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catastrophe-at-sixteen · 3 years

Text

strawberries and cigarettes (m)

Jungkook x reader

“For a biology project, you and your class are going on a field trip to collect evidence for your hypothesis. It is all going well until the dark haired nuisance called Jeon Jungkook decides to piss you off.”

Also - a nerd. The resident bad boy. The police. Annoying friends. A loose psycho killer. What could go wrong?

This is my first time ever uploading any fics !! im super nervous haha - i'll probably post a little of each one and see how it goes !!

Jungkook x reader.

This is your classic enemies to lovers but with a slight little twist!

This is set in the 80s/90s and is your typical bad boy/nerd girl trope- but , there is a killer on the loose. I mean this is kind of based on jack the ripper (serial killer) and my teenage fantasies of falling for bad boy jungkook. I hope you’ll give it a go and tell me what you think !!! <3

Tw : cursing, killings, descriptions of death and psychopaths, masturbation , making out, smut.

WC : 11K

also a big massive thank you to @ggukkiereads for helping me gain the confidence to write and dedicate time to finishing this ! ik its been a while since we spoke but much love to u angel <3 may u always have the best !

Begrudgingly the students lag off the bus at 10pm, finally having reached their destination.

Tired and sore from their journey the teachers find no trouble in distributing bedrooms for everyone.

When your name is called out along with Tiffany you internally groan - great you think one of the most plastic girls in the school all to myself.

You grimace but make no argument as you could have gotten worse you suppose.

As you grab your belongings and ignore her protests that she doesn't want to room with a loser like you, a dark clad figure pushes past you, almost tripping you over.

Angrily you shout

"Watch where you're going you prick"!

Yet he doesn't so much look in your direction.

Under the dim moonlight you can faintly make out the low blunt of a cigarette in a tattoo clad hand - so it was the infamous Jungkook.

Honestly you didn't understand why all the girls fawned over him when he was just a rude and ignorant asshole. Sure, he had a pretty face but no good soul to match.

Calming yourself, as it was unlikely that you'd ever receive an apology from the school rebel you just head to your new room.

The school had organised a biology trip so that you could gather authentic evidence on the correlation of birds and wood growth in a certain designated area and honestly you were excited- not having enough expenses to get out of town when you were younger meant that this was a treat for you and paired with you being a biology major your inner geek was surfacing pretty quickly.

You move into your room and begin unpacking your things ignoring the chatter coming from your new roommates.

You set everything nicely, precisely -just to your liking. Maybe some would call you fussy, but you like to think of yourself as organised and classy.

You don’t have many thoughts that night as you lay down for bed, but you do hear the news playing in the background.

" a killing has not been sighted for a time breaking the pattern of the 1-week intervals in which they have been happening, but police still advise to remain on high alert at all times. "

You shudder as you think about it, a killer on the loose in the country and everyone powerless to stop him.

He fed of the insecurities of people, the fear of not being safe. He did a damn well good job at it as well.

You look outside and see the police on night duty setting up, the country while terrified also was reluctant to admit the threat and instead of protecting you properly they had merely sent police force units as glorified bodyguards to ' keep you safe '.

You sigh, as you climb under your covers those problems seem like a long way away from you as you drift off with an empty mind.

It was morning, the sun was shining brightly through the windows giving an orange glow to the room.

You were up before your roommates, had brushed your teeth and were already preparing for your project.

You had to do well, you were depending on a scholarship for university, your family could simply not afford it otherwise.

When your first signs of morning hunger begin to strike you venture outside your room in order to satiate yourself. You find that it’s still quiet only a few students up like yourself, you find a coffee machine and immediately begin to make one for yourself.

“While you're at it could you make one for me too".

a deep voice drawls out.

You almost jump out of your skin at the sound his voice breaking the silence you had been enjoying. Jeon Jungkook.

You scowl at him, choosing to ignore him carrying on making your own cup.

He whistles under his breath.

“wow, edgy or a bitch? I can’t decide".

He taunts you.

You roll your eyes at him and sigh in annoyance, his eyebrows raise at this.

“you’re clearly not a morning person".

He speaks.

You mutter under your breath.

" or maybe I’m just not a YOU person, not everyone lives to be nice to you. "

He lifts his hands up in a mock surrender.

“Okay, okay I get it it's a bad time for you jeez.... I suppose I'll have to make my own coffee".

He moves closer to you, totally invading your personal space, clearly, he had never heard of a personal bubble! You scowl and try to move away but he’s faster and is hovering over you before you know it. He looks down at you with those pretty dark eyes.

They’re so gorgeous.

Not that it matters to you because he is still an asshole, and he still ruined your morning.

“get out of my face Jeon Jungkook".

You say between clenched teeth.

You’re not some sort of pushover.

Yes, you're clever, as society classes a nerd but you're not one to let people walk all over you.

If he’s shocked, he doesn’t let on, just hums and lets you walk away, which you do, a little aggressively. You got back to your room and let out a sound of annoyance, the girls are still sleeping.

You sigh.

This was going to be a long trip.

After an uneventful morning, the wait was over and finally the teachers had called you to gather in the common area. Much to your dismay however there would be no actual data collecting until the police had secured the area, which meant that your whole day was pretty much wasted. The other students were chatting and gossiping and being idiots as per usual.

It’s not that you thought you were better than them, it's just that they were so mundane, so lifeless. They were just living on with no sense of direction. You suppose that's what you get for attending a school for rich kids though.

You could never fit in.

So, you never tried. People took pity on you every now and then offered you a smile. You smiled back but that was it. Your thoughts are running and to clear your head you decide to go outside for a little breather.

There isn’t much, just a few abandoned train tracks that seemingly lead into nowhere, a few broken fences and lots of grass. Not much time after this you head to bed.

Finally, the day had arrived, you could collect your samples.

You are so glad that it’s an individual project because you honestly cannot even imagine working with one of those air heads.

You shudder at the memory of having to work with Taehyung last semester for a chemistry practical.

You had to basically pull all the weight for your grade.

So, you get on working your way through your work and proving or disproving your hypothesis.

You’re pleased at the work that you completed. Not entirely satisfied but satisfied enough, for now.

You let out a stiff yawn, you need to stretch and need a little fresh air since you had spent the last few hours writing up your data and making graphs to compliment them.

You forgo your jacket since the weather isn’t so bad.

It’s nice.

When you go outside there are quite a few students already there, goofing around. There is also a pretty scenery, that in all honesty you had not appreciated until right now.

“Wow" you mutter under your breath.

Maybe I should try living outside my own head sometimes.

You spot some students surrounding a police officer and the curiosity gets the better of you and your soon wandering around the outskirts of their conversation.

Alas, it was merely a fruitless conversation. The police officer telling the other about his escapades and how they will be good in hands.

You lose yourself to your own thoughts again and look at the scenery. Until a little scuffle, breaks you out of your thoughts.

“What was that? There was a movement down there!! “

A boy called Josh calls out.

The police officer had also noticed it, then a sound of a gunshot sounds through the air.

The police officers curse and begin to get ready to scout the area. They want you all to go away, be safe inside but you’re all young adults- you want to see what’s going on.

Everyone gathers, watching the officers.

You scan the area; you spot the balcony that looks over the area just in front of the cabins.

Perfect you think that’s the perfect spot to see what’s going on.

So, you begin to climb up the steps to that room, when you get there, you can see everything.

You see a dead dog, a dead bird and the gun which had killed them laid out to where the officers were heading.

Fear grips your heart; your heartbeat is erratic. You think you see the shape of figure retreating into the distance but before you can look again, you feel the ground give way under you.

You let out a shriek, feeling yourself falling.

Is this truly how my life end you wonder I didn’t even get to complete my PhD?

Yet, instead of the hard fall that your body had been anticipating; your landing is softer and lets out a low grunt.

You're sure you're dead and have entered heaven.

Slowly you register a warm feeling under your legs and a secure one at your waist.

oh, this feels nice.

you think, eyes still closed until you hear some chaos in the distance.

what's happening?

Why is heaven so noisy? Are they partying because I’ve arrived? Was I actually an angel all this time am I coming home?

Ah you think this must be the angels- I knew all those days spent doing charity would help me.

You open your eyes and you’re met with bambi eyes staring back at you.

Slowly you begin to piece the rest of your angel together.

“Jeon Jungkook? “

You try and raise your voice to compliment your surprise, but it comes out in a more whisper.

“But this, Jungkook, you were an angel all this time? “you say.

His eyebrows knot together in confusion.

“What are you talking about strawberry?”

You gasp.

"Do we all get code names in heaven? You’re a pretty angel Jungkook. “

Then your eyes zero in on the scar on his cheek.

“Aren’t Angel’s supposed to be blemish free? Is that? Are you fallen? Wait.... for me? Are you my angel Jungkook? “

His eyes, which had previously shown confusion are now coloured with amusement.

“You talk a lot don’t you my little strawberry”.

You vaguely hear the sounds behind you before you begin to feel drowsy and fall limp the arms of your unexpected angel.

Jungkook was, of course no angel, your delirious ass was just doing and saying delirious things. You were going to be mortified when you woke up.

When you come to your room in a dark room, tucked into a warm bed. Your headaches aches as if someone is using a sledgehammer to hit it every second.

‘Agh’ you let out a pained groan.

What even happened? you wonder in your head.

You move quickly, getting out of bed ignoring your protesting limbs. You almost reach the doors until a pair of arms trap you.

‘woah woah where do you think you're going?’

You let out a scream, completely startled. A hand comes to cover your mouth.

‘man, you really do have a set of lungs, don’t you? ‘

You stop struggling in his embrace to match his voice to a face. Its familiar.

‘Jeon Jungkook?’ you let a little unsure and panic still evident in your voice.

‘your one and only’

You frown.

‘mine?’

He smirks at you,

‘that's right yours strawberry’.

You shake your head.

‘are you smoking something? Are you high right now?’

He pouts a little then, it changes his look completely. He looks a little cute.

‘you don't remember? ‘ he cocks his head to the side and points to himself. ‘I'm your angel’.

You scoff.

‘Please in what world are YOU an angel? You're far from it’.

Then it all comes back to you.

Jungkook watches as the realisation begins to show on your face.

‘Oh my god I had a concussion, you cannot be serious right now ‘

He chuckles.

'The words still came out of your mouth' Jungkook counters, he leans closer to you, his face way to close for your liking.

You feel your face grow warm from his proximity, but you don't give him the satisfaction of knowing that.

You scoff and push him away.

‘You're insane’.

He accepts the distance you've placed between the two of you and he chooses to smirk at you from where he is standing.

‘And you're crazy for me’.

You let out an incredulous laugh, not believing him.

‘Oh, my lord, please shut up for the sake of my sanity’.

He chuckles at your flustered state and you scramble your brain to find a change of subject.

‘okay whatever now just excuse me because I need to go back to my room’.

You move to begin walking to the door, but his voice halts your movements.

‘This is your room now’.

You whip around to face him.

‘What?! Ha as if Jeon, why would they room us together- were supposed to separate for the opposite genders- which I totally get when you're involved’ you say disbelief painting your voice. You whisper the last part though.

He puts his hands into his pockets and shrugs.

‘Protection?’

You set him a hard stare.

‘Save your lame ass men superiority talks for someone else i am having a severe case of I'm not interested’.

Why the hell would you need Jungkook for protection, it reeks of patriarchy and you hate it.

He shrugs.

‘Listen princess I don't know why either really to be honest but I'm not complaining-’

You don't bother entertaining him for much longer.

This can't be true. You cannot be paired into a room with him. He cannot be your new roommate - heck now tiffany doesn't seem so bad. Flirting asshole, you mutter under your breath as you begin searching for your teacher.

You only learn a bitter truth, due to the collapsing of the room you had to be relocated into another room and the only person without a roommate was Jungkook. They ‘trusted’ you enough that you would be able to handle it and not to do anything you were not supposed to.

‘We trust you, y/n’ was what she had told you.

You spend your time cursing out both her and Jungkook as you gather your belongings to move into your new room.

You're so caught up in your own thoughts that you don't notice a foot that comes out to trip you.

You look up and see the faces of three stupid bitches.

Tiffany Jessica and Irene.

They seemed to consider themselves above everybody else, though you've no idea why. Aside from flawless looks they seemed to live pretty empty life in your eyes. They were living definitions of empty shells walking around.

You get up quietly from the ground, you'll gain nothing from engaging with them, maybe you'd lose a few brainless. You just want to go back and rest - your head is killing you.

But to your disappointment they begin to talk.

‘Well, well well, if it isn't the school's new slut moving into MY boyfriend's room’.

You have to let a little laugh at this. This one is seriously deluded. Jungkook didn't do relationships you knew that. Everybody knew that. They had hooked up about 3 months ago and even though he does his best to ignore her she still insists that he is her boyfriend. It's just pathetic and a bit sad you suppose. Her obvious attraction to him which he just does not reciprocate.

She becomes enraged at your actions.

‘listen here you little bitch you better not even think of starting anything with my man-’ she spits out at you.

You snap back then, unable to hold your tongue.

‘I am not a slut, and I will not go after your man- which fyi he is not. He is a human and he doesn’t belong to you he never has’

She grows red at your words.

‘you little piece of shit-’

She raises her hand but just then a voice interrupts her and she halts her actions.

‘well if it isn't my new roomie, l’ll take that from you strawberry’ Jungkook says, too cheery for your liking, your still contemplating hitting Jessica.

Jessica begins speaking up, but he ignores her turning to you.

Your mouth almost drops open at his dismissal of Jessica but then again, she is annoying, and he cannot be immune to that.

‘Jungkoooook’ she whines when he doesn’t respond to her the first time.

He still doesn’t entertain her.

He moves to take your things from you, but she speaks again, latching onto his arm.

‘just leave her -cshe's just an annoying stuck-up bitch’.

He responds to this under his breath laughing.

‘reminds me of someone ’

She doesn't understand his comment.

‘huh?’ she says almost comically.

‘who baby?’ she pouts at him ‘my poor baby having to deal with such people, just leave with me and we can-’

‘no’ he sets her with a hard stare.

It's like she has forgotten that you're there, so you decide to use this to your advantage, letting Jungkook deal with them. You move to get your suitcase, but a hand stops yours. Its Jungkook.

‘I don’t think so strawberry - I'll be getting those for you’.

You turn to look at him scowl adorning your features.

‘I don’t need your help Jeon’.

He smirks at you.

‘no no - I insist’.

He dismisses Jessica with a wave of his hand and begins to walk away your suitcase in his hand, which prompts you to follow along.

‘What. Was. That. Jungkook?!’ you say when the door closes, you’re fuming because he had made it seem as though you were dating or doing things together which meant that they would keep bothering you, which is just something that you don’t want.

He turns around to face you.

‘oh, don’t get your panties in such a twist, I just needed to get the fuck away from her’.

He sounds angry and this is the Jungkook that you are more accustomed to. Not the flirty one you have been seeing. Hopefully he had given up on whatever he was trying to achieve with that. He was a rude asshole who was just to used to seeing things come out in his favour.

‘excuse me, you just fuelled her whack ass thoughts and next time don’t use me as your escape route’ you say matching his hostile tone.

‘oh, don’t be such a priss, it saved you as much as it saved me’.

An exasperated noise escapes your throat.

‘well maybe you should have kept it in your pants lover boy’.

He sets you with a hard stare.

‘oh, shut up - you don’t know me’ he grits out.

You cock your head to the side much like he had done to you earlier in the day.

‘hmmm I think I know you pretty well Jungkook, you're not as unreadable as you like to think, Jeon Jungkook the infamous bad boy who uses girls to fuel his ego and is used by girls to fuel their own ego and status quo among their own stupid--’

You do not get to finish you sentence however because you're harshly being pinned to the door. His grip on you is hard and it stings but you meet his gaze.

‘shut the fuck up y/n’ the tone of his voice is almost carnal, animal like.

You seriously had hit a nerve.

‘I go beyond your perceptions of me- you little miss goody two shoes’.

You spit back in his face.

‘I've yet to see you act more like a crazed rabbit Jungkook and to be honest I don’t plan on finding out the depths of your character either. I don’t fucking care about you’.

You push him aside and move to unpack your suitcase.

He mutters something under his breath that you can't hear, and he walks out slamming the door behind him.

‘well, that was fun’ you say and begin to take out your notes and books that you will need through the day.

When you wake up the next you feel like you’ve been hit by a ton of bricks. The painkillers had given you the illusion that you were okay. You look a mess, you're tired, you cannot believe that this happened. You had been looking forward to this for so long, they had told you that another student would be collecting your data. Your new roommate. Jeon Jungkook. He was going to be collecting your data.

This is preposterous! He would probably sabotage you on purpose! This cannot happen, but they wouldn’t budge from their choice. You huff as you look out of the window, where you could be collecting your data along with the other students. Darn you and your curiosity.

They always did say didn’t they- that curiosity killed the cat.

Your walking around the room, pacing- that’s how bored you are. You had reorganised your things 3 times and colour coded all you notes, redrew your graphs, you had done everything that you thought would keep you busy but here you are sitting with nothing to do. You look around the room see Jungkook's things laying on the ground.

You sigh into the empty room again and just lay down waiting for them to come back. You end up falling asleep.

You're stirred from your sleep, quite rudely by a book being thrown at the foot of your bed. You sit up, still groggy and look at Jungkook.

‘what the hell man’

He stares at you blankly.

‘There's your work priss’

You're not bothered by his hostile tone instead open the book and seeing what he had done, or you suppose looking at it what he had not done. The more you look at the work the more the frown on your face deepens.

‘what the hell is this Jungkook?’

He looks up at you annoyed.

‘the work? Thought you were meant to be a genius?’

You scowl at him.

‘this Jungkook? Is unacceptable a nursery kid could do way better than this !’

He rolls his eyes at you.

‘and? That’s what you're going to get priss so deal with it’.

You make an exasperated sigh.

‘you've used the wrong measurement and everything Jungkook’.

‘look - I don’t care. I didn’t want to do this for you anyway’.

‘like I wanted YOU to do it for me’.

You sigh,

You keep bumping into him everywhere, you know he is your roommate but he is always there at the cafeteria taking the last donut which you had been craving pushing in line, making unnecessary comments and he makes the room so messy!

It’s the same thing for the next few outings, Jungkook comes with the same half assed versions of the data you need.

You try, you really you try so hard to use the data sets he provided but its no use. They're absolutely useless, so you decide to take matters into your own hands.

Your going to sneak out early in the morning, you have to sneak past the guards which as you’ve gathered won't be as hard as one may think because they are not good or much invested in their job anyway.

You prepare yourself and head to set out in the morning. You quietly get up so as not to disturb or wake Jungkook. If he sees you, you know that there will be trouble.

You throw on a hoodie and grab a notebook, a pen and your watch. You have to be back before anyone can notice that you're gone. You steel yourself one last time, giving yourself a pep talk and sneak out. You hold your breath as you walk past the room of your supervisor and out the back door of the cabins.

This isn't so bad you think. Once you're out of sight of the guards and you think your safe, you let out a sigh of relief and do a little shimmy out of your happiness. You are so pleased and proud of yourself. What you didn’t know that behind you, watching your every move was a boy covered in tattoos with a cigarette in his hand watching you with an amused face.

Jungkook was, not as you thought asleep when you had snuck out. He was also outside, leaning on the side of the building a cigarette in his hand, he couldn’t sleep that night, it happened to him on most nights so he routinely wakes up to have a smoke. On this particular day there is not the usual eerie morning silence that he is used to, but a few grunts and hisses to accompany it. He furrows his brows.

Is that? He thinks y/n!?!?!?!?!?

No way he thinks what the hell is she up to?

Then he catches sight of your notebook and pen.

'Oh, what a nerd' he mutters under his breath. Then he smirks.

He can totally use this to his advantage.

He stubs his cigarette, pulls his hoodie over his head and follows you.

Your heart is still racing you honestly cannot believe that you. l/n f/n are doing this.

‘What a badass’ you say into the silence.

‘Badass? Sneaking out to do bloody work is your idea of badass?’ a voice speaks up behind you.

You shriek startled and are met with Jungkook.

Why is it always him?

‘what in the bloody tarnation's.... are you trying to kill me Jungkook?!’ you say putting your hand on your heart.

He grins pleased at the reaction he had elicited from you.

He cocks his head to the side.

‘what the hell are you doing here ?!’ you hiss at him.

‘could ask you the same thing strawberry’ he replies.

You look at him.

You were so sure that you had been quiet, how could he be here to ruin everything.

‘you do realise that I actually have name, and it's not strawberry’ you say to him.

He shrugs.

‘Yeah but you always smell like them’.

You scoff;

‘and you always reek of cigarettes.’

He frowns but then asks you again.

‘what are you doing here?’

You think of excuses,

‘I'm - I'm on a walk’ you say.

He lifts his eyebrow up.

‘a walk?’

You nod.

‘that's right for my daily exercise its been a pain to be stuck indoors’.

He snorts.

‘you're on a walk with your graph paper pad and pencil case?’

You curse inside your head.

‘yeah I am a nerd after all’ you say, hoping and praying that he’ll just let you go on your way.

He doesn’t

‘I don’t know, you look awfully suspicious to me, do tell why you're heading to the sight of our data collection points when the trail track is in the opposite direction?’ he says.

You rack your brains for an answer.

‘well, I like an adventure’ you say, standing straight.

‘oh, is that so?’ he says laughter infiltrating his tone.

‘yes’, you say meeting his eyes.

‘hmm’ he says ‘I don’t believe you’ he says.

‘do you wanna know what I think?’ he continues.

He takes one step closer to you.

