#and i still had to overcome that | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

t4transsexual · 30 days

Note

Out of curiosity- what's the weirdest thing another trans person has told you regarding transhetness?

probably the most offensive one has to be that time someone said i would never have to worry that people wont accept my sexuality. because in my life that has not been the case lmao. like i am still TRANS so generally someone who doesnt accept homosexuality isnt gonna be thrilled with trans ppl either, like those kinds of people who are homophobic but not transphobic really only exist in terfs brains lol

and the least personally offensive one would have to be that one person who said "you cant be straight as a trans person, this push for sameness is really hurting our community" like damn rly didnt think i was gonna get called an assimmilist for like, being a heterosexual lmao my bad

also im not straight passing irl either, but i am cis passing, so whenever i bring up that im dating a girl i get to visibly watch the gears turn in peoples heads as they try to figure out how this little gay boy fucks women which is always fun

i think generally a lot of weirdness i get probably comes from the fact that for one, a lot of people view queerness and gayness as the same, and queerness and heterosexuality as opposites, and especially people in my specific generation (older gen z) and especially the cis people/recently cracked eggs rly have put emphasis on "gayness" and "being gay" and take on "being gay" as the same meaning as being queer, so when they meet someone who is queer but is explicitly NOT gay (and this is more than transhet people, this can be anyone who is queer but doesnt identify as gay, including same gender attracted people of all sorts of sexualities/genders), they really dont know what to do with us, and for two im southern and live in the south and people here are not usually very imformed about different flavors of queerness and for some people im lucky if i get them to understand that im trans at all, let alone telling them im a heterosexual, because im not exaggerating when i tell you that pretty much everyone expects me to be gay no matter the fact that i have a girlfriend and havent dated a man since 2021 lol

and heres a photo of me close up if that helps you understand why everyone thinks im gay (i really dont get it myself but)

#straight yapping on this one lol #also to be clear #i dont actually get mad at people who assume im gay #and as a cis passing trans man im happy that i still at least trigger the gaydar #and being preceived as a cis gay man is way safer than being preceived as a trans man of any sexuality #but also if me triggering the gaydar for some reason #makes me appear safer to people who need it #like other trans/queer people #then like im fine w that #however when i tell you im not gay and im straight #and that i dont want to be called gay because its invalidating to my sexuality #and this is important to me bc i spent so much of my life #experiencing extreme comphet #and i still had to overcome that #it was NOT easier to accept i dont like men now that im a man #in fact in my experience i was kinda scared to be a straight trans man #so that's why i really feel strongly about it #trans #t4t #transhet #st4t #t4t mlw #t4t wlm #trans man #transgender

23 notes · View notes

confusedtravelermari · 1 month

Text

While initially presenting itself as a light-hearted romp showcasing the absurdities of the super robot genre, Bravern fairly quickly shifts its focus away from parody (save for as a recurring bit) and instead seeks to answer the question of— why do these kinds of stories exist? Why, in such bleak times as this, with tangible, real-world problems to deal with, do we take the time to entertain the notion that such things as courage, love, and hope can magically save the day?

It’s because we need those things to stay alive. Too loosely paraphrase Terry Pratchett’s words in Hogfather, fantasy is what keeps us human. It’s fitting, then, that the antagonists of the series embody the desire for death. The only way to defeat the human tendency towards self-destruction is not only to have courage, but to believe that courage will be enough carry you through— and in doing so, giving it the power to do just that.

tl;dr

#sorry to get real corny for a moment. I had a lot of fun with this anime and I’m still kind of overcome #bang brave bang bravern #bravern #mari speaks

382 notes · View notes

kohakhearts · 3 months

Text

satoshi-kun.mp4

#ash ketchum #gary oak #palletshipping #anipoke #pokeani #pokemon #video #day 7328457684 still no unsubbed jn but its fine. improvise adapt overcome etc #significantly more satoshi-kuns in jp than ashy-boys in eng. btw. if you even care </3 #wait this is a creation i guess it goes in the tag #mine #*video #i had to relearn how to edit videos for this (have not Fully done so since idk tenth grade?). now im unstoppable btw

268 notes · View notes

uncanny-tranny · 7 months

Text

You know, I feel like other trans people might get this, but it's honestly kind of refreshing when a cis person has, like, undeniable tboy/tgirl/whatever swag. It's like when you come across somebody who speaks the same language as you and you only find out when they start speaking it, too.

