#i’m just saying that the 2012 boys would be go INSANE | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

galaxythreads · 5 months

Note

Hello! I’ve liked your fics for a long time, and was wondering if you would write something with fem- presenting Loki? There are some gender-fluid Loki fics on ao3, but I Need More To Live. I would write one, but I wouldn’t ever finish it.

I really want Loki to join the avengers in 2012 so that the other stuff doesn’t happen. sometimes I want Loki and Natasha to make fun of the rest of the avengers.

Idk I just really like the idea that Loki and Natasha would be friends. Or Loki and Wanda. (Except for all of the aforementioned characters got done so dirty by MCU. Isn’t that like a trope? Kill off the girl so the guy has a motivation to defeat the bad guy? Like from Green Lantern or something?

And Loki and Wanda got rewritten.). Whatever. I’m PERFECTLY OKAY! *eye twitches*

That kind of turned into a rant. Sorry.

Here are more of my headcanons, because I’d rather dm someone on tumblr instead of actually making a post on my blog. I’m weird.

-Loki was friends with Tchaikovsky and Mozart and Shakespeare. Maybe even Paganini, or like Ada Lovelace. Or Albert Einstein. Basically a lot of historical figures and also musicians from the 1980s.

-Loki is an honorary gay, because he’s an alien and aliens don’t have human concepts of gender and sexuality. But also you saw that 🏳️‍🌈hand flip🏳️‍🌈 he did in the 1602 episode. I mean, he was just being so gay in that 1602 episode. It was beautiful.

-Loki is a sad little boi. 🥺🥺

-Loki is a good little boi who got did dirty by MCU and Odin. (🥺🥺)

-Loki isn’t always a boy.🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️(unfortunately no gender-fluid flag emojis so 💕🤍💜🖤💙)

-Loki knows all the languages.

-Loki would watch anime and Kdramas if HE WASN’T DEAD.

-Loki is a theater kid.

-Loki is cat

-Loki knows how to play ALL the instruments. He likes cello the best though. Also he has perfect pitch.

-Loki needs therapy. Like two blue whales worth of therapy.

-If Tony and Loki ever had a long conversation, they would figure out how to solve world hunger and climate change and overpopulation AND THEIR MOTHERS. (It doesn’t make sense but just roll with it)

-Loki is a Major Fucking Nerd About Everything.

-Loki likes calculus as a hobby.

-Loki is, (un?)fortunately, a British stereotype.

-Loki ships appledash and narusasu.

Thank you for coming to my Ted talk. Bye, and thanks for letting me dump headcanons on you.

Hi! Thank you so much for sharing all of these with me, it's so fun to see other people's headcanons about Loki and their excitement about his character. I love discussing this blorbo and cracking him open like an onion to peal away layers of trauma and reveal the nerd beneath.

Lol, the amount of times I've thought about doing an MCU rewrite post a1 to fix everything is insane. If I did do this, I'd actually probably start at civil war, because personally, I feel like everything was (generally) actually okay and enjoyable until infinity war. Civil war is just a good place to kick around the fix-its because everything is such a mess.

As far as your request goes, it might surprise you, but you're actually NOT the first person to approach me about a genderfluid, fem-presenting Loki. More like the....4th? or maybe 5th? Idk. I've definitely been approached by multiple people over the years about this. Firstly, thank you for trusting me with your idea and your headcanons, I'm humbled and honored that you would approach me about this because you believed I would be able to write the story in a way that you would find meaningful and enjoyable <3

Second - I really just don't know. My first inclination is to say no, not because I'm not interested or don't care, but mostly because I'm so busy right now I really don't know when I'll be able to get to the story. Plus, I'm really not sure how to go about this. I'd need to figure out what direction I wanted to take the story, because Loki being genderfluid wouldn't change that much except their outward appearance. Loki + genderfluid + Natasha friendship is an amazing concept, but it's not a...plot, if that makes sense? "Fixing" a1 could be 50,000,000 separate things, and if it goes out as a fix-it for mcu, that would be an enormous project. Easily 200k-400k+, which would take me like...uh 1-3 years to write.

Loki being genderfluid IS something I've thought about just adding to my fics in general now (i'm really not sure, because I love cis male Loki, and I know it's canon that he's genderfluid, but I kind of disregard most things from the series anyway?) but Idk?

+ and this is just a personal one for me, but I don't know how to include Loki being genderfluid as a major part of the plot/story right now. Like, for example, I've been in the process of dumping all of my religious lgbtq+ trauma on peter parker in a (massive) one-shot that revolves around Peter learning to accept himself as being gay, but the point of the story is that Peter doesn't accept himself at first and the conclusion is when he does. (I don't know if I'm ever going to share or finish that fic by the way, so don't look for it) I don't know how to take the concept of this story, turn it into a fix-it for Avengers 1 with Natasha, and have a meaningful story about being genderfluid at the same time?

Like to me there's two different ways to go about lgbtq+ stories: a story about being gay that is intended to talk about lgbtq+ experiences and focus heavily on that, vs a story where the character is lgbtq+ and it's just part of their character and not something we spend a lot of time talking about because we don't need to. The story isn't about them being lgbtq+ specifically, it's about the character. Recently, a lot more media has started doing the latter, which is really, really nice because I don't feel like being lgbtq+ has to be justified every 20 lines.

The story I'm writing about Peter Parker is the former. It's about being gay. The entire story revolves around it. What I can tell from what you're saying is that you want something where Loki just IS genderfluid, but it's not something we spend a whole lot of time discussing because the story isn't ABOUT being genderfluid, it's about fixing mcu with genderfluid Loki as the main character, if I'm understanding this correctly? Which is fine and I absolutely support it because there is nothing wrong with writing genderfluid Loki and I wholeheartedly support those authors.

So i guess to shorten this - because this isn't just like a ~5-15k one-shot (which are about the only length of requests I can successfully complete right now), as respectfully as I can, I'm going to have to lovingly turn you down. I'm not saying no, I'll never write about genderfluid Loki, because I'm like 90% sure I will eventually, but I just don't know about a fix-it for MCU from the first Avengers. One suggestion I have is maybe, if you really really need to see this come to fruition, is to just write a bunch of one-shots that are interconnected based on each of your headcanons and then publish it as an interconnected series, not so much a full length novel like I would write. I can easily see this being a really enjoyable series. Best of luck

~galaxy <3

#loki #fic request #lgbtq #galaxy's writing #i'm so sorry really #i can tell that you have SO MUCH passion for this 'verse and I wish that I had the energy to bring this to life for you #but I'm just so busy and so mentally ill and I just wish I could pick this out of my brain and gift it to you instead #but i just...#ghusdghsd #i'm sorry #:/#i'm so burned out with writing right now #i think rewriting my og novel 4 times and the second book twice on top of all the fic projects I've been doing #kind of left me a very burnt out husk

15 notes · View notes

miss-andromeda · 1 year

Text

It's Been a Long Time, Hasn't It?

Universe: TMNT 2012

Turtle of Choice: Donatello

Prompt: “What are you doing in my bed?”

Title: It’s Been a Long Time, Hasn’t It?

Song Used: seven by Taylor Swift

‘Of course we’re gonna do this again!’ Andi texted back with a little smile on her face, responding to her best friend’s text ‘We are absolutely doing this again because I missed this ❤’. She had just walked into her apartment after spending time at April’s, watching a movie and having dinner with her and her father. It was great to be able to spend time with them again, after the insanity that had come to define the last few months.

It felt just like old times.

She took off her shoes and hung up her cardigan, then switched off the androids and locked the front door, before deciding to head up to her room. She’d probably end up working on another project (except the laser gun, she was really considering scrapping that idea at this point), then change into her pajamas, continue reading War and Peace and-

And there was a turtle in her bed.

Her turtle specifically.

She smiled softly as she heard the quiet whistle from his teeth (that gap was going to be the death of her), but then got past the cuteness factor and realized something.

Why was Donnie not in the lair? And an even better question was, why was he asleep in her room? Did he need her for something, realize she wasn’t home, then just crash in her bed?

That was probably what happened, knowing him.

She felt guilty for waking him up (she knew darn well the boy never slept; he was just as notorious for an inconsistent sleep schedule as her), but at the same time…she needed to sleep.

And not just because she promised April that she would sleep this night as she left the O’Neil home.

After a brief moment of consideration, she finally gave in. She crept over to her bed, gently shaking Donnie by the shoulder to wake him. “Hey…Don, wake up.”

He stirred and groaned, rolling over onto his right side. “Go away, Mikey…I’m trying to sleep…”

Andi rolled her eyes a bit and chuckled to herself. “Wake up, dummy. It’s Andi.” She gently told him, then smiled when he started to open his eyes. “Hi.”

Donnie offered her a sleepy smile. “Hi, enchantress. What are you doing here?”

Andi laughed a bit and shook her head. “Don, honey…you’re in my room.” She told him, then snickered when his eyes widened as he looked at the light pink comforter he was snuggling with, then mumbled an “oh…so I am.”

“Million dollar question is…what are you doing in my bed?”

Donnie went quiet for a moment, his cheeks turning a dark scarlet. “Um…if I say the reason, promise you won’t laugh at me?”

Andi smiled at him, leaning forward to peck the corner of his mouth. “Promise.”

Donnie smiled lightly at that response, then took a breath - though the red hue on his face was still quite prominent. “I, uh…I missed you.”

Andi gave him a confused look. “We just saw each other yesterday, though. We worked on updates to the T-phones, more progress towards the retromutagen, then decided to stop after working for the whole day.”

“Yeah, I know…I still missed you.” Donnie admitted with a quieter tone. “I don’t like not seeing you every day…you went to school, then went back with April to her apartment and spent the whole day together. Which I’m not mad about, at all! I just…” Donnie’s eyes averted to the comforter again. “...I love having my lab partner with me, and without you…it just doesn’t feel the same.”

Gah, why did he have to be so cute?

Andi smiled softly and leaned in to give him a proper kiss this time. “Well, I’m here now. And I feel bad for waking you, but…maybe you could stay here a little while with me?” Now she was blushing a bit at the thought of the two of them spending time together in her room - at night - but she was willing to stay awake for longer if it meant they could spend some time together.

She practically melted at the sleepy grin Donnie gave her (featuring that gap again) as he scooted over. “Let me just…change into something more comfortable?”

She didn’t wait to see Donnie’s answer as she went to her closet, finding her favorite pajamas and scurrying off to the bathroom.

They may have been dating, but she was in no way ready to let him see her like that.

She changed into her pajamas (giggling to herself at the little design on her breast), then brushed out her hair and put it up in her classic topknot. Grabbing her dress, socks and underwear, she reopened the door and threw the clothes in her hamper, then turned around to see Donnie sitting up and smiling tiredly at her, still rubbing his eyes. When he noticed My Melody on her pajamas, he giggled to himself as he looked at her. “Never perceived you as a fan, enchantress.”

Andi looked down at what he was talking about and huffed a bit, her face turning light pink. “Shut up, they’re cute.”

“Never said they weren’t.”

She merely rolled her eyes and got into bed, softening exponentially when he put his arms around her and propped her up next to him. “Mm…” She leaned against him with a little smile. “You may be onto something, Don…this is really nice.”

“Never underestimate me, my sweet.”

“And I take it back. Don’t want to give you a bigger ego than you already have.”

Donnie laughed and left a little kiss on her temple. “Aw, humor me a bit, Andromeda.”

“Never.” She followed it up with a little kiss on the corner of his lips, then smiled softly when he turned a light red. He always had that kind of reaction when she kissed him.

And she had a feeling it would stay like that for a long time, regardless of the status of their relationship.

Andi met his eyes for a moment and smiled softly at how gentle they looked. She wished she could study them; how could a pair of eyes be so beautiful? So sincere and lovely? How could they always make her swoon? How could-

But her internal questioning was destroyed when he looked away from her and let out a yawn, making her laugh and him titter in embarrassment. “Sorry, Andi…”

“Don’t apologize for a natural reaction, professor.” She kissed his forehead to assure him further. “Are you still tired?”

Donnie nodded a bit, pulling her down to cuddle her in her bed - not noticing the red tint on her cheeks. “A bit. Do you think I should go back to sleep?”

Andi thought for a moment, but eventually nodded. “Probably. I’ll text Leo and let him know you’re gonna sleep here tonight, considering it’s now-” She lazily glanced at the alarm clock on her nightstand. “-10:03 pm.”

He only nodded sleepily as he pulled her closer. She was like a teddy bear with how soft, warm and fluffy she was. And he absolutely loved cuddling with her, and he was so, so tired…

But he couldn’t just relax. Darn him and his Einstein-level intellect.

