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#i just want her to exist in the mcu
nikkoliferous · 8 months
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after reading the one hundred and one millionth inane quote about how Loki is such a pRiViLeGeD pRiNcE while Sylvie is just a poor baby who had no real childhood and had to learn to fend for herself from a young age, I feel the need to point out that even the ONE thing we know about Sylvie's past, the thing that's supposed to be her mAjOr tRaUmA and set her apart from him somehow, was literally stolen from Loki.
this is how Tom described Loki's experience post-suicide attempt back in the day while doing press for Avengers:
“I think he went, like with everything else, to a sort of… it was just like, the worst place imaginable. I think he went to all of the darkest recesses of the universe. I’m sure he had a brush with—several brushes with death. I think he ran into the shadiest characters you can find in the Nine Realms. I think he had to rely on his wits to protect himself. It was really, really, really unpleasant, I think. I don’t have any frame of reference for that, except for imagining what it might be like to be kidnapped by a terrorist or something and have to survive a very, very frightening and precarious existence. But whatever it was, it was important when Loki came back for The Avengers, that whatever compassion he had left was absolutely shriveled to a minimum because of the experience that he had. Harrowing, I think, and scarring for life—in a way that Thor and Odin and Frigga find very, very difficult to understand.” [source]
and now the show pretends that Loki teamed up with Thanos completely of his own will, even though Marvel had JUST confirmed that the sceptre was influencing him throughout Avengers, and they hand that traumatic backstory that was Loki's off to their precious OC.
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ayyeeequality · 6 months
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personally, I don't really like Sylvie
however
I do find it really amusing that the creators did such a poor job at giving us explicitly genderfluid Loki that they accidentally created a whole new trans coded character
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on one hand I wanna write my fic ideas wherein my marvel oc gets sent to the alternate universe of Gotham and hijinks ensue whilst she tries to survive and get back and the batfam and such slowly learn more info abt her world and how it's being threatened atm and she needs to go back and help and whatnot.
But on the other hand, the readers wouldn't know the marvel related backstory of this OC and would have. No context for her going in
But ALSO then the readers would know abt as much abt this mysterious figure as the batcrew do, and get to learn via flash backs and her slowly revealing info to them as safety allows
Then there's also just a general. Idk if there's any sort of oc etiquette when it comes to writing oc centered fics? My brain goes so hogwild when I read anything that I usually avoid oc fics other people write just bc I usually read and enjoy fics at face value but I also go "now what would happen if this OC was here?" And that gets real complicated when other people's ocs are involved
#jasper rambles#this is a rambly one yall#fanfic discussion#fanfic etiquette?#i just. listen. i made a vampire oc for captain america specifically of the mcu.. and i was thinking and like. gotham is the Perfect City fo#r a vampire to live right. so like. then i was like what would she do if she ended up in gotham. how would that go. and then i could reveal#her marvel backstory thru tidbits she drops and flashbacks. bc i have her mcu timeline pretty well planned out#tho also her existence (along w a few pther ocs) drastically changes the course of the mcu so some things hapen VERY differently (mainly civ#il war and then the start of the following arcs) so like id aalso have to reveal where the canon divergence from the mcu is during the flash#backs. and then ALSO i have a p decent grasp of the batfam and whatnot but i havent had the oppurtunity to read many comics so i dont even.#what if i just FAIL at their characterization and im actually wronf magically#and then ALSO comes the question of should i include my batman dc oc? bc SHES a whole. package. theres a LOT to unpack w her. tho for this s#pecific fic idea i think itd be fun to just. have her be Another Batfam Member. like yeah shes got her own stuff going on. but this fic woul#dnt dive into it anymore than it dives into the other batfam members#the other issue is deciding where in the mcu timeline this oc gets thrown into an au and why and how or if that affects the mcu timeline fro#m there. cuz thatd need to be decided for the sake of flashbacks. and if im gonna ise flashbacks id love to try and plan it out so it aligns#with the plot happening in gotham. i dont necessarily want like. a running Plot in the flashbacks. but id want them to be scenes from her li#fe in mcu that reveaal stuff that helps understand the decisions she makes in the gotham plot#but ALSO in the gotham plot. id wanna have it either be that her presence has caused some sort of ripple that the gotham baddies are using t#o hirt people or else some other unrelated gotham baddies plot is happening and this oc being herself sees trouble and runs towards it to tr#y and help people. even tho she has her own stuff to deal w. and then makes herself a target of the gangs and also potentially screws someth#ings up bc she doesnt have as intimate of knowledge abt the baddies and gangs as the batfam do since most of em grew up in the streets of g#otham one way or another#so like. and like she can hold her own. she was a young woman in brooklyn in the 30/40s. but its still a different environment in gotham rat#her than in brooklyn new york. so itd be. yeah. tbh i feel like the fact that im putting this much thought into it means i will probably try#to write and post it on ao3. idk when tho. im trying not to post more fics on ao3 so i can focus on my xmen fic#sso. anyway if you read all this feel free to share your thoughts and or like. sorry not sorry for the rambly essay of tags <3#i told you jasper rambles
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ccrv-7 · 1 year
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skimmed through annihilation conquest again. looks at this comic. looks at the mcu. stares directly into camera
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lovers-instead · 2 years
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Gabe is here!!!!!
