#i think there's a case for either and it's probably to some degree both

[pinazee]

And down the stretch comes murder

I wanted to take this moment to highlight the adorable child actors they got- Liam James and Carlos McCullers II. They are so perfectly cast as Shawn and Gus and they do such an amazing job! Im so impressed by them 👏👏

The whole spitball incident really highlights the differences between Shawn and Gus’ ethics. Shawn feels guilty for thinking he got the wrong spitter and ruined Jimmys life while Gus actually did it and feels no remorse at all. Perhaps it’s because Jimmy tortured Gus more, but it’s also come up a few other times i believe, that Gus is not above revenge nor is always willing to do the right thing if it interferes with his safety or his own code of justice, whereas with Shawn it’s like he can’t rest until he’s made things right. This, in addition to the ways he looks out for people (helping Lassie solve a case without him knowing, helping juliet find some kids without getting paid, standing between Gus and a gun), I think is why i tend to be more drawn to Shawn. I love tender-hearted morally just characters. Im not saying he’s always riding the high horse (pun intended), simply that at the end of the day you know he’s going to do the right thing. Don’t get me wrong, i love a morally ambiguous character too, and if I’m honest Gus’s outlook is certainly more realistic, but if i had to pick a favorite, i want the reliably good and wholesome over the self-serving. Not that im saying Gus is selfish at all, but of the two Shawns more our hero, even compared to his own cop father. I think Juliet is the only one who comes closest to matching that above and beyond heroism. I think the only reason she’s a step below is because Shawn simply notices others more. Thats all. If Juliet had Shawns abilities she’d be just as on top of it as him, probably more so. Actually she might get overwhelmed by seeing it all and not being able to help everyone. I think it’d be really hard for her to ignore sometimes. Which, okay I’m going down a tangent, but do you think Shawn had to learn to shut it off sometimes or like, learn to walk away? Cause i imagine day to day Shawn’s seeing people dealing with grief, abuse, or pain and with as kind as he is, it must be hard for him to ignore. Like if you’ve ever seen Daredevil, I’m imagining a less dramatic version of that haha

Henry will take any opportunity to point out Shawns failings or try to make him feel less than. Shawn tells him he’s there for a case and instead of asking him about it, Henry goes right back into you never could be a good handicapper because you lack the patience and follow-through it takes to put the time in and research. Also, the line “i let him talk to me” just doesn’t sit right with me even if the guy did turn out to be a skeeve. This kind of stuff makes me think Shawn either learned how to respect people from his mother or refused to treat people like his father. Probably both, though i hate to give her credit for anything haha

Look at his smile when he sees Lassie feed the horse. He’s so warmly amused by him. I wasn’t a Shassie shipper originally (as i just didn’t ship ppl in ye olden days) but i think I am now. I see it guys, I get it haha

These scenes are what makes the episode for me! I love them! We get to see both Shawns interacting and how he utilizes his vast memory, taking a peak into his mind palace so to speak. Plus he literally answered that common question of if you could go back in time what would you tell your younger self? (“Think big!”) I know they never really intended for this to be like a deep scene (nor expected certain fans to overanalyze it haha) but i like how he approaches the kid version of himself with a certain degree of amusement. Like I imagine if i was seeing my young self I’d probably be rolling my eyes at my sheer stupidity, but Shawns a lot kinder to himself haha Also little Shawns line “I thought I’d be bald by 20” was fucking gold! I wish I had better words for why this works so well but all i have is that it does and its brilliant.

Nice try Psych, your Canada is showing ;)

Heres some completely irrelevant info. The difference between a dreamcicle and a creamcicle: both are orange flavored, but dreamsicles had an ice milk center while a creamsicle was ice cream. And dreamsicles are no longer made.

I like this addition to the background. Its so cute. (Sidenote: this screenshot makes it seem like Shawn is the babyfaced assassin)

P.S This is the second episode ive seen him hold this frog. That is all.

#also word must really be getting around shawn and gus’s old schoolmates if it reached a kid who moved in i think the 6th grade #but to be fair if someone from my class was solving crimes with his psychic abilities im sure id get a text at least #this is the second classmate thats hired them #also Shawn probably should’ve solved it before the race was started. it was pretty risky to let it go on after someone accidentally died #i scoured the internet for that damn frog #psych #psych rewatch #shawn spencer #burton guster #james roday rodriguez #james roday #dulé hill #dule hill #carlton lassiter #juliet o'hara #henry spencer #timothy omundson #maggie lawson #corbin bernsen #shassie

[songsintheattic]

#im just gonna keep my comments for the tags so i don't have to deal with people being annoying once this inevitably leaves my circle #but i find this very interesting - and observable across different cultures #and when you look at the unnatural way those heavy consumerist cultures leave #with separation of mother and child starting literally at birth #and all of the normal bonding rituals being removed from those cultures #in the caregiver/child relationships as well as friendships and everything else #it's just no surprise #whether you want to say people get rich off that is a happy accident or the motive behind the trend is irrelevant to me #i think there's a case for either and it's probably to some degree both #but this just explains a lot #*live not leave lol

[ellemj]

Making Sure: 12 Days of Smut #3 - Sex Pollen

Bucky Barnes x Reader One-Shot

Summary: Bucky is exposed to a sex pollen while the two of you are snowed in, stuck in a cabin in the Swiss Alps after finishing up a mission. Oh, and of course, you happen to be his ex-girlfriend.

Warnings: profanity, dubcon (sex pollen), possessive!Bucky, breeding kink, unprotected sex, mutual pining of sorts, some use of y/n, MINORS DNI, 18+!!!

Feel free to comment and let me know if this requires any other warnings.

Word Count: 4k

A/N: My laptop decided it didn't want to turn on today, and then when it finally turned on it didn't want to run any apps so 12 Days of Smut almost became 11 Days of Smut. But anyway, let me know if you guys like this one! For once, it doesn't involve anyone hating anyone or an obscene amount of unbearable tension (which I severely miss).

            It’s not all that hard to work with your ex, not when you ended on decent terms. Well, as decent as they could have been. When Bucky broke up with you three months ago, it wasn’t completely out of the blue. You hadn’t been having any problems, you never had any fights, but you knew he was never as into the relationship as you were. He had said from the very beginning that he didn’t think he ever wanted a lifelong commitment. The majority of his life had been spent without having true freedom to make his own decisions. It’s safe to say the man only had about six years of making decisions for himself, between turning eighteen and joining the army. Then the army had a say in everything he did until he was taken by HYDRA. HYDRA controlled him for so long, and honestly, they still have some form of control over him if you consider his nightmares and insomnia issues. So, when things started to feel a little too serious between you two, when Bucky started to realize that he actually loved you, that’s when he called it off.

            You’d both agreed to keep the relationship between yourselves, remaining professional at work and around the others. Even Sam had never figured it out. Bucky was so good at keeping it hidden, staying completely stoic unless he was positive you were both alone. When things ended between you two, he became stoic all the time. There have been a few times where you’ve felt a bit angry with how easily he can just shut himself off and pretend like you never had anything between you. You think you might’ve been in love with him. How can you be stoic around him when you loved him? You can’t be. So, instead of being stoic, you’re just a little more quiet than usual. You get your job done, you speak to him as professionally as you can, and then you get away from him.

            Unfortunately though, there’s no getting away from him tonight. Technically, your mission is already over. You broke into HYDRA’s only remaining functional lab, you stole at least one sample of each of the various compounds that they were working on, and then you got the hell out of there. You made it all the way back to the safehouse, a small rustic cabin a little ways up in the Swiss Alps. It had been snowing for the last twenty-four hours that you’d been here, but the winter weather came to a head to today on your drive back from the break-in. By the time you got all of the samples safely inside the cabin, there was no way either of you could make the drive back down the mountain to reach the quinjet. You’re stuck here for the night.

            “I want them kept at a pretty low temperature overnight, well below thirty degrees.” Bruce has been watching you over a video call as you’ve been cataloging the samples and packing them safely into a padded case. “It’d probably be best to leave them all in the trunk of the car, since it���s so cold out there.” Bucky’s sitting in the living area while you’re working at the kitchen table, but he’s still listening in. He’s listened for the last half hour as you labeled the samples and hummed a little Christmas tune to yourself. Truthfully, he almost forgot that Christmas is in a few days until he heard you humming that song that you love so much. What was it? He can never remember the name, but he recognizes it from last Christmas. You sang it often and he was lucky enough to still be yours then, to still get the privilege of listening to you flit around the tower so festively, infecting everyone around with your cheerful spirit.

            “They all fit in the case except for one, but it should be fine. I’ll just stick it in the trunk next to the case and slip it into my bag tomorrow before we drive out.” You say, holding up the thin glass flask containing a very watery, clear liquid. It looks the least terrifying, out of all of the chemicals you retrieved from the lab today.

            “Good work today, we’ll see you guys back here tomorrow, if the weather permits.” Bruce gives a little wave before ending the video call. Just as you’re closing the heavy black case of samples, Bucky rises from his seat on the couch and joins you in the kitchen.

            “I’ll take them out.” He offers, staying a few feet away from you but at least making eye contact with you. He doesn’t seem to look at you very often since you broke up, but you can’t complain about it. It makes it a little easier to get over him when you’re not drowning in his blue eyes. You give him a curt nod before sliding the case across the table and then setting the sealed flask of clear liquid on top of it.

            “Try not to jostle them around too much, carry it with two hands.”

            “Got it, two hands.” Bucky repeats. You watch as he lifts the case, leaving the glass flask resting on the lid. You think about carrying the lone chemical out there in your own hands, worrying that Bucky might tip the case a little too far and let the flask fall to the ground outside, but you brush off the worry. He’s never been clumsy, and he sure as hell hasn’t ever been careless. It’ll be fine. It’s just a short walk from the front door to the back of the car.

            In retrospect, you should’ve listened to your instincts.

            When Bucky rushes in the front door only a minute after he’s stepped outside with the chemicals, a sickening feeling settles deep in your stomach. You quickly turn to the source of commotion as he slams the door shut behind him and starts nearly jogging across the cabin, heading straight for the bathroom at the end of the hall.

            “Bucky? What happened?” You call out, your feet carrying you down the hall after him. Bucky strips off his coat, dropping it on the floor in the hall before throwing the bathroom door open and ripping off his shirt. He doesn’t even close the bathroom door. You step over his coat and come to a stop in the doorway as he leans down and turns on the shower.

            “Stay back.” He warns, giving you a sideways glance that makes your stomach flip. “I slipped on a patch of ice and the little glass thing on top of the case fell and shattered. Whatever was in it evaporated quick, but I inhaled a lot of it. I don’t know if I got any on me.”

            Shit. This is not good. Bucky starts unbuckling his belt, but stops himself after he gets it undone, finally turning and looking you straight in the eye. Right. You’re not together anymore.

            “Only rinse, don’t use soap. We don’t know what the chemical was or what might interact with it.” You say, forcing your voice to sound calmer than you feel. Bucky nods, and then shuts the door between the two of you. Shit. You knew you should’ve carried that damn flask yourself.

---

            Half an hour later, after Bucky’s finished showering and is resting on the couch per yours and Bruce’s orders, he begins to feel something. He wanted to go to bed, just sleep it off and see how he felt in the morning, but you and Bruce insisted that he stay in the living room and awake so you could monitor him for any weird signs or symptoms. You miss the first few symptoms that Bucky begins to feel. First, his heart rate began picking up. It was so miniscule at first that even he didn’t notice it, but it increased more and more until he could hear his heartbeat pounding in his ears. Then, even in the chilly little cabin with a near-blizzard raging outside, Bucky began to feel hot. Hot to the point of wanting to take off everything he was wearing and go lay in the snow. Now he sits on the couch, breathing a little quicker than he was earlier, with beads of sweat forming on the back of his neck. It’s his increased respiratory rate that you notice first. Then, as you begin looking him over from your far away seat at the kitchen table, you see the way his cheeks are flushed and the way his dark gray t-shirt is beginning to stick to the sweat coming off of his back. Shit. Whatever it was that he was exposed to, it sure as hell wasn’t nothing.

            You’re just about to ask Bucky what he’s feeling when he abruptly stands from the couch and looks right at you, his gaze wild and pupils blown.

            “Bucky—” You start, but he cuts you off in an instant.

            “I don’t know what was in that flask, but I’ll be fine. I’m not going to sit out here all night.” Bucky’s trying to play it off. He has no fucking idea if he’ll actually be fine, but the newest physiological response his body is having to the chemical isn’t one he wants you to become aware of. He’s aroused. His cock is harder than it’s ever been, and he’d rather sleep outside on the icy road and get run over by Santa’s fucking sleigh then stay this close to you. He worries he won’t be able to control himself if he has to look at you one more time tonight, if he even hears another breath leave your lips, he’ll be done for.  

            “Bucky, tell me what you’re feeling.” You say softly, pushing your chair away from the table and standing, but not daring to move any closer to where he stands in the living room. He scrunches his eyes closed and presses his vibranium hand to the back of his neck in an attempt to cool the skin there.

            “Y/n, I’m going to bed.” He sounds so frustrated. It’s a tone of voice you actually recognize. This is how he used to sound when you’d tease him at the worst times, when you were somewhere that restricted him from being able to touch you, to fuck you.

            “Is it what I think it is?” You ask, your voice impossibly quieter than before. Bucky’s eyes snap open now and he studies you. Looking at you makes his dick throb and his balls feel so fucking full and heavy. He closes his eyes again as quickly as he opened them and then, you’re sure. It was a fucking sex pollen.

            You don’t dare make a move to stop Bucky when he hurries down the hall and locks himself in his bedroom. You stand frozen in the kitchen for the next two minutes, trying to figure out what the hell you should be doing in a situation like this. You end up doing what you do best: researching. You sit yourself right back down at the table and open your laptop, quickly accessing the online archive of SHIELD research files. You type in every word you can possibly think of to find what you need. Luckily, the first article that pops up is exactly what you needed.

