first.” Prentiss shot back teasingly, “No you first.” They repeated this one more time before they both blurted out at the same time: 
“I want to have a baby with you.” 
“I want to marry you.” 
When Emily and y/n both registered what the other had said they were stunned into silence. y/n felt her chest tighten with emotions that threatened to bubble over. She composed herself first and asked in awe, “Emily Prentiss, are you proposing to me right now?” Emily took a shallow breath in at what y/n had said about wanting a baby and y/n’s question and, she said, “I am, sweetheart. It just felt right right now. I don’t want to spend another day without you being mine in the most real way possible. Time just goes by so fast and as soon as we know it we’ll both be grey and have bad knees. We’re both gone so often from each other so I’d like you to be mine if you’re willing to be. y/n, will you marry me?” Emily got out of her chair and onto one knee. Again she was glad they were in a quieter part of the restaurant. y/n nodded her head yes and fell to her knees next to Em embracing her in a hug and saying, “Yes, Oh of course I will. I love you so much, I want my whole life with you.” They both stayed there for a moment on the brick floor before Emily raised her head from y/n’s shoulder wiping her own eyes of the salty liquid at her corneas before pulling back and helping y/n to her feet. They hugged properly with a tight embrace that said they would never be apart for longer than they had to be, and even when they were apart, they would still be together. Em pulled back and said, “I’m sorry I don’t have a ring for you, but it just felt right to ask you now. I promise I’ll get you one that’s just perfect.” y/n smiled and said, “I know whatever you pick out will be perfect love.” She leaned in and planted her mouth on Emily’s and they both let go of each other with a feeling of lightness and ecstasy that neither had expected this morning in bed. Just as they both sat down, the waiter returned with their pastries and drinks on a tray. He set all the plates and glasses down and said he’d be back in a bit to see if they needed anything else. 
Once he had gone, y/n and Emily raised their glasses to their engagement and y/n said, “To the best fiance I could ever ask for!” As they clinked glasses Em added, “And to my favorite person in the whole world.” They both took sips of their drinks and what y/n had said resurfaced to the front of Prentiss’s mind after the euphoria of y/n saying yes to her proposal dimmed slightly. Em leaned forward and asked, “y/n you want to have a baby?” y/n flushed and nodded sheepishly. Suddenly talking to Emily about this made her feel nervous. With a steadying breath y/n replied, “Not just a baby Em. I want to have your baby. I’ve been researching reciprocal IVF. Looking up what the procedure is like for both parties, how expensive it is, and where there are clinics nearby that we could visit and consult with. I even went as far as talking to some people who’ve done it before to see how their experience was for them. That’s what I’ve been researching for the last few weeks. And I know this sounds so fast. Like I’m rushing. I don’t mean to pressure you into making a choice now or next week or month or even year. I just want you to know that I’d love to build a life with you. A life that might include children in the future if that’s something you're interested in. I just wanted to have all the facts I could about what that would possibly be like before springing something this big on you” Emily absorbed the information and took a sip of her drink. She said with a smile, “Look at you doing your research. Not that you don’t research, but I think we’re rubbing off on each other. You’re making me more comfortable in making big moves like proposing while I’m making you research a topic as much as possible.” y/n laughed and said, “Well, I guess that makes us pretty compatible, huh.” Emily chuckled and continued to think about what y/n had just said. 
It wasn’t something they had talked about recently, but children was a topic of discussion they had had and it made Emily relieved to know that y/n left that secure in their relationship that it was something she was seriously thinking about. Now that they were engaged, it only made more sense, even though y/n couldn’t have known that coming into today. For a moment Emily pictured y/n cradling their baby, and then a toddler running around their apartment, and the child grown up and going off to school. Prentiss pulled herself from the film playing in her head. As lovely an image as it was, it was a lot to think about. She lifted her eyes up to y/n’s nervous gaze. Prentiss moved her right hand to y/n’s and held it across the table saying, “I think that’s a beautiful idea y/n. It is a lot to think about. I do appreciate that you’re comfortable enough to tell me something that’s really important to you. Would you mind if I give it some time to think through?” y/n squeezed Emily’s palm and replied, “Take all the time you need love. There’s no rush.” Prentiss felt a surge of warmth move through her not associated with the fact that she was sitting in the sun. Having someone as passionate and who understood her so well was the best thing that could have happened to her. Emily did wonder if something had prompted y/n into her desire for children. She’d never been one to have baby fever before now and the shift was interesting to her. 
