#crashing out

[my-autism-adhd-blog]

7 Lesser Commonly Known Autistic Traits/Experiences

Neurodivergent_lou

#autism #actually autistic #7 less common traits/experiences #safe foods #interoception #emotional dysregulation #gi issues #crashing out #different voices #neurodivergence #neurodiversity #actually neurodivergent #feel free to reblog #neurodivergent_lou (Facebook)

[j4mboree]

my queen...

#BLOBERTA OMLLLLLL #banging on the walls of my enclosure #crashing out #bloberta puppington #bloberta hymentact #moral orel #moral orel fanart #bloberta fanart #moral orel bloberta #morel orel bloberta fanart #shes fun to draw like this #my art x3

[littleprincessfawn]

Okay despite my brain going a mile a minute I'm gonna talk to myself here and use Tumblr as my executive function boardroom meeting to take proper care of my ill ADHD self.

(looooong test post under cut. Likely boring but maybe useful to other people struggling with functioning and self care?)

I'm recovering from a tummy bug, nausea, diarrhea. Today I took all my meds at the one time, including my ADHD meds at full dosage, despite that I've been skipping them a bit lately. This has caused me to feel like maybe hypomanic, side effects too much meds, thoughts rushing, wrote too much to people. Ruining friendships with my social awkwardness of oversharing and being 'too much'. The ADHD meds are wearing off now. I am home alone. Today I have eaten rice crackers. I have had 600ml water. It's 5pm. I had 3 or 4 hours sleep last night because I was so ill. I am dirty and haven't had a bath or shower or brushed my teeth for 2 days. My house is messy in some places, the kitchen isn't so bad, and neither is my TV nook. I have a kitty to feed and look after.

Things I must do:

Feed kitty breakfast and dinner

Scoop kitty litter once per day

Put on dishwasher once per day and put away clean dry dishes

Sort out the laundry situation because right now it's insane. I have clean clothes and linens but they are in random piles around the house.

Take out rubbish to rubbish bins (maybe once per day as my house is messy and if I clean I will find rubbish)

Drink 3L of water each day

Eat healthy nutrition each day, spaced out regular meals, avoid spikes in blood sugar

Sleep!! Get sleep. Make a bed that is cosy, comfy, clean.

Shower or bath once per day

Brush teeth morning and night, or just night if struggling

Skin care morning and night, or just night if struggling

Comb my hair and wear it in 2 comfy cute braids

Spend more time on tumblr and being introverted and thoughtful, less time messaging people until my hypomanic symptoms have eased and I'm in control of myself

Figure out when to take which meds and at what dosage

Always take my leukemia medicine dasatinib at 12pm.

Do things that help me feel balanced and grounded

Slowly do things that will make my situation better e.g. tidying, throwing out junk, working through emails, making appointment phone calls, life admin stuff

Stay safe, don't do risky or harmful behaviours.

Make one room my dedicated SAFE SPACE. Make and keep it: clean, cosy, tidy, neat, spartan, minimalist, white sheets, soft lighting, good air flow, beautiful, relaxing, healing, comfortable, sensory good, suiting my needs. The rest of the house can be messy but if I have ONE room that is good I have a place to retreat to.

Choices for my safe room: my bedroom, my son's bedroom (he's at his dad's), my computer room, my TV nook.

My bedroom has a lot to deal with in it, but has the best mattress. I don't think I can fix my bedroom tonight.

My son's room is tidyish, wouldn't take long to fix up. His mattress isn't as good for my back. I sometimes like being in my son's room because it reminds me of him when he's away BUT I also ideally want that space to be just for him, with his things.

The computer room has the air conditioner which is nice for cooling but very loud. It has no mattress. It's a bit messy. I'd need to move furniture. It's not doable for tonight.

(Break to feed cat dinner, it's 6:17pm. Also cleaned and refilled his water.)

The dining room / library is insane. I wasn't planning on sleeping here. I just wanted to note that. Absolute chaos.

