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#ror thor
deathmetalunicorn1 · 3 days
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HI ITS ME THE ANON THAT ASKED FOR HUMAN READER RASING THOR AND LOKI! it was awesome and i was wondering if we could get another part with odin thor and loki being in the side of humanity during ragnorak. Pleas and thank you!
-It had been so many years since you rescued your adopted sons, rescuing them from a Frost Giant, before Odin found you with his children.
-They were no longer babies, no longer children, they were adults now, powerful warriors, but to you, they would always be your babies, and they knew it.
-Loki was more open with his affections, calling out happily to you as he hugged you, enjoying your affections as you greeted him. Thor was more reserved for behind closed doors, but he was very protective of you, he wouldn’t hesitate to throw hands with anyone if they disrespected you.
-Odin, your now husband, was much like Thor, preferring things to be behind closed doors, but occasionally he will hold your hand in public.
-All three of them were fiercely protective of you, as you were a human while they were all gods; they knew you weren’t weak by any means, you were a warrior in your own right, and all three knew not to cross you, not wanting to incur your wrath, which was you usually pulling off your shoe or grabbing a broom, but they knew you could be dangerous if you wanted to be.
-You doted on all three of your boys, pampering them with affection, always making sure they were fed, and being there for them if they needed you.
-Odin wouldn’t allow Ragnarok to go any further, as you were a human, he wasn’t risking you, even when Zeus offered to make sure you would be spared if humanity were to fall.
-Zeus arranged the tournament anyway, despite the 3 Norse gods voicing their displeasure with it, and Zeus just joked, “If you don’t like it, then fight for humanity yourselves!”
-Zeus was not laughing when Brunnhilde presented her roster, with all three of them on the list, fully ready to defend humanity, as they knew that not all humans were bad, just like not all gods were good.
-Faced with the prospect of facing Odin or Thor himself, Zeus was quick to call off the tournament, calling an emergency meeting to get everything fixed.
-When they arrived home that night, Loki flew over to you, “Mama~” you giggled softly, hugging him back, “I was wondering where you three were today.”
-They all froze, looking a bit panicked, as they didn’t tell you about the tournament, not wanting you to worry, but Loki just rubbed his cheek against yours, “Just had a lot of meetings with the other gods today.”
-You patted his cheek softly, “Well then it’s a good thing I made plenty for dinner since you all worked so hard!” You saw Thor smile softly as Loki cheered before Odin came over, bending to peck your cheek in greeting.
-He froze when you grabbed his beard, holding him there while your eyes blazed into his own. You knew.
-All three froze, looking at you with fear in their eyes as you smiled sweetly as Huginn and Muninn were quick to move from Odin’s shoulders to the rafters as you reached down to pull off a shoe, giving the three about a 5 second head start.
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kanroji-san · 1 day
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Kanae!Y/n/Reader AU
Kanae!Y/n: *Taking Thor’s pulse* Your pulse is pretty fast, are you alright?
Thor: Yeah, sorry, let me just relax a bit.
Kanae!Y/n: It’s alright, just take a deep breath for me honey, you’ll be fine.
Thor: *flustered* …
Kanae!Y/n: Eh? Why is your heart rate increasing?
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I can't-She is so pretty
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coffeecubes · 11 months
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"𝐝𝐨𝐧'𝐭 𝐝𝐨𝐝𝐠𝐞 𝐦𝐲 𝐤𝐢𝐬𝐬!"
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𝗵𝗰𝘀 + 𝘀𝗰𝗲𝗻𝗮𝗿𝗶𝗼: 𝗱𝗼𝗱𝗴𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗶𝗿 𝗸𝗶𝘀𝘀𝗲𝘀 𝗮𝘀 𝗮 𝗽𝗿𝗮𝗻𝗸? 𝗦𝘂𝗿𝗲𝗹𝘆… 𝗻𝗼𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘄𝗶𝗹𝗹 𝗴𝗼 𝘄𝗿𝗼𝗻𝗴… 𝗿𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁?
✩ 𝗳𝗹𝘂𝗳𝗳 | 𝗵𝗮𝗱𝗲𝘀, 𝘁𝗵𝗼𝗿, 𝗽𝗼𝘀𝗲𝗶𝗱𝗼𝗻, 𝗯𝘂𝗱𝗱𝗵𝗮, 𝗾𝗶𝗻 𝘀𝗵𝗶 𝗵𝘂𝗮𝗻𝗴 𝘅 𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗱𝗲𝗿
✩ 𝗿𝗲𝗾𝘂𝗲𝘀𝘁𝘀 𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝗰𝘂𝗿𝗿𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗹𝘆 𝗰𝗹𝗼𝘀𝗲𝗱 𝗯𝘂𝘁 𝘄𝗶𝗹𝗹 𝗼𝗽𝗲𝗻 𝗶𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗳𝘂𝘁𝘂𝗿𝗲
✩ 𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀: 𝗻𝗼𝗻𝗲! 𝗘𝗻𝗷𝗼𝘆 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗳𝗹𝘂𝗳𝗳𝗶𝗻𝗲𝘀𝘀! 𝗠𝘆 𝗤𝘂𝗼𝘁𝗲𝘃 𝗮𝗰𝗰𝗼𝘂𝗻𝘁 𝘄𝗶𝗹𝗹 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝗮𝗹𝗹 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘆𝗮𝗻𝗱𝗲𝗿𝗲 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝘂𝗻𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴𝗲𝗱 𝘀𝘁𝘂𝗳𝗳
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𝐇𝐀𝐃𝐄𝐒
Imagine his confusion when you dodge his kiss
A bit hurt but tries to kiss you again
You dodge him once again, making his face turn to horror as if Poseidon had said he was the worst older brother ever to his face
Hades, who had fallen in love with you, was always a gentleman. The first time he saw you, he knew that you were going to be his wife. He treated you as his equal, his woman, and his queen all at once. He was gentle, patient, loving, and so protective of you, making sure to respect you as who you are. He was one of the few gods who physically showed how much he loved and cherished you, which was rare in the divine. 
He introduced things to you slowly, making sure to go at your pace since he didn’t want to hurt or scare you away. Showing affection and kisses in small moments was one thing that he adored, since it showed connection and strong desire for one another.
There was a trend going on lately where lovers would dodge each other’s kisses as a prank, and you thought it would be funny to try it on your husband, who was so heavenly in love with you. It was just a small teasing but your heart absolutely shattered when you saw his face fall.
“Love?” Hades tilted his head, his strong arms coming to grasp your waist once you dodged again. 
Hades didn’t think this was funny at all as he pulled you onto his lap. He turned you over so you were facing him before he placed his head above your chest.
“Did I do something wrong?” he pouted, his handsome face turning sadder in each second and you couldn’t take it anymore.
“No! It was just a prank, that’s all!” you explained everything to him and suddenly it all made sense.
“Well… shall I try again?” Hades’ mood brightened up as he attempted to kiss you once more, and you happily obliged.
