#in fact in my experience i was kinda scared to be a straight trans man

[t4transsexual]

Out of curiosity- what's the weirdest thing another trans person has told you regarding transhetness?

probably the most offensive one has to be that time someone said i would never have to worry that people wont accept my sexuality. because in my life that has not been the case lmao. like i am still TRANS so generally someone who doesnt accept homosexuality isnt gonna be thrilled with trans ppl either, like those kinds of people who are homophobic but not transphobic really only exist in terfs brains lol

and the least personally offensive one would have to be that one person who said "you cant be straight as a trans person, this push for sameness is really hurting our community" like damn rly didnt think i was gonna get called an assimmilist for like, being a heterosexual lmao my bad

also im not straight passing irl either, but i am cis passing, so whenever i bring up that im dating a girl i get to visibly watch the gears turn in peoples heads as they try to figure out how this little gay boy fucks women which is always fun

i think generally a lot of weirdness i get probably comes from the fact that for one, a lot of people view queerness and gayness as the same, and queerness and heterosexuality as opposites, and especially people in my specific generation (older gen z) and especially the cis people/recently cracked eggs rly have put emphasis on "gayness" and "being gay" and take on "being gay" as the same meaning as being queer, so when they meet someone who is queer but is explicitly NOT gay (and this is more than transhet people, this can be anyone who is queer but doesnt identify as gay, including same gender attracted people of all sorts of sexualities/genders), they really dont know what to do with us, and for two im southern and live in the south and people here are not usually very imformed about different flavors of queerness and for some people im lucky if i get them to understand that im trans at all, let alone telling them im a heterosexual, because im not exaggerating when i tell you that pretty much everyone expects me to be gay no matter the fact that i have a girlfriend and havent dated a man since 2021 lol

and heres a photo of me close up if that helps you understand why everyone thinks im gay (i really dont get it myself but)

#straight yapping on this one lol #also to be clear #i dont actually get mad at people who assume im gay #and as a cis passing trans man im happy that i still at least trigger the gaydar #and being preceived as a cis gay man is way safer than being preceived as a trans man of any sexuality #but also if me triggering the gaydar for some reason #makes me appear safer to people who need it #like other trans/queer people #then like im fine w that #however when i tell you im not gay and im straight #and that i dont want to be called gay because its invalidating to my sexuality #and this is important to me bc i spent so much of my life #experiencing extreme comphet #and i still had to overcome that #it was NOT easier to accept i dont like men now that im a man #in fact in my experience i was kinda scared to be a straight trans man #so that's why i really feel strongly about it #trans #t4t #transhet #st4t #t4t mlw #t4t wlm #trans man #transgender

[aromanticannibal]

Transfem Katsuki (edited as of Nov. 2023. Katsuki hadn't died yet when this was written so bear with me.)

In honor of "fuck I thought about transfem Katsuki and now I'm in love with her again" and also because of a shitty discourse post I saw. Enjoy.

She will NOT figure it out until at least second year of UA.

She's always been uneasy about the whole boy thing. Specifically boy. Like she's one of the guys ok sure but she's not a boy.

We know how kind Aldera is to anyone who's slightly out of the norm (ie Deku) and Katsuki is especially aware given she was part of the problem. So yeah, internalized transphobia (+homophobia) we love to see it./s

Getting into UA and quickly realizing that like more than half the class is openly and proudly queer in some way gave her whiplash, and as much of a bully as she still was at this point, she didn't say anything.

She tried to convince herself it was to not get in trouble and gamble her place at UA, but really she was just glad to not be somewhere as fucked as her middle school.

And if the trans ponytail chick makes her question who she really wants to be... well that's nobody's business.

As I am very subtly implying, Momo ends up being a big part of Katsuki accepting herself and her identity as a trans woman.

Katsuki loves her friend group (she'll never admit it but she does, so much) but she associates them with her old group from Aldera somewhat unconsciously, and is terrified they'll push her away, even if she knows she's just. Straight up wrong.

As in, so incredibly wrong. Sero and Jirou are non binary ("Whatever the hell that means") Kirishima is a proud trans man ("More of a man than any of the cretins at Aldera will ever be") Mina's dating a trans girl from another school ("Camie Utsushit or smth") and Kaminari is so many different flavors of queer its almost impressive.

Really, her friends are probably the ones that should be worried, she tries to remind herself, hammering it in her head. Katsuki was an asshole for most of her life, they should be the ones scared of her. They're not though. For some fuckin' reason.

So yeah, talking to her friend group is out of the question. Momo though.

Momo is a special kind of trustworthy. Momo is the kind of person you'd give your entire life savings, your child, your car and your wife to. Katsuki hates that, she hates trusting people, it always ends badly, so she prefers doing stuff on her own.

Except it doesn't always end badly. Especially not with Yaomomo.

Every early saturday morning, Katsuki's and Momo's workout sessions happen at the same time. Eventually, they start talking during that time. Katsuki eventually asks about Momo being trans, more or less convinced she'll tell her to go fuck herself (she obviously doesn't).

It helps, despite the fact that her experience isn't the same as Katsuki's at all. Momo always knew she was a girl, her parents always were supportive about it, and money really wasn't a problem to help her transition once she was old enough to make that decision. Hell, she can literally make estrogen.

Katsuki then comes to the realization that yeah, she's probably a girl. Not like I'll ever do shit about it, she thinks.

Things kinda stay stagnant for a time then. Katsuki has way more important stuff to worry about (like exams and also her and her friends almost dying etc etc) and the self-hatred that simmers in her head constantly doesn't make it really fun to actually think about herself.

Second year comes around.

Because this is me, and my blog, and I do what I want, I present to you my son, Shinsou. Most trans guygirl t4t lesbian of all time. In my heart.

So Shinsou is very trans in the most mysterious way you could think of, so mysterious he himself doesn't really know what is going on with his gender. He doesn't exactly care, he just vibes (any pronouns).

They're pretty knowledgeable on queer stuff because it loves to read wikipedia pages until 5AM when it can't sleep and got lost on multiple LGBTQ+ related forums when she was 13. (He also knows a lot about chickens and lizards.)

She can just breathe the queer coming out of Katsuki, but when they ask they're just met with "oh Bakugou? Yeah no, he's cishet. Our token straight man. To prove we're diverse, etc." (-Shouji, entirely serious). Shinsou's not buying it but she doesn't like assuming, so he shuts up.

Meanwhile, Katsuki has nothing to think about anymore now that things have settled and she's not getting attacked by her self-hatred constantly, so she unfortunately ends up thinking about her gender (truly tragic. Genuinely though, it's almost distressing because she pushed the thought down for so long that it's scary to think about).

Because early mornings and nights are a time outside of our world, it's again around 5AM that Katsuki talks to someone who might help her with her gender problem. Shinsou in fact, who's of course awake on a Monday morning after a sleepless night, eating cereal out of the box.

Katsuki finds herself chatting with the weirdo and eventually asks what the fuck kinda gender it is, if only to be able to call her something else than the weirdo in her head.

The realization that gender is a construct and doesn't really fucking exist so it doesn't actually matter is somewhat of an epiphany for Katsuki. Like she's silent for multiple minutes. Shinsou is getting scared

Quietly, she mutters a small "I think I'm a girl" to Shinsou. It smiles and says "Nice. There's not enough girls in this class." and goes back to its cereal.

Katsuki has no fucking idea how that fucker exists. He's an anomaly in the timeline. Katsuki adores them.

(Platonically. Girl doesn't have time for romantic love. Yes I'm also making her aromantic, because aro Katsuki is the loml and one of my fave hcs.)

After that weird but insightful conversation, Katsuki finally asks Momo for help, taking her up on an offer she had made one morning. ("If you ever need my help for anything concerning [your gender bullshit], come see me.")

Momo being the absolute QUEEN that she is, she assembles all transgirls and cisgirls of the class + whoever else would like to join (which ends up being Jirou, Shinsou and Aoyama) and they all go on a shopping trip with Katsuki to help her figure out what she likes.

Does she want to wear makeup? Does she want feminine clothes? Or long hair? Does she want boobs? Or thinner traits?

Does she just want different pronouns and to be addressed viewed as a girl?

Mina shortens that as "What kinda girl is Katsuki".

I'll do you the answer here so this doesn't take forever, because the process of figuring it out must be long.

Mainly, the verdict will eventually be that Katsuki didn't really feel comfortable in the box she, her parents and Aldera put her in, which is a sort of vague idea of a Boy, Man, Son. She's mean and a bitch and probably a tomboy and she's a girl. That's all. She doesn't want of any of that flowery pink crap and being "gracefully feminine" like Momo is, she'll still kick your teeth in. Being a girl isn't fundamentally part of her identity or her personality, but it's who she's comfortable being.

She does enjoy skirts once she feels comfortable enough to wear them. She grows her hair a bit too (because she doesn't wanna look like her mother at first, but she ends up liking the look) and puts it up in a ponytail.

