#i think that is a new personal record. was there a meteor shower? surely there was.

[argiopi]

got the cops called on me for the most hilariously sensible reason last night

So i have a new industrial piercing (my first piercing..! i love it •w•), and it got infected because of course it did, it's a cartilage piercing and i live outside. Context i've been living in my car for the past few weeks, which has been pretty good but one of the tradeoffs is i do not have a bathroom. The piercer told me if the piercing got infected I could soak it in saltwater, so i needed a source of 1. salt, 2. water that is warm or at least not the below-freezing ambient temperature i currently exist in.

Gas stations have both these things. (I have yet to purchase salt for my occasional propane stove cooking). Only problem is it was past midnight in a rural area, so I didn't find a 24 hour convenience store until around 100 miles into my route for the evening.

At 3 AM local time the store was inhabited by just One stern-looking employee who was mopping the floor. My grungy ass walks in carrying a small collapsible bowl and immediately begins casing the place like the world's shittiest thief, looking for those little free salt packets. I looked around the (empty, no hot food at 3 AM) hot dog stand and saw only wet condiments so i circled back around to the grocery section in case they were selling salt shakers I could buy. No luck so i desperately returned to the hot dog counter in case I missed the salt, and noticed a cabinet labeled CONDIMENTS below the dog cooker, which did conceal salt packets. I stuffed a handful of them in my pocket and hoped the mopping woman wouldn't ask, then pivoted to the bathroom where I locked myself for the next fifteen minutes.

I filled my bowl with hot water which was actually cool water but at least it wasn't frigid, and mixed salt into it and held it to my ear. After a few minutes the staff, who had been understandably watching me from around corners the entire time I was searching for salt, knocked on the door. I replied "hello?" and she didn't respond, so I assumed she was just checking if anyone was in there before she tried entering to continue mopping. I finished cleaning my sad little ear and bought a bag of yogurt pretzels as a gesture of good will because I felt bad for taking her salt and taking too much time in the bathroom when she needed to clean.

Enter The Pig. I had returned to my car and grabbed my first aid kit to apply antiobiotic ointment, when an officer entered the store. Trepidation when he arrived since I knew I was being a freak, but then i thought he was just doing his own shopping, then he came back out and approached my vehicle.

Rolled down my window and he asks what was going on in the bathroom. (What if i had been just taking a long shit??). So I showed him my ear and my bowl and explained, as Alertly, Calmly, and Soberly as i could after driving for multiple hours after midnight, to the face of someone who can ruin my life with a penstroke, that I was on the road and had to soak this infected piercing. Luckily it was a confused young cop who was too bewildered to inquire much further, not an old hardass who might start asking more challenging questions such as "where are you going" or "where are you staying tonight and why are you washing your ear at the gas station and not there." He clearly barely even looked at my car - asked if i was a local when my license plate is from two timezones away - and let me go without even collecting my information.

That was the sixth time that police have confronted me for acting outside social norms. The first time was because I was plucking an invasive plant species from the side of the road and he thought I was falling when I walked up & down the slope. The second time I was walking home alone at night, and maybe someone called because I had a backpack on and they thought I was trying to rob a house. I was just walking home from the train. The third time I had been biking home in the dark without a headlight, and i fell on my face and didn't know I was bleeding until a bastard pulled up and told me someone called because they thought I got hit by a car. The fourth time was when I fell in the river last winter and i was knocking on random doors asking for directions home to minimize my risk of hypothermia, and I suppose the woman who drove me home called to send someone to make sure i was okay? The fifth time was the first time I slept in my car, which ironically was before I started serially sleeping in my car. I was falling asleep on the highway after an all-nighter so I took the next exit and took a nap in my driver's seat at the end of a random residential street before I ended up on the news, and that's how I learned suburbanites are paranoid as all hell about anything out of the ordinary because a cop knocked on my window and asked me if I was drunk (who would say yes to that question?). Now I select my sleeping sites very carefully, which is probably the most annoying thing about hashtag vanlife, but I haven't gotten The Knock again yet and sometimes when I pull into random public lands after dark I wake up to mountains I've never seen before and that fuels my soul.

Lesson learned is that if you need to snort sodium chloride in a gas station bathroom at 3 AM, just have an ear piercing and dampen the hair around it and carry a bowl around, and you've got a story that's Too Weird To Be Making Shit Up.

#seriously how do y'all stay out of trouble #I Am Just Living My Life why does that incite so much suspicion. #this time was fair though i 1000% looked like a criminal who was about to drive home under an influence #blogging #FOLKS WHO FOLLOWED FOR ART I HOPE YOU ENJOY STORYTIME TOO LOL. #I saw THIRTEEN!!!! shooting stars while driving last night #i think that is a new personal record. was there a meteor shower? surely there was. #Two of them were bright enough to leave a dust trail.. ⭐︎つ⭐︎ #mountain roads are so scary lol what do you Mean there is no guard rail on this narrow winding road that drops off into Death Zone #not to mention when there is snow on the road..? #my tires spun out the other night because i was clinging too close to the uphill side of the mountain and went off the road #in my defense i could not see the lines on the road on account of they were covered by snow #anyway i sunk deep but luckily i have 4WD so i could wiggle out without help #but the snow gripped my tires and pulled them in the opposite direction i was trying to go.. #what if i was driving on the side facing downhill and slipped off the road and the snow gripped me. #best case scenario: car is Funked. worst case scenario Death #anyway i think my ear is slightly less painful & inflamed this morning..? i am going to go wash it at a much less sussy hour #the sky is so clear and bright here... #madly in love with the milky way. #i wonder how often ppl assume ppl are sneaking hard drugs when they actually have a completely legal reason to be acting strange. #not that i'm not living on the fringes of the law rn with the whole car thing and that's the only reason i had to be weird at a gas station #but like... lives be strange and complex and human behavior is rarely as simple as it seems there is always a story!

[kithtaehyung]

i think your specialty lies in the details. there’s so many details that you include in every piece that is so crucial to the story and really adds so much depth to the characters and their relationship with each other. i always feel so much appreciation for every single thing that I have read of yours and even more when i go back to read and catch more details that i didn’t before. the best way that i can describe this is like a painting; far away, you have a beautiful masterpiece, and up-close, you can see the colors used and how well they blend together and complement each other, each stroke, and little details that you can’t quite see from far away but they’re just as appreciated, if not, more. then when you take a step back, you end up having even more appreciation and awe for the painting bc you can see even more details in the whole picture and see how everything joined together to create a beautiful masterpiece.

i’ve felt this way many many times while reading your work and it’s just absolutely magnificent. 3tan has soooo many details that i love so much and always love going back to read, hit;record also had alot but one that stuck with me was yoongi checking in on oc and brushing his thumb over her cheek 🥺, ugh f*ck and the way you described how oc felt with jin watching her with yoongi (HOT HOT HOT), and the meteor shower in starry night?? i felt like i was watching jungkook’s reaction to it myself (fun fact: this was actually one of the first fics i read when i first started reading bts fanfics and i love it so much. i fell in love immediately and reread it so many times bc of how it made me feel)🥺 THERES LITERALLY SO MUCH MORE AND I COULD GO ON AND ON FOREVER ABOUT THESE DETAILS!! the details literally play so much into the whole story and they always make me feel so much more engulfed and absorbed in the story. it’s like i’m literally there experiencing their emotions, feeling the weather, currently in a new season, awakening a new kink, being personally comforted by the characters, and SOOOOOO MUCH MORE. you’re seriously one of my favorite writers ever. thank you for sharing your work with us🫶🏼

-🥮

MOONCAKE SDKFSDFJDFK holy shit!! you are.. the nicest to me i can't even keep my shit together reading this? :')))

first of all, i'm appreciate how you pointed out the details. i love inserting little tidbits and morsels here and there bc it's fun for me as well as getting to see everyone's a-ha moments! but also, i wanna make sure everything has depth, because it's more fulfilling to me personally.

the best way that i can describe this is like a painting; far away, you have a beautiful masterpiece, and up-close, you can see the colors used and how well they blend together and complement each other, each stroke, and little details that you can’t quite see from far away but they’re just as appreciated, if not, more. then when you take a step back, you end up having even more appreciation and awe for the painting bc you can see even more details in the whole picture and see how everything joined together to create a beautiful masterpiece.

i literally just stared at my screen unblinking when i read this sdlfjdlsk thank you?? that's brilliant and well said and just. wow. you really left me speechless with this and now i'm gonna go take a long walk and cry lol

SDJFSDH you even mentioned hit;record and ugh f*ck?! starry night was one of your first? damn, that one was so long ago and i've grown immensely since then.. it's surreal knowing that's one of your first ones to read from me but you still enjoyed it. and the meteor shower part oh goddd T^T i remember writing that bc i associate jungkook with the night sky very, very often.

gosh, i can't even.. thank you. i have nothing else to really say other than gratitude bc this was beautiful to read. seriously, you made my day with this! thank you, love, and i hope you're having a wonderful start to the week bc you wholeheartedly deserve it.

#what's my specialty as a fanfic writer? #damn... thank you mooncake #🥮 anon #writer asks #ask games #*ryenfictalk #long post #mailbox💌 #asks:3tan #asks:hitrecord #asks:ughfck #asks:starrynight

[closetgong5]

MMO Burnout: Engineers In Spaaace

I missed the whole Minecraft craze. I was stupidly grinding my digital life away in varied MMORPGs, plus I could not get previous Minecraft's so-fugly-it's-hip aesthetic. Irrespective of, although, as a result of Area Engineers takes Minecraft's core ideas and dolls them up with pleasing visuals, a nifty near future sci-fi setting, and addictive gameplay that is a lot greater than the sum of its elements.

"Simplicity is the final word sophistication," says Leonardo DaVinci by means of a space Engineers loading display. The quote is a fantastic jumping off level for discussing this sci-fi sandbox from Prague-primarily based indie Eager Software House because you can basically boil down all of your gameplay to harvesting, building, and in the event you play on sure servers, preventing. My version of Area Engineers entails mining asteroids for the sources to make all the things from power drills to solar panels to nuclear reactors to big hulking dreadnaught spaceships.

These resources are transformed to blocks via refinery and assembler items, and the blocks are then able to be positioned throughout the sport world to make, well, just about anything you may think about. Some blocks function constructed-in functionality (doors, terminals, cockpits, and many others.), and all of them are each destructible and repairable.

For those who simply wish to load into House Engineers and look round, selecting New World adopted by Fast Begin from the principle menu is the option to go. This may toss you into a pre-made solo state of affairs that is more than sufficient for learning the controls, which is able to seem to acquainted to anyone raised on WASD gaming.

One thing to notice is that switching between first- and third-person is accomplished by pressing V, whereas swinging the digital camera around your third-particular person spaceman requires the left Alt key as well as mouse movement. It took me a while to determine that one out, which just goes to indicate that reading the manual (or no less than, watching the tutorial vid) continues to be worthwhile.

Whenever you get the hang of jetpack motion and the interface, you may probably wish to either start a brand new private server or be a part of a neighborhood server. As an alternative of deciding on Fast Begin from the brand new World menu, choose Custom and decide one of the pre-set choices on the left-hand menu. Pay attention to the choices on the right, notably inventive recreation mode or survival recreation mode. The former is finest if you want to experiment with House Engineers' unimaginable building tools, while the latter adds real looking inventory capacity, useful resource administration, and loss of life into the combo.

Also observe that right here is where you may determine to either leave your world as a single-participant affair or open it as much as your Steam buddies record (or to anybody who happens by). There are plenty of different choices here too together with the frequency of meteor showers, the number of asteroids, and so forth. I encourage you to totally discover Area Engineers' menus as a result of there are a staggering quantity of the way to customise your private gameplay and build a singular multiplayer environment with the potential to cater to nearly anyone.

Need to get some roleplay mates together and see what kind of marooned-in-space survival tales you may tell? You possibly can with just a few clicks. Are you extra of a PvPer? Build your self some guns and ammo and go to it! Or be part of one of many dozens of ready-made gank servers viewable via Join World from the main menu.

After you get your toes wet in artistic mode, I recommend switching to survival mode because it adds some semblance of a gameplay goal (don't run out of power!). Oh, and you can even swap your initial world between artistic and survival modes whenever you would like through the choices menu, so do not fret about losing your nifty creations when you need to vary up your gameplay in the future.

At this point, the galaxy is your oyster. I are likely to keep on with my mates-solely server and give attention to constructing, but you can too PvP or even mine if that is your thing.

There's one thing bizarrely relaxing about mining in House Engineers. It isn't quiet, because the drill makes a godawful racket despite the fact that you're in outer house. And it's not facerollable, as you've got to consistently reorient yourself while drilling via big swaths of asteroid and occasionally you'll lose sight of your entry gap in addition to which approach is "up."

The game's physics engine features Newton's third regulation, which means that you're going to often should chase down hunks of rock and corral them before they go spinning off into the void, assuming they're the chunks of rock (or mineral) that you wished. Toying around with the jetpack and the limits of SE's gravity properly generator blocks is at all times enjoyable, too.

There is a vastness to Area Engineers that by no means gets old. Each time I'm reaching for an errant rock I'm reminded of that scene in Firefly where Simon and River are hiding from the Alliance by EVAing outside of Serenity's airlock. The bad guys are searching the ship for them, and people clever screenwriters hit upon having the brother and sister fugitives don space fits and attach themselves to the surface of the ship's hull till the danger handed.

Some of the memorable photographs in your complete collection happens when Simon slowly turns from his handhold on Serenity's hull and appears behind him, staring right into the face of incomprehensible dimension and distance. That is occasionally how I really feel when floating to and fro in Area Engineers, which is sort of a feat for a smallish indie title to manage.

Another constructive that bears mentioning is the House Engineers neighborhood. This past October, Keen introduced that it had offered over 1 million copies of the game, and this is clear within the variety of multiplayer worlds obtainable via the Steam client as well as the massive serving to of tutorial videos on YouTube. Whether you want some tips on cinematography, building the Enterprise, or greatest practices for surviving on a survival server, House Engineers has a sizable and educated following that is all too keen to show you the ropes.

House Engineers, as its title implies, is generally about engineering. Do not let the title fool you, though, as this indie sandbox is kind of accessible to each engineers and non-engineers alike, even supposing it's robust enough to feature real physics and actual in-recreation programming. And hey, if area isn't your thing, Eager announced its followup title Medieval Engineers earlier this month!

Burned out on MMOs? That's Okay; there are tons of other titles on the market that includes MMOish open worlds, development, RPG mechanics, or a mix of all three. Massively' offtopic hut turns a essential eye toward every thing from AAA blockbusters to obscure indie gems, not to say a wholesome dose of the perfect mods.

All products really useful by Engadget are chosen by our editorial workforce, independent of our mum or dad firm. A few of our tales include affiliate hyperlinks. If you purchase one thing via one of these hyperlinks, we may earn an affiliate fee.

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#Offtopic Hut #Welcome to my hut

[tranzfalgar]

okay it’s time for some stardew valley headcanons for the bachelor/ette(s) so let’s GOOOO

Alex:

- he always awakes before his grandparents, and on warmer days he’ll go down to the beach to watch the sunrise.

- friends with elliot! the two of them sit on the side of the dock sometimes and just chat about life.

- knows how to make cookies, as evelyn taught him when he was a bit younger

- wary of the saloon, as he doesn’t really like the smell of alcohol and only goes into it if he’s forced to!

- if you marry him, he can and will pick you up randomly to surprise you while you’re working!

- if married, he will “bench press” your kids once they become toddlers, and it always makes them giggle

- hates the winter and gets cold really easily. on the first day of fall he’s already bundled up wanting it to be summer again.

Elliot:

- willy is like a father to him. the two of them sit on the docks and watch the fish swim by together

- sometimes he’ll braid his hair, and leah will bring flowers from the forest and weave them into his hair.

- has a rlly pretty singing voice, and likes to record piano covers in his spare time

- if you marry him and the two of u have kids, he’ll always braid their hair in the morning and tuck flowers behind their ears.

- he brings home fresh fish he caught and makes himself dinner every night. that’s why he’s an excellent cook.

- has actually caught a legendary fish before!

- his eyes change color, they can go from blue to green to brown in the same day. people call them the “prismatic shard of eyes”

Harvey:

- he’s so clumsy that sometimes he’ll even trip over air. due to this, he has little bruises all over his knees and elbows.

- his favorite animals are birds. sometimes he’ll go outside and just give them some bird seed. he loves watching them fly around.

- not only is he fascinated with planes, but he’s also fascinated with the weather. as a kid he used to watch the weather channel, and he dreamed of becoming a weatherman.

- when he needs to focus really hard, he’ll pull his hair back with a headband

- him and his mother were and still are very close, and he writes letters to her at least once a week

- he cannot cook to save his life, but he’s an incredible baker! will make you little treats if you’re friends or married

- he always wears a wristwatch, but the time is always 6 minutes behind. he likes it because it has a plane engraved into the side against his wrist.

Sam:

- he had adhd, and his stims include flapping his hands, tapping his foot and strumming his guitar

- he has a beautiful singing voice, think like wilbur soot but a bit more high pitched?

- the reason he likes cactus fruit so much is because he just plants them and lets them grow. he loves succulents because they don’t give him an allergic reaction!

- cannot play video games for shit. sebastian and abigail have banned him from multi-player games because he just sucks so bad.

- love language is acts of service, simply because he likes singing for people he cares about and doing little things for them!

- if you marry him, he will bring his guitar into the coop and/or barn and sing to the animals. they have learned to run over a greet him, since they love his singing.

- his hair is actually curly, but you’re unable to tell due to how much he gels and straightens his hair.

- has mastered the art of the puppy dog eyes

Sebastian:

- loves the hell out of halloween, but is scared of literally everything. he nearly cried watching a horror movie with sam and abigail.

- really good with a slingshot! so if he were to go into the mines, he would wreck some monsters shit with his slingshot skills

- he had glow in the dark stars on his ceiling, but removed them. he used to love the stars and space, but came to resent them because it was his sisters thing.

- he like…irl blushes. like an anime character. when he’s embarrassed, upset, flustered, his face will go all pink. everyone picks on him for it.

- has/had a crush on most of the towns singles. he is a bisexual disaster and secretly a romantic so….take from that what you will.

- a natural born ginger, but dyes his hair. he also has freckles on his nose! and he has an eyebrow slit because of a scar!!

- for some stupid reason, he takes really good care of his hands? like he always makes sure they don’t get calloused, and his nails are always painted black, despite using his hands all the time for work.

Shane:

- he cannot cook. he burned pasta noodles because he didn’t know you had to put water in the pan.

- he still has a chicken plushie from when he was a baby, and it still sits on his bed. and if he cuddles with it at night? no one needs to know.

- has a huge birthmark on his side shaped like a heart

- really good at mixology, so i think that when joja gets shut down, shane works at the saloon and makes the drinks while gus cooks. he adds a whole new section on the menu!

- friends with sebastian. they paint each other’s nails from time to time, or sit in the rain together and just talk.

- kinda strong as hell? he lifts boxes in joja for work, as well as carrying around jas, so i’m assuming he could just….pick the farmer and his friends up?

- he has the most contagious laugh, it used to be a rare sound, but now that it’s a pretty common occurrence, shane makes people laugh all the time with his own laugh.

Abigail:

- buff. she is buff as hell. her and alex work out together sometimes, since she expressed a desire for adventure. she has picked up sam and sebastian with no warning and thrown them into the ocean

- can talk to animals due to her being the daughter of the wizard! so sometimes she’ll go to marnies farm and just chat with the cows or something

- if she sees a tree, she WILL climb it. she loves it so much, it’s just so adrenaline inducing for her.

- her and sebastian tried to go into the mines before but sam stopped them because it wouldn’t have been very safe. they were all 14.

- trying to learn to play the ukulele with a little help from sam. it’s frustrating, but she really likes the sound of it, and she’s determined as hell.

- absolutely cracked at any and all video games he plays. mario kart? she will kick your ass. animal crossing? her island has 5 stars. pokémon? she always wins. you can’t stop her, she’s too powerful.

- she has glasses, but prefers contacts, since glasses would get in the way of her adventuring.

Emily:

- not only can she sew, but she also makes her own soaps and candles! any form of creation she adores.

- loves flowers, and has a lot of little potted ones in her room. she raises them, gives them little names and personalities, and then brings them to sandy and tells her all about each flower

- she can roller skate, and it’s her preferred method of transportation. she can do a bunch of fun tricks as well!

- has an eyebrow slit

- making cute little baskets of homemade gifts is her favorite thing to do for her friends. sometimes she’ll just leave them on their doorsteps for no reason other than she wants to!

- can SPRINT in heels. like even 6 inch heels she can just RUN and it scares everyone who sees it.

- she loves the sounds of birds chirping in the morning, and she’s able to identify the name of the bird by its chirping and calls

Haley:

- is able to perfectly crack and drink from coconuts. that’s why she loves them so much.

