#i put them in soup etc to boil and then take them out before i eat it

[downthepub]

why is my home grown dried whole oregano so many times better than any oregano i’ve ever bought as a dried herb?

#is it because of the stems? do the stems add more flavor?? #i put them in soup etc to boil and then take them out before i eat it #oregano #it's just so good???? #idk why #oregano because that's an herb i've managed to keep alive (it's so hearty) #the other herb i'm good at keeping alive (bc it will survive me) is mint #but i don't dry the mint #at least not yet #i'd like to get better at herbs because there's clearly a lot of potential #but whatever it is probably needs to be able to survive severe neglect #if it needs babied it probably can't live here

[secondbeatsongs]

new year, new food crime

I hate it when recipe bloggers tell you the entire rundown of their day before giving the recipe, so just to start off, I'm going to put this here:

3 cups of liquid (water + shrimp water) 3 packets unflavored gelatin 1 tbsp vegetable base (or a bouillon of some kind; that'd probably be fine) 1 large handful of shrimps (approx 20) 3 eggs, hard-boiled and sliced 1 small bag mixed frozen vegetables, thawed a gelatin mold or bowl with a capacity of 4 cups

now, looking at this ingredients list you might be asking, "hey SBS, what the fuck did you cook this time?" and to that I say: buckle up.

so I've been watching Arne & Carlos' videos for a bit, firstly because I was curious if they were gay (they seem to be), and secondly because I like their knitting patterns

but their channel isn't just knitting! they also cook together, and it's fun and chaotic, and one of the things they cooked…intrigued me.

I don't know how this dish is spelled. cabaret? kabaret? there are only a few recipes for it online, and most of those are not in english. but essentially, it is a Norwegian aspic with shrimp, vegetables, and hard-boiled egg in it.

what is aspic, you might ask? well, it's…I mean…it's meat jello. that's what it is. you cook meat for a while (some recipes say to use pig's feet, snout, etc), and it makes a gelatinous broth, which solidifies when it cools.

delightful!

however, I am not willing to make aspic from scratch for this, so I substituted it with unflavored gelatin packets. hooray!

(apparently in Norway, you can buy packets of instant aspic! but since you can't do that here, I looked up what ingredients are in instant aspic, and after putting them through google translate, decided "huh, seems like gelatin powder with some kind of bouillon", so that's how I ended up here)

this recipe isn't so much cooking as it is…construction. like sure, you heat up the gelatin, but after that it's pretty much just putting stuff together.

and apparently you can make this with pre-cooked or canned shrimp, but I only had the raw frozen kind, so I put them in a saucepan with just enough water to cover them, heated them until they were fully cooked, and then saved the water from the pan to mix in with the gelatin.

so, shrimpy water + enough water to make 3 cups of liquid, and then I mixed in vegetable base until it tasted…fine. (it didn't taste good, it just tasted…okay.)

then I heated up the liquid in the microwave (in a big 4-cup measuring cup), mixed in the three gelatin packets, and there you go! that's all of the cooking done.

now, for the assembly.

I put some of the shrimp all the way at the bottom of the jello mold, trying to arrange it so that it would look nice. I sliced the hard-boiled eggs, and put the prettiest slices of egg around the edges, sprinkling in some vegetables and pouring gelatin as I went.

…and then I gave up on being artistic, and just kinda lumped everything else in, and covered it with the gelatin mixture.

(unfortunately I didn't think to take pictures of the assembly portion of this, because I was multitasking at the time and got distracted, but you'll just have to trust me that it was a tolerable experience, and didn't look very interesting)

after that I chucked it into the fridge (gently), and left it alone while I streamed with makerrcat for a bit, stayed up way too late, and then passed out in a dramatic fashion.

13-ish hours later, I rescued it from its frigid prison.

hmmm

stare into the murky depths with me for a moment. look at this…nightmarish placid soup. this motionless broth.

one of my egg slices definitely didn't get covered all the way. 

ah, well.

to unmold this monstrosity, I put it in a bowl of hot water for a minute or so, until it seemed like it could pull away from the edges. it really didn't take much, so if you (god forbid) try this yourself, keep an eye on it. gelatin melts fast.

then I put a plate over the jello mold, and flipped it over.

after a few tense seconds, it released from the mold with a slimy kthnk sound.

carefully. nervously. I lifted the mold.

and then I let out an involuntary "oh!" because…

…it's kind of…eerily beautiful?

like in a horrifying sort of eldritch way, it looks…lovely

vegetables and shrimp and eggs, suspended not just in space but in time, preserved and surrounded by a gelatinous cocoon…

I just like staring at it, okay! I just think it looks cool! so here's another picture of it from the side:

the egg slices…the little bits of yolk…enchanting

it definitely smells like food. but it's unclear what kind. vaguely shrimp-vegetable-egg, but muddled

let's cut into it

oh. oh god. it made kind of a…squelch? when I cut it?

hold on, you have to experience this for yourselves

god. deeply unsettling.

now, seeing what the inside is like is kind of interesting! there are places where the gelatin has sort of splintered apart from being cut, and there are gaps where pieces of vegetable have fallen out.

but...how does it taste?

...

fuck.

I really like it

this bizarre combination of textures is weirdly satisfying! the squish of the egg and the gelatin, the slight crunch of the vegetables and shrimp, it's just…good?

the gelatin itself just tastes vaguely of broth, but I don't mind it! I don't know if I would eat it by itself, but with the shrimp, egg, and veggies, it's perfectly okay!

the shrimp, egg, and vegetables of course just taste (respectively) like shrimp, egg, and vegetables, but that's...fine? I like all of these things, so this is pretty enjoyable!

so, some of the recipes I managed to find mention serving it with sort of a mayo-mustard mix, so obviously I have to try that

this...helps? like, it tastes really pleasant?

not that it was bad before, but it remains an enjoyable experience!

and a video that I saw (but could not understand) seemed to show it served on a piece of bread, again with the mayo-mustard.

this is also fine! I enjoy this too! I don't feel like it needs the bread, but it's all right!

this is bizarre.

I think most people would probably hate this. it's got the look of a 1960s party food (which is probably what it is), and "meat jello" isn't a texture that modern society regularly enjoys, but…I love it.

I actually love this.

I kind of understand now why people call dishes like this a "jello salad", because…I mean, I'm eating it, and my brain is saying, "yup. this is a salad" and I have no fucking idea why, but this right here? salad. for sure.

cold, wet salad.

damp, even.

so like...is this objectively good food? probably not.

but is it fun to eat? I think so. 

it's refreshing, somehow. it's light, but also more filling than I expected it to be. I have no idea how much would be considered a reasonable serving, but I intend to figure it out as I go along.

so I'm not saying "go make this!" because although this combination of textures plays well with my brain in particular, I don't think that would be the case for everybody.

but I will be eating the rest of this.

weirdly? weirdly, it's just good.

-

an edit, a few days later:

I have done it. I have consumed the entire thing. and I enjoyed every bite of it.

in fact, I plan on making it again! probably more than once!

food crime? no. food…

(pauses to look up what the opposite of "crime" is)

…food blessing. food virtue. food achievement! food…benevolence.

this is what cabaret is.

at least, that's what it is to me.

(create and consume at your own risk.)

#food crimes #food #beware the tags if you haven't clicked the read more #beyond this point there are spoilers #well. I dunno. can a food crimes post be spoiled? who knows. probably #anyway #you have been warned #cabaret #kabaret #aspic #gelatin #shrimp #by the way #I decided a reasonable serving is about 1/4 of this recipe #that was enough for lunch #serve it with a slice of bread and a glass of milk #and I think that'd probably be enough for dinner #for me anyway #idk how other humans operate #I did genuinely enjoy this by the way #this isn't a joke - I really genuinely loved this #there was something so pleasant about the texture #it's hard for me to explain #but it was delightful #joyous even #and I will make it again #oh! another thing #one thing that's the opposite of ''crime'' is ''justice'' #so it could be ''food justice'' #which is‚ if I'm not mistaken‚ what happens in a food court

[themirokai]

I did my at-least-annual tradition of making my family’s chicken soup recipe on Sunday, and I took process photos, so I thought I’d share. Here’s what I have written down but for all its vagueness it’s still not accurate.

I think every generation has modified some stuff about the process and tweaked it for their particular tastes.

Instead of using a whole chicken, I use a split chicken breast (2 halves) plus a pack of chicken thighs (4). I like this better because the ratio of meat to fiddly bits is better and Surfski likes CHICKEN soup (lots of chicken per bowl). You could easily use half a breast or one or two fewer thighs, but I think the mix of white and dark meat is important for flavor.

Next is something I added to the recipe after reading Salt Fat Acid Heat. I salt my raw chicken and let it sit out for at least half an hour before I put it in the water. I think this helps the chicken hold flavor through the cooking.

While the chicken is sitting (so a change from the order of the recipe) I chop a large sweet onion plus the carrots, celery, and parsnips. I think I used 5 skinny stalks of celery, 4 carrots and 5 parsnips, but especially given the size variability you’ve got to judge this based on vibes. How much of each vegetable does your heart tell you that you need in your soup? The one exception to this is if you are not familiar with parsnips and you are considering skimping on them or leaving them out. That is not your heart. That is the devil and you must resist. Trust me on this and use about as many parsnips as carrots.

The next step was added by my great aunt who was a genius in the kitchen (also very good at refurbishing antiques but that’s less relevant). You heat up some butter and olive oil and sautee your vegetables in it. Yes it makes another pan to clean but it’s completely worth it. You don’t cook it for long! Just until the carrots and celery get bright and the onion is just starting to get translucent and everything is a tiny bit soft.

Ok, set the veg aside but I highly recommend snacking on some of the parsnips at this point. Every time I make chicken soup it always makes me want to make roast parsnips and I always forget when I’m meal planning.

Next it’s chicken time! Load your chicken into a big heavy pot and cover it with water. I just barely cover it because I’m going to need room for lots of veg.

Put that on your biggest burner and boil it. It will take a while to come up to a good boil. Once it’s boiling it will start to foam. This stuff.

Ick. Skim that off and throw it away.

Now, when the foaming is done, turn down the heat and dump in your veg. Mix it all in there then put your bunch of dill on top. Make sure you take off the twist tie or anything else holding the dill together.

My mom added this next step which she got from a friend of hers. It’s this shit called Better Than Bouillon.