Now, he’s carrying you to his bedroom where he’s going to punish you for teasing him 😉
Poseidon later came to visit his brother and his sister-in-law until he heard the noise coming from the bedroom and he left
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𝐓𝐇𝐎𝐑
He leans in to give you a kiss but you dodged, making him kiss nothing but air
He stills for a few moments before he opens his eyes with confusion and he whips around to see you resuming to your own routines
You felt extremely bad as you felt his eyes upon your figure, as the thunder god wonders if you are mad at him
The thunder god never showed any sort of affection or emotion to anyone, so imagine the shock of the entire heavens when rumours had it that he had fallen in love with you. He wasn’t social and didn’t have many friends despite how powerful he was but the moment you came into his life, it brought another side out of him. He wanted nothing but to spend his immortal life with you, enjoying the sweet comforts of your presence, listening to your stories, and relishing your touches, kisses and love.
Affection was something he never knew he lacked in his life until he met you, and your small kisses were one of the very things that always made his busy day better. He was extremely occupied these days with his duties so he didn’t get to spend much time with you, making him wonder if you were pissed at him. 
You were already regretting your actions and you should never have listened to Loki’s stupid prank. Thor was good to you but that dumb trickster had decided it would be funny to see his cousin’s reaction to his wife not wanting to kiss him. 
“My sweet…” Thor’s voice echoed down the corridors, as you scurried away from him.
His loud footsteps followed your smaller form, as guilt began to bottle you up. You can feel the hurt and sadness radiating off of his body and it got worse when he grabbed your arm gently to stop you.
“Are you mad at me?” the god asked as you refused to answer to keep Loki’s prank going.
You thought you could do it until he pulled you into a tight embrace, apologising to you.
“I’m sorry. Please forgive me.”
That’s it.
You whipped around and cupped his cheeks, explaining everything to him, telling him that Loki told you to do it because he wanted to see his reaction. Thor was obviously pissed at Loki and he was about to go beat him up when you grabbed his face once more and kissed him lovingly. You two made out in the halls for a little while until his bloodthirsty battle smirk came out.
He throws you over his shoulder and carries you to the private chambers, where you two will make up for all the lost time when you were apart 😍
Loki got a black eye after
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𝐏𝐎𝐒𝐄𝐈𝐃𝐎𝐍
You have a death wish if you have the audacity to dodge his kiss
He was mad, like really mad, as he grabs you by your chin and holds you in place to kiss you but you deny him by biting your lips in
He never felt anything ill towards you but for the first time, there was this bitter and hurt feeling that boiled up in his chest as his cold eyes glared into your own
It was an understatement that Poseidon was a terrifying god. Of all the divine, he had the most power, authority, and presence of all the gods and he was ruthless in his approach. He looked down on others and even deemed them as filth if they didn't reach his standards. He doesn’t talk to the lowly and his emotions seem non-existent.
Until he met you.
When you first transferred to his castle to work for him, he felt as if cupid’s arrow had cruelly decided to pierce him and for the first time, this god wanted someone. He wanted someone to stand by his side, someone to rule with, and someone to love. 
Poseidon was cruel to everyone in his fortress but when it came to you, he tried to soften up and treat you less harshly. He was still critical and blunt, but you soon realised that he was giving you advice and helping you improve. Pretty soon, you two were together and now married. He would also show gentle gestures such as caressing your cheeks, holding your hand, and embracing you to show others who had their eyes on you that you belonged to him - and him ALONE. 
When you two were alone, Poseidon showed a side to you that you didn’t think he had as he treated you and your body with such grace and gentleness. He was rough in bed as well but it felt as if he was telling you that you were his everything, his precious goddess who stole his heart.
And now, Poseidon was on thin ice with you as he slammed the door shut and placed his hand above your head, trapping you beneath his large body. 
“What’s going on?” he sneered at you, “you don’t want me anymore?”
You were going to kill Aphrodite later for blackmailing you into this.
“Poseidon, no! I do want you!” you told him truthfully, “it’s just that Aphrodite…”
The moment you said that lustful goddess’ name made Poseidon’s face darken. He huffed angrily and brushed his blond hair, feeling his anger snap. You were a nervous wreck as you tried to walk past him until he took you by the chin and slammed his lips into yours. You kissed him back and sooner or later, he was on top of you in bed, making sure that you gave him the kisses he deserved. 
You two had fun that night, Poseidon made sure you were sore the next day 😈
Aphrodite was banned from talking to you ever again
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𝐁𝐔𝐃𝐃𝐇𝐀
Imagine the shock pikachu face as you dodge his kiss, his jaw dropping to the ground like a heavy stone
His lollipop fell from his mouth and you try not to snicker as you walked passed him
Not a single word was spoken out either, while the feeling of being heartbroken stabbed him like a blade
Buddha was a god that took no shits from anyone. He was true to himself, he was enlightened, and he was proud to guide others into a path where they could also achieve enlightenment. That’s why he became so fond of you.
He adored and fell in love with you because you gave no shits to anyone. You didn’t let the hardships and suffering of the things around you bring you down, instead you found new ways to conquer them and achieve happiness. Buddha adored and loved being by your side. He particularly loved cuddling with you on top of hills, munching on little snacks and tears, while being lovey dovey with each other. 
Buddha was always a tease to you because he loved seeing how flustered and shy you get, your facial impressions were one of the top things he enjoyed. But recently, he seemed to be getting over your boundaries with his teasing. You’re usually fine with his teasing but this time, Buddha just won’t leave it alone. Usually he would drop it and apologise afterwards, even kissing and caressing your figure, but this time, he was persistent.
So of course, you decided to get back at the enlightened one, turning your head away and walking away from him. Buddha’s jaw dropped to the ground in shock as he whipped around, seeing your figure walk away.
He, of course, went after you.
“(Name)... my love?” he questioned, pouncing on you.
His legs were wrapped around your waist with his hands hugging your chest, as he cling to you like a koala. Because of his heavier weight, you tumbled to the ground, with him straddling on top of your waist. He tried to kiss you once more, but you dodged, making him quirk an eyebrow as he was getting more and more frustrated.
You were trying to keep on this facade until a lightbulb appeared in Buddha’s mind. You were beginning to crawl away from him when he grabbed you by the leg and pulled you back, proceeding to tickle you mercilessly. 
You shrieked and wheezed, laughing your core out while Buddha teasingly leaned into your ear.
“Do you not love me anymore?!” Buddha cried out, biting your ear as you continued to laugh.
His figure was heavier so he practically had you in his grip, as you laughed and tried to fight his hands off.
“Buddha, no-!” you shrieked at his towering figure, “I was playing a small prank-! I love you!”
“If you love me then don’t dodge my kiss! You’re breaking this gentleman’s heart, you know?” he soon stopped and engulfed your breathless body, nuzzling against your hair in a loving way.
You two soon made up until you yelped when he spanked your ass.
He then carried you like a baby to an area that’s more private to have some sexy time together
Let’s just say you both gained more than enlightenment on that night
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𝐐𝐈𝐍 𝐒𝐇𝐈 𝐇𝐔𝐀𝐍𝐆
This handsome king would just keep on asking for kisses, but you would continuously deny him
No one would deny the emperor of China but you took your chances to prank him since he always had a sweet spot for you
The first time you did it, he felt as if you bitch slapped him as he stared at you in shock, before he followed you everywhere, asking for kisses again and again
Qin Shi Huang was the greatest emperor of China, a title that was on par with his strength. He was confident, bold, and never backed down against an enemy or someone that threatened his country and people. 
He met you one night when he was ill with a cold. You were a healer from a small village but you were extremely talented and knowledgeable, so his advisors went to fetch you right away. When you arrived, the emperor was breathless when he saw your appearance, as you treated and tended him tenderly.