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oflgtfol · 2 years
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i think the thing that inherently irks me about “lady thor” or “she-hulk” is just that like. hulk and thor are iconic male characters. it feels patronizing and frankly stupid to just take a pre-existing male character, make a woman version, and act like the woman is like. her own character. like you are quite literally using a man as a blueprint instead of letting female characters just… exist, on their own. they aren’t even allowed to have their own fucking names, for christs sake, like theyre literally named “this iconic male character, but FEEEEEMALEEEEE” and along those lines, it’s like. spiderman, or captain america, or similar superheroes, it’s like. their superhero names are Titles, rather than actual personal names. thats why spiderman can be people other than peter parker, and captain america can be someone other than steve rogers, because spiderman is a role that peter parker inhabits, and captain american is a role that steve rogers inhabits. but thor? thor is the guy’s NAME. that’s his NAME. that’s not his role or a title like THAT’S HIS BIRTH NAME. how can you be LADY THOR? that’s like seeing your neighbor and then saying I’M THE LADY VERSION OF YOU. like what the fuck man? that’s some sort of impersonation. it just feels wrong. same with she-hulk but now there’s an additional layer of dehumanization to it because the “she-“ prefix is mostly used on like, fucking animals. like “she-wolf” or some shit. 
tl;dr i just do not understand why they cannot make female characters who stand on their own. why must they be a female version of a pre-existing man. why cant they have their own powers and their own fucking names at the very least. and then when you’re frustrated with these characters apparently you’re like, sexist, for not enjoying the fact that women in fiction can only ever exist as empty shadows of their male counterparts. Lol
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zmbiicrsh · 2 years
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i want fics of my comfort characters just existing yk?? like i want to read abt all they do in a day. or maybe them with their favorite canonical person and see how they react.
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mobiues · 2 years
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i am going to be so controversial right now but i think episode 1 of the loki series might just be my favourite simply because the premise of the first episode was so promising. in fact, critically analysing the show, the theme of loki having had to outrun the title of villainy and yet not quite folding into the mold of a hero would have been so outrageously gorgeous to explore. people praise agent of asgard, and honestly, i don’t see that much of a difference between what the loki series wanted to do vs. what has been written — until the writers of the series completely forgot what it was that made loki so appealing in the first place (his ambiguous alignment and his overall morally grey character), and many heavier themes are sacrificed for a warped romantic story that hadn’t needed to be told in the first place
#i am once again back on my bullshit because i think the idea that self love#needed to be visualised the way it had been with the whole s*lvie and l*ki is so unnecessary#because there are TONS of movies and stories out there#about individuals struggling with self-acceptance and self-love#and they react in such a questionable or damaging ways#that would've been so fun to explore in l*ki's perspective#from loki's questionable character#like coming out of age-ish genre?? would've been so fun to infuse#even if tom is already well in his 40s#because what if the discovery of sense of self if not you feeling too young and too old in your own skin#and thinking about it now... s*lvie's character would've been such a nice contrast#of a l*ki who has went too rogue; too deep-set in her revenge to come back#vs. this l*ki whom after the invasion of new york is still particularly new from the wounds#we know he carried in the mcu since hasn't experienced it yet; not by himself#like i could go on and on#people are so insistent that s*lvie is her own character#which is fine! but u have to understand she too is a l*ki and i wish she would've written more with that in mind#because l*kis are so interesting to explore in and of itself; in whatever version they existed with or upon#like im not sure if im making sense but ..... i just wish people care more to explore character study when they say they want to#anyways ep 2 shouldve been my fave cause of mobius' gorgeous gorgeous involvement#but ep 1 is so chef's kiss... i love the potential.#that would for sure be my favourite#gen: out of character.
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rogersstevie · 1 month
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i can't lie i do think it's funny when people wanted a romantic relationship from the comics in the mcu and just take scraps to put edits together
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avatar-aaang · 2 years
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I think the she hulk show wants to be serious but is riddled by the mcu Must Be Funny standards so it feels conflicted but anyway Tatiana hot and that ripped suit, messy hair look she was sporting post transformation at the end of ep one was so good and sexy tbh
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lordofthedumpster · 2 years
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venuslore · 2 months
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𖥔 𝐒𝐄𝐂𝐑𝐄𝐓 𝐕𝐀𝐋𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐄 𖥔
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summary ; your valentine’s day takes a turn when what you think is just a surprise from peter turns out to be a lot more than you bargained for.
pairing ; mcu!peter parker x fem!reader
notes ; fluff, some mentions of anxiety, but mostly just peter being an oblivious lil himbo baby! this is a repost from my old acc x
do not transfer, translate or share my work to any other sites.
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with valentine’s day just around the corner, it was easy to find yourself paranoid about the entire holiday and what exactly it meant for you and peter. 
while for most people, it was a celebration of love and being able to embrace that, for you, it had become an anxiety-induced menace of a day that had you second-guessing everything.
the worst part of all was that you and peter technically weren’t together. 
yet, as the days grew closer and you continued to get your hopes up, it was hard not to feel disheartened when he hadn’t uttered a single word about it. leading you to wonder if he had even given it any thought or if you were simply just getting in over your head about the whole thing. 
to any stranger passing you by on the street and witnessing just how affectionate you were with each other, you looked like a couple. heck, you had even shared the occasional kiss, sometimes a little more, and on days when you would go to his apartment to study, it was never long before you’d find yourself snuggling in his bed while he tried to do homework over the top of you.
you never really cared to put a label on your situationship until now, and mostly because you didn’t think you had to. 
but when the day finally arrives and peter was yet to exhibit any efforts in the name of romance, you were devastated. 
“so, he really hasn’t said anything?” mj asks as you head to your locker, having just finished your last class of the day. 
