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#loki and you
daisybell17 · 3 months
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New Years with Loki hc’s:
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He would be so confused on why this was such a big deal to many midgardians…its a new year…so what?
Besides his confusion, he loved new years eve parties, and with you it just makes it 100x better
His first new years eve party was hosted by Tony Stark so of course it did not disappoint
He wore a nice black suit with hints of green silks inside his coat jacket. You on the other hand wore a tight fitting dress, also having hints of green through glitter spread around the dress
Loki could not keep his eye off you
The night was filled with great conversation, food, drinks and celebration of the year that passed by and the year to come
Loki kept hearing about “resolutions” and of course when it came to Midgardian things he did not understand, he would ask you
“Why is everyone asking me my “resolutions”? From Stark to the spider boy to even the arrow guy…what is a resolution darling?”
“Well a new years resolution is something people make as a sort of change in their life, sometimes they’re big, sometimes small. It’s just something people make as the new year comes, since its like a restart of everything”
“That sounds…odd, why do people wait till new years to make a change, just do it now”
“I cant really answer that honey, everyone is different, plus I have my own resolution”
His eyebrows raised at your response “You do? Enlighten me my dear”
“Yea one of my new years resolution is to spend more time reading, hopefully finishing books i have been putting of. I guess mine is small but it is some improvement…you should make something!” You encouraged him as to bring in the new years spirit
“Me? Improvement? Make a resolution? Darling I don’t need one. I’m perfect. duh” He snickered
You laughed at his response “You know there isn’t such thing as perfection, thats what makes life beautiful, its always changing and you find the beauty in it…plus, even perfection such as yourself can always self improve somewhere”
“That defeat the whole purpose of perfect, I don’t need some resolution…i am PERFECT darling!” He kisses your cheek as he finished his stance
“Okay! Whatever you say honey”
The night goes on as normal but of course your words linger Loki’s mind…and he took a minute to do some reflection…i mean he knew he was perfect, but even perfection has room for self-improvement…hmmm..
As the final 10 minutes of the year approached, your tipsy self found Loki and fell onto him
“Woah! Darling you ok?” He says as he holds you up
“YUP JUST TIPSY! …its a-almost n-new years…i need to be sober for our kisssssss”
“Kiss? I can kiss you right now you know”
“nOOOO new years eve kiss! I need water…NOW”
Loki rushes to get you water to get you back to being sober and by the time you gathered yourself and your thoughts, there was about 3 minutes to go
“OKAY IM GOOD! so basically a new years kiss is when we kiss once the clock hits 0! so basically…an i love you kiss, happy new year! Ya get it?”
Loki nods…he would kiss you any day at any time but he knew to wait, this was special to you as he could tell
As everyone gathered and the clock counted down, you and Loki stood together side by side
“10….9…8…7!”
Loki watches as everyone was here, celebrating the past and the future, all in the present moment…
“6…5…4...3!”
As the last 3 seconds ticked by, he took one good look at you. He knew how the past year had been for you…filled with so much good, too much bad in his opinion but amazing moment you both shared…and he couldn’t wait to see what the future brought for you in your own right, but for where you both will be and the memories to be created…he couldn’t wait
“2…1! Happy New Year!” Everyone cheered, screams of happiness filled the room and hugs and love was spread all around
You looked up at Loki and awaited for him to kiss you, which he did once you gave that glance that drove him insane
As the kiss went on, Loki felt nothing but happiness…how lucky is he to be with someone like you? What a lucky god he is….
Pulling away, you hugged Loki and watched as the fireworks went of and your friends greeting one another, you and Loki also greeting back
The excitement slowly died down and many went back to partying and drinking…Loki looked at you “Darling…I have a resolution”
You looked at him happily “You do?! You wanna share or keep it to yourself?”
“No no…you should know…My new years resolution is to make us happier…build us closer to our future…and of course…love you more and more each day…”
Looking at Loki, your eyes welled up in happy tears and you kissed him once more “Oh i’m so lucky to be with you…my love, I love you so much”
“I am just as lucky as you…I love you too…happy new year” He says with a smile as he held you close
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last-herondale · 1 year
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Help Me Understand
Loki x FemReader!
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Loki x FemReader!
Angst, hurt/comfort, some fluff Warnings: Mentions of abuse, self deprecation, feelings of unworthiness
This fic takes place during Dark World. (I didn't particularly like the movie, but we were blessed with scenes of Loki so...) Summary: The reader is a handmaid of the castle, assigned by Frigga to take care of a special prisoner. While you tend to Loki, you slowly begin to learn more about the "Would-be King of Earth".
A/n: Here is the Loki fic that i promised in my poll! I hope you like it! I had fun with this one.
Enjoy 🤘🏼
“Could you cease with your incessant humming?” Loki hissed from across the room.
He sat against the wall of his cell, not bothering to look up from his book as he spoke to you. You ignored him, continuing your tune as you attended to your duties. Maiden’s work was not a particular favorite job of yours, but Queen Frigga had requested for you personally to see to Loki’s new… living arrangements.
You had just finished putting fresh linens on his bed, placing clean clothes into his wardrobe, and began to tidy up his mess of books that were strewed about the place. You continued to hum as you worked, delicately placing the books into their proper shelves.
Finally, you heard the soft slamming of a book, and a loud sigh from behind you. “Must you always be so irritating?”
“Insulting me will not make me leave any faster, your grace,” you say simply as you finish tidying up. You turn around to him and are met with an icy stare. “In fact,” you mused, “I may decide that these floors need waxing, and gods know how long that might take me.”
A flicker of something crossed Loki’s face, but you were unable to detect what it was before he turned his face back towards his book. He didn’t open it again, but rather he let his fingers caress the pages gently. You found yourself watching him for longer than necessary, and heat flooded your cheeks as you turned away. You gathered up the old sheets and began to make your way to the exit when his voice cut through the silence. “Why do you still call me that?”
You halted mid-step, blinking in surprise at the question. “Call you what, your grace?”
“That,” Loki said bitterly, “Your Grace. You of all people should know by now. I am a prisoner. I have no place here.”
You froze in place. In the few days you had worked here, Loki had hardly spoken to you, let alone discuss his imprisonment. You slowly turned to face him, being careful to guard your emotions. Loki looked to you expectantly, an eerie calm washed over his face as he waited for you to respond.
"You are still a Prince," you replied carefully, "And I was taught to always formally address those of higher status."
Loki gave a bitter laugh. "Naive little thing, aren't you? Save your pleasantries for when you leave this cell, I have no need for them, and you'll not win any favor with the All Father by being cordial with me."
You narrowed your eyes at the god. You had heard rumors of his nature all your life. The Mischievous son, the silver tonged viper, the fallen god. Stories of his rampage on Earth had spread like wildfire. You had wondered how much of them were true, if he really was the villain everyone seemed to think he was.
You straightened your posture, tilting your head a bit higher. You refused to be intimidated by him, no matter what you might have heard. "It is not for your benefit, believe me. I am in the service of your mother, not Odin, and it is on her behest that I show you this simple act of courtesy, whether you are deserving of it or not. Now if you will excuse me, your grace," you spun on your heel and exited the room, leaving Loki glaring after you.
~
The next few days passed by without issue. You attended to your duties in a diligent manner, always bringing Loki his meals on time, cleaning his cell, and bringing him books that his mother had sent with you. Loki kept his distance, for the most part. He couldn't help but mutter the occasionally bitter phrase at you, but it wasn't anything you couldn't handle. Frigga was grateful to you for your service. The other maidens were too frightened of Loki to take the job, and you were Frigga's last hope. For what, you were not certain.
It was dinner time now. You carried a platter of food down into the cells, taking pleasure in the smell of freshly baked bread and stew meat. A guard let you into the cell without question. You thanked him as you entered and was unsurprised to see Loki lounging in a chair, book in hand. He had his hair tied back into a messy bun, a few of his dark strands lingered on his face, almost kissing his cheekbones.
You cleared your throat, watching as his eyes flickered up briefly from his book to look at you. "I have brought your dinner," you said. You placed the plate on a small table that sat on the opposite side of the room, being careful to move some scattered books and parchment. As you turned, books in hand, you nearly bumped into him as he stood beside you. "Watch it!" you snapped. Immediately you bit your lip.
A smirk spread across Loki's face, as if he could read you like one of his books. "My, my," he mused, "Not as cordial as we usually are, are we?" Warmth heated your face as you pushed past him, eager to be done with your job. “My apologies,” you muttered. Loki just snorted as you began to put away the books in their proper place.
"And what have you brought me today, my gracious lady?" Loki mocked as he lifted the lid from the container.
"Lamb stew, your grace," you replied with a sour tone. You finished putting the books away and turned to face him. You were caught off guard by the sight of him. He stood rigidly over the plate, giving a distant stare into the bowl. “Is something wrong?” You asked.
Loki remained silent as he slipped into the dining chair. He clasped his hands together in a tight ball, and leaned his head into them. Slowly, you made your way closer to the table. You peaked your head over the bowl to make sure nothing was amiss.
“My mother made this, didn’t she?” He asked weakly.
“I’m not sure your gr—“
“DON’T LIE TO ME!” Loki slammed his hands down onto the table, causing the bowl to go spilling all over the table. Loki rose from his seat so fast that the chair knocked backwards. “Does she take me for a fool? Does she honestly think that she can win my sympathy by bringing me books, cooking my favorite meals, sending some broad to tend to me each day?”
Your blood felt like ice in your veins. Loki looked at you as if you were some kind of monster. His eyes seemed wild, but there was a sadness in his expression that he couldn’t hide. He caught you staring, and he gave a low snarl as he charged toward you. You stood your ground, stiffening your back as he stuck a finger in your face.
“You tell my mother— the next time you grovel at her feet— that I don’t need her pity. She needs to accept how things are now— how things have always been..." he took a ragged breath. The heat of him radiated around you. He inched ever closer to you, his forehead nearly touching yours as he hissed. "I don’t need her— and I most certainly do not need you.”
“Is that all?” You asked calmly. Loki’s expression looked murderous, but you just turned around and began to clean the table. You gathered the tray, putting everything back as best as you could as you made your way to the exit. You hesitated before leaving, turning back to look at Loki. He had thrown himself into one of the armchairs, holding his head in his hand as his body heaved with deep breaths.
You sighed a soft breath and placed the tray down on the floor. You didn’t understand why you were doing what you were doing. All you knew is that you were walking across the room, sitting on the edge of his bed. He looked up at you with tear brimmed eyes. Your presence shocked him, that you were certain. He had to mold his expression into one more hostile to fit the façade, but instead he just looked… broken.
There was a pang in your chest when you looked at him. You took a deep breath and steadied yourself.
“Firstly,” you began in a gentle voice, “I will expect an apology for your earlier comment before I leave.” Loki opened his mouth to speak but you quickly interrupted. “Secondly, your mother is one of the few people in Asgard— possibly in the universe— that truly cares about you. You are her son, and she loves you unconditionally, despite whatever might have happened in your past. You would do well to remember that.”
He just stared at you with a wavering intensity. “You don’t know anything,” he muttered. “Perhaps not,” you shrugged, “but what I do know is that you do not frighten me. If your goal is to scare me away or anger me to the point of insanity-- I’m afraid you’ll fail. But there is little use in making my job more difficult than it needs to be, so out with it."
Loki furrowed his brow. "I don't-" "Look, neither one of us wants to be in this situation. Clearly, you are upset— either with your circumstances, the Queen, or me I don’t care, but for the sake of both of our sanity, I think its best we clear the air."
Loki scoffed. "This is ridiculous." "No, what is ridiculous is throwing a fit over perfectly fine stew," you muttered, letting a small smile escape your lips. Loki studied you, taking a large sigh as he rubbed his temples. "You are quite irritating," Loki muttered.
You took that as a victory and nodded. "It does not have to be today. We can begin tomorrow, when I bring you your breakfast." You stood up from his bed and made your way to the exit, picking up the tray once more. “Think on it, your Grace. I believe it could do us both some good… this cell can feel lonely for just about anyone, but it doesn’t have to be.”
You signaled for the guard to open the door. Just as you were about to step out, you heard his low voice echo behind you.
"I apologize," Loki began in a soft tone, "for my behavior this evening. My words were- unbecoming to say the least, my lady." He said the last words with a sour tone, but there was the faint whisper of a smile on his lips. You turned to him and gave a small bow with your head just before leaving the cell.
~
As promised, the next morning you came, breakfast in hand. This time you requested that two portions be prepared. You wanted Loki to feel as normal as possible, so you joined him for breakfast. At first he seemed amused when you took a seat at the table in front of him, a sly smile inching across his face as you served yourself from the platter. "Aren't you going to eat?" you mused, filling your plate with meats and eggs, "I will eat this entire thing if you don't." Eventually he shrugged and also began to dig in.
You were surprised by how easy it was to talk with him. It was as if you had always known each other. Once the conversation began, which took some encouragement from your end, it never seemed to stop. Loki had a deep love for books and theater, and you quite enjoyed listening to him recount his favorite plays from the royal theater. The two of you talked about your childhood, the fond memories of Asgard in your youths. Loki spoke of Thor often, even though he seemed to try to avoid him as much as possible. You could tell he loved his brother, despite their complicated history. Loki refused to talk about his father, the memories still perhaps too painful for him, and so you didn’t push.
You listened to every word, not out of duty or obligation, but out of curiosity. It was an odd wonder to pick the brain of the crowned prince. The mental images that you held of him from past rumors were starting to fade. A clearer picture was being painted and the menacing god before you was beginning to become a man. He would listen to you as well. Loki would ask you questions as you worked, and he seemed genuinely interested in what you had to say. It was nice to have someone to talk to.
Days passed like this. You now ate every meal with Loki. The two of you filled the empty silence with chatter and sometimes laughter. You viewed each time you made him laugh as a victory and he enjoyed teasing you to the point of making you red in the face. His demeanor towards you changed. Slowly, his snippy remarks began to dwindle and he seemed to smile more, although you couldn’t be sure if it was because of your company.
~
Not all days were good. Some days Loki would be in one of his horrid moods. You came to the cell one day to find most of his furniture overturned. His cell was a wreck and Loki seemed to mirror his room. His hair was a tangled mess, and dark circles hung under his eyes. Part of you wanted to get angry with him. To yell, to curse, to hit at him for making you clean up after him. But you didn’t. There was still that lingering sadness in his eyes, hidden behind the slyness. You could see he was hurting in ways you couldn’t imagine and so you took it in stride.
He would apologize once his episodes would end. He would read to you from his favorite books, as a sort of peace offering, or make sure to clean up immediately after your meals so that you wouldn’t have to. You never forgave him out loud, but he must have known you didn’t hate him too much because you kept returning. Day after day.
One night you returned to bring him dinner and you could tell he was in one of his dark moods. He hadn’t destroyed himself or the room, thank god, but you could sense the change in his demeanor as he ate. “Are you going to tell me what’s wrong, or shall we continue this night in silence?” You meant it as a friendly nudge. You knew sometimes playful taunts could pull him out of his darkness, but instead he just shook his head.
“I think I would prefer to be alone tonight. Your presence is not needed.” He stood up from the table and walked to his reading chair where he plopped down. Normally, you would have obliged and left, but something was nagging at the back of your mind. A silent command. Stay.
You rose from your seat and slowly made your way towards him. He watched you move closer, his weary eyes seemed to brighten as you took your seat across from him at the edge of his bed. “Something is troubling you,” you say softly, “Please, let me help you.” Loki’s face became unbearably soft as he looked at you with complete tenderness. “You can’t. I’m haunted… the things I’ve done…” he placed his head in his hands and shuddered.
“Loki,” you said gently as you reached over and placed a hand on his knee, “I think it’s time you told me about New York.” Loki lifted his head to look at you. He looked pained at the mention of his biggest failure. He had refused to mention it, and you had been careful to avoid the subject. But you couldn’t stand to see him so broken. Maybe if he talked about it…
“If I told you what happened,” he began slowly. He took your hand off of his knee and held it in his hand gently, looking at it rather than you, using the tips of his fingers to trace the lines on your palm, “you might very well hate me.” A shiver ran down your spine as he touched you. He looked up at you again, his tired eyes searched yours.
“Would it matter if I did?” You asked. Loki gave a shaky laugh, “Perhaps not, but I don’t want this to be the story that scares you away. I was actually starting to enjoy your company.”
You felt a lump in your throat. "I told you before... I am not easily frightened." Loki realized there was no swaying you, or perhaps he needed the outlet. Maybe he could no longer hold back the secrets that haunted him.
