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collecting-stories · 4 years

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Streetlight - JJ Maybank

Request: Could you do a reader x jj where she’s a shy bookworm kook with no friends, jj is doing some work at her house and she finds him intimidating, he’s curious about her. He sees her getting picked on somewhere by some other kooks and he protects her somehow and comforts her. I dunno something like that, your so good at writing I know you can make this so much better that how I explained it ahah

Outer Banks Masterlist

☮︎ ☮︎ ☮︎ ☮︎

The compromise was one night out doing normal teenage things to reassure your parents that you had friends and weren’t missing out on all the fun summer stuff people were supposedly doing this time of year and you could have the Grove Press first edition unrevised version of On The Road that someone was selling on ebay. It was a necessity, a collectible item that you would treasure for the rest of your life and it would look amazing in the glass cabinet that you’d gotten from ikea at the beginning of the year.

“One party and you can have the book.”

“I hate kook parties,” you tried to reason, eyes drifting passed your dad to the boy cutting your lawn. It was stupid and never in a million lightyears would anything ever happen but you had the smallest, tiniest, barely there crush on JJ Maybank, the pogue your dad hired to do odd jobs all summer. Clean the pool, mow the lawn, wash the cars, wash the boat, service the boat, service the cars, whatever he needed done JJ did it. For an extremely good deal, your dad definitely paid better than most. But you’d gotten used to seeing JJ around all summer. You hadn’t spoken to him but you knew of him and his friends. They threw epic parties.

“It’ll be fun.” Your dad replied.

The mower cut and JJ stopped to wipe his face on the shirt he’d taken off and hung over the handle of the mower. When he looked over your eyes went wide and you turned your attention back to your dad to pretend you weren’t just staring.

“It won’t be fun but fine.” You agreed. It was the only way to get that book and you wanted that book. The agreement was in place and your dad, satisfied with your decision to give into his compromise, switched gears from hassling you to focusing on lunch. He’d been claiming for the passed three days that he was in the mood for something pizza related but now he was debating between frozen pepperoni or frozen plain.

“Thoughts?” He asked, standing in front of the fridge, holding the two pizza boxes in hand.

You shrugged, “I don’t know, whatever you want?” You were working your way through a Whole Foods fruit salad and trying to organize your planner for the upcoming school year despite it only being the beginning of August.

Your dad nodded, laying them both down on the counter and turning the oven on to preheat before walking over to the French doors that lead out to the backyard.

“What are you doing?”

“Getting a second opinion.” He replied. He opened the door and shouted for JJ over the hum of the motor. When it finally cut out JJ turned to look at him, slightly startled.

“Yeah?”

“I’ve got some pizza for lunch, you want some?”

“Uh sure, is that okay?”

“Of course, I’m offering it.” Your dad replied, “should be a few more minutes, finish up and come on in.” He let the door close behind him as he walked back into the kitchen. You had turned in your seat to watch and you followed your dad’s movements back to the oven to put the pizzas in. “What? You complain about ‘kooks’, you don’t like those kids either.”

“No. I didn’t say anything.”

“He seems like a nice kid.”

“I’m sure he is.”

“He’s obviously not sitting at home alone all summer either.”

“I’m not sure what you want from me.” You replied, “don’t get in trouble but also you don’t have enough friends so find some’.”

“I just think you’re a great kid and people don’t get to see that. They think you’re snobby and rude when you don’t talk to them.”

“I’m not.” You insisted. You didn’t have a problem with JJ or his friends. It wasn’t that you didn’t talk to them because you thought you were above them. You just didn’t like talking to people.

“They don’t know that.”

“What happened to not catering to other people and their perception of me?”

“An important rule…one you’ve clearly mastered sitting here doing arts & crafts while other kids your age have jobs or go hang out with friends.” He pointed out.

“It’s my day planner. Sue me for wanting it to look nice.” You huffed.

The door opened and both of you looked over as JJ came in. You turned back around quickly and refocused your attention on copying out the class schedule you’d been emailed that morning to avoid looking at a shirtless JJ as your dad pointed him toward the bathroom to clean up for lunch.

“Schedule in being more sociable.” He teased.

“You’re so funny.”

JJ came back into the room and you sucked in a breath, already feeling like you were starting to clam up with him so close to you. Especially when he sat down beside you at the island. You pushed the plastic container of fruit more toward him, avoiding eye contact as you spoke.

“Fruit?” Not the most astounding of questions but you couldn’t help it, he always made you nervous.

The kook party was as awful as you had imagined it being in your head. People you suffered through at school crowded in the first floor of someone’s house while music blared through surround-sound speakers. The party overflowed to the pool and you managed to find a quiet spot away from everyone, sitting on a lounger reading by the light of a tiki torch that was a hazard without the gathering of rowdy, drunk, teens. Not everyone was a kook, you’d spotted JJ and his friends almost instantly, obviously here because of Sarah and Kiara but you ignored all of them in favour of finishing the book you’d been working your way through for the last week and a half. An biographical look at the life of JD Salinger through the eyes of his daughter, you’d been more than thrilled when you managed it find it at the little bookshop on the island. Better than having to go to the mainland and suffer through the idiots that worked at the only Barnes & Noble in a 25 mile radius. You’d been making headway too when the book was pulled out of your hands and someone yanked you out of your seat.

“Hey! Give me that back!” You tried to pull away from the person holding you but you couldn’t get loose. As you struggled Scarlett flipped through the first couple of pages in the book, pretending to read it.

“What is this dumb trash anyway? Dreamcatcher?” She laughed.

“Just give it back Scarlett!” You insisted, pulling against her boyfriend once more. Other kooks had gotten wind of what was happening and stopped to watch.

“You shouldn’t bring books anyway…accidents are bound to happen.” She said, grabbing a few pages in her hands and ripping them out, watching as they fell to the ground.

“Stop! Seriously, please stop.” You nearly cried as she continued to rip pieces of the book out.

A small break in the crowd had JJ pushing through with his friends to see what the commotion was. If he was being honest he didn’t know you very well despite working for your dad all summer. He had seen you around and you’d always been polite to him but never quite friendly. Kiara had told him you were shy though, and that you hated stuff like parties or crowds. This was torture already but now you were standing at the poolside, Scarlett’s boyfriend holding your arms so you couldn’t get away as Scarlett tossed the book into the pool.

“No! Fuck, are you kidding me!” You yanked against Scarlett’s boyfriend and he laughed.

“You wanna go in too?” He taunted, “go get it.” And he shoved you forward, both of them laughing as you tripped and fell into the pool.

JJ ran over without thinking, pulling off his shirt and jumping in the water. He grabbed your waist, helping you to the side of the pool as you sputtered out breaths, too upset by the whole ordeal that you hadn’t been able to focus on actually swimming. Kiara and John B helped you out of the pool while Sarah grabbed a towel for you, wrapping it around your shoulders as you sat on the edge with your legs still in the water.

Despite the warmth of the summer night you were shaking from the sudden chill that came from being wet. JJ pulled himself up on the concrete beside you, pulling his boots off and tossing them behind him before placing a hand on your back, rubbing up and down.

“Are you okay?” Sarah asked, kneeling down beside you.

You nodded, “I’ll be fine. Thanks, but I should go.”

As you started to stand up JJ stood too, grabbing his t-shirt and boots, casting one last look at the unsalvageable book Scarlett had tossed into the pool. “Let me walk you back?”

“You don’t have to, you should stay and enjoy the party.”

“I don’t want you walking home alone. It’s already pretty late.” He reasoned. It was already dark and your house was three blocks away. Not a bad walk but you were still soaked from the pool and wouldn’t hate the company, even if you did get tongue tied whenever JJ was around.

“Okay.”

You kept the towel around your shoulders as JJ led you away from the party, Scarlett shouting after you about your taste in pogues and Sarah telling her off. You were too in your head to say much even as you got away from the party and the blaring music and the crowded rooms. Walking through the streets with JJ, both of you barefoot and carrying your shoes. Soaked still from the pool, he had his shirt draped over one shoulder.

“I’m sorry.”

“What for?” JJ asked, glanced over at you.

“You having to dive in and get me out of the pool and walk me home. I ruined your night.”

He shrugged, “not really a fan of kook parties anyway, Sarah wanted to go so…”

You watched as he pulled a tin out of his pocket, rattling it for a moment before opening it up and smiling, holding it so you could see the blunts rolled up in colourful paper, a lighter and juul wedged in next to them. “Are they dry?”

“Yeah, this thing is waterproof. Bought it last year cause I always forget to empty my pockets when I surf.”

“Well I’m sure all the fish are happy. Probably trippin’ out.”

JJ laughed at the joke as he picked out a blunt and lit it up, “you want some?”

“No, I don’t smoke.”

“Do you care if I do?”

You shook your head. You were almost home anyway, then he could leave. Or were you supposed to ask him to stick around? Offer him some clothes from your dad and dry his wet shorts since he’d been nice enough to dive into the pool after you.

“So…you and Scarlett aren’t exactly friends huh?”

“I’m not exactly friends with a lot of people, Scarlett is just one of many.” You replied. “I was only there tonight cause my dad made me go…he says I need to socialise more.”

“You don’t really go out much.”

“I obviously have a good reason.” You said, looking down at your wet clothes.

“Not everyone’s like Scarlett.” He replied, blowing out smoke as he talked. “We’re going on the boat tomorrow, you should come.”

“Maybe.”

“I’d like it if you did.” He admitted, shrugging his shoulders in attempted indifference.

“Okay, but I’ll think I’ll stick to not swimming, if it’s all the same to you.”

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lifblogs · 3 years

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Angstpril 2021: Day 26 - Songs for the Fallen

Mandalorian Killer

read on ao3 1092 words rebels, sabine wren, hera syndulla, chopper, angst, mandalorian culture, trauma, violence, art, music

Sabine was broken from her reverie as a heavy hunk of metal banged into her legs. Luckily, in her surprise, she’d somehow managed to release the trigger on the can of spray paint. She looked down and saw Chopper. He had his little mechanical limbs up, and she felt a vibration coming from him. Great, what did he want now? She was busy!

Sabine didn’t have a chance to pause her music before addressing him because he bumped into her again. Taking her headphones off and leaving them around her neck, she asked, “What!”

His customary rough sounds followed, and he was complaining about being bored. A droid. Bored. Yeah, okay.

“What do you really want?” Sabine asked.

What followed were way too many swears, some that she hadn’t even been aware of, and she kicked him.

“Not now. I’m busy.”

And with that being that, she put her headphones back on, and focused on the bulkhead in her cabin once more. The music she was listening to now was different from her usual taste. Typically she liked new age, but right now, she was listening to the classical battle songs of Mandalore. They hadn’t been properly used in decades, and had fallen into decline when Duchess Satine had ruled, but the music had always stayed important to Clan Wren.

Contrary to what it sounded like, the music wasn’t played during a battle, but sometimes beforehand, to rev everyone up, to help them focus. It was filled with fast rhythms, but what really carried the song through were the long, held out notes. With the way the flutes were played, it almost sounded like singing, like voices telling tales of the fallen.

This was the music she listened to as she painted her home. Part of her wanted to paint her friends, the ones that had died because of her weapon, but she couldn’t bring herself to. Some days she couldn’t even remember their faces. Today was one of those days.

Chopper suddenly bumped into her again, and she tripped. A spray of paint went across the whole picture, ruining the landscape. Her headphones fell off.

“Look what you did!” she cried, getting to her feet and kicking him. “You ruined it! You ruined it! Go bother someone else, you stupid droid! I don’t want you here. No one wants you here!”

Chopper said some very rude things, to which Sabine responded by throwing her can at him. It hit him as he made his way out.

“I hate you!”

Her automatic door slid shut, and Sabine fell to the deck, taking her headphones off. The music still played, crescendoing before leveling out for a few measures, and then falling into a diminuendo. The beat was steady now, not erratic. To someone who didn’t know Mandalorian music, the beat would’ve been non-existent, impossible to pick up.

But even now, as she listened to the voice-like tones, she could hear her home in it.

Sabine pulled her legs in close, and stayed sitting next to her ruined painting.

Ruined. It was all ruined. All of it! Her people, her friends, her family. And it was her fault. And then the one thing she wanted to do to start remembering them, to honor them, it had been messed up by a pathetic, useless droid.

No, no. Chopper doesn’t know.

And that’s what hurt. None of them knew.

They would if you would tell them.

A low drum beat started up, and it sounded tinny and fake through the headphones that now lay on the floor. She knew this song well, so she knew what was coming next, what it was supposed to sound like. What it meant. But it was muted, muffled. False.

Her automatic door slid open, but a knock followed anyway. Sabine looked up to find Hera, blurry in her vision. Oh, she was crying. When had she started crying?

She sniffled and wiped her nose on her sleeve.

“Hey, can I come in?” Hera asked, voice soft.

Sabine shrugged, and Hera took that as answer enough. She sat down next to her, and said, “Chopper came to complain to me.”

“Yeah, I figured.”

“So… you want to talk about it?”

“No,” Sabine snapped, forgetting for a moment that this was Hera, the woman who had taken her in, and given her a home, and a family.

She wasn’t with that family right now. She wasn’t on the ghost. She was back on Mandalore, hearing the screams and cries as she watched good people—her people—burn into ash right in front of her, betrayed by their own armor. Their own culture. There wasn’t her music coming through the headphones, there wasn’t the cold, yet familiar, durasteel surface of the deck. There wasn’t Hera’s warmth next to her.

There was just ash, and death, and tears.

“Sabine—”

“No,” she repeated, getting to her feet. She grabbed her can of paint. Her fingers wrapped tightly around it, and she contemplated throwing it against the bulkhead as hard as she could, maybe even at the painting she’d been working on. “Just leave me alone, Hera, okay? I know what you’re gonna say. Yeah, Chopper didn’t mean it, he doesn’t know. And sure, I can go to you with this, but you know what? I don’t want to. You don’t know what it was like! You weren’t there!”

Her fingers ached from holding the can so tightly, and she wasn’t in the right state of mind to relax them.

“You’re right. I wasn’t there. I’m sorry, Sabine. If there’s anything I can do, just let me know.”

“For now, just leave me alone.”

“Of course.”

Hera got up to leave, and Sabine wanted to scream. Of course she was still being so nice and understanding! Of course Hera was unshakeable, even in the face of Sabine’s hurt. Hera, perfect, perfect Hera.

Aghh!

Sabine threw the can of paint at the automatic door once it slid shut. She turned, and nearly kicked her headphones, but instead, with shaking hands, she put them back on.

Music that was meant to flow through her clanged against her, discordant with the very rhythm of her existence. The music pulsed with the beats of the fallen, and all Sabine felt was emptiness and hate. She stood before her ruined painting, and saw that those feelings were the truth. Where there should’ve been open sky, and people, there was only a vast swath of black. And really, maybe Chopper wasn’t to blame for that. She was: Sabine Wren, killer of Mandalorians.

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consentaclecthulhuwrites · 3 years

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Free Bird, Chapter 6

The next time Revali saw her was at the informal ordination of Link as her sworn protector and chosen knight. The ceremony had supposedly been crafted to be uplifting, and a symbolic beginning for the dangerous journey upon which they were all about to embark. However, if this ritual was meant to set the tone for the entire mission, Revali could only dread the outcome of the plan.

The commentary while Zelda stood above her chosen knight suggested Revali was not the only one with this sense of foreboding.

“Gee, this is uplifting.” Daruk sounded disarmingly sarcastic. “She’s making it sound like we already lost.”

Revali piped up, “Wasn’t this your idea? You’re the one who wanted to designate the appointed knight with all the ceremonial pomp, grandeur, and nonsense we could muster. And if you ask me, the whole thing does seem to be overkill. I think I’m on the same page as the princess regarding… this boy.”

“Oh, give it a rest,” Urbosa sighed. “That boy is a living reminder of her own failures. Well, at least that’s how the princess sees him.”

Her own failures? Revali didn’t understand what Urbosa could have meant. From what he knew of her, Zelda was an accomplished scholar and the pride of the Hyrule legacy. She had modesty, charity, and chastity. She was elegant, well-spoken, truly kind, and carried the weight of royalty like it were gossamer. There was something weighing her down to be sure, but Revali couldn’t imagine it had anything to do with her royal lineage.

Especially around the boy, she seemed more distraught than ever. What was it about this chap that got so under her skin? All the boy had was a stupid destiny. Unlike some people, the champions actually had to work for their skill, for their place in this league of future legends. It was apparent that Zelda had more than earned her reputation as one of the foremost scientific minds Hyrule castle had to offer, as well as a devoted acolyte. Sure, the murmurings made her sound more fanatical and eccentric than anything, but Revali chalked that up to shallow minds with shallow thoughts. It was the squabble of the little people, and what did they know or matter? It was their ignorant hides that needed saving.

After the ceremony had concluded, the champions were allowed time to explore the grounds of the castle. Link had gone to the stables with Mipha, Daruk was off near the armory, Urbosa was in the dining hall carousing with some of the younger soldiers, and Zelda had supposedly returned to her quarters. Revali observed that the princess had slipped out of sight rather swiftly, and none seemed eager to attend her despite what was clearly a downtrodden appearance.

He wondered...

Zelda hunched over the desk in her lab, scowling down at her journal. Why did she ever listen to Daruk? He was such a blockhead sometimes. She appreciated his sentiment; for a man of stone, he certainly had a warm heart, but the ceremony had been an absolute disaster. All the muttering amongst the champions while she spoke the ceremonial script… She caught bits here and there.

“Already lost…”

“Overkill…”

“Failure…”

Her face burned with shame. She wanted the ceremony to be meaningful, positive, and give hope to everyone. She should have known that endeavor would fail. Zelda had no hope herself. Since childhood, the inkling of the goddesses, the innate sense of their presence, just did not exist for her. Her prayers were answered with silence. Her fasts were met with ravenous spiritual hunger. She even offered up plants as sacrifices, then cried with guilt for wastefully plucking them without result. For whatever reason, the goddesses found her… unworthy.

She scribbled hastily, trying to put down the words as fast as they entered her brain. On the verge of tears, she noted, “It is as if there is a great chasm between the goddesses and I. I shout and shout for them to hear me, but only my voice bounces back from that deep, unending void.”

She heard a noise and snapped her journal shut. Someone was clearing their throat. She whipped back to the doorway, but no one was there upon opening the door, nor waiting at the end of the bridge that led from her scientific tower to her bedchamber.

She began checking the windows and at last, she saw a fierce green eye surrounded by blue feathers floating within the frame of one of the slit-sized windows.

“Champion Revali, I believe it was you who reiterated that it was rude to eavesdrop when we first met.”

He hoisted himself up to where he was fully visible in the window frame, flapped his wings, and gave a bow. “My sincerest apologies.”

“Also, do you not think it inappropriate to come see a member of the royal family in their private chambers?”

“But I’m not in them, now am I?”

Zelda laughed. “Are you in need of something, master Revali?”

He offered a gallant smile. “Perhaps your majesty would care to join me for a walk on the grounds. I can see everything up here, but I’ll admit… Hylian structures are baffling to me. I wondered if perhaps you would be willing to educate me.”

The warmth of the smile that grew on her face told Revali he had succeeded in breaking her out of whatever dismal reverie she’d been in when he peered in at her, scowling at her journal.

Zelda met Revali at the base of the stairs. They began to explore the walkways leading down the primary battlement of the castle with a leisurely gait.

“Here we have the entrance to our library.”

“Library?”

Zelda blinked in surprise, then ushered Revali inside.

“What in Hyrule…” His eyes widened as he glanced around the massive room filled wall-to-wall with books.

“Surely you know what a library is, Revali.” Zelda giggled.

Revali rolled his eyes and ruffled his feathers, then said, “Of course I know what a library is… I’ve just never seen one this massive. There is no actual library in the Rito village.”

The princess’s head cocked to the side. “Why not?”

The Rito raised his wing up to the princess’ field of vision and wiggled the most controllable, dexterous portions of his wing, which still looked wildly unwieldy.

“Oh… penmanship and flipping pages must be difficult!”

“Only disciplined Rito, dedicated to the art, actively pursue reading and writing beyond a primary education. We are creatures of oral tradition and have little use for books, though some of the oldest legends are inscribed on tablets of stone.”

“Is it mostly birdsong?”

“Yes. Why would we speak about the legends of the Rito when we could sing the ballads of heroes, the laments of our tribe, the lullabies our fathers learned from their fathers?”

Zelda pondered this for a moment. Then asked: “Do you sing, Master Revali?”

“I can, but I generally do not.”

Zelda had led Revali up a cascading set of stairs and was clearly determined to show him a specific volume. She was scowling and tracing her fingers along titles as she walked along the upper level of the library.

“I could have sworn it was in this section… Found it!” She pulled out a broad but thin volume, clearly weighted, almost square enough to be used as a breastplate for armor fitted to the girl. A harp was crested into the volume’s cover, gilt in gold.

“This is a musical volume of songs from Hyrule’s history. Do the Rito use notations like this?”

She showed him a page with a simple melody. The notations were similar but…

“We use lines like this but typically our musical staves are much larger…” He squinted at the page and then pulled back. “Our notes are not all round. We use shapes and lines to indicate different note lengths…”

“Fascinating! Could you read a melody like this?”

“I am not well-versed in musical notation. We received basic training in childhood, but after those initial years, my studies were dedicated elsewhere. However, this melody is similar to one we learned as nestlings. The Ballad of the Goddess, I believe?”

Zelda laughed with excitement. Revali could not help but notice her laugh was high and sweet, almost birdlike with a chirpy nature.

“Would you sing it for me, Revali?”

“I would rather not.”

The disappointment that fell across her face was immeasurable. It nearly ruined Revali’s day to see her so put out; he felt he had to explain, even if the reason was made up on the spot.

“I do not like the way I sound when I sing from prescribed notes; the planned nature feels stifling. I would rather you not insist.”

“Oh. I would never dream to impose upon you. I’m sorry!”

Revali turned very stern, and gazed at her directly. “Do not apologize. It is not for someone of your position.”

Zelda was a bit taken aback by this admonishment. Most did not speak to her in this blunt fashion. No one but her father had spoken in unfiltered directives. She understood the Rito were a singularly bold people; perhaps tact was not really part of their vocabulary. Her facial expression betrayed her utter bafflement. She nodded sharply.

“You’re right, Revali.”

At that moment, a member of the royal guard emerged at the top of the stairs and was clearly headed in their direction. Revali moved from the princess’ side just as the guard focused his attention on her and said, “Your presence is requested by his majesty King Rhoam.”

Zelda turned to speak with Revali, but he was already taking a bow.

“Till we meet again, your highness.”

The guard extended his arm, and Zelda passed him by, where he took up her rear as he escorted her from the library, following her quite closely.

Revali watched as she disappeared down the staircase, the royal guard following behind her. Why send a guard? Why did he follow her with so little space between them? What an incredible sign of disrespect. It’s as if they expected her to give chase if they even dared to blink. He hoped nothing was amiss. But he couldn’t help to wonder, yet again…

~*~*~*~*~

Link to Chapter 5 HERE

Link to Chapter 4, Part 2 HERE

Link to Chapter 4, Part 1 HERE

Link to Chapter 3 HERE

Link to Chapter 2 HERE

Link to Chapter 1 HERE

#revali #legend of zelda #zelda #breath of the wild #botw #revali x zelda #zelda x revali #free bird #free bird chapter 6

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multisfabulis · 4 years

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Clairvoyant Rain

Word Count: 3038

TW: Implied self-harm, implied/referenced past child abuse

Can you believe it's been about a year since I last wrote these two? It's not that I don't have much to write about, I just haven't had the time to do so! Between working on Corona's Shadow, working on the backburner project you'll get to see after I post chapter 2 of "Love's Descent into Madness", and dealing with IRL stuff, RLD has kinda fallen to the wayside. I can't guarantee I'll work more on it but I'll try my best to!

By the way, the reason this fic exists is because I wanted to write soft Luce/Ravi and this song was my inspiration for it!

Read on AO3 | Read on DA | Support me on Ko-fi!

Ravi tiredly opened his eyes and immediately regretted it. He hoped it would be morning so this wouldn’t happen but alas… It was still dark, the neon lights outside pouring in from the window. He could hear rain pattering on the glass as he looked at the digital clock for the time. In bright red numbers read 2:52 AM. Yep, way too early to be up and he fucking hated it.