#trans #transgender #lgbt #lgbtq #ftm #mtf #nonbinary #all this to say that we are existing on a rock hurling through space #and this universe is going to collide into another and does it all truly matter in the end?#a lot of this is based on ideas we have about what constitutes certain people and i think it can be a fun observation #so long as you do not inherently ascribe certain traits as being indicative of who somebody Is #it can be amusing when you're SO confident that somebody is a certain way until you realize how Wrong you were #the amusement for me only comes because it's like... 'you tried your best to box somebody and you FAILED lmao'#and in a weird way it's kind of comforting because it reminds me that we all come into this world with bias that Will be challenged...#...so the best thing you can do is recognize those biases and then try to overcome them through great effort...#...so yes maybe i did think that cis dude had tboy swag but. that's not inherently his problem you know?#it probably just means he's confident in his manhood in a way that reminds me of the trans men* i know and love #i noticed that in him and it reminded me of my friends who are trans so i think 'oh! maybe that's why he's giving off those vibes!'#so while i won't treat him any differently before or after finding out i was wrong i'm still going to appreciate the fact that...#...he and i are literally just Vibing on the same planet and we both don't have time for petty arguing about manhood #i'll acknowledge what inspired those thoughts in me but that is Not his problem and that's good and beautiful actually #i don't always mind the tboy/tgirl swag meme just so long as you don't treat it like an Inherent Trans Experience Only Trans People Have #just recognize where those ideas are inspired from and it's fine <3 #sometimes you will be Wrong and that's actually fucking neutral <<3 #anyway rant over i just think this is /generally/ harmless and fun #like astrology. sometimes you just look up your star sign without ascribing your Entire Life to it <3 #i think what i lot of people mean by saying a cis person has tboy/tgirl swag is just that...#...that cis person has an understanding of themself that comes from deep introspection that isn't necessarily expected of cis folk...#...but it is often something trans people do as part of our exploration of gender...#how is this the FIRST POST to reach tag limit... ask me for more thoughts if you want lol!

368 notes · View notes

royalarchivist · 9 months

Text

Hope everyone enjoyed today's QSMP Cinema event!

As expected, many VODs were unfortunately muted for certain animations because of copyright issues. I know some of the artists weren't able to catch everyone's reactions to their work, and I'm sure there are many other fans & VOD watchers who missed out too.

LUCKY I was able to archive Foolish, Roier, Cellbit, and Quackity's reactions to all the animations, and for anyone interested in viewing them, I'll be uploading them to Google Drive and will post the links here when that's available.

#mod talk #(Assuming Google Drive doesn't decide to be stupid ofc)#UNFORTUNATELY.... I DIDN'T SAVE PHIL'S............#I THOUGHT I DID. BUT I DIDN'T #ah well at least I watched him live and got to see that #Only one animation was muted on his stream but he had some fun comments about the Cucurucho design #I will be completely honest I prioritized these particular 4 because they're the ones whose POVs I was most interested in seeing #Hopefully the recordings can help out some other folks too though!#I told you guys earlier today that I didn't know how to record live #(I still don't)#HOWEVER I figured out a way to nab the recording before Twitch muted things #Adapt. Improvise. Overcome.#I also covered 8 people for the VOD Timestamp Archive today and it SUCKED I think I need to dial it back vis-a-vis timestamp recording

187 notes · View notes

spocks-kaathyra · 3 months

Text

"ur repressed" okay well have u even considered that emotions r purposeless and only serve to cause harm to those around u and I have achieved a unique transcendent state beyond them. have u considered that

#joking but like. am I wrong though #yeah no one is able to overcome the inherent human flaw of emotion and anyone who thinks they can is in fact mentally unwell #except for me I'm built different I have actually managed to transcend emotion. this is a good thing and not a problem #I saw my father's anger and my mother's discontent and my brother's self loathing and my friend's yearning.#and I saw how it only made everyone more unhappy. and I decided I would be above them all and never let my emotions rule me.#I was scared of the dark until I realized that fear wasn't useful to feel. so I stopped feeling it #this is a good thing and I am a paragon of mental health I think #mmm alternatively I was made to play mediator in a family of traumatized ppl and learned to repress my emotions to the point of dysfunction #but I prefer to think I'm enlightened and have no problems. this is fine and will not blow up in my face #anyways. just now realizing that this might stem from my childhood. oops #also realizing that I'm probably not aro and I just learned to turn off romantic attraction bc I saw how miserable it made my friend??#well. I still don't experience romantic attraction. but probably I should and I will if I ever sort out this repression thing. whoopsie #really she was ready to kill herself over some white guy and I looked at that and was like. nope. I'm never stooping to that level #mm might not help that my parents never loved each other and I never had a healthy romantic relationship modeled for me as a child #but still like really like what is the point. of having emotions. they're just not useful #oh hurr durr I'm angry at my friends for talking over a tv show. there is no way to act on this without damaging ppl and relationships #ohh I'm in love with this guy who will never love me back. THERE IS NO PRODUCTIVE WAY TO ACT ON THIS #literally emotions can only be destructive and I'm a better person for opting out of them #there are no downsides to being repressed! I can still feel positive emotions. I'm happy sometimes. sometimes I'm excited. it's fine #guy who is Unpacking Things live on ur dash. sorry #narcissus's echoes #vent

