#idk if this is just me being on the aro spectrum or if my aceness impacts it hence

[purplepink-blueberry]

feelings are confusing as fuck

i am asexual and on the aro spectrum. recently i asked my sister how does one know if they have a crush on someone (because there is a possibility). she said that if you’re asking that, it’s a crush.

i didn’t like that.

in my smart brain it only took me weeks to compare it to the other few ocassions when i felt romantic attraction to someone. in those instances, it took me a while in one case but i knew. i knew it was romantic (for two of those few ocassions i wasn’t aware i was on the aro spectrum)

so, for me, this advice is flipped. if i am asking if what i am feeling is a crush, it likely isn’t because if it was, i’d know

#aromantic #aromantism #aroace #idk if this is just me being on the aro spectrum or if my aceness impacts it hence #asexual #asexuality #ace #lgbtq #queer #relationships #crush #feelings #i am super tired and sleep deprived so if this accidentally makes sense good job blueberry

[redphrite]

honestly genuinely confused by ace/aro-phobic people. like you really think that everyone has to be attracted to other people?

you aren't attracted to every single person you see in walmart right? you know what a lack of attraction to a person feels like, you've experienced that. like im almost positive that everyone has seen a person and just. didn't think they were either ugly or hot but wasn't their "type" either.

so why is it so hard to believe that there are some people who lack attraction all the time? is that really such a stretch that some people don't have a "type" at all?

#im just. it confuses me so much. #theres also the whole being mad at people who are sex-repulsed thing which is even stupider like. #are you really mad this person doesn't want to have sex at all or are you mad they don't want to have sex with YOU? #oh that might be it actually huh. #btw being ace is one of the most normal things in the world methinks #also some of the coolest people i know are on the aro/ace spectrum! (tbh most of my mutuals/friends are aro/ace) #im not making this post to get into the “discourse” or whatever just wanted to talk about it. idk. #look idk man you tag it

[orindas]

hmmm thinking

#so gender is weird yeah we’ve established this it is a struggle #but also #like my attraction to other people is really weird because gender??? #like the religious trauma hit with repression and shiz and so I’m on the aro/ace spectrum somehwere #but now gaining consciousness and I’m starting to just be really really confused all the time #because like I will notice people aesthetically and objectively like some people it’s like yes you are an attractive human being #and others its like dang you are an incredibly attractive and beautiful human and something you have going on is incredibly interesting #but like I have a hard time feeling like genuine crushes or relationship attraction #in part I think because ive never had someone express interest in me or get close enough for that #and so now even when I do find people attractive I basically friendzone them in my mind and o really like them as a friend and then I don’t #feel attracted to them anymore because my brain like just isn’t attracted to friends I guess? #anyway back to gender idk if I’m a lesbian or not #because like I’m realizing I definetly find women and feminine people attractive #but the ones who really interest me tend to be more masculine #and in general regardless of gender just people who pull off masculine traits or energy in a comfortable/confident/natural way #like not in the super weird toxic masculinity/hyper manly man way but the way lesbians do it I guess? like embracing that #I still like feminine people but i just don’t feel it quite as strongly and I only really like feminine women #which raises the question is my whole thing for mascs gender envy #comp het (at least in regard to men) #or just genuine attraction and those traits really do it for me #because I will openly and fully acknowledge that religious trauma fucked me up and masculinity was associated with good and femininity with #not quite as good but still ok sort of deal #so because of that I really used to hate anyone who had masculine traits? and now more recently I’m finding it attractive??? so maybe it’s #genuine not just comphet?? which still raises the question of gender envy #which is like yeah I really like masc styles and my mens shirts from goodwill #but I also love wearing skirts and appearing more feminine? #it’s like I want my gender performance to be interpreted as a performance but I want to achieve that by wearing what I like/makes me comfort #so I just want people to interpret me as me without my gender playing a part in how the perceive me #which makes me think yeah some of it is gender energy but not all of it

[echoes-of-mia]

okay this is a long ramble and kinda personal, so bear with me, but i want to talk about being aspec in the joker out fandom bc I'm full of emotions and i need to share them somewhere

(just a short warning for internalised aphobia before i go on)

for context, i identify as aspec, more specifically asexual and some flavour of aromantic. I've known about the ace part for about 3-4 years now, the aro part is more recent and I'd say that before, lets say, a couple of months ago, I'd always seen that as something negative, something that makes me miserable, a deficit that will always be there and that others will never understand

and then i joined the (tumblr) joker out fandom around... june of last year, probably? and at first i thought "theres no way there are many queer people in this fandom, its essentially a boyband, and other aspec people? no way"

well, oh boy was i wrong

because not only is this fandom, like what, 90% queer? (i know someone made a poll at some point but i dont remember the percentages) but it's also around 50% aspec. and there's just this general positivity and support surrounding the a-spectrum in the fandom. like, some days ago there was an aphobic comment somewhere and before i even saw it my dash was FLOODED with people defending aspec people and i was just sitting in the kitchen reading through the posts and crying.

and yes, this is tumblr, i could have seen this coming and it's probably different on other platforms, but so many aspec people in one place, in one fandom, is still something that I've never experienced before.

so why are so many aspec people drawn to a slovenian indie/shagadelic rock band that, at first glance, is just 5 very good-looking probably-straight guys making music? that doesnt really make sense, right?