Makeup is a bitch but it looks cool, so she lets Mina, Aoyama and Shinsou use her face as a canevas for their weird makeup experiments. She thinks she looks like a clown half the time though (she doesn't, she's really cute). She mostly does eyeliner, which she already knew how to do before starting her transition, and very rarely lipgloss.

She doesn't really care about having breasts or softer traits, mainly because her traits are already pretty androgynous when she looks at herself, and she's already got big pecs so like. Basically tits. It's the same, it doesn't really matter. She's happy with how her body looks, she worked to have a healthy body and she doesn't care if it's "not a woman's body" or whatever the fuck. She likes how her body is and she doesn't really care about changing it.

She thinks of using she/they (like Jirou) but doesn't exactly care about they/them? Like they're not bad to have used on her (way better than he/him) but she prefers just using she/her.

She doesn't change her first name. It means victory, so it's already perfect for her. It's her name.

Some of her friends (the ones who aren't scared of death cough cough Shinsou) call her Katsuki-chan (Kacchan is copyrighted) but most her friends call her Kats', because she let slip one time she thinks it's cute.

To end this because good lord I've been typing for some time, here's my Transfem Bakugou pinterest board. I actually have a bunch of transfem characters pinterest boards lmao

Also realizing I almost didn't talk about Izuku. Damn I've really betrayed myself as a bkdk truther. Rip.

#bakugou katsuki #transfem bakugou #trans bakugou #trans girl bakugou #bnha #mha #bnha headcanons #mha headcanons #shinsou hitoshi #momo yaoyorozu #long post #ciders mha hyperfixation

[transenbyconfessions]

I really need help but have nobody to count on, specially not about this. It involves so much, and I'm so... Confused, I feel kinda lost.

I've identified as a trans man for years now, since I was around 15 years old. I was dating a straight cis guy at the time, so I did everything I could to be accepted by him. Identified as gender fluid, then nonbinary, then demiboy, before getting the courage to say I was a man. With some struggle, he did accept me. We broke up after five years of our relationship, because he couldn't accept the fact that I was aroace, neither my recent autism diagnosis, but that's beyond the point.

Recently, I started identifying as agender, but I still am out as a trans man. I haven't transitioned physically yet, no hormones or surgery, because I live with a transphobic father that is still the only person that doesn't know. I'm out at college and the place I work at, I go by a chosen, masculine name whenever I can, I try my best to dress accordingly, and my young 15 years old self would be in awe if they saw me now.

Still, I feel conflicted. I know this might sound silly, but recently I managed to get myself a new hyperfixation on the God of War Ragnarok game. Those who are neurodivergent know how special these fixations can can be. And it sparked a wave of new feelings in me, both after being depressed with no media to cheer me on and after years of feeling... Stuck, perhaps?

There's this character in the game called Freya. After seeing her, I've come to realize that I like women. After so many bad experiences dating women (not their fault, but the fault of being a young queer kid in a shitty environment), I kinda shut off my attraction to them. But now, while I still think of myself as aroace and the prospect of relationships make me cringe, I know that I would much rather date a woman than a man. That's beyond questioning.

But also, I have such a strong feeling of gender envy when I look at her. A feeling that I've literally never felt for anyone or anything else. I desperately want to look like her, and it made me so confused and scared, because... Does this mean I'm not tied to masculinity? I've fought so many years to be seen as a man, I've failed too much but kept going, and now I want to look like a woman.

I don't see myself as female, or feminine. I don't like it when people use she/her pronouns referring to me. My country's language doesn't have any gender neutral pronouns, just she or he, so that wouldn't be an option. Deep down, I just want to look like her, but I still want to be called he/him. Ideally, I would love to be seen as a genderless human, and to not be tied to pronouns or anything at all, really. But reality is something we can't escape, and the compromise, the "least bad" option, is to be seen as a man.

What the fuck am I? After all these years, am I just a woman in denial? I'm scared that, if I ever proceed to look more like that character, I would get misgendered a whole lot more, and would be throwing all my struggles in the trash. All those fights my younger self fought to get to where we are now, to cut our hair short, to be a man. I don't even like calling myself a man anymore. Like... What the fuck?

Sorry for the long confession, but I just really needed to have someone else's opinion on this. Even if it's just to say I'm being overdramatic.

#agender #transgender #trans #trans masc #transmasc #trans masculine #transmasculine #trans man #trans boy #transgender man #transgender boy #trans guy #transgender guy #ftm #afab #dating #relationships #autism #autistic #neurodivergent #neurodiverse #aromantic #asexual #aroace #aspec #aro #ace #arospec #acespec #arose

[carcharsaur]

I like doing my little rant posts 2 people read so I'm doin it again this year :] this time I finished something way sooner too

fatamoru... took me half a year to get myself to actually read it but well it's a classic and it's good as hell what can I say (spoilers under cut)

gonna link my longass livetweet thread here for posterity so it's not completely lost in the mire

this felt so targeted though it's legit dumbfounding. I went into it only recalling 1 and a halfish spoilers of 1) michel is the MC and 2) he had trans stuff going on and honestly if anything my jumping at shadows and going HUH WAIT ? the whole time knowing that kinda heightened the experience for me early on. I was about to say at first it was hard to know what parts of the story I should really sink my teeth into but I think that was the intended experience... these stories aren't yours etc... the atmosphere and ost especially is also like soooo crazy good I was worried it'd be hard for me to stay focused on this game without voice acting but I was surprised how well it stuck even if some of the sfx are very obviously old and scuffed none of them took me out of it much (this has been a legit issue for me with some games.. the otomate sound library is really scuffed sometimes LOL) and even when the game was going over the same events, in different contexts etc it never started grating on me so that is a huge W. too many fucking games act like you just weren't paying attention when you were reading and it not only pisses me off but it's just so boring. so this avoiding that entirely was really good. GRIPPING. some of it was so edge of my seat I think I played for like 10 or more hours straight I thought I was gonna die but in a good way LMAO I don't think I have anything interesting or poignant to say about the actual story itself other than despite everything I want jacopo dead, I totally get the point about letting go and moving on and a cycle needing to be broken and it was visceral and moving and so real to me. but also. jacopo deserved all that shit. everything else though I'm just sitting there yelling TRUE AS HELL!!!!!! really loud. I love you michel I love you giselle I'm gonna get u outta there morgana. wait I lied. morgana as the white haired girl. it's not fucking fair.... I wanted to save her... I do think 'she' truly did become part of morgana again though, based just on how scared morgana was of didier at the end, at the cries of being called an unholy witch... a fear that only she held, morgana sort of reveled in being a witch in the course of carrying out the cruelty. but the saintly part of her feared that fall, that complete inversion of her self and the hatred it pointed towards her as well... man : ( ........... : (

I could write an essay specifically on the ways I relate to michel to a like genuinely scary degree the overlap made me sick to my stomach in the best way. but honestly I would be a weepy mess at the end of it so I don't wanna do all that. as an aside though apparently the author(s) have said he's "only intersex, not trans" but man I think that's a stupid as hell delineation to make. he's both. he was assigned 'female' at birth and was raised as a woman and chafed against the social role of 'woman'. IF ANYTHING I relate to him more about not necessarily feeling dysphoric/lacking in regard to his genitals on his own but more about the fact that that somehow invalidates his status as a 'man' being something that torments him. it's a topic that overlaps imo. but the fact the game handles it with as much tact as it does while being as old as it is surprised me. though I could see it being still too upsetting for some because the depiction of the trauma is kind of like. viscerally too real almost. when giselle described her abuse... it wasn't even descriptive in the disgusting voyeuristic way it so often is in other places, but the representation of how it just feels to be subject to that was so real that it really really fucked me up... I'M DOING THE THING I JUST SAID I SHOULDN'T AAHHH but well. it's really good. it's like eating a heavy but hearty meal where it's so good but I can feel it sitting in my stomach and the weight of it just makes me groan. does this even make sense anymore. man.

ok a selection of my fav screengrabs to play me off before I continue in such a manner.

GISELLE PUFFED CHEEKS VERY CUTE

#car's 2024 media #MY ONE SINGLE NITPICK I didn't like how gaze-y a lot of the giselle CGs felt especially considering the context but that's about it #well one nitpick other other than. jacopo moments #car talking

[cavegirlpoems]

in which i unpack my thoughts on netflix’s sandman.

