#i just have really intense feelings and never know what to do with them | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

042502 · 22 hours

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ೀ⋆｡ I want one like you, there better be two.

ೄ᮫ summary. You have sex with Matt and Chris secretly, neither of them know that you fuck the other. But one afternoon of studying you have a great fantasy of doing it with both of you at the same time.

ೄ᮫ content. Threesome, fuck with Matt and Chris at the same time, oral sex, penetration, double penetration, pet names, inappropriate language, obscene descriptions, a little long.

ೄ᮫ writer's note. My first language is not English, I have to admit that I got very hot writing this.

ೄ᮫ masterlist.

My body was completely sweaty, I could feel my skin burning. My cheeks turned a crimson color that stood out on my white skin. My hair was a little damp from sweat and messy.

"Jesus!" I moan out loud practically screaming as I felt Matt's hard penetration hit me mercilessly.

Every time our bodies moved I could hear our wet skin making obscene sounds that filled the room along with the insults Matt let out. His hands were holding my hips tightly making sure I didn't escape from him.

I've lost count of the number of times we've fucked, it just happened one day and we haven't stopped since.

Sex with Matt is hard, I don't remember him being nice to me in bed. He just pushes me into the room and tears my clothes mercilessly to devour me completely.

It's funny that outside of privacy he comes across as a damn idiot who wouldn't hurt an ant.

"Fuck Matthew!"

"That's it, scream my name like the whore you are" a fucking moron who loves to feed his fucking ego.

Matt lowers the intensity of his thrusts, becoming slower. Seeking to torture me completely.

"Please fuck me!" He sinks inside me reaching the bottom, but he doesn't stop his slow pace.

"I'm fucking you baby" he taunts me.

"Faster!" I felt his cock slowly coming out of me, leaving only the head of his cock inside. He starts trying to take it out completely like damn torture. He pushed my butt back for more.

But at that moment Matt slaps his open hand on my ass and I scream like a whore for him. I feel her body lean over my back to whisper in my ear: "I guess you're very needy today, I'm not surprised for a little whore like you. What the fuck do you want?" You ask me as he grabs the root of my hair tightly and pulls me up, forcing me to look at him.

"I want you to fuck me hard" after my request Matt lets go of my hair abruptly and before I can react his hard penetrations return.

"Fuuuuck!" I moaned carelessly reaching climax.

Don't get confused, he's not my stupid boyfriend, I just like to fuck with him. Matt comes out of the bathroom dressed and rubbing a towel into his hair which was damp.

On the other hand, I was finishing sneaking my shoes.

This was like that, there were no caresses, there were no nice words after sex, there was no talk or anything like that. We both took different paths and continued with our lives as if nothing had happened.

We could pass each other in the hallways, share classes together and all that shit, but he would never talk to me and of course I, much less would I.

But somehow we always end up in a corner fucking like animals. It's surprising because I don't even have his phone number.

"Will you go out first?" He asks me once I finish putting on my shoes.

"Are you scared that they know we were fucking? Please Matthew, don't think that I would be excited if someone knew" I approach him, standing face to face.

I had to raise my face a little to see it, but it doesn't intimidate me at all.

"If you open your fucking mouth, I swear I will leave you without balls," he threatened and left the room without further ado.

I know perfectly well that he would never have his dirty mouth to say it, but it doesn't hurt to remind him what will happen if he does.

Why keep the secret? Simply because I'm fucking someone else.

"I really missed this damn tongue of yours!" I say between purrs, my hands were clinging to the messy hair that was between my legs.

My legs were wide open, giving my entire vagina at his disposal, his tongue torturing me in the best possible way. Chris knew very well how to make me feel good with his mouth.

His lips close over my pussy, and then his tongue hits me rhythmically.

I know, you'll say... You're fucking the Sturniolo brothers, what a whore you are. I am, I don't have a particular favorite, you know, their cocks are exactly identical.

Still, I have to admit that each one stands out differently. If we put both of them together we have a sex machine.

My hands let go of Chris's hair as soon as I came in his mouth, he doesn't let me recover as his cock is already hitting my pussy.

"Chris..." My nails dig into his shoulders and he grunts at the burning, without stopping he pushes my hands away and replaces them with my legs.

I could feel him going all the way in, this felt really good, his moans and curses turned me on even more, my walls clenching around him. Chris accelerates as if that were even more possible, one of his hands clumsily searches for one of my breasts and carelessly squeezes it, generating a horrible pain that makes me scream, I don't know what the hell that was.

Chris cums on my stomach and after this we could hear our desperate breaths for air.

"You were a fucking idiot" before I can continue insulting he kisses my lips.

"Shut your mouth or better use it to suck my cock, you look prettier that way." He laughs.

There's a difference between Matt and Chris, Chris wouldn't mind if they knew we fucked and that's a big problem.

"Why that face?" Nick asked me as I tapped my pencil against the blank page in front of me.

"I'm just not in the mood"

Right on the bench in front of us are Matt and Chris, of course Chris turns in the direction of Nick and I to annoy.

"You're never in the mood, what's the difference between today and the rest of the days?" I swear to God he has that fucking mouth to say so many stupid things, that many times I wish I could sit on him and shut him up with my pussy.

"Shut your mouth stupid" I just respond, big mistake.

"With that pretty mouth you would love to ask me to fuck you" I don't look at Matt, but I can imagine his expression.

"I thought I asked you to shut your dirty mouth"

"I would shut up if I had your pus..." I didn't let him finish speaking until I hit him on the head with my pencil.

Chris was a big risk that until now Matt hasn't taken other than the dirty jokes Chris played on me.

"Do you really like her?" Nick asks Chris.

"No, I do not like"

"Are they fucking?" Nick's question surprised me and I let Chris answer.

"No" Chris may be a jerk, but he has a way with lying and is so believable. "But I wouldn't mind, do you want to fuck?" I hit him again with my pencil.

Since the damn exams hit us I haven't fucked at all, not with Matt and certainly not with Chris. Before you used to fuck four times a week, twice with each of them. Now I could feel my pussy burning and asking for attention.

I still ignored it and of course they haven't offered to do it either, I guess we're all too busy studying.

Nick had proposed that we all study together for the next exam, so here we are all together again studying as if this were our thing.

Honestly, it's fucking shit, I had the book in my hands and I was repeating the same sentence over and over again, but my mind wasn't here.

I was thinking about how good Chris's hands would feel caressing one of my nipples while pulling on the other. My legs tighten in search of satisfying the need in my crotch.

Fuck, I really need Matt's fingers buried in my hot pussy. I'm having a dirty fantasy about both of them while we study for a fucking exam.

"Do you want something then?" My thoughts are erased when I see Nick standing in front of me.

"Sorry, what did you say?" He laughs at me and repeats his question. "Some sour sweets or whatever is fine."

"Okay I'll be back soon"

Nick's gone, I haven't asked him where. But I need to calm my hot needy pussy right now, I stand up and both guys look at me attentively.

"Huh, I'll go get some water" they both nod and continue with their thing.

I went into the kitchen and poured myself some water, I tried to clear my thoughts and clean those dirty thoughts.

Why right now I'm thinking about what Matt's hands would feel like on my breasts, pressing these carelessly, I can feel my nipples hardening and poking out of the thin fabric of my blouse. How hard his cock would get while rubbing against my ass.

"stupid fantasy..." He murmured with my eyes closed feeling my pussy getting wet.

"It's not a fantasy," Matt's voice rings in my ear.

His hands were on my breasts, and his erect cock was on my butt.

"Matt, please... We can't," he sinks into my neck and begins to give me wet kisses that make me let out heavy sighs.

"I missed you... You don't know how much I need to feel your tight pussy right now."

"Chris is here..."

"I don't give a shit" his hand was slowly lowering towards my wetness.

"Chris... Chris will see us..." I repeat.

"I'm already seeing them" my eyes widen in terror, and Matt's hands leave my body. "Since when?"

"Chris...."

"For four months," Matt replies and I curse out loud.

"Chris I know this is stupid but-" Matt interrupts me.

"Why are you explaining to him?"

"Matt, you don't know-" Now it's Chris who interrupts me.

"That's why you didn't want me to open the dirty mouth where you've been cumming for four months... Or wait, has Matt cummed in your mouth too?" The joke wasn't good, Matt now understood what Chris meant.

"You've been fucking both of them at the same time?" Matt asks me.

"Yes, I mean no, I haven't had sex at exactly the same time... I wouldn't mind if that were the case, what I mean is that I'm not dating anyone and it's just casual sex..." I ramble nervously between my words.

Shit, now I have both of them looking at me annoyed and the worst of all is that this makes me so horny, my panties are soaked.

And don't ask what the fuck I did, but right now we're in Matt's room, after a quick call to Nick saying we needed a lot more stuff that we didn't really need.

But what we really needed was time, time for the three of us to fuck together.

My knees hurt, but I didn't want to stop sucking Matt's hard cock, my tongue running up and down the length, while my other hand clung to Chris's cock, jerking him off.

Matt shoved his cock into my mouth and then withdrew it, turned my face and shoved Chris's cock deep into my throat. I could feel it throbbing inside my oral cavity and filling me with saliva.

My eyes burn and fill with tears, when he withdrew his cock. They both masturbate for me and I just limit myself to giving them both lambodas on the tip.

Matt helps me stand up and takes me to his bed. I don't have time to get settled as I feel Chris spread my legs and spit on my pussy.

"Show Matt like geniuses for me" Chris asks me and before I can object, his tongue attacks my pussy as he knows how to do.

I don't know if that hurt Matt's ego, but when my eyes looked down at him, his hands caressed my lips and I opened my mouth for his cock to enter.

I didn't know how much I'd need this, Chris's skilled tongue hitting my pussy, while Matt fucked my mouth.

When my legs press against Chris's head he moves away and penetrates me without warning me, my scream is muffled by Matt's cock that was still penetrating my mouth.

"Damn, what a dirty little mouth you have, baby." Matt withdrew his cock, letting me breathe, but when my eyes looked at him he slapped me. "How are Matt's little bitches behaving?" I knew what he meant, but I couldn't do that in front of Chris. "Come on, Chris wants to know how the little slut behaves" I looked at Chris.

His eyes were dark, but he was still doing his job, my pussy tightens around him and I look back at Matt, he holds my cheeks tightly and when he lets go he slaps me again.

I guess this scene has turned Chris on even more, because his penetrations are going deeper and deeper. I stick out my tongue and he hits his hard cock against my tongue.