and then you see how much more they are. how they interact with each other. how comfortable they are in their sexualities, in their masculinity, in being themselves. you see a group of friends that love each other so unashamedly it's a bit unbearable to watch sometimes. you don't see them holding back because "thats not their partner!" or "that's reserved for romantic relationships!", you just see love. you see them supporting each other, being physically affectionate, looking out for each other, laughing together, even living together. vse kar vem could easily be a romantic song, but it's about their friendship!!

and what is all of that, if not THE dream of many aspec people? to be okay with not feeling sexual or romantic attraction because you have your group of friends that you love the same amount as allosexual/-romantic people love their partner(s) and to show it, and to know that they love you the same (and won't replace you with romantic partners) because they also show it, without thinking twice about it, without thinking about how others might interpret your relationship because it just doesn't matter as long as you love each other.

so of course aspec people see themselves in joker out. we see hope for ourselves in them, we are probably a little (or in my case very) jealous of their friendship, we want what they have or we just love to finally see real people live with the sort of affection we would like to have. (just to clarify, this is based mostly on what i feel, so other aspecs might feel completely different about this, idk why I'm trying to generalise this)

and this is about all five of them, but to take jan and nace as an obvious example: they love each other so much that the fans start to speculate, and they know about it. but instead of hiding their affection, they just keep on doing what they're doing. because they know how they feel for each other, and it's no one else's business, and they won't be stopping their love just because of "conspiracy theories". and to me it doesn't matter how they love each other (platonic, romantic, whatever), it matters that they do and that you can't help but notice it, because they show it in every interaction we see of them. the damon baker photoshoot just confirmed that, they look at each other and the amount of love makes me cry, it's so incredibly beautiful.

(just some other things i want to mention: them probably cooking mostly potatoes because nace is glutenfree. nace calming down bojan after his panic attack in summer. jan and bojan casually kissing on the lips during a concert. the jure and bojan getting married photoshoot. bojan touching kris's hair during concerts. kris being carried around during a photoshooting. jure and jan drawing a heart together. them gathering around jure's drumset during concerts. i could go on but for my sanity and yours i won't, there are so many moments that just make me soft)

I'd love to be more physically affectionate with my friends, but every time there's this voice in the back of my head saying what society has conditioned it to say, which is that that kind of affection is reserved for romantic relationships, and this voice stops me every time. i feel like bojan, jan, jure, kris and nace either don't have that voice (anymore?) or they've just managed to ignore it, they don't hold back and i admire that as much as i wish i could be like that.

and while i still have a long way to go until i can be affectionate with my friends without worrying about it or holding myself back, joker out have shown me that it's possible, because of them i finally have days on which i think that i can be aspec and actually happy about it. being aspec finally feels as freeing as it should feel and I'm just grateful

joker out has allowed so much queer joy into my life without intending to and although i don't think anyone i know irl will ever understand this, i hope that some of you can relate to this in some way.

I've said this a lot during the past two weeks but i can never say it enough: all the love to my fellow aspecs, and also to all the non-aspec people who support us <3

feel free to add to this if you want to; my dms are always open if you want to talk about it without posting about it, i love hearing other people's thoughts about stuff like this ^^

#i really want to write sth like this about gender too bc thats also connected to all of this #special love to sonja for all the moments of self-discovery we've had in the past months 💚💚 #joker out #personal #thanks for listening to my rambles <3

[dana-chan-the-control-brain]

I'm just gonna throw it out there cuz idk how many people have given you crap about this:

1). Solar labeled himself a "cousin" at EARTHS INSISTENCE. He straight up says that thinking about it in a "familial relationship" way doesnt work and is confusing see KC Eclipse Lunar Bloodmoon etc and hes only told that to Earth. Frankly, I think he, Moon and Sun think of Solar as "member of this family". Also, robots.

2). Moon can still develop feelings for someone, even if he's still aro/ace. I cant see Moon as EVER being the romantic type, and pretty much everyone in THIS show finds any sort of "physical" relationship weird and/or gross. Frankly, I read Solar as aro/ace too, cuz while the dude is CLEARLY capable of pining he really doesn't seem like the romantic type. So shipping Moon and Solar doesnt invalidate anyone's identity, especially since falling in love doesn't have to be romantic or physical *glares judgingly at society*

Also, imagine Solar and Moon going on non-romantic dates. Like they go to an anime convention or something and Moons completely needing out and Solars just like "you're a loser *heart eyes*"

WAIT NO BETTER IDEA!

Sun, who IS a romantic type, is like "I want my brother to have the best so I'm gonna help you guys get together" and Solars just like "pls no" and Sun tries to help make the perfect date, but both members are AGGRESSIVELY romantic and by the end Solar and Moon ditch Sun and like go play God of War or something X3

AH!

Surprisingly, no one has been giving me crap about much. I'm actually surprised with how chill everyone has been and how much on board they are with my silly little ship train idea. I'm actually happy everyone has been really cool and accepting so far.

And yes, this is true, and I went into a few posts about it. One post I went into specifics on the flexibility and "subject to change" nature about relationships in Robots. But agreed.