You can use the plain chicken variety. Roast chicken is just what my grocery store had. I’m not 100% sure what it is but it really does add gorgeous flavor to the soup. I put one big spoonful in a big pot. This is what it looks like out of the jar.

Now you let everything cook together until the chicken is cooked. How long will that take? 🤷🏻‍♀️ Depends on the size of your chicken pieces and how high you have the heat, etc. When you think it might be done, pull out your biggest piece of chicken and poke it. It should be white and firm. If it is, pull the rest of the chicken out too and turn the heat way down but leave the veg and the dill in to simmer.

Now you walk away. Go scroll tumblr. Read a chapter of a book. Draw something. But you gotta let the chicken cool down.

Why? Because you’re going to shred that with your fingers and you don’t want to burn your fingerprints off. Or maybe you do. I don’t know your life.

Anyway, this is a good spot for me to stop and hit post because I’m on mobile and I’ll run up against the 10 image limit.

I hope you’ve enjoyed this so far! The rest of the recipe and the end product will be in a reblog.

#miro irl #cooking with miro #family recipe #cw meat #cw food #chicken soup #chicken soup recipe #long post

[dunderbread]

anyways here's 

HOW TO MAKE A PORTABLE SOUP THAT’LL BLOW YOUR TITS CLEAN OFF

Why you should bother making this: 

you’ll be able to have a soup you can eat outside your home that tastes great, won’t get soggy and ideally needs minimal microwave action

You will need:

A decently sized tupperware

A smaller Tupperware or glass jar

A thermos that can carry enough hot water to fill the medium Tupperware 

some type of bouillon cube

some type of neutral oil

one or more of the following: scallions, onions, garlic, ginger 

ingredients to make suitable soup trimmings (vegetable of choice, protein of choice, eggs, noodles or rice, mushrooms etc)

(optional) additional seasonings (salt, your favorite spices or sauces, lime or lemon juice, etc)

How to Make the Damn Thing

leave enough time to prepare ingredients in advance before you need to eat the soup 

start by making a soup base. mince up your scallions/onions/ginger/whatever and fry it in one tablespoon of neutral oil (you can add more or less depending on how much oil you want in your soup). Transfer everything in the pan into your small Tupperware or jar (watch the temperature!), then add your bouillon cube and a tiny bit of water (just enough to dissolve the cube). Mix together (shake it in its closed container if you’re feeling yourself), then place it in your fridge. If you’re feeling really hip you can add extra ingredients to this base if you think it’ll improve your soup experience.

Prepare the trimmings for the rest of your soup. cook whatever grains/noodles you wanna use, cut up your vegetables, pre-cook your protein and mushrooms, whatever. it is recommended that you cook in advance and not rely on the ingredients cooking in the water on the day of (unless you know some insane hot water magic that I am unaware of). Let the cooked ingredients cool, then place in your medium Tupperware and put that in the fridge too. Again, if you’re feeling up to it you can prepare a separate container of seasonings or garnishes.

Just as you’re about to leave the house (I'm assuming you’re taking this to go, otherwise why wouldn’t you just make a normal soup), fill a thermos with warm water. In another pot/kettle, boil some more water. Then, once the water is at its highest boiling point, pour the water out of the thermos and replace with the new water. Seal immediately. 

place your trimmings, soup base and thermos in your bag and get your ass out the door. Don’t forget to bring a spoon to mix and utensils to eat your soup with

When it’s time to eat your lunch, pour a little bit of hot water into the Tupperware with your trimmings and mix them around to revitalize them after spending time in the fridge. Pour the rest of the hot water (as much as you can fit) into the smaller Tupperware with your base and mix that around, then pour that into the trimmings container as well. If you still have hot water left in your thermos, add the rest of that in. Stir around until it’s all combined. Add garnish if you decided to bring/add that.

The only time you might need a microwave for this is if you take a sip and realize your cold ingredients have turned your broth lukewarm – if you have a microwave on location its worth blasting the ingredients with some radiation real quick to warm them up before you add your broth. Otherwise, enjoy your delicious soup. on the house.

#chatterboxing #long post #cooking #recipie #just add salt #im becoming a recipe blog now. #this was inspired by the fact that I made this literally right before making this post following these exact steps #and it tasted like angel tears (positive). 10/10 will be doing this again

[mylevisdontfitanymore]

So…forgive me if you’ve done something like this before but Steve/Nat/Bucky have been living rent free in my head for a while now and I thought…what if Nat was just having a really lousy time and Steve and Bucky just cooked her an authentic Russian meal to cheer her up but they can’t cook. So they keep practicing and tasting until they get it right…putting on weight as they go because…decadent cuisine, amirite? She notices her little pelmeni getting bigger but she doesn’t mind. She keeps tasting, taunting them, saying it’s not right, try again. Until they get it right, only they’re not the only chubby ones anymore…but Nat doesn’t realize it until she indulges in one of their truly amazing meals and ends up popping a button. Sexy times!

Completely ignores the fact that the last writing I did here was all but a month ago and returns like nothing happened.

I haven't done something like this before! I dig it! It's giving this scene between Wanda and Vision

Also, it reminds me of this Steve and Natasha fic that I adore "Shaping Happiness"

Inspiration/reminders aside... yes! This idea is great!

I went off the prompt a little bit because I couldn’t help myself, I hope it’s still enjoyable!

Warnings for Steve × Natasha × Bucky belly kink below the cut. Unbeta'd. Stuffing, weight gain, dirty talk, etc.

At first, all the food Steve and Bucky attempt to cook for Natasha to cheer her up is truly terrible.

Steve has never been much of a cook, so he claims it’s not his fault. Listen! He's unlucky enough to burn water! So, as Bucky rediscovers Steve’s kitchen ineptitude, he's quickly relegated to boiling water at most and tasting as Bucky cooks at least. Steve cannot be trusted with knives and veggies most of the time (Bucky will never understand how he’s a superhero who can hold his own in combat), nor can he be trusted to measure something correctly (he’d much rather just "eyeball" it), and there is never a time where it is acceptable to allow Steve to cook something. He will turn up the temperature, thinking it’s not cooking fast enough, and accidentally attempt to burn the entire apartment to the ground. So, Steve gets to taste.

Only taste.

Bucky will give him spoonfuls or bits and pieces, and Steve will greedily take them. Praising Bucky’s cooking ability (re: his non-disaster existence in the kitchen that Steve occasionally envies, lmao) and asking for more, please? Weaponizing those pretty baby blues when Bucky’s successful enough for things to be edible.

Obviously, Bucky is a better chef between the two of them, but he's out of practice (years of being the fist of HYDRA will do that to you) and unfamiliar with these kinds of foods. So, even though he's still got a few of his Ma's recipes in the very back of his brain (not that Depression-era foods to keep the family fed are very good compared to a lot of these Russian delicacies), nothing is really… right… when they first begin making comfort food for Natasha.

They try all the staples:

Solyanka (sweet and sour beef stew), zharkoye (beef (or whatever extra meat you have around the house) and vegetable stew), zharkeo (chicken stew), etc.

Borscht (red beet soup), okroshka (vegetables, egg, potato, and meat soup), rassolnik (beef, barley, and pickle soup), shchi (cabbage soup), ukha (fish soup), etc.

Pelmeni (meat dumplings), pirozhki (savory baked or fried puff pastries), blini (wheat crepe-like pastries with sweet or savory fillings), borodinsky (dark rye bread), vatrushka (sweet pastry with cottage cheese and raisins), shashlik (kebabs with cubed meat and vegetables), ikra (caviar on bread/blini), pirozhki (yeast dough stuffed with savory or sweet fillings), etc.

Morozheneo (extra creamy Russian ice cream), pashka (sweetened cheesecake), kartoshka (basically Russian cake pops, often chocolate), kissel (cherry soup), medovik (layered honey and condensed milk cake), etc.

Steve will often spend the time that Bucky is spending cooking by looking up new recipes, and new foods, making sure to take them from credible sources so they don’t end up in a “diner situation”

The diner situation was what happened when Bucky was first recovering and they were surviving on takeout because Bucky was too afraid to allow himself around knives again and Steve was struggling (unsurprising), so no cooking for him, and they went to an “all-American diner.” Hoping for a taste of home and instead finding that the diner served food that was God fucking awful and worst of all, nothing like the actual food of the day it was claiming to represent! It made them both feel worse - lonelier. No one understood what it was like. What the food was, what the culture was, what it was like.

They don’t want that.

They will not be making some bogus “Russian food” that isn’t actually authentic.

Anyway -

All traditional Russian cuisine that Bucky attempts while Steve watches and tastes and researches aren't any good at first.

Like, they suck so much that Steve and Bucky don't even serve them to Natasha. Tasha doesn’t even know what they’re doing. She’s always out on missions or on Capitol Hill with Fury whenever they try their hand at making her familiar Russian foods by their design. While alone together in the apartment, Steve and Bucky quietly try each creation themselves, can barely swallow it at first, and decide… not yet.

Not yet.

They both want it to be perfect.

So, even when Steve begins to use his puppy-dog eyes for evil, begging for more treats, more tastes, because, holy shit, Buck, that’s great! That has to be what that is supposed to taste like! They don’t share the plan with Natasha yet.

Not yet.

Natasha catches onto the fact that something is going on as she starts to squint her eyes and pinch Steve’s hip or ass, gratefully sighing, “at least between the two of you, someone is fully embracing the house-husband lifestyle.”

Embracing the house-husband lifestyle by packing on a few pounds. Just enough to soften Steve’s usually perfect abs into a flat belly (unless he’s stuffed or bloated) and turning his thighs and ass into soft, squeezable shapes.

Bucky and Steve have both retired, giving them all the more time to spend experimenting and practicing recipes for Natasha as house-husbands and homemakers. But Steve is the only one beginning to plump up. He’s stopped going for his morning run and afternoon workouts cold turkey. Bucky still goes to the gym. He finds it meditative. Cooking and working out seem to be some of the only things that completely clear his mind. Steve, on the other hand, has always been single-minded. And it seems like eating has taken up all of his focus.

There's no room for anything else.

Steve tastes as Bucky goes, describing the flavors the best he can, telling him what he might try adding and how the flavor compares to what his research has told him the dish is supposed to be like. Then, when the dish is done, Steve tries it first, while it’s still hot (even if it’s supposed to be served cooled, Steve can’t help but have a healthy serving before it goes into the fridge). He gives notes again. Bucky tries it when it's fully ready. He has a nibble or two, just enough to taste - nothing like the full servings that Steve takes. Bucky has already had his lunch, and he doesn’t want to spoil his dinner. Then, if it’s good, Steve eats the rest of whatever they’ve made.

