#i'm not crying over jimin's distress

[theharrowing]

Collateral 🗡️ 20: Trapped in limbo

Your ex-boyfriend gets in over his head working for the local mafia, and Boss Min has come to collect his payment: You.

But was it simply a matter of being in the wrong place at the wrong time? Or has he always had his sights on you?

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🗡️ Yoongi x Female Reader x Namjoon, Jungkook x Female Reader, Jungkook x Taehyung

🗡️ word count: 22.8k

🗡️ mafia au, strangers to lovers, graphic violence, major character injury, poly, smut, angst, fluff, nsfw, explicit 21+ 

🗡️ warnings: lots and lots of crying; grief; medical stuff i am only pretending to understand; hidden doors; anxiety, panic, fainting, & PTSD; mention of past abuse; dream gore that borders on romantic; graphic & violent nightmares; recreational drinking & drug use (mdma, cocaine, weed); miscommunication & lack of communication due to emotional distress; smut (oral and vaginal sex; not quite somnophilia but almost; orgasm denial thanks to medication; sex while on drugs; fingering; use of restraints; a hint of booty play; cum swallowing); every smut scene is a fucking mess.

🗡️ note: grief is a deep sorrow that we experience for so many more reasons than when someone passes away. sometimes we grieve people who are still with us. other times, we grieve a relationship before it has come to an end. this chapter, and every remaining chapter of Collateral, is going to deal a lot with grief. this chapter was tough to write, and then i couldn't stop. all it was meant to be was a handful of scenes with heavy dialogue interspersed with anxiety and adjusting to medication and messy smut, and somehow we reached that bonkers word count. i didn't once stray from the outline, i am just incapable of being brief, these days. anyway, there will be some time skips/blurs because of the medication, and between one and a half and two weeks pass.

🗡️ beta read by @neoneunnajimin!

🗡️ posted on sept. 2023 | read on ao3

It is unclear what time you hear a knock at the door. You are unsure where your purse ended up in last night's scuffle, the hints of sun that would be visible are blocked by deep burgundy curtains, and your vision is so blurry from exhaustion and tears, that it is hard to parse whether or not there is a clock amongst all the strange antique furnishings of Seokjin and Hoseok's living room. 

The sound of footsteps scampering behind the couch, presumably from the kitchen, surprises you, and you wonder whether you truly have been awake this entire time, or somewhere in an in-between of consciousness and unconsciousness. 

Voices chatter low and hurried, and then a figure rushes over and sits at your side. It takes two heavy blinks to realize that the man settling in beside you is Taehyung dressed dapperly in all black, and when you cock your head to the right in question, his plastered smile falls into a frown.

"I'm so sorry about everything that happened," Taehyung begins. You want to shake your head and tell him that it is not his fault, but all you can bring yourself to do is stare and blink. "Let me start off by saying everyone is alive."

"Everyone," you mumble quietly, feeling a wave of relief wash over you. With a heavy exhale, you attempt to smile. 

"Jimin was shot in the shoulder, and it was the impact of hitting the ground that knocked him out. Although he has not suffered too much blood loss, and his vitals are stable, he has not woken up, and I am unsure when we can expect him to, but there does not appear to be any brain damage."

These are a lot of words—too many words, in fact, for you to follow along with, and you simply nod. All you hold onto is the fact that Jimin is alive; for now, that is enough. 

"Yoongi," you mutter, elongating the vowels. Once more, Taehyung frowns.

"Yoongi has a gash across his eye, starting above the brow and extending to the apple of his cheek." As Taehyung describes the wound, your heart pounds, and nausea fills your insides. He continues, "But, luckily, his eyeball is intact and unharmed. There does not appear to be any vision impairment."

"How…" you begin, brow and lips falling into a frown, but the words die on your tongue. 

Taehyung says your first name, low and slow, like someone gently regarding a child. Hearing your name spoken aloud, rather than a nickname, causes the hairs on your arms to stand, and you swallow a lump of worry. 

"What do you remember, after Jimin was shot?"

You search Taehyung's face while the events return in fragments. Once Jimin fell, you reacted by shooting his assailant multiple times. At the time, you were worried—in fact, convinced—that Jimin was dead, and all you could feel in that moment was rage. Once your bullets ran out, you wanted to bash the man's face in, but you were held back. Then you took out your knife, which was pulled away from you. 

"I emptied my clip but it wasn’t enough. I wanted to stab him," you say. "The man, I mean. But my knife was taken away."

Taehyung leans close and reaches for both of your clammy hands, holding firmly while rubbing the pads of his thumbs over your knuckles as he speaks very softly. "When Namjoon attempted to pull your knife away, Yoongi was—" Taehyung sighs, "—he was standing too close. You and Namjoon both yanked at your arm, and in that motion, the tip of the blade sliced his face."

It takes several tense, quiet moments before anything Taehyung says fully computes. You stare at him, searching his face while the synapses fire inside your brain in an attempt to communicate what you see, feel, and hear. And then, like a thin layer of dust settling over all it can touch, the information begins to trickle down and shroud you.

"I…" you mutter, feeling tears well and fall. You have cried so much that you neither sniffle nor tremble as your cheeks grow wetter and wetter. And then, you say it. "I cut Yoongi."

"It was an accident," Taehyung is quick to add, and you rip your hands from his grasp and ball them in front of your face, feeling your chest tighten and tighten, squeezing the air out. 

This cannot be. You cannot be responsible for injuring Yoongi. How will you ever face him again, knowing what you have done?

"I'm dreaming," you mutter, suddenly feeling hysterical. Laughter works through your chest just as quickly as panic rises, and you shake your head, unable to control your emotions. "This is just a bad dream. There's no way—"

"Would you like to see him?" Taehyung asks, snapping you back to reality. 

With a sniffle, you shake your head, horrified at the prospect of facing Yoongi after what you have done. 

"How could I?" you mutter uselessly into your balled fists. "How could I face him? How could he ever look at me again?"

Again, Taehyung says your first name as he gently reaches for your hands and attempts to remove them from in front of your face. You allow him to, sighing as they fall into your lap. "It was an accident. He does not blame you. None of us do."

But you know that at least one of them does. "Jeongguk," you mutter, remembering his snarl as he told you, You've done enough.

With a sigh, Taehyung shakes his head. "Jeongguk was just scared. He was angry in the moment, but he does not hold it against you."

With a scoff, you shake your head in return; there is no way Jeongguk would forgive you so easily. It took months to get on his good side and only seconds for him to turn on you. Your voice is weak and soft as you rasp, "I doubt it."

"Come with me to the mansion," Taehyung says, sitting up and scooting a fraction of an inch closer. "Yoongi and Namjoon want to see you, and our family psychiatrist Christopher is on standby, should you need to talk to him."

"What I need is to be sedated," you grumble as you roll your shoulders and squeeze your eyes momentarily shut. "I couldn't sleep. Just kept seeing the man's head explode—the man Hoseok shot."

Taehyung's lips twitch upward as he says, "We can figure something out."

Looking down at yourself, you see Hoseok's black pajamas and sigh. "I'm keeping these," you say, resolved not to change into your dress again. 

"They're yours," Taehyung responds with a soft laugh, glancing over your shoulder for a brief moment. You wonder whether Seokjin or Hoseok are standing back there, but you also don't care enough to turn. 

"Alright," you concede with a huff and sit forward, stretching your back and letting out a deep, low yawn. "We can return to the mansion, but I'm not…I don't know how much I will be able to talk. I'm so fucking tired."

Taehyung smiles, but it does not reach his eyes. It is the smile of someone who is exhausted but pleased with the way things are going in the present moment; the smile of someone glad he does not need to convince you any further to go home. "Christopher can recommend something for you to take, and we can get you straight into bed, if you prefer."

"My purse," you grumble, looking around. 

"It was in my vehicle," Taehyung says. "I gave it to Namjoon for safekeeping."

With another nod, you shift, sitting forward, then you stretch your legs from where they had been bunched and pretzled beneath you. As you stand from the couch and stretch again—this time extending all your limbs, twisting your back, breathing deeply—it hits you that you are returning home, and anxiety swells. 

But you know that there is no way you can stay away from home. No matter how badly Yoongi has been injured, and how guilty you feel about what has happened, you need to face it. You need to return to your home, to your bed, to your men. 

"Ready?" Taehyung asks softly, rounding the couch toward the front door. 

Only then do you turn to your left and find Hoseok leaning against the banister at the bottom landing of the stairs, barely out of view from where you had been sitting. Although he smiles, it is a sad expression, and he watches you silently. 

"I'm ready," you respond, gaze lingering on Hoseok before dropping to the floor. 

Your limbs are heavy as you shuffle toward the door. On the arm of the couch, your black dress is folded neatly, and you take it in your hands, rubbing your fingers over the soft satin material. 

"Thanks for the pajamas," you say softly with a hint of a smile, doing your best at humor despite feeling lower than you think you have ever felt. 

Hoseok smiles when you glance back up and catch his eye, responding, "My pleasure. I hope the garments treat you well."

This makes you laugh, but it also forces more tears to work their way out with a soft sob and a sniffle. With an arm gently wrapped around your lower back, Taehyung guides you to the entrance, where you slip on your ballet flats, and head out the door. 

The sun is high and bright, signaling late morning, and you squint and lift your hand to block the light. To your surprise, parked beside a large black sedan is a little white golf cart, and Taehyung steers you toward it. 

"Sick ride," you grumble with an attempted grin. 

Taehyung's hand drops away as you lean forward and step into the cart, taking a seat on the little white plastic bench. It only takes a moment for Taehyung to round the front and enter, and then you are off, making your way from Hoseok's home down a short gravel and dirt road tucked away in some trees, to Yoongi's mansion. 

The driveway is packed with vehicles, making you substantially more nervous than you already had been, and you swallow thickly while attempting to steady your breathing. Rather than driving to the front door, Taehyung takes an immediate right and stops the cart on the side of the mansion. From here, there are no clear paths to the gardens or the pool, and you are confused when Taehyung gets out of the vehicle and begins to walk toward where there is a shrub wall that intersects with the side of the mansion.

It takes a moment to process the fact that you are in charge of manually moving your limbs, and with a sigh, you step out of the cart, hugging your black satin dress tight to your chest. Taehyung walks to the intersection of shrubbery and building, and then he reaches into the greenery at chest height before pushing a section of it open and revealing a hidden door. 

"I bet you have no idea how many secrets this place holds," he says with a grin, and you shake your head before scurrying after him, through the shrub-covered door. 

A narrow path between shrub wall and dark brown wood greets you, and Taehyung walks toward the back, to where a door can be found against the side of the house. He punches in a code, leans forward to scan his retina, and then twists a knob, gaining entrance. 

"Yoongi is currently meeting with the security team and some others, hence all the vehicles," Taehyung says as he holds the door open for you to enter. "They should be finished soon."

As you step inside, you are greeted by a set of stairs that travel down under the mansion. Although there is a light that Taehyung switches on, and the steps are carpeted in a welcoming royal blue, there is something so foreboding about a surprise set of stairs leading down into the earth.

"Where are we?" you ask as Taehyung closes the door tightly behind you and begins to descend on your right. You do your best to keep up, loosely holding onto a wooden railing on your left while your other hand grips your satin dress close to your chest. 

"Beside the kitchen," Taehyung responds. "Between the kitchen and living room, to be exact." 

Once you reach the basement level, Taehyung flips on another switch and turns off the stairwell light behind you. There is an large room carpeted and furnished in blues, blacks, and tans, and you are surprised as you look around at the space. It smells somewhat musty, and you wonder when the last time anyone actually came down here may have been. 

"We don't use this space anymore," Taehyung says as if reading your mind. "But when Yoongi's parents were still alive, this was where he would spend a lot of his time."

You hum and nod, glancing around further. Along a back wall is a wooden bar, now empty, but you imagine it stocked with bottles of whatever liquors a younger version of Yoongi may have liked. There are also recreational table games on the far end that look unfamiliar, as well as a pool table. A dartboard and pool cues share the same wall with the bar top, and you try to imagine Yoongi and Namjoon, and probably also Ryujin, spending their evenings down here as teenagers. 

"Our group used to come down here to party and debrief in the early days," Taehyung adds as you continue to walk through the space toward a door along the wall ahead. "But that was before Yoongi owned hotels, casinos, nightclubs, and all that."

"Oh," you mutter, trying to imagine a Yoongi who did not own half of Seoul. You wonder how much of his empire he inherited from his father versus how much of it he built himself. 

You almost feel remorse over never knowing that side of Yoongi—a younger man who was not so tied down to his duties as a mafia king. But then you remember the scars along his sides, chest, and stomach, and you wonder whether there was ever a carefree man in Yoongi's skin. 

"Just a little further," Taehyung says, holding his hand up toward the door at the far end. 

"Where does this lead to?" you ask. 

"We are going to go up one more set of steps and end up on the other end of the hall, " Taehyung explains, voice soft, deep, and measured. "From there, we will tip-toe up the stairs and wait for Yoongi and Namjoon. Although this is the scenic route, I thought having to walk through the front door might be too stressful for you. I also thought it would be in your best interest to become well acquainted with these more hidden parts of the home."

This gives you pause, and you stumble on your next step ever so slightly, catching the toe of your right ballet flat against the soft carpet beneath. "Oh?"

With a soft sigh, Taehyung stops and turns to you, and you halt, doing the same. 

"Just in case," he says, regarding you with a hint of a frown. "I don't want to worry you or anything…but I feel like these are secrets you should know because, well, you never know."

The two of you stand facing one another for several quiet seconds, and then you nod and heavy-blink, turning your attention back toward the door. Everything feels so ominous, even simple gestures of kindness, and you attempt to swallow down the fact that this is your reality. 

"Thank you," you mutter quietly, clearing your throat to speak more clearly as you glance at Taehyung once again. "I appreciate it."

Taehyung cracks a smile, then holds his hand out to the door, sing-songing a corny, "Ladies first," and you chuckle, hesitating before reaching for the knob and turning it. It opens to another dark stairwell, and Taehyung steps forward and rubs along the wall before light illuminates the narrow space. You note that the light switches seem to be along the same wall on both ends of the room, just in case the information may one day come in handy.

As you begin to ascend, Taehyung closes the door behind you and steps in line to your right. You make your way further up, closer to your destination, and your heart begins to pound. Faced with the opportunity of seeing Yoongi and Namjoon again has you feeling so many ways, and they all swirl uncomfortably in your gut. You know they are likely not angry with you…but what if they are?

Rather than go straight up, this stairwell stops halfway and curves around, much like a standard building stairwell, only carpeted. At the top of the stairs, Taehyung reaches in front of you and very gently, slowly pulls on a large metal handle. 

He opens the door just as slowly, and you realize that he must be attempting to be as silent as possible. Although you are unable to detect any sound coming from whoever must be meeting in the main hall, you are surprised that Taehyung is going to such great lengths to be silent. 

Or maybe, you consider, he is not doing this because he feels you need to be silent in this moment. Maybe Taehyung is doing this to show you just how silent this door is so that you can store the information for later. Although you certainly feel paranoid for considering the notion, it does make sense that he would both reveal a somewhat secret passage to you and showcase just how secret it may be. 

And you nearly question how secretive a door presumably at the end of a hallway could possibly be, until you step out into a room that is certainly not the hallway, and Taehyung closes a panel of wall that does not look at all like a door. His fingers pass over a section along the very well-concealed crack about chest height and press in. Silently, the door unlatches and pushes forward, and you watch with your mouth hanging agape as he demonstrates opening and closing it. 

The dining room you stand in is the larger of the two. During your tour with Felix and Changbin all that time ago, you never came to this room. It was simply described as the much larger one at the end of the hall.

The scale of this room is rather enormous. It appears as if more than twenty people could sit around the long dark wood table, and the décor is very similar to the smaller room—brown leather-topped chairs with intricately carved patterns, dark wood wainscoting and blood-red wallpaper, with brass sconces and crystal chandeliers. 

You stand in the far corner along the wall containing the entrance, which is mid-way through the room, to the right. The door hangs open, and now you can hear the faint voices of men coming from down the hallway. As you step out, you realize you are at the very end of the hall. Ordinarily, this door is closed, and it is one you had never considered going into, before. 

"Come, now," Taehyung says quietly, toeing out of his shoes and bending to pick them up. 

You do the same and scurry ahead as he begins to make his way toward the large stairwell ahead and to the right. Now that you are in a part of the mansion that feels like home, your nervousness turns to nausea. 

Taehyung is no longer attempting to be silent, and he walks ahead, seemingly blocking you from the view of others as he waves to the men from over the banister of the stairwell and then straightens out. You have no desire to be perceived in any way just yet, so you prance up to the landing on your tiptoes. Listen as you try, you do not hear a familiar voice speaking. 

"Should I join you for the time being?" Taehyung asks as you reach the top, and you turn toward the master suite, swallowing thickly. 

"Yes, please," you mutter, somewhat embarrassed by how small you sound.

A warm, gentle hand rubs over the small of your back, and it is all the encouragement you need to continue forward. Although you cannot confidently guess how the others must feel about you at the present moment, you are at least grateful to have an ally in Taehyung. 

The two of you drop your shoes outside the bedroom door, and you walk ahead into the space that you have come to know as your haven. Floral and musk are light in the air, but you can only detect traces of Yoongi and Namjoon lingering. 

Taehyung walks ahead, straight to the sofa, and he reaches for the remote. It is so casual and domestic that when he turns to you with a soft smile and pats the cushion beside him, a wide, happy grin tugs at the ends of your lips. 

"I heard you like Ghibli films," Taehyung says as you walk over, and as soon as you plop down to his left, he swings his legs up onto the cushion and leans ever so slightly closer. His scent is subdued, but it is the spicy, earthy blend you remember from the night he carried you close to his chest.

"I do," you respond, staring ahead at the black screen of the television while attempting to get your bearings.

"Which have you seen, so far?"

You think back to the private jets, to Yoongi and Namjoon, and also to Jimin. Your lips fall to a frown before you school your expression and wet your lips. 

“Howl's Moving Castle and Spirited Away,” you respond. “And part of Princess Mononoke, but we fell asleep.”

Taehyung shifts beside you excitedly, lifting the remote and clicking through menus as he says, “Princess Mononoke is my favorite.”

This calm, gentle side of Taehyung might just be your favorite. While snarky Taehyung has been entertaining and quite suggestive, mafia Taehyung has been deadly and protective, and doctor Taehyung has been an actual savior to the family and to you so many times, this Taehyung is patient and considerate. This is the same Taehyung who held you gently in his arms to take you to a bath and to check in to make sure you still felt comfortable and safe with everything that had transpired in his sex room. This Taehyung feels like a friend.

"How long will they all be meeting?" you blurt as Taehyung finds the title and presses play. 

He shifts forward to set the remote onto the table and then sits back, placing his hand upright and wiggling his fingers. You take the invitation and slowly lower your hand into his, which he gently caresses with his fingertips. A voiceover introduces the film, but Taehyung does not seem to care about pausing or lowering the volume. 

"Hard to say," he responds softly, eyes on the foggy opening scene. "When I came to get you, they were still pretty deep into their conversation. Things like this can sometimes take all day."

"All day," you mutter unhappily under your breath. Sure, you may worry about seeing Yoongi and Namjoon, but not seeing them fills you with the same amount of angst. 

Taehyung sighs, and rather than continue delicately playing with your hand, he grabs it and twines his fingers between yours. The gesture makes you frown despite how warm your chest becomes. 

“I can’t imagine how you must be feeling,” he says, eyes still on the screen but inattentive. Perhaps this is his way of consoling someone; perhaps, for once, direct eye contact is too much for him. 

You scoff slightly and shrug, looking down at your hands. “I’m not really sure how I’m feeling,” you admit. 

Taehyung shifts beside you, and you turn to look at him. His eyes are wide and caring, and they peer straight into your heart. All at once, you feel shy, and you rip your gaze away, to the wall just below the television as you realize he was likely not avoiding eye contact for his sake but for yours. 

“Do you want to talk about it?” he asks quietly, filling you to the brim with sadness. 

You heavy-blink and attempt not to cry, muttering, “I injured someone I love. What’s there to talk about?”

Taehyung is quick to say, "It was an accident," but not in a way that is placating or defensive. 

"Accident or not," you begin, eyes falling to your entwined hands as you imagine all the ways in which you have caused Yoongi harm with one simple accident. With a sigh, you continue, feeling the tremble that works its way through your words. "What if I had blinded him? Or cut him somewhere life-threatening? I could have caused so much harm, I could have—"

"But you didn't," Taehyung interrupts insistently. "You did none of those things. And dwelling on all the what-ifs is not going to do you any good."

Taehyung is correct, and you are thankful for his calm, assuring presence. "I know," you utter, defeated. 

Sure, it does no good to dwell on all the possibilities, but knowing that does not make it any easier not to. 

"You've been through a lot in these past couple of months," Taehyung speaks over the movie, eyes once again watching as characters move across the screen. You see light, movement, and color, but you do not fully register anything taking place. You are not sure you could if you tried. 

As Taehyung's words settle over you, you scoff, muttering, "That's a fucking understatement."

To your surprise, Taehyung chuckles softly. Barely any sound emits, but you can feel the rise and fall of his shoulders beside you. Although levity is nice, you cannot ignore the glaring truth. 

"Is it always this way?" you ask. 

This is not the first time you have asked a question like this, but you feel the need to, anyway. And when silence hangs between the two of you, speaking volumes louder than anything Taehyung could offer, unease settles deep. 

With a sigh, you close your eyes, feeling tears build. And when you admit aloud, "I'm not sure how much longer I can do this," you feel the grip on your hand loosen and then tighten.

"Do what?" Taehyung asks, although you cannot imagine he requires prompting; Taehyung knows damn well what about this situation you cannot withstand. He has been present for each moment during which your foundation has been forced to crack little by little. 

"All of this," you respond through another sigh. You pull your hand away from Taehyung's and lift your feet to the cushion, wrapping your arms around your shins and resting your forehead in the valley between your knees. 

"I love Yoongi," you mutter into the small space that warms with each of your exhales. "And Namjoon, and to an extent, all of you. But this lifestyle is killing me, and I can't take it anymore."

"Killing you?" Taehyung asks somewhat teasingly, making you crack a smile over your dramatics. 

You lift your head just enough to turn and face him, returning his fond smile with a weak one. "Emotionally, yes. I feel like I am dying."

Taehyung's smile only dips some, but his eyes remain just as bright. "Trauma tends to make us feel heavy or a little numb, but it will all pass."

"I don't want that," you bite back, feeling a burst of annoyance. "I just want to live a normal fucking life. How hard is that?"

This time, when Taehyung laughs, the sound is deep, playful, and perhaps a little mocking. "What the fuck is a normal life?" he asks, sounding just a bit defensive. 

"I don't know," you admit. "Something that does not involve gunfire and hard drugs. I can't keep watching men die. And I can't keep watching as my loved one get injured."

Taehyung opens his mouth to speak, but his eyes drift up and widen. His posture shifts, sitting up only slightly taller, and you hesitate before turning, scared of who you might find. 

"Knock, knock," Namjoon calls, and your heart kicks up hard and fast between your ribs. 

All trepidation you may have felt about seeing him melts, and you throw your legs to the floor and stand-spin with such a start it makes you dizzy. Namjoon stands in the doorway with a loving smile, wearing a black tee tucked into black jeans—surprisingly casual, considering he seems to have come from an important meeting. His hands, which are in his front pockets, slide out, and he lifts his arms high, asking without words for a hug. 

You run over on bare feet and hop up, throwing yourself into Namjoon's chest as your arms wrap around his neck. He bends and holds you in a tight, firm hug, groaning softly against your forehead as he squeezes and releases. 

"Moments away from you always feel like a lifetime," Namjoon utters softly, tugging at your heart and ripping the air from your lungs. You wish he wouldn't say shit like this. 

"I missed you too," is all you can bring yourself to say, and as he releases from the hug, you slide your hands to his chest, gently grip at his shirt, and bury your face against him, breathing in his scent and blocking out the rest of the world. 

The way Namjoon rubs his hands over your shoulders and arms, giving gentle squeezes, feels like gestures of impatience and makes you think he would like you to stop this sorry attempt at an embrace, but you hold on tight and close your eyes even tighter, silently insisting on just a little while longer. 

"Are you watching Princess Mononoke?" Namjoon asks over your head, resting his chin against you. 

"Watching is a strong word," Taehyung responds in the teasing tone you have come to expect but have not heard from him yet today. "Doll was mostly sitting here being sulky."

"Wow!" you respond defensively, finally releasing your hold on Namjoon to turn and glare at your so-called friend who stares back with a wide, playful grin. 

Gently, Namjoon places the side of his finger under your chin and motions for you to turn to him. "There you are," he utters sweetly as you meet his gaze.

Your heart sinks as you take in his sweet, welcoming expression. Namjoon, standing here like this, is the epitome of love, and all you can think about is how badly you need to get away from the lifestyle he is a part of before you have to watch another one of your closest friends get shot. 

Namjoon's smile falters, and he cocks his head so slightly, it is hardly a movement. Anguish rises, and you swallow it down, then make your best attempt at a smile. 

"I'm sorry," you utter weakly, nibbling on the inside of your lip as you attempt to sort out what exactly you want to apologize for this time. "I, uh…I don't feel very good. I don't want to…I'm scared to…"

See Yoongi. 

No matter how many ways you attempt to formulate precisely how you feel, there is no way to finish that sentence, and you close your eyes in time for tears to break. 

How many more times are you going to feel hopeless and sad over Yoongi? How many times will Namjoon have to console the two of you? You are certain that the two of them—that everyone in this family—would be better off if you were not here. Clearly, this lifestyle does not affect them the way it does you, and there will only be so much that they will be able to tolerate until you become more of a burden than you are worth. 

"Don't want to, what?" Namjoon asks gently, hands rubbing from the tops of your shoulders down to your elbows and back up. 

"What if he hates me?" you mutter, tears becoming hot streams pouring down your cheeks. 

Namjoon chuckles, and you frown; now is not the time for him to be making fun of you. But his voice is soft and kind as he asks, "Sweetheart, how many times are we going to have to go over this?"

Although you know his question comes with good intentions, it only makes you feel worse. Because yes, indeed, how many times are the three of you going to have to go over this? How many times is Yoongi's lifestyle going to cause crushing grief and sadness? How many fucking times are you going to have to fear facing him? 

It's not fair. None of this is fair. 

"Yoongi is not upset with you, or with me," Namjoon insists. "So we gave him a little cut, so what? He already has plenty of scars."

"That's not—" the point, you fail to say. "I don't want—how can I look at him knowing I've given him a scar?"

Bile rises, and you feel sick. All you can picture is blood seeping from between Yoongi's fingers, blood splattering against concrete, blood staining all of your hopes and dreams a deep, menacing red. 

Taking two steps back and spinning to rejoin Taehyung on the couch, the blood seems to leave your head, causing you to wobble on your feet and crash back against Namjoon. The room is stilted and tilts to a fro, and you swallow a lump, closing your eyes tight while two warm hands steady you by the arms.

"Sweetheart?" Namjoon asks, but his voice is too distant, and although you know that he is directly behind you, holding onto you, you fear that if you responded, he would be too far away to hear you. 

Firmly, Taehyung says your first name, hand holding your jaw at an upward angle while your limbs sink heavily into the couch. When did you approach the couch?

"I'm gonna…" you mutter, mouth dry and full of cotton, body feeling a million miles away from your head as you feel the urge to faint. You attempt to look around, but light and shadow only trail and smudge uselessly. You feel like you are going to be sick, and you squeeze your eyes closed.

When you open your eyes again, you are lying on the couch, on your back. Your lower legs are propped up by pillows, and a violent shiver rocks through you.

"Ah, here you are," Taehyung says, and you turn to find him sitting on the floor beside you. His kind, disarming smile returns as he says, "You fainted, buttercup. How are you feeling?"

Sweat covers you from head to toe, making you cold and clammy and uncomfortable. "Shitty," you reply. 

"Hmm, yes, fainting takes a toll on the entire body. But at least you are shitty and alert." Taehyung holds up three fingers. "How many fingers am I holding up?"

Your voice is rough as you croak, "Three."

"Very good," Taehyung responds, reaching to give your cheek a tiny pinch, which you attempt to flinch away from. 

It occurs to you only now that you neither see nor hear Namjoon. When you look around for him, Taehyung softly clears his throat, pulling your attention back to find him frowning. 

"They left the room."

"They…" you begin, watching as Taehyung tongues the inside of his mouth.

"Namjoon seems to think you don't want to see Yoongi. And Yoongi…well, he's not too pleased."

"Oh."

Taehyung sits up a little higher on his knees, and in a rare moment of uncertainty, he knits his brow. "What I mean to say is, his feelings were hurt. But he isn't angry."

"No, no," you mutter, rolling onto your side and pulling your knees as high as they can go. "I get it."

"The thing is," Taehyung continues, "Yoongi has to leave town for a little while."

At this, you flinch, attempting to quickly sit up. "Wait, where? For how long?"

"He didn't say."

Although you know Yoongi is not present in this room, you look around and ask, "Has he left already?"

Taehyung frowns once more. "I'm not sure, but I don't think so."

Everything is happening too quickly, and you brace yourself to get your bearings and steady your pounding heart as you slowly stand from the couch onto your feet. Taehyung raises and holds his hands out as an offer to assist, should you need it. 

"You good?" he asks, and although you do not feel a modicum of anything you would consider good, you nod and slowly turn toward the door. 

And then you run. Your feet are sweaty and they slide against the floor, but you push forward as hard as you can, ignoring the whorl of nausea in your guts. Once at the door, you shove at it with all your strength, and when it flies open, revealing Yoongi and Namjoon standing close, muttering sweetly, you gasp; you were not expecting to find the two of them this easily. 

Namjoon stands to the left, gently cradling Yoongi's chin with both hands, and Yoongi stares up at him, hands lifted to Namjoon's sides. In contrast to Namjoon's more casual attire, Yoongi is in his usual black button-up and black slacks. 

You mutter, "Yoo—" and halt in place when he turns his attention to you, smile faltering as his one visible eye holds you in its gaze. 

Although Yoongi's hair is down and wild, you can see the black eyepatch covering his other eye. Above the patch are little black stitches that rise up to his forehead, and you worry you might faint once more. 

"Darling," Yoongi says, dropping his arms from Namjoon's sides to fully face you. 

Namjoon's hands only fall to Yoongi's shoulders, and the look he gives you is indiscernible and a little cold. You feel childish and small standing before them in Hoseok's pajamas, which are a little too big.

"I'm sorry," is all you can say as your right leg twitches in an attempt to continue forward, held back by the full-body weight of your fear. 

"I'm so glad you're awake," Yoongi says as he smiles. The ends of his mouth flinch twice, and you wonder just how forced his smile is. "Taehyung said you fainted."

You hum and nod in quick, shallow movements. All you want to do, in this moment, is run. Run toward Yoongi, but also run far, far away, and never look back—run and run until your lungs threaten to explode. But you stand paralyzed in the doorway of Yoongi's bedroom, staring at the two men who seem intent on keeping their distance.

"Where are you going?" you manage to ask, swallowing a ball of saliva and anxiety. 

Yoongi hesitates, and as Namjoon drops his arms from his shoulders, Yoongi straightens his posture and slides his hands into the pockets of his slacks. 

When was the last time Yoongi has held this much distance? When has Yoongi been this reserved and shut away? You regret not wanting to see him before, and now that he is holding so much space between the two of you, you cannot, for the life of you, move your feet forward. 

"I have important business," Yoongi simply says, licking his lips and saying no more. 

"Ah—are you…will you be gone long?" you try, chest trembling and terrified. 

Yoongi merely shrugs. "Hard to say."

"Oh."

Yoongi stares a moment longer, back tall and straight and hands tucked away. The hair on the left side of his face falls slightly over his eye, encasing the eyepatch in a dark shadow, making him appear far more dangerous than he already is. 

And then, as if a switch is flipped, his shoulders relax, his smile softens, and he pulls his hands from his pockets. You let out a deep, shaky exhale and silently beg him to step toward you. 

"I'll miss you," you try, knitting your brows in desperation. 

Yoongi smiles widely and finally takes a step. "I will miss you, as well," he says as he closes the distance, and all at once, your legs turn to gelatin and wobble beneath you before stepping forward. 

You all but throw yourself into Yoongi's embrace, body sagging and crashing into him as he wraps his arms around you, pinning yours uselessly to your sides. Yoongi's musk is strong and overwhelming, and you nuzzle against his chest and neck, breathing deeply enough to choke on it. 

"I'm sorry," you mutter into him, feeling tears well once more. "I'm so sorry, Yoongi."

Yoongi whispers, "Shhh," as his hands rub over your back, and you lift your hands just enough to let your fingers catch at the fabric around his hips. 

"I'm sorry I have to leave so abruptly," Yoongi says, "but the guys here will take good care of you. I shouldn't be long."

"Please be safe," you beg, horrified of what could happen to him while he is away. 

"I have a team coming along to look after me," Yoongi says. "But I can assure you, I will be fine. I can't say much for now, but I will be meeting with the Hong Kong crew, and we will be working on a deal of sorts so that an attack like that will not happen again."

"A deal? In…in Hong Kong?" 

Yoongi releases the hug and takes a small step back, then lifts one hand to the bottom of your chin. Looking up into his one eye makes your heart squeeze, but even with an eyepatch covering the other, he is the prettiest man alive. 

"Please don't beat yourself up with worry while I'm away," he mutters sweetly. "I'm not upset with you. Had I gotten to that man before you, I would have done far worse to him for hurting one of my best friends. And besides," Yoongi chuckles softly, tilting his head to the side, "this is going to make for an amazing story when Jimin wakes up."

"Stop," you grumble, lifting your hands to shove at Yoongi's sides, but not hard enough to make him do more than sway. 

"You are so brave," Yoongi says, smile widening. "You shot that man right between the eyes. And I know it had to have been traumatic and horrendous, but I'm still proud of you."

As it stands, watching the man who hurt Jimin die by your bullet is so low on the list of traumatic events that play through your mind. Perhaps you have compartmentalized the event, and once the dust settles and Jimin wakes back up, you will begin to fully process the weight of the event. Or, perhaps you are already becoming as numb to being a killer as the rest of the family. 

"Did it hurt?" you ask, feeling the urge to lift the patch and see his wound.

Yoongi shrugs. "Nah, my adrenaline was so high, I didn't feel a thing. I had no idea I was cut until the blood began to cloud my vision."

The thought of Yoongi's beautiful face dripping with blood makes your stomach churn, and you mutter, "Oh my god."

"It only hurt a little while Tae was stitching me up."

"Why the eyepatch?" you ask, despite feeling nervous to know the answer. But you were told that Yoongi's vision had not been altered.

"Taehyung felt that the stitches along my eyebrow and lid would heal faster if my eye remained closed as often as possible."

Again, your stomach tosses. Did he say lid? As in his eyelid?

"Oh."

"And it makes me look cool, right?" Yoongi adds, waggling his one good eye, making you laugh despite how sad the entire situation feels. "Don't worry, darling. I couldn't dream of being upset with you two."

You exhale deeply and wrap your arms around Yoongi's ribs, throwing yourself once more into his chest. Yoongi chuckles deeply and drapes his arms over you, cradling your head and shoulder gently in his large, warm, familiar hands. 

"I won't be gone long," Yoongi insists, pressing a kiss against your temple. "But I will miss you deeply while I am away. So please text me as much as you want to, alright?"

"Alright," you respond, feeling tears build once more. Yoongi insists he will return safely but you fear for the worst; how could you not?

"Seokjin and Hoseok will be coming with me, which leaves Namjoon, Taehyung, and Jeongguk here with you. We have shut down Paradise for the time being, and there will be a strong security detail on the property, but don't feel like you have to stay cooped up inside. The streets of Seoul are safe."