2. And yeah! Exactly. Back in the Early days of the show, Sun tried to pair Moon up on dates all the time, so it could have been a possibility that the old Moon was Romantic, or he wasn't, and Sun was just misreading the situation.... Also I never got his goal in trying to ship his brother with Roxanne other then to just be a voyeur because he's the one who liked her

And the only reason in my shipping Scenarios why Solar doesn't test his boundaries isn't cause he's acephobic in a majority of my scenarios. but moreso he doesn't want to violate Moon's trust or test his limits. Moon has given him so much, he doesn't want to ruin his friendship or the only home he's ever known.

Also NewMoon said he's "Questioning" right now, and that's also fine. And most likely i'll just draw from my own demi/ace experiences in a lot of ships I like/portray. Because I only know how to write my own experiences. It's not to invalidate others. I'm not every ace person in existence and it's such a wide spectrum so I can't account for everyone. I just write and brainstorm what feels right to me.

And. 3. gehaoghawefh Cute idea.

#danachan's replies #danachan's asks #tsams au #solarmoon #solar x moon

[aromantic-diaries]

💚🤍🩶🖤Hi there🖤🩶🤍💚

My name is J and this is my aromantic blog with a side of asexuality and a small hint of the occasional gender-talk.

I mainly prefer he/him pronouns but I'm okay with they/them especially if we're like not very close or something idk. He/him feels more personal for some reason

This is a blog for all ages. As of typing this I am 18 years of age and I don't wanna put an age limit on my blog since there's nothing NSFW here anyways (besides brief mentions of sex)

I feel like it's worth mentioning that I don't like to use the term aroace or the sunset flag for myself. I don't have an issue with it, but for me being aro and ace are two different things

My intention with this blog is to talk about the aromantic experience, whether that's personal or general and to spread positivity for everyone on the aromantic spectrum

This is a sideblog so I can't follow you back. I prefer to keep my main blog a secret entirely for the sake of anonimity and because I want this to be a separate thing but if you figure it out, good for you.

Feel free to ask me about anything aspec related, whether it's something you'd like to know more about or you're questioning your own identity. But just know, I am not an expert or an authority and I do recommend looking into other sources as well

This blog is open to anyone who is aspec or just looking to learn about aromanticism, but for the love of god be kind.

I decided to add the link to the collaborative playlist of non-love songs to my pinned, it might be easier to find this way

open.spotify.com/playlist/3GEsP0srY6dKuypkILy4hw?si=iqfOTh4ZTraAVuWaXWRMPg&pt=7d99ad85c6086d7e696082fa3e852aaf

#off-topic

[innitmarvellous]

So I read some books about aro & ace identities recently, because while I am quite sure that I'm ace and probably even aroace, I'm still struggling a lot with the ramifications of this discovery about myself, even though I first noticed this about myself a few years ago.

That's why I tried to make myself feel better by reading these books in the hope that it might be helpful in any way...and that's also why I took some notes about things that always bugged me in some way, both while reading the books and before that. (I'm not done with the books, but I already noticed enough recurring issues for a whole post.)

First, I really would like to feel at least sort of good about it. It doesn't have to be pride, just some sense of it being alright. I know that's not a prerequisite, but I don't want to feel unhappy and uneasy all the time just because of my identity :/

And there are some things I like about it. For example, having found a name and explanation for whatever is going on with me was undoubtedly nice, and I like the fact that the community seems to be very open to people identifying as ace or aro no matter where they exactly are on the spectrum. Well, there are always the exclusionists, but that's technically the consensus and I like that.

Still, there is this unpleasant feeling that doesn't seem to go away. The fact that there is something I will never understand and never experience - despite desperately wanting to. I guess that is the problem if something just isn't there, and that's just so hard to accept. Like, other people also might struggle with their orientation, but at least they do have the option to find someone who feels the same and will enter a relationship with them - while this is entirely impossible for me. And I think that's where I struggle the most, honestly. Knowing that there is no way to get the thing I want with my logical mind, because my feelings won't allow me to - and thus people on the outside won't consider me as 'relationship material' in any form since I'm lacking something crucial. And yes, I entirely understand that this would make people avoid me when it comes to relationships. After all I could never give them the thing they would expect from a relationship and it would be unfair towards them if I entered a relationship while being unable to do so. But it really doesn't make it hurt any less, and it definitely doesn't make me feel good about myself. There is something missing about me, that's just an undeniable fact and it reduces my worth in the eyes of others. Is that fair? Maybe not - I can't say, as I can't see things from their perspective - but it just is how things are. But it is very, very hard to accept.

Oh, and there is another thing that keeps being mentioned: namely that relationships without sex or of course also even fully platonic relationships are possible. But honestly? That doesn't really comfort me at all :') Because...I wasn't even nice and attractive (in both a physical and personality sense) - and whatever else - enough for a "normal" relationship, so it feels downright illusory to tell myself that someone will accept me despite my "defects" (if that's what I'll call them in this context, since that would be an allo person's view in most cases, I assume) and agree to have whatever kind of deeper relationship with me. That sounds like such a nice dream, and yet that's all it is and will remain: a dream. It's simply impossible, and that just feels bad. Because I would want to have closer connections to people, but I can't. Idk, but that is a bit cruel, especially as it isn't exactly my fault because of a choice I made.

