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runa-falls · 10 months

Note

I saw that you think Miguel is a thigh man 😩 can I request him x reader who's thighs clap when they run or so some type of activities. I got that problem sadly 😵‍💫😮‍💨

yes, of course!! i love talking ab our thigh fucker ;^)

cw: body insecurities, thigh chafing (yeouch), fluffy reassurances, small bit of smut (OK IM SORRY 😳 i didn't see that coming [yes i did.]), just oral and uh, a bit of marking, not proof read!!

---

you've never enjoyed prolonged physical activity: running, swimming, biking, etc, because you hated the way your thighs would slide against each other; uncomfortably chafing your skin and making noticeable sounds.

so when miguel proposed a hike for your weekly date, you were hesitant to agree. unfortunately, he's very good at persuading you...

that's how you found yourself on a narrow trial shrouded with trees, taking slow, cautious steps as you attempt to keep your thighs from touching as much as usual.

of course, it only helped so much. your inner thighs were still chafing and getting sore, but you try to conceal your pain as much as possible, too embarrassed to mention anything to miguel.

though your boyfriend is the most loving and accepting man you've ever met, you still haven't told him of your insecurity. you're afraid that once you mention something to him, he'll notice your thighs even more.

miguel is pacing himself, making sure to slow down with you so he doesn't leave you behind (he does this hike all the time). he adjusts his baseball cap, making sure his wild curls are smooshed down as he watches you walk toward him.

you look beautiful today. you always look beautiful. but there's something about see you in this condition that make him twitch in his shorts.

he loves the way your chest heaves as you take deep breaths, your tits pressing desperately against the thin fabric. how droplets of sweat roll over the contours of your cleavage, outlining what he wants to see the most. and how your leggings look like they were painted on, completely revealing the overwhelming softness of your thighs and how they press so sweetly together.

he can barely take his eyes off of you.

but he can't help but notice how odd you're acting too.

he's perplexed as to why you're taking such big steps and moving like you'd rather be anywhere but there, with him. why your face is tense, yet completely blank at the same time.

there's clearly something wrong, but you've been silent this whole hike.

"baby, you doing alright?" you seem to be lost in your thoughts as you stare down at your dirt-scuffed sneakers, you don't even notice he's stopped in front of you. he calls out to you again, "babe?"

"hm?" you look up, pausing your unnatural movements to give your legs a rest, "oh, yeah...i'm fine" you attempt a smile, but even you can tell it looks fake and performative. his eyes bloom with concern as he notices how your legs are shaking under you.

"what's going on, sweetheart? are you hurt?"

"no...it's just," you look away, still apprehensive to mention anything.

he pushes, hand reaching for yours, "just what?"

"i-my thighs are chafing..." you say softly, looking back at him. he's frowning. "b-but i can keep going!" you start walking again, willing yourself to continue even though it hurts.

"baby, wait," he stops you, "don't hurt yourself. i didn't realize you were having trouble this whole time."

you shrug, "it's ok, i'm used to it."

"sweetheart, come here." he has his back turned towards you, coaxing you over to him. "get on."

"get on?"

"i'll carry you back to the car."

"no! you don't have to--"

"i want to." he interrupts, "then when we get home, we'll take a nice bath and get you all patched up."

"what about the rest of the trail?"

"we can just get our work out in at home..."

---

you sigh as warm water washes over the inflamed skin of your inner thighs. it stings sharply, but the pain feels oddly satisfying, especially as miguel thoroughly lathers shampoo in your hair.

"feel better?"

you hum, eyes closing as his fingers attentively massage your scalp.

"why didn't you tell me that you were hurting earlier?"

"i dunno, it just wasn't that big of a deal, mig."

"it was. you were barely able to sit without your hands between your thighs."

you snort, "i thought you liked it when i do that."

you yelp when you feel him tug sharply at your hair. "you know what i meant." he growled, clearly unhappy you're trying to avoid the subject.

"it's embarrassing."

"what's embarrassing?" his hands start to cup water onto your head, washing the suds from your hair until you're squeaky clean.

"my thighs." his movements stop suddenly.

"what about them?"

"they're...too big."

"too big?" he genuinely sounds baffled, almost scoffing in disbelief.

"yeah, they're always touching and they make this...clapping sound when i do certain physical movements..."

"so?"

"so?" you turn your head to look at him, questioning eyes meeting his scarlet stare. his red irises are mere slivers with how blown out his pupils are, heavy with lust.

"yeah, so what?"

"so...i don't like them." you voice is small as you look at him shyly, cheeks blooming with heat under the stringiness of your wet hair.

"well i love them."

---

miguel presses gentle and sweet kisses over your tender skin, relieving all the pain from your chafed inner thighs with just a touch of his lips. your legs are hooked over his shoulders as he makes his way up your body.

the prominent shape of his fangs press against his top lip as his sharp maroon stare fixes right at the apex of your thighs. you can tell he's holding himself back by the way his fingers grip bruises into the tops of your legs.

"baby, you have no idea," he takes a deep breath, eyes closed as his nose nuzzles at your inner thigh, "how fucking perfect you are."

"mig, please!"

he smiles cloyingly, letting you watch his fangs retract before he dips his head closer to your center. he wouldn't want to hurt you...

he locks eyes with you when he experimentally slips his tongue through your soaking lips, only giving you enough attention to keep you buzzing. he's delicately laving against you, feeling you tense and pant under him as he slowly builds up your pleasure.

a haze of lust instantly clouds over his darkened eyes and you watch as he gets lost in the taste of you. he pushes in deeper, tongue fucking you, slurping and sucking, while spilling muffled groans over your pulsing cunt as your thighs begin to tighten around him.

he flicks over your aching clit, drinking in your whimpers, moans, and cries as he teases you, pulling back every so often until you bury your hand into his curls and force him down onto you.

you're nearly suffocating him with your thighs when he start suckling you into his mouth, muscles trembling against him as you grow closer to the edge, and he loves it.

his silky lips and slick tongue push you straight off the edge. you hold on to him as your body writhes with white hot pleasure, hand in his hair and thighs around his head. you can barely hear the muffled groans he makes from how lost in ecstasy you are.

but he groans, and grunts, and then freezes.

"did i just..." he unwraps your legs from around him and sits up, tugging his briefs down in disbelief. your bleary eyes open, eyes glazed and unfocused from the intensity of your orgasm. "shit."

you look down and are graced with a beautiful mess that drips from his cock and the black fabric of his boxers.

you can't help the amused smile that spreads over your lips, "you need some help cleaning that up?"

#anon #miguel o'hara #miguel o’hara #miguel o'hara x reader #miguel o’hara x reader #miguel o'hara smut #fluff #miguel o’hara smut

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iburnedmyselfalive · 4 months

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SEX THERAPIST.

nsfw! -- lowkey got the idea from some wattpad book i read a couple years ago LMAOAOA someone lmk what its called if yk what im talking about.

this was so rushed, but I wanna make more parts to this soooooo, should I ?? + not proofread sorry for any mistakes

Over the past few weeks, challenges have emerged in your relationship with your boyfriend, including a sexual issue. A friend suggested seeking the help of a relationship therapist, specifically a sex therapist.

Following this advice, both of you attended therapy sessions, which have been generally positive. The sessions have been conducted by Mr. Skywalker, and you couldn't help but notice his flawlessly attractive presence.

Today, Mr. Skywalker invited you to a session alone, as your boyfriend was away on a work trip and couldn't attend. Despite the familiarity of being in therapy sessions with your boyfriend, you found yourself unexpectedly nervous about being in Mr. Skywalker's office alone.

This uneasiness contrasted with the usual sessions where he sometimes appeared agitated when you had discussed certain relationship issues.

You subtly pushed open the door to his office, finding him absorbed in his laptop. His intense gaze lifted as he noticed your entrance, and he grunted, "Good to see you," shutting his laptop without breaking eye contact.

Taking a seat across from him, you couldn't help but feel a mix of intimidation and attraction as his penetrating eyes swept over you, especially when they almost hungrily traced the lines of your pretty skirt.

"Hey," you greeted, adjusting yourself and placing your purse aside.

"How are you today?" he inquired, the discussion soon shifting towards your boyfriend, and he cut right to the chase.

"Any differences?" he demanded, a hint of authority in his tone. "Or just the same?"

With a sigh, you reluctantly nodded, "Just the same."

"hm, I see, today, we're going to try something" he declared, taking a pause before continuing, "different from our usual sessions,"

"Alright?" he asked, his gaze holding yours in a way that sent shivers down your spine.

And with that, you nodded.

"Now, hun, you know better than that, use your words," he advised, raising his eyebrows with a subtle challenge, making you gulp at the underlying intensity.

