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thesirenisles · 10 days

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Pluto’s Sirens 🦂

beauty, love astrology observations ✨

scorpio sun, scorpio moon, scorpio mars, scorpio ascendant , Scorpio lilith, Black moon lilith

8th house placements including Lilith

Lilith aspects, Pluto Aspects, Venus Opposing Trine Conjunction Square Pluto, Ruled, Dominant

Pluto in the 1st house, Pluto in the 8th house

“She knew death quite well. She often drowned. But, never in fear. The storm waters of love, pain, and sorrow filled her lungs and from their depths, she rose metamorphosed — a captivating phoenix of the sea.”

please do not steal any of my original work.

🦂Child of Pluto,

The stunning dark beauty that disappears intermittently, only to reemerge a brand new person.. having lived another full life to it’s completion.

You have walked the Valley of Death and your essence was fortified by means of eternal hellfire. There’s really no wonder why you’re so intimidatingly hot. 🔥

As a water sign, this is similar to the siren-like energy of Neptune. However, a Neptunian might unwittingly lure suitors to their death, but you, Plutonian Goddess are the siren who wants the kill.

🥀You are the siren they fear.

You are a mistress of the deep, a beacon of light through the annals of life’s taboo topics like sex, death, occultism, and mystery.

When considering Plutonian energy, I imagine the scorpion deep within a fierce ocean of emotions, burrowing deeper and deeper into the sand… searching and feeling…

Deep within these depths is where you thrive. The drowned woman… I say this because Scorpio is a fixed sign, meaning its energy can be stagnant.

So, it is literally fixed water or stuck water. Being stuck underwater can symbolically connote to drowning.

This is also where the big misunderstanding of Scorpio comes from because… a scorpion does not belong underwater?? Yup, you’re an anomaly.

But, hence this is literally why you cannot stay under water for too long. You’re meant to dive deep beneath the surface, transform yourself, others, and your surroundings BUT only for a little while.

If you try to resist and stay submerged, life literally pushes you to transform and resurface for fresh air. By the end of your journey, you come out reborn anew, carrying nothing but the wisdom you’ve gained.

At your core, you are here to transform yourself and others.

With this energy, you are always digging and craving depth wherever you go, whether you realize it or not just like the scorpion. This could be for emotions, the truth, or other extremes.

Your plutonic vibrations sometimes does this for you and easily charm souls into revealing their darkest and deepest desires to you.

Pluto has gifted you with a gaze that certainly helps to compel information, while also commanding authority and exuding power. (It’s giving Vampire Diariesss)

🥀A fierce siren, you wish to take hold of your romantic partners, friends, and families and lead them to the deepest depths of human existence.

But, this is only an attempt to free them from the confinement of the human ego and mundanity.

🦂The Misunderstood

The Scorpio/ 8th house slander is endless. But, I feel it’s just misunderstood. I love Plutonian energy. I find it refreshing, possibly because I have Scorpio 11th house & Scorpio Mars lol.

But, I get them. My longest friendship is with a beautiful Scorpio Sun and I have never had to second guess her loyalty.

She has been through more than anyone would guess, but maintains a heart of pure gold. Her shell is hard to crack though.

This is because you guys have seen the other side of life… death. You are aware most people aren’t living their truths or even knowledgeable of the truths of this Earthly realm… and it infuriates you at times.

It’s not easy being the one who sees a liar in a fake smile or an enemy within a friend. You see people without their masks and you call them out when needed… including family.

This can ruffle many feathers, of course. We all know how truth tellers are deemed in society.

And to some, your intense need to dive deep can terrify them and trigger them because in some way they are not living their authentic truth.

But, it’s meant to!

Pluto in the 1st house natives know this reaction well, as they wear the hellfire mark wherever they go. This triggers those who are not comfortable with darkness or their own shadow self.

Significant Lilith placements can resonate with this energy. Your presence and rebel energy triggers those whose identity is based upon a facade.

A Plutonian is a friend with their shadow self. They have seen the likes of all darkness.

You are the wounded warrior with these placements, (and honestly deserve so much more and so many hugs for what you’ve survived🥹) But, you seldom allow anyone to see you sweat or any weakness.

This need to conceal weakness hides your incredibly, loving heart and loyal spirit.

You can come off a bit brash at times. (Think, Jade from Victorious… Marlo from The Wire.. Matthew McConaughey’s character in True Detective) But, Its hard to empathize with those who seem ungrateful for their less challenging life paths or who refuse to make simple life changes out of fear.

You are like a butterfly. You have lived several lives, experiencing completely new things at each stage of life, but ultimately improving yourself each time.

While painful at times, that’s your superpower. ✨

The ironic part is that people see you in your Butterfly phase, ornate wings and beautiful colors, and assume you have not had it hard.

Until you sting. 🦂🩸

Absolutely incredible and yet so misunderstood.

Believe me when I say, it is such a GIFT to be able to transform in a world where Saturn’s energy reigns supreme.

🥀A piece of advice I leave to you all is… while understanding death.. DON’T forget to LIVE. Take a page out of the book of your sister sign, Taurus or Planet Venus… pamper your soul. 💅🏾

You are allowed and capable of just as much happiness and soft living as any other soul. Do not be afraid to open up and love or allow yourself to be loved.

You ARE loved over here! ❤️🫶🏾

🦂La Petite Mort “Little Death”.

To possess significant scorpio or 8th house placements is to live through many small deaths to be born anew.

Ironically, while Pluto rules sex, the French saying for an orgasm is Le Petite Mort … or “Little Death”.

Perfectly fitting.

With these placements, you can transform yourself and others through your sexual encounters.

🥀Your sex is transformative!

The sexual energy exudes from your pores, thanks to Papa Pluto and those around you can smell the fragrance.

When a suitor spots you, perched upon a rock amidst the chaos of the ocean… they can’t look away.

They don’t know what it is about you, but they are drawn… hooked and captivated by your watery siren gaze.

You call to them on the shore… and they approach only to be grasped and delivered to the bottom of the ocean for an unforgettable awakening.

This is why Scorpios/ Plutonians/ 8th housers rule the sack. There is less inhibition, less hesitation, and your goal is sink your prey… to the depths… and transform them. (This gives me chills to think about… very powerful stuff!)

Both men and women of Pluto have this quality. Even if they aren’t perfectly symmetrical or dreamy, you have to admit they are HOT AF & their raw sexual energy caught your eye and made you wonder if you even possess the endurance to swim in their waters…

Keep transforming the world Plutonians! We need you!

Thank you for reading! Wishing you blessings💋

Neptune Energy Observation is here. ♓️⬅️✨

MERCURY energy observation here. ♍️♊️

Other planets coming soon!

Alton Mason (Scorpio Sun) and Kofi Siriboe (Scorpio Pluto, Moon, Jupiter STELLIUM 😮‍💨)

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mrsriddles-blog · 2 months

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bad idea right? | L.B

Pairing: Slytherin Fem Reader X Lorenzo Berkshire

WC: 6k

Warnings/Notes: Mild language, heartbreak, angst, fluff, smut, alcohol, trust issues…

Summary: After your painful breakup with Lorenzo, it seems that he has regrets and he’s not ready to let you go. But, you’re unsure if he can be trusted once more.

Hey

Haven't heard from you in a couple of months

But I'm out right now, and I'm all fucked up

And you're callin' my phone, you're all alone

And I'm sensin' some undertone

"Come onnnn! You need to let loose and have some fun." Pansy whines.

She had been trying to convince you for about an hour to come on the dance floor and dance with her, but you weren't quite sure how you felt about that. Granted, it had been months since you and Enzo broke up, but you'd be lying if you weren't torn up over it still. You weren't ready to get out there as Pansy put it. She was so desperately trying to get you to move on from Enzo, but you weren't ready for that.

"I don't want to. I just wanted to get out of that stuffy Common Room and I wanted to drink....and Mattheo stopped sharing his stash with me." You say, pouting at the end.

"Boo-hoo, your brother didn't want to support you drowning yourself in your sorrows. At least he cares about you." She says.

"Both of my brothers are being all weird about this. It isn't fair." You grumble.

"You guys have that weird triplet bond. They probably can feel how upset you are." She says, looking mildly disturbed.

You did have a bit of a strange bond with your brothers. You guys were always so close growing up, being able to sense when one was in trouble or if one was in pain or if maybe one was simply not feeling the greatest. It wasn't always the greatest thing because if you found yourself feeling sad, then your brothers were there demanding what was wrong.

"I just wanna have fun!" You whine, feeling that light buzz finally wash over you.

"And you can! On the dance floor, with me." She says.

"Fineeee." You grumble.

You take her hand, begrudgingly getting up as you walk with her to the dance floor. You were awkward, not really wanting to let loose. You tried your best to ignore that feeling of awkwardness as you tried to let loose and enjoy the music. You close your eyes, only to be met with flashes of you and Enzo at a party, dancing so sensually. You open your eyes, Pansy a little bit away as she dances with a random guy.

Your phone starts to buzz in your pocket, so you grab it and answer it, not bothering to glance at the caller ID.

"Y/n/n, love?" Enzo murmurs.

You freeze, unsure of what to do. You hadn't prepared yourself for this yet. You were already heading outside, hoping the cool air would be able to bring you back.

"Love? Are you there?" He asks again.

"Yeah." You say quietly.

"I was wondering if you would come over so we could talk." He says.

You could hear the nervousness in his voice. You could imagine he was pacing around at this very moment, playing with his family ring or running a hand through his hair.

"I...I don't know, Lorenzo." You murmur.

You heard his sharp intake and your own heart hurt. No one called him Lorenzo. But, calling him Enzo felt wrong if you weren't together anymore. Not to mention, you always called him Enz or Zo. He loved when you called him that.

"Enzo...call me Enzo, please...o-or Enz...or Zo...anything, but Lorenzo." He pleads.

Your eyes sting with tears, hating how hurt he sounded, all because you. You knew that despite everything that led to your guys' break-up, that he didn't deserve this. You knew Enzo was a follower, he always was. So, when his best mates joke around about him distancing himself because he spent too much time with you or to say something about your outfit or to joke around about you...it hurts, even if you knew he was a follower.

Maybe he regretted that now. But, even then, it wasn't okay. It hurt you and when you tried to talk to him about it, his friends laughed and he joined them. Granted, you saw that he didn't hang with those people anymore. He strictly hung with your brothers; Tom and Mattheo, and your close friends; Theodore, Blaise, and Draco.

"I...I don't know if I can." You admit quietly, your own voice cracking.

“Can you come to my dorm? Please...I just want to talk, love." He pleads.

"I...I don't know if that's a good idea." You mumble.

It was quiet and your heart was heavy with guilt. You take in a shaky breath, looking around for a moment. You almost thought he hung up when you heard a strangled noise from his side. A tear falls down your cheek, realizing that he was trying not to cry.

"I respect that...I hope you're taking care, love." He murmurs.

You open your mouth to respond, but you heard the line end. You pull the phone away from your ear and frown, another lone tear falling down your cheek.

And I'm right here with all my friends

But you're sendin' me your new address

And I know we're done, I know we're through

But, God, when I look at you

You tried to dance with Pansy, but you found yourself calling it a night early. On your way back to Hogwarts, you found yourself looking at old pictures of you and Enzo, a painful ache in your chest. But, you found yourself in front of Enzo's dorm door, softly knocking. He laid in bed when he heard it, but he wasn't so sure if it was a knock or if someone was walking down the hallway.

You knocked again, a little harder as your heart began to beat violently in your chest. You weren't ready for this in the slightest. But, at the same time...maybe this is what you needed...no, probably not...probably yes...you weren't sure. You just knew you missed Enzo.

My brain goes, "Ah"

Can't hear my thoughts (I cannot hear my thoughts)

Like blah-blah-blah (blah,blah,blah,blah,blah,blah)

Should probably not

I should probably, probably not

The door opens to reveal Enzo. His eyes were puffy as if he'd be crying...you knew he had been. You try to give him a small smile, another way you tried to fight back your own tears, but really it just made a lone tear fall down your cheek. You quickly wipe it away, shuffling your feet awkwardly.

"I...after you called...I couldn't stop thinking...about us...so, I came to talk like...like you asked earlier...o-of course if you still want to. If not, I'll go." You murmur, your nerves getting the best of you.

"I still want to talk, love...I'm just surprised you came...after all...I hurt you. I don't deserve you giving me a chance to talk." He says, his face heating with his own embarrassment.

