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#is he aware that hes lying or does he actually remember it like that
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So, I'm curious: What's your take on Aylin's experience after/if she kills Lorroakan?
Allegedly, there's some information floating around somewhere that said Aylin was angry with Selune after she killed Lorroakan, but I can't find where this info is.
If you saw posts about that here on tumblr it was probably posted by @justanotherignot! I've actually been meaning to gather up all the devnote tidbits about Selûne from Aylin and Isobel for a while now, so thank you for the excuse to do so and ramble a bit.
Player: I was just wondering what it was like in that cage of Balthazar's. Aylin: Let us not dwell on those dark days. Their memory is a vortex within my heart that leads directly to the Hells.
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What is happening is, well, it's the century of unthinkable horror catching up to her. It's the Trauma(TM) - in one of the conversation options she's literally triggered by the mention of someone being run through repeatedly! It's the growing awareness that although she's been freed (and possibly reunited with her love), the secret is out and there are always going to be assholes gunning for her, aiming to use her as an "artefact" and power source to fuel their ambitions, without any regard for her, you know... basic personhood and well-being. Also, Lorroakan was blatantly lying. He didn't find any super special way to siphon her immortality with "no harm, no pain of any kind", he was just replicating Balthazar's soul cage (you can even find a letter from Ketheric to him, showing Lorroakan was pestering them).
On to the stuff from the game files! First, the conversation with Aylin directly after the Lorroakan fight in the tower. I'm going to be putting the context notes in square brackets next to the lines they apply to. I also plucked some audio out from the files for some of these because I love the delivery.
Aylin: The fire-haired fool is dead. Yet as I stare upon his corpse, I feel… sadness. Why? [Slow and curious, angry and confused by all that has happened.] Player: What kind of sadness is it? / I know something of sadness - or at least the ballads do. What does it feel like? Aylin: A gripping in the chest. As though I'd lost someone, something. [Lost in thought for a moment; confused.] Aylin: A paladin's fatigue, no doubt. You were excellent in battle, as is your way. And I am proud to fight at your side. [Remembering herself. She is Dame Aylin.] Aylin: I will catch my breath, then to camp I will bring my bones. Moonmaiden be with you. Player: Smiting is a weighty duty - sometimes it can be tiring. / Perhaps smiting has lost its pleasures. Aylin: Say it can't be so. For I am Selûne's sword. And ever must be. [She means it, but on the periphery of her consciousness is a tiny crack. Wondering about her fate.]
The above never fails to get me - she is Dame Aylin! Sword of the Moonmaiden! Glorious immortal paladin, champion of a righteous cause! She smites evil-doers for breakfast, that's, like, her whole thing! What do you mean she can't just pick up where she left off and go about her merry smitey way? What do you mean the thing that is supposed to be the literal core of her entire being (forever) doesn't feel good and glorious anymore, but just makes her feel sad and empty? No, no, no, we can't have that.
Player: One of the greatest tragedies of revenge is that it can only be taken once. / Because you won't get to kill him again? Aylin: Perhaps. Yet if I could run him through a thousand times, I wonder-- [Lost in thought, she's been triggered to remember her own fate being run through over and over.] Aylin: Battle has tired my mind, made me susceptible to flights of fancy. You were excellent in battle, as is your way. And I am proud to fight at your side.
Aylin: I will return to camp shortly. I just need a moment to… to… [Lost in thought.]
She so very desperately needs some rest and a chance to come to terms with everything that happened and that was done to her. And it's clear it's going to be hard because she is defaulting to trying to deny anything is wrong, is clearly trying (and failing) to just be her old self immediately, has blatantly internalised a lot of that classic I Am A Sword stuff on top of everything (even though her mother is huge on free will and choice!), and is just really not well-equipped to handle any of this at all.
Next, this is the post-Lorroakan convo you get if you have both Aylin and Isobel in camp.
Aylin: Ah. Ally mine. We are reunited once more. [Warm, but drained. She's not feeling like herself.] Aylin: I was just regaling sweet Isobel with tales of our prowess. Isobel: Very impressive. Thank you for helping Aylin - that wizard sounded absolutely dastardly. [Good humored. Soft in tone. A little uncertain - she's not sure why Aylin isn't herself.] Player: My pleasure. He had it coming. Aylin: He did, and it came. Now, my friend: bask in your victory. I will do the same. Aylin: But fear not: when the time comes for you to face the foe of foes, Isobel and I will stand by your side. [Rallying her soldierly spirit, but still a little drained.] Isobel: We wouldn't miss it. Not for anything. Aylin: Go well, friend. We will see you soon. And with our great powers combined, this city will be saved. Player: Hopefully he'll be the last. Aylin: There are always more bastards behind bastards. But we will run through them all, each by each.
Player: I hope you can rest easy now, Dame Aylin. Aylin: I always do, with darling Isobel by my side. Aylin: Enjoy the spoils of your victory. Spin memories of Lorroakan's death in your mind like silkfloss.
If Isobel isn't there (meaning she died in Act 2), you get this version:
Aylin: Ah. Ally mine. We are reunited once more. [Warm, but drained. She's not feeling like herself.] Aylin: I was just reviewing our fight against foul Lorroakan; your moves and mine. The victory was soundly won. Aylin: Don't you think? [Uncharacteristically, Aylin is seeking input. She's usually so confident about everything, but killing Lorroakan has not had the intended effect on her.] Player: Indeed I do. Let his demise serve as a warning to anyone else who'd seek you out. Aylin: Let him be the last. If my dear mother has any mercy, she will ensure it. [Trying to stay her usual self, but her mask is cracking a tiny bit here. Privately, Aylin is dealing with a great deal of anger toward her mother, the goddess Selûne, But she's not yet willing to face it. How could her powerful mother let all this happen to her?]
Player: We fought well - though I was a little worried about you afterward, in truth. Aylin: Set your mind at ease, my friend. Dame Aylin is more well now than she has been this past century. [Good humored. Soft in tone. A little uncertain - it's true she's better now than she has been, but why does she feel so shitty, then? (She's in the beginning of reckoning with the trauma of what happened to her).]
Player: I hope you can rest easy now, Dame Aylin. Aylin: Yes. I wish for the very same. Aylin: Enjoy the spoils of your victory. Spin memories of our prowess in your mind like silkfloss.
So, a few things pop out for me here. First, you get the more explicit anger at Selûne if Isobel isn't there, as opposed to the "hahah, I will smite all the bastards who dare come after me, no matter how many there are" line. "How could her powerful mother let all this happen to her?" just... damn, hits hard, even if you subscribe to the theory that Selûne simply could not intervene in the Shadowfell imprisonment beyond sending those poor people whose graves you find in front of the mausoleum.
And here Aylin really lays it on thick with the denial that there's anything wrong at all. Combined with the letter you get from her in the epilogue if Isobel is dead, it just paints such a bleak, sad picture. I can just see her going all out on the Sword of Selûne duty-bound paladin side of things, no rest, no healing, no stopping even for a moment, no dealing with anything at all, from the trauma to the bitterness towards mum. Until whatever horrible breaking point comes, a year or a century from now. The need for Isobel's humanising influence is so clear. I've touched on Isobel's side of things here.
Speaking of having a bone to pick with Selûne, if you're playing as a cleric/paladin of Selûne, you can get some extra very honest dialogue with Isobel in Last Light:
Player: Why has the Moonmaiden waited until now to take an interest in this curse? Isobel: Maybe she was waiting for one of us to find this place ourselves. Free will, and all that.
Isobel: Though if it were my place to ask why she let Ketheric turn; why she allowed this village to rot at his hands - believe me, I would. [A cold edge in her voice]
Player: Are you faring all right? It can't be easy holding a lone candle in such darkness. Isobel: All things with her strength. You know the litany. [A little sarcastically. She's got a bone to pick with Selûne but isn't being too overt.]
Side note: the amount of devnotes for Isobel's lines that say she's delivering them "with swagger" and being "cheeky" makes me smile every time. Love her. Love her snark.
Also, to get it out of the way: no, I'm fairly sure Aylin did not break her oath. I see this brought up a ton and I just see no way for it to be the case. There is nothing to suggest this outside of a wording similarity and it just makes no sense. Girl is clearly some flavour of Oath of Vengeance (she uses Abjure Enemy, so this is the case even mechanically, even though she's obviously an NPC and not a standard player-build paladin) and she killed a very shitty guy who was also explicitly after her in godawful ways. You can do far worse things in the game than her dramatic speech and backbreaker and not break you OoV.
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gucciwins · 5 months
Text
Y/N just wants Harry to like her.
Word count: 5964
A/N: Friends!!!!! I am sorry to have disappeared but I am back. Yes, I am aware this is a Halloween/October story but you're getting it now mid November (that has been going by fast). I won't work on any holiday stories because I have no idea what to write. So if you have an idea and want me to write it feel free to shoot me an ask.
Now happy reading! I love you
+
Many people go to work ready to return home, but not Y/N. No, she walks in every day with a smile and a pep in her step. She greets her coworkers by name and occasionally brings baked goods she knows everyone will enjoy. Y/N loves her job, and she’s happy to go every day.
Y/N went from working in a job she hated because it was filled with men constantly belittling her and gaslighting her that she was doing her job wrong when she was actually excelling. It all got to be too much, and Y/N decided to quit. Thank goodness she did because soon into her job search, she received an email from Carla Crain asking her if she’d be interested in joining her company. Y/N went to the interview, and after basically being pitched her dream job, she accepted and entered as head engineer. 
She’d be lying if she wasn’t nervous starting, but the people Carla had hired all shared the same values on work and life. Y/N knew she’d be in safe hands. The company is small but slowly growing. It allows for every employee to get to know each other and everyone to remember that together, they can be successful. Y/N had been at the job for two years and, with time, brought new coworkers. 
There is Estrella, who loves to talk to you about astrology, ironically enough. She states that the invisible string theory is real and that if everyone tracked it, they would notice just how small the world is. 
Carmy has a tough exterior, but once anyone gets him talking, he never stops. He loves chatting about his family and his pet Pitbull named Daisy. 
Maeve is petite, and every other month comes in with a new color in their hair. Y/N enjoys it when everyone in the office places bets on what it will be. 
Tatum is from Scotland and loves to remind everyone when they all go out for drinks on the weekend. 
Chessy is the only one who works remotely, but when she comes in, she is always laughing in the office. They also all get a basket of fresh fruit and vegetables from her garden. 
Overall, Y/N knows she had the best coworkers and wouldn’t change her job for the world, but as their company grows, so does the need in their team. The newest hire is Harry Styles, who has come in as a computer technician to help develop their website and also help with any internal security. Honestly, all she knew was that it was a complex job. 
Harry was on the quiet side. She tried to start conversations with him, but he always seemed to brush her off. At first, Y/N wondered if she should take it personally but soon learned he did that to everyone. Even though he didn’t open up to them, they still invited Harry to join them. 
The thing was, he rejected all their dinners. Y/N loved going to a Korean BBQ Maeve introduced them to, and Harry claimed not to eat meat (not that she didn’t think it wasn’t true. Chessy was vegetarian, after all.) They would go to a bar and share a few drinks when they knew they would all be having a long weekend off. Harry always claimed he had an early morning. It didn't matter if they offered to meet earlier. Y/N’s favorite nights were trivia nights that happened at a local brewery. Y/N was a beat, especially in history. Harry declined, and this one hurt her the most.
 Everyone would ask Harry to join. 
Karaoke. Can’t hold a tune.
Bowling. Too loud. 
It seems there was an excuse for everything.
Everyone began to stop inviting him out, and while Y/N didn’t enjoy being told no, she would send notes to the office with the time and place of what they would be doing. She’d always keep an eye on the door, but Y/N went home disappointed each time.
The thing was, Y/N was determined to make a friend out of Harry. She soon learned large public settings must be overwhelming for him and decided to find a new way to approach him. Everyone took lunch at the same time in the office except for Harry. Sometimes, they all ate at the sub shop across the street. Most times, Y/N brought food from home, and she cooked. While she liked eating out, Y/N preferred a home-cooked meal. She caught Harry taking his lunch half an hour later than her and used that to her advantage. 
They had a conference that always remained empty as everyone preferred the main lounge. Harry went in there every day for his lunch hour. One day, Y/N walks in, smiles at him, and sits as far away as she can. She made sure to only be there for ten minutes. The next day, she stayed for twenty and wished him a nice lunch when she left.  
Slowly, Harry begins to spare her glances, but Y/N keeps to herself until the day she sits across from him. 
“Hi, Harry. Is it okay for me to sit here?” 
No answer. 
“I’m going to take that as a yes.” 
He fidgets with his fork. 
“I saw a lime bike out front. Did you ride that today?” 
Harry looks at her briefly before staring back at his plate. 
“I’ve always wanted to try one, but I’m honestly scared of being hit by a car. Chessy lets me ride hers when I go down to visit her. She’s got beautiful trails. You’d probably enjoy it.” 
Y/N thinks that’s enough for today and excuses herself. She doesn’t realize Harry noticed she didn’t take a bite of her lunch. When she goes back to her desk after using the restroom, she finds three chocolate chip cookies sitting on her desk. Y/N rushes to try one, doesn’t even think of who delivered them or that a green-eyed man was standing right outside waiting to hear her reaction. 
With time, it seems Harry is coming to appreciate Y/N’s presence. He has never expressed it, but she knows because he nods when he agrees to something she says or tightens the hold on his fork when Y/N shares something upsetting. Y/N had not gotten more than two words out of him. At this point, Y/N felt like Harry knew everything about her; all she knew was that he had the most beautiful eyes, and his hair always looked soft. 
One day, after many lunches together, she finds Harry reading a book. Y/N knows he might want quiet, but her curiosity gets the best of her. 
“Any good?”
Harry looks up and grimaces. “Think it’s really boring.” 
Y/N laughs because she wasn’t expecting that response. “Then put it down.” 
He shakes his head. “Don’t like not knowing the ending.”
Y/N shrugs, “if you don’t like a book, I wouldn’t put myself through the torture of it all. Skip to the end if you're curious.” She understands she spoke too much and excuses herself. 
The next day, Harry is sitting in his usual spot, but this time, a new book is in his hand. Y/N bites back a smile. 
“What’s this one about?”
“My sister recommended it,” he defends. 
Y/N isn’t halted by his harsh tone. “What’s it about?” 
“Well, it’s Pride and Prejudice.” He shows her the book cover. 
“Like the movie?” Y/N asks.
Harry laughs, and Y/N feels successful. His laughter rings in her ears. It’s a lovely sound, and she wishes to hear it more. “Yeah…I like the movie.” 
“Me too,” she gushes. “Do you think I’d like the book?”
He frowns, “if you like Jane Austen.” 
“Might have to pick it up next time I’m in the shops.”
+
Their interactions are solely during their lunches but sometimes spills out during work. Y/N seemed to have an issue with her computer and radioed IT. She needed to submit her document, but her desktop appeared to freeze whenever she opened a new file. Harry knocked on her door, and she welcomed him in. Y/N explained the issue, and Harry was quick to get to work. It was only a few minutes when she noticed that her document was open and her computer wasn’t having a meltdown.
“Thank you so much, Harry!” Y/N cheers, knowing he saved her. 
Harry shrugs because it’s his job. “You have a nice photo.” He’s pointing to her picture frame on her desk. It’s a picture of her and a dog in Iceland at the end of her hike. It was taken back when she was nineteen years old. 
“Thank you. I took that on my first solo trip.” She bites her lip, hoping Harry takes the bait. 
“Where to?” He asks curiously. 
She silently cheers, “Iceland.”
“Is that your dog?” 
“I actually found him mid-hike and took him back with me. I hoped to see his owner on the trail, but there was no luck. He didn’t even seem worried. Once I returned to the car park, his owner was there. After that hike, I decided I liked the company of a dog and returned home to adopt Tutter, a Jack Russel Terrier who loves to play fetch.”
“Why isn’t Tutter on your desk?” 
Y/N feels her face flush, “now, don’t be mean. I love my son, but that trip taught me I can do anything I set my mind to, whether alone or with company.”
Harry gives her the slightest smile. “I-I learned Italian because I always dreamed of having an Italian home.”
Y/N’s eyes brighten. Harry is opening up to her, and instead of pushing, she offers more of herself. “I’ve dreamed of visiting. The Amalfi coast is my dream to swim in. Silly, I know,” she brushes off, trying to downplay her excitement. 
Harry doesn’t let her. “You’ll make it.”
He finally excuses himself. Y/N is happy for the rest of the day because she realizes Harry is allowing her in.
+
September means the preparations for Halloween have begun. It starts with little things, from coasters and mugs to the occasional treat. One day, a tiny spider sits on his desk for a second. Harry believed it was real until it began to glow purple. Harry kept it on his desk next to his sticky notes. He doesn't do anything about it; there’s no need. By the second week, the office is entirely decorated. Harry admits a few decorations have scared him, especially the skeleton in the corner of the restroom.
It’s a quiet day when he’s walking by the break room on his way to the secluded office to have lunch when he hears people talking. Harry pauses because he hears Y/N’s voice mixed in with everyone else. 
“But it seems like he doesn’t like us,” Harry hears quietly. 
“It’s hard,” Y/N defends. “You’re all extroverts. It can be overwhelming.” 
Harry knows she’s trying for them to understand.
“But Carla is all about unity in the office. This is a concern.”
“It’s not, Carmy.” Y/N shuts him down, clearly upset she had to defend him.
Harry decides he’s heard enough and decides to eat lunch alone in his car. He’s thankful it was a sandwich and nothing he had to heat up. For the entire lunch and the rest of the day, all he thinks about are the words of his coworkers. 
Y/N looked for Harry, excited to talk about a book she started, but Harry was nowhere to be found. She wouldn’t have been concerned, but it’s clear no one saw him since before lunch. She wishes Harry could confide in her even if a fraction of what she shares with him/ 
The next day, everyone walks into the office at their usual time, everyone making their rounds together to the break room to prepare their coffees and store their lunch in the fridge. When Y/N walks in, she sees her coworkers huddled around the table and peeks around them to see what has captured their attention. There on the table is a box of Halloween cookies from a bakery uptown with a note attached. 