"Hmm," you utter, finding it hard to believe him. But you do not press him. Yoongi said he would reveal more about what deal he has struck once he returns home. 

A single-note ringtone chimes loudly, and Yoongi lets out a deep sigh, wrapping his arms tightly around you. 

"That's Seokjin," Namjoon says, and you remember that Namjoon has been standing here the entire time, causing guilt to pang within your guts. 

"Time to go," Yoongi mutters sadly against your temple, attempting to pull from the hug, only for you to squeeze tighter. Yoongi chuckles as he adds, "I'll be home before you know it."

"I miss you," you complain, overwhelmed with sadness. You are so sick and fucking tired of crying, but more than that, you are tired of missing Yoongi.

This time, when Yoongi pulls away, you allow it, tilting your head to slot your lips together. Yoongi holds steady against you, kissing slow and sweet and only skirting his tongue across your bottom lip after several long, warm seconds. You sigh, dropping your mouth open, but Yoongi kisses your temple and backs up further, giving your arms a squeeze before releasing you. 

"I love you, darling," he says, and your heart sinks as you all but whisper, "I love you, too."

Yoongi spins on his feet and takes two steps to Namjoon, giving him a chaste kiss and muttering something deep and indiscernible. Namjoon responds with, "Of course, baby," and then Yoongi leaves, taking the steps two at a time without turning back. 

Something feels off, but you are too exhausted to dwell on it, so you turn your attention to the man who is still around, stepping forward and reaching for him. Only Namjoon takes a step back, halting your movements as he clears his throat and runs a hand through his hair. 

"Sorry," he says, eyes on the floor and not on you. "I just need a moment. I'll be back."

Without another word, Namjoon runs down the stairs, and you watch as he disappears around the banister, toward the front door. Your right arm is slightly lifted, hovering near the empty space Namjoon had just occupied. 

As the seconds tick by, you struggle to fully comprehend what is happening. Clearly, both Yoongi and Namjoon are upset about something, whether that upset is directed at you or not, and they are not doing the best job of convincing you that things are fine. And, truth be told, you do not need everything to be completely fine. But you expect them to be honest with you, or at the very least, to not shut you out. 

Your hand drops to your side, and you spin on the balls of your feet, listlessly allowing your arms to fan out in the motion, making your way back to Yoongi's bedroom. Rather than return to Taehyung and Princess Mononoke, you hang a left toward the large window that overlooks the front driveway. 

Standing forehead to forehead, Namjoon's face is angled just slightly, looking down at Yoongi, whose expression is somewhat unreadable with his eyepatch. He appears to be smiling as they kiss, and the urge to cry increases. You remind yourself that the two of them share a past and that they deserve tender moments without your presence, despite how badly you wish to be included. 

"Everything alright?" Taehyung calls, and you sniffle, blinking away the tears that threaten to break. 

As you turn to face him, you take a deep, fortifying breath and nod, doing your best to smile. Your had been balling your fists inside the long sleeves of the pajama shirt, and you open and close them, wiggling your fingers as if attempting to release tension from your limbs. 

"I guess so," you admit, not fully willing to say yes or no.

"I imagine Namjoon is trying to convince Yoongi that he should go along," Taehyung says. "He always does."

"Ah," you respond; that does make sense.

"The two of them used to be inseparable and now Namjoon seems to get separation anxiety easily."

You begin to return to the couch, feeling somewhat lighter. Of course, Namjoon would want to join Yoongi on whatever this trip is; it sounds like it might be a big deal. "He should go."

Taehyung hums and regards you quietly, then pats the cushion where you had been previously sitting before he returns to watching the movie. With a little more pep in your step, you join him, plopping down on the couch as you sigh and swing your legs up to the left so you can lean your head against his shoulder. 

Although you watch the screen, nothing fully registers. Only Taehyung's warmth and gentle musk hit your senses and linger. Briefly, you even close your eyes. 

Outside, vehicle doors shut, and the metal gate scrapes open. Moments later, two heavy feet stomp up the stairs and into the bedroom. You keep your head on Taehyung's shoulder but open your eyes, watching a confrontation between the two lead characters on screen while Namjoon comes into view in your periphery. 

"Mind if I join you?" Namjoon asks, and you shrug, offering a brief smile while you say, "Sure."

Namjoon walks in front of the television, rounding the small wooden table in front of the sofa, then plops down at Taehyung's right. Although you keep your eyes ahead, gaze barely on the actual movie, you can see and feel Taehyung lifting his arm and shifting his legs to accommodate Namjoon curling up to his side. 

"How did I get stuck with the children?" he teases as his left arm gently wraps around your hip. 

You smile, unable to hold back a little chuckle. "Pure luck, obviously."

"What's the other child up to, today?" Namjoon asks. 

Taehyung asks, "Jeongguk?" and Namjoon hums. 

"He's become obsessed with working out again."

"He doesn't wanna join us?" Namjoon asks. 

Taehyung sighs. "He likely will eventually, but I think he's struggling to deal with everything that has happened. With Jimin in a coma and Paradise temporarily closed, he feels directionless. And, of course, he worries about Jimin." Taehyung squeezes your side as he adds, "He also feels guilty for taking his anger out on you that night."

Jeongguk undoubtedly did appear angry, but considering the circumstances, you can hardly say you blame him. You suppose you are willing to accept that Jeongguk may not be upset with you.

"I get it," you mutter, letting your gaze drop to the wall below the television. "I don't think any of us were in our right minds."

Seconds pass, then Taehyung quietly adds, "He will be very happy to know how you feel."

As the three of you sit and watch the film, your eyelids grow heavy, and it takes almost no time at all for you to fall back asleep.

The events of last night play in your mind once more, and as soon as the man's head explodes from Hoseok's shotgun shell, you flinch awake, gasping for air. As the room comes into focus, you realize you are lying on the large sofa with Namjoon, who is behind you with his head propped up onto his hand, watching television. You sigh into wakefulness, heavy-blinking and yawning, and Namjoon pauses whatever drama he has put on and gently wraps an arm over your hip. 

"Hey, sweetheart," he says just above your ear, and you groan as you stretch your legs out, then begin to wiggle around until you are facing him. 

Namjoon still wears the black tee, and you reach up and gently trace along the exposed skin of his bicep with your fingertips, playing with the hem of his sleeve. 

"What time is it?" you ask, staring up into Namjoon's warm, dark eyes. 

"Evening," he responds, leaning to place a kiss on your forehead. "You knocked out."

"Did Taehyung go home?"

Namjoon nods, humming, "Mmhmm. Christopher wanted to meet with him, and check in on Jeongguk."

"Surprised I slept that long," you grumble, feeling another yawn work its way through your chest. "I keep dreaming about last night."

"Taehyung mentioned he would speak with Christopher about sleep aids. I am always happy to supply Xanax if needed."

Although you are unsure whether you want to create a dependence on Xanax to get you through the night, the prospect of getting restful, dreamless sleep is wonderful. 

"That would be nice," you say, burying your face against Namjoon's chest. 

You half expect Namjoon to continue watching his show, but silence hangs as he settles his head down onto a pillow and wraps both arms around you with the bottom one sliding under your neck. 

"Sorry if I seemed a little cold earlier," Namjoon finally says. "Letting Yoongi leave on his own when we are in the midst of a showdown between both families is just…a lot. I know he's a grown adult and can take care of himself, but I also hate not being able to be there."

Just as Taehyung had said.

"Why didn't you go with him?"

Namjoon seems to hesitate and then says, “He asked me to stay with you.”

“Oh.”

“I don't mean to suggest that I don’t want to be here with you,” Namjoon adds quickly, and although you believe him, it is clear that he would rather be by Yoongi’s side. 

“I get it,” you say, feeling no need for Namjoon to explain himself. “But you could have gone with him,” you add, feeling Namjoon stiffen. 

The air feels tense and awkward, but you make no move to give either of you space. Even if Namjoon would rather be comforting Yoongi, you still crave his warmth. 

“I guess what I mean to say,” you continue, “is that I have the others here, too. Of course, nobody compares to you and Yoongi, but if you need to be by his side, I’m happy here with Taehyung and Jeongguk. Don’t feel obligated to babysit me.”

Namjoon scoots back, and you look up to find a somewhat angry, sad expression on his face. "Why would you say it like that?"

Without thinking, you roll your eyes, watching as his eyes go wider before you add, "You know what I meant."

"You think that the only reason I am here is because I feel the need to coddle you?"

Your patience is wearing thin, and despite finally getting a little sleep, you feel far too tired to be bickering with him over something like this. 

"Namjoon—"

"No, don't Namjoon me. I'm not your fucking babysitter, I'm your partner. I'm here with you because I enjoy being with you."

"You're here with me because Yoongi asked you to be," you clarify, speaking from his earlier words. "Which is fine, I don't mind that being the case. But if you're going to be miserable with worry, you may as well have joined him."

Namjoon sighs and begins to pull away entirely in an attempt to sit up. Feeling resolved, you slightly roll away, giving him space to do so. You are not, however, willing to let him walk away before you are done speaking your mind. 

"It's fine if you want to go with him, and I don't understand why you chose not to. You and Yoongi have a history, and I get that. Not everything you do will include me."

Namjoon sits sideways with his legs outstretched because you have not bothered to move in any way that will actually allow him to escape easily. You prop your head up on your hand with your elbow bent against the pillow and watch as Namjoon's expression oscillates from frustrated to contemplative. 

Finally, Namjoon speaks up, voice sounding small as he says, "If you don't want me around, just say so."

At this you huff, drop your hand and head to the pillow, and begin to roll away, letting your leg drape over the edge of the couch before you steady yourself enough to sit up. Namjoon has not moved, and you are in no mood to face him. It feels like anything you say will be bent to suit whatever this emotional streak of Namjoon's is, and you do not have the energy to play along. 

But then petulance rises, and you stare at the dark blue fabric of the sofa beneath you as you say, "I wanted you around last night. And Yoongi. But I was shut out, and now he's gone."

"Sweetheart—" Namjoon begins, and you shove what is left of the cream-colored blanket that covers your legs, eager to get it the fuck off you as you stand and disregard him.

"I don't want to talk anymore," you grumble as you make your way to the ensuite. 

You never bothered to wash your face or tend to your hair after last night, and you decide in this moment that you would like to shower. For all you know, the blood of some unknown dead man could be on you. 

To your surprise, Namjoon says nothing. You don't bother closing the door behind you as you begin to strip from your borrowed black pajamas and find a fluffy white towel which you hang on a hook beside the shower door. Not bothering to close this door either, you walk to the back wall of the shower and turn it on, feeling a cold blast of water that quickly turns scathing hot before you turn the nob and make it a more reasonable hot.

Although your movements are slow, you take care of your hair and wash your body, standing still periodically with your face tilted up to let the water rinse over you. You know that whatever this tiff you have with Namjoon is, you will need to talk about it at some point. You just wish that things could be calm and easy, in the meantime. After last night, you desperately need things to be calm and easy. 

Finally, when you are just about to shut the water off and get out, you hear a belt buckle hitting the tile floor, followed by a quieter sound of a soft garment being dropped alongside it. Your pulse quickens, but you do your best to seem unaffected by Namjoon's presence—at least until you are able to gauge what kind of a mood he is in. 

"Mind if I join you?" Namjoon asks, voice soft and calm—deep.

You turn just enough to find him standing in the doorway nude, and you rove your eyes down past his pecs and tummy—along the curves and scales of his dragon tattoo—to his glorious thighs and the thick cock that hangs heavy between them.

"Be my guest," you respond with a shrug, feigning nonchalance as you turn back to the stream of water.

Namjoon enters and begins to wash his hair. He uses the tangerine shampoo that reminds you of Yoongi, then he slathers a cloth with the same citrus floral soap that also reminds you of Yoongi. You have no reason to linger in the shower, but Namjoon is close, the steam filling the room leaves you a bit dizzy, and you are touch-starved. 

"Baby," you mutter, turning to lean your back against the cool tile wall and get out of the hot stream of water. 

Namjoon is washing his legs, bent in half, and he looks up with wide eyes. There are so many things you want to say and ask for and command, but all that falls from your lips is, "I miss you."

Namjoon cracks a smile, then he bends further to finish washing his ankles and one foot after the other. And then he straightens out, chucks the cloth to the side, and steps forward, into the stream of water, pausing a moment to rinse. 

"I miss you, too," he says with his eyes closed and face tilted up against the stream, rubbing his hands over his hair and causing a waterfall of suds to cascade over him. 

Feeling overcome with emotion and resolved to put whatever transpired earlier behind you, for the sake of your sanity if nothing more, you reach out toward Namjoon, who is close enough that you are able to graze your fingertips over his tummy. 

"Let's just…not argue, okay?" you practically plead. "We've both been through a lot. We need each other."

Namjoon continues to rinse off a moment longer, then he steps through the stream and looms over you, dripping wet with a blazing fire in his dark eyes. His voice is deep and insistent as he says, "You have me, sweetheart."

"Dizzy," you mutter, reaching to trace your fingertips listlessly over his skin. "Let's get out."

Namjoon nods and shuts the water off, then he leans in close and presses his body against yours, capturing your lips with his. When was the last time you and Namjoon kissed? It feels like a lifetime ago, despite it probably only being last night, and you sigh into the feeling, overcome with a surge of affection. 

His movements are languid and firm, pressing and claiming but in no hurry. You grab Namjoon's ribs with both palms and gently squeeze at his skin and muscle, rubbing slowly, allowing your eyes to flutter closed. 

As soon as all you see is darkness, the images return in quick, nauseating succession. A man's head explodes from Hoseok's shotgun shell and another from your bullets, turning into red and brown and greyish-pink mush against concrete. Blood seeps from between Yoongi's fingers, and you gasp, opening your eyes and mouth wide as your hands hover at Namjoon's sides. 

"Sweetheart—"

"I'm sorry," you sob, hot tears pouring from your eyes as the black and gold bathroom returns to view and Namjoon's dripping wet honey skin greets you. "I can't—every time I close my eyes, I see—I'm sorry."

"Shhh," Namjoon whispers, wrapping his arms around your head and shoulders and pulling you close, engulfing you in wet warmth. "It's okay, don't apologize."

"I feel like I'm going insane. I can't keep reliving this."

"Want me to call Christopher?"

You nod as you sob, holding Namjoon close and doing your best to keep your eyes open. 

"Let's get out of here and put some clean clothes on."

Namjoon's hands slowly caress over your back and shoulders, and you allow yourself to breathe into the feeling and relax. You have tensed up so much that your shoulders are raised high, and you inhale deeply, attempting to calm your nerves and work up the energy to leave the bathroom. 

"Okay," you finally breathe, sniffling and taking deep, slow breaths. "Yeah, let's go."

Slowly, steadily, you are able to leave the shower with one of Namjoon's arms holding firmly around your waist. He towels you off, kneeling on the rug and tile floor, making sure to get every last drop, and then he wraps his clean towel over your shoulders and uses yours to very quickly dry himself. 

His phone is sitting on the countertop beside the sink, and he picks it up, thumbs around for a moment, and then takes your hand to lead you out into the bedroom and into Yoongi's closet. By the time the two of you are dressed, the doorbell rings. 

"I'm going to go answer that," Namjoon says, turning his body fully toward you and taking your hands in his. His thumbs rub over your knuckles, and although you mostly feel emotionally drained, his touch is nice. "Do you want to meet on the couch in here, or the one downstairs?"

"In here," you respond automatically, disinterested in fussing with the stairs or sitting in the huge, empty main hall of Yoongi's home.

"Alright," Namjoon says. "Go have a seat and we'll be right back." 

The world tilts ever so slightly as you move from the closet to the couch. The cream-colored blanket hangs halfway to the floor, and you bend to lift it and drape it over your legs, holding it close to your chest once you sit. Perhaps this is an unprofessional way to meet with the family psychiatrist, but you care more about your comfort than his, if you are being honest. 

Moments later, a man dressed in family blacks enters the room with a bow, greeting you warmly. Although Namjoon enters with him, he leaves almost instantly, insisting that he will be right outside if anyone needs him. 

You feel nervous to talk to Christopher, but he has a kind smile and soft giggle, and he speaks with an accented lilt that reminds you of Felix, instantly easing you into conversation. And even though you are nervous about this process and what it may entail, you do your best, if only for the sake of getting some goddamn sleeping pills. 

Kitten: Landed in Hong Kong. How is my darling?

You: I miss you a lot. It feels like I hardly saw you before you left. 

Kitten: I know, and I'm sorry for that. But I will be home in a few days.

You: I look forward to it. I spoke to Christopher earlier and he recommended an antidepressant to help me sleep.

Kitten: Have you been having nightmares?

You: Yeah, he says it's PTSD. It's been really bad. Even when I close my eyes while fully awake, I see flashes of what happened. I just want to stop remembering. 

Kitten: I know what you mean. I'm glad you are taking healthier steps toward blocking those memories than I have, in the past. 

You: Yeah, well, I have Namjoon's Xanax supply on standby, just in case. 

Kitten: Good, good. Is Namjoon there? I want to give him a call. I would like to hear your voice, too.

You: He's here, watching over my shoulder like a needy little hawk. Please call before he drives me insane. 

Kitten: :] Will do, darling. Just give me a few minutes. 

You are in Seungri's penthouse once again, only as soon as you get into his bedroom with the glass of whiskey in hand, it is Yoongi who slaps you across the face and commands you to get undressed. 

Your empty hand twitches above your thigh, itching to grab for the switchblade, and Yoongi's hand lingers over your cheek, thumb pulling down on your lip. 

“Have I said something to anger you?” you ask, and Yoongi laughs as he drops his hand to his side. 

“You no longer fear me,” he drawls as he turns back to his drink and grabs onto the glass with his lithe, pretty fingers, repeating the words Seungri once said. “Used to be I could put a little scare into you, but now you stand your ground. I like that about you.”

Yoongi skips all the chit-chat that Seungri usually dives into and instead downs his drink and begins to undress. His scars shine brightly when hit by the golden light of the room—his bedroom—and you undress without removing the blade from your thigh or trying to conceal it at all. 

“What a pretty girl,” Yoongi mutters as he approaches.

You step aside and pat the bed—Yoongi's bed—with your hand, purring, “Hop up, sir.”

Yoongi is hard and leaking, cock pointing to the heavens as he settles against his black and gold comforter, and you get up onto the bed and seat yourself in one swift movement, pressing him so deep into you that a shiver works its way along your spine. 

Slowly, you rock your hips, reaching with both hands to drag your fingertips over the scars closest to his heart. "Pretty," you moan as your blunt fingernails turn sharp as talons and catch on the raised skin. 

Then, in a flash, you reach up and slash over Yoongi's eye, quick as a serpent and sharp as glass. Yoongi groans and writhes beneath you, and you—somehow holding your switchblade—continue to fuck him hard and fast while you press the tip of the blade deep into his skin and drag it down over his eyelid, to the apple of his pretty cheek. 

"Mine," you snarl like a beast, thumbing over the pooled blood and smearing it over his face, watching as it mats in his hair. "Forever mine."

You wake up gasping, covered in sweat and stuck in place under warm, heavy limbs. It is still dark outside, and as you pant and attempt to sit up, Namjoon groans and slowly twists away, removing the weight that holds you down. 

"Fuck," you mutter, frustrated. You had taken one of the pills Christopher prescribed and it made you somewhat loopy and very tired—a promising prospect, at the time. 

Namjoon lifts an arm and points to the bedside table to your left, grumbling something incomprehensible before his breathing returns to light snores, and you turn to find two boxes sitting next to a tall glass of water. First, you grab your box of medication and put it back. Then you grab the other, made out to Namjoon, and you pull out a packet and rip it open, freeing one large white pill and gulping it down with a mouthful of water. 

Rather than lying back down to sleep, you roll back toward Namjoon and begin to shimmy down into the sheet, yanking his legs to spread and crawling between them. You can still feel Yoongi inside you from the dream, and you want Namjoon in your mouth now, before you lose your mind. 

Namjoon hums and yawns as you paw at his semi-soft cock, and once he cracks an eye open and moans his consent, you yank his briefs away and swallow him down into your throat, eagerly sucking and stretching your lips, moaning and humming as he trembles and groans beneath you. 

With eager hands, Namjoon yanks at your shirt, pulling it over your head and tossing it aside before gripping at your shoulders and arms in what feels like an attempt to get you to stop sucking his cock.

"Fuck me," he begs, and you do as you are told, grinning with drool-slick lips as you crawl and crash into him, needing to be held up while you angle his tip just right and begin to fuck yourself on him. 

The stretch is so intense, you shiver and fall forward, palms sliding against his sweat-slicked chest and gripping onto the pillow beside his head. Namjoon takes your hips in both hands and begins to fuck upward, holding you in place to use as you bob and moan like a marionette built only for pleasure. 

Namjoon changes positions and holds you tight, fucking you from behind while you lie half on your back and half on your side. By the time you cum, you are dizzy and sinking deep into a drug-induced fog, lulled by the feeling of lips and warm breath against your neck. 

"Don't stop," you mutter as you slip from consciousness, just as eager for Namjoon to cum but unable to hold on and see to it that he does. Although you think his movements have halted and he has repositioned you to rest against his chest, you could also be imagining it as everything fades to black. 

"I wonder how Jeongguk is doing," you mutter, holding your steaming cup of tea to your lips and staring out the bedroom's back window. Namjoon has purchased two new chairs that match the couch because last night, you said you wanted to be able to look out at the gardens.

"Ask him," Namjoon responds somewhat flatly. 

When you look at Namjoon, his brow is knit, and he stares out the window as if he is looking at nothing. He spaces out like this from time to time, and although you are curious about what is on his mind, you feel a bit too disconnected to ask. The antidepressants work wonders for your anxiety and post-traumatic stress symptoms, but they are also anti many other things, including happiness and concern. Christopher insists you need a few weeks to a month to adjust. 

"Fine," you respond with a sigh, disinterested in talking to Namjoon if he is going to be so short with you. 

You pick up your phone, which you keep nearby at all times in case Yoongi reaches out, and you dial Jeongguk's number. The last time the two of you spoke was the night you sliced your boyfriend's pretty face open, and although you are somewhat nervous to hear his voice, you try not to overthink it. 

Jeongguk picks up on the second ring, and you can hear him panting as he says, "Doll. Hey."

"Hi," you respond, swallowing thickly. Suddenly, your mouth feels really dry. "Am I interrupting anything?"

There is a pause, and you hear the bubbling sound of him drinking from a water bottle, followed by a low Ahhh. "Nah, just working out. But I could take a break. Do you need something?"

"No," you clear your throat and sit up, repositioning your legs on the large blue chair. To your right, Namjoon sighs and gets up. "I just wanted to see how you were doing. We haven't spoken since the—"

"Right," Jeongguk interrupts, voice low and rough. "Listen, I'm sorry for—"

Disinterested in apologies, you mutter, "No, it's fine. I get it."

Silence hangs. You want to see Jeongguk again. You want to ask him to come over, maybe ask whether he would like to take a walk through the garden or drive into town for some ice cream. You miss his smell and the way his eyes brighten up like tiny galaxies when he smiles nice and big.

"Do you—" you begin just as Jeongguk says, "Hey, so, I was thinking—" and you both stop, chuckling and waiting for the other to speak. 

"Go ahead," you urge him. 

Jeongguk hesitates, then says, "I don't even know. If I finish that sentence, I will probably regret it the moment the words come out of my mouth."

You glance over your shoulder when you hear the sound of a belt being buckled and find Namjoon getting dressed in blue jeans and a tan sweatshirt near the closet. He keeps his eyes down as he shoves his hands into his pockets, and does not say a word as he turns and leaves the room. 

"Just tell me," you respond, eyes on Namjoon's retreating form. 

"I was going to say that I think we should spend some time apart," Jeongguk says, voice sounding somewhat sad.

Your chest clenches, and you feel the air sucked from your lungs, returning your gaze to the window. "Oh."

"But even as I say it, I don't believe it. I would sprint over and see you right now if you asked me to. I miss you all the time."

This makes you feel shy, and you nibble your lip. "It's only been a couple days."

"A couple of really shitty days," Jeongguk responds, to which you scoff. "This isn't a conversation to have over the phone, but, I don't know, I guess I just wanted to say what you did when Jimin was injured…it was pretty incredible. And mildly horrifying. And really fucking sexy. All accidents aside."

This makes you laugh, and you stare out the window, at the familiar statues, fountains, and trees. You think about how easy it would be for Jeongguk to come see you, and you almost beg him to. 

"I miss you too," you finally say, feeling a lightness in your chest that hasn't been there for days. "I wasn't planning on telling you that, because I didn't want to inflate your ego, but that is the reason I called."

"Come see me tomorrow?" Jeongguk asks, voice high and hopeful.

"What happened to spending time apart?" you tease.

Jeongguk chuckles. "I told you my conviction is shit. I fucking miss you, alright. Don't make me say it again."

You would love to see Jeongguk. "Alright. Any particular time?"

"Nah," he responds easily. "Whenever you feel like it."

"Okay."

The deep, sultry tone you know all too well returns when he says, "Wear something slutty," and your cheeks warm instantly. 

"Jeon Jeongguk!"

"Come on, doll. It's been almost a fucking week. I need that pussy."

How easily Jeongguk cycles through his moods gives you whiplash, and you shake your head, chuckling quietly. "Forget I said I miss you. I take it all back."

"Nah," he teases, "you miss me."

With a sigh and a smile, you mutter, "Thank you," feeling a fuzzy warmth in your chest. 

You think you hear Jeongguk scoff. "For what?"

Namjoon comes into view outside, walking along the rightmost garden path. His steps are slow and meandering, legs swinging and kicking at gravel, and his left hand is in his jeans pocket while he holds his phone to his ear with his right hand. 

"For making me smile," you respond, feeling a sadness that is hard to pinpoint as you watch Namjoon. "It hasn't been easy."

"Namjoon hyung not keeping you company?"

Namjoon turns to the left and crouches down in front of a rosebush, tilting his head and smiling as he speaks into the phone. It is a smile that reaches his eyes and, even from afar, the prettiest you have seen in days. 

"Nah," you sigh. "Namjoon's in his emo era. I think he regrets staying with me while Yoongi is away."

"Don't put it that way," Jeongguk interjects, and you are quick to say, "I get it. It's fine. I can't have the same history they do, especially not overnight. But it's hard, you know? We both have this gaping wound from missing the same person—worrying over the same person. And instead of turning to one another for peace, we're growing sick of each other."

"There is no way in hell the Kim Namjoon I know is sick of you; he loves the shit out of you. But the love he has for Yoongi is going to be a little different. I have definitely seen the way he shuts down when forced to worry from a distance."

You hum, watching as Namjoon glances up to the window. Although you have no idea whether he can see you, you stare back, hoping that he can. And then his eyes squeeze closed as he laughs and spins on his heels, making his way toward the hedge maze. 

"I miss him and I spend every day at his side."

Jeongguk hums. "I'm sure he misses you, too."

"I started medication, too," you continue, rambling somewhat because it is nice to have someone to talk to. "And it's been great to stop feeling so anxious all the time, but I also feel kind of numb."

"How's your sex drive?"

You scoff, shaking your head. "God, why is that your first concern?"

Jeongguk laughs. "Look, I've heard that it can be a side effect!"

"You're so fucking annoying."

"Well?"

"I don't know," you respond somewhat petulantly. "I guess I have an okay sex drive, but it's hard to gauge when the person I would be having sex with is being so distant."

"Fair. Well, we'll have to test it tomorrow if you're up for it."

Another scoff rocks through your chest, and you shake your head at his audacity. "Fine. If I'm up for it, we'll test it."

"Good."

With a sigh, you decide you have nothing more to talk about. You still don't really know Jeongguk very well in terms of his hobbies or interests, and you have no clue what else you could discuss casually as friends. "I'm going to let you go. Maybe I'll see what my emo Joon is doing in the garden."

"Sounds good," Jeongguk says. "Call me whenever you're up for it, and come by tomorrow if you want to."

"Okay," you smile, biting your lip. "I will."

You: I took a nap today and dreamt Namjoon became a forest sprite, and that he lived in a big, sturdy tree. These medications make my dreams super vivid and strange. 

Kitten: That sounds like our Namjoon! :] What about the nightmares? Are they helping with that?

You: For the most part. But sometimes one sneaks in.

Kitten:  Well, I'm glad you are finding at least a little relief, darling.

You: Talk soon? I miss your voice.

Kitten: I'll call tonight. 

Namjoon gives up trying to get you to do anything for the rest of the night, frustrated by how intent you are on keeping your phone clenched in your hand with the ringer turned high. You check the screen periodically to see what time it is, and eventually fall asleep on the couch, clutching your phone to your chest, waiting for Yoongi to call. 

When the morning comes, you wake up and check your phone, feeling an instant surge of sadness from the lack of notification. All you want is to hear his voice for five minutes, but you are afraid to initiate a call in case he is busy. You're afraid of getting in the way or being annoying. So you wait. 

You: You never called. :( I hope to hear from you today, if you have time.

"You should try to eat something."

Slowly, your eyes blink from your phone to the bowl of fruit in front of you, to Namjoon. He sits across from you on the bed cross-legged with a wooden tray of breakfast foods between you. You hardly remember him bringing it into the room or sitting in front of it, and you really have no appetite, but you lift a cube of watermelon to your mouth just to appease him. 

"Not hungry," you mutter as you wrap your lips around the fruit and bite. It is far too sweet, but it is also refreshing, so you chew and swallow, then reach for another. 

Namjoon sighs, making you feel inexplicably worse. "Is it the medication?"

With a shrug, you stare ahead at the various cubes of melon and the plain omelet that has undoubtedly gone cold. "I guess. It's everything."

"Yoongi?"

You hum. "And you. You're distant. It sucks."

"I know," Namjoon responds somberly. "But so are you."

"Yeah."

Slowly, you lift a piece of melon to your mouth, stopping as your phone dings.

Kitten: Sorry, darling. Been busy. Talk soon! 

With a frown, you pop the fruit into your mouth, slowly chewing as you type your response.

You:  Are you coming home soon?

Then you fall back onto the mattress with your legs bent and feet planted. You should probably let Jeongguk know that you aren't in the mood to hang out today. 

You: Namjoon says the meetings are going well and that the deal is looking good. I hope this means you'll be coming home soon. 

More than a few days pass in a fog. The medication has you feeling so disoriented some days, that all you do is sleep. And when you sleep you dream. 

Sometimes, you are in a library, but it bends and twists and becomes shaped like the many mansions you have spent time in over the years. Men who have used and harmed you in the past are there, always attempting to win you back and claim you for themselves, always chasing you through rows and rows of bookshelves, and you are always searching desperately for Yoongi. 

The worst dream that comes is one wherein Yoongi is dead. News breaks that his body has washed up in the Han, and before he can even be buried, Ryujin and Hyungseo are at the front door surrounded by men strapped with guns, pulling heavy suitcases behind them, moving their things into the master bedroom and throwing your belongings out the windows. 

But at least you no longer dream about the night Jimin was shot. You no longer watch Yoongi bleed. At least you can be thankful for a little reprieve. If only Yoongi would answer your messages, maybe you would stop worrying so fucking much about him. Maybe you would stop searching endlessly for him.

You barely register Namjoon's face buried between your thighs as you stare at the ceiling, feeling the Xanax sink in deep. Tonight, you want dreamless sleep for a change. You just want to forget about Yoongi, and about everything else. 

Namjoon's tongue is skilled and brilliant, but it does not make you cum. You warned him going into this that there was a chance it wouldn't happen, and he happily agreed to try, anyway. As you stare up at the dark ceiling, the vastness of the bedroom feels suffocating. It is too big for three people, much less two. It is especially far too big to be in when you are already feeling lonely. 

"Baby, I don't think I'm gonna cum," you groan, reaching for his head and gripping gently with your fingers. 

Namjoon's lips and tongue slow and then stop, sucking loudly at your clit and labia before letting you go with a wet smack. 

"It's alright," he insists. "Just wanted to try."

Without another word, Namjoon shuffles out from between your legs and lies beside you, turning to face away. You sigh, curve toward Namjoon's back, and grip your pillow tight beneath your head, eager for sleep. 

Sitting on the large blue chair by the window, you stare at your phone, trying to decide whether today is the day you finally see your friend. There is no reason to hesitate to call him, and yet, you do. 

"I should see what Jeongguk is up to," you mutter, mostly to yourself. 

Namjoon sighs and snaps the book in his hands shut, then he turns to you with a frown. "All you do is talk about him, so just go see him, already."

His candor surprises you, and you exhale deeply, feeling a heavy weight pressing on your shoulders. "Are you mad that I want to see him?"

"No. I'm just tired of hearing about it."

He definitely sounds mad. 

"Okay," you respond, disappointed. "I won't talk about it anymore."

As you get up from the chair and walk away from the large window and the sunshine it allows in, you have half a mind to go into your room and change into something pretty to go frolic in the gardens by yourself. It has been far too long since you have left the house. 

So you pad out into the mezzanine, doing your best to ignore how huge and quiet and empty the mansion feels, and you make your way to your bedroom. 

Although it is not your intention, you shove the door closed, slamming it rather loudly. Then you spin on the balls of your feet, walk over to the bed, and fling yourself down onto the yellow and white comforter, deciding a nap sounds good. 

You wake up to the sounds of car doors closing outside and the front door opening and shutting, muttering, "Yoongi!" to yourself. 

Unsure how or when you managed to get into bed in the master suite, you toss aside your concern and the black and gold comforter and roll out of bed, feet hitting the soft, light blue rug. Although you are in a regrettable state, unsure when you last showered because you can barely keep your days straight anymore, you are undeterred as you run through the master suite, out into the mezzanine, and down the stairs, bare feet slapping against cold marble. 

As you fling yourself around the banister and continue toward the main hall, all you see are Namjoon and Seokjin standing in the entrance, and you halt, body swaying forward before tensing. 

"Yoongi?" you ask, unable to form a single other coherent thought. 

Seokjin smiles sadly and approaches with his hands in his black slack pockets, and you feel nausea hit your guts like a brick. "Can we have a word?" he asks, holding his arm out, hand extended toward the back door. 

You glance over your shoulder, feeling uncertain; does he mean to go out by the pool?

"S-sure," you say, willing your feet to move but finding you are unable to as your gaze finds Namjoon, dressed once more in blue jeans and a soft sweater, typing into his phone with a frown. 

"Yoongi decided he needed to stay put a little while longer," Seokjin says lowly, still holding his hand out. "Mind if we step outside?"

"Outside," you mutter, nodding your head robotically as you turn and face the back doors. "Yeah, sure. Let's go."

Seokjin takes the lead and approaches the sliding glass door, unlocking it and pulling it open. It is strange to enter the pool area with it empty of an employee, and you step out onto the rough gunite and pad over to the nearest pool beds. 

The sun is bright, the birds are chirping, and you feel extremely on edge, finding that every minuscule sight and sound has your shoulders lifting higher and higher toward your ears. So when Seokjin sits before you, pulls a flask from his breast pocket, and hands it over, you quickly take it, drinking from it without bothering to ask what is inside and wincing slightly as bitter, semi-sweet whiskey hits your tongue.

You sigh through the intense flavor as you hand the flask back, asking, "Why didn't he come home?"

Seokjin takes a slow swig and says, "That is a question I am not quite sure I have an answer to. I can only surmise the reason based on the behavior I witnessed him exhibiting during our stay."

"Which is…?" you attempt to lead Seokjin to tell you before you lose your cool. Seokjin is far too calm, sitting in his standard black uniform with his outgrown, dark hair pulled delicately off his forehead. 