“nope. not a word,” you shake your head.
with her brows furrowing into a scowl, mj exhales, “man, i really thought he would have. i mean… it’s peter. the dude is literally the biggest softie i have ever met.”
despite the sadness you were feeling, you couldn’t help but crack a smile at your best friend’s words. she was the only one that knew how strongly you felt for peter. 
after all, she was the one to point it out.
“i don’t know, maybe i’m just looking too much into it?” you lift your shoulders into a shrug at the same time you reach your locker. 
“well, speak of the devil,” mj gestures towards the end of the hallway where peter and ned had just rounded the corner. 
it only takes them a moment to catch sight of you, and when they do, peter beams with a smile and waves before heading in your direction. even as they passed by multiple girls carrying flowers and the various heart-shaped decorations scattered all over the halls, peter still hadn’t noticed.
“hey! ned and i were talking about going back to mine to study for that test we have coming up, and maybe watch a movie. you guys in?” he asks, tugging on the straps of his bag, completely ignorant to his surroundings. 
it was like he had forgotten about the holiday’s existence altogether, or he was actively trying to avoid it. but why?
“i can’t. i, uh, i actually have a date tonight,” mj says, tucking her hair behind her ear as all eyes turn in her direction. 
“wait, what? with who?” you ask, this being the first you were hearing about it. honestly, you were surprised she had even told you at all. 
shaking her head, she looks down at her feet and shrugs, “just this guy. it doesn’t matter. but, uh, y/n is free tonight so… there’s that.”
the second the words leave her lips, peter’s attention returns to you. and you weren’t entirely sure, but it almost looked like he was relieved that you had no plans. 
a small smile dangled on the corner of his mouth, and his deep brown eyes softened as they met yours. “oh, okay. well, uh, do you want to join us?” he sort of fumbles over his words. 
while it wasn’t exactly what you had imagined spending the most romantic day of the year with peter would be like, it beat having to sit at home alone wallowing in your own self-pity. even if it was with the person causing it… and ned.
you open your mouth to speak when you’re interrupted by ned’s phone.
“actually, change of plans,” he says. “it’s betty… and she wants to see a movie tonight.”
“i thought you two broke up?” mj narrows her eyes with confusion. 
“we did… but maybe she wants to get back together?” he turns to peter with hopeful eyes, and after a moment, the other boy gives him a nudge. 
“dude, go!” he laughs. and just like that, ned rushes down the hall in search of betty, leaving the three of you dumbfounded as you let out a chorus of chuckles. 
“on that note, i better get going too,” mj says once the laughter faded into sighs and points the same way ned had gone. “i’ll see you losers monday. have fun, studying.”
rolling your eyes, you wave goodbye to the girl, as the thought of being alone with peter all night creeps into your mind. 
the idea alone causes your heart to fasten, thrumming loudly in your ears as your mouth becomes dry with nerves. it wasn’t like you at all to be so anxious around peter, and so much so that you almost couldn’t think straight. he was typically the one person you went to when you needed things to slow down, not make them difficult. 
you try to play off the effect he was having on you as you close your locker and swing your bag over your shoulder, but the second your gaze meets his again, it only seems to amplify. 
“so, it looks like it’s just you and me,” he shuffles awkwardly on his feet, tightening his grip on his bag straps once more. 
“uh, yeah. looks like it.” you smile, swallowing the ball that had formed in your throat, and the two of you slowly head towards the exit. 
the walk back to his apartment is quiet at first, but the second peter starts talking about the chemistry assignment he had coming up, there was no stopping him. though, you couldn’t shake the feeling like he was purposely trying to prolong the walk. 
he insisted that you take the longer route, which you never do, and he even slowed down his pace through the park. and as you were passing the deli-grocery, he stopped off to buy you both a sandwich, which wasn’t completely out of the ordinary, but it did add another fifteen minutes to your time. 
it was like he didn’t want to get back to the apartment, like the thought of being fully alone with you was something he didn’t want to partake in. 
when you do finally reach the apartment, however, he fumbles to unlock the door and almost drops the keys in the process, but the second it’s open, you’re hesitant to even step inside. you had been there a million times before but this time, for whatever reason, felt different. 
you wondered if it really were such a good idea for you to be there, to be alone with him when he was clearly opposed to the idea. which was odd considering he had been the one to initiate you going over there in the first place.
“do you want a drink or anything?” he asks as he passes the kitchen to put his bag in his room. 
most days, you would follow him straight to his room, sometimes even beating him there, but with how he had been acting, it just didn’t feel right. so you lingered in the living room instead. 
at least, until he pops his head out of the door, and with a reassuring smile surfacing on his lips, he gestures for you to follow. 
“we’ve got water, juice or soda?” he asks as you enter the room, dropping his bag at the foot of his bed. 
“water is fine,” you nod. 