Enjoy - HS
Y/N lets a smile take over her face. She knew Harry cared about them but understood why he finally did something. She tells her coworkers they owe him an apology, and they all agree. Y/N makes sure to head to Harry’s office and thank him for the cookies. Harry tells her it’s nothing. She bounces away to her office, where Estrella, Carmy, Maeve, and Tatum are standing outside her door. 
“Can you come with us? Feel like he likes you.” Tatum tells her. 
Y/N sighs and tells them to follow her. Once again, she knocks on his door, and they all file in when he welcomes her in. Harry looks at them confused. 
“Uh, is there an issue?” Harry asks, concerned. 
Carmy starts, “we want to apologize if you overheard us yesterday.” 
“Right,” Harry sighs, knowing it might be a good time to share with them. If he trusted Y/N and she trusted them, he knew he could also start to. 
“It was wrong of us,” Maeve continues. “Y/N raves about how smart and nice you are, but we don’t get to see that. We’re sorry.” 
Everyone else repeats the sentiment while Harry looks at Y/N, who offers him an encouraging smile. She must know his anxiety is through the roof. 
Harry takes a deep breath, “right, uh.” He looks down at his shoes, untied lace on his black Adidas. “I struggle with social anxiety and new environments. It’s better than when I was a kid, but it’s easy to get overwhelmed even more when being the new guy.” 
“No worries. We get that,” Tatum expresses. “Estrella gets bad migraines.” 
“Don’t air other people’s personal stuff,” Y/N reminds them. 
“We’re sorry,” they offered one last time. “Thanks for the cookies.” 
After that, they hurried out while Y/N stayed behind. 
“I wanted to apologize,” he begins.
“You don’t–” Harry cuts her off. “You’ve made me feel comfortable.”
Y/N sighs, letting her shoulders drop. “Not enough, it seems.” 
“It can just be too much sometimes.”
“I-I get panic attacks.” Y/N shares, surprising herself. “When I overwhelm myself, it can happen. It’s uncommon and has not happened at work, but I understand.” 
“Thank you for sharing,” Harry tells her honestly. “Lunch?” 
“See you in a bit then.”
+
Through September, Y/N and Harry have lunch together every day. They read together, Harry more into classic literature, and Y/N loving to devour a juicy romance that has her pausing every few minutes, trying her best not to scream because the love interest brushed hands. Some days, Y/N will do a sudoku game while Harry does the daily crossword. Y/N likes to solve the Wordle of the day and most times asks Harry for help if she fears she might not get it. Some days, Y/N brings in her laptop during lunch because she is behind and needs to catch up. Harry reminds her to relax. He knows it’s easier said than done, so he tells her about the book he’s reading or asks about her dog and the snacks he eats. 
Before she knows if they’ve made it to October. One of the best months of the year. Y/N loves planning events, and this is one she wishes Harry would say yes to. She knocks on his office door, and Harry freezes, staring at his computer screen. He glances at the calendar; it's the first Monday of the month, and Harry knows they’ve planned a fun event. 
Harry is practicing his excuse when Y/N walks in with a bright smile, wearing a “Great Pumpkin” shirt with Snoopy and Charlie Brown. She has told him it’s her favorite movie to watch during the month and “The Conjuring” Harry wasn’t sure how the sweetest girl he knew could handle a horror film like that. He had told her she was fearless.
“Hi, Y/N, pretty shirt.” 
Y/N looks down at it as if she had forgotten what she was wearing. She beams at his compliment. “Thank you, Harry!” 
Harry asks how her day is going and shares how there was traffic on the way down and how she didn’t have time to stop by her favorite coffee shop because there was a line out the door. “Pumpkin spice isn’t even that good, H. I mean, it’s okay, but I wanted my coffee.”
He laughs at her pouting and promises to make her one during lunch. She perks up at his mention of their shared time together. 
“Speaking of our time together. We plan to go to a haunted pumpkin patch in the next town over if you want to join us. It’s two weeks from now, so it's the 21st.” Harry could hear the excitement in her voice and didn’t think he could say no to her.
“Everyone is going?”
“We invited everyone, but only Carmy, Estella, Maeve, Tatum, and myself are going. Carla was not for it. Dan is warming up to us but still says no. Though he did agree for trivia next week.”
Before he can stop himself, he says, “yes.”
“You will?” Y/N answers surprised. 
“Mhm…uh, it sounds like fun,” he says unconvincingly.
Y/N’s smile brightens, “I’m not hung on haunts, but they’ve got amazing apple cider you’ve got to try with me.” 
“Happy to join,” he tells her honestly. “Let me know the ticket cost or if we need to purchase our own.”
She nods eagerly. It’s clear Harry has just made her day. 
+
The day comes faster than he’s ready, and while a part of him is excited, Harry feels his nerves will get the best of him. Y/N had told them no one was dressing up in costume and even went as far as to send him a photo of her outfit to assure him she wasn’t playing a joke with him. She was wearing bell bottoms with a Mickey Mouse in a pumpkin shirt. She told him it was his favorite to wear each year. 
Harry knew it would be cold, so he wore a simple Halloween shirt in his closet and loose-fitting jeans. His jacket in his car he knew would keep him warm throughout the night. He wasn’t trying to impress anyone (only Y/N) but also wanted to look nice outside of the office for once. When Harry parked, Y/N told him she’d wait by the entrance for him, and he couldn’t miss her as she had a cute pumpkin headband on.
It seemed Y/N spotted him, too, because she rushed towards him. “Hi, Harry,” she greeted with a cheery smile.
“Hi, you look lovely,” he offered her a small compliment that made his hands sweat.
“You’re too sweet. Come on, we were waiting on you.” She grabs his hand and pulls him along to where everyone else is. 
Everyone offers their greeting, and he receives a few compliments on his tame outfit. It’s an old Halloween shirt he got at a vintage shop in New Orleans five years ago. His sister went on a trip and asked him to join. Harry could never say no to her. 
Harry notices everyone begins to drift off into conversations, but Y/N stays by his side. He takes the time to admire her as she looks around at all the decorations. There are a lot of people, but it seems they are heading to the pumpkin patch. There are stalls selling sweet treats, and he keeps in mind to buy Y/N a cider, remembering she mentioned loving it. Harry has always thought being in a relationship to be intimidating. He loves love but struggles to put himself out there, to allow someone else to get to know him, but here is Y/N, who managed to worm her way into his life, knocking down all of his walls. 
Harry likes Y/N.
It’s something he took a long time to figure out, but when he realized the excitement of seeing her each morning, he looked forward to it. He let it consume him, but he had no idea if she could feel the same way. 
“Did you drive here, Harry?” Y/N asks, breaking their silence. 
“I did,” he answers. 
“Do you think you could maybe take me home?” She brushes her hair out of her face. “I came with Tatum, but she’s been wanting to take the time to connect with Estella, if you know what I mean,” Y/N gestures to them kissing on hay bales. 
Harry had no idea that there were feelings between them. “I can do that, Y/N.” 
“Great!” She cheers gratefully. “I owe you an apple cider, then.” 
Y/N eagerly walks them to the stand, and before she can pay for both, Harry slips the kind older lady a twenty walking away with their drinks. Y/N stays behind, shocked, but quickly catches up, pouting at Harry. “Harry, I was going to pay.”
He shook his head, “my mum would have my head if I let you pay.”
Y/N bends her head, careful to take a sip of the warm drink. “Well, thank you.”
Maeve bounces over to them. “Hi beauties, we’re ready to start if you all are.” 
Harry eyes Y/N, waiting to see her response. Y/N offers her friend a large grin, and Harry agrees he’s ready. He throws away their ups, and once he finds Y/N with the group, he slithers to stand behind her. Y/N offers him a tense smile as the group tries to decide who will lead. 
“I can go in front,” Harry offers, sensing no one wanting to make the first move. Everyone thanks him and heads to the first maze. Y/N informs him it’s once based on the catacombs in France. 
“There’s a movie based on the catacombs,” Y/N shares as they walk together.
“As Above So Below,” Harry says. “It spooked me.” 
“You’ve seen it,” she laughs, holding onto his arm for a second, unable to contain her excitement. “It’s one of my favorites.”
“It’s a good one,” he agrees. 
They fall into silence as the chatter of their coworker fills the air. Harry sees Y/N get fidgety, but she’s smiling as she leads the way to the short line. “I’m actually really nervous,” she tells Harry. 
“We’ll be fine. I got you,” he assures Y/N.
Harry extends his hand, and she accepts it. He intertwines their fingers and pulls her along as the line moves slowly. Y/N does her best not to think about the feeling of his hand, but it fits perfectly between hers. She feels her hand begin to sweat and wants to pull it away, but Harry has a firm grip on her. 
“Is it okay?” Harry nods, gesturing to their hands. 
“Safe, uh, I feel safe.”
The worker asks how many, and Y/N peeks behind Harry to tell her six. Harry is grateful Y/N knows when to take charge because while he can lead a scary maze and knows everyone is dressed in costumes, he still feels nervous speaking to strangers. Harry squeezes her hand once in thanks. She gives him two quick squeezes in return.
Harry guides them in. Y/N lets go of his hand to hide behind Harry, her hands on his shoulder as she peeks behind him. There is a group ahead where she can hear the people in front screaming, which allows her to prepare for the scare, if that is even possible. 
Her eyes widen in amazement as she takes in the darkness of the building. Everything is covered in black cloth. She can see the spots where actors will jump out. Y/N mumbles an apology to Harry for holding on to him tight. Estella is behind her, screaming at everything that moves. Harry steps through the curtain, and she feels her hold on him loosen. As she is stepping closer to reach him, a man screams in her face, making her rush forward and propel Harry into a wall. 
“I’m sorry. I’m so so sorry.” Y/N apologized repeatedly as Harry rushed them to finish the maze. She felt her heartbeat in her throat and knew she needed to calm down. One look at Harry, and he rushed her to a dark corner, not concerned about their friends. 
“Y/N? I’m okay. You’re okay.” Harry tried assuring her.
She repeated it in her head. They were okay. They got out of the dumb maze, and Harry wasn’t hurt. It took her a few minutes to realize she had a panic attack. Y/N had not even felt it coming and didn’t think a haunted house would trip her into one, but with all the overthinking she had been doing, it made sense it led to this.
“I’m sorry, Harry.” Y/N bashfully looks away from him. She can’t believe she embarrassed herself in front of him like this. 
“No apologies,” he brushes her off and doesn’t ask her any questions, only to ensure she is okay. 
They rejoin the group after ten minutes by the looks of everyone's sympathetic smiles. She knows they saw her freak out, but they’re her friends. She knows she’s in safe hands with everyone, especially Harry.
“What’s the next maze?” Y/N asks cheerfully. 
And so they continue on. 
The next maze is much smoother than the first. Carmy leads, tucking Harry and Y/N in the middle with Tatum and Estella in the back. That order seems to comfort Y/N for the next few mazes. Each worker makes her scream but then falls into giggles when Harry traces comforting shapes on her hand. It takes her mind off these scarers trying to get her to scream and instead focus on the gentle touches of her crush. 
While doing the mazes is fun, Y/N is soaking up talking to Harry in line. They’re in a new environment where they do not need to discuss work. She feels free to ask him anything, but sometimes she is unsure where to start. Y/N doesn’t know if she wants to hear about his weekend plans or ask him about his favorite movie or who his favorite Muppet character is? 
Talking to Maeve and everyone else is easy because she’s gone out with them. She knows them personally, but with Harry, he always kept that guard up, and now she’s unsure what to do if he decides to keep it up. 
To her surprise, Harry always starts the conversation with her. Harry shares about a new show he started watching and how it makes him anxious for the main character when they do something out of character. When he asks Y/N if there is a show she recommends, her mind goes blank, and the first thing that comes to mind is “Fleabag.” 
“It’s the saddest but most comforting show I have ever seen,” Y/N gushes. 
“With Phoebe Waller-Bridge?” 
“Mhmm…the second season has Andrew Scott. Irish treasure.” 
“Paul Mescal,” he adds. 
“Hozier.” 
“Saoirse Ronan,” they say in unison before falling into fits of giggles. 
“You’ve got taste, Styles.” 
“As do you.” 
The line moves, and they change conversations to talk about the best musicals they’ve seen. Y/N swears “Waitress” is the best thing created, but Harry tells her “Moulin Rouge” is his favorite. Y/N loves how easily the conversation with Harry seems to flow. He feels like a long-lost friend. Someone who once was in her life has now found his way back to her. 
Not only is he getting along with her, but everyone is getting to see the Harry she had come to know. The one who makes cheesy jokes and loves to hear every detail of the story being told. It turns out he and Maeve frequent the same record store. There’s a Stevie Nicks vinyl Harry is on the hunt for, and Maeve promised to keep an eye out for him. Tatum learns Harry can play guitar and asks him to show them sometime. Something he agreed to with pink cheeks. Y/N knew tonight was a big step for Harry, and she was glad everyone made him feel comfortable.
As the night was coming to an end, the maze lines got shorter, and the more Y/N screamed. It made her laugh right after, but still not her favorite part of the night. Before the cold can settle in, they all call it a midnight night. Tatum and Estella head out hand in hand. Y/N can’t wait for the details of that on Monday. Carmy is telling Harry a story, so Maeve uses the opportunity to remind Y/N to make a move.
“It’s now or never, girlfriend.” 
Y/N rolls her eyes, “please don’t pressure me on this.” 
“Y/N that man is, head over heels for you. If I was antisocial this is not an event I would ever do. Unless someone I fancied asked.” 
Y/N toes her food in the sand and, in a low voice, asks, “do you really think he likes me?” 
Maeve smiles, brushing Y/N’s hair out of her eyes. “That man lit up every time your eyes were on him. I don’t know Harry as well as you do, but I can notice a guy with a crush from miles away. Trust me on this.” 
Y/N backs down, relaxing, “okay.” 
“Good. Now text me when you get home. Carmy’s got me.” Maeve gives her a tight hug and then pulls Carmy away from Harry. 
He walks over to her with a shy smile on his face. “Have a good time?” 
“The best,” she tells him. “Though I might need another apple cider. Think my heart needs it.”
“By all means, lead the way.” 
After getting one last warm apple cider, they reach Harry’s car. It’s an electric car because he’s conscious of his environmental impact and knows one person can go a long way into the future. Harry opens Y/N’s car door and waits until he sees her seated and buckled to close her door. As he gets ready to drive off, he turns on the heater, knowing if he’s cold, Y/N must be too. 
The car ride starts off quietly, Y/N guiding him every so often when to make a turn. Y/N sees her favorite coffee shop and knows she is almost home. “That was fun,” Harry starts. “I’m happy I went.” 
“Mhmm…it was a good time. Glad you joined us,” she tells him honestly. 
Harry notices at a red light that she’s fidgeting with her hands and thinks he might still be cold. “Do you need me to turn up the heater?” 
Y/N shakes her head, “no, sorry, I’m fine.” 
Harry drives down a few more streets when Y/N tells him to turn left. “It’s the third one on the right.” 
He parks right outside her driveway. From here, he can see her decorations hung up. It’s decorated charmingly. It’s clear no scaring would happen here. She’s got two pumpkins outside her door. One has stars carved all around; the other is a cat on a witch’s broom. Bat lights are hanging up the railing of the steps. She even has a few inflatables. His favorite has to be the one of Mickey Mouse as a vampire.
“Thank you for driving me home. I appreciated it.” She smiles at him, and he returns it. Harry gets out of the car and opens her door. 
“Let me walk you up.” 
Y/N feels her cheeks burn and leads the way. 
“We’re planning trivia soon,” Y/N says, testing the waters. 
“Hmm…only if you’re on my team.” 
“We would all be on the same team,” his flirting going over her head.
Harry’s face turns pink, “uh, right.” 
She laughs, placing her hand on his bicep. “Only joking.”
Y/N pulls him in, whispering good night, except when she pulls away, she locks eyes with his emerald eyes, and it’s like she’s in a trance. She feels herself leaning in closer, and before she knows it, Y/N presses her lips to Harry in an airy kiss.
She pulls back, shocked. “Sorry,” she breathed out. “I-I should have asked.” 
“Ask me,” he pleads. 
“What?” Y/N isn’t sure if she heard him correctly. 
Harry doesn’t care anymore. He raises his hand to rest on her cheeks. “Can I kiss you, Y/N?” 
She feels how close he is. She can feel his breath mixing with hers. “Yes.” 
When their lips meet, Y/N swears she feels time stop. Harry is starting slow as he begins to learn what she likes.  Y/N places a hand on his chest, needing to have a secure hold as she feels him take her breath away. Her emotions are all over the place. His lips are smooth as they move against hers in a dance that feels like they’ve done a hundred times before. Harry deepens the kiss, pushing her up against the door, making Y/N grab a fistful of his shirt, not wanting him to pull away. Y/N lets herself get wrapped up in all her feelings because she knows that a kiss this special means it won’t be her only one, and she finally allows all her feelings to pour into the kiss. 
Y/N isn’t sure how long they spent kissing outside her door. It seems she’s lost track of time since she got a taste of Harry. “I don’t want you to go,” she mutters against his lips when she feels him begin to pull away.
“I’ll see you Monday,” he promises. 
“Too far.
Harry laughs, “you can call me tomorrow when you wake up.” Knowing she likes to sleep in, he would rather not wake her up. 
“Okay,” she whispers in defeat. 
“Good night,” Harry takes a step back. 
Y/N bites her lip and gives him a wave. “Do you want a kiss goodbye?” 
Harry can’t say no.
+
Monday morning, Y/N walks in with a large smile. It makes everyone stop and stare. She makes her rounds, wishing everyone a good morning, and saves Harry for last. 
“Hi, Harry.” She chirps. 
“Morning,” he answers timidly. 
Y/N pouts because he didn’t even look at her. She wanted to see his beautiful eyes. “So I was thinking…” she trails off. 
Harry turns, giving her his undivided attention, and Y/N’s smile widens. “How does a date sound to you?”
“A date?” He echoes. 
“With me,” she giggles.
“Best thing I've heard all day.”
Y/N claps her hands together, “wonderful.” 
“How does this weekend sound?” 
“Too far,” she teases. “Saturday?” 
“I’ll pick you up,” he promises. 
“Good. Good.” Y/N lingers by his door. 
“Yes, love?” 
Y/N feels her cheeks heat up but doesn’t look away from him. “Are we still on for lunch?” 
Harry gives her a dimpled grin, “I’ve got a new book for us to discuss.” 