All waking up in the middle in the night ever did was ruin his good night’s sleep and make the alarm he set even more unbearable than it already was. If only he could go back to the days before Eli came and fucked everything up. That’d be really nice but because he’s wishing for it, he’ll never get those days back. He turned over onto his side and closed his eyes, wanting to drift back asleep.

It was a moment later he heard a thunderous roar. His heart hammered against his chest as he shot up in bed. It took him some time to realize it wasn’t stuff being thrown around but something falling on piano keys from a great height. Luce knew better than to be loud when people were sleeping. Something must be happening if he was banging on the piano with no consideration for others.

Tossing the covers aside, he hurried over to the door and opened it. He found himself face to face with a sleepy Amelia. She had a minor case of bedhead going on as dark pinkish eyes widened upon seeing him. No doubt on why she was up.

“You heard that, too, right?” he asked quietly.

Giving him a nod for her answer, he stepped in front and whispered, “All right, I’m gonna go see what’s going on. Stay behind me and don’t make a single peep.”

They tiptoed down the hallway and he peeked around the corner. He saw Luce hunched over his piano, running his hands through his hair while muttering nonsense under his breath. He seemed to be frustrated, which was a rare state to see him in. His exclamation of “Damn it!” before slamming his hands down on the keys was further proof of it. Hearing the sudden discordant boom from up close startled Amelia as she nearly blew her cover with a stifled gasp.

Turning around, he crouched down and put a finger to his lips, whispering, “Go back to bed, I’ll talk to Luce and everything will be fine, all right?”

She nodded and walked back to her room. He watched her go inside and shut the door before deciding on his next course of action. He had an idea as to what was going on and he didn’t want her listening in on them. A girl her age shouldn’t be exposed to such dark things.

He carefully made his way across the living room, being as quiet as the wind. He glanced over to where Luce’s knife was and grew worried when he saw it. It was laying on top of its sheath, meaning he took it out for a reason. He hoped it wasn’t the reason he was thinking of but he had his doubts. He sat beside the other man on the piano seat, concerned.

“Luce?” he called out quietly, searching for his eyes. “Is everything all right?”

Ruby red eyes met his as he replied in a guilty voice, “Snowbird, I, I’m sorry if I woke you up, I just---”

“No, it’s fine, I’m just--” he tentatively put a hand on his back in an attempt to comfort him-- “I’m just wondering if you’re okay.”

“Well,” he began, letting out a scoff, “I thought that if I played music for a little bit, I would stop thinking about the bad memories that just popped up out of nowhere but because my hands are shaking so damn bad, I’m not hitting the right keys and that’s pissing me the fuck off.

“If my hands could just stop shaking, I’d be able to play, because if I don’t play soon, I’m gonna do something I’ll end up regretting and I don’t wanna do that so…” he trailed off, his voice going from a fever pitch to sounding broken.

He rubbed his hand over his back, hoping to soothe him. It was then he looked down and his worry deepened into alarm. Luce was vigorously scratching at his arm, which was a canvas full of faded scars over pale white skin. Oh, that was definitely not good.

He couldn’t let his panic get the best of him. It’d only worsen Luce’s already bad state and it was the last thing the both of them needed. He had to stay calm and try to curb his urge to hurt himself. In a way, this was good, because it meant he hadn’t done it yet, if the lack of blood wasn’t an indicator. He could try and talk him out of it so, if it worked, it’d encourage him to resist the temptation in the future.

Placing a hand atop his to stop his scratching, Ravi asked, “Why don’t we go back to my room and get your mind off this for a little bit, hmm? Would that be okay?”

“Yeah, that…might be good,” Luce replied, his breathing shaky.

He helped him up off the seat and led him through the hallway. He held on to his hand the whole time as a means of keeping him grounded. Even so, he kept a close eye on him to make sure Luce was still in the present. It was after he brought him inside his room he saw some improvement in his condition.

A quiet calm had replaced whatever anger was left in him. His eyes were no longer glassy and his breathing had steadied some. He was still there, he could reach him and not be met with silence.

Setting him down on the bed, Ravi knelt in front of him and asked, “Are you feeling better?”

“A little bit,” he replied, letting out a sigh afterwards. “Snowbird, listen, I’m sorry for making you have to take care of me and---”

“Hey, hey, hey, none of that, all right?” He reached up to cup his cheek. “You’re not a burden to me, Luce. I know this is a new thing for both of us but I’ll be there for you, okay? Whatever it is, I’ll be there so…remember that.”

With the ghost of a smile, Luce took hold of his hand and kissed the back of his fingers. His lips curled into a small smile of his own at the display. At least it showed he meant what he said by feeling a bit better. He retracted his hand and stood up with a huff, sitting beside him on the bed.

“So, do you wanna talk about it?” he asked, leaning forward to see his face.

Watching the small trace of relief fade away, he quickly added, “It doesn’t have to be about that! It could be about anything you want! Anything that’ll get your mind off that…”

A huge clap of thunder sounded off in that instant, rattling the whole apartment. The loud boom caused his heart to stop for a split second before resuming. He turned to face the window to see if the power had gone out from that. Nope, the stupid neon signs from across the street were still on so that’s that.

“Jesus Christ, that was loud. You okay after hearing that, Lu---”

He turned around to check on him and fell silent. Luce was leaning back on the bed, his eyes closed as if he were listening to the downpour outside. What really stunned him was the expression on his face. He looked…content, no signs of stress or detachment present. Just peace and serenity, things he never thought he’d ever see on him, at least not for a long time.

“Luce?”

As if he just remembered he wasn’t alone, Luce straightened up and said, “Sorry, I just got…entranced listening to the rain.”

“You actually like this shitty weather?” he asked incredulously. No normal person would like this kind of weather. Then again, he’s forgetting that Luce isn’t normal by any stretch of the imagination.

“I love it, it’s very special to me,” he replied. “Have I not told you this?”

“No, and we’ve been going out for how long?”

“Do you wanna know why, then? I think you’ll have somewhat of an idea when I tell you I began to love the rain on that night.”

It took him longer than it should’ve to realize what he meant. The night he became truly free from his shackles, the night he… That already told him just a hint of the significance rain carried for Luce. He may not have understood why it was so special but it was cruel of him to mock that which he clearly loved so…

“That night, after I did what I did,” Luce began, a tone of reminiscence held in his voice, “I went outside. I looked up and there were dark storm clouds coming in and before I knew it, it started pouring down rain. The moment I felt those raindrops hit me, I knew…I’d be okay.

“I had been so numb, numb to everything that touched me. The beatings my father would give me, the kisses my mother would give me, I felt none of it for so long. That rain was the first thing I felt in such a long time and…I cried. I could finally feel something and I was happy, I was…alive. I think, in that moment, the rain washed away not only the blood but my ‘self’. That was when I became Luce.”

“When you say that, do you mean you weren’t called Luce before?” Ravi asked, confused by his wording.

“You really think my parents gave enough of a shit about me to give me a name?” he replied with a sardonic smile. “I was called either some of the worst things you’d ever say to a kid or fake pet names. I found the name Lucian when I was 11 or 12 but I only really embraced it when I was 15.

“Anyway, ever since then, I’ve always taken rain as a sign of good luck.” He laid back on the bed, his arms folded under his head. “If it rains, that means something good will happen.”

No wonder why Luce liked rain so much. It represented freedom, it made him feel alive when death wanted to take him, it gave him a life. It was hard to say whether it played a role in the two of them crossing paths but the universe was funny like that. Whatever it may be, Luce was here now and maybe it was fate that he woke up to help him through a bad time.

“So what’s the best thing the rain’s ever brought you?” he asked, curious to know his answer.

“Hmm…” Luce looked as if he was deep in thought before replying, “I’d say it was meeting you. It was raining the day we met.”

Feeling heat rush to his cheeks, he attempted to deflect that by saying, “Maybe you should go up to the roof and soak in the rain for a little while because I highly doubt that I’m the best thing rain’s brought you.”

Without missing a beat, he countered that with, “It was raining the day I realized I loved you, too.”

“Oh, come on, that’s not even fucking fair!” he exclaimed, his whole face now warm to the touch. “What the hell do I say to argue against that?!”

Luce’s laughter at his expense made him turn away from him. He really should’ve known better than to degrade himself around Luce. He refused to allow him to believe there was nothing good about him and it annoyed the fuck out of him. He knew it was because he loved him and wanted to prove him wrong but still. It was rather touching to know how far he’d go but he’d never admit that out loud.

After catching his breath, Luce took hold of Ravi’s wrist and, in a tender voice, said, “I love you.”

“...I love you too,” he answered back, defeated. Luce knew exactly what to say to put an end to his self-loathing. It was so rare of him to say “I love you” first so of course he’d say it. “Can I kiss you?”

He sat up, leaned in close, and replied, “Yes.”

Ravi closed his eyes and bridged the gap between them. Luce parted his lips just a fraction, kissing him back with chasteness. It was a simple kiss that only lasted a few seconds before they pulled away, Ravi exhaling out a breath. He quickly stood up as he shoved down the urge to go in for a second kiss.

“All right, get the fuck off the bed, I gotta sleep,” he said, stretching his arms up above him. Then he remembered what happened earlier. “You gonna be okay?”

“Yeah, I’ll be fine,” he replied, standing up as well.

“You sure? If you want, I can---”

Luce cut him off with a kiss to the forehead. He pulled away with a fond smile on his face and whispered, “I’ll be okay. Go to bed, Snowbird.”

Guess that was as good an answer as any. He reluctantly crawled under the covers and looked at the clock for the time. 3:43 AM in dull red numbers. God, did they really spend almost an hour just talking about the rain? There went his full night’s sleep but he’d learn to deal with it.

His eyes wandered over to Luce. He wasn’t sure if it’d really be okay for him to sleep while he might still be in need of help. He seemed to be getting on now but it had only been an hour since everything and there was no telling of the future. In the end, he had to trust Luce to come to him if he needed him. Exhaustion swept over him like a wave and he struggled to stay awake.

“Goodnight, Luce.”

“Goodnight, Snowbird.”

And he was out like a light.

It was morning when he woke up next. He must’ve overslept because he could hear the sounds of rush hour outside his apartment. His alarm didn’t go off so it must’ve been switched off at some point last night. Good thing Luce did it on the weekend; otherwise, he’d be in a panic, trying to make up for lost time. He attempted to turn over but was stopped by an arm around his waist.

It was then he found Luce curled up next to him, soundly asleep. He was taken aback by this display. Him being asleep was a rare enough sight on its own but him sleeping beside him on the bed was virtually unheard of. The only other time they were like this was the first night they slept together. He wasn’t able to do it before, due to the circumstances, but he could do it now.

He brushed strands of hair away from Luce’s face, admiring his beauty. He looked so peaceful, so…vulnerable, an impossibility made real. It’s not like he hadn’t seen other sides of Luce. There was the crooked smile and glint in his eyes when he was playful and the furrowed brow and emotionless voice when he was serious. Yet the tranquil and unguarded Luce before him was like a secret he was finally let in on.

Was his trust in him so deep, he felt like he could do this with him? It had to be if this was happening and Ravi was…happy. Knowing the kind of life Luce had before meeting him, before he knew what freedom was, he was so glad that Luce was letting himself be like this around him. He wondered if maybe, just maybe, he felt safe while in his presence. If so, then…

He carded his fingers through dark locks, bringing him in close. He decided to bask in the morning sun with him in the little time he had before needing to get up. He softly kissed Luce’s temple and brought him even closer. Their faces were mere inches apart as he shut his eyes. The last thing he could’ve swore he saw was the corner of his mouth curve up into a small smile.

#airi's writing #oc; Ravi #oc; Luce #Red Light Dregs #implied self harm #implied abuse

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angst-fairygodmother · 4 years

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Sing Once Again With Me: Think of Me (The Witcher; A Phantom of the Opera AU)

A/N: Here’s the first real chapter. A word to the wise, anyone who genuinely likes the Phantom and thinks Christine should have ended up with him should probably stop here because I am not pulling any punches. Much like the original story, it’s going to be strangely romantic but its also going to clearly pretty fucked up relationship-wise. Word Count: 870 (I promise these will get longer, and then you’ll be wishing for my short chapters) Content Warnings: None Taglist: @joz-stankovich, @hermeowyn, @sennextheassasinkingoflightPrevious Chapter: Overture Cross-posted to AO3: here

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The showcase would be her greatest moment, a triumphant performance that would solidify her as the single greatest musician and performer that the continent had ever seen. If only these damnable stagehands could get it together. But no, instead they had put the wrong backdrop up; they had nearly dropped it on her; they had had various “accidents”, interrupting her rehearsals, some of them injuring her or her co-performers. After this latest disaster, a spill of lamp oil nearly catching her skirts on fire, she quit. She was The Countess. She did not have to put up with this incompetence.

“No! I have put up with too much in your stupid music hall! I.am.done!” She threw the elaborate hair piece that one of the maids had been trying to pin to her hair at the conductor and stormed away.

Y/N rolled her eyes and pulled a face at her retreating back. “She’s not even that good,” she hissed to Jaskier who giggled beside her. Their noise was met with a half-hearted glare from Yennefer before she swept over to the huddle where the managers fretted over what to do now that their star had departed. As soon as her back was turned, the two musicians crept closer to listen in.

“The seats were filled. The audience was going to be huge!” one manager, Andre, cried, wringing his hands. “We’ll have to refund the pre-sales. All the money we spent advertising, wasted. We’ll be ruined.”

“Surely we can win her back,” Firman said, far more a question than the confident statement it was likely meant to be.

“No, I do not think you can,” the conductor’s thick accent muffled his words. “She is very angry. To quit on such a night.”

Yennefer watched the three men with a raised eyebrow and a condescending smirk.

“She’s not irreplaceable. Jaskier could play the part just as well. Better.” She turned to where the two young musicians were standing, now trying very hard to appear as if they hadn’t been listening.

“But he is just an orchestra member! How could he possibly?” Andre snapped.

At the same time, Y/N had seized Jaskier by the shoulders in a hug and ignoring his wide-eyed look. “You have to! You’ll be amazing! This is your shot!”

“He has been…taking lessons with one of the best tutors. Along with his natural talent, that makes him a sure bet. Let him prove it to you.”

“Yennefer would know,” the conductor added with a respectful nod toward her. “She does not take anything less than sure.”

Geralt wasn’t sure what had brought him into the music hall. He had just been passing through the city, not even planning to stop but having no real way around because of the surrounding cliffs. The grand, sweeping building occupied one side of the square that he and Roach rode through, lit by dozens of colored lanterns and the light from them reflecting off the gilded columns and arches so that it glittered like a gem-encrusted crown in the dying of the day. On any other day, his eyes would have swept past it without a second thought.

Instead, he had stabled Roach and used the space to do his best to tidy himself to blend into the crowd. Still, he knew that he looked the part of the common mercenary at best, looked down upon by the well-dressed nobles and merchants who streamed into the building. He considered himself quite lucky that none of the ushers stopped him as he dropped far too much coin on a standing room ticket and slipped into the back of the grand theatre.

The lights were doused so that only the stage could be seen. Soft music floated over the crowd, barely able to be heard over the still chattering men and women. But suddenly, a single voice cut through, accompanied by a lute as the other musicians ceased to play, and the crowd hushed. The high, clear notes of the instrument and the gentle tenor of the singer were captivating. Geralt gasped at the familiar sound.

Valdo watched from the shadows of the box, smug. Jaskier was doing excellently. Every note was technically perfect. And more than that, he had seen the way the crowd had stilled. Every eye was on his beautiful flower, as was deserved.

And yet…

He felt a jealous twist in his heart.

Jaskier was his, a beautiful thing for him alone to enjoy, an instrument for him to play, a symphony for him to write. He did not want to share that with the world.

Unless…perhaps it was time to step once more into the light, beside him.

The other bard’s song was indeed enchanting, not nearly complex enough for his gift, but lovely still. Valdo turned his attention back to it, green eyes glinting with pride.

The song’s final notes hung in the air for a long, breathless moment before the audience rose in a cacophony of cheers and applause.

Of course it was a full house standing ovation. Jaskier deserved nothing less.

Blushing, the blue-eyed bard bowed before scurrying off into the wings.

Valdo smiled, wide and serpentine, slipping back through his hidden door to await him.

#The Witcher #The Witcher fic #my writing #Jaskier x Valdo Marx #Jaskier #Geralt of Rivia #Valdo Marx #Sing Once Again With Me #Phantom of the Opera AU

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lust-kth · 5 years

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BTS Reaction: When He Confesses His Feelings

Pairing: BTS x Reader

Warnings: None

Genre: 100% PURE FLUFF

A/N: This is my first reaction and I am trying to write as often as I can. So I do hope y’all enjoy and stay tuned for my next post!

Kim Seokjin

He’s usually a confident man whenever he does anything. But when it comes to you, he’s a whole mess. His long-time crush on you has gotten to the point where he can’t be without you anymore. One night when he walks you home after a night out with your friends, you can’t help but notice he’s quieter than usual and it makes you worried.

“Jin? Are you okay? You haven’t said much all evening and I’m worried something is up.”

“Ah I’m okay y/n, it’s nothing really. No need to worry about me.”

He gave you a quick smile before looking back down on the ground but you grabbed his wrist and he was taken aback by your sudden action.

“I’ve known you since we were teenagers so I know when you’re lying. Please tell me the truth Kim Seokjin.”

The use of his full name made him sigh and he looked deep into your eyes then cupped your cheek, making you blush unintentionally.

“You really want to know y/n? I’m in love with you. I know I shouldn’t because our friendship could be ruined and I don’t want that. But I thought it was time you knew.”

He dropped his hand from your face when you bit your lip, feeling stupid you didn’t see it from the beginning but then you laughed, confusing him.

“Damn it Jin, that’s all it was? Well then, I think I should tell my truth as well…I’m also in love with you.”

His eyes widened and he grabbed your hands, the biggest smile etched across his face. He couldn’t believe it, he finally got the girl he’s loved for so long.

Min Yoongi

Meeting Yoongi was a total coincidence. You met while you were looking for equipment to work on your music and he happened to be at the same store you were, both of you looking for the same launchpad since you were both rising producers, which became a great conversation starter. Flash-forward to 2 years later and you’ve been close friends since, working hard on music and you’ve been so high in demand, you two decided to work together to create your own label. In those 2 years, you developed a crush on Yoongi but never acted on your feelings because he was your friend but also your business partner and you didn’t want to ruin things. One afternoon you were finishing a sample for an artist when Yoongi knocked on the studio, letting him in and saw he brought food.

“I bought tteokbokki for you cause I know you haven’t eaten since yesterday.”

“Wow Min Yoongi, you really are very considerate of my health. My heart is melting.”

“Yeah yeah, come on eat up.

”You took the bag of food and started eating while Yoongi sat at your computer and listened to what you were working on. He nodded in approval.

“That’s coming up really nice y/n. They’re gonna love it.”

“Thanks Yoongs. And thanks for the food too, I was starving.”

“Yeah no problem…look y/n, there’s something I’ve been meaning to tell you and usually I don’t speak up about my feelings but I really need to get this off my chest and it may ruin our friendship but at least I know that I said it…I like you. I really like you a lot and every time you come into my studio, my whole day gets better and there’s no one else I’d be doing any this with but you.”

You stared at him, unable to believe you heard the words you’ve been wanting to hear for so long, then you scooted closer to him and laid your head on his shoulder.

“I like you too Yoongi.”

In that moment his heart fluttered in excitement and held your hand in his. He finally had the courage to confess the love he had for you since the moment he met you.

Jung Hoseok

You and Hoseok became fast friends when you met at a dance competition. Your dance team was up against his, yet despite losing to him, you found him interesting and wanted to work with him. Your dance teams got together every week after that and the two of you choreographed all the dances, being impressed by both your skills. At this point you integrated both your teams to be one and y’all were training hard for an upcoming competition. You and Hoseok were practicing your parts while the others were resting and he watched closely to the movements you were making with your body, suddenly getting flustered. He knew he found you attractive but never acted on his feelings since you two had a good thing going on. No this time he saw how focused you were and how much effort you put into your dancing. You noticed he wasn’t going the same rhythm as you so you stopped.

“Hoseok? Everything okay?” “Oh uh yeah sorry. I just spaced out for a moment.” “Alright. Well let’s take a 10 minute break and we’ll come back to it. Mind coming with me to get more water?”

He nodded and followed you out into the hall outside where you refilled your water bottle and looked over at him, noticing he was staring at you.

“What?”

“Y/n…I think I should say this before we go back. The reason why I haven’t been able to focus is because you’re distracting me. In a good way though. I really like you and I want to take you out for dinner.”

“Really? Umm yes of course! Wow I didn’t expect this. Here I thought I was gonna be the one to ask you out.” “Wait, you were gonna ask me out? So you like me too?”

“Yup. Did I do a good job hiding it?”

“Yes you did. Alright then, I’ll pick you up at 7 tonight.”

After the two of you walked in hand in hand, your friends taking notice and gasped.

“It’s about time you two got together!”

Kim Namjoon

He was your college algebra tutor since you had a lot of trouble with the subject and couldn’t study by yourself. Your upperclassmen recommended him to you so you reached out to him and y’all would meet up every Tuesday and Thursday in the library. You were so intrigued by him and felt yourself falling for him every time you saw him. It was soon finals time and you were on your last study session with him before your algebra final, reviewing everything you had learned.

“So then what would x equal in this equation?”

You worked though the problem, biting your lip and showed him your work.

“x would equal 4?”

“Umm not quite. Here let’t try again y/n.”

“I’m never gonna get this Joon. I’m gonna fail this fucking final. I know it!”

“Well if that’s what you think, then I guess I’m a bad tutor.”

“No it’s not that, it’s me. My brain sucks. Like I do get some concepts but this is really kicking my ass.”

He shook his head and rubbed your back to comfort you. The sudden contact made you blush when he smiled, showing those dimples that made your heart dance.

“No don’t sell yourself short. You can do this, I believe in you. This is probably inappropriate right now but maybe after your math final, you’d like to join me for ice cream to celebrate you finishing up your first year of college. Maybe like a date, because I really like you y/n. From the moment you walked through those doors.”

You sat there with your mouth open a little, was this really attractive, nerdy guy really asking you out. How could you say no to him? Plus you knew you liked him too.

“Alright then, it’s a date Joon.”He mentally high-fived himself, happy he scored a date with the girl of his dreams.

Park Jimin

You’ve been friends with Jimin since you were kids and you grew up together doing the same things. You cared about each other very much so when one day, your boyfriend of 1 and a half years decided to call it quits, calling you a cheater because you spent so much time with Jimin and you did your best to explain to him that he was just you best friend and nothing more. Unfortunately your ex didn’t see it that way and broke off you relationship with no regrets, leaving you devastated because you loved him, or so you thought. That night you cried your heart out and called Jimin over to your house since you didn’t want to be alone and he arrived within 5 minutes of calling him.

“Oh y/n. He’s a piece of shit. He must have been really jealous and insecure to assume you were cheating on him. Forget that jerk.”

“But I loved him Jimin! I really thought he was the one.”

His heart broke for you, but it also broke for himself because he knew you would never love him the way he does. He wrapped you in his arms tightly, his face nuzzled in your hair as the familiar scent of your strawberry shampoo hit his nose and at that moment he couldn’t keep his feelings bottled anymore.

“Y/n…I know this isn’t the right time to say this but…I like you. I like you more than a friend and when you were with this jerk, I wished it was me you stayed up late talking with, I wished it was me giving you flowers and gifts, and I wished it was me you would say I love you to. I would treat you better than he ever did, and who else knows you more than I? So, if you want, I’ll leave.”

He released you from his arms and stood up to walk away but felt your hand wrap around his wrist. He was surprised and looked at you as you wiped your tears away.

“Please don’t go Jiminie…look just give me some time and we’ll talk about this okay? I’m not rejecting you at all, in fact I’m glad you told me.”

“I would never break your heart y/n. I promise you that now.”

He kisses your hand with his soft lips and lays you down so you can get some sleep, never leaving your side the rest of the day.