He let go of your hand, almost unwillingly, and watched as you slowly pulled it back to rest in your lap. He took a ragged breath, waiting a moment, as if to savor the last moment of normalcy between the two of you. A part of you feared what his story entailed. What had truly happened on Earth?
~
After he finished his story, he finally looked up at you to gage your reaction. You had your hands balled into fists, and they trembled slightly in your lap. Loki noticed them immediately and his face went a little slack. "I'm sorry," he muttered. You blinked at his words. "Sorry? Loki—" you struggled to find the words. A million thoughts were racing through your mind, making you almost dizzy as you tried to formulate a response.
Before you could do so, Loki rose from his chair and began to pace the room. "I realize it's too late for apologies, for all of the wrongs I've done, but you wanted the truth and there it is. I am a monster. A frost giant dressed up as a Prince, an unworthy son, a villain— I am all of those things, and look at you now. Scared of me for it."
"Scared?" You demanded. "You think I'm scared of you? Loki," you stood up from where you were sitting and stepped towards him until he stood only a foot away. "Loki, I am angry for you." Loki was the one to blink in surprise this time. "What?" he gawked. “You were lied to… your whole life. Pitted against your brother for something so trivial as a throne…” You shook your head at the thought of Loki’s story. How much pain had Odin caused? “And then there’s Earth…” You took a step closer to Loki, fighting the urge to wrap your arms around him.
"Loki—Thanos tortured you, manipulated you into overtaking Earth for him... How can you not see that?" Loki remained silent as you continued. "He should be here in these cells, rotting away for his crimes, not you. If you told Odin, maybe he would-"
"NO!" Loki shouted, "My father cannot know about Thanos. You have no idea what the Titan is capable of y/n, he would bring his armies to destroy Asgard." You threw up your hands in frustration. "But this may be the very thing needed to set you free! Help Odin find Thanos, help lead Thor and his Avengers to him and let real justice be done. Your mother would see to it, I know she would. Anything that could grant you your freedom." Ideas flooded your head. Perhaps there was a way to free Loki from his prison. You didn't realize how much you wanted this to be a reality until now. But now you had all of the facts. Loki did not act alone. Loki was not the one to be facing punishment.
"Don't," Loki croaked in front of you. You stilled for a moment, the hope that was rising through your chest was sharply cut off by the look on his face. He had no intention of fighting. "It is kind of you to have such sympathy for me, but it is undeserved. Thanos might have had a hand in the siege of Earth, but it was my hand that held the scepter, my hand that took those lives. And I will not risk losing Asgard by provoking Thanos any further than I already have. My mere presence here is damming enough."
“And so what, you’re just going to stay here? Locked away for the rest of your life? Is that what you want?” You asked incredulously. Loki just gave a dry laugh. “I hardly get what I want,” he looked at you, his eyes glimmered for a moment as he searched your face, “But believe me, it’s what I deserve.”
You crossed your arms in defiance. You couldn’t believe how easily he was willing to just give up. He noticed your posture and flashed a small smile. “Such a fiery thing,” he mused. He held out his hand toward you, and slowly you slipped your hand into his as he pulled you towards his living area. He motioned for you to sit down in his armchair as he slid into his bed. “Let’s not end the night with us bickering. Come, I’ll read to you a while before you leave.”
He pulled out a book from his shelf and began to dip through the pages. You let yourself relax a bit in the chair. If he didn’t want to talk about it anymore tonight, fine. But you had no intentions of keeping quiet once you left this cell. “What would you want?” You asked softly. Loki arched his brows at the question. “You said before that you hardly ever get what you want. So what would you want? What’s something I can do?” Playfulness danced in his eyes. “I could think of a few things that you could do,” he murmured, a grin inching across his face. You rolled your eyes, and ignored the flush of your cheeks.
Loki’s face softened, and the mischievous demeanor slipped away. “If I could have anything,” he began slowly, taking care to articulate his words almost as if he were nervous. “I wouldn’t want to be alone tonight. You can’t imagine how— eerie this place feels at night. It can be soul crushing.” You blinked at him. He seemed serious in his words, and your heart lurched a bit in your chest. This was something you could do. You rose from the chair and hurried across the room to the cell door. You turned to Loki, your breathing uneven as you enacted your plan. “I’ll return soon, trust me.” He just gave you a small confused nod of his head as you slipped out of the cell.
~
Returning had been as difficult as you imagined. First, you had your daily check in with Frigga. She asked about Loki, and if he needed any more books, or clothes, even if he enjoyed the food. She had been pleased to hear that you joined him for meals, that you treated him as an actual person. You wanted to tell her everything that Loki had relayed to you, but now was not the time. You had made a promise.
Sneaking back into the cell was another matter. You had to wait for the guard change during lights out to slip back into the cell. You were careful to not knock anything over in the dark as you stumbled toward Loki’s room. “Loki—“ you began to say as your foot snagged on a edge of a rug. Hands were holding you before you could even Yelp, steadying you in the darkness. “You came,” Loki’s low voice hummed in your ear. “I said I would.”
Your eyes began to adjust to the darkness in the room. Loki had been right. It was eerie here at night. You imagined how being alone with your thoughts in this kind of darkness could lead someone to madness. Loki kept a hand on your shoulder as you felt around for the bed. You had returned in your nightwear, wrapping a dark cloak around yourself as you snuck through the castle. You removed the cloak and inched your way into Loki’s bed, ignoring the pounding in your head as you did so. You felt him lay beside you, the heat of him warmed your side as you stared blankly into the darkness. “Thank you,” he whispered.
“I could get in trouble for this,” you replied in the same hushed whisper, “They might throw me in one of these cells if they catch me.” You felt Loki laugh beside you. It was odd to be so close to him, especially in the engulfing darkness. It felt like energy buzzed around you. As if you were in a vacuum of space, floating along aimlessly in the darkness. At least you weren’t alone.
“How could you get in trouble? Clearly, you were seduced by the imprisoned prince with his quick words and stunning looks. After tending to me every day, it was only inevitable that you would fall victim to my charm.” This time you found yourself laughing, taking care to cover your mouth as you did so. “I guess that would be the easier explanation as to why they’ll find me in your bed,” you teased. You let your hand fall from your mouth back to your side, but accidentally put it in top on Loki’s. At first you went to move it immediately, but stopped when you felt the curve of his fingers hook around yours.
“Loki-“ you warned. “What is that song you’re always humming?” Loki asked quietly, letting his hand wrap around yours. His fingers intertwined with yours and you did not pull away. “It’s a lullaby,” you finally respond, “my mother would sing it to me as a child. It calms me.” Loki strummed his thumb over your hand but did not move outside of that. Your heart fluttered in your chest as you stared into the darkness. “While I am making a habit of being selfish tonight, can I ask one more thing of you?” Loki asked.
“Sure,” you whispered, feeling your voice choke up in your throat. “Would you hum it— the song?” You smirked in the darkness. “I thought you said it was incessant noise?” Loki just gave a small chuckle. “Perhaps it’s grown on me,” he murmured, “your silly little song.” Your eyelids felt droopy. The only thing that reminded you that you were awake was the soft touch of Loki’s hand in yours. You smiled, knowing he couldn’t see you and began to hum. You hummed until Loki’s breathing slowed into a soft rhythm, and his hand stilled in yours. You hummed until the darkness over took your senses, and your head nestled into the crook of the Prince’s neck.
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homesickn · 11 months
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Isn't Bite Also Touch?
(Loki X female demon!reader)
Chapter 8! — read it all here.
Summary: You and Loki have the first training practice together with the Avengers.
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“Who the Hell is Ediel?” Clint asked. “I swear you are bringing people for free from now on.”
It's the first training practice that you're joining along with the Avengers.
“I agree with Hawkeye.” You say, a hand holding your foot up in your stretching. You're all preparing yourselves before starting the exercises. "The Avengers are just accepting free forms at this point.”
“I never even heard this name Ediel in the Bible,” Clint comments, shrugging his shoulders. “Not that I've really paid attention.”
“Maybe it's a made-up name,” you say as if you don't know the truth.
“I love how you're just gossiping about him as if you don't know his life,” Thor brings up with a smile. You give a smile back, sticking your tongue out. “It's kind of funny.”
“Listen, dude. I'm just saying,” There's a twinkle to your expression as you share. “Maybe…if you search for his pictures you'll see his real name.”
“You're the first person that I've ever seen call Thor a dude,” Nat says and you laugh.
“I literally couldn't care less.” Clint expresses with a tired grunt, referring to all the Ediel talk. He was wrapping some bandage wrap around his fist because it was covered by a large bruise.
Ediel was taking pictures somewhere else, it was understandable to say that the humans loved Ediel, since the party scandal. They adored him, it left you infuriated. 
He wasn't even that special, you could do so many more things than him, you were overly powerful, your powers crossed the limits throughout Hell and Earth. You were a child of Satan.
Yet, he was what they wanted to take pictures of. Bunch of fools. 
They're pathetic.
You cross your arms as you look at the team preparing their places, you angrily mutter out your thoughts of him. “Idiot, he's a fool.”
“Anyone from a thousand miles would be able to hear your angry mumbling.” Loki says, coming to your side, crouching down to where you stood sitting near the wall.
“I'm not mumbling, I don't do that.” You cock your head, barely turning to face him. “You know, you were nicer to me when you didn't know I was a demon,” you muse.
He looks at you, amused by your sudden statement.
“When I first saw you you seemed like the most powerful creature my eyes had ever seen,” you blush at his words, that does leave you a bit baffled and speechless. “I wasn't anticipating any family issues in your life story.” He says, remembering the Angel.
You grunt in annoyance, still with your arms crossed childishly. 
“As I said, you don't know me.”
“That's right,” he looks elsewhere. “I despise you.”
That stings a bit more than you expected. How could he claim not to like you? You've barely ever done anything to him.
“Just now, right?” He looks at you with curiosity, and a frown. “You didn't hate me when we first met. You were kind.”
He looks around the room as you say that, quietly remembering his pleasantry when he thought you were just a very powerful witch. He didn't want to think about being too soft and trusting with a demon, but you've done nothing if not show him loyalty and… friendliness.
And on the contrary to his beliefs, he was feeling yet stronger every day, after spending it with you.
He thought you'd weaken him. He thought he should keep himself away. 
He tried to shake away the small bubbling guilt he started to feel. He could see the little bruise, almost non-perceptible, that he'd left on your lips.
“Honestly,” he clears his throat. “I feel like it makes sense for me to doubt your truth.” He tries to explain, he knew you were lying to him about something you wouldn't tell.
You tilt your head arrogantly.
“Well, then you can despise me very far away from me,” you shoosh him away with your hands, like you're guiding a dog out. “Go, go, leave me alone.” 
He looks incredulous, kind of entertained by your gestures.
“You can't treat me like that, are you serious?” He says, but he's smiling at your funny attempts to stop him from bothering you. “I'm not a dog.”
“One day,” you confidently start. “I'll make you my little pet. My dog, a very misbehaved stray for me to train. Mark my words. You'll kneel at my feet.” He feels the power behind those words reach his groins as he shamelessly gives you an infuriating smile.
“Don't threaten me with a good time.”
“I'm being nice, you literally compared me to a–” you paused dramatically to say the next word. “bug, if you remember, from earlier, a bug.”
“Forgive me,” he said, smiling at you. It didn't feel very sincere.
You were quite shaken from his behavior, as much as you love playfully annoying him, his constant emotional barrier strikes you by surprise at times. 
Surprise only, not sadness. You wouldn't let yourself feel inferior for that, much less his silly offending names during rough sexual acts.
Besides, you like it when he's rough too.
Steve arrives a few minutes after, taking your attention away from the annoying god by your side. 
He brings his hands together and begins to explain the exercises you were about to practice, also, how every single training is depending on your specific powers and strength as an individual.
So you should have a partner that matches your level to fight with, and as there's no other match for magic…
“I guess you could say that's me.” Loki points at himself when you look for a partner.
“Look, I would fight you, of course,” you lift your hands up to him as you explain. “But frankly, I don't want to kill you.”
“Kill me?” He laughs. “You're so funny, little demoness.” He conjures his knives.
“Now be careful you two. We don't want to ruin our training with a real murder, we already have enough trouble at bay.” You quirk your eyebrow to Loki from Steve's words.
“See, you fool?” You make sure to make your hands a bit reddish with your powers now, warm enough to burn as you touch him, but not enough to be perceptible to others that you're using pyrokinesis. “No killing.”
Loki sees your little trick, he can feel your magic as you're close, and purposefully makes his hands colder too, he could only hope they didn't turn blue.
As you go for the first attack he hisses from the burn, he grabs your wrist and you feel the freezing touch on your skin.
“Oww!” You jump from the cold and feel the needle pricking sensation on your flesh. You gasp as you point accusing him. “Cheater! You're using ice powers! I didn't even know you had these.”
“You get caught unaware and assume I'm cheating now?” You take the moment of his distraction, and jump to fight him in another hurried way, like a wild beast.
He catches you by your hips while you keep hitting his head with your fists giving very burning sensations. Nothing truly harmful, so it doesn't step the limits.
He complains and winces from the touch. “We should agree on no pyrokinesis, to keep the battle fair.”
“Am I hurting the little prince?” You manage to ask, smiling devilishly as he still holds you up, attempting to take you off of him. 
“You truly are an annoying little imp, aren't you?” You feel the softness behind those words, your attacks now getting less intense. The others don't stop their training, you keep your focus on Loki's moves.
He manages to push you off of him with a blast of his green seidr, you fall on one of the comfortable mats on the floor, proper for practical fighting. 
You giggle as your body hits the ground, you give a thumbs up to him as you cradle your lower stomach. “Good one, man, you got me.” 
Loki doesn't know why he feels this… guilt as he watches you, the same position, you, on the floor. Quite the same as earlier but now your words rang in his ears.
You don't know why he's standing there like a fish left in thought, but you take the moment to lift yourself with easy flexibility, giving a superhero stance as you run towards him again.
Your powers make him hit the wall, he grunts and gives you a smile.
“Didn't hurt. Is this the best your powers can do?”
“I told you, I could kill you if I use them too much, be careful.” You tease and feel the magic tingling your veins, it excites you whenever you can use it freely like this. You were almost jumping like a kid from excitement.
“As much as magic may be a fascinating sight,” Natasha says, and you turn to face her. “Please, don't break anything in the way.” 
Bruce was sitting on a little chair as he spoke up. “Yeah, preferably everything in place.”
Loki grabs your arm and twists your body with his to the ground, hovering you again, and licking his lips. You feel the shock to your core as you look up his eyes, he gulps as he looks down into yours.
“Don't turn your back to your enemy, you really do need the training lessons.” 
You smile. “Well, I don't have to practice. I don't need to.” You easily turn his body around, pinning him down this time. 
He hungrily gazes your figure up on him, straddling him, then he catches your eyes again.
“See? I can do anything I want, sometimes you tend to forget.” You wink and press yourself closer to his chest, almost reaching his mouth as you speak.
“This doesn't look like the usual training we have around here,” Tony mutters, peeking from the open door. “This is why I don't participate in these things.”
You lick your lips and move to guide Loki's body up with you, he relents and attaches his hand to yours as you two move to stand up.
Once it's done, you stare at the sight of your hands together, you twist it a little, like a creature facing something unusual, analyzing it. It's not something you usually do. 
Nobody really ever held your hand, even in a situation as casual as this was.
He untangles his hands from yours. You feel the wish you could grab it back.
“Let's keep training.”
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“Who do you train with?” You ask Thor, taking a breath from your training with Loki.
“With Loki, but you stole him from me,” he says, not very seriously, smiling at you and handing you a bottle of water. “My brother and I fight together all the time, it's almost tradition between us at this point. He's the only match for my Asgardian strength.”
It feels comforting to see the familiarity behind Thor's words, he's really nostalgic as he talks of his experiences of battle and training practices with his brother. 
“But it's great to see an equal match to him, one that shares magical abilities too,” he continues.
“It's rare those moments that you come to compliment me or my skill set,” Loki snickers at his brother. 
“I always speak the world of you,” Thor's words felt too honest, too impactful to a level you felt you were interrupting something personal about him, and his family.
You're in awe, his brother truly loves him.
But who are you to say anything to Loki? You know how he must feel. Left to always be the one in second place, his brother destined to have the throne.
Your eyes glance at the others still in action, your muscles ready to continue the fighting but you take the time to ponder your thoughts.