"Matt..." He spoke as he continued running my tongue along his cock. "I need you" Chris stopped dead and that frustrated me even more. "I need you too Chris..." They both look at each other for a few short seconds.

Now Matt was lying with my body on top of his, his member is aligned with me and he gives me small penetrations, Chris approaches us and also places his member inside me.

The sensation was completely new, it felt much tighter with both cocks inside, but damn how horny I am, I asked him to move first Chris and I could hear Matt moaning on a low level, I guess he likes the friction Chris is doing as much as I do.

"Come on Matt," I encourage him and he tries to keep up with Chris.

My moans come out uncontrollably from my lips, damn how good it feels to have them both at the same time. The heat of both felt incredible.

Marta's grunts right above my ear, while her hands caressed my breasts and her tongue passed right along my neck. On the other hand, Chris held my hips from where he gained momentum to fuck me hard and his eyes were locked on mine.

"This is what you wanted right? Damn bitch" Chris speaks and I bite my lip hard, the last thing I needed is to hear him talk to me in that dirty way.. ""You wanted to see you fuck Matt and now you have us both taming that pretty pussy of yours." He leans in and his thrusts become deeper, even Matt growled louder.

"Chris shit, be careful I have my cock there too" he demands.

My hand searched for Matt's locks and pulled him hard because of how ecstatic I felt, my other hands brought Chris's face closer to mine to kiss him.

I felt my walls tighten and Chris growls into my mouth. I had cum on both of their cocks, damn this is fucking heaven.

Chris comes out and approaches my mouth so I can suck him while Matt is in charge of reaching his orgasm by fucking at his own pace. We will definitely repeat this from now on.

One moment…

“Nick!”

ೄ᮫ writer's note. Remember to hit the heart and share it with your friends! Thanks for reading^^ If you want to be on the taglist, comment on the post posted on my profile.

ೄ᮫ taglist. @luverboychris @l34n @sturncakez @imwetforyourmom @hotreaderliin @tillies33ssss @sturnioloxlver @jnkvivi @stvrniolowh0re @adirtylittleheart @ilovechrisssturniolo-deactivate @melonjollyranche @sssoniaswiftt @ecliphttlunar @jetaimevous @khxna @aliceloveschris

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rilakeila · 1 day

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intro: we challenge you!

host club au! jjk x reader x ohshc

gojo satoru is the head of jujutsu academy's elite high school host club with his friends: geto suguru, nanami kento, itadori sukuna, shoko ieiri, haibara yu, and of course, their princess manager. what happens when they go up against another elite host club on an exchange event with different schools? let's find out!

a/n: incredibly self-indulgent. i cant decide to do an entire series or collection of one-shots. however, even if i do a series, i'm always open to do an au within au !! lmk if y'all have any ideas and hope you enjoy this one! also it's def ouran vibes with how the scenes work out like nonsensical manners with the petal entrances and random objects appearing out of nowhere

(y/n) was already tired.

she knew the exchange event would triple her work as manager for her dear beloved buffoons and their work as hosts, but she foolishly accepted their offer to go anyway. between scheduling their events, accepting payments for various fan meetings, and then coordinating with both schools to confirm times and clothing - she was ready to retire. pension required and isolation from known society appreciated. at least distance away from the menaces called gojo satoru and itadori sukuna.

for once, to their credit, they weren't fighting each other. damages would be at minimal cost. good for her and jujutsu academy's reputation. although these two were never very concerned about the school's reputation.

and that's why they were about to duke it out with an intensely frivolous blonde-haired second year and what looked to be a very feral set of twins in their first year.

"they look so hot but so scary," murmurs surrounded the two groups.

(y/n) couldn't help but sigh, attention always seemed to follow them as they go. satoru naturally reeled in the girls, which would lead into the rest of the boys and shoko being noticed, ultimately turning it into a free fan-meeting for new potential customers. she wondered how she came to this predicament anyways.

"well, i'll be back. i just need to confirm some things with the head of the event," (y/n) flipped through her clipboard of papers, signing some things off.

"do you need me to come with you?" kento questioned, adjusting his uniform.

she shook her head, "no, i'll be okay. what i need you to do is watch over these buffoons."

both looked at the buffoons in question. haibara and shoko were already taking pictures in front of the flowers. these two that were least likely needed to be watched.

"this place looks so old," satoru complained a little too loud, earning a head shake of disapproval from nanami and (y/n).

"not too loud, satoru. you really should be more polite and humble, even if it looks garish," geto stretched his arms out before placing it behind his head.

"there's no places for shade," sukuna grumbled.

(y/n) pressed her lips together, pulled a parasol out and covered the pink-haired host, "okay, i'll be back. no funny business, kento is in charge."

"who put you in charge? do you have no respect for your president?" satoru seated his head on the top of (y/n)'s head, arms wrapped around her. she can practically see and feel the pout on his face, rolling her eyes.

she grabbed sukuna's free hand, placing the parasol in his hand to hold ("hmph."). she charged her head up, injuring the prince's chin to free herself from his grasp, "well, mr. president, i suppose you would like to go over some paperwork for the event."

"mommaaa, she hit me," he cried to suguru, who just hit the backside of his head.

"we'll make sure to behave, princess. come back safe," suguru waved her off. (y/n) looked at kento who just nodded, knowing that he was the only one she could fully trust. both throwing a thumbs up to each other.

after (y/n) leaving, the rest of the host club wandered around the grounds of ouran. there were multitude of yellow dresses and blue blazers directing other schools and vendors. kento was leading the group, watching yu and ieiri to ensure that they didn't get lost as they indulged in the small events that the ouran students were hosting. he trusted sukuna would keep suguru and satoru in check, mostly satoru.

kento paused in his tracks, hearing squeals behind him, 'there goes the president again.'

"he's so hot!"

"take your glasses off!"

"alright, alright, ladies. there's enough of me to go around," the dramatic movement just to take his glasses off was enough for kento to sweatdrop. the squealing increased tenfold. typically, suguru would line up the girls at their school for uniformity for their president. however, it looked he was preoccupied with his own set of girls. then, sukuna. and there is yet another group of girls.

"honestly, that took a lot longer than i thought," yu said, standing next to kento.

"that was inevitable, girls always fall for them, somehow, someway," shoko twirled her hair around her finger.

"hmm... as long as they aren't causing too much of a ruckus. we should be fine," kento huffed, shaking his head when yu offered him the snack bag that the ouran students were handing out as "freebies." what a word to have.

though, their heads snapped to a sharp gasp next to them.

a blonde with his jaw snapped wide open fainting backwards, only for a pair of orange-haired twins to catch him as he fell back. "boss!"

other than the blonde and the twins, there seemed to be a middle schooler and a taller man. another had glasses, and well, one looked ambigious, feminine-leaning perhaps.

"doesn't the blonde remind you of someone?" yu whispered to them.

"yeah, someone that we know... can't seem to think of who it is" ieiri questioned with yu, thought bubbles practically seen above their heads as they thought long and hard.

"what happened to him, kyoya-senpai?" the feminine-looking one asked.

"it may be due to the fact that his customers have been stolen," the glasses one answered. kento recognized him, kyoya ootori, as his parents frequently invited the ootori family to the quarterly nanami galas as a thanks to the partnership of two families.

"my princesses! how dare they look at another man," the blonde immediately rose from the ground in a familiar way to kento, yu, and ieiri. a dramatic point was directed to satoru, "you, white haired student! have you come to steal my customers?"

"that should be our cue to go to them," kento lightly tapped ieiri and yu's shoulders, signalling them to head towards their members.

the chattering from the female ouran students silenced. it was also as if the red sea parted, a direct showdown line between the two groups.

this is how (y/n) ended up, almost crossing down the half. luckily, she looked up in time to stand with her club, sweatdropping in between. she eyed kento with a 'i thought you had it controlled,' which was responded with a head shake and shrug.

"customers? you called these beautiful ladies customers? what a shame. would never think that you were their prince. who might you be?" satoru pushed his sunglasses back onto his face, causing "aww's" of disappointment from the crowd.

"excuse you, i'm tamaki, the prince of the finest club of this school. the ouran host club, of course," he offered his princely smile and a rose to one of the female student bystander, who squealed and seemed to almost pass out.

"i got it, they're one of the same," (y/n) perked her ears up to ieiri and haibara whispering to each other, raising an eyebrow.

"host club? must have fooled me, there's an entire child in your group," suguru laughed as he directed the attention to the small child with the bunny in his arms, only to raise an eyebrow once he saw the taller one behind him straighten up.

"i assumed these ladies wanted someone mature, refined," sukuna showed his signature smirk to the ladies to his left, some fainting and some reaching for him.

"we are refined, right? men?" tamaki questioned with certainty in his voice.

"well, we offer brotherly love and boy lolita, i'm not too sure if that exactly counts as refined and mature, senpai," the feminine-looking one said.

"additionally, we have female hosts to those who are interested," it felt like lights highlighted (y/n) and ieiri when suguru mentioned their female host services.

"well, we technically also-" the twins' mouth seemed to be tied up by tamaki with a sheepish smile.

"so, really, what is the point of this? we have a whiny prince on our hands that can't accept the fact his ladies are talking to actual elite people, well in terms of taste," sukuna scoffed.

"you're right, kuna, why waste time with this nonsense of a host club when we can entertain the ladies here on the way to our next activity. manager princess, lead the way to where we have to go," satoru winked at the ouran host club before allowing (y/n) to take the reigns as she normally does.

she was too far lost other than knowing if ouran's host club is anything like the one she is in, their pride was certainly on the line. the last thing she saw before she turned around was a defeated tamaki with the twins fanning him, where had she seen that scene before?

"wait, we'll challenge you during this exchange event with sports, academics, whatever there is to offer to see who's the better host club," tamaki called out to them, still kneeling on the ground

gasps were heard from their audience. the jujutsu academy host club (more so the guys, ieiri and (y/n) could careless about a hurt pride) turned and eyed each other, reaching a consensus.

"hmm.. we never back down from a challenge. when and where can we discuss the terms?"

"music room #3, 3 p.m. sharp."

"we'll see you there."

(y/n) surely didn't know what she was getting herself into during this exchange event. everyday was already interesting enough with her own club. though, let's see what happens.

till next time !

intro completed.

#jjk fanfic #ohshc fanfic #gojo x reader #kyoya x reader #geto suguru #nanami kento #shoko ieiri #yu haibara #sukuna #tamaki suoh #mitsukuni haninozuka #takashi morinozuka #hikaru #kaoru #haruhi fujioka

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derangedanomaly · 1 day

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I just remembered chaos has tentacles.

