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violentdelightsandviolentends · 1 year

Note

smut for carmen berzatto with “i don’t deserve you?” please and thank you xo

Carmen.

6. "You're my best friend." + 14. "I don't deserve you."

Author's Note - this is a drabble written as part of my 500 Followers Celebration!! find that post here if you're interested. combined 2 requests here - thank you sweet anons!! adore adore adore mr berzatto x

Pairing - Carmen Berzatto x Female Reader

Age Rating - 18+

Warnings - smut!! + cursing, angry carmen

Word Count - 950

Masterlist. 500 Follower Celebration Masterlist.

Admittedly, he's easier to overwhelm than he should be.

The smallest thing goes wrong, and all of a sudden he's spiralling. He panics, and he takes it out on whoever is closest.

Today is no different.

You're wiping down tables out front when you hear him yelling. He's cursing, screaming at his kitchen staff. He's got that sharp edge in his tone, so you know it must be bad.

You drop your cloth and stride towards the back of the restaurant, determined to see what all the fuss is about. You're met with the sight of 4 terrified chefs and Carmen, stood in the middle of the kitchen, shouting at Sydney.

"Are you incompetent, chef? Are you?"

Sydney doesn't often flinch, but even she looks scared this time. She doesn't answer, and it angers him further. He goes to insult her again, but your voice cuts through the room.

"Carmen!"

Everyone stops to look at you. You're notoriously calm, the most collected person in the establishment. If you're yelling, it must be serious.

Carmy locks eyes with you, and you see the immediate regret written all over his face.

"Okay, everyone go home," you demand. No one protests, all of them filing out silently. When they're gone, you speak again.

"What the hell was that?"

When he doesn't answer, you take a step closer to him.

"Carmen, you can't scream at your staff every time something goes wrong. If you're not careful, you're gonna end up running this place by yourself."

He's looking at you with his puppy dog eyes, running his hands through his hair repeatedly. You can see he's clearly struggling with something internally.

"Hey, hey. What's wrong?"

"Nothing," he replies too quickly. "I'm fine."

"Carmen, you're my best friend. I've known you since elementary school - I can read you like a book," you laugh. "Just be honest with me. What's wrong?"

"I just -" he sighs, and starts again. "I think I'm doing all of this wrong."

"What do you mean?"

"I'm trying to do everything the way my brother did it, and it isn't working."

He leans back against the counter, stress plaguing his shoulders.

"You kind of just solved your own problem," you explain, stepping forward so you're practically standing in between his legs. "You're trying to do everything the way your brother did it. But you're not him. You're Carmen."

"No one calls me Carmen but you," he chuckles.

"That's because you're my Carmen. No one else's," you wink.

He smiles at you and your heart skips a beat.

You lean forward and press your forehead to his, exhaling when you feel the tension leave his muscles temporarily.

"I don't deserve you," he whispers.

You pull back and cradle his face in your hands, looking at him intently.

"Deserve or not, you have me," you reassure. "You have me. I'm not going anywhere."

Carmy surges forward and smashes his lips against yours. You gasp in shock, and he takes the opportunity to slip his tongue into your mouth, hands going to your hips to hold you to him.

This isn't the first time the two of you have kissed. In high school, you'd kiss at parties, occasionally makeout in his car, that one time after prom. But this is different. This kiss is charged.

You're tangling your fingers in his hair while he's grabbing at your ass, trying to pull you as close as he can. You break away for air and he kisses your neck, nipping and sucking as he goes.

"Not here, Carmen," you pant. "Office. Office, Carmen."

He picks you up around your middle and carries you, laughing when you squeal loudly, kicking your feet. As soon as you're through the office door, he's crowding you against the wall, desperately attempting to get your chefs jacket off. His fingers are shaking with want, and he's struggling with the buttons.

"Forget about me," you mutter against this lips. "This is about you. Call it stress relief."

You wink before dropping to your knees in front of him. He throws his head back at the sight, overwhelmed.

You untie his trousers and pull them down, pulling him out of his underwear. He's hot and hard and heavy in your hand, and you're realising you've thought about this more times than you'd care to admit.

"Let me take care of you, Carmen," you whisper, before taking him in your mouth.

You set a steady pace, head bobbing and hand moving in tandem. He's groaning, practically writhing, clearly trying not to move his hips.

"Don't hold back on me now," you say sternly, looking up at him with tear stained cheeks. He thinks you've never looked prettier.

"I don't - are you sure? I just - I need to -"

You cut him off by taking him back in your mouth, one hand gripping at the flesh of his thigh. He slowly starts to move his hips, gently and carefully. After a while, he learns your limits, and begins to thrust a little harder.

"Yeah, baby - fuck," he groans. "Just like that. Shit-"

You can tell he's close when his hips begin to stutter. One of his hands moves to grip your hair, and you moan when he tugs. The vibrations of the sound are his undoing, and he spills into your mouth, shuddering and groaning.

"Fuck, I don't deserve you," he mutters, pulling you up so he can slip his tongue past your lips to taste himself.

"Deserve or not, you have me," you echo from earlier. He laughs, and it's like you can see the tension melting from his body.

"My Carmen," you whisper against his lips. "My Carmen."

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igottatho · 2 months

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News. Didn’t sleep much last night so I’ll have to do captions and more detailed stuff later, my sincere apologies.

Here’s a sumup for Feb 22, 2024:

Norway has divested $500 million from Israel bonds. A huge win for BDS movements. More info and the original tweet thread can be found here.

Hundreds of protestors begin again in the Bay Area, directly to Biden’s fund raiser in SF. All of the standalone images are from this event, as reported by Kqed, found via Instagram here. Descriptions for images are attached to each. Entire post contents are as follows: “kqednews Protesters demanding a cease-fire in Gaza gathered Wednesday night near a fundraiser in San Francisco for President Joe Biden's 2024 campaign. Hundreds of activists filled Alta Plaza Park as part of the demonstration organized by the Palestinian Youth Movement and the Party for Socialism and Liberation. Protestors chanted "free, free Palestine" and "from the river to the sea, Palestine will be free" and urged the president to end U.S. aid to Israel. "How dare he visit San Francisco only to rake in cash, ignoring residents of a city which passed a ceasefire resolution with a supermajority?", said Suzanne Ali, a Palestinian Youth Movement member, in a written statement. "While Biden charges donors $100,000 for a ticket to his cocktail party, bombs labeled 'Made in the USA' are raining down on civilians in Gaza for the fourth consecutive month, killing over 13,000 Palestinian children and counting." "We are demanding that there is a permanent ceasefire now," said Party for Socialism and Liberation member Ramsey Robinson, who spoke at the protest. "That's our money, stolen from the people, stolen from the taxpayers, and we want to let Joe Biden know that we know that." President Biden is reportedly making multiple campaign stops in San Francisco and Los Altos Hills between Wednesday and Thursday. But Robinson thinks that other than "the tiny number of the super rich," Biden isn't popular in the Bay Area. Read for more details at kqed.org/news”

Girl Scouts have received funding from Raytheon Tech and has made “stay neutral” merch. We hates a neutral ass bitch, sorry Girl Scouts, not sorry. Full story, from @prem_thakker : “Wow—Girl scouts wanted to make bracelets to help aid Palestinian kids. @girlscouts leadership threatened them, saying they must "stay neutral." After it was pointed out there've been similar efforts for Ukraine, they pivoted, saying the troop didn't follow "approval processes:” Prem then displays another image which says: “The last sentence hit her hard: "Unfortunately, if this direct violation of the organization's governing documents and policies continues, Girl Scouts of Eastern Missouri and Girl Scouts of the United States have no other choice than to engage our legal counsel to help remedy this situation and to protect the intellectual property and other rights of the organization." "I got a little scared; I'm not gonna lie," she said. "I wondered, what are they going to do to me?* For years, she had strived to give these girls the opportunities she had missed out on herself. The troop had formed a sisterhood, growing up together since kindergarten. Abuhamdeh reached out to the other parents. They decided the organization's values didn't align with what they were trying to teach their daughters.” I’m unclear where this image/quote was taken from, presumably from the original reporting of STLtoday.com

There’s additional tweets from Prem, which talk more about Girlscouts & weapons contractors here. The images at source are screencaps (from the girlscout website) which I’ll share here:

The last two images are the most important; the first depicts an image of a Palestinian boy holding a blanket he has apparently salvaged from rubble. The tweet from @Times of Gaza reports at 2:50 am of Feb 22, “Day 139 | During the past 24 hours: 9 massacres committed by the Israeli occupation • 97 people killed • 132 injured.” At 10:52 am @Times of Gaza reports: “UPDATE | 23 people killed in the Deir Al-Balah airstrikes. The death toll is expected to rise.”

This continued loss of life is irreplaceable and my heart mourns for them. FREE PALESTINE please God.

Eta: I added text to all images for my comrades who need it. I also added a couple new images for Girl Scouts info (I had to remove a redundant img of the Kqed insta, in order to include this info). Please LMK in the notes if it’s more helpful/ easier for yall for img notes or directly in my post. My brain is fried, I’m sorry this is such a haphazard post.

Biden and Raytheon info will have to wait til tomorrow. I also hope to get some info/ articles up about Israel and diamond trade - responsible for a huge portion of Israel’s GDP and stolen exploited resources from the Congo.

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coconutcordiale · 2 years

Note

for the 500 followers- can you do “this is a one time thing” with Jake? Love Jake and I can totally see him saying this. But he definitely doesn’t want it to be a “one time thing” after the first time. -🤍

pairing- hangman x female pilot!reader

warnings- vague and brief allusion to smut, this doesn't exactly have a happy ending :( i'm so mean to jake all the time i don't know WHY i swear he's my favorite

length- 0.6k

an- omg this got so angsty i'm so sorry this is probably not what you were hoping for at all & hope it’s not too hard to understand lol

EDIT: sequel / 7.7k expansion fic with happy ending now posted, find it here

The noise from the Hard Deck spills out as the back door opens, ruining your moment of peace as you watch the waves crash onto the shore.

Jake moves to stand next to you, tilting his beer towards your glass in cheers. “Congratulations.”

You tap them together, glancing down at the ring glittering on your finger and trying not to think about the last time that word was shared between the two of you on this very beach. “Thanks.”

“Congratulations. Can’t believe you beat me for first place.”

“An inevitability, darlin’.” He leans in and you can feel the heat radiating from his body, the warmth of his breath on your ear. “Don’t tell anyone, but I might’ve worried you were gonna give me a run for my money for a second there.”

You scoff. “Obviously. You barely won.”

“That’ll be our secret.” He winks and something at your center goes molten. “Care to congratulate me in private?”

“Thought you said that was a one-time thing, Seresin,” you smirk, but the ice in your tone is melting with each passing second that he undresses you with his eyes.

“Shut up and meet me at my truck.”

“You’d think you’d be having more fun,” he comments dryly. “Isn’t this supposed to be the first day of the rest of your life or something?”

“Engagement party, the fanfare, and whatnot are more his thing.” You say, albeit fondly. “It’s a good thing he never wanted jets, Top Gun wouldn’t have recovered from both of your egos.”

Jake snorts. “Can’t believe you ended up with a helo guy.”

You shrug, forcing yourself not to rise to the bait. “I can’t believe we both ended up back in San Diego, after all these years.”

He nods in recognition. “You never did want to come back, after the Maverick mission.”

“I’m sorry?” You’re still confused. “That I didn’t tell you they sent me back to Top Gun too? I haven’t seen you in almost a year, Jake.”

“Don’t act like we haven’t talked since then.” His nostrils flare as he grinds his teeth audibly. “I think you know you were supposed to mention it.”

You deflate. “Maybe. I don’t know what you want from me. We were always playing by your rules here.”

His mouth forms a tight line. “Right. My rules.”

“Yeah,” you agree. “But at least he and I don’t have to be across the world from each other.”

“It’s nice, what you guys have.”

That pulls a chuckle out of you. “Don’t tell me, eternal bachelor, Jake Seresin is thinking about settling down. The women of California will be knocking down your front door.”

Jake takes another sip of his beer. “No.”

“Just an introspective mood then, huh? Don’t hurt yourself.”

“Thinking about what it might’ve been like.”

You furrow your brows. “What?”

“To be with you.”

Your heart stops.

“Are you spending the night?”

“If you want me to.”

“I do,” you whisper, scared to admit it.

“Good. Wanna wake you up with my mouth on you,” Jake murmurs against your skin, arms tightening so you couldn’t move even if you wanted to.

“You never gave me a shot,” Jake continues. “You were always convinced I wouldn’t pull the trigger.”

“I don’t think you would have.”

He nods again like that’s exactly what he expected you to say. “I think you’re wrong. Doesn’t matter now though, does it?”

After a beat, Jake smiles, melancholy tinging around the edges, squeezing your wrist before he turns around to go back inside. “I’m happy for you, sweetheart.”

#hangman drabble #hangman angst #hangman x reader #hangman x you #jake seresin x reader #jake seresin x you #jake hangman seresin #hangman top gun #hangman imagine #🤍 anon #500 followers celly

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juuuulez · 2 days

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🎧 | playlist roulette, 500+ follower celebration!

. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁ ⟡ ݁ . ⊹ ₊ ݁ .

🎰 -> lip gallagher, carmen berzatto, richie jerimovich, mikey berzatto, sydney adamu, carl grimes, negan smith.

📚 -> smut, angst, fluff etc…

just inbox a character + song and i’ll write a short fic/blurb about it! songs marked 🔥 are exclusively NSFW due to, well… the nature of the song. otherwise, feel free to suggest a genre you’d prefer, or none at all, and i’ll go with the whatever suits it best. i’ve gone with songs that give a good mix of different vibes and ideas for some variety.

artists are in alphabetical order and are from my personal playlists, you’ll find: childish gambino, doja cat, faye webster, kendrick lamar, lana del rey, nicki minaj, paramore, phoebe bridgers, tyler the creator, taylor swift…

☆ childish gambino, heartbeat: ✅

⟡ richie jerimovich.

so we're done? this the real shit? / we used to hold hands like field trips / i'm a jerk, but your dude is a real dick / i read his posts on your wall, and i feel sick.

☆ childish gambino, me and your mama:

⟡ negan smith.

i’m in love when we are smoking that la-la-la-la-la / i’m in love when we are smoking that la-la-la-la-la.

☆ 🔥 doja cat, agora hills: ✅

⟡ carmen berzatto.

somethin' different about you / love it when he hit and smack too / baby, lemme lick on your tattoos / that’s true that i like PDA / take it to a seedy place / suck a little dick in the bathroom.