"Which is that he began quite optimistic, daresay, happy at times, only to self-isolate and become very quiet. We were meant to leave days ago, but he kept stating he wanted to stay and 'figure it out,' whatever that meant. When I decided I could no longer stay, he wished me farewell and refused to explain what was on his mind."

"And the deal?" 

Seokjin stares for a moment, then leans forward, offering you the flask, which you take. "Has he told you anything about it?"

You shake your head, lifting the flask toward your lips, pausing to say, "He said he would tell me about it when he came back."

"Hmm, well, then I suppose I can tell you that the meeting went well."

The whiskey is not entirely unwelcoming, but the headiness is somewhat overwhelming. You hand the flask back to Seokjin, waiting for him to continue. He takes a swig and holds the flask in his grasp, resting his hands against his thigh. 

"Hyungseo has agreed to a truce, and her group will no longer be bothering any of us. Ryujin has also agreed to the truce, since it is still largely her family in charge, even if she has allowed Hyungseo to take over. As far as the details, well…I would rather let Yoongi explain."

Although this is good news, you feel strange about what Seokjin is telling you. Were Hyungseo and Ryujin in Hong Kong, as well? Could they still be there? When you blurt the questions out, Seokjin snickers and shakes his head. 

"The ladies were present for our discussion, but, as far as I know, they both returned home days ago."

You wonder if that could be the reason for Yoongi's sour mood. Perhaps seeing Ryujin still affects him. The prospect makes you feel sick. 

"I feel like there is a lot of context I am missing here," you grumble.

"There is," Seokjin responds simply. Then he sits forward, resting his wrists against his knees. "You know, the offer to work for them in Busan stands. In fact, you could be a huge asset for us, since we need someone there making sure they aren't conspiring in spite of our agreement."

"I…don't know," you say. 

"Well, give it some thought," Seokjin responds in a chipper tone, taking one more sip from his flask and holding it out for you. 

You shake your head and hold your hand up, muttering, "Thanks."

"Seems you could use a bit of a vacation, if I may be so bold as to say so. Six months on the coast might do you some good."

"Just getting accustomed to new medications," you grumble, unsure why you bother telling him any of this, in the first place. 

Seokjin hums. "Yes, that process can be a bit disorienting. Try to remember to drink water and eat, even if it suppresses your appetite. We don't need you withering away."

You nod listlessly, barely listening to Seokjin, asking, "Do you think he's coming home soon?" before you can stop yourself. 

"Likely," Seokjin responds with a sigh as he stands. "It's hard to say with Yoongi. Once he gets in his head, there is no telling when he will come out."

"And if he doesn't?"

The sun is bright behind Seokjin when you look up at him, and you lift your hand to block the rays from your eyes, squinting. 

"If he doesn't come home, then perhaps you and Namjoon will have to go and get him."

If there is anyone in this family willing to get onto a plane and head for Hong Kong at a moment's notice, you are sure it is Namjoon. "Okay," you mutter, dropping your hand and your gaze, feeling tired and a bit empty. 

"Take care little wolf cub," Seokjin says as he turns to return inside, and you nod listlessly as you shift around on the pool bed and curl in on yourself, chasing the urge to sleep.

Tonight, even the Xanax does nothing to keep your nightmares at bay, and when you wake up screaming from the sight of the man's head exploding, you find the bed empty, causing your pulse to spike. 

You glance around, find the room empty, and then reach for your phone. Your heart sinks when you see a notification from Namjoon and none from Yoongi, and you heavy-blink, thumbing over your bright screen to open and read the text.

Joonbug: Sorry if you wake up and I'm not there. I'm having a hard time sleeping and didn't want to keep you up, so I walked home. I'll be back in the morning. <3 Call me if you need anything.

Truthfully, you find it hard to blame Namjoon. Twice, you startled him with your screaming, and he has been complaining lately about struggling to fall asleep and stay asleep. Plus, he has been seeking a lot more alone time. 

You: Woke up screaming again, so you made the right call by leaving. 

You half expect Namjoon to already be asleep, noticing it is just before two in the morning. So when he begins to type, you are surprised. 

Joonbug: Shit, I'm sorry, sweetheart. Want me to come back?

On one hand, you think it would be nice to have someone around. But on the other hand, you are not sure it is Namjoon's attention that you crave. Although you love him dearly, the two of you seem to be on different planes of existence lately. Ships passing quietly in the night, both emotionally and physically. Spending too much time together right now might do more harm than good. 

First, you dial Yoongi. Hearing his voice would do wonders for your emotional state, and he is the first person you want to talk to about what has been on your mind. But the phone rings and rings, and eventually goes to voicemail. "This is Min," the somewhat robotic tone of your boyfriend's voice says—disconnected and not meant solely for you the way you need his voice to sound. "Leave a message."

You hang up and hover your thumbs over your screen, attempting to gather your thoughts. Yoongi is unreachable, and Namjoon is distant, but perhaps Jeongguk is free. 

Jeongguk answers on the third ring, "Hey, doll? Late night booty call?" 

You graze your teeth over your lip, laughing as you say, "Maybe. Would you be into that?"

A scoff followed by, "Fuck yes I would be!" makes you smile widely. Then he adds, "Lemme just run it by Tae, alright?"

"Of course," you respond, realizing you should probably also discuss it with Namjoon. "Otherwise, we could just…I don't know…get fucked up? Even Xanax isn't cutting these nightmares and I just wanna get out of my head for a while."

"I can definitely help you with that," Jeongguk responds happily. "Lemme text you in just a minute, okay? After I speak with Tae?"

"Sounds good."

Jeongguk hangs up, and you smile to yourself, opening your neglected conversation with Namjoon. 

You: Actually, I was thinking about finally hanging out with Jeongguk. Kinda just want to get drunk, maybe get a little high. I need to get out of my head. As long as you don't mind.

Joonbug: Understandable. I hope you don't think you have to ask me for permission. I definitely want you to feel free to go spend time with him and have some fun. 

You: If things get a little heated, though…are you okay with that?

Joonbug: If what you need right now is to fuck Jeongguk, I fully support that.

You: Thanks, Joonbug. <3 I love you!

Joonbug: I love you too, sweetheart.

Gguk: Tae is down with whatever we feel like doing. Come to mine? Do you remember how?

You: Joon gave me his blessing, too. :) I think I remember.

Gguk: On second thought, stay put, and I'll come get you. It's dark out. 

You: Sounds good. I'll put on something slutty in the meantime. 

Gguk: Oh, fuck yeah! Be there soon!

Thankful that you had the energy to shower before your several failed attempts at sleeping earlier, you jump out of bed and run to your bedroom. Hanging amongst the sundresses is a little black satin slip dress with spaghetti straps and lace along the edges, and you peel off Namjoon's oversized dark grey tee and toss it to the floor. 

The dress fits snugly, squeezing your breasts and waist, creating inviting curves and cleavage, and you opt not to wear any panties underneath as you marvel at the high slit up your right thigh. 

You apply a little eye makeup, both because it feels like it has been a lifetime since you have looked in the mirror and liked what you have seen, but also because you like the thought of it streaking down your face later, should Jeongguk find some delicious reason to make you cry.

Once you are satisfied, you begin to make your way out to the mezzanine, and you are surprised to find Jeongguk standing at the foot of the stairs; you didn't hear him come in. 

"Jeongguk," you mutter, feeling your heart pound as his lips pull into a hungry grin. He wears a white tee and black basketball shorts, and his short dark hair is unstyled and a little disheveled. You stare at him, unsure whether he is real. How long has it been since the two of you crossed paths? Far too long. 

"Dollface," Jeongguk groans, toying with his lip ring in his teeth. "God damn you look amazing."

As you reach for the railing and begin down the cold marble stairs, you feel a slight tremble in your limbs. Jeongguk watches you like a predator eyeing his prey, and you have forgotten what it feels like to be caught in a stare this hungry. 

"How do you feel about doing some molly?" he asks when you are halfway downstairs, and you hesitate, cocking your head to the side. 

"I don't know. What does it feel like?"

"Euphoric. Calming. Mixed with coke, it'll really wake you up and make you feel alive."

That does sound good, and you smile. "Alright. I'm down."

"I was thinking we could break into the pool bar and chase it down with some champagne, then walk over to my place?"

"Alright," you respond as you reach the last step, standing at eye level with him. 

Jeongguk reaches for your thighs, rubbing his hand up the sides, and you wiggle away in part because his gentle touch tickles, but also to keep him from discovering that you are not wearing any panties. If he finds out this early on, the two of you will never make it back to his place, and you are curious to see how he lives. 

As you side-step and scurry down to the landing, Jeongguk complains but obliges, turning on slippered feet and walking ahead to deal with the glass door. You are barefoot, and you tiptoe on the rough ground as Jeongguk makes his way to the bar and opens a mini fridge. 

"Bingo," he sing-songs, holding up two bottles of champagne with a wide grin, as if the task took any effort at all. Still, you clap excitedly for him as he rounds the bar with both bottles in hand. 

"I bet this dress would look great soaking wet," Jeongguk says, eyeing you once more like a ravenous beast while making his way to the nearest table. 

He plops down sideways on one of the pool beds and sets the bottles down, then pats his leg for you to join him. You make your way over and sit gingerly on his knee, keeping your legs closed and avoiding the urge to straddle him while he works one of the bottle corks open. 

"Let's keep the dress dry, for now," you bargain, reaching up to rub your fingertips along the undercut just above his ear.

Jeongguk bites his bottom lip while pulling out the cork, and when it comes loose with a loud pop, he opens his mouth wide, then grins. With one hand, he holds up the bottle and fishes into his pocket with the other. Then he pulls out a little clear baggie with six tiny capsules full of purple dust. 

"They're pretty small portions, so you can get a feel for it," he says as he hands the baggie to you and you begin to work its tiny plastic zipper open. "If it feels good and you want more, we can take more."

"Okay," you mutter somewhat nervously as you reach out and take a tiny capsule in your fingertips. 

"Ahhh," Jeongguk exclaims, and you look up to find his mouth open wide and tongue hanging open. 

Although you know he is asking for a pill, you lean in close and lick the length of his tongue nice and slow, marveling at the way his taste buds feel. Then you lift the pill and place it right in the center, watching as he seems to struggle to comprehend what just happened. 

With a giggle, you say, "Go on…swallow like a good boy," and Jeongguk takes a long swig from the champagne and then fixes you with a curious gaze. 

"Your turn, beautiful," Jeongguk says, making your cheeks blaze. "Be good for me and swallow. Or are you more of a spitter?"

Jeongguk's predictability is a perfect match for how corny he is, but although you roll your eyes, you lean close and ask, "Aren't you eager to find out?"

"Of course I am," he mutters, a hairswidth from your lips, and you turn your head just far enough to the side to pop one of the molly capsules onto your tongue. 

Jeongguk lifts the champagne and says, "Open for me, doll," and you tilt your head and part your lips, nervous but excited for him to pour champagne into your mouth. 

You expect him to make a mess, so when it spills over past your lips, you simply swallow what has been poured into your mouth and roll with it. Jeongguk licks from your chin to the crease of your lips, making an even wetter mess than the dribbled champagne, and you giggle as you attempt to stand from his lap, only to be held in place. 

"Not so fast," he says as he digs through his shorts pocket and holds up his little metal cocaine vial. "It'll take a little bit for the drugs to kick in and I want my senses heightened now."

"Oh?" you ask, cocking your head as you watch him scoop a considerable pile to snort into one nostril, followed by a second pile into the other. Jeongguk sighs and tips his head back, pressing the side of his knuckle against each nostril as he deeply sniffs inward once more, then he fixes you with a wide smile and offers you the cocaine. 

You trade him, handing off the little baggie of molly capsules, and in swift movements, you take the little metal vial with a spoon attached to its cap, and you snort a small pile into each nostril, then hand it back. As you press against the side of each nostril with your knuckle and inhale, Jeongguk watches you with eyes already somewhat glazed over, and you stand from his lap, smoothing out your tiny dress. 

"Eager to get away from here?" Jeongguk asks, gaze downturned slightly. 

With a shrug, you glance around and realize that yes, you really are eager to get away, at least for a little while. "I guess so. I've been cooped up."

"Alright," Jeongguk says, reaching for your hand. You take it, then grab the unopened bottle of champagne in the other. "Let's get out of here."

Jeongguk is careful and meticulous in the way he locks up the back door, then he takes your hand again to walk through the main hall, to the front door. He slides out of Yoongi's slippers and into some sandals, and you put on the pair of black ballet flats. 

Once outside, Jeongguk closes and checks the door, then he takes your hand once again and leads you around to the left, toward Seokjin's place. The night is so quiet you hear the sounds of crickets in the trees and the crunch of gravel underfoot. 

Jeongguk sighs and squeezes your hand, and you hum questionably, squeezing his back.

"Nothing," he says, turning to look at you. The path opens near Seokjin's home, and the two of you hang a left and continue along the side of the house to the back, where more trees separate each property. "I guess I'm just surprised sometimes."

"By what?" you ask, turning to look at Jeongguk, who turns to meet your gaze. The cocaine buzzes through your system while a nasty little drip can be tasted at the back of your throat.

"By you."

You scoff, feeling somewhat shy. "What do you mean?"

"Well, you did hate me when we first met," Jeongguk begins. 

"Because you were an asshole," you add. 

"And…I don't know. I was surprised when Yoongi and Namjoon were so open to the idea of us. Even tonight, I expected hyung to say no and keep you all to himself."

"Ah," you mutter, eyes on the ground. You begin to walk between more dark trees, enshrouded by their shadows, and you feel grateful that Jeongguk came to get you so that you wouldn't be walking this path alone. "Namjoon and I have been kind of distant, so I'm not surprised."

"Still?" Jeongguk asks.

"Yeah. Still."

"Damn. That sucks."

It does suck, but you feel awkward talking about it. "It's whatever," you lie. "He wants space and went to his house tonight, which is why I called you. Didn't really want to be alone."

"So I'm second place, wow," Jeongguk teases, squeezing your hand.

"Third when Yoongi is around," you tease back, turning to flash a playful grin. 

The rest of the walk is quiet, and when you reach Jeongguk's home, you are a bit surprised by the number of sports cars in his driveway—four, to be exact. His house is a carbon copy of the others, but there is practically no greenery in the yard, only metal workout equipment, including a pull-up bar and some other items that are tough to make out in the dark. 

Jeongguk lets go of your hand as you approach the front entrance, and he punches in a long passcode before opening the door wide and nodding for you to enter. The living room light is already on, and as you toe out of your shoes, you find a scarcely decorated room with a couch pushed far too close to a television, and a punching bag sitting in the center of the space. 

You fail to bite back laughter, and when Jeongguk takes your hand and leads you up the stairs, he asks, "What?"

"Nothing," you mutter, eyeing the empty walls that have never been painted from their original white. "Just didn't take you for such a bro."

"Shut up," Jeongguk gripes, yanking on your arm and making you laugh even harder. 

The upstairs hallway is just as plain, and as soon as he releases your hand and switches on the light, illuminating the bright white space, you squint and turn it off.

"I need fucking sunglasses if you're going to do that," you chide.

Jeongguk continues pulling you down to the room at the end of the hallway, making you wonder what might be in the other rooms. Does he have sex dungeons just like Taehyung? Perhaps a matching throne?

Rather than switching on the overhead light in his master suite, he thumbs around his phone and opens an app. "What color would her highness like the bedroom to be?" he asks with a grin, and you get onto your tiptoes to see the screen and then press where the color wheel is purple. 

Slowly, the lights come on in an inviting deep purple glow, and you nod approvingly, then enter the space. At least his bedroom is decorated with dark walls and bedding, and some photos hung here and there. 

The four-poster bed is straight ahead, and to the right are two large leather chairs. Along the far wall, beside a large window, is a big wooden x with leather restraints on each end—two for wrists and two for ankles, you surmise. 

As you step forward, your entire body feels a little off-kilter. It is slight but enough to make you dizzy, and you hold your arms out, clenching the bottle of champagne as you mutter, "Whoa."

"Starting to kick in?" Jeongguk asks as he walks past and sets his bottle on a bedside table. 

"Maybe," you respond, unsure what it feels like for the drug to kick in. 

Jeongguk approaches, takes the bottle from your hand, and you find yourself leaning and swaying slightly with each of his movements as if your body feels desperate for his warmth. 

"Will you kiss me?" you whine, watching as Jeongguk's mouth pulls into a dopey smile and then sharpens into something much cockier. 

He turns away to place the champagne bottle down, then returns in several large steps, taking you gently by the face with both hands and pressing his lips against yours. Jeongguk groans as he sucks your bottom lip between his teeth, making you gasp. You let your mouth fall open wide, feeling excitement and arousal simmer through you, and Jeongguk licks across your tongue hungrily, moaning and growling as he tastes and teases. 

"Fuck," he pants as he releases the kiss, pressing his forehead into yours. "You are amazing. And I'm definitely coming up."

You feel tingly and electric, filled to the brim with desire and love and the need to touch and taste and enjoy. Jeongguk is warm and floral but musky, and he tastes like sour cocaine and bittersweet champagne. 

"Thirsty," you mutter as your lips chase after his.

Jeongguk kisses you more but walks you backward, toward the champagne. Rather than reach your target destination, his ass bumps into the edge of his bed, and you giggle into one another's mouths before you peel yourself away and reach for the open bottle. 

Suddenly, you feel as if you have run a marathon, and you have to stop and catch your breath. "I feel kind of overwhelmed," you admit, to which Jeongguk hums and says, "That's normal."

With the champagne in hand, Jeongguk leads you over to the large window at the far end of the room and opens it, letting in a nice cool breeze. The view is a massive, empty expanse of land with the city in the distance, and you stare across the shadows of trees and hills. 

"I feel trapped in limbo," you mutter, unsure why you are saying it aloud. 

Jeongguk wraps his arms around your waist and rests his head on your shoulder. When he asks, "Why is that?" his voice is soft and sweet. 

"I love Yoongi and Namjoon…and I care a lot about the rest of you," you turn your head, rubbing the tip of your nose against his, "especially you."

"But?"

With a sigh, you turn your gaze back to the dark outdoors. "But I don't feel safe, and I have to be heavily medicated just to sleep, now. I lost several days to the fog of starting a new medication, and both Yoongi and Namjoon are distant. I feel like everything is slipping through my fingers and it scares the shit out of me."

"Maybe you need to get away for a little while. Take a trip."

You hum and consider what he says, pushing out the thought of Seokjin's words from earlier, but then scoff, shaking your head. "Take a vacation just to return to a lifestyle of violence. I don't know, I mean, what's the point?"

"Seokjin hyung says they struck a deal with the girls in Busan. That will drastically cut back on the violence."

"But there are other families in Korea," you say without having too much evidence to back up your statement outside of comments here and there made by the men while in your presence over the many months you have been here. 

"Everyone else is neutral, and we do business with them from time to time. Our only adversaries are overseas, and it is not often that the yakuza comes to fuck with us."

A small comfort considering how quickly things could escalate, should they choose to hop on a ferry and start shit, but you accept it for now. This conversation feels too heavy, and you want to be light.

You do feel somewhat light, made of overcooked noodles, but also heavy and buoyant, and you sway your hips and close your eyes. "We need music."

"What kind of music?" Jeongguk asks, grabbing his phone and holding it out for you. 

"Anything," you mutter, "pick something."

After only a few seconds, soft R&B comes on, and the music surrounds you in a way that feels like speakers are placed along each inch of the room. You dip and sway a little deeper, following the music while dragging your ass over Jeongguk until he begins to hiss and grip at you. 

"Gonna make me hard dancing like this," he groans, nipping somewhat forcefully at your neck. 

"I think the pills have dulled my sex drive, just like you said," you complain as you lift the bottle of champagne and take a drink. The carbonation cloys your senses, but you are thirsty, and you continue drinking until you are forced to stop and take a deep breath. When you turn and hand off the bottle, Jeongguk's pupils are bloodshot, and he looks a bit sleepy. "I haven't been able to cum. It's making me lose my mind."

Jeongguk drops to his knees and sets down the bottle, and you lean back against the window, body angled with your pelvis outward, in his face. As he rubs his hands up your thighs, pushing your short black skirt higher, you watch as his eyes widen and mouth drops open. 

"No panties," Jeongguk muses, looking high as shit and happy as can be. When his gaze lifts and finds you, he shakes his head and heavy-blinks as he mutters, "You are fucking incredible."

Without another word, he sits high on his knees and licks over your cunt, sucking your clit between his lips before absolutely devouring you. The surge of pleasure that rocks through you causes you to tremble and jolt forward, and you splay your hands against the wall in an attempt to hold yourself steady. 

Jeongguk is sloppy yet practiced in the way he eats you, alternating wide, wet laps and quick little flicks of his tongue. He zeroes in on your clit, sending shockwave after shockwave through you, aided by the molly to feel better than anything has felt in days.

Although the pleasure is intense and enrapturing, your high builds and builds, only to plateau at a devastatingly high peak. You want to cum so badly, you begin grinding your pussy against Jeongguk's mouth and moaning loudly. Jeongguk grips onto your thighs and does his best to keep up with your movements, slurping and humming like a man enjoying his first meal after a long fast.

"Finger me, Jeongguk," you beg, desperate for release.

Jeongguk does as he is told, plunging his fingers hard and deep. He finds your sweet spot and fucks into it nice and fast, and that is all it takes to push you over the edge, spraying your release against his face and your thighs. Rather than slow or stop, he continues to finger fuck you while lapping at your clit, forcing you to cum once more, and you scream between deep gasps for air. 

Euphoria drowns you in its tidal wave, and you begin to spiral, suddenly needing to slow down and catch your breath. "Too much," you whimper as your knees buckle, and Jeongguk stops his movements and stands, caging you in against the window. 

"How do you feel?" he asks, pressing his lips against yours and filling your senses with your own tangy, heady taste and scent. 

"Great," you respond against him, then turn your head, still finding it hard to catch your breath. "But a little overwhelmed."

"You're probably still coming up, here," Jeongguk says, taking your hand and pulling you away from the wall while rubbing his mouth and chin clean with his forearm. It feels strange to walk, and you stumble a bit into him, leaning your weight against his chest. 

"Let's just slow dance a little," he suggests with a sweet smile, and you drape your arms around his shoulders, incapable of denying him anything. Jeongguk gently grabs your hips and begins to lead you right to left in a small circle. "How is this?"

"Nice," you sigh with a smile, resting your cheek against his chest. "Thank you."

You are unsure how long the two of you stay like this, but several songs cycle, and your high continues to build until it finally seems to even out. Although you feel less jittery and heavy-light, you still feel somewhat otherworldly, finding you have an overwhelming urge to divulge all your deepest secrets to him. Evidently, he feels the same.

"Do you think you could fall for someone like me?" Jeongguk asks, breaking a long silence and taking you by surprise. 

If you were sober, you would be absolutely panicking—possibly even running for the hills. But being this high, you simply shrug and say, "Of course, I could. Don't ask silly questions."

"Shit," he mutters, nuzzling his face against your neck as he chuckles, and you wonder if Jeon Jeongguk is actually shy? "That was too easy. And probably not something I should have asked."

You laugh as you hum and mutter, "Yeah, probably not. I don't think any good could come of us confessing those types of feelings to one another, all things considered."

"True," Jeongguk says, laughing as he stands straight and looks you in the eye. He is absolutely beaming as he says, "I'll just keep it to myself, then," and pretends to zip his lips shut.

The thought that Jeongguk could be confessing to something so large should horrify you, but all you can do is smile. You are too high and too happy to unpack anything of this magnitude right now. 

After another song, you feel the sudden, aching urge to tie Jeongguk to his bed and make him fall apart. And that is exactly what you ask him with your eyes wide and pleading. 

"Let me tie you to your bed and make you fall apart? Please?"

Jeongguk gasps and grins, nodding as he says, "There is nothing in this world I could want more."

You begin to paw at his shirt, lifting the bottom hem over his head and tossing it to the floor. Your eyes linger on the black shapes etched from his shoulder down to his fingers, then you continue the task at hand and reach for the waistline of his shorts. 

As the garment falls to the floor in a heavy thud, undoubtedly from his cell phone being in his pocket, Jeongguk steps backward, leaving it in a pile, and you realize he also wore nothing underneath his clothing. Jeongguk bends and fishes his coke vial out, then begins slowly backing between the large leather chairs toward his bed. 

"No panties," you tease, closing in on Jeongguk, who continues to walk backward toward his bed. You reach your fingertips out, dancing them over his inviting hip bones. "You are fucking incredible."

Jeongguk chuckles, fixing you with a shy smile that makes your heart melt. When the backs of his legs hit his bed, he lets out a little snort-laugh, and then he begins to unscrew his vial and sniff two piles of cocaine into each nostril. He hands the drugs to you, then he turns and begins to pull a strap out from under his mattress, which you are absolutely unsurprised to see. 

"There's one on each corner," he says, and you snort two little piles into each nostril, then close the vial tightly and toss it onto the comforter. You take the hint and round the end of the bed, fishing around for another strap, and when you find it, you pull it out, and set it on the corner of the mattress. 

As you move to the head of the bed and find the last strap, Jeongguk gets onto the mattress, on his hands and knees and crawls into the center. "Want me lying down or sitting up?" he asks, and you lick your lips before saying, "Lie down."

Jeongguk settles in the center and pulls his hands over his head, and you get onto the bed on your knees and begin to restrain him, starting with one wrist, and then leaning over him with your chest hanging in his face to restrain the other. 

To your surprise, the straps seem to be the perfect length to keep Jeongguk spread without there being much give. Once his ankles are in place, you crawl up to him and settle between his legs, bending close to breathe warmth against his hard, pretty cock. 

Jeongguk whimpers and writhes in his restraints, and you lean to the side, slowly dragging your lips over the soft, supple skin of his thigh. He smells musky and familiar in a way that clenches at your heart, and suddenly, the weight of his confession moments ago begins to sink and settle through you, digging its claws in deep. 

Do you think you could fall for someone like me? Asked so simply and casually, as if one asks about the weather. 

Perhaps it is the combination of substances working their way through your system, but you begin to feel claustrophobic and nauseous, and you squeeze your eyes closed. Something simmers and sticks in the back of your throat, and all you can do is gasp for air. 

"Doll?" Jeongguk asks, voice lilted with worry, and you swallow the lump and plaster on a smile, determined to make him feel just as good as he made you feel. You must do it; you need to.

"Just a little overwhelmed," you mutter, dragging your lips and teeth over the meat of his thigh, toward the musky shaved pubes at the base of his very inviting cock. 

You wet your lips and drag them up and down his shaft, flicking your tongue out to coat it in as much saliva as you can muster, but your mouth is fucking dry from the drugs, and it stresses you out. 

"Need the champagne," you whine as you sit up quickly and turn to hop-slide off the bed. 

But you may as well be landing on the moon as you teeter and sway and stumble. You hold your arms out somewhat for balance and struggle to remember just how gravity works as you get your footing and rush over to the neglected champagne bottle by the window. 

All the while, you attempt to pep talk yourself, chugging the tepid bittersweet liquid that is so heavily carbonated it fills your mouth like a gas, until you have no choice but to burp. And then you return to the bed, repeating in your head that this is something you want to do more than anything, and that it should be okay for you to love Jeongguk, if only for tonight. 

Tomorrow you can unpack it and spiral accordingly, but tonight, you need to just enjoy the ride. You want to enjoy the ride. 

Either Jeongguk can sense that something is off, or it is written clearly on your face, because his brows are knit, and his head is tilted upward as far as it can be with the restraints holding his arms splayed up and out. 

"You're so handsome," you slur as you approach the bed, and set the bottle down on the small table, then you grip onto the comforter with both fists and hoist yourself back up onto the mattress. You mean it when you ask, "How did I get this lucky?"

You straddle Jeongguk's chest and lean forward, giving him an eyeful of a glistening wet pussy that he can't reach with his hands or lips while you lean forward and swallow his cock whole. Your mouth is still a little too dry, so you press him in nice and deep, forcing yourself to slowly gag from lack of oxygen while saliva pools and pools under your tongue. 

"Fuck, holy shit, doll," Jeongguk whimpers from behind you, urging you on further. You suck his cock forcefully, desperate to milk him, and listen to him sob. Jeongguk is vocal, moaning and bleating and begging while he writhes in his restraints, hips bucking and trembling beneath you. 

You stick a finger into your mouth to wet it, then reach under Jeongguk's balls to rub little circles against his rim, and he loses it—yanking on the restraints while singing long, pretty notes of pleasure. 

Without warning, he cums in your mouth, and you gag, letting some of it hit your soft palate before dripping past your lips. But you swallow the rest, sucking on his tip and moaning while he shoots rope after rope onto the back of your tongue. 

"Holy fuck," Jeongguk sobs. "Oh my fucking god!" 

You feel elated and higher than before, humming and pleased with yourself for making him cum in what has felt like mere minutes. 

"Please let me taste you, noona," he begs, and you sit up slightly and back into his face, shoving your pussy and ass against his mouth and only giving him enough room to lick and suck desperately, but not enough room to breathe. 

When you move away, he whimpers, and you decide that you want to be even more high than you already are. The goal was to get fucked up and out of your head, and here you are, lodged so deep in your swirling thoughts that you fear you might just go mad. 

"Mind if I do more coke?" you ask as you crawl forward past Jeongguk's torso and settle haphazardly between his legs. The vial is right where you left it, and you reach for it before he can respond. 

You snort two little piles into each nostril—four total—and then screw the lid back on before tossing it aside and turning to face your prize. Jeongguk is covered in a sheen of sweat, eyes blown wide as the heavens, and you reach for his half-hard cock and begin stroking it back to life. 

"Damn, it takes you no time at all to get hard again," you mutter with a smirk, falling slightly forward as you attempt to straddle and crawl up him. 

Jeongguk's expression is a mix of desire and concern, and when you finally have your hands planted on both sides of his head, you lean low and close, breasts spilling from your dress, as you take his bottom lip between his teeth and suck hard enough to make him shout.

"You really fucked me up with what you said," you chuckle against his lips, feeling your heart squeeze in your chest. The overwhelm has returned, and you press your forehead against his, fighting for air. "Why did you—" you croak, suddenly overcome with the urge to sob. 

You do not want to fall for Jeongguk. You cannot do something so foolish.

Jeongguk struggles in his restraints, yanking his hands downward and attempting to sit up, but rather than help him, all you can do is lean into him and cry. Everything is so fucking messed up, and you need it to go back to normal. You cannot possibly stay with this family if things do not go back to some semblance of normal; being here and feeling so much worry and heartache is eating you alive. 

"Noona, undo my restraints," Jeongguk urges, yanking his wrists uselessly downward. They are only cloth straps held together by velcro, but the angle and distance of them make it hard for him to reach one hand with the other. 

Jeongguk struggles, and all you can do is sink further, burying your face into his neck while a never-ending stream of sadness pours from you. It feels strange to be this devastated because you also feel an outpouring of love and affection—happiness that is so strong and present, it fucking terrifies you. 

"I can't—" you sob, unsure what you are referring to, just certain that everything is too much and all of it needs to stop. 

"Dollface, hey," Jeongguk pleads before saying your first name, "please let me out of the restraints."

"Jeongguk," you whine, tears and snot coating your face, which smear onto his neck. "I can't do this anymore. I can't stand it."

Jeongguk groans and strains hard as he reaches to undo his wrists, and you cling to him as all the emotion drains from your face with loud heaving breaths and deep, rattling sobs. You hear the tearing of velcro, one after the other, and then Jeongguk wraps his arms tightly around you while sitting the two of you up, cradling you in between his thighs. 

"Oh, baby," he mutters lowly against your temple, hands and arms doing their best to comfort you while he gently rocks back and forth. "I'm so sorry. I had no idea the drugs would make you feel this way."

"I'm sorry," you whine, drawing out each syllable, feeling utterly ashamed and embarrassed. The sweat on your skin has turned cold, and you shiver in his arms. "I feel really, really fucking happy too, but it just…I'm so scared, Jeongguk. I'm so fucking scared."

 “It’s okay to be scared. I’m here for you,” Jeongguk says your name, placing a firm, slow kiss against your temple, making you shudder out a sob. “I’ll hold you until you feel better.”

You know that he is here for you—that he would hold you through absolutely anything. And that just adds to the ineffable pile of terrifying possibilities. 

“I’m too high to sleep,” you whimper, sniffling pathetically as your exhale shakes through your mouth. 

“Me too, baby, don’t worry,” Jeongguk chuckles, squeezing you tightly in his embrace. “I got you, don’t worry. You’re safe with me.”

True to his word, Jeongguk does hold you until you feel better. For hours, you sit on his bed, muttering through half-truths about your fears and your loves, your hopes and your dreams. When you shower off the cold sweat, you lean into his chest, and when he dresses you in a sweatshirt and joggers that swallow you whole, he keeps at least one arm around you at all times.

As the sun rises high, you finally stop shivering from the comedown, Jeongguk carries you home on his back, and you smile as the sunlight warms your cheeks. The only time Jeongguk lets go of you is when you find Namjoon standing out by the front door, smoking a joint. 

Namjoon’s smile shines as bright as the early afternoon sun, and as you slide down Jeongguk’s back, setting your feet onto the ground, you run into Namjoon’s arms, throwing yourself into him, catching a whiff of welcoming musk and the skunky stench of weed. 

“Sweetheart, did the two of you have fun?”

You smile brightly and only half-lie when you say yes because, despite all the tears, your heart feels so full. 

“Thanks, Jeongguk,” you say as you release Namjoon and turn around. 

Jeongguk stares at the ground for a beat, then he looks up and smiles. There is an unmistakable sadness in his eyes, and you fight the urge to run back to him. 

“Thanks for the late night booty call, dollface,” he says with a wink, clearly doing his best to cover whatever else is going on in his mind. 

You watch as Jeongguk waves and spins on his heels, walking back to the gravel path. 

“You two are so cute,” Namjoon says sweetly as he engulfs you in a warm, familiar hug. 

"Is that so?" you ask as you spin in Namjoon’s hold and wrap your arms around his middle. 

He seems to have lightened up, and he hums in agreement, making you smile. You feel eager to enjoy your day with him. You have cried rivers in the past several days, and all you want is to breathe easily and feel happy. Even if someone important is missing. 

“I spoke to Yoongi,” Namjoon says, making you gasp and take a step back. His smile is soft and inviting, dimples creasing his cheeks with bloodshot eyes, and you stare expectedly. “What do you say we fly to Hong Kong tomorrow and bring him home?”

Frantically, you nod, feeling your heart boom in your chest. Namjoon takes one more drag of his withering joint and flicks it out into the driveway.

“He regrets creating distance and he wants to talk about it in person,” Namjoon says, eyes trailing left to right as if reading your face. “Rest assured that we have done nothing to push him away.”

You wish you could believe him, but there is physical proof of something you have done to potentially make Yoongi want distance. But you smile and accept this explanation, for now. 

“Are you hungry?” Namjoon asks, releasing his hug, leaving just an arm around your waist. 

“Starving!” you exaggerate, feeling an empty pit grumbling where your stomach should be. 

The front door is propped open, and Namjoon kicks out of his slippers while you leave behind your ballet flats, then he leads you into the kitchen. 

“I’ve been craving eggs benedict, so i had the chef whip up some hollandaise sauce. Does that sound good to you?”

You glance up with a grin and say, “Awe, I was hoping you might burn the mansion down making me an omelet.”

Namjoon digs his fingers into your ribs, making you double over and squeal, grumbling about how he is not that bad of a cook. 

With your hands held high, you shout, “I submit! You’re an amazing cook!” while tears pool in your tired eyes. 

Namjoon halts his attack on your sides and ushers you along on wobbly legs to the kitchen. 

"Are these Gguk's clothes?" he asks brightly, tugging at the oversized hoodie near your ribs. 

