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anticomedygarden · 9 months

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England's got a new queen! part 3

part one | ao3 link

"And here's the room where Nixon told his family he was gonna resign," June says, gesturing into the dark room.

"Lovely," Pez says brightly.

"It's also the room where Nancy Reagan found out Ronald Reagan was shot," Nora adds.

"Even better." He turns to June, and his light purple hair - the hair that he apparently dyed especially for this trip - catches the light. It looks good. "I trust I'm not staying in a room that has anything to do with either of those men?"

"Of course not," June assures him. "You're staying with me."

Pez raises an eyebrow. "Oh? And where are you staying?" he asks Nora.

"Alex's room." When the entire White House Trio is staying at the Residence, she has her own room, but when Alex isn't there, she moves everything in there to the left five degrees. She's up to 20, and he hasn't said anything.

It's exhilarating.

They finally reach June's room so Pez can dump his stuff, and June fires off more texts to Bea, Alex, and Henry in the hopes that something gets through. Nora isn't optimistic.

"Hey, are either of you hungry? It's just about lunchti-"

A blaring alarm pierces through the rest of June's words, and they all jump.

"That's the fire alarm," June says, brown eyes wide.

"Should we not be running?" Pez asks, calm demeanor visibly straining. Nora can't blame him. This was supposed to be safer than his apartment.

"What if it's a ploy to get us all outside and in one place?" June points out.

They all stare at each other, wasting possibly precious time. There's no one else in this part of the building at this time of day, so it's not like they can ask someone what to do.

Just then, the sound of firetrucks and other emergency vehicles makes itself known over the still blaring fire alarm, and suddenly, the whole situation seems a lot more real.

Nora does the math. "Run."

The next day, Henry and Alex don't even consider going back to the trails. They don't even decide what to do with their day until about 1 p.m., an hour after they get up.

They don't mean to stay in bed that long; they're legs just hurt really bad.

At the kitchen island, Henry looks up from his pancakes. "I was thinking we could go swimming today."

Alex nearly groans at the thought of more exercise. "Are you sure? Yesterday was a lot."

Henry nods. "Swimming is good for sore muscles, and there's a pond near here."

Oh god, Alex didn't even think of the walk to get there. It better not be too bad because Cash left a note before they got up that he was already on the trails.

Henry must sense his thoughts, because he hurries to say, "The pond isn't even a quarter mile from here."

Still not ideal, but, "That sounds fine."

Which is how, 30 minutes later, Alex is shucking off his shirt and shoes and jumping into glittering blue water, Henry right behind him.

When he resurfaces, Henry is right next to him, and Alex has the sudden urge to grab onto him and not let go.

Huh. Trauma has a funny way of showing itself, doesn't it? It's not like they haven't been back to the lake house since 2020 or that he can't be around water without getting anxious. In fact, they've mostly managed to work through a lot of the problems that had stemmed from that trip. Maybe it's the isolation leaving no distractions, or the annoyingly fresh air making his mind work faster that's bringing back the memories, or maybe it's the weird/bad feeling that still won't go away.

Whatever it is, he tries to reassure himself that Henry would never leave again, which he knows. That, and he literally can't leave, not without at least alerting Cash and making lots of noise.

Anyway, Alex doesn't even try to resist the urge and pounces on his boyfriend, pulling them both under. They struggle for a few minutes before popping back up for air. Henry may take a knee to the stomach, but Alex certainly can't be blamed under these conditions.

They wrestle for a while longer and then relax while treading water, and they even play a rather violent game of Marco Polo.

By the time they go back to the cabin, they're both pleasantly tired, and Alex can't even remember why he ever felt uneasy in the first place.

All three of them take off running toward the nearest staircase, Nora in the lead.

"Are you sure we shouldn't wait and make sure it's safe? I don't want to be assassinated," June shouts over the sirens and alarms.

"Better assassinated than burned to death by a fucking building fire!" Nora reasons, and is 100% right.

Pez breaks in. "I agree. Assassination means you made it."

"I want a third option!" June exclaims.

If only there was one.

It doesn't take long to get to an exit, and soon they're out on the back lawn along with various staffers.

Oh, and there's Zahra.

"What is going on?" June demands, ignoring the phone pressed to her ear.

Zahra holds up a finger, and they wait for her to finish her phone call.

"Mhm...yeah...yep, okay, love you, bye." She hangs up and faces them. "What do you want?"

"Hold on, was that Shaan?" Pez asks gleefully. He shares Alex's obsession with Shaan and Zahra, and, honestly, it's kinda hilarious. It's become somewhat of a norm for one of them to text the group chat with some stupid update like, "Zahra is reading The Catcher in the Rye," or, "Shaan is sexting Zahra again." Nora wouldn't say it's one of the reasons she gets up in the morning, but...it totally is.

Zahra ignores Pez and turns to June. Good choice. "What do you want?"

"What's going on?" June asks again.

Zahra holds her hands up in the air. "The fire alarm went off."

"Thanks, that's helpful," June deadpans. "Do you know anything else?"

Zahra rolls her eyes. "As of thirty seconds ago, everyone we know that was in the Residence is fine and on the front lawn."

They all breathe a sigh of relief. "Do we know if-"

Once again, June is cut off, this time by Zahra's phone.

"Hello?...Okay...yes, ma'am, they're with me...okay...great, we're on our way." She hangs up and shoves her phone in her pocket, and they wait for her to tell them what's going on. "Good news. There's no fire."

It sounds like good news, but Nora's mind immediately goes to murder. She asks, "Does that mean someone pulled the alarm on purpose, like, maybe to get us all outside in the same place?"

"No, a cook accidentally started a grease fire."

They all cheer. "Yay!"

So much for the murder theory, although they really can't rule it out yet. Still, though, Nora allows herself to relax. Just a little.

Of course, it has to end. All their phones buzz at the same time, and they glance at each other nervously.

It's a news update.

Pipe burst spotted at Buckingham Palace amidst Queen's sudden illness. Royal family remains silent.

She looks back up to see the others' worried faces.

It's practically official.

Something terrible is going on here.

When they get back to the cabin, Henry goes to shower, and Alex goes to start dinner, and he really means to. Really.

But, while he's looking through the cupboards for pots (of which there are none) and pans (of which there are nine), he happens to find a cupboard full of marshmallows, Hershey's bars, and graham crackers.

He can't be blamed if he starts building the fire instead of building dinner. Besides, Cash is right there with him.

"This is damn good," the bodyguard says as he stretches his legs out in front of him. The man somehow isn't deathly sore even after hiking all day. "Where'd you find this stuff?"

Alex grins. "In one of the cupboards. None of it's even expired yet."

"Nice."

A few minutes later, Henry comes out of the cabin followed closely by David who immediately runs up to Alex to beg for food. Alex breaks off a piece of graham cracker for him.

"I thought you were making dinner," Henry says.

Alex waves his marshmallow stick at him. "I did."

Henry just laughs.

Bea Fox-Mountchristen-Windsor is having an absolutely wonderful time. After all, her least favorite person in the world may finally be doing her place justice, Bea and her sister-in-law are bonding for once over the general horribleness of said least favourite person, and she is currently watching her older brother run around like a chicken with its head cut off as a burst pipe that could very well be an act of terror destroys a centuries old palace.

"Then there was this one time before our wedding when she asked me how the weight loss was going," Martha says, rolling her glass through her fingers. "Mind you, I was underweight at the time from stress and could barely keep down crackers."

Bea rolls her eyes in sympathy. She may not have been particularly fond of her brother's chosen person at first, but she has since learned that the woman has depth, particularly since she started working with charities dedicated to lessening the impact of eating disorders.

"That's right, Philip, perhaps some paper towels will fix it," Bea calls when he emerges from the flooded side again with a roll of paper towels tucked under an arm. Martha giggles beside her, mimosa in one hand.

"I was trying to save an antique rug," he snipes. "Besides, I don't see you helping."

"The only thing that can help right now are sandbags and the world's best plumber." She sips her water while Martha questions Philip on the pipe, but Bea imagines the situation is much the same as it was an hour ago when they first heard the boom.

See, the pipe didn't simply burst. It exploded in one of the sitting rooms, creating a small geyser and a massive hole in the wall. Probably millions of dollars worth of old furniture had been destroyed, but thankfully nothing particularly important to history. The bigger problem is that it was still leaking. With minimal staff, it had been up to them to take care of it, and Bea had gladly allowed Philip to take the reins.

Now, though, looking at his damp hair and sad little roll of paper towels, she feels completely justified. It really is a hilarious situation they've gotten into.

She tunes back into Philip and Martha's conversation just in time to hear, "Any news on the Queen?"

Philip fidgets a bit, a sign of deep discomfort in a man made to go through prince training. "Mum said she's getting worse."

Shyly, he looks down, and Bea revisits a thought she had when they were first made aware of Mary's sudden ailment.

Her brother probably isn't taking the news as well as Bea, and he may actually be hurting at the idea of her death.

She swallows her pride and says, "I'm sorry to hear that."

Philip waves her away, face pinched. "You don't have to pretend for me. I'll be fine."

Strangely, Bea believes him, and one look at Martha tells her her sister-in-law feels the same way.

Just then, Princess Catherine emerges from a corridor to the left looking forlorn.

It's still odd for Bea to see her mother being an active participant in anything, and she almost feels bad that this is one of things Catherine has to return to. Her mother has been taking it remarkably well, though, almost as if she had been waiting for it since getting back in the game. Bea is actually quite proud of her.

Back in the present, they all stand, snapping to attention.

"How is she?" Philip asks.

Catherine sighs. "Much the same."

"Is her blood work back yet?"

"No. It seems whatever lab we're using is running every test imaginable, or they just haven't figured it out and don't want to tell us."

Bea decides to break in. "What did you come out here to tell us, Mum?" She's been in with Gran almost this whole time; something must be up.

Catherine sighs again. "An entire PPO team called in sick."

There are three identical noises of shock and outrage, and Bea says, "Do you think it could be related?"

She hadn't really believed the murder theory, but if their security is now partially out, it may be time to consider it.

"I don't know," Catherine says carefully.

Before she can continue, Philip says, "Of course it is. The Queen is dying, security is understaffed, and no one can contact Henry. It can't be a coincidence anymore."

"Not so fast," Catherine says, holding up a hand. "All of the ones that called out were contacted and are indeed visibly sick."

Bea wonders what that means. Perhaps an inspector went to each individual house and waited for them to vomit.

"Is that proof, though?" Martha asks nervously. "Could they not have been nefariously exposed? It seems an awful coincidence that both security and Her Majesty end up like this at the same time."

Bea has to take a moment to appreciate her sister-in-law using the word 'nefariously' in the same breath as calling the Queen 'Her Majesty,' the same woman she had described as an 'arrogant little shithead' not five minutes ago.

Philip nods. "Yes, exactly. If anything, this is just further proof of a plot regardless of the intentions of our PPOs."

This time, Catherine doesn't disagree, and Bea knows that they are well and truly screwed.

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blackidyll · 1 year

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I was tagged by the lovely @saint--claire for this! (❁´◡`❁)

3 Ships I have so many ships that I can mention, so I'll just do one each for three arbitrary categories.

1) Ship I'm reading: IceMav from the Top Gun movies. I mentioned this before, but I needed both movies to fall in love with this pairing so hard. Like if I watched the movies individually I would be interested but not this much - but throw in the fact that they canonically have 30+ years of history and TGM made it very clear that their bond has gotten even stronger over the years *chef's kiss*. Rivals to wingmen! Ice as Mav's guardian angel! Mav was the only one Ice trusted to teach the kids so they could all come back home alive! Mav pounding his wings onto Ice's coffin!!! The angst from Ice's canonical death adds a sort of realistic bittersweetness that makes the ship somehow more appealing to me. But also, because real life is depressing enough as it is, I'm happily rolling in OG!TG wingmen era fics and found family MavDad/IcePops and Dagger kids AUs forever.

2) Ship I've written: Halfdain from Genshin Impact. I like a lot of Genshin characters and relationships (both romantic and familial), but Halfdain was the one that broke my two-year pandemic lockdown writer's block. Halfdan literally appears onscreen for like three minutes, but his loyalty to Dainsleif! He followed Dainsleif's final command for 500 years! He remembered and recognized Dain even when his memories should have completely eroded away! He believed in Dain so much. And Dain! How he recognized Halfdan even in his shadowy husk state! The way his eyes flickered and he smiled the gentlest smile for Halfdan! The hand clasp in the flashback, and the Black Serpent salute! Halfdan's fate is also what inspired me so much - I was so distraught at the fact that Halfdan dies and they couldn't be together despite everything they've been through, I broke my own writer's block to fix things. Tragic endings what? I WILL FIX THEM WITH FIC. This is probably the rarest pairing I ship (<50 works on AO3), but I love them so much.

