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soggyriceee · 1 year

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Moth to a flame part 3?

Moth To A Flame | Konig NSFW

| first of all, I just wanna say thank you for all the support on this story. when I say I was not expecting to make this a series I wasn't. I literally was listening to the song and got some really good inspiration for a quick little smut and kept it pushing lmao. im so glad you guys like it and I hope to write more long stories in the future! in this part I will say Konig is a little crazy, and a lot of mentions about stalking, mommy king(hehehe), and aggressive sex are mentioned. also horrible German translation. if these are any triggers to you please please do not read this part! thank you again ily all sm <3 |

four months have passed since you moved away. you and your boyfriend now live in New York, working a daytime job as a school nurse. you finally decided to put your college degree to work. your boyfriend worked at the same company, got a raise and is planning on taking you both out to Cancun for the summer. and of course,

you got the abortion.

it was the least you could do to help make your boyfriend feel better. the last thing you needed was to be alone in New York, a city too big for someone to learn on their own. you were happy. contempt. Konig was out of your life and you were able to focus on your boyfriend now.

however, arguments and trust issues were inevitable after what happened. as much as your boyfriend loved you, he couldn't trust that the same thing would happen again. whether it was Konig or someone else. a ring light camera was placed at the front of your apartment door, checked by him every night for Konig but also any suspicious activity. "its more so for our safety." he had told you a few days ago. but you knew it was more to prove his doubts wrong.

Konig harnt reached out to you. he was blocked on everything, completely ghosted. but you knew that wouldn't stop him from looking for you. you just hoped it wasn't anytime soon. the abortion was already a big step into the right path for you, Konig coming in and ruining that path was not what you needed. you were happy where your life was now, you were happy with your boyfriend. Konig would never be an issue again.

that was until you heard a knock at the door of your office. "come in~" you said sing songly, expecting another high schooler to come in with some lame excuse to be here and not in class. you paid no mind to when the door open, finishing putting the rest of the cough drops into the jar. "what can I help you with?" you asked, back still turned.

it was quiet for a moment. then, you felt two strong arms wrapping around your waist. you gasped, turning quickly. there, Konig looked down at you, a wide spread smile on his face. "Meine Liebe, ich habe dich so sehr vermisst.." he whispered, leaning down placing a gentle kiss on your forehead.

to say your heart felt like it would jump out your body was a humungous understatement. you know it wasn't your fault this time it was happening. but you still felt beyond guilty, and most of all scared. pushing him back, you moved to the front of your desk. " h-how.. how did you find me- how did you get in?" you asked, trying to swallow the lump in your throat. "dont worry about that my love.. im here now. im here to take you back home." he said, tilting his head slightly.

he looked around, humming softly. "this is a cute office. very you like." he said, smiling at the photos of you and students you had grown close to over the last few months. but he didnt really care about that. he cared about getting you back to "home". "I am home Konig. you need to leave me alone im serious this time. im happy here im happy with-"

"but you aren't. I know you aren't. I know you miss me meine liebe. I miss you too. think about you all the time." he said, another smile coming across his face. he moved closer to you but you backed away. he sighed, crossing his arms. he was unhealthy. he needed serious help. help you simply couldn't offer him. "how long are you going to play this game." he said, his tone more serious, his eyes shooting you daggers.

"im not playing a game Konig you need to move on. you cheated many times. you lost your chance to be with me." you said, looking to his side. he wasn't one to get angry, so you weren't worried about that. you were worried about falling for his gaze, his puppy eyes. " gosh those were mistakes. I regret it. I love you. I love you please come back to me." he begged, his voice going from demanding to desperate.

he moved forward again, this time following you until your back hit the wall.

shit.

he placed an arm on the side of your head, the other moving for your chin. smiling, he tilted his head. "dont you see.. no matter where you go, how many phone numbers you make. ill find you, like I always do. and ill fuck you good, like I always do. ill have you leave him and be with me. who you really wanna be with." he whispered, his eyes moving down from your lips to your covered breasts. your chest rose and fell quickly, tears brimming your eyes. you hated him. but you hated him even more because you know he was right. he always fucks you good. he always finds you.

"please.. please leave me alone." you whimpered, fighting back the tears. he ignored your cries and moved his hand to your tummy, frowning. "our baby.. where is it? you should be a lot bigger by now." he said, stepping back a bit.

at that moment you had remembered the abortion, cursing yourself for allowing it to slip your mind so quickly. "where is our baby?" he asked again, his eyes going back to dark, angry ones. you opened your mouth to say words, but none came out. what were you to say? what if he really got angry with you this time? but he had the right to know. and you knew that. after all, he was the father.

"i..I aborted it Konig.. it wouldn't have grown up with its real father anyways." you replied after a moment. you couldn't bring yourself to look at him. you knew all to well he wasn't going to have a pleased look on his face.

silence filled the large room until finally, he spoke up. "well. we can always try again." he said, turning to the chair at your desk. he rolled it out, sitting on it. "come here." he said, patting his lap. but you didnt move. he smiled, shaking his head. "always been defiant. I remember when we first got together I had to train that pretty little mouth of yours to not talk back to me. now look at you. thats what happens when you mess with boys, libeling. not men."

his words didnt bother you in an annoyed or angry way. unlucky for you, it made you clench around nothing. and he knew it did. he knew you loved being talked down on while being treated like a princess. he knew exactly how to turn you on and he was abusing that knowledge right now. " I bet you missed being thrown around, fucked like some worthless toy and then babied right after. dont you?" he stood from the chair, making his way back over to you. " you miss your mouth getting fucked, filled with cum. swallowing it all. making a mess on my dick.. fuck I think about it all the time. those pretty little eyes of yours looking up at me. mascara running down your face while I slide myself down that tight, tight fucking throat of yours." he said, looking down to your throat before quickly looking back into your eyes.

wet wasn't even the word to describe the situation going on in your underwear. you cursed yourself mentally for allowing him to talk to you like this. but you couldn't stop him. because he was right. your boyfriend, no matter how hard he tried, simply couldnt man handle you the way you loved. the way you needed. he was gentle, afraid to leave so much as a hickey on you. but he was slowly becoming more open to it, especially since seeing Konig pounding you from behind. he wanted you to stay, he didnt want you to move on to another. or back to Konig.

"Konig you need to leave.. im not coming back to you. you messed up far too man-"

" so let me make it up to you libeling.. lassen Sie mich um Sie kümmern.." he was now standing right infront of you, looking down at you. you couldnt look away. the way he spoke to you in his mother tongue turned you on, always. even if you couldnt understand every word, his deep voice and accent made it hot. his hand slid up your nursing shirt, gripping your covered breast. you bit down on your lip, closing your eyes. you couldnt give in. not this easy.

shoving his hand down, you stepped away. "Konig leave or ill call the police. ill write a restraining order anything to get you away from me." you finally said, fixing your shirt. "your so hot when you try to act all tough maus.. fuck its making me so hard." he said, pulling at his pants buckle. your eyes flickered down for a few seconds, but it didnt go unnoticed. "see dont fight it maus.. I know you want me to fuck that tight little pussy of yours. make you cum all over me. in this office of yours. you want me to fuck you on your desk huh?" he whispered, unbuckling his pants and slowly pulling his already hard dick out.

the tip literally dripped pre cum, dropping to the floor. it made you whimper, only fueling his craving for you. "Konig.. please leave." you whispered out, but it wasn't confident enough for him to believe. he smirked, turning down towards your chair once again. "maus dont you see how hard I am? I need you. I crave you." he said softly, eyes looking at you so "innocently".

his hand gripped the base of his dick, a sigh coming from him. he leaned over, spitting onto the tip and moving his hand down his shaft, slowly back up. a quiet groan left his lips, his head resting back and looking to you. he sped up his hand movements, keeping eye contact onto you. small, desperate whimpers slipped from his lips as his hips bucked up. "oh maus.. please~" he whimpered, his chest rising fast, falling at the same rate.

you whimpered at him, wanting to go and slide down on his dick. not matter how badly you wanted to keep up with the happiness you had in your life right now, you needed him. he saw your confusion and smiled, taking his other hand and reaching out. you hesitated, but slowly walked over to him. his movements slowed down, his eyes looking up at you. "please.." he whimpered.

you knew this was wrong. and you hated how much he always found a way to wrap you around his finger. how he always managed to get you beneath him, fucking into you relentlessly. and you hated how he always came back into your life when you were happy. you hated how badly you craved him, no matter how far away he was, or how bad he treated you.

you couldn't process anything until you felt him pull you down onto his lips. and you couldnt stop yourself from kissing him back. your hands cupped his face, forcing your tongue into his mouth. he smirked against your lips, pulling you onto his lap. you grazed over his exposed dick, sitting right front of it. you pulled away, a long strong of saliva connecting you two.