He moves aside, motioning you in. You step into the familiar dorm where you had spent most of your time. You take a seat on the edge of his bed, looking at him to ignore that he still had all of the pictures of you guys hung up. He sits beside you, leaving not much space between you both.

"Maybe...maybe not...but I feel like there is a lot being left unsaid." You say quietly, playing with the hem of your dress.

"I never should've attempted trying to impress them. If they were my friends, they'd be happy for me...for us. They'd treat you with the respect you deserve." He says.

"I'm glad you know that because it did really hurt me. I really thought we were going to be forever, Enzo." You say, smiling sadly.

"It's not too late for us to pick up the pieces, love. We can still be forever." He says.

Seein' you tonight, it's a bad idea, right?

Seein' you tonight, fuck it, it's fine

You knew things would never be how they were before. You weren't sure if you could ever trust him one hundred percent after everything. You were one who would protect themself with whatever it takes, even if that means keeping people at a distance.

You were trying to find the words to tell him your thoughts, but his lips were on yours, kissing you softly. You were frozen at first, before you were melting into the kiss. You found yourself straddling his lap as his hands found your hips as he slowly leaned back, your guys' lips never breaking apart.

Your hands slide up to his hair, gently pulling at the soft locks. He groans into your mouth, pulling you impossibly closer to him. Your hips roll against him, feeling the growing hardness beneath you. His hand sweeps your hair over your shoulder, unzipping your dress as the other hand held your head in place.

You pull back, your lungs burning for air. You shrug the straps off your shoulders, letting the dress pool around your waist. He groans, his eyes falling on your breasts. He rolls over, your back pressed against the soft bed. He sits up, gently pulling your dress down past your hips and down your legs.

"N-No panties either, love? This dress is so short, I might have to go beat up any guys that stared too long." He grumbles.

Your cheeks flush red, but nonetheless you roll over, crawling to the middle of his bed. You heard his pants unbuckle and you lay back, your heart beating against your chest like a drum.

Yes, I know he's my ex, but can't two people reconnect?

"I only see him as a friend," the biggest lie I ever said

Oh, yes, I know that he's my ex, but can't two people reconnect?

I only see him as a friend, I just tripped and fell into his bed

"You are so beautiful, love." He murmurs, hovering above you, having had finally stripped from his clothes.

"And you're handsome, Enz." You whisper, looking into those brown eyes that were soft and warm, eyes that lured you in.

You moan softly as he sinks into you. The familiar hardness of him sinking inside of you, bit by bit, was tremendously overwhelming. You body still fit with his like a puzzle, yet you always struggled with the thickness of him. It was like your body refused to get use to his cock, but the familiar stretch and sting was pleasurable to you.

You finally felt as if you were at home. He sinks the rest of the way into you, leaning forward and pressing his forehead against yours. Your breaths mingled as you both tried to recover from a sensation you both missed. Being this close was something you both didn't see happening again after the breakup. And the both of you feared that this would still be the last time.

He slowly moves his hips, lifting his head and watching your face for any sign of discomfort. Your eyes were closed, but he desperately wanted to see y/e/c, his favorite. Your lips part as he picks up the pace, a soft moan leaving you.

"Open your eyes, love." He murmurs.

And you did.

Teary eyed as you looked up at him, unsure of what this meant for you both. His hips stutter as his own eyes gloss over. He leans down, kissing you softly as he tried to reassure you that it was okay, they everything would work out.

You hold him closer, afraid that if you let him go that you'd wake up and that this was a dream. You let him make love to you, something he made evidently clear and that this just wasn't sex or a fuck to him.

You went from being underneath him, to him behind you as you buried your face in his sheets, to being on top of him as your rolled your hips and watching him fall to pieces, to his head between your thighs, only for you to suck him off and you found yourself sitting on his face as his tongue did what it usually did when you guys were together.

All the while you sat on his face, rolling your hips and grinding against his face as you held onto the headboard, his hands holding onto to your hips, tears fell down your cheeks as his tongue traced out "I love you" over and over. He did it often when you guys were dating, trying to express how much he loved you.

You let him hold you closer after, your guys' bodies spent as you laid in silence. Your head was rested on his chest, listening to his rhythmic heartbeat. He had an arm wrapped around you, tracing a heart over and over on your hip, your legs entangled with his as his other hand ran through your hair. You had a hand rested on his abdomen, just wanting to be closer to him as your eyes began to close.

Now I'm gettin' in the car, wreckin' all my plans

I know I should stop—, but I can't

And I told my friends I was asleep

But I never said where or in whose sheets

You quietly slid your dress back on, trying not to wake Enzo and to beat everyone before they woke up. You rather do your walk of shame from his dorm in peace. You weren't so sure of where things stood between you and Enzo. You look back to see that he was stirring in his sleep, a hand reaching out to search for you in the empty side of his bed. Your heart ached and you were torn on climbing back into his bed or to leave.

"Stay, a little longer." He murmurs, almost as if he could hear your thoughts.

"This dress is uncomfortable and I'm not sure if being naked again in the best idea right now." You mumble, looking at the heels you held in hand.

"You can wear one of my shirts if you want. I think you still have some clothes in the drawer we put together for you. Although I doubt the shorts fit anymore." He mumbles.

"What?" You whisper confused.

"Not a bad thing, love. You've been working out a lot from what I've seen and then Pans told me. Your bum has gotten bigger. You can wear a pair of my boxers if you want." He murmurs, eyes still closed.

You were standing there, unsure of what to do. You look at the time and know you should leave because people will be waking up soon.

"Enz, people are going to be waking up soon. I should go." You whisper.

"Just a few minutes and then you can go. But, can we please talk soon? If not now, can we find a time?" He asks as you crawl back into his bed and curl up beside him.

"Look what talking led to last night, Enz." You whisper.

"Do you regret it?" He asks quietly, but you could hear the fear in his voice.

"No, I don't regret it, Enz. But, I just...I'm so confused and I'm unsure of what I should do." You admit.

"I know, I know you are, love...but please give us a chance to talk. We can go out for coffee if you'd like? That little shop we use to go to." He says.

"Okay...just text me the details you have in mind. I should go. I need to get showered." You murmur, sitting up some to look at his face.

He opens his eyes, watching you for a minute. He brushes a strand of hair behind your ear, his other hands cupping your cheek as his thumb ghosts over your bottom lip.

"If you don't go now, I'll probably end up kissing you and who knows where that will lead." He whispers.

"Go back to sleep, Enz. You look tired." You murmur, kissing his cheek before getting up.

You get to your dorm, letting a breath you didn't know you were holding out. You hurry to your en-suite bathroom, quickly getting in the shower. When you got out, you dressed in a white deep v-neck crop top. You pull on black leggings and a pair of converse. If you could take your last day of the weekend to be in comfy clothes before a torturous week of the formal wear, you'll take it. You dry your hair, but don't have the patience to style it. You put it up in a messy bun before applying mascara and lip gloss.

You meet up with Pansy who was regretting her choices of drinking so much. You guys stop at the bathroom because she felt like throwing up. You waited until she was done and she looked at you funny.

"I thought you went back to your dorm last night? Did you bring someone back? You've got a hickey." She says.

You go to the mirror and curse when you see a hickey poking out from the collar. You remembered that you'll curse Enzo later before turning back to Pansy, shrugging with a smile.

"I met someone on my way out. Nice guy." You murmur.

"Mhm...right." She murmurs, not believing you.

You see that Enzo was sitting with your brothers and your guys' shared friends. Pansy tugs at your hand.

"Can we please sit with them today? I know things are rough between you and Enzo, but I really miss all of them." She mumbles.

"Yeah, of course. Enzo and I talked a bit last night. He called me while we were dancing. We are both mature people and we can definitely be friends after everything." You say.

It wasn't a total lie, but you also felt like this was convincing you to be more comfortable with him and the possibility of either being friends or a couple again. You take a seat at the table, surprising the boys before Theodore hugs your tight, leaving a big wet kiss on your forehead.

"Ewww, Theo!" You whine, wiping your head on his shirt.

"I've missed having you around, baby Riddle." He admits.

"You've got to stop calling her that." Pansy laughs.

"She loves it, don't you?" He says.

"I love you." You say, grimacing and he laughs, pulling you into a hug.

"I'll start calling you, bella ragazza." He says, and your lips part at his Italian accent being so thick which only seems to show with him speaking his first language.

"What's it mean?" You ask curiously.

"Pretty girl." He says, smirking.

Enzo's hand tightens around his fork before tensing as a foot plops on his lap. He relaxes when he sees your familiar converse.

"No dating you two." Tom grumbles.

"Ew, no. She's like a sister to me. But, she hates being called princess, flower, rose, baby riddle, cutie, sunshine, and hun. So, it's pretty girl, but in Italian. It sounds cuter." He says.

"I'll try not to be offended that you said we about dating me." You pout.

"Oh, you know I love you, but I grew up with you and you were always like that annoying little sister I didn't realize I wanted. Hey! I was kidding, no need to get violent. Sure, you're pretty and all, but you're not feisty enough for me. Nor, as badass as I prefer." He says.

"She is literally the feistiest person ever. And she's scarier than Tom...and our dad. You just have to push the right buttons." Mattheo deadpans.

"Hey! Making me grumpy like that makes me feel icky for days! No making me grumpy or you'll all suffer the merciless wrath and you'll understand why our dad fears me. There is a reason our mother is nameless." You say, grinning.

"You are the freaking devil." Mattheo grumbles.

You glare at him, making the guys laugh. You pout and Enzo smile slightly at you. Things were starting to feel normal now and it felt nice to be surrounded by your friends and your brothers.

An owl swoops in, dropping a bouquet of flowers in front of you. Your lips part in surprise and your eyes widen briefly before you reach out and grab ahold of the bouquet. You could feel the eyes of your friends on you, the nervousness rising as their gazes flicker from you to Enzo. Enzo's face had flushed red from anger, his eyes darker than normal, his lips in a thin line and his fork was severely bent.

You slide the letter out and carefully open it. You flick open the letter, seeing it was from Tevon Long. He was a Ravenclaw, a year ahead of you. He was asking you out to Hogsmeade because he thought you were pretty.

"Who is it from?" Mattheo asks.

"Tevon Long." You mumble, tucking the note back in the envelope.

"What's he want?" He asks, popping his knuckles.

"Mattheo, you aren't hurting him. He hasn't even done anything. He just want to go out to Hogsmeade. But, I'll just tell him in not interested. See, simple? Sometimes conversations are better than fighting." You say, quirking an eyebrow at him.

"Tevon has a bad temper. It's probably best to take one of us guys when you decide to tell him you're not interested. He gets a little...violent. Unless, of course, you want me to handle him." Mattheo says.

"I can handle it. If he even raises a hand, no promises there'll be a Tevon Long anymore." You say, smiling at him.

"See, the devil." He laughs.

You shake your head, seeing Luna Lovegood walking towards your table.

"Nice flowers, Y/n. I was wondering if you are okay? You seem to be glowing today." She says with confusion.

"Glowing is a good thing, Lu." Pansy says softly, a smile on her face.

"Oh! Okay, that makes sense." She mumbles.

"Here." You murmur, taking a flower from the bouquet and tucking it behind her ear once you broke the stem.

"Thank you, have a good day." She says before walking away while mumbling to herself.

"I've gotta go, see you later." You mumble, deciding to get to class and avoid Tevon.

And I pull up to your place, on the second floor

And you're standin', smiling at the door

And I'm sure I've seen much hotter men

But I really can't remember when

"So, Tevon, huh." Lorenzo says, falling into step beside you.

"I told him off. He didn't like it very much. Theo stepped in because as Mattheo said, he went to get physical. Don't tell Mattheo he's right though. It'll go to his head and that's all we need," you say as you roll your eyes before glancing at him and smirking, "jealous, Berkshire? Green doesn't suit you."

"Jealous? I'm not jealous." He says quickly, his cheeks flushing red.

"Mhm...sure. It seems all the guys have decided it's been long enough since we broke up and now I keep receiving bouquets of flowers and chocolates. I've given most to Luna." You say, deciding to test the waters.

"Most? What about the others?" He asks.

"I kept one...he's a rather sweet guy...shouldn't I open myself up and give them a chance?" You ponder aloud.

