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#i’m so mad the site i usually use isn’t working for me for some reason rn
rainbowinbeigeboots · 2 months
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do you ever just cry while thinking about how tender creature is with lisa or are you normal?
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pitaparka · 3 years
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when you sleep with him for the first time headcanons
note—it gets a little suggestive during oberyn's part, but nothing too crazy. i use sleep here in it's purest form by the way, so enjoy! let me know if you have any ideas for the next one! me and the boys are open to suggestions ;)
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MANDO
- mando has always allowed you his bunk to sleep, whenever you like
- when you stayed with him on the razor crest and watched the kid, he was always more than willing to give it up anytime you needed sleep
- he didn't sleep much anyway, and usually your sleeping schedules didn't overlap
- but boba fett's ship doesn't have much space to begin with, let alone enough space for all of the crew mates he's happened to find recently
- which mean's you and mando, having already been living together and already know each other, were sleeping together, in the same small bunk, at the same time
- he offered to sleep on the floor, or pressed up against the wall
- but you got mad at him for even suggesting such a thing
- there was more than enough space for the two of you to sleep, you argued, though there was barely enough room for one
- it was comical, trying to press up against him, and find a spot comfortable enough for the both of you to lay
- it was jarring to you when he removed a single pauldron for you to rest your head on his clothed shoulder
- you felt like you had violated him in some way, seeing him just the lightest bit more bare than usual
- though you were slightly uncomfortable from the rest of the beskar pressing up into your body, you were lulled to sleep in minutes from the sound of his steady heartbeat
EZRA
- the cots had never been a long term solution
- that you knew
- so when the morning comes around, and your cot drops your ass on the floor, you wish you gotten new sleeping arrangements the last time you were in town
- you were just wishing it had taken longer for them to fall apart the way they had
- there wasn't much on the green, in terms of furnishing markets
- the cots had been the only barrier between you and the floor, and now, there was nothing protecting you from the frigid, uninsulated ground of your broken down ship
- it was ezra who offered up the idea: put one blanket down on the floor, and use the other one to cover the both of you with
- you took a second to ponder it, thinking of any idea, any reason that could be used to save you from having to sleep next to ezra, the man who had been so warm and kind to you, but you had frozen him out, because of your ridiculous crush on him
- you offered up the idea of just disassembling the cots and using the cloths as protection from the cold
- but this wiseass pulls out the cloth from the cot and his blanket and compares the two, and there's no way the cloth is going to have any integrity making contact with the ground
- so you agree, and when nightfall comes, you're too exhausted from harvesting all day to fight with him
- he puts his blanket down as protection, and you all but collapse on top of in
- ezra does you the service of tucking you in, before climbing in next to you, and you're soothed by his warmth
- not soothed enough that you fall asleep immediately, still unnerved by the idea of sleeping so close to him, hearing him breathe, feeling him move
- but he throws his good arm over your body and pulls you into him, muttering something about the cold
- and your heart melts just a little bit as you fall asleep, pressed up against his chest
FRANKIE
- frankie had been upset for weeks after his divorce, which was to be expected
- but everything had been so stressful on him, and you were getting worried for his mental health
- he hadn't been answering calls, he'd cancelled plans with you last minute, which is something he never did, and he hadn't been doing anything for himself, just living in a rut of paperwork, sleeping, eating, and going to work
- so when he calls you up to ask you to go camping with him, you obviously say yes
- it's almost a two hour drive to the campsite, and frankie is fairly quite, which isn't usual, but you get some good music going and some good conversation going, and soon enough, you and frankie are laughing and singing your heads off on your way there
- it's getting dark when you arrive, and you make quick work of getting everything out of his car when he realizes something is off
- "oh no" he exclaims, and you fear the worst
- "what? what's wrong?"
- "I brought the small tent."
- "how small is the small tent?"
- "i brought the four-person tent, not the ten person tent."
- "are you kidding frankie? i'm sure we'll fit in a four-person—“
- "i'm telling you, it's not as big as you think it is, trust me."
- when the tent is complete, four-person is an exaggeration
- it's a four-person tent if the four-people were sardine packed and the size of children
- it's going to be just enough room for both you and frankie to lie down in with your sleeping bags
- but that's for a later time, because frankie has marshmallows to roast and lots of things to tell you after he's been ignoring you for a whole week
- he apologizes and you sit next to him at the firepit on your site, and you listen to him talk, and give him advice, and rest your head on his shoulder
- and when it's late into the night and you two go to retreat to bed, you have to squish up against his broad shoulders that seem so much broader in the small tent
- and when he wakes with nightmares of his fighting buddies and far too many sleepless nights, he pulls you close to him, and falls asleep again, until the sunlight streams through the front flap of the tent far too early in the morning
WHISKEY
- that day’s mission was harsh
- it had you spent, not only physically, but mentally as well
- as you lie awake in your bed, you realize you’re not getting to sleep tonight, whether or not you had another important mission that morning
- the hotel bed was creaky and entirely not your bed from home and the air conditioner was broken so it was freezing
- you figure there’s no better time than the present, and you’re well aware whiskey is right next door
- if he’s awake, you’ll ask him to have a drink with you, and if he’s asleep, you can just hop into bed with him
- he’s a deep sleeper anyway
- you’re careful turning the knob into his room, just in case he’s asleep, and you spot him in his bed, on his side, breathing softly, room cloaked in darkness
- you come around on his side of the bed and you whisper his name
- he stirs a little
- you debate going back to your room and just toughing it out, but he doesn’t give you the chance
- he’s up, groggy and hair tousled and in just a plain t-shirt
- “sweetheart? what are you doin’ here? what’s goin’ on?”
- you tell him you didn’t want to sleep alone tonight, and he wipes the sleep from his eyes and squints at you, using only the moonlight to help him see
- “what kind of gentleman would i be if i refused you my bed?”
- this makes you smile, and he lifts the covers for you to get in with him
- you plant your head on his shoulder and drape an arm over his chest, cozying up to him as close as possible
- his hand rests comfortably on your back, and he breathes rhythmically
- and you’re silently grateful he doesn’t ask questions, just lets you curl up into his side ands lets you fall asleep with him there
JAVIER PEÑA
- it happened in a flurry of passion and kisses, hands roaming his body and yours after a far too close dance with death
- if it had not been for his bulletproof vest, he'd be lying in a hospital or a morgue
- but he wasn't
- his body was warm and so was yours and the ride to his apartment was far too quiet for your liking and his
- it was only appropriate you accompanied him for a drink after such a great victory for the DEA, but it had taken a toll on both of you, mentally
- you more so than him, which is why you ended up drinking much more than you normally would have when you drank with javi
- he tried to laugh away the stress, complaining about his sore and bruised ribs, but the room was still tense
- emotions ran rampant through your body, and when he brings it up, tears start to pool in your eyes at the thought seeing him for the last time, in a suit, at his own funeral he wouldn't attend if he had the choice
- he sets his drink down and pulls you into his arms, holding your waist and cupping the back of your neck, stroking behind your ear as he listens to you cry softly in his shoulder
- he reassures you he's fine, nothing happened to him, and you pull away from him, grab his face, and stare into his eyes
- he smiles kindly at your own red ringed eyes, irritated from crying, as you try to memorize each streak of brown in his own
- it's too much for the both of you, and you pull him into a kiss
- his mouth is surprisingly soft compared to your own drunk passion, and as much as he'd love to take you right then and there on his couch, he knows he'd regret it if you woke up the next morning and regretted it too
- so he entertains the kiss, not that he minds, and leads you to his bedroom
- where the silk sheets and heavy comforter that smell so strongly of javier peña pull you to sleep next to him, faster than you'd like to admit
MARCUS MORENO
- missy and your daughter had always gotten along very well
- you were very familiar with marcus, and could even call yourselves friends to an extent
- your daughters were very intelligent little girls, and knew that if they got the two of you talking when you came to pick your daughter from his house, they would have at least another hour to play while you two chatted endlessly about boring adult things
- for missy's birthday party, she had wanted all of her friends over for a huge sleepover, and of course her father caved
- he couldn't say no to her no matter how much he tried
- marcus, the genius he was, figured that if the kids were all under one roof having fun, why not let the adults have fun too?
- everyone was invited
- the kids would have lots of different fun activities to choose from, from swimming, to games in the backyard, and a movie night under the stars outside
- and the adults were welcome to stay, chat, drink, and play adult card games marcus had saved for special occasions
- the night of the sleepover, a dozen children and adults were packed into his backyard, watching some new movie he had rented the missy was excited about
- but it was freezing, and you hadn't expected to be outside for so long
- marcus realizes this and he leans over quietly, so not to disturb the movie
- "are you cold?"
- "oh! no, it's okay, i'll be fine—“ you try to excuse yourself, but he gets up without a word, and returns with a sweatshirt of his
- it fits snugly over your head, and completely eliminated the chill in your bones
- it doesn't take long for your eyes to start getting heavy, and soon enough, you're passed out on marcus' shoulder
- "what if we camp out here for the night?" he suggests, and the kids are more than excited
- the adults know what he's up to
- but they let him anyway
- it'll be great to tease him about later, and besides, you guys are adorable together
MARCUS PIKE
- working together with marcus was always a joy
- he was always very respectful and funny
- you knew he had his heart broken more than once in the past, so even though you dropped hints that you'd want something more with marcus, you let him take it at his own pace
- when you dropped by his place that night, with important new documents you had received right before you left work and chinese food, you're ecstatic when he lets you in
- you spend hours pouring over the documents, making sure every single detail was covered and examined, when you realize how tired you are, and how loud the rain is coming down outside his window
- "it's getting really late. i should leave," you say, but marcus stops you
- "you could always, y'know, stay the night if you wanted. i'd let you have my bed."
- you smiled at him, but politely decline, as you wouldn't want to kick him out of his bed, but you yawn again
- "look, you're exhausted, and it's pouring" he points out, "you know most accidents happen by people falling asleep behind the wheel when it's raining?"
- you laugh at him
- "you just made that up,"
- "i did, but you should stay. if you don't want to i totally understand, but you'd be missing out. my bed is really comfortable."
- "is that why you're always late to work?" you quip, and close the files
- he gasps in mock shock
- "that was one time, and my alarm didn't go off," he claims, smiling at you
- he lends you a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt and you pretend to not see a slight blush on his face when you walk out into his bedroom with them on
- marcus was right when he said his bed was really comfortable
- somehow, in the middle of the night, you two find each other, his face pressed into your shoulder, your arms wrapped around him, and the rain comes down even harder
MAX PHILLIPS
- "i just need some space from him, is all."
- that's all you had to tell him for max phillips to be on your side, rubbing your shoulder and telling you that all men suck anyway, you didn't need that jerk of a boyfriend to be happy
- well, now ex-boyfriend
- of course he had ulterior motives, and you knew this, but you didn’t care
- your heart wanted someone to watch movies with and eat a pint of ice cream out of the tub with you, and if max was the one who would do that, you’d settle with him for the night
- the way he pulled you into his arms, and pressed his body up against yours, was more than comforting
- he made funny jokes, tried tickling you, anything he could think of to get you to smile for him
- and for the most part, you did
- you were sick of your ex bringing the mood down the way he did, no matter how much you missed him
- the movie has gotten boring a long time ago, but you listened to max’s breathing, and felt his chest rise and fall behind you, and it was enough to lull you to sleep
- and he would’ve woken you up, to take you to his bed, but he was scared you’d leave to go home if he did
- so he took his couch throw, pulled it over the two of you, turned off the television, and settled back as you got comfortable on his chest
- this was a side of max phillips you’d never seen before, and you didn’t expect to see any time soon
- so you relished in it, and let sleep pull you in
MAXWELL LORD
- his head aches, and his eye is still bleeding on the plane back to washington d.c.
- the ride back is silent, save for the rumbling of the engine
- he rests his head against the wall of the airplane for most of the ride there, and you take comfort in knowing while he’s asleep, he’s not in pain
- when he starts getting restless, having what you think is a nightmare, you start holding his hand, stroking your thumb up and down his soft skin
- it takes him a minute, but he calms down, and you don’t let go of his hand
- with nothing to do but watch him sleep, you decide taking a nap too would be your best option
- which is when the plane hits a particularly rough patch of turbulence
- he bounces awake, nervous and alert, and you tell him it’s just the plane, everything’s fine
- when you pull him into your shoulder, he takes the opportunity to fall back asleep
- you can feel the tension in his neck just by having him rest his head on your shoulder
- you keep a firm grip on his hand, when your own eyes start to get heavy
- your head rests on his, and the rest of the ride there is smooth and painless
OBERYN MARTELL
- he had been pursuing you for quite some time
- as the second son of a king, he was more than accustomed to people saying yes to appease him
- he was forward with you, and you were forward back with him, and he liked that
- it was your words that told him you weren't looking for anything long term, that if he were to pleasure you, and you him, he would be nothing more than a simple one night stand
- boy did he prove you wrong
- your legs were so weak afterward, you couldn't bare to get up
- he took incredibly good care of you, squeezing your sore thighs and rubbing your aching muscles, pressing kisses up and down your back, brushing the hair out of your face
- it only increased your attraction to him when he brought in more people, caring for them and having them care for you, and by the time you had finished, you felt as though you couldn't physically go another round that night
- he purred in your ear that every night with him would be a night like this, and you whined back, making him grin and capture your mouth in a passionate kiss
- you didn't mean to fall sleep with him, but all the nibbling bites at your ear and the serotonin coursing through your veins had you spent for the night
- he let you sleep, and even stayed for a while before being summoned for an important meeting
- you made a mental note that eventually, you two would need to do that again, because you slept like a baby the whole night through
PERO TOVAR
- it's below freezing when you settle down for sleep that night
- no matter how much wind the tent tried to keep out, it just wasn't enough
- you're bundled up in all the clothes you had brought with you, the only blanket that could be spared, anything that could try to keep you warm, but nothing’s working
- the cold just bleeds through the blanket and your clothes, into your legs and chest and bones so that you can’t fall asleep if you tried
- you figure the only way you’ll be able to get any rest to be ready for the next day, is to go find a warmer place to sleep
- if the fire’s still going, you’ll rest there
- you shiver as you pick up your things, but your interrupted by tovar, who comes in with a thick fur blanket wrapped around his shoulders
- “where are you going?”
- “i was just going to sleep next to the fire,” you say, trying to keep the chill out of your voice
- “it’s going to be cold tonight. lay down.” he instructs, and you oblige
- he lays the blanket down over you and climbs underneath it next to you, so that your shoulders touch and watch him for a second before he turns over and tries to go to sleep without a word
- you pull the blanket up to your shoulders and you feel ten times warmer already, but it’s the heat from tovar that really entices you
- so you push back against him, your back against his, and fall asleep with the warmth of his muscles against yours
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popopretty · 3 years
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Storm Bringer Spoilers (9)
I finally finished the translation of the last part in the epilogue where it is explained why Verlaine was still alive and how he became after that. Verlaine and Rimbaud’s relationship is just so sad :( 
Please feel free to re-translate. Just be aware that I don’t speak English or Japanese as my native language so I may make a few mistakes here and there. Also, some meanings might be lost in indirect translation. 
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...
Going back in time.
The Demonic Beast Guivre appeared in the wood. Adam blew himself up. Chuuya opened the “gate” and defeated Guivre.
Four minutes and thirty seconds after that.
The place was the site of the collapsed highway overpass. Crushed foundation materials, concrete, wires, steel frames, cylindrical forms and such were scattered and piled up like dead bodies.
On the top of that place, Verlaine was in the progress of vanishing.
He couldn’t bend the tips of his fingers. His breathing was shallow. His vision was so dark and hazy that he couldn’t even see the stars. Verlaine is nothing more than a sealed string of codes. When the singularity lifeform that acted as his main body disappeared, his heart was slowly stopping due to the life-sustaining energy being depleted.
Verlaine’s thoughts were just as shallow and slow as his breath. Even on the verge of being engulfed into the hollow of death, his heart didn’t flinch one bit, nor did it seek for anything.
So this is death, Verlaine thought in his disrupted consciousness. It is not such a big deal as I thought. No groaning in pain, no crying of regrets, no distraught with fear either. It is flat and thoroughly empty. In the first place, my life is not a life that has anything to regret at this point. It is a life that should not have been born from the beginning. I didn’t live in a way as to regret anything either.
It’s just that, I caused troubles to so many people. The French government, my assassination targets, Port Mafia, brother. In the end, I didn’t get anything, even with all of that. That only is like a stain my life’s trail, that I regret a little.
Well, whatever. As you can see, I will die soon so forgive me.
His fingers grew colder and eventually he didn’t even feel the cold anymore.
His heartbeat weakened. And after a brief spasm...
It stopped.
His heart.
A few tens of seconds passed.
Verlaine realized that he was still breathing. At the edge of his field of vision, he saw something red. He turned his eyes to that. 
A crimson red cube was passing through his chest and surrounding his heart. That thing was making his heart move.
What the hell is this? Verlaine was confused. It was not because he did not know what the crimson cube was. He was confused because that was something he knew so well.
Why is it here?
“This is the first time I saw you in such a terrible state.”
How nostalgic was that voice.
Verlaine couldn’t believe his own ears. And when the person entered his sight, he started doubting his eyes too.
“No, no...”, Verlaine spoke in a whispering voice. “This can’t be happening. You can’t possibly appear here.”
“Exactly”, the person nodded. “However, showing up in the most unlikely places, at the most unlikely times, isn’t that what a spy is?”
That was Arthur Rimbaud.
A fuzzy outer jacket. A thick scarf around his neck. A pair of earmuffs made from rabbit hair on his head. Long, black hair and somewhat gloomy eyes.
He was the person who saved Verlaine from the lab, and his partner. And the person Verlaine betrayed.
The subspace created by the crimson cube was the sign of Rimbaud’s skill. All substances inside it can be manipulated at Rimbaud’s will.
“Paul, what have you learnt in the world of spies?” Rimbaud sounded surprised as he asked.
“That if you don’t throw away your feelings, you won’t be able to complete the missions, it taught me that much. But what are missions? And what are feelings? Is that to vent out all of my hatred towards human? Or is that to get a little brother? I rushed into this without knowing clearly which one was the mission, and this is the result. If I hadn’t told brother the way to stop Guivre, I would have been able to kill off all those hateful humans.”
“Ahh... I see, you are Rimbaud’s hallucination.” Verlaine said as if he was ridiculing himself. “You are the illusion that I see on the verge of death, the death reaper my guilts are showing me. Otherwise, there is no way Rimbaud who died one year ago would appear here.”
“I’m not a hallucination, neither a reaper. I am a ghost.” Rimbaud shook his head. “I have been waiting for you, in this country.”
Verlaine stared at the other silently, as if he was trying to understand what that existence over there actually was.
“No way, there can be no ghosts.” Verlaine finally shook his head. “Not because it’s unscientific. If you were a ghost and not an illusion, you would not be saving me like this. You would definitely curse me to death.”
“Why?”
“I betrayed you, and tried to kill you.” His cold voice echoed through the night.
Rimbaud didn’t say anything, he looked back at the collapsed Verlaine with calm eyes.
“What’s with those eyes? Be mad at me more, resent me more, punch me, kick me, strangle me, Rimbaud!”, Verlaine screamed, still lying on the ground. “I shot you from the back. That’s why that explosion happened. You were caught up in it and lost your memories, then died in this foreign country not even knowing who you were. If you are a ghost, then there is only one reason that you became one. That’s your grudge towards me, isn’t that right, Rimbaud!”
“It’s the opposite.”, Rimbaud shook his head. “I waited for you because... I wanted to apologize.”
“Apologize? For what?” Verlaine frowned, not getting what he just heard.
“I wanted to help you. And I thought that I was helping.” Rimbaud leaned forward, holding his hand over Verlaine’s chest. “But what I actually gave you, was nothing more than the one-sided sympathy of a man who pretended that he understood. I can’t allow myself to just apologize. I have always been thinking about what I could give. And I finally got the answer on the verge of death. This is it.”
Under Rimbaud’s palm, the space cube grew bigger.
The thing that was at Verlaine’s chest earlier started to expand as if it wanted to shallow his whole body. Then it became huge enough to shallow both Verlaine and Rimbaud inside. That was the subspace created by Rimbaud’s skill. Inside it, Rimbaud is capable of doing anything. Except for bringing the dead back to life.
That exception seemed to be happening.
Verlaine noticed his own fingers twitching. They bent. It wasn’t an illusion. His eyes were also moving. His muddy vision gradually became clear.
“This is...”
Verlaine moved his arm. He twisted and raised his upper body up. He looked at his palm, at the back of his hand, squeezed it, then released it again. He felt his fingers being warmed up by the blood flowing in.
He tried to ask what was happening so he looked at Rimbaud who was there.
Rimbaud was not there.
He collapsed.
By Verlaine’s side.
“What is this?”, Verlaine asked in shock. “I see, you... you used your skill on yourself?”
“A method that I could use only once in life.” Rimbaud said with a faint smile on his face. “But it worked well.”
<The skill to turn humans into skills>
That was Arthur Rimbaud’s skill.
Transforming dead humans into a skilled lifeform, and using them freely inside the crimson subspace. The person who is turned will have the memories and physical capabilities of their past lives, they can even use skills. It is a skill worthy of a spy that is considered the most elite in Europe, the heresy of the heresies. 
Rimbaud used that skill on himself.
“It’s nothing to worry about. I am already dead.” Rimbaud said weakly. “What is left here is just information. But even if it is like that, I feel good. Because I could leave this to you.”
Rimbaud’s body started to glow in red. The way it glowed was familiar to Verlaine.
A redshift. (*TN: A term referring to an increase in the wavelength, and corresponding decrease in the frequency and photon energy. In astronomy, it happened when an object is moving away from us. Good luck Googling.) 
“Wait!” Verlaine who realized what was going on, reached out to the collapsed Rimbaud.
“Wait, Rimbaud. Don’t disappear!”
“Because you didn’t like my birthday present.” Rimbaud laughed apologetically.
“Just take this as a birthday present instead. Happy Birthday. I am happy you were born into this life.”
After that, the subspace contracted sharply, sucked into Verlaine’s heart and disappeared.
All that remained was the debris, and Verlaine, and the cool breeze of the night.
Verlaine walked two, three steps with the stunned look on his face. He looked around then sat down on the debris.
“Ha...hahaha.” He looked down and let out a dry laugh.
“Hey Rimbaud, you waited one year for me just to do this? For something like this?”
Verlaine knew, what Rimbaud had done.
To save him, Rimbaud had turned himself into a self-contradictory typed singularity.
Rimbaud, who had turned himself into a skill, used that skill again on his own self who was born as a result of that. Then he continued to apply that skill on his new self that was born. And by repeating this progress, he created a self-contradictory typed singularity. Then he gave that singularity to Verlaine, in place of the Demonic Beast Guivre.
Verlaine tried to stand up but he didn’t have enough strength and dropped his knees on the debris. He was weak. Perhaps, the singularity that Rimbaud created did not have an infinity output like the unlimited energy that the usual self-contradictory typed singularity emits. He could no longer use his inexhaustible gravitational skill like he did before.
But Verlaine didn’t find it particularly regrettable. 
Because he was regretting the thing that he just lost that very moment more.
“Why, Rimbaud?” Verlaine looked up to the sky. “Why did you smile at the end? I betrayed you, and you died because of that, you know?”
He knew the answer. He just didn’t want to understand.