‘I think that our resident miss goody two shoes is sneaking off when told specifically that she can't’ his gaze burns into yours

You feel yourself going red out of embarrassment.

‘I literally have no idea what you're talking about Jungkook' you say breathless.

He leans closer and you can feel his body heat, he continues to bore his eyes into your own and you almost fall into his gaze until you feel your book being snatched out of your hand.

‘HEY!’ you say reaching for it.

But he holds it higher than himself, opens it to the last written on page.

‘new data collection points’ he reads out ‘and oh would you look at that ! It has todays dates written on it’ he says looking down at you with a squint in his eyes.

You huff.

‘well obviously I had to do this because how on earth could I let your lame ass results and data reading be used for my final piece – I'm not looking to fail’ you say venom laced in every word.

He scowls at you.

‘there was nothing wrong with my results princess’ he grits out.

‘oh, please save it’ you snap back ‘you didn’t even use the same measurements – your hopeless’.

‘well, if I'm so fucking useless you should do my work for me’ he says.

You set him a level stare.

‘what?’

‘you heard me’ he says with a roll of his eyes.

‘and why in the hell would I do that? I don’t care if you fail Jungkook, heck I don’t care if you get kicked out’ you tell him.

He shakes his head.

‘well, I mean I could go back right now and tell Miss Taylor-’ he begins.

You narrow your eyes at him.

‘You wouldn’t dare’.

He holds a staring contest with you.

‘oh, wouldn’t I?’ he says.

You both hold each other's gazes before you give in.

You cannot believe the audacity of this asshole.

‘fine whatever asshole’ you say folding your arms and turning around.

He grins in victory and places your notebook back into your hands.

‘chop chop partner get to it’ he says.

You glare at him.

‘partners pull equal weight Jungkook ‘

He rolls his eyes.

‘I don’t really care – you just need to get a move on’.

You turn around no longer wanting to deal with his annoying ass.

You make it forward a few steps before you stop and turn around.

‘why are you following me?’ you ask him.

He rolls his eyes at your apparent dumbness.

‘well smartass, there is a killer on the loose if you didn’t know’.

You freeze up for a second,

Shit

You had almost forgotten. You don’t let him see that you're scared.

‘and? ‘ you say feigning composure.

‘what the hell are you going to do if he pops out of the woods anyway?’

He shrugs.

‘I dunno actually a lot more than you could do anyway’

You stare at him.

‘I could be a black belt in karate for all you know’.

He laughs.

‘okay princess whatever - I just need to make sure that you're not going to fuck this up’.

So, you turn going to the place you need to, to collect your data pieces.

With having to do Jungkook's work as well, it takes a lot longer to complete than you would have liked.

He is surprisingly bearable in the mornings that you both sneak off though. He doesn’t say much. Just watches you – pretends he isn't though.

You catch him once. Its been about 2 weeks since you started this godawful task, and Jungkook's notes and work were in dire need of help so its taking you time. This time however you meet his gaze before he is able to pull away.

You cock your head to the side.

‘what are you staring at?’ you say placing your hands on your hips.

He says something inaudible under his breath.

‘what was that?’

He snaps at you.

‘do you think you have tie to stand around making idle talk with me? The work ain’t going to do itself princess.’

You huff in annoyance.

How dare he! This was just plain wrong anyway I should not even be doing this, but you knew it was the only way. You couldn't risk getting caught and with Jungkook you wouldn't be surprised if he really did rat you out you to all the teachers. And if he did well, you wouldn’t be receiving a very good reference.

It was during an early morning that you hear Jungkook walk off into the distance. Probably to smoke, such a bad habit you tsk.

But you're also done for the day – so you begin to head back on your own.

You feel the grass brush against your feet as you walk back. You’re humming along to that song that was always on the radio, when you hear it. A little whimper - then a cry. You know that you shouldn’t go to look, you know that you're paying for your curiosity already and you don’t need another thing to happen, but you just cannot help yourself!

You follow the sound, going on a detour from the track.

You do consider yourself somewhat of a badass but a serial killer? Yeah, they kinda scare the shit out of you. You hold your breath and walk as quietly and slowly as you can. You hear the whimper again to your left but its deeper into the woods.

As you walk closer you see a pool of blood - your eyes widen, and your heartbeat becomes erratic.

‘what the fuck?’ you whisper into the silence.

You walk closer to the body of the animal and you can feel your knees grow a little weak you can see a white paper which has been tainted red with the blood of the animal that was killed.

You gasp, taking it up in your hands. Your hands also become stained with the redness.

It's in Morse code.

-.-- --- ..- / ... .... --- ..- .-.. -.. -. .----. - / -... . / .-- .- -. -.. . .-. .. -. --. / --- ..- - / .- .-.. --- -. .

(YOU SHOULDN'T BE WANDERING OUT ALONE)

You look at it for a while and rack your brains to be able to translate it but no such look. Your mind is busy running at 100miles per hour. As you try and clear your head and look at the note one more time, but a noise in the distance pulls you way from any semblance of concentration that you could have obtained.

You frantically look around trying to locate where the sound had come from. Your senses are all on a high right now. You shove the piece of paper into your pocket and begin to go back the way that you came. After the first few steps you begin running your head running wild with the idea of being found dead in ditch. Your nearly at the main path which you had strayed from. You make it onto the path, and you bend over catching your breath when two arms encircle you from behind.

You let out a scream.

A hand is placed over your mouth.

‘shut the fuck up y/n’.

You recognise THAT voice. Its Jeon Jungkook. Why is this motherfucker always trying to scare you? Your turn around and hit him on the chest,

‘what the actual hell Jeon, you gave me a bloody heat attack and a half’.

He doesn’t respond. He is looking at you, his eyebrows are furrowed and his eyes have a glint of anger. He is furious.

‘where the fuck did you go y/n?’ he says, he holds your wrist stopping you from hitting him again.

He holds it in the air holding your gaze.

‘I was.... walking back’ you didn't want him to know what you had found. He would probably tell you it was a bad idea to even translate it. Which it was, but what is life if not for taking risks?

You yank your hand from his grasp.

He looks at you an unreadable expression on his face.

“you’re a fucking liar “he says.

You scoff.

“oh please, what’s it to you anyway jungkook, you left me first “

He doesn’t say anything, but observes you, trying to look for signs of what you’re hiding.

He had found one too, a dead animal and a note written in Morse.

But he could read it and he knew he was in trouble

“Be careful, or your little girlfriend may be snatched from right under your arms “

He swore under his breath as he read it and immediately began to make his way back to you.

“strawberry?” he calls out but you’re not there.

You’re not there and he hates the feeling of dread that sits in his stomach.

He runs back the way you came, but he still finds no trace of you

“fucking hell where did she go?”

He almost gives up and is going to tell the police when you appear before him, out of breath and you look terrified.

He knows you’re lying, if you were where, you said you were, he would have seen you.

He narrows his eyes at you again.

“I left for two seconds and you ran off. Where the fuck did you go? “

He asks, he wants you tell him, needs you to, he’s overcome with this sense to protect you but you don’t trust him. He needs to change that.

He lets you believe that you have him fooled, that he believes your story and he begins to walk back to the cabins right before the call for breakfast is sounded. You follow after him breathing in a sigh of relief that he had believed you.

That night you find it difficult to sleep. You need to find out the meaning of the Morse code, but you don't have access to a book that will help you translate, meaning that you will have to ask around without looking too suspicious.

You decide that a police officer would do nicely, if you seem overly invested in their job, they would just give you the information.

You spot the officer who looks younger than most, you remember his name.

Park Jimin.

You approach him cautiously.

“Officer park?”

He turns around to face you, smiling softly.

Oh, he’s cute you think.

“yes miss?”

You smile at him warmly.

“nothing serious it’s just that I was wondering if you would like some company, it must be a little boring for you out here on your own “

You say to him and you’re glad you asked him because either way his face breaks out into a smile that has your heart fluttering.

“how very kind of you miss! And yes, a little company wouldn't hurt “, he grins at you.

As you strike up conversation, with the officer you fail to notice a figure dressed in black listening in on your conversation. Jungkook listens in as you try and get information out of officer. He knew it. You had also come across the same note, as he had. He wonders what yours said.

He leaves after a bit, leaving both of you oblivious to the fact that he was even there in the first place.

When you get back to your room, you see Jungkook sitting at the foot of his bed frown on his face.

You ignore him and write down the information you'd just got given by Officer Park. You felt a little bad manipulating him when he was so nice but you just had to know what it meant.

Jungkook speaks up.

“that was a nice conversation you were having with Officer Park “

He says,

You whip you’re head up to look at him and closing your notebook harshly.

“What? Were you eavesdropping on my conversation?”

He rolls his eyes

“Why would I be listening to the conservation of the school nerd with a cop? No, I just happened to hear in passing “

You let out a breath that you didn’t know you were holding.

“That’s mighty rude of y-" you begin to retort before he cuts you off

“what’s a biology nerd like you need with Morse code?” He asks.

Your mind malfunctions for a moment until you bring yourself back together.

“A little extra knowledge hurts no one you know?” you say appearing nonchalant.

He narrows his eyes

“I know it”

You look at him

“you do?”

He nods,

“why need something translating?” he tries.

You think about it, but ultimately decided against showing him the note you found.

You have no clue what it says. You don’t want him understanding before you do.

You shake your head,

“No, I don’t “

You say, deciding enough is enough and you need to sleep now to be up in the morning.

The next morning you sleep in, meaning that you couldn’t do the work that was set out for you. You stretch and moan as you get out of bed when you sit up and open your eyes fully your locks onto the Bambi ones from across the room. You let out a shriek!

‘What the hell why were you watching me you creeper!’ you say pointing a finger at Jungkook.

He rolls his eyes at you.

‘oh, please don’t flatter yourself’.

‘why didn’t you wake me up? Its so late !’ you question him.

He looks at you and says words that you don’t think that you would hear.

‘I think that we should lay off for a bit strawberry’

You look at him in shock

‘but why!?’

He doesn’t really give you much of an answer in his usual Jungkook manner.

You sigh.

Over the next few weeks, you rarely bump into Jungkook, you see him sometimes in the cafeteria and you can always feel him just watching you it makes you grow warm when you notice his staring.

Jungkook is also going crazy. You drive him crazy.

You guess that you'll have to work at the same pace as everyone, truthfully you had actually caught up with your work that was missed a while ago, you were just doing extra readings to stay ahead. One step ahead of everyone. But you guess that that is going to be changed now.

It had been a while since you had been on your morning trips with jungkook and though you hate to admit it, you kind of missed it.

He wasn't as bad company as you thought he would be, he was oddly quiet which meant that without him talking as much, you really got to admire his beauty. And good lord was he handsome, you understand why people are attracted to him, when his mouth is closed, he’s fine. Basically, you became a little horny when you saw him, it had been ages since you had had sex even masturbated, since you now had room with him.

Jungkook has such strong sharp features which sometimes go all soft, if he pouts while he’s thinking or a bird catches his attention, his eyes will go big and doe like. It's cute. Everybody had two sides you suppose, yours was your horny side (lol what)

Okay maybe, more time to admire him was a bad thing, you did not need to have sexual fantasies with him, no, that was a big no no.

It's been a few weeks since Jungkook had asked you to lay low for a while and in that time, you had been asking around about the killer to the police. You tried your best not to seem suspicious about it though, if they caught on – well it wouldn’t exactly end well. So, you make slow progress, you did make progress though, however.

You could now understand the note and while it scared you, it also ignited something in you that you didn’t even know that you possessed inside of you. You wanted to outdo him, you want to find him, lead him into a trap or something like that anyway. You want to catch him.

Something in the back of your mind is telling you begging you to stop being so stupid, but you ignore and continue to daydream about catching this bastard.

But it can only cure your boredom for a while – you get bored and what better to do when you're bored than to read erotica novels?

You had packed this book with you – the secrets of the alluring painter in France. You had taken to reading at night time on some nights.

Like tonight.

You need a wind down, so you pull out your book, and it has such racy scenes that leave you clenching around nothing.

Your sexual imagination goes wild when you read the erotica in the book and the way they make it seem so fiery, you were no virgin - you knew what sex was like, but never has it been close to the way it is in the book.

You’ve allowed yourself to fall into this horrible habit, at night, when Jungkook is asleep to touch yourself, play with yourself, pretending it is you who is being touched by Kim Taehyung the painter with many secrets.

You feel yourself growing more frustrated with each passage you read, it becomes a little irritating and, you have to touch yourself or you'll go crazy, the man in the book was doing it so well, so hot.

Kim Taehyung, he was described as an utter beauty, soft black hair and soft eyes, a deep voice that just made the reader swoon, you close your eyes and reach your hands down to your shorts, they slip past the hem.

You wish you could moan, wish that you could be vocal, like you were in your bedroom when it was just you and your pillow, but there was one big problem and that was Jeon Jungkook.

Why did you have to room with him?

You lighten your breathing and listen for signs of him being awake, but he seems to be breathing really deep, he is asleep you assure yourself.

You turn the lamp off, at the side of your bed, setting the book on the bedside table.

You trail your hand down your stomach, much like Taehyung had done to the main character, he slowly lets his fingers flutter over the top of her shorts, and you do the same. You build the tension, like it's his beautiful hands working against you.

You pause and let your fingers slip past the hem of your panties, you trace over the fabric covering you - first over your mound, stroking sensually.

How had Taehyung done it?

Right yes, he had used his nails slightly and grazed over lightly, a slight pressure but nothing that hurt - it was just enough to make you squirm under your own touch.

You feel your own wetness, feel how obscene it is in the darkness of the night.

Jungkook is right there, and while it scares you, it also thrills you, you feel a new wave of arousal and adrenaline when you remember he is there.

Slowly and as quietly as possible you shuffle, moving to take your shorts off, it's a little loud but you think that you're okay, Jungkook is out like a log. After a moment you continue to tease yourself.

Running your fingertips over your lips, pressing down on your hole and clenching, withholding the need to hiss.

You raise your hand further and your fingers land right at the centre of your pleasure.

Your clit. Oh, the beautiful bundle of nerves.

You cover your mouth with a hand to stifle the moan that you almost let out when you begin to rub small circles around the sensitive nub.

When you can’t get enough your panties are next to go, and when the cold air hits your wet centre you have to hold your breath, shaky.

You reach down and gather your slick slowly, spreading it all over your centre, making yourself drown in your own arousal, you use your middle and ring finger to slide up and down at a pace that leaves you edged and eager for more, you need to bring yourself to the very edge to get yourself the release that you’re after, you free hand travels up to your ever sensitive boobs, you play with them, brushing over the nipple, making them perk and then groping them while you rub at your clit.

A dirty thought crosses your mind, when you remember the boy who was asleep across from you.

What if, he was the one to touch, the one touching you, with those beautiful hands of his, those big hands.

You stifle another moan, as you think about him, hovering over you, giving it to you just right. You had heard that Jungkook could actually make a girl cum while having sex, that made you a little interested. It’s just he always opens his mouth and is an ass and ruins everything. But right now, in your imagination, only his looks and reputation matter, you twist and turn his character to be someone that you can gain pleasure from.

You can the pleasure increase and you begin to fasten your speed until you feel the signs of your orgasm and then you pull away. Edging yourself.

Your breathing is a little heavy and your work on controlling it, both your hands go to fondle your breasts and you unconsciously lift your hips, humping the air, you lean down again and enter three fingers easily into your own heat.

The squelching sound heard is deafening in the silent room, your cheeks burn red and you pull out slowly, so that was a no no, you would have to focus on your clit for you orgasm. Which was fine because you were so sensitive from playing with yourself, you know that it would only take a few more strokes to get there.

You press the fingers that were just inside of you, against your sensitive bud and you rub in slowly circles and then fastening your place and then slowing once more.

Jungkook comes into your mind again, ugh, now his lips, his pretty pink lips and the way he licks them, and the way they glisten under the sun. What if they were attached to your clit, if he was using his face to give you pleasure, like Taehyung had done to the main character of the novel, God it was so filthy.

Its driving you insane and you love it, the frustration will only make your release all the more powerful.

After a while you feel the fire blooming in your bottom of your stomach, and you quicken your pace to the point where you feel light and the waves of pleasure rack over your whole body.

You press your hand to your mouth again to conceal the gasps that are escaping you, you sigh and fall back onto your pillow feeling so much better and lighter.

Gosh did that feel good. You were aware that in your mind alarms were going off in your mind. You had thought of Jungkook while masturbating. It was a line you have no idea why you crossed. How would you look him in the eye now?

After a while, you pull up your panties and shorts and you promise yourself a shower in the morning.

What you didn't know was that the raven-haired boy of your fantasies was in fact awake and now painfully hard as he listened to your filthy little moans and gasps, he grabs his own member in his pants, strokes slowly. He spreads the pre-cum over his member before setting the fast pace that he liked, his breaths through his nose – to conceal the way his breathing has become strained. His hair becomes damp from sweat and it sticks to his forehead. He came much faster that he would care to admit the thought of you right there yet unreachable the fact that you were so NAUGHTY under all that good girl.

Turning him on, making him needy.

He breathes heavy, thinking of you under him as he squirts out cum into his pants, Jungkook too showers in the morning after you.

After this Jungkook stays up at night, listening to you, seeing if you would do it again, you do and, on those nights, Jungkook cums at the same time as you. He feels a little pathetic, he knows that he can fuck a lot of girls in the class right, but it wasn't you, God he wants it to be you writhing underneath him.

It’s the next morning and you're getting ready for your shower.

You're gathering your clothes and shampoo and creams into a little bundle and are about to open the door to the shower, when it is opened for you. The song that you were softly humming gets stuck in your throat when you register that the door was opened by Jungkook.

A very naked Jungkook.

Your face grows red, and your eyes wander over his gorgeous body, the tattoos that trail up his arm and a few on his waist, God they looked amazing.

Your ogling comes to a stop when he clears his throat. Oh, shit you think - I was staring. You quickly look up and your eyes meet Jungkook's.

He is smirking at you and as soon as you meet his gaze, he lets his own wander over body – taken in the skin that was exposed in your pyjama shorts and a t-shirt that had been small for you since you turned 13 years old.

He looks up and down your body brazenly before meeting your eyes. He licks his lips, and you zero in on it. God it was so annoying that he was this hot.

How could this be happening now? When you had spent a while avoiding him? And him you? Why did this happen after you were thinking of him last night? Oh god you grow red again and you think what if he had heard you? God, that would be embarrassing. You look at his lips again, avoiding his gaze again but maybe his eyes would have been a better option because as soon as you look at his lips, the same filthy thoughts come back to you - you shift uncomfortably trying to calm yourself. In that time, you don't notice but Jungkook has come closer to you.

You register his closeness when a water droplet from his hair falls onto your cheek. You move away slightly.

You don’t realise it but in your extended silence of checking each other out the both of you have moved closer to each other. There is no longer what people would call a healthy distance between the two of you anymore. He looks down at you and licks his lips again. His hair is wet and the way he runs his hand through it – he looks so good like this. Your dirty thoughts run wild again. Its only when another water droplet from his hair falls onto your cheek that you finally snap out of it. You move a step back.

“You look a little hot strawberry is anything the matter?” He asks you, a teasing lilt on his voice.

It’s way too early for this, you cannot be dealing with this right now, not when your mind has gone on a memory flashback to last night and he was right here in front you, so very naked.

Still, you feign your ever composed self.

“I’m just fine” you say through gritted teeth.

“I need to shower and your kind of standing in my way” you tell him.

He chuckles, a deep chuckle, gosh how are you this horny in the morning? Stop it y/n you think.

“I don't think you really mind though do you strawberry, you seem to have a very different secretive side” he says, cocking his head to the side.

You blush, shit had he heard you?

“I have no idea what you're talking about Jungkook” you say to him “I need to shower though”.

You move to get away from his hearted stare but just before you enter the washroom, a hand grabs onto your wrist and pulls you back.

Jungkook looks at you, a deep and confusing stare.

“Be careful, it’s quite wet in there” he says and then his tongue pokes into the side of his cheek. Then suddenly, he lets you go and walks off to his side of the room, your left in shock at his words and quickly scurry to get into the bedroom before more heated tension breaks through.

You shake your head of all thoughts and quickly go into the shower, what you don’t realise is that you accidently drop something, the note with the raven-haired boy who you had left in the bedroom.

Its later on during this day that Jungkook approaches you.

'Hey strawberry’ he says to you.

You raise your eyebrows at him, what’s with his sudden kindness.

‘hey’ you reply voice dipped in surprised.

‘Oh, shut up, I just came to talk to you’.

You look at him.

‘I didn’t say anything but okay…. talk then’ you gesture your hands between your two bodies.

He lets out an exasperated gasp.

‘The note – did you find one?’ he asks. You still in the next sip of coffee that you were going to take. You feel yourself grow cold. How did he find out?

He looks at you.

‘So, you did’.

‘I didn’t say that’ you say tone slightly higher than normal – you were a terrible liar.

He laughs at you

‘Hmm is that so?’

‘I have no idea what you’re talking about Jungkook’.

He looks at you, more serious this time.

“Listen y/n there's no point playing dumb, I found your stupid note anyway”.

You watch mortified as he pulls out the note that you had thought was in your pocket. Well shit then.

“I- I have never seen that before in my life Jungkook” you can't let him know; he would ruin everything - you convince yourself.

He looks at you, he’s getting annoyed that you're lying to him. He pokes his tongue against his cheek again.

“I suggest you stop lying”.

You scoff.

“Why would I ever need to lie to you your nobody to me Jungkook”.

Something akin to hurt flashes across his face for a few seconds before he slams his hands on the table.

“I don’t think you know what you're even getting into strawberry”.

You gather your belongings getting up, you need to get away from him.