That's why Loki must be so restricted, so distrusting. He questions your every move, just because of your nature. 
You don't want to take Thor's side and tease Loki's moodiness, besides, it's not really your business, you don't know what they've been through.
“Do you want to train with him a little? We can keep going later,” You offer to Thor, and say the second part to Loki.
“Are you really selling me like that?” Loki asks jokingly with a smile.
“Yes. It's a very easy deal,” You say, the golden brother laughs and pats Loki's back.
“Let's do some battle moves, just like the old times,” Thor moves to grab his weapon, Loki doesn't seem excited, but he definitely seems used to it as he readies himself. “Then you will show the lady your fighting techniques.” 
You smile at the two, glad to be an audience.
“Just know I'll be rooting for you!” You loudly tell Loki, he stops short on his steps, processing your words. Then, he quietly moves to prepare for the training with his brother.
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Some hours later, you find yourself walking towards Stark's common lab to pester him.
“There's a lot of new people coming around,” You say, shrugging your shoulders as you share with Tony. “This is ridiculous, why so many? Why do you even need so many people around?”
“This tower doesn't stand by itself.”
“It actually does, that's how buildings are made.”
“No, no, stupid, I meant the work around here. S.H.I.E.L.D and the Stark Industries.” Tony brings up, checking some files. “You're just complaining because your brother is getting pampered by the media, it's a good thing, at least it covers your face from the news.”
“My face in the media should be a delight, humans should be grateful. AND, you should know better than to call me stupid,” you meekly threaten.
“You don't scare us.”
“Because I choose not to,” your voice is cold.
“Right,” he pretends not to care. “But what is the matter with that? Having many people around.”
You sigh loudly as you look out of the lab, unfortunately seeing that there's one of the female agents talking with Loki. A blonde, high-pitched voice woman.
“Like, who the fuck is she?” You point to the woman close to Loki.
“Oh, that's Clair. She's one of the best in the business.”
“I bet she is,” you angrily muster. “Such a pathetic human name.”
“She's also incredibly Christian, maybe that's just your demon side speaking,” you pout from Tony's words. 
“Cheer up, sis, no one's stealing your man from you.” Ediel shows up and you give him an angry stare.
The lab was usually chillier than the common areas of the Tower, you wondered why Tony felt the need to keep everything cold and so robotic-looking, but again, you're not the scientist here. 
“You shouldn't even be here,” you bring up. “All of your species are insufferable, always bringing up their noses where they weren't called.” 
“Jesus fucking Christ,” Tony swears, passing his hand down his face in disbelief, and clear annoyance. “Could you shut the fuck up? Honestly, I'll pay for you to leave the house.”
You smile impishly, tilting your shoulders up and down in joy. Still smiling even as you look over where Loki is.
“Deal.”
“Wait, what?” Tony is confused.
“I want to go out!” You plead like a child. “But I can't go by myself…” 
“Poor Loki,” Ediel looks at the ceiling to avoid your face. “Not only is being held hostage here but has to deal with you and your possessiveness.”
A tilt of your wrist has his voice disappearing, surprising Stark with the sudden use of your magic like that. 
Ediel touches his throat and tries to figure out what's wrong with his vocal cords, because you've removed it with magic.
“Finally, some peace,” you sigh, then smile to leave their presence, moving towards the loud lady bugging Loki with her presence.
“Loki!” You call loudly, interrupting with a shake of your hand eagerly through the air. “Loki! Loki!”
He almost rolls his eyes, but holds back a smile. 
“Pardon,” he whispers to Clair. As you reach over, he puts his hand close to your stomach to stop you in your steps. He says your name. “Don't do–”
“Who are you?” You ask the woman whom you already know the name of, the sparkle in your eyes holding fake politeness. 
“Don't do anything irrational,” Loki's low tone orders, his timbre almost vibrating through your brain like a purr of a kitten, but he seems a bit too serious when he says these words. “Please, I know you.”
You gape at him and put a hand over your chest. Looking at the girl who's sheepishly looking back at you, shy now. 
She introduces herself calmly, you nod to recognize it but still pay more attention to Loki's insinuation.
“I'm not going to do anything, such a lack of trust! You need some therapy, man,” again, he sighs off, from the term, squishing his eyes shut now. “Therapy, some talking would do you good, for sure.” 
He passes his hand over his face in annoyance, you close your arms around him. He just puts his hand on your arm to steady you. 
“I'm a god, I don't need these things, a Midgardian giving me tips on how to live my life,” you're surprised he doesn't push you away, just keeps his hand over your arm, so you can look up from his chest.
He looks down at you to see you talk.
“Do they have therapy in Asgard?” 
“We do, we're just too proud to face it sometimes.”
“So that's just a general experience then. Good to know,” you don't want to waste his good mood too much.
Clair's just shamefully trying to move away to leave you two alone, trying to sneak out. You could only chuckle, the sound muffling against Loki's chest.
“You drove her away,” he states, not sounding harsh or upset. His hand caresses your back now, he also pushes your hair behind your ears. 
“I tend to do it a lot.”
“They're scared of you.”
“I know that too,” you could hear his heartbeat. “Do you know we're allowed out?” He knits his eyebrows, surprised, maybe it's a lie.
“How?”
“I tricked Stark, I think,” he can't hold back his smile from your sentence. 
In Asgard, Thor was the one that was considered the role model, Loki always tried to be like him. 
He recognized from an early age that his methods and thinking were too different from his brother's, it upset him, even his sense of humor contained more wit and tricks, his tricks would always bring the fun to the scenes most of the time.
It was somewhat devilish from the Asgardians perspective, the tricks, Loki wasn't naturally aware of how socially devious his pranks were.
Thor was always the one being praised, the more he tried to copy that, the lonelier he felt when he didn't receive the same treatment. 
The tricks felt like an escape, something that's his, his magic did that too. The mischief suddenly didn't come only for battle tactics or parties, or to call for the attention of his parents.
It became part of him, it grew within him, he couldn't get it away. To a point, he became known to it. Everybody knew of his tricks and lies, they grew popular and infamous. 
There were a lot of problems that came with being popularly known as a trickster, obviously. But altogether, it felt quite lonely. 
Something he thought to be inherently linked with being a trickster, and the God of Lies: you get no one's trust, no one sticks with you, he should grow used to loneliness.
His mother was the only one who's always seen him in a different light, even if it's difficult for Loki to admit— and he isn't going to say this outloud; but he knows she loves him. She loves him, she motivated him to learn more magic, she's one of the only people who could find the fun in some of his harmless tricks. She often says she's proud of his intellect, respecting him for all his individuality. 
She's the only person he resented not seeing from this deal of having to stick to Midgard. She's the only one he truly misses when he thinks of home.
His mind often convinces him most of the time that all she did was out of guilt, for lying to him for his entire life. 
He doesn't know why he feels so sour, that's why he's refusing to think too much about home lately.
But you?
Your bright eyes locking with his, he could only hope you don't hear the quick pounding in his chest. 
You came into his life with all he's been criticized for in his life, sharing it with him and not feeling ashamed of it for even a second. And for the first time, he's found someone who truly seems to admire all the powers he has, who shares the same mischief as him. A demon.
He never knows what to do with this information, he doesn't know what to think, it's like a huge barrier prevents him from trusting you. 
Whenever he thinks too much about your trustworthiness, the reminders of his time under Thanos' grip hit him like the blade of a sharp knife. He could still feel the phantom pains from the bubbling heat burning his skin, from the chains holding him as he tries to remember how it feels like to be safe.
And he'd often try to forget how painful the lies they told hurt him, he tried to think of home, searching for a feeling of safety, but it'd only bring him further down his pain, it would stick inside and mix with something traumatic, and bitter.
It's difficult, he still doesn't feel free. The nightmares make that, you make him doubt your loyalty, what if he wakes up one day and he's still there? 
Out there, dehydrating and begging for peace in his mind, feeling his bones weaken under his usually so tough skin. It still gives him goosebumps, he swallows in anxiety.
His hand is still on your back, you're curiously looking up at him. 
“Too deep into his own thoughts for me to see it,” you think, you're not so sure you, actually, wish to read his mind.
“Earth to Loki?” You ask. He brings his gaze to you again.
“Unfortunately, I'm still on this godforsaken planet,” you laugh.
“I'm going to make sure we can go out.”
“As in, like, from the Tower? Forever?”
“I was thinking just for like, a park or something,” you pretend to think. “But yeah, we can discuss escaping later. I have my ways.”
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Taglist: @mischief2sarawr @dangertoozmanykids101 @lokidbadguy
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chickenfics · 2 years
Text
Let’s forget we were ever broken
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Relationship: Loki x GN!reader (SFW)
Summary: It just wasn't your week. You could feel the tension building -- it twisted inside your gut and sent your heart racing, thoughts sparling until you wanted to curl inside yourself or scream so loud that the panic went away. All you knew was that you were one inconvenience away from breaking down. And then you dropped a damn mug.
Or, the reader is having a bad week and Loki is there to pick up the pieces, literally and metaphorically.
Word count: 4.8k
Content warning: magic use (sort of mind control, but in a good/helpful way), anxiety/anxiety attacks, stress, reader is kind of mean to themselves. No use of Y/N and no pronouns are used for the reader
Masterlist  Also on ao3
It just wasn’t your week.
It had started off with an extra difficult job in the lab, which both Bruce and Tony were “confident” you could handle on your own. Apparently, they had much more pressing matters to deal with, being bonafide Avengers and all, and so naturally they’d decided to leave the less important job to one of their most trusted employees. You.
Less important didn’t mean easier, however, and a job that should have had at least three people working on it only had… well, you. It was the first thing to send your anxiety pressing at the backs of your eyes, threatening to fill your chest.
But you pushed it down, convincing yourself that you were fine despite the countless times your own mind had proven that statement very wrong. When would you learn to actually listen to the warning signs your body gave you?
Not this time.
The next nail in the metaphorical coffin was your sleep schedule -- or lack thereof. The lab project was draining your energy during the day, and anxiety was keeping you wide awake at night. You tossed and turned into the early hours of the morning, on the verge of panic over the most trivial things.
But even though they were trivial, they twisted inside your gut and sent your heart racing, thoughts spiraling until you wanted to curl inside yourself or scream so loud that the panic went away. It physically hurt you, and no matter what you did, there was no relief.
You could feel the tension building throughout the week -- a week that should have been perfectly peaceful and normal and nice. There shouldn’t have been anything wrong with you, and you shouldn’t have been making such a big deal out of nothing, but you couldn’t figure out how.
All you knew was that you were one inconvenience away from breaking down. You could feel the tears pooling at the backs of your eyes, a constant threat that had you feeling out of breath and miserable. The last thing you needed was a breakdown. You worked for the Avengers for Christ’s sake, you needed to keep it together.
But by the end of the week, you were a ball of nerves and exhaustion -- not a fun combination -- and you knew that it was only a matter of time.
Tony and Bruce were expecting your job to be finished by next week, and you’d hardly made a dent in the work. Realistically you knew that you only needed to reach out to one of them and bring attention to your struggle and both would jump to help alleviate as much as they could, but… asking for help was hard. Especially when your mind was so overwhelmed, giving you all sorts of reasons why you shouldn't.  
So you bit your lip until it nearly bled and continued to work. It was midnight by the time you finally had to call it quits. You could feel the edges of your ability fraying and knew that, at this point, your work was definitely going to suffer if you didn’t stop.
Dragging yourself to your room felt like a surrender to the darkness that waited for you there.
After changing into the most comfortable clothes you could find, you threw yourself into bed wrapped tightly in several blankets. Hugging a pillow to your chest, you tried not to let the thoughts grab you by the throat and pummel you until you couldn’t see straight.
You failed.
For a moment you thought you’d managed to doze off, but instead, you stayed suspended in that space between sleep and waking, exactly where your anxiety had its full advantage. The next time you looked at the clock, it was one-thirty. For some reason, that was when the panic really set in.
Your already frantic heartbeat began to pick up, and you felt your breathing stall in your chest until you were gasping for any bit of air you could get. Remembering different methods you’d read about online, you made a conscious effort to steady your breathing.
In, out. You’re going to be fine. In, out. You just needed to calm down. In, out. You only feel this way because it’s nearly two in the morning and your brain is fried.  
Shockingly, it helped, and you found that you weren’t at risk of passing out anymore. Though, maybe that wasn’t a good thing, considering it probably would have been the only way you could have gotten a good night’s sleep.
Groaning, you rolled out of the blanket burrito you’d made of yourself and wobbled to your feet. You needed a distraction -- anything to keep you from focusing on how you were feeling. With your heart still fluttering violently in your chest, you opened your bedroom door, hesitantly checking both ways before padding into the hallway.
The compound was silent, as it should be so early in the morning, and dark enough that you had to feel along the walls. It was only once you reached the kitchen that you were able to see well enough in the dim blue light coming from inside.
You stumbled in without thinking and nearly ran into a brick wall.
“Easy there, mortal,” the brick wall said, grabbing your elbows to keep you upright.
“Shit, I’m so sorry, I…” your eyes met Loki's, his hair looking ruffled and bed-worn, and lost the few excuses you’d managed to think of. “Sorry,” was all you could say instead.
The god just scoffed, releasing your arms and stepping back.
“It’s quite alright. Though I must say, I wasn’t expecting anyone else to be out and about at this hour.” he crossed his arms, and you thought you saw him stifle a yawn.
In fact, now that you got a better look at him, he seemed… disheveled. You’d never seen the Asgardian with so much as a hair out of place, let alone in pajama bottoms and a wrinkled shirt. Though you weren’t necessarily on best friend terms or anything, Loki was always a bit more friendly with you than the others. It probably had something to do with you treating him like a living person and not some storybook villain or boogeyman.  
Was that a lapse in judgment? Hell if you knew. But he’d been perfectly decent, if a little rough around the edges, whenever he’d interacted with you, so you weren’t about to hold his past against him. Now, though, you couldn’t help but noticed how he was watching you, eyes narrowed as they followed you through the kitchen.
You opened the fridge and winced at the white light before scanning the shelves. For what, you had absolutely no idea. Unless Tony had stocked up on decent mental health and the ability to sleep for more than a few hours, you weren’t going to find anything you wanted.
“Yeah, sorry. Couldn’t sleep,” you murmured in answer to Loki’s comment.
“I can see that,” he replied.
You closed the fridge, managing to hold back a groan of exasperation.
“Are you alright?” Loki asked in that half-annoyed way.
“Yeah, just tired.” You tried to offer him a smile, turning to the cabinets now in hopes of something.
Hot chocolate. You could make hot chocolate. That was a good coping mechanism, right? Pulling open the cabinet door, you stretched up to grab a mug.
In hindsight, you should have known.
Just as you began to lift the mug from the shelf, the ceramic slipped through your fingers and crashed onto the floor where it shattered. You tensed at the noise, not missing how Loki had jumped forward as if to catch the mug, or maybe to stop you from trying to catch it but had pulled back at the last instant.
Staring down at the broken pieces, you felt your own resolve crack. The tears that had been threatening you all week began to surface despite your attempt to choke them back. Instead, you covered your face with your hands.
“No,” you whispered, voice wet with the tears you could feel collecting between your fingers. “Fuck.”
“Alright,” Loki took a step towards you.
“That was Nat’s favorite,” your expression twisted behind your hands, and a silent, breathy sob caught in your throat.
“Okay, it’s alright,” Loki assured, his voice alarmingly gentle. You glanced up, sliding your hands down your face enough to look at him.
He gave you a kind smile. Then, with an almost imperceptible twitch of his fingers, the mug began to come back together, pieces melding into one another until it was whole again. He bent down to pick it up, then placed it carefully on the counter. Meanwhile, you stared at it with a mixture of awe and contempt.
How easily he had put it back together. How easily it had broken you.
“I’m so stupid,” you groaned, returning your face to your hands. You resisted the urge to scratch at the skin as you felt your heartbeat pick back up. You couldn’t breathe… when was the last time you breathed?
“Hey,” Loki grabbed your attention. “You’re not stupid.”
You had meant to argue. It came out as a hoarse whimper instead. You dug your palms into your eyes.
“Darling, I need you to breathe,” Loki said, and the shock of hearing it from him was enough for you to look up.
He was watching you carefully, mouth slightly ajar as he seemed to think something over. Then he said,
“Can I… can I do something to you?”
“Wh… What?” You asked nervously. “Do what?”