3) Free choice: 00Q from the Daniel Craig James Bond films. So, I've kind of stopped writing for them. However, I see a pattern with my current ships and like.. I haven't actually watched No Time To Die, but I know what happens to Bond. And going by my track record, I'll either write my own fix-it fic or I'll look for all the fix-it fics. And that's why I still haven't watched NTTD: 1) i'm not quite ready for things to end, and 2) I don't want to risk switching hyperfixations, so I'm procrastinating on it. But 00Q will always have a special place in my heart, both for how long I was actively in the fandom for, and for how much I grew as a writer writing for them.

First Ship I'm probably aging myself right here, but considering the timing of when I got into fandom it's either Yuki Sohma/Tohru Honda from Fruits Basket or KakaIru from Naruto.

Last movie Enola Holmes 2. I enjoyed it!

Last song Hoyoverse just dropped The Stellar Moments Vol 3 album and I've been listening to it while writing this. My favourites are Chapter of a New Era (Yunjin's theme), Storm Chaser (Heizou's theme), Evening Luxury (Diluc and Fischl's outfit teaser) and Surasthana Fantasia (Nahida's theme).

Currently reading Uhhhh.. I have far too many fic tabs opened, but two IceMav fics that I'm actively following are As Lions by @qin-ling (Time travel fic! The angst of Mav's now unreturnable original timeline and his Ice's death, but also hope in the form of getting to save Goose and befriending '86 Ice again!) and ICE - In Case of Emergencies by @derpinathebrave (post-breakup IceMav where Ice gets called as Mav's emergency contact after an accident. The title is already excellent but also the writing is impeccable).

Also I have a ton of Sandman fics opened before my brain took a sharp dive into TG fandom, so here's a fic I was halfway through: We have all the time in the world (a great exploration of Dreamling throughout their once-a-century-meet ups, where Dream is slightly more in-tuned to his feelings for Hob).

Currently watching I just finished watching Season 3 of Mob Psycho 100. I (surprisingly) did not cry at the ending but the moment 99 (the season 1 OP) played in the final episode? Oo, good chills, it was so excellently done.

Currently consuming All the Chinese New Year snacks. Actually, I can't eat most snacks yet because we're saving them for 初一 . But you know what you can't save for too long? Mandarin oranges. So many mandarin oranges. This is the best season for mandarin orange lovers :D

Currently craving Milk tea (not boba. Just tea and milk variants, no tapioca pearls or other toppings).

Tagging @qserasera, @no-gorms, @solowinged, @kamicom (welcome back!), but only if you feel up to it. And if anyone else would like to pick this up, please feel free!

#saint--claire #replies #*#thank you for tagging me! this was fun to go through #I untagged the two IceMav authors whose fics I mentioned #because this post is mostly me rambling about stuff and i don't want to clutter up their notifications #but if you all like TG or IceMav you should follow them here on tumblr!#(and if they happen to see this post and these messy tags and feel up to answering these qs i would love to read the replies)#and also if you like TG and Hangster in particular then you should follow saint--claire! and read their fics!#looking back at my responses here - yeah i'm all over the place with my fandoms lol #what i read versus what i write are completely different lists

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someoneinjersey · 2 years

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Just a lil update

Every so often I like to check in on my mostly defunct social media accounts.

Still living in North Carolina with Kate, with her cat Wimby and my dog Deano, and then we had a stray decide to adopt us who is so sweet and lovey. Her name is Larry because she has a very raspy meow if she can make sound at all, so Kate said she had laryngitis, thus, Larry. She's wonderful and we want to work on bringing her inside if we can (she likes to sneak in sometimes anyway). She brings us so many "gifts" so we know she loves us but for god's sake, so many dead mice, chipmunks, and rabbits turning up on our porch.

I'm still disabled as fuck, yo. I rarely have the physical or mental energy to do things, which sucks because I was doing really well for a few months after I moved in and then at some point, possibly conflated by my birth control that I hated, my panic disorder kicked into high gear. Like I'd have a panic attack just driving into town, or thinking about driving into town, or for no reason at all. We went to Kate's brother's five hours away for Christmas this past year and I had to stop at a gas station for an hour to sit and let my meds kick in while fighting vomiting and hyperventilating because I was having such a bad panic attack. Once we finally got there I had at least one attack every day, sometimes two or three. It was out of control, so my psychiatrist put me on extended release xanax to try to improve my quality of life and it's worked very well, though it does make me sleepy and panic or the fear of panic does creep in from time to time.

My brother disowned me. My mother needs a kidney transplant now on top of her liver transplant, and will refuse dialysis once her kidney function fails completely, so we have no idea how much time she has left. She still won't leave her husband. She wants to come visit again (she came last October) and while she's my mom so I'd love to see her and cook for her, I don't know if I can handle the stress. She doesn't realize she's a huge trigger for me and she can never know that because it'll kill her and she's already dying. She is aware, however, that if she visits, she may have to have Kate or a taxi pick her up from/drop her off at the airport because I don't know if I can drive to Asheville yet. It's about a 30 minute drive, but I still struggle with just going into town. She's not too happy about that. We've had so many fights since I've moved here.

I keep falling into ruts. I swore I'd break all my bad habits once I got down here and lived on my own, without a parent lurking around, but I just keep letting things go all over again. The dishes pile up, the garbage piles up, and then the monumentous task of just starting a clean up becomes unattainable. I've also learned that I have ADHD, likely always have. My psychiatrist said it was a "soft" diagnosis he was giving me, however, because I wasn't interested in going on medication for it. I want to sort out my other shit first but naturally I'm making no progress on that either. I put things off because I'm scared, and because I can never guarantee that I can make my appointments due to my panic attacks.

I'm still a killer cook. I've taken up collage journaling, which is just basically gluing scraps of paper and putting stickers together in a notebook, but it makes me feel good to do. I bought myself supplies to start drawing again but they've been here over a week and I haven't touched them yet. I need to get back into art so maybe I can sell some because we are barely scraping by, paycheck to paycheck and disability to disability. It really sucks.

Anyway, for anyone that's still around, I just have tumblr, facebook, and instagram now. FB and IG are private so you'll have to send a follow request or whatever, but please do. I'd like more interaction and I miss some of you on here. I'm also always up for texting, so my number is only an ask away.

ETA: My fb is under "Sara Ann" and my current userpic is not my face, and my ig is "atthedividingline" thank you

#me #about me #personal #update

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tekatonic · 2 years

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About me and IDs

Hey uh if you thought you'd reblogged something recent of mine and it's gone, it's not just you, I deleted it. ( And if you saw me panic about it earlier... oof... but this is what that was about. )

Just thought I'd explain why.

Image descriptions are a real struggle for me, they've been extremely important for me to do since i started this blog, but I was self-sabotaging myself so bad over them. I just want to be inclusive, I feel like I HAVE to be, because "what if", right ? I know there's always a chance people that need IDs might come across my art posts. But I have pretty horrible emotional/energy/attention regulation and I'm also very unmotivated and lazy and I forget things. Because why would I want to agonize over writing long descriptive text when the next chapter of this fanfic seems so enticing ?

So the post I deleted was unfinished, I was working on describing the outfits yesterday but it was taking me so long and I thought I had the time today, which I did, but then i spent ALL DAY in bed reading a long fanfic ( which i still haven't finished ) on my phone. Obviously I kept forgetting about it until I let it post itself and realized how much I fucked up when i got my laptop out and checked my notes... abnormally large amount of them for something that was posted 30 minutes beforehand. The reblog tags made me painfully aware of people noting that it was unfinished. ( "no id?" has never made me feel more like a failure, i was/am in pain just remembering the tags existed )

It's not even the first time this has happened recently... well lesson learned : I am never scheduling an unfinished post ever again. My drafts are gonna get so crowded...

#off topic teka talk #sorry it seems like i'm torturing myself over something so silly #and... well i am #but i can't help it #it wouldn't be such a big deal if IDs didn't matter as much to me #but the amount of pressure i put on myself writing them is honestly almost crippling #i can at least admit how scared i am of not accomodating literally every single person in existance #and i know how unrealistic these standards of mine are #i'm struggling with them a lot atm #i'm overexplaining myself aren't i

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the-firebird69 · 7 months

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There's an interesting story because with all the offices coming back online people will stop pulling from there because they found out through the spies they're just despise at those sites a lot of them are trumpsters almost all of them and the business is shut down all day they were just sitting there and I thought they have a lot of work and they have none and most of it is a reputation and the reputation is mud and they are they are horrible horrible at liar and tell people the truth sometimes and they are just getting beat up it is just amazing how many of them for beating to death when he started talking about this company they're terribly terribly bad at it and I do know that it's extremely annoying let me come hostile and they don't have it and I do understand now they're doing it here in a personal basis and we do need to stop him we're going to file all sorts of suits but we're going to do the old fashioned way and pretty soon

These chips are being sought all over Earth but all sorts of parties. Trump is sending us in like it was the only thing you have to do at all. Huge groups are going down and the warlocks sent down a giant contingent and their Force they're using the same about 2% and they have about 10% of the general population that's really a smaller number I was there. Still in a few trillion but it's not that many people by comparison it really is not and not even that great for fact-fiving

Couple more things he's going to break take a rest

-the bugs are attacking and he's the air on and they're also going to spray and they don't tell people when they're awake and we're complaining and you don't listen but then I say they have to do it weird at night so it hits the water area it kind of agree with that and then so it's giving take. They haven't sprayed and it doesn't really come over here and it works it's very good it was almost a huge nightmare

-they're having a war under the rings and truthfully they have about 120 houses that are macarlock and they didn't lose that many because the pseudo empire has around 70 and minority more like a 30 and we have like 40 and Max are here with like 40 and they're building 40 more and it's mostly mcmorelock it's true and the clones have houses out of the 120 yeah how about 40 so there's still quite a few of them but they lost about 30 households and you heard who and they're fairly big names.

-along with that there's a few other things happening people are getting very disillusioned with their leadership they want to hold people with no money and nothing to do with no goods and just have them go off in a battle and do whatever it's very lame it's never worked that way people get very pissed and they're stopping their leaders and our son is having a lot of problems too they've been doing it for years Tim and to him and to society and they're trying to put their foot down finally

-is a large group of people trying to get into Charlotte county and they're trying to break in. 30 households went to the first ring and they have a giant for us for me and the pseudo empire promise to wipe it out

20 more people when we've got a deal there's too many people trying to get in and too many every day and it won't go away or stop trying to use Force and it's mostly Macklemore lock and they're trying to get in now so that's going on and there's a huge number of people trying to get here by plane and there's only so many flights and they get here and they're disappointed.

A couple more things we're experiencing a lot of problems here with these people here and we're fighting with them all the time. It is a huge pain this week will probably be different we will have you're a huge number of people taking each other to court and we have to be here to make sure it doesn't boil over this is going to be a large number of cases submitted tomorrow and we'll see how many minutes going to be a lot and it'll start pulling out there big ones we also have another problem with just their attitude it's horrible and then talk is horrible and what they do around the Sun and they need to leave they really do they're horrible people and uncivilized I have there not afraid of the law or anything so we're going to start enforcing stuff and they're going to hate it they're big pigs

-there are several wars going on right now and when it just started is the United Kingdom and they are trying to fight to get there and BGA is calling his and trying to fight to get a huge army and defend the area and ships are moving in spaceships from the island Australia they're fighting to keep them there but it's a big area and their tunnels is about 300 million ships just arrived it's going to go with that for a while

more news later

Thor Freya

Olympus

Good things are working

Hera

Zues

Yes they are

Thor Freya

We'll see you in hell you losers here you're going to go to hell this week finally

Nuada Arrianna we shall help hold you in prison yes you need to go there. The pseudo empire will try to cause chaos to force their military and take the area of Lord will begin the truth we will be bringing troops here to haltom

Mild

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pandesalmonster · 8 months

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It's 4am and i haven't slept.

Blame the iced coffee i made earlier. Blame the Excel spreadsheet that I should have worked on this evening. Blame Twitter and Reddit for the unlimited content that's kept me up.