Y/N tells him she can’t wait and walks away. Harry watches her go, and as if she can feel his stare on her, she turns around and gives him a wink. Harry knows he’s way in over his head with someone as amazing as Y/N, but he can’t wait to prove each day to her how much he deserves to be with her.
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fangsandfeels · 6 months
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The vagueness of Astarion sleeping mechanics drives me mad sometimes
So, the game says that elves don't sleep - to the point where it's ironically stated that the only way for them to experience sleeping is to either drink a potion of Angelic Slumber or "get hit really hard with a chair".
Instead, they enter a semi-aware meditative state (Revery) where they experience memories from their past lives (usually most positive and emotional parts). Or they just sorting through their current memories.
Now, we've seen Astarion meditating if his way of lying on a bedroll is anything to go by. He is also immune to sleeping spells. We could also see him sleeping (in a Durge run). I know that devs technically recycle the same sleeping pose for all romanced companions, but still. Also, Astarion has nightmares, which is not typical for elves.
Of course, when I was going through the lore, I scratched the surface, but from what I understood, Revery is supposed to be a controlled state, and nightmares aren't exactly controlled.
But, I've found a very interesting bit that (so far) is still considered part of the official canon:
Elves can sleep and dream just like any human, but almost all surface elves avoid doing so. Dreams, as humans know them, are strange and confusing to elves. Unlike the actual memories of one’s primal soul, present life, or past lives, dreams are uncontrolled products of the subconscious, and perhaps the subconscious minds of those past lives or primal souls as well. An elf who dreams must always wonder whose mind these thoughts first arose from, and why. Priests of Sehanine Moonbow are an exception: they sleep and dream to receive signs from their god, and elves consult such priests to interpret their own dreams."
From: Mordenkainrn's Tome Of Foes, Chapter 2: Elves
And not only does this little bit explain a lot, but it also provides some food for your fic writing purposes.
Now, I'm entering the headcanon territory, so be warned.
Astarion's access to Revery got horribly fucked up after he had been Turned. Not only does he no longer have access to his previous lives since he is technically dead and plucked from the cycle, but he also can't even have his happy or good memories before he became a spawn. Even if they are still there, somewhere in the memory palace, getting to them requires going through the catalog of traumatic and painful memories he acquired after being enslaved by Cazador. It's like running through a burning house trying to rescue your family photo - and the hall gets longer each time. So, entering a trance means confronting the worst memories of his life over and over because there is nothing else there.
Due to this Astarion may resort to sleeping, which elves don't usually do. Elves don't like dreams because dreams are subconscious, and they can't be controlled, which scares them. For Astarion, however, it means there is a chance of him subconsciously dreaming of something nice or just being blissfully empty. However, it doesn't safeguard him from nightmares which (because they are the product of his unconsciousness) get even more twisted than simple memories.
Additionally, there can be a possibility that after becoming a spawn he got cut off from meditation and trances completely, relying on sleeping only: at least, the cut spawn epilogue by Withers mentions how while Astarion needs to sleep again, he doesn't sleep alone. While we don't know what that means exactly (and whether it will ever be implemented in the game), I assume that the tadpole gave him the ability to meditate back, but it was a small improvement because his memory headspace no longer holds happy memories capable of offering solace or refuge.
So, my personal headcanon is that he switches between meditating and sleeping depending on how aware he needs to be, and whatever option feels less torturous at the moment.
For instance, in his Origin run, when he remembers the moment of Cazador carving scars into him, he is in a trance. Which is why the memory is so horribly vivid, as if he is reliving it anew.
However, when he has a nightmare where Cazador finds him, he is sleeping and experiencing a memory affected by his subconsciousness. Which is why he jolts himself awake and desperate to know the limits of his freedom.
So, yes, the man literally can't catch a break.
On a happier note (and for your hurt/comfort fanfiction purposes), once Astarion starts traveling with Tav and the group, his memory bank gets updated with memories that are actually fun and nice, so he has something to linger upon when he is meditating. Sleeping gradually becomes a bit more pleasant experience because his subconsciousness got more material to work with, so the quality of his non-controlled dreams has to gradually improve.
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angelltheninth · 1 month
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Jujutsu Characters Can't Believe You're in Love with Them
Pairing: Yuuji Itadori, Ryomen Sukuna, Fushiguro Megumi, Nobara Kugisaki, Gojo Satoru, Nanami Kento, Geto Suguru x Reader
Tags: fluff, angst, love confession, soothing kisses, reassurance, doubt, emotional hurt/comfort
A/N: Serving up some angst today.
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YUUJI
Believes there's so many better options for you out there. He can't even be himself sometimes, he can't guarantee that he won't be taken over when things get out of control and is well aware of the limits of his own power to protect you. Does love you, a lot actually, but now that you made your own feelings known it opens you up to being a potential target. This would only give him more incentive to get stronger but he won't date you until he can protect you.
SUKUNA
It isn't that you can't love him, you can worship him, you can fall in lust with him and he would even like that kind of attention. But being in love with him? Wanting to have a romantic relationship and for him to be your boyfriend? He's never experienced that before. But don't mistake it as him being insecure, hesitant would be a better word for it as he's not sure how to respond in a way that would make you both happy. Give him time.
MEGUMI
Puts a bit of distance between you two when you tell him you're in love with him. Still goes on missions and classes with you but he doesn't hang out with you outside of that to the point where his friends start thinking there's something wrong. The distance allowed him to sort out his own feelings for you but he does agree that he shouldn't have cut you off like that. It's hard for him to accept a genuine crush on him with his kind of background.
NOBARA
Was head over heels at first, kissing you right away before she remembered that unlike her you aren't a Sorcerer. You don't know about the kind of monsters she deals with on the daily basis. And without you knowing all of her can you really be in love with her or just the idea of her? Was it her fault too, for not telling you and was she leading you on? Her solution is not to break up with you but to slowly ease you into what her world is like.
GOJO
At first he didn't even respond to your confession, instead acting like you're joking, almost hoping you were. He's experienced heartbreak before, he doesn't want to go through it again so it would be best to pretend your confession isn't real. Does he want it to be real? Yes. But at the same time it feels like it would be tempting fate until you leave him like many others have. Not even your kisses can completely ease his mind, only temporarily.
NANAMI
Thinks that you're lying to him, he isn't boyfriend material, he's always busy, always running somewhere, always in some kind of danger. When you point out that you're all those things too, since you work together, he is still hesitant. Love takes a lot of time, something that you didn't enough of together for him to believe your feelings are love. However if you feel that strongly about this then he's willing to go on a few dates with you to see where this goes.
GETO
Laughs when you confess to him, which visibly hurts you but he doesn't realize it right away, he figured your confession was some kind of ploy to get into his good graces. When he realizes how much he hurt you he feels awkward around you, doesn't know how to make it better. Since he isn't in love with you it would be wrong to string you along. He does sense something between you two and is willing to give this a shot if you want to give him another chance.
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sagesskies · 4 months
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ʏᴀɴᴅᴇʀᴇ ꜱᴘɪʀɪᴛ
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✒ ɴᴏᴛ ᴇᴠᴇɴ ᴅᴇᴀᴛʜ ᴄᴀɴ ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴘᴀʀᴛ
☏ - ᴠᴏɪᴄᴇᴍᴀɪʟ: ᴍʀ. ꜱᴀɢᴇ ᴡᴏᴜʟᴅ ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴛᴏ ꜱɪɴᴄᴇʀᴇʟʏ ᴀᴘᴏʟᴏɢɪᴢᴇ ꜰᴏʀ ᴛʜᴇ ᴅᴇʟᴀʏ ɪɴ ᴛʜᴇ ᴘᴀʀᴛ 2 ᴏꜰ ʏᴀɴᴅᴇʀᴇ ᴠɪᴄᴛᴏʀʏ ɢᴏᴅ, ʜᴇ ᴀꜱꜱᴜʀᴇꜱ ʏᴏᴜ ɪᴛ ɪꜱ ɴᴇᴀʀʟʏ ꜰɪɴɪꜱʜᴇᴅ. ɪɴ ᴛʜᴇ ᴍᴇᴀɴ ᴛɪᴍᴇ, ᴇɴᴊᴏʏ.
ᴄᴏɴᴛᴇɴᴛ ɪɴᴄʟᴜᴅᴇꜱ: ᴍᴇɴᴛɪᴏɴꜱ ᴏꜰ ʜᴏᴍᴏᴘʜᴏʙɪᴀ, ᴄʜᴇᴀᴛɪɴɢ [ᴛʜᴇ ɢɪʀʟ ɪꜱ ʜɪꜱ ʙᴇᴀʀᴅ], ꜱᴡᴇᴀʀɪɴɢ, ᴠɪᴏʟᴇɴᴄᴇ, ᴅᴇᴀᴛʜ, ꜱᴍᴏᴋɪɴɢ, ɢʜᴏꜱᴛ ꜱʜᴇɴᴀɴɪɢᴀɴꜱ, ᴠᴇʀʏ ᴍɪʟᴅ ꜱᴇxᴜᴀʟ ᴄᴏɴᴛᴇɴᴛ, ᴅᴜʙᴄᴏɴ, ᴛᴇʟʟ ᴍᴇ ɪꜰ ɪ ᴍɪꜱꜱᴇᴅ ᴀɴʏᴛʜɪɴɢ ᴇʟꜱᴇ!
Yandere Spirit who was your secret boyfriend in high school. A forbidden romance between two youths, who often got to keep their secret because it’d always be excused as just ‘Boys being boys’. He was the most popular boy in school, his older brother was just as popular, but he was even more so. 
Yandere Spirit who was good looking, kind hearted, intelligent, and athletically talented as well. You never knew how you were able to get with a guy like him, you were simply another guy on the track team, and he was not only the team’s star but also the captain. 
Yandere Spirit who was possessive of you, even in life. He’d always claim you as his partner for group projects, even if there were smarter kids in class, and whenever there was an opportunity he'd always insist you wear his track jacket that had his last name on the back. 
Yandere Spirit who still dated other girls, and you tried not to mind so much. They were just a cover, he told you that and you knew it to be true, both of you were aware of what happened to gay boys in this town. He understood more than you, because his older brother Tommy was one of them, and he ran away when he was seventeen. 
Yandere Spirit who remains oblivious to how much his behavior with his girlfriends bother you. You never liked how he was always so physically intimate with them. Yeah, it'd be expected of a couple but did he have to do it so much? God, you can't bear to watch this.
Yandere Spirit who always notices how you distance yourself from him whenever he has a new girlfriend, and one day confronts you about it.
“Cmoon, [Name], why won't you just tell me!” Raphael practically whines, he refused to let go of your hand. You were both part of the track and field team but with his strength you'd argue he could be a football player. 
When you still didn't reply, he huffs, looks around to see if anybody else was around, then pulls you in close, perching his head on top of yours despite your protests. 
“Please babe?” God you never liked it when he called you babe, but you let him anyway, “Tell me what's bothering you…” He sounds like he's near to tears but you keep your lips shut.
“Raph, seriously I'm fine,” You insist, even though you're really not. 
The whole day, you had to hang around Raphael and his new girlfriend. It wasn't so bad, Raph made sure that you were included in the conversation and his girl, Cheryl you think her name was, was actually very nice. 
Your problem with the situation was seeing your boyfriend being all sweet and cuddly with his new beard the same way he always was with you. Well, there was the fact that he was technically cheating on you- But that's not the big issue here! 
Unfortunately for you, you shared a good quarter of your classes with the two lovebirds, and eventually you just distanced yourself from them till you were able to handle the sight of the two of them together. 
Even more unfortunately, was Raph's clinginess to you. When he saw you start to drift away, he immediately pulled you back in and when you decided to just ignore them as best as possible without looking rude, he caught on to that too. 
“Ugh, I know you're lying [Name],” Raphael pouted, “Come on, remember how we promised each other no secrets between us? Don't tell me you forgot!” 
You rolled your eyes, “Anybody would forget Raph, you made me say it in the 2nd grade.” 
“Still!” He protested, “Just tell me already [Name].” You could feel his grip get tighter around you, he was getting impatient. 
“Was it something I did?” Yes. 
“Does it have to do with Cheryl?” Yes. 
“Oh come on, don't tell me you're jealous of her!” It was Raph’s turn to roll his eyes, “Babe you know I'm only using her as a cover.” 
You glared at him, “Doesn't mean you have to be so touchy with her.” 
“She's my new girlfriend,” He used air quotes when he said the word girlfriend, “Gonna have to act like I’m head over heels for her to sell the act.” 
You knew he was right, he was saying the exact same things you told yourself whenever you tried to stop the ugly green monster that was envy from rearing its head. 
“Besides, don’t you think you kinda deserve it?” 
Your eyes widen, and you frown, “What? What do you mean?” Raphael shrugged, “I mean, you’re always tusslin’ and getting all up close with the other guys in the team,” His voice had a bitter edge to it, “I’m your boyfriend,” His hold on you strengthened, “It’s like I’m forced to watch you feel up all these other guys when the only ass you should be groping is mine.” 
“Do you hear how silly you sound right now?” You deadpanned, “It’s just guys being guys, most of us have been wrestling each other since we were kids.” 
He groans, “Ugh, but that doesn’t change that they still get to touch you so much!” 
You sigh, perhaps you and him weren’t so different after all. Not when both of you were so petty as to get jealous because of just, a really plain stupid reason. 
So you pat him on the back, and comfort him like you would a child throwing a tantrum. Till he stops whining, and you apologize to each other, then you continue to pretend that it doesn’t bother you when he presses a kiss to a girl’s lips, when he holds her hand, or even plays with her hair. 
And you pretend like he’s not playing with your heart. 
Yandere Spirit who you watch as he competes with his brother Gabriel over your younger sister, a popular junior who was vice-captain of the cheerleading team. Sometimes when he kisses you, you can’t help but think that this is the same tongue that flirts with your sister. 
Yandere Spirit who you accompany when his brother tells him to meet in the woods near Varenway cliff. Sure he was told to go alone, but you never trusted Gabe, he was always too intense for your liking. It was why he’d never be as popular as his brother. 
Yandere Spirit who you can only watch as he gets into a fight with his brother, held back by the stronger arms of Gabe’s football teammates who tease and mock you all while assuring Gabe won’t hurt Raphael too badly.
You thrash in their grip like a wild animal refusing to be caged, you kick at their feet, try to slam your head back into their stupid faces, but regardless of your attempts you are still stuck. 
“Let go of me, you assholes!” You practically spit. 
One of them, your classmate Sam Moss, sneers at you, then turns to his friend, who you recognize as Luke Herring, “Should we let [Name] go Luke?” 
Luke lets out a dumb laugh, “Huhuhu, naahh,” His tone is calm like an afternoon breeze, but his eyes are filled with only malice, “I don’t think we should Sam.” 
You click your tongue and tune out the rest of their words, they think they’re so intimidating just because they hang around Gabe, who nobody dares to pick a fight with, but they’re nothing more but tiny little pups who think the wolf’s shadow is their own. 
Instead you focus your gaze onto Raphael, who moves quicker than Gabe, but whenever a hit is able to land, it lands hard. Your heart clenches when you see the newly forming bruise above Raph’s brow, his busted lip, but you force yourself to remain silent. Raph can handle himself, and you hated to admit to it but Sam and Luke were right, Gabe may be dumb but he wasn’t that dumb to let Raph get seriously hurt. 
But still, for every hit that Raph gets in, Gabe lands another solid punch. Raph’s blood stains Gabe’s fists, and his beautiful face is marred. Gabe himself does not even need to catch his breath, the only evidence of exhaustion is a light sheen of sweat. 
You feel a sharp tug on your head, and you wince, Luke grabs your hair and has a look of anger on his face. 
“Little shit, fuckin’ pay attention to us damnit!” His spit flies in your face, and you grimace, “Should fuckin’ teach you a lesson for such disrespect.” 
Sam cackles like a hyena, “Ha! I don’t think Gabe would mind us roughin’ this arrogant prick up a bit,” In his eyes there is a hunger for violence, and you suppress the urge to shiver, you get what your mother means now when she says that men are like animals. You’ve never felt more like prey before now. 
You try to ignore them, and the fear that slowly builds in your chest, to get one last glimpse at Raph. But all you see is his head hanging low, and being grabbed by Gabe, whose bruised hands are curled tightly around his collar, before you are thrown down into the floor, and Luke gets on top of you. 
His sleeves are pulled back, and he draws back his fist for a punch, but before he can Sam who is still watching the fight, gasps, and Luke turns to see what has happened. Their eyes widen, but all you can hear that tells you of what just happened is a distant sickening crunch. 
Luke gets off of you and both he and Sam run to Gabe, who is looking down the cliff. Where is Raph? 
You get up, legs shaky for a bit before you steel your resolve and steady, you voice your thoughts, “Where's Raph?” 
When you get no response, the fear that was building from the fear of Luke getting his meaty hands on you is now growing from the possibility that Gabe let his anger get the best of him. At the thought of it, it is not only fear budding within you, but also anger. 
You march over to Gabe, and with strength you didn’t have before you grab him by the back of his collar and turn him around so you and him were now eye-to-eye, “Did you push him off, Gabriel?” Your voice is shaky, from fury, from anxiety, from both, you do not know. When you receive no response, you grit your teeth, and shake him violently, “Answer me, you bastard!” 
Gabriel’s eyes go wide, and his mouth parts but there are no words that leave his lips. But then he nods, and your sudden burst of strength fizzles away, and your hands let go of him. You walk, one step backward, another, and then another, and you fall on your own bottom, and your hands go to your head. Raph loved to do the same thing, hand going to the top of your head and holding it gently, sometimes just laying there together, his hand on your head and both of you quiet together.
You cannot let them see your tears, you cannot. But the dam breaks, and you start to sob. 
You hear them speak, Gabe, Sam, and Luke. However, you don’t want to listen to them. They killed him. Sam and Luke had less blood on their hands, but they were the ones who restrained you. If they didn’t then- Then maybe you could- You could… You don’t know. You don’t know, you don’t know. 
Gabe is standing in front of you, arms crossed, “Get up, [L/N],” His voice was gruff, nothing like Raph’s who always sounded like he was singing or speaking poetry, “Unless you want to end up like Raph did, you’ll do as I say.” Gabe was cruel too, nothing like Raph. 