" maus.. i wanna fuck you so bad. please." he whispered, his hand sliding up your shirt, pulling your bra down and playing with your nipple. you whimpered, nodding your head quickly. "c-can I lock the door?" you whispered, looking down at him. but he was so focused on your nipples, and playing with himself that he same time. you assumed he didnt care, and continued to pull your shirt up and off.

he wrapped his arms around your waist and stood, sitting you on your desk. "imma fuck you... send you back home with my cum swimming around inside you. you want that?" he said, pulling your pants down. you hated how much you wanted to say yes. it was killing you. but the way his tip ran up and down your slit, teasing your entrance as he whispered filthy words into your ear, you couldnt help but whimper out a pathetic 'yes'.

thats all he needed to hear from you before he slid his full, thick length into your tight cunt, a deep groan coming from him as his head pressed against the top of yours. a gasp slipped from you, your hand covering your mouth. as hot as this was, fucking in your nurse office with the door unlocked, it was risky. in fact, you could loose your job. but he wanted that. he wanted you to have a reason to leave and go back with him, no matter how crazy or detrimental the reason. " so fucking dirty.. getting fucked on your office desk-shit- I bet you want someone to come in here and see this tight cunt getting fucked huh?" he whispered, gripping the back of your head, pulling it so your eyes met his.

he was hot. you couldnt admit it. the way he looked as he fucked you made you go feral. his hair sticking to the top of his forehead, eyes locked onto yours as small whimpers and groans left his pretty little lips. he could say the same for you. the way your tits jerked up and down every thrust he gave, your desk squeaking along with it. your hands gripping onto him as you gave him small, pathetic begs. "say it louder baby.. what do you want? be a big girl for me." he whispered, pulling his now shiny dick out, slamming it back into you. your hands gripped him harder as his grip on your head did too. "f-faster.. please" you finally were able to muster out.

his hips waited no time to move faster, feeling every vein and inch of his thickness move in and out of you. it was heaven. no matter how much you hated him, you couldnt stop yourself from letting him fuck you. anywhere. anytime. you guys were like magnets, no matter how hard you both tried you couldnt keep away from each other.

the more time went on, you realized the tears forming in konigs eyes. they weren't from pleasure either. " k-konig?" you asked, your hands falling to his lower stomach. but he kept going, no matter how hard you tried to stop him, he kept going. "I-i hate you.. so fucking much. I hate y-you because I know I c..I cant live with or without you-fuck.. I-i crave you even when I shouldn't.. I fucking hate you" he cried out, small whimpers coming every now and then from him.

for a moment you had to stop and think about what he just said. but, he didnt give you much time. the more his tears fell the faster and harder his thrusts became. the more aggressive he became. he let go of your head but pushed your body back, your bare back hitting the cold desk, pens and papers falling to the floor. "k-konig" your whimpered, your legs wrapping around his waist. "I-im gonna..cum soon..fuck!" he groaned, his head falling into your chest. his hot tears covered you and you could've sworn you heard 'mommy' fall from his lips every now and then. it made you clench around him seeing him so vulnerable, so emotional while fucking you.

he took one of your legs, pushing it up so your foot rested on top of the desk. his thrusts became deeper, the sound of your moans growing louder. his hand quickly found your mouth, silencing all the whimpers and moans that slipped from you. "m..mommy im cumming~" he cried out, his thrusts becoming more and more sloppy.

his sudden change in persona threw you off guard, but you liked it. too much. the closer he got the more he chanted 'mommy'. and you could tell, he was really close. "m-mommy I-ill hold it back.. ill hold it back till y-you cum first~" he whimpered into your chest, his arms finding your waist and pulling you up into him.

your hands quickly found his hair and tugged it, moaning how good you felt. "k-konig keep going.. im so close~" you moaned, your head falling back off the desk, eyes shutting closed. he growled, slamming deeper into you, stabbing your squishy g spot each time.

the knot in your stomach quickly came undone and not too long after, he came with you, his grip on you tight enough to snap you in half if he really wanted. he whimpered as the last bit of his cum shot into you, small 'plat plat's coming from beneath you two. he pulled out, watching the mix of cum pour out of you as if you were a waterfall, dropping to the floor.

heavy breathing filled the now silent room as you slowly lifted yourself up. "ill get you a paper towel." he said softly, shuffling over to the counter and grabbing the roll. he brought it over, getting to his knees and slowly, spreading your legs. taking the towel he ran over your pussy slow, collecting the cum. it was silent. you didn't know if you should bring up what he said, what he called you.

he sensed your tension and looked up at you from below. "I meant every word I said. I hate you. but I hate you because I love you too much to let you be someone else's. nobody.. nobody has ever made me this crazy.. ever. you've unlocked a part of me that I didn't know existed. I didn't know I had. my heart hurts seeing you happy with someone who isn't me, having a life with someone who isn't me. and what hurts more is to know I caused that." he spoke, his voice soft.

you looked down at him, your chest hurt. you opened your mouth to speak but no words came out. "you dont have to say anything. ill leave you and your boyfriend alone." he stood, throwing the papers away. "im moving back to Germany." he said, looking down at you. and you couldnt lie, your chest felt like it was tightening. tears began to pool but you looked down.

" I leave in three days. I just.. wanted to say goodbye. I guess. I know you hate me, I know you want me to leave. and I love you enough to do anything that will make you happy. if you-"

your hands wrapped around his shirt collar and you pulled him down, slamming your lips to his. his large hands slammed against the sides of you, holding himself up. he immediately kissed back, moaning into the kiss. thats when the tears fell.

"please..please dont leave.." you whispered, pulling away. you looked up at him, looking for anything that said "I won't".. but his lips formed a small smile, his hand meeting your cheek. "your happier without me.. you know you are." "I dont c-care. I cant ha-have you not here. please"

the tears kept falling and he caught each one, flicking them from your face. " oh meine liebe.." he whispered, pulling you into a hug.

✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:

2 years had passed. you were pregnant. again. getting married in a few months too. you were excited because you felt like you were happy, for real this time. you stayed in New York, working at a new school more uptown. it was great, you were happy now.

" okay chicken orrr steak?" you asked your fiancé, rubbing your baby bump as you stared into the fridge. your soon to be husband came behind you, kissing your neck and putting his hand on top of yours. "chicken. we can make Alfredo." he said. nodding, you grabbed the meat, putting it in the sink to defrost.

" ill go run you a bath and we can get ready to go to the bakery. im excited to taste all the new cakes." he said, taking your hand and kissing each knuckle. " me too. especially the Oreo one. pleaseee at least try it. for me." you pouted. "your gonna say no to your pregnant fiancé?" you smirked, pointing to your belly.

you were due exactly 3 months after your wedding. so you both decided now was the perfect time to get married before you both had no time. "I guess I cant huh." he laughed, opening the bedroom door. you sat at the edge, watching his tall stature move to the shared bathroom.

as you watched him from your bed you smiled, thinking of all you both had been through. maybe it was the hormones, but you felt the tears well in your eyes. and it didnt go unnoticed either. " meine liebe? whats wrong?" he asked horridly, rushing over and wiping the tears from your eyes. you smiled and shook your head, placing a high kiss on his cheek.

"I just love you a lot. thats all." you whispered. he smiled, lifting you bridal style before kissing you passionately back. " Ich liebe dich mehr, meine liebe."

| tried to be cool and only highlight when y'all knew he was speaking at the end hehehe anyways guys this is like.. the end! if you guys would want one where the outcome is different and she stays with her current boyfriend lmkk cause I can do that too. but yea like I said thank you all so much for the love on this mini series <333 |

#konig #konig smut #konig fanfiction #konig x reader #cod #cod x reader #call of duty fan fiction #call of duty x reader

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the-s1lly-corner · 10 months

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Starlight, Starshine; an impenetrable disguise

its finally happening! i came up with a name for this little fanfic/one shot series/whatever this is going to be! obligatory title is ripped from a steam powered giraffe song (go listen to starlight starshine, its literally sun+moon x reader core im begging you) anyways! Starlight, Starshine is going to be a collection of self indulgent writings between our favorite animatronic and reader! from multiple different aus, though it will mostly center around 2! one au thats "everything is fine nothing bad happens please i just want them ALL to be happy" and the other is a silly dumb idea of "what if reader who used to work at the pizzaplex takes eclipse home and repairs them and ect ect happens"! todays little fic is based off of that! im so sorry about the long authors note, i really need to make it a habit to shorten these but yk obligatory admin is not used to writing fics and theyre still trying to find their style in terms of writing so ! most of these one shots also arent going to be in order, due to the nature of this being a collection of writings for at least 2 aus so for the most part theres no need to read them all to understand a greater story!