16 notes · View notes

sissytobitch10seconds · 5 months

Text

I'm rewatching Shadow and Bone and I just got to the scene where Alina and Baghra have their first real conversation about Aleksander. The fact that Alina feels like everything new and powerful in her life is tied to him is exactly what he wants, which was why he isolated her from the others by encouraging her to dress in black. I think it's a really wonderful representation of what an abuser does, because he made her feel like all the wonderful accomplishments that she made were actually a gift that he gave to her. Baghra's guilt about her son being pushed away so that she can properly encourage Alina for once instead of just yelling at her is also amazing. It's really important to me that the abused daughter of an eccentric scientist and the victim of a tyrannical dictator get to have that kinship together and I wish more people talked about that.

#shadow and bone #sab #sissy writes too much #alina starkov #baghra morozova #anti darklina #the darkling #anti the darkling #aleksander morozova #alina has literally been through so much at his hand #and she managed to overcome it with so much grace and ferocity #even in the book when she was weak and recovering she still had so much strength #it honestly gave me a lot of faith that I could overcome my own abuse

24 notes · View notes

softquietsteadylove · 2 months

Note

Ahhhh second first date! Second first date! Of course i need to know how it goes!!

"And the server was definitely super jealous of me."

Thena laughed again. That was all she'd been doing since they left the house, she was quite sure. Since Gil 'picked her up', that was to say.

It was very sweet. He had showed up at her guest room door, dressed up and with a charming smile, even making an attempt to look nervous. He asked if she was ready, offered his arm; he was the perfect gentleman for their first date.

Her second chance.

Of course she had to know more about their first-first date. And Gil was happy to elucidate her once she insisted enough that telling her that much would not cause her brain to catch fire (as the doctor seemed to have implied in some way).

"But it was a nice dinner, then I walked you back to where you were staying at the end of the beach," he recounted, his eyes completely starry. "I had never gotten to actually have a romantic walk on the beach, before. Total bucket list stuff."

"It sounds lovely," she remarked mildly, without much choice with no memory of it for herself.

"The moon was out and everything, and it looked really pretty with your hair and your white dress, and the shawl thing-y you had on over it." Gil gestured vaguely to simulate the flowing garment she had worn over her bare shoulders. It certainly painted a picture, and she was quite sure she knew what he was referring to, having glimpsed a long white shawl in their closet.

She tried not to laugh too hard, mindful of the gentle atmosphere of the bakery. The tables were really just for people waiting for orders. They didn't have a fancy coffee machine, or an official barista. But Gil did bring out cups of real, boiled hot cocoa from the back--a secret only for their own, of course. They were waiting on their fresh baked pastries to come out and cool.

"I was so distracted by you that I didn't even realise when we were back at your doorstep," he sighed, but his comedic tone faded. He looked at her more softly, leaning his cheek against his hand. "I told you flat out that I was having such a good time I wished you were staying further away."

Thena attempted to laugh into her mug, this time.

"You laughed at it then, too." He sounded more wistful now. "But I told you I was serious and asked if I could see you again. I don't know why you were so surprised."

Probably because she had never been one to be asked out by someone like him. Men, sure, but not very sweet, very funny, very honest gentlemen like Gil. Just...men. She wasn't approachable enough for someone as sweet and charming as Gil.

She still thought that, to a degree.

"But you agreed, and I asked if I could kiss you too," he at least smiled at this part of the story, although his longing for the past remained. "You said I didn't have to ask, which wasn't a yes, but I guessed I was supposed to read between the lines."

Again, the Thena in the story and Thena herself in the present were different people. But she felt her stomach clench faintly at the idea.

"I did kiss you," Gil sighed, returning to his lighter, more jovial tone. "And it totally blew my mind. I mean if I wasn't in love with you already, that would'a done it."

"Gil," she admonished lightly, partly laughing and partly sheepish at the description of this passionate kiss she couldn't remember at all.

"What?" he chuckled before taking a sip of his own hot chocolate. "You wanted to know. And that date changed the rest of my life, sweetheart."

She liked it when he called her that. She nodded, looking down at her mug. "I suppose I did. It's a nice story."

"Yeah," Gil concluded, although his sigh felt a little heavier.

She still didn't have any memories of her own to contribute. But she attempted to jump over that wave of guilt, trying to put a smile back on his handsome face. "What was our second date like?"

He clearly knew what she was trying to do, but he kept quiet about it at least. He pulled himself up in his seat and started his next story. "Well, we were still on vacation. I asked a little more about you, and you at least told me you were an artist, and you were there on leave because you found teaching wasn't really your thing."

Thena winced faintly. She was sure that was an understatement. She did have memories of teaching before moving to their current residence, and none of them made her glad to have them instead of memories of Gil.