“It will make you feel better. If you don’t like it, I’ll never do it again.” he held his hands out placidly as if trying to convince you that it wasn’t a trick.
“Alright,” you said eventually, dragging the heel of your palm across your cheek. He straightened up, a blank look crossing his face.
“...Come again?”
“Yeah, why not,” you nodded. You felt like you were dying -- what was the worst thing he could do to you?
Well… that list might have been quite long, actually. He seemed to realize it, too, going by the look on his face, but you couldn’t be bothered to care. You were exhausted, and your head was spinning, and you felt so overwhelmed.
Loki closed his mouth, narrowing his eyes before making up his mind. Reaching forward, he gently laid his hands on either side of your temples. The second his thumbs brushed your forehead, a green glow began to pour out of them. You felt your anxiety slowly ebb away as an inexplicable calm washed over you.
Swaying gently, you let out a long sigh. You watched Loki take a similarly deep breath, only he released his slowly. After a minute or so, the green light faded and he returned his hands to his side. Your head had drooped slightly, chin falling towards your chest, and your eyes were half closed.
“I haven’t lost you, have I?” Loki’s voice suddenly pulled you out of your haze. Straightening up, you blinked a few times and tried to smile at him.
“No,” you sniffed, feeling another tear curl down your cheek. While your panic was gone, exhaustion had set in with new vigor, and you couldn’t help but feel overwhelmingly foolish.
Tentatively, Loki leaned down towards you and reached out a hand, fingers gently brushing your elbow.
“You’re not hurt, are you?” he asked.
“No,” you said it again, shaking your head. The tears wouldn’t stop coming, and you groaned, trying to claw them away.
“Hey now, stop that,” Loki insisted, gently grabbing your wrists. You complied but buried your face in your palms.
Taking a deep, shuddering breath, you tried to stop crying. Why were you still crying?
“I’m sorry, I--”
“If you say that one more time, I’m going to throw something at you.”
His tone assured you that it was a joke, and the gentle smile in his voice told you that it was because he cared. Even so, you couldn’t help but try and shrink yourself out of existence. Of course, Loki noticed, and he seemed to go rigid.
“Did I… overstep?”
“No,” you quickly replied, voice firmer than before, despite its miserable tone. He released your wrists, and this time you looked up at him, but the sight of him watching you -- his expression almost tender -- sent you right back to feeling timid.
“I’m just--”
“No sorry, I hope.”
“Tired,” you finished. “I’m so fucking tired.”
He hovered near, but you got the sense that he didn’t know what to say. Why would he? He was a god, a prince -- hell, he wasn’t even from this world -- why should he be bothered to comfort you? Yet he already had. And he was still hanging around as if he wanted to do more.
“Thank you,” you finally found your voice. “For, uh… that. And the mug, god, thanks. I think I would have died if I had to tell Nat I broke her mug.”
“I’m… sure she would have forgiven you,” Loki offered without much conviction. He didn’t really know Natasha, but he was right. She would have.
“I know, I know. I’m just such a--”
“I’m going to stop you there,” Loki interrupted, holding out a pointed finger for emphasis. “You’re in no state to be giving opinions about yourself, especially when they are as wrong as I suspect. Now tell me: if you’re tired, why aren’t you in bed?”
It should have sounded like such a demeaning question, but it didn’t.
“It’s just,” you shrugged, picking at your sweatshirt. “Work’s been really hard lately, which sounds ridiculous because I work in a lab, for Christ’s sake, I don’t even do anything" -- you waved your hand -- “that important.”
Loki opened his mouth, but you kept going. You really shouldn’t have, but you did.
“And my… uhm, my anxiety’s been kind of bad?” you phrased it as a question. You’d never been good at talking about your mental health. So many people had it so much worse than you did; you felt selfish complaining about something that you should have been able to handle on your own.
“I try, I really try, but… god, it’s so stupid, but I just can’t sleep.”
“You,” Loki began, taking another step closer to you. “Are not stupid, nor are your struggles. Do you understand me?”
His tone left no room for arguing, and you stared up at him wide-eyed.
“I… um…” you felt your eyes grow watery again, and you tried so hard to get yourself under control.
But when Loki made a soft noise of sympathy and tilted his head, you knew you had failed miserably.
"Just nod your head, love," he murmured, smirking kindly.
Eyebrows scrunching together with pain, you nodded and sniffed -- embarrassingly loud in the otherwise silent room. Suddenly, Loki shifted his weight. When he spoke next, he glanced down at his feet and wouldn’t meet your eye.
“What, uh,” he cleared his throat. “What were you coming in here to get?”
You must have looked confused because he tilted his chin towards the mug he had brought back to life.
“Oh, uh…” you contemplated lying to him instead of telling this gorgeous, otherworldly Asgardian prince that you’d come into the kitchen at nearly two in the morning to make hot chocolate like some child.
But after a moment of internal struggle -- and a bit of panic, too -- you came to the conclusion that lying to the God of Lies probably wasn’t very smart. And you’d already dug yourself enough of a hole for one night.
“I… was gonna make hot chocolate," you sighed. "Thought it might… distract me, I don’t know."
Loki finally looked up at you, eyebrows drawing together ever so slightly in another moment of internal conflict. And then he nodded almost formally.
“Alright then.”
Spinning around, he grabbed the mug off the counter and headed for the fridge. You blinked at the empty space he’d left behind, and by the time your brain had caught up enough to realize what exactly he was about to do, Loki was already pouring milk into the mug.
“Wait, Loki you don’t need to do that,” you insisted, stepping towards him. He turned around to face you, straightening to his full height and leveling you up with a regal and very determined glare.
“Sit down,” he said in a voice that was used to giving orders. Your mouth fell ajar, but your body was already backing you onto a stool. “Good,” he added, softening to a more sultry tone, accompanied by a very Loki smirk.
You were way too tired for this.
Leaning sideways over the table, you dropped your head onto your hand and watched Loki through half-lidded eyes as he popped the mug into the microwave and turned it on.
“How do you know how to make hot chocolate?” you mumbled, feeling completely drained.
Loki only scoffed.
“I have learned some things from you mortals, much as a loathe to admit it.”
“Mmm…” you wiped a hand across your eyes. You could feel a headache coming on -- which was exactly what you needed. Maybe there were meds somewhere in the cabinets.
Pulling yourself to your feet, you began to sluggishly swing open cabinet doors, searching the dark shelves for familiar pill bottles. When you finally located them, they were on the very top shelf.
Of-fucking-course.
Why did all your roommates have to be freakishly tall?
Stretching up onto your tip-toes, you reached as far as you could, but your fingers barely brushed the shelf. With a muffled groan, you bonked your head onto the cabinet door and left it there. Maybe you’d pass out from exhaustion. It would have been a blessing, at this point.
But suddenly, you felt a presence looming behind you. Your breath caught in your throat, and yet you still didn’t move. Not even when Loki stepped closer to reach over your shoulder.
“What’ll it be? Pick your poison,” he said, his voice startlingly close, even though you’d already known he was there.
“Um… that one,” you pointed to a bottle and nodded when he laid a finger on it.
“Here you are,” he leaned towards your ear, retrieving the bottle and holding it out.
“Thanks,” you managed, noticing how cold his fingers were.
“Of course,” he replied, so casually that you had a hard time wrapping your head around it.
“Why are you being so nice?” you hadn’t meant to ask the question aloud, but there it was. And now you were left staring at Loki, who scrutinized you for a moment before turning to pull open the microwave door.
“I can go back to being my generally disagreeable self if you’d prefer,” he returned, obviously intending to sound like he was challenging you to a fight. But… somehow it didn’t. His usual bite fell short.
“No, I just… I mean there’s nothing wrong with the way normally are, I guess, it’s just…” you sighed. “I don’t know. Sorry.”
Slowly turning around, Loki looked at you like a cat looks at a mouse while he lazily stirred the contents of the mug.
“What did I promise you if you said that again?” he asked, arching an eyebrow.
Oh. Shit.
“Uhm…” your face grew hot, and you smiled nervously, hunching your shoulders.
But Loki only smirked and shook his head before tapping the spoon on the rim of the mug. Popping it into his mouth, he handed the mug to you.
“T-Thanks,” you whispered, feeling a swell of gratefulness. It made you want to cry again. “Really, thank you, Loki.”
The god crossed his arms, leaning back against the counter and looking smug. He pulled the spoon out of his mouth and pointed it at you.
“Your gratitude is much more endearing than your apologies,” he said, then tossed the spoon into the sink with a soft clang. You felt your face burning up, but oddly enough, you weren’t uncomfortable. Not exactly.
“Thanks, I guess?”
“Mm,” Loki hummed, arching an eyebrow almost lazily.
Feeling your legs grow tired, the fuzziness in your head not helping, you sunk back down onto the stool. If you hadn’t been so exhausted, you might have been shocked when Loki sat down next to you. Even though you were exhausted, you nearly did a double take before pulling yourself together.
Then it dawned on you that you weren’t the only one up in the middle of the night. Loki had been in the kitchen before you. Maybe he wasn’t sleeping well, either. An idea entered your mind, but you struggled with it for nearly a full minute before finally working up the courage to ask.
“Why are you up?”
Turning to look at him for the first time since he’d sat down, you saw Loki raise his eyebrows in acknowledgment of your question, giving you a sideways glance. It looked like he’d been spacing out, and suddenly you noticed the dark circles under his eyes -- a deep contrast against his pale skin.
“I… couldn’t sleep,” he offered, sounding like he wanted to be defensive but just couldn’t find the energy.
“I can see that,” you replied, your mouth twitching with a smirk.
His head swiveled around to give you an almost scandalized look, and he exhaled a quick, hoarse laugh. Soon, you were laughing too, leaning your head in your crossed arms. You could feel the heat radiating off your mug, and it lulled you into a sense of calm.
Shaking his head, Loki peered down at you again with… amusement? That was odd. You’d never seen him like this -- without all his illusions and facades -- and it made you worried.
“Seriously though,” you whispered, brow drawing together as you thumbed the handle of your mug. “You okay?”
When Loki looked down at you this time, his eyes were filled with a gentle, almost childlike confusion. Your question had obviously caught him off guard, and it was even more clear that he didn’t know how to respond to it. You could see his internal warfare as he looked away from you, scanning the kitchen and trying to make up his mind.
You, on the other hand, watched him with a gripping curiosity. Finally, his eyes found yours again, and you were intrigued to find shyness in them.
“Uhm… nightmares,” he said with a shake of his head, as if he were trying to brush away the seriousness of his answer. Like he was trying to convince you it was nothing.
“I’m sorry,” you said -- and both of you realized at the same time.
“That’s twice now that I ought to have chucked something at your head, little mortal,” he murmured, smirking wryly.
“Okay, well, I think I should get a pass for that last one,” you insisted, smiling right back at him.
But after a moment, both of your faces fell enough that you remembered where you were.
“I really am sorry, though. That you have nightmares,” you hesitantly offered, spinning the mug between your hands. You took a sip of the hot chocolate.
“It… is what it is,” Loki shrugged, and it was the first time you’d ever heard him sound so desperate.
“Still sucks,” you insisted.
“Yes,” he hesitantly agreed.
“Do you, uh, want some hot chocolate?” you suddenly asked, scooting the cup over to him. He looked at you like you’d lost your mind. “It won’t cure your nightmares, but it makes things a little better, at least."
Normally you would have never -- but then again, normally you wouldn’t be having this conversation at all. Not with Loki. But there was something about seeing him at this hour, seeing him so weary, that gave you the courage.
Loki’s jaw ticked as he seemed to try and work out a cunning remark or a rude response. But after a moment, he simply rolled his eyes and reached for the mug. You grinned proudly as he took a small sip, then went back for more.
“Told you,” you muttered, only grinning wider when he shot you a glower over the lip of the mug. “Hey, I’d still like some--” you reached for it when Loki didn’t stop, and he surrendered it with surprisingly little resistance.
“I could… make you a cup if you’d like?”
“That won’t be necessary,” Loki replied, but with a sense of gentleness. He gave you a hesitant smile.
You returned it with one of your own, then swirled the hot chocolate around in your mug before taking a sip. It was still warm and filled your stomach pleasantly. Without thinking, you passed the mug back to Loki. The god took it with a raised eyebrow, but he, too, seemed to relinquish all thoughts as he drank some more.
The two of you passed the mug back and forth until the last of the hot chocolate was gone.
“You make it better than I do,” you whispered, nodding to the empty mug. Loki glanced over at you, seemingly confused.
“I… don’t know whether to take that as a compliment or an insult,” he muttered, some of his characteristic humor returning. You snorted, picking up the mug and scooting back from the table.
He followed you with his eyes as you washed out the mug, setting it upside down on the drying rack. When you settled onto the stool next to him again, he was still watching you -- almost apprehensive about how much attention he was sending in your direction.
“I… don’t want to go back to my room,” you admitted, giving him a shy glance. “It’s weird, but… I just can’t.”
“No -- I, uh,” Loki cleared his throat, staring pointedly at the table. “I understand.”
The silence felt thick in the air as you hesitated to ask the question that had appeared on your tongue. When Loki finally looked up at you, eyebrows drawing together in hesitant anticipation, you found yourself asking it.
“What do you do, when…” you gestured vaguely to the kitchen. You wanted to know what he did when he couldn’t sleep. When he felt like he was losing his mind. When nothing felt real or even remotely okay.
As Loki watched you, you could see the wheels turning behind his eyes. And then, with a distant smile, he held out his hand.
“Come on,” he said as you placed your palm against his. “I’ll show you. But I’m afraid it’s a little underwhelming.”
“I don’t think you could ever be underwhelming, Loki,” you murmured, and he stopped to give you a strange look before leading you out into the hallway.
His ‘underwhelming’ way of dealing with his insomnia was… sitting in the common area and reading. There was a small bookshelf to the far right of the room, hidden away in a corner that was rarely visited by any of the other Avengers. Now that you thought of it, you don’t ever recall seeing Loki in this room during daylight hours.
“It’s quiet here, at night,” he said as if reading your mind. “I much prefer it to the alternative.”
“The alternative being you having to socialize?”
“You said it, darling, not me,” he returned with a smirk, and you settled down onto the couch.
Sighing, you pulled your legs up underneath you and patted the empty cushion. Loki drew back, grimacing a bit, but after seeming to consider it for a moment, he lowered himself next to you.
“This is kinda nice,” you admitted, leaning back against the cushion. You were so far beyond exhausted, you probably could have fallen asleep in a subway station or standing up in a broom closet like some vampire. Anywhere but your room, it seemed.
“Isn’t it?” Loki smiled softly, tilting his head to look over at you. He was so beautiful in the darkness. He was always beautiful, but there was something different about him when he was bathed in moonlight.
“Hey, uhm… thank you. For… all of this.” You fidgeted with the fabric of your pants, staring into your lap and hoping he somehow wouldn’t notice your blatant nervousness.
“You’re welcome, little mortal,” he replied and you smirked at the name.
As the minutes passed, you settled further and further into the couch. Loki made a book appear out of nowhere and began to flip through it. It wasn’t long before all traces of your anxiety were gone, replaced instead with a sort of calm that seemed to radiate around the god. Around the God of Mischief, no less. Irony at its finest -- but something you were very grateful for.
You don’t remember your socked feet brushing against Loki’s thigh as you got more comfortable. You didn’t see the look, the way he watched you and all your tiny shifts, little rearrangements. You don’t recall the exact moment that you drifted off to sleep, only the warm, content feeling that filled your limbs, settling comfortably in the cavity of your chest.
The next morning, the rest of the Avengers would wake up and go about their business, completely unaware of you and Loki in the common area, slumped into each other, fast asleep.
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lokisprettygirl · 2 years
Text
The Bodyguard (Loki x Female reader) (Au) (18+)
Read Chapter 17 here// Series Masterlist
Chapter 18
Summary : You wake up in the hospital and Loki is by your side.
Trigger Warning : Suicide, Rape, abuse, sexual violence, Harsh language, bodyshaming, fatshaming, mention of neglect and abuse, emotional abuse, Unhealthy Eating Patterns, blackmail, starving and under eating, implied smut, mention of drug use, some weird feeding kink I'm (loki is) developing
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He sat down next to your bed, they gave you medicine to bring the fever down and you had to be on the glucose drip again. You must not have eaten much in the last three days, he blamed himself for all of this entirely but he had sworn to himself that he will fix it and he'll earn your trust back into his life. 
His thumb rubbed over your skin as he held your hand in his, what you told him before you passed out was still haunting him. 