“And I don't think you know what the fuck you're talking about Jungkook”.

You walk off leaving him there, but he follows after you,

“Listen I found one too, you don't need to be miss hero or anything”.

You carry on walking, not bothering to give him an answer, he would want to tell the teachers and everyone, they would cancel the trip and then how would you finish gathering your evidence? No, he was insane.

“I don’t know what you're talking about”.

‘you think your so fucking slick, don’t you? Asking around and acting unsuspicious but your wrong I could sense your stupid plan from a mile away’ he says to you, pulling you on your arm effectively stopping you so you can't walk away from him anymore. You struggle out of his hold.

‘and so, what? So, what if you know? What the hell are you going to do Jungkook? Tell on me? Are you going to threaten to tell the teachers because you know what? I’ve been thinking about it and I think they would much rather take my word for yours and all this work I’ve been doing for you – I could easily go right now and show the teachers and say that you forced me to do it!! ’

He looks at you angrily, looks like he is going to swear or curse you out but then his face relaxes.

‘you say that baby, but the truth is I have money and you don’t if I want to manipulate something I can because I have the means and power to do so, my dad's made himself something while yours totted away in the fucking garbage can’.

You feel the anger come over you and he smirks at you.

‘real fucking classy Jeon, yeah insult my parents – like it's their fault they were born into a world where people are born with silver spoons on their mouth, and at least my parents love me Jungkook’

His eyes flash with hurt

‘how do you now my parents don't love me you little bitch?’

You laugh an empty laugh at his face.

‘just look at you – you’re the very definition of boohoo my parents don't love me so I'm going to kick up a mess, so they notice me for once’.

He groans in frustration at your words then.

Somehow amidst your confrontation with Jungkook you had managed to reach your room, why are you here? Why did your feet have to leave you here?

You walk into the room and as soon as he gets in, Jungkook grabs you by the wrist and pins you against the door, your books and pencils fly across the room and while your mortified - he doesn't even bat an eyelid.

Your breathing is both heavy as you look each other in the eyes, waiting for the other to say something.

You struggle against his hold, uselessly, curse him for doing his workout routine every morning.

“You found the fucking note y/n when you went missing in the woods that day, the note that’s in Morse code, the note that you spent a week trying to decode, don't act fucking dumb” he grits out.

You still try and keep up your act,

“I have no clue in the world what you're talking Jeon, I think you're going fucking insane” you seethe out

He growls, yes, he growls.

“Your seriously fucking pissing me off now, I know you did, I know you found it”.

“Fuck off, Jungkook does it look like I care if I am fucking pissing you off”.

He looks into your eyes again and whispers something like “fucking priss” before he is connecting your lips in a kiss, a kiss that is full of ego, passion and heat. You can feel in searing through your body so fiery, setting your nerves alight.

He is relentless in his pace. His mouth against yours and God indeed Jungkook is good kisser. Before you knees grow weak you move your hands to tangle in his hair and you pull at the end causing him groan against his lips, when he does you swipe your tongue into his mouth getting a taste. You pull harder, and he groans again. It was a sound that you know you would like to hear again.

His hands move from the door and one tangles in your hair while the other presses harshly on your waist. You gasp at the pleasure and at this he takes over, he fights your own tongue for dominance and once he wins, he is rough, he wants all his saliva in your mouth, wants his taste on you, wants you to feel him in every way.

When he knows that your just as enthralled by his kisses he pulls back to taunt you - whispering the words against you bruised lips.

“You act like such a fucking little priss don't you? Act like your better than me? Lying to me? Fuck you drive me insane”.

He attacks your neck now, leaving open mouthed kisses along your ear and neck. He nibbles lightly at a few areas and when he gets to just the right place - where your breath hitches and you move your thighs together he bites down harshly without warning and you try you best to suppress your moans. Not wanting to give him any satisfaction.

“I am better than you” you say to him breathlessly, “I don’t just act like it, I am”.

He bites harder at that and you wince - Jungkook is painting you skin wine and purple and your letting him and it feels so goddamn good. He pulls you back by the hair to look at him,

“You don't look much better than me when you are bending at my will, when you're looking so fucked out and I’ve done is fucking kiss you”.

Your answer is swallowed by a moan that you let out as he takes you breasts into his big hands, and squeezes hard, you pull him up from your neck and kiss him again, his lips, your lips bruising and fighting against one another.

He trails his hand down further and dances around the hem of your pants for a while, and you place your own over his, just as your about to lead him further down a knock is heard at your door.

You both freeze

“y/n?” A voice calls out.

You calm yourself before answering, still a little shaky.

“Yes?”

“Our guest speaker has arrived, I just thought you might like to ask him a few questions before he gives his talk”.

Jungkook swears under his breath, raking a hand through his hair.

“You fucking nerd”.

He pulls you back by your pony tail and the back of your head lands on his shoulder, he tilts you slightly, so he has better access to kiss and leave more marks against your skin.

“Ah- I thank you, I’ll come in an ah- while” you say, and you hear the footsteps walk off, Jungkook spins you around and he goes to kiss you again, but you pull away.

“No, just, stop I have to go and talk”.

He looks at you “you fucking nerd” he kisses you once more, like he can't get enough of your mouth.

You pull away again.

uh what in the fuck just happened you think.

This was not meant to happen.

“Look Jungkook, I did, that is my note and I- I’ll, we can talk just not now, okay? I-I have to go. This is important"

He doesn't say anything, just watches as you fix your appearance in the mirror, an appearance he had ruined, and he smirks a little in triumph. He watches as you gather your books that had been thrown onto the floor and he watches as your ass is on display for him and God, he wishes he could grab a handful, but he doesn’t. He just watches.

You walk out the room, without so much as looking at him again and he feels oddly rejected.

He knows that you had felt good, he had heard you groan against his mouth, grind against his clothed member but he hadn't ever been walked out on before. He's not sure what exactly he is feeling. Its not a good feeling - that he was walked out on and for some old ass lecturer too.

He watches the door close, and he sits and waits for you to finish being a nerd. But truthfully it is a little hot to him that you’re so independent, you do things for yourself, your confidence and your wit, it makes you fun, you piss him off, but your company is nicer than the ones that he is used to.

He sighs what the fuck is he getting himself into.

You take a breath as you exit the room,

What in the fuck just happened? you think.

Well, when you promised Jungkook that you would talk to him you hadn't been in your right mind. Why did you agree to that like fuck? You have no idea what to even say. How do you even start that conversation like...?

"Hey, was just wondering if you would like to you know? Go on a hunt for a serial killer with me?"

Gosh this was so stupid and the kiss, gosh your face heats up as you remember the way he had kissed you - oh so sweet and so naughty!

Gosh you were in bad, as an adult you decide to deal with the problem logically, you'll just ignore him. That will work, Jungkook had a small attention span anyway. You're sure he would forget. You really hope he does.

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silv3rswirls · 3 years

Text

Clingy

Anon asks: hello! I wanted to request something along the lines of Jin calling his gf clingy behind her back when really she’s just going thru a lot atm and in need of Jin. Super angsty, but with a kind of happy ending??thank you so much if you do end up writing this :)

Paring: Kim Seokjin/reader

Summary: When life becomes too much you always look to Jin for support; however, it seems he’s grown tired of it.

Warnings: angst, mentions of depression, slight fluff

Word Count: 1.5k

You were so grateful for your boyfriend.

Jin seemed to be perfect in every way. You got along easily, he was funny and kind, attentive despite idol life. He was wonderful. He was your perfect shoulder to lean on when you needed it and lately it seemed that you were having more downs and ups in life. You were in your final years of university, working part-time as well. It could get pretty overwhelming at times. You were keeping up fine with your work, but could probably use some more studying, but work was just so hectic lately. It was draining, dealing with rude people and a tough boss that always seemed to have something negative to say to you. Things were starting to feel bad again. Mornings you struggled to get out of bed, often too tired and sluggish to get ready. But you did, you managed to force yourself up and out. Getting through the day was hard though.

Today has been hard. One of your grades was slipping and work had been busier than it had all week. Your manager had yelled at you for not working fast enough, but it was hard when the store seemed packed full of people. You left later than usual as well. Still, you tried to look forward to seeing Jin after such a long day. Lately, he has been the only thing keeping you afloat. Spending time with him just seemed to melt your stress away. Being able to talk to him made the weight on your shoulders feel just a bit lighter.

At this time Jin was still at the studio, but you had already told him you would come by for a bit after work. It was something you did often and Jin always seemed to enjoy it when you came. You entered the building, heading for the practice room right away. The door was cracked open, music off indicating that they were probably taking a breather. You took a deep breath, trying to lift your spirits a bit more before going in. As you went to push the door open you stopped when you heard Jin and Namjoon speaking.

“Is Y/n still going to come by?” Namjoon asked.

“Probably.” Jin sighed.

“You don’t sound very excited.”

“It’s just- she’s been so clingy lately.” Jin admitted, “it’s all day every day with her, I don’t even get any time just for myself anymore.”

You dropped your arm from the doorknob. Clingy? Jin thought you were clingy? Blinking a few times you felt the tears that had built up throughout the day threatening to fall. You hadn’t thought you were being clingy, just seeking comfort. You told him how hard things were getting, but maybe you had gone overboard? You sniffled, taking a step back to turn around and leave, but you bumped into someone instead. Jimin was standing there, a bit of a pale look on his face at what Jin had said. “Y/n” he spoke, “I’m sure he didn’t mean it like-”

“I know what he meant” You interrupted, feeling the tears begin to fall. “It’s fine I’ve just been- um” you reached to brush away the tears falling from your eyes. The build of the past few days was finally getting to you. Hearing Jin says that was just what set it all off. You couldn’t help it as you broke down in a fit of tears.

“Y/n, don’t cry” Jimin begged, “come in and talk to Jin.”

“No, I-I don’t want to bother him.” You took a deep breath. “I’m just going to go home, it’s fine.”

“Let me take you home” Jimin offered, “practice is pretty much over anyway, you shouldn’t go alone.” Jimin didn’t give you much of a choice as he told you to wait for him, running in to grab his things and tell the others he had to go. He walked with you out, catching a car to take the two of you to your apartment. He held your hand and tried to comfort you, telling you that Jin was just being stupid, that he didn’t mean it.

You were grateful for his attempts to comfort you, but you had a feeling this wasn’t just some accident. Jimin stayed with you for a bit, talking some more. You told him about your recent troubles, breaking down under the stress of it again. Jimin was there for you as a good friend, but you couldn’t help but wish it was Jin who was sitting with you right now.

You didn’t contact Jin that night or the next day. Jimin checked up on you at least, and when Jin finally texted you ignored him. What was the point if he thought you were too clingy with your problems? He wanted some alone time, so you were giving it to him. Luckily you had the weekend off of work, but the two classes you had over the weekend went missed. You felt bad, thinking about the material you were missing, but you couldn’t seem to drum up the motivation to get out of bed. It wasn’t a new feeling, you had had pretty bad run-ins with depression in the past. It had been a while since you felt this bad though, it felt like the past was just repeating itself. You hardly ate and barely took care of yourself. You just couldn’t see the point in it right now.

Jin, on the other hand, despite enjoying some more free time was beginning to get worried about you. He texted and called a few times, all of them went unanswered. We stopped by your work one evening, only to find you had the weekend off and even called Monday off as well. It had been two days since that evening and he was becoming worried. He contemplated going to your apartment. “Maybe she’s just busy with other things right now.” Taehyung offered as Jin stared at his phone with furrowed brows.

“But she hasn’t answered in almost three days,” he sighed.

“What’s the big deal, didn’t you say she was being too clingy?” Jimin asked, looking up from his phone. “Enjoy your free time Hyung.”

Jin’s face grew a bit flustered. “I didn’t mean-”

“You know she heard you say it right?” Jimin asked, “she looked really hurt, started crying even.”

“What? Why didn’t you tell me?”

“You shouldn’t string her along. If you don’t want to be around her then tell her yourself.” Jimin frowned, “she’s alright, just upset.”

“You talked to her?”

“Yeah, I’ve been checking in. She doesn’t really want to talk to me or anyone.” Jimin informed, “I’m mad at you for being so careless Hyung, but if you really do care about her I suggest you fix things.”

Jin was at your apartment only an hour later. He knocked a few times, waiting impatiently for your answer. He used the spare key you had given him to get in. He went straight for the bedroom, frowning at how dark it was. He moved to peel the curtains open, letting the sunlight bounce around the room and onto the pile of blankets on the bed. “Y/n?” Jin asked, going to your bedside and tossing the blankets off of your head. “Y/n, are you alright?” He asked, concern laced in his tone. You didn’t look very good, curled up in the safety of your blankers, hair tangled and heavy bag under your eyes.

“What do you want?” You asked coldly, turning away.

“Y/n, I didn’t mean for you to hear what I said-”

“Well, I did. I’m sorry for being so clingy Jin.” You tried to keep your voice strong and mad, but you could feel it slipping the more he talked to you.

“I didn’t mean it, I’m sorry.” Jin apologized, “you’re not clingy, I was just talking my stress out on you. I love being around you.”

“I-I don’t mean to be so clingy Jin, things are just really hard right now.” You sniffle, turning over to look at him. “Work, school, everything’s too much. You make everything better, that’s why I wanted to be around you so much. You make me forget all my problems.”

“I know” Jin spoke softly, moving to sit down beside you, his hand coming to rub up and down your arm. “I shouldn’t talk about you like that, you know I love you.”

“I love you too.”

“Can I cuddle?” He asked, waiting for you to slowly nod and scoot over a bit so he could slip under the covers beside you. He wrapped his arms around you, pressing a kiss to the side of your head. “We can talk more about it later okay? I love you Y/n.”

You nodded, not entirely feeling better. You were willing to talk more about it, as you weren’t willing to just break your relationship off over it. You loved Jin, obviously, he loved you as well, but you couldn’t help the creeping feeling in the back of your mind. You weren’t sure if things with Jin would ever truly go back to normal.

#bts fanfic #bts reactions #bts imagines #bts #bts x reader #kim seokjin x reader #kim seokjin imagine #jin x reader #bts jin x reader #slight angst #bts angst #seokjin angst

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make-me-imagine · 3 years

Text

Red Roses: “I Love You” - Bucky Barnes Ending

Valentines Special: Day Nine

Day One: Morning Glories // Day Two: Blue Salvias Day Three: Sunflowers // Day Four: Pink Camellias Day Five: Yellow Tulips // Day Six: Violets Day Seven: Lisianthus // Day Eight: Daffodils (Post with rest of the character endings)

Plot: It’s finally Valentines Day, the day the reader will finally learn who it is that had been leaving them flowers and notes expressing their secret feelings.

Pairing: Gen!Neutral Reader x Bucky Barnes

Triggers: None

Words: 2,233 (this is the longest ending I think but it’s mostly because of the lead up to the reveal/admission)

Requested Taglist: @aquariuslavenderhoney, @thebookbakery @spuffyfan394, @fablesrose, @kitkatd7, @thefallenbibliophilequote, @beksib, @destynelseclipsa, @criminaly-supernatural, @tammythompson-singslikea-muppet, @belloangelus, @snarky--starky, @saintbootlegloras, @wecallhimbrowneyess, @empath-bunny, @okkulta, @katinthemoon, @ravennight41, @youcancallme-rae , @radhumandragonclam, @unfortunateidiotinadilemma, @past3l-w1ngs , @goinggoinggonzo, @mxxnmocha, @euphouriaszn2

February 14th

As the morning light lit up your room and you slowly woke up, you found that you had no memory of falling asleep. Stretching, you stayed in your bed for a few moments before slowly sitting up. Hearing a crinkling sound under your leg, you checked, finding the note from the previous nights bouquet delivery. You suddenly remembered that you had been lying on your bed, reading over the note. You must have drifted off to sleep at some point. Though, you had faint memories of weird and uncomfortable dreams, but no specifics stuck in your memory.

The realization that today was Valentines Day hit you, and you were suddenly filled with a mixture of anxiety and excitement. You took a few deep breaths as you tried to calm yourself down. Today is the day, when everything changes.

Getting out of bed, you got ready for the day. Knowing that you still had work to do today before the party this evening. You would try your best not to think about what was going to happen today. Even though you didn’t know for sure when it would happen exactly. Before the party, during, after?

You left the tower shortly after getting ready, you needed to go to the SHIELD base today, Fury had some assignments for you. Hopefully whatever he had for you would be distracting.

Once you arrived you got right to work, tracking and scouting the possible group that sent the team after the SHIELD base. You never left the SHIELD building, instead, tracking them from drones and satellites. You were gathering information on their movements and number of people. Taking a few breaks throughout the day to work on some other assignments.

Around 5pm, Fury came back to check on you and your progress. After updating him, he sat down on the corner of the table next to you, staring down at you.

“So, got any plans for tonight?”

“Uhh, just attending Tony’s party.”

He nodded his head “Nothing else?” he questioned, something in his tone seemed off.

Turning, you eyed him for a moment before rolling your eyes “Which one told you, Nat or Clint?”

He smirked “Told me about what?”

Knowing his game, you turned back around “Nothing.”

He chuckled “Okay, yeah, Romanoff mentioned the flowers, and being a romantic myself, I am naturally curious, so, do you know who it is yet?”

You sighed as you turned back to him “No, I don’t....but, tonight I am supposed to find out...”. He was the first person you actually told that too. No one else knew that they had planned to show themselves tonight. Not unless the secret person told someone else that is.

“Ooh” he laughed “Well then, you better go get ready.”

“What? The party isn’t for another three hours.”

“Well you’ve got to dress to impress right? Go, go!”

“I- “

“That’s an order Agent” he said with a more serious tone.

Closing your opened mouth, you stood as he stared at you expectantly, after taking a few steps away you turned back to him “I never knew you to be a romantic.”

He smiled at you “Oh yeah, love that shit. Ever read Pride and Prejudice?” you reacted with surprise and an amused smile at this as he continued “It’s a secret passion though. Secret, got it?”

You returned his smile and nodded “Yes sir” before turning to leave, feeling the anxiety you had tried to run from fill your thoughts again. Upon thinking more about the party, you realized that you never actually planned out anything to wear.

- - -

You stared at the possible outfits you had laid out on your bed, you had narrowed it down to three. You figured that the party was probably ‘black tie optional’ but definitely ‘party-esque’. So, getting rid of the more extravagant outfit, you were stuck between the silky black outfit, and the gold and black outfit. You finally decided on the gold and black, you would match with the decor a bit more.

There was a little over an hour left until the party actually started, so you got dressed and finished getting ready, before you sat down at your desk. You grabbed the small container you had been storing the notes in and opened it, reading over the notes one more time. Looking around at the flowers placed around your room, you were almost melancholy that most of them had begun to wilt. The potted plants were still thriving, though the flowers were beginning to die as well.

You remembered that you still needed to press one of the daffodils before they began to wilt. Deciding to do it now, you clipped off one of the prettiest blooms and took out your supplies. By the time you had finished and put the flowers away, pressed underneath some heavy books, you checked the clock, seeing that the party had technically begun about 15 minutes earlier.

Rising, you quickly grabbed your stuff before heading out the door and to the elevator. While in the elevator you began to feel antsy, your anxiety rising. When the doors opened, you walked out into the hall, seeing some people mingling, the sound of music coming from the main room.

Waking past and saying hello to a few people you knew, you entered into the main room, seeing around 50 people had already arrived, some of the avengers scattered throughout the room. You and Natasha saw each other, and met in the middle of the room.

As she smiled at you, you felt a growing intensity. “Hey, I was wondering if you were going to show up at all, most of us were down here already.” she asked as you stopped in front of each other.

“Oh, yeah sorry I got distracted and forgot to check the time.”

She smiled but seemed to be studying you, she spoke again, a bit quieter than before “Are you alright? Did something happen?”

You hesitated for a moment as you looked around “I just...” you let out a small sigh “I’m supposed to learn who has been leaving the flowers tonight.” you finally said as you watched her reaction.

She smiled lightly “Yeah, I figured.”

“Do you know who it is? I mean, you don’t have to tell me, but just. Do you?”

She seemed to think for a moment “I...think I know. But, you know I’m not gonna say anything. But just...” she placed her hands on your shoulders “Relax. Don’t overthink too much, it’ll be aright.”

You nodded your head “Yeah I know, it’s just, this sort of thing doesn’t happen a lot you know?”

You both chuckled, as she looped her arm through yours “I’ll stay with you for a while, we’ll get a drink and some food okay?”

You smiled at her “Thanks Nat.”

- - -

You had mingled with Nat, Sam, Clint and Rhodey for a while before you all scattered to mingle elsewhere. A lot more people had arrived and the tower was getting pretty crowded. Anytime you saw or talked with one of the other’s you felt as though at any moment they could tell you it was them.

It started to overwhelm you a bit, so you decided you needed a breather. Finding an empty balcony, you walked out into the cool air, staring out at the bright city. You leaned over on the railing, closing your eyes and taking a breath.

You hadn’t seen that Bucky had been watching you, and followed you when he saw you leave. So you jumped slightly when you heard a voice from behind you “Y/n?”

Turning, you see Bucky peaking out of at you, taking a step out, he closed the door behind him as he spoke “Are you alright? I saw you leave and though something might be wrong.”

You smiled at him as he watched you from by the door, his hands behind his back as he watched you closely. “I’m alright Buck” you lied.

He nodded his head as he walked over to you, he could tell you were lying, but he decided not to press. Making sure he kept his hands hidden, he leaning against the railing, and looked out at the city for a few moments before he spoke again “How’d the flower pressing go?”

