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swords-of-a-soilder · 3 months

Text

The Healing Process

Chapter 4

Dreedful revilation

"A coffin?!" Philza confirmed; he was seated at Cellbit's dining table reviving information of the night before. After Phil's midnight episode Cellbit would drag him, well mostly the coffin, to his home so he could properly rest.

"That you built yourself yes," Cellbit explained, "Phil I must say with the recent events this seems more like possession."

The thought the cursed king had taken his antonym was absolutely terrifying. There was no chance of fighting back, the entity was on a higher level than he was, than anyone was, he didn't want to fight a losing battle with his own body.

"Phil," Cellbit threw him out his thoughts, "the vision you had." Phil groan in annoyance as he tilt his gaze. "I know you don't want to talk about it, but this is clearly important.

"I don't even know where to start." Phil began with a sigh, "I know this is connected to my dreams, it's so much of a longer story than you think."

"I have time." Cellbit reasured, he watch Phil sit in silence a little longer starching at the table in an clear attempt to smooth his nerves. He reached out and brought Phil's hand to a stand still, successfully gaining his attention.

"Phil, Bolas to Bolas let me help you." Cellbit requested.

Philza exhaled deeply then gently pulled his hand from Cellbit's grip, "Ok." He began, "I think it started with the dreams, for as long I could remember I've been having dreams of another world.

"what kind of world?"

"That's the thing it's hard to explain.. I guess a domain would be the right term? It's like this space in-between homes of like..Gods."

"Right.." Cellbit respond in mock confidence, admitly unnerved at the mention of Gods.

"these a few of them, but the antagonist is The Ender King, he steal biomes and part of others domain, it became a problem and so they flood his domain."

"I'm assuming that killed him, being an Ender and all?" Cellbit inquired

"yeah, actually it's weird.. I'm wasn't there when this is happened I'm discovered The story after by finding things buried in the ground, scrolls but.."

"But..?"

"it's like I can still feel them there..all of them.."

Cellbit bit his tongue at that information, all would imply the Ender King as well, but a being that has the ability to steal bomies surly must be powerful, would drowning him even work again?

"Phil if you don't mind, I'd like to observe you sleep, it might help us figure out how to stop this," Cellbit made a quotation gesture with his fingers, "Ender King."

"Wait you mean like sleep here?"

"Yes, I'll make you a proper room with a comfortable bed."Cellbit explained, "you deserve it, UNLIKE SOME PEOPLE!"

"Oh stop complaining you big wussy." AbueloRoeier excalimed as he entered the room.

"Why are you even here?" Cellbit pushed, "didn't I dropped you in the old folks home?"

"Ha! Nice try bitch you can't get rid of me!" He responded Before slowly walking to the other room.

"Anyways..it would do good to observe your sleep pattern from start to finish." Cellbit explained further

"I see, you're not gonna let me sleep in a coffin again right?" Phil teased

"Well, I will have back up.." Phil tilled his head in confusion at Cellbit's respond.

Phil lied in his temporary king size bed as he stared up at the celling; the room was mostly dark aside from a dull red light for a nightlight that supprisly was making him more tired.

He glanced over at the camera in the corner of the room, there he knew Cellbit was watching him from. He consider asking him to play some form of music or rain sounds, anything to help him forget that despite the comfortable nature of the bed he was sleeping in a reinforcered box.

Instead however Philza turned on his side, determine to fall asleep despite the knowledge of being watched. On the other side Forever placed a cup of coffee next to Cellbit then sat nearby with his own as they watched the camera.

"how's he doing?" Forever asked

"He still hasn't fallen asleep yet." Cell informed as he pulled his cup closer.

"bond to happen when your being watch I supposed, the six sense that tells you when you're being watched."

"Hm, we have all night either way." He took a sip of his coffee.

As the night dragged on Cellbit consumption of coffee increased. He rub the exhaustion from his eyes as he watch Phil stir in his sleep, the most activity he'd seen in the past two hours .

He then looked over at Forever whom was passed out in his chair, leant back with his feet on the desk and his head pointed to the calling. His chair was also standing on the two back leg, he look like he would fall at any moment.

He quickly turn his attention back to phil, noting the sudden knocking on the wall below the camera. He raised his eyebrows as Phil stared up at him, like he was look directly into his soul.

Cellbit dragged his clipboard close by then transferred the information down however his process would be interrupted by yelling, he looked up at the screen again.

Philza was now pacing the room and yelling his voice at lest five Octanes deeper. Cellbit focussed his attention on his subject admittedly concerned for his behavior, soon Phil turned to pulling at the reinforced door.

Cellbit stood up halfway in preparation to run downstairs, there was no way he'd break though the door! While Cell was hopefully unfortunately it wasn't quite enough to hope as Phil or whoever was possessing him broke apart the door then made his exit.

Cellbit lifted Forever's legs out the way, waking Forever in the process, he Yelp in surprise as the chair tilted over then sat back up garling at Cellbit, "what was that about?!"

"He's escaped!" Cellbit announced before exiting the room, Forever quickly followed him. They would chase Philza on foot, bealry keeping up with his speed

Suddenly Philza took of, supprisly the wings he calmed to be broken carried him into the air; they stopped in awe, painful awear they wouldn't be able to catch him.

Thankfully for them his wings suddenly gave out thus he came crashing to the ground. The duo ran quickly to Phil's unmoving body, Forever then gently attempt to pick him up. "help me out please?" He requested

Cellbit apologizes then help Forever throw Phil over his shoulders, much to his dismay and he suddenly found the engery to Punch Forever's back repeatedly.

Regardless they carry on, practically dragging Phil kicking and screaming, back to the castle and into the original room, Cellbit observed the surrounding area for the door but found nothing more than ramble.

"He broke the door, it'll take a while for me to make a new one!" He explained

Forever glanced around the room, than turned his attention back to Cellbit, "just block it in." He suggested.

Cellbit rumish through his inventory for blocks, "are you sure you'll be able to handle him?" He asked recalling the extreme strength he had before.

Forever agreed before gently drooping Phil on the bed, then made his way to the further cover; He sat on the floor, staring Phil down.

He observed as Phil push himself up partly, the purple glow in his eyes, the way his head hung in desperation. But what shoke him soul was the incredible deep voice that left his mouth, the mer presence of which filled him with dreed.

"How dare you beast?" Phil spoke.

Forever inhaled deeply as rubbed his hands together, still keeping his eyes on Philza, "So you wanna talk huh?" He began, "Ok let's talk; what are you, what do you want?"

"I Just.. want to..Rest!" He spoke with a booming voice, "Do you have any idea what it feels like to be aware for four thousand years?" The room slowy filled with water; Forever push himself up with one hand to the wall, a hand that glow a deep navy while he whispered to himself in Portuguese.

"Do you have any idea what it feels like, to burn for you nature?!" Forever swore he could hear Phil's regular voice in the word burn, he'd make a mental note of it. "Was it such a sin, for me to take what's mine until the end of time?"

Despite the room being completely filled with water, forever found he could breath just fine. He therefore approached Phil slowly his left hand still glowing dully in the shade of the water.

"I just want to rest.." Phil wouldn't move yet his now purple eyes stared at forever though damp locks, his pupils incredibility dilated.

"But, this is rather counter productive isn't it?" Forever commented once he got closer, he climbed on the bed, then grasp Phil's face with no hastation, Phil's eyes immediately darted up to met his own. "If you're tired then sleep."

Almost immediately after Forever statement Philza's eyes fell shut as he drifted into sleep then onto Forever's lap. The water began to drain into seemingly no where leading forever to the conclusion the spirit had finally leftt.

Forever turned to the camera in the upper corner of the room, curious how much of that Cellbit saw. Denounced to him Cellbit was still staring at the video feed in absolutely appalled at the events that played out.

#qsmp #q!philza #q!forever #q! Cellbit #ender king #child of the sky #the healing process #sugarduo #archivists duo #i only proof read rhis once #don't coment about typos #I'll fix it when im not tired

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natashxromanovf · 1 year

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for the sweater weather sleepover how about nina or jesper from shadow and bone and like idk in the night where the reader is just in the balcony enjoying the night breeze and what not and then nina/jesper enters and they both have the most comfortable silence or deep conversations and the reader is so whipped they accidentally confess

The shining dots in the sky

jesper fahey x gn!reader

wc: 584

warnings: i don't think there are any, not proofread

a/n: stop i feel like this sucks so bad 😭😭 i'm sorry but it's late and I don't even know what I'm writing anymore haha. anyway thank you for the request love <33

Without a word, Jesper smoothly takes his place beside you, staring off in the same direction as you. It's not uncommon for the two of you to simply come to the balcony and then stare down onto the streets of Ketterdam. Sometimes you talk, sometimes you don't - it's kind of your thing, a moment of peace both of you deserve from time to time.

This is one of the more quiet evenings when all you do is enjoy each other's presence and take slow, deep breaths after a long day. There is an occasional word cutting through the silence, but other than that there's mostly quiet, hearing only the sounds of the life going on underneath you.

You like these moments more than anything. There's something so calming in Jesper's presence, something you can't explain. These are some of the rare times he's actually standing still and not endlessly moving around. You guessed that's the reason for this effect he has on you.

"Do you ever just think about how lucky we are, to be able to see this beauty we call stars? All the patterns, all the shining little dots in the sky, they're all so so beautiful," you mutter, making Jesper look at you.

"No, I've never actually thought about it," he truthfully says, letting his eyes wander around the night sky. "It's just that with everything going on in our everyday lives, I never think about these deep psychological things. I guess that's why I love these evenings we share so much," he smiles which makes you smile.

"Yeah, I guess that's why," you whisper to yourself, knowing this isn't the only reason you love this time spent with him. Of course, there's a bit of truth in there too but you've recently realised that it's not only his stillness that has that effect on you, but it's his mere presence. His proximity, his voice, his face - it's all mixed into one wholesome feeling - love.

It's been clear to you for a while now, you've just tried to ignore it which is not as simple as it sounds. There are days when you can't just hold it in, when you can't just cover it up and this is one of them.

"You know how you said that you don't have time to think about those things because of our everyday lives? Well, I've been thinking about that, about all the risky stuff we do on daily basis. Life is short, especially when you're in the business we're in. And I don't know if you feel the same, but I can't go another minute without knowing I told you how I fell. So I'm just going to come out with it - I like you, Jesper Fahey. Like, a lot. And I've thought about it, tried only being your friend but I can't. Not without knowing you don't feel the same," you finish, now fully facing him. He just smirks, taking your hand in his.

"Well, as a matter of fact, I do feel the same, Y/N Y/L/N," he replies, causing a big smile to appear on your face.

"I'm glad," you whisper before starting to inch closer to him, looking for any sign of rejection. When you don't see any, you finally gather the courage to close the distance between your lips. The kiss was sweet and passionate all at the same time and if anyone asks you, it was the perfect first kiss two people could share.

i hope you enjoyed this! don’t forget to like, reblog and/or comment, it really helps writers with motivation <33

taglist form

#jesper fahey x reader #jesper fahey #jesper fahey x you #jesper fahey drabble #jesper fahey fic #jesper fahey fluff #jesper fahey blurb #shadow and bone x reader #six of crows x reader #shadow and bone #six of crows #shadow and bone fluff #six of crows fluff #taja’s sweater weather sleepover #taja’s requested fics

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contractory · 3 months

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[WORSHIPPING ADEPTI] - "Ah, excuse me," I offer the dark-haired stranger, sidestepping him to allow us both to continue our separate perusals of the incense selection. At a glance, the man himself elicits the thought of an amber mirror, elegant brown and gold meeting together in geometric diamonds and angles. His suit exudes the refinement of an aristocratic businessman, but the pauldron-like shoulderpieces speak of a warrior's experience, and a scale pattern accentuates the tails of his coat. His eyes glow with knowledge, and I can't help wondering, what is it that you know?

"You're a native of Liyue, correct?" I ask. "Would you say that making offerings to the adepti are the most effective way to contact them? I understand they live in seclusion around Jueyun Karst but have been debating the merits of actually venturing out to find them." Ah, before he gets the wrong idea, it would be wise of me to introduce myself. "I'm a scholar from Sumeru, here on a research trip. My name is Alhaitham, and I recently became fascinated in the study of the adeptal arts. I've heard the adepti are highly capable engineersーI would like to engage in an exchange of knowledge with them in the hopes that I might improve my own gadgets."

Such an argument wouldn't be enough for the average Liyuen, what with their worship of the illuminated beasts, and without further elaboration my request is bound to be regarded with suspicion. Still, I hestitate before lifting the comforting weight of my earpieces off my head, to better display them to the man, and retrieve my music player from my pouch. "I designed and built these with the technology we have back home. I can use them to listen to music loaded onto the player, but they also block out noise; I've been thinking of upgrading them. In addition, I've been compiling data for the manufacture of a powered tablet, onto which texts and books can be loaded for easy access, and it would be helpful for taking notes as well. These devices are, and will be, for personal useーI have no interest in making money off of them. They're primarily for my convenience."

... I may have... gone a little overboard with my argument, to a man who likely has no idea how to fulfill my request. I suppose I can't help myself when it comes to my projects, and this man emanates so much Geo authority that he apparently seemed the best person with whom to begin my research. Was Morax a bit like him? "You can tell me if you can't assist me, I won't be offended."

As the thin line of smoke rises slowly into the air, Zhongli's eyes, initially following its trail, are drawn off to the side, as a voice calls out and it becomes clear that it is aimed at him.

"Ah. Good day. That I am," he confirms, before pondering at the question. Its origins puzzle him, initially, but the man is swift to explain and elaborate, and it soon begins to make a lot more sense.

"It is an honor to meet you sir. I am Zhongli, a consultant of the Wangsheng Funeral Parlor. As someone who handles a variety of rites, I know a thing or two about the Adepti as well." That said, he must, of course, weigh carefully how much he lets go of.

Alhaitham takes the intriguing device off his head to allow Zhongli to better see it, and he indeed examines it with the utmost attention, as he always does when presented with a new piece of information meant specifically for him. The technology is fascinating; reminiscent of Guizhong and Cloud Retainer's works, and yet so very different, as befitting of the inventions brought from another country.

... Speaking of.

"The devices in your possessions are most interesting indeed, and I know tales of a particular Adeptus, known for being well-versed in mechanical arts. She is known as the Cloud Retainer, and her abode is located at Jueyun Karst. I have heard stories of travelers and believers making offerings of food for her by the entrance to her home, and in some cases, she has chosen to reveal herself. So you may have a chance."

He thinks further... He would hate to set the man up for disappointment.

"With that said, I have heard that she has been busy with some travels, recently, so one cannot be certain of her presence at her abode. Rumors and legends say that she even visits Liyue Harbor every once in a while, taking on a human appearance to blend into the crowd. Perhaps she is indeed among us, enjoying the Lantern Rite with the people she protected by Rex Lapis' side."

Hm. This should be good enough.

"I apologize for being unable to provide you with a certain answer." The apology is sincere on his part - alas, he must respect his friendships and his contracts. "But I hope I was able to give you some leads."

#inscryptions #✧ ic.#✧ ask meme.#GHLanternRite2024 #✧ interaction | alhaitham.#Peace Talisman +1 #((whew this got long but I got inspired. Thank you!))

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ravenbloodshot · 1 year

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Hi ravenbloodshot! Nice to meet you :) I just came across your page because I typed Lee Soo Hyuk into tumblr. I recently got into him because I've seen his drama, you can imagine I was incredibly drawn to him! It was nice coming across this reading you did: https://www.tumblr.com/ravenbloodshot/709342946115354624/lee-soo-hyuk-love-languagehow-he-acts-in-a but also pretty scary!!

I feel a bit sick to my stomach tbh 😞 I think I was attracted to him because I accidentally trauma bonded? He sounds like my ex completely. It's actually really scary 😟 My ex is a narc and this is verbatim what he's like. Lately I've been trying to work on myself and do a bunch of shadow work, so I've been seeing where I'm going wrong and all of the unhealthy patterns that I'm trying to undo but I get so upset because I tend to be drawn to similar men? My dad is also a full blown narcissist and for my own sanity and self-love, I've completely cut him off but my heart sank a little here not gonna lie, I can't believe it translated onto celebrities as well, that's how serious this shit is?

I was magnetically drawn to this guy and I didn't know why, I've also come across another reading on him where a reader says he's a cold partner and will leave you unhappy and unfulfilled. I feel as if I can't pick out anymore what men are normal and which aren't, it's almost like I lack discernment and I hate it because I never used to be like this until I met my cunt of an ex. It's completely put me off dating until I get healthy because I cannot go through what I went through and I want to learn how to un-condition myself from these types of toxic people and men and with my toxic empathy and conditioned self thinking I can change them and seeing hope in them, hell nah. I do not want to see me like this anymore.