“Andi?” He mumbled in between another yawn.

“Mm?”

“This is a weird request, but…can you help me fall back asleep?”

“How?”

Donnie hummed for a moment to think, but in his tired mind, there was one thing that came to him. And the fact that it was nagging him told him to just ask for it. “Can you sing me something?”

Andi made a slightly strangled noise in her throat. “Don, are you sure? I sound like I’m dying when I sing.”

“I don’t care, enchantress. I just want to see if that will help.” He weakly opened her eyes, meeting hers with a rare pout on his face. “Please?”

Gah, darn him and his cuteness.

Andi sighed, but gave in nonetheless. “Fine. But it’ll be low so I don’t make your eardrums bleed from my singing.”

Donnie yawned again as he snuggled closer. “Your eardrums only bleed from extremely loud noises, Andi.” He mumbled sleepily.

“You never know. I could make a breakthrough in the medical world.” When Donnie didn’t respond, Andi mumbled to herself at what she could possibly sing. Something quiet, something relaxing-

Wait.

She had it.

She started to remember the lyrics of the latest song she listened to, and suddenly, it came back to her. Perfect.

“Please picture me in the trees

I hit my peak at seven feet

In the swing over the creek

I was too scared to jump in

But I, I was high, in the sky

With Pennsylvania under me…

Are there still beautiful things?”

She noticed the sleepy smile on Donnie’s face as he snuggled closer. Even if she thought she sounded terrible, he looked like she was singing the most beautiful song in the world.

And that made her heart nearly burst.

“Sweet tea in the summer

Cross your heart, won’t tell no other

And though I can’t recall your face

I still got love for you…”

She remembered this part of the song, and it always made her think of him. She brought him even closer and whispered the next few lyrics:

“Your braids like a pattern

Love you to the moon and to Saturn

Passed down like folk songs

The love lasts so long…”

“You sing so beautifully, enchantress…” Donnie mumbled to her, leaving sleepy kisses all over her cheeks. Maybe he was just delirious from sleep, Andi thought.

But when he smiled at her, she could tell he meant it.

This boy was going to be the death of her.

So she kept going. Just for him.

“And I’ve been meaning to tell you,

I think your house is haunted

Your dad is always mad and that must be why

And I think you should come live with me

And we can be pirates

Then you won’t have to cry…”

She instinctively held him a bit tighter at that thought.

“Or hide in the closet

And just like a folk song

Our love will be passed on…”

She then left one more kiss on his forehead, mumbling an “I love you, professor” to him.

“Please picture me in the weeds

Before I learned civility

I used to scream

Ferociously

Anytime I wanted…”

She softly sang a drawn-out ‘ah,’ smiling to herself when she felt him smile against her. Knowing him, he was thinking about her meticulousness, even during something simple as lulling him to sleep.

That was Andi.

“Sweet tea in the summer

Cross my heart, won’t tell no other

And though I can’t recall your face

I still got love for you

Pack your dolls and a sweater

We’ll move to India forever

Passed down like folk songs

Our love lasts so long…”

By the time she finished the song, he was quietly snoring against her, the whistle from his gap making a triumphant return. When she heard that, she rolled her eyes affectionately and rested his head against her pillow, then managed to grab her phone and text Leo, ‘Hey! Sorry, but Don’s gonna stay with me tonight. Have the feeling that if waking him up is futile. I’ll see you guys tomorrow 😌’ She didn’t bother checking to see a reply as she put her phone aside, then put her arms around her love and closed her eyes.

Within minutes, she had fallen asleep as well. She would see the response in the morning.

Right now, she wasn’t about to ruin the atmosphere. Not when Donnie was with her, wrapped up in her arms, and sleeping peacefully because of her.

@thelaundrybitch @leosgirl82 @turtle-babe83 @post-apocalyptic-daydream

Here's my submission for the challenge! Hope it's good and everyone enjoys! 💜💜

#TMNT All 4-1 Challenge #tmnt 2012 #oc #donatello #writing

22 notes · View notes

angrykpoprants · 2 years

Note

as someone whos been in and out of the kpop sphere for well over 10yrs and witnessed 2nd gen -> 3rd gen and now -> 4th gen i know of no other music genre w a history so organized(?) i think it def comes from the insanely fast turnover rate of kpop groups; the 7 year curse is very real and i would argue most groups legacy and peak can usually be distilled into a few years

for example girls generations peak influence was prob from 2009-2013 (gee, genie, hoot, oh, the boys, igab) although theyve had hits outside of that obviously 2009-2013 was still the most profitable w their tours and japanese and american debut and the members started mostly doing solo activities after 2015 notably taeyeon debuted with I in 2015 [so far gd and taeyeon are the most notable kpop soloists w longevity oh hyuna too but hyuna always felt more solo than 4minute or wonder girls]

for big bang i would argue it 2007-2012 (starting w lies, haru haru, tonight and alive eps) although its a bit harder to nail down w big bangs notoriously long hiatus and g-dragon (2008-2014 heartbreaker, one of a kind, coup d’etat) plus taeyang’s (2010-2014 i need a girl, wedding dress, eyes lips nose) solo careers following a different trajectory and peak (2014 mama) arguable that MADE (2015) was their real peak before enlistment and after long hiatus

exo (2013-2017), twice (2015-2020~), shinee (2008-2013), 2NE1 (2009-2014), bts (2015-2020~) [i personally think bts peaked musically between skool luv affair and wings]

you can do this w any group the point is kpops insanely high turnover rate and the industry’s obsession with young and fresh faces makes it so longevity/artistic growth arent as valued as something new (there are an insane amount of rising groups rn ask whos the 4th gen leader on twitter and there will be violence) and kpop idols go into their careers knowing its not sustainable and most will pivot to acting, modeling, going solo, or something else and very few reach any mainstream or critical acclaim as a soloist from a group (big bang’s individual solo work early in their definitely made them stand out among bgs of that era as shinee also all went solo rather successfully they did so after shinee’s peak popularity) i think bts used a similar strategy when giving each member a solo song in wings. there also is always the one person that become the face and most popular eventually synonymous (suzy in miss a, zico in block b, cha eunwoo in astro, wonyoung in ive, hyuna in 4minute) etc. with the group brand thats probably not the idea for the rest of the group but it profitable and kpop companies typically arent too invested in their artists going solo if they wont be successful (contracts are usually only last 7 yrs) [new kpop idols should thank jyj (former tvxq/dbsk) and their lawsuit for korea fair trade commission’s 7 year limit for entertainment contracts; kris luhan tao also continued the sm tradition of sueing for worker’s rights] anyways idk what my point is here ive just been in the kpop meta for too long i feel old and wise but the message to all kpop fans esp new ones… its all capitalism <3 i know some groups self produce or wtv but its all for profit think about why youre buying 6 versions of the same album when you dont even have a cd player and if thats you than more power to you buying things is fun just remember kpop is not that deep bc its run by corporate overlords i’ll leave this with some potentially obscure older recs: a fool of tears - big bang, black hole - shinee, express 999 - girls’ generation, signal - f(x), dont flirt - winner [yg’s who is next was emotional damage produce101 before p101] , change - hyuna, mental breaker - block b (underrated rap line park kyung zico p.o. also from a meta sense bts and block b are very similar bts got a lot more success prob due to smart musical choices and marketing and a little luck

^^^ I don’t really have much to say or add to it. I’m just going to pretty much post it as is. I mean, after seeing the same thing happen 10x times to every Tom, Dick, and Harry you know it’s inevitable.

5 notes · View notes

adamwatchesmovies · 5 months

Text

Playing for Keeps (2012)

While I didn't enjoy this film, that doesn't mean you won't. No matter what I say, the people involved in this project did it: they actually made a movie. That's something to be applauded. With that established...

Playing for Keeps is a nothing of a movie. Its parts are so mismatched that any of them feel like they should be cut to make the picture better but if you went ahead with that advice, there wouldn’t be anything left. It’s not even fascinating bad, or infuriatingly bad, it’s just a waste of time. Even the people in charge seemed to know this, as the DVD for this $55 million dollar romantic comedy has no special features whatsoever, not even a trailer!

Former professional soccer player George Dryer (Gerard Butler) has moved to the United States to rekindle a relationship with his son, Lewis (Noah Lomax). When he begins teaching Lewis’ soccer team, the two have something to bond over, but the numerous single moms attending the games and practices also want George's attention…

Essentially, this is a romantic redemption story. George blew it years ago with Lewis’ mom, Stacie (Jessica Biel). He’s just learned she is engaged to Matt (James Tupper, so not in this movie he hardly feels worth mentioning). George wants to make ammends but things just keep coming up and he winds up disappointing his family over and over. It’s also a wacky romantic comedy centering around this handsome man who's biggest problem is that women just won’t leave him alone. Divorcee Barb (Judy Greer), ex-sportscaster Denise (Catherine Zeta-Jones), and married-but-looking-to-have-an-affair Patti (Uma Thurman) all want to jump on George's bones as often as possible. The women's unshackled libido leads to “hilarious” scenarios where Patti sneaks into what she thinks is George's bedroom (actually, it’s his landlord’s). Later, our protagonist can’t get through a soccer game without getting a call from Barb, who will burst into tears unless he gives her attention. The only real prospect is Denise, but the film subliminally tells you she’s not good for George.

What do I mean by that? Let’s begin by making one thing even clearer: this is not a good movie. It’s so poorly written and so thin you could predict just about every beat, even after downing a dangerous cocktail of sleeping pills and alcohol. The film's agenda is plainly clear: it wants you to want George and Stacie to get back together. Normally, a bad rom-com would do this by making her fiancé a jerk. It’s a cheap tactic that undermines the romantic lady’s intelligence but we’ve seen it done a thousand times. Instead, this film makes you understand the upcoming nuptials should take place because… nothing. Matt has a bad haircut and likes to wear sweaters. That’s all we know about him. I don’t think he and Lewis exchange more than six words in total so the boy won’t be heartbroken after he and his mom split up. After all, she can’t REALLY love Matt. Not when her son’s father says he wants to get back together. I mean yeah she’s getting fitted for a wedding dress but you know how women are; unless they’ve been married for years and are blissfully happy, they’re still fair game ;) That seems to be this story's thesis, anyway. I’d love to see the mirror universe version of this movie, where we focus on Matt, who is this great guy that does everything right but sees his future bride whisked away by her deadbeat ex that screws a different, insane woman every night, shows up late for EVERYTHING, can’t pay his rent, doesn’t even have a job and can’t even ride on the coattails of his past fame because he’s a European soccer player in the U.S.

I don’t actually think this film has any kind of twisted beliefs about what families should be like but I am going to point out that the woman George has the most in common with, the one he should get romantically involved with is discarded because she does things the movie wants you to believe are wrong. I’m probably looking too much into it but you don’t have to find any weird angle to see this film as mysoginist, or just plain stupid.

We haven’t even gotten to the other sub plot involving Carl King (Dennis Quaid), Patti's pompous, unfaithful husband. He bribes George with a fat stack of bills to ensure his daughter will sing the national anthem at the beginning of each match while his son always serves as the team goalie. You think the bribe thing is going to lead somewhere. It doesn’t.

Playing for Keeps knows what it wants to be - sorta - it’s just hobbled by all of these extraneous elements that someone was too infatuated with to cut. It's the worst kind of mess - a forgettable one. (On DVD, September 9, 2021)

#Playing for keeps #movies #films #movie reviews #film reviews #Gabriele Muccino #Robbie Fox #Gerard Butler #Jessica Biel #Uma Thurman #Catherine Zeta-Jones #Dennis Quaid #Judy Greer #James Tupper #Aiden Potter #Noah Lomax #2012 movies #2012 films

0 notes

downwiththemutantnjnjaturtles · 3 years

Note

How would the boys react to their crush dying in their arms? and her telling them that “ she was trying too protect them like they have her “.

well that was pain :'D

The boys' reactions to their crush dying in their arms.

WARNING: big, big angst. don't read if you don't want to be upset. could be Bayverse or 2012.

Leo.

• His first instinct was to scream for Donnie.

• "What were you thinking, [y/n]!?" he asked, his voice shaking.

• Kept pressure on your wound as he held you in his arms, but it didn't matter. You were bleeding out.

• You told him that you wanted to protect him, for once.

• "I was supposed to be the one protecting, not you," he choked out. He couldn't contain the cracks in his voice.

• He knew you were dying. So he pressed his forehead to yours, tears raining onto your face.

• Hung his head over you as you exhaled your last breath and wept silently. His arms trembled while his hands gripped your shoulders.

• Remained with your body for a while just sitting there staring at your face, your wound, blaming himself, before the spirit of the blue flame slowly ignited. For the first time, he truly felt vengeful.