“Oh, it went well, I like the way they are turning out so far.” you smiled, welcoming the conversation, but feeling a pang of disappointment as you remembered how Bucky reacted when you told him about the flowers. You had hoped it was him, and that when you told him about the flowers, maybe he’d give in and tell you that it had been him the whole time.

He nodded his head a few times in understanding “I think it’s really nice that you want to keep them in some way” you shared a smile, as you tried to ignore the lasting disappointment. Bucky cleared his throat a bit as you noticed his demeanor change as he straightened back up “So, uh, how do you think these would look pressed?” he asked as he pulled a small bouquet of red roses from behind his back.

You straightened up as well as you stared at the flowers, your heart now beating heavily in your chest, how did you not see those? Looking between the flowers and Bucky you opened your mouth but remained speechless, unsure of how to react. Bucky watched you expectantly for a moment as you gathered yourself, you finally let out a breathy sigh and smiled, meeting his eyes. “It’s you?”

He shrugged slightly in response “Is that surprising? Or, disappointing?”

You shook your head “No, no, you...were actually, who I was really hoping it would be.” you said somewhat shyly.

A smile spread across his face as you said this, clearly relieved. Passing you the flowers, he watched as your smile grew as you smelled them before looking back up at him “They’ll go great with the others” he smiled at you as you fiddled with them a bit “Don’t...red roses mean.. I love you?” you asked as you met his eyes.

He nodded his head lightly before speaking almost in a whisper “Yes, they do. And...I do” he let out a small sigh, as if relieved and happy to finally be admitting “I love you. I’m not sure for how long exactly, but...”

“I love you too Bucky” you muttered, the sentence alone making your heart feel as thought it was going to explode. “And, they’re beautiful” you muttered “Thank you.” you looked down at the flowers again.

He took a small step closer to you, bringing his hand to your chin as he tilted your head up, so you’d look at him “I also meant every word that I wrote ya’ know.”

“I know.” you smiled at each other before you spoke again “But, how did you get the flowers to my door the days when you were around me?”

He thought for a second “It actually wasn’t that hard, the Salvias, I left one of the times I left the gym when you were running, the Lisianthus when I went to go get my wallet.”

“And what about the Camellias, how did I not catch you?”

He let out a breathy chuckle “Wanda. She found out the day before, she caught me with the sunflowers, so I asked her to help me out.”

“Oh” you chuckled “Who else knew?” you asked out of curiosity.

“Just Sam and Steve. But I think some of the others might have figured it out too.” He hesitated for a moment before speaking again “I was really afraid that, you’d want it to be someone else, but, then, when you told me about wanting to press them, it gave me a new sense of hope.”

You smiled at him “I was kind of afraid when you didn’t really show much response, since I was hoping it was you. But, I guess it makes sense, you are pretty good at keeping secrets” you laughed “But I am very happy that it is you.”

Returning the smile he inched a little closer, bringing his hand back to your face “I only ever want you to be happy.” He paused for a second "Can I...?”

Knowing what his question was, you leaned a bit closer as well, nodding slightly, and whispering out “Yes.”

Meeting each other with a slow passionate kiss, your heart continued to beat rapidly in your chest, but no longer out of fear or anxiety, but out of excitement and joy. When you pulled away Bucky smiled at you “Since we both don’t really want to be here, wanna go somewhere else? Go for a drive, get some decent food?” he asked in reference to Tony’s choice of a “romantic dinner”.

You chuckled “Tony will be mad.”

“So?” he asked with a smirk.

Smiling, you looked towards the frosted balcony doors, hearing the music and chatter of people, most of whom you didn’t even know. Looking back at Bucky, you nodded your head “Okay.”

Reaching down, he took your hand in his with a smile before he pulled you back inside. You managed to sneak out of one of the side doors, only seen by a few, including Wanda and Steve, who spotted you at the same time, meeting eyes from across the crowd, they shared wide happy smiles.

xx xx xx xx xx

I hope this was okay, I’m really bad at bringing one shots to a close, so they often end abruptly. But I hope you liked it!!

196 notes · View notes

solarwonux · 3 years

Text

Valentine’s Day Drabbles #4 - Facetime

Ceo!Jun x f!reader

w.c 1.9k

warnings: smut, dirty talking, masterbation, mutual masterbation, phone sex, face time sex ya kno the usual lol

note: I’m having so much fun writing these lmao, I think I will do one for each of the 13 members, So I am gifting you Jun for today. I hope you’ll enjoy, let me know your thoughts. Thank you.xx

drabble game || masterlist

Jun’s business trip had been extended for another week, and he was pissed but the merge between his company and Seungcheol’s company was important. His stress of being away from his home and you getting to him as he felt his exhaustion rise when he bounced from meetings to meetings. A few times he had been able to sneak away for a breather and contact you, giving you updates on his day and telling you how much he was missing you in more ways than one.

“You don’t have to come out with us tonight.” Chan said as he finished tying his shoe and standing up, admiring his appearance in the mirror. Jun nodded tugging on his shirt, running a hand through his wet hair.

“This is important, we’re so close to finalizing the merge Chan I can’t back out now.” Jun sighed, sitting down on the bed grabbing one of his shoes.

“Wonwoo and I got this, we’ll just say you had an emergency to tend to, I’m sure they’ll understand.” Chan smiled, placing a comforting hand on Jun’s shoulder. “We’ll get this.” He nodded reassuringly, patting his shoulder and made his way towards the door. “Pick up your phone, it has been ringing nonstop.” He laughed and walked out.

Jun sighed, throwing his shoe to the side and stood up walking over to where his phone was charging. A sigh of relief escaping his lungs as he saw your facetime call light up his screen and without a second thought, he picked it up. His smile grew when he saw you appear on his screen. His heart beating rapidly as he took in your relaxed appearance, his body itching to be with you.

“Hey baby, you going out?” You smiled pushing up your glasses, leaning your elbows against your desk, getting close to the camera as you took in his attire. “I can call later if you are?”

“Hi love, was going to but I think Chan will beat my ass if I step out to meet him and Woo, they already scolded me for overworking myself too much earlier today.” He grinned, throwing himself on the bed, placing an arm behind his head holding it up grinning at you through his phone.

“Good maybe you’ll listen to them.” You smiled leaning back in your chair. “I miss you.” You pouted playfully crossing your arms in front of you.

“Believe me I miss you so much, if all goes well tonight and tomorrow, I should get back home tomorrow night or the following morning.” He said sitting up resting his back against the headboard.

“Jun, I’m confident everything will go well, stop selling yourself short.” You affirmed wishing you were with him to hold him and reassure him that all his hard work was going to pay off.

“Okay, okay if you say everything’s going to be fine then everything will be fine.” He smiled pushing his drying hair back, before slamming his hand down on the bed. “Now let’s stop talking about this…how was your day?”

“Fine, there was a tech problem at the office, so everyone got sent home early…I went to the mall and then came home took a bath, cooked and now I’m talking to you while waiting for my cookies to finish baking.” You gushed watching as Jun’s smile grew wider. His stomach was spiraling with butterflies as the excitement of seeing you again grew.

“Did you buy anything?”

“Ahh, I did but you’re going to have to come home in order to see what I bought.” You smirked playing with the strings of his forest green hoodie, his eyes widening realizing what you meant. He let out a playful groan running a frustrated hand across his face making you laugh loudly.

“Baby please show me…I’m in need right now.” He whined laying down on the bed again as you shook your head.

“Nope, that will ruin the surprise Jun…you can wait a few more days, or hours.”

“Please just a preview, I haven’t stopped thinking about you all day today.” He pouted, bringing his phone closer to his face magnifying his pouting lips.

“Fine but pay attention.” You giggled standing up from your chair, and pushing it in. Pushing your computer screen back, watching as Jun bit his bottom lip in anticipation. You walked back a little carefully, slowly hitching up his sweatshirt, revealing a baby blue see through bra with hearts covering your nipples and matching see through mesh shorts. Jun groaned, throwing his head back hitting his pillows repeatedly as he felt himself grow harder. You scoffed playfully at his reaction before bringing down his sweatshirt and covering yourself again as he whined.

“Did you like it?” You asked leaning against your chair watching as Jun rolled his eyes at your question.

“I’m so happy you showed me that today because when I get home its coming right off darling.” He mumbled unbuttoning the first few buttons of his dress shirt, feeling the heat start to take over his body. “But also I’m so hard right now and Chan could come back any minute now.”

“Better go take a cold shower then.” You suggested taking a seat again, fixing your computer screen so you were back in frame. “No, help me.” He pouted, fixing his pillows before sitting up against them, his free hand threatening to start touching himself as the image of you kept replaying in his mind. “Touch yourself for me.” He breathed out finally letting his hand rest against himself, palming himself slowly.

“Jun! You exclaimed your eyes growing in size, feeling your body heat up, the thought of pleasuring yourself for him making you aroused. “Please baby, look at what you did to me.” He smirked turning his camera around his hand gripping his cock through his slacks, a moan escaping your lips as you felt yourself start to crave him. You pushed your chair back standing up and taking off your bottoms throwing them aside, hiking up his sweatshirt and sitting back down. “I can’t believe we’re doing this.” You spoke, opening your legs for him, your hand slowly caressing the inside of your thighs, making him moan out in satisfaction.

“Desperate times call for desperate measures my love.” He spoke rapidly standing up from the bed, setting his phone down on the nightstand making sure you’re able to see him. Once he was sure he stood up straight, taking off his shirt in a desperate haze. Moving his arms around as he tried pushing it off making your giggle at his clumsiness. “Not funny.” He mumbled once he succeeded throwing his shirt on the bed. His golden chest glistening underneath the dimmed light of the hotel room, your hand getting closer and closer to where you needed it most.

“Take off your pants you’re taking too long.” You joked as you teasingly ran your index finger through your arousal. Jun scoffed, rolling his eyes, “And you call me the impatient one.” He shook his head, unfastening his pants and pushing them down along with his boxers, kicking them aside. His hardened length resting against his stomach, begging to be touched. “You are.” You breathed sinking into the chair, moaning as you started circling your clit slowly.

He sighed as he took his cock in his hand circling his thumb over his reddened head, spreading around the bead of precum that hard started to form. “Aren’t you wearing to much clothes for me baby, let me see you.” He spoke letting go of his length spitting in his hand before moving his hand against him again.

“Deal with it.” You smirked before pushing against your clit gently. “You’re such a tease baby.” As he slowly started teasing himself. “Put a finger inside of you.” You moaned obliging, throwing your head back as you slid in one of your fingers moving it slowly against your wet, velvety walls wishing it was his finger instead. “Jun, I need you so badly.” You whined out searching for your g-spot, moaning when you finally found it.

“God, you have no idea how delicious you look right now.” He groaned, tightening his grip on his length. “Can you put another one in?” He sighed, running his thumb over his head once again, the pleasure feeling out of this world. You nodded as you started to slowly scissor your fingers as your other hand rubbed your clit teasingly. The sight was so sinful and beautiful at the same time. A masterpiece he wished he could frame for his own pleasure.

“I wish you were here.” You breathed out throwing your head back, pushing your hips against your hand as you slowly felt the wave of pleasure build up. Jun moaned loudly as his hand started moving faster, his hips moving along with it. “I wish I was there. inside you…Are you close?” He sighed, feeling himself start to reach his high, you nodded increasing your pace, your back arching against the chair, as your breaths started to get louder. Your chest rising rapidly as you worked yourself up, moaning his name like a sinful mantra when you felt yourself come undone underneath your heated touch. Jun following in suit, whispering your name through gritted teeth. Ropes of his cum shooting out against his toned stomach, the sight exciting you.

The two of you stayed silent for a while, taking in what had happened before you let out a laugh. Jun chuckled as he grabbed his phone with his clean hand, walking into the bathroom and grabbing the towel he had used earlier after his shower. “Why are you laughing?” He smirked, setting his phone down, resting it against the bathroom counter.

“I just can’t believe we did that.” You blushed crossing your legs in front of you. “Was that a good enough preview for you?” You added feeling your cheeks get hotter.

“More than enough baby girl.” He grinned, running the towel underneath the faucet before cleaning himself off. He then set the towel aside once he was done, looking around making a satisfied sound when he found the sweatpants, he had thrown on the floor that morning and putting them on.

“Good, now I have to go check on my cookies, the oven beeped around two minutes ago, but I was a bit busy obviously.” You stated standing up.

“Wait don’t leave me.” He whined grabbing his phone and walking out of the bathroom, his ears perking up as he heard the door of his hotel room click open, Chan walking in, his jacket over his shoulders and a satisfied smirk etched on his face. “Chan just walked in, say hi.” He smirked turning his camera around to face his best friend and coworker, your palms feeling sweaty as you set down your laptop on top of the kitchen counter. The fragments of what had happened not even five minutes ago playing through your head.

“H-Hi Channie. Did it go well?” You waved shyly, looking down at your attire and making sure you were all covered.

“Hi, yes, we’re signing the merger deal tomorrow, you’re welcome Jun.” He smirked patting his friend on the shoulder before walking past him unbuttoning his shirt. Jun turned his camera around, his face glowing as he heard the news.

“See, Jun I told you it was going to go perfectly fine.” You said excitedly, turning off the oven, silently hoping you hadn’t burned the cookies, as you had been craving some for days.

“Your manifestation skills are out of this world baby.” He joked making you laugh as you slowly took out your cookies, a satisfied sigh leaving your lips, your perfect cookies staring back at you. You set them down, spinning around and turning on the faucet and running your hands underneath them “That was all you baby, I just offered words of encouragement.”

“And more.” He winked, giving you a knowing look, as you turned the faucet off giving him a warning look. His laugh erupting from his chest at your reaction.

“I’m hanging up now, goodnight baby, I love you, I’m proud of you and the guys.” You said drying your hands then leaning against the kitchen counter. “Night Channie.” You yelled to the younger boy.

“Goodnight, did you make cookies?” He questioned appearing next to Jun raising a brow at you.

“Yes, I’ll save you guys some.”

“You’re amazing, thank you.”

“Alright, stop flirting with my girlfriend.” Jun mumbled pushing Chan out of the frame before turning to face you. “I love you, sweet dreams my love and save me more cookies than Chan.” He chuckled, throwing you a kiss before ending the facetime call. He sighed happily, throwing himself on the bed, pulling the covers up to his neck.

“Hope the two of you didn’t do gross stuff while I was gone.” Chan mumbled laying down on his bed, staring at him suspiciously.

“Of course we didn’t,” Jun nodded reassuringly trying his best to keep a poker face. “Go to sleep, I’m waking you up early tomorrow so you can tell me everything that happened tonight.”

“Whatever.” Chan mumbled, turning his back to him. Jun smiled, turning off the light of the room, his body finally relaxing for the first time in two weeks.

#kpopscape #kdiarynet #seventeen scenarios #seventeen imagines #seventeen x reader #seventeen fanfiction #seventeen fanfic #seventeen smut #seventeen drabbles #jun x reader #jun smut #seventeen jun #jun imagines #jun fanfic #jun fanfiction #wen junhui #wen junhui imagines #wen junhui smut #wen junhui fanfiction

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es-kay-zee · 3 years

Text

Goodbyes part 2 | Hyunjin x Reader

genre: angst, fluff

warnings: none

requested: kinda? yeah?

word count: 2.1k

proofread: nope

taglist: @bxngchxn @jisungsplatforms @qtieskz

a/n: i couldn't be bothered making a new moodboard for this one so i'm just using the same one for part 1. maybe i'll make a new one tomorrow but not right now lol

____________________

Four days. It’s been four days since that phone call. And not a single one had gone by where Hyunjin didn’t cry himself to sleep while hugging your pillow. And every single one of those days, he’d dragged himself to practice and put on a face in front of the other boys, pretending that everything’s okay, when in reality he just wants to curl up into a ball and cry.

Four days and you still hadn’t been around to pick up your things. Being honest, he wished you already taken it all. It was getting harder. Coming home each day, expecting to find the apartment empty of your belongings. But when he walks through the door and finds everything in the exact same place as it was when he left in the morning gave him a false hope. A hope that maybe you won’t leave, that maybe you’ll come back and kiss him tell him that you’ll give him another chance. But knowing that that’s not going to happen just breaks his heart all over again.

It’s another two days before you show up. It’s 10 am on a Friday, and you didn’t want to come yet, knowing that the moment you do, it’ll feel real. That it’ll hit you like a truck that the best relationship of your life is truly over. But you didn’t want to wait too long either, after all, it’s better to rip the band-aid off quickly.

You slide the key into the lock, taking a deep breath before turning the handle and pushing the door open. The apartment is quiet, and something about stepping back into the place you called home feel uneasy. Almost as if you don’t belong there anymore. Similar to that feeling when you go to someone else’s house for the first time, and you don’t know how to act. That’s how you feel in the place you lived in for so long.

You close the door and take off your shoes, tightening your grip on the folded-up boxes in your arms. It feels weird. You don’t know what you were expecting but finding everything in the exact same place as it was when you last walked out seems strange. Things have changed, so why does every knick-knack remain in its place as if nothing were different.

You walk towards the bedroom, the only sound in the otherwise silent apartment is that of your soft footsteps on the hardwood flooring. You make it to the bedroom and place all the boxes down except for one. You open it up and step closer to your drawers of clothes, and slowly start placing the clothing into the box. You continue like this for a while, silently packing until your drawers are empty. There’s something about the silence of the house that makes you not want to make a sound. Normally you’d put on a playlist and dance as you pack, but not this time.

You move over to your bedside table, planning to start placing more of your things into various boxes. But in the corner of your eye, you stop something on your pillow that you hadn’t seen earlier. It’s a note. A piece of paper that’s been folded up neatly and placed gently on the pillow. Your name is written tidily on the front in Hyunjin’s handwriting, and just the sight alone almost has you crying. Part of your mind tells you to just scrunch up the piece of paper and toss it aside, but a bigger part of you desperately wants to read it. And so, you slowly pick up the note, take a seat on the edge of the bed, unfold it, and start reading.

dearest y/n

you said i probably wouldn’t be here when you come to pick up your stuff. so i decided to write you this so i can tell you what i want to say. well, assuming that you’ll actually read this, which i hope you do. i really really really hope you read this. gosh, i’m getting off track, sorry.

i want to tell you again just how sorry i am. but i know that no matter how many times i say it, and no matter what way i say it, it will never truly convey just how sorry i am. i wish from the bottom of my heart that this didn’t happen. i wish that i wasn’t such a dick and that i was there when you needed me. i have no excuse for not responding to you or calling you for so long. i’m so so sorry for hurting you. i’m not going to ask for your forgiveness, because i wouldn’t forgive myself if i were you. i already can’t forgive myself. all i want is to tell you how sorry i am, and how much i love you. and seeing as i can’t tell you in person, this note will have to do.

i love you, y/n. ever since we met, you’ve brought me more joy that i ever thought i could otherwise feel. you have the ability to make me laugh and blush like a teenager in love. you make my heart feel warm every time i see you. every time i get a message from you i smile. you make me feel safe and comfortable and i know that i can be vulnerable around you. you make me so giddy with happiness and love. i still get butterflies in my stomach every time i see you or talk to you. you make me smile like an idiot and it’s far too often that the boys have asked me why i’m smiling at my phone. you know that feeling when you’re so happy and smiley that it makes you feel all tingly in the best way? yeah, that’s how you make me feel. you make me laugh and you make me feel confident in myself. even when i feel like everything is crumbling around me, i know that you’re there to help me through. you’ve always been there for me when i need a shoulder to cry on and you have no idea just how much i regret not being there for you when you needed a shoulder. every single day i’m grateful that i got the chance to meet you and i’m especially grateful for the time that i got to call you mine. you’ll always have a special place in my heart. it hurts me when you’re hurting, and for me to be the reason that you’re upset and crying is the worst feeling in the world and i wish with everything i have that i was better. i’m so sorry, and i love you to the moon and back a billion times over.

love from hyunjin

The tears that you managed to keep at bay earlier fall freely now, a few dripping onto the page. Your fresh tears mix with Hyunjin’s dried ones at the bottom of the note, and you’re just glad they avoid smearing any of the ink. There’s a part of you, the part that wanted to discard the note without a second thought, that wants to hate Hyunjin. That wants to hate him for what he did, for making you feel so alone when you needed him. But you can’t. You’ve tried to listen to that part of you ever since you walked out of the apartment weeks ago. But you can’t bring yourself to hate him. It’s not easy when you’ve spent so long loving him. You reach into your pocket, pulling out your phone. You open your contacts and hit Hyunjin’s name, typing out a message to send to him.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

Hyunjin sits in the corner, taking a momentary breather from the dance. He’s been going overboard with practicing lately, trying to distract himself from the situation. And it’s worked, until he’s gotten back to the apartment where he’s reminded that you’re gone. His phone buzzes, showing a message from you.

y/n <3: are you busy?

He quickly types back, asking why you’re asking. He hits send, his heart racing, shocked that you’re messaging him. His phone buzzes again with your response.

y/n <3: i was gonna ask if you could come to the apartment but if you’re busy then i won’t

Hyunjin jumps up, walking over the Chan and showing him the message.

“Can I go?” he asks, itching to run out the door and head straight over to you.

“Yeah, okay, you can,” Chan answers. He’s the only person that Hyunjin’s told about what happened, and he’s been worried about the younger man. “If any of the staff asks where you are, I’ll tell them you felt sick and went home.”

Hyunjin nods, says his thanks and rushes out the door. He doesn’t stop until he reaches the apartment door, making the trip in record time. But as he reaches for the handle, he halts. This will be the first time he sees you in person since he left for tour. And it’s not until now that he starts to think about why you messaged. Maybe you read the message, maybe you want to keep the apartment and have him move out instead of you, maybe you want to say goodbye one last time in person. The only way for him to know for certain is to open the door and face you. He’s nervous, but he still opens the door with shaking hands.