It's so crazy because idek this actors real personality and I've been able to be so drawn to him while he was playing another character? Imagine the narcissism peeking through at moments like that too and I absolutely don't have any concept of him during his "real" interviews either, I feel cold and he confuzzles the shit outta me? INSANE! I couldn't understand why it felt so intense and thank god that I analyse everything with my Virgo ass (yes including my emotions) it didn't make sense why I felt so fucking strongly but well here I find myself trauma bonding and being drawn to yet another ass!

I'm trying my best and I know I'll get there! I'm actually afraid to look at him now and I feel repulsed because I was so infatuated with him, I wanna run and hide, he scares the shit outta me 🥺 May I ask you a question? I don't know how you feel about this but just this one? Are my gut instincts right on me feeling he's a narc? I'm trying to calculate which patterns I'm drawn to in men and pick up on and "find appealing", so I don't have to go through this all the time and stop in my tracks before it becomes too late!

It may be different than other request, I'm not sure but I was pulled to this reading for this very reason! At this point I'm just trying to brainwash myself into liking healthy "patterns" the way I do "negative" and "unavailable" ones. If you have any tough advice or life lessons to share from personal experience perhaps that would be awesome too, I'm trying to connect to see how I can overcome these things! Thanks 🙃

I'm sorry to hear about your struggle with discernment in men/ppl, I hope you can learn to see through the mask of others (it takes time and patience but it's possible).

But.....I think you are wrong about Lee soo hyuk being a narcissist (it's a personality disorder that I'm not too keen on ppl throwing around so freely), he can be cocky, materialistic and controlling but hes no narcissist. I actually sense an underlying insecurity and lack of a personality in him, surprisingly. The man is so damn mutable that if he doenst know who he is now, he will soon not know. Also, his energy is very nervous/unsure especially in relationships, hes definitely out of his element when it comes to love. And that's what creates a bad individual to date, that unsurity of his, that I dont know what the hell I'm even doing here energy, leads to all of his insecure and weirdo behaviors in a relationship. And its something he needs to work out (or he could choose to remain a bachelor forever 🤷‍♀️). And those personal issues of yours will need to be worked out as well before attempting to return to the dating scene or you may continue the cycle of bad relationships etc....

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totally-a-different-person · 2 years

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Tordedd fluff pls and if you don’t do fluff then smutty fluff? I just want something wholesome please

I will write you a smut, but just so you know you can request a regular fluff at @dinos-eddsworld-sidebolg and I'll write you one there, I've had this idea for a while anyway, I love fluffy smuts, by far my favorite genre of porn 10/10

Edd's Pov

I can't believe I'm doing this. I feel a little silly if I'm being honest, it's so embarrassing. I miss him so much even though we talk almost every night once he gets off work. But just recently I made a joke about how my libido has through the roof without him here to help me, leaving out the part about me often wear one of the hoodies he left here when I do touch myself. Apparently he decided he should do something about that, and sent me... well this. I sat there on my bed, staring at it, as if it were an enemy I was very suspicious of even though they promised we were on a truce. It got here a few days ago but I haven't used it yet, I'd just been missing him especially bad today and the idea of feeling good with something he picked out specially for me sounded really nice. I reached over and picked it up, it was one of those magic wand things, the kind that plugged into the wall. I had already plugged it in, the cord was long but there was an outlet pretty close to my bed so it didn't really need to be.

I turned it over in my hands looking at it. Mostly red of course, all the details in white. Speaking of which there were a few little buttons, and a bigger button above them. I assume the buttons control how strong the vibrations are, I've never had one like this so I'm a tiny bit nervous. I hesitantly pressed the button highest up, flinching slightly as it started buzzing in my hand, rather aggressively. I quickly pressed the bigger button that switched it off. Ok... should probably try one of the lower settings first. I pressed the one closets to the big one and it was a consistent, pretty gentle buzz. That's a lot better I think. I swallowed thickly and spread my legs a bit, leaning back against the pillows on the bed. I pressed it against my clothed crotch, gasping softly and jumping a bit, quickly moving it away. That... felt better than I expected it to. I let my free hand grab the blanked as I slowly put it back, sighing softly and it buzzed, resting against the base of my cock. God that feels pretty good.

After a few more seconds to get used to that, I clicked the second button, wanting to see what it was like. Right away it's got a stronger vibration, but I also has a pattern. I stopped for a second to figure out what it was, it'll buzz for a few seconds then stop for about half the time I buzzed for then keep going. I liked that one, it felt really good. It almost had a weird teasing feeling with the way it would stop. Which is ironic considering that's definitely something Tord would do. Makes sense that this is the one he would by. God, I guarantee he just adores the idea of me jetting off with something he bought, jackass. I swallowed thickly, shivering a tiny bit as I moved it up a bit, closing my legs a little on instinct. Woah... that's different. I used my free hand to unbutton my pants, shimmying out of then and kicking them to the foot of the bed, leaving me in just my underwear and the lightly oversized red hoodie. I slowly putting it back in the same spot it was before, gasping quietly and covering my mouth. It's a lot more intense like this, it feels so good. I sank down a little bit, pressing it against me a little harder and letting out a small moan. I pushed the sweater up to my face, it smells like metallic and smoke. I never used to like those smells but once I started associating it with Tord it became on of my favorites. I hid my face in the cloth, attempting to muffle the moans that kept slipping out. "Haah~" I mewled softly, my eyes peeking out.

"Ah!~" a surprised noise got out as I clicked the third button. Even stronger, and the pattern was gone. I leaned head back, whimpering a little. I heard the front door open and the others talking, but didn't pay it any mind. Matt probably just had someone over. I wish Tord was here, he's so good at this. I pressed it a little closer "Tord~" I moaned put softly. I can feel that tight feeling in my stomach getting more noticeable. I reached down to take off my underwear as well, wanting to properly feel it. But I didn't get the chance, the door opened, rather quickly. "Hey! I..." He trailed off. I screamed, dropping it and closing my legs. Tord had his backpack in one hand, the doorknob in his other. "Woah, if I had known this is what I'd be coming back to I would visit way more often." He mumbled as he closed the door, letting bag hit the floor. I feel like my face is on fire, oh my god I'm so embarrassed. I was gonna try to explain myself, but stopped when his face lit up. He has such a sweet, genuine smile. "Awe, your using the one I got you!" He beamed walking over to my bed. "Thi-this is the first time I've used it." I said as he sat down, the mattress creaking quietly.

He leaned into me and wrapped me in a big hug, I felt most of the panic and embarrassment fall away. He's so warm... I wrapped my arms around his neck and my legs around his waist, keeping him close and completely tangling us together. "I'm glad you liked it then" He coed holding me closer. I smiled a tiny bit and burried my face in the crook of his neck making him chuckle "I missed you so so much." It got kind of muffled by his shoulder but I'm pretty sure he got the message. He kissed the top of my head "I missed you too love~" he said sweetly. We just stayed like that for a minute and it was really nice, then one of his hands moved down a bit to my hip and his other on the bed to prop himself up, I let go of his neck. I could still hear the vibrator buzzing against my blanket since I never turned it off. He leaned in a bit to lightly kiss my neck, making me squirm a little. "I'm sorry for interrupting you," He whispered, teeth grazing my skin. He's obviously leading up to something. "Can I help as an apology? I don't need anything back, I just wanna make you feel good, I missed your little noises so much." My face went deep scarlet and I grabbed the blanket in my hands. That does sound really nice. "O-ok" I said with a light nod. He smiled and nipped at my neck, causing me to moan softly. "Great~" he purred before placing one more kiss on my neck and sitting up.

I sat up a little too as he reached over to the vibrator, looking at it. He let out a small chuckle, looking back into my eyes "You only put it on the third setting? Cute" the last part was a little more quiet. His free hand slid down a little from my waist to the hem of my underwear "Can I?" He raised an eyebrow as he asked, to which I nodded, blushing a bit darker. He kissed my forehead as he slipped them off, making my giggle a bit. His lips are all chapped, it's kinda nice. He pressed another kiss to my cheek, my cheeks hurt from how much I was smiling. "Tord" laughed, putting one of my hands on his chest but not pushing. He's so dumb. He laughed as well, moving away a bit. Gosh he makes my face so red I'm so happy to have him back. "Which setting was your favorite?" He asked looking back at the toy. "Ah, I liked two." I responded quietly, admittedly a little bit embarrassed. He clicked it down one, seeing what what the second setting was like. After a moment this smug grin set itself on his face "Oh, you like the way it teases you huh?~ I have an idea" I went deep red and before I could defend myself or argue he ran the hand that was on my side up into the sweatshirt, having me lay back. I didn't see which button he clicked but it was stronger than any of the ones I had tried, and there was no pattern to it. He pressed it against the tip of my member, making me jolt and gasp pretty deeply. He chuckled and moved the sweater up, trailing soft kisses up my belly, his hand resting on my chest. I shut my eyes as tight as I could, whimpering a little.

I feel all fuzzy and prickly. Gosh I missed this so so much. "A-aah!~" I choked out, moaning Tord's name. He took one of my sort of squishy pecks in his hand and played with the bud, making me squirm as he ran his tongue over the other sending big shivers up my spine. I could feel my climax building again, my body feels so hot. I think he could tell, my breath was shorter and the noises I made got a bit more high pitched. He moved it down, having it against the base for a few moment's before taking it away. What?? I whined and looed at him confused, but he just laughed "Oh what? Were you close? I thought you said you liked the stopping?~" He taunted, waving it a bit for emphasis. God, he's such an asshole. I should kick him or something. I just glared at him, face deep red. He put it back and pressed our lips together, I calmed down a little and wrapped my arm around his neck as I let my eyes fell shut. I could feel it building back pretty quickly up because I had been so close. "Ahh~ Tord~" I breathed as out lips parted for a moment before he put them back together. I kept letting muffled moans and yelps and the kiss, but I was hardly paying attention. My head feels like it's full of cotton.

My cock twitched and I was so so close, but he moved it away again. I let out an involintary whimper and moved away from the kiss but before I could say anything he spoke "You know what want your to say dear~" He said softly before kissing my forehead then my neck, putting it back slowly moving it up my length after a moment. That's when I realized what he wanted. I didn't mind at all if I'm being honest, I felt to hot and needy to be embarresed, at this point I was pretty far into that weird headspace he puts me in. It's nice though, feels safe with him. "Tord," I said softly, having to gather myself a little "please make me cum? I want you too so bad~" My voice was soft and breathy, but it was the best I could do at the moment. Thankfully it was more than enough, him chuckling softly and he clicked it up one more to what I'm assuming was the last setting. "Only because you asked so sweetly~" He coed before biting down on my shoulder making me jump a bit. I was pating softly, having a bit of trouble staying still. "Mmh!~ Tord!~" I gasped softly. "So so beautiful~" he purred softly making me shudder. My stomach felt so tight until the rope finally snapped. I moaned pretty loudly as I came, still gasping and moaning quietly as the high slowly wore off and I could sorta think. Tord turned it off and kissed my face a bunch, setting it aside. "Good boy, did such a good job for me~had" He praised softly.

I let out another small breath, looking up at him, happily accepting the affection. He's so so sweet, just amazing. He put his hands on my waist and had me sit up. "Do you have any lube?" he asked rubbing my sides with his thumbs. I nodded and gently placed one of my hands on his arm "In the drawer" I answered looking from him to the nightstand next to the bed. He nodded back and opened it up, looking through for a second before grabbing the bottle and closing it. He turned his full attention back to me, and maybe it's just because I haven't seen him in so long so I'm being weird, but that was nice. I like that I noticed that, it was a nice thought to have. He kissed me deeply for just a moment while he grabbed one of my legs and had me spread them, still holding my thigh for a moment while he opened up the bottle. He kissed my forehead while he poured some if it onto his left fingers, pressing two of them against my entrance. Still such a weird feeling.

I shivered a little as he pushed them inside, moaning quietly. He laughed a bit, pressing them further making me squirm. This only continued for a short amount of time though, before he stopped moving. I whimpered a bit but he shushed me, pecking my lips. "Relax, I've got you." He moved down a little, putting my legs on his shoulders and placing a kiss on the head of my cock, making me tense up almost immediately making him chuckle. He looked up at me with that smug face before taking it into his mouth and I gasped. Oh God, his mouth is so warm it wet it was overwhelming. "A-ah!~" I moaned sort of loudly, blushing deeply and shutting my eyes tight afterwards. He swirled his tongue around it and I gasped again, whining. He wrapped his right arm around my leg to keep me close, his other hand once again pressing two fingers inside me. I couldn't help yet another loud moan from getting out, one of my hands gripping to blankets tight and the other grabbing his hair. He moved his fingers in and out of e slower this time, pressing the against my walls, occasionally stopping to pay a bit of extra attention to my special spot, making me gasp and moan right away, sometimes even bucking my hips if he caught me off guard. Needless to say I was kind of a mess. I'm not proud of it, but I really couldn't help it. With his tongue on my member while he gently fingered me felt so so wonderful, it was way too much, coherent thought was out of the question. I was just a red faced moaning mess, even tearing up a little at this point. "Tord!~"

That's another thing I did really miss, he's so good with his fingers, and he's always so good at finding all the right spots with them. As if reading my mind he pressed into my prostate especially hard, and I let out a noise between a yelp and a moan, arcing my back just slightly. I felt him chuckle around me, sending shivers up my spine. "To-tord I'm gonna cum- A-AAH!~" my warning was cut off by another involuntary moan when he rubbed against my spot with both of his fingers, I'm pretty sure that was him letting me know I was aloud. I ended up melting against the pillows, panting softly, gasping and letting out breathy moans. I feel so so unbelievably warm, like even under my skin. It's tingly, feels sort of exciting. "Oh, ohhhh~ Tord!~ Oh please it's so good please don't stop!~" I begged, squishing my legs around his head a little bit as I felt myself over my peak. "Haaah!~" I moaned out, sinking down just a little bit more as I felt my mind completely fog up for a good couple seconds, leaving me completely helpless in his arms. He took his finger out making me shudder just a bit, before kissing my cheek. "Do you want to go again?" He asked softly, looking into my eyes. I shook my head a little bit before actually answering him, having to gather myself enough to talk "I-I think I'm all done for right now" I said with a small laugh as he kissed my face once again. "Sounds good to me" He purred pulling me a little closer so he could properly cuddle me. I smiled a little and leaned into him, wrapping my arms around his neck and got comfortable, already feeling a bit tired. He's so warm and nice I love it so much.

He kissed my forehead softly "I love you" I felt myself smile even more, blushing bright red. "I love you too" We ended up falling asleep like that even though he told me the next morning that he had planned to take me to dinner. It was ok though because we woke up crazy early since we went to sleep at six pm, so we just got all dressed up and went to get breakfast, I'm gonna miss him when he has to go.

#sinsworld #sinsworld edd #sw edd #sinsworld tord #sw tord #tordedd

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luminberry · 2 years

Note

Hey, I've been... going through a lot recently. Can I get some comfort noms from one of the members of the Annex crew? I would request Tricky, but I just feel like, after meeting the Arena peeps again and again, I know them better and... I don't feel like Tricky would be one to comfort someone. (You can do both and some point if you want or feel like it, I'm just really tired and upset and mentally drained of everything.)

im not the best with loose prompts but i'll give it a shot, apologies if this is late but do try and take care of yourself.

You hadn't been feeling very good since the third imprint had taken place. Everything was the same, again and again down to the damned weather patterns you noted.

It was having a bad affect on you that much you could tell. No one remembered you, to a extent not even Doc did aside from the bare bones basics and whatever he more than likely kept hidden from you from the very beginning.

Seeing faces you were already so familiar with before regard you as a very odd stranger only made it worse..No one would remember the memories you carried with you from each repeated life burned into new skin. You weren't sure how to address it when you were sure you'd be regarded as another insane person running through the streets of Nevada...

So you fell into a depression over trying to reason it out with only yourself to fall back on. None of your recruits or workers seemed to know what had happened when you suddenly became unresponsive and outright sullen for several days on end..It was worrisome to them that much was evident but unable to decide on what to do.

Well, all but one that was.

Skinner was a GOL3M of many skills that he took pride in, the top being able to ensure his patients were well taken care of and left his care happy and satisfied..And once he caught wind of his own employer falling ill in a different way he decided to make a personal call.