Despite the unease, you nodded again, confirming, "Yes, it's alright."

He nodded in approval, a sly smile playing on his lips. "There we go, that's better," he cooed.

You struggled to maintain composure as he rose slowly from his seat.

Fuck, he looked too good.

It felt almost wrong to acknowledge, but he exuded a captivating mix of intimidation and raw appeal. Giving you a piercing look, he wordlessly gestured for you to stand.

You complied, standing mere inches from him, reveling in the sizzling height difference that fueled your desires.

"Relax, you're nervous," he spoke in a low, commanding tone, his massive, yet surprisingly gentle hand tracing along your shoulder.

"Remember the breathing activities Nadia taught you?" he questioned, referencing a previous therapist.

You nodded.

"I want you to do those for me right now," he demanded, and you obeyed.

Inhaling deeply and exhaling slowly, you followed the practiced routine. Anakin's intense presence lingered, making your transformation into a calmer state palpable to both him and yourself.

"Good," he cooed, a low rumble in his voice.

"Very good," he continued, his unwavering gaze fixed on yours.

"You mentioned that when he touches you, he tends to rush things and doesn't take his time, right?" Anakin inquired.

You nearly choked on your words, but you managed to nod. "Yes, he rushes it," you concurred, and he nodded, trailing his fingers down your shoulders.

"You don't like that," he stated, and you just shrugged.

"If you want my help, you're going to have to talk to me," he asserted, his tone firm.

"So, I'm going to ask you again. You don't like it, correct?" he demanded, and without hesitation, you responded, "yes, It's not even enjoyable for me now," you explained, having this weird feeling inside of you.

Your eyes threatened to lose focus as his commanding lips left a trail of kisses along your neck.

"He doesn't get you squirming like this, does he?" he demanded, his breath sending shivers down your spine.

"He doesn't even bother to kiss me," you breathlessly responded, almost whimpering when Anakin abruptly halted his assault on your neck. Gripping your face with his two hands, he sneered, "Well, it's his loss."

Before you could fully process his words, he forcefully pulled you into a fervent kiss, his tongue asserting dominance while his hands explored your body. In response, your hands navigated the contours of his physique. Standing on your toes, you seized his shirt, pulling him in for more.

"I'm going to teach you," he growled between kisses, his voice dripping with intimidation and promise.

"I'm going to show you what it truly means to feel good."

He was making his intentions unmistakably clear.

You offered no resistance, the unfamiliar sensations captivating you entirely. A low whimper escaped your lips as you looked up at him with pleading eyes, your voice adopting a desperate tone.

"Do whatever you want to me, please," you begged.

In response, a grin spread across his face, his gaze growing more intense. He effortlessly lifted you, carrying you to his desk and placing you on the edge without a care for the paperwork that might have fallen.

Unconcerned about the potential mess, he kissed you again, deliberately slow and enticing, leaving you craving more as his lips reluctantly pulled away. Descending to your neck, he gradually knelt on the ground, spreading your legs apart.

Inhaling your scent, he groaned as his fingers teased the material of your skirt.

"Cute," he murmured before his tongue traced over your damp panties.

"He's never made you this wet, has he? This all f'me?" he cooed, and with a whimper, you nodded. Your hands tangled in his hair as his tongue continued to trace circles over your panties.

"Raise your hips for me, baby," he murmured, standing up slightly. Complying, you lifted your hips, allowing him to smoothly pull down both your skirt and panties, discarding them carelessly on the floor.

Returning to his previous position on his knees, he watched you with an intensity that left you feeling exposed.

Shyly attempting to close your legs, he intervened without hesitation, forcefully parting them. Biting his lip at the revealing sight before him, his hands gripped your thighs, pulling you closer to the edge.

He planted a couple of kisses on your inner thighs before his tongue skillfully lapped over your drenched core. His eyes remained locked onto yours, never wavering for a second, intensifying the heat of the moment.

Your body quivered at his sudden actions, and soon enough, he began sucking at your clit, causing your head to arch back in pleasure.

"fuck ani, 's good" you cried out, legs shaking from how good it was, how good he was.

He never let anyone refer to him with the nickname, 'ani', but an exception was made for you.

"Louder," he demanded, and you complied, moaning and whimpering in response to his skilled ministrations.

Your breath caught as you almost moaned at the sight of his chin glistening with your arousal. His nose grazing your clit with each rhythmic motion elicited loud moans from you. His unyielding grip on your thighs persisted, and he skillfully positioned you to allow the subtlest rocking of your hips back and forth.

"oh my gosh" you cried out, your hand clutching the lamp on his desk for dear life as your legs trembled uncontrollably.

"mmm," he cooed, continuing to suck on your clit. "Such a good pussy this is," he murmured appreciatively.

"Want all your damn juices in my mouth. Come on, baby, cum," he grunted, and with those words, and his absolute torture going on with your cunt, you made a mess all over his face.

He persisted in his relentless actions even after you reached your peak, a smirk playing on his lips as he finally stood up. Grabbing your trembling hand, he guided it over to the bulge in his pants.

"Feelin' me, baby?" he sneered, and with a pout, you nodded.

"Where do you want this, here, hm?" he taunted, using his other hand to press down on your lower stomach.

Again, you nodded.

"Yes, please," you begged, and he chuckled, a menacing tone underscoring the sound.

Sealing his lips to yours, he tasted you through the kiss, reveling in the control he held. His hands roughly palmed your breasts through your shirt before pulling away for the slightest second to take off your top, following your bra.

"Off," you whined, eyeing his pants as you undid the buttons on his shirt. Soon, both of you had discarded clothes, each piece carelessly thrown around his office.

"Such a pretty pussy, been denied for so long, huh?" he jeered, removing his boxers.

You found yourself almost intimidated by his size, and as he brought it to your slit, he chuckled while deliberately teasing it against your folds.

"Lay down," he demanded, and you whined.

"But your desk, what if it—" you started expressing concern, but he cut you off.

"Do you think I give a damn about my desk, love? I don't give a single shit if it breaks. I'm going to fuck you," he spat out.

"I'm going to fuck you just the way you deserve it."

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celestialtarot11 · 2 months

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How to Turn Your Situation Into Something Positive 🍵💗

Hi friends! Welcome to another PAC reading where we’ll be looking at how to transform any current situations you’re in! Keep in mind there are many different groups here and there will be messages which you won’t resonate with, just leave it for someone else 😊❤️ Please like, comment and reblog to share the love ☮️

Pile 1 🌟- Hi there pile 1’s! Someone definitely did ya’ll dirty in a situation and it left you feeling sad and lonely. A loss was created because someone handled a situation unfairly, and you’ve been feeling very down. This situation felt like it was weighing on your chest, and possibly there was a misunderstanding of feelings, or someone took something the wrong way and blew up here. And I feel like you took the brunt of the situation for a long time. I feel like this is something that was happening for a long time, and you’ve been wanting justice to come to this situation, or karma to hit that person to show them where they went wrong. Its also very possible for some of you this person reached out and reignited those triggers and you’re finding it difficult to be compassionate towards them. Your anger is understandable and so are your triggers, I feel like spirit is saying it’s important to know your boundaries in this situation and have your back. Look after you first. There are/were people who benefitted from you having no boundaries because they liked the feeling of power, and that needs to change. There’s this feeling of stepping up or no longer accepting their bullshit, which I’m so proud of you pile 1! Know your worth and value. Thats how you turn this situation into a positive one. Knowing your true worth and value will help you walk away from anything that is less than what you want. This person could be bread-crumbing you and as of now you’re done with that energy! Im also hearing whilst its very understandable you’d wish someone their own karma, spend your time wishing yourself the blessings you’ve always wanted instead. Feed yourself empowerment and start thinking “how can I support myself now?” be there for yourself pile 1, and also once you heal you begin to see a lot of things that you didn’t before. Within yourself and everyone else. Happy healing pile 1 💗🌟 Wishing you the best! Please like comment and reblog to support this blog ✨