“Who are you? I’ve never seen you before.” were the first things he told you.
“I’m a healer.” you told him simply, telling him the village you were from.
After that night, Qin realised that you were intelligent, beautiful, compassionate and he declared proudly that you were his official doctor. He recovered quickly and soon, the emperor was absolutely in love and enamoured with you. 
As a husband, Qin was much more charismatic, playful, and teasing in a cute way, unlike his usual serious self when he was taking care of the country. He loved to kiss you, cherish you, and shower you with his attention and touches. Speaking of touches, this man absolutely cannot get his hands OFF you. He was obsessed with touching you, making sure that you were still here by his side since he had a terrible past. He didn’t want to lose you, holding you tight every night in his arms when you two slept, and making sure that the guards and bodyguards were keeping you safe when he was busy - though he tends to guard and protect you now. 
You always responded to his touches and affectionate gestures but since he was always a tease, you wanted to have some payback.
“LOVE!!!” Qin exclaimed, following you and trying to kiss you constantly, “come back!”
“I caught you!” he sang and you squealed as he embraced you and lifted you up happily.
His hands rested on your waist and his lips pursed, leaning forwards to kiss you once more, when you dodged again, leaving him more perplexed than ever. 
“Eh?” his eyebrows raised and he tried once more, but you dodged, “my queen, are you upset? Please don’t be… I just want to kiss and love you.”
He continues to pester and whine, placing butterfly kisses along your neck and arms until you give up and finally kiss him.
Since you denied this emperor, he was going to give you the spanking of your life in his bedroom 
And you gave him some treatments too- 😏
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Additional stories:
✩ Infatuation (yandere!gods x reader)
✩ Little Darling (yandere!thor x reader)
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bones4thecats · 4 months
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Adopting Their Fallen Enemy's Child (PT.1) ~ RoR/SnV x Child! Reader
Type of Writing: Poll Result Characters: Thor, Shiva, & Child! Reader Name: Adopting Their Fallen Enemy's Child (PT.1) Original Poll Link: Here Other Parts: (PT.2)
A/N: I actually really liked this idea on the poll I made, and I hope it turned out as good as I imagined it! Enjoy!!
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🌩️ Your father was the Lü Bu, the Flying General himself, and when you heard from the Valkyrie named Brunhilde that he was set to fight in the first match of Ragnarok, you gave him the best support he could’ve asked for
🌩️ You sat alongside his army, with his strategist, Chen Gong, sitting next to you, trying to keep you from jumping down and attacking the God of Thunder yourself
🌩️ When Chen Gong and the others sacrificed themselves, stating their loyalty to you father, you stood there in shock and tear-filled eyes as Thor looked at you, seeing a child without anyone left
🌩️ He felt guilty, but this was what they wanted, they wanted to join their lord, and while he initially wanted to just leave the area, he walked up to you and shocked the Gods and Humans as he kneeled down and hugged you
🌩️ After that day, you stayed by Thor’s side, he reminded you so much of your father it would make you cry
🌩️ Thor may not be the best person when it comes to comforting, but he tries his best when it comes to you, Lü Bu was the one person who could stand a fight against him, and because of this, he would try training you to be just as strong as your father and him
🌩️ He honors your father with you. Every day on his birthday, and on the days of each of his soldiers, including Chen Gong, you would walk into a field in the forest located in the Chinese section of Valhalla, you would both hand off flowers and lay them on the graves you and him had made
🌩️ The words he said to you when he comforted you that day are words that you will never forget
“ Your father was an honorable man, I hope you know that. And because of the honor he possessed, I will take you in as my own. I believe it is something that your father would’ve wanted. “
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🪩 He believed that Raiden was the one opponent he would remember the rest of his life, and when he saw the now-deceased rikishi stare at a young child with the two Valkyries, he froze
🪩 The man was a father, just like him
🪩 But while his child could handle loss of someone easily, you appeared to be around a young teen, this must’ve been one of the hardest things you ever had to witness
🪩 Shiva looked at you and back at the crumbling Raiden Tameemon, guilt filled his heart, which was something he hadn’t felt for such a long time, why did he feel guilty? He just won and brought honor to his pantheon!
🪩 Watching as you ran down and tried hugging the remaining pieces of your father just got him staring back at his wives and son, and when he saw how saddened their eyes were then they looked at you
🪩 The God of Destruction walked up to you and you jumped back when his one arm reached out to you, and that action made the Humans cry out for him to not hurt you
🪩 He kneeled down and since he was just on fire, the heat that radiated off of him made you hold your head away from him
“ Look at me, young one. “
🪩 You looked up at him and saw how his eyes shimmered with guilt, making you look at where your father once stood and back at the man who caused his demise
🪩 Shiva held is one arm back as you tried helping him stay standing when he slumped over in pain, after all, losing three arms doesn't exactly make anyone, including Gods, feel very good
🪩 Once you came to visit him with his wives and son, he saw how you carried yourself around him, not with resentment or fear, but with care and gentleness, making him smile
🪩 Whenever he rested, you laid next to him, you were like another child of his, and when he offered to take care of you in the Hindu Pantheon, it made you jump up and down and hug him and his wives as they agreed to taking you in as their own
“ Your father was one of the best fighters I have ever met in my thousands of years of life. And… seeing you look so painfully at where your father once stood, I just, I knew you had to have someone there for you. Would you do me, and my wives, the honor of joining our family? ”
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thewritetofreespeech · 10 months
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Hey! Happy to see requests again!
Could I request headcanons of Thor, Poseidon, and Hades getting a lap pillow from their beloved wife?
RoR men + using their wife's lap as a pillow
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Says he doesn’t like it, but actually he does
Being able to set the hammer down, and lay in his wife’s lap, looking up at the endless sky of Asgard is comforting.
It’s the only way he can truly relax anymore.
Able to fall asleep as his wife combs her fingers through his hair.
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He hates it.
It’s undignified, childish, and a waste of time. But, his wife likes it when he does it so he plays along.
Humoring her only on occasion, it is one of the few times he openly talkative as Poseidon would rather fill the space with something that just lay there.
He suspects that’s why she asks to do it.
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Initiator for this event, to the point that he’ll even go find his wife and make her sit down to do it.
Hades’s loves it.
Being pampered and caressed by his wife. Looking up at her (and her bosom) while they ‘sit’ together is a wonderful thing.
Preferred spot to do it is the gardens, although he will settle for really any flat surface area.
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telvess · 5 months
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RoR: How they sleep with their s/o (headcanons) 🔞
Jack
Jack likes when you’re strapped to his arm at night. He has a habit of reading a bit of Shakespeare before bed, so being close enough to him that he can smell your shampoo is actually one of his favourite moments of the day.
When the reading time is over, Jack prefers to lie face to face with you and hold hands. Of course, he doesn't mind any other position where he can observe you.
Yeah, Jack is a little creepy because he likes to watch you sleep. He admires your beauty and hearing your calm breathing makes him happy because he never expected to have someone who felt so safe around him.
Since he's the last one to fall asleep, you'll probably wake up first. Jack doesn't mind if you wake him up with kisses.
Poseidon
Poseidon allows you hug him. Feel grateful. He ONLY does it because you’re such a crybaby and he is tired of your big teary eyes you constantly make. He thinks that hugging is useless and doesn’t provide anything, but just for your sake he can get through this…
STFU, POSEIDON. You love cuddling.