Skinner found you in your room huddled under a small nesting of blankets, you looked to be in quite a sorry state of being, that much anyone could tell just by looking at your tired face.

"What seems to be the problem today? You are usually my most jovial patient, but I've received word something seems to be the matter. I'm licensed to heal more than physical wounds you know. "

"It's...you'll think I'm crazy if I tell you what's bothering me..It won't make any sense."

"My dear I've seen all sorts of strange and crazy things in my career, whatever is troubling you I'm sure we can fix it together!"

As he talked a large warm hand found its way onto your head, gently ruffling it as the sheer size of it briefly engulfed your face from view..The warmth wasn't bad, you didn't realize how cold the annex tended to get at night.

If Skinner noticed you leaning into the gentle touch he thankfully didn't say anything, something you greatly appreciated.

You told him what troubled you, told him more than probably anyone else had a right to know. But in that brief moment of weakness it felt right to let your vulnerability show for once if only for this moment in time.

As you finished Skinner was silent for a few minutes, quietly mulling over the things you told him. The whole time he was silent however, his hand never strayed from your head, gently mussing the hair between his large fingers.

"Well now..I will admit that is a fair bit unusual to hear, a first even. But! It does give way to what ails you, and that my dear patient I can break down easily. You need close comfort, you feel untethered in this life of yours. A solid anchor will help ground you, perhaps a experience you've yet to have, something I think I can administer."

You sat up a little bit in your nest of blankets, very much intrigued on what he might mean..you had a few ideas but..None of them seemed to fit Skinners personality...

"Will you allow me to proceed with the procedure then? If at any time you wish to back out of the treatment I will accommodate for you."

You were interested and gave him permission to do..whatever the hell it was he was going to do to you.

Skinner nodded and shifted to take your head between both hands for a moment to study you, at this close angle you were very much aware just how small your current imprinted body was compared to how big the GOL3M was. You were stirred out of your thoughts as he removed the ever present medical mask from his face and stretched his jaws wide..you felt a tad bit light headed for some reason.

Was it just you or was Skinner getting bigger?

You were stunned as that mouth came closer slowly, feeling yourself being lifted up some from the bed you were distantly aware that he intended to eat you whole. Something about it seemed alarming but, a part of you knew Skinner wouldn't do anything to hurt a patient of his..

He slipped you inside with little to no resistance, mouth coating you with saliva readily as he worked to push you down into his throat with a gentle precise movement..it seemed like he had done this before. It was almost unbearably warm where you were, muscles all around you pulling you deeper and deeper still.

You could make out the loud but dull thrumming of Skinners heart and other bodily noises, and before long you felt the last of yourself being hidden away behind Skinners teeth and your journey speeding up until you felt yourself being forced to curl up in what was likely the stomach.

A deep sigh rang out all around you once you were settled in the dark warmth all around you.

"Are you comfortable in there? I admit it has been a fair amount of time since I've had to administer this type of treatment. But you will be safe regardless. You'll be released in a hour and a half's time to clean up and do a check up to see if your state has improved or not."

This was the treatment he had decided to give you? ...Well it was oddly cosy, you've never felt closer to anyone than you were right now. Hidden away in plain sight but far from alone, and someone was aware of you at all times..It certainly was a new experience.

"If it doesn't seem to be working we can repeat the procedure as much as needed..Or employ one of the others to lend a hand in the treatment. They've all been quite worried over you. New or not you will always have friends and confidants here. Now do rest up, I'll alert you when it's time to come out."

You felt a strange tug in your chest hearing that the others despite never knowing you still cared deep down...It was nice.

Giving the walls holding you a few gentle rubs you settled down to let the heat lull you to sleep for a while.

#mawdness combat #extreme cuddling #soft vore #mawedness combat #safe vore

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yelpfic · 1 year

Note

Fic prompts 54 and also 55 ?

54. What’s the fandom/pairing distribution of your posted fics?

You so didn't ask for this, but when you said distribution, I instantly went to the spreadsheets.

My main fandoms are clearly Genshin and ES21, but I mostly write for exchanges these days, so that ends up in this huge long tail of random fandoms (truncated in this chart to preserve space). It's been fun to try new fandoms based on what my recipient requests, but it also feels a bit weird to just write in a fandom without ever even wading into it as a reader - kind of like I'm showing up at a party without carefully scrutinizing the social norms first!

Well, I'm clearly into ZhongXiao, but my pairings beyond that are also quite random. Can you believe that an Ishimaru pairing is tied for third place? I'm happy for that boy, honestly.

I'm not much of a shipper, and I tend to enjoy exploring different permutations of characters I don't see often, as well as platonic &-pairings. I suppose ZhongXiao is an outlier (honestly also fueled by exchanges!).

55. Have you noticed any patterns in your fics? Words/expressions that appear a lot, themes, common settings, etc?

Themes: absolutely! I started this account because I wanted to write my id, and I have certainly done so. I love themes of power imbalance, fear, mercy, loyalty, and those are what show up most in my writing. I like to think that I turn it off for exchanges when my recipient gives me no sign of wanting those things, but if I really over-analyze myself, exploring those dynamics is probably what motivates most of my (non-exchange) writing.

Words/expressions: I think this is something that readers will be more likely to notice than writers. These patterns are almost invisible to me because they’re how I think and thus almost invisible to me.

But yes for sure.

For example, I way overuse phrases like "it seemed like", "she found that", "apparently", "somehow". I think at the time of writing, I'm trying to convey the uncertain perceptions of the narrator, and maybe also inject some dry humor. But in the end it feels wordy, distant, and unneeded. Those are some things I try to cut out.

Along a similar vein, I filter way too much of the narrative through the lens of: "When he thought back, it was clear that...", "She glanced over and noticed that...", etc. Those are all a bit redundant - if I write that a cheetah raced by, it's clearly because my narrator just saw it, no need to say it. (TBH I've done this a lot in these last two asks...) Again, things that I've noticed recently, and am working on improving!

If you've noticed other phrases I overuse, I would love to hear about it and use that feedback to make my writing less repetitive. :)

Thanks for the asks!

#asks #meme #fic meta #writing meta

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bi-bard · 3 years

Text

Commitment - James Wilson Imagine (House MD)

Title: Commitment

Pairing: James Wilson X Reader

Requested: nope

Word Count: 808 words

Warning(s): fears of commitment, mention of past bad relationships

Summary: (Y/n) has recently realized that their boyfriend of a few months, James, seems to be avoiding them. They confront an old friend in the hopes of getting answers and finding a way to help.

Author's Note: I swear that every time I watch an episode of House MD, I feel like I need to write for one of the characters.

---------------------------------

"Greg," I called as I saw him limping out of the elevator and walking toward me.

He quickly turned around and started walking in the other direction. He clearly knew what I was going to ask him about.

"Greg," I said again as I jogged over to him. I stepped in front of him.

He went to step around me but I moved in front of him.

"Oh, this is just childish," he rolled his eyes.

"You're giving me a lecture about being childish," I asked.

He tried and failed to step around me again.

"I have a quick question," I explained.

"What?"

"Why is James avoiding me," I asked.

"This is why you're keeping me from my job," Greg rolled his eyes again before walking around me.

I followed him, "You don't have a case, I checked with Chase."

"I have other responsibilities," he replied.

"Which you never do because you find them boring and pointless," I countered as we walked into his office. "We've worked together for years, Greg. Don't bullshit me."

"Why don't you ask your boyfriend why he's avoiding you-"

"Because he's avoiding me... haven't really had a chance for a proper conversation."

Greg looked at me for a second before sighing and looking down.

"Please," I begged him. "I love him. I wanna know what's wrong so I can help him."

Another sigh before he looked at me.

"He's scared," he said simply. My face must have shown clear confusion. "If you haven't noticed, Wilson has not had a lot of luck in relationships. Failed marriages and dates. I think even I've had better luck than him."

As Greg spoke, I bit my lip and furrowed my eyebrows a little. Of course, I knew about James's past when it came to relationships. I just didn't care about it. I didn't see the importance of dragging up his past because he had seemed to learn from it.

"He thinks he's going to mess things up with you," he shrugged at the end.

"Oh no," I mumbled. I went to turn around and quickly leave Greg's office but stopped at the door quickly, "Thank you, Greg."

"Just don't tell Wilson that I told you," he replied. I grinned and nodded before leaving the room.

I walked quickly to James's office.

I spotted him shaking hands with an older man just outside the door. The man walked away, indicating the end of an appointment.

I walked over, following James inside of the office.

"Can we talk," I asked as I shut the door behind me.

"(Y/n)," he grinned at me. "What's going on?"

"You've been avoiding me," I pointed out. "We need to talk about it and cornering you in your office seems to be the only way to get anything done."

"I...," he trailed off, not knowing what to say.

"Sit down," I pointed toward the couch in his office.

He followed my instruction and I sat down next to him. I reached over and grabbed his hand, taking note of how he tensed up slightly.

"You're scared," I said. "About this... about us."

"I'm not scared of our relationship," James replied. "I'm... I'm scared of ruining our relationship. I have a pattern of that."

"But you've learned from it," I added. He chuckled. "And you aren't by yourself here, James."

He looked at our hands but didn't say anything.

"We may have just started dating a few months ago, but I've loved you for years," I placed my free hand over my heart, hoping it would help him understand me more. "If you were going to drive me away from you... from us, it would've happened years ago. I love you, James Wilson."

James didn't reply.

I sighed at the silence before standing up and going to leave his office.

"Wait," he said as I started opening the door.

I stopped and turned to look at him, hand still on the doorknob.

He walked over and grabbed my hand again, "I love you too. And I'm sorry that I'm not great at all of this-"

"I'm not asking you to be great or perfect," I shook my head, running my thumb over his knuckles. "I just want you."

He smiled at me.

I stepped forward and kissed his cheek gently, "I'll see you after work tonight. We can go to dinner."

"Okay."

"I love you," I repeated.

"I love you too."

I walked out of his office and back toward my own.

"Talk go well," I saw Greg leaning his head out of his office door.

I smiled and nodded, "Yeah. It went really well."

"Good."

"Good?"

"You make him happy. I would have to talk a lot of sense into him if he let you slip away. You saved me a lot of work."

I chuckled and continued my walk, "You're welcome, Greg."

---------------------------------

Masterlist

What I Write For

Request Guidelines

Musical Prompts

Small Moments With…

When Worlds Collide (Doctor Who Crossover Series) Masterlist

Some Original Characters

folklore/evermore Writing Challenge (and Masterlist)

#james wilson fanfiction #james wilson imagine #dr james wilson imagine #dr james wilson fanfiction #james wilson x reader #dr james wilson x reader #house md imagine #house md fanfiction #house md x reader #imagine #fanfiction #x reader

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shitty-marvel-fan732 · 3 years

Note

Hi can I request a peter parker x barnes-Rogers reader (steve and Bucky's daughter) and me and Peter find out I'm pregnant with Peter's baby and we try to keep it a secret but everyone is suspicious of us cause I've been really poorly lately and Peter is being overprotective and one day Peter accidentally says "don't do that it could hurt the baby" or "and everyone freaks out and me, Peter and my dads have a long talk but everything is fine thanks xx

Unexpected

Pairing: Peter Parker x Barnes-Rogers! Reader

Requested?: Yes!

Word count: Almost 7k

Warnings: Pregnancy, some angst but thats it I think?

Author's Note: Yessssss this was so fun to write! Very excited to be back to posting on this page again. Thank you so much for the request! Hope to start adding in more content soon, so if yall have any requests feel free to send them in! And if you have requests sent in already, know that I love you and I will be getting to clearing out my inbox here pretty soon 🥰

Taglist: @just-that-bi-girl , @winterfrostsarmy

---------------------------

In retrospect, the entire team should have realized what was going on with you a lot sooner. To their credit, most of them had noticed that something was different about you, but other than Nat and Wanda none of them had a guess as to what exactly that was.

The men appeared completely clueless in respect to the cause of the recent changes in you. Even Clint, a married father of three, hadn't caught on even after he'd seen you leaving the bathroom having clearly just thrown up. Tony had been the closest to figuring it out of the all men, having noticed your odd mood swings and crying fits as they became more and more frequent. He noted the same behavioral pattern as he'd found himself stuck in after the Battle of New York, and secretly worried for your mental well-being. He hadn't felt comfortable enough to broach the topic with you just yet though, instead opting to watch you from a distance for the time being.

The women, however, seemed to understand almost instantly what was going on. Nat had figured things out once she realized that you had been skipping training lately and noticed that you and Peter barely appeared to leave one another's sides for even a moment. Wanda based her guess almost solely upon the fact that she could just feel that something was different about you; your entire energy had changed in the last few weeks and she noted it even before Peter had. Both women had their suspicions, but had seemingly agreed to keep their thoughts to themselves until you were ready to tell the team what was going on.

Your dads were a different story altogether.

It took Steve and Bucky much longer to notice something had changed with their daughter, Steve longest of all. Either you'd done a great job of avoiding your Pops or he'd been incredibly unobservant (or more likely both), but he hadn't seen anything that he would've considered out of the ordinary for you.

That is, until today.

"AAAAUUUUUUGGGGH"

Steve was on his feet in an instant, sprinting into the kitchen at the sound of your enraged scream. He skidded to a stop and surveyed the room with a trained look for the source of danger, but found none. In fact, you and Sam were the only two in the space as far as he could tell. Sam's back was pressed snugly against the furthermore countertop as you practically cornered him, the older man clearly caught off guard by your sudden burst of rage. You flung your hands around wildly as you yelled, one gripping a box so tightly that your knuckles were beginning to turn a concerning shade of white.

Completely bewildered, Steve watched in stunned silence for moment as you fumed and screamed expletives at the slightly-terrified looking Sam, without any clear indication as to what had happened.

"I CANNOT FUCKING BELIEVE YOU, YOU GODDAMNED ASSHO-"

"Y/N Barnes-Rodgers!" Steve scolded you finally, momentarily stopping your verbal assault. "What in God's name is going on here?"

Your eyes turned to your Pops' briefly before flickering back to glare in Sam's direction.

"Pigeon-brain ate the last of my oreos," you seethed, walking forward and jabbing an accusatory finger to Sam's chest, his hands instantly flying upwards in surrender.

Steve felt his jaw drop in utter disbelief.

“You-,”

“What’s with all the commotion in here?” Bucky interrupted, striding into the kitchen much as Steve had moments ago and joining his husband's side with a confused look on his face. Steve crossed his arms and frowned at their daughter.

“Apparently our daughter is screaming at Sam because he ate her cookies.” your Pops explained tersely.

“Not cookies, oreos,” you muttered, glare never wavering from Sam. You furiously threw the offending empty package roughly at his still bewildered face in lieu of another expletive. Sam was evidently so bewildered, in fact, that he didn't even flinch as the box hit his head and bounced pathetically to the floor.

Bucky raised his eyebrow.

“And that’s why you’ve been screaming like that?” he confirmed. You nodded, arms crossing your chest stubbornly.

Bucky shrugged, looking towards his husband with a look of indifference. “Makes sense.”

“No, it absolutely does not make sense,” Steve lightly scolded, glancing at Bucky with a pointed look before returning his gaze to you. “Y/N you’re completely overreacting. Apologise to Sam right now.”

Your mouth dropped open, and you gaped at your dads with an expression that was equal parts betrayal and rage.

“No.”

“No?” Steve repeated incredulously. He stared at you with disbelief, looking between you and Bucky like he was hoping he’d somehow misheard you. You met his glance with an equally stubborn look as you planted your feet solidly beneath you and tightened the cross of your arms. “What do you mean, no?”

“You heard me,” you spat, unwavering.

Sam merely looked confused as he watched the two of you argue, if albeit still a bit scared, but Bucky was sure his shock was evident on his face. You never back-sassed your Pops, not even when you were really angry, and Bucky only felt his disbelief grow at the prospect that your attitude was all due to a few cookies.

"Y/N, you don't get to tell me no," Steve ground out carefully, voice stern with a rare sort of parental authority he seldom had to use with you. In fact, Bucky was pretty sure he hadn't actually heard him use this particular tone since way back when you were a toddler testing the limits of your dads' patience. But unlike your three-year-old self, you didn't back down at your Pops' disapproving tone; in fact, you met his intense stare with a flippant roll of your eyes, deepening your dad's shock at your abrupt behavioral shift.

"He fucking knows what he did, everyone knows those oreos are mine," you snapped, eyes alight with a kind of fury the likes of which your dads had never seen from you before.

"Language!" Steve gasped at his daughter, his authoritative tone giving way to a spluttering one of complete disbelief.