“Y/n?” he calls out while closing the door and removing his shoes.

“Bedroom,” is your response, and Hyunjin’s breath hitches at the sound of your voice. He missed the sound; it’s been too long since he’s last heard your voice without you sounding like you’re crying. He heads towards the bedroom, taking one last deep breath before rounding the corner and seeing you. It takes everything in him. Everything to not immediately run up to you and engulf you in a hug just the way he wanted to when he first came home.

You pat the spot on the bed next to you, signalling for him to come and sit. He does just that, slowly walking over, not taking his eyes off of you. He’s missed you too much to look away. If this is the last time he gets to see you, he doesn’t want to miss a single moment. You don’t even look at him yet, instead keeping your eyes trained on your hands in your lap. You both sit in silence for a moment, neither of you wanting to speak first.

“I read the note,” you say, holding up the piece of paper in your hands for a brief moment. You pause, waiting to see if he’s going to say anything, but he doesn’t. “Do you really mean everything you wrote?”

“I do, I mean every last word. I love you so much and I’m so incredibly sorry for not answering any of your messages. It was stupid and I regret it so much.” You finally look up at him, and you find his eyes welling with tears.

“I need you to know how much it hurt me, and that I can’t forgive you. Not yet anyway. But what I can do is give you one more chance. As long as you promise not to do it again. Because if you hurt me like this again, then I will leave, and I won’t come back at all.”

“I promise! I promise that I will never do this again. I promise to be there for you when you need me, and I promise to never hurt you ever again.” It makes you giggle quietly, the way he hold his pinkie finger up to make a pinkie promise. It’s the way you’ve always promised each other things, so you don’t think twice as you link your finger with his. “So does this mean you’re not gonna leave?”

“Yeah,” you say, finally smiling. And Hyunjin’s heart warms at the sight. He loves your smile, it’s one of his favourite things in the entire world. He’s often said that if he were only able to see one thing for the rest of his life, it would be your beautiful smile. “Kiss me?”

You don’t have to ask twice before Hyunjin presses his lips to yours. It’s sweet, the emotions he pours into the kiss. Through it you can feel just how much he loves you, just how much he cares about you. You can feel the sorrow he’s felt and the guilt that’s eaten away at him. The pain, the heartbreak, but most of all you can feel the overwhelming joy he feels at being able to call you his again. But you’re just happy to finally be kissing your boyfriend for the first time in months.

#stray kids angst #stray kids fluff #skz fluff #skz angst #skz x reader #hyunjin fluff

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feelingisshit · 3 years

Text

Don’t Know Me - Stan Uris x Reader

Warnings - swearing, sexual mentions, victor and belch, this is my first time writing for IT

Stan and I had never really got along, it wasn’t like we always hated each other but we really never clicked as I did with the rest of the losers. We just never really had anything in common except our friends which obviously wasn’t enough because those friends started to become what was pushing us even farther apart. A snide remark from Richie here and there and then the rest of the group opting to believe Stan more often than not put more tension on our relationship and soon enough both of us did hate each other.

“God, why do you have to correct everything I say? You’re such a fucking know-it-all Stanley!” Stan scoffed and rolled his eyes so aggressively that I thought maybe they’d fall out of his damn head. “All you do is try to take control of everything I do or say! And you know what else Stan?” I ask, moving towards him and poking a finger into his chest. “What? What nonsense do you have to say this time (y/n)? Really I’d love to know!” this makes me fume and if we were in a cartoon you’d most likely see smoke shoot out of my ears. “That! That’s what else Stan! You act like I’m so ignorant when really I get the same grades if not better than you do. Just because I don’t like to use my free time to study new things like you and Ben do doesn’t mean I’m an idiot!” I stomp and all the losers shrink back away from us.

I look over at them and my eyes immediately when I see that Eddie and Ben are visibly worried. I turn back to Stan who’s looking down on me with an expression I can’t quite read. I sigh heavily before grabbing my bag off the dirt-covered planks of the clubhouse and heading to the ladder up. “W-Where are you y-y-you go-going (y/n)?” Bill stutters out and I shoot Stan a glare before looking back at Bill. “I need a breather so I’m going back into town, probably home. If you guys want to hang out again later that’s fine by me.” I say before taking the ladder back up to the surface and walking back towards town to get ice cream.

“Why? Why the fuck does he hate me so much?” I cried, leaning over my ice cream. God Stan pisses me off to no end but at least I’m really the only one who he treats this way. At least he’s nice to the rest of the losers. “He’d be so pretty if he wasn’t scowling all the time…” I say to myself before finishing my ice cream. As I finish my cone and start to get up I get pushed back down onto the curb. I look up and see the two remaining boys of Bowers’ gang above me with hesitant smiles and shifting eyes. They look down on me with much more venom than I’ve ever seen in Stan’s eyes when he looks at me. “What are you doing all alone on the pavement? Your group of fuck buddies tired of you already? Ya get too used for their liking?” Victor spat at me and I let out a laugh without thinking. He grabbed me by my top and pulled me closer to him, so close that I could smell the liquor he had been drinking. The scent hit my nose so hard that I didn’t get to hear what he had said before he slapped me, threw me to the pavement, kicked me in the side a few times, then ran for the hills with Belch following closely behind.

“Are you alright (y/n)?” I didn’t get to register who had said that to me before I started crying again. Whoever had come to check on me just sat beside me quietly listening and rubbing a hand over my back to help soothe me. While I cried I let everything go to this stranger, I told them about practically everything that had been bothering me. Like part of the traumatic events of earlier that summer and how much Stan being a major dickhead was affecting me. All they did was rub their hand up and down my back and before I had realized it, the sun was already almost set and I would need to be home soon for dinner. I quickly got up, wiped my eyes, gathered my belongings, and shouted a quick thanks before running off in the direction of my home without thinking to take a quick look back.

The next few times the losers club hung out Stan was fairly silent, opting to read a book instead of listening to mostly just Eddie and Richie bickering. The fourth hangout all Stan could seem to do was stare at me over the edge of his big book of birds. Yet, every time I locked eyes with him he looked away quickly, acting as if he hadn’t just been peering at me for at least fifteen minutes straight. That was about all I could stand to let him stare me down while I was trying to have a conversation with Ben and Beverly. “Why is he staring at you like that? Did something happen after you went to take a breather?” Bev questioned and Ben shuddered from the memory of how angry I had gotten. “I have no fucking clue to be completely honest with you. I really wish I did know what was going on in that pretty head of his…” I said without really thinking too much and both Ben and Bev did a double-take after I had said it. I regretted my words as soon as they had absentmindedly come out of my mouth and I laid my head in my hands, thankful that Stan was sitting on the other side of the clubhouse from us.

“(y/n)? What was that? I didn’t quite hear you.” Bev teased and Ben pushed her a bit but all she did was laugh and then lean onto Ben’s shoulder to listen to what I’ll have to say. “Seriously tho, Bev’s teasing aside, I never thought I’d hear you say something like that about one of us and especially not Stan.” I groan and lift my head to look around. Everyone was still caught up in their conversations to pay us any mind. The only person who even thought to give us attention was still just Stan. When I caught his eyes with mine he didn’t look away immediately like he had before, like he somehow knew we were talking about him. I wave my hand awkwardly and he simply nods back at me and then looks back down to keep reading his big bird book.

I leaned forward towards the two so that hopefully only they could hear me. “Yeah…” I sighed and shook my head “I think Stan is cute but that doesn’t change the fact that we still basically hate each other.” Ben nodded thoughtfully with a hand to his chin. Bev butts in, “I don’t know, I think something has changed. He’s never kept his distance like this.” She stated plainly, leaning back against the wooden post with her hands laced behind her head. “He usually just sits with everyone and then argues with you if you bring something up. Are you sure nothing happened between you two after you had left?” She asks closing her eyes to rest them, a soft smile resting on her lips.

“I mean yeah i’m sure, unless you guys sent him after me. Someone, I didn't get to see who, checked up on me after I got pushed around a bit by Victor and Belch outside the ice cream shop.” She coughed and sat straight up looking at me with wide eyes, trying to catch her breath. “Victor and Belch got to you and you didn’t think to mention it to any of us?!” Bev shouted which quickly gained the rest of the boys’ attention. The only eyes that didn't look up at Bev were Stan’s. In fact, he actually shrank even further into his book if that were even possible. I tried to wave everyone’s attention off but none of them even started to look away until I had proved that I was fine other than a few bruises. After they had all finally gone back to their prior conversations I told Ben and Bev what I had ended up saying to whoever was kind enough to comfort one of the loser kids. Ben and Bev exchanged looks but neither of them seemed to want to make an effort to express what they were thinking.

The next time we all got together again was at Bill’s place for a sleepover. And by then whatever remorse Stan had for me had passed because he was back to being obnoxious as usual, correcting my grammar, and whatever else he thought I was wrong about. “Ya know what Stan?” I finally spit out after he had corrected my grammar for maybe the twelfth time already that night. Everyone looked nervously between the two of us, scared that a screaming match would start soon. Stan cocked an eyebrow at me and my eye twitched before I started to answer, “Stan, I have no idea why you had mercy on me for a few days and I have absolutely no clue what crawled up your fucking ass and died that put you in a shit mood but I really don’t want to be in a bad mood tonight. Do you think you could at least be a little nicer to me for your friends so you don’t fuck up their time?” I was exhausted already and we had only been at Bill’s for maybe an hour. “Honestly I might just head to bed now so Stan plays nice since he only ever seems to really be upset with me. Or maybe I’ll just head home even so I’m not even in the same house to be upset with. Oh, and Stan?” He tilted his head questioningly. “Maybe get to know a girl a bit more before you hate her cause honestly you don’t even really know me.” I breathed and gathered my belongings. I tried to leave too but Bill was one step ahead of me.

“P-please do-don’t leave (y/n). You can go l-lay down in-in my room if y-you need a bre-breather.” I nod and smile softly, “Thanks Billy.” I say before setting my bag back down on the floor by the couch and heading up to Bill’s room for a break from the chaos. After a few minutes of getting to lay in silence and stare at the ceiling a knock sounded at Bill’s bedroom door. “Come in,” I say, half expecting Ben, Bev, or Eddie to be the one at the door but when I look over at the door after it had opened I see Stan standing there awkwardly in the frame of the door. “I said you could come in Stan, I don’t know why you’re up here but believe me you’re welcome to come in none the less.” I say looking back up at the ceiling. I hear the floorboards creak and feel the bed dip beside me. I hear Stan mumble something and I sigh and sit up on the bed. “I couldn’t hear what you said, you’re mumbling.” I state, looking straight at Stan whose face is red and his golden brown eyes are shifting quite a lot. “I’m sorry, okay!” he suddenly shouted and it startled me since he doesn’t usually get very loud.

“What?” I say more out of confusion than anything else and Stan stands and starts to head towards the door. I jump up and grab at his wrist to stop him. “I didn’t come in here to fight you, I’m sorry. I’ll try to leave you be from now on. That’s all I came to say.” he rubs the back of his neck with his free hand nervously. “You sure? It sorta seems like there’s more you want to say.” I ask and he sighs, “I was the person who was with you after Victor and Belch got to you and I didn’t realize how much what i said actually affected you. So, I’m sorry for everything I’ve said to or about you.” He apologizes with a red face and I chuckle lightly. “I’m sorry too Stan, I haven’t been all that honest with you either.” He tilts his head in confusion and I shake my head and continue, “I don’t hate you Stan, I honestly wish I did after everything you’ve done and said to me to piss me off over the years. Really I,” I pause, taking a deep breath before I admit this to him.

“I honestly think you’re pretty cute, handsome, pretty, whatever word you’d prefer.” I manage to spit out with a heated face and this time not from anger but from slight embarrassment of admitting something I’ve only told Bev and Ben. He just stands there staring at me in awe or shock, I couldn’t quite tell which. I place a hand on his shoulder and pull him down to my level. I place a soft kiss on his cheek before starting to head back to the group sitting in Bill’s living room. “I guess you do know me huh Stan Uris?” I whisper to myself before walking into the living room and sitting down among the other losers.

#stanley uris x reader #stanley uris #it #it chapter two #it fanfiction #fanfiction #x reader #bill denbrough #beverly marsh #ben hanscom #eddie kaspbrak #richie tozier #mike hanlon #it chapter one #pennywise #shit's fics

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waywardfangirl · 3 years

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For the fantastic @fight-surrender: You are a wonderful person with a brilliant mind and a kind heart, and I am so happy to know you! I really enjoyed the prompts you suggested for the Secret Snowflake exchange this year, so to give you something fluffy and happy for your birthday I combined a few of them into one sweet and silly fic - I hope that you like it! 🖤

A big thank you goes out to @carryonvisinata for her wonderful beta work and for making this fic even better for such an incredible friend 🖤 Purr-fect Strangers

Rated: General Audiences Word Count: 3208 Chapters: 1/1 Simon

"Die Hard? Really?"

I'm struggling to make the Redbox give me my DVD. Video vending machines sounded like a good idea when I couldn't find anywhere to stream my favorite movie, but the obstinate thing in front of me and the condescending voice behind me are now making me reconsider my choices.

"What's wrong with Die Hard?" I demand, momentarily giving up on retrieving my video to take some of my frustration out on the prick watching me.

Unfortunately, when I turn around to scowl at him, I make eye contact with one of the most attractive people I've ever seen. He's tall, with dark hair escaping the bun on top of his head and falling around his face, and a perfectly tailored suit hugging every inch of his body right on down to his shiny Chelsea boots. My brain shorts out, and he sneers at me.

"There’s nothing wrong with it, per se. But you have a near unlimited assortment of cinema to choose from, and you've selected Die Hard?"

(Read the rest on ao3, or keep reading here)

I scoff.

"Look, mate, some of us don't feel the need to watch pretentious films just to feel better than other people. I like Die Hard. I'm going to watch it while eating pizza and relaxing in joggers, and I refuse to feel bad about enjoying that."

He looks a bit startled, and his cheeks take on a slightly pink tinge, but he just arches an eyebrow at me. (And manages to make that look unfairly hot too, the prat.)

"What movie are you renting?" I say it like a challenge, and he pushes past me.

He deftly removes my DVD from the stubborn machine and thrusts it at me, before turning back around to get his own. I loiter behind him, just like he did to me, ready to see what movie he thinks is better than Die Hard.

"Two Weeks Notice?" I exclaim, when I see the poster pop up on the screen. "You're ridiculing Die Hard, but getting a rom-com for yourself? Unbelievable."

He pushes past me and turns up his nose. My blood boils for so many different reasons, and it's work to hold myself still.

"This has Hugh Grant in it. My tastes are superior."

Then he swans off, and I'm left standing on the kerb.

Baz

A year into my time at university, I started treating myself to a monthly visit to Sephora. It was easily excusable then, with parties every weekend to justify each new purchase, but I've kept up the tradition since graduating. (Retail therapy and good skin care never hurt anyone. And a little eyeliner does wonders for one's self esteem.)

This month, I'm browsing for something sparkly. My eyes are grey, but with a dark, glittery liner I think they might stand out a little more. I'm just testing one of the pencils on the back of my hand when I see him.

Blond hair, plain blue eyes, and a constellation of freckles and moles across his skin. The most lovely man I have ever seen, with the worst taste in movies, and (I'm sure) a well-deserved hatred for me.

For all that I try to appear cool and confident, my facade sometimes fails me. When I get flustered, I become cruel. The man renting Die Hard was so pretty that all I could do was insult him and then curse myself for it the entire way home. I couldn't even properly enjoy Hugh Grant, as mired as I was in self-loathing. And now, whatever second chance to impress him I've been granted with has surely been ruined by my actions last time.

I keep my head down and steal glances at him through my eyelashes.

He is entirely out of his element, that much is obvious right away. I watch him ask one of the shop assistants for help, and she points him in the direction of a display. His brow furrows as he picks up different containers, and he’s ridiculously precious and hopeless as he holds a lipstick tube next to a garish eyeshadow palette and closes one eye to look at them. (What is he even doing?)

Finally, his confusion seems to win out, and he turns to look around for help, when he suddenly spots me. I've been caught out; I can't pretend now like I haven't been staring, and he scowls a little as we make eye contact. I arch an eyebrow, watch as his face grows pink in anger, and decide I hate myself enough to try talking to him again.

"That's really not your shade."

"What?" It's a simple word, horribly enunciated, and does nothing to quell the wrinkle between his eyes.

"The purple. I don't think it would flatter you. Furthermore, that lipstick clashes horribly with every color in that palette."

He turns a bright red and starts to splutter. I am hopelessly endeared.

"That's not- I, I don't- it isn't-"

"Oh, calm down, there's nothing wrong with wearing makeup," I say, flashing him the back of my hand with the eyeliner tests on it. "You just need to pick a better shade." I pluck a different palette (for blue eyes) and a lipstick in a true red from the display and hand them over. "Something like this."

He stares at them dumbly for a moment, his mouth hanging open. (Mouth breather.)

"You think I should wear this?"

"I think it would flatter you if you chose to wear makeup. That purple will do you no favors." I sneer at the garish eyeshadow still in his hand.

"It's for my friend!" he finally bursts out.

"Are you mad at her?" It's a reasonable question, that eyeshadow is truly appalling.

"No? It's her birthday next week, and she said that she wanted to have some makeup for date nights and things."

"Are you in love with her?"

"No!" No hesitation at all. "No, no way. Penny is like my sister. She's my best friend. We're not…" he trails off, and I'm strangely reassured. He still probably hates me, but at least there is one woman in the world that he’s not dating, so my odds have improved marginally.

"Don't get your pants in a twist. I just thought you might be, since that eyeshadow would certainly drive away her current boyfriend."

He sticks out his chin and seems to decide something.

"Fine. What should I get for her, then?" The “if you know so much” is left unsaid.

I'm not really an expert, despite my monthly purchases, but I'll take any excuse I can get to linger around this starburst of a boy for a few moments more.

"Does she wear makeup normally?" He shakes his head no. "Then perhaps start with something more subtle for her." I take the offending palette away and hand him a more subdued one, with a faint shimmer. "Do you think this would look nice on her?"

He thinks hard for a moment, then pulls out his phone, swiping at the lock screen and turning it to face me.

"This is her."

His home screen background is a picture of the two of them, cheeks pressed together and grinning like crazy under the summer sun. His curls are being tossed by the wind, and he looks like a bronze Adonis. I think my heart actually skips a beat at the sight.

"That palette will be fine then. This lipstick, too," I add, handing him a plum shade. "Do you need anything else?" I ask, and then cringe when I sound like I'm working instead of flirting.

He shakes his head.

"No, this is brilliant, thanks."

He still looks a bit confused, and he bites his lip as he looks down at the makeup in his hand - the makeup for his friend, and the things I picked out for him.

I don't want to go, but I can't figure out any way to prolong our conversation.

"You should get that one," he says, pointing to one of the lines on my hand. I raise an eyebrow in question. He's right, but what does this mean? Is he flirting? Does he want me to wear eyeliner? Is he just trying to repay me for helping him? "Yeah. Definitely that one."

He raps his knuckles on the counter beside us twice, and then wanders towards the check out.

It's not until I'm trying to fall asleep that I realize - he bought the makeup for himself too.

Simon

One of my foster fathers had a workshop, and I spent a happy summer watching him build a table and matching chairs for the dining room. I didn't get to stay to see it completed, because one of his biological children kept stealing money out of his mom's purse and blaming me, but I still enjoyed the time I had spent watching woodworking. I liked it so much that when Penny and I graduated and got a flat together, I saved up to buy a few tools. I don't make anything major, but I've built small shelves and a side table and a pan organizer for the flat, and I really like it.

Recently, Penny has been complaining about not being able to reach everything in the kitchen, so while she's still at work I stop by the B&Q to pick up some wood for a step stool. I'm heading to the check out when I see him - the mean makeup guy. (Although he was actually quite nice when we were talking about makeup. He was just rude when we were getting our movies.)

He's dressed casually today, in tight dark jeans and a warm grey sweater, with his hair falling in loose waves around his face. He's glaring down at two wrenches, and I hate that he still looks so good when he's glowering.

Before I even register what's happening, my feet have carried me over to him.

"D'ya need help?"

He startles, and turns lovely grey eyes up to look at me. It's work not to gasp. He’s wearing eyeliner. I'm not entirely sure, but I think it may even be the eyeliner I told him to buy.

"The sink in my kitchen is leaking. I watched a tutorial on YouTube, and it should be easy enough to fix, but I don't have the proper tools."

He goes back to glaring at the wrenches, and I lean over to take a look.

“You want that one.”

“Why? How do you know?”

“Well, it’s adjustable. You can change it within reason, so as long as your plumbing isn’t something incredibly out of the ordinary it should fit just fine.”

He looks surprised (and maybe a bit like he wants to attack me, although I try to ignore that).

“How do you know that?”

I laugh.

“Basic home maintenance, mate, I’ve had to fix a leaky sink before too, believe it or not.”

I grin at him until one corner of his mouth tips upward in response.

“Thanks,” he says, his cheeks flushing a little. “I’ll get this one then. Yes. Thank you. Have a nice evening.”

He strides off, once again leaving me feeling a bit dazed.

He looks really good in eyeliner.

Baz

When Fiona discovered I hadn’t left the apartment in a week, she called in the cavalry. Daphne showed up at my door with a casserole and some flowers, and within minutes she had the kitchen feeling like a place that was less utility space and more home.

“Basil, Fiona is worried about you.” I rolled my eyes, despite knowing it wouldn’t get me anywhere. “I’m worried about you, too. You spend so much time by yourself, and you hardly ever go out to see your friends or enjoy the city.”