- has the worst sense of direction. she’s lucky she lives in a small town, or she’d get lost all the time

- the spring is her favorite time of year, simply because she loves to capture life coming back in those spring months. baby animals, blooming flowers, her friends on the beach or just chilling in the sun, all of it

- her most prized possession is the very first picture her and emily took as kids on their parents polaroid. it’s taped to her mirror

- has a little beauty mark under her lip, but it normally isn’t visible due to being covered with makeup!

- she’s able to do her own nails! this is because she is ambidextrous, yet she doesn’t know, because it’s never been brought up

- she fucking LOVES learning about and identifying plants, trees and flowers. she knows so many it’s crazy. she has a great memory.

Leah:

- resident true crime enthusiast and ghost hunter. she drags elliot with her around town to go hunting for ghosts. they also watch documentaries together!

- has a bunch of little scars on her hands from her artwork

- to get inspiration for works, she’ll go on walks at different times of the day, different seasons, different routes, and she’ll turn each walk into a work of art. depending on all the environment and those who she runs into, each piece is vastly different.

- animals love her, and will sometimes just follow her around for no reason. she doesn’t mind at all, she kinda loves it.

- friends with emily. they are currently teaching each other their own forms of art, since they love learning from each other!

- really good at dancing, she’ll dance while she’s working on projects and she’ll hum a song to herself

- her favorite statue was created after she went on a walk, ran into abigail, and the two of them went swimming in the ocean and stayed there as the sun set and the stars came out. she has a little crush on abigail.

Maru:

- her hair is ALWAYS tied up, it’s impossible for her to work if her hair is in her eyes

- when she was a kid she wanted to be an astronaut, because she loves the stars, but she found she prefers the science and math behind it all

- she pierced her own ears, she has little star earrings!

- watches cartoons and geeks out about them with penny when they meet up in town!

- for some odd reason, she is terrified of butterflies. no one who knows her, or even maru herself have ANY idea why, but she will run away if she sees one.

- her favorite memory was the one night her and sebastian stayed up really late as kids and snuck outside to look at the stars (back when sebastian still loved them) and they ended up seeing a meteor shower

- she presses flowers as a hobby, and just keeps them in a little notebook alongside her ideas for projects and gadgets.

Penny:

- while she’s cleaning her and pam’s home, she finds herself singing to herself. she has yet to be caught by anyone

- each day, her hair is done ever-so-slightly different. each morning, she likes to change it up, and sometimes jas or vincent will give her something to put in her hair

- also interested in ghosts, will occasionally join elliot and leah on their adventures

- she is naturally really warm, so she doesn’t have to bundle up as much during the winter. the kids cling to her because she’s like a human space heater

- has a bit of a geeky side, and she loves to watch cartoons a lot. when she can find the time, she always watches them. they being her lots of comfort.

- has a small scar on her side from when she tripped over as a child onto something sharp. she likes it because with two freckles, it makes a little smiley face

- loves the water and the feeling of sea wind in her hair. she secretly wants to learn to drive a boat, so she can feel that wind in her hair whenever she wants.

#stardew #stardew valley #sdv alex #sdv elliott #sdv harvey #sdv sam #sdv sebastian #sdv shane #sdv abigail #sdv emily #sdv haley #sdv leah #sdv maru #sdv penny #stardew valley headcanons

[the-modernmary]

when you gonna take me out? || derek morgan x GN!reader

Summary: You and Derek have been flirting pretty heavily for the past few weeks. So when his first time asking you out doesn't go as well as planned, he's determined to get you to say yes.

Warnings: mentions of getting shot, allusions to smut

A/N: Chapter title taken from Aly & AJ's "Take Me Out". This was inspired by a scene from the show community, and also because derek morgan deserves more love

~~~~~~~

“No, no, you see, asking somebody out is an art,” Derek explained to a very frustrated Spencer Reid. “And I think with a little practice, pretty boy, you could become a bit of a player.”

Prentiss, who had been listening to Derek trying to convince Spencer to let him be his wingman for the better part of an hour, scoffed from her desk. “Using a cheesy pickup line is an art now?”

“There is nothing wrong with a line!” Derek argued, leaning back in his desk chair. “It’s a knock at the door. And once they let you in, that’s when you strike.”

Spencer scrunched up his nose at Derek’s phrasing. “I think I’m going to leave the whole player thing to you.”

“Come on, Reid, it’s easy.”

“If it’s so easy, then why don’t you show us?” Prentiss shot.

Right at that moment, Garcia and JJ walked back into the bullpen, coffees in hand. “Show us what?” JJ questioned.

“Derek is trying to teach Reid how to flirt,” Prentiss explained. “But I think he’s just all talk. Come to think of it, I don’t think I’ve ever seen Morgan with a significant other.”

Derek rolled his eyes. “Hey, I don’t pry into your personal life?”

Garcia put a comforting hand on Derek’s shoulder. “Nobody can resist my chocolate thunder. I mean, look at him. He literally looks like he was sculpted by Michaelangelo.”

“I’m with Emily,” JJ chimed in. “I kind of want to see the Derek Morgan in action.”

Derek’s eyes scanned the bullpen until he landed on you, standing in the kitchen area and making yourself a cup of coffee. You were also a profiler, just on a different team that primarily focused on cold cases. It was no secret that you and Derek Morgan had been flirting pretty heavily the past few weeks — longing glances, pet names, and kisses on cheeks were just the start — and you both had a sneaking suspicion that there was an office pool betting on whether or not the two of you had already hooked up.

“Fine,” Derek said, standing up. “Watch and learn, Pretty Ricky.”

Derek sauntered over to the kitchen and leaned against the counter while reaching for a wooden stirrer. “Let me help you with that,” he offered.

You turned to look at him, a smile on your face. “Wow, what a gentleman,” you teased, but you handed your cup of coffee to him anyways. “I didn’t realize you knew how I take my coffee?”

“You learn a lot about somebody when you can’t take your eyes off them,” he pointed out. “Especially with the way you look right now. I mean, wow. Got a hot date tonight? Because he is one very lucky man.”

You arched an eyebrow in his direction. “Nope, no date.”

“Well, you do now, baby,” Derek grinned. “I’ll pick you up at 8:30.”

You stared at Derek, part amused and part incredulous. “Did you really think that would work?” you asked through a breathy chuckle.

Derek’s confident grin fell slightly as his eyes narrowed in confusion. “Wait, what?” he asked, unable to form any other words.

“Derek Morgan, I expected so much more from you,” you mused, snatching your coffee cup from his hand. “I know you can sweet talk better than that.”

It was Derek’s turn to raise his eyebrows, and he tried his best to ignore the barely-suppressed giggles from his teammates. “So is that a no?” he clarified, not used to the feeling of rejection. Although, it didn’t feel quite like a rejection, especially when you were smiling at him with just a hint of your tongue peaking out from between your teeth.

“It’s a… ‘better luck next time’,” you explained, taking a sip of your coffee.

Derek’s normal, confident grin returned to his face. “You’re saying I can ask you out again?” he clarified, because he did not want to be the guy who didn’t know how to take no for an answer.

You walked backwards to your desk, never taking your eyes off Derek. “Sure. It could be fun. But you’ll have to bring your A-game if you want me to say yes,” you told him, and oh, Derek Morgan loved a good challenge.

Derek walked back to his desk, feeling the stares of his teammates the whole way back.

“Like a knock on the door...” Prentiss quoted back to Derek. “So did you just get the door slammed in your face, or was nobody home?”

Derek scoffed and sat down in his chair, already coming up with all the new ways he could ask you out. He had been wanting to for a while, but the timing was always off. But now…

“Oh no, I’m in,” Derek promised, and his eyes were immediately drawn to you. He hadn’t been lying when he said that he couldn’t keep his eyes off of you. “But I’m playing the long game.”

~~~~~~~

Derek and the rest of his team got pulled into a case shortly after, so you didn’t hear from him for about a week except for the occasional “how is it going?” text. They got back to the BAU in the middle of the day, but instead of heading straight home like the rest of his team, Derek made a beeline to your desk.

“Good morning, gorgeous,” he greeted, dropping a quick kiss to your temple. “Hope you didn’t miss me too much.”

A soft blush rose to your cheeks as you shut the file you were looking at, spinning your chair so that you could face him. “I missed you tons, as always. But you knew that.”

Derek’s eyes trailed up and down your body, and there was a softness to his gaze that you rarely ever saw from him. “Aren’t you a sight for sore eyes?”

“Sore eyes?” you questioned. “I don’t know about that. Wasn’t there a meteor shower where you guys were at?”

“Yeah, but no meteor shower can compare to how beautifully your eyes sparkle.”

You tried really, really hard to hold in your laughter. You pressed your lips into a thin line and you bit the insides of your cheeks, but you were only so strong, and even Derek looked like he realized how cheesy and awful that line was.

You broke down into a fit of laughter. “I’m sorry,” you giggled, covering your mouth as you did. “I just — Did you google a top ten best pickup lines list on the plane ride back?”

Derek winced, but nodded in agreement. “That’s fair. Not my best work.”

“No, it was not, Romeo,” you said, patting his cheek. “But we’ll chalk it up to post-case sleep deprivation.”

“Don’t worry, sweetheart,” Derek grinned. “When the time comes, you won’t be able to say no.”

You laughed, throwing your head back as you did. “And I am eagerly awaiting that day.”

~~~~~~~

Two days later, Derek all but ambushed you at the elevator. As soon as you stepped out onto the 6th floor, Derek slung his arm around your shoulders, and used his free hand to carry your bag for you.

“Oh, this is exciting,” you mused. You reached your hand up to interlace your fingers with the hand that was draped over your shoulder. “What do you have for me today, baby?”

“I’ve been thinking,” Derek explained. “And you’re a modern, progressive, independent person. I think I’ve been going about this all wrong.”

You nodded in encouragement. He was so close, you just knew it. All he had to do was ask you.

“You don’t want to be dragged down by a bunch of strings. So how about you come over tonight, I’ll put on some mood music, light some candles, and you and I can have one perfect night of pure bliss.”

Or maybe he wasn’t as close as you thought.

“Nope,” you said, moving his arm off of your shoulders. You liked Derek Morgan, but you were not going to be another one of his one night stands. “Not gonna happen.”

“Better or worse than before?” Derek asked, already knowing the answer, and he handed your bag back to you.

“Worse. Much worse.” You paused and turned so that you were facing him. “But I like how forward you were. Keep that up.”

Derek smirked and leaned against the wall, his hands in his pockets. “Yeah? So should I keep those candles just in case?”

You pretended to think about it for a few seconds. “With your current track record, baby boy, the only place you’ll be using those candles is in your dreams.”

“You’re already in my dreams, hot stuff,” he promised you. “Every. Single. Night.”

Oh god, that was a very welcome image you would think about forever. You knew that Derek liked you, and you had had your fair share of fantasies involving him in some pretty explicit situations, but him fantasizing about you? It was almost enough to convince you to drag him into the nearest empty room.

Almost. Because if he wanted a chance with you, he was going to have to actually ask you on a date.

Instead, you blew him a kiss and left him with: “And I bet I’m even better than you can imagine.”

Needless to say, the both of you spent the rest of the day incredibly distracted.

~~~~~~~

By that point, pretty everybody on the 6th floor knew what was going on, and they were all invested. More betting pools sprouted up, and even some of the more reserved agents were putting in their two cents, albeit under the guise of disapproval.

That’s why, when a bouquet of flowers appeared on your desk one morning, it was all anybody could talk about as they waited for you to get to work. Even Rossi and Hotch had found an excuse to get themselves out of their offices and into the main part of the bullpen.

“They’re going to say yes today,” Penelope guessed. “They have to. Everybody likes flowers, and this shows the sweet side of my chocolate thunder.”

Prentiss scoffed. “I hope they don’t. I have twenty bucks on at least two more rejections.”

Rossi, who was sitting on the edge of a desk, shook his head. “These are your friends. Don’t you guys feel bad about betting on their love lives?”

“Says the guy who has fifty dollars on ‘they get drunk and leave the bar together’,” Hotch said, not even looking up at the file he was skimming through. Hotch was one of the only ones who hadn’t put money into this whole thing, but he was still very well informed. “You all should really hide the whiteboard the bets are on a little bit better.”

Rossi was about to defend himself when you walked through the glass doors of the BAU. A hush fell over the room and they watched as your smile melted into realization and then nervousness.

You walked over to the bouquet and gingerly took the card, but you didn’t even get to read it when the first sneeze came. Then the next and the next, and pretty soon your eyes were watery, your nose running, and your throat was so scratchy that you sounded like you smoked four packs a day.

You tried to focus on your work, but the constant sneezing and needing to get up to blow your nose was seriously disrupting your productivity. You could barely focus because it felt like a head cold that just wouldn’t go away. Your pollen allergy was something you’d had your whole life, and when they hit, they hit bad.

The flowers were gorgeous and such a sweet gesture, but you didn’t even have the chance to really appreciate them while you could barely breathe through your nose. You were sure you were just a distraction

A hand on your shoulder made you jump, and you whipped around to see Hotch looking down at you with concern. You sighed. “I’m sorry, Agent Hotchner,” you said, your voice nasally. “I usually keep allergy meds in my bag, but it’s not pollen season and I—”

“Go home, agent,” Hotch interrupted you gently. “Get some rest. You can come back tomorrow when you feel better.”

“No, m’fine I just need to—” You cut yourself off this time with another sneeze, and then all you could do was agree with Hotch. “Yeah, I’m gonna go home. Thank you.”

You took the bouquet and walked over to Penelope, handing the glass vase over to her. “Will you please tell Derek that these are beautiful and that I’m so sorry—” You sneezed three times in a row, and by then you were too exhausted to even try talking anymore, so you just groaned and waved goodbye to the rest of Derek’s friends before dragging yourself out of the bullpen.

The next thirty minutes went on as usual, until Derek walked into the bullpen. He had been gone all morning doing a profiling seminar for academy recruits, so he had missed your quick descent into your allergic reaction.

His face fell slightly when he saw your empty desk, and it fell even more when he saw the flowers he had bought sitting on the corner of Prentiss’s desk and his entire team talking amongst themselves.

Derek walked up to them, a frown etched on his face. “Did they not show up for work today?” he asked.

“I sent them home,” Hotch explained, and if Derek didn’t know any better, he could have sworn that he saw the hint of a smirk on the corner of Hotch’s mouth.

Spencer’s smirk, on the other hand, was not even close to being hidden. “Hey Morgan, did you know that pollen allergies affect up to 20 million adults? And sunflowers and flowers in the aster family are considered some of the worst flowers for people who suffer with pollen allergies, since the pollen is so easily dispersed by the wind.”

Realization set in Derek and he cursed under his breath. You had mentioned once in passing that you liked the look of sunflowers, so he had assumed that those were the best flowers to get you. Clearly, he was wrong.

Noticing his dejected look, Garcia quickly interjected. “But they said that they’re beautiful and they looked like they really loved them,” she comforted. “And they wanted me to tell you that they’re sorry.”

Derek shook his head. How did he not know that you were allergic? That seemed like a pretty big thing. “No, they have nothing to be sorry for. I’m going to go wipe down their desk, make sure that it’s clean for them tomorrow.”

The team watched as Derek went over to your desk, taking his time to make sure that there was no flower residue left. They all quickly went back to discussing the bet, changing up their predictions now that they had more evidence to go off of.

Surprisingly, instead of going back to his office, Hotch spoke up. “Morgan isn’t used to being told no. He’s going to break down and beg.”

The team looked at Hotch incredulously. “I’ve never seen Morgan beg for anything,” JJ pointed out, and Hotch just shrugged.

“Well, are you willing to put your money where your mouth is?” Prentiss pressed.

Hotch sighed and shut the file he was holding. “I try not to make a habit out of betting on my subordinates' love lives.”

Rossi rolled his eyes. “He knows he’s wrong, he just wants to be a contrarian,” he told the team, baiting Hotch.

Hotch narrowed his eyes slightly. If anybody else had said that, he would have been able to walk away, but this was Rossi. So Hotch reached into his pocket and pulled out a twenty from his wallet.

“None of this goes on any sort of record.”

~~~~~~~

“Derek Morgan, you got shot?”

You stood up from your desk as soon as you saw Derek and his team walk through the glass doors. It was way after hours, but the news of a shoot out at their last crime scene got back to you, and there was no way you were going to be able to go home knowing that Derek got hurt.

The rest of the team all shared a glance and quickly dispersed, giving you and Derek as much privacy as possible.

Derek made his way over to you, trying to look like he was in less pain than he actually was. “Don’t worry, hot stuff,” he told you, slumping down into his seat. “It just hit my vest.”

You stormed over to where he was sitting, worry evident on your face. “Yeah, I’ve been shot in the vest before!” you reminded him. “It still hurts like hell! What were you thinking?”

Derek forced a smile and held your hand in one of his own. “Baby, I’m okay. Really. I could even show you, if you wanted proof. Then you can stare at my abs without feeling guilty.” He took his free hand and started to lift up his shirt, and you quickly yanked your hand away from his.

“Oh my god,” you groaned, already in the process of storming away from him. “I cannot believe that you are seriously hitting on my right now. You just got shot and you’re asking me out? Agh!”

You started to walk away but Derek caught your hand just in time, laughing as he did. “Okay, don’t go, I’m sorry. I just…” he trailed off, suddenly getting serious. “I just really needed to see your smile.”

You mustered up the best smile you could. “I’m so glad you’re okay.”

Derek let out a long, audible exhale. “So am I,” he admitted. “I’ve never been more glad to be here doing paperwork.”

You rubbed your hands on the tops of your thighs. “I have some leftover takeout that I had for lunch. How about I heat that up and we can share it while I help you with your work?”

“You don’t have to stay. I’ll be fine.”

You shook your head. “No, I’ll stay. I have nothing else to do.”

Derek grinned and kissed the top of your hand. “You’re too good to me.”

You smirked. “I know.”

Pretty soon, the two of you were hunched over his desk, sharing bites of dinner and chatting easily as you trudged through paperwork.

You quickly learned that he liked to read Kurt Vonnegut and that his eagle tattoo was because of a nickname he had gotten in college. You told him about your fear of the ocean and the time you accidentally set off your high school’s fire sprinkler system during chemistry.

It was nice to be able to just talk to him. It felt like you and him had been friends for years and years, not just the past two months. This Derek Morgan was different from any other version of him, and you loved it. If you didn’t already have the biggest crush on him, this just solidified it. You really, really liked him, and you really, really wanted him to just ask you on a date already.

As the night went on, the two of you had moved closer and closer, until your shoulders bumped and your legs were pressed up against each other. If you both turned your faces to look at each other, your noses would brush. And from there, it would only be a few centimeters until your lips would be on each other…

“Thank you for helping me with this,” he said suddenly, breaking you out of your fantasy. He turned towards you, and you could feel his hot breath on your neck, sending shivers down your spine. “You didn’t have to stay, but… it meant a lot that you did.”

You smiled and tried to control your erratic heartbeat. “It was no problem. I’m happy to do it, anytime. Are you feeling any better?”

“A little,” he admitted. “But do you know what would make me feel even better?”

You finally turned to look at him, and his face was so much closer than you expected. “What is that?” you whispered, unable to force yourself to speak any louder.

Derek’s lips quirked up in a smile and he moved impossibly closer to you. His lips were brushing against yours, and all you had to do was lean in just a little bit. Then he met your eyes, and they really did sparkle, and for the first time in his adult life, Derek lost all of his nerve.

“You could kiss it better,” he suggested. “Because you are much hotter than any of the EMTs at the scene.” Derek grimaced internally, knowing that he came off sounding like an asshole. All he had to do was ask you on a date. It should have been easy. So why couldn’t he?

You closed your eyes and sighed exasperatedly, pulling away. “Wow, fumbled at the five yard line,” you teased, trying to hide your disappointment. You had thought that Derek and you were really having a moment, but maybe he really just didn’t want strings attached.

Derek frowned slightly, but tried to laugh it off. It was the first time that he thought he actually had a chance with you, and he blew it. “Yeah, I guess I did, huh?”

You fought a smile as you stood up out of your chair. “Mhm. But there’s always tomorrow. And since you’ve had such a rough past few days…”

You spun Derek’s chair around so that he was facing you, and you placed your hands on the arms of his chair, leaning over him. The two of you kept eye contact for what felt like ten years, and his cologne was making you dizzy. Slowly, you pressed a lingering kiss right on the corner of his lips. Derek’s breath got caught in his throat as you pulled yourself away, albeit on shaky legs.

“And that’s all the lovin’ you’re getting from me tonight,” you teased.

Derek leaned back in his chair, his hand over his heart in what looked to be a dramatic display of affection. In truth, he was trying to calm his rapid heartbeat however he could. “Oh, light of my life,” he cooed. “That’s more than enough. It’s the only win I’ve gotten all week.”

~~~~~~~

It had been a few days since your night in the office with Derek, and he hadn’t tried anything, which worried you. He wasn’t avoiding you, and the two of you still exchanged pleasantries throughout the day, but he wasn’t flirting with you anymore.