"FUCK OFF!" you shouted instantly.

"HEY!"

Bucky had officially had enough. Irritation blossomed deep within his chest at the hurt he saw wash through his husband's eyes at your vulgar screech. Teenaged angst was one thing, but it was entirely another to blatantly disrespect Steve like you were. He still didn't know what was really causing you to act like this--because no way in hell could this be all over some oreos-- but he'd definitely passed the point where he even cared.

"Doll, that’s enough. Clearly you're upset, but you cannot speak to your Pops like that," he practically growled. You turned your attention to your dad with the same kind of indignant irritation in your eyes, a flash of fresh anger rolling across your face at the sight of Bucky's equally irate expression.

"You can fuck off too," you spat.

Bucky's jaw clenched dangerously, the muscle in his cheek jumping and twitching as he took in his daughter's crass retort. Sam had long since left the scene, the nearly suffocating tension officially too much for him to take. Steve's eyes went wide for what felt like the millionth time since he'd first walked into the kitchen. If he hadn't known something was wrong before, he undoubtedly did now.

You may not disobey him often, but you never snapped at Bucky.

Steve had long since accepted that, though you loved the two of them the same, you'd always liked Bucky more. A daddy's girl from birth, you and Bucky had always been inseparable-- so for you to now scream and curse at him like this was like a flaming-red flag in Steve's mind.

Something was definitely wrong.

"Excuse me?" Bucky hissed. The two of you faced one another, arms crossed and expressions grim. You planted your feet even more solidly underneath you, staring your dad down with a fury so intense it was almost palpable. If it weren't for the overall tension of the situation, Steve might've teased the two of you for your near-mirrored positions.

"Y/N? What's going on, I thought I heard yelling?" Peter asked as he practically skidded into the kitchen. He immediately joined you, face morphing into a look of utter concern at the sight of yours and Bucky's standoff. Steve braced himself, mentally apologizing to Peter for the verbal assault that was surely coming his way.

But it never came.

It was as if all the unwarranted anger was sucked from your body in a rush as soon as you caught sight of your boyfriend. Your face crumpled into an anguished expression, and Steve could see how the tears welled up in your eyes instantaneously. Peter clicked his tongue in pity and you thrust yourself instantly into his awaiting arms. He gripped you tightly, and you eagerly buried yourself further into his embrace. Face smashed tightly against his chest, you began to sob uncontrollably.

Your dads gaped at the scene, wide-eyed.

"S-sam ate my oreos a-and now everyone's mad at me, and I j-just wanted my snack!" you all but wailed, voice muffled by Peter's body.

Bucky blinked once as he turned to his husband, total confusion written all over his features. Steve just gaped in response, unable to formulate a semi-coherent thought, let alone words.

"Oh angel, it's okay," Peter cooed softly into your hair, hands rubbing up and down your back soothingly as you continued to cry. "I can go and get you more oreos; don't cry Y/N/N, I'll just run down to the store right now to get you some."

Lifting your head from his chest, you seemed slightly placated and hopeful as you sniffled and looked up at him.

"C-can I come with you?" you asked him shyly, tear-stained cheeks turning a slight shade of pink at your childish request. Peter smiled fondly down at you, clearly happy to see that you were feeling better.

"Of course, it'll be nice to walk with you," he smiled sweetly at you and lightly kissed your nose. You giggled as you removed yourself from his embrace before walking over to your dads.

"M'sorry I shouted daddys. Love you guys!" you apologized in a chipper voice before kissing both of the men's bewildered cheeks.

The two supersoldiers both stood in stunned silence as they watched you leave hand in hand with Peter, who briefly shot them an apologetic look before the pair were gone. Steve thought he heard Peter mumbling something to Y/N as they left, but the only words he could pick out were "not good to get so worked up", which only confused him further.

"What in the hell was that?" Bucky grumbled, face still crinkled with bewilderment. Steve simply shook his head.

"I have absolutely no idea. I've never seen her behave like that, have you?"

"Nothing like that, but she was acting funny the other day too," he frowned, recalling the scene he'd walked in on just a few days prior. "She was full out sobbing on the couch a few days ago over a toilet paper commercial."

Steve gaped at his husband.

"Sh-she...what?"

"Doll have you seen your Pops? I can't find him any-"

Bucky's question died in his throat as soon as he hit the threshold of the TV room. You were curled up on the couch, arms wrapped around your knees as sobs racked through you. Peter sat next to you with his eyes crinkled in concern and hands rubbing gently at your shoulders as you cried.

"Y/N what's wrong, why are you crying?" Bucky asked. Feeling his protective instincts kick in instantly, he couldn't help but search the room with his eyes in search of any danger. Finding nothing, he narrowed his eyes at your boyfriend.

"Did he do something?" Bucky demanded. "Parker I swear to God if you hurt her I-"

"What? N-no I didn't do anything Mr. Bucky I swear!" Peter spluttered, eyes widening in fear at the terrifying look in your dad's eyes.

"Bullshit, then why's she crying like that? Of course you did someth-"

"N-no it's not P-peter dad!" you interrupted tearfully. "There was an ad on TV that just made me emotional okay? You know, the one with the boy crying in the bathroom and his dad offers him toilet paper for his tears?"

There was a beat of silence.

"Doll, you really mean to tell me that you're sobbing over a toilet paper ad?" Bucky asked, brows furrowed in disbelief. You sniffled as you nodded, and fresh tears began to pick your eyes once more.

"Yes! I mean it's just so inspiring," you blubbered. "I mean how often do you actually get to see a teenaged boy cry on TV? Never, cause toxic masculinity standards in this stupid patriarchal society we all live in say otherwise! And not only does the dad accept that his son is crying and is allowed to feel real emotions, he sits down to talk with him about them! I just got so happy thinking about all the little boys who will see this ad and feel the validation that they're normal for feeling sad every once in a while!"

Bucky just stared at his daughter with a blank look for a moment; he looked like he was unable to formulate a single response to the information he'd just been given.

"Well that's...uh….that's great I gue-"

"I can't believe you would just assume that me crying just had to be because of something Peter did," you interrupted, angrily brushing the leftover tears from your face. "It's so unfair, you always blame him for everything!"

"I-uh," Bucky stammered, flustered by the sudden change in your emotions. You scoffed and stood quickly from your spot in Peter's embrace, crossing your arms petulantly.

"It's true dad, you're always looking for something to yell at him for! It's so biased and unfair," you practically yelled. "Honestly it's such prejudiced bullshit. Some kind of outdated 'lock up your daughters' rhetoric that I can't believe yo…"

At some point during your impassioned speech you began stomping away from both your dad and Peter while still ranting. As your shouts became fainter and fainter Bucky found himself directing his dumbfounded expression at Peter instead. In a rare show of solidarity with your boyfriend, Bucky silently begged for an explanation as to what on earth had just happened.

Despite the way his heart was hammering wildly in his chest Peter remained silent. He offered only a passive shrug to your dad before he clambered to his feet and began following after you. If Bucky hadn't been caught so off guard he surely would've been suspicious at the visible sweat that was beading on Peter's forehead and the way the young boy's hands trembled as he quickly left the room, the question of what was causing your mood swings laying thickly unanswered in the air.

"What the fu-"

"She...a toilet paper ad? Really?"

"Yep, a friggin' toilet paper commercial," Bucky nodded solemnly. Steve blinked once, shaking his head.

"So what did you do?" he asked incredulously.

"Nothin'," Bucky shrugged. "She was so damned worked up that I figured she needed some space, and by the time I went to talk to her she'd already seemed completely fine. Thought it wasn't worth upsetting her all over again."

Steve snorted.

"Yeah right, you were just too scared you would make her mad again," he chuckled.

"Hell yeah I was," Bucky admitted freely, crossing his arms and shooting his husband a defiant expression. "You've seen her, you know how terrifying she can be when she's pissed!"

Steve chuckled once more, shaking his head fondly.

"Mmmm, and I wonder where she got that from."

Bucky narrowed his eyes and scowled at the implication, a surly look overtaking his features. Steve couldn't help but laugh outright at the expression on his husband's face; it was the exact same face you always made when you were annoyed, right down to the little pout in your lip.

"For the last time Stevie, she doesn't get that from me," he grumbled.

"Sure Buck, whatever you say," Steve laughed.

Though your odd behavior and mood swings were at least now on both your dads' radar, neither had any clue as to the actual reason for your sudden changes. The pair of them chalked up the incidents to little more than teenaged angst, however they had no idea how wrong they were nor just how soon they were about to find out what was really going on.

---------------------------

"I don't understand Y/N," Steve stated carefully. "Why exactly don't you want to go with the team?"

You shifted your weight from foot to foot anxiously, huffing out a breath in mock annoyance and very real frustration.

You'd been in the training room, lightly working out with Nat and Wanda when your Pops and Tony had walked in to announce that there was an urgent mission that apparently would require the entire team. Internally cursing your timing, you'd tried to sneak out of the room unnoticed, but as your luck would have it, your dad caught you. Now you were stuck arguing with your dads, the attention and curiosity of everyone in the gym directed at you.

Your heart was thrumming wildly in your chest as you furiously racked your brain for some way, any way, out of this assignment and this conversation without an actual reason.

Well, a reason you were actually willing to give, that is.

"Why does it even matter?" you snapped, hoping that no one clocked the tremor in your voice. "It's not like you guys even need me anyways."

"Doll, you always jump at the chance to come with us," your dad interjected. "So what's so different about today?"

"I just don't want to," you whined, lying through your teeth. "I'm tired and I don't feel good."

"But you were literally just training?" Sam pointed out. You narrowed your eyes at him, irritation bubbling under the surface of your anxiety at the contradiction. The older man shrank back a bit under your firey gaze, the previous incident in the kitchen clearly prominent in his mind as he stepped behind Wanda.

Clint snorted.

"If you could even call that training," he mumbled under his breath. Your jaw dropped.

"What is this, gang up on Y/N day?!" you sassed as your arms flew to cross your chest defensively. Your Pops shook his head.

"We're just worried Y/N/N," he reassured, brows furrowed with concern. "You've been behaving very strangely lately, and this is just one more thing."

"Yeah doll," Bucky nodded, agreeing with his husband. "So what gives?"

Your pulse sped up once more at the direct question, a sickening feeling rising in your throat like bile at the realization of just how suspicious your dads were. Unable to think clearly through your panic, you did the only thing you could think of.

You scoffed in fake disbelief, rolled your eyes, and began stomping out of the room.

"Y/N Barnes-Rodgers!" your dad shouted in an indignant and angered tone. "We are not done talking about this!"

Damn.

"What?!" you whirled around, stomping your foot like a child. "I just don't want to go this time okay?"

Bucky's face turned red at your open defiance, but Steve interrupted before he could even open his mouth to snap back at you.

"No Y/N it's absolutely not okay," he scolded. You felt the burn of unshed tears prick your eyes as they searched desperately around the room, mind racing to think of an excuse that would get you out of this situation.

"But-"

"No, no buts Y/N," your dad barked, clearly having composed himself enough to speak once more. His arms were crossed as he glared at you, and the stubbornly annoyed look on his face was enough to make the tears in your eyes begin to fall. A feeling of utter entrapment and fear settled in your chest like a suffocating weight as you felt the hot, fresh tears stream down your cheeks.

"Doll, are you crying?" your Pops questioned incredulously. "What on earth is going on with you?"

"Nothing! I just can't go today," you blubbered, past the point of being able to hold back your sobs.

"You can't go, or you won't go?" Bucky asked pointedly, evidently not swayed by your tears.

"It doesn't matter," you cried desperately. Your dad's eyes bored into yours directly as if he was searching your brain to find out what you were holding back from him.

"It clearly does matter, otherwise you wouldn't be acting like this," he continued harshly. "I'm not sure what it is you aren't telling us, but I don't even care at this point. Stark said he needs everyone and your Pops told you to go, so you need to get yourself together and go and get ready."

The tears were now cascading down your face in giant streams and your face was growing warmer by the second. You darted your gaze back and forth between the other team members' faces, still searching for some kind of last minute way out of this situation. Finding only curious or concerned expressions, you turned back to your dads with wide eyes. You felt your mouth go dry as your lips open and closed wordlessly, the severity of your current predicament weighing you down more and more by the second.

"I-"

"No. I don't want to hear another word from you Y/N," your dad snapped. "Go and get ready for the mission now."

"But she can't go!"

Time stopped for a split second as the entire room's heads snapped towards the desperate shout.

Peter had only just entered the training room, wondering where everyone was, when he caught the tail end of your dad's order. He couldn't help but blurt the first thing that'd come to mind, the implication of which only dawned on him afterwards. As he rushed to your side he shot you a sheepish look, and you internally cringed a bit at his slip.

Even though you were certain Peter's involvement would only further reduce your already slim chances of getting out of this mission without a full confession of what was really going on, you couldn't help but feel an inkling of relief as his eyes locked with yours. His hand immediately intertwined itself with yours once he'd reached you, and your belly fluttered with a warm tinge of comfort with the simple touch.

True, things were probably about to go sideways for the both of you, but at least Peter was here to go through it by your side.

"Excuse me Parker?" your dad spat incredulously, eyes blazing with anger at your boyfriend's outburst. "I don't recall asking you for your opinion on my daughter or what she can or can't do."

Peter stood a little taller as he looked Bucky straight in the eyes with an unprecedented amount of determination.

"She can't go." he practically growled, eyes stern and unyielding as he openly defied your dad. He was standing a half-step in front of you, tense back partially shielding you from the rest of the team as he spoke.

Even with his face turned the opposite direction you could see from his profile the way his brows were furrowed and how dark his normally chocolate brown eyes had gotten. You felt a slight shiver run up your spine at the fiercely protective energy Peter was radiating, and your heart felt a bit lighter at the way he stood up to your dad on your behalf. You squeezed his hand in an effort to ground him, and he softened marginally as he glanced back at you.

Your dad however looked as if he might combust soon based on the way his eyes bulged out and his face turned a concerning shade of red.

"What's that supposed to mean Peter?" Steve interjected carefully, his hand reaching up to rest comfortingly on his husband's shoulder.

"It means exactly what we said," Peter said firmly. "Y/N cannot go on this mission today."

The team watched the interaction between you, Peter, and your dads with their heads bouncing back and forth between the four of you like they were watching a tennis match. Not a word had been uttered from a single one of them, and yet they stood completely transfixed as they waited patiently to see the outcome of the argument.

"And why, pray tell, is that Parker?" your dad hissed, scowl etched across his features.

Peter's eyes traveled to yours, irises swimming with a silent question. Realizing that there was no way out, you took a steadying breath as you nodded softly and squeezed his hand once more in reassurance. Peter smiled at you fondly before dropping his smile and turning back to your parents.

"She can't go because...it could be bad for the baby."

You could've heard a pin drop in the training room. No one made a sound, no one even dared to breathe. The shock in the room was palpable, but you couldn't be bothered to even glance at anyone other than your dads, their reactions the only two that mattered to you in this moment.

Though you'd expected a rather explosive reaction from your parents (especially from your dad), you were met instead with blank stares. Your dads were simply staring at you and Peter in stunned silence, and their lack of a response actually frightened you more than the screaming you'd been anticipating for weeks now. The beat of silence seemed to stretch on eternally, though in reality it was probably no more than thirty seconds. You watched nervously, your hand becoming sweaty in Peter's as you waited. Finally, your Pops blinked and opened his mouth cautiously.

"Bad for the wha-"

"I SWEAR TO GOD PARKER THAT'D BETTER BE SOME KIND OF DISGUSTING PET NAME FOR MY DAUGHTER."

Ahhh. There it was.

Your dad had clearly broken through his frozen thoughts enough to respond, and you would've laughed if you weren't so terrified. He looked positively furious; his eyes were darker than you'd ever seen them and his face had darkened from red to an almost purple color that looked painful to say the least. His murderous gaze was hyper-fixated on Peter, and you couldn't help but step in front of your poor boyfriend in an effort to take some of the heat off him.

Peter, evidently, was having none of that, and he frowned before pulling you backwards and tucking you into his side tightly. If you hadn't been so focused on your dad right now you might've rolled your eyes at his over-protectiveness. Instead you allowed yourself the comfort of his embrace as you took a steadying breath.

"It's not," you responded as calmly as you could manage while your heart felt like it was going to beat out of your throat. "I'm pregnant."

Silence enveloped the room once more, and you could've sworn it was even more awkward than the first time. It must've been, because you could see Nat and Wanda ushering the rest of the team out of the gym out of the corner of your eye. You weren't quite sure if you were grateful for the privacy or more scared of how your dads would react now that you were alone.