Pile 2 ☮️- Hi there pile 2! ❤️🌟 Welcome to your reading. For you I see you need to distance yourself from a community or situation here and really really focus on your self confidence. Your esteem, body, and health. There’s something about getting your life in order and no longer letting external factors or people tell you what to do. Become your own boss in this situation. Some of you need to take an active role in this situation as well and know you’re the shit! 💗 like speaking up, setting boundaries, deciding what YOU’ll do, not focusing on them. You’re everything anyone could ever want, and some of you may have forgotten that. Your true power is meant to come out in this situation. What would help as well is remaining unbothered by this person or situation. I’m hearing it’s a silly situation, for some of you. Like petty high school drama. There could be someone trying to compete with you and show they are the best, but truthfully insecurities are loud, confidence is quiet. I’m hearing from spirit let them make a fool out of themselves because they are responsible for themselves only! What they say and what they do is on them. Continue working on yourself because I feel like whoever this is, is trying to undermine your confidence or skill, and you won’t stand for it and shouldn’t! 😤 I also feel like spirit will be giving you messages in your dreams about this situation so definitely sleep with amethyst, clear quartz or lavender herb under your pillow. If not allergic, drink lavender and chamomile before you bed ✨either way I feel like your presence is truly amazing and its like royalty, and what you need to know is that don’t give those haters your attention. Focusing on yourself is literally the best outcome here. Thank you pile 2’s! Please like comment and reblog to spread the love 💗🌹

Pile 3 ⌛️- Hi there pile 3’s! First of all I just want to ask if ya’ll are okay? 🥹❤️ Ya’ll seem to be going through it. Either a relationship with someone got unhealthy and controlling, or there has been a loss and you’re struggling to cope with it. Spirit is offering a lot of support and healing right now, and although you may not see it or feel it, spirit is protecting you heavily now. There’s a veil around you. I also feel that this ending was necessary because it was getting toxic, controlling and brought out the worse. I think someone here had to make a decision to choose themselves over toxicity. And it’s okay to hurt by that too. Honor and acknowledge your loss without shaming yourself for making the healthy choice 💗 I received the Queen Of Cups so I feel like there’s something about focusing on your growth and healing now. “Let growth be your mission. Let healing be your reward. Let freedom be your goal.” I love this quote and I go by it. Spirit wanted me to share it with ya’ll. I feel like ya’ll have been working on your healing for a long time and revisited something of the past, and its been tough processing it. In a way, its allowing this new version of you to come through and grow every time 💗🥹 This new version of you has a lot of emotional abundance and knowledge, and is definitely patient and caring. I feel like your higher self is coming through to also say it’s important to feed yourself kind words. If harsh words worked it would’ve worked a long time ago is what I heard too. Call yourself the names you wish to be called, like nicknames, talk gently, and use respectful words to yourself the way you would with anyone else ✨💗 I feel like you guys used to give everyone your secret wisdom, or the things you’ve healed from like all of that information, and now you are being asked to remain private and selective about it. This will help you a lot in this situation to focus on yourself. Thank you for being here pile 3 and I sincerely hope this helped you ❤️🌟 Please like comment and reblog to help this blog grow 🌟😊

Thank ya’ll for stopping by! Its highly appreciated and I really hope this PAC got ya’ll the clarity you needed ❤️🥹 Thank ya’ll for being here always.

Paid Readings 💗✨

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cinnamonest · 25 days

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Hiii I absolutely adore your work!! You're legit my favorite fic writer, every word you put down is gospel amen 🙏 If youre still doing requests, maybe what about albedo x tall reader? I love how you write him so much, im 6ft tall myself and am fiending for yan stuff for tall girls since tall women are always written to be strong and dominant which kills me inside since im the total opposite...

Luckily he's not really insecure about it or anything, not like one of those people who gets all neurotic and has a complex. It's just. You know. He wouldn't mind getting a bit taller, is all. But if he ever starts getting too hung up over it, the feeling then loops back to feeling embarrassed over being insecure over something like that, so he tries to just ignore any feelings on it entirely.

He does handle your greater stature than himself better than some other, more insecure short boys, though. So long as you don’t bring the matter up, he won’t either. He genuinely doesn’t care about having others poke fun at him, which some of the knights he works with certainly do, given that it’s not everyday you see a guy with a girlfriend so much taller than himself, but he has very little regard for the opinions of those he doesn’t care much about and is thus largely unaffected.

He does, however, care what you think. He’s the sort of person who buries any insecurities he may have and ensures he never brings them up or makes them known, but he does worry just a bit that you wish he was taller, that it compromises the respect you have for him, or worse, that you’ll get wandering eyes… he feels sick to his stomach if he sees you talking to some tall guy, even more so than the sickness he already feels seeing you talk to anyone.

And even if you tease him about the matter, he handles that very well, albeit with a twitching to his smile that you may notice if you look carefully. He wants to give off the impression that it doesn’t bother him, even if it kinda does, just a little.

This also ends up accelerating his obsessive tendencies, the insecurity gets to him and he acts more impulsively and more recklessly than he would normally, and you’ll find that the situation between you escalates much faster to the point of captivity.

Regardless, you have no need to worry. The man does not have a submissive bone in his body… unnaturally so, even.

Like you know how, as a general rule, most men tend to lean towards dominant tendencies and aren’t really submissive per se, but are still gonna salivate and get into it if you “take charge”?

He’s not even like that. The notion of you having any sort of control or autonomy in the matter sort of… bothers him. He’s too obsessively fixated on control, and uses sex as a catharsis by which having control and seeing that control actively exerted on you brings him satisfaction and comfort and assurance, so any bit of said control being taken away gets under his skin fast.

Enthusiasm would be a pleasant surprise, sure, he likes you participating, but any time you attempt to actively control the steps and movement, or gods forbid try to push him to do or move in the way you want, he gets a little… twitchy. He’s not one to vocalize his thoughts too much, but you notice pretty much immediately, you can tell it irks him that you’re moving too much on your own, based on the firm grabs to your sides and wrists and efforts to quietly contort your body the way he wants you to, and a heavy huff of frustration when you fail to comply or try to go back to the position you were in before. It feels wrong, you should be bending and moving to the way his hands and words guide you, and failure to abide by it only strengthens the intensity of the impulse to force you under it by any means necessary.

Should you be a particularly bratty type, you can use this to your advantage by intentionally continuously breaking out of his hold or pushing back against the way he tries to push you into certain positions and outright disobeying… but that’s one of those “playing with fire” type of behaviors, and it stops being so amusing when he’s got you on your knees, held up by a fistful of hair, looming over you with an ominous, icy stare… and you may find yourself regretting your defiance, and up may be the only direction you get to look at him from now on.

#.al #q

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dayseedrawz2 · 2 months

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Someone gave me the prompt of Caine and Pomni Ice skating on the digital lake. I'm not exactly sure how to go with this one, but it's worth a shot!

Skating - Showtime (C×P) One-shot!

Requested by: @marvosa-yroz

[ASKS/REQUESTS: OPEN]

☆Caine☆

♧Pomni♧

Tha day started off normal. Caine rallied up all the players for the adventure

☆Good morning, superstars! Who's ready for today's show?!☆

His enthusiastic tone was followed by awkward silence

☆Wonderful!! Let's take a look at the agenda for today!!☆

Snap! Caine teleported everyone out to the lake

☆Since this so-called "winter" is coming to a close, I thought I'd make today's adventure just for the occasion!☆

With another snap, the lake was frozen over and surrounded by railings and a gate in front, and the cast was all given ice skates

☆Today's adventure is ice skating!! The rules are simple! Get into pairs, and have a blast! But watch out for thin spots! Bubble and I will be here to supervise! Have fun!☆

Then off Caine went. Outside of bounds, leaving the others to their own devices.

Most of the cast found partners to skate woth. Gangle with Zooble, Ragatha was with Jax (unfortunately), and Kinger brought a picture of... someone from his room leaving Pomni by herself.

She didn't mind. At least - not that much... I mean, what else was she gonna do? Partner up with kinger? He seemed content with his current "partner." She didn't really have a choice other than to lean on the rail and watch the others. Better than making a fool of herself! Still... she couldn't help but feel lonely...

Caine was on the other side of the lake watching the others from outside the arena. But he couldn't help but glance over at Pomni. One of his members was partner-less?? Now, we can't have that!! So he hesitantly took initiative

☆Hiya Pomni!!☆

The Jester was caught off guard

♧GAH!!! oh... It's you...♧

☆...Pomni, why aren't you with the others?☆

♧Well, for starters, I don't have anyone to skate with... not that I wanted to anyway.♧

☆Oh, come on now, who doesn't like to skate? I hear it's a very popular activity for humans around this season! Besides, I've been working very endlessly on getting the physics to be just right!☆

♧How would you know? It's not like I'd remember how to skate, let alone I'd I ever did. Whatever... it's fine. I'll just stay here.♧

The Ringmaster could tell something was definitely wrong. Not like he'd know exactly what or how to fix it. But may as well do what he could!

☆...Well, I suppose this is a first for the both of us!☆

With a snap of his fingers, he acquired a pair of skates of his own

♧Wh-what are you do-WOAH-♧

Caine took her by the hand and dragged her towards the center of the lake.