“I’m fine. Thank you for your concern.”

“Basil,” she had said, and that time it was a warning. “It’s not healthy for anyone to spend this much time alone.”

“What, do you expect me to get a cat?”

Daphne smiled, and I knew that I had said the wrong thing.

“Yes, actually. And,” she said, before I could object, “Fiona thought you should too. In fact, she made it a condition of your continued occupancy of this flat. We both think it might be nice for you to have someone else around to talk to.”

I arched an eyebrow.

“And you want me to talk to a cat?”

Daphne just gave me a Mona Lisa smile, handed me a plate filled with food, and told me when she left later that evening that I had forty-eight hours to send her a picture of a cat. (I asked what I should do if I didn’t like any of the cats I saw. Or if they didn’t like me. She said I had to at least prove that I tried.)

So, this morning, I made my way to the nearest RSPCA and talked to strangers for the first time in over a week. I told them that I was looking to adopt a cat, and they immediately led me to a room filled with individual cages and an assortment of felines. They said I could play with any of the cats that I wanted, and now I’m staring into the eyes of a fluffy orange tabby.

The tabby meows at me, and I swear that she’s telling me to get lost. I guess cats can tell when you’re out of your depth.

I stroll down the aisle and read the names given to each cat. It’s been years since I last had a pet and even then, the husky my family had wasn’t my sole responsibility. I was in charge of feeding him, but there was always someone else making sure that I did. And really, we only adopted him when my pediatrician suggested that an animal might help me after my mother died. Daphne is probably trying to do the same thing again now. (Is this how one becomes a crazy cat lady? Depression, anxiety, OCD, and an unwillingness to tolerate therapy?)

I keep walking slowly until I feel a tug on my sleeve. I look down, and a little orange paw ending in one very sharp claw has latched on to me. I unhook it before my sweater can snag, and then look into the kennel. There are two kittens, each only about ten weeks old according to their cards, and the orange one is peering up at me with big blue eyes. Its littermate is asleep in the corner, curled into a fluffy black puffball, but the tabby is ready to play. His tail twitches, and he pounces immediately when I wiggle a finger between the bars. He catches my fingertip in a far more gentle grasp than I would have imagined, then looks at me with what can only be described as pure adoration.

“Excuse me,” I say, moving my finger some more and feeling small claws dig in. Then again, louder, to get the attention of the woman, “Excuse me. Can I see this one?”

The woman comes over and flips the latch, then reaches in and comes out with a handful of fur and knives. The kitten opens its mouth in a fierce imitation of a vampire, then stretches it further as it lapses into a yawn. We spend the better part of an hour in a bright, cheerful room, just the kitten and I. At first it chases a string that I drag along the ground and runs after balls with bells in them, but then it calms down and curls up in my lap to sleep.

I’m petting it and cooing softly to it, trying to ignore the fact that Daphne and Fiona were both right about this whole thing, when the door to the room opens again.

“Oh. It’s you,” says the most beautiful man I have ever seen. My face flushes when I remember our last encounter and I pray he doesn’t remember my ignorance. (Of course he does. I didn’t know how to select a wrench. I am incapable of basic home repair and he knows it.)

“Do you two know each other?” The woman from before is back, this time holding the other kitten from the same cage, and looking between the two of us. “These kittens aren’t technically a bonded pair, but they are siblings, the only two remaining from their litter, and it would be lovely if they could still see each other.”

“Err…” the man says, shifting his weight.

“We’ve met in passing a few times now,” I say, trying to avoid encouraging this line of questioning.

“Great!” she says, clapping her hands brightly after handing the kitten off. “I’ll leave all of you to get better acquainted then!”

For a moment, there’s just awkward silence. Neither of us are looking at each other, both focusing on our respective kittens. Then, his kitten turns into the feline equivalent of a slinky, oozes out of his grasp, and runs over to tap my leg once before running away again. It hides behind his legs, and all I can see is a black tail winding around his ankles.

We both laugh, and the ice is broken.

“I’m Simon,” he says, and smiles at me. It’s the same radiant smile I remember from his lockscreen. It feels like looking into the sun, and I bask in it.

“Basil. Although my friends call me Baz.”

“Are you going to…” he trails off, but gestures to my cat.

“Yes,” I look down and give it a scratch under the chin. “I’m going to adopt it.”

“Same here,” Simon says, and then he blushes. “I mean, unless it rips my face off in the next few minutes, but I think this is the one.”

“Do you know which one you have?” Their names and genders were on the cage, but it didn’t specify who was who.

“No idea. I’m going to rename mine anyway though, I didn’t like either of those names.”

“I was planning on doing the same thing. If I’m going to have a pet, it needs to have a proper name befitting its personality. Not something mundane like Fluffy.” I scowl, and he laughs.

As his kitten comes over to touch its nose to my kitten, Simon clears his throat.

“So, um, like she said, they’d probably be happy to have playdates or whatever. I mean, since we’re getting them. And since we keep running into each other. It might make sense to, you know, exchange numbers?”

“Yes!” I say, far too eagerly. “I mean, that seems reasonable. It would be more convenient than waiting to happen upon you in the Waitrose choosing inferior crisps to set up a future meeting.”

He smiles. “Well, yeah, there’s that. And this way, it’ll be easier for me to ask you out, ”

Then the absolute nightmare sits down beside me and hands me his phone. He texts me immediately once I enter my contact info.

Unknown Number (11:27 AM) This is Simon Snow

Unknown Number (11:27 AM) Your cat is cute.

Unknown Number (11:27 AM) So are you

Unknown Number (11:28 AM) Wanna get dinner sometime? ;)

I blush, and send him a reply.

Baz (11:29 AM) I thought you’d never ask.

#snowbaz fic #Purr-fect Strangers #a gift for a friend!#fuff #my fic

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coffeeandcalligraphy · 3 years

Text

Something Held | Feeding Habits Update #8

Hi all!

Not me not realizing it’s been 3 months since I posted a Feeding Habits update hahahahahaha. Today let’s chat chapter nine, SOMETHING HELD. This also marks the last chapter in Harrison’s POV so prepare to say goodbye to this icon! TW: body horror, mental illness, trauma

Just a reminder: This is my original work and plagiarism of any form will not be tolerated.

Scene outline, excerpts & a little reflection on making difficult decisions that my not particularly benefit the book but benefit you as the writer under the cut because this update is GIGANTIC.

General taglist (please ask to be added or removed):

@if-one-of-us-falls, @qatarcookie, @chloeswords, @alicewestwater, @laughtracksonata, @shylawrites, @ev–writes, @jaydewritesfiction, @jennawritesstories @eowynandfaramir, @august-iswriting, @aetherwrites

Scene Breakdown

Scene A:

It has been two weeks since Lonan found Harrison at his shared apartment with Suzanna and things are getting strange. Lonan and Suz are getting closer, Harrison is getting more distant and slowly losing it. One morning, Harrison wakes hearing Lonan and Suz’s laughter, and crawls to the kitchen to investigate. When he reaches them, Suz is evening out Lonan’s hacked haircut and they’re both sobbing.

Scene B:

Shortly after this bizarre encounter, Suzanna steps out of the apartment for a breather because her son is sort of terrifying her! So Lonan and Harrison double-team to clean up Lonan’s hair shavings. Harrison begins eating the hair while Lonan stares and they have a conversation about the state of their friendship.

Scene Ba:

This scene is gross and confusing! More hair is ingested. My god.

Scene Bb:

After the above ordeal, both boys rinse off because they’ve been rolling?? around?? in??? hair?? but also?? things don’t stop being a little gross

Scene C:

An air of calm finally settles over the apartment. Lonan brews earl grey tea for him and Harrison to share and Harrison asks if he abandoned Lonan in the final chapter of Moth Work. Lonan doesn’t really answer this question so Harrison continues on his confused, but finally lucid (one-sided) conversation, admitting he understands he burdens his mother, who still has not returned. They circle back to the question of abandonment and Lonan answers Harrison the way he wants to be answered (yes), and this is a moment of freeing, where he feels some sort of responsibility in this irresponsible new life he’s led in NYC. They sort of agree to be friends again.

Scene D:

The boys head into the city to find Suzanna, heading to a bakery near the Hudson River. Lonan drives in his used car, a strange experience since Harrison has not seen him drive in years. Taking the opportunity, he searches through the car and finds a map in the glove compartment. The map is erratically scribbled over and it takes him to moment to realize this is Lonan’s map and the first indication that Lonan, who he has assumed is this stable, perfect person, is not as unscathed as he seems.

The boys pass the waterfront and Lonan nearly crashes the car into an oncoming truck. Harrison regains control of the vehicle tucking them into a side street. Shaken, Lonan apologizes for the mess he’s created both physically from his nosebleed and between Harrison and his mother, which gets Harrison a little antsy because he doesn’t like the suggestion that he’s going to leave. Lonan clarifies, stating he won’t if that’s what Harrison wants.

Scene E:

Later, everyone is back at home and Harrison wakes up to a Lonan-less bed. He gets up to investigate the strange dripping coming from the bathroom and opens the door to find Lonan precariously teetering over a sink filled with water. Harrison, concerned, moves him away and tries to ask why Lonan is presumably going underwater, but doesn’t push. They both stand on opposite sides of the bathroom until the sun rises.

My process:

Honestly, writing this chapter was a huge up and down. The first half of it came much easier to me, but the rest was a literal hellfire to get through. I think I was incredibly fatigued with writing in Harrison’s POV as I’d been writing it since June (I finished this chapter in either December or January). This book has been a pain in the ass to write despite me liking what it is, and I really think it being the only place I’ve physically “gone” since the pandemic makes it even harder to write. I felt claustrophobic in Harrison’s POV since I’ve been writing it for half a year, and in a lil ~breakdown~ my beautiful sister reminded me of something she’d previously told me, “it's not about what works, it's about what you want”.

Let’s chat about this for a sec! I think I was watching a Harmony Nice video on her “hard-to-swallow” self-care, and she basically outline (I’m paraphrasing here) that it’s critical we care for ourselves in ways that might not necessarily be easy to do. Honestly, leaving Harrison’s POV is one of those hard-to-swallow self-care things I literally had to do because my mental health was not happy with me! Y’all know my boys are very close to me, and I’m not picking favourites but Lonan is 2500 times easier for me to write with at the moment. I think Harrison’s situation and how he deals with it is much too similar to mine but in a way that is difficult to place (Lonan and I are unfortunately similar but in a way that is easier for me to understand about myself!). From the beginning of writing his POV I’ve been in Struggleville, but kept pushing through hoping the next chapter would be “the one”. Not to burst my own bubble but there is no such thing in the state of mind I was in! I was pushing myself to find something that doesn’t exist because my brain was really not equipped to do what I needed it to do. I really, really did not want to quit on Harrison’s POV, but I had to, not because I don’t like him (he’s my baby) but because I needed a moment to myself. I felt way too seen in ways I don’t really know how to address in myself, so writing him was horribly frustrating at all times (my fault, not his).

My characters really do live in my head rent-free lol. They live in there! They take up space! They take up energy! They take up concentration, and resources I need for myself! Empathy is so integral to my process, that I give a little part of myself in everything I write. This is a blessing because I really get to dig my heels into the mind of another person, but a curse because I’m not a machine (and sometimes I forget that). It is a lot of emotional energy and labour to give everything you have to fictional people. I don’t think an artist needs to be tortured to create good art (this is not it!) but I never truly practiced this well? In my attempt to be empathetic, I was torturing myself a little bit, not going to lie!

So to combat this, I decided I needed a change. Hence, this chapter is imperfect and probably needs some stuff added to it, and while I’ve only written little of Lonan’s second POV, I’m feeling a lot better! It’s nice to get “outside” in a different place lmao this is so sad (pandemic writing things).

Excerpts:

I wrote the beginning of this in a livestream I hosted on my YouTube channel! There’s also a shoutout here to my dragon tree Lisa <3 miss u boo

Two weeks go by. Lonan sleeps on the couch. Harrison wakes up at dawn—no earlier, no later. Suzanna buys a plant: a Madagascar dragon tree she names Lisa. June grows into the collar. Lonan plays sudoku in the newspaper. Harrison learns to bake focaccia, gluten-free, whole wheat. Suzanna learns to palm read, tells Lonan he’s experienced great betrayal (they stop the reading immediately; Lonan goes back to the newspapers). Harrison begins burning incense at sunrise—frankincense. The dragon tree nearly dies (Lonan saves it). It rains every weekday that contains the letter T. Lonan shifts stacks of soggy newspapers onto the breakfast table, answers crosswords with the help of Suzanna (four across, nine letters, Something held). Harrison burns a baguette. Suzanna buys a hanging basket of pothos. The power goes out for two days and the icebox floods the kitchen tile (Lonan mops it with old newspapers, the ink running like jellyfish). June barks for the first time. Harrison eats a bundle of dried bay leaves. Suzanna waters the plants with rainwater, icewater, wrung into a coffee tin. Harrison leaves the stove on while sautéing shallots (he eats them whole). Lonan wakes up feverish and fills out four newspaper crosswords, then falls asleep on the coffee table. Suzanna moulds panna cotta in coffee mugs and shares the batch with Lonan when they won’t tip out. Lonan teaches her how to propagate the pothos and soon they have twenty empty cans of cuttings poking from the windowsills. They rearrange the furniture, the couch facing the kitchen instead of the TV, the dining table right outside the bathroom, then put it all back the next day. They birdwatch from the tiny window with binoculars and a magnifying glass. They sort coupons. Whittle soaps. Watch Norwegian films without the subtitles. Discuss cliff diving. Make matching anklets (blue beads, elastic string, the plastic clacking how Harrison knows they’re coming). All of this they do as Harrison lies on his bed for two weeks, counting the corners of his ceiling and trying to determine a way to multiply them telepathically.

This is the very next paragraph!

At first he assumes they’re laughing. The sun nearly rising between other high rises, blotting his room with dawn. This is not a surprise. They are probably making pancakes out of buckwheat and discussing the hilarity of whole grains. They are probably laughing at store-bought cherry preserves. Too sour. Their cheeks puckered. But then the laughs get louder, and the sun rises higher and it’s not laughing at all, but gasping.

Here’s Harrison crawling!! is this straight out of the exorcist probably!

Harrison’s instinct is to crawl. As if his smallness against the ground will stop anyone from hearing him, even before he unlocks his door. On hands and knees he shuffles from his bed to his doorframe, edges the door open with his shoulder. On hands and knees he hikes through the hallway, the gasping getting louder, shuffling until he sees them. Lonan sitting on one of the kitchen stools, a grocery bag wound around his throat. Suzanna clacking scissors in two hands so their blades ping in the sun. Her fingers loped around his hair, knuckle-deep, the blades snipping, the gasps growing, them both sobbing, the hair falling, the sun stalking, their bodies rocking. Harrison takes it in from his crawl. Experiences it all on his knees.

So this excerpt seems really you know, normal:

They clean up the hair. Harrison with the dustpan, Lonan with the broom. Harrison still kneels. Lonan still cries. The only thing that has changed since crawling into the kitchen is that Suzanna is taking a walk around the apartment complex. She needs air. Room. If she cries long enough, a cigarette. So Lonan sweeps. Harrison collects. This repeats.

The kitchen smells of nutmeg. Freshly grated from a whole club over espresso, Harrison imagines. He smells this as he tracks Lonan with the dustpan, hovering its open belly for clippings of hair. And Lonan is so compliant, brushes cuttings of himself onto the plastic surface so Harrison can trash it. As Harrison looks on from his knees, Lonan diffuses in sunlight, the window illuminating only his edges. A body so familiar Harrison knows exactly where it flares with light or absorbs it. A body with skin like mulberry silk. A body he could recreate in charcoal with his eyes closed. His archangel translucent and luminescing.

Skip this excerpt if you don’t want to read about Harrison eating hair!! i’m sorry!

Harrison picks a bundle of fallen hair from the dustpan. It’s airy from being recently shampooed, smells faintly of pear, maybe even ginger. This hair, touched by a woman, or a few women, and cut by one, or a few, in different contexts. Eliza’s hands deveining the roots, and then Suzanna’s, trying to fix them. So Harrison eats it. That bundle like a toothpicked cube of cheese. He puts it in his mouth and swallows.

Lonan watches like he’s unconcerned. He watches this feral animal—Harrison must be something feral, starved of something and ravaged by that hunger. Chewing mouthfuls of hair like that will quell of him of what is missing, if there even is anything missing, something unidentifiable in this bland circuit of New York City, this time-loop of sonhood, this fresh start a dousing of flatness. As Harrison eats, he understands he consumes that something like it’s holy communion, reuniting with that something by absorbing it. And still, that hunger moves him, from finishing the dustpan of hair, and closer to Lonan.

“Do you think I’m a bad friend?” Harrison asks, wringing the corner of his lips clean from loose hairs. From this perspective, Harrison on his knees collecting hair, Lonan’s eyes look bluer. Maybe their saturation has nothing to do with the angle, but Harrison feels this is true; his eyes are so crystalline, they are temptingly edible. Like two plump blueberries. Or a matching set of clear glass marbles. Harrison swallows. He repeats, “Do you think I’m a bad friend?”

Lonan swallows, adjusts his grip on the broom. “We’d have to be friends for me to answer that.”

“Aren’t we?”

And here’s the rest of this scene!

“You’re my mother’s friend,” Harrison says. “She trusts you.” He crawls closer to Lonan. “You’ve got secrets. Rituals. Tell me her favourite finger-food and who she wants to marry.”

“I don’t know your mother that well.”

Harrison wraps a handle around Lonan’s ankle. A muscle there jumps like a dolphin breaching the water. He’s memorized this plane of skin, could rebuild it from single grains of sand while blindfolded. He furls his hands across its surface, unfurls.

“You garden with her,” Harrison says. “You share a plate for dessert.”

“She’s kind to me.”

“You cook her breakfast.” Harrison tugs on Lonan’s ankle, knowing it won’t raze him, knowing he’ll come down anyway. “You know the exact temperature she drinks her coffee down to the last digit.”

“I’m trying to be hospitable.”

“You’re trying to be a son.”

Lonan kneels. Crouching so they’re huddled over each other, so it’s nearly impossible to distinguish one body from the other, which one sinks, which one rises.

“My mother’s only got one son to live with,” Harrison says, his voice thin from a clogged throat. He reaches for Lonan’s scalp, scrapes a line down the centre, now an even plane of cropped hair. “And it isn’t me.”

“You’re unstable,” Lonan says, burrowing his face either into a cabinet or Harrison’s shoulder—neither can tell. “You won’t let yourself have friends.”

Farther, toward the tile they go, a pile of hair scattering. “My mother wants me to forgive you by replacing me with you.”

“She’s grieving,” Lonan says.

Harrison loses his hands. He doesn’t know where they disappear to, if he touches skin or tile. “I haven’t died,” he says. Skin or tile. Skin or tile.

Here’s an excerpt from scene C ft. this memoir bit from the time I was shocked that this university I visited had real FANCY teabags:

Lonan brews tea. Earl grey, from a tin. Harrison doesn’t know why he expects it to come from a bag. An individual paper sachet, or if he’s lucky, one of those fancy ones woven from nylon. But it’s from a tin. Two teaspoons into the bottom of a single mug they pass back and forth, wordless at the kitchen table. Strung in the bathroom, Harrison’s t-shirt hang-dries, nearly figure-like, an unfilled phantom. He tugs a throw around his shoulders and stares at his hands. Each crest of cuticle. Each bulb of knuckle. Each maze of fingerprints.

He is material. This is fact. Not just outlines. He’s got skin that goes pinkish when pinched, a pulse that juts from his wrist, two eyes that burn at the scent of lavender, ten fingers. But as he holds his hands up, studying them in the faint moonlight, it is difficult to believe his tangibility. In the city, he has lived as a haze. Fogging over grocery stores, eateries, nondescript. Fresh start has always implied an air of zest, a zing that should have fueled him to plant roots in this restart. But Harrison is rotten, aphid infected, overwatered, underwatered, then not watered at all. He flexes his fingers. He pops the joints. He tries to press his pinkie to the back of his hand. But none of this brings him back to himself. His hands continue feeling like someone else’s. His body invisibly marred in some way he can’t reverse, disconnected in retaliation.

Harrison reflecting on his relationship with his mother:

Suzanna has never left him alone this long, and to her detriment. He imagines her now, living the life she always should’ve lived, the life she lived before he crosscut his way to her most important thing. She’s probably at a salon, having her hair twirled with a round brush, making dinner reservations at some place always too expensive for two (extra points if it has a French name, more if she has to wait a half hour before getting a table). When she talks to her stylist, she doesn’t mention a son, but plans to travel up the west coast, all the way into Canada if she’s feeling adventurous. She’ll buy crime novels she’ll never read at duty-free, reapply a lipstick that cost her a paycheck in the reflection of a hand-dryer. After the salon, she’ll meet a woman at a wine bar, converse about children, and still not mention a son. Suzanna’s singleness will be a celebration.

The boys finally trucing it out <3

When Harrison finally opens his eyes, Lonan is staring at him. His eyes two reels of the Pacific. They cycle in blue. So much of him has changed, and yet he is still the same. Beyond the haircut, Lonan isn’t that much different. He can’t be much different. But as Harrison searches, splaying his palm on the wet table, he knows this is untrue. Lonan is hollower than he was last summer. A little more haunted. They have this in common, then.

“Can we be friends?” Harrison asks. With his pinkie, he finds himself writing against the damp table just as he did Lonan’s scalp not too long ago. Lonan’s gaze follows each loop of each letter, Harrison’s steady left hand.