Does he use them often, I mean, I see he isn't seen with it, but I mean, does he like picking up close ones and people who're cool with it?

If so, can we have a little Chaos x Reader where they get picked up by his tentacles?

Ooh, interesting, very interesting 👀

MASTERLIST

CHAOS PICKING THE READER UP WITH HIS TENTACLES

You stared at Chaos with intensity. Or more respectively, his back, where his tentacles sometimes grow. You still wondered about how exactly they work, they're not exactly like Nightmares tentacles, which he uses more than he probably should.

Nightmare uses his tentacles as a weapon, or to scare off people, but you don't see that with Chaos. You can't help but think about it more than you probably should...

"Huh? Something the matter, buttercup?" There he goes again, with his cheesy nicknames. Your cheeks gained a reddish color when he noticed you staring at him for a little longer than you intended to. "Oh, umm... it's nothing, Chaos." He hummed, probably not believing a single word you said, but he's way to nice to actually point it out- or so you thought.

"Are you sure...?" He smirked down at you, leaning down so he can see eye to eye with you.. your height difference definitely didn't help ease the situation.

"Well...*ahem*..I just thought...your tentacles." He gave you a confused look, not understanding what you're hinting at. "What about them?" Oh geez...this is gonna be embarrassing.. "I was just- wondering....how do you use your tentacles? I mean- I've never seen you using them against someone in any way, shape, or form.." he seemed rather surprised by your point, as he looked at you with wide eyes.

That quickly changed though, as he suddenly looked at you with an expression you never saw on him before.. he gave you this rather....dare you say flirty look. "...Can I ask what made you ask this... particular question?" "Wha-" "Is there a reason why you're thinking of my tentacles?" You gulped, now pretty sure your face was boiling hot.

"Well...If there is a more complex answer to this...then.." you didn't know how to feel when he suddenly whispered this in your ear. You felt like you could suffocate any time, but then, he said something appalling. "I can gladly tell you!" He switched just like that suddenly, leaving his flirty look, now looking at you with a wide, excited smile. Was he just... teasing you?! What a flirt!

"O-Ok..then- can you tell me?" He nodded enthusiastically. "Yeah! So...I never use them for any means, because I don't really want to depend on them, so I mostly keep them hidden. But I also don't want to hurt anyone.. they sometimes feel like a burden to be honest.." you frowned, and went to hold his hand for comfort. He perked up, and blushed light turquoise.

He smiled at you, tightening his hold on your hand a little. He suddenly smirked yet again. "But you know...there is one way, in which I can use them for..." You looked at him expectantly. "Does it require for me to do something?" "No, but you'll like it.." you flushed red yet again, trying to refrain from thinking of something not so PG...

You yelped when his tentacles suddenly slithered around your waist, holding you up. You looked down at him in surprise. "I can hold things that I like!" Ok, that's it. He seriously has to stop teasing you.

Maybe..he just doesn't even realize the effect he has on you. And you wouldn't even be surprised if it was like that, based on how much he's beaming with joy right now. He's gonna be the death of you one day.

#undertale #undertale fandom #sans undertale #chaos sans #undertale au #utmv au #utmv #utmv x reader #chaos sans x reader #nightmare sans #sans x reader #nightmare sans x reader

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thecuriousquest · 18 hours

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Yandere Alphabet: Yuji Itadori

Yan!Yuji Itadori x Fem!Reader

@murderofravens

Warnings: NSFW (NO SEX MENTIONED but does contain slight sexual themes), Yandere themes, dominant behavior, clingy behavior, delusional behavior, ass worship, spanking punishment, kidnapping, breaking of Darling, various kinks (ass kink, ass worship, etc.), blood, violence

Master List

It’s been a while since I’ve done an alphabet prompt. Thinking about doing Choso and Sukuna next (😝 that’s what she said).

—————————————————————————

Affection: How do they show their love and affection? How intense would it get?

He shows his love through protecting you. He’s fucking up curses with those heavy hands. He goes to great lengths to stand up for you and make sure you’re safe. His overprotective tendencies can get pretty intense. Forcing you to be with him or stay home may very well end up being what you’re dealt.

Blood: How messy are they willing to get when it comes to their darling?

Yan!Yuji is very willing to cover his hands in blood if it means keeping you out of harm’s way. Whether it is a human, half curse, or full fledged curse, he doesn’t really give a damn. To him, an enemy is an enemy. It’s all the same. He’s lost too many people to lose you as well.

Cruelty: How would they treat their darling once abducted? Would they mock them?

Yuji treats you like glass at first, but then he becomes a little bit rough with you once the “honeymoon” phase ends and he starts finding reasons to discipline you. He would never mock you, though. Yuji might accidentally patronize you from time to time without realizing it, but he would never be so cruel as to mock you intentionally.

Darling: Aside from abduction, would they do anything against their darling’s will?

If you want to wait for marriage, that’s fine. Yuji can wait. But just letting you know, that marriage is going to take place pretty damn quickly. He’s not waiting a year to see what it’s like to be…so intimate with you. And whether you want it or not isn’t something Yuji is necessarily concerned with. Don’t get me wrong. He wants you to want it. But if you don’t, then he will just have to make you love him in return. He will also force you to kiss and hug him.

Exposed: How much of their heart do they bare to their darling? How vulnerable are they when it comes to their darling?

He’s such a guy. Like an actual guy who doesn’t really talk about his feelings like that. He tells you he loves you and that he wants what’s best for you, that he’s doing everything he can for you. That’s about all you’re getting.

Fight: How would they feel if their darling fought back?

He wouldn’t be too thrilled, but there’s a very small chance that he could forgive you and turn it into a game if he’s in the right mood. Either way, he’s stronger than you in every way possible. He’ll just pin you down on the floor, your wrists bound with one large hand above your head. He’ll mount you, and he’ll wait like a lion cornering his prey. “You done? Tired? Yeah, that’s what I thought.”

Game: Is this a game to them? How much would they enjoy watching their darling try to escape?

It’s not a game. 100%. I repeat: NOT A GAME. Fighting him is very different from running out the door. He doesn’t like that you’re actually trying to get away from him like that. He doesn’t appreciate it either. After all, he’s just trying to keep you safe from a terrifying world! How could you do this to him? It’s not like it takes much to catch you anyway since he’s so fast. That’s not even the point. You’re supposed to stay and be a good girl for him. No, this is not a game, and he does not enjoy it.

Hell: What would be their darling’s worst experience with them?

Making him so mad to the point where he’s not yelling, he just goes quiet. That’s the worst possible situation to be in. He’s got his eyes solely focused on you while his heart palpitates with rage. This might have even occurred the first time you tried to escape and he had to drag you back. This is the worst because he’s not even saying anything to you, and you have absolutely no idea what he’s thinking or what he plans on doing next. You have to sit there and wait, and that’s what kills you the most.

Ideals: What kind of future do they have in mind for/with their darling?

Yuji wants to marry you. He wouldn’t necessarily mind having kids at a later age, but he would only want kids if you want them. Other than that, a nice little house with you would be the ideal picture.

Jealousy: Do they get jealous? Do they lash out or find a way to cope?

He gets jealous, and he lashes out at you. There’s no way to sugarcoat it. Yuji is a man who isn’t afraid to speak his mind. He will tell you when your actions are pissing him off, even more so if your actions involve interacting with a man that isn’t him. He will lay everything out quite plainly: you do not get to hang around other men, especially if he’s not present. If he finds out you were, there’s going to be hell to pay.

Kisses: How do they act around or with their darling?

Oh, Yuji loves anything that has to do with affection. He loves having you sit on his lap, kissing you, hugging you, play wrestling with you, giving you light spankings, anything that involves putting his hands on you. He’s shameless about it, even in public. He’ll grab the fat swell of your ass and jiggle it out on the streets. Man loves your butt.

Love letters: How would they go about courting or approaching their darling?

Chocolates and roses. Need I say more?

Mask: Are their true colors drastically different from the way they act around everyone else?

Absolutely. Looking at this guy, you would never in a million years think Yuji is capable of the things he has done to you. He will sneak into your apartment and place a hand over your mouth, scaring the absolute fuck out of you. He will leave you notes about how he “saw you with someone” and “will deal with you later”. He puts on this innocent and chipper facade around others, but alone with you, he’s a dark and dominant yandere with only you on his mind.

Naughty: How would they punish their darling?

Yuji’s preferred method is spanking, obviously. He has your ass on his mind all day. He just loves jiggling, slapping, pinching, and grabbing your butt. So when you decide to mess up and act defiant or out of control, Yuji has the perfect way to reel you back in and make you understand you are not to act out of line. He likes a bit of bratty behavior here and there, but when bratty becomes bitchy and it happens too often, then hell bare your ass and drag you over his knee, pinning you against his thigh with an arm draped over your lower back. Maybe learn to keep yourself in check next time so Yuji doesn’t have to, but he doesn’t mind. Really. That’s what a loving boyfriend is for.

Oppression: How many rights would they take away from their darling?

You have zero rights with this man. He takes away everything from privacy and personal space to even letting you choose what you wear. Yuji likes to pick things for you, it’s his way of extending that little bit of control even further until it slowly wraps around your neck like a noose.

Patience: How patient are they with their darling?

He can be patient. He can be very patient…a little too patient in fact. However, he has his limits. He doesn’t like when you push him away. That’s the one thing that always breaks him. He’ll yell at you, grab your wrists and pin you down. He’ll snarl in your face as spit spatters your skin, his cheeks heating up from so much anger he’s exhibiting. And you have to lay there and take it all.

Quit: If their darling dies, leaves, or successfully escapes, would they ever be able to move on?

Nope. He’s going to remember you for the rest of his life. He’s going to think about you every night before he falls asleep. He’s going to hold onto hope that the universe will find a way to bring you back to him.

Regret: Would they ever feel guilty about abducting their darling? Would they ever let their darling go?

It’s highly unlikely that Yuji would feel guilty about abducting you. You’d have to really cry and beg for Yuji to let you go. Now, he has a big heart, so that’s not what I mean. It’s just that Yuji is a clingy and slightly delusional Yandere, so he’s probably going to think you’re actually upset over something else, and he won’t really feel guilty about kidnapping you because now he has access to you 24/7.

Stigma: What brought about this side of them (childhood, curiosity, etc)?

Jennifer Lopez aside, he has a fascination with women who notice his darker desires. This is different from noticing him. These are the women who look at him and can tell that something is off. And he knows when this happens, can sniff it like a bloodhound. He savors it like a delicious meal. If you notice him and act a bit scared, you might as well just be asking for it because you have his attention now, and he doesn’t plan on letting you go.