☆I don't usually do this, but I couldn't stand to see you miss out on this adventure! Consider this a small prize for your participation! Or... lack thereof...☆

Pomni continued the conversation while still trying to maintain her balance

♧ I can certainly tell... W-well, thanks, I guess...♧

They continued to skate together for the rest of the adventure. Not very well, but hey, they only fell like once... maybe twice.

Maybe this place wasn't so lonely after all...

OH MY WORD FINALY IM DONE IM SORRY THIS TOOK FOREVER I WAS HAVING TROUBLE BRAINSTORMING-

Thanks again for the request!!

#tadc #the amazing digital circus #tadc caine #tadc pomni #caine #showtime #tadc showtime #caine x pomni

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fairycosmos · 4 months

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hey sorry if this is invasive but how do you know you have depression? things have been harder to cope with for the past month but i am incredibly ashamed of asking for help or even saying out loud because i feel dramatic, attention seeking etc. even realising how much it is affecting my life. do i really need to get it out to get better?

ive had it since i was a kid and my doctor has been aware of it since i was like 11 so it was just smth i grew up with - when im in a particularly bad episode i can tell because im extremely lethargic, unmotivated, don't look after myself, am prone to severe hopelessness and a sense of impending doom following me everywhere + self destruction, i drink more, i get paranoid, i dissociate and feel disconnected from the world around me and from my own body, im numb/sad most of the time, i have panic attacks and cant get out of bed even for things i would usually want to do, im very disorganised and have a flat affect/tone of voice, i don't interact with people much....honestly the list goes on LOL.

it's important to understand that depression manifests uniquely for everybody and if youve noticed a difference in your own behaviour/thinking patterns that is actively and consistently impacting your life negatively - then that is enough of an indicator that something is going on. it doesn't need to be any worse. if it's already difficult, then it's already difficult, and you deserve support with it. to some extent it's some normal to feel ashamed/afraid of reaching out - we're raised in a world that stigmatises mental illness and we've received that messaging for a long time. which makes it feel like the truth, but doesn't mean that it is actually true. i think the bottom line is that you need to treat yourself the way you'd treat a friend going through something like this. you wouldn't want them to cut themselves off from asking for help because they've bullied themselves into silence over what people might or might not think of them. if we want to live in a world that truly supports people with mental health issues in an effective way, then we need to hold ourselves to that same standard. i know it's incredibly overwhelming, and im not saying it's wrong to be anxious or scared about reaching out. i just think actively trying to frame it from a more objective mindset could help you accept what is happening and what the right next step is for you. if you have the opportunity to talk to someone - a hotline, your doctor, a local support group or therapist, even a friend/family member to begin with - i really encourage it. even write down what you want to say or bullet point what's been going on so you don't feel like you're being put on the spot. im sure you're imagining all sorts of reactions, but in my experience, professionals are very accepting of what you're going through and just want to work with you to see how you can process and cope with your current mindset more healthily. whether it's medication, talking therapies, showing you new coping skills - there's a lot that can be done for someone in your shoes. you're not stuck and they're not going to judge you. even if, in some alternate reality, you just wanted some attention - that's not a crime. i think it's natural to want someone to witness and acknowledge us when we're hurting anyway. sorry to ramble - there are a lot of depression self help and coping pdfs that are free and available to download online which offer a bit of support. maybe that could be a good stepping stone if you're feeling super uncomfortable with the idea of talking to someone. we all work on our own timeline and thats honestly ok. but if you're looking for truly personalised and effective help then i think working towards talking to someone is your best option. it's okay to not be happy about that and still do it, like swallowing a medicine that tastes gross. otherwise the thoughts just rot inside you and you get lost in a spiral of depressive thinking patterns and it weighs you down having to manage it all alone inside your head. you become at risk of losing all objectivity and sense of self, which happens to me often and is fucking horrible. if it's possible, i really hope you eventually bring this up to a loved one or a professional. im really sorry you're going through this and i truly hope better days are ahead. sending a lot of love. X

#anon

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commander-gloryforge · 17 days

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hm (kinda a rant/vent/i just wanna get things off my chest and actually TALK about whats been bothering me)

so. theres this person that has kind of been the cause of my recent mental lows/imposter syndrome getting worse/fear of connecting to people and general distance from literally every community i enter. i think ive ranted about them before. theyre a writer and in a community i used to be active in, and in the beginning i got along pretty well with them because we both enjoyed similar themes and metaphors in our writing but they ended up kind of dropping me, coincidentally at the same time they gave my actual writing/current wip a shot, and ever since then theyve been sub posting about me in really weird and elitist ways and it kind of had ruined my spirit, especially considering that i did really look up to them as a writer since theyre very into actual technicalities, writing theory, they speak about writing very academically. their odd vague posting ended up seriously knocking down my confidence and ive been spiraling into this strange mindset ever since that i’m incredibly stupid/can never improve/am not a real or proper writer by virtue of the things i write. they talk highly about writing techniques and concepts every writer needs to know, very subtly punch down at those who dont seem to know, yet dont care to make that knowledge easy to understand or accessible to obtain.

on top of that theyve been getting quite close with another new friend i made recently thats very dear to me and seeing them talk about things i cant seem to keep up with because i am too ‘stupid’ has just made me very anxious and brought up old feelings and fears that ive worked very hard on to let go off. this person is keeping me from interacting with a community i love because i cant seem to get ovr the fact that some people just dont like me, because im getting paranoid, because i think their every word is directed towards me, because theyre popular and well liked and everyone always agrees with them, even when what they say goes against what what i do and like.

it really sucks, its been bothering me so much, especially the fact that i cant just let it go. that i cant just ignore them and move on and do what i like without feeling like its wrong or cringe or weird. everytime i think im ready to go back i suddenly see them talking again with my friends that have offered me so much support whenever ive opened up about my struggles and now they suddenly agree and praise that person for having opinions that directly oppose me and the things they were so keen on supporting me on.

but recently i remembered something they said. they said that they dont want to be self indulgent in their writing, that ‘there’s nothing necessarily wrong with self indulgence but it reflects in the writings quality’, that you can ‘tell’ and they dont like that. when they first posted that i just read it and went. oh :( my writing is self indulgent :( does this reflect in my quality as well? is that why they dropped my writing and me, because i like being loud about self indulgence and cringe? and now i remembered that post, and suddenly it kind of clicked

this person very obviously does not write for the same reason as i do. they very obviously do not feel about writing thhe way i feel about it. they talk about it as though it is a science. like its something that needs to be perfected. now, it’s clear that they do love writing, that they have a passion for it, and their technical knowledge very much reflects on their art- and that impresses people. im not like that. i want to learn writing techniques and i want to improve my craft and i want to be taught, properly so, i obviously want to be a good writer, and im going to be a little self obsessed and say that i am a good writer, or at least not a bad one. but there is a difference in how each of us sees writing.

i want to be self indulgent. i want to write what i love. i fucking love writing and story telling and yes, the fact hat my writing is self indulgent does impact the quality of my work, because it makes it better. i am passionate about my worlds and stories and characters because its exactly what i want it to be and thats why is fucking good. because it makes me want to put effort in and learn how to get better. i dont write for a grade, i dont write to make something perfect and deep and meaningful and serious, i dont write to impress someone, i dont write to squeeze as many smart things and references to classic literature in as i can, i write because i want to fucking write what i like.

so im stupid. so im cringe and bad and insecure and a loser and i dont fit into the good writers club but at least what i write makes me happy. whatever. let some fucking whimsy into your life and stop treating me like im an idiot for having different motivations than you.