Rimbaud, the man who freed him from Faunus and gave him the freedom to live.
Rimbaud, the man who trained him and raised him into a spy, the person who got through all the dangerous missions with him.
Rimbaud, the man who shyly handed him his birthday present.
“Why did you smile?” Verlaine spoke with a trembling voice. “If you turn yourself into a skill, you are no longer human. You will be nothing more than a piece of surface information with a human’s memories and personalities. You knew that for sure. Still why did you wait for me? Why did you have to go that far for someone like me, when you didn’t even know if I would come or not?”
Verlaine finally came to his senses.
The reason why he let Chuuya know how to defeat the Demonic Beast Guivre at that time.
He hated humans. He thought that it would be okay if everyone died. Yet, he gave out the hint to destroy Guivre. That was because he didn’t think that everyone should die, equally. 
There was only one exception.
One person worthy of affirming human beings.
“Sorry, Rimbaud.” Verlaine whispered behind his clenched teeth. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry I couldn’t live up to your friendship. I’m sorry I didn’t thank you when I received the birthday present. I am finally grieving the fact that you are not here anymore now...”
Verlaine said so with his trembling voice, as he sat still and looked up to the sky with his eyes closed.
He remained there for a long, long time, looking at the night sky.
...
--------------------------------------------------------------
...
Time pours on everything equally.
Verlaine didn’t die. After surviving with the life he got from Rimbaud, he was confined in Port Mafia’s underground shelter. That was what Verlaine wished for. There was already no place for Verlaine in the outside world. He had lost most of his gravitational skill and the only place he could escape the long and big hands of Europe was the hideout deep underground.
Also, he had no interests in the outside world. There wasn’t anyone he wanted to kill, nor anyone he wanted to meet. Apart from Rimbaud. 
And Rimbaud was no longer there.
At first, he just sat in the basement and spent all his time reading and writing poems. When he became bored with that, he started doing what Rimbaud used to do. Training the younger generation.
He hammered his assassination skills and knowledge into the Mafia’s elites in an underground training space. Gin, Izumi Kyouka, and many more.
Those mafias under his discipline all became top-class assassins in a short period of  time.
Verlaine didn’t reveal his feelings to anyone. He never told his apprentices nor the Boss the reason why he kept desiring that crippling life underground. 
When he was not training his apprentices, he just sat on his wicker chair, waiting for something. He never told anyone what he was waiting for. If he was asked persistently, he would just say “for the storm”. No-one knew what that storm was supposed to mean.
Six years later, Verlaine now has become an indispensable central figure in the Mafia, and risen to the position of one of Mafia’s five executives.
He is still sitting on his wicker chair, waiting for his storm even today.
...
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norahastuff · 3 years
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the unrequited love thing just bothers me so much. No-one had any issues seeing Cas/Hannah as a valid ship in the show when Cas wasn't even really interested in her. We've had a decade worth of romantic signals from Dean, but somehow destiel is unrequited. such a goddamn tragedy that they couldn't find their way back to each other one last time when that is their whole ~dynamic~
Yes, all of this. Exactly. Honestly, it’s been so frustrating to keep hearing the word unrequited thrown around so much lately. What about this dynamic has ever seemed unrequited? I’ve done this before but I’ve been really annoyed about it lately so should we make a list?
What about Dean feeling so personally betrayed by Cas in The Man Who Would Be King? Or Sam and Bobby walking on eggshells around Dean and taking care to very delicately approach bringing up the possibility of Cas doing something shady because they knew how hard Dean was going to take it? They knew it would be different for him than it would be for both of them.
Or how about Dean keeping Cas’ trenchcoat, and not only keeping it - he could have stashed it at Bobby’s or left it in the trunk of the Impala - but no he kept it with him, moved it from car to car. And this isn’t a last-minute development that they decided to throw into 7x17 when Cas returned, we see glimpses of the coat in other episodes before this, a consistent reminder that Dean’s carrying it around with him. That losing Cas is weighing on him.
How about Dean wondering why he could usually get over things but for some reason with Cas he couldn’t and he just didn’t know why. 
For that matter...do you think there is anybody else that Dean would forgive for hurting Sam? For betraying him? Sure Dean is mad at Cas but more than anything he wanted to fix things. Despite everything, he needed Cas to be a part of his life. 
How about that time Dean spent a year in purgatory looking for Cas, praying to him every night? In Dean’s mind, Sam is out there alone doing God knows what trying to get him back. I mean Sam didn’t, he’d let Dean go, but Dean assumed he was still looking. And yet Dean didn’t go back to Sam even though he could. He stayed for a year looking for Cas. Because he needed to. He needed him. Purgatory was pure remember? Dean had clarity there. He understood his wants, needs, and emotions.
Or you know just that one little thing about how Dean changed his own memories of what happened when he got separated from Cas because the thought of failing Cas was less painful than the idea that Cas would choose to stay in purgatory instead of leaving with him.
“We need you. I need you.” You know all about this one, I don’t need to say more.
The angels knowing exactly what would hurt Dean, knowing how much he cared about Cas and using that against him: 
“The very touch of you corrupts. When Castiel first laid a hand on you in hell he was lost!” 
“I know you’re hoping Castiel will return to you. I only wish that he felt the same way.”
Miriam: Bieber in there he can do almost anything. Dean: Anything? (and for the first time since Cas died we see Dean experience a moment of hope...and then...) Miriam: Oh sweetie, almost anything. Castiel he’s dead, all the way dead, because of you.
Dean staring wistfully at Cas through a Gas n Sip window for god knows how long. Actually you know what, that whole episode. 
Cas being Dean’s Colette. That’s not subtext. You can argue with the execution, but the parallel was spelled out. And actually for that matter in Chuck’s drafts or alternate futures/ timelines or whatever that he was showing Sam, Dean was the one who was broken after losing Cas to the Mark of Cain, Dean was the one who had to bury him in Ma’lak box. Dean was the one who had to stop him. So I mean not only was Cas Dean’s Colette, but Dean was Cas’ Colette too.
Dean reacting very differently than Sam to Cas’ decision to say yes to Lucifer. Dean’s worry. Dean desperately calling out to Cas over and over again to try reach him and get him to eject Lucifer. Dean resisting Amara for Cas. Lucifer and Amara being very surprised by this. Amara using Cas to try to get to Dean. 
Dean’s very different reactions to all things Cas in s12. This one would need it’s own post, but let’s just say there was a lot of focus on Dean and Cas in s12 and most of it was on how intensely Dean felt for Cas. 
Dean made him a Led Zeppelin mixtape. And then proceeded to get mad at himself for letting Cas use it to come into his room and play him. Which isn’t exactly what happened (though it sort of is) but that’s exactly what went down from Dean’s perspective, and that kind of move would only work if Dean truly cared about Cas. Going into someone’s room and playing on their feelings for you by using a romantic gift they gave you, only works if that person has feelings for you that can be played with.
12x23. Sam having to pull Dean away from Cas at the rift because Dean was intent on chasing after Cas. Dean falling to his knees by Cas’ body unable and unwilling to think about anything else and leaving Sam to face the nephilim. Sam knowing better than to even try to move Dean.
Widower arc. I would elaborate but do I need to?
And finally all of their arc in s15. No part of that was one sided. 
I actually can’t believe we have to keep having this conversation. Before it seemed like we kept having to somehow “prove” there was a romantic element to Dean and Cas’ relationship. Now that they have explicitly stated in canon that there is, the conversation seems to have shifted to how it’s one sided. Look I’m as frustrated as anyone that Dean didn’t get to say anything, but we never considered their relationship one sided before. That’s certainly not what I saw in the show.  Dude pines after his totes str8 bro friend who’s not into him is not a story I would have had any interest in. Looking at that long list above does it seem like it was one sided?
Whatever Cas felt for Dean, Dean felt it too. This has never seemed like a one sided narrative. Like you said just because the last page of the story was ripped out/wasn’t written (ie whatever you think went down) it doesn’t invalidate years upon years of consistent relationship building and emotional growth. Their story is incomplete not erased.
(And in relation to the Cas and Hannah of it all, a while back I did get curious and look that up, and you’re right. People had no problem with thinking of Cas and Hannah as romantic - when she was played by Erica Carroll. When Hannah returned in a male vessel, both Misha and the new actor Lee Majdoub played their relationship exactly the same way, the same heart eyes, the same gentle touches and soft spoken appreciation, but no one seemed to want to discuss Cas and Hannah’s romantic connection anymore. For reasons. Whatever could they be? I’m putting this in brackets though because I don’t have the sources on that and I have no intention of trawling through reddit/entertainment review sites/wherever I checked last time to find them. I do not have that in me. So there’s a chance I could be mistaken and people did discuss it, in which case I’d love to be proven wrong. Anyway that’s why this point is just at the end in brackets)
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The counter argument to people being against Sam/Rebecca for legitimate reasons are claims that Sam is being “infantilized.”
These age gap conversations in general are difficult to have because one side won’t acknowledge that just because two people are adults doesn’t mean they are in the same place emotionally and mentally. And this is a very important thing to note.
Someone being 18, a legal adult in America (I think you can date adults at 16 in the UK), doesn’t mean they are able to date a significantly older person, say 38, without a problem. Because, more times than not, which is an understatement, there’s a lot of fucking problems in an age gap relationship even if the older person isn’t dating the younger for nefarious reasons.
It is not infantilizing Sam or any young adult to say, “hey, this relationship may be detrimental to them because of their age.” That is just…facts.
Many people on tumblr and other SM sites often talk about how they still feel like kids at 22 and are still figuring life at, despite having jobs, kids, and shit. Despite being in full blown relationships, these young adults don’t feel like adults and that’s because you aren’t magically mature just because you’ve reached an arbitrary age to be declared a legal adult.
You just aren’t.
And being mature in one aspect of your life or regarding emotional development doesn’t mean you’re mature in other aspects. At 17, I was mature enough to understand this.
Because maturity isn’t just something you obtain like your degree or license, it’s an ongoing, ever evolving thing.
It’s life experience. As in how you learn and grow from it.
Acknowledging that someone doesn’t have significant life experience isn’t infantilizing them, it’s giving an important perspective to a crowd of who is essentially arguing “age ain’t nothing, but a number.”
If you’re all for an 18 year old dating a 38 year old, why not a 16 year old and a 36 year. It’s only a two year difference, right? And what if that 16 year old is really mature? Most would have an issue with that. People are justifying a significantly older person dating a younger person due to legality and not they are actually mature and on the same level. But there’s not much difference between a 16 and 18 year old or an 18 year old and a 20 year old. But guess what, there is a significant difference between people between the ages of 18-22 dating people a decade or more.
I literally just turned 30 last week and, even when I was 25, after a while I could tell when I was speaking to a teen or someone in their early 20s. Because, whether or not you get along with them, there are just some things that, because they haven’t had enough life experience, they don’t have the nuance or perspective to engage with you a certain way and this is even on a non romantic level.
And, in some cases, the younger person is more “mature” not because they’re actually that mature, but because the older person is that immature.
So before I get into the issues with Sam and Rebecca, let me give you four examples of age gaps relationships:
1. A friend of mine dating an older man when she was 23 and he was 38. She was a manager at a gym and he was a gym member. They would have sex and hang out, but she wanted commitment. Whenever she asked him about it, he’d get weird on her. After finally breaking it off months later, he “loved” her and finally wanted commitment, but she’d moved on. While she dated him, I told her my two cents on the situation and left it alone. Last month, she recalled this conversation as she groaned in displeasure hearing about an age gap relationship. She’s now skeptical of older people dating significantly younger people.
2. A friend of mine was 18 dating a 28 year old. We all worked at a pizzeria. He watched her on the cameras from the back when he became a manager—got mad if she talked to male coworkers. Used to gaslight her, controlled her via manipulation, and other gross toxic shit. After emotionally tormenting her for a year or so and pressuring her to live with him, which her parents allowed due to some issues they didn’t want to exacerbate, he cheated on her. They’re broken up now. She was always stressed out while with him.
3. A girl got into her first and only relationship when she was 19 with a man who was 32. They’re now married 23 and 36. She wants to wait to have kids and on her birthday he gifted her baby clothes. Make of that what you will.
4. A girl, 22, dated her 37 year old professor. At 28, she feels like she’s outgrown him and is disturbed about how and when they got together. And one night she heard him advise his friends to date younger girls so they can mold them. Yeah…
Sure you have marriages that have age gaps that lasted, but even then, very few of those are actually healthy. The younger person is usually taking orders from the older partner, can’t do certain things, doesn’t have any true agency, skills to survive on their own, etc. What typically happens is after that person becomes older, they begin to question their relationship because what seemed okay when they were younger, is unsettling after becoming older.
Like I said, take out the nefarious shit, and there is still a significant life experience gulf between Sam and Rebecca and that is one of the many issues with this pairing. Despite what some romantics and media loves to say, “love does not conquer all.” Most of the marriages that end in divorce isn’t because they couple fell out of love, it’s due to finances. Love couldn’t conquer that. Some marriages end because one of them changed or they could’ve overcome their vast differences.
I’m not saying Sam and Rebecca are on a path for marriage or are even in love, they aren’t, however, they idea that just because they get along and have some things in common means it would be a great relationship is very shortsighted. There isn’t even enough significant interaction to prove this. Getting along on an app isn’t the same as connecting face to face. And none of this can overcome Rebecca’s life experience and, relatively speaking, Sam’s lack thereof.
And I’d argue that, on average, athletes tend to be immature because they live in such a bubble where people constantly kiss their ass. Which makes Sam look more mature than he probably is.
Even then, being with an older person ages you. This younger person misses out on so much, many of which they regret, because they’re trying to be mature enough for their older partner. They don’t want to seen as immature for doing young shit when that’s exactly their age range.
But let’s get into the real consequences for Sam here:
1. Sam has to keep his relationship a secret. The media will tear him up about dating/fucking the owner of the team. And so will fans. People love to mention he’s being infantilized because he’s young and black, how do you think that is going to go if anyone finds out about them? Racism, baby. He won’t suffer from sexism, however, they will question his place on the team and if he deserves to be there. This will taint him and even cause issues with his parents. So secret relationship it is.
2. If his teammates found out, this will fracture his relationship with them. Whether or not it’s true, Sam will be blamed for shit outside of his control. They’ll think he only got more playing time, more pay, or whatever because he’s fucking Rebecca. OR they’ll try to ask him for favors and get upset if he won’t do it. His team will think he’s getting favoritism and believe there is a power imbalance between them and Sam as a result. Don’t believe me, Google dynamics once students realize a classmate is dating their teacher or an employee is dating their boss. It usually doesn’t go over so well.
So even if the relationship is loving and healthy, Sam will suffer from being with Rebecca. Because if it's a secret, it’s going to bother him eventually that they have to sneak around and the anxiety of being caught. If it’s out in the open, he will suffer harassment, alienation, his play will suffer because his teammates probably won’t pass to him, etc.
Which leads to, 3: transferring teams. But how is that fair? Sam is developing well under ted and now that may delay his development and stock just so he can be with Rebecca? We want this young, black man to succeed, but his career will be kneecapped due to his relationship. Sam is serious about football and this would be a major blow to him.
Like I said, take out nefarious shit and this relationship is still detrimental to Sam. And even with a healthy relationship, there will still be a disconnect that will lead to their relationship ending because they are in two vastly different places in their lives.
That is not infantilizing Sam, that’s reality.
And, again, that power imbalance is massive. We saw how easy it was for Rebecca to send Jamie back to Man City. She has so much power, control, and influence over Sam’s career and livelihood. She can dictate how much or how little they offer to pay him during contract negotiations.
And this is the ship people are getting upset at others rightfully taking issue with?
It doesn’t even make sense for Rebecca to go along with this either. She played a part in Keeley breaking up with Jamie, which age, Jamie being younger, played a key part in it. She’s even disgusted by Rupert dating a significantly younger woman. I doubt her opinion centered on maturity. She’s not going to suddenly support this relationship if she found out that Bex is super mature.
Rebecca would stand to lose a lot of she were to get involved with Sam and others found out. She’d get dragged through the mud worse than she did after her divorce. She’s lose them support of her staff. And it would fuck up the relationship she has with her players.
Now some Sam/Rebecca supporters have called bullshit on people who are against this relationship, yet support Ted and Rebecca. They claim it’s the same power imbalance or that one exists.
1. It’s not the same power imbalance.
2. Yes, one does exist, but it’s not nearly as wide as it is with Sam and it wouldn’t destroy her either.
Ted has the authority to hire and fire people. He has the authority to facilitate trades, call up people, and send them down. He has a lot of influence that Sam does not. They aren’t equals, but there also isn’t a massive power disparity either.
Rebecca also can’t completely fuck over Ted like she can Sam if she went all scorned woman. Because, doing so, would entail her own demise. Even if you don’t include that, Ted is only attached to Richmond. He doesn’t care about having a career as a football coach in the ways coaches from non US countries do. He can go back and have a career as an American football coach and still be massively successful. Or, if Rebecca did want to fuck him over, he has that bomb as to why he was hired. Ted doesn’t even have to play that card for it to be played by either Higgins or Keeley.
Because one of them will if they feel it’s necessary.
We have no clue what’s going to happen with this storyline. But the idea that people against Sam and Rebecca being a thing, romantically or sexually, being fueled by racism or sexism is misguided, hypocritical, and flat out wrong. If this entanglement is pursued, it stands to harm Sam from various angles and that’s MY objection.
People think this is all about Ted/Rebecca when, personally, I’d lose (some) respect for Rebecca if she got involved with Sam. That would taint her for me. Because let’s be real, many of us are grossed out by Rupert dating, marrying, and then impregnating Bex. Yet, some are okay with Rebecca and Sam getting together and those who are against it are sexist? And I truly believe the same people supporting this ship are also grossed out by Rupert’s relationship.
How is Rupert’s relationship gross, but we shouldn’t obsess over age with Rebecca and Sam? People say Sam is mature enough to date Rebecca, which implies that Bex isn’t mature enough to be with Rupert and that IS sexist.
Even if the writers confirm tomorrow that Ted/Rebecca will never be a thing, I wouldn’t object any less to Sam/Rebecca. If Sam was Roy’s age and in Roy’s position, I’d have way less of an issue.
But you’re going to have a tough time convincing me that a young man who is 20/21 and employed by a 47 year woman who can heavily influence his career isn’t a massive power imbalance that shouldn’t be explored by fans.
I’m really curious to see how this post ages once the storyline plays out. But this post is about exploring what it means for Sam and Rebecca to get involved and how the accusations of infantilizing Sam doesn’t pass the sniff test.
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backtothestart02 · 3 years
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Just Best Friends - 9/? | westallen fanfiction
A/N: “It’s been 84 years...” lolz. I hope you enjoy this! I don’t know when the next chap will come, but as soon as I can write it, I will!
...
Chapter 9 -
A week passed. During that week, Iris made herself completely unreachable – not just to Barry but to Eddie as well. She worked through lunch, so Barry couldn’t take her out, and she worked late hours, so that by the time she returned to hers and Eddie’s apartment, she was so exhausted, she could only heat up some leftovers and collapse onto their bed when she was finished with them.
That also meant no sex, no cuddling, and hardly any talking that wasn’t an incredibly brief apology before passing out or running out the door. And for Barry, it was just one excuse after another, though they always sounded very similar.
Sorry, I have so much work to do. Or… Maybe another time? I just got a new story, and I have a hot lead on it.
He always understood in words, but she could see the disappointment on his face every time. As well as her failure to respond to the fresh bouquet of flowers he set on her desk daily.
They weren’t just excuses though. They were legitimate…most of the time. Were they unnecessary? Probably. She didn’t have to go out of her way to beg her boss for more stories, or to work so far ahead of schedule that she felt she was on the verge of a burn out or collapse.
But she didn’t know how to act now that Eddie was back. She knew she needed to break up with him. She knew that. But she didn’t want to break his heart, and she wasn’t 100% sure Barry would just agree to date her after the hell she’d put him through emotionally. So avoiding both of them seemed to be the only way out.
She’d also come to the conclusion that while irritating, her dad going out of his way to forbid Barry to tell her he was the Flash had come from a place of love, and that she couldn’t stay mad at him any more than she could with Barry. The only problem was she found having that conversation with him was almost impossible because either Eddie or Barry or both seemed to be in his vicinity at all times.
Little did she know though that there was one other person who was taking a keen interest in the situation developing over the past week, and it was the one person she’d been paranoid about for a while before Eddie came back, and who she’d entirely forgotten about as the weight of the three men in her life came barreling down on her.
And that person had apparently had enough of what she was doing and had decided to seek her out for a confrontation of sorts shortly after Barry left during his lunch break for the fifth time that week.
With a slow yet determined saunter, Linda approached Iris’ desk just as soon as Mason disappeared for his daily lunch walk.
“Iris.”
The familiar voice made her freeze. She recovered quickly, but she had a feeling Linda had caught her red-handed and completely unprepared for where this particular conversation would lead. After all, the last time they’d “talked”, Linda had completely brushed her off, and the time before that Linda had told her to her face that she knew Iris had feelings for Barry, even when she’d still been in denial of that fact herself.
“Linda.” She shuffled her papers around on her desk to somehow fill the awkwardness of the moment. “What, uh…what can I do for you?”
Linda folded her arms and sat on the corner of Iris’ desk.
“Was that Barry that just left?”
“Hmm?” She decided to play dumb. “Oh, yeah, it was. He uh, wanted to go to lunch. I told him I had work to do, which I did – do. So, if you don’t mind?”
Linda’s jaw actually dropped.
“Dismissing me so quickly? If I recall correctly, the last time we talked, you were only too eager to get my attention.”
Iris bit her tongue to keep from responding with something she’d regret.
“Let me guess. You’re giving me a taste of my own medicine?” Linda raised her eyebrows.
Iris cleared her throat.
“Not at all. I just…I have work to do. A lot of it.”
“You’ve had a lot of work to do for the past five days, haven’t you?”
Iris’ eyes squinted.
“Have you been…spying on me?”
“Please.” Iris waited. “I’ve been talking to Barry. He’s needed someone to vent to, you know, since before Eddie came back you were practically climbing on top of him every day at lunch and after work and sometimes before work, according to him.”
“That’s not how it was,” Iris said under her breath.
“No? You better clear that up with your supposed best friend then, because that’s how he saw it. He’s crushed that you’re avoiding him again.” She leaned forward. “Which you are doing, right? Neither of us is buying that you suddenly have so much work to do.”
“I do!” Iris snapped. “I…I asked for it.”
Linda’s eyes widened and her mouth formed an ‘o’.
“And why would you do that?”
She started shuffling her papers again.
“That’s none of your business.”
“You made it my business when you made out with my boyfriend after sticking your finger in his mouth and sitting on his lap on our date.”
Iris sighed testily.
“I thought you two broke up.”
“We did.”
“Do you wish you hadn’t? I know it wasn’t your idea.”
“I’m not stupid, Iris. I’m not going to blindly fight for a relationship with someone who clearly wants to be with someone else.”
Iris bit her lip, avoiding eye contact.
“He does?” she asked quietly.
“He’s in love with you!” She lowered her voice when she got a few looks. “He’d take you in a heartbeat,” she paused. “If that’s what you want.”
Iris swallowed.
“But you don’t know what you want, do you?”
“Yes, I…I do.”
“Then what do you want? Please, tell me at least.”