            You skim through it at lightning speed, your eyes picking up on the important details. Heightened senses, increases sexual drive ten-fold, may result in permanent disability or death if state of intense arousal is not rectified. Shit, this is bad. You’re wondering how the hell one is supposed to rectify the intense arousal when your eyes land on the most key piece of information in the entire article. Human trials have revealed that allowed the specimen to engage in sexual intercourse is the only successful way to return to a normotensive physiological state.

            You have to fuck. You have to convince him to have sex with you. You have to convince the man who broke up with you three months ago to have sex with you. You’ve suddenly decided that you fucking hate your job.

            However, you’re not going to sit around while Bucky becomes permanently disabled or lets himself die of exposure to a damn HYDRA sex pollen. So, you slam your laptop shut and march right down the hall. You tap your knuckles against his bedroom door three times, until you hear the bed creak slightly, so you at least know he’s alive. He doesn’t make a single move to answer the door. He’s sitting on the side of the bed, his hands gripping the edge of the mattress so hard that it’ll probably never spring back into shape. His sense of hearing is heightened so much that he can hear every breath you take. He thinks he can even hear the sound of your eyelashes fluttering as you blink.

            “Bucky, I did some research.” God, just the sound of your voice might be enough to make him cum in his sweats. Bucky bites his bottom lip and looks down at where his erection is fighting to escape the confines of his sweats. “If this is a sex pollen, which I think we both know it is, it can kill you. The only way to fix this is to…” Your voice trails off, but you don’t have to finish your sentence for Bucky to know what the solution is here. But he won’t ask that of you. He refuses to ask you to sleep with him. He knows he broke your heart three months ago, and he’d be the world’s biggest asshole if he used you for relief now. So, he stays silent. “We could…”

            You can’t seem to finish any of your sentences. Why is it so hard for you to say we could fuck. Oh, right. Because you’ve missed the way he fucks for months. Because you know that if he wasn’t under the influence of this chemical right now, he sure as hell wouldn’t be turned on around you. You’d happily have sex with him right now, but he’d only be doing it because he has to do it to survive.

            “I know I’m probably the last person that you’d want to be offering this, but I’m offering. I don’t want you to sit in there and die.” You say softly, your voice cracking a little bit on the final word. The last person he’d want to be offering this? Fuck, you have no idea how he really feels, do you? Bucky screws his eyes shut and fights back the urge to throw the door open and tell you how much he fucking loves you, how much he’s missed you. It’s why he broke up with you in the first place. What if something happened one day that turned him right back into the Winter Soldier? What if he ended up on ice again and by the time he came out of cryo, you were dead and gone? He had to break up with you, because he felt like his future was always too unclear to promise it to someone.

            “I’m here, Bucky, if you need me.” You whisper, with your forehead pressed against the cool wood of the door. He can tell that you’re hurting for him. It’s why, against his rational mind, he finds himself crossing the room and tugging the door open. When he sees you standing there in the light of the hallway, he can hear that little Christmas tune that you love so much playing in his head. Fuck it.

            You’ve barely had a second to realize that Bucky’s just opened the door for you before you feel his hand fist in your hair and he yanks you forward against his chest. His mouth captures yours in a heated kiss. Bucky sucks your bottom lip between his and wastes no time in using his hold on your hair to tilt your head to the side and slide his tongue into your mouth. You act on muscle memory, kissing him the same way you used to every single day. You let his tongue dance around your mouth, but when he begins to pull back you suck on it lightly, earning a groan from him. He tastes just like you remember, and suddenly you want him so badly that for all you know you could have some sex pollen coursing through your veins.

            “The last person I’d want to be offering this?” Bucky rasps against your lips, briefly looking into your eyes as he repeats your words in question. “You’re the only person I’d want to be offering this.” He pulls on your hair again, tilting your head further to the side and sucking on the skin right below your ear. Your eyes close as you try to calm your racing heart, reminding yourself that as perfect as this might feel right now, it won’t last.

            It takes mere seconds for Bucky to pull you into his room and practically throw you onto his bed. When he crawls over you a second later, it’s like he’s suddenly realized you both still have your clothes on. He stands back up beside the bed and strips quickly, exposing every bit of his fucking heavenly body to you. You don’t even try to choke back the whimper that leaves your lips. Bucky freezes when he hears it. He’s heard it before. He’s heard it in his dreams, ever since you broke up. It’s sort of funny. He never had dreams before, only nightmares. Until he broke up with you, and then he started having dreams about you every night. They’ve replaced nearly every nightmare. Instead of HYDRA being the reason he’s up at night, it’s all you.

            You start shimmying out of your pants right there on the bed as you look at Bucky, too impatient to stand up and take everything off like he did. He strokes his cock slowly in one hand, but every time his palm glides over the tip he makes a face like he’s in pain. You know from your brief research that touching himself won’t give him an ounce of relief, it’ll only make things worse. So, once you have your pants off, you reach up and grab his wrist, stopping his stroking, and pulling him closer to the bed. He gets the hint and positions himself on top of you again, spreading your legs apart with his knee before settling between them.

            “I’ve missed you.” Bucky coos against the side of your neck, right as you feel the head of his cock brushing against your clit through your already soaked panties. He didn’t mean to say it. He doesn’t want to make the break up any harder for you, but fuck. He’s missed having you under him like this, though in the past you never kept your panties and shirt on when you were under him.

            “I’ve been right here.” You respond quietly, letting your hands coast down his sides until you feel the way his back muscles are rigid underneath your palms. He’s restraining himself. “Bucky, you don’t have to hold back.” He sighs deeply and grinds his cock against you, hard. It draws a moan from your lips that’s so needy, Bucky can’t wait any longer. He knows he’s only waited a minute at this point, but he just can’t anymore. He reaches down between the two of you and snags a finger in your panties, deftly pulling them to the side and guiding his cock straight into you without warning. The cry that escapes you isn’t one of pain or surprise, it’s one of pure lust. It might’ve been three months since the last time you had sex, but your body accepts his cock like it never left. There’s no pain, there’s only pleasure as he starts fucking into you slowly. He builds the pace up in mere seconds, speeding up more and more until he’s fucking you so hard and fast that the headboard is snapping against the wall and scratching the paint.

            “God, you’re still so fucking tight for me.” He groans, burying himself balls deep inside you. He stays still for a moment, letting your pussy grip his cock like a vice.

            “It’s still yours.” You whisper the words against his jawline. When his eyes snap open and stare straight into yours, you know you probably shouldn’t have said it. His pupils are already overly dilated, but they expand a little more as possessiveness flares in his chest. He always loved when you let him know who your pussy belonged to. He fucking loved it.

            Wait. The realization hits you both at the same time. He isn’t wearing a condom. As he looks into your eyes, his face falls and your eyes widen. He never once fucked you without a condom on. It was part of his whole no-long-term-commitment thing. He didn’t want to risk an unintentional pregnancy, so he never let himself fuck you raw. When he starts to pull out, you’re quick to wrap your legs around him and lock him in place.

            “Don’t.” You plead. You want this. You’ve always wanted this. Bucky bites his bottom lip and closes his eyes, trying to find a single rational thought in his mind. He knows he shouldn’t do this, he knows he should pull out and find a fucking condom. But will he?

             The answer is no. He uses what little space you give him between your legs to start thrusting into you again, slower this time, but still every bit as deep as before.

            “If you don’t let me pull out…” He starts, but you pull his face down to yours and silence him with a kiss. After a few seconds, he picks up his pace and begins fucking you relentlessly once again, further ruining the paintjob on the bedroom wall behind the headboard.

            “I always wanted you to fuck me like this.” You sigh against his lips. You feel Bucky’s entire body tense up as he nears his release, your words egging him on.

            “Oh, baby, I always wanted to fuck you like this.” He admits, snapping his hips into yours and getting you that much closer to the edge. As your orgasm threatens to tear through you, something weighs heavy on Bucky’s mind. He wants to cum inside you. He loves you but he’s always told himself he can’t have you, because his future is so unclear, he can’t make promises to you and possibly break them. But…he’s a good guy. If he were to knock you up, he’d do the right thing. The traditional thing. He’d marry you and take such good care of you, of the little family you’d have together. Maybe that’s what he should do. He thinks that maybe if he gets you pregnant right now, it would force him to give you his future, no matter how much it scares him. He’d be so much more concerned with doing the right thing in the present, rather than worrying about what might happen in the future. “Let me cum inside you.”

            “You can, Bucky. You can cum inside me.” You moan out, locking your ankles together behind him and pulling him harder against you. He groans and presses another kiss to your lips, but a gentler one this time.

            “You’ll have a baby for me.” He doesn’t even phrase it as a question, no, he’s telling you what you’ll do. “You’ll let me get you pregnant, and then you’ll be mine.”

            “Fuck…” The curse falls from your lips as bliss surges through you. You can’t even find the words to say what you want to say, which is fuck yes. So, you lay there submissively, with your legs wrapped around him as he fucks every drop of cum that he has into you. Then, you catch your breath while he pulls his cock out of you and slides your panties back over your sore cunt. You even let him pile the pillows beneath your hips and legs, elevating your pelvis to make sure his cum won’t drip back out of you.

            Fuck. He really wants to make sure you’re pregnant after this.

TAG LIST (if your user has a line through it, Tumblr wouldn't let me tag you):

@gyokujyn @mrsjoequinn @thealloveru2 @nixxaswrld @ordelixx @sweettae02 @frombkjar @hellfirebabe @edelweissbarnes @sunnyhummingbee @jenniferpendragon @siciliano13 @crist1216  @twlkdead

#bucky barnes smut #bucky barnes fic #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes fanfiction #mcu #bucky barnes x you #marvel #bucky barnes #the winter soldier #winter soldier #12 days of smut

[cobragardens]

The 3 Falls of Anthony J Crowley

So far, Crowley has told three different stories to three different audiences about why he Fell, and there's some important information that can be inferred from them. Let's get nerdy.

(Nb. C. 25% of this is from a previous post I made about Crowley's memory problems.)

Here's Crowley's 1st story (gifs courtesy of Fuck Yeah Good Omens), in 1867:

In Book Omens this line is narration about Crowley, and means that Crowley didn't embrace evil and side with Hell so much as he just wasn't into the whole Heaven shindig.

In Show Omens, this phrase becomes a little more fraught, because Crowley says it about himself, and he says it to Aziraphale.

Aziraphale has just disagreed with Crowley's assertion that the two of them have a lot in common. Az thinks Crowley means their origins as angels, and demurs, "I don't know. We may have both started off as angels, but you are fallen."

But what Crowley means, as we find out in pretty much every other scene the two of them share in S1 and S2, is that that he and Aziraphale have a lot in common now, in their current positions. He wants Aziraphale to see him as a friend--and to be his friend--so he elides the difference his Fallenness makes to Aziraphale, all "Ehhh, it wasn't really a fall kind of Fall, it wasn't that bad."

Also, given the conversation they have in the Final Fifteen, I feel like his phrasing is kind of important here, because falling is not voluntary, but sauntering is. In saying this Crowley is claiming that to some degree he chose to reject Heaven.

It's entirely possible that Crowley may have been lying to Aziraphale in 1867--he is, as he says, a demon, and he's lied to him before to make something bad seem less bad--but maybe not. Remember what the Metatron says about Crowley:

And this is another interesting point: The Metatron knew Crowley as an angel. The Metatron. The being who, after shepherding Aziraphale out of the bookshop, turned back and looked at Crowley with hate.

(And tense music playing, in case you weren't sure.)

So maybe that's it. Maybe Crowley just chose to be on his own side.

But in 2019, and addressing God, Crowley's story of his Fall is slightly different:

I think we can take this as Crowley's sincere belief. It's unlikely that he would lie when speaking to God, because that is Aziraphale's job because he doesn't have any reason to do so: God hasn't been listening to Crowley for 6,000 years at this point, and if She were listening, lying would not work. So Crowley probably believes he's telling the truth here with this story: Crowley believes one reason he Fell is that he asked questions.

But is he right?

Another line from the Metatron:

The Metatron seems to speak of Crowley's habit of asking questions as though he finds it obnoxious rather than damning, so maybe the questions weren't the problem. Then again we know that the Metatron is a lying piece of shit and an authoritarian who doesn't want his regime questioned, willing to erase memories and destroy lives to cover up the 'institutional problem' that Heaven doesn't know what the Plan is and is run by a handful of warmongers who want everyone dead or indentured.

Either way, this is the third time in the series someone has talked about the problem of Crowley asking questions, so my guess is his questions were probably a salient feature of his Fall.

Onward!

Before we look at the 3rd story, remember that we have strong evidence now that Crowley has had his memories erased by Heaven.

But we also know Furfur, another demon, still has his memories. Inference: Heaven don't erase the memories of every angel who Falls. This suggests that Heaven erased Crowley's memories because he had knowledge in those memories Heaven didn't want him to have anymore.

This may not be specific knowledge. We know Crowley has a high security clearance in Heaven and therefore must have been a high-ranking angel, and we know he created a nebula with Saraqael, so presumably there was a lot of stuff in his head Heaven wanted stripped out.

But I think there was something specific, and here's why. Firstly, there's no reason to assume that importance in Heaven is a guarantee of importance in Hell. Furfur could have been a high-ranking angel too before ending up an admin in Hell. (Hell does not seem to be any more of a meritocracy than Heaven does.)

Secondly, it's clear that Crowley doesn't know his memories have been erased. If he knew, then when Furfur says "We were in the same Legion? Just before the Fall? Doing dubious battle on the Plains of Heaven? Remember?" he'd say something like "Don't be stupid, of course I don't remember, Heaven erased my memories."

Instead he says,

Now, maybe Crowley is just being a dick here. Certainly we're supposed to take it that way until he goes up to Heaven with Muriel and doesn't remember Saraqael either.