“okay, give me a sec,” he nods back, and having to cram past you to get out of the door, his hand runs down your arm so to not squish you. the touch immediately sends a pulse throughout your body, causing you to let out a small gasp. 
you were just grateful peter was far enough away that he hadn’t heard it, or if he did, he didn’t show it. 
with peter leaving you alone in his room, you take the chance to take it all in like you hadn’t been there before. you drop your bag beside his and slip out of your jacket before falling into a stupor on his bed. 
peter’s room had always been comforting to you, though, since the blip, it didn’t quite feel like it was his anymore. 
like everyone else that tragically disappeared, peter lost the majority of his belongings, as did you, but he no longer had any of his action figures or comic books. even the nerdy science posters that you would pick on him for, or his lego models - all the things that made peter’s room… his… was all gone. 
shaking away the thoughts, you bury yourself in the comfort of his sheets, letting your fingers dance across the cotton as you wait for him to return. but when you move to grab your phone from your jacket pocket, something in the corner of your eye catches your attention. 
it was the smallest glimmer of something red inside his closet, and the door was only open a crack, but it was enough to make your thoughts go wild. 
was it possible that peter had bought you something for valentine’s day and this whole thing was just a ruse to get you alone with him? were ned and mj in on it? or had he decided against it, thinking that maybe it was too much, and that’s why it was hidden away in his closet?
perhaps that was why he had been acting so strange and why he had been pretending like today was nothing but any other regular day?
however, before you get the chance to relieve your suspicions, peter walks back in with two glasses of water, and when he sees that you had already made yourself comfortable, he draws in his bottom lip as a nervous smile takes hold of his features. 
“something tells me you have absolutely no intention of studying,” he shakes his head. 
“something tells me you’re right.” you pat the spot beside you, and he obliges, pulling his laptop from the desk beside the bed and finding a movie for you both to watch. 
while you enjoyed laying with peter in comfortable silence, watching the film he had chosen, you couldn’t stop thinking about what was in his closet. the tiny sliver of red teasing you from between the slats, begging for you to confront it. 
nevertheless, it takes two hours for peter to finally leave the room again, and within that time, he hadn’t mentioned it at all. which only made you all the more curious. 
so the second he stepped out of the room, you set into motion to find out what it was he was hiding. and you knew you shouldn’t have, but not knowing was killing you, and you simply couldn’t help yourself. 
you tip-toe across the floor, avoiding the creaky spot in the middle, and after a deep breath, you slowly open the door. though, what you were expecting to be a heart-shaped balloon or a cute stuffed animal that said something like ‘be my valentine?’ on the front, was far from what you had imagined. 
instead, hanging on the metal rod was a suit. a suit that you would recognise absolutely anywhere with it’s distinct red and black colours, and who could forget the unmistakable mask with its intricate detailing. 
then it hits you, and a shiver of realisation rolls down your spine. 
setting out a gasp, you drop the suit to the floor and stumble back into the bed, knocking over a book in the process. you couldn’t believe what you had just discovered, and you barely get a moment to collect yourself before peter comes running to the door. 
“hey, are you-” he stops the second he sees the suit, his smile falling as he takes in your bewildered state and it transforms into a look of horror. 
“peter, i-”
“shit,” he exhales, cutting you off as he reaches for the material and throws it back into his closet as fast as he can, despite knowing that the damage was already done. “don’t look at that. that’s nothing. completely and totally nothing.”
“peter, was that - are you?” you try to get the words out, but you’re still in so much shock that it seems near impossible to do so.
“no. nope. It’s not…” he shakes his head rapidly, leaning against the closet now. “it was, uh, it was a gift from may. she knows i like superheroes, so, y'know?”
“peter…”
“it’s nothing, really. i promise. it was just a-”
“peter…”
“i was thinking of maybe even wearing it for halloween this year, what do you think? you could go as black widow, or umm, captain marvel?”
“peter!” this time when you say his name, he stops talking, realising that there was no way he was going to get out of this. and if he did, it would be a miracle. but you were smart, smart enough not to believe the nonsense that was pouring out of his mouth, and know that this was for real. 
his head falls with defeat, and he drags himself to sit beside you. the air was heavy now, filled with worry as he tried to choose his words carefully. there were only so many ways you could tell someone you had a secret identity being a superhero and he had wanted to do it perfectly - but most importantly, not like this. 
“look, i - i hated not being able to tell you but if everyone knew who i was then my life wouldn’t be the same anymore." 
"but, this is me we’re talking about peter. i’m the same person that knows you still wear star wars underwear, and that you secretly love it when i choose to watch twilight on movie night.” you sigh, shoulders slumping slightly. “you can tell me anything.”
his eyes soften at your remark, and the ghost of a smile tugs at the corner of his lips. “i know, but i wanted… i wanted to keep you safe. there are bad guys out there that would like to come after spider-man and you knowing who i am, only puts you in danger." 
"who else knows?" 
"may, ned and… mj.”
“mj?” you retort. 
“to be fair, i didn’t tell her. she worked it out herself and i swore her to secrecy so don’t be angry at her for not telling you.” he raises a finger to further prove his point. “i was actually planning on telling you about it tonight, but every time i thought about it, i got nervous and i couldn’t do it.”
“so that’s why you’ve been acting so weird?” you ask, nudging the boy’s shoulder playfully as relief washes over you. “and here i am thinking that it was me. the only reason i looked in your closet was because i… i thought… never mind it’s stupid.”
he chuckles, “no. you have to tell me now!”
you let your head fall back for a moment, and after letting out a deep breath, you sway your head back down. “okay. i saw the red through the cracks and i thought that maybe… it was a valentine’s day present. i know we never really put a label on… us… but i just, i don’t know, i thought that maybe that’s where we were and-”
your words turn into muffles as peter presses his lips to yours in a swift movement, and you’re taken back by his actions but you don’t push him off. your body feels electric and you kiss him back with a smile, sinking into it more before he pulls away. 
he doesn’t pull back much, and instead, rests his forehead against yours as you both try to catch your breath. your heart thumps in your chest and you’re still so close that you were sharing the same air. 
peter had kissed you many of times before, some of them turning into heated make-out sessions but this was different to any of those. this had purpose. 