Emily watched y/n sip her drink and relax in her chair a bit. Prentiss asked, “Sweetheart, what sparked your desire for kids if anything? Or did it just sort of happen?” y/n sighed and said, “It’s been coming for a while I think, but things have made it speed up for me I suppose.” Emily nodded her head as if to say, “Keep going, love.” y/n placed her palms flat on the table and continued, “I guess that so much crazy stuff has been happening in the country recently. I know you know that. We both do as we work in the government, but the upturning of Roe V. Wade and all the crazy abortion bans popping up all over the place. I suppose I just don’t want to be too late. Like one day we both decided it was time and by then we didn’t even have that option. I don’t mean to sound melodramatic or to push you in any way, we have time, it’s just made me prioritize some things in my life that I hadn’t given too much thought to before now. I mean if Alabama can almost stop IVF then I’m afraid of what might come after that. I suppose having a child became more important to me the more things like that happen here.” 
Emily gave a soft smile, she could more fully see where y/n was coming from and it made sense with her personality. Em moved her hand across the table and stroked her cheek gently before saying, “That makes sense darling. I’m going to have to think about it for a while before we do anything, but maybe when we get home, you can tell me a bit more about the process, and the cost. If we commit to something like this we’re going to need to be saving for some time.” y/n chuckled and said, “Take all the time you need darling. We can save money for that and a wedding too.” Emily paused and said, “Do you mind if I don’t tell the team right away about the engagement? I just want to get a ring and have it be a bit more put together because once I tell them, we’re going to be swamped with questions from JJ, Garcia, and Rossi.” y/n snorted and covered her mouth at how accurate Emily was. She could picture that conversation happening and how Garica would pounce on Em and then how she’d get ten calls for Penelope and then some texts and another call from Dave congratulating her. Since y/n had gotten to know the team more, Rossi had become a father figure which made her heart warm. y/n replied, “Yes, of course sweetheart. That will be a day to remember. Almost as exciting as getting to say yes to you Mrs. Prentiss.” 
Shortly after this their waiter came back and got them a second round of drinks and they ordered some plates to share. The weekend flew by as always, and Emily showed up at Quantico with an excited air about her. The team slowly rolled into the bullpen on work days like they normally did. Em and JJ passed through security at the same time, and JJ who was now very pregnant asked Prentiss, “You seem preoccupied today. Is something up?” Emily tried to stay cool and said, “Nope, well apart from the fact that y/n and I had a late night last night.” Em gave JJ a wink and JJ shot her a sly smile replying, “Well that would make you pretty tired I suppose.” Emily laughed and the two women moved up to their floor. Prentiss hadn’t been lying about y/n and her last night. They’d spent a few pleasurable hours both in the shower and the bed solidifying their bond. Telling one truth and omitting two others felt better than a flat-out lie. Emily was a mix of emotions today and it did make her feel and perhaps look different which she was trying to hide. She was incredibly happy about the unofficial engagement but nervous about y/n’s question. It was more than a question, it was a whole new part of their life if they pursued it. Emily spent a good deal of the morning telling Spencer and Penelope that nothing was wrong and that she was fine but tired. Even Aaron gave her a look saying that he knew something was up. But Hotch didn’t always have the time for gossip and he trusted and knew Em enough that if she was having a serious problem, she could come to him anytime night or day. By lunch time, Prentiss felt a little bit more emotionally drained than she had coming into work. She hardly noticed Derek sneak in behind her to use the microwave when her leftover pasta was finished reheating. 
Morgan said over the hum of the microwave, “So you told Spence and Garcia everything is fine and you gave Hotch that look that it’s all cool and they left you alone, but you're one of the most put-together people on the team and something is off. Keeping secrets is a burden and I’d think you’d like at least one person to know what’s playing in your mind on repeat. Listen if we go on a case or something then it might make you slower. Would you please tell me what’s going on? I won’t tell anyone else. You know I’m also good at keeping a secret.” Derek’s appearance startled Emily, and she jumped at his first few words but calmed quickly as she listened more intently to what he was saying. She bit the inside of her lip. The problem was she knew Derek was right and somehow that bothered her. However, Morgan would be as good a person to tell as any. Their bond was strong, but not as interwoven as the rest of the team. And he was good at keeping quiet. Prentiss deflated slightly and decided to be honest with Derek saying, “Okay but this stays between us, please?” Morgan nodded his consent and indicated for Em to continue. Emily thought of the proposal but knew the issue that was bugging her was what she should say. Finally, she stated, with a slow caution, “y/n wants to have a baby with me.” 