You gasp, dropping your books and bag to the floor as your pressed against a nearby wall in the empty corridor. You look up at Enzo in surprise to see dark eyes, ones you didn't quite see often, but you knew he was in fact jealous.

"Okay, you win, love. I'm jealous, but please...do not go out with them. Give me a chance. Let me make things right." He pleads.

"And how do I know you won't just break my heart again?" You murmur, your eyes flickering to his lips.

"Because it's been hell since I fucked things up. Please...just give me a chance. I'm begging you. I'll make it right this time. We can be forever just like we imagined. Please, love." He begs.

"I love it when you beg, Enz. Such a pretty boy. But, I can't just give in to your pleas...not yet. You'll need to prove your worthiness as to why you deserve a chance after the shit you put me through." You say matter-a-factly.

"God, you really are a Riddle." He chuckles, leaning down to kiss your cheeks before bending down to grab your school items.

"Yes, and don't forget that for your own sake." You say, walking away from him with your stuff as he gapes at you.

My brain goes, "Ah"

Can't hear my thoughts (I cannot hear my thoughts)

Like blah-blah-blah (blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah)

Should probably not

I should probably, probably not

The music was loud in the Common Room and it was impossible to hear anyone. You were determined to have a good time though. It was a long week of testing and trying to continue to be stubborn to Lorenzo's attempts to prove he is a worthy of another chance. You were painfully afraid of him breaking your heart again. You weren't sure if you could handle it a second time. You wanted to be sure before making a mistake.

However, you might've forgotten to slow down on the drinks. Now you were dancing on a table with Pansy, a group of guys surrounding the table as they cheered you on.

The guys had assumed you two would be okay while they all went out for some fresh air, some of them just needing a smoke. However, none of them paid attention to the drinks the two of you downed before and during the party. Now you guys were drunk and the only thought on your mind was Lorenzo.

You couldn't stop thinking about his lips—god, his pillow soft pink lips, and not to mention his pretty brown eyes. You loved the way they were so soft, but there were the times you went crazy for those dark eyes staring down at you with desire as he fucked you.

You wanted his hands on your hips, loving how they were large and they were slightly veiny—something you were unaware you were attracted to.

At that very moment, Lorenzo walked in the Common Room first, the guys in tow before they all froze as they watched both you and Pansy in shock.

"Fuck, are they throwing money at us?" Pansy slurs, her lips brushing your ear as this was the only way to listen.

"Mmm, yeah I think so. Are we naked?" You mumble confused.

"No, no..." She mumbles.

"Do you think they can see up our dresses?" You whisper with wide eyes.

"Oh fudge nuggets." Pansy whispers.

They couldn't as the room was fairly dark, the green lights flashing amongst the dark room, but you guys wouldn't know that. The thought was gone soon after and you both were dancing sensually once more on the table as the guys pushes through the crowd.

Tom wraps a hand around your ankle, grasping your attention. He holds a hand out as Draco scoops Pansy off the table, handing her down to Blaise who gently sets her on the floor.

You wobble slightly, reaching a hand out and grabbing Toms hand. Mattheo appeared, taking your other one as you looked at the moving ground with a pale face. Lorenzo steps forward, his hands on your hips as he lifts you off the table and gently sets you on the floor. Your hands held your brothers tightly as you sway.

"Oh no, why's the floor moving...why's the room moving?" You mumble, looking around quickly which didn't help you.

"I can take her to her dorm." Lorenzo offers.

Your brothers accept the offer hesitantly, but they both knew he wouldn't ever hurt you. No, they knew it was eating him alive for what he did to you months ago. It was clear to everyone that he loved you desperately and he'd do anything to prove that to you.

He winds an arm around your waist, throwing your arm over his shoulder as he slowly makes the destination to your room. You finally felt like you could breathe.

"Drink this, love." He says softly, handing you a glass of water.

"You're so pretty, Enz. I've always wondered how someone could be so perfect. I love your lips, they are so pink and so soft. And your eyes, so warm and welcoming, yet I've gotten to see how dark and desperate filled they could be. And your hands...did I ever tell you how much I love your hands? They are so, so, sexy." You mumble as you grab his hand and look at it.

"Darling, drink the water." He urges softly, his cheeks red as he felt flustered.

You drink the water, unaware of the potion he'd put in to help sober you up faster. He sifts through your closet before finding one of his shirts you had stolen. He walks over to you, coaxing you to sit on the bed.

He gently starts to take your shoes off as you became more sober, but it didn't help with the feeling between your legs. He gasps lightly as your fingers tangle in his hair, lifting his head to look at you.

"I need you, Enz. Right the fuck now." You say, before gasping as he pins you to the bed, kissing you feverishly.

Seein' you tonight, it's a bad idea, right?

Seein' you tonight, fuck it, it's fine

"So...these mysterious hickeys?" Pansy asks as you both get ready for classes.

"Just having fun." You mumble tiredly.

"Whatever. Are you and Enzo back together?" She asks.

"I know he's my ex, but we are just friends trying to reconnect." You say defensively.

"Right, and that's exactly why when I went to sneak in this morning, you both were lying in your bed naked." She says sarcastically.

You sigh, knowing that it was eventually going to be found out. You just wished you had more time. You focus on your eyeliner for the time being as you tried to find words.

"Okay...I don't know what's going on between Enz and I. I love him...that never went away, but I don't quite trust him. Or maybe I do. But, I'm so scared he'll break my heart again. I'm suppose to be making him prove he's worthy of even having a chance, but we ended up having sex again last night. I just don't need judged or told what to do. I don't know what I want or what I want to do." You admit.

"Y/n/n, I'd never judge you. I think you need to do what's right for you. No matter what you do, I'm in full support if you and Enz end up back together, that's great! You guys were amazing the first time around, it was just his shitty friends. But, they are out of the picture now and he has better friends. But, if you decide that you need to move on from Enz and be just friends, I got you. I'll set you up, I could probably set him up so it isn't so hard to be friends." She says and you laugh softly.

"Gosh, I love you Pans." You murmur.

"Oh I know." She laughs.

Yes, I know that he's my ex, but can't two people reconnect?

"I only see him as a friend," the biggest lie I ever said,

Oh, yes, I know that he's my ex, but can't two people reconnect?

I only see him as a friend, I just tripped and fell into his bed

You continue walking to the Black Lake. Your eyes on the figure who sat right at the shore. Pansy told you he was being odd today—skipping classes, being quiet, being distant and not his normal self at all.

You take a seat next to him, looking out over the Black Lake that glistened under the suns beacon. You look at your knees and sigh.

"Enz, what's going on?" You ask.

He's quiet, unsure of what to say and if he should even say it. You wait patiently, looking back over the lake as you rest your chin on your knees.

"What am I to you?" He asks quietly.

"What do you mean?" You ask confused.

"I've been trying for close to two or three months since we started talking to get back in your good graces. When I think things are going good, we end up sleeping together and then you push me away again." He says confused.

You were quiet, knowing you couldn't be mad that he was growing impatient and upset. It wasn't really fair of you to keep pushing him away after you guys have a very intimate moment. You haven't been the most communicative with him, and you know that.

"Look...I'm sorry. You're right, and I understand your feelings there. I should've been more communicative of my feelings." You explain slowly.

Oh, yes, I know that he's my ex

Can't two people reconnect?

"What's bothering you then? Talk to me, love. I need to understand where your head is in all this." He pleads.

"Enz...I love you and I'll probably always love you if we are being one hundred percent honest. Yes, when we were together I thought we were forever. And yes, I want to give you this chance, but I'm...I'm scared. I hate saying that, but I am. It has been so hard for me to vulnerable and to be able to open up and trust someone enough to love them my entire life...until you. Then...things happened and you hurt me. I want to give you the chance, but I'm so terrified of letting you back in and you hurting me again." You admits quietly.

You close your eyes, hating this sense of vulnerability and emotion. You always tried to keep your emotions at bay and your head on right in order to protect yourself, but it never seemed to quite work out that way when you were with Enzo. He was staring at you, trying to find words of his own and you couldn't bare to look in his deep brown eyes.

You weren't sure if you could handle what his eyes had to say. Instead, your eyes were closed as you tried to ground yourself.

The biggest lie I ever said

"Love...I know I screwed up the first time around, but trust me when I say I regret it. I don't even talk to those people anymore. I realized that if they couldn't accept that I was happy with you and that you were utterly amazing and beautiful, that they didn't deserve to be apart of our lives. I however, realized that too late. But, I learned from my mistakes and I don't want to ever hurt you again, love. Nor, lose you. I realized how much I need you in my life. My heart is yours just as my body and soul and I couldn't have it any other way." He says.

Flashes of the past few months of him trying goes through your head and you smile slightly. He's bought you countless bouquets of flowers, your favorite chocolates, writing handwritten notes, taking you out for a date, giving you his jumper or sweater when your cold, sweet little kisses on your cheek or hand to make you less anxious...and you realize that he's serious.

I just tripped and fell into his bed

"Would you be my boyfriend?" You ask.

You open your eyes, looking at him to see his cheeks flushing red as embarrassment and shyness creep up. You were always direct and he wasn't as direct. It somehow still managed to catch him off guard, even now.

"Yes." He whispers and you smile softly at him.

"You're so pretty." You murmur.

My brain goes, "Ah"

You walk into the Great Hall, hand-in-hand with Enzo as you laugh softly at his story. He was always a brilliant story-teller and he had a lot to fill you in on. Your brothers and friends look at the two of you with dropped jaws as you both sit across from each other. You rest a foot in his lap as you ignore the quietness from your table.

"A-Are you two dating?" Mattheo asks.

"Again?" Tom adds.

"I thought you both were just friends." Pansy whispers confused.

"Yes, we are dating...again. This time will be forever though." You say, smiling softly at Enzo who grins and agrees.

If only you knew the plans of this boys dreams for the two of you.

Can't hear my thoughts

The biggest lie I ever said

My brain goes, "Ah"

Can't hear my thoughts

I just tripped and fell into his bed

Thoughts

Blah

Thoughts

Blah

#harry potter universe #masterlist #slytherin #hp fandom #angst #slytherin x reader #fluff #lorenzo berkshire smut #smut #lorenzo berkshire x reader #lorenzo berkshire #enzo berkshire #enzo berkshire x reader #happy ending #song fic #Spotify

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akindplace · 22 days

Text

The thing about romanticizing the tortured artist trope is that it takes very serious health conditions, physical, mental, and emotional ones, and it turns it into a very empty aesthetic made for consumption. It takes a life story, and it turns it into a punch line, an easy way out to explain a lifelong struggle while having no regard for the person who actually lived it.

It’s a way of simplifying something so complex as a whole life story, take away the good parts, the artist’s talent, and atribute years and year of studying and practicing their craft to an illness. As if it makes people feel better that maybe they aren’t geniuses but at least they aren’t “insane”.

Artists are constantly working to the bone to get people to see and understand their art, to change the current status quo, to perfect their craft. The most important thing is not how an artist died. It’s the life they lived, the work they’ve left behind, their mark on the world. Reducing people to a tragedy is not a way of appreciating their genius: their art is.

No one is a genius because of their illness, their trauma, their suffering, but because they studied and worked hard to develop the aptitude they were born with. Talent is not a miracle, it’s a lifelong effort.

This stereotype is extremely harmful to people who are currently struggling with those health problems, and it should not be used to “give pain a meaning”, because there is always so much more to someone’s life than suffering, and there is always so much more to your own life than romanticizing your own struggles and those of others.

Pain is meant to be worked through, not fed. And when you feed yourself the myth that an artist was brilliant because they were sick, you are erasing a big part of their life to try and make sense of yours. But you won’t find true meaning in life if you’re only feeding your sorrow instead of maybe, just maybe, doing what those artists did and work through it with your own art.

A lot of them did not have any access to healthcare because their conditions were unknown, but they did what they could to keep going. Their deaths don’t mean they gave up in a big tragic ending, and reducing them to that means you’re erasing everything they did to keep going, every fight, every effort they put into their own health and into their life’s work.

I love impressionist art ever since I was in elementary school, my favorite artist being Vincent Van Gogh. I was first introduced to his story as a man who had a mental illness and died a tragic death, while struggling financially and never being recognized properly during his lifetime.

But you see, Vincent Van Gogh had his brother Theo, who kept all the letters his older brother sent him, and sent his brother words of admiration, support, and unconditional love in his own.