“Why?” She met her eyes again and glared. “So you can run off and tell Barry? Or Eddie?”
Linda rolled her eyes.
“I have no reason to tell your boyfriend anything. Barry, however, I do still care about. And we’re friends now. He deserves to know the truth, even if it isn’t from you. He’s going crazy with all your…mixed signals.”
Iris nibbled on her lip again, guilt weighing her down.
“Iris, hey, there’s something I wanted to…” Mason approached, then came to an abrupt halt, sensing the tension between the two women immediately. “Am I interrupting something?” He looked between the two.
“Not at all.” Linda smiled serenely before looking down at Iris one last time. “You know where to find me, Iris.”
Iris gulped, not looking at her but nodded just before Linda retreated – finally – to her desk across the room.
“What was that about?”
Iris closed her eyes and shook her head before swiveling in her chair toward him.
“Nothing. What was it you wanted to talk to me about?”
His eyes were full of suspicion, but it was clear his need to discuss something with her was greater.
“I want to show you something.” He took the seat Linda had vacated, then pulled out a folder, revealing to her a familiar face she’d nearly forgotten. “Simon Stagg. Remember him?”
Well, there was no longer any way of avoiding it. She had to seek out Barry. Mason’s suspicions about Harrison Wells stirred her insides too deeply, and honestly, made her worried about her best friend, since she knew how much he adored who had become to be his mentor. There was Caitlin and Cisco to consider too, who had known Dr. Wells even longer, but right now all she cared about was Barry.
So, she marched over to CCPD shortly after her conversation with Mason, using the excuse of pursuing a story – which, more or less, she was – to explain her absence at her work site and sought out Barry as soon as she stepped out of the elevator.
Unfortunately, her dad’s eyes locked with hers first. She swallowed, remembering how things were between them. She considered then abandoning a much-needed talk with Barry to finally hash things out with her dad. That course of action was dashed however, when within seconds he had looked away from her and gestured instead in her direction to whoever was standing across from him.
She should’ve known then who it would be, but it didn’t occur to her until he was walking toward her, a grin on his face, no doubt thinking she was there to see him.
“Iris, hey.” He kissed her before she could even think to turn her cheek to him. “Did you have a late lunch today? I have some time now. We cou-”
“Oh, actually, I’m here to see, Barry. Is he upstairs?”
“Huh?”
“In his lab?”
Eddie blinked.
“Um, yeah, as far as I know. There are no active crime scenes where he’d be at otherwise.”
“Great. Thanks. I’ll see you tonight.”
She pressed a quick kiss to his cheek and headed towards the staircase before he could so much as pull her in for an explanation or something more.
Feeling confused and honestly a little hurt, Eddie returned to his desk, Joe sitting now at his, ignoring Eddie’s state as best as he could.
“Should I be worried?” he finally asked.
Joe pretended not to have heard him.
“Joe.”
“Hmm?” he asked, not looking up from the files he was pretending to look over in front of him.
“Should I be worried?”
“About what?”
“About Iris,” he said, as if it should be obvious.
Despite how he felt about the man dating his daughter, Joe looked up to address him. He was also his partner, after all.
“Why are you worried about her?”
Eddie let out a cough of relief, eager to unload his troubles onto somebody – anybody – who would listen.
“She’s made herself busy ever since I got back.”
“She has a job. So do you.”
“More so than usual though,” he pushed on. “She leaves earlier than she used to, and she comes home really late. When she does, she eats some leftovers and crawls into bed without so much as a ‘hey, how was your day’ or ‘I love you, too, Eddie’.” He frowned. “It worries me.”
Now Joe frowned.
“She’s been avoiding Barry too.”
Eddie’s frown deepened.
“When had Barry been trying to meet up with her?”
“On her lunch breaks,” he blurted without thinking, then met his eyes, trying to play it off. “She always says she’s too busy working on a story.”
Eddie leaned back in his seat.
“I haven’t tried to meet up with her for lunch at all this week. I guess I’m so used to her coming here, and if she didn’t, that she had a good reason. I guess she did.”
“Well, there you go.”
Joe started to stand, eager to escape the awkwardness of the conversation.
“But I mean, we haven’t had sex all week.”
Joe finished straightening, then shot him a glare. Eddie’s face fell.
“You didn’t want to hear that.”
“Not particularly, no,” Joe said. “Now, if you’ll excuse me.”
He turned and headed for the bathroom. Any place was better than this.
About a step and a half before the entryway to Barry’s lap, Iris stalled, nibbling on her bottom lip. Barry had been as pleasant during her intended lunch break as he’d been all week, but she still wondered how accepting he’d be of her, especially when he found out this was a working meeting. She definitely needed to apologize first. How and when was the question, though. It was still beyond her how he hadn’t lashed out at her yet. She’d been treating him so unfairly, and yet time and time again, he kept crawling back to her, as if he was a glutton for punishment.
Well, no more of that. She couldn’t guarantee when she would break up with Eddie, but maybe Linda was right and she could at least explain her behavior this week and tell him she planned to break up with Eddie. Maybe. Maybe not. Maybe…eventually.
“Is someone there?” Barry called out, and Iris realized she’d started tapping her shoe against the floor in time with the rapid rhythm of her mind.
She stopped abruptly, then cleared her throat and peeked her head into the doorway.
“Hey.”
She gave an awkward hand wave.
“Iris?”
His brows furrowed, but he started to smile. Lord, help her, it made her heart do a flip.
“What are you doing out there?” He got up out of his seat and headed towards her. “And why didn’t you just come in?”
“S-sorry,” she stuttered, shocked by it as much as he was, then forced herself to walk through the door.
He came to a stop as soon as she was inside and waited for her explanation.
“I guess I didn’t know if you’d want to see me.”
He gawked.
“Iris, I’ve been trying to see you all week.”
“No, I know. Of course. Right. But uh…I thought my rejecting you today might’ve been your breaking point, and that you wouldn’t want to see me now. Without an apology. Which I am totally willing to make, by the way.” Her chuckle was strained, and she couldn’t meet his eyes.
“What’s there to apologize for?” he asked. “You had work to do. That isn’t your fault. I’m sure you’ve been working hard to catch up.”
“Actually…” She took another step toward him. “I haven’t.”
His brows furrowed, and he sat back down.
“I don’t follow.”
She sighed and sat on the corner of his desk, the only spot where there wasn’t files or a conglomeration of office supplies.
“I asked for extra work.” She swallowed. “On Monday.”
He tilted his head, confused.
“I was trying to be busy. On purpose.” She licked her lips. “So I’d be too busy if you came to see me.”
He froze, his heart thudding away inside his chest. He didn’t know how to take that bit of information, and honestly, he was crushed.
“I don’t understand…you didn’t want to see me?”
The hurt in his voice was palpable. Iris hated that she was doing this to him again. He shouldn’t even want to be her friend after this, no matter how apologetic she was.
“Not just you,” she said, hoping that would soften the blow. “Eddie too. And my dad.”
He was mystified by that. He understood Joe, what with the Flash business and all that, but Eddie?
“What have you got against Eddie?”
“Nothing!” she burst, then got up and started to pace. “I just…” She licked her lips, unable to stop walking and unable to form words either, it seemed. She couldn’t stop though. Not to leave, not to make eye contact. Her hard was pounding, and her breath was coming in short bursts. She felt everything closing in around her and wondered if she was having a panic attack.
Suddenly, she stopped and forced herself to look at him.
“Do you want me to go?”
“No,” he said instantly, standing too. “I want an explanation.”
She swallowed.
“I thought you and I were good last week.”
“We were,” she said. “We are.”
“Yet you purposely didn’t want me near you this week?”
Her knees locked, and she tensed up.
“And Eddie…what in the world did he do except home to you? I would’ve thought you’d be happy about that.”
Tears welled in her eyes. Her fingers were sweaty and tingled. She didn’t answer. She couldn’t.
“Iris.”
Answer.
“I don’t love him anymore!”
She covered her mouth at the same moment his eyes bulged, and he nearly stumbled backward.
“What?” he finally managed.
She sighed, running a hand through her hair as she started to pace again.
“I realized it last week. Or rather, I’ve been slowly realizing it for the past several weeks. I’ve just been…in denial.”
Barry’s pulse started racing. He approached her moving form with one determined step after another.
“What have you been in denial about, Iris?”
She stopped.
“What I just said!” She licked her lips again. “I don’t love him. I’m not in love with him anymore. But I don’t…I don’t know how to tell him. I don’t want to break his heart. Especially after I went out of my way to make him feel bad about thinking there was anything between us, when really-”
“Wait, wait, wait, us? As in, you and I, us?”
She looked up at him reluctantly and nodded.
“Yeah.”
“He doesn’t know I told you how I felt, does he? At Christmas?”
“No!” Her eyes widened. “No, I didn’t tell him that. He’d probably have punched you by now if I had.”
Barry paled, then squeaked, “Really?”
“Uh-huh,” she confirmed.
“W-Why?” He wrapped his arm around the back of his head.
“Isn’t it obvious?” He gave her a blank look. “You were trying to get his girlfriend to break up with him. To be with you.”
Barry thought about it for a few seconds, then realized that yeah, he kind of had been. He shook his head after he got past that thought.
“I still don’t understand though. If you didn’t tell him about that…” He locked eyes with her. “Did you tell him you…find me attractive?”
“Oh, God, no.” She pressed her face into her hands. “That would’ve been even worse.”
“Worse than a love confession? How?”
“Because it’s coming from me! And I…”
“What?”
She power-walked to right in front of him and prepared herself for the blow of all blows.
“I don’t just find you attractive, Barry. I have…I have feelings for you.”
I’m in love with you – But she couldn’t admit to that yet. Not while she was still dating Eddie.
He swallowed, fighting with the smile that wanted to take over his face.
“What kind of feelings?”
“Barry.” Her voice softened. “You know what kind.”
“Tell me,” he said. “Just so I know for sure.”
He was holding his breath, and she couldn’t blame him. Honestly, she was on the brink of holding hers too.
“You make my heart race, Barry.”
“Iris.”
He started to lean in, and it took all of her willpower to step back out of reach.
“No, we can’t. I can’t. It’s bad enough I cheated once. This can’t go any farther until it’s over.” She met his eyes. “Until Eddie and I are over.”
Barry swallowed.
“And when will that be?”
Her shoulders slumped, and her bottom lip quivered.
“I don’t know.”
His shoulders caved in as well. He forced himself not to get mad, but he couldn’t help feeling disappointed. So, the love of his life finally felt the same way, but she wouldn’t let herself act on it? And she wouldn’t do the one thing that would allow them to be together.
“Is that the only thing you came to tell me?” he asked, unable to keep some chill out of his words.
Iris supposed she couldn’t blame him.
“No…” she admitted, deciding not to mention how she hadn’t meant to tell him as much as she had.
“What else?”
She pursed her lips, hating that she had to turn this conversation into a business one before she could give him the answer that he wanted.
“What else, Iris?” he asked, sounding exhausted when she didn’t answer for too long.
“It’s about, Dr. Wells,” she finally said.
That caught him off guard.
“Dr. Wells? What does he have to do with anything?”
“I hope nothing, but just in case…can we go somewhere else? To talk?”
He wanted to ask her what was wrong with his lab, but he supposed the fresh air would do them both good. Give them a clear head and put everything she’d already said to rest for the time being. After all, she sounded awfully serious about whatever else she wanted to talk about.
“Sure,” he said. “Just let me grab my jacket.”
“Barry,” she called after him as he walked by her.
He stopped when he reached his garment.
“I’m sorry about…everything.”
“Don’t worry about it, Iris,” he said, as he slid his arms through the sleeves. “It’s fine.”
Hours later, and on a whim, Eddie found himself at a jewelry store – diamonds, to be more specific. In the back of his mind, he knew his intentions probably weren’t smart. Especially not right now, not with the way things were between him and Iris, especially this week. But there was another part of him that thought this might be just the thing to jolt their relationship back into what it had once been and the potential of what it could be, the future he’d seen from almost the minute he started dating her.
He pointed out a ring nestled in velvet that caught his eye in the display case below him. An employee walked up, inspired by his curiosity and tried to catch his attention.
“Sir?”
“Can I see that one, please?”
The man smiled.
“Of course.”
He reached for the key and unlocked the case. Just as he was pulling the velvet block out with the specified ring upon it, Eddie’s phone started to vibrate.
“Oh, excuse me.”
He turned partially away and glanced at the screen on his phone. He answered immediately, a smile on his face.
“Hey, Iris, what’s up?”
“I’m home,” she said, and he could hear the frown in her voice.
“So early?”
“Yeah, I felt bad for coming home so late every night this week…I thought we could have dinner together.”
“That sounds great.”
“Yeah?” She sounded relieved.
“Definitely. I’m uh…just running a last-minute errand. I’ll be home soon.”
“Okay. See you then.”
“See you.”
He turned back to the jeweler as he slid the phone back in his pocket, and his eyes widened with enthusiasm as the ring was presented to him.
“Oh, yeah. This is the one.”
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mst3kproject · 3 years
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The Neanderthal Man
Since I'm taking a break from fishmen, I might as well let Bigfoot catch up a bit.  The Neanderthal Man isn't exactly a Bigfoot movie, but it’s along the same lines and its entire starring cast has MST3K pedigrees.  Robert Shayne was in Indestructible Man and Teenage Caveman. Richard Crane was Rocky Jones, Space Ranger! Beverly Garland was in Swamp Diamonds and Gunslinger. Even the composer, Albert Glasser, wrote music for Invasion USA, Last of the Wild Horses, and almost all of MST3K’s Bert I. Gordon movies.
Some little mountain town in the middle of the Sierras (which the Portentous 50's Narrator takes some trouble to tell us is a primeval place where 'the defacing hand of civilization has fallen but lightly') is having a rash of saber-toothed tiger sightings!  At first these are laughed off, but when the game warden himself sees one cross the road in the middle of the night, it's time to do something about it.  The warden shows a cast pawprint to Dr. Ross Harkness in Los Angeles, who is interested enough to come up and see for himself. Local Mad Scientist Dr. Groves pooh-poohs the whole thing, which is enough to tell me that we're not dealing with a local cryptid here.  Somebody is making prehistoric monsters.
So... I may not have actually run out of movies, but I seem to be running out of plots, because this is a remarkably similar movie to Monster on the Campus. The major difference between the two films is that Dr. Blake turned himself into a caveman by accident, while Dr. Groves here is doing it on purpose.
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Another difference is that Monster on the Campus' story, while silly, was linear – events escalated in a way that felt logical, and there were reasons why things happened when and where they did.  By contrast, The Neanderthal Man feels like a first draft.  At the beginning of the film, we're dealing with the saber-toothed tigers that Groves has been creating by injecting cats with his de-evolution serum.  We hear about these slaughtering game and livestock, and it seems like only a matter of time before they move on to human beings.  The beginning of the film is quite upfront about the fact that Groves is responsible, too, as it is only mildly mysterious in its depiction of one of the creatures escaping his lab.
Sometimes the saber-tooths are represented by an actual tiger, usually filmed from behind or at a great distance so nobody has to put the prosthetic teeth on it.  They do have prosthetic teeth, but they're only visible in a couple of shots. Imagine being at a bar and some guy tells you his job is sticking fake fangs on real tigers for a caveman movie!  For close-ups, there's a hilarious puppet head that looks like the sort of thing you'd see mounted on a frat house wall as a joke.  The director had the sense not to linger on this in motion shots, but later we see still photographs Groves has supposedly taken of his experimental subjects and they're even stupider-looking than we imagined.
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Anyway, this goes on for a while with rising action, as the game warden goes to get Harkness and they manage to shoot one of the animals, only to have it vanish from the kill site when they try to show it to Groves (the movie never bothers to explain how that happened, incidentally. The ending suggests that the creatures change back when they die, but there's definitely no dead kitty cat at the scene, either).  The whole movie could easily have just had the cats and their creator as the antagonists, perhaps even ending the same way as Dr. Groves proves his work to the other characters by injecting himself. That's not what happens, though.  Instead, the story mostly forgets about the cats one we find out Groves has also been carrying on human experiments.
(Before himself, Groves' first experimental subject was his disabled Latina housekeeper.  Another series of photos show her half-transformed into a cavewoman who for some reason is wearing drag queen false eyelashes.  And as long as I'm talking about the movie being gross and bigoted, there's a bit where a woman is violently raped.  This happens off camera, but the audience is not allowed to entertain any illusions about it.)
The problem is that before we see him give himself an injection in the arm, we have had absolutely no indication that Groves has been giving his serum to anything besides the cats! Cats are stealthy, cryptic creatures and if one of those has been seen wandering around killing things, then surely a full-on caveman beating people to death would not be able to stay out of sight!  If what we were seeing were the first time Groves had tried the formula on himself then that would be an explanation, but his notes reveal that he's been doing it for so long that he's on the verge of losing control of the transformation and permanently reverting to a pre-human status, as indeed he does for the climax.  Much like the stupid dinosaur in The Beast of Hollow Mountain, the movie's main monster is given no build-up whatsoever!
There's worse yet, though.  The main characters, Dr. Harkness and Groves' daughter Jan, are barely involved in the 'caveman' part of the plot. They get phone calls about the various murders that Groves is committing in caveman form, and they snoop around the lab to figure out things the audience already knows.  The same story could have been told without them, perhaps with the game warden and the hunter as protagonists, and it would probably have been more interesting. The script also repeatedly has Dr. Groves wander in and bluster about how the tiger sightings are hallucinations and tall tales, which seems a little unnecessary when we already know he's responsible. The film-makers can't seem to decide whether they want us to know that or not.
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Dr. Groves wears glasses.  Maybe the reason his primitive alter-ego is angry and breaking shit (although it does politely open and close the window it climbs out of, which made me laugh) is because it can't see. This is also my theory about why the Hulk smashes, and what do you know?  In Avengers Endgame he's got Hulk-sized spectacles and only smashes when he's told!
The direction of The Neanderthal Man can probably best be described as 'serviceable'.  It shows us what's going on, but doesn't particularly add anything to the proceedings.  The 'Neanderthal' mask is immobile and uninteresting, not much better than somebody's Party City Sasquatch costume.  Even the eyes are just painted on, meaning the poor guy in the costume can’t do much because he can’t see where he’s going.
The dialogue is often very strange, with characters talking like they're in a Jules Verne novel. If only one person did this, it might seem like a character quirk – it works for Dr. Groves, for example – but it's everybody. Seeing the cat carcass is gone, Harkness declares, “I refuse to believe in the supernatural!  There must be some logical cause and effect to this unholy adventure!”  Groves' fiancee Ruth berates him for ignoring her, saying, “I want you, the man I once knew!  The good companion, the cheerful friend.  I want the happiness we once found in each other.”  It's bizarre to listen to, and often audibly awkward for the actors.
Monster on the Campus was kind of trying to be about how humanity must choose to evolve away from our inner savage, although the finale didn't bear that out.  There's a scene in The Neanderthal Man in which this movie seems to be trying to go in the opposite direction, saying that we were never savage to begin with.  Dr. Groves is speaking to a panel of scientists about the size of the brain in various 'primitive' species of human.  He points out that by the time we reached Homo erectus we were already working with four times the cerebral jelly of a chimpanzee, and argues that our ancestors would have been recognizably human in their behaviour and problem-solving capacity.
(Amusingly, his chart of human evolution includes Piltdown Man, which was proven to be a hoax literally a few months after this movie's release.  What makes this even more tragic for the writers is that their list of primitive humans seems to be the only place where they actually did any research.)
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The problem with Dr. Groves' theory is that he already knows it's wrong. We soon learn that he's been experimenting on himself with his serum for a while already, and his notes show that he knows very well he regresses into a near-mindless animal.  The movie does not even try to reconcile these ideas.  If Groves were continuing his experiments in the hope that perfecting his serum would give him a more accurate reconstruction of ancient man, that would be one thing, but the script never goes there.
So now that we've had two 'man turns into caveman by injecting science juice' movies, of course I have to ask which one is better.  Monster on the Campus wasn't a good movie but it was definitely an improvement on The Neanderthal Man in several respects, and although I don't have any way to find out for certain, I suspect it was an intentional remake.  It's definitely more entertaining and gets bonus points for including the Meganeura dragonfly, but nothing in it is nearly as funny as The Neanderthal Man's fake tiger head.  I guess if you're gonna watch one or the other, stick to Monster on the Campus, but if you're gonna watch both, start with The Neanderthal Man and do them in chronological order, the better to spot the inspirations and references.
Before I go, a fun paleontology fact: current thinking is that the saber-toothed cat's eponymous fangs actually didn't show when it had its mouth closed!  There are zero cave paintings or ancient sculptures of a saber-tooth cat with teeth visible, and when scientists looked at the structure of the enamel in the canines, it suggested that in life the teeth were hidden by big, fleshy, St Bernard jowls.  Google 'smilodon lips' and behold how this looks fully three hundred percent more ridiculous than you're imagining.  I love nature.
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lokis-army-77 · 3 years
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If You Please
Chapter six
Bucky Barnes x Reader
Word Count: 3280
I'm bad at writing descriptions, so this is basically a reader insert into The First Avenger and then we'll see how it goes from there.
Warnings: Canon typical violence
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It had been almost five months since I had left for London. Five months without Steve and nearly six without Bucky. I knew Steve had been traveling the country doing musical numbers to help sell war bonds, something I would have to tease him about later. He was here in the camp today and I had plans to go visit him when I was finished with my work. Peggy and I had been gathering intel on the movements of HYDRA, and there were signs that Dr. Zola had been using American POWs as experiments for his own super-soldier serum. We had arrived in Northern Italy about two weeks ago, there was a Hydra base a few hours away that we were keeping an eye on. We had reason to believe that Zola had moved to the base some time ago.
I was sitting at my desk scanning through some files when Peggy burst through the tent and into the makeshift office. I looked up at her questioningly. “You aren’t going to like this,” she said and handed me a small yellow telegram. I opened it and quickly read the contents.
107th infantry captured by HYDRA. Heavy casualties. Azzano, Italy.
I felt time stop as I read and reread those few words. Bucky was in the 107th. I quickly sprung to my feet and headed for the tent opening. Before I could cross the threshold Peggy grabbed my arm. “Let go of me Carter, I have to go save him,” I said, yanking my arm away, with little to no effort.
“Would you stop for a second?” She grabbed my arm again. “You can’t go rushing into this, you need to think carefully. You can’t just waltz into a HYDRA base by yourself, it's madness.”
“Yes, I can. Now let go of me.” I yanked my arm out of her hold and reached over to the coat rack next to the opening of the tent and grabbed my jacket. It had started raining an hour ago and the dirt paths had become small pools of mud but I didn’t care. I ran quickly through the rain toward the stage on the other side of the camp, Peggy right on my tail. The mud made it harder to run as fast as I wanted to, I had almost fallen twice. When I made it to the stage no one was in sight. I jogged around to the back and looked all over until I saw Steve in a corner with his sketchbook in hand.
“Steve,” I called out, quickly making my way to him. He looked up from his sketch and smiled at me.
“Hey Kid, I didn’t know you were here. It's good to see you.” he walked toward me and gave me a hug, which I returned but abruptly pulled away. He gave me a concerned look when I stepped back. “What's the matter? You usually like my hugs.”