☆ 🔥 doja cat, cyber sex:

⟡ lip gallagher.

when he off work, he calling me on skype (yeah!) / trust me when i meet him, i’m fucking him on sight (yeah) / lemme see you can beat it, i’m feelin' just like mike (okay, okay).

☆ faye webster, kingston:

he said, "baby, " that's what he called me, "i love you" / every single word you say makes me feel some type of way / it’s the thought of you that slightly scares me / but it takes my breath away, forget what i was gonna say.

☆ kendrick lamar, father time:

oh, this the part where mental stability meets talent / oh, this the part, he breaks my humility just for practice / tactics we learned together, sore losers forever, daddy issues.

☆ lana del rey, margaret:

⟡ lip gallagher.

alright, let's waltz this out, 'cause / 'cause when you know, you know / and when you're old, you're old / like Hollywood and me, that diamond on your ring.

☆ nicki minaj, anaconda:

i-i-i’m high as hell, i only took a half a pill / i’m on some dumb shit / by-by-by-by-by-by the way, what he say? / he can tell I ain't missing no meals.

☆ nicki minaj, pink friday girls:

lookin' for my lipgloss and my liner (liner) / lookin' for me, told him meet me at the diner (diner) / got him smilin' 'cause he know i outshine her ('shine her) / had to pop her just to remind her.

☆ paramore, thick skull:

i am a magnet for broken pieces / i am attracted to broken people / i pick 'em up and now my fingers are bleeding / and it looks like my fault / and it looks like i’m caught red-handed.

☆ phoebe bridgers, saviour complex:

baby, you're a vampire / you want blood and i promised / i’m a bad liar / with a savior complex.

☆ phoebe bridgers, waiting room:

⟡ sydney adamu.

and i can wish all that i want, but it won't bring us together / plus, i know whatever happens to me, i know it's for the better.

☆ taylor swift, love story:

that you were romeo, you were throwin' pebbles / and my daddy said, "stay away from juliet" / And I was cryin' on the staircase / beggin' you, "please don't go.”

☆ taylor swift, paper rings:

i like shiny things, but i’d marry you with paper rings / uh huh, that's right / darling, you're the one i want, and / i hate accidents except when we went from friends to this.

☆ tyler the creator, are we still friends?:

⟡ mikey berzatto.

don’t get green skin (green skin), keep contact (keep contact) / don’t say, "goodbye, smell you later" (bye, later) / nah, i can't / i don't want to end this season on a bad episode.

. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁ ⟡ ݁ . ⊹ ₊ ݁ .

and on a more serious note: thank you for all the support on my works!! this blog has been my little safespace for indulging in all my silly little thoughts, and it makes me so happy that others can appreciate what i make too.

i’m excited to explore more tv shows and movies and let my blog and writing grow along with my interests, so i hope you’ll all stick around for the ride!

nervous about finally posting this, i’ve been thinking about doing it for a long time….i wanna write every song on here, so i’m really excited about it!!! feel free to send in multiple if you want ;P

#carmen berzatto x you #carmen berzatto x reader #richie jerimovich x you #richie jerimovich x reader #lip gallagher x reader #lip gallagher x you #sydney adamu x reader #sydney adamu x you #carl grimes x reader #carl grimes x you #negan smith x reader #negan smith x you #mikey berzatto x reader #mikey berzatto x you

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raideneiseuthymia · 2 years

Text

Old Friends

Summary: You haven’t been back to the land of freedom in years, you find yourself in Angle Share trying to find shelter from the cold and you run in to your childhood best friend Diluc Ragnvindr.

Warning(s): None! just some platonic vibes

Pairing(s): Diluc Ragnvindr, GN!Reader

Word count: 2,226

Inspiration(s): Some prompts from THIS post!

A/N: This bout to be a Diluc blog atp i’m scared and 3 fics in 3 days? Terrified rn. I thought this was fr gonna be like 500 words help me. Anyways, feel free to send in requests, headcanons or not, I dont really have any ideas running in my brain so im always open to hear yours!

-----

The night was cold, the cool breeze of Mondstadts wind nipped at your skin making you shiver. You hadn't been back to your birthland since you were a child. Your parents moved away and of course, you followed but now you were older, you wanted to explore.

Some part of you missed the land of freedom. You missed the friends you had here, but you doubted they remembered you, it had been a long time since then. You missed the home you grew up in, the breeze that made you feel like anything you wanted to do was possible. The winds had even carried you back, they carried you home.

Your hands rubbed against your arms, goosebumps covered your skin as you tried to find any way to keep your body warm. The center of the city was almost completely absent of people, night had fallen a few hours ago so it was to be expected, but you had hoped a shop would be open so you could purchase a jacket of some sorts…or a blanket you weren't going to be picky.

It was just your luck to arrive so late.

You could hear the sound of people talking nearby and that's where your feet took you. People sat outside a small Tavern, drinking and laughing with each other. You smiled to yourself, of course! A tavern would be open later than everyone else. Your luck had just turned up in a matter of seconds. Even if it was just for a few minutes, anything to get out of the cold.

Opening the wooden door you let out a pleased sigh as the warmth from inside rushed against your bare skin. It felt wonderful. The bartender had his back to you as he cleaned glass so you made the choice to seat yourself at the bar. You began rummaging through the little satchel that held your mora.

“What can I get you?”

“Uh Yes, I’ll take a,” Your voice trailed off as you glanced up at the menu, you weren't familiar with Mondstadts drinks, “A Grey Valley Sunset please.”

“Y/n?”

Your eyes shifted to the man in front of you as you heard your name. You finally got a good look at the man standing in front of you. His red hair stood out the most but when you locked eyes with him you were sure this was your childhood best friend.

“Diluc?!” A smile formed on your face as you recognized him. “I-I did not expect to run into you tonight,” You laughed, your excitement getting the best of you. You didn't think anyone would recognize you, let alone find your childhood best friend as you tried to find shelter from the cold air.

“What are you doing here?” He asked as the initial shock wore off and he began mixing your drink together. His hands flowed like water, in fluid motions as he mixed the drink he knew by heart.

“Well, I’ve been traveling Teyvat and I thought that I’d visit…home.” You hesitated to call the land of freedom your home. You hadn't been here in so long but when you set foot on the nation's grass it truly felt like you were home. “Perhaps see some childhood friends as well,” You laughed, taking a sip of your drink as he sat it in front of you muttering that it was on the house.

“Well,” He chuckled getting back to cleaning the rest of the glasses in front of him. “You achieved your objective.”

The next hour was spent with you and Diluc catching up. Usually, he was never one for small talk but he was curious about what you had been up to all these years. He learned of your travels and your family. He told you about how he obtained his vision. You even learned of his father's passing and him becoming the tycoon of Mondstadts wine industry, which was ironic since he himself hates wine.

He told you that he too traveled around Teyvat, he told you of his favorite places around the world in all the seven nations. He even told you that no matter where he went it was like the wind was always calling him back home, which you related to.

“Well as much as I’d like to continue talking, it's an hour past closing time,” Diluc smiled as he checked the clock. He was so engrossed in his conversation with you that he completely missed the time passing.

Your eyes widened at his words. You had kept him working late. “Oh Archons, I’m sorry Diluc!” A string of apologies fell from your mouth as you pulled the little bag at your side into your hands.

“I already said it's on me, if you’d like you can pay me back another time, okay?” Diluc’s hand caught yours as you went to rummage through the satchel wrapped around you.

You gave Diluc a sheepish smile, he knew you too well. You were grateful for his hospitality, in all honesty, you were running low on mora so you were trying to save any way you could. “Yeah, yeah okay, thank you Diluc.” you let out an airy laugh as you spoke. He was still the gentleman he was when you two were children. “I’m sorry again for keeping you.”

“No worries,” He replied. He walked from behind the bar and pulled his coat on. His eyes fell on you as you stood from your stool and pushed it into the bar. Embarrassment was evident on your face as you thought about the way you had kept him from going home.

Diluc cleared his throat as you whisked past him out the door. He turned the lights of the tavern off and closed the door behind him, making sure the lock it with the keys he had pulled from his pocket. “I’d prefer to walk you to wherever you’ll be staying; I want to make sure you arrive safe,” Diluc stated, his eyes watching you closely as he turned around to look at you.

“About that,” your hand rubbed the back of your neck as you looked away from him. “I got here rather late…so the inns are all closed until the morning, so I was just going to…walk around?” your words sounded more like a question as you spoke them with hesitation, you hadn't known what you were going to do until the morning.

His brow frowned as he listened to you, his gloved hand coming to his chin as he thought. “You have nowhere to stay.” His mind raced with solutions. “You can't stay out here, it’s not safe,” He shook his head as he thought about all the possibilities of what could happen if he did leave you out here for the night.

“I’ll be fine don't worry! I can take care of myself, I promise.”

Diluc only shook his head at your words. “It’s not that I don't trust in your capabilities to take care of yourself out here,” He pinched the bridge of his nose as he closed his eyes. “After all you have traveled all this way by yourself, so you are plenty capable. I would just feel better if I knew you would be safe.”

“Diluc–”

“You can stay with me at the winery,” He cut you off before you could protest. He opened his eyes to look at you, he could see the embarrassment cross your face as he offered to open the door to his house to you. “There is plenty of guest rooms available, perhaps the bedrooms would like to have someone finally in them,” he joked, trying his best to lighten the feelings you were having. He could sense that you were feeling bad that he was offering you so much after just meeting all these years late.

You looked at the ground and bit your lip, you had two options. Decline his offer and sit out here in the cold until morning and hope a inn had a room open or accept his offer and have a nice warm bed to sleep in tonight.

“You can think of it as a… sleepover.” He mentally laughed to himself at the thought. “Yes, you can sleep over, it'll be like when we were kids.”

You smiled at his words, you did sleep over a lot as a child. You begged his father and your parents all the time to let you sleep over. “Fine, you make a compelling case Master Diluc Ragnvindr,” You joked, using the title most used with him.

He only rolled his eyes at you before stepping around you and gesturing to the stairwell. “Follow me then, try not to fall too far behind, I don't want you getting lost. It’s been years since you've come to visit me.”

The walk out of the city was quiet, the silence between you two was comforting. There was no obligation to talk, just basking in each other's presence after all these years. You would catch yourself glancing up to Diluc every so often to observe him. He had grown so tall since you last saw him. You can’t believe the little boy who was shorter than you now towered over you in height. It was almost unfair.

His eyes stayed stuck on the scenery around you two, his eyes scanning for any sign of danger lurking around. He didn't only have to watch out for himself but you as well, not that he minded. Now that you were here at his side he only realized how much he missed your company, your friendship.

When you moved away when you two were children he was very upset by it. He had locked himself away in his room for two days before Crepus could talk him into coming out and explaining that you had to leave and handing him the note you had left for him. He distinctly remembered the little crinkle in the pages where your tears had fallen.

The only sound was the wind whistling and the rustling of leaves. Diluc couldn't help but noticed the way you shivered, your teeth clattering together as your body did its best to keep yourself warm. “Here,” He began shrugging off his jacket laughing to himself at the situation. He recalled when you two were children, you had always forgotten to bring a jacket as well. “You can borrow my jacket.”

“No, No! You've already done too much for–”

“Nonsense,” He muttered, placing the jacket on your shoulders. He could clearly see you were freezing as the wind whipped against your skin. You were trying to be polite, Diluc respected that but he wouldn't allow you to get sick because of your own stubbornness.

You couldn't deny that the jacket felt nice, it was so warm. You eyed the man next to you as your hands grabbed at the opening of the coat, pulling it closed you let out a sigh of relief as the cold could no longer enter it. “What if you get cold?” You asked.

He only shook his head and gave you a little smile. “Don’t worry, Y/n. My pyro vision makes me warmer than most. So I’ll be fine until we get to Dawn Winery.” He gestured to the vision that laid against his hip, you had completely forgotten about it. “We’re almost there anyways.”

You could see the roof of the winery just as he said that. Your lips parted as you took in the view of crystalfiles flying around the vineyard. Their glowing body illuminating all the grapes around them. The scene was truly beautiful.

“All the maids will probably be asleep so I’ll show you where you can sleep,” Diluc muttered as he let you take in the view. He took your hand into his as he pulled you along the path, the moon lit your view but it was kind of hard to see and he didn't want you to trip.

“Here we are,” He muttered opening the door.

Your eyes took in the home before you. The dining room with many chairs, the office in the corner, and the stairwell leading to the second floor. It almost looked the same as you remembered it, even Crepus’s art was still hung on the wall. Not much had changed since you had last been here.

“Follow me.” He made his way up the grand staircase, his head turning back to you every so often to make sure you were following him, he didn't want you to get lost. He stopped at a door at the end of the corridor. “You can have this room for however long you intended to stay.”

You almost laughed at his words. Of course, this was his plan all along to make it a ‘sleep over’ but instead offer for you to stay here until you want to leave.

Diluc pointed to the door across from the one in front of you. “That is my room, if you need anything feel free to ask me or Adeline, I’ll introduce you two in the morning. Do you have a change of clothes to sleep in? If not, you can take whatever you’d like from my clothes.”

“You’re too nice Diluc,” You smiled as you shrugged off his coat and handed it to him.

“What are best friends for?”

#diluc x reader #diluc ragnivindr x you #diluc ragnivindr x reader #reader x diluc #reader x diluc ragnivinder #diluc x you #you x diluc #diluc ragnvindr x you #diluc ragnivindr imagine #diluc ragnvindr imagines #genshin imagines #genshin imagine #genshin impact imagine #genshin impact x reader #genshin impact x you

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eadanga · 7 months

Text

Royal Love Part 15

Summary: Now 18 Eleanor heads to her first year of college and falls for a handsome musician. Can she keep her royal secret be with her true love?

A/N: This series is for @kingliam2019 one of my 500 followers giveaway winners

Eleanor dashed into the suite and immediately headed to her room. She began throwing things into a suitcase and tried to close it “Come on why won’t you close?”