“sorry, you were rambling and i couldn’t help myself.” a coy smile flashes across his face for a moment, before being replaced with a look of uncertainty. “was that enough for you to see how i feel about you? or would you rather i change my relationship status too? or i could just post to the entire world about how much i love you?”
upon hearing the words, you pull away and a shallow gasp escapes you. you weren’t sure if peter had meant to say it, but whether he did or not, it was out there now and your heart pangs inside your chest as your stomach fills with butterflies. 
“you love me?” you say between breaths and disbelief in your eyes. 
he lets out a nervous laugh as his cheeks redden, and his fingers play with the folds of his shirt. “i mean, yeah… you’re kinda my favourite person in existence. it’d be hard not to.”
“really?”
he nods and walks back over to the closet. “yeah. also if you had of looked in the other side of my closet you would’ve seen this…" 
you watch as he opens the closet door to reveal a beautiful bouquet of white and red flowers all wrapped up in bright red paper.
"i was going to give it to you when i told you about… y'know…” he widens his eyes. “but you sort of did that for me… plus, there was also this.”
this time he pulls out a small bag, something that you’d find at a jewellery store, and hands it to you. you look to him as though to be asking permission to open it, and he nods, gesturing for you to do so before leaning against his desk. 
“it’s not a lot, and i’ve been saving for a while now to get it for you, but if you don’t like it then we can exchange it or get something else…”
opening the bag, you find a small box with gold detailing around the sides. and when you open it, inside sits a bracelet decorated with charms, but the one in the middle, that you can’t really see unless you’re looking close enough is a 'p’.
after a moment of basking in the sentiment of it all, you lean back and give him a warm smile. 
“i love it,” you say, tears slowly starting to brim your eyes as your mouth involuntarily starts to crease. “and i love you.”
“yeah?” peter’s brows twitch, his eyes never leaving yours, and he lifts your palm to his lips for a feather-light kiss. he barely touches you, but it sets your skin alight. 
then all of your focus is on him as you stand to meet him, enveloping him in another kiss. hands moving along his chest to fall behind his neck as he wraps his own around your waist and holds you tight. pulling you as close to him as humanly possible. 
when you do finally pull apart, he clasps the bracelet around your wrist before you slide your fingers through his, savouring the warmth of his skin against yours. 
“so, since you have two identities does that mean i get double the love?” you let out a small chuckle and peter matches it. 
“i think i could manage that.” he says and places one more kiss on the tip of your nose. 
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Tattooed heart
Pairing: Elizabeth Olsen x Fem!Reader
Summary: You have tattoos everywhere and your girlfriend suffers from severe anxiety. You learned to walk around with Sharpies to help her out.
Disclaimer: English is not my first language. TW for anxiety attacks.
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MASTERLIST
The room was crowded to the point where you couldn’t even see the exit doors in the back.
That always made you a bit nervous, of course, but mostly because it usually meant your interview would go on forever until people were satisfied by it. Those types of venues were always endless, but it was even worse when there were so many people attending the panels. Don’t get it wrong, you love attending the coms and meeting the fans to debate the characters and movies, and just the entire MCU universe as a whole, but you were only human and, after spending so long being a part of this, you got a bit tired.
Although the interview was going on forever, you weren’t surprised by the amount of people reunited to see you guys talking. It was hard to have most of the Marvel actors in one single interview, after all, so you were already expecting people to crowd the room and want to ask everyone a million questions. The new Avengers movie was coming up, the trailer had dropped just the day prior, and people were excited to know more. You couldn’t blame them.
You had been listening to Evans give out an overly complex reply to a question someone made him for a while now when you noticed Elizabeth squirming in her chair beside you. She was sitting to your right at the large table where you all were and she had answered a few questions as well, although that was the first time you noticed that she wasn’t moving out of boredom or to adjust in her chair again. She was restless, you noticed by the way she looked down at her legs and by the way her fingers pulled at her dress as if she was trying to get rid of a crinkle that didn’t exist.
Over the years, you learned to read her.
When you first met, three years ago, you were immediately drawn to Elizabeth. At the time, she had red hair thanks to her Marvel character, she was wearing black clothes and she had a fake scar above her eyebrow since you met between takes of the new movie you were both going to be a part of. That wasn’t your first Marvel movie, neither was hers, but that was the first time you were going to share the screen. You had heard about her before, obviously, but nothing had prepared you for how it would feel to meet Elizabeth Olsen in person.
You felt attracted to her since the first day, but you weren’t brave enough to make a move, so you spent the next two months of shooting crushing on her in silence - at least to her because you sang like a canary to all of your castmates to the point where they had to make an intervention because no one could take more of your daydreaming about Elizabeth without doing anything about it. That worked, though, and you found yourself sweating like crazy just a week before the movie wrapped while you waited for Elizabeth to finish her scenes for the day.
You had been nervous for no reason, as your castmates predicted, because Elizabeth said ‘yes’ after you managed to spit out your question and you both went for your first date two days later. That night, Elizabeth admitted she wanted to ask you out since the first day too, but she couldn’t bring herself to do it.
“I’m glad you’re more brave than I am,” she whispered shyly when you were holding hands on top of the table. “I’m too anxious to have managed to actually ask you out.”
But that had been it.
You have been inseparable ever since.
Well, besides when you were both working, of course. You hadn’t made any more movies together since your characters took different turns, but you and Elizabeth were able to move heaven and Earth to make your relationship work no matter what.