Summary: Months after the reader brings Eclipse to their home and repairs them, sun and moon must get accustomed to their new environment. however sun has some plans...

Extra notes: this one is primarily sun centered, reader has a dog, author is attempting at comedy, not proof read we die like men so expect a few grammar mistakes and spelling errors, a lot of this one shot also contains more context and exposition (???) to the "Taken Home" au referenced above, author is not confident in their writing skills and hasnt written a full fledged fic in a year or two, author also isnt used to writing proper dialogue so take that as you will, reader is GN/typically wont be given pronouns due to authors general writing style/POV, he/they pronouns for sun and moon they /them for eclipse, really this is just an experimental piece with a vague idea i had last night, nothing too special more so an exercise to get me back into writing, author is still trying to figure out how to write personalities so these are very likely to be OOC

The first word that came to your mind when describing Sun was "odd". He looked odd, he acted odd, he had odd rituals that he carried out in your home. However it wasn't a bad kind of odd.

It'd been a few months since you took the former daycare attendant to your home, and repaired them. You had already grown close to the pair long before the closure of the pizzaplex, being an extra set of hands in the daycare. You didnt even know they were still active within the building when you decided to explore the remains; already taken on the form of Eclipse, who at the time of your discovery was trying in vain to clean the wreckage. Of course repairing them wasn't easy given you had limited experience in... basically rebuilding an animatronic; but against all odds you made it work! You let them take the guest bedroom, not that either of them used it; they would much rather spend their time hovering around you.

It took a lot of getting used to, for everyone involved, but you were all adjusting quite nicely!

Mostly...

You see, Sun didnt like being cooped up.. your home being considerably smaller than the daycare he was so used to. Leading to todays horrible plan.

"Sunflower," You said through lightly clenched teeth as you watched the sun themed animatronic tug on an oversized hat. He really couldn't be doing this... this wasnt going to work, no one is this dumb to fall for this plan!

The plan in question? Well, Sun thinks it would be a good idea to wander about outside in a "disguise" of sorts; said disguise consisting of the aforementioned hat, sunglasses, a face mask, and a entirely new outfit. Obviously, it looked at convincing as it sounded.

Sun hummed and spun on his feel to look at you, already putting your dog on a leash. "Yeeees starshine?" He asked as he scratched your dog between the ears. "This isnt a good idea," You mumbled as you watched him make his way to the door. "Nonsense! There's hardly anyone out, it'll only be a quick walk around the park!" Sun cheered.

The second word that comes to your mind when you think to describe Sun, is "stubborn", as when he made his mind up on something you can almost guarantee that he would follow through with the plan. So now, you were following behind him, keeping your eyes peeled for anyone who could see him. If he weren't so tall, or if he could tuck his rays in, or didn't emit a mechanical creak with every step he made then perhaps, the plan may have just worked... perhaps.. maybe..

No, it wouldn't, you can see his metal neck from where you were standing.

"Remember, only one lap," You reminded him as you succumbed to his will, much to his delight as his pace picked up just ever so slightly.

To his credit, he was right about not many people being out and about, mostly in part due to the fact it was still early in the morning. Just light enough to keep Sun in control, but just early enough for most to still be sleeping or still getting ready for work. However, the park wasn't empty, mostly it was early morning joggers; who thankfully didn't pay much mind to the two of you outside of giving a half wave as they passed.

There were even a few parents around with their small children walking with them; be it they were walking them to school or simply taking them to take in the early morning air... Sun's body seemed to perk up at the sight of the children, loudly greeting them with a good morning; leaving both them and the parents slightly bewildered at his high energy.

There were others, who had decided to also take their dog out for an early walk. The people once again weren't an issue, as they seemed to miraculously fall for Sun's disguise from a distance.

Their dogs weren't fooled, though. Multiple dogs began to bark and growl as they passed by. "Oh I'm so sorry, I don't know what's gotten into him!" was said a few times throughout the walk. Again, the owners somehow didnt seem to notice the fact Sun was an animatronic, mostly due to having to restrain their dog from lunging forward at him.

The closest call, however, came from Sun excitedly taking up an offer for someone to pet their dog. For you see, Sun didnt think far enough ahead to cover his hands, thus leaving his hands in clear sight. Add in the fact that the dog bit Sun as he leaned forward to pet them.

Of course, the man noticed, and before he could say a word or question, you blurted out that it was a prosthetic hand. Though, you're not sure that the man bought it, as he was now craning his neck up to look up at Sun's round, flat face.

He slinked off. Whether it be he didn't have the energy to deal with it, or he simply just didnt care, or somehow believed you, he left.

Thankfully, that last interaction happened as you and Sun were beginning to loop back to where you started. Before Sun could begin to beg for a second round around the park, you started to walk him home; hand in hand.

"Oh that was so so fun! Starshine we gotta do this more often, everyone was so nice, " Sun chirped as you approached your front door. In his excitement he had begun to skip in long strides, forcing you to speed up your walk to a light jog.

"Yeah, again... maybe we can go earlier in the morning? You know we cant risk anything, I mean, if I get caught with you I could probably get sent to," You trailed off as Sun suddenly shoved something into your hands.

A handful of flowers that he had pulled up from the ground, he must have grabbed them while on the walk. How did you not notice? Were you that nervous of being found out by others?

A third word to describe Sun would be sweet. Even through his oddity and stubbornness, he still thought of you. Always so considerate.

Now that you think about it, you realize this may be the first time Sun has touched a real living flower.

You frowned, slightly. It made sense, he wasnt permitted to step foot outside of the pizzaplex, and its not like many people were giving him bouquets of fresh flowers. Usually if they did it'd be the obviously fake plastic ones. Sure, sometimes the kids would give him paper flowers.

"Can we go again tomorrow?" Sun asked as he watched you fumble around with the cluster of flowers... some were weeds, but.. its the thought that counts.

"Of course, Sunflower," You said before you could let yourself think logically.

Well, there was no taking it back, now. How could you, when Sun quickly stamped his heels in excitement as he dashed inside your home.

Perhaps you'll pick some flowers for him tomorrow, too.

yeah idk about this one yall LMAO, i genuinely didnt know where i was going with this one nor did i know how to end it, if that wasnt obvious SOBS im so not used to writing actual stories, im so used to short scenarios and headcannons... gotta fix that anyways i still have a few more ideas i want to write, but! thats it for the first one shot for Starlight, Starshine !

#fnaf sun #fnaf sun x reader #sunrise x reader #sunrise x you #sundrop x reader #sundrop x you #fnaf sb x reader #fnaf security breach #fnaf security breach x reader #fnaf daycare attendant #daycare attendant x reader #fluff #author isnt used to writing #help

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babyfrogstuff · 9 months

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[long sobstory incoming, sorrz]

I wanted to share with you the moment my mind was 100% made up that i was going to get skinny, no matter what

basically all my life i never actually cared much about my weight, i was never overweight but definitely not skinny either

Sobstory happened about a year and a half ago, insert me having a HUGE crush on this guy I'd always see when i went clubbing

and with huge crush i mean absolute obsession, being near him, hearing his name, seeing pictures of him made my head get dizzy with dopamine, my eyes had fr stars in them and I'd get so so nervous and shaky, it was seriously bad, i loved this guy more than I'd ever loved anyone before

i was well aware he never loved me, and that was okay with me as long as i was by his side, we became good friends and even spent 1 or 2 nights in bed together (yea, we did that)

even though i knew he was only using me for my body i didn't care, it was the happiest time of my life and i loved every second i was with him

one day he brings this girl, 7 years younger than him (legal). She was this really grumpy but cute goth girl, she was very short and DEF an 4n4 girl, she mustve weight no more than 40 - 45kg. Short, frail, VERY skinny, pretty and also not an asskisser like me. I could tell he liked her, but introduced her as his new friend. He always treated her like his little sister, often referring to her as such. i could see why he liked her so much, she was perfect. they started hanging out together all the time, i started to take my distance as i didn't want to seem pushy, and she already replaced me the second he brought her with him. all of that was fine with me, sure i was jealous as fuck and wanted her to leave and never come back but it was his decision who he hung out with.

the first painful memory that made me regret not being skinny happened after a nice night of clubbing, at around 4am. us 3 were all standing in front of the club, everyone was leaving and we parted our ways. just before i left them to go home, i hear her say "I'm too tired, i can't walk" which isn't unusual for her, since she is so skinny she has issues with physical activities. he responded with "want me to carry you?" she just nodded. I stood there, icy toxic jealously brewing in my gut as i watched him squat down, her sitting on his shoulders, him standing up and just walking away with that cute little goth girl on his shoulders, zero effort required, as if they'd done that a million times before

would he have done that to me if i was skinny?