Kim Taehyung

Taehyung was one of your work best friends. He made your day in the office much more tolerable with his jokes and that boxy smile you loved so much. One day you sat in your cubicle, bored out of your mind with all the amount of work you had to finish before you left for the day. Your head was hurting and all you wanted to do was shove the papers in your boss’ face and walk out the door, but of course you couldn’t do that since you needed the job to eat and have a roof over your head so you put up with it. Moments later, Taehyung’s head appeared overhead and you looked up at him.

“What can I do for you sir?”

“Eh nothing, just wanted to check in with you slick. You nearly done? It’s almost 5.”

“Pshh I wish I could say I was, I think I might have to stay over time.”

“Well I can keep you company if you want.” “Oh no Taehyung, you go enjoy your Friday night. I’ll be fine.”

He pouted, knowing you’d give into his offer with that look on his face. You sighed and gave him a warm smile in response, not having to say another word as he disappeared back into his cubicle for the remaining half hour. 5 o’clock arrived and everyone except the two of you left, your work nearly done but you still had to input the information onto your computer. Taehyung was on his phone, glancing up at you every few minutes and took in the sight of you. To him you were one of the most hard-working women he’s ever met and he felt upset you weren’t appreciated as well as you deserved. Finally after an hour and half you were finished and you looked over at Taehyung who was asleep and you felt bad he stayed more time than he needed to, but mostly thankful for him keeping you company. You looked at him a little bit longer, appreciating his facial features, especially that cute little mole on his nose and shook him gently.

“Taehyung, time to wake up.”

“No 5 more minutes mom, I was just about to tell y/n I liked her.”

Your eyes widened in shock. Did he just say what you thought he said? Taehyung liked you? Not that there was a problem with that, you liked him just as much.

“Umm Tae? It’s me y/n.”

He jumped up instantly, realizing he said that and felt his cheeks flush red with embarrassment. He did not just confess to his crush while half asleep.

“Shit, you didn’t hear that right?”

“That you liked me? Yeah I did.”

“Fuck, I wanted to do it properly.”

“Tae, no worries. I like you too.”

“Really? So then would you like to go out with me tonight?”

“Absolutely.”

Jeon Jungkook

Jungkook was one of your online friends you met through gaming. He was the one you would play with almost every day and you grew closer as friends. You really hoped to meet him one day but you lived in different countries and you had no way to get to him. Except one day when y’all were talking on Discord, he surprised you saying he got money for his birthday and wanted to spend it on a plane ticket to go see you. You definitely wanted that more than anything so you two were quick to make plans and he arrived in your home country a month later. You picked him up at the airport and showed him around your hometown, doing everything you enjoyed. At the end of the day, the two of you went over to your place and started playing Overwatch. You couldn’t believe he was actually here playing video games next to you. When your team won a few matches, you took a break and sat on the couch with him.

“Damn if only you could stay forever. This is so much more fun.”

“I agree. Thanks for showing me around y/n. I just really wish I had more than a week with you.”

“Me too. I’m gonna be so sad when you leave.”

“Then we should really make the most of it then.”

The rest of the week you and Jungkook were together, you mostly played video games but you also went out and enjoyed the nightlife. It was soon the day before Jungkook had to leave so that afternoon, you helped him pack as you felt tears starting to come on.

“I don’t want you to go. I want you to stay here playing video games with me all day."

“There’s nothing more than that. You’re the only one who really understands me…I won’t find anyone else like you back home…”

“Jungkook…”

“Y/n, I need to be honest. I’m in love with you. I have been for quite some time now and I should have said it earlier but I was afraid. Now I don’t want to leave you.”

You started crying, your feelings for him starting to come up to and you hugged him tightly. There was no way you were going to let him leave after that confession but you knew he had to go home.

“I’m in love with you too…god this is so fucking hard.”

“I know…but I’m willing to do a long-distance relationship if you are. We’ll video chat every day and I’ll text you whenever. I don’t give a shit about the time difference. Whenever you need me, I’ll be there for you.”

He kissed your head softly and you held each other for as long as you could.

#bts #bts scenarios #bts reactions #kim namjoon #kim seokjin #min yoongi #jung hoseok #park jimin #kim taehyung #jeon jungkook #bts fluff

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thorne93 · 5 years

Text

Stan Lee University (Part 11)

Prompt: What would the Avengers be like in college, more importantly, what would they be like if Y/N existed around them?

Word Count: 3175

Warnings: drama, language, betrayal, violence

Notes: This is based on a HC from @carryonmyswansong. They helped brainstorm and write part of this series. In this AU, no one will have powers, everyone is a normal human. Beta’d by @carryonmyswansong

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Monday, on an early October morning, you were back in physics lab. You could hardly bare to even look at Stephen. He probably heard of your shitty decision and judged you for it. Who wouldn’t? He said the guy was trouble, and you didn’t pay any attention to it.

Stephen and you worked quietly, only speaking when you had to. At one point, you got up to swap out some supplies, and he saw his chance. He leaned over the table quickly and caught Tony and Bruce’s attention.

“Hey, what’s up with Y/N?” he asked, gesturing with his head toward you.

“You haven’t heard?” Bruce questioned.

“If I had, would I be asking?” Stephen shot.

“Y/N got scammed, okay?” Tony said, leaning forward, his voice low. “She hooked up with that asshole Loki. He left before sunrise.”

“So she got stood up. She doesn’t seem the type to let that bring her down this bad.”

Tony shook his head. “She found out later she was just a bet. It wasn’t just an old fashioned one night stand. He literally used her for money.”

“He...did what now?” Stephen asked, clear anger in his voice.

Bruce cleared his throat to signal you were on your way back and everyone shifted back in their position.

“Thanks for running those numbers,” Stephen said kindly.

You gave him an incredulous look. “What? No statement about how you want to check the math? Nothing about how it’s elementary calculus?”

He shook his head. “Not today. Not unless you work better when someone’s berating you. I could arrange that.”

On any other day, that quip might be cute. But you’d had your fill of smart assed men. You rolled your eyes and took a deep breath, getting back to the lab.

------------------

When lab ended, you left the trio of guys and nearly ran back to your dorm, your safe haven. You pulled out homework and immediately started on it. Meanwhile, Stephen was looking for Loki.

As luck would have it, Loki was in the middle of the courtyard talking to three people, walking towards him. As soon as they approached, Stephen reeled back and punched Loki square in the jaw, sending him to the ground. He spit out blood and looked up at Stephen.

“Are you fucking insane?” he asked, wiping his jaw. “The hell is wrong with you?”

But Stephen had already turned around, leaving.

A knock came to your dorm door, but you didn’t hear it. You were on the patio outside of your room. A small concrete slab with two chairs and one small table. Your homework was on it while you worked.

A moment later, you heard a voice. A voice you weren’t sure you wanted to hear.

“Y/N?”

You stopped writing, but didn’t look up as you said, “If you’re here to be a dick or banter, I’m not in the mood.”

“I heard what happened,” he offered softly.

You pressed your lips into a firm line.

“You haven’t been to class.”

“Observant, aren’t we?”

He sighed as he continued. “I don’t know you all that well, maybe not as well as your other friends, but you don’t seem like the type to get this… depressed over one asshole. So what’s wrong?”

You looked up at him, a flash of anger in your eyes. “You wanna know what’s wrong? Everything.” You sighed heavily and sat back, running your hands over your face, your hair.

Stephen took this as a cue to sit down beside you. “Okay, so tell me. I’m all ears.”

“Since when are you a therapist?” you questioned harshly.

“Since I worry why you’re not in class. You were the most obnoxiously optimistic and happy person I knew on this campus and now you never smile.”

At that, you dropped some of the anger towards him. This wasn’t all his fault. It was partially his fault because you really just wished he would’ve made a move sooner, then you wouldn’t have just latched onto Loki because he was the first guy to show interest.

“My friend Wanda isn’t my friend any more, and it’s all because of some stupid fucking internship. It’s not even the internship I care about. It’s the way she got it. It’s the fact that she felt she needed to defile my name to take it from me. My first love and I called it quits for the first time this semester, I thought I could move on with someone like Loki, but I was just a notch on his belt. To top that off, Bucky knew about the bet. He said he forgot, which, I guess I believe but still… he didn’t warn me. I just thought there was more to us, that we had history and he’d warn me. And I thought I was smarter than this. Like… I should’ve seen it for miles what Loki was up to, but I was so god damn blind. I just wanted to prove to myself that I could move on and be with someone besides Bucky, you know?”

He nodded.

“I mean, yeah it sucks that the first guy I gave myself to after my ‘first’ was just an asshole, but that… I could get over that. But graduation is fast approaching and Wanda felt okay doing what she did, and her and her brother won’t speak to me. Our group feels divided and I hate it. Clint and Nat are going to get married after graduation and I won’t see him as much. Then we’ll all go off and our lives will be different.” You shook your head. “I don’t know. This is a lot of stuff coming to surface I guess,” you said with a laugh.

“Well that’s good. You’re recognizing it.”

“Yeah, I mean, the Loki thing hurt, if I’m being honest. Being used, being made a joke, being…. Well used for sex, I felt cheap afterwards, but I’ve come to realize that’s his downfall not mine. I trusted him, he betrayed that, not me.”

“I’m glad you see past that.”

You nodded. “But I can’t see past all my friends, friends I’ve grown up with, betraying me, going down different paths… I’m losing friends right and left and I don’t know what to do and I guess I got scared.”

You smiled, but tears started to fall and your face fell into your hands. Immediately, he scooted closer and wrapped an arm around you.

“Well you’ve got one here, right now…”

He held you for a long time while you cried. He didn’t crack any jokes. He didn’t try to leave. He didn’t judge you. He just… held you. It was exactly what you needed in that moment.

When it got dark outside, you offered for him to join you inside. He grabbed your homework and you went in, leading the way. He put your things down on your desk.

“Hey, are you hungry?” Stephen suddenly offered.

You took a second to pay attention to your stomach. “Now that you mention it…” You trailed off.

“Care to come with me?”

“You gonna take me out to eat?”

“Not exactly.”

“Where are we going?” you wondered with curiosity burning in your tone.

“Grab your purse,” he instructed with a smile. You did as you were told and followed him out of your room. He walked with you across the campus, until you reached his dorm buildings. Well, you assumed they were his, as he was getting into a car just outside of them.

“Are you going to tell me where we’re going?”

He shook his head. “No. This is a surprise. Is that okay?”

You eyed him up and down as he backed out of the space before saying, “Yeah… Yeah it’s okay.”

“Good.”

You leaned up and turned on the radio, flipping stations until a good song came on.

“That’s a good one,” he noted.

“Oh yeah? You pick the next one. We’ll see if you pass my music test,” you challenged.

“Oh, I’m gonna make you have an ear orgasm, just wait,” he assured with jest.

You grinned, waiting for the song to end and Stephen to impress you. And he did. You two listened to the radio for a short while before he pulled into a grocery store.

“What are we doing here? Oh, are you stocking up?”

He shook his head.

“No. We’re gonna make dinner.”

“You can cook?”

“You still ask stupid questions?” he shot back with a smile and you couldn’t help but laugh.

The two of you entered the store, with him grabbing a little shopping basket.

“So what are we getting?” you wondered as you walked happily by his side. You weren’t worried about Loki, or Bucky, or wondering why your friends had betrayed you. You were just… with him, and right now, that’s all you wanted.

“Stuff for a pizza. You do eat pizza, right?”

“You still ask stupid questions?” you fired at him, a wide grin on your face.

“Pepperoni okay?”

“Always.”

With that, you two set off to find dough, sauce, cheese, and pepperoni.

“Wait,” you said, walking toward the cashier, your hand on his arm. “Where are we going to make this stuff?”

“I’ve got a place,” he assured.

“Your dorm?”

“You’ll see,” he informed with an air of mystery.

You eyed him curiously. “What do you have planned?”

“If you’re determined to ruin the mystery, I’ll tell you,” he said with a soft smile.

You shook your head. “No, no. I’ll be good.”

“Great. Then we can move on.”

He checked out and you two got back in the car. The two of you drove along, in comfortable quiet, surrounded by the sound of the radio. You laid your head back against the headrest and let the feeling of warmth wash over you. Being around Stephen felt easy, it felt… comfortable. It felt comforting. It was so inviting.

With Loki, you felt like you had to put on a show of sorts. With Bucky, you felt like you had to pretend to be the perfect girlfriend.

With as much as Stephen goaded you, you somehow knew that if you made a mistake, that if you had a rough day, that if you admitted you were struggling, he wouldn’t judge you. He wouldn’t look down on you. In a way, with all the grief he gave you, you knew if you needed help, he’d be there for you.

After twenty minutes, you were at a house, a very nice house.

“What is this place?”

“It’s a home. Mine. My parents home to be exact.”

“So do you live here?”

“On the weekends. I stay on campus, just to get more homework done and not have to commute.”

“Smart.”

“That’s what I’ve been saying.” He smirked before grabbing the groceries and getting out of the car. You followed his lead and he went inside the house.

“So your parents live here?”

“Normally, but they’re in Europe right now. Won’t be back for two more weeks. So this is all mine.”

“Must be exciting.”

“The only exciting thing about is getting to cook, in a real kitchen. Not a hot plate in a room.”

You walked with him around a large quartz island in the kitchen. “Hey, a hot plate has made my life bearable, don’t knock it.”

“Yes, bearable, that’s what I am for in life,” he shot back with an eye roll. “Now, have you ever made a pizza before?”

“Once or twice.”

“Great. Roll out the dough on a sheet. Should be next to the oven.”

You went searching, when you turned around you saw a six burner stove. “Holy shit. This kitchen is serious.”

“You like?”

“I love. I wish I had a kitchen to cook in all the time.”

“Where do your parents live?”

“Oh they live almost an hour away from here.”

“Well if you ever need a real kitchen, just let me know and I’ll be happy to hook you up.”

You smiled and bowed, pretending to curtsey. “Well thank you, good sir.” Again, you looked for the sheet, opening up a custom cabinet to reveal them. You got out the sheet and opened the dough and started to knead it onto the pan.

“What are you going to be doing, while I do all this hard work?”

“I’m going to be creating the best sauce you’ve ever tasted.”

“That’s big talk. If it doesn’t live up to the hype, I can never trust you again,” you stated with a sideways look.

He laughed as he set to working on the sauce at the stove.

“Music?”

“No, i have to work in complete silence,” you said in a stoic voice and face.

“Oh,” he said, frowning to himself.

You couldn’t hold back your laughter and burst out laughing. “Joking, I’m joking, Stephen. Music is fine. In fact, I’ll go crazy if it stays quiet.”

“Oh good. I was about to kick you out if you were serious,” he said with a look of relief on his face.

He then told an unforeseen entertainment system to play classic rock. “This okay?”

“More than okay.”

“Alright, sauce is ready.”

“Crust too.”

“Fantastic,” he mused, happily as he walked over and began to pour the sauce. “Cheese me,” he ordered in jest as he held out his hand. You obeyed with a giddy grin. He sprinkled the cheese and then turned to you. “That enough?”

“Not by a long shot.” You grabbed the cheese and nearly doubled the amount.

He laughed when you were done, grabbing the pepperoni.

“Okay, is it ready?” he asked.

You nodded, eager to just eat.

“Alright, here we go.” He popped it inside the oven and set a timer. “And that’s dinner,” he said happily, crossing his arms, clearly pleased with himself.

“I hope so. I’m fucking starving man.”

“Aww, a woman after my own heart.”

You smiled. “Hey, thank you for… this. I’ve been pretty depressed, clearly, and I’m glad you’re trying to pull me out of it.”

“What do you mean? I just don’t like making pizza alone,” he said with a grin as he looked at you from across the island. He shook his head. “Seriously though, it’s no big deal. I could tell you were upset and I didn’t want to see that.”

“Thank you.”

“Wanna hear a confession?” he asked, looking nervous, or worried.

“Sure, unless it’s that you were given a wager to make pizza with me,” you teased bleakly.

He shook his head. “No, I took a bet to get you to go the store with me.”

You rolled your eyes, making him smile again.

“No, that night at Tony’s party… I didn’t need a ride.”

You stood up, worried he was going to say something shitty. Were you really going to go two-for-two here? But before you overreacted, you waited for him to finish.

“I saw that Loki was being a real shithead to you, and I could see how it affected you. I thought you might like someone to talk to, and I thought maybe you didn’t want to be alone.”

“I still really appreciate that,” you noted with a sideways smile.

“I’m glad I did it. You didn’t deserve what that asshole did, that night or the other thing.”

“You seem to be the only one who thinks so. Everyone else seems to feel like I should’ve seen it.”

“Trusting someone shouldn’t be a fault,” he retorted.

“Thanks.”

“Sure. If anything, Loki being a dick was a good thing, for me at least. Means I got some alone time with you.”

You frowned, ready to question him on that when the timer went off. He pulled out the pizza and gathered plates and napkins. He told you where to find some Cokes, and he cut the pizza. He plated you a piece and then himself and showed you the way to the living room where he turned on something light, house renovation shows.

“What a stupid choice for counters,” you noted.

“Don’t like them?”

“No, they’re going to close in that already small space. It’s stupid.”

“You’re very passionate about this.”

“I’m passionate about everything.”

“I can see that,” he noted.

As soon as the two of you sat down and you bit into the pizza, you turned to Stephen. “Holy shit,” you said, resting your hand on his shoulder, “this pizza is better than some I’ve had at restaurants.”

“Told you, secret’s in the sauce,” he said with a proud grin.

“I’m serious!” you insisted. “It must be the sauce. It’s got so much actual flavor! I can taste the garlic, and the oregano. Oh my god.”

“Be careful there, don’t ruin the fabric of the couch with your orgasm,” he teased and you laughed. Ordinarily, you’d blush, but this pizza was just too good to care.

The two of you ate and drank, commentary on the show flowing freely between you two until the pizza was entirely gone and you were nearly in a food coma.

“So you know why I want to be a psychiatrist, why do you want to be a doctor?” you asked, turning your head towards him.

“Money,” he said, his eyes closed.

You laughed. “Bullshit. We don’t do this shit for the money. Tell me.”

“Prestige.”

“Strange, so help me God, if you don’t--”

“My sister. My sister is why, okay?”

“What’s… what about her?” you questioned, unsure what to say or ask.

“My sister. Uh, when I was 11, I helped her when she got hurt on her bike. I was sort of… fascinated by the experience.”

You nodded, sensing there was more to this story, so you kept quiet, letting him talk.

“But uh....last summer, we were in the pool. She had a cramp… I didn’t hear her. She just… had the cramp and went under. I didn’t see that she wasn’t above the surface until it was… well until it was too late.” He took a deep breath. You could hear his voice getting thicker.

“That wasn’t your fault.”

“I know, but I feel responsible and…. I don’t know. If I can help save one life by being a doctor, maybe it won’t… maybe I’ll repay the debt I owe her.”

You immediately hugged him and he cried. You held him tight, close until he seemed to get it out of his system.

“Stephen, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to push you,” you apologized.

He shook his head. “It’s fine. That’s the first time I’ve said it out loud.”

You gave him a small, sympathetic smile. “I’m honored that you shared that with me. Thank you.”

He nodded slowly. “Yeah, I don’t know what specialty, yet. I’ve thought about tons, but I think I’ll figure it out when I get to med school.”

“Yeah, I’m sure.”

“And you’re dead set on psychiatry, huh?”

Nodding, smiling, you answered, “Yeah, I am. I just… It’s challenging, interesting, and fascinating to me.”

“You’ll do great.”

You reached over and grabbed his hand, squeezing it. “So will you.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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#stan lee university #loki #loki fic #loki x reader #stephen strange x reader #stephen strange #stephen strange fic

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wellhellotragic · 5 years

Text

CSJJ Day 28: A Rather Common Name (2/2)

"Sometimes I can hear my bones straining under the weight of all the lives I'm not living." - Jonathan Safran Foer (Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close)

Well here we are. The end of my final piece. For those who have joined me over the last few years, thanks for taking this ride with me. Thank you to the amazing @profdanglaisstuff for polishing this up last minute. @csjanuaryjoy

Summary:

She hated him. Okay, maybe hate was a strong word, but he was a dick when they met. So why did she tell him about the apartment for rent in her building? And why did she let him in; let him climb her walls? Why did she let herself trust him when every man she'd ever been with had betrayed her? Why did she think he'd be different?

And why, despite it all, did she still love him?

Part 1 can be found here.

If Ao3 is more your thing.

There was something to be said for a life not lived. The way people allowed regrets to build as easily as letters in an unchecked mailbox. Every day choosing to ignore the inevitable arrival of new opportunities. Hoping that by not acknowledging something, it meant that it simply didn’t exist. A road that ends at a fork, a path not taken, a challenge not accepted. But inevitably, everything becomes too much and in an instant, everything can topple. Fate finally spilling over. The choices made, the hearts ruptured. Regrets built on a toxic burial ground where hope went to die.

August had said it once. Quoted it from one of the hundreds of books he’d read. "Sometimes I can hear my bones straining under the weight of all the lives I'm not living." A more eloquent way of telling her that she was missing out. That she was letting everything pass her by. She hadn’t understood it in the moment. Tensions were too high. But he was right. She’d spent her entire life running, building walls as high as her excuses. She wasn’t living, and now... Well now it might be too late.

“There’s been an accident.”

David repeated himself once more in an effort to be heard over the music. It took a few minutes to command the attention of the room, but with those four words, her entire world flipped on its axis.

That’s all they knew.

The apartment cleared out until only four remained. Then only one. The others already on their way in David’s old beat up truck. But Emma stayed, alone, picking up empty cups, trying to keep her mind occupied. No one even questioned whether she was going to join them. They already knew the answer. One year of silence wouldn’t easily be broken.

She couldn't go. Couldn’t face him. Couldn’t face them . If she didn’t go, if she didn’t care , then it wouldn’t be real. So she stayed. She stayed until every inch of the apartment was scrubbed clean. All of the food put away. The dishes dried.

The New Year came and went, just as it had every year before. And just as always before, she was alone. Her eyes stung as they blurred as she began to sob. Outside the window waited the mouth of hell.

The storm continued to rage, wind whipping through her hair. Tears fell from the heavens, camouflaging those on her face. She pleaded with the heavens above to spare a life. A prayer unanswered.

New Year’s Day: One year earlier

They didn’t exchange words. Upon hearing Ruby screaming his name, Emma bolted straight back to her own apartment. Graham called after her, but she couldn’t bear the thought of seeing either of their disheveled faces emerging from the bathroom. Didn’t need to stay long enough to see the aftermath. To watch them sneak glances at each other all night. She needed out.

She saw him briefly the next morning as he emerged from his own apartment to head to work. He smiled at her as if nothing was wrong. As if he hadn’t ruined everything only hours before. But then he saw her, really saw her. The hollow red eyes, puffy face, chewed nails. The smile changed, something small, something disingenuous. She ignored him, sparing him nothing as she took a wide berth to avoid bumping his shoulder. Despite her four mile run, her body was still unnerved, her emotions unbalanced. She was spoiling for a fight. One he nearly gave her as he tried to grab her wrist, asking her what was wrong.

She couldn’t hide it. The way she despised every fiber of his being written all over her face. He’d seen it, guilt etching it’s way across his brow. The corners of his lips tugging down.

“Emma?”

Nothing.

“You saw didn’t you.” His jaw clenched, muscles flexing.

Tears welled unbidden.

“Don’t touch me.” She made it five feet down the hallway before she turned back to him. “I trusted you. You know that? I thought- God, it doesn’t even matter. We, whatever this is, we’re through.”

He called after her.

“ Please, Swan, I can explain if you just give me a chance.”

She never turned back. There was no need. There was nothing he could say to make it better. She’d given him her heart, and he’d shattered it in return.

When they passed each other in the hallway two days later, he tried. He stood at his doorway, keys in hand after what she assumed was a long shift at work, and he just watched her, pleading with his eyes. He looked so small and weary. So guilty. She turned around right away and ran back into her apartment where she stayed for the rest of the night.

Instead of her intended stakeout that evening, she continued to do research on her skip, and if a few tabs on law schools opened themselves by mistake, she made no move to close them. It was time for her to move on. Nothing holding her back anymore. She’d been saving for years. The sole purpose of collecting skips to continue her education, and with her checking account issues finally resolved, her car paid off, and no more reasons not to, it was time.

Months passed as Emma readied herself. She studied for the LSAT, filled out university applications from coast to coast. The idea of picking up and leaving everything behind all too tempting. To leave behind the ghosts of her past, to leave behind the burdens on her heart. But then a letter appeared, properly placed in small white envelope.