You nod and look up at his bright, smiling face, basking in this moment of happiness. You tell yourself that, above all, you desperately need everything to work out and be okay, if only so that you can continue to have moments like these with the people you love. 

No matter what, things need to be okay. 

It's about time we get it straight Gimme a minute if it ain't too late It sounds about right, this can't be forced, babe 대충 무리였나봐, babe It shouldn't feel like this 애먼 기분만 해친 채 Hurts too much already 버티기가 이만큼 힘든데 Stay with me 'til the end of the day

Maybe we Could be Slow dancing Until the morning We could be romancing The night away

🎵 visit the playlist

a few little side notes: i didn't want to name what drug mc is taking because she's not having the best time, so i didn't want to stigmatize medication that anyone takes irl. like...we all know Xanax is used in wack/recreational ways, so that one feels ok to say by name, i guess?

anyway...the experiences mc has while on a cocktail of medications/drugs may not look the same as how your body may react to these, and that is okay. please do not bother me about how your experiences may differ with xanax and other medications, or molly and medications. (but for the sake of argument, i will say that sometimes when you do antidepressants and molly, the serotonin high hits too hard and fast and it can cause a very fast physical and emotional crash, which is why mc does not experience the pure euphoria that you might come to know and love from that drug.) it feels so weird to me when people hit me up to argue about this kind of stuff because everyone's bodies and brains are different, so please don't. this is a work of fiction above all else.

all that being said, i know i have said it before, but i will keep saying it: this story is sad, sad, sad from here on out. the overall end goal is something happy, but it won't feel that way for a while.

reblogs and comments are the lifeblood of this site, but likes are also super appreciated!!! thank you for reading, i love you!!!

a namjoon pov scene takes place between this chapter and the next one, where he devises a plan to get Yoongi back and has a heart-to-heart with mc. you can access his pov here (or learn parts of it in later chapters from the reader’s perspective!)

tag lists will be on separate reblogs! they’ve gotten too big to contain as one!

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Collateral is copyright 2022-2023 theharrowing, all rights reserved.

#yoongi mafia #yoongi x reader #namjoon x reader #jungkook x reader #yoongi smut #namjoon smut #jungkook smut #bts smut #bts angst #bts mafia #bts poly #namjoon mafia #jungkook mafia #fic: collateral

[xoxomoonlightxoxo]

Somewhere Between Hello and Goodbye | Ch. 1: The Infinity Necklace

“I love you too, Koo,” a faint whisper comes out of my parted lips as Jungkook’s eyes slowly close from the anesthesia spreading through his system, blocking any remaining signals of consciousness. Just an hour ago, this room was filled with our laughter as his teasing request to ruin our friendship bounced off the four walls, fueling the flush rising up my cheeks. Now, the same room is still, as if time itself has stopped, the walls, echoing merely the beeps of the heart monitor. 

As my body becomes numb to the cold floor, I lose track of time, dissociating into the far abyss. And as my eyes rest shut, it’s as if I can still feel his warm embrace, the way his grip tightens around my waist with every restless move I try to make. While hundreds of souls pass by my lifeless form under the dim lights of the main hallway, nothing but the scent of Jungkook’s vanilla musk lingers in the cold air. Koo, please tell me this isn’t real. 

"Mira, honey, wake up,” whispers of a familiar voice bring me back to reality as I feel a hand on my shivering shoulders. 

“Koo?” I reply momentarily, red, puffy eyes looking up in search of his being. One that was certainly no longer there, as my helpless hope ceased to exist upon seeing Tae’s worried face. Feeling my eyes swell with tears, his arms encompass my distressed self as my fatigued body gives into his warm embrace. Stroking my curls, his touch is gentle, cautious even. 

“It’s going to be okay Mira. Jungkook is a tough guy, he will be fine, alright?” he assures, wiping the tears rolling down my face, before turning his attention to Jimin's out-of-breath state as he rushes towards us.

“Sorry, the traffic was really bad,” Jimin explains to Tae before looking past his form as his eyes search my crouched body. 

“Mira, how are you? Do you want some water? I can grab you something from the cafeteria …” he goes on as the head surgeon and their team of staff exit Jungkook's room. Hearing the door close behind them, my eyes shoot up, slight hope regenerating within those tired orbs. 

“How is he? Can I see him? Please,” my voice was faint and shaky. Before proceeding with the prognosis the doctor clears her throat, looking over Jungkook's records. 

“The head injury experienced by Mr. Jeon has resulted in trauma that escalated dramatically, leaving him in a temporary coma. It is important to note that prior to our operation, the effects of the incident were seen in his inability to access the short-term memory in his brain. Despite meeting us just a few hours ago, Mr. Jeon was in visible distress, alarmed at the sight of “unrecognizable” doctors and nurses,” she explains, maintaining eye contact with all three of us, anticipating the potential inquiries that could come up.

“Fortunately, his vitals are good, which means that Mr. Jeon’s recovery shouldn't take longer than, I reckon, a week or two,” 

“What about his memory? Will he be able to recover it?” Jimin buds in, eyes still monitoring my state. Which to be truthful, was in complete shock. My body was experiencing everything and nothing all at once. At that moment, I could cry, hyperventilate, scream, yell, curse, and all of the above. But I didn't, instead, my eyes were trying to sneak even the slightest glimpse of Jungkook through the little window. 

“Doctor, could I please see him?” I plead, looking back at Tae and Jimin for their mutual help. 

“I'm sorry miss, but visitations are not allowed until the following day,” she says firmly, before being interrupted by Tae’s attempt at negotiation. 

“Please, doctor, could we stay just for tonight? We will leave first thing tomorrow morning. His family is all in Busan,” he explains. 

Looking back at the staff, the doctor clears her throat again before turning her gaze back on me with slightly furrowed brows. 

“Alright, but just for tonight. Please, do not disturb him,” her tone is strict and sharp. 

As my chest heaves up, I can feel my breathing speed up, throat tightening in the process. Eyes swelled up with tears, I pushed past the group of nurses and doctors and rushed toward Jungkook’s still body. His skin was pale and cold to the touch. Eyes closed, he looked completely helpless, form, small and fragile under the hospital lights. 

“Koo,” I whisper, before dropping beside him, intertwining my hand with his. Placing a gentle kiss on his soft skin, I wipe the teardrops rolling down my face before glancing back at Tae and Jimin, who stood still by the door frame. It’s their best friend, their brother, the baby of the group. Eyes scattering his form, they try to hold back their own tears, before coming in to comfort me again. 

As the night went on the room filled with silence, my eyelids getting heavier and heavier with each passing hour. Jimin went out to get us some food, while Tae stayed with me, gently caressing my hair as my head rested beside Jungkook’s. I didn’t mean to but I guess, my body couldn’t resist any longer, giving in to the fatigue as my eyes slowly shut. Falling asleep, I could feel Jimin covering my seated form with his jacket, as their voices became increasingly distant. 

“I can sleep on the floor, it's fine,” Jimin suggests.

“Are you insane? It’s cold and dirty, let’s just share the couch,” Tae says, before plopping his aching body on the soft cushion. Doing the same, Jimin exhales deeply, shaking his head trying to comprehend the aftermath of the situation. His analysis, however, was short-lived, as the two succumbed to their own fatigue, falling asleep rather quickly. And, as the beeping sound of the heart machine filled the atmosphere, I sneaked a quick glance at the couch, smiling upon seeing both friends covered under Tae’s jacket. 

- -

Staying true to our word, we were gone by the morning but as I looked back at Jungkook’s pale face the aching feeling in my heart grew stronger. 

“I’ll be back Koo, I promise,” I whisper into his ear, tearful gaze focused on his closed eyes. With hopes of receiving even the slightest sign of his consciousness, I wait just a little longer before covering his still body with the soft blanket. 

The following days were filled with visits from Jungkook’s faculty friends and work acquaintances, who brought anything and everything that once made him laugh. Eventually, as the room filled with his memories, the dim lights under which Jungkook slept became brighter, fueling back the life he was once so full of. 

“I hope you like it, baby,” I say softly, looking at the silver necklace around his neck. An infinity necklace. A symbol of never-ending love pillared on an unending bond between two people.

“Koo, you promised you wouldn’t leave. But, I guess, it’s my turn to wait for you now. I’ll wait for infinity if I have to. Just please come back to me,” my words mutter into the soft kiss on his forehead, as tears roll down my face. Leaning closer, I rest my head on his as we sit in the deafening silence. I miss his laugh and the little nose crunch that followed right after. I miss his bunny teeth and the way his doe eyes sparkled. I just miss … him.

- -

Laughter and chatter fill the lecture hall as the professor dismisses the class upon wishing everyone a restful winter break. Glancing at Tae, we exchange soft smiles before heading out. Although my body desperately needs this break, my mind and heart are just simply not at ease, so it’s hard to truly appreciate the free time. Especially, without the one person I was meant to spend it with. 

“I’m going to try out the bakery that just opened by our dormitory, do you want me to grab you something?” Tae asks with a boxy smile, eyes searching mine. 

“No, thanks Tae. I’m gonna drop by Jungkook, and see how he’s doing,” I say softly. Even though, we both know how he is doing. Unconscious and lonely. Nonetheless, I promised him I wouldn’t leave, so I tried to visit every day, becoming a familiar face to the receptionists working at the front. And, although Tae knows this isn’t the healthiest of coping mechanisms, he doesn’t have the heart to snap me out of it, so instead, he pulls me into a warm hug before we wave each other goodbye. 

- - 

Stopping by the flower shop, I grab a bouquet of tiger lilies which were Koo’s favourite, before heading to the hospital. As the winter season progressed, the days became colder and darker. But, nothing could stop me, especially not when even the mere thought of being beside Jungkook warmed my aching heart. So, there I was, rushing towards his embrace before being abruptly stopped in my tracks upon seeing the empty room. Nothing, and I mean nothing is left of Jungkook’s presence. Feeling my breathing increase, I double-check the room number, even though I’ve now memorized every inch of his premises. 

“Sorry, but where is the patient residing in room 9223?” I ask one of the nurses passing by. 

“Oh, Mr. Jeon has been discharged,” she replies calmly, her smile slowly fading upon seeing the way my eyebrows furrowed with confusion. 

“Discharged? By who? How? I was here yesterday, and he was still unconscious,” I exclaim, voice now shaky. 

“Mr. Jeon was discharged early in the morning by his parents,” the nurse continued before excusing herself as the ringing of her pager filled the silence between us. And, as my eyes swell with tears, I dial Jimin’s phone number, hoping he would know where Jungkook is. 

“Mira?” 

“Jimin? Jiminah, is Jungkook with you?” I stutter nervously, tears rolling down my flushed face. 

“No, I was just going to call you. His room is empty, what’s going on?” Jimin explains, sounding just as confused. 

“I don’t know, apparently, his parents came to pick him up,” I shake my head, trying to regain my composure as my hands begin to tremble. Jungkook wouldn’t leave without telling me. Right?

Next l Index

#bts #bangtan #jungkook x reader #jungkook x you #jungkook x yn #bts x yn #jungkook fanfic #fanfic #jungkook smut #romance #young love #college love #slow burn #jungkook angst #jungkook fluff #jungkook x female reader #jungkook #jeon jungkook #jungkook imagine #forbidden love #peaches & cream jk

[soft-for-yoongi]

Stomach bug (sick JK)

--------------------------------

Sick: Jungkook

Caretaker: Mainly Seokjin but Jimin and others too

Word count: 1887

Tw: mentions of nausea, stomach pain, vom*****

--------------------------------

Jungkook's stomach was rolling, nausea licked the back of his throat. He felt shaky and cold, but he felt sweat on his forehead. He was curled up in his bed. He'd lost track of the time, but it was an ungodly hour in the morning. He hugged his aching and cramping, upset middle. He jammed a fist to his mouth when a wet hiccup escaped him. He'd been tossing and turning but also tried laying as still as a stick, but sleep wouldn't come.

It took all his energy and will not to throw up as soon as he was upright. He saw Namjoon asleep and snoring on the bed across his, but he made his way to his hyung's room— Seokjin's room. He always knew what to do, and Jungkook felt great warmth and comfort when with him.

"J-Jin-hyung.." Jungkook felt like a child waking up his mother as he shook Jin's body. "Urg- Jungkook?" It took Seokjin a few blinks to realise the state of his dongsaeng. He saw the arm hugging his middle and his hunched over figure. He was sitting up in an instant. "Jungkook-ah? What's wrong?" Seokjin asked. Another hiccup almost sent Jungkook to his hands and knees.

"I don't f-feel good, hyung." Jungkook replies. "Awe, ahgi, is it your stomach?" Seokjin asks in a tender voice. Getting a stiff nod in return. "Okay baby, let's go to the bathroom, it sounds like you need to be sick." Seokjin gets up, wrapping an arm around Jungkook and guiding him to the bathroom.

Seokjin flicked the bathroom light on and lowerd the younger in front of the toilet. With the light he could see how pale and sweaty Jungkook looked. "Poor Kook.." Seokjin muttered, moving Jungkook's hair out his face and tying a mini ponytail.

Jungkook gripped his stomach but an intense cramp made him grab Seokjin's hand in alarm. "H-hyung-" Jungkook whimpered, "yes bunny? I'm here, let it out, it's okay." Seokjin says, rubbing up and down the maknae's back.

Jungkook makes a distressed noise before lurching with a gag, heaving up partially digested food. Seokjin can't remember the last time Jungkook has gotten this sick— Jungkook never gets sick.

Yoongi hears noises coming from the bathroom— vomiting noises. He walks into the bathroom and he doesn't know who or what he expected to be in there but it certainly wasn't Jungkook throwing up in the toilet. "Is he okay?" Yoongi asks Seokjin, concern written all over the rappers face.

"I think so." Seokjin gives the best answer possible without lying. The second oldest leaves the bathroom with a nod but comes back with water, a thermometer and a few small towels. Yoongi wets a towel and puts it at the back of Jungkook's neck, who hadn't even realised Yoongi was there and jumped at the touch, sending his stomach into a fit of cramps.

"Sorry Kook-ah, I didn't mean to scare you." Yoongi rubs the latter's back. Jungkook whimpers before a full crying session breaks out. "Aw Kook, you really don't feel good huh?" Seokjin says, pulling Jungkook closer and into his chest.

Seokjin and Yoongi share a look, "don't worry, go back to bed Yoongi-ah." Seokjin says and the rapper nods in understanding. "Okay, wake me up if you need help." Yoongi replies before walking out of the bathroom.

Yoongi sneaks in a quick heating pad into the bathroom shortly after and Seokjin smiles as a silent thanks. Seokjin tries gently to move Jungkook's arms away from his stomach but the boy just cries more. "Baby, come on, you'll feel better just wait." Jungkook gives in and moves his arms from the sensitive area.

Seokjin is quick to place the heating pad under Jungkook's shirt and hold it in place. Jungkook is a pile of limbs in Seokjin's arms. Now that Seokjin's hand on the heat pad has replaced his arms Jungkook wraps his arms around Seokjin, clinging to him desperately.

Jimin, who was playing video games heard Yoongi getting the heat pad and stuck his head out of his room. He saw Yoongi take it into his and Seokjin's room, they only used it when one of them had an injury or aching muscles. Concerned, the dancer followed after a few minutes of contemplating.

Jimin walked into his two oldest hyung's bedroom, he saw Yoongi laying on his bed and Seokjin's empty one but the bathroom light flicked on and muffled noises coming from it. Jimin walked into the bathroom.

Jimin was greeted with the sight of Seokjin and his youngest dongsaeng on the bathroom floor, one of them crying into the others shoulder. Jimin joined their little huddle. "Jin-hyung? What's wrong with Jungkookie?" Jimin was beyond worried because Jungkook isn't the type to cry often.

"Kookie's not feeling well, his tummy is a bit upset right now." Seokjin said, rubbing the maknae's back who gave a light hum. "Jungkookie.." Jimin said with a pout, hugging him and planting a kiss in his hair. It makes sense now, the heat pad and the foul smell, Jungkook's been sick.

Jimin spots a glass of water and grabs it, "have some water baby, you need to stay hydrated." Jimin holds the glass out for Jungkook, who's still very pale. "I-I can't." Jungkook shakes his head. "Please? Just a few sips to make hyung happy." Seokjin says and Jungkook nods eventually.

Jimin helps Jungkook take a few sips of water by holding the glass to his lips. Jungkook gets half the glass down at Jimin doing a little dance for him, but now he feels more nauseous and crampy. "Hyung it really hurts." Jungkook clings to his stomach. Jimin and Seokjin aren't sure who he was talking to but both of them whispered soft reassurances.

Jungkook leans his head to the side on Seokjin's shoulder, breathing in and out slowly. Seokjin holds Jungkook while Jimin tentively rubs his back, Jungkook jolts with hiccups every now and then and swallows with a grimace after each one.

A wet hiccup prompts Jungkook to move back to the toilet bowl, he hugs his stomach with one arm and holds onto the toilet with the other. Jimin pats his back and some of the water comes right back up and into the toilet with a gag. "Aish, you're really sick." Seokjin mutters, rubbing Jungkook's back.

Jungkook heaves up more water and tears come to his eyes. He let's out an involuntary whine and Jimin's eyes grow with more worry. "Kookie.." Jimin says, moving Jungkook's hair and wipping his tears with his sleeve.

Jungkook can't keep his eyes open as Jimin and Seokjin get into bed with him, Jimin spoons him from the back. Jungkook guides Jimin's hands to rub his stomach and Seokjin plays with his hair. With the loving touches Jungkook is finally asleep.

Jungkook coughs into the toilet bowl and Seokjin pats his back. "Jungkookie, let's go to bed, you're empty." Seokjin says and Jungkook moans in response. Jimin and Seokjin make a team effort in lifting Jungkook up from the floor. They guide him to Seokjin's bed and Jimin leaves to grab a bowl in case Jungkook needs to be sick again.

---

Taehyung wakes up at the smell of Seokjin's cooking, "hyunngg it smells so good." Taehyung puts his face into Seokjin's back, who's making eggs. "Morning Taehyungie, could you please check on Jungkook, he's in my room. He's had a rough night." Seokjin asks and the runner up maknae leaves to do as asked.

Taehyung thought Seokjin was a little more ancy than usual and Jimin had a weird look on his face, a stressed or worried one. But now he definitely knows somethings not right, he spots their designated 'puke bowl' on the bedside table of the bed Jungkook's in.

"Jungkookie?" He spots the boy tucked under the covers and Jimin with his arms wrapped around the younger. Jungkook's pale face and dishevelled hair is evidence to how his night went, as Seokjin said. Taehyung desides to wake up Jimin, gently shaking his shoulder. "Hyung, wake up." Jimin wakes up very quickly, "Huh?" Jimin is quick to look beside him and is glad when he sees Jungkook's still asleep.

"Taehyungie?" Jimin looks at his fellow 95 liner. "What happened with Jungkookie?" Taehyung has a concerned pout on. "Ah.. yeah, poor Kookie had a really bad night. He went to Jin-hyung's room, I don't really know what happened there but I found both of them on the bathroom floor. Kookie was crying and he looked to be in a fair bit of pain, he threw up twice but him and hyung were in there for at least an hour." Jimin explained and Taehyung was super worried for his only dongsaeng.

Speaking of the sickie, he woke up from the light talking of the other two maknaes, he automatically recognised the churning of his stomach and he tried not to give into a fit of dry heaves. Taehyung was the first to notice Jungkook waking up. "Jungkook-ah? How're you feeling?" Taehyung asked and Jimin turned imidiantly to look at the youngest when Taehyung started talking to him.

Jungkook grabs the bowl, Jimin and Taehyung help him into a sitting position. Jungkook hugs the bowl, Jimin keeps his hair out of the way and Taehyung is gently patting his back. Jungkook whimpers before gagging into the bowl, Jimin moves a hand to Jungkook's stomach and massages the upset organ.

Jimin saw the horribly familiar pale, sick face and brought the bowl over. Taehyung sat on the opposite side to Jungkook, rubbing his back. "Are you still feeling sick ahgi?" Jimin asks in a sweet voice although he's not pleased with the nod he gets from Jungkook.

Jungkook heaves up a small stream of bile, nothing else because he already threw everything up during the night. Taehyung feels so bad for Jungkook, it must be horrible to wake up and feel so sick. "Let it out bunny, you're doing great." Jimin's voice seems a lot calmer than Taehyung.

Jungkook dry heaves over the bowl and Jimin's eyebrows pull together. "You're empty Kook, relax." Jimin holds one of Jungkook's hands and runs his thumb over his knuckles.

Hoseok walks into the bedroom when Taehyung and Jimin are coaxing Jungkook through his breathing, who's still holding the sick bowl close to his chest. Hoseok's natural happy face is wipped off in seconds, replaced with worry for the youngest.

"Kookie? Jiminie, Taehyungie? What's going on?" Hoseok walks over to the three, sitting on the bed, right in front of Jungkook, taking in his pale features. "Jungkookie is sick.. has been since last night." Taehyung replies and Hoseok makes a sad face, "poor Kookie.." Hoseok strokes the maknae's hair.

"All done bunny?" Jimin asks Jungkook, who has stopped retching. He gets a stiff nod and moves the bowl onto the other bedside table. Hoseok moves closer to Jungkook and takes him into an embrace, the younger completely melting under his touch.

Jungkook feels all the love and smiles, clinging tighter. They probably won't be moving for a while.

Yoongi, Seokjin and Namjoon all come into the bedroom now, Namjoon aware that Jungkook's sick thanks to Yoongi telling him. They all wordlessly join in on the hug, all seven of them clinging to one and another, Jungkook in the middle.

#soft-for-yoongi writes #sick!jungkook #caretaker!seokjin #caretaker!jimin #nausea #sickfic #sick!bts #caretaker!ot7 #bts #bts!sickfic #jungkook #seokjin #jimin #taehyung #namjoon #yoongi #hoseok #bangtan #emeto #vomiting #stomach bug #emeto mention #emeto fic #sick #vomit mention

[peppertaemint]

Fandom dynamics really do differ across groups, and I side eye anyone trying to say otherwise. The kpop fandoms I've found to be the most toxic are EXO, BP and BTS. NCT has subfandoms plus an overall fandom, and each subfandom is different, but Dream's fandom gives the most "bts army" vibes.

The rivalry between Dream fans and 127 fans is on-going, and it reminds of what we're now seeing between BTS army, NewJeans fans and Le Sserafim fans. Having rivalries within the company is actually an old marketing method - it keeps the customer base diverse as different brands attract different people, who feel they're making a choice that reflects them, when all the money goes to the same parent company.

Interestingly, NCT 127 fans are very upset at various things currently (concepts, promotions etc), and their fans made a twitter poll to decide whether to boycott the group entirely over it. 💀 They didn't decide to do that (last I saw) but the orderliness of their discontent was interesting. Also the extremes they seemed willing to go to make their points.

Shawols remain incredibly pretentious (guilty as charged) with a superiority complex. I've never seem so many etiquette guides and gentle conflicts in my life. People go on [rest] over the online equivalent of someone looking at them the wrong way, lol. And I've seen people genuinely distressed over being blocked. Sigh. God forbid you use your lightstick at the wrong time or arrive late to an event. You will be written about on Twitter with your exact row number given. 💀

Solo fan groups function like a more intense version of NCT's subfandoms, because they create separate, conflicting agendas within a larger system. As a JK "bias" I am always first to admit JK fans 9/10 can be found crying in the corner. They (we?) will get butthurt and not make it anyone else's problem per se. Other solo fans, not so. I think PJMs fascinate me the most because I think like Jimin himself, you can't really slot them into one category. Hard to pin down, full of the unexpected. I won't mention Tae fans because that will get me in trouble.

Taemin fans are split between insular, true "solo" fans and those that lean toward SHINee or SuperM. I think they are similar to JK fans but spend less time in the corner and more time creating problems. They will watch old content and decide TM was sexually assaulted or insert him into anything and everything.

I'm exaggerating to make my point but basically I really don't buy the idea that all fandoms are the same, and that some are just worse because of the sheer number of people who are fans. I think that's an excuse. All fandoms have toxic behaviour or "bad" behaviour but they are not the same.

#fandom thoughts #kpop #kpop fandom #this is meandering but oh well

[kmseokjins]

Twisted Tails (Chapter 1)

Fandom: BTS Pairing: BTS x Reader / (Future) Poly!OT7 x Reader / Hybrid!BTS x Human!Female!Reader Warnings: angst (Jimin is upset) Words: 5.5k words (GOOD LORD.)

Summary: When you meet with your later sister’s lawyer, you’re not expecting to suddenly own two hybrids. Of course, things end up being a tad more complicated than that once you get to the shelter. Upset Jimin inbound.

Hybrids: GermanShepherd!Namjoon, BirmanCat!Jimin, more to come later!

Notes: Well, looks like I’m jumping on the Hybrid!BTS train. For now, this is mostly Jimin and Namjoon centered, but the other boys will be introduced down the line (feedback depending). I hope I didn’t make Jimin too clingy or anything. I’m so excited yet incredibly nervous to post this fic tbh. I hope y’all like it! Depending on the feedback I get, we shall see if there’s future chapters on the horizon! ;)  Special shoutout to @mygsii for help with this fic title! <3

Archive Of Our Own || Next Chapter

---------------------

“Your sister left her hybrids to you.”

“Wha-? I’m-I’m sorry, what?”

“Her two hybrids. She left them to you.”

“There has to be a mistake, I...I don’t know how to take care of a hybrid.”

“Her Will states it so, there is no mistake.”

You’re downright flabbergasted. When you had received the call from some lawyer’s office last week about your late sister’s estate, you hadn’t been expecting this. On top of the fact that you’d been shocked to hear that your sister had a Will; she was only four years older than you, for Pete’s sake! Leave it to your sister to give you grey hairs from beyond the grave. She’d left everything to you, including her two hybrids.

You knew about hybrids, of course. One would have to be living under a rock to not heard anything about them before. It had been a wild craze for decades now: “Own your own Hybrid! Companionship, pets, and more!” It made your stomach queasy just thinking about it. You heard the horror stories about hybrids being forced to participate in underground fighting (more often than not, to the death), subjected to hard labor, or used as sex slaves. You literally shuddered, and not in a good way.

Hybrids were half human, exhibiting the physical traits of whatever species they were crossed with in the form of tails, ears, claws, and eyes. Usually hybrids displayed one or two of those traits, although it wasn’t uncommon for them to display all those traits. In addition, hybrids also displayed the instincts of said species, some more than others.

You were somewhat familiar with your sister’s hybrids; you had met Namjoon and Jimin several times. They were both sweet and docile, and despite the fact that you had never owned a hybrid before, you were certain you had lucked out with the two. At least you weren’t bringing home two hybrids that didn’t know you..

“Where are they?” You straightened from your thoughts as you realized you hadn’t seen the hybrids yet. You hadn’t thought to ask about them last week when you’d been asked questions by the police; you had been too upset, wallowing in the grief of losing your big sister. How could you have been so heartless in not inquiring about Namjoon and Jimin? They had surely been grieving just the same as you at the loss of your sister.

The lawyer sitting at the desk in front of you glanced up at you over his thinly rimmed glasses, eyebrows furrowing slightly before he relaxed when he seemed to know what you were questioning him about. 

“They’re at the shelter downtown, the police too-,”

“What!?” You shot up from the chair you had been uncomfortably perched in, barely aware of the man jolting slightly at your sudden movement and your shout. They took them to the shelter? While most shelters weren’t bad, you could only imagine the stress Namjoon and Jimin were going through right now.

You were almost to the door when the lawyer stopped you, “Wait! You have to sign some things. I have documents and folders for you from your sister. Please, Miss L/N.” 

Your shoulders slumped before you whirled around and hurried back to the desk, hoping this signing wouldn’t take long.

-------------

“It won’t take long, Miss. It’s only a few signatures and then you can be on your way.” 

You grumbled sarcastically under your breath as you drove through downtown, fingers tapping impatiently on the wheel. What you thought would take ten minutes ended up taking twice that. The few documents and folders from your sister ended up being a box full. The said box, black and heavy, sat in the passenger seat of your SUV. The thin folder resting on top contained the papers for Namjoon and Jimin.

You wanted to look through the box, but you decided you could do that later after you got Namjoon and Jimin from the shelter. They didn’t need to be there any longer than they already were, it had been at least a week or so, according to the lawyer. God, what if someone had come in and adopted them!? Your sister would be rolling around in her grave if that were true. You’d seen how much she’d loved the two hybrids, if anything happened to them under your watch...she would come back to haunt your ass, you just knew it.

Your heart was fluttering in your chest as you pulled into the parking lot of the shelter and pulled into an empty parking spot, turning off your vehicle before taking a moment to survey the building. The parking lot had a few cars, which you assumed was mostly workers. The building was nice; a little too nice, if you really thought about it. The concrete walls were painted beige, the sign printed with the shelter name was big and neat, like it had just been put up to hang on the front of the building over the set of glass doors.

Taking a deep breath, you snag the folder on top of the box before sliding from your SUV and shutting the door, pressing the lock button as you made a beeline for the glass doors.

As soon as you stepped into the front lobby, you shivered slightly at the coolness. Someone apparently had the air cranked down. The lobby was a decent size with white walls, a few aesthetic paintings of flowers, and a row of chairs along one wall. The main desk was directly ahead, and you frowned at the sight of an empty chair. Clutching the folder in your hands, you approached and peered around.

“Hello?” You called out, wishing there was a bell or something you could ring. You jerked your attention towards the door behind the desk at several muffled shouts from behind it. Tilting your head curiously, you jerk back slightly when the door suddenly bursts open and a tall, blonde woman steps through.

“Oh! Hello!” She greets after a moment of silence, clearing her throat before she quickly takes a seat in the chair behind the desk. “I apologize if you’ve been waiting too long. Can I help you?” She flicks her dark eyes up to you expectantly for your answer.

“Oh, um, well,” You fumble to place the folder down on top of the desk as you also stumble for words, “I’m here to pick up two hybrids that the-,”

“You’re here for hybrids? Wonderful! Is there a certain species or gender you’re looking for? We have several prey hybrids and a few predator hybrids. We have deer, squirrels, wolves, cats, dogs…” She flips her hand around as she explains, “Most of our hybrids are males, but we have a few females if you would prefer them!”

You gape at her for several moments before you’re shaking your head, “No, no. The police brought in two hybrids last week, I think? Namjoon is a dog hybrid and Jimin is a cat hybrid. If I had known they were here sooner, I wouldn’t have let them stay so long…” You inch the folder towards her, “I have their papers right here.”

The woman tugs the folder from your grasp and flips it open, eyes scanning the documents within for a few moments before she glances up at you, “I know these two,” She offers you a look of sympathy, “They’ve had several interested parties, and they’re currently being visited by one of those parties now.”

“You can’t adopt them out, I have their papers and they belong to my sister-,” You choked on the words, clearing your throat, “I mean...I...they’re...they’re in my care now, and I have papers to prove it,” You gesture at the folder the woman still has clutched in her hands.

“We give owners 72 hours to claim their hybrids before we make them available for adoption, Miss,” She offers the folder back towards you, “If you leave your name and number, we can contact you if their adoption doesn’t go through..?”

You felt sick as soon as the words passed her lips. You couldn’t leave without Namjoon and Jimin. You didn’t know the first thing about taking care of hybrids, but you couldn’t let your sister down. She had trusted you with them. Not doing everything in your power to make things right didn’t settle well with you. You wouldn’t give up that easily.

Squaring your shoulders, you offered the secretary a beaming smile, “Actually, can I be shown some hybrids? I’m not sure what I’m looking for,” You grit the words out as sweetly and innocently as you can to the woman, who has her eyebrows raised slightly at your sudden shift in demeanor.

She must not dwell on it too long because she straightens after a moment with a smile, “Of course! Let me call Jackson and get you set up for a look around.”

You hoped you could lay eyes on Namjoon and Jimin during your tour. You wanted to make sure they were alright and that they were actually here. You didn’t want to disrespect your late sister’s wishes, but you knew that such matters could already be out of your hands. If worse came to worse, you suppose you could call your sister’s lawyer and get his help with this mess.

-----------------------

“Amanda said you weren’t sure what you wanted, is that right? We usually recommend a breed of dog or cat hybrids for first time owners….you are a first time owner, right? I’m assuming you’re not interested in our more exotic hybrids? We recommend more domestic hybrids to first timers.”

Jackson, it turned out, was a very happy and excitable person. He’d been rather enthusiastic ever since he’d come barreling through the doorway five minutes prior, a wide (and rather blinding) smile plastered on the tall brunette’s face. You’d been startled enough at his entrance to not put much effort into fighting him off when he’d rounded the desk and hugged you. You had tensed up immediately at the contact, eyes wide at how little he respected personal space. The hug, thankfully, was quick and brief before he’d offered out his hand to shake. You’d stared at his outstretched hand for several moments, perplexed that he hadn’t offered his hand in the first place. You would have preferred that.

You followed him through the door he had emerged from behind the secretary (Amanda apparently), folder tucked safely away (mostly) in your purse. “Yeah, first time owner,” You answered him, looking back and forth at the various doors that lined the brightly lit hallway. All the doors were shut, but a window in the doors offered you glimpses into the rooms beyond; the beds, desks, toys, and personal items you’d seen indicated they were the hybrid’s rooms.

“Most of them are out in the social area right now.” Jackson gestures to the door that you’ve both approached as he turns the handle and pushes it open, urging you through into the room, “I can introduce you to a few if you like?” 

You had been expecting to enter a room that was entirely too small and lackluster to be the social area for hybrids. You’d seen the pictures before of poor environments of shelters and adoption centers, little to no care for the enrichment of the hybrids that stayed there. You were, for lack of a better word, quite speechless at the room you stepped into.

The room was huge and brightly lit, walls painted an off white. It was filled with several tables, beanbags, and benches throughout, along with several enrichment items (including platforms that resembled trees) and toys. Hybrids of all kinds dotted around the room, most playing, sitting, or lounging around. You caught sight of several cats perched in the tree platforms. At the sound of you and Jackson entering, a few hybrids glance your way curiously before resuming what they had been doing prior. 

The surprise that filters over your face as you take it in causes the man beside you to laugh, “A lot of people have walked through that door with that same look on their face. Impressive, yes?”

“Very.” You agree, “I’ve heard so many horror stories over the years about how some shelters look and treat the hybrids there. It’s...nice to see something like this.” You continue honestly, catching the slight bob of his head in agreement with you.

Over the years, you had heard countless stories on hybrid shelters: poor living environments, sick and ill hybrids, very little enrichment tools afforded to the hybrids housed there. A poorly cared for and neglected hybrid without the proper tools to keep them happy often lead to hybrids falling ill, and some cases, even brought about their death. Unhappiness really could drag them down. Of course, hybrid shelters weren’t the only ones with a bad rap: the horror stories coming out of breeding centers were even worse.

“We try to keep the hybrids in our care as stress free as we can.” Jackson urges you further into the room, earning a few more curious looks from the hybrids in the social area. “Of course, it comes with challenges, especially when hybrids are brought back.” He sighs softly at the admission, “We are strict with the hybrids that have been returned more than three times, adopting them is much more rigorous than a hybrids that’s never been adopted or only returned once. We’re rigorous regardless, but you can never be too sure…”

You’re half listening to him as you look around, desperately trying to catch sight of Namjoon and Jimin, but your shoulders slump when you don’t find them. You’re disappointed, even if the shelter did appear to be great keeping hybrids happy. You glanced sideways at Jackson, wondering if you should ask about the two hybrids and let him know that they were, legally, yours. Then again, what if they were adopted by someone nice, who was much more qualified to take care of the two rather than you? What had your sister been thinking?

Apparently she hadn’t been thinking at all.