my absolute disappointment and jealousy ruined my whole week, but of course i didn't say anything

things stayed like that for a while, until one day i was out with him, goth girl stayed home

it was a few minutes into our conversation, when he told me he got a girlfriend now

his beaming happy face made it impossible for me to react negatively, although it felt like my world just crashed down on me

he told me he'd met her just a few days prior, it wasn't goth girl, it was a very pretty, skinny girl named Louise, she wasn't quite as skinny as goth girl, but still a lot less than me

he told me in conversations before that he really likes girls skinny

now it's totally understandable if i get hate for this next part, but i don't care. it was my last desperate attempt to get his attention back to me, it was futile anyway

next time i saw him i purposely wore clothes that i knew he couldn't resist, he had a pretty easy way of turning him on after all, as i suspected he asked to come to my place afterwards and we did the deed together one last time, it didnt even feel good anymore because i felt like i needed to cling to him as to not loose him, i feared that if i hadn't done what i did he would have just vanished from my life, i couldn't take that

my fear was almost confirmed, as the next day he sat me down and told me no more of that, he loves louise and wants to focus on her an be with her

I accepted and agreed without the slightest resistance, even though it tore me apart, but on the other hand i saw it coming

they got together officially, and i saw him less and less, i picked my distance from him out of respect and guilt towards Louise

the next time i saw him both of them were together, in the club, on the dancefloor, having the time of their life

that was when i realised once again that i could never have been with him, i had put him on a pedestal so high i could do nothing more than admire him from afar, dancing with him freely like that would have never been an option, i worshipped him way too much, while Louise saw eye to eye with him

the second stab in the heart was when, during their dancing, he swept her up like she weighed nothing and spun her around like she was a princess

not only that, but the sheer joy and happiness i saw in his face at that moment was mesmerising. His usually gloomy bored eyes literally sparkled, creases of happiness next to them. His usual bored expression turned into the biggest goofy childish grin, in all the time ive known him ive never seen him like that, he never even gave me a fraction of that golden smile

I stood there in the middle of the crowd, utterly heartbroken and starstruck by what i was witnessing, and a few things manifested in my head that moment

now, i will spare you the rest of the crummy details

time-skip to the present day, the obsession has mostly faded at this point. I have a wonderful, healthy boyfriend whom i love and loves me. I have a good home situation and on a good career path. At the end of the day, when i think back, i probably really dodged a bullet. Some details i didn't mention was that he was a dad (he's not old but had a whoopsie 2 years ago) and refuses to care for it, he's a cøkë addict, emotional manipulator and if i really think about it, i dont think he even really liked me.

What I learned from those experiences however, was that even if i dont do this for a boy, i will never let myself be fat and 2nd choice ever again. To this day I wonder what could have been if I'd been skinny from the start, if anything would have changed at all. Now dont get me wrong, if this guy ever needed something from me, money, company, or a shoulder to cry on I'd give it to him in a heartbeat. I won't however let him near my heart or body ever again, I've learned the hard way that that just hurts either way.

I want to be skinny for myself now, for my boyfriend so he can show me off, for my friends as inspiration and ideally for him to look at me and think "Oh, maybe I shouldn't have let her go"

its a little hard to explain that i dont want anything romantic or sexual from this guy at all, but i still seek his validation

obsession is the worst form of love, but it also feels so damn good, the constant highs and lows, so happy to the point you squeal and kick your legs thinking about them, so devastated you turn to sëlf-härm!ng tendencies to cope

But anyway, stay skinny, so that if you ever get rejected for whatever reason you at least know its not because you're fat, because that hurts like absolute hell

I have no idea if there's a moral to this story, interpret it as you wish, and dont date cøkerz

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vlassk · 2 years

Text

Banshee Episode 1

An- welcome welcome, this is going to be a stranger type of story from the last one. This time you have Powers. Also this is just a Pilot to check some stuff out. I don't want Reader to be a number but I might have to settle of 000 or Zero even though she was Technically found out second.

Song of the day

Summary- y/n was a very happy child growing up, having supportive parents who looked out for you. But it all came Crumbling down

Warnings - Blood, gore, panic attacks, kidnaping, crying, guns

Paring- Henry creel/ 001 x reader

1959 --

"Sweetie!! Come down for breakfast!" Your mother called as you ran down the stairs. You were caught and picked up by your father who only threw you in the air and caught you in a big hug, you giggled as he put you down to let you have breakfast.

"What did you make" you say happily waiting for the plates to land on the table. Your father smiled and grabbed a plate, laying it down showing you the Pancakes and Bacon and eggs. Your face widens in happiness.

Family meals were the best times for you.

You lived a happy life. For all your 8 years of life you enjoyed it all. Your mother stayed at home and your father worked at some random Oil company. But either way You had a happy family. Even when you started to show some weird signs. When you were first born your mother had a strange connection to you, she loved you more than anything. You were apart of her.

When you first hit 8 years old your mother felt her connection reaching another point, it didnt end because you got older but she knew it got stronger in a way even Your mother didnt understand. You didnt even notice the way your mother saw you.

As you ate your food you suddenly look up

"Father you should check on Mr.William after dinner" you say calmly going back to eating your food happily. Your father slowly looked at you, looking back at his wife in a small panic. He smiles at you and agrees, trying to eat his own food.

The panic only really set in after dinner, when your father kissed you in the cheek and kissed your mother, he got his jacket and decided to check on your neighbor. An Old man who lived alone. As he knocked on the door he only became more and more scared. He cracked the unlocked door open and smelt the horrible smell. It ran through the air like some disease that could kill him any moment, he ran back to His house and called the cops.

A few minutes later Mr. Williams was brought out, having had Heart issues a day or two later. In the hot spring heat his body became a mess. Your mother never knew how you knew to check on the old man, Nor was she afraid but just confused

"Is Mr. Williams ok?" You say quietly, holding your moms hand. She nods and smiles

"Thank you for telling daddy to go check on him Y/N..." She squeezes your hand lightly and hands you one if the Baked goods she had made.

As you got a bit older your oddness continued to grow. Whenever a dog or cat would roam the neighborhood and went missing you could some how point out where they would be, or give an estimate on how long you have with it. On the rare occasion you did the same with humans. Even if you somehow knew about the Death that ran through the neighborhood you didnt let it make you sad.

However. One night it all changed.

As you Woke up the Morning of March 25th a feeling of sadness and dred ran through you. As you went downstairs your mother instantly noticed, your father tried to cheer you up but nothing would work.

"Father can you check on this family?" You say jumping up on the chairs.

"What family sweetie" your father looks at you, the same panic found its way like it always did. You didnt know who but you explained how it was down the street and to the Left.

You usually never went with him to these places but this time you had to. It was so early only your father was really wide awake. Your mother getting up to do her daily activities before you even started your day.

But this time you had to go. You couldn't let him leave alone. As you sat and cried and begged to go your mother finally pulled you away having enough of your breakdown. Your Father was heading to his car, putting on his hat and going inside, as you saw this you turned to Bit your mother, the tears pouring out already. As you pulled away from your mother and ran outside you tripped on one if the Porch stairs and falling. As your dad drove off something ran through your bones. Your whole body.

As you reach out for your father your brain goes Fuzzy, your eyes start to dart around looking for something to get your father out. You cry more and start to scream, small screams at first as your mom was about to grab you and once her hands were about to touch you, you let out a Violent Screech. Not just any Child outburst, But as you Screeched a large Sonic wave exits from your mouth, your Mother is Thrown back and she covered her ears. You stopped for a second noticing the bloody nose you had and seeing the harm you did to the grass and fence along with the small Mail box, you feel more rage and sadness wash over you as you throw your head back and begin to scream more, destroying the tree branches that slightly covered you as you Wailed.

As your father showed up at the street he saw a hord of Cop cars outside a house. He drives across the street to see body bags being carried out. The feeling if dred fell on him as he Heard the loud Scream. He turned around towards his House seeings birds fly away. He wondered about what it was and if you were alright after he left. There was no doubt your father loved you, he just feared you. He was taken out of his thoughts as someone tapped his shoulder. As he turned her saw the man in front of him.

"Hello...you heard that too?" The man slightly smiles.

"Uh...yeah uh, I just heard about the cops and wanted to check it out, I better be going" as your Father Tried to turn away the man grabbed his shoulder again, this time as he turned he saw other men.

"Let's have a chat..." The man says as he pulls your dad into a van. This man begins to interrogate your father taking it as far to Tie him up and have his men beat him.

"What was that noise..." He keeps asking. Soon enough your father breaks. Afraid of what you were and tired of dealing with it all.

Your father closes his eyes tired and done, he means back in the seat as one of the mans men pulls out a gun and pulls the trigger.