Rejected.

The letter was more eloquent than that, but in summation, with very little by way of explanation, it said that once more, she wasn’t good enough.

Hope became harder and harder to hold on to as more of the tiny little letters appeared, all saying the same thing. We thank you for your interest. Rejection after rejection. Eventually the last one appeared.

Boston University, School of Law.

Rejected.

So with nowhere to go, she stayed. Friends’ Friday replaced with Emma Wednesday where the designated beverage was wine and wine alone. Dinner with the Nolans, with only the Nolans. Even the newest and smallest member. She still picked up the odd skip here and there, but with her future gone, there was little to look forward to. No reason to try.

Spring came, then summer. Snow melted and flowers bloomed. Somehow, despite her entire life standing still, the rest of of the world went on around her. Killian still lived down the hall, and from what Mary Margaret told her, Ruby was still sleeping her way through the greater part of Boston. She hadn’t spoken to either of them since January, almost seven months earlier.

Killian.

His number blocked and his knocks unanswered. His gifts returned unopened. She’d cut him out of her life like a cancer. Malignant. Destructive. Deadly. She had no choice. Not after New Year’s. After she finally gave herself permission to open her heart up to him, only to have it crushed in the process.

She’d cut Ruby out of her life too, even if the latter had been too self absorbed to notice at first. A two week window passed before Ruby even realized that Emma was upset, much less with her. But after three missed Friday dinners, Ruby finally confronted her.

Emma, in a moment of complete frustration and poor judgement called her promiscuous and selfish. Ruby told her that she had a stick up her ass. That she needed to stop always playing the victim. Their friendship strained beyond the point of repair. That had been the end of that.

Despite Mary Margaret’s hovering, Emma’s solitude began to consume her. Alienated from half of her friends, it left her wanting for human companionship. To be touched. Wanted. Desired. Eventually her loneliness won out.

Dressed in that same skin tight dress she’d worn countless times before she found herself in a bar. A seedy little number near the edge of the city with her come hither lashes and kiss-me red lips. She’d found him right away. A guy at the end of the bar. He sent her a drink and she sent him back a note on a napkin.

They both snuck away to the bathroom at the back. Scummy. Grimy. Just like her conscience. His tongue twisted with hers, his moans filled her ears. She gave as good as she got, reveling in the feel of his hands on her back. But as one of his palms dipped down past her ass, trying to find its way under her hem, something snapped and she felt disgusted with herself. He called after her in shock and anger, calling her a tease as she ran away.

Emma showered twice that night and threw the dress away. It was sullied. She tossed and turned, sleep ever elusive. She felt rotten, inside and out.

Emma had never been much of a cryer, reserving her tears for truly awful events. She hadn’t cried when Neal left, not even when Walsh had cheated. In fact, from what she could recall, she’d only cried six times in her entire life. Seven if she counted the night a week later.

A song had come over her headphones as she sat in her car waiting for signs of her latest skip. The same stupid song that had played that night. The night they’d almost kissed. Neither had discussed it, pretending it never happened. It never came up, and Emma had pushed it to the back of her brain immediately after not wanting to admit to herself that it might have been nice.

It was a late August night. Killian was in rare form telling her humiliating stories from his childhood. Like that his first kiss had been at 16. There was a party and a bottle pointing at him. Apparently teenage Killian had been a gangly awkward kid with oversized glasses. When the girl leaned forward to kiss him, he’d nearly spunked in his pants. It wasn’t all fun though. There was plenty of complaining about her car, the lack of legroom, the hard seats. The way it stood out like a sore thumb, to which she’d replied that it wasn’t nearly as obvious as the yellow bug she’d had before. She’d then had to explain that the bug had been stolen (both times) which led to her telling him about how she’d actually met Neal. She’d always left that part out when they talked about him before. All while sitting in her little Mini Cooper. She hadn’t even invited him. He’d just heard the name of her skip, admittedly a big guy, and worried about her enough to tag along. Telling him about Neal had led to the story of how she ended up in foster care. A story she’d never told anyone . It wasn’t your fault, Emma. That’s what he’d told her as he held her chin in his hand, swiping his thumb across her cheek. Then he’d leaned in, a hair's width separating their lips and she’d been sure he was going to kiss her. Surprisingly, she hadn’t even pulled back.

Not until the car at the corner started blaring its horn at another driver. They’d moved apart so quickly. It had never come up again. Ingrid or the kiss. She wasn’t sure she’d even heard the song since, but as it played that night, tears fell.

Emotionally and physically spent, Emma headed home. Her skip had never shown. Nothing to show for her troubles. But when she arrived back to her apartment at four in the morning, she found her door unlocked and her kitchen lights on. She briefly considered running down stairs and waking up David, but considering how little sleep he usually got with baby Leo constantly waking up at odd intervals, she chose to let him sleep.

Grabbing a broom from the closet nearest the door, she headed from room to room, looking for signs of an intruder or missing items. Everything seemed fine though, and with a large sigh Emma flopped down on her couch, only to scream when her body came into contact with a large male form groaning underneath her. She shot up, searching from the boorm handle or any other large heavy object she could use to incapacitate the intruder.

“I’ve been meaning to bump into you.”

Emma’s eyes popped open at the recognition of his voice. One she hadn’t heard for months.

“Are you asking me out?”

“I hardly need to ask you out when I’ve already found my way in.”

Emma showed him to the edge of the sofa, allowing her space to sit down beside him.

“Why are you in my apartment anyway?”

He shifted over a little more, allowing him to turn in the table top lamp. He hair was longer than she’d ever seen it. Curlier. His eyes still blue but tired.

“Let’s just say Phuket is overrated. I missed the capitalistic consumerism of the good ol’ U-S-of-A.”

“You mean that you owed too many people money over there so you ran back home with your tail between your legs.” He laughed next to her, confirming her suspicions. “Well, to be fair, you lasted longer than I thought you would. And I know why you’re here in Boston, but that doesn’t explain why you’re in my apartment.”

They stayed up for another hour talking about life. August had gotten in that night and found her spare key in her usual hiding spot, taped to the inside top of the emergency call box in the elevator. He let himself in after waiting forty five minutes. Apparently the guy that had moved into his old apartment was concerned and told him he was loitering and needed to leave. That was his other problem. He no longer had a place, and hadn’t bothered making many friends in the city during his time there. Emma was the only person he knew that would let him crash on her couch for a night or two. A week tops.

A week turned into a month, and August started joining Emma at her weekly dinners with David and Mary Margaret, never correcting their assumptions about the nature of his and Emma’s relationship. Letting her friends believe she was taken had benefits. It prevented Mary Margaret from just barging into her apartment at odd hours. It gave her an excuse to bail on plans at the last minute. But mostly it stopped her friend from trying to set her up every time the saw each other.

Living with him, if that’s what she could call it, had its cons too though. August’s hours were just as irregular as she remembered, and his writing temperament even more erratic. He was messy, drank like a fish, and was constantly eating all of her food. Worst of all, he had a habit of leaving the toilet seat up. Emma found that out the hard way.

They bickered nonstop, and Emma couldn’t help but wonder if that was what it was like to have a sibling. An older brother to drive her crazy, while somehow simultaneously giving her comfort by making her finally feel like she wasn’t alone anymore.

During one particularly intense round of arguing, August had insinuated that she needed to get laid. The suggestion hadn’t been well received and she’d almost kicked him out right then and there. But then he’d explained himself. The Emma Swan he knew had always had a rather lascivious appetite for sex as a stress reliever. He wasn’t wrong. The Emma he knew had no issues putting on a skimpy little number and finding a man for the night. That was before Killian though. She’d already tried that and it had gone spectacularly wrong.

Fighting about her sex life had forced her to reveal things to August. Things she’d skillfully left out of prior conversations. Like how close she had Killian had really been. How she’d realized too late that she was in love with him. How he’d cheated on her. Even about the guy in the bar bathroom.

After she told him the entire story, he just whistled and sat there, taking in everything she’d said.

Finally, he spoke.

“So what you need isn’t to get laid. What you need is a date.”

Emma smacked him in the chest, but he continued.

“No, hear me out. It’s been what, eight, nine months now, right?”

Emma nodded.

“So it’s been all this time, and you’re still in love with the guy.” She opened her mouth but he cut her off. “And before you try to deny it, yes you are. You wouldn’t still be this upset if you weren't. Hell, you weren’t even half as hurt when Walsh cheated on you, and you guys were practically engaged.”

Emma sighed, slumping her shoulders in resignation. He was right. When she’d caught Walsh, she’d been pissed, throwing out everything in her apartment that belonged to him. But with Killian she’d sulked, drowning in her pain, unwilling to let it go.

“Emma, you’re never going to get over him like this. Hiding in your apartment every time you see him coming down the hall. Pretending he doesn’t exist. If you really want to get over him, you need to learn to put yourself back out there. You need to find someone new.”

“I’ll think about it.”

And that was exactly what she did. She went to bed thinking about Killian and her inability to get over him. The fact that even if she was willing to put herself out into the world, she’d still held firm to the idea that Emma Swan didn’t date. Except that she did. Or at least she had, and just hadn’t realized it at the time.

She thought about it the next week and the one after that. She thought about it at the store, on her morning runs. She even thought about it in the shower. But it wasn’t until she was bringing in her latest skip, so lost in thought that she forgot where she was going that the world had given Emma a chance to turn the idea of dating into a reality.

Graham. She hadn’t seen him since that night. Could still see the look on his face that evening. But on that particular morning, dragging Bobby McFarland in for skipping out on his fraud charges, Graham looked different. Happy even.

After she’d transferred her skip over, Graham struck up a conversation with her. They exchanged small talk, which turned to reminiscing, and somehow it had turned into an invitation for dinner. Emma accepted, thinking that it would be nice to have some time to catch up with her old friend. It hadn’t even occurred to her, until hours later when she talked to August about it, that it was a date. Or it was possibly a date. Graham hadn’t actually used that word, but the text he’d sent her asked if she’d been to Luciano’s, an upscale Italian restaurant.

She didn’t even pick out her outfit. After trying on every single thing she owned, Emma had screamed into her pillow. August ran into her room to find her entire closet on her floor and finally told her to just trust him. What he left out on her bed nearly left her in tears. It was that same pale pink dress that she’d hidden deep within her closet. The one that had only ever seen the light of day once.

She thought about throwing it away, just like the red dress, but quickly realized it was the only thing she had that nice enough for the restaurant. So she put it on, and then put on the biggest fake smile she could manage.

Graham picked her up a six, just as planned. The car ride there was fairly short, but the conversation was stilted. Both grappled for something to say. For anything. An odd turn of events given how easily they conversed only hours before. The ordering of their food and drinks went much the same. Both of them trying to start conversations at the same time, then stopping as soon as they realized it. As far as first dates went, it wasn’t her worst, but far from her best.

Finally, after the appetizers arrived, the two of them finally managed to settle into a groove. She discovered that Graham was studying for the Captain’s exam but wasn’t sure if he was going to take it or not. He’s taken a vacation recently and had fallen in love with a sleepy little town in Maine. He was still strongly contemplating a move there, knowing that the Sheriff was retiring soon and looking for a replacement. With his experience, he was a shoo-in.

She told him she that she’d considered leaving Boston at one point too, but fate must have had other plans. She left out the multiple rejection letters from different law schools though. It was humiliating enough without sharing that little tidbit with people.

Around dessert, things turned. Without realizing it, Emma placed her hand on Graham’s hand. It was an innocent gesture on her part, just a reflex after a joke. It immediately caught his attention though, and Graham smiled at her.

They both loosened up after that, staying until the bottle of wine they ordered was finished. Emma drank more than her fair share, knowing that Graham still had to drive home. She was still pleasantly buzzed when he dropped her off, making sure to walk her to the door.

There was a moment. A silly joke that resulted in Emma grabbing his arm as she unlocked the door. She hadn’t seen it coming. He leaned in and kissed her. His lips tasting of the chocolate cake they’d shared at dinner.

She froze.

Graham pulled back, taking a moment to study her.

“Emma, what’re we doing here?”

“What do you want to be doing here?” She did her best to sound coy, but the truth was that she was terrified.

If he rejected her, a cloud of humiliation would follow every time she saw him. But if he did want to move forward, she wasn’t sure what she would even be capable of giving him. Lingering glances, hand holding. Those were easy, but eventually he’d want more, and she didn’t know if she could give him that. Not if she couldn’t even let him kiss her.

“I- When I asked you to dinner, I think a small part of me hoped you would say no. Not because you aren’t a lovely person, but it felt inappropriate the minute the words left my lips. You’re one of Ruby’s best friends, or at least you were. And Killian, he still asks David about you all the time.”

Her gaze stayed focused on the small door knob in front of her, unable to make eye contact with the man across from her.

“Well he has no right to.”

“Perhaps not. Look, Emma, I’m not completely sure what happened that night. I mean, I don't know what led to them finding their way into that bathroom together, and I left right after you did. I’ve never brought it up with either of them, but I can tell you that when Killian came into work the next day, he was gutted.”

“What he was , was hungover. That’s all.”

“And you. I could tell how distraught you were. You still love him, don’t you.”

“Why does everyone think that. I’m over him. Have been for a long time.”

His head nodded slightly as his lips pursed, obviously not convinced.

“I think I’m going to take that job. It’s time for me to move on. Ruby, she’s never going to see me as anything more than a friend. I need to let her go. But you. You still have a chance. You just have to decide if you want to take it.”

Graham gave her a quick hug, and she understood it for what it was. A goodbye.

She gave up after that. It was a stupid idea to begin with. Thinking that a few dates would mend all of her broken edges. Emma was beyond repair. A small bout of depression set in. She slept more than usual, ate less. Yelled at August for everything, even things that weren’t his fault.

It all came to a head just before Thanksgiving. Emma was spoiling for a fight, and August took the brunt of her wrath. Spouting useless quotes like they were the elixir of life.

"Sometimes I can hear my bones straining under the weight of all the lives I'm not living."

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

They’d been going at it for the better part of an hour, and Emma was at the end of her tether.

“You’re not living, Emma. You’re just existing.”

“That’s crap and you know it.”

“Hardly. You run from everything. What kind of life is that? Did you even really let Killian in?”

“Excuse me?”

“Did you really let him in. Or did you keep him at arm's length too, telling him half truths about yourself? God, Emma. You keep talking about how he cheated on you, but you weren’t even together!”

“Out.”

August was shocked, not expecting her to kick him out. Especially not in the middle of the night, carrying all of his belongings in a garbage bag. He pleaded with her to let him stay, just until he could find a place, but she was done. She was done listening to people telling her how to live her life. Done listening to people reminding her of all of her flaws. She was just done.

He left her with one parting thought.

“It’s so easy to hide behind those walls of yours. To block out pain and disappointment. The inevitable betrayal of those who were meant to care about you. And I know you think you’re protecting yourself from heartache, but all you’ve really done is to block out love. A life without love, well what’s the point of living?”

She slept through the holiday. A small bottle of tequila had ensured that. She called Mary Margaret the day before, telling her she was going out of town for work, then turned her phone off. Then she drank. She drank until the small bottle was empty, trying to drown out the sharp pain August’s words had caused. To drown out the look on Killian’s face on New Year’s Day. The sound of Ruby’s voice screaming his name. She drank until there was nothing.

The next day brought with it the worst hangover of Emma’s life. She slept all of Thanksgiving and most of Black Friday away. When she finally woke, it was to a pounding headache and a queasy stomach. So much so that she had to bolt for the bathroom, not even making it to the toilet before she heaved what little stomach content she had remaining in the sink.

She slid down to the tile floor where she continued to dry heave for the rest of the night. The sun rose hours before she finally felt human enough to crawl back into bed. Emma woke again five hours later, still sick, but extremely thirsty. Her body hated her. When she forced herself to trudge into the kitchen for a glass of water, she realized what had woken her.

Mary Margaret was hard as work cleaning out the contents of her fridge and washing dishes to make room for the full tupperware bowls she’d brought up.

“I have got to get that lock changed.”

Her friend jumped, clearly not having expected anyone to be home. Emma lied, telling her that she’d come down with a stomach flu, forcing her to return to Boston early. In an effort to help, Mary Margaret set to cooking up some chicken noodle soup for Emma. The latter tried her hardest not to vomit again at the smell, forcing down small bites as her own personal chef watched her with eager mother hen eyes.

Another two weeks passed before Emma realized that she’d be spending the next set of holidays alone as well. David’s mother was too old to travel but desperately wanted to be with them and baby Leo for Christmas. They agreed to travel to her house in New Hampshire, but Mary Margaret was insistent that they would be back in time for their annual New Year’s party.

Seeing the reluctance in Emma’s eyes, Mary Margaret was quick to add that Killian wouldn’t be there that year. He already had plans elsewhere.

So Christmas came and went. Emma spent the day watching old holiday movies and eating Chinese food, but abstained from drinking any eggnog or other alcohol filled beverage. In summation, it sucked. It was the first time she’d spent Christmas alone since college, and as the loneliness set in, August’s words echoed through her head.

Or did you keep him at arm's length too?

It’s so easy to hide behind those walls of yours.

Without love, well what’s the point of living?

Perhaps he’d been right. She’d pushed away everyone. She was so afraid that everyone would leave her, that she stopped letting them in. And in the end, she was all alone with only herself to blame.

New Year’s came in spectacular fashion. David said they’d barely made it home in time. The storm of the century was apparently bearing down on the city. Only a handful of their invited guests managed to make it to the party. Ones that lived within walking distance. The rest chose to stay put, bundled in the warmth and safety of their own homes. Even Ruby had called off, telling them she was staying with her boyfriend, much to Emma’s relief. The two women still hadn’t spoken since Emma’s verbal lashing of Ruby’s life choices. When the realization hit that her boyfriend could very easily be Killian, she did her best to push the thought to the back of her mind.

The windows sounded as if they were going to buckle from the wind pounding at them. Snow continued to pile up. Emma watched from the door by the balcony, unable to step outside. Eventually Mary Margaret came to join her in watching the storm.

“Well it looks like you lucked out.”

Emma tilted her head, not understanding her friends words.

“The storm I mean. I had this guy I wanted to introduce you to. He’s in insurance. Anyway, he couldn’t make it because of the storm. And I just know how much you love my set up attempts.”

“If you know how much I hate them, then why do you keep pushing these losers on me?”

Mary Margaret chuckled.

“The word loser is arbitrary. But honestly, I just want you to be happy. You’ve been alone for so long now, and I know without a little push, that you’ll never put yourself out there.”

Emma swallowed, taking a deep breath before asking the question that had bothered her for nearly two years.

“Why did you set Killian up with Ruby.”

“Hmm?”

“Mary Margaret. Every year you pick out this guy who I have nothing in common with. Men who I don’t even find attractive. They’re just strays you took in. So why did you set Killian up with Ruby, and me with Jefferson? Why didn’t you think I was good enough for him?”

“Oh, Emma.” Her friend moved in and wrapped her arms around her shoulders in a sideways embrace. “Because, I knew that if I had, you never would have given him a chance. You would have rolled your eyes and shunned him out of spite.”

Emma wanted to argue, but the truth was that’s exactly what would have happened. She would have run as far away from him as possible. Fat lot of good it had done her in the end though. She may have run, but at least her heart wouldn’t have cracked in two.

“There’s been an accident.”

Emma barely heard him over the music and dull conversation noise. She turned just in time to see David climb on top of the coffee table.

“Everyone. I’m sorry but there’s been an accident. One of our friends was hurt. I’m sorry but we’re going to have to cut this party short.”

There was confusion. People trying to guess what happened as they collected their coats. Most people assumed that it had something to do with David’s mother. Mary Margaret tried to ask him what had happened, but he only shook his head, waiting until all of their guests had gone. Only the three of them and baby Leo asleep in the next room remained.

“It’s Killian. He filled in for Lance tonight. Belle went into labor this afternoon so Killian took his shift. I guess he was doing a routine traffic stop and a drunk guy slammed into him. The witnesses told Smee that the driver didn’t even try to stop.”

The world stood still. No sounds, no smells. No light. Everything ceased in that moment.

“Oh, David.” There was a tremble to her friends voice. One she’d never heard before in their decade-long friendship.

“They’re taking him to Mass Gen. That’s all I know.”

Emma stood in her place, unmoving as her friends moved in tandem, packing a bag for baby Leo, changing into warmer clothes. They were out the door before the shock fully set in, and Emma moved on autopilot, cleaning the apartment until it sparkled.

Hours passed as Emma tossed and turned in her bed unable to sleep.

There’s been an accident.

David’s words played on repeat in her mind. A broken record with a scratch. An imperfection magnified. She’d never even told him that she loved him. And now it might be too late. She couldn’t take it anymore, not even bothering to change out of her pajamas. The snow continued to pummel the city. Her Mini Cooper no match for the feet of snow. Even with the city constantly plowing the streets, the snow was too much. She managed to get halfway to the hospital before she spun out, crashing into an embankment, burying half of her car in a wall of white.

Dazed, she was forced to crawl into the back seat, using the force of her legs to kick the door open. She was determined to get the the hospital, even is she had to walk the remaining three miles.

For once though, luck was on her side. A black car pulled up beside her, and just as she was getting ready to tell the driver to get lost, ignoring the way her body was shaking uncontrollably from the cold, she heard it. His voice.

“Hey kid. You’re gonna get yourself killed out here. You know that?”

She heard the locking mechanism shift and immediately climbed inside, hugging Mullins for dear life.

“What are you even doing here?”

“Eh, with the storm they needed all hands on deck. Trust me, it’s a one time thing.”

He shifted the car back into drive. She didn’t tell him where she was going. Didn’t have to. There was no way he’d missed the call over his radio. He did speak, giving her the time she needed to think. When he dropped her off at the entrance to the emergency room, he told her that he’d work on getting her car towed out of the snow ditch. That was it. No words of wisdom. No platitudes. Nothing.

The emergency room was mania. People who’d hurt themselves while drunk. More victims of car accidents. A guy who fell on the ice. It was a madhouse with people everywhere. She looked around for her friends, but couldn’t find them anywhere. In desperation, she slipped through the double doors separating the waiting room from the trauma area, making her way to the nurses’ station.

“May I help you?”

“Ya, I’m- I’m looking for a guy. His name is Jones. He was brought in a few hours ago from a car accident.”

The person at the desk typed away at her computer, seemingly oblivious to Emma’s anguish.

“K. Jones?”

“Yes.”

“Are you family.”

Emma didn’t hesitate, telling the woman quite emphatically that she was.

“He’s in surgery right now. Take a seat in the waiting area and I’ll have someone come out and update you as soon as they know more.”

It wasn’t good enough. She wanted to see him, but the very burly security guard had other ideas, personally escorting Emma back to the waiting area. She found one lone empty seat in the corner at the back of the room. She sat there for ages, waiting for word as the number of people waiting with her dwindled. There were no signs of Mary Margaret or David and she wondered if something happened to them. If they'd become stuck too. Unfortunately, she’d left her phone in her car and had no way to contact them.

More time passed. She watched as the clock ticked past five in the morning with still no word. Finally, the double doors opened and a tired looking man in green scrubs emerged, heading straight towards Emma.

“Jones family?”

Emma nodded her head. Words caught in her throat.

“Mr. Jones has sustained substantial trauma. His still in surgery right now. As I said, his injuries are severe. I won’t beat around the bush with you. They’re doing everything they can, but are you aware of Mr. Jones’s wishes?”

“Excuse me?”

The doctor took a deep breath.

“Is Mr. Jones an organ donor?”

“I- uh- I have no idea.”

The doctor nodded, telling her that he needed to return to surgery.

As a child, Emma had witnessed the single most traumatizing moment of her life. She and her mother had been on vacation in South Carolina. Her aunts were supposed to join them, but the news had predicted that there was a chance of a hurricane landing on their doorstep. Ingrid watched the news, tracking the storm for two days. The hurricane shifted south, and they thought they’d be fine so they stayed, playing on the beach all day.

The tides turned though, and the hurricane came in that night. Emma, not realizing how dangerous it was, ran to the doors, opening them so she could watch the storm come in. Ingrid ran to her, scooping her out of the way just as a palm tree fell in her place, shattering all of the glass in the door.