Marissa stood in the doorway giggle “I don’t think it’ll close with that many clothes”

“Marissa this isn’t time for jokes I’ve got to get home and”

“Ok chill let’s take a deep breath you’re gonna get home”

Eleanor sighs “I’m sorry I’m so excited and I don’t want to miss this birth”

“You won’t”

“I know” She reorganizes the clothes and makes the suitcase close “I’ll make sure I’ll send you lots of pics”

“I don’t want pics”

“Why”

Marissa grins “Cause I’m going with you”

“What? Marissa I don’t think”

“Hey your parents already met me what’s the difference if I come in person and besides I wanna see the cute baby too”

Eleanor smiles “Ok ok if I say no you’ll just follow me long as you don’t post or send pics to your friends remember royal baby”

“Got you I’ll ask your dad first if I can but I won’t send any pics”

“Thank you Marissa now we got a flight to catch”

“Don’t leave without me!” Marissa darts to her room

Eleanor giggles as she continues to grab stuff then she pauses “Oh yeah I forgot to tell Cole” She sends him a text

Hey gotta fly back home for a bit

Why? What’s wrong?

Nothing my sister is being born and I wanna be there

Oh congratulations

Thanks I’ll be back as soon as I can

Long as you call

I will but you know time zones

I’ll wait till midnight if I have to

Cutie I’ll see you soon

Eleanor smiles then puts away her phone and heads out to the lounge where she finds Marissa waiting “You ready?”

“Oh yeah let’s meet little Sammie!”

“Sammie”

“Well that’s her name right? Don’t like that one how about Mary or Bella or Abby”

Eleanor laughs as they head out the door

****

“Wow I’ve never been on a private jet just look at this place” Marissa eyes marvel as she looks around

“Oh it’s nothing really”

“But you know the best part”

“What’s that?”

“No people! Now we can have fun all we want!”

Eleanor laughs as she takes her seat and Marissa sits down next to her

After the flight the head to a private car and drive down the streets of Cordonia

“Cordonia is so beautiful”

“I know I love it here though I love traveling and seeing other places as well”

“You told your dad I’m here right?”

“I did he said long as your sworn to secrecy”

“He can trust me”

“Did you tell your family?”

“Well…”

Eleanor raises an eyebrow “Marissa you didn’t tell them”

“I told them I was going with my friend cause her sibling is being born I didn’t tell them where though”

Eleanor sighs “This is gonna be a problem”

“Don’t worry long as I call them I’m good”

“I hope so”

The car pulls up in front of the palace as they step out Marissa’s eyes almost pop out of her head “Holy shit this is amazing am I dreaming”

Eleanor laughs “You’re not dreaming unless you want me to pinch you”

“No pinch yourself!”

Eleanor laughs “Come on let’s head in mom should be in the doctor’s office”

They head in and head straight to the doctors quarters where they find Alex outside the door. Soon as he sees Eleanor he grins widely “Sis!” He runs to her and throws himself in her arms

“Hi lil bro”

“I missed you”

“I missed you too this is my friend Marissa”

Alex grins “Hiiiiii”

Marissa giggles “You’re so cute Alex”

“Not cut I’m tough like uncle Drake says”

Marissa laughs “Oh I’m sorry your very tough”

“Yup that’s right soon I’ll be the toughest and strongest in the world” Alex turns to Eleanor “Sis Daddy won’t let me in the room why can’t I be there to see the baby?”

“Oh well having a baby is a process that they don’t want little boys to see yet it might scare you”

“I’m not scared of anything I’m not afraid of anything!”

Eleanor laughs “Oh we know that you aren’t”

The doors open and Liam walks out all dressed in his surgical clothes and mask he pulls off his mask and smiles

“Hi dad” Eleanor hugs him and he hugs her tightly

“Hi my princess god I missed hugging you”

“Me too dad”

He kisses her forehead then turns to Marissa “So glad to finally meet you in person”

“You too King Liam”

Liam chuckles “It’s Liam now”

Marissa giggles “Right Liam”

Alex jumps up and down “Daddy is the baby here?”

Liam laughs then he grins “Yes she’s here” He kneels down “But she’s sleeping so you have to be very quiet”

“Ok daddy”

Marissa grins as she grabs Eleanor’s shoulders “Let’s go I’m sure she wants to see Auntie Marissa”

Eleanor laughs “Since when are you an aunt?”

“Since now come on!”

Eleanor giggles as they head into the room. MC sits at her bed cuddling the baby she grins as she sees them enter the room “Here she is”

Marissa eyes sparkle “She’s soooooooo cute”

Alex smiles “Hi baby we’re gonna have fun together”

Eleanor grins “Hi there baby…uh what’s her name mom?”

“We were hoping you can help with that”

Marissa smirks as Eleanor rolls her eyes “No none of the names you picked”

Marissa playfully sticks out her tongue “Boo” She giggles “Ok real talk she looks like a Bella”

Eleanor smiles “Yeah what about Isabella?”

Marissa grins “Oooh Isabella Rose”

MC grins “I love it”

Liam smiles “Me too”

Tags: @indiacater @mfackenthal @the-soot-sprite @twinkleallnight @gkittylove99 @iaminlovewithtrr @princess-geek

#choices #choices fan fiction #choices fandom #choices fanfiction #the royal romance #the royal heir #trr liam #choices trr #trr/trh #liam x mc #king liam

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ily-fictional-women · 2 years

Text

The Silence You Left Me

Summary: Over 2 million minutes without you, yet it felt like 2 million years.

Pairing: Valkyrie x fem!reader

Warnings: Minor mentions of death, grief, and drinking.

Word count: 1045

a/n: This is for my late 500 followers celebration on tik tok @ily_fictional_women_. After this, I’m gonna try and post a least once a week. Also, this is my first post on Tumblr. Hope you enjoy! (Reblogs are welcome but please no translating and critiques/advice are heavily encouraged.)

Valkyrie woke up holding her close like any other morning. She always got up earlier than her so she could do the paperwork Thor never did. As expected though Y/n woke up after some time preparing breakfast for herself and Valkyrie. “Y’know you really should let him do some of that paperwork. If he’s going to be the King of ‘New Asgard’ he needs to take on responsibility. It’d help if he stopped being a slob too”

She laughed off the comment “Love, he’s grieving. He needs time.”

Y/n turned to face Valkyrie, except her expression was almost emotionless “Sure, but everyone is grieving. You’re grieving too Val. Do you not remember?”

Valkyrie paused on the paperwork hearing her say that “Y/n…What do you mean? Remember what?”

“The day you couldn’t protect me.” After those few words, Y/n slowly dusted away. “No no no no no, I can’t lose you again.”

“NO!” She screamed out, it was a dream. She was dreaming of her again. It was always the same dream, waking up next to her. Dreaming of a life she always wished to live. The truth is it didn’t play out like that. While on the refugee ship when Thor saw the larger ship he opened the intercoms. It was Thanos, in that moment he ordered Valkyrie, Y/n, and Korg to escort as many passengers as possible into the escape pods and to go with him. “The three of you need to go now!”

“Thor no! I'm not leaving you. I can fight.”

“I know you can, but this is different. It’s hard to explain but I’ve had visions of that man before and he is not here to be kind. Plus those people in the escape pods right now, they’ll need a leader when they get to earth. And you have someone who loves you if you don’t go for the people go for her.”

“Yes sir.” She went into an escape pod with her and everything had gone smoothly for a while. Once landing on earth though something was different, people started disintegrating almost as if they were dusting away.

“Val, what’s happening?” Looking over she saw your hands starting to slowly disappear. “I- I don’t know. It’s going to be okay though, it’s going to be okay.” The two started to cry “Val, I’m scared, I don’t want to go. I don’t want to leave you.” She held her as close as she could but in what felt like a second she was gone.

That memory played over in Valkyrie’s head every time she had that dream. When the news came out that half the population had died she had lost it. Of all people and beings throughout the universe, out of the trillions of other people that it could’ve been instead of her, she was randomly selected to die.

To cope, during the day she would throw herself into the work Thor never did. Presenting herself as the fearless strong leader everyone needs. Although this way of coping took a toll on her. When she wasn't working and helping the community she’d be at home. Except it wasn’t home to her, drinking away what was left of her soul all she could think about was the silence. You were always the more talkative upbeat person in her life, it's what made her fall in love with you. That empty feeling of you not being there with her never left.

One night when she was isolating herself, drinking she heard a knock on her door. Opening she saw Korg “Hi mate! I was just coming to check up on you. Miek, Thor, and I were going to have a movie night if you wanted to join.” “Thank you, Korg but I’m a bit busy right now.” She started to close the door but before she could he managed to comment “You’re thinking about her again eh?”

That one question broke the dam for her “Yes of course I’m thinking of her! I loved her.” Her small tears turned into sobs “She’s gone and I couldn’t protect her I- I could have-” Korg cut her off putting a reassuring hand on her shoulder “Valkyrie there’s nothing you could have done. There was nothing you could do to prevent it. It’s not your fault. You know she wouldn’t want you to think that.” He was right and she knew that but she stilled somehow blamed herself. But it was comforting to hear someone tell her and reassure her it wasn't her fault.

Once she was called into battle though to fight Thanos she couldn’t help but say yes. All these years she had held in her emotions to help the people and now was her moment to avenge her, to avenge Y/n. While she fought brave and hard against Thanos’s army all she could truly think about was her.

Once Tony snapped she didn’t know what to expect when she came home. But she couldn’t be any more pleased. She saw her, it was her. It wasn’t a torturous dream or nightmare it was her. Once Y/n noticed her they almost tackled each other. Valkyrie held her even closer than the day they lost each other. Whispering to Y/n she managed to let out “Gods I missed you, my love.”

“I missed you too Val, although I wasn’t gone for that long right? All I remember was slowly disappearing as you held me close, then I was back.” Valkyrie didn’t know how to tell her it’d been five years since she disappeared but she knew she wouldn't tell her now.

After some time, and a lot of explaining, things went back to normal. Or at least what the new normal was. As they cuddled each other close Valkyrie brushes a part of Y/n’s hair to the side as she rambled on about a new show she watched. Although Y/nv paused “Why are you looking at me like that?” Valkyrie had snapped out of it “Like what?” Y/n giggled softly “I don’t, lovesick maybe?” “I guess I’m just happy to have you back.”

Finally, Valkyrie was happy, the silence Y/n left with was gone, she was back, the love of her life.

#valkyrie #king valkyrie #valkyrie x y/n #valkryie x reader #valkyrie x you

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fairyhaos · 10 months

Note

yena !! i hope u still remember me ʕ⁠ꈍ⁠ᴥ⁠ꈍ⁠ʔ it's the wind chime anon !! 🎐

how have u been omg (⁠◍⁠•⁠ᴗ⁠•⁠◍⁠) i had my exams last month n i have da notifs on for way too many blogs on here so i just uninstalled tumblr instead,,, but im back now (i was about to send this ask sooner (2 days ago ?) but i was a bit scared lmao,,, but i just saw ur post about shua so i had to come and say hi >:3) but wahh congrats on all ur milestones ! before i left i think u were about to start ur 500 followers event ! ! n i think u crossed 1234 already !! and probably even more ! that's supa cool n 'm so so proud of you ☆૮꒰ˊᗜˋ* ꒱ა also i love love love ur new theme *ଘ(੭*ˊᵕˋ)੭* ੈ✩

ooo n about finding jeonghan's colour,,, u looked at his pictures to figure out what colour he is ?? that's super intriguing actually. bcs the thing is idk if i have this type of synesthesia,,, im afraid what im doing is just strongly associating colours with people ? like the aspects of their personality play a major role in determining their colour but similar to the process of getting to know someone, it's v hard for me to decide on their colour. for example, jihoon. it's like, , the more i see him the more i feel like i don't even know him yk? for hansol, even tho i don't know what his colour is, i can at least tell that his colour would most prolly be a cooler shade. but for jihoon n sometimes even mingyu i can't rly figure them out? it's like i have options but i don't know for sure. n i don't rly know if this is synesthesia ?? lmdoajdjska i think i should just take the test by synesthesia battery but im just scared lmao </3

anygays i read the rest of your synesthesia posts and wahh, , yena ur just so talented. ur so cool ! ! i rly don't know what else to say. you have a way w words and it's as if i can feel the colors permeating through the descriptions. honestly it's such a gift to be able to share your vivid perception with others and i just wanna thank u for that (⁠✿⁠^⁠‿⁠^⁠) i have sm to say about each member's colour and esp shua's but this got rly long so i'll do that in another ask ?? heh >:3

-🎐

WIND CHIME ANON OMGGGG YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH I MISSED YOU :<

i hope you've been doing okay!! how did your exams go????? literally i'd be sitting here and just thinking :(( i hope wind chime anon is doing okay in this world :(( haha ive missed you sm

it's okayy there's no need to be scared im super nice!! (i think?) thank u sm for loving my new theme too haha i love it a lot as well

and abt jeonghan: yeah! honestly synaesthesia is a really really different experience for anyone so i like to think of it as one of those sexuality labels. if you feel like it fits, then you're allowed to use it! those tests online are sketchy af anyways unless you wanna pay for a Real and Scientific Test

i think assigning colours to vibes and personalities is very interesting though!! i don't think i could do that haha, personalities have always just been so complex and different for me that a colour just doesn't come to mind at all (i don't think my synaesthesia works in that way lmao) so that's really really fascinating! honestly tho,,, im also struggling w jihoon too and maybe that's bc i haven't spent several minutes just Staring at his face yet but i just have a gut feeling that he's gonna be one tough cookie

aww thank u so much please that's so lovely to hear ^^ that really makes me the happiest oml, being told that people are able to feel my writing and my descriptions <3

aww yess please do lmk what you think of the others !! it's so nice to see you in my inbox again 💗

#fairyhaos.answers #ask #anon ask #🎐.anon <3 #lovely anon <3

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itgirlification · 3 years

Text

supermodel | jjk

the last three months have been hell for you, but Jungkook seemed to be living his best life.

pairing: ex-bf!jk x thick!reader

warnings: explicit mentions of body image and insecurities, infidelity, anal sex, oral (male receive), foul language (kinda), etc.

now playing: supermodel by sza

part two part three

Exactly three months ago, your and Jungkook’s 2 years relationship officially ended. Unofficially, it ended about 5 months ago. And for about one month now, Jungkook’s been seeing someone else.

Your heart and mind told you not to do it but you couldn’t help calculating. Three months ago, you were still dating, two months later, he started dating someone else. That must mean he’s known her for a while. Did he cheat on you with her? Well, it’s not like it matters now anyway, does it?

Her name was Yuki, an undeniable Japanese beauty. You were still in college, studying music and she was a famous model who appeared in internationally known magazines. You assumed she met Jungkook during a photoshoot since he was a professional photographer who often worked for companies like Vogue and Playboy. You couldn’t help but compare yourself to her.