Turning slightly to face Jackson, you opened your mouth to question him about the two hybrids when a commotion from the doorway opposite the one you’d entered caught both of your attention. There’s a muffled commotion behind the door for several seconds before it’s hastily shoved open by a short, brunette woman who looks rather stressed before her eyes land on Jackson. She immediately seems relieved, mostly.

“Jackson! Thank god, can you spare a few minutes to help?” She glances behind her down the hallway, a shriek echoing behind her before she’s jerking her head back to Jackson. All the hybrids around you are tense and looking towards the woman and the commotion behind her. “Jimin is very upset, he-,”

At the mention of Jimin, you’re immediately perking up, tilting your head as you attempt to figure out what exactly is going on behind her. She could easily be talking about another Jimin, but your gut is quite certain she’s talking about the Jimin you know. A hand pats your shoulder, muffled words reaching your ears before you take note of Jackson hurriedly moving towards the woman. He moves quickly, but it's more of a fast walk, no doubt to avoid stressing or startling the hybrids in the room more than they are now.

“I don’t want to! I can’t! You can’t!” Your eyes grow wide at the familiar voice of the cat hybrid that you’d known for the two years that your sister had owned him. Why was he so stressed out? What was going on? Unable to stop yourself, you followed after Jackson, trying to keep your strides even, barely able to catch the door he and the woman disappeared behind before it could close behind them.

You knew that you probably weren’t permitted back here with permission or an escort, but damn the consequences. You had a soft heart and you had never heard the panic and fear in Jimin’s voice like that before. Surely they weren’t hurting him.

Slipping through the door, you let it close behind you as you stopped to survey the scene further down the hallway. In addition to Jackson and the woman, four others were present, including a young woman standing near the wall directly across from three males. One of the men was obviously staff, if the uniform similar to Jackson and the woman’s was any indication. He was halfway between the woman and the other two males, hands raised slightly in surrender as he murmured softly to the males. You couldn’t make out what he was saying to them and instead focused on the two hybrids.

You instantly recognized the two hybrids: Jimin and Namjoon. The black haired cat hybrid was practically wrapped around the back of the tall, brown-haired dog hybrid. You couldn’t even see Jimin’s dark ears, no doubt laid flat enough to blend in with his hair, and his fluffy dark tail was flicking back and forth in clear agitation with the situation. The male he was clinging to was just as tense, his larger ears straight and rigid. He had one hand gripping hold of the cat’s arms around his neck.

“Jaebum, what’s going on?” Jackson asks the question you’re trying to piece together, catching the attention of the four standing further down the hallway as he approaches.

Jaebum, the staff member standing between the two parties, looks away from the two hybrids towards Jackson as he lowers his hands and gently gestures in the direction of the woman against the wall, “Miss Yeri had an appointment to meet Namjoon and Jimin today. Everything was fine until she expressed that she only wanted to adopt Jimin,” He gestures towards Jimin now, who vehemently shakes his head, “I told her that I would have to check with you before we made a decision and Jimin just freaked out.”

“You can’t separate us, please,” Jimin whines, tightening his arms around Namjoon’s neck in the process. Namjoon grunts at the tighter hold that the Birman cat hybrid grips him with, sliding his attention towards Jackson as he nears.

“No one is going to separate you two,” Jackson soothes as he nears the two hybrids, apparently ignoring the young woman by the wall at her soft noise of protest. “I promise, Jimin, we don’t do that here, okay?” He stops advancing towards the two when Namjoon shifts slightly in place, nostrils flaring as he leans forwards slightly towards Jackson, sniffing at him. Jimin makes a soft noise by his ear at the action, but follows the dog hybrid in also sniffing.

It takes only seconds for a pair of blue eyes and brown eyes to meet yours. You can’t help the small and nervous smile you offer, hand raising nervously with a wave. The last time you’d seen the two hybrids had been at least three weeks ago. You gulp as the humans turn to see what’s caught the two males’ attention.

“Y/N-,” Jackson starts, but his voice is drowned out by the cat hybrid.

“Y/N-ah!” The lithe cat hybrid detaches himself from Namjoon, easily darting past Jackson and the short woman before they can stop him. He quickly closed the distance, practically bowling you over when he reaches you and attaches himself to you.

“Jimin-,” You squeak at his tighter-than-necessary hold as he buries his face against the crook of your neck, stumbling slightly at his weight, eyes wide as you look over his shoulder at the audience down the hall. You reach up to loosely clasp your arms around the hybrid, feeling a little awkward at doing so. The humans are all wearing dumbfounded looks, not making any effort to stop Namjoon from slipping past them to follow Jimin to you. He doesn’t move hurriedly, but his longer strides cover the distance almost as quickly.

“I knew you’d come, I kept telling Joonie!” Jimin pulls back slightly to search your face, “You’re here for us, right?” He doesn’t hesitate to bury his face against your shoulder, the ears atop his head no longer flattened like they’d been before. Noises of contentment rumble from his chest as his cheek rubs against your shoulder.

“Yes, I planned on it,” You tell him truthfully, glancing over at Namjoon as the German Shepherd pauses beside you both, “But I’m not sure how easy that’s going to be.” If there was already a claim on them, you weren’t sure how things would proceed if you tried to fight it. You were certain you had a good case, but according to Amanda, the ownership rights to the two were no longer in your hands.

You had doubted whether or not the two would want to even go home with you, despite your sister’s wishes. You’d visited them enough over the years for them to be familiar with you, but you had never really been subjected to such affection, especially from Jimin. The dark-haired male with his brilliant blue eyes was a sweetheart, but his affection had mostly been reserved for your sister and Namjoon. To be smothered against the cat right now was quite shocking. Was he really happy to see you because of you, or because you were the last connection he had to your sister?

Your eyes desperately searched for Namjoon, silently begging the dog hybrid to help you. Namjoon’s lips twitched slightly at your expression before he reached out to slip an arm around Jimin and peel the male away from you, much to the male’s protesting whines at Namjoon. Just when you thought you were free from suffocating from affection, something soft wrapped around your wrist and tugged. Unprepared for the tugging, you stumbled sideways slightly, bumping into the two hybrids.

You chose to ignore the cheshire-like grin on Jimin’s face as the three staff members approached, followed hesitantly by the young woman, Yeri. She didn’t look too happy, if the stormy look on her face that she sent you was anything to go by.

“I’m sorry, Y/N,” Jackson apologized immediately as he approached, eyebrows raised as he took note of Jimin’s tail wrapped around your wrist and your close proximity to the two; you could barely feel the brush of Namjoon’s chest at your back. “Jimin isn’t normally like this. He usually prefers to keep his affections to Namjoon,” Jackson indicated the German Shepherd behind you.

“It’s fine,” You assure him softly, meeting Jimin’s stare before quickly focusing back on Jackson, “Actually, I’m interested in Jimin and Namjoon,” It’s another nervous smile from you, a little uneasy with all the attention focused solely on you. Jimin’s tail tightens slightly on your wrist and you can feel Namjoon’s chest crowd slightly closer to your back. Obviously they can smell your distress with the situation. You do your best to relax and shove aside your nerves.

“What?” Jackson seems taken aback, “Are you sure? You’re a first time owner and handling two hybrids is a lot of work. You hadn’t had time to look at the other hybrids..”

“Yes, I’m sure. Actually, I have their paperwork right here with me.” You reach with your free hand to pull the folder with their papers from your purse and offer it towards Jackson, “Jimin and Namjoon belonged to my sister. She signed them over to me in the event of her death in her Will. I would have gotten them sooner, but the lawyer’s office didn’t contact me until recently.” You explained as quickly as you could as Jackson flipped open the folder to look over the papers within, “Your secretary, Amanda, told me that owners only have 72 hours to claim their hybrids when their brought to the shelter, but I wasn’t informed that I was their owner until literally an hour ago.”

Jackson hummed and nodded along as he listened, “The proper paperwork is here, but...we’ll have to discuss it with the Director and see how we proceed with this from here. The two have had several interested in them, including Miss Yeri.”

The mentioned woman straightens, “She can have the dog,” She says stiffly, sliding her attention from you to Jimin, who refuses to acknowledge her, head tucked under Namjoon’s chin, his ears camouflaged in his hair once more. “I’m only interested in the cat.”

You furrow your eyebrows at her balant disinterest in Namjoon, appalled that she thought she could separate the two. They’d been together since before your sister had adopted them, at least that’s what she told you, and despite the fact that cats and dogs were notorious for not getting along, the two surprisingly had very few spats. Jimin’s display of distress at the thought of being separated from Namjoon hadn’t seemed to make the woman change her mind; how many people had been interested in them, only to want one of them? Had Jimin or Namjoon been thrown into distress more than once since they’d been here?

Had your sister been here, you had no doubt she would be threatening to throw hands with Yeri. The mental image almost made you crack a smile. You, on the other hand, bit your tongue and said nothing. At least, for now. Where your sister was quick to anger, you had a much cooler head on your shoulders.

“Like I said before Miss Yeri, we don’t separate hybrids that are bonded.” Jackson repeats, not even looking towards the woman he’s speaking to, “Doing so causes untold stress on the hybrids and diminishes their quality of life.” He closes the folder and looks at you expectantly, “Let’s go to the director and get this sorted out, yeah? This is a bit too complicated for me to deal with.” He offers a smile before turning his attention to the two hybrids, “Namjoon, Jimin. Please let Jaebum return you to your room?”

“But-,” Jimin starts to protest, reaching out to loop through yours and tug you closer. You reach over to brush your fingers over his arm in an attempt to comfort him, frowning as he trembled against Namjoon.

“Jiminie,” Namjoon’s voice was low and soothing as he speaks for the first time since you’d come across the commotion, “It’s alright,” You glanced upwards to look at him, watching curiously as he rubbed his chin against the top of Jimin’s head, the cat still tucked against him. Namjoon reached out to gently disentangle Jimin’s arm from yours and carefully unwound the younger’s tail from your wrist. “C’mon, let’s go take a nap, okay?” Jimin whined at the loss of contact, but he slowly nodded, wrapping his arms and tail around Namjoon.

Jaebum took a step towards the two, but immediately froze at the rumbling growl from Namjoon. You didn’t have the heart to blame Namjoon; Jaebum hadn’t helped the situation earlier.

Namjoon gently pulled Jimin away from you, his tail brushing you as he passed, murmuring softly to the smaller male tucked against him as they moved slowly down the hallway, Jaebum cautiously following behind.

You watched them quietly before Jackson clearing his throat brought your attention to the three humans still standing in the hallway with you.

“Shall we?” Jackson asked, gesturing towards the door behind you that lead back to the social area. You nod slowly, stepping aside to let Jackson lead the way.

“I’m coming with as well,” You turn to look at Yeri with furrowed eyebrows as she immediately stomps past you to follow after Jackson. She’d been repeatedly denied her request, but apparently she was far from giving up. You had a feeling that she was more than willing to play dirty to get what she wanted.

Surely if what Jackson said was true, this Director would shut down her request to separate Namjoon and Jimin and send her on her way. You didn’t particularly feel comfortable with even the slightest possibility of Jimin going home with her. Perhaps she would be a better owner than she appeared to be, but could you really let Jimin go home with her if it came down to it?

No, you decided. Your sister would haunt your ass. Scratch that, she would become corporeal and kick your ass.

Straightening, you sent one last look down the hallway before turning and following after Jackson and Yeri.

--------------

You were ready to throw hands at Yeri fifteen minutes into the meeting with the Director.

Calm thoughts. Margaritas on the beach. Warm towels fresh out of the dryer. That carton of Rocky Road ice cream waiting for you at home. 

“Suri will just love him, Jimin can bond with her.”

God, she was still talking. You closed your eyes, chin propped on your hand as you sighed deeply for the fifth time in the past ten minutes. After your first dramatic sigh, Yeri had taken to promptly ignoring you, focusing solely on the woman sitting behind the desk in front of you both. 

Mrs. Choi, the Director, didn’t seem quite impressed with Yeri either, but she had yet to tell the woman to shut up and leave. She remained quiet, aside from the initial introductions and a soft, “Our policy states that we don’t separate bonded hybrids” directed at Yeri once the woman had started in.

Of course, Yeri was either too stubborn or too daft to even care. She started to talk about her other hybrid, a ragdoll named Suri, and how well taken care of and loved Jimin would be once she adopted him. She had everything ready for a new hybrid and you had sworn her eyes got all teary-eyed when she explained how taken she was with Jimin at first sight.

You wanted to punch her. She kept going and going and going, and even now, she hadn’t taken the hint to close her mouth. 

“I’ve owned Suri for five years and she’s been my only ever since. Jimin would be so perfect for her and gosh, the cute little kittens they’d-,”

Jerking upwards in the chair, you slammed your hand on the arm rest, startling the woman beside you enough to actually make her look over at you in shock.

Satisfied you had her attention now, you fixed her with a glare, “You are not separating Jimin from Namjoon. You saw how distressed he was at the mere thought of it, but apparently you don’t care. Are you really that heartless?”

Your sister would be so proud right now. “My sister adopted them together and that’s how they’re going to stay.”

Yeri stared at you, mouth agape for almost a minute before she seemed to get over her shock on your outburst, “Well, where’s your sister? If she cared about them so much, why are they here in the first place?”

“Because she’s dead. Murdered.” You’re surprised you keep your voice steady, although you can feel the fresh burn of tears in your eyes. Tilting your chin up slightly, you force yourself not to let the tears fall, “You’re not separating them. I won’t let you or anyone else. They’ve had enough grief since losing my sister, and I sure as hell am not going to subject them to more.”

“Ms. Chae,” Mrs. Choi’s soft voice filters into the silence that falls over the room and Yeri slowly turns to look at her, “The two hybrids in question will not be separated. Either you are willing to adopt them together or not at all. That is final.”

Yeri opens her mouth and closes it several times before she huffs and abruptly stands before stomping dramatically from the room, slamming the door closed behind her.

Good riddance.

“Ms. L/N,” Turning sharply back to the woman behind the desk, you straighten in place, “There has been another party that has shown interested in both Namjoon and Jimin. They have filled out the necessary paperwork this morning to begin the adoption proceedings for the two.”

You deflate almost instantly at her words, sitting heavily back against the backrest of the chair. That was it then? You had been too late by mere hours. “I...I see.”

“However,” Mrs. Choi continued, and you glanced up at her curiously, “Since this is..a unique situation, along with the fact that you know the two hybrids in question, we’ve decided to make an exception.”

“Really!?” You perch at the edge of the chair at the prospect.

“If you fill out the adoption paperwork today, we would like for you to come back tomorrow for an interview.” She smiled ever so slightly, “In cases where more than one party is interested in a hybrid, we conduct an interview with the parties and then have them to meet with the hybrid in question and see how they interact.” Mrs. Choi paused to gauge your reaction before she continued, “Ultimately, the decision is up to the hybrid, but the interview and paperwork does help us weed out the...less-than-desirable applicants. Is that alright with you?” She prompts gently, leaning forward in her chair.

 You’re nodding almost immediately in answer, “That...that would be great!” Were you really doing this? There wasn’t even a guarantee that it would work out in your favor.

“Where can I fill out the paperwork?”

TAGLIST: N/A

[ Want to be tagged when I release new chapters? Send me an ask or message and include what fics you would like to be tagged in! ]

#bts x reader #bts imagine #bts fan fic #bangtan sonyeondan #ot7 x reader #poly!bts x reader #hybrid!bts x reader #hybrid bts #*mine #my writing #twisted tails fic #i'm not crying over jimin's distress #it's just a twig in my eye #*DEEP BREATH* nervous as HECK

[sor-vette]

Chapter Five | Monsters

At the turn of a new leaf, you find yourself dancing along the knife’s edge. To keep yourself from falling over, you must ask three questions: what do they have, what do they hold dear and how far will they go to make you stay with them?

▶ wc: 2.5k

▶ warnings: illness, violence against women, possessive behaviour

▶ this series’ masterlist

▶ other works

It's not simply hot. It is the very scorch of hell. Vaguely, around you, there are voices. Truly beautiful voices.

"Like angels," you think, delirious. But they cause you pain. And you whimper again. These beings keep touching you, and it hurts so true and raw, as though they were melting coals into your skin.

"Jungkook, I said keep away from her," snarls a stern voice, but in a way, it's gentle and deep, like a running river or a sprawling forest. You only wish it'd bring some relief to your overheated body.

"But, I just - just wanted to put a compress," the second voice cries. It's gentle and full of youth.

"Baby, you're just causing her more pain. Let go."

If you thought the first one was deep... This was one for oceans, dark alleys and drying paint filled with grief. The second voice begins to weep harder and the being leaves, slamming the door behind.

"Stupid," another voice whispers. You can't help but scream - it's brimstone to your hellfire. The raspy cadence gnaws at your bones and its owner tugs itself deeper into the corner.

These beings keep feeding you something. It never stays down. You just want them to stop, but a small part of you still feels grateful for the company.

They sat in frozen silence broken only briefly by Jungkook's cries. A scream tore through the closed doors. Taehyung tried to breathe. Then he began to cry too. His breath came up in choked up sobs and he thought there must not be any oxygen left on Earth. Gasp as he might there was nothing.

"She'll be fine, Joon will fix this, she'll be fine," Jin muttered, hugging both Taehyung's and Jungkook's shoulders, but he's interrupted by another drawn-out wail, along with desperate pleas to make the pain stop. Jin's hands shook as he tried to say something, anything, but he couldn’t find the strength to fulfil the role of comfort right now.

"I can't - I can't be here. I'm sorry, I can't bear this..." Yoongi spluttered, dashing off blindly. Jungkook’s fists bunched up into Jin’s sleeve as he watched Yoongi's distressed figure fleeing into nowhere with Jimin behind him. Hoseok sat completely still in the corner, not blinking, not moving, gazing at one spot in the wall - a face without expression. Body without soul. His soul was screaming and it was all his fault.

The evening was a blur. He'd been waiting for you at the door, cake in hand. And it was fine. He didn't know exactly why you smelled so foul, but it could be anything. People meddled in various sorts of affairs in this world, and you could have just innocently passed by some quack trying to connect to the afterlife or some other nonsense. And so he let it go, retiring to the kitchen. He had, in all honesty, meant to cut the cake, eat it with you and leave. But then that small, slimy thought reared its unsightly head.

Hoseok was no stranger to nightmares. Dreams of his family dying, dreams of decay, dreams of transformation. Visions of his life's grief and regret replayed underneath a peculiar lens. They were fleeting. He had learnt to deal with them already long ago. It was only that one nightmare that persisted year after year. The sight of them all dead, ripped apart, torn, gone. Gone. Even pondering about it for a second made his stomach plunge into an unknown depth. Sometimes he'd wake up and just let himself cling to whoever was the closest, reassuring himself breath after breath that they were here. They were all still here, together, and if they stayed that way, everything would be fine. Such was the essence of his hopeful existence.

And then they met you. And you were not there when he woke up. Sometimes he would sneak out to your apartment, just to sit in hiding and listen to the steady routine of your morning, hammering into his head that you were safe. As you had been the day before and as you will be the day after tomorrow. But the feeling never quite gave way. Had Jungkook not been dying when they met? Had Jimin not been sick? Anything could happen, anything. And as he was thinking then, his teeth found his finger and bit harshly on it. Mesmerized, he watched his own hand soak the white frosting with blood, changing them crimson. Hoseok had perhaps half a mind to register all that he was doing. However, he was convinced it wouldn't do any harm. He was just trying to protect you.

Which led them here. One minute you were okay. He'd kissed you, and you looked so delicate, treading on the verge of finally blossoming into the feelings that they all knew were firmly buried underneath. He had rested his lips onto your neck and after time well spent hungering and yearning, he thought how loved he would make you feel. How he would collapse into you and you would do the same, and everything would be fine, at last. However, that minute passed and you began convulsing on the floor.

Five days had passed since then. It was only when you began to vomit up shards of black jade alongside Angelica root that Namjoon gathered what was going on. Some aged, unusual protection potion was working its way through the bloodstream. Hence why the smell had hurt him. Perhaps it could be argued that whoever was behind this had meant well. Had meant to protect you from them, but as Hoseok unbeknownst to everyone mixed the potion with his blood, it ultimately created the opposite effect.

Now your body was at a crossroads - trying to repel something that was a part of it. The two substances had formed something akin to nuclear fallout in your system. They had already exhausted themselves in an attempt to reign in your fever. Unsuccessfully, mind you, as every touch, every linger, even something so small as the sound of their voice caused you measureless pain - the potion's fine work.

Namjoon softly closed the doors behind him, careful as to not make too much noise. He exchanged quick glances with Bo - Young, who nodded mutely and entered the room with a mountain of wet towels.

He could barely walk. He hadn't closed his eyes for a minute during these last five days. Namjoon took in the state of the room - the unfurling chaos. His precious books now laid haphazardly across various surfaces, open and torn of their contents - to no help. The antiquated cabinet in the corner of the room was in shreds - a remnant of Jimin's rage during the first day. Only four of them were present - Jin and Jungkook, the latter of which was continuously shaking, clinging to the eldest. Taehyung, who sat with a grave expression, hugging his knees and Hobi.

Namjoon's heart particularly stung seeing Hoseok. He was still in the same place where he sat down five days ago, eyes dead to the world.

"Is she - How?" Jin asked, voice breaking. It was clear he had been trying to control his tears.

"There's nothing else I can do."

Taehyung hid his face entirely, and Jin looked like he was personally thrust off a cliff edge. The worst had occurred. It was all now a game of chance - both toxins would naturally cancel each other out after a while, but at this point, you might not survive that sort of strain.

All it takes is one more seizure, and her heart will give out, Namjoon thought, breath catching in his throat. He was now faced with a question he never wanted to see or hear.

What would they do if you would just die?

"Yoongi, stop, it's no use!" Jimin called out, slightly panting. They were far away from the house now, running into the small hiking forest. When Jimin had finally caught up to Yoongi -

"He's never been fast like this," he muttered to himself.

- there was a sudden flash that swamped the forest in a bright orange glow. The tree was burning. An old oak that Jungkook was fond of climbing and Joon liked to collect acorns from. Yoongi's back was turned, his silhouette - a great, black shadow in front of a roaring flame. Even Jimin had to shudder at the sight. With a sigh, he outstretched his fingers and snapped. The fire died out, collapsing in on itself and rolling large waves of heat in the dark, starless night.

"There's enough wildfires as it is," Jimin said, voice barely above a whisper.

"What do you suggest we do?" asked Yoongi slowly, in a sharp hiss, every word spewed like poison.

"We should go back there. Be with her. This might be -" Jimin choked on his train of thought, and Yoongi turned, eyes narrowed. He was visibly shaking.

"Don't say it, you bastard! Don't even dare to say those words!"

Jimin flinched at his tone.

"Don't yell at him. He's not at fault," interrupted a faint voice on the other side of the oak.

"I - I left you at the house," Jimin mumbled in bewilderment. It was Jungkook, but he was wearing completely different clothes, and his face was considerably gaunter.

"And I am technically there, yes," he answered cryptically, leaning against the cindering tree.

"I told you to stop doing that! It freaks me out!"

"Did you go somewhere?" Yoongi asked, observing the youngest's appearance.

There was an air about him - of rage and chase and revenge, and Yoongi found himself savouring the taste.

"Well, who remembers Y/N's friend, sweet Jane?" His tone was utterly cold, mocking even.

Jimin thought back. Maybe he recalled a fleeting, fidgety figure that bumbled to them that Y/N was not here and she didn't know her whereabouts.

"Well, the last thing Y/N did that day was visiting that friend."

"You think her friend, this Jane, would poison Y/N? What for?"

"Ahh, dear Jane, had a falling out at work, and she apparently contacted some of her friends for work opportunities."

"Would you cut the theatrics?!" Yoongi barked. Either they ripped someone else, or he'd do it to himself, there was no way around it.

"And her friends just so happen to work in "Divine Emporium" chain. "Fortune-telling and Otherworldly advice," to be exact."

Ah, Jimin thought.

"Well, I spoke with the owner, and, in time, he was very willing to tell where this Jane lived," Jungkook examined his nails as he was talking. They were covered in dark patches along with the random splatter stains on his shirt.

"So, let's go!"

"I'm all for it," Yoongi hissed, pulling his jacket closer around. Jimin was the only one who lingered.

"Guys, this is stupid..."

"They hurt her, Jimin, do you understand? Our girl is now screaming because of some fucking lowlife bastards," Yoongi's words were flying out at such speed they verged on turning into nonsense.

"Are you just gonna stand there and let people kill her?"

Jimin shook his head solemnly. No, he would not.

"Jiminie, don't like it? Go back," Jungkook yelled over his shoulder, and after throwing a glare, Jimin traipsed along.

They kicked down the door with little ceremony. The waft was overpowering but ultimately useless. Yoongi snarled a short laugh; it had a cruel undertone. Incense blend to ward off evil. How cute.

The apartment was a mess, its contents - already thrown around in disorder before they got around to trashing it. The window was open, and through it came the sound of speedy footsteps.

"Hey, Jane, where are you running off to?" Jungkook called out tauntingly, leaning out the window. Yoongi felt himself blooming in a deranged smile. Jimin at the back continuously rolled his eyes but was just as quick to catch up.

Jane's laboured breaths echoed throughout the small side street. Her gait was uneven and stumbling as she cried whilst fleeing.

"Fucking pathetic," Yoongi growled.

They cornered her underneath a bridge pass. Dark and deserted. How very tragic for Jane. Jungkook was the first to catch up to her, at first tripping her to the ground then with no hesitation hurling her against the concrete pillar. There was a solid crack when her skull made an impact.

She only wept and wheezed fearfully. Yoongi caught her by the throat and pulled her face so close to his own that their noses touched. She stopped breathing altogether, and in her eyes, Yoongi saw the horrible reflection of his own demented expression. Maybe for a second, he felt awful, but all it took was a single memory of your tortured cries, begging for salvation, and all his would-be mercy disappeared. Yoongi squeezed his fingers tighter, half wondering if he could just pop her head off the shoulders. Probably.

"You pathetic worm, why are you wriggling? How dare you betray her? How dare you hurt her?!" He whispered. She clawed at his hands, legs dangling in the air.

"What do you think, Jimin? Skin her or tear her limbs off?" Jungkook pondered, in an exaggerated, grimly comical expression of a thinking gesture.

"I would not...I would never...hurt Y/N," Jane wheezed, desperately gasping for air.

"But you wanted to keep her from us," Jungkook hissed.

"Please...please...she's done nothing wrong... please whatever you want with her... she's done nothing to deserve it."

Suddenly, Yoongi's hands were twisted against his back, and Jane fell free. Jimin was looking down on her with an inscrutable expression. She once again mauled at her neck, letting out long frenzied cries.

"She is ours. Do you understand?" He asked with one disinterested arched eyebrow as if they were discussing whether doors were push or pull. Yoongi groaned and trashed around, but Jimin's hold was immovable.

"Tell everyone and all you know that from this day on - she is one of us." Jane crawled closer. Perhaps, in some lowly sign of gratitude for sparing her life, but Jimin kicked at her grasping hands.

"I'm not doing this for you," he scoffed. "I'm only doing this for Y/N. Your death would make her unhappy."

He tugged harshly at both Yoongi's and Jungkook's collars, dragging them away. In his mind, they were sparing the time in the entirely wrong place. Still, when they were a short distance away, he turned around. Jane was on her knees, swaying back and forth. Presumably traumatized out of her mind.

"And if the unimaginable occurs, and Y/N does not survive... Jane, I will not only not hold them back, I personally will make sure that every single one of your kind, everyone who gave you so much as a smile, will die knowing the taste of their family's intestines."

Their teeth are bared, and in the pale moonlight, the monsters look nothing more than bloodthirsty hounds cleaving at her skin.

"Jane," you scream, "Jane!"

You try to beg them to stop, for reasons unknown, you feel like these monsters would listen to you, but they don't. They mercilessly rip her apart, ignoring your pleas and barking harsh laughs underneath the dark dome.

"Won't you shut up? It's fine, everyone's fine," a voice next to your ear tiredly sighs. It's not like the voices before, and when you look at the figure, it doesn't glow like the sun. The figure bites you. On the shoulder, but against the backdrop of the ceaseless pain, it is little more than a bug bite.

"You have to get better. You can't die right now. We all will die with you," the voice whispers, biting you again.

previous ↔ next

Trivia:

- Angelica Root (also known as Holy Ghost Root or Archangel Root) is believed to be a potent guardian and healer, that also provides strength to women

- Black jade is considered an etheric defender and protection stone. It is known to attract potent energy guards for the body also for mind and heart

- In this story, Jin often feels useless among the rest of them, so he shoulders this role of always being the most comforting and the most assured of the group

- Jungkook has what you would call slight problems with managing anger. He switches into a red-hued tunnel vision if someone hurts his loved ones. Yoongi is the same.

Tag list:

@meowsimpson @singukieee @ilsan-seoul @ot7nem @littlrmills14-blog @themasterbob @ithtefani @mayla548

Bet you didn't see this coming :D Anyways, plot is plot and so we boldly advance forward in all its pain and suffering. Please, keep bouncing ideas about what could happen next, your impressions or just come yell at me. I appreciate everything.

Happy reading!

#ot7 x reader #bts x reader #bts poly au #bts x y/n #ot7 x you #bts soulmate au #namjoon x y/n #namjoon x reader #namjoon x you #jin x y/n #jin x you #jin x reader #yoongi x y/n #yoongi x you #yoongi x reader #hoseok x y/n #hoseok x you #hoseok x reader #jimin x reader #jimin x y/n #jimin x you #taehyung x reader #taehyung x you #taehyung x y/n #jungkook x reader #jungkook x you #jungkook x y/n #bts angst #bts x you

[sopebubbles]

❣seventeen: I'm with you

Bulletproof Heart

Here we have 6.5k of hurt/comfort. It's mostly comfort, the hurt is from the previous chapter. I hope you enjoy it! Don't forget to yell at me in the asks/comments.

Warnings: cw: parental neglect, allusions to self harm

It's a damn cold night// tryna figure out this life // won't you take me by the hand // take me somewhere new? [I'm with you by Avril Lavigne]

>>

They have a show tomorrow night. They have a show tomorrow--their second one--and Jungkook had broken a string and Jimin a drumstick during practice, so off to the music store they went, all four members of Bulletproof piled into Jin's small, old sedan. He made sure they all stocked up on new strings and drumsticks and even some extra drum heads for Jimin because the way that boy beats his drums can get a little violent when he gets really into it. Jin doesn't want anything to go wrong. Even though he’s doing his absolute best to act like this was all just fun and nothing bothered him for the sake of the younger guys, he’s worried about doing a good job in front of an audience. He'd felt okay after the first show a couple of weeks ago, knowing that the great thing about low expectations was that they were easy to meet. The boys hadn't done badly, and he was pleased with them, especially considering it was the first time for each of them to perform. Now the expectation would be at least that high and he hoped they would exceed it, so he'd been pushing them in practice all week. 

After the music store Jin drops Jimin off at home since he doesn't drive to school and only has access to his dad's car on weekends, when he usually goes on a bender and doesn't need it anyway. Right before getting to Jimin's house it starts to pour, and he has to make a run for it to the front door. He turns back to wave goodbye to them but they can barely see him through the sudden heavy rain. Jin pulls away and heads for their own neighborhood, the other two boys jamming almost violently to the Ramones' Blitzkrieg Bop at full volume. Jin drives carefully through the wet streets, fully conscious of his responsibility for the two boys in the car. Driving down one of the main roads, not long before the turn off to their neighborhood, Jin spots a hunched figure walking along the sidewalk. It's far past sunset and in the dark rain it's a surprise he spots them at all.

“It’s a girl,” Jungkook says as they get close. She’s not at all appropriately dressed for the weather, even if it wasn't raining. Jin slows to a stop beside her, causing her to turn toward the car instinctively, and Jungkook rolls down the passenger side window, exposing himself to the rain. The girl peers in at him and Jungkook looks back as the other two lean in to get a look at her. 

"Y/n?" Jungkook asks in confusion.

"Kookie?" she responds just as surprised, but her voice is heavy with exhaustion.

"Y/n what are you doing out here?" Jin wonders loudly against the pounding rain.

"Who cares why! Get in here!" Taehyung leans over to the other door on the side closer to her and pushes it open. "C’mon!" He yells at her. She hesitates for only half a second before climbing into Jimin's spot.

It's warm and inviting inside the car, the music's been turned down low and for a moment all of them look at her as she looks at each boy in turn. Despite the rain presenting an easy explanation for the state of her, they can clearly see the distress in her eyes, their redness and puffiness betraying the fact that she'd been crying, if not recently at least a lot earlier. The tension is broken when Jin clears his throat and turns forward once again to face the steering wheel.

"Let's get you home," he says calmly, reaching for the gear shift. 

"I don't want to go home." Jin can hear the sadness in her voice, and he nods his understanding, having anticipated that.

"I meant our home," he corrected. "Buckle up."

Y/n looks at Taehyung before turning in the other direction groping for the seat belt. Before she can grab it, Tae reaches an arm around her back and pulls her to the middle seat. Without a word he finds the center strap and wraps it around her waist, clicking it into a secure position, and then he's pulling her head against his shoulder, stroking her shivering arm with his hand. 

"I'm soaked through," Y/n mutters as a reason that he shouldn't be holding her so close. She turns her head to be able to look into his dark eyes that are already looking down at her. He shakes his head just slightly. 

"It doesn't matter." He wipes at her cheeks and her forehead to dry them with the sleeve of his hoodie. "You're freezing. You're gonna catch a cold."

"That's not how you catch a cold," she scoffs, but turns into his chest anyway and let's him wrap her in the open flap of his sweater, her own arms snaking around his body for extra warmth. Jin looks in the rear view mirror at the same time Jungkook looks over his shoulder, just in time to see Tae close his eyes and rest his head on top of Y/n's. The oldest boy’s not quite sure why he feels hot at the sight of it.  

The ride to the Kim house only lasts five minutes, but they're the most peaceful minutes she's had all week. It's quiet except for the beating of Tae's heart in her ear. The steadiness of him and the warmth he's surrounding her in is almost enough to make her fall asleep. But they arrive before she can. The rain has almost stopped but not quite, just enough that they don't have to run inside. 

"I'll see you guys tomorrow," Jungkook says softly after letting the car door fall closed.

"Night, Kook. Get some rest, yeah," Jin calls to him, just like a real older brother. 

"Kookie." Y/n reaches out a hand to grab his wrist as he passes, her voice little more than a whimper. 

"Don't worry, Y/n," he assures her, already knowing what she wants to ask--that he won't tell his parents--and he won't. His mom and hers have never gotten along, the very reason Namjoon and Y/n stay on their own instead of with them. She smiles weakly in appreciation before letting him go. Once he's gone, Y/n looks up to see Tae give her an inviting gesture, just a jerk of his head. 

Inside, under the bright overhead light of the living room, she can see the damage she's done, his shirt and sweatshirt darkened with water. 

"I got you all wet. I'm sorry." Her voice is still soft, meek, and Tae's almost shocked to see this side of her, even softer than the shy Y/n he met at the party. She hasn't said one sarcastic thing or made fun of him. He thinks of what Jungkook told him a week ago, about how sensitive she is, because even though he has no clue what could have brought this out in her, he can see she's wounded and vulnerable. 

Tae shrugs. "Gotta change for bed anyway." He turns to go to his bedroom, leaving her standing in the middle of the Kim household, directionless until Jin calls her name and waves her over to his bedroom door where he’s waiting for her. 

“You can change into these,” he tells her softly, handing her a pair of sweatpants and a long sleeve shirt he pulled from his drawers for her. Jin walks past her and leads her to the bathroom, located between his and Tae's rooms. He flips on the light and wishes it were cleaner, but it could be worse. "Towels in here. You can take a shower if you want."