All of the rest.

Bucky’s taken to telling Steve to “hide the evidence” since they don’t want Tasha to know until they’re ready for her…

Is it really hiding, though, if they both know where the extra food is ending up in the form of a pretty, shaping-up pot belly? Sticking straight out from Steve's well-defined chest.

Food for thought. Ha.

“What is Bucky feeding you when I’m away?” Natasha purrs, on her knees, her sharp, white teeth digging into the new slope of Steve’s belly. He chugged a whole, huge pot of stew when Natasha texted an approximate 10-minute ETA. Getting rid of the evidence except… the stew was full of melt-in-your-mouth meat and potatoes and salt. Heavy. This stew isn't fucking around and it's apparently delectable (Steve's word). So, it’s obvious where the stew has gone. Right into his pot belly.

Swollen.

Once Natasha arrived, Steve was still sweating and just beginning to bloat up like a balloon from the excess sodium. And Tasha's always present 6th sense for knowing how best to drive Steve up the wall, complained about how hungry she was.

A devious grin split Bucky’s face, asking what she was craving because they’d be sure to order lots of it. Whatever she wanted.

She said Indian food.

Perfect.

That’s not something Steve can resist. He loves Indian food. And, sure enough, he wolfed down a whole ‘nother dinner. Getting red in the face from the spice heat and temperature heat, his poor belly gurgling loudly in a fit of digestion.

Steve shrugs in reply to her question, biting his lip out of arousal but also out of desperation to hide the overfull groan that wants to come out of him. He’s been fighting burps and moans and hiccups all evening. Trying to not make his packed state so fucking obvious.

Bucky thought he was into seeing Steve like this - bloated and round - because he loves seeing his fella happy and healthy and fulfilled. Bucky thought he was into cooking and baking and experimenting with food for Natasha because he loves her, and he wants to make her happy and bring her comfort and just do something sweet for her. Those things are true. But, watching Natasha dig her painted nails into Steve’s soft parts…

There’s something else here, too.

Woo, boy.

“Mm,” Natasha is half-asleep, exhausted from yet another mission, yawning, and curled up like a cat in a sunspot between them. Her head is cushioned on Steve’s chest, “‘m pretty sure we could get rid of our pillows and be just fine.” She squeezes the pec that her head isn’t pillowed on in her hand, groping him, “got enough right here.”

Steve inhales shakily, turning bright red.

Bucky can tell by looking at him that he’s not insulted, far from it, that’s his this-is-making-my-dick-hard face. He's squirming, too. Blood going straight for his dick with a vengeance.

“Eh, just wait a little longer 'fore we make any rash decisions, m'kay, doll?” Bucky murmurs, amused, running his metal fingers through Tasha’s fire-red hair.

She grumpily frowns but then snuggles more into Steve’s jiggly chest, taking it as being warned about how tired she is rather than waiting because Steve’s going to get plumper. More cushion.

Good.

The more blindsided she is by the comfort, the better. Bucky wants it to take her out - to make her feel so much better that all she can do is accept it. She has a hard enough time allowing herself simple pleasures.

She deserves it all and more.

“Damn, Rogers, you ever think about doing a centerfold? I’m pretty sure Playboy would make an exception for you if we asked.” Natasha husks, her face all up in Steve’s business. Lips and teeth and tongue working at his little hole while her hands spread his extra full cheeks apart.

Steve simply whines, high-pitched and pathetic.

It’s a damn good response, considering her question and considering how Bucky has his cock rammed down his throat. Stuffing him.

Steve is suspended between them, face-planted onto Bucky’s cock, choking, his arms useless, half crushed under his chest against the bed, and arching back against Tasha. His legs shake under him when Natasha does something special with her sharp tongue. Steve’s in heaven. Choking on dick, throat full, and getting fucked with a hot, wet tongue deep inside his sweet hole.

Now, after weeks and weeks of practice, not just Steve’s big, heavy dick hangs down toward the bed... now his belly does, too. It jiggles when he squirms. Every time Bucky squeezes his growing gut, Steve makes a sound like he’s dying. It’s a different sound to what he makes when Natasha gropes his thickening ass or widening love handles. Also, different from the sound he makes when they feel up his expanding tits. All his sounds are sweet, but the sound he makes for his belly is especially guttural and desperate.

“Curves for days,” Bucky bites out, thrusting in hard. “Better than any of the girls in those pages.”

Steve chokes.

Tasha laughs, just this side of cruel. “Mmm-hmm,” she spanks his ass just to watch the fat flesh ripple, “getting more and more curves these days. I guess retirement is good for somethin’.”

The growl Bucky lets out is unintentional. It’s barely been a year since they retired. So, what will Steve look like in a year? What will Natasha look like when she’s face-first in his ass then? Will Natasha have to buy a longer strap to reach Stevie’s hole, much of the plastic length getting swallowed by his monstrous ass? How fat will Steve be if they keep going, his perfect, little, superhero figure ruined?

Jesus, Mary, and Joseph.

Bucky can’t take the thought. He ends up coming down Steve’s throat with a shout from behind gritted teeth.

Steve doesn’t mysteriously grow forever, though...

When they’re ready, Bucky and Steve arrange with Fury for Natasha to have a full three-day weekend off, no interruptions unless the world is literally being torn in two. Then, with the guarantee, they prepare.

First, Steve does research into the traditional Russian foods that would be used for a celebration - a feast - and arranges an entire multi-course menu for the occasion. His poor belly, so used to tasting and now able to recognize most of the dishes he comes across, wails the whole time he works. He’s not hungry. Not exactly. He just wants something in his mouth. He wants to taste. He can’t wait for the feast. Bucky has to remind him again and again that this is Natasha’s feast. She’s going to eat what she wants, and then Steve can destroy the leftovers.

Second, Bucky prepares all the dishes. One last time. Every detail on point. Practicing. Getting everything as perfect as he can. Making sure the dishes and drinks in each course compliment each other well.

Steve gobbles it all up, stuffed like a traditional American Thanksgiving turkey by the end of it. Panting around his bounty, all of it shoved down his throat, turning his belly into a red, tight beachball that Bucky wants to worship.

And for once, Bucky is relieved that Natasha is currently, before her long weekend, on a multiple-day mission. She’s out of the apartment and not returning tonight. He’s relieved because it means he doesn’t have to explain this to her.

Steve. Stuffed. Food-drunk and hard and moaning about it.

There’s no way this would be an accident. No one gets completely, illogically gorged like this without trying.

When did tasting bits and pieces become vacuuming up the entire dish Bucky made anyway? Bucky doesn’t exactly know. But he can’t complain. All he can do is rub Steve’s skin with lotion then jerk him off slow and tight, dragging it out until Steve is sobbing, holding his taunt gut desperately like he can keep himself together, keep himself from splitting at the seams, and then blacking out when he’s finally allowed to come because it feels so good.

Third, they prepare all the food before Tasha is set to arrive home. She’s been in debrief most of the morning, but before that, she caught a cat nap on the quinjet and then showered at Stark Tower. She should be refreshed. There’ll be no reason to delay the feast. Bucky doesn’t want to have to reheat it and ruin some of the delicate flavor.

He wants it perfect.

Steve waddles around, helping Bucky to set the table the traditional Russian way - including the shot of vodka next to the water and wine glasses. Steve waddles because Bucky had to make sure he had his fill of food before the feast. Otherwise, he would’ve probably been helpless not to hoover up all the decadence laid out in front of him. He’s created a monster. Even if it’s been hotter than sin to watch him lose self-control after so many years of being perfectly in control of every little part of himself and his life - but, there needs to be an intervention of that new habit today.

So, Steve is stuffed, barely holding himself together. Panting. Flushed. Sweaty. Aroused. Filled.

Bucky is so focused on the stew in front of him, steaming on the stovetop, as he ladles it into an appropriate bowl for serving that he doesn’t hear Natasha unlock the apartment door. The first thing he hears from her is a pleased moan.

“What is that smell?” She asks, her husky voice bright.

“I think you know what it is,” Bucky chirps back, charming.

“Mm-hm,” she hums. Bucky hopes he isn’t projecting when he thinks that she sounds delighted.

But, before he can get anything else out of her, he hears her gasp. He’s about to round the corner and check on her, make sure nothing is wrong after her mission, when -

“Oh, маленький поросенок,” she purrs, “this is why you’ve grown so plump, isn’t it?”

Bucky shivers, setting down both the ladle and the bowl, quickly stalking toward the dining table. Little piglet. God. Did he hear her correctly? Did - is… is that what she really just called Steve?

Little piglet.

The meaning of the words themselves, along with the sound of smooth, purred Russian in Natasha’s voice, leaves Bucky’s heart pounding in his chest.

This was part of the plan, too. Making Steve irrestiable, putting him on display, was part of the plan. He just didn’t -

He didn’t expect it to affect him so much.

He wanted it for Tasha.

Just for her, he left Steve at the dining table, sitting back in one of the heavy wooden chairs with his big belly wedged between the armrests as a gift. Huffing and puffing, stuffed as he already is. His hands resting on either round, bowed-out side of his tummy, rubbing himself lazily. He’s in a tight white t-shirt that’s been pushed up by his swollen middle, exposing a delicious, pale slice of his lower belly that’s been marked by hot, pink stretch marks. Even the serum can’t keep up with the ravenous appetite inside of Steve. The elastic of his grey sweatpants has been stretched to its limits and crushed under his gut. If his heavy belly is lifted up, jostled enough to make him moan, it becomes obvious just how low his sweats are on his hips because the top of his neatly trimmed, blond pubic hair is right there.

Sweet.

He looks delicious.

He looks like one of the Russian pastries Bucky has prepared. Golden and puffy. Hell, he might look more like the dough for the pastry before it’s baked - he’s certainly doughy and soft and he’s expanding out of his clothes like he’s expanding, growing from too much yeast.

Natasha is standing next to him now, her mouth open, staring at him, trying to figure out where to begin. A cat with a mouse, all hers to play with.

The moment she touches him, Steve arches his back, pushing into her touch. Hungry for even that.

Gluttonous.

He’s so gluttonous.

More. More. More.

More of everything. Anything.

“You gonna sit down, doll?”

Natasha shuts her full lips with a click but nods, almost shy with how her eyes flick toward him, then away. Demure in a way that she never is. Normally, if she wants something. She’s going to get it.