That response was far from what Derek had been expecting, and he blinked a few times just to ensure he’d heard correctly. Slowly a smile crept to his face replying, “That’s amazing, Em!” Emily nodded lightly and Derek was confused as to why she wasn’t showing the same joy he was. He cleared his throat lightly and asked, “Do you not want that Emily?” Prentiss let out a long sigh and said what she’d been thinking about since last night: “I do think I want kids in time. And y/n and I have talked about that before now. We talked about it before we became serious.” Derek was confused by her hesitation and asked, “Is y/n like, rushing you into this?” Emily nodded no and replied, “No not at all. She knows me too well for that. She did a bunch of research beforehand and told me there wasn’t any rush. And also that if kids wasn’t something I was interested in she and I could talk about it.” This reply left Derek even more confused and he scratched the back of his head. Finally, Morgan asked, “So, why are you upset exactly?” Em came out with it and said, “What if I’m a bad mom? I can see y/n being the most loving and caring parent in the world, but my track history with my mother just doesn’t indicate that I’m going to be that competent a parent.” 
When Emily got to the point of contention, Derek couldn’t help but chuckle, and Prentiss lightly slapped his board arm and said, “Don’t laugh at me, Morgan.” Derek managed to stop his chuckling and say, “I’m mainly laughing at your wording, Em. I don’t think any parent would say they are ‘competent.’ And if you’re going to question me on that, ask Hotch if he thinks he’s a competent parent with Jack or JJ with her baby. I swear no one has it all figured out.” Emily was still hesitant and Derek continued, “Emily no matter what you decide it’s going to be the right thing. I know you and y/n won’t jump into anything, but if you ask me, I think you’ll make a fantastic parent.” Emily could tell that Morgan was no longer joking and she asked, “Why do you say that?” She was genuinely curious to hear how he would answer. Morgan leaned against the wall and replied, “Well you could just call it intuition, but the other sign to me is how in tune with yourself and y/n you are. You notice things about everyone, especially y/n. If you decide to have a kid together that will be the most loved child ever. You may not have it all figured out, but with how much you care about each other, I know you and y/n will figure out the rest. You’ll be a great Mom Em.” Emily felt her heart warm slightly and the original image of a child running around her and y/n’s apartment, or the park, or a variety of other idyllic scenes came back in a rush. She knew this wasn’t always going to be the reality, but she felt encouraged and replied to Morgan, “Thanks, Derek. I appreciate that. And thanks for letting me ramble.” Derek smiled again and was happy to see Emily happy. He said, “You got it Em. And my lips are sealed.” Emily felt much better the rest of the day having one person know what she was thinking about. It helped so much that after she had talked about it, she found it much easier to work. 
It was a few weeks later as Prentiss had found the right ring for y/n, and she and y/n had talked about breaking that set of news to the team that Emily came up behind y/n who was standing at the kitchen counter. Prentiss hugged y/n gently from behind and said softly in her ear, “y/n, I want to try. I want to try for a baby with you.” y/n froze and then turned around slowly in Emily’s arms and said, “Really?” Emily nodded and replied, “Really baby. I want some time before we go for it, but I want to be with you.” y/n felt her eyes well with tears of happiness. Her life had felt so empty and barren before she met Emily. Now life felt so full. She was getting married to the best woman ever, and they were planning a family. A lot was yet to come in their journey, but for now, everything was perfect. As the tears started rolling, y/n mouthed, “I love you so, so much Emily,” as she leaned in with her tear-stained face and kissed Em with all the love she could give. Emily wrapped her arms around y/n and kissed her back. Yes, time went quickly, but together they would make the most of every minute there was between them and the family they were planning.