The TV nook is a small room with a couch and a single bed in it and the TV and a coffee table. I find the single bed mattress uncomfortable to sleep on. I find the couch comfy to sleep on. It's pretty easy to tidy up.

So my options are either my son's room or the TV nook, and there's a possibility of dragging my mattress from my room into either room if I can make it fit.

I am feeling very very dizzy and ill. I'll lie down now, then get water. Then I will probably need food. Protein, Complex Carbs, Veggies. Some brown rice is in the fridge. So is some tofu that I marinated I think it's still good? I might have some frozen green beans or carrots or something easy like that for veggies. I also have legumes like lentils, kidney beans, chickpeas. There's probably meat in the freezer but I don't think I can do that. I have eggs I think.

Okay, despite dizzy, now go get food and water. Then come back, eat on couch, while reading or TV, lie down, maybe sleep.

Plan more plans later.

For right now, get through the next hours. Give my body what it needs. Water. Food. Sleep. Hygiene. Maybe in that order or maybe after food and water I can do hygiene first.

Okay I have now eaten food and drank water. I think next need truly is sleep. My heart feels weird. But sometimes when I'm this level of messed up im afraid to fall asleep. I'm afraid that I won't wake up again. I'm afraid of that unknown darkness, of what waits for me behind my eyelids. But my body can do no more. I will clean my face with water and a washcloth. I will brush my teeth. I will put on my night cream. I will make the couch sleepable.

Now I have done all those. I've put a gentle lamp on. A fan blowing air. I will try and allow my body and mind to rest. I will curl up on my side and settle my racing heart. I am so nauseous and dizzy and sore and scared.

I must find my calm. And hold it close.

I wish I had someone to hold me. But I'm proud of myself for taking care of myself. It's a skill I need to master. Before I can find a Master.

#adhd #chronic illness #hypomania #drug interactions #person #executive dysfunction #dysfunctional gal #will add more tags later #crashing out

[moncuries]

matters of state

#of note: how hard is it tot ell that this pond and turtleduck situation was borne out of frustration w the pose #not hard at all #furthermore: zuko with ursa style hair #who looks more in love u decide #zukka #sokka #zuko #atla #my art #fanart #passing bills such as: ur sooo good at ur job sokka hahaha want to ki #i gave both of them tattoos but then csp crashed #sorry

[ms-demeanor]

Sleep thing part two: What time is it a *disaster* for you to get to bed? You may be able to get through the day but it's going to hurt. Like. This isn't a "I'm so sleep deprived that I need to call off of work because it's not safe for me to do my job" thing, it's a "I am going to feel like shit all day and I'm going to crash hard when I'll get home but I'll be able to hang" thing.

#after six means I'm getting less than three hours sleep before work #and is going to mean that i'm wiped out and will crash early the next night

[leverage-ot3]

#biblically accurate eliot spencer #eliot spencer #leverage #leverage redemption #humor #memes #eliot spencer memes #mine #guys guys GUYS #I JUST FIGURED OUT THAT YOU CAN MAKE SPEECH BUBBLES DIRECTLY ONTO THE PHOTOS APP #I WILL BE UNSTOPPABLE NOW #NO MORE PHOTOSHOP MIX APP CRASHING EVERY TWO MINUTES I FEEL BLESSED #movelikekeithrichards #this isn’t even a queue post. I got so excited I had to post it immediately

[inkskinned]

so one of the things that's so horrifying about birth control is that you have to, like, navigate this incredibly personal choice about your body and yet also face the epitome of misogyny. like, someone in the comments will say it wasn't that bad for me, and you'll be utterly silenced. like, everyone treats birth control like something that's super dirty. like, you have no fucking information or control over this thing because certain powerful people find it icky.

first it was the oral contraceptives. you went on those young, mostly for reasons unrelated to birth control - even your dermatologist suggested them to control your acne. the list of side effects was longer than your arm, and you just stared at it, horrified.

