#is this the common experience?

[vampirejuno]

Do you ever become mutuals with someone you share an intense interest with and it becomes this limbo of "I want to be your friend SO fucking bad but I'll eat a shoe before dm-ing first"

#i know this is probably a fairly common experience but rn i am very much feeling like the normalest guy in the world

[rice-enjoyer]

#felt like i needed to make this after some interactions today #i did this with burning text generator! #my overall tumblr experience has been amazing after 6 months of radio silence #this is directed at everyone who's mutuals with me. even if we are not in the same fandoms anymore or have anything in common #i still love you and get happy when i see you post/ramble about topics that are interesting to you #just fyi if we are mutuals i actively think about you with your pfp and username in mind at least once a day #<<< past rice being based with this tag #mutual appreciation #:-)

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

anyone else have multiple traumatic memories associated specifically with holidays/family vacations? because that is a topic I never see discussed in all the So You Had A Shitty Childhood, Now What? self-help books i've been reading. but for me, it was a significant thing. and the more i think about it the more it seems like this would be an (unfortunately) common experience. would be grateful to hear if this matches other peoples' experiences...

#not a shitpost #serious post #ask to tag #tw trauma #cptsd #c-ptsd #and if so we should TALK about it #because it means there are a whole group of survivors out there whose mental health regularly worsens during holidays #like i know i am most certainly not the only person who feels an undefined Dread hanging over christmas/my birthday/july 4 etc #bc too many shitty things happened during those times and now my brain is hypervigilant bc traditionally these are the Danger Times #and this seems like it would be particularly common for survivors of abusive/dysfunctional households (aka most people with c-ptsd) #because holidays/vacations typically mean 1) the whole family is together/being forced to interact #2) and undergoing external stressors e.g. travel/relatives aka 'outsiders' visiting/routines & coping mechanisms being interrupted etc #3) there is social pressure for this to be a Fun Family Bonding Experience which only highlights the cracks in the foundation #and exposes the common Everything Is Fine/We Are A Happy Family lie #4) the cognitive dissonance of feeling tired/anxious/stressed/afraid during a time when you are 'supposed' to be Making Good Memories #and then everyone is angry/tired/anxious/triggered and things boil over and something or someone goes Very Wrong #weird that i'm posting this in october when halloween is...sort of the ONLY holiday i have only good and happy feelings towards #i got lucky there #also i have positive feelings towards Labor Day but that's for socialist reasons

[bulldagger-bait]

I've always been curious to know this about the people around me. Most people have been in severe pain, but in my experience few have had what they would say is their 10/10 experience. I guess it's just something I find fascinating, as I had my 10/10 experience quite young and I sometimes forget that not everyone has. In my opinion it changes your relationship with pain and how you engage with it afterwards. If you answered yes, feel free to elaborate on your circumstances in the tags!

(reblog for a bigger sample size etc)

#I was 13 and mine was after spinal fusion surgery for scoliosis. T6-L4 fusion and when i woke up in spinal shock it was agonising pain #they had to give me ketamine before the pain died down and even then it was only 9/10 #i was on a fentanyl drip for a few days afterwards and ever 5mins and 50sec id be dosing myself #my dad would take over my button while i was sleeping and set a timer on his watch to push it at those intervals #it was the only way i could rest as without it id wake up in blinding pain #definitely the hardest experience of my life. sometimes i forget that i went through that and came out the other side. #polls #chronic pain #disability #spoonie #cripple punk #cripplepunk #the tags ive chosen kinda skew the balance in favour of the yes but idk what else to tag it with. #it would be interesting to see if other disabled people have also had a 10/10 and how common that is

[qwakque]

checkin out some christmas lights!!! probably from other dorms and such

long time no draaaaw

#theowing this out there b4 im confined to a car for 6 hrs (road trip) #BUT ARGHRGGG #ik kalims best friend is his carpet but. what if he realizes that so many pol like the pop music club do care for him aswl #boom #probably a common idea tho #experimenting w some stuff too like lines on kalim!!! #bow scarves beloved #kinda messy but i got the idea out there so wooooooooooo!!!!! #maybe ill have the patience to work on pieces a little longer someday orz #twisted wonderland #twst #disney twisted wonderland #disney twst #kalim al asim #twst fanart #twst kalim #twisted wonderland fanart #twst pop music club #pop music club #twst lilia #lillia vanrouge #twst cater #twst cater diamond #maybe ill draw more in the car.. #all of the designs from other ppl + vkei ive been meaning to get to #and ill try to get some rqs done I SWEAR IM NOT IGNORING YGS IVE BEEN SWAMPED LATELY AUGEHDG

[kkoct-ik]

finally scratching the skill cabinet itch

#kostik draws #harry du bois #harrier du bois #fanart #disco elysium #disco elysium fanart #i can tell im gonna hate this in an hour but fuck you #im still glad im experimenting with style and colour. even if i have an ugly period (normal grip) #the duality between this and what i drew earlier today is staggering #anyway. money to anyone who can find all the skills (i abstracted some of them so its probably not possible) #there are 11 with some room for ambiguity because some of them have common motifs #have fun #i really like them! really really!! hes just like me... #update hour+ later: i dont hate it! wao...