"I'll just get dry and change, thanks." She glances up at him briefly with sad eyes, and he's struck by just how much he wants to see her smirk at him the way she usually does. After lingering just long enough for the silence to become awkward, Jin leaves her alone, closing the door softly behind him. 

Y/n begins to remove the wet clothes that cling to her frame. A thin zip up hoodie over a crop top and grey joggers. Her clothes are entirely inappropriate for Deagu in November, but she wasn't in her right mind when she left the house so many hours ago. It was a long time until she even felt the cold and by then she was far from home. She couldn't even say how far. She'd just walked, aimlessly in whatever direction the sidewalks would keep taking her. She'd walked by store fronts and restaurants, through parks and passed warehouses, all with her head down and her music playing loud until her Bluetooth headphones had died and then she just left them on her head because they still insulated her a bit, let her stay inside her mind, even if that was clearly the last place she needed to be. 

She couldn't be at home. Not that broken place, all the more broken when she was there alone. She hadn't slept all night, afraid to close her eyes and listen to her thoughts so instead she played with her beats until she couldn't see the screen anymore. Namjoon had opened her bedroom door in the morning to tell her it was time to go to school, and she waved a hand at him to suggest she would be leaving soon and to go on without her. She slept a couple hours when the exhaustion left her mind blank enough to fall asleep,  and then waking to all her painful thoughts, she forced herself out of the house.

Now she's tired all over again and all cried out. But at least here she feels an odd sense of safety. Why and how had the Kim brothers' home become a place of refuge for her? She isn't sure but she's thankful for it. When her clothes lay in a sopping pile on the floor she takes a towel from the cabinet Jin had indicated and pats herself dry, doing her best not to look into the mirror that only tells her lies her mind is all too willing to accept about flaws that don't exist. When her skin seems dry enough, she slips into the clothes Jin has given her and decides to take advantage of the hair dryer Tae had left plugged into the wall in his rush to leave that morning.

Jin changes in his own room and as he exits he's surprised to hear the sound of the hair dryer turn on, but he finds himself smiling, thinking how warm and comfortable she'll be when her hair's not all wet. He goes to Tae’s room to grab his wet clothes the younger boy left in a heap on the carpet before he goes to drop them in the washer along with his own. Tae is in the kitchen already, opening packages of ramyeon. He wishes they could offer her more, knowing for certain that she hasn't eaten since God-knows-when, but none of the three men who live in this house have found the time to go to the store the last few days, so he does the best he can. Seokjin busies himself with cleaning up around the kitchen and living room until he hears the hair dryer shut off. He waits a few more minutes for her to emerge before he begins to worry about her, eventually going to stand outside the door, hesitating to knock until he hears a sniff from within. 

“Y/n?” he asks, followed by a soft knock. Inside the small bathroom, she’s startled by the sudden sound, not realizing she’d gotten lost in her head again and that a few more tears had slipped from her eyes without her permission. “Y/n, are you okay?” he calls again and she tries to quickly wipe her face. “I can wash your clothes for you,” he offers. 

She opens the door slowly, avoiding his eyes. “You don’t have to do that,” she says to the floor. 

“It’s no problem. I’m washing mine and Taehyung’s clothes anyway.” 

He extends a hand to her, indicating that it’s not much of a request, or at least not something she needs to choose. Forcing her brain to restart out of her stupor she turns to pick up her wet clothes from the floor, using the towel she borrowed to wipe up the excess water. When she turns back to hand them over Jin manages to catch her eyes and the overwhelming sadness he finds there nearly knocks the breath out of him. He’s never seen a girl look so broken, and before he can think through his actions he’s dumping the items she’s given him onto the counter top and pulling her into his chest. A small sound of surprise comes out of her, muffled by his chest. He’s just about to pull away, thinking how he’s just invaded her personal space when her arms raise to weakly encircle his waist. 

“Two hugs in one day,” she mumbles into his chest, but he can still hear the surprise in her voice. "Must be a record."

A breathy laugh escapes Jin’s lips. “Yeah, we’re kind of a huggy family. Sorry.” He tries once again to pull away, but Y/n’s fingers wrap around the fabric of his shirt and her muscles tense, keeping his body against hers. 

She’s too embarrassed even to apologize for her clinginess. She is embarrassed though. She hates to admit how good it feels to be held like this, to feel the warmth of him. Because there’s a feeling she's so used to that she might not be conscious of it if not for the fact that just a little while ago she'd gotten a respite from it, even if for only a few minutes in the car. But it’s abated even now, holding onto Seokjin. It's a feeling that has her on edge almost all the time. It's like she lives behind an invisible barrier between her and the rest of the world, and the isolation has made her skin so sensitive that this small, friendly embrace has set her whole body on fire. She doesn't know if it's a physical feeling or one in her mind. What's the difference anyway? All her nerve endings experience a near-constant state of loneliness. She doesn't know what to call the feeling, but she knows that when Tae held her close in the car it went away. The same way it does when Hobi hugs her tight. The same way it’s gone right now. This simple embrace has momentarily cured her profound lonesomeness, and she doesn’t want to let it go. 

“Do you wanna stand here all night, or do you wanna go to the couch?” he asks simply.

“I’m sorry,” she mumbles, trying to talk her muscles into releasing the poor boy. Reluctantly, they obey and she takes a step back.

“I just meant, do you want to stand here hugging or do you want to go cuddle on the couch?”

Y/n blinks at him, unsure if she could have possibly heard correctly. The word cuddle disturbs her, makes her feel small, like a child, and she hates it. But then again it sounds so nice. She’s already feeling numb, wishing she hadn’t let go of him so quickly, but it’s too late. 

“I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.”

He shakes his head at her. “I wouldn’t have offered it if it made me uncomfortable.”

“But the other night you wouldn’t even share the bed with me.” She can only stare at him in confusion. 

“That was...different...we won’t be sleeping, and we won’t be in my bed. This is just...comfort.” The word seems strange to her. “If you need it, I don’t mind at all.” He grabs the pile of clothes he’d left on the counter. “I’ll take care of this,” he says and leaves quickly. 

Y/n wanders over to the couch and sits, still feeling too tired to think about anything as simple as turning on the TV or looking at her phone screen that’s lighting up on the coffee table. It’s become more of a habitual accessory than a communication device at this point. 

Seokjin takes her clothes to the washing machine and starts it up before going to sit at the other end of the couch from her, turning off the harsh overhead light and turning on the tv on his way. He doesn’t want to crowd her or make her feel like she’s pressured to accept anything, so he just sits quietly, flipping through channels. 

"Any suggestions?" he asks, not finding much.

"I don't care," she replies casually. She takes a curious look around the room, noticing that the side of the house from which she's only ever heard a man's snoring, is dark and quiet. "Where's your dad?"

"Night shift tonight," Jin responds without taking his eyes off the screen. 

"Hard to believe I've been here three nights and I've never seen him."

The ceaseless button clicking of Jin’s thumb stops. "He works a lot. Two jobs, at a factory and a few nights a week doing security. I don't see him a lot either." The clicking resumes.

"Sorry. My mom works a lot, too." Her voice trails off at the end until it's almost inaudible, which she's thankful for because she can hear the shake in it. He turns his face to her as she wraps her arms around herself, her body shaking slightly. Jin bites the inside of his cheek, wishing he had a magic fix to help her. He doesn’t want to invade her privacy and ask her what’s wrong and he doesn’t want to trespass her boundaries and force her to accept his affection, but damn he just knows she’d feel better if he held her, even just for a minute. This is standard therapy in their household, nothing a good hug can’t fix. When he was young and something upset him, his mother would take him into her arms and hold him tight, humming a quiet song in his ear, and it wouldn’t take long for him to feel better. Without wasting another moment in thought, Jin sucks in a deep breath and releases it quickly before he wraps his hand around her bicep and drags her with him as he flops back onto the cushions. He tucks her in between his body and the back of the couch where she's safe and warm, struggling a little while he gets his arms around her. 

“If you don’t like this, just say so, and we’ll stop,” he tells her in a hushed tone. Her heartbeat settles, calms alongside his. She both hates and loves how well and how quickly it's affecting her. “I just thought maybe you wouldn’t want to ask.” 

"This is so embarrassing," Y/n mumbles into his chest, but she can't deny the way her body is already relaxing into the cushions and into him.

"There's nothing embarrassing about cuddling. It's good for you." He tucks her head in under his chin.

"I guess I just don't have a very affectionate family," she admits to herself, and she's almost too comfortable where she is now for that to hurt her. "Hobi cuddles with me sometimes, but it feels more like an attack." She hears him chuckle softly. "He can be a very clingy baby."

When Jin hums in response she can feel it in his chest, against her face. "Is this okay?"

"It's nice," she admits softly, though she knows 'nice' is a pale word to describe the relief she is feeling. 

"You're welcome to get cuddles here anytime. I don't mind at all." He squeezes her a little tighter in his arms and lets out a happy sigh.  

By the time Tae enters the living room carrying a tray with three large bowls of ramyeon, Y/n's breathing has gotten slow and heavy, and if she isn't already asleep Jin can feel that she will be at any moment. At the sound of his brother stopping behind the couch to take in the sight, Jin opens his eyes to give him a look full of warning, threatening what he'll do to the younger boy if he wakes up the girl in his arms. Tae doesn't know exactly how to respond, so he just shakes his head and continues his journey around the couch to set the tray on the coffee table, sighing in disappointment at the bowls of noodles that are going to go cold. 

"You can watch whatever," Jin whispers, a rare concession from one brother to another who loves to fight for dominance of the TV.

As Tae folds himself down onto the floor, Y/n’s phone catches the attention of both boys when it makes a quiet vibrating sound. Jin reaches behind him to grab it, knowing that, whatever Y/n may be going through, there are people who are probably worried about her. The text messages coming in and the missed calls are from the same man that's filling her lock screen, “MY hope💖”. He takes a chance and is utterly surprised to find she had no passcode. He opens the messages and reads only the ones that have come in most recently. 

By the time Hoseok arrives Tae has finished eating and is moving the clothes from the washer to the dryer. Jin has rolled onto his back to be able to stare at the TV, but Y/n is tucked into his side still and this is as far as he's willing to go, no matter how hungry he is. Just as Tae comes back to the living room there's a quiet but firm knock on the door. 

The street behind Hoseok is still wet, shining under the street lights, but the rain has stopped now. Tae’s surprised by the delicious smell that surrounds the other boy. He can't stop his hungry eyes from flickering down to the brown bag in Hobi's hands. He looks down at the bag too and then back to Tae’s eyes. 

"I figured she- you'd all be hungry." He extends the bag to Tae, who steps aside to let him in. He doesn't mind the hungry look in Tae’s eye. He can eat it all. Hobi can get more, and he's earned it for saving Y/n anyway. 

"She's on the couch," Tae tells him, as if there's anywhere else for him to go when he enters other than the living room. Tae’s trying not to get lost in the heady smell of Hobi's family's dumplings that fills his nostrils. 

Hoseok enters the living room and stops short, shocked to see Y/n sleeping in the arms of Kim Seokjin. He'd never seen her act that way with anyone else, and only reluctantly with him. She and Namjoon barely ever even hugged. Hoseok was the only person that she was ever affectionate with, and it had taken a long time and the force of his personality to gain that kind of trust and intimacy with her. Yet here she is with her head on Kim Seokjin’s shoulder, her legs entwined with his, his t-shirt balled up in her fist while she sleeps. Something indescribable bubbles in his stomach--something he knows he’s felt before but has never been able to name--but he doesn't waste anymore time standing and staring at them. 

Hoseok walks behind the couch and leans over the back while Jin eyes him curiously,  their eyes meeting briefly. He knows Hoseok is her closest friend in the whole world, but to Jin he's just a stranger. Hobi hesitates to wake her, but peaceful as she looks curled into the other boy’s side, he needs to make sure she's okay. He needs to talk to her. Gently, he shakes her shoulder and calls her name. She lets out an adorable moan as she begins to stir that brings a smile to both Jin and Hoseok's faces. Slowly, Y/n opens her eyes to see her best friend's face hovering above her. 

"Hobi!" Her voice is still thick with sleep but there's an undeniable joy there as she lifts herself up to wrap her arms around his neck, not noticing the way she almost hits Jin.

"Hey, babygirl," Hobi chuckles in her ear, pleased with her automatic response to him. He lets her cling to him for as long as she wants. 

"Jin," Tae hisses to his older brother, who’s taking in the scene with wide eyes, motioning with his hand toward the kitchen. A little reluctantly, the eldest slides off the couch and joins his brother.

Once they're gone, Y/n releases Hobi from her hold so that he can come around and sit in front of her. The first thing he does when they're sitting face-to-face, their knees touching, is to grab her by the forearms and place her hands on his face. She's not fooled by his attempts to mask his actions, but she takes his face in her hands and rubs her thumbs over his high cheekbones anyway. Not noticing any discomfort when he holds her wrists, he releases her with a sigh, letting go of a breath that's been trapped in his lungs for hours. That done, he grabs Y/n by the waist and pulls her almost into his lap so that he can wrap his arms around her in a proper hug. 

"I love you," are the first words out of his mouth, muffled by the way he's burying his head in her neck.

"I love you, too," she responds, but he pulls away shaking his head and takes her face in his hands.

"No. I need you to hear me. I love you. Full stop. Whether you love me or not. If you're mad at me or I'm mad at you or we don't talk for weeks or months or years. You're important, and I love you, and I need you to exist, okay? You can't disappear." His eyes glaze over with unshed tears as they stare into hers, searching, begging for understanding from her. She nods and when he releases her face she leans forward to rest her chin on his shoulder. 

"I'm sorry." He wraps his arms tightly around her back. 

"Don't apologize. Don't even think about it. You're allowed to be hurt and upset. You just have to let me be here to help you," he murmurs in her ear and smiles when he feels her nodding again. 

"Promise we won't ever not be talking."

He can't help a small chuckle. "I promise."

"I should go home and take care of Namjoon," she tells him as she pulls away. Hobi's disappointed in her impulse to push her feelings aside for her brother, but not in the decision to go home and he agrees.

"Wait. You guys should stay and eat at least." Taehyung comes surging into the living room carrying bowls and extra sets of chopsticks. Y/n glances between the two boys. 

"It does smell good. But-"

Hoseok cuts her off. "I have more in the car for Namjoon. We can stay for a little bit." She smiles and turns back to Tae to help him set up the food on the coffee table while Hobi pulls out his phone to text her brother. It's good that he has time to give a warning to Namjoon, who's been sitting at home with Yoongi. The last thing Hobi wants tonight is to have to referee between the two of them.

The twenty minutes they spend eating with the Kim brothers is filled with laughter. Y/n does her best to pull off her snarky attitude as she relentlessly clowns on Tae. And even though he knows she's forcing it, even though she doesn't have to, he feels happy receiving her abuse because it has always made him laugh. It seems right. Hobi enjoys watching her interact with her new friends, appreciates the kindness they show her through their actions and their words. It doesn't escape his notice the way Jin puts extra food in her bowl or the way he constantly examines her face for signs of distress. Overall it's a much more amiable environment than the two of them are used to. 

"Sorry for being a burden, and for keeping you up so late," Y/n says as she's sliding into her shoes that are still wet. Hoseok's eyes flicker over her face, knowing burden is a word she uses very specifically, a word that for her involves a lot of fear and insecurity, but he doesn't say anything.

"You're not a burden, Y/n!" Taehyung assures her with his characteristic enthusiasm. 

"You're welcome here anytime, Y/n." Jin gives her a fond smile before he adds, "I'll bring you your clothes tomorrow. You can give mine back whenever." Hoseok's eyes drift over her to notice her clothes for the first time, but again he says nothing. 

"Okay. Thanks. And good luck with your show tomorrow night."

"Don't say that like you're not going to sit with us at lunch tomorrow. You too, Hoseok!" Tae's invitation is so genuine there's no hope of the boy refusing. Whatever confusion Hobi has about the nature of his relationship with Y/n, he likes Tae's energy.

"Sure," Hobi agrees with a wave and guides Y/n to the door with a hand on the small of her back.

The ride to her house is quiet without a word spoken between them. Hobi parks in the driveway, and Y/n is out of the car before he can cut the engine. She walks quickly to the door and pushes it open, finding Namjoon pacing slowly in the living room, but he stops and turns to look up at her. She can't explain the urge to do it--she and Namjoon have barely spoken to each other in two weeks, hardly seen each other face to face--but as soon as she sees him she propels herself forward directly into his chest, wrapping her arms tightly around his body. Her brother is stunned, unsure at first how to respond, not just because she's been so distant from him recently but also because he can't remember the last time they hugged each other. When finally he raises his own arms to hold her, he realizes it must have been a long time, maybe years because he's definitely taller now. The look of shock on Hoseok's face when he comes through the open door perfectly reflects Namjoon's feelings. Yet as unprepared as he was for the embrace he's unwilling to let go when she starts to loosen her hold, and he pulls her in tighter.

"I'm sorry," she whispers. Namjoon leans his head against hers, happy just to hear her voice. 

"I'm just glad you're safe."

Hoseok goes to the kitchen with the food for Namjoon to give them a moment of privacy. He can still hear their voices, and even though he doesn’t know what they’re saying, it warms his heart that they’re finally talking again. 

“I’m sorry for being so awful for you these past couple weeks. I shouldn’t have acted like that,” Y/n cries weakly, still held tightly against her brother’s chest as new tears spill from her tired eyes. 

“I deserved it. I should have supported you, or at least listened to you. And I’m sorry for taking you for granted. I won’t do that anymore, I promise. I missed you, bug.” Namjoon gives her one final squeeze before pulling away. Y/n wipes her nose on her sleeve. 

“I missed you, too, you big dummy.”

“Whose shirt is that?” Namjoon wonders all the sudden. “Seokjin’s?”

Y/n couldn’t help laughing at the nearly accusatory tone of his questions. “Yeah,” she admits with a sheepish grin. 

“Wait-” Namjoon sighs, dropping his hands by his sides. “Never mind. It doesn’t matter. I’m just glad they helped you.”

“Me, too. Not gonna lie, I had no idea where I was.”

“Y/n, you can’t just go wandering around at night!”

“I didn’t. I went wandering during the day, and then...I got lost at night.” They both sigh heavily. “I didn’t mean to. I’ll try not to do it again.”

“Good. Now go get ready for bed.”

Y/n rolls her eyes with a, “Sir, yes, sir,” before moving toward the hallway. “Oh, and Hobi brought you food,” she adds, catching the smile that lights up his face before she turns to leave. 

Even though she’s had just about all she thinks she can stand of being wet tonight, Y/n decides to take a hot shower anyway. Despite being dry she feels the need to be clean. She wishes desperately that she could clean away all the things that feel so terribly wrong about her on the inside. As she does her best to wash every part the water can reach, she realizes that although she and Namjoon apologized to each other, they didn’t talk about what was actually happening to them. Because they never talk about it. Aside from the other day when Namjoon practically accused her of abandoning him, they’ve never had a real conversation about the hurtful things both of their parents have done to them. They’ve never talked about what it meant when their dad left them without any warning. They’ve never talked about the fact that their mother would rather work anywhere in the world than be at home with them, or that the reason they live alone and not with relatives is because of her own pride. Y/n’s never told Namjoon about the time that she overheard their mother tell their father that she never wanted the burden of children, and that he’d said he didn’t want it either. As sweet as it is that Hobi loves her and her new friends are kind, it can’t make up for the hurt she feels. She doesn’t notice she’s crying again as these thoughts swirl around in her mind and they don’t stop until Namjoon is banging on the bathroom door. 

“Hurry up, bug!”

“Sorry,” she replies slowly, shutting off the water immediately. Quickly, she wraps a towel around herself and slinks back to her room with water still dripping from her hair, Namjoon slipping in the bathroom right after her. She decides to put Jin’s shirt back on, finding comfort in the smell of him and the memory of what he did for her. She takes the time to dry her hair again, and when she turns off the blow dryer the house is dead quiet. Namjoon must have gone to sleep. She tries to do the same but after just a few minutes of lying in the darkness she realizes that her intrusive thoughts have no intention of letting her rest. Despite her exhaustion she pulls herself from bed and over to her desk to open her laptop, slips on her headphones and plays the first track under the artist Heart, mouthing along silently to every word.

After she’s gone through all of Heart’s songs twice--there aren’t very many of them--she pushes herself away from the desk and walks quietly into the dark hallway, rubbing her eyes from the brightness of the screen. She goes straight to the kitchen and drinks a glass of water without turning on any lights, but the unexpected sound of steady breathing has her fumbling for the closest light switch as she traverses the living room again. 

“H-Hobi?” she stutters out when she sees the boy spread out on the couch. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to wake you,” she apologizes, flipping the lights off again. 

“I hadn’t fallen asleep yet,” he assures her. 

“What are you still doing here? I thought you’d left.”

“My parents didn’t want me driving home so late, so they asked me to stay the night and bring the car back before school.” Y/n lets out a soft sound of understanding. It’s nice, she thinks, that his parents care about something like that. “You should go to sleep, angel.”

Y/n walks over to lean against the end of the couch. “I can’t, Hobi.” She knows what she needs, but she chews on the inside of her cheek. She couldn’t even get the words out before, she definitely can’t ask now, can she? And what would it mean if that’s the only way she can fall asleep? What would she do then? Just as she’s about to turn and hurry back to her room without saying any more, Hoseok sits up, sensing that whatever words she’s holding back will need some coaxing to get out. 

“What is it, babygirl?”

“It’s dumb but…”

“Hmm?”

“Can you...could you…” She groans, exasperated with herself and her own neediness. 

“Tell me what you need,” Hobi begs after she falls completely silent again. “You know I’ll do anything to make you feel better.”

“Can you come hold me ‘til I fall asleep?” She forces all the words out in a rush so none of them get stuck in her throat. 

A smile spreads wide across Hobi’s face because he’s proud of her for asking for what she needs and because he’s honored she trusts him with such a request. He throws off his blanket and springs up from the couch. “Of course I will. I’ll hold you all night.”

Together they walk back to her bedroom and she makes Hoseok get in close to the wall before she gets in the bed with him. This isn’t the first time they’ve shared a bed, nor the first time they’ve fallen asleep cuddling, but usually it’s because Hoseok is afraid of thunderstorms. 

“You sure are clingy tonight,” he teases as she scoots in, pulling away as soon as he says it. “Hey, no! I was kidding. Come here.” He pulls her back in and locks her in his arms. A minute passes as they get comfortable, fitting into each other perfectly, but he can feel she’s still holding a breath. His cheek brushes over hers so he can whisper in her ear, and her cheeks warm. “You’re gonna be okay,” he tells her. “I know it doesn’t seem like it, but you’re strong. A lot stronger than you should have to be, but you’re gonna be okay.”

She hates the fact that his words bring tears to her eyes and she pushes her face into his neck because she’s just so damn tired of crying. He hushes her gently, and she takes one deep breath, letting it out completely until finally she lets go of the remaining tension, allowing Hoseok’s natural warmth to lull her to sleep once and for all as he presses several soft kisses to the top of her head.

>>

Taglist [ask or comment to be added]: @burningupp-replies @halesandy @jikooksgirl19 @lilacdreams-00 @loveyoongles @yoongiofmine @thequeen-kat @renhold-nightspear @xxlovingfandomsxx @disregard-thefootsteps @taeshuworld   @abc-abc1234-a @becomingbts @xianav @kim-jias-den @deleteidentity @r4yih @somelazysundays

#bulletproof heart ❣ #bts social media au #bts fake texts #bts smau #bts yoongi #bts fanfic #bts jin #bts jungkook #bts jimin #bts namjoon #bts taehyung #bts jhope #bts hoseok #bts hobi #bts fic #bts fan fiction #bts au #bts x you #bts x y/n #bts x reader #bts angst #tw: abandonment #tw: neglect #tw: self harm

[lubdubsworld]

Better Man.

              ~~~~We might still be in love, if you were a better man. ~~~~

Taehyung x OC 

Rating 18 +

Angst. 

Implied Infidelity in the past. 

Chapter 1 ~ Walk out the first time. 

"Are you okay?" My mother's soft voice came from behind me and i panicked, hurriedly swiping at the tears that were streaking down my face. Heart pounding, I grabbed a bunch of tissues from the dresser, patting my face down hurriedly , making sure to keep my back to her. 

"I'm fine, Mom." I said , voice surprisingly steady as I turned around to smile weakly at her. She stood near the doorway, a petite woman of fifty with greying hair and too many wrinkles. 

I thought she looked older than she was and i knew I had a part to play in that. Sighing, I tried not to cry more, moving to gently take my son out of her arms. 

He was four years old, fast asleep and smiling sweetly in his slumber. He had downy black hair, feather soft and warm brown eyes. He looked incredibly like his father, the resemblance stunning even though he was so young. I stared at him some more, laying him down on the bed and brushing the hair off his face. 

"Are you sure there is no mistake? Taehyung ssi wouldn't hurt us like this..." My mother said, sounding broken and I felt a pang of sympathy. But also annoyance. 

Us. 

Us....like she had an equal share in the hurt I was feeling.

 I was the one getting a  divorce but my mother made it sound like it was personal to her as well. Like somehow, the fact that she now had to meet her friends and tell them that her daughter was divorced could compare to the pain I was feeling. To the sheer anguish that was filling me.

To be fair though, my mother had loved Taehyung very much. Her favorite son-in-law . My sister's husband had been a mean drunkard who had brought a lot of misery to our family. Taehyung by contrast had been a loving, filial son in law. He had cared deeply for my parents, paid for my father's funeral ( even though the man itself was nothing more than a drunk , cheating fool who had abandoned us )  and he had been the most kind man . 

I swallowed. 

Maybe , you should have forgiven him. Maybe , you shouldn't have divorced him . So, he slept with another woman. Fine.  It was one night... just one night. you should have gotten over it! Was it worth it to spend all these countless nights alone? To break your mother's heart a thousand times over? 

 The funny thing was, i had forgiven him. Maybe right after I had found out. He had stood there, looking shell-shocked and horrified and his eyes had begged me for forgiveness and my heart had cracked , the way it always did whenever I saw him in distress. And when he had looked me in the eye and said, "  I’m sorry,  Jang mi..." I had forgiven him right then and there.

 But it was the forgetting that was hard. The fear that it would happen again. The fear that somehow, I was the reason he strayed. And that kind of fear can be debilitating. For the first three weeks, I'd tried to pretend it hadn't happened. I had tried hard to see him the way I had always seen him but it had been impossible. everytime I saw him, my heart had broken anew. It had been hard but I had to accept that things would never be the same. That I would forever look at him and remember what he’d done. That I would forever wonder if he would do it again. 

So we had done the wise thing. 

At first a break.

 A few days apart to get our head on straight.  Then I’d found a job and I had to move closer to the office to make the commute easy. And then suddenly, I wasn’t seeing him even during the weekends , to spend time as family for our son’s sake. And just like that , a whole year had passed and we  were separated. Only meeting to hand Hoshi over to each other. 

"I'm sorry mother." I said softly. I knew that she blamed me, a whole lot for the separation. 

People with children  didn't leave each other over infidelity in my country. You hit your husband, denied him from your bed maybe but you didn't break up a family over one night of bad decisions. You just didn't .

But for me, it was beyond the act. It was the broken trust, the shock of knowing that some other woman had given him something I couldn't, the fact that he had even wanted it from another woman had been enough for me to crumble on the inside.  

But, none of it mattered now. 

He wanted a divorce. Officially. Wanted to end it for real. 

It was jarring, how badly it shook me. I felt unaccountably lost and confused and disoriented. I couldn't imagine not being Taehyung’s wife , i realized with a stunning sense of self realization.

 Call me irrational, but apparently, I couldn't stop thinking of him as my husband , even after two years. Soon he wouldn't be my husband. 

He would be  my ex -husband. 

i hated that word. 

It had such a plethora of negative connotations to it. When you hear it , you just brace yourself for unpleasantness.

 Because it is unpleasant. A marriage ending, a family breaking, feelings hurt , hearts shattered,  angry words tossed...its all a very unpleasant experience for everyone involved. 

An ex husband was seldom a harbinger of happiness, more often a reminder of choices gone wrong, regrets and wasted time. and I didn’t want to associate Taehyung with a word like that.

Taehyung who was still the kindest, warmest human being I knew. The best father in the world. 

I felt like someone had sucked all the strength out of me.

I didn’t really want to think about the call I’d gotten from Taehyung last night. An appointment with a divorce lawyer.  It had been followed by an apology because apparently, someone in the law firm had let the info leak. And now it was all over the sleazy tabloids that fed on people’s misery. 

It was impossible to escape it too, Taehyung was famous. An idol. And actor. The country's sweetheart. And he was the epitome of perfection. The beautiful, talented actor with an impeccable record of well behavior. 

I knew that literally everyone on the planet thought he was a literal angel. 

 I remembered how much , by contrast, I had been hated when I'd married him.

I could just imagine how much more it would all be this time around. And i wondered if it bothered Taehyung too. Did he perhaps wish he’d never met me

? 

It had been sheer luck that we had met.... 

In fact, if Jimin's  car hadn't broken down right outside our home on that cold December night, I wouldn't have even met Taehyung. A great cosmic shift, somewhere some butterfly flapped its wing a certain way and suddenly, Jimin’s car ran over a thumbtack and his phone was dead so while he tried to fix the damage , Taehyung  just had to knock on our home and I had been the one to open it. 

Boom. That was it. Love at first sight. 

 I had been a high school kid and he had been barely nineteen. Fresh faced and cheerful , the struggling idol from a small company. He hadn't been surrounded by fans or chased by saesangs. He hadn't had security tailing him. No daesangs, BBMAs, or acting awards. No blockbuster movies to his credit , no chart-bursting songs either . 

And I had fallen in love with that version of him. 

The hardworking, talented young man who worked twice as hard as anyone around him. 

 That's right. You've loved him for fifteen years.  So it's understandable that you're upset. Now, maybe you can move on too. Go on a few of those blind dates that Jiyoung is always setting you up on. Go live your life instead of being a zombie. Get a hair cut. Dye your hair red. Do something to get your life in order. 

"I still find it hard to believe that he would want a divorce. Jangmi yah... did you tell him you forgave him? Tell him you wanted to try again..." My mother said again and the distress in her voice was equal parts heartbreaking and exasperating. 

"Mother, I don't want to try again . We aren't married anymore. It's over, whatever it was between us. " 

 Whatever it was. 

How cruel, to have all that love, all that affection  reduced to a phrase like that. 

What a pity. 

"But what about Hoshi? He needs his father..." My mother cried out and I willed myself not to snap. She means well, I thought miserably. 

"He has a father. Taehyung is an excellent father and you know that. Don’t start that again.” 

My mother sighed.

"I still feel that this wouldn’t happen if you tried a little bit. He’s a good boy. Such a good boy and you could never do anyone better. Why are you so full of pride, Jangmi... so prideful...you should be a little humble. Think of the kind of man he is...where would you find a man like that ? And moreover .... Taehyung loves you. i know he does." My mother said stubbornly. 

I sighed, feeling my fingers shake from the effort not to scream. I wasn’t strong enough to have this conversation with her. Not now. Possibly never. Taehyung did  love me. Had never made any effort to hide it. But sometimes, love wasn’t enough. It just wasn’t. 

And I wanted to yell at my mother she was at least partially to blame for me walking out on Taehyung. 

My father had left us for another woman , when I was twelve. I had seen the toll it had taken on my mother and I just knew that I would never let a man do that to me. My mother had later confided in me that it wasn’t the first time. He had done it before. A lot of times. And my mother had always forgiven him. Let him back into our lives. 

And one night, drunk on soju she had confided between hiccups, ‘ I wish I’d walked out the first time.” 

And that had stuck with me. 

Walk out the first time. 

If he cheats on you , walk out the first time. Don’t stick around waiting for him to do it to you again. Walk out the first time. 

 And so I had. 

“ Should I talk to him? Tell him you’ve changed your mind? “ My mother began and I felt my patience snap.

“No!! Could you just, for the love of God, stay out of this, ma? It’s over. Our marriage is over and it has been over for a long time. A piece of paper doesn’t really change that, does it? Its not my fault you can’t get over it but that’s a you problem. And you need to fix it yourself.  “ I shouted. 

My mother immediately recoiled, eyes shuttering down. 

“Of course. You know the best. Who cares how anyone else feels, right, Jang Mi? You always know best.” She said softly, and I exhaled, shaken. There it was. The guilt trip. It was never ending. 

Please... I just need to go now.” I moved to grab my bag, :” I need to go get ready for the meeting with the lawyers tomorrow. You can keep Hoshi with you tonight.  I’ll come pick him up after I’m done and then I’ll drop him off at his father’s place.” 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

With Taehyung and I, our break up hadn’t been terrible. 

It hadn’t been terrible because our own penchant for being terrible had always been very minimal. We didn’t do swearing or fights or threats and it always annoyed our friends that we got along so well. That it was so easy for us to forgive and move on with each other . That we were the one couple who didn’t hold grudges or bring up past mistakes. 

Which is why, when we did break up, none of our friends had tried to change our minds over it. They had accepted it rather calmly, shocked at first because it was so out of the blue but not opposed to the idea itself . They just trusted us to know the right thing to do because we were easily the most mature , the most level headed couple in the entire group. We were usually the sounding boards , the voice of reason in whatever petty conflict our friends were involved in . 

So when it was us, needling a little advice, a little guidance, our friends had been woefully ill equipped to help. They had merely hummed and nodded and empathized. Maybe that was another reason I’d left. I hadn’t considered the alternative. No one had asked me to consider the alternative. 

Our friends had watched us drift apart watched us break up, but they hadn’t really asked us  why.  

Because if something had caused Kim Taehyung and Jang Mi to break up, man, that must’ve been a really huge issue. 

So the break up had been amicable. Gradual and slow but mostly amicable, eased by our mutual love for our son. We wanted him happy and he was happy when we were happy. So we put on a front, laughed and joked in front of him and let him have some semblance of normalcy in his life. 

It wasn’t easy. 

From him,  it had been nothing but a mess of   heated glances, touches laced with intent and eyes begging forgiveness . every gaze of his was a silent scream for a second chance that I was not at all ready to give. 

Because for me, the raw hurt and anger and frustration that bubbled up every time I saw him , it had nowhere to go. It stayed churning in my gut, made everything bitter and unpalatable and I wanted to hurt him for hurting me. How could I think of a second chance when the hurt from the first, was still so fresh, an open wound festering. 

Self esteem in tatters, I had hated him fiercely. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The meeting was at his company, and I arrived at nine in the morning, with a few more minutes to spare.  I knew the place like the back of my hand, was here at least  once a week either to pick or drop Hoshi off and I knew that the conference room in the third floor was sound proof and cut off from the rest of the building for extra privacy. 

Which was a little too late because I’d found two tabloid newspapers waiting outside my apartment this morning. 

I opened the door carefully, surprised to see Taehyung sitting in one of the chairs, bent over a sheaf of paper on the table and next to him a leggy girl in a small skirt hovered, fingers resting lightly on his shoulder, bent at the optimum angle to show him her curves. 

I sighed, looking away.

It was way too early for this. 

“Mia!” Taehyung’s voice made me look up, and I watched as he stood up, pushing the chair away and moving to me . He was easily the most good looking man in the country. And he looked so good at thirty five that it was impossible to look away from him. 

He was dressed in a pale blue shirt and black slacks and it never amazed me, how good clothes fit him. 

I took in the broad shoulders, thick arms and the lean waist, the carefully styled hair and the breathtakingly beautiful face and sighed when he kept coming closer, hands held out. . 

Of course, the customary hug. 

i let him wrap his arms around me, my face buried in the comforting warmth of his body, the scent of his cologne filling my brain . He always smelled so good it made my heart hurt. I tried not to let myself get carried away. Tried to remind myself that this wasn’t anything more than a.....