Lonan is consumed studying what Harrison has written, where each letter connects in near-cursive scrawl. After a moment, he nods, once, twice, and then reverts to staring at the table’s new inscription. On its surface are two words: something held.

The boys in the car like old times <3

Lonan drives. This is strange because Harrison has not seen Lonan drive a car in over a year. Usually, Harrison takes the wheel, but tonight he guides them through the city, in search of Suzanna. His car is clean. This isn’t unexpected. A cherry-coloured hatchback that rattles whenever he makes a left turn. It smells vaguely of cotton air-freshener and the undercurrent of cigarettes.

“You still smoke?” Harrison pokes at the plastic nob for the radio, and it crackles to life. Synth and electric guitar pulse in 4/4 time.

“I bought it used.”

They’ve agreed to get to know one another while they search for Suzanna. Another restart, some attempt at an honest hour. As Lonan changes lanes, Harrison pokes open the car’s glove compartment. A tin of nicotine gum falls on the mat. A hot pink feather pokes from underneath the driver’s manual. Harrison hauls out both, runs the feather along the gum tin, then the back of his hand, and then Lonan’s cheek. When that rouses nothing, he unlocks the tin and removes a slit of gum. Right as he’s about to pop it in his mouth, Lonan says, “I wouldn’t eat that.”

“Why?” Harrison asks. “Did you lace it?”

“Like I said, I bought the car used.”

Harrison puts the gum back, and then the feather. He sticks his hand farther into the glove compartment, feels around until he drags out a map of the state, bilgy and half torn. He unfolds it, careful to avoid the rips, and flattens it against the dashboard. Almost immediately, it wilts against the cold, faded from time in the sun. It’s been marked up. Half with pencil, half with a red ballpoint pen. After a few minutes, Harrison understands the previous owner’s route. Or at least he does at first. Following the red pen arrows, they started at Long Island, then reached Manhattan. Then a much longer arrow takes him from Manhattan to Geneva, and then Buffalo. And then the red pen circles, once, twice, three times, four times, and what is in the centre doesn’t even have a city name. What it does say is HELP, in all-caps, each letter then melting into an illegible scrawl. Harrison sees bits of words: Luke, woe, hands, clay, guard, stray, each wobbly and disappearing into the other, becoming cities of their own, destroying others. He tries to understand the route, but the farther he pours over the map, recircling each line with his finger, the more lost he gets in the ink.

“Is this your map?” Harrison asks. There is no proof that it is. Even the handwriting is all wrong. Ragged. Confused. Desperate. Not like Lonan’s careful, hesitant print.

“Like I said, I bought the car used.”

“But is it your map?” Harrison asks again. Gently, he creases the paper and then slots it back into the glove compartment. Outside, they pass three convenience stores in a row, a flock of couples emerging from a bowling alley, tipsy and cradling leftover deep dish pizzas and mozzarella sticks. They pass two more convenience stores before Lonan finally answers.

“I was confused,” he says.

“This is more than confused,” Harrison says. “It’s disturbed.”

“I’m not disturbed.”

“But something is wrong with you.”

Lonan slows at a crosswalk. A group of teenaged girls whisk by in glitter and lip gloss.

“Yes,” he says.

This is Harrison trying to stop Lonan’s nosebleed after their bizarre swerve which I think is kind of <3 tendy <3

Harrison reaches for him. One hand on the back of his neck, and the other reared toward the red stream. His touch is tactful, so faint his fingerprints wouldn’t even be left behind, but still, the dabbing with his jacket’s hem is enough to redirect the blood’s flow from Lonan’s upper lip to the cuff of leather. The radio is still on, garbled like an unmassing of crepe paper lanterns.

This is the final excerpt for this update that takes us to the very end of the chapter! Harrison has just found Lonan supposedly head-first in the sink and though he asks at first why he is doing that, takes an alternate approach as the chapter closes:

Harrison gets up, his knees popping like gnawed bubble gum. He decides he will handle Lonan at a distance, if he chooses to handle him at all. Like a timid pet owner trying to tame their suddenly-rabid yorkie. Like a friend not trying to tip the full glass. To let its contents film at its surface, but never spill.

Somewhere in the apartment, Suzanna probably listens to them. If Harrison didn’t know her better, he’d imagine her pressed neatly against the door, waiting to hear the shuffle of their bodies or the tang of an argument. Instead, he imagines her at the kitchen table, gripping a glass of water for so long, half of it evaporates.

“You don’t have to tell me anything,” Harrison says, stepping back until his spine hits the counter’s lip. He curls his fingers under the granite. Looks toward the window, now a faint periwinkle. Lonan heaves. His fingers caging his face, an animal restrained. They stand there until the sun rises.

So that’s it for this gigantic update! I have like four short stories to update you on so I hope to be back soon!

—Rachel

#writing #writerblr #amwriting #writeblr #fostered #mothwork #writingupdates #feedinghabits

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kpop-uni · 4 years

Text

Through the Lens // Six

Christian YuxYoutuber!Reader Words: 3.2K A/N: AN UPDATE? OUT OF THE BLUE? Yes! I’m so sorry I made you guys wait so long but my mental health was just so bad. But I recently started redoing my life, cleaning my room and I’m even taking a well deserved vacation to California next month so I’m doing better! Enough about this though, enjoy the chapter guys!

Chapter Five // Chapter Seven (CS)

A plan formed between the four men. Christian was to go to you, see you at your favorite restaurant and apologize for everything. It was an easy plan that guaranteed the two of you to talk again. But when Christian bought the tickets and packed his things, you let Scott know that you moved cities. So, it was back to square one.

Couple weeks later, Christian finally realized that you unblocked him on social media.

Christian had woken up to get a drink, phone in his pocket as he sat on the counter, glass cup in hand as he closed his eyes. He was still full of sleep, swaying as sleep tried to take his body away. The vibration from his pocket made him wake up a bit, finishing his drink and hopping off the counter. As he set the cup in the sink, pulling his phone out, Christian woke up, phone almost falling out of his hand.

He waited as the post loaded, trying to blink the sleep away before settling on rubbing his eyes. Finally looking at the loaded post, Christian smiled

ynissamood: I know you guys are excited for the series to be released but I promise that once the project is released and I get the okay, you guys get to enjoy this! Miss you goofballs~ xoxo

The photo was one where you were sitting on a table, Scott directly behind you as he grinned into the camera. Gyungmo had his bucket hat over his eyes and gave a hand gesture as John gave a peace sign next to him, and Cline, as always, looked at the camera with all seriousness. Christian was on your other side, sitting right next to you with his arms crossed as he gave the camera a smile.

Christian started with a simple hello, thinking twice before erasing it and trying again. He stared at his screen, tilting his head as he thought of what was the appropriate ice breaker. As he continued to beat himself up, Christian gave up and wrote what he thought was best and pressed sent.

You looked over at the ping from your phone, seeing an Instagram notification. You barely paid attention as you unlocked your phone, eyes focused on the TV screen in front of you, the movie that was on was too good. But you finally focused on your phone and felt shocked at the message.

You blocked Christian after everything happened between you both, knowing fully well that he wanted nothing to do with you. So of course, it seemed out of the blue that he messaged you with a simple hey, one that you clearly had no way on figuring out what it could mean.

You hesitated on answering, not knowing exactly what to say so you instead opted for a more simple and easier solution: exiting the app and ignoring him.

Christian couldn't sleep for the rest of the night, tossing and turning as he thought about checking his phone. He didn't want to seem too eager, trying his best to make time pass by so he can check the message later but the ticking of the wall clock only made his curiosity grow. Finally, with a snatch, Christian took the phone, seeing no notification and he figured you were busy.

"So instead of thinking that she ignored you, you thought she was busy?"

Gyungmo looked at the simple message that Christian sent, showing in fact that you left him on read. Scott's laughter made Christian look away, trying to hide his embarrassment. "You're too whipped," Gyungmo chuckled, Christian taking his phone back.

"Leave me the hell alone, okay? A guy could hope," Christian rolled his eyes, going back to his laptop and going back to work.

The new album and the music video were done. The release date was set and all that was left was for the gang to post it. And, once again, Christian sent you another message.

You shared the post from the DPR page on your Instagram story, accompanied by the eyes emoji and the clapping hands. You felt bad leave Christian on read the first time, not liking it one bit but you worried that he wanted to start trouble again. So you ignored his second message, only saying hello.

Christian sat on his couch, laptop in front of him and music playing when his phone lit up, showing that you were live.

You laid on your bed, phone resting against your pillows as you laughed at a comment Christian seemed to miss, but he couldn't take his eyes off you. You had cut your hair, and freshly dyed it to a dark blue color, complimenting you very well.

"Yeah, I decided it was time for a new change," You gently touched your hair, eyes skimming the comments. "I bought myself new clothes, but then I decided to just take it a step further and changed my hair."

Christian saw a comment from Gyungmo pop up making you smile.

dprcream: new hair? let's match

"Dye your hair blue so I know what we have it real," You giggled, moving your arm to rest your head on it. You continued to read the comments, smiling at some and answering them. Christian bit his lip, getting nervous as he got an idea and began to type sending his message.

dprian: Nice hair! dprian: Lori misses you. She says hi

You stayed quiet, Christian beginning to think you ignored him before you let out a smile, humming softly. "Tell Lori I miss her much more. I wanna see her again," Christian felt his heart flutter, finally getting a response from you and trying his luck again.

dprian: Come over soon, it's not the same in the building without you

You read the message, your lips curving up into a smile at the comment. Maybe it was for show, hiding the fact that an argument between the two of you happened and for you, it was okay. After all, the fans didn't need to get involved. "I'll try to go soon, but if you guys find yourselves around my parts, let me know."

You answered people's questions and talked about upcoming projects before bidding everyone a good night, blowing kisses right as the live shut off. Christian set his phone down, thinking about the live when his phone pinged, making him look at it. He was surprised to see your name on the Instagram notification, going into the messages to see what you had sent.

ynissamood: Listen, you probably did that as a way for people not to suspect what happened between us and that's okay, but please stop sending me messages. I unblocked you so people wouldn't get the wrong idea. I'm sorry for what happened between us, but this is your fault too.

Christian read the message over and over again before he let out a breath, not able to believe what he read. He knew this was his fault too, and he was trying to fix it but it seemed you didn't want that. And, to be frank, Christian had no one to blame but himself.

"Damn, your fucked up big time," Scott shook his head, giving Christian his phone back.

"So what do I do?" Christian asked, dropping the phone on the table in front of him. "How do I apologize for being an absolute asshole?"

"I mean, by doing it ," Scott shrugged, crossing his arms. "Tell her you're sorry and you want to start over."

Christian knew it was his fault too, and if he had to be honest, he knew that it was only his fault. After all, he couldn't blame you for how you felt, this was all on him. And he wanted to fix it as soon as he could. He wanted to go back to the way you both were, comfortable around each other, laughing and enjoying the company like no one's business. But, he had to cross this bridge in order to get there.

Christian stared at his phone that night, biting his lip and messing around with his hair before going into the messages and sending one over.

dprian: Listen, I'm sorry too. I know what I did was out of line but I want to start over. Can we talk? Like over the phone?

It had been over three days since the message was sent and you haven't even opened the message. It wasn't like you weren't online, because you were, but you just didn't open the message. So, Christian decided that he would let you be for a bit before he tried again.

A couple more days passed, the gang finishing the last bit of touches for the release when Gyungmo noticed the notification of a new video from you. He knew Scott had to have been watching it by now so Gyungmo went off to watch the video.

Scott sat on his chair, watching as you messed with a bag, sighing.

"I don't know how to explain it but it's just... an ugly feeling. Like when you're trying your best to draw something but it doesn't come out like you want it to... kind of like that," You played with the drawstring on the bag a bit more, biting your lip before the video cut.

It was a brief moment of you looking out the window, shutting it quickly and yelping when the delivery man spotted you. "I hope he's not judging me... I ordered like 5 large fries..."

"I think I'm gonna take a break from social media for a bit..." The video cut right back to you, sitting at the end of your bed. Legs now crossed as you gave the camera a soft smile. "I'll still post the series and give you guys a heads up but that's about it for me. I just want to take a breather," With one final wave and with a kiss, the video went black.

You smiled at the text from Scott that came in, giving him a call and hearing it ring before his voice was heard. "Are you okay? What's wrong?"

You giggle a bit, taking a seat on your bed. "I'm okay, I just need a break from social media, don't worry much about me."

"Hey, have you heard from y/n?" Gyungmo walked into Scott's studio, Scott flinching a bit from being startled. You laughed as you heard the two argue, Scott trying to explain to him that you were fine while Gyungmo tried to take the phone.

"Do you need me to go over? I'll go right now," Gyungmo laughed as he heard your laughter.

He was about to grab the phone when Scott yanked it away, laughing. You laid on your bed, feeling better when another voice caught your attention. You could hear Christian ask what was going on, Scott answering.

"Hey, we'll call you back, okay?" You knew Gyungmo was doing this for you, knowing that you didn't want to talk to Christian but you let out a breath.

You had to face him one day, and this seemed like a better time, even though you preferred much later. So, as you sat up in bed, you took in a breath, shaking your head. "Lemme talk to him, please?"

"You sure?" Gyungmo turned to Christian who gave him a curious look, Gyungmo hearing you assure him. With some hesitation, Gyungmo handed the phone over to Christian, who stared at it for a bit before taking it.

"Hello?"

You stayed quiet for a bit, biting your tongue before gulping your nerves. "Hey, it's me,"

Christian froze at your voice, looking at Gyungmo and Scott who watched him. Christian hummed, walking out of the room and heading to his studio, and closing the door behind him, locking it in case that Scott or Gyungmo tried to go after him. "Hey, you okay?"

"Yeah, I just need a break from social media... It's getting to be too much," You played with the end of you hair, letting your hand fall to your bed. "How have you been?"

"You know, working and all that," Christian sat on his chair, listening to a bit of rustling on your side.

It was quiet between the two of you, and awkward silence filing you the air. "I'm sorry for being an asshole, I was just mad at you,"

"No, it's okay... I didn't know you had a girlfriend and honestly I was an asshole about it too since I was so hurt about it..." You confessed, hands gripping your shirt.

"Chaeyoung isn't my girlfriend, well, she was never my girlfriend." Your eyebrows furrowed, staying quiet to hear him correctly. "I mean- yeah I dated her, but really it was only for the fact that I wanted to make you jealous. I thought you and Scott were dating." Christian's voice got low, letting you process his confession.

"Wait, you thought that Scott and I...?"

"Yeah, so..." Christian sighed, letting his head fall to his free hand. "I knew Chaeyoung liked me and I used her to get back at you. I figured that eventually I'd forget about you and return the feelings for Chaeyoung but I never did." Christian could hear your breathing, but other than that, it was nothing but silence. "Listen, I'm sorry and I know I was an asshole about it..." Christian trailed off, hearing you giggle before your laughter.

"Wow... and here I thought you were mad at me for kissing you when you had a girlfriend... you really are an asshole,"

Christian let out a breath, laughing along and shaking his head, feeling the weight of anxiety leave him. "I'm so sorry,"

"It's fine, but please tell me Chaeyoung knows and you're still not leading her on or I'll kick you ass,"

"No, she knows. She broke up with me that day in the studio," Christian laughed, his hand moving from covering his face to holding his chin. "I really like you, I still do,"

Your laughter died down, butterflies in your stomach erupting as you whined into the phone. "Don't start acting cute just because we confessed to each other, I'm still mad at you and I'm still going to ignore you,"

Christian couldn't help the laugh that came up and nodded, leaning back into his chair. "Fine, fine... I have to go but I'll text you later?"

You rolled your eyes, shaking your head but smiling. "You better,"

With much anticipation, the album was released and all that was left was your project. You logged into Instagram and quickly uploaded a clip of the first part.

The video was just a black screen, a bit of rustling before you spoke. "So, what inspires you?" There was more rustling and mindless piano playing before Gyungmo began talking.

"Inspiration comes from everywhere,"

The video was posted with the caption of a date, fans immediately excited and you logged back out of Instagram, going back to your task of cooking. You heard the ping of your phone and you finished chopping the vegetables before checking it.

Ian 12:31 PM: You tease Ian 12:31 PM: Of course you would post a black screen with just audio

You laughed at the text, hitting the call button and waiting as the call rang, placing it on speaker. Hearing Christian answer, a quick hello filling the kitchen.

“You busy?”

“For you? Never.” Christian leaned back into his chair, ignoring his task of editing his new project and focusing fully on you.

You began cooking the vegetables for the food, bringing the phone closer. “I need to talk to you about the upcoming part of the video, the last time we talked about it you were a bit of an-“

“Yeah I know,” Christian laughed, cutting you off. “I trust you, plus you made plenty of notes on what to hide and all that.” You smiled, butterflies appearing at how Christian remembered how you made notes for every piece of video you recorded.

“You sure? I can send it when I finish so you can look over it.”

“No, I trust you.”

The conversation continued as you cooked and Christian clicked around his computer. You pouted when he didn’t tell you about his project, dramatically sighing and complaining before laughing as Christian mocked you.

"Just know that it's something I haven't done in a real long time." Christian laughed at your groan, knowing you were never going to guess about him recording his own song.

“Hey, can I say something?" You set your plate down on the kitchen table, transferring the bit of leftovers to a bowl which you knew it was bound to get eaten when your friend arrived.

"Sure," Christian had picked up his task during the call, only clicking around, doing small things that didn't need his full attention. But he stopped working on his project, waiting for you as you continued. He heard the bit of shuffling on your end, knowing fully well that you were hesitating on saying something.

"I'm sorry, about everything. I'm sorry I treated you and Chaeyoung so bad, and I know that you're going to say that it wasn't my fault but I shouldn't have done that to her. She's a nice girl and I feel really bad. But it hurt really bad and I didn't know how to deal with that pain."

Christian was at a lost for words, his brain running a mile minute as he processed your words. He knew how nice you were, but it never occurred to him how you must have felt being so cold toward him and Chaeyoung. And yeah, it wasn't intentional, but still, he knew you must have felt so bad.

"Christian-"

"God I love you,"

It took Christian exactly six seconds to fully understand what had just happened. You were frozen in place, the confession being so sudden and almost uncalled for.

"Oh shit, shit, wait. Please I didn't- I mean I did but... fuck I'm so sorry-" With a click, the line was cut, and like that, Christian's panicked. He called you again and again, the line ringing until voicemail was hit. Finally, on the fifth call, there was no ringing, voicemail answered right away.

With desperation, Christian rushed out of his studio and into Scott's. With no sign of anyone, Christian rushed downstairs only to crash into Cline. "What are you doing?" Cline practically screamed as Christian began to pat him down. Cline tried backing away until Christian pinned him down, taking Cline's phone out of his pocket.

"Unlock it! Hurry up!" Cline, now scared, took the phone back and unlocked it with shaky hands. Christian yanked the phone out of Cline's hands, searching up your name and calling you.

The phone rang a few times before it stopped mid-ring. "Cline, can I call you back?"

"Please, listen to me-"

"Christian, just... I need to think,"

You were shocked, confused but definitely not expecting that. I mean, yeah, you expected that, but not this soon. You wanted time to think and time to build what you had with Christian.

So there you stood, staring at the kitchen counter as Christian's words bouncing around in your head. When you snapped back, you looked at your phone, seeing missed calls from Christian. Your phone froze for a second when Cline's call came in, making you sigh.

At the sound of Christian's voice though, your eyes widened.

"Please, just..." Christian was lost for words, the silence on your end making his mind run fast with endless amounts of scenarios on how wrong this was all going. “I’m sorry, I know we’re starting over but-”

"Ian..." The sound of the name you called him made Christian stop talking, freezing to hear you say it again. "It's fine. It was sudden but... This is moving too fast. Just... let me breathe."

And with a final click, the dial tone replaced your voice.

#christian yu scenario #christian yu angst #christian yu fic #christian yu fluff #dpr ian scenario #dpr ian angst #dpr ian fic #dpr ian fluff #dpr scenario #dpr angst #dpr fic #dpr fluff #khh scenario #khh angst #khh fic #khh fluff

129 notes · View notes

gubes-sweaters · 4 years

Text

Mind, Body, and Soul 2

Authors note: This is a Spencer Reid AU started by @subspencer. I got their permission to use the concept of this AU and all credit for the idea goes to them. I debated on when this story would take place either in 2020 or 2003 when Spencer would’ve actually been 22. I decided it’s going to take place in 2020 but all characters in criminal minds would be the same age in the story that they would’ve been in 2003 (if that makes any sense at all). I’m only mentioning this because the BAU will be a part of this story and besides Cat, Lindsey, Spencer, and Penelope all of the other characters will be canon.

Content Warning: Drug use(weed), drinking, swearing, kidnapping(not really the reader just gets scared)

Word Count: 2.8K

You can find part one here

Chapter 2: A “Germ Thing”

Does someone ever get on your nerves for literally reason? Like you can’t put a finger on it but for some reason, you could rationalize hitting them. Maybe it’s just a me problem or maybe it’s a Spencer Reid problem. Spencer is one big problem because on one hand I just want to hand over my soul to him and to stare at his puppy dog eyes even though I just met the guy. On the other hand, I can’t help but think I’m just another notch in his bedpost. Despite his all of the sudden sweet demeanor I keep replaying the little make-out session I saw earlier that led to god only knows what. I’m constantly debating either to kiss him or hit him in his stupid but cute smug little face. I decided right here right now that Spencer Reid will be the death of me. I probably look out of my mind thinking about this as Penelope is giving each of us a solo cup and pouring us a drink for never have I ever.

“(y/n)?” Penelope says while trying to grab my attention by waving her hand in front of my face.