But what if he's being truthful? If Crowley is being honest (and a dick), that would mean the Fash didn't erase all of Crowley's memories of his time in Heaven. We know this because Furfur says he and Crowley fought together "on the Plains of Heaven," and "just before the Fall" [emphasis added].

This suggests that Maybe Heaven didn't erase time from Crowley's memory. Maybe they erased people.

Okay, now here's Crowley's 3rd story about how he Fell:

It's a cute line, but what if it's not just a throwaway joke referencing what people say about kids who go down the wrong path and become criminals?

Crowley mutters this 3rd story to himself, so we can be confident Crowley believes this to be true. But Crowley doesn't know who the wrong people are. He doesn't know whose company got him thrown out of Heaven, because his memories of all those people have been taken from him.

And taken together, these three stories and Crowley's stolen memories suggest a bigger, more disturbing inference: Crowley doesn't know why he Fell. (Or sauntered vaguely downwards.)

Like Crowley, Job was once a favorite of God. But he has fallen out of that favor and been delivered to demons for reasons God refuses to tell him.

We the audience are meant to draw a parallel between Job and Crowley. We know this not just because of the speech Crowley cathartically gives Job's goats, in which everything he says to the goats can be just as easily applied to Job or himself, but from two other indications. Here's one:

Job is wearing Crowley's color.

The other is the minisode title, "A Companion to Owls." This phrase comes from the Book of Job, specifically Job 30:29. Job, lamenting what has happened to him, says,

 I am a brother to dragons, and a companion to owls.

In Biblical symbolism, dragon=serpent=snake=demon. And in some Mesopotamian beliefs--one of them Judaism--owls were associated with demons as well:

and

and

So the Job of the Bible is saying in this verse the same thing the Job of Good Omens says: God has forsaken me and delivered me to demons. Or even: God has forsaken me and I am now being treated like demons are treated.

And he's also saying something else. In the Bible, owls symbolize loneliness, desolation, and solitude. They're consistently depicted as living in barren, abandoned, isolated places. Seriously. Go search owl(s) in a Biblical concordance and read all 30 entries: it comes up a lot. If you're a companion to owls, you're alone (except for the owls) in the wilderness. You're forsaken.

WHOMST do we know whose signal color is yellow, who's a brother of demons, and who admits at the end of the episode that being alone and forsaken in the wilderness is lonely?

So. Job, a character whose claim to fame is that God punished him and he didn't know why, is a mirror character to Crowley. This on its own isn't enough to say definitely that Crowley doesn't know why he Fell, but combined with the three different stories he tells about his Fall, I think there's enough textual evidence to conclude that Crowley isn't entirely sure why he fell; he only has educated guesses. Either he knew and the memory was erased, or he was never told at all.

My question about Crowley's Fall is this: Who pushed him?

Was Crowley's Fall an act of God Herself, or was it an act of Heaven? What did the fucking Metatron have to do with it? What was Crowley's crime? When Aziraphale takes charge of Heaven and the Second Coming, will he read Crowley's file?

#good omens #good omens 2 #good omens s2 #good omens meta #crowley #aziraphale #the metatron #good omens analysis #crowley's fall #3 falls of crowley

[cheesus-doodles]

i wonder how izana is like if he had a s/o during the time when he was the black dragon leader

Red Dragonflies Masterlist | Masterlist

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i have actually answered this previously in these Relationship HCs ! and this is also the case in my red dragonflies AU, former gang leader reader is actually Izzy's s/o when he was the black dragon leader - have linked the masterlist up top cough

but because I like to rant, here are some more thoughts about yan black dragon-era Izzy and you, which can apply to both regular reader and gang leader reader!

Izana was probably already very unstable and jealous during his time as the 8th Gen Black Dragon leader, what with the entire situation between Shinichiro constantly talking about Mikey, and learning that the Black Dragon gang would go to said boy instead of him. Combined that with him having found you as an s/o, someone that Izana would see as his, something that he could finally own and keep to himself without having to share (unlike the whole situation with Shinichiro), no doubt that it wouldn't take long for Izana to swing into yandere tendencies, becoming extremely overbearing and overprotective over you.

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With you around, there is a very clear difference in Izana's mannerisms and general behavior. Almost a personality flip in fact, it's night and day how he acts in your presence and when you aren't present. After all, there's a certain way that Izana wants you to perceive him as, and then there's everything else - so this white-haired boy would be sure to carefully tailor and adjust how he acts around you to what he knows you like (to a certain degree of course). As long as you don't threaten the status quo, as long as you keep by his side and his side only, your precious Izzy is whoever you want him to be. Loving, kind, doting, he can almost seem to read your mind and predict your moods.

Knows how to make you feel better after a shitty day, knows what to say and what to do to get you falling heads over heels for him over and over. But don't let that fool you into thinking that you were beyond his manipulation, because nope, not a chance. If he even has the slightest doubt that you were drifting away from him, or worse, thinking of leaving him, expect for Izzy to start subtly tearing you down. He wouldn't sound any different from what he usually does, cooing, low, soft murmur, but the things that slip from his mouth; it pokes at your insecurities, stirs the doubts you have about yourself. Yes, you were the most beautiful person he had laid eyes on, but did you think that really extended to everyone? Surely, surely you know that only he can love you like this? You couldn't possibly survive away from his side the way you are, right?

In his mind, Izzy is only doing it because he loved you as much as he did - you were made for him, like he was made for you. He couldn't live without you, so even if he had to hurt you a little, it'll all be worth it. You'll see that it was all for you.

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Wouldn't be uncommon to see him roaring down streets, both city and mountain ones alike, on his motorbike with you clung to his back and with no specific destination in mind - just likes to spend time with you, brings you anywhere that you want to go. Besides, the delinquents in the city, be they Black Dragons or rival scum, know better than to stare at the two of you. Loves light, airy places, so be prepared to spend a lot of time just hanging out together on rooftops and mountains, somewhere where you can feel the breeze through your hair, where Izzy can get you all to himself. All your attention being on him is the best kind of date.

There's no such thing as privacy, period. He absolutely needs to know everything that happens in your life, and anything less would earn you a full tantrum and fit. Put simply, its either Izana is there, hovering next to you and keeping one violet eye on all your ongoings, and no doubt this baby boy has someone (cough Inupi cough) tagging you from a respectable distance when he isn't free. That is, on top of having unfettered access to everything on your phone; call logs, messages, photos. Nothing is secret from him, why would it be? What do you have to hide from your partner?

You don't go anywhere new without Izzy. Why do you have to? What were you hiding? Your future husband would be happy to take you anywhere you have to go: cafe, the new department store downtown, even festivals. So unless you were trying to hide something from him, why wouldn't you want him to go along? Don't you know how dangerous it is out there? What if you get jumped by a rival gang? Needless to say, keeping presents a secret from this boy isn't a walk in a park.

‎‎

Everything else that Izana doesn't think you would approve of seeing would be done out of your sight. He doesn't like having you see the darker side of your boyfriend, the one that deals with weapons and drugs, the one that beats people, both civilians and his own gang members alike for the mildest of perceived infringements against you. You were too soft, too delicate for that. What if you got scared off? What would he do if you became frightened of him?

Instead, all his rage, all his hatred, he poured into the Black Dragon gang, leading them down darker and darker paths. The entire world was scum as far as he was concerned, trash that he had to beat and flatten into perfection so you didn't have to foul your hands and feet.

Sure Izana couldn't keep Shinichiro to himself as much as he desperately wanted to, the first time he truly found family - the source of a lot of his anger and jealousy. He hated Mikey, and always will, for stealing his older brother. But you were perfection, divinity, and you filled the hole in his heart; you didn't have to see that side of him if you just stuck by his side and returned his love. You were the only thing giving stability to a very fragile Izzy, and god only knows what would happen to him if that stability ever left. Izana would give you the sun and the moon if you wanted them both, all he asked for in return was your loyalty.

#tokyo revengers #tokyo revengers x reader #yandere tokyo revengers x reader #yandere tokyo revengers #tokyorev #tokyorev x reader #tenjiku x reader #yandere izana x reader #izana x reader #tokyo revengers izana #kurokawa izana #izana kurokawa #izana fluff #izana scenarios #tokyorev imagines #tokyo rev #inupi seishu #inupi #tokyorev hcs #cheesus answers #former gang leader darling #red dragonflies gang

[becausegoodheroesdeservekidneys]

Odd question but - I'm looking to study in the UK this fall, and I'm trying to get to grips with the grading system. Could you explain the grading boundaries to me please? It's different from the US, as far as I can see!

I found this handy table which you might find useful - I don't really understand the US system either lol.

Here's what I will say though - I have many times before seen Americans online seeing the percentages for the UK grade boundaries and immediately wax lyrical about how EASY and SIMPLE it must be to do well in the UK because OH MY GOD I could tooootally get 70%!!! In the US that's barely a C!!! Wow education must be soooo simple in the UK -

And uh. I have seen very few Americans in those discussions stop and ask themselves how much harder it might be to hit 70% in the UK. Which, as the international academic office in every university will tell you, is the crucial question you absolutely should be asking. Does an American 70% look the same as a UK 70%?

(It Does Not.)

So don't be fooled by that! Over here, at undergrad the pass mark is 40%. 40-49% gets you a third; 50-59% gets you what's varyingly known as a lower second (formally), a 2:2 (most commonly), or a Desmond (by sad people. It's a reference to Desmond Tutu - two two). A 2:2 is also the most commonly awarded degree classification over here.

60-69% is a 2:1, or upper second class honours. And then the top level is the first - 70% and up. The vast majority of firsts are earned by students who got 70-79%. Exceptional work pushes into the 80s. It is incredibly rare that you ever see a mark in the 90s, and when you do, it's almost always on maths papers where there are right or wrong answers and that's it.

I can't remember how the US's summa cum laude etc stuff maps onto that, though you could probably find that on Google as well. But as a rule of thumb, think first = excellent, 2:1 = good, 2:2 = fair, and third = you need to be careful and see what you can do to improve (although that is still a pass at university and that is not to be sniffed at).

Ooh, as a final point, though, there's also how assessment works, which again, I know is very different over here (again I don't really understand it in the US). Your lecturer cannot set random work here and there to count as summative assessment. Every module is different in how it's set up, but let's give an example:

Module: Coastal and Marine Conservation Two assessments, each worth 50% of the final grade. Assessment 1: A report on the biodiversity of Ramsey Island in the Pembrokeshire Coast National Park. Explore the cause of the lower biodiversity there than nearby Skomer/Skokholm; how was this challenged/rectified? How have species recovered since? What should be done into the future? Assessment 2: A two-hour closed book exam. Half of this exam (50 marks) will be a mix of short and medium length questions; things like "Define these five terms (two marks each)", or "Describe the process of longshore drift and its impact on sedimentation patterns (15 marks)" or what have you. The second half is a 50 mark essay - pick one of three essay questions offered, and off you go. (Essay questions are a staple feature of exams over here, and multiple choice questions are extremely rare and generally frowned on as being Not Sufficiently Academic.)

Now, in the case of this module, these are the only two assessment points. Both the report brief and the exam paper are registered with the academic office in the summer before the academic year even starts, and both are triple verified - by the lecturer who writes/sets them, by an internal verifier in the department, and an external verifier from another university. This is part of quality control.

If, for some reason, you fail one of these, or cannot submit them by their due date, or what have you, you still have to do them. If you claim for Extenuating Circumstances (e.g. "I was made homeless and my cat blew up, so I couldn't do it in time") then you get an extension on it; as long as you submit by the end of the academic period, you're fine. If you don't, you need to resit it. This normally means over the summer after the main term ends.

But, in the UK system what we can't do is go "Okay never mind, how about you submit a write-up of the volunteering you're currently doing with SeaLife instead and we'll count that?" The reason being, under the UK system that is not a quality-controlled solution. That has not been checked and verified as an equivalent assessment to what the rest of the class has done; so if you do that and get a 2:1, there is no assurance that you are actually of the same academic quality as one of your peers who got a 2:1 for that research report on Ramsey's biodiversity.

Which... don't let it scare you! As I say, there are a LOT of systems that can help you if things start going wrong (always, always, always keep Student Support and your lecturers in the loop). But that is a different system from what I understand you might be used to, so heads up on that.

(I am not arguing that one is better than the other, by the way. Last time I explained a difference in the UK university system I got a very hostile and aggressive American in the notes throwing a right strop over how terrible the UK system clearly is because XYZ, right up until I had to actually say "I am literally just describing how it's different, not claiming superiority," and then they went mysteriously quiet and stopped replying. So to forestall that, I am only describing the differences. There are advantages and disadvantages to each.

The UK system is certainly more inflexible. But it does, incidentally, at least free you from the tyranny I see reported so often by US students of the dreaded Tenured Professor who deliberately as a matter of pride sets impossible exams that everyone fails. Over here, that shit Does Not Fly. So there's that.)

Anyway - hopefully that answers your question! Any others, hit me up. Good luck, and enjoy your studies!