He holds you in a tight hug, with his hand on your back and your head on his chest. He likes to feel your warm breath on his skin, but - once again - he would never admit it.
Poseidon has a cold body, so you can use it as an additional reason to cuddle.
Beelzebub
Beelzebub will go to bed the moment he hears you taking a shower before sleep. He doesn’t care if he has something to do. He doesn’t want to miss the opportunity for a cuddle.
Beelzebub is a small spoon. You hold him from behind with your arm around his waist and your forehead resting against his back - he just feels wanted and that feeling kills him.
That being said, he would never ask you for a cuddle, but if you don’t initiate, he gives you that inpatient look over a shoulder. Don’t act dumb.
Beelzebub likes to listens your calm breathing. For him it's the best lullaby. Knowing that someone shares something as trivial as sleeping in the same bed with him is amazing to him.
Thor
He is a living radiator, so you probably don’t need a blanket.
Thor isn’t into cuddling, but isn’t against it either. Definitely wouldn’t say no to you. The important thing to mention is that Thor thinks cuddling is a good introduction to sex.
He prefers to lie on his back and have you on his chest. Considering how big Thor is, you'll feel so small when his arms wrap around you. He likes to touch your thighs and buttocks and kiss your forehead, so if you decide to return the favour and caress his face or muscular chest… you definitely won't fall asleep quickly.
Buddha
That guy is such a mess.
He will elbow and knee you in his sleep. I don’t think rolling him over would give you any good result. He is a heavy sleeper, so he'll probably return to his previous position in a moment.
Maybe he'll calm down a bit if you kick him. But please, play dumb when he wakes up in the morning and ask you where he got that bruise.
Apart from the disadvantages of sleeping with him, Buddha is really cute when it comes to cuddling. He treats you like his personal pillow, wrapping his legs and arms around you, resting his head on your shoulder.
You have to feed him in that position.
Loki
Sleeping with Loki is like sleeping with dozen cats.
Once you announce you’re tired and close your eyes, Loki’s intrusive thoughts will win. He will blow in your face and when you shout at him he will pretend to sleep.
Go on, roll over. How naive of you… Loki will start pinching your ass. Or steal a blanket just for himself. Or tickle you. Anything to keep you awake.
Yes, at this point you know that shouting at him only encourages him. You have to tire him out. And at this time of day, there's only one thing you can do to achieve it. Have fun.
Hades
How comfortable his muscular arms are around you…
Hades just gives these big protection vibes, so there’s no way he wouldn’t be a big spoon. He wants to hold you close, bury his nose in your hair and gives you few kisses here and there.
He can't sleep alone anymore since you two shared a bed together. Your company makes huge difference to him. He likes talk to you before sleep, whispers sweet things in your ear or tells you stories.
It happens that our king talks in his sleep. Of course, in the morning he denies everything because he knows he doesn't do it.
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thequietkid-moonie · 1 year
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S/O greeting them after their fight
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[ SCENARIO ] [ Thor, Sasaki, Jack, Shiva, Buddha, Qin ]
[ Records of Ragnarok / Shuumatsu no Valkyrie ]
⚠️ This contain spoilers
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I decided not write about about Zeus, sorry if someone wanted to read it
This take me longer that i expected! Wow! Anyway, enjoy!
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Thor
He sees you waiting for him at the gods' entrance before being stoped by Lubu's army
After take care of it, he go and greet you pating you head with a sweet smile
He doesn't say much in his way to the infirmary while been followed by you, but you can tell there something diferent with him, he looks thoughtful
While his injuries were been treated he makes sure you stay by his side (the nurses don't dare ti say something about it)
After that he will tell how he would have liked to meet Lubu in other circumstances. Thor doesn't say much, but he keeps that soft expresion and smile, that human truly surprised him
After that you two stay together to see the rest of the fights, now seen the humans in a diferent way, with more respect
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Sasaki Kyojiro
He was injured and bleeding, but he was smiling
After greeting you Sasaki practically fall in your arms, he doesn't have more energy, you and Hrist have to guide him to the to the infirmary to be treated
On your way he can't stop smiling and giggling, telling you how much fun he had in the fight
Both Hrist and you will congratulate him and scold him for worring you so much
After his wounds were treated you'll stay with him to make sure he rest, in the meantime he will tell you about his experience in the fight and how happy he is for his first victory
If you still worried about him and his injuries he will reassure you that he's fine, it doesn't hurt anymore.
After that you stay by his side, and with the others to see the rest of the fights. Sasaki offer you (and to Hrist too) to explain things you may not understand about the fighting techniques
When they go to help Buddha (when he meet the Gods of Fortune) he probably do it behind your back so you won't try to stop him he's too stubborn anyways
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Jack the Ripper
He was injured, bleeding and people were throwing things at him and yet he walked calmly and elegantly. When he notice you in the humans' entrance he greet you with a soft smile.
In your way to the infirmary he didn't say much and he looks very thoughtful. If you offer your help he will try to denied but at the end he acepted
You wait until his wounds are treated to talk to him
When you ask him about the fight and how he feels he will tell you, but offer you some tea while both talk
This become a long talk about what happen and the colors he saw in Heracles
Its notorious that this affected him but in a good way, Jack himself expresed that he's happy to had the oportunity to met him
After his wounds were treated both of you ended up going where Hlokk she wasn't happy to see Jack but she don't force you to go away
Hlook offer you a sit and she start making a convesetion with you, that ended being she complaining about Jack, she even ask you why you are with him, to which Jack just laughed
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Shiva
When he sees you at the gods' entrance he greeting you with a proud smile, as much as he would love to embrace you Shiva makes sure to keep distance (he was in fire a moment ago after all)
In his way to the infirmary he doesn't stop talking to you, asking you if you saw him fight and what did you think
While his wounds are treated you probably have to wait outsite the infirmary, but after you'll stay by his side, sitting in a comfy sofa beside him (along side with his other wifes)
Both of you will have a long chat about the fight, he had to wait long to finally fight and got excited, now he can't stop talking about it
And, for sure, Shiva will tell you how great fighter Raiden was and how he gave his best until the end
He even mentioned how he heared all your voices cheering him and that help him continue and, of course, will tease you for that
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Buddha
When Buddha greet you he see how worried you was for him, he embrace you and give you a soft kiss in the forehead. On his way to the infirmary he keeps a soft smile.
His wounds were treated pretty quickly. If you were with him when he left the infirmary (with the excuse that he was bored) he just tell you to follow him, if you ask him where you're going he won't tell you. But if you weren't there he won't tell you, for sure you'll know where to find him
If you scold him for leaving the infirmary he will just laugh and tell you not to worry about it, he is fine!