Hesitantly, you get up, and wipe away the tears on your face. Sam and Luke who were looking at you like you were no better than the dirt on their shoe, now look at you with slight pity. It was no secret in school that you and Raphael were the best of friends, but they wouldn’t be looking at you so if they knew what you two were really like. 
You go down the cliff with them, traversing through the steep and rocky terrain. Till you arrived at the bottom, where Raph’s body lay. The blood had stopped flowing by then, or perhaps there was simply too much to look like there was more accumulating. Luke covers the bottom half of his face, Sam turns his head away, and only you and Gabe can look at the corpse. 
You glance at him, his face is like stone. You wonder if he regrets what he’s done tonight over your sister, but you can’t bring yourself to ask him without feeling like bile was going to start creeping up your throat. 
You help them carry the body deeper into the woods, Luke and Sam go to get the shovel Sam’s dad always kept in the back of his truck, and you are left with the boy who killed your lover. 
Both of you are silent, and your eyes go to look at his bruised knuckles stained with Raph’s blood. You must’ve been staring because he glares at you, “What? You wanna join Raph in his grave?” 
You know you should stay silent, but you’ve had enough of that. 
“It’d be better than having to bury him, that’s for sure,” You snarl out, you want to sock him across the face, but you’d have less impact than Raphael did, “You’re a monster.” 
“He got what was coming to him,” Gabriel clenched his fists, “If it wouldn’t be me, it may have been you.” 
You flinch, “The hell are you talking about Gabe?” You? Kill Raph? If that was meant to be a joke it wasn’t very funny. But Gabe had the same amount of charm as a donkey’s ass so it probably shouldn’t have surprised you.
“You think I’m blind, [L/N]?” A smirk forms on his face, it looks like Raphael's but at the same time it couldn’t be more different, “Everybody’s seen how you look at him and his girlfriends.” 
Your heart raced, did- Did he know? Did everybody know? If so, why weren’t you getting picked on? Raphael may have been the most popular guy in school, but even he would get harassed by some jerk. 
“You don’t get to chastise me for shit like this when you’re jealous of all the girls he gets,” At first you’re surprised he knows the word chastise, but when he accuses you of that, you laugh. You laugh like you would at a joke Raphael made, and when you realize that you start to cry. 
Gabe looks like he’s going to make fun of you, but thinks better of it when he sees the tears racing down your face and makes an expression of discomfort. 
Sam and Luke return, and by that time you’ve dried your tears. Gabe and Luke, the stronger ones, start to dig the grave, and Sam lights a cigarette. He hesitates, and then offers you one, a peace offering of sorts. 
You take it, even if you’ve never smoked before, and you cough as the smoke fills your lungs. 
“Sorry about Raphael,” He says, there is no cruelty, there is no mockery, only remorse for the blood that has been spilled, “Didn’t know him much, but I knew you two were close.” 
You take another puff, and you cough less this time, “It shouldn’t be you who’s apologizing,” You glare at Gabriel, who is digging his own twin brother’s grave. Sam follows your gaze, and he purses his lips, but then he nods.
You crush the cigarette under your shoe, and go to Raphael’s cold corpse. Your eyes scan over him, his eyes are open, the once vibrant green now hollow and empty. You close his eyes. Before you stand back up, you see a familiar glint of steel. The necklace he told you was gifted by his mother.
You take it off his neck, the cross dangling at the end gleaming even in the dark, then place it in your pocket.
Eventually Gabriel and Luke finish up, and you and Sam pick up Raphael’s body and then settle him gently into the grave. 
You take one last look at his face, burning it into your mind. He is beautiful even when his face is bloody and bruised. You want to weep again, your tears would wash away the filth from his face, but they would not bring him back. 
Yandere Spirit who invades your dreams every single night. He holds you close and what was once a warm embrace, is now a cold and stiff cage. Even if it is a dream you can smell the iron from the blood on his skin, and the earthy odor of the soil he was buried in. 
Yandere Spirit whose search you volunteer for. Even if it is only to avoid suspicion. You’re paired with Gabe and his younger brother Amos Jr., and the silence is filled with Junior’s ceaseless chatter. You pity the young boy, who shouldn’t have to search for his brother who he doesn’t even know is dead. 
When you go near the spot you buried Raph, your gaze immediately meets Gabe’s and a silent agreement goes between you two. Do not let Junior find the grave. 
But despite your best efforts, the boy does, and you can only watch while Gabe threatens him to keep his mouth shut. You're sick, and you haven’t eaten anything all day. You tell Gabe and Junior to go ahead, and then puke your guts out near Raph’s grave. 
You hold on to a tree, and sob. The taste of vomit, still on your tongue. The wind blows through your hair, it feels like Raph’s gentle caress. You swear you even hear his voice, whispering to you that it's all going to be okay, that he’ll make things better, that Gabe would pay for what he’s done. 
Time passes by. You attend Raphael’s funeral. You study, and go to your classes. You run, run faster than you’ve ever ran. You run faster than even Raph, who you’ve replaced as the track team captain. You wear his necklace every day, and you’d never take it off if you could help it. 
Sometimes you swear you hear him, whispering into your ear. Every night you feel like he’s holding you as well, but his touch is cold, yet it still brings you comfort after every nightmare where his bloody corpse stares at you from the shallow grave Gabe made for him. 
You start to isolate yourself, especially when the comforting touches become rough and possessive when you spend too much time with anybody else. You make small talk with your classmate? Ghostly fingers dig their nails into your skin. You roughhouse with your friends? Cold arms wrap themselves around your waist so tight you feel like it’s getting crushed. You get hit on by a girl? Suddenly she’s got a cold look in her eyes and leaves mid sentence. 
When you graduate, you don’t attend any parties, and you’re not invited to many other than the ones hosted by your track teammates. Gabe invites you to one, surprisingly, but when Raph wraps himself possessively around you, you know you’re not leaving the house tonight.
You don’t sleep that night either, not when Raph’s hands grope your bare flesh, sensitive against his cool touch. You swear you can see him, blood still staining his skin, his eyes are vacant but at the same time hazy with lust. He whimpers, and whines, panting into your ear.
  “Feels good.”
  “Nngh, sooo warm.” 
 “Need you, need you, need you.”
 “Love you, love you ‘s much.”
 “Never letting you go, n- ha.. not even death can separate us.” 
You feel dirty, like you’re being used. But you let him continue, you deserve this. Don’t you? You didn’t help him. You were too weak to help him. If only you were stronger, maybe it wouldn’t be his ghost on top of you right now but it’d be him in the flesh. Body just as warm as yours, a beautiful red flush on his sun kissed skin. You’d trace over every freckle, every small childhood scar, and hold him close to you till the sun rose.
But instead, your only company is the freezing form of Raph’s specter as he desperately clings to the comfort of your warmth, to feel alive again. And he’s never leaving you. 
“...You’re mine, mine, [Name],” His frigid whispers send a shiver down your spine, “You are mine even in death.”
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☏ - ᴠᴏɪᴄᴇᴍᴀɪʟ: ᴍʀ. ꜱᴀɢᴇ ᴡᴏᴜʟᴅ ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴛᴏ ʀᴇᴍɪɴᴅ ʏᴏᴜ ᴀʟʟ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ʀᴇQᴜᴇꜱᴛꜱ ᴀʀᴇ ᴏᴘᴇɴ, ɪꜰ ʏᴏᴜ'ᴅ ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴛᴏ ꜱᴇᴇ ᴍᴏʀᴇ ᴄᴏɴᴛᴇɴᴛ ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴛʜɪꜱ.
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astroboots · 10 months
Text
Every You Every Me #Issue 5
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COLLABORATED WITH @thirstworldproblemss
Pairing: Miguel O'Hara x female reader
Summary: You finally catch Spiderman in your bed and try to get answers to the many many questions you have.
Word count: 3,200 words.
Content: Awkward one bed shenanigans, teensy bits of angst
Series Masterlist | Spiderverse Masterlist | Astroboot’s Masterlist | thirstworldproblemss' Masterlist
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You wake to the glare of the morning sun spilling through the curtains.
Your first waking thought is that it. is. so. bright. God, why is it so fucking bright.
Your second thought is that you need to pee. 
There is no third. Because your bladder is killing you. 
There's just one not-so-small problem, and he's lying on top of you, in the same position he fell asleep in last night. Wrapped all around you, clinging on like you're a soft comfort blankie he refused to be weaned off of.
It's not... unpleasant, exactly (your need to pee aside).
For such a large man, being trapped underneath him is more comfortable than you might have expected. He's heavy, sure, but the pressure feels more like a weighted blanket with the way he's draped across your body, arms curled around your waist and back. 
It helps that the sheer size disparity means that you're too small of a surface area for his whole body to cover and most of his weight rests on the mattress. 
Rather than suffocating, it’s almost… cozy.
It must be really early in the morning, because your room is nearly silent. You can’t hear the familiar New York traffic. The noise of honking cars, angry shouting people and screaming cop sirens outside of your window. Instead, in the quiet of the morning the only noise you hear is the sound of his soft snoring against your collarbone.
Before today, you never knew superheroes snore. It’s not the sort of mundane thing you ever think about superheroes doing.
You stare up at him for a minute, soft skin and long lashes fluttering across his cheeks, marveling that he looks so... human. 
Which of course he does. The observation shouldn’t really surprise you. For all the fantastical mythos that surrounds them, at the end of the day, most superheroes are human beings. 
…Unless you're talking about Thor, of course, who’s an actual Viking God. And maybe not Hulk either, because... well... look at him. He’s all green and roided out, you don’t know what he is but he’s certainly not human. And then there’s– Okay, you know what, now that you actually think about it, a lot of superheroes are not human at all.
Maybe that’s why last night took you so much by surprise. You always thought they were invincible. You’d never guess that a slice of coffee cake could bring one down, collapsing as easily like a poorly built house of cards.  
Even more surprised when he’d held onto you, pleading for you to stay. 
When you see the Avengers plastered on the front cover of every newspaper, they look larger than life. When you see Captain America and his star-spangled shield sparkling in the centerfold of the Times, you never really stop to consider, what’s he like when the mask comes off.
In some abstract way, you were aware that superheroes have lives beyond just superheroing. You just never thought about the fact that a lot of them probably have families at home that they worry about. Friends that they care for. People they miss. 
Nena
He'd said.
The person he mistook you for last night.
Something squeezes uncomfortably tight in your chest just remembering the tone in his voice when he said it.
Something is going on here. It's clear to you now even more so than before, that this man doesn’t just keep saving you out of sheer coincidence. There’s a mystery here that’s all tied together in an interconnected web somehow and you're pretty sure it has to do with this Nena person. She is most likely the answer to why your whole life has been upended in the last few months. 
You need to find out what is going on and now that he's physically here, right in front of you, as soon as he wakes you can finally ask him and get some answers that are long overdue. 
You just really need to fucking pee first.
Gingerly, you wedge an arm between your chest and his. You attempt to slowly and carefully pry open the stranglehold he has on you, hoping to scoot up and out of his arms.
He grunts in reply, still soundly asleep, and his arms tighten their hold on you, pulling you back into him as he burrows his face into your chest.
"Five more minutes," he grumbles, voice raspy with sleep. "Nena, it's too early."
There it is again, that nickname. You freeze, holding as still as possible, feeling your heart skip a beat at the tone of his voice as he said it. It’s said with so much fondness and hints at so much familiarity each time he has said it. 
You don't know what you're meant to do in this situation. Except you clearly can’t let him go on thinking you’re… whoever it is that he thinks you are for much longer.
There are the muddy moral implications of allowing this to go on any further after all, considering that the man probably has no idea where he is after you practically roofied him with baked goods.
You also still really need to go pee already.
He shifts against you, one thick, heavy thigh wrapping over your leg and pulling you in further before coming to a rest directly on top of your bladder. Okay, fuck, you take back what you said about this not being unpleasant. This is really, really unpleasant. 
You need him to get up now. 
Forcing your hand free, you reach up to give him a polite tap on the shoulder. When polite doesn’t get you any results, you do it harder, three successive taps, and he still doesn’t even stir. You keep tapping, progressively harder until you’re punching him hard enough that any normal person would be yelping in pain and begging you to stop. 
He groans once, arms shifting to secure his hold on you. For a moment you think he’s going to ask for another ‘five minutes,’ but then the whole of his body goes stiff, every muscle suddenly rigid with tension. A suspended silence permeates the space, and you find yourself holding your breath unsure of what to do next. The silence is broken by the sound of your bedsheets shifting, and you feel the firm hold around your waist ease off, his arms and legs retreating from your body. 
He's up and out of bed in one smooth move, almost faster than you can follow. By the time you struggle upright in bed (much less gracefully) he's already standing a few feet away, hands fisted at his sides. 
“Sorry,” he says, looking at you and then off to the side like he can’t quite bring himself to meet your eyes, a bright flush burning high on his cheeks, “I… uh… I thought you were someone else."
His hulking frame towers over your bed, but he’s acting like a sulky, embarrassed little boy. The contrast should be absurd, but instead you find it… strangely endearing. Apparently even a high and mighty superhero can be brought low by an awkward situation, just like everyone else.
"It's okay. You didn't... um... do anything weird or anything," you say, trying to reassure him, but you can't concentrate on your words when your bladder is screaming bloody murder, "Look, can you give me a second? Just– shit. Just stay right there, okay? I’ll be right back. Don’t go anywhere!" you admonish him, throwing the words over your shoulder as you rush past him and into the bathroom
You nearly break your tailbone with how fast you sit down on the toilet seat, hoping to get your business done as quickly as possible and praying the whole 15 seconds that you’re gone that he won’t make a break for it and still be there when you get back. 
Thankfully, when you nearly tear the bathroom door from its hinges, he is.
The first sight that greets you is his broad and defined back framed by the amber light pouring in from your window frame. It makes for a dramatic image. Golden and majestic, he seems to occupy half the space in your tiny apartment as he stands turned away from you, apparently taking in the view from your one and only window. 
The first thing he says to you as he opens your mouth is not, ‘good morning.’ There's no ‘sorry for almost drunkenly smothering you to death last night,’ ‘how did you sleep with my hulk sized body on top of you’ or even a 'thanks for letting me sleep on your bed.' 
No. Rude, knock off, maybe-vampire Spiderman, who still hasn't told you his name, slowly turns back towards you and takes one look at your face. Then he says, "I have to go."
Which, of course that’s what he’d say and do. Of course. You’re nearly growling with frustration as you run up to him.   
"Wait!" you shout, darting around to block his path as you try to lead him back further into your apartment. "Do you want some breakfast?" 
You still don't know him very well yet, but your few interactions so far have shown you that the way to break through his grumpy defenses is through his stomach.
"I can fix you up something. I’ve got some eggs in the fridge, and I can do scrambled or fried. Maybe over-easy, though I sometimes mess up the timing.” 
You’re rambling on purpose. Speaking as fast as you can, as you continue to pull him towards your kitchen. You’re making sure he can’t get a word in edgewise, so that he doesn’t have a chance to protest before the food is in his stomach, and by then he’ll surely eat the whole thing before he starts getting sassy with you again. By then you’ll hopefully be able to sneak in one or two questions between mouthfuls. 
He shakes his head, "No, I–I have to go... I wasn't supposed to..."
Not a fan of eggs, you note. It makes sense, so far the only thing you've ever seen him eat is baked goods, probably has a sweet tooth.
"I could make you pancakes? I won't even put coffee in them, I promise," you tease gently, hoping the humor might pull a smile from him.
It doesn't. If anything, his eyes look even sadder.
He stops mid-step, and no matter how much of your weight you put in trying to herd and push him towards your kitchen, he won’t budge an inch. You’d have more success moving a bull by its horns, and considering he’s bigger built than one, that tracks. 
There’s no strain in his features, as he stays still, resistant to your efforts. "This is a mistake,” he says. “I should never have gotten involved."
He's moving again, this time away from you, stepping towards the window. Shit, he's going to make a run for it.
In the course of the last 24 hours you've managed to leap off the Chrysler building; poison the superhero standing in front of you; slept with him in the same bed; and yet somehow, through all of this, you still haven't managed to do the one thing you actually wanted: have a simple conversation with him.
"Wait, wait!" you shout out, panicky. "Can we just talk for a second? I really need to talk to you. I just want some answers.”
"I don't have any answers for you," he says. 
He's turned his back again, one hand on the window sill as he's preparing to climb onto it. If you let him leap off it now, you don’t know when your next chance will be to catch him again. 
"I'm not going to stop trying," you shout out in a last desperate attempt and that finally stops him in his tracks. 
“I’m gonna be leaving,” he says with a finality in his words. 
It doesn’t stop you though, doesn’t even discourage you. He might be stubborn, but you can give him a run for his money, because this is your life on the line.  
“Then I’ll run after you. I’ll keep chasing after you. I'll keep asking, and asking, and asking. I'm not going to stop until you give me some answers."
There’s a silence between you again. Then he straightens his posture, and turns his head just far enough that you can catch his eyes. Whatever uncertainty was there before fades away as you see the resolve in his eyes harden.
"You're never going to see me again."
There's an ugly noise. A scratch over the vinyl of a record screeching in your brain that makes you unable to comprehend his words. You have to replay them in your mind, parsing them out, before you realize what he's actually telling you.
“Wait, what do you mean never see you again!?” you step forward towards the window sill, and he visibly retreats at your advance. “As in, you're going to back to avoiding me? It’s kind of late for that, isn't it? I've seen your face... twice. We’ve slept together!"
"No," he answers brusquely, brows pulled in at a sharp angle. “I'm leaving the… area. I'm not going to be around anymore."
“But you’ll be back… right?” you ask. Some corner of your brain refuses to accept what you think he’s telling you. 
With a graceful movement, he leaps back down from the window sill, taking a step forward and leaning in until he’s looming over you, his face inches from your own. 
“No,” he repeats, emphasizing the word.
Oh… 
His words finally click. It took a few attempts for the stubborn gear in your brain to unjam, but you finally hear what he’s been trying repeatedly to tell you.
He’s leaving for good. He’s not coming back. 
You… You don’t know how you feel. Your cheeks are strangely numb. Somehow the idea that he might not be around indefinitely had never occurred to you. You’ve grown accustomed to the safe haven he’s provided. Come to rely on him and the familiar safety of his shadow lurking around every corner, the blurred blue and red rescuing you from this crazy world trying to kill you. 