[aromanticduck]

Being aromantic is like knowing most of your friends will one day move to Paris, but you don't want to live in Paris. And if you ever get sad about how much you're going to miss them when they go, people just try and tell you that you too can find a place in Paris! As if the problem is not having a house yet or being unable to sort out your transport, rather than not wanting to live there at all.

#aromantic #aro #aro thoughts #aro things #i know not all aros are nonpartnering and not all aros have friends #this post is meant to describe a common experience not a universal one #organic home grown content #100 tier #1000 tier

[beesinspades]

shoutout to the aces who didn't always know or wonder what everyone's deal over sex was. shoutout to the aces who were horny teenagers who couldn't differentiate between their libido and sexual attraction. shoutout to the aces who only realized they were ace much later, perhaps after sexual experiences they regretted and couldn't understand why something they were so curious about felt so wrong. shoutout to the aces who made peace with these experiences and are now open to try again. shoutout to those who didn't and/or aren't. we're all valid as hell

#asexuality #asexual #is this post for me because I always feel like a fake because my experience isn't one of the most common ones? maybe #bee talks

[nothorses]

hot take but I think the "we're only talking about people who identify as queer when we talk about the queer community" thing was and is one of the worst arguments in defense of the word.

I am talking about you when I say "the queer community", and "queer people", and "queer studies". I'm describing a thing that a large group of people have in common, and you share that thing in common. Your individual comfort with the word doesn't change the definition of it.

I'm sorry you don't like that word. You don't ever have to call yourself that, and you don't have to like it, and I won't ever call you that if you don't want me to.

What I am going to do, however, is decide what language I use based on A) how inclusive it is, and B) how well it communicates my point to the relevant audience.

"Inclusive" here is an important criteria; this refers to the number of people who should be included, that are included, ideally without some kind of weird hierarchy (like we see in "LGBT+" and variations). The technical definition is what we're talking about here- putting personal comfort aside, could the word "queer" describe you?

There will always be someone who doesn't like a particular word for themselves- even if it could apply. Lots of people don't like "LGBT+" (I don't really), even if it technically applies to them. You're not more important than they are.

You can identify one way on a personal level, and still understand that when we're discussing the larger community of people and the histories attached to it, you're included in that- even if you don't personally identify with the specific word we're using. Your story, your voice, and your presence matters.

Y'all need to learn to distinguish "broad term for an experience I share with others" from "personal identity label I use to describe my individual experience to others". ASAP.

#queer #also because i can hear the terfs in my head: #'woman' does not include trans men because trans men are not women #functionally and fundamentally it's not the same gender experience #and the word refers to a personal gender identity #'queer' describes a common experience of being rejected from a particular group

[redysetdare]

I think i just need to express that the culture surrounding QPRs right now made me think that i couldn't have strong bonds with my friends. Society told me i cant have strong bonds with friends because that was only for romantic relationships. Then i went into aro spaces and this idea was reinforced using QPRs instead of romantic relationships. it was "You can still have strong bonds with people without romance! It can just be a QPR instead!" "QPRs are MORE than friendship so you can have STRONGER BONDS than you would with friends."

it made me think that the relationships i wanted with my friends HAD to be something other than friendship for it to be as strong as i wanted. If i wanted to be the first person in someones life i had to enter some sort of committed relationship. if I wanted someone to care about me as strongly as i did them then it would have to be a relationship that was "more" than friendship.

I thought I wanted a QPR because i was told the only way to get that care and security that I wanted was to enter into a relationship that was "more" than friendship. because friends didn't care that much. because friends didn't live together their entire lives. because friends were never the priority relationship wise. and it took me years to realize that i didn't want any partnership and i shouldn't have to be in one to want these things from a friend. these things CAN be something friends can do. but i found that out on my own. because the aro community kept saying "you want a QPR" when i just wanted a friend who finally saw me as a priority in their life.

#text #personal #aro #aromantic #aroace #aspec #qpr #queerplatonic relationships #queer platonic relationships #tbh i was around when qprs were still getting footing. ppl werent sure how to properly label them #so to avoid allos saying it's just friends the common response was 'its more than friends but less than romance' #as if they were trying to justify it's existence as if we had to have a equivalent to romance to be justified in our identities and as ppl #because being aro made you not be a person. because how can you be a person if you dont love or have a partner #because being aro was sad because being aro meant ou were alone and you shouldn't want to be alone!! #and these ideas made it so that amatonormativity was just reinforced in aro spaces #and it isn't until recent years when amatonormativity started getting used top put a name to the problem #that i really saw ppl start standing up for aros who didnt partner because why are we expected to partner anyways? #shouldnt ppl be whole as they are? #and this is only my experience im not saying this happens everywhere #but this is why i think we need to have a conversation about QPRs and how they are used in aro spaces #because im not the only one who struggled through this #my experience may not be universal but my experience has happened to others #and thats worth talking about #srry im having a lot of thoughts recently

[mister-writes]

Hey writeblr I have a question!