This is a different side of her, and Bucky already likes it.

Bucky pulls out a chair for her, the one directly across the table from Steve. She sits, and he pushes her in. He leaves quite a bit of space between her and the table, hoping her gluttonous side will appear and flourish, too. He wants to see her belly grow until it touches the edge of the table.

Christ.

He wants her to eat until she can’t have another bite.

Maybe she’ll let him feed her like Steve lets him.

Maybe she’ll grow as round and fat as Steve has.

He enjoys having one little piglet as a lover, so what could be better than two?

Fuck.

More than excited, Bucky sits himself at the head of the table after bringing the first course. He serves Steve just as much as he serves Natasha, unable to not feed him when he looks so sweet. Even if the plan had been to stuff Steve beforehand so he would be sated (and also to allow him to sit for long enough that he’d be ready to play by the time Natasha was done eating).

Steve is...

He's perfect. Irresistible. Blue eyes dazed, eyelids heavy, cheeks red with heat, head hanging low enough to give him a full double chin. A preview of what’s to come if he keeps blowing up like a balloon. It’s delicious.

Tasha eats everything that Bucky serves her. Everything. Practically licking each plate or bowl clean. She praises his dedication, obviously noticing the care and preparation of the presentation but also tasting the care and prep. These are not flavors that are easy to attain. It’s not perfect. But Natasha is glad it isn’t perfect. That means they can do this again. And again and again and again. Until they have it perfect. Then. Even after that, they should do it. This is good.

Natasha is enjoying herself because, perfect or not, it does settle her. She feels like she could close her eyes and be in one of the rare moments of her childhood where she felt safe and comforted. Better than that, too. With her eyes open, she’s here with her lovers. Her маленький поросенок [little piglet] and her… her кормушка.

Кормушка.

That feels right.

Her feeder.

That’s what Bucky is doing, feeding her, stuffing her, giving her everything she wanted and beyond. More than she could’ve imagined.

The fuller Tasha gets, the farther they get through the courses, the more settled she feels.

It’s hard, she realizes, to allow her abs to let go and expand with the bulk of the food she’s putting down, but, when they make it to the third type of stew, Bucky pauses to rub her belly over her tightening blouse and she moans and breathes heavy and let's go.

She unrounds.

She didn’t realize she was sucking in every moment of every day. Exhaustive. Letting go makes her toes curl. She watches Steve across the table and does as he does, mirroring him, squirming.

“Oh, Джеймс,” Natasha moans his name in Russian, James. Moving side to side, squirming, she can feel the food sloshing inside her. It’s so akin to the feeling of being fucked that it’s shocking. Full. Every sweet spot inside her hit. No wonder Steve loves this enough to have plumped up so deliciously, so rapidly.

She must be making a wet spot on her chair. The heat between her legs is so intense. She would love to squeeze her legs together and feel the throb of her pussy, stimulating herself, but she’s afraid she can’t move her legs. They’ve fallen apart. Spread. Making room for her belly to grow between.

Grow and grow and grow.

Until it’s inhibited by the size of her shirt and the band of her pants, belted tightly to her skin. Her blouse is too tight. The belt is cutting her in half. Without the belt, she’s sure her pants would be giving her trouble anyway. Together, it’s all agony. And these pathetic sounds she only makes when her lovers spend their day working her up and up and up, not letting her come until the sun has begun to set and all she can do is weakly clutch at them, crying, sobbing, and whimpering for her release. Begging to have it. And making a massive mess when she does, squirting hard enough the first time she was convinced she pissed herself. Just. Drenched. Broken like a dry branch snapping.

Crack.

How does she feel like she’s there already?

Steve is watching her from across the table with this obscene, blatant, animal desire etched into his pretty face. She’s not sure she’s ever seen him look so dumb and dominant at once. Like he wants to take her, to devour her, but he doesn’t know how.

Not a thought in his head.

She doesn't blame Steve, though. It is exquisitely difficult to think when so stuffed. She's full up to her eyebrows, and every swallow is forcing her brain out of her head. No thoughts.

Bucky reflects the look on Steve’s face, just, without so much of the stupid. He’s clearly awed, but he knows exactly what he wants.

What he wants to do to her.

What he wants from her.

Pop.

Before she can even realize what’s happened, Natasha is moaning, gruff and loud, and breathless all at once. She has a mouthful of food that she’s having a hard time swallowing, and her body doesn’t want more food. Her mind wants more food. She needs. More. Just a little more. Please? This feast has to end at some point, doesn’t it? So she might as well take all she can get while she can get it, right?

What happened? She turns her head towards Bucky, feeling entirely shit-faced drunk in a way that she… she hasn’t maybe ever felt.

Tasha swallows her mouthful of food, moaning as it slides into her. Stuffing her more. Deep. And -

Pop. Pop.

“AH!” She moans again, twisting her head too fast when she hears an answering clink, clink.

Her eyes follow the sound and find Steve’s plate and her answer.

Two of the three buttons she’s just popped off of her blouse, each feeling like an orgasm in their own right, has landed on his plate.

Steve is staring at them. Chin doubled. Hungry and dumb with his mouth open.

Oh.

Natasha squirms as much as her overfull, clothes-breaking gut will allow for, crying out when she feels her bare skin come into contact with the edge of the table.

She's grown so huge.

Please, please, please.

She doesn’t know what she’s begging for, what her little, hurt, desperate sounds mean. She just knows she needs.

And the second Bucky pulls out her chair, rips her blouse open to allow her to fully expand, tears her belt out of the buckle, shreds her pants, and gets his head between her shaking thighs, she’s coming. Coming and coming and coming. It feels endless. Steve’s eyes are hot enough on her to feel like a physical touch that throws her over the edge that much more. The hot, wet press of Bucky’s mouth against her, her soaked tight core, is too much.

“Oh, oh, oh!” She can’t stop moaning as she orgasms, entirely swept up by the tide of pleasure and excess.

This is absolutely happening again. She's already -

Yeah.

She already knows.

Absolutely.

She gets off so hard on it, stuffed to glutted at their dining table, Steve in the same condition, that Tasha thinks she may never get off on anything else ever. She's been ruined. She already knows.

She's ruined, and this is going to ruin her figure. All she can think about is how decadent Steve feels, fat and soft and lush, and her own body being that? Oh, it blows her mind. Their bodies together, both fat and soft and lush and curvy and round, next to Bucky - all solid, hard muscle. Oh, fuck, that obliterates her mind.

😳

#ask #mylevisdontfitanymore #belly kink #text #stuffing #weight gain #bucky barnes #steve rogers #natasha romanoff #stevebuckynat #chubby steve #chubby natasha #fic rec #fanfiction recommendation

[audreyscribes]

How are Hestia's Flamekeepers (I'm going to call them that because it sounds so cool!) and Artemis's Hunters different? What abilities do Flamekeepers have from Hestia's Blessing?

I sort of eluded to Hestia’s Flamekeepers abilities in my story “Carry on My Wayward Child” with the Reader’s aunt being Hestia’s Priestess/Flameskeeper and the reader becoming one at the end, but here we go into more depth-

To start off, Hestia and in turn, Hestia’s Flamekeepers revolve around the hearth, home, place of belonging, family, bonds, and so forth; while Artemis’ revolve around sisterhood, maidenhood, wilderness, and hunting. 

So aside from the sisterhood and shared maidenhood, swearing off romantic love, etc… they’re plenty different in terms of aspects.  As a general differences between it’s like to be Hestia’s Priestesses from Artemis’ Huntresses:

I would say that unlike Artemis’ hunters, the Flamekeepers are non-combatants; matching with Hestia’s non-confrontational nature. While the Huntresses are out hunting monsters and moving at Artemis’ will, the Flamekeepers are back at home, places of refuge, maintaining it and keeping those there safe. Instead, I think the Flameskeeper are knowledgeable in healing, nothing too over the top like the Apollo kids, but more around the realm of medicinal home remedies, tending to wounds and pain from knowing first aid to soothing aches and pains both mentally and physically; like kissing a boo after putting a bandage on it. Not that they won’t or have any special, magical healing abilities but it's very down to earth. There’s nothing like making a literal magical bowl of chicken noodle soup to make someone magically feel better. 

I’m not sure if Hestia would bestow partial-immortality to her flamekeepers, but given how Hestia sometimes look, the alternative is that she bestows her flamekeepers some sort of youth and vigour to them. A liveliness that is akin to being at home with a certain liveness to it.  (I’m not sure if instead of not just a vow, they also step into the sacred fire, allowing the fire to burn away small amounts of mortality, thus bestowing immortality).

Being part of the Hearth, I’d imagine the more a flamekeeper tends to the flame, they stroke not only the physical flame, but also the one in their hearts/soul. The more you embody Hestia’s flame as you tend to it, you learn the whispers of the crackling flame before you find yourself using it. While you can use it how you see fit, you don’t really feel the need to use it in a fight; instead you feel more kin to using it for other things like lighting a candle, using your fire to rekindle the cold coals to boil the kettle to make someone a cup of tea, to light someone’s way through the darkness, providing warmth to those who need it. It’s not as ferocious  as a roaring flame of Hephaestus, but it’s just as powerful. Just don’t use it to hurt for evil misdeeds. While the Flamekeepers are non-combatants, mostly, it doesn’t mean they won’t take up arms and do what is necessary when faced with danger; especially if it threatens the home and hearth. It’s a rare sight but when a force or someone tries to encroach your hearth with evil intentions to cause harm and destruction, the Flamekeepers will bear arms and stoke the flames that will burn away the evil. 

Furthering healing and with fire, I also think the Flamekeepers are a master of blessings and curses. While rare to bestow a curse onto others, you still learn how to cast both blessings and curses, because to be knowledgeable in one, is to learn the other. In rare cases, you have to cast curses when someone has encroached the Flamekeepers’ place without permission or done something bad towards them. This information is more or less an open secret since Hestia doesn’t approve of her priestesses casting curses willy-nilly. Besides, it’s majorly to learn about curses to learn how to break them. The Flameskeepers are often bestowing others blessings when they leave camp for the year or when they go on a mission, and people come to you for help to burn curses; most often caused by Campers. Afterall, fire not only bestows warmth, it also burns.