A flash of cold sweat breaks out along your back. His presence is your only anchor to safety. If he’s not here… 
"But– but– if you leave…” You trail off, barely able to imagine it.
All the near-misses flash through your mind. The taco truck stampeding through the city, the subway train barrelling towards you, construction sites crashing down right above your head. So many deaths held at bay by the one man in front of you, and if he leaves… If he’s gone…
You can barely choke out the next words, your voice a strangled whisper, “...what’s going to happen to me?”
A flash of anguish breaks through his stony features before he turns away, dropping his gaze to his feet. Pained sadness bleeds into those crimson eyes, something that speaks of guilt, loss and defeat. 
"I’m sorry," he says quietly, "I can't save you. I never could. Nothing can."
And what can you say to that? You can’t force him to do more for you than he already has. He’s done a lot—much more than anyone has to, superhero or not, and you know that—and it’s selfish of you to ask more.
You swallow down the anxiety crawling up your throat and it tastes like burnt bile. 
Anyone would be lucky to have a superhero save them from certain death even once in their lifetime, and somehow you've been blessed with more times than you can count. 
In fact, you’ve been spoiled rotten, managing to escape death so many times that you've grown almost… complacent about it. Expecting him to rescue you, when really you've been living on borrowed time for months now, winning one lottery ticket after another. You've had more extra time than anyone could ever wish for.
In front of you, you see him moving again. If you let him go like this, then this is it. This is where it all ends. Without him, it’s only a matter of time before death catches up with you again—for good this time.
You shake your head, refusing the defeat. It may be selfish, greedy even, but this is your life and you can’t let it end here.
You don’t want to die. You made a promise to yourself when you fell out of the Chrysler building for the first time. 
You want to live. You want to live. You want to live. 
"Wait! Please..." You grab onto his hand, and even though you have no doubt he could break free from your desperate grip with very little effort, he stops for you.
"I don't know what's going on! Every day I walk out that door, and almost die again and again and again. I'm scared and confused, and it seems like the universe is hellbent on killing me, and you're the only clue I've got as to why. The only reason I'm still alive is because you keep saving me. I know that it’s selfish to ask you this, because you don’t owe me anything. But…” 
You pause, drawing in a deep breath, and say the words with your whole chest, “I want to live!”
He doesn’t quite flinch, but the hand at his side twitches and then he’s reaching up to you. So close, you can almost feel his knuckles grace the side of your cheek. Then he stops, a fraction of an inch from your face. 
He tilts his head to the side, like he’s listening to something you can’t hear.
Must be some other emergency your unfriendly neighborhood Spider-man needs to be on his way to. You try to push down the unexpected envy boiling in your stomach at the thought. 
Although… now that you’re listening, you can hear something too. Something like the low hum of a helicopter, growing louder all the time. 
Must be a police chopper. Traffic ‘copters aren’t allowed to fly so low.
Abruptly, the light flees your apartment. Shadow sweeps across your window and covers everything in pitched darkness. 
A blackout? But it's morning, even if the power went out, the sun should still be–
You feel it before you see it in the dark, a tight grip on your wrist pulling you. His arm slams across your waist, yanking you backwards.
The world lurches around you, receding with a deafening roar of collapsing concrete and shrieking metal. The last thing you see is the wall of your apartment disappearing in a cloud of dust and twisted metal.
Your stomach drops sickeningly. Bright light flashes across your vision in intense rainbow-colored bursts. Pink. Red. Green. Blue. You have to close your eyes as wind whips mercilessly against your cheeks, loud impossible roaring in your ears.
Is this death? Somehow you thought it would be quieter. Calm.
Still.
And then it is. Everything stops, and when you finally dare open your eyes again, there’s…
Nothing.
~ Next Issue
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Dedication & Credits: To my lovely collaborator @thirstworldproblemss who is always staying up brainstorming with me, listen to my insane ramblings, plotting each scene in the outlines and helping me beta and edit and even rewrite large chunks of paragraphs I'm unhappy with til the very last minute. Truly my favorite person in all of the lands. I love you!!
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desertduality · 4 months
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Scar-centric sickfic for @stiffyck !!
Scar is feeling under the weather and his redstone handyman takes matters into his own hands <3
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It’s just Scar’s luck, getting sick right when all his most exciting ideas start forming in his mind. He doesn’t want to be in bed, he wants to be productive. Most of the resources for his next big thing have already been gathered — all he has left to do is build it. He had been so ready.
He denies it, at first. When he wakes up with a sore throat, he convinces himself it’s just a fluke. When his nose goes on strike against breathing, he puts it down to allergies. When he wakes up shivering and sweating, he pretends it’s just because of nightmares he doesn’t remember.
It gets a little harder to lie to himself when he passes out in a flower bed in the middle of Scarland.
He regains consciousness soon after, but somehow he feels a million times worse. His entire body aches, his mouth is dry, and his head is throbbing. A low whine escapes him as he lies there, finally forced to accept the terrible reality of things. 
He’s sick. He’s sick and lying flat on his face on a bed of flowers, trying to wade through the fog in his head enough to think about what he should do next. ‘Stand up’ is probably the correct answer to that query, but he finds that he’s really not sure if he can manage it. His skin feels hot and cold at the same time. His thoughts feel sluggish and slow. In his mind, his bed is thousands of miles away through a gauntlet of rough terrain. The two minutes it would take to walk there sound impossible. 
He finds the will to roll over onto his back, and he squints blearily at the sky. Cloudy. He hopes it doesn’t rain, that would really make this whole situation look more pathetic than it already does. 
Scar lies there for a few long minutes, breathing through shaky lungs and occasionally shivering violently against the ground. All things considered, it could be worse. He could’ve passed out on the trolley tracks.
He is almost asleep again by the time Impulse finds him, apparently in the park to attend to redstone issues. His shadow falls across Scar’s face, and he opens eyes he hadn’t been aware of closing, making a soft noise of pain as his head throbs in complaint. He’s so tired, all of the sudden. 
“Scar?” Impulse sounds like he’s waffling between concern and amusement, standing there in his employee uniform with an uncertain smile on his face. “I know it’s called a flower bed, buddy, but it’s not for sleeping.”
It takes Scar a few long seconds to process that statement, and then he laughs weakly. He tries to smile, but it feels more like a grimace. 
“I didn’t do it on purpose,” Scar says, and inwardly winces at how hoarse and broken his voice sounds. He clears his throat, but it doesn’t help much. “I think I might be just— just a little bit sick.”
“Did you pass out?” Impulse looks fully worried now, kneeling down at his side and visibly scanning him for injuries. 
“Only a little bit,” Scar answers, and he giggles, feeling a bit delirious. “It’s actually kind of comfortable, you know. You should try it sometime.”
The dwarf frowns at him, a concerned pinch at the corner of his eyes as he reaches out. Scar goes crosseyed as he follows the other’s hand until it comes to a rest on his forehead. He feels a spark of concern.
“Your hands are really cold,” Scar says, brow furrowed. “Do you need gloves? I can make gloves.”
“No, Scar, you’re burning up,” Impulse says, withdrawing his hand slowly. “How long have you been feeling bad?”
“I dunno.” Scar shrugs, and feels the flowers beneath him shift with the motion. His eyelids droop. “I wasn’t really…paying attention.”
Impulse sighs, the corner of his mouth quirking upwards in helpless amusement. Scar yawns, and starts drifting. The flowers really aren’t all that uncomfortable. Impulse makes a muffled noise of urgency, tapping him on the arm to keep him awake. Scar whines in protest, forcing his eyes open again. 
“Why’re you…being mean?” Scar asks, glaring. He’s not sure how effective it is, given the state of him. 
“You can’t sleep here, Scar. Mobs will get you,” Impulse says, and then he huffs, stubborn determination sparking in his eyes. “Come on, I’m taking you to bed.”
“Woah, Impulse,” Scar says, teasing. “Take a guy to dinner first.”
Impulse just rolls his eyes and snorts, reaching down. He takes him gently by the shoulders and helps Scar sit up, pausing to let him cough when the abrupt change of position aggravates his lungs. Scar tips over to rest his burning head on Impulse’s shoulder, taking a moment to breathe. He’s so tired. 
“Is it okay if I carry you?” Impulse asks, rubbing comforting circles on his back. 
Scar nods. “Please.”
Impulse hauls him easily off the ground with all the strength that hours of mining and building gets you, and Scar feels a little bit dizzy for a few seconds, closing his eyes tightly and tucking his face against Impulse’s shoulder. He feels like his head is stuffed with cotton. 
Impulse carries him with an arm beneath his knees and one against his back, steady and sure enough that it doesn’t even cross Scar’s mind to worry he’ll be dropped. It’s like getting a hug while on the move, and Scar sighs, closing his eyes and letting himself relax. It’s nice. 
He must doze off, because the next thing he becomes aware of is being set down in his own bed. Scar clutches at Impulse’s shirt, disoriented and a little bit panicked. He doesn’t want to be alone. He’s suddenly terrified that Impulse will leave. 
“Wait,” Scar says, voice breaking against his aching vocal chords. He blinks watery eyes up at the blurry form of his friend. “Stay?”
Impulse’s face softens, clear fondness and care shining in his eyes, and he brushes Scar’s hair back from his sweaty face. 
“Okay,” he says, quiet and calm. “I’m not going anywhere. I’ll be here when you wake up.”
Satisfied with that, Scar releases his death grip on Impulse’s shirt with a breath of relief. The mattress creaks as Impulse takes his weight off of it, and Scar blinks sluggishly as he watches the dwarf pull up a chair. Content, he falls asleep before he even sees him sit down. 
———————
When Scar wakes up in the morning, the first thing he’s aware of is the sound of voices. Two of them. He opens his eyes with a quiet groan, swallowing against the dryness of his mouth and sniffling against the blockage of his nose. His head still hurts, but it’s more of a dull ache, now. He’s covered in sweat, and he frowns at the ceiling. Then he remembers the voices, and cranes his head to look for them. 
Impulse’s chair is empty, but he’s standing right behind it, talking with Gem. Her curly red hair is pulled back in a braid, and Scar feels a bit of envy. His own hair is laying loose around him, tangled with sleep. 
Gem is holding a bowl of soup, steam gently rising from it. Scar doesn’t really feel hungry, but he does feel chilled. Maybe soup would warm him up. 
“Is that for me?” Scar asks, and then frowns at how thin his voice sounds. He coughs pointedly, trying to clear the disgusting film from his throat. 
“Scar!” Gem exclaims, shoving past Impulse in her haste to get to the bed. Her eyes are sparkling with joy that he’s awake, and Scar manages a small smile. “Yes, it’s for you! Impulse said you were sick, and I thought— Well, we are the soup group, I thought some soup might help you feel better.”
“I think it might,” Scar says, fondness warming his chest. “I dunno if I’ll be able to finish it, but it looks too tasty to go to waste.”
Gem giggles, eyes softening, and then her gaze catches on his hair. “Hey, where’s your brush?” she asks, tilting her head with a grin. “We’ve gotta get that out of your face.”
He tells her where his brush might be, and his fellow elf rushes off to find it, leaving the soup on his bedside table. Impulse helps him sit up and gets him some water, watching like a hawk to make sure he doesn’t choke on it, and then Scar makes grabby hands at the soup. Impulse laughs softly, but hands it to him, making sure it’s got a stable home in his lap before pulling away. 
Gem comes back a minute later with a brush and several hair ties in her hands, a determined look on her face, and she sets to fixing Scar’s hair while he eats the soup. She brushes it back from his face and then braids it into several intricate braids, all culminating into one big one. It makes him feel better than he was expecting, the stress of having it tangled lifted from his mind. Now he won’t have to worry about it for a while. 
Scar reaches back and runs his fingers over it lightly, then cranes his head to smile at Gem over his shoulder. “Thank you.” 
Gem smiles back, easy and soft.
She leaves a little while later, making him promise to let her know if he needs anything, and Scar lays back down, exhausted again. He huffs in frustration at his heavy eyelids, and Impulse chuckles off to the side. 
“You can sleep, Scar. You need it,” Impulse says, and then, just like last time: “I’ll be here when you wake up.”
And he is. He’s there with water when Scar wakes up coughing. He’s there with a cool rag when his fever spikes. He’s there with gentle reassurances as Scar deliriously begs him not to leave. 
And when Scar’s fever finally breaks two days later, he’s still there, a steady and sure presence through it all. 
“You deserve a raise,” Scar says, eating soup like a starving man, his appetite finally returned. “Whatever I’m paying you, I’ll double it.”
Impulse laughs and shakes his head, fiddling with the little redstone component he’s been working on. 
“We’re friends, Scar,” Impulse says, smiling at him. “It’s on the house.”
“…Are you sure you don’t want a tip?” 
“Only if it’s a VIP ticket to Scarland when it opens.”
Scar scowls. “I was already going to do that!”
Impulse laughs. “I really don’t need anything!” he insists, and his laugh softens into a smile. “I wanted to.” 
“Oh,” Scar says dumbly, a new burst of warmth and happiness making a home in his chest. He really does have the best friends. “Okay.”
When the sun rises the next day, Scar finally feels able to walk again, and Impulse helps him fix the flattened flowers near the entrance. When all is said and done, they look even better than they did before.
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Exactly what it's meant to say
Written for the @steddieholidaydrabbles, day 28
Prompt: Proposal
Rated: G
CW: none
Tags: Established relationship; Moving in together; Fluff; Marriage proposal
Notes: Contiued from days 5 and 25
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Eddie is up on the roof when Steve pulls into the driveway. His first thought is that the rain pipe must be leaking again, but then he sees the giant letters his boyfriend is wrestling into submission on the snow-covered roof and sighs. 
"Eds?" he calls out as he gets from the car. Eddie yelps and almost slips and Steve has a brief mental image of spending Christmas Eve at the emergency room. "I thought we agreed to not put them up this year?" 
He wasn't even sure which of the many unopened boxes they were in - just knew that Eddie had not-so-sneakily grabbed all of the old Christmas decorations from the house in Loch Nora on the day Steve moved out. Not that Steve minded. His parents haven't been home for the holidays in forever, it's not like they'll miss the stuff. 
"Okay, I know, but listen!" Eddie flashes him a toothy grin as he skids down the roof and to the ladder that's leaning against the wall. Steve watches him, hip popped against the side of the car, as he comes wading towards him in the fresh layer of snow. "I know we said we'd skip it this year, what with still getting settled and stuff, but I was unpacking some of the boxes earlier, and I found the letters, and I just had to put them up. It's our little tradition, Stevie. Would be bad luck not to observe it in our first year in the new place." 
He has drifted into Steve’s space and put his hands in his coat pockets to pull him closer, all disarming, dimpled smile and large brown eyes. Steve hums in mock-annoyance as Eddie leans in to steal a kiss. 
"So does it actually say what it's supposed to this year?" 
Eddie cocks his head at him. 
"I have no idea what you-" 
"Eds?" Steve quirks an eyebrow and Eddie falls silent. 
Because, yes, the letters have become a bit of a tradition ever since their first Christmas together, and Steve would be lying if he said they don’t make him feel all warm and fuzzy. 
Another tradition is that they never actually spell the right thing. 
And while the MERRY SMAX sparkling from the roof of the Harrington house for all the neighborhood to see in the first year was still an accident, Eddie has since embarked on a mission to outdo himself with increasingly absurd creations.
Steve still fondly remembers SEXY MARRM, ARSEY MR XM, and - last year's zinger - SMARMY REX.
And judging by the entirely too innocent grin gracing Eddie’s face now, he's in for another treat. 
"Eddie?" he tries again, one hand coming up to pinch the bridge of his nose. "What is it this year?" 
"Dunno what you mean, baby," Eddie singsongs, and prances over to the switch for the outdoor power supply like a particularly merry Christmas elf. Steve can't quite conceal his fond grin as he is tugged along. "It says exactly what it's supposed to say. How about you do the honors?" 
Steve rolls his eyes but obediently pushes the switch. The letters flicker to life, casting the snowy front yard in a haze of sparkling white. Steve can't see the roof from where they're standing, so he takes a few steps down the driveway. Eddie hovers by his shoulder, suddenly tense and silent, and oh God, what has he done now?
"Eddie," he starts, "I swear, if I have to explain to the neighbors why our roof says stuff about axes, I'll-" 
And then he stops. 
Steve feels how his mouth drops open and how his eyes bulge, and he's faintly aware that he must look like a complete idiot, but he's powerless to do anything about it. 
Because he has just turned and now he sees what the words say. 
Because Eddie has actually left out some of the letters this time and he has no idea what he was expecting, but it certainly wasn't this.
Because every single bit of mental capacity is focused on playing the words sparkling down at him on repeat in his head. 
MARRY ME
"See?" Eddie has stepped up beside him and taken his limp hand to entangle their fingers, but his voice is hesitant all of a sudden. When Steve manages to turn his head, those dark, pretty eyes are refusing to meet his, pointedly trained on the roof instead. "Exactly what it's meant to say." 
Steve gapes at him. Eddie cringes and pulls a strand of hair in front of his face with his free hand. The other is trembling around Steve's fingers. 
"So, I know we can't really," he mumbles. "Like, legally or shit. But … you've literally pulled me from hell and I know it sounds totally cheesy, but it feels like you skipped boring old Earth and dragged me straight on into heaven and I totally would, if I could. Marry you, I mean. So if it's cool with you, I'll get you a ring or something, promise to stick with you forever, all that lame-ass stuff."
Steve stares. Swallows, tries to speak, but no words come out. Eddie sighs.
"And if it isn't, that's also fine. I just … wanted to put it out there, y'know. Like, literally. I'm sorry, I'll… I'll just take these down." 
And Steve still can't talk, isn't sure when he'll be able to again. But he also doesn’t need to. Because what he can do is tighten his grip on Eddie’s hand as it threatens to slip from his. 
What he can do is pull him back in, body against body and sling an arm around his waist to keep him from getting away. 
What he can do is crash their mouths together in a kiss so searing he's surprised the snow doesn't melt all around them. 
What he can do is hope that this will be enough of an answer. 
From the way Eddie grins against his lips, it is.
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All my holiday drabbles
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vodika-vibes · 3 months
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Did You Know? - A Request from @wax-birds
Summary: You've been the Batch's medic since well before the Jedi Purge happens, and it just made sense to stick with them when they defected. Recently, Tech's been going out of his way to tell you random facts, and at first you were confused, but you're starting to understand what his game is.