He read about the case before he came here and apparently the man that was supposed to kill you missed the mark, now he knew it must be on purpose. Instead of hitting you, the bodyguard you had at the time was shot in the arm. Even the hitmen have ethics about such work, he must have realized that it was you who hired him to kill you and hence he hesitated.
You groaned as you opened your eyes and found yourself in the familiar walls of the hospital. You looked at Loki, he had a small smile on his face but his eyes were full of tears. He got up from the chair, kissed your forehead and then he sat back down.
"Thank you for saving me, again" you mumbled softly and that only made him feel more guilty.
"What I said to you before I passed out..just ignore it..I was lying" you mumbled to him and he shook his head. For a moment you really thought you were going to die and for some reason instead of telling him that you love him, that's what you shared with him?
"No you are lying now darling, if we are going to continue having each other in our lives, you have to be honest with me okay?" he mumbled softly as he pressed a kiss on the back of your hand.
"Having each other? You want to be my friend again?" He caressed your head with one hand while other one linked with yours. Friend? he wasn't sure if he'd be content being just your friend anymore.
"I do not deserve it but yes I want to be your..friend again. Even more, I want to be who I was to you before I ruined it" your eyes teared up as he said that.
"Well I don't want to be your friend" he nodded as a painful look flashed around his features. He understood your anger, he has hurt you so badly after you shared such a trusting night with him. Night where you shared a part of your life and he distanced himself the next morning.
"I want to be more, what we had but more. I have feelings for you that I should have told you about, but I was scared of rejection and I didn't want to overwhelm you, I'm already too much as I am" you chuckled and he shook his head, a sense of relief washed over him, you wanted him still? He couldn't have been happier.
"You're not too much darling, you are perfectly enough. And I have feelings for you too, it didn't feel fair because I swore to myself that I'd never get my feelings involved in my work again but I didn't have to force it, it just happened and I don't regret it" he mumbled softly and you sniffled so he stood up and laid down next to you, his arm wrapped around your waist as he peppered soft little kisses on your cheek. 
"Why a Hitman?" He asked you and you took a deep breath. If he wanted you to be honest with him, honesty is what you will give him.
"I can't kill myself at the mansion, I have no means of doing it, after my mom hung herself my dad made sure that I won't do the same thing, he couldn't handle another scandal like that. I have nothing in my room, nothing I could use to hurt myself. Ropes, sharp objects, pills I could overdose on, the door of my balcony is welded shut, nothing in my reach that I could use to harm myself, except those vases which I have contemplated over several times in my head. I found out about Clint because of Steve, he's their main guy when they want to hurt someone. So I called him, pretended to be someone else, offered him shit ton of money and we decided on a date but he backed out at the last moment when he realized that it was me who hired him. He recognised my voice, even hitmen have a code of conduct but my family doesn't, isn't it funny?" you chuckled.
The way you just said all that with no emotion in your voice bothered him deeply but he wasn't going to give up on you again, he was going to pull you out of that mindset. He wanted to show you that life could get beautiful, full of love and care, he wanted to give you a life where you'd be taken care of and cherished the way you deserved. His grip on your waist tightened as he kissed your cheek again,
"Promise me you'd never take such a step again, no matter what happens, promise me that you'd come to me before you even think of hurting yourself" he whispered in your ear and you nodded.
"Okay but what if you leave again?" you sobbed like a child and he shook his head, 
"I won't leave, the only way I'd ever leave you again is if I was to die" you pressed your fingers on his lips as he said that.
"Don't say that, that is what scares me the most. That's why I can't take a step against them, they will hurt you and I can't lose you too Loki, that's what I meant that night but you misunderstood me" he nodded as you finally got through him. He can't allow his past to continue to affect his decisions. Just because Sameera broke him the way she did, that doesn't mean you will do the same thing to him. He's not Steve and you're not Sameera, you both need to understand that.
"I have a plan" 
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"She did look sick you know" Suzzanah said to Steve and he glared at her, making her eat rest of her words.
"So?? What's your point? The only reason I allowed her to go with him is so I could hurt her more later" Suzzanah rolled her eyes and she went back to scrolling on her Instagram feed.
Steve called Erik and asked him to go to the hospital with an instruction that he'd report everything back to him. 
As Erik knocked on your VIP hospital room, Loki sat up but he didn't get off the bed, Erik gave Loki a hug and it confused you greatly.
"How are you ma'am?" He asked you and you smiled. That's the first genuine smile he had seen on your face in the last three days.
"You guys know each other?" You asked Loki and he nodded.
"We have known each other for five years now" your mouth opened in realization and all he wanted to do was kiss you but that can wait. 
"So Steve wants me to report him the situation, what should I be saying?" Erik asked Loki so he thought about it as he bit on his cheek, he had to play his cards right, that's the only way he could defeat these powerful abusers. 
"Tell him that she woke up and we both are fighting a lot, tell him that I'm yelling at her for being just another irresponsible rich kid" he told Erik so he nodded and stepped out of the room. You furrowed your brows in confusion but then you remembered what you two talked about just now.
"When did you last eat?" He asked you and you smiled. He'd be so upset.
"Please don't make me answer" his eyes teared up but he didn't want to get upset with you, this was all his fault, he kissed your forehead and helped you get up from the bed, the doctor came and checked your vitals, when everything looked normal, he allowed you to leave. 
The paps were informed of your location so Loki took you out from the back where the car was waiting for you to take you back to the mansion. You could already imagine the headlines "Daughter of Rocky Y/l/n overdosed again?" Question mark because they have to protect themselves from being sued.
He made you sit down then he sat next to you .
"What's the one thing you want to eat right now?" You smiled as he asked you that, his fingers linked around yours and that made you feel so safe again.
"It's not very healthy" 
"It's okay we all can indulge from time to time" he tucked a stray strand of hair behind your ear and you bit on your lower lip as you thought about it. Every little thing you did just seemed so magical to him.
"Cheese burger, I haven't had it in years" 
"Years?" He furrowed his brows so you nodded, he asked Adrian to stop at the nearest fast food joint. If he was going to take care of you, he'd do it properly, and that began with you getting to eat whatever you craved.
"Lokii?" You called out to him as you placed your head down on his shoulder and he hummed.
"I am scared" 
"I know, I am scared too baby but we have to take this risk, okay?" You nodded as he said that. Someone was willing to fight for you and that terrified you because the last time a bodyguard tried to rescue a client in your family he paid with his life. That's what pushed your mom over the edge finally.
As the car stopped in front of a Burger King joint he stepped out and ordered a burger with some fries and coke, he also got chicken wings as a little apology. You squealed as you saw all the junk food, his heart swelled and eyes teared up as he noticed your excitement, it only took such a minute gesture for him to make you happy. 
"Imagine if I make a video and post it on my Instagram.. my dad will kill me for promoting junk. Who'd buy the fit tea they sell in my name once they see this?" You chuckled but it only hurt him to realize how controlled your life has been so far, he can't watch you rot yourself slowly like this. He'd get you out of here, with him being dead or Alive, he'd send you somewhere where you'll be safe and away from these horrible human beings.
You took a bite of the burger and closed your eyes as your taste buds relished the cheesy creamy flavor after so long, he couldn't stop staring at you as you put your head down on the backseat of the car. In that moment he knew that he loved you, that he was in love with you and you were the prettiest girl he had ever known in his life. 
"Ohh godd please eat with me" you mumbled so he picked up a fry and nibbled on it. Your little belly couldn't fit all that food in so he ate the rest, he stopped the car to throw out the evidence and then you both reached the mansion soon. 
"Okay look sad, as if we just fought" you scrunched your forehead and made your eyes tear up,
"Perfect little darling" he kissed your forehead as he smiled.
Erik was right behind you two so instead of Loki he escorted you in, he wanted to sell the act of you two fighting. He wanted Steve to believe that things were turning sour between you two.
As you stepped inside, Steve glared at you, 
"You don't look sick" he said to you and he watched Loki storm past you two.
"Awh did you fight with your new boyfriend?" you made your eyes tear up more and he chuckled in satisfaction.
"Rocky needs you" you heard Suzzanah's voice from behind him and he nodded, then he stepped out of the mansion to go see Rocky in the office, Suzzanah turned around to go to her room, she called a masseur to aid her aching muscles. Steve did give Erik a look before he left, he had no idea that Erik didn't work for him.
As you made your way towards your room you checked your phone and noticed the message Loki had sent you just now, but the first thing you did was change his name again.
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He smiled as he put the phone down, you were letting him in again and that too so quickly, especially after the day you have had, he never wanted to let you down again. 
He took a shower and changed, he put on a black t-shirt with a dark grey trouser then he took a stroll into the kitchen and hoped that he'd find what he was looking for. 
As he stepped inside your bedroom with a tray in his hand you sat up on the bed and smiled at him. This felt too comforting but you were also scared to get used to it again, he sat down on the edge of the bed and placed the tray next to you, 
You took the lid off the tray and found a bowl of strawberries and hot chocolate. It made you blush furiously.
"This was in my dream" you mumbled softly and he smiled, he picked up a piece of strawberry and swirled it around the chocolate to cover it properly. 
"I know darling " 
"You remembered it?" You asked him and he looked at you.
"How could I not? I will fulfill all your dreams or as many as I can" your eyes teared up at the softness his words held, you shuddered as he placed the berry over your mouth and the chocolate dribbled on your lower lip, it felt like deja vu 
"Don't hesitate baby, take it, you deserve it" he mumbled so you opened your mouth and bit on the fruit, the sweet flavor made you moan, he never thought he'd ever see a day when feeding a girl like this would turn him on so badly, the way your mouth moved and your eyes remained closed made him so hard for you, he wondered what kind of expression you'd bless him with once he's inside you in all the ways that he wanted to be, 
"More lokii feed me more please" and how could he not when you asked him like that?
He picked up another berry, covered it with chocolate and made you bite on it. The remnant of the fleshy fruit was too much for your sweet little mouth, and as he watched the juices dripping down from the corner of your lips, he just couldn't help himself. The dam broke.
That's when he brought your dream to completion as he latched his lips onto yours to kiss you. 
🖤💚🖤💚🖤💚🖤❤️🖤💚🖤💚🖤💚
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michelleleewise · 2 years
Text
Lost and Found
Pairing: Loki x reader
Warnings: swearing, all the fluff, smut, fluffy smut- its smuffy, that's a thing right? Lol
Sunmary: you had settled down with loki in yout new life, and couldn't be happier.
Epilogue-
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5 years later-
You washed your hands as you finished dinner. Turning everything off you went to the porch "guys, time for dinner!!" You yelled to the field. Seeing Loki wave you went back inside. Setting the plates down on the table as they came in. "Hey, Adam, you know you need to wash your hands first." You said looking at your son. "Yes mom." He said running to the bathroom. You felt Loki come up behind you, wrapping his long arms around your waist. "When are we going to work on our second?" He whispered in your ear. "Loki stop, he'll be back in a second." You said turning and slapping his chest. "I can't help what you do to me love." He said leaning down kissing you. You pulled back looking at him "behave...sir." whispering the last part as you felt his arms squeeze tighter. "All done!" Adam yelled coming back to the table. You pulled away from Loki winking as you sat and ate.
You were laying in bed reading as Loki came in, closing your door. "He's finally asleep, he didn't want me to stop reading to him." He laughed grabbing his pajamas. "Well you do have a beautiful voice." You said setting your book down, seeing a slight blush on his cheeks. He climbed in bed laying next to you "what were we talking about earlier, oh that's right." He said, leaning forward kissing you. You turned your head, deepening the kiss as his tongue ran across your lip. You opened your mouth, letting his tongue massage yours. His hand making its way to the hem of your shirt. You moaned in his mouth as he slid his hand up cupping your breast, running his thumb over your nipple. He broke the kiss, moving to your neck "I need you y/n, I need to feel you." He whispered nibbling your ear. "Take me.....sir." you whispered into his hair. You heard him growl as he moved on top of you, pulling your shirt off throwing it across the room.
He leaned down his tongue diving back into your mouth, you slid your hand into his hair as the other gripped his back, slowly moving to grip his cheek, pulling him into you. "Eager are we?" He laughed kissing down your neck towards your chest. "Loki please....." you sighed as he circled your nipple with his tongue. "Tell me what you need y/n." He said sucking it into his mouth. You moaned as you felt his other hand reaching your core, his fingers gently opening you up. "You.....I need you.....my king." You sighed moving your hips with his hand. "Anything for you love." He said getting up removing his pants, slowly pulling yours down. He climbed back up to you, spreading your knees, settling between them.
You both moaned as he slowly slid inside you. "Norns, you feel like heaven." He said resting his head on yours. "So do you." You sighed as he bottomed out, taking a minute to adjust. He leaned on his elbows kissing you deeply as he slowly started to move. You slid both hands down his back, he moaned into your mouth as you firmly grabbed his cheeks, pulling him into you. He rested his forehead on your as he pulled out and you pulled him back in. He adjusted his weight as his hand went to your hip, pulling it up towards him with every thrust. You felt him adjust his angle and start hitting that one spot in you that drove you over the top. Your breath mixed together as he titled his head kissing you again. You moaned he thrust particular hard, hitting that spot. "God Loki......I'm......" you tried but your brain couldn't form words as you felt the coil in your stomach tighten. "Come y/n, come for your king." He growled as he thrust harder. You looked into his eyes as you came, holding him tight to you. He followed right after, feeling him filling you up.
He stilled inside as you both panted, trying to catch your breath. You looked up at him smiled, his lips swollen, hair a mess, he was perfect. You reached up, brushing his hair away from his face as he smiled at you. "You are so beautiful y/n." He said rubbing his thumb on your cheek. He went to move but you grabbed onto him "no, not yet please. I want to feel you." You said looking at him. He settled back smiling at you. "May I ask you something love?" He asked looking at you. "Anything." You said running your fingers up and down his arms. "Well, you know how I told you my lifespan is longer then....yours." he said looking down. You nodded waiting. "Well, before I came back, my mother gave me something, that I want to give you." He said looking at you. "What is it?" You asked. He held put his hand as a green light shown from it and a small box appeared. "I'll never get tired of that." You smiled making him laugh.
"I want to spend eternity with you love, always and forever." He said handing it to you. You awkwardly opened the box, looking inside "you gave me an apple?" You asked looking confused. "It's not just and Apple, it's one of idunns apples." He said taking it out of the box handing to you. "Whose idunn, and why does she have golden apples?" You asked looking at it. "That's not the point, the point is, if you eat it, you'll live as long as me." He said cupping your cheek. "You gave me a magic apple? Good magic right, not like snow white where she.." you trailed off pretending to sleep. He laughed looking at you "Yes, Good magic. We can be together forever." He said smiling at you. You turned it in your hand looking at it. "What about Adam?" You asked looking at him. "When he is old enough to decide, he will have the same choice." He said looking at you. "I understand if you need to think it over, or don't want to, it's a big choice and.." you stopped his rambling by kissing him. Pulling back looking into his eyes, you took a bite. "It doesn't taste very good." You said swallowing. He laughed kissing you.
"Loki, I want nothing more then to spend eternity with you." You said finishing the apple. "Do I need to eat the core too, I will." You said laughing "no, that's not necessary" he laughed throwing it to the floor. You cupped his cheeks in your hands staring into his eyes "I love you Loki, I always will." You said smiling. "I love you more y/n, and I always will." He said leaning down kissing you.