It’s not a whole lot but I believe seasoned Flamekeepers are able to claim sanctuary and create a safe space in space they’ve made their own. From starting a small campfire in the middle of nowhere to your own personalized space. Anyone who enters your space that you’ve opened your door to is safe from danger, allowing you and others to rest and be safe. It won’t stop a god or a titan, but the more powerful and well-seasoned Flamekeeper is, the stronger their sanctuary is. So at the least, you can keep evil and some monsters away while you help feed and care for them; which is as much as demigods can ask for.  In a more practical movement, you can protect others to a degree.

Like the Huntresses who have their silver palkas and gear, when enough time has elapsed and when they pledge to Hestia, they’re gifted with a veil. It not only as a minor protection, it also has minor invisibility that lets the wearer hide away from evil, harm, and such. It's not as invincible as wearing the Nemean Lion hide or powerful with the invisibility as the Helm of Darkness of Hades, but for a priestess of Hestia? That’s more than enough.  You can wear it on your head like a veil or a headcovering (i.e. tichel, hijab, dupatta, so forth), a shawl, a scarf, to wrap around your waist, or whatever you like you find comfortable. It’s been weaved together with the help of all the sisters within the Flameskeepers with little ember hole marks by Hestia. If the Flameskeeper don’t have the beads from Camp Halfblood or Tattooed by Camp Jupiter, they have (also) the veil. Each year you all get together to embroider your veil with a design, helped by your sisters or by yourself, showing everyone. It can be elaborate or as simple as you like. 

In a more practical, down to earth way, the Flamekeepers are domestics. I would like to think overtime each individual Flamekeeper becomes more talented in certain domestic activities; either its mending and sewing clothes, cooking and/or baking, and so forth. Being from the Hearth, you bring a home-like quality to everything you do and especially as you sing songs from home. So imagine all of that with some magical, blessing effect. So I guess if I had to put a term for it, it would be literal Household Magic.  

That’s all I can think of. There’s probably more that other Flameskeepers that may think of when reading this but that’s only the beginning. Thanks for asking this, I had a lot of fun thinking about this! Hope you all have a great day!

#pjo imagine #percy jackson and the olympians imagines #pjo #pjo imagines #demigod h/cs #demigod headcanons #demigod imagines #hestia cabin #hestia #flameskeeper #scribe's note #ask the scribe #ask box #ask me stuff #asks

[rebellangell]

New food rules

Since I’ve been so out of control lately, I was thinking of creating new food rules and sticking to them as I really need to watch out my weight 😔

1. Breakfast: it can be heavy, but nutritious.

• have a bowl of yogurt with fruit, seeds and oats every morning, blend and takeaway as a smoothie if running late

• can eat carbs, but only brown and good carbs (integral bread, oats)

• protein is key to start the morning and stay full for longer. Boiled eggs are a great option as can be eaten outside home.

• 1 cup of coffee is allowed, with vegan milk or black.

2. Lunch: veggies must take the most space of the plate.

• all type of veggies are allowed (except the ones that cause gas and inflammation, such as broccoli, cabbage, raw peppers…)

• protein is key. Avoid meat with too much fat. Go for lean meats. Chicken breast, chicken wings, pork, beef and mostly fish.

• if can get soup, get it and drink it before the meal.

• avoid carbs such as pasta, white rice, wheat in general, noodles, etc.

• Dessert can be fruits, frozen fruit is a good crave killer.

• only drink still water with meals.

• always brush teeth after eating.

3. Snacks: Only if really hungry

• Digestive cookies if having too much craving for unhealthy treats

• nuts in small amounts

• dried fruit in small amounts can be quite satisfying

• yogurt

• protein bars

• fruits (banana, tangerine, apples, grapes)

4. Dinner: the most difficult part of the day.

• Skip dinner at least 6 days a week

• drink lots of water when the hungry peak starts

• if really hungry, can eat a can of tuna

• if eating too much and junk food late at night, skip breakfast.

• if feeling like bingeing, drink a lot of water and brush teeth.

• if really craving junk food, can eat sushi (small tray of nigiris or makis); or McDonald’s (6pcs nuggets, no sauce, small fries, no soda OR plain hamburger - no cheese, no fries, no soda).

5. Drinks and sweets.

• avoid any type of sugary drinks (bubble tea, iced teas, milk teas, instant coffees, juices, mocktails, sodas).

• drink plenty of still water AND coconut water. Vegan milks are fine.

• if really craving something sweet, eat a protein bar. If not enough, keto dessert is ok once in a while.

• if having dessert, always share with others. Eat slowly and put the spoon down every bite. Count to 30, and then take again. Can take only 3 bites of dessert if REALLY necessary.

6. Others.

• if having a family gathering or lunch with friends, focus mostly on the veggies. The total portion of the unhealthy foods has to be the size of the palm of my hand. If larger, can’t be eaten.

• take meals with smaller cutlery if alone.

• stay away from the kitchen.

• eat chewing gum once the hungry peak starts.

• alcohol must be reduced. 2 glasses a week maximum. Drink slowly.

• water fast for 1 whole day once a week. Can be challenging, but it is a good reset for the body.

• snacks should be fruits. If studying and hungry, healthy snacks (like oat and chickpea chips) are allowed.

I am focusing on this new plan and will make it work 💪🏻

#calories #anamia thoughts #dieta ana #weight loss diet #tw ed diet #ed ednotsheeran restriction #ana rules

[spooniechef]

Split Pea and Ham Soup (1 spoon)

As a little added extra on top of my March sneak preview, I decided to try out my multicooker on soup. Soup is a great one for batch cooking, so lots of leftovers for bad spoon days. Also, beyond chopping things, all that’s really required is letting it cook by whatever method. Pea soup is one of those ones that is always recommended because lots of protein, high nutritional value, and very filling for a pretty good price. So here’s a recipe I got from Bowl of Delicious for Instant Pot Split Pea Soup with Ham, with a few notes on the process and how to make it easier to do.

Here’s what you’ll need:

Three tablespoons oil or butter (it’s just for sauteeing; oil should work fine but butter will taste better)

One onion, diced

Two sticks of celery, diced

Two carrots, diced

1lb (450g or so) dried split peas

6oz (170g or so) thick-sliced deli ham, diced (the recipe recommends a ham bone but that’s trickier to get hold of than some deli ham)

Six cups chicken stock

Two bay leaves (plus other herbs if desired; see notes below)

Salt, pepper, etc to taste

When I did this one, I threw in a tablespoon or so of mixed herbs at the same time as the bay leaves, and added some garlic puree to the butter when sauteeing. Your mileage may vary, but I think it added a lot to the dish.

Here’s what you do:

Sautee your onion, celery, and carrots for about five minutes, until softened. If using an multicooker, use the Sautee or Browning function; if doing it on the stove, just do it in the pot you’re going to make the soup in.

Add split peas, ham, stock, and bay leaves, and any other herbs. If using a multicooker, set up the pressure cooker for manual, high pressure, 15 minutes. If, like mine, your pressure cooker doesn’t have those settings, use the standard ones the multicooker gives you. If you’re doing it on the stove, bring ingredients to a boil and simmer for an hour or so.

If using a multicooker, let the pressure release manually for 15 minutes or so, then quick release the pressure valve. If you’re doing it on the stove, obviously skip this step.

Stir; taste. Add salt, pepper, and/or anything else you think it needs.

It really is this easy, especially with a mandoline to dice all the vegetables. Just a bit of a sautee, throw everything in a pot or cooker, and wait. However, here are a few notes about things I noticed on first attempt.

My peas turned out a little tougher than I might have expected. This might be because I was using yellow split peas, which have a slightly different cooking time, but it might also mean that I trusted the recipe more than the “Soup / Stew” setting on my multicooker. Next time, I’ll try green split peas (if I can find them) and either way, just use the regular “Soup / Stew” setting on my multicooker, which is set for 30 minutes. I think a little mushier is probably better than chewy for the dried split peas.

I think it would have been a little bit bland if I hadn’t put some garlic puree into the butter for sauteeing, and if I hadn’t thrown in about a tablespoon of mixed herbs before cooking. That’s a matter of personal taste, though, so play around with it until you find the balance that you like. Adding herbs and spices after the fact is possible, but it won’t blend quite so nicely with the rest of the soup.

This makes a lot of soup. I mean a lot of soup. Make sure you have plenty of microwave-safe containers to hand, and a reasonable amount of space in the fridge or freezer. Apparently this will keep for about a week in the fridge or up to six months in the freezer, so there’s not too much worry about leftovers going off.

Seriously, even with the slightly chewier peas than I maybe wanted, I’m glad I tried this one. This soup keeps well, is filling and tasty, and doesn’t require a whole lot of effort. Even on the stove, most of what it takes is time; with a pressure cooker, not even that’s a problem.

So there you have it. Nice, simple comfort food. Enjoy!

#The Spoonie Chef #Recipes #meals #soup

[knucklegagging]

12:08 And I have 44 Calories Left

 This is probably the thing that kills me the most. Breakfast: 44 grams of toast and 120 grams of beans (I think it was kidney. I have to eat them so I can get the rest of the gluten and lecithin out of the house. I have an allergy so this might be counterproductive, but I also don’t want to create food waste so it’s kinda like a catch 22) This would have been 122 for the bread and 174 for the beans, and I’d have been fine with just my 4oz glass of orange juice (55) to take my b-vitamins complex in (Major problem with super low iron lately and the calcium and vitamin c in the orange juice is SUPPOSED to help the absorption... but I still felt exhausted and passed out today once around 8 or 9 am.)

I pulled a nasty-ass grimes and cooked up my bread in one tablespoon of salted butter (100) cuz it’s another thing in the fridge I’m trying to get out of the house, and then I had the rest of this tangerine jam I bought months ago cuz I’m sure it’s on it’s last legs. (167) That brought me to a whopping 618 calories for breakfast.