Tears: How do they feel about seeing their darling scream, cry, and/or isolate themselves?

Again, this goes back to Regret. Yes, he hates seeing you cry, he would rather you be happy because he’s at his happiest when you are at your happiest. However, he thinks you’re upset over something else. His mind doesn’t understand you crying because of his actions or something he said. Isolating yourself never goes over well. He just wants to be around you…all the fucking time. It’s another behavior that he doesn’t understand.

Unique: Would they do anything different from the classic yandere?

He would actually have posters of other girls on his walls while holding you captive.

Vice: What weakness can their darling exploit in order to escape?

His soft heart. Play the part of his good girl. Sit on his lap, smile at him, give him kisses. He will let his guard down eventually.

Wit’s end: Would they ever hurt their darling?

Sometimes, it’s on accident. Aside from a punishment spanking or a warning smack, if he gets really angry, he’ll push you. I mean like push you-push you. You’ll probably get knocked out from conking your head against the wall so hard.

Xoanon: How much would they revere or worship their darling? To what length would they go to win their darling over?

He likes to kiss your ass. Leave sloppy, wet trails from his lips, sometimes leaving little bite marks. His type of worship is more of an ass kink than anything. It’s not an actual worshipping because he sees you as his little love to control rather than an actual goddess to worship.

Yearn: How long do they pine after their darling before they snap?

It doesn’t take long. Yuji falls in love with you pretty quickly, and he would probably spend a few weeks to maybe one month before he starts revealing hidden parts of his personality to you.

Zenith: Would they ever break their darling?

He likes a broken little bird that he can take care of. He’ll snap your wings just to make sure you don’t fly away. He will break you if that’s what it takes to make you realize that you belong to him, that you were made to be his, and that there’s no one else to go to.

#yandere #triggering content #yandere x reader #yandere x you #yandere x y/n #triggering themes #yandere x darling #yandere themes #yandere jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen yuji #yandere yuji itadori x reader #yandere yuji itadori #yandere yuji #yuji jjk #jjk yuji #yuji itadori #yandere itadori yuuji #itadori yuji

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misscammiedawn · 22 hours

Note

You may have discussed it before, but would you mind speaking a little bit on how you discovered you have DID?

I feel like I have a pretty stable core identity but there have been times under intense stress where I’ve experienced sudden “switches” in my personality. During a particularly bad period for a little over a year there was a time where I distinctly felt like a different person and did things I wouldn’t normally do, and I remember the specific moment where I came back into my body and became “me” again. This doesn’t happen often, but it has happened more than once throughout my life. When I see people talk about plurality I feel a little confused because their identities often seem to have their own names and genders and ages and backstories, and it seems so cut-and-dry.

I know these are all things to discuss with my therapist but I love how you talk about your own experiences. How can you differentiate between DID and other kinds of dissociation?

Thank you for asking, anon! I'm glad you are going to talk to your therapist about it while also doing the reading and reaching out-- heaven knows our own journey within the US mental healthcare system was rocky at best. The latest chapter of Madison/Belladonna is heavily sourced from IRL circumstances both in receiving the diagnosis and the decades long journey in the mental healthcare system to get there.

But to answer more directly-- (as always we are answering from a psychopathology lens for care and treatment, we recognize the beauty of plurality and do not reduce ALL experiences to mental healthcare concerns, we are approaching our own situation and experiences this way as it is how we lived it)

Our journey was guided from the outside. Both therapists and our partner who was able to see these "mood swings" in us were able to gently guide us to water despite our fierce denial and rejection of our situation. What started as "we're fine" turned to "mood swings" turned to "BPD" turned to "---maybe we should read up on OSDD?" Turned to our current therapist telling us over a year ago that we had DID after months of testing and interviewing to determine.

I should also note I likely realized it MULTIPLE times in my history and buried it again and again. I legitimately think that people in my former life knew and either assumed I knew too or worse I had told them and forgot that I told them. It worries me because I cannot ever be certain. I once asked my ex-wife about it after the divorce/diagnosis and she did say it was weird how she had a "different husband" depending on environment and social group. She said she never noticed it during the interactions, but she would always think back and feel that the "me" in any given moment was different from the ones she observed in social/work situations etc.

So like--- even if people notice, sometimes they don't even realize what they're seeing. Honestly I go full No Mask at work even when a male part fronts and no one really bats an eye. I don't think *most* people are as observant as we worry they are.

ANYWAY! Looking back these are the signs that I ignored:

- I not just wrote a consistent journal through every phase of my life (even going as far as to have a "memory list" that I populated "when I felt like it" (<- IE: when a part that associated with the memory was fronting and wanted to type about it) and more importantly I READ it. Often. I sometimes think that the majority of our memories are just imagined versions of what we wrote. That notion is helped by the fact we [used to] stop journaling during times of crisis or delete journal/chat log to prevent us thinking about distressing things.

- I wrote a lot of plural characters in my stories since my teenage years. Kinda like I kept writing female versions of myself? Funny how the Trans and DID acceptance arcs are so dang similar.

- I would emotionally cave in on myself after gatherings, berating myself for how I had acted all evening. Getting deeply upset at how "out of control" I was. We outright AVOID mood altering substances like alcohol or weed.

- When talking about traumatic memories we typically just tell the story rote. It doesn't bother us. We told therapists without batting an eyelid. This is dissociation. We were disconnecting ourselves from our memories. Emotionally distancing ourselves from the experiences.

- In the same vein, when we remember things we imagine things in locations like a 3rd person camera. Not populated. We don't hear or feel or associate. It's just a place and a knowledge. Our whole "context packet" thing where we just understand something without *feeling* it.

- Deleted emails and chatlogs, references to things we don't remember. Discord messages with people we don't remember talking to. It bothers me how many people in our online communities we were actually close to at some stage of our life and then erased. This is specific to us but Dawn has opened many accounts in the hypnokink community and Camden has shut them down and this has happened so many times that we don't even get upset when we find a buried email from 2013 with sign-up to a Yahoo Email account we don't remember having. That sounds dramatic. It's more just. Go into your emails, pull stuff up from 5-10 years ago and just scroll a while. See how much you remember and associate into. It's NORMAL to forget what websites you were browsing a decade ago. It's not normal to have an entire *LIFE* you hid from yourself.

- Sometimes people just... saw/knew us before we did and there were times when they would describe a version of us they weren't supposed to see and we got complete dysphoria over it. Sometimes it as joyful. Someone we love saw Cammie well enough to say when we transitioned that they wanted to see that "windswept girl with the big smile" all of the time. Sometimes it's mortifying, like when someone approaches Camden as if she is Dawn and Camden REJECTED that side of us so heavily that it caused emotional meltdowns and turmoil because Camden didn't WANT to be a sexy confident domme, she could barely see herself as a woman, when people saw the wrong version of us *without permission* it was just a violation that made things WORSE.

- On that note-- meltdowns-- we mentioned the whole "after a social gathering we'd emotionally cave in on ourselves" thing, there was a lot of that. After work we'd get a complete drop from having to be in Manager Mode all day or we'd have a crisis after erotic intimacy encounters because we're sex repulsed ace. The fact is our nervous system was activated during those times, our survival instincts were kicked in and brought the part associated to the surface to DEAL and when they backed off our body was still reacting to the trauma trigger and it would cause us to implode.

All of these things in therapy brought us to the conclusion of BPD. Because therapists be like that at times. A *TRAUMA* therapist gave us some DES-II, MID and ACE tests and worked out what was going on within 3 months.

It took a further 6-9 months with constant support from loved ones who were able to see us as individuals to *ACCEPT* it. This is a denial disorder, it doesn't want to be found. Asking questions, being honest and being accepting is the best way to come to terms with it. I wish it were easier and I wish you luck and support in your journey. Our inbox is always open!

You're not alone <3

#cammie asks #DID #dissociative identity disorder #watch me post my trauma in public

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oneshotnewbie · 2 days

Note

Hello hello!

Maya Bishop x fem reader, where Maya doesn’t want a relationship so its just sex between them at first. Reader is an orthopedic doctor (best friends of Amelia Shepherd) and Maya gets jealous of R and another doctor flirting.

𝘈𝘶𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘳𝘴 𝘯𝘰𝘵𝘦: 𝘔𝘢𝘺𝘢 𝘨𝘦𝘵𝘴 𝘢 𝘭𝘪𝘵𝘵𝘭𝘦 𝘣𝘪𝘵 𝘵𝘰𝘹𝘪𝘤 𝘵𝘰𝘸𝘢𝘳𝘥𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘦𝘯𝘥. 𝘐𝘵 𝘸𝘢𝘴𝘯'𝘵 𝘢𝘤𝘵𝘶𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘐 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘥, 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘐 𝘥𝘰𝘯'𝘵 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸 𝘩𝘰𝘸 𝘪𝘵 𝘨𝘰𝘵 𝘮𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦. 𝘏𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘢 𝘯𝘪𝘤𝘦 𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘳𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘦𝘦𝘬, 𝘮𝘺 𝘥𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘴! ❤️

ᕚ---ᕘ

Maya Bishop rubbed her eyes as the first rays of sunlight filtered through the half-closed curtains of her bedroom. Last night had been intense, full of passion and a familiarity that never ceased to surprise her. Beside her, you were still sound asleep, the most talented orthopedic doctor she had the pleasure of meeting at Grey Sloan Memorial Hospital. The blonde flipped her hair to the side and watched your chest rise and fall in the calm rhythm of sleep. You were beautiful, smart, and most importantly, someone with whom Maya had a special connection. But she also knew that she had to keep this connection within limits.

Quietly, she pushed the blanket aside and crept out of bed. She quickly put on a t-shirt and sweatpants and went to the kitchen to make coffee. As the water boiled, she couldn't stop her thoughts from wandering back to the last few months. Her affair with you had started as an innocent flirtation but had quickly turned into something much more intense. But she always set clear boundaries. She didn't want a committed relationship, especially not now that she was taking her new role as Captain of Station 19 so seriously.

With two steaming cups of coffee, Maya went back to the bedroom. You were awake by now and leaning on your elbow as she entered. Your smile was sleepy but bright. “Good morning,” you said in your soft, melodic voice. "Good morning," the blonde replied, handing you a cup and sitting on the edge of the bed.

"Last night was amazing... just like always," you spoke as you took a sip. Your eyes sparkled in the penetrating rays of sunlight, and for a moment Maya felt tempted to forget everything else and just enjoy the moment. But she knew she couldn't do that.