Donnie.

• Was on the verge of a panic even when he went into thinking of everything he could possibly do to save your life.

• "I have you, I have you," he stammered. He rejected the idea that he couldn't save you.

• He kneeled down and held you to his plastron.

• When you told him why you did it, he let out a sound of distress. "You can't put yourself in the middle of this, I could have taken it!" he said hurriedly, distracted by trying to figure out what you needed.

• And then he noticed you were beginning to look distant. That your gaze were focused on nothing in particular.

• Cupped your cheeks in his hands as your pulse weakened.

• "[Y/N]? No, stay awake! I just need—I just—!"

• There was nothing he could do.

• The cold realization hit him, and it was the most openly he'd sobbed since he was a child. But behind those tears was the beginnings of a bitterness he'd never felt before.

Raph.

• "[Y/N]! No, no, no, why did you do that?! Are you insane?!"

• Despite sounding angry, his voice cracked and it was the start of his panic-shutdown.

• Everything around him phased out of existence in that moment.

• Was already almost in tears by the time he had you in his arms, but when he realized you were slipping away, they fell.

• Couldn't handle hearing you say that you wanted to protect him.

• "That ain't how this goes…I'm the one that protects you," he said through tears, gently nudging your face to keep you with him.

• Kissed you as you departed.

• Tears streaming down his face, he gently picked you up and planted a sorrowful kiss on your temple before laying you back down, and was filled with black rage.

Mikey.

• Collapsed to the ground with you, hovering over you as he registered what had happened.

• He didn't know exactly what happened until he worriedly ran his hands over you. That's when he found the wound.

• "Oh God," he breathed out, tears already starting to spill.

• Held you almost too tightly as he tried to comfort you, rocking back and forth slightly.

• When he asked you why you took the hit for him, it only made him lose it even more.

• "You shouldn't have done that," he whispered hoarsely, his head buried in your neck. "You're going to be okay...you're going to..."

• But you weren't going to.

• Couldn't find the strength to part with you as you left him. He didn't stop holding your body until Leo told him it was time to go.

#tmnt #teenage mutant ninja turtles #tmnt leonardo #tmnt raphael #tmnt donatello #tmnt michelangelo #tmnt leo #tmnt mikey #tmnt donnie #tmnt raph #tmnt 2014 #tmnt 2016 #tmnt x reader #tmnt bayverse

358 notes · View notes

emotions-ew · 3 years

Text

A Collection of Queer Country Artists and Songs for anyone who doesn’t feel like there’s country music they can relate to...

There is this idea that country music is like just Republican men singing about beer, and trucks and also Jesus, and that is kind of fair because loads of it is but there are some cool as hell queer/lgbtq+ country artists. Finding those and finding that representation in a genre of music I was literally raised on kind of changed my life in a tiny way and I wanted to share that.

(This is by no means a comprehensive list and also I’m basing the “Country” part of this sometimes on my subjective opinion/limited music knowledge so yuh please don’t hate me if I get some wrong)

Also link below for a Spotify playlist of my favourite gay/gayish country music, some mentioned in this post some not, (with a title that isn’t obviously gay for anyone who can’t openly listen to gay stuff on their public accounts for whatever reason) so feel free to skip the massive essay and just jump straight to that. And pretty please repost if I missed anyone/ any songs you love.

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/7KB6PmUxnpkU7lih8Bysvw

Artists To Follow:

Chely Wright

- Right off the bat, Chely Wright is a legend and I’m in love with her. So, in the 90′s Chely Wright was kind of a huge deal. She started her career as a singer/songwriter and released her first album in ‘94, which was critically acclaimed although never reached the commercial success of her later works. By ‘97 she was really hitting her stride, dropping her breakout hit “Shut up and Drive” (a personal favourite of mine) followed two years later by the biggest hit of her career “Single White Female”. Throughout all that Chely Wright was, to the world, a good old fashioned, heterosexual southern gal. Privately it was a bit of a different story. She had public relationships with male country artists, all while pursuing a secret decade long relationship with a woman.

I hadn’t ever really heard a Chely Wright song until a few years ago so I never knew about her music or career pre-coming out but I do know that even though by the time she came out in 2010 she was by no means at the height of her fame Chely Wright is kind of one of the biggest names in country music to be out and proud (in my opinion) and I love her like an insane amount. I literally play her music in my car when I have passengers just so I can be like “fun fact this singer is actually gay-” and then subject them to a lengthy explanation of her entire career. She came out with an album and a memoir and the album is my favourite of her work because it’s so fucking raw and because I relate to most of it immensely. Anyways Chely Wright went fucking through it in her journey to being her authentic self and now she’s out and proud and married to a woman and they have a family together and I’m a fucking sucker for a happy ending and y’all should add her to every playlist you have. And on top of that her music is genuinely good. Coming out undoubtedly damaged her career but I think that

Brandi Carlile

- As far as I can tell Brandi Carlile has been out her whole career. I feel like this list is just going to be me saying “I’m in love with her” about a bunch of women old enough to be my mother but in my defence, I am honestly in love with her. She’s been making music since she was like, seventeen, and has had a bunch of massive hits, as a singer, songwriter, and producer. If you want to cry kind of happy tears listen to her performance of “Bring my Flowers Now” with Tanya Tucker. She’s won Grammy’s and CMT awards and she’s done it all as an out Queer woman. She’s also a founding member of The Highwomen, an all-female country music group who released their first album in 2019, comprised of Carlile, Marren Morris, Natalie Hemby and Amanda Shires. I really love this band because they’re four artists who are immensely successfully in their own right collabing, much like the Highwaymen, and their music is phenomenal while also being a fuck you to mainstream country music and their inability to properly represent women in country music spaces.

She’s been married to a woman (smoking hot and also brilliant) since 2012 and they have two kids together and if you want to cry (again) then you have to listen to her song “Mother” about her eldest daughter. A queer country artist absolutely worth adding to all your playlists.

Brooke Eden

- As I understand it Eden came out publicly in January of this year. She’s engaged to Hilary Hoover, who she’s been dating since 2015 apparently. I can’t even imagine the pressure that must be on a person and how stressful it would be to keep a relationship secret from the whole world for years and personally I think they’re a cute as hell couple and I wish them literally all the happiness in the world.

Brooke Eden has a few older songs that I think are really good, my favourite being “Act Like You Don’t”, and while her new stuff isn’t my usual country vibe I am a sucker for literally anything gay and it is legally my gay duty to stream any song that she releases to support my fellow queer. It’s quite different to anything Wright or Carlile sing but I actually kind of love that because it shows that country music of all different shapes and sizes and styles can be sung by queer artists.

Amythyst Kiah

- Okay so I am a very new listener to Amythyst Kiah, but her music is literally so beautiful it would be a straight up sin to not include her on this list. Her music is country-blues-roots esq (more roots than country, I think?) and her voice is so unique. She grew up in Chattanooga and has been playing music since childhood. She recently made her Opry debut which is fucking awesome. She also belongs to a band called Our Native Daughters, described as “A supergroup of Black women in traditional music”. Their debut album “Songs of Our Native Daughters” did numbers and I haven’t listened to the whole thing but my favourite so far are “Black Myself” and “I Knew I Could Fly” so y’all add that to your playlists along with “Wild Turkey” by Amythyst Kiah because holy hell her voice on that will blow your mind.

Steve Grand

- The first man to make this list, he should frankly be honoured. Grand has been an out and proud gay man making country music since like 2013, and I have so much respect for an artist who chose to simply never be in, choosing instead to simply write gay ass songs about being in love with men and letting the chips fall where they man. His music is always going to have a special place in my heart and, he’s cute so if you’re into men and music by men give him a google. add him to your playlists, his All-American Boy album is literally just a dozen songs that are perfect to yell-sing along to.

Katie Pruitt

- Not hugely knowledgeable on Katie Pruitt but her music makes me feel crazy intense emotions and is absolutely gay

Honorable Mention Artists I haven’t Really Listened to But Who I Know to be gay thanks to google and might be your thing so totally check them out:

Brandy Clark

Ty Herndon

Shelly Fairchild

Lavendar Country

Trixie Mattel

Cameron Hawthorn

Drop any other names of artists or songs you know of

Specific Songs That Make Me Fucking Cry or (in good and bad ways (but always in a gay way)) or basically are just gay as hell:

If She Ever Leaves Me; The Highwomen

- So, this album came out about a week before my first (and only) girlfriend broke up with me. The general gist of the song is a woman singing about how her loved isn’t ever going to leave her but if she does it sure as hell won’t be for a creepy man in a bar. A little ironic that I felt I related to it so intensely, considering she did in fact leave me. There’s this one lyric that goes “I’ve loved her in secret/I’ve lover here out loud/the sky hasn’t always been blue” and my girlfriend and I were crazy deep in the closet so I drew her a cute little picture of a grey cloud and on the back I wrote that lyric and I gave it to her and to me it was kind of a promise that one day I’d get a chance to love her out loud and even though I never actually did this song is forever going to make me cry because of the little bit of hope that lyric gave me and the way it’s inclusion on this overwhelmingly mainstream country album made me feel like acceptance was just that little bit closer.

All American Boy; Steve Grand

- Definitely one of the first gay country songs I ever heard, and Steve Grand didn’t once sacrifice a scrap of country for the gay. It’s beautiful, it’s a little sad, it’s hopeful. It’s forever going to hold a special place in my heart and the music videos is kind of one of my favourites ever. I found this song before I found myself and the way it made my heart warm should have been a stronger sign than I took it to be.

Like Me; Chely Wright

- When you love someone you kind of make it your mission to know them in a way that no one else can. This song by Chely Wright is sort of an ode to that, and how even once you lost someone, you’re still going to know every little thing about them. On top of that it sort of speaks to the idea that all these things Wright learned about this woman, she learned in secret and she knew her and loved her in secret and now that they’re gone from each other she’s left with all of this knowledge and all of these questions and no one to answer them. I love the way it’s so slow and the melody and her voice, the way it’s low and a little raspy, make this one of my favourite Chely Wright songs.

The Mother; Brandi Carlile

- Sorry but a song about being a mother by a queer woman is going to make me cry every time and actually I’m not that sorry. It’s quite a simple song, if any song written by Brandi Carlile can ever be described as ‘simple’, it’s an ode to her daughter. My favourite line is “you are not an accident/where no one thought it through” because it speaks to the fact that in order for queer women to have a kid together they have to want it so damn bad and also I just like the way her voice sounds on that line. This song is also the perfect thing to listen to if you ever for a second feel like being gay/queer is going to stand in the way of you having a family because it absolutely doesn’t have to and if that’s something you want, you can have it. Don’t let people try and convince you otherwise.

Loving Her; Katie Pruitt

- Unapologetic gay love. Opening a song with “If loving hers a sin, I don’t wanna go to heaven” is a fucking baller move and she went there. The lyrics are beautiful, and her voice is phenomenal. It could be a sad song, about confronting religious repression and grappling with what that means for your love, but instead its triumphant. Katie Pruitt doesn’t give a fuck if you have a problem because she’s going to write songs for her lover.

Jesus From Texas; Semler

- Not actually totally sure this is a country song, but it has the words ‘Jesus’ and ‘Texas’ in the title so I feel safe including it in this list. Honestly, I don’t really know why I relate so hard to this song. Like, I wasn’t really raised with religion, so I don’t know what it is about this funky little tune that makes me want to sob but there’s something about this tune that makes me want to do whatever the opposite of get up and dance is, but like, in a good way.

Lovin’ Again; Steve Grand

- Breakup song that ends kind of positively? So good to sing along to at high, high volumes. The idea that losing someone doesn’t have to mean losing yourself and just because you can’t love them doesn’t mean you’re not ever going to love again. But also kind of about how it’s hard to get over someone, I don’t know it’s just good.

Cryin’ These Cocksucking Tears; Lavender Country

- Jesus christ if this isn’t the coolest shit I’ve ever heard in my life. Sorry but a gay country group formed in 1972 who dropped possibly the first gay themed country album, and this was the title of one of the songs. God I am in love.

Songs that (to me) are a little fruity or that I just relate to in a gay way:

Picket Fences; Chely Wright

- Chely Wright is gay but this song came out long before she did and when she wrote it, it wasn’t supposed to be gay which is why it’s in this section and not the previous. The reason it’s included at all is because frankly ma’am, Mrs Wright, it’s a little fruity. And I feel a little bad for joking because honestly to me, the way I hear this song and knowing the context (that Wright was deeply closeted at the time she wrote and released it), it’s kind of just sad. The general gist of the song is Wright asking what’s so great about a traditional lifestyle anyways. It could be read as a woman genuinely questioning why we push that expectation that she’ll have two kids and a husband and a picket fence lifestyle, or even could be read as a woman who’s trying to deflect how much she does in fact want that, you have to listen and form your own opinion. But to me, it feels like a woman who’s desperately trying to justify why she doesn’t want that life not because she can’t have it, but she knows it will never be right for her. I don’t know it’s hard to explain I just feel like this song is a little bit gay even though I’m sure she didn’t intend that.