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blairrwaldorfs · 2 months
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High Infidelity
Joseph Quinn x Fem!Reader
Summary: Did you really have to chart the constellations in his eyes? Did you really have to tell him how he brought you back to life?
Author's Note: Babe by Taylor Swift, High Infidelity by Taylor Swift, Illicit Affairs by Taylor Swift, My Tears Ricochet by Taylor Swift, Wildest Dreams by Taylor Swift. I don't know... I don't know... I don't know. My mind is all over the place the past week and needed to write this down for some distraction. I don't know... I never done a back to back series nor have written something like this, so yeah. Forgive me for all the trigger warnings. Everything is all so crazy. This is a very very hard thing to write because of past emotional abuse experiences in real life that still terrorizes me and maybe it's a letter for the past experience to let it go.
Disclaimer: 18+, emotional abuse, mention of harming, infidelity
(Please, please don't read this if it triggers you. I need you all to think hard about it before reading this one. This is a bit of a dark fic).
Wordcount: 3.2K
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part one - part two - part three - part four - epilogue
“Late again?” 
Your boyfriend, Eli, asked you the moment you entered the flat. You were kicking off your shoes by the front door, eyes full of exhaustion as you sighed. He was by the kitchen heating up some leftovers. You didn’t exactly understand how it was “late” because technically it was only 9pm.
“Yeah, the event went pretty late.” You replied.
You technically left the event early knowing that Eli would start asking where you were. That was how he was these days. Keeping count of everything you did.
You were technically not an official assistant in the team. You just started this job, and it was more of a paid internship that you applied to because you needed the money, and it paid really well. You worked for Joseph Quinn’s team. A British actor who got pushed into the limelight too fast after his appearance in Stranger Things.
Joe was nice. His team was nice and very organized and all you had to do was bring Joe’s things, get coffee, and help his team organize whatever they needed for Joe. 
That was all. 
Nothing too complicated.
Nothing for you to really complain about nor do something that could ruin this whole internship that you applied for. 
Well, at least that was what you thought. 
“That’s a nice dress.” Eli stepped out of the kitchen, his eyes studying you as he ate a piece of chicken. 
For some reason, his eyes studying you like that made you feel angry and annoyed. It wasn’t like he was doing anything to you, but the tone of his voice was making you feel annoyed. 
“Thanks. I’ll go freshen up.” You gave him a small smile, giving him a quick peck on the lips before heading down the hall. 
“I’m sure many men were staring at you tonight.” Eli added his little comment that made you stop halfway from your steps and looked over your shoulder.
“I was just doing my job, assisting.” You reassured him before continuing down the hall and into your bedroom.
You weren’t going to lie. Your relationship with Eli for the past two years has been rough. He was constantly jealous, constantly making rude comments about what you wear and how you wore your makeup to the point where you had stopped putting makeup on. You had changed your whole closet to just jeans, t-shirt or jumpers. You changed your whole style and personality because you didn’t want any trouble from Eli. You didn’t want to disappoint him. 
However, this new job of yours came with the responsibility of dressing up and wearing makeup when you accompany Joe through the many events or movie premieres. That made Eli squirm even more for the last four months whenever you came home wearing a nice dress and nice makeup. He would comment how the dress was too short or the dress was too revealing. 
“I wore a jacket, don’t worry.” You would tell him. 
“Next time, pick one that isn’t so revealing.” Eli would scoff. “You’re mine. You don’t need other men looking at you.” 
You could feel the love in your relationship was slowly fading, and you didn’t know how to get out of it. You were too scared to do something about it. Terrified even what he could react or say towards this decision of yours if you ever decided to cut this off. Eli had been very aggressive towards his words to you and sometimes, even if he wouldn’t say something, you could see the disappointment all over his face. You were a people pleaser, and you were the kind of person who didn’t want any trouble, so you tried to give what he wanted most of the time.
It made you hide inside yourself even more. It made you feel insecure. It made you terrified of every decision you made because you didn’t want to upset him. You didn’t want to see that reaction on his face even if his lips were saying something else. It made you feel like you were walking on broken glass every time. 
Sliding yourself under the covers next to Eli that night, you saw his eyes studying you the moment you entered the room and brushed your hair in front of your vanity. His eyes never left you until you laid next to him. He immediately moved himself close to you and pulled you in his arms, hugging you from behind. 