Your dads stared at you and Peter with wildly different expressions. Steve was staring off into space and looking as if he was either going to throw up or pass out soon, and Bucky still looked as if he was about a half a second away from murdering Peter with his bare hands. To his credit, Peter was still standing by your side with the same look of determination as before despite this, but you could feel the way his pulse was hammering through his veins as he too carefully surveyed your dads' reactions.

You stood quietly, trying to be patient as you watched them, but the suspense and anticipation quickly became overwhelming and you couldn't help but blurt,

"Say something!"

Though both their gazes snapped up to your face with your plea, yet neither your dad nor you Pops said anything. You were suddenly overcome with the urge to explain yourself.

"I know that you're probably in shock or angry or maybe both- and honestly that's completely fair!" You rambled breathlessly. "I know we're still only eighteen, but I really think everything's gonna be okay? Really, I do. And I'm so sorry about today, believe me this isn't how we planned on telling you at all bu-"

"You're not coming on the mission," Steve interrupted, his voice completely devoid of emotion. "Nor is Peter. Your dad and I will be back later, and we're all going to have a long discussion."

It felt like all the air was sucked out of your body as you watched your Pops pull your dad towards the training room exit. You hadn't been fully sure of just how you were going to tell them, but never in your wildest dreams did you imagine that it would come out like this. Tears once more welling up in your eyes, your heart sank as you realized just how disappointed and angry they were.

"I love you," your voice cracked as you called to their retreating forms, unable to bear the sight of them leaving without reminding them. They both paused in the doorway, and without turning back both muttered that they loved you too before they were gone.

As soon as they left you immediately twisted yourself and thrust your face into Peter's chest, the tears flowing steadily as you sobbed. He wrapped his arms tightly around your shaking form, lips finding the crown of your head and hands rubbing soothingly across your back.

"Th-they hate me now," you whispered brokenly into Peter's soft hoodie in between sobs. "They hate me Pete, they're n-never going to forgive me for this!"

Peter shushed you quietly, gentle lips kissing your hair as he began to sway you back and forth slowly.

"They don't hate you angel," he soothed. "They're just surprised. Disappointed in the timing maybe, but they'll get over it. I promise."

"I never wanted it to go like this," you cried as you pulled your head from his chest slightly. Peter's hands left your back for a moment to come and rest on either of your cheeks. He leaned down to press a soft kiss to your forehead before retreating upwards to look deep into your eyes.

"I know you didn't sweet girl, but it did," he said gently as he brushed away some of your tears with the pads of his thumbs. "It did and it's going to be okay. We'll talk to your dads when they get back and clear everything up. And no matter what, you and I are going to get through this together, okay?"

You sniffled softly, nodding sadly. Peter's eyes were swimming with guilt and dejection at the sight of the empty expression on your face. He didn't know how to comfort you in this situation, but it was like every molecule in his body was demanding he do so. He leaned down once more to press a loving kiss to your forehead, then your cheeks, your nose, and finally your lips.

You sighed, head retreating back to his chest once your lips disconnected. Sadness was still swirling in your stomach and you just longed for the feeling that being in Peter's arms brought. He seemed to understand perfectly- as he always did- pressing his cheek to the top of your head and wrapping his arms tightly around you without a word. The two of you stood there for a while, bodies entangled as you continued lightly swaying back and forth. Peter's hands continued to roam up and down your spine and your tears began to slow and dry.

Eventually you hummed, stepping back and up on your toes to press an appreciative kiss to Peter's face. He smiled as a faint pink tinted his cheeks at your display of affection. You giggled, slightly amazed that even after everything you two had done, something as simple as a peck on the cheek could still make him blush.

"Thank you," you said quietly, looking up into his eyes. He quirked an eyebrow at you in confusion.

"For staying with me through all that. I mean it's you, so I wasn't really worried...but my dad can be really frightening. So thanks," you half joked.

Peter chuckled lightly as he pulled you back into his arms once more.

"Of course angel. Told you, I'm never going to leave you. Even if your dad is super scary. You two are stuck with me now. I'm never ever going to leave you or our baby," he vowed quietly into your hair as his hands reached down to rub the small but growing bump in your tummy lovingly. "We're gonna get through this all together, as a family."

You felt tears well up in your eyes once more, but this time out of sheer love and happiness.

Damned hormones.

"You're gonna be such a good daddy Peter," you whispered gratefully. Hearing the slight crack in your voice, Peter pulled you away from his chest gently to wipe your tear stained cheeks once more.

"Hey now, no more tears today," he scolded playfully as he tugged you across the room. "When's the last time you ate something? We have the whole kitchen to ourselves now, and I bet my babies are hungry!"

You chuckled lightly as you allowed him to pull you along with him towards the kitchen. All the while, he chattered happily about the new article he'd just read about the specific nutritional needs pregnant women have, and your heart swelled at his thoughtfulness. You were still apprehensive about the upcoming conversation with your dads, but you were definitely feeling better. As much as their approval and involvement would mean to you, you'd come to the conclusion that as long as you had Peter by your side everything would work out alright.

Somehow.

---------------------------

"Petey, are you sure you don't need any-"

"No! Nope. I've got this," your boyfriend interrupted stubbornly. You signed, hand absentmindedly rubbing across your swollen stomach as you watched him struggle with the latch on the new crib the two of you were setting up.

Well, the crib that Peter was setting up.

It'd been a few months since the team had found out about the newest upcoming addition to the Tower, and you'd decided that it was time to begin decorating the nursery. Tony, of course, had offered to have someone come in to do all the heavy lifting, but Peter was insistent that he be the one to set everything up. His protectiveness over you and the rapidly growing child you were carrying had only increased as the months went on, so much so that you were lucky now if he'd even let you stand for long enough to watch him put the baby's furniture together. It was endearing, really, how much he cared for the two of you, but you'd be lying if you said that you weren't becoming a little frustrated with how little you could do to help.

"Really Peter, I can help," you grumbled, annoyed. "I'm pregnant, not disabled."

"Of course you could help angel, but I don't need help," he grunted, eyes never leaving the mass of parts around him. "You already have to do all the work of growing and housing our baby, the least I can do is build the crib!"

"Housing?" you teased, quirking an eyebrow.

"You know what I meant," he grumbled, and you couldn't help but chuckle at his growing frustration.

Peter was clearly losing his grip just a bit as he struggled to make sense of the instructions that had been provided with the pieces. He sighed, throwing the pamphlet down on the ground before trudging over to where you stood, leaning against the changing table that he'd put together a few days ago.

"I've engineered web-fluid from absolutely nothing, re-built computers from scratch and yet I can't even manage to put this stupid bed together," he whined as he dropped his head down onto your shoulder in defeat. "M'gonna be a terrible father."

"Ohhh bubs," you cooed sympathetically, smile falling quickly and heart lurching at the tone of pure dejection in his voice.

You wrapped your arms around him, one snaking around his back and the other cradling his head. Your fingers began instantly carding through his chocolate-brown locks as he nuzzled his nose lightly into the junction of your neck and shoulder. His hands wound their way around your waist too- or as well as they could with your round tummy in the way- and his own hands began absentmindedly tracing patterns over your bump.

"Peter you have to know that isn't true," you soothed, kissing his cheek softly. "You're going to be an amazing dad."

He hummed non-commitally.

"You think you're not?" you challenged, fingers halting their dance against his scalp. "Do the thing."

He raised his head from your shoulder, brows furrowed in confusion.

"What does that have to do with-"

"Do the thing," you interrupted sternly. He sighed and knelt down, grumbling inaudible complaints as he went. Once he was face to face with your bump he placed his hands on either side, thumbs rubbing soft circles into your stretched-out skin.

"Hi baby, it's me, your daddy," he spoke softly into your stomach, lips so close that you shivered with each breath that ghosted over your clothed belly. "I love you so much."

The baby responded instantly at the sound of Peter's voice, feet jabbing out and kicking excitedly from within just underneath where his hands lay. You felt your heart skip a beat at both the feeling the movement in your belly and the sight of the dopey smile that lit up Peter's handsome face as he felt his child's kicks. You rubbed over his hands lovingly and smiled down at him.

"See bubs? He starts throwing a party in there every time you do that. He loves you so much already, that's not gonna change," you reassured him softly. Peter's smile dropped just a little.

"But the crib-"

"Fuck the crib," you responded stubbornly. "You are the most caring, sweetest, and most thoughtful person I know Peter. You're going to be the world's best dad."

"Whoa whoa, believe we're the ones with the mugs that claim that title," a voice chuckled from the doorway.

You smiled fondly, eyes darting to find the sight of your Pops leaning casually against the frame of the door with your dad standing just behind him. Both had amused smiles on their faces, and you grinned widely. Even Peter smiled as he rose to his feet and wrapped one of his arms around your back to pull you into his side.

"Okay, third best dad in the world then," you amended, grinning.

"That's better," your dad piped up, smiling. "Now what's this I hear about a faulty crib? Sam said he can hear Peter cursing all the way from his room."

Peter groaned, tilting his head backwards in exasperation as you laughed out loud.

"It isn't faulty, I'm just an idiot," Peter grumbled. Everyone but him chuckled, and your dad walked further into the room. He clapped a hand on Peter's back as he grinned at the younger man.

"Normally I'd agree with you, but I know if I do Steve will bring up how Y/N had to sleep in the bassinet for like 6 months because we couldn't figure out how to put her crib together."

"You mean you couldn't figure it out," your Pops snorted from his place in the doorway. "As I recall, I was not allowed to help with the furniture because you were determined to figure it out on your own."

Bucky shrugged, seemingly indifferent to his husband's insinuation.

"Whatever. Point is, I wanted to see if you wanted some help putting it together. Thought I might be able to give you some tips," your dad continued. Peter's smile widened, and he nodded eagerly before your dad knelt down to help try and make sense of the directions.

The discussion after the incident in the training room had gone much better than you would've ever imagined. Both your dads had been relatively calm once they'd returned from their mission, and surprisingly there had been no screaming, no crying, and no threats towards Peter from Bucky like you'd been picturing. The four of you had sat down together and had a long, mature discussion of what your plans were in terms of raising and caring for your child, and by the end your dads had even seemed enthusiastic about the prospect of being grandparents. Their involvement and excitement had only grown in the following months to the point now that you felt silly for ever having been frightened to tell them.

And now as you stood watching your boyfriend and dad work together to put your child's room together, tears began collecting in your eyes and you felt your chest warm with feelings of overwhelming love. Steve, noticing your tears, moved to wrap his arms around you and you leaned your head against his shoulder. Rubbing your belly lovingly, you couldn't help but feel a wave of gratitude wash over you for the men in your life and love for the little one that you'd all be meeting soon.

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chosonore · 3 years

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summary: choso always takes good care of you, whether you're sick or not. even when you're sick and slightly delirious, your opinion could never be swayed - you loved choso with all your heart.

a/n: honestly, this is purely self-indulgent because i'm sick and i want a choso to take care of me until i know what's wrong and get better 🥺 it's inspired by the naoya fic i've written a while ago but uh this just really reads like a love letter to choso lol. i love him so much i'm not even kidding, no one could ever compare to him

if you were to describe the relationship between choso and you, it would be comfortable silence. choso didn't speak a lot, rarely starting a conversation on his own unless he was overcome by sudden curiosity. truthfully, you didn't mind as you were a quiet person yourself. and somehow, the communication was effortless, a silent and mutual understanding of your needs. he made you feel comfortable and safe, cared for as he always seemed to sense what you needed. falling in love with choso was easy and so natural, as if you'd been lovers in your previous lives. you'd been a couple for a long time now, but it wasn't until recently that you moved in with him. almost instantaneously, a routine was established - while you were busy with your studies, choso spent most of his time at the tattoo studio he recently opened with his friends. you didn't mind because still, he always made time for you. with no shadow of a doubt, he would always prioritize you before anything. so, every bit of time that you could get was spent together.

as any other day, you woke up alone in your bed, the scent of freshly brewed tea wafting through the air. choso sometimes left early in the morning to work on administrative tasks or tidying the studio but never failed to prepare you a little breakfast beforehand. as you sat up, a wave of nausea overcame you, quickly forcing you to lie down again. it was only then that you noticed you felt strangely cold and your nose was stuffed, shuddering uncomfortably in your clothes. it was rare that you got sick, so everytime it did happen, it drained you rapidly. blindly reaching for your phone, you texted choso, blinking at the bright screen.

me: i think i got sick :( can you pick up some medicine on your way home?

almost instantly, your screen lit up.

choso 💉: ?

"hello?" you croaked as you accepted choso's call and sniffled quietly.

"are you okay? do you want me to come home early?" choso might have sounded indifferent but you knew better. he would never show his concern to you, always wanting to keep his strong and protective persona. he was just that kind of person, he lived to be a good example to others.

"no it's okay, choso. i think it might be a really bad cold, that's all. i'll be fine if i get enough rest."

a hum. choso didn't sound convinced.

"then get some rest, yeah? make sure to have some tea. i'll wrap things up here and come home in a bit. call me if you need anything."

you hummed in agreement, making a weak kissy noise as you said goodbye to him and chucked your phone on the night table. no matter how much you wanted to convince him to continue his work, he would come home regardless. it didn't sit well with him to not care for you while you were sick. a small smile found its way onto your lips, how lucky you were to have found a lover like him. as you drifted off to sleep, choso was quickly finishing his paperwork, earning some amused glances from his friends. it was evident that this had to do with his girlfriend - choso would never let anyone tell him what to do nor do them any favours if it wasn't someone he deeply cared for.

"you're really speedrunning through everything to get back home to y/n, huh? you only got here," geto teased him, looking up from the sketches he was preparing for display.

"she got sick this morning. wanna be there for her in case it gets worse. i don't have any appointments for today anyways so you'll be fine," choso curtly explained, not picking up on geto's teasing undertone. even though they liked to joke about how whipped he was for you, they never questioned him - you were his love, his light. if anything, they envied him for the relationship, a relationship that flowed so effortlessly and easily like a spring working its way through bottlenecks and rocky river beds, silent and yet strong. geto pat choso's shoulder and shot him a knowing look, reassuring him that they could run the studio just fine.

even if you didn't sound like your afflictions were severe, choso still felt uneasy. he wanted to make sure you were okay, wanted to care for you. maybe it was moreso his fear of losing people he loved, but he couldn't deny his caring nature. on his way home, he'd picked up some ingredients to make soup as well as some medicine. music was sounding through the apartment as he entered and placed the bags on the counter, keeping an eye out for you. were you still in bed? he padded towards your shared bedroom, quietly nudging the door open as he squeezed his way in. you were laying on the bed, giggling at a book you were reading, not having noticed him yet.

the bed dipped next to you, making you drop the book you were holding. choso's twin tails came into your vision until you could see the entirety of him hovering above you, scrutinizing your figure in thought. "hi baby," he greeted you with a gentle smile, pressing a kiss to your forehead. "how are you feeling?"

"kinda achy and cold," you described with a pout, leaning into choso's touch as he brushed your hair with his fingers. "did you bring me some medicine?"

choso nodded, explaining that he'd be making you some soup as it was better not to take the medicine on an empty stomach. he wrapped you in the blanket before disappearing in the kitchen. you listened to the sounds in the kitchen, feeling more at ease now that he was home. you must have fallen asleep as the soup was done, its savoury scent rousing you from your slumber. as the primary cook in this household, choso's cooking skills were excellent and never failed to amaze you. sometimes you couldn't believe he was real. choso kept an eye on you as you munched away, handing you the medicine once you were done. he joined you on the bed, wrapping his arms around you as he pulled you towards him. you were placed on his lap like a baby, making you giggle as you leaned against his chest.

"will you play with my hair?" you requested with a small yawn. choso obliged, weaving his fingers through your hair as he worked through the knots and massaged your scalp. you hummed in relaxation, struggling to keep your eyes open. instead, you focused on the tattoos on his arm that was placed around your waist, tracing the patterns with your fingers. when you first met, the skin on his arm was sparsely filled, he'd only started on completing his sleeve tattoos. it was a slow and gradual process. you were always the first person he'd proudly showed a new addition to, and in a way, the tattoos marked the journey of your relationship. you were thankful for him, thankful to have found someone who silently understood you.

he was too hesitant to ask you just yet as you'd told him years prior that you weren't sure about getting tattoos but you knew he wanted to be the one to give you your first tattoo. maybe you were delirious from your sickness, maybe it was then in that moment that you realized you wanted to spend the rest of your life with him, maybe it was your overwhelming love- "choso? i think it's time i get a tattoo soon."

choso's hand came to a halt and he made an incredulous noise. "y/n, i don't think- it might be better if we discuss this when you feel better again."