Your mom finally pulled you into the house, you still crying and weeping as your tired body slumped into the house. Your mother tried to figure out what happened, what was happening as you heard a knock

Your mother opens the door hoping its your Father as she freezes at the door. The same man approached her, pushing her aside as him and his men walked into the house.

"Hey what do you think you're doing in my house?! Get out ! Get out now! "As your mom tried to push them back she was thrown down fell on a side table. Hurting her arms and falling to the floor. The Man approached you slowly, crouching down and moving your hair away.

"GET AWAY FROM HER!" Your mother screamed trying to crawl towards you, as you look up tiredly you see her get kicked. Your body almost feeling it.

"Mommy..." You get up slowly. Trying to regain any energy you had.

"Its okay little one. My name is Dr. Brenner, what's yours?" The man goes to hide your mother, holding up a hand to order the men he had behind him .

"My name...my name is Y/n...y/n l/n..." You almost fall back down , meaning against the stairs as you look at the man.

"Did you do the scream?" He says in a calming tone, you nod slowly, ready to fall asleep.

"NO STO-"you hear another beating agaisnt your mother. Your brain still not comprehending what was going on. You see your mother in between the mans arms. Her body beaten as she cried and reached to you. Your body ached for her, feeling more tears coming on you begin to slowly cry, the man notices and covers her again, picking you up and carrying you to the kitchen. You sit on the chairs as he and another man Sit by you. The bigger man trying to hold you up.

You can hear your moms crying through the wall. The man tries to ask you more questions

"Why was your papa at that house?" The man leans a little closer as you quietly respond

"I... I knew something happened, I get these feelings and something always happens"

You lean against the table. Laying your head down on the table

Your mom struggles against the men as she kicks one of them, running towards you as a gunshot is heard. She slows down and leans against the doorway, almost to you. You lift your head up and slowly begin to turn to her. The Main man lifts his hand and moves it around. Your mother is dragged back and another shot is heard. As you turn around you see your mom laying on the floor. Blood pooling around her.

Your body goes limp again, Your head rests behind the chair as you look up, more tears start to pour out the Men next to you is told to get you out through the back , as he back you up you break free again, pushing him away as you fall before the man could get you away another loud Screech was heard, the men covering their ears. You turn to face the man, as the Sonic wave of sound pushes him back and through the wall, blood started to fall from your nose. Once you stop you slowly turn to Dr.Brenner, the man stands back . you start opening your mouth, ready to scream again even if it took everything out of you, but you were knocked out by one if the men that shot your mother.

You woke up in a white room. Your were in some random Hospital gown and strapped to a chair. you looked over at the large mirror on the wall, looking at your hair, it was cut short not fully buzzed off but short enough to where you couldn't put it in A pony tail.

You hear the door click, as the man Before steps in

"Hello y/n... How did you sleep"

"I ...I don't know..."

"What do you remember" the man asks pulling up anither chair and sitting down

"I...you hurt mommy and daddy didnt you" you say quietly. Not understanding why anything was happening like this

"...how did you know about your father" the man looks at you confused. Knowing full well you weren't even in the same car as he was.

"I felt it..." You furrowed your eyebrows looking at the man.

"From now On You will call me Papa... When we let you free you will be meeting someone. Will you be okay with that?" The man smiles softly standing up.

"Will you Kill me like you killed them" you say about to cry again. Brenner had a bit of fear in him.

"That was an accident. I'm sorry we did that but they would have hurt you more if we didnt get you. We will understand you more then they ever could. And we could help you" the man walks over to you, holding your hand softly and reassuring you.

"We won't hurt you ,I promise"

"Okay..." You say softly. Calming down as you sniffled away any other feelings.

A few hours later of getting random people come in and out to speak you, you were finally released. A large man holds your hand as you slowly get off of the chair. Once you leave the room you see Brenner again,

"Hello Y/n...feeling any better" he smiles at you, you hesitate before you respond

"Hello...papa... I'm okay" you gave a forced smile, even as a Child you knew this place was wrong.

You were guided down the long hallway and into a room with a boy. He was older than you but not a teen.

"Y/n...This is Peter, but you may call him 001" brenner closes the door as the boy sits up from the chess board and turns towards you, his eyebrows furrowed. He looked more angry, you slowly backed away into Papa. He out his hand on your shoulders and you saw the reflection in the mirror, he gave a stern look to the boy, who softened his face

"001 this is Y/N ... You may call her by that name okay?" Brenner let's you go with a soft push, you walk towards the boy and hold out your hand, he shakes it softly and looks back at Papa.

"What are you doing" you ask softly sitting down across from him

"Its called Chess..." He says as he moves another piece.

"Can you teach me how it works?" The boy nods and for the next hour he teaches you about all the weird toys in the room. Brenner steps out, carfully watching you from the double sided mirror. He notices 001 look back at him sometimes. His face would smile with the girl but once he looked into the mirror his face blanked.

That was the just the beginning for you and him.

#spotify #henry creel #fanfic #peter ballard #stranger things #vecna stranger things #x fem!reader #vecna x reader #vecna's curse #001 x reader #howling banshee #001 x you #001 stranger things #peter ballard x y/n #peter ballard x reader #henry creel x reader #st4 vol1

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phoenixfangs · 2 months

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tagged by @rizaposting HOLDING UR HAND AND PRESSING MY FOREHEAD AGAINST UR SHOULDER i never get tagged in these so this is fun huehue

are you named after anyone? not technically, ive asked my parents multiple times about How they came up with me and my siblings names, but they just. didnt think very hard about it. fjkdlsjfdlas. but in a way im named after my mom, because me and saturns given names start with the same letter as our moms; my younger siblings names start with the same letter as our dads. i guess me and saturn could also be named for one of my dads uncles?? our names mixed make that uncles name. but idk im not willing to believe my dad cares that much about Anyone in his family to honor their memory through our names lawl

when was the last time you cried? i think the other day watching atla, when zuko and iroh reunite before the final battle. zuko trying to stumble through an apology and thinking iroh must hate him, but iroh just without even saying anything grabbing zuko and pulling him into a tight and tearful hug... man ;_;

do you have kids? HELL NO!!!!! im barely halfway through my 20s i should be at the club. dont want kids, never wanted kids, will never want kids. i will tolerate being my nieces and nephews cool auncle when my siblings start having kids of their own, and No More, thanks

do you use sarcasm a lot? i guess so?? its hard to gauge. i feel like most of the time i speak sincerely, but i will also throw in the occasional sarcastic quip. shrugs

what sports do you play? i dont play any sports anymore, but up until high school i played softball. i was pretty good i think! pitcher and second base. also in middle/high school i was a baton twirler for band and i guess dance competitions (i have Never thought of it as 'dance' but i guess technically i was dancing... blegh), and im gonna count that as a sport. any activity with the possibility and probability of being hit on the head by a metal rod counts as a sport to me

what’s the first thing you notice about people? probably their height. most people are taller than me but i will make an immediate note of people who are Shorter than me

what’s your eye color? grrrreen gray? i spent a few minutes staring at my eyes trying to figure out the color but all i did was strain my eyes jfldks

scary movies or happy endings? hmmmmmm i love both. i like blood and gore and guts and evil, but i also like heartwarming fluff where everything works out. i cant decide!! it just depends on my mood hehe

any special talents? i hesitate to claim i have perfect pitch because it sounds self congratulatory, but im pretty sure i have perfect pitch lmao. i cant Identify notes by name but i can recreate pretty much any note i hear, as long as its in my range. im not a good singer though lawl i dont have the technique. in the same vein, i can recreate other noises i hear pretty well, like i taught myself how to do the perry the platypus clicking sound Thing he does just by listening to it

where were you born? texas born and raised! everyone i knew growing up was a redneck or a 'cowboy church' christian

what are your hobbies? drawing, writing fanfic oneshots or rps with friends, bideo games, rewatching the same handful of tv shows and letsplays and video essays over and over again

do you have any pets? my son, my sweet bubby, apollo :> my stupid little man, hes gonna be 3 this year i think! flame point siamese kitty, dumb as rocks, currently i think hes burrowed in the sheets on my bed taking a nappy

how tall are you? 5'2", but add a couple inches because i almost exclusively wear shoes that add height, like my Big Dyke Boots i wear every day hehe

favorite subject in school? any of my electives probably, like art and music/band. in college my favorite classes i ever took were film appreciation, screenwriting, and theatre directing (which i signed up for thinking it was film directing, but it was still so fun and interesting)

dream job? honestly?? i think anything on the set of a movie or tv show would be awesome. maybe creative consultant, so that i can interject my own ideas into other peoples projects. i tend to feel my most creative when im working Around other peoples ideas tbh. all that, or lead writer/director on my own tv show/movie/video game, if i ever feel like i can handle that pressure

GET TAGGED @applescabs @lizardyeast @cottagegay and anyone else that sees and wants to participate :>

#mine #this is such a classic type of post. u never see people do tag memes anymore i feel like #i hardly ever see them anyway!