#also both of us literally write on wattpad so fucking humble yourself for half a second #dios wisdom #JESUS. i needed to. let things out.#also any tips on How To Ignore A Large Figure In Your Fandom/Community are welcome #how to get over someone that makes you feel sad even though you know you dont have to feel sad #how to stop being paranoid #etc

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nanjokei · 7 months

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ok heres what ive been thinking of recently

honestly its just raw emotion, i dont really mean to upset anyone or say that they're consuming anything wrong. i'll try to word things as carefully as possible (or ill mince meat as much as possible idk) because i really do not like when people assume ill intent in my words just because i use blunt language at times. (sorry its just how i talk. im not mad at you. im not yelling at you online)

but honestly i have had a long thought about it.

i'm incredibly tired of the lack of curiousity a lot of new vocaloid fans have towards the culture.

statements like "boomers expect me to know songs from 2007" or whatever. i mean, no, no one is Expecting anything from you, that is absolutely a strawman you have invented based on someone merely being surprised (often in jest even), but it's also like. you, who actively identify yourself as a big fan, have never even thought to look back? there are so many playlists and medleys you can consult. it is a few searches away, i don't care. you are not five years old. and if you feel lost you can always ask people there are always so many people just waiting to introduce someone to even one or two old songs they like.

like is it bad that i think you should be a little more passionate if you consider yourself a geek?

what is wrong with me being surprised if you don't know sakura no ame or saihate or whatever. what is wrong with me thinking that it's weird that even with the biggest producers in the world, you have 0 curiousity to look into their old works?

it's not me being old and cranky, i just think it's a little bad and disrespectful that a lot of new fans just see older songs as inherently worse or not worth their time and use them as a strawman to invent some kind of boomer boogeyman who is going after them for not knowing shiningray or celluloid or ikelenka or whatever. even though honestly you should know them. even if you only listen to it once and decide you don't like it, or hell even just know they exist without listening.

like, songs with millions of views on nnd, i want you to at least familiarize yourself, especially if the producers are still active! at the very least!

whats wrong with me wanting people to enjoy amazing music that built up an entire subculture? made by passionate people who didn't even know the scene could last as long as it did? what's wrong with wanting to share my love with another generation?

i'm not denying that there may be outliers who are rude to other fans, but come the fuck on, stop acting coy about it. you should at least be able to recognize one of either the title, sound or thumbnail of the top 100 songs from 2009. not even KNOW them, just recognize, like is that too much to ask?

like, it's something i personally struggle to understand in general when it comes to interests i'm passionate about. i'm not a pushy person by the way, i don't go around heckling people not even as a joke, so i am not even letting anyone put me in the box of "probably acted pushy and didn't realize and is now mad at the other party". like, this is not directed at casual fans. i am just thinking stuff like "why are you hostile towards the idea of learning more about your interest?" and "why are you hostile towards passionate people who want more people to get into what they like?" and "why pigeonhole yourself? learning more means more fun for you."

because what bothers me the most is that eventually it turns into accusations of "gatekeeping" and "elitism" if anyone voiced their opinion about things. i know how im wording it makes it sound like it personally happened to me but it hasn't it is just what i have observed over the years as someone who gets super into stuff and tries to immerse myself and sees other people get into fights whether its the """elitist""" or the """casual""".

why is it like this? i cannot see why wanting to share is elitism or gatekeeping. maybe elitism sure if the other party feels like they're being targeted for no reason (and im not saying it does not happen). but gatekeeping? why is it gatekeeping? wanting to share what you like with others is gatekeeping? isn't that if you told people NOT to get into it and hid it away?

like, im saying it properly so no one misconstrues what i am saying, but i understand not everyone wants or has the energy to become a big fan of something. there are so many things where i am a very casual fan!! but even then i respect the thing i am into by also acknowledging its history at the very least even if i might not ever play/watch/read/etc all of it or at all.

so like... is it bad? is it bad that i think others should have this respect too? i know this is an issue of low empathy or whatever. i have to run around in circles to understand others. i "get" it, but im also like, why cant they be like me? so i want you to know in no uncertain terms that I GET IT. I GET PEOPLE'S POSITIONS HERE. i have been thinking about this general topic my entire life

so in the end it just turned into a general sort of thing. but yeah, i don't understand why people get so defensive and act so persecuted. am i wrong in my point of view? am i just being an elitist after all? like i simply see it as "i want people to enjoy it too."

like, i thought about this stuff after seeing how passionate ado is about vocaloid. like, she is only 21 years old. she is as old as or slightly older than many new fans (though she had liked vocaloid since elementary school). she is the biggest pop star in japan right now and yet her passion has not waned. not to mention so many younger fans that do have that curiousity too. i used to think its not possible, but i see them in the YT comments, going "im 16 but i really like this era of music" and such.

like, please just open your heart. ignore the boogeymen you're hallucinating and just enjoy slowly... it doesn't have to be a study session. naturally you will just discover more songs you like from those eras

#rambles

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gentil-minou · 2 years

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Dang, I didn't realize you stopped writing ML analysis because some dweebs were raining on your parade and making fun of it. You wrote some of the best stuff looking at ML and I'm sorry jerks ruined that for you. Both you and this fandom have been robbed of something great because some people just can't let other enjoy things.

i mean there are a lot of reasons, both personal and fandom related. My work is very demanding, I had some traumatic shit that happened a few months ago I'm still processing, and my interests in fandoms go up and down over time, like right now it's pretty clear to see i'm more active in other fandoms besides ML.

But honestly the awful way the fans have been acting towards this season, not just in the way they rain on everyone's parade but also the way the bible and leaks have spread so far and wide. While that isn't the fandom's fault persay it's still awful. the fun of theorizing is gone when a bunch of people know what's going to happen, so naturally i just kinda stopped (then all the broadcasting bs that always bothers me ugh)

But I think the one thing this fandom hasn't seemed to realize is that it takes a lot of effort to write about this show, especially if you're an adult or a student who has other things going on. It's easy to leave a comment that hates on the analyses they write, and it's also easy for it to feel like a personal attack.

Think of it this way, so many people relate to Adrien and Mari, in so many ways. They can see themselves in them, even their faults and mistakes mean something. It feels incredibly validating for someone to be able to see that.

Take my Adrien has depression posts for example. Because I've had depression since I was younger than him and did a lot of the same masking behaviors he does, it meant so much to me. Here was a character who seemed to be going through what I was at the time and still struggle with today. It was so wonderful to see on screen because it felt like I was finally being seen. Or another example would be Mari's anxiety and ADHD which I also relate to so much, especially when it causes her to make some mistakes or handle things in the wrong way. It's classing anxiety-avoidance cycles, and seeing it on screen made me feel like I wasn't so alone. And I am sure so many other people felt the same way

And then there are people who go and say awful things about these characters on a post where you express those feelings. How Adrien is being a whiney baby or whatever bs they say, how his actions are a sign of him being selfish instead of all of the trauma and neglect he's experienced. Or how Mari's complex thinking patterns and behavior are relegated down to her being a stalker or a mary sue or what have you, once again completely ignoring the core complexity of her character as just a normal girl who was forced essentially to be a superhero. The pressures of which would be tremendous on anyone let alone someone with clear ND traits and traumatic experiences.

And people insult those fictional characters, so quickly and easily, without realizing the very real damage they are doing to the very real people who see themselves in them. I've talked so much about why I love sentiadrien because i can see some of my struggles in that storyline, and then to have people say that no it doesn't matter because my experiences aren't as important? that it's invalid because there's only one right way to experience trauma? that im wrong for finding solace in it? it's awful, and it puts me down.

i shouldnt be feeling invalidated when im watching my comfort show, i shouldn't spend days writing very careful posts only to get them shat on by insensitive comments. as much as i want to ignore them and focus on the good i do and the fun i get from it, it still feels like a stab through the chest every time.

and then there are the people who say i'm an awful therapist because they don't agree with my analyses. that's the worst, and while i won't go into details about why this particular statement brings me so much pain, i just need folks to understand that it's genuinely one of the worst insults i've ever had. and if everytime i write something i have second guess myself, and then second guess if i even have the skill and talent for the field i'm in, it just becomes a horrible spiral. people make these comments like they're the easiest thing in the world to say and it just boggles my mind, because although they may have forgotten their stupid little tag i certainly haven't. i hold them deep in that dark part of my brain where the whispers are loudest and hardest to control.

ultimately, the last few months i wanted to remind myself why i like this show and this website in the first place, and that i'm doing it for me. life is hard enough, if i can't have fun in the one place i can control then what's the point? so i will control my own experiences within this fandom, even if other's want to rain on it

#idk i still might write stuff as the episodes come out and i watch them #but im not going to make it into a second job like i was doing before basically #where i'd go home from work and immediately go back on a comp to do more work #or lose sleep because i was so anxious over things #im having fun right now and while i miss theorizing and analyzing and getting that validation my mental health has been a lot better for it #so yeah #sorry for going on a rant i've just been very blegh lately #the shadowban thing is also no fun but hopefull that gets fixed soon #anyways #ml fandom salt #bushy rambles #asked and answered #sayse

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kiwibirdlafayette · 11 months

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I’ve keep thinking about one of your tags, specifically the “self fulfilling prophecy a display of a true role of an ianitee” and I would love for you to go into that!

if I may, I’d like to give my understanding of that and you can tell me how far off base it is.

With Redbeard it’s him thinking something will always go wrong around him whether he causes it or not. He chalks it up to his “natural unluckiness” and puts little effort to fox said issues. If we go to Capsize’s death, she gets threatened and he stands and does little to stop it. He crashes the first airship and brushes it off, he actively heavily drinks during the mission, like he for some of it causes his own misfortune.