“Steve now really isn’t the time for hugs. We just received a telegram, Bucky's regiment has been captured by HYDRA. I’m not sure if he was captured with them but if he was I’m going to get him and I need you with me.” I watched as his eyebrows furrowed. His face contorted with emotions. He grabbed my hand and pulled me out of the stage tent and soon we were running to Colonel Philip's tent.
Steve barreled into the tent and went up to Colonel Philips. “I need to see the casualties list from Azzano.”
The Colonel looked up from his desk and shook his head at Steve. “You don’t get to give me orders boy. Now go on,” he said and started to go back to what he was doing.
“I just need one name, Sir. Sergeant James Barnes of the 107th.”
Colonel Phillips' eyes widened a bit and he looked at Peggy and me. “I’m going to have a conversation with you two that you won't enjoy,” he scolded and shook his pen at us.
I stepped forward to be beside Steve. “Sir, we just want to know if he’s alive,” I pleaded.
“His name is B-A-R-” Steve started to spell off Bucky’s last name.
“I can spell,” He spat sarcastically. He got up from his chair and paced to the table behind him. Holding up a handful of letters he stopped. “I have signed more of these condolence letters today than I care to admit. I'm sorry for both of you but the name does sound familiar.” I took in a small gasp of air and my face fell.
“What about the prisoners? Are you planning to rescue them?” Steve asked with more concern in his voice.
“The plan’s called winning the war.” Philips quipped out.
“But Sir. If you know where they are why” Steve was cut off.
“They’re thirty miles behind the lines. Through some of the most heavily fortified territory in Europe. We’d lose more men than we’d save. I don’t expect you to understand that, because you are a chorus girl.” A thick silence could be felt when Philips stopped talking.
“I understand it just fine Sir,” Steve said in contempt.
“Then I suggest you get going. From what I understand, you have somewhere to be in the next 30 minutes.”Colonel Philips said as he walked off.
“Yes Sir, I do,” Steve replied and stormed out of the tent. I looked past where he had been standing and looked at the map that was off to the side and realized that Steve had seen where the HYDRA base was pinpointed. I ran out after him.
I caught up to him in the backstage tent where he was packing up a bag. I started to grab some of his things and helped. Peggy arrived frantically minutes later. “Are you both planning to walk to Austria?” She asked.
“Yes, If that's what it takes to save him,” I stated.
“You heard the Colonel. Your friend is most likely dead, there’s no point.”
“You don't know that.” Steve countered.
“But you can’t go, The colonel's devising a strategy, if he finds out what,” Peggy starts but Steve cuts her off.
“It will be too late if we wait around for us to win the war, I need to go now.” He grabbed his bag and headed out to one of the jeeps. I stayed behind after spotting a rack with helmets on them. I rushed over and took one with an A painted onto it and then made my way to the jeep as well. I hoisted myself up and into the passenger seat as Steve finished talking with Peggy and she climbed into the back seat. He turned to me and shook his head. “No, get out. It’s too dangerous.”
“I will not. Don't forget we took the same serum, I’m stronger than I look. I can handle it.”
“I said no. I will not be putting you in this type of situation. Even if Bucky is our friend you can't risk your life like this.”
“What and you can? He’s my fiancé and I am coming with you to get him whether you like it or not! Now drive!” I yelled angrily, crossing my arms and turning away from him. I was so angry that I hadn't even noticed what I had let slip.
“Did you just say, fiancé?” I remained silent. I wouldn't talk to him until he calmed down and drove. He sighed and turned the key when he realized that I wouldn't break.
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Peggy directed Steve to the makeshift airport a few miles out from the camp. She had made a call to Howard Stark to have a plane ready for us when we arrived. I kept quiet the whole ride, still upset that Steve thought he could keep me from coming. He tried to ask about Bucky and I’s relationship several more times before we reached our destination but I remained silent.
It was dark by the time we arrived at the airport. Before Steve even stopped the jeep I was already jumping out of the front seat, helmet in hand, and heading to the plane that was waiting on the dirt runway. We found Howard sitting in the pilot's seat smiling over his shoulder at us.
“Thanks for your help Stark, I can always count on you,” I said as I took a seat in the copilot's chair. I looked behind me as Peggy shut the plane door and took a seat in front of Steve in the cabin.
“Now what kind of friend would I be if I didn’t fly you into enemy territory in the middle of the night?” He laughed out, patting my left shoulder. I shook my head and grabbed the set of headphones off the dash and slid them on as Howard started the plane down the runway. When we were up in the air. He spoke again, this time to everyone. “We should be able to get you both right at their doorstep.”
Steve looked up from his hands and called out, “Just get as close as you can.” He then went back to his conversation with Peggy.
I looked over at Howard, who was flipping a few switches. “You know, we're all going to be in some deep shit when this is over and done with. I’m so not looking forward to the very long and stern talking to from Coronel Phillips.”
“Oh don’t worry, he’ll get over it. Especially if you bring back the soldiers and destroy the base. And technically I’m not here, so unless you can give him proof that I'm flying, I’m still in my private lab.”
“You always have a plan to get out of trouble don’t you Stark?” I questioned.
“Mostly,” he replied. Some time passed before he called out, “We’ll be over the drop zone in ten.”
I gave an assertive nod and took my headphones off and placed them back on the dash. Then I grabbed the helmet from beside my feet and secured it on my head.
“Also took the liberty of bringing a couple pistols and ammo for you, Peggy said you didn't have time to gather any supplies.”
I gave him a quick “Thank you” and stood from my seat and went to sit beside Peggy. She handed me the second parachute and I quickly put it on. I reached over to where two pistols in a belt holster were laid out on the seat and brought them closer to me. I undid the clasp that held the belt together and brought it around my waist. I looped the strap through the metal frame and pulled it taught. “I’m all ready,” I reported to nobody in particular.
“Okay then, Here’s the transponder, you’ll need to activate it when you’re ready. It will let us know your location,” Peggy said while handing a small almost palm-sized black box over to Steve. He turned it around in his hands for a second before he called out to Howard to ask if it worked.
“It’s been tested more than the both of you, it should,” Howard called back.
Then out of nowhere we were being shot at. We weren’t even five minutes away from the drop site. Howard started dodging bullets, making the plane shake from the harsh movements. Steve suddenly got up and threw the cabin door open. A strong gust of wind went through the plane, knocking me back into my seat.
“Stop, We're taking you all the way in!” yelled Peggy as Steve got ready to jump out.
“As soon as I'm clear, turn around and get the hell out of here!” he yelled back at her. I started to make my way over to the open door when Howard made another sharp jerk, I braced myself with my feet spread and my hands pressed to the top of the plane.
“You can't give me orders,” Peggy called out over the wind.
Steve just shook his head and said “Yes I can, I'm a captain.” Then he jumped out into the gunfire. I stepped closer to the door and took a deep breath.
“Be careful and don’t die.” Peggy gave me a pat on the back and then I jumped.
I closed my eyes and could hear the wind rushing past my ears. I could feel how cold it was on my face. I let out the breath I was holding then pulled the string to deploy my shute. The wind caught in it and I jerked up. This time Instead of free-falling I was floating down rather peacefully, considering that there were guns being fired in my general direction, but that didn’t last long. The shots followed the plane as it flew further away. I spotted Steve as he descended into a small clearing in the dense forest and maneuvered my parachute to follow. I put my legs out in front of me as I got closer and closer to the ground to get ready to catch myself.
When my feet hit the ground, I leaned back so my momentum wouldn’t flip me head over tails. I skidded to a stop and hastily unclipped my parachute from my back and stood up. Steve motioned for me to follow him into the tree line, and I did.
We walked for almost five minutes when we came upon the outside fence of the HYDRA base. It was crawling with guards walking the grounds. I ducked down behind a tree as several large trucks drove up the dirt road beside us.
I looked to Steve and whispered, “What are we gonna do now?” I saw Steve eye the last truck in the line.
“I’ve got a plan. Follow me.” He slowly got up from his crouched position and ran to catch up with the last truck, jumping into the back. I followed closely behind him and jumped into the back a moment later, landing headfirst into Steve's back.
“Ow, you couldn’t have gotten out of the way?” I fussed as I readjusted the helmet on my head.
“How was I supposed to know you’d come barreling in straight into my spine. I'm the one that should be saying ow.” He argued back. I pushed him out of my way and looked around, my eyes soon landed on the two HYDRA guards sitting at the other end of the truck.
“Uh, hi,” I mumbled. Then within a second, they were both up out of their seats reaching for Steve and me. One of them put their hand on my left shoulder and I grabbed it with my right hand and twisted. I kneed him between his legs when he fell to the ground I gave him a good kick to the head, knocking him out. Reaching down, I grabbed him by the collar and threw him out onto the road along with the guard that Steve had taken down.
I heard talking as the truck drove through the gates of the base. I felt us slowing down and pretty soon the truck jerked into reverse. We both waited in silence to see what was going to happen. I heard some footsteps coming closer to us. Steve, also hearing them, moved over to where the tarp-covered the back of the truck and positioned this shield in front of him. A guard lifted the tarp up and Steve swiftly took the guard out by hitting him with the shield. I came up beside him and stuck my head out and looked both ways, making sure no one would see us leaving the truck.
“This way,” I whispered as I jumped from the back of the truck. “I know where they probably keep the prisoners.” We headed out into the large open yard where several vehicles were being kept. Carefully maneuvering past stationary and moving guards we made our way to the back of the main building. “They’ll be keeping them in the lower levels. There should be several staircases leading to the main basement level out here, we just need to find one.” I said over my shoulder to Steve who was directly behind me.
It took no time at all to find one of the staircases and descend into the darkness. I spotted a door at the bottom of the stairs and went to open it but it was locked. I looked over to Steve who moved in front of me to look through the window of the door. He tapped on it twice and when the door was opened by a guard he slammed it onto the man's head. The man fell to the ground unconscious and I nimbly slipped over him and through the door. Reaching to my right thigh I grabbed the pistol out of the holster. They were only to be used as a last resort, but with this building being as big as it was, there was no telling what trouble we would run into.
Steve took the lead onto the large factory floor. We passed hundreds of what I assumed to be nuclear bombs, which were in various stages of development. I couldn't believe my eyes. HYDRA had been able to make multiple high-tech bombs and back in the states, the Manhattan Project was still ongoing. We kept walking until an unmanned workbench came into sight. There was a glowing circular ring on the table, surrounded by what seemed to be high-tech hand grenades. Steve and I both grabbed one, looked at it, and then shoved them in our pockets.
“Steve, I think the entrance to the basement cells is this way,” I whispered, pointing over to a set of stairs a few feet away from us. We sprinted to them and started down. After making it down three flights the stairwell opened up to a large dark room with bared holes in the floor. “This is where they are being kept. There’s one guard in here, so you take him and I’ll go down to the next floor.” Steve nodded. Slowly he crept up behind the guard and I turned to go down to the next floor where the cells were located. I heard the guard fall and the jingle of keys as Steve took the guard out.
“Throw the keys down and I’ll start unlocking the cells,” I called out and jogged down the line of cells to where Steve stood, staring down through the bars. He tossed the keys down to one of the men and they handed them to me after I put my pistol back in its holster. I unlocked a few of the doors before I took the other keys off the chain and handed them out to some of the soldiers so they could help free the others faster. When they were all out of the cells I made my way to where Steve was.
“Is there anyone else? We’re looking for a Sergeant James Barnes.” Steve questioned the men around him.
The one in a red beret spoke up, “There’s an isolation ward somewhere here in the factory, but no one has ever come back from it.”
“Okay men, the tree line is northwest, about 80 yards past the gates, after that follow the creek to the clearing. You need to get out fast. We will meet you there when we get everyone we can find out,” I order out to the group of men.
“Do either of you know what you’re doing?” asked one of the men at the front.
“Sure we do, I’ve knocked Adolf Hitler out over 200 times.” Steve started then turned to run back to the stairs and I followed suit.
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Tag list:
@ginger-swag-rapunzel
@underc0vercryptid-reads
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The Little Vampire ➡️ The Vampire Brothers Plotbunnies
RuDony    
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GregAdam
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Instead of Gregory getting hit by Rookery’s light, it’s Rudolph.
Gregory is the one who follows him.
Gregory is “19” in a sense
Rudolph is “15” in the same sense.
Adam and Tony are 15 years old.
So aged Up. I don’t know Gregory’s age from 2017 movie so he could be aged up, aged down or whatever here for all I know.
Tony’s parents have been dead for years.
Adam’s family has taken him in, Tony being the first to become Adam’s friend even before Adam got popular due to his “Big foot” gene.
Tony’s into Urban legends and Cryptids so he’s usual hobby is to go hunting for where they’re rumored to hide.
Adam usually comes along to humor him. At least now with his abilities he can make it easier to escape if needed.
Since Gregory was the one not incoherent from injuries sustained, he had the good sense not to return to the catacombs and lead Rookery to where the rest of the clan were.
At the chase though, they ended up crashing into a camp site where Adam and Tony were.
Tony had been psyched to meet actual vampires.
Adam less than psyched, holding the scruff of Tony’s hoodie to prevent him from getting near the two undeads.
Rudolph and Gregory, of course, are wary of the two mortals.
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The wariness was is lessened to an extent when Tony’s quick thinking managed to help lead the monster hunters astray.
Adam and Tony were in Germany together for vacation. There’s been a mixed up so the Harrison parental’s flight is in a week after the boys.
The Airline offered to pay the excess fees I the lodgings since it was fully booked in flights to be adjusted for them to go together.
(I do not know how airlines work so just pretend these things happen lol)
Once they were in the clear, they had to find a place for Rudolph and Gregory to hide. Luckily, Tony found an abandoned crypt the other day while Adam was back at the bed and breakfast talking to his parents.
Adam’s still not yet sure why he’s actually going along with this. If it were up to him, he would’ve let those hunters know about the vampires. But he didn’t want Tony getting mad at him.
Gregory thought it was a good chance to feed on the mortals while they slept after setting a new camp nearby, and be actual vampires for once. (Tony didn’t want to go back in case the vampires disappeared forever before he really got to ask them things).
Rudolph reprimanded him, saying that they’d be captured by now if not for them.
Tony helps the two vampires find something to eat. That’s why even when they found out they’ve been locked in, Gregory and Rudolph couldn’t break out of the crypt, because their vampire super strength was weakened.
Which was good, in retrospect, when Gregory realized it wouldn’t do to cause a scene especially when they’re hiding from vampire hunters.
Adam didn’t know how he felt about having Tony help them, especially when it meant feeding an animals. Almost like a sacrifice and animal abuse.
Then again, it wasn’t so much different from when humans eat hamburgers, steak and ribs.
Until much later, and the two cows they fed on came back alive as sort of vampires too. So in a way, sort of some differences in that front.
While feeding on cows, Gregory and Adam ended up talking. It started with Gregory finally, and officially, giving his thanks for their help in hiding them especially when Rudolph was injured.
Gregory: He’s been my brother ever since, even before we’ve been turned. It gave me such the fright when he got caught by those beams.
Adam: You were humans?
Gregory: Yes. Orphans, victims of a war. Our clan leader found us left for dead, and decided to turn us. We’ve been with the clan ever since.
Adam: Wow that... That’s not what I’ve expected.
Gregory: If your only reference is this Count Dracula Tony goes on about, I’m not surprise. You’ve been friends with him long, I take it?
Adam: Yes. He’s been my only friend until much recently. After I’ve gotten some others when they find that my other abilities cool, but Tony’s the only one who’s been there even before. You could say I kinda see him as a brother too.
Gregory: He is a nice mortal... You’re a nice one too... For a mortal.
Adam: Thanks... I think.
Gregory: Much obliged.
Adam: ...
Gregory: ...
Adam: Hey, I have an idea. If you’re up for it. (refer to this Headcanon)
Meanwhile, Tony and Rudolph are exchanging questions with each other. During this conversation, Rudolph tells Tony that if he ever needed help, he could just whistle and Rudolph would come help, so long it wasn’t day because then the sun would get him.
Tony didn’t have a heart to remind him that he and Adam were only around temporarily.
Once night falls once more, Rudolph takes Tony flying.
Tony: Next question, can you turn into a bat?
Rudolph: Well, yes and no. Vampires can, but not my brother and I; we weren’t born vampires, you see. Only those who are born vampires can turn into bats, so I can’t.
Tony: Vampires can be born?
Rudolph: Hey, it’s my turn to ask something. Why the interest in the undead?
Tony: I just am, I guess. I mean, most people just... Like things, there isn’t usually a story behind it. Though, there is this one thing my mom telling me my first words were “vam-vam” considering the amount of movies on vampires those who babysitted me watched,
Rudolph: How disturbing. Humans sit on babies? 
Tony: Hey, now it’s my turn with the question. Which was the one I asked earlier.
Rudolph: Yes. And humans sit on babies?
Tony: We do not, it’s an expression for when older people watch and take care of babies. And I want more elaboration on that yes, dude.
Rudolph: Vampire babies are born like humans are, much faster in span though. What takes human years to achieve in an infant’s development, it takes vampire babies months. And once matured, they continue growing but can slowly and they can maintain an age form for however long they want when they’ve finished vampire puberty.
Tony: I see. That’s kinda a shame.
Rudolph: Why?
Tony: I always thought being able to fly was the coolest thing about being a vampire.
Rudolph: Who said I couldn’t fly? *Starts to float*
Tony: WOW! That is so...
Rudolph: Cool?
Tony: Yes!
Rudolph: Want to fly then?
Gregory and Rudolph lost track of time spending it with the humans keeping them in hiding. In fact, they totally forgot of returning to the clan.
It took Anna searching them out. She managed to escape when the monster hunters did happen to find the location of their hide out.
Anna flirts with Tony. For some reasons, this annoyed Rudolph more than it grossed him out.
They made a plan to free the Clan, with them splitting to groups; Rudolph, Tony, and Anna would free the clan while Adam and Gregory distract the monster hunters.
In the process of escaping after liberating the clan, Anna gets hit by the same beam that struct Rudolph before. Tony gets captured in his attempt to give Rudolph an opening to take his sister and escape.
That’s all I got for now. You can drop asks if you like.
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all1e23 · 4 years
Text
Honey & Whiskey [Pt.1]
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Pairings: Alpha!Billy Russo x Omega! Reader
Summary:   Falling was sweeter than honey and warm as whiskey.
Warnings: None for this chapter. Typical A/B/O dynamics.
A/N:  I know I am your dealer for soft Bucky but I’m trying out some new product. Soft Billy Russo. Just take a little taste. I promise It’s worth it. This is largely a self-indulgent fic and also for my beautiful beta @moonbeambucky​​. If you like it write me a book report, sing me a song or come scream at me.
***My fics are not to be saved or posted on any other sites without my written permission. Reblogs are my jam, though! Thanks!****
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You heard his car in the driveway before you caught the sound of the front door. This probably wasn’t the way to handle something like this. Prominent families didn’t behave like this. They didn’t cause a scene, and they certainly didn’t question a match this good. It was hard enough to find an Alpha that came from a good family, but one who wasn’t a complete knothead and genuinely cared for you? That was next to impossible. You managed to find that one in a million, and here you were pulling a stunt like this.
When you were a little girl, you read stories about the princess finding her prince, being saved from the tower, and living happily ever after in a big castle. So, you waited for your very own to come. You waited and waited by your window, but your prince never showed. You stayed locked in your tower with no sign of a savior. As you became older, you realized you didn’t want to be rescued, taken from one dungeon, and moved to another. You could take care of yourself without an Alpha there to defend your heart and fight the evil queen on your behalf.
Turned out you could handle her on all on your own.
Then you met James one evening at a friend’s wedding. He was sweet. Dark hair, blue eyes, and a charming crooked smile. He offered to buy you a drink and didn’t flinch when you reciprocated with the second. It was easy with James right from the start, and your parents were thrilled. They were simply over the moon. He came from a long line of senators, and his family were members at the club where your father plays golf. Everything was perfect. It was all working out the way it was supposed to, and in one short week, you would be married and bonded to James.
In the two years you’ve spent together, James has done everything he could to make you happy, not once has he abused his authority over you or made you feel as if you were less than him as his Omega. James has never given you a reason to fear him. Everything on the surface was perfect, but if you looked close, the cracks were easy to spot. Your heart had never had cause to race when he was near, and you never did learn what it would feel like to go weak from his touch.
It was doubtful you would ever know what it would be like to tremble from the brush of your Alpha’s fingertips. The odds you would find that love in this lifetime were slim, but if you stayed where you were, there would be no chance.
“Uh, Y/n…’ James stopped in the doorway to your shared bedroom and looked fairly amused, albeit confused by your attire. “What’s going on? Isn’t this bad luck?”
You glanced down at your wedding dress and grimaced. It wasn’t that the dress wasn’t beautiful, it was. It wasn’t you, though. It was huge for starters. Your mother had insisted this was the one from the moment it graced your frame. The skirt was so large you weren’t sure you would make it into the limo Saturday morning, and the bodice and lace sleeves were covered in so many crystals it felt like you were carrying an extra thirty pounds of glitter. This wasn’t the dress you pictured when you spent your days playing princesses in your bedroom, and all of this felt wrong.
You looked back up at your fiance, who was by your side in an instant when he saw fresh tears falling down your cheeks. James quickly wiped them away with only his thumbs. No tender kisses brushed them away, his touch was gentle but not in a way that soothed the restlessness in your soul.
“Do you feel something seeing me in this? I mean, really feel something? Because I don’t feel anything when I put it on. I’ve been trying so hard to feel something, anything but... I don't."
James tossed his keys on the dresser and stuffed his hands in his pockets now that he realized what this was. It wasn’t a simple case of cold feet or some cute moment you were going to bring up at the rehearsal for a quick laugh during toasts. He didn’t look mad, he was disconcerted, and you couldn’t blame him for that.
You didn’t fully understand why yourself, so you couldn’t expect him to.
“Okay. What is this, baby? What’s going on?”
As good and kind as James was, it wasn’t there.
“I’m not in love, and I don’t think you are either.”
The confirmation you needed flashed in his eyes. He didn’t feel it either. You stepped forward and held your hands out for his. James placed his hands in your hands without any hesitation, his fingers tightened around yours the longer the silence stretched between you. He closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and when his eyes opened again, there was something different about them. They were filled with acceptance and a little bit of relief you knew he wouldn’t want you to see.
“I do love you, and I would take care of you,” James offered as if he was giving you one last opportunity to change your mind. One more chance to do the right thing.
You kissed his cheek and pulled your hand back from his hold, leaving the three-carat oval cut diamond resting in his palm. People lived that lie every day. Your parents, James’s parents, and you wouldn’t be surprised to find out it was the foundation on which most of the marriages you knew were born. Its prevalence among your social status was hefty and typical, but that wouldn’t be fair to either of you.
It wasn't a lie you could spend the rest of your life telling.
“I know, but I want more than that. I want to feel it.”
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“Okay, May. I am out of here,” You chirped. It had been a long, exhausting day. You worked a double shift after one of the other waitresses, an Omega, called out claiming she was in heat, but this was her third heat in four months. It was entirely possible that she was being truthful and not using her designation to get extra days off so she could play house with that Beta she’s been dating since Halloween. Maybe she was a medical marvel, and her heats really did come three times as often as every other Omega on the planet.
All you knew for certain? Your bed was calling your name, and you could not wait to get out of this diner.
“The rush seems to have died down, and I am dead on my feet, so I’m leaving before we get the late dinner crowd, and you beg me to stay.”