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bananafire11 · 5 months

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vent

please dont read if youre not in the right space rn. heavy on anger and feels. just wanna type it out somewhere and this blog is my safe space so

i am so fucking angry right now. like the kind of anger thats pent up and bubbles beneath the skin and is ready to implode out at any fucking second and i hate it so much. i dont feel like i have very good reasons for feeling this way either. or maybe im downplaying those reasons, i dunno

i dont want to bother any of my friends with this shit. i feel guilty because ik they have their OWN struggles. ik feeling this way is silly because i help them through so much, and am so glad to do so. but theres always this doubt.

anyway. on discord, i put my status on DNIUC sometimes because i just need space and ik that most of my close friends will see this and know to be careful that day. or if they text and im slow to respond, ik they understand. but theres these friends who KEEP spamming. and its driving me FUCKING MAD. one, who is very close and gosh i love them so much, sends me so much every day. youd think after the first few times i didnt respond, he'd get the fucking jist and think "ill stop there" but instead he KEEPS ON. ITS OVERWHELMING. and the subject of these texts isnt bad or anything, but its always about him and his bf. i dont have the energy to talk about them 24/7. im beyond happy for him, that hes happy. but FUCK. im asexual and never have been in a relationship, and sometimes it feels like a fuckyou to me?? ik he doesnt mean it that way at all!! but!!! idk, sometimes its like theres a longing for a bf of my own. but i dont want to settle. ill wait for the right boy. right now, hes not here. and im not actively looking for a relationship, i have so much shit going on. so, i usually ignore this guys dms as long as i can. i feel guilty, but at the same time fucking furious that i even have to do it in the first place, if that makes sense. i love him dearly, but it's forced me to just put my status on 'invisible' so it looks like im offline. better to avoid people, ig.

theres another guy, who isnt as close, but ive made great friends with thus far in the time ive met him over a game i enjoy. but again, doesnt know when to stop. why are you texting me when it says dniuc!!! YOU ARENT CLOSE. ive explained 'close' is friends ive known for a year or so, which isnt exactly true actually... but i needed to tell him something that wouldnt hurt his feelings. after i clarified for the second time, he let up. but still. people are fucking annoying and its so FRUSTRATING that i love them because that makes shit so complicated.

then, family. ive been snowed in with my mom and sister for over a fucking week and I NEED OUT. i never thought id say this but I WANT TO BE AT SCHOOL. AWAY FROM HOME. my neighbors, who are more so aunt and uncle to me and my sister, let me go over and stay hours with them when i need it. but i dont feel like trecking thru the fking snow to get there. last night i stayed over and watched a favorite movie of mine with them and it was great, but having the energy to do that feels exhausting tonight.

im trying to distract myself with art, but its not working like it normally does. and its goddamn hard. tried videogames, youtube, but nothing is bringing me true relief. but i dont want to sleep either. ugh.

vent art, anger.

#banana brain blurbs #vent post

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whitetrashjj · 2 years

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hi! so i've recently finished the 100 very late i know and ahh! i've gotten to love bob and eliza as well after watching interviews of them im so happy theyre married they look so in love (i say this like i didnt spend the last 3 weeks of my life obsessing over them LMAO) and i was rly surprised to see that they kept denying hating the romantic bellarke agenda? especially in the earlier seasons, but it was SO obvious, to me at least, that they were the main ship of the show... i scoured the internet for reasons why but all i could get was that the fandom hates jroth and the fandom would like to bury jroth alive SDJHFDSHJ but yeah! still rly curious and ik you were actively in the fandom during the time so if you could just briefly explain i would be vvvvv grateful

Okay... I'm gonna try and give a bit of a run down of the history of beliza and bellarke and jroth and clexa and how that all influenced things. Keep in mind I wasn't in the fandom from the start so the beginning is second hand recounts.

Okay so from the start bellarke was obviously intended, they were canon in the books but clearly with the Finn thing and everything else they were going for a more slow burn kinda vibe which was good obviously. Now this is where the bellarke denial started, but it was more casual there. Like a playfull not trying to give away the slow burn or surprise (this is very typical for slow burn ships and that's why I love the Pates for how they are handling jiara). So all was well in the house.

At this point Bob and Eliza were really good friends so that wasn't a problem. At one point apparently Devon kinda let it slip that they were actually in a fwb kinda situation at some point during the early season. I never saw first hand proof of this but it was a known fact amongst the fandom and I find likely given where they ended up.

Now, I'm not 100% on the order of event here but the following happened over s2/s3. Two major things that changed the fate and reception of bellarke forever.

The first being clexa. Now, from a story telling pov clexa was never going to last and Lexa's fate was always sealed. But I'm not going to go too much into that whole thing. But obviously there was alot of hype around Lexa and that ship. Which Jason loved, that man is driven by ego and having thousands of people up his ass fuel him. So he shifted his focus to them, knowing full well he was going to kill Lexa. And then when the backlash hit he kept pandering to them - putting little Lexa mentions in to keep the viewer ship, to keep people talking about his show. And by result of this the bellarke denial came in strong and their romantic development or story like was put on hold.

Now meanwhile it seems beliza had a falling out, Bob started dating his long term gf Aryn and they would not attend cons together. Also time to double down on the bellarke denial. Only this time it was legit (not that bellarke wasn't happening or intended, but they didn't like it and didn't want it to happen) we got the infamous 'bellake shit' quote from Eliza, which she insisted she actually said 'ship', even tweeted it (has since then once happily married admitted that she said shit lol) And yeah while we were still getting the on screen hints it seemed no one was rooting for it personally.

Then. The tide turns. Bob and Aryn has broken up. And we hear an announcement. Bob and Eliza are going to a con together?? Wait. what? And this con. Let me tell you. Changed the world. They were best friends again. Now, I am not an irl people shipper, there have been very few that I have seen and speculated before they were together and these two were one. I can't remember exactly why but there was something in the air before that and I was sus. And then there were a few things, like Eliza was saying how her favourite song was Ophelia and then she turns to Bob and says 'you must be so sick of hearing it i play it so much' and I was hmm because are they spending that much time together? Bob was wearing a bunch of mardigras necklaces and when Eliza said she wanted one and a fan overheard bob saying to her something 'you'll have to give me something later for one' and then after break Eliza had some ??? Which people freaked out about but not enough in my opinion. And then the fact that (actually this might have been a later con my timeline is messy its been a while) Eliza was wearing an engagement ring and straight up told people she was engaged when they asked. People assumed it was to the guy who play mccrery because there was rumours of them dating but they hadn't been seen together in ages.

And then most importantly they were now pro-bellarke. Talking excitedly about the scenes. Saying themselves are sometimes confused because the script will saying something like 'bellamy looks at her lovingly.' but then Jroth continues to deny things. they weren't to the level of it now but they were for sure making it clear that jroth was gaslighting a fandom lol.

Anyway moving on to one quite morning, I hadn't touch social media all morning as it did laundry and when I finally take a break the fandom is imploding - thankfully I had only missed it by like 15minutes. But Bob and Eliza has both tweeted that they had gotten married with a pic of their hands on their wedding day. Now I instantly believed it - oh yeah it's all coming together. But there was all this shock because it seemingly came out of no where. People thought they had been hacked, and then other cast would congratulate them and then they were hacked. Certain people were saying its a cover because Eliza and Alycia actually got married, and other were saying Bob and Eliza were homophobic for getting married during pride month. But at the end of the day it was all true, there were married and it was happily ever after.

But for some reason this seemed to piss off JRoth and he seemed to get so much worse. At one point during the filming of season 7 i think (i get confused about later seasons it could have been 6 or 8) Bob and Jason unfollowed each other and we though it was hilarious until we realised what it could have meant. Recently beliza revealed that the bellarke get together was actually written, in a place that so many people has speculated and it would have made sense but at the last minute it was taken out.

It seemed like Jason didn't like the beliza was together, he was having more and more issues with Bob and Jason just didn't do bellarke out of spite. Did that stupid murder out of spite and gave a pandering ending for clexas out of spite.

Once the show was over beliza have been very open about how bellarke was always planned from the beginning and they don't understand why it never happened.