For Jordan, it’s being alone within his faith. (This one I’m a bit shakey on cause I don’t think I have a good footing when it comes to his character.) He wants community but he does not find it with the pirates. Specifically with Capsize. Back to Capsizes death, he also doesn’t jump in to stop Furia from killing Capsize. Both Andor and Capsize end up getting imprisoned in-front of the group, although the reason why is different (to my memory) he doesn’t jump in to save either. He does find community with Andor though! But he’s now separated from him, so once again he’s alone.

Idk what Spark or Capsizes problem is, wish I did though. They probably have tons.

OH ok im sorry Im so late in responding Im gonna be honest. I completely forgot initially what I was thinking about when I made that tag but its finally come back to me ok. ok.

Basically what I think I was referring to in the concept of a 'self fufilling propechy; filling the role of an ianitee" is the kind of idea that champions of Ianite, or gods in general are tied to their deity in not just a follower kind of way, but like in a metaphysical manner- like where the principle of whomever they end up following are somewhat built into their characterization, and in the way worked into the fibers of their soul. Its present with the other gods/followers but its really interesting with the ianitees I think.

It may not necessarily be intentional or conscious on the part of the follower but essentially their morals, actions and the foundations of relationships are centered around what aspects the god stands for, and sort of act like a compass for them. So like in Capsize's case, I had interpreted Cat's post as like even though Capsize was born the "luckier" of the twins- aside from her name being that of a literal disaster- a lot of her actions to me take on a very heavy kine selflessness, putting herself at risk for like Red, doing things that would put her in a place of misfortune almost as a protective maneuver for others which I could almost call to be her fatal flaw. She has to be balanced in nature somehow to counter feeling like she's stolen Red's luck (from Cat's post, that line is driving me nuts in the best way), and that's how she does it.

And like, what you were saying with Jordan, his seeking of balance comes in surface level playing mediator between Tom and Tucker but like in a subconscious way (at least how i interpret it haha) its more got to do with yeah, like community. Jordan, as a character to me is very tied to the idea of home/closeness/familiarity, which ties into the lighthouse metaphor I like to cite between him and Tom (essay for another day before I go on yet another tangent), and his evolving relationship with the others over the course of the series. He, by nature is really drawn to carving his own path (i mean the man fully invents his own ass god) and has like an ambition that tends to isolate him from others (I haven't forgotten jokes in other SMPs about his house always being so far away from everyone else) but what he really craves, in needing to adhere to some kind of balance is closeness, a safe familiar place to rest his head, a lack of separation that he always ends up wanting to fully lean towards, but because of this balance thing- he can't have all of one or the other.

Spark I think follows a similar pattern to Jordan, and as a result as do Andor and Martha (albeit in different ways I'll try to speak on but I don't spend much time with their characters aside from the fact that especially in Ruxomar where Ianitees are kind of othered (cough queer metaphor, this is not an original thought but it makes so much sense) that to counter this oppression of their beliefs they too seek out community which is why Andor and Jordan get on so well.

Because Spark grew up with something different and we don't get much canoncially of him, its a little harder to analyze him, but if I had to give it a guess, I think his is moreso like he falls between two worlds in being the s/o of a literal goddess, that he feels an obligation to act as a mediator (as Jordan is), but rather between his two brothers-in-law, but instead between that of the immortal and mortal worlds, where like Capsize carries with him a protective nature to make them feel more in alignment. Essentially, in someway or another, giving agency and power to the mortal world and making the immortal world feel less distant and understandable/attuned to those who they rule. But its less a burden he chooses to carry, like a i must take control to bring this balance, and more a internal kind of responsibility to maintain his connections between both worlds, to keep himself together.

And Red, gods Red m8, I haven't dug too deep into him but I really like your take on him! Someone who I think is a really good example of how his unluckiness, rather than being something that unconsciously he wants to correct to find an internalized balance, instead has found a certain apathy to the notion that he was supposed to be the unlucky side of the twins, that i could almost say mans like found a neutral ground that way; sitting on a middle ground of having neither fortunate nor an unfortunate influence on the way things happen because either way he feels he'll only worsen it which. idk about you but Ouch That Hurts. Like he wants to strive for finding balance in having some type of influence of fortune, but its so out of reach he chooses instead to take a role of inaction

GAHHH theres so much brainrot that can come from this. I will be thinking about this forever. i hope i didnt fully just do the horribly misinterprets the characters LMAO any way. thank you for this

It eez what it eez TLDR; Ianitees come into the realm with an almost pre-determined alignment long before they consciously are aware of the goddess, a kind of self-fulflling that drives a lot of their emotional-moral compass in seeking a balance within them that gives them a role and purpose in the fabric of their characterization and relationships with others

#i once again am writing at like midnight bc thats when my brain seems to be able to think the most analytically i hope this makes sense LMAO #team ianite #mianite #character analysis #lafakiwi writes #mianite headcanon #its a lot also im sorry #i like. went on a lot of tangents as per usual #captain capsize #jordan captainsparklez #spark conway #i am not the andor man unfortunately and id feel bad trying to elaborate on the really cool brainrot ive seen from like chase and fern :'D #i think its along a similar thought pattern but i could be very wrong and i apologize for that #martha. man i dont know enough about her at all #idk feel free to add on! this is really just a massive braindump #asks #licantropa

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michelleleewise · 2 years

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Frozen Hearts

Pairing: Loki x reader

Warnings: self esteem issues, swearing, mentions of smut (fairly graphic), cheating, bullying

Summary: things get a tad awkward with Loki but you actively avoid it as things go south with Matt

Part 5-

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You felt his lips on your neck as his hands roamed, cupping your beasts as he kissed you passionately. "I need you y/n." He whispered as his lips traveled down your neck to your chest. You arched your back as you felt your knees being spread apart. "So needy love. I'll give you what you want." You heard him whisper as he lowered his head between your thighs.

The feeling of his tongue was ecstasy. He was relentless, working your body like an instrument. You felt the coil begin to tighten in your stomach as your hand went to his hair, pulling him closer, your hips moving with the rhythm of his fingers. "Oh God.....im......" you sighed as he continued. "Come on y/n, let go." He whispered. You were almost there, looking down your eyes meeting two emeralds. "L...loki." You gasped as he smiled. "Come y/n." He said as the coil snapped.

You shot up in bed, panting and covered in sweat. You looked around seeing you were alone. "What was that about?" You asked yourself as rubbed your head trying to control your breathing. You sighed and got up to shower. You got dressed, your hair still wet as you made your way to the kitchen, coffee was definitely needed. When you got there you were met with a tall dark haired woman "who are you?" She asked as you grabbed your cup. "Y/n, I live here. And you are?" You asked looking at her. "I'm Loki's girlfriend." She said as she put her hand on her hip.

"OK, Well hi." You said sitting down with your coffee. You couldn't help the slight tinge of pain when she said that. Were you jealous? Why would you be? You cleared your throat as you sipped your coffee. "Your not trying to get with him are you?" She asked glaring at you. "Umm no, he's all yours." You said looking down. You felt her staring at you so you looked up "He wouldn't want you anyway." She scoffed looking at you. "Excuse me?" You asked glaring at her. "Well look at you, why woud he want you when he can have me. There's no comparison" she shrugged. You had to admit that hurt a little. "And what exactly makes you say that?" You asked standing up.

"Well honeslty, your rather plain. Your hair's a mess, your clothes are all baggy. Do you have a figure under there?" She asked looking at you. "And your not very pretty." She said. You just stared at her, not sure what to say. "Loki can have the best, why would he settle for you." She glared at you. You felt your eyes burn as Loki walked in and smiled at you. You looked to the woman who smiled and winked at you and darted for the door when you felt him grab your wrist "y/n, is something wrong?" He asked looking at you. You pulled your wrist away glaring at him " your girlfriend is waiting for you." You said as you stormed out.

You went to your room and called Matt, you needed to get out of the tower, even for a little bit. He didn't answer, remembering he had given you a key to his place awhile back you decided to surprise him, maybe you could go grab coffee. You grabbed your things and headed out. As you waited for the elevator you heard Loki calling for you. Choosing to ignore him you bolted down the stairs, you couldn't face him right now. You made it out to the street as you saw Thor walking over "Lady y/n, how are you." He asked waving at you. "Hey, good. How are you?" You asked smiling at him. "I'm good. I have a date tonight." He said smiling. "Oh, whose the lucky lady?" You asked nudging him. "Her name is Bambi, I met her at the coffee shop around the corner, she is lovely." He said with a huge smile. "Well good luck big guy, I'm headed to Matt's so I'll see you later yes?" You said walking away. "Goodbye y/n" he waved.