Sinning with You; Sam Hunt

- Sorry but this song is gay. Sorry but you can’t write the lines “I never felt like I was sinning with you/Always felt like I could talk to God in the morning” and “if it’s so wrong why did it feel so right” and “But I never felt shame, never felt sorry/Never felt guilty touching your body” and not to mention the opening line of “raised in the first pew/praises for yeshua/case of a small town repression”, and expect to not sit in my car sobbing as I realised that while I never felt like what we did was a sin she absolutely did, and wishing I could have told her that I was sorry for making her carry the weight of both our souls but also that it wasn’t a sin and nothing in the world could feel that good and be that bad and it isn’t right that she had to be so ashamed of something that was just so good. Sam Hunt actually said after he wrote the song that while it was reflection on his own relationship with faith he genuinely hopes that people in the lgbtq community can like find comfort or whatever in his words and like go off king, we stan an ally.

How do I Get There; Deana Carter

- This ones easy, it’s about falling in love with your best friend and suddenly realising you want more than just friendship with them. Sorry Deana, that’s gay. In my Deana Carter of like Year 10 I played this song on repeat and screamed along to the lyrics as though singing it hard enough would make her like me back.

58 notes · View notes

rosequartzwriting · 4 years

Text

Whatever It Takes

Pairing: Doctor Strange X Fem!Reader

Description: After Stephen flew away as dust, you had taken care of the world. But The Avengers approached you with an idea to bring everyone back. You joined them, now finding yourself up against Thanos alongside your partner again.

Warnings: Funeral scene

Word Count: 1.8k

A/N: Originally posted to Quotev

Part 1: Infinity War Story

Part1.5: Hypothetical Endgame (original plot)

Five years later, and you and the Avengers were so close to victory.

After spending weeks stranded on a ship with Tony and Nebula, starving and so close to not making it, being brought back to Earth gave you a spark of hope.

You took over in protecting the Sanctum, and staying in contact with the Avengers. Spending countless hours perfecting your magic, getting stronger and being the best you knew Stephen wanted you to be. You still grieved, and fell into a depressed state while trying to improve your magic. What else did you have to live for when the one you love is gone? That spark of hope soon began to die.

When they called you to help with their idea of time travel, you instantly took up the offer, wanting everything to be back the way it was. You were assigned in getting the Time Stone, and went back to 2012 to only find The Ancient One protecting it. She recognized you, oddly since this was a past version of her, but that told you she probably saw into the future ahead of time. She gave you the stone when you told her Stephen gave it up, and said that he did that for a reason.

Things seemed to be falling into line perfectly, when the stones were together and Bruce reversed half the universe dying. But that's when chaos erupted. Destruction, ruin, and fear when Thanos showed up.

Now you watched in shock as Cap laid there, badly beaten and out of breath, knowing you needed to jump in. The cloak flowed around you, dancing in the wind as you flew down to stand beside Steve. You stared down Thanos, and summoned energy to create the Rings of Raggadorr. You felt your body shake with power, energy flowing around you catching the cloak and your hair. Thanos had taken down Tony, Thor and Steve now...

But he still had to go through you.

There was shuffling at your feet, and Cap started to get back up. You shook off one of your rings and offered a hand to pull him up. Your hands stayed locked when he fully rose, and he gave you a solid nod. His blood and dirt soaked face, his pale graying skin, pained your heart. Yet he stood with you, ready to keep fighting.

Whatever it takes.

Then there was a sparking sound, and you whipped your head around. You knew that sound, the sound of a sling ring portal opening. Portals began to open around the battle field, people stepping out in large numbers and recognizable faces all coming together. A massive Wakandan army, a goddess on a pegasus, friends of Steve and Tony, Pepper in a Iron Man suit, sorcerers baring the mystic arts and countless more powerful beings.

At the centre of it all, was Stephen.

It hit you that this was his plan from back on Titan, and he called everyone here to finish it.

Without hesitation the cloak flew you over to him, and you couldn't help yourself but threw your arms around him. He did it back and the cloak left your shoulders to rest itself on his.

"Sorry I’m so late," He said, and hearing his voice again was enough to make your eyes water, "but this is how we win."

You looked at him taking in the features of his face; his determined filled eyes, and tight jaw. This told you he was ready for a fight. Glimpsing around you, warriors of all different abilities surrounded the area. Something told you that this was it, the fight of your life.

And you were ready.

"Avengers!" Captain America called out to your army.

You glanced at Stephen, smirked, and threw your hands down to summon a spell. It exploded around you, powerful energy engrossing your body. His eyes lit up, and he smiled.

And you were an Avenger.

"Assemble..."

You ran into battle, and all the strength detonated.

You found yourself battling will all the power built up over the years, and also all the trauma and the pain. Let it all go. Patterns forming and sparks flickering from your hands, exploding with everything you had bottled up inside.

You fought aliens that you plowed through in no time. You fought with a large ensemble of other women Avengers, a special moment that will stick with you. You fought Thanos off for a bit, wanting to avenge the one you love. You fought to help pass along the gauntlet with the stones, ready to finish this.

And you fought back to back with him, Stephen. A feeling incomparable to anything else.

This course of events went by so fast, and you kept up perfectly.

~~~

You were exhausted and just when you thought you couldn't summon anymore power or energy, your enemies began to fade away into dust. Breathing heavily and taking a long sigh, you looked around at your fellow warriors and Avengers around the battle field.

You were looking for one person, and he was behind you.

Using the last scrapes of adrenaline left in your veins, you broke out into a run. Nothing else mattered to you when you jumped onto Stephen, but the rush of having him right there. It was almost surreal, you watched him die in your arms years ago.

"We won?" You asked frantically, eyes wide with excitement and relief as you looked up at him.

Stephen chuckled, and it filled your heart with happiness, "Yes, we won."

You wrapped your arms around his neck and held him tightly.

"And I thought you fighting on Titan was the most powerful I've seen you."

You tried to laugh, but it came out as a choke as tears threatened to fall.

He held your face, looking past all the dirt and scratches and blood, and seeing the one he loves. "I'm so proud of you."

You threw yourself forward and kissed him. You've been waiting for five years. His arms snaked around you, one wrapping around your waist and the other cradling the back of your head. This feeling, of being in his arms, you missed it so much.

"I missed you so much," Your voice shuttered in between kisses.

"I know, (Y/N). I know."

Then you realized something, "You gave up the stone for me..."

"They needed you alive," He replied, leaving a soft kiss on your lips that lingered, "and you did it. I'm so so so proud of you."

Cries interrupted, and you parted to see a few people crowding around a body.

"Tony..."

~~~

The funeral was small and quiet. Hushed conversations and mutual sadness swept through the air around Tony and Pepper's property, everyone dressed in black to show their respects.

You and Stephen were sitting by the lake. Throughout the day, the tears threatened to burst from your eyes, but you held them in. It was beautiful out here, warm sun and fresh wind dancing over the water, but it didn't change your mood.

"I'm gonna miss him." You said.

Stephen cleared his throat, "I will too. But you had five years to know him."

"Yeah." You forced yourself to smile. "He sure was something." Memories ran back into your mind. "I remember when we were stranded on that ship, he was ready to die and going insane when we got back. And arguing with him was a real chore."

Stephen laughed.

"I'd come visit him here when I needed time away from the Sanctum. I remember when Morgan was so tiny. She likes our magic you know."

He chuckled, "Well, we're going to have to visit her and Pepper regularly than."

You smiled for real, "He was a good friend."

Stephen squeezed your hand, a gesture that answered what words couldn't. Silence fell for a little, then he fully turned to you.

"I'm sorry you had to spend five years trying to figure this out, and me leaving you. It was only a split second for me." He looked pained, that look in his eyes that told you he was vulnerable. "But it had to happen for it to work out in the end. It had to be, so it could be like this again. So I could be here for you again."

You reached up and stroked his cheek, he leaned into your touch while not breaking eye contact.

"I'm just happy you're back."

"But you went through so much."

"I know."

"You haven't told me much about that yet."

You took a deep breath, "Stranded in space, starving and dying. Long days of trying to think of anything I could do to reverse it and working with the Avengers to do so. Protecting the Sanctum by myself, and trying to piece back together Kamar Taj and the other sanctums. Feeling alone for so long...years of wish for you back..."

Stephen instantly pulled you into him when you held back a sob. Stroking your hair and kissing your face, "I'm so sorry"

"It's not your fault..."

"If I had the chance," He started, "I would have taken your place."

Your heart broke even more.

"Don't say that."

"I would have done it in a heartbeat."

You both sat there in each others presence in comfortable silence. Then Stephen opened his mouth to say something to add, but he was interrupted.

"(Y/N)..."

The sound of a familiar voice made you turn your head, and Peter Parker was standing behind you both. He must have heard you talking about your experience. You bonded with Peter back when this all started. He is the sweetest and purest human you have ever met, and seeing the pain in his tear glittered eyes made your heart break all over again.

You instantly stood up and the two of you fell into each others arms, and the quiet sobs of you both choked out. You both cried for Tony, and you both cried for your time spent.

"Don't cry honey," You held Peter tighter, "he wouldn't want you to."

The boy looked up at you, "He wouldn't want you to either."

More tears streamed down your face, and you did your best to wipe his away. A bit away you could see his aunt May watching you both, pained at the sight she was seeing.

"You went through it all..." Peter choked, and you nodded. "What was it like?"

There was only one word to describe it: "Hell."

Peter went back into hugging you, as if he was trying to make your five years of agony better. It was like he was trying to pull the pieces of your shattered heart back together. This is what you did for him back when he was crying over Tony's body back when the battle ended, holding him to give him someone, and he wanted to return it. You smiled and looked over your shoulder at Stephen, who was trying to keep a neutral face. But you knew that face, and he felt for you.

You turned back to the boy holding you tightly, "I never forgot you though, Pete."

"I hoped you wouldn’t forget.”

#doctor strange x reader #doctor strange #stephen strange #stephen strange x reader #marvel fanfiction #marvel #avengers endgame #reader insert #reader insert fanfiction #reader #avengers #mcu #doctor strange fanfiction #benedict cumberbatch

359 notes · View notes

hsmtmts-justsomewriting · 3 years

Text

Not to be your stereotypical second semester senior but EJ Caswell is a bit too busy to be thinking about sports metaphors...

(Alternative title- overcommitted..sounds like a Caswell)

Senior year was insanely busy. Being so overwhelmed EJ had been slowing down over the last couple weeks, but he was brushing it off just fine.

EJ has arrived late that day, which was unusual in itself, as he prides himself on being on time. Holding a half eaten packet of Oreos he shuffled into the rehearsal room slumping on the bleachers away from his chattering cast mates.

“EJ honey great you could join us, you’d think a senior couldn’t get lost in the halls!” Miss Jenn giggled at her own joke as the cast were suddenly alerted to the older boys presence. EJ absentmindedly nodded and grabbed out his script.

“Yeah...sorry..um...where are we at?”

“Page 63” “Cool... thanks”

Flipping to that part in the script, he looks up to take in the scene. Kourtney, Gina, Seb and Carlos are clearly half way through blocking a castle scene- Carlos complaining his arms are tired from ‘staying in character’, Kourtney and Seb working out where they are going to come in from and how to negotiate Sebs big box costume (although it’s proving very difficult considering the rehearsal room is about a quarter of the size of the stage) and Gina is animatedly discussing the scene choices with Miss Jenn.

Within an instant, EJ is startled from the scene as Natalie is beside him rambling something about ‘needing a fill in for cogworth’ ‘went home sick’. Sauntering up with his script, EJ’s vision goes spotted as he gets up from the bleachers. But as soon as it comes it’s gone.

He just needs to get through this rehearsal, then he can; go home, finish his debate speech, go over the plays for Friday’s waterpolo match, study for tomorrow’s maths assessment, start his exam notes, memorise his lines, work on his college applications, and maybe even get some sleep.

Joining the cast he tries to hide in the back corner. Following the basic blocking directions seemed harder than usual, his head had began to pound and fatigue hit him like a wave.

However he continued on, sluggish but present helping them to finish blocking the scene.