Part of you wondered if you were too harsh with him that night, if you should have just kissed him and gone home with him. But within the past few weeks, your infatuation with Derek Morgan had turned into a full blown crush, as juvenile as it sounded, and you did not want to be another notch in his bedpost. So you were willing to wait it out, to see if you would actually say the words: “Do you want to go out with me?”.

As if you had summoned him, Derek Morgan wheeled his chair over to your desk and put down a coffee cup from your favorite little cafe in front of you.

“Iced vanilla latte with oat milk?”

“You know both of my coffee orders?” you grinned. “I’m impressed.”

“Consider it a bribe,” Derek said, and you raised your eyebrow as a response.

“A bribe?”

“Please go out with me,” Derek asked, trying not to sound as desperate as he felt. “Pretty please. This was fun for a while, but now you are the only thing I think about. I can’t do my job, and I can barely sleep. I feel like I’m going crazy. You are so hot and so smart and so funny. Please let me take you on a date.”

The smile that grew on your face was so big that your cheeks started to hurt. “I’d love that.”

Derek seemed shocked that his attempt actually worked, and he blinked a few times just to make sure he heard you correctly. “Seriously? It’s a yes?”

“Mhm,” you nodded, taking a sip of the coffee Derek got you. “You finally asked me. Of course I said yes.”

“All I’ve been doing the past few weeks has been asking you,” he pointed out.

You hummed to yourself as you scrunched up your nose. “No. You told me that we were going on a date, asked me to have sex with you twice, and the rest of the times, you just used pick up lines. This is the first time you ever actually asked.”

Derek stared at your wordlessly, his mouth opening and closing as he tried to figure out what to say. Finally, he landed on: “That’s all it took?”

“Yup,” you replied, popping the ‘p’. “Although, I do want to hear more about my eyes and the meteor shower.”

Derek let out a breathy chuckle, shaking his head as he did. “I will be sure to tell you all about it. And more. I’ll pick you up at 8?”

You were practically beaming as you watched Derek stand back up. “That sounds perfect. Oh, and Derek? I hope you still have those candles out and ready to use.”

“Baby, I never put them away.” Derek winked at you before walking back to his desk. Prentiss was mumbling something about owing Hotch money, but Derek was so high up on cloud 9 that he couldn’t be bothered to care.

“See Reid,” Derek said as he took his seat at his desk. “That’s what we call ‘playing the long game’.”

“Finally,” Spencer grumbled, his nose buried in some book Derek didn’t recognize. “Took you long enough to realize.”

Derek’s eyebrows furrowed together. “You knew?”

Spencer scoffed, flipping the page of the book he was reading. “I knew from the first time they rejected you.”

Derek leaned forward, placing his elbows on his desk. “Man, why didn’t you tell me?”

Spencer finally looked up from his book, his eyebrow quirked up. “You were ‘playing the long game’,” he quoted in a bad impression of Derek’s voice. “And since I’m running it, I get a cut of the entire betting pool, no matter who won, so it was in my best interest to keep it going as long as possible.”

Derek shook his head in disbelief. “I see. That pretty face of yours is hiding an evil genius.”

Spencer hummed in agreement and went back to his book. There was a beat of silence before he spoke again. “They want you to take them to that Mediterranean place two blocks down.”

“Okay, there is no way you know that,” Derek groaned, rolling his eyes.

“You don’t have to take my advice, but you should. Clearly, you’re helpless,” Spencer shrugged, and Derek laughed as he threw a crumpled piece of paper at him.

When Derek picked you up that night, he made sure that the flowers he brought you were hypoallergenic, and the Mediterranean place ended up being the right choice, not that he would ever admit that to Spencer.

And he did, for the record, make sure to set out those candles he promised, but at the end of the night, the two of you were too busy tearing off each other’s clothes to even bother lighting them.

#derek morgan #derek morgan fanfic #derek morgan fanfiction #derek morgan imagine #criminal minds imagine #derek morgan x reader #criminal minds #spencer reid #emily prentiss #david rossi #aaron hotchner #penelope garcia #jennifer jareau #my writing

[s5oyaa]

i will now proceed to reject canon and make my own fluff headcanons and moments of the walten files

because this is how i cope

-jack constantly being worried about sophie with jenny but jenny reassures him all the time that she'll take care of sophie with all her heart . . . and because of that jack made jenny her own lil plush toy !

-felix and linda divorced ?? what are you talking about ?? they recently bought a house , and-- oh, whats that ?? AW LOOK AT THEM !! they're waltzing to slow songs on the record player !

-rosemary once made jack and felix wear skirts. yup. i think jack wore them twice, he loved how comfortable they were

-felix brought the walten family to a new amusement park and everyone had so much fun. dont forget the polaroids !! oh , and i think jenny and sophie had their first kiss here :]

-LINDA AND ROSEMARY BOTH BAKE FOR THEIR FAMILIES. THEY'RE BAKING BUDDIES !! :D

-rosemary braiding jack's hair. that's it, that's the tweet.

-FELIX IS SUCH A GOOD SKATER. he brought jack to a skating rink and jack's dumbass kept falling. ironically, sophie, his own daughter, is better at skating than him. damn

-JACK MADE A SONG FOR ROSEMARY WHEN THEY WERE IN HIGH SCHOOL. THAT'S HOW IN LOVE THEY WERE. SOULMATES YOUR HONOR.

-the whole walten family watching molly, the youngest daughter, graduate college. tears of joy. crying on the floor. happiness. more cryi

-the walten family would 100% be part of a pride parade in support of sophie and jenny (with felix also advertising bon's burgers. sly bitch.) (because of that bon's burgers became a hangout and safe place for lgbtq+ people :])

-felix owns a lot of sweaters. he and jenny are sweater buddies. oh! and rosemary knitted sweaters for the whole walten & kranken family.

-sophie kicked a homophobe's nuts once (or.. twice?) and jack was so proud of her. i think he shouted "that's my daughter you dumb bitches" when he heard the news

-JACK'S AN ARTIST. A REALLY TALENTED ARTIST. he drew rosemary when he first met her in high school and rosemary has it framed. god me and who

-EDD'S AN ARTIST TOO !! he drew felix for his birthday present and im pretty sure he audibly sobbed

-the walten family really loves picnics. in fact, they made it a tradition ! felix and linda would always join with gifts and food sometimes :D

-at one point jack's hair got really long and he was too lazy to cut it so he constantly asks rosemary/sophie to tie his hair (and sometimes, add clips :D) and im so sure that theres a picture of jack with a manbun and pink clips in rosemary's wallet

-JACK LOVES TO GIVE HUGS. even tho he has anger issues sometimes he'd always give everyone a surprise hug before leaving to/from work

-sophie plays volleyball. yes. she practices sometimes with her uncle felix and he ends up getting ball'd in the face. too many times. i think. poor felix

-JENNY LOVES TO GO SHOPPING FOR CLOTHES, IN FACT, SHE BUYS TOO MANY CLOTHES FOR SOPHIE. thats one of her love languages :D

-jack also loves to make dad jokes all the time. stupid, but endearing (especially to rosemary)

-SOPHIE ADOPTED A STRAY DOG AND JACK WAS SO HESITANT ABOUT IT . . . BUT LITERALLY A FEW DAYS LATER HIM AND THE DOG WERE BESTIES (ah yes, the infamous dad and the dog meme)

-molly's a huge fan of clover hunts !! she has a whole collection of 4-leaf clovers that she found :]

-edd's a flower-picker person ! he gives flowers for his entire family (and too many flowers for uncle felix. oops)

-ROSEMARY LOVES PIGGYBACK RIDES SO MUCH AND SHE ALWAYS ASKS JACK FOR ONE AND HE NEVER HESITATES. THEY LITERALLY MAKE ME SO SOFT

-sophie loves to stargaze !! she occasionally borrows felix's telescope (haha nerds /lh) and at one point convinced her family to go stargazing in a mountain and a meteor shower also happened that night. she may or may not have cried.

#the walten files #twf #walten files #jack walten #felix kranken #sophie walten #reject canon bitches its time to make the characters live a happy life #will i add more in the future? possibly #will i draw some of these? maybe #i would like to apologize for those who followed me for mcyt im having a twf brainrot moment

[thatringboy]

The Way A Soul Lives - TWST

To write some Diasomnia angst has been a goal of mine for a while and seeing the new official book and the Diasomnia boys made me want to finish

I’ve only ever written angst a few times, so this was a nice practice. I hope I didn’t go too OOC here, but I think I’m good. I tried a new writing style here that I’m not that confident in, so feedback is very much appreciated!

Warnings: Magic, self inserted theories about Faes, fight scenes, blood, death and the angst associated with that

Word count: 1,615 (a new record I think!)

Sebek enjoyed the night shift. There was always something invigorating about walking around the Draconia castle when only dim torches and moonlight lit his path. A hand on his sword hilt, he quietly marched up and down halls, sometimes stopping in the Royal Library to glance at a book, and always passed by the rooms of the royal family.

However, his blood turned to ice when the Fae noticed a haphazardly opened window and mud tracked on the floor near it. He turned on his heels and ran back towards the room of his fellow guard, taking into account that the muddy footprints were not those of a humanoid.

~~~

Yuu sat down on the blanket and a frown tugged at their lips. “So why did you drag me all the way out here? It’s freezing!”

Cater laughed and pulled his coat on tighter. “Because there’s a Meteor shower tonight and there’s gonna be some fireworks to celebrate the end of Spring Break! Don’t worry, the others will be here soon and we can take some pics for Magicam.”

Principal Crowley had allowed Yuu Prefect to leave Night Raven College for the week of Spring Break and the magic-less human somehow got dragged to the mountains of Pyroxene where the snow had not yet melted. Yuu spent the week posing for cameras with Cater and Vil and learned how to snowboard thanks to Jack’s tutelage. Grim enjoyed the attention he was receiving during the trip and showed his gratitude by becoming a makeshift hot water bottle inside of Yuu’s thick coat.

Two figures approached the clearing. The shorter one talked with their hands in an annoyed voice. “All I’m saying is that you and the potato could really become a modeling duo! You two have the natural talent and certainly the looks.”

The taller figure grunted and sat down next to Yuu. “Not in a million years will you find me modeling sports clothing. Oh, hey Prefect.”

“Hey Jack.” Yuu sighed and looked up at the stars that were starting to appear. The constellations in Twisted Wonderland were different from those on Earth and they seemed to draw large coherent pictures across the sky. Vil sat down on his own blanket and opened his mouth to argue with Jack some more, but Cater closed his mouth.

“The show’s about to start!”

~~~

Sebek knocked on Silver’s door as quietly as he could. He could hear his fellow guard get out of bed and step to the door. Silver opened the door partially and opened his mouth to protest the rude awakening, but Sebek covered it before the human could make a sound.

“There’s an intruder.” Sebek whispered. “I can take the South stairwell to the young lord’s room if you take the West and go get Master Lilia.”

Silver nodded and grabbed his pen. The two men silently went in their directions, Silver to the west and Sebek to the south, and stepped into hidden passages. Sebek broke into a full sprint and exited the passage to see that Malleus’ door was open. A feeling of dread set into his stomach as he tip-toed near the door. What he saw sent a shiver of terror down his spine.

Standing over the sleeping figure of Malleus was a creature made of flickering and ever-changing shadows. From within itself, it produced an awful looking hand with claws the size of kitchen knives. Sebek moved without thinking and drew his sword as he ran to the side of the bed. He swung his sword in a graceful arc and removed the clawed appendage from the monster. It reeled back and shrieked horrifically, making Sebek cover his ears and making Malleus bolt awake.

The dragon Fae assessed the situation and dove out of bed for his staff, but the monster put itself between the two. The amputated limb shook violently in the air before it seemed to regrow itself. Sebek lunged with his sword and put himself in front of Malleus. “Go! Silver and Master Lilia are on their way! Get to the panic room!”

Malleus nodded and ran from the room. Sebek returned his focus on the monster. He had trained for this very scenario for a good portion of his life and he certainly wasn’t going to back down now.

~~~

The night grew colder, but the fireworks were worth it. Yuu clutched onto Grim’s warmth while Cater and Vil shared a blanket and watched the colorful lights explode in the air. Jack, having a naturally high body temperature, didn’t understand the discomfort of his companions, but thankfully didn’t tease them about it. He was sure that if he brought it up, his tail might receive a wicked pinch.

Cater had his phone up taking as many pictures as he could of the show while Vil had only taken a single selfie. Yuu sat in awe of the entire situation and was suddenly very grateful that the Principle had permitted this vacation.

Ew, was Yuu Prefect grateful for the actions of Crowley? The thought disgusted them and made them shiver more than the cold. Grim looked up at them “How cold are you, you weak human!”

Yuu frowned and hugged Grim tighter. “Very.”

Jack leaned forward from where he was sitting. “Here comes the finale! You’re in for a treat, you two.”

Grim and Yuu looked up to see a firework explode above them. A shower of gold sparks rained down as a second firework went off, sending red and blue streams everywhere.

“Truly beautiful.” Vil whispered. He got his phone out and snapped another picture. Yuu assumed that he would be sending it to Rook. Cater laughed and pointed to another firework that was about to explode. It went off and a brilliant lime green glow filled the night sky. Yuu agreed with Vil - the sight was the most beautiful thing they had ever seen.

When the lights faded, Yuu noticed that the stars were all out, blanketing the sky with billions of small lights. Jack laid down on his back and looked up at the sky. “What do you know, the Draconia Constellation can be seen this early in the year. That’s usually a Summer Constellation.”

Yuu looked up and sure enough, a large portion of the stars formed a dragon in the air. “Draconia, like Malleus’ family?”

Cater sat back as well, taking the shared blanket with him to the distress of Vil. “That’s the one. The longest Fae line in the world.”

Grim looked up. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

Vil raised his eyebrows. “I keep forgetting that you are not of this world. Let me explain this for you.”

~~~

Sebek could counter the physical attacks of the monster, but he hadn’t expected it to start hurling fireballs at him. He hissed and kicked himself a little bit whenever a fireball set something of Malleus’ ablaze, but he forced himself to keep his head in the fight.

Where is that lazy Silver? He should be here by now!

The monster jumped up and landed on the bed. Sebek pulled out his pen and fired a bolt of magic, but the mass of shadows absorbed the spell and made that horrible screech again. He grimaced and swung again, ducking under another fireball and was surprised that his sword made contact with something solid, but bounced off.

This creature, it’s changing to match my attacks! Come on, Sebek, think!

He grit his teeth and rolled across the bed, diving behind it to use as cover. If he kept the monster focused on him, it wouldn’t make a break for the door.

The door...

Sebek peaked his head up and noticed that the monster was loading another fireball. He ducked to avoid being hit and made a mad dash for the exit, throwing a rather large textbook that probably held ancient spells passed down from the Fairy Queen herself. Sebek hated to see such literature shredded before his eyes, but he decided that in the moment this would be acceptable behavior.

The monster recovered faster than he had anticipated. It’s claw lashed out as Sebek almost crossed the threshold and knocked him aside. His head hit the side of Malleus’ wardrobe and he felt a stinging pain in his right eye, but other than that was uninjured and got back on his feet. It slashed out again, but Sebek narrowly avoided the sharp talons. His energy was drained and even if he could raise his pen, he would possibly overblot from casting a single spell. He could run for the door again and risk impalement or stay in the corner and be burnt alive. Sebek’s mind, despite the chaos around him and his time running out, started to think of his friends at Night Raven College.

What would they do in his situation? Deuce and Jack would rush in head first, Ace would attempt to create a distraction, Grim would just made more fire and Yuu Prefect probably wouldn’t have even gotten themselves into this mess. Not to mention Epel would probably do any of those things based off of his slightly unpredictable personality. There was little doubt that Epel would also charge the monster, but there was no way of knowing for sure.

Sebek tuned back into reality as a fireball narrowly missed his face. The stinging in his eye and blood trickling down from his scalp made it hard to focus, but his adrenaline was still pumping. He was still standing. He was still fighting.

“Sebek!”

Someone called from the door. The guard - and the monster - turned to see a horrified Silver standing there, his pen clutched tightly. Sebek’s heart froze. He wanted to tell Silver to run, but Sebek’s voice became caught in his chest. The creature of shadows began to prepare another fireball, but Sebek’s body reacted quicker. He dropped his sword and tackled the monster. The two clashed until Sebek managed to force it out of Malleus’ window, but the monster held tight and Sebek felt gravity pull him down to the courtyard below.

~~~

“While most stars outside of constellations are celestial spheres of noble gases and other elements, the stars in constellations are actually souls.” Vil sat back on his hands and looked up at the dragon shaped image in the sky.

Cater sat back up, letting Vil snatch back the blanket. “Oh yeah! My mom explained this to me! Every time a fairy dies, they join their family constellation in the stars!”

“Unlike mortal souls that go to the Isles of Lamentation when we pass,” Vil continued. “The Fae’s immortal spirits are placed in the heavens to dance for all of eternity, or so the legend goes. Some stories say that the Fae came to Twisted Wonderland from the stars and so to the stars they return, but I for one just believe that this is a beautiful story.”

Yuu thought for a second. “So then what about shooting stars?”

Jack put his hands behind his head and got comfortable on the ground. “Nope, those are just regular comets or asteroids or whatever you call them.”

“Fascinating.” Yuu whispered. “Where I come from, stars are just flaming balls of gas in space. I shouldn’t be surprised that magic goes as far as constellations, but I am.”

Grim cleared his throat. “Wait, what about wishing stars?”

Vil put a hand to his chin to think. “You know, I’m not entirely sure. It could be that the magic of the fallen fairies could be the ones granting the wishes, but I don’t believe anyone is sure.”

“One of the universe’s many mysteries.” Cater’s voice dropped to be almost inaudible.

Yuu looked back up at the Draconia Line constellation. “There’s a hole in the dragon’s heart except for that one bright star, is that one Maleficent?”

Jack nodded, which was hard because he was on the ground. “The area around her is probably being reserved for her immediate family, so one day in a thousand years, Malleus and Lilia will join her and maybe even Sebek if he wasn’t too stubborn to die.”

Yuu laughed. “Yeah, that’s Sebek.”

~~~

Everything hurt.

Sebek was sure his arms and several ribs were broken, but other than that he landed from the seventh floor quite successfully. He attempted to sit up, but his body ached too much.

The shadow monster laid prone on the stone next to him. Sebek hoped it was finally dead. His inhuman vision let him see Silver and Lilia looking out the window he had tumbled from. Lilia vanished and reappeared next to Sebek, looking down at him with a sad face.

“Forgive my tardiness, young man.” Lilia knelt down next to Sebek and began to mutter a healing spell. A wave of warmth rushed over Sebek as the spell took hold over his body and he felt very tired.

“What is that thing?” Sebek looked at the monster. Lilia glanced back at it and shrugged. “I suppose a demon created to take the life of our young prince. You did well holding up against it for so long, I’m sure there’ll be a medal waiting for you when you wake up that you can show to all your companions at school.”

Sebek liked that idea. He imagined wearing a new medal proudly for a week to boast about to his friends.

“Oh Jack what did you do over the break?”

“I was just snowboarding at home.”

“Well I single-handedly fought off a demon and saved the young lord’s life!”

If it didn’t take so much energy, Sebek would have smiled from the thought.

Lilia finished his spell and offered a hand for Sebek to stand. It took effort, but the taller Fae got to his feet and leaned against his mentor. They began to walk away from the body of the monster, but out of the corner of his ever vigilant eyes, Sebek swore he saw it move.

Time seemed to slow down for Sebek. He shoved Lilia to the ground, earning an angry protest from the older Fae, and turned to face the monster as its claws sunk into his chest, tearing away his armor like it was paper.

The healing spell must have dulled his senses because Sebek didn’t feel any pain from the attack. Instead, he just looked up at the night sky and the Draconia Line constellation looked back down at him. The monster retracted its claw and Sebek slumped to the ground. He wasn’t aware of the pool of blood that was forming around his knees and he wasn’t aware of the blood curdling scream that came from Lilia’s lips, nor was he aware of the beam of magic that ripped the monster in two.