It wasn’t the fact that he moved on so quickly that hurt you the most. It was the fact that he knew all about your low self-esteem and how you lack confidence. Especially about your body. And he still went and dated a model, of all professions in the world. He was definitely over you.

If you didn’t know any better, you’d think he did it on purpose. But thankfully, you knew better, he looked too happy for that to be even considered. He forgot about you.

You’re making yourself sadder by remembering all the times he assured you you were beautiful and your body was nothing to be ashamed of. The times he let his fingertips run over the lines of your stretch marks, whispering in your ear how much he loved them and how they reminded him of Tiger stripes. The times he caressed your jiggly thighs and told you how sexy he thought they were.

Then your mind would drift back to the phone in your hand, the Instagram page of Yuki Sakurai opened, careful not to accidentally like anything and expose yourself. Not that she’d notice anyway, she had 3.7 million followers, while you had a private one with 500 followers and no posts, and she gets around 300 to 700 thousand likes on each post, depending on whether she posts random photos or pretty pictures of herself. Or newly, your ex-boyfriend, Jungkook. Oh, how crazy everybody goes whenever she posts him. People love them together. You couldn’t blame them. Two attractive people? Of course, they’re gonna look great together.

Fucking great.

That the end of your relationship with Jungkook would look like this was semi-predictable from the beginning. He did admit to you that he never thought he’d date someone that looked like you when you first dated. And your heart broke a little. But he also made up for it in those two years, it was a beautiful relationship nonetheless.

While you weren’t exactly his ‘ideal’ type, he was definitely yours. You always heard from other women ‘when in a relationship, the man always has to love the woman more than she loves him. Otherwise, it won’t work.’ You never really got the saying until your breakup with Jungkook happened. It was the fact that you clearly loved Jungkook more than he loved you that lead to this.

“Oh my goodness!”, your roommate, Jane, dramatically exclaimed. “Will you stop feeling bad for yourself and do something? That’s not what hot girls do, sis.”

Jane was a lovely girl with a not so lovely temper. She always means well and you got along perfectly as soon as you met. Which was around 3 and a half years ago.

She looked over your shoulder to see what you were looking at. You obviously didn’t want her to see you snooping around your ex-boyfriend’s current girlfriend’s Instagram but it was too late.

“Seriously, yn?”, she took your phone in her hand and threw it on the bed. “Let’s go somewhere, you can’t do this to yourself anymore. I’m not letting you.”

Jane was clearly worried about you at this point. The only thing you did these last few weeks was eating, shower, cry, sleep and miss a whole bunch of classes. This wasn’t good at all.

“Where?”, your question was short.

“To the mall? Or the nail studio? Anything that’ll get you out of this fucking dormitory.”, Jane sighed, pulling the blanket off of you, making you whine a little. “C’mon, go put on some cute outfit and we’ll go.”

You felt bad since she was trying hard to make you feel better. But it didn’t really work.

You nodded, standing up from the bed, nonetheless. You picked out a cute two-piece dress, that brought back blurred memories of the time you went on a date with Jungkook, wearing the same two-piece. Bet Yuki would look cuter in this...

‘Shut your petty ass up, yn. It’s embarrassing, the way you’re stuck on a taken guy who wants nothing to do with you’

You wish you could change the way you think, even if it’s just for an hour or two. You wish you would stop imagining Jungkook judging you when he saw you naked or when you told him that you wished you could cut off some of your fat with a pair of scissors.

You were beyond ashamed of yourself. Why wasn’t it easy for you to just stay by yourself? why were you so desperately in need of Jungkook by your side to the point where you’d lock yourself in your room for a month just because he isn’t there?

You needed Jungkook. You became so attached to him in those two years, because you always saw him as a permanent, a forever. Not just a temporary, not just a distant memory. You already saw him as the father of your children, as the man you’re gonna marry.

You were so blinded by the fact that you had him, that you forgot you could lose him anytime.

“I’m done, let’s go.”, unenthusiastically, you announced to Jane, who was already waiting for you.

“Let’s get the fuck outta here!”, In contrast to your spirit, hers seemed to be all roses and daisies. “Lord knows you need it...”

__________

“Look at this cute ass skirt, girl”, Jane pointed at a chic, wine mini skirt she was holding. “You know, when I saw it back there I wanted to have it, but it’d look so much better on you”

You took a few seconds to admire Jane’s beauty. She was about 3 cm taller than you, had a great posture, and almond, dark brown eyes that suited her dark skin tone perfectly. Her body leaned more towards the slimmer side.

“Shut up! No, it would not”, you let out a small giggle. “It would look gorgeous on you, buy it.”

She smiled a little at your laughs. She was happy to see you at least a little cheerful again. “Yeah, but I think it’d look better on you. I’m entitled to my own opinion, am I not?”

You knew this debate was gonna go back and forth, because of her stubbornness. “Let’s both buy the skirt.”

You ended up doing so, added by a bunch of bags full of clothing. This may’ve turned into your new coping mechanism. Who needed therapy when you can go on a shopping spree?

Two hours were spent in boutiques and clothing stores and Jane decided she was tired, wanting to visit the local spa.

“No, seriously, these Riverdale seasons just keep on getting worse and worse. Netflix needs to step up their game ASAP”, Jane ranted, making you laugh at how serious she takes it. “It’s getting embarrassing. I’m being for real.”

The two of you were sitting in the whirlpool at the spa, relaxing your whole bodies a little.

“Yeah, yeah, whatever, I don’t watch these new Netflix shows anyways. Been stuck on the vampire diaries for the last 7 years”, you chuckled, knowing you hated trying new things. “Can you pass me one of those magazines?”

Jane nodded, grabbing a random one from the table next to her and handed it to you, without looking at it.

The cover of it caught your eyes immediately. How could it not, when your ex’s new girl looks absolutely dazzling on the front page of it.

‘Supermodel Yuki Sakurai talks summer fashion tips, struggle with self-love and most importantly, her hot, new boyfriend the media is going crazy over’ was the headline of the Harper’s Bazaar Magazine cover.

You felt your stomach getting sick and your breath getting heavier, but you still flipped the pages until you found the one with her interview. You began reading it, skipping the boring parts.

‘Int: so, we see you have a new boyfriend. Tell us, how did you guys meet?

Yuki: Yeah, he’s an amazing guy. We actually met about six or five months ago at one of my photoshoots, since he’s a photographer and we exchanged numbers and stuff, and then we made it official mid last month.’

About six or five months ago? You were with him back then, but her answer was too unclear to find out if he cheated or not.

“Woah, yn, you okay?”

You entirely forgot about the fact that you were with Jane, let alone somewhere other than your bed.

Before you could react, Jane snatched the magazine out of your hand.

“You really can’t escape them, huh?”, She sighs, taking you in her arm. “It’s gonna be okay, baby. In a few months, you’re gonna look back to this and think wow I really was stuck on a guy who’s scared of microwaves and cried like a bitch when Iron Man died.”

You laughed, punching her arm playfully. “You know, I actually love these things about him. Shows his sensitivity and the way he perceives things.”

Jane looked at you as if she didn’t believe you were actually saying that stuff. “Girl, you’re overanalyzing this. Let’s just throw this shit in the trash, okay?”

She put the magazine aside.

“I just don't know what I did wrong.”, You murmured. “I know we weren't the best, but we didn't even fight that much. We could’ve talked it through.”

Jane pursed her lips and cooed. “You know, relationships are complicated sometimes. The reason why he broke up, to begin with, is probably not your fault.”

“Well, what if it is? I mean what if I was too fat or too ugly for him?”, you asked. “If he wanted a skinny girl so bad, I could’ve lost weight for him, I don’t get it.”

Jane looked at you like you lost your mind entirely. “I can’t believe you just said that! Even if that was the reason, which it wasn’t, you shouldn’t make yourself suffer because of it. That’s his loss. You’re beyond gorgeous and you have an amazing body.”

“You’re just saying that.”, tears slowly started coming up in your eyes. “But the thing is Jungkook knows all about my insecurities. Why would he do that to me? I know he knows that I’m still not over him.”

You usually didn’t like crying in front of other people, but you didn’t really care at the moment, besides that was Jane. You trusted her with your life.

“Girl, men are trash, I can’t believe you’re crying over one right now, seriously.”, she wiped your tears and held your face between her hands. “You know, honestly, I’ve read so many articles about how models actually hate themselves and have like the lowest self-esteem so in conclusion, no matter how miserable you are, his new girl is even more miserable.”

You knew Jane didn’t mean it in a harmful way, but it sounded harsher than needed. “I don’t hate her, she probably doesn’t even know about me. I’m just really insecure. He upgraded from me. He’s dating a whole model now.”

The situation just felt like a deja vu of these last few weeks laying in your bed, even though you were at the spa with your friend. You were supposed to have fun, yet you didn’t feel like having any.

“Why would you feel insecure when all you’ve seen of her are Instagram posts and red carpet pictures? She’s supposed to look beautiful, it’s her job.”

To a certain extent, Jane was right, but that didn’t really help your situation, you still felt bad about yourself. You stayed silent.

“C’mon, this isn’t fun anymore. Let’s leave.”, Jane mumbled.

_______

it’s been two days since the incident at the spa and you felt a little bit better now.

Those days were spent reading the same three book series you’ve read your entire life, overthinking, hot Cheetos, Indian takeout, and Netflix. It really wasn’t as miserable as it sounded.

You were just taking a little rest before term break ends and you have to go back to the shithole college again.

Jane was using the time until college starts again, but in different ways than you were. She was planning on going to some frat party in an hour and forget about the world’ for a minute. Or till 4 in the morning, where she will most likely drunk call you and ask you for a ride back to the dorms, because the friends she went to the party with were shit-faced as well and were in no way capable of driving anywhere without the cops stopping them.

Going out partying on a Friday night was a Jane tradition. In the past, you’d sometimes go with her, but you mostly spent your time out with Jungkook doing something more fun than partying could ever be. Now you can’t do that anymore, but laying in bed is more ideal than a party for you at the moment.

“How do I look?”, Jane twirled around to show off her black cocktail dress. She looked beautiful.

“You look beautiful.”, you responded to her question. “Are you leaving now?”

“Hm”, she said, to which you nodded. “You sure you don’t wanna come with me? It’s gonna be really fun.”

You shook your head no.

“Alright”, she shrugged, making her way out of your bedroom. “But I told you, it’s gonna be fun.”

You chuckled, rolling your eyes. “I’ll stay here, I have shit to do.”

“Yeah, right, like binge-watching the vampire diaries and taking 5-hour naps”, she said in a sarcastic tone. “Anyway, bye-bye, Vic’s already waiting for me in the car.”

Victoria was perhaps one of the most obnoxious people you know, yet she was too much of a nice person for you to talk shit about her. The voice of your intrusive thoughts couldn’t help but to, though.

“Alright, bye, take care and say hi to Vic from me.”

After Jane left, an hour went by like it was just a couple of minutes. You were starting to get real bored and decided to watch some regular tv in hopes to find something you enjoy. You ended up not finding anything fun, but you still watched it, because you didn’t have anything else to do.

A few moments later, the doorbell rang and you were suddenly worried. Either this is a serial killer or Jane forgot something.

But to your surprise, it was neither, but it was none other than

“Jungkook?”, truly, those were the only words you were able to mutter out at your shocked state. “What are you do-“

At the speed of light, you were interrupted by your ex-boyfriend pressing his lips to yours. He didn’t say a word.

You weren’t expecting him. Not knowing how you were supposed to feel at the moment, you just let it happen. You were sure your mental state couldn’t get any worse than that, no matter how this will affect you in the end.

“Is Jane home?”, for the first time in 3 months, you’re hearing his silky voice again.

Jungkook knew Jane always had some type of special hatred for him with her killing stares and her bitter comments. You didn’t notice either though.

He also knew she must hate him even more after your breakup. Or maybe she liked him more now since she was able to get rid of him without killing anyone.

“No”, your answer was short and it made a weight fall from Jungkook’s shoulders before he continued kissing you.

It wasn’t anything you haven’t done before, yet it felt like it’s been ages since it last happened. Your mind drifted to the thought of Jungkook and his model girlfriend. You were asking yourself what their sex life was like, if she was tighter than you or if she had stretch marks and scars.

Jungkook’s lips were moving south, giving your neck wet kisses, while you were wondering why he broke up with his model girlfriend. Or if he even did. You felt selfish for not caring.

Removing your clothes one by one, you were left in your underwear, while Jungkook only had his boxers on.

This body was yours. You knew it inside out. Where he liked to get touched and where he preferred not to. You knew him better than anyone else. You were sure.

You already moved to your bedroom, since Jungkook effortlessly carried you there. You were sat on his lap, facing him and your hands were in his messy hair. His hands were around your waist, he was slightly smiling into the kiss, as you started grinding on him. He loved how easy it was for him to turn you on. You were still his.

Cutting off the kiss, he looked you in the eyes, while his hand was on your cheek. “Say aah.”, he said.

You widened your mouth obediently, which was followed by him collecting as much saliva as he could in his mouth and spitting it into your mouth.

“Swallow.”, demanding, he spit on your face, his eyes become darker with every passing moment. You did as he said.

You looked at him with big eyes. He knew you loved it. You’ve always had a thing for him degrading and humiliating you during sex.

He started grinding on you almost desperately. You knew exactly what he wanted.

Getting out of his grip, you dropped to your knees and freed his hard dick from his drawers. You reached for it and started pumping it, and licking it. Your spit was leaking down his dick as you used it for lubrication. Then you started sucking on it, just the way you used to.

Jungkook’s groans and satisfied sighs were enough to make you even wetter than before. You enjoyed giving more than receiving.

Your mouth was wet and warm around him, giving him a feeling of familiarity. You lick over the tip a few times, then proceed to fully take him into your mouth.

The bulge in your throat could be seen and the way your eyes were tearing up a little wasn’t bothering you at all. You loved giving.

Jungkook started thrusting in and out of your warm, welcoming mouth, his tip hitting the back of your throat multiple times.

“Fuck”, a throaty moan left Jungkook’s mouth, giving you hints that he was about to cum. And he did, releasing in your mouth before you swallowed it. “Shit, baby, that was so good.”

You felt your face heat up and a sheepish smile made its way to your face. Your throat was sore.

The two of you were on the bed again. To you, it felt like it was the times before your breakup again, when you’d purposely start an argument just for the makeup sex because Jungkook wasn’t giving you any anymore. It was like sex was the only thing to look forward to.