Walking back to his place on the bleachers EJ trips over his own feet. Catching himself before a big splat on the floor he is able to avoid the attention of his cast mates. Well mostly.

“EJ are you ok?”

EJ didn’t need to look up to know that his cousin had definitely seen his little trip.

“Yep fine”

“Ok try again but this time make it the truth”

Ashlyn was caring but firm, she definitely wasn’t going to brush it off. EJ could feel his facade fading under her concerned gaze. His voice drops low.

“I-i just don’t know... Ash, I’m trying-“

“ON TO THE NEXT SCENE Gaston and Le Fou, I need you boys to start down stage right”

EJ got up slowly, subtly steadying himself against a chair not to lose balance.

“Nevermind it’ll be fine”

EJ walks off, with that any vulnerablity on face vanishing, leaving Ashlyn’s stomach to churn in a pool of worry.

Being an after school rehearsal, most of the cast heads off after they start rehearsing the next scene as it only has Gaston and Le Fou. Leaving the rehearsal room with just Miss Jenn, Big Red, EJ, Ashlyn and Gina (the latter two who were waiting on the senior for a ride home).

EJ and Big Red slowly work through the dialogue, the scene is about as smooth as a clunky old railway track. After running it twice EJ feels like his words are melding into one. But pushing through, based off his poor entrenched habits, EJ made it through another run through of the scene.

“Um can we take a five?”

Miss Jenn looks at the senior perplexed, he’s never asked for a five. Ever.

“EJ honey is everything ok?”

“Hm, yeah just need a sec”

EJ’s exhausation catches up with him, the light seems to highlight the bags under his eyes. He drops onto the bleachers, resting his head in his hands he closes his eyes for a second.

“Miss Jenn, EJ doesn’t look so good maybe you guys should wrap this up for today-”

“Ash I’m-“

“No. You look exhausted! You barely have the energy to stand up for 10 minutes”

Ashlyn moves to grab him his drink bottle but runs into his iced coffee and Oreo packet first. She flinches. Her cousin never drinks coffee unless he purely needs the caffeine.

EJ freezes she moment he realises she’s seen it.

“When was the last time you slept?!”

All eyes are on him.

“James” His head snapped up. But he couldn’t look his cousin in the eye. Because then she’d see his eyes are glassy with unshed tears. His overwhelmed thoughts race through his mind.

“Ok I think we’ll pick this up next rehearsal, please be safe getting home and get some rest”

The four students start to pack up their bags, Ashlyn asking her boyfriend to give them all a lift. Turning to her cousin, helps him finish packing his stuff.

“You can stay in the guest room, we’re having lasagna tonight”

EJ too tired to protest, walks past his Jeep in the parking lot to get in a smaller orange bug car. He’ll have to come back for it tomorrow because there’s no way he could drive safely in his tired state.

The car ride home was eerily quiet, Ashlyn day in the passenger seat next to Big Red. He drove to Ashlyn’s house like a routine he knew by heart. Gina keep flicking worried glances at EJ but the senior didn’t even notice, having closed his eyes and resting against the window the moment he entered the car.

“Thanks for the ride Biggie”

Gina gentley nudged EJ and his eyes were open in an instant.

“Thanks Red” He mumbled as he got out of the car.

“No worries, take care guys”

As the orange car was disappearing into the distance, Ashlyn unlocked the front door. Gina and EJ follow her into the house.

“James lets go the living room”

EJ follows Ashlyn to the couch, and Gina continues past to grab a drink of water from the kitchen.

“What’s going on?”

Ashlyn puts a hand on his shoulder and gently squeezes it, grounding him and reminding him that she’s here to listen. He looks at the faded colourful rug and his words begin to vomit out softly.

“I’m just trying to get it all done ...and um.. for weeks I just never seem to have enough time, and I still have to do my study notes and finish my assessment and college apps tonight... but I’m just so tired...”

His voice cracks and the wall behind his eyes begin to break.

“I have to stay up so late, to get everything I have to all done...and then polo practice at the crack of dawn... i don’t know.. I just can’t... let anyone down..”

Ashlyn pulls EJ in tightly. His body wracked with sobs, her heart breaks as she hasn’t seen him like this in a long time. Gina initially freezes entering the room just as the senior had begun to cry but soon shifts over beside them engulfing them both in a hug.

Grabbing some tissues and a sip of water he’s able to stop his crying but his tense shoulders give away his overwhelmed mind.

“it will be ok, we’ll work this out. Everyone else will understand if everything is not done right now. You’ve got to take better care of yourself, what matters is if you are ok”

Gina nods in agreeance with Ashlyn as she comforts EJ.

“But for now you need to take a break, just have a quick nap before dinner in the guest room-“

“But I have to-“

“No James you need a rest, all this stuff can come later”

He sluggishly gets up heading for the guest room mumbling a “thanks Ash” as he retreats to his long awaited rest.

After he closes the door, Ashlyn lets out the breath she had been holding. She was convinced they would have to put up more of a fight to get him to go to sleep, but the fact that they didn’t was almost more concerning.

“He did seem a little bit off earlier in the week but yeah I had no idea that this was under the surface”

Gina says to break the silence created by her and Ashlyn’s shocked worry.

“Yeah he’s always been pretty good at bottling this stuff up, definitely a Caswell skill”

Ashlyn starts to pick up the tissues heading to the bin in the kitchen. Both the girls enter the kitchen to finish heating up the leftover lasagna they made yesterday.

While cooking the veggies the girls trade stories of earlier in the day and discuss the spotting of Miss Jenn and Mr Mazzarra at Sliced on Valentine’s. Just as they’re plating up, EJ reappears. He looks somewhat disheveled, wearing sweats and his usually spiked hair is messy like a 2012 Bieber hairstyle. His contacts are long gone being traded for his wide framed glasses.

“Feeling any better?”

Bringing the plates to the table they all sit in their usual seats.

“Yeah a little...thanks guys this looks amazing”

As if on cue his stomach grumbles with excitement and they dig into the food. The three teens continue to tell stories of their day. Although exhausted, a goofy smile makes its way onto EJ’s face while telling the girls about his classmate in English that tried justify his argument quoting spark notes, instead of the actual book.

Once they’re finished, EJ stacks and clears away the plates. Grabbing her laptop, Ashlyn creates a new copy of one of her old timetables modified with all EJ’s stuff. After cleaning the dishes, EJ plops down beside her and together they start to work out.

Half an hour and a warm hot chocolate later, they manage to finish a schedule that looks like it fit a bit of time for everything while keeping a heathy amount of rest time.

“Thank you so much Ash... I really appreciate it”

Ashlyn smiles back at her cousin.

“Just promise me you’ll take care of yourself, or at least you’ll let me know if you need help”

EJ engulfs her in a hug.

“Yeah I will, thanks”

As they both move to join Gina in the lounge room, EJ grabs his laptop to start completing his speech. Flopping down onto the couch, the tv is turned onto a Brooklyn Nine Nine halloween heist episode.

Taking EJs laptop at 9:30, the older boy fell asleep within an instant. Keeping to his promise, he followed the schedule he made with Ashlyn (most of the time at least) and finally learnt how to ask for help when he realised he couldn’t do it alone. And when he asked for help, Ashlyn and Gina were always there with an extra mug of hot chocolate.

Thanks for reading! I’m open to write prompts or suggestions

(...Also if anyone can think of any better names for this please comment because all my thoughts were low key trash😂)

#high school musical the musical the series #hsmtmts #hsmtmts season 2 #hsm the series #ej caswell #ashlyn caswell #gina porter

37 notes · View notes

eirichele · 4 years

Text

a VERY in depth look at fire emblem: three houses and its grooming problem

OR: how this game managed to make an accurate portrayal of grooming and exactly how it made it palatable

(warning: really long. though to be fair, the length is mostly screenshots. you can also read this in google docs)

***

SO i’ve been wanting to write something Formal and In Depth for a while, because this game’s reception has been a nightmare for me and other csa victims and quarantine hit, so i finally had time. i just really wanted to get all my thoughts in one place before i move on from 3h. i’m basically done talking about this after this one because... idk what else i could say that hasn’t been said here, really. fe has history with this, and the in-game excuses ring hollow when we know the fe devs disregard csa victims at every turn while pandering to male gamers who love sexualised teenage girls.

long, long analysis under the cut:

Some previous context: Fire Emblem games have a history of normalising harmful romances

It’s understandable for many to not know the history of the series since 3H was insanely successful and it brought a lot of new fans. Fire Emblem has always been a character driven game where making your units bond was encouraged both for gameplay and story reasons. Some end in special romantic epilogues, and some of those relationships were concerning to say the least: Sylvia, 14 years old, can marry every eligible man in Genealogy of the Holy War, Jill from Radiant Dawn, 18, can marry her father’s protegé who is 34. This is not a new phenomenon for the series, it just became more noticeable and malicious post-Awakening, because it became first person fanservice.

FE decided to rehaul the series sometime in 2011 by including dating sim elements, which made it explode in popularity. Avatars were introduced to represent the player in-game, allowing them to marry whoever they wanted. The first game to include a pseudo-dating sim was Awakening, released in 2012. The player can marry every named playable character, on top of the usual FE shipping mechanics . Donnel, Nowi and Ricken, all children, are part of your party. Nowi is a thousand year old dragon that looks like a child of 11-15. She loves playing, and throws tantrums, and overall acts very childishly, but the narrative insists that she’s really an adult feigning childishness.

In Fire Emblem lore, dragons are veeeery slow ageing people with the power to transform into dragons, which means they can be biologically still children even when they’re hundreds or thousands of years old. Tiki, another similar character, is considered a child in Shadow Dragon by her adult dragon family while explicitly being around Nowi’s age. Despite evidence to the contrary, Awakening treats Nowi like an adult who can marry. Fire Emblem had previously included many dragon child characters in the past, but none were romantic options for anyone, and they were considered a younger sibling of sorts. Nowi was a first in the series, and after her inclusion these romances became common with characters like Nyx in Fates and Flayn and Sothis in Three Houses. Worth noting is her design, which is incredibly sexualised. A (not so) fun fact is that the outfit designer of Awakening and Fates was none other than Three Houses’ future director, Toshiyuki Kusakihara:

Ricken and Donnel are just regular 13-15 year old boys. No magic. Other adult characters and your avatar just marry them, and it’s stated they will have children in the future. The next game, Fates, actually managed to outdo this somehow: Your pedophilic romance options are now five, and unlike Awakening’s avatar Robin, whose age was unknown and could potentially be portrayed in their mid-teens, Corrin canonically is in the 18-21 age range, making this unambiguous pedophilia. Fates is a very standout game when it comes to Fire Emblem’s worst parts: There’s no “children from the future” excuse for the avatar having children like in Awakening. The avatar impregnates all spouses (or gets pregnant) and has the child after an in-game time skip, which means you can canonically impregnate your approximately 15 year old sister in a Fire Emblem game. You really do not want to stan these devs.

pictured: definitely not 18, even if the english localization really tried to pull that.

Which is yet another thing in this game: Incest with adopted siblings is possible and even encouraged. Incest is constantly fetishized through the character of Camilla, who is an attractive and sexualized older sister obsessed with the main character. Another (not so) fun fact is that most characters will continue to call you ‘brother’ or ‘sister’ in the story even if you’re married because Fire Emblem rarely changes the story to fit with your marriage options. The most insidious thing about the incest and pedophilic couples in Fates is that they’re completely normalized. It’s not shown as abusive, and they look like normal couples that could even look cute out of context. They confess their love, tease each other, blush and have cutesy epilogues.

pictured: marrying your sibling and a literal child

All of this is to end with the conclusion that this is a constant pattern with Fire Emblem, especially the ones with marriage. Any potentially awful relationships portrayed are not outwardly abusive. You won’t catch Xander gaslighting Corrin, or anything. They’re a “cute” relationship that just happens to be incest. Their interactions are not outwardly unhealthy, and it’s tailor made for ‘’’harmless’’’ shipping, but in the end, it’s incest and pedophilia portrayed as a valid pairing that’s “healthy” by all means. It’s normalization of something that’s objectively horrifying to live through. As a CSA victim, Fates literally made me quit the franchise for all the years it was popular.

When Three Houses announced that it would take place in a school while you play a teacher, after seeing all of this play out all FE fans could feel was dread. When 3H announced even later that all romance would take place post-time skip everyone forgot about their reservations instantly— ignoring the fact that everyone being over 18 when marriage happens doesn’t absolve all potential problems with predatory writing. How you write a couple with an age gap is critical. Moving on with Actual Three Houses:

Byleth has a canon age unlike Corrin and Robin, but the game tries to hide it

Corrin and Robin were both avatars meant to be somewhat customized. Byleth cannot be customized. They have a set appearance and age. You can choose Byleth’s name, gender and birthday when you start up the game, but Byleth canonically cannot be born anywhere after September 20th 1159, their “canon” birthday, since their father states in his diary that they’re already alive. 3H starts in the year 1180, which makes Byleth 20 or already 21 depending on their chosen birthday.