it made you so mentally ill, but you just heard that this was adulthood. that, yes, there are of course side effects, what did you expect. one day you looked up yasmin makes me depressed because surely this was far too intense, and you discovered that over 12,000 lawsuits had been successfully filed against the brand. it remains commonly prescribed on the open market. you switched brands a few times before oral contraceptives stopped being in any way effective. your doctor just, like, shrugged and said you could try a different brand again.

and the thing is that you're a feminist. you know from your own experience that birth control can be lifesaving, and that even when used for birth control - it is necessary healthcare. you have seen it save so many people from such bad situations, yourself included. it is critical that any person has access to birth control, and you would never suggest that we just get rid of all of it.

you were a little skeeved out by the implant (heard too many bad stories about it) and figured - okay, iud. it was some of the worst pain you've ever fucking experienced, and you did it with a small number of tylenol in your system (3), like you were getting your bikini line waxed instead of something practically sewn into your body.

and what's wild is that because sometimes it isn't a painful insertion process, it is vanishingly rare to find a doctor that will actually numb the area. while your doctor was talking to you about which brand to choose, you were thinking about the other ways you've been injured in your life. you thought about how you had a suspicious mole frozen off - something so small and easy - and how they'd numbed a huge area. you thought about when you broke your wrist and didn't actually notice, because you'd thought it was a sprain.

your understanding of pain is that how the human body responds to injury doesn't always relate to the actual pain tolerance of the person - it's more about how lucky that person is physically. maybe they broke it in a perfect way. maybe they happened to get hurt in a place without a lot of nerve endings. some people can handle a broken femur but crumble under a sore tooth. there's no true way to predict how "much" something actually hurts.

in no other situation would it be appropriate for doctors to ignore pain. just because someone can break their wrist and not feel it doesn't mean no one should receive pain meds for a broken wrist. it just means that particular person was lucky about it. it should not define treatment.

in the comments of videos about IUDs, literally thousands of people report agony. blinding, nauseating, soul-crushing agony. they say things like i had 2 kids and this was the worst thing i ever experienced or i literally have a tattoo on my ribs and it felt like a tickle. this thing almost killed me or would rather run into traffic than ever feel that again.

so it's either true that every single person who reports severe pain is exaggerating. or it's true that it's far more likely you will experience pain, rather than "just a pinch." and yet - there's nothing fucking been done about it. it kind of feels like a shrug is layered on top of everything - since technically it's elective, isn't it kind of your fault for agreeing to select it? stop being fearmongering. stop being defensive.

you fucking needed yours. you are almost weirdly protective of it. yours was so important for your physical and mental health. it helped you off hormonal birth control and even started helping some of your symptoms. it still fucking hurt for no fucking reason.

once while recovering from surgery, they offered you like 15 days of vicodin. you only took 2 of them. you've been offered oxy for tonsillitis. you turned down opioids while recovering from your wisdom tooth extraction. everything else has the option. you fucking drove yourself home after it, shocked and quietly weeping, feeling like something very bad had just happened. the nurse that held your hand during the experience looked down at you, tears in her eyes, and said - i know. this is cruelty in action.

and it's fucked up because the conversation is never just "hey, so the way we are doing this is fucking barbaric and doctors should be required to offer serious pain meds" - it's usually something around the lines of "well, it didn't kill you, did it?"

you just found out that removing that little bitch will hurt just as bad. a little pinch like how oral contraceptives have "some" serious symptoms. like your life and pain are expendable or not really important. like maybe we are all hysterical about it?

hysteria comes from the latin word for uterus, which is great!

you stand here at a crossroads. like - this thing is so important. did they really have to make it so fucking dangerous. and why is it that if you make a complaint, you're told - i didn't even want you to have this in the first place. we're told be careful what you wish for. we're told that it's our fault for wanting something so illict; we could simply choose not to need medication. that maybe if we don't like the scraps, we should get ready to starve.

we have been saying for so long - "i'm not asking you to remove the option, i'm asking you to reconsider the risk." this entire time we hear: well, this is what you wanted, isn't it?