💚💚 well, we reached the end. Thank you all ao much for reading, commenting, reblogging, all of that. You guys are amazing!!!! Love you all💚💚
@vbecker10 @lokisprettygirl22 @xorpsbane @123forgottherest @mcufan72 @daggers-and-mischief @cabingrlandrandomcrap @misswimberly @purplekitten30 @elenaysusneuras @usagishira @asgardianprincess1050 @mostly-marvel-musings @wannabemonsterfucker @hibernocaledonian @evansabove1981 @catalina712 @chaotics17 @lokiprompts @crystaldragonborne @el-zef @shesakillerkween @kat-nee @sinsandguilt @midnights-ramblings @storybrook-beck @stupidthoughtsinwriting @kat-nee
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Loki watched as the youngest Stark took to the dance floor. Thor had dragged him to this god-awful event that Tony had put on. The only person that Loki could put up with was you. You treated him like a normal person and not the most wanted criminal that he was. He had, over time, grown a fondness for you. Thor filled your glass up when you asked, you felt on top of the world. Thor whispered something in your ear and you looked up at him.  “Are you serious?” You whispered back, the blonde god just nodded. He walked back to his brother and tried to talk to him, but you noticed Loki’s only focus was on you. Loki watched you dance with Natasha, Clint and Thor, who proved Loki was right about his brother, he was a terrible dancer, two left feet. Your laughter was like music to his ears. Loki’s eyes locked with yours as you made you way over to him.  “May I have this dance Loki?” You held out your hand to him. “It is I who should be asking you that. but alas I have no reason to reject such a kind offer” His hand slid into yours, you noticed the chill.  Leading him to the dance floor, you smile as you navigated yourselves away from the prying eyes of Tony.  “What are you doing?” Loki asks curiously.  You smile, feeling the effects of the drinks you had not long-ago kick in. You felt brave enough to take this chance.  “I want us to have some privacy” You shrug your shoulders, finally making it to the darkest corner of the room, the music still playing loud but here you didn’t feel the need to yell over it. “Are you drunk Y/N?” Loki asks looking at you, you shake your head. “A little tipsy but fully in control of what I am about to do” You didn’t give Loki a chance to ask what that meant before your hand snaked around his head bringing his lips to meet yours. You waited for him to pull away, to protest but instead you were greeted with his arms wrapping around you tightly, pulling you closer. Loki growled as he deepens the kiss.  When you both finally pulled apart, you were breathless.  “I have been wanting to do that for so long Y/N” Loki says breaking the silence.  “Not as long as I have.” “Shall we continue this somewhere more private?” Loki asks, you smile and nod, within a blink you and Loki are in his chambers. ACROSS THE ROOM. Thor chuckles with Natasha as they watch you and Loki leave. Leaving behind a small green puff of smoke. “I win” Thor says gruffly, holding out his hand, Natasha slides a 50 dollar note into his open palm. “Don’t think Tony is going to like this.” She speaks. “Ah my brother is a good man. He will treat her well. Loki has had a crush on her for a while, I just had to give her a little push to get her to make the first move. If it wasn’t her, then he would have never done anything.” “What drink did you give Y.N? I have never seen her so brave when it comes to being drunk?” He reveals a small flask, “Only the best Asgardian liquor. 
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midguardianqueen · 5 months
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Requests have been open!
Send one shot ideas!
Requests will be closing Wednesday at midnight!
I write for
Loki
Bucky Barns
Dean Winchester
⚠️⚠️⚠️I do not write brother x brother or male x male (I don't feel comfortable doing that)⚠️⚠️⚠️
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cpcazey · 2 years
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Y/N:Should I kill off the characters in my book to make it more exciting.
Loki:What type of book is it?
Y/N:An autobiography.
(Loki and Y/N laugh)
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k-writer17 · 1 year
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You have the tower to yourself and decide to take a self care evening.
What will you do when you hear Thor and Loki in the kitchen and find out Loki has broken the one promise he has to you. The promise to stop him from going down the wrong path and dying?
Will this be the make or break of your relationship?
Find out ⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️
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daisybell17 · 3 months
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Protecting You — Loki
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Warnings: abusive & manipulative relationship, toxic relationship, abuse, physical violence, mentions of drinking, swearing, mentions of death, this fic mentions abuse in relationships so read with caution, and of course do NOT read if topics such as these make you uncomfortable or offended
WK: 4070 - Long fic ahead!
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Asgard is known to hold some of the greatest theatre plays in all the nine realms, Midgard being their current competitor in the industry. Nonetheless, you never stopped your passion to be an actor. So when your agent contacted you about a role in an Asgardian performance, you couldn’t pass this opportunity.
Loki, Prince of Asgard, too shared this passion in the art of acting and theatre. Performing since he was just a child, his talented ability to capture audiences and his co-stars never failed, making him a world or shall I say, realm class celebrity.
Thus on the first Monday of rehearsals, you had met not only your idol but your partner in the lead role.
“H-Hi! My name is Y/N…I’m from M-Midgard and h-honestly, all this still s-seems unreal to me…b-ut! It’s an honour to meet you Mr. Laufeyson!” For as awkward as the first meeting was, Loki chuckled at your response and shook your hand.
“Well it is lovely to meet you Y/N, and please, please! Call me Loki” His eyes seemingly piercing your own. God he knew you were gorgeous on the stage, but seeing you in person and this up close? you were the most incredible being he’s ever met
Your mind was running laps as you shook his hand. Loki Laufeyson was your co-star. You were performing on Asgard. This is a dream come true!
“Ok then! Loki…I look forward to these next couple months working alongside you. I’ve heard nothing but amazing things about the Prince of Asgard and the talent he brings to the stage…And I might be coming off too strong here but I am a bit of a fangirl myself when it comes to your work”
“Really now?! Well I could only thank you for watching my work, I truly love all this and just hope to bring my best foot onstage” Loki was grinning like an idiot, keeping his composure as you two conversed
“And you hit the spot every time! Your take on some Midgardian performances left me speechless! The Asgaridan version of Hamilton was one I didn’t expect much from and yet it delivered perfectly!” Loki couldn’t hold back his laughter and smiles as you praised his work. He found himself blushing a little at your words, dazzled by the praise you were feeding him.
“You are truly too kind darling, I’m just glad to bring some of Midgaridan works here to Asgard, the theatre Midgard has is more my style as compared to what majority of Asgardians like…gods this is why this play is a big leap for us, but I have seen your works in the romance side and I am certain we can execute this perfectly”
Your eyes lit up as he said this…Loki has seen your work?! More specifically your romantic trope stories?! You were speechless
“You have?! Wow! I am…You have no idea how much that means to me! I have to admit that this sounds like an ego boost but I do consider them my best performances”
“Nothing wrong about being proud of your best works and darling you put on quite a show! Most shows here on Asgard are focused around war, politics, kingdoms and royalty so a little romance here and there surely brings out the humanity in me”
You had smiled as his response, and you two continued on with your conversation, getting to know one another and the passion you shared for theatre. As the day went on, you both went over your lines, practicing the timing, the emotion, delivery and much more. It was obvious to you both that It’s as if these roles were made for you both. A forbidden love story between god and woman, both finding their own ways in this world together, all the while they were ridiculed by the universe. You loved your role, you loved your co-stars, you loved sharing the stage alongside the talented man himself Loki Laufeyson. Life on the stage is one you wouldn’t trade for anything…
Although…while you shined on the stage, it would be idiotic to not admit that the magic you felt onstage did not translate to your real life.
“That’s a wrap for today! I will see you all on Wednesday!” Just like that the day was over and you had to part ways with everyone.
Packing up your belongings, you could hear footsteps approaching and upon turning your back you were met with Loki
“Hey Y/N! It was great working with you today and I must admit you truly have talent like no other”
You blushed at his comment and shot him a quick “Thanks” and “You too”
“You going straight home?”
“Uhm Yea? I have to get dinner started and all” You replied, packing the last of your stuff up.
“Oh…I see I see…Well I was actually wond-”
“Y/N Are you still fucking in there?!” A voice boomed through the room
Your eyes went wide and you quickly swung your bag behind your back “I-Im sorry Loki but I really have to go…”
“I-Uhm yea okay…I just really wanted to ask if-”
Suddenly you saw your boyfriend walk in, clearly angry at something. Loki’s eyes immediately shot at his direction as he watched this angry and slightly intoxicated man burst inside and you running to him an small panic
“Honey! James, I told you that I was working late today! Why are you even here?!”
“Honey? James?” Loki felt both confused and sad.
“No?! You said you’d be done by 4! That’s why i’m here…what? My girlfriend doesn’t come home to the time she said she was and you expect me to not be pissed?!”
“Honey what are you even talking about?! I never said I was off at 4! I even texted you I’d be home by 7!”
“You’re a liar!” James shouted and you quickly shushed him as to not attract any attention
Loki stared at you two. First he felt sad and quite disappointed to find out you had a boyfriend…he’s never fallen for anyone this quickly but something about sharing the stage with him and the passion you both shared brought out this lovey dovey feeling he had deep down inside. And with this being the first of many meetings, he knew he was bound to fall for you further. Second he felt rage towards your pathetic boyfriend, the cursing?! the shouting?! his intoxicated rage towards you?! and the attempt at manipulation was just below pathetic. Loki despises assholes like him, but of course he couldn’t do much about it.
“You’re calling me the liar?! Check your phone! I texted you!” You whispered shouted as you smelled the alcohol reeking from him
“God James are you seriously drunk as well?! You’ve been drinking too much lately”
He scrambled for his phone and saw the text you sent, grumbling to himself, he hissed an looked at you “Whatever I didn’t read it so its still on you! And i’m sorry? Does my drinking pose a problem with you? You’re barley home anyways, out here performing and shit. God I thought this was just some hobby or some shit”
“James?! Are you serious right now?! For the hundredth time…this is my life! my passion! Don’t you dare try to say its just some hobby!”
“Seriously Y/N?! It is! I mean look at this! Its a fake production of a fake story with real people just projecting a fantasy! its pure bullshit!”
You grumbled in frustration “You know what if you seriously have a problem with it why are you even here with me? Why did you come to Asgard huh?! Why!”
Loki knew he wasn’t supposed to be listening, but he couldn’t help himself as you were both arguing quite loudly. He wanted to destroy that pathetic man
“To protect you of course! And…ugh are you really going to make me say it?
“What?!”
“Ok i know its all bullshit but your work is the exception because its you! and UGH yes its bullshit but you blow my mind away sometimes…and you NEED me to protect you…I dont know who might steal your heart here on Asgard?”
“…mhm mhm…Ok can we just go home please?” You asked feeling both hurt but ok at best
“Yes we can go” James said and grabbed you harshly to the exit
You turned at Loki and waved a quick goodbye and mouthed “Im sorry” and walked away…Loki was beyond furious that poor excuse of a man could treat you that way. Calling theatre and acting bullshit?! Bringing your passions down?! Grabbing you in that manner? God it revolted him. You deserved better…so much better, but alas it wasn’t any of Loki’s business nor could he do anything much about it.
Loki never questioned you about that day, seeing as it was something quite personal to share, but he did ask you if you had a boyfriend and how long you two were together. He wasn’t quite happy to hear you’ve had to deal with this man for 2 years now. James would show up to pick you up after every session, either drunk, pissed, in no mood at all, or just being annoyed but he sweet talked his way to make you go home with him each time…even though, deep down inside it was like you were drowning, there were parts of you that were screaming to leave him but you just couldn’t, he was all you had. The most you could do is fantasies and take the small wins, even though you craved more, even though your soul craved better…Oh the guilt you felt when you saw Loki interacting with another co-start…you wished it was you…but- wait, why the hell am i even thinking that?! I have a boyfriend for god sakes! and Loki is just my co-star! Stop it Y/N.
The weeks went on and you and Loki continued to work together onstage. Offstage the both of you got to know one another better and because of this the more he fell for you, for someone he couldn’t be with. He was amazed by you. By your passion, your personality, your kindness…everything…and he knows better than to fall for his co-star but you were the breaker to his rule.
He couldn’t put into words just how amazing you are. Like a blast of energy that you couldn’t contain, just filled with so much drive, passion and life and he hated to admit that this became a small factor to motivate him everyday. To see you, to talk to you, gosh it was like he was a teenager again, eager to see his crush at school, but this was much different.
Although this one week, when you came in for the day, Loki had greeted you as usual, asking how things were or how you were liking Asgard and you gave a half-hearted reply, brushing him off almost entirely and you sat in the corner of the room, going over your lines on your own. Odd behaviour that Loki wasn’t used to and he was split between asking if you were ok or to leave it as is. This didn’t affect your performance onstage but it affected Loki. He didn’t like seeing you this way, and when James came in to pick you up that day, he made sure to stick with you as you both waited. That same week you came in looking worse and Loki decided to finally ask what was wrong, but you shot him down, not really wanting to talk about the horrible comments James had thrown at you last night about you, your career, your cooking or the fact he even threw the glass vase at your wall, sending glass flying and cutting your arm, though that was a scar you could hide. Loki didn’t push you on it anymore but he did request if they could finish earlier today.
“I think we should end a little early today seeing as you all have been working hard these past couple weeks. See you all on Friday!”
You were surprised to finish early today, but I guess it meant you had more time working on dinner. So you packed up and got ready to leave when Loki stopped you
“Y/N…I was wondering if maybe you’d like a cup of coffee before you go home for the day seeing as we finished earlier than usual”
“I uh..hmm” You thought about it, go home to James and cook earlier…or go with coffee with Loki…After last night you needed a break
“Ah why the hell not…coffee and….macaroons?” You asked in hopes to try of Asgardian pastries
“Coffee and macaroons it is! I know a great place near here, ran by a good family friend of mine, im sure you’ll like it”
“Can’t wait to try it” You smiled and let Loki lead the way to this mystery cafe.
Upon reaching the place, you were greeted to a busy yet lively scene. Calling this place beautiful would be underselling it.
“I’ll order us both a latte and grab one macaroon of each flavour, how’s that sound?”
“That sounds great” You smiled and reached for your wallet. “I’ll cover half, how much do I owe you?”
Loki’s faced contorted in confusion “W-What? Y/N!” He chuckled “It’s ok I got it! Treat is on me” He smiled
“What?! No no please! I can’t let you pay for all that! Please let me pay half”
“Nonsense this is on me, that’s final” Loki smiled “Its okay I promise, you deserve a treat, well I guess we do after the work these past weeks”
You sigh and accept his offer “Ok well…Thank you, you are too kind Loki…But next time we get a treat it’ll be on me ok?”
Next time. Ah so there would be a next time. Loki grinned at the thought…although reality snapped him back when he remembered your boyfriend “Hmmm, I would still treat you next time…but if you insist, next time you’ll treat us”
You nodded and Loki went and got the coffee and macaroons.
He came back with your treats and…they were the best damn macaroons you’ve had in your life
“Holy shit these are delicious! There has to be actual magic in these…amazing! amazing!”
Loki watched as you ate the sweet treats “Told you I knew a place and if you must know, they don’t have magic, just made with love”
You laughed “Ah yes…Love! Ok but seriously I need to bring a tray of these when I go back to Midgard, just one big tray of em all for me”
“You know I could do that for you? Perhaps we can share…if you are willing”
“Share?! Never! the imaginary tray of macaroons is mine only hehe” You smiled “okay maybe you can have one”
“Just one?!” Loki said in a dramatic tone “So you get a whole tray and I get one?!”
“Yes! One!” You laughed “I’’m so kind I know”
“Sure…sooooo kind! Y/N gives Loki ONE macaroon!” He teased…He wished you could both stay like this forever
As you were both enjoying each other company and the nature around you, James had spotted you as he was too on a coffee run and approached you both
“Y/N?! The hell you doing here?! I thought you were at work?!”
“Oh! H-Honey we just finished early today and L-Loki here invited me for some coffee and macaroons…I hope that’s alright by you”
“You should have told me first…or why didn’t you go home and start with dinner?”
“I uh…i’m sorry it slipped my mind and I was t-thinking…we could just…take out some dinner?”
“Y/N you’re better than this! I need to know where you are…and yea whatever we can get dinner out”
Loki sat there feeling awkward and so quickly cut the silence by introducing himself “Hi I am uh Loki…co-stars with Y/N…she’s told me about you James…uh nice to meet you”
Confused by this, James hesitantly shook his hand “Uh nice to meet you Loki…i guess…So what has Y/N said about me?”
“Uh…you both have been dating 2 years…and..yea..” Loki replied awkwardly
You watched James expression and you knew having these two meet was a horrible idea…but not much you can do now.
The two continued their VERY awkward conversation and soon James pulled you up and demanded you both went home
“Uhm…See you on Friday Loki” You say as James dragged you off
“Uh See you…” Loki was fuming…
Friday came around and one again your demeanour had shifted. You were shut off, closed, awkward and of course Loki noticed this. This wasn’t the real you, the you he had coffee and macaroons with…he was worried…he knew you deserved better, he knew he could treat you 100 times better. God he wished he could be yours…he would love you so much more than any other being. The day went so-so and Loki had waved you goodbye…all he looked forward to was the next week in which he could see you again…
So when you unexpectedly did not turn up the following week for practice, he was sad, but from his sadness quickly grew concern after seeing the nature of your boyfriend and how he treated you. He couldn’t focus the entire day, worried about what happened to you or if you were ok. Once the day was over, he quickly rushed to the nearest restaurant and bought some takeout for you to have, in case you had just come down with some sort of flu.