"no, i'm serious. it's just... i trust you so much. you always take good care of me and you're just always there. i'm uh- i honestly can't imagine my life without you, i just love you so much," you confessed with embarrassment, hiding your face in your hands as you finished talking. choso chuckled as he pried your hands away, pecking your lips in adoration. he looked gleeful, as if hearing your admission of love for the first time - the feeling was mutual, you just couldn't believe he was yours.

"we'll talk about this again when you've fully recovered. but i'm happy that you trust me with this."

"i'll be fine soon, i just need a lot of vitamin c," you giggled hysterically. "vitamin choso."

choso groaned but couldn't stop the laughter tumbling from his lips either, opting to tickle your sides and blowing raspberries into your shoulder. you squealed, trying to push him off you before being pulled back into his arms again. choso buried his head in the crook of your neck, placing a kiss on it. he didn't show you his face, not wanting you to see his teary eyes.

"i love you a lot, you know?"

"i love you more."

#jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen imagines #choso #kamo choso #choso kamo #choso x reader #kamo choso x reader #choso x you #kamo choso x you #jjk imagines #choso imagines #jjk x reader #writing #if anyone's out there please send me choso dhshsgsb i'm just starved for someone to take care of me

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alwaysalreadyangry · 3 years

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Charlotte, I've wanted to get into poetry for a while but haven't really known where or how to start, mostly because I have this kind of maybe weird tendency to rush through poems like I'm gulping down water. Curious how one actually like, reads and enjoys a poem; would love to hear your thoughts on reading and reception. Also I'm looking for lush, angry, queer, weird poems filled with longing, and would love to hear any suggestions or recs you might have!

ooh this has been really interesting to think about!! have been rolling it around in my brain for a while.

so, first off, a disclaimer: i don’t necessarily think i am a great or even a very good reader of poetry a lot of the time, and that’s fine -- if it’s worth doing it’s worth doing badly, etc. i am easily distracted and i tire out quickly and my magpie brain will focus on like, the language of a poem to the detraction of all else, and unless i’m being paid to write about a book or a poem or something then i don’t think reading in a way that feels wrong or inadequate is a problem on its own. sometimes i just enjoy quickly skimming for the language, and that’s good, that’s fine.

BUT for wanting to read to get more pleasure from poetry: i tend to say to read it like this the first time if that comes naturally to you, as it often does to me. skim, read it through without paying attention to the narrative or syntactical structure, but instead just looking for anything that makes your brain sparkle -- for me it’s going to usually be imagery and/or sound-patterning. see if there’s anything that makes you curious enough to dig in, any lines or sentiments that you like on their own. the surface-level or immediate pleasures with poetry are great and often what makes it worth digging down into the other stuff.

then, if you want to dig into a poem, it’s time to re-read! this time i’d recommend reading with closer attention to the most straightforward level of narrative or meaning: what is the poem most obviously saying? i am not someone who subvocalises, and sometimes my instinctively fast reading speed makes it hard for me to actually do this if the poem is at all playing around with language. in that case, it helps to read out loud, and to only move on from one sentence or stanza (or whatever unit of meaning the poem is using) once i have figured out what it means on a semantic level. depending on the length of the poem, once you’ve figured out as much of it as you can or care to, i’d recommend another quick read through to try and consolidate all of that in your mind.

then -- well, then you’ve kind of got the basics and the stuff that you’re interested in, and it can be fun to look back at the bits you liked in the first place to see what they mean to the rest of the poem, what they mean in terms of what the poem is saying. it could be that a rhyme or a repeated use of assonance emphasises something... you might find that two words are being linked by internal rhyme that don’t seem to have much to say to one another otherwise. is there any meaning there, in that connection? does it change what the poem says? how does the poem and what it does make you feel?

and depending on the poem you then want to just read again looking for anything else significant. is there a part of the poem you dislike? if you reread looking out for that, can you work out what’s going on there and why you dislike that aspect of it?

this will only work with certain types of poem, admittedly. i like a lot of poetry that is more innovative and abstract, where i have no clue what a poem is saying or doing, but i like the language and the feeling of the syntax inside my brain. so i’ll reread those a few times but don’t really have a semantic framework to get into them. it’s more about the language.

and then there’s visual poetry which doesn’t make use of words but of like -- shapes or the relation of shapes to space, and then it’s just about, idk. how i decide to try and “read” those relations and shapes, which i have no real roadmap for. i often just find myself staring at it like i would visual art, or trying to somehow reenact the shapes with my body as i “read” (like when i read a visual poem earlier today that is just a sequence of bells ringing in different directions -- to keep track of it i followed the bell’s movement with my head, tilting it right and then left).

does that make sense? i truly think that we don’t need to understand poetry to enjoy it; that there’s no right way to read or enjoy poetry, and that if we find we’re reading a poem that doesn’t interest us or make us happy, you can just stop. although if a poem makes a reader uncomfortable it can be a good idea to follow this kind of reading pattern to try and work out why! i hope this makes sense -- i’m afraid my answer is essentially just “reread the poems a lot”, but it’s good to go in knowing what to pay attention to each time, even if it’s just “this time i pay attention to what i like” and “this time i pay attention to what i dislike”. my brain needs structure like that because otherwise it is too flighty and sticky and will just roll around one phrase it likes in there for hours.

in terms of poetry recommendations, this is oddly tricky because there’s such an unexpected gulf between UK and US poetry -- i read more UK poetry and while there’s been a big explosion in the amount of interesting & vital queer poetry being published here over the past decade or so, a lot of it is relatively hard to get hold of unless you’re constantly keeping track of all of the new presses publishing pamphlets. so this is going to swing more US-focused but i will see if there’s any UK stuff i can think of too.

so first off, a cheat: i would recommend getting hold of these two big anthologies of trans poetry and having a look through to see if any of the writers grab your attention. hopefully academic libraries will have these or will get them on request? i say, hopefully. there is we want it all: an anthology of radical trans poetics, which came out recently (and i don’t have a copy yet). and then there’s troubling the line: trans and genderqueer poetry and poetics, from 2013. not as politically radical i’m guessing, but still could be worth looking through to see which writers you connect with.

i am drawing a blank on other anthologies right now, but in terms of exploring UK poetry, you can access issues of the zine zarf online here and i recommend it. not all queer but the editor is and there’s a great collection of stuff in there. i also recommend getting hold of their pamphlets as PDFs here, try alison rumfitt and gloria dawson.

second off, these are some poets i think you might like, i will link to some sample poems. mostly contemporary but not all:

dawn lundy martin

CAConrad

jackie wang

robert duncan

jack spicer (PDF)

jay bernard

miriam bird greenberg

sofia samatar

samuel the nagid

vahni capildeo

sophie robinson

frank o’hara

agha shahid ali

i am sure there are many many others i am forgetting but! i hope this is helpful!!!

#answers #poetry

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littlepupthoughs · 3 years

Text

Warming Up to You- Chapter 4

Minors DNI.

CW: blood, loki x reader, I can't think of any more. This is just story building.

AN: now that I've got the smut out of my system and my first few fics under my belt, here's a chapter of actual plot. This is completely written on my phone so idk how long it is and it's probably riddled with errors. Let me know what you think!

_____________

The next morning greeted you with soft sunlight through the curtains of Loki's bedroom window. The stripes of light painted the room in a peachy glow that stretched over the bed. With a deep breath and even deeper stretch you notice the note on the otherwise empty pillow beside you. Unfolding it revealed the familiar long swooping handwriting that you had come to love, almost as much as the author himself.

"Good morning dearest,

I hope you can forgive my absence. Thor and I have been called on an impromptu mission. You seemed much too peaceful to wake and I'm sure you are worn out from last night. Make sure you have a good breakfast and remember to dress warmly. If this mission was anything like the last you'll be spending a lot of time if the lab when we get back. It will be a damn miracle if Robinhood doesn't get shot this time."

A smile tugged at the corners of your mouth as you read his reference to the most recent movie night. You had started working through a long list of films with Loki to help him better adjust to midguardian culture. Starting with Rudolph of all things since he was determined to understand all of Tony's nicknames.

You nodded to yourself deciding to start the day on a positive note despite your slight headache. Thankfully you had a stash of clothing in Loki's room for mornings just like this. Though what had started as a small emergency stash was quickly growing in to a drawer, not that either of you minded. Since announcing your relationship to the others just about everything was easier. No more stolen kisses around corners, just out of view. And sneaky late night meetings with your paramore had been traded for sunny picnics on the lawn.

You pulled on your sweater while making your way to your workroom, almost forgetting to grab food in your rush.

"Uhh...let's see..Breakfast...uhmm"

Rummaging through the pantry you quickly grabbed a granola bar and an apple. You promised yourself that lunch will be a bit more hearty, glancing at the clock as you sped off towards the lab.

The room was a mess. Bits of fabric strewn across tables, piles of leather sitting on top of paper patterns, and a half finished jacket hanging off of the mannequin in the corner. Keeping clothes on the backs of the avengers was a messy job. Constantly repairing tears and bullet holes kept you busy, but you preferred figuring out improvements over patches.

Your most recent endeavor was a new jacket for Natasha. She had requested a thinner more flexible design that she could move in while still consealing her weapons. While the last jacket she had gave her freedom of movement, some hydra grunt noticed the silhouette of her gun tucked against her side. While she ended up ok the mission could have suffered, and that was the last thing anyone wanted to happen.

Yesterday you had been stress testing different fabrics when you got news of the party. Taking a big bite of apple you looked around, regretting having abandoned your workspace in such a rush. Thinking back to the events of last night you smiled, it was definately worth it.

You hadn't expected another mission so soon and wished you didn't have to put the jacket on hold to put out mending supplies.

"But if this is anything like last time I'll have a lot of work on my plate."

You couldn't help but smile thinking back to loki's letter. He wasn't wrong, Clint always came back with bullet holes that needed repairing. So much so that there was a bet going around for how many missions in a row he would get shot on before coming back from one unscathed.

"Speak of the devil.."

Just a you finish setting up your mending and touch up supplies you hear the quinjet land. Suddenly the blue overhead light in the hallway starts flashing and your heart falls in to the pit of your stomach. The medbay alarm.

Sprinting out the door with to go kit in hand you round the corner almost colliding in to Bucky.

"Just the person I was looking for, they need you in medbay. We all got our asses handed to us and they could use an extra pair of hands."

"Shit. How bad?" You kept your voice as steady as possible but knew that your words gave away how worried you were.

"There was a remote detonator that got us by surprize, Wanda and Thor both took the majority of damage." Bucky spoke curtly, his years of being a soldier showing but he didn't sound quite himself.

Looking down you noticed this hands were balled in to fists and he had a sizeable gash in his thigh just as you rounded the last corner leading to medbay.

"It seems like you're forgetting about someone," you accused glaring up at him.

Before he got a chance to respond the double doors slid open revealing a crowd gathered around a very singed Wanda and Thor. Your heart jumped in to your throat as you searched the room for Loki. Finding him standing over his brother, clutching his shoulder as blood seeped out between his fingers. Even Natasha was bleeding while she assisted patching up Clint. This was worse than you expected from such a short trip.

#warming up to you #mcu fanfiction #loki x you #loki x reader #mcu fic

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gvf-imagines · 4 years

Text

Part 1

(Josh/Danny/Jake/Sam x reader)

Warnings: alcohol use, self harm scars

word count: 3252

Thanks to @callmekane for beta reading this fic!

A/N: I’m excited about what this story will bring! This is going to be a very smut filled fan fiction series where the reader has a very sexual and open relationship with all of the boys! I know some people won’t like it I’m sure but all criticism is welcome! Please leave comments and let me know what you think and of course if you have an idea for the story I’m totally open to hearing your thoughts! I hope you enjoy it my friends ❣️

If you’d like to be on the tag-list so you know when I post part 2 just message me or let me know in the comments!

—————————————————————-

You smiled as you ran off stage, the fans were still screaming and kept screaming until the next band took the stage. The air was electric, so many people, all here to enjoy the great communicator that is music. You closed your eyes to take it all in, to just listen and feel. You couldn't believe you were here, playing in front of this many people. This year you shared the stage with another up and coming band by the name of Greta Van Fleet. You hadn't heard of them before recently and they were actually really good. They had so much soul and passion in their music, it was true, raw talent.

You watched from the side stage as they played their eclectic set. The singer, Josh, really got the crowd going. He had so much energy and was really fun to watch. His voice was incredible, unbelievable even. He had this raspy, elegant twang in his voice, that truly matched perfectly with the music his band was producing. The drummer, Danny (if you remembered correctly), had such a powerful and classic Drumming style. It was full of life and emotion , just like you, he put his all into his performance. He was focused and truly the heart of the music. There was a guitarist and a Bassist, unlike your band which only consisted of you and your best friend. You, the drummer and your friend the singer and guitarist. The bassist, Sam, had a very cool way about him, his body moved with the music in a way that seemed beyond his control. The guitarist, Jake , was stunning, his hands danced along his guitar so expertly, you could tell he truly enjoyed his time with his instrument.

When they finished their set, the crowd erupted in a wave of applause and cheers, like bright yellow and orange fireworks booming through the air, you watched with your minds eye, in awe as they exploded and cracked in the sky. The Boys bowed and waved before walking off stage panting and sweating.

“Nice job!, excellent show” you comment smiling. Danny returned the smile with a grateful nod.

“Aw thank you, I'm sorry I don't think we had a chance to meet before the show, I’m Dan-” he began.

“You're Danny, Sam , Jake , and Josh” you said, pointing to each of them and smiling. They all returned the smile, there was positive energy just radiating from them, you could feel it like a blanket of warmth resting over you.

“My name is (y/n), it's so nice to meet you guys!” you chime happily. The lead singer, Josh smiles at and you think you catch a small wink as well, making your heart skip a beat. Perhaps you were seeing things. God he's handsome, his sparkling brown eyes, he had more structure in his jawline than you had in your entire life His chestnut hair was gorgeous and curly, his whole look just attracted you to no end.

Fuck.

“Hey your performance was super amazing too, your voice is absolutely incredible” Sam complimented, his voice popped all the bubbly thoughts of josh that foamed in your head. Thank goodness. “Yeah! You did an excellent job (y/n). Its one thing to be a good singer when you have three other band members to help you sound good, but you were out there all alone, just your voice and you still blew that crowd away” Danny added. You were blushing for sure now.

“Yeah your voice is crazy good, we're honored to play alongside you” Jake chimed.

“Oh wow you guys are gonna make me cry” you chuckle “thank you so much, that means a lot coming from someone with your talent” you reply. Sam waves his hand incredulously as if you were hyping them up and making them out to be better than they really were.. You weren't. They are awe inspiring musicians.

“Water?” a stagehand offered walking over with a cooler.

“Oh thank fucking Christ” Josh rendered making a bee line for the cooler. You chuckled, and now that you thought of it your throat was extremely dry from singing as well. Jake nicely offered you the bottle he grabbed with a smile. A true gentleman.

“Thank you!” you offer as you grab the bottle from him. You practically ripped the cap off and chugged the whole bottle. It was delicious and cold and ran over your tongue and down your throat with a refreshingly cold bite.

The five of you stand there and re hydrate for a minute before Sam speaks “we should go grab a drink!” he suggests with a slight raise of his perfect eyebrows. The guys look at you in waiting.

“You wanna join us?” Josh asks, flashing a pearly white smile. You look around at them for a mere second before responding.

“Sure! Yeah that sounds fun”

“Right on, I think I saw a bar down the street we can go to” Jake claims as you all head to the doors behind the dressing rooms.

Rain began to expel from the dark clouds above you as you all headed down the road. Cold air kisses your skin causing you to shiver slightly, you only had on black leather pants and a pink floral pattern blouse that you tied up a bit to expose part of your stomach. It was late, must have been almost midnight by now, the air was heavy with moisture and you could smell the rain soaked cement under your feet.

“Are you cold?” Josh questions as he walks beside you, he startled you a bit. You smiled and looked at your arms, they were dotted with goosebumps.

“Yeah kinda” you reply sheepishly. Josh instantly takes off the jean jacket he was wearing and handed it to you. Jake and the others were a few feet behind the two of you carrying on a conversation about the show. You reached out and accepted the jacket, Josh's gaze nonchalantly floated down your arm, his face fell when he noticed the deep scars that peppered across your skin near your wrists. You notice him looking at them before he brings his gaze back up to meet yours. Your cheeks burned with embarrassment and you quickly put the jacket on.