So like, I read the sandman comics at a, uh, formative age. There was stuff in there that was, with hindsight, perhaps not great for a twelve-year-old to be reading but other bits were Big and Important and Shaped Who I Ended Up Being. Like with thirty years of hindsight we can find issues with how Wanda is treated, but for eggy twelve-year-old me, she was the first time I’d seen a trans person depicted as anything but a punchline or monster, and the last sympathetic trans woman I’d see in fiction for another decade or so. So that was a big deal. And like, there are characters in there who were a big fucking deal to me. Rose Walker and Thessaly and Lyta Hall were just... these were images of femininity that I could see myself in. They shaped me and my view on what gender *can be* and that influence has had knock on effects on the woman I ended up as. Also Merv is just fucking cool. Look at him.  So I was a fan from a young age, and have remained a fan for a long time.  This, I hope, should establish my credentials as an actual fan, since that seems to be a thing nerdy women need to do in order to be taken seriously when talking about Nerd Shit. Anyway.  It’s my personal opinion that adaptations of things you love mostly suck. What makes it work in one medium will fail in another, and seeing the work you love distorted and contorted by the needs of the new medium will just make you see all the ways the adaptation fails. There have, in my experience, been very few cases where something I’m into has been adapted successfully. The first silent hill film was actually pretty good. The comic of Coraline by p craig russel is another, as was the stop-motion film, more or less. The first and third lord of the rings films. But these are exceptions. Often you can’t jam a book-shaped peg into a film-shaped hole, or what have you. So the fact that The Sandman - something that had been kinda formative for me - never got adapted - was considered ‘unfilmable’ even - that was comforting to me. I’d never be there being all ‘see how they butchered my baby’ with it like I was with the His Dark Materials film. And then it turns out that they were going to adapt it, and I got very very scared that they were gonna slice all of the queerness and angry feminity and pain - all of the stuff that made me care about it - out of it. So seeing that the casting etc was super fucking queer, and that Neil was afaict directly involved with stuff? That they GOT IT? That was comforting. Like I was sceptical, but hey, maybe it’ll be good? I don’t know, yet. I’ve seen netflix’s track record when it comes to finishing series it starts, and I don’t trust them. Once it’s complete, I’ll watch it, because starting watching something with that much personal emotional weight to it only to have it just stop in mid-flow isn’t something I’m willing to do to myself. But I’m confident! It looks good! I’m excited! Oh, but the fandom. The fandom response has been, I dunno. What I expected, but not what I’d have wanted. There’s shipping, of course. This is the first time I’ve been exposed to Fandom Culture interacting with something *I* cared deeply about. It’s a weird feeling.  I mean it was inevitable. Morpheus is a skinny and angsty white boy who dresses weird. (except for the various times he’s not, but I don’t think those have come up yet from what I can tell). So, of course, one of the biggest fandom responses I’ve seen has been the desire to ship him with a man. For some reason, we just gotta get this twink a boyfriend. It’s not that there’s no gay characters to yaoi-fy in the sandman. The text is fucking crawling with gay stuff. It’s really incredibly gay.  And like, I dunno how to explain this, but Morpheus is written... pretty het. Like, ‘Dream keeps falling in love with women and then treating them horribly’ is... it’s like one of the main plot threads. It’s not a side thing, it’s a centrel pillar of Why The Plot Ends Up That Way. These (universally tragic) straight romances are kinda central to his arc. *Speaking as a gay person*, not everything needs to be made gay, sometimes you can just enjoy a straight story for what it is. I quite like Love Is War, for example, despite the fact that kaguya is straight. i digress. And then the other character that seems to have really taken off is The Corinthian. Again, I suppose it was inevitable. He’s another skinny white boy, and this time he’s Dark and Scary and does Crimes. At least this one is actually textually gay. Still. Entirely predictable, and the fandom fizz is catering to an audience that I don’t share tastes with. They find men hot, for example. Not everybody is lesbians, though, I guess, and that’s not their fault. Death is a pretty fucking central character and her casting is *perfect* everything I’ve seen of her makes me go YES THEY GET IT. and I want to roll around in gifs of her being kind and cool and humane and just... nada. All the shit that *mattered* to me? That made me *care* about the sandman as a series? Well, most of those characters are women, and most of the ones that aren’t (Fiddler’s Green, Merv, and Lucifer) are fat, working class, and played-by-a-woman-in-the-adaptation respectively, so no yaoi for them.  Like I was *shocked* not to see The Fandom Discussion about Lucifer. Turns out there was an unexpected but obvious reason why not. I suspect this is a relief. I’d hate to see Merv get Sans Undertale-ified. Please, for the love of all that is holy, don’t make Merv a sex symbol. It’d only go to his head. (obviously the fash are very angry that the adaptation has queers and non-white people and yucky girls in it, and whilst it’s very funny to see them angrily demand that it should stay faithful to the source material by not having gay stuff forced in, honestly who fucking cares what the fash think. they’ll get angry at a fucking yoghurt commercial. fuck ‘em. this isn’t for them, it never was, and they can choke on it and die angry) I dunno, though. The Sandman, as a series, is fucking full of female characters that are well-written and nuanced and explore different facets of femininity (particularly queer femininity), and I just... kinda don’t see that discussed as much. Maybe when (or if) netflix gets to volumes like A Game Of You and The Kindly Ones, we’ll see more of it. I don’t see much discussion of the cool weird mythological stuff, or the stuff with Lucifer and my Bad Bitch Mazikeen either. Fuck, I love Mazikeen. She is, so far, the only canon character in anything ever that I’ve done cosplay for. Her casting is perfect. I want mazikeen to step on me. I digress again. It’s just... weird, I guess. Having this series that’s been so personal to me and has so far flown so far under the radar of pop-nerd-culture suddenly be the topic of conversation. I’m part of A Fandom now, whether I want to be or not. And that’s... an unsettling feeling. I feel strangely alienated from something that I found formative. And like, I don’t wanna gatekeep, or say that the people discussing it aren’t Real Fans. That’s a shitty thing to do, and I’m pretty sure a good chunk of the people posting about the sandman are, like me, people who were invested in it years ago and are just taking the chance to talk about it now it’s in the zeitgeist.  Go read the comics, they’re amazing. Order the whole lot to your local library, or buy ‘em if you’re rich. But in the past, the sandman was something that a tiny slice of queer nerdy art-crowd-kids were into. It was the Bauhaus of comics, y’know? And it suddenly blowing up and going mainstream is... It’s a lot to adjust to, I guess.  So that’s what this post is, I suppose. Me vomiting all that out into a stream of consciousness weird-ass blogpost about my feelings about this. Fandom’s weird, y’all. I’m still excited to watch it. And if you haven’t read the comics, OH BOY OH GOLLY are you in for a treat. Just wait until they film The Kindly Ones and you’ll have rose’s little monologue about love and it’ll break your fucking heart. I hope it doesn’t get cancelled until we get that scene, and also the really touching scene where dream his big sister’s hand. 

#sandman #the sandman #fandom shit #sandman spoilers

[bowie-boy]

Favorite LGBT+ headcanons for X-Files characters? Mine is that pretty much every main F.B.I. agent(including Krycek) is either bisexual or asexual(or both)! :)

This has been in my inbox for months and I keep forgetting about it I’m so sorry but TODAY IS THE DAY!!!! Happy TDOV Fox and @himbo-mulder (this is my response to your ask too)

LGBTQ X-Files Headcanons Because Someone Asked

Fox Mulder:

Bi and trans icon

The first person he told was Samantha

She accepted him immediately as her big brother and told him he should name himself Fox (it was her favorite animal at the time)

He was going to make his name William Mulder Jr. up until she disappeared, in which he actually decided to make his first name Fox (he misses her 🥺)

Came out to his parents sometime in high school, both took it badly

Bill was hella transphobic—he was already pretty shitty to Mulder but this added a whole new layer to it

Teena was more passive aggressive about it but still made withering comments about how she “lost two daughters now”

Some high school friends (*chants* PHOEBE AND GIMBLE PHOEBE AND GIMBLE) helped Mulder start T and change his legal name on government documents before he left for Oxford

Mulder wanted to go stealth while he was there but came out to Phoebe

When they broke up, she outed him to everyone

Things got so bad that he almost dropped out

Mulder joined the FBI, excited at the prospect of knowing no one and being able to go exclusively by his last name

He was somewhat happy of his solitude in the basement—no one really looked into him past his spooky nature, so no one could find out he was trans

Since Samantha, Scully was the first person who was truly accepting of who he really was

Got top surgery sometime before Colony

Definitely fell in love with Scully right after reading her profile skrjnwkdjwka

Mulder and Krycek were definitely an item for a hot sec until Krycek went evil

Mulder is 500% faithful to Scully but kinda had a crush on Doggett for a little bit

Mulder just wants to be a better dad than Bill 🥺🥺🥺

Mulder helped Byers realize he was trans!!! More on that later though

Dana Scully:

A bi queen

Definitely experimented in college and had a couple girlfriends there and through med school

Ending up breaking up with a girl she was really close with because Scully’s job was just putting too much strain on their relationship

It was really hard on her and made her swear off serious relationships for a long time

She thought Mulder was adorable from the moment she saw him but was really scared of actually developing feelings for him so she pushed it down

And kept pushing it down until she finally realized Mulder was never going to hurt her and actually let him in

I’m just ranting about MSR now oops

100% faithful to Mulder but thought Reyes was super hot

Scully is just a distinguished bi idk what else to say

Walter Skinner:

You can’t adopt THAT MANY LGBT agents if you’re not LGBT yourself, right?