"I told you that I had been a boxer in college, and that I was just working some boring office job and also wanted," he paused to shrug and make a face, "a change of scenery."

They were both in the midst of becoming different people when they met. How fascinating, Thena mused. Although she was quite sure Gil had always been sweet and charming and funny. Just a feeling.

"It was actually you, on that date, who asked what I liked to do for fun," he admitted much more quietly. He looked down at the table, picking at a chip in the lacquer. "I told you I liked baking and you said I could try working part time in it, just to see if I liked it enough to make it my job."

"It sounds like something I would suggest," she agreed. It was hard to imagine the man she knew now doing anything else, really. Although it was almost funny to imagine him stuffing those muscles of his into a regular office suit.

"I said I'd give it a try," he chuckled, reaching for her hand. She gave it reflexively, sense memory knowing Gil much better than her own mind. He kissed her knuckle. "And now I have the best job in the world."

She smiled down at their adjoined hands as well, feeling as if the weight of the world were on top of them. "The date, Gil?"

"Right, right," he chuckled, allowing her to move the story away from the more emotional of the topics. "Well, you suggested that, and I asked about your art some more. And since the restaurant looked kind of full, and I didn't think that was your scene, I asked if you wanted to walk along the boardwalk a little first."

"We walked by a bakery there, and you asked me what everything was, since I was 'the expert' and all."

That also sounded like something she would say; Thena attempted not to roll her eyes at herself.

"I pointed out the regular stuff," he shrugged and even looked at the pastry cases in front of them in the moment. "Croissants, cupcakes, they had some tarts. You asked about one in particular."

Thena tilted her head as he paused, but she leaned back as he did, having been so sucked into the story that she didn't even notice Ajak coming over with two small plates.

"Thanks," Gil smiled at the petite woman, obviously familiar with her.

"Thank you," Thena added, keeping her eyes on the woman who only smiled and waved in response. Ajak knew her, Thena was aware, but Gil had been determined that they could meet formally when Thena felt more ready to reintroduce those parts of their life to herself.

"This is called a petit four, just a small cake," he chuckled, turning his own plate so she could admire the little dessert from all sides. "It's pretty old school, but you asked me about it when I pointed it out to you. I bought one so you could sample it, even though you told me not to."

Thena eyed the little dessert. It seemed to be vanilla, small and glazed completely white. There was something on the top of it.

"I add just a little sea salt to mine. Call it a secret ingredient."

It was just a hint of salt, but it sank into the sweetness immediately. Just like on that day five years ago, she had tasted the saltiness of the ocean air around them as she took a bite. She could remember the wind on her skin, and how warm Gil's hand was in contrast. The smell of the little shop and the breeze around them, and Gil's cologne wafting gently over to her.

Thena whipped her head up at him. He blinked at her sudden movement but didn't say anything. He was trying to read the expression on her face.

She didn't have any other memories of it. Just that one moment had jumped out at her as she had tasted that same taste--perhaps an improvement upon it. She could remember Gil's smile as she had told him that she liked it.

"You promised."

"Hm?"

She blinked, trying not to cry over a silly little cake. "You promised you would make me one sometime. I told you I expected it to be better, since you were indeed, 'the expert'."

Gil teared up immediately. Of course he did, the gentle hearted giant. "Y-You-"

She looked down at her cake again, the pressure immediately mounting. "It's just that one moment. I can't remember past that. But-"

Thena startled as he launched from his seat across the tiny cafe table from her. He caught her lips at a funny angle, but they both tasted like chocolate and vanilla and sea salt. Her eyes fluttered.

"Sorry," he chuckled, offering a sheepish grin as he seated himself, ignoring the worried glances of other bakery patrons. "Couldn't help myself."

"Hm," she pursed her lips faintly, and he returned to his cake, unable to keep himself from staring at her. She dabbed at her lips, resisting the urge to fan herself. She still had her coat on, but it felt far too hot now in their little corner by the window. "Whatever happened to asking?"

"You told me I didn't have to ask."

#Thenamesh Vow AU #thank you so much sweetheart!#I love this au so I'm very happy to write more believe me #so in the movie she actually never regains any memories at all #which I did find interesting #but I think Thena and Gil have been through enough #taste really can unlock a deluge of memories and sensations #and now that they've made this progress #Gil is gonna be obsessed with making her stuff they've had together #Thena tells him not to get too ahead of himself #she's worried about disappointing him if she doesn't remember more #but he's just so overcome with happiness #people in the bakery look at him like dude calm down #and he's like #sorry can't a man kiss his WIFE in a moment of passion?#Thena drags him back into his seat because he's embarrassing her #Ajak is just behind the counter like ah young love #Now Gil wants to repeat all their dates #in a sense of the word #They literally get home and have brunch right after this but still #Thena texts Kari like wow had a wonderful first date #Makkari: WITH WHO #Thena: my husband obviously