He promise to take proper rest only if you stay with him, both of you ended up cuddling and eating candies
Buddha will talk about the fight just if ask, you can notice how this truly affect him, but in the end he is happy for Zerofuku (i mean he ended happy again). If you say something about how he changed to humans side he will laugh at it, to him is funny to remember it (especially the gods' reaction)
If you seem afected for this too he will reassure you that everything is fine don't worry your pretty head
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Qin Shi Huang
He sees you for afar in the humans' entrance and smile at you brightly
He was helping Alvitr stand when Qin himself falls to the ground
Alvitr inmediatly start screaming for help and you run to their side, helping her carried Qin. Don't take much for the nurses to came and carry him to the infirmary while you help Alvitr
Since they were serious injured you have to wait outsite the infirmary while they are treated
Being that his condition is so delicate you will have to wait outside the infirmary. Brunhilde reassure you that he and Alvitr will be fine, thanks to the medicine of the Gods
Once he wake up one of the first things in his mind is you, he wants to see you. When you greet him Qin call you name with a big smile and a cheerful voice, he is acting as if he didn't just wake up after putting his life in risk, you'll have to make him stay still, remember him that he need to rest!
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lilys0evil0twin · 1 year
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How would Poseidon and Thor react if their darling was their opponent's Valkyrie?
~ cherrycakeintensifiques
Uuuuuuhhhhh love it, love everything about it
The drama, the DRAMAAAA
Thor
Thor was... Unimpressed, as per to say, when he saw his opponent enter the arena
Such a grandiose entrance and for what, a mare human
This fight, why did he agreed to it? it'll just be as boring as every other in his past
Maybe with the help of this human's valkyrie, Thor may find some form of entertainment in this
Wonder who'll ......
What?
What is his s/o doing here, did they come to wish him luck? How sweet of his little bunny...
.... Where are they going
Why are they?..... Are they.. his valkyrie, his....
Thor's pupils dilated, the hold on his Mjölnir tightening, he had never feel such strong hit of emotions
Rage, betrayal, hurt, disgust
How could this pathetic, disgusting human bond with his s/o, how could they throw away their life like this
Thor didn't know what to do, he wanted to let go and crush this worm, beat it till there's nothing but a splash of blood left but..... His s/o, if he kills that human his s/o will..
No, he needs to think straight, he won't allow this humiliation to proceed any longer
This round shall be canceled and after he'll need to have a serious talk with his s/o
Poseidon
This, this impudent excuse of an opponent, this "thing" was not even worth his eyes
Poseidon sighed, such an inferior beings, all of them, everywhere
But hearing the familiar tapping of feet against the stones of the arena caused him to tear his eyes from the floor and towards the sound
That gentle footwork, those light steps, he'd knew it wherever he was
His precious s/o, the only worth of his gaze stood before him..... Standing by the side of that "thing"
What was the meaning of this, how could that valkyrie make his s/o participate in this farce
That inferior, pathetic dirt even has the audacity to talk, to look at his s/o
With his eyes locked on his target his feet moved with heavy steps
The fight haven't even started, yet Poseidon already approached his supposed opponent and with a forceful hold grabbed his s/o's arm, pulling them behind his back
Pointing his trident threateningly at his opponents neck when he tried to utter a complaint
Then his bloodthirsty irises turned to Brunhilde, standing behind the audience on the human side of the colosseum
The atmosphere was thick, it was hard to breathe, Poseidon was tense
The moment was broken only when his s/o let out a small groan, their hand holding his as his grip on their wrist got tighter and tighter
Poseidon blinked releasing the pressure from his fingers
After he turned and left the arena without a word, dragging his s/o along
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deathmetalunicorn1 · 3 days
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How would the ROR cast react to watching the tv show Bluey?
-Watches every episode, eyes glued to the TV, will get very upset if you try to talk to them during the show. Do not mess with their Bluey time. Openly cries at the episodes.
            -Zerofuku, Goll, Loki, Eve, and Anubis
-Dragged to watch Bluey with the ones above, watches it with them, and while at first, they weren’t into the show, over time they grew to appreciate it and enjoy it as well, but may deny it.
            -Buddha, Brunnhilde, Hercules, Jack, Adam, Shiva, and Ares
-Saw it only in passing but stopped to watch it, mainly because there was a group watching it, and he couldn’t help but see how involved the show was. It’s very educational, but in a way that children can understand, and shows both kids’ and adults’ perspectives. If it’s on they will watch it, but then continues afterwards. May deny that he watches it.
            -Hades, Zeus, Nikola, Apollo, Kojiro, and Raiden
-Doesn’t watch it, for one reason or another. May be a secret closet fan, but nobody knows.
            -Beelzebub, Poseidon, Leonidas, Lu Bu, Thor, and Odin
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luxthestrange · 26 days
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RoR Incorrect quotes#176...Just like dadam
Adam*On waking duty, opening the curtains to wake his sons and you up* Time to wake up, The tournament awaits us... it's a beautiful morning
Cain & Abel*Both grumbling at him to let them sleep more*
Adam*Sighs and looks at you hugging your frog plushie he got you and smiling*...Y/n...will you wake up for dada?... Please?
Y/n*Eyes closed hugging your plushie and in a dark raspy voice* IN THE NAME OF LUCIFER LET US SLEEP
Adam*Sighs and nods and gets an idea that he hates*...Y/n...Thor...will be there- *Blinks seeing you jump out of bed to get first to the bathroom*...Works every time
Eve*Giggling comes with a breakfast tray for her children* Our little one has a type~...Stoic face with a good heart~...they like men like their dad~*Kisses his cheek and goes to wake her sons*
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coffeecubes · 11 months
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𝕥𝕙𝕚𝕟𝕘𝕤 𝕥𝕙𝕖𝕪 𝕕𝕠 𝕥𝕙𝕒𝕥 𝕣𝕦𝕚𝕟 𝕤𝕖𝕩
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𝙝𝙘𝙨: 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙨 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙮 𝙙𝙤 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙧𝙪𝙞𝙣 𝙨𝙚𝙭
✩ 𝙣𝙨𝙛𝙬 | 𝙩𝙝𝙤𝙧, 𝙝𝙖𝙙𝙚𝙨, 𝙥𝙤𝙨𝙚𝙞𝙙𝙤𝙣, 𝙖𝙥𝙤𝙡𝙡𝙤, 𝙗𝙪𝙙𝙙𝙝𝙖, 𝙗𝙚𝙚𝙡𝙯𝙚𝙗𝙪𝙗, 𝙝𝙚𝙧𝙖𝙘𝙡𝙚𝙨, 𝙡𝙤𝙠𝙞, 𝙦𝙞𝙣 𝙨𝙝𝙞 𝙝𝙪𝙖𝙣𝙜, 𝙣𝙞𝙠𝙤𝙡𝙖 𝙩𝙚𝙨𝙡𝙖 𝙭 𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙙𝙚𝙧
✩ 𝙧𝙚𝙦𝙪𝙚𝙨𝙩𝙨 𝙖𝙧𝙚 𝙘𝙪𝙧𝙧𝙚𝙣𝙩𝙡𝙮 𝙘𝙡𝙤𝙨𝙚𝙙 𝙗𝙪𝙩 𝙬𝙞𝙡𝙡 𝙤𝙥𝙚𝙣 𝙞𝙣 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙛𝙪𝙩𝙪𝙧𝙚
✩ 𝙬𝙖𝙧𝙣𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙨: 𝙢𝙞𝙣𝙤𝙧 𝙨𝙢𝙪𝙩
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Thor: Quiet the whole time to the point where in the middle of his thrusts, you ask him to make a noise because it feels like you’re fucking a ghost 💀💀💀
Hades: Nothing. He is ✨perfect✨
Poseidon: You ask him to talk dirty and now he’s thrusting and ranting about the random and little things you do daily that piss him off 😭😭😭
Apollo: Fucks you in front of a mirror, admiring himself, his muscles, his looks, and the way his dick is going in and out of you the whole time 💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀
Buddha: In the middle of fucking he stops and pulls out a giant bowl of snacks because he’s hungry. And no, he did not share. He wants more energy to keep going 😉
Beelzebub: Tells you you’re dry as hell and asks you why you’re not wet as if he’s expecting you to be ready for him on the get-go 🙄
Heracles: You call him “daddy” and he’s confused on what it means so now you’re both sitting up on the bed and you’re teaching him the meaning of that endearment name 🙃
Loki: Eats you out and then proceeds to ask you if pussy is supposed to taste like that since this dumbass thought it was supposed to taste like sunshine 🌤️ and rainbows 🌈
Qin Shi Huang: Moans so loud to the point the entirety of China can hear him. Also to let everyone know that you’re the only one who can make this king feel this way 😊😊😊
Nikola Tesla: Gets a phone call while in the middle of a passionate moment and he pulls out and gets dressed in order to see the next spectacular scientific alien 😤😤😤
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Additional stories:
✩ Infatuation (yandere!gods x reader)
✩ Little Darling (yandere!thor x reader)
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palesublimeduck · 6 months
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✨️ Or Buddha & Sasaki when they let their hair down :
And Loki or Qin when you give them a wig 💀
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bones4thecats · 27 days
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May I request Poseidon, Thor and Hades with a sweet, female s/o who's a god of destruction, hunting, and nihilism?