Lunch: Lunch I’m rounding up on one count, the soup. I made this great beatrice potter soup, basing the herbs and ingredients off her books and subsequent cartoon. I’ll put the recipe below:  It’s 2.5 lbs of fresh beetroot and 45 grams of raisins braised with mint and dill with 1.5 t of parmesan and half a cup of coconut milk (would have been cream but I’m no longer buying dairy, the parmesan was already in the fridge) and you bring that to a boil with some dried basil, thyme, and oregano with a pinch of salt and pepper and grated lemon. When that comes to a boil you turn it down to a simmer and slowly stir in one tablespoon of honey before letting it stew off to the side. Then in a separate pot it’s 24 oz of sweet peas, 2 lbs of sweet corn, 4 stalks of celery, 986 grams of red cabbage (not purple ik they look similar but it does matter. the purple does not mesh well) 303 grams of red onion, and 1.5 T salted butter to first brown the onion, then add the cabbage, and season with basil, a pinch of nutmeg and cinnamon, salt, pepper, a sprig of fresh mint, and more oregano. (ik it sounds weird to have the nutmeg and cinnamon in it but it really is a tiny amount and adds a big difference, making it feel like there’s more depth and warmth to dish without becoming overpowering or adding anything ‘spicy’ etc.You steam the cabbage over the sautteed onion until it’s soft, then you stir in the peas and corn. And while those are going you peel 3 lb of sweet yams, chop em thin, and bake those on 425F with oregono, mint, and dill, w a dash of salt and pepper... and again just a tiny little pinch of nutmeg. Do NOT Skimp On The OREGANO)!! 20-35 minutes later the sweet yams are done, and you throw everything in a crock pot and mix it together a smidge w 10 c of water and your choice of stock/better than bouillon. I used a veggie based fake beef and mushroom blend. Cook that for 4hours and bamo! (On mine it’s “low” but mine runs hot so I’m not sure the perfect temp if anyone does try and emulate this). Anyhow, that gets you 4029 calories for the entire pot (and I’m counting potentially evaporated calories like the T of olive oil I had to grease the yam pan with etc. which is 50 servings of 1/4 cups, at 80.58 calories each. So a “normal” portion of 3/4 c bowl is only 241.74 calories! Anywhore, so I haf one 3/4 cup serving of that for lunch and then 31 grams of corn chips. I rounded up and called this 100 cal per 1/4 c even though Ik that’s false, but it makes me comfortable in knowing I’m definitely not being too liberal w my servings. So lunch was 466 calories. I also have a sore throat today cuz I drew blood the last three nights from my esophagus. ~Ik Ik see a doctor yada yada yada blah blah blah go bye bye now it happens~ So I allowed myself three talll mugs of tea with 1/2 a T of honey each. Each mug is 3 cups of water boiled w an herbal tea bag except for the one black tea which Ik I shouldn’t have had but I couldn’t wake up all day today so I needed SOME Caffeine.  And I had one medium basic red apple, from a brand called “cosmic” which makes me kinda mad at my own stupidity, cuz I thought “cosmic” was a new TYPE of apple I had yet to have before (and I’m a whore for apples. Total massive connoisseur. I have a genuine unadulterated and pathetic obsession/passion for applesand if I knew how to have an orchard that’d probably be my dream job. To eventually create a new breed of apple. Shoot me I’m a reject it’s fine. But whatever so I’m guessing that’s around 100 calories cuz that’s what my calorie counter app said and I don’t want to fixate TOO hard (like this massive ass essay isn’t already me doing so) I also had two cookies. That was legitimately bad. 130 calories of SUCK. And my honey needs today got the better of me so dinner was 1/2 a cup of plain oats with a quarter cup of unsweetened coconut milk, a teaspoon of molasses, a teaspoon of flax, annnnnd cold brew. Cuz mama needs her cold brew. And yes I am saying that in the voice of Louside from Bob’s Burgers rn. Fight me. Ik that I’m below my needs. 44 more calories. And I’ve spent an hour and a half writing this (minus the shower break to try to remind myself how fat I am so I’ll keep going and keep calories away from my big face hole’s gluttonous gob). Somehow this doesn’t count as obsessing tho? Lol I’m such a loser. I’m not hungry, but I’m expecting I’m gonna want more of those chips cuz they’re bloody delicious and they’re what fucked me up last night. ‘just a wafer thin crisp’ fuck me.  The worst thing about this whole ordeal is that the calorie tracker I use says I’m on target to be 107 lbs by December 25th. And I totally get that the slower you lose the better chance you have of a. keeping it off. but more importantly, b. not relapsing with anorexia. But like fuckety fuckety fuuuuck. I want to be 99 BEFORE I move. I know that’s crazyballs butI’m just not enjoying the idea of being fat. Well... my version of fat. Which is a bmi above 19.I just wanna get out of the 20s for bmi and get out of the 120s that my fat fuck binging did me in for last night. Waking up at 122 was a recipe for depression.Recipe below: Stir equal parts of lard with shame in a vad of quicksand over the period of ten minutes. Watch as your life congeals into a blimpie’s ad. Die on the pot, puking at 3 am and upsetting the shit out of your house plants. Rinse, Cycle, Repeat. Definitely debating changing the goal. But I also am well aware I shouldn’t, primarily because I might just cement myself to failure if I try to cut my calories any lower than they already are. 1,590 was today. My budget is 1,634. That sounds like such a lot but I do see myself ramming through it right quick. Fuck I want those goddamn tortilla chips. But I fucking know if I nab em I’ll be threatened over the shower drain again. (Another reason for taking my shower now, before there’s enough temptation come along to purge out). I’m fighting so hard the urge to purge or c&s lately. I just want to stop being a fatty fat PIG. Wish me luck guys. Really trying to get these 14-20 lbs off in a logical and healthy way and not become an advert for death by anorexia. 

#anorex #anorexigenic #anore #anorexi #anorexies #anorexie #anamia #anamika #ana #anameal #anameals #anadiet #tw eating issues #tw eating #bulimima #bulimist #anor3xi4 #thin #thins #thinsp #thinspoi #anathinspo #thin recipe #skinny #skinnny #skinnyyy #i wish i was skinnier #skinnnny #i wish to be thinner #i wish i was pretty

[edoro]

WIP ask game: 👀 at 14) Huntlumity wilderness survival fic

ooooh okay, this is a really old one i came up with when i just wanted to kind of shove Hunter and Amity and Luz together into some kind of survival situation - there were a few fics i read at the time that included the idea of them running into each other when Hunter was on a mission and ending up cooperating, and then something went wrong etc, and i wanted to play with it

so in this one, they run into Hunter, and he and Amity start fighting. Luz ends up getting between them trying to make them stop, and gets hit by a spell from Hunter. which does immediately put a stop to it!

Amity makes an abomination to carry Luz away to safety, and Hunter trails after them trying to get Amity to let him help - after all, he's carrying a first aid kit and he has experience with field medicine, more than she does he's sure.

Amity tells him to fuck off and leave them alone, but before she can really drive him off or get away, oops! boiling rain! they have to take shelter in a nearby cave or something, and end up just sort of awkwardly all hanging out.

while they're there, Amity reluctantly lets Hunter look at and try to fix Luz's injury(ies), and they end up talking about stuff.

my outline isn't very thorough and it's old and my brain is soup so tbh i don't remember exactly where i wanted it to go - now i'd probably want to take it in a direction of like, them talking out the whole Eclipse Lake thing, maybe Amity even asking him if it ended up being worth it and him not having a good answer for that at all, probably more of Amity and Luz both trying to convince him Belos sucks and he doesn't have to live that way, idk

i just love it when people end up thrown together into survival situations and become unwilling collaborators! especially when one person knows a lot more than the others, and has to help them survive, and they're forced to rely on someone who is an enemy or at least not really solidly on their side/has uncertain loyalties

#asks #wip game

[whatdoesshedotothem]

Saturday 14 December 1833

9

..

at 12 last night the water was less rough - took a little claret and water which staid on my stomach and from then to 5 a.m. I 2 or 3 times caught myself awaking from a sort of dream - then (at 5 a.m.) took a little more claret and water and a crumb or 2 of bread, but this last would not do - however my stomach did not revolt and I felt better at 9 when the steward came to tell me Lowestoff [Lowestoft] was in sight - I rose from my bench, washed as well as I could and went on deck at 9 ½ for ½ hour - the morning was fine - the fine sea breeze refreshed me - at 10 took a little cold boiled beef and a bottle of sofa water which tho’ not up and good yet was more grateful to me than perhaps anything else could have been - poor Thomas had been as ill as myself and was just calling out for a chop having had nothing since Thursday morning - on advising him to try cold meat, he chose toasted cheese and bread! Eugenie had had wine and water last night, but was still ill with her companion Mrs. Kroger - on deck all the day - at 2 ½ took a little soup - little more cold boiled beet but no relish for it - some hot apple pie and 2 bottles of soda water - on deck again from 3 ¼ to 9 50 when we lay (3 miles below Gravesend) to as I supposed for the night - we had passed the Nore light and entered the river at 5 40 by my watch and 5 by the captain’s and from soon after entering the river had heaved the lead every 4 or 5 minutes or after - it was latterly very dark - we had ¼ less 4 and once even less still and we were afraid of getting wrong - much craft, too, in the river - the Ostend steamer whose light we had seen like a star soon after passing the Nore, passed us and we hailed her at about 9 ½ - she lay to, just before we did, saying it was too much risk to go on - so I went down had a bottle of soda water and one or 2 of my Paris biscuits finding that I had no relish for the little brandy and water I had just tried - nothing like soda water - turned out my travelling bag and crammed all into it I could - was thinking whether to write or lie down, when I felt all stirring went on deck and found us off again and close to Gravesend at 10 40 (I go all along by my own watch) - some delay in taking the 2 tide-waiters on board - spoke to them - no chance of getting my carriage till Monday - walked about on deck a little while and went down to my cabin for the night at 11 - the Bankes arrived on Thursday and the Superb this morning - the Jolliffe and Tourist will surely arrive tomorrow - we passed this morning the companys’ steamer Ramona bound to Hamburg and a Hull steamer bound from London home - good deal of shipping about all today - several coasters (Scotch and coal smacks) in full sail northwards - a fine West India ship they said bound there for coal before going to the W.I. – after Lowestoff [Lowestoft] Orford town and castle belonging to the M. of Hertford, and Orford ness and the 2 fine lighthouses both belonging to the marquis – said our mail guard, one cannot have better property than light-houses – these very good lights – a great deal of traffic this way – every vessel on reaching port says for every light she has passed – perhaps 20 lights from here to Edinburgh and perhaps a smack pays £2 for the whole – all the light houses under the control of the Trinity board. all alterations etc. prescribed by the board must be done – perhaps about ½ the light houses we have are private property – If tree on the coast has long been a landmark, the owner cannot cut it down without putting up a beacon, or lighthouse, or something – our mail guard very communicative – talks of himself and his brother officers – 4 of them altogether I think he said – were all mates of Harwich packets – he 15 years on the Gothenburg station – even these packets (now the only ones from Harwich) to be given up next spring or next year, and the mails conveyed by the Hamburg vessels, the rest of the way to be by Copenhagen – the captains of the Harwich packets were all appointed by interest and knew of their business – there was once a military man made – the mates had charge of working the vessels – ½ a ton is common weight that weights down a buoy – the beacons are fixed in vessels and these vessels weighted down and thus sunk fast into the sand banks – Norroy? Leadenhall street best for sea charts – chart of the n. sea 7/6 – the nore light said our captain fixed in a ship close to the Nore sand – Southend (n) and the Nore (s) form the entrance into the river there about 3 miles broad – and it is fifty miles from the Nore to London – the Downs extend over the Godwin sands, said our captain – our mail guard said they did not begin till Sandown castle ships not always safe there - very  fine day - and very fine evening and night - fine star light and horned moon light for sometime but when we lay to at 9 50 rather obscure - fine against at Gravesend which looked lighted up in a fine crescent of pairs of lights along the water’s edge - did not feel cold on deck

Told the Hull boat that the London (Hull boat) had put into some port in Norway

[eazy-group]

Spiced Carrot and Lentil Soup | Slimming World Friendly Recipe

New Post has been published on https://eazydiet.net/spiced-carrot-and-lentil-soup-slimming-world-friendly-recipe/

Spiced Carrot and Lentil Soup | Slimming World Friendly Recipe

This Carrot and Lentil soup is super cheap to make as well as easy to create and healthy too. It’s full of protein, tasty, really hearty and comforting. This is one of the cheapest soups you can make, and full of flavour. This recipe has been created with Slimming World followers in mind, but it is also suitable for WW followers and someone following a calorie deficit. 