The wind picked up, and Ingrid cradled Emma in her arms, shielding her from the waves of rain coming through the open doorway. Ingrid tried to stand up, to move into another room, but the wind was too strong, knocking her back down with Emma still in her arms.

Emma couldn’t see anything, her face tucked into her mother’s cheek. But as a particularly harsh gust came, Emma heard her mother cry out, and her arms loosened their grip. Emma looked up to see her mother’s eyes lifeless. She cried and screamed, begging for Ingrid to wake up. Pointless. The storm passed, as did the only family Emma had.

Emma had always blamed herself, holding on to that memory. Never telling a single soul except Killian.

It wasn’t your fault, Emma.

That’s what he’d told her that night in her Mini Cooper. Yet, she still couldn’t help blaming herself anyway.

Losing Ingrid the way that she had had been traumatizing. But sitting there in the back of the waiting room, all alone waiting to hear whether or not Killian was going to survive, well that was somehow worse. The clock passed six, and finally sleep overtook her. The adrenaline of the night finally wearing off.

She dreamed of him. Of him sitting next to her on the couch, watching a movie as they had so many times before. Of him grabbing her shoulder. Of him calling her name in a whisper.

“Swan?”

Emma’s eyes were heavy as she fought off the call of sleep.

“Swan?” The voice repeated.

With all of the force her body would allow, Emma pried her eyes open, stunned by what she saw before her.

“How? How are you here?”

“What do you mean, love?” She could tell by the low timber of his voice that he was hesitant to speak to her.

Emma sat up straight, grabbing his face, checking for wounds. Aside from his hand in a bandage, nothing appeared to be wrong, and she questioned whether she was actually awake or not.

“They said you were in surgery. That-” she felt tears spilling over. “They said you weren’t going to make it. Wanted to know if you were an organ donor.”

Killian pulled back, his mouth pulled tight. He stood from where he was crouched in front of her, tugging her up in the process. He pulled her back through the same double doors she’d snuck through earlier, demanding to know why someone had told Emma that he was dying.

“Sir, the information we gave her was accurate.” The woman turned to help someone else, completely ignorant of the way she’d turned Emma’s life upside down. Emma was ready to snap at her, but when she caught Killian’s eye, she noticed his jaw flexing.

“And you asked for me? Killian?

“Uh, I think. Yes. No. I mean, I asked for Jones, and she asked if it was a K. Jones.”

A smattering of pink tinging his cheeks.

“Ah, I think I see where we’ve gone wrong.”

Emma looked at him. Confusion settling into her blood, cooling the anger she’d just felt.

“You see, Jones is a fairly common name, love. The drunk driver from tonight, his name was Kevin Jones. He hit the car I’d stopped head on. Clipped my hand in the process.”

Emma wasted no time pulling him in for a kiss. It was nothing like she’d expected. His lips were chapped and rough. Unmoving. He tasted of stale hospital coffee. And she’d caught him off guard. Still, even with all of that, it was perfect in its own way. Even if his watch did manage to catch on her hair as he grabbed the back of her head with more force than necessary, finally coming to his senses.

He drove her home that night, calling to check in on David along the way. They’d only made it about a mile from the apartment before they realized that the storm was too bad, turning around and waiting on word from Smee. Luckily, in the time since the accident the storm had passed. She looked for her car on the way, hoping that Mullins had succeeded in towing it back to the station. It took them longer than expected to get home, but Killian had insisted on going slow, not wanting to take a chance with her in the vehicle.

Emma didn’t hesitate to follow Killian to his apartment. Kissing him again once they were inside. He stiffened slightly at her touch, but quickly melted into her. But as she began to pull his shirt up, loosening it from his pants, he stopped her.

“Wait, Swan. Before we go any further, we need to talk. I need to explain what happened.”

“I don’t care. It’s in the past.”

“Perhaps, but I care. I don’t want to start anything with this lingering between us. I want to clear the air.”

It was the last thing Emma wanted to discuss. She’d already gone through enough that night. She didn’t need to relive his fling with Ruby as well. She sat next to him on the couch anyway though. Fatigue taking over.

“That night, I’d just finished getting ready for the party when I heard a knock. Naturally I thought it was you or my brother coming back upstairs for something, so I opened the door without checking the peephole. But when the door opened, it was Milah on the other side. She told me that she’d finally left her husband and that she wanted me back. And then she kissed me. I wanted to push her off but it was so unexpected. I was frozen, stuck in time while the rest of the world kept speeding around me.”

Emma waited until he was ready to continue.

“When I came to my senses, I pushed her away and told her that it was too late. That I had already moved on. That I was happy with someone else. I was so upset after seeing her that I went inside and had a glass of rum to calm my nerves, but one glass turned into two, and then three.”

She couldn’t look at him. She understood. She’d have done the same thing if she’d seen Neal or Walsh. But now that he’d opened Pandora’s box, she couldn’t help but remember all of the pain she’d felt for the last year. That his poor choices had led to it.

“So that’s when you came to the party. That’s when you found her. After you’d had all the rum?”

His head tilted as he watched her. The confusion apparent in the way his eyes crinkled at the edges.

“Emma, what are you talking about? “

“Last year.”

The words nearly caught in her through as the image of that night played through her head once more. He’d been pissed and drank too much. Understandable, yet somehow it didn’t help to ease any of the pain she still felt.

I never made it to the party last year.”

“Yes you did!”

“Love. I assure you that I never left my apartment that night.”

She studied him. His eyes never left hers. His hands never twitched. No signs of a lie.

“Emma, did you actually see me ? Hear my voice?”

“But, Graham, he said he saw you with Ruby. Saw your- I heard it. She screamed out your last name for God’s sake.”

Killian barked out a laugh, much to Emma’s consternation.

“Swan. I wasn’t the only Jones in the building that night you know.”

He waited, as the gears turned in her head.

“Liam?”

As I said before, love, it is a rather common name.”

#csjj #csjanuaryjoy #a rather common name #cs fanfic #csjj 2019

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ilovemyships · 5 years

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unruly hearts week - day one (favorite character)

alyssa greene

prepare for a (spoilery) ramble! cause that’s what i do best!

okay, so, for me alyssa is my favorite character because i see myself at 15 - scared and in the closet - in her. the difference is alyssa has a girlfriend and also really great hair while i had neither. but i think she’s one of the most relatable characters in the whole show.

her character arc is one of the most important in the show - she starts out terrified; sneaking glances at emma from a distance and jumping out of her skin when her mother nearly catches them holding hands in the hallway. she has her back turned to emma at the start of “dance with you”, and then when emma begins the chorus, she takes a deep breath and her whole body starts to relax.

(as an aside, last month i had the absolute privilege of somehow seeing the prom from the front row of the orchestra and izzy’s physical choices actually killed me so this is as much of an izzy mccalla appreciation as it is an alyssa greene one.)

alyssa lives in fear, and in longing, and in a feeling of entrapment - but the one thing that grounds her is emma. more on that come day five. but my point is that in act one, alyssa is at her bravest when she has emma beside her. she plans to come out with emma at prom, even though she’s scared, because when it’s the two of them together she feels so much stronger.

when she gets tricked into the whole fake prom scenario by her mother and her so-called best friends, that rips the ground from under her. she pieces together what must be happening to emma, and then gets told that kaylee and shelby know about her relationship with emma, and that’s why she wasn’t let in on the secret.

the horror she feels in that moment overwhelms her. i think a lot of us have had a moment like that - where you suddenly find out that someone knows about you, without your permission. all the bravery she’d had is gone; and so she goes to the thing that grounds her. she calls emma.

but emma is hurting and alone, too, and she doesn’t believe that alyssa had nothing to do with the utter humiliation she’s being put through right now. she asks alyssa to come and meet her, and alyssa wants to. she wants to be with emma, so that they can comfort each other, but the thought of one more person knowing her biggest secret right now is too much to bear. when faced with the prospect of telling her mother she’s gay, the words just rush out.

“i can’t! it’s bad enough that kaylee and shelby know!”

she doesn’t mean it like that, obviously, but she’s panicking. the music is too loud, the crowd is too stifling, her mother’s stare is too intense. and to top it all off, she’s probably just ruined her relationship with emma.

come act two, and we see a very different side to alyssa. she is finally able to let out some of her frustration at her mother, and the way her life is, through the song “alyssa greene”. the song starts with a very military-style feel which slows and breaks away on the line, “and you wish there was a world where you were simply free to live.”

i would like to point out at this moment that miss izzy mccalla is the master of simultaneously crying and singing and it is very very upsetting to watch. thank you izzy for making me cry, and then for sympathetically laughing at me when i told you that you made me cry simply by crying yourself.

as soon as the music transforms, and alyssa starts singing about how she wishes she could be, we see the very core of her character. she feels like she always caves in, and she is sick of it.

“you’re not yourself, you’re not what she wants, you’re someone in between.”

she comes to a realization here, i think, that she can’t continue on as she has been. because she can be one of two people: she can be the person she wants herself to be, or she can be the person her mother wants her to be. right now, she’s neither - and so something has to change.

but when emma asks her if she’ll go public with her, all alyssa can say is that she wants to. because she does, more than anything, but in her mind she still can’t. and emma breaks up with her, as much as it’s clearly killing her to do so, because everything is too painful right now.

and alyssa cries.

and i cry.

when we as the audience next see alyssa, she’s watching emma’s “unruly heart” video - and has been non-stop, if mrs greene’s comments are any indication. this video inspires her so much, and she can see all the support emma is getting because of it. and maybe she’s starting to believe that she can do this, too.

so, she takes a breath. and she tries to come out to her mother.

it’s interesting to note that in the broadway version, this scene actually isn’t the first time alyssa tries to come out to her mom. during “tonight belongs to you” she tries to tell her mother what’s going to happen, but she gets shut down. because mrs greene definitely knows that her daughter is gay, but she really really really does not want to confront that fact.

here, alyssa tries to come out again.

“mom, we have to talk about what’s really going on here. we can’t keep avoiding this just because it’s uncomfortable. i love you, and the stupid thing is that--”

once again, she is promptly shut down. her mother yells at her to stop, and grabs her by the arms, and possibly for the first time alyssa recoils. mrs greene pushes her too far, and alyssa finally, well and truly, stands up for herself. and although she’s been watching emma’s video non-stop, she does this all on her own, without emma holding her hand.

she tells her mother that she doesn’t want to be a part of her shit anymore, and storms off, and as an audience member i’ve never been prouder. (until her next scene, anyway).

speaking of, when alyssa comes into the gym not long after to find her mother once again spreading hatred and ignorance, she can’t take it anymore. she’s scared, yes, but she’s starting to realize just how brave she can be. so she tells her mother to listen, and she delivers this beautiful little speech about how much better it is to be yourself even though it can be hard.

“i don’t want to hurt you. i don’t want to hurt anyone, i just... wanna be me.”

and this is what alyssa’s character comes down to. she never wants to be somebody that causes pain but, at the same time, now she won’t let anyone stand in the way of her becoming who she is. i feel like maybe, for a while, alyssa very much repressed the idea of being gay. she didn’t want to be herself. but over time, and probably with some help from emma, she found that truly being herself was the thing she actually wanted most in the world.

and with her public declaration of love for emma, she does it.

emma says “holy shit” and so do i, because wow you guys, this was the part that i started sobbing and never looked back.

alyssa is honest with her mother, her life is already hard no matter what she tries to protect her from, and with the promise of a talk later - alyssa watches her mother go. she’s still slightly in shock, but it gives way to the giddiest kind of relief once emma points out that she just came out in front of everyone.

and then we all know what happens next. she and emma get their dance, and they get their kiss in front of everyone - also, their kiss is literally the climactic moment of the entire show which is something i think i’d only dreamed of ever seeing in a musical - and yes i’m still sobbing at this point, why do you ask?

my point in a nutshell is that alyssa grows so much over the course of the show, through a combination of book, score, direction and acting - and it’s incredible to watch. emma may arguably be the main character of the prom, but alyssa is just as much of the heart of the show as her girlfriend, and izzy mccalla definitely doesn’t let you forget it.

so thank you, alyssa greene, for being a character that so many people can see themselves in and finally feel represented. because feeling seen in the media and art you consume is so important. again, i’ll probably have more to say on that specific point later in the week, but i feel like this post is already way too long. can you believe i sat down at my laptop ready to write out some bullet point headcanons?

#unrulyheartsweek #the prom #the prom musical

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sweetnestor · 5 years

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this is not a dream #9 | stop you’re scaring me

the real reason ethan was taken under the teamiplier wing | teamiplier/ego au

WARNINGS: suicide, murder, blood, self harm, drug abuse, alcoholism, sex addiction

read at your own risk.

previous.

Needless to say, Ethan had to pay for the damage. After Kathryn helped him clean up, he left behind whatever cash he could get ahold of and fled. He took his flight to Maine a little earlier than planned - that’s what he told the group chat, anyway.

The only thing is, he didn’t remember sending that message. He didn’t remember leaving, either.

To say that Ethan was shell shocked by his own actions was a bit of an understatement. He knew he had a knack for destruction every so often, but to break an entire couch with his bare hands? To cause damage through screams like El on Stranger Things? Hell, to fucking kill more innocent people?

Yes, over the last few months, Ethan found himself crying in some alley covered in blood because he took another life. He always called the team, and they helped him every time. Maybe that’s why he never left. He wouldn't know how to clean up his own mess and get away with it. He didn't even know how the team got away with it. To the public eye, these people were just YouTubers. Influencers. Idols. Good people.

That thought made Ethan's insides turn heavy. He was considered good people too. People online thought he was good people. Maybe some of those people were dead because of that thing, he would never know.

He was stronger than he thought, and he couldn’t control it. He was dangerous. He was bad. He should be on every kind of medication, or even locked up. He should be dead, but we all know how that ends up.

Was he going to turn himself in, though? Ethan sat in his car, parked in an abandoned lot on the outskirts of LA. He didn’t take anything with him when he left. He didn’t have any sort of getaway plan. He couldn’t even think. He didn’t remember getting into the car. This stupid thing did everything for him and landed him here. Didn't even get him very far.

Ethan just wanted to know why this was happening.

“I told you to stop this,” he spoke at last. He was sweating and shaking, breathing so hard that the windows fogged up. He couldn’t help but think of each time he saw one of his friends in this state. Did they feel as shaken up as he did in this moment?

Maybe he had to go back and talk to them. Ethan sat up in his seat and shook himself. He wiped away the tears and slapped his cheeks a few times, trying to get himself together again. He’d have to go back eventually, right?

He turned over the engine and took a deep breath. He had to face the music - the very loud, very disturbing music - eventually. Then, he adjusted the rearview mirror, only to discover a figure in the backseat. Immediately, Ethan jumped and tumbled out of the vehicle, his heart pounding.

There was a shadow. It was already dark inside the car, but Ethan could make out a shadowy figure in the back. He backed away, terrified, but then he felt something knock him over. An invisible force pushed him on his chest and made him hit the back of his head on the pavement. He landed directly under one of the lamp posts, the light nearly blinding him. Ethan squinted, disoriented. The silhouette of a person stood over him. The outline was oddly familiar, but still terrifying.

Then he felt something hit his chest, making his sternum crack. Slowly, each of his ribs broke one by one. Ethan cried and whimpered, convulsing and cringing.

“Please…” he begged through a strained voice. “I-If you want to kill me… just do it… please. I want this to be over…”

The mumbling filled his ears, sending another wave of intense panic. Ethan tried to bring his hands to his ears, but any movement caused even more pain in his ribs. He started to yell.

“Stop this! Please! I just want this to be over! I'll do anything! Please just stop!”

And then Ethan sat up with a deep gasp. There was nothing standing over him. He didn’t have any pain in his chest or ribs. The only thing that hurt was the back of his head. His car was exactly where he had parked it. He looked around the parking lot, not another person in sight. It was all in his head. Why couldn’t have someone just decided to rob him instead? Why couldn't he have been murdered once and for all?

Cautiously, Ethan got to his feet and dusted himself off. He slowly stepped towards his car, checking the surroundings. He felt weary as he sat inside again. It was more than obvious that something was very, very wrong. He still felt like he being watched. He could still feel the figure in the backseat, even if he couldn’t see it. He already knew what it looked like anyway. He knew what those eyes looked like.

“Please…” he said helplessly as he placed his hands on the steering wheel. “Please… just stop…”

Whatever it was probably grinned wickedly. It's black eyes creased through the mirror. It made every hair on Ethan’s arms and back of his neck stand up.

His face suddenly fell, and his head went limp, hitting the steering wheel. His eyes closed, and when he opened them again, they were pitch black.

“I told you guys not to have the party here!” snapped an angry Mark.

He and the team had just arrived to the trashed office on Kathryn’s call. In hindsight, it had seemed like a good idea to show Ethan the truth about what he is. But instead, they ended up with a damaged workplace and a friend who had gone off the radar.

“At this point, it would be easier just to tell him,” Tyler said as he stepped inside the place, gazing at the pile of broken furniture, ruined birthday decorations, and wasted food scooped up under the broken window. He shook his head in disbelief.

“What, and have him think we’re insane?” Mark bitterly replied.

“He thinks he’s the crazy one,” Amy spoke after some silence. For once she wasn’t smoking or shooting up. “His thoughts are so loud, even I can catch them.”

“You sure it’s his thoughts that are causing that?” Her boyfriend’s tone suddenly changed. He grew concerned. “Maybe it’s… you know.”

Amy sighed. “Then we already know what’s gonna happen.” Then she started itching at the side of her neck, noticing her peeling skin. She pulled her hand back and saw her skin getting caked under her nails. Startled, she dug her fingers into her neck again and pulled. A piece of her flesh came off like some stretchy glue. “Shit…”

It wasn’t the first time the team had seen something like this, but it was never easy. Tyler looked away, Kathryn placed her hand over her mouth, and Mark… he just had a look of heartbreak on his face. He knew what this meant, and he never liked it.

“Are you even gonna come back this time?” he asked, a hint of resentment in his tone.

“I always do,” Amy replied, not sounding reassuring at all.

“Okay, so we have to stay put for you,” Kathryn said, diffusing the tension. “Which means we can’t go out and find Ethan.”

“He said he was flying to Maine tonight,” Tyler said. “So we won’t see him for a couple of weeks, right?”

“I checked his apartment,” Mark told him. “Well, I didn’t… but he didn’t take anything with him. He’s still in the city somewhere.”

Thinking about Ethan made him angry all over again. Mark paced around the room, running his hand over his face. He looked at the floor, at the pile of rubble. How could a guy of Ethan’s size do something like this?

“Fucking coward can’t even show his face…”

“Better here than somewhere he could get in legal trouble for,” Tyler pointed out. “We can’t stray too far out these walls, remember?”

“Now we don’t have any walls to stay within!” Mark’s voice echoed. “He’s destructive and out of control!” He cracked his neck. “How long will these fucking mortals keep us waiting?”

Kathryn immediately looked around the room. Any bottle of liquor that had been coveted was now destroyed. She turned towards her boss again, watching his eyes roll into the back of skull just before he collapsed to the floor. This was bad. She slipped out of the room before they could spot her.

As soon as Dark was out, Peevils and Stoneface appeared too. The room went black, and their auras shone bright. The air was tense, angry. Dark was flickering all over the place, making the lights spark and burst.

“I don’t feel good,” Peevils said, out of breath as she slid down to the floor. “I can’t be here for very long.”

“We need you right now,” Dark told her as he appeared standing in front of her. “You’re the most… compassionate of the three of us. When the time is right, you need to be the one to speak to Blank.”

She sighed as she leaned her head back against the wall. “But my mortal… look at her!” She ran her fingers through her hair, pulling out a shocking amount of strands. She scratched at her chest, practically peeling off pieces of skin and leaving red, inflamed flesh underneath. “She’s falling apart. I need to go and fix her.”

“Perhaps, it’s time to find another mortal?” Dark suggested. “This one is… wearing thin. It would be much easier to find a new mortal.”

Peevils looked up, glaring at him. “Mine is wearing thin? Yours is all but-”

“Another time!” Stoneface cut her off. “What about Blank? What about the human? She could help us.”

“The human?” Dark repeated with disgust. “She went to get her friends’ coping items. We know whose side she’s on.”

“So why haven’t we killed her yet?” Peevils wondered. “If she’s so bad, then why haven’t we gotten rid of her?”

Dark looked at her, a hard look on his grey face. “Why would you even ask that?”

The blonde shrugged, unfazed. Then she raised her eyebrows, detecting the first sign of vulnerability, and she read him for the first time. “Oh… I see.”

“What is it?” Stoneface asked.

“Don’t you dare,” Dark growled.

Peevils scoffed and ran her hand through the image, once again reminding herself that she couldn’t touch him. “And what will you do about it? You’re nothing but a hallucination.”

Just as she was about to stand again, she was pushed against the wall. She felt an intense pressure on her neck, and then she was slowly raised up into the air. Her eyes widened in fear as she choked and sputtered, spitting up human blood.

“Dark, stop!” Stoneface yelled, trying to counter the attack with his mind. He succeeded, relieving the pressure.

As soon as Peevils was dropped to the floor, hey greyish yellow aura went away. She kept coughing and gagging, pulling at her hair and neck. Heavier tufts of hair were falling out, and blood kept dripping from her mouth.

“If the mortal goes, then Peevils goes!” Stoneface yelled at Dark, who had appeared by the broken window. “Do you want that?”

Dark merely stood on the other side of the room, his hands behind his back.

“You’re... “ Amy coughed violently. “You’re… nothing… without us…”

And that’s when Kathryn burst through the door again, ready to bring her friends back.

______

next.

#blankgameplays #blankgameplays fanfic #darkiplier fanfic #peevils #stoneface tyler #kathryn the girl does The Most #teamiplier #tinad #sweetheart writes #song: control by halsey #soz for the lag #i lost my motivation for writing abt ethan centric things :(#i will definitely finish this fanfic and let it rest finally #theres 4 parts left

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valkyrieofsmut · 5 years

Text

Engel de la Gargouille Section 2 part 8

Engel de la Gargouille (Gargoyle’s Angel)

Kurt Wagner/ Nightcrawler x Female OC

Overall series warnings: Smut, bit of violence, swearing, German (translations provided, but I have bad grammar… Sorry native speakers…) French (translations provided, but they are mostly like Google translations, as I am VERY new to French) (Translation help/ corrections are always welcome) (Will be added as they come up) Chapter warnings will be added individually as well.

Types: Smut, Angst, Mutual pining, Pregnancy, Romance, Love, Insecurity, Long as hell…

A/n- Sorry, I had to wait until I was able to get to my computer to put the keep reading and stuff back in (not to mention stomach sickness). Well, here we go with the attempts at talking again... really, it's hard to write someone so awkward, let alone two people. But please remember that Angeline has not ever learned how to be herself around anyone (in fact learning to hide who she is and never show herself), and Kurt grew up with everyone but his small family spouting hate at him for the way he looks, and thinks that the only way he can get a girl to fall for him is using his image inducer.

Masterlist Series Masterlist

Story!

Kurt looked into the woman’s face-

Sherrie? Was that her name?

He had trouble remembering anything but Angeline’s name, and was half afraid that he’d slip and moan to her while alone with another woman.

And there was another reason he felt guilty; Angeline had been helping with gardening earlier, and he’d been staring at how her jeans hugged her ass as it waved through the air to her music while she weeded, and now she was all he could think about.

“Sherrie, I’m sorry,” he told her, and she looked up from her dinner.

“Why?” She asked. “Because you’re not paying attention to what I’m saying? What’s on your mind?”

Kurt shifted uncomfortably. “Ah, it’s work stuff,” he bluffed. “But, no, that’s not why. I mean, I am sorry I'm not paying attention, but- I just… I’m sorry. There’s a girl at the school- I guess I should say woman,” he corrected. “I just… I can’t get over her,” he told her.

“Well, I knew there was a woman you weren’t over yet, but, she still lives there? How long ago did you go out?” She asked.

“We- we didn’t,” Kurt told her.

Her brows rose. “Well no wonder you can’t get over her, then,” she told him. “Look, I don’t deserve this-”

“No, you don’t,” Kurt agreed. “That’s why I was going to suggest that we go our separate ways.”

“Well then,” she stood and gathered her things. “Thank you for dinner.”

She left, and Kurt could tell that she was angry, but he couldn’t do anything about it but sigh.

... ... ...