He helped Vincent financially so he could pursue his paiting career. He saw the talent in his own brother even when others might’ve not. The period when Vincent was doing a little better with his health was actually when he was most prolific in his painting, which shuts down the idea that someone must be on the gutter and on the deepest pain and sickness to produce great art.

Most people in really poor health have a hard time managing daily life, and they probably won’t miraculously produce their best work yet while they in extreme suffering (I dare you to make the greatest work of art you’re capable of while you’re down with the flu, now imagine being in constant physical, mental and emotional distress and people think you can just make just about anything). Great art takes a lot of work. Genius and suffering don’t go hand in hand, and it reductive to explain away talent by an illness, as if any effort artists put into their craft was meaningless.

Theo named his own son after his brother, and after Vicent died, he still wanted to make his work known, and after his own death, his wife Johanna kept working on Theo’s mission besides her own political activism. She published the letters between the two brothers, and her own son helped in making Van Gogh’s work even more well known. Even though he was just a baby when his uncle died, he kept his memory alive by founding a world famous museum in his name.

Vincent Van Gogh was able to keep working because he was helped by his own family, financially, emocionally, and was given every encouragement so he could go on with his own career. He painted more when he got medical help, even though in his own time he would have had access to much simpler treatments, since the understanding of illnesses has largely changed in the last centuries.

Healthcare, support, compassion and understanding go a long way, and that’s why it’s important to keep pushing society to be more inclusive to people with illnesses - so they will get the help they need, so they won’t leave earlier than they should.

Vincent Van Gogh’s name is not well known just because of his own efforts, but also by the efforts of those who loved him and kept his name alive long after he was gone. He is not famous because he was a tortured artist. He is famous because those who loved him tried to help him in the ways they could, even after he was gone. His fame is not the result of his death, but of his life’s work and the work of those around him.

Love made him known. Support allowed him to keep working. Getting some help even at a time people did not understand his condition well enough meant he could paint more.

Van Gogh was only human, and he felt such a broad spectrum of emotions and lived through so many things, just as we all do. Behind those paintings, there is a person, a story, and so much hard work, and none of that can be reduced to the romanticized ideal of a tragic death of a tortured man.

It is not about his pain, his suffering, his death, you see. It’s about his life. And it’s about the life of those who loved him. He was able to do what he loved because he was loved, and that is the reason is remembered to this day.

I will end this long post with one of his most famous quotes:

“There is nothing more truly artistic than to love people.”

#van gogh #theo van gogh #johanna van gogh-bonger #Vincent willem Van Gogh #on being human #on the tortured artist trope #original writing #on compassion #on art #on love

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gretavanlace · 7 months

Text

Sugar II (part 1)

18+ only! Minors do not interact!

Warnings: adult content, descriptions of alcohol abuse, illusions to casual sex, language, all the angst, etc.

“That had better not be a fan in there.” Josh hisses, just loud enough for his disheveled twin to hear as he stumbles by on his way to the bathroom.

There’s a girl, sprawled out and snoring softly, in the bunk Jake has just lumbered from without grace.

A sound of irritation grunts out of a still half-inebriated Jacob. “Dunno. Met her at that bar, I think. Can you get her out of here? Call a car to meet us at the next rest stop, or something? Make sure she gets home?”

“Get her out of here yourself.” Josh snipes, clearly angry and far beyond exhausted with this all too familiar song and dance.

His brother ignores him and slips into the bathroom. Likely to expel whatever whiskey is still sloshing around in his belly, before showering to wash her perfume from his crawling skin.

The girl, another nameless body to sink into, will be gone by the time he’s through, he knows. Josh will make sure of it. Bless him.

Under the spitting heat of the water raining over him, the tears come again. He loathes them, these tears. Will they ever end? Will he ever find something he can at least pretend to call peace?

Yet, he clings to them…a security blanket of sorrow. Each one a talisman of grief and loss. He would gather them all up if he could. Bottle them into something tangible and accusatory to shove in the face of fate…

Look what you’ve done to me! He’d spit, vibrating with rage. You took her! How could you fucking take her? Where is she? I can’t breathe another second without her. I’m dying, I’m fucking dying.

Most days, he wishes death would finally find him. Most nights, he hunts for it, in self destructive ways. He doesn’t find it, of course, that would be a kindness the universe doesn’t seem to care to offer him. Instead, he seeks that numb and beautiful void. Crawls down into the darkness of endless bottles and women he doesn’t know.

No, he doesn’t wish his agony away. He is attached to it. Comfortable inside the dank, slippery claw of its cruel embrace. For without it, what would be true? That he was finding light again? Without you? The very idea makes him want to crack open his own skull to wash the thought away.

You live in his pain, and if that is how he must have you, that is where you’ll stay. He will keep his pain, gladly.

George Jones was right - he’ll stop loving you the day they lower him into the ground with pennies resting over his eyelids. The sooner, the better.

You’re gone, but you’ve never left him. If he has things his way, you never will. Though, you’re fading…blurring around the edges. Were you ever really there at all?

He once imagined it was all a dream, you belonging to him as well, and he’d wished to never wake up. He wishes for that still, when sleep doesn’t evade him and the booze doesn’t steal his dreams of you. Your laugh, your voice, your skin, soft as a sigh and just as warm. The way you held in your sneezes. Why does he dream about that? It always worried him, mildly. Annoyed him, even.

“Just sneeze!” He would goad you, shaking his head. Why? Why does he dream of that? It makes him feel off-kilter, slightly insane.

When, finally, he trudges out of the bathroom, hair dripping onto his still clammy shoulders, Josh is waiting, just like a spider.

He stretches his arm out across the narrow hall, blocking Jake’s path with his makeshift web “When are you gonna get your shit together?”

“What the fuck are you talking about?” The shove between them is half-hearted. Jake is too drained, and too hungover to make it stick, and Josh’s soul hurts for his twin too badly stomach much more. “Move.”

Josh ignores him in favor of nodding over toward the now vacant bunk, “She looked like her.”

“Fuck you.” Jake ducks beneath Josh’s arm and instantly feels unsteady. Shit, he drank way too much…but what else is new? Josh sidles right back into his path and the spinning in Jake’s head is all for nothing.

“Yeah yeah, fuck you too, brother.” The elder twin is unfazed. Concerned, but unfazed. “They all look like her. But none of them are her, and you know it. You have to stop this, Jake. You have to fucking stop.”

“What part of fuck you didn’t you understand?” He’s being cruel, lashing out with anger that has nowhere else to go. He’s just so angry all the time; it’s a revolting but necessary salve for the hurt. Rage is softer than pain.

Does he blame his brother for you loving him, too? For the fact that Josh held half of your heart and ultimately, that took you away? That it was easier for you to leave than to choose? No.

Does he blame Josh for getting over you? For somehow finding solace and peace? For letting you go? Yes. It seems such a betrayal.

See? He wants to say to you, to hold the words out like some twisted, desperate offering. See? I loved you more all along. Do you see? Come back.

Josh stands his ground, but his words come kindly, and soaked in empathy, “It’s been three years, Jake. You can’t keep living like this. I’m worried. We’re all fucking worried. I look at you and it’s like watching some disease swallow you up. She isn’t coming back. I’m sorry, but you need to hear it. You need to get your head around that.”

With another shove, Jake maneuvers the tight space and steps forward to slide his bunk’s curtain aside, “I don’t want to talk about her.”

“I know, but she…”

Jake turns on his brother, whipping around with feral, furious flames burning wildly in his glare, “I said I don’t want to fucking talk about her, and don’t you ever fucking say that to me again. That she isn’t coming back…”

That seething fury dies out in an instant, only to be replaced with that all familiar sorrow as he hangs his head, loathsome and ashamed of his display. “I’m sorry…just don’t, just please don’t say that. I can’t stand it.”

Josh can feel his heart splintering for his brother. The misery that radiates from Jake like a blackened aura makes him want to turn away, but his loyalty holds him still, to bear witness. He won’t leave him alone in this.

“It should have been you.” Maybe he shouldn’t say it, maybe it will only make the hurt worse. Maybe he’s feeding the beast. But he says it anyway, because it’s true, “Probably right from the start it should’ve been you. But it wasn’t and at some point you’re just gonna have to swallow that.”

Jake visibly deflates, shrinking in on himself as though he’d love nothing more than to disappear…and then he’s silently climbing into his bunk, where Josh knows he’ll stay until he is forced to emerge for soundcheck and wardrobe.

Josh has watched this play out over and over again. A groundhog’s day of mourning.

Jacob will go through the motions - he will make sure your name and a pass is waiting at will call, as though you might decide to materialize at the venu like some miraculous mirage. His eyes will scan the crowd incessantly for a face that isn’t there…and those same eyes will avoid his twin’s when he sings those terrible lyrics, please stay, don’t go away.

…and then he will get smashed as quickly as possible on whatever is readily available and take someone to bed who has eyes that remind him of yours, and a name he won’t care to ask.

Hours later, things are going to plan, just as they always do, with three of them checked into their respective rooms at yet another hotel, and Jake lingering in the lot, hidden away in his bunk.

Josh is trying to meditate, humidifier hissing moisture into the air beside him as he searches for his center. Legs pretzeled and folded beneath him. He hums quietly, just enough to coast along the vibrations. Some days are harder than others when he’s seeking to turn off his mind, relax and float downstream. Today is one of those days.

The carpet in the hotel is too thin, he feels as though he’s perched upon concrete; the walls are also thin to match the flooring, and Jake’s torment is tugging at him relentlessly. Something is different. Something feels off.

He reaches up and runs a flattened palm across his chest, finding comfort in the stark white cotton of his shirt and the mala beads that rest against it. When your world changes as often as theirs, you find your constants in the strangest places.

With a slow, deep breath he begins again, but a knock snatches the promise of celestial calm. Immediately, he’s annoyed - but it fades almost as quickly as it came. It wasn’t going to happen this evening anyway…something isn’t right, and it’s got to be Jake. He’ll deal with his unexpected visitor and then make his way back down to the buses to talk with him.

Connecting with his brother a little will serve as his meditation tonight.

Josh finds Danny’s face distorted and warped by the peephole, and pulls the door open.

“I was trying to achieve inner peace, dick,” he jokes, turning to allow Daniel in, “but you just had to—“

His brother by heart is on such high alert he’s nearly sparking with the electricity of his frantic nerves as he cuts him off, “She’s here, man.”

They rush out of him, those words that carry so much weight, as his hand rakes through his unruly curls, “I just saw her. She’s fuckin’ here.”

Josh needs no clarification, he knows exactly who Danny means, “No she’s not.”

“Yes, she is,” For all of the space he takes up in the room with his size and presence, he sounds remarkably small. They both understand the weight of this, and what it could mean for Jake. “I ran into her in the lobby. She’s in town for work, had no idea we’d even be here…she asked me not to tell you, but…”

“Fuck,” there is a tremor in Josh’s curse, and the weakness of his own voice makes him wince, “Fuck! This is bad. What if he sees her? He can’t handle that, I’m telling you right now.”

Josh can handle that. In fact, he thinks it might be nice to say hello. To hug you and ask how you’ve been, to smile and let you know that hard feelings don’t exist…

But Jake is another story altogether. You broke his heart when you went away. This time, you might rip it right from his chest.

Taglist: @gretasintrees @greta-van-chaos @celestialfauna @s0livagant @groggyvanfleet @kiszkathecook @brokenbellz @llightmyllovee @doodle417 @seventieswhore @jake-kiszkas-smirk @weightofdreams-gvf @imdepressedaf1996 @alisonwonderland29 @gretavanfleas @gretavangroove @jakesgrapejuice @sparrowofthedawn @xserenax-13 @tbagggvf @obetrolncocktails @jakeslovehandles @poofyloofy @70sgroupielovr @heatmyfleet @age-of-nyahh @sammiboo162 @gretasmokerising @spicedandicedtea @jakekiszkasleftnutsack @saoirsemaeve @mywickeddivinity @thelvnternskeeper @paintmyhouse @tripthelightfandomtastic @tripthelight-fanfic @mckenna4 @sarakay-gvf @theweightofjake @thewritingbeforesunrise @joshsmama @sammysvanfeet @rhythm-of-space @highladyofasgard @jordie-gvf-admin @calumspretty @sad1lynn @demolitionndann @gvfpal @gretavangroupie

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ddollfface · 1 month

Note

Can I please request a Yandere Hanayama Kaoru head canon?