Lentils are a really good budget ingredient and you can buy them in bulk too. Like other pulses, they are a good source of protein, Syn Free when following Slimming World and they are low in fat too. We add lentils to so many dishes like curries or pies to bulk them out in replace of some of the meat to save calories and money.

This soup is one of those throw everything in kinda recipes, so don’t sit there saying you don’t have the time to create a homemade soup! It’s super easy I promise…. Also if you don’t like it too spicy, feel free to remove the chilli powder. 

Why you’ll love this recipe….

Packed full of protein

Great on a budget

Perfect for the whole family

Syn Free when following Slimming World

Low in fat and calories

Great for freezing

Perfect batch cook recipe

A heart filling lunch

Take it in your lunch box

Full of flavour

Only 208 calories per portion

Batch Cook – Storage Information

Fridge: Store leftovers in the fridge in an airtight container for up to 5 days.

Reheat: Reheat in the microwave or on the hob.

Freezer: Allow to cool before placing in a suitable containers. Keep for up to 6 months. Thaw before reheating. 

Is this recipe Slimming World friendly?

Absolutely.. be sure to allow for your Healthy Extra A but the rest of the Ingredients are all classed as Syn Free.

Related Article: What is Healthy Extra A?

Looking to take this soup to work?

My dad actually recommended this product after he started his weight loss journey. He is obsessed with homemade soup (and his soup maker may I add..) and he was desperate to take soup to work. His company is tight and wouldn’t fork out for a microwave so he invested in this awesome soup thermos. It will keep food hot for up to 6 hours! Perfect for soup, porridge, curry etc.

DON’T MISS A SINGLE RECIPE! SIGN UP TO FREE EMAILS BELOW.

Spiced Carrot and Lentil Soup

This Carrot and Lentil soup is super cheap to make as well as easy to make and healthy. It’s full of protein, tasty, really hearty and comforting. This is one of the cheapest soups you can make, and full of flavour. This recipe has been created with Slimming World followers in mind, but it is also suitable for WW followers and someone following a calorie deficit. Nutritional InformationSlimming World Per Portion: Syn Free when using ¼ of 1 Healthy Extra A Weight Watchers: Coming SoonCalories: 208 Per Portion

Course Appetizer, Lunch, Soup

Prep Time 10 minutes minutes

Cook Time 15 minutes minutes

Total Time 25 minutes minutes

1 tsp Cumin

½ tsp Hot Chilli Powder

600g Carrots [Grated]

130g Split Red Lentils

850ml Boiling vegetable Stock

250ml Semi Skimmed Milk

1 tsp Paprika

1 Pinch Salt

Put everything into a pan, cover with a lid and simmer gently for 15 – 20 minutes until everything is cooked.

Whizz with a food processor or hand blender until smooth. Season to taste if required.

Have you created this recipe?

Please let me know how it turned out! Leave a comment below or share a photo on Instagram tagging me at @fatgirlskinny__ and the hashtag #fatgirlskinny.

Related

Source link

[marionrav]

Fast cooking tips

First off, I’m basing this off of my own experience.  I’ve made dinner for my family for the past 10 years or so, and cook for my own breakfast and lunch options most days as well.

1) Dessert first.  If you’re planning to have a dessert, plan on what you want and how you want it first.  99% of fast desserts amount to things like “fruit, with some topping” or “prepared product”.

0 time: cookies,  parfait a likes (pudding / whipped cream / etc, crumbled something sweet like cookies / cake, fruit), ice cream (heat some nuts in butter, hot coffee, pre-prepared sauce, add a piece of cake / pie / cookies)

10 minutes: fruit crumble / crisp, fruit topped with pre-prepared biscuits or crust, pudding, chocolate melted with toppings and broken into a bark

20 - 30 : cake / pie

1 hour + cooling: sweet breads / rolls / flan

2) Plan your plan of attack.  Last night, I had 1/2 cup of leftover gravy, 3/4 of a cup of broth that was used to make the gravy and didn’t go in, some chopped green chiles, and some grilled chicken from the other day.  I planned a tortilla soup (peppers, some tomatoes, the chicken, bake some tortilla strips,) and added some cheese cubes.

Other options with the same starter could be Thai curry (peppers, curry paste in the fridge, coconut milk, chicken.  Vastly improved by a veggie option and maybe some tofu for variety.)  The broth and the gravy could vanish into the curry for added flavor.

You could also easily do a pot pie with gravy / chicken / some sort of crust, but you’d need to pre-cook the veggies to have them catch up with the cooked chicken.

3) What takes the longest?  Get a mental feel for “halfway done” or time frames on food.  So, let’s say you’re doing a salad, a pot roast, and mashed potatoes.  Pot roast takes as long as it wants, but it’s about 20 - 40 minutes in a pressure cooker, depending on how tough your meat is.  Potatoes take 30 minutes to boil on average, but you can check that the pot roast is tender before you put them on just to be safe.  Salad can be done in minutes.

Let’s say you’re doing a steak, baked potatoes, and spinach.  Steak is about 3 - 6 minutes a side, depending on grill heat and thickness.  Baked potatoes are 10 minutes in microwave + 10 minutes at 400 to crisp up, or 30 minutes in an oven depending on size.  Spinach is dependent on the type of greens, but can be almost instant or about 10 minutes.  I’d do the potatoes first, heat up the grill when they’re half done and make sure the spinach is either almost done, or ready to quickly cook before I put the steak on.  Ideally you want food that’s either you watching the stove, or it’s all waiting for you while you step away to watch something else.

4) Do the long stuff with variable timing that can hold and wait first, then do the quick last minute stuff or things that need your attention.  Don’t do a souffle and a steak on the grill and deep fried onion rings unless you’ve got a helper.

5) For quick meals, try to use leftovers or prepared food to fill out one of the categories of the meal.  So, for example, use bread / pasta / rice, or leftover meat.  Try to add interest with texture (brown some cheese on top of bread to go with your soup or make a quesadilla / nachos etc.,) or color (brown gravy, hamburger, and potatoes will look better with anything that isn’t brown, even if it all tastes good.)

6) The general rule for flavor is Sour / Salty / Sweet / Fat.  If something tastes bland, and you’re pretty sure it has all the usual spicing at a sensible amount, try a touch of soy sauce, a little butter, a drop of honey / a squeeze of lime.  Even if you’re rushing, try one of your “add flavor” options to a bit of something that tastes bland to you.  You might discover a flavor you like.

#cooking

[so-called-good-food]

Alright so meal one! This is going to be a pretty non standard post since I'm at the point in my week where I've eaten all of my planned meals and I'm working with whatever is in my fridge. Plus I'm still figuring this blog out! Let me know how this format is.

So let's start with what I'm eating, and move to variations on the theme.

Of course my first post has some controversial ingredients. Irony always finds me. Since this is my first post, I do want to reiterate that I am basing the spoon system off of my own personal spoons. I consider this a low-to-medium spoon meal; it's something I can make after a long day at work with no issue, but your milage may vary. You will have to measure- although eyeballing will work- and there is some timing invoved, but it's not super precise.

Not my prettiest picture; well, it's not the prettiest bowl of food in my defense. It was a very long day and this only takes about 8 minutes. Less, if you're using precooked food; see variations on a theme below.

What I've Made

Tonight I've made a little orzo salad with beets (these are trader Joe's pre-peeled baby beets; I've just halved and sliced them), bosc pears, walnuts, and goat cheese. It's super easy, and listen, this orzo is literally my saving grace on harder nights.

That's the bitch. It lasts forever (I can stretch it to last ~ a month).

It's super quick and easy to cook: one part orzo to two parts broth (add an extra splash or two if you prefer your pasta softer). It cooks in about 7 minutes; usually that's as long as it takes for me to put my shoes away, change out of my work clothes, and do the litter box.

You can substitute this out for rice (especially if you have leftover rice) or your preferred grain, or smaller types of pasta such as stelline. I think canned beans would work as well, just make sure you're only adding a little broth to those, if any at all.

The reason I prefer this orzo is that it comes out perfect even if I forget about it on the stove (you will hear it crackling when it's absorbed all of the broth; it takes a minute to truly burn, and I rely on sound or visual cues sometimes to remind me that yes, I did start cooking). Plus it cooks in one pot and you don't need a strainer, which means less dishes.

Variations on a theme

...in order of least to most amount of spoons needed:

Throw in some of your preferred frozen or canned veggies and a little extra broth and cook them all together.

Use it to bulk up a can of soup (just throw the can of soup over them as they finish cooking; slow releasing carbs like those found in whole wheat pasta or whole grains will help you feel fuller for longer).

Throw in some chopped leafy greens (I love this with kale and parmesan or plain ol' frozen spinach) as well as some extra broth and cook them together.

Add to salads (even if you aren't using lettuce, like I've done here). I've had this with spinach, apple, walnut, and blue cheese before and it is truly *chef's kiss.* I find that I don't need salad dressing, because the orzo when cooked in broth is very flavorful, but feel free to add your preferred toppings and dressing to it. Even some ripped up deli meat and cheese would be tasty! I'm a big advocate for ripping up soft food with your hands. Save a cutting board; go ape shit.