As the years went by, you learned to read Elizabeth as easily as an open book. You knew when she was stressed and needed to spend some time in her garden to relax. You knew when Elizabeth was cooking because she wanted to, when she was doing it because she had to eat and when she was stress-cooking. You knew when she liked the movie you were watching by the way she bit her lip and when she couldn’t care less about what was on the TV by the way she kept sighing. There were many little things about Elizabeth that you took notice of over the years, things that you carefully stocked in your memories because they were all details that made you love her more and more every day.
However, there was one thing you made a bigger effort to keep track of.
Her anxiety.
Elizabeth has been suffering from severe anxiety for many years now. She had talked about it in interviews and other things, but no one could understand the magnitude of her anxiety attacks unless they experienced it in person. You had been there to a fair share of them since you met, from the smaller ones where she would complain about feeling like a small weight in her chest to the bigger ones where you had to rush her to the hospital because you honestly thought she was about to have a heart attack. Since that day, you had vowed to always be attuned to the signals of her crisis so you could help Elizabeth get out of them before things got too hard for her to handle.
Elizabeth used to apologize every single time about it, about how she sometimes wouldn’t want to leave the house, how sometimes she would ask you to leave the restaurant that took you both so long to get a table at, how sometimes she needed to sit in complete silence to get herself together, but you always made sure to tell her it wasn’t her fault. Elizabeth had struggled with anxiety, panic attacks and social anxiety for many years now not because she wanted to, but because the media had chased her since she was young and she had grown in fear. That was something she struggled with and something you could help her with.
Or try your best, at the very least.
Since you knew about all of this, you easily realized Elizabeth’s anxiety was making an appearance, slipping through her very strong grip. You could see by the way her green eyes started moving around without focusing on anything, how her jaw clenched, how her breath became heavier and how her fingers kept picking at her dress. Evans was still talking and there was a microphone in front of you, not to mention how there were literally hundreds of eyes and cameras staring at you at that moment, so you couldn’t take her hands and ask her to breathe with you like you usually did.
You had to think fast, however, because Elizabeth’s anxiety escalates quickly and you wouldn’t want that to happen in a room filled with strangers since that was probably the reason why it was happening anyway. Elizabeth had gotten better at dealing with attending those events, giving interviews and talking with fans, but that didn’t mean she didn’t struggle every once in a while. It was still something that wasn’t easy for her, something that made her natural instincts ask her to run away as fast as she could.
Those long interviews made you tired, but they absolutely terrified Elizabeth. She hated the crowded room because she couldn’t spot the exit and her brain would play little tricks at her saying that, if something bad happened, there weren’t enough emergency doors to take everyone out safely. The cameras pointed at her made her overly conscious of every move she made, afraid of what people might capture to spread around. The screams and yells that the fans let go every once in a while made her ears hurt and her insides churn. It was awful.
Averting your eyes so people wouldn’t notice you had been watching her, you placed a gentle hand on her thigh under the table to offer her some comfort. That made Elizabeth jump in surprise, though, since she hadn’t been expecting it, so you quickly removed your hand and offered her a small smile in apology when she glanced at you. You felt bad about it, especially when you noticed the fear in her eyes, but you still tried to calm her down by offering her a smile.
Some of her tension washed away and her shoulders relaxed enough for you to feel safe to touch her again. When your hand touched her thigh this time around, Elizabeth was expecting it and she allowed the touch with a sigh. She threw you a thankful look before turning her head to the side to pay attention to what was being said in case anyone decided to pull her into the conversation, something you also tried to do.
Luckily - so damn luck, indeed - the interview ended just a few minutes after that. You played your part waving at the fans and offering them smiles, but you still held Elizabeth’s hand to pull her away from there as fast as you could without actually running. You were both sitting in the middle of the large table so it wasn’t an easy task. However, your eyes met Zendaya’s eyes for a moment and the girl wasted no time trying to discreetly move everyone out of the way so you could walk past with Elizabeth.
You took your girlfriend backstage and avoided everyone who tried to talk with you on the way until you found a quiet corner to sit down with her. You sat her down on top of a large technical equipment box and you jumped up to sit beside her, already shoving your hand inside your pocket to remove the three Sharpies you had taken with you that day. Green, blue and lilac were the colors you took from the case before leaving the hotel room that afternoon, and you didn’t think twice before handing them to her.
“Come on, I’m your canvas,” you told her lightly while reaching out your arm to her.
Your right arm was filled with tattoos from your shoulders to your wrist. That was something that made many casting directors frown to, but you loved it. That’s the way you find to express yourself and something you cherish. The tattoos were all blackwork, which means they didn’t have any colors added to them, and they were all different drawings that entwined between them thanks to the amazing work of your tattoo artist.
The first time Elizabeth ever drew on your skin was when you took her to the hospital that fateful day. You had seen your girlfriend looking so sad and scared lying down in a hospital bed after the doctor left saying it had been an anxiety attack that you just had to do something. You knew Elizabeth liked to use her hands to help herself calm down because she would run to her garden and spend hours there tending to the plants, putting her hands in the dirt and delicately touching every leaf. That’s why you took the pen that the doctor left behind without noticing and started to look for something she could write on, but there was nothing.
So, you just handed her the pen and told her to write something on your arm.
Elizabeth had looked at you like you were insane for even suggesting it and it took you a while to convince her to give it a try, however, it played out perfectly in the end. Elizabeth spent hours using the blue pen to color your tattoos and it did wonderful things to her anxiety. When the doctor returned, he was happy to say she was good to go and you were just glad that Elizabeth was back to her usual self asking you if you could stop somewhere to eat.