Kurt sat with his arms around his knees and wrapped his tail around his feet, looking down from the roof of the mansion at the steps.

He didn’t feel any better.

He had tried to become compatible for his angel of love, and after hearing how experienced she apparently was, since she wasn’t fighting the rumors, and deciding that he didn’t want to be embarrassed by being a virgin if he ever actually got to be with her, he’d set out to find practice.

He knew that the experience that he was getting was a gift from the women he collected it from, one that he'd hopefully one day be able to give to Angeline, and he had mostly been gearing up for practice by thinking of the things he wanted to do to her so he could practice them and give them a test run.

He was still a romantic at heart and he knew it was important for both parties to enjoy the practice, and understand that it was just practice, so he didn’t date just anyone, but he was starting to get quite the list of experience by the time he’d gone to the roof to think.

He stared down at the stairs and the wall against them.

It had been nearly a year.

He was tired of it.

Of everything.

He wanted to be with Angeline so badly, but she wouldn’t even look at him, probably didn’t know that he existed as a real man with real feelings.

He wondered if it was just him that was affected by the tingling zings when they touched in the danger room. Sometimes so much that he had to disappear and take a cold shower after the run.

As he stared down at the wall, a familiar winged figure walked out and sat on it.

Angeline sat down, sighing in discontent.

It was so draining to keep up her facade of perfection; sounding sweet and happy all the time, though she was sad and lonely inside.

Luckily she’d had so much practice from when she lived with her mother and stepfather.

All she wanted was to have some sort of a real friendship, hopefully with someone who didn’t want to make her life hell for fun.

She groaned.

Kurt was so wonderful to all the girls he’d been going out with, a real white knight…

If only he’d see her as a woman, a date, a love interest, something other than the stupid, annoying little girl she probably appeared to be on the outside. If she could have that in her life, maybe it wouldn't be so lonely...

But he wouldn’t, so she couldn’t.

It had been a rough year and a half, but she was a survivor, and she’d lived. But she didn’t know how much longer she could stay here with no one but Logan for company.

He wasn’t a terrible person, just closed off, and she didn’t think he would be good to have a real, long, sit down conversation with.

A girl about the age of thirteen or fourteen with short, spiky black hair and a set of huge shades atop her head stormed from the doors and threw herself down at the other end of the wall.

Angeline looked at her, and almost did nothing. But this girl was upset, and obviously needed someone on her side. If there was one thing she could still do, it was try to be a good person. “What’s wrong?” She asked after a moment.

“They’re all mad at me,” the girl almost pouted.

“All of them?” Angeline asked.

“They all hate me because I accidently blew up the stereo!” She cried. “It’s not my fault, that’s why I’m here, right?” She demanded.

Angeline looked at her, silent for a moment, but she could feel the honesty in this girl, and it warmed her. She suddenly smiled and threw her arms around the younger girl. “I like you,” she declared. She let go and flapped her wings to effectively jump from the wall. “If you want to listen to music, I have a better way to do it. I have this game, and the controllers aren’t connected to the console, so if you fry one, it’s- well, they’re a little expensive, but it wouldn’t ruin the whole thing,” she said. “Come on.”

The two girls walked off into the mansion as Kurt watched. He sighed, almost pained.

Why couldn’t she do that with him? He put his hand to his forehead. ‘I guess I will have to give up on her. If she hasn’t wanted me for this long… She never will...’

Kurt tucked his chin to his chest, trying not to let the pain hurt him, but failing.

... ... ...

Angeline walked with Jubilee down to the ballroom where they were having Kitty's goodbye party, hearing the music before they even got to the door. As they entered the room, Angeline looked up, laughing at the decorations. The room was semi dark with speakers and a dance floor on one side and a table of refreshments on the other. Multicolor lights flashed around the room, momentarily lighting up everyone's faces in turn.

“This looks very much like something Kitty would like,” Angeline commented, and Jubilee laughed.

They went in, seeing Kitty surrounded by people, and decided that they would wait until she was less busy to go say goodbye. Jubilee pulled Angeline to the dance floor and started dancing. Angeline moved as well, but in the practiced moves she'd learned, and Jubilee stopped her, laughing and calling over the music, “You don't have to dance like that, just dance naturally!” Angeline shook her head to show her confusion. “Like, just dancing, no choreography!”

“I- I guess I don't know how,” Angeline admitted.

Jubilee laughed again. “Ok, I'll show you.” She started moving around in fluid motions, but not anything that was predetermined.

Angeline followed her for a moment, getting the gist of it, but then a song that she recognized came over the speakers. “I know this song!” She said excitedly.

“You know every song!” Jubilee told her, rolling her eyes.

Angeline let the music flow through her and her body moved, her arms swinging, her legs stepping, her body shifting, and her wings fluttering. They stretched up, flapping lightly at the joint, straightened down, the tips flapping back, came up behind her, shrugging, and Jubilee started laughing. “What?” Angeline demanded. “Am I doing it wrong?” Jubilee shook her head, but still couldn't stop laughing. “Then what?”

Jubilee pointed at her wings. “They're so expressive!” She burst out laughing again, and Angeline kept dancing, rolling her eyes good naturedly as her tail swayed with her.

Kurt stood next to Kitty, his eyes staring into the distance where Angeline was dancing. She looked so beautiful, and the way she was moving; while they were all innocent movements, it was very sexy to him. Kitty looked over at him and nudged him. “Maybe you should go talk to her.”

Kurt shook his head, giving a laugh. “Talk to who?”

“You know who, Kurt!” She sighed in exasperation. “The same girl you've been ogling for like, two years!”

Kurt shook his head again. “Kitty, this is your goodbye party. It would be rude of me to run off-"

“Kurt, do it as a gift to me! For crying out loud, go talk to her!”

“I will talk to her, just, not right now,” he told her. Kitty put a hand to her face and sighed in exaggerated exasperation.

Angeline looked up as a man came closer to her and Jubilee, monitoring him. “Hey, you wanna go get something to drink?” He asked, and it was hard to tell who he was talking to. The only thing she could tell right off was that he was too old to be hitting on Jubilee, and he was bigger than either of them, which wasn't hard, as she was only five foot one, and Jubilee was five foot five.

Angeline stopped dancing and stepped so that she was partially blocking Jubilee from this man. “Pardon?”

“I asked if you wanted to get a drink,” he told her.

Angeline felt her wings shuffling a little. No, she didn't want to leave Jubilee, who had made great progress with her powers, but still didn't quite gave control over them, alone over here in a place where she felt that some of the male population may not be able to be trusted. “No, thank you,” she answered.

“Come on, it's just a drink,” he tried to persuade her.

Angeline felt the shiver up her spine that she felt when she saw a man trying to corner a child. She had to be strong, she had to keep them safe. She had to stand up to whoever was the perceived threat. “No,” she said. “I do not want a drink with you.”

“Ok,” the guy said and headed off.

Realization that she had just told someone no, and managed it on her own, dawned on her, making her giddy. She felt so powerful in that moment. She felt confident. She bet she could talk to Kurt right now. She looked up and saw him next to Kitty. “Come on!” She told Jubilee, grabbing her hand and pulling her along as she hurried through the crowd to where Kitty and Kurt were standing, now not crowded.

Jubilee let go of her hand, seeing what was happening. “I'll let you do this part alone,” she told her. Angeline looked around and saw Logan nearby, making eye contact, nodded and continued up to Kitty and Kurt.

“Hello!” She cheerfully greeted. “Kitty, I hope you are having a good time.”

Kitty smiled back to her, “Yes, it's really fun!”

Angeline's smile brightened. “Kurt, I was wondering- if you'd like to dance with me?”

Kurt swallowed, feeling like his stomach had suddenly become a bag of wiggling eels. “I- I don't know how to dance,” he told her, struggling to get the words past the lump in his throat.

Angeline paused, but came back with, “me either. But Jubilee was showing me how. Maybe she could show you, too.”

Kurt felt his heart pounding, attempting to get out of his chest and run to her. He wanted to dance with her, he really wanted to hold her in his arms and teach her the dances he knew, but he was afraid that, with the way she was making him feel, he was going to trip over his own feet and land on her, or in a pile with her, and make an ass out of himself, or make her hate him.

Kitty nudged him toward Angeline. “Yeah, Kurt, I'm sure Jubilee would show you.”

“I- I should spend more time with Kitty, after all, she is leaving,” he told Angeline, trying to keep the tremor out of his voice.

“I don't mind,” Kitty butted in.

“No, you're right. It might be a long while before you get to see your friend again. You should spend as much time with her as you have left,” Angeline agreed with Kurt. She gave a smile, then turned and went back to Jubilee.

“What's that bull about you not knowing how to dance?” Kitty demanded.

“I panicked,” he defended.

“Freaking- just go talk to her! Don't dance, just talk!” She insisted.

Kurt shook his head. “Kitty, every time I try to talk to her, I get all flustered! I can't speak correctly, or I start daydreaming about kissing her- I'm a complete idiot when she's around!”

“Kurt-" Kitty started, but he cut her off.

“Seriously! I'm not ready, Kitty!”

“It's been a year and a half, like, almost two years, Kurt. You have been practice dating for like a year, why aren't you ready?”

Kurt swallowed nervously. “I- I don't know, I mean, I'm just trying not to let my heart jump out of my chest when I'm around her. Kitty, I am making progress, I can say a few sentences without sounding like a moron, but that's it..”

Kitty sighed and put her hand on Kurt's shoulder. “Promise me you'll talk to her when I'm gone,” she told him.

He nodded. “I will, Kitty.”

Tag list!

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ironwoman359 · 6 years

Text

A Sanders Carol Chapter Nine

A Sanders Carol Masterlist

Ch.1, Ch.2, Ch.3, Ch.4, Ch.5, Ch.6, Ch.7, Ch.8, Ch.9, Epilogue

Summary: Dr. Logan Sanders is perfectly satisfied with his life, thank you very much. He has his work, he has his position. His bills are paid, and his lifestyle is primed for optimum health. And he is far too busy maintaining his perfectly balanced lifestyle to worry about things like Christmas, much to the dismay of his few remaining friends. Hardened by years of working to get ahead in his field, nothing is capable of swaying his cold heart, not even the dire straits of his graduate assistant or the pleas of his closest friends.He also does not believe in ghosts.So when he suddenly finds the ghost of his old mentor in his apartment warning him of three more spirits to come, what will he choose to believe? Will Logan take the spirits’ words to heart in time to change his ways, or will the fate of his future be sealed forever?

Pairings: Platonic LAMP/T, Platonic Logicality (could be read as pre-romantic)

Warnings (for the whole fic): Death mention, illness, hospitals, allusions of child abuse/neglect, ghosts, lying/deception, Deceit character, crying, angst, please let me know if I need to add anything!

Chapter Word Count: 2,331

Logan lifted his head just in time to see the ghost’s cloak wrap around him, obscuring what little vision he had in the spirit’s void. He closed his eyes on instinct, and when he opened them again, he was on his hands and knees in his living room, with sunlight streaming through his window.

Logan froze for a moment, then clambered to his feet, rushing forward to the window and flinging it open. A blast of cold air hit his face, and he squinted against the brilliant glare of sunlight reflecting off of freshly fallen snow.

Logan breathed in deep and relished in the cold that stung his skin and the light that stung his eyes. A horrible thought struck him, and he scrambled to find his phone, but as he pulled it from his pocket and lifted it up, relief swept over him. It was eight in the morning, on precisely the day it should be. A notification caught his eye, and he opened his messenger app to see the slew of texts from Virgil that he had ignored so foolishly.

patton told me what happened today

c’mon man, i just wanna talk to you

you can’t ignore me forever, logan

Logan quickly typed out a reply, not bothering to review it before sending like he usually did.

Virge...Oh my god, Virge, I am so sorry. God, I’ve been so stupid. I can’t...I don’t even know how to...GOD Virgil, I’m SO sorry.

Logan hit send, then dropped his phone on his couch, his head spinning.

"The party," he whispered to himself, then his eyes widened. "The party! The party is today!"

Logan turned and rushed into his bedroom to put on fresh clothes. He was about to put on one of his usual dress shirts when he saw the lumpy package from Thomas he had discarded earlier that week in the back of the closet. He pulled it out and tore the paper off, revealing a sweater with a carefully knit test tube wearing a scarf and (somehow) holding a songbook on the front. Beneath the cartoonish figure were the words “Oh Chemistree, Oh Chemistree” bookended by music notes.

Logan rolled his eyes at the pun, but he couldn’t stop the fond smile that grew on his face as he slid the sweater over his head. He grabbed his comb from the nightstand and ran it through his hair before hurrying back out into the living room. He picked up his phone, and grinned when he saw Virgil had replied.

omg...logan?

woah, ok, i wasn’t...wtf dude are you feeling ok?

Logan laughed as he sent his reply, grabbing his hat and coat as he did so and searching around the apartment for his shoes.

Yes Virgil, I am quite well. Better than I have been in a long time, in fact. I can see why you might think otherwise, but that is all the more reason I have to be sorry.

Logan found his shoes and quickly pulled them on, then all but ran out the door. He hurried down the stairs of his building, not bothering to wait on the elevator, and only slowed when he reached the snow covered steps outside.

As quickly as he could manage in the snow, Logan got into his car and drove through the streets he had hovered over the night before. Everything looked so different in the daylight, so much clearer and sharper, and Logan relished every second of it.

Soon, he found himself at his destination, and he all but tripped hurrying up the steps of the modest house that Logan hadn’t been to in so long...at least, not physically. He knocked on the door, and only after he did so did a hint of apprehension crawl its way into his chest.

What if he was being foolish? What if it was too late, and he had already had enough of him? He wouldn’t blame him, he deserved whatever rejection he was liable to get, but he had to see him at least one more time, had to apologize.

Any remaining doubt evaporated the moment Patton opened the door, his auburn curls a mess and a holiday apron tied around his waist.

“Logan!” he exclaimed, his voice full of shock, confusion, but most of all delight.

Logan threw caution to the wind and surged forward, wrapping the surprised man in hug, burying his face in the slightly shorter man’s shoulder. Patton only stood frozen for a moment before he returned the hug, his grip almost as desperate as Logan's own.

Logan let out a shuddering gasp as he realized just how long it had been since he’d had a real hug from anyone, let alone from Patton. Patton’s hugs were warm and safe and all-encompassing, practically impossible not to feel at home in.

“Logan?” Patton asked, pulling back slightly and staring up into Logan’s eyes. “Lo honey, what’s wrong?”

Only then did Logan realize he was crying, and he shook his head, unable to speak. He pulled Patton close again, and would have liked to stay there in that moment for the rest of time, if Patton hadn’t pulled him away from the front door.

“Lo, honey, you’re shaking. Let’s get you inside and get this door closed, okay?”

Logan laughed wetly and nodded, allowing Patton to drag him indoors and help him take off his snow covered shoes. Patton gasped when Logan removed his coat, revealing the handmade sweater underneath.

“Lo?”

Logan turned and faced Patton, and he wanted to say the perfect thing to express just how sorry he truly was, how much he regretted everything he’d said, everything he’d done, but when he saw Patton’s blue eyes wide and full of awe and hope and maybe a few tears of their own, he found he couldn’t properly form sentences.

“Patton...Patton, God I’m so sorry,” he gasped, then the words were tumbling out faster than he could even process. “You were right, oh my God Patton, you were right about everything; you were right about Marley, you were right about me, you were right about Christmas, and oh God I messed everything up Patton, I nearly ruined everything and I understand if you hate me I really do I just needed to tell you, needed you to know how sorry I am, I’m so sorry, I was stupid, I—”

“Shhh…” Patton soothed as he pulled Logan into another hug. “Hush now, Lo-Lo, it’s alright...everything’s alright now.” He kept murmuring gentle, careful words as he guided Logan to the couch.

Patton sat beside him, and once Logan could bring himself to meet his eyes, he saw they were shining...with tears, yes, but something else too. Something that Logan sometimes had trouble putting words to or understanding, but something that he knew nonetheless was very real.

“I mean it,” he whispered, his voice raw. “I’m really, really sorry.”

Patton smiled at him, and nodded.

“I know Lo...I’m s-sorry too, I—”

“No,” Logan interrupted, reaching for Patton’s hand and squeezing it. “You have nothing to apologize for, none of this was your fault. I know you’ve heard that before, and I know you don’t believe it, but it’s true. It was all me, Pat, and I know I can never make up for it, but—”

“You don’t have to,” Patton whispered, cutting him off. He reached and took Logan’s other hand. “You’re here now. That’s enough.”

"I...I came for the party," Logan muttered, wiping his eyes. "I didn't want...I've missed too many of them, I couldn't miss another."

Patton raised an eyebrow, and his smile took on a teasing nature.

"Well...I'm happy to hear that Lo, but...it's not even nine am yet. The party isn't until two."

Logan laughed, his heart lighter than it had been in ages.

"Well, I didn't want to be late."

Patton giggled, but his attention was stolen by his phone ringing on the side table next to them.

"Oh! It's Thomas, hang on," Patton said as he answered it, and Logan suddenly felt nervous. "Hi Thomas! You won't believe who's here with—what? Oh, yeah! Yeah, that's what I was trying to say...he's here right now! Yeah! He came over like, ten minutes ago." Patton looked over at Logan and grinned. "He seems just perfect to me. Okay, sure, see you soon. Bye!" He hung up, and smiled again at Logan.

"Thomas is on his way! He'll be here any minute. Hey...hey, what is it, Logan?" he asked as Logan put his head in his hands.

"I just...I hope he can forgive me," he muttered.

"Aww, Lo," Patton crooned, pulling Logan into another hug. "It'll be okay, I promise."

The two of them stayed like that until another knock sounded at the door. Patton gave Logan a reassuring smile, then got up to answer it. Logan shuffled uncomfortably, then stood and took a deep breath. Whatever happened, at least he'd be able to apologize.

"Hi Thomas!" Patton said cheerfully, stepping aside to let a bewildered looking Thomas enter the living room.

The two cousins found themselves face to face, and Logan did his best to keep his voice steady and maintain eye contact.

“Hello, Thomas...Merry Christmas. I believe that an explanation is in order for my—OOF!” The wind was knocked out of Logan as Thomas crushed him in an unexpected hug.

“Virgil called and told me what you said, but I didn’t think...I didn’t realize you'd come here!” Thomas cried.

“I’m...I’m sorry, Thomas, I understand if you’re upset, but I simply wanted to—”

“Upset?” Thomas interrupted, pulling out of the hug with a stupid grin on his face. “Logan, I...I’m thrilled you’re here!”

Logan smiled back shyly.

“So am I,” he whispered, and Thomas pulled him close again.

Logan lost himself in the embrace, never wanting it to end.

As it turned out, he didn’t have to worry much on that front, as later when Roman and Virgil arrived, they were equally willing to reciprocate when he hesitantly offered them a hug and an apology. Roman’s arms were as strong as Virgil’s were gentle, and again Logan marveled at the fact that it had been so long since he’d allowed himself feel this warm.

"I don't get it," Roman said as the five of them worked together to prepare for the rest of Patton's guests. "Why this sudden change of heart? Just yesterday you were slamming emotional (and physical) doors—Ow! Virgil, don't kick me—and today you're down for the holiday spirit? Ow! Virgil!" Roman swatted at Virgil who was shooting him a death glare.

Logan laughed at their antics, which seemed to surprise both of them, then he paused. How much should he say? How to deliver the truth without making them think he'd lost his mind...

"Logan?" Virgil asked, and Logan smiled up at them.

"Last night...I did a lot of thinking," he said. "I honestly don't know how it happened, but I started thinking about everything that happened...about us in general, and about Christmas, and...I don't know." He shrugged. "I just realized that...that I've been wrong. This whole time. Horribly wrong, and it nearly destroyed everything that I care about, I..." Logan took a deep breath, feeling tears beginning to pool again in his eyes. "I just...saw how close I'd come to losing all of you, and I couldn't bear that. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry."

He screwed his eyes shut, feeling a hot wave of shame come over him, but before he could even properly register it a strong pair of arms was wrapping around him, then another and another, and then all five of them ended up on the ground as the attempt at a massive group hug ended up causing them all to lose their balance.

Logan laughed, and buried his face in the crook of someone's elbow.

They would be okay.

Later, the rest of Patton’s guests arrived, and Logan found himself smiling and laughing, making conversation with people he once had called friends but had pushed away years ago.

“I didn’t know you were coming this year!” Larry Fezziwig had cried after warmly shaking Logan’s hand, and Logan had to laugh.

“Honestly Mr. Fezzi—Larry, neither did I.”

It was a little bit awkward, but Logan found he didn’t mind so much when he was surrounded by people that he cared about so much...and that he knew cared about him. The living room was light and warm and full of the same joy that had been present in his visions, but the visions paled in comparison to how real this was, how tangible the feeling was inside him. When it came time for the white elephant gift exchange and Logan sheepishly admitted that he hadn’t brought any gift, Patton pulled him to his feet and engulfed him in another hug.

“You’re my best friend, Lo-Lo,” Patton whispered as warmth spread throughout Logan’s whole being. “That’s all the present I need.”

A chorus of awww’s rang out through the room, and Roman and Virgil started an argument about whether or not that meant Logan could have a bow placed on his head and sent home with somebody. Logan laughed along with the others, and even allowed Roman to stick a gold bow in his hair, though he opted to just sit out and watch the rest of the guests participate in the gift exchange.

By the time the last of the goodbyes were said and it was the original five friends alone in the house again, Logan felt fuller than he could ever remember feeling...but there was still one thing he wanted to do.

“Hey, Virge?” he called to the emo, who was in the kitchen with Patton washing empty cocoa mugs. “Can you call Ari and have her make sure there are a dozen screamers ready for me?”

Virgil raised an eyebrow, but nodded.

“Sure, I guess I can do that. Why though?”

Logan took a deep breath, then looked around at his friends.

“There’s someone I’d like you all to meet.”

[Previous Chapter] [Epilogue]

#ts-storytime 2018 submissions #ts-storytime #sanders sides #sanders sides fanfiction #logan sanders #roman sanders #patton sanders #virgil sanders #thomas sanders #ts fanfic #fanfiction #my writing #a sanders carol

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tatttletalesocial · 5 years

Text

Steven: Isolation

"Hello, Starlight," the enormous Diamond crooned.

Steven stood quaking in his sandals.

It was only the second time White Diamond had called upon him, but he was already rather intimidated by her. Like the other Gems had warned him, she was . . . different. He had never seen anything like her.

She gazed down at him through lidded eyes. Her smile was empty.

"I do hope you're settling in well. I'm sure your playtime must have been exhausting for you, dear. Everyone really is so glad to see you back and ready to behave."

Steven flushed. He could never have imagined that a tone so sweet could be so cruelly condescending.

"How have you been settling in, Pink?"

Steven felt too miserable to answer. She had left him in Pink Diamond's room for at least twenty-four hours without anything to eat or drink, and nothing to sleep on. Pink Diamond's enormous room was just a mass of smooth polished surfaces. He was aching all over, his mouth was dry, and his stomach twisted in hunger.

He hadn't had a single person to talk to since he had been locked in. He couldn't see anything outside, either — he couldn't discern the slightest detail about how his family was faring for the bizarre bright light whiting out the windows.

There was a tense, expectant silence in the room. He snatched a glance at White Diamond, still smiling softly down at him as an adult would a stupid child. He could somehow feel that the conversation would not progress in the slightest if he did not reply.

"It's been—"

"Wonderful. I'm so glad." White Diamond's expression did not change. "Blue and Yellow have been asking about you."

He perked up, hope rising in his chest. "They have?"

"Yet I have told them that no one is capable of seeing you at the moment," she continued, ignoring him. "We wouldn't want anyone ruining your period of rest, would we?"

He didn't say anything. He just stared down at his feet, trying to suppress the shivers running through his cold, exhausted body.

"Of course, we do have to see about getting you another Pearl. Your old one . . . disappeared, around the time you left."

Her tone told him that she knew exactly what had happened with that Pearl. He felt fear rise in his chest.

"Is she okay? Are the Gems oka—"

"I would prefer a specially made Pearl for you, Starlight. It will take at least a few years before I can give one to you."

She batted her eyes. "Perhaps we can put that failed colony of yours to some good use. And, of course, we do need to realign your Court. That shouldn't take nearly as much time . . . unless you would prefer some new Gems altogether. After all, any self-respecting Diamond would have a Court devoid of any defective Gems."