You felt attached to Jungkook to a point where it was dangerous. You weren’t okay when he wasn’t around. He affected every part of your life and God knew it wasn’t always a positive thing. Maybe it was the fact that he took your virginity. Maybe because he was your first boyfriend, the first guy that made you believe you were worthy of love and that someone was actually capable of loving you. One thing you knew was Jungkook had an expansive influence on your life.

While you were practically drowning in your own thoughts, Jungkook was busy taking off your underwear.

“You okay?”, Jungkook calmly asked you, looking at your riddled face.

“Huh? Yeah, I’m okay.”, you sounded distracted, Jungkook wasn’t sure about asking you what it is though. He didn’t feel like getting personal.

So he shrugged it off and started kissing you again, his dick was unsurprisingly hard again as he played with your tits. He drew lines over the stretch marks of your thighs and kissed them.

“Can I fuck your ass?”, Jungkook’s raspy, tired-sounding voice casually asked, to which you quickly nodded, knowing that Jungkook’s favorite position had always been anal. He was massaging and gripping your ass firmly.

“This is gonna hurt at first, but I promise it gets better.”, He warned calmly into your ear, while putting some lube on his dick and just went right into your ass, slowly thrusting so you don’t feel as much pain.

He was right, it did hurt a lot when he first put it in, but the pain just changed into pleasure in a matter of time and his slow-paced thrusts helped with the adjustment.

“Fuck, I missed this ass”, he practically growled into your ear, as he kept on thrusting in and out, steadily gripping your wide hips with his big, veiny hands. “It just doesn’t feel right when I’m inside her ass.”

You knew your confidence shouldn’t rely on Jungkook bringing his girlfriend down, but you couldn’t help but feel good about your body when he said that. It’s been a while since you felt even a tiny spark of confidence. You weren’t so fond of him mentioning her while he was inside of you.

Your soft moans rang through the whole room like sirens, while he watched your ass jiggle against his pelvis, thrusting in and out faster every second. He missed this.

You had always thought you were indecisive, but you knew exactly what you wanted. You just couldn’t have that, so you’d eventually have to settle for less.

Jungkook wasn’t to blame for it, you just couldn’t concede your shortcomings. The movie’s villain wasn’t always the real villain.

Your hands traveled to your pussy to make sure you’d orgasm as well, when you heard Jungkook’s breathing getting heavier and his thrusts getting gentler than before, indicating that he was gonna cum soon. You were certain he could make you cum with just anal, but you wanted to cum with him.

With furrowed eyebrows and drops of sweat dripping down his body, Jungkook looked down at your arched back. The whole scene was sticky, especially when Jungkook presses his upper body to your back, whispering sweet nothings into your ear and kissing the spot.

It was kinda odd, having sex with your ex-boyfriend you were crying over just a day ago. There was a certain intensity to it though. Like your long-lasting nostalgia was finally fulfilled.

You’ve realized you couldn’t imagine yourself being intimate with anybody else. Jungkook already knew your body, how it looked without the material protecting it, the strawberry skin, the slightly sagging breasts you swore you’d surgically remove once you had the chance to but didn’t. He knew where you liked being touched, he was the first one to even touch you in those places.

You were unsure what you’d do with yourself when he leaves.

Jungkook’s thrusts slowly started stopping and you too felt the familiar sensation in your stomach.

Suddenly, you two were nothing but desire, fear, and pleasure. And faster than you could process, you came together.

For minutes after your orgasm, you were just laying on the bed, thoughtless. Maybe a little regretful. Not you, but him.

You weren’t facing each other, but you could hear each other’s breathing. Your stomach was filled with something you’d describe as post-sex melancholia.

All of a sudden, Jungkook stood up from the bed, startling your resting self a little, but you decided to keep quiet, wanting to see what he was going to do.

He made his way to the door to leave what he thought was your sleeping body laying there. You couldn’t keep quiet anymore.

“Where are you going?”, your soft voice suddenly rang in his ears. “Don’t you wanna stay?”

He didn’t know how exactly to tell you. You’ve always been a gullible little girl, you were the type of girl to think fucking equals love. Little did you know that wasn’t the case at all.

“Yn.... you know I can’t”, Jungkook responded, you knew it wasn’t gonna be good when he said your name like that. “I got a girl at home and I don’t wanna mess shit up with her.”

There it was. Your suspicion was corroborated. He was still going out with the model and you were a certified home wrecker. Great.

You physically felt your heart breaking. “Bu- but why are you here then?”

You were incapable of being mad at him at the moment. It was your fault for letting him in, again. After breaking your trust and your heart.

“This was a mistake”, he declared, not looking into your eyes. “I’m sorry, yn...”

He’s moved past your room now, already at the exit of your dormitory. He was about to leave.

“You already ruined shit with her when you came here and fucked me.”, your voice was small, but your words were heard.

Without looking back, he left.

And you went back to your room, standing in the middle of it for a minute in silence before your brain fully processed what had happened and your tears started pouring.

743 notes · View notes

i8jisoo · 3 years

Text

𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐘 𝐊𝐈𝐃𝐒 ⇉ skz with pregnant!reader

seungmin x reader | part seven of dad!skz

↬ genre; fluff & angst

↬ warnings; obviously pregnancy, talk of sex/condoms, talk of morning sickness, cursing, child-birth

↬ notes; i feel like my mental health is getting worse and it has been really hard to be positive but i finished this awhile ago, never posted it! just thought to post it today since i just reached 500 followers,, tysm everyone for the support on my posts and following me for content,, i’m waiting for enhypen debut rnnn, it’s really one of the only things keeping me happy n ready. my bias is jungwon :) he’s so adorable n cute i can’t wait + i hope to start writing for enhypen soon when i feel better,, ty guys <3

the night was a one night stand

seungmin had no plans to see you after, you already gone by the morning so it made no different what he wanted afterwards

so with his number in your phone, you decided that texting him would be the best

you texted him your address, asking him to meet with you after u addressed who you were

the best maybe after twelve, seeing as how from nine to eleven you would be occupied with the toilet bowl, the morning sickness really weighing on you

hes there, ready to talk, looking great

ur just there in a t-shirt and sweatpants with slightly messy hair

you seat him on ur couch, pacing in the kitchen before actually beginning to talk

“it broke, or maybe you forgot. i don’t know but you, you got me pregnant.”

i honestly see seungmin being really innocent in this and he’s just made a bad decision which resulted in a baby

“wh-what? no, i used.. i..”

it dawns on him that he can’t remember slipping on a condom before

he’s turned white as a sheet, probably feeling more ill than you

he does the math, figuring you’re around two months, you’re not that far along obviously

“we don’t have to do this, you hardly know me.”

hes shaking his head quickly, “nono, i wanna.. i may never get this chance again. i might not ever meet someone again, so, if it’s with you? i’m fine with that.”

seungmin was there for the next appointment, fully supportive and stepping up

hes scared but so excited

he also moves out of the dorms, raising flags, but he keeps assuring everyone that he was just getting a change of scenery

he claims he got a dog but uh, there isn’t one

he actually moves in with u, an apartment that wasn’t too far away from the dorms and he will time to time spend the night if they need him to

ur actually really understanding of his career and u admire his adjustment

late night with him where u two go to a twenty-four hour convenience store and buy every junk food possible

u also acquired strange cravings such a pineapple and cream cheese or kimchi and chocolate sauce

that night however u rly had a craving for cheese and cheese only

it doesn’t last however, from three to five you are in the bathroom hunched over

he?? isnt?? actually?? the worst partner to get pregnant from a one stand with?????????????????????????????????????????

he’s pretty much a sweetheart

bless everyones heart though when they find out about you

“this is my friend, we are.. having a uh, baby!”

haha surprise...

u swore that jisung’s breath was lost when he said that

chan is fucken freaking out about this

“we’re gonna be uncles!”

everybody screaming and cheering which was a good sign

ur days are average and u guys just act like friends

friends having a baby lmfao

it’s a fine line between dating and not dating

seungmin reaaalllyy likes you but he has this bit of guilt in him for getting you pregnant

ur the one who uprooted your life and ur gonna have a kid for the rest of ur life with him and he’s still living his and doing what he loves

seungmin heart eyes motherfucker when u come to a concert, just there to see him n see what he does for a living

u guys get this cute ass picture of everyone lmfao i just imagine the boys and seungmin standing around and posing with ur small bump

he doesn’t get to go to every single appointment, so his first appointment he went to was when you were around six and a half months

he’s super excited and just super nervous

so many expecting moms its crazy

when your name is called and you two go back, he’s jumping out of his seat and going back with you

the doctor applies the gel on your stomach, the rounded bump sticking out prominently

his hand clasps around yours, fingers laced with yours and he gives you a warm smile

the screen flickers on and theres your baby

it’s the cutest thing he’s ever seen

he can clearly see the legs and arms, theres the head!!! he can make out the toes and fingers

then u guys get to hear the heartbeat together

it’s so strong and he just,, wow.. this is real 😣

ur bearing his child, your guys’ baby,, he can hardly believe it

then the doctor asks if u two want to know the gender

“yeah.” 🥺🥺🥺

ofc u could’ve known before but u didn’t know if seungmin wanted to find out or wait n u just would feel guilty if u went ahead

he was rly trying to be as involved as possible, he had a busy schedule and u two weren’t even dating and this whole thing was happening secretly

they turn the monitor for you two to look at, pointing around

“there they are, we have a baby boy.”

seungmin is so taken aback, this all is so .. unreal for him

he’s ready to get the disc with ur ultrasound footage n the heartbeat but also the ultrasound photos 🥺 he’s so in love with your baby boy

u two are just sitting in the office after, ur wiping off ur belly n he’s just like

“i’m in love with you. you and our son — i know, we agreed to co-parenting and no feelings but,” his voice is so strained n he’s just so fragile n so utterly raw, “i couldn’t help it.”

ur fact at first is just frozen and slightly shocked

then ur like 😮🥺😣

“no, cause i was thinking the same exact thing.”

that seals the deal for u two pretty much, ur both emotional wrecks in the exam room

theres the boyfriend and girlfriend dynamic now — seungmin and you sleeping cuddled together

it wasn’t like you two didn’t cuddle before,, but it would usually end up with seungmin silently creeping out of bed or you softly removing his arm or you leaving him gently

u rely on him more, the final trimester hard on you and ur so exhausted and hurting

u two getting the nursery ready together which actually consists of u sitting down rather than actually doing anything

though u will have to teach this boy how to put away bibs and fold baby clothes

u two are young and u both have a lot of explaining to do to your own families, but they are supportive

they r more than happy to teach u two about children and giving tips on these things

blue nursery with lil teddy bears around and its just the cutest, props to room designer seungmin 🤓

baby boy is so stubborn, you’re past your due date and you both want him out

you two try a shit ton of things

name it all: pineapple, spicy foods, raspberry tea, daily walks around the block, literally everything

everything except for the obvious that had been recommended by your obgyn

sex.

both of you two hadn’t really explored in the topic of sex or anything of the sort, it was slightly awkward

you’re five days overdue now, which now you couldn’t even care

“please..! they said it works, even our ob said so!”

he is so cautious about this, but begrudgingly decides to proceed with this idea

he’s so sweet 🥺 but maybe a little too sweet because next thing you know is that two short hours later ur water breaks and u are in labor!!!!

both of you are vv nervous

his hyungs are right there to calm him down, asking you if ur okay and if u need anything

they rly adore their lil minnies baby mama & their lil nephew

seungmin is big daddy deffo

he’s so attached to u 🥺 it hurts to see u in so much pain and he can’t do much to take it away, but he will kiss ur forehead and wipe ur tears away

he personally finds u so angelic as u are quite literally coated in sweat and nearly breaking his hand

it’s finally over, you and seungmin both turning to the tiny baby that just came into the world, both of u crying while laughing at the beet red baby

theres your little baby boy in your arms, squirming at the new coldness and trying to move around in the blanket

all of the boys come in, excited to meet the baby

in amazement you made this adorable, small baby after one night

this experience was everything and more to you both, so glad you weren’t as careful one night and now had the greatest gift given to you: your small son who slept soundly in your arms

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hp-imagines-07 · 4 years

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Home

Sirius Black x Fem!Gryffindor!Reader

Universe: Harry Potter; The Marauders era

Type: PURE FLUFF, ok a bit angsty but really, nothing much

Summary: [y/n] had been overwhelming herself with plenty of stuff and Sirius just wants to help her because he loves her.

Request: yes|NO - pls send more requestssss

Prompt: xxx

Warnings: just cursing really

Song: xxx

Word Count: 1.3K (kinda of a blurb)

Posted: 15th of October 2020 - !PART OF 500 FOLLOWERS' CELEBRATION!

A/N: ok, i wanted to write a pure fluff one for Sirius and here it is!! it's not really big but i hope you like it bc it's just cringing fluff

My Others Accounts: @imagines-07 (Principal Account) | @obx-imagines-07 (Outer Banks) | @stit-imagines-07 (Stranger Things & IT) | @cm-imagines-07 (Criminal Minds) | @mcu-imagines-07 (Marvel Comics Universe)

MY MASTERLIST

!!hp-imagines-07's 500 FOLLOWERS CELEBRATION!!

As [y/n] felt her eyes heavy and starting to close as an instinct, she dropped her quill at the table and rubbed her eyes on the hardest way possible (without hurting herself, obviously) to take all the sleepiness far away from the bloody busy girl she has been being the last couple of weeks.

After a long breath, [y/n] grabbed the quill again and came back to the essay Slughorn had asked for everyone - except for his dearest students fucking dipshit - to the next class. Well, he had asked for this essay more than a week ago, but just as [y/n] started to read the book about the topic asked, the full moon got before she had time to think anything related to classes.

The Marauders never let her help them outside, so [y/n] would always wait for them at the common room, but this one was by far the worst of the year. Remus had transformed before they got to the safe place in the forest and where he couldn't come back to Hogwarts and attack people there, so they (basically James and Sirius, because Peter couldn't help much on his animagus form) had to contain him the farthest away from the castle, what caused a lot more bruises than the expected.

[y/n] first helped an almost-passing-out Remus, who couldn't remember what happened outside but was feeling so bad with himself that not even all of them made him feel a little bit better. Then, after Moony and Wormtail went to sleep, [y/n] helped James and Sirius with their worst bruises and cuts until the very late night.

Besides the fact that [y/n] was tutoring a third-year in Charms almost every day (because, oh, the little boy needed help with the new spells...), McGonnagal had been overwhelming her with Prefect duties. It wasn’t on purpose, Minerva just never thought that it was too much for her because [y/n] never said anything and always accepted any challenge.