If Their S/O Was The Deity of 'Evil'
Type of Writing: Request Name: If Their S/O Was The Deity of 'Evil' Characters: Poseidon, Thor, and Hades Requester: Anonymous
A/N: I've been reading so much on Norse Mythology it's insane... to sum it up I'm a nerd, and it's fun, ngl🤣
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✧⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋄✧⋄⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋆⋄✧⋄⋅⋆⋄✧⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋆⋄✧⋄⋅⋆⋄✧⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅
🔱 Poseidon never leaves his kingdom unless it was necessary
🔱 That did bode well with who you were. As the Greek Deity of Destruction, Hunting, and Nihilism, you had helped raise multiple Gods into their roles, such as Ares, the Greek God of War, and Heracles, the Human-turned-God of Fortitude
🔱 Because of how violent Ares grew to be and how impulsive Artemis had been instead of regal, as many viewed a woman to act like that, many viewed you as a mixture of them
🔱 But, you were quite the opposite. At least to Poseidon and his main allies, that is
🔱 You, to your husband, was the complete opposite as what you were rumored to act like. Instead of a cold-hearted and blood-thirsty deity who lived off of the pain and harm against other living beings, you were a sweet and adoring S/O
🔱 And whenever your husband would get pissed off about something, you could just rest your hand on his shoulder and calm him down like nothing... much like what he can do for you
🔱 Poseidon, despite what he says, enjoys it when you take his nephews, Heracles and Ares, out of the main meeting room and would take them to do some things so that they wouldn't get caught in the middle of a sibling-driven argument (mainly Adamas and Poseidon)
🔱 It makes him feel at least some kind of connection to his family, even if he isn't fond of many members (unless you consider his relationship with Hades to be somewhat healthy)
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🌩️ Thor always liked you, but since your father, Þjazi (Thiazi), had obviously caused a massive incident when it came to the Gods and your older sister, Skadi, he had pushed it all behind
🌩️ You on the other hand, had evolved your relationships with the Norse Pantheon, specifically you had welded a bond with Thor and his father, Odin
🌩️ Odin was very weary about you being alone with his son at first, but when Thor had come up to discuss his emotions towards you, the head God had just sighed and told him about how he had felt about the God of Thunder's mother when they first met centuries ago
🌩️ Thor was obviously shocked to hear that he was in love with you, a mixture of Goddess and Jötunn, but he did accept it and admit his feelings to you, shocking your sister, Skadi, and brother-in-law, Njord
🌩️ When you guys married and became each other's other half, many began rumors about you, since you began to represent Destruction, Hunting, and Nihilism in the Norse Pantheon
🌩️ Thor was not amused when those rumors had reached his ears, in fact, he was extremely pissed when someone had compared your actions to your father's. You were far from your father in his eyes
🌩️ While your father was hailed for his threatening and domineering nature with certain beings, while you were either quiet and polite or sweeter than a cup-full of sugar
🌩️ The God of Thunder, despite his wishes, doesn't go after those who speak bad of you, as he knows you'd be upset, along with your sister, who has been working hard on keeping your bonds in the family perfect
🌩️ He doesn't want his precious S/O mad, now does he?
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💀 Hades himself doesn't have the best rumors being thrown around about him, so he understands how you feel when a new one arises
💀 Many think of the God of the Undead to be a very cold and manipulative being, but to you and his family and closest allies, Hades is a very caring and loyal brother/friend/husband
💀 Your husband was one of the first people to accept you inside of the old group of Deities, and he was by-far the most welcoming Gods, alongside Heracles and Aphrodite
💀 He adored how you represented such 'horrible' things, that being; Destruction, Hunting, and Nihilism, yet you were one of the nicest divine beings that he had ever both laid eyes on and given his heart too
💀 Hades and you had one of the best marriages hailed throughout the Heavens, from the Norse to the Shinto, everybody would agree on how amazing you guys held each other's hands through every single endeavor that threatened your relationship
💀 Despite what many believe, you are very kind to your husband's family. Many other Gods and Humans believe that you and his brothers hold a deep resentment for one another
💀 When in reality, you bond with them all very well. For Adamas you would help him train and keep himself in gear. Poseidon and you sit in silence and read whenever you don't want to speak, to him you're a decent divine being. And for Zeus, you're an ideal older sibling, you have had to hold him back from doing something that would either cause a war or Hera's anger... so basically just another kind of war...
💀 Your husband loves to see you bond with his family, especially Poseidon, since the God of the Seas isn't very fond of many. To Hades, he seems like he only tolerates him. So, seeing you guys actually bond in a way is nice
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Text
Record of Justice: Wonder Woman! Reader HCs
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I am so gay for Diana.
- Brunhilde doesn't HESITAITE to choose you as one of her champions, seeing as you're both demi-gods who come from a warrior race of women, I can see you and her honestly having a lot in common together.
- But yeah, no, Diana's whole thing is that she wants to save the world of man so even of Brunhilde didn't choose her, you would have still chosen to fight because it was your duty.
- So Wonder Woman has multiple origins: Her original one being that she was born from clay by her mother but there are versions she has a dad which kinda switches between Hades and Zeus. Zeus will be your father in this case because I genuinely like the idea of him blowing his fucking gasket when he sees you enter in the side of humanity.
- "YOU KNOW HER, YOU LOVE HER: LADIES AND GENTLEGODS, GIVE IT UP FOR THE AMAZONIAN PRINCESS AND SAVIOR OF MAN: (Y/N)!!!"
- Ares and Wonder Woman have so much beef in the comics so you and him definetly don't see eye to eye now. In fact, Ares would fight you himself if he could but like, you're also kinda scary when you're mad.
- Zeus and Poseidon are literally about to blow a fucking gasket when they see you. Zeus is more subtle as usual as he's all: "Oh, well she's always been the black sheep of the family!" but in reality, he feels deeply betrayed. Poseidon isn't surprised honestly, he genuinely believes you should have grown up with the Olympians instead of on Themyscira because then maybe you'd learn to look down on those pathetic humans instead of protecting them.