Pairing: TBB Tech x F!Reader
Word Count: 1618
Warnings: None
Tagging: @trixie2023 @n0vqni
A/N: I hope this is close to what you wanted. I made up the planet, but I think the bird is an actual thing in the Star Wars verse...I didn't actually do any research, lol.
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“Did you know,” You lift your gaze from your datapad to look at Tech, who’s standing awkwardly in the door to your area of the marauder, “the Morai birds mate for life and should their mate pass they remain in the nest waiting for them to return.”
“I…was not aware of that.” You say, “I also didn’t know that you were interested in the mating practices of birds.”
“Ah, well,” He nervously rubs the back of his neck, “I am interested in a wide range of topics.”
Amusement lifts your lips into a smile, “And your fixation for the week is birds?” You tease very gently.
“They are very brightly colored.” Tech offers, “And are native to the planet we are about to visit.” He hesitates, “And I remembered that you have a Morai tattoo.”
“Aww, Tech.” You clasp your hands under your chin, “You’re sweet, learning things about my favorite animals simply because they’re my favorite.”
“I…well, not solely for you. Omega had questions-”
“I DID NOT!” Omega shouts from the next room.
Tech ignores her with the long practice of an older brother, “And then I remembered your tattoo-”
Omega appears next to him, her face is scrunched up, “Stop lying! You looked that stuff up specifically-mmph!” Tech slaps his hand over Omega’s mouth, stopping her from talking.
“Thank you, Omega.”
Your gaze flickers from the annoyed preteen, to Tech, and then back again. “Well then, if neither of you are injured, I need to get back to work.”
Omega pulls Tech’s hand away from her mouth, “Tech just hit me!”
“I did no such thing.”
“I have bruises!”
“You do not.”
“I want you to arrest him!” Omega declares dramatically as she points at her brother.
“I’m a medic, Meg, not a cop.” You reply with a small grin, “You want someone to punish him for hitting you, go to Hunter.”
“Maybe I will!” Omega says loudly, before she rounds on her heel, “Hunter!”
“Why would you tell her that?” Tech asks with a sigh.
You wink at him, “Well, if you get hurt, it means that you get one on one attention, doesn’t that sound fun?”
Tech averts his eyes, but a small smile lifts the corner of his lips, “I suppose it does not sound…awful.” He finally says as he catches your gaze, for a moment, just a moment, there’s something hot and needy in his gaze, before it’s quickly banked, and he turns away from you. “I will leave you to your work. We will be landing on Mora in three days.”
You know your eyes weren’t playing tricks on you. You know what you saw. And you are very, very interested.
And so you flash a small smile, even as a plan starts forming in your mind, “I’ll be ready.”
Tech glances at you one more time, and then slips out of your workspace just as Hunter shouts for him, and you muffle your laugh. Sometimes, a lot of times, the men you travel with are so obviously brothers that it’s hilarious.
In fact, you’re pretty sure you heard Echo and Wrecker arguing over Wrecker stealing some of Echo’s snacks only a little bit ago.
Still, you wouldn’t trade this job for any other medical career in the galaxy.
After all, where else would an incredibly handsome man flirt with you using bird facts?
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Three days later, the Marauder lands on Mora, and you, with your medical kit slung over your shoulder, and your camera in hand, couldn’t be more excited.
“Alright,” Hunter says, getting everyone’s attention. “It looks like we have five different places we need to visit.”
“It’ll be faster if we split up,” You offer reasonably, “Using the buddy system, of course.” You add once you see the look on Hunter’s face. “And naturally, I won’t be paired off with Omega, since we’re both harmless.”
“I have a crossbow,” Omega reminds you with a pout.
“Ah, right. My mistake.”
“So that means you’re the only one here who’s harmless.” Echo teases as he bumps you with his shoulder.
“Yeah, well…before all else, do no harm, etc, etc-” You reply with a grin, as you bump him right back.
“Anyway,” Hunter interrupts, “Splitting up and using the buddy system isn’t a terrible idea. I’ll go with Omega. Tech-”
“I do not mind going with the doctor,” He interrupts, “As I understand, one of these locations has medical equipment she needs to inspect.”
Hunter looks at him, disbelievingly. 
“It’s not a bad idea,” You offer cheerfully, “If anything is broken, I might not notice right away.”
Hunter turns his disbelieving gaze on you next, and you just beam at him. 
“Fine. Tech and the Doc are going together. Which leaves Echo and Wrecker.” Hunter says, “Any complaints? Good. Omega, come on.”
You grin as the other groups walk off in different directions, and then you turn your gaze on Tech, who’s watching you with a small smile on his lips, “Shall we?” You ask.
“It should not take that long to get the equipment that we need.” He agrees, as he turns in the direction of the shop, and then waits for you to fall into step next to him. 
“It shouldn’t,” You agree, “The longest part will really be you making sure that the equipment looks like it’s in working order.” 
He glances at you, “You really would not be able to determine if the gear was in working order?”
“Of course I’d be able to tell. I just wanted to spend time with you.” You reply with an unrepentant grin.
“O-oh.”
You cheerfully take his hand in yours and you lace your fingers with his, “Anyway, once we have the stuff delivered to the ship, we can look around on our own. I need a new jacket.”
Tech is staring at your joined hands, as if he’s not sure what to make of it, and then he slowly squeezes your hand, and is rewarded with a blinding grin. The moment he realizes that it’s intentional, some of the nervous tension drains from him. “Is there something wrong with your jacket?”
“Well…no. Not really.” You shrug, “It just doesn’t match.”
“...What does it not match?”
You sigh, “You and your brothers. My leather jacket is white! It needs to be darker so I actually look like I belong.”
“You do belong.” Tech says, “You are the most important member of the squad.”
“We both know that’s not true.” You say with a laugh.
“It is true,” Tech insists, “We would be lost several times over without you.”
“Aww, you’re sweet.”
“I am honest.” Tech replies, “You have saved all of our lives on many occasions. We owe you everything.” He pauses, “And I prefer it when you wear white. It makes it easier to see you on the battlefield.”
“That’s not necessarily a good thing.” You point out as the pair of you come to a stop in front of the shop that’s holding the medical equipment that you need to look at.
Tech doesn’t reply right away as he enters the shop, “I think you look nice in white.” He finally says and then he turns his attention towards the shopkeeper and offers the name on the order.
Inspecting the machines takes a lot longer than you would prefer. A lot longer than Tech would prefer too, based on the look on his face, but there’s no way around it. Cid would have your heads if any of the machines were damaged in any way.
But finally, finally, you’re able to confirm the delivery, and you slump against Tech, exhausted. “This is the worst job ever.” You whine.
Tech glances at you, “Well, we are done now.”
“Until Cid gives us another job.” You grumble, and then you lay your cheek against his shoulder, “We used to fight for the good of the Republic, this work is demeaning.”
“But Cid does pay us,” Tech reminds you quietly, “Which is what we need.”
You hum thoughtfully, “Yeah, I guess.”
You take his hand again, and then tug him away from the shop. “Where are we going?” Tech asks, though he doesn’t seem to have any problems with trailing after you.
You just grin at him, and tug him down an alley. “I wanted to go somewhere private.” You reply once you’re not surrounded by people.
“For what purpose?” Tech asks.
“For this one.” You stand on your toes and brush your lips against his, before you pull away, “I don’t know if maybe I’m misreading things-” You murmur, though you’re not able to finish your sentence, as he tugs you against him and crashes his lips against yours. 
One of his hands slides up into your hair, while the other tightly grips your hips, pulling you as close as he can. And when he breaks the kiss, his lips hovering just over yours, you can’t help but grin, “I take it I wasn’t misreading then?” You ask.
“I do not think you ever have.” Tech admits.
“Go me,” Your smile is soft and warm, “Hey, Tech?”
“Hm?”
“Did you know that I think about you all the time?” He blinks at you, startled, “And that I would be really, really happy if you loved me as much as I love you?”
“And here I thought that I was being obvious.” Tech murmurs, before he kisses you again and again, “Of course I feel the same way. Or else I would not be kissing you.”
You grin and lightly kiss him again.
“Did you know,” Tech says quietly, “That I think about you all of the time too?”
At that a bubbly laugh falls from your lips, “I do now.”
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ayanominitrash · 5 months
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cross my mind - Gojo x reader
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When a cute girl riding her bike in Jujutsu High strolls past Satoru, he almost breaks his neck trying to follow the fleeting figure.
He had to blink twice behind his blindfold to make sure he wasn't just seeing things. He's spent nearly half of his life in the Jujutsu High Tokyo Branch, and he's certain that it's his first time seeing a stranger. Could it be a student from the Kyoto Branch? He wasn't informed of any transferees or visitors. Well, he might have been slacking off and not attending the faculty meetings nowadays, but still. Someone must've not inform him. The tall man thinks he'll give his assistant, Ijichi, a slap later if this turns out to be true.
He stands there for a few seconds, wondering if he should ask her questions, but then again, it might have been just his imagination. Plus, he's already running late to meet his students for a mission.
He carries on his way and exits the campus.
Satoru doesn't even remember that encounter happening until he sees the same girl on the bike again when he comes back from the mission. She was just about to leave the school gates when Satoru put a large hand up to stop her.
"Woah, woah. Excuse me," he says in a firm voice, "but you can't be riding a bike here. Also, are you lost?"
You skid to a stop beside him, planting your sneaker-clad feet on either side of your blue bike. Up close, Satoru can see you clearly and confirms his initial thought of this stranger being cute, especially with how your short-sleeved pastel blue summer dress flows in the breeze, the ends of the skirt slightly riding up past your knees. and the white collar of it folding up to your chin a bit. His hand was itching to fix it for you for some reason.
Why is he thinking about that now? Focus, Satoru.
You stare back at him blankly, indicating that you haven't heard what he is saying. He repeats, and as he's speaking, his eyebrow shot up in his blindfold in his realization that you have no cursed energy.
"I'm not lost," you finally say. "Also, do you not know how far and wide this place is? I couldn't possibly manage myself on foot."
Satoru is slightly taken aback by your bluntness. "If you're not lost, then you do know this is a monastery, right? You can't ride your bike here."
"I'm actually aware this is also a school. But if that is the practice here, I was just about to leave anyway, so… let me off the hook?"
"I'm actually a faculty member here, so…"
"I know who you are."
He pauses. "You do?"
"Satoru Gojo. I heard that I'd know you from your height and blindfold."
"And what about for my incredible good looks?" He smirks. He just couldn't help himself.
"I have yet to see, my guy."
Satoru lifts up the left side of his blindfold to take a peek down at you—or more so, flaunting his captivating blue eyes—so he was told. His smirk is still in place as he pats his blindfold back down over his eye. "Anyway, as a faculty member, I have to know what business you have here."
You lean forward to rest both arms on the top of the bike's handlebars, a bored look on your face. "Trust me, I didn't want to bike my way up here, but my dumb cousin left his lunch, and it was up to me to save the day."
"Cousin?"
You look up at him with a straight face. "Yaga-kun."
Shivers.
Shivers are what Satoru felt up his spine.
What are the odds that the one non-curse user or sorcerer he decides to kind of flirt with is the cousin of his boss and sensei? Gross.
He doesn't miss a beat. "Carry on then."
"Hey, that's it? How do you know I'm not lying?" You ask as he starts walking away.
"No one calls that cranky geezer like that around here. Pretend this never happened, yeah? It'll both do us good, I think."
He doesn't look back at you again, but he does throw a goodbye wave over his shoulder. You pout as you watch him walk deeper into the campus before strolling away.
Quite some time has passed since Satoru last saw you on your bike, but sometimes during the day, he'll recall the brief encounter and wonder how you were doing. He never dared to bring it up and ask Yaga-sensei. Who knows what trouble he'll stir up if he learns he might've been kind of flirting with his cousin?
But there you are again, and Satoru, again, has to blink behind his blindfold just to make sure that it was in fact you, walking on along the outskirts of the training ground he and his first years are in. He watches you quietly with his hands on his hips while his students carry on with their training, obliviously. Your gaze was fixed on his students and on him while walking, holding what seemed to be a lunch bag in your small hands. He notes that you're not wearing a summer dress this time. What adorns your body is instead a white long-sleeved shirt and a grey long skirt that goes down above your ankles, feet covered in brown dress shoes. He doesn't miss the way your lips turn into a slight upward smile, which he finds cute, but he immediately has a hand slashing across his neck, meaning to not acknowledge him in front of his students. Something flashes on your features—disappointment maybe? before you look back forward and continue walking as if you never saw them.
"Who's that?" One of his students, Yuji, says while lowering his shinai, staring up at your fleeting figure.
"She's pretty. I've never seen her here before, though," Kugisaki pipes while wiping a sweat off her brow.
Satoru hums. You are pretty.
"Do you know her, Sensei?" Megumi asks beside him in his usual monotone voice.
"I have never seen her before in my entire life."
"Eh? Then she might be lost then? I sense no cursed energy." Yuji says, "May I be excused, Gojo-sensei?"
"No!" Satoru abruptly answers, making his students jump a bit. He quickly fixes his demeanor by clearing his throat. "As a faculty member, I'll go and see what's up, yeah? You students keep on training 'til I come back."
With that, he wastes no time teleporting to where he thinks you will be.
"What's with that blindfolded idiot?" Kugisaki asks while readying her stance to spar with Megumi again.
"Blindfolded idiot? You've been hanging around too much with Maki-senpai," Yuji comments, earning a whack on his head.
You were quietly walking through the empty hallways of Jujutsu High when suddenly Satoru, in all his tall glory, came into view from around the corner.
"Gojo-sama?" You stop in your tracks as you come face-to-face with him.
You can't entirely read his expression with his blindfold, but you thought the tips of his ears turned pink just now.
"Hello, you. Lunch again?"
You frown before sidestepping him to continue your way down the hallway. "Again? We haven't met before, have we?"
"Aww, someone's got their panties in a bunch?"
You swirl around at him, face all red and a scandalous look on your face in response to what he just said. He tries but fails to not laugh at you.
You continue walking.
"Well, then how about a proper introduction this time? Satoru Gojo. You?"
A few beats of silence, then, "Masamichi, Y/N."
"Hmm, Y/n. And will I be seeing you around enough for me to remember that?"
"I hope not. It's so hard to travel here."
"Not without your bike? You listened to me, eh? A good girl you are."
You ignore the summersaults your heart just did at the name he gave you. "Well, I'm an outsider, so I don't really want to cause any trouble."
"I thought you'd use your cousin-of-the-principal privilege."
"Not everyone is a brat like you, Gojo-sama."
"Oh, and how would you know?"
"My cousin's your boss, remember?"
He heartily chuckles at that.
You've decided you like that sound.
"Why are you here anyway? Don't you have class in session?"
"One of my students was going to come up to you, thinking you were lost. I can't let either one of you talk behind my back now."
"You're so self-centered."
He scoffs but doesn't reply, and you don't say anything as well.
Soon, you find yourself watching Satoru open the sliding doors for you to your cousin's office.
"Y/n! Finally." The brawny man behind the desk straightens up in his chair, only to deflate once again when he sees who you're with. "What are you two doing together?"
"So no hi—hello, my favorite student and co-worker?" Satoru says while sliding the door shut behind him.
"Get out."
You walk up to the desk, "Yaga-kun, I didn't think you'd be so mean, especially how I just have to bring your lunch to you again. You don't even provide me transportation; I had to go on foot."
"What happened to your bike?"
Satoru clears his throat.
"Well." You start, "Just because I have a bike doesn't mean it's okay for you to keep counting on me to bring your forgotten lunch."
"Alright," the grown man sulks, "I'll try to remember it this time."
"You should! I have classes to teach, you know."
"You a teacher then?" Satoru pipes in, genuine interest laced in his voice.
Both you and Yaga-kun look back at the tall man, now sprawled on one of the guests' couches.
"Yes - "
"You don't have to answer that buffoon," he grumbles, to which Gojo pouts. "Also, why am I under the impression that you two know each other? Did I miss something?"
"I have never seen her before in my entire life."
When your cousin looks back at you for confirmation, you only shrug at him. "Well, I suppose I should introduce you to each other. Y/n, Gojo Satoru, a pain in the ass. Gojo Satoru, Y/n, another pain in the ass, but my distant cousin."
You stick your tongue out to Satoru, and he chuckles again.
He finds you too cute.
"Who's older then? Does she need to address me in some way other than 'your highness'?"
You can definitely see the vein almost popping from Yaga-kun's forehead after hearing Satoru's boastful words, "I think you're a year older than her. That doesn't matter. Y/n, I'll make sure to remember my lunch this time; I don't want you to catch this fool's crudeness."
The tall man feigns hurt while you only roll your eyes but can't stop yourself from smiling.
Yaga-sensei was not kidding about remembering his lunch because months had gone by and Satoru was beginning to forget the sound of your voice.
His students asked who you were after that encounter, and he simply said that it was the principal's distant cousin. He also tells his students to make sure to tell him when you're spotted on campus again so he can assist you. "She was lost, and she told me she's forgetful. It's better if I lead the way, yeah? Being a faculty member and all."
All three of his students' eyebrows were raised.
After some time, Satoru finds himself hiding Yaga-sensei's lunch bag just so he can get the chance to see you again. He doesn't know why he would go do something as snatching someone's lunch for a non-sorcerer, let alone for his boss's cousin, but what he does know is that he misses the back-and-forth banter between you two and he misses your cute little reactions whenever he says something that caught you off-guard. He misses how you make his heart flutter. Like, who else is he going to flirt with on campus? Plus, he's bored out of his mind because his students and co-workers are busy, and he should be too, but that's not important right now.
He'd hide the lunch bag at lunch time, but if you don't come after the day, he secretly returns it. After a couple of attempts at scheming,, none of it seems to work and he decides to keep it a bit longer.
Still nothing.
In desperation, Satoru finds himself whistling nonchalantly as he strolls into the principal's office, pretending to be intrigued by the paintings hung up on the walls.
"What the hell are you doing here, Satoru?" The principal grumbles. "Stop slacking off."
"I am nooootttt. Can't I pay my Sensei a visit?"
"No."
"Hmm, then you don't want this, then?"