#asks #the professional world of careers and tasks

[maespri]

your turn to die characters ranked by how painful their death was (and why)

okay. crazy title, i KNOW. but this was actually so interesting to talk and think about. at least for me.

spoilers ahead, and TRIGGER WARNING. this post is going to go into detail about each death. it’s going to get gory and upsetting. if you don’t think you can handle hearing about that, please keep scrolling!

everything is under the cut, because this post is LONG, i'm warning you now.

some backstory: i have a special interest in anatomy and physiology, and i've always thought about how the different deaths in your turn to die worked. my wonderful friend @lovivelle and i talked about this topic extensively last night and they made this tier list with me! so, here's the ranking and explanations!

this ranking ONLY covers HUMAN deaths, because dolls/dummies do not feel pain.

quick glossary: exsanguination: death caused by bleeding out hemorrhaging: bleeding necrosis: cell/tissue death hypoxia: inadequate oxygen supply hypovolemic: loss of fluid in the body, often referring to blood or water shock: life-threatening condition where the body does not have enough blood circulating through it crush syndrome: medical condition where skeletal muscle is crushed for a prolonged time, resulting in shock and organ failure hematemesis: vomiting up blood hemoptysis: coughing up blood TBI: traumatic brain injury immolation: death by burning; being burned alive

the tier list:

OUCH!! (most painful):

nao: nao's death involves her ribcage being crushed. i put her at number one for what i hope are obvious reasons. for starters, her death is drawn-out, making the pain last even longer. while her ribcage is being crushed, any internal organs are being crushed as well. her bones are probably splintering and breaking off and piercing her insides and organs. overall... just horrible pain. official cause of death: internal hemorrhaging and irreparable damage to organs.

kurumada: kurumada's death involved being crushed (between two walls), which is similar to nao's. i would put their pain levels as being equal to each other, but kurumada's has the potential to have been less painful than nao's, because we don't know how quickly the walls crushed his body. if they were moving slowly, the pain would've been drawn-out and agonizing, and in that case, i would make the argument that his death was more painful than nao's. but if it was very quick, he would've just felt blinding pain in his entire body for a few seconds before it would end. we do have to keep in mind that kurumada is clearly quite muscular however, which probably provided some resistance against the walls, but only served to draw out his pain even further. official cause of death: muscle necrosis, internal hemorrhaging, and irreparable damage to internal organs due to crush syndrome.

either way, both definitely experienced, in my opinion, the most painful deaths in the game.

YOWZA! (very painful):

mishima: mishima's death results from his collar slowly heating up and burning his neck until his head disconnects from it. i don't even have the words to describe how painful this would be. the fact that the collar heats up slowly and it is drawn out only makes it worse. if you've ever burned yourself before anywhere on your body, you know how painful it is. imagine that pain centralized around your neck. mishima might have the fortune of his nerves being burned off after a certain amount of time, which would mean he wouldn't feel anything (think third-degree burns burning through to muscle, tissue, and nerve endings). but at that point, because the burning is around his neck and your neck contains- A) your spine/spinal cord and B) your trachea, which allows you to breathe- anyway and burning it in half would definitely kill you, he may be dead before he even has time to not feel any pain. either way, this shit would hurt so bad. official cause of death: cerebral hypoxia due to decapitation.

hinako: hinako technically has two deaths, but we ranked her based off of her being drilled. a lot of questions actually arose when my friend and i were talking about the drill deaths, because we don't know the speed at which the drills move. i mean, whether they're moving quickly or slowly, it would still obviously hurt- but the faster the drill, the quicker the death, which would make it less painful. being drilled would be unbearably painful for the sole fact that she might be alive for a lot of the drilling until it reaches any vital organs. no matter what, it'd be very painful. official cause of death: hard to say for certain, but would most likely be from exsanguination... y'know, from her body being split in half by a giant drill.

kugie (kanna's sister): my friend and i were FLOORED when we looked into kugie's death. in the game, i don't think we get a canonical answer specifically as to how she dies, but in the manga, we do. kugie and kanna have the same first trial as joe and sara, but they don't succeed. in it, kugie's bed literally snaps and essentially folds her in half. in the image from the manga, we can see blood flying out from the bed (implying it happened very quickly, because if it were slow, the blood would instead drip and flow), and kugie's hand sticking out between the two slabs of the bed. i think this death is the most painful out of the entire "YOWZA!" category because kugie was probably alive and in immense pain for at least a few seconds or even minutes after the bed snapped. if i had to speculate official cause(s) of death:

i would guess her lumbar vertebrae (basically the bottom discs of the spine) and spinal cord snapped, cutting off sensation and sending her into shock.

if she was folded in half, her legs would have quickly shot up, meaning her torso was likely unnaturally slammed into by both them and the bed, and sustained massive trauma. this would cause internal hemorrhaging and damage to her organs.

the blood spurting out of the bed was likely from her head. i'm a teenage girl, likely the same height or around the same height as kugie, and when i bend in half, my face is level with my knees. knowing this, her knees probably slammed into her face and broke her skull, causing a TBI.

the combination of all of that would have first caused terrible pain for, like i said, at least a few seconds or minutes- we don't see how extensive the damage really was, so i can't say for certain... but yeah.

aughhh (painful):

joe: joe's death is really interesting to think about, because upon first glance, you might think it's one of the most painful- but there are a few things i considered with him. his death is a result of wrigglers draining the blood out of his body. because we don't know how large the wrigglers are, i can't say how painful it would be when they enter his body- but i'd have to guess they're on the smaller side, like little tubes, because if they were big, they would have difficulty sucking out his blood due to how small blood vessels are. it would hurt horribly to have the wrigglers enter his body and drain the blood. we don't know if they moved around through his blood vessels- if they did, that would definitely exacerbate the pain- or if it was more just like getting blood drawn. but what i considered with him, the thing that makes his death less painful than the others, is the fact that he would probably pass out long before he's even fully dead. the amount of blood he's losing at such a rapid pace would first make him dizzy and disoriented before he just... passes out. his entire body would start shutting down very quickly and he wouldn't even be awake for it. his body would give up on transporting blood to the extremities and non-vital organs and shift only to transporting what little blood it can to keep vital organs running. when that blood runs out, the heart will stop being able to pump enough blood throughout the body and to the brain, and joe would actually be dead. so... yeah. official cause of death: hypovolemic shock resulting in organ failure.

shin: shin dies after being fatally injured by the death game's security system. while it's unclear exactly how the security system killed him, i believe he was stabbed/impaled somehow. there are a few questions regarding exactly where he was stabbed, but i assume he was hit somewhere in the torso because he has blood coming out of his mouth. if you don't know:

blood coming out of the mouth can be a result of haematemesis (vomiting up blood), which is where blood wells up in the stomach/digestive tract due to trauma in that area

it can also be a result of haemoptosis (coughing up blood), which results from being stabbed in the lungs/trachea due to trauma in that area

my guess is he was stabbed in the stomach, because if he were stabbed in the lungs, he'd be coughing and frothing at the mouth struggling to breathe. if i'm remembering correctly, he's also shown to be clutching his abdomen after turning on the joe AI, so... my money is definitely in the stomach.

which, you guessed it, would hurt. a lot. and there's no workaround. he's strong enough to drag himself to the rubble room and turn on an AI before dying. he would've been in blinding pain that entire time before dying.

official cause of death: exsanguination.

reko: reko technically has three canonical deaths, which made her hard to rank. i'll cover them all.

strangulation (hanging by collar): being hung is painful, but i think people underestimate how terrifying it is too. reko would have been terrified and in immense pain for a few minutes before dying. everything in her neck would be getting crushed and pressed on by the collar thanks to gravity. overall... awful death. official cause of death: cerebral hypoxia due to strangulation.

stabbed: same as what i said for shin. terrible pain for however long until she ultimately bleeds out. official cause of death: exsanguination.

fake-reko falling headfirst onto a spike: this one's... interesting! mainly because i think she would actually just be dead instantly. if the spike pierces her brain, she won't even really have time to process "ow!" before just. being dead. official cause of death: severe TBI resulting in death.

owie (painful, but not as painful as others):

q-taro: q-taro is stabbed in the back by mai and slowly bleeds to death over the course of the chapter. the reason i put him so low is because he would definitely be in some pain, but i don't think mai stabbed him very well (no offense girl). he's able to walk around, talk, and do stuff with the others after being stabbed, at least for a little while. it's difficult for me to pinpoint what exactly killed him because of this. i'd imagine his body began repairing the stab wound in his back, but ultimately, blood loss and the disruption to everything surrounding his spine (because mai stabs him in the back) is probably what killed him. depending on how deep mai's knife was, the blade may have even pierced or grazed internal organs such as q-taro's heart or a lung. his body probably put most of its focus on keeping his internal organs running whilst simultaneously trying to repair them, which tired him out over the course of the chapter, before it ultimately couldn't keep up with the amount of blood being lost. a hasty bandaging job using an office first-aid kit is not ideal for stab wounds.

*edit: this person corrected me regarding q-taro's death! i still think the severity of his injury could have killed him before the coffin cremation system actually killed him, plus the information is interesting, so i'm keeping it. but technically, being burned alive is actually what killed him. ouch.

official cause of death: exsanguination OR immolation.

kai: kai's death is kind of up in the air in terms of the specifics, but we know he kills himself during the first main game by cutting his arms. in order for this to kill him, and for him to have bled out as fast as he did, he likely cut his axillary and/or brachial artery. your brachial artery runs down the front of your bicep and is an extension of your axillary artery, which is in your upper arm/armpit. if kai cut deeply into both his brachial arteries, and/or his axillary arteries, he would bleed to death very quickly. it would be really painful, but i think adrenaline and the probability he'd pass out immediately would certainly be on his side here, making it at least a little less painful. either way, he dies quite fast, so. official cause of death: exsanguination.

uncertain (i'm not sure!):

this category is for the characters who have one or more variables that make it difficult or impossible to determine how painful their death was.

kanna: first of all, the way kanna dies is impossible in real life. lets just get that out of the way. you cannot have flowers sprout out of your body. that immediately makes it impossible to tell how painful it would be for her.

if i were to suspend my disbelief for this, however, here's what i have to say about it:

safalin says kanna is numb during her death, which would instantly give her a pain rating of zero. kanna is screaming during her death, but given what safalin says, that doesn't necessarily prove she's in pain. she could just be screaming out of fear.

if she weren't numb, yeah, she would be in a lot of pain. flowers and vines growing out of your body, poking out of your skin, running through your insides- that would hurt insanely bad.

but the fact that:

this death isn't possible in real life

kanna is presumably numb during her death

we don't specifically know how the seeds are working/moving inside her body

kind of made it impossible to rank her.

if i had to guess a cause of death, i'd guess severe disruption by the vines to her internal organs and processes is what ultimately killed her.

hayasaka: hayasaka's head is presumably cut off by a swinging axe. there are two reasons we put him in 'uncertain'; we don't know how sharp the blade of the axe is, and we don't know the velocity it's swinging at.

if the blade is swinging slowly and is very dull, it would take a few swings to fully cut off hayasaka's head, which would make it incredibly painful.

but if the blade is swinging very quickly and is super sharp, his death would be instantaneous, making it essentially painless.

so it's difficult to say, but either way:

official cause of death: decapitation.

ranmaru: ranmaru's death is in 'uncertain' because we

don't know exactly how that happened to his stomach

hear him talk about how he's numb to it

don't know how long he's been sitting there

i imagine he was in some pain and just putting up a front, but we just don't know for sure. and like i just said, we don't know what specifically killed him or how. we just see a wound in his stomach.

probable cause of death: exsanguination/hemorrhaging.

anzu: anzu's was between 'uncertain' and 'so quick.' we see spikes piercing her body, but the angle makes it difficult to tell exactly where they pierce, or how sharp they are, etc. if the spikes didn't hit her face/brain, she probably felt intense pain for some time from the neck-down before rapidly bleeding to death. if the spikes got her head, she'd die instantly. so.

probable cause of death: exsanguination? TBI? damage to internal organs/processes?

ranger: according to ranger's wiki, his human form was stabbed by an assassin. not nearly enough information to rank him with certainty.

cause of death: stabbed?

so quick (too fast to be painful):

both mai and alice's deaths were so fast, they fell into this category.

mai: mai shoots herself in the head. her death would have been immediate and painless since she shot herself in the brain.

official cause of death: fatal TBI.

alice: alice's abdomen explodes. if that happens, you're probably going to feel a very brief flash of pain before immediately dying, because the damage would be so extensive (shrapnel exploded his stomach, but there was undoubtedly collateral damage to his heart, lungs, and other organs around there). he would have been in shock if he did somehow manage to survive for a few more seconds. pain would be minimal or nonexistent in my opinion due to the sheer severity of the injury. and in terms of him being hung in chapter 3, it's the same as reko.

official cause of death: shock resulting from traumatic abdominal injury.

thats it!

if you for god knows what reason read all this, thank you! i'm honestly only posting it kind of for myself and my friend to look back on if i ever want to think about it again, but maybe someone will find it interesting.

questions, comments, concerns (of which i'm sure there are many)- i'm an open book. i'm not a professional by any means, but i am insane. bye!