Definitely bisexual

Grew up in a really conservative family and didn’t even consider it an option until he moved out

Skinner was attracted to a lot of guys in his squad in Vietnam but he thought it was just because there were no women around

(Spoiler alert: it wasn’t)

Skinner fell in love with John “Kitten” James and he fell hard

Absolutely did everything possible to protect that man

He was terrified of his feelings though and pushed them down, eventually starting to resent his best friend for making him feel things he couldn’t understand

When Kitten got infected by that gas, Skinner put his values over the man he loved, not just because he thought it was the right thing to do, but because he was terrified that he might be bi

He has regretted it ever since

Married his wife after the war and had a pretty good relationship until he became too consumed with his work

Their breakup was really hard on him and he delved even more into his work

Sometime after Avatar (maybe by season 5 or 6), Skinner meets a really lovely man and that man becomes his boyfriend

It’s really hard at first, but the guy helps Skinner to open up and allow himself to be okay with who he really is

They make time for each other outside of work and are really happy together!

Skinner’s boyfriend is 100% okay with the fact that Skinner has basically adopted all these agents

Skinner is everyone’s dad!!! No exceptions

John Byers:

Trans man!!!!

Discovered it pretty late in life, like he knew earlier but he Repressed it

First person he ever came out to was Mulder (as in my fic 😌)

Lots of internalized transphobia in this man but Mulder and the Lone Gunmen really helped him break out of that

Langly and Frohike obviously went with him to get his first T shot and chanted “MAN JUICE” while it happened (scaring a lot of the nurses)

Met Susanne before he transitioned so seeing her again in Three of a Kind was a little terrifying for him

She accepts him though and is a bi icon herself

Byers wears suits so much because they make him feel really validated

Ringo Langly:

Non-binary and gay!! Langly uses any pronouns (gonna stick to he/him for this list to keep things simple though)

Grew up pretty unaware about gender as a whole, just living his life

Moving away from home to a city was huge for him, he started going to gay bars and really realized that he was gay

Eventually started to experiment with his gender, using different pronouns etc., and found out he was non-binary!

Came out to Frohike shortly after learning Frohike was bi (more on that later)

Goes by Ringo because it’s somewhat gender neutral

He isn’t dysphoric very often but when he is it’s very hard for him to cope, Byers and Frohike are always there to support him and help however possible though

Langly gets way more dates than Frohike and loves to brag about it

Melvin Frohike:

We stan one funky little bi king

HE WAS AT STONEWALL I’LL DIE ON THIS HILL

Frohike had a mega crush on Mulder when he first met him and it persisted all the way until he met Scully

And then when he met Doggett he crushed on him too

Frohike is just kind of a hopeless romantic okay I love him

Absolutely bonds with Scully and they always debate which celebrity is hotter while they get more and more drunk

John Doggett

GAY MAN

Doggett was really repressed for a lot of his life, not because he thought his family would hate him for being gay but mostly because of his environment

(He was a drama kid though)

The military REALLY repressed him and thoroughly fucked him up

It wasn’t until he met Reyes that he started to accept himself more

At first Reyes being a lesbian totally freaked him out and he was really upset, leading to a huge strain on their friendship, but one night he broke down and told her he was pretty sure he was gay

Reyes really helped him through everything, especially his divorce from his wife and the loss of his son

Doggett eventually came out to his dad, who was super accepting

It took Doggett a long time to be comfortable enough to date but he started and met a really great guy, one who he’s now married to

One day he mentioned his boyfriend in passing and the rest of the Spooky Squad totally flipped out because they had no idea he was gay

Doggett just straight-faced “I didn’t think it was relevant?”

Sings musical theater songs in the office when no one else is there

Monica Reyes:

A lesbian

There isn’t a straight bone in her body have you SEEN her???

Absolutely crushed on Scully for the longest time at first, totally backed off when she realized she was involved with Mulder

Total mlm/wlw solidarity with Doggett

Reyes is super comfortable with her sexuality

I’m convinced that she’s married and she and her wife live in the same neighborhood as Doggett and his husband

Running out of brain power at this point but I just love her so much??? Mwah

Alex Krycek:

Gay rat

Everything he did against Mulder and Scully was fueled by spite at his ex-boyfriend Mulder

Daddy issues

Sometimes he breaks into TLG’s base and vibes with them for a few days

Rat (affectionate)

Deep Throat:

Gay :)

Bonus: Melissa Scully is a trans lesbian and Samantha Mulder is bisexual and they’re dating

#jack’s posts #the x files #txf #x files #fox mulder #trans fox mulder #bi fox mulder #dana scully #walter skinner #alex krycek #john byers #ringo langly #richard langly #melvin frohike #john doggett #monica reyes #melissa scully #samantha mulder #long post

[goatbi]

Wow, realized a thing, and am now no longer paying attention to class, here’s some stuff for HVLRAI characters cause why not. This was like... just recently thought about, so it may contradict past writings of mine, but this’ll be it going forwards if I’m writing from the perspective of my own science team. 

Gordon: Trans Man, uses he/him pronouns, Pansexual. In the HEV suit, he was around 6′1″, because the boots where basically platform shoes, and he was just very large. Outside of it, he pops down to around 5′7″, and Bubby holds this over his head forever. Fat man! Large, which, while a good amount of it is muscle, because this bitch strong as hell, he’s still fat. Because that’s canon. fight me about it. Has a prosthetic that looks similar to the HEV suit, completely functional as Bubby was the one who made it, and he’s also the one to keep up with maintenance on both Gordon and Coomer’s various mechanical limbs. 

Benrey: Doesn’t know what a gender is, just kinda vibes. He/They/Dae pronouns used interchangeably. Bi Ace. Height can fluctuate, but usually stays around 5′5″, just cause they like it there. Whatever body type he wants at the time, doesn’t actually care. Makes himself a bit bigger when he lays on top of Tommy, cause Tommy likes pressure stims like that, but other than that... They’re pretty nebulous, actually. He has a few random scars from various times he’s died, but they’re all pretty faint and he treats them like a story. He has the one across his middle from where he was bisected by the door, a few gunshot ones. The only ones dae doesn’t parade about like that is the ones from the final battle, because it makes the others uncomfortable. 

Tommy: Non-Binary, uses he/him, also Ace, but isn’t entirely sure on the romantic side of things where he stands. 7′2″ currently, but does have the ability to change that. He can get taller, and he actually stopped somewhere around eight feet when he stopped growing naturally, but he decided to stay shrunken a bit, for comfort reasons. Not too comfortable, but Tommy doesn’t like shrinking further than that, so that’s where he stays. Tall and thin, but not weak. I think of like, thin like a swimmer’s build? I guess. So he’s strong as hell. He has a few burn scars, from way before he knew how to control the abilities of the star in him, and keeps them around as a reminder to be careful with his abilities, since he could get rid of them easily if he so desired. 

Bubby: What’s a gender? He doesn’t give a shit what pronouns you use for him, so most people just default to he/him, but he did like Xe/Xem, so that does get used a lot more often.  6′ even, and was so annoyed over Gordon being one inch taller than xem, and held it over Gordon’s head when he got out of the HEV suit. Also kind of thin, but that’s more due to Black Mesa mistreatment than anything on his part. Is pretty strong as well, though does get more so once he’s actually, y’know, able to exist without worrying about Black Mesa. A lot of random scars from various experiments from Black Mesa. He’s most freaked out around the Y-cut scar on his chest, since he remembers getting that one, and it’s just not a fun time. Most xe doesn’t like. He also has a few burn scars from xyrs fire abilities before they figured out how to make him immune to them. 

Coomer: Canonically Bi babey, let’s get that rep in. He/It pronouns! 5′2″, small round man. Very kind. The weight of metal limbs means that he’s pretty strong as is, but because of those metal limbs, it’s technically the strongest of the group, if you go by pure physical strength. The power legs cause him to go flying into the air as seen, but also absorbs the impact of the fall, leaving Coomer with little to no damage. The extendo arms have a full length, but what that is is actually unknown, simply because of the fact that Coomer has never found the need to go past a comfortable length, ie, across the room to grab the remote when no one wants to get up. Scarring around his legs where he got the power legs, which I believe to be just above the knee, since that was caused by an accident, but the scaring for the extendo arms were surgical and actually an experiment by Black Mesa that one of the clones volunteered for and it ended up getting instead, so there’s less scarring there simply because it wasn’t a traumatic injury. I mean, it wasn’t fun for Coomer, but it wasn’t explosion in the lab, wake up with metal legs type deal. 

Darnold: Genderfluid, He/Him or She/Her depending. Usually wears a lil pin to signify which set it is that day. Bi. He’s about 6′5″, so tall, but not as tall as Tommy, as no one is as tall as Tommy on a normal day. Pretty built, though physically looks smaller than Forzen, simply because his shoulders aren’t nearly as broad. Is actually stronger than them, basing it purely on weight lifting abilities. His hands are pretty scarred and calloused, from his work, and the scars can travel up to his arms on occasion, but he is very very careful when he works, so there aren’t a lot there. Has a prosthetic leg, his left leg, from an accident when he was around seven. Doesn’t like to talk about it. Bubby offered to give him some enhancements to it, but Darnold is comfortable with just a normal prosthetic, nothing fancy like Coomer or Gordon. 