“Yeah, yeah. Always complaining,” May teased with a grin and a motherly gleam in her eye. “Take your cut from the tips, and then I want you to eat and get some sleep. You can come in for the dinner shift tomorrow.”
“You gonna clear that with Roger?”
May rolled her eyes at the mention of your boss; Alpha and every bit the knothead prick.
“I’ll deal with him. Don’t you worry about it.”
"Hey, Y/n.” You glanced at Karen, who had a taunting smirk making her pale cheeks flush, she was pointing to the far back of the diner with her order pad, and she mocked with a teasing grin, “Look who it is! Your boy arrived just in time to see you off."
Your eyes followed her bright purple pen, and your knees went weak the moment you laid eyes on him. You didn’t know he was coming tonight. It’s been four days since you last saw his pretty face (not that you were counting or anything!), and you hadn’t realized how much you missed him until that moment. The handsome, dark-haired Alpha was sitting at one of your usual tables and looked uneasy, his leg was bouncing up and down at a vigorous pace, his dark blue hoodie pulled up over his head, and he was wringing his hands together as he scanned the small diner for you -- what you hoped was for you anyway.
"Don't get any ideas about that, Alpha." May Parker huffed.
The older Omega was a little cynical from the cards life had dealt her, and from the second you showed up looking for a job, she took it upon herself to look after you the way a mother would. It wasn't as if your mother had any interest in your life at the moment, not after you embarrassed her and left a black smear on your family’s name. A mark didn’t suffice for the choices you made. Your actions affected everyone in the family, bled onto the very fabric your ancestors stitched together, and made a tear that thread and needle could never mend. Apparently, you should have married even though you weren’t in love and simply found a way to fall in love with James after vows and rings were exchanged.
At least May understood your choice, and you couldn’t blame her for the fire in her eyes and the ice in her touch when it comes to Alphas; life had not been kind to her. Despite losing her true mate at a young age, only to end up with a sad stand-in for the man she lost. He abused his designation and using it to control her and her son. It took years to rid herself of him, but she built a nice life without him. She obtained assistance from an Omega Shelter, went through therapy to break their bond, and even bought a place of her own. Even after all the good that has come over the last seven years, the clouded memories have left her jaded and wary.
"You need to find someone that will take care of you, and he's not it. You stay away from Billy Russo, you hear me? He's not a good Alpha. I’ve known him longer than you have.”
That was true. You’ve only been in the city for eight months and working at Sunrise Diner for seven. Billy was a customer long before you came around, but according to Karen, he would pick up an order to go, barely spoke to anyone, and never tried to get a table. May didn’t know him any better than you did. It wasn’t as if they had some long-standing relationship or history. You were grateful for the advice, but you could make your own judgments.
You’ve let someone else be your eyes and voice for far too long, and you weren’t about to allow yourself to repeat past mistakes.
Billy finally found you standing behind the counter, and the second your eyes locked his own lit up, his legs settled, and the smile on his face just about knocked you over. Your smile widened as you stared at each other for what felt like ages.
"Y/n, are you listening to me?” May snapped her fingers in front of your face, forcing your eyes to focus on her.  “He's trouble. Ex-marine with more issues than one person can handle."
You tossed your apron under the register in the black bin that held all the dirty smocks for the night. You glanced at your reflection in the silver napkin holder, resting in the order window and swore under your breath. Your hair’s frayed and sticking out every which way, and your lip gloss faded the first hour into your shift. It was too late to do anything about that now. Not with May watching your every move and Billy sitting so close, his eyes trained on you now that he found you.
Having Billy watch you fix your lipstick because he came in would be an embarrassment you wouldn’t survive.
"That's why he should have someone he can lean on. We are friends. I have a feeling he needs someone that won’t judge him for a past he can’t change.”
"Trouble,” May huffed. “You're asking for trouble."
You practically skipped over to the table Billy sat at. Same one as always. The booth at the far back of the bright restaurant where he had a view of the bathrooms and the front door. He always sat with his back against the wall, and every few minutes, his eyes wandered over to the exit door on his right. You didn’t know what happened, but you knew it was enough to keep him on edge at all times.
"Hey, Stranger."
Billy's near-black eyes looked brighter now that you’re near, and he gave you that toothy grin that made your stomach flip.
"Hey, sunshine.”
Sunshine.
Billy has called you that from the moment you met, you weren’t sure why, but it made your heart race every time it rolled off his tongue. You have to admit you didn’t hate the feeling.
"You haven't been in for a few days. I was starting to think the mac and cheese scared you off."
That wasn’t really true. Though, you did question the state of the mac and cheese on a regular basis. The way the noodles all stuck together in that round ball wasn’t natural. This was more about you than sticky elbow pasta goop. You were slightly worried that he may have started seeing an Omega and would no longer be coming by for these late-night visits. Not that it was any of your business. It’s not as if you’re bonded or even potential mates. You haven’t spent a moment with  Billy outside this diner. You had not an ounce of claim on him, and you certainly didn’t have a say in who he spent his days with -- or his nights.
Billy let his hood fall back, and he ran a hand over his buzzed hair. His scars were no longer as angry and red as they were when he first came in on that rainy Tuesday afternoon seven months ago. You can still recite every word he said to you that day like some silly school girl daydreaming about the cute boy in study hall. Some nights you did just that, on evenings when he didn’t come by or stayed far too late and left your heart aching for another ten minutes.
Scars or no, he was still the most handsome Alpha you had ever seen.  
"Yeah, I'm sorry about that. I, uh, it's been a tough few days is all, and I haven't had a second to come in."
You eyed him for a long minute, and you realized what he meant by a tough few days. More like it smacked you right in the face -- rut.
Did he share his rut with someone?
No. No, probably not.
Billy didn’t seem to give his trust freely, so you doubted he called a Service Center to help him through his rut. That didn't mean he didn't have an Omega in his life, one he trusted enough to share it with. It shouldn’t matter if he did, so why did you want to know so badly? It would be easier if you could simply scent him to find out. That’s what you wanted to do. You were aching to scent him right there in the middle of the damn diner in front of Karen, May, and anyone else that wanted to stare. You wanted to be sure there wasn’t a hint of another Omega anywhere near him, maybe leave a little bit of you on him.
What the hell was wrong with you?
You’ve never been this possessive before. Even with James, you never cared if he came home smelling like another Omega. Hell, you never gave it a thought. Billy wasn’t yours, and you needed to remember that.
"I’m glad you’re back. I missed you."
Billy tried to fight off his grin. He tried hard, but it still showed up brightly enough to make you simper. He must have liked that because his scent sweetened, and it was so thick it had your knees shaking. You stood up as straight as you could and locked your knees. Letting your legs give out over some handsome Alpha like a stereotypical Omega would be a shame you could never come back from.
"Is that right?" Billy drawled, smirking as he took in the tremble in your knees and the honey sugaring your scent.
"Yeah, you're my favorite customer,” you answered with a slight shrug. Billy chuckled and ducked his head to hide the pink spreading from his cheeks down his neck, but you caught the rosy hue regardless.
"Favorite." He recited the word as if he didn't like the way it tasted on his tongue like he was confused as to why you would use that word in association with him.
"Without question,” you assured him.
The hesitation in his eyes and confusion had your heart breaking. Someone along the way, recently or long ago, made him feel as though he wasn’t worthy of being someone’s favorite, of being that important to someone. The thought made your gut clench in the worst way. Billy was more than deserving of that title.
"So, I'm about to get off. My shift actually ended about ten minutes ago. Well, technically, my shift ended at two, not eight, but one of the girls is out making medical history, so here I am."
"Oh,” Billy murmured. He was disappointed, that was plain to see. The light in Billy’s eyes instantly faded, and he began to slide out of the booth. You had a feeling if he left now, he would end up picking tacos off the dollar menu at some fast-food chain, eating all alone back at his place. You couldn’t have that now, could you? Besides, friends have dinner together all the time. Isn’t that what Karen told you every time she had dinner with Frank?
Yes, friends could have dinner together, and it didn’t have to mean more than noodles and cheese.
”I can- I'll go eat somewhere else. I don’t want to keep you if you’re going home.”  
You rested your hand on his shoulder to keep him from sliding out past you and shook your head, still smiling down at him. "Oh, no, you don’t. Unless you want to leave, of course. Food here isn't great."
Billy looked up at you, and his eyes have gone dark again, but it wasn’t in the way you liked. He was struggling to figure out what he wanted to say. You could see the moment Billy gave in to whatever it was, he was wrestling with and confessed, “I don't come here for the food.”
Your heart was pounding so hard you swore you could hear it in your ears. No doubt, Billy could pick it up in your scent. You never considered buying suppressants until you met Billy Russo. Then again, there were a lot of things you never considered until you met him. You blew out a shaky breath, and your words came out in as a stuttering mess, "Then… w-why do you come h-here?"
Billy held your gaze but didn’t elaborate further. It was probably for the best. If he had said what you thought could be the reason you might have melted right there at his feet and would have been forced to quit your job citing irremediable humiliation.
"Okay, um, well, I maybe thought I could eat with you? I haven't eaten since this morning, and I've been working all day, so I’m starving."
Billy frowned at that, and he quickly pressed for more, "You haven't eaten all day? So, that means you worked all day without taking a break?”
"Yeah, it happens. Some days it's really busy, and I don't get a second. Roger, our boss, he’s not great at following labor laws. If things get busy like they were today, there is no way he’s letting me take a break.”
If it was possible, Billy’s eyes blackened, and his normal candied scent turned sour. It was a subtle change to the whiskey and brown sugar scent you’ve come to know. He wasn’t on blockers, nor were you, it made his feelings easy to read. You weren’t sure he liked that fact at the moment. The scrunch of his nose and the wrinkle in his brow said he was trying to control his feelings to keep them hidden from you, or maybe he was attempting to understand whatever feeling was jumbled in his head.
“I don’t-- I don’t like that. You should be getting breaks so you can eat. You have to eat.”
You didn’t like it either, but there was little you could do. You had no way to prove that Roger refused to let you take breaks, and it wasn’t like he said he would fire you if you went on break. It only was heavily implied, and he knew when to use an Alpha command, with the tiniest drop in his voice, he had Omegas scampering to do as he wished. Thankfully, you have yet to be on the receiving end, and you had no intention of experiencing it. You needed this job whether or not Billy approved of your break schedule. You couldn’t do anything about Roger or your schedule, but you might be able to fix Billy’s spoiled mood and catch another glimpse of his pretty smile.
"How about you feed me then?" You suggested with a grin.
Billy’s frown quickly faded into a crooked smirk, a gentle chuckle followed, and everything turned sweeter. Whenever Billy was smiling, there was a little more sugar and a little less whiskey floating nearby, and it often left your head spinning for days after. You’ve never been one to fall for a sugar rush over a whiskey high -- until now.
"Okay, Sunshine. I can do that. Do you want to eat here or somewhere else?"
"Where are you most comfortable?"
"Where am I most comfortable…” Billy repeated the question, brows furrowed in thought, and he responded without thinking, “I’m most comfortable when I’m with you."
Billy quickly realized that was not what you meant when he looked up to see your eyes widen.  He cleared his throat and sat up straighter as he tacked on an addendum, hoping you would ignore his first admission. "Nowhere that’s loud. Or, um, crowded. I’m not great in large rowdy groups. I need a place I can sit like this. My back against the wall and know my exits."
You knew that already and now you were mad at yourself for making him admit it out loud, but you had to confess not all of his revelation sounded so bad.
"I'll tell you what I live right around the corner. How about you come over, and I'll make you dinner?"
Inviting an Alpha you barely knew back to your place wasn’t the smartest thing you’ve done. Everyone knows, Omegas at least, you never tell an Alpha your address until you’re courting, and you know what kind you’re dealing with. You couldn’t explain why but your heart and your head were telling you to trust him and when they agree on something you listen.
“You want me to come back to your apartment?”
Billy seemed to be questioning your judgment, but nothing felt wrong about having Billy in your home.
“Only if it will make you feel more comfortable. If not, I know a pizza place a few blocks away, but we will have to catch a cab.”
You truly didn’t mind either way as long as Billy was comfortable. He took a few thoughtful seconds before he nodded. “Your place is okay. If you’re sure, you want me to know where you live.”
You grinned and stepped back so he could stand. “Let me grab my purse, and I’ll meet you by the door, okay?”
Billy didn’t have a chance to answer because you were bounding off towards the counter and the group of nosy Omegas watching you both with interest. Billy stuffed his hands in the pockets of his hoodie, watching you share a few hushed whispers with the older woman behind the register.
“You’re leaving together? Y/n, this is not a good idea. Why can’t you stay here together where we keep an eye on you? It would be safer that way.”
“I said I’m fine. I don’t need you to look after me just because I’m an Omega. I can handle myself, and I can handle Billy.”
“He’s not what you think. I only want you to be careful.”  
You jerked your jacket out from under the counter and slipped your arms into the black puffy arms. You were already done with this. She didn’t know Billy any better than you did. Maybe she saw some things, or he came off like a typical asshole Alpha once when they first met, but the only conversation they have had revolved around grilled cheese sandwiches and you. You stopped in front of May, and you couldn’t keep the ice out of your voice even if you had wanted to. “Did you ever stop to think that maybe he’s not what you think? I’ll see you tomorrow. Have a good night, May.”
Billy glanced over your shoulder and back at you as you approached. “Everything alright over there?”
“Oh, you know.” You shrugged as you stepped out the door Billy was holding open for you. “Co-worker drama.”
There were tiny bits of moonlight shining down on the sidewalk next to you. It was awkward at first. This wasn’t your normal dynamic. Billy came in and ordered the same grilled cheese and fries every night; not that you could blame him for that, it was probably the only edible thing on the menu. You would make some cute comment about melted cheese and Billy would give you that smile that set skin on fire, he left a tip that was always triple the cost of the tiny sandwich and promised to see you real soon. You knew the risks that came with what you were doing. You are breaking the first rule they teach you in Orientation class, but you didn’t care, and it didn’t scare you.
Billy didn’t scare you.
“You know you really shouldn’t invite Alphas you don’t know back to your apartment. It’s not safe. I could be anyone. I could be some asshole Alpha using that sweetness in your heart to take advantage of you.”
Maybe that was the thing that should scare you -- your blind trust for an Alpha you barely knew.
“No, you’re not, Billy.”
“Yeah? How do you know that, Sunshine?”
Billy was teasing you, the mile-wide grin on his face told you so. You shook your head and matched his smile. The answer was pretty simple, really. It was the one thing missing with James. You felt the tension in your shoulders lift, and you told him the only thing about tonight that mattered.  
“I can feel it.”
Masterlist // Part 2
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scribeofred · 3 years
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Thanks to @onereyofstarlight for the tag!
 1. What fandoms have you written for?
This is embarrassing but I actually had to look at both FFnet and AO3 because I couldn’t remember all of them. TRON: Legacy, Assassin’s Creed, Star Wars, Lord of the Rings and the Hobbit, Sherlock, Final Fantasy VII and XV and Kingsglaive, Voltron: Legendary Defender, Merlin, Skyrim, and, of course, Thunderbirds. I have a couple other fandoms that crop up in various wips, including a Tom Swift/Thunderbirds crossover that I really should finish.
2. How many works do you have on AO3 &/or FFNet?
FFnet has 45, and AO3 has 41. There’s also a couple stories lurking on tumblr, notably a final chapter for Reflection.
3. What are your top 3 fics by kudos on A03 &/or Favs on FFNet?
AO3 dominates in this area, if I can use a word like “dominates” for stories that have less than 125 kudos each haha. Oh well, the numbers don’t matter!
1.     118 kudos on tell the shades apart (my world is black and white)
2.     94 kudos on Reflection
3.     91 kudos on The 43rd Hour
4. Which 3 fics have the least kudos & Favs?
Again on AO3:
1 kudos on I Am You (And You Are Me)
5 kudos on The Dragonborn Chronicles
6 kudos on cynosure
5. Which Fic has the most comments and which has the least?
Reflection has the most at 29 threads, and I Am You (And You Are Me) has the least at zero.
6. Which complete fic do you wish had gotten more attention?
Lodestar, definitely. Sure, it’s for something of a rarepair, but they aren’t that rare, and I just really really like the way the story came together. On the other hand, of course my unfinished Merlin fic has gotten probably the most attention, because that’s just the way it goes, eh?
7. Have you written any crossovers?
None that I’ve published! I have various crossovers lurking in mostly unfinished states, including the aforementioned Tom Swift/Thunderbirds crossover, and an Assassin’s Creed/Thundeerbirds crossover that is very good and I should also finish. There’s an Expanse/Thunderbirds fic lurking in my brain that I may or may not ever commit to paper, who knows. I’ve also very vaguely toyed with a Batman/Thunderbirds crossover, in the sense that “nebulous” is too strong a word for the kind of toying I’ve been doing.
8. What is the craziest fic you’ve written?
I don’t really write crazy or crack or humor in general, so probably the closest thing to “crazy” is On the Lam, which was the result of wanting to throw Scott and Penelope toward an Egyptian stud farm. It ended up being the host for a bad joke about that, courtesy of one @thebaconsandwichofregret, who consistently gives some of the best dialogue advice I’ve ever encountered.
Actually, the true answer is probably a chapter in Glimpses into a Supernova, maybe the one about blood? It seems bonkers when I think back on it now, but I admittedly haven’t read it in many years. Possibly I am misremembering. Glimpses has some weird ones, though.
9. What’s the fic you’ve written with the saddest ending?
It’s a tossup between The Painting and a place where the water touches the sky. The former deals with a prior off-screen death; the latter is (maybe??) an on-screen death. People seemed upset by it, at any rate. I said it was ambiguous!
10. What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?
“Happy” is probably a matter of perspective? Depends on the overall reading experience and the ending within that context. Either septet or Three Towels and a Tracy, they’re both pretty fluffy overall.
11. What is your smuttiest fic?
protoinstincts, which I completely forgot I wrote and then rediscovered like a year later and realized “hey, this is actually pretty good” and you know what, despite it not being overly spicy, it is pretty good.
12. Have you ever received hate on a fic?
Not hate, per se, but someone left a review on Less Than Nothing saying they “didn’t like” that I “wrote the story as a series of drabbles.” Cool, I didn’t write the story for you, random guest reader, and the back button exists, friend 😂 It didn’t bother me on a personal level because I wrote the fic for an audience of one (incidentally, not myself and rather the recipient of a secret santa event), but I was mad because the reviewer had no way of knowing where I was at as a writer, and I know from longtime observation how that kind of comment can crush less experienced or confident writers.
Don’t leave flames, kids, you don’t understand the power your words have. Don’t like, don’t read.
13. What is the nicest comment you’ve received?
The nicest? Goodness. Hmm. I’d have to go hunting to find the nicest, but in recent memory, @ayzrules sent me a couple passages from Spanish texts she’s been studying that reminded her of my writing, and I was honestly so touched by the fact that she even thought to make such comparisons, much less mention them to me. Taking the time to familiarize yourself with someone’s style until you can make comparisons between it and someone else’s work is so much more meaningful to me personally than a basic “Nice story!” or “Loved this!” type of comment ever could be. <3 Ayz <3
14. Have you ever had a fic stolen?
Not that I’m aware of, but I’ve never gone looking on any sort of copycat site or whatever either.
15. How many fics do you have marked as incomplete?
Two. First is The Dragonborn Chronicles, which is a retelling of Skyrim from Lydia’s perspective via her journal, to complement the in-game journal. It’s a slog of a style to write, though, even for someone who loves writing first person and doesn’t really want to write a lot of dialogue, and the outline is huge, and the story will be many times more huge, and just. Some day. Some day.
Second is tell the shades apart (my world is black and white), which has always been unfinished because the outline itself is over seven thousand words and the fully written story would undoubtedly land between 100,000 and 200,000 words, and there’s no way I’m writing that. I’ve always meant to upload the outline, but I got kind of self-conscious about the way I formatted it, and ugh I just haven’t bothered. One day, one day, right?
Moral of the story is I’m intensely a short story writer, and I’ve really found myself settling into that role over the last couple years. Better a clipped, punchy short story than a bloated slog of an epic.
16. Which of the WIPS will most likely be finished first?
Literally no one knows that. I wrote 95% of the observable entropy of a closed system over five years ago, and then I proceeded to pull it out roughly once a year and write and rewrite various endings until last month, which was when I finally figured out how I wanted to end the story. septet, too, languished for about five years before I finally remembered it existed and managed to wrangle an ending. Endings are hard, man. So are those third plot points. Terrible creatures, those, bog me down every time.
17. Which WIP are you looking forward to finishing?
Uh... mm. See. If I were looking forward to finishing any of them, I’d be actively working on them. At this moment, writing fic isn’t exactly high on my list of priorities, but I am also coming off a four-day idle game bender, so I still feel like I haven’t quite reengaged with myself as a living person. Give me another few days and I might have an answer.
(I am always most looking forward to finishing this ridiculous Ignis-drives-the-Audi-R8 fic that’s been languishing in my wips for literal years. As mentioned above, third plot points. Killer, man.)
(oh and also the working-titled the art of murder. Scott and Penny attend a private art auction. Things don’t go to plan. It, too, is stuck at the third plot point. I know, I know I have a problem, shush.)
18. Is there a WIP that you’re considering abandoning?
Any wip has the potential to be revived—this year and the old wips I’ve unearthed, dusted off, finished, and posted have been proof of that. I don’t intentionally permanently abandon anything for that reason, some stories just probably will remain dusty old wips forever because I didn’t actually need or want to write the full story for one reason or another.
19. Which complete fic would you consider rewriting?
Now that’s an interesting question. Hmm! Honestly? None of them. Once I finish a story, I’m not inclined toward rereading it again any time soon, to the point of years in some cases, and I feel like I’ve moved on from the stories I wrote one, two, five, eight years ago in the actual writing sense. They’re finished stories, and on top of that are relics of their time, which doesn’t mean the stories don’t have any ongoing significance on a reading level—I just don’t have any interest in rewriting those particular stories. I’ve gotten them out of my head, to the point of not remembering at least a third of them on demand anymore, and I don’t have any desire to “retell” those exact stories. I do tend to tighten the wording and fix perceived errors/weaknesses whenever I do end up rereading an old story, and I usually silently update the AO3 version if I make any significant changes because AO3 makes it a breeze to update a posted fic. I might do FFnet too if I’m feeling up to it or have the time.
20. Which complete fic is your favourite?
Once upon a time I would’ve said Holding On, but I honestly find it kind of unbearably melodramatic now. the observable entropy of a closed system is equally melodramatic, as it was written in the same era, but at least it has the excuse of being told in second person and via a style that is a half step away from being poetry. Possibly I will reread it in a few years and find it equally obnoxious and overly dramatic, but it received some shockingly positive comments, which I wasn’t expecting at ALL, and I’ve been honestly blown away by the amount of praise it’s received. <3 to everyone who’s said anything about it!
21. What’s your total published word count?
141,000 on AO3, 160,000 on FFnet, but technically the light of my life SS wrote fifty thousand words of each. It’s too late for math.
 I tag @velkynkarma, @lurkinglurkerwholurks, @writtenbyrain, @thebaconsandwichofregret, and anyone else who wants to play!
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Witcher of the Night (Chapter 16.1)
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THIS IS MODERN ERA READER WHO WOKE UP IN THE DIMENSION OF THE WITCHER.