#your turn to die spoilers #yttd analysis #your turn to die #yttd #kime ga shine #nao egokoro #naomichi kurumada #kazumi mishima #joe tazuna #reko yabusame #kai satou #shin tsukimi #sou hiyori #q taro burgerberg #kanna kizuchi #ranmaru kageyama #alice yabusame #live laugh anatomy

[trans-cuchulainn]

Could you recommend some good resources on accurate depiction of parchment in the medieval period? I feel like most people interested in medieval studies have a basic understanding of what it is and how it’s made, but you seem more well-versed than most on its tactile properties and regular use cases. Where can others acquire this knowledge?

most of what i've learned about manuscripts and book history has been either during my degrees or from work (i have worked in various libraries including with special collections, although mostly with early printed books and later paper manuscripts in that capacity). and in terms of what it's like to interact with, i have learned this mostly from interacting with it, but if you don't have a library or museum near you that will enable you to do this, it's a bit harder. this makes it hard to give recommendations although there are lots of very good books out there about books and manuscript history

(there's one i read early on in my journeys with palaeography etc that went into loads of detail about different writing surfaces including wood and wax tablets and so on, but i cannot remember the title and past me did NOT write it down which was really unhelpful. if i remember it i'll post about it)

there are also a ton of online resources about manuscripts though. lots of museums have online guides to manuscript production, parchment, writing through history. there's lots of codicology stuff out there. so it's not like you have to learn it in a formal environment -- that's just where i learned it and therefore mostly from lectures rather than shareable resources

but to understand parchment specifically i think understanding the process of making it is a crucial step to understanding why it is the way it is (and why it's not paper). here's a couple of youtube videos that give an overview

this is a more detailed video about a project that got people to make parchment themselves which is just kinda interesting (haven't watched it all the way through but am watching parts):

once you understand how parchment is made and the resources that go into it, i think it's easier to understand why it probably wouldn't be used for ephemera and scraps, and that helps you think about situations where people might use something else -- e.g. a wax tablet to take hasty notes, send messages that don't need to be permanent, send messages that are emphatically not permanent (your recipient can melt it and hide the note), etc -- as well as beginning to rethink the modern world's reliance on the written word in general and consider how oral messages and other non-written communication might have been used

as for the tactile side of things, as i said in a previous post, if you can't touch book parchment, go find your local irish musicians and see if the bodhrán player will let you handle their drum (or good quality orchestral timpani will do too! but with a bigger drum it's harder to feel both sides of the skin). drumskins made of goatskin are very similar on a tactile level to parchment, just a little thicker and not processed to quite the same level as a writing surface. it helps you stop thinking of them as super fragile once you realise people are whacking them with a stick regularly, and you can learn about the difference between the hair side and the flesh side of the skin and stuff and see the way the hair leaves traces in the skin and so on. this helps with the tactile understanding

(the cheaper the bodhran, the rougher the reverse side will be even if the front is still nice and smooth, which also makes you realise the difference between high quality books where you can barely tell which side of the page is the hair side, and low quality ones where they're not fully treated, there's still hair, whatever)

i talked to a conservator lately who told me the way he got into book conservation was via musical instrument repair -- they are more similar than you would think -- and i know trad musicians scattered far and wide enough to be reasonably confident that even if you're in an area with no touchable medieval manuscripts, you can probably at some point find a drummer who will let you play with their bodhrán in exchange for a pint or something, lol

but in the mean time there's lots of cool videos about there about parchment making which i do think is a crucial step to understanding it as a writing surface! and i will see if i can remember the names of any of the books i've read...

#maniculum #answered #parchment problems

[sapphire-weapon]

So. The tram scene.

Let's do it.

The tram scene in RE2make is a test that Ada fails spectacularly, and it's the scene that destroys the possibility of a romance ever forming between Leon and Ada in the Remake-verse.

The entire game leading up to this moment, Leon has not stopped questioning her. Sometimes he pushes back on her answers as being this side of unbelievable, but since she always does seem to have an answer ready, there's not much more he can do other than to take her at her word.

He follows her through Raccoon City for the sole reason that he gets the sense that she's going to lead him to the answers that he's looking for, one way or another. Either she really is FBI and he's helping out in a serious investigation, or she's not and she's part of the problem. Either way, his goal is to find out what happened to the city, so either way, he wins.

But he wants her to be FBI so badly. He wants it so fucking badly. But it feels wrong. Something about Ada is off, and he knows it.

The entire game is spent in a very careful dance between Leon and Ada. He's trying to probe her for information without being too obvious about his mistrust, and she's trying to give as little as possible without being too suspicious.

They both tip their hands at the very start of the tram scene.

Leon: "You know what I was thinking? I can't wait for the FBI to raid Umbrella headquarters and take those bastards to justice."

Leon says this because he knows how the FBI works. It's never stated explicitly in canon, but it stands to reason that Leon has a Bachelor's degree in criminal justice. He's spent a lot of money to study this, and he's still fresh out of school, with all of that knowledge still readily available in his head.

He knows that Ada's "investigation" makes no sense at this stage of the game; there's no reason for the FBI to still be gathering information. The city is fucked. It's time to clean up. He wants to see what Ada's reaction to this is -- if she'll promise that a raid is coming once she finds a way in, or if maybe she'll have some other response that shows that she also knows how the FBI works.

She doesn't.

Her response is:

"I agree... but to be clear, you're not working in official capacity. This is a federal case. Once we get the G-Virus, I'm back on my own."

It's a response that doesn't make sense and doesn't address what Leon actually said to her in the first place. He never mentioned being part of that raid; he never expressed a desire to aid the FBI in any way other than what he's already been doing. He just wants to know that a raid will happen.

But that's not what Ada says. She brings it back to the G-Virus, specifically, for no good reason.

Leon's body language is very telling in this moment. He basically gives up -- he all but rolls his eyes at her as he makes a dismissive half-shrug with one arm meant to convey "whatever" and turns his back on her.

He knows that she just gave him the wrong answer. And she senses immediately that she did, too -- which is why she's quick to follow up with: "Hey, Leon... Trust me?"

He doesn't answer. He turns back around, approaches her directly, and says: "You trust me?"

This is another subtle tactic to try to get her to tell him the truth. He's very discreetly saying that no, he doesn't trust her -- and that he knows that she's lying. He's asking her why she doesn't trust him enough to tell him the truth.

It flies right over her head. She answers: "Honestly... If I didn't, you'd probably be dead."

Again, she fails to address what it was that he actually said. Again, he's disillusioned by her. Again, it's written all over his face and his body language. He gives a bitter little "Right." and nods and turns away from her again.

And once again, Ada can sense that she's failing this test. She tries to pull him back in with: "Look, I thought I might need your help... and I was right. If you can secure the G-Virus, I can make sure what happened in Raccoon City never happens again." Admitting to needing help makes her seem vulnerable, which makes her seem honest. And she's able to strike directly at the heart of what Leon's been after all along: helping people, protecting people, and uncovering the city's secrets.

And because Leon wants to believe that she's FBI so damn badly, he takes this as the affirmation he was looking for. All of a sudden, he's quick to rush to her side, to sit down next to her, and start talking to her again like she really is a Special Agent.

Leon: "Ada... You said it yourself -- it's a federal case. I don't have the authority--" Ada: "Leon, look at me. I'm a liability now. If I'm gonna finish this case, you're the last hope I've got." Leon: "I'm not just gonna leave you here. What if you're attacked, what if you need help--"

That's when she kisses him.

And if you look at his face, he's not thrilled.

Ada kissed him because she smelled the virginity on him and thought that a move like that would addle his dumb man brain (side note: Ada and Lady D would get along so fucking well; no wonder why Ada was axed from RE8) and cement her hold on him. But his expression when she pulls away is one of profound disappointment; you can almost see the realization dawn on him in real-time that she actually, really, truly isn't an FBI Special Agent -- because an FBI Special Agent would have never done that.

If Ada had just let him ramble and then followed up with her next speech, she would've gotten away with it. But she didn't. She took that next step to kiss him, and that undoes all of her effort in winning him back over.

But at this point, what is he supposed to do? Say, "Just kidding"? Throw a fit and accuse her on the spot? With what evidence? He has none. "I just know" isn't evidence.

She keeps talking through the next few seconds, and Leon never cuts her off or joins in on the conversation. He just stares at her hand on his thigh with that same expression on his face until the tram arrives at NEST. Ada shoves the ID bracelet in his hand, and that's when he finally speaks.

And all he says is: "Okay."

He's decided to buy into her lie, despite knowing at this point that it's a lie, because he feels he has no other choice. And that's why the scene ends with:

Ada: "Leon. I'm counting on you." Leon: "... I know."

And not with Leon saying something more akin to, "I won't let you down."

And as he leaves, Ada drops her chin to her chest and stares at the floor. She already knows how badly she fucked that up. That's ultimately why she comes looking for him at the end of the game. As Leon walks out of the tram, Ada knows that she can't fully rely on him to do what she asked, because his unconvincing exit said so many more words than he did.

That's why she's so quick to draw a gun on him at the end of the game. She goes into the final confrontation with him already knowing that he already, on some level, knows. And all Annette Birkin did was give him the confirmation he needed.

When Leon says to Ada during that final confrontation: "As much as I wanted to trust you... I didn't." he means it.

There was never a romance between them in this version of events. He never fell for her, and she never fell for him. But that doesn't mean that there was no bond that built between them. Leon also meant it when he said: "We make a good team." In Remake, he truly wanted to be her partner -- her equal. Just... not her lover.

And as for Ada, I've said in the past that she's a selfish character in Remake, and I stand by that. But she's not a psychopath. Just because she's selfish doesn't mean that she's incapable of attachment or affection -- in fact, Ada's shown to be sentimental in a few different ways. She feels endeared to Leon the same way that someone would feel endeared to a stray cat that followed them around and rubbed against their leg for pets. And that's why she ultimately can't pull the trigger on him. (side note: this is also probably the reason why she refuses to call Ashley by name at any point in RE4make; it prevents Ada from getting attached to her in any sort of capacity, but that's for a different post.)

But there's just simply no evidence of a romance existing between Leon and Ada at any point in the Remake-verse. I've gone looking for it, and I can't find it. Aeon is something that only canonically exists in OG. Remake has no interest in it.

Anyone who says differently is applying OG dialogue and events to Remake, and that's just poor and invalid story analysis.

#resident evil #resident evil 2 #leon kennedy #ada wong #meta analysis

[fermiomoriblog]

The pitfalls of every Sunny ship

Diving straight into the hot coals with the first post. But it has been on my mind lately.

The setup in Omori is naturally quite mentally (and in some cases physically) taxing on every main cast character, and a shipper can very easily be overenthusiastic about getting a "happy ending" for their preferred pair, glossing over inconvenient problems and dynamics. I think that it really is rather contrary to the game's themes that this occurs, but it is also understandable that not everybody does a full psychoanalysis of every plot point in their story. I'll list some "common" problems I've personally encountered with people making content about sunburn, suntan and sunflower. I'm more familiar with the dynamics common on ao3 than elsewhere, so if you have any other observations or things to add, please feel free to do so.

# OMORI SPOILERS BELOW #

Sunburn

The "canon" ship. The fact that the ship is explicitly mentioned in game means that the ship is viewed as the "default", and it can lead to some lazy dynamics or lack of justification. You have to remember that no matter what headspace says (and headspace says a lot of things that aren't true), the first thing Sunny and Aubrey did after four years is beat the shit out of each other. Sunny knows nothing about the Hooligans, even though we do, and Aubrey thinks Sunny abandoned her (which is a feeling unlikely to abate after the truth). There needs to be basis for the ship as well - they aren't going to just pick up where they left off (presuming they had anything to leave off in the first place) right away. Which leads us to the first common problem:

Basing the relationship entirely on the past

This is the default reaction and requires the least writing creativity, so it is not surprising that it is common. Simply porting the HS dynamic or the swing scene to the future and copy-pasting is fun and cute and all, but it ignores the fact that both Sunny and Aubrey have changed massively. There's a lot of guilt that is going around, both with Sunny for obvious reasons and Aubrey for pushing Basil in the lake, and Aubrey has a bunch of new, closer friends whom depending on your interpretation are either theatre kids or delinquents. This is not really just going to get talked away on the swing set - they involve third parties.

I would venture to argue that this is actually a very problematic pitfall, despite it being generally not a very serious transgression in real life. Omori, as a game, is about moving on from the past. If you write a fic where the characters forget about bad things in the past but hang on like hell to the good things... that's Headspace. You've just put Sunny in a new Headspace.

Getting Basil out of the way

Even among sunburn/suntan shippers, it is pretty generally accepted that Basil was somewhat attached to Sunny even before the accident. So if you don't want to do sunflower, how do you deal with that?

You can write angst, where Aubrey and Basil end up fighting over Sunny. Weirdly, I've never seen this actually happen (probably because it's too heartbreaking). You can have Basil go to therapy, and get rid of an unhealthy attachment. You can also go the seriously angsty route of Basil hating Sunny for abandonment, Sunny hating Basil for his role in the incident, or a less intense version which just puts a barrier between the two. You can also have Sunny reject Basil. Or you can argue that the attachment was platonic, which is entirely fair.

What you cannot do is have Basil be romantically interested in Sunny, but "get out of the way" for Aubrey "so that Sunny can be happy". Or, well, you can do that, but you can't frame it as anything but serious angst from Basil's POV.

Unfortunately, many, many "pure fluff" Sunburn fics do this, because "pure fluff" fics don't want to untangle the whole thing as most methods involve some degree of emotional turnmoil. This is no ordinary infautation - Basil has waited for Sunny for four years. Nursing unrequited love like that is really, really painful. It is certainly not something that someone with Basil's character and history can do with a smile on their face. If you need any further convincing, I point you to Note to Self: Don't Be Gay in Faraway Town by witheredahlia.

A version of this which I think is a lesser sin (because it is at least framed with some nuance), but a sin regardless, is Aubrey getting annoyed at Basil for "stealing" Sunny's attention from her. This gets dangerously close to the reddit comments you see about "the friend group will be better off if Basil never joined".

Suntan

Despite sunburn being the "canon" and sunflower being the natural alternative, I actually think that this is the default. After all, Kel was the one to bring Sunny out, generally saving his life, and is his first friend, etc. Kel is also a clean slate character, with nothing anyone can particularly hold against them, and as a result suntan is the "healthiest", "least questionable" ship. This commits the customary mistake of believing Kel's parents when they say "eh, it's Kel, he'll be fine".

"Kel's fine"

No, he's not. He's spent the better part of four years trying to forget the happiest times of his childhood, and has been going around doing nothing but fixing and saving other people, putting others' needs far above his own, for the entirety of pre-canon and foreseeably for a good part of post canon as well. Suntan, especially with Sunny still in a vulnerable state post-canon, can very easily be written into Kel being Sunny's unpaid, untrained therapist, and his mood/health being Kel's only/majority source of validation. Kel's self-worth independent of his friends needs addressing and development, and without a lot of development, Sunny alone is not really equipped to provide that.

In all fairness, while I would be somewhat confident in saying that the majority of canon-compliant sunburn fics run into the problems above, suntan fics do usually handle it better. That might just be because there aren't that many suntan fics though.