12 notes · View notes

scaryhaven · 6 months

Text

i never would have let myself love any of these characters as much as i have if id known that this wasnt actually a safe place to do so, i genuinely thought, for the first time ever, that this was a really silly show at its core, and serious things do happen, but nothing that cant be fixed, and that its a romantic comedy and they all get to be happy at the end. because real life is hard enough right now, a lot of us are barely hanging on ourselves, and did they really think that we'd want to see our surrogate for ourselves in the show, give up, and die, and especially in that manner? i truly regret opening my heart as fully as i have, but i have had this happen before with other shows, so i guess its fool me once, shame on you, fool me the 20th time, shame on me, but maybe ive learned my lesson because i dont think ill ever be this trusting in a show ever again, so thanks. i was having fun thinking love doesnt have to be scary, i thought i was supposed to be learning that loving doesnt always equal pain, and heartbreak, but i guess for people like izzy and me, thats all it equals.

#im an incredibly guarded person u have no idea what it took for me to ignore the fear and just love openly and bravely and this happened #i fell asleep briefly and when i woke up i wasnt angry i just cried instead :(#im very worried that this may have broke me beyond the point of ever being able to overcome and still love the show as i had #because the feeling of betrayal is so strong. id be devastated to no longer feel about it as i had but its out of my control #izzy hands #ofmd spoilers #ofmd s2 spoilers #ofmd

24 notes · View notes

thatgirl4815 · 2 years

Text

Dominance

There is obviously much more to be said about that last scene, but I find it interesting how Kinn puts himself in the dominant position--constantly putting himself above Porsche, caging him between his arms--up until Porsche slaps him. Then he naturally (and what looks to be subconsciously) looks up at Porsche for the rest of the scene. I think the majority of it is motivated by his mistake/wanting to prove how sorry he is. But I also think part of it is a reflection of the guilt he showed last episode. He took advantage of Porsche when he was unable to properly consent once before, but he’s giving Porsche all the control here. When Porsche turns around to look at him, Kinn’s still got his arms on either side of him, but it no longer feels like he’s forcibly caging him in; the motion conveys something gentler. It’s as if he’s pleading with him not to leave, to understand all the baggage he carries, and even though they haven’t worked through these trust issues, what happens after conveys all the desperation and vulnerability they feel with each other--perhaps more than the words ever could. Not to say that they don’t need to have an actual conversation about their issues, but in the heat of the moment, I think the mood change transitioned nicely.

Here, we see them face to face, height to height. No one is looking up at the other. This is just before Kinn puts himself in a lower position. The most vulnerable position he could possibly be in, a position he probably hasn’t allowed himself to occupy since Tawan (or, dare I say, maybe ever).

And that golden light shining through the back, overcoming the green warning light pervading the scene? The way it illuminates the space between them as they meet each other’s eyes?? The way their gazes search every part of each other’s expression, taking it all in??? There’s an understanding there.

They will doubtlessly exchange more harsh words with each other before the season is over, but in my opinion, this moment where they look at each other is proof that they will be able to overcome it all.

(***I’ve finally gotten my thoughts together a bit more on the cinematography and color of this scene, which I’ve written more about here.)

#kinnporsche #kinnporsche the series #kinn porsche #kinn x porsche #kinnporsche episode 7 #kinnporsche ep 7 #There are so many levels of emotion in this scene that deserve to be picked through #But all I know is #if I was watching it in the cinema with a full audience #I don't think I would've been able to properly enjoy it #Even watching it alone I had my hands over my eyes #I feel like I was intruding on a very private moment #I will definitely find better words to talk about all of this later but I'm still just...#overcome by it all

367 notes · View notes

sherlock-is-ace · 15 days

Text

#oh wow...#i just had an oh shit fuck moment #wow #i usually complain about the one therapist i had in my entire life and how she wouldn't just listen to what i was saying #if it didn't fit her textbook definition of whatever she was thinking at the time #and how i talked to her about my anxiety and how that made me feel and she would only focus on how i acted #so the example i gave her was the one time i went into a shop to buy something by myself #because my mom didn't want to go in for me and arguing with my mom in front of the shop in public and then inevitably have to #go in myself either way was way worse to me #because of the embarrassement of arguing in public. the fact that my mom was gonna spend the entire walk home telling me how i have to #''just suck it up and learn and just overcome my anxiety because i don't have a problem'' or whatever #and then having to go into the shop where the lady had been watching me from inside the entire time how i clearly didn't want to go in #and possibly be even more awkward with teary eyes because of the anxiety and awkwardness i already bring to the table any day...#all of those things that were going inside my head were trumped by the fact that i did go in and did buy what i needed #although my heart was coming out of my chest the entire time... all that didn't matter to my therapist because in her words:#''if you had anxiety. you simply wouldn't have gone in''#which is ridiculous #but anyways... i just had an epiphany... that was masking wasn't it?#forcing myself to do something that brings me major discomfort to make my mother and the shop lady not judge me?#pretend i'm a normal human being just doing normal things instead of someone who's about to have a heart attack buying embroidery thread?#panicking the entire time because i wasn't prepeared and hadn't scripted the entire transaction in my head?#yet still going in and putting on my ''normal person'' mask to try to seem like i wasn't just dying seconds ago (and still was)?#isn't that literally what masking is?!#and the ''autism specialist'' ass therapist was like ''if you did it then you don't have a problem''#when i'm literally telling her how much of a problem it actually WAS?!#you know what's the best part about all this #that when i told my mom after i left that therapist that she didn't listen to me because [insert everything above]#my mom's response was ''well sometimes therapist will say things that you don't want to hear but you have to accept them''....#same woman who's always saying how much she hates therapists because they ''will say whatever and pretend they know shit''#ok so it's only The Truth when I tell you it isn't...