Try adding an egg on top for extra protien; soft boiled eggs take about 6 minutes to cook and will be done alongside your pasta.

Serve with some roasted veggies and a source of protien: tofu, chicken, an egg, etc. A lot of stores carry pre-cooked chicken for salads that would work perfect for this.

And... Woohoo! That's my first post on this blog. I'm still figuring this all out; let me know how this works out for y'all, and if you have any questions, never hesitate to reach out!

#low spoons #medium spoons #tips #vegan friendly #i guess? like i said #you could use rice or honestly any other type of grain in the pasta's place

[grabyourluck-blog]

Just Starting in Online Marketing?

New Post has been published on https://www.referral-master.com/just-starting-in-online-marketing-2/

Just Starting in Online Marketing?

Sorry, But You’re Too Late

It’s a fact that the vast majority of the great online marketing ideas have already been thought of and executed.

Do you really think you’re going to invent the next greatest thing?

Maybe the social media platform that puts Facebook in its grave?

Or the marketing course that makes everyone else throw up their hands and go home?

Or maybe the dating app that makes all the other ones shut down?

Nope.

Sorry, but the odds of that are about as good as getting hit by lightning twice.

Mind you, I’m not saying it couldn’t happen. I’m just saying it’s not likely.

But here’s the good news – you don’t have to invent something radically new that changes the world as we know it.

You don’t even have to have an idea no one else has thought of before.

The smart marketer knows that you can take the best ideas out there and re-use them to make them new again.

Now before you get in a tizzy, let me say this: It’s not unethical to repackage information or use someone else’s marketing techniques, as long as you change it.

Obviously you’re not going to just rip something off and do exactly what’s been done, or use exactly the same copy, the same product, etc.

No sir. You’re not going to rip anybody off.

But the fact is, the best ideas have already been used. But there is no reason why you can’t make them your own.

Walk into a bookstore, go to the non-fiction section and you will find hundreds of books that have basically the same information as thousands of books that came before them.

Yet these books are selling.

Why? Because the authors put their own unique spin on the information.

Let me use a cake recipe to illustrate: Let’s say you want to sell your own cake recipe. Are you going to start with a whole new list of ingredients that no one has ever put in a cake before?

For example, “To bake this cake, you’ll need 2 cups of chopped chicken, a package of onion soup, 6 fresh catnip leaves, one half cup of coffee, 12 dill pickles, 2 boiled eggs, a pound of potato peels…”

You get the idea.

Of course you’re going to start with flour, sugar, butter, baking soda or baking powder, etc.

You’re going to use the exact same basic ingredients that a million chefs and cooks have used before you.

But you’re going to put your own twist on your recipe.

Maybe you add maraschino cherries and cinnamon. Or peppermint extract and dark chocolate. Or blueberries and lemon juice.

It’s still a cake recipe, and it’s not all that different from other cake recipes, except that you put your own twist on it.

Stop trying to come up with a world-shattering idea and simply look around at what’s working and what resonates with you.

Take that information and make it your own.

And then teach what you learned.

It’s so simple, and you don’t need an amazing idea.

Now here’s where a lot of people get bogged down – they think it’s unethical to take information they got elsewhere and make it their own.

So let’s put some context on this…

You go to college for 4 years. For this privilege, you pay a great deal of money. Professors and textbooks teach you a whole lot of knowledge that THEY DID NOT THINK OF FIRST.

That’s right – it’s what you might call regurgitated info, in that other people discovered it, came up with it and so forth.

But they are getting paid to teach it to you anyway.

Then what happens?

You go out and get a job, where you use this same information. And you get PAID for it, too.

So now then, here’s your question: How is this any different from taking information that’s already available, putting your own unique spin on it, and selling that same information?

You are doing the same thing the professors and the college are doing. And you’re doing the same thing anyone who gets a job and uses this info in their job is doing.

You’re just doing it online.

Now then – feel better?

Good.

Because for many of you, I have just removed your very last excuse for not making your own product.

Assuming you already have your niche picked out, go find your very favorite products in that niche. Study them. Learn all you can. Put the information to work in your business or your life.

And then make your own product with your own unique personality and skill set.

I know you can make it a success, and you don’t even have to invent the wheel to do it.

[everythingisawayoflife]

sooooo, my first post about sickfic tropes just kinda sat collecting dust until recently when it blew up like crazy so, i guess i’m gonna make another one? i might repeat some stuff but here are more tropes that make me gush :) oh and tw for emeto just to let you know.

i saw a post about this earlier but when A has a chest cold and B tenderly rubs their chest to sooth the aches or rubs Vaporub on them like thats very sweet

something about the line “I don’t feel good” or “I don’t feel (very) well” is so adorable (bonus pts if A cuddles up to B while saying so)

when B dotes over a slightly annoyed A but B only does so because they’re worried

when a fever slowly overtakes A and makes them sicker as the hours go on (like they wake up fine but around noon they feel like absolute shit)

When A starts crying over a tiny little thing that frustrates them and when B goes over to comfort them, they realize oh shit they’re really sick

A being carried bridal style to a bed or couch or something when they pass out or if they’re too sick to walk

A being too exhausted to do anything

A apologizing for being sick and B quickly reassuring them it isn’t their fault

BREAKFAST IN BED OR ANY SORT OF MEAL IN BED WHILE B SITS AND CHATS WITH A

When B initally assumes a stand-offish A is just tired but when B sees them asleep on a couch and gets closer to A, B realizes that A is actually very sick

A waking up B in the middle of the night by coughing super hard and not being able to contain it (bonus pts if B rubs their back while they suffer the worst of their coughing fit)

B waking up to realizing A isn’t in bed with them and finding them crouched over the toilet, extremely nauseous

picture this: B is standing besides A’s bed while taking their temperature and A just leans their fevered forehead into B’s stomach while B runs their fingers thru A’s sweaty hair

when A is so congested, they talk funny

when it HURTS TO BREATHE (is that violent)

Let’s say A is crazy delirious and B has been tending to then all day and out of nowhere, A mistakes B for someone else like a mother or father figure and it just tugs on B’s heartstrings seeing A in such a vulnerable position

When A has to steady themselves on something so they don’t fall over

AFFECTIONATE NICKNAMES (baby, honey, my love, my darling, dear, sweetheart, etc)

examples: “oh honey, you don’t look so good” “you’ve got the flu, baby” “Stay in bed, sweetheart, I’ll be right back” “It’s okay, dear. It was just a fever dream” “You look pale, darling, are you sure you’re okay?”

y’all better be taking notes on these

B talking in hushed tones so they don’t make A’s headache or migraine any worse

shivering (bonus pts if the sick person feels freezing but to someone else, they’re on fire)

when A is super pale with the exception of this feverish blush across their face

FLU SEASON

when A is the type to be like “psh no I never get sick” and while that has been true, their streak is broken and they refuse to admit it

or, alternatively, A never gets sick but when they do, it’s very bad

“Will you stay?” “Of course I will.”

When A says “I’m so tired” in a very dry tone before passing out

A has a sore throat and when B looks to check it, their throat is all red and swollen (i’m a squeamish person but I like very good descriptions of someone who is sick)

When B says to a crying and feverish A, “Hey, it’s okay, you’re gonna be okay. Don’t cry, you’re only gonna make yourself sicker.”

B absolutely refusing to leave A’s side while they suffer, even though they’re barely getting any sleep

“You need to lie down.”

“Shh, stay down, your fever is too high.”

If you’ve heard the song “Wonderful Tonight” by Eric Clapton, it’s actually a somewhat whumpy song (covering this in the next few bulletpoints)

It’s based on something that happened with Clapton and his wife before going to a party thrown by George Harrison, I believe

The lyrics detail a man telling his wife she looks “wonderful tonight”. First when she’s getting ready, next when she asks him if he’s okay and he says he feels wonderful, and thirdly, he tells her while he is bedridden that she was wonderful tonight

The wife asks him if he feels alright and he responds with that he feels wonderful but later goes home due to an “aching head”—now he could just be drunk but I like to picture it as that he is sick and denies it throughout the night but they go home early because his wife realized how sick he was and drives him home because he’s too ill to do it himself and she later puts him straight to bed

that’s just my interpretation and it’s probably an incorrect one but I like to think that this is the case when I listen to the song

A claiming they are just tired the night before and then waking up the next day feeling and looking horribly

A being covered in a ridiculous amount of layers because they’re so fucking cold

or alternatively, they kick off everything that’s on them because they’re boiling

A deliriously telling B “you take such good care of me” with a dopey smile on their face

B helping A sit upright since they can’t do it themselves

Another picture this: A and B go to this party (separately, they aren’t together yet) and A finds themself feeling worse as the night goes on and eventually decides to take a nap on the thrower of the party’s couch because they’re “just a little tired, that’s all”. B wakes up in a completely different place only to find out A drove them to their place and tended to them through the night

i feel like no one talks about ear infections enough? i had one when i was little and even though i don’t remember much about it, i remember crying because it hurt a lot and i never wanna go through that much pain again

when B initially makes fun of A for being congested and having a funny voice and then becomes more caring and serious when A takes a turn for the worse

“I’b not sick *loud snort*”

when B makes A tea with honey to soothe their sore throat (or chicken noodle soup)

cold washcloths for a hot forehead

“You’re running a temperature”

“You’re burning up”

When B still wants to cuddle and touch A despite A protesting that B will catch whatever A has

When A’s sleeping and B throws a blanket over their shoulders

B forcing A to sit or lie down by pressing on their shoulders

When B’s hands move up from A’s neck to cheeks to forehead when checking for a temperature

i said this before but kissing A’s forehead to check for a fever

A being like “B, I think I’m gonna—” before taking off the find the nearest container to vomit into

or alternatively, not being able to make it in time and throwing up on the floor and feeling really guilty for it

A curling into themselves when they have an upset stomach or just really bad aches and cramps (bonus pts if they’re near tears or are already in tears)

B using homemade remedies to try and make A feel better and not being able to make it like “mom/grandma used to”

A walking around the house, hunched over and dragging a long blanket around the house

#sickfic #whump #fever whump #flu #fever #emeto tw #vomiting #whump community #whump prompts #fainting #nausea #congestion #fanfiction #sickfics #this post is longggg #the way i can write a bunch of prompts but when it comes to actual writing #i cant do shit