Forzen: They/Them. Doesn’t know exactly what their gender is, just knows pronouns. Actually, that’s literally the only thing they’re sure about. Everything else is a nebulous concept, but they know they are not straight, that’s really it. around 6′3″.  I’d compare them more to like a body builder? Very broad shoulders to begin with anyways. Pretty scarred up, though most of them are completely not what you’d expect. They have a scar on the back of their ankle from sliding through the kitchen in socks and running into a cabinet. there’s a small burn scar on their arm from where they reached into the toaster oven wrong. They are littered with the dumbest scars imaginable, nothing from actually being in the military like one would expect. Is also only in the military because they wanted to do a college thing but couldn’t pay for it, and ended up not leaving. 

G-Man: Does not use pronouns, agender, aro ace. G-Man just went ‘no’ to everything, and now vibes in the void. Is always taller than you, unless you are taller than Tommy, as G-Man will never be taller than Tommy. Often times goes for a more skeletal form, cause it scares more people that way. Tall, skeletal, sucks the light out of a room? terrifying. Doesn’t keep scars, simply because G-Man doesn’t want to have scars. No real blemishes, though has formed a large amount of freckles from exposure to Tommy, since he is a star, and has not gotten rid of those. G-Man actually finds them very sweet, and has thus refused to get rid of them on principal. Ruins the spooky vibe that G-Man’s usually got going, but, for Tommy, G-Man would do anything. 

#writing stuff needed for me #hlvrai character ideas #<- that's just for me to find this again #im gonna finish g-man's repentance with the no pronoun things and go back and edit that in the earlier chapters but #only edits im making to past things from before this

[gettin-bi-bi-bi]

i'm a girl and i identify as a bisexual but i just came to the realisation that since few days i've been feeling like i want to be in a same sex relationship with a man and in an opposite sex relationship with a girl, but i actually don't feel bad being a girl so does it mean i could be trans? could there be a different reason i feel like that? i'm kinda scared :(

Anything is possible, I guess. Maybe you are a trans guy, maybe you're non-binary, maybe you're a cis woman. I don't know.

What I do know is that a lot of queer women (even cis ones) have a complicated relationship to gender. It is totally possible to both feel good as a girl and wanting to identify that way and still... you know... wanting to ~queer things up~ in your sexual fantasies or romantic ventures. It may also just be a thing about rejecting traditional gender roles so your brain plays a little "trick" on you and reshuffles the gender cards so you can play the game while making up your own rules (did this metaphor grow old yet?).

In the previous post I also casually mentioned "girlfags" and "guydykes" which are identities that describe an experience that could be close to what you're feeling. A girlfag would be a woman (or woman-aligned person) who is attracted to men "in a gay way" and wishes for those men to reciprocate the attraction "in a gay way". Gender plays a huge role in those identities and the way their sexual attraction relates to both their own gender and that of the person they are attracted to can be very complex. Because how is someone confident in being a woman but wants to be seen/loved/fucked like a gay man? Maybe that's where gender really starts to show itself as the social construct that it is. Humans are so much more complex than a gender binary could ever put into words. And so girlfags and guydykes exist no matter how contradictory their identities may seem.

I kinda relate to the term "girlfag" btw, though I don't use it as a descriptor for myself. But I #get it. When I'm attracted to a man I have a strong sense of that attraction being the thing that's ~making me queer~. Where others would say a woman being attracted to a man is "straight attraction" (nevermind how biphobic that sentiment is) I feel like my attraction to men is inherently queer and thus I relate more to gay men than to straight women. I guess you could say: I want men to be attracted to me more because I'm queer and less because I'm a woman. And for a long time I wished I could "have sex with a man as a gay man". Not to go into too much detail now but despite all of that I never identified as anything other than a woman.

Whether you can relate to that is for you to figure out. Maybe Max or Wes want to add their perspectives as trans men to this bc I definitly don't want to dismiss the fact this could also be a sign of being transgender.

But if you keep identifying as a woman then I don't find it at all surprising that you might have those moments where you basically "gender swap" your fantasies. Sounds pretty queer to me and either way: no cause for concern.

Maddie

[irinanonyme]

The whole stupid "Carole and Tuesday VS Yuri On Ice" thing (I'm kind of angry and it's long but if you have like 10 minutes you're welcome to read)

Hey, so I've seen a bunch of people throwing shade lately because "Carole and Tuesday doesn't have as much popularity as Yuri On Ice did and it just shows what kinda people those fans are."

People saying that just because it's not on Netflix yet it's not an excuse and then they compare it to Violet Evergarden.

Frickin' Violet Evergarden people.

Which is like, the worst example you can give. You're talking about an anime who was hyped up since back in May 2016 and released 2 years later in January 2018 not to mention that it's made by goddamn KYOTO ANIMATION. It ain't Bones my friends, yes Bones is great but Kyoani is just up there somewhere. Did you see A Silent Voice? Did you see Hibike Euphonium?? The trailer for Violet Evergarden has almost 4 million views while the trailer for Carole and Tuesday was released 3 months ago and it has like 400k views. Until now some people didn't even know that the anime is direced by Shinichiro Watanabe, the guy who worked on COWBOY BEBOP and SAMURAI CHAMPLOO.

Also it's not about "not knowing how to use kissanime", some people just want to support the official release financially and legally. Also some other people who already have Netflix accounts got excited when they heard it was coming to the site but now they learn that they have to wait 6 more months until it's fully released. You might love the anime to death and pirating it doesn't mean that you want to disrespect the creators but you sure aren't helping them now are you? I'm not trying to shame people for pirating, hell, I think that everybody on the internet has already pirated something at least once in their life. But please don't look down on people who have the money and are willing to help studios/creators financially. If they want to wait 6 months and binge watch it let them wait 6 months and leave them alone.

Also please don't get started on that whole "fetishizing" thing. I know this is gonna piss of a lot of people but here's the "hot tea" like tumblr users would say: LGBTQ people want to get accepted into a society where about 90% of it are straight people (which is completely fair and they *should* in fact get accepted) but whenever those straight people approve of a same sex ship it's fetishizing? So wait, when a straight girl ships a wlw ship "it's fine and hey girl you might be bi 😉" but if she's shipping a mlm ship it's suddenly "eew you disgusting bitch, fricking fujoshi I bet you jack off to that stuff, huh?" That's just effed up guys.

YOI got popular only after episode 7 because of the kiss, it was so incredible to the point where most people couldn't believe it, some still thought that it was maybe only a hug because it's rare having mlm and wlw relationships in an anime without the "yuri" or "yaoi" tag. It was also because for once a mlm ship wasn't shown in a bad light like having the taller guy rape the shorter guy then ending it up with "haha, omg I actually liked it haha. Now that you forced yourself on me I like you."

Or it being borderline incest like "Wow, even though he's my not-blood-related brother I have feelings for him."

Or having a huge age gap making it a borderline p*do thing like "He's a divorced adult and I'm only a high school student!! Oh gee what shall I do!!"

YOI became popular not because it was fetishized but BECAUSE it was in fact shown to be a healthy relationship by the creators themselves in a different setting than just "school/slice of life" it was a sports anime and there was no indicator of them becoming a thing. Many thought it was like Free where the guys are gonna have "gay undertones" the whole story but never actually get together. From my experience most "YOI haters" are salty people who still remember the stupid 2016 Crunchyroll awards who didn't mean a thing.

Also keep in mind that tumblr is not the whole internet and it doesn't represent everyone and everything. Even if there are surely some who really do fetishize same sex ships I don't think that most of them are YOI and/or Carole and Tuesday fans. People who really ship wlw and mlm ships are most and for all people who accept the LGBTQ community whether they're part of it or not which is already a big step onward for many. There are still some countries out there where you can get killed or sent to prison for being homosexual so when I see people supporting this type of content I get really thrilled. Not to mention that you can't really "accurately" tell who is "fetishizing" those relationships. You might look at a few reblogs and tell yourself that "Yup, this guy/girl is definitely a creep" but the truth is that you don't know. You have no idea who the person behind this reblog is, who's that person behind the screen. Maybe they're like 15/16 and they're not sure of their sexual orientation yet? Do you need to add a lesbian/gay/bi/trans,etc flag on your profile pic for you to be part of the community? No.

I'm honestly kinda tired of this "tumblr culture" where whenever you have an opinion it has to match others' opinions so you don't get hate/death threats by either kids or adults who don't have a grasp on reality and don't tell themselves that maybe "Hey, that person might actually be depressed and she/he might really kill themselves if I send them this so even if I don't agree with them I probably shouldn't."