I also feel kind of uncomfortable identifying myself as queer or part of the LGBTQIA+ community. I'd like to, but idk, I fear I wouldn't really be welcome in most queer spaces since I used to think I was heterosexual before I came across the terms ace and aro. Also, I was never oppressed due to my identity and had technically no trouble to pass as more or less some kind of straight allo late bloomer, so idk... And well, I see why my constant talking about some fictional/celeb mancrush I've got might make people think that I'm a liar and just pretend to be aro or ace for attention or other reasons. In fact, the exact same thing happened to me when a guy fell in love with me and I was forced to tell him about probably being ace. He didn't believe it because "I was always crushing on anime guys" and basically accused me of deliberately leading him on and it wasn't pleasant :/ (But I can't help it...I mean, a celeb crush doesn't require me to act on anything! I just find a guy attractive in whatever shape or form and it makes me happy to have my silly little daydreams about him and whatever. But it doesn't necessarily mean I graphically dream of fucking him, despite what I might jokingly say.) Anyway, I think it would be useful if I could confidently use the term queer for myself because idk, it would make things easier. As in, I'm definitely not "normal" aka not the standard straight cis person I once believed to be, but yeah...I still doubt that I would be allowed to call myself queer. I'm too different to be considered normal and too normal to be considered queer, I guess. So I'm sure people wouldn't be too happy about me pushing into their communities. Falling between the chairs again :')

Maybe all of my doubts and all that stuff...it's not so surprising, though. I mean, I kind of assume that most people wouldn't be too happy at the prospect of lifelong solitude and loneliness, without any chance to form deeper bonds with other people. Or maybe it's just me, who knows. It definitely scares the hell out of me and I hate it so, so much. And well, that makes it so difficult to make peace with this annoying sexual/romantic orientation of mine. (I would change it if I could...but alas we all know that's impossible.) I don't know what I exactly expected, but I surely didn't sign up to a rather sad lonely life of unhappiness and yet that is exactly what I will get :/ Another thing that is very hard to accept, and I genuinely wonder how other people managed to deal with that... I know accepting it and facing that truth is the only possible way, but yeah...I still can't bring myself to feel good about this. I mean, I've been lonely for my entire life, so I don't know...maybe I just hoped this would change at some point in the future and finding out that this will never happen now is kind of soul-crushing, honestly.

Lastly, I know that this is mostly a lengthy and overly personal rant post, so maybe no one has even read until here. But if someone did and feels like commenting, then I would really appreciate that, because...I still don't really feel fully enlightened on how I'm supposed to feel now. Maybe talking to actual people would help, but who knows. Again, I'd appreciate it if anyone wants to share their thoughts (my DMs are also open btw), although I'm aware that a random Tumblr post probably isn't the best way to solve my problem. ^^

#aspec #aroace #acespec #arospec #asexuality #aromanticism #asexual #lgbtqia #queer #(idk i just tag it as such now 💦) #i'm sorry that this isn't a very cheerful/joyful post but idk just felt i had to put some things into words...

[justlarkin]

Would it be okay if I ask, how do you find Lifewonder's games and why do you play them despite it catering for gays?

I dont know anything about being aro/ace so it will be nice to understand them from their own individual perspective.

You're good lol. That's a fair question.

I will preface this by saying that there are other aro/ace people out there who play these games and how they identify under the Ace Spectrum and their reasons for playing are going to be different from mine.

So I still find some romantic and sexual things appealing, but not in a scenario that involves myself with someone else. I've never felt the desire to engage in a romantic or physical relationship myself. I don't like certain aspects of romance and have no interest in personally engaging in it. And I think some aspects of sex gross me out and I wouldn't want to personally engage with it. I think it's the intimacy of it all. Something about involving myself with other people in these scenarios puts me off, grosses me out, makes me feel uncomfortable.

I still engage with sexual and/or suggestive content because I do still find people attractive in that way and cranking it isn't one of the things I find gross about sexual content since it doesn't involve another person. Though I guess I still wouldn't find things appealing in the way others do since nudity/suggestiveness by itself is straight up meh and does nothing for me. It's the same with romance content. I still like reading/watching certain romances involving other people since it does not myself. I may not personally get it or desire it, but I still find some of it cute.

Ik Ik, I rambled. My bad. So why do I play these games when they're clearly marketed towards horny gays?

-I like LGBT+ media and was actively searching for LGBT+ games when I first started playing Housamo.

-I like furries.

-I like that their gimmick is lewding male characters unlike most gacha games.

-For Housamo, I like mythology.

-I like the lore, stories, and characters.

-Most importantly to the current topic, I like their gender selectable/neutral protagonists.

I prefer games with customizable or at least vague protagonists. With customizable protagonists, it's easier to just make a non self-insert oc to play as and detach myself from it. And with vague protagonists like the ones featured in Housamo and Live A Hero, they still have the detachability, but I mostly prefer how they're written and treated in the games. I don't know what it is, but most games that are targeted at a specific gender, especially dating games, are just ugh to me idk idk. The MCs' genders never being relevant in these games besides changing pronouns and labels is personally enjoyable for me.