Lots of things on my mind again.

FIRST: my growing kpop collection expenses. oec and loossemble had comebacks this year and OOOOH. SHINY POBs. I want all the POBs. But I have limited money. I have gone over the supposed 3% allocation for kpop. I have too many albums (3 versions instead of just 1), Chuu and Heejin are comebuting this year. And Red Velvet! I don't have the money and space for all that! in general, I just bought so many things that they are piling up.

like that ^ is literally my philosophy for collecting loona items now. even if they're pretty, even if the store says it's limited. even if i have to wait 10 years for the prices to go down. I'm still working on accepting the reality though *cries in poor*

SECOND: the ongoing war in palestine and israel, and am i retweeting the correct information? do i have the correct information to form the best opinion? 2 filipinos have already been killed by hamas. if i retweet a tweet condemning that does that mean I don't support palestinians right to their land? if i don't fully agree with one side then does that mean I wholly support the other? Is it truly possible to support and condemn both sides at the same time? Maybe this is the "black-and-white" thinking that the boomers are talking about. This is a good thread: https://twitter.com/Ike_Saul/status/1711780282725011520

THIRD: kpop fancalls and the people who say "[group members] recognize me!" because they've met and talked with the members multiple times, and they went to all of their concerts. Like I'm jealous you know? How do they have the money, and the time, and the energy? And I don't even want to meet the members, I just want the clout and admiration that it gets them. I want others to envy me, if you get my drift.

FOURTH: is it possible to escape social media and screens? because just yesterday I felt sick, and I don't know if it was because I spent 30 minutes waiting for a bus, then 1 hour standing on that bus due to traffic, or because I spent an hour carrying my very heavy bag on my shoulder, or is it because the aircon was very cold when i went to the office, or is it my looking at screens. But like I want to be the cool girl who doesn't need social media. Or at least get my screentime down to 2 hours a day. I watched social dilemma and it still didn't stop me from doing 4-6 hours a day. Maybe I need to be more mindful of how people/ the algorithm is manipulating me to stay there.

FIFTH: Am i gonna get the drive to be better? Because I keep writing out my problems, searching for advice in forums, and then I open a distraction and forget everything that I wanted to improve in myself.

- You know what, maybe I will. I am typing this on a lovely laptop but it is company owned. I want to buy this laptop for myself. I want to edit my videos, and I will definitely need a fast laptop for that. Because my sister will be using the ipad, I cannot use that.

So maybe my drive will be to save up for that laptop as fast as possible. I've been wanting to buy a new phone (specifically, one that supports a stylus. So I can draw on it).

SIXTH: Am I ready to buy a house? I submitted a bid for a foreclosed house and lot near my sister's. I don't think it was approved, because I'm not on the list of winners, and nobody has contacted me yet. Personally, I don't think I'm ready to buy a house. But my mom is pushing me to buy one, because prices are only gonna get expensive.

SEVENTH: Am I gonna get the work ethic and drive that I admire so much in my co-workers? I will admit that I am not very fond of my job right now, but they are very lenient, allowing me to work from home, but I repay them with sleeping on work hours and not doing any work. I want to be like the ones that stand on their word and are very dependable. But I am not there yet. I want to work on being that someday.

***

You see, I rarely go on here, but when I do, I always have so many things to say. That's what happens when you bottle up your thoughts. I should be writing here more often. maybe everyday. Here it's easy to catch up to my brain. Writing on notebooks, although recommended by some, is really tiresome, you know? Here it's easy to backspace and just type, as many words as you want. When I write with my pen, my hand tires easily. Maybe because I've been using my phone more and my pen less.

They say hand-journaling is better for distracted people, but for me, typing is so much better.

Maybe I should write with a pen less, draw with a pencil more, and type on a keyboard more.

Anyways. It's 4:30am. I need to sleep for 2 hours. and catch up on the work I missed.

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polaris-one · 11 months

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Time Management Coaching Techniques That Work

You might think that time management is a habit, like brushing your teeth. It’s not. Time management is a skill, and like any other skill, it requires practice to master. If you want to become more efficient in your daily life, whether you are an entrepreneur or working in an office environment, here are some effective time management coaching techniques that work:

Set goals.

When you set goals, make sure they're specific and measurable. For example, instead of saying "I want to lose weight," say "I want to drop 10 pounds." This makes it easier for your coach and yourself to track progress and know when you've reached your goal.

Your goals should also be achievable but challenging--which means that they may take some time and effort before they are achieved (and sometimes even longer than expected). For example: "My goal is to be able to run 5 miles nonstop by September 1st" versus "I would like to run 2 miles nonstop by April 15th."

Finally, always remember that your goals should align with what's important for you in life--not someone else's idea of success or happiness!

Prioritize.

Prioritizing is a key component of time management coaching techniques that work. It's important to prioritize the tasks on your list in order of importance, starting with those that are most urgent and working down toward those that can wait until later.

The first thing you need to do is figure out what needs doing right away, then next week or month, etc., until you reach the bottom of your list (which should include everything else). For example:

Urgent: Call insurance company about car accident claim.

Important but not urgent: Go through my clothes closet and donate anything I haven't worn in over a year; call library about renewing my library card; call doctor's office about scheduling annual checkup appointment.* Less important than either of these two categories above: Call friend who lives nearby who doesn't have children yet so she can keep me updated on their social life without having too much pressure from them about getting together soon; buy new pair shoes online since mine aren't comfortable anymore; bring old books back from storage unit where they've been sitting since moving here two years ago

Create a To-Do List.

When you have a clear idea of what needs to be done and when, you can start scheduling your time accordingly. Make sure that the list is concise and easy to read so that it doesn't become overwhelming or confusing. You want it in front of you at all times so that when something pops into mind during the day (and it will), there's no question about whether or not it should go on the list for later that night or tomorrow morning: just write down every single thing!

Schedule your day in 15-minute increments.

It's tempting to schedule your day in 30-minute increments and then get frustrated when you don't get everything done. But if you break up the tasks into smaller chunks, it's much easier to see what needs to be done and how long each task will take. If a task takes longer than expected, just schedule another 15 minutes on top of that time slot so that you can finish up at the end of the day without feeling rushed or stressed out by not finishing everything you set out to do.

When you get distracted, go back to your list immediately.

If you start doing something else and then realize that you are no longer on task, stop what you're doing and go back to the original task. You can't do everything at once, so focus on one thing at a time! If it helps, use an alarm or timer to remind yourself when it's time for a break or another activity.

Focus on the task at hand, not the entire job or project.

It's easy to get overwhelmed by the big picture. When you're working on a project, it's natural to think about all that needs to be done and feel like you won't be able to get it done in time. But if you focus on one small thing at a time, then eventually everything will get done!

For example: If I'm working on organizing my closet, I might start by taking out all of the clothes from each drawer and putting them into piles based on what kind of item they are (tops vs bottoms). After this step is complete, I'll start sorting through those piles by color and type (shirts/sweaters vs pants). Once I've grouped everything together into categories based on category and style--and separated out any items that don't fit anymore or no longer suit me--I'll put them back into their original drawers according to category so that everything has its own place where it belongs!

Take breaks when you need them.

Take breaks when you need them, but keep track of how much time you're spending and what you're getting accomplished during those breaks.

Make sure that your body is getting enough sleep, healthy food and exercise, relaxation and positive social interactions. Your brain will thank you for this!

Delegate tasks that are not a priority for you and your business.

Delegation is an important part of time management. It's the act of assigning responsibilities to others, which frees up your time and energy.

If you're like most people, delegation is not something that comes naturally--and it can be difficult to learn how to delegate effectively without making mistakes along the way.

One technique that works well for me when delegating tasks is asking myself these questions: "Is this task something that I really should be doing?" "Does this task fall within my skill set?" If yes, then I have no problem taking on more work! If not...then it's probably best if someone else takes care of it instead!

These simple tips can help you manage your time.

Here are some time management coaching techniques that can help you improve your productivity.

Set goals.

Prioritize the tasks on your to-do list and schedule them accordingly, so you can make sure that each task is completed as soon as possible.

Create a to-do list every morning before starting work or school, so you know exactly what needs to be done before leaving for the day (or night). This will also give off a positive vibe in those around you!

Schedule your day in 15 minute increments; this will allow for breaks when needed but also force focus on what needs done right now instead of letting things pile up later on down the line when they could get even more stressful than they already are at their current momentary level of "not being stressful enough."

Polaris One is the world's first time management coaching business. We provide our clients with the tools and strategies they need to get more done in less time, so they can spend their days doing what matters most to them. Polaris One is proud to provide Time Management Coaching. We know that you're busy, and we want to help you get more out of your day.

Our time management coaching services are designed with one goal in mind: helping you manage your time better so that you can accomplish more of what matters most to you. Polaris One wants to help you maximize your productivity, minimize stress, and improve the quality of your life in general.

Polaris One 310 Laguna Vista, Alameda, CA 94501, United States +15102893350 https://www.polarisone.com/ https://www.google.com/maps?cid=6776342651580498392

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takoichigo · 1 year

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I'm gonna just go on a tear here.

I have rectal cancer. We haven't gotten to staging yet, but it's looking like at least stage 3. I've been in the hospital since Thursday and every day has been worse than the last. From having to do colonoscopy prep in the hospital to having my sciatic nerve completely freak out every time I sat on the toilet during said prep making it so I was in an incredible amount of pain and couldn't walk, to having going through with the colonoscopy and having the doctor nearly tear up when he told me it was definitely cancer, it was aggressive, and that it was, in his words, tragic. I had a friend with me who works in that clinic, thank goodness, but it was still awful.

I have been having a series of panic attacks and bouts of just crying and feeling afraid and so alone. The nursing staff have taken that as a sign that I need to be pumped full of Xanax. Like what I'm going through isn't scary and I should just be a compliant little blood bank.

God, and the lab techs cannot take blood for shit. I have big terrifying bruises all over my left arm where they've brutalized me with a needle. The bruises are so big and wide that they've made it damn near impossible to find good veins in that arm anymore. They keep trying to take it from my hand and I will not let them do that. My hands are my best tools. I won't have them be battered because they can't find my giant horse veins in my arms or are too lazy to do so.

Last night I was in pain at around 2:30. I rang the call bell and it took 30 minutes for anyone to help me. And an hour later when that pain medicine had done nothing I had to fight with the nurse about how long it had been, and they finally conceded and gave me something stronger which knocked me out. At around 5 AM.

I was woken at 8 AM today, told surgery was now (I am having a colostomy, so poop doesn't have to pass through the cancer in my rectum, but they'd never told me when in the day the surgery was), pulled out of bed and told to pee and brush my teeth, and throw all my belongings in a bag because I would possibly be going to the ICU afterwards. Which they didn't elaborate on. So uh. Instant return of panic. I could not calm down, and my surgeon came to talk to me, and said it was best if we waited a day or two because the mental trauma I was already dealing with was going to be even worse post-surgery with the addition of having to deal with a fun new hole in my abdomen. I'd be stuck in the hospital anyway, it really wasn't extending the stay. But during that conversation I practically begged for mental health help, because I've never wanted to just take a pill and be too zonked out to remember my problems, generally I want to discuss them and find out what the answers are... y'know, like a person?

I did get to talk to a proper doctor and she explained some more things about how the process works. Knowing more about it helped me immensely, but then they sent the palliative care nurse in and she was wonderful, listened to my concerns, and actually brought me colored pencils, a coloring book, and a little stuffed dog. I had mentioned that I usually cuddle with my stuffed moose and he was at home where I couldn't get him, so I'd been using a spare gown that someone had randomly tossed in my bed to both cry into and cuddle for comfort. And about an hour after she left, a big stiff teddy bear showed up too.

But what really made the difference was that my person came to see me. He was here. I was so scared I wouldn't see him at all, because he has (totally understandable and reasonable) trauma surrounding this hospital and mentally could not handle being here. But today he was here. He's going to go take care of my kitty, who is alone at home. And I told him I loved him. And he said he loved me too. And he told me I couldn't give up.

Last night in the depths of panic and depression, I was pretty sure I wanted to give up. There were several moments when nurses were asking me what I needed while I was sobbing uncontrollably that I considered telling them that I needed a gun to the back of my head.

But if he says I'm not allowed to give up, I won't.

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ryosmne · 3 years

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Tattoo Artist! Sukuna x reader (part 3)

Hey there again, I had a few ideas of where i wanted to take the third part, I'm very happy with what I came up with, it's very very fluffy, I hope you have a good time reading 💜.