𝐀 𝐒𝐥𝐞𝐞𝐩𝐥𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐃𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐦

𝙆𝙖𝙤𝙧𝙪 𝙃𝙖𝙣𝙖𝙮𝙖𝙢𝙖 𝙔𝙖𝙣𝙙𝙚𝙧𝙚 𝙃𝙚𝙖𝙙𝙘𝙖𝙣𝙤𝙣

Warnings; reader is afab/described a girl, yandere behaviors, stalking, I talk a lot, lots of ramblings, probably doesn't make any sense, bad writing, more stalking, Tumblr is trying to silence me, ngl Hanayama is growing on me... If I missed anything, then please let me know ♡ Bro, I'm so sorry that this is super rushed, seeing as I hit the word limit??? I'm super confused because I barely wrote anything, but whatever. A lot of my headcanons are based around @yandere-writer-momo. Also, sorry for being offline for so long lol, kinda forgot I had Tumblr ngl :/

Okay, to start this off, I think that realistically, it'd be very, very, very hard to get Hanayama's attention. He's shown to be stoic and stone-faced, only showing respect and warmth toward specific people (Baki and Shiba included). And I think it's important to mention that the people he does respect is due to their fighting spirit and/or strength, that or they were there during his childhood (like Kizaki and his mama).

And that's just for him to show basic affection toward them, not even accounting for being loving. For you to catch his attention, I think that you'd have to be either a really strong fighter (meaning having impressive skills of some sort) or have a strong will, either one will work. (Though, a lot of the time, both go hand-in-hand).

When I say a strong will, I don't mean you get up after being punched over and over, instead, it can just be standing up for others. Similar to Katsumi, I can see Hanayama being attracted to a person who's selfless, in the sense that they're brave. Someone who's willing to push through their fear and do it, whatever it is. Now, that catches his attention.

There's a never-ending list of cowards who'll run with their tails between their legs at the sight of discomfort, willing to abandon everything just for their own gain, and Hanayama encounters these men all the time. Let's just say that it gets boring, annoying even. So when you see someone who's spitfire, ready to jump into danger for themselves or others. Now, that's impressive.

Whether or not they can actually carry through doesn't matter too much, it's the fact that they got back up, not letting their dignity lay to rest. Personally, I find that Hanayama would be far more interested in someone who's genuinely acting selfless in this way, acting from the heart.

Going more into his childhood, I think this type is rooted in Hanayma's relationship with his mother. Though I haven't read the manga, from the wiki, I've gained that he was close to his mother, loving her very much. We don't know much about her. Hell, we don't even know her name, but we do know that she was kind.

That's the only information we're given, but even from that, I can make an analysis. From this, I know that Hanayama was likely a Mama's boy, though still being trained to be a Yakuta. I don't mean Mama's boy in the traditional sense, I mean it in the way that she was his peace, his way out of the Yukuta world, his destiny. Being raised in a gangster lifestyle isn't easy, nor is it soft, so just imagine the damage that type of environment can put on a child's brain?

Horrible, huh? So I like to think that Hanayama's mama, before she passed, was far softer to him, giving him some sense of security. this is possibly why he felt such sorrow after she passed, discarding the natural pain we feel when our mama dies (seeing as there's a primal connection we have with our mama, but that doesn't matter too much at the moment).

Hanayama is a very monotone kind of guy, who, I imagine, doesn't like people with some type of alternate motive. Like, y'know how politicians or businessmen talk? Like they're hiding something from you? Yeah, Hanayama loathes those kinds of people, especially if they're trying to pursue him. I belive that he wants someone who'll keep his life steady; be his calm, if you will.

He wants someone who will be upfront, express themselves clearly, and won't keep what they're thinking from you. To him, this is a breath of fresh air. Hanayama is constantly surrounded by lackeys trying to kiss up to him, speaking with a hidden motive (which isn't really hidden in retrospect). If they're not trying to appease them, then they're quacking in their boots, ready to piss themselves.

But you're not like that, no, not at all. You're different. Hanayama can tell, you aren't some coward, instead, you're someone to respect. He can imagine you sitting next to him, all pretty as a Yakuza's wife. Yeah, he likes the sound of that. Well, the only problem is that you don't know who he is, not yet at least.

I imagine that you wouldn't know who Hanayama is, at first, seeing as he never spoke to you. He likely witnessed you acting selfless in some type of way, expressing your kindness by helping a grandma get across the street, something like that.

You didn't notice him, but he sure noticed you. At first, it wasn't anything too special. Hanayama just found you interesting, wanting to see what you'd do next, so he had one or two of his men keep a tab on you--nothing serious. It continues like that for quite a while, and Hanayama learns more and more about you. He knows that you like to sing when you cook, tapping your feet to the beat, and swaying side-to-side. It's cute, he thinks. And Hanayama feels closer to you, as if you know each other, like you're friends.

But then one of his men reports that you're not at home, not following your usual schedule. Instead, you were at some dingy cafe, drinking crappy coffee with another man, some slumbag who looked like he hadn't showered in a hot second. For some reason, which Hanayama doesn't know, he gets ticked off.

Someone as sweet, kind, and damn pretty as you shouldn't associate with someone like him, someone so gross.

He doesn't do anything, no, no yet. It'd be too brash, and too stupid. And Hanayama isn't stupid. No, Hanayama can keep himself composed, now knowing that he needs to get your attention. Afterall, he can't have you running around with other men, not when he's right here! Well... you don't know that, yet.

Few weeks pass, and you've completely forgotten the trashy date you had gone on, but Hanayama hasn't. You begin to notice new outfits appearing in your closet, clothing you certainly didn't have previously. They're far too expensive, too revealing for you to own.

You'll be confused, especially when these dresses, heels, and coats are no longer just appearing, but instead, being presented. Now, instead of being hung up or nicely folded in your closet, they're being laid out on your bed, accompanied by a pretty, black leather box with silk insides. A little note is stuck on top of the shimmering dress, causing you to gulp, looking around as a shiver racks through your body.

Who the hell is buying you a dress? (though, it looks far more like lingerie, seeing as you'd never be able to wear it out in public). You don't know, but you can't help but feel the heat rise to your cheeks as you lift the velvet cloth, feeling the lace slip through your fingers. Once you tried it on, listen, you couldn't help but feel curious, you gawked at how it fit you like a glove, hugging your curves, and accentuating your hips and bust.

It's fucking creepy, that's all you can think, but it gets worse, way worse. Throughout the weeks, you notice more and more gifts show up at your doorstep. The dresses get severely revealing, much to your discomfort. So do the notes. They get too detailed and too accurate to your day-to-day. By now, it's clear that you have a stalker, a rich one at that.

I'd have to say that this is the worst part of being with Hanayama: the courting. It's hella weird! You'll never feel alone, always having someone watching you, mostly Hanayama. He doesn't have his lackeys watching you anymore, seeing as he's far too jealous for that. He doesn't want someone as low at them to see you in such an innocent, vulnerable state. No, that's only for him to see.

Don't be surprised when he shows up at your door, your last hookup's head in hand and a bundle of roses in the other. After all, it's time for you to come home, no?

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afewproblems · 1 year

Note

and there you go hurtin' me so good again with the continuation of your cheating!Eddie steddie fic.. thank you! <3

Based on Part One, and this Ask here,

I was chatting with @samcoxramblings yesterday about this and I think maybe there should be some Steve POV, as a treat.

If Steve thought about the last few weeks of his life alongside every other instant of sorrow and pain he'd experienced, his relationship with Nancy, the Upside Down, the death of Barb, his parents, he'd say he should be used to this sort of thing by now.

But perhaps he'd been spoiled.

He'd had more than twenty years of happiness, contentedness, with Eddie and their life together. He'd relaxed too much, and here was the other shoe crashing down.

The home phone line in their apartment has been ringing off the hook, reporters have been trying to get ahold of him to see his side of things, leaving messages and one bold enough to come to their apartment leaves a letter taped to their door.

Steve disconnectes the phone and installs another lock after that.

And speaking of letters, there have been a mix delivered to their shared PO Box, some in support of Steve, sympathetic to the situation, others are ecstatic --seeing it as their chance to wedge their way into his marriage just like the last person, that they've always hated Steve and can't wait to see him gone.

He only reads a few letters before letting them pile up on the side table by the door.

All because of that stupid photo.

There was no discernable face in the photo, or photos, that ended up online.

Just Eddie talking animatedly to someone facing away from the camera view. It pieces together the evening, a meet cute, a conversation, walking out of the bar together, and a passionate kiss before getting into a taxi.

Eddie confirms it, and it's like his heart breaks in two.

There are a million questions rattling around in his head.

How many times has this happened? How long has Eddie been lying to him, was this a one time thing or have they been secretly meeting one another for multiple tours? Does the band know? Have they been lying to his face as well?

Steve feels as though he's been on autopilot, walking around in a fog while at home, and mechanically moving through his lesson plans while at school.

To make matters worse, his principal calls him at home after the news breaks.

"Steve, how are you doing? I'm so sorry to hear," she tells him solemnly over the line, "if there is anything we can do please let us know".

"Thank you Liz, I, I really appreciate it," Steve hums, his voice much more level than it has been in awhile, "I'll take Spring break to finish up my marking and get my head on straight before we're back--"

"Steve, I'm sorry, I think," she hesitates, Steve can hear her pace around her office, her signature kitten heels click against the tiled floor, "I think it would be best if you take a little longer than Spring Break".

He feels his stomach drop into his shoes, no, no, they can't...

"What, what are you talking about, are you--"

"No, no, of course not," her voice shrill, panicked and tinny, over the line as she backpeddles, "no, we just think it would be better for you and the kids if you took some time away. We have a sub lined up and this wouldn't be permanent, just until it dies down".

"You can't be serious Liz, come on, their finals are coming up at the end of the month and I've never let my personal life affect my job before and I'm not about to start now, I don't need a leave of absence, I'm fine," he lies.

It has been difficult to get through class, to ignore the whispers from the kids during break or while they work in groups. He can feel curious eyes follow him in between the desks as he walks around for questions.

Liz sighs into the line and all at once knows the conversation is over, that it was never a conversation to begin with.

"Look, you're the best department head we've had in a long time Steve, and I want you back, fresh, for the kids. I can't imagine how you're feeling right now and I know this isn't what you wanted but I think it will be for the best".

"How long?" Steve manages to say, so softly that Liz asks him to repeat himself.

"Excluding the break, I'll say three weeks, so you can be back to see them through their exams," she sighs again, "the school year isn't over yet Steve, you'll still have lots of time with them".

Steve raises a shaking hand to his hair, running his fingers through it from root to tip. It could be good to take that time, Robin had asked him if he would when they initially spoke. It could give him a chance to think about what to do.

But, at this point, he worries if he stops moving, if he slows down, he won't be able to stop the grief he can feel, knocking at his window.

"Okay, okay, Liz, I'll take some time".

***

Steve finishes his marking in record time, but perhaps it's easy when one doesn't sleep.

He reorganizes the pantry twice, deep cleans all the storage closets, he throws every piece of clothing in the house into the laundry, including Eddie's, drops off the dry cleaning, and washes the walls.

He moves the furniture around and finds himself looking at rentable scaffolding to see about finally starting that painting project he's been thinking about.

It's only Wednesday.

One by one his family begin to reach out as the news begins to circulate more prominently in the regular entertainment news outlets. Hopper and Joyce call, Joyce asks Steve if he wants to come back to Hawkins for a bit, that their door is always open for him, just as it was when he was in his twenties. Hopper tells him all Steve needs to do is give him the word and he'll be in Chicago with a shovel, no questions asked.

Steve thanks Joyce and gives Hopper an emphatic, 'NO,' but he appreciates them all the same.

Dustin innocently brings up that he'll be in Chicago for a few days the following week, that Robin offered Steve's guest room to him, and Steve finds himself smiling while shaking his head at the co-conspirators.

All of the kids call at least once, but they are busy themselves, none of them are on a leave of absence after all, he thinks bitterly to himself.

Thursday afternoon there's a knock at his door, Steve is in the middle of changing out the old washer from the kitchen sink -finally getting around to fixing the small leak, he freezes at the sound.

He's not expecting anyone and even though he and Robin are nearly joined at the hip she still has the decency to call before showing up at his door.

Steve climbs out from under the sink and wipes his hands on the nearest towel before slowly walking towards the door. All the locks are still bolted from the night before, so he feels safer leaning in to peer through the peephole.