#ask

[the-delta-quadrant]

i hate that there's somewhat of an expectation in aro/ace spheres of understanding many different kinds of attraction and even being able to put yourself on a spectrum of said attraction. like for example i just saw a poll directed at ace people that only had options for alloaesthetic aces and nonaesthetic aces, essentially expecting me to understand aesthetic attraction enough to know if and how much i experience it like...

you all, i don't even understand romantic attraction, let alone any tertiary attraction beyond "people of all genders are hot". there's a reason i identify as a nonspecific bi without any suffix, idk what most kinds of attraction are, i just know that i feel whatever kind of attraction towards all genders. the only kind of attraction i can make a clear statement about is sexual in that i don't experience it. otherwise i'm bi, but the specific ways of my bi-ness are beyond my own comprehension and i don't need to know any more besides "everyone hot in a non-rose way". the specifics don't fucking matter to me and i shouldn't be expected to try to understand the incomprehensible just so i can put myself into yet another box

the ace community did this shit with romantic orientation and started expecting every ace to have one and label one and make a statement on romance, which is literally why the term quoiromantic exists in the first place and now, slowly, the aspec community as a whole is trying to do a similar thing with tertiary attraction. can we not?

it's not useful to me to try to understand where i fall on every attraction spectrum, heck, not even the most known ones, and i shouldn't be expected to just to even participate in silly shit like polls

#asexual #quoiromantic

[our-aroace-experience]

so Idk if I actually am or not because my brain does this thing sometimes where my hormones go ‘wee-ooh-wee-ooh’ and set off false alarms but potentially a little bit in love with my best friend but like not enough to want to ruin our friendship because she likes this boy and I’m happy for her and don’t really think I’m jealous or anything so like talked to her and decided I’ll just try to not to let it ruin our friendship and just let it die on its own if its real at all. But now questioning whether I’m still aroace? Cuz like no other label feels quite right to me? And the type of relationship I sometimes think I want in the future doesn’t feel quite like a normal relationship in that way? Idk man.

if aroace feels right, you can always stick with that, but you could also look into oriented aroace or angled aroace if you want something more specific! good luck!

oriented aroace- being 100% aromantic and asexual, but feeling other forms of attraction, like platonic or aesthetic, in a way that’s important to your identity

angled aroace- when you are on both the aro and ace spectrums but not necessarily 100% of either & you feel other forms of attraction in a way that’s important to your identity

#our aroace experience #aroace asks #advice #asexual #aromantic #aroace #ace #ace pride #aro pride #aro #angled aroace #oriented aroace

[ohwell-itsme-but-danganronpa]

AroAce Club: The Origins

Sini: As an ace person ace Miu makes perfect sense. It's one of my fave hcs as well and I also just find it offensive when people say certain characters are "too horny" to be ace. Like....Ace people can be horny???

we need to start a club, aces united for ace Miu

Ves: sneaks into your house and turns all your ships into qprs while you aren't looking

you are my hero for this

idk how to put that in normal words, I feel unhinged things about this

I need explicitly aromantic ship content and nobody is making it

how many times can I reread Litsu's "Besties but Better" before more fics like that spawn, before I go insane?

I mean, "The Simple Truth (And Other Boldfaced Lies)" has been starting to go in that direction but it's crumbs in 1 (one) longfic that I don't know when/if to expect a next update

Hina: Can I ask what you mean by this?

I mean stories that make it clear characters are aromantic that are still relationship focused, that show how they navigate it

Hina: That seems cool, and I'd love to see this more!! I think I've only ever seen one or two aromatic ones and maybe like 5-10 asexual ones? (I know those aren't the same)

I want to read about characters being confused by the other types of attraction they experience trying to figure out their feelings just as much as I do about ones figuring out they're gay

I want those domestic slice of life one-shots that just don't have the romance in them but still make it clear the relationship is as important to the characters in it

I want to read those settling into a relationship 5+1 fics but about QPR

Clown_Chaoticz: This is so true, man, there's just a few certain things I think do best when presented in the form of something aromantic. Really wish there was more surrounding that type of closeness

Checkers: romance is a really difficult concept for me so seeing qpr and intimacy without romance is very lovely

Clown_Chaoticz: One of my favorite headcanons is that shuichi is somewhere on the aromatic spectrum, probably because I see him as the type to have some sort of feelings for everyone he meets. I saw that and went "HEH. HEHEHEHE". Meanwhile I think ouma is demisexual, or something along those lines. I wish there was something about them navigating something like that

crack treated seriously: actually getting married just for the tax benefits, an easygoing aro couple that doesn't attach much meaning to it, surrounded by supportive but not understanding friends who need to get more chill about it, it's just a formality and a party to celebrate being over with it, please we just want to be able to visit each other at the hospital if something happens, stop talking about children

Hina: Can I ask a question? How exactly does the aromatic spectrum work (genuine)

the range is similar to the ace spectrum, you get the gray, demi and all that

some aroace people use one label because the general lack of both feels like one and the same to them, but I use both separately, cause I have different feelings about those and figured them out at different times. I think I don't get romantic feelings at all, while being somehow hyperromantic (ik the term is almost unheard of compared to hypersexual, but it works the same), while having some sexual attraction left as long as it's impossible to pursue, and being mildly repulsed by mentions of irl stuff/realistic depictions while being fascinated with fiction. It was really easy for me to say I'm ace and never want to actually do anything sexual, while admitting I'm aro is still hard, part of me just obsesses over romance. And I still get sensual attraction on the crossroads of aesthetical and platonic, which is really annoying and sets off the hyperromantic spiral