All other Three Houses characters have their ages shown clearly in their unit menu, and all bios update accordingly when you learn new information, including yours. Byleth’s age is revealed in a cutscene, but despite this, the game tries to “hide” their age. This is all Byleth has in their bio even well into the endgame:

It’s presumably so the player can “headcanon” their age, as the player avatar, but they still have a canon age, because they’re not a customizable one. It’s a very odd design choice that makes no sense until you consider that the game is romantically pushing teenagers at you. Romanceable students range from 14 to 22 years old before the time skip, but the great majority are in the 15-18 range. Early on, when you introduce yourself to your students, they seem taken aback by how young you are and comment how you seem like you’re “their age.” This is your only dialogue option in response:

No sixteen year old has ever told a twenty/-one year old that they’re the same age, but this is anime high school dating sim logic. An addendum is that this game has incredibly shallow dialogue options to hide how linear it really is, and this is the first glaring instance. This comes up later on with the romance options—you have little to no options to reject a student’s advances. Boundaries as both a player and RPG protagonist are non-existent in this game.

pictured: “yes” and “sure why not” dialogue options to agreeing to meet with a student alone. linhardt just turned 17 last month

Byleth can flirt pre-time skip

Most of your units are students, thus all romance should in theory, stay in the war phase…. Which doesn’t happen at all. All the narrative framing of characters’ “closeness” and foreshadowing of romance are definitely a part of the school phase. The worst offender by far is an in-game event called the Goddess Tower, the school’s local romantic spot. It’s said in universe that a man and a woman who make a vow there on a specific night will stay together forever, and this is a prelude to the marriage scenes five years later, which will take place in that Tower. You can even pick who to bring with you to the Tower, and this is what Byleth says to themselves before the drop down menu shows up:

this is one of those lines that’s like semi-innocuous, since byleth is addressing the player here, but what the fuck is a teacher doing thinking about a student “that way”???? my girl doesn’t know there will be a 5 year time skip where they’re going to be legal she’s just saying this about a bunch of sixteen year olds.

The Goddess Tower itself is a mess of bungled flirting and unnatural romantic scenes, made all the worse by the fact that you can only trigger this scene with a student. Older characters like Seteth, Catherine and Shamir are locked out of the Goddess Tower. They can’t be picked from the menu, and if they’re your highest support, the game will default to the next highest supported student. Here’s some lines from Ingrid’s scene:

ingrid is 17 when this takes place. the youngest byleth possible is well over 21 and the oldest is turning 22 next month

Check out this post for more examples of the Goddess Tower. Byleth’s dialogue options here are right out of a god damn PSA about child safety. They genuinely come off as a huge creep here, especially “Just the two of us….” My dude.

Thankfully one of the few instances where you can turn the student down, but notable anyway. Dorothea’s C support, where you have the option of following her flirty lead, and her response will be the same regardless of your choice:

Another infamous bit of inappropriate flirting is Edelgard’s Japanese C1 support, which you’re likely to unlock before her 18th birthday in June because it’s her very first support:

This was thankfully removed in the English version (Though she still has the same flustered reaction), but the intentions are there. Curiously, I’ve seen many supporters of the Byleth/Edelgard ship say they were upset this was removed, while simultaneously denying the ship has any grooming connotations whatsoever— when an authority figure making ha ha, unless? 😳 sexual jokes in front of underage/barely legal kids to see their reaction is textbook grooming:

Once a trusting or special relationship is created, the offender may carefully test the victim’s reaction to sex. (x)

Not helping is the fact that Edelgard falling in love with Byleth during the school phase is practically canon judging by dialogue in CF of her missing you “more” than the others. Which leads to:

Some interactions pre-time skip resemble grooming tactics

In fans’ minds the lack of boundaries are somewhat mitigated by Byleth’s supposed good intentions, and it’s common to hear fans say Byleth obviously didn’t go to Garreg Mach intending to marry one of the kids they’re teaching because grooming must be malicious from the start. However, it’s well known that unlike premeditated abuse of younger kids, sexual abuse of older teens often happens by “accident”

In contrast, educators who teach at the late middle and high school level target victims in this age range. They might be outstanding teachers, although they may also be mediocre (Shakeshaft, 2003). Sexual abuse at this level may be less premeditated and planned and more often a result of bad judgment (Shakeshaft, 2004). (x)

In other words, by putting zero boundaries between teacher and students and enabling weird situations, which is 3H to a T. Many students flirt, but Byleth doesn’t say anything, or even flirts back.

Secondly, Byleth is like… barely a character, so this isn’t meant to be a callout post accusing them of being a manipulative abuser or whatever, because this is about the dev team putting teenagers in these flirty positions to satisfy the player that Byleth is meant to represent. Byleth is just the plot device they use to do so. People often say this flirting isn’t grooming because Byleth has “good intentions,” but they’re a self-insert, and a self-insert doesn’t have to have any in-universe intentions because the outside writing drives their actions— the thing is we KNOW these writers are not above writing pedophilia as harmless romance. People project good intentions on Byleth, because that’s the avatar. You’re supposed to project on them. This of course includes their “good intentions,” and when I play 3H I headcanon that too, but canonically speaking, these intentions are 100% ambiguous. They never voice attraction to another student, or disgust at the thought of dating them because they speak in small, limited dialogue options and thought bubbles. We don’t have a real, canon indication that they would oppose dating a student before the time skip nor that they would actually do it.

What we do have are the canonical interactions that make people uncomfortable, however. Byleth can think of students in “that way” when the Gatekeeper describes a romantic getaway on the Goddess Tower. If we take them at face value, then their dialogue options clearly establish that they’re okay with flirting with students as young as fifteen, at the very least. They “die” before potentially starting to date any of them for real, but the beginnings of an uncomfortable romance are there and the game fully embraces this as okay .

This is all a result of the writing. Fates never condemned you for picking your sister over any of the other thirty (?) romanceable characters, just like Three Houses doesn’t condemn you for picking Lysithea over any older women in the teaching staff. It’s just another S support option, and it even gets some sweet extra content. She’s touched that you care for her, and you do everything in your power to take care of her frail health, and you guys get happily married. No one ever mentions that you were her high school teacher when she was fifteen and you met at said high school, and she was your favourite student— and this is, you know, something of an important detail in any relationship. Just like Fates, it’s sweet and shippable out of context, which just encourages normalization. How dare you say this is unhealthy? It’s tender! Look how much he loves her!

The thing is that 3H initially presents your students as your charges in school. You’re unambiguously in charge of them as both tactician and instructor, even if you treat each other in a familiar way. Even if most students technically outrank you as nobles, Garreg Mach as politically neutral ground implicitly puts you above them as their teacher. The younger ones are vulnerable teenagers, away from home in a boarding school. Most have some sort of underlying emotional problem that they come to you for. They come to you for advice, and sometimes just venting. You can give them gifts, and have tea every week with them if you so wish in an off-screen conversation. Tea also serves as the “skinship” of this game where you get to see the anime boy/girl of your dreams from up-close, which is a pretty creepy thing to do with a fifteen year old anime girl even out of universe, but I digress.

Looking at this chart in the essay I linked earlier gave me a little bit of a stroke, because the “Strategies” aspects are all things you do in 3H prior to the time-skip:

This is obviously accidental, but still concerning because we know these devs have a twisted idea of what romance is, and that culminated in what I sincerely hope is an unintended but still eerily accurate portrayal of grooming.

Emotional confidence, teatime and gifts, flirting, making a vow together at the Goddess Tower, sex jokes, are all things you do pre-timeskip, and some student’s personal arcs make this even worse. Marianne, Dimitri and Bernadetta have mental illnesses, and they heavily rely on you for support. Edelgard and Sylvain express attraction towards you. You meet Felix’s father and he puts his full trust in you. Ignatz, Bernadetta and Marianne have very low self-esteem. Characters like Ashe and Annette have major parental issues that they discuss with you. In short, you see them at their most vulnerable as kids, and then get together as adults.

About the only thing you don’t do pre-time skip in that list is “Isolate,” but some character arcs post time skip have this distinct vibe nonetheless. Many students leave their homes in the war phase explicitly because of you and no other reason. CF Ingrid in particular outright betrays Faerghus and everything she knew for you, as she says she doesn’t really believe in Edelgard’s war. Knowing you as a teacher can string her along in her Goddess Tower scene while she’s underage puts this in an awkward perspective.

This is what makes the five year time skip hold little weight. Everyone is an adult when the relationship is consummated, yes, but it starts pre-time skip.

Emotionally vulnerable teenagers having a strong relationship and frequent alone time with their older teacher, who is a confidant and someone that makes them feel special is already looking bad, but the absolute loyalty, idolisation and close relationship when they’re adults only makes it worse, even if it’s probably just a result of poorly thought out game design and player pandering gone wrong.

It’s not just player pandering, however. The devs just clearly think these relationships are okay. Other non-Byleth student/teacher romances deserve a mention, too—Manuela is forty something and thinks of her romantic potential with some 19 year-old:

Thankfully, this support ends at B, but others don’t. She has romantic endings with Lorenz, Ferdinand and Dorothea, who she even canonically met before Garreg Mach as a child and who idolises her as an opera star. The game doesn’t stop at the normalisation of grooming with Byleth, they’re just the most noticeable example, especially since it’s a power fantasy for the player who can romance all of them, not just a few.

The time skip had the opportunity to fix some of the creepy implications, but it didn’t

People like to look at the time-skip as a justification of romance. That 15 year old kid is 20 now, after all, and your students are adults, who have matured and grown outside of your influence.... Except your interactions with them remain virtually the same. They still call you Professor and hold you in some extremely high esteem as an authority figure.

Three Houses has an avatar worship problem like all newer Fire Emblem games and this definitely contributes to the uncomfortable implications in the narrative, because literally everyone respects you and adores you to an uncomfortable degree. Even as grown ass adults, the avatar worship just makes it seem like your students still idolize you like when they were kids awe struck by how cool you are.

They don’t show the change from “mentor” to “peer” satisfactorily, like they intended for the romance elements to work. Byleth’s name is customizable, making a first name basis difficult, but they easily could have changed your war phase title to something that would make it seem like your students’ view of you changed, like a military title such as Commander, or even just Eisner, your canonical last name. All students still call you “Professor,” in the war phase, though. Some students even call you Professor when you’re about to propose to them in the S support, like Lysithea. Leonie, one of the oldest students who is actually your age, has this to say about calling you by your name… you know, like a normal peer and friend would:

White Clouds is also a whole year while VW, AM, and SS take place during six to seven months, CF during five. You spend more time as their teacher and mentor than as “peers,” so Leonie’s position is pretty understandable despite being like, barely a year younger than you.

To rewind, this game lets you pick a “special” student pre-time skip, who you’re encouraged to build bonds with through tea, gifts and the Goddess Tower. You’re their favourite teacher, as said by many other characters. They grow up and join you in your war regardless of who they have to fight, some even just to be with you. They still affectionately call you Professor, and look up to you. You can then marry them. This is unironically seen as both acceptable and even romantic.

Many of these interactions like tea are gameplay elements and thus come off as the devs not thinking too hard about it. Except, again, we know they have no problem in writing outright pedophilia, but Fates in particular had heavy backlash over this, which explains the need to tone it down a little. Grooming was their “compromise” between not turning off the casual audience while still cheekily pandering to that crowd. Everyone is technically over eighteen in Three Houses, even if they act extremely similar to their teenage selves. The “technically 1000 year old” romances like Flayn and Sothis were also left intact.

This is an important distinction, because a bit of a popular “it’s not grooming” argument when dealing with the war phase is Byleth’s weird dragon powers slowing their aging. Unlike the kids, all adult non-students in Three Houses undergo no portrait changes during the time skip, including Byleth. The thing is that in Chapter 10, they receive dragon powers as part of some plot nonsense, so it has different implications than just anime hating everyone over 25. There’s implications in the game that this definitely affected their ability to age normally, such as the Flayn ending:

However, we don’t know how their aging was affected and to what extent. Three Houses’ lore didn’t specify much about the way dragons age. Rhea undergoes dragon madness, so we can thus tentatively assume Fódlan’s dragons are similar to Archanea and Valentia’s dragons, which would mean there’s a chance Byleth even aged normally for a few years before slowing down significantly like Nah from Awakening did. It’s entirely possible they’re biologically 25-26 like they’re meant to be, because they didn’t physically die. They were just asleep.