No, all Sebek was aware of were the beautiful stars inviting him to dance with them.

~~~

Yuu could see the stars from their bedroom in Jack’s house. After packing up for the night, Yuu, Grim and Jack said their goodbyes and returned to the log cabin. They had packed their things for their return to school in the morning, but while the cat-like monster slumbered peacefully on the bed they shared, Yuu found themself staring at the stars again.

They also found themself feeling a pit of dread well up in their stomach. It was cold like a clawed hand reaching up and tearing them apart from the inside. There was no reason that Yuu could think of to have this feeling, but it made them wonder if returning to Night Raven College would yield another overblotting upperclassman.

Yuu pushed the window open and a cool breeze ruffled their hair. They looked up at the dragon constellation and squinted before their eyes widened in confusion.

Yuu didn’t know how or why, but the bright star in the heart of the dragon was now joined by a smaller star that shone just as bright.

#this took me so long to write #i'm not that sure about the ending #but i like how the two scenes meshed together #TWST #twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland writing #Sebek Zigvolt #Lilia Vanrouge #twisted wonderland Silver #Malleus Draconia #Cater Diamond #Jack Howl #vil schoenheit #Twisted Wonderland Yuu Prefect #Yuu Prefect #twisted wonderland Grim #ThatRingBoy Blue #ThatRingBoy Writing

[silverwhiteraven]

Borne of the Stars - Chapter 4 - An MLB Kryptonian AU

Tag List:  @eve-valution @weird-pale-blonde-person @kris-pines04 @soulmate-game @abrx2002 @amayakans @vixen-uchiha @heldtogetherbysafetypins @raisuke06 @dorkus-minimus @captainartsypants @mopester-is-here @moonlightstar64 @annabellabrookes @daminett4life @toodaloo-kangaroo @the-navistar-carol @elspethshadow

[ Posted on Ao3 ] [ Chapter 1 ] [ Chapter 3 ] [ Chapter 5 ]

[ A/N: Alright! The Metropolis ‘Intro Arc’ comes to a close, and leads right into a bit of time-skipping! Chapter 5 begins Marinette’s journey into gaining superpowers in strange ways. ]

[ Summary: Answers are given and some backstory is filled in, but blanks still remain. It’s time for new friends to part ways. ]

“Meteor shower?”

Marinette looked quizzically towards her parents, knowing nothing of such an event ever happening. But she also knew there was a chance it had happened before they had ever met her.

Sabine stepped up, a more passive, if not helpless, look of cluelessness on her features. “No, as far as Tom and I are aware, she wasn’t. But, perhaps, she may have been. You see,” she began to elaborate, wrapping a reassuring arm around her daughter alongside her husband, “Marinette is adopted.”

Supergirl blinked at that, and Tom continued where Sabine left off before the superhero could ask any premature questions. 

“There was some kind of accident that happened with her original parents. Not her birth ones as far as the adoption agency knew. They claimed the DNA didn’t match any of the residents where she was found, and there was no birth certificate.” 

Tom patted his daughter’s head and she smiled reassuringly. She knew the story, and came to terms with it long ago. It had never really been a crisis for her, it was simply a fact of her life.

Marinette decided to pick up the tale herself and explain the rest.

“They don't know what exactly caused it, but the whole building had collapsed, and I was the only survivor. They suspected some kind of explosion from the debris. 

“The people who rescued me from the aftermath knew my name was Marinette because of a note that I had been swaddled with, but that was it. The note was too damaged to read anything else, but they suspect it may have been a simple baby-care to-do list for new parents. 

“So, I guess to answer your question… We have no clue. Why? You said you saw something, an old injury, could it have been debris from the accident?” 

Tom pipes up once more to fill in more blanks and open more questions. “There was no report of injuries from that, just your pre-existing scars.”

“And I don’t think they ever checked those,” Sabine adds, “likely assuming they were taken care of before the accident.”

“Scars…” Supergirl mused, looking Marinette over once more. “Marigold, they wouldn't happen to be over your right shoulder, back, and leg, would they?”

The Dupain-Chengs’ eyes were wide as they looked at each other before Marinette stepped closer, pushing down the right shoulder of her re-dawned over-shirt and the shirt underneath, twisting around to be able to show the faint scarring there in strange jagged, spotty patterns. It definitely looked like it had been something done by multiple culprits such as a dense scattering of tiny meteors. Or shrapnel from something much closer. 

Supergirl’s resolve seemed to solidify at the sight and nodded, stepping up closer and pointing to one of the largest of the scars between her shoulder and collarbone, then another at her shoulder blade. “Your back and leg have big ones like these too, right?” A nod in response, and she continues. 

“All of those spots have large chunks of crystals that I suspect might be from… a place I call home. I felt them when I helped you out back there.” Marinette furrowed her brow, wondering if that seeming uncharacteristic weakness and tiredness of the two superheroes had been because of these hidden crystals. Did she somehow really have a weakness to the indestructible heroes just sitting around inside her?

“Oh, sorry for being snippy back there by the way, I thought the crystals had been put in you on purpose, it didn't help that I recognized that other guy, too, I hope you can forgive me, Starshine.” Marinette flushed at the attention, not expecting the apology and another nickname, but she nodded in affirmation to the apology. Supergirl then stepped back as she continued on with a returned nod, and Marinette took it to put her sleeves back in place. 

“Anyways, I’ll bet my hat, metaphorically of course, that all the smaller pieces were removed by your body naturally as you grew, but the bigger ones stuck around. Get those checked out, long term exposure of my homeworld’s rocks can have bad effects on humans. To have none so far, you're lucky. Well, as lucky as you can get with already having, ya’know… Yeah…” The hero looked sheepish now, and Marinette just laughed softly, Tom and Sabine chuckling behind her.

“We’ll be sure to get it taken care of,” Marinette nods glad to have gotten help for something she hadn't even known was wrong. “Thank you, Supergirl. For everything.”

“Hah, it was nothin’,” the hero grins, reaching up to touch her hair, and instead clocked herself in the temple with Marinette’s sketchbook that she still held. “Owch! Oh! Ha-hah, that- that's definitely not mine, here- Actually…” Before she hands it back, she pulls one of the pencils out from between the bindings and scribbles down into the blank spaces between the Superman sketches. 

When Marinette finally takes the sketchbook back, there's two names and two numbers. The first, situated below the most detailed of the Superman designs, is the name Clark Kent, and a number labeled personal cell. The second number is vertically written between the Supergirl skirt and the sash design Supergirl had been admiring, and the name was Supergirl, also labeled with personal cell. 

Marinette’s eyes go wide at both, and she slams the sketchbook closed to hide them from prying eyes. “But these are-! You-! I can’t-!” 

She’s cut off by a full and gleeful laugh from the superhero. “Geode, It’s fine, don't worry ‘bout it! Really! Superman already told me to give you Kent’s for your reporter friend, the other one you can just consider an emergency contact for anything about those crystals you’ve got. That's acceptable, right? Good!” she beams when Marinette gives a speechless nod, and the designer could swear that Supergirl was actually doing something to make herself glow with the sun framing her from above her head. 

“I should be heading off then,” the superhero continued, and her glow dimmed with it, but she stayed grinning and proud, more content in the moment. “Think you need anything else or we good?”

Having a quick thought, Marinette reached into her back and slipped out one of her home-made business cards. She never actually used them, she wasn't ready to start her own business just yet, but they were convenient if she ever needed to give her contact info to anyone. This was as good a time as any to put them to use. 

She stepped up quickly and grabbed Supergirl’s hand in her own, slipping the paper into the other teen’s fingers. 

“Thank you again, Supergirl, I mean it. Thank you.”

The hero softens just a bit as she looks back at the bright, dirt covered girl she rescued from the Daily Planet’s main symbol. Her grin returns full force and she winks. “Any time, cutie, it’s what I do.” 

Marinette let's go with a laugh at the superhero’s antics, and finally releases her hand. 

With a wave from both Supergirl and the Dupain-Chengs, they part ways. 

A few things happen for Marinette after that day in Metropolis. 

First, after Marinette got back to the hotel her family was staying in, she made a call to Alya back in Paris. She told her about the villain attack, the destruction, and the heroes rescuing her. She made sure to spare any and every personal detail, both of her own and of the heroes’. Marinette didn't want to be teased or prodded about it, and she strongly guessed the heroes didn't want the wrong things getting out. Alya had dropped her phone upon hearing about her getting not just the contact for a well known reporter, but also securing a promise for an interview in her name. Alya at least gracefully respected that Marinette refused to give up the number, and planned to set the interview up herself to make sure she didn't break their trust in her.

After that, Marinette and her parents discussed the whole alien crystals in her body thing, and decided they should get them removed as soon as they returned home, not wanting their daughter recovering from surgeries like that while travelling. Figuring Supergirl would be too busy to answer a call, she sent a text instead about the decision. A fitting string of emojis followed by a ‘sweet! update me soon, ttyl’ was the reply.

Marinette didn't encounter either of the Super-Duo for the rest of her trip, but she texted the teen again a few days before they were set to leave. She asked about music recommendations, stating a desire to get a gift of CDs or records for one of her long-time best friends back home. Not only did she get a good long list of album recommendations, but also a short list of the best music stores in the city, in order of ‘best to still-best-but-slightly-less-awesome’, as Supergirl put it. 

After the Dupain-Chengs returned to Paris, the renovations of the bakery almost complete, they set up everything they needed for the removal of the foreign crystals. Once more, Marinette made sure to text Supergirl. And this time, they did see each other again. The American hero flew all the way to France to bring Marinette something, a Non-Disclosure Agreement for the doctors handling Marinette and the crystals. Apparently, her and her cousin used them in emergencies to keep their identities safe, and their weaknesses out of the wrong hands, as best they could. It only confirmed for Marinette that the crystals were indeed weaknesses to them, and she vowed to keep them secret.

Supergirl stayed in Paris to oversee the surgeries, despite how much it embarrassed Marinatte to have a superhero acting like a bodyguard at the hospital, let alone how much the girl told the hero it was alright to leave her on her own. Yet again, Marinette vowed to never tell Alya. She made the hero swear to it, too, though she was sure that promise wouldn't hold if Alya ever got an interview. Truthfully, she wouldn't really hold the other teen to it anyways, but it was nice to know Supergirl would still make the effort to keep it the promise. 

After the crystals were removed and Marinette was home free, Supergirl handed her a leather-bound wooden box, decorated in brass bands and studs, and lined on the inside with lead and velvet. Inside sat several chunks of glowing, ethereal crystals. Most of them were shades of green, but one sat in the center and radiated a brilliant gold. Each had been carefully coated in something clear, meant to prevent skin-to-skin contact when handling, without diminishing the beauty.

“Kryptonite,” Supergirl confessed with a sheepish grin. “Pieces of Krypton, the home planet Kryptonians like Kal-El and I are from. You kept them safe without even knowing it, I can’t imagine how safe they'll be now that you know they're here. Better than being anywhere near us or our enemies, am I right?”

Marinette had laughed, exasperated at Supergirl’s antics, but decided, for once, not to refuse the gift, and accept the new responsibility that came with them. It was the least she could do for a friend from an ocean and a few galaxies away. 

After a few weeks in Paris, Supergirl had to go back to Metropolis a week before Marinette’s last year of collège started, admitting to needing to return to start her first year of high school. 

Her final statement to Marinette had been to make a bet.

Marinette had laughed and fallen down giggling when she first expressed her want to make it. She was so used to Kim and Alix doing the same thing, realizing that they would get along well with Supergirl if they ever met. 

“Geode!” She had called out and declared with the largest air of confidence she could muster, “Geode, Blue Starshine, Princess, Macaroon, Cookie Dough, Buttercup, Blossom, Lil’ Butterfly, Darlin’, Cutie. Marinette! I mean it, and this is my bet! I am going to learn French! It’s going to suck, and I’m going to hate it, but you learned English, so I’ll try to learn something else, too, and maybe I’ll do it in time to surprise you with how awesome I am at it next year.”

“And if you can’t do it?” Marinette had giggled, the last of her laughter simmering down after the bold declaration. 

“I won’t,” was the answer. Yet she still added, “But if I do fail, I’ll take you to the one place only Kal and I can go, a little piece of Home on Earth. Deal?”

Marinette softened at the whole thing, and nodded with a soft smile.

“Deal.”

#Kryptonian AU #Karanette #Borne of the Stars #maribat #crossover au #miraculous ladybug #dc super hero girls #dc superman #kara danvers #marinette dupain cheng #willowbendt #supergirl

[countingwithturkeys]

Blurb: Peacemaker

A long time ago I wrote a blurb about Marceline finally passing and joining Bonnie in dead world. Consider this the prequel to that. Though my blurbs typically don’t come with content warnings, this one has two: Death and feels. I promise the next blurb will be fluffy.

Mom was never the same after mama died.

When I was young I was fascinated by mama’s ability to catch mom in a lie. Mom was a fantastic liar, something she said always served her well at work. She could lie to her demons and she could lie to fellow cosmic entities. She could deceive her father, Death, even herself. She even saw fit to teach me everything she knew, believing that the ability to fool someone was an essential survival skill. She was a master at it, a true artist. But she could never fool mama. She would try, of course, usually with a lop-sided grin that hid her actions but not her intent, but mama saw through her every single time. “It’s her eyes,” mama told me one day. “Your mother can change any part of her she wishes, but her eyes will give her away every time.”

I had laughed when she told me this with a self-satisfied smirk, and it really was funny to think about. The ruler of the Nightosphere, evil incarnate itself, no match for a queen made of gum? Mama had tried to teach me what she knew, because just as mom believed lying was a vital skill mama believed detecting deception was just as important. “For when you become queen one day,” she had said, and I would just roll my eyes because both of my parents are immortal and had lived for well over a century. Still, there was wisdom in mama’s coaching, and I had tried my hardest to see through mom’s tricks and schemes. I never succeeded.

Not until mama died.

“I’m fine, Penny. No worries.”

That had been the first time I had caught mom in a lie, and it made my blood run cold. She had given me the same reassuring smile she had always given me when I asked how she was doing at mama’s funeral, but I could see the pain in her eyes. Something, some light I didn’t even know was supposed to be there was missing. Instead something new had taken its place, something that made me grossly uncomfortable, that made me clench Raak’s hand even as mom fixed them with a level stare, begrudgingly accepting them as my mate out of respect for our soulbond and the desire to see me happy, and nothing more. Even then her heart hadn’t been in it, I could tell. There was no fire. Literally or metaphorically.

“Head back, okay? I’ll catch up.”

Except mom never set foot in the castle again after that day. Jan had tried to joke that mom was finally obeying stereotypical vampire rules, that maybe I should try explicitly inviting her back into the palace that had been her home for hundreds of years. Instead she had decapitated him with her axe. Her heart wasn’t in that either. Raak thought it was funny, but they were too smart to say so.

Instead she threw herself into her work, leaving the Nightosphere only when the situation - either literally or socially - called for it. Of course, she was always there when I wanted or needed her. She was right there for my wedding, because despite mama’s best attempts Ooo never did recognize a soulbond as a legal establishment and more’s the pity, even if Raak was clearly and adorably taken with the whole event. She was there for the births of both of my children, lending no small effort to helping to raise them and teach them what it meant to be part demon, what it meant to live as such on the surface world. She still kept a watchful eye on the descendants of her friends long passed.

But there was no more music after mama died. When she decapitated Jan it didn’t escape my notice that her axe lacked all of the necessary accouterments for it to play music. The concert hall, that extension of the Citadel she had painstakingly built from materials imported from Ooo itself was sealed shut, with no demon daring to mention its existence even in hushed whispers. It was only be executive order - my executive order to be precise - that her records and albums were preserved as Candy Kingdom national treasures. It was the only way I could be sure that my children would know their grandmother had the most hauntingly beautiful voice.

Mom was there, but she wasn’t. She supported me, loved me, guided me. She was every much the same mom she had always been, so long as you didn’t look too closely. Unfortunately for her, I took after mama just a little too much; I appreciated the effort mom put in to make sure I understood and could make music, but I was a scientist at heart. Of course, I studied the science of sound, but musicology was an important field of study with any number of practical applications.

“Your mama would be proud,” mom had said with a beaming, watery smile.

She denied it vehemently, but I knew how much of her she saw in me. I knew how much it hurt her. So I never faulted her reticence, or the way she retreated into herself. She was just as loving and somehow even more frustratingly protective as she had always been when I was a child, but the wisdom only age can grant allowed me to see her as the person she was, flawed and in pain. I pretended not to notice the steel locket she wore tucked under the shield of her suit. I forbade my gardeners from touching mama’s rose garden, leaving it under mom’s devoted care. I told my children stories of my parents so that mom’s voice wouldn’t crack when she tried to tell them instead. Above all, I pretended not to see the pain in her eyes when she looked at me, hidden beneath her love and pride.

I couldn’t imagine the agony of feeling a soulbond severed. My mothers had in essence grown up together in the way only immortals could. Their relationship spanned almost seven hundred years before I was conceived, had lasted over a century by the time that bond had been broken. I took comfort in knowing that at least mama wasn’t suffering; although mom was arrogant - they both were, really, at least that wasn’t a trait I inherited - she was every bit a schemer as mama, just in her own weird way. Before I was even born she had somehow persuaded Death to let mama into Dead World at the highest tier should she ever die, though she was reluctant to share how she had pulled that one off. Not even mama knew, and somehow her frown at being robbed of the knowledge had only ever made mom laugh harder.

I missed the sound of mom’s laughter. That died, too, along with her music.

The best we would ever get were soft chortles, though she did give me a sincere smile the first time my daughter produced fire. She took after my mom in a way I never did and found the Nightosphere fascinating. Somehow she had managed to wear down mom’s resistance and was even allowed to shadow her at work, though it only made her love the job even more. Not that it would ever be her’s, mom would emphasize. Repeatedly. Usually while tapping her amulet with her claw to remind everyone that she was, regrettably, Deathless.

As cliche as it was it had hit me in the middle of the night - poor Raak, I almost gave them a heart attack - that mom would never see mama again. Being exempted from Death’s scythe meant that their souls would never be reunited, and suddenly mom’s morose attitude made perfect sense. She would live eternity in agony, because that amulet she was so proud of was a curse that could only be passed through blood. I was already queen of the Candy Kingdom, and though I knew my daughter would leap at the opportunity to take her grandmother’s place, mom was always adamant that this duty ended with her. And she was endless.

But I was nothing if not my mama’s daughter, and while mom was willing to be resigned to her fate mama had taught me that all problems have solutions, so long as you knew what question to ask. Trusting Raak to distract mom long enough to not notice her precious pickle jar being pilfered from her room, and with a silent promise to both them and Jan that I would make their grievous injuries up to them, I had met with the one being I thought could persuade Death to change his mind.

“Please,” I had implored Life. “I know mom has a contract with Death, but there has to be a different way. I love my mother, and mama died saving me.” Whereas her husband was cold and heartless Life had always been warm and compassionate, and though she could give me no details she assured me that mom herself was what prevented their reunion, that another contract superseded the agreement she and Death had with one another. Life had never lied to me before. This was where mama and I differed as rulers, I had realized: she had trusted no one, save for her mate. I would not make that mistake.

After returning home I bided my time. Nothing important had ever been done in haste. Mama had taught me that. I summoned my daughter and son to me for a secret, yet essential, conversation. He had cried, as I knew he would, but she had understood. Actually, she had grinned that same grin mom had when she finally wore mama’s resistance down. But that would be a headache for a different evening. Although mom liked to only return to Ooo when specifically requested, or to tend to mama’s garden in secret, there was one night I could always count on her making an appearance.

Just as it had ended, it began with a meteor shower.

It was surreal, seeing mom at mama’s grave. I knew she went there every year, leaving the most beautiful of roses for her and apprising her of the previous year’s events. That meteor shower was important to her, important to them both. Their first date was under that shower, they had been married under that shower. Cruelly, mama had been killed the night of that shower, and one year later exactly she had been buried under its glistening light, as was tradition.

Although I normally wouldn’t attempt to hide the sounds of my approach - mom’s hearing was too precise for that to ever work, I had learned that the hard way as a child - I attempted anyway, out of respect for her privacy. It was odd, seeing her out of her suit, in torn jeans and some t-shirt. I could hear the spectre of my mama’s voice calling her outfit distasteful. It made me smile, even if it didn’t make me deaf to the one-sided conversation.