It wasn’t a perfect solution. It was temporary since it usually just calmed her down enough to keep going for a few more hours, but Elizabeth still needed to fully relax in silence, go to her garden or take a warm bath to avoid any real crisis. But that didn’t stop you from buying several Sharpies from different colors to have them around anytime she might need them. You made a habit out of walking around with them inside your pockets and Elizabeth stopped resisting using them to draw on you.
Sure, Elizabeth suggested she buy a notepad to carry with her, but you told her you didn’t mind being her personal canvas. You liked how she touched your skin gently with one hand while she used the other one to color your tattoos. You found it mesmerizing how she managed to make different details every time she drew on you. And you were just glad to be able to help her. Of course, you told Elizabeth it was okay if she preferred to have some paper to draw on, but luckily she didn’t argue against painting your arm instead.
It worked.
And that would have to do because you couldn’t take her to the hotel room you were sharing yet and it was clear that Elizabeth wasn’t feeling great.
“No,” your girlfriend said without taking the Sharpies from you. “We still have more interviews today.”
“Exactly,” you argued. “That’s fine. You know I don’t mind it.”
“People will make questions,” Elizabeth insisted, but it held no real resistance behind her words anymore. She was already taking the pens from you and you smiled happily at that.
“Let them,” was your reply.
A second later, Elizabeth took the green Sharpie to start painting one of the tattoos on the back of your arm.
When your castmates found you both, your skin was a mix of green, blue and lilac already, and Elizabeth's full attention was on the task in her hands. She didn’t look about to lose her mind anymore, her breathing was normal again, her hands weren’t shaking and her frown was purely because she was trying to keep the colors inside the line and not because she was in panic. Your friends gave you space because they didn’t want her to feel crowded again, but Holland lent you his jacket while you were all walking to the next interview to avoid questions and Elizabeth kissed your lips just before going on stage.
“You’re the best girlfriend in the world,” Elizabeth whispered against your skin.
You shrugged it off and leaned to kiss her forehead. “I love you,” you reminded her gently aware that you would climb every mountain and swim every ocean to make her happy.
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m4tthewmurd0ck · 1 month
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IN EVERY UNIVERSE
── Azriel x Fem!Reader
(i try to be as non descriptive as possible but do use she / her, and mention reader being shorter than all the guys.)
CHAPTER ── INTRODUCTION
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Ever since you were little, books have been your escape. Whether it was needing to get away from a bad day at school or an immature fight with a friend when you were a kid, or a rough day at work as you got older, reading allowed you to temporarily forget all of that.
You imagine what the characters might look like, you dream up scenarios for them that don’t happen in the books. And like so many others who do the exact same thing, you can’t help but wish characters were real so that they could sweep you off your feet. Ugh, what you wouldn’t give to have a certain one-armed super soldier call you doll.
You thought the MCU was where you wanted to exist the most… and then you were introduced to ACOTAR.
It didn’t take long at all for you to become another one of the many girls to fall for Azriel. You dreamt of what he might look like. And of course, knew he’d fall in love with you. Would you guys follow the enemies-to-lovers trope? Childhood best friends turned significant others? Or would it be a love-at-first sight moment for the shadowsinger, who would do everything in his power to get you to notice him? The answer depended on your mood, of course.
As much as you loved to fantasize, you also knew you had to be realistic. Azriel didn’t actually exist, at least not in your world.
One night, you even go so far as to convince yourself that all the hopeless dreaming had to stop. From that moment on, you’d still enjoy books, but you wanted to do your best to stop imagining a life for yourself in worlds you’d never get to visit.
It’s definitely easier said than done, but you go to bed that night confident that it’s the right thing to do.
Only, when you wake up the next morning… something is off. This isn’t your bedroom. The clothes you’re wearing, you’ve never seen before. And why does the man that has just entered your room look exactly like how you pictured Azriel?
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TAGLIST FOR THIS SERIES ONLY ── if you requested to be tagged and your name isn’t clickable, it means i wasn’t able to tag you! also sorry to anyone who might’ve gotten their hopes up thinking this tag mean i posted it, but i promise it’s coming sometime this week! this is just so i’m able to keep track of who asked to be tagged.
@namelesssav | @cinnamoodles | @orphicmeliora | @flowerprincezz | @blushingfawnsposts | @kylaisra | @princessbelleinthetardis | @msoldier | @ccacotartoglover | @vickykazuya | @thecourtofnightmaresanddreams | @mirandasidefics
TAGLIST FOR ALL THINGS AZRIEL ──
@bakananya | @thisiskaylin | @saltedcoffeescotch | @melmo567 | @chelsiemp | @lilah-asteria | @r0sluvs | @imagoddessinmystories | @sandramalikstyles-blog | @minnieoo | @durgenyx
IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO BE ADDED TO THIS SERIES TAGLIST, LET ME KNOW! (you can specify just this series, or all things Azriel)
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iamthat-iam · 2 months
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Real vs Unreal 🤯
Jade has been in the LOA community for over a year now. It opened her up to many different possibilities, such as shifting to the MCU (Marvel Universe) where she is a superhero with super strength, super speed, and the ability to fly.
Everyday when she wakes up, and before she goes to bed, she does an intense visualization of this reality. Each time she does it, her "current reality" seems to disappear, until she opens her eyes. She knows that she's so close yet so far from shifting there! She decides to go on Tumblr and ask for advice.