“So, how many more events do you have to go to?” He asked.
You sighed, closing your eyes. Eli was never interested in your job. You knew he was asking about it, so he knew what he was expecting. By that, it meant he would be monitoring the outfits that you would wear and the people that would be around you in that event.
“Not sure.” You murmured. “I’ll let you know once my supervisor lets me know.”
Eli lets out a soft hum and kisses you on your cheek before turning you to face him and kisses you roughly on the lips, towering over you. For a second, you went with it and kissed him back, pushing your body against his and letting him have what he wanted. He lets his soft fingers slide the strap of your tank top, kissing your bare shoulder. His lips found the skin of your neck as he softly sucked onto the skin, a small gasp escaping your lips.
“Babe.” You whispered, slowly pulling away. “I’m tired. I’m early tomorrow.”
Eli sighed, letting himself laid back down on the bed next to you. 
“You’re always tired.” He argued. “The last time we had sex was last week.”
“I’m sorry, I’m just tired today, and I have to get up early tomorrow.” You turned your back on him, closing your eyes. 
“Right.” Eli said sarcastically, getting up from the bed.
You looked over your shoulder, sitting up on the bed as he made his way towards the door.
“No, c’mon. Don’t be so upset.” You said.
You could see it all over his eyes that was getting upset, and you knew if you didn’t do something about this, he wouldn’t talk to you for the next two days. He would make up an excuse that he was busy and that he would be with his friends. 
“Come here.” You reached your hand out to him as he paused in his tracks and stared at your hand. 
He gave you a small smile and walked towards the side of your bed, taking your hand in his as he kissed you hungrily and towered over you on the bed. You let him touch you in all the ways he wanted to, but you just felt numb. You couldn’t breathe as you stared into the white ceiling and kissed him back softly, letting his fingers brush against your burning skin. You felt disassociated as he kissed you hungrily and pushed himself inside of you. 
You felt nothing but disgusted with yourself for being so weak.  
That was how you have been feeling lately with your relationship. You felt trapped and you felt like a chain has been around your neck lately, and Eli was pulling it every chance he got. 
“Hey, could you go to the coffee shop down the block to get everyone coffee?” Alex, Joe’s manager, asked, interrupting your thoughts the next day. 
“Uh…sure.” Alex handed you a piece of paper with everyone’s orders. 
Your job was always simple but as time went on, your interaction with certain people became more frequent. In the beginning, Joe couldn’t even look at you nor acknowledge you that much unless he was thanking you for bringing him the things he needed. Then, Alex and his team had gotten busier that the things in your list were starting to add up. Part of your job has been added to “make sure Joe is in this place at a certain time,” or “make sure Joe wears this suit instead of this.”
Then, there was the chore that Alex would give you to make sure that his collar, tie or buttons on his shirt was perfect before he stepped out of the red carpet. 
“Do you enjoy your job?” Joe had asked you that one time when you had sat on the sofa of his dressing room, waiting for the rest of his team to arrive. 
“Sure.” Your voice almost sounded so monotone that Joe couldn’t even believe your answer. 
He sat there and tilted his head at you, one brow raised and waited for your real answer. You let out a deep breath, closing the magazine that you were reading and set it back on the table.
“I guess it’s okay. Couldn’t complain.” You shrugged.
Joe let out a soft understanding hum and focused his attention back to his phone, scrolling his time away. He was getting ready for his movie premiere, and you were there to make sure that everything he needed was there. That he looked perfect right before he stepped out of the red carpet.
Not that you hated your job but sometimes, it could get so repetitive that you looked bored after the events. The rest of Joe’s team would go and prepare whatever they needed to, and you would just make sure Joe was fine. That he didn’t need anything. 
“Here.” Joe handed you a glass of martini at the after party of the premiere.
“No, thanks. I’m technically still working.” 
“And looked bored.” Joe’s face was a little too close to yours as he whispered those words.
You hesitated, your eyes scanning the room trying to look for a sign of Alex. Joe couldn’t help but chuckle, shaking his head.
“They went home. So, technically you’re the only one left here.” Joe answered the question that you were asking in your head. “C’mon. You deserve it for working so hard all the time.”