UPDATES FOR WITCHER OF THE NIGHT WILL BE PUBLISHED EVERY SATURDAY NOW IN MY TIME (GMT +8) (GUESS WHAT? IT AIN’T SATURDAY TODAY! LMAO)
CHAPTER 16
WITCHER OF THE NIGHT MASTERLIST
Characters: Geralt of Rivia x small!Naive!Reader
Summary: The best part has finally come to an end, life aren’t all smiles and rainbows. Now, here comes the negativity that will surely eat you whole with the life you have with the witcher. 
Warnings: Fluff! Kinda’ Dad! Geralt? Slight. Cirilla being such a sweetheart? Jaskier being Jaskier. Mention of blood. Insecure and overthinking reader. Mention of Yennefer and Renfri. 
Words: 8k+
A/N: This should’ve been posted last saturday. But, life happened so here it is. I should’ve been taking a break but I think I’ll have my break next saturday instead. Think of this as if I just gotten late to post this chapter for you, bb’s! Though, there will be no update on June 27 instead! 
TAGLIST IS STILL OPEN FOR THIS ONE! Heehee! Don’t forget to REBLOG, COMMENT OR GIVE FEEDBACK IF YOU DID LOVE THIS CHAPTER! IT’LL MAKE ME SMILE! Sorry for the grammatical errors and such because English isn’t my mother tongue!
Disclaimer: PNG’s and pictures used in edits are not mine even the GIF’s too. However, the edits and oneshots are definitely from moi.
MY WORKS ARE NOT NOT NOT NOT NOOOOOOT TO BE POSTED ON ANY OTHER WEBSITES. My official username in Wattpad is “TATATHEPOTATO” and that’s the only other site I have for writing aside from Tumblr. Thank you, Tater tots!
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THE DAY AFTER TOMORROW. It was the day where Geralt was back on his wild hunt. He'd procrastinated more than he can ever plead for; taking him days with his family was better than having none as the lone witcher would leave with nothing but his horse and sword like the good ol' days.
Other times, he'd have Jaskier in his trips when the bard was too restless to stay and guard Cirilla---it has been two years for doing so---and he would complain about how tedious Geralt would tell his stories about slaughtering such a specific beast. The toubadour wanted to experience and see everything happen before his eyes regardless of his fear for such. 
Which leaves Cuthbert and his family for taking care of the princess. Besides, Geralt thought it would be better that people wouldn't see Cirilla living in their home from time to time, as it can also complicate how she would be found because she didn't need to be.
But, with you around; there has to be somebody that was needed to guard and take care of his child of surprise; leading the preferable options down to you because you knew how a girl works and how their mind moves rather than with Jaskier who always welcomes him home with arguments about nonsense things together with his child of surprise. Complaining how she'd intentionally stomped on his foot because of how she was confined in their home all the darn times till how his cooking was abnormally awful rather than Geralt's.
No matter how uneasy Geralt was with leaving everyone alone, he needed to sacrifice the worries away for his family and choose the safety for the people. Even if it would take him days to bask in his solitude with Roach whom he would have as his silent companion.
The witcher was getting ready for his hunt today. He was checking on stuffs that were utterly important not to forget. Elixirs. Herbs. Equipment. Weapons. Geralt continued to place his things inside his bag before a soft piece of parchment has brushed off his fingertips, making him stop from rummaging inside his bag to snatch it out.
It was the drawing he retrieved from the gallants he'd fought. The broken sketch of you and him together, taken from being scoured by the royal guards because he was needed for a favor that could help the kingdom and its heir.
Fucking people who kept on needing him all the damn time. He silently spewed blasphemy over and over inside his head for making his life more complex than it ever was with Destiny laughing on his side.
Especially that he was finally accepting what it brings to him. You.
He'd taken one last look on the paper before tucking it inside his bag; in a safe place where it wouldn't be destroyed before he'd heard familiar stealthy footsteps padding closer to where he stood beside his horse.
"Geralt,"
Jaskier has taken what the witcher has fetched him to, showing the contents of what laid on his palms before his brooding friend has taken it with a begrudging look that says he woke up on the bad side of the bed today.
Though, the bard was sure he did because of the perception that he needed to leave you alone in his chambers.
Geralt has given him a sharp look which has taken aback Jaskier who seemed to be surprised in such the break of dawn, ceasing his yawn when he'd received such surprising antagonism. He saw the blank stare he'd given him, thoroughly stupefied from whatever sauciness he was trying to give.
Jaskier could even notice how he was more quiet and grumpier than usual first thing in the morning. An unusual state of the witcher when you came along because he was finally talking more after getting some sleep.
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"What’s going on, Geralt? Did something happened? I thought friends trust each other! You know you can trust me on this---anything! Is Roach dying? do you need another horse?"
The monster-slayer raised a sassy brow at his friend, looking away as he went on to obtain the items that laid on Jaskier's hands. His hands abnormally heavy as their hands grazed each other; letting the bard know that there was something more to it other than the idea that you would be away from him.
"Should I ask you the same thing?" he deeply grumbled, sounding like a snarl that has caught Jaskier off guard.
His talkative friend appeared to be wounded from his silent grudges that he held out for him. Jaskier couldn't help but scrunch his face in utmost perplexity, feeling aggravated for what attitude Geralt has been giving him when all he had been doing was help him in such a crazy, early hour of the morning.
He won't be taking his attitude when he was still heavy-eyed from trying to get his sleep last night. Reasons why he couldn't was because his room was beside yours and the insatiable witcher. Technically, his suggestions that have been approved sometimes hit him in the head like a boomerang; he didn't think it through that his advice can bring him results where he would suffer.
Geralt and his shitty, overly developed libido.
"But, I don’t have a horse! Why are you---Oh! Ohohoho. You were being sarcastic! I know you---know the differences of those monotones of your verbose timbres. Everybody should applaud me for it," Jaskier scornfully laughed, annoyed by how the witcher has been acting. He held onto his hips, shoulders rolled as his head fell back while he sarcastically laughed, feeling the swift breeze of the morning fog giving him a whiplash as Geralt walked pass him to fix Roach's reigns. The toubadour has turned on his heels to see the subtle swerving of topic by staying silent and minding his own business.
"---I'm utterly not in the mood for your grouchy attitude, Witcher! You sound like you are accusing me of something I shouldn’t have done!"
Roach gave a nicker as she heard two friends share their squabbles; being immature over not sharing what one has a problem over the other.
"You sound guilt-ridden." Geralt bluntly stated, ignoring the bard who has sauntered in front of him with an offended face. His friend seem to be lost at words from where ever his hostility is coming from. 
Jaskier tried thinking it through, cocking his head to the side as he stood before the brooding witcher. He hadn't been too intrusive the past few days nor did he try and get his patience boiling. In all honesty, the bard has set a good amount of space around Geralt when you came in their lives. Reaching to the point that Geralt spends his time with you and Cirilla a lot more than him.
Though, there were the times where Jaskier gets to spend more time with you than Geralt when he was being the complicated mutant he is, sharing banters with you that ends up in a wrestling match because of how he kept on spitting jests that rattles the kindness you ought to have.
The witcher knew Jaskier blushed when he’d accidentally tackled you to the ground from choking him with all your might as you used your arms. The bard’s weight bringing you down when he tried battling with your physical blitz of ripostes. Geralt couldn’t help but purse his lips at that as he watched you wrestle with his annoying bard who had a palpitating heart from being flustered over you. 
Jaskier likes you and he was sure about that.
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"W-What---Oh! what a fuckin’ crass you are! What do you even mean?!" he bellowed and stammered, sounding and looking utterly lost. Pretty ocean blue eyes demanding for answers over what grudges he was holding; dramatically raising a hand for thespian gestures.
"Does she look like Booker? No. I suppose not. The cavalier you were fond with was horrible," Geralt sounded too straightforward, never known to sprinkle his words with flowery vernacular that would consider him kind and nice. He gave out a loud, audible sigh; giving him a nonplussed look.
No matter how rude he sounded, his eyes had a look of defiance and understanding. The witcher wasn't mad at the fact that Jaskier has taken a liking towards his midget. No. Geralt knew better than to be enraged over feelings he couldn't control; much so to himself despite of hating the strong feelings he was having over you.
Besides that, Jaskier was his friend. He respected you and Geralt because he knew what was coming forth between the both of you. Like a masochist, even to the point of helping you and the white wolf build the relationship that was bound to happen sooner or later.
Julian Alfred Pankratz just knew you were both endgame from the moment Geralt of Rivia have saved you from those scoundrels. What stated his facts correct was the subtle glimpses that the witcher has been giving you whenever you were around or near their presence; staring when you least expect him to and caring when you needed to be fostered.
Your existence had Geralt thoroughly interested for what and who you were and his friend could visibly see that.
Hence, right at this moment; it was his time to look obvious towards the ivory haired witcher over his one-sided attraction he had for you.
"I should've known, Jaskier. Your gestures aren't exactly subtle."
Geralt shook his head when he lately realized that, clasping a hand over Jaskier's shoulder to give a firm pat; respecting whatever he felt for you. If he wanted to continue those unrequited feelings, it was fine. But, the gesture from him was a silent discussion that he won't be backing down nor stepping away to give the him the opportunity to become what Geralt is already to you.
"I beg your pardon---? Shouldn't you be attacking me with your little tricks already?---I mean, right! Yeah." Jaskier started and stammered at the same time, but was cut off by a terse statement.
"Never leave her side as much as I would."
Geralt gave another light pat to his shoulder before he walked around him, treading over the front door to retrieve two flasks of water and your special Ale that he somehow needed to bring because it reminded of you. The bard trailed behind him, following his footsteps till he was hunched over to get them.
"Geralt, if I may ask---but I hope you wouldn't punch me in the gut after this. The Djinn, obviously was a snake in the lake. What will happen to her now?"
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Jaskier just couldn't help but shut his mouth now, does he? he thought at the back of his mind, silently cursing for even bringing it up for him to remember.
The witcher stood up with a long drag of his breath; sounding surfeited by how his mind worked. He was in deep ponder over knowing that his friend had taken the hots for you too, yet he appeared to sound like he was pushing you away soon that he knew Geralt was thoroughly enamored.
"Now, you want her to go." he deadpanned, nettled by what he was suggesting. His eyebrows tightly crossed together from how cretinous it sounded, "---I've been told by a daft of a bard to keep the rat when I was finding a shitty Djinn,"
Geralt couldn't accept what he was hearing. He didn't need to hear this question especially when he was leaving for a hunt. The latter was finally trying to accept what destiny holds out for him, testing what would happen with you around; thinking if it was even a smart decision for him to not challenge fate for the second time around.
It was probably for the better before any sacrifices can happen. Though, why was he even being questioned when he's finally having momentous moments with you?
Geralt gravelly hummed in displeasure, walking away from his friend as he said out loud with a brooding demeanor, moon over by what questioned he received when he'd only done what everybody wanted from him.
"You smell of heartache, rejection and bewilderment, bard."
Jaskier looked utterly wounded from receiving such spiteful words.
"O-Oh! You just didn't quote me that, witcher! You are beyond frank and hilarious when you are being verbally challenged!"
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He heavily marched towards Geralt, stopping in front of him with his arms dramatically wide open; indignant of how petty he sounded for being asked over a question that was bound to be inquired soon enough because you were a person who came from another dimension that truly exists.
"I was simply asking what you would do when the rat finally needs to come home from where she rightfully belongs! What will happen to her?!----especially, to you, huh?!"
Geralt's eyes were heavy as it landed on him. Brooding. Crestfallen. Enough to say that the concept of it made him even more dejected and disgruntled. The witcher kept his mouth tightly shut, snapping his eyes away to mule over what he said.
You were already a part of his home besides his original family and Geralt didn't know what to do when one person leaves. Again. He was already done with leaving people and it wasn't surprising when karma hits him back as it'll use you as a pawn.
But, he does not opt for it to happen.
Jaskier brought his arms down to his sides. Baby blue eyes narrowed and his eyebrows pushed together to elicit his worry for his friend despite of the real deal that he also had with you.
"----Because apparently, you are in the risk of heartache when the time comes for her to leave. Isn't that right, Geralt?"
The break of dawn is nigh; dark and light colliding to meet the sun as they were finally reaching daybreak from all the fusses that was happening. He should've left before you even woke up, knowing you would be slightly upset as you weren't used to what life he had nor did you exactly have the vivid idea of everything.
You knew nothing at all and soon enough, Geralt was sure it'll kick him in the butt for not saying anything more about their world and for what it holds.
"You aren't just fond of her anymore. It's beginning to grow more than that," Jaskier honestly convinced his theories and observations, pausing to look at Geralt who has given him a tiny quirk of his brow for what he wanted to say, "---Before you tell me that it's because of something the Djinn has cast upon you both, it must be wrong."
Geralt went completely silent; letting Jaskier share his opinions laid out for him to understand, "You risked to appear in front of that wandering vampire that the queen has kept around---" pause. "---risked everything we had, trying to lay low from everyone because our lives are at stake here,"
Jaskier's weight fell on one foot to the other, raising a hand to point at himself as he continued to conclude, "You can fool anyone but me, Geralt. I can see who she is for you,"
"What do you want me to say, Bard?"
He brought a finger up to the witcher, ceasing his temper from bursting out of nowhere, "All I'm saying is that you shouldn't let her go." pause. "---Keep her, because I know you'll think of the greater good and try to fix everything according to your treacherous and foolish plans. Don't let her leave you---don't make her leave us,"
Geralt cocked his head to the side, forehead creased in confusion for the sudden contrast of his advice. His friend was technically not sounding forthright after asking him what his decision was with the involvement of you.
The latter started again, "Choose---" Brusque and impatient. His harsh, clipped tones cut him off. Geralt stated as a matter of fact, "---the lesser evil. So, I've been told."
He rounded up and dragged his feet away from the bard, walking the path back to his horse with a vexed Jaskier who angrily marched to where he was.
"No, you fool!" he ungraciously exclaimed, standing beside Geralt who took Roach's reigns, tugging at it as he motioned for her that it was time for her to gait, taking heavy steps away from their home while Jaskier followed close.
"---choose the greater good; even if the decision makes you selfish, Geralt."
The witcher looked up at the sky, seeing the beautiful sunny color paving its way to greet them a good morning. It wasn't a good morning to him based on how irritating the start of his day began. He stopped his mosey with an evident sigh, letting Jaskier continue to talk.
"---Stop challenging fate before it's too late---you deserve to be happy---surprising isn't it? From a bard who keeps on blabbing horse shite all the bloody time---well, I'm tired of being with a brooding witcher! If it means to be with a rat forever just for you to stop being cantankerous then I'm accepting the sacrifice!"
The bard's voice echoed across the meadow, combining along with the chirping of birds and the strong breeze of the morning wind. Roach was sniffing Geralt when he'd heard that soft padded footsteps jumping down their stairs in a hurried manner. He'd given Jaskier a disappointed look of his golden peepers; his plan now ruined that he would leave without bidding goodbye because of one bard that could always get under his skin for no reason.
"You were saying, bard?"
You were out of the threshold in no time. Hair in a tangled mess from your previous nightly adventures; along with your painted skin that had witcher bites, looking gauche from wearing Geralt's large tunic that ended on your knees with nothing under and a pout drawn to your face as you ran barefoot along the meadow, wildly screaming his name.
"Geralt-of-fucking-Rivia!" you panted and whined, never believing that he was leaving without any form of goodbyes, "---Don’t you dare step a foot! I swear to God, I will cut your majestic white hair when you walk away and I’ll never make you my special ale anymore!"
The threat was loud enough for him to cease his footsteps; plans of irritating you further would never be a good idea especially that he was leaving for a hunt. 
Palms upon your knee, you stood in front of the frowning witcher wearing his black, leather full gear armor; heaving deep pathetic breaths as your hauled over yourself, raising a hand to stop him from leaving.
When you've finally caught your breath, you promptly straightened your back; letting him see your swollen eyes due to sleeping late with probably morning dew slipping a few off the ends of your eyes. He affectionately caught sight of your upset ones; displeased from his sudden flee.
"How dare you leave when you know I don't wake up early like this?---and leaving without a hug!? Seriously, Geralt?!" you declared, obviously unsettled from being fucked the night after without waking you up to say that he was about to leave you for days in a world you hardly know about?
"---What if I don't get to see you again?"
Questions after questions, you demanded answers from Geralt in which it shall never be received based on how he simply watched you raved, feeling the discomfort and worry of leaving his family alone, "What if you never come back?" it sounded like you were thoroughly agonizing over the idea. You started to fret, toes feeling the moist pasture land over the soles of your feet; bringing you more concern.
"---What if I've been kidnapped or something?!"
Geraly shook his head, mouth in a tight thin line as he interrupted, "You're never leaving the house, midget. You need to take care of Cirilla," he let go of Roach's reigns to place his arms on either side of him, his tone more passive than yours, the words he told held more meaning as if he was giving a lot more trust than he can ever do by letting you handle the responsibility for his child of surprise even just for days.
The point simply tells you that he wasn't treating like you were his possession after admitting his feelings. Geralt was acting like a father and a husband for making you feel that way over supporting what he does for a living.
Just the act itself made you reach out for Geralt's hand, tightly clutching it in both of yours like you didn't want him to leave because you were feeling a little agitated for no reason. Overthinking always does take a toll on you. But often times, these female intuitions you have were correct for whatever bad feelings you were having.
Geralt closed his fist to subtly caress the back of your hand as Jaskier tried to convince and pour ice to your anxiety filled head, "Small rat, those are only predictions. He won't die yet. You're talking to a 100 year old witcher and you're frightened that he wouldn't come back alive?"
You face suddenly morphed into confusion, giving Jaskier a look of puzzlement. 100 years old? Geralt never looked that old to you, maybe his face was pretty much mature than yours but his features tells that he was around 30'ish and above, a lot more older than you nevertheless.
Geralt was still quiet as he continued to brush his thumb over the back of your hand. No objection was received and so, you believed Jaskier's words were true. Yet, his age never made you uneasy nor made you want to run for the hills. He was still Geralt. Your mean looking, soft-hearted witcher. More human than any other man can ever be.
He was yours. Only yours; and you needed to bite your tongue from saying words that would taser your heart from being unanswered.
"Wait---what--- you're a 100 years old?!?!----anyway, Geralt---!!" Geralt only hummed in dissatisfaction for Jaskier's existence in their world.
You peered up at the witcher with a fretful beam, your nose scrunching from feeling too worried for him when he goes out to hunt for his monsters; remembering what stories he told and the scars you've seen on his body. It was making your heart feel heavy, and Geralt wasn't a simpleton to not know nor feel how concerned you were for him.
It's been a long time since he's ever had someone making him feel all sorts of things and the doubled up emotions was making it more uncontrollable for the feelings he had for you.
"In our world, when a person leaves, they always bid their goodbyes!" Geralt drowsily blinked back at you, an utter soft flicker in his eyes that made your heart turn to mush.
Your eyes were hopeful as you asked, "---now, where's mine?"
You've let go of his hand, timidly standing before him with your frail arms on either side; wiggling your bare toes on the grass as you shyly waited for his reaction. Was it too much to ask even just a kiss before he goes?
"Goodbye, midget." the white wolf gravelly rasped, insincerity dripping in his tone because he didn't like bidding goodbyes to people he would still get to see again. The words seemed to be bitter for his taste, his farewell totally feigned because he was never going to leave for good. You've seen a tiny slip of his fangs as he talked and tried to regret what he said.
"---though, I doubt I meant that because I am not leaving for good,"
His reaction made you want to jump in a hole and just talk to yourself instead. Your face fell at that and Jaskier was found silently wincing from what the witcher has interpreted. He would rather bask in his own laughter and silence by himself than be punched by Geralt. So, he did; snorting a chuckle as he continued to eavesdrop and watched you both in a conversation.
Though, the bard's laughter was momentarily ceased when Geralt sent him a scowl.
"Why am I---why are witchers idiots? why are you an idiot sometimes?!"
Jaskier was known to be brave for even deciding to be Geralt's travel companion before; having the freedom to annoy him and never gotten the chance to end up beheaded or served as a meal for monsters. He was the only person who Geralt could handle no matter how he brings problems and for how annoying he can become.
However, at some point; they've gotten into a huge fight and it was intense. Luckily, they were on good terms right now after being separated.
"I second the notion, small rat!" the toubadour jested with a grin; Geralt's lack of knowledge about romantic gestures entertaining him.
You palmed your face in fluster and from the frustration; seeming more difficult to say what you truly wanted because Jaskier was close enough to hear what you could ask. A frown etched your face, grouching before the witcher like a kid that has never been given a big swirling rainbow lollipop.
"I didn't meant that! I meant---I meant---!"
You were stammering as you stood rooted on the ground, glancing up at Geralt while subtly pointing to your pouted lips. He calmly breathed out his frustrations from not understanding you prior before. But, the way his golden eyes lit up, sparkling beneath the sun's rays made you see that he knew what you meant.
His eyes were like diamonds twinkling under the sun and it always leaves you bewitched.
He has given Jaskier another grimace before humming back at you in comprehension, "A buss." His mouth curled in a small smile before you've seen him give you a gesture with his hand; urging you to come closer.
"Come ere'. You should've been more specific, midget."
Geralt slung an arm around your hips, his armor hitting your skin with soft clungs; pulling you closer to him as he leaned down to your height, catching your ajar lips in between his as he puckered to give you the most tender kiss you've received, taking you breath away like how he always does.
He'd kissed the tips of your vermillion, feeling like the other piece of your heart has been put together; making you feel complete. Satisfied. With the sudden life that was given to you when you woke up in the middle of the forest, having no idea how you've been transported.
But, experiencing no obstacles in their world from the time being was making you feel jittery because you knew life didn't work that way. It always leads you into an ocean, making you drown in impediments that can assuredly take the happiness away from you in just a flash.
You knew something was about to happen because fate always leads you in that position. It was like it wanted you to taste what contentment in life would be before snatching it out of your hands.
What would your fate bring you in their world?
Geralt has pulled away in the slightest amount. The tips of your vermillion brushing against his as your heart felt heavier to feel his warmth around you; not liking the concept of your witcher away because of certain reasons you couldn't explain. Faint voices has woken you up from your slumber, forewarning about him leaving you; urging for Geralt not to go which took you to run out of the door in your disheveled state.
He lightly gave you a kiss on the tips of your nose; your mouth frowned at that no matter how your heart slightly fluttered from the soft gesture. Geralt straightened his back as he has given Jaskier a knowing look. Jaskier unconsciously has given him a subtle roll of his eyes, feeling that he was being cocky for showing that he had the freedom to kiss you like that. It was how Geralt could define his repartee and Jaskier swore that he got one point of having the upper hand from the surprising physical display of affection.
"Difficult...to be lovers with a 100 year old witcher, won't you say?" he sent the message to you and sounded like he wanted to sulk but he covered the tone with a feigned cough.
Light hurried footfall came falling behind. The Ashen haired child announced her appearance with a look of nausea; her nose twisted in distaste for what she saw because she had already been watching you three in a distance.
"Ugh, gross." she joked, quickly replacing her abhorrence with a genuine smile, "---Is this how disgusting it is to see a child's parents kiss?"
Everybody turned to look at her, the arm that has snaked around you was now gone as you also looked at the princess with a bewildered expression for what she'd said. Nobody dared to object nor concur to what they've heard, only reticence.
But, not for Jaskier. He'd called Cirilla out for saying those words unexpectedly.