Series masterlist here

Here's a playlist for fluffy Sukuna

Warnings: Language, suggestive tones, alcohol consumption (everyone is of age here, around 21/22), nudity? Not really described, that's about it.

Saturday was slow for Sukuna, he doesn't really like working away his weekends, but here he is, finishing up a chest piece that looked good if he had to say so himself. Everything was luckluster to him compared to the project he was still drafting for y/n.

Speaking of her she hadn't texted him all day, neither did Sukuna. He told himself he wasn't clingy like that, she texted him before she would do it again surely. Y/n didn't pay much mind to him not making contact, perhaps he was busy. She wasn't wrong, she also had initiated most of their text conversations, she didn't want to seem desperate. Sukuna was going to contact her when he was free.

On the other hand Sukuna was stressed, passing in the hallway between the reception and his work booth, checking his phone every once in a while, he was a bit snappier than usual, not letting Gojo's or Megumi's remarks go, he would answer back, his voice almost dripping with venom, he was very much pissed and it showed.

When closing time finally came he was ready to blow up, Gojo teasing him, only made him more agitated. Gojo knew something was bothering him and he wasn't planning on dropping the subject.

"Hey 'kuna, tell the truth, you took her out and she left because she couldn't stand you, that's why you're so mad."

The white haired man joked, you could see the smoke coming out Sukuna's ears.

"Don't call me that. For your information, me and y/n had a great time, quit being an bumbass I'm not mad." Y/n did enjoy herself right? It sure looked like it. Was Sukuna getting insecure? Yes. Could everyone tell he was lying about not being mad? Also Yes.

"Oh so it's 'you and y/n' now? You were right Geto, he's got it real bad, he's not even calling her 'some girl' or something."

Gojo continued to laugh, he was enjoying every single second of torment he was putting Sukuna through.

He had enough though, he grabbed his jacket and his keys, but just before he left the rest of his crew and Yuuji, who came to eat with Megumi to close, he called to the most rational person inside. "Geto, come on I'll drive you home." Sukuna needed someone to talk to, he needed to know he was in the right and not going totally insane. Nanami was really close to him but relationships wasn't a topic he would really touch on. Gojo was out of the question, the man was a womaniser, not that it was a bad thing but he wouldn't even take Sukuna seriously, he only wanted to annoy him for the time being. Megumi was also a no. He would spill the beans to Yuuji, he already had Gojo on his ass he didn't need two more idiots making fun of him, one was barely tolerable. That only left Geto, who has at least had a few solid relationships and he was trustworthy enough not to give him too much shit.

Geto grabbed the chance not to have to clean for one night, but he was very curious about Sukuna's sudden move to give him a ride home, he has never offered that before. Yuuji had tipped him off, he knew his brother wanted to get all of the attention, if y/n didn't make a move, his brother would go insane. He was surprisingly right, so Yuuji told Geto to try and get his brother riled up. Now Geto didn't exactly agree, but he wanted to give Sukuna a friendly nudge to the right direction.

Sukuna had already been driving for a little while, he couldn't find the courage to open his mouth and talk. Has he gone mad? Its not like he's clueless about girls, he's had many. Why was it different this time?

"So how come you wanna drive me around at night?" The raven haired man asked, eyebrow raised, ready to hear what his friend was so on edge for all day, even though he had an idea. Sukuna wasn't one to share feelings, he never did, he couldn't really tell anyone the reason why not a single word from y/n all day irked him so damn much. "Look, so let's say there's this girl right? You take her out, you have fun, everything is cruising perfectly, but then she doesn't really talk to you the next day." He said with a small pause "hypothetically speaking" He added, just to avoid further questions.

Geto looked at him with a blank face, although he couldn't really believe in his ears, Yuuji was right, he knew his friend was falling face first, it still surprised him. He saw the day that Sukuna was stressed for a girl, if someone told him even two weeks ago that this was going to happen happen, Geto most definitely would've laughed straight in their face.

"Well it depends really, for example did you text her and she didn't answer? Then yeah, she's not interested, but maybe she's busy, or she started texting first and she wants you to initiate." Sukuna blinked "You're right she's busy, she has a test too, maybe she has been studying, she'll come around." He said, the words came fast out of his mouth. Geto looked at him again more serious this time. "Look man, I know for a fact, you haven't texted first, you seem to really like her, don't be a pussy and send her one text." His tone was equally serious. "I'm just fond of her, that's all she's good company." Sukuna tried to brush him off, Geto wouldn't budge. "Call it what you want, I know you like the feisty ones, so do many people and you know how college kids are, one party is all it takes to lead to who knows what. Man up, when you do you can bring her around the shop too, you know we all would love to meet her." By the time Geto finished his sentence, Sukuna had already parked outside of his apartment to drop him off, they shared their good nights.

For the rest of his lonely drive home Sukuna couldn't help but think of that party his brother mentioned a couple nights ago, was y/n going to be there? And Geto's words kept replaying in his head.

Geto was smiling to himself walking inside his apartment knowing he did the right thing giving his friend a slight push.

With her hair just the way she liked it, her make-up done and an outfit that extenuated her best features, y/n was making her way down the street to meet up with Mai outside of Todo's place. The walk wasn't too long and y/n caught a glimpse of her short haired friend, who was also dressed to impress, standing right out of Todo's door.

"You didn't wait long did you?" Y/n asked, Mai smilled and shook her head, she was the late one most of the time, she did make it just a second before y/n arrived.

"Let's go, my sister and Nobara are waiting" she informed y/n, who nodded. "Really, I haven't seen Maki in a while, Nobara rarely shows up in class too." She said full of excitement, the girls were friends for a long while, even before college. Mai and y/n ended up forming closer friendship.

"Yeah they're about to remind us of how single we are." Mai loved her sister with all her heart, she was very competitive though and when Maki got with Nobara before Mai could strike up a boyfriend in college, she took it a bit personally. Then she focused her attention on finding someone for y/n, but that never went well. Hopping right up the stairs both girls were talking about what they would see tonight, more accurately who. "So Yuuji is probably going to be here, I asked Todo" Mai said her eyes hopefull, y/n rolled her's and her companion didn't let it go unnoticed. "I really don't get you, he's cute, you even said so." There she goes again, but y/n wouldn't let it slide this time. "You seem way more giddy to see him, than I do." She said, knocking on Todo's door who was waiting right behind it, answering in seconds. Mai was still dumbfounded, she hardly acknowledged Todo at the door and made her way inside with y/n.

Thankfully the sofa on Todo's living room they usually sat on was only occupied by Maki and Nobara. "Wow sis you made it on time for once without someone dragging you out the house." Maki hugged her sister tightly, "I didn't really have a choice, y/n said she would go home if I was late again." Mai, said with a bit of a whine. Nobara went for y/n. "She's giving you hell huh?" Her comment made the girl laugh. "Nah she's fine, she can be a bit of a baby." That line made Mai slap her arm playfully, even when they made digs at each other, it was all in good fun.

Y/n could see Mai out the corner of her eye scanning the room, it wasn't unusual for her to do that, but it was the fourth time the past 30 minutes they've been here. Something was definitely up with her, and when she raised her hand having finally spotted the one she was looking for, y/n was a hundred percent sure of what was going on.

"Yuuji, over here" Mai called hand in the air, a very friendly smile on her face. Yuuji eagerly walked over offering his greetings, his attention was on y/n "Hey, has my brother texted you at all?" That was an out of the blue question. Mai gave her a look "His brother?" She questioned, then looked back at Yuuji "You've got a brother?" Why did he have to say that infront of Mai, she wouldn't leave her alone until she told her everything about the guy, she was at least thankful he didn't mention a date, Sukuna probably hadn't mentioned anything to him. "Oh yeah, he's the one I went to last week and no Yuuji he hasn't, did something happen?" Mai stayed silent, so did the other girls, they planned on interrogating her later, judging by the looks they exchanged. "Oh it's nothing" Yuuji let out a breathy laugh, knowing he plotted with Geto to get under his brother's skin. Payback for the bagels he baked at 4 am was going to be sweet.

Yuuji took a seat next to Mai, who introduced him to her sister, Nobara already knew him short of and the two of them begun chatting casually. Y/n could see the chemistry between them as he complimented the dark haired girl on the way she looked tonight. She could see their eyes meeting, something more than friendliness resided in the looks they shared.

Y/n let her friend have her fun, at this point Maki and Nobara had adopted her taking shots, talking about the annoying situations that have occurred in the time they hadn't seen each other. Nobara in particular, was sharing her frustrations about men not taking her seriously as Maki's significant other and continuing to make moves on her partner. "I shut them down" Maki said proudly snaking an arm around her girlfriend's waist. "I know you do, I just want them to feel a bit threatened" Nobara's eyes drifted to the floor . "What are you talking about? Remember the time you just looked at that guy eyeing her and he mouthed 'sorry'? You're very threatening." Y/n took another shot laughing with the two girls. Her comment was quite comforting to Nobara and Maki knew that things always went Nobara's way, she just liked complaining sometimes, she was the jealous type.

Todo with Takada in hand, who arrived right after y/n and Mai, answers his door again for the multipluth time this evening, seeing the last person he expected. "I thought you were too old for house parties" he taunted at the grumpy man infront of him. "Screw you I'm 26, and I didn't come empty handed" Sukuna spoke, his tone getting a bit friendlier at the last words in his sentence. He passwd the two bottles of vodka he held to Todo. "Well come on in, Yuuji's brother is also mine" he said giving the pink haired man a friendly hug.

Sukuna's eye scanned his living room untill his eyes landed on the back of y/n's head, he headed straight her way.

Y/n heard a few girls around her making a fuss over some apparently really hot guy who just entered, but she didn't bother turning around. That was until she heard it "Huh, who would've known, you actually have friends" That voice was unmistakably his. Sukuna was here. Y/n's heart was fluttering in her chest but the alcohol in her system made it easy to come up with a comeback. "At least I don't pay mine to hang around me." She said, her voice laced with sarcasm, she still didn't turn to face him, she was frozen in place. Mai's, Maki's, Yuuji's and Nobara's eyes were wide and dancing between the two. There was for sure something going on here. Sukuna took a seat beside her casually draping an arm around the back of the sofa. "You're hurting my feelings doll, I'm not that bad" he spoke so softly, she almost got lost looking into his eyes. He looked way too good for her liking, same jewelry and eyeliner as the last time she saw him, his pink her strategically messed up, a silk black button down with the top two buttons undone, exposing his defined collarbones and the tattoos that extended to his chest and neck, black pants framing his thighs perfectly as he sat. Y/n was staring at this point, her friends were silent, taking in the image that was displayed before them. They had never seen y/n flustered or having difficulty forming words. Even Yuuji was surprised, seems like he was wrong about y/n's taste.

Sukuna was enjoying the look on her face a little more than he cared to admit, he would've taken his teasing further, but he didn't want to embarrass the girl anymore and her friends were already shocked. "Aren't you going to introduce me?" He asked her poking her cheek, and y/n could see Nobara was about to blow up.

"Right, Mai, Maki and Nobara this is Sukuna, he's um my tattoo artist?" What was she even supposed to say at this point? The guy she went on a date with and had the best make out session of her life?

Sukuna gave his hand out to the girls greeting them, he noticed his brother a few seats over who was concealing a laugh "you're here too brat" he briefly egnowledged him, Yuuji hummed back a hello in return, turning to Mai who was very eager to hear the details of y/n's and Sukuna's relationship, he sure as hell didn't look like just her tattoo artist.

"Tattoo artist? Really? you don't even have tattoos y/n" Nobara spoke, she just wanted her friend to be honest with her, if she had someone special, she could have said so, they've known each other for years. Sukuna wasn't surprised to hear that y/n hadn't shared that she got tattooed, he could tell she was a bit of a private person.

Y/n took off her jacket that she still had on from when she arrived, to show off the design to Maki and Nobara, Mai had already seen it and she was busy gossiping with Yuuji anyways. "Right, I forgot to tell you" she said, as Maki and Nobara scanned her upper arm with their eyes, so did Sukuna. He couldn't help himself, y/n looked so beautiful in his work. He wanted to cover every inch of her skin she was willing to give him, she could be his personal work of art, she already was one, but he wanted to decorate her in the best way he could and with the most beautiful art he could make. "That looks so beautiful" Maki spoke in awe, Nobara gave a little laugh "it's creepy, but it's really you. "

She took a look at Sukuna then back at y/n "It's very fitting, I don't know how to explain it." She continued.