Pursing your lips, you stared at the glass that Joe was holding before finally taking it from his hand and taking a sip of it. Joe smiled and took a sip of his own drink, his eyes scanning the room before falling back to you.
“Are you usually this quiet?” Joe asked.
“I’m just doing my job.” You answered, a small smile creeping up on Joe’s face. “I don’t want to interrupt anyone.”
“You’re not interrupting me.” Joe smiled, taking another sip of his drink.
You could tell he already had a few drinks before this conversation. You continued to drink the glass of martini in your hand and didn’t reply a word to what Joe said. You could tell the alcohol was making him a little bolder, and he was trying to flirt. You didn’t want to step into any boundaries because first of all, it was inappropriate, and you didn’t want to lose this job either.
“So, how long have you been here in London?” Joe asked.
“About two years.” Your answers were plain and simple as Joe continued to play 20 questions with you. 
By the end of the night, you both seemed to open up to each other a little bit more, and you were able to learn Joe more personally. The thing was that you didn’t realize that night was going to be a start of something new between you and him because ever since that event, Joe’s attention was on you most of the time. He would gaze down at you and give you small smiles, while you would fix his collar or tie before he stepped out onto the red carpet.
Then, during after parties, you would be left to babysit Joe, and you would notice how his eyes would catch your eyes across the room. You sat in the corner and minded your own business, your focus on your phone. However, Joe would walk towards you and catch your attention.
“Wanna dance?” Joe held out his hand.
You bit your lower lip and said, “I don’t dance, sorry.”
Joe sighed and sat next to you, his eyes lingering on the screen of your work phone. 
“Whatever Alex is telling you to do can wait ‘til tomorrow.” 
“That’s easy for you to say. You don’t have a full to-do list.”
Joe laughed softly, raising his brow at you. “A full to-do list? I’m the one who has to stand in front of those cameras and do the interviews, remember?”
Joe had a point. 
Though, you couldn’t help but roll your eyes. “True.” 
You and Joe would talk for the rest of the night. You both would laugh and tease each other. You both would start talking about personal things, and he somehow was able to understand you well. It made your heart swell a little bit. 
It wasn’t right that you felt this way towards Joe because you were in a relationship. You could just easily let Joe know that you weren’t single and that whatever flirty tricks he was trying to do to you, it wouldn’t work. However, you kept dancing around that subject. You didn’t bother bringing that subject up and towards the end of the night, you both would start flirting a little bit more. Besides the fact that you were in a relationship, you also didn’t want to do anything unprofessional or inappropriate because at the end of the night, you were technically still working for Joe’s team and Joe. So, you tried your best not to lead him on. 
That was until you had come home one night and found Eli waiting for you in the living room. You arrived home half an hour past nine, and he already looked upset the moment you had stepped inside the flat. 
“Where have you been?” Eli’s tone of voice wasn’t what you liked at all. 
“I’m sorry, I had to finish some things. I texted you I was going to be late.” You explained.
“No, you didn’t.” Eli argued.
“Yes, I did. Didn’t you get my message?” You knitted your brows, making sure your voice was calm because you didn’t want to upset him even more.
You watched Eli pick up his phone from the coffee table and looked down at it and let out a deep breath.
“You know, maybe you should look for another job if they keep making you stay up this late.” 
You slid your coat off and hung it on the coat hanger and said, “It’s only 9:30. It’s not that late, Eli.”
You heard Eli scoff and shook his head. “So, you'd rather be with them than with me?”
You were confused. 
Where did that subject came from?
You didn’t understand why Eli was acting like this. Shouldn’t he be more supportive about your career? Didn’t you tell him that you needed this job because you needed the money? What else did you have to say or do to make sure he would stop this jealousy thing because it was making you so exhausted.
“I… I didn’t say that.” You murmured.
“Maybe you just don’t love me the way I love you. Just tell me, and it’s fine. I’ll happily go.” Eli shrugged, looking down at the floor.
You walked towards him, taking his hands in yours. The guilt inside of you brewed in your stomach but at the same time, you wanted to vomit. 
“I do love you. I told you that, remember? I love you.”
You felt nothing.
“Then, find another job… for me.” Eli looked into your eyes.
“I… I can’t. It’s hard to look for another job out there and this pays me well, while I’m able to learn the entertainment industry. You know how much I want a career in that industry.”