But the girl was so overwhelmed…

The first one to notice was Marlene. She saw how [y/n] was barely getting any hours of sleep by being awake in the middle of the night plenty of times with the girl cursing under her breath while getting something wrong on the paper. Then Marlene talked to Lily, who is a heavy sleeper and didn't notice the missing hours of sleep from their best-friend.

After Marlene talked to Lily about [y/n], the red-headed started to notice the big bags under [y/n]'s eyes, the tiredness on her voice, how she dressed the first clothes that appeared in front of her, the way she was always looking so stressed over something that no one could point to…

Lily then, warned Sirius about how his girlfriend needed his help more than ever and she also told him to not ask her if she wanted his help to anything, because the fucking stubborn woman would never accept help from anyone else.

And when Sirius saw [y/n] almost crying with angriness over her essay at the other side of the common room, he knew that was the moment he should act as the perfect boyfriend he was and help his love. Ignoring all the questioning looks the other three Marauders sent on his way by suddenly getting up and forgetting all about the prank they were planing on a few Slytherins, Sirius got up from the chair he was sitting at and walked in the direction of [y/n].

As the girl started to write again with her quill and the harder part being to keep her eyes open, Sirius sat on the chair beside her making [y/n] jump in surprise. "My God..." She muttered with her hand above her heart and trying to calm it down.

"Sorry for the little scare, love," Sirius said and grabbed [y/n]'s quill from her hand and closed her book before she could even protest. "but now, I'm taking you to bed..." Sirius started putting all [y/n]'s belongings on her bag while she tried to hold a few things back and protest with him, but Sirius wouldn't just give up.

Just when he had finished, Sirius began listening to her. "What the fuck, Sirius?!" The girl said furiously at her boyfriend, that gulped with her angry expression. "I need to finish this essay today! What do you think you're doing?" Sirius didn't give himself the work to answer all the questions she was throwing at him, but just threw her over his shoulder instead. "Sirius Orion Black put me down right now! I swear I'm gonna kill you, you bastard!" [y/n] screamed at him, while struggling to make him put her back down.

"[y/n] [y/l/n], shut up and let me take care of you." He simply said and she just groaned out in frustration, [y/n/n] knew that whatever she did to make him put her down wouldn't work, and just let him take her to wherever Sirius wanted for her to be.

Sirius started to walk towards the girls’ dormitory but just as he stepped his foot, the stairs became a slider and he found himself being grateful that he wouldn't be able to take [y/n] to her dorm, where there were plenty of tired girls already sleeping. So he turned around and walked upstairs to his still empty dorm with [y/n] over his left shoulder and her bag over his right one.

The first thing he did after passing through his door was to put [y/n] down. "Thank God, I was becoming nauseated on that position..." She muttered under her breath when her feet touched the floor. "Why did you bring me here, Sirius?" [y/n] asked with a monotonous tone and sat at his bed, knowing that he wouldn't give [y/n]'s bag back to her.

"You need to rest my love..." He started while walking to his bed and standing in front of her but just as his girlfriend was going to protest with him, he continued. "Don't worry about your Potions essay, I'll finish that for you tomorrow while you take care of the tasks Minnie gave you… Just don't worry, ok?" Sirius asked with both of his hands on [y/n]'s cheeks, making her look at him right in the eyes and she softly nodded at him, already feeling her eyes heavy with his caring and loving touch.

In a matter of minutes [y/n] was wearing just one of Sirius' favourite muggle-band shirt and sleep shorts and Sirius was getting ready to bed with her.

Both of them laid on his bed, under the warm and comfy blankets and held each other as close as they could. "How long has it been that we didn't do this?" Sirius muttered with closed eyes and sleepy voice.

"I don't know… But I'm never letting you go again." [y/n] whispered back against his neck and softly sighed. "It feels like it's been years since I got relaxed like this for the last time..."

Sirius just hummed back at her, but too focused on her touch to care. [y/n]'s body was laying above his, with their legs tangled together, her head buried on the crook of his neck, his nose feeling her scent coming from her hair, her soft hands resting on his bare shoulders and his hands under her (his) shirt caressing her back.

"I love you." "I love you, my love."

[y/n] fell asleep in a question of seconds while Sirius was trying to memorize this feeling of their bodies pressed against each other.

It was in moments like this that Sirius knew that home wasn't a place where you lived and it was comfortable, home was a person who you can always ask for help when needed and it doesn't matter where you'll feel like you're home.

[y/n] is Sirius' home and he couldn't be more grateful to be hers.

☽☾☽☾☽☾☽☾☽☾☽☾☽☾☽☾☽☾☽☾

Taglist:

@cheapglitter @Weasleysmuch @missmulti @writtenbypics @littlemaladaptivedaydreamer @dralf0yy @buff-bork @rd155 @seppys-return-to-madness @luciferedits @old-soul-young-mind @pxtrickhxckstettxr @sleep-i-ness @marauderswhisperer @liberty01 @gweaslvy @weasleytwins-41 @siriuslysirius07 @turtlepad @ilovewinter101 @monimillion @simonsbluee @smokey102 @aberette13 @yourbloodyqueen @loverboyreid @eeshea @susceptible-but-siriusexual @weareloserstogether

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deanwanddamons · 3 years

Text

1st Blogiversary and 2K follower celebration

Thank you to everyone who has got me to 2K followers. I only started this blog a year ago, and started writing at the same time, so I am overwhelmed by this! I have had so much love and support it’s unreal and have made some amazing friends along the way ❤️

So to celebrate, I have decided to go with ‘famous lines from films’ prompts.

These are some of the most famous lines from classic movies and I would like you to use the words as the basis of your fic. If you want to base the fic on the actual movie, that’s fine, but you don’t have to. It can be completely different if you wish.

It can be angsty, smutty, fluffy, smangsty, flangsty it’s up to you, but MUST be inspired by just this one line. It doesn’t matter if you’re familiar with the film or not. If you are then awesome, if you are not then it will be interesting to see your interpretation of it out of context.

As an added bonus and to make it a little bit more fun, when I reblog and comment on your submission, it won’t be me commenting, it will be Dean! I got this idea from the lovely @crashdevlin who was very happy that she had inspired me.

Banner created by the wonderful @winchest09 💗

Rules below the cut:

You must be following me to enter.

A signal boost would be marvellous.

There are 30 prompts in total and TWO people can have each prompt. Please send me an ask to claim your choice. I’d rather an ask than a DM as it will be easier to keep track.

I would prefer all fics to be reader insert, but OC’s are also welcome.

There’s no minimum word count, but there’s a max of 5K.

If your fic is more than 500 words please use the keep reading tab.

I will accept any and all smut except age play, non con and toilet stuff, so PLEASE tag accordingly.

You can write for any SPN character(s) (or actors/actresses) but I would prefer Dean or Sam/Jensen or Jared as the main protagonist. You can, of course, include any of the other characters in the story.

Any pairings are welcome but I do not read Destiel or Wincest. (No disrespect, but neither are really my thing, I’m sorry).

You can combine your fic with other challenges, bingos and requests if you wish.

Tag your work with the hashtag #deanwanddamons2Kcelebration and tag me in the author’s notes.

There’s no real deadline, but if you want to be included in the masterlist then I’ll be creating this on 1st February 2021, so please post before then.

If I haven’t reblogged your fic within 48 hours please message me. I am very chatty, so if you want to message me at anytime please do 😀

I reserve the right to not reblog any fic I read that I find offensive, does not abide by the rules I have set out here, or does not have adequate warnings.

My ask box and DM’s are always open so if you have any questions, please feel free to contact me.

Prompts:

“I’m going to give you the choice I never had” - Interview With The Vampire - @themrsdeanwinchester

“Don’t tell the elf” - Lord of the Rings - @justagirlinafandomworld @little-diable

“Frankly my dear, I don’t give a damn” - Gone With The Wind - @msmarvelouswinchester @ophelialoveshandsomemen

“Just when I thought I was out, they pull me back in” - The Godfather - @wingedcatninja @katelynw93

“I'm just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love her" - Notting Hill - @qveenmikaelson @tvdspngirl314

"There's no place like home" - Wizard of Oz - @missjenniferb

"Darling it's better, down where it's wetter" - The Little Mermaid - @wonder-cole @herstarburststories

“Play it again Sam” - Casablanca - @mishkatelwarriorgoddess

“I see dead people” - Sixth Sense - @jensengirl83 @soaringeag1e

“Life's like a box of chocolates” - Forrest Gump - @440mxs-wife

“This house is clean” - Poltergeist

“I’m the king of the world” - Titanic

"I am a Librarian!" - The Mummy - @winchest09

“Call that a knife? This is a knife” - Crocodile Dundee @cajunquandary

“Show me the money” - Jerry Maguire

“You can’t handle the truth” - A Few Good Men - @jensenswinchester

“And most of all, I’m scared of walking out of this room and never feeling the rest of my whole life the way I feel when I’m with you.” - Dirty Dancing - @a-winchester-fairytale @waywardbaby

“I’m gonna make him an offer he can’t refuse” - The Godfather @downanddirtydean

“Go ahead. Make my day” - Sudden Impact - @smol-and-grumpy

“This one goes to eleven” - Spinal Tap

“You had me at hello” - Jerry Maguire - @jawritter

“Say hello to my little friend” - Scarface

“I feel the need; The need for speed” - Top Gun - @waywardnerd67

“Why so serious?” - The Dark Knight - @anaelsbrunette

“Love means never having to say you’re sorry” - Love Story

“To me, you are perfect” - Love Actually @unnuevosoltransformalarealidad @thinkinghardhardlythinking

“I wish I knew how to quit you” - Brookback Mountain - @stiles-o-dylan24 @calaofnoldor

“We’re gonna need a bigger boat” - Jaws

“I just wanted to take another look at you” - A Star Is Born - @deanwinchesterswitch @deangirl93

“I want to play a game” - Saw - @chocolateheart @there-must-be-a-lock

Tagging those who may be interested - @winchest09 / @katehuntington / @jensengirl83 / @deangirl93 / @whatareyousearchingfordean / @msmarvelouswinchester / @smol-and-grumpy / @janicho88 / @deanwinchesterswitch / @ladywinchester1967 / @flamencodiva / @ellewritesfix05 / @muchamusedaboutnothing / @deans-baby-momma / @magssteenkamp / @jawritter / @waywardbaby / @chocolateheart / @jay-and-dean / @superfanficnatural / @waywardbeanie / @katymacsupernatural / @holylulusworld / @atc74 / @kickingitwithkirk / @amanda-teaches / @soaringeag1e

#supernatural #supernatural fanfiction #1st anniversary #dean winchester #sam winchester #Jensen Ackles #Jared Padalecki #deanwanddamons2kcelebration

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a-crimson-lion · 4 years

Text

“It Makes Me Wanna Keep Him At Arm’s Length” An Overview On Katsuki Bakugo’s Development

[I should by no means be the one writing this analysis, but here we are. Obviously it’s an overview on Katsuki’s character development, but there’s a bit more to it than that. Keep reading if you want the details.]

Table of Contents

i) Prologue

I) A Brief Explanation

II) The “What The F*** Is Your Existence” Phase

II.A) Breaking The Barriers

III) The “I Can’t Let You Get Ahead Of Me” Phase

IV) The “Why Don’t You Care About Yourself” Phase

V) Final Address+Conclusion

Word Count: 4415

[Warning: Contains manga spoilers up to Ch. 284. Will also include spoilers for the movies and OVAs, as well as the special Deku & Bakugo: Rising two-shot manga. Reader’s discretion is advised. Not scared off yet? Good. Let’s do this.]

i) Prologue

Alright, no beating around the bush, I guess.

We all know this has to deal with Ch. 284, and the milestone that came with it. We got a rare look inside Katsuki’s perspective, and we saw firsthand how much his perspective has changed from the start of the story. I don’t think we’ve ever gotten such an in-depth look into Katsuki’s psyche since Deku vs Kacchan 2. It’s honestly impressive.

...which is why I’m so confused by a certain kind of response to it.

When you look past the swarms of tumblr posts absolutely losing their s*** over Katsuki getting further character development, you come across an… admittedly troubling response. The idea that “Katsuki always cared.” The idea that as early as the Battle Trial, if not middle school, Katsuki was secretly keeping an eye out for Izuku in their tumultuous relationship.

...no. Just-. No, what the-

I’ll get to why this particular response pisses me off in a bit, but before that, I wanna give a run down of Katsuki’s development, according to the narrative. Anyone who’s been around my blog long enough knows that I don’t exactly hold Katsuki in good graces. (Pretty much the opposite, actually.) However, in light of recent developments, that’s not what this post is gonna be focusing on. And as such, I’ll keep the snark and branch conversations to a minimum… to the best of my abilities.

So… how are we gonna do this?

I) A Brief Explanation

After we finish this brief “tutorial” section, the next three segments of the post will cover the various time frames of Katsuki’s development. I’ll be going through a general rundown of Katsuki’s perspective and the various evidence points that lead me to my conclusions. It’s essentially a glorified retelling. Sound good? Alrighty then!

II) The “What The F*** Is Your Existence” Phase

Time Frame: Ch. 1-Ch. 116 [Sludge Villain Arc-Late Provisional Hero License Exam Arc]

In case the Prologue didn’t make things clear, let me spell it out: Katsuki didn’t always care.

At least, he didn’t “always care” in the positive sense.

To clarify, this isn’t just 3rd Year Middle School Katsuki to UA Katsuki. This is all the way back to the River Incident. Katsuki has had this mentality for that long and then some when you shift out of backstory territory. We’re talking about the same kid who nearly murdered Izuku in the Battle Trial, blasted Izuku to kingdom come in the Training of the Dead OVA, and decked Izuku during the Final Exams. So…

The following hinges majorly on the line Katsuki stated in Chapter 284, and the title of this analysis: “It makes me wanna keep him at arm’s length.” Contrary to popular belief, this does not just apply to the idea that Katsuki wants to stick around Izuku to keep him from destroying himself.

...it’s also a major contributor to the reason Katsuki bullied Izuku in the past.

So let’s backtrack to the River incident. Katsuki takes one wrong step on a log, slips, and falls down into the river below. Izuku is the only one that goes down to help him. This infuriates Katsuki because he was fine, as was said by him and everyone but Izuku that was present that day. This is also the first time Katsuki becomes aware of something he echoes in the Ch. 284 flashback:

“He just… Deep down, he doesn’t take himself into account, y’know?”