"So, you're calling them your parents now? Mother? Father?---and me?"
The lion cub of Cintra raised a sardonic brow as she tightly crossed her arms over her chest, tone all jest and playful as she commented, "---Which leads to you, bard." she abruptly paused to make it sound more intriguing as she spat, "---a dust mite in the household."
Cirilla took several steps closer to Geralt, making you fall back to give them time together. You've given them both a loving smile to indicate that you loved seeing them interact all the time because of how compassionate he was over his child, such a fatherly thing he appeared to be like, with the princess finding comfort and protection in his arms as she stepped closer to give the witcher a big, bear hug that he certainly didn't think twice to accept.
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"Take care, Geralt. More than ever--please do come back,”
You eyed Geralt who was hugging Cirilla, your smile turning wider than ever as you lively jested among the affectionate scene you were seeing from a father and daughter.
"Is this the part where we should give you a group hug?---Okay! Okay! I'm joining!" Cirilla wholly accepted the idea of that and pulled your arm to surround beside her and Geralt; his hand immediately falling on your side, grabbing you closer once you were pulled by the pretty child.
The giggles that he heard from you both has lifted a smile on his brooding, sharp features. He lowly hummed in content before lifting his eyes off his girls in his arms to glance at Jaskier who seemed to suddenly be out of humor.
"Bard." he gruffly called out, amused from how the troubadour was despondent from the whole thing happening. Geralt gave an audible huff, alarming Jaskier because he knew what he was thinking. The witcher was thinking how pathetic he was looking to be so withdrawn over the abrupt embraces under the newly emerging morning sun.
"A dust mite mustn't interfere with a family group hug---oof! This is harassment!"
Jaskier was strongly pulled by Geralt who took no complaints over the embosom he was in, puffing out a frustrated breath as he tried to pull back from the embrace but had no choice when the witcher was using his strength, his hand behind the poet. His slight struggle painless for him. He gave the bard a strong pat on the back that made him cough out on how his lungs hurt from the sudden attack.
His grapples were cut short when you've placed your palm just below Geralt's; giving Jaskier a hug as well. Your touch felt unexpected as the white wolf heard his sudden heart palpitations over the subtle brush of your fingers on his friend.
Geralt knew, but not you.
Jaskier will be fine. If this was the only affectionate gesture that he could get you in, so be it. His unrequited affection will go away slowly, he hoped.
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The white wolf's departure haven't lasted for a day till you were low spirited enough to stare out onto the windows, sitting on the stoned sill of the windows. Your viewpoint giving such reverence over how immeasurable their world could offer. From trees to the core of their land certainly looked earthy to you. A facsimile of what your world has been. Do they have oceans too? Noodles? Oh, you definitely wanted noodles for thinking about it.
Kaedwen. It was what their kingdom is called. You've also heard about Nilfgaard. Novigrad. But, you have no idea as to what it looks like rather than the kingdom of Kaedwen that looks no good like how you imagined Switzerland to be if you were talking about how the government treats their people.
Humans were treated poorly and even to the point of selling themselves as slaves; remembering what you have heard and saw while walking around the marketplace back then. They were living in dirt and striving to live with the ones who were abundant, seeing like they could never surpass to be cared for like they were humans.
Their government are treating them like garbage. The medieval movies you've watched were real because you also remember how you were close to being sold by a nobleman because no one knew who you were; having no name or a bloodline that could save you from being abjected.
Except for Geralt who needed to create a bloodbath just for you to live. The act alone has probably given him a violation against their law because of how he'd killed knights or people. Or was it legal for it happen?
You were staring far too long out in the open; waiting for your witcher to come back. What if he was away to probably find the sorceress that could bring you back home? Or better yet, what if he did find Yennefer and comes back choosing her instead because you're too dependent over him. His tiny mortal who always needed saving?
What if he gets tired of you? will he throw you away just like how people treat their lovers in earth when they're bored of each other?
What if you've just existed in their dimension because you were needed to fill the empty gap of Geralt's heart until he finds the sorceress?
You've asked Jaskier about it the past few days ago which has left your heart in a disgruntled mess when you've had answers over his relationships he never tells about.
"So, Yennefer, huh?" you've followed Jaskier out of the house. Nightfall was about to come by soon and Geralt wasn't around as he left with no words. The bard jogged through the end of the meadow till he'd reach the edge of the vast forest, twigs and branches breaking apart from every step when you've trailed behind him with a bothered heart.
"What?---Oh! You're asking me who she is?" Jaskier crouched to pick up blocks of wood that will cover up the whole night full of brisk as darkness was bound to visit soon. You hugged yourself to calm down the goosebumps that rose your skin when the cold hits you,"---Would you want a simplified explanation or a detailed one?"
You thought for a moment before feeling your heart beat ringing in your ears. It was that loud for the anticipation running in your veins for how curious you were about Geralt and a vision of his past, "The simplified one,"
Jaskier continued his rummaging, picking up woods after woods as he nonchalantly tittle-tattled, "She's a strong, fierce sorceress. Nice too because she's helped me out of a curse but also kind of rude to me---I am not biased just because of the whole crow’s feet ordeal---they've shared quests and I've been there to witness how they connect with each other. However, their relationship has lots of ups and downs. They've somehow find each other no matter what happens back in the decades except for now."
Your throat felt like there was some phantom hands trying to choke you; constantly bickering back to tell how strong and powerful she was that they've shared tales and adventures. It was downing over your head about how much of a burden you have been to Geralt, the constant feeling of your relationship with him being the cause of the responsibility he had for taking you because he had no other choice that he was the first person you've encountered.
You were definitely the most useless amongst his prior lovers.
He shrieked when a large bug has flew over his face, flicking them away with his hands as he threw his arms around; trying to hit the bug with a block of wood as he continued to talk, "---Move away, you shite of a bug!---Geralt stopped finding her due to reasons I have no clue about and because he needed to avoid people at all costs---but---oh, gods. It’s quite difficult to explain,"
Jaskier has gathered all the wood he needed. You've reach out to help him carry the blocks but before you could even touch them, he'd stepped away and walked around you as he continue to speak, "Oh, and about Renfri; don't bother nor think about it."
He heard your footfalls following him back to the meadow and even heard you exclaim, "Why?"
"She's reached her demise. Explains why Geralt has a moniker named the 'butcher of Blaviken'. Ended up killing her to save an ignoble child named Masha---Martha---Marilka?! Oh, whatever! He chose that to save the innocent lives of people instead. He never told you that?"
Your felt the needles poking through your chest because of how naive it felt to know nothing about it, also feeling sad about her early demise. You've remembered how Geralt ceased his stories when he'd reach the part where he went to a town named Blaviken; not even bothering to tell you that he has met a woman named Renfri and somehow had such hapless fate between them both.
You felt foolish. Ignorant over a story that was never told. Hence, it was enough to turn that smile upside down as you quietly muttered, "No."
Jaskier stopped walking, waiting for you to catch up as you stood beside him with a frown. He'd given you the twinkle of his pretty baby blue eyes with a sympathetic smile as he uttered, "That's never new, though. It's understandable. I've experienced it too, don't worry. Geralt has always been Geralt. He rarely becomes loquacious,"
You've crossed your arms behind your back, your fingers fidgeting; nails scratching your palm from how you were feeling the tiny prickle of your nerves telling that you weren't in the best part of your brain. The dragging feeling on your chest adding more weight from the start that Jaskier has opened his mouth to chat.
"He does that for anyone, huh? Saving people, I mean."
Jaskier was oblivious about how you've turned your head away to anxiously nibble on your lower lip. He was incognizant over your disappointed mental breakdown of your own self because he went on to simply tell, "No matter how he says that he doesn't want to be involved nor desires for anyone needing him. He still saves them because---"
You immediately cut him off, swallowing the tight knot in your throat, looking at him in the eye with a disheartened gaze, "He doesn't want people needing him?"
"Geralt never liked it. But, guess what brought you here! You! Even had the chance of needing Geralt because you were lost and vulnerable. Was it out of pity? I---I---No. No. Definitely not out...of...pity?"
When the moment he'd seen your eyes, Jaskier was quick to know that he made the wrong choice of words and even the topic to tell. He gave an awkward grin, instantly regretting what he said when you've shifted those eyes to look away.
"Why did they never see each other again?"
The bard has cursed himself repeatedly inside his mind, praying to the gods that you won't be mad at Geralt when he comes home because him and Cirilla didn't need another chance of being surrounded by the silence eating them up when you both are having misunderstandings or issues about each other.
"The witcher has made mistakes. He let her slip away. They've parted after a pretty intense fight."
He'd pretty much simplified everything, sounding like he told it to you in bullet form and left you alone in the middle of the field as he ran back inside. Though, it was too late. You've heard what is needed to know and the discomfort that dropped inside your stomach felt like these feelings you had for Geralt was already serious.
It was definitely too late because you've lately realized that liking him wasn't the correct term. Love felt better and deeper.
Soft knocking has pulled you off your reverie which has made you blink as you swiftly turned your head to see a child whom you also have a soft heart for. This child that has no idea why she was being persecuted---or maybe you were the person who had no thought again as to what reason and purpose does Nilfgaard want from her because honestly, all you could see from her was a child who had nobody left behind for her to console. If it wasn't for Geralt, she probably would have been taken by the people who want her.
You narrowed your gaze and gave her a bit of your scrutiny, angling your head in a way that tells the child you were trying to look through her. Did she have some sort of magic too? Was she a mutant too?
"Mum'?---will it be alright for me to call you that? I--I---I don't want to call you rat or midget," she tried to call you for the third time. Her bright cobalt eyes buoyant as she wend one's way, ceasing before you with a tight-lipped smile.
"I'm sorry, what did you just say?" you softly pardoned with a sweet smile.
The princess couldn't help but bashfully give a beam, conscious if you've said that because you didn't want to be called that way. But, she gave no second doubts and repeated her questions again; anxiously and hopeful to undertake.
"Can I call you Mum'? Everybody has a nickname for you and also considering how you've started taking care of me---with---with Geralt now deeming as your beloved..." she trailed off in the middle of her sentence and you waited for her to continue but it was intentionally left to be dithered.
Heat traveled towards your cheeks. The princess wanted to call you 'Mum'? you silently questioned yourself. Your heart beat was racing from being accepted by his child of surprise, sounding like she wanted you to be her mother and seeing her fret before you made you think that she would gladly be your daughter as long as you were comfortable.
"Beloved? Right! Right! You can call me anything you want, Ciri."
The affirmation made her give you a toothy grin. Cirilla didn't think twice and merrily cajoled with a small hop of her feet that were close against each other, "Great, Mum'! Can you teach me how to bake?---maybe a cake---oh! Or a very scrumptious bread!?"
Your sullen features have been promptly lifted on the spot. You've grasped onto what she wanted, a distraction from how apprehensive she seemed to be like from the way her heels tap on the stone floor and to the way her forehead was slightly creased like she was on pins and needles. The princess was even worried because Geralt wasn't around to guard anyone in the household.
Her wrist was quickly snatched by you, pulling her out of your chambers and running through the hallway, towards down the stairs with heavy, excited thumps.
"Of course! would you like me to teach you how I'd baked blueberry muffins from the other night?"
The lion cub of Cintra hummed in mirth, nodding behind despite of knowing you couldn't see her as you pulled her around. Your eyes scanned the first floor of the house to see Kolby snuffling the front door with Jaskier no where to be seen.
You passed by the newly fixed table; knowing that Geralt ended up fastening back what was ruined. Trying to whisk your head away, you did you best not to feel the warmth spread over your face. Toes were lifted up to the highest as you reached for the door of the cupboards to see the bowls all gone when the last time you remembered; the white wolf has changed the position of plates in a much lower level for your sake.
Jaskier was just intentionally doing it right now and it made your blood boil for his constant teasing.
"I'm going to strangle that bard. I swear to Thor; I hope he hits Jaskier with a lightning---where did he even place all the bowls again?!" you complained more so to yourself as Cirilla was left standing on your side, waiting for your next command.
You've gestured with your hand, making her stay inside the kitchen while you walked away. The Hirikka suddenly howling out of the blue when you jogged towards the front door, stepping out of the threshold as Kolby followed suit.
"Jaskier?!" a loud yell echoed as you called at the top of your voice; seeing no bard anywhere.
Kolby unexpectedly sprinted, running off your side as he turned along the path around the house where the back door lead to.
You groaned out loud, strolling to where the Hirikka went, "Jaskier! Will you please tell me where---Jaskier!"
An ear-piercing shriek left your lips. Heart stopped from beating, your blood running cold as you were filled with panic and fear from seeing Jaskier hunkered down in the middle of chevaliers circling him like he was being tyrannized.
Armored gallants sat on their horses, their helmets taken off their faces which has given you images of what they looked like. A mixture of different ethnicity that you were well aware of back in earth. But, they've shared gazes in their eyes that placed you in a horrified position that tells everything was about to go down and it wasn't just Jaskier hunched on the ground.
When he heard your footsteps, he was pleading that you wouldn't actually visit the back part of the house but seeing Kolby safeguarding as he stood in front of you; thoroughly feral and livid for visitors that weren't invited at all, Jaskier knew all hell was about to break lose.
"A liar, bard." you've heard that voice back in the marketplace, a timbre you didn't wish to hear ever again as it haunts you with memories that he was a mystical being and the person who has stabbed you to bleed.
"The witcher didn't bring his little woman all along," Tybalt's breath fanned your ears, making you hastily step away from the vampire with your eyes all wide from the spine-chilling memory that gets you shunning away. Kolby was rapid enough to slip in between the uncomfortable space that Tybalt has locked you in, all predatory and wild as the movement made you stumble down beside Jaskier.
You've coughed out from being accidentally pushed to the ground, the knights of Kaedwen stepping back to include you in the tyranny of hopeless pleading. The bard's lip was wounded. Broken. Bleeding. Claret colored liquid painting his teeth which tells that they've been bashing him for quite some painful minutes. His doublet untidy and disordered from their constant forceful pulling.
"Rat," he weakly groused, holding onto his battered stomach. Jaskier tightly blinked the dirt out of his eyes as he spitefully spat the blood, wiping the blood off his busted lip with the back of his hand. His golden dagger tightly on his palm as he ceaselessly jested. The words coming out of his lips sounding familiar as you remembered you've said it to him before in the middle of being taken.
"---You had one job."
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NO UPDATE FOR THIS UPCOMING JUNE 27, BB’S! I’mma take a break! (Or not because I always end up opening my drafts and try to write lmao) I’ll probably write the future chapters for everyone and so, I won’t get stuck on procrastinating before school starts in about after 2 months. LMAO. I get anxious when I think about this fic being unfinished due to random reasons because I don’t want that. FEEDBACKS ARE VERY MUCH APPRECIATED! (Strikethrough means I couldn’t tag you)
Taglist for WOTN: @alyxkbrl @himarisolace @barkingbullfrog @ayamenimthiriel @hellodevilslittlesister @vania-marie @spookypeachx @grungelovebug @fangirl-inthe-us @nympeth @amirahiddleston @gabethelobster @dreaming-about-starfleet @uncoolcloudyhead @melaninstylezz @psychosupernaturalhero @missjenniferb @dance-dreamer @marvelousell @kingniazx @angelias134 @tapismyforte @chook007 @covid-donotenter @winter-moons @cheesecakeisapie @silverkitten547 @angelofthor @carrieannewaywardson, @plantingmum, @stuckupstucky, @shesthelastjedi, @a--1--1--3, @gutfucks​, @raynosaurus-rex
Overall witcher taglist: @pizza-eater-i-ate-the-pizza​
General taglist: @agniavateira​, @iloveyouyen​, @rahdaleigh​,
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rotten-phantasm · 4 years
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Been spending the last week or two workin on lore for my own version of Scarecrow. Crane and Scarecrow aren’t separate personalities persay, but rather two sides of the same guy. Putting on the mask “unlocks” a different version of Crane. A side that’s reckless and less restrained as he doesn’t have to put up any sort of facade to pass around others.
I’ll put the rest of my writings down below cuz I got a lot to say and it’s gonna be rambly + my full Scarecrow design is here.
Crane sees himself as misunderstood and a tortured artist of sorts. He sees his work as a necessary evil. Yeah, he’s given multiple people PTSD and/or permanent brain damage, and put a couple into a catatonic state, and may or may not have killed a person (It’s not his fault they had a weak heart!) But it’s all for the sake of research in his eyes.
He sees his peers as inferior to him, that they can’t grasp the importance of his work. His work means everything to him, and most of what he does revolves around it. Deep down, though, he knows it’s all for naught, as he’ll never be satisfied with it. He has to keep working and tweaking and fiddling with things or else he feels empty. He doesn’t know where he would be without his work (and the murder of crows that live outside his house he takes care of.) 
Scarecrow is just Crane off his shits. He can do whatever he wants and nobody can stop him. Except for when they do. Either way, Scarecrow is almost like a trickster of sorts. He’ll spray fear gas into a crowd for no other reason than to see how it’d effect people. He has multiple variations of his fear toxin and he isn’t afraid to mix them and use them on anybody he can. Despite his chaotic ways, there is a method behind the madness. He knows what he’s doing and he doesn’t deny anything when confronted about it.
There’s always a big crash when Crane goes back to being Crane. Highs always come with lows, after all. It’s all mood related, as he retains his memories. He’s usually very drained after it happens and he needs some time to return to normal. He also can’t change how long a manic episode will last so he stays as Scarecrow until it subsides, even if he’s not doing anything.
When he gets caught for the first time, it’s debated on whether he should go to Blackgate or Arkham, but he’s deemed too “unstable” and is sent to Arkham. He’s a hard patient to keep track of, as sometimes he seems to be getting better, but then he snaps right back to being manic and “dangerous”. They site “Scarecrow” as being the problem, so they confiscate his mask, but he somehow manages to get it back every time they take it.
As both Crane and Scarecrow, he’s always deemed as “that weird guy,” and is generally unpleasant to be around.
In his early days, Scarecrow is a urban legend of sort. The bringer of nightmares. The man that haunts your dreams. A ghost story for kids to tell each other to scare them.
A big inspo for the energy I want Scarecrow to give off is No One Lives Forever by Oingo Boingo + some other Oingo Boingo songs but that’s the main one.
Idk how Original or Fresh this is cuz I’m a real Batman noob so go easy on me please ^^;
Anyways that’s all I got for now thanks for coming to my TED talk.
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spooks-and-tea · 4 years
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Entangled (Spencer Reid x femReader) [Ch.11] The Final Chapter.
Summary: You don’t know how it happened. One moment you were watching Criminal Minds, and the next moment you were literally in the show. Can Spencer be the key to helping you find your way back home?
Warnings: minor character death, mentions of su*cide, bad explanations of quantum mechanics, bad words, sexual situations (some non-con), the usual criminal minds-type content
A/N: Some big bad interrogation Spencer vibes. Thanks for reading. This chapter was short, so I just decided 2 chapter posts in one day. Let me know what you thought of the story~Pleeeeease no one repost on other sites without my permission.
Word Count: 2,015
Chapter 1.  Chapter 2.  Chapter 3.  Chapter 4. Chapter 5.  Chapter 6.  Chapter 7.  Chapter 8.  Chapter 9.  Chapter 10.  Chapter 11.  
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************************************************************************After Spencer had disappeared, JJ was surprised, to say the least.
She held the unsub by the cuffs as he angrily spoke about Spencer's big genius brain solving an equation in 2 minutes which had taken himself a lifetime of work to figure out. She asked him where the machine had taken Spencer and he replied with all of this talk about quantum mechanics, particle waves, split dimensions, and voids. Stuff that Spencer had been info-dumping about for months, regarding the case.
All JJ cared to know about was if Spencer was safe, and to that the unsub just shrugged.
The first thing the team did when you all returned to the BAU was throw the unsub into an interrogation room.
Spencer was quick to volunteer as the only interrogator in the room, he argued this unsub would react the strongest to him.
The rest of the team were still flustered from all of this inter-dimensional information that Spencer had gone on about on the ride back. You had backed him up wholeheartedly and you were seemingly in great health after being gone for 5 months.
"Alright Reid, you seem to be the only one of us that has a good idea of what's going on. We'll watch from here, and if he gets too aggressive, we'll send someone else in," Hotch agreed.
You watched from the double sided mirror, the unsub was looking at it as if he could see you. You clenched your fists. He was the reason you'd nearly lost Spencer. He was the reason that Spencer looked sick from overworking and you had nightmares for 5 months straight.
"Hey, will you be okay in here?" Spencer lowered his voice to ask you. You had refused to stop holding his hand since you got here. He noticed your fist clenching tighter.
"I don't want him to take you away from me again," you replied.
"He's in handcuffs, and his machine is being collected for evidence. He isn't a wizard, he needs that machine like Nikola Tesla needs an inductor. He can't hurt us anymore," Spencer tried to comfort you, using the soft tone he knew you loved.
"Just don't take too long in there, and give him hell for me, alright?" You stood on your toes and kissed him.
He gave you a small smile and nodded.
You slowly slid your hand from his as he turned to walk out.
When he entered the interrogation room, he was no longer soft-Spencer.
The unsub didn't even turn to look at him, he was fixated on the double mirror. His eyes unnerved you.
You crossed your hands over your chest and leaned against the wall, deciding to keep your eyes steadily on Spencer.
"We know who you are." Spencer spoke. You smiled, recognizing that Spencer was turning the unsub's words to you against him.
Was Spencer purposefully trying to make you happy while he was in the middle of an interrogation?
"I know who you are as well, Dr. Reid," his gritty voice made your skin crawl.
"Good, then you should know that I understand the significance of the science experiments you've been conducting, Dr. Arnold Lynch. You've been labeled as a dangerous person to the entire world; a mad scientist." Spencer sat in a chair, his arms crossed.
"Now they listen." Lynch, rolled his eyes, finally looking at Spencer. His unimpressed gaze trailed up and down, sizing him up.
"I was like you once. Young, an impressive mind; maybe if I had found her sooner she would have loved me." Lynch added. He looked back to the mirror, you tasted bile at the back of your throat.
Spencer leaned forward in his chair, putting his elbows on the table.
"You're trying to change the subject." Spencer pointed out. "Tell me how all of this started. Tell me where your partner, Dr. Deborah Tryst, is hiding and how she helped you."
Lynch's eyes widened. "We were colleagues. She helped me build the machine, and I wrote the equations that made it work. We went in together, the first time."
"She tested the machine with you?" Spencer asked.
"Yes, we experimented. We tried to study the void space for years. Then, one day, a crack formed. Through that crack I saw her." The unsub looked towards you, seemingly locking eyes with you through the one-way glass.
"Y/N?" Spencer clarified.
"Correct. She was spectacular, the girl from a parallel dimension. We didn't know why the crack revealed her at first, but then we saw the string. It was barely noticeable, like a fishing line. It led from her dimensional crack to ours. All it took was a tug on that wire to know who the other end of that line connected to."
He was watching me? What a sick creep!
"Who?"
"Don't play stupid with me Doctor, I know you feel it."
Spencer swallowed, his eyes flicking to you for a moment.
"I should have gotten rid of you when I had the chance. My colleague thought differently. Now that the cracks were open, she observed you both, she knew you both would feel-" he sighed, "-incomplete until you were in the same space. She decided to play matchmaker and ruin everything. I loved Y/N first. Y/N was mine and she was a beacon, a magnificent anomaly! I took her back so she could be my pet; so she would never be yours!" He angrily spat, slamming his fists onto the table. Spencer stood, seething. You felt similarly.