Eli’s eyes suddenly turned glum again. He slid his hands away from yours and exhaled sharply. 
“Why would you even want to be in that industry? So you could be naked and show everyone that?” 
You couldn’t understand what he was saying. You couldn't understand why he was acting like this.  
“You know that’s not true!” You argued.
You were exhausted from explaining yourself over and over again, and he just didn’t believe you. You felt like whatever you did was never enough for him. Tears started welling up in your eyes as you watched Eli grab his car keys.
“Wh…Where are you going?” Your voice stuttered, terrified of what he might do.
“Obviously, you don’t love me. I mean… no one loves me, so what’s the point, right?”
You grabbed his hand, trying to take the keys away, but he had his hand in a fist as he tried to slide his hand away from your grip.
“No, stop! Please.” You begged, tears rolling down your cheeks. “Don’t do this.”
“If you love me, you’d do this for me.” Eli replied, his eyes hardened as he stared at you.
You didn’t say a word because what he was asking of you was impossible. You already had lost yourself and your dignity. Your job at the moment was the only thing that you have that could maybe help you get back up again. After a few seconds of not replying, Eli pulled his wrist away from your grip, shaking his head.
“If you find me dead on the road then that’s on you.” He stated before walking out the front door. 
“Eli!” You cried out, running out the door, but it was too late as he had already gotten in the car and drove off.
Going back inside the flat, you laid on your bed that night, sobbing and questioning as to how you have gotten yourself into this situation. Questioning every decision you made as to why you were too weak to break this off. 
What if you break this thing off, and Eli would actually harm himself? It would be all your fault like he said. What if no one could love you after this? What about the happy memories that the two of you had at the beginning? What if you would regret it at the end for letting him go? You knew you were the only one that he had left in his life. You couldn’t do that to him either. You couldn’t easily just get out. 
You were trapped. 
Stuck. 
Frozen.
Around midnight, Eli had come back home. You weren’t asleep when he had entered the bedroom, but you had your eyes closed. How could you sleep after tonight? How were you able to have a peace of mind if he was out there? How would you know that he didn’t do anything to himself? It would be all your fault if something happened to him. 
You just couldn’t shut your mouth and agreed with what he was asking, couldn’t you? 
Feeling his arms wrapped around your torso, you felt him nuzzling your hair. You didn’t move. You couldn’t move. You knew he wasn’t going to apologize, so you didn’t try to hope for that. Eventually, he had fallen asleep, holding you that night. A tear rolled down your cheek as you covered your mouth with the palm of your hand to block out your sobs, so he wouldn’t wake up. 
At this point, you didn’t know who you were anymore. 
You just felt numb and lost, choking in your own tears. 
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writerscall · 6 months
Text
bruises.
spiderwoman!hazel au. she's known about hazel's little secret for a while now and she's done giving her excuses a free pass.
author's note/s: 1.2k words. trigger warning for talk of injuries, switched to the use of 'you' here for reader cause third person wasn't working for me
It's routine for you to replenish the contents of the first-aid kit in your bedside table's drawer now. You even keep one in your locker and have had many silent debates with yourself on keeping a small one in your bag, just in case. For the past four months, Hazel Callahan has been climbing up to your window to ask for your help with treating a bruise or two. Because of that new women's self-defense club - the "fight club" that started up at school, she said.
Which was incidentally formed about a week after the first news headline came out about some masked vigilante swinging around the city. Fighting crime and saving civilians and beating up bad guys and all that.
Now coincidental rather than incidental for you though, since the day you saw Hazel rushing into her house then saw the infamous Spiderwoman spring out of her bedroom window mere seconds later. You were stunned, but it wasn't hard for you to connect the dots. Your already had your suspicions about some of the bruises Hazel supposedly got from her club; you doubt any of the girls there could actually land a hit that could damage her that badly.
But it's not an easy thing to bring up or just ask about, so you've kept quiet about it. Until that night, however.
You're half-asleep when you hears the incessant knocking at her window. You try not to groan as you throw back the covers and get up, knowing exactly who it is, but whatever irritation you have is gone once you see Hazel's face in the moonlight.
"Jesus Christ," you mutter as you pull her inside, hurriedly moving across the room to switch the light on. "Are you okay?"