Any way I've been out of it for a while so I'm a bit foggy on the detail these days but that's the guts of it. Anyone is free to add

#lara answers #the 100 #bellarke #beliza

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auggietopia · 3 months

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i started this blog in december 2019. it was the first tumblr i was ever truly active on, and i had no idea how tags or anything worked. i was freshly 16 and at the age where i was just starting to discover who and what i was, and a lot of it came through in the poetry i posted here. i had very rigid ideas of what literature and poetry was, as i had stopped doing it for a very long time. i wanted attention. i was eager, although i didnt know it then. i was hopeful.

covid hit three months later, in march 2020. i was in the year group whose gcses were cancelled. i posted one poem right as covid hit, in march, and then my last poem i posted in september of 2020 around when i started sixth form, after the longest summer i will ever have in my life. it was also the best summer i have had in my life. i spent 5 months calling with my best friends so constantly to the point i woke up at 6pm and went to bed at 9am just to talk to them. i realised my identity and tried to come out to a mother i would quickly find out was transphobic. i made a lot of friends. i started to gain some real footing on who i was.

i blinked and i am in march 2024. it is four years and a few days since i posted my second to last poem, which is a number that feels truly shocking to type out as it feels like it has been a year at most. in 2019 i turned 16, but in 2024 i will turn 21. this fact upsets me as the absolute formative amount of ageing i went through between the ages of 13-16 feels like it was my entire life and that there isnt room for anything else worthwhile to occur. on my 18th birthday, i held the frog teddy i bought for myself and listened to lord huron at full volume to block out the fear blurring its way into the edges like a migraine. on my 19th birthday, i was alone and terrified in my university dorm. i can't even remember my 20th birthday because of how insignificant it was. ageing, past the age of 18, went from being something exciting to something terrifying in a way i told myself it never would. and yet i am still here, and yet i still age. in a few months, it will be my 21st, and it will likely be at home, and it will likely be alone.

in the space between 16 and now, a lot happened. there were some pretty good things. they sit tiny next to the fact i lost my best friend in 2021 because they turned out to be quite literally the worst person i have ever known on this planet. i will never forgive them for what they did. realistically, every problem i hold against them is so small in the scale of the universe that maybe it isn’t worth holding onto at all, but i have not learned that lesson. i am aggressively refusing that lesson, in fact. at least for right now.

my mental health also took the biggest nosedive it has ever taken. sixth form shut down all sense of self discovery i had once i begin to nosedive in my academics and lose all of my friends. i still havent regained my footing. it has been 2 years since i left sixth form, and i still havent regained my footing.

but it is nice to look back over this blog and not regret a single thing i wrote.

all of this is to say i am going to start posting here again. and, in the most cliche way possible, i am going to do it for me this time. and i am going to post whatever i want without caring whether or not it is refined enough, because life is scarily fleeting and i can do whatever i want.

i was first allergictodrowning, and when i thought that was stupid i became autumndrowns, and now i will be something else that i havent decided yet but it will definitely be equally as stupid. :)

#writers on tumblr #writing #my work #poem #fiction #literature #my writing #do most of these tags apply? no #can anyone stop me? also no #poetry #poems #covid #covid 19 #mental health #art in covid #i am cringe but i am free

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aroaceconfessions · 1 year

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some warnings for non-consesual contact + kissing

hii this is an update to a post from last sep/aug about very poorly set boundaries between my aroace ass and a very close friend (who, at that point, had said that they no longer liked me romantically) that essentially led to friend hugging/touching me more than I was comfortable with along with friend saying that they think that they're aroace too so I stuck around believing it without fixing my boundaries (so hugs continued).

Now, I have to say that my dumbass didnt listen to the advice from the previous post (thank you to those who said friend was a red flag). I let things snowball into them getting more comfortable with hugging me and they got close enough to kiss me.

And. well.

I was able to stay away from them for about a month (getting a mild but long-lasting Covid was an odd blessing along with having a very busy schedule). But after that I ran out of excuses. I just. let things continue. I guess they noticed I wasn't really reacting all (and that I didn't let them close enough to kiss me again) that well, because then we had a talk and they told me they still liked me romantically. Over the phone. Where I was far enough to forget that that friend made me so uncomfortable.

I put on my "everything is fine I promise" voice and said well u can't do anything about how u feel and ur a pretty good friend (and they were! except for the fact that they liked me romantically and that makes me want to vomit) so we'll stay close, just don't expect anything romantic from me. I continued to talk and let them hug me and whatever else. (And they invited me to stay with their family in some place they were renting out for christmas???? luckily I had the balls to say no)

then, mid-december, a childhood friend reached out (we'll call them dipper) and i told them everything about friend. dipper said, "Well fuck that, stop replying to them!" so I did.

Fast forward to now, where I'm typing up this post. Just an hour ago friend texted me to go stay somewhere overnight again (theyve sent other messages before that I was able to ignore). I'm pretty sure some other mutual friends were going to that overnight thing as well but I've essentially cut those other people out cuz they just saw me as an extension of friend. so.

It's the dumbest thing ever because right after they messaged I just felt guilt and regret. We were really close for nearly two years before anything really bad happened and I was loathe to cut them out in the first place becuase they were the only person I actively spoke to at some point. And when the first issues started coming up I would always say that it was fine and that I was okay with the touching so isn't it kind of my fault that it happened anyway???

In other words, I felt obligated to reply to them (I haven't, yet. Thought I might have by the time this is posted). I told dipper about it and they said that I should probably talk to friend about everything and I think I will. It probably isn't healthy that I spend everyday dreading getting a message from friend. That when I do get a message my heart drops to the pit of my stomach. And how when we're together my first instinct is to just. stop thinking and act like everything is fine. (Not to mention that I haven't felt safe enough to genuinely tell them about what I've been up to in ages)

So.

I will (hopefully) tell friend about everything. No platitudes. No "everything is fine". It would be a great way to start the year right, too.

Um. I didn't think this would be so lengthy but I guess it's just proof that I've let things go for too long. Honestly, without dipper I think i would have just continued letting things be. I'll go for now. Maybe I'll have an update again in a few months. who knows?

and thank you, admin(s), for this page. everything here has been a lot of help with my own realizations.

💛

#aromantic #asexual #aroace #aspec #aro #ace #arospec #acespec #arose #friends #friendship

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obsolete-stars-if · 4 months

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progress update

1st feb 2024

like i wanted to do this year on every 1st of each month, we have a general progress update, what ive been up to, general stats, plans for the upcoming month, how the last month treated me and how i treated this game. lots of personal detail will happen.

january has been the least productive month yet, im trying to not let it get to me, i had to take lots of breaks, my bed literally broke down on me on the 1st and it took over 2 weeks to get the new bed to me. sleeping on the ground made writing so impossible bcs i got chronic pain flair ups, migraines as well as hip pain. it was agony. i did however cleaned my room and got a new bed and this change of paste was really welcome. now that i finally have an actual desk to write on again, I can look outside my window and watch the squirrels while i write, so beautiful. that does mean i didnt finish chapter 7 which is a bummer, but im trying to stay positive. i did publish part 2 in a more rough than usual state, just bcs i needed it out, i wouldve lost my mind if i didnt update it. I allowed myself to take a break from OS since the last update, bcs even if i didnt actively wrote most of jan, i still thought about OS and beat myself up for not writing. And i had some time to work on other things that I plan for the future, others stories i wanna tell some day (im not starting a new wip bcs i will literally never finish anything if i do), and also just, reading and drawing without thinking about OS too much. It were only a few days, but it was a much needed break, bcs since OS went officially online last May, there wasnt really a day where i didnt think about OS.

stats from Jan: I wrote a total of 8.477 words over the 8 days that i worked on this. That doesnt sound much, but its still about 1k words each day. obv the 8,5k words arent the 20k I set out to do in the beginning of January, but im just happy i did something.

The game is now over 70k words long (including code, i wrote that shit imma count it), i know its not as much as other ppls wips, but damn, it feels crazy to me, knowing i sat down, laptop on my lap (in my bed primarily) and just wrote that much in less than a year.