Sukuna never took compliments that seriously, but hearing y/n's seemingly bitchy friend praise his work and the perception he had of her made him grin widely.

The four of them continued to speak, Maki and Nobara were very interested in Sukuna's line of work, Mai and Yuuji also took their turns in talking when they weren't too busy with one another. Y/n's friends were doing great with Sukuna, she thought he would be really difficult, he has a very explosive personality. Sukuna was putting in all the effort to make a good impression, both to y/n and the ones around her.

"So, did you miss me that much you came to find me?" Y/n asked once the attention was taken off of them. Mai looked to be having a deep conversation with Yuuji whereas Maki and Nobara got up to dance. "And if I did?" Sukuna spoke, his face dangerously close to hers, when did he manage to get hip to hip with her? Then again y/n had grown so comfortable around him, she didn't notice.

"Well, if that's the case, I'm glad you did come." She replied, Sukuna could tell she was a bit tipsy, else he would be making out with her on that sofa not caring who was watching.

Y/n poured herself another drink, thank god she didn't have to get up to get a refill, but Sukuna's voice stopped her movements. "Maybe you should ease up there" he said watching her fill two cups.

Y/n raised a brow at him "since where are you a party pooper? come on it ain't a party without a drink" her voice was playful as she tried passing one cup to him. Sukuna liked this y/n too, she was a bit more giggly, she smiled a bit more, "I'm driving sweetheart". Y/n was satisfied with his answer and proceeded to gulp down on both the cups she filled before Sukuna could stop her. She laughed pointing at him with her tongue out "too slow". Sukuna could only smile and pat her head. She was something else.

Somewhere along the night, Maki and Nobara disappeared and so did Yuuji and Mai. "You better tell your brother to take good care of my friend" y/n's state was getting worse, or more hilarious, it depended on how you looked at it. Sukuna would straight up laugh with some of the things she said, and he was trying his best to keep all forms of alcohol away from her, for her own good. "I don't think you should worry, Yuuji is much better than me in these kinds of things." He replied honestly, but y/n didn't necessarily see it like that. "There's no way he's that smooth" she trailed, the corners of her lips tugging upward. "Well if I didn't know any better, I'd say you liked me, didn't you think I was a dick?" Sukuna asked "Still do" her smile only grew wider.

One thing was for sure, y/n was very demanding when drunk, Sukuna left her side for the first time all night to get her some water, cause she felt 'like SpongeBob under that lamp drying out'. Not even slightly bothered by her request, Sukuna was on his way back to her, that's when he saw some guy standing infront of her trying to talk to her. Y/n even in her not very conscious state didn't tolerate people who didn't respect her "Just one song, come on it won't hurt, you're alone after all" the guy, y/n didn't care to catch the name of said "look, I don't dance, not unless the company is worth it, and I'm here with someone, leave me alone, this is getting annoying" Sukuna observed laughing to himself. He didn't feel the need to intervene yet. Y/n didn't like getting bossed around that's for sure, nor did she need a knight in shining armour to protect her, not that he would mind doing that. Sukuna casually sat down beside her again, ignoring the guy who was still standing there for some reason. That irritated him, it was enough that he tried to make a move on her, but not leaving while he was right there rubbed him the wrong way, "Here you go sweetheart" He said handing her the glass, praying that she won't drop and break it, he threw a glare at the guy who finally took the hint and left. "Thank you 'kuna." Y/n spoke, in a tone totally different from the one she had moments ago.

The nickname alone made his heart jump. Gojo was quite annoying when he called him that, but hearing the same word rolling out of y/n's tongue was completely different. Sukuna couldn't tell why he was feeling that way, he didn't care though, all he knew was that even the air smelled sweeter, when he was around her.

"You don't dance unless the company is good?" He asked, genuinely curious "well yes, if I feel comfortable I'll dance, but I don't really do it that much" she said, eyes heavy looking all over Sukuna's frame. " I see, how about we dance?" Sukuna suggested, he rarely danced himself, y/n made him want to get out of his comfort zone, hell he's already at a house party thanks to her.

"Only if you take some shots with me." She smilled at him malevolently. "You're playing dirty, who's going to take you home if I'm drunk?" Sukuna just wanted to hear her drunken logic "It probably takes a bottle for you to get drunk, you're clumsy, drunk or not, you're probably going to kill me if I get in your car".

Sukuna was full blown laughing, but she was right, her head was still not gone, she could walk and talk fine, she was just more talkative and cheerful, couple of shots wouldn't hurt, he could walk her home after since she lived close by, he remembered the way and then walk back home himself. She also gave him the cutest look he'd ever seen, how could he deny her?

"Ok you win" he raised his hands in defeat and y/n couldn't be happier. She poured 4 shots for them, which they quickly consumed and they were off to dance.

She never pictured him as a dancer, y/n saw Sukuna as the very cool looking dude standing on the bar, probably drinking whiskey with a bit of ice.

Looks can be deceiving, Sukuna was spinning her around, their bodies were pressed together, guiding each other to the beat. Eyes were meeting, body heat was exchanged, they fit like puzzle pieces even like this. Y/n kept looking at the exposed skin of his neck, why did he have to look like that and be this close, her face only grew warmer once her eyes met his and then dropped to his lips. Its not that Sukuna didn't want to kiss her, he would most certainly prefer her to be sober and remember it clearly the next day.

Those last two shots y/n had, in addition to Sukuna's body against hers, made her vision a bit blurry and her knees weak. "Hey doll, everything ok? You with me?" He shook her lightly by the shoulders, he could tell she was growing tired and he noticed how her demeanor changed. "Mhm, I'm sleepy 'kuna" there she goes again, making his heart skip beats. Y/n would be giving him so much shit had she realised she made him feel like that. "Ok then, how about we take you home ?" Sukuna's voice was so mellow, almost like he was talking to a toddler.

He guided her out of the crowded house, Todo was nowhere to be found, so Sukuna couldn't really let him know he was leaving.

Y/n was leaning on him, walking slowly down the street towards her place, but she abruptly stopped and sat down.

"What's wrong?" Sukuna asked, his sound as mellow as before. She was down right adorable, sitting there with a pout of her face .

"My feet hurt" y/n complained, dramatically throwing her arms around, if it was any other person Sukuna would've droped them to fend for themselves. "Really? That's sad" he replied, dropping down to her level, she only nodded, women's shoes are the most uncomfortable thing in the world. Sukuna scooped her up in his arms and carried her bridal style the rest of the way, he couldn't have her complaining and it wasn't like she would remember much either. With her arms wrapped securely around his neck, y/n could feel the warmth creeping up her neck all the way up to her ears, she didn't see the satisfied smile Sukuna wore.

Today went a lot better than he expected. So well that the tiredness got to y/n before they reached her apartment. Sukuna watched as she fell asleep in his arms. What a strange girl, she had both shyness and attitude, she was dancing her heart out no more than 15 minutes ago yet she still managed to fall asleep as he carried her.

Reaching her building, luckily the main entrance was unlocked. Sukuna took a peek at her, he couldn't bring himself to wake her up, she looked so peaceful, but unfortunately he had to. "Hey, which floor are you on?" He whispered softly, that was enough to shake y/n awake. "Third" she whispered back. Sukuna took the elevator up, and he finally reached her hallway, he only wished she didn't get her floor wrong or it would look like he was trying to break into someone else's house. "Doll, can you point your door for me? I'll put you down for a bit, where are your keys?" Y/n pointed at her door, handed Sukuna her keys and groaned as he set her down to unlock it for her. "You're such a brat" he pointed out swinging the door open, her annoyed face looked even cutter under the barely lit hallway.

Lord knows how Sukuna managed to find the light switches in the dark but he made it, y/n looked completely out of it now. He picked her back up and tried a few doors to find her bedroom. He gently layed her on the mattress. Y/n groaned again and said something about being uncomfortable. Of course she was uncomfortable, with her clothes still on from going out, there's no way she wasn't.

He shouldn't care right? He should just let her be and go home, but Sukuna could already tell she would have an awful nights sleep and he wanted her to rest properly. "Were do you keep sleep clothes" he asked, y/n pointed lazily at some drawer. After briefly digging in the drawer, he took out a pair of sweat pants and a hoodie for her.

He reached her frame again, undoing her shoes, sliding them off, next he prompted y/n with her side resting on the headboard so he could have her sit up with her legs dangling of the side of her bed. His hands found the rim of her shirt, her voice stopped him "don't look ok?" Her voice was hardly above a whisper. "I won't look"

"Promise?" She asked holding out her pinky

"promise" he stated locking it.

Sukuna averted his eyes from her body and helped her into her comfy clothes. Only one thing remained "Now come on time to get your makeup off"

"Nooo, I want to sleep" she complained loudly, dropping her body backwards on the bed. "Come on, it's not good for your skin, it will just be a minute, just be good for me" he said grabbing her hand, but y/n turned her head away. That's when Sukuna threw her over his shoulder, the most she could do was weakly hit his back and tell at him to put her down.

Sukuna sat her somewhere in her bathroom, while she still mumbled about being sleepy. He got a washcloth wet, and took a look at the products in her cabinet, she surely had an oil cleanser he just had to find it... bingo.

He pushed her hair out of the way and gently applied and massaged the product on to her skin, giving her instructions to keep her eyes and mouth close, he was extra careful not to cut her with his nails, then he used the washcloth to remove all the make-up that melted off. Sukuna also wore liner, not all the time but often enough to know that some things didn't come off with soap and water. He takes care of himself, his skin, his hair, his nails, everything. He knows a bit more than he's willing to share. Next he followed the same steps with her cleaner, y/n was enjoying herself, half asleep under his touch. He finished everything by applying a serum and a moisturizer on her face. "You've got the cheap stuff." He joked. "Hey it works" y/n defended as he picked her up once more.

This time he layed her under the covers, he pulled them up over her body, looking at her with plain adoration, he leaned down to press a kiss on her forehead.

"Sleep tight, I'll text you." He whispered in her ear, turning around to leave. A hand tugged oh his wrist, the same way he had done to her a couple days ago. Y/n was looking at him with pleading eyes "please stay" she almost begged, "are you sure? Its really late" he said, y/n nodded patting the spot beside her, he couldn't say no to those eyes. He quickly got rid of his shoes and dress shirt, he disappeared to the bathroom to take off his eyeliner and got under the covers with her.

Y/n curled up next to him, laying her head on his chest, taking in all his warmth and scent while listening to his heartbeat, his arm was wrapped securely around her.

" Can I ask you something?" Y/n's voice broke the silence. "Didn't you want to sleep?" Sukuna teased, and y/n took the opportunity to ask anyway. "Why do you like me?" What kind of question is this? Sukuna blamed the fact that she was a bit out it. She had no reason to be insecure, she was stunning and she also had a personality to back up her looks. "Let's see... you're kind of a badass, no one really talks back to me like you do, you're quite easy on the eyes too" what he said was very true, but he was falling for the little details too. The way she picked mindlessly at her food as she talked when he took her out, or the way her eyes sparkled when something peaked her interest. Even her drunken self had him feeling things he never did.

"How come you were single? Judging by your friends it's been a while" The words came out of his mouth before he could stop them, but y/n didn't give any signs of being bothered by his assumption. "Honestly, I don't want someone to fall out of love and leave me behind" Drunken words are sober thoughts. Sukuna didn't want to ask if that had happened to her before, he didn't care, he would do better than whoever hurt her.

More moments passed with him rubbing comforting circles on her back, he was sure she was asleep, her breath was slow and steady against his chest. "I wonder, what would you say if I asked you to be mine?" Sukuna whispered, staring up at her ceiling. "I'd say yes, airhead" y/n mumbled. Sukuna's eyes widened, she wasn't supposed to hear that. "I'll make sure to ask you soon then" he said, y/n looked up at him, this time he couldn't help himself and captured her lips in his, in a very slow passionate kiss. It didn't last long but it was enough to keep y/n's head spinning around with him running through it. "Sleep already, brat"

"okay 'kuna".

The light coming in, beaming through her curtains, woke y/n from a very peaceful sleep, now all she felt was the vodka she consumed the night before. Her head was pounding hard, she reached for her phone on her nightstand. Instead of her phone, her hand made contact with a piece of paper.

Good morning doll.