Clown_Chaoticz: Yee!! Pretty much little to no romantic feelings! But still with the ability to love really deeply, just more on the platonic side of things. Personally I like it for shuichi specifically because the struggle to put people into a well defined "I feel this about you" box is very real. Mostly because I think shuichi would be inclined to search for clear answers, without realizing that his and others people's definitions of romantic are just the right amount of awkward to feel off. I'm struggling to describe it ajskhdshd I'm aromantic! And everyone's experience surrounding that is different sure but the way I can describe it for myself is that I am unable to see myself in a romantic relationship. I lowkey find it unnecessary. I like seeing it! I like thinking about it with my silly fictional people! I do not see it for myself. For the longest time I straight up did not know there was another aspect to liking someone. I thought everyone just picked who they had feelings for I thought there was a step by step process where you HAD to be friends first because there was no reason for you to further the relationship otherwise. So getting friendzoned? Did not understand why people were upset about that. Cause I thought, you have everything you need! Your still close to them!! I understand now the difference but MAN it's complicated.

like, some ace fics imply characters to lack sensual attraction too and be grossed out by kissing, but I am not, and it bothers me, because it's hard to explain it as a separate kind of attraction and draw the line

no, bc when I was pursuing dating I was hell-bent on the have to be friends first too, like, surely you have to get to know them first to be able to feel it, right? right?

Sini: Demisexual Kokichi is my fave and I cherish it. I've never thought of arospec Shuichi but that does make sense… I usually think of Tenmiko as having a kind of qpr or aroace romance. I didn't even know there were Saiou fics like that out there I know there are ones focused on asexuality that I've read, but that's it

Clown_Chaoticz: OHH!! I CAN SEE THIS!!! Tenmiko as a qpr kind of goes hard actually akhdkshdkdj This will be the only way I accept it from now on/hj

Sini: Idk, they're so coded to me- Tenko is such an aroace lesbian. She just admires and loves Himiko sm. And Himiko strikes me as not being the dating type. Like she has her crushes and stuff, she can have romantic adjacent feelings, but if she's getting involved she doesn't really want to do was is expected of her. She likes Tenko but not like that and Tenko realizes she feels the same. They simply have a deep connection : ) Literally gal pals Himiko goes off like, "We're not soulmates, we're soulbonded" and everyone but Tenko is confused on what the difference is

also I made this chart of my hcs, but tbh I could move nearly anyone to a higher tier at any time if I felt like it, any of them could be aspec, and the main reason I didn't put Kaito as aroace is me being a hater, not wanting to share that with him, he has the potential for it, and I could put saiou in any variation, maybe one day I'll write something where one is aro and the other is ace, and they still get into some weird situationship, probably within The Greater Akamatsu Polycule, they're just fascinated by each other, there'd be mind games and Literal Sleeping Together... it'd be great.

[when I shared it in the pit, I said] I need help, how do I hc characters as aro without making them aroace? I need more aro hcs, I am not even sure about Sayaka or Sonia, it was more like I'm okay with placing them there but it wouldn't be my default, why do I not have aro hcs? wtf and I am not much better with ace hcs, I was going to have Kiyo and Gundham be just ace, but the voice in my head was like Why not? Why shouldn't I make them aroace? We can have it all

Hina: I love Aroace Nekomaru

I just think that after having their private platonic interaction peeped on & sexualized by outsiders both Nekomaru and Akane deserve to be ace, she's got more going on but tbh I haven't seen either of their ftes myself so it's mostly vibes and what other people said I am referring to the massage scene

Sini: FR! They’re so chill when it comes to that stuff. In Akane’s case it could be partly due to all the harassment she received, which just makes a lot of her reactions really sad, but she deserves to be ace as a treat. Makes things a little less sad (but also more so sad)

Hina: I've gotten some hate before for headcanoning Nekomaru as Aroace because he's apparently canonically MLM but? I don't know. Based on his FTE's, he's just a really chill person and I think he values the friendships that he builds and forms with people enough where a romantic relationship just isn't something he thinks about for himself often

Sini: Nekomaru can be Aroace and still be MLM…..Idk why people think being aroace means you can’t feel any attraction to any gender ever

Now go and write about aspecs!

#danganronpa #ndrv3 #kokichi ouma #kokichi oma #shuichi saihara #saiouma #oumasai #tenmiko #tenko chabashira #himiko yumeno #miu iruma #aromantic #asexual #writing prompt #made by me #writing inspiration #also we talked a lot more extensively about our experiences without tying back to DR after that #I didn't want to make this too long and derail from the characters even more. but I'd be will to share my experiences #if someone has questions/ isn't sure how to write an aspec character they want in their story. hmu

[hyenasheep]

Brainstorming random general Junkrat headcanons that i consider as an official canon at this point

I wrote this at 4 am cough

- mother issues, and not in the kinky way but like really bad espresso depresso mother issues. He's like a newborn duck who thinks that anything that comes near to him is his mother (also based of his voice lines i think he was an only child and probably lived only with his mom)

- he doesn't care about what he's wearing, dress, pants, skirts, like he's able to walk around in anything that isn't tight or scratchy

- he sees Roadhog as his father figure/older brother and they just kinda adopted each other without the paperwork (ALSO pls don't take this like I'm trying to shittalk on ppl who ship them, this is just my personal view on their relationship so pls don't yell at me or I'm gonna cry ;-;)

- you can't tell me that my boy doesn't have adhd and ptsd, like C'mon

- he's on aro/ace spectrum, he spend his entire life in wasteland so he's rather looking for family and friends than partner, at least not just a quick flirting etc.