So I often see posts in the same vein as this one here:

Things along the lines of "oh my characters are always changing the story, they're the ones that are really in charge."

#writeblr #writers of tumblr #..... i feel like you can tell by the fact that i'm asking this question #that this is something i find really funny but it's not something i... relate to? #so i'm just really curious how common of an experience this is #i'm excited to see! #polls #writeblr poll #writing

[seenfull]

If you keep drawing ronnie bigger I wonder how big he’s gonna end up??? 👀👀👀👀 what’s the fattest you’d be comfortable drawing him?

Nothing drastic, for now >:)

#ask #anon #idk if it's a common experience for artists who draw characters they see themselves in but #I used to get extremely embarrassed drawing ronnie #especially as fat as I actually wanted him to be #I remember drawing the curve of his belly the first times felt illegal 😭😭 like I had to take breaksss #Never held back with my girl characters tho #The size he's at now fits him better #He's not just lazy now- his gut is actually pinning him down this time >:) #p.s. thank you for sticking around even if I'm not as active as before

[weaver-z]

Wait, I need to know how universal this experience is or if I just lived in a hotspot for this kind of thing.

#it's insane what a common experience this was in my school system BUT i have no idea how common it really was #constant ukelele jumpscares #if i ever have to hear a ukelele cover of ''house of gold'' by twenty one pilots again i'll kill someone

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

i wanna know more about svsss menopause

They synced their periods together too well. Now they are synced through their perimenopause years.

#Poorly drawn svsss #svsss #shen qingqiu #luo binghe #shang qinghua #mobei jun #ask #I truly think that the peak of the SVSSS (peri)menopause era is just them commiserating over the experience of it. #Not pictured here is Liu Qingge barely suppressing his hormonal rage. He would have it *bad*. #I think Liu Mingyan is the only person who does not have a bad time with menopause because she takes estrogen supplements. #Which sounds like a trans headcanon but I think regardless of cis/trans status she's researched this and is prepared. #I have developed a sense for what menopause is purely by exposure to the various complaints I have overheard/been told. #These are all very specific and yet very common stories. #I do not know what the overlap is for SVSSS fans and people (not just women) going through menopause. I hope this is funny to SOMEONE. #It's an untapped market of potential! Too many young'uns in these woods. #Synced periods this. Ovulating that. Where's the menopausal homicidal rage? #Come on! Ripping off your clothing in a sudden burst of heat is *SO* SVSSS core!!! Make perimenopause sexy!!! #Anyways. Please put your menopause headcanons in the comments/tags <3 I'd love to hear them. #Thank you joblessmonday for following up with an ask and giving me an excuse to release this train of thought.

[my-autism-adhd-blog]

7 Lesser Commonly Known Autistic Traits/Experiences

Neurodivergent_lou

#autism #actually autistic #7 less common traits/experiences #safe foods #interoception #emotional dysregulation #gi issues #crashing out #different voices #neurodivergence #neurodiversity #actually neurodivergent #feel free to reblog #neurodivergent_lou (Facebook)

[pearlsdiamondsandvodka]

the sandra lynn / fig conversation is driving me Insane. fig saying that sometimes she doesn’t wanna exist as herself at all…not wanting to ask her friends how they see her (because she’s afraid to hear their response) saying that to someone she is a monster and she Cannot stop thinking about it. sandra lynn starting the conversation saying she needs to step up but is also simultaneously taken aback about what fig expresses and doesn’t know how to responds to it and suggests getting ice cream. sandra lynn saying “convincing people they deserve good things is really tough” talking about herself but how it also reflects fig. insane!!

#if that conversation had kept going I would have started bawling!! #fully believe brennan was like ‘well oh shit this is getting dark and heavy quick let’s uh get some snow cones’ #I will say I think Emily does a beautiful job here of showing teenage life #not a universal experience perhaps but definitely a common one #feeling so lost and insecure in who you are and under so much pressure to be a certain way #and her saying she doesn’t wanna exist #vs me resonating with ‘I don’t wanna die sometimes I wish I’d never been born at all’ lyrics #it was hard to watch ngl but it’s also bc Emily does Such a good job w emotional scenes!! #that woman is so emotionally invested you get emotional invested as well #if Emily axford cries I cry with her #and loved to see more of Sandra Lynn again <3 #damn good scene #dimension 20 #fantasy high #fantasy high spoilers #fantasy high junior year #fig faeth #sandra lynn faeth #emily axford #brennan lee mulligan