You're most definitely feeling like shit, but don't worry you didn't do anything too embarrassing. Unfortunately I had to go to work early and you looked cute sleeping, I didn't want to wake you. There are pain killers next to you, you must have a hell of a headache. Don't forget to eat, I made breakfast for you in the kitchen (with all I could manage to find, you should go grocery shopping more often). Text me or I might think you died in your sleep. Have a wonderful day y/n.

- Sukuna

PS I took a peek in one of your notebooks. I was right, your handwriting is really fucking bad.

Of course he had to be his usual smug self, y/n found herself laughing at the words scribbled on the paper that was obviously ripped out of one of her notebooks. His handwriting was as pretty as his drawings, so aesthetically pleasing. He had even taken time to doodle coffee cups, and some trees at the bottom of the page.

The events from the previous night were starting to flood back to her head head. She took the pain killers Sukuna left out for her, he was kind enough to place a glass of water on her nightstand too. Y/n couldn't believe Sukuna not only stayed over, but he also put in so much effort for her, he certainly didn't look like the type to do so.

Walking in her kitchen, what she witnessed, exceeded all her expectations. When she read breakfast she thought he made her a sandwich, which she would've been extremely grateful for. Sukuna had gone all out, from pancakes, to French toast, an omelet and even her coffee served. She just stood there looking at her table, mouth almost hanging.

Her phone buzzed in the pocket of her sweat pants.

You should've told me you were going out with Yuuji's hot brother. I would've never guessed that's your type.

Mai seemed to be in a mood to tease her.

You're right I should've told you, your turn, where did you and Yuuji run off to last night?

Y/n laughed knowing it was going to take a while to get a response. She sat down looking at all the choices she had, wondering what to pick. It's safe to say everything was as delicious as Sukuna.

I'm impressed. You draw, you cook AND you didn't burn down my house, I'm very thankful for that (breakfast was delicious too).

Sukuna, stared down at his phone, all the stress he had two nights ago long forgotten. Only thing that remained was to get y/n right back in his chair.

Happy to hear you're alive and kicking and you enjoy my cooking. I've got to go through, some dickbag wants me to do a cover-up. I'll talk to you later.

He dealt with this client in an unusually polite manner. Y/n had brighten his morning from the moment he woke up next to her.

Bonus Domain shenanigans: "Yuuji was right, I had to push him" Geto said to an agitated Gojo, who wanted to get under Sukuna's skin for a little longer. "Then hopefully he will bring her over, that would for sure be fun, he's going to get so worked up if we give her any attention." Gojo was rubbing his hands together at the thought. "I don't think that's a good idea. I'm not that worried about what Sukuna will do to you, we've both seen y/n, she doesn't even take his shit, I think she'd hit you." Nanami pointed out ."Well I haven't yet seen her, Yuuji said she was nice to him." Megumi joined the conversation remembering his friend talking about the girl, he had zoned out for half of it though. "I haven't seen her either, I did hear her though, she doesn't sound like she would let you pull something like that to him" Geto spoke again. "Nah she looked friendly, we can for sure make him foam at the mouth" Gojo plotted. "I can guarantee, she will rip of your head of if you try your shit." Sukuna was sure of it too.

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fayeimara · 3 years

Text

Suna Rintaro || Found You | First Meeting

SUMMARY. What happens when your elementary school daughter arrives home unexpectedly with a surprise in tow?

PAIRING. You x Suna Rintaro

GENRE. Can I even write anything but fluff for this man?

WARNINGS. Suggestive, sexual innuendos & references, kissing - let me know if I need to add anything else

Haikyuu! Anthology Series | It's Fate When Your Kids Are Friends

SUNA | First Meeting > Second Date > Third Time's The Charm > Four Is Our Family

You're on your way back to your study after grabbing a snack from the kitchen when the sound of a key in the lock of your front door halts your steady steps. There aren't many people with a key to your house that would be visiting you at this time.

Even more concerning, however, is the light soprano of your daughter's voice echoing from the foyer to reach your ears, prompting you to quickly turn and rush to meet her at the door.

"Ryoka! What are you doing here?" You skid around the corner, already calling out in concern, "How did you even get home by your-"

You cut yourself off as you meet not only one pair of eyes, the copy of yours that you expect, but a second solemn pair, both wide in small faces that peer up at you.

"Mommy!" Your daughter's look of surprise and chagrin melts into a sheepish smile as she throws herself forward into your already extended arms. "I missed you!"

You hold her small frame close for a moment before gently pushing her out with your hands on her shoulders. "I missed you too, sweetheart. But you need to tell me what you're doing here and, more importantly, how you got here."

"Well school ended early today and.." She hesitates, peering up with big eyes and a small pout, "we thought we'd just walk home together."

You resist the urge to close your eyes and place a hand to your head in exasperation, aware that even at the young age of 7 years old, she's incredibly sensitive to your reactions. Instead you look at the little boy standing patiently behind her and ask, "And who's this?"

"This is my friend, Kiyoshi!" She's a little subdued, likely aware that she'll be hearing more from you later, but perks back up as she pulls away and grabs his hand to draw him further in your shared home.

"Hello Kiyoshi. Do your parents know where you are?"

He's definitely more guileless than your own daughter, answering directly and honestly in a quiet tone, "My dad's at work and my nanny was supposed to pick me up when school ended."

Okay, so clearly neither parent nor temporary guardian are aware that this boy is no longer at the school. They'll be frantic. Just as you're about to ask several more questions, hopefully leading to a quick resolution, you get a call, screen indicating it's your daughter's school, so you have both kids move into the living room as you pick up.

You're not too happy to hear about the early release at this point, given the lack of heads up and you make sure to give the school a piece of your mind, letting them know you'd be by at another point to discuss this further, before hanging up. If you're this upset and you know your daughter is home safe, you can't imagine what Kiyoshi's father is feeling at this point."

Crouching down in front of your daughter's friend, you wait until you're eye level with a patient, unhurried expression on your face, "Kiyoshi, do you know your father or nanny's phone number?"

He answers with a small nod, reciting the digits so clearly from diligent practice that you have to smile as you type it in and then stand back up to make the call, "Ryoka, why don't you show him your toys while mommy makes a call? Only the ones here in the living room where I can see you, okay?"

Your daughter dutifully nods but you catch the smug smile of success she throws her friend, likely having planned this improvised playtime with him. You'll definitely be having a serious talk with her later about safety and responsible decisions but you move slightly away for now, keeping an eye on the kids while the phone rings out.

"Suna." A deep voice answers on the other end, a little clipped but mostly unreadable.

"Hi.. Suna-san- I assume I'm speaking with Kiyoshi's father?"

There's a pause and then the voice gets sharper, "If you're calling back from the school, I don't want to hear it right now. I'm leaving now to find my son, but you can expect to hear ba-"

"I'm not from the school. My daughter is friends with your son and he's safe at my house."

"He's- he's with you." There's finally emotion other than anger and annoyance, it's an odd sort of relief and slight confusion mixed with a new wariness, "And who exactly are you?"

"I'm L/n F/n, as I mentioned, your son and my daughter are friends. I was pretty surprised to see them both show up at my house just minutes ago and have a bone to pick with the school too. But I would have wanted to know that she was okay before anything else if the positions were reversed so I'm calling you now. You said you were leaving work? Your son is safe, Suna-san, and he will be while we wait for you here. I'll text you my address."

As you're speaking you've already pulled your phone away to quickly text your address to the number you're on the line with. You can still hear if he speaks though but there's another pause from him and then, "Got it, thank you. You said they just showed up? How did they get there?"

"I'm pretty sure they walked, but I was going to cover that after I spoke with you. How far are you?"

His tone is back to unreadable but you think it's calm rather than neutral. "It's about a 30 minute drive, I'll be there in 20."

"Please don't rush, Kiyoshi is safe here. If it's okay with you, I'll make them snacks while we wait. There's no really no need to drive recklessly." It'll be easy to put something small together for the kids from the dinner you'd prepped for earlier.

There's amusement colouring his voice, "Thanks for the concern, L/n-san. I'll be there in 25, then."

You chuckle at the small compromise and there's a moment of silence between you both until you think to ask, "If you haven't left yet, do you want to quickly say hi over facetime?"

"You want to videochat?" He sounds confused again and you laugh in response.

"I meant with your son. You know, to check in on him."

He pauses yet again and then the amusement is back, "It should be fine.. unless you're going to tell me you're holding him hostage or something."

"Yeah, sure, or something." You roll your eyes with your dry response. What do you even say to that coming from a complete stranger? "We'll see you soon, then."

"L/n-san." You lift the phone you were lowering back to your ear when you hear him call out to you, "Thank you again."

"No need."

"Not everyone would have reacted as quickly and efficiently. Or maybe even bothered."

You can't imagine what parent wouldn't have been compelled to react in a similar manner but you don't say anything, uncomfortable accepting thanks for such a seemingly human reaction.

He seems to either understand or realize you don't have a response and you hear him chuckle lightly, the sound tugging at your own lips in sheepish acceptance, then he finally replies, "I'll see you soon, then."

You end your call and turn to fully face the two kids again. They've already managed to create a messy pile of toys they've pulled out and then discarded from Ryoka's toy box. Almost as if they feel you watching, they both stop their odd conversation about monsters and cats, and turn to face you simultaneously.

You suppress your smile at their adorable wide-eyed expressions and ask, "Who's hungry?"

After the snacks are quickly devoured, the kids try to convince you to play hide-and-seek and, thinking nothing of it since Suna-san should be arriving soon to pick Kiyoshi up, you tell them you'll all play later and convince them to build a Lego structure instead. Happy to have them work on an activity that keeps them occupied in one place for the remainder of their time together, the time passes by quickly as you help them put together their incredibly creative vision.

When the bell finally sounds through your house, precisely 23 minutes after your call, you find yourself opening the door and looking up to a much taller, and much younger man than you'd expected. He actually seems to be about your age, in his mid-twenties, which is surprising because you'd thought you were one of the youngest parents at your daughter's school.

There's a quick look of surprise that likely mirrors yours on Suna-san's face before it's replaced smoothly with a polite expression. You pull away from his startling, keen eyes to step back and gesture for him to enter your foyer as you welcome him, equally politely, "Please, come inside, Suna-san. They're in the living room."

He hesitates only a moment before stepping into your home, stopping again to toe off his shoes before following you deeper, into the living room. The sounds of the kids chatting reaches you both well before you enter and you notice him watching his son with a small smile on his face before he catches you looking. His only response is the quirk of an eyebrow as if daring you to say something.

You only smile and call out, "Ryoka, it's time to say goodbye to Kiyoshi. His father's here to take him home."

The two kids look up, smiles fading as their eyes tear up. It's safe to say neither you nor Suna expect what comes next, as both children break out in tears.

Suna exchanges a surprised look with you, then crouches down with his arms stretched out, voice soothing as he calls to his son, "Kiyo, come here. Daddy missed you. Didn't you miss me too?"

You're surprised at the sweet, gentle tone from the intimidating man, even more so by the pure affection he easily displays for his son. He's nothing at all like his first impression on the phone, the cold, clipped tone nowhere to be found. You relax a little, not having noticed the uncomfortable tension that had slowly crept in by the thought of inviting an unknown man into your home, even if for the most innocent of reasons.

It doesn't work to relax his son, however, who only breaks out into unbelievably loud wails, particularly unexpected from the quiet boy you'd gotten used to over the past half hour. Ryoka's cries rise with Kiyoshi's and their chubby arms encircle each other as if to send home the point that you'd have to literally pry them apart.

You're pulled from your thoughts when Suna looks up at you a little helplessly, also seeming to be thrown for a loop, "It looks like Kiyo has grown very attached to your daughter. I'm sorry, I can just pick him up and go but..."

He trails off and you find even more respect rising for the man, he's clearly trying not to just completely run his son's life on a schedule or in a way that works only for him.

"But you don't want to break his heart when he's having so much fun?" You finish his sentence with a grin that prompts a self deprecating smile from him.

"Yeah, great parenting, huh?"

"It's really different parent to parent and, trust me, no one's an expert." You pause as you consider an idea, his peridot eyes steady on yours as if he can see you might have a solution to present. Impressive perception, and patience too.

You have a positive vibe and good feeling, so you don't ponder it too long before offering, "Why don't we let the kids play a little longer? They still have an abundance of energy and excitement from the improvised change in their daily schedule but once they've tired themselves out, I'm sure it'll be easier to separate them."