“-so proud of her, Bon. Penny’s got this whole queen thing down. Made some pretty righteous changes you probs wouldn’t approve of, but you know? She actually made a legit treaty with the Fire Kingdom. Like, without using the Nightosphere as a liaison. It was amaze-balls. The Kingdom’s in mondo-awesome hands.” Even as her chuckle was forced I couldn’t help my blush of pride at my mom’s words. She wasn’t one to pay false compliments or criticisms; she said and did exactly as she meant and wanted to. Refreshing, really, given the pressures of ruling.

“I miss you, Bon.” Her voice cracked, and my smile dropped. “It’s…” I heard her sigh and dared to peek from my hiding place behind the gateway that marked the grounds. Whereas before she had been floating she now sat - actually sat - with her arms wrapped around her knees. Something was clasped in her hand, something small and square, but in the dark I couldn’t see what. I never inherited her night vision. “I know Death held up his end of our deal, so you’re pretty up there in Dead World, huh? Gotta be with Finn and Jake and Phoebe and Simon everyone else, right? How are they doing?” Her voice began to shake and I looked away, knowing I was intruding on something deeply personal. “It’s just… so hard without you, Bon. I know you’re probs doing your science junk to your heart’s content… but we had science down here, you know?” And then I heard it. A sound I had never heard before in centuries of life, something that made my heart drop and my skin crawl.

Through a soft, almost imperceptible declaration of her love, my mother was crying.

It was hard to imagine my mother doing such a thing. I knew she was more emotional than my mama - and I had the stories from Uncle Finn and Uncle Jake in my youth to prove it - I had always thought those emotions to be limited to the spectrum of rage. It was hard to see Lady Evil as someone who could or would express such sorrow, and harder still to think of the woman who gave me life, who raised me, protected me, nurtured me, and protected me as having those kinds of feelings, but there they were. And it solidified my decision.

Though it was telling that mom hadn’t heard my approach already I made just enough noise to reveal my position, giving her the chance to conceal her despair. It was the respectful thing to do. It was the kind thing to do.

I heard her snarl, but once she saw who was encroaching on her personal time with my mother’s headstone her demeanor changed. She was floating again, the square object clutched in her hand. The smile she greeted me with was arrogant and knowing, though it was obvious to me that she was counting on the cover of night to hide the signs that this was a bluff. “What are you doing out so late, mein Schatzi?”

I may have not been able to decipher my mom’s expression, but I knew she could see me as clearly as ever. There was no sense stopping my eyeroll. “I thought I would find you out here, mom.” I thought I heard a forced snicker before she seemed to turn back to the grave. I lowered my voice respectfully, both for my mama’s resting place and for the heavy atmosphere. “I wanted to see how you were.”

“Just catching your mama up.” There was a tightness in her voice. And then it was gone. “So what, you got bored? Or is this your way of admitting I was right and that-”

A sigh of irritation escaped me. I didn’t try too hard to stop it. “Mom, for the last time. I’m very happy with Raak. We have two beautiful children, a soulbond, and they never stop striving to make me happy.”

“Now, Penelope-”

“Grandfather wasn’t thrilled with your soul’s choice in a mate, and now you aren’t thrilled with mine. Doesn’t that tell you something?”

She was quiet, and for a moment I believed she might actually reflect on her behavior. My mistake. The same one, coincidentally, I knew mama made just as often. “Seems like it’s a family tradition at this point! Can’t mess with that!”

I closed my eyes, rubbing my left temple. The headache would have to wait until after this conversation. “Mom, I didn’t come out here to talk about Raak or the children. I came out here to talk about mama.”

I didn’t need night vision to see her wince. Even if she hid her tears she always wore her heart on her sleeve. “What did you want to talk about?,” she asked, more tension than I’m sure she meant sneaking into her voice.

It was now or never, quite literally. “Mom… I know you miss her.”

I expected her to deny it, or to at least discourage my inquiry. I didn’t expect the sigh of resignation, or the small white flame to ignite in her palm. “Come here, Penny. There’s something I want to show you.” With a skeptical, raised eyebrow I did as requested, joining my mom and politely pretending that the fire didn’t illuminate the fact she had recently been crying. Mama had taught me the importance of tact. Instead I focused on the rectangular object in her hand.

It was a picture frame of all things. Though the picture it held was old and a bit grainy it was in remarkably good condition, probably from having been kept in the Nightosphere and thus shielded from the effects of time. “Mom… is that…?”

It was my mothers, impossibly younger, laughing and cuddling together against a meteor shower backdrop. Mama was squirming a bit, making her left arm a bit blurry, and mom was off-center, clearly trying to level the camera with her telekinesis. As she followed my gaze mom’s smile was fond. Sad. She watched me, not her picture. “That was the first picture we took together, on our first date.”

“The one you two didn’t even know was a date?”

Her laugh was refreshingly free of grief. “Yeah. Your mama was the one who dragged me out there. I wanted to work on my jams, she wanted to prove to me science isn’t lame.”

“Science isn’t lame, mom.”

Her groan was, of all things, affectionate. “You sound just like your mama.”

“One of us has to,” I grumbled.

“Probably, yeah.” She kissed the top of my head. “I’ve kept this picture safe ever since that day. I know we have tons more, and some fancy portraits I still keep finding, but… this one’s special.”

I gazed intently into that picture, at the images of my mothers from before my time, from before there was even a Candy Kingdom. Back when they shared a little cabin by Butterscotch Lake and were still new to trusting anyone, including themselves. I knew how their story began. And I knew how it was going to end, even if mom didn’t yet. “...I miss her,” I whispered.

“I miss her too, Penny. Every day.”

I rubbed the back of my neck, a nervous gesture I knew I inherited from mom. “That’s what I wanted to talk to you about.”

Even in the dim light of her fire I saw my mother’s suspicious eyebrow. “What did you do and whose soul do I get to suck out?”

“No. No, mom. No soul sucking.”

“Spoilsport.”

“I think you should be with mama.”

Mom could hide a lot of things, but not her grimace. “Penny, we’ve been over this. My place is here. Well, technically it’s in the Nightosphere, but my lair my rules, and right now-”

“Mom,” I interrupted. Rude, I know, but necessary. “I know. You’re the force that stabilizes the Nightosphere, but we both know how enamored Judith is with your job. She would take it over in a heartbeat if allowed.”

“Yeah, and I’m not allowing it.”

“But mom-”

“No, Penelope Abadeer.” she growled out. I wasn’t used to her voice being this firm. Traditionally mama was the firm one, but the topic of the Nightosphere and her role in its existence was a sore one, so I didn’t blame her. “This is a curse. Not one I would inflict on my daughter or my grand daughter. I made my decision-”

“You made your decision back when you thought mama was gonna be with you forever.” Even in the dim light I could see her eyes narrow. “I’m sorry, mom, but we both know it’s true. You never would have agreed if you ever really thought-”

“That was my mistake. End of discussion.” She turned to leave, the flame still ignited in a subtle cue that I was meant to leave with her.

“I talked to Life.” That stopped her, though she didn’t turn back. “And Prismo. In the Time Room.”

Now she turned back. “Are you nuts?! I know my parenting style was always a little lax, but I’m pretty sure your mama would wig out if she heard that!”

I gave her a poignant smile. “No, mom, you’re wigging out. Mama did whatever she had to to solve a problem.” And I’m not my mama, but this would have been a bad time to start poking old wounds. “I know you love me, mom, and I know you love Judith and Uther. You’ve spent your entire life protecting us and Ooo and the memories of everyone you’ve lost, but… they’re just that. Memories. You don’t have to keep doing it.”

“This is my place.” It wasn’t exactly cold, but it was a warning.

“Mom, I love you. You’ve always been there for me. You’re the best mom I could ask for. But I know you miss mama. I have a soulbond too, mom, and I can’t imagine what it would be like to lose Raak. I only know it would be agony beyond compare.”

“I am contractually obligated-”

“Mom, please. I know you take your legal biz and junk really seriously, but I talked to Life. She said there’s another contract that takes precedence over the one you have with Death. I know you don’t trust him, but Life has only ever been kind. She made sure mama’s soul got to Dead World safely, remember?”

Of course mom would remember. Life almost had to pry her soul out of mom’s claws, could hear the silent screams of a shattered soulbond the rest of the universe was deaf to. But she had escorted mama to the highest tier of Dead World herself, granting her safe and smooth passage. Death may have been bitter that mom was proficient in tricking him out of what was rightfully his, but Life held nothing in her heart but love.

I expected mom to ask about the secondary contract, to press me for details I would have loved to give but didn’t know myself. Perhaps she sensed a non-disclosure agreement, or perhaps, deep down, she really just wanted an excuse to try. Regardless- “...One year.”

“Mom?”

She sighed, the warm tone returning to her voice. It never could stay away for long. Not when it came to me. “Give me one year to think about it.”

I smiled and ran over, hugging her tightly. She returned the embrace. It was the best I was going to get out of her right now. Besides, what was a year to an immortal. “Thank you.”

As it would turn out, the decision would not take a full year. Perhaps mom had requested an audience with Life herself, or perhaps she was just willing to accept True Death after hundreds of years of endless Unlife. Regardless, to grand ceremony and press release she had turned over the chaos amulet to my daughter who, despite having been thoroughly exposed to the worst the Nightosphere - and the job itself - had to offer thrived in a way that would make my grandfather proud. Though she and her brother would mourn her loss they, too, were adults and understood that she had existed and done her job, had even saved Ooo itself more than a handful of times, and now the time had come to reap her reward and go home.

Letting go was always difficult for mom. For a woman who often professed that everything changed and that control was an illusion she tried awfully hard to hold on to the past. I was proud of her. Too proud to send her off alone. It was for that reason I ignored her wishes to spend her last night on Ooo alone at mama’s grave. Instead we sat together under the meteor shower, just the three of us, though one of us was silent while she and I exchanged our farewells and promises to be together again one day, when Death’s scythe would inevitably come for me. Though I had inherited mama’s effective immortality I never shared her wish to use it. She never understood that. Mom did.

Speaking of which.

“Mom?”

“Yes, mein Schatzi?”

I hummed, looking up at the night sky. I had grown accustomed to seeing mom without a suit, had gotten used to carrying the weight of her axe strapped to my back. But there was one thing I hadn’t gotten used to, and never would. “Before you go home to mama… will you sing for me? Like when I was a little girl?”

Mom smiled, a real one this time. “Come here, Penny.”

Perhaps it was silly. I was hundreds of years old myself and queen of the most powerful kingdom in the world besides, but I would never say no to a lullaby from my mom. Just as I did when I was a little girl I slid into her arms, letting my head rest against her shoulder as my eyes closed. As she stroked my hair she sang, soft and gentle, filling my mind with idyllic scenery and finding that which was once lost. She sang of gardens and home, of the promise that everything stayed even if it changed. Though I didn’t mean to, I cried into her shoulder, not hard but softly and effortlessly.

I pulled away when her song was finished, kissing her cheek. I was ready. “Thanks, mom.” Her smile was knowing, more like the one I knew than the strained one that had taken its place since mama’s death. It said what we were both thinking: We both needed that. “Take care of mama until I join you both, okay?”

“There’s still time to ask me not to, you know.”

I nodded. “I do know. Please do it anyway. I know how much you love me and the children, but I think if you leave mama alone for too long up there she’ll disassemble Dead World, and then we’ll have something worse than the Night released on Ooo.”

She snickered. “Natch. Your mama’s nuts. You should watch out for that, pretty sure it’s hereditary.”

“You’re both nuts. Fortunately, the two cancel one another out.” With one last hug I stood, leaving her beside mama’s resting place. “Safe journeys, mom. I’ll see you soon. I love you.”

I felt the telekinetic force of her hug. “I love you too, Penny. If you need me I’m pretty sure you can convince Life to let me visit.”

“I’m sure I could. With that said, you and mama prepared me adequately. We’ll be fine. Go home, mom. Sheesh.”

Now it was her turn to roll her eyes at me. “Fine, fine. Get out of here. I promised your mama I’d never stake myself, but the sun’ll be up soon.”

There was nothing more to be said, and I wouldn’t want her final moments to be worrying about mentally scarring me with her True Death. “Alright, mom. Just one more thing.”

Before she died mama had taught me the secret of how she was able to get a picture with mom if vampires couldn’t be reflected in mirrors, and when I produced her small mirrorless camera she knew exactly what I wanted. Just as she always did, she obliged me.

When mom passed she did so at mama’s side, and at peace.

#bubbline #fan fic #adventure time

[sureivan]

( robert sheehan, cis man ) hey ! have you seen “IVAN” ANDERSON around ? HE works as a SNOWBOARD INSTRUCTOR ( KIDS ) at big bear resort, but they must be off their shift by now. well, if you do see them can you let me know ? they’re 27 years old & they’ve been working here for THREE YEARS. they tend to be +GREGARIOUS & +CREATIVE, but can also be -IRRESPONSIBLE & -CAPRICIOUS. the other employees have labeled them THE ICARIAN. thanks a lot ! ( an air of dream continuing to cling to this place, meteor showers and falling stars, the duality of being human ) 

me ? being pretentious and playing with production notes from death of a salesman in ivan’s aesthetics ? just as likely as you think ! howdy howdy howdy ! i’m jude ( 20, est, she/her ) and i ! am really pumped to be here it looks so warm ! anyway !

TRIGGERS: mental illness (schizophrenia, mention of depression), suicide, drugs

so ivan is kind of a spin-off of a muse i’ve tried to play a few times before ( every time i’ve tried,,,, the rp has died i think the longest i played him was for ~2 weeks which tbh is decent in our current rp climate ) and, personality wise, he is always:

aquarius sun, leo moon, gemini rising

esfp

4w3

has a tattoo of catherine zeta-jones on his calf after meeting her and deciding she’s the greatest human to ever exist.

(tabbed bullet) over here tho?? he also has a portrait tattoo of jamie lee curtis on his bicep bc he loves her more than anyone ever

seems friendly, but you don’t want to actually go up and shake his hand because you think he’d somehow like...... put a tadpole in yours.

(tabbed bullet) has no history of putting tadpoles in people’s hands, but could.

a failed musician because he’s dumb and doesn’t realize that glam rock, especially when done solo, isn’t really a thing anymore. 

backstory wise:

actually named william shaffer.

born to a single mother. said mother was afflicted with schizophrenia. of course, that doesn’t mean she had any less love to offer him and his older brother ! however, as she got older, it did begin sending her to mental hospitals more and more often, leaving ivan’s older brother to be his primary caretaker.

but schizophrenia has a genetic potential. while not large when it comes to parents -> children, ivan’s brother was in the very lucky population and inherited his mother’s disorder ! we love inheritance !

now both ivan and his brother were terrified. ivan’s brother ? clear reason ! ivan ? having looked up the statistics, because we do love the internet, he found that, while still considered unlikely, siblings had a higher chance of inheriting it because ! very similar genetic makeup !

so when he was 19, he decided to informally change his name and change his entire being before any disposition had the chance to. he basically forced himself to become more outgoing, express more of his eccentricities –– basically he created an alter ego and pulled a “fake-it-til-you-make-it”

it was during this time that he began attempting a music career. he took inspiration from david bowie’s ideas of forming different personas for each album and attempted to write songs tailored to different personalities... 

he had a very brief taste of success after the informal, ( self ) release ( because what label... ) of his first album. however, soon after, his brother, still frightened of wasting away, fatally shot himself.

that quickly changed ivan’s career trajectory. thrown into a deep depression and also coming to the realization that he would now be the sole provider for his mother’s care, he gave up on his music. the dream had been just in reach, alas...

having a criminal background, it wasn’t the easiest to find work... even though the crimes mainly consisted of doing things such as stealing chickens. while crimes such as those could easily be overlooked, the few they had on record of drug possession hurt his potential.

so off season, he works a couple of jobs with terrible pay. he bags groceries during the day and pulls a larry daley at night ( see: is the night guard of a local museum )

that being said, he thanks GOD when winter comes around. he gets to do something fun and interact with people who actually think his eccentricity is fun ( see: children ). having been born in colorado, he was already adept at snowboarding and skiing, so naturally...

tl;dr: sad dumb boi who is a grocer by day and larry daley by night.

i’m not super good at wanted connections, but a few i can come up with (italicized = ‘pls’):

childhood/high school friends – he’s lived in colorado his entire life, so !

people he met in new york – he took a brief venture to the concrete jungle where dreams are made of when he was trying to get his career up and running

fan(s?) – i mean... he was very briefly famous. probably not radio-play famous, but at least spotify recommendation famous for sure! tried to pull off glam rock if ur muse is into that.

good influence – someone’s gotta do it!

bad influence – he’s a bad influence on your muse / he and your muse egg each other on –– not necessarily at capacity, but....... i have so many of these y’all

confidant – not super open, but there is SOMETHING ABOUT THIS  MUSE. can be mutual. –– roman

fwb – why not!

exes – on good terms or bad terms. again, lived in colorado his entire life with a brief new york foray. can be any gender (but age should be looked at when deciding when they dated since a lot of the muses here are a good many years younger than ivan)

they matched on tinder and texted a lot but never met up and now they accidentally have and “this is awkward i started to think you were a catfish i was about to email nev and max” –– aylie

roommates who wreak havoc

probably!! others!! i j got real general!! but i’m totally open to just brainstorming too or j going with the flow!!

#bigbearintro #SO EXCITED!!

[batbetbitbotbut]

I was tagged by @akhuna!

1. Are you staying home from work/school? Yes - my university has shut down all in-person teaching. This came hot on the heels of a set of strikes by lecturers, so our contact hours were already reduced.  Disruption has been our  only norm since, like, November.

2. If you’re staying home, who’s there with you? One of my housemates remains, the other two have gone back to live with their families.  I made a careful choice to stay here, independent, and honestly I was looking forward to an empty house but I know there are reasons to be grateful for a housemate too.

3. Do you have pets to keep you company? Alas no T_T

4. Who do you miss the most? Three dear friends of mine who live together just across town -- now I can’t see them, can’t visit, can’t hug.  I need to organise a voice call with them if they’re up for that.  Messages aren’t cutting it.

5. When was the last time you left your home?  I left last night to attempt some stargazing because the Lyrid meteor shower is on.  I sat at the edge of a field for about 30 minutes, staring at a patch of sky no different to any other.

6. What was the last thing you bought? I did a big grocery shop last week sometime. Most recent frivolous thing, I pre-ordered a folk dance tunes album from an amazing violinist I know; he was going to record this album slightly later in the year, but now that can’t happen and the money that would have gone to recording has to go to rent instead, so he’ll record it next year with the money from these very early preorders.

7. Is quarantine driving you insane or are you finally relaxed? I feel happy and relaxed, I wake up every morning feeling great... and throughout the day I fail to cope, over and over again, and anxiety builds. Then in the evening I can mostly let go of it and accept that today was a wash and I will try again tomorrow.  It’s not working.

8. Are you a homebody? I... don’t know? I have lots of home-based hobbies and I would gladly make a beautiful home and stay there (but it’s hard when just a student boucning around rental houses), but pre-pandemic I often went out dancing 4, 5, 6 nights a week!  It gave me tremendous energy.  I’m not going crazy because of being at home now but I am feeling understimulated.

9. What movies have you watched recently? The Descendants 2&3. @trueishcolours is to blame and it’s awesome.  Also, Kiki’s Delivery Service.

10. An event that you were looking forward to that got cancelled? I was going to spend nearly a week in early April travelling and dancing, seeing friends and making connections and learning new things, in a different city every night.  For me, realising the virus was serious was the painful process of realising this trip shouldn’t happen (even before it couldn’t happen).

11. What’s the worst thing that you’ve had to cancel? I was supposed to get surgery this summer. I don’t think that’s going to happen.

12. What’s the best thing that you’ve had to cancel? I’m lucky in that generally I don’t have things on my schedule that I don’t want to be on my schedule (except for how my schedule is way too full!).  I’m unlucky in that this means none of the cancellations in my life were happy.

13. Do you have any new hobbies? No, I was already hobby-saturated!  I’m spending less time knitting because I don’t have the motivation or the timeslots like “sitting on a bus” or “listening to a lecture”.  I am playing much more folk music than I used to, partly thanks to a quarantine-motivated tune-of-the-week Facebook group, so that’s taking an existing hobby in a new direction.

14. What are you out of? Fresh fruit and veg.  The greengrocer’s is still open, I just don’t go there often and it’s hard to know my fruit and veg consumption in advance.

15. What music are you listening to? Most of the music I listen to right now is my own flute-playing at questionable levels of skill and other people’s Facebook folkie shenanigans.

16. What shows are you watching? None.

17. What are you reading? I have a stack of “quarantine reading” that I really want to read but I haven’t made much progress.  Nonfiction in progress: Quakers and Nazis because I felt curious about what a famously antifascist yet pacifist group actually did in Nazi Germany. Fiction in progress: Cart and Cwidder by Diana Wynne Jones.

18. What are you doing for self-care? Working hard to eat three meals a day. A friend messages me every morning to make sure I get up.

19. Are you exercising? I go for a walk every day or two, mostly to see flowers and animals (recent wins: chequered lillies, a mink, and two corncrakes!!!!!!). Today I’m going to try yoga, too.  Yoga and my brain have never gotten on well in the past but it’s worth a shot.

20. How’s your toilet paper supply? Going strong. One of my housemates stocked us up right before he went home permanently.