“I-I’m sorry, I didn't mean to stare” he says softly, looking down at the wet street. You knew by the tone in his voice he wasn't judging you. His look was filled with concern, not judgement.

“It's alright, people stare all the time” you responded

“It doesn't bother me so much anymore, i'm used to it.” you added. Josh nods, a sad look still lingers on his gentle face. His jacket was warm, his scent filled your nose, it was comfortable and soothing, much like the rain that fell from the sky. You looked at him out of the corner of your eye, you could tell he was thinking about something, he had that thousand yard stare stuck in his eyes. You hadn't known Josh for long but it's not hard to tell when someone is enthralled in thought.

“How long have you been singing?” you ask, trying to pull him from whatever trance he was in.

“A long time, most of my life really” he answers with a smile. Talking about his music clearly made him happy. He in turn asked you the same question. You laugh before responding.

“Honestly I've only been singing for a few years….drumming is my real talent and I've been doing that for most of my life, coming up on 18 years” you explain. Josh’s expression shifted from a smile to a look of surprise.

“Wow that’s awesome , are you self taught?” he asks again. You nodded “my dad taught me a few things here and there more when I first started out but, mostly I've taught myself” you said. Josh chuckled with a nod.

“That is really cool” he replied, you could tell by the tone and instance of his voice that he was genuinely impressed.

“Oo careful on the compliments you've never heard me play before, just because I've been playing for a long time doesn't mean i’m any good” you joke, Josh laughs, shakes his head and nudges your shoulder.

“Well have to get you behind Danny's kit some time” he implores. Hearing him say that made you happy, it meant he wanted to see you again.

“You guys did really good tonight, I cant believe I've never heard of you guys before really. It wasn't until my manager told me who I'd be playing with at the festival that I started looking into you guys.” you admit.

“Thanks you did an excellent job too, i really loved that first song you sang, ‘salt is my sugar’ I really resonated with that one, truly felt it, there's a lot of emotion in your lyrics.

“This is it,” Sam announces opening the front door and holding it for everyone to walk in. the smell of smoke and dark liquor hang heavy in the air. An ACDC song played over the speakers. It wasn't very busy, there was an older man sitting at the bar, a couple younger people playing pool and a few others scattered in booths. It was a total dive bar, a hole in the wall, which was just your style. You all sat at the bar on squeaky worn out bar stools.

“What can I get you?” the bartender asked, perching himself up with his arms rested on the bar as a washrag sat, oh so typically, on his shoulder as he awaited your response. Jake looked at Josh with a raised brow giving him that ‘get a load of this guy’ look.

“I'll have a beer,” Danny ordered.

“Me as well please” Jake adds.

“Southern comfort and seven up for me please” you order next.

“Hmm I'll have a long island iced tea” Sam says. You look at him holding back a chuckle Huh didn't take him for a long island iced tea kinda guy but to each their own. The bartender looked to josh.

“Salty dog please” he requests.

“Put your IDs on the counter” the bartender instructs as he turns around to collect everyone's drinks. The five of you did as you were told and laid out your IDs.

“So where are you guys headed now that the festival is over?” you asked playing with a stained, old coaster that sat in front of you.

“We’re going back to Michigan for some well deserved time off” Josh responds.

“For a little while anyways” he adds with a smile.

“Hey I live in silver city!” you reply happily , silver city was a small town in Michigan closer to the upper peninsula.

“Small world” you added. What are the chances the two of you lived within a few hours of each other and never met until the both of you played a festival in Los Angeles.

You turn your attention to the combination of alcoholic drinks that the bartender set in front of you. Everyone reached for theirs offering quick cheers before taking a drink. The carbonation of the seven up burned against your throat before the alcohol sent the warming sensation through your chest and stomach.

“Ah yum” you said, wincing from the sharpness of the alcohol. Jake laughed as he watched you.

“Not very convincing,” Sam says smiling. You laugh and take another drink. You watch Josh stir his drink lightly with the small straw it came with, he notices you looking.

“Ever had a salty dog before?” he asks, hoping you say no.

You simply shake your head in reply. He slides his drink closer to you.

“We can share if you want, it's really good?” he offers. You look at the pink drink in front of you.

“What's in it?” you ask.

“It's just gin and grapefruit juice with a little salt around the rim,” he says.

“Oh god that sounds horrible” you laugh.

“It's actually not that bad” Danny pipes up with a shrug.

“He made me try it a few weeks ago,” he adds.

“Alright I'll take your word for it” you smile at Danny. You look back down at the drink.

“I promise I didn't spike it” Josh chimes. You laugh loudly, why would he even say that?

“That's exactly what someone who spiked my drink would say”

“But I guess I trust you guys” you add before taking a healthy sip of the beverage.

“Hmm that's not bad!” conclude, it was much sweeter than you thought it would be, it kind of reminded you of orange juice and vodka. Josh nods with an I told you so sort of look on his face.

“Here, try mine,” Sam says next, handing you his glass.

“Alright you try mine too” you reply with a smile. Sam's slender fingers brush against yours as he grabs the drink from you , your eyes look to his and he winks.

Oh god, I can't be attracted to two of them. Honestly, who were you kidding? You were insanely attracted to all of them, how were they ALL so cute and gorgeous? Not fair to the rest of man-kind.

“Wow this one is super good!” you remark going in for another drink of the long island iced tea.

“Yeah can you believe there's like 8 different alcohols in there? No tea at all” he laughs, you laughed with him. His laugh was sweet and light, like orange sparkling shards of glass dancing through the air. The five of you began talking about life and learning a lot about each other, ordering more drinks along the way. You could tell the mix of drinks was beginning to take effect on you, you felt warm and relaxed. You were standing next to Danny now, he towered over you, this man was truly a beast.the smell of his cologne wrapped around you. It was oaky and mossy with a hint of citrus, you couldn't help but feel an electrifying pull of attraction to him.

For fucks sake, you curse yourself.

A few games of pool (which, it turns out Jake is like a God at pool) later you all found yourselves back at the bar carrying on more conversation, albeit more slurred now. It was much easier to open up to people when alcohol was involved. You rolled the sleeves of josh's jacked up, exposing your arms as the alcohol was making you extremely warm.

“What happened to you?” the bartender asks loudly. You and the guys all look at him with hints of confusion.

“I got the worst concoction of my parents DNA possible” you joke , the boys laugh. Jake nudges your shoulder.

“Shut up you're gorgeous” he says softly. You give him a quick smile.

“No. Your arm. What happened to your arm.” the bartender says again, nodding to your scars. You hated when people asked that question, like they didn't know why you had those scars on your wrists. Very few things leave scars like that on skin. You looked around at the guys, josh looked pissed and the others looked saddened as this was the first time they had seen your scars, and they knew damn well what it was from, they weren’t as stupid as this bartender. The air of the bar had shifted, the mood went from fun loving to hostile very quickly. Fuck this guy.

“I got in a fight with a weed wacker” you retort sarcastically. The man rolls his eyes.

“What happened? Did your little boyfriend break up with you? Flunk a class? Your puppy ran away?” he was mocking you. You said nothing in return.

“You're just another one of those emotionally confused little girls, no reason to hate her life.” he continues. For some reason he was trying to upset you , and you had no idea why, you'd been nothing but pleasant to the man since the moment you entered the bar.

“First of all i'm not a girl, I'm a woman. Who pissed in your Wheaties this morning man? You're mad because you got all D’s in high school and now you're stuck serving losers like us in this shit hole, pretentious, sorry excuse of a bar? Go fuck yourself. I don’t hate my life.” you answer , anger pooling in your throat.

“Hey man. Lay off.” Danny says with a look of warning.

“Of course you don't hate your life” the man says ignoring Danny completely.

“You just do it for attention, think if you slice yourself up maybe someone will feel bad for you huh? I've seen your kind before girl.” he speaks again. OK now this idiot was pissing you off. You never did it for attention, attention was the last thing you wanted, especially when it came to your scars, you wished you could erase them.

“Look, I've got three things to say to you,” you reply with an irritated sigh. You stood up from your stool and stepped closer to the man.

“One” you say, holding up your pointer finger giving the illusion that you were going to list reasons of argument to him. Instead you ball your hand into a fist and punch the guy right in his fucking jaw with all your drunken might. To your surprise (and no doubt everyone else's) the bartender fell to the floor, you knocked him out.. Everyone was wide eyed and silent

“Lets get outta here” Josh says, breaking the glistening silence in the bar, noticing everyone looking at the five of you. Jake grabbed a bottle of Jack before all of you ran out of the door. None of you could suppress your laughs as you took off down the street. Out of breath you all keeled over in a field of grass a few feet from the tour buses in a fit of laughter. You sat down on the wet grass and looked up at the clouds. Danny sat on your left and Sammy was on your right, Josh and Jake sat in front of you and you all formed a small little circle.

“That felt good” you say softly, referring to punching that shit head of a bartender. Sam laughed.

“Yeah that was awesome, I can't believe you knocked him out” Jake chuckled, shaking his head in disbelief. The air went silent again as you all sat with your own thoughts. Your face slowly lost emotion as thoughts of what the man said swirled around your mind. You tried not to let what people said to you about your scars get to you too much but it was hard sometimes. Danny noticed your expression and you felt his hand draw soft circles on your back.

“That guy was an idiot. He was just being an asshole” Josh said softly, you nodded, knowing he was right. Maybe it was the alcohol or maybe you were just really that sad but a tear fell down your face and your voice cracked as you spoke.

“I just feel so alone sometimes” you wiped the tears away as quickly as they fell. You could feel all of them watching you with sympathetic eyes.

“Everyone's got their vice (y/n)” Danny said quietly, his hand still grazing your back.

Josh rolls his shirt sleeve up and reveals dozens of little horizontal scars covering his shoulder. He grabs your hand and you look up at him to meet his gaze. He stroked your hand with his thumb and gave you a comforting, gentle look.

“You're not alone”

#greta van fleet #gvf #jake kiszka #josh kiszka #danny wagner #gretavanfleet #sam kiskza #gvf imagine #gvf fanfic #smut #josh kiszka smut #danny wagner smut #jake kiszka smut #sam kiszka smut #imagine

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imaginedilestrade · 6 years

Text

Surreal but nice- Part two

Warnings: Swearing, some angst.

Part one

A few months (and bad blind dates) later, Greg found himself standing over you in the middle of his living room. You were teary eyed after a recent scandal involving you was reported in every newspaper and magazine in the world. You didn't know where to go. So you went to Greg.

"Here is okay," Greg assured "Would you like anything? Some tea? A bath?"

"A bath would be nice." You wiped away the tears under your eyes and Greg drew a bath for you. You had just sunk into it and had began to let your worries dissolve in the water when the door opened. It was Jim with his back to you. "You must be Jim..." he slowly spun around on the spot and blinked with shock. He then proceeded to slide out the bathroom before peering his head back in again.

"Just checking..." he assured himself.

After your bath you spent some time with Greg, explaining what had been happening, that you dumped your boyfriend and that you were working on a new movie. Greg helped you with your script. Later that evening Greg offered you his bed, he decided to sleep on the sofa bed. You kissed his cheek and bid him goodnight. Greg was tossing and turning the whole night.

His breath hitched when he heard the floorboard squeak "Hello?" He called out, his heart hoping it would be you. But he was bitterly disappointed "Jim?"

"So uh I see that there is a certain celebrity upstairs in your bed..." He raised a brow.

"Yes? And?" Greg groggily uttered.

"Well, are you two..." he ferociously wiggled his eyebrows until Greg caught on.

"What?! No!"

Jim smirked slightly "Well do you think I can-"

"No!" Greg almost yelled "No! She's worried and vulnerable so just leave her alone and get back to sleep!" Jim sighed and toddled back up the stairs. Seconds later, Greg heard the same squeaking noise "Will you sod off!"

"Oh...okay."

Greg sat up straight upon hearing your voice, "No, no, no! I thought you were Jim!" He stood up and slowly walked over to you, taking in every inch of you. He noticed you were wearing one of his shirts, it reached to the middle of your thighs. It looked like your legs went on forever. Neither of you broke the silence that hung over the room. Greg gently placed a hand on the back of your neck and pressed a sweet kiss to your lips before letting his own wander down the side of your neck. He could hear you forcing a steady breath as his hands brushed down your bare back. He moved the shirt down, exposing your skin to the cool air as he continued to kiss you.

"Wow..." he whispered as he pulled away.

You softly smiled "What?"

Greg shook his head, he couldn't believe that this was his reality "Nothing..." he sweetly kissed you again and felt your hand lace with his, you squeezed it ever so slightly. He took the hint.

---

You lazily woke up the next morning with Greg. You both drew patterns over each other skin as you talked, you were at the bottom of the bed and Greg was at the top, raking his fingers over your calves. That's when an idea popped into your head "I'll be right back!" You grinned and jumped out of the cozy bed, grabbing Greg's shirt you were wearing last night before his trembling fingers slowly undid every button.

That thought sent a chill down your spine and brought a smile to your face.

Ten minutes later, you brought Greg a tray with toast and tea "What's this?" He asked.

"Breakfast in bed!" You smiled and grabbed a slice of toast "Can I stay a little longer?"

Greg reached for your hand and gently swiped his thumb across your knuckles "You can stay forever."

You grinned and took a bite out of your slice of toast "Oh I forgot the jam!" You stood back up just as the doorbell rang. You looked down at Greg "I'll get the jam, you get the door."

Greg pulled on a top and went to answer the door. When he did he was met with camera flashes, microphones being shoved in his face and shouting reporters. He slammed the door shut behind him.

"Who was it?"

Greg looked up to you and gulped "No one!" You rolled your eyes and walked passed him, opening the door again before slamming it shut. Your eyes met Greg's before you rushed to the phone and called your agent.

"Yes, they found me. I have to go, I have to get out of here." You placed the phone back down and rushed up the stairs, Greg quickly following you into the bedroom where you were quickly changing "This is all I need!" You huffed "And you, you stepped out there in pretty much nothing. The press are going to have a field day with this! Thanks to your friend everyone will know that Y/N Y/L/N is sleeping with the man behind the blue door in Notting Hill!"

"You've got to calm down..." Greg tried easing you but it only made you worse.

"Calm down?! Calm down! Do not tell me to calm down!" You went back down the stairs again, Jim checked out the window and announced your agent and chauffeur was at the door.

"Can't you just brush it off? Today's paper will be in tomorrow's bin!" Greg shrugged and smiled. He didn't understand the severity of the situation.

"What?" You couldn't believe how absurd he was being "No Greg I can't just brush it off! These stories stay with me forever! Every time they write something about me all this," you gestured at him "Will be mentioned and I will always regret it!"

A beat passed "I won't..." Greg quietly admitted.

You shook your head and let out a sigh "You don't understand my perspective Greg. I've been in this business for ten years whereas you've been in it ten minutes." The doorbell rang and you put on your sunglasses and braced yourself for what was waiting outside.

That was the last Greg had seen you for months. Honey, being the adoring little sister, did all that she could to give Greg the phone number of your agent in London and New York. It felt like he had looked at the piece of paper she had wrote it down on for hours when he finally dropped it in the bin.

A few days later whilst having dinner, John handed Greg a newspaper. An article was on it saying that you were in London filming. The next day, Greg found himself at the location where the film was being shot. "I'm looking for Y/N Y/L/N," Greg told the guard "She's not expecting me but-"

The guard cut him off "Then I can't let you in, sorry."

"It's alright..." Greg recognised that voice that was sweeter than a bag of sugar and the smell of all the rose petals in the world combined. "I can't chat, we're very busy shooting. But if you want to stay to talk after, and I really think we have to talk...then you're welcome to stay."

Greg nodded his head a little "Alright."

"Good," you briefly smiled "Have some tea! There's lots of it."

Your agent lead Greg through to the location where it was being filmed and handed Greg over a set of headphones so he could listen to the dialogue.

"Who was that man you were with earlier?" Your co-star asked.

You shrugged a shoulder "No one really," Greg furrowed a brow "It's a bit awkward really. Something happens a few months ago. I don't know why he's here..."

Greg felt a bubble of disappointment burst in his chest. He removed the headphones and left the set with hurt and sadness eating away at him. You glanced over your shoulder and noticed that he was gone. But you knew where to find him.

---

"There's a delivery for you!" Sherlock peered his head in Greg's office.

"Can't you deal with it?" Greg sighed as he checked over some paperwork.

"I really think this delivery is for you..."

Greg knew there was no arguing with Sherlock so went out to the front of the shop. He went wide eyed seeing you standing in front of him.