Even if they really did not age a day over 21/22, it still makes the pre-time skip hold weight, however. Byleth can flirt with them as teens prior to any fantastical excuse, and they’re still a mentor figure in the students’ eyes, which goes on to colour every interaction with you in the war phase. Post-time skip everyone is legal, but they still have that history with you, and the game makes no real effort to change that whatsoever. It still fulfills the student/teacher fantasy despite the many, many technicalities it tries to pull out of its ass.

Intsys is self aware and knows that this upsets people

To say these devs probably didn’t mean it that way is not entirely impossible, but they don’t exactly inspire confidence. They even “acknowledge” their flippant way of treating teacher/student relationships in a DLC quest during school phase:

Of course, this is a silly complaint because a teacher being friendly with students is a good thing! Students learn better in a positive environment! The problem here is that it’s obviously referencing and mocking the people upset that this becomes romantic later on. I think anyone would have been able to forgive the overly friendly nature of Byleth and the students’ relationships if no line had been crossed regarding romance. This is Fire Emblem after all, and it wouldn’t be Fire Emblem without supports and relationships values.

But also, Intsys is very good at jokingly acknowledging when they’re being creepy rather than striving to do better. It’s not the first time they’ve done this. A really bold faced example is when the Fire Emblem mobile game widely known for fanservice released a ten year old child (no magic or dragons, either, just a child) dressed as a bride and had her say: “This outfit is just for the [bride] festival, don’t get any weird ideas!” when they were the ones who made a child bride for fanservice purposes.

this one was pretty fucked up even by their standards. comment sums it up

The devs also once called Camilla from Fates a “cow” in an interview for having huge breasts and a little tiara that looks like horns. They designed her that way, but then mocked her for looking like an oversexualized caricature. Any way you look at it, they’re well aware they’re being off-putting and cheekily being like, tee hee, I sure made a dating sim set in a high school! Which ultimately leads to the final point:

Though canon definitely has its problems, it’s less about canon and more about the devs’ bad intentions and the fans’ general lack of empathy for CSA victims:

This is not to diminish canon’s impact at all, because it’s outright malicious to portray an unhealthy relationship as cute and harmless. In short, they just pull technicality after technicality out of their ass to make student/teacher okay somehow instead of just..... not having student/teacher at all. After Fates having fucking incest, 3H and teacher grooming seems outright tame and that definitely contributed to the wide acceptance in the fanbase, because it’s less outrageously pandery. I can’t believe I have to say this in 2020, but…... that’s still not good, lads.

I will also admit there’s some nuance here regarding some of the students, especially those 20+ year olds who aren’t easy to manipulate teenagers like Mercedes. We can sit here and argue all day about whether or not this game legitimately 100% can be considered grooming because of those 20+ students, and all of those in-universe technicalities since there’s no real life academic journal on grooming who will talk about the offender being a dragon, but the end of the matter is that the devs chose to portray their pseudo-dating sim franchise in a school, while your MC is a teacher and most of the students are teens. These relationships are also 100% normalised and okay in-game. They did it with incest and with teacher/student, both topics that are majorly upsetting to CSA victims, and that alone is worth calling out. They even mocked people who were upset about it with a little DLC quest, just to rub it in.

This whole post was a critique of 3H and Intsys, but it’s impossible to critique the game without critiquing the fan culture around it, because the devs definitely had a fanbase in mind. We know they take feedback, since they toned it down after complaints about Fates, but the reason why they didn’t just get rid of pandering aspects, is because they’re popular. There’s a huge demand for this, and that’s exactly why they keep doing it, and it’s the simple reason that online anime spaces full of adults have always placed a particular interest in teens and sexualising and shipping them. A Fire Emblem game set in a school with a calendar and a lot of romantic and social elements that started development in 2017 just screams Persona 5 inspired. Fans obviously noticed.

”edelgard is soooo thirsty” jokes are a lot less funny if you know going for the thirsty kid is a legit strategy

Now, I don’t know shit about Atlus, and after seeing all these memes regarding Persona 5 and the fans’ positive reaction to them, I have zero intentions to play it, but I’ve unfortunately played every single FE game and watched the transition to classic FE to 3DS FE to 3H. I have my criticisms about modern FE’s writing quality for sure, and while I obviously can’t say it used to be perfect because it was still a fairly mediocre (but fun) game about teenagers beating up dragons, it’s now become one of the single most unfriendly fanbases if you’ve gone through any kind of sexual trauma. Incest shipping, pedophilic shipping, and sexualizing teenagers was always there to some extent, but it’s blown up now that the devs have emboldened those fans by doing it in canon itself. It’s rampant, especially on “waifu” circles, and now grooming ships are mainstream and everywhere. Even LGBT friendly “safe spaces” are unbrowsable. F!Edeleth in particular is commonly seen as the holy grail of wlw representation. Linhardt is the most popular M/M option despite the other two being adults. Doromanuela was given a shout-out by Dorothea’s English voice actress.

Old FE games had background things like that all the time, (Roy/Cecilia is Literally gender swapped Petra/Byleth) but the keyword here is background. Not like... 80% of the ships involving the MC in game, which means you weren’t bombarded with this every day. Worse, the discussion about this topic has been non-existent. Reddit has not touched this at all despite the community there being well known for meticulous criticism, Twitter and Tumblr have seen its fair share of discourse, but it’s quickly dismissed. Just click here to watch people dismiss the concerns of every single grooming and CSA victim, or even call them stupid like we can’t recognize this shit in every single fandom. Of note are the fans who dismiss grooming concerns by saying all flirting occurs post time skip (which is false, as we just said) and the characters are only 3-6 years apart anyway……………….. and then gleefully consume/produce pre-time skip content:

miscellaneous tags on a pre-time skip linleth comic (20/21/22 and 16/17 if you’re not keeping count) not posting the comic itself cause i don’t want anon hate lol

While there’s an argument to be made for romance with anyone who was 20+ pre-time skip, there is NONE for the underage kids. None. And like, even if you somehow still want to argue that 3H itself isn’t grooming because of the time skip, a huge chunk of the fanworks objectively are, and this is a huge problem that needs to be called out and nobody does so whatsoever. That comic has 2500+ notes.

This isn’t even a call to tell people to throw out their copies and riot, just to be aware of this and try to make fan spaces a little more bearable for CSA victims. A lot of people call this ‘toxic cancel culture’ and whatnot, but I personally can’t defend a dev team who I KNOW has done heinous things in the past, and continue to support the pedophilic mentality in online anime fan spaces but like, in a cheeky subtle way. They easily could have made Byleth a student who tutors the others because of their experienced mercenary background with Jeralt, or just not let them romance the kids at all. They could have pleased both the dating sim and high school camps by letting you choose to be either a 21+ teacher or a 17 year old student with the appropriate romance options, too. They didn’t do any of this, and their questionable past begs me to ask why, and none of the answers I can come up with are very encouraging. They also even blatantly gave you extra content when romancing students.

I hope contextualizing the 3H grooming at least makes some people understand why it’s so upsetting to see it everywhere. It’s just the decent thing to do to tag your posts, and to not dismiss any of these things. It’s just the decent thing to do to listen to people who are sharing their experiences and respecting their boundaries if they simply do not want to interact with you if you decide to continue supporting Intsys.

Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this. Stan Claude von Riegan.

#t #fire emblem #fire emblem three houses #fe3h #grooming mention #csa ment

967 notes · View notes

thechangeling · 3 years

Text

Shame

Kit reflects on his life and his sexual orientation. I guess this is kind of a character study peice but also partly headcanon.

Ok so massive trigger warnings for internalized homophobia and biphobia. Also a 2012 definition and understanding of bisexuality and gender sk sorry about that but I wanted to be accurate to the time period.

I still have a lot of internalized homophobia even in the year of our lord 2021 so I wanted to work through it in my writing I guess.

"I think you're only fighting for the sake of fighting. Because it's the only state in which you can function. The only way to stop that voice in your head from driving you insane. The one telling you that you should be ashamed of yourself for having loved him."

- Black Sails: Season 2 Episide 5

Kit could remember the first time he felt it as clear as day. The first time he felt that twinge at the pit of his stomach after being reprimanded for talking about his crush on a boy. The inward cringe that followed. That disgust others showed him, reflected back onto himself.

Self loathing became as easy as breathing at such a young age.

He could distinctly remember being in mundane first grade and being asked by a loud girl with light blond hair and crystal blue eyes who he had a crush on. Kit had seen no reason to lie at the time. He had told the girl that he had two crushes. One on a girl in their class who was shy and asocial (he had always had a thing for nerds apparently) with her jet black hair that was always full of hello kitty clips, and another on a boy in a different class who was blond like him with a round face and a giant friendly smile that Kit loved to stare at.

At the time he had no real sense of the seriousness of what he was saying. No sense that he was breaking an unspoken rule in the eyes of his classmates. But Kit would never forget the look on the girls face. The eyes that narrowed in distain, the curled lip and the way her nose crinkled in disgust as she she said, "boys arent supposed to have crushes on boys. That's gross." And the cackling laughter of his classmates surrounding him.

And the feeling that followed, the one that would become as familiar and easy as breathing.

Shame.

That pinch in his gut and the way his blood went cold like someone had just injected him with antifreeze. And then the sinking in his chest accompanied by the realization that he had done something terrible. Kit realized that day that he could never make that same mistake again. So after that day he vowed never to talk about his interest in boys ever again.

The first time he heard the word gay he was eight and it was as an insult. It wasn't directed at him but it still felt like it was. He learned to make the connection between the word and disgust and contempt. But as he grew older he became relieved, because he knew he liked girls. He had always thought they were pretty with their soft skin and nice smelling hair. This meant he wasn't gay so he was safe. He convinced himself that he had just been confused before when he was younger.

So he grew up pushing those feelings to the side and telling himself convincing lies over and over until he finally believed it, and Johnny Rook made it easy. Kit was often so preoccupied with running cons and keeping a low profile that he didn't have much time for self reflection. When he found his gaze wandering, he told himself he was just being curious or suspicious or just appreciating an attractive guy from a purely aesthetic point of view and there was absolutely nothing else to it. He kissed pretty girls whenever he had the chance and enjoyed it and relished in the fact that this meant he was safe.

From an outside perspective it may have looked like Kit Herondale was losing control of the situation.

Maybe they were right.

Tiberius Nero Blackthorn felt like a giant fuck you from the universe for believing that he could ever escape this. Or maybe he was a test. But whatever Ty was, it was a little hard to care when he was animatedly explaining the reproductive cycle of a starfish and beaming at Kit with his rare carefree smile that made Kit feel like he was drowning in bliss.

And despite everything. Despite Kit's fear, it made him want to smile too. The urge to reach out and touch Ty was like a burning in his veins, accompanied by the foolish belief that if Kit could just run his fingers through Ty's matted black hair or press his forehead against his, then everything would be alright.

Kit wasn't sure if he should be grateful or furious.

"How beautiful" had been his first thought upon seeing him. Slipping out of some deep treacherous part of him before he could stop it. Followed of course by the shame.

But he wasn't gay. It didn't matter that Ty was beautiful and captivating and made him feel like he was strong enough to fight the gods themselves given the challenge. It didn't mean anything. He was just confused.

And when Julian made a comment about Herondales having a certain type when he called Clary hot, he ignored the twisting of his insides and the painful fact that his thoughts were drifting off into forbidden territory. He pretended that he was what Julian said he was. What he was supposed to be.

When Livvy had asked him to kiss her it felt like a lifeline. A way to distract himself from all the chaos in his life as well as a way to take his mind off of Ty. A pretty girl was giving him something to cling onto, if only for a moment. He still paused to look upwards. An automatic reflex. Almost as if he was a magnet trying to snap back into it's original place.

Livvy kissed him and although it was nice and sweet, he still felt nothing. Only longing for something else.

Then he learned about Kieran and how he was basically Mark's ex boyfriend. He had been sure that Mark was dating Emma so he asked Livvy about it. She had given him a confused look and just said that Mark was bisexual.

Bisexual.

He had heard the word before, mostly to describe celebrities who wanted to make a name for themselves in the tabloids. Kit had always quickly dismissed it before he could allow himself to actually ponder the idea. It was safer to assume it wasn't actually real, because if it wasn't real then it couldn't be him. He wouldn't have to face up to the fact that an attraction to men and women sounded uncomfortably accurate and familiar.