8 notes · View notes

politedemon · 27 days

Text

the thing about lisa frankenstein is it is actually quite fun for a film to say 'yeah, suicide is the right thing to do here' for a change

#lisa frankenstein spoilers #i don't actually know how long it's been out do i still have to tag spoilers #anyway the way it started with her saying she wished she was buried like him #and then when she's like 'you had a whole life' and the monster is like 'so do you' in grunt form #really thought it was gonna be some kind of metaphor for overcoming depression and choosing to live which is fine or whatever #but it was fun that it ended like that #my sole gripe being surely there was an easier less burny way

8 notes · View notes

insane-weasel · 4 months

Text

I think as writers we should hold funerals for our WIPs more often.

Dearly beloved, gather us here today where this fic of some middle-aged man getting rawdogged and this other fanfic about the importance of friendship are laid to rest, because the author got really distracted playing that new video game.

We celebrate what could have been, cut-and-recycle those really good lines or ideas, because I swear I'm going to use them, I swear! And drag this poor document not to the great recycling bin or trash, but to the "graveyard" folder because sometimes I like to commune with the dead.

#fanfic #Writing #I just had to throw out 5k words of a one shot over something I can't change/control but I never delete old WIPs #I do just put them in a folder and still backup that folder with my other files #Yes some of my earlier ideas were horrendous but also there's a part of me still there in each of them #Sometimes it's less about the writing and more about who I was I want to sometimes revisit #Who was the teen girl writing gore at 15 and what would she think of today's writing #Who was the insecure fearful loveless boy who over expressed his masculinity online and wrote tough lonely guy characters #I don't want to be them anymore but when I hate myself sometimes it's nice to read what I've written #You hear the problems you never thought youd overcome in the author notes or in the subject and those fears and pain #You also see the first time you wrote a subject #I wish I hadn't deleted lots of my writing from when I was very young #Some I did because it legitimately could cause or encourage harm if left online #But I think I always smile when I see the old “this year is 8th grade” because by golly #Still think it's hilarious I got really into writing in middle school because I was jealous of someone else's writing ability in 6th grade #I can remember the exact moment I looked at my 2 page story and was filled with jealousy because they wrote 12 pages and my story felt so..#I remember going home and going 'i know I can write something good!' and people will like it!#And then like while looking for some place to upload writing I found fanfic

12 notes · View notes

boxwinebaddie · 3 months

Note

Hi Uncle Nina! What kind of movies do Ravenstan and Jerseykyle like to watch? ^^

OOOOOOOH! so as with everything, i Definitely think jersey is a snob. movies are no exception. also he does not call movies 'movies', he 100% is annoying and pretentious as fuck and uses 'film' or 'cinema'. also speaking of being pretentious, annoying and the word 'cinema', i think ravesey's dynamic is super funny for a lot of reasons but in this case, it's funny to me bc when style watches movies together, kyle says shit like 'y'know i like the plot progression of the film, but i'm not a big fan of the cinema topography."

— and stan trying to be big brain is like "ya! i also hate the cinnamontophography." <3 skdhsldsk bless him and kyle is abt to correct him bc ohhh my fucking god, but lowkey he tried his best and that was very cute, so kyle just kisses him on the cheek, squeezes his shoulder, stifles a laugh and is like "well, i guess you're the expert, cinnamon boy." <3 jersey stop being Sweet and Lovely!!!

anyways, jersey is giving me the energy of those kids in elementary school that adults say have an 'old soul' and likes really complex abstract movies, foreign films in black and white that play at some tiny theater for $5 on fridays, which, kyle is obviously a homebody and hates other people, but when he needs air or is feeling briefly zesty/willing to endure human beings enough to see a movie ( which, granted, it's def just him and the old ass man/annoying indie college student that run the place shooting the shit in there ), he will...make the trip out there and buy a pack of skittles and a sparkling ice ( okay, i had an anon say that kyle probably drinks those sparkling ice drinks and i fucking cried bc he DEFINETELY does and it's def the black cherry flavor bc kyle is cherry coded, however he will also accept the raspberry one or the fruit punch in a punch ) and ofc only eat the red skittles, smh.