A facade ? Or was it? Was his affection genuine? 

Was I just too cynical?

I shook my head, pulling away and smiling a little at the genuine venom in the leggy girl’s face. 

“Are you okay? Where’s Hoshi?” Taehyung brushed the hair off my face, eyes warm and I wondered if he’d forgotten we were here to get a divorce.

 Whenever we met, Taehyung acted like we were still together. 

No, that wasn’t it. 

He just didn’t act like we had broken up. He was affectionate and open and cooperative. It always left me in a sort of limbo, unable to navigate our relationship with clear boundaries. There were no line to stop myself from crossing, because he just didn’t draw them. 

“ Ms. Lee says we just have to go over the details like the alimony and the custody and the division of assets and then we can just proceed. Get it all finalized.  “ He said casually, when I moved away and sat on the chair opposite him. 

“Okay .” I said casually. 

He smiled and turned back to the girl next to him.

“I’ll join you after the meeting Lisa.” he gave her a nice wide smile and the girl practically bloomed under the attention before bowing curtly in my direction. I watched her walk away, slightly amused.

“Bit younger than your usual type.” I commented , glancing at him. He gave me a look.

“I’m not dating her.” He shrugged. 

“Does she know that?” I retorted.

 It was dumb. Uncalled for. I was being a bitch, really but the urge to evoke some kind of reaction from Taehyung was something I’d never really out grown. I liked getting under his skin.

Taehyung sighed and gave me a little smirk.

“Are you jealous, Mia mine?” He teased. 

It felt a little like someone had dug a nine inch dagger straight  into my heart. 

That stupid nickname. 

God I couldn’t bear it. 

Swallowing i looked away. 

“Sorry. “ he said quietly, a few seconds later. 

I nodded curtly. 

“Don’t do it again.” I said hoarsely. 

“Why not?” He whispered gently. 

I groaned. 

“Taehyung... “

“it’s just a name...why does it bother you so much?” He whispered. 

“The same reason you’re asking me for a divorce.” I said softly.

He blinked.

“Mia...”

“Because we both know its time to stop.” I said quietly. “ Stop dancing around each other , stop doing...whatever it is we’ve been doing these past two years and give our relationship a name. “ 

“I’m not very fond of labels.” He shrugged. I glared at him. 

“Well tough luck. Labels are good. Labels are great. They let you draw boundaries. “ I retorted. 

“You sound like you’ve had enough of me.”

“Well, haven’t you had enough of me?” I snapped.

“Not even close.” He leaned forward gently, eyes pinning me to the table with a gaze so strong he may as well have used his body. And it didn’t help that two years wasn’t enough time to forget how it would feel if he  had  used his body. How it would feel to be stretched out on that table, him on top of me, hands working my clothes open, lips kissing their way down my jaw. 

I could almost taste him, taste the minty freshness of his breath, feel his tongue in my mouth, the hardness of him inside me. My thighs clenched because I hadn’t gotten laid in two fucking years and even if i did, no one would ever compare to the man in front of me. 

“Mr. Kim? Mrs. Kim? “ 

The lawyer’s voice broke the spell and i straightened, swallowing. Ms. Lee had walked in , and I watched her close the conference door behind her before locking it gently. 

She was young, dressed in a business suit , a no nonsense bun and had small round framed glasses. She gave me a nice smile, shook hands with us both and placed her briefcase on the table before glancing between us. 

“Shall we begin?” 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Author’s Note : its gonna be a bumpy ride. 

#taehyung angst #taehyung smut #taehyung fics #bts fics #taehyung fanfic #bts smut #bts fic #bts fanfic

[writemywaytoyourheart]

BTS Reaction: You Have An Ovarian Cyst

Requested: yes a long time ago ;-;

Genre: fluff

Warnings: uh, mentions of ovarian cysts but it's not that bad lol

A/n: I know it's taken me a long time to get something out and I'm sorry about that. But I hope you enjoy this anyway 🙂 love you guys!

KIM SEOKJIN:

I love this man...that is all

"What do you want for dinner tonight, princess?"

Jin looks at you from across the shopping cart between you two as you browse the vegetable aisle. He frowns when you don't seem to be paying attention to him, just keep gently pushing on the avocados to test their ripeness.

"Y/n?"

"Huh?" You finally look up at him and he smiles.

"I asked what you'd like for dinner tonight." 

MIN YOONGI:

"Oh, sorry." You laugh quietly, but Jin immediately picks up that something is wrong. He comes around the cart to put his hands on your shoulders, making you face him.

"Is everything alright, princess?"

"Yeah...it's just..." You look around to make sure no one overhears you.

"It just hurts." You finally whisper.

"What hurts?" Your husband whispers back.

You point down at your lower abdomen and it clicks in his brain. You had been having a lot of ovary pain recently, so you went to the doctors to get it checked out.

It turns out you have an ovarian cyst, but it wouldn't require any surgeries. The doctor just told you a few things that might help ease the pain until it goes away.

Jin has been a saint this whole time, doing everything he can to make it better for you. Now, he nods and pulls you in for a quick kiss on your forehead. Then he whispers, "I've got an idea."

At Seokjin's urging, you end up buying chocolates and almonds and a few other foods that are high in magnesium. The doctor told him that magnesium high foods should help the pain. When you get home, he makes you sit on the couch while he gives you some chocolate and almonds as he puts the groceries away.

When he's done, he comes over and sits next to you, pulling you in and kissing your cheek. "You just snack on those, sweetheart."

"Thanks, Jinnie."

"Love you, princess."

[email protected] duality is gonna give me whiplash

"Ouuuch, Yoongi!" 

At your call of distress, your fiance runs into the living room from where he was producing in his studio. He sees you all curled up on the couch, your face twisted in pain as you clutch your abdomen. 

"Yoongi it hurts." You whine. 

"Oh, baby." Yoongi comes around the side of the couch and sits on the floor where he can be face to face with you. He gently takes one of your hands away from your stomach and holds it close to his chest.

"Have you taken your supplements today, love?" 

"No." You say weakly. 

"Ok, I'll be right back." He lets go of your hand to go and grab the supplements your doctor told you to take every day. 

You gladly move and smile softly when he cuddles into you, nuzzling his nose in your hair. "I'm sorry you have to deal with this, baby."

He comes back with them and a glass of water, and then helps you take it.

After you've chugged some of the water and taken the supplement, Yoongi has you scoot over so that he can lay on the couch with you. 

"It's not so bad when I get to cuddle you like this." You whisper tiredly. 

He smiles and kisses you gently, "Try to get some sleep, love."

JUNG HOSEOK:

heeheheheee i luv he

KIM NAMJOON:

"Is it still hurting, babe?"

You can hear the worry in his voice clearly. You clear your throat and whisper into the phone, since you're in the middle of your workplace.

"Yeah, but it's probably nothing." You hear him sigh at that.

"Y/n-"

"Sorry, Hobi. I have to go, my boss is coming."

You hang up and quickly get back to work before your boss catches you slacking off. The rest of your work day goes by rather painfully, with your worried boyfriend constantly texting you to make sure you're still alive.

By the time you're home, your lower abdomen is in so much pain its taking all you have not to burst out crying. You unlock your front door and walk in to plop yourself on the couch in a heap of misery.

Then a series of quick knocks sounds on your door. You barely have enough time to lift your head before you hear it unlock and your boyfriend comes in, his brows creased in worry.

"Babe, I've been worried sick about you all day!" He cries as he hurries over to you. "That's it, I'm taking you to the doctor."

Not even half an hour later, you're at the doctors and explaining everything that's been happening. They do an ultrasound and it turns out that you have an ovarian cyst on your left ovary.

No wonder.

Hobi is diligent on taking notes about how to help you, he listens to the doctor intently, madly scribbling everything that's important.

When you're back at your place, Hobi gives you some painkillers and cuddles you in bed.

"Are you doing okay, Jagi?" He asks every few minutes. You can't help but laugh at how worried he is.

"I'll be okay, Hobi. Thank you for everything."

"You can always count on me, Y/n."

so smol and soft ;-;

PARK JIMIN:

"Are you okay, y/n?"

You turn to your husband at his question. He's holding your hand gently as you two walk through the park with ice cream in hand.

You hadn't realized that you were zoning out. The truth is you aren't okay, you're miserable. You found out last week that the pain you've been having is an ovarian cyst. Namjoon has been a sweetheart and taken care of you as best he can. He's always trying different ways to help you cope with the pain.

"It just hurts a bit." You admit after a moment of silence.

Namjoon nods understandingly, "Do you want to head home?"

You nod and he kisses your forehead gently before tossing his empty ice cream cup in a nearby trashcan.

It only takes a few minutes for you to get home. Once you're there, you pull off your shoes and groan as you hold your abdomen and stumble to your bedroom.

"I'll be in there in a minute, sweetie." Namjoon calls after you.

A few minutes later, the bedroom door opens and you peek your eyes open to see Namjoon slipping inside. He's carefully carrying a little tea cup, walking slowly and sitting next to you as softly as he can. Then he hands you the tea cup when you sit up.

"What's this?" You ask sleepily.

"Ginger tea. It'll help with the pain. I did some research." He laughs shyly at the smile on your face.

You take a sip of the hot tea and hum in satisfaction, "It's amazing. Thank you, baby."

"Anything for you, babe."  

KIM TAEHYUNG:

hot dog hot dog hot diggity dog

"Ok, jagiya. This isn't normal."

Jimin is practically in tears himself watching you cry over your period pain. He knows cramps are painful, but this seems like it's so much worse than usual and he's really worried. But you insist that it's normal for periods to hurt as you lie on his bed in tears.

"But not like this!" He cries, wringing his hands. "You've been unable to move for hours I think we need to call the doctor."

"Jimin, I'm sure it's nothing." You sniffle tearfully and wipe your nose with your shirt sleeve.

He sighs and lies next to you, cuddling into your side in hopes of putting you to sleep. But a few hours later, he's awaken by the sound of your crying. He sits up and gently pulls you to sit up too.

"We're going to the doctors, right now."

~

The doctor told you that you have cysts on your ovaries and that's what's been causing your horrible pain. He gives you a few tips to help and Jimin listens intently.

Jimin drives you back to your apartment and helps you to the couch, then he grabs a fluffy blanket and drapes it over you. After that, he runs to get some pain medicine and comes back to give it to you with some water.

"Thanks Jimin." You croak tiredly. He smiles at you and brushes your hair out of your face, "I'll always be here, Jagi. The medicine shouls kick in soon." Then he leans down and kisses your forehead.

"Get some sleep."

oh pllssss give me a hug. you so cute.

JEON JUNGKOOK:

You smile half-heartedly at a text message from your boyfriend. You checked your phone immediately after you got out of your doctor's appointment. And of course, Tae had already messaged asking if everything was alright and if the doctor had given you any diagnosis.

He was going insane watching you in so much pain every day for the past few weeks. He kept insisting you go to the doctor and you finally did it today. It's a good thing you did, because apparently your pain isn't all in your head like you thought it might be.

Your doctor let you know after some ultra sounds that you have an ovarian cyst on your right ovary. He gave you a few things to do and some supplements to take to help ease the pain, but that's really all he could do until it went away on it's own.

You send Tae a quick text, telling him that you just got out, you're okay, and you will tell him about it at home.

When you get to your apartment, Tae opens the door before you even get a chance to fish your keys out of your purse. You laugh at his wide eyes, "Hey Tae, when did you get here baby?" You ask as you make your way inside and take your shoes off.

"Oh, I came over right after I got out of practice. I've been waiting for you, are you okay?" He asks worriedly, taking your hand as you walk over to your couch and plop down.

"Ohh, I'm fine. It's an ovarian cyst."

The look of horror on his face makes you laugh again. He isn't laughing as he kisses your cheek, "I'm sorry baby, is there anything I can do to help?"

You think for a minute before nodding, "Can you actually grab me the heating pad? It's in my closet."

"Of course!" He jumps to his feet and hurries to grab it. When he gets back, he cuddles into your side and gently puts the heating pad to your abdomen.

"Thanks, Taetae."

"I love you."

oofie it hurts i luv he smile

"Oh baby, is it bad right now?"

Jungkook hurries over to the side of your shared bed the moment he sees you curled on your side, your eyes squeezed shut. You nod, feeling your husband tuck your hair behind your ear and put his hand to your forehead. "What can I do to help you, honey?" He asks desperately.

"I don't know." You whisper hopelessly.

Jungkook bites the inside of his cheek in frustration. He doesn't understand why the doctors can't just fix everything and help you to stop hurting so much. He knows it will go away eventually, but he can't stand seeing you in so much pain right now.

He sits next to you and continues to brush his fingers through your hair, hoping it'll at least distract you. While he brushes your hair, he calls his eldest hyung. Seokjin always knows what to do.

"Jin hyung, what do I do?"

~

A few minutes later, you feel Jungkook shift and get up from the bed. Then he goes into the bathroom and you hear the tub start running. A little bit after that, your husband comes back in and kisses your cheek, "Come on, baby." Jungkook whispers as he practically carries you to the bathroom, where he helps you undress and step into the warm bath. You sink down, grateful when you realize he sits outside the tub and keeps holding your hand.

"I put some epsom salts in, it should start helping soon." Jungkook whispers softly.

"Thank you, Kook. I love you."

"I love you too, sweetie. Now, just relax." He reassures you, kissing your lips gently.

#jeon jungkook #bts imagines #bts fluff #bts smut #kim seokjin #kim taehyung #kim namjoon #park jimin #min yoongi #jung hoseok #bts reactions #bts angst #jungkook fluff #jungkook angst #taehyung fluff #taehyung angst #bts x reader #bts x yn #jungkook x reader #jungkook x yn #jungkook smut #jkjk #unless... #nah im kiddin

[sicjimin]

Ive really wanted a Fic where Y/N is sick in front of the other boys while her Significant Other [One of the Members] is away like recording or somethin. And they take care of her for him until he gets back to her. So my idea is Y/N is throwing up in front of the other 6 boys from morning sickness and they ask her what happened why she was sick was it something she ate and she breaks down crying. So the boys call her boyfriend to come back and he is freaking out over the phone and tells them he will be right there. Then when he gets there the couple finally tells the other boys that she is pregnant.

So sorry if I don’t make much sense 😅

A.N : HEEHHHH THIS IS CUTEEE and here we go with the full fic . A trial y/n fic sjshsjds please do tell me the feedbacks from this story TT maybe i could make more if you like it? And i added @yooniestummy idea where the members giving the sickie pregnancy remedies to lessen their morning sickness :D (thankyou!💗) ok, i hope you guys like it even tho this come out in a rush 🤣

TW : emeto, morning sickness

You squeezed your eyes shut when a wave of nausea that has been building in your stomach since the moment you wake up, intensifies, making your brush that means to give some blush on Seokjin's cheeks float away mindlessly in your grip.

"Are you okay?", Seokjin asks after seeing you standing by yourself for five minutes now in a very distressed state. You were sure your lip balm from this morning couldn't hide your pale lips by now. The nausea is overwhelming. It took everything inside of you not throwing up at your mouth. You gulped down a faint of your breakfast that already lingers on the back of your throat, opening your eyes to see Seokjin's worried gaze, " I'm fine, Seokjin-ssi. Don't worry. Now please smile a little, i'm gonna apply this", you mutter a tight-lipped smile.

Seokjin throws you a worried look, "You look pale. Are you sick?"

You chuckle dryly as you try to push away all the unpleasantness and nausea that was threatening to come out, "Nah, I'm fine. A little bit under weather but, it will pass", you said.

Seokjin frowns even more than before, he sighs heavily as he looks away, clearly unconvinced with your excuse, but decided to not peers further, " Just tell me if you're not feeling well or need something, okay? Yoongi isn't here, so its our obligation too to keep you sound and safe or Yoongi will rat us out", Seokjin warns in a soft voice, his eyebrows scrunched together slightly.

You chuckle, "I know, thank you"

After that, it was an easy conversation between you and Seokjin as you continue to apply makeup on the artist's face. And to be frank, it helps to distract you from the urge to vomiting from earlier. Its start subsided, making you almost sigh in relief. Because the last thing that you want is bringing back your breakfast in this crowded small room, and more, in front of your boyfriend's friends.

You were about to apply the hairspray when the scent of the first spray coming to your nose and engulf you completely. Your stomach churn in remorse. You shuddered as you tried to stop yourself from gagging. Your hands immediately clamped on your mouth as by now, warm liquid already seeping on your throat. Your stomach hitched once more, making you heave on your palm. You're really gonna be sick.

"Seokjin-ssi, i'm sorry but—", you croak while still trying to hold in your vomit. Seokjin stops his fingers from scrolling on his phone, "What is it?", he asks in a gentle tone, concern laced in his words. You shook your head slightly.

You can't answer him because of your gag reflex. And the only other thing you can do right now is throw up. " I need to go to the bathroom, excuse me", you said quickly, not even care if Seokjin could really comprehend your words or not, before running outside the room, almost collided with Jimin too in the process.

You didn't get to reach the toilet, opted to the sink instead as your stomach heaved again. The chunky liquid that been filling your cheeks splashing messily to the sink. Staining it from the white porcelain colors, now covered with brown vomit. You could see the crackers you managed to nibble on earlier already there. You pants, sucking air for as much as you can before your stomach jerked against your palm, gurgling up more of your stomach content in one big stream, leaving you chokes at the force. You shakily turn the faucet on, so it could drain the mess as the sight and smell only making your stomach twist further.

"Uuurrkk-", you retched again , your throat burning as the contents from your stomach came rushing towards it again. Your hand messily tries to hold your hair back, even though you know some of it already spilled there. You were too busy gasping and puking to notice that someone hold your hair and rubbed your back, " Oh my gosh, why don't you tell me if you're sick"

You lifted your head, and meet Seokjin's eyes, and Jimin too, in the mirror. You were about to muster the answer but instead, another bout of sickness hit your body. This time more intense.

"Let it out .. you will feel better soon", Seokjin murmurs softly.

It took you few rounds more until your stomach decided that it's finally empty. You feel lightheaded, dizzy

"I'm sorry.. This is so gross..", you tried to catch your breath as you wipe the remaining vomit off your chin, and rinse your mouth. Your cheeks flushed, both because of vomiting and because of embarrassment.

Jimin and Seokjin exchange worried glances, "You alright?", he asked.

" Just .. nausea. I already feel better", you said and smiled weakly.

"You sure?", this time Jimin is the one that asks. " You look like you gonna pass out anytime soon"

Well, he's not wrong. In fact, you feel like crying as the breakfast you tried to hold back is already gone in the drain. You were exhausted, and your stomach is sore.

Before you know, tears already springing on your face. Damn pregnancy hormones!

Seokjin and Jimin looked alarmed and worried, "Aigoo , why are you crying? Are we saying something wrong? Do you want us to call Yoongi?", they asked, their worry showing clearly in their expressions as you shake your head no.

"No, No. It's just... ", you stopped and take a deep breath, wiping the tears on your cheek.

"I'm sorry i don't know why i'm suddenly crying", you say between hiccups.

" Do you want us to call Yoongi? I think he will be there in few minutes", Jimin says as he steals a glance at his watch. You nod sheepishly, "That would be good. Thank you"

"Lets get you back to the dressing room, you can rest there, okay? I truly meant it when you look like you will faint anytime soon", Seokjin says, concern lacing in his voice as you nodded, sniffling a couple of times.

You follow them to the dressing room, the nausea had receded slowly, leaving you lightheaded and tired.

You plopped down to the one of the couch there, closing your eyes tightly as the exhaustion washed over you.

They sat down on either side of you. They talked quietly for a while, about random things. It made you smile despite nausea that slowly building up again because of the mixed scent of perfume and other makeup products in that small room. You could feel your stomach start to churn again, and the talking could do so much to dawn the overwhelming in your senses.

You groan, covering your face as you tried to breathe through it.

"Y/n?", you heard Jimin calling your name, " Is everything okay?"

You shakes your head, swallows thickly, "No", you whimper, " I think i'm gonna puke again"

Jimin curses under his breath, looking expectantly to Seokjin that immediately scoots closer to you, "Can you make it to the bathroom?"

Instead of words, a wet gag escaped from your mouth the moment you opened it. Giving a solid answer to both men beside you that no, you won't make it to the bathroom.

Jimin scrambled on his feet, taking the bag from one of the other makeup artists there and mumbling quick apologies, quickly placing it under your chin, that you gladly accepted.

"I'm sorry-uurrkk", A thick yellow vomit immediately plopping into it. Making it heavier on Jimin's grips. It tastes bitter. It must be bile since you're already empty. Seokjin back to massaging your nape as your head keep diving further to the bag, filling it with water and bile, everything that your stomach needs to expel with each heave.

"Baby .. ", Yoongi voices suddenly come, followed by a rushed step to the couch where you are seated, and kneeling in front of you.

" Yoongi ...", you croaked out in between heaving. A little bit confused on how and when Yoongi comes but the sickness in your body clouding that question.

"Shhh.. don't talk, its okay baby, im right here with you ", Yoongi cooed, wrapping his arm around you, rubbing your back soothingly as you let out soft cries. " I feel horrible"

Yoongi coos, as he glared at Seokjin to make a spot for him on the couch, gaining eye rolls from the older.

"They have been vomiting a lot, Yoongi-ah", Seokjin commented calmly as he continued to brush your bangs away from your sweaty forehead gently. Jimin pulls away the bag as you are only left with dry heaving. Nothing can come out anymore. You slumped against Yoongi's body, your exhaustion doubled.

" The little one is giving you a hard time, huh?", Yoongi means to mumble. Only for you to hear but of course it didn't work, as you could hear Seokjin and Jimin yelps, "Little one .. what?"

Yoongi stammered, "Um .. baby?"

"What the fuck do you mean with baby?", Seokjin asks.

" Baby .. human being ..?"

You chuckle at the conversation, pulling yourself from Yoongi's embrace, "I'm pregnant", you said bluntly, causing all of them to choke in surprise. Seokjin looks flabbergasted at first but then he bursts out laughing, "I'm gonna be an uncle?" he asked excitedly while Yoongi chuckles lightly.

Jimin turns to look at you, shock clear on his expression as well, "Wow! Congrats!", you smiled, nodding your head in response. "How far along are you now?"

"6 weeks", you said, hands grazing over your stomach.

Seokjin turns his eyes to Yoongi and slaps the younger playfully, " Why dont you tell us"

Yoongi grunts, "I meant to!! but the baby here decided to freak out and let you guys know their existence soon"

You chuckle, "I'm sorry .. gosh, that must be gross to see. My morning sickness just started and it's bad"

"What are you saying .. it's okay. Just caught us off guard", Jimin smiles. " Are you feeling better now?"

"Yeah. Thanks", you thanked, smiling genuinely at the two of them.

"Are we the first one that knows hyung?," Jimin asks Yoongi. His eyes glinted with the plan to tease the other. Yoongi laughs, " Yes? Technically i want to tell you guys altogether but this happened so.."

Jimin springs on his feet the moment Yoongi answered him, "Oohh i'm gonna boast to others", he says excitedly before running outside to search for other members, " Congrats again, (y/n)-ssi!!"

Seokjin also laughs at the sight, "You're gonna get an earful from the others", gaining grunts from Yoongi.

And since then, every time you go to work, each member seems like having ginger-mint candies in their pocket, and immediately offers it to you the moment you halts in your movement to give them make-up and seem like you're going to be sick.

Just like what Jungkook did now.

" Here, (y/n)-ssi. You're nauseous again, aren't you?", he says when he catch you just stand there with your eyes closed after giving the youngest his eyeshadow.

And you will always accept the candies thankfully because it works. At least you can last until finishing one member's make-up before making a run to the bathroom.

#bts sickfic #bts emeto #tw emeto #tw vomit #bts x y/n #caretaker!yoongi #caretaker!seokjin #caretaker!jimin #bts x reader sickfic #bts imagines

[peculiarscriptures51]

The one where he needs a babysitter Pt.1 (PJM)

🌺 In this excerpt, Jimin had kids before meeting Hazel (their names are the same), meaning his boys are fully Korean for this excerpt

Jimin groans when he gets home late once again, the house was dark, which he found strange, usually Suan was up to greet him. However, as he walked further into his large home he quickly discovered that everyone was upstairs. He jogs up the steps, putting his briefcase in his office before locking the door and going to investigate the beam of light from his boys' room. He coos when he sees both his children sleeping in their respective beds. However there was no sign of their babysitter. Jimin kisses their heads and turns the light off, heading back to his office to see if he can get a hold of Suan.

There were no messages sent to him via text, which he found quite odd, so naturally he checked for an email and even an update on her website profile he'd found her on. Nothing. Jimin did suppose it was quite late, so he decided to sleep on it. The next morning, though, was quite strange. Jimin had migrated from his bedroom to his office, as he usually does. By morning Suan was always there, taking care of the boys. But when he heard Jaemin crying from the next room over, he was startled, especially when his distress wasn't accompanied by Suan's shushing. With a furrowed brow, Jimin stood from his office chair and rushed over to his boys' room. Jaemin sat in his crib, whining and fussing. As for Minseon, his older son, he ran up to Jimin's leg to cling to. Jimin couldn't be sure why Suan wasn't there. And she left no notice of any sort. He lifts his baby from his crib, placing his binky back between his lips so he'd calm down. Jaemin's large wet eyes open as he sucks on his soother, Jimin sighs as he hugs his neck. "Appa, gotta potty." Minseon tugged at his pants, bouncing impatiently. Jimin sighs, holding his hand out for Minseon and taking him to the boys' connected bathroom. Jaemin squirms in his arms, under a lot of distress as he needed to be changed. Jimin gets his older son situated first since it was more urgent, telling him not to move from his potty seat so that he could change Jaemin. Minseon hums a song from where he sits, swinging his little feet with his pants at his ankles. Meanwhile his father was making calls to Suan, she picked up at last on the third attempt. "Suan-ah! Where are you-" "I can't do it anymore, Jimin-ssi. I quit." She said bluntly. Jimin drops his head in defeat, Jaemin watching him curiously, his binky never ceasing to bob. "Okay, fine. But why couldn't you have told me sooner?" He couldn't just leave his boys at home, he had a company to run, and bringing them with him would only cause more trouble. Jaemin grabs at Jimin's shirt with tiny chubby hands, studying the pattern of it. Luckily Jimin still had at least a few hours to spare before work. He'd have to spend it finding a replacement for the day, even if it's temporary. He hangs up on Suan, and would be sure to write a review when he got the chance. He hated being inconvenienced at such short notices. It was his absolute pet peeve. Jaemin whimpers, looking up at his father with his adorable big eyes. His cheeks looked chubbier with the pacifier in place, not to mention how puffy his face was from sleep. Jimin sighs when his tummy growls and kisses his head of dark hair, he had a lot of phone calls to make. "Appa, I'm hungwy," Minseon murmured from his seat, Jimin turning from the changing table toward him. "Let's see what Appa can make you two." He decided. His food wasn't anything short of mediocre, at least Jaemin was easier. He'd only just turned one, so Jimin opted for cut up fruits and gave him dry cereal. As for Minseon, he'd want more than that, Jimin gave him the other half of Jaemin's banana while he made his older son eggs. He'd taken a more western approach to his kids' breakfast but he didn't have too much knowledge in cooking to make them a meal, not to mention he was too focused on finding another babysitter. Jaemin holds a strawberry slice out to him while Jimin was on hold for the fifth time that morning. It seems that just about everyone was busy for that day. Jimin put a smile on for his youngest, Jaemin was quite sensitive and quiet. Jimin could count on his fingers how many times he spoke, all of which he'd only said "Appa". He cries when he notices anyone was upset, and usually tries to cheer them up with 'gifts'. His gesture was always quite cute. Jimin supposed that was what he was trying to do now. "Thanks buddy," he cooed, munching on the strawberry slice for his son's satisfaction. He looks at Minseon, sipping on his juice from his sippy cup. "Slow down, Seonie. You'll get a tummy ache if you drink too fast." The call he made dropped, he didn't even get an answer. Jimin sighs, gripping his

hair. He had no clue what he was going to do, and he had to be at work in three hours. Who would he find? Jimin starts doing what he always does when he's in a bind: he calls Taehyung. "Yah, Taehyung-ah," he started getting straight to the point. "Well good morning to you too, Jimin-ah. What do you need, now?" "Suan quit on me last minute and I need to find someone to watch the boys. Are you available-" the younger's sigh spoke volumes. Jimin internally groaned and asked the next best thing. "Do you know anyone?" Taehyung hums. Jimin slumps back in his chair, both his kids staring at him curiously. Jaemin gurgles from his high chair, offering another strawberry slice. With a huff, Jimin leans close and eats from his son's little hand, he grabs his spoon to scoop up the bananas that Jaemin mushed in his bowl - the boy only ever eats them when they're mashed - and feeds it to the baby. "Taehyung I'm desperate. Just for today." Jimin groans, clearly defeated, though he didn't like admitting it. "I can't do much, but I think I might know someone. It won't be what you expect, though." "At this point as long as they commit and do the job right I don't care. Thanks, Tae." "Don't mention it. I'll send her over to your place, if that's alright?" "That's perfect." Jimin hung up and sighs in relief, throwing his head back. He wondered where he'd be without Taehyung, who seemed to have all sorts of connections. Jimin wipes Minseon's face, "Seonie, Jae, you know how Appa has to go to work?" Minseon bobs his head, turning his head away with a stubborn whine as Jimin wipes his nose with the wet wipe. "With Suan noona." He added, referring to how they were left in her care. "Yeah, well, noona's going away-" Jaemin squeals and bounces happily, kicking his feet and clapping his tiny sticky hands. Jimin chuckles, "Why, does that make you happy, buddy?" "Noona yelled a lot." Minseon admitted, Jimin's face falls. He was never told this. His heart sinks as he speaks, "She did?" Minseon bobs his head, "Made Jae scawed sometimes." Jimin sighs, he wished he knew that, he will definitely be writing an honest review now. What kind of babysitter takes advantage of defenseless kids like that? It was pissing him off more but he didn't let it show because it would surely upset his children. "Well, when this next caretaker comes, you tell me if they make you feel bad in any way, alright, Seonie? Jae can't defend himself." "He's just a baby." Minseon added. "That's right, he's just a baby," Jimin continued. "I want you to be on your best behavior with this new babysitter, okay? Listen to them and be nice, and help take care of your brother, okay, Seonie?" The toddler nods, pouting. Jimin pats his head, "Why the long face?" "'Cause Appa still has to go..." he mumbled, Jimin having to lean in to hear him. "Hey, I'll still call you like always, bud. And I'm here now..." He tried, though that did little to alleviate his eldest's sadness. "'S not the same without Appa." Despite Jimin's efforts, he always goes out of his way to call home at least once everyday. The boys always look forward to it, even if it's only for a few minutes. Jimin gets up, collecting the boys' dishes. He sets Minseon on the ground, watching him toddle off to his playroom. Jimin heard the tv start playing cartoons. "C'mon, Jae. Let's take your medicine." He lifts Jaemin and carries the small boy on his side, the baby puts his hand in his mouth, starting to suck it as Jimin placed their dishes in the dish washer. He opens a high cabinet and spins the turn table for seasonings, where he hid Jae's prescription just in case. It had to be taken directly after eating. Since Jae got the prescription, in the mornings Jimin usually had to be the one to administer his medicine. Jae hated when Suan attempted it, he still fussed with Jimin but he wasn't balling his eyes out and fighting when his father did it. Jimin readied the oral syringe and aimed it for his son's inner cheek. Jae tries to turn his head, letting out a frustrated cry as Jimin pressed the plunger. He tries

leaning back in his father's hold, though he obviously wasn't going anywhere. Finally the baby swallowed the dose, Jimin kisses his head and rubs his back. "It'll make your tummy feel better, bud." Jimin assured, Jae developed an intestinal problem, which was quite common for babies, Jimin wasn't too concerned, knowing it'll go away with time and medicine. He'd only had the medicine two weeks and it could take a month or more for the problem to go away entirely. Jimin brings his younger son to the playroom with Minseon, who was rolling around his plastic, colorful trucks, barely paying the tv much mind. He starts to sit Jae in his play pen, only for the boy to fuss. Jimin sighs, setting him beside it. "Seonie, play nice with your brother, okay? I'll be back." The boy nods, his little brother crawling on the white carpet floor after Seonie's trucks. Jimin jogs upstairs to dress for work and make himself coffee when he returned to the kitchen. Just as he was blowing the steam from his mug to enjoy his first sip, he heard Minseon. "Appa! Jaejae's stinky!" Jimin sighs and sets his mug down, going to fetch Jaemin to change his diaper. He lifts him up and heads upstairs to change the boy in their bathroom. Jaemin was sleepy, Jimin was sure he was ready for his morning nap already. He yawns as Jimin wipes him down. He didn't bother putting the tiny pants back on, as Jae usually liked to nap without pants on. Jimin couldn't be sure why as the house was always perfectly temperate, but he found it cute. He placed his binky back in his mouth before he could suck his hand again. He brought sleepy Jaemin back downstairs to set down in his napping area on the floor. It was like many children's beds in Korea, though Jimin only wanted his children to nap on the floor, sleeping that way through the night wasn't very practical for them. There was a soft knock at the door, followed by the chime of the doorbell. Jimin checked his watch, whoever it was was right on the hour. Jimin looked through the peephole, seeing a young woman there, she was very clearly a foreigner, as her skin was dark and her hair was quite kinky, sitting on her shoulders. She looked friendly, at least. He opens the door, peeking out, the first thing she does is smile - she had a very pretty smile - and bow politely. She then spoke in perfect Korean, "Hello, my name is Hazel. Are you Mr. Park Jimin?" Jaemin was suddenly a bit more awake, he stirred in Jimin's arms, he not having had the chance to set him down just yet. "Y-Yes, that's me," why was he stuttering? "Are you here for the job?" She nods, her curls bouncing as she does so. He welcomes her in, watching her grip the strap of her shoulder bag. She had a thin physique, though with more noticeable curves than a Korean girl. It wasn't much like what Jimin had seen in the media, he expected black girls to have lots of curves and a big butt. However, Hazel had curves that weren't as noticeable as those. She hums as she studies the large home, turning back to him. "How many children do you have?" "Two. This is my one year old, Jaemin, I was just setting him down for his morning nap. And my oldest, Minseon, is three. He's in the playroom." Jimin informed. "It means so much that you're doing this. We'll discuss payment later, if you don't mind?" "Right." She smiled, following him as he led her through the house.

#bts ambw #btsff #interracial #btsfanfic #bts #bts fanfic #bts ff #bwam #alternate universe #ambw bwam #pjm fanfic #park jimin ff #park jimin fic #park jimin fanfic #jimin ambw #jimin x oc #jimin fic #jimin ff #jimin fanfic #bts fanfiction #bts fic #bts x oc #single father au

[xxaestheticcatherinexx]

Jimin One Shot: Overworked

Genre: Fluff and Angst

Warnings: Fainting and the flu

Prompt #1: "You've been asleep for two days."

Prompt #4: "Please don't cry, I'm so sorry."

Prompt #47: "I think I'm going to be sick."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You tend to overwork yourself. You don’t mean to, work can just be too much. You always have so much to do and barely time to do it. So, it was no surprise that you didn’t notice that you were starting to get symptoms for the flu. When you finally did notice, you brushed it off and started writing a five-page essay for college English class. You would love to get rest, but your need to get a good grade is greater. 

Jimin was over at your apartment. He noticed how sick you were and how you weren’t taking care of yourself. He tried everything to convince you that you need to rest, but you wouldn’t listen. 

Suddenly, you fainted. 

Jimin rushed over to your side and tried to wake you up, but you wouldn’t.

A cool damp rag was being gently pressed against your forehead as you opened your eyes.