21. Have you made any changes to your hair during quarantine? It growwwwws.

I tag @trueishcolours, @scribefindegil, @stoneserafina, @adventures-in-asexuality. Let me know if you’d like to not be tagged in things in the future! I do these very very rarely.

#quarantine #covid-19 #tag meme

[ziamfanfiction]

more underrated fics?? already read the ones suggested and they were great😭❤️

aye sure! you can also check out our hidden gems tag where i post underrated or unknown fics!

Comical Love by Mtvalexis

AU: Liam owns a comic book store and Geeky Zayn kind of falls in love with the ownerOr(Liam likes nerds named Zayn)

Year 2112 by natallijean

Welcome to the future, where Liam is a 21st century nerd, Louis is Louis, and Harry and Zayn are almost human.

I’ll never know the answer by bradfordswoody

Zayn doesn't think he's smart but Liam believes in him.

you're the missing piece i need by californiall

no one really knows why it happens but tattoos just randomly ink themselves onto peoples skin and sometimes they mean a little more than you think

You Made me Love You by asherly89

Liam goes to the same coffee shop every day because the most beautiful person he's ever seen, Zayn, works there. He finally works up the courage to talk to Zayn and finally one day asks him out, but Zayn says no...so Liam decides to woo him. It works, but Zayn's still hiding a part of his life from Liam. Zayn doesn't want to get hurt and Liam shows him he won't so finally Zayn tells him the big secret...he's a father, of a baby, a cute one at that. Liam of course falls in love with both Zayn and his son.

Cafe on The Corner by luckoftheirish (luckyirish418)

This story was inspired by the following AU prompt where Zayn works at a coffeehouse and Liam is an avid youtube poster. Zayn decorates Liam's cups and when Liam finally notices, romance ensues.

Farm Days by StoryAnonGuy33

"I said watch out, Liam I called your name like five times" He stated regaining his breath. Liam was confused, was it horse poop? Looking down, Liam saw a cluster of flowers growing out of the dirt."You need to watch where you're going" Zayn stated lightly as he went back to his work, leaving Liam a little dumbfounded."Great, he's good with animals and loves nature" Liam mused

Or where Liam spends another summer at his Aunt and Uncles farm. Hoping that Zayn, the new farmhand, would notice him in a different light.

Good Love is on the Way by liamsfreckles

Chewing on his lip, he opened up twitter and uploaded the photo of the letter:

@zaynmalik - help me find the lovely person who sent me this siiick birthday note! Thank you for the birthday love! xo

Within seconds of pressing tweet, the message had hundreds of RT’s and he giggled to himself. He was still so surprised people followed him - anywhere. He’d been a huge recording artist for years, but still felt very surprised with how many people supported and loved him.

Rhino stirred next to him, stretching his body out before resting his large head against Zayn’s knee. He leaned down to kiss the top of the dogs head, wrapping his arms around the not-so-little pup. ‘Think we’ll find our Cinderellie?’ He murmured into Rhino’s neck, before untangling himself. ‘C’mon pup, let’s get you walked…’

Forget Me Not by loveandbeloved

Liam and Zayn are best friends who act like a married couple but in actuality aren't even dating. One day, Zayn gets into an accident and wakes up in the hospital with amnesia, but when Liam tries to explain their life to him, Zayn assumes they are dating. Things escalate until Liam has to decide to tell Zayn the truth or pray that his memory never comes back.

Or: an amnesia fic that's way less angsty than most.

What Can Make Me Feel This Way? by milehighziam

If anyone had asked Zayn the morning Liam had proposed what he planned to do in the future, the answer would be simple. Get back into music, maybe continue his literature studies, see parts of the world he never had the pleasure to see.

But now, about 14 years later, Zayn could proudly say that this is his future.

Or, Zayn reminisces on his engagement to Liam, their wedding, and the births of their children.

hey there, sunshine by Anonymous

Zayn gets hit with a spell that causes the weather to change with his emotions.

(even when I messed it up) There You Are by rosegoldhl (Rosegoldhl)

“It’s so cold,” came a deep voice from his right.

Zayn snapped his head towards the source of the melodic sound, his heart wildly rabbiting in his chest. Liam Payne, firefighter. That’s all he knew about the boy with the kind brown eyes and pretty lips, who had moved to the apartment next to Zayn’s a few months back. He had dug that info from the mailbox downstairs– it was a low moment, he could admit that, but he didn’t do anything illegal, just slightly creepy.

“Maybe you ought to wear something then,” Zayn remarked, nodding towards Liam’s bare chest as he let out the smoke he had inhaled.

There you are, and I run. by SpookyFaces

There is something surreal, something head-spinning about a thought of ruling the world. Or, at least, an underground world of the city. And Liam has been fighting hard for years to get on top of every single asshole around him, to kneel everyone under his gaze. A few corpses, drug deals and robberies only helped him on his way.

But then, under the dull lights of street lamps, he stumbles upon something that changes his perspective of life. Somebody , with sad eyes and an urge to die, who manages to soften his stone-heart and crawl inside of it.

And maybe Liam realizes there is only one world he needs to rule. The one he found in honey-colored doe eyes. His own world.

obsessive and compulsive by hellothebrave

Liam is the only beautiful thing Zayn has gotten stuck on.

Unfathomable Distances by chasingxrabbits

A Skyrim AU where Liam is the reigning prince of Falkreath hold. Zayn is one of the palace guards. When Liam's best friend and Thane to the hold, Louis, contracts a mysterious illness, Liam is left with a choice. Does he leave Falkreath City in search for a cure, and who could (or would) ever accompany him on such a tumultuous journey?

Temptation by froot

Zayn likes pugs and Liam is whipped.

Long As There Are Stars Above You by alienharry

"There's a meteor shower tonight, actually. Thought this might be something you'd like."

Zayn watches Liam for a moment, takes in his soft grin and honest eyes. He's nothing short of breathtaking on a normal day, but when he does these small simple things, Zayn's head gets a bit fuzzy with it. "This isn't a date, you know"

"I'm aware,” Liam laughs.

"Just making sure."

If Zayn were ready to start dating again, he'd want this. He'd want nights alone on the roof and sharing takeout. He'd want the bookstore dates, silent films, watching meteor showers on the roof and teasing each other until they're both giggling. And he'd want it all with Liam.

This isn't a date, it can't be, but God does Zayn wish it was.

-

Zayn's just finished his undergrad and is ready to stop messing around with strangers and get more serious about his studies as he prepares for his dream job. No relationships, no sex. Which is harder than it sounds when Liam Payne comes into his life.

#hidden gems #Anons #eat my ask

[lilbitlestrange-blog]

Entry #7 — WitchiOS

What’s a modern witch without her technology?

There’s an app for almost everything so let’s dive right in to my 8 favourite ones. (Disclaimer: I do not get paid to review these apps.)

STONE

This is a great app for getting to know your crystals. The layout is really simple and easy to use.

When you open the app, you get to see a (quite elaborate) list of crystals shown in pictures. Tapping on a crystal will give you the name and properties of said stone. It will also tell you what sort of energy / magick the stone can be used with. It’s a stunning and nifty app but I do not think each and every crystal you can find on planet Earth is listed on it.

I do have a physical book on crystals since my real life witchy library seems to keep on growing; which is way less distracting than using an app, in my opinion. It’s just handy to have a guide in your pocket, ya know?

SPELLCASTER

At first I started using this app just for fun, but after some time, I started to realise it’s practically a pocket horoscope, tarot deck and book of shadows; all in the same app!

When you open the app up, you have a selection of options.

Tarot readings, spell book, daily horoscope, settings and more.

Starting with the tarot section of the app; the lovely developer advises you to have clear intentions before picking and using a tarot spread.

Whilst you don’t have a wide variety of spreads to choose from; it is a fun and easy way to get a glimpse of what the future holds for you.

The spell book is a compilation of the creator’s personal spells free for you to use and the daily horoscope bit kind of speaks for itself, doesn’t it? I gotta leave something to your imagination!

NIGHT SKY

Ever wondered where the constellations are when you can’t sleep at night? This app will sort you out. Night Sky is an AR app that shows you the constellations, planets and space stations in real time and also notifies you on meteor showers and what the conditions of the sky are when you want to have a little spy. Using the app is fun and simple. Just point your phone around to find what the universe has to offer you.

THE MOON

Okay, I use this app almost on the daily. It shows you everything you need to know about the moon. (Duh) Like where it is in the sky, what sign it’s travelling through and what phase it’s in. I love it. You can upgrade to the full version, but I mainly use the free one for preparing moon rituals.

ASTRAL COACH

I use this app to read my daily horoscope; which is almost always spot on. This app also shows you the status of the moon and offers you a daily motto. It’s simple but useful. You can buy the full version if you want more features; but I’m happy with using just the basics.

THIRD EAR AND HEADSPACE

I’m sure most of you are familiar (or have at least heard of) Headspace. Third Ear is very similar. Mindfulness is really important and I personally wished I used these apps more often. This is something I will need to work on in the new year.

Whilst Headspace is all about breathing exercises; Third Ear also gives you the option to meditate and chant — for us witches. You could say that Third Ear is the Headspace of the witchy community,

GOLDEN THREAD

Okay, this might be the best tarot app ever. It just blows me away. I don’t even know where to start because I’m so excited. (And again, I don’t get paid to review this)

Personal log: this is where you record your journey. Personally, I will try my best to read my daily card every morning and record my process on the app. (Yet another thing I need to add to my to-do list in 2019)

You can draw a daily card, which gives you a detailed description of what everything means. Which is amazing for witches like me whom are fairly new to tarot and find it hard to get the hang of all the different terms.

And do you know what the most incredible thing about this app is (in my humble, free opinion); it literally TEACHES you how to read your own physical deck of cards!

The app gives you the option of doing a digital reading; which is super easy for when you’re on the move and don’t have your physical deck with you.

It also gives you the option to read your physical tarot deck and guide you through it all so you don’t get lost in translation!

I for one will be using this a LOT in future.

TIME PASSAGES

I mainly use this app to consult my birth chart. But apart from this feature, you also get to see which sign the sun and moon are in at the moment of consulting the app. You can also figure out if the moon is void of course and when Mercury is going into retrograde. (Which is always good to know...)

And that’s it regarding witchy apps I currently use to help me along in my craft. I hope this brief review can help you decide whether or not these apps would be something for you, too!

#witch #witchcraft #wicca #wiccan #eclectic witch #modern witch #technology #apps #review #ios #iphone #satanic #satanic witch #blog #blog post #personal #me #lilbitleblog

[ohmytheon]

heroes of the dark (12)

title: heroes of the dark

summary: Uraraka has spent almost a year grieving the loss of Deku, the greatest hero and her love, but life is slowly moving on. She’s got her job, her family, and even a strange friendship with Bakugou. Things are looking hopeful. Until Deku comes back and he’s not what he seems. Something is wrong with his mind, but Uraraka will be damned if she lets him fall again. (Villain!Deku)

– Chap 12: An old face helps figure out what happened to Deku, but news of the last fight gets blasted on the media, forcing Bakugou to deal with some very intense emotions.

notes: Ya'll ready for some plot and then some PAIN? Some new characters are showing up and I'm excited about their entrance into this fic. Also @youseimanami is back at it again with some new fanart for this fic, specifically tied to this chapter! I’m absolutely in love with it! What an incredible icon. I'm blessed.

Flexing the fingers of his now healed left hand, Bakugou tried to decide whether or not he wanted to deck the guy walking into the room. It had been almost three years since he’d last seen Shinsou Hitoshi and things hadn’t gone well. Granted, that was how most of Bakugou’s connections with people worked, but it was hard to get over with Shinsou in particular since Bakugou couldn’t yell at him or anything. If he so much as opened his mouth to snarl back, the other guy would activate his quirk on Bakugou and make him look like an idiot.

“Do we really need him?” Bakugou asked Aizawa, turning his whole body to the side. He didn’t want to even give Shinsou the idea that Bakugou was talking to him, just in case it enabled Shinsou to use his quirk.

Aizawa leveled Bakugou with a tired look that suggested he would rather do anything else in the world than explain things, but he had been the one to bring Shinsou into the fold. They were still in contact with one another after graduation. Made sense considering their quirks and perpetual look of exhaustion. “Out of everyone, Shinsou is the most experienced with brainwashing, as it is his quirk, and therefore would be best at spotting any anomalies in Midoriya’s behavior that might suggest it has happened to him.”

“Well, of course it’s happened to him,” Bakugou shot back. “All Deku has ever wanted was to be a hero, even when he--”

He bit his tongue, remembering that not everyone knew that Deku had been quirkless before he had come to U.A. Only a handful of people knew the truth about All Might passing on his One for All quirk to Deku. Bakugou shouldn’t know, but Deku had half-assed confessed in a moment of weakness. It had taken him months to figure out he was telling the truth. Uraraka knew as well. To be honest, Bakugou wasn’t sure who knew, so he just assumed that no one else did. Did Todoroki? Shit, did the League of Villains know now?

Great, as if there was something else they needed to worry about.

“Are you going to give me the video or not?” Shinsou asked in his bland tone.

Bakugou turned to glare at him and opened his mouth to snap back, but then shut it quickly before a word could slip out. A knowing grin worked its way onto Shinsou’s face as he held out a hand. Bakugou snatched the disk out of Aizawa’s hand and shoved it in Shinsou’s direction. He took it with much less hostility and put it into the computer.

The footage was decent at best, but that was to be expected when a civilian was hiding in their apartment next to one of the most massive hero and villain fights. They had evacuated the area, but this stupid asshole had decided to ignore the warning signs. After Dabi had blown up the building across the street, he’d whipped out his phone and began recording the incident. The guy definitely wasn’t going to be a director or cameraman for a movie any time soon, but he’d gotten the gist of it.

Luckily, Midnight had found him before he’d been able to do anything with the footage. He had been shaking life a leaf trying to escape the apartment complex and was knocked out by her fumes in an attempt to catch any other potential villains hiding inside. Naturally, when he’d come to, he had been terrified out of his mind, babbling about how he’d wanted to leave but he just couldn’t leave his place. Midnight had confiscated his phone and found the video.

It was damning. Bakugou had watched it almost ten times now, unable to get it out of his head. On the video, it didn’t look like he’d given it his all until he’d managed to escape the shadow villain. His fight with Deku alongside Todoroki had been more massive than he remembered, Todoroki’s ice scaling up the walls of buildings and his own explosions lighting up the entire street. Uraraka’s attacks had even looked larger than life. He could remember the rubble that she’d brought down on his head like a meteor shower, but she had been lifting huge pieces of concrete left and right like it was nothing.

That shadow villain’s quirk had taken up an entire block and Bakugou watched again now in a removed way when the shadows blocked out Deku from Aizawa’s view so he could activate his quirk. Nothing compared to the destruction that Deku had unleashed after that. The civilian’s window had shattered in the explosion and even knocked him backwards. By the time he’d crawled back to the window to finish the video, Deku had been lording over Bakugou and twirling that knife around. It was jarring seeing himself in such a vulnerable state like that.

But it was even worse watching Uraraka get taken again. The way she held out her hand, like she was beckoning Deku to choose her over Bakugou. Take me with you. He’d replayed that part so many times, unable to look away from her. The determined set of her wounded body, the way her hand trembled in the air. She was scared, but she was strong too. She had known that she was making the biggest gamble of her life and the payoff was a lose/lose situation for her.

Deku should’ve killed him. Bakugou knew that in his heart. Deku could easily have killed him and taken her anyways, but he hadn’t. He’d listened. He’d stopped. Yeah, he had sent Bakugou flying with a kick, but he hadn’t chopped Bakugou’s hand off and he hadn’t stuck him with the knife. Even Todoroki had been spared, although they couldn’t get their hopes up.

Everyone was so certain that Uraraka would be more or less okay, but they were deluding themselves. Deku’s mind was so fickle right now. If she said or did anything that shattered his illusion of her, Bakugou was worried that something might really snap in Deku. Whatever Deku felt for her, it wasn’t love anymore, not really, but a twisted version of it, an obsession. Uraraka might have known that, but it still hurt. It still played at the heart. Obsession could turn nasty very quickly though.

Once the video was done playing, Shinsou rewinded it to watch it again. Bakugou walked away, bile rising in the back of his throat along with his rage. He couldn’t be here. He couldn’t just stand here and watch her get taken away again. He had to do something, but he felt grounded and lost.

Being back in this stupid safe house was already starting to grate on Bakugou’s nerves. With Uraraka gone, it didn’t serve a purpose in his mind since there was no one to protect (with Todoroki gone, no one was going to lump him in that category, but he couldn’t even revel in that), but they had decided to make it a base of operations. It made sense with all of Hatsume’s equipment here, but he was wary since the League had a hold of two of their own and could find out the location of this place from them.

None of them were quite sure what would happen to either one of them. No sort of ransom had been given and things had been forebodingly quiet. What was going on? Had they killed Todoroki? Tortured him? Those weren’t even the worst thought that had crossed Bakugou’s mind. What if they would try to mess with Todoroki’s mind like they had messed with Deku’s? Taking on the two of them at once sounded like a nightmare.

Shit. All Might and Endeavor really had created the perfect weapons.

“Anything stand out?” Aizawa asked.

Shinsou leaned back in his seat and scratched his chin. “This is different from my quirk.”

“So you believe that it is brainwashing?”

“Well, there are clear moments of hesitation,” Shinsou put in. Bakugou snorted and then paused, wondering if that counted as a verbal response to activate his quirk or if he had to actually say a word. Shinsou glanced back at him, his expression as flat as his voice. “I’m not going to activate my quirk on you.” Bakugou said nothing, just glared at him suspiciously. “This is a serious enough matter that I don’t feel like humiliating you.”

Bakugou worked his jaw, thinking it over, and begrudgingly said, “It sure as hell didn’t seem like he hesitated. He was pretty excited to fight us.” Nothing happened to him, so Shinsou had been telling the truth, at least for now. While he was much more willing to work with others, Uraraka had still pointed out that his natural instinct to distrust everyone was a weakness.

“He didn’t cut your hand off,” Shinsou pointed out, “and he didn’t kill Todoroki. He hasn’t killed anyone, besides a villain, in any of your confrontations with him so far.”

“A moment of clarity?” Bakugou interjected.

“I don’t think so. The emotional outbursts are what truly stand out.”

Shinsou clicked to rewind the video to where Deku broke away from his fight with Bakugou and Todoroki to save Uraraka from the knife villain. Uraraka could’ve taken her on, but she’d allowed herself to get into a compromising situation to pull Deku into a position that would give Aizawa the chance to cancel out his quirk. It had worked. With just one terrified scream, she’d done more to take down Deku than Bakugou and Todoroki combined, playing him at his own game. At the time, he had thought she was in trouble and he’d almost moved to help her, but then Deku had beat him, switching gears so fast that it had taken Bakugou aback.

“He’s a completely different person in this moment, like he breaks character,” Shinsou said. “One second he’s focused on fighting you two, the League’s objective, but when Uraraka is in danger, a switch flips. You can see his entire body relaxing the second he’s with her. It’s hard to see because he’s so fast, but he’s so tensed up when he’s talking and fighting.”

He fast forwarded to the part where Deku had Bakugou pinned down to the ground with a knee. It made Bakugou uncomfortable to watch, seeing himself in a position like that. Though he would never admit it out loud, fear had cut through him in that moment where Deku had held the knife over his wrist. He’d never thought of what might happen to his quirk should something happen to his hands.

Now that Deku had brought it to the forefront of his mind, it was hard for him to not think about it. Those minutes, when Deku had dragged their past through the mud, all Bakugou had been able to think about was how he had been such a fucking child back then. He’d learned over time to not look down on others -- that doing so only held him back -- but back then, he had only thought of how much better he was than everyone else. He had instilled that thought in everyone, especially Deku, using fear and aggression.

No, that wasn’t right. It had been with violence and the threat of more.

And fucking Deku had used the same damn tactic on him.

“This whole exchange confirmed it for me,” Shinsou continued. “All that talking he does before moving to finish the job?”

“Yeah, he was trying to scare me,” Bakugou said with a grunt. His words suggested that it hadn’t worked, but they all knew that bravery was not the absence of fear and it was impossible to face this new Deku without feeling at least a hint of apprehension. “Or rambling like he did all the time. It was annoying then and it’s annoying now.”

Shinsou shook his head. “He was stalling.”

The frown on Aizawa’s face somehow deepened. “How so?”

“You don’t see him obviously hesitating until Uraraka interrupts him, but you said that he talked about how villains get caught because they keep talking or let personal grudges get in the way.” Shinsou tapped a finger on Deku on the screen. “I think some part of him knew what he was doing was wrong, but he couldn’t override whatever he’s been programmed to do, so he stalled until someone else could stop him.”

“Sure didn’t sound like it,” Bakugou mumbled, folding his arms across his chest. “He was excited.”

“Oh, I’m sure he was,” Shinsou said, eyeing Bakugou like he might enjoy dissecting Bakugou as well. He responded with a sour expression. “The stalling was more of a subconscious decision. He probably wasn’t even aware of it. You said it yourself: he’s still in there, but it’s been buried deep.” Shinsou appeared thoughtful as he rewatched Deku threaten Bakugou on the screen. Did he have to watch it again? “With my quirk, a person is fully aware that they’re being brainwashed, but there is nothing they can do. Midoriya is the only one to have been capable of breaking through it and I still don’t know how.”