People starting their posts with "here's the hot take/TED talk, I've been thinking about it for a while but was scared of talking about it" then it turns out that this "hot take" is 80% of the fandom's opinion and the sheeple in the comments somehow seriously think that it's controversial and are like "OMGG SPILL THE TEA SIS YASSS💖"

Or "Thank. You.👏👏 I was actually scared of saying it so I'm glad you did."

Or even "LOUDER FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE BACK SIS!!❤"

We're talking about a site where when you *actually* have a *real* "hot take" people will try to personally murder you and browse through your entire blog during 3 days just to find a stupid thing you said like 4 years ago to write a "call out post" on you with the meme "I'm about to end this man's whole career lol" then they be like "lol you fuckin' (insert bad thing here) supporter! I bet you're (insert mental illness/something that means "sick in the head" with a clever twist on words.)"

Then when you like a certain character or ship you have to make a 5k word explanation post where you start off by saying that you do understand that your "fav" is "problematic" and then you proceed to explain why and then you have to be a victim who was either bullied or taken advantage of in order to make people feel bad for sending you death threats and guilt tripping you so that they can forgive your different tastes and just call it a "coping mechanism" or saying that it's fine if you support that character/ship because you're mentally ill. Oh, and don't forget the apology post where you explain to people that just because you said something stupid when you were 14 on your blog it doesn't mean that you still think that way and that your views changed and yada yada yada.

Like?? What the actual fuck people?

Can't we just have a good time on this site for fuck's sake? Carole and Tuesday has only 5 episode right now which is not even 25% of the story since the anime is supposed to have 24 episodes. It's not available on Netflix yet and some people like binge watching series. Give it time, surely it's gonna get recognition soon and we're here to spread it too. I decided that no matter what I'm gonna have a good time watching this amazing anime and I support both CarDay and Victuri and any other healthy wlw and mlm ship, all LGBTQ people and anyone in this world who isn't a serial killer/terrorist/anything bad (obviously)

Thank you for reading the whole thing (hopefully) and if you don't agree and are about to write something really mean about me don't even bother please, you'll be talking to a brick wall and I only accept civilized conversations👌

#carole and tuesday #carole & tuesday #yuri on ice #carday #victuri #tumblr

[capitainecorbeau]

Yesterday I met with some people I’m probably gonna play ttrpg with (if we can all agree on a date and time), and among them there’s this woman who’s really nice and cool and we’re hitting it off pretty well. We went back home together (she lives right next to me, what are the odds), and we started talking about feminine gender roles and the pressure that comes with it.

She told me she was really happy and relieved when she saw me wearing shorts with unshaven legs, because she doesn’t shave either and she’s always a bit scared when meeting new people, but since I broke the ice on the subject she’s now feeling more confident and won’t be hinding her legs in this group anymore, and. It’s kinda bittersweet because, on the one hand I am genuinely happy that I helped her feel more comfortable expressing herself (that’s one of the reasons why I refuse to hide my unshaven legs anymore), but on the other hand, it was framed as me being a woman defying gender roles and I’m not woman. And I didn’t dare tell her, because everytime I connect with a (cis) woman about how shitty the pressure of feminity is and how we want none of that, I feel like a... traitor ? I guess ? For not “sticking” with being a woman.

(under the cut because that got long)

But after that I reflecting on all that, and it’s wrong. Me being afab doesn’t make me inherently closer to women or womanhood.I’m not a woman and I’ve never been one, I was just forced into that label without my consent, and only ended up begrudgingly adopting it for a while because I thought there was no alternative.

And the thing is, cis women (or more exactly, cis, white, straight, abled, dyadic, thin women) are are held up as THE women holding the true womanhood experiences, and evryone else is compared to them and their experiences in order to decide whether or not they truly are women or not. But those standards are cissexist, transphobic, transmisogynistic (and racist, homophobic etc etc), and just straight up terf rethoric. And it ends up forcefully labelling people as women when they’re not, and violently denying the womanhood of other women, because their experiences are vastly different. But that’s the thing, women’s experiences are vastly different, the myth that there are a set of experience that hold true for all women is a myth. like, they all have violence directed at them for being women, but that violence manifest itself and vastly different ways, to vastly different degrees.

And that’s why the whole “afab nb people/trans men are just women with internalized misogyny” is such bullshit. Like, they don’t specify afab nb people, but somehow I’ve never seen that directed at transfeminine/amab nb people. It’s ridiculous, because anyone, regardless of experiences, agab, etc could technically be, a woman who doesn’t want to accept it because of internalized misogyny. But it’s only ever directed at afab people, because cis women are considered the The True Women, and so every similar exeprience that afab people share with them are regarded as proof that they really are, in fact, women, while simultaneously used to argue that trans women aren’t really women because they don’t share True Womanhood Experiences.

And that kinda bullshit reasoning is everywhere, and one of the main reasons why I’m wary of most feminist spaces. Because a lot of them don’t seem to have reached the conclusion that women are diverse, and therefore have diverse experience, and that there cannot be a one size fits all feminism. Or hell that finding experiences that every women is going to relate to is going to be extremely difficult, and it throws so many women under the bus. That’s why so many pieces of media are held as “feminist” when they only uplift a very specific kind of women : white, cis, straight, abled, thin, dyadic, etc.

I dunno, there are probably many people who have said all that more clearly and concisely, this is just me personally, fully realizing that. And also realizing that, me sharing experiences with (cis) women doesn’t invalidate my gender. it doesn’t make me a self hating woman. My being afab doesn’t make me inherently closer to womanhood than people who aren’t. I can stand in solidarity with women, and even sometimes share their experiences, without being one myself. And finally understanding that has been a huge relief, because while I know that the “nb=internalized misogyny” rethoric is bullshit, it’s still been getting to me. But I finally see now, that I’m not a woman who decided to stop being one to avoid misogyny (because, shock of shock, I do still face misogyny ! Or at least sexism, or just being shat on by the patriarchy because I’m not a cis man). I never was a woman. My being afab doesn’t automatically make me a woman. My thinking I was one doesn’t mean it was true.

#babble #don't reblog please this is just my relections on the subject #again there are people who have probably worded that earlier and better #and the people most affected by that are the women whose womanhood is called into question #especially women of color and trans and queer women #and you should listen to them and boost their words on the subject rather than mine #sexism // #transphobia // #transmisogyny // #terf mention // #ask to tag #anyway realizing all that has bee a huge relief #and hopefully I'm going to feel like less of a fake #ans stop invalidating my gender everytime my experiences happen to match a woman's

[lilopelckai]

|| Get to know LILO who’s TWENTY-ONE years old and a JUNIOR in college majoring in MECHANICS. She is from HAWAII and is often times mistaken for LULU ANTARIKSA while others say she reminds them of LILO from LILO AND STITCH. || 

hello all, it i, pepper coming at ya once again on that new muse juice (... that sounds so gross omg i’m sorry dkjsdkj). today i am HYPE to introduce you all with my bby lilo!! honestly lilo and stitch is one of my fave movies of all time so sdkjsdk NO PRESSURE YK but anyways down bellow will be a bit about ya girl!

BIO (ish, thing tjkfj)

Lilo is weird. She’s a weirdo. She doesn’t fit in, and she doesn’t WANT to fit in. Have you ever seen her without that stupid mumu? That’s WEIRD

dfkdjsdk sorry i had to, i put joke in my app and i had to make it again aNYWAYS FOR REAL NOW

tldr ; she’s lilo, just kinda sadder sdkjds saw her parents die, went to therapy, doesn’t really ever feel like she belongs, is afraid of loving anyone because she’s afraid of losing them, the Works Folks. also teaches hula now! kinda wants to be a photography major! has an instagram following! i think that’s it oof 

For the most part I don’t plan to deviate from Lilo’s cannon storyline too much seeing as you know, she’s a human and not a humanoid turtle that knows karate so I don’t feel like I need to change TOO much BUT i do want to flesh her out a bit.

First, I headcannon that Lilo was actually in the car during her parents car accident. She was in the backseat and came out of the whole thing relatively uninjured physically, but mentally, and emotionally, well, that was a different story. This is the biggest explanation for the darkness deep in Lilo’s psyche, the reason she had to sit through so much therapy with so many psychologists over the years., You see, Lilo was odd prior to the accident but that eccentricity only seemed to be amplified there after. That combined with the fact that all of her friends abruptly abandoned her after her parents death (literally cannon, can you believe it, screw mertle sdkjdsj) Lilo was kind of left in no mans land emotionally. Therapy never really helped her much unfortunately, and for long time Lilo simply tried to do anything she could to cope. Whether that was pretending she and Mertle were still friends, or praying to god for some sort of angel, or getting unfairly angry with her sister. Lilo spent a long time after her parents death just barely trying to keep afloat, until after a while she stopped having to try. She’s gotten so good at pretending she’s okay that she’s almost even convinced herself.