Plans for feb: for the love of god i need to get chapter 7 done. i also set the goal to 10k, since there are less days in february and i know that i might not get the time to write as i will be job hunting, yay. the goal will be adjusted in march depending on if and what job i get maybe. in general im pretty scared of february and march, bcs i will lose the financial aid and im not sure yet how the fuck will i finance myself, since moving back with my mom is a no. and i refuse to open a kofi or patreon. im very against earning money from my hobby and i hope i dont have to resort to it ever. (personal opinion)

Anyway, thanks for listening and lets hope that february will be a good month, ey

#obsolete stars if #obsolete stars #progress update #february #janurary #writing #personal

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rogdona · 9 months

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drop the oc lore 👀

Youre my first ask hiiiiii 👋👋👋

(I TRIED TO MAKE IT SHORT I SWEARR but it got kinda long so ill put it under a read more so i dont clog ur dashh)

idk which oc you want to know more ab so ill choose elias, ullula and rogdona(the one my blog is named after!!) Since theyre the ones w a set story thats kept p consistent w time.

so basically ullula is a goddess who elias' family worshipped. They were p active in her church and very devout

they town they lived in was kinda isolated, near the forest and the river

ullula, taking the form of a surubi (idk the english word 😔) visits elias when he was a kid and ventured to the river, he recognized her as the goddess, they talked, he kept visiting

eventually they got closer, ullula had thought it was a good idea to interact with her followers but didnt expect eli to become so attached (yknow that one text.. something something divinity will stain your fingers like a pomegranate, spit you out dark red and wanting, greedy human fingers grasping at what u can reach)

She decides to test him, see how far hes willing to go because maybe they can go back to being friends instead of him becoming a blind follower whod rather listen to her than reason... But twas too late 🤷 eli failed the test (something something perhaps abraham failed the test. God never speaks to abraham again)

Ullula doesnt appear before him again, thinking it best not to involve herself anymore and keeping her distance. Elias, distraught, keeps seeking her out, waiting for her by the river, making himself more present at church in hopes of fixing what she saw broken, etc

Years pass, ullula still missing. He takes over the church after the last leaders passing, having worked there for many years starting some time after ullulas disappearence

He puts his everything into the church, every event planned meticulously, every sermon spoken with reverence unmatched, but it was not enough to bring ullula back

Years keep passing and hes getting desperate, everything is done the way its supposed to so why isnt she coming??

He gets to the conclusion that maybe its because time feels different for them both, after all, for a god thats lived since forever a few decades might be nothing at all, right?

He starts feeling like hes running out of time, despite having a good part of his life that hes yet to live so he seeks out a creature of the forest to strike a deal with

Those who know say its unwise to venture into the deep of the forest, especially alone, but he keeps going and bumps into rogdona who finds amusement in his wild eyes and lack of composure, and decides to help him out.

Both of them want more time, and elias can get it, of course! but it doesnt come from nowhere, he has to take it from someone. So they strike a deal, rogdona will lead him to lost people in the forest and elias will take their time for both to share

But thats terrible! Ullula would never approve of him taking a life...but. but. But! If they were lost in the forest and going to die anyways, surely she'll understand? After all, death by his knife will be far kinder that whatever fate awaits them should a creature find them, they love playing with their food

So there it goes, now that he has all the time in the world he keeps taking care of the church w a little extra help in the form of a sphinx-like creature

#oc tag #it got longgggg... but i got excited 😊😆 i love talking ab my ocs tysm for asking!!#ask #oc elias #oc ullula #oc.rogdona

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markets · 6 months

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hi markets how is life going for u bc basically the guy who was my best friend for years well we stopped talkign last spring completely bc long story short he was Very in love with me and i could not get myself to feel the same even though i TRIED girl i genuinely tried sohard but that just ended up with him feelinbg led on and hurt and asked to never speak to me again hahalol well yeah he just texted me out of the blue bc he got a leaked frank ocean song and sent it me. because he knows i love frank ocean and knew i wouldg love it and whAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH THAT DOESNT HE REALIZE THAT NOW THIS SONG WILL BE FOREVER ATTACHED TO THE FEELING OF GUILT AND HEARTBREAK AND ILL NEVER BE NORMAL ABOUT A SONG THAT WILL PROBABLY NEVER BE RELEASED AND WILL ONLY EVER EXIST AS AN ATTACHMENT IN OUR MESSAGES????? anyway yeah. the song wasgood

ANON. anon listen to me because i literally had this exaxt same situation with my (now ex) best friend SINCE MIDDLE SCHOOL almost two years ago. i also tried and i also accidentally led on and hurt them and they didnt ask me to never speak to them again and actually jsut ignored me all summer instead and likely got all our shared friends (aka most of my friends lol) to do the same so i just didnt bother trying to reconnect once school started again. im also currently on the other end of this kind of as the best friend who took that old best friends place (though we probably wouldve ended up becoming best friends even without that whole mess i hope) broke up with me after a few very good months of dating and a few very bad ones and i asked him not to speak to me for a while but then decided to reconnect with (which judging by the fact that im active on tumblr could be going better).

so yeah now that ive given you my credentials heres what you do you thank him if you havent already and tell him you hope hes doing well and then you put your phone down and go on a walk far far away from it and think about the whole thing. that isnt the best advice because there realyl is no good advice for this situation its one of those things that tears you apart and then points at you and says haha oh YOURE torn apart you say wow what a selfish asshole haha!! but honestly its so clear to me just from this one ask that you care about him so much and im sure he can see that too. if hes texting you he can at least see it a little, and if you would like to do so im sure your friendship is salvagable. the person who put me as the heartbreak emoji in their "people i had feelings for this year" tik tok last december invited me to their house last month and we laughed and joked even though last time i had been there i had been pretending to feel something i could only wish i truly felt. and i dont think theirs an effort more admirable and beautiful than trying to save something like that, than looking the world straight in the eyes and saying "you want me to leave this for dead but i wont because i CARE and that means something." i mean if he wants too of course. which if he sent the text he might thats kind of how i wnet about it when i tried to reconnect too. maybe take this with a grain of salt because im in a highly emotional time in my life but all im going to say is im sorry anon. i know how awful it is to lose a best friend. and im hoping everything goes well for both of you

#angieanswers.txt

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tiramisiyu · 2 years

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im interested to know what your thoughts are on the second anniversary card. for me… idk, i felt really depressed after reading it (even with the spicy scene), like i thought it was so well done with the conflict about why luke didnt want to propose to her, and handling the death of his parents, but then to suddenly go from that level of selflessness and denying his own happiness to a proposal felt so jarring. i know in the date that rosa says one conversation won’t change how luke thinks but even so the proposal felt so forced and different to how luke has been shown in other dates and idk to me i really think it needed to be longer OR two different dates. to me the way he proposed just felt so… rushed. im not here to bash on the date because i genuinely really liked it (and it was so interesting to see the parallels between how the two viewed their future and relationship!! + more about lukes illness and parents is a plus!) but i think i just feel super sad after reading it. maybe that’s the real reason why we got so many fluffy dates that ignored lukes illness LMAO. but ya thanks for reading my thoughts and id love to know what you think!!

putting in another person's ask here too:

firstly, it really warms my heart that yall are still interested in hearing my opinion even though i've taken a step back from the active participation i used to have! i'll organize my thoughts below (it's been like a week since i've read it so things are a bit murkier now... kazuha and heizou were taking up all of my braincells during this week, sorry)

I should probably preface this by saying that emotionally, I don't have much to say; last year I was overwhelmed with emotion, sobbing, the works, but this year my feelings have kinda shifted to "aww good for you XY!" and "man, we're doing this dance again, of depressed XY not doing things bc he's concerned about MC's long term happiness and MC gradually convincing him to just do what would make him happy" (I mean, not that it's a bad thing; it's not easy to get out of old mindsets).

It definitely was depressing overall, so it makes sense that anon #1 feels that way. The sad mood didn't really lift until the end when the proposal happened. And I kinda feel what you both mean by it being rushed - I was expecting them to wait a few more days after the cemetery conversation, so when XY actually proposed I was kinda blindsided LOL. Like it literally went like this:

MC: [talks about how she's willing to be with him until the end as they walk back from the cemetery; at this point in time he was still not willing to propose bc of his illness and whatnot]

XY: [suddenly drags MC back to his place, sprinting, not saying a word]

MC: ?? ok then

XY: [reappears and proposes]

All this happens in like, idk, 30 minutes?? Yeah, definitely felt rushed to me. I think the issue lies in how we KNOW that XY knows that MC would think in this way, but it's not really explained at all why this particular conversation - and nothing else beforehand - incited such a massive change in heart in him. Unless if he really did need to just hear the words and was subconsciously just waiting for her to say so? But that doesn't quite fit with his selfless personality that's very explicitly described in this particular date.

I think they may have intentionally been trying to mirror the circumstances in the 1st anniv date, which might explain how quickly he was able to change his mind and be convinced by MC within the time limits of the date. But if that’s the case, I think that works better for confession than proposal, since marriage shouldn’t be something you jump into just bc you were feeling in the mood to propose right then...

The proposal content itself, ofc, was great. Very nice speech, 10/10; Themis writers know what a girl wants. It was also nice to hear a little bit about XY's mom although it wasn't the plot-relevant stuff I wanted 😭😭 I wanna know if they were intentionally killed and what their professions were, that sort of thing;; There's also no info on whether they're making progress in maybe curing XY and time's running a little short, so I wonder if/how this will be resolved.

(actually i don't really recall where he said that his sickness wasn't 100% the reason why he was proposing so feel free to remind me 😭) lmk if there were any other specific things you wanted my thoughts on!

#ask #im sorry it took so long to respond to these

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