“Y- yeah what’s up?” I stutter back as quickly as possible because now I’m very aware that Spencer is slowly but surely making his way towards my inner thigh.

“You spaced out on us for a minute is everything all right?” Penelope asked being genuinely concerned for me.

“Never better.” I replied before smiling because I know Penelope is just trying to be a good friend.

“Okay, so are we going to play or are we all going to hold hands around a fire while singing kumbaya.” Cat muttered out while giving me a side-eye.

“Yeah that sounds like a great idea Catherine.” Spencer snipes back while squeezing on my thigh. I couldn’t tell if it was a reflex out of anger or if it was to comfort me because Cat clearly has some disdain for me and Spencer.

“Okay, so... I'll go first never have I ever went skinny dipping” One girl out of the group named Layla who was sat on the other side of Spencer chirps up clearly trying to dissolve any tension in the room.

Pretty much everyone had a look on their face that said “obviously” except for me. After everyone took a sip of their drink their eyes wandered towards me. I just shrugged and attempted to move on. Growing up going to a catholic school where nuns compare your virginity to objects to scare the shit out of you doesn’t leave you much room to do anything fun like that. We went around the room and everything was just now becoming no longer awkward then we got to Cat.

“Never have I ever hooked up with more than two people in one night” She said while darting her eyes at Spencer.

Spencer sighed and looked at her basically giving her a silent “fuck you” before taking a sip of his drink. After he cringed at the bitter taste of his drink he squeezed my thigh again. Cat spotted it immediately and of course, had to open her loudmouth.

“Looks like you’re really going for a world record there aren't ya Spencie.”

“You know what let’s all take a breather bec-” Penelope cut in before it could get any worse. She’s someone who hates confrontation, especially between her friends.

“That sounds great!” I say cutting her off, so I can get out of this hellhole as fast as possible, before brushing Spencer's hand off of me and hopping up from the couch.

Everyone quickly disperses to get away from the situation as fast as possible. Three people make excuses to go home partly because that was the most awkward yet hostile thing a person could witness and partly because it’s almost four in the morning. I walk off towards the kitchen once again to get water in attempts to sober up as much as possible before going home. Even though everyone else wasn’t really anything more than buzzed because we were taking sips out of a cup instead of taking shots. I’m a huge lightweight and I’d rather not test my ability to drive like this. As I crack open a bottle of water I feel a tap on my shoulder. I was surprised when I turned around and I didn’t see Spencer but instead it was a guy I’ve never met before. He sat next to Layla, but we never talked to each other until now.

“Hey, I didn’t mean to spook you. I’m Josh by the way.” He introduced himself with a big smile, and then he extended his hand out to me. He was cute not as tall as Spencer, but still taller than me. He had sandy blonde hair and bright blue eyes.

“Hi my name is (y/n)” I say as I reach out my hand to shake his hand, but it didn’t quite get there because the handshake was intercepted by a third hand.

“And I’m Spencer.” He quickly cuts in and shakes Josh’s hand. I have to take a quick step back because he shoved himself between me and Josh. I then step around Spencer to see the interaction between the two of them.

“Um hi?” He says with a confused look on his face. You can tell Spencer had a good grip on his hand and is shaking his hand way longer than necessary. It looks like his grip just keeps getting tighter and tighter until Josh starts to wince. Soon enough Spencer finally lets go of the poor guy’s hand. Josh couldn’t have booked it over to Penelope to say goodbye literally any faster.

“What happened to your little “germ thing?”” I ask while giving him a look of total irritation. Spencer was clearly peeved by me talking to another guy even it’s an innocent little handshake.

“I still have a germ thing but I just thought I’d introduce myself.” He says innocently while he wipes his hands on his pants before stuffing them in his pockets.

I turn around in attempts to ignore him, and when I do realize I’m now trapped in my own personal hell. I turn around and now there's just five of us me, Penelope, Spencer, Cat, and a girl who was sitting next to Cat the entire time. So I can either talk to one of my best friends, but she's sat next to two girls who are looking like they’re about to devour me or I can talk to the guy who is irritating the shit out of me. Looks like I’ll take my chances in the lion’s den. I walk over to Penelope and sit down on the couch. When I sit down I realize that this girl and Cat are holding hands and are acting very cuddly (which you wouldn’t expect from Cat because of her bitchy demeanor). I figured they’re probably dating and my suspicions were confirmed when she introduced herself to me.

“Hi, I’m Lindsey. I’m Cat’s girlfriend” She says while waving at me. It’s odd because it looks like Lindsey looks like a genuinely sweet girl, but Cat is playing her like a fiddle, so she will act in any sort of way that Cat wants. Even it means being stand-offish to people you don’t even know. Shortly after Spencer walks out of the kitchen and sits right next to me and instead of attempting to be subtle in any sort of way he wraps his arm around my waist and pulls me so close to him I’m practically on his lap.

“Okay, as much as I love all of my friends It’s now four am and a girl needs a little beauty rest. Is everybody okay to drive home? If not you’re more than welcome to stay the night.” I couldn’t tell if she was serious or if she was trying to end this night before it got any worse. Meanwhile, Spencer and Cat look like they could maul each other any minute. We all agree that it’s okay and say our goodbyes to Pen. Cat and Lindsey leave right away but I loitered around for another minute or two just to make sure I’m good to drive. I hear the front door open and close once more. I figured that it was Spencer deciding he wasn’t getting anywhere with me, so he left. I eventually say goodbye to Penelope and make my way out the door. I suddenly remember I had to park in a parking lot across the street because Penelope only has one visitor parking spot. Most people took a vacant parking spot or parked on the side of the street, but there was absolutely no room for me to do that. I wrap my arms around myself because I’m only wearing a skirt and a thin sweater which in retrospect was absolutely stupid considering its fall in DC. I can’t help but feel like I’m being followed or at least like someone's eyes are on me. I start jogging because I wasn't about to take any chances. My jogging is more like very fastly walking because let’s face it, I have the athletic ability of a sloth. I’m only a little bit away from my car when I hear footsteps. I immediately start to try and unlock my car, so I can hop in as fast as possible. Of course, as luck would have it my car wouldn’t unlock because I was supposed to change the stupid battery a week ago.

“Fuck you shitty car and your shitty remote.” I mutter to myself. I’m only about a foot away from my car when I feel a hand firmly grasp my shoulder and I do the only thing I could think of which was scream bloody murder. As I start to scream whoever is behind me puts their other hand over my mouth.

“Shhh it’s okay. Everything is okay It’s just me.” I immediately recognize the voice. When they let me go I turn around and shove them.

“Fuck you Spencer why did you do that! You nearly gave me a heart attack I thought I was going to die you dick.” I shout at him before turning around and going to stick my key in the car door.

“I’m sorry I called for you when I saw you walking out of Penelope's apartment building but you clearly didn't hear me. I didn’t want you to take off without me, so I tried running to catch up with you.” He apologized, but he was clearly not super sincere because he was trying so hard not to smile or bust out laughing.

“Well, go on then what do you want?” I ask while standing there with my car door cracked while I’m waiting to get in the car.

“My friend who I came here with wanted to take a girl home. I no longer have a ride home and I thought I’d figure it out before I was going to leave but I didn’t I guess.” He says kinda shyly in attempts to ask me for a ride without actually asking me.

“Do want a ride?” I sigh because I know he already has me wrapped around his finger.

“Yes please.” He says while giving me puppy dog eyes obviously to try and make me forget that two minutes ago I thought I was going to be kidnapped.

“Hop in then” I gesture for him to get in the passenger seat. We close the car doors almost in unison then I start my car. I ask him for his address while pulling out my phone, but he insists that he can give me good directions and I don’t need to get directions from my phone.

“Whatever you say Sherlock” I roll my eyes at him while I start to pull out of the parking lot. Spencer starts fiddling with things in my car while he gives directions. He flips on the radio and changes the channels about fifty times before getting bored and turning it back off. Soon enough I pull into the parking lot of his apartment building. Pulling into the parking lot is a bittersweet moment because I’m not sure if I’ll ever see him again, and overall I had a fun time tonight mostly because of him despite all of the awkwardness. On the other hand, somehow this man knows how to push all of my buttons and is able to get on every single last one of my nerves, so I couldn’t be happier to say goodbye. I put the car in park and look at him to say goodbye. I look over, and he’s looking for something but I'm not sure what he’s looking for. He starts to pull everything out of his pockets and places them on my dashboard. Out of his front pockets, he pulls out some pocket change, a money clip, and a plastic bag with a rolled joint in it. Out of his back pockets, he pulls out his wallet then searches through it. After that, he pulls out an iPhone, two lighters, and a condom. Really classy Spencer really really classy.

“Shit” He mutters to himself before patting his front pockets once more and putting everything back in his pockets and I still can’t believe what he is about to say next, but this man looks at me dead ass in my eyes, and says.

“I lost the key to my apartment.” He looks at me with puppy dog eyes and I already know what he’s suggesting.

“Can’t you get one from your landlord or have your roommate let you in?” I suggest in attempts to avoid the inevitable.

“I live alone and my landlord wouldn’t be able to get me a new key until eight in the morning.” He says and I swear to god he intentionally pouts his lips ever so slightly. I would normally say one thousand percent no but it’s almost five in the morning now and I’m so desperate for my head to hit the pillow. I don’t have time to shoot the shit with Spencer for even another minute.

“I can let you stay the night at my place I guess.”

“I’m really sorry this isn’t a normal occurrence I promise. I feel bad because I’m a huge inconvenience right now but I’ll make it up to you, I promise someway somehow.” He says while looking at me with the same guilt as a child who broke something of their parents.

“It’s okay I won’t make you sleep out on the street.” I say before chuckling hoping to lighten the mood and to make him feel less guilty. We both laugh at the ridiculous situation as I make my way to my apartment. Turns out I only live a little bit under ten minutes from him. As I pull into my parking spot I begin to tell him I have a few terms and conditions.

“Firstly my roommates cannot know you’re here, or they’ll never let this situation go. So you can’t sleep out on the couch you’ll have to sleep in my room. Then in the morning once the coast is clear I’ll find a way to sneak you out. Deal?”

“Deal.” He repeats back while stepping out of the car.

I open the door to my apartment, and we both tiptoe to my room to avoid making any noise. Surprisingly we didn’t make any noise at all, so once we cross the threshold of my doorway I close it and lock it before telling Spencer I’ll get him a pillow and blankets to sleep on the floor. I turn around and see Spencer already took his shoes off and is already curled up under the blankets half asleep. I just give in because at this point I’m only thinking about sleep. I get my pajamas and change in my bathroom. I walk back into my room and throw back the covers and let my head hit the pillow. Just as I feel myself slipping into a deep sleep I feel Spencer throw his arm around my waist and pull me flush against his body. This is going to be one interesting morning.

................................................................................................................................Taglist: @rexorangecouny @haylaansmi

#criminal minds imagine #criminal minds fanfiction #spencer reid #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid au #plug spencer #spencer reid smut #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid x reader #plug!spencer

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grailfinders · 3 years

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Fate and Phantasms #109: Emiya (Assassin)

Today on Fate and Phantasms we’re continuing our trek through Fate Zero with the assassin class Edgemiya, with the ability to alter his own time and everyone’s luck. Despite all his cool powers, he’s still pretty depressed. Oh well, it’s probably nothing a few more builds won’t fix.

Check out Emiya’s build breakdown below the cut, or his character sheet over here!

Next up: “Do I contradict myself? Very well, then, I contradict myself. I am large- I contain multitudes.” -Walt Whitman

Race and Background

Emiya made a deal with the spirit of humanity to protect the human race, which is exactly why he’d make a great Hobgoblin... I’m kidding, he’s a Variant Human, for +1 Dexterity and Charisma, Arcana proficiency (or whatever else a rocket launcher would fall under idk), and the Crossbow Expert feat, allowing you to ignore loading crossbows, fire well with enemies in melee range, and dual wield hand crossbows. You can control the flow of time, you should be able to fire more than once a round.

You’ve fought in plenty of wars, but it’s hard to call a professional assassin anything but a Criminal. This gives you Deception and Stealth proficiencies.

Ability Scores

This is a pretty mono-ability build- make your Charisma as high as possible. You’re a pretty scary guy, and you shoot good. That’s charisma. Somehow. After that is Dexterity- you’re really stealthy, and really, really fast. Your Intelligence isn’t half bad. You can use plenty of fancy modern weapons, and you can hunt down mages to use them on. Constitution doesn’t have to be that high, you don’t need health if you just don’t get hit. Your Strength isn’t great, but it’s enough to get the job done. We’re dumping Wisdom, though-your entire characterization is about how much you regret making that deal with Alaya. You’re not bad at noticing things though, we’ll just have to patch that up with skills.

Class Levels

1. Rogue 1: You have a particular set of skills, and rogues start off with the most, so let’s spend a little time here for now. First level rogues get proficiency with Dexterity and Intelligence saving throws, as well as four rogue skills- Acrobatics to enhance your mobility, Intimidation for that no-nonsense attitude of yours, and Perception and Investigation to hunt down and destroy your enemies.

You also get Expertise, doubling your proficiency bonus for Stealth and Intimidation. Presence Concealment A+ is some good stuff.

You can also add a Sneak Attack bonus to damage done by attacks with advantage or directed at creatures who are occupied with other creatures. Right now, it’s just 1d6. You also learn Thieves’ Cant. It’s a language.

2. Warlock 1: Alaya’s kind of a lot of things to a lot of people, but Hexblades work best for us so a Hexblade it shall be here. As a hex warlock, you learn how to place a Hexblade’s Curse on a creature. It lasts one minute, or until one of you two dies, and you can use it once per short rest. While cursed, you can add your proficiency to damage against the target, all attacks made crit on 19s as well as 20s, and you gain hp when the cursed creature dies.

You also become a Hex Warrior, giving you proficiency with medium armor and martial weapons. You can also use charisma as your attack modifier for one weapon per long rest, as long as it isn’t two-handed. Right now, that means you’re using hand crossbows.

One last benefit of being a warlock is Pact Magic, spells you can cast using Charisma. Grab Eldritch Blast for more shooting and True Strike for more careful shots, Expeditious Retreat for some extra speed, and Cause Fear to drain the luck of one poor sap for up to a minute, rendering them unable to move closer and giving them disadvantage on attacks while you’re in sight for the duration. Sure, making yourself luckier would technically be more directly in line with canon, but it’s a “six in one hand, half a dozen in another” sort of situation.

3. Warlock 2: Second level warlocks get Eldritch Invocations, extra ways to customize the Selling Your Soul Experience! You get two right now, but we’re saving one for The Obvious next level. Grab Thief of Five Fates for yet another way to ruin someone’s day. You can cast Bane once per long rest by using a warlock spell slot. This reduces all the saves and attack rolls of three creatures who failed their charisma saves by 1d4 for up to a minute. The DC on those saves, by the by, is 8 plus your proficiency bonus plus your charisma modifier. You can also cast Hex now, in case your enemies weren’t unlucky enough. This makes your attacks deal extra necrotic damage, they get disadvantage on ability checks with one ability, and you can move the effect to another creature if the first drops to 0 hp, which is nice considering it lasts an hour.

4. Warlock 3: Pact of the Blade time! This level lets you summon a magical pact weapon as an action. This weapon always has the benefits of being a Hex Warrior, and thanks to Improved Pact Weapon it can also be a ranged weapon. Specifically, it has to be a Light Crossbow now, because weapon requirements in D&D are obtuse and terrifying.

On a lighter note, you get second level spells now! You can speed up enough to create a Mirror Image of yourself, creating three copies of yourself on the same square you’re standing. If you’d take a hit, there’s a 75% chance a copy will get hit instead and get destroyed, leaving you with only two, and so on.

5. Warlock 4: Use your first Ability Score Improvement to bump up your Charisma for better... everything, really.

You can also cast Minor Illusion to leave afterimages further away from yourself, and Blur, which gives creatures attacking you disadvantage.

6. Rogue 2: Back in your other class, you learn how to make Cunning Actions, speeding up your Dash, Disengage, and Hide actions so they can fit in a bonus action instead.

7. Rogue 3: It’s no surprise that you’re an Assassin. I mean, it’s your class, but it’s also your subclass. As an Assassin, you can Assassinate enemies that are surprised and/or slower than you are. You have advantage on creatures who haven’t taken a turn yet, and hits against surprised creatures are instant criticals. Speaking of advantage, you can use your Steady Aim as a bonus action to give your next attack advantage, at the cost of losing al your movement for the turn. Despite this, you’ll have plenty of ways to move in a pinch if you really have to.

Also, your sneak attack goes up to 2d6.

8. Fighter 1: Yes, it’s another 3-class build. Don’t worry though, this one’s just a splash. As a fighter, you get a fighting style- Archery will make your shots even more accurate than they were before. You can also use your Second Wind as a bonus action for a bit of healing. You shouldn’t have any trouble finding time for a breather, after all.

9. Fighter 2: Second level fighters can use an Action Surge once per short rest to add an extra action to a turn. Save up for a burst of gunfire, or cast Mirror Image and Blur at the same time to become almost invincible have fun with it!

10. Warlock 5: Speaking of doubling up on things, at fifth level warlocks get another Invocation. Thirsting Blade lets you attack twice per action. You can also move fast enough to Blink out of existence. On the end of each turn for a minute, you have a 50% chance to enter the ethereal plane until the start of your next turn.

11. Rogue 4: Use your next ASI to grab the Piercer feat, for +1 Dexterity, the ability to re-roll one die of piercing damage per turn, and an extra critical hit die when you shoot somebody. If you don’t plan on wearing medium armor, this will also increase your AC.

12. Rogue 5: Fifth level rogues gain an Uncanny Dodge, spending your reaction to halve the damage of a single attack. I’d think you wouldn’t get hit by this point, but nat 20s happen to everyone eventually. Also, your sneak attack is 3d6 now.

13. Rogue 6: Use your second round of Expertise to double down on Perception and Investigation. You’re a professional, you’ve got to get results.

14. Rogue 7: Seventh level rogues get Evasion, making you fast enough to outrun fireballs. If an effect makes you roll a dexterity save to halve damage, a failure makes you take half damage now, and a success completely negates it. Your sneak attack reaches its final form at 4d6.

15. Warlock 6: Sixth level hexlocks can make an Accursed Specter once per long rest out of humanoids you kill. They stick around until your next long rest. This is very not in character for you, but free help is free help.

To help with all that killing, you can also cast Spirit Shroud, adding extra damage to short-range combat, preventing healing, and slowing down nearby enemies.

16. Warlock 7: You can now burn spell slots to power gunshots thanks to Eldritch Smite, which adds a lot of force damage to a weapon attack. To help maneuver around the battlefield, you can also cast Dimension Door for a quick burst of speed.

17. Warlock 8: Use your last ASI to maximize your Charisma for stronger spells and weapons. You can also cast Shadow of Moil for that dramatic shadowy look you get at higher ascensions. It also works as yet another reason people really shouldn’t hit you.

18. Warlock 9: Ninth level warlocks max out their spell slots at fifth level, allowing you to cast Far Step for a longer speed-up session. While the spell lasts (it’s concentration, up to a minute) you can use your bonus action to teleport 60′. You also get the invocation Trickster’s Escape, which lets you cast Freedom of Movement for free once per long rest. While active, your latent timewarping prevents you from being slowed down by magical effects or difficult terrain. (At least that’s what it looks like from the outside. They don’t need to know you secretly spent two turns getting through those hedges.)

19. Warlock 10: Our final gift from Alaya is the Armor of Hexes. If you’re going to get hit by a hexcursed creature’s attack, you can use your reaction for a 50/50 chance of ignoring the attack completely.

You can also cast the cantrip Friends this level. You’re scary, this’ll make you scarier for a bit.

20. Warlock 11: Having sixth level spells on short rests would be busted, so instead of growing your spell slots warlocks get a Mystic Arcanum. This lets you cast one sixth level spell once per long rest, like those plebeians with spellbooks. Your spell is the Circle of Death, letting you go full on Reaper on a pretty large area, dealing 8d6 necrotic damage to every creature that fails a constitution save in a 60′ radius sphere. It’s not dexterity, purely because there’s that many bullets flying around.

Pros:

You are very, very good at critical hits. With a doubled chance of critical damage and guaranteed crits on surprised creatures, you’ll be rolling a lot of dice pretty often. Especially since you can take advantage of critical hits easily thanks to your smites and sneak attacks.

While you can dish out damage easily, you’re also great at avoiding damage entirely, with plenty of spells that make you harder to hit, teleportation to get out of tricky spots, and multiple ways to dodge attacks even if they’re critical hits. Your mobility also makes it a lot harder to escape from you.

Maxed out charisma, the archery fighting style, and free advantage from Steady Aim means even after the fight starts you can still deal consistent damage over long periods of time. Your shots are going to land more often than not, and they land pretty hard.

Cons:

While you can deal damage over time, your kit is definitely geared more towards short bursts, because most of your skills are on a strict cooldown, with one or two uses per short rest. This is especially true of your spell slots. Warlocks eat up spells fast, especially if you’re using them for offense and defense.

Your low wisdom means you’re going to be fooled by illusions and charmed pretty easily. As a precaution, it might be best to use up your burst damage skills as soon as possible. You really don’t want to have to turn 9d8 + 4d6 + 12 damage on your party members.

Your HP isn’t that high, barely scraping above 100 at higher levels. While you have a lot of ways to make that last a lot longer than you’d think, there’s always the chance your DM’s getting sick of you surviving everything and will just throw someone with Power Word Kill your way.

#Fate Grand Order #D&D 5e #Emiya Assassin #FGO #Fate and Phantasms

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