It's Suna's turn to pause, still holding your gaze with a carefully neutral one himself as he contemplates your offer. "I don't want Kiyo and I to be an inconvenience..."

"Not at all, it's just me and Ryoka as it is and dinner's already prepped so we'll just play some games with them and wait them out."

It's just as you say the word dinner that you hear a low, hungry rumble and there's another moment of silence but this time, you only see the tips of Suna's ears, which tint red as he hangs his head for a few seconds.

Biting your lip to hold back your laugh, you add, "You and Kiyo are more then welcome to join us for dinner first. I only gave them light snacks before and if there's one other thing than playtime that makes children more at ease, it's food. As I mentioned, it's already prepared and there's more than enough for four."

He keeps his head bent for another second before finally raising it and with the motion, he stands back up to his full height so you're tilting your head back to look up at him again. His smile is both sheepishly thankful and appreciative when he accepts, "If it's really not too much trouble, we would love to. Thank you."

The children cheer, tears still drying on their faces, but it seems like they've actually been eavesdropping through their shared tantrum and have grasped that playtime is extended. What an eventful day for them.

Suna offers his help but everything's pretty much ready so you put him to work setting the table and helping the kids wash their hands. He's equally gentle and no different with Ryoka, chuckling and treating her like royalty when she insists she's a princess from her most recent favourite movie. He's got them talking about the structure they're building and the two almost seem to finish each other's thoughts, eliciting a grin from both you and Suna when you share another look.

When you're seated at the table, across from Suna with Ryoka at your side and Kiyoshi across her, you notice how relaxed and comfortable the atmosphere is, enjoying it for the space of several heartbeats before realizing you forgot to offer the man a drink.

"Suna-san, would you like a beer? Or something else to drink?"

"I'm good, thanks, I can't really drink right now." He must see the inquisitive look slide on and quickly wipe off your face because he laughs and elaborates, "I play volleyball, professionally, so I have to be strict with my diet even if it's off season."

Your mouth drops in surprise, his stature and build making perfect sense now. Of course, how fitting. Your tone is heavy with respect when you reply, "That's incredible! I was a setter in high school so I know the discipline that comes with going pro, I could never have thought to pursue it professionally. You must be really dedicated."

So it would seem the light blush doesn't just kiss his ears when he's flustered or embarrassed, you can see the flush dust across his cheeks, however faint. It's pretty adorable, not a word you thought you'd use to describe this towering man but here you are, eyes sparkling and a soft smile teasing your lips.

He pauses before placing the meat platter back down in the center, eyes definitely not shy as he studies your expression with a small smile of his own gracing his lips. "Ah..thanks. And you can drop the honorifics by the way."

You already have in your head so you're glad he brought it up because you would have hated to slip up accidentally. "You as well then."

There's a moment of silence in which you think to ask, "How about any alternatives? I've got wine but also various other options if you want to take a look through the fridge."

"A glass of wine should be good, actually. Thank you."

"Mommy, can I have some too?" Ryoka looks up at you with pleading puppy dog eyes which has Kiyoshi attempting to match the look aimed at his dad with a low, "Me too?"

You both laugh and Suna tries to explain that wine isn't good for growing kids but you shake your head at him, prompting him to arch an expectant eyebrow while he waits for you to handle the denial.

"Ryoka, Kiyo, the wine mommies and daddies drink would just make you feel sick and bad. But I have something better for little princes and princesses that even adults like your dad and I aren't allowed to drink. Would you both like to have that instead?

Thank god they're not at an age to question every word out of your mouth just yet because they cheer for this 'special drink' so you move back over to the kitchen to pour it out, along with Suna who offers to help but by the playful look in his eyes, he's just curious to see what you'll pull together.

You direct him to the glasses and bottle opener as you take two plastic, stemmed glasses that mimic wine glasses in different colours and pour out cranberry juice in each. You hear Suna's chuckle and turn to find him already holding an open bottle in one hand and two glasses caught between his fingers by their stems in the other.

Wow, he looks really good in your kitchen, doesn't he? It's your turn to blush and he doesn't miss a thing, eyes tracking the heat as it flushes your face before his gaze drops to your lips, his own tilting from a grin to a teasing smirk.

Your only defense is to roll your eyes and turn to head back to the table, where the kids are now picking through the items they like versus the ones they don't and trading their unwanted portions off onto each other's plates. Okay, and that's even more adorable. It's only been weeks since they started classes and likely met, how have they become so close so fast?

"Cute, huh?" You startle at the low whisper in your ear, a small puff of air caressing the shell of your ear, when you realize Suna stopped right behind you to observe the same scene. His body heat seems to seek you out once you're fully aware of him, instilling you with the crazy urge to just lean back into his broad chest as he continues to whisper to you softly. Or just wrap his arms around you and hold you tight.

Wait, what- You stop yourself from looking back to meet his gaze, because you'd definitely expose your thoughts then but you have a feeling he's very aware of exactly what he's doing and not opposed to the reaction you just had. Either way, you just met this man today, right?

Ugh. You move forward instead, placing a cup in front of each kid, both reaching for it instantly. Ryoka tastes hers right away but Kiyo examines it first before tentatively attempting a tiny sip. And it works!

Each of their faces twists slightly at the tangy taste of the cranberry juice but seem to have picked up enough to know that 'wine' isn't exactly a sweet drink so both exchange a look before smoothing their faces out into haughty imitations of bored satisfaction. Haha. Little con artists.

You and Suna are grinning at each other too, as you each reclaim your seats and he pours out the wine for you both. The conversation flows easily once you're all settled and digging in, kids chiming in with random questions or requests for help with certain foods, but then zoning out constantly as they talk about their plans for the structure and something about cats again, as if it's just the two of them at the table.

Suna asks about your time playing volleyball and you ask him about his, noticing he has the same passion for the sport as you but definitely also an impressive dedication. He talks about his mindset in high school compared to now and you talk about your chosen vocation.

You both even have a chance to pull the full story about the events from earlier in the day, kids explaining that there was an unplanned early release, you and Suna putting two and two together to realize that the school did mess up big time. You both put it aside to deal with later and when he asks what you've covered with the kids already, you mention you didn't think it was appropriate to give Ryoka a lecture in front of Kiyoshi, keeping in mind that Suna might want to handle the discussion differently with his son.

He seems taken aback in a good way, throwing a very appreciative look your way and states that you're an incredibly considerate person and an amazing mom, prompting a full blush to work it's way back onto your face as your daughter throws her little arms as far around you as she can, agreeing very vocally with the amazing mom part.

You have to send her a teasing but firm look, adding that you're definitely saving a lecture on safety and responsibility for later since they shouldn't have left school grounds without an adult they know and trust. When Suna sees Kiyo's small look up at him, it's as if all he needs is a look to convey the same sentiment to his son but he places a hand on his head to ruffle his hair in a soft gesture.

It's near the end of dinner that conversation about each child's other parent arises. Your answer with a nonchalant shrug is to easily state, "Like I said before, it's just me and Ryoka."

Suna borrows a page from your book with a cheeky smile, right down to imitating your casual shrug and stating, "Likewise, just me and Kiyo."

There's nowhere to look but the steady gaze of his piercing eyes. Actually there are many other places but you're drawn in by a seemingly mutual pull.

"Mommy!" You're daughter's call has your eyes finally glancing away to meet hers instead, "You promised we could play hide-and-seek later!"

"Oh," You blink in shock at the long memory of children, "I did say that. But.."

"Please?" It's Kiyo's small voice that makes you pause and look towards Suna with wide eyes.

Oh, he's trouble because he's looking back at you and rounding out the group as the third pair of sparkling, mischievous eyes as he too asks with a teasing lilt, "Please?"

You have to laugh and agree, but only to a few rounds and only after the dishes have been cleaned. So Suna helps the kids wash their hands again before joining you at the sink, waving away your objections about being a guest and insisting he return the favour of an incredible meal.

Between the two of you, you make quick work of the dishes and it's time to deliver on your promise. You start of as 'it', counting down loudly by the front door while the kids rush off with Suna to find hiding spots around the house. You make sure to find Suna first and he trails after you as you hunt down the darling little treasures, finding Kiyoshi last. He really is good at hiding and staying quiet.

Suna's next and then Kiyoshi, then finally Ryoka is caught first and it's her turn to find the three of you. You follow the middle blocker's lead in allowing Kiyoshi to settle on a hiding spot and when he gestures to a closet in one of the guest rooms you quickly tuck yourself into the empty space.

But it seems the little boy has either run out of ideas of places to hide, or he's feeling rushed by Ryoka's faster countdown because he pushes his dad in with you and, frantically looking around after studying the lack of remaining space between the two adults, closes the door instead and you hear his little feet patter off.

Leaving you and Suna almost pressed together in the small, dark space. The silence between the two of you is heavy with restrained tension, the flirty comments and teasing glances throughout the evening hitting you full force as you realize the unintentionally intimate position you're in.

There's a thin beam of light streaking in from the crack between the doors that falls across Suna's face, making his already ethereal eyes appear even more unearthly, like glowing gems in the shadows that mask the rest of his face. They're trained right back on you as if he can see clearly in the dark, his intent gaze probing your own.

"I'd have suggested buying me dinner first..." His voice rings clear with mischievous amusement, quiet enough to reach your ears through the heavy gloom, "but I guess you already did."

You bite your lip to stop your smile, trying to shake off your overwhelming awareness of the man a breath away from you, "Isn't that supposed to be my line?"

Suna's chuckle is low, sending curious shivers resounding through you and his husky response succeeds in spiking your temperature, "If you want it to be. Or we could just save that part for later."

"Later, then." Why is it that your voice sounds so seductively throaty?! Is that really you?

In the inky darkness, all your other senses are on high alert so you almost jump when you feel his fingers brush at yours, trying to calm your racing pulse to no avail, as they tangle with yours oh so briefly. Then he's sliding them lightly up, brushing past your sensitive wrists, skating over your arms and shoulders and leaving a trail of goosebumps in their wake before one slides under the fall of your hair, to curve around the nape of your neck.

While the fingers there tangle into your hair, gentle pressure drawing you forward and up on your toes, the other hand only caresses the side of your neck before finally settling softly to cup your cheek. Is this really happening? With a quiet but charming man who was all but a stranger to you until today?

Any further questions slip from your mind and you only have a second to register the smallest shift of his head before his lips are softly pressing down on yours. Instead of butterflies or tingles, you feel as if the very floor beneath your feet tilts, disorienting you further in the inky darkness. But it doesn't matter much when his arms slide around you to gather you close, eliminating the already laughable amount of space between you.

Suna finally deepens the kiss when you give in to the urge to press yourself closer, a new ferocity seeming to overtake you both as you each devour the other. You have no idea where he ends and you begin, only focused on the sensational moment, as you chase each other's lips in the darkness.

It could have been seconds or minutes, or longer still, but you've lost track as you match his intensity. The desire only deepens when he elicits a deep groan, drawn out by your delicate bite on his lower lip and reverberating through you like am electric current. His grip in your hair tightens and you feel almost delirious, caught in this ardent spell.

You two finally separate for air, short gasps from you both gradually slowing until it's silent again. There's a new tension but also an undeniable relief in the air between you. You feel compelled to say something so you hastily drop the first thought that pops into your head.

"Talk about seven minutes in heaven."

He laughs, louder this time, as if he's forgotten why you're both hiding there in the closet in the first place. To be honest, so did you for a couple minutes there. And you suppose it probably only has been that long, an assumption he corroborates with his response. "Can I get the full seven, then?"

But before you can respond, the closet doors are yanked open with a dramatic move that can only be your daughter, her voice happily calling out her delightful victory, "Found you!"

You send a wry look Suna's way as your eyes slowly adjust to the light, "I'm sure your laugh just now gave our spot away."

He places a hand to his chest, acting wounded with a sad look thrown at Ryoka who only nods excitably in response. Kiyoshi is standing behind her with a smile on his face, proud that it took longer than usual and he makes it a point to state, "I gave them that spot. It was my idea."

They start to walk away with her congratulating him at being a hide and seek master, her acknowledgment prompting a change in their focus to discussing classic versus strategic spots at school. You're thankful for the moment to completely regain your composure and you make sure to settle your expression into something nonchalant when you look back over at Suna.

Yeah, you're probably not fooling him if that teasing smirk is any indication of his keen awareness.

"Suna, that-"

"Rintaro."

"What?"

"That's my name. Rintaro."