Sunflower

It goes without saying that sunflower has the highest potential to be unhealthy. But precisely because of that fact, people writing sunflower are usually very careful to address it. Either the fic is written as a work exploring codependency/attachment/trauma/other general unhealthiness (which you can make your own judgement on whether it's a legitimate art form or problematic), or there is at minimum an attempt at pacing, therapy and general juggling of the various mental issues the game leaves Sunny and Basil with (for a shining example, see These Days Without You by Smitty1899, my go to answer for when anyone says "but sunflower toxic!!1!").

The issues that can make sunflower unhealthy and problematic are generally pretty obvious - shared crime, codependency and attachment, commitment and abandonment issues, and the whole "getting together before their friends forgive them" thing (which can still be done well, but from the POV of especially Hero can be kind of eh, and unlikely to be conducive to a healthy relationship given that it kind of depends on their friends' pending "approval".) As a result, there aren't a lot of works that don't address them in one manner or another. However, I do think there is one major pitfall that some fics fall into in the other direction:

Having everything in the relationship be dependent on someone else's approval.

In an attempt to make sunflower as healthy as possible, some authors make it so that Sunny and Basil effectively never make decisions on their own. There's always a third party present to psychoanalyse them, tell them what's fine and what's not, etc. and every step they make in their relationship is with the express blessing, support and help of the rest of their friends. The problem is, that's not healthy either.

I feel that the value of sunflower is greatest in the context of the themes of the game of moving on and forgiveness. Making it so that Sunny and Basil hang on to their guilt forever and robbing them of any "right" to decide for themselves what makes them happy is very much contrary to that - they're on crutches for the rest of their lives, and the point of the good ending is the hope that they won't need to be. It also is just not a good thing for any third party to intervene so extensively in a relationship.

Conclusion

Omori is emotionally deep, with many, many themes to explore. Ships in Omori have unique meanings and themes, which in a canon compliant context is quite hard to simply wipe away. Rushing into a ship with insufficient pacing and development, which works in "cute" fandoms, generally leaves lots of outstanding holes in Omori.

This post doesn't necessarily mean that I think less of any particular ship mentioned - to reiterate, every ship has unique meanings and themes which is interesting to explore and form a part of the message of the game. It is however true that some pitfalls in some ships are easier to fall in, and overlooked, than others, and the obvious problems get a lot more bashing than the non-obvious ones. (Yes, sunflower bias. Sue me.)

And of course, in a plotless or AU context, cute art is cute art.

#omori #omori sunny #omori basil #omori aubrey #omori kel #omori sunflower #omori sunburn #omori suntan #brainrot.txt #rant post

[sciderman]

I swear I have read your big post regarding Peter Parker's neurodivergence and why it is best to avoid labelling him, but he definitely has a weird brain

Can't find it and feel kinda sad about it cuz I deeply related to it

i know exactly which post you're talking about and i can't find it either! i've raked through my archive, and it's just - nowhere to be seen. i think tumblr eated it (it happens.)

really, tumblr's search functionality is so so useless, i don't know what to tell you. there are plenty of keywords i can search to find it that post, but the search functionality actually just does not work!

undiagnosed audhd-addled peter parker, my darling, my light, my life, my everything.

i think peter parker's such an interesting creature to write, because a lot of people will point to a certain behaviour about him and say "this is an autistic thing, right?" but a lot of those behaviours are actually, in my head, tied to certain traumas in peter's life too.

people say "oh, the food thing, peter's a picky eater because he's autistic" and yes, absolutely. but also it's tied to his trauma with his parents.

peter gets overstimulated, and yes, it's an autism thing, but also he was bitten by a radioactive spider and his senses are dialled to 11.

it's a similar case i've found for myself, too – where a lot of friends i have kind of diagnose me because i have autistic traits, but actually - i'm hesitant to claim the label or pursue diagnosis because, actually, i know where these certain behaviours come from, and they come from certain traumas. there are events i can pinpoint in my life and say "yep. that's where this behaviour comes from."

so - i think there's a lot of overlap between trauma and autistic traits. the brain is very complex! i think the reason for that overlap is maybe as simple as the fact that people with autism and people with trauma are both doing the same thing - developing behaviours to protect themselves or soothe themselves. so - i think it's nice to be able to see a character like peter parker, who may or may not be autistic, but recognise behaviours in him and see yourself in him.

people who go undiagnosed for whatever reason - people who are really good at masking - so good, in fact, that they have no idea they might be on the spectrum - everyone and anyone at all can look at peter parker and recognise themselves. because i think we discredit the thought that every single brain does the same thing! develops certain behaviours in order to survive. every brain has that same software - we've just all been faced with different hardships that we need to overcome, and that's were all the differences come in.

autism is a spectrum, i guess - everyone falls into it to some degree. and i think events in your life probably push you along on it. but i don't know, i didn't study brain science. probably what i'm saying is very stupid and uninformed. of course there's brain chemistry involved. but i know people in my life living with autism and certain events in their life have exacerbated certain behaviours or made coping with it a lot more difficult. so maybe trauma is a catalyst.

#a lot of my traits have been exacerbated lately and i remember it was much easier for me before #and some of my friends have said “oh it's because you've been masking too long and now you're facing autistic burnout.” #and that made sense to me i think. #but then i found out about the stress thing. me overproducing stress hormone. and that's a very physical thing. #and that explains why i've been overstimulated more than usual lately. and why everything feels like too much. #and i wonder how many of these traits of mine are going to subside once i have lamar removed #and it makes me wonder a lot of things. and it's so weird how much your brain is tied to your biology. #i wonder how much i'll change. i wonder how i'll feel. i wonder if i'll still feel like me. i wonder how much me is me right now. #and how much of me is being altered by weird freaky hormones. who am i?? who will i be?? #i'm almost looking at this as like. a superhero origin story of some sort. like this is my spider-bite moment. maybe. #will i be different? will i cope with things differently?? now that my body isn't fighting something anymore?? #maybe i'll be normal. i don't know. i don't know. #i don't know what it'll mean for me. #but all of these things mean i relate to peter parker in a certain kind of way #i don't think you have to be diagnosed with autism to recognise and empathise with those traits i think #i think everyone can see themselves in peter. and i think that's the benefit of having characters that aren't diagnosed. #because there's so much overlap in the human experience. and certain feelings aren't exclusive to just one group of people. #peter has such a rich identity actually. it's an autistic thing. it's a queer thing. it's a jewish thing. it's a trauma thing. #there are so many overlapping parts of peter's identity that inform who he is and how he behaves and it's never just one thing. #it's a product of all of his things. #just like me! just like everyone. #so me? i guess i can be a million things. you can explain what i am in a million different ways. #a hundred different psychologists can all come up with different ways to explain why i be the way i be. #i don't think it's something that can be simplified. #sorry wow. i'm really going off here in the tags. #i hope people don't think i'm stupid. i don't know brain science. i'm just philosophising as usual. #sci speaks

[suzukiblu]

More of the wet nurse omegaverse for @qwertynerd97. 

“Is there anything you’d especially like to eat, then? Snacks or drinks or anything else we can keep on hand for you?” Clark tries, obviously still trying to make nice with Carl, who still looks both uncomfortable with and confused by the attention. Which is an odd reaction from the kid, Bruce thinks, but maybe he’s embarrassed to engage too much with an omega who so obviously has so much more experience with pups than he does, considering that even though Clark’s got a good fifteen or twenty years on him, he’s still the one who’s an actual childcare worker. 

Or maybe he lost a litter very, very recently, and is just having trouble being around an omega mother. 

. . . well. Another omega mother, in that case. 

“Uh, no,” Carl says. “I can get my own food, it’s fine.” 

“Well, there’s not a convenient local grocery store, to be honest,” Bruce says, because that’s a bit of a concern there. “Alfred only makes the trip once a week and just shops all at once. And it’s our responsibility to feed you, you’re staying in my pack’s den, after all.” 

“So?” Carl says, looking puzzled. “I can still do it.” 

“There’s not exactly a corner store in the neighborhood, is what I mean,” Bruce clarifies. “The walk to the nearest grocery store is a good two hours from here, being optimistic. And then you’d be spending another two hours walking back with the bags.” 

“. . . uh,” Carl says. “And that’s . . . a long walk?” 

“With groceries?” Bruce raises an eyebrow at him. This kid definitely spends too much time in the gym. “Yes.” 

“Oh,” Carl says, his expression turning a little awkward. “Um . . . could I maybe hitch a ride with Alfred when he goes, then?” 

Bruce can think of almost nothing Alfred would hate more than being forced to grocery shop with someone else, but if they have to ease Carl into letting them feed him, so be it. Maybe he does have dietary restrictions or allergies and just doesn’t want to explain them, but considering he’s going to need to be eating a lot of extra calories to make anywhere near enough milk for Lor . . . yes, they’re definitely going to need to either buy him groceries outright or at least give him some kind of a budget for them. An expense account. A fucking credit card; Bruce doesn’t even care, at this point, as long as he doesn’t have to watch Clark watch his pup starve to death. 

“Sure,” he says, already planning to order the kid a credit card for grocery-related expenses, even if just as a temporary thing. Again, he doesn’t have to watch Clark watch his pup starve to death. This kid can feed himself however he wants, as long as it helps Lor. He can exist on goddamn organic truffles and saffron and caviar, as far as Bruce is concerned.

Alfred and Travers come back with exactly one backpack between them, Alfred looking mildly pained about it, and Jon and Damian come back with a ridiculously high stack of linens, Damian looking incredibly pained about that. Bruce is in genuine disbelief that neither of them have dropped any of them, then makes a mental note to go check the hall and make sure there isn’t a trail of pillows and bedsheets leading back to the servants’ quarters. 

“Thank you, boys, but you could’ve just left those in the hall,” he says. Admittedly Carl doesn’t have an assigned room yet, but . . . 

“Uh, we just wanted to bring them!” Jon says, his face turning pink in embarrassment. 

Alright. So yes, he was deliberately bringing Carl nesting materials. Or–well, maybe not intentionally deliberately bringing Carl nesting materials, but all the same. 

Well, Jon is a beta, and it’s perfectly normal for beta pups to bring nesting material to omegas, presented or not, including ones they’ve nursed from. Especially nesting material they’ve scented, which Jon very definitely has. To the degree he probably rolled around in it, in fact, which would explain why none of it’s folded as neatly as Alfred would’ve. 

But yes. It’s perfectly normal for a beta to do that, even as a pup. 

Just it’s usually something done for packmates, not childcare workers they’ve just met.

“Thank you, Jon,” Clark says, looking just barely pained for just a flash and visibly forcing himself to smile. Visibly by Bruce’s standards, anyway. 

“It’s good?” Jon asks, not quite glancing at Carl as he asks. “We could go get more.” 

If there’s that much more to get in that specific linen closet, Bruce will be surprised, which is saying something in the manor. Carl could make a fortress of a nest out of all that, though. 

“Yeah, sure, that’ll keep me for a while,” Carl says, which is definitely not a response to the standard of pack manners, but he says it while looking besotted again, and Jon still beams in delight. Carl shifts Lor to his hip and grabs his bag from a visibly pained Travers to sling over his arm, and then does another odd little juggling maneuver and somehow manages to get all of the linens off both Jon and Damian and all precariously-stacked in one arm. Bruce has absolutely no idea how he didn’t end up under an avalanche of linens or how said stack is staying up, but Carl looks unconcerned. 

Well, omegas do have a lot more experience carting around large amounts of bedding without dropping it than the rest of them do, Bruce supposes. And given that Carl’s stray, he probably gets more practice than most. 

It doesn’t actually seem to have occurred to Carl to put down Lor, though. Which–there’s no reason he needs to, admittedly, and the two of them have just feral-bonded, but Bruce would’ve preferred Lor gone back to Clark. That’s probably a little too much to expect a pup who’s been slowly starving for lack of milk and can’t be expected to understand why his new dam didn’t get milked up for him after all this time to ask for, though, so it’s not as if Bruce blames the kid. 

He knows Clark doesn’t blame him either, but he still wishes the other didn’t have to feel like Bruce knows he must feel right now. Clark is an independent and practical omega, but he still grew up in a society full of people who have certain expectations for omegas, and more than that, he has personal nursing-related trauma and is the kind of person who’s willing to take the weight of the whole damn world on himself and himself alone. 

So of course he’d be bothered by something like this, and of course he’d feel like he was letting his pup down. 

That’s really not what’s happening here, of course, but Bruce knows better than to expect Clark to feel differently, whether he understands that fact on a practical level or not.

#qwertynerd97 #omegaverse #wip: the wet nurse omegaverse #long post

[footy-fictionist]

Graduation - Jude Bellingham

Pairing: Jude Bellingham x female reader

Warnings: fluff, little bit of sadness, cliché meeting

Word count: 1411

Note: my first Jude imagine, I hope you all enjoy. As always, I don't know Jude and have no clue what he is like, so this is how I imagine him. Pure fiction, please do not copy or publush my work. Reblogging is totally fine. Please let me know what you think. English is not my first language and if I missed anything, please let me know.

She’d been working incredibly hard the past four years. Her sports degree was a tough course and the assignments took up a lot of time. She was honestly surprised she’d even found the time to meet her boyfriend, Jude. She needed a break during her third year of Uni and decided to spend it in Germany. She’d always loved football and according to the stories of others, the Signal Iduna Park was a stadium you had to visit. And that’s what she did. She never imagined bumping into Jude Bellingham a day before the game. She decided to take a walk to clear her head of all the Uni assignments and as she closed her eyes, enjoying the sun, she bumped into someone. She immediately started apologizing, as did the person she bumped into. That’s when they looked into eachothers eyes for the first time.

They hit it off immediately and Jude asked her to get a coffee with him, to which she agreed (of course). After the coffee they parted ways, but as Jude walked away he realized he never got her number. He immediately turned back around but she was already gone. He didn’t expect to see her again, only to find her at the front row of his game the next day. He was warming up when she smiled at him and gave a little wave when they met eyes again. He smiled brightly back at her and just before going back into the tunnel, he went to her and asked if she could stay a little longer after the game, to which she agreed. He scored two times that day, one time on the field and one time when he got her number after the game. 