Her emotionless drone was unbearable. He lifted his head to look at her, and was met with those brilliant, white, sightless eyes. Eyes that seemed to pierce right through his soul.

White Diamond was obviously unaware that he was organic. He was sure that if he went into that room again, he would starve or dehydrate. Noticing the chilled silence, he took advantage and inhaled a sharp breath.

"I want to go home!"

A moment's silence. White smiled at him endearingly. "Of course. I will send you back to the comfort of your own room."

"That's not my HOME!" he cried, feeling desperate. "I want to go back to Earth! Please!"

"Oh, Pink. You're not still obsessed with that failure?"

"It's . . . not—"

"I see. I will make sure to give you plenty of time before entrusting you with your next colony."

"I DON'T WANT ANOTHER COLONY!" he was surprised she was even letting him get through full sentences, but he ploughed on. "I JUST WANT TO GO HOME! I HATE IT HERE!"

White's eyes flashed.

For a moment, everything was terrifyingly still.

"I thought we established that we were finished with games, Starlight."

Steven knew he was on shaky ground, but by this time desperation had taken over completely. "This isn't a game! I want to go home!" . . . Literally shaky ground.

The room trembled as White's expression tightened. "Very well." With what seemed like a flicker of her consciousness, she summoned her dead-eyed Pearl out of nowhere. The ghostly Gem skimmed over the floor to stand rigidly beside Steven.

"We will discuss this later. Our next meeting will be in a few months."

A few months! Under house arrest!

"I expect you will not cause any trouble until we can talk again. I hope to see you when you have rested sufficiently."

Clearly she thought his behaviour was the result of some sort of exhaustion hysteria.

Her expression relaxed, and her lips curled the slightest bit further. "Enjoy yourself, Pink!"

And he was bubbled again. Before he knew it he was back where he had started.

He sank to his knees, trembling. He was never going to get out of here. He couldn't push away the thought that he would never see Pearl, Garnet, Amethyst, his dad or Connie again. It felt too cold and unreal a possibility.

A faint musical sound made him lurch to his feet. There was a door-shaped panel glowing at the bottom of the wall in front of him. It was much smaller than any other doors he had seen thus far.

The panel opened and in strode a well-built purple Gem. Her long pale locks swayed as she walked.

. . . An Amethyst guard.

In a few long strides she was in front of Steven, bending at the waist to press something into his hand.

"There's water in the fruit. They're coming for you. Don't worry."

And with that, she straightened and strode purposefully through the sealing panel, gone as suddenly as she had appeared.

Steven's eyes dropped to his closed fist. What had she given him?

He uncurled his fingers. In his palm sat an egg-sized blue fruit and a crumpled strip of paper. He sat, set the fruit down and unfurled the paper first.

A familiar, elegant hand greeted him.

Dear Steven, We're on our way to get you out. Hang in there for us. In the meantime, the other Amethyst guards will bring you food. Love,

Amethyst GARNET Connie + Pearl.

He sighed, recrumpling the paper. Then, on second thoughts, he shredded it and stuffed it into his pocket.

He pulled his knees to his chest and bit into the sugary fruit. He trusted his family. He would be free soon.

All he had to do was wait.

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nadjaofstatenisland · 6 years

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HAPPY EARLY BIRTHDAY TO MY WIFE AND PARTNER, @penelopeblosscm

This is probably crap and it went every which way. So many ways I didn’t think it would… but it’s all for you, Alexa. Enjoy.

I swear this is the one thing that probably won’t make you cry.

whole thing under the cut or read on AO3 or ff.net

“Hal’s drunk,” Mary hisses in her ear.

Alice shrugs her shoulders up so Mary will take a step back. Her eyes dart quickly to the boy on her other side. His thumb is tucked into the waistband of her leather skirt and she’s torn between wanting him to dip it a little lower and wanting him to let go of her. They’ve been at the party all of thirty seconds and he somehow has a beer in his other hand already. Mary’s hiss was low compared to the music blasting, but FP’s ears still perk up. He turns to Mary.

“Oh thank God,” he shouts, each word a little louder than the last. He takes a long pull off his red cup before offering to her. She declines. “Coop is at his best when he’s plastered.”

He nudges Fred with his elbow, but Fred’s face stays stony. He has the same expression on he’s been wearing for the past six weeks now and Alice still isn’t sure who’s it’s more directed at - her or FP. He lets out a noise of acknowledgment, but doesn’t say a word. His lips are pursed in a very un-Fred like way and it creeps Alice out.

“You think I can get him to jump off the garage again?” FP asks. He downs the rest of his beer and starts looking around the room. “He could probably make it to the pool from there, right? He did it at -”

“Stop it.” Alice startles herself when she realizes the words came out of her own mouth. “Just stop. Don’t start anything tonight?”

FP looks down at her, amusement dropping from his face. “When do I ever start shit?” He rubs his thumb along her bare skin so she knows he’s just messing around, but she doesn’t like it. The action is far too intimate and it makes her skin crawl with goosebumps. Not in the way it was supposed to. He digs his thumb out of her waistband when he sees her discomfort, but keeps his hand where it is. “You okay?”

She combs her long hair back with her finger and walks into Mary. “Maybe I do need a drink.”

He tilts his cup at her. “Grab me another beer too while you’re at it, babe.”

“Not your babe.” She grabs Mary by the arm and walks away without taking his cup.

“Hey.” FP grabs her arm and spins her back around. Alice lets go of Mary and glares at him. “What’s eating you?” She shrugs. “For real. What’s with you?”

“Nothing. Jesus.” She runs her hand through her hair. “I just don’t want to sit through a night of you being an asshole, that’s all.”

“Christ, Allie. It was a joke. Don’t get so bent out of shape. You want me to leave Coop alone, I’ll -”

“Don’t call him that!” Her voice comes out too loud and she gets a few looks. She grits her teeth. “You know his name, FP,” she says much calmer. “Don’t be a dick.”

His face drops. “I’m sorry, okay? I won’t mess with Hal. Can we just have a good time?”

Alice’s eyes dart to Fred and Mary, still standing right behind FP. Neither tries to hide their eavesdropping or disappointment. Alice wraps her arms around herself.

“Yeah, sure.” She forces a smile. “A good time.”

“You’ve got to be kidding me.” Fred lets out a harsh laugh and shakes his head. “Mary, you mind taking these two home later? I think I’m heading out.”

Mary pouts. “You guys just got here.”

“Yep. And I’m already sick of being here. You’re a pal, Mare.”

Fred shoves his way between Alice and FP, forcing them to jump out of his way. He storms off towards the door and FP shoots Alice a curious look. She shrugs and takes off after him, FP on her heels.

“Fred!” she yells as he walks down Rick Mantle’s front lawn. Cars are parked haphazardly all down Miller Street and Alice gets an ache noticing Hal’s is right in front. Leave it to him to get to a party early. What was he even doing here by himself?

“Stop following me!” Fred yells over his shoulder. “I’m not talking to you guys!”

“What’s your problem?” Alice yells after him. She’s feeling a million emotions and the last thing she needs to add on top of her list of worries is Fred being mad at her. “You’re acting like a child!”

Fred stops his pace just as they get to the edge of the yard. He turns around and nearly runs right into FP. His lip pouts out as he shakes his finger at Alice. The only light comes from a streetlamp some twenty feet away, but Alice can still make out the tears glistening in his eyes.

“A child?” Fred asks, his voice cracking. “Are you fucking kidding me? You!” He points to Alice. “And you!” And then to FP. “You two are the fucking children here.”

“Freddy.” FP puts his hand on Fred’s shoulder and Fred smacks him away. “What’s going on with you?”

Fred lets out a laugh and throws both of his hands in his hair. “What’s wrong with me? What’s wrong? Now you ask?”

“Come on, man.” FP throws his arm over Fred’s shoulder. Fred tries to shove him away, but FP doesn’t budge. Just takes a few steps closer until they’re right in front of Alice. “Talk to us.”

Alice kicks her feet in the dirt uncomfortably. She feels all too much like they’re freshman again and Fred is feeling like a third wheel.

“Is this about Hermione?” FP finally asks. “Because if you’re really -”

“My dad is sick,” Fred blurts out. “My dad is sick and you two don’t even care.”

The sinking feeling returns to Alice’s stomach. “I mean, when you said sick we thought you meant -”

“Thought I meant what, Alice?” Fred shrugs FP off of him and crosses his arms. “That he had a cold? The fucking flu? No. You two didn’t even ask. Ever since we got back from spring break everything has been a fucking wreck.” He runs his hands through his hair. “He has cancer and it’s bad and neither of you have even asked about him since I told you.” Fred points at the house. “Mary there? She’s visited him three times already. And you two? Jesus. Last time I said I was feeling down you asked me if it was about Hermione!”

FP shoves his hands in his pockets. “I’m so sorry, Freddy. We’re sorry. We’ve just been -”

“Been what? Busy?” FP shrugs. “Busy ruining both of your lives, that’s what? Fucking around? Running with a gang? Fucking each other?”

Alice’s face grows red. “What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

Fred shakes his head. “You two are a disaster together. Disaster. You don’t… you’re too goddamn similar. I love you guys, but you don’t work together. Alice, you’re only falling back on FP for comfort because you broke up with Hal over something stupid and you’re too proud to apologise. And FP, you’re only messing around with Alice because you’re afraid to commit to anyone else. Even when you could have your pick of the goddamn litter. Someone right - you’re both idiots.” He gestures between them. “Are you guys a couple? Are you dating?”

FP looks to her and she shrugs, eyes falling back to the ground.

“You guys don’t even know! That’s amazing. Thanks for proving my point.” Fred reaches into his pocket and pulls out the keys to the Volkswagen. “I’m leaving. I don’t need friends like you two, okay?”

“Freddy.” FP reaches out for him. Something flashes through Fred’s face and Alice is unsure if he’s going to cry or throw a punch.

He cries.

Fred collapses in FP’s arms. His weight takes FP by surprise and they both end up on their knees on the Mantle’s front lawn. Alice takes the few steps to them and throws herself onto Fred’s back. She meets FP’s eyes and he’s holding back tears too.

“I’m so sorry, Fred,” she whispers into the back of his head. “We’re shit friends.”

Fred lets out a wet snort. “You guys really are.”

“We’re the fucking worst,” FP agrees. He rocks Fred back and forth until his sobs turn into a chuckle. “You should trade us in for Hermione and Hiram. They’d probably be better friends than us.”

He lets out a real laugh that time. “How? Hermione still hasn’t talked to me or Hiram since the cabin.”

All three of them laugh at that. They sit there for a few moments. Three friends in a messy, wet hug on a classmate’s front lawn. No newcomers to the party pay them much mind. Dogpile on a front lawn was typical Saturday night behavior.

“I’m sorry I called you guys a disaster,” Fred finally says as he wipes his face clean. “If you guys are happy together, that’s your own business.”

Alice meets FP’s eyes. He has on his brave face - the same one she’s been able to read since they were kids - but his eyes are sad. He gives her a nod anyway and turns to Fred.

“We’re not together, Fred,” he says clapping him on the back. “In fact, I think Alice wants to go work things out with Coop. I mean,” he shoots her a smile through his hurt eyes, “Hal. She wants to go work things out with Hal.”

Alice bites the inside of her cheek. “I do?”

“Of course you do, Allie. You’re kind of a miserable bitch when you don’t have him to boss around.”

Fred howls at that one. “He’s not wrong.”

Alice picks up a small rock from the grass and flips it in her hands. “I don’t know. Hal’s been hanging around Penelope lately. I figured she was trying to move in on him.” She sighs with her entire body. “She’s probably here with him right now. He’d never come to a party alone.”

“Oh please.” FP lets out a hearty laugh. “Like that redheaded prude holds a candle to Alice fucking Smith?”

“As if Hal has ever looked at another girl besides you?” Fred asks. He gives her shoulder a playful punch. “Do you need our help, Alice?”

“I mean.” She finally looks up from her rock. “Would you guys?”

“Anything,” FP says earnestly. “We’ll do anything.”

“And tomorrow, we’ll come over, Fred,” she says. “We’ll see your dad. I swear.”

Fred wraps an arm around either of them. “Three musketeers. Lets do this.”

The room is spinning and Hal just wants to be home.

“Here. I brought you another beer.” Penelope presses a red plastic cup into his hand. She smiles brightly at him and he feels a pang in his chest. “You look like you can use a refill.”

“Thanks,” he mutters, taking it from her. He squeezes it a little too hard and a bit sloshes to the floor of the Mantle’s kitchen. “Fuck.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll grab some paper towels.” Penelope flounces away and Hiram clicks his teeth from two feet away. He places his hand delicately on Hal’s back.

“I think you’ve had enough, pal.” Hiram wraps his free hand around the brim of the cup and pulls, but Hal doesn’t let go. He raises it to his lips and gulps half the cup before taking another breath. Hiram tuts.

“How many is that now? Six? You’re going to be sick.”

“You’re the one who always tells me to loosen up. Have a good time.”

Hiram cranes his neck and looks out the kitchen door. “Well shit. I think any chance of you having a good time tonight just walked through the door.”

Hal gulps. “Who is it? Alice?”

“Don’t look, but -” Hal spins around, sloshing more beer to the tiled floor. “Real smooth. I said don’t look.”

He sees a flash of Alice’s curly blonde hair before it disappears past the doorway.

“She’s terrible,” Hiram insists, clapping his friend on the back again. “You don’t need a girl who’ll treat you that way. Cut your losses and run.”

“I can’t.” Hal pulls from his cup again, not even knowing how it’s nearly empty already. “You don’t understand.”

Hiram turns Hal around and puts a hand on either of his shoulders. He squeezes him gently, looking him straight in the eye.

“No, Hal. I don’t understand.” Hal’s eyes wander to the ground and Hiram gives him a little shake so he looks back at him. “Explain it to me?”

“I love her.”

The answer is so simple. So quick. Hiram gives him a look like he’s about to smack him, but instead he just sighs and loosens his grip on Hal a bit. He feeds him a sad smile.

“I know you love her, man. I know that. But I’m your friend and I need to be honest with you.” His eyes back to the doorway, as if Alice was going to pop back up. “I don’t think she loves you anymore. I think you need to move on.”

“I can’t. Alice is amazing. I love her, Hiram. Love her. She’s smart. Fearless. Talented. Not to mention the prettiest girl in school by miles.”

“Who’s the prettiest girl in school?”

Hiram jumps at the voice. Penelope’s back holding a brand new roll of paper towels, eyeing Hiram’s grip suspiciously. Hal notes the smile Hiram forces. He always told him Penelope wasn’t the ideal girl he had in mind for him. But, he assured him, if he had to get on top of one girl to get over another, might as well be her.

Hal had no interest in getting on top of another girl. Or getting over Alice.

“You of course, Penelope.” Hiram adjusts his grip and slings his arm over Hal’s shoulders. “Hal was just telling me how pretty he thinks you are.”

Penelope’s face flushes. “Oh? I don’t know. There are probably prettier out there.” She fiddles the roll of paper towels in her hand. “Do you really think that, Hal?”

Hal’s face falls, as well as the pit of his stomach. “Sure, Pen. Of course you’re pretty.”

“Thanks,” she says softly. She presses her lips together for a moment as she looks at him. Her eyes go back to the ground. “Oh, the beer. Let me.” Penelope starts unrolling paper towels and Hal takes them from her.

“I’ve got it. I made the mess.”

“Are you sure? I don’t mind.”

Hal doesn’t feel like getting to the floor, but once he’s down there it seems like a comfortable place to be. The room spins less from lower down.

“Penelope!” he hears a familiar voice call. “Are you in my history class?”

FP approaches them. Hal quickly looks up at Penelope and sees the sour look across her face. He’s hidden by the kitchen island and hopes FP doesn’t notice him.

“Depends.” Penelope crosses her arms over her chest. “Are you ever actually in class?”

Hiram kicks him lightly. When he looks up at him, he’s jutting his head towards the kitchen door.

“I’ll distract him,” Hiram mouths. “Go.”

He gives Hiram a thumbs up and abandons the spilled beer and wad of paper towels. Hiram hops on a stool and leans across the kitchen island.

“Hey, FP,” he says brightly, cutting Penelope off. “You know where I can score some coke? Alice around?”

Hal lets out a groan as he crawls away from them. Good old Hiram. Always well intentioned, even if incredibly misdirected.

“Hal!” A pair of beat up Converses greet him once he passes through the kitchen door. He looks up to see Fred grinning down at him. “What the hell are you doing down there?”

Hal sits back on his knees. “I dunno. Escaping. Also,” he closes his eyes, “ I drank a lot and I just don’t feel great.”

Fred takes his arm and gives him a pull. Fred’s not remotely strong enough to move him, but Hal gets up on his own away. He stumbles a bit and Fred grabs him.

“You know what you need, man?” Fred asks. “To lie down. Let me take you upstairs.”

Hal starts laughing. “Are you trying to seduce me, Fred?”

“You wish.”

Fred leads Him up the stairs, one hand on the small of his back, the other holding his arm.

“One at a time, bud. One at a time. Left foot, right foot. Left foot, right foot. Left foot, right -”

“Shut up,” Hal mutters. “You’re not even saying it in tune to our steps. How the hell do you have a band?”

Hal knows the words came out meaner than he intended, but Fred just laughs again.

“Since when are you a mean drunk?”

“I’m not drunk. I’m just really tired.”

“You’re really tired because you drank half a keg, dummy.”

They get to the top of the landing and Hal tries to pull his arm away from Fred, to no avail.

“I didn’t drink half a keg. Don’t be stupid.” He trips on the plush carpeting of the Mantle’s second floor and is thankful for a moment Fred hasn’t let him squirm away yet. “We’re drinking out of 16 ounce cups. There are 15 and a half gallons in a keg, which would be just under 2000 ounces. That’s roughly 125 beers. Half of -”

Fred pulls him to a stop and spins him around. Instead of grabbing his shoulders like Hiram, he grabs him firmly by each arm and shakes him. “Stop doing math! You’re drunk! Who does math when they’re drunk?”

Hal’s turning a lovely shade of green and Fred lets up with the shaking. His head wobbles a bit before stopping with the rest of his body.

“Was I right?” he finally asks.

Fred sighs. “The fuck if I know. I can hardly handle math as it is. Come on.” He takes Hal by the arm and starts leading him down the hallway. “Do you need to hurl?”

Hal grimances. “No. God, don’t talk like that. Then I’ll start thinking about it.” Hal covers his mouth with his arm and talks through it. “And if I think about it, I might have to do it.”

“We can stop by the bathroom if you have to.”

He shakes his head. “I just need to lie down.”

“No time for that. You’re a man on a mission.”

“I’m a what?” He uncovers his mouth as Fred examines a closed door.

“Don’t worry about it. You’ll find out soon enough.” Fred tilts his head at the door and finally shrugs. “This must be it.” He places his hand on Hal’s back again and turns the handle. “Good luck.”

“Good luck?” He takes a step towards the open doorway. It’s dark, cluttered. A closet. “Fred, what are you -”

Fred gives him one good shove and he stumbles into the closet. He reaches quickly behind him to grab the door, but Fred pulls it closed before he can. The light clicks on and when he spins back around, the pull-string from the overhead light dangles right in front of his face, making him dizzy. He closes his eyes and takes a step back so he’s up against the door, the knob digging into the small of his back.

“You miss me?” a voice asks softly. He knows its her before he even opens his eyes again. Her vanilla perfume fills the small room. It’s the cheap kind of perfume that comes from Riverdale Drugs and not Spiffy’s Department Store. She won’t let him buy her the real stuff and he learned not to fight it. “Hal?”

His eyes stay shut and he doesn’t let up until he feels her hand on his cheek. He opens one eye slowly and there she is in all her glory. Loose hair and leather skirt and white tank top. Wearing the earrings he got her for their anniversary.

Her voice is flirty, playful. Every kind of wrong for the situation. “You’re not dreaming, tiger.”

He tries to scoff, but it comes out more as a sputter. “Of course I’m not dreaming, Alice.” He wants to brush her hand away but he misses the feel of her hands on him. “Fred just shoved me in here.”

“Hal,” she whispers. She runs her hands around his neck and links them. Something in the act reminds him of Penelope in the front seat of his car last weekend and he tries his hardest to shake the thought out of his head. “Don’t be like this.” He turns his head away and fixes his eyes on a battered Candyland box on one of the shelves. “Didn’t you miss me, babe?”

“What are you doing, Alice?” he asks flatly.

Alice tugs his head down, but he keeps his neck straight. The closet is dim, but her blue eyes are shining. “I missed you, Hal.” She goes on her tiptoes so her mouth is hardly an inch from his. Her breath smells like cigarettes and spearmint chewing gum and just a little bit like lies. She moves closer and closer until it feels like she’s sucking the breath right out of him. “Tell me you miss me.”

He opens his mouth to tell her something - that he misses her, hates her, loves her, doesn’t know how to forgive her - but she closes the gap before he has a chance. Her lips meet his and he’s lost to her again.

Part of him wishes he hadn’t drank so much. Another part of him knows the lightheadedness has nothing to do with the beer and everything to do with the girl in front of him.

His hands fall to her waist. Her skirt is leather, so instead of pulling her in by the belt loops, he digs his nails into her and draws her against his body. She moans into his mouth in response, moving her hands from his neck to cup his face. Her holding him like that again is almost enough to make him forget what’s happened. Make him apologize to her even though she was the one who -

“No,” he says as he breaks apart from her and lets go of her hips. She grinds against his body and he’s embarrassed he’s already growing hard. She laughs and grabs his belt.

“Come on, Hal. You never say no to me.”

He puts his hands on her shoulders and presses her away. “No, Alice.”

She doesn’t fight against him. Just takes a step back and slumps her shoulders, mouth slack. “Why?”

“Why?” His laugh comes out like a bark. He steps away from the door and almost misses the pain of the doorknob against his back. “Are you serious? Why? How about because you’re here with your new boyfriend, huh? Or because he’d gladly use this as an excuse to kick my ass if he caught us together.” He buries his face in his hands. “Oh god, is that what this is? Fred shoves me in here and FP is going to come save you, right? All just some big set up to make me look like a fool. Like the bad guy.”

“Shut up.” He picks up his head. Alice’s arms are crossed and her features hardening. “Like you weren’t just downstairs with Penelope? You think I haven’t noticed her hanging all over you lately?”

“I knew you were doing a shitty job ignoring me.”

“You come here with her?”

“I gave her a ride, but -”

“So what, you’re dating Penelope fucking Bennet now?”

“I’m not dating Penelope!” He sighs and leans against a stack of plastic storage containers labeled XMAS. They were just level to sit on, but he didn’t want to take the chance of collapsing them. “She’s just a friend.”

“Hiram is just your friend. What the fuck do you need Penelope for?”

“She’s a good friend.”

“Ah. Well that makes sense because Hiram definitely isn’t a good friend. He’s the one who asked me to come to this stupid party because his stash is dry. And maybe to get you all riled up.”

“Is this why you wanted to get me alone? To belittle my friends? I can’t be happy because I’m not with you?”

She stiffens. “Are you? Happy I mean?” He shakes his head. “So what are you?”

“I’m fucking miserable without you, Alice,” he whispers. “Six weeks. You haven’t spoken to me for six whole weeks and I’m about to go out of my mind. It’s sick. It’s like I’m obsessed with you. You’re the first thing that pops into my head every morning and the last thing I think about when I go to sleep. Everytime I see you at school, I pray that it’s the day you’ll finally come back to me. The day you’ll apologize and -”

“Apologize?” Alice spits the word out like it left a bad taste in her mouth. She steps closer to him and waves her finger in his face. “You listen here. I am not apologizing.” Hal opens his mouth and she presses her finger to his. “And I’m not asking you to either,” she says softer. “No apologies. Isn’t love never having to say you’re sorry?”

“You hate that movie,” he mutters against her finger.

“But it’s true. We don’t need to talk about any of this. Not about that stupid article, not about anything. It’s over, it’s done. I don’t want to sit here and spill my guts and cry, okay? Not in a closet and especially not at Rick fucking Mantle’s party.”

“Alice.” She presses her finger harder against his lips and he finally takes her hand and pulls it away from his face. He holds her right hand in both of his and she stares down at their hands together until he speaks. “I want to talk about this. Get it out in the open. We don’t have to say sorry if that’s what you want, but we have to clear the air at least.”