You got into a cab and headed towards Matt's. Your dream about Loki last night flashing in your mind "why am I dreaming about him?' You asked yourself as the cab pulled up. You paid the driver and made your way inside. You were quiet as you made it inside, hoping to surprise him. Seeing he was nowhere to be found you assumed he was still asleep. You quietly made your way to his room when you heard.......moans? "that can't be right." You said to yourself as you slowly opened the door, hearing a woman's voice saying his name as you walked in, you saw a blonde woman on top of him, bouncing up and down yelling his name. You felt the world stop in that moment as you watched her, his hands roaming her body. You stood there a minute, not sure what to do when someone said your name "y/n, what are you doing here?" You heard Matt say.

You saw them both looking at you, and reality hit. You took off towards the door, hearing Matt calling your name, you ignored him as you ran outside and kept running. You made it to a park and sat down. You couldn't go back to the tower after this morning, and you and Matt were definitely done, so you just sat there, staring at nothing trying to process the day. You heard your phone go off and saw you had a text from Matt.

"Y/n, I'm sorry you had to find out this way but we weren't working out and I didn't have the heart to tell you. I have needs too, and she makes me happy, sorry"- Matt

You read the message a few more times before putting your phone away. You put your head down fidgeting with your fingers, thinking about what that woman had said earlier, maybe she was right, Matt didn't even want you. You weren't sure how long you sat there before noticing the sun going down. You felt numb as you made your way back to the tower. Matt had just apologized, why would he keep you around if he had her? Why didn't he just break up with you?

You were zoned out walking the hall to your room, questions swirling in your mind when you ran into to someone and felt hands grabbing your shoulders. "Y/n." You heard, looking up seeing those green eyes looking at you, they seemed concerned. "Sorry." You whispered stepping past him heading to your room. "Are you ok?" He called out. You didn't turn around "fine." You said emotionless as you went into your room. Everything felt like a dream, like you would wake up and everything would be ok again, but you knew better. You changed into your pajamas and climbed in bed. The weight of it all hitting you, you let the tears fall..

💚💚💙💙💚💚💙💙💚💚💙💙💚💚💙💙💚💚💙

@vbecker10 @lokisprettygirl22 @sinsandguilt @usagishira @cabingrlandrandomcrap @daggers-and-mischief @stupidthoughtsinwriting @catalina712 @kat-nee @mcufan72 @lokiprompts @123forgottherest @asgardianprincess1050 @midnights-ramblings @el-zef @froggiecky @sweetberry47

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gwaaaaar · 2 years

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fma word vomit!1! Mostly a rant bc i have been rewatching it and thinking about things. Fma critical but i am ranting from a place of i genuinely want better for a media i like. I am a person of color and these are my thoughts personally, feel free to disagree.

Iirc, hiromu arakawa wanted fma to be a criticism on ainu colonization as she had ainu family and wanted to pay her respects to them. Which is Awesome in concept, i think its important to want to make something out of compassion and respect for others. I think she had good intentions when creating the base morals of her story.

(Edit, apparently shes yamato and not ainu, i only heard that she was distant ainu from an interview or something but yeah thats probably wrong so sorry abt that)

Heres where the problem kicks in.

Sometimes she does it poorly, really poorly. "Ignorance isnt a sin" but what happens when that ignorance hurts people?

Fma is in the end a story about redemption and humanity. It is a very idealistic /optimistic view of the world. And sometimes that wide-eyed optimism is blind to reality.

Enter the entirety of the amestrian government. One thing i HATE HATE HATE, is the fact that the white characters are given more sympathy than scar, a colored man who had his race brutally genocided by those characters. Roy and gang do feel bad for what theyd done, theyd felt bad about their war crimes their murders their sins everything. He himself says scar was justified in his violence. And edward, a 15 yo twerp was like "thAts nO exCuSe."

This is where the optimism comes in. "Murder is murder! All murder is bad!" Thats a genocide victim. Of course when scar goes after literal children and decides to solve all his problems with violence, thats when hes losing it. That should be disconnected from the whole government corruption bit.

And then winry. Winry comes in, cries her eyes out and shes the victim. Scar went through worse quite literally. And we dont see him get afforded that. And in a way, it feels like white woman tears. I can understand why winrys upset but jesus have some empathy would ya?

The main problem i think, is how little ishvalan characters there are, there isnt enough to have a full story. There isnt enough to see their pov. Its just roy and the gang and armstrong. And doesnt olivier get mad at alex at one point for not participating in the genocide? Stan alex for not wanting to kill people and backing out, wish other characters could say the same huh?

Maes. Maes. Grips him. Maes.

He doesnt give a shit about the ishvalans, what he was a loving dad but does he ever care abt his literal war crimes? Probably not. He only cares about roy.

In the end its an idealistic world where cops would actually work against the system. There always was something unsettling about the way the goverment worked and i think its because it follows the lines of "not all cops are bad!" Which, which isnt true.

Cops are bad because they promote and enable a system that was corrupt in the first place.

FMA technically goes against the grain with that, because the "cop" characters do go against the government. I think its important to have an ideal to work towards. I think its important to have positive examples, and fiction is a playground. Its a literal fantasy to get a corrupt government overthrown. But having that hope somewhere, may be good. Because at least we can hope for a better future. Roy and his gang work towards a future where they would get sentenced guilty which is a good thing i wont deny. I think its good that they fight for that.

Im not here to talk about that.

This combined with the fact that only white characters have a truly active presence in overthrowing the government (besides scar vs bradley that was awesome and very good), it just feels, unsettling.

Its like making a movie abt the civil war only to have white people star in it ignoring the black people that did work for their liberation.

(If thats an uncalled for comparison let me know ^^ i can edit it, its just the closest i can think of)

White characters and their emotions are always getting prioritized over colored ones and its alarming.

Then theres the whole if you work hard youll get something in exchange.

Hahahahha if only it really was like that for the majority of minorities hm? The world really would be a better place. 2003 fma you actually did something with that.

I dont think fma is entirely bad, it does good things sometimes! And i appreciate the message it tries to portray, i just think it has its priorities askew sometimes...

#Fma #Fmab critical

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juliapark13 · 1 year

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Something that I will never understand in this fandom is how you all fight tooth and nails to prove that the guys are almost perfect, have exactly 0,1 amount of negative personal traits and will never do anything wrong in their lives (and if they evee done then they learned the lesson, changed their mind 180 degrees). First and foremost, they are people. Ordinary people. Yes, hard working, yes, attractive and charismatic. But still people. Flesh and bones and physical needs. I've been an admirer of them since 2016 and during my obsessed era managed to watch EVERY their content since even before and from their debut. Every, every one of them has negative, unattractive, repulsive traits. I could list it all if needed. The idealization of them is insane. The idealization of them by the shippers is even more so.

Just like the fandom idealizes the guys to the max so do you, shippers, ultimately idealize your ship. Love to death, never seen before strongest love, absolute adoration between them, can never do anything wrong to each other, will never look towards another person, can never hurt each other in any way, intended or not, public image or personal, deep feelings. It's always a projection going on. The entertainment industry is basically built on projection. And the love that you claim jikook have is what YOU created, YOU believe they have. You created something that makes your heart flatter and days brighter and more tolerable and went along with it. Because in all honesty and objectivity you and i will never know what happens behind the scenes. Yes, they do have a great chemistry and a romantic fleur flying around them but, unfortunately, it really doesn't mean much. When 2 romantic, passionate, sensual, naturally flirty people meet each other and become closely acquainted, they just happen to radiate this energy. Speaking from many instances I've seen it in real life.