#where's the word woman in this u might wonder if u suck #good news i am nonbinary and have a uterus so that is something that can happen #im also gender fluid tho which means im immune to certain psychic damage bc if u call me a woman i'll be like <3 okay <3 #writeblr #the tightrope of ''ppl need access to this'' #and like also #''what the fuck is going on over there'' is like. so difficult as an activist #i was <3 punctured <3 during mine #and almost bled out on the table :) they didn't have anyone standing by bc it's ''just a little insertion'' #so i started crashing and i vaguely remember apologizing for the fuss as i heard my heart rate monitor start going <3 tachycardic <3 #she wasn't even a bad doctor tbh #ps btw the reason i even HAD a heart monitor is that i have a genuine heart condition and they knew GOING IN that there was a chance #i'd crash on the table #like my heart just likes to do fun little tricks and <3 stop working <3 (i do not want to discuss the specifics ty i am okay im ontop of it #and they were like 'oh u will be fine' and then she did do a puncture thru my uterus . pop! #and im sitting there dizzy and feeling my heartrate start to drop bc it feels almost. beautiful. like. the whole ground just #woosh! out from under you. and shit is like grey's anatomy. i'm looking up at her grey eyes #she's old she wears this nice shawl she's like got Cool Lesbian vibes and people are sprinting into the room #from other parts of the clinic unrelated to me. while the monitor is like a little aria singing #and shes like hey youre okay stay awake stay with me something went wrong we have to keep trying #and i remember thinking - i was trying to think of nice things. i have so many beautiful places that now overlap #with this terrible memory #i became dimly aware that there was too much on her wrists and hands. like #that was too many liters #and then when they had finished all this. i packed up and drove myself home #i have had (bad thing) happen to me. and the same feeling happened after #that numb almost lamblike bleating. you cry without noise. like. ur body is so shocked and ur mind so empty #you just stare at the road and everything everything is happening behind glass and static and you are standing so far away from it #while you hold ur hands at 10 and 2. and something in ur brain is SCREAMING at you - IT WAS BAD AND IT SHOULDNT HAVE HAPPENED #and ur just watching the alarms in your body going off and youre thinking. a little pinch! ha. i think i just lost something important.

[critai]

4321

#kagerou project #kagepro #mary kozakura #kano shuuya #kido tsubomi #seto kousuke #my art #critai mine #WAUGHHDH !!!!!!! #happy 15th from the jst timezone #IM NOT DONE YET I SITLL HAVE 2 DRAW AYANO #bro this file crashed sm times AUGHDHH #edit: WAGH I FOUND OUT THIS WENT ON THE RADAR WTF #i remember when i first posted this i didnt have time to explain the comp process for this 1 and not that it was anything big just #felt like i had to explain kano's framing bc it does look wonky #p much that it's actually the outline of the yobanashi graffiti title in his mv :-) !!! #not sum fucked up hole lol #everything else i think it's p self explanatory www was abt to do mekakushi code for kido but i felt like shissou word highlighted her #character more so i went w that..!!! #and originally i was to draw mary as a separate piece and have the meka trio in another but i didnt have time... #which is fine bc sidu did the same thing in their art book also LMAO #mary's og concept was also the curtain idea but behind her would've ben her mom + maybe seto (imagination forest stuff) #thank u for the nice tags :"-DDD

[ruporas]

🎆 (id in alt)

#trigun #trigun stampede #roberto de niro #meryl stryfe #nicholas d wolfwood #vash the stampede #happy new years everybodyyyy yippee! these kimonos are really cute…(crash sfx) #i liked looking at the details and doing my Best not to stress over the details of it while drawing lmfao #also does anyone know the pattern for wolfwood’s haori.. it looked like the bird feathers one so that’s the one i wound up using #the significance also made sense to me alongside the chidori obi. he is so 🐥🐥😢 #and if anyone wonders for the fedora i am a full fledge believer of knives fedora arc #i was going to drawn a little knives too but he looked so goofy with the fedora adjdndj I couldv taken it the fedora out all together but #it felt Vital. though now he will just sit peacefully in my 8100 wips

[purrvaire]