“And this one?” Aizawa asked. “If he is under the influence of a brainwashing quirk. They’re rare as is.”

A grimace crossed Shinsou’s features. “Judging from how unstable he is and how he switches back and forth, I would say that the quirk affects the person’s emotions along with their mind. It would explain the extreme highs and lows, plus the switches. Some of his emotions and thoughts aren’t exactly his own, but he feels them as such.” He shook his head. “It must have been a painful process.”

“Why do you say that?” Aizawa questioned.

“I just control a person’s mind and body,” Shinsou answered, shrugging his shoulders. “Midoriya looks as if he’s had his mind twisted. He fought hard against my quirk, to the point of breaking his own finger. I can’t imagine what he went through to struggle against his entire person being changed into something else. We all know Midoriya isn’t a natural born villain. Quite the opposite. A lot must have been done to him in order to transform him into this...monstrosity.”

They watched Uraraka talk Deku down from harming Bakugou any further. It didn’t get easier with each watch, only making his stomach twist even further to the point where he felt sick with anger. Her hand trembling in the air as much as Deku’s had been over Bakugou wrist. You could literally see the change in Deku. The rage turning to grief and then to joy. Even when he’d kicked Bakugou hard across the street, he had been calm. At ease. Peaceful. Like he could finally breathe.

It was almost a touching moment, if not for the violent air that surrounded him.

“You should have died,” Shinsou told him, turning in the seat to look back at him. Bakugou didn’t respond. “If Deku was truly evil now, he would have killed you and taken Uraraka with him anyways. He spared you.”

“Shouldn’t he have killed me if he was being controlled?” Bakugou countered.

“Not if he’s not fully under control.” Shinsou stood up and wiped his hands on his pants, as if washing himself of what he’d seen. “Either way, I suspect the next time you all cross paths with him will be much more unpleasant. He’ll likely be forced to go under more conditioning to ensure that he doesn’t let anyone survive.”

“That look any pleasant to you?” Bakugou shot back.

Shinsou fixed him with an unsettling look that only he and maybe Aizawa could manage with their permanently exhausted expressions, like they were tired of how awful the world could be. “You’re alive, aren’t you?”

That shut Bakugou up, but it didn’t make him any happier. If that had been Deku still holding himself back, he did not want to consider what it would look like when Deku finally didn’t -- or couldn’t. He was still in there, clawing underneath whatever mask they had put over him, but it was clear that he was losing. Bakugou wanted to ask if Shinsou thought Uraraka would be safe, but didn’t want an answer either. There could be no such thing as safe where she was. Even if Deku made sure none of the villains touched her, she was still in a den of snakes.

“With my quirk, a person can be snapped out of it if they’re hurt or startled enough,” Shinsou explained. “It used to be as small as a bump in the shoulder, but can now hold past a broken bone. It’s still not fullproof from outside attacks though.” He shook his head. “Midoriya took multiple hits from you and Todoroki that would’ve broken the hold of my quirk, but it doesn’t phase him. This is an incredibly strong quirk on a mental level I haven’t reached.”

Aizawa fixed Shinsou with a critical look, one that Shinsou appeared to be rather familiar with judging from the frown on his face. “Could your quirk potentially stop him or cancel the other out?”

“Well, he’s already broken it once before, but I am stronger now,” Shinsou pointed out. “It could force both the twisted version of him and his real self to combat each other in order to break free of my quirk. Maybe it would cancel out the other brainwashing entirely.” He held out his hands. “I don’t know. Or it could cause an actual psychological collapse. I don’t think any of us want to see the outcome of that.”

It reminded Bakugou of Deku on the rooftop the night of their first confrontation. How he had looked like he was being torn into two and he’d started to activate his quirk without realizing it like some sort of bomb ready to go off and bring everything down with it. If this destruction was Deku in control, then what was out of control?

Bakugou’s phone ringing startled all of them out of their thoughts. Shinsou snorted at the ringtone itself -- a rage-filled screaming song that Bakugou didn’t think was that obvious but made Uraraka laugh every time she heard it -- but then waved a hand, as if giving Bakugou permission to interrupt their conversation. Whatever. It better have been someone with good news or a lead.

It was Tsuyu, who was one of the last people he’d expected to call him. She had been shaken by Uraraka being taken. Before Bakugou could even say anything when he answered the call, Tsuyu said, “Turn on the news.”

“Which channel?” Bakugou asked, a horrible feeling settling in his gut. Sometimes, her straightforwardness got on his damn nerves, but other times, he could appreciate it. He didn’t know what he wanted right now, to be honest.

“Any of them.”

That seemed to be the gist of the conversation, so Bakugou hung up the phone. A text would’ve sufficed. He strode forward to the computer, ignoring Aizawa’s and Shinsou’s questioning looks, and brought up the most popular news channel, only to get his world rocked by what he saw.

“Symbol of Peace Turned Symbol of Terror?”

The headline was in bold lettering on the bottom of the screen, which was currently playing clips from the very same video that they had just analyzed. There was Todoroki and Bakugou fighting Deku; Uraraka going up against that knife villain; Aizawa and Endeavor fighting five villains at once. Terrified, angry, and confused comments were flooding in so fast that it was almost impossible to read any of them. People were freaking out.

“I thought Midnight said that the footage was safe!” Bakugou exclaimed, rounding on Aizawa.

“She went through it,” Aizawa insisted. “Nothing was sent.”

“They could’ve simply deleted the sent messages,” Bakugou snapped. “Idiots! This is the last thing we fucking need! It’s gonna cause mass hysteria and push back against any heroes connected to him.”

Aizawa shook his head. “The guy was delirious from fear. I don’t think he was capable of sending someone a copy and covering his tracks.”

“Unless it wasn’t his actions,” Shinsou pointed out. “Why didn’t he evacuate like everyone else?”

“He said he wanted to leave, but couldn’t…” Aizawa trailed off and all three men looked at each other as a light bulb went off. The video had captured every damning thing. It showed off Deku at his best and the heroes at their worst. When they glanced back at the screen, they noticed that the news channel had zoomed in on the video as best as they could and were met of a grainy picture of Deku looking back directly into the camera, just as he had done with Uraraka’s security camera that first day he’d resurfaced. “The civilian was being controlled as well.”

Aizawa stepped away from him as he made a call to whoever was holding onto the guy that had taken the video. Bakugou’s phone started going off repeatedly from calls and texts, but he ignored them all, unable to look away from the screen. It suddenly felt like the world was a different place. Everyone had loved Deku. It had been annoying as shit, but he had been adored by the public. He had taken his role in taking over for All Might with everything he had and, combined with that cheesy ass personality of his, he had made a splashy impact even before graduation.

However, the impossible strength that people had once revered him for now made them terrified of him. Seeing someone they had not only adored, but trusted and admired turned into a villain that would destroy a whole street and take down a building shook a lot of people. Some of the comments were about the video being faked. Others about how a villain with a transforming quirk must have been impersonating the dead hero. There were a few that proclaimed they had known all along that Deku was secretly no good -- that he had been “too good to be true”.

Those last ones made Bakugou laugh bitterly. They didn’t know how good Deku was. They didn’t know the boy who had taken on years of abuse from another boy whose strength he admired. They didn’t know the boy who was still able to kind after all that -- who had broken his body to save that same boy who had tortured him mercilessly over an inability to see kindness for what it was.

To think that Bakugou would actually miss Deku…

“I knew something was wrong with the video,” Shinsou muttered to himself, his eyes locked on the screen but looking far away. “It was too still, barely any shaking or talking, and he went right back to taping after Deku took out the entire street instead of hiding. A direct contrast to how Midnight found him.”

“He what?” Aizawa barked into the phone, sounding awake as hell and jerking both Bakugou and Shinsou out of their thoughts. “What do you mean by that?” Taking a deep breath and letting a guttural sound out of his chest that sounded both furious and exhausted, Aizawa pinched the bridge of his nose. “This is a disaster. As of right now, he’s our only lead. We have reason to believe that he may have information on what’s going on with Midoriya.” He listened to whoever was on the phone, his entire body tense. “So we wait. We don’t have the time. It’s been three days and besides the video being leaked we’ve heard nothing. For all we know, they could be…”

Aizawa didn’t finish the statement. He didn’t have to for everyone to know what he meant. Three days of silence was a terrible thing. It left their imaginations to run wild and it turned out that Bakugou’s imagination was a lot darker than he’d realized. Deku wouldn’t hurt her. He’d promised to not hurt her. He’d told Todoroki that he wanted to keep her safe -- that the League said they would let her live, but he wanted to be careful. She was alive. She was unharmed. She was safe. As for Todoroki, well, they had no clue. All they could say was that the League hadn’t killed him when they’d the chance and that was that.

“Okay, we’ll meet you at U.A.” Aizawa hung up, not one for niceties, especially when he was in foul mood. Before Bakugou could launch a verbal inquiry like a missle, he held up a hand and Bakugou shut his mouth. “You were right. He’s connected with the League somehow.”

“Is he a villain?” Bakugou demanded.

“We don’t know, but I think he might just be a civilian caught in the middle,” Aizawa told him. He shoved his phone back into his pocket. “At any rate, we can’t find out. The second the footage popped up on the television, he went into a fit and somehow ingested a poison capsule of some sort that he had on him.”

Bakugou threw his hands up. “Did you fucking search him?”

“Of course we did,” Aizawa snapped, his voice threatening Bakugou to not question him like that ever again. “They were able to stabilize him, but he’s in a coma and it appears as if whatever he took is not only unrecognizable, but quirk-resistant, so Recovery Girl can do nothing to bring him out.”

Discomfort flooded Bakugou’s body and he blinked. “Quirk...resistant?”

“It would appear as if the League has someone with a quirk similar to mine,” Aizawa said, frustration evident on his tired face. Well, that was great. So the League had their own evil versions of Shinsou and Aizawa. That was just what they needed to deal with. It would definitely make it easier for them to control Uraraka and Todoroki, both of whom had quirks that made them difficult to contain.

Shinsou hummed thoughtfully. “There must have been some sort of cue left in his brain that told him to take the poison when the footage was leaked or when he saw it again.”

“Why not just have him end it before we found him?” Aizawa wondered out loud.

Bakugou looked back at the screen, which was showing Deku’s face again, staring at the camera. It was blurry from being zoomed in so much, but Bakugou could still picture what Deku’s eyes looked like. Dead, void of anything to suggest he was alive. He looked like that when he was fighting these days. It was only when he saw Uraraka or something truly upset him that those eyes light up like green orbs.

When Bakugou’s phone went off again, he growled in frustration and was ready to rip it open to yell at whoever thought he was the best person to freak out with when he came to a halt. The contact name left him breathless and that punch to the gut feeling came over him again.

He must have been pale in the face or something because Aizawa put a hand on Bakugou’s shoulder and snapped him out of it. “Who is it?”

Bakugou turned his phone for Aizawa to see. It was a number that he hadn’t called in a very long time. Almost eleven months to be exact. Before that, it had been much, much longer, years, over a decade. He had kept the number plugged into his phone mostly because he’d forgotten that it was there and it was transferred every time he upgraded phones. When he’d needed it all those months ago, he had been surprised to find it already there.

The contact read just as it had all those years ago when he’d first put it in as a kid: Deku’s Home.

It was his mom. It was Deku’s mom, Inko Midoriya.

Bakugou’s stomach dropped. She must have seen the video on the news. With Uraraka having been taken, he was the person that she would call next.

When he let the call go to voicemail, not knowing what to do, Aizawa sighed. “I’ll go speak with her.” They had kept her under a close surveillance since being alerted to Deku’s presence in case he tried to contact her, but Deku had kept his distance, perhaps not wanting to involve his mother either. “We should have done it before, but I’d hoped to spare her this pain for as long as possible.”

“No,” Bakugou said flatly, “I’ll do it.” He swallowed. “It… It should be me.”

“Are you sure?” Aizawa asked, his expression unreadable.

With that look in his eyes, Bakugou couldn’t tell if Aizawa thought him capable of handling such a delicate matter. Truth be told, he didn’t know either, seeing as how comfort and delicacy were not his fortes in the slightest. He couldn’t treat Deku’s mom like he had Uraraka. But he recalled letting the small woman hug and cry on him after she was told the news of Deku’s death and then at his funeral. He hadn’t said a word, but he hadn’t had to. Uraraka had told him that he’d done what was needed most of him. To be strong, a pillar, a constant. He wasn’t certain that was what Deku’s mom would need now, but if he had to draw inspiration from Uraraka, then he’d do it.

You didn’t think this was just about Ochako, did you?

No, it had to be him. This was partly his responsibility, after all, and it was time he owned up to it.

*

Tsuyu was already waiting outside of the apartment complex when Bakugou showed up. Since Deku had made his reappearance, Bakugou felt like he’d been bolting out of cars and running for it, but this time, he took his time. He sat in his car for a moment before shoving the door open and dragging himself out. After he slammed the door and locked it, he slunk over in her direction. They didn’t have time to do anything slow -- not when it felt like there was a timer ticking away in Bakugou’s head (ending in what, he didn’t know) -- but this had to be done.

“This is going to fucking suck,” Bakugou decided.

“I’m surprised you chose to come,” Tsuyu said, never one to mince her words.

Bakugou shoved his hands in his pockets, but said nothing as he watched another car pull in. As he’d left the safe house, he’d made two calls. They didn’t have to come, but Bakugou knew for a fact that he couldn’t do this alone. He was strong in a lot of ways and better than many in others, but even he could admit that he lacked when it came to emotional comfort. And he knew what Deku’s mom was like. She was just as emotional as her son.

When All Might unfolded himself out of the car, Bakugou looked down at his feet. He had to be here, but he would need the other two to actually help with the comforting part. Admitting any sort of weakness was rough, but it was especially difficult after suffering such a painful defeat. Even worse was the fact that they hadn’t been the first people that he’d thought of to do this with him.

“I’m glad you called,” All Might said, somehow looking thinner and more worn down than ever before. “You should not have to do this alone.”

“I…” Bakugou swallowed a lump in his throat. “I didn’t know who to call at first.” His gaze turned into a glower, as if his feet had offended him somehow. “My first thought was Uraraka. She’d be good at this, you know? She’s kind and sweet and good at comforting shit. But she’s gone and I have to tell Deku’s mom that her son kidnapped her.”

All Might put a hand on Bakugou’s shoulder and he didn’t flinch, but he tensed up underneath the touch of his still favorite hero. He’d lost more than Bakugou in this, hadn’t he? Bakugou hated relying on All Might or anyone else. It shouldn’t be like this. He shouldn’t be so weak.

“You know what the real kicker is though?” Bakugou lifted his head and dropped it back so that he could look at the sky. Dark clouds were swelling above them, as if the mood was contagious to the weather. A storm was about to break. It was better than if it was shining. He didn’t think he could handle a sunny day. “I can’t believe I actually fucking thought that I’d want Todoroki around.” He laughed coldly and maybe a little bit hysterically. When that Half and Half Bastard had first crossed his mind, he’d almost wrecked the car in shock and irritation. “Deku’s mom adored them both and I thought, ‘I wish Todoroki was here to do this.’ What is wrong with me?”

“This is a very trying time for all of us,” All Might told him gently. He hated being spoken to like that and shrugged out from underneath the former hero’s hand. It didn’t seem to offend him though. “We’re all processing this as best as we can, but it’s difficult. Midoriya meant a lot to all of us in different ways.”

“That shitty Deku…” Bakugou growled and even worse was that he knew he didn’t really mean it. He hadn’t meant it for a long time, but old habits died hard.

“I’m proud of you for coming here,” All Might said. Back in the day, those words might have meant something, but now they just made Bakugou feel hollow. What was there to be proud of?

A terrible feeling swelled up inside Bakugou to the point that he felt himself getting overwhelmed, like it might swallow him whole. “I had to come. I had to…” He rubbed his face with his hands. “We’re only here because of me. Because of my weakness. If it wasn’t for that, none of this would’ve happened.”

All Might frowned. “Bakugou, you did everything you could to stop him--”

“That’s not it!” Bakugou snapped. The dark shadow that rested in the back of his mind threatened to take over, as it always did when he thought back to that night eleven months ago. The one that whispered that he didn’t deserve to be a hero, the one that was clawing its way back to the surface and breaking pieces from him. “Back when Deku jumped to stop that villain and Uraraka yelled at me to throw her to him, I hesitated. I fucking hesitated. Do you understand? She missed him by inches, by seconds -- because I wasted time. I don’t even remember why. She had to yell at me to snap out of it and then I threw her as hard as I could, but it was too late.”

“Midoriya’s...death was not your fault,” All Might said, his face sad as he soaked in the shame radiating from Bakugou. They couldn’t save everyone. As students, they had been told that right from the start. When they were heroes, they wouldn’t be able to save everyone. And for Bakugou, that person had been Deku. When it counted the most, he didn’t do it. He’d questioned everything and in the few seconds he’d held back all had been lost.

“Are you sure?” Bakugou threw back. “If I hadn’t hesitated, chances are Deku would be alive. None of this shit would be happening. I bet he and Uraraka would be engaged, talking about kids, all that stupid domestic shit that they dreamed about.” He felt sick. This was a bad idea. He never should’ve come. “We wouldn’t be here, off to tell a kind as hell woman that the only family she had left, her only son, has been alive this whole time and is now a villain who will destroy an entire block because he’s jealous or just been told to.”

His whole body sagged under the weight of everything. He had mentioned to Uraraka what felt like a lifetime ago that Deku’s death might’ve been his fault for not aiming her right when he’d thrown her over the ocean to save Deku. It was like she didn’t remember him staring back at her with wide eyes like he hadn’t heard her yelling at him to throw her. When she had said it, all he could think was that she and Deku would both die and it was storming so violently and he couldn’t think because Deku was falling and he--

“None of this is your fault,” All Might told him fiercely.

He had lost someone again because of weakness or hesitation. It was a low blow. Bakugou expected that Deku knew that and was letting the bitter wound fester inside of Bakugou to weaken him further.

“Whatever.” Bakugou jerked away from them and their too-kind eyes. He shoved the shame to the side, hiding behind his usual walls again. He’d gotten onto everyone about letting their guilt consume them and here he was doing it out in public. He turned and started for the building. “Let’s just do this. I’ve got to get to UA to meet everyone else.”

Even though he headed that way first, by the time they reached the Midoriya residence, Bakugou was hanging in the back behind All Might and Tsuyu. They would have much more soothing faces than the scowl that he was trying to wipe off his face. The second the door opened, they were all greeted with Ink Midoriya’s red tear-stained face and she burst into a fresh set of tears, throwing her arms around All Might.

Somehow, they all made it inside with All Might guiding Deku’s mom back to the couch. The television was on, the video playing in the background as multiple news people, hero fans, and villain experts debated over it. Thank everything the volume was turned off, most likely because she couldn’t what was being said about her son, but Bakugou searched for the remote to turn it off while Tsuyu made them tea. She didn’t need to watch it anymore. Already he could tell that it had been too much.

He had thought that All Might looked frail, but it was nothing compared to Deku’s mom right now.

“Wh-what happened t-to m-my sweet boy?” she cried through the tears, her face pressed against All Might’s bony shoulder as she clung to the material of his sleeve. Her whole body shook with sobs as the tears poured down her face, so much like Deku. It was a wonder that she had any tears left to cry or she hadn’t completely dehydrated herself. The floor was littered with crumpled up tissues. “I-I thought h-he was d-dead!”

There was really nothing that they could be said. All Might looked as much at a loss as Bakugou felt, but at least All Might was holding onto her and giving her the physical support that she needed, even if it did look like she might break him if she held onto him too tightly. Tsuyu walked back in with tea and nudged it in the older woman’s direction. It wasn’t much, but it did provide a small distraction, if only for a second.

“It c-can’t be him, can it?” Mrs. Midoriya whimpered, staring down at the tea. “It-It’s not him. He wouldn’t… He couldn’t…”

The cup began to rattle so violently in her hands that Bakugou was certain it was going to spill tea all over her, so he reached over to take it from her and set it down on the table. She startled and stared up at him, as if suddenly realizing that he was there. It had been a long time since he’d seen her, but the last she’d seen him had been on that video where he had been fighting against her son with the clear intent to subdue him by any means necessary.

“It’s him,” Bakugou told her in a low voice, unable to lie to her. He should’ve been softer about it -- should have been kinder somehow -- be he didn’t know how. Lying to her was too cruel besides. She deserved to know the truth. Maybe not all of it, but some at least. She didn’t need to know that her son had killed people. Bakugou was an asshole, but he wasn’t completely cold-hearted. That would destroy her. And Deku wouldn’t want that.

“How?” she asked in a pained voice so similar to the one Deku had used on him days ago when talking about their history. “How could this have happened? He’s… He was such a good boy...” She turned her gaze to All Might. “All he ever wanted to be was just like you. This… This isn’t him.” She looked back at Bakugou. “You knew him. You’ve known him all his life. He’s kind. He’s sweet. He’s good. What happened? Why?”