"Pretty sure I've been better." Hazel smiles, actually smiles with that joke. But you can only sigh at her in response. Hazel literally looked like she got her face smashed into a wall or to the ground repeatedly - considering the people and things you've seen her fight against, that might've been what happened. There was a bruise along her jawline that you were sure you wouldn't be able to help cover up with make-up the next day and a cut on her forehead where a previous one just healed.
"Let me guess. It's from fight club again?" You manage not to make air quotations at 'fight club' but can't help the disbelieving tone when you say it. There's no way she expects you to believe that.
But as usual, she does. "I was just caught off guard cause we were practicing 'til late at night today and... and I was tired, cause you know, we had a whole day of school earlier and," Hazel stumbles out. The tone you used clearly got to her. "And when I fell it was to the ground and not the mat cause Sylvie got in a really, really good punch. You should've seen it actually."
You say nothing as you let her sit on the side of your bed and take the first-aid kit out, still quiet as you start wiping her face gently. She watches you intently, mouth opening and closing a few times before finally saying, "Don't be so worried. It's not the first time you've seen me like this and I'm always fine after."
"Yeah, sure." Until it happens again, you want to add. You get up to throw the wipes and tissues away and you can feel her eyes on you with every step. Hazel's never been good at dealing with friends being angry with her; you knew how sensitive she could be, which was why you were always quick to reassure her whenever it seemed like she was taking something to heart. It's why you've been patient for so long with her keeping the whole Spiderwoman thing a secret, but you didn't know how much longer you could take seeing her all beaten up and hear one lie after the other on how she supposedly got them.
"Please don't be mad—"
"When are you going to stop lying to me?"
Something shifts in the air at your question. You don't have to look at her to know how her eyes have widened and how her mouth was probably hanging open in shock, or how her mind was definitely racing at what you could possibly be talking about. Even though deep down, she knew.
You turn back around, sighing. "I know, Hazel. About your secret web-slinging life."
Hazel sits up straighter at your admission then stands up abruptly to pace the room, a panicked look on her face. "When did you— how did you even—"
"Does it matter? Why didn't you tell me?" You walk towards her and grab her by the arms, forcing her to stop. "You know you can trust me. I would never, ever tell anyone."
"That's not the point!" She shakes out of your grasp. "That's not the point," she repeats in a softer voice, continuing with, "You can't know. Nobody can because anybody who knows gets put in danger, and they'll come after you eventually to get to me, and I can't let that happen. Not to you, not to my mom, not to any of the girls in fight club. Especially not to you."
Your chest tightens at that. Quietly, you ask, "Why?"
There's a resigned, expectant look on her face when she says, "You know why."
And you do. The two of you have always been great friends but there's always been something else there, something a little more that neither of you were brave enough to acknowledge in fear of ruining what you had. You'd be lying if you said you never noticed the drop in her energy and expression every time you so much as made a passing comment that one of your classmates was cute, and you'd also be lying if you said you never thought anything about the weird feeling you got in your stomach when you saw how much closer she and Stella-Rebecca have gotten since joining the fight club together.
"I need you safe," Hazel says after a moment.
"You'll keep me safe. You'll protect me." You walk towards her again, reaching out to hold her roughed-up face in your hands. Almost instinctively, Hazel leans her cheek into your left palm. "I know you will because you would've done it whether I knew your secret or not. Because you're a good person and a fantastic superhero, Hazel."
Hazel just looks at you for a moment, clearly having some internal argument with herself, before she surges forward to kiss you. You press your lips firmly against hers, kissing her back soundly in case she'd panic and pull away too soon. But Hazel only pulls you in closer, a relieved sigh escaping her as she tilts her head to the side for a different angle.
If a kiss between the two of you was ever going to happen, then it was bound to be in some big reveal moment like this.
Reluctantly, you push her away after a moment because you couldn't let her or yourself get carried away; that first-aid couldn't be put away just yet, plus, your parents might've been dead asleep but they were still home. Both of you would have to put a raincheck on... whatever could've come next.
"Can I stay over tonight?" Hazel asks breathlessly, still eyeing your lips. You smile at her fondly and let out a chuckle, pushing her bangs away from her face.
"Yeah. I still need to fix up that cute face of yours, you know."
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