I'm having a moment

#good omens season two #im *dkdhskjsksksk * [crash][explosion] wooo weeee [sirens] good lord #just put me in the fridge and let me out when the season comes out #IM PACING BACK AND FORTH LIKE A MADMAN #i can't express how much i LOVE this story and these characters and what they mean to me #im meming to cope honestly im giggling and rolling in my bed because i CAN'T EVEN #I'M UNABLE TO EVEN #aziracrow #ineffable husbands #my dads (real) #good omens #user purrvaire

[samwwise]

mum said it's my turn to do the good omens + text posts meme pt.2 (pt.1)

#good omens #goodomensedit #goodomensgifs #yeah some of these have probably been done before at this point. apologies #photoshop crashed but once not twice but three times while making this so peace out!!! #special shoutout to MY beloved @andthetardis for being the brains of this operation #usercaptainflint #rainbowcrowley #usereena #usermullet #myedits #gif #tpmeme

[snailsnaps]

y/ns tryna rizz up the DJ

#HEY HEY DOWN HERE! #This is TECHNICALLY a teaser trailer for a fanfic ive been working on for some months #stay tuned for Pulse Protocols #out on Ao3 soon...ish #fnaf #fnaf sb #fnaf security breach #fnaf dj music man #fnaf djmm #dj music man #djmm #djmm x reader #snailsnaps #Tahoma2d crashed a total of 16 times while making this

[buggachat]

Part 131 of my bakery “enemies” au!

fun fact! I was going to add another panel to the beginning of this part, but my computer kept crashing. so um. pretend something like this is there:

First / Prev / Next / All

Kofi

#ml #miraculous ladybug #miraculous #marinette dupain cheng #marinette dupain-cheng #nino lahiffe #alya cesaire #djwifi #my art #bakery enemies au #im gonna go a day or two without plugging in my tablet to try to see if it's the culprit of the crashes. i dunno #for the record: you can still expect daily uploads. the next ~5 parts are complete as a buffer #and my comic is completely backed up so whatever #but idk why my computer (that literally just got out of an intensive repair where literally every part of it was replaced) is being bitch<3

[theblacktiecacti]

FROMTHE TOP ROPE MY PRINCE

#audios you can hear without the audio #i just got procreate dreams and i wanted to test it out real quick #perfect scene to do that with #jrwi the suckening #art by me #jrwi grefgor #shilo bathroy #arthur bennett #deacon keller #overall rating of dreams is eH. it crashed a fair amount and i miss the lasso tool so bad. but i liked being able to draw outside the frame

[cultreslut]

a dedication written on the inside of the front cover of my copy of crash by jg ballard

[TRANSCRIPT: Susan - I'm going to miss working along side you. Let's keep in touch. I hope you enjoy this book. You always like the weird shit! - Issac]

#crash #crash 1996 #crash 1973 #books #the book has a dog ear sometime in chapter six and ended up in the hands of goodwill so . i guess we know how that turned out #cultreslut

[buggbuzz]

THERE IS NO WAY WE GOT INEFFABLE BUREAUCRACY THAT EASY AND THEN—AND THEN THEY JUST

OH MY GOD OH MY GOD IM NEVER GOING TO FUCKING RECOVER

#AMAZON BETTER FOLLOW UP ON FUCKING SEASON 3 OR I AM ENDING IT ALL BRO #imma be real i never saw the vision for ineffable bureaucracy but i thought it was funny #never thought it'd actually HAPPEN #ESPECIALLY NEVER THOUGHT IT'D HAPPEN SO EASILY AND THEN INEFFABLE HUSBANDS CRASHES AND BURNS??? #PLEASE omg omg #bro #good omens #good omens season 2 #good omens s2 #go season 2 #good omens spoilers #good omens season 2 spoilers #GOS2SPOILERS #thats the official tag right #ineffable bureaucracy #ineffable husbands #do you think maybe the fan response to ineffable bureaucracy may have actually had them do it???? #its possible right?? they didnt get confirmed for s2 until well after s1 came out?? #thats INSANE bro #just to be clear i dont got nothin against ineffable bureaucracy #but HOLY SHIT