Approaching your temporary living space he immediately heard screaming from none other than James. Loki dropped the food at the doorstep and peaked through the window. He could only see James’s face as your back was facing the window. Loki couldn’t grasp the focus of the argument as James was mainly throwing horrible insults at you
“You bitch are you serious?! Why do you alway lie to me? After all I have done for you?! For us to get here!”
“James…its called ACTING! do i have to explain myself all the damn time?! And you better stop calling me a liar, I told you about the play, about the theme, about the scenes…and It’s fine its just acting…”
“Are you being fucking for real?! Are you serious now Y/N?! You expect me to believe that you’re telling the truth right now?! That these so called scenes weren’t just written in after you said yes to this?! God why couldn’t they just cast a single woman? Not someone with a boyfriend?!”
“BECAUSE JAMES IT WAS OFFERED TO ME! Because I have talent! I have passion! I am a performer, have been all my life! Sorry they casted me! Sorry they casted a woman in a relationship but its not like I can do anything about it?! Nothing is ever enough in your eyes and I don’t even know why I care for your opinion!”
“YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO CARE I AM YOUR BOYFRIEND AND I AM NOT LETTING YOU GO WITH THIS PROJECT ANY FURTHER”
“WHAT NO?! you cant control my life like that asshole?!”
“THE FUCK DID YOU JUST CALL ME??? Y/N I DONT CONTROL YOUR LIFE BUT IM SURE AS HELL GONNA STOP YOU FROM ALL THE STUPIDITY YOUR DOING” James approached you, backing you up against the wall
“James! JAMES! STOP IT” He raised his hand over you
Loki’s eyes shot wide, accidentally knocking on the window and immediately James’s attention went to the window “HEY WHO THE HELL IS THERE?!” Loki scrammed immediately, leaving you and James to your own business.
After that incident he knew he has to something about it, he wasn’t going to watch as you get hurt by that horrible man.
You came in for the next practice session…with James which threw off everyone but instead of greeting your cast mates or even Loki, you darted straight to the hair and makeup station. Loki saw you zoom by and immediately tried to catch up with you, which only increased your walking speed, practically jogging at this point. James locked the door to the station and you ignored Loki completely. Passing conversations can be heard from you both…although Loki no longer cared, he was worried for you, he couldn’t stand the thought of what your bastard of a boyfriend could have done to you and so he forced himself in.
“Loki?! What the hell you broke the lock!” You say in shock with James sharing the same reaction as you
“I know but I can’t stand this anymore!” He marched towards you and went to grab your shoulders in an attempt for a hug, causing you to flinch and move back. Thrown off, Loki looked at you confused and “Y/N your face…” Loki got a real good look at the bruise on your arm, cheek, and neck��
Loki looked at you, then at James, and clicked.
“YOU BASTARD!” Loki launched at James
“HEY! HEY! HEY!” James shouted, blocking Loki’s hands and body
“What the hell did you do asshole? You did that? YOU hurt her?!” Loki managed to push past James’s block and locked his godly hands and arms onto his shoulder, gripping on so tight it caused your boyfriend to flinch and squirm in pain
“Hey man let me-”
”NO!” Using his magic, Loki blasted James against the wall, causing his body to shake as he fell to the ground “The hell is wrong with you?!” he screamed
“ME?! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!” Loki approached him and placed his foot on his chest, letting his entire body weight shift to his foot.
“Ow! Jeez!”
“You know I don’t care who you are, I don’t care that you’re dating Y/N, you pathetic little man I will ruin your life for touching her, I will end your stupid, worthless, pathetic little existence for what you did to her! You understand me?! There is a special place in Hel for assholes like you! Bastards that think hitting, cursing and treating their partners like shit is even ok!”
“Loki stop it!” You shouted
He ignored you and grabbed James’s face “You ever come back here, you ever even think about seeing her again, or so help me god even think about laying another finger on her, I will snap your body like a twig and make sure you suffer a long…painful…demise” he growled
You saw all this happening and while you were terrified, part of you felt relief…it was over…it was finally over….right?
James struggled against Loki’s grasp, Loki looked like he was actually going to end him
“Loki look at me!” you shouted
He immediately did and saw your eyes, he saw that as much as James was an asshole…you didn’t want Loki to actually kill him
Loki looked back at James and let him go “This is your only chance to go…SCRAM”
And just like that James ran out, leaving your life for good
You and Loki stood there in awkward silence
“Loki?” You whispered
He immediately looked at you “Y/N!” He ran towards you, about to bring you to an embrace but remembering you were probably not comfortable at the moment “Are you ok…?”
“Not…really…but better” You admitted “Thank you…” You smiled at him.
“Of course…I-I couldn’t go on just working with you knowing or not knowing what was happening…I’m just glad you don’t have to deal with that asshole anymore…right?”
“Yea…its over…after yesterday…I knew we were through, I just didn’t know how to end it…so thank you…so so so much…You’ve done more for me than most people have about all this…” You hugged him as tears fell from your eyes
He hugged you back carefully as to not startle you “I love you to much to see you like this” Loki blurted. Uh shit?! Not the time?!
“You love me?” You pulled away and asked
Loki went red at your question “I-I Uh…yea? I do…I do love you…look I know were just co-stars and hell you just went through such a shitty thing and this is the worst way to say it but yes I love you…a lot” he fumbled at his words
You smiled at him “Despite everything…and I wont lie… but I love you too”
You both embraced each other as you felt the safety of his love and his arms
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(a/n): this took awhile for me to get out bc tbh i dont really know how to write a story like this...very well...but either way i got through it! hope you enjoyed and james is an asshole
TAGS: @jennaortegaswifeyy
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last-herondale · 8 months
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We Could Have Been Everything
Loki x FemReader
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Warnings: Cursing, heartbreak, lying
This is angst. Pure heart break 💔 I apologize in advance.
A/N: i had this idea of a scene where y/n is just utterly heart broken by Loki but she refuses to let him have the last word.
Enjoy…? 🤘🏼
Masterlist
It was pouring buckets outside. This planet was known for its constant downpours and thunderstorms. Loki figured it was as good as any place to lay low for a bit. He had messed up, as he always seemed to do. Pissed off the wrong people, made enemies on the wrong planet. All of that he could handle with grace and finesse, but there was one monumental hiccup that he never expected.
You.
He sat alone at a small diner, staring down at a cup of what he hoped was coffee, but with this planet he couldn’t be sure. He had been jumping around from planet to planet for months now, hoping for one of these spots to be promising for a new home. But he was always disappointed. Every place seemed to be missing something. He amazed himself by how nitpicky he could be, even in this time of uncertainty.
But he knew what was missing, or rather who was missing. But he pushed those thoughts far from his mind. He made his decision. It was for the best, at least that was what he had tried to convince to himself. Leaving you behind on Earth was the hardest thing he ever had to do—but he had to do it.
The image of you flashed in his memory as it always did. He sighed and pushed his mug away as he put a few local currency on the table and left. He didn’t bother with an umbrella, he could always use his magic to make himself dry later. Right now he wanted to feel the cold, fat rain drops hit his skin. He wanted to feel anything but what he had felt the last few months.
As he made his way through the streets towards his rented room, the sky turned a dark grey as the sun dipped low in the horizon. The streets were quiet— nearly silent compared to the traffic on Earth. Loki had come to miss the constant roar of traffic in New York. He missed watching you stir at the sound of sirens, tangling the sheets under your legs and your rested your head on his chest.
The feel of your bare skin on his. The scent of you—
Loki was knocked back by a strong force that took him completely by surprise. He landed on his ass, his pants soaked from the impact. He looked up with a murderous rage, his eyes glowing green as he saw a figure before him. He pulled back his upper lip in a snarl, his mouth ready to yell out all of the worst profanities—but the figure stepped closer and the outline became horrifically recognizable.
His expression went slack.
“Y/n?”
You glared down at him, your hair was wet and it clung to your face. Every inch of you was soaked from the rain, but your body was burning with rage as you looked down at him. He scrambled up, his expression in utter shock from seeing you here.
“How? What are you—“ you slapped him hard across the face. Your hand stung from the impact but you kept your composure as he looked at you with shock, one hand holding his cheek.
“Do you really think that you are in any position to ask questions?” You hissed, jabbing a finger at his chest. Words seemed to fail him. He wanted to explain himself, to explain why he left— but he was too happy to see you again. Even if you seemed dead sent on beating him to death, he could not hide the spark of hope that ignited in his chest.
“Just…let me explain -“
“FUCK. YOU!” You yelled at him. He flinched at your words but shut his mouth as you continued to yell. “You leave me a letter— a fucking note, Loki! Is that all I get? After everything? The best I get is a fucking sticky note?!”
Loki bit his lip. He remembers the words he wrote clear as day.
I’m not good for you. Please Forgive me.
It was not one of his prouder moments, but he knew that if he lingered to long on what he needed to say, he would never be able to leave you.
“And then you just leave? Like a fucking coward— you skip town?? Try to hide in this shithole system? Do you really think it’s that easy for a god to disappear, you piece of shit? Did you think it was okay to have me worried sick for months not knowing whether you were alive or dead? Did I really mean so little to you?”
“You meant everything to me!” Loki shouted. He took a step closer to you but you kept your finger jabbed against him to keep his distance. He frantically searched your eyes, feeling his tears bead on his face.
“I had to leave—don’t you understand? Everywhere I go, I make a mess of things. Always running—always fighting. That’s not a life I wanted for you.”
“That was not your choice to make!” You yelled. You pushed your hand away from him and began to pace the sidewalk a bit as you threw your hands up in exasperation. You turned back to look at him, your eyes a mixture of anger and sadness.
“You do not get to come into my life like this—make me feel this way for you—make me fall so in love with you—that I can’t breathe when you are away from me“ your voice shook as you said this. Tears rolled down Loki’s face and they mixed with the rain.
“You don’t get to decide what I want my life to be. I wanted to be with you. I wanted to be the one that was there with you every step of the way—no matter what may happen. You made me want that. You made me want it all— then you just fucking ripped it all away.”
Loki looked absolutely defeated. He took a step closer to you, waiting for you to push him away. He deserved it, he knew. Everything you said was right, and it killed him inside. You didn’t flinch from him, and he took a few more steps until he was inches away. He watched a few drops of rain fall from your face, getting caught up in the beauty of you.
“I’m sorry— I’m so sorry, my love. I never wanted to hurt you, I just needed— to protect you.” He said in a low whisper. His throat was raspy with emotion as he looked into your eyes. “Im not worthy of you.”
Your eyes softened a bit at his words. You leaned in a bit, and Loki caught the scent of your perfume and inhaled like an addict. How he longed for you these past months. He thought you might kiss him, hit him again, whatever. He would let you do it to him willingly.
You stopped until your foreheads were touching. The two of you savored the contact for a minute before you spoke. “I believed in us. I believed that we could do anything together— be anyone we wanted to be, together. I had hope—so much hope and love for us, Loki.”
“And now?” Loki asked quietly.
You shivered once, not because of the cold or the rain. You broke apart from him, watching his face fall as you took a step back from him. Your heart ached, as it had for the past few months in thunderous waves of pain.
“Now I don’t believe in anything.” You said flatly.
Loki felt his chest deflate as his heart shattered. “Y/n-“ he tried to beg before you cut him off.
“I just came to make sure you were alive. Nothing more. I know I shouldn’t, since You’ve made it clear how much you care, but what can I say, old habits are hard to break.” You said bitterly. You let yourself take one last look at Loki, seeing him so disheveled broke your heart. You finally looked away from him.
“Goodbye, Loki.”
He called your name loudly as you disappeared without a trace. He fell to his knees sobbing, clutching his chest as if his heart didn’t just evaporate from his body.
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lovemeblueblog · 2 years
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hello all. i might post an old (unfinished) fanfiction about loki that i really like. maybe some of you will enjoy it too. <3
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chickenfics · 2 years
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Security Blanket
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Relationship: Loki x GN!reader (SFW)
Summary: The reader can’t sleep thanks to a true crime podcast. In their anxiety, they seek out comfort from a certain God of Mischief
Word count: 2.2k
Content warning: Okay, so, this isn't a heavy fic by any means, but it does contain discussions around true crime, murder, and what could maybe be considered home invasion. If that will make you uncomfortable in any way, I would suggest maybe skipping this one. Instead, I can offer you The Best Medicine which is a similar story, but without the murder bits
Masterlist   Also on ao3
You wrung your hands together, groaning softly before dragging them over your face. It was nearing midnight. You’d tucked into bed hours ago, and still sleep hadn’t come. Though, whose fault was that?
Yours. It was definitely yours.
When would you learn to stop listening to true crime podcasts before bed? Or reading scary stories that you were ‘sure you could handle’ because ‘they’re not that scary.’ When would you learn that your anxiety would use any excuse it could get -- even if the chances of you being abducted and murdered by a serial killer was one in several thousand?
When would you learn your lesson? Not tonight, apparently.
Because you had done just that, and now it was five past twelve and you were still awake, had checked that your window was locked three separate times, and was wondering how easy it would be for someone to break into the compound.
It was ridiculous, really. Thanks to Tony, the building you were fortunate enough to call home was probably the safest place you could ever be -- especially considering who your neighbors were. You suspected that if a murderer even did manage to infiltrate Stark’s million-dollar security system, the likelihood of them getting past two super soldiers, men with fancy suits, an assassin, and a few supernatural beings was… pretty damn slim.
So why did you feel so afraid?
Your heart was racing in your chest, and you could feel the edges of your body floating away from you, out into the darkness of your room as you tried to listen for the smallest of sounds. But of course anticipating them made your blood run cold at things you weren’t even sure you'd heard.
Throwing your head back into your pillow with exhausted annoyance, you groaned again. You weren’t going to get any sleep at this rate. You’d be lucky if you didn’t wind up having an anxiety attack. Really, when would you learn? No true crime cases after dinner.
Feeling tears of frustration prick against your eyes, you dragged yourself to your feet. Were you really going to do this?
“Whenever you need me, darling,” the voice echoed in your head. “You know where to look.”
A feeling of dread settled in the pit of your stomach. Dread and guilt. But you could also feel your nerves fraying at the edges, and he had said whenever you needed him. If he’d actually meant it, well… you were about to find out.
Grabbing the blanket from off of your bed, you wrapped it snugly around your head and shoulders, pulling it closed just beneath your chin. You felt ridiculous but couldn’t find it in yourself to care. You were too exhausted for that.
Slinking up to your door, you cautiously clicked it open. The hallway stretched on either side of your room, dark and looming like a gaping mouth. You felt your heartbeat flutter and swallowed hard.
Stepping out into the abyss -- really just the hallway -- you tugged your blanket closer and turned left, making a hasty beeline for the room four doors away, sending endless thanks out into the universe that he was close. You weren’t sure what you’d do if you had to venture to the whole other end of the compound.
But you didn’t have to wonder because soon enough you were standing outside his door. You would have turned around and left, giving in to that feeling of guilt at the very thought of waking him up, but your brain was pulsing with anxiety. At this point you weren’t even sure what you were worried about, you’d gotten so ahead of yourself.
So, taking a deep, trembling breath, you knocked twice. It sounded so loud in the silence of the night that it nearly made you jump.
When the door abruptly opened, you did jump.
“Oh dear,” Loki mumbled, tilting his head as he took in the state of you. His hair was ruffled, curls furling out in a bedhead so beautiful it was practically a crime. He had obviously been sleeping, and that guilt inside you grew.
“I am so sorry.”
Loki simply raised an eyebrow, stepping aside and swinging the door open further to let you in. You hesitated for only a moment before entering. Almost instantly the dread that had been gripping you in a chokehold all but drained away, allowing you to breathe again.
“Did Wilson talk you into another horror movie? I told him to stop doing that.”
You shook your head, and he swung the door shut.
“True crime podcast,” you managed, your voice only trembling a little. “This guy would break into people's houses while they were away and then hide in their attics so he could murder them in their sleep, or whatever.”
Loki pulled a face, something between a wince and a look of disgust.
“That’s…. distasteful.”
“Yeah.”
You stood there in silence, then, and shifted from one foot to the other.
“What if they didn’t have an attic?” Loki suddenly asked.
“What?”
“The people whose houses he broke into. What if they didn’t have an attic?”
“I… don’t know,” you muttered, then gave a hoarse, wobbly laugh. God, you were so tired. You rubbed your forehead, staring at the ground.
“It’s really got you, hasn’t it?” Loki seemed to realize, and when you nodded, eyes still glued shamefully to the ground, his demeanor shifted in an instant.