The rest is history and they just celebrated a year of their relationship. It wasn’t easy, first of all it’s a long distance relationship and second, they are both incredibly busy. But they always put in the effort for each other and they made it work. She went to games whenever she could and he would meet her in England whenever he had a bit of time off. But finally everything would be getting easier. She’s graduating and he will probably get a move during the summer. That would give them the opportunity to start over somewhere together. She could decide on a master wherever they’d go, because she definitely wanted to do some more studying. This isn’t a problem at all for Jude, he loves how smart she is and how much she cares about her own education.

But there still is a little bump in the road. Jude won’t be able to make it to her graduation. He had some sponsor obligations and he would be at Adidas headquarters during the ceremony. This of course didn’t feel right to either of them. She was incredibly disappointed that he wouldn’t be there, especially after she learned that she and her friends wouldn’t be graduating on the same day. Because their year was so big, they split the group into two days. She was the only one of her friends on a different day. So when Jude said he wouldn’t be able to make it, she almost burst into tears. But she put up a brave facade and told Jude it was fine, that the sponsor was very important.

Jude of course, saw right through it. He knew how upset she was and that’s why he immediately contacted both Adidas and his family. Whilst discussing a different date with Adidas he informed his family of her graduation date and asked them to be there for her in case Adidas wouldn’t work with him to change the date. Of course Denise, Mark and Jobe made sure they would be there, whether Jude would be there or not. They all love her and they would happily go to support her. This made Jude feel a little better about the situation, but he still tried his best to change the date. Unfortunately that also meant rescheduling with the other footballers in the sponsorship, which was the hardest part.

In the meantime, she wasn’t aware of his efforts as she focussed on the last few assignments before graduation. For all she knew, only her parents would be there to support her. It made her feel quite sad at times, but she accepted that Jude couldn’t always be there for her when she WANTED him to. But she knew he would always be there for her when she NEEDED him. And for her that’s enough, because he has never let her down when she needed him. Unbeknownst to her Jude finally managed to plan a new day for the promotional sponsorship, the same day she handed in her last assignment. He didn’t tell her though, wanting to surprise her on graduation day.

So when graduation day finally arrives, he’s the first to send her a text, saying how much he loves her and how proud he is of her. It means the world to her, because even though he won’t be there, he is thinking of her. So she thanks him and gets ready. She grabs her favourite outfit and everything else she needs for the day. As she arrives at the University, she sees her parents already there and to her surprise and delight, she also sees Jude’s parents and Jobe. The tears already gather in her eyes and she isn’t even close to receiving her diploma. She hugs all of them, thanking them for coming and being there for her. Denise hugs her the longest.

“He’s so proud of you and he is really upset he can’t be here for you darling.”

Hearing Denise’s words causes a few tears to slip out of her eyes. She slowly pulls away and immediately Denise is drying her tears. It’s a happy day and she needs to save her tears. They all walk into the University hall together. She soon enough splits with her loved ones to take her seat amongst the other graduates. After the introduction speech, everyone’s name is called one by one. When her name is called she can already hear her loved ones cheering for her, Jobe’s voice overpowering everyone else's. As she takes a hold of her diploma, she takes a moment to look out over the crowd, knowing that her parents would want pictures. But as she scans the crowd, her heart stops for a second only to start beating twice as fast right after.

He’s here, he’s actually here. That’s the only thing she can think of the second she locks eyes with Jude. He’s standing right in the middle of Jobe and her mom. Smiling brightly at her and when he sees she’s noticed him, he starts cheering as well, even louder than Jobe. She’s about ready to jump off the stage to get to him, but she keeps to the ceremony and takes back her seat. This doesn’t stop her from glancing back every few seconds to make sure he is really there. And everytime she looks back, their eyes lock and he gives her a proud reassuring smile, telling her he’s really there and not going anywhere. The second the ceremony is over, she can’t get to Jude fast enough. Where Jude expects her to kiss him straight away, she does the unexpected. She hits him over the head with her diploma before wrapping her arms around his neck. He stands there shocked with his arms at his side for a moment, before wrapping his own arms around her waist.

“What was that for?!”

“For lying to me. You said you had the sponsorship, but clearly you’re not there.”

“I’m sorry love, I managed to change the date and then decided I wanted to surprise you. But it’s a good surprise right?”

“A great surprise.”

Their words are exchanged in semi-soft whispers. She pulls her chin off his shoulder to look him in the eyes. she doesn’t think he’s ever looked at her like this. Incredibly proud, like she’s hung the stars in the sky herself. No other words are exchanged for a bit, just taking each other in. Jude presses a soft kiss to her nose before kissing her lips. A smile is permanently stuck on both of their faces. Until Jobe decides he’s had enough of the lovey dovey stuff.

“Ey, we’d like to congratulate her as well. Move over! I wanna hug my sister.”

#jude bellingham x reader #jude bellingham x female reader #jude bellingham imagine #jude bellingham one shot #jude bellingham fanfic #football imagine #football imagines #football one shot

[marlynnofmany]

There’s No Aggression Like Passive Aggression

“So is this a food plant, or a decoration plant?” I asked, adjusting my grip on the clear case as I walked. “Or do we know?”

Zhee flicked an antenna. “Not my business.” He faced forward, businesslike, but with bug eyes that size, there was no need to turn his head.

Paint looked up from elbow height. “I think it’s food,” she said, giving the package a discerning stare. The alien flowers were a similar orange to her scales. “I’ve seen these at markets before. They’re expensive.”

“Makes sense,” I said. The private estate that we’d been walking across for some time now was covered in the most rigidly cultivated berry bushes I’d ever seen. Even the pathway was paved in thick moss, pruned to within an inch of its life. The owner of this place had both money and a fondness for plants. Especially edible-looking ones.

A berry dropped to the path ahead of us, then was snapped up by something that darted out of the undergrowth. I couldn’t tell you if it was an animal or a robotic gardener.

“Don’t ask the client,” Zhee said. “Keep that curiosity to yourself. Best behavior and extreme politeness.”

“Right,” I agreed. “Soooo… any tips on what that means for this particular culture? I haven’t met them before.”

Zhee walked stiffly, with only his shiny purple legs moving. “I haven’t either.”

I blinked. “What? I thought you were the expert.” I looked to Paint, but she was shaking her head.

“None of the crew has met them in person,” she said. “I think this whole area usually gets deliveries from a specific company, or individual, or something — anyways, it’s not us. We’re the last-minute replacement.”

“Uh-huh.” I held the bio-shielded case full of expensive plants a little tighter. “So they’re rich, probably important, and if we do anything to displease them, we’ll never make another delivery in this part of the system again.”

Zhee clicked a pincher arm. “Accurate.”

Paint spread her scaly hands in what was probably a calming gesture. “It shouldn’t be that bad,” she said. “We’ll just hand the package over quietly, and not make a fuss. We know some things about the client.”

“Do tell,” I said. “I wasn’t up front when the captain took the call.”

Paint ticked off points by counting on her knuckles. “The client is the only one who lives here, though she throws big parties. She didn’t seem to like talking more than necessary. She has very fancy fur patterns. Prey species.” Paint looked up a bit guiltily. “I misses the name of the species, but they eat plants, and evolved with some big predators that aren’t a problem anymore. Captain Sunlight said so.”

Zhee made a quiet noise that I interpreted as confidence that they wouldn’t have been a problem for him anyways.

“So I guess we’ll be polite by keeping quiet and not making any sudden movements,” I said. Then I looked at Zhee, with his shiny exoskeleton and natural blade arms. “If she looks afraid of you, hang back.”

Zhee scoffed, but paused to let Paint and me get a single step ahead.

We reached an archway woven with multicolored vines and dangling pea pods. The hedges on either side were crisply trimmed to an absurd degree. And through it was a sprawling meadow of lounging spots, fountains, and flowering trees. Dozens of locals socialized there in absolute silence. I hadn’t heard a thing aside from the fountains.

I froze at the archway, with Paint and Zhee right beside me. A couple of the closest partygoers glanced our way, then ignored us with body language that felt pretty rude, honestly.

They all had elaborately-patterned fur: mostly spots and swirls, in the gold-to-brown range. Proportions that seemed just as comfortable on all fours as on two. Tall ears like many a prey animal that I’d known, very mobile and expressive, speaking a language of tilts and twitches that I could only guess at. Big eyes.

Paint whispered, “That’s her by the big fountain, with the starburst swirl patterns.”

“Which? Oh, there. You’re sure?” Those definitely were some fancy patterns — did she get her fur dyed? — and the cushy spot surrounded by red berries did seem like a place of honor.

“Yes, I saw her on the call,” Paint said firmly. “Oh, and that one too! The captain said they’re having some sort of feud.” She pointed at an especially bright-furred party-goer who was approaching the host.

I shifted uneasily. “Why isn’t the captain doing this delivery?” I muttered.

“Busy,” said Zhee.

Paint sighed. “Busy. But look; I think they made up. We should be clear to approach.”

The golden-blonde local had strolled over to within a few lengths of the host, then flopped down to lounge in the sun, looking just as relaxed as anyone there.

Anyone but the host. I saw her nostrils flare, and thought of rabbits.

“Wait,” I said urgently, holding out a hand. Paint and Zhee stopped. “That might be a ‘I’m a happier rabbit than you’ move.”

“A what,” Zhee said, just as the host scrambled to her feet with an angry thump to the ground.

Every head there whipped around to watch. The blonde offender was also getting to her feet, but not fast enough; the host tackled her into a vicious tumble of fur and angry screeching.

Others dashed over, but the fight ended quickly, and the offender was ejected from the party. A half dozen others escorted her towards the archway with tense body language of their own.

We were still standing there like idiots. Paint and I jumped to one side and Zhee to the other, letting the procession pass. Once they had, everyone was looking at us instead.

Not my best entrance, but here goes, I thought as I stepped forward with the plant held front and center. I heard Paint and Zhee fall in behind me.

There was an unnerving amount of silent staring as we approached, but nothing outright hostile, and nobody seemed afraid of Zhee. Good enough.

The host of the party was back on her mossy cushion, plucking berries and eating them one at a time with an air of deliberate haughtiness. She’d smoothed her fur, though there were a few damp spots. She looked past me as I set down the case.

Normally I would have said something cheerful to the client at this point, a friendly greeting, maybe a compliment or two, but this time I just held out the ID pad. With hardly a glance, she pressed her delicately clawed hand onto the screen. The beep of confirmation felt loud.

I nodded, stood smoothly, then backed up a couple paces before turning away fully. The three of us made our careful way back through the archway.

“Whew,” I whispered once we were out of sight. “All the friendliness of a firing squad.”

Zhee walked ahead, muttering about mammals and unnecessarily complicated social rituals.

“I’ve seen worse,” I told him. “This was just a bit of passive-aggressive ego drama.”

Zhee waved an arm in disdain.

I didn’t comment on the kind of ego drama that he himself was fond of.

“I’m just glad we didn’t walk out into the middle of all that,” Paint said.

“Seriously,” I agreed. “Might have dropped the package. And then what would we do?”

“Pee, scream, and run,” Paint declared.

I thought of that many gnawing teeth aimed in our direction. “Yeah, probably.” I held up a hand and pointed out a tiny pale scar. “I got bit by a rabbit once. Well, more than once, but this one left a mark. She was much like these guys, just a lot smaller. Every inch the princess, mind you, but I have known some very nice rabbits too.”