Because I failed him, that voice in the back of his mind whispered.

He squashed it down viciously and admitted, “We don’t know much. It looks like a group of villains found him before our search efforts could and…” His mouth was dry, but he didn’t make a move to grab the one of the other teas that Tsuyu had brought. He glanced down, noting the way that Mrs. Midoriya was clinging to Tsuyu’s hands with one of her own now. “They did something to his mind. A villain with some sort of brainwashing quirk. He still remembers us, so it’s not amnesia or anything like that, but it’s like everything is twisted around.”

It was a piss poor explanation to a mother who probably felt like she’d lost her child all over again. A vicious streak of anger tore through Bakugou in that moment. How could Deku do this? He hadn’t even mentioned his mother yet and they all knew how much Deku had loved and adored her. The only thing Bakugou could think was that Deku was trying to keep her out of it. There could be no ill feelings towards the woman that had raised him on her own, protected him, loved him, believed in him. It would be best to leave her alone. At least Bakugou hoped.

Mrs. Midoriya pulled her hands away from Tsuyu and All Might so she could fiddle with them. The tears had mostly dried, but Bakugou thought it was most likely because she had simply run out. “What about Ochako?” Her eyes dropped down to her hands. “I saw that he…” She chewed on her bottom lip. “Izuku wouldn’t hurt her. He loved… He loves her. He wanted to marry her, you know? But they both had their hero careers and he was worried that they were too young…” She lifted her hands, shielding her face. “I can’t believe this is happening. Izuku is a hero. Why would someone do this to him?”

All Might sighed next to her. “He carries an immense power within him. They must seek to exploit it through him and it appears as if they have used his love for Uraraka in some part to manipulate him.”

Deku’s mom must have known about One for All then. She pulled her hands away from her face and nodded her head in miserable understanding. What he didn’t understand was the guilt on her face, as if she thought it was her fault that she’d let him get into a vulnerable position. Bakugou knew damn well that no one could tell Deku what to do in the end once he put his mind to something. The nerd had found a way to get a quirk and become a hero, something unheard of before.

“But you can get him back, can’t you?” she asked, a fearful hope shining in her eyes that were so like Deku’s. It was unnerving to look her in the eyes when all he could think about was the way Deku’s eyes had looked before he had vanished into the warp gate with his arm around Uraraka’s shoulder and then when he had been holding the knife. “You said he’s being brainwashed by a quirk, so there be a way to save him.” She picked up a photo frame that had been lying face on the table, gazing over it fondly before she lifted her eyes to Bakugou’s. “You can save him, right? Him and Ochako and Todoroki… You can bring him back.”

It felt like there was a rock in Bakugou’s throat and it was slowly making its way down to the pit of his stomach. His eyes glimpsed the picture she was holding -- her and a three year-old Deku smiling cheesily at the camera while he wore his favorite All Might costume pajamas, still happy and excited because he didn’t know yet that he was quirkless -- and his stomach dropped.

Nonetheless, Bakugou raised his eyes back to her and nodded his head jerkily. “I’ll get them back -- all of them -- and I will save Deku.” His voice was as firm as ever and he hoped his eyes looked the same, but a part of him felt jarred by this moment more than anything else. He knew that she wasn’t placing all her hopes on his shoulders, but as someone that tried to outpace everyone on his own first, it certainly felt like it. “If it’s the last thing I do, I’m bringing them home.”

Deku’s mom jumped to her feet and moved around the table so that she could throw her arms around him. She was small like Uraraka and he could feel her tears wet his shirt. At first, he stood there stiffly, letting her hug him and then he could’ve sworn that he heard Uraraka gently urging him forward, telling him what to do. His arms moved slowly of their own accord until finally he returned the hug.

“I’m sorry, Bakugou,” she cried against his shirt. “I’m sorry I can’t do more. I feel so weak. He’s out there… My boy is out there and I keep wondering if there was something more I could’ve done, but I don’t know what.” She pulled away from him slightly and had to tilt her head to look him in the face. He honestly didn’t know what he looked like right now. All he felt was slightly stunned and numb in this moment. “You are so brave that it’s hard to see how much this is hurting you. I don’t mean to put more on your shoulders, but if anyone can save them…”

In that moment, Bakugou couldn’t speak if he tried. He wasn’t used to this, not from his family or anyone else. The only ones that came close were Kirishima and Uraraka. This woman looked so much like Deku or he looked like her. In a way, they sounded like each other too, although Deku’s mom was clearly more afraid and softer somehow. Had he inherited anything from his father?

Bakugou didn’t understand how she could be so kind or so caring with someone she had to have known was cruel to her son for years. Their friendship had been one that so very clearly involved a power imbalance that Bakugou had taken glee out of whenever he thought Deku was looking down on him despite being quirkless. What was it that Deku had said? That his mother had been forced to mend clothes that Bakugou had destroyed with his quirk or sometimes throw them out altogether and buy him new ones? They hadn’t been wealthy, especially not when his mom became a single parent.

It struck Bakugou suddenly that he didn’t even know when Deku’s dad had left, either unable and not wanting to deal with the embarrassment of having a quirkless child, something that Bakugou had often rubbed in Deku’s face with his own. Surely his mother had known that he was being bullied, even if Deku had never talked about it outright. And yet she here she was, bleeding comfort into him, giving him a tremulous smile and looking at him like he was filled with hope and good.

That terrible wave of emotions that he’d been bottling up since Deku’s death crashed over him and it was too much for him to deal with in front of other people.

“I have to go,” Bakugou found himself saying, his voice thick with emotion, and he peeled out of her grip. She didn’t look surprised or hurt, seeming to understand that he needed to get away. Without looking at All Might or Tsuyu, he turned on his heels and walked out of the apartment. The second the breeze from the oncoming storm hit him, a wave of nausea struck him and he put a hand over his eyes and took a few deep breaths to stop it.

How could she be so good? How could she believe in him so much? How could she be so loving when so much of the world had turned its back on her and her son? It was like dealing with Deku all over again. Bakugou knew that it was kindness now -- that a smile was not a sneer -- that a hug was not a belief of weakness. But it still stung.

He dropped his hand at his side and stared out into the cloudy sky. I wish Uraraka was here, was the only clear thought in the tangled mess of his mind.

The door opened behind him and Bakugou wiped away any semblance of emotion from his face. He felt like he was trying to imitate Todoroki, but he had never been good at completely blank expressions. There was always something showing in his eyes. Tsuyu came out alone and shut the door behind herself, saying,. “All Might is going to stay here with her for a while longer. She needs it. There’s a little more to explain and I think he wants her to come stay at UA.”

“Good,” Bakugou said flatly, “she shouldn’t be alone.”

Tsuyu eyed him carefully, which only made Bakugou scowl and start down the stairs. He didn’t need her analyzing him or thinking that she knew how he felt. “You’re allowed to show grief, you know,” she told him as she followed him down. “You don’t have to always be angry.”

“I am angry,” Bakugou snapped like a whip. “I’m pissed.”

“You’re scared, too.”

Bakugou rounded on her sharply. “I’m not fucking scared.”

Of course Tsuyu didn’t back down. She merely blinked, standing face-to face with him since she was three steps above him. “You’re scared for Uraraka.” And damn her if she wasn’t right, but Bakugou didn’t want to admit that. He didn’t want to bring up the fact that he could barely sleep because he didn’t even know how she was sleeping. Was she in a bed? A cot in a cell? A cold floor? Deku wouldn’t allow that, would he? Out of his mind as he was, he wanted her to be happy as safe. Right? “You do a good job hiding it, but it’s in your eyes. Every now and then, you’ll glance around, like you’re looking for her, and then you get this look when you start thinking about it.”

“Would you stop?” Bakugou demanded, instantly hating how needy he sounded.

“Stop what?” Tsuyu asked, tilting her head.

Bakugou waved his hands in the air. “Stop analyzing me. I fucking hate it. I don’t need you trying to get into my head, okay? I’ve got enough things to worry about.”

“I’m just saying that you don’t need to deal with this alone,” Tsuyu responded, so infuriatingly nice. And this was why he didn’t hang around her a ton. She had next to no filter and even worse was that she was right most of the time. It was annoying. “We’re all trying to cope with this together. It’s not healthy for you to do it on your own, especially when you have such a huge role in this.”

“Yeah, apparently my role is to fail repeatedly so everyone gets hurt,” Bakugou ground out bitterly. He didn’t mean to admit any of this out loud and he was angry with himself for doing so earlier. He shouldn’t have said any of that stuff about his hesitating and Deku’s death, at least not in front of Tsuyu or All Might. It would’ve been better had he told Kirishima, but no, Bakugou had kept it to himself until he couldn’t. He’d half-assed told Uraraka, but hadn’t wanted to burden her more than she already had been with it being Deku’s birthday.

“That’s what I’m talking about,” Tsuyu sighed. “If you’d talked with the others, you would know that isn’t the case. No one sees you as a failure except yourself.” She frowned at him, which was a look that a lot of people fixed him with but seemed particularly bad these days. “It’s holding you back instead of pushing you forward.”

Stomping down the rest of the way down the stairs, Bakugou grumbled, “Couldn’t I say the same thing for you? I haven’t seen you crying or anything. Uraraka was your best friend and you were close with Deku.”

“I know better than to cry in front of you,” Tsuyu said. “You’d just call it a waste of time.”

Well she was right about that. It was a waste of time. The closest he’d come to doing it in a while had been when Uraraka and Todoroki had been taken. He’d settled for screaming it out, but tears had burned his eyes. Some of them might have fallen to the ground and down his cheeks, but it hadn’t been full on crying. He wouldn’t lie and say that he’d never cried before, but he was an angry crier. And as furious as he had been, sorrow and fear had been more prevalent once the warp gate closed.

“Whatever. Let’s just get to UA.” Bakugou pressed the button to unlock his car and then pulled the door open. Time to speed like hell out of here. Back to pedal to the metal mode. “Hopefully they’ve come up with something.”

At this point, anything would be an improvement. He had to do something. It had been too long. He needed to find them more than anything.

#katsuki bakugou #izuku midoriya #aizawa shouta #inko midoriya #bnha #all might #hitoshi shinsou #tsuyu asai #mha #villain deku au #villain deku #villain izuku #boku no hero academia #my hero academia #ochako uraraka #shoto todoroki #anime #izuocha #kacchako #ochadeku #the things of songs

[thegreatyin]

U.04 Thoughts...basically a review/reaction. But also not. Because I'm a sarcastic narcissist.

So- I- WOW.

I HAVE A LOT OF FEELINGS RN

OH. MY GOD.

(spoilers ahead, be warned!)

(Also, I wrote this on my Kindle Fire, so expect spelling mistakes.)

(Also, this is vry long yes™, so it's under the cut. Read at your own risk.)

First off, I'm gonna clarify - this is my thoughts on the FIRST VIEWING. I'm gonna re-watch it later and think about stuff more then. I haven't watched it a single time after the first, because I needed to write this.

Second...

Ink was portrayed BRILLIANTLY in this episode. This is EXACTLY what he is- only in it for his own entertainment/benefit. He is Chaotic Neutral at best, and Chaotic Evil at worst. And here? He's at his worst. Straight up ELIMINATING the rest of the Multiverse, breaking the natural order of things- all because he was bored. Goddamn, I love/hate that asshole.

I gotta give props to the animation, as well- it was gorgeous. Jakei is an EXCELLENT animator, and this episode was WORTH the wait. I actually paused the episode at certain points just to appreciate how a character breathed, or how good they looked.

While the humor wasn't a prime focus, one always has to give it a HUGE shoutout. The joy, of course, usually came from my own squeals at Error's usual crazy reactions to things (imsorryilovehim) but there were also times where I took a break from my sobs just to laugh hysterically. Lots of them, in fact.

Enough praises though, lets give it a rundown. Skipping over the part that was previewed, we start in Underwap, with X-Tale Alphys. Now, what I noticed here is that Code Frisk seemed a bit surprised at all this- but I'll put that down to out-of-ut shenanigans. Anyway, X-Tale Alphys somehow uses one of the X-Tale TIMELINES to 'quarantine' Underswap, that's the main thing. Here, we also get an explanation for why Papyrus didn't come with them...there wasn't any point to it. Which is kinda a grim start for the episode, if you ask me.

Skimming over the Underfell bit- I don't have much to talk about there, surprisingly - lets discuss Nightmare and Killer and X-Tale Chara. Nightmare got a few chuckles out of me here, I have to say. Mainly from the look he gave Chara after they wanted to get the vial. It was the perfect embodiment of 'dude wtf' 

I find it interesting here that Nightmare says that he 'owns' Chara. I mean- once they get to full power, they could just OVERWRITE him away.

Then again, it won't happen if he kills Chara first. Which he plainly can, dear Lord.

Now, what REALLY gets me in this scene is what Killer said. Because they took Classic's soul, they interfered with the UT Universe, thus making a ripple effect across all the timelines connected to it. This way, Killer knew EXACTLY what was going down.

This makes me wonder- does that mean, currently, all the Sanses in the Multiverse will be aware of the X-Event? Or just the ones closely intertwined with the main UT universe, like Killer's? It's a shame they never touch more on this, I personally find it fascinating.

Anyway, we finally make our way to Outertale, where we stay for almost all of the remaining episode. Here, the Sanses, Swap, Fell, and Sans, decide that they're done with Ink's bullshit. They want to go home, and they miss their brothers.

Unfortunately, Ink went missing, because he's a little shit that can't stay in one place like a good boy. So Classic has to take a break from his beautiful, busy hair-brushing and babysit this douche. AKA, go find him.

While looking, Classic finds a meteor shower, which...has no real importance. I'm not even sure why I included it, it's just a nice moment. Followed up by a fart joke.

Long story short, Sans encounters Outer, who is actually really fucking chill??? And I love?????? Him?????????? So much????????????????

Skipping ahead a bit, Nightmare attempts to force-feed Chara some poor monster's soul, but Chara can't eat that shit. You know what they can eat? Their soul! That's right - Glitchlord, aka ERROR, is here to find Ink and beat the crap out of him.

Little personal note- I love how he goes from basically 0 to 100 in a second. "Sup Nightmare, WHERE THE FUCK IS INK."

Turns out, Ink isn't feeling things, because not even Nightmare, who can sense emotions, can find him. Which means that Ink didn't take his pills today- naughty boy.

It's a shame we don't get more of Outer, tbh- I really liked him. That's definitely one of this episode's flaws. Alas, Killer has to kill SOMETHING, otherwise his name means literally nothing.

Skipping ahead, since I, again, don't have much to say about anything else- the Error and Ink fight.

DEAR LORD, THE ERROR AND INK FIGHT.

This thing is BEAUTIFUL. It's basically a game of keep-away between a grumpy glitchlord, a mad artist, and a smol anger child. Because that's what it is- and it gave me CHILLS. Mainly Ink. He gives me chills. How he looks, the way he can effortlessly throw down everyone WITHOUT his brush, the cut Error gave him- this is what he really is, at heart. Or should I say, without one.

The fight pauses so Ink can give a speach, and now? Now, we have CONTEXT.

Record Scratch.

Freeze frame.

That context.

Ink did this all because he was going to be empty without new AUs. He sided with X-Gaster because he needed something new. Something interesting. Something to fill the emptiness that is eternally there, he did it because he was bored, he did this all to have something new, he did it to play a game that would never end- and I'll fight you on it, that is the most human thing he's done, ever. Period. Never again, I show ship Ink and X-Gaster, we're calling it Creation, you can't stop me, it's sailed, and I'm the captain.

But, you ask, why did he have to be soulless to do it? Because he would otherwise feel guilty about leaving behind Cross- a genuine FRIEND. And if that also isn't the most human thing to do, if you can find a better example I'll write a bad Jerry X Reader fanfic.

(I'm not joking. I will, please pm me if you find something.)

Anyway, the real takeaway here is that Ink successfully summons Satan, AKA X-Gaster. And he proceeds to murder everyone, shove Error in the Anti-Void for being bad, give Ink's brush back, shove Classic back into UT, kill the AUs (no, actually, Error did that, but shh-) and make Cross...come back?

Horray! Start the victory parade!

...but not really. Because, from what I can tell(?), almost everyone is in a 'Quarantine ' zone, probably to wait while Ink and the X-Tale crew break bread and make their new world. Infact, from what I can tell, the only people besides them who aren't there are Error (who's having a fit in the AV), Cross, Dream, Fresh, and Nightmare and Killer, but those last two might just be around because Nightmare blends in with the background WAY too much.

x-Faster leaves, giving Cross the option to join him, and...I hope he doesn't. I pray he doesn't.

But enough of that. Let's talk about 'Valiant Heart' for a second, huh ~?

(Putting a break to pretend like I'm organized)

Tbh, I actually thought that Dream would DIE in this scene. Really - Nightmare saw a chance to get rid of a KNOWN thorn in his side, and he took it. Luckily, Cross saved him, and they both escaped...

But this scene has other things to talk about. First off, it's beautiful. This is the only thing in Underverse (so far/as far as I know) that isn't fully animated, instead shone in quick images and only having GORGEOUS song lyrics. I LOVE this part, and it might just be my favorite out of the whole episode.

Although..... I'm 25% percent sure that Dream and Cross went to X-Tale to hide, and Nightmare and Killer are now left alone in the black space that used to be the Doodle Sphere. Do they stay there? Is Nightmare's castle still existing?? This is like Killer's line at the start- I want insight to this.

For the sake of keeping this (long) thing short, I'm gonna end here, but...wow. Things are BLEAK rn. I can't even theorize any good possibilities - I'm shook. What a way to end an arc.

....or, should I say, what a way to start one~?

#undeevee #asfzasfzgaasfzasfzgajdgej #yolo #i have #FEELINGS #underverse #long post #yin theorizes #ink sans #error sans #dream sans #nightmare sans #swap sans #cross #just cross #killer sans #outer sand #Im not tagging all those days #*AYA #AU #I FUCKING MEANT- #ugugh forget it

[pastorcowboy]

For Pete sake

It’s hot out. I get it. Oh, we broke a record temperature in Calgary. It was 36.1. Wow!!! We hit 36.2. Even a bigger wow as we beat 1919 and 1933 (by 0.1). Record global warming in their day too. There was 14 years between those scorching hot traumatic days. I am stunned where still here. I bet the weather is getting warmer and warmer. Wait a minute, it has been 85 years since we torched that record by 0.1 degree.

Ok, maybe it’s an over statement but all day today people posted the warmest day ever. The thermometer was discovered in 1850. So, records only go back 168 years. So, when we say it’s the hottest day ever were really saying in the last 168 years. Of all time? Well that is up to tree rings and glacier lines. I am sure Jesus mentioned Global warming somewhere in the Bible. I bet Galileo made some sort of observation on the horrific weather patterns in his day.

This exaggeration thing is getting to me. I’m slightly old at 52. I have encountered hot summers. I have endured very cold winters too. The two days I delivered mail in -49 don’t seem to be records. Companies are putting a price on the affects of global warming. Those prices hit how much we pay. Governments are taxing people to get a handle on this epic impending disaster. Were getting poorer but I don’t think were winning. Yet, it’s hard to fight a war that might not exist.

This over reaction is killing me. Why not just let people go for it? I’m all for keeping the earth clean. I worry about pollution, over population, and war. I do my part recycling. Global footprint? I don’t know. One movie star said to use one sheet of toilet paper per visit. I am not sure that would work. Another person said if you need a towel after a shower means you used too much water. This generation is insane.

What does God have to say? Jesus said in Matthew 24:6 “And ye shall hear of wars and rumors of wars: see that ye be not troubled: for all these things must come to pass, but the end is not yet.” Yet, there was a group gathering in Edmonton this weekend protesting the round earth theory. They believe the world is flat and the rich want us to believe its round. They also said that we can’t fall off the edge because it’s blocked. Who blocked it? Is gravity real? Will global warming make the world go square?

Jesus was not stupid. He knew the rumors of impending doom would happen over and over. This global heat wave is just another in the long line of weather changes. It’s headlines. It’s naive people that don’t care to know the truth. They love the sensational. They thrive on the tweets and texts. Just think about the number 168 for a minute. How many ice ages have happened before 168 years? How many earthquakes and tsunamis? How many wars, revolutions, hurricanes, and fires? How about meteors striking the earth? Sensationalized means 168 years. Oooh, I’m scared, afraid, frightened, and running for cover.

Here is my thought. What if we break a cold record next year? Big deal? The reason heat works is because it fits the global warming thing. Cold days are bad news for those experts. Plant a tree or build a house for the poor. Should we grow grass or save water? The ultimate conundrum. I listened to a show on feeding the poor. It’s easier to kill off the poor than feed them. Less mouths works. It’s morbid. Yet, we are tossing billions into global warming? Have we conquered the starving world? Uh, no.

History proves we love to parade ourselves. I believe, I know, and these days I certainly have the answer. Yet, year after year we read the headlines and vote in the promises. Yet, have we really gone anywhere? In the French revolution they say the poor revolted and killed the rich. Read your history. The rich didn’t lose. The power just shifted from one rich to another. The poor remained.

Hottest day on record? Bla, bla, bla. The Poor don’t give a rat’s ass do they, should they? Jesus also said we will always have the poor. It appears we will always have the over stated, over blown, and vastly over sensationalized headlines that make someone richer than the day before. Our focus is like guided sheep. Tell them what’s wrong. Take their money and tell them well fix it. Solve world problems? No if it takes money from the rich. So, talk more about global warming as you pass by the homeless you never saw.

#weather #heat #summer #global warming #sensations #exaggerated