It's Wayne?

Steve feels his heart begin to race, what on earth was Wayne doing here? Was Eddie with him? Corroded Coffin was still on tour, he couldn't be.

He hazards another glance through the peephole but he can't tell if there is anyone else in the hall.

Wayne knocks again making Steve jump at the sudden noise.

Steve breathes in deeply through his nose and out through his mouth once, twice, before he unlocks both bolts and the chain with shaking hands, he opens the door a fraction.

"Wayne? What are you doing here?" Steve says softly, he steps aside to let the man through.

"I came to check on you," Wayne says after a beat, he wipes his feet on the second mat inside and shrugs off his red windbreaker. Steve tries to take the jacket to hang it up but raises his hands in surrender as Wayne waves him off and opens the closet to hang it up himself.

Steve takes him into the kitchen and puts on a pot of coffee, they never did invest in one of those single serve coffee machines, Eddie drank so much coffee when he was home that it made no sense and, 'brewed coffee just tates better Stevie'.

Steve shakes the memory away and grabs two mugs from the cupboard, "Just sugar right?"

He reaches for the empty sugar bowl as Wayne nods, he hovers awkwardly as Steve flits around the kitchen.

Steve grabs the sugar from their pantry and fills up the bowl before placing it on the table with a spoon.

"So," Steve sighs as he leans against the counter next to the coffee maker, it hisses and bubbles filling the air with the smell of brewing coffee, "Eddie put you up to this, huh?"

Wayne frowns but nods, "Call it the first good decision that dumb-ass has made in the last few weeks," he scratches the graying scruff on his cheeks and steps closer, "how are you doing son?

Steve wants to tell him about how he hasn't let himself even think about the future. How he told Eddie he couldn't come home yet, how he's so achingly lonely despite the number of people that have reached out. How he doesn't want to think about a life without Eddie, but that he also can't imagine being in the same room as him for more that a minute without wanting to just scream at him.

How, Steve firmly believed that he would lose the man standing in his doorway, how his friendship with Gareth and Chrissy would inevitably fracture over Eddie, and once again Steve would be alone, picking up the pieces of his life to start again.

Instead, he manages to say, "I'm so glad you're here," before stepping into Wayne's arms, and allowing himself to be held as he finally, finally cries.

Wayne's arms come around him firmly, he reaches one hand up to cradle Steve's head while the other rubs his back, "its okay son, I gotcha," he whispers as Steves shoulders shake and his chest stutters.

"I gotcha".

#cw infidelity #steve harrington #time for steves pov #we love a protective and wise uncle wayne in this house #stranger things #cheating Eddie continuation #i promise im working on my other wips too #im just putting poor steve through the wringer at this point #sorry y'all #hurt and very little comfort

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dianethepisceswitch · 2 months

Text

My feelings on the "Silver is gonna kill Malleus" topic

@oddberryshortcake recently made a post explaining her opinions on the topic. One of her key points was that death and killing goes against Silver's character and morals. I agree with that opinion wholeheartedly. Silver is Aurora, and would try to be compassionate and ease Malleus's pain with his words rather than drawing a sword. If anything, the person out of that group who would be quickest to pull out a sword and start fighting would be Sebek. This doesn't apply as much because of his intense Malleus worship, but Sebek is less likely to try and talk things out. I really do doubt that anyone is gonna try and kill him unless S.T.Y.X. as a company wants to disobey the Shrouds and take matters into their own hands.

Despite all of this, I'm really angsty. Seriously, I love a good bad ending. One of my biggest gripes with the chapters in Twisted Wonderland is that after they defeat an overblot everything just goes back to normal. I know that this is a Disney world and there's ALWAYS a happy ending in Disney films, but it's unrealistic. Not trying to say that a universe with cat men, magical frisbee tournaments, and ink monsters is realistic, but the effect that overblot has on the universe is almost non-existent. I think if Malleus were to die, it could give everyone the reality check they needed. Not everything has some happily ever after. People die. People become traumatized. It may have been fun the past six chapters to dance and have a rhythmic after we defeat a "villain", but chapter seven if different. For a lack of better words, chapter seven isn't like other chapters. Chapter seven having lasting, devastating, worldcrushing, eye-opening consequences that the characters have never experienced, besides the Diasomnia group.

Truely, if Malleus dies I could imagine everybody trying to be happy. Trying to start a rhythmic, but ultimately breaking down instead. Screaming, crying, numb, etc, as a result of not only Malleus's death, but because of everything they themselves have faced. Perhaps Leona can finally breakdown and cry about his lack of feeling valued as a kid, you get the picture. This would be bad especially for the Diasomnia group and the player. For Diasomnia, he was family, whether he was a brother, a master, or a son, he was family and now he's gone. I could see the characters going out into public and hearing and seeing people celebrating his death, someone like Rollo. Seeing this could evoke feelings of anger, or cause the profound sorrow to well up once again. After all, Malleus's death is basically him losing Melanor and Levan for a second time.

Luckily for us, Disney is a bunch of flakers, so I doubt they will take this road. Regardless of whether he lives or dies, I'll be satisfied. I'm excited to see what Aniplex has in store for the remainder of this chapter, and I will be anxiously watching alongside the rest of the fandom.

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tornado1992 · 7 months

Text

WHOLESOME SONIC AND TAILS WEDNESDAY - FRONTIERS DLC BAD ENDING EDITION - EEEH I CAN'T WRITE FLUFF TO SAVE MY LIFE BUT DAMN I MISS WHOLESOME SONIC AND TAILS WEDNESDAY SOOOO HERE'S MY TRY TO CONTRIBUTE

Star gazing

"Tails, buddy please, look at the stars... look at them, they're shinning" - and yet he didn't dare to rise his gaze himself, blurry emerald eyes looking for another kind of shine in a blue much lighter than the sky's, one that he knew wouldn't exist anymore. All because of him.

"Mmmm... W-where... Everything's reawy dark..." - the tears wouldn't stop falling as he tried to look up, fighting the tremors and coldness that were running trough his body, as unlikely as it was to feel such things in his current semi physical state, not being entirely there as his mouth could no longer taste the blood that was comming from inside him earlier, that was a bad sign, it was way more preocupying than not smelling the grass and flowers that he knew surrounded him, and now he couldn't even feel the heat of his own tears, but as he tried to lift his hand to hold onto the blurry blue form that he could swear was above him a sonic second before the world fell to darkness, he knew that he couldn't. And yet, he felt all the pain while not feeling his brothers arms around him. It wasn't fair.

It made sense given the thought, of all of them, he was the youngest, the tiniest, of course even a small portion of the cybercorruption Sonic was going through would affect him the most, but he gladly faced the challenge as he knew they we're counting on him; they were getting out, he'd make sure of it, even if it meant to absorb all the cybercorruption himself, he already knew pain, this was just a different kind, one that his only family was willing to take to protect them, to protect him, and he will not let him feel it again, he will not let them feel it at all.

He wanted Amy to keep smiling even as tears would paint her face, Knuckles to laugh as he would scold him for being reckless, and Sonic... Where's Sonic?

"S-Sonic, where are you?!" - the kit knew he was talking, even as no sound got to his ears, not even his voice staying to acompany him in his last moments. Or maybe it was there, but just as Sonic, he couldn't reach it.

He didn't wanted fear and pain to be the last thing he felt, it was the first thing he remembers ever feeling. So, as he gets no answer, he tries to do as his brother told him and look at the stars, and as he can no longer archieve that, he imagines them.

The stars always had a soothing effect on him, managing to calm his worst fears as his brother held him close after a nightmare when they were just the two of them, amaze him as he taught him all the stories behind those shinning figures in the sky that could only be seen as the sun went to sleep, and leave him in awe everytime the person he loved the most became one undefeatable, bright, yellow star.

He really loved stargazing since he was a kid, a much smaller, tinnier kid. Small enough that the thought of becoming a star felt possible even with a genious mind such as his, his brother once told him he could become one too, so he believed him. Even when the light pollution was enough to not let him see any constelations, he knew the stars were still there, just as he knew his brother was hugging him everytime he closed his eyes as he prepared to rest. Just as this time.

As the small body of the kid fell limp in the speedsters arms, one last tear fell from the once shinning baby blue eyes, it was cold.

Crying and hysterical laughing could be heard from beside them, neither with a hint of joy, happines or relief behind it, sorrow and rage taking those places.

Even as the midnight sky kept glowing, emerald eyes lost their birightnes, as the stars were no longer shinning. They would never shine again.

#sonic #sonic the hedgehog #sonic and tails #miles tails prower #wholesome sonic and tails wednesday #angst #sonic frontiers #sega sega why did u lie #i wanted more angst sega #yeah he died

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deathmetalunicorn1 · 1 year

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Hellow, it's me again, can I request that the reader is like blue diamond from steven universe, her ability is really interesting on how she can make her grief a weapon that can spread to other's and emotionally & physically break them down, ofc there's also an ability that's the opposite of that which makes the person high on life or be in a euphoric state. In short she can project her emotions to other's.

I can imagine a scenario like:

Ever since the news of pink diamond (youngest out of the 4 diamonds) got shattered, reader fell into a deep depression to the point where whenever someone goes close to her by 5ft they would feel the grief and sorrow she felt. Reader would admit that pink was her favorite out of her siblings, their personalities might be the opposite on how pink is enthusiastic and bold while reader is calm and mellow. Fast forward on a few days after someone captured the god that had brutally shattered pink, the court then began session as all the gods have gathered to witness the first trial.

A few hours have passed and the reader hadn't spoken once but then the topic of 'how did they shatter pink' arrived, as they we're about to end the first trial reader then halted them saying to let them explain how they did it, as the god was explaining poorly on how they did it the reader then questioned what weapon did they used, the god froze for a minute before replying "a dagger..", the reader then stood up from her seat enraged slamming her hands to the table as it cracked from the impact "IT WAS A SWORD, HOW DARE YOU LIE." Reader said in distress as the whole court has been fully surrounded by a blue aura filled with sorrow and grief making most gods cry and fell to their knees.Yellow diamond then came and escorted reader out of the court to take a break from all that's happened releasing everyone from crying their soul out.

Now the million dollar question is how would the ROR god's react from readers strong outburst, especially the ones that doesn't show emotion much, cause i can really imagine ares just clenching his heart out while on his knees sobbing hard and zeus almost dying from choking. (P.S. i really love you're writing, it makes my hyperfixation on this anime go SKRRTT BRRRR, keep up the good work❤️)

Thank you for your kind words!

-Your outburst in the trial of Pink Diamond’s murder became known throughout all of Valhalla, on how your power, your sorrow, was able to affect the strongest of the gods.

-Zeus had barely managed to keep standing, gripping his chest over his heart as tears pooled from his eyes, harsh gasps escaping him as he stared at you in awe, he had no idea you were that powerful.

-Odin was the only one able to keep from shedding any tears, even though the sorrow in his heart, the sorrow that you felt, he could feel his own anguish in every inch of his body.

-Thor was brought to one knee, stunned by the wave of intense sadness. He had been watching this proceeding, as he too wanted to know what could shatter a diamond, but when you stood in rage and sorrow quickly spread through the room, he was in awe, he had never seen someone so powerful.

-Loki couldn’t bring himself to make a joke, nearly choking on his tears, gasping pants leaving him as his shoulders shook with harsh sobs. When he managed to look up at you, the only thing that he was able to do was cry even more, feeling your hurt.

-Ares collapsed instantly to his knees, holding his chest as tears pooled out, sobs ripping from his throat as he felt your hurt, your pain, the loss of your sister, the light of your life.

-Hermes had kneeled almost gracefully when hit with your emotions, the tears were quick to be stinging at his eyes, his eyes closing as he clutched at his suit over his heart, weepy softly for you, for your loss.

-Hades was another who was brought to his knees, tears nearly blinding him, but his eyes remained on you, on your own crying form. He looked around the room, seeing the others in the same shape and he had to admit your power was respectable.

-Poseidon would refuse to admit he had been crying, but he too was taken to his knees, trying to fight the tears that ran down his cheeks, but he couldn’t get them to stop. Your sorrow was so powerful, he could feel your ache in every inch of his body.

-Shiva was another who openly cried, as he was hugging his wives who were all sobbing, trying to console them while trying to handle his own tears. He couldn’t even think about the idea of losing any of his children, any of his family, he couldn’t fathom what you were feeling.