- but I can also see him that something like a personal space doesn't exist for him (he's extremely hungry for any physical touch like someone hug him already holy hell) i feel like he doesn't really understand social interactions (kinnie moment) . Idk how to describe it but like imagine he would randomly walk to you and gave you flowers or smth, just trying to be friendly not realizing smn could interpret it differently

- but also he has no idea what flirting is, like u could hit on him for months and he would be for the entire time like :) 🧍‍♀️"love ya too mate" while patting your head

- he actually can draw pretty well, like the concepts he drew for his bombs etc? He has such a clean lineart holy shit

- hardcore/trash punk and kpop/classic 2000s pop, nothing else.

- literally the biggest fan boy (a little meow meow u can say), Lucio? listens to his music non-stop, Hammond? has his stuffed animals and signed peg leg, Junker Queen? gosh, if he doesn't have at least one lunch box with her, I'm throwing hands than

- the pokémon sodas edition, he would love them, cherishem them, worship them, like if he loves pachimari u can't tell me he wouldn't love strawberry yagult pink soda with Mew on the can

- he's losing his hearing so he uses hearing aids (that he made himself ofc), also him and roadhog know sign language and using it pretty oftenly, during missions, when Junkrat's having a panic attack etc.

- so like ppl say he's egoistic but i think there's a huge difference between his ego and Junker Queens ego, she's very confident and sure about her role/look/skill etc. While Junkrat is more self-ironic and tries to hide that he is actually pretty insecure about pretty much everything

- can speak fluently many languages which always throws everyone off , like he just randomly starts speaking Chinese fluently in a middle of meeting or something, and everyone arevlooking at him like 🧍‍♀️

- shitty phantom pains, he may know how to build his prosthetics from a literal garbage but has no idea when it comes to take care of himself so he just curles up into a ball and sobbs

- he and Roadhog give each other manicures at least once a month, that's the only thing he can actually take care of

- unhealthy addiction to coffee and sweets (someone should take away the coffee machine he has in the workshop) (his teeth are rotten at this point)

- his sleep is more broken than the queuing system (haha funny), usually sleeping like 3 hours per day, that's why the coffee addiction

- if u would show him any kind of love he would start stuttering while trying to come up with smth funny, blushing, sweating and sit on the ground and think about life for the next 30 mins cuz of how much he's not used to being praised

- also my man is a huge emotional wreck, he's getting new emotion every 5 seconds

- honestly i can't decide if the only thing he ever read was a recipe on frozen dumplings or if he's the biggest nerd u can imagine who's walking around with Franz Kafka or Sigmund Freud while sipping his boba tea

- he's missing an eye - I read the theory that he doesn't have an eye and that his fake eye is actually the real treasure with a code or smth, and omg, im obsessed, yes, my boy is like a cool mad max pirate, absolutely canon, at least it would connect him to some actual lore in the story, he's just wobbling around for last 6 years just give him something already;-;

- he likes comics, i just think he likes to inconspicuously steal a new issue of Batman whenever they're pulling a heist

- you know those French toasts that are basically just normal bread soaked in condensed milk? that's his ass

#junkrat #junkrat ass discourse #roadhog #junker queen #wrecking ball #overwatch 2 #overwatch #overwatch headcanons #pats his head #hes my boo #my little skrunkly #headcanons #jamison fawkes #mako rutledge #overwatch junkrat #overwatch lucio #overwatch junker queen #overwatch roadhog #overwatch hammond #junkers #comfort characters are better than therapy #brainstorming #aromantic #asexual #aroace #asexual spectrum #aromantic spectrum

[aroaceconfessions]

I'm very conflicted lately because I know I'm ace but idk where I fall on the aro spectrum… sometimes I want a relationship, but most of the time I'm happy being single. I tend to get crushes but I'm content with watching them from afar... Tbh I'm not even sure if I want a relationship because I want to love and feel loved or just because I don't want to be alone. It scares me to think about my best friend getting a partner and leaving me…

Submitted February 13, 2023

#aromantic #asexual #aroace #aspec #aro #ace #arospec #acespec #arose #questioning #romance favorable #romance indifferent #romance ambivalent #friends #friendship #amatonormativity

[throwaway-yandere]

I ABSOLUTELY LOVE YIUR WORK 🙏🙏 like you’re genuinely the only writer on here who doesn’t romanticize and sexualize yandere writings and it’s so cool, like the work is raw and actually thrilling 🙏🙏

This isn’t really a req and I’ve never made one before so idk if this is considered rude to take up inbox space and stuff but I just had to say something about how much I admire your work 😿🙏‼️

[sorry I'm still drawing w/ my fingers—]

This is so sweet of you!!! Thank you for your kind words and don't worry, you're not being rude at all, I appreciate this a ton <3. I think this is the first time someone pointed out that I write w/o the aim of romanticizing and/or sexualizing yanderes and that makes me very happy (≡^∇^≡)!!!