"Yes, it was," she replied, immediately feeling a knot in her stomach. “But y/n, we need to talk.”

You placed your cup on the nightstand and gave her a piercing stare as you slowly sat up. "I have a feeling nothing good will come of this conversation."

Maya took a deep breath and lowered her gaze to the steam from her cup before focusing back on you with a clearing of her throat. "Y/n, you know I really like you. But I told you from the start that I don't want a committed relationship. My life is just too complicated right now. Station 19 demands everything from me, and I can't do it. I can't afford to be distracted."

You nodded slowly, your gaze becoming serious. "I understand, Maya. But I thought maybe... it could change. I mean, we have a really good time together."

"We did too," she confirmed and immediately continued. "But I can't give you anything more than what we have now. It's important to me that we be honest with each other. I don't want either of us to get hurt because we have different expectations."

You looked away sadly and turned back to the hot cup to avert your gaze from it. "So just sex. No obligations." You stated and Maya felt relieved that you were taking it so calmly, but also a little sad. She didn't want to lose you, but she just couldn't give you anymore. "Yes, exactly. Just sex, nothing more."

You smiled weakly. "Alright, Maya. I appreciate your honesty. And I also like you enough to give up what we have, even if it's not the full package." The blonde reached out and touched your arm. A shudder overtook your entire body, as it did with every touch of her kind. "Thank you, y/n. That means a lot to me."

After the interview, the day passed at a hectic pace, as was usual on the ward and in the hospital. Deployments, training, operations and constant readiness took their toll on Maya and you. But Maya's thoughts of you didn't completely leave her. She couldn't deny that she was more attracted to you than she had originally planned. But she was determined to keep her priorities clear.

Late in the afternoon, when she found herself on a short break, she found a message from you on her cell phone. "I hope your day hasn't been too stressful so far. Let's see again soon if you want to let out your frustrations. And don't worry, I stick to our agreement."

Maya smiled slightly and quickly typed an answer before the signal sounded for another field mission. "Thanks, y/n. Looking forward to next time."

As she put the phone away, she knew the coming weeks and months would be challenging. Balancing her professional responsibilities and her personal feelings would not be easy to maintain. But she was determined to try. For yourself and for you.

ᕚ---ᕘ

Maya Bishop sat in the passenger seat of the ambulance, staring at the buildings whizzing by. An intensive fire service operation in a multi-story office building demanded a lot from her. Although she had been able to avoid most injuries, a probably dislocated knee definitely needed medical attention. Once again she went to Grey Sloane Memorial Hospital. This time not just because of an injury, but also because she hoped to see you again.

When they arrived at the emergency room, she was met by an on-duty paramedic and taken to an examination room. The familiar hustle and bustle of the hospital brought a strange calm to her thoughts. She knew that you, as an orthopedic specialist, would be right there with her.

"Please wait here, Captain Bishop. Dr. y/l/n will take care of you in a moment," the nurse said, leaving the blonde alone on a bed in the outpatient clinic. A few minutes later the curtain opened and you walked in, a smile on your face. "Maya, what happened?"

The person addressed smiled weakly and pointed to her leg. "Unfortunate accident during the operation. An unseen beam was in the way."

You immediately went to work, carefully examining the knee with gentle touches and preparing the necessary supplies to set it back into place. "That looks bad, but it's not. I'll put it back in place and give you a knee brace."

Maya nodded and watched you work. It was reassuring to see how focused and skilled you were. But suddenly the curtain was opened again and another doctor walked in without being asked. “Y/n, do you have any plans tonight?” The surgeon asked, not noticing the blonde, stepping close to you. She placed a hand on your back, a gesture that was clearly more than just collegial.

You looked briefly at Maya and then back at the specialist. "Um, Calliope, I'm busy right now."

Callie smiled smugly and kept her hand on your back for a moment longer than necessary. "Oh, I just wanted to make sure you didn't forget that you still owe me a drink. For you know how long."

The firefighter felt her stomach tighten. The way she looked at and touched you left no doubt that she was flirting heavily with you. The jealousy burned hot inside Maya and she couldn't take it anymore. "Sorry, but Dr. y/l/n is in the middle of a treatment right now," she spoke, her voice sharper than intended. "Maybe you can come back later."

Callie looked at her as if she was just now noticing her. A wry smile played on her lips. "Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to disturb." She spoke, but her eyes showed that she knew exactly what she was doing.

You gave her a warning look and cleared your throat. "Callie, we'll talk later, okay?" You spoke and she shrugged before leaving the room, but not before taking one last meaningful look at you. The curtain closed behind her and Maya could hardly contain the anger and jealousy.

You sighed and concentrated on her knee again, bringing it back to its original point with a short twist. "I'm sorry, Maya. Callie can be... very direct sometimes."

"Very direct?" Maya repeated sharply, sucking in a sharp breath as the pain caught up with her. "She practically flirted with you like I wasn't even here."

You paused and looked deep into her eyes. "I know it was awkward. But you need to know that I respect you and take our agreement seriously."

“It’s not just about the agreement, y/n,” she said, her voice quieter. "It's about how seeing someone so obviously flirting with you makes me feel like an idiot."

You took off your gloves and threw them in the designated trash can before reaching for Maya's hand. "Maya, you are important to me. And I have no interest in Calliope or anyone else. Even if we just have sex, that doesn't mean I don't care about you."

The blonde took a deep breath and nodded slowly while her thumb became independent and gently stroked the back of your hand. "I know, y/n. It's just... difficult. I don't want our agreement to mean that you're open to anyone else. You're mine."

You grinned slightly, your cheeks slightly blushing. "I'm not. You're important to me and I don't want you to feel that way. I'll talk to her and make it clear that I'm not interested."

Maya felt somewhat reassured, but the jealousy still gnawed at her. You took out the knee brace and placed it around her knee. "So, that should be it. You need to try not to act out so much and get it checked by your doctor in a few days."

The person spoken to nodded and stood up, carefully pushing her pants over her knee. "Thanks, y/n. And...sorry if I overreacted."

You stepped closer and hugged her gently. She hugged you tighter, your warmth so incredibly attractive. "It's okay, Maya. I understand. We'll work it out."

Maya left the hospital with mixed feelings. Jealousy was a new element in her relationship with you, and she knew she had to deal with it. But despite everything, she felt a deep connection to you that she couldn't just ignore. And that just made everything more complicated.

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starboy-sirius · 3 days

Text

without touching his skin (how can i be guilty as sin?)

jegulus modern au (with a sprinkle of wolfstar) based off this post by @starchaserdreams because i saw it and couldn't not write it (hope that's okay!!) 7642 words | read it on ao3 here! |

✧˖*°࿐

James laughs at his best friend Sirius, who is staring at his phone in horror, his eyes wide and unblinking as he looks at the text James just sent from his phone. His mouth is open and he looks ridiculous. He’s likely to catch flies at this rate and James can’t help but cackle at his shocked face.

It’s no secret that Sirius has been crushing on their friend Remus for the past year, following him around with puppy eyes and hanging off his every word. James has told him time and time again to make his move, that Remus won’t be horrible to him if he confesses because when has Remus ever been horrible to either of them? Never. So he wouldn’t so much as hurt a hair on Sirius’ head if the boy confessed.

James also has it on good authority that Remus has fancied Sirius for nearly two years now, so he isn’t setting Sirius up for failure by urging him to confess. Of course, he’s sworn to secrecy by both of them so it’s not like he can spill either of their secrets to the other, even if it would help things along immensely. But Sirius being Sirius wouldn’t stop whining about how he wishes he could just confess already.

James was only trying to make it easier for him.

So it has come to this. James grabbed Sirius’ phone before he could realise what he was doing, and sent Remus a text saying hey can we talk? I need to tell you something. It’s genius if you ask James because he’s done half the work for him. Making the initial move is always the most nerve wracking and James has gotten that out of Sirius’ way.

Honestly, James isn’t sure why Sirius isn’t on his knees thanking him. Where’s the excitement? Usually James would be engulfed in a hug by now.

“James, what the fuck?” Sirius whispers, eyes glued to his phone at the very unsendable text message.

“It’s a good thing, mate! Now you just have to confess and boom! Dating,” James grins, patting Sirius’ thigh and leaning back into the beanbag he’s currently sitting in with an air of victory to him.

Finally, Sirius lifts his eyes from the phone and tosses it across the room. He serves James a deadly stare. “James.”

Feeling apprehension dance along his spine, James sits up straighter. Sirius doesn’t say anything else, only stares at James with a look that gets more intense the longer it goes on. James fidgets uncomfortably. “Um, Sirius? You okay there, bud?”

“James,” Sirius repeats unblinkingly. “Because I love you, I am going to give you a ten second head start, but if you don’t run right now I am going to kill you.”

Alarmed, James jolts in the beanbag and tenses his legs as his flight mode activates. He wavers, mainly because he’s unsure as to whether Sirius is joking or not, but he gets ready just in case. “Really? I was only trying to help you out!”

“Really,” Sirius confirms gravely. “Ready? Countdown starts now.”

“Wait, Sirius—”

“Ten—”

“I really don’t think this is nece—”

“Nine—”

“I was only help—”

“Eight—”

“Fuck, okay,” James scrambles upwards and dashes out of Sirius’ bedroom.

The positive to this situation is that Sirius’ house is fucking enormous. He’s a little on the richer side, which isn’t a huge shock because James is fairly wealthy himself, but Sirius moved into this place with his younger brother and his eldest cousin because his parents were verbally and physically abusing them. His cousin took them in immediately and Sirius helped buy them this place with the money that was left to him by a relative.

The house, if one could call it that, is ornately decorated and very tasteful. It is more of a manor, James thinks as he rushes up a double staircase and onto the next floor’s landing. There are many paintings hung on the wall, some of them James knows were painted by Regulus, Sirius’ younger brother, and some are the works of Sirius’ niece, who also lives with them. Even the toddler’s paintings are encased in the same intricate, golden frames as some of the priceless antique ones and it makes James smile, even as he’s racing for his life.

He can’t hear Sirius counting anymore but he knows that the boy must have stopped by now and is on the hunt for him. Honestly, James thinks he’s being a little dramatic but that’s an average day for Sirius, and so James thanks his lucky stars that Sirius hasn’t decided to go truly overboard. This is actually quite mild for him.

A sudden bang from downstairs has James panicking and diving into the first door he comes across. It’s steamy when he first enters, a thick haze of heat hitting him in the face and James tries not to choke on the sudden onslaught. The smell is delicious, however, and James finds himself moving further into the room as his nose leads him to the pleasant scent. As he moves further into the ridiculously large room, James identifies that it smells of lavender, bergamot and pine.