-Buddha’s lollipop fell from his mouth, shattering upon impact with the ground, but he didn’t care, tears blinding his vision as his hand was clutched to his chest, feeling the sorrow deep within him, he almost felt like vomiting.

-Beelzebub cried easily, letting himself sink to his knees, his head tilting back as he joined the other gods who were wailing in sorrow. Your own sorrow felt familiar, he felt similar pain when he killed his friends and when he killed Lilith, your sorrow allowed him to cry again.

-Many came to fear that power while at the same time, sympathizing with you, as your grief was something they wouldn’t be able to understand, not the way you’re feeling.

-Zeus himself was the first to approach you, weeks after the outburst, after you locked yourself away in your palace, with some blue roses for you and a shoulder to lean on if you were to accept it.

-You were calmer now, but still teary, as Zeus felt himself getting emotional, your powers affecting his emotions, but he allowed himself to be vulnerable to you, as you just lost your sister, who you basically raised as a child, and now she was gone, shattered, never to return to your waiting embrace.

-He patted your hand gently, offering kind words, “You never stop missing someone just because they’re gone, that shows that you truly do care for them- love them. The pain may fade, but it will always remain.”

-His words did help a bit, but they also made you cry which made him cry again.

-You just wanted to know how Pink was shattered, you wanted the truth, as you think if you knew the truth, then you could rest, but as the truth evaded you, your mind was unable to rest.

#record of ragnarok #ror x reader #ror loki #ror buddha #ror odin #ror poseidon #ror zeus #ror thor #ror shiva #ror hades #ror beelzebub #ror hermes #ror ares

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blitzwhore · 1 month

Note

looking at 24/43 👀

Thanks for the prompts! :)

24. “we’ll face this together” kisses / 43. “we’ll get through this” kisses

Stolitz | ~690 words | Teen and Up | Angst, pining, self-hatred, mental health issues, character study, crying, alternating/mirrored POV

On AO3

Long, black, slender fingers curling around wrinkled bed sheets, and tears streaming down soft feathers.

Shaky, scarred hands pulling up a blanket to hide from the world—tears running down smooth cheeks.

“I'm scared, Blitz.” “I'm scared, Stolas.”

Murmured, muffled against a pillow.

“I know.” “I know.”

And the ghost sensation of fingers wiping away tears.

“She wants to take everything away. She wants to take Octavia away. She won't stop until I'm dead.”

“I can't stop hurting the people I love most. I feel like I was born doomed. No matter what I do, I'm going to die alone.”

“Shhh…”

“Shh, shh, it's okay.”

“I'm here, Stolas. I won't let her hurt you again.”

“I'm here, Blitzø. I'm not going anywhere.”

The comfort only makes Stolas cry harder, curling closer to Blitz. Desperately craving the physical closeness; needing to be taken care of. Feeling like, maybe, all this pain is worth it if it means he can have Blitz's affection.

It's so hard to believe that Stolas means it—that he won't leave. Blitzø can't help the sobs that escape him. He doesn't deserve this, but he wants it. Hell, he craves this so badly it feels like it might kill him.

“No matter what comes. We'll face this together, okay?” Blitz murmurs, kissing Stolas’ forehead delicately. Stolas nods through the tears, burrowing closer to his chest. Blitz's warmth permeates his body, sinking deep into him, and, for the first time in who knows how long, Stolas feels safe. Feels wanted, and cared for, and cherished.

“I know you're scared, Blitzø. But you won't scare me away. And if ever you feel afraid again, I'll be here.” There's a soft kiss pressed to his temple, and then Stolas says, “We'll get through this together, as many times as it takes.” The hope that Stolas’ words awaken in him is terrifying, but Blitzø can't help but cling to it, desperate to believe it's true.

If only this was real… Oh, if only it was real.

Inevitably, the warmth against his chest fades, leaving Stolas curled up around nothing. Nothing but cold bedsheets and the imagined presence of someone who isn't here to comfort him, or to cradle him gently and envelop him in warmth; someone who, perhaps, never will.

He isn't really here, of course. Why would he be? To listen to Blitzø bitch and moan about his stupid issues? He scoffs. He's only torturing himself by imagining that Stolas could ever care about someone like him.

His bed is too big, too empty. The vast, hollow loneliness that engulfs him threatens to suffocate him. It makes Stolas feel small—insignificant—invisible. He's screaming, but nobody listens. Nobody cares.

He's curled up on the shitty couch he calls a bed—all alone in the darkness of his and Loona's flat. No one to witness his pitiful display of self-loathing. And still, somehow, Blitzø feels like he's taking up more space than he deserves. Like, maybe, Hell would be a better place if he just wasn't here at all.

He can't breathe.

He aches.

Drowning—sinking deeper and deeper into sorrow and despair.

Not knowing how to stop feeling so wrong inside—so useless and broken beyond repair.

Aching for a life past appearances and duties; past the facade of a fabricated smile.

Hoping he could start over and turn his life around. Make amends. Soften his rough edges, and not be so terrified to let his walls down.

Yearning for something, anything he can hold onto. A version of himself that feels genuine and free.

A life where he hasn't fucked up everyone who's made the mistake of getting close to him.

A life where he can laugh, and have sex, and cuddle, and be silly. Where he can be spontaneous, adventurous, real.

A life where he's worth something. Where he's worth keeping around.

A life that is vibrant and fulfilling.

A life that feels safe.

… A life with Blitz.

A life with Loona, and Moxxie, and Millie, and Fizz, and…

… And Stolas.

A life he fears he might never have.

A life he knows he will never deserve.

#helluva boss #Stolitz #Blitzwhore writes #stolas x blitz #blitz x stolas #stolitz fanfic #Stolitz angst #helluva boss fanfiction

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good-beanswrites · 5 months

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oomph i know i'm definitely really early with this ask (changing time zones for vacation is weird o.O) but I was thinking about it over the past few days

for the lights, camera, sing your sins au, are the interrogations somewhat scripted where the prisoner knows what to say and Es is mostly just reactions or questions to that? I feel like we've talked about this but I have forgotten jandjnf o.O

because all i can think about is Es getting beaten up or close to tears in the first voice dramas and man if it's scripted, i feel bad for the prisoners who have to do this to es o.O

Hi Mug :D No worries, a slightly late reply because I was on vacation too haha! 🍂

And I mean it's whatever works best in people's minds, but I always pictured there being very little scripted, actually! I'd hoped that everything was as natural as possible. The prisoners just have to make the little shift to act as if they did follow through with the murder instead of talk about how close it came -- other than that, everything that happens is the characters' honest questions, answers, and reactions.

When explaining the no-violence ban to everyone, Fuuta and Kazui (and later Amane) tell Jackalope how they would think during their interrogations. Jackalope instructs them all how to act in order to stay consistent with the barriers/losing strength stuff. I think the only explicitly scripted action is Mikoto's violence, since Red admits he may resort to that if Blue felt threatened. Jackalope tells him to get to the point of violence no matter how the interrogation goes, as it's necessary (to proving Mikoto's situation, to driving home the central ideas of Mikoto's case, to reveal Milgram's process and 'limits,' etc).

And yeah, it definitely tears him apart to actually do it -- he has to verify that Es signed up for this several times (which they did), and it still takes a lot of resolve to follow through with hurting an innocent kid like that. I imagine that's one of the reasons he's not really upset that Kotoko surprised everyone by intervening: he felt so guilty about the attack and was grateful someone came in to stop it.

Although it wasn't physical pain, Mahiru is also really upset that she brought Es such emotional strain. She thinks it's cruel to fool them into feeling bad for her when she's okay, and it takes a lot of reassurance from the others to convince her it's for the sake of the experiment -- every part of the process has toyed with everyone's emotions, she's not a terrible person for doing so.

Whether in the middle of the trial or the final executions, I think any characters who die next trial will also feel awful for making Es mourn for them when they're still alive. It's not all one-sided guilt, though. It's balanced by anger/sorrow towards Es for condemning them to death in the first place because of their decisions. Any time they get too caught up in thinking "I'm so cruel for tricking them like this," they have a moment of "well, they did specifically order my death, so..."

When I'm looking for a pure fix-it, I'll let those emotions go pretty easily <3 But unfortunately my writer ass is never free from The Themes asdfsdf and sometimes I still get caught up in the project's major focus -- not only is Es facing the original Milgram dilemma of choosing whether or not to follow authority, but now the prisoners are faced with the exact same decision. Do they physically/mentally hurt this child "for the experiment?" Because someone in authority told them to? They're doing this to prove a point about justice and fairness, but where should they draw the line? At what point is it not for the greater good and they are just causing more harm?

I think I mentioned it before but in this au the prisoners are extremely motivated by the promise that this experiment will help others like them. Yuno wants to make a statement about society's views on abortion and sex work. Muu wants to make a difference for bullying victims. Kazui hopes to be a voice for all those who have had to keep theirs quiet about something. Mikoto hopes his story creates more awareness and acceptance for people who are usually terribly stereotyped and feared. Kotoko wants to bring to light the problem of corruption and what can be done about it, and so on. In the end, they can always justify causing a little emotional/physical harm because they are doing it for a good reason.

#milgram #thanks for the question!#sorry for another rambly au post -- i just love chatting about it LMAO #ironically im trying to keep everything as canon as possible 😅#i think mikotos interrogation is the only one with something specifically set down by outside influences #because red would be really against the idea initially but he figures if its all consensual and it can really help people like himself #then its 100% worth it #i havent quite pictured how the prisoners think the results of the experiment will be released #i dont think they believe their videos/time in prison will reach the whole public #but they still assume the end goal is making a very public report #i think thatll be for me to decide at the end of the project when we have a better picture of everything #asdfsdf we havent even finished t2 and im already undoing character deaths from the finale 😂😂😂#anyway i hope your vacation went/is going well! take it easy pal :)#lights camera sing your sins

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faceimploded · 11 days

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A certain song that describes (a hypothetical) Ceroba

Edit:

@engisanic pointed out there's literally a line in the pacifist route, right before Ceroba engages in battle:

"I almost wish you never showed up in the Wild East. Maybe then I could've continued to bury my sorrows in the Saloon."

Thanks for the correction! Original post below:

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I've been hooked on reading fanmade Undertale Yellow written works (i.e. fanfiction), and I notice there's a sort of headcanon(?) that mostly involve Ceroba getting drunk most of the time as a way to cope with grief.

Incidentally, while reading up on more fics, a certain song started playing, and I realized it does describe this aspect pretty well, so I'll be breaking the song's lyrics down and include some personal interpretations (though if anyone has some insights or info to add, that'd be great!)

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「思い出酒」

omoide zake

Memories (brought forth from sake)

by Sachiko Kobayashi (小林幸子)

Feel free to listen to the song linked above in the title first—there's even a translation provided by the channel jpoptranslationsbyalulu, thought there are some nuances from other sources that I don't quite agree with (hence the personal interpretations).

Presuming that Ceroba does drink a lot, this song would make a lot more sense in that context—even more so that it's (modern) enka, a type of sentimental ballad where the song's theme often involves romance and bleak life themes, perhaps like heartbreak or loneliness. A love song of sorts in some ways.

If the underground had a karaoke box, I can imagine Ceroba singing to this.

With that, I'll be breaking down the song into stanzas and analyze each of them as follows:

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Japanese

Romaji

English (literal translation)

Let's start with the first stanza:

無理して飲んじゃいけないと

muri shite nonja ikenai to

"Do not force [yourself] to drink"

肩をやさしく抱きよせた

kata wo yasashiku dakiyoseta

Gently embraced the shoulder

Putting these two lines together, the nuance is that someone walked up to the singer (or speaker) and is warning her not to drink too much before pulling her into a gentle embrace.

It's interesting though that the second line is left ambiguous since there's nothing to specify who's doing the action (in this case, embracing their shoulder). As a result, some may interpret this as the speaker finding comfort and relief in the drink itself rather than a person.

Then again, the first line already indicates a sort of quote (と), so I think this was more in the literal sense of a stranger talking to the speaker.

You probably see where I'm going with this, but somebody (likely a certain sheriff) caught Ceroba over-drinking, and he's telling her to take it easy as he comforts her.

---

The song heads straight to the chorus (where the first and third lines are repeated, so I'll focus on the second lines in future choruses):

あの人どうしているかしら

ano hito doushiteiru kashira

How is that person faring?