I told Paint comforting stories on the walk back to the landing pad, with Zhee pretending not to listen, and both of us pretending that we didn’t notice.

~~~

The ongoing backstory adventures of the main character from this book. More to come!

#my writing #the Token Human #humans are weird #haso #hfy #eiad #thanks to that post a little while ago about rabbit body language #ideas come from everywhere

[bp-zb1fics]

No, it’s not lasik

pairing: matthew x foreign student reader

genre: university au on crack (same verse as a little crazy and sunbaenim), fluff, comedy

tw/tags: teen movie makeover matt ver., pls just google lasik, mattbin unfounded allegaytions, zb1/bp side characters for comedy, a lot of banter, matt not curing a lot is canon but reader does and it's contagious, yes i love descriptions, cha woongki iconic queen, yaebin another iconic queen, the rain is a paid actor, wet tshirts, kinda stripping, kissing, making out, matt's still a loser but we love him, hanbin bday fic spoiler lowkey

wc: 2200

summary: matthew decided to give himself a makeover during your summer break.

a/n this is dedicated to @seok02, she loves matt and uni aus so here's a bit of both, i did my best, hope you like it nina~

Check my pinned for more fics~

It’s not on purpose. You just can’t stop staring. And before you can think, he’s staring back and you blurt it out.

“You’re blond.”

Matthew pauses as if he doesn’t know how to respond to that. You don’t blame him.

“Yes I am?”

You have no idea how to respond to this either.

When you and Matthew met as freshmen, he had a mop of brown hair that somewhat resembled a halfway bowl cut, chunky glasses that often slipped off his nose and a penchant for outfits that were at least 2 sizes bigger than his body. And you found him absolutely adorable. You also thought he was dating Sung Hanbin from the way he and the older boy seemed practically attached at the hip and their whole childhood friendship arc. 

It was only towards the end of that year when you found out that he and Hanbin, in fact, did not like each other that way. And also Hanbin was someone else’s slightly manic boyfriend with his subtle psycho tendencies that you’ve had the absolute displeasure of witnessing. In your defence, he also got like that with Matthew sometimes so it’s not like your assumption was entirely baseless. 

Now back to the situation at hand. 

“So did you finally get lasik?”

“Uh, contacts? And I still have glasses, you know, just in case.”

You goggle at the trendy, wire-rimmed frames he’s holding in place of the thick, hipster ones he used to sport. Also, since when did Seok Matthew show his biceps and have they always been this large? Did someone burn his closet and replace all those oversized shirts and pants for muscle tees and straight jeans? 

Maybe it’s just you but you feel the beginning of a headache trying to digest all…this. You narrow your eyes and let your exact thoughts at the moment run its course.

“Who the fuck are you and what have you done to Seok Matthew?

He sputters. Before he can answer, the door opens and Zhang Hao walks in. The senior stares at Matthew for a good ten seconds before producing a perfectly pleasant expression and saying.

“Oh Matthew, new haircut?”

Well, at least you’re not the only one. Now Matthew just looks sheepish.

“Something like that hyung.”

Chen Kuanjui follows shortly after Hao. Apparently his response to opening the door and getting jumpscared by Matthew’s new look is to freeze, eyes growing two sizes, spine arched, sort of like a cat who isn’t sure whether they’re actually in danger or it’s a prank. Several other members of the foreign student society arrive with varying degrees of reactions.

By the time Kamden slouches in, you’re almost expecting something other than his usual expression.

“Good morning,” he says to the whole group in general, eyes lazily wandering around the room before settling on Matthew. Like Hao, he takes a few good seconds to process. Then, he says.

“Matthew-ah, I don’t know what kind of drugs you were on when you decided to bleach your hair, get lasik and get dressed by some Kpop stylist but I want some of that.”

He sits down. Jay laughs. Nobody else does, probably because the only English speakers present at the moment are the four of you. Matthew sinks deeper into his seat, thoroughly flustered and bright red from all the unexpected comments.

“It’s contacts, not lasik” He mumbles, probably to Kamden. You decide now is the best time to avoid eye contact with everyone else in the room. Also, you don’t want to get caught staring at Matthew’s biceps as he flails frantically after nearly falling off his chair.

At least whatever the fuck happened over the summer didn’t come with an attitude change.

__________________________________________

“Soo, who talked you into this? Yaebin? She’s been wanting to burn your homeless clothes for ages.”

“Shut up,” Matthew passes you a spoon. “And they aren’t homeless clothes.”

After the foreign student society meeting finished up, you had a sudden craving for patbingsu and like the good friend he is, he offered to split with you. 

“Mhmm, sure whatever helps you sleep at night.” You start digging into the shaved ice. Matthew snatches one of the rice cakes you were eyeing. 

“Bitch, I wanted that.” You give him the most offended expression you can muster. 

“Sucks to be you, I guess.” He still passes you another one. You eat it before he gets any sneaky ideas.

Later, he’s the one who’s looking at you betrayed.

“You went to Japan and you didn’t tell me?? Fake friend, what the fuck.”

“Excuse me, I said my family went to Japan while I was in Australia. I didn’t go with them, thank fuck, I needed some me time.”

“But still,” Great, now he’s pouting. “There’s like a ton of limited edition figures that I would like die to have.”

You swear your eyes are rolling to the back of your head. This absolute dork.

“Then you go to Japan, damn, sue me I guess.”

“Uhuh, with whose money though?”

“I mean now that you’re hot and everything, I heard models get to travel for shoots and stuff.”

“Wah, you think I’m hot?”

Dammit, you’ve been caught. Retreat. Retreat.

“I was joking, forgot that models were supposed to be tall.”

“...shut up.”

“He isn’t going to deny it, I guess.”

“I will eat all of these rice cakes.”

“Bitch, don’t you dare.”

__________________________________________

Once you’ve gotten over yourself and realised that Matthew is the same nerdy, disgustingly nice person that you know and love (and still kinda have a crush on, not like you’re planning to admit that anytime soon), it’s easy to fall back into your usual routines. Unfortunately, the rest of campus has not gotten over themselves like you have. It’s (really) annoying.

“Omo, is that Seok Matthew or did you finally get a hot boyfriend to walk you to class?”

You sigh. Cha Woongki was a delight to sit with most of the time but he can be a shade bit dramatic. He isn’t the only one. You’ve definitely spotted a bunch of the girls (and even a few guys) whispering and throwing glances when Matthew drops you off at your lecture room. It’s one of those little things the two of you do after figuring out which classes you have for the semester.

“It’s just Matthew.”

“Lock him up, omg. You need to stake your claim on those biceps before some other person gets their claws into him.”

“Please, I can't just do that.”

“Like it’s hard? He’s like halfway in love with you, honestly, all you have to do is put a hand on those muscles, bat your pretty little eyes and tell him these babies are yours and he’ll give them to you.”

Maybe you’d take this more seriously if Woongki hadn't just given a live demo of what he wanted you to do on the unfortunate person that decided to sit on his other side. Lee Jeonghyeon eyes you both nervously before shifting so there’s at least three seats between him and Woongki. 

“He’s not in love with me.”

“And I don’t want to kiss Jeonghyeonie, go figure.”

Jeonghyeon stands up and moves to a different row. You sigh again.

When class ends, Matthew’s already waiting for you outside, shifting nervously as a group of girls linger nearby, giggling and glancing over at him

“How was class?”

“Kinda chill, seongsaengnim was more on doing practical work today so I didn’t lose as many brain cells, you?”

“I think my head might explode.”

“Yikes, that bad?”

“Yeah. Oh, by the way, we’re gonna drive out somewhere on the weekend, wanna come?”

“...You can’t drive though.”

“Sorry, I mean Hanbin-hyung is going to drive us, some kind of day trip thing, they’re still figuring out if we can do an overnight, maybe some camping, it’ll be fun.”

“Hmmm”

“You should go.”

“I’ll think about it.”

“Eyyy, go already, come onnn.”

“.....”

“I’ll pay for food?”

“..Okay fine.”

“Nice! It’s going to be fun, I promise.”

Well, if Matthew looks that excited, you’re pretty sure it’s going to be fun. Honestly, you didn’t need that much convincing but you can’t keep caving every time he uses his sunshine smile like that. (you still do, though). 

__________________________________________

Because Matthew agreed to pay for your food, you’re doing groceries together the day before the trip. By together, you mean Matthew pushes the cart and you pick out the goods and very occasionally you argue over the merits of a certain snack or whether you really need to bring that much alcohol for a potentially overnight trip. (you do)

Any good relationship friendship is all about compromise.

“You’re seriously making me broke this early in the sem?” He tells you once you get to check-out.

��You offered, no take backs.”

He pays for it anyway and insists on carrying most of the bags. No, you are not looking at the way his biceps are straining especially when his clumsy ass nearly faceplants as you walk out. 

Of course that’s when it starts raining like hell froze over and decided to come at you. Both of you start laughing and swearing like absolute idiots and you make the cardinal mistake of looking Matthew in the eye.

Apparently getting hot over the summer means that he looks devastatingly Kdrama male lead attractive in the rain. His hair manages to maintain that wet look that happens to be showing forehead. Droplets of water dripping down his face and neck like the rain decided to be a paid actor when it made contact with his body. And his eyes crinkle and he’s smiling and you feel your heart drop into your ass and then levitate out of your body like it sprouted wings. Seriously, how can he look at you like that when you probably look like a drowned rat?

You’re tracking puddles as you reach his dorm room, shoving the wet plastic grocery bags to the side and grabbing towels. 

“We gotta change.” Matthew notes. And with absolutely no warning, he begins to take off his shirt. You’re in hell.

First of all, today, of all days was when Matthew decided to wear a white shirt. Which means you are treated to a nearly transparent and downright illegal view of wet fabric plastered to the ripped muscles of his back, shoulder muscles moving as he tries to peel the shirt off. And you can’t even get started on his arms, they’ve been the bane of your existence for days. And because he’s an idiot, he’s actually struggling to get his shirt off, seconds dragging out your agony. He turns and you catch sight of his bare abs and your brain-to-mouth filter decides to unalive itself.

“Okayy, damn, I didn’t ask for a strip show.”

Matthew looks up and you’re suddenly struck by the horrible feeling that both of you know you’re checking him out. Maybe the rain got into his brain too because he proceeds to walk up to you, open his mouth and say the most unSeok Matthew thing you’ve ever heard in your life.

“You know you like it.”

Dead silence. Maybe you’ve actually died because you can’t believe he just said that. Also you’re so sure you’re blushing because you’re being treated to a front-row view of how his wet shirt plasters against the outline of his abs and pecs. It’s kinda, really fucking unfair. Finally, you look up at him and muster the most unimpressed look you can because that line was so bad and he’s such a fucking dork but also you might as well shoot your shot.

“...Bitch, just kiss me already.”

Matthew kisses you already. It’s great. He somehow manages to be warm against you even though you’re both absolutely soaked. There’s a lot of free real estate to grab onto so you’ve finally got your hands on his biceps, squeezing them as he catches your bottom lip between his. He tastes faintly of mint and also those fruit popsicles you had earlier. His hands slide down to your sides, rolling up your wet shirt a little so he can thumb over your bare skin. Something hot explodes in your stomach as his lips press warm against your neck. 

It’s really fucking hot except you’re both still wet and gross from the rain and Matthew nearly slips and gives both of you concussions. You burst out laughing as he apologises sheepishly.

“For the record,” You tell him later once you’re showered and dry and on his couch wearing his hoodie with your legs on his lap. “I liked you with those nerdy glasses even if you dressed like Seo Taji and Boys decided to make a comeback.”

“Yaebin said the same thing.” He pouted. “But you were all over that acting major last year and I thought he was your type.”

You choke. “Bak Doha? I went on like two dates with him and one of them was because Woongki dared me too. Second one was because he was actually a nice guy and I felt bad so I treated him out for chicken.”

“Eyyy, next time only treat me out for chicken.”

“...be glad I still find you cute.”

#boys planet #boys planet fics #boys planet x reader #boys planet mnet #zb1 #zb1 fics #zb1 x reader #zb1 imagines #seok matthew #seok matthew x reader #boys planet matthew #zb1 matthew #zerobaseone #boys planet 999 #side characters #zhang hao #sung hanbin #jay chang #na kamden #chen kuan jui #cha woonggi #lee jeonghyeon #bak doha #boys planet drabbles #kpop fics #kpop fluff #kpop fanfic #kpop scenarios #gender neutral reader #bp-zb1fics

[iexistinmanyforms-blog]

My Personal Headcanons for the Demon Brothers (Obey Me) :

—although it is mostly unintentional, Levi is actually the brother that causes the most chaos in the house. You can't be the Avatar of Envy, an otaku, and chronically online at the same time without having massive freak-outs over your hyperfixations on/and the internet.

—despite pretending to be cute and innocent most of the time, Belphie has the dirtiest mind of all the brothers. He can get very creative and sneaky with his innuendos to the point where even Asmo needs a minute to properly digest them before realising.

—Beel plays dumb a lot because he finds people's reaction to his "fake" himboness funny. Belphie knows and encourages it, since he also finds it funny. Though, ever since MC shows up and starts simping over him being a himbo, Belphie has mixed feelings about it now; he still thinks it's funny, but he gets kinda jealous.

—Asmo fakes having a high-pitched voice. His reasoning being that other people's reactions to hearing his real voice in bed gives him the best pleasure.

—Luci is a closet dork and has the silliest sense of humor, and if he could he would prank his brothers a lot more than they do to him.

—Levi's offhand and careless reactions to things are unintentionally witty. Think popular internet quotes and interactions and apply that to him.

—Belphie critically injured his left eye in the Celestial War and covers it because of PTSD, insecurity, and magical reasons. His left eye has similar abilities to Asmo's gaze, although he doesn't have proper control over it.

—Mammon handles the House of Lamentation's budget most of the time. He decided to be in charge of it on whim one day, but got so upset over the tax cuts and discounts and whatever Luci was missing out on that he refused to hand the responsibility back to him out of sheer indignation.

—despite what most people believe, Asmo doesn't actually have a thousand skincare products and makeup and usually just sticks to the things that work best for him. What is true, however, is that he buys a shit ton of perfumes and clothes. Because having a variety of them can make a bigger difference than having an overly complex skincare routine.

—despite being quite a while since Devildom's Navy has seen some action, Levi takes his training regime and duties as the Grand Admiral very seriously. Beel and him became each other's gym bros when their schedules match up.

—Levi and Belphie's hair are supposed to be similar to Asmo's in terms of waviness, but both of them decided to distance themselves from the time they were angels because of shame.

—the brothers' hair were a lot longer back when they were still angels.

—Levi is aware of the hentai protagonist haircut and how close he resembles it. So is Belphie, if you get my drift...

—Satan's immense love for cats was actually a process. He didn't start off loving them from the get-go. It was only when he learned about their behaviors and history did he become interested in them, and then after a couple hundred years or so that interest became a genuine fondness.

—Asmo has the most control over his sin, meaning he can control both its positive and negative effects to a scarily good degree. The second would be either Satan or Levi.

—despite Satan being the actual youngest in the family, the rest of the brothers collectively agreed that Beel and Belphie are the babies. Mostly Belphie.

—Belphie's hatred for humans was a... slow process. The love he had for them didn't suddenly switch into hatred at the drop of a hat. Or, well, in this case, at the fall of an angel lol. I like to think that him becoming a demon showed him the worst sides of humanity prior to him being an angel seeing the best sides of them.

—Belphie has a special hatred for sexual violence because of his canon lore. Not his game lore, but his actual biblical lore. He was some sort of seducer himself back in the day, and he turned himself into a woman to have intercourse with men... you can probably guess what happens next there.

—Satan is very aware of his desire to love and be loved in a romantic sense. Asmo does not. When Satan asked him about it (because he can definitely tell), Asmo had laughed and denied that he needed that kind of love since he's the Avatar of Lust. Which was... painful to see, on Satan's part.

—do you guys know Stanzi from Tiktok? The demon brothers are definitely fans of her, especially Belphie. No, I'm not gonna elaborate.

#obey me headcanon #obey me #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan #obey me satan #obey me asmodeus #obey me beelzebub #obey me belphegor #most of these are about levi #im not really surprised