He wishes he could bottle it and spray it on his pillow so that he could get a guaranteed night of good sleep, because holy fuck does he want to ingest this smell right now.

The sound of rushing water vaguely registers in his mind because suddenly it ceases, James now coming to the dawning realisation that the room he’s in is a bathroom and that there is definitely someone in here with him. Someone who was showering not seconds ago. Which means that whoever is in the shower-tub combo is probably about to step out of it. Naked. The person in the shower is going to step out of it dripping wet and completely naked.

It could be Andromeda, Sirius’ cousin, or her husband Ted, or Regulus, Sirius’ brother. James doesn’t know which option is worse, they’re all awful for different reasons. Ah yes, a dripping wet, naked Regulus, how awful indeed, his brain supplies and James feels his skin flush.

Listen, okay. James has known Sirius since they were eleven and met at some fancy, rich boarding school that all their ancestors had apparently gone to, which meant they had to as well. So he’s known him for quite a while, given that James is now twenty-one and at another prestigious university that their ancestors also went to. This means that he’s known Regulus for that time as a result of his unbreakably close friendship with Sirius.

At first, James had thought Regulus was adorable with his cherub cheeks and his little curls. He looked like a child that would be modelling for kids clothing brands, but when he opened his mouth? Goddamn, he was such a little shit. He’d taken one look at James and spat the most unhinged insults James had ever heard. At age ten, no less! It had knocked James down a peg initially, but truthfully? James had become a little enamoured with Sirius’ spiteful younger brother.

Sirius had apologised profusely to James, worrying that his little brother had put him off being best friends. He rushed to explain that it was a result of the way they’d been raised, which had then prompted the conversation about their parents which had James equally furious as he was heartbroken. James promised him that he had nothing to worry about, that he liked Regulus and his biting comments. You’re not getting rid of me that easily, James told him before crushing him in a tight hug.

So James had grown up with Sirius and therefore Regulus, and he’s watched the younger boy blossom in his own ways. He’d never hung out with them much at boarding school, having his own group of equally sarcastic and sharp-minded friends who looked at James like he was prey they could hunt and destroy. Despite their less than friendly demeanors, James always tried to talk to them when he could, wanting to get on with them because he cared for Regulus and they were his best friends. Openly, his favourite was Pandora, who was always the most receptive to him. Secretly, his second favourite was Barty because the boy had a wicked sense of humour when it wasn’t aimed at James with his incessant need to take the piss out of him.

Regulus and his friends had followed in their footsteps and gone to the same university, which James knows Sirius was secretly happy about because it meant that he could spend more time with him before they got jobs and lives of their own. A part of James was happy too but he hadn’t wanted to look into why exactly that was.

Of course, James knew deep down why exactly it was.

Watching Regulus grow up from someone he classified as ‘Sirius’ little brother’ to Regulus, a young man who had his own name, his own personality, dreams and desires. A young man whom James could no longer deny to himself that he found effortlessly attractive.

Which left James with the problem he has now: fancying Regulus. James is well aware that Regulus is his own person, but it doesn’t change the fact that he’s still Sirius’ brother, and James knows that Sirius would throw the hissy fit to end all hissy fits if James reveals that he fancies him. So James pines silently for the boy who throws insults at him like its second nature, like it’s as easy as breathing. It only makes James like him all the more, because the majority of people in James’ life trip over themselves to please him, but not Regulus. Regulus would rather set his hair on fire than be nice to James, he knows.

Speaking of his hair, goddamn.

Still curly as ever, only it’s longer now and it wafts elegantly around the nape of his neck, some parts of it wavier than curly. It looks like a halo, James thinks. He’s an angel. A fire spitting angel, which James thinks is the best kind. He’s elegant and lean and perfect, his skin like a doll’s and his lips pouty and shaped like Cupid’s arrow. James would do anything to kiss him.

But James is a gentleman and he will not try anything on Regulus because he is Sirius’ brother, and he knows it would only complicate things between everyone. He also has no idea whether Regulus even likes him like that, everything seems to point to the negative considering they can’t have a conversation with Regulus insulting him at every opportunity. James thinks he’s rather insane to enjoy the way Regulus’ words cut into him, and he knows that just because he’s apparently gone mad doesn’t mean Regulus has. It doesn’t mean Regulus enjoys their verbal sparring as James does.

James is a gentleman. He isn’t going to attempt anything with Regulus, end of story.

He wishes he could remember that as a creamy, pale leg appears from behind the shower curtain and his brain completely short circuits. As the leg touches the ground an equally creamy and pale arm darts out to grab at the forest green towel hanging up on the wall, and then his entire body is out and James only just misses being flashed as the towel is brought up over the man’s crotch.

Regulus’ crotch, because that is Regulus who has just gotten out of the shower. Regulus, who was naked a moment ago. Who is still naked now technically. He hasn’t even wrapped the towel around himself yet, is only holding it over his crotch and James feels like he’s going to faint. He's so lightheaded. He wants to believe it’s the steam but he can’t bring himself to pretend that it’s not all that exposed skin in front of him.

Regulus hasn’t noticed he’s there yet as he brings the towel up to his face to wipe the water from his eyes. His skin is tinged pink from the heat of the water and James briefly wonders what it would be like to mark that skin, to leave it mottled with purples and reds and teeth marks. He grows hotter at every passing thought.

He’s broken from his reverie when Regulus attempts to bring the towel up to his hair to dry the edges briefly. James knows that he only does it a little because the towel is too heavy on his curls and usually he uses an old t-shirt of Sirius’ that he stole, but all this information flies out of the window with what’s left of his melting brain as Regulus raises the towel high enough that it threatens to expose him.

James lets out a rather embarrassing, strangled squeak at the prospect and is met with a frozen Regulus, who pauses and locks eyes with him, the steely grey going wide before narrowing playfully. He brings the towel down slowly, far too slowly for someone who is naked and vulnerable and naked, James thinks.

Regulus wraps the towel around his waist, slinging it so low on his hips that James thinks he’s going to go into cardiac arrest, and leans back against the wall behind him. He smirks at James as he runs a head through his curls. Beads of water drip from his hair, down his neck and tantalisingly down his torso, traversing the divots of his toned abdomen. James follows a single drop from his prominent collarbones, past his pink nipples and down, down, down his lovely stomach. Just as the droplet is falling into the trail of hair underneath his belly button, James is brought back into the present by a teasing cough.

Snapping his eyes back up to Regulus’ face, he finds that the boy is already looking at him with a single raised eyebrow. James feels his face flush and he prays that he doesn’t look like a tomato. Especially since Regulus is standing there like a Greek god, like someone who would be honoured by a multitude of sculptures that people like James would pay exorbitant amounts of money to stare at.

“Hi, James,” Regulus purrs, his eyes never leaving James’ face.

“Hi,” James replies faintly, his voice slightly croaky from where it’s mostly been open since Regulus stepped out of the shower.

Regulus grins like a shark but softens it when his tongue pokes out to wet his bottom lip. James is attached to the movement like a limpet to the side of a ship. “Did you step in here so that you could catch me naked, James?”

“What?! No! Of course not! It was an accident, I swear,” James proclaims, arms waving around like a madman as he tries to remain calm. He can’t believe Regulus caught him in his bathroom, naked from his shower, and is just lounging against the wall with a permanent smirk on his face.

James feels incredibly out of depth.

Regulus hums, a delicate hand coming up to trace at his collarbone and play with the water droplets there. He tilts his neck to give himself more access and huffs out a laugh as James’ eyes follow the movement religiously. “That’s a shame.”

James nods, blindly agreeing without really listening, intently focused on the longer finger as it trails back and forth on Regulus’ marble-like skin. James wants to bite it. He snaps back to reality when his brain catches on to what Regulus has said. “Wait, what?”

“You know,” Regulus changes the topic, bringing his hand down to rest at the knot of the towel and James feels like his heart is going to give up on him. And that his dick is going to become very noticeable in his trousers. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you blush this much. What’s gotten you so worked up, James?”

James wants to curse him because he knows what’s gotten him so worked up, the little shit. James was wrong, Regulus is not an angel, he's the devil incarnate and he refuses to stand here and be embarrassed by him. Not long ago were the days where James used to tease him until he was beaming a bright red. James doesn’t like how the tables have turned.

Distantly, James hears a victorious shout followed by what is definitely Sirius yelling his name like a madman. Regulus’ eyes flicker from James to the bathroom door and the latter realises that it’s the first time Regulus’ eyes have left him since he realised James was in here too.

James sends him a sheepish smile as he begins to walk himself backward, as if Regulus is a wild animal he needs to keep his eyes on at all times lest he turn his back and allow himself to be attacked. “Well, that’s my cue! Lovely seeing you again, Regulus.”

Regulus’ eyes twinkle as he runs a hand over his wet curls. “Truly a pleasure, James. Try not to make a habit of following me into the bathroom when I’m wet and naked, hm?”

The laugh that forces its way out of James’ mouth is strained and bordering on hysterical as he tries not to trip on his way out. He’s still looking at Regulus, who’s staring at him like he’s a meal he wants to devour, and he can’t even find himself able to speak English. Garbled noises are the only thing that he’s able to come up with and it only makes Regulus’ smirk ever more shark-like. With one last look at the enticing boy in front of him, James fumbles with the door handle and practically sprints out of the bathroom.

The alluring pull of Regulus’ silver eyes doesn't leave his mind.

✧˖*°࿐

When James makes it back to Sirius’ bedroom on the floor below, Sirius is right where James left him, only that he’s sprawled out on his bed on his stomach, legs swishing back and forth with one hand twirling his wavy hair. James feels like he’s entered a rom-com.

“Er, Pads?” He asks, bewildered by the image he’s presented with. The nickname is a long standing one that James can’t even remember the origins for, only that he, Sirius and their two friends Remus and Peter all have corresponding animal nicknames.

“Prongs!” Sirius bellows as he jumps up and throws himself into James’ arms, his legs wrapping around his waist.

Huffing at the sudden weight, James pulls away to look at Sirius’ face. “Hey, sexy. Fancy meeting you here.”

Sirius laughs, throwing his head back. When he returns his gaze to James it’s mischievous. “You know I love you, Jamie, but I’m afraid we cannot continue flirting like this. You see, I’m about to be a taken man.”

James almost drops him. “Oh shit, it worked?!”