i do think he still likes all the regular kyle scifi movies/high fantasy movies, stuff with dystopian societies/political uprisings ( him & stan have overlap there and obvi some high fantasy/scifi stuff but kyle has to explain a lot of it, kyle do be mansplaining shit but its okay because stan loves the sound of his voice <3 gay ) specifically things with deep complex lore, movies with puzzles/things that need to be solved, def watched interstellar a couple times and like, donnie darko bc of all the time lore ( that movie does freak him out btw, he was clenching hard the first time he watched it because he thought that the fucking rabbit dude was gonna kill everyone and it was gonna turn into a horror movie which...more on that subject l8r )

and i bet you he says his fav movie is some big brain movie in like swedish, black and white, is all philisophical and pretentious and deep but tbh...? i think jersey's favorite movies are specifically old romance movies like fkn casablanca, gone with the wind type stuff. yes, kyle being a secret romantic boy is very cute to me, i fucking love him so much, he is secretly v sentimental and warm.

if you've seen gossip girl, jersey is a blair waldorf variant

( which, okay sidebar for nina lore but i watched a fuck ton of gossip girl growing up and i had such a fat crush on serena van der woodsen, like not even blake lively, specifically serena van der woodsen like i have mental problems, i would not fumble her, fuck you so much, dan humphrey, serena please ONE CHANCE!!!!!! )

and i think he fucks very heavy with audrey hepburn and her movies, like roman holiday, sabrina, okay my fair lady is so jersey coded bc of his new jersey slaughterhouse accent/its a musical and he is a dork, he does like musicals so much buuuut i think his favorite movie is my favorite movie which is...breakfast at tiffany's. WHICH???

okay, if you think about it is super interesting given stan's previous line of work ( which okay, i know he wasn't really doing anything and just sort of enduring it to be able to sing, but being trapped in that uncomfortable, hypersexual environment and being constantly percieved & being constantly obsessed over. )

he do be skipping over the all the really insensitive shit w/ the overblown racist asian caricature of holly's neighbor ( that man is too loud anyways he's like please shut up, his ears are sensitive...both to sound and just in general, fml there's a nsfw headcannon abt that ) but idk all the romantic stuff is very cute, he likes the cinnamontophography, all of holly's stuff about getting over her fear of commitment, the fashion statements...chef's kiss to him.

i think he also fucks secretly with pride and prejudice like pep!kyle wHERE IS THE PRIDE AND PREJUDICE THEMED MARRIAGE PROPOSAL STAN I'M WAITING!!!! kyle can quote it line for line, i think he likes when they're set in victorian periods like omg i bet you he watched bridgerton and was obsessed lmaooo, all the adpations of emma jane austen movies, atonement...stuff like that. he does make stan watch them with him sometimes and stan is so hopeless his adhd is so bad he needs ACTION also all the shakespeare-y speak stresses him out so bad, he asks so many questions and can't sit still.

he does...sigh, strategically time makeout sessions In The Middle Of Movies when he gets bored, kyle is like stanley marsh that is not going to work...it does...work everytime skdhshds speaking of that nsfw hc, kyle's neck and ears are hella sensitive so if you like drag ur teeth along his ear or start trailing kisses down his neck, his mind goes completely blank, stan does it when kyle's yelling at him about stuff all the time, kyle gets so mad at him later...and i do mean later because he is like i have to do something first ( hint: it's stan, lmao )

SPEAKING OF STAN!!!!! in vein of them being opposites attract kings, stan is naught an old soul ( i mean, in terms of music, he is sorta vintage ) and fucks very heavy with new movies. he really likes actiony stuff, lots of explosions and shit, very loud, very fast-paced. i feel like he likes superhero movies, like part of the stan name is because he was like eight and thought stan lee was a GENIUS. he watched into the spiderverse like...40 times. he has mental problems. stan likes cars, he does like the fast and furious movies, smh.

i think he...Specifically likes horror movies, though? because he is a spooky ooky edgy boy halloween KING? they just scratch an itch in his brain and he is engaged the entire time because there is either constant suspense or crazy amounts of action and running around. KYLE HATES IT, BTW!!!! kyle is a scaredy cat. like he is the scariest motherfucker on planet earth in person, but the silences and shit freak him out so much, he is not good with jump scares, he is behind his hands, in stan's lap, swearing soooo much like stanstanstan what the fuck I SWEAR TO GOD IF THAT WAS THE INVISIBLE MAN, I AM GOING TO KILL MYSELF, HOLY SHIT DID THAT JUST mOVE??? stan is deeply amused and thinks it is adorable, so he does subject kyle to stan spooky scary movie hour sometimes just to hold him...gaaaaay! idk which one is his favorite i have to get back to you on that. if you have suggestions like me know haha i am also...a scaredy cat.