He holds up the lunch bag he'd stolen two days ago, which he doesn't dare to open, dreading the impending doom of stench that might seep out of it.
"I've been wondering where that went. Where did you find it?" The man looks almost relieved, like a thorn was pulled off his side. "I've been thinking that there's some type of cursed spirit lurking and hiding my stuff, specifically my lunch, for some reason."
"Aren't you glad? Since this has been missing, does that mean your cousin what's-her-face had to visit recently?"
He grits his teeth. "You mean Y/n."
"Yeah, Y/n, yeah. Her."
Shameless.
He'll take any excuse to say your name at this point.
Desperate and shameless, the man that he is.
"She's a teacher for a high school and a college, and this time around is usually a busy time for teachers since it's finals. Something that should also be applicable to you too, right? Satoru."
The man in question only smiles at him.
"So, teacher, huh? Do you also go to her school every once in a while?"
"None of your business, Satoru. Go back to your class."
"Okay, then where is this high school or college?"
"I said OUT."
Satoru can only pout in defeat.
But only for a while.
As mentioned, he was a desperate and shameless man. He purposefully continues to slack off on his duties for the rest of the day, shutting down Ijichi's pleas about important meetings and about this and that - blah,blah, blah. A man needs his big ball of sunshine, you see. And he finds himself thinking of you because of that statement.
The fact that you're his sensei's cousin doesn't even bother him anymore; he really just wants to see you.
So there he was, finally out of his uniform and blindfold, covered in a dress shirt with his glasses instead, traveling across the city in hopes of bumping into you. He knows it would almost be impossible, especially with you having no curse energy, so he can't pinpoint you in the crowd, but he might as well grab his favorite snacks in town and relax from all the hard work he hasn't been doing at all lately. After a while of cafe-hopping and people-watching, he quickly began to get bored and decided to look up the nearby high schools and colleges, hoping your name would pop up.
Desperate and shameless.
He finds your public profile on a website of what looks like a joint elementary and high school establishment.
Now that wasn't too hard. He wishes he had done this sooner.
"What on earth are you doing here?"
You cross your arms across your chest, your eyes looking around the kid's school park, wary of any eyes that might be looking at the two of you and getting the wrong idea. Your self-consciousness cause you to bring your cardigan closer together as it rests over your long floral summer dress. Luckily, classes are still in session, so no one was around to see the two of you. You have no idea why this man, someone you met briefly ages ago and just a co-worker of your grouchy cousin, has turned up at your workplace.
Satoru was grinning up at you as he slightly swayed in his swing. He almost looks funny all folded up like that in a child's seat.
"I came to give you this. Sensei doesn't like me doing any favors, so just tell him that it was delivered to you or something."
Placed in your hands, you see the old lunch bag in which you usually pack your cousin's lunch in the mornings.
"I've been giving him hell for losing this. But did you really just come all the way here to give this to me?"
"I was on my day off, and I figured I'd give this to you personally, you know, because what's inside is probably gross right now."
"You didn't even empty the contents?"
"Who do you think I am?"
"Um, a creep who just showed up to the place I work?"
"I could say the same thing to you back then."
You scoff, clutching the lunch bag in your hands a little too hard. "Is there anything else I can help you with, Gojo-sama?"
"Not even a thank you?" He grins cheekily, and you're starting to get a little annoyed.
Annoyed at how good-looking he is right now, especially with how you can see his blue eyes peer up at you through his glasses.
It's making you squirm a bit under his gaze.
"Thanks."
A pause, then, "By the way, how come I've never seen you around here before?"
"Hm? I just recently moved in next to my cousin's house."
"Ah, I see."
Satoru grins and stands up to stretch his arms over his head. You immediately looked away when the open top buttons of his dress shirt showed a little too much of his skin enough for it to be inappropriate. "Well, I gotta get going and savor my day off."
"Gee, I wish I had one too. Finals season is always hell. I can imagine yours is too."
"Yeah, definitely. Totally."
"Alright, I better get going."
You turn around and start walking, but you change your mind and whip back around, only to find him stopping a few steps from you.
"Is there something - ?" "How about you - ?"
The two of you start to talk at the same time, only to laugh at each other.
"You first," you say after the last giggle.
"Nah, I feel like I've been talking for a long time. You go."
"Well, how about I go on and accompany you on the rest of your day off? I could use a mini break."
To this end, Satoru scratches the back of his nape. You immediately add, "It's okay if you'd rather."
"No. I mean, come with me, yeah. That was what I was gonna say too. It was getting boring being by myself."
You smile. "Okay. Should we meet at the cafe? I'll just finish a few tasks and then I'm done."
"Of course. Do your thing. I'll wait."
With that, you start walking back. After a few steps, you peek behind you only to see the tall man punching a fist into the air.
Of course, he didn't come all the way here just to give you some old, crusty lunch bag.
Little did he know that you were almost desperate enough to pull the same trick on him just so you could see him again.
Almost desperate and shameless, the woman that you are. ˖⁺‧₊˚ ♡ ˚₊‧⁺˖˖⁺‧₊˚ ♡ ˚₊‧⁺˖˖⁺‧₊˚ ♡ ˚₊‧⁺˖˖⁺‧₊˚ ♡ ˚₊‧⁺˖˖⁺‧₊˚ ♡ ˚₊‧⁺˖˖⁺‧₊˚ ♡ ˚₊‧⁺˖˖⁺‧₊˚ ♡ ˚₊‧⁺˖ (❀❛ ֊ ❛„)♡ reblogs and comments are appreciated//do not repost my work anywhere // Finally, I posted again :)) I've been trying to write for Naoya but I find it difficult to write his character - Satoru is the easiest to write for me, cus we alot alike ♡
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phantasmiafxndom · 11 months
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Ooo the hantengu clones in heat. Especially karaku... the poor babies
Sekido
He's miserable, and not doing anything to help himself. Sekido absolutely despises everything his body is trying to do. The sudden sensitivity and urges to seek comfort are humiliating, and worse, they make him much too vulnerable. Finding some isolated corner to hide in doesn't make anything better for himself, though, nor does snarling at anyone who gets near him. It's an ordeal just to get Sekido to let you sit nearby, and he's resisting any of your attempts "help" like he thinks you're trying to trick him.
A lot of the cause for this is that he hurts. When he's this sensitive, all of his old, poorly healed wounds and self-induced stress aches go from unpleasant to agonizing, and that makes Sekido desperately defensive. He instinctively fears being hurt while he's like this, while he's unable to defend himself properly... even though the slightest relief would have him melting in seconds.
Karaku
Heats make him desperate, to the point where his usual pleasure-seeking behavior turns frantic. When he feels like this, Karaku would do anything to avoid pain or discomfort. He wants to be held and touched and treated softly so badly it hurts, but that's not an option. It's never been an option, outside of when humans had another use for him that he could be rewarded for. He's pliant enough that he won't lash out even if you approach him, too limp and uncomfortable to do anything but accept what happens.
Any kind of touch you offer is highly effective. Effective in the sense that Karaku's brain shuts off even more than usual. He can't remember why he shouldn't just crawl halfway into your lap and press his face against your shirt until everything stops feeling so awful. There's not a thought left in his head about the possibility of being hurt— just desperation for anything that feels good.
Aizetsu
As soon as he starts feeling weird, Aizetsu tries to hide. After spending so long contained with the other three and their more violent habits, his instinctive response to feeling vulnerable is to avoid any unwanted attention for fear of it turning violent. Regardless of if it's comfortable or not, he's curled up in the smallest, darkest place he can find, muffling sobs into his hands because every part of him feels wrong. The oversensitivity makes his usually fragile emotional state much, much worse.
The combination of fear, stress, and his body's overreaction to every stimuli makes him actually sick, more often than not. Aizetsu is prone to being affected by his emotional state anyway; like this it only gets worse. Even though he knows that proper care would make him feel vastly better, he's stuck in a miserable state of believing he deserves to suffer through the heat alone.
Urogi
Heats wreck his energy levels, making him lethargic, dazed, and barely aware of what's going on around him. Instead of constantly fidgeting and moving around, Urogi can barely get himself to sit up on his own. The most reaction you'll get out of him, most of the time, is twitching wings and maybe a miserable whine. He wants attention so badly when he's like this, anything so he's not just lying there and spacing out for hours at a time— it's unnerving for time to disappear like it does when his brain is barely functional.
He's too weak and limp to lash out at you, though so it's safe to get close. With his whole body oversensitive and so very responsive to anything that feels good, any kind of petting results in whimpers and full-body trembling as it gets even harder to think clearly. Especially when that restless energy shifts into arousal, he's soon desperate for more and more of your touch.
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ivys-garden · 17 days
Text
I, like many of yall, have noticed a vocal minority of people showing there support for Wilbursoot, going as far as to attack shubble and her supporters. In this post I'll go through the main points I've seen them argue with and explain why I believe that they are all wrong.
“Shubble was the real abuser” - No. If she was, William would have spoken up. There is no evidence for this, well, that isn't faked or saying one thing is another (like the guy saying a pic of will crying was because of shubble or the guy trying to pass a stream of a completely different girl of as shubble abusing will… live. On stream. Yah, think we would have heard of that before now.)
“She has no proof” - genuinely fuck of. In domestic abuse cases there won't always be hard proof, that's one of the reasons the police struggle to do anything about it. If a wife is struck by a husband and it leaves no mark that doesn't mean it didn't happen “why didn't she show the bruises” have you guys ever been bruised? Bruises heal quickly, and she doesn't have any to show since the allegations came out after their break up, all the bruises would have healed. “Why didn't she take photos at the time?” Look at it this way, if I punch you across the face you will have a lot of thoughts, none of them will be “I should take a photo of this so people belive me what I say it happened”
(Also don't pretend that people wouldn't just say the evidence was fake if she did have pictures)
Oh and she does have evidence, the fact William admitted to it.
“She just did it for attention” - bitch, shubble doesn't need attention she was doing great. Just because you never heard of her didn't mean she was some underground indie youtuber, she didn't need to lie to get attention. Also lying about domestic abuse is not a good way to do this since it's really easy to disprove. The other party would come out instantly to tell everyone the truth. William didn't do that because shubble WAS telling the truth.
“Her story changed” - no. It didn't. Even the idea that she changed whether or not wilbur bruised with the bites or made her bled (both of which are still bad, btw) is made up, she never said that, as was clarified by shubble herself
“She encouraged death threats” - She openly decouraged death threats. Saying she was like: “everyone go and tell people to kill themselves” is literally putting words in her mouth
Also, this by no means goes for everyone, but arguing about death threats while, wilbur hasn't told his supports not to send death threats and that wilburs supporters have been saiding threats to shubble and her fans while condemning the few shubble fans who sent death threats, is kinda stupid
(Also this is by no means the main point but I have seen people who support wilbur literally begging for death threats, soooooooo)
(Oh aslo I was mistaken in the early version where I said shubble had implied that she didn't belive wilbur could change, that was another misconception and I'm sorry for spreading it. Shubble does belive that people can change IF they put in the work to do so)
Also remember, William has not been shown to actually change yet. He still hasn't even given shubble an apology that takes proper accountability, when he does that, apologies to everyone else he's wronged, and puts in the effort to actually be better moving forward, then we can forgive him. But at the moment he has not shown that.
So until then: support shubble. Belive victims. Raise awareness for these issues in the gaming space (this has been going on for a long time). And don't engage with people who make up evidence to support there parasocial relationships, don't send death threats (obviously, because that's wrong) but also don't engage in any other way. This will be my last post on this subject. Move on from William and the support for him will die down when they realise there's no one to disagree with, and then William, Shubble and all of us can move past this and into the future as a (hopefully) better space
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ladyluscinia · 7 months
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Izzy Hands Is Manipulative, But Not That Way
...or I finally finish that long ass meta post about why I love the fucking Navy Plot lol
The Izzy manipulation debate has been really interesting to me pretty much since it started, because I'd see a post arguing he's manipulating Edward and go "No, and he couldn't if he tried" and then the next post would say he sucks at manipulation because he's a blunt fucking instrument and I'd go "Yea- wait. Hmm. No, he can be targeted and tricky as fuck." Which does, on its surface, seem like a contradictory stance, but I swear it works.
Because the thing with Izzy - and this is such a fun thing imo - is there are two core types of manipulation that characters engage in, and Izzy fucking sucks at the one you expect his style of antagonist to focus on. But he's scarily good at the other.
Long meta under the cut, so get comfy.
...
From his role under Edward to the protagonist vs antagonist dynamic setup to his introduction scenes, Izzy is very much invoking the conniving second in command. We know this character from other media. He doesn't have the full power he wants so he's constantly scheming to get it. He can't or won't challenge his boss for some reason, so he settles for being the devil on their shoulder or working behind their back. He's the voice constantly ready to inflame insecurities and turn relationship cracks into chasms, and usually he's lying constantly to do so. His fingerprints are all over his boss's problems up to the moment they show some weakness, and then their loyal second goes right for the backstab. He is THE ambitious manipulator. The shady advisor. The snake.
And then you actually look at Izzy and he is not that guy. In fact, it's a testament to the strength of Edward's character arc how much his evil little henchman is not causing his problems.
So - Izzy and manipulation:
Izzy Can't Convince People To Do Things
Like. He really can't.
This interpersonal struggle is fairly fundamental to his character. And moreover, it's a skill that Izzy is intensely aware that he lacks, so usually he doesn't even try.
In his first episode he walks right up to Buttons and just straight up asks him for the information on his party. He doesn't even resolve to steal the hostages until he realizes that Stede has lost them in the bush already, and Izzy obtains them by buying them. When Stede confronts him they end up splitting the pair in a very above-board negotiation and he pretty much just goes with what Stede suggests.
Then in 1x03, people make a big deal of Izzy "manipulating" Edward by not clarifying that Stede didn't know who he was when he turned down the invite, but kind of importantly he repeats the damning line of the conversation faithfully. If he was going to lie, then why not lie? Why even go see Stede at all? And, if he didn't want Stede dead until after the conversation (understandable, tbh, since "Iggy" was stab-worthy), surely he could invent a better insult to rile Edward up. It makes his omission hit more like being bitchy about Stede not recognizing the obvious - namely that Izzy Hands works for Blackbeard and literally everyone knows this - than a slander campaign to get him killed. And once we properly meet Izzy and Edward in 1x04, Izzy's inability to manipulate becomes his main struggle.
Izzy's a blunt and direct person. He leans on authority bestowed by Blackbeard to take control of situations, playing the role he's supposed to play, and without it he lacks a Plan B. In 1x04 he doesn't have any authority over Edward, so his efforts to get him to take the danger of the Spanish seriously amount to "Well as bored as you might be, if you don't make a decision soon we're gonna fucking die." And this is true! There might be a very subconscious attempt at manipulation in his resignation speech before the "That's Blackbeard. I'm Stede, remember?" line - of the piss him off to get him to get his shit together variety - but Edward literally makes a joke out of it so not exactly effective.
And once Edward stops giving Izzy authority in general, his plan to make Lucius do stuff is still just... brute force. Which works at first when Lucius doesn't realize that Izzy's on his own now, and stops working as soon as Fang breaks ranks. His last ditch blackmail attempt isn't manipulative either - he just plans to tell the truth to Pete and assumes he'll be pissed about it. My guy loses a fight over the pirate equivalent of making an uppity employee clean the coffee maker while the boss is out. Not only does he fail to manipulate the crew in a conniving antagonist way... he doesn't even try.
I mean, the only time he (somewhat) succeeds in talking someone into things is 1x06. Getting Edward to agree to killing Stede isn't really manipulation - Izzy gets Fang and Ivan to back him in a very straightforward way because they all actually do have a stake in this - but he's passably able to push Stede to go through with the fuckery via fake compliments. It's not exactly high level work, though. Stede being vulnerable to ego-stroking / dares is pretty obvious.
So what is Izzy good at?
Well, if you can't make people do anything other than what they were going to do in the first place, you might as well lean into that.
...
Izzy Manipulates Situations, Not People
Situational manipulation is one of those fictional tropes that rarely can happen in real life, but there's not much resemblance because real life rarely gives you all the building blocks for a proper gambit and lets you loose. Too many factors. In narratives, though? It becomes one of my favorite ways of having a character be clever.
And before I get into this too much, a really fun sidenote - I think Izzy does situational manipulation more like the way protagonists do it. See, antagonists are usually emotionally and situationally manipulative (ex: provoking the hero to lash out and using it to frame them for a bigger crime), but it's not a good look when your hero drives the target to do something bad and then punishes them for it. So heroes lean on stuff like Batman Gambits - where the lynchpin of the scheme is the target fucking themselves over by behaving completely in character. They've written Izzy so ineffective at emotional manipulation that he pretty much has to rely on other characters' flaws or histories to cause problems, which has a very similar result. And it's wild.
...
Going back to the 1x03 confrontation in Jackie's bar, Izzy doesn't really do anything abnormal in how he conducts himself, but people are picking up on an agenda for a reason. Namely, the whole damn conversation quickly turns into a trap, and Izzy fully sits back and watches Stede spring it from sheer idiocy.
There's no indication that when Izzy walked up he wasn't going to carry out his task with all the bitchy professionalism expected of him, while probably hoping that Stede would eventually stick his foot in his mouth without Izzy's help (assuming he's the kind of idiot Izzy thinks he is). His first section of this conversation is nearly polite:
Izzy (about the Nose Jar): "I have a few colleagues in there." Stede: "Ugh. You again." Geraldo: "Mr. Hands, welcome. It's been a while." Izzy: "(To Geraldo) Yeah, because I hate this fucking place. (To Stede) But for some inexplicable reason, my boss would like a word with you. Bonnet."
It's not until Stede starts talking that I think Izzy clues in that Stede doesn't actually know who his boss is. He didn't introduce himself until the literal last second of their 1x02 interaction, so it wasn't obvious Stede wasn't literally bolting into the forest in horrified realization.
And Stede? He goes hard on being a bitch right out the gate. Brushes Izzy off, tells him to "get in line", calls him the wrong name, says he doesn't care who Izzy is...
Izzy so far has met Stede in a public place, in front of people who clearly treat Izzy with respect and fear. He doesn't bring up their previous interaction, Stede does. He doesn't even goad Stede beyond existing. He corrects him on his name, and watches it not register in the slightest. The next line is the clincher:
Izzy (slightly incredulous): "So I'll tell my Captain that you're declining then, yeah?"