As someone who thinks they're on the ace spectrum (not sure about aro), the latter probably comes too easy for me lol. For the former— I think it stems from the fact I just enjoy writing the horror aspect more than romance. I feel like yanderes are a great outlet for people who like writing "dark"/horror stories ^^.

Though, I highly doubt I'm the "only" writer who does this, I'm sure there's plenty more who doesn't sexualize/romanticize yanderes— in fact, I think the majority of writers do not romanticize it. We're all aware of the dangers of having a real life relationship with "yandere"s (or at least I hope we do). For many, this is just an escape fantasy. And even if I can't really relate, I think it's fine letting people explore their "kinks" in a safe space such as fanfiction. Have more faith, we writers are smart enough to know that "sexy" in fiction ≠ "healthy" in real life.

Still— aaaAHHH I'M GLAD SOMEONE THINKS MY WORKS ARE THRILLING 😭😭😭😭😭 ah, I feel like my life is complete. I can now go back to the SCP Foundation. Goodbye, Kamisato Clan. I can now leave and never see your f██e again Ay█t█—

[DATA EXPUNGED]

#ansy-stalks #aaaHHHH THANK YOU!!!! #high praise! high praise!!!

[my-castles-crumbling]

hello cas, how are you? Book anon here. I was thinking, that, in theory, being in a romantic relationship sounds nice, if it’s a healthy one with the right person etc. Maybe I’d want to be in a relationship if it was the ideal person? Does that mean I’m not aroace? And is going yourself a microlabel necessary? How can I say I’m aroace, if I’m not exactly aroace? But at the same time, saying I’m anything else makes me feel weird. /: idk

Hi! <3

So just a reminder that I don't like a have a degree in this or anything, so I'm going with my instincts and what I know lol.

First of all, there are plenty of aro and ace people who still have relationships/sex. It could be that they enjoy other aspects of those things, even if they're not into it for the traditional reasons. It doesn't make their identity any less valid.

Second, some people in the aroace spectrum feel like you do and identify as things like "grayromantic' or 'graysexual.' This means that maybe they only enjoy these things in certain cases or with certain people. Maybe that's something that fits for you?

But if it doesn't, if aroace feels best? To me, who is anybody to tell you you're wrong? YOU know you best.

I hope that helps!

<3 <3 <3

#ask #asks #ask cas #lgbtq+ #lgbtq #lgbtqia #lgbtq community

[fogwitchoftheevermore]

i would love to hear about aro smajor actually 👀

AMAZING.

ok so the first thing i am always obligated to say is that i made a post about aro life series!smajor a bit ago that real life smajor found and told me, and i quote "this might be the most wrong take about any of [his] characters". this is the funniest thing that's ever happened to me and has only made me double down.

also it should be noted that i am on the aro spectrum, so some of my hcs about this are affected by my own experiences on this front. i am also ace, which is not true of my life series!scott headcannons (he is so very gay), so idk if that's gonna color my thoughts, but maybe keep it in mind?

so the thing is that, as scott said in that reply, all his characters are hopeless romantics. hence it takes life series!scott until around double life to figure out that he's aro, and hence flower husbands in third life. the thing about scott and flower husbands is that most of scott's care for jimmy comes around after jimmy dies. he's pre-grieving jimmy the entire series, he's making the widow's alliance, he is constantly a little bit exasperated with jimmy (even if it's fondly most of the time), he's telling grian "once we lose our husbands to the war, we can be free". he's kind of treating jimmy and his relationship with jimmy like it's a burden the entire time he has it. and i think that part of the reason he is so affected by jimmy's death when he didn't really show that he cared about him while he was alive (in this interpretation) is that a: he doesn't have to perform any romantic feelings for the guy anymore, he just has to feel the care he has for him and b: very quickly after jimmy dies, scott loses cleo too, his only other Real ally and friend on the server.

he looses both of the people he cares about in one fell swoop, but he directs the grief and anger he feels about both of them, at least outwardly, into anger about jimmy. he says he wants revenge because they killed his husband, because he feels like he SHOULD care about jimmy more than he cared about cleo, even though he doesn't, he cared for them equally.

and so then last life comes around. and scott has what he has with cleo and pearl. and he realizes "oh, ok, hold on, this is actually miles more fulfilling than what i had with jimmy." but the realization doesn't immediately go to "oh i'm aromantic", it starts as "well maybe i just wasn't compatible with jimmy". but then double life happens and he is not a fan of the soulmate concept, especially not when his soulmate is actively killing him so he runs off with cleo again, and even when he finds out that his soulmate is pearl, he has no interest in pursuing that relationship, even in a platonic way. and it's mostly because she was being reckless and not looking for him, but he talks about it with cleo and that's when the aromanticism properly clicks. and it just recontextualizes literally everything.

anyways scott and cleo's relationship throughout the life series is a qpp and mean gills are canonically a qpp. it's important to me that you know this.

(also scott obviously allos can have qpps but also. if you didn't want me to suggest your guy was a little aro at least. maybe you shouldn't have said that :3.)

#space rambles #life series smp #smajor #im not sure if i should maintag this or not #ill decide later #also “wait martyn also said that mean gills was a qpp does that mean you think martyn's on the aro spectrum” #yes! he can have a little aromanticism! as a treat! #(for martyn it like. truly depends on the day for me.) #this got long whoops lmao