a couple last things on stan and horror movies though is, i feel like that might be a contreversial take because stan doesn't like blood, but i think the scenarios being fake and because he works with so much fake blood doing whore-ror crimson dawn music videos, he just knows what it looks like and can tell hella quick. if he knows it's not real, it does not freak him out. i think he only thing he doesn't like is animals being killed...like people are fine??? help??? oh my god??? but not dogs or anything. he will cry and cower.

i also think that...weirdly...it combats his ptsd? specfifically final girl type movies where someone lives and kills the antagonist in a horror movie because it's very...relevant to him and reminds him that you can survive something horrible and be okay. and again, even when it's a total wipeout and not a happy ending, the catharsis of being scared and surprised is relaxing to him and knowing scary things can happen and be fake/everyday is not war or hell is good for him. he does avoid specifically triggering things with farms or fire? unless there is something where setting something on fire as a final girl/boy saves the town or everyone because...again...relevant and healing.

idk...complicated, but we get my gist, yeah?

i think they do a movie night once a week or something and they alternate choosing...they also complain bc their movie tastes are so different but love conquers all lmao, and they can always watch lotr and star wars and stuff. I THINK WHEN THEY'RE BEING CUTE THEY WATCH STUDIO GHIBLI MOVIES AND STUFF??? SO CUTE OMG. speaking of cartoons and anime adjacent things...stan do be making kyle watch stanime...kyle is in hell...jersey is like why are there so many boobs, why are they screaming, why are there 1000 episodes, he does also strategically plan makeout sessions ( i am so sorry it doesn't always work, stans boyfail cringe energy is so strong it's so awful, kyle is like literally on top of him and is like ;) if you turn the tv off, i can turn something else on and stan is like baby, you are blocking the epic battle scene, he's about to charge up his attack!!! KHDLSK I AM IN SO MUCH PAIN KYLE IS GONNA KILL HIM )

they do watch a lot of tv shows together, kyle's comfort television shows are still say yes to the dress and masterchef/gordon ramsey food network cooking competition type stuff — bc i'm watching next level chef, they are also watching next level chef and they scream so much like bRO HE'S GONNA MISS THE PLATFORM WHAT THE FUCK WHAT IS HE DOING!!!! it's so funny

speaking of say yes to the dress tho and stuff like that when kyle comes in all busted up from his bar fight and stan's patching it up, towards the end of that interaction right before they get back together, kyle is like "did you watch the new one?" and stan's like "no. i couldn't watch it without you. & even if i could, i wouldn't bc i don't know, i just didn't want to think about people being in..."

and kyle just takes a deep, steep breath and is like...

"...love."

and stan nods.

fuck my life.

ANYWAYS! there you go!

-uncle nina, butcherer of headcannons

#this was so long i am so sorry i had a lot to say #i hope this makes sense and feels right it felt right to me ig?#it made sense to me? idk idk idk #but no kyle is definetely an old school dramatic romantic movie boy even if he doesnt look like it and will lie & say hes not #it makes his heart warm and his eyes shiny omg #stan initiating makeout sessions when he gets bored is so real oh my god kyle is so weak too hes like Stan Absolutely Not #buuut it works everytime literally every time im not even joking hes like siGGghhh *pause* the netflix 'are u still watching'#no they are not...no they are absolutely not #jersey is def the type to watch those dramatic british victorian romance movies swooning over hands tensing and veins and shit #he is so touchy feely on the low im crying #MEANWHILE STAN IS ROMANCE BOY BUT HE DOES NOT HAVE TIME FOR THAT SHIT HE IS MOVING #HE IS SO SLAM WHAM POW WHACK SMACK #people fighting and shit? beating up bad guys? car chases explosions aliens monsters ACTION #hes so with it his eyes also get shiny he gets so excited #kyle does not watch anything he just watches stan get excited abt stuff and stan vice versa im love them #STAN AND HORROR MOVIES IS REAL THO HIM USING IT TO FIGHT HIS PTSD IT MEANS A LOT TO ME IT FEELS RIGHT TO ME #like just overcoming fear and just being constantly engaged bc of the suspense and all the running and stuff but yeah horror movies #specifically when the protagonist lives or says most of their friends or their town and defeats the big evil...good for stan #jersey kyle being baby asf and in stans lap is also v cute to me #it is very cute to stan he is like mi amor its gonna be ok!!!#kyle is like im gonna kill myself its gonna jump out rn okay im ready im ready n HES STILL NOT READY FOR IT LIKE WHAT THE FUCK

8 notes · View notes