This is Katsuki’s first run in with Izuku’s inherent selflessness. Initially, he takes it as pity; in his words, Izuku is “looking down on him.” And this bothers him a great deal. Then when it comes to Quirks, Katsuki gets one and Izuku doesn’t. This assures Katsuki of something he shortly discovered previously: Izuku isn’t all that special.

It’s a brief comfort. Because Izuku hasn’t taken the damn hint and stopped hanging out with him and his friends. The Quirked kids. The normal kids.

And worst still, he’s willing to get in Katsuki’s way just because someone else is in his line of fire. In the back of his mind, it’s the River Incident all over again, though he’s not being feared for; he’s being feared of. It’s all wrong. Deku isn’t strong like the rest of them. Deku can’t be a hero. Deku knows that.

...he knows that he doesn’t stand a chance, right? He knows how the world really works. Is he… is he putting on an act?

One of the few remarkable traits Katsuki has right from the get-go is his disdain against dishonesty. So, when he sees Izuku putting on a brave face and acting like a hero, and Katsuki decides that Izuku’s just “pretending,” Katsuki takes the matter into his own hands. He’ll get Izuku to show his true colors in due time. That’s what heroes do, right? Take down the bad guys? And Izuku faking about caring for others when everyone else clearly puts themselves first and foremost sounds pretty bad guy-like, at least at the time.

So, Izuku keeps on trucking, occasionally trying to join back up with Katsuki’s group on a near frequent basis. Even when that fails, he tries his damnedest to catch up.

But what many people forget is that at some point, Izuku stopped following, at least actively.

By Chapter 1, he’s making sure to keep from drawing attention to himself. He’s not as enthusiastic as everyone else in the class, he tries backing away from Katsuki and shrinking down on himself, tries defusing the situation. That doesn’t sound like Izuku’s still trying to keep up. Even in the special two-shot manga dedicated to Heroes: Rising, Izuku isn’t the one to draw attention to Katsuki’s presence. And even when he does go after Katsuki and the villain, his attention is more so focused on the villain, thoughts of staying out of Katsuki’s way to not offend him likely somewhere in his mind.

So then why does Katsuki keep antagonizing him in the first chapter of canon proper? And even before that, most likely?

“It makes me wanna keep him at arm’s length.”

...Izuku didn’t stop being Izuku. Izuku didn’t stop being selfless.

And his selflessness is what pisses Katsuki off to no end. So, he keeps pursuing Izuku, keeps trying to get him to “drop the act.” Makes him a “punching bag,” as Izuku states in Chapter 8. Because the way things work, Izuku should not be trying to be a hero. He should not be trying to put on a brave face when he’s scared s***less. He should not be sticking his neck out for others when he doesn’t (or rather, didn’t) have anything to stick up for himself.

Katsuki was born with something that made everyone consider him prime hero material. Izuku was born without that, and was considered the opposite… and yet, he still tries.

And this character trait, this selflessness, it drives Katsuki insane. And it continues to do so well beyond the Battle Trial Arc. Even when Katsuki is able to begrudgingly accept that Quirkless Deku has a Quirk now, somehow, his selflessness continues to bring Katsuki grief. While it’s never inherently brought up, this is the dividing factor between Izuku’s fight against Shoto in the Sport’s Festival and Katsuki’s fight with Shoto in the Sport’s Festival.

Izuku was willing to go all out at the cost of himself just so Shoto could accept what was his. Katsuki just wanted a good brawl, to be the undisputed first place.

This even continues well into the Final Exams, though the fact that Katsuki is running high on arrogance and anger does nothing to soothe matters. It takes a deck to face and later an explosive kabedon wall smash to get Izuku and Katsuki working together, and let’s not forget that when Izuku was trying to get Katsuki to realize they were still fighting All Might, regardless of whatever handicaps he may or may not have, he gets decked in the nose for his efforts. While it’s technically a subtler play on Izuku’s selflessness and concern for others, Katsuki likely took it as further mockery, another attempt for Deku to try and get under his skin and throw him off.

In any case, throughout this time period, Katsuki cares f*** all for Izuku or his philosophy, opting to brute force things up until the very end of the time frame. But what causes the eventual shift?

II.A) Breaking The Barriers

A number of things, actually.

None of the proceeding events ever do a clean cut on Katsuki’s worldview. It’s more like chiseling through a wall than breaking it down with a hammer.

The Sludge Villain is the first hint that Izuku might not be faking and Katsuki might not be at the top. While many claim that Katsuki leaves Izuku alone because he feels indebted to him but doesn’t want to admit it, it’s more than likely that he’s more focused on his own self-loathing. This incident is what defines him for a good chunk of the series, to his chagrin.

The Battle Trial is just another nail in the eventual coffin. Katsuki thinks he’s finally got Izuku right where he wants him, only for Izuku to pull a 500 IQ play and prioritize the exercise over his and Katsuki’s squabbles, taking the brunt of Katsuki’s attack and attention while giving Ochako the opportunity to capture the bomb. That look of frustration is Katsuki realizing that not only did Izuku get ahead, he got ahead with the very thing Katsuki despises. Needless to say, it f***s with him well until the aftermath outside of UA’s gate.

Shoto refusing to use his flames is another chip off the marble that is Katsuki’s pride. It reinforces the idea that Izuku is doing something that Katsuki isn’t, something that Izuku shouldn’t have in the first place, beyond a Quirk at least. So, Katsuki rages, because he can’t understand why it’s such a big deal, in both Izuku’s and Shoto’s cases.

The Final Exams just hammer the point home further. Katsuki’s one-track minded attempts to bring down All Might are met with no results. He would have failed that exam if it wasn’t for Izuku’s selflessness or Katsuki “lowering himself” to cooperate with him. Had Katsuki not gotten decked in the face and dragged off or got saved at the last minute while he was knocked out, he definitely would have failed on account of becoming a liability.

The Training Camp attack is an odd mix of Katsuki’s current philosophy and the next stage in it. He knows Izuku’s gonna go and save his ass, and he wants no part of that because hasn’t he made him suffer enough already? Hasn’t he already proved time and time again that he’s getting better, despite the fact that Katsuki doesn’t want or believe it? Despite the fact that it shouldn’t even be happening if things were right in the world? Izuku does recognize Katsuki’s wounded pride, however, which is instrumental in getting him out of All For One’s clutches during Kamino.

If we briefly direct our attention to the Make It! Do-Or-Die Survival Training! OVA, Katsuki is pretty adamant on claiming he only got the power back on in the underground mall to complete the exercise. And I don’t think that’s Katsuki’s “tsundere” talking, either: I genuinely believe that Katsuki’s only thoughts at the moment was getting the exercise done. Everyone else was just secondary. And remember, Katsuki hates dishonesty, which is probably why he doesn’t take credit for “saving” Izuku and Shoto. While his actions did save the two of them and everyone else in the mall, that wasn’t his intention, which is an interesting flip on Izuku’s performance back in the Battle Trial. Couple that with the fact that Katsuki is injured (and therefore weak, and in need of help), and it’s no wonder he’s in a sour mood towards the end of it all.

And this sour mood carries over to the final nail in his coffin: the Provisional License Exam. He only gets by the first half because other people had the sense to tag along, but the second half regards his undoing because he still doesn’t get the whole selfless aspect of saving people in the second half of the exam. This was also foreshadowed back in the aforementioned OVA with Katsuki’s excessive animosity towards the victim dummy. Whether they be real or fake, Katsuki’s disregard of either victim doesn’t grant him his hero license.

This is the straw that breaks the camel's back for Katsuki. And ultimately, this sparks the start in his shift to the second phase of his development.

III) The “I Can’t Let You Get Ahead Of Me” Phase

Time Frame: Ch. 117-~Ch. 257 [Late Provisional Hero License Exam Arc-Early Paranormal Liberation War Arc]

Since this is only the second phase of Katsuki’s development (and given that this is Katsuki we’re talking about), don’t expect to get much of an upgrade with this shift.

Essentially, it boils down to two things: Katsuki stops viewing Izuku as an annoyance, and starts viewing him as an obstacle. Simultaneously, he starts seeing the viability of saving, at least as a tool in a hero’s kit.

Let me explain.

While Deku vs Kacchan 2 is the first time Izuku and Katsuki have attempted to talk out their issues… not much gets addressed. Sure, Katsuki becomes aware of Izuku not looking down on him, but Izuku is never made aware of the deeper issues regarding Katsuki’s loathing beyond that. It primarily serves as a half-barebones narrative checkpoint, a segway for Katsuki to get in on the secret of One For All.

...let’s also talk about that, shall we?

So Izuku’s been getting better as a hero and with his Quirk. Then Katsuki finds out after he gets kidnapped and rescued that Izuku is the successor to their mutual idol. And that’s after essentially being told he can’t be a hero in his current state due to the PLE. And what is his usual response to adversity? He decides to get ahead of it.

He’ll surpass Class 1-A so there won’t be another Battle Trial. He’ll surpass Izuku and One For All so he can truly claim that he’s the best of the best.

Unfortunately, we don’t get to see more of this development until the Joint Training Arc. However, keep in mind that this is only the second stage. Katsuki wants to prove that he’s the best, so of course he’s gonna step up his game. That means taking advice from the LITERAL (former) #1 HERO, and making the victory as flawless as possible. After all, Katsuki himself said in Chapter 208:

“I’ve decided! We’re gonna win this match with a perfect victory! 4-0, with everyone unscathed! That’s the kind of victory there is for the strongest guys out there!”

...it might be a slight exaggeration when he says he’s hardly changed at the end of that chapter, but then again it is a stretch to even call it an exaggeration.

That aside, Katsuki also makes it part of his agenda to keep tabs on OFA. This would fit into the “Katsuki secretly cares” agenda, but we haven’t reached that point. Right now, in these moments, Katsuki figures that if One For All starts getting freaky, he wants to know about it so he can get a leg up. And maybe part of him still wants to call Izuku out.

He was minorly ticked when Izuku allowed himself to make a mistake during their unauthorized fight. And he constantly reminds Izuku to not forget that he’s supposed to surpass him (or the other way around).

Taking off the rose-colored glasses for a moment, it does make sense for Katsuki to say this beyond the context of positive motivation. We are talking about the same Katsuki who lashed out at Shoto for holding back. It’s reasonable to assume that he doesn’t want Izuku to do the same, and lagging behind more or less equates to holding back.

And Katsuki still isn’t completely invested in Izuku’s training for Izuku’s sake. After the Joint Training, Katsuki tries getting Izuku to manifest Black Whip again, and nopes out shortly afterwards when nothing comes of their sparring sessions in Chapter 217. This still isn’t the Katsuki we see in the 284 flashback. He’s still got a ways to go.

Yes, this even rings true for Katsuki during Heroes: Rising. While the film might be the ultimate Bakudeku dream come true, there really isn’t… much depth in regards to Izuku and Katsuki’s past. Y’know, the thing that most people are hoping gets resolved? It only gets referenced a few times in the film, but doesn’t overall factor into anything meaningful. Most of the time when Izuku and Katsuki team up, Katsuki only gets to the fight because he wants to throw hands with villains on an island where (if the status quo had remained unchanged) was likely selected because it had little to no serious villain activity. It just so happens that protecting and working with Izuku is an unintended byproduct of these fights. Katsuki even drops the infamous “lowering myself to work with Deku” line just before the big climax. And even with the transfer of OFA to Katsuki, it strikes less as overcoming a longstanding obstacle and more as plot convenience, especially since by the end of the fight OFA nopes back into Izuku so hard that Katsuki gets mind wiped about the whole thing.

Even during the Endeavor Arc, we don’t see much growth beyond the Ending fight, where Katsuki prioritizes saving Natsuo over throwing hands like he usually would, learning to take saving as more than a tool. This is significant considering it’s Katsuki, but unfortunately, there’s not much else thereafter. The entire arc won’t get referenced as an overall stepping stone until Ch. 284.

And thus, we head to the final phase.

IV) The “Why Don’t You Care About Yourself” Phase

Time Frame: ~Ch. 257-Ch. 284 [Early Paranormal Liberation War Arc-Paranormal Liberation War Arc (Present)]

So here’s an interesting tidbit: Katsuki can’t handle nonphysical confrontation.

Leave him with the fact that his kidnapping could have gotten most of the class expelled because they decided to go rescue him or avoided such while knowing of the operation? He’ll pay back Eijiro for the expensive night vision goggles and make Denki suffer Quirk overuse so he doesn’t need to be reminded.

Get stuck in the middle of a Todoroki Family Drama scene? He’ll try bragging about how he did better than the current #1 Hero to attempt curbing off the situation.

Put him in a discussion with Izuku where they address his additional Quirk manifestations and the full weight of his potential/legacy? Katsuki will brag about having a skill already in his toolkit to ignore the fact that he has the potential to fall behind.

This defines the earlier days of this phase. We don’t see what happens in the timeframe between that and the start of the War Arc until the Chapter 284 flashback. I believe that during the gap between 257 and this flashback, Katsuki allowed himself to process the full weight of what he and Izuku were told during that meeting.

And this marks one of his biggest revelations to date.

Izuku’s selflessness is no longer something annoying. It’s a potential fatal flaw.

For the first time, it’s hitting Katsuki that Izuku is no longer an obstacle, or just an obstacle. Izuku is a person who is working himself to the bone and past that, who would die at the drop of the hat if he thought the payoff was well worth it. He’s finally starting to see that what Izuku is doing to himself is dangerous, and he wants to know what he can do to prevent the serious ramifications.

This is a big phase in his development, no doubt, but um… it’s not the last phase.

If I’m being honest, we’re nowhere close. Why? Well, two reasons:

A) Katsuki still has yet to properly take a loss.

Any and all of Katsuki’s losses are either in his head or narratively negated. And his disproportionate win/loss ratio doesn’t do him any favors either. He’s culminated a philosophy that he can’t and shouldn’t lose, but losing is a crucial aspect of improvement and being human in general. In the case of the story, Chapter 275 suggests that Katsuki wants to face off against Tomura as payback for Kamino. He essentially wants to extend the narrative and treat that loss like a delayed win, as if the loss hadn’t happened yet. Many people claim that this is a bluff he used to cover his true intentions of keeping an eye on Izuku, but I don’t think that’s the case. While sticking by Izuku is a contributing factor, getting a win is equally so, because Katsuki hasn’t properly adjusted to a loss. His strategy for dealing with any kind of loss is just to bulldoze through it like nothing happened, instead of taking the time to understand why he lost and to apply that knowledge for future encounters.