"You had no right!" Spencer's voice was deep and angry. You'd never heard him so angry, other than in the show.
"No, Tryst had no right bringing her to you in the first place!"
"Y/N wants to be here. This is her decision. If you're so convinced you love her, you would want what is best for her."
"What's best for her Dr. Reid, or what's best for you? Is she any better off fighting criminals for the BAU? A job she isn't trained for." He cruelly laughed. "Is putting her in danger just so you can fuck her every once in a while off-duty not selfish? You think I'm the selfish one, look at yourself. You're just expecting her to be the lawful Bonnie to your Clyde, how long until you drive her into a hail of bullets?" Lynch smirked.
Spencer's eyes widened and he gripped the table.
No Spence, don't let him get to you.
"That's it, I'm going in there." Morgan spoke up next to you.
Hotch held his hand up to block him; his eyes on Spencer. "Wait, let Spencer speak. He's getting the unsub to talk, and that's good."
Spencer quickly collected himself, his expression going blank.
"Where is Dr. Deborah Tryst?" Spencer asked.
"Ooh, did I strike a chord, Doctor?" Lynch chuckled, leaning back in his chair.
"Where is Dr. Deborah Tryst?" Spencer repeated, angrier.
"Probably playing matchmaker. There are an infinite amount of dimensions for her to play with." Lynch shrugged.
"She's still in the void?"
"Yup, she's the reason the crack sealed when you two went through. She trapped herself in there and made sure I could never go back. Whatever she's doing, we'll never know for sure because it is impossible to recreate the initial crack. You should know just how improbable it was to create one in the first place, Dr. Reid."
"So there is no further possibility of danger?"
"Not cosmically, but, for our impossible girl over there, who knows what kind of dangerous situations you will put her in." Lynch nodded to the double mirror.
"She is not yours and she will never be yours. We're putting you in a maximum security prison where you will never see her again. So you can sit in your cell for the rest of your life and remember that she's with me, not you." Spencer's eyes darkened. You wanted to end this fight and get him out of there. He was only getting angrier.
Hotch walked through the interrogation room door, holding it open. "Reid," was all he said.
That was it, Spencer had gotten a lengthy confession from the unsub. The details would come up during his trial.
Spencer stood up, not caring about the wobbling chair as he did so. He walked out of the room and you went to the hallway to meet him. You met him as he was stomping down the hall away from you. "Spencer!" You called, hurrying to follow him.
He made his way inside an empty meeting space and you quickly slipped in behind him; closing the door.
He loosened his tie and ran his hands through his hair. You let him cool off for a few moments.
"He's right. I am selfish." He sounded beyond angry, even guilty.
He leaned forward on the meeting table, clenching his fists against the wood.
"He was just trying to get the last word in. Don't pay his words any more attention." You spoke, softly; placing a comforting hand on his shoulder.
"You shouldn't work here. You're not properly trained for the high-intensity, high-risk situations."
"Then I can train. Anyways, I doubt Hotch is going to let me work here now that he knows," you said, sadly. You loved working here. You loved helping people and being with your BAU family. You loved Spencer's daily teasing.
"Being with me puts you in enough danger. I couldn't protect you. What's stopping something from happening to you again?" He looked up at you, though he was still hunched over the table.
"All the other times you protected me." You gave him a small smile. "When Chris threatened me, you confronted him. When I jumped into the lake, you stopped me from drowning. When I was stuck in my dimension, you rescued me from a life of being absolutely miserable without you. When the unsub first encountered us, you stood in front of me even though you couldn't see him. You've protected me far more times than you are choosing to acknowledge. I trust you with my life, Spence."
Spencer's shoulders fell as his breath evened out.
"I love you Y/N, I just don't want you to get hurt." Spencer whispered, his grip on the table loosening. He slowly stood up straight to look at you.
"We aren't some alternate justice-duo, Bonnie and Clyde. We're perfectly capable of protecting each other, and we aren't some crazy serial-killing, bank-robbing couple. We're Spencer and Y/N, the BAU's hottest couple." You spoke with exaggeration and winked.
Spencer gave you a small smile. His hair was a mess, his clothing was wrinkled, and his tie was undone.
"It's been a long day. Take me home?" You asked, giving him your best doe-eyes as you reached up to fix his tie.
"Oh. About that- you're apartment and all your money and assets are sorta gone now. You were presumed dead."
"I'm not talking about that place." You rolled your eyes; unaffected by the news.
You were used to being dirt poor anyways and that house was nothing but an empty shell.
"Home, with you," you explained.
"Oh."
Spencer broke out into a large grin. He wrapped his arms around your waist and pulled you into a kiss. His coffee and woodsy-vanilla scent enveloped you like a warm hug. When he pulled away, he held his hand out to you.
"Come on then, I'll take you home."
Home, it was a strange concept. Your now-empty apartment in your dimension was once your home. You'd once almost drowned yourself to try to get back to that place.
Then you fell in love with Spencer, and living with him made you discover what a home truly was. It wasn't where you were from, it was the place you loved to be; the place you felt most comfortable, the most yourself.
Your home was in Spencer's dimension, Spencer's apartment, Spencer's arms, Spencer's everyday gestures, Spencer's smile, Spencer's late night chess games, Spencer's "I love you's," Spencer's raspy morning voice, Spencer's unruly hair, Spencer's hand kisses, Spencer's scrunched nose ticks, Spencer's info-dumps, Spencer's everything.
It was the most improbable circumstance and the one thing you were most thankful for. You got to spend your new life with Spencer.
In the end, Spencer Reid kept his promise; he did help you find your way home. Your way home to him.
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pocketmouse18 · 3 years
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Thank you so much to @herosofmarvelanddc @cloudypaws and @mtab2260 for the tag! This was so much fun to think about :)
(fair warning, I wrote too much for many of these...)
1. How many works do you have on AO3?
Just 2 :)
2. What's your total AO3 word count?
450,577 if I did my math right!
3. How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?
Officially? Just 1 - Agents of Shield (two, I guess, if you count MCU as separate, since I use characters from both...). Off the record, many more than that! I have lots of bits and bobs from other fandoms that I tinkered with when I was younger, still getting the hang of writing, not brave enough to post things, etc. etc. Some of those include X-Men, Harry Potter, Percy Jackson, the Fosters, Star Wars, the Hunger Games, the 39 Clues, and a few others I can’t remember. None of those will likely see the light of day, mostly because they’re unfinished, not very good, and just not reflective of who I am as a writer anymore, but they were fun to play around with at the time :)
4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?
I just have the two, but The Important Thing is to Try wins, hands down, with 1227. Shoulder to Shoulder has 95, though, which I’m also very proud of! Important Thing has a definite advantage, being as long as it is, so I don’t know if that’s really a fair comparison between them.
5. Do you respond to comments, why or why not?
Yes! Or at least, I always try to! I just can’t believe someone would be kind enough to take the time to tell me what they thought of my story, so I always want to take the time to thank them and return the favor :) Plus, as I’ve learned, it’s a fantastic way to get to know some really lovely people!
6. What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?
Well... I technically only have one story that has an ending, at least on Ao3, and it’s not an especially angsty one, since it ends in Phil and Melinda getting married :) I have some angsty chapter endings in Important Thing, if that counts? I’m not even sure if any of my unpublished fiddlings have angsty endings (most don’t have endings at all lol)... I don’t mind writing angst, but I don’t know if I’m capable of making something without a happy (or at least hopeful) ending.
7. Do you write crossovers? If so, what is the craziest one you've ever written?
Not really, unless you count AoS/MCU crossovers (which I guess technically count, but also I would argue it’s not a true crossover since (and I will die on this hill) AoS is a part of MCU canon). When I was younger I was a fan of playing around with crossover AUs more so than the actual characters crossing paths (so like, what if these characters from XYZ were demigods or went to Hogwarts or what have you, and not so much what would happen if the X-Men met Luke, Leia, and Han on one of their space adventures). I started writing a crossover between AoS and the Marvel Rising cartoon once (which again, not sure if that’s a true crossover, since Daisy was in Marvel Rising, but I digress), where Coulson tasks Daisy to work with Kate Bishop and Rayshaun Lucas to collect and train a team of young Inhumans, starting with Kamala Khan, but I ran out of steam pretty quickly when it got too plot heavy.
8. Have you ever received hate on a fic?
I don’t think so. I’ve had some people not understand some choices that I made, but they asked it in a way that I thought was perfectly nice, and I was happy to talk about it with them. Sometimes people get “mad” at me when I cause pain and suffering, but I know that’s all in good fun :)
9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?
Nope, not for me. I don’t read it or write it, personally. Writing a kiss is hard enough!
10. Have you ever had a fic stolen?
Not to my knowledge! Important Thing is probably too long and unwieldy to ever steal :P
11. Have you ever had a fic translated?
Someone once asked me on FFN if they could translate Important Thing to Russian, which was basically the coolest thing I’ve ever been asked!
12. Have you ever co-written a fic before?
A fic, no. I’d love to try sometime! I had a friend in college who I co-wrote with A LOT, though, so I know I enjoy that process, given the right partner. We wrote several short plays together (ranging from ~15-50 minutes in length, including one that we wrote in a single afternoon!), selected scenes from a larger (unfinished) play inspired by historical letters we found in an archive that were sent between a man from Massachusetts serving in the American Civil War, his wife, and his 8-year-old son, and several scripts for TV sitcoms (2 pilots for 2 different shows, plus additional eps for those pilots, and a couple of later eps for a different show that a classmate of ours wrote the pilot for - we were trying to practice what it would be like to be on a staff with a showrunner haha). The sitcom scripts in particular I’m very proud of, and could talk somebody’s ear off about if asked (one’s about ghost hunters and one’s about a DnD party!), but maybe that’s better saved for another post ;)
13. What's your all-time favorite ship?
That’s a very hard question for me! Mostly because shipping stuff is usually one of the last things to register for me when I’m thinking about shows/books/movies I like haha... I’m always a sucker for Philinda, and younger me was rather taken with Percabeth, I suppose.
14. What's a WIP that you want to finish but don't think you ever will?
Hmm, several, really. The aforementioned AoS/Marvel Rising crossover I think could be really cool if I got it to work, but I don’t think that’ll ever happen. I also have a WIP that’s like an angstier version of a Hallmark Christmas movie AU where Daisy has to come home to her small town right before Christmas and figure out what she wants out of life, but I’m a little stalled out on that one, mostly because I’m waffling on who the charming love interest should be and because I don’t have enough of a plot, just lots of feelings about coming back home to a place you thought you had left behind lol.
I’d put Important Thing and it’s (as of yet) untitled sequel on here as things I want to finish, but I’m much more determined to see those through, so I don’t think they qualify for the “never will actually write” part of this question :)
15. What are your writing strengths?
I don’t know if other people agree with this, but I think I write pretty decent dialogue. My “training” (if you can call it that) is in, as you might have figured out by now, script and screenplay writing (those were the only creative writing classes I took in college). So having a sense of the rhythm a conversation needs to have and how to write dialogue that sounds mostly like how people really talk (but shined and tightened up enough so that it’s not actually like verbatim dialogue, which is far less interesting to read!) is something that I feel like comes pretty easily. I also think I do okay with similes and metaphors - my brain tends to work in that way. It’s easier for me to think of stuff (feelings, especially) in terms of comparing it to more familiar things than to just think of the thing directly, if that makes sense?
16. What are your writing weaknesses?
If I was being honest, this would be a very long section, but I know it’s not fun to read a big ol’ paragraph of someone self-criticizing, so I’ll keep it to one or two items ;) A big one for me is pacing, I think. I tend to write more than I need to and to over-explain things, so my chapters get very long and sometimes don’t really go anywhere? Until all of the sudden, they DO, because things need to HAPPEN! I’m a pretty rigorous self-editor, but I do have a really hard time cutting out sections (unless they’re really just not working), so even if it would help the pacing to leave out this conversation between character A and character B, I often can’t make myself cut it. I also think I struggle sometimes with balancing my ‘showing’ and my ‘telling,’ especially in the sense of me over-explaining certain things - like when it comes to feelings/facial expressions/etc, for example. I compensate for that in Important Thing by making it a part of a few people’s POV, but it’s not really a good habit to have in general. Also spelling! I’m really bad at spelling and run my stuff through robust spellchecks and text-to-speech before I post anything to make up for it :)
17. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?
I do it with some regularity, although I always get nervous about doing it wrong! It’s hard to avoid in AoS, where characters are spies and should (in theory, at least) have a working knowledge of multiple languages (”We’re spies, I thought we all learned languages?!”). Even in an AU, where characters aren’t spies, I like to try and pay homage to that, plus pay homage to certain characters’ native languages or just general multilingualism. I’ve spent a fair amount of time around people who speak more than one language, so I feel like it’s a natural part of groups of people to have more than one language spoken. I have a pretty good handle on written Spanish, a patchy idea of French, plus I know some Russian phrases from my dad and some German words from my grandfather, but I do rely on internet translation a lot. I usually run stuff through google, then run it backwards to see just how far off the initial translation was, then consult some actual, like, language learning sites to see if there’s particular idioms or common phrases that use different words than what google will give me, then run those words through backwards in the place of the original words to see if I can massage the whole thing to sound reasonably competent. Languages like Russian or Mandarin (which have their own alphabets/characters) are the hardest, since I have to also try and do a transliteration. I always try to put an apology/disclaimer in the notes any time I write in a language that isn’t English, because I’m sure I make lots of mistakes.
Also, I tend not to italicize words that are in other languages, because it looks weird on the page to me to set the other language apart like that (and because I italicize mainly for internal thoughts or emphasis, and usually what’s being said in another language isn’t internal or being emphasized). I put a rough translation at the end so we don’t have to pause the story for a parenthetical translation, but because the translation’s not right there, I try to either put in enough context clues that a person can still understand what’s going on, or I make sure that what’s written in another language isn’t critical to the overall understanding of the scene.
18. What was the first fandom you wrote for?
Officially, it’s AoS, since that’s the only fandom I’ve published for. I think the first true fandom I wrote fic for was probably either Harry Potter (entirely populated with OCs lol, I just liked using the world/setting), Percy Jackson (a mix of OCs and canon characters), or X-Men (all canon characters). I was a bit of a latecomer to fanfiction, though, like, I wrote a ton as a kid, but mostly original stuff, because I didn’t know that fanfiction in its current form was even allowed until I was in high school lol.
Oh! I almost forgot one! I’m not sure if this really counts as a fandom, but it’s definitely the earliest version of fanfic I wrote haha... I was like 12 and I wrote more than one story of an OC joining Robin Hood’s band of Merry Men, and then also one of that same OC becoming a knight of the Round Table, so like... do what you will with that information haha.
19. What's you're favorite fic you've written?
I can’t choose between my two darlings :( I mean, okay, technically it’s probably Important Thing. That story’s my baby. It’s huge and I’ve been working on it for almost 2 years, and I’ve poured a lot of my heart and soul into it. I’ve fallen in love with the universe I built in it, so much so that I wrote an entire prequel and have very concrete plans for a lengthy sequel. But I can’t not crow about Shoulder to Shoulder (the aforementioned prequel!), too... I’m just really proud of that one - it has a lot of firsts for me. First completed story. First romance-focused story. First foray into expanding the Important Thing universe. But yes, if I have to choose, then Important Thing wins. That’s a story that I started writing exclusively for myself - to give myself characters I could relate to and to explore a style of AoS fic that I loved reading - and that’s a story I will always and forever be proud of.
I think most people have probably answered this tag game at this point, so I don’t want to accidentally retag anyone! If you haven’t yet, and would like to join in, please do! This is your invitation <3
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kustovshik · 4 years
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Talking.
This post is informative in connection with a dispute that one of the parties decided to make absurd. If you don't want to get involved, just skip it. I don't force anyone to look into it or read it.
Kust is in touch. As many people have noticed, there was a small(not small now) conflict between me and a couple of other people, which could have already been eliminated, but was brought to total clowning. Names/nicknames named in this post will not be in order to avoid any negative towards those people. Also, no correspondence will be shown here, although they will be mentioned. If someone asks , I'm ready to go and personally collect all the screenshots of the two conversations, without losing any moments.
As a person in some way responsible for the current situation, I have a desire to illuminate everything from the side of my vision of things.
The conflict conditionally began three days ago. Let's call the person who initially had a small argument with me a certain person "A".
Well. in March. March 24th. We can assume that almost 5 months ago I published a post: https://kustovshik.tumblr.com/post/613504425335586816/i-want-to-be-in-fiars-stomach-he-looks-like-a
Many people remember it, I hope. I'll attach an old screenshot here just in case.
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The whole conflict initially started because of the double meaning of the context behind the work itself. The problem, I was told, was the tags. Namely, in the tag highlighted in the screenshot above: ‘safe vore(or is it?)’.
This tag was originally put up there not because I didn't know what type of vore to call it, but specifically so that people themselves would sit and think: what do they want to see in my drawing. Simply put, a drawing with an open context. And it seems like no one has had any problems with it for few months.
That's what person A didn't like. I was told in a very unpleasant way for me personally that the person was very offended by this use of tags. And other problems with how they don't like 'fatal vore'. It was also suggested to me that I don't know about how fatal can be quite a painful experience for some.
I admit. My answer was quite abrupt. I can't deny it, and I won't, because that's the kind of person I am. My language is harsh on words and expressions. Instead of a thousand words and a selection of expressions, I usually tell people everything openly, or I am ready to openly indicate that something is wrong. Also, I fully admit that I have problems controlling my emotions, which makes it difficult for me to establish contact with strangers. I grew up in a different mindset, which is why I have a different view of many things. It's like putting two people who know the same language, but from different parts of the world, next to each other and forcing them to express their position on some moral principles or other things, and then wonder why their answers are different. A very exaggerated and crude comparison, but that how it looks like.
Why did I respond harshly? I am a rather rude person, and I do not like when people come to me in private messages, starting to talk about how bad they are feeling, because of things that can be safely ignored or blocked by them, so that there are no problems.
My first fatal mistake was when I decided to answer to "A". Afterwards, I talked to a couple of my friends and got cold feet. And then I apologized, trying to come to some compromise, adding the tag 'open ending' so that no one would be confused. But it seems that this was not enough, because “A” continued to say how it’s bad from what she found, even if not quite fatal stuff. Refusing to compromise in any way, as I suggested.
After that, we parted with apologies to each other, and neither of us wrote to each other again. I honestly thought it was over.
Now, before I go on to the man who has been driving me mad for the past two days, I will make a pure assumption and try to explain my indignation in a different way...
Out of human interest, I went through the 'safe vore' tag. Noted an interesting feature. Both tags had quite a lot of posts there. Namely, tags are 'safe vore' AND 'fatal vore'. Why did my post cause the problem? Have no idea.
Then another point became incomprehensible to me. How did a person get to this post at all? It would be difficult to find it through search, but you can: there is a lot of content by tag. I flipped the feed down from the second account for a long time and didn't come across my own post.
Then, in my little investigation, I looked into Tumblr's alerts. Likes, reblogs, well, you understand in short. And noticed it.
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This is the first appearance of "A" in my notifications.
Hence, I dare to assume that "A" came across one of the reblogs of this post: https://kustovshik.tumblr.com/post/616227708116025344/a-new-player-has-joined-the-game And then "A" went to my blog, along the way ignoring the description specially written for such people at the very top of the blog, and came across my two-meaning post.
But after that, I had a rhetorical question: Why go to the blog of a person who has this written in the description, and hope that there will not be a fatal vore?
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Of course, this theory is based only on my assumptions. But I think this scenario is quite real.
Thus, we can say that I have every right to be angry at the indignation expressed in my direction, because it is not my fault that the person ignored my preferences, scrolled down my blog page and started complaining.
Back to reality.
As you can understand, " A " shared our conversation with their friend, who the next day suddenly came to me with a long message about his position, offering help that was not needed.
Even then, I began to suspect that this person(let's call him "B") was somehow connected with "A". Moreover, the reason for the visit was the same for both of them.
I have already mentioned that I am an irritable and rather rude person. I was already stressed enough by the appearance of "A" and the consequences of my reflections that occurred after what I thought was an end to the conflict. And the repeated mention of the situation has already infuriated me.
I fully admit that I reacted very sharply to the "B" message. I had reasons for this that the other side chose not to consider.
Well. After receiving the message I gave sharp response expressing extreme dissatisfaction, but without insults to "B". Was there passive-aggressive speech? Yes. Were words said that I am not obliged to monitor the health of people who do not concern me? Yes. Do I have the right to think so? Yes. Does this fall under the moral code? It depends on the person's personal worldview.
Yes, I was rude due to the fact that on the second day I was exhausted and angry about this situation. I wanted to end this conflict and repeatedly asked both of them to block me and remain neutral. In addition, I tried to somehow explain that we are people of different mentalities and grew up with different life standards, so in this situation we see this conflict differently. Yes, in a rough way, but I tried to explain it.
I received a ton of direct insults, was accused of narcissism and high self-esteem, as well as refusing to take care of other people's problems. In addition, I received lines like, quote: "...but let me see you talk like you did to me or anyone else simply trying to converse with you over a serious topic and I will not hesitate to have your content and eventually your account removed from this site.".
Isn't this a direct threat?
I understand that passive-aggressive speech itself can offend someone. But you can't call it an insult. Passive-aggression is a hidden way of expressing negative feelings and emotions to a person. This is not an insult. But, Yes, I admit that this is a very harsh and rude way of communicating.
That's just after such an exchange of pleasantries, I snapped. 3 days of unquenchable conflict, when one side refused to listen to the other, at the same time. There were attempts on my part to end the conflict. There was one repeated request to block and disperse, so as not to inflame everything to the point of absurdity.
"Want to stay safe with your own preferences? "Please, God, don't touch me, that's all. Block me already and we will live in peace. "- This was the message of my answers. It's sad, but instead of just ending the conflict, I got the brand of a person with a capitalist mindset, the brand of a bitch-whiner, and other other charms.
And I swear that I was ready to just leave all this and stop responding to such outbursts in my direction, banal blocking "B", if they can’t themselves do it.
As here I get a notification with a post where this person changed my art / tags and basically uploaded the changed image to his blog, hiding behind good intentions. "B" did not receive permission for such actions. Even with an indication of authorship. I am most outraged by such actions at the moment.
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Better look on the two images compared to each other. 
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And after that, everyone wants me to try to understand how bad I was and how poor they are, that from a simple argument that could have ended without even starting, it turned into an absurd clowning with offended people, insults and changing someone else's drawings and whole character reaction. Just a note. Fiar is not so nice, he’s a wild monster leech and he just grumbles about everything as much as he don’t understands why some people willing to let him eat them. He’ll never say something as “I’ll keep you safe”.  
There it is. The comedy of a three days.
This post is for informational purposes only. Namely, how I see this situation.
All I want now is for "B" to delete the post, and for both sides to banal block each other, so that we never meet again.
I refuse to apologize to "B" for their latest act of outraging my drawing by completely distorting the meaning from a neutral drawing to something that only "B" and their friend like. In conclusion I can say, that I do not call myself a good one in that confrontation. I did some terrible mistakes while talking to both of those people. But it’s not only I’m here being on the bad side. People are not black and white. 
After this I’ll not respond to any of the continuation of that conflict anymore. I’m tired of this.
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