Could I be wrong? Totally. They could be banging each other and saying lovely words to each other. Could you be wrong? Of course. They could be passionately in love with some noncelebrity and we'd never know it. They could be going around courting someone else. Even if you believe they arE nOt LiKe ThIs, jK wOuLd nEvEr ReLeAsE gCfT jusT fOr tHeM tO bE fRiEnDs, hE'd nEvEr pLaY uS lIkE tHiS, you will never know them personally, you never know what goes in their head. Why you all feel so fucking entitled to their personal life, emotions and feelings? Why do you think you know what's in their head? Just recently A LOT of shippers and armys swore death that Jimin doesn't want solo activity, that he doubtly would do something solo but here we are, 7th of february.

tbh, for quite a long period jikook fandom was my safe zone, im a sucker for romance and a lovesick fool, sue me. Your idea of this couple and romance was just my brand and jikook being soft and caring did things to my poor heart. So i have spent some time going around, silently observing. And you know what? Jikookers are slowly becoming taekookers. Yay to the taekookification of jikookers! Maybe some of you all don't notice it but that's a fact. Theories and assumptions all day long, drama, tragedy and dumbassery. I literally saw postS about jk going here and there to spend time with th and others friends to hide his relationship with jm because they'll be gone to serve in the military soon. That's how bad it's become in some of yalls head.

but anyways, back to idealization. Yeah, you all idealize the shit outta this ship. You think jk and jm could never do anything wrong and bad to each other, do any harm, intentionally or unintentionally. Which erects a question. What is then about the rise of taekookers? I know you all gonna defend jk and th and tell that they are kind, they love jm wholeheartedly, tHeY wOuLd SpIt oN mE/bUrN tO kEeP jm WaRm, it's not their fault taekookers are deranged and unhinged, internet is not reality, jm is okay with it, in reality jm is very loved and nobody would ever try to hurt him, it's not jk and ths fault, they have every right to interact however they wan, what, should brothers/besties not interact anymore at all???? All of aforementioned, every single word would be right if you all said it in 2013, 2014, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019 and even 2020. Those years, you would be absolutely right if you replied to me that jk and th have every right to interact. But guess what, the world and the fandom changes. What simply was a ship war years ago is a serious deal now, with serious consequences that have a high probability to be destructive and damaging. People on the internet are real, they are not something that can be shrugged off. Accounts of twitter and yt are not just pictures with a bot behind them, their posts are not AI-generated bunch of random words, it's their mind, real thoughts. They log out of twittr and go shop for food with these thoughts going in their head, they go to work, interact with othrs, consult, service their clients and still have these thoughts in their head. Do you even know how many times my bts-fan friends had gone to fandom meetings and then told me there were hella lot of shippers and many of them claimed jimin to be a tkk homewrecker? Hint: every single time they went to a fandom meeting. Oftentimes there would be other slurs used against jm.

I know you all dont want to hear it and don't want to even consider it because of idealization but the guys do feed ships, do feed some fandom narratives, do some controversial things. And yes, recent taekook live is one of them, either people wanr to admit it or not. Even jikook had some moments to intentionally stirr up the crowd (the famous jimin sitting on jks laps on a concert moment). They are entertainers in the first place. It's their job to keep an audience engaged. But that's okay, that's not what bothers me. What bothers me is that you all fight tooth and nails to defend jikook. It's weird how you all claim jk to be a genius, an overly intelligent person (and i believe he probably is), smart and grown up man but turn a blind eye to the fact that his certain desicions do harm jimin's image and potentially his well-being. Jk has greatly graduated with a degree in media. I do believe he's a gentle soul and probably has a nice and kind personality, and is quite smart and creative. But he does involve himself in an activity that does nothing but feed the harmful type of delusion, the one that a potential to become dangerous for the person he claims to be someone he's close to. I myself am getting a degree in a field that involves media, mediaplay and pr and let me tell you, masses are quite easily moved, the mass narrative is changable and flexible. Celebrity like bts have a huge power over people and their minds. They literally can integrate any narrative they want and it wil be successfully integrated, soon or later. Jk literally has an almost flawless image and brand power. He is potentially able to say whatever he wants and people will be on his side. If he wanted, he could end shipping, soon or later, eventhougg there still will be a small percent or highly radicalized shippers. Again, any mass narrative is movable and changeable, ANY.

So here we have, a highly respected artist, with a great public image and brand power, who's claimed to be very smart, intelligent, who graduated with honors with a degree in media. This certain artist has a part in his fandom of people who spend their days and nights to make up theories. These part of the fandom keeps on trying to ruin the artist's bandmate's (close friend/brother/lover/whatever you consider them) image and brand (either you want it or not but public/brand image is important in the industry), and potentially has quite a high probability to be harmful to that bandmate's well-being. The artist doesn't adress the problem, the artist keeps getting himself involved in that deranged part of his fandom, thanks to the artists' decision makings the deranged part keeps thriving on, getting bolder and more vile.

Like, I'm not asking jk or th to say he has a girlfriend/boyfriend/partner, it's their personal life, for god's sake, nobody should ever have word in it. But god, it's not hard to openly and straightforwardly reply to one of the millions' of deranged comments and say that you are not romantically involved with any of your bandmates (which would start an anti-shipping movement in your fandom). There would be left a small percent of the most radical deranged breed, the proccess of purification would probably go slowly, but when an artist is stubborn and he really tries to change a narrative, he would eventually get what he wants.

It's not hard to say that you don't want to be shipped with someone, it's not hard to say that you are not in a relationship with your bandmates. I know, there will be people saying he doesn't have to do it, it's not their fault and he has nothing to do with shipping but man, taekookers have gone too far, have become too bold and harmful. You can't keep your silence forever when you are the center of this fucked up delusional harmful created love triangle and your words are valued by both sides. Can't keep silence at least from the ethical standpoint. Like, dude, your bandmate is literally being targetted here and there, how is it okay?

What a long essay. 😄

Do I think they are perfect? No.

Do I think they’ve never had any fight or difficult time? No. They definitely had.

I still think their relationship is extraordinary and their love is something else, because it’s obvious even from the small fraction of their lives we were able to see. I don’t wish for them to be more than friends. I see what they are trying to show us and I don’t ignore it.

BTS members don’t see everything we see. They know about the hate, but they don’t have to know about the amount and level of toxicity. We don’t know how much of this toxicity they’ve seen. They aren’t invested in it like we are. Like you said we don’t know what’s going on behind the closed door.

You should finally get the fact Jungkook isn’t responsible for that. Try to imagine yourself in his place. Would you calculate all your actions and words? He literally doesn’t have to come online and say ‘Me and V are only friends, get over it finally.’ If you hate him because you think he is obliged to do that, you are toxic. Who are you to judge him anyway? You aren’t one of the most famous people in the world. You have totally different life. You can’t even imagine how different everything is for them.

Just we would never agree on this. It’s not worthy for me to continue.

And don’t ever compare jkkrs to tkkrs. The difference is incomparable.

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tojikai · 10 months

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WHEW KAI! you outdid yourself, this chapter was heart breaking. essay incoming 😭

It’s interesting because a lot of the language Satoru is using is really selfish. It’s always what y/n didn’t do to keep their relationship good, naomi was there for him and helped him forget because she was an escape from all the responsibilities. it was only when he was put face to face with the reality of y/n moving on from him that he really started to reflect on how much he affected her.

i wanna say that satoru’s mom played a huge part in the rift between them. satoru doesn’t want to see his mom as she really is, so it’s easy to blame y/n. he mentioned previously about how his mom actively isolated y/n during family events and now saw her threatening to take his child away from her mother after physically assaulting her? i’m happy he stood up for y/n and set boundaries! it’s a START. at the end of the day, even if y/n and satoru aren’t endgame it’s so so important for the two of them to be able to coparent and provide the best for yui.

because satoru’s mom was behind introducing naomi to him, i imagine that she’s going to feed her poison about y/n and im worried that she’s going to convince naomi to try and baby trap him. 😭 hoping naomi doesn’t fall for it but… naomi knows something is wrong. i think his mom is projecting her hatred she probably had for her husbands first wife onto y/n and she feels some sort of kinship with naomi now. that’s my theory at least!

ANOTHER THING. satoru, come here… work on yourself honey. you can’t try and show y/n that you love her while leading on the woman you placed above her for months?? you need to be alone and work on yourself because this is so messy. fucking someone that’s in love with you knowing that you don’t feel the same is cruel.

i wonder what toji is thinking. he seems like a genuinely good person and i feel like he’d gladly step to the side of y/n told him she wanted to give satoru another chance. as of right now i think toji and y/n are perfect and i hope her feelings for him are true (him seeking affection from her for validation has be squealing omg) i’d be happy with either one being endgame (if she even ends up with someone but i’m still kinda team gojo IF he works on himself) 😭

kai you absolutely killed it with making these characters so fleshed out. i find myself feeling sorry for and angry with satoru and naomi at times and i’m so invested in this story! i love that you’re emphasizing that even if it’s the right person, it doesn’t automatically mean a relationship is going to be easy. love is a continuous choice to WANT to be together and work through your problems together. you’re displaying this perfectly and i can’t wait to see where you decide to take this.

THANK YOU FOR SHARING YOUR WORK! i’m so sorry for the long ask 😭 i hope you’re doing well and i hope people are being respectful towards you!

you're so right abt satoru's mom playing a huge role in the rift between them :(( yn and satoru were already struggling to adjust before and she wasn't really of help >: and yeah, Naomi's very much aware of the problem in their relationship. it's kinda hard on her side bc she doesn't know what's in Satoru's head. it's the feeling of overthinking and anxiety when there's something wrong in the relationship, i dread that feeling tbh😭 anywaysss i really enjoyed reading this, thank you so much for your support !! i love that little message abt love. it definitely isn't easy, not just rainbows and butterflies 💔 i really appreciate you, i hope you're doing great ~

#🍭—kaitalks #f: sundered

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