Be aware of your surroundings during the Sludge Villain.

Focus on your priorities and communicate with others during the Battle Trial.

Don’t ignore the situation just to focus on your own intentions during the Training Camp attack.

HELP PEOPLE during the Provisional License Exam.

There are so many lessons Katsuki could have learned sooner if he had taken the time to properly digest his losses. But he didn’t. He still doesn’t. He might have learned some of them eventually, but the fact remains that he nearly ran head first into a suicide mission just because he couldn’t take the loss and was dead set on getting even.

And keep in mind, Katsuki was lamenting on struggling to keep up with Izuku earlier before their encounter with Tomura, and how he couldn’t afford to stay a loser, so this is likely less far-fetched than you think.

Okay, so then what’s the second reason Katsuki’s development is far from over?

B) He hasn’t fully connected the dots on what he did to Izuku.

So far, Katsuki has recognized that he was off-put by Izuku’s selflessness, and that he bullied him over that.

What he hasn’t recognized is how much of a role he played personally in that part of Izuku’s personality, or at least it’s present day incarnation.

Let me clarify a bit. Katsuki is aware that he was distrubed by Izuku’s selflessness. He is aware that bullied him and that, at some degree, was wrong. But I don’t think he’s quite connected the dots on how his intervention has led to Izuku’s current brand of martyrdom.

At the start of the series, Izuku just cares about others. After making sure he gets down to the river safely, he’s willing to lend a hand to Katsuki, who fell from a pretty concerning height ig we’re being honest.

But this unnerves Katsuki. And it leads to his physical altercations with Izuku from time to time.

Remember, Izuku followed Katsuki at the time, but somewhere down the line he stopped. But he never stopped being Izuku, so Katsuki continued to pursue him. Izuku had already been willing to give up in some degree on ever keeping up with Katsuki the way he used to. He knew, at some level, that he wasn’t accepted.

That he wasn’t worth as much as everyone else.

Katsuki bullied Izuku because he was selfless. But Katsuki’s bullying, coupled with the rest of society’s ostracization, twisted and warped that selflessness with low self-esteem, low self-worth, and self-destructive tendencies. Katsuki wasn’t the sole bully of Izuku, but he was a primary perpetrator. And his actions only made the very thing he despised so, so much worse.

...and until he can recognize THAT aspect of his relationship with Izuku, his journey is far from over.

So yeah, Katsuki’s making progress, but we’re still not out of the woods yet.

V) Final Address+Conclusion

So now for the obvious question: why did I write all of this?

I said it at the beginning, about how some people claimed that Katsuki cared all along. I brought up a bit about how it pissed me off. Why, exactly?

Because when people insist that Katsuki threatening Izuku to not go to UA comes from a place of concern, they disregard Chapter 1 Katsuki’s gigantic ego and utter disregard for others, much less so for Izuku.

Because when people insist that Katsuki’s shocked face at the end of the Battle Trial was because he was upset with how he hurt Izuku, they disregard the fact that Katsuki was willing to almost murder Izuku, and if not that then brutalize him, and that at this point Katsuki absolutely loathes getting shown up, which is what Izuku inadvertently did.

Because when people insist that Katsuki always cared from the very beginning, they (un)intentionally undermine one of the few things that draw people to Katsuki’s character: his character development.

On his own, Katsuki is an prodigious, antisocial and angry teen looking for fame and fortune in the industry who grows into a dedicated source of confidence and understanding as he finally allows himself to branch beyond his initial handicaps. If you insist that Katsuki always had the awareness and concern he displayed in 284’s flashback, what do you get instead?

A selfish, self-centered, fickle, emotionally-constipated asshole whose growth is more comparable to a ramp instead of a mountain.

...not as impressive, is it?

While I’m pretty sure this is just a minor trend, that doesn’t excuse the lack of care it demonstrates. If you aren’t willing to admit and live with the fact that Day 1 Katsuki is the worst of the worst and that he did progressively get better through trials and tribulation, why bother? When you insist a character like Katsuki was fine from the start, you take away part of what makes that character so endearing. If they were never an ass to begin with, then what the hell was their problem at the start, or even now? Why the hell would we condone that? It’s important to recognize character flaws and to give them their due, because seeing a character grown out of them is far more self-fulfilling and relatable than insisting that they were always in the right place from the start.

...but then again, that’s just me. Thanks for reading.

-Crimson Lion (20 September 2020)

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iampikachuhearmeroar · 3 years

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y’know the wildest thing still to happen to me on this hellsite was my first experience of sexting, sans nudes, that was done in front of at least 250-500 followers because of those horny anons i had in early 2013 when i was 17. instead of being exposed to it on my phone privately with a partner at that age, it was done publicly for the internet to see lmao. i remember begging the anons to stop and “come off anon” because i was “losing followers” at the time too bc i was so insecure about my follower count lmao. and then yeah when they came off anon they were both 28 years old.

to write the responses, i just consulted cosmo mag sex pages for ideas hoping that the anons would like the options i chose. in one i detailed doing anal- a sex act i hadn’t even done yet irl- let alone every other thing i suggested in them (head, idek long, drawn out foreplay, some stupid fancy sex moves that cosmo was all like “use these moves to spice up your sex life 🔥🔥”, sex in a bath, i’m pretty sure i had some lines about tying or handcuffing them to a bed (????) etc etc etc)….

when again, i had never even done any of those above sex acts in real life. i was a naive teen who was incredibly shy in regards towards her love life because she’d “never been kissed” and had never had the “hot emo boyfriend whose in a band and is covered in tattoos” she’d always wanted, let alone even a boyfriend that she had actually fucking liked (ie clear braces boy, for like a month in year 9/2010 vs the popular boys that made fun of her, that she always had unrequited crushes on)…. hell, my blog title when i first started on here in 2011 was “the perfect epitome of being forever alone” because of these very reasons. but here she was, writing explicit sex acts to strangers like she knew what the fuck she was doing, to an audience of 250-500 people- and then to fucking grown ass men in inboxes. i was just parroting the shit i’d read in cosmo (both sex advice and sometimes excerpts of erotica/“sexy, steamy reads” they had some months) and also heard repeatedly in the porn that my high school stalker/creeper at public school loved to show (harass) me with to flirt with me, whenever we were alone together at school in 2012/2013.

like you could tell how naive i was….. because i used ridiculous lines like “like a gentleman entranced, you lead me to the bath for our next foray” and dumbass prose-y things like that. because what the fuck does that even mean 😂😅????

and this is why i think minors should be careful with their online experiences. like yeah, you could say that i wasn’t a minor anymore- more of a “young adult”- who should of made the smart decision to not engage with these anons. but i was a kid. i thought it was fun. and when the dudes came off anon, i thought to myself “it’s not like i’m ever gonna meet them if i ever go to the US or puerto rico at any point. it’s not like that they’ll ever recognise me in person or ever reach out to me again in the future. i might as well do it.” and i did eventually end up ignoring the guys in my inbox, due to my mental health kinda plummeting from the middle til the end of 2013 because of my end of high school exams and stuff… and also the puerto rican guy’s infamously inappropriate “hot PE teacher fucks HOT female high school student in the girls change room showers” fantasy which fucking disgusted me, when he full well knew that i was STILL IN high school.

and obviously again, there’s the point about using the “block” button function. but as i’ve stated several times over my years on here, back in my early days of tumblr, i never wanted to block or unfollow people (even if they were trash like these two men), because it seemed so “mean” and “final”. obvs now i have no qualms about blocking people, and actively encourage younger people on here to use the block button with reckless abandon towards creepy people or people who can hurt them in some way. but to high school teenage me, the whole “using the block button” thing seemed to go against me being a “nice girl/person” so i never used it, no matter which social media platform i was on.

this is why i’m hella scared for young teen girls on tik tok wanting to have onlyfans accounts: because it’s where they’ll be exposed to ACTUAL CREEPS AND PREDATORS incredibly quickly; all because they can make money off selling images of just their feet or eventually their body….. depending on what these creepy strangers demand from them….. and they’ll feel like they’ll have to do it…. but to do it before you even start experimenting properly with relationships and sex is even worse. like. yeah. i’ve admitted before that i originally started this tumblr to possibly post nudes, to see if i’d get the positive feedback that i so desperately wanted/craved from the boys in my year at catholic school- eg. to be called “sexy”, “hot”, “fuckable” possibly “beautiful”- like some of the so called “popular girls” got on their hella basic bikini photos back then (like i remember one girl i knew ended up with like 500 likes and a fair amount of comments on one of her bikini pics and i was INCREDIBLY BITTER because not even a pic of me with a nice outfit on, my hair done and makeup on could EVER get those numbers, let alone even break over the double digits).

but i decided posting nudes or other explicit images on here was an absolute no go, because i realised that i never wanted people that i knew digging up barely clothed/naked pics of me and sending them to me all like “hey, is this you?” and then possibly mocking me, all because i would’ve been dumb enough to put my face in them probably at the time. now when i take nudes and send them, i never show my face. because i know now, that even in relationships, your partner can use nude pics as leverage for arguments or to abuse you in such a way that they’ll upload your pics without your knowledge to god knows where on the internet probably as a way to get back at you in a horrible breakup.

this is what i sincerely hope some young girls who ever contemplate starting onlyfans accounts take some time SERIOUSLY CONSIDER. please know that if you share shit on onlyfans, it can shared and re-shared (i think idek how OF works tbh) to god knows who- and eventually end up in the hands of people you know. i don’t fucking care if it’s a “good way to make money!” or if people think that im trying to stop teen girls from being “girl bosses” and the other dumb as fuck internet memes you want to throw at me. because this shit isn’t “haha internet meme funny” material. it’s some fucking serious stuff. and also, i’m not saying “don’t become a sex worker when you’re older” or whatever either. you’re free to make that choice when you’re in your 20s (no i even mean 17-19 year olds in this post as “young teen girls”- sorry you’re basically kids to me at almost 26). just please consider where the fuck your stuff can be shared to. who it can end up being shared with or to.

this is why i was so fucking adamant with my infamous old follower mr adelaide fuckboy/MAF that i personally would NOT consider becoming a camgirl for him or just generally… because i had no idea where the fuck my images or videos would end up. and do you know the places i’d never want them to fucking be??? in the hands of my high school stalker/creeper. in the hands of those two 28yo men from 2013 (who’d now be in there late 30s or early 40s). i absolutely don’t want them in the hands the mid-to-late 20s and early 30s men that that girl i met at public school in 2012 who was pissed that i didn’t believe that were “adults” because we were finally over the legal age of consent (16) in our state of australia, and so we were apparently fine to “fuck” literal grown ass men because “just fuck them and they’ll be nice to you!!” which i knew was fucking bullshit.

i absolutely don’t fucking want explicit videos/images of me ending up in “why the fuck won’t you let me give you “sex lessons” in the back of my car as a “favour” and as payment for teaching you how to drive you stupid, stuck up & frigid, virgin bitch!?” guy’s hands from 2014 (when i was 18/19 at the time and he was 25… he ended up being the first person of many i’d EVER block on social media lol). or i don't want them in the hands of those weird early 20s dudes (one of which was trying to set me up with his friend) who hit on me at 16/17 (2012) who were angry that i didn’t like and watch porn as much as they did…. and who promptly asked me at the end of their period of harassing of me: “do you know any sluts we could add?” because i kept refusing their suggestions etc.

hell, quite frankly i don’t even want them to go to mr adelaide fuckboy/MAF either, but the very few and far between nudes that i sent on snapchat to him back in 2016 are some nudes that i’d rather forget lmao. hell. i don’t even know if MAF ever deleted my nudes or shared them somewhere else or not, after he fucking wheedled them out of me with “i’ve followed you for 4 years, don’t be a shit! you owe me nudes!” so he’d just shut the fuck up about my social life decisions and leave me the fuck alone.

i don’t want ANY ONE of the guys i mentioned above to get their hands on photos of minors either…. because i definitely know my hs stalker/creeper would… because his fave “make her jealous” tactic that he’s always used on me is that “hey…. i’m dating a *insert teenage girl’s age here*! be fucking jealous that you don’t fucking have me and feel guilty that you won’t fuck me like this girl does!!!” just like he did in 2015, when i ran into him on the home from uni… when i turned 20 the next week and he turned 20 that december. at that time it was a 14yo girl he used as an example of him “dating”/“fucking” to make me jealous. instead, i was completely and utterly fucking disgusted. like any fucking sane and normal human being would/should be at that horrible age gap. that is literally a fucking child that he was fucking grooming. and we were literal adults. back the fuck away.

just please. PLEASE CONSIDER the types of people that trawl these kinds of sites and their intentions. please consider that you are young. very fucking young. you literally DO NOT need to upload nudes to the internet because it’s apparently a “lucrative” business. fuck the jokey “boss babe” rhetoric around it all the way to fucking hell.

because if you’re a minor: i do not want you to have your first experience of sexting or sending explicit images literally in front of god knows how many total strangers for the whole world to see (okay i know only fans is like subscriber/follower based or whatever. but i don’t care)…… even when you (depending how good you are with relationships etc) haven’t reached the common supposed milestones of your “first boyfriend/girlfriend/partner” or “first kiss” or have even “lost your virginity” (which isn’t real anyway- don’t buy this fucking bullshit)…. just like i stupidly did with my exposure to sexting here on my tumblr back in 2013. these people don’t/won’t give a flying fuck about your privacy or safety. they don’t/won’t give a fuck about your boundaries either.

please don’t possibly scar yourself for life, just because you’re being told that it’s a quick & convenient way to make some money for weirdos on the depths of the internet. you will regret it in future. just like i do now with mine. it should’ve been something personal between me and and a guy i trusted and liked at the time. not to some random 250-500 random strangers on this hellsite (okay the notes on these posts were literally single digits or non-existent, but still… and also some of my irl friends who had tumblr saw these posts as well) for a show….. and then privately with two 28yo literal grown ass men…. who should’ve been fucking hitting on women their own goddamned age and in their own countries and NOT a 17yo high school KID (at the time) from australia; who, now in her 20s, needs therapy to sort this shit out lmao. mind you they both reeled me in with the “you’re so mature for your age” bullshit line…. which i fell for a little bit, even if it did make me feel kinda gross at the time, too. don’t fall for that bullshit either.

#life #about me #shut up ilona #relationships i guess #internet stuff #this went in a bigger direction that i thought it would lmao #but anyway

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