“Well, almost,” Sirius informs as he unwraps his legs and pulls James to the bed with him. “Just as I was about to come and kill you, he responded saying that he also had something to tell me. I didn’t want to do it over the phone though, so I’ve invited him here. He’s on his way.”

“Fuck yeah!” James shouts and piles on top of Sirius, planting wet kisses all over his face as Sirius laughs and wraps his limbs around him like an octopus. James begins to dig his fingers into Sirius’ sides, delighting in the breathless giggles he lets out. “Hey, I’m just trying to get my fill, alright? My best mate is about to get a boyfriend.”

“James!” Breathless and bordering on hiccups, Sirius manoeuvres James so that they’re laying side to side facing each other. “James, if it all goes wrong I need you to beat Moony up for me.”

“What?! I can’t beat Remus up! Have you seen him angry? He’d kill me!” James exclaims, wrapping an arm around Sirius’ waist.

“James, you have to! You’re my best friend, it’s basically the law,” Sirius whines, snuggling into the crook of James’ neck.

Sensing the undertones of the conversation, James quietens down. Amongst all the joking and laughing, James can tell that Sirius is scared to confess his feelings for Remus. He can’t help but find it sweet because he has nothing to worry about, but James isn’t going to spoil that for him.

“Listen to me, Sirius. You’re going to be okay. Remus isn’t going to hurt you or be mean to you, and even if he miraculously is then we’ll sic Regulus on him, okay?” James strokes a hand through Sirius’ hair, speaking softly.

Sirius seems to mull this over, humming as he does so, and comes to a positive conclusion. “Oh, that’s brilliant. I mean, Regulus quite likes Remus so it might be a little hard to convince him, but if he sees how upset I am then I’m sure he’ll oblige. Good thinking, Prongs.”

They lay there silently after that, neither of them speaking but rather enjoying the moment they’re sharing in each other’s arms. It took a while for Sirius to get to this stage with James because of the way he was raised. James was always showered with love and affection from his parents, growing into a very physically affectionate person, whereas Sirius was the complete opposite. Love wasn’t given freely if at all in his family home, and the only other person with whom he shared affectionate physical touch was Regulus. Both brothers took a while to get used to James’ love language (one of them, anyway), but Sirius was the first to succumb to his cuddles.

“Hey,” Sirius breaks the silence. “I’m probably going to talk to Remus in the garden because the flowers he helped plant are blooming and I want to show him. Do you mind staying up here by yourself? You can always go off and find Regulus if you get lonely.”

The thought brings James back to the bathroom and all that creamy skin on display, beckoning him like a blank canvas desperate to be brought to life by some paint. James never thought of himself as an artist but right now he would gladly take to Regulus’ body with his mouth as the brush.

Holy fuck, he cannot be thinking of Regulus like this when he is literally wrapped around his older brother. Sirius would surely kill him if he knew what James was thinking about. Would hunt him down to the ends of the earth if he knew that James wants to kiss Regulus until his lips are red and swollen, and wants to mark every inch of his body until no one questions that Regulus is his. He wants to have Regulus whining and panting underneath him, or on top of him, or quite literally in any position, in any place and at any time. James isn’t fussy, he’ll take Regulus however he can get him.

Right, totally failed at not thinking filthy thoughts of Regulus when he’s cuddled up to Sirius. Shit.

“Jamie? Are you alright?”

“Yes!” James nearly shouts and clears his throat when Sirius pulls away to look at him funny. “Perfectly well, thanks Pads.”

Before Sirius can object, there’s a knock at the door followed by the doorbell, and both boys shoot up so quickly that they trip over one another and fall into a heap on the floor. For a moment all they do is lie there as they contemplate getting up. They’re groaning, elbows and knees in places where those should never be, and James is pushing at Sirius’ shoulders in an attempt to make him get up.

“I’ve changed my mind, I can’t do it. You go and answer the door, Jamie. Tell him I’ve fallen ill.”

James rolls his eyes at Sirius who flops onto his back and throws an arm over his face like a fainting maiden. “Really, Sirius? What am I supposed to tell him you’ve come down with in fifteen minutes?”

Sirius contemplates it for a second before he’s snapping his fingers. “I know! We’ll tell him that it’s something you’ve come down with and I’ve caught it because it’s contagious. The whole house is on lockdown. It’s perfect!”

“Pads, that is the worst idea I’ve ever heard. There’s no way Remus will believe that.”

Huffing, Sirius throws his arms over his head and practically melts into the floor. “Well, I don’t see you coming up with any genius ideas!”

“Here’s one,” James responds sarcastically. “How about you go down and answer the door like a normal person? Take him to the garden to look at his flowers and then confess? You know, the original plan?”

Sirius looks at him. “James, that is just ridiculous.”

“Right.”

“Dumbest idea you’ve ever had.”

James watches Sirius as he stares up at the high ceiling, fondness creeping over his features. “Sirius, do you not think you’re going to hurt Remus if you turn him away now? After you’ve said you need to tell him something?”

The doorbell rings a second time.

In a rare moment of vulnerability, Sirius turns pleading eyes on James. “I can’t get the door, James. I can’t.”

James nods encouragingly. “You can, Sirius.”

“I can’t.”

The two of them are interrupted by the sounds of feet padding down the stairs. Unfortunately, James knows the sounds of those feet, and has practically committed them to memory. Regulus doesn’t enter the bedroom but he does call past the door, “I’ll get it, then, despite being a whole floor above. Tossers.”

Sirius and James stare at each other with wide eyes before they’re scrambling to get up, yelling out to Regulus, a cacophony of deep voices shouting up and down the stairs at each other.

“No, we’ll get it!”

“Reggie, you little shit, come back here!”

They bound down the stairs, practically flying past them as they race to get to the door before Regulus. It’s not like they’re worried Regulus will say or not anything harmful, as Sirius said Regulus is surprisingly fond of Remus and often seeks him out for intellectual conversation, or so he says. It’s just that Regulus is well aware of Sirius’ feelings toward Remus and he makes it his life’s mission to make every possible hint known to man.

James laughs wildly as they race against Regulus to get to the front door, Sirius cursing at the size of the house as they go, and once they reach the final set of stairs James hops on the bannister to slide down the the bottom.

It’s in vain, no matter how fun it was, because Regulus is already opening the door to a bored looking Remus. His expression changes dramatically when he sees the shit-eating grin on Regulus’ face, along with a panting James who looks wild with his hair sticking up everywhere, and Sirius who is a third of the way down the steps and clinging to the bannister as if he’s going to faint.

“Er, is this a bad time?” Remus asks, eyes darting between the three of them. He looks faintly amused.

Sirius shouts, “Yes, this is a terrible time, actually!”

Just as Regulus croons, “This is a wonderful time, Remus, do come in.”

The younger boy practically drags him in and Sirius’ eyes burn at the contact of their hands. James grins at Remus and brings him into a hug that is quickly reciprocated. “Hey, Moony.”

“James, good to see you,” Remus murmurs before he pulls away to stare at Sirius who still hasn’t moved from the stairs. Remus ignores the snickering from Regulus and walks towards him. “Hi, Sirius.”

Sirius feels as though he’s going to faint. God, Remus is just so pretty. He’s all caramel hair and tan skin, scars from a childhood accident crossing from his eye, over his nose and to the corner of his lip, and Sirius hasn’t seen anyone as beautiful as him. He’s tall, towering over Sirius and making him feel as though he could be devoured in one bite. Sirius would let him. He would let Remus do anything he wanted, even if it meant consuming him whole.

“Remus,” he breathes, heart pounding as Remus offers his hand out to him and he takes it, letting Remus assist him in walking down the stairs.

Once he’s at the bottom he has to look up to meet Remus’ eyes, crinkled and warm, and he still hasn’t let go of his hand. In fact, Remus’ thumb is caressing his hand, the touch gentle and loving. Sirius is definitely going to faint.

“Something you wanted to tell me, sweetheart?” Remus asks quietly, but it doesn’t matter because Regulus still hears it and fails to smother his laughter.

Before James realises what he’s doing, he’s bringing one hand up to cup the boy’s nape and the other presses firmly against his mouth, cutting any sounds off and muffling them under his large palm. Regulus’ eyes flash with promise and danger, and James feels it dance along his skin like lightning. He doesn’t say anything as they continue to stare at each other, but it’s okay because now Remus and Sirius can continue without Regulus teasing them.

“Not here,” Sirius sends a glare towards Regulus, who is paying him no mind now that James has his hands on him. “Do you want to go to the garden? Your flowers we planted are blooming. We can talk there.”

Intertwining their fingers, Remus nods with a smile. “I would love to.”

The two of them make their way towards the garden, but Sirius turns back at the last second, looking at James and Regulus who are still staring at one another. “James? You okay, mate?”

Snapping out of the haze, James flies away from Regulus as though he’s been bitten. He has to look at his hand to check that Regulus didn’t actually nip him. The boy sends that infuriatingly hot smirk his way, like he knows every dirty thing that James has ever thought about him, and James can feel himself beginning to sweat.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” James responds, voice abnormally high pitched. “Think I’m going to go and play video games in your room.”

“Alright, mate! Have fun,” Sirius chirps before he’s dragging a sappy looking Remus along with him.

The silence in the foyer is so loaded that James thinks he could fire a gun with it. He’s instantly brought back to half an hour ago when he was in the bathroom, steam clouding his judgement and Regulus leaning back against the wall, water dripping down his lithe body looking like the figment of James’ wildest dreams and worst intentions.

It’s clear to him now, he wants to do the dirtiest, most filthy things to Regulus.

It’s also clear that he can’t do them without possibly ruining his friendship with Sirius, so he nods once to Regulus and attempts to make his way back upstairs. Regulus’ voice stops him like a siren’s call, and James is but a lowly sailor lost at sea and begging for a miracle. “Wouldn’t you rather play with me, James?”

It’s all he can do not to groan aloud. “Regulus,” he strains, voice tight.

“It’s okay,” Regulus purrs, stalking forward like a predator until his front is up against James’ back. The older boy sucks in a sharp breath. “I know you want to, James. Just let go. Give in to me.”

The thought is so tempting. All James wants to do is turn around and press his lips to Regulus’ in a smouldering kiss. He wants to walk him backwards until he’s shoving Regulus harshly into a wall, licking his way into the boy’s mouth and pressing a thigh against his crotch.

James whines at the thought, and he can’t even bring himself to be embarrassed at the sound when he feels Regulus smirk against his neck. He gasps when Regulus’ lips brush the sensitive skin of his neck, “Regulus.”