As Izzy is speaking the conversation becomes a trap - he chooses a reasonable way to refer to Edward that isn't "Blackbeard" and waits to see if Stede will make this worse. The jump from "no I'm busy" to "tell him he has terrible taste in flunkies and he can go suck eggs in Hell" is all Stede, completely ignoring context clues as Geraldo stares on in horror. Hell, Jackie only refrains from later de-nosing Stede on the spot because Geraldo knows what's up, and Stede still doesn't pick up on the fact he should maybe be asking some questions (though I'll give him the knife was distracting).
Izzy returns to the ship, quotes Stede directly for his damning line, and waits to see what Edward will do with it. It's not good behavior on his part (and if he could have seen the future he might have tried worse), but switching mid-conversation to offering Stede an opportunity to fuck himself over is a very different mindset than simply lying to / provoking Stede or Edward to get what he wants. He's mostly being petty.
Stede did insult Edward of his own volition, after all, and just because Izzy fudges the truth to hide he didn't know he was insulting Blackbeard instead of just Izzy and a random stranger doesn't change that. All Izzy did to "escalate" that conversation was give Stede a second opening to do so himself.
But there is a far better example of Izzy masterfully manipulating a situation than this in-the-moment bit of pettiness, so let's move onto my favorite bit... explaining in extensive and slightly awestruck detail why the Navy plot. Fucking. Rules. Because it does. Ready?
...
How to Mastermind the Decisive Removal of One Stupid Fucking Stede Bonnet Over Drinks
Ahem. The Navy plot. Masterclass in intimate betrayal. Izzy's biggest escalation in the total collapse of Edward and Izzy's relationship, but also a completely fucking fascinating glimpse into whatever tangled web of codependency they've got going on, because Edward isn't even mad after 1x09. This wordcount is going to be insane enough without me getting into the Blackhands relationship connotations, so I will... attempt... to stick to breaking down the actual scheme.
And what a scheme it was.
Let's start at the beginning. Jack showing up to lure them into the trap at the start of 1x08? Nope, earlier. Izzy getting kicked off the ship and going to Jackie at the end of 1x06? Further back. Edward proposing the "kill Stede" plan at the end of 1x04, which is the domino that starts all this, right? Closer, but still no.
Izzy's first appearance on screen is in episode 1x02, and that episode is where the seeds of the Navy plot are first planted. See, during Stede's confrontation with Izzy, both of the hostages chime in:
Hostage 1 (Wellington): "Believe him, he's quite insane." Hostage 2 (Hornberry): "He does have the eyes of a madman. Sorry, you do."
Wellington says his line in a tone of voice that clearly indicates a story to tell, and it should also be noted that he is the same one who earlier jumped at the chance to tell the tribe chief about Stede murdering their captain - Nigel. And he's the one that Izzy leaves with, in a sour mood and wanting information about this "Stede Bonnet" character.
When Izzy later reaches out to the Navy, it's no coincidence that he finds Chauncey. He's known since right after their first meeting that Stede was directly responsible for the murder of an Admiral's brother and that the English Navy would know soon enough, since he was literally about to ransom a hostage back to them who would tell the story. And he filed that information away until it was useful or relevant like a clever pirate should.
Moving on to Jackie's bar in 1x03, Izzy gets more potentially useful observations / inspiration. Jackie is actually the first person in the series to make a deal with a naval power. Izzy and crew track the Revenge to the Spanish warship, which means they must see Geraldo sold out Stede to them. Izzy isn't stupid. He knows Geraldo and Spanish Jackie, knows that she's the brains and brawn behind this deal, and has seen enough of Stede that he'd absolutely believe that he did something to get Jackie pissed enough to plot his murder. File away Jackie wants Stede dead and details of how she nearly succeeded in offing him for later.
Izzy spends 1x05 up to the fuckery demonstration observing Stede's crew while waiting for Edward to pull the trigger. I definitely want to note the scene where they interrogate the Frenchman at the beginning of 1x05, because Izzy is staring directly at Stede as he leans away from Edward threatening violence (we know this will later be in his love montage so not actually a turn off, lol, but like... it looked like one). His opinion of the crew is that they like to fuck around without structure (1x05 during the party), probably that they enjoy more standard pirate levels of violence (not shown directly since they are kept out of the 1x05 raid, but fairly obvious), and that they are really easily awestruck by the chance to hear "real pirates" tell charismatic stories (1x06 ghost story).
Any of that sounding like someone we know?
And now to go back to Izzy in 1x06, when he gets sick of Edward being cagey about the plan to kill Stede and decides to "make" him stop stalling, he's straightforward again. Getting Ivan and Fang to back him isn't emotionally manipulative, but it does give him weight in the conversation. They are the ones who bring up the whole "love of a pet makes a man weak" thing, and they do it in the context of calling out hypocrisy. Izzy knows the standards Edward holds his crew to. He lets them convince Edward it's time.
Taking the chance to suggest Stede try a fuckery is a strong blend of situational and emotional manipulation, and later challenging him to a formal duel knowing he'd be overconfident enough to accept is more situational again. Even the terms of the duel are designed to take advantage of the situation. And then Izzy loses in the most comedy way possible, Edward lets him get banished, and Izzy decides that if he was ok with just sending Stede Bonnet on his way to fuck-off before... he's fucking gonna kill him now.
My guy is not a creative thinker, but he's definitely a logistical one. And as he rows away from that ship, all the pieces fall into place.
First, Spanish Jackie. Who listens to him bemoan his relationship woes because she likes him (Izzy gets Jackie in the divorce). Who wants Stede dead and has the clout to summon and deal with a distasteful ally - Chauncey. Together, they concoct an arrangement where a trap will be set and Chauncey gets Stede and only Stede. This isn't a tip-off or a free-for-all. Stede comes from Chauncey's world and they are sending him back. Permanently.
Then it's time for the trap itself, which needs to do two things: get the Revenge somewhere that Chauncey can corner it, and get Edward out of there. And Izzy? Izzy knows Edward. Knows there's one particular person in his past that will have no trouble integrating with the crew, getting Edward to act more like a pirate than a gentleman, and who happens to have a great ambush location on hand.
I've said this before but I'm gonna say it again - I don't think outside characters realize how hard and fast Edward is falling for Stede. The BlackBonnet bonding moments happen almost exclusively when they are alone. The place Izzy dramatically fails to manipulate the situation is not having the evidence he would need to predict Edward going back for Stede. He (and Jack) both think that a precise wedge between BlackBonnet - one that Jack delivers near flawlessly by playing into real issues - will be enough to remind Edward that Stede isn't his people. This isn't a plan to murder the love of Edward's life while his back is turned. It's a plan to get rid of Stede, and remind Edward why he was on board with doing that in the first place. "That's fair," Izzy says about a punch to the face.
Instead, Izzy's plot accidentally backs Edward into a corner and forces him to publicly pull a grand-gesture relationship level-up that he was not emotionally ready for, and the fallout from that explosion is way worse than any of our conspirators were counting on.
Still... you gotta admit. It was a really good plan.
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evilbihan · 2 months
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Kuai Liang is a liar
We need to talk about a Kuai Liang intro I've recently discovered that honestly left me flabbergasted. I have no idea how I didn't come across this intro earlier or why no one else ever talked about it, but the more you look into Kuai Liang's dialogues, the worse it gets. Blatant ableism towards Kenshi, arrogance and disrespect towards his own allies and now this...
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Baraka: I wouldn't wish Tarkat upon my worst enemy. Scorpion: Then help me stop Bi-Han from weaponizing it.
What is this? Just what on earth is he talking about here?
Bi-Han never intended to weaponize Tarkat. He wants it extinguished. Not once in the story mode does Bi-Han talk about or show any interest in Tarkat or the Tarkatans, it's not mentioned in his tower ending or any of his intro dialogues with other characters. What Bi-Han wants is an army similar to Shang Tsung's dragon army, so he can take control of a part of Earthrealm. To achieve this, he started the Cyber initiative.
What does any of that have to do with Tarkat? Bi-Han has no need for it. In fact, he made it very obvious what he thinks of those infected with Tarkat.
I looked at every line Bi-Han said in the game that mentions Tarkat as well as all his dialogues with Baraka and Mileena, the two characters that are infected with it.
Sub-Zero: Expect no compassion, freak. Baraka: Such a cold heart, Sub-Zero.
Sub-Zero: Your kind should be exterminated. Baraka: Disease does not make us disposable.
Sub-Zero: Your affliction is divine punishment. Baraka: Actually, it is fate's cruel joke.
Sub-Zero: If your subjects learn your secret -- Mileena: You dare threaten me, Bi-Han?!
What we learn from these dialogues is that Bi-Han wants Tarkat and Tarkatans gone. He thinks their affliction is some kind of punishment, he seems appalled by it, not interested in it. He tries to use Mileena's condition against her only as a method of extortion, but other than that, Bi-Han does not care about Tarkat in the slightest.
Kuai Liang is lying. He's lying to Baraka to turn him against Bi-Han.
How bad can the "bad guy" be if the supposed "good guy" has to lie to make him look worse?
Shang Tsung is the one trying to weaponize Tarkat and yes, Bi-Han was Shang Tsung's ally, but he stopped working with him and told Liu Kang he wasn't aware of Shang Tsung's experiments.
This isn't even the first time Kuai Liang was lying to one of his allies.
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Scorpion: Liu Kang's revelation has shaken my faith in him. Raiden: Understandable, given what he chose to hide. Reptile: Am I right to put faith in Liu Kang? Scorpion: He's always proven worthy of mine.
You might remember this dialogue from the second part of my character analysis for Kuai Liang, in which I already talked about how much of a two-faced character he is.
Truth is, Kuai Liang, just like Bi-Han, doesn't hesitate to lie to others when there's an advantage to gain for him. This yet again proves that Kuai Liang has no honor. I don't know how much lower this character can sink and that's not even including the story dlc events. Kuai Liang is a disgrace to the Scorpion mantle. Hanzo might have been a flawed character, but I don't recall him lying and manipulating others to get his way.
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shakespearesdaughters · 7 months
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The Secret History Theories
I’m currently re-reading Donna Tartt’s The Secret History right now and I have several theories but no one to share them with, so I thought I would put them here to see what you all think!
Richard pushed Bunny. ​
Richard said he hates authors who skip over the grisly parts of their crimes out of shame/embarrassment/guilt but he does it.
He was not only involved in the planning of Bunny’s murder but encouraged it by telling Henry what Bunny told him about the farmers murder knowing that Henry was already thinking about killing him.
While he showed some guilt about the murder afterwards he had no qualms about going through with it and was involved in the planning of it every step of the way.
He had a vested interest in Bunny dying not just to help protect the group but because Bunny knew/implied he knew about Richard’s true background and that he was lying about having money. He would have wanted to keep his secrets. He also wanted to secure his place in the group and what better way to do so than to kill someone.
We don’t know how Bunny died, as Richard purposely skips over this information. The only thing we do know is that Henry walked towards him, Camilla checked to make sure Bunny was dead. But what exactly did Richard do? If Richard didn’t kill Bunny why wouldn’t he tell us how Bunny died? 
2. Julian was more involved than Richard either was aware or wanted to admit. 
I think he was the person Camilla remembered seeing at the Bacchanal. He and Henry had spoken before the Bacchanal and Julian had told him to do what was necessary.
Henry got the idea to do the Bacchanal from Julian. Henry and Francis both were interested in acquiring the land with Francis wanting to purchase the house and Henry finding the land sacred. Henry is implied to have spent more time with Julian than the others having been to his home and had private conversations. ​
He also calls Bunny by his nickname for the first time when it came to Bunny’s suicide note which was odd. He said he knew or was able to predict what his students were doing and with how close he was to Henry there’s no way he didn’t know what they were up to. Which is probably why he had to leave and did leave so quickly. 
3. Richard was the author of Bunny’s suicide note as a confession. He spent a lot of time with Bunny and with Henry. He could have gotten the paper from either of them. The typewriter was in the study room for anyone to use. ​
Richard was an excellent student and could have written the note convincingly enough to sound like Bunny. It gives him the perfect out in the murder of the farmer because he’s not named once in them and it implicates the group especially Henry. Which could be Richards payback against Henry implicating him to the FBI. Also it’s the only way for Richard to confess just like he is confessing to us with the book for his guilt without having to actually atone for anything.
Richard also flip flops between insisting that Bunny was the author to it being possibly someone else. We also don’t know when the letter was dropped off because Julian doesn’t mention it. But from the way he was acting when he spoke to Richard and Francis and why he initially took it as a joke/brushed it off before speaking with Henry one could infer it was delivered after Bunny’s death. 
4. Charles is the only other person who could have written the note because he was also close to Bunny and Richard notes he is an expert forger and the letter is one big middle finger to Henry and the only other person who had a reason to hate/implicate Henry as revenge besides Richard would be Charles. ​
5. Francis is a predator who was possibly abusing Charles and no one in the group seemed to care. He also tried to have sex/ SA Richard and foreshadowed doing it when he said “if you drank as much as he(Charles) does, I daresay I would have been in bed with you, too.” ​
6. A catamount killed the farmer, Henry lied about it so he could manipulate the group and to murder bunny. 
There’s several hints about it being a big cat from Charles bite, to the way the body was found I mean how on earth did they rip open the stomach of a grown man and mutilate him without any weapons? They even go the catamount inn. ​
There would be something so deliciously ironic and really fulfill the themes of it being a Greek tragedy if it had all been a wild animal and Bunny was killed for nothing. ​
7. I think Richard was there at the Bacchanal and it was one of the many things he omitted. 
He is a self professed liar, an excellent one at that. He has no problem going where he’s not supposed to as we saw him entering the room and calling the number to find out about the plane tickets Henry purchased. He was following the group around. It wouldn’t be a hard stretch that he followed them to the woods and saw the bacchanal/orgy. 
He would have been upset he wasn’t invited because of his socioeconomic background. And upset that Bunny was invited over him. ​
Camilla thought she saw another person there. Henry thought he saw Dionysus there. Though it could have been Julian it could have also been Richard. ​
He admits he omits things and considered lying about Julian, he romanticizes Henry despite the murder, he easily went along with the murder of Bunny and has a thought of attacking and SAing Camilla and there is an implication he WAS lying about something very important. Which leads up to question what did he lie about? ​
He is not as horrified or concerned like a normal person would be when hearing your new friends just committed a brutal ritualistic murder. I think he was there, either as voyeur/bystander or he actually participated and was afraid Bunny might know or would find out which is why he goes along with it.
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wowa-bublord · 23 days
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Mentally lying on my bed and kicking my feet like a schoolgirl while joyously waiting for more Zack and Cloud sketchies ❤️ In your AU is Cloud completely conscious and aware when he first breaks out of his coma? Or is there a sort of in-between zone for awhile? If there is, is Zack overjoyed or worried out of his mind (or both)? Does Cloud struggle with allowing somebody to take care of him?
Sending you virtual hugs should you want them or a crisp and respectful nod of the head if not!
IM SORRY this ask only just showed up in my inbox but it says it's from march 24th?? tumblr killing me with daggers,,,, This is going to be a long one sorry!! I'll explain the stages of his coma first, and then the stages of waking up from it.
In the beginning, while they are on the run, Cloud is in.. something close to a catatonic state. He can perform basic instincts, such as blinking, swallowing, the small stumble-steps he's shown doing in gameplay, and making small noises. In my au/headcanon, this is because of the Mako keeping his body up and functioning in spite of his intense poisoning. Because of the Mako, his muscles also don't atrophy during this period. He has no memories from this era at all.
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After this, a little before the battalion but mostly after, his body begins to heal from his Mako poisoning. Which is good. but the lack of the access Mako leaves his body with far less functions. He begins to lose the ability to eat, becomes unable to even stumble, his eyes shut and don't open again. He falls into a full comatose state. Which, although it is very scary for Zack, and takes a lot more work and medical equipment, is actually a good sign for his healing. Fighting off mako poisoning this far is already rare.
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(In this segment, he is kept fed and hydrated through his IV, but he switches to an NG tube after he wakes up, due to the inconvenience of the IV and continued difficulty swallowing.)
His first signs of waking up were a few weeks before he opened his eyes. He began responding to stimuli, ears flicking at noises, hands tensing, eyes occasionally opening but not for long. It's at this stage that he also starts having nightmares, and becomes more aware of his environment. He has blurry memories from this era, but in the moment he was mostly just confused and distressed, and didn't process it. this took up most of the few weeks.
After some time, he began to have more moments of consciousness and rational thought. He could start to respond to simple questions or requests such as blinking or closing his hands. He only vaguely remembers this. It lasts a few days
when he actually began to wake up, initially he was incredibly upset and confused, not being recovered enough to actually process the situation. This resulted in him lashing out, not knowing where he was and initially not recognizing zack, he struggled and tried to pull his tubes out. This was the final stage to his waking up, only lasts an hour? possibly a few hours? and he was finally fully awake after this!!
When Cloud woke up from his coma, his body was incredibly weak from being bedridden so much. His muscles had atrophied severely over the few months, which put him in a wheelchair as they worked on him recovering.
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In this stage, he is mostly determined to improve again. He feels a lot of gratitude towards Zack for taking care of him so much, and a lot of frustration towards himself for not recovering faster.
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his next stage was crutches, he recovered his arm strength faster than his legs. He begins to pick up on zack overworking himself, but he's unsure how to approach it, and often ends up saying the wrong thing. (He still uses an NG tube in this era, but he begins to be able to eat on his own, so he doesn't have it in for much longer)
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His next stage is using a cane, which he ends up using for a long while. Even after his muscles have recovered, he maintains knee/hip pain for the rest of his life. He also has migraines and memory issues like in canon. At this stage, he begins to get frustrated with Zack more and more. He appreciates Zacks help, but feels frustrated with feeling like Zack doesn't trust him to take care of himself, and upset with how Zack prioritizes Cloud so much over himself. Due to these frustrations, he grows more confrontational. (<- comic linked is not 100% canon to this au, just an example.) Zack is overjoyed that Cloud is awake. He thought Clouds return to consciousness would help his fears and guilt ease, but for some reason he finds himself more worried than ever. He always backs off when Cloud says he wants space, but he finds himself worrying about what Cloud is doing now that he isn't able to be monitoring him all the time, and then guilty for feeling so worried.
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