“Hi, baby.” Jimin greets softly. 

“Jimin? What happened?” You ask, confused. 

“You fainted, Y/N. You’ve been asleep for two days.”

Your eyes widen as you realize how much work you have to do. You try to sit up but Jimin gently pushes you back down. 

“Relax, Y/N. I already emailed your teachers. You can rest for a couple of days and make up your work.” Jimin explains.

You sigh and see a distressed look on Jimin’s face. 

“What’s wrong?” 

Tears suddenly welled up in Jimin’s eyes. “You really scared me, Y/N. You wouldn’t wake up and I didn’t know what to do.”

Guilt washes over. “Please don’t cry, I’m so sorry.”

“Just promise me, you will take care of yourself better. If not for you, then for me?” 

You nod. “I promise.”

Jimin smiles and you give a small smile back that quickly left your face. Jimin looks down at you concerned. 

“I think I’m going to be sick.” You say. 

Jimin helps you sit up and brings a bucket close to your face. 

You have no idea what you would do without him. 

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[milkttea]

Damsel, Not in Distress

Jungkook x reader, Spiderman!Jungkook, GN!Reader: one shot

:: warnings: swearing, school

Pain is temporary, GPA is forever — @finah on Twitter

I’m a Damsel with Distress, but I'm pretty fine here.

How you found yourself in the situation you’re currently in, you didn’t entirely know. Was it incredibly weird? Oh definitely. Actually, let’s go to the beginning of your day and see how you found yourself bound with rope and feeling your nihilistic attitude grow so much more.

Now it had been a relatively normal day, at first. You got out of bed a little later than what your alarm had been set to. You’d stayed up the night before to work on an assignment that wasn’t even due until the next week, but you wanted the weekend to be free so that you could relax. Still, you did leave in time to get to school without being late though, which you considered a win considering you really didn't want to be in the building.

When you got to your classes, the students were a little too loud for your sensitive ears and you wanted to just sleep the day away, but just went through the day best you could. The end of the day for you had come around pretty quick, nothing really happened, not that you’d expect anything to, but the events that would lead to you being tied up with rope started with lunch with your friends.

“(Y/n)! Over here!”

You’d been called over to a table where your usual rag tag group of misfits were, but there was an extra guy there. You recognized him as someone you'd talked to a couple times and he was pretty cute, you’d say you had a minor crush on him. His name was Jungkook, really smart guy, super sweet, kind of quiet unless he was with his friends, an all around Nice Guy, but actually a nice guy.

He didn’t look like he could hurt a fly. Oh how wrong you were.

To be honest, seeing him at your table surprised you, he was a mutual friend of yours, but it was weird seeing him in the lunch room. He was more the type to stay away from large groups of people and staying with his friends, only coming in occasionally if they were desperate for food, but you weren’t opposed to him joining the group.

“Oh hey Jungkook, hope I don’t sound like a jerk, but what’re you doin at lunch? You usually don’t come in here.”

It was a genuine question and you hoped you didn’t come off as rude, since you often didn't see him within the general vicinity of the cafeteria, to quote him from a conversation you once had asking about the same general topic: “people are gross and I would rather stub my left pinky toe than step foot in that nasty ass room.”

"Oh— Namjoon, Jin, and Yoongi had some studying to do for their exams since they have them next week, Hobi finished his classes for today and bailed, and Jimin and Tae are hanging with some of their friends in the gym. I didn't feel like tagging along this time, they were really sweaty."

He pushed his hair back as he was talking, what a cutie.

"Damn, well welcome to our little trouble group."

With that all of you ate your lunches with little pieces of banter here and there, nothing really significant to point out. Once lunch ended though, you and Jungkook headed out together since you'd started an interesting conversation about the city's Friendly Neighborhood Spider-man™.

"I don't know man, Spider-man needs a break, poor dude goes out like every day! He gets his ass beat—"

"Wow, rude—"

"He wins! I'm not saying he doesn't win! I'm just saying he gets hurt and probably doesn't have enough time to heal completely before going out the next day to deal with the next day's bullshit!"

Jungkook had to admit, this isn't how he thought the conversation would turn out. It started with you saying how you’d give your left lung to give him a hug and then it diverted into the current topic. The conversation ended once you had gotten to your apartment, and after saying goodbye Jungkook went back to his place. It was near, gotta stay close to the school to save gas money, and he thought a little about what you said. You were right, he didn't get breaks and was rarely healed up enough, even with his super regeneration. It was... nice to see some concern from someone other than Tony.

Deciding to not think too much about it, he put his stuff away and got suited up for his usual patrolling around the city. He also got ready to his favorite person, you. At some point on one of his patrols he wasn’t really paying attention to his surroundings, he was thinking about what he should have for dinner, ramen or do his homework until 2 am, truly an important question to ask himself. Anyway, he had been swinging by the apartments that were nearest the campus and saw your window open with you belting out the lyrics to Chop Suey!

This caused him to stumble and he flew directly into the space right by your open window. This scared you and embarrassed him, he truly never wanted to perish more than in that moment. You, being the nice person you are, asked if he was okay and after hearing confirmation invited him in to your room to have a drink. Was it dangerous of you to do so? Yeah, but at that moment you weren’t exactly thinking too clearly, Spider-man just smacked face first into the bricks of the wall after all.

From that day on, he had visited your apartment and a little friendship had begun to form. Back to the present day, Jungkook just made it to your apartment window when something didn’t seem right. For one, your window was wide open. Now it wouldn’t seem to weird to anyone else, but you only kept yours halfway open and with the big screen over it, this time there was no big screen and it was open all the way. The second thing to tip off that something wasn’t right was that there was no sign of you in your room, but it was like a tornado went through it.

The papers that would usually be on your desk were all over your floor, your water bottle had spilled everywhere, and your backpack looked like it had been thrown across your room with the contents all over the place. You weren’t here, but you had been briefly before you disappeared.

Now he was panicking, as both Spider-man and Jungkook, you were significant to both his hero life and his personal life. Frantically he began turning over stuff in your room trying to find anything that could point to where you could have gone. He then found an envelope, no address, it didn't say your name on it and it wasn't opened. There was something about the envelope that just didn't seem right, so he opened it.

It was written for him, and he took off to the address within it.

You were kidnapped. Because of Spider-man, no, because Jungkook had been around you too often as Spider-man and now you could be in danger or worse, dead.

He'd never swung through the city so fast. At this point he wasn't being careful he was just frantically swinging as fast as he could to the address of a warehouse that was used to house cranes and bulldozers. He arrived and swung into an open window, it led to the top floor where workers could go to fix the roof.

As he landed there he finally let some rational thinking take hold of him and surveyed the area, where were you?

"Karen, could you do a check for heat signatures?"

"Of course, Jungkook."

The eyes in Jungkook's mask had changed the vision from the usual clear view to a heat radar, with it he could see every person and got a scan for them. You weren't there, he looked harder and eventually found a body, tied to the top of a crane, placed over a makeshift kennel, with the roof open, of rabid animals fighting each other. Well this certainly can't be good.

"Karen, that's not a good sign right? Rabid animals attack whatever moves in front of them?"

"That would be a yes, Jungkook."

Immediately he springs into action, webbing together everyone he saw to different areas and wrapping them up in webs. He narrowly missed the shots of guns that were pointed towards him, and stayed high up in the building to make it harder for them to aim at him.

He lands on the crane that you're on, the crane swinging slightly and makes a move to grab you, but the sound of something powering up stops him. There, on the ground with a smirk aimed at Jungkook is a man with a scar that takes up most of his face and a large weapon shaped like a bazooka and with other weapons pointed towards you both.

"Well, if it isn't Spider-man, here to save the damsel in distress?"

You, who had been blindfolded turned your head in the direction of the voice, "I'm not a damsel in distress so shut your trap, you soggy testicle looking ass bitch!"

Jungkook whips his head at you, Karen offhandedly commenting on him getting whiplash, and takes off your blindfold.

"Name calling? At a time like this?"

Blinking at the sudden flooding of light into your oh so sensitive eyes, you see your friend, absolute madd ladd of a companion Spider-man.

"Spider-buddy! Nice to see ya!"

Jungkook could have fallen off the crane had his feet not been stuck on it.

"I– you're tied up right now? How are you so calm?"

Shrugging best you could, you make a face, "can't really do much considering I'm pretty tied up at the moment, pun intended."

Now he had been expecting you to be panicked, terrified, maybe crying? This, though, was definitely nothing like he had anticipated. You always continue to surprise him.

You wiggle a little and wince as your side stung a little. When you were taken from your apartment they hit you in the side and knocked you out. Felt a bit like overkill to you, but you did say some obscene things and threatened their genitals so you found it fair. Jungkook just stares at you, making you just a bit uncomfortable, but he spaces out pretty often so you didn't think too much about it. Ignoring the very possible death that is only about a hundred feet away and the pain in your side and head, you try to start a conversation.

"Sooooo how's it goin?"

Both Jungkook and the dude who kidnapped you look at you incredulously and yell:

"Really?!"

Startled, your body jolts and the ropes binding you slip a little and your body falls just a bit.

"Oh that's probably not good—"

"Are you really asking that now? You– you're tied… to a crane… above rabid animals? Along with multiple weapons pointed at you? You're not even the tiniest bit worried?"

In your mind you’re thinking, ‘why hasn’t he gotten me down yet?’ To be fair to Spider-man, you are placed pretty precariously over rabid animals and have multiple weapons pointed towards you both. Anyway, the words that leave your actual mouth:

"Gotta be honest, my GPA and financial status instill more fear in me than the dude that looks like literal bacon over there."

Your voice got louder towards the last bit of your sentence and both of the men look at you. Jungkook at this point was on the verge of having a heart attack. The other man in the room with you (the only one that isn't tied up) was feeling pretty offended and debating just putting you out of your misery.

You continued speaking.

"I mean, is this ideal? No, but it's something different and I can't exactly free myself, y'know no powers or anything like that, so I guess I'm just here. Oh and uh Spider-buddy? My ropes are kind of slipping by the way, so if you could pretty please with a big fat cherry on top pick your dick up and help a friend out that'd be great."

Jungkook, finally snapping out of his stupor, just noticed that your ropes were in fact slipping and grabbed your torso, untying you and swinging you both away as the villain below began shooting, narrowly missing each fire.

"'Pick your dick up,' really?"

You put your face into his neck, telling him to shut up.

Before Jungkook left with you he told Karen to call the police and to arrest the people in the warehouse. He places your body on the top floor, where he came in through a window, and went back down to the villain to web him up. This time, he was not as good at avoiding the weapons firing at him while he goes around him firing his spider webs. By this time the people who had been webbed up were freed by their comrades with knives. He gets hit in the side by a bullet and falters in the air while he grips his left side, well this isn’t good.

"So I didn't get to ask this before, but why did you take this school suffering student?"

The villain just looks at Jungkook's mask, where the eyes are.

"Well to hurt you of course, being close to others only makes it easier for people like me to hurt you. Be grateful I didn't do anything too bad. I may be a villain, but I’m not a monster."

Jungkook stills, did you end up getting hurt? He didn’t recall Karen mentioning anything about you being injured. Then again he was too worried about you to think clearly. His thoughts slowly began taking over his mind and during this the man in front of him pulled a knife and slashed it at his face. That action startles Jungkook, the knife cutting through his suit and marking his face.

He knocked the man out and went back to you as he stumbled, hearing the police with his super hearing and swings away with you held close to him. Finally your both back at your apartment, and go into your room where you see how much of a mess it is.

"Ugh this is gonna be a pain to clean up, sorry about the mess."

Jungkook, kind of upset with how nonchalant you've been, rips off his mask so fast your mind begins reeling and just starts to shout at you.

"What the fuck are you talking about?! You got kidnapped, because of me! I could care less about how your room looks like right now, how are you so calm? You could have been hurt or been killed and your saying sorry for your room? I could have lost you today, (y/n)! What if I hadn’t visited you today and because of that you died? This is serious!”

He finishes his shouting, panting heavily while you just stare at him. It’s Jungkook. Jungkook is Spider-man and has been visiting you for months. Once it finally dawns on you that his mask is now off and his face is showing, you run to your window closing and shutting the blinds. As well as locking your bedroom door after quickly checking to see if your roommate is home.

Thankfully they aren't, most likely spending the night at their girlfriend's place. Bless them and their relationship.

"Okay, you can be mad at me for being all nonchalant, but you've been hiding this! You're Spider-man, you're constantly in danger and you're getting mad at me?! Jeon Jungkook you could have died on any of the patrols you do and I wouldn’t know what happened to you, none of us would know!"

Jungkook, realizing he took off his mask in a short fit of anger, steps back a little. Both of you are breathing slightly heavy, taking a pause to think over all the events that had just happened in a short time. The one to make the first move is Jungkook who just grabs you and hugs you tightly to his chest.

Not expecting it, you awkwardly place one arm around his shoulders and the other around his waist. Closing your eyes and just rubbing his shoulders blades to help calm him down, he was shaking ever so slightly in your grasp.

“Jungkook, not to ruin the mood, but did you get hurt? I know that sounds dumb because you have a cut on your face, but I’m just asking to be sure you’re not hurt anywhere else.”

His shoulders tense under your hand.

“And don’t lie to me, I can feel the wound on your left side and it’s kind of grossing me out right now.”

He let's go of you and sits down on your desk chair, his head was down and he looked a little dazed. You left your room briefly to get a towel, a bowl of water, your first aid kit and a glass of water for Jungkook.

"Here, I'd say drinking some water is good right now."

He leans his body back in the chair, wincing at the ache in his side, and looks at you.

"What about you? How are you feeling?"

You were getting the hydrogen peroxide and a gauze pad from your kit when you stopped. Your head had a dull ache, but you didn't think much of it. You were coherent, able to form sentences and move freely, so technically you were fine. The chances of you having a concussion though? More likely than you think, but you’ll get it checked out when your done with Jungkook. The ache in your side though, that needed some ice.

"For the most part… good? I got hit in the head so I'll need to get that checked out later, and I have ice so I can slap that on my side."

He lets out a loud sigh, bordering on groaning.

“Please take care of yourself, I’d rather not hear that you died from getting a concussion.”

You let air out through your nose in a silent laugh, which was so inappropriate it's not funny you're just uncomfortable. Spraying some of the hydrogen peroxide on Jungkook’s face causes him to wince as the solution fizzes, you walk around your room tidying up a little bit against your own better judgement. You should probably be laying down or calling an ambulance, but with Wonder Boy here you feel guilty just leaving him.

Also if your friend decided to come home early and just walk right into your room it’d be damn near impossible to explain why he was there in the first place.

“Turn your head to me,” you wipe the solution from his face with the gauze, “you’re lucky that the cut isn’t too deep, it doesn’t look like you’ll need stitches.”

He lets out a puff of air causing you to scrunch your face.

“That is some musty ass breath, Kook.”

He laughs, which makes him wince as he grabs at his side. Immediately, you move his hand to look at his side.

“Alrighty so I’m gonna need you to turn yourself so I can look at both sides, if the bullet is still there it shouldn’t bother you, but if not then that’s where the problem is.”

It seemed luck had finally been on both of your sides, there was no exit wound and he wasn’t coughing up any coffee grounds looking substance so there was no internal bleeding. All pretty good, just gonna need to clean the wound which would be a bitch and a half, but better than getting an infection.

Telling Jungkook this was not fun, going through with it was worse. He immediately went to bed in your clean, nicely made— just kidding your bed was a mess. You made him take off his suit and gave him some sweatpants that were big on you, and a giant shirt that you had. You really liked oversized clothes, so what?

With the shower he took, the bandages on his side and face, and the medicine you gave him for pain the minute his head touched your pillow he fell asleep. In the meantime, you picked up the things in your room that didn’t make much noise.

Eventually you went to bed on the couch in the living room, a little uncomfortable but you refused to sleep in the same bed with Jungkook. He had other plans though, he had sensitive ears and could hear you tossing and turning in your sleep. He left your room and went to the couch where he picked you up and brought you to your bed and laid there with you.

Arm draped around your form, you both slept soundly after such a stressful day. Truthfully, you were the “Damsel in Distress,” but if your hero was Spider-Man, and Jeon Jungkook, you didn’t mind.

#spiderman jungkook #jungkook x reader #bts jungkook #bts jk

[kookieskiwi]

Badboy!au with the quote "Yeah, well i shut everyone out. Don't take it personally." with a bit of angst pwease 🥺🥺 but a lot of fluff hihi i'm sorry i asked for a lot 🥺🥺🥺 i wub u ✨

(I love it when people ask for a lot because it gives me more to go off of ❤️ and I wuv you too!!) (I changed the I to we since I write poly stuff and no member was specified )

-

You had one of the most amazing personalities anyone had ever seen. You were always caring, you put others before yourself and you gave second chances to everyone; even those that didn’t deserve it. That character trait of yours always got you into situations that had you blaming yourself for stupidity and too much kindness. Prehaps it wasn’t stupidity but it was the fact you saw the good in everyone rather than focusing on their personas and negative traits.

Some people called you näive, others called you gullible, you’d been called just about everything since you began high school. It was normal; there would be people who hated you, loved you and those that took advantage of you. You were accepting to everyone, you helped tutor those who needed it and you gave up your free time and time to do your own work in order to guide those who asked for help through the phone in order to be discreet.

It wasn’t until you met the Bangtan boys that you realized just how much people relied on you for help. They first came to you a year ago when finals begun to ask for help which basically involved you suming up an entire years worth of material in a week. It wasn’t easy since you had your own to study for at the same time but it also counted as a review guide for yourself. Since then they’ve come to you in secret or you’d go over to their shared house to help one or all of them review a topic.

Over the past few months you and the infamous bad boys had grown close meaning what had previously been school related meetings became a friendship with meet-ups that didn’t involve school at all. They became some of the closest friends you had in a long time giving you a sense of connection you didn’t know you needed.

That was however until you overheard one of their conversations as you were on your way to your vehicle. “She’s too close, we let her in and allowed this to go on for too long.” It was Namjoon speaking as he informed the others of their mistake. “But hyung, she hasn’t done anything to make us question her intentions,” Jungkook defended you in your absence which you were grateful for. It physically pained you to hear what they were thinking of you. It was one of those moments where you could actually feel your heart tearing apart as tears welled in your eyes. “Exactly and we aren’t sticking around to find out what they are.” Yoongi chimed in with Namjoon, defending the man who wanted you out of the picture.

You stood there leaning lifelessly against the wall contemplating whether or not to make a run for your vehicle. That option seemed like the best one to choose until you were too late. Apparently they had finished up their conversation and were exiting the classroom only to be met with you; the person who had shown them nothing but compassion and helped them. The soul who was once positive now felt that fullest depth of betrayal you had ever felt before.

“Y/n-“

“No.” You snapped as you returned from your lifeless state to look through blurry eyes at the men who stood before you. “I will not let myself be spoken about behind my back by people who I’ve shown nothing but kindness towards. I have no ill intentions with anyone of you unless wanting to be friends is such a terrible thing. I’ve done NOTHING but be help you when you needed it, not to mention I was the only one who took you all seriously because of the face you put up. So no. Don’t explain because I heard everything you had to say.” You told them trying to hold your composure together until you got home. You would not show weakness now more than ever, sure the tears showed it pretty well but you wanted to scream and yell at their ignorance.

Without another word you walked out of the hallway and entered your car followed by a slam of the door shut before you exited the campus. On the way to the condo which your guardians bought so you had a safe place to stay while getting an education, you broke down completely. It hurt more than you thought it would, of course you were stupid to catch a slight case of feelings for seven different guys who happened to be dating each other (a secret you came you find out when you got closer to them, they made sure no one on the outside knew) but that didn’t stop your battered heart from skipping a beat every time they smiled or laughed.

When you did arrive home you went to unlock the door with shaky hands and after multiple times of missing the keyhole you finally unlocked it. Dropping your bags you shut and locked the door behind you, taking a second before sliding down it in utter distress.

-

The next day you skipped classes all together; something you rarely did unless you were ill even then, that was only because you didn’t want to get anyone else sick. You had a headache from crying all night, your nose was stuffy, eyes puffy and red and to sum it all up: you felt like shit.

You spent the day moping around at the loss of a friendship. When classes let out you weren’t expecting anything from the boys however you received a text message stating one simple thing.

Taehyungie: Come over please.

There were no emojis, no use of a nickname....nothing, which must’ve meant this was important. So, against your minds wishes your heart dragged you to their home with heavy feet. You looked horrible and felt it too, but here you were yet again, putting others before yourself.

You didn’t even have to knock before the door was flying open followed by both Jimin and Jungkook hugging you tightly as you just stood there too tired mentally to do anything back. You were confused and they could tell so they backed off allowing you inside. You were guided to the couch where you sat hugging the arm trying to be as far away from any of them.

“Y/n, please let us explain.” Jin began hoping for you to look up at any of them but you kept your tired eyes locked on the empty space in front of you. “We have a reputation we must keep up, we can’t seem weak or things will be different for all of us.” Hoseok stated in an easy tone trying to stay calm even though he had the urge to run up to you and hug you. “Letting people in isn’t weak, it’s called being human.” You argued in a monotone still not looking anyone in the eyes.

“Yeah, well we shut everyone out. Don’t take it personally.” Yoongi spoke defensively making you absentmindedly flinch at the harsh tone in his voice. “How am I not supposed to take it personally!? You have no reason to shut me out and I’ve given you every reason to let me in!” You begun standing up and finally looking at the men who wore shocked expressions at your tone. “I don’t know what any of you have been through but I promise you this isn’t the way to live your lives. Let me in, let me show you not everyone has bad intentions with you. Let ME be the one to change your mindset. Because damnit I’m tired of being thrown out when I do nothing but help.” Your voice wavered at the end of your sentence making you curse yourself.

“Let me in because I’ve shown everything I am to you.” You whispered as a single tear rolled down your cheek but you were quick to swipe it away. “Let me in because I love you all.”

“You what-“ Jimin gasped standing up in surprise as did the others. “I know- I know it’s stupid and you’ll probably think it’s a schoolgirl crush, b-but over the past few months when I’ve gotten to know you for you and not the bad boys everyone else knows you as...I fell. Fast and hard. Which is why I’ve been so upset over what you said because I KNOW you will be fine without me, I KNOW you can move on and shut people out like you do but I don’t want to be shut out like everyone else.” You explained giving up at wiping the tears which just kept falling at this point. It was hard admitting your feelings especially at this time but this was either the making or breaking point if everything so why not?

“If it wasn’t for you, we’d be so lost right now y/n.” Namjoon begun taking one step towards you as you remained still. “We’ve all been thinking about you a lot lately.” Yoongi stated from beside you where you didn’t know he was until then. “You are a wonderful person, never forget that.” Taehyung said making you think this was goodbye. “You deserve someone who values you.” Jin whispered softly behind you as more tears filled your eyes. This couldn’t be it, not goodbye. “Someone who will kiss away all of your pain and scars.” Jungkook said stepping forward as well. “You know the hardest part about finding someone you love but being apart even though you have six others? It’s the endless nights awake knowing that the missing piece that completes us is right in front of us but we are too afraid to take that leap of faith fearing that we’ll be rejected.” Jimin stated grasping onto Yoongi’s hand to squeeze it. “Y/n, we’ve made a complete fool of ourselves that past day because we aren’t the people who we want to be. We are so sorry little one, so sorry and no amount of verbal apologies will show it until our actions change.” Hoseok said motioning to the other men who were gazing at you with something you couldn’t identify.

Your mind was going a million miles an hour at this point. Why where they saying this? Surely they couldn’t mean you...could they?

“You deserve someone who will treat you with the most respect, give you all the love and happiness you deserve and protect your kind heart. If you’ll let us, we’d like to be those men.” Taehyung said grabbing your hands which had been fiddling with the hem of your sweater. You looked at them with the most innocent, pure eyes they had ever seen, you were in total shock at what they had asked. When it sunk it you chocked on a sob. This wasn’t goodbye, it wouldn’t be the end.

“Yes, yes, a thousand times yes.” You said in a mix of laughter and sobs before running into Taehyung’s chest to wrap your arms around him tightly. The others followed your suit as you all began to express the feelings you had kept up for so long.

-

“‘Us’ I like the sound of that, don’t you?” You said as you laid cuddled into Yoongi’s chest while everyone was spread amongst the couches. You weren’t aware of what had slipped off your tongue until Yoongi was putting his hand over his heart saying ‘Ahh too cute’ while squeezing his eyes closed.

“I love the sound of us.”

-

As always..any further ideas or chapters you want from a Drabble can be requested and I’ll more than happily do them! Part 2 or another Drabble with a quote relating to this one if requested!! With bunches of love -Kiwi (KookiesKiwi)

#bangtan #bts au #bts fluff #bts imagines #bts angst #thank you anon #anon #anon ask #anonymous #anon request #anons wanted #soft drabble #drabble requests #drabble #badboy #badboy!au

[ee-laugh]

𝐸𝐶𝐶𝐸𝑁𝑇𝑅𝐼𝐶 | 𝑃𝐽𝑀

cr to the owner

Cʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀ ᴇʟᴇᴠᴇɴ : Tᴇᴀ

Cʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀ ᴛᴇɴ

"But jimin.."

You clenched your teeth, dragging the 'n' sound more than needed.

He sighed.

"We've been through this y/n. I'm not coming."

He shrugged the blazer on, adjusting the lapels on it.

"But she invited the both of us."

You tried your softest puppy eyes but he just chuckled; shaking his head.

"I'd love to, but I can't. It's a very important meeting baby."

"I knowww.. but-"

"Ahh stop whining and help me put this tie on."

You groaned, making your way in front of him. You didn't look into his eyes, not even for one bit, making him roll his eyes.

"Seriously?"

You nodded, tying the knot a little tighter on purpose.

"Yeah. It'll be so awkward without you. I mean, what am I supposed to do?"

He smiled, wrapping his arms around you.

"Watch them do couple-y shit and sulk. What else?"

You pouted.

"I'll get bored."

He hummed, trying to think of something.

"Ahh.." his face lit up. "How about taehyung?"

You quirked your eyebrow; unamused.

"What about taehyung?"

Jimin smirked.

"He could accompany you while I'm away."

"But-"

"Sshhh.." he put his forefinger on your lips, causing you to shut it.

"Sit."

You sat on the mattress, followed by your husband who sat on the floor; just between your legs.

"Look. Baby, I don't want this either." He traced his thumb on the back of your hand. "I don't wanna disappear like this. But you have to understand that my job requires me to be there. Can you do that?"

You sighed, nodding.

"I understand jimin. You should go."

"No hard feelings?"

You widened your eyes when he put out his short pinky for you.

"Never." You intertwined your longer pinky with his, giggling at how childlike he seemed even in a suit and tie.

"I'll be going then." He leaned in to place a soft kiss on your lips, leaving you breathless.

"Fuck. Please don'tttt." You encircled your arms around his neck.

He grinned.

"I'll be back before you know it."

—

Taehyung pulled out a chair for you, all the while running his fingers through his growing perms. You looked up at him to say thank you, but he wasn't looking back; a look of distress visible in his eyes.

You sat down nonetheless, your attention drifting towards the couple sitting just across you two.

"Joonie, this is my dearest friend in the world, y/n." Nayeon said, gesturing towards an awkward you.

Namjoon took a quick look at your face; nodding.

"Ahhh.. nice to meet you." He extended his hand towards you.

You cluelessly stared at it for a while; you observed his fingers were long and veiny, and a pair of silver rings adorned them.

"Nice to meet you too."

His hand felt cold against yours, probably by holding the cup of iced tea he was having.

"I've heard a lot about you..Y/N-ssi." His voice was deep; an air of intimidation surrounded him.

You didn't know why, but you got goose bumps hearing it.

"I hope they're good things." You tried to smile.

He nodded slowly, taking a sip of his tea.

"You're jimin's wife, right? Park Jimin's?"

Your eyes widened.

"Wait, you know him?"

Namjoon scoffed, placing his cup on the table.

"Know? He was my buddy for 4 years. We graduated high school together."

Your jaw dropped.

"Well.. t-that's cool."

He quirked his eyebrow.

"Why, you didn't know?"

"Ahh.. he-he never mentioned—"

"Maybe 'cause that bastard slept with my girlfriend—"

Nayeon pressed her fingers into his bicep.

He stopped.

Your ears turned a deep red as you tried to make sense of his words. Did he just say that out loud?

Meanwhile, taehyung eyed your side profile cautiously; like you were about to detonate.

His hand extended out to press into your shoulder.

"Y/n.."

"Don't." You jerked it away, getting up from your chair.

You stared at the couple. Namjoon was breathing heavily; his gaze fixed on the table, while nayeon patted his back slowly; her eyes shifting between you two.

"Y/n.." she croaked out; her worried gaze burning holes into you. You stormed out.

—

Taehyung walked out of the kitchen with a bowl of soup in his hands. He seated himself beside you on the couch, nudging your shoulder.

"Y/n, here.. have some soup."

You looked up, eyes shot red with all the weeping. He gasped out.

"Why are you crying?"

He placed the bowl on the side table to wipe your swollen eyes with his sweater paw. You hiccuped.

"Aahhh.. you’ve got snot all over your mouth." He scrunched his nose, bringing a tissue to wipe it away too. He made you snort in the handkerchief.

You groaned. "That feels much better, thanks."

"Now tell me." He said, extending the spoon brimming with soup towards your mouth. "Why were you crying."

You frowned, taking the spoon in your mouth.

"Like you don't know."

He nodded.

"I do know. But it's meaningless to cry over something that happened years ago. Here.." He fed you some more soup.

"But.. it was namjoon's girlfriend y'know? He must like her a lot to do something like that." You gulped down the soup.

"See.. now you're just overanalysing everything. It could've been a drunken mistake. I've had my fair share of mistakes." Taehyung shrugged, emptying another spoon in your mouth.

"Mhm..I don't know taehyung. We share everything. And he-he never mentioned namjoon.. like e-ever." A glistened tear rolled your cheek.

"Ah come here." Taehyung said, enclosing his arms around you. You sobbed with your head on his shoulder.

"You're overreacting. Jimin would never do something like that to you. Do you trust him?"

You silently nodded. He kept patting your back in a regular motion, causing a yawn to leave your mouth.

"Now finish the rest of the soup."

When you didn't respond, taehyung retracted his head to find you dozing off on his shoulder.

"Ahh jinja.."

He made you lay on the couch, pulling the cozy blanket all over you. His shoulder was wet with your tears and snot, which he wiped away while scrunching his nose. But he couldn't help a giggle to leave his mouth.

"You're really something, huh?" He looked down at you peacefully sleeping on the couch. Your eyes were shut closed, mouth slightly parted as you inhaled and exhaled. He very gently removed the stray hair from your face; an unfamiliar feeling bubbling inside him.

He leaned in to touch his lips against yours; your lips were like a soft feather.

"That jerk doesn't deserve you.. baby."

-——————————————————————

Taglist: @jwlmnbt @hoodmeup @yeontanie21 @safi4x @fadingprunebagelfestival

#jimin #jimin smut #jimin angst #jimin fluff #bts angst #jimin imagine #jimin fanfic #jimin au #jimin imagines #eccentric #bts jimin #bts fanfic #jimin x reader #bts smut #taehyung smut #taehyung x reader #taehyung angst #jimin husband #husband! jimin #vmin au #namjoon au #namjoon imagine #jimin scenario #eccentric jimin fanfic

[bittersweetsongbirdsworld]

Yoongi has a strict morning routine that he doesn't prefer to stray far from. It's a simple few things really: Get up fifteen minutes before he has to be at the academy, make coffee, shower, put said coffee into a thermostat before running out of his penthouse because he didn't realize that the school was a few block away. Still, he stuck to that routine like his life depended on it. He'd honestly give up his soul to the devil to keep his routine look like that for the rest of his life.

Well, today wasn't like his normal routine. When the smell of burning pancakes and coffee seeped into Yoongi's room, he found himself throwing his blankets off and dashing to the kitchen to see what was going on. He honestly thought a kishin broke into his penthouse and attempted to burn his place of living down by making pancakes. Hell, he didn't even know how to soul bond with Jimin yet, so he was completely defenseless.

When he turned the corner though, he came face to face with a teary eyed Jimin, a burning pan in the boy's trembling hands. If Yoongi wasn't frantic at the moment, he would be scolded Jimin for doing something so reckless so early in the morning. But there he found himself, grabbing the rather hot handle of the pan, tossing the burning cooking utensils into the sink before he cranked the handles. He hissed at the pain in his hand. He hissed about the now ruined pan. He hissed about being woken up so goddamn early in the morning. He was just about to curse about having a clueless roommate, but when he heard a choked sob tremble from Jimin's pouty lips, Yoongi bit back the words.

Jimin was standing in the middle of the kitchen, his hands shaking terribly as he blinked back his tears, his lower lip wobbling uncontrollably from the sobs that threaten to bubble out. His pink hair was a disaster, his bed head clearly not tamed from his deep slumber he forced himself out of. He has gotten up so early to surprise Yoongi with breakfast, but even he couldn't make a breakfast satisfying enough to make Yoongi's mouth water. Who's mouth would water though? The only thing Yoongi could smell was burning pancakes and freshly made coffee.

Breathing out through his nose, Yoongi closed his eyes and thought. He pinched the bridge of his nose, the throbbing pain in his hand forgotten as he listened to Jimin sniffle quietly. He needed time to think, needed to he somewhere quiet and Jimin was doing a pretty good job staying quiet. He had to give Jimin that though because Jimin was known for being the life of the party and that was the only thing Yoongi feared.

He was thinking deeply now. Jimin had gotten up at the ass crack of dawn, pink hair looking as if someone had taken their hand through it and ruffled the pink locks till his hair looked like a puff of cotton candy. He had red stains on his cheeks, showing that he had been crying moments prior to him entering the room. He looked so distressed that Yoongi honestly couldn't be mad even if he tried. Jimin was trying to give Yoongi a good impression when he really didn't need to. Now Yoongi started to feel bad for him.

"Park Jimin." Yoongi watched as all the muscles in Jimin's body tensed up. "I'm not mad, I'm just surprised that you managed to set the whole pan aflame in just a few minutes." A small smile broke out on the boy's lips, his body visibly relaxing as he let out a embarrased chuckle. He scratched the back of his neck, his cheeks tinted a sweet pink as he chuckled quietly to himself. He was relaxed and he didn't look hysterically anymore to much of Yoongi's relief. He really didn't want to deal with Jimin crying so early in the morning, let alone him being the cause of his tears.

"I'm sorry, Yoongi hyung. I was trying to make you breakfast, but I guess things just got out of hand and I didn't want to wake you so early." Yoongi glanced over at the clock.

5:37 a.m.

Yoongi isn't surprised.

"Go sit down, let hyung make breakfast," Yoongi huffed as he shooed Jimin out of the messy kitchen, the boy giggling as he grabbed a towel and his nicely folded to clothes. "Take your shower, I'll show you how to make a proper breakfast." With a shy smile and a nod of his head, Jimin chuckled again.

"Thank you, Yoongi hyung."

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

A sound soul

Dwells within a sound mind

And a sound body

.

. .

. . .

The DWMA is was widely know around the world, even in Korea. Every child wanted to be either a weapon or a meister, but only a select few were blessed with such a golden opportunity. These students were admitted into the DWMA as soon as they could walk and talk, many of them not showing any signs of weapon form till years on. Yoongi was a meister, a scythe mister to be exact. How is he going to feel when he finds out there is only one in the school and the kid just so happens to be fucking annoying?

🖤 5/?

#yoonmin au #namjin #taekook #jung hoseok #original character #soul eater related #soul eater au #soul eater #blood #violence #yoonmin #heavy angst #a lot of angst #bts angst #sad boi hours #mostly sad shit #sad shit