Like I said Lilo has also always been the type that people struggled to understand. She was a harmless girl, but she said odd things without hesitation, and she never quite got along with her peers, or even other adults because of it. Honestly outside of her family Lilo had few friends because no one could really understand her, and despite the pain of that, Lilo swallowed it down and continued on. Pretty soon, Lilo started to get into the habit of keeping people at arms length, of pushing people away before they could reject her. It was easier being the weird girl, being the one people pointed at and whispered about than being the girl who desperately just wanted a friend. So Lilo slowly buried that girl down deep over time. She tries not to let her out, she’s a real buzz kill.

That was until Stitch of course. She let Stitch in. It wasn’t honestly at the time, the part of Lilo that was so desperate for friendship was still open and bleeding then. She accepted Stitch into her life with open arms and little questions, and to this day he’s still her best friend and her brother. He’s one of the few people who have accepted her fully for who she is, weird shit and all, and Lilo couldn’t be more grateful for him.

I have a headcannon that the Pelekai’s kind of became maybe a bit of a group home? Just because of all the experiments who came in and out of their place. In my mind the experiments were children who Lilo, Nani, her uncle Jumba and Aunt Pleakley would do their best to find amazing homes for. This was Lilo’s idea, after meeting Stitch.

Honestly Lilo uses her weirdness as a bit of a shield. If she’s weird enough then it’s like people know who she is immediately, and the people who wouldn’t want to be around her because of it will leave. She wasn’t rejected, and it didn’t hurt because SHE was the one in control if that makes sense? Being as odd as possible is just a way to keep her heart safe sometimes, and when people stick around despite how odd she is Lilo doesn’t really know what to do honestly.

Despite this Lilo is still very friendly. She feels no qualms about talking to people or speaking her mind, honestly, it’s never been something she’s had an issue with. She’s just chosen not to care whether those people actually like her or not, or at least has numbed herself to caring about that if that makes sense.

A rebellious streak a mile wide tbh. Lilo never wants to hurt anybody of course and she never will unless pushed to the breaking point (ex. That one time she lashed out at Mertle) , but she never has been and never will be obedient. She’s known to get into mischief occasionally, and she doesn’t love being told what to do,

HEADCANNONS ;

Still loves photography and actually sometimes considers changing her major. She chose mechanics because the idea of helping Stitch get up into space was something that she was always excited about -- honestly the concept of them being together even in their adult lives was just too reassuring to her-- and she rationalized it all by telling herself that she wanted to take photos for herself and for money. But photography is her passion honestly and she genuinely has a bit of a talent for it. She’s done a few art galleries and won a couple of minor awards, and even in her spare time she tends to walk around Corona with a camera looking for things take pictures of. Her photos aren’t ever exactly… everyone’s cup of tea, but they’re thought provoking at the very least.

In my mind Lilo takes a lot of photos with body diverse models, honestly for the most part she will only take photos of body diverse models.

At this point I think she has photography as her minor.

A bisexual babe because none of my muses are ever straight.

Also a demigirl. Lilo was kind of inspired by her Aunt Pleakley to truly consider her gender (I headcannon that Pleakley is gender fluid or a trans woman but that’s just me) and it was through that careful consideration that Lilo realized she didn’t fully identify as a girl.

Very accepting. Very liberal. Has gotten arrested at a protest once. Very much will stand up for her beliefs and the rights of others dkdsdkjd is Not here for prejudice or toxic masculinity will fight you on sight !!!

Still loves dancing. One of her proudest accomplishments is winning the hula competition that her mother won back home in Kauai. She doesn’t dance professionally in any other styles, but she does love to dance and she will indulge in that from time to time. I think she might teach the occasional hula lesson at the local gym but it’s probably a specialty thing like once every two weeks or something. She does have some regularly who come though and that always makes her happy.

Still loves the ocean and surfing as well, and honestly will go to the ocean no matter the weather and put her wetsuit on to have a good time. You can find Lilo on the beach at anytime, especially when she’s homesick, just smelling the salt of the ocean and riding the waves.

Also still tries to feed Pudge the fish peanut butter sandwiches, because she maintains that he does control the weather (also the fact that there’s a theory that Lilo used to feed pudge the fish because it was raining the day of her parents car crash and she him to make the weather nice so that never happens to anyone again has me FUCKED UP it will always have me FUCKED UP and that is all).

lilo is also a big philiophobe tbh, like i said she has a lot of issues getting attached to people because she feels like they might just leave so love really scares her? and she tends to freak out at just the thought of it so sdksdk love this for her she gets crushes on people occasionally but the moment things start to get serious this bitch will DIP

loves to have fun though! she doesn’t tend to get asked out on a lot of dates tbh but your girl tens to have a few drunken hook ups here and there and she finds those fun. she also regularly likes to go on tinder and fuck with people. not even catfishing them or anything she just likes to message them weird shit and have a good time dkjdf

has a big ass heart tbh. she would give someone the shirt off her back without any hesitation. she’s just a really kind person despite being hurt so much before, and she honestly never intends to hurt anyone even if she does so accidentally or in anger yk? Like if you fucked with her, then she might lash out for a hot minute but after she’s cooled down it’ll be like damn,,, didn’t mean to do that. Honestly she just has a bit of a temper lowkey but she actually feels guilty after unlike some people *cough* local devil kronk turtle man *cough*

Can’t hold a grudge for the life of her. Forgives way too easily rip 

Has a photography instagram that’s actually pretty damn popular! She’s got a good amount of followers on there and while Lilo’s proud she doesn’t really know what to do with all the positive attention on her weird as shit photos?

WANTED CONNECTIONS ;

i have a wanted connection tag here! check it out and if anything in there catches your eye just lemme know!

GIRL SQUAD ; please. please. i’m out here,,, beggin fdkdfkfd i really want lilo to have some female friends okay just a cute little squad of buds, i’m picturing the skam girl squad, i’m picturing those girls from pretty little liars that i can’t remember the name of, i’m picturing idk the girls from that one movie with tiffany haddish jsut sds pLEASE Y’ALL vanellope & tink

EX-SOMETHING ; this could either be someone who like actually got close enough for lilo to freak the freak out and dip like someone she nearly fell in love with or fell in love with her and kind of triggered her GOTTA GO reflex lmao or someone she casually dated for the fun of it, maybe they even went on a few dates before they realized they were better as friends?

ENEMIES ; someone who doesn’t like lilo and lilo doesn’t like in return. Or maybe it’s one sided we can plot it out!

PARTNER IN CRIME ; this is the person who Lilo will end up in prison with. This is the person who she goes to when she just wants to go crazy aaah go stupid. Love this for her. caitlin !

PHOTOGRAPHY BUD OR MUSE ; exactly what it says on the tin. Someone who will let Lilo sit on their shoulders so she can Get That Shot. Somebody who will be like Tom Holland in this post and Do It For The Gram!!! phoenix

EX-TINDER DATE ; honestly this could align with the second ex something or even the first or be something different completely! but like i said lilo tends to go on tinder dates to mess around with people so she would just be as weird as possible during the date for shits and giggles tbh and it was probably a really fun time unless your muse was really serious about it! We can discuss what happened on the actual date and have a wild time

SOMEONE SHE TUTORS ; surprisingly engineering and other sciences comes really easy to Lilo so this goes out to science majors I suppose! 

A CRUSH ; self explanatory I think but if anyone is willing to let Lilo have a a bit of a crush on their muse hmu. buttercup!

SIBLING LIKE CONNECTION ; !!! love this omg if anyone wants to give Lilo a pseudo sibling i would love this.

FWB/CASUAL HOOKUP ; self explanatory i think

i think that’s all i can think of for now but !!! plot with me please! that is all thank you sdksdjk

#l.p. | bio. #oof finished

[mincamzfic]

when the moon rises (03)

warning: kinda gore kinda not

-03-

PREVIOUSLY... 

“Danger was never a problem for us, Jimin.” Jin stated calmly. He glanced at you once again. “I know you most likely feel angry, misunderstood and out of your liberty. However, we try to prevent the downfall of Jimin by losing his mate and the downfall of the supernatural if another Healer were to be killed. I hope you understand.”

                                                      //

Why did he mean by “the downfall of the supernatural”? It sounded like something straight out of a movie. Were you like superwoman? Does the supernatural world rely on you, now? What the hell, you were living peacefully and discreetly since you knew and now this.

The car pulled up in a very familiar driveway, one you’re slowly growing to despise. Jimin was the first one to get out of the vehicule. He walked fastly towards the house, clearly trying to get away from you as soon as possible. You watched him and once he disappeared, you rolles your eyes and loudly sighed. Hell would start once again. What about your job? Where you really going to be stuck there?

“Y/N, if you don’t start walking, I will drag you in myself.” Jin threatened you. You raised a brow at him, doubtful of his words, while he menacingly looked at you through his slittes eyes. You hated being bratty but honestly, what else could you do? Nothing but show your miscontement. You scoffed, grabbing your bag from the tiled pavement, heading towards the pits of hell.

Right when you came in, the air felt tense. Everyone stopped what they were doing for a moment before miserably trying to ignore your presence. Namjoon came up to you as Jin went off somewhere else.