Bisexual. It gnawed at him in his sleep. Poking at his insides and refusing to let him forget it. And so Kit clued his eyes shut and squirmed his way out if it. He thought of the way Ty's smoke coloured eyes seemed to bore into Kit's soul. The sharp angles of his cheekbones and curve of his cupid's bow. Kit thought of the way Ty had asked if he could give Kit a permanent rune and when Kit had answered sarcasticly, Ty's crestfallen expression had horrified him to the point where Kit had practically begged Ty to do it.

Anything to get that look off Ty's face. But it wasn't like that he reminded himself. It wasn't love. It wasn't love.

Jesus. Love. Just the idea of the word sent Kit into a blind panic. And there was that old familiar feeling curling around his gut. That same disgust. That shame.

Not towards Ty. No of course not. He could never feel that way about Ty, or Mark or Kieran or Helen or Aline or anyone else because they didn't deserve it.

But he did. He always did.

When Livvy was killed, Kit almost felt a sense of relief because at least now he had something else to focus on, something g else to worry about. If he was focused on protecting Ty from his own worst instincts then he wouldn't have time to get list I'm thoughts he shouldn't be having.

He knew this made him a selfish horrible person. Kit accepted it.

Kit knew this plan of Ty's was a reckless and horrible idea but he just couldn't stand to see him in pain. He also couldn't bare the thought if what might happen if he refused to help Ty. Also he was helpless in the face of Ty's pleading gaze. Deep down Kit knew that he would probably do anything for him.

He would break himself trying to put Ty back together.

It wasn't until Ty actually attempted the spell that Kit finally cracked. He couldn't let Ty go through with this. He couldn't risk it.

Why? Something inside of him pondered.

Why?

Because Kit was going to die if something happened to Ty. The spell was going to go bad and Ty was going to get hurt or killed and Kit's heart was going to be brutally ripped from his chest and it was going to be unbearable.

Because-

"I love you Ty," he breathed, hating himself instantly. "I love you."

Ty didn't respond. He didn't react, didnt even flinch. Just stared blankly at Kit.

Shame.

It was going to ruin him. It was going to swallow him whole.

Yikes that was kinda all over the place sorry.

I'm basically tagging all if my mutuals at this point. Let me know if you want me to stop tagging you. @scrat-is-god @playwithravenclaw @lavender-scented-rat @knifescythe @ti-bae-rius @irene-blacxthorn @dianasarrow @doitforthecarstairs @jazzkaurtheglorious @waterlillies @zfoxdraws @julieandthefandoms @older-brother-kit @anxiousbookenthusiast @ilikebooks8 @nott-the-best @stxr-thxif @magnus-the-fabulous-entp-bane @autumnangel20 @hufflepuffyskam

Also let me know if you want to be added!

#tsc #tda #the dark artifices #kit x ty #kit herondale #twp #ty blackthorn #tw internalized homophobia #tw internalized biphobia

103 notes · View notes

dean-you-assbutt-cas-loves-you · 3 years

Note

I saw in your tags that there’s some old destiel fic you like on ffn. Do you have any recs ? :)

omg I haven’t been on there in years! like last time I read anything on there was like in 2014 lmao xD

32 fics total - I just checked and all of them are still up...there’s like 30+ more that I bookmarked that isn’t on the list cuz I’m not sure if they’re destiel fics or not so I gotta re-read them

all the ones below are fics that I’ve recced before in the past

1. All Angels Need Their Wings - RATING: NC-17 | LENGTH: 29,784 (2012)

Dean never thought that Castiel would ever return. And when he did, he came in a very unexpected way, a very horrifying way. SLASH Castiel/Dean. Wing-Kink. Takes place in season 7. AU.

2. Heart Trouble - RATING: NC-17 | LENGTH: 74,320 (2011)

Dean's having a harder and harder time of denying what he feels for a certain blue-eyed friend of his. And it's making him a little ornery, and a lot confused.

3. It Hurts - RATING: NC-17 | LENGTH: 29,963 (2013)

Inspired by the S9 Trailer Cas had watched the angels fall and with them, his self worth. Now human facing the challenges of navigating mortality he also tries to find a place for himself in this new world. It is a hope he has to find without the Winchesters, without Dean. So now he runs, from both Heaven, Hell and from Dean.

4. Small Problem - RATING: NC-17 | LENGTH: 13,310 (2011)

A cursed artifact has made Castiel miniature, it's amusing for the Winchesters at first until they realize he might stay that way forever. Slash Dean/Castiel Please R&R

5 My Broken Angel - RATING: M | LENGTH: 24,999 (2010)

When Castiel disappears from his vessel, Dean is concerned. But when Castiel reappears and seems to avoid him, Dean is heartbroken. Set mid-season 5.

6. A Hand - RATING: M | LENGTH: 23,474 (2010)

Dean/Cas, multichapter, slight AU. Dean's busy trying to re-soulify his brother, but Cas needs help. Maybe it's time Dean gave it to him. Ch. 15: Dean glared indignantly. "I find the term 'lovebirds' to be offensive. We prefer to be called 'sex-falcons.'"

7. Saving Grace - RATING: PG-13 | LENGTH: 38,602 (2010)

With everything that was going wrong in Dean's life, it took him a while to realize that the person close to him that really needed the most help was Castiel.

8. Candy - RATING: PG-13 | LENGTH: 98,068 (2013)

The Fall from Heaven changed everything. The supernatural no longer hidden. Angels roaming the planet. Sam and Dean's immediate concerns were on a smaller scale. What do you do with the former King of Hell? Where is Castiel?... Destiel/Mute!Human!Cas/Angst!Dean

9. Dude, Dean Looks Like a Lady - RATING: M | LENGTH: 20,774 *gen/pre-slash* (2013)

Sam's good, Cas has been found, and demons everywhere seem to be on hiatus. Seems like things are looking up for Team Free Will that is until Dean wakes up with his very own vagina anyway. Warnings: Fem!Dean, Destiel, female masturbation and S8 spoilers.

10. Evil Intent, Trials of Love, & Finding My Angel - RATING: NC-17 | LENGTH: 36,729, 70,453, & 59,941 *rape, graphic torture, violence* (2009)

Anna rapes Castiel and uses a method that torments him more than anything imaginable. WARNING: Rape and Castiel/Dean makes sense when you read it . If you don't like then don't read!

11. Cascade - RATING: PG-13 | LENGTH: 44,626 (2013)

"And if you fall as Lucifer fell, you fall in flames!" An 8x23 coda.

12. Count The Cracks, Hear The Shatters, Feel The Insanities - RATING: PG-13 | LENGTH: 44,626 *gen/pre-slash* (2013)

They've walked miles on gravel roads that led to hell and back but the journey never quite ends. This is the story of Castiel and the Winchesters after the angels fell from heaven. Post Season 8.

13. Damn Straight & Wait Wait Wait - RATING: PG-13 | LENGTH: about 21,000 (2010)

Humorous Cas/Dean, with multiple POVs. Slight AU. Fluffy. Ch. 5: Sam sat in the Impala in the motel parking lot, praying that three and a half hours at the library had been long enough.

14. Entertaining Angels - RATING: PG-13 | LENGTH: 43,659 *gen/pre-slash* (2008)

A strange boy shows up at Dean and Sam’s motel room. Maybe he needs help, or maybe he’s there to help them—they can’t quite tell. Spoilers through 4.10. Not an OC.

15. Happy Friggin’ Valentine’s Day - RATING: PG-13 | LENGTH: 22,771 (2010)

SLASH. It all started with Dean's perfectly healthy hatred of frivilous holidays and a much-coveted sack of dust. Poor Castiel doesn't fully understand 'romance' to begin with, and this crash course is most unwelcome.

16. I’m Just a Love Machine - RATING: PG-13 | LENGTH: 29,200 (2011)

The Impala finally gets the chance to love Dean back. The problem is, Castiel seems to be in its way.

17. It’s The Great Destiel Shipper, Sam Winchester - RATING: PG-13 | LENGTH: 49,641 (2012)

What's Sam really doing all that time on the computer? Fangirling. Over Chuck's Supernatural books. Now Wincest might be a bit too much to deal with, but Destiel he might be able to get on board with... Especially after being around the two people involved for three days straight.

18. Pain in the Head - RATING: PG-13 | LENGTH: 78,771 *character death* (2011)

It started out slow. "Since when do angels have headaches?" "Since they become human." Established Dean/Cas. Sort of AU. PG-13. Complete.

19. Sleep in Heavenly Peace - RATING: PG-13 | LENGTH: 45,517 *christmas fic* (2013)

Dean wants to have a nice, peaceful Christmas for once, but it seems like the universe won't let him. Dean/Castiel. Post-8.08 (Hunteri Heroici) AU. First in "Holidays With the Winchesters are Always Fun."

20. The Shattered One - RATING: PG-13 | LENGTH: 94,021 *grace mpreg* (2012)

When it struck Castiel, it dropped him out of the sky. He set down the first place he could find. He stood in a field in Switzerland, swaying on his feet and staring down at his body, dazed by what it had just done.

21. This Cupid Isn’t Stupid - RATING: PG-13 | LENGTH: 41,572 (2012)

Dean receives a shock when he wakes up to discover Castiel has returned. Why is the angel suddenly back? Why have his powers dimmed? And.. Why are he and Dean joined together by an invisible rope!

22. Wild Horses, Cas - RATING: PG-13 | LENGTH: 23,505 (2013)

(S8 Spoilers (story is set in S9), Sickfic! Destiel, Minor Sabriel). When Cas comes down with a bad case of Pneumonia it leaves Dean feeling more protective over his friend than ever, but will it also lead to Dean's admittance of his feelings towards his friend?

23. Wrong - RATING: PG-13 | LENGTH: 51,384 (2010)

Angels are not supposed to drop out of the sky into motel rooms, broken and beaten. They're not supposed to bleed like that. It was all wrong.

24. The Reluctant Contestant - RATING: PG-13 | LENGTH: 50,502 (2012)

AU When Gabriel is hired as a new host for a dating show, Cas has no choice but to follow his brother along as part of the camera crew. Forced at the last minute to be a contestant, he is shocked when Dean Winchester continually refuses to eliminate him.

25. The Ugly Duckling - RATING: PG-13 | LENGTH: 81,676 (2012)

Castiel: a nerdy, skinny thing with a crush on the the most popular guy in class. Being unpopular isn't easy and it's worse when the homophobic school figures him out. A small struggle to be noticed by his crush is turned into a huge struggle for himself and his dignity. But bullying can get the better of anyone. Slash. Destiel rated M for later chapters.

26. Nameless - RATING: PG-13 | LENGTH: 77,882 (2013)

AU. Everyone has the name of their soulmate written on their wrist at birth. Well, everyone except Dean Winchester. Complete.

27. Cufflinks - RATING: M | LENGTH: 61,845 (2012)

The world is full of creatures that prey on humans. It is up to 'Hunters' to fight against the dark. Lucky Hunters rely on the help of angels they have bound to their service. Sam and Dean may be good Hunters, but they have yet to capture an angel. One day, Sam finds an angel and seizes the opportunity to bind the angel to himself. Little did they know what they were getting into.

28. Angel Training - RATING: M | LENGTH: 95,700, Angel Training 2: Save Us - RATING: M | LENGTH: 76,888, & Angel Training 3: Uprising - RATING: M | LENGTH: 89,512 (2011)

In a world where angels are common and the most privileged or skilled people are able to own one; the world's angelic hierarchy is about to change when Dean Winchester receives a wild and recently caught angel.

29. Chasing Your Shadow - RATING: M | LENGTH: 92,077 (2012)

The prophecy says that when Castiel turns twenty-three winters old, a stranger will come into his life and bring a lot of suffering. But do prophecies always come true? Demon Dean/human Castiel AU

30. The Holiday - RATING: M | LENGTH: 32,088 (2011)

Castiel and Sam are unlucky in both life and love, so they swap houses for the holidays. Both find the experience highly...interesting. Dean/Castiel Sam/Gabriel

31. And In Your Arms I Shall Find Shelter- RATING: M | LENGTH: 33,824 (2012)

Dean Winchester is a long forgotten painter who suddenly receives an order for a painting from a rich man - Crowley. He is about to start painting when Castiel - his personal reaper visits him. The main question is: Will Castiel give Dean enough time to finish the painting?

32. Jar of Hearts - RATING: PG-13 | LENGTH: 127,192 (2013)

February being the supposed 'month of love' people seem to forget that it's also one of the coldest times of the year. Valentine's Day themed events in a cafe turned bar is how Dean managed the courage to speak to the locally famous singer and somehow score a date, a relationship, and a man he didn't deserve out of the deal. Destiel college/uniAU some Sabriel

#ask me stuff #my fic recs #destiel #spn fanfic #Anonymous

58 notes · View notes