噂をきけばあいたくて

uwasa o kikeba aitakute

[I] want to meet them upon hearing those rumors

おもいで酒に酔うばかり

omoide zake ni you bakari

Only drunk in sake and memories

Being close friends, it's no surprise that your friend's wellbeing will be a constant in your thoughts, but the second line seems to indicate a pretty strong desire, a longing to see them just thinking about them, just hearing a single mention of their name.

If only we knew what Ceroba was really thinking... Hm.

---

The second stanza:

ボトルに別れた日を書いて

botoru ni wakareta hi wo kaite

[I] write about the day I parted from the bottle

そっと涙の小指かむ

sotto namida no yubi kamu

and lightly bite my pinky wet with tears

It took a while for me to understand the 'bottle' part, but the speaker, who had such a strong tendency to lean towards drinking, is now putting a hold on drinking (parting from the bottle). Well, putting the sake bottle away anyway. Because the speaker is now drunk on something else: a certain feeling, a certain longing. A desire strong enough to put them off drinking (for even a day?) and long for this person it pains her.

---

The second chorus is the same except for the middle second line:

あの人どうしているかしら

ano hito doushiteiru kashira

How is that person faring?

出船の汽笛ききながら

defune no kiteki kikinagara

I hear the steam whistle of the ship

おもいで酒に酔うばかり

omoide zake ni you bakari

as [I] get drunk on sake and memories

Perhaps the speaker is still drinking, but at least this one time, she seems to be pouring her heart into a letter.

Really, most of the lines here are self explanatory, but that changed line makes it feel more like a farewell, as if the person the speaker longs for is about to leave her, or go some place far from her reach.

Almost as if the beloved person just... you know.

---

Third and final stanza before the last chorus:

いつかは忘れる人なのに

itsuka wa wasureru hito nanoni

Even if they're someone [I'll] forget one day

飲めば未練がまたつのる

nomeba miren ga mata tsunoru

When I drink, memories [of that person] will surface once again

It seems like the speaker has somehow managed to get over their problem... until they drink again. She's back to drinking. A relapse. Except this time, now there's an extra layer of heartbreak and longing.

Personally speaking, I don't really think about someone unless they're someone I wish I never met, or if it's a loved one who's... fallen. I think people don't really think about others until something bad happens. Either way, that relationship from earlier seems to have crumbled and is now only a memento for life (which the speaker may or may not choose to remember).

---

The final chorus with this line changed to:

あの人どうしているかしら

ano hito doushiteiru kashira

How is that person faring?

くらしも荒れたこのごろは

kurashi mo areta kono goro moNeglecting [my] life these days,

おもいで酒に酔うばかり

omoide zake ni you bakari

[I am] drunk in nothing but sake and memories

Back to square one, but it's reached a point where she just doesn't really care about her life or current state anymore, and the only seeming comfort is her initial solution: to drink and lose herself in long gone days and sake.

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Well, all of this is just a what-if analysis so it may not even apply to canon.

Also, I just noticed the beginning of the song just sounds very North Star. Starlo-ish. Hehe.

Time to write a fic involving this song.

Edit 2:

Just realized this song applies to Chujin as well

#undertale yellow #ceroba ketsukane #thoughts #song analysis #// I still think they're friends but that's what fics are for #// don't let that stop anyone from shipping tho

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renee-writer · 20 days

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I found myself trying to hold back big tears as I was reading and really thinking about Mary recently.

Mary witnessed much of the horrific abuse her son endured that Friday.

Things no mother should ever have to even imagine, let alone witness.

Powerless and helpless, what could she do?

I imagine her running after him, easily willing to give her life to protect the man she held as a baby boy. The one who had her heart.

I imagine those with her holding her back as she sobbed, reminding her she could do absolutely nothing to protect her son.

She followed Jesus and the crowd up the hill to where He was nailed to a cross.

John 19:30 says, “When Jesus saw his mother there, and the disciples whom he loved standing nearby, he said to his mother, “Dear woman, here is your son,” and to the disciple, “here is your mother”. From that time on, this disciple took her into his home.”

This is where I could no longer hold the tears in.

Because typically when I think about this story, my heart aches for Mary.

But when I read this, I saw Jesus, the man, as an actual son.

Who loved his mom.

Who, even though he was hung on a cross in the type of pain and agony we can not imagine…

He wanted to leave knowing she was taken care of.

He didn’t look around and make sure everyone else had someone to look after them- in that moment- it was his mom He was worried about.

I think this touched me so much, because sometimes I forget how human Jesus was, you know?

A baby who was held and nursed by her, a boy who was nurtured by her, and now a man who knew the love and comfort of His mom..

He had to say goodbye to her, and even as He was dying, He saw her. I can only imagine the heartache of our real-human-Jesus.

Perhaps you are watching a parent, or child, or someone you love suffer.

I just want to remind you.. you with the broken heart, you carrying the heavy burdens, you who feels broken..

This is Jesus. Fully human. Fully understanding of our emotions because He actually experienced them.

He’s also fully God. So when He meets you in your sorrow, He can do what other people can’t.

I just wanted you to know that He isn’t “too divine” to understand what you’re going through.

He’s not out of touch with our experiences.

Just look at how He loved His mom.

~Kelli Bachara

#via facebook #the unraveling blog

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moon-witchs-world · 9 months

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Growing Pains - Remus J. Lupin part nine

Growing Pains - part nine

A Hogwarts tale

Remus Lupin x Fem!Witchreader

1,5k words

This is part nine of a multipart series. You can find part eight here

Masterlist

A/n: hey lovelies! Thank you so much for reading this series of mine. I enjoy writing this so much and always look forward to hear what you think. Leave me a comment or reblog, it makes my day!

You had no idea why you had said agreed when Sybill Trelawney asked you to come to her office to drink tea after supper. You should have known she would lure you in with the promise of tea and then take the opportunity to tell you all about your future. You never took Divination when you were in Hogwarts, it seemed like a silly subject, nothing serious and definitely not something you would need for the job that you envisioned for yourself.

But right now there was not really anything you could do to stop her from telling you things you didn't even believe in. You sat opposite Sybill, tea cup in hand and she was staring at you with her big, magnified eyes just waiting for you to finish the tea. As soon as you did, she grabbed the cup from your hands and placed it upside down on the saucer. She mumbled a few words, waited for a bit and then took the cup into her hands. She studied the contents of the cup for what seemed like hours, while she hummed and raised her eyebrows in surprise from time to time.

‘Well, well. This is an interesting cup, very interesting indeed,’ she said finally. You nodded in response, not sure what to say.

‘It’s a wolf,’ Sybill said matter-of-factly before turning the cup your way so you could see it for yourself. Even with a lot of imagination, you found it hard to see what the Divination professor was seeing. In your untrained eyes all the residue of the tea leaves looked the same. Like tea leaves.

‘I’m not sure…’ you started to say, but Sybill quickly took the cup back and started talking over you.

'Definitely a wolf. It’s a positive omen, my dear. It means overcoming enemies and misfortune or sorrow in life,’ she said while nodding.

‘And since it’s placed in the middle, it also means you’re helping others with their concerns. Making others feel at ease. Apparently you provide much comfort,’ she continued.

For a moment you were speechless. You did not believe in this kind of stuff. But this was very fitting. A wolf? Seriously? You stared into Sybill’s eyes as if you were trying to figure out if she was playing a trick on you. She must have seen you and Remus together and thought this was what you wanted to hear. There was no way this was legit. You were even a bit embarrassed you were so quick to believe it.

‘Well, thank you for the tea, Sybill. But I should go. I have quite some essays to grade,’ you said while hoping it wasn’t too obvious you wanted to get out of her office as quickly as possible.

‘Of course, dear. Take some time to think it over and if you need more advice, let me know,’ she said with a big smile. You thanked her again, not really sure what for and then left. It was weird but while you walked away, all you could think about was how hard Remus would laugh if you told him about this.

You walked to the staffroom. You always preferred to work in the library, but you feared you would run into Remus if you went there. Ever since your argument last night you hadn’t seen him. It hurt your heart to not talk to him, but in a twisted way it made sense. He had to realize he had to take care of himself and if you were preventing him from doing just that, it was better to keep your distance.

When you entered the staff room, you saw Minerva sitting in one of the chairs in front of the fire, reading a book. You quickly walked towards her and sat down in the chair next to her. As soon as she noticed you, Minerva slammed her book shut and looked at you with a cheeky smile.

‘I’ve heard you’ve been busy,’ she said. You looked at her with surprise in your eyes.

‘Not particularly, I only had two classes to teach today and then after dinner I went to drink a cup of tea with Sybill but it was an ambush and she insisted on reading my tea leaves and..’ you stopped talking when you saw Minerva shaking her head.

‘That’s not what I meant. Severus told me he saw you and Remus kiss,’ she said with a giggle. It was so weird to see Minerva this girly and giggly about something and you involuntarily smiled as well.

‘Severus is a creep. He sat in the dark in the Defence classroom waiting for Remus. We didn’t see him when we got in and..’ you didn’t finish your sentence, suddenly embarrassed.

‘Because you were obviously busy. I’m so happy for the two of you,’ Minerva answered. You just stared at the fire, hoping that she would change the subject but of course she didn’t.

‘Why do I get a feeling you’re not happy?’ she said after a short silence. You sighed and quickly explained what happened between you and Remus last night after Severus had left. You didn’t even hesitate. It felt good to talk about it to someone else and it had been bothering you the entire day. When you finished, Minerva looked at you with a frown between her brows.

‘So after finally admitting your feelings to one another you get into a fight because Remus tells you you make him feel better than ever?’

You quickly shook your head.

‘No, you don’t understand, Minnie. He’s being irresponsible. He needs to take his potion and I can’t be the one who prevents him from doing so. No, not even if he says I make him feel better than ever,’ you snapped back. She was acting like it was just that simple.

‘You’re scared. This is a commitment. What if he hurts you? What if you hurt him? But that’s the thing with love, my dear Y/N. It’s all about taking risks. And right now you’re not even giving it a fair chance. You’re just making up all of these different reasons why it won’t work out. That’s not exactly brave.’ For a while you just sat there. Minerva’s words weren’t nice to hear, but you knew they were true. In an attempt to protect yourself and Remus from getting hurt, you hurt the both of you.

‘Well, I’m a true Ravenclaw, I guess. Head full of knowledge but no courage to be found,’ you mumbled more to yourself than to anyone else.

‘Luckily one of you is a Gryffindor,’ Minerva said with a smile, after which she pointed to the door. Remus Lupin had just entered the staff room. As soon as you caught his eye, you looked away. This didn’t stop him from coming over to where you were sitting.

‘Y/N. Hey. I went to the library first and when you weren’t there I hoped to find you here. Can we talk?’ he quickly said. He was even brave enough to softly touch your arm, a true Gryffindor indeed.

‘Remus. Just the person we wanted to see. Can you hand over your watch please?’ Minerva said sternly before you could respond. And because it’s the only right thing to do when Minerva McGonnagal tells you to do something, Remus obeyed. Minerva took the watch from him and then handed it over to you.

‘See, Y/N is going to put an enchantment on your watch so it reminds you every night to take your potion. That way you won’t be able to forget,’ Minerva explained. You looked at her in surprise. Of course. This was so simple yet so effective. Somehow she had just come up with the perfect solution. You smiled and then grabbed your wand. It was a simple spell and you were done in the blink of an eye.

‘It will start ringing every night at eight and it won’t stop until you complete your task,’ you said after you were done. Remus gave you a smile.

‘Then I won’t postpone the task for too long, the ringing will probably get on my nerves,’ he answered.

‘Yeah, that’s the idea,’ you answered and you helped him put the watch back on.

‘Thank you, love,’ Remus said and then he grabbed your hand.

‘Do you want to go for a walk? I haven’t seen you all day,’ he then said and you nodded. You said goodbye to Minerva and then left the staff room with Remus.

And just like that, everything seemed perfectly normal again. Aside from the fact that you were now walking hand in hand with the Defence professor trying to stay calm but wanting nothing more than to kiss him again. And again. Oh how you hoped you would get to kiss him again soon.

To be continued…

tags: @turvi @carlito55ainzbae @spidermansolosurfav

#remus lupin x reader insert #remus lupin x fem!reader #remus lupin x reader #remus lupin x you #remus lupin x y/n #remus lupin #remus john lupin #remus lupin series #growing pains part nine

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