She comes across some intriguing ND posts that say "You must collapse the duality between physical vs imagination and real vs unreal" and "All experiences are the same, no matter the label. Seeing a car in a 'daydream' is no different than seeing one 'in real life.'"
This seems to be different than what she learned from LOA, with the existence of a 3D/4D and 'fulfilling your imagination until it shows up in the physical.' She sends a blogger a question out of curiosity.
"Hi! I know that this is not a shifting blog, but I wanted clarification on a few things. For over a year now, I've been trying to shift to the Marvel Universe, where I'm a superhero with powers. Everyday I do a visualization where I am experiencing these things. I just saw your post that says all experiences are the same, and how seeing something in imagination is the same as real life. Does this mean the whole time I was visualizing myself in that reality, I was already experiencing that? It was real? I also want to know how imagination and physical are the same. Thank you." She inquired.
The blogger responds with, "Yes you already experienced it. The reason why there's no physical vs imagination is because your awareness, your true nature, is present during all appearances that come and go. We've just labelled certain appearances real or not real based on certain ideas we picked up through life. For example, many people think that experiences are only real when you are awake and you seem to be living through the 5 senses. They were also taught that things like fairies, dragons, supernatural abilities aren't real, so when they hear stories about people experiencing those things, it's a huge shock for them. But in reality, nothing is objectively real or unreal, all experiences are possible for awareness. You (as awareness, THAT, or " ") are the ONLY thing that is truly real. As the ultimate authority, only you can decide what is "true" for you or not."
Jade decides to take some time to really think about what this blogger said. Everything they said is a complete 180 from what Jade thought she knew about life and how reality works. So that means this entire time, she was already in the MCU? And the MCU is apparently just as real as what Jade calls "real life?" That is truly an interesting concept to ponder! The one thing that has Jade stumped, however, is the fact that she opens her eyes and continues to see her old life. She goes back to the blogger to ask about this.
"That's really interesting how I already experienced being in the MCU! So this technically means I can tell someone I "shifted" there, and they couldn't accuse me of lying? Also, I'm a bit confused on why whenever I open my eyes after visualizing, I still see my old life," She questioned the blogger.
"To answer your first question, no, they can't accuse you of 'lying' because that was a valid experience for you. The idea that you have to experience "shifting symptoms" or enter the void state to "experience another world" is limiting, and creates a barrier between you and whatever you want to experience. This is no disrespect to that community, if they want to "shift" or "enter the void state" to experience things, that is totally up to them. But ND is about not labelling experiences, and not treating them as if they are separate from you. All experiences are yours. It's natural for you, as an omnipotent being, to experience whatever you want instantly. As for why your "old life" continues to appear, there is no old life. There's no experience A turning into experience B, it's all nothingness. You said you visualized being in the MCU, have you noticed that the "old life" seems to disappear and you're totally focused on the visualization? That's because the "old life" never was in the first place!" The blogger explained.
That response made everything click for Jade. She finally feels free enough to experience the MCU universe or any other universe whenever she wants! "Thank you so much! This was very helpful and empowering!" She thanked the blogger.
And so Jade became the superhero she always wanted to be.
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findafight · 9 months
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I need. NEED. Y'all to understand that in a MCU captain america au Bucky and Steve would be Steve and Robin. Like. The unhinged amount of devotion? Yes. Soviet torture? Yes.
But it also MUST be understood that Steve is Bucky, and Robin is Steve. DO YOU SEE MY VISION.
Steve, charming and charasmatic, looks out for his awkward but good hearted and mildly unhinged (he's no better) bestie until he goes off to war. Robin, a bit of a weirdo, wants to do something to help fight. She ends up in an experimental program, and getting super strength etc.
She gets shipped around as propoganda. She ends up in Italy. She finds out Steve's unit has been captured. Her best friend, the only one who really knows her, the guy she's probably going to end up bearded by. Her sweet cheese.
She goes to save him.
Against all odds she does. He's strapped to a table and muttering to himself and thinks he's hallucinating when he sees her. But she saves him.
They form a strike team, blow up bases, punch Nazis etc. The war in Europe is almost over. Then Steve falls from a train. Then Robin crashes a plane. They both die heroes.
Except.
Robin wakes up. She wakes up in a world not her own and she's scared and frightened and told she has to fight again except this time she's alone.
And she does. She follows orders and fights and tries to figure out how to live when anyone who would understand her is in their eighties at the youngest or dead. How to exist in a world where the only person, even in their own time, who actually knew her, was dead. Dead for a long time. Deified alongside her by America.
So she follows orders. Until she doesn't. Until fury dies and someone with a metal arm and long brown hair shoots at her but holds their own against her enhanced strength. Pushes her, actually, being broader than her.
And she has allies, yes, but when it comes down to it, it's just her and the Soldier. Fighting under the overpass, and there's something about the Soldiers brow, the possible cowlick on his hairline where his long hair should be parted, that pings something in the back of her mind.
The mask slips off. And Robin thinks she's died again.
He doesn't recognize her, but his eyebrows scruntch together in a way she's known for what feels like eons. She's missed him.
A long time ago, longer for some than for her, he had been strapped to a table. She saved him then. She is going to save him now.
On a helicarrier, she can't bring herself to fight him. She knows him, how many hits he's taken, and even after whatever's been done to him, she knows him. Knows he's confused and scared and fighting it. Whatever's taken him away from her.
He knows her too. She can tell by the way he hesitated, pulls back. He's in there. She just has to find him.
She falls.
A strong hand pulls her out of the river.
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