“I know you want me, James,” Regulus taunts, his naughty fingers brushing against James’ hips. “Turn around. You can have me.”

It’s the press of his soft lips against his neck that forcibly pulls James from the moment, eyes snapping open so quickly that he doesn't recall ever closing them. He practically jumps away from Regulus, the laughter that bubbles from his throat sounding more hysterical and breathless by the second.

He doesn’t turn around as he shouts, “Have to go! Great to see you again, Reg!”

James makes it two floors up in record speed, diving into Sirius’ double bed and groaning loudly. He ignores the aching problem in his trousers and tries to think of anything else. It’s a while before he can bring himself to unbury himself from the pillows of Sirius’ bed and actually play a game like he said.

All he can think about is that he would much rather be playing with Regulus and how he won’t allow himself to.

✧˖*°࿐

It’s the middle of the night, sometime past one o’clock, and James is wide awake.

After he’d spent most of the day playing video games alone, Sirius and Remus had entered his bedroom with matching grins and shiny red lips. James took one look at them before he lept up from the bean bag and pulled them both into a tight hug. He took great pleasure in telling both of them that he knew their feelings were reciprocated and that sitting watching them both pine was beyond painful, but that he’s happy they’re together now.

Sirius looked incredibly put off that James had kept the secret from him, because they don’t do secrets, which in turn made James feel guilty because he was keeping his secret desires for his brother from him. James tries to reason with himself that he’s keeping it from him for his own good. After all, it isn’t like James is going to act on his feelings, so it’s never going to come to light. James is going to die with this secret.

Remus looked pleased at the news that James had kept his secret, and James had pouted at him because really, Moony? Do you have such little faith in me? Remus had rolled his eyes and pulled James into his side.

They spent the rest of the day talking about everything and anything, as they so usually do, but this time it was more geared towards Sirius and Remus and their endless yearning for one another. They played video games and spoke of the literature Remus was currently reading that James took an interest in. He'd recently read Pride and Prejudice and loved it, so Remus was giving him more recommendations every day.

Once their conversation featured more yawning than words, Sirius had dragged the two of them into his bed and snuggled up facing Remus, pulling James close behind him and sighing in content when both boys wrapped their arms around his middle. Remus rolled his eyes at him before getting comfortable, a small yet happy smile on his face. James had snuggled right in, comforted by the familiar smell of Sirius’ shampoo and Remus’ cologne.

He thought he’d sleep through the night soundly, but he was wrong.

So now he lies awake on his back, staring at the ceiling because if he doesn’t then he’ll end up staring at the way Remus and Sirius are curled perfectly into one another like puzzle pieces. At some point, Sirius had turned around and Remus had pulled him tightly into the curve of his body, his face burying into Sirius’ neck almost possessively.

James hadn’t felt like he was particularly welcome after that.

He sighs dramatically, very happy for his friends but unable to stop the loneliness from creeping in. Fidgeting, he tries to get comfortable but ultimately he knows that it’s going to take a while for him to fall asleep again, if he ever will. Once he’s had enough of pretending to sleep, James carefully lifts the blanket from his body and sneaks out of the bed, cautious not to wake his two friends up in the process.

He shuffles from the bed, careful not to stand on the floorboards that squeak or trip over the bean bags he knows they didn’t tidy up. Having been to Sirius’ house since he moved in years ago, treating it as his second home, James knows all the spots in the house that make noises, like the spot just in front of Sirius’ bedroom door, the fifth and eighth step in the staircase up to Regulus’ floor, and the three in a row on the staircase down to the kitchen. James hops over those but miscalculates due to his tiredness and accidentally steps on the third one.

He winces as he pauses, waiting to hear the telltale sign that someone has woken up, and breathes a sigh of relief when he doesn’t hear anything. The house is still slumbering, as James wishes he was, which he’s thankful for because little Dora is a nightmare when she gets woken up. James completely understands because he, too, gets incredibly grumpy if he’s woken up randomly in the night. Sirius jokes that it’s the only time he isn’t a ray of sunshine.

Manoeuvring his way quietly down the rest of the stairs, James pads into the kitchen and goes about getting himself a glass of water. He thinks he could find his way around this kitchen even if he was drunk, blindfolded and under some temporary spell of amnesia.

Leaning against the counter, James admires the way the moon shines in through the windows. It’s full, James having to squint to make sure it is actually a full moon, and it looks ethereal sitting in the dark blue of the midnight sky. Looking up at it, James wonders if the moon ever gets lonely hanging in the sky by itself and he can’t help but feel like the moon sometimes. It’s surrounded by glistening stars and yet it is still alone, shining brightly. James wonders if it has a favourite star.

James sure does.

A creak that sounds very similar to the one James caused on the stairs earlier interrupts his train of thought. He waits with bated breath to see who he’s going to have to have an awkward midnight conversation with and prays it isn’t Remus or Sirius, because he doesn’t know how to tell them that sharing a bed with them makes him feel lonely.

He’s saved from that conversation when his favourite star walks through the archway.

Regulus is as beautiful at night as he is in the day, only now he’s softened by sleep and looking deliciously rumpled. His pale skin gleams in the moonlight making him look like his namesake and James just wants to bask in his glow for the rest of his life.

He’s wearing the smallest shorts known to man, so little as they ride up his creamy thighs that James thinks they look more like underwear. Perhaps they are, but James’ brain has melted from his head and he’s now trying to operate without one. All he can manage to do is stare at Regulus unblinkingly. The boy still hasn’t noticed James as he shuffles in the kitchen, one hand combing through his dark hair, which gives the older boy more time to ogle.

Besides the tiny shorts, Regulus is wearing a dark green crop top, a colour that too closely resembles his bath towel and James feels his face heat at the memory. His perfectly toned stomach is on display, showcasing his lithe figure and James is so tempted to give in to his desires and mark that skin. He wants to see the indents from his teeth littered all over that body.

But James is a gentleman and a good friend. He will not maul Regulus. He will not even entertain the idea.

His luck runs out when he takes a rather large gulp of water and Regulus’ eyes snap to him immediately. He doesn’t do anything for a second, other than halt in his tracks with groggy eyes, but then he’s moving towards James with the determination of a snake waiting to strike. James knows that these animals have the patience to wait it out until the very best moment and he has no doubt that Regulus is willing to do just that.

Eyes shining with promise and pleasure, Regulus stops a few feet in front of James. “Fancy seeing you here.”

James raises an eyebrow, looking more confident than he feels. “We’re in your house. It’s not really much of a surprise, is it?”

Humming, Regulus makes his way to the fridge to pour himself a glass of milk. Setting the carton down on the counter, he reaches up to grab a glass from the cabinet. James watches the way his cropped top rises even more, the hint of a pink nipple teasing him and he places the glass of water down before he does something stupid like drop it.

He pours the milk into the glass, places the carton back in the fridge and then leans back against the counter, looking at James intensely. They’re further apart now, but the atmosphere in the kitchen is so delicate, so loaded that James feels like they’re trapped in a box together. He can smell Regulus from where he leans against the sink. He smells like seduction and ruin.

“I just assumed you’d be fast asleep with your boyfriend and his boyfriend.”

James rolls his eyes. “Sirius is not my boyfriend.”

Raising the glass of milk to his lips, Regulus shrugs. “Could have fooled me with all that kissing I heard earlier.”

“Are you jealous, Regulus?” James prods, knowing it’s likely to stir up something he can’t entertain but unable to stop himself. Maybe it’s because they’re here together in the dead of night under a full moon that James feels as though he might give into the insanity calling his name.

When he lowers the glass there’s a little drop of milk sitting in the corner of his lips and James thinks he’s going to go crazy if he doesn’t lick it right now. Regulus places the glass down on the counter and stalks over to James very slowly, slinky and sensual like a cat. “You know I am, James.”

James feels his breathing quicken as Regulus doesn’t stop until he’s face to face with him, nose to nose like Regulus doesn’t realise how badly he’s affecting him right now. Or maybe he does and he doesn’t care. Maybe this is what he wanted all along.

Regulus places his hands either side of James, effectively caging him in and ceasing any escape that James may attempt to make. He whispers into the quiet, tension filled space between them, James’ shaky breathing the only sound other than his voice. “Maybe now you won’t run away from me, baby.”

“Regulus,” James breathes, bumping his nose against Regulus’ as the younger boy toys with him, bringing his face closer to James’ as though he’s going to kiss him and then pulling away again. “We can’t do this.”

Smirking at the already worked up state, Regulus stares into James’ hooded brown eyes. “We can. Just let go, James. I know you want this. Why not just give in?”

Speaking hushedly, James’ eyes flutter against his will, breathless at the intensity of the silver eyes staring him down. “I can’t. Sirius would never forgive me.”

Regulus groans quietly, hands flexing where they’re gripping the counter. “Sirius has nothing to do with this.”

“You’re his brother, Regulus. And I’m his best friend. I’m not meant to feel what I do for his younger brother.”

“And what is it that you feel, James?” Regulus asks, one hand sneaking along the counter to rest at James’ hip. “Tell me, what do you feel for me? Is it platonic?” James whines softly and shakes his head. Regulus continues, “Tell me, James. Tell me what you want.”

“I want to ruin you,” James breathes passionately, his already weak resolve crumbling pathetically. “I feel like every time I’m near you I’m going to go insane because all I want to do is reach out and kiss you. I want to consume you whole. I want to do every wicked, filthy thing I’ve ever thought about and let you do even worse to me. When I saw you in the bathroom I wanted nothing more than to join you in that shower and fuck you against the wall. Regulus, I dream of you and nothing else.”

Regulus’ breath hitches and he fails to stifle the moan that threatens to leave his throat at the dirty words James says to him. He can’t help the way his hips stutter forward and press into James’, their bodies aligned against the counter top. “Fuck, James. I want that too. I want it all.”

“But that’s not all,” James gasps at the feeling of hardness that rocks into his own. “I want to stay up talking to you about everything and nothing. I want to sleep in your bed and pull you into my arms as we fall asleep. I want you to explain the essay you’re writing for your literature degree and all the books you love. I want to impress you with my knowledge of Pride and Prejudice so much that you kiss me. I want to go on walks with you, have picnics and lick every insult from your lips as you berate me for being sappy and idiotic. I want you to be mine not just for the night but forever.”

“James,” Regulus responds before he’s crashing his lips to James’, moaning in delight as the older boy responds instantly, his hands coming up to cup Regulus’ jaw. He mumbles into James’ mouth, “You fucking idiot, I’ve been in love with you since I was fifteen.”

✧˖*°࿐

(part two?)

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