“Babe,” she whispers and steps closer to him. She pulls her hand out of his grasp and touches his face again. He relaxes at her touch. “We don’t need this big show of everything, okay?” She presses her lips to his neck and watches as Hal lets his head rolls back, throaty sigh escaping him. Her teeth lightly dig into his skin and she presses against him with her body. “Just let me make you feel good,” she says against the collar of his polo shirt. She drops to her knees, hitting the carpet just a bit harder than she intended to. He catches her hand just as she’s unfastening his belt and, with one swift motion, grabs her under her arms and pulls her to her feet.

“Hal!” she says too loudly, ruining any chance of setting a mood. “What the hell?”

He shakes his head. “God Alice. You’ll do anything to get out of saying sorry, huh?”

“Okay, Hal.” Anger seeps into her voice. “I am so sorry that you don’t want a blow job. Forgive me, please, for trying to do something nice for you.” She runs her hands through her hair. “What’s wrong with you? What kind of guy prefers an apology to getting their dick -”

“I do, okay? Is that so wrong?”

“It’s weird as hell. Why can’t this be enough for you? Why aren’t I enough for you?”

“You’re not enough for me? Are you kidding? You’re the one who broke up with me, Alice. You’re the one who wanted out of this relationship. The one who had a new boyfriend the next day!”

“I did not have a new boyfriend!”

“Fine!” Both their faces are red, flushed, their breathing far too heavy. “You got your old boyfriend back the next day. Is that better?”

“FP is not my boyfriend! He has never been my -”

“So what is he? Fuck buddy? Don’t even lie and tell me you’re not sleeping with him. I’ve seen you two around. Kissing. Holding hands.”

“Holding hands! How fucking romantic.” She presses her lips into a scowl. “FP is grandfathered in, okay? And you know what? I don’t need to explain jack shit to you. I wasn’t cheating on you. We weren’t together.”

Hal exhales through his nose. “Fine. You’re right. You broke up with me and got back together with him. None of my business.”

“I’m not with him!”

“You looked awfully cozy walking into the party together. And at school every goddamn day.”

Alice opens and closes her mouth a few times before the right words come to her. “Fine. We were having sex, but we’re not dating. Not by a long shot, okay? We’re not together.”

“Does he know that?”

She nods. “He does now. I made that clear. He was just there for me, you know?”

“No, I don’t know,” he whispers. His eyes travel back to the Candyland box on the shelf. “Because I’m supposed to be the one who’s there for you, but you dropped me. Said you never wanted to talk to me again.”

“Hal, I -”

“I’m sorry, Alice.” His eyes drop from Candyland and meet her blue eyes. “I am so sorry my dad wrote that article. He had no right. And my mom she, well she went along with it I guess. I can’t say I’m sorry enough for all of that. But you know I had nothing to do with it. I would have done everything in my power to stop them if i knew. Anything.” He looks down at his shoes. “You need to believe that, because the worst part of all of this, the very worst part, is the part where you really think I’d knowingly let any harm come to you, you know that? My dad slid a copy of that article under my door the morning it was printed. And by then half of Riverdale had already seen it. What was I supposed to do? Go back in time and -”

She grabs his face and cuts him off again with a kiss. Just as he makes to to pull back, she breaks away, still cupping his face.

“I’m sorry, Hal.” She keeps her nose lightly pressed against his. They breathe the same air again. “Okay? I am sorry. I don’t know how else to say it or do it, okay? So I’m just… I’m sorry. I know you had nothing to do with it and I shouldn’t have cut you out like that.”

“Uh huh.” The room - the closet - is spinning again and Hal knows this time it has nothing to do with drinking beer and everything to do with drinking her in. His hands find her hips again and he digs his nails into her. “That was all I wanted to hear.”

She strokes his cheek as their lips meet again. Quick this time. Hot. Fast. She coaxes his mouth open with her tongue and he knows his face is already stained by her lipstick.

For the second time, Penelope pops into his head. Last weekend. Her wiping her lipstick off his mouth with a pleased grin.

He brushes the guilt away and remembers the girl in front of him. The girl that makes him feel a way Penelope never could.

He runs his hands down her hips and picks her up. She breaks their kiss to let out a little squeal as he spins her around and sits her down on the plastic containers of Christmas decorations. They shift slightly, but stay put. Alice doesn’t weigh a hundred pounds soak and wet.

Alice grabs his collar and pulls him back in again, wrapping her legs around his midsection until her Doc Martens hit each other behind him. He leans his body against her as their faces meet. He rests his hands on her bare knees, happy she opted out of wearing jeans or fishnets, and slowly runs them up her thighs. She nods against him, letting go of his collar. He groans as he reaches the hem of her skirt.

“Fuck,” Hal mutters against her lips. She kisses him in between his words and her hands fall to his waist. “I don’t have anything on me.”

“Hmm?” Her hand snakes around to his back pockets.

“I don’t have a condom.”

She stops kissing him and laughs, rubbing her nose against him. “Course you do, dummy. You’re a goddamn boy scout.” She pulls his wallet out and flashes it open. “You always have one. See, right -”

“Alice!”

He reaches for his back pocket even though his wallet is clear as day in her hands. She unlinks her legs from them as she stares inside it. She flips through the cash and feels behind his license before looking back up at him.

“Who?” It’s only one word, but there is so much fire in her eyes, Hal takes a step back. “I asked you a question, Hal.”

“Alice, I didn’t -”

“Bullshit!” She closes the wallet and hits it against his chest hard. He grabs it before he falls to the floor and fumbles putting it back in his pocket. When he looks back at her, she has her face buried in her hands, her legs dangling off the stack of storage containers. “It was Penelope, wasn’t it?”

“Penelope and I -”

Angry tears are brimming in her eyes as she looks up at him. “Aren’t we past lying? The least you could do is be honest with me.”

Penelope flashes in his mind. How she kissed him in his car last weekend. How she climbed into his lap and whispered in his ear that she knew ways to make him feel better. That she didn’t mind, not for him. How maybe - just maybe - he considered it for a moment. And how glad he was that he tossed the condom in his wallet days earlier because it made him think of Alice whenever he looked at it.

How he dropped her off at home and she wiped the lipstick off his face and maybe she looked just a little let down, but didn’t say anything. He went home and felt like crap that he’d even considered taking advantage of a friend like that.

“God, I bet she was a virgin too, wasn’t she?” Alice’s voice brings him back to the present. Her arms are crossed and she’s glaring at him. “Was it worth it? Ruining what we had to pop that stuck-up bitch’s cherry? I always thought you were different, but you’re not.” She shakes her head and glares at him. “Just like every other guy, looking for a place to stick your dick.”

Hal puts his hands back on her knees and leans into her. Alice gasps at the action, but stops talking.

“Does it matter if I slept with her?” he asks. He hates lying, but he hates the double standard she sets even more.

“Of course it matters.”

“Why?” He leans in so their faces are only an inch apart and she slowly opens her legs so he can step closer to her. “We were broken up. Nothing either of us did was cheating, right?”

Her eyes go to the ceiling.. “I guess so.”

“No Alice. If I did wrong by sleeping with Penelope, you did wrong by sleeping with FP. There’s no difference. Okay?” Alice shrugs. Hal takes her chin in his hand and slowly tilts it down so they’re looking each other in the eyes. “Okay?”

Her bottom lip pouts out, but she nods. “Okay,” she says softly. “Okay. You slept with Penelope. That’s fine. That’s - that’s not my business. I mean, I wish you didn’t.” Her voice cracks at the end a tear rolls down her cheek.

“Hey,” he whispers. He wipes the tear away and pulls her into a hug. He considers telling her he’s lying. That maybe they almost, but they didn’t. They definitely didn’t. And maybe he thought about it, but he wouldn’t. Couldn’t. Not with a girl he didn’t think about that way. Even if she did offer. The words are on the tip of his tongue, itching to come out. To apologize for lying to her for even a minute.

But she sniffles against his chest and pulls back. She lets out a long breath and combs her hair away from her face. She forces a smile.

“This is okay. I’m not upset.” She puts her arms on his shoulders and pulls him against her. Her legs wrap around him again. “We’re even now. This is good. A little part of me always felt guilty I took your virginity. But now you have more experience and you don’t have to worry about only sleeping with one girl your whole life.”

“I never worried about that.” He kisses her as the words sink in. “Wait, whole life?”

She nods. Her hands slink around to the back of his neck and she runs her fingers through his short hair. “I’m not ruining things with you again, okay? You’re stuck with me.”

The smile that breaks out takes up most of his face. “Good. Good.”

“Lets pick up where he left off.” Her eyes dart down and he places his hands on her knees again with a sigh.

“We don’t have a condom.”

“Has that ever stopped us before?” Her voice is playful again. Flirty. She pushes his hands up until they’re at the hem of her skirt. He bites his lip. “Come on, Hal. I’m your girlfriend. I trust you. Plus,” she gives his hands another push and they make their way under her skirt, “we get to cross another house off our bucket list.”

Fifteen minutes later, they sneak back downstairs, hand in hand. Both disheveled with the faint stain of Alice’s lipstick on both of their mouths, they sneak from room to room, looking for one redhead and hoping not to run into another.

“Mary!” Alice yells as they find her in the basement with Hermione playing pool. Mary is bent over the table setting up her shot as Alice jumps on her back and hugs her. “I need Hal’s keys.”

She shoves Alice off without looking at her. “Not a chance.” She lines up her shot again as Hermione gives them a curious look.

“Mare,” Hermione says. Mary looks up and follows her gaze. Alice beams brightly as Hal looks sheepishly away. “What do we have here? Has the golden couple worked out their problems?”

Alice rolls her eyes but the smile doesn’t fade. She extends her open palm to Mary. “Keys please.”

“Hal?” Mary’s eyes don’t leave Alice. “You can’t drive.”

“Alice is driving.”

“I’m driving, Mary.”

Mary’s lips purse as she looks between the two of them. “You guys good? Like actually good?”

“Like Alice isn’t going to drive you guys into Sweetwater River, is she?” Hermione chimes in.

“We’re good, Mary,” Hal insists. “Great really.”

Hermione nudges Mary with her shoulder. “They totally just fucked.”

Mary rolls her eyes as she digs into the pockets of her shorts. “I’m not blind.”

Hal’s mouth falls open as he looks between the two girls. Hermione gestures to his mouth.

“You’re covered in lipstick, dummy. Better get out of here before someone else sees you.”

Mary pulls back the keys just as Alice is about to grab them. “Hal. I know you’ve already told Penelope you’re leaving without her, right?”

Hal looks down at his feet. “Actually, I was wondering if you could.”

“Hal!”

He sighs and meets Mary’s eyes. “Just give her a ride home? Tell her I had an emergency or something. I’ll call her tomorrow and explain. I swear.”

Alice snatches the keys from Mary. “Unless I should go tell her?”

“That would be cruel and you know it.” Mary sighs. “Fine. I’ll take her home. But don’t say I’ve never done you any favors.”

Alice links her arm through Hal’s and pulls him away. “We have the best friends.”

#halice #alice cooper #hal cooper #penelope blossom #fp jones #fred andrews #mary andrews #hermione lodge #hiram lodge #riverparents #parentdale #riverparent fanfiction

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hot-mysticc-mess-blog · 6 years

Note

I love your blog and I was wondering if you could write a headcanon for the RFA+V&Saeran when they see MC who they broke up with for something in the past. Like they miss her and want her, so how would they try to win her back. I'm sorry if I'm being a bit confusing.

My Masterlist

Zen

His contract to keep your relationship quiet, a new fantastic role, a rough patch he knows, in hindsight, was his fault.

He doesn’t really remember but he thinks your last argument was something about fish-shaped bread? How stupid.

It was awkward for a while. Zen used to leave the chatroom anytime you showed up, until you offered to leave in his place

He felt so guilty about it that he always stuck around, lamenting logging into the chatroom in case he found himself trapped watching you chat happily with everyone else

You seemed like you were doing so well

Even after that, the two of you ignored each other for the most part

He texted Yoosung party guest suggestions and made the poor boy ask in Zen’s place, even though he knew you were too nice to turn down a guest just because the suggestion came from your ex

He mellowed out as things got better in his career. He found a new girlfriend. She was pretty, and content with anything she could have of him, even if that did not include his love.

But you still saw each other at the party, and he was still absolutely taken with you

He caught himself staring, his eyes following as you moved throughout the room

A few drinks later and he was itching to touch you, kiss you, beg for your forgiveness

Would that be cheating?

Zen turned to his girlfriend. She caught his eye and smiled.

It would? Damn

His relationship lasted all of another two weeks before he broke it off

Zen tentatively starts conversations with you, notably reserved. Yoosung even mentioned the sharp drop-off in his narcissistic comments.

He spent every spare moment rehearsing the speech he was going to give you. And he waited, for the perfect moment.

Could he have texted you at any time? Or called? Absolutely.

But no, the perfect moment came at 3 AM one evening. Yoosung had just left the chatroom to play games, and Zen was just about to hit the exit button when your name popped up on screen

He spewed out his speech, taking up nearly three whole screens of the chat…and then he couldn’t stop

He just kept on babbling, whatever words he could think of that might get you to come back to him.

Jaehee

Nothing like internalized religious shame to ruin a relationship

It was always something she had fought with, but over time it became too much and she gave in

She was being too greedy, and it would hurt both of you in the end.

Your break-up was a quiet, soft discussion over coffee at table 7

Jaehee already did most of the administrative tasks for the cafe, but she took over what was left

She opened the cafe in the morning. You closed the cafe in the evenings. A manager relayed any communications.

You had never told the rest of the RFA you were together in the first place, and the breakup was somehow even more awkward for it

Things went back to the way they were…except not. It was like peeling a sticker from a bottle only to find that the invisible sticky residue had been left behind.

Jaehee was professional as always, you were polite as always, but everything hurt

The rest of the RFA noticed the gloom, Seven put the pieces together easily enough. Jumin at the very least suspected, which you put together when he offered both of you vague but particularly relevant advice

Jaehee immediately noticed how much she misses your presence

Running the cafe wasn’t half as much fun without you

Sitting at home and watching Zen’s musicals was still very relaxing…but not as enjoyable when she doesn’t have you to enjoy them with

She swears even her coffee isn’t as flavorful when you aren’t around.

She found herself up at wee hours of the morning most nights, looking at the crucifix up on her wall.

“Is this really what you want?” She asked, out loud to an empty house.

She finally found happiness…why was she sabotaging it for herself?

The next day she came by right at the end of your shift, clinging to a clipboard with the inventory documents in order to avoid anxiously fidgeting.

“MC?” Her voice came out more unsure than she had hoped for. “Would you mind have a cup of coffee with me?”

Audibly sighed with relief when you agreed

She waits until the awkward silence takes over before speaking

“I think, no, I made a mistake when I broke up with you. I thought I was doing the right thing at the time, that I was being too greedy by wanting the coffee shop and such a close relationship with you. I should have just spoken with you about it. You were the one who made me want to chase my happiness, and I wanted to build this cafe with you, together. My life is better with you by my side.”

“Of course, I understand if you don’t want to but I…I would like to try again.”

Yoosung

The process of breaking up was a messy, three weeks of arguing. The actual break-up lasted all of twenty-four hours

School was hard, and you understood that, but he was irritable all the time

Everything that everyone did annoyed him and you two found yourselves arguing over anything he looked at

He brought your fights into the chat room, even when you tried to keep negative conversation to private texts

You suggested maybe he should take a break

He took that phrase, and interpreted it to mean something you hadn’t intended at all. “If we need to take a break, then we shouldn’t be together at all! We’re done!”

Yoosung had about twenty-four hours of rage-based satisfaction before your absence caught up to him

By then, the RFA found out from you what happened.

Zen was torn between his closest friend and you. You told him you would be alright, and that he did not need to come and see you

That was good, because Yoosung arrived at Zen’s apartment 10 minutes later.

Zen updated the chatroom later that evening, letting everyone know Yoosung drank a can of beer, cried, and then Zen put him to bed on the couch

Yoosung was back up again at three am, alone in a chatroom frantically typing out how much he missed you while he paced in Zen’s living room

Then he started calling

You woke up to several voicemails, all apologies from Yoosung

Jumin

He swore he would never let you go. Even when things were bad he couldn’t bring himself to get a divorce

Instead, the two of you separated. Though he felt he could no longer provide support for your emotional well-being, he offered his continued financial support.

The polite refusal you gave him, tears in your eyes and hands on your suitcase, made his chest tighten. He loosened his tie, hoping that would make it feel easier to breathe.

Zen spent the next week with you in Rika’s apartment, doting on your every need and bitching about Jumin every chance he got

Jumin threw himself into his work

He went back to treating you professionally. Seven made the mistake of joking about your newly single status only once before he discovered Jumin’s wrath was not worth it.

You spent the next several months trying to untangle your life from Jumin’s, knowing it would never fully work

Jumin tried to convince himself things would be okay without you. Love was a foolish endeavor. Work was the only thing that mattered.

But you had changed him, and now all of a sudden the idea of going back to a life without love, without the light you brought into his life make his heart ache.

Jaehee took over any communication that involved you, relaying any questions and information Jumin needed.

He made sure that was nothing for the first couple of months, even to the point of procrastinating on things that needed to be done just so he could avoiding saying your name

There were little things you left all around the house by accident. He couldn’t go anywhere without being reminded of you. He left them alone at first, refusing to touch them. If it was in the path of somewhere he needed to go, he had a maid remove it.

Slowly, he started gathering them all up. Whenever he would find something that was yours, he would store it in a box he kept on nightstand on your side of the bed. One day, he would send it to you.

The party came around. The entire RFA is on edge, anxious about the two of you seeing each other for the first time in nearly a year.

Seven helped you get ready beforehand. He made sure you looked great, even without Jumin’s designer gowns and personal stylists.

Jumin had never sent you the box with the last of your things, nor any divorce papers.

Yoosung and Seven had far too much fun pretending to “scout” for you, checking the entire venue for Jumin before you go inside. When he arrived, you knew because your cell phone vibrated four consecutive times with text alerts from the other RFA members

Jumin caught your eye a couple of times, you look away and continue your mingling, but the moment he saw you he knew exactly why he had never fully ended things with you: he never wanted your relationship to end

Those vows he took at the alter when he married you, he meant every word. A year of separation and all the arguments in the world would never change that. He wanted to fix things…but did you?

Jumin kept an eye on you while he networked with other guests, until he finally saw you wander to a quieter corner of the main room for a brief respite.

He ended the conversation he was having rather abruptly, in favor of approaching you with two glasses of wine in hand.

“MC?” He held out one of the glasses for you. “Would you be willing to try couple’s therapy?”

Saeyoung

He thought he could keep you safe from the agency. You were the one who made him believe that

And he could, from his original agency, but then a new agency started to recruit him just as he was getting his civilian life with you in place.

The two of you were engaged now…but if you got married, then your bond would be on paper.

He let his thoughts spiral, panicked one evening at the third attempt to infiltrate his security systems. It didn’t work, of course, but the potential threat was still there.

He pre-packed your things, set up a tracker on your phone, and arranged a Buber to take you to Jumin’s penthouse

The break up was quick. You were in the car and moved out of the house before you had time to process anything that happened.

After you two break up, Saeyoung went quiet.

No one knew if he was actually reading the chat logs at all, but the entire RFA spoke out, asking him to talk to you, to explain what happened, eventually just to say anything

Saeyoung spoke only with Jumin, and did all his work from behind the scenes.

Saeran gave semi-regular updates on his brother in the chatroom after reading the third chat log of you begging to know if he was okay. His brother’s relationship shouldn’t have been any of his business, but he liked you. You were a good person, and no one seemed to understand why Saeyoung did it.

Your role in the RFA only grew. It was rough at first, but the entire RFA was supportive in helping you get back on your feet.

Saeyoung read all the chat logs, including the messages you left for him. He kept an eye on where you were at all times, back to checking on you every 2.35 seconds in his bunker. He made sure to never look you in the eyes, lest it break his resolve.

Saeran lived with him now, but the house was quiet without you around. The twins’ relationship was still tense, but this had just made it worse.

At first, it was just more petty arguments than usual. Then, Saeran started asking why Saeyoung left MC. When Saeyoung wouldn’t answer, it became constant displeased grumbling every time they passed each other. Eventually, it became an outright fight.

“They didn’t do a damn thing and you left them! You left them just like you left me!”

“It’s for her protection Saeran! I took took care of my agency, but if we get married they’re going to be a target for anyone that wants our skills!”

“Did something happen? Did you even talk to them about this!? Why didn’t you ask me for help?”

“I don’t need help. If I told them why I wanted to end things, they wouldn’t have let me do it. It was for their safety. This was the best option.”

“And how did your idea of ‘the best option’ work out for everyone last time!?” Saeran slams his hand down on Saeyoung’s desk, knocking over a long cat bobble toy you had given him as a gift. Saeran’s eyes welled with tears, hands shaking with rage. “MC knew exactly what they were getting into! You had no right to just kick them out of our lives!”

Saeyoung looks up at his brother with wide eyes. Was this what you looked like right now too? Was that the expression and the emotion and the reality that he had been avoiding?

The next day he showed up with a eleven robotic roses that meowed like cats, an IOU for a kitten, and one rose that played a recording of him saying ‘I’m sorry’ over and over again

The sound was awful

Not his best idea

V/ Jihyun

He was the one who decided he was not okay with making you wait

It had been two years of barely keeping in contact

Another cancelled ticket. Another stub for the scrapbook. Another RFA party he would miss, not that he did anything for the group anymore.

You had been amazingly understanding, as usual, even when he broke your heart.

Yoosung already hated him. Jumin was getting a little frustrated, and the rest of the RFA expected him to never really come back. Him breaking up with you? You were the only one particularly heart-broken by the loss.

Everywhere he went, he saw you. Greece, Africa, The United States, Egypt. No matter what country he was in he would see someone on the street and for a few seconds he would be convinced it was you.

God knows how many times he whipped around in the middle of the street only to find himself staring at someone who was…decidedly not you.

Until one day, on a brief return to Korea, when he whipped around and he swore he saw your face. Not the back of your head, not you hands or your clothes, your face.

“MC?”

You turn to look at him, surprised to see him after all these years.

At first, it just starts with an invitation to a cafe

He’s friendly and kind and apologizes for how things went between the two of you

Of course he wants you back, but he’s not going to force it. He was the one who broke the two of you up to begin with, and he has done nothing to earn your respect or love.

So…he stayed. And he texted. And he logged on to the RFA app to speak with all the members. He rented a studio and slept there on a couch in the back room while he put a life back together in Korea.

Things still aren’t perfect, but he’s trying. He has a place here, and friends, a life he can offer to share now.

He waits until the next RFA party ends, and catches you as you stow away one of the crystal centerpieces for the tables.

“I hope I’m not ruining you evening with this request…would you want to go out on a date with me?”

Saeran

The two of you started your relationship way too early.

He thought he was better now, that he could just live his life

But one day, the feelings hit him hard, like a ton of bricks. All of the progress, all of the work he did to get himself back where he was disappeared.

What was the point? What was the point of trying when it was all going to come back with no warning for the rest of his life?

He doesn’t even remember exactly when he broke up with you, because you never left his side.

It was somewhere between not eating for two days and Saeyoung checking him back into the psychiatric hospital.

“Go home already!” He would shout. You had no idea why, he had been okay with you here just a moment before.

It was because he noticed the glimmer of sadness in your eyes, or the way your expression drooped with disappointment.

Eventually, he got better. They released him from the hospital, but you stopped coming by so often.

It used to be you were there every single day, now you come by sometimes to talk to Saeyoung, and check in on him briefly before you flee the bunker.

You got eerily quiet in the chatroom; even when he wasn’t around, you just weren’t quite as bright as you had been

He missed seeing you smile. He missed hearing your voice.

It’s another night of being up at three am. Another night of Saeyoung hovering around him, like if he looks away Saeran might try to hurt himself again.

An infomercial for some terrible super fruit health drink is on, and it reminds him of the time he tapped your shoulder to tell you his snarky comment about it, only to find you had fallen asleep on his shoulder.

You were the best thing to ever happen to him

He picks up his phone, and opens the text log.

i’m sorry for what I said

I wish you’d come by more often

I miss you

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