Omega: *sneaking back onto the Marauder late at night*
Hunter: *From the pilots seat* Where have you been?
Omega: *Freezes*
Omega: Erm…with Crosshair?
Crosshair: *Spins round in the Co-pilot seat*
Crosshair: Try Again.
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Crosshair: I hate you.
Omega: Well, according to this picture I drew of us holding hands, that is simply untrue.
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Y/N: Get out of my room, Wreck!
Wrecker: *being a little shit and standing outside the doorframe* I’m not in your room!
Y/N: HUNTER-
Wrecker: Hey! No fair! You can’t just call Hunter every time you want to get your way!
Y/N: Fine.
Y/N:
Y/N: CROSSHAIR-
Wrecker: *immediately running away* That’s so much worse and you know it!
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Average night on the Marauder
Hunter *tucking Omega in*: Goodnight, sleep tight. Don’t let the bed bugs bite.
Tech: Technically, there would be no bed bugs. We just cleaned. Why do you think there are bed bugs?
Crosshair: Goodnight. Sleep tight, don’t let the monsters haunt you.
Wrecker: Monsters?
Omega: What monsters?
Echo *sighs*: There are no bed bugs, there are no monsters. Just go to bed.
Wrecker: But what monsters?
Hunter: No monsters.
Omega: Just bed bugs.
Tech: Again, there should be no bed bugs. Have you seen signs of them?
Echo: All of you go to sleep
*Quiet for a minute*
Wrecker: But why does Batcher always sleep with Crosshair? No fair, I wanna turn
Omega: She sometimes sleeps by me
Wrecker: No fair
Crosshair: She just likes me best
Tech: Technically, it may be because of Crosshair’s unresolved trauma. Dogs tend to know when humans are not alright. Although that may not be a good enough reason because many of us have unresolved issues.
Hunter: Yes, thank you for calling us out Tech, now go to sleep
*Quiet for another minute*
Omega: I need some water
Wrecker: I have to use the refresher
Tech: It is too hot in here to sleep. What temperature is the ship set at? This is not the optimal sleeping environment
Hunter: Do not touch the thermostat!
Echo: WOULD YOU GO TO SLEEP ALREADY?
Crosshair: Okay, mom.
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Spoiler-Free Incorrect Bad Batch Quotes
Hunter: Did you check your lunch? I put a little note in your bag to tell you that I love you.
Omega, opening the bag: Hunter, this is a 10-page letter.
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Phee, unbuttoning shirt: Damn, it's so hot in here!
Tech: I get that, but why are you unbuttoning my shirt?
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Hunter: My daughter said she really wants to watch "Murder on the Polar Express" and shit now so do I.
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Wrecker: Can we go to Dex's? Shakes are 1.99 right now!
Echo: I thought you were lactose intolerant?
Wrecker: Not at that price!
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Omega: Crosshair, if you die, do you want to be buried or cremated? Like, if you were hit by a bus today, what do I do?
Crosshair: Go after the bus driver and make him pay for what he did to me. Avenge me, Omega.
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Omega: Hey, Crosshair, are you awake?
Crosshair: What?
Omega: Are you awake?
Crosshair: Who do you think said "what"?
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Echo: What is your biggest fear?
Rex: Oh, I'm incredibly arachnophobic.
Wrecker: You don't want the spiders to get married?
Rex: ......
Tech, sighing while putting his fork down: Wrecker, why-
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Crosshair: Hey, nerd!
[Echo, Tech, and Omega all turn around]
Crosshair: Oh, you all turned around? Wow.
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