- Tbh, Poseidon does have a bit of a soft spot for you as his niece because you're the only one whose ever DARED to back talk him despite knowing his power. He wishes your mother, Hippolyta, wasn't such a stubborn woman. I can totally see moments when you're absolutely destroying Gods and Poseidon just smiling proudly at you but then quickly scowling so no one can see him.
- However the Greek Gods who explicitly still care for you are definetly Hermes, Hercules, and Aphrodite.
- Aphrodite, being your big sister, absolutely adores you even if you two aren't on the same side. She smiles when she sees you and if she can, she will try to catch you in the hallways and pull you into a hug, meanwhile you're kinda suffocating in her bosom. She compliments you on what a strong and beautiful woman you've become, the only reason she isn't upset with you for "betraying" the family is because...well, you've always been like that. It's just nice to see you again♡
-As for Hercules, you both are Demi gods and while you acknowledge humanities faults, you welcomed him with open arms and appreciate his dedication. You two might not be bound by blood but the way you carry each other's ideals and respect and tease each other, its very clear you two have an unbreakable bond.
- Hermes adored you since you were born. Despite Themyscira's laws that men weren't allowed on the island, he was a God, and would happily come and see you to play with you. Taking on a big brother role in your life, he smiles softly as you glare at your father and he thinks you're just as cute as when you were a little toddler struggling to walk on the sandy beach coast of your island.
- As for the human side, they're all in literal wonder of you...which makes sense regarding your hero alias, but when they watched you at work: you impressed everyone while Brunhilde smiled at you and it pissed Zeus off even more when you both shook hands and sent him smug smirks on your faces.
Enemies/People Who Dislike You:
- Ares is a huge hater as I stated before, maybe you humiliated him in the past in front of Zeus, or maybe it was that one time you stole his helmet in a fight and became the New Goddess of War for a while but either way: you and him should never be in the same room together because not even the Gods can predict that disaster.
- Loki thought the rope thing was kinda hot but found out the hard way WHY it was called the Lasso of Truth. Even when he is shaped shifted, he will revert to his normal form if you ever catch him with it AND YOU ALWAYS FUCKING DO. He also can't even try and mislead you by telling you half truths because he just blurts out the truth right away. Everyone absolutely adores you for it, ngl since Loki doesn't even bother pulling tricks when you're around and when he sees you fight for humanity, he throws a huge tantrum...He still finds the rope thing hot tho...
- Zeus. He has conflicted feelings for you, he does love you but he wishes you wouldn't always go against his wishes...though he supposes thats what he gets for having your mother raise you instead of him. You show him respect but you clearly harbour bitter feelings for him betraying your trust and wanting to wipe out humanity and he understands that. It still doesn't give you the right to laugh about him with Brunhilde and he'll be sure to get you back for it.
Allies/Friends Who Trust You:
- Brunhilde is honestly a good friend of yours, I genuinely think she sees you the same way she sees Hercules but she relates to you a little more. (The Valkyries and Amazon's would have martinis on the beaches of Themyscira, fight me on that-)
- Shiva, honestly. He likes that you're strict but you can definetly be fun and silly in your own way. You honestly remind him of Rudra, who he totally tries to set you up with so because you two really have a lot in common!
- Obviously Hercules, Hermes, and Aphrodite but also: Poseidon, surprisingly...sometimes. Again, he does soften a bit when it comes to you and he wonders if you're simply stubborn and brave or stubborn and stupid. You are his favorite niece but also, the one that causes him to roll his eyes the most.
- Honestly, all of the Valkyries. When you heard about Brunhilde and her Völundr's, you knew that it was clever but also: that you couldn't just stand to let your fellow sisters in battle fall, the odds being against them. Also, the will all hug you and tackle you to the ground.
- Sasaki Kojiro is a human you take a liking too, he reminds you of a friend whose clad in all black...except he's more cheerful and happy and might have lost in life, but still: he never gives up. You admire those skills in a human and he gets all shy and flustered when you compliment him but I can totally see the both of you practicing sword fights and even moments where he beats you, which you're proud of him for doing, honestly.
- Adam. He genuinely just is the dad Zeus never was, even though you're not one of his own children, he'll fight like you are. Tbh, the only man that deserves to set foot in Themyscira and the other Amazon's would agree. Eve also gossiping with your Hippolyta in the crowd and complimenting her on raising such a wonderful daughter and they talk about mom things.
Admirers/Characters Who Have a Crush on You:
- Thor, just straight up. Since you're a fellow immortal, you two have somewhat known each other, you didn't really care much for the godly affairs so it wasn't often, but he's had the biggest crush on you. When he saw you fight so fearlessly in the crowd, those feelings came back 10 fold. Definetly wants to fight you because that's his way of flirting. Zeus and Odin 100% want to pair you two together to create an official alliance and while Thor wants you to choose him out of your own volition, he will suggest that it is a good idea.
- Jack the Ripper. HE HAS BISEXUAL PANIC BECAUSE HERCULES WAS ALREADY SOKIND TO HIM BUT YOU?? OH, YOU'RE TRULY DESERVING OF THE TITLE OF GODDESS, your color is so gorgeous; filled with such love and passion. After his battle, after he killed Hercules, he is ashamed to face you. But, amazingly, you do not look at him in disgust or shame. You kneel down and gently hold his face, you are in mourning, but you still kiss his head gently and tell him: "You fought well. Rest." and he just short circuits as you begin to carry him.
- BUDDHA, BABY. He loves how serious you are but also, that you can be pretty goofy honestly. Also loves how you stand up to Zeus constantly. Not to mention he certainly has a thing for strong women. But also, he finds your work inspiring, trying to guide humanity to a better life of enlightment. HIPPOLYTA ALSO TRYING TO SET YOU TWO UP BECAUSE SHE'S A COOL MOM AND SHE'S ALL: "You know, that Buddha has been staring at you~" and you have to be all: "MOTHER!" And he walks over to you and offers you a snack and you take it. Zeus hates him because he thinks Buddha would be a "bad influence" on you.
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nicasdreamer · 8 months
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Therapy in Valhalla
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The boys are
✨Emotionally Damaged✨
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telvess · 3 months
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Reader using pick-up lines on them
chaotic writing for the fun
Hades
“You should be arrested for stealing my heart!”
Pick-up lines, hmm? Alright, fine, but did you have to use the most pathetic, the cheesiest one? Hades is way too elegant for such a poor tasted attempt, he actually feels offended by your words.
Your first impression is horrible. Hades silently judges you. Of course, he is too classy to make any snarky comments, but you can tell by his cold, indifferent look that he has lost all interest in your company. At this point, he is more of a Poseidon than his brother himself.
If you aren’t the type of person who gives up easily and still tries to flirt… just stop. The best you can get from him would be „yes”, „no” or a nod of the head.
Buddha
“You see my friend over there? She want to know if you think I'm cute.”
Buddha stares at you for a long moment, then looks over your shoulder to check out your friend (who you obviously made up), then then returns to you. His expression is blunt, maybe slightly bored. Totally makes you lose the confidence you had a moment ago as you watch him lazily suck a lollipop and pierce you through with his unimpressed glare.