“Don’t you dare say you’re sorry because if you were I wouldn’t be here.” You spat. You hated this place. You hated Jimin, you hated Jin for lying and teicking you, you hated Namjoon for ordering this for selfish reasons. The man in front of you sighed.

“ I’m sure you’d be glad to meet The Man once again, hm?” He pronounced with his deep voice. It was very reassuring, the way he talked. If it wasn’t for the anger boiling your entire body, you would be as obedient as a puppy and rationalize the situation.

Speaking of which, Namjoon led you to the basement. He said that He would be waiting for you down there. First things first, you had to go through the Healer Ceremony. You’ve heard bits about it but you don’t really rely on oui-dires. You laughed to yourself. This felt like the day day of your execution. Everything drastically turned serious. The whole pack was there, at least, the seven most important of the pack.

“Hello again, Y/N.” The Man spoke gravely, as usual. “ Please lay down on this table. The ceremony will begin.” he motionned with his hand.

You took a step back. What was the rush? You didn’t understand what was going on.

They all looked at you intently, waiting for you to move. But you wouldn’t. And you didn’t like the attention you were getting.

You coughed, feeling uncomfortable. “ Why do I need this ceremony, though? What does it do?” you asked.

You heard a ‘tsk’ somewhere to your left. “Just get on the damn table Y/N.” A voice you knew too well said.

“You can always leave, if this is a waste of time for you.” The Man intervened. “However, since she his your mate, I would not suggest.” The Man then turned to you. “The Healer’s Ceremony determines your faith. While you will be on this table, you will experience The Vision. It shows you a glimpse of what the futur will bring you. As a Healer, depending on what The Vision showed, it is your duty to change the future or manifest it.”

You weren’t convinced but how bad could it be? You walked towards the wooden table. You lightly hiked your leg up before stopping mid-air. You hesitated. The Man encouraged you with a motion of his hand. For once, his face was reassuring and not cold.

“And what happens if I don’t do it?” You asked, putting your lef back down.

“You will fail. No matter your attemps on saving people or by your ability with frequencies, it will be too chaotic. This Ceremony lays out your life, their lives, on a map.” He answered you, solemnly.

Still hesitant, you sat on the table before laying down. The Man placed down crystals of prtection as he recited a protection spell you recognized. He then insteucted you that the Ceremony would now begin. He chanted another spell that put you in a trans. You felt like your were floating in the air, the same feeling one would get before having the illusion of falling down. Your head hurt. Your muscles tensed so hard you thought they would crush your bones. You whimpered in pain. Your nails digged into the surface beneath you. Wood went under your nails, your skin started to bleed. You felt like falling before everything went still. You even thought your heart stopped beating. It felt like forever when you took your first breath.

On the outside, in the real world, The Man verified the time. 8 minutes. 8 minutes that you were out. The Ceremony usually last for more or less 15 minutes.

“What do we do,now?” Jungkook asked.

“We wait.” Jin responded, in a matter-of-fact way.

*Back into your mind, you could see. Now you saw what The Universe wanted to show you, what The Universe wanted you to refrain from happeneing.

The Man saw your hands shaking. He checked the time. 11 minutes. He would start worrying yet. Once 15 minutes would strike, he had to pull you out, if you hadn’t already.

*Blood. So much blood. You heard pained howls, pained cries. You thought one of them was yours. Whom were you crying for?

Another scenery.

You were alone. You were in a forest, one you weren’t familiar with. There was mist. It was raining. You looked down. Corpses. Corpses of wolves everywhere. Werewolves. You felt yourself scream and kneel down. It was the cry you had heard earlier. It was really yours. You cries for the wolf in front of you. Who was it? You felt intense love for that person, to see its dead body felt like someone ripped half of you. You felt empty.

17 minutes. Your eyes were convulsing and also your body. He had to pull you out. The Man searched through his herbs, he couldn’t find anything.

“What’s happening?” Jimin asked, worry filling his voice. He hated to sound like he cared, if it wasn’t for his wolf trying to win over, he wouldn’t be bothered.

“Boys, keep him in check. His wolf will take over sooner or later, I don’t want him near her! You heard me?” The Man shouted, panic slowly creeping up to him. It is not normal for a Healer to be out so long during the ceremony. He didn’t want to risk losing you.

*Another scenery.

It was chaos. You were dying. Your energy was being drained. They had won.

Your nose was bleeding, you were still convulsing. Where was that damn plant when he needed it?

“What the hell his happening?” Jimin growled. This was both a question addressed to himself and a question from his wolf adressed to The Man. A roar. The Man stood still. Red eyes watched him.

“Hello, Raven.” The Man slowly turned around. The room went silent. Only your body hitting the table and erratic breathing was heard. “Please, let me do my work. She will be fine.” The Man wasn’t scared of the wolf but he knew Raven couls be vengeful.

Jungkook let out his canines and claws, amber irises glowing his eyes. Namjoon, as the Alpha, showed his glowing red eyes to the younger Alpha. They shared a look with the Beta before nodding to each other. Raven was pushed back by the two other wolfs, the rest of the pack in defense mode. This let The Man do his work. He heard roars, slamming on the wall and struggling. He didn’t have much time. 21 minutes that you were out. He abandoned his herbs and casted another spell. He wasn’t used to use those kind of spells, it was one you would use to rejuvenate the Dead. He didn’t like it, but he had no choice. He waited.

A cough.

Everything went still once again. Raven was watching you. He struggled against his brothers even more, he only had you on his mind.

“Let me see her.” He gruffed lowly. “Let me see her!”

A deep breath.

A slow expiration.

#bts #park jimin #kim taehyung #kim namjoon #kim seokjin #jung hoseok #jeon jungkook #min yoongi #bts werewolf au #jimin werewolf au #bts angst #bts fluff #bts smut #jimin angst #jimin fluff #jimin smut #jimin fanfic #bts fanfic #whenthemoonrises

[poisonedapples]

HNNNNG FUCK IT IM SHARING IT BUT IM CHANGING A BIT OF THE WORDING BECAUSE I SOUND STUPID AS FUCK

Okay let’s begin, I’m gonna do some present day commentary in italics while the letter is in bold because I can’t resist

The letter is titled “When you figure it out”:

Wow no introduction to future me, we just straight up jump in, rude “Only you probably know what ‘when you figure it out’ means, and that’s probably why I made it sound so mysterious.” Less mysterious more ominous as fuck “This letter is for when you figure out your gender, and when everything [starts to make sense]. Right now I think [I might just be] genderfluid, but the confusion is still there, you know? [I could be] genderfaun, or demiboy, or a feminine trans guy.” Wait, I actually don’t remember considering I’m just trans? The idea scared me too much I guess, so I threw it away pretty quick “But I also don’t mind being female sometimes” that’s called ‘not having crippling dysphoria and accepting your fate for a day’, friend “and other days are just confusing. Maybe [I could be] genderflux as well?” YOU ARE OVERTHINKING SHIT YOU CONSTANTLY ANXIOUS BIRD CHILD “The questions never really seem to stop sometimes” Oh trust me they don’t “but experimenting is making me pretty happy right now. [I’m writing this while] “binding” (not really, it’s a sports bra and my chest is still giant) [skipping this entire part it’s too bad hnnnnng] but MAN is it hard to be descreet!” you spELLED DISCREET WRONG But you right “[Skipping this part too but just know that I needed rubber bands for a thing] and I was sneaking around looking for some. The privacy of night time has literally become my best friend.” oh my God you right “And lately I’ve also been looking around at kids at school and just wondering, how many of them aren’t cis? How many recoil at the sound of their birth name? Their present-day pronouns? I’ve been thinking about it a lot,” A large understatement “but names are pretty fun to think about.” HA NOT REALLY WHEN YOURE HAVING AN IDENTITY CRISIS This is literally why I made the story Deadname you heathen “The name Sparrow is finally mine” honestly though, I always wanted that name “and I’m [thinking about having] a seperate name for male days” Did you mean: Every day? And also, you feeling weird being called Sparrow isn’t you changing on certain days you heathen, that’s you adjusting, which you are still kinda doing “It’s nice not being called my birth name honestly,” you are so right, I hate my birth name “and I finally have that name I always loved as a kid. Also the middle name ‘Lou’, like the male version of Boo’s name.” So actually, fun fact, my middle name has an angsty backstory behind it. ‘Boo’ is what we called my great grandma that was like...one of two people that actually loved me, and she died when I was seven. Her first name was Louetta, so as a bit of a remembrance I made my last name into ‘Lou’ for her, so that’s a more tragic backstory than my first name “It’s a confusing time, but it’s kinda fun.” Not the crisis, that’s not fun, the experimenting is though

“Take care of yourself, Sparrow (maybe Sparrow Jay instead?)”

...Well ain’t that adorable.

I gotta go put this away before my dad comes in my room though OOPS

#Sparrows gender crisis #Absolutely superb you funky little me from eight months ago