"Hi," you greeted "You disappeared..."

"Yeah well you seemed quite busy so I thought I better leave. I had some things to to anyway..."

You nodded understandingly "Well we finished filming yesterday so I just came by to tell you that...that I'm leaving."

Greg shuffled on the spot "R-right, right..."

"I have have to go away today," you feel your throat closing up and your eyes welling up "I was wondering if I didn't have to leave, if I stayed, if you'd let me see you a little..or a lot. That if you could like me again..."

Greg placed his hands on his hips "But yesterday you told that man on set that I was no one to you," your face flushed with confusion "I heard. I had headphones on and I could hear everything you were saying into your microphone."

"And you expect me to tell the most loose-lipped actor in England my life story?" You forced a broken chuckle.

"Y/N, I'm just a regular bloke who has always been in and out of love, but can I just..." Greg paused for a second, wondering if he was doing the right thing or not. His head and his heart battling it out inside him. "Can I say no to your request?"

You blinked and smiled, even if it was strained "Yes," you hoped he didn't hear your heart crack right down the centre "Of course."

"The thing is, Y/N," you could barely look at Greg as he spoke "I don't think my heart or myself could take it, you know being cast aside, which I probably would be. You live in Beverly Hills, I live in Notting Hill. My mother and work colleague barely remember my name, everyone in the world knows yours."

You nodded and your gaze fell to your feet "I know, I know...but also don't forget," you looked up to him, ignoring your throat closing in on itself and your chest concaving "I'm just a girl, standing in front of a boy," your words were tight and quiet but you managed to get them out "Asking him to love her."

Greg couldn't say a thing. He was so taken aback by your words. They were true. You leaned forward and pecked his cheek, bidding him goodbye while he stood there in complete and utter surprise.

Greg turned to his family and friends, they were always good and helping him through tricky situations and this one was the most difficult yet. They all supported his decision to turn you down, all except Jim who called Greg a 'stupid prick'. Greg then realised that Jim had a point.

Deep down Greg truly loved you and he knew that you might feel those feelings back. It then hit him that he had made the wrong decision. He wanted you. He wanted to make you laugh. He wanted to make you smile. He wanted to be there for you when you were sad. He wanted to hold you against his chest every night and look up to the ceiling as you slept to thank whoever was listening for the moment he was sharing with you. He wanted you.

And you wanted him.

---

Upon arriving at the Ritz with all his friends and Honey, you had already checked out but the receptionist informed Greg that you were holding a press conference in the Savoy.

Greg squeezed his way through the crowd of press and photographers until he finally caught a glimpse of you. He noticed that you were staring at a spot on the table whilst your agents answered most things for you. "Last time you were here, you were photographed with a young man, who is he?"

"Uh," you cleared your throat and answered the reporters question "He's a friend, he's still my friend...I think..."

"You over there," your agent pointed to Greg who's arm was sticking out.

"Yes, umm, Miss Y/L/N..." you snapped your head up and found a par of brown eyes in the crowd. A very familiar pair of brow eyes. It was surreal seeing Greg in front of you "Is there any circumstances in which this friend of yours could be more than just a friend...?"

You noticed the twinkle of hope in his eyes "I don't know," you replied "They made it quite clear that they didn't want anything more than just friendship."

"But what if-" Your agent cut Greg off but you insisted that he continued, you were almost falling off your chair with anticipation "But what if this man, Mr Lestrade, realised that he was being a daft prick?" The hall erupted with uttering reporters, some laughing at his remark. You tried your best not to smile too much and retain your collected composure "Would you then reconsider?"

The hall went silent, all eyes were on you but al your eyes were on was Greg "Yes, I believe I would..." you smiled and noticed Greg out let out a sigh of relief.

"That's good! The readers of 'Horse and Hound' will be delighted!" The crowd chuckled and you couldn't help but laugh.

"Y/N, how long to you intend to stay in London?" Another reporter asked.

You kept your eyes locked on Greg, the man who had captivated your heart, as you replied.

"Indefinitely."

------------------

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restoringsanity · 7 years

Note

Hello, my url is saltbearthekitten (I am a sideblog). I'm trying to pile together some psychological studies (links to, more like, but you get the drift) that can support our arguments. For ex: I've seen antis excusing their abusive behavior by claiming that they were abused, like being abused cannot in the end turn out an abuser. I want to help provide evidence to dispute these claims. Do you have any good readings you would recommend? Your blog is very refreshing and I binge read your posts.

I will make an effort to find an answer to the question “Can victims of abuse become abusers?”. It’s a 2226-words-long effort, so I’m putting it under a ‘read more’.

tl;dr: yeah, sure - but anyone can become an abuser or someone displaying abusive/manipulative behavior; there are people more likely to do so; meanwhile children/adolescents who have suffered child abuse or have been exposed to domestic violence are considerably more likely to display internalized/externalized behavioral issues - such as depression, anxiety, trauma, aggression, manipulative behavior.

“The Line between Victims and Abusers“ by Steven Stosny makes for insightful reading, but it’s a little dated (2009), and I don’t entirely agree with some of the patronizing wording. It still draws an interesting line between victims and abusers, and points out how victims can become abusive in their behavior.

“The victim protection movement began as a noble attempt to counteract the most insidious aspect of the abusive dynamic - blaming the victim, which has the effect of making the victim feel ashamed of being abused. But as is the case with all effective social movements, the pendulum has swung too far the other way. We now have a victim identity movement, fueled by an industry of self-help authors and advocates, that has conferred a certain status to being a victim and thereby blurred the line between victims and abusers.”

Note: This article is a think piece. Very strictly speaking, it doesn’t count as scientific data. The author seems quite proficient in his field though, hence why I’d argue it’s still representative of the subject.

I’m noticing there’s also a bit of a problem with the question you’re asking. When you ask “Can a victim of abuse become an abuser?”, the only possible answer to that is ‘yes’, because the subject of abuse isn’t strictly a matter of personal history. It’s also a matter of likelihood, plausibility and circumstance, as well as mental health, among other factors. It is entirely possible for a victim to become an abuser, for them to develop abusive mannerism and behavior, and for their ‘status’ as a victim to manifest itself in abusive coping mechanisms and/or mannerism and behavior that is similar to abusive mannerisms and behavior, but not the same. The question should rather be “Can anyone become an abuser?”, to which the answer is also ‘yes’. There are stages and degrees of abuse, and it’s not always equally severe, or even noticeable. Another question worth asking would be “What is abuse?” or “What is abusive behavior?”.

“Abusive power and control” (wikipedia article) gives a general overview in regards to how abusers gain and maintain control.

Here’s a very small excerpt,

Braiker identified the following ways that manipulators control their victims:[3]

- Positive reinforcement: includes praise, superficial charm, superficial sympathy (crocodile tears), excessive apologizing, money, approval, gifts, attention, facial expressions such as a forced laugh or smile, and public recognition.

- Negative reinforcement: involves removing one from a negative situation as a reward, e.g. "You won't have to do your homework if you allow me to do this to you."

- Intermittent or partial reinforcement: Partial or intermittent negative reinforcement can create an effective climate of fear and doubt. Partial or intermittent positive reinforcement can encourage the victim to persist.

- Punishment: includes nagging, yelling, the silent treatment, intimidation, threats, swearing, emotional blackmail, the guilt trip, sulking, crying, and playing the victim.

- Traumatic one-trial learning: using verbal abuse, explosive anger, or other intimidating behavior to establish dominance or superiority; even one incident of such behavior can condition or train victims to avoid upsetting, confronting or contradicting the manipulator.

Manipulators may have:[3]

- a strong need to attain feelings of power and superiority in relationships with others

- a want and need to feel in control

- a desire to gain a feeling of power over others in order to raise their perception of self-esteem.

Personality psychology also appears to play a considerable role,

In the study of personality psychology, certain personality disorders display characteristics involving the need to gain compliance or control over others:[10]

Those with antisocial personality disorder tend to display a glibness and grandiose sense of self-worth. Due to their shallow affect and lack of remorse or empathy, they are well suited to con and/or manipulate others into complying with their wishes.

Those with histrionic personality disorder need to be the center of attention; and in turn, draw people in so they may use (and eventually dispose of) their relationship.

Those with narcissistic personality disorder have an inflated self-importance, hypersensitivity to criticism and a sense of entitlement that compels them to persuade others to comply with their requests.

To maintain their self-esteem, and protect their vulnerable true selves, narcissists need to control others' behavior – particularly that of their children seen as extensions of themselves.[11]

Once more, the goal should rather be to identify abusive behavior. It’s not to find an absolute answer to the question “Who can or can’t be an abuser?”.

If you were to ask the question “Does a number of antis display abusive behavior?” my answer would be - yes, absolutely yes, holy fuck do they ever, yes. Not to mention that the ‘antis’ displaying said behavior then proceed to victim-blame/shame, seeing as how ‘antis’ firmly believe that their victims absolutely deserve being abused.

I could easily write an entire post about that alone, and I probably should.

Another aspect of the ‘Can victims become abusers?’ question would be the

“Abuse Defense” (wikipedia article), which describes the following,

The abuse defense is a criminal law defense in which the defendant argues that a prior history of abuse justifies violent retaliation. While the term most often refers to instances of child abuse or sexual assault, it also refers more generally to any attempt by the defense to use a syndrome or societal condition to deflect responsibility away from the defendant. Sometimes the concept is referred to as the abuse excuse, in particular by the critics of the idea that guilty people may use past victimization to diminish the responsibility for their crimes.[1]

When the abuser is the victim of the crime, as is often the case, the abuse excuse is sometimes used as a way to "put the victim on trial".

The Supreme Court of the United States has held on numerous occasions that the defendant should be permitted to present any information that they feel might affect sentencing. Despite this legal precedent, the availability of the abuse defense has been criticized by several legal experts, particularly in the aftermath of the trials of Lorena Bobbitt and the Menendez brothers. Legal scholar Alan Dershowitz has described the abuse excuse as a "lawless invitation to vigilantism".

Interestingly enough, this law is meant to take the dynamic between the abuser and the victim into consideration (and even then it’s highly contended). It does not refer to victims of abuse lashing out against people that were not implicit in their abuse.

“Behavioural consequences of child abuse” is a fairly recent (2013) research study, which describes how any type of abuse can affect children and adolescents in how they express themselves (- arguably, when left untreated, those behavioral issues might be carried over into adulthood).A small excerpt:

Effects of violence and neglect on attachment and brain development

A strong and secure attachment bond with a primary caregiver is the core of developing resilience and a healthy personality.7,8 It strengthens a child’s ability to cope with stress, regulates emotions, provides social support, and forms nurturing relationships.9 The world is experienced as a safe place in which to explore and develop independence. The child finds comfort and support from his or her caregiver when under stress. When children are abused, they might display disturbed forms of attachment and abnormal patterns of emotional response toward their caregivers. This might subsequently lead to a serious attachment disorder with symptoms such as those shown in Box 1.5–8

Box 1.Symptoms of attachment disorderThe following are symptoms of attachment disorder.

- An aversion to touch and physical affection: The child might flinch, laugh, or even say “ouch” when touched; rather than producing positive feelings, touch and affection are perceived as threats

- Control issues: The child might go to great lengths to prevent feeling helpless and remain in control; such children are often disobedient, defiant, and argumentative

- Anger problems: Anger might be expressed directly, in tantrums or acting out, or through manipulative, passive-aggressive behavior; the child might hide his or her anger in socially acceptable actions, like giving a high-5 that hurts or hugging someone too hard

- Difficulty showing genuine care and affection: The child might act inappropriately affectionate with strangers while displaying little or no affection toward his or her parents

- An underdeveloped conscience: The child might act like he or she does not have a conscience and might fail to show guilt, regret, or remorse after behaving badly

Finally, “The Effects of Child Abuse and Exposure to Domestic Violence on Adolescent Internalizing and Externalizing Behavior Problems”is another fairly recent (2010) study based on the “Lehigh Longitudinal Study”, ‘a prospective study of children and families begun in the 1970s to examine developmental consequences of child maltreatment’.

Abstract

“Results show that child abuse, domestic violence, and both in combination (i.e., dual exposure) increase a child’s risk for internalizing and externalizing outcomes in adolescence. When accounting for risk factors associated with additional stressors in the family and surrounding environment, only those children with dual exposure had an elevated risk of the tested outcomes compared to non-exposed youth. However, while there were some observable differences in the prediction of outcomes for children with dual exposure compared to those with single exposure (i.e., abuse only or exposure to domestic violence only), these difference were not statistically significant. Analyses showed that the effects of exposure for boys and girls are statistically comparable.”

Objectives and Rationale“In summary, the current study examines several outcomes in adolescence with known links to child adversity -- a range of internalizing and externalizing behaviors, depression, and delinquency. We hypothesize that: (1) violence exposure will increase a child’s risk for these outcomes, and (2) youth exposed to both child abuse and domestic violence will show an elevated risk for these outcomes over either type of abuse alone. Finally, we explore the role of gender as a possible moderator of childhood exposure on later outcomes in adolescence. The gender-balanced sample and longitudinal design of the current study allow tests of developmental relationships that are not possible in studies with cross-sectional data or in studies with only one gender.”

Relation between Child Abuse and Adverse Psychosocial Outcomes

“Numerous studies have demonstrated that experiencing child abuse can lead to a range of internalizing and externalizing behavior problems. For example, research has shown that abused children can exhibit a variety of psychological problems, including anxiety and depression (McLeer, Callaghan, Henry, & Wallen, 1994; McLeer et al., 1998). The effects of being abused persist into adolescence; teens who were abused as children are more likely to experience depression and other internalizing problems (Fergusson, Horwood, & Lynskey, 1996; Widom, 2000; Wolfe, 1999; Wolfe, Scott, Wekerle, & Pittman, 2001). Teens who were abused as children are also more likely to exhibit externalizing behavior problems, such as delinquency and violence perpetration (Fergusson et al., 1996; Fergusson & Lynskey, 1997; Hawkins et al., 1998; R. Herrenkohl, Egolf, & E. Herrenkohl, 1997; McCabe, Lucchini, Hough, Yeh, & Hazen, 2005; Smith & Thornberry, 1995; Widom, 2000; Wolfe, 1999).”

Relation Between Domestic Violence Exposure and Adverse Psychosocial Outcomes

“Exposure to domestic violence in childhood has been linked to a similar set of outcomes, including low self-esteem, social withdrawal, depression, and anxiety (Edleson, 1999; Fantuzzo, Boruch, Beriama, Atkins, & Marcus, 1997; Graham Bermann, 1998; Hughes, 1988; Lichter & McCloskey, 2004; Litrownik, Newton, Hunter, English, & Everson, 2003; McCloskey, Figueredo, & Koss, 1995; McCloskey & Lichter, 2003; Moffitt & Caspi, 2003; Sudermann & Jaffe, 1997); and aggression, violence, and delinquency (Herrera & McCloskey, 2001; Lichter & McCloskey, 2004; Litrownik et al., 2003; McCloskey & Lichter, 2003; Sudermann & Jaffe, 1997). In a recent meta-analysis of studies that examined the relationship between domestic violence exposure in childhood and adolescent internalizing and externalizing behaviors, Evans, Davies, and DiLillo (2008) found significant mean-weighted effect sizes of .48 (SE=.04) for internalizing behaviors and .47 (SE=.05) for externalizing behaviors, indicating moderate associations between exposure and both outcomes.”

Discussion“As hypothesized, children exposed to violence (either child abuse, domestic violence, or both) had higher levels of externalizing and internalizing behavior problems in adolescence than those exposed to neither form of violence. Youths who had both witnessed domestic violence and had been direct victims of child abuse (i.e., dual exposure) were more consistently at risk for the entire range of internalizing and externalizing behavior problems investigated than those who experienced only one form of violence exposure. In fact, dual violence exposure was predictive of higher scores on all nine outcomes addressed in this study, while experiencing child abuse alone or domestic violence alone was significantly predictive of only some of the outcomes. A direct comparison of dual and single exposures found that for two outcomes-- delinquency and depression measured by the BDI—scores were higher for those with both abuse and domestic violence exposure. The effect of dual exposure on depression was maintained after accounting for other risks in the family and surrounding environment.“

So, essentially, and I’m breaking it down very simplistically here - victims of any type (or many types) of abuse can very likely display characteristically abusive behavior, and they’re even more prone to do so than those who have not suffered any type of abuse (or fewer types of abuse). That is not to say that they are inherently bound to become abusers themselves, but they are highly prone to aggressive behavior, as well as abusive/manipulative behavior.

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