The worst he can say is „no”, right? Well, who would have thought that the enlightened mind of Buddha would prove otherwise. A drawn-out silence makes you uncomfortable and you start to squirm under his gaze, not ready for that unfazed attitude of his…
Once the confidence you felt approached him vanished and you are ready to leave as quickly as possible, Buddha begins to laugh historically. You jump up a little and stare at him confused. It takes him a while to calm down, but when he does, he looks at you seriously again and says „tell your friend I find ya cute” with the most annoying smirk in the entire universe.
Susanoo
“Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?”
Susanoo watches you with harsh expression, his eyebrows raising as your attitude doesn’t change. You just stand in front of him and wait for his answer. Kinda hot, he has to admit.
He is amused by this shitty attempt, but still has to admit that it takes some balls to say something so crappy to his face. You’re bold, stupid and definitely not in your right mind.
He would definitely address all of the above and then… respond to you with an even cheaper pickup line that he thinks sounds good. He is very proud of himself and oblivious to the point that it matches his intimidating aura.
Susanoo likes a person who isn’t concerned with what everyone think of them, but he is also a person who expects others to submit to his will, which makes him rather difficult person to flirt with, demanding from you to adapt to his confusing preferences.
Nikola
“If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together.”
BUAHAHAHAHA! HE WOULDN’T GET IT 100%!
He looks at you very confused at first, then he puts to work all of his braincells trying to figure out what you meant. Is this some kind of puzzle? Mystery? It’s clearly impressive, because he struggles to solve it!
Please, stop the brainstorming session before he starts writing his thought on the board and calls members of the science crew asking for the consultations.
After yours short explanation (which probably burnt your soul to the bones with embarrassment) Nikola nods, compliments your clever attempt and… continues what he was doing before this whole masquerade started, oblivious to the fact you just hit on him. So you just stand there and wait for something, but you last barely several dozen seconds before you run away to hide somewhere far, far away.
Much to your surprise, Nikola visits you the next day and invites you for coffee, bluntly.
Hermes
“Can I put my hand on your thigh, where it belongs?”
You sit next to him and get straight to the point. No hesitation, no shame in your eyes. Hermes’ eyes widen for a millisecond as the words leave your lips. Oh? Oh? Oh? He couldn’t help but let his lips stretch into a wide smile, trying to cover his mouth with his hand as a single chuckle escapes his lips.
When he pulls himself together, Hermes lets his playful nature take over. So you thought you were flirty? Hermes is too smart and too cunning to allow you triumph for long. Even if he isn’t interested, he will leave you with a dry mouth and wet panties. Hermes uses the tongue as smoothly as he uses the violin.
Apollo
“I'm sorry, were you talking to me?” He denies, “Well, would you like to?”
My, my, look at you! Approaching the Sun God just like this? Apollo is impressed. In fact, because of how intimidating he is, it's not often that others surprise him with such bravado. Usually they just treat him as something as intangible as the rays of the sun, bathing in his glory, praising him as a celestial being, not as a person. You - on the other hand - are a breath of fresh air.
Once the first shock wears off, his entire figure begins to glow and he gives you the most breathtaking smile you will ever see. From that point on, everything he does comes so naturally that it makes you lose yourself. After making great first impression, you end up like everyone else: Apollo wraps you around his little finger and before you know it, you just sit there and listen to his melodious voice as if you are bewitched. The man is too charming.
Poseidon
“Are you a magician? Because when I look at you, everyone else disappears.”
Peasant. Get out.
You aren’t clever. You aren’t brave. You aren’t impressive. The only person that will disappear is gonna be you, if you don’t remove yourself in the next 3 seconds.
Whoever didn’t stop you from approaching Poseidon like this, definitely doesn’t wish you well.
Kojirō
“Aren't you tired? From running through my mind all day?”
The man gives you surprised look, and moment later he presents you his widest smile. Sasaki has no clue what to say, so he just stands before you, rubbing his neck and blushing like teenage girl. He may stammers out a few words of thanks, but you really shouldn’t hope for more. Kojirō is simply not used to compliments, so even the simplest pick-up line can rock his world.
Please, ask him about swordsmanship, because it’s probably the only thing he can talk about while his brain fries in the skull.
Once Kojirō pulls himself together, he turns out to be exactly as carefree and friendly as you expected. The longer you two interact, the more open and less awkward he becomes.
Ares
“Do you have a name, or can I just call you 'mine'?”
Did you just? Huh???
Ares blinks a few times before his brain process information. He can’t believe you said something like that! Do you even know who you are talking to? He is Ares, the God of War! One of the twelve Gods of Olympus and son of Zeus! He deserves more respect, not some pathetic, human-alike attempt at flirting. He shouts all this in your face, making a big scene and ridiculing you in front of the others gods. For a moment he’s proud of himself, but your teary eyes quickly put him in a less mighty state.
To make things worse, you literally run away. At first Ares tries to ignore the feeling of guilt in his chest, pretending that your reaction was childish and exaggerated, but all he needs is Hermes to make a little remark (“Poor thing, it seems she gave her all to speak up.”) to make Ares’ face red.
He mutters some lame excuse to leave and starts looking for you. He still thinks your attempt was awful, but maybe - just maybe - his heart skips a beat knowing that some pretty miss thinks so highly of him.
Jack
“If music be the food of love, let’s have a feast together.”
Okay, this man isn’t used to hearing compliments, let alone hitting on him. Jack is a little shocked, not because he doesn’t understand you, but because you actually chose him. He doesn’t recognize you, but to his great surprise you seem to know a little about him. After all, you referred to Shakespeare. It couldn't have been an accident, right?
“Pardon me, lady?” is probably the first thing out of Jack's mouth as he’s still processing what you’ve said, but he quickly snaps out of his surprise, “Forgive me, where are my manners?”
Jack introduces himself properly, takes off the hat and bows like a gentleman. He then politely asks for your name, still fluttered that you gave him a chance.
Thor
“Did you do something to my eyes? I can't seem to take them off you.”
“…”
Neither Thor nor Mjölnir budge. Well, this is definitely something new; no one has ever approached Thor this way before, so he has to give you some points for creativity. However, don’t expect anything as Thor isn’t interested in continuing the conversation, so it’s up to you if you are interested in one-sided interaction.
Loki
“Well, here I am! What are your other two wishes?”
Loki stares at you without the slightest sign of interest, twirling strand of hair around his finger. He seems distant, almost like he didn’t hear you. Then he flinches, as if snapped out of trance. His face changes in a split second: a wide, forced smile and squinting eyes screaming at you to evacuate, because you’ve hit on the wrong guy. “Do you have a death wish, woman?” Loki asks, his voice has the sweetest tone that tickles your ears, but his words spew poison…
Loki is capricious. I don’t think it’s a matter of wrong pick-up line, it's rather more a matter of right timing. But even if you choose a bad moment to approach him, he probably wouldn’t hurt you (physically) - he prefers to scare others, toy with their fear than kill them.
On the other hand, if your timing is right, then you would still bounce off the wall, because Loki doesn’t intent to give you a straightforward answer; he would like to play with you, confuse you with the mixed signals he sends. He wants a reaction from you, entertain him. If you are cocky - his goal is to crush your self-confidence. Shy? Prepare for blushing, squealing and stuttering. Ah, you think you’re being funny here? Loki will gladly turn your smile into tears.
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