“Alright, it’s alright,” he murmured, stepping closer to you.
Your arms were crossed tightly around yourself. Loki held out a slender, pale hand. After a moment, you accepted it, laying your own hand against his soft palm.
“It honestly didn’t freak me out, but then my anxiety started acting up and I couldn’t stop thinking about it, and…” you took a shuddering breath and tried not to burst into tears.
“Alright, you’re alright,” Loki softly assured, rubbing his thumb across the back of your hand. Then, a bit awkwardly he asked, “Is… this one of those times I should offer you a hug? I never can tell…”
You thought for a beat, then nodded. You still hadn’t lifted your eyes from the floor, and Loki hooked a finger beneath your chin, gently lifting your face until you were staring into his ocean-green eyes. They were unusually soft in that way they always got when you were together.
Giving you a quick smile and a reassuring wink, he pulled you into his chest, tugging you close and leaning over you like he wanted to swallow you whole. Like he wanted to keep you safe from the whole world.
“I don’t think you need to worry, love,” he eventually spoke up. “After all, we haven’t got an attic.”
At that, you burst out laughing, the sound of it muffled against his shirt. You felt his chuckle against your skin as it rumbled through his chest, and his hand slid up between your shoulder blades.
“And anyhow,” he continued. “Even if an intruder did manage to make their way into this miserable fortress Stark has created, they would be dead before they even had a chance to lay a finger on you. I’d make sure of it.”
You inhaled deeply through your nose, filling your lungs with Loki’s familiar scent. One of peppermint and pine, and that lavender shampoo he claimed he didn't use.
“I know,” you whispered into his shirt. “My brain’s just being dumb--”
“Uh-uh, absolutely not. That beautiful brain of yours is not dumb,” he firmly insisted. “Though, perhaps you should rethink your pre-bedtime entertainment.”
He had you laughing again, and you wrapped your arms tighter around him for it.
“Thank you, Loki. And I’m sorry I woke you up.”
“Never apologize, my darling,” he rubbed another hand up your back.
“Can I… can I stay here, tonight?” You sheepishly asked, voice sounding small. You really didn't want to be alone right now, with your mind running rampant and creating monsters out of shadows and creaks.
“As if I’d allow you to leave,” Loki scoffed, grabbing your legs and hoisting you into his arms, blanket and all. “There might be a murder in our attic, I can’t let you wander the compound unprotected.”
“Loki,” you groaned as he carried you towards the bed. But his teasing didn’t make you more anxious like it might have -- like it would have if it was anyone else -- because you knew that he really did mean to protect you. And, as silly as that was, it made you feel better.
He tossed you gently onto the bed. Grabbing your blanket, he wrapped it firmly around you until he’d effectively cocooned you inside it.
“There,” he announced, tapping your nose. “My precious little mortal.”
You huffed, rolling your eyes, but you couldn’t have denied the grin that spread across your face. A grin that only widened as he crawled in next to you, pulling his own blanket over the both of you. You didn’t miss how he’d put you next to the wall -- how he’d positioned himself between you and the door.
“Rest assured, love, no one will harm you tonight.”
You groaned again, more out of embarrassment than anything, and buried your face in your blanket burrito.
“No,” you peeped, agreeing. “Not when there’s a very strong, very dashing god here to protect me from any serial murderers…”
Maybe it was because you were hiding your face already. Maybe it was because you were so tired, or half-giddy with relief now that the adrenaline had fled your body. Maybe that was why your tongue had gone loose and you’d let yourself gush about how amazing Loki was.
But when you peeked out to find him blushing furiously, his usually pale skin tinged pink at the ears, you realized that Loki needed to hear it. Wiggling yourself sideways, you looked adamantly at him, determined to make him listen. You waited until he looked at you with a mix of dread and annoyance before continuing.
“Thank you for looking after me. You’re the best there ever was.”
“Stop it,” Loki insisted, glancing sideways before reluctantly meeting your eye again.
“I mean it.”
“You’re delusional with fright.”
“No,” you insisted, and you would have smacked his arm had you not been burritoed up. “You’re lovely and strong and amazing -- my hero.”
Now it was Loki’s turn to groan, but you could see his jaw twitch as he fought a smile.
“You live in a building full of actual heroes, and yet you come to me when you're afraid. You know I’ve surely killed more people than that man who hides in attics?”
He wasn’t trying to scare you, you could tell. It was more of a friendly -- and very confused -- warning. That was fine, you could understand for the both of you.
“I already told you, Loki, I come to you because you look after me. And I’m fully aware of your past, thank you very much. Nothing will change the way that  I feel safe with you.”
Loki stilled, eyebrows knitting together ever so slightly as he sought for something in your face. You could see the conflict behind his eyes -- he probably wanted to tell you how foolish that was, how you shouldn’t feel safe with a monster like him, but yet, he didn’t.
“Besides,” you continued, hating the way he looked so… broken. “You never lurked in anybody’s attics waiting to brutally murder them in their sleep.”
It did the trick and Loki laughed, short and breathy.
“No,” he tilted his head. “No, I suppose I didn’t. That’s too… slimy -- even for me.”
You smiled, feeling your eyelids grow heavy. When you let out a content sigh, Loki looked at you with eyes full of tenderness. Hesitantly, he reached out and began to fiddle with the edge of your blanket.
“Feeling better?”
“Yes,” you blushed, snuggling further into your cocoon.
“Good. I hate to see you so tense.”
“Awwe,” you sighed, scrunching your nose at him.
He rolled his eyes and covered your face with his hand, but you could hear him laughing softly.
Once you'd fallen still again, he very slowly removed his hand. Peering back up at him, your breath caught as he traced a finger along your cheekbone before hovering just above your skin.
It was a bit of a struggle, and required a fair amount of squirming, but you managed to wrangle your hand out of the blanket. Lifting it halfway, you let the tip of your finger brush his. He froze, his hand stilling, and you couldn’t stop yourself. Your touch trailed down to his knuckle, and your middle finger lightly grazed his pinky.
He scoffed like he couldn’t believe what you were doing, and definitely couldn’t understand why. Furrowing his brows, he reached forward and softly poked your cheek, letting his fingertips rest against your jaw for only a moment before pulling away.
“You baffle me sometimes, you know that?” he whispered. “But… I’m glad you came.”
Your face split into a grin, and you had just opened your mouth when Loki interrupted you.
“Ah-ah, don’t say anything,” he waved his finger through the air like he might press it to your lips. “Just… sleep, alright? You can continue baffling me in the morning.”
You snorted, tracing a line down his wrist as you dropped your hand onto the bed.
“Alright fine.”
As if on cue, you yawned loudly. Loki chuckled, tugging the blanket tighter around you. There was no possibility of escape now.
You’d never slept so well in your life.
And though there were no serial killers hiding in the compound's nonexistent attic, Loki still wrapped his arm protectively around your waist.
Just in case, he told himself.
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woobifiedvillain · 8 months
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Big fan of characters realizing they don't get to die. They have to live. And grow. And be a person. And deal with shit they thought they'd never have to. And be fucked up about it. I would like more of this. Enough dying for honor or as redemption. It ain't. You're just a corpse. There is no moral value in dirt time.
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michelleleewise · 2 years
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Marry me...
Pairing: Loki x avenger reader
Warnings: mentions of alcohol, depression, swearing, self esteem issues.
Summary: you and loki had only been together for a couple of years, but you knew you loved him with everything in you, so you decided to ask the question.
*Loki and reader established relationship, fluff to angst. Angst with happy ending. This is my first one shot, sorry if it's terrible lol and as always, thanks for reading!! 💚💚💚
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You remember when Loki joined the team, dragged along by his brother Thor. The first time you met him, it was love at first site, not so much for him. Thor brought him into the common room, introducing him to everyone, you couldn't help but stare. His long raven locks sitting just below his shoulders, curling at the ends, you wanted to touch it. His emerald eyes that could read your soul, the way he carried himself with an heir of confidence. "Ah y/n, this is my brother Loki, Loki this is y/n." Thor had said introducing you. You held your hand out and smiled, but he crossed his arms and glared. "Brother, must I dwell with these.......mortals?" He asked looking at you. As soon as he spoke you were done for, his voice like honey to your ears. He was like a drug you needed more of.
Slowly you had broken his walls down. It took time, but you were patient. Sending him smiles when you saw him, making tea for him when you made yours, you were determined to pry your way into his heart. A few months into him being there he had pulled you aside "y/n, I was wondering if......possibly if you wanted to.......maybe..." he fidgeted with his hands. His shyness making you smile. You walked over grabbing his hands looking at him, he sighed looking at you "y/n, could I court you?" He had asked and you couldn't have been happier, jumping into his arms "yes!" You yelled, grabbing a few glances from your team mates as you smiled at eachother. You smiled at the memories as you walked through the shop, picking out the perfect gift. It was your anniversary, and had the perfect evening planned. You loved him entirely and only ever wanted to be with him, and It was time to show him.
You sat across from Loki at the resteraunt. Him wearing his all black suit you wanted nothing more then to rip off of him. You held hands across the table as you ate dinner, enjoying the evening. When dinner was finished you knew it was now or never. "Loki, there's something I wanted to ask you." You said looking at him. "Anything y/n." He said smiling at you. "Well, we've been together two years now, and I've never been happier, I love you so much." You said looking into his eyes "I love you too y/n." He said squeezing your hand. You pulled the small box from your purse "Loki laufeyson, will you marry me?" You asked smiling, opening the box to reveal a silver ring with a green inner bad wrapping around it. You saw the smile fall from his face as he looked between you and the ring. He hadn't said anything and you were getting nervous. "Loki, say something please" you said setting the box on the table. He pulled his hand back setting it on his lap, dread beginning to fill you. "Y/n, I don't know what to say." He said in a monotone voice, staring at the ring. "You could say yes." You joked smiling at him. He looked at you, silent for a moment "y/n, I can't." He said plainly. "Why not?" You asked him. "I just......I can't." He said.
"Can't or won't?" You asked looking at him. His silence told you everything. You cleared your throat "I should go." You said grabbing your purse. "Y/n wait...." he said reaching for you, you stopped and looked at him. "I do love you y/n, but I can't...." he tried, going silent. "But you can't marry me. I know I'm just a mortal, but I thought for once I would be enough." You said, sniffling, refusing to cry in front of him. "Y/n .." he started but you cut him off "it's fine Loki, its my fault. i was stupid enough to believe i was worthy of you, but I never will be will i?." You said getting up. "I won't bother you again." You said quickly leaving the resteraunt before your tears fell.
You made it back to the tower, thankful Loki hadn't followed you. You grabbed a few boxes, packing up what you could from your shared room, wiping your tears as you went. You grabbed your clothes from your side of the closet, heading to one of the vacant rooms. You headed back running into Thor "Lady y/n, what's the matter?" He asked. "Your brother that's what." You said storming past him. You threw the rest of your things in the boxes as you started to move everything before Loki got back. "But y/n, I thought you and my brother were happy." He said following you. "Yeah, so did i." You said moving around him. "Either help me or leave please, I need to hurry and get this done." You said making sure you grabbed everything.
Thor walked in grabbing one of your boxes following you to the other room. You made one more trip, making sure you had everything before shutting the door grabbing a bottle of wine and heading to your new room. "I am sorry about whatever happened between you and Loki, I will speak with him." Thor said starting to leave. "Don't bother, I'm not worth the trouble." You sighed sitting at the end of the bed. "Lady y/n, i..." he started before you cut him off "please Thor, just leave." You sighed hanging your head. As you heard the door click shut, you let the tears fall.
Loki had made it back to the tower, hoping to talk to you about what happened, but when he got to your room, he saw your things gone. He ran to the closet seeing your clothes gone. "Y/n!" He called out, checking the bathroom but you weren't there. He ran and checked the common area, the library, the kitchen, but couldn't find you. He ran to Thor's room hoping he had seen you coming back "brother, have you seen y/n, I can't find her." He asked Thor. "Yes I've seen her, what did you do?" He asked crossing his arms. Loki sighed "she asked me to marry her and I said no." He said looking down. "Why would you say no. I thought you were happy." Thor asked. "I am! I love her, truly. But she doesn't know what I am, how could she ever love a monster." Loki said fidgeting with his hands. "You didn't even give her a chance Loki, she would have understood. You should have trusted her." Thor said shaking his head. "The only one who thinks your a monster is you, and until you can accept yourself, you'll always be afraid." Thor said. "Give her some space, she was rather upset when I saw her." He said. "May I come in?" Loki asked. Thor nodded, moving aside to let Loki in.
It had been a week and no one had seen you. They tried knocking on your door but you kept it locked, not answering. only sneaking out when you knew everyone was asleep or gone to get more wine or whatever alcohol Tony had lying around. Trash littered your room, clothes all over the floor. You didn't have the energy to pick them up. You stumbled out of your room, completely trashed, looking for Tony's stash of alcohol to numb the pain. The tower was eerily silent, maybe everyone was gone. You found a half a bottle of scotch, taking a swig you decided it would be a good idea to go to the roof and look at the stars. You dragged yourself to the elevator, knocking into the wall a few times before making it. You got to the roof, realizing you were in your sleep shorts and tank top as the cold air hit you. You shrugged, taking another drink stumbling out.
You made it to the edge, standing on your toes looking over the wall down to the street. "Y/n!" You heard someone yell your name. You looked up trying to find the source of the voice. "Get away from there!" You heard it again, along with what sounded like someone running. "Whose there?" You slurred unable to focus as a hand gripped your wrist. You tried pulling away but you couldn't get loose. "Let go of me!" You yelled at the voice. "What are you doing y/n?" You heard. You sighed "looking at the pretty stars, they twinkle like my Loki's eyes." You said tearing up. You put your head down "you see, i love him, but he doesn't love me." You said sniffling. "I'm sure that's not true." The voice said "yes it is! I was stupid, asked him to marry me, of course he said no, why wouldn't he." You said wiping your face. "Y/n, let's get you to bed." The voice said. "I don't want to sleep, I'll dream about him." You said trying to sit down but were lifted up. "Shh it's ok y/n, I've got you." The voice said. "Your soft." You hummed as your eyes drifted closed.
You slowly opened your eyes as the sun hit your face, making your head pound. You turned your head to see Loki sitting in a chair next to the bed, his eyes on you. "Go away Loki." You huffed, moving to get out of bed. "Y/n, wait, please." He said moving to in front of you. "I have nothing to say to you" you said trying to get up "well I have something to say to you." He said placing his hands on your shoulders. "What is is?" You sighed holding your head. He handed you a cup of coffee and some pain meds before sitting back down. "Y/n, I would like to explain myself about why I told you no." He said looking at you. "I don't want to hear it." You said shaking your head, starting to get up. "Well I want you to." He said firmly. You looked at him and sat back down.
"The reason I said no, wasn't because I don't love you, I do, it's because of my parentage, what I am." He sighed looking down. "Asgardian, I already know that" you said looking at him. "No, I'm not asgardian." He said looking at you. "What are you talking about Loki?" You asked getting frustrated. He sighed closing his eyes. You watched as his skin turned blue, ridges forming on his skin. He slowly opened his eyes, seeing his emerald eyes turning dark red. You sat there, unsure what to say. "I am a frost giant y/n, a monster, and I was afraid you would be frightened of me, that is why I said no" he said looking down. You scooted closer, looking at him. He looked the same but.....different. "Look at me please." You said. His eyes meeting yours, you gazed into them. "Loki, regardless of what you are, you are still you, you always will be, I don't care if you were a troll, I'd still love you." You sighed. "I'm sorry y/n, I should have trusted you, I should have told you" he said shaking his head. "It's ok Loki, I understand." You said looking at him.
He leaned down, kneeling in front of you grabbing your hands "y/n, I love you with everything in me, I never want to lose you, I would be honored to be your husband." He said pulling a box out of his pocket, be opened it revealing a silver banded ring, with an emerald in the middle, diamonds surrounding it. "If you still want me." He said holding the ring out to you. You felt the tears in your eyes as you looked at him "I will always want you Loki." You said lunging at him, hugging him. "Is that a yes?" He asked hugging you back. You laughed pulling back "Yes, Yes it is." You smiled kissing him. He held your hand putting the ring on your finger, noticing him wearing the one you got him. You grabbed his hand "have you been wearing it?" You asked looking at him. "Since that night, yes." He said holding your hand. You smiled at eachother, pulling him into another hug "I love you Loki." You said sighing. "I love you too y/n." He said.
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