"Oh I- That wouldn't be very appropriate." You realize the irony too late as the rebuttal slips automatically from your slips.

His eyebrow raises in a sardonic salute, both of you aware that you're each well past the point of being worried about that now.

"Call me Rin, then, or any variation. But don't kiss me like that and then call me Suna." He sounds torn somewhere between teasing and serious but you understand the sentiment.

Licking your suddenly dry lips, conscious of the speedy pace your.. relationship with this man has been moving, you don't give yourself a chance to hesitate before you respond, "Then call me Y/n."

That slow, answering smile is everything you didn't know you wanted. You're not going to question this unexpected attraction. It's mutual, it's consuming, and it's something you don't think you can walk away from at this point. You're both adults as it is and, it seems, both in silent agreement to let this unfold as it may.

"Daddy," Kiyo pokes his head back into the room, "You're it this time! Hurry up."

Suna walks ahead to pick his son up and swing him in the air, asking, "Weren't you caught first, kiddo?"

"Yeah, but I'm tagging you in because I don't want to be it this round." He aims wide, earnest eyes at his dad. Suna chuckles, likely at the whimsical but simple reasoning, but unsurprisingly complies.

"Okay, but this is the last round, then. And you all better find some really great spots to hide." With a brief pause just before he walks out of the room, he looks back over his shoulder to you, gaze holding yours steady with a confident smirk, "I'm really good at getting what I'm after."

You're left alone to digest that pointed declaration, holding your hand to your warm cheeks for a quick moment before dropping them and following the others out.

As promised, you all play one more round in which you're found first, probably by design, if the challenging smirk Suna throws your way is any indication. Then Ryoka and Kiyoshi are found in equally short order, the latter claiming the title of ultimate winner - at least for today's game, as Ryoka makes a point to stubbornly state.

The kids are still really energetic, remnants from the excitement of the game, so you settle them down to continue their Lego project with the hopes it'll help them wind down quickly. For additional guarantee, you also set a children's movie to play in the background, hoping it'll catch their attention and hold it long enough to help finally relax them.

Suna joins you on the couch, handing you another glass of wine while he settles in just beside you so that his side is as close to pressed up against yours that he thinks he can get away with. Not that you're complaining, no, but it is very distracting when his thigh shifts against yours or his arm moves to settle on the couch behind you.

It's distracting every time he makes a comment in between the silent moments, teasing remarks that steal your attention for long stretches after he's done speaking. It's distracting when you think you're both engaged in pretending to watch the movie, only for his breath to brush your ear whenever he leans in to speak.

It's distracting when he tucks a lock of your hair behind your ear before letting his next playful words slip from his tempting lips. And it's distracting when you look over to make a comment of your own and find him already studying you.

You wonder what he sees, but it's undeniable that his interest in you seems to only get stronger rather than wane. You feel the same, undoubtedly drawn and inconceivably connected to this man you've known for hours. It feels more like you've known him for years.

Finally winding down near the end of the movie, Ryoka and Kiyoshi move to the couch, one on each lap and holding hands between them as they start to slump down with heavy, sleepy eyes.

"I'm sad to say, I think it's time for Kiyo and I to head out." Suna's caught it too, the kids are well past the capability of throwing a tantrum again. But even more so, they're both happily sated with their time today, left with great memories of a fun, impromptu play date.

It's time for them to leave, and you and Ryoka see them off to the door.

As he helps Kiyoshi with his shoes, Suna thanks you once again, sincerely and without motive, "Thank you so much for everything today, Y/n."

"Me too, but as I said before, don't thank me for any of it."

"Hm. Well, it wasn't really a great situation to start, but I'm glad with the way it turned out. Meeting you is something I can't regret." His smile is flirtatious but sweet, and you do get butterflies now, finding yourself at a momentary loss for words.

You're thankfully both distracted once the kids move to give each other hugs and when you and Suna comment on their closeness, Ryoka simply states, "Yeah, of course. He's my brother now, right Kiyo?"

"Mhm. We both said we wanted a brother or sister-"

"So now we have each other!"

That's so completely adorable. You glance back over to Suna, who's already looking at you with amusement. Children can be so heartbreakingly precious.

Of course, Suna just has to comment, trademark smirk right back on his face, "Brother and sister, huh? Sounds good to me. What do you think, mom?"

Did he really? Just.. wow. You're definitely red all over, that was so highly suggestive on so many levels. You're okay with the fast pace that swept you off your feet today, but really- acting like co-parents... buy a girl dinner first. Damn.

"I think it's great you two have such a strong bond. You'll keep watching out for each other, yes?"

They enthusiastically nod their agreement and you send a challenging look Suna's way to see if there are any more awkward comments he wants to drop on you before the night is over. He takes pity with a small smile though, sending you a playful wink before turning to open the door with Kiyo's hand slipping in his.

They both wish you and Ryoka a good night as her own hand finds yours and two of you watch them walk over to, and settle in, Suna's car before you finally close and lock the door. Looking down at your daughter with a gentle smile, you say, "We'll save the talk about your choices from earlier today for tomorrow. But I hope you had a good day, munchkin."

"Yes, yes! Thank you so much, mommy!" She wraps her arms around your legs as you place a soft hand on her head, "I love you!"

"I love you too, baby. Let's get you to bed. Why don't you go pick out your pajamas for the night while mommy quickly finishes up here?"

She nods before running off to her room while you go over to the living room to turn off the TV and lights. When you're placing your wine glass in the sink, thinking of the moment Suna had brought it to the couch for you as if he somehow knew what you might want, you hear a text come in from your phone.

A/N: Okay so this is the final draft of a scenario that's been taking some space in my head every night when I'm trying to get some sleep. It was initially planned as a set of short scenarios for my Fayevourites (you can find the link to the anthology series up above, the other character concepts are explained there) but when I started writing Suna's story, it stretched much longer than anticipated. He has a habit of doing that to me but regardless, all it means is I've had to change some ideas and break the rest up into more manageable chapters. That said, there are three more chapters I plan to release. I'm hoping to start working on the other characters for this series first to keep it even, but I'll basically go where my writing takes me (: I hope you all enjoyed reading this one as much as I enjoyed writing it <3

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idyllicentropies · 2 years

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Renegade

Hello!!! This is something I came up with last night on my way home from work. I was so excited about it I couldn’t wait to write it. So please, enjoy some angsty hotchniss and sad Emily.

Title: Renegade

Word Count: 2104

Chapter Title: Timing in Times Like These

"Are we really going to talk about timing in times like these?"

Emily Prentiss has been back in the United States for 3 weeks, 2 days, 15 hours, and 47 minutes. She has slept exactly 10 hours during that time, eaten 1 full meal, and taken 30 showers. She has been to work 2 times, working 8 hour shifts. She has drank nearly 50 cups of coffee. Nearly, because the one in her hand was only half gone.

The entire team has been watching her these two days, and thankfully they haven't gotten a new case since she's been back. She caught Hotch staring at her through his office window and had to resist the urge to flip him off. All he has done since she has been back is baby her.

A few seconds later her desk phone rings and Hotch's voice is on the other line.

"Can you come up to my office, please?"

Emily rolls her eyes and places the coffee cup down on her desk. "I'll be there in a second." Emily looks down at the nearly empty coffee cup. She's drank so much coffee in the last two days the caffeine no longer affects her, and she is exhausted.

As Emily walks up the stairs to Hotch's office, the entire team watches her. She doesn't bother to knock, as he should be expecting her. "Do you need something?"

She watches as he, very slowly, looks over her. The dark circles, the loose clothes, the lost weight. The bit fingernails, the shaking hands, the fake smile. She should've known. Aaron Hotchner knew her too well. He would notice everything.

"Are you feeling okay, Prentiss? You've seemed off since you've been back."

"So we're using formalities now?" Emily scoffs.

"Emily," he emphasizes. "That isn't what I asked."

"Yes, Hotch, I'm feeling fine."

"Sleeping okay?" Hotch asks.

"Like a baby," she lies.

He pauses, then asks, "When is the last time you ate something?"

"This morning." That wasn't a lie. This morning was the first time she had been able to stomach food since she got back.

"I have watched you drink seven cups of coffee today, Emily. Might I remind you that it is only one in the afternoon?"

"Last I checked, you don't normally sit up in your office and count the cups of coffee your agents drink. Besides, my caffeine habits are non of your concern."

Hotch stands up, hands on his desk, and quietly says, "It is when my agents have gone through something traumatic, which usually leads to lack of sleep, which leads to increased caffeine intake."

"Hotch, I promise, I'm fine." Emily says. "You don't need to worry about me." Emily walked back out of the room, closing the door on her way out.

It was common knowledge in the team that Emily and Aaron had been a thing before Ian Doyle took her away. They had hoped the two of them would rekindle the flame after she came home, but neither of the two seemed as if they wanted to. All they've done is argue.

Everyone had an unspoken agreement that they were going to try to get them back together. Besides that, they had all tried to reach out to her, Spencer inviting her to an Italian movie and JJ and Penelope asking if she needed a girls night. Emily had politely declined all offers. She figured that if she shuts everyone out, nobody would realize how much she's struggling.

None of them need to know she's drinking herself to sleep at night. Or that she's taking (and definitely over using) anxiety medication. They don't need to know that every time she sleeps she's haunted by Irish accents, gunshots, and screams. They don't need to know that she throws up everything she eats.

Emily Prentiss is fine. Better than ever. At least, that's what she tells her team, her boss, and her therapist.

Susan, her therapist, is one of the most gullible people Emily had ever met. She is well aware that every sessions reports are given to Hotch, which is exactly why she finds herself spouting lies as answers to every question Susan asks.

"Have the nightmares gone away?"

"I've been sleeping better than ever," Emily replies. "No nightmares in weeks." Lie.

"And you've started eating regularly?"

"Yes, and feeling much better." Lie.

"You've stopped taking the anxiety medication, correct?" Susan asks.

"I stopped as soon as you told me to," Emily says. Lie. She's actually been taking double the amount prescribed.

"I'm glad you're doing so well, Emily. I don't know how much longer we actually need to do this." Susan exclaims. "I'll send these reports to your boss and request to end sessions. It was really nice getting to know you, Emily Prentiss." Susan stands and hold her hand out for Emily to shake.

"It was nice working with you, Susan," Emily replies, and shakes the other woman's hand.

That night, Emily finished off a bottle of wine she had opened a week ago, and went to sleep. She woke up to the sounds of screaming. Her screaming. It takes nearly fifteen minutes to get her breathing and heart rate down, and when it finally does, her phone rings with a text from Garcia: DUTY CALLS!!!

"Great," Emily mumbles to herself. She's at the office in 45 minutes, getting there taking longer than normal because of how tired she is. Emily is the last one to reach the Round Room, using the excuse that her new apartment is further away than her old one.

Garcia starts the briefing by apologizing for waking them up at the ungodly time of 3 AM, to which the team grunts in response. This case was just like any other case: four girls (tall, skinny, and brunette) have been killed in Huntington, West Virginia over the course of the last three weeks. Spencer spits out some random fact about how Huntington is the drug capitol of the United States, and the team is on the jet headed there in twenty minutes.

The BAU team arrives in about an hour and heads to the latest crime scene as soon as they land. Emily stops in the jet bathroom and takes three of her anxiety pills. She sighs, thinking about what Aaron would say if he knew how much she was taking. "Anything to keep my mind quiet and breathing steady," she whispers to herself. She slips the small orange bottle in her coat pocket and exits the jet.

The team looks over all of the evidence, crime scenes, and coroner's reports and gives their profile that afternoon. By that time Emily has faked eating two meals, thrown up twice, and drank four cups of coffee. The 12 hour anxiety meds wear off around two (she had taken her last dose around 7 AM) and Emily takes one more, just for good measure. The team returns to their hotel rooms that evening around eleven, and Emily doesn't wait to pull out the complementary wine. The bottle was a quarter empty in half an hour when she hears a knock at her door. She checks through the peephole, and Aaron is on the other side.

Emily opens the door just a crack, and asks, "What do you want Hotchner?"

Aaron visibly flinches at the use of his full last name. "I thought you didn't want to use formalities, Emily."

"If you came here for a reason, out with it. If not, then fuck off. I'm exhausted."

Aaron could tell she's had something to drink, because she only curses when the alcohol gets to her mind. "Can I come in?" He asks.

Her only response was the door opening wider, and he steps inside. "Please make this quick," Emily says quietly. "I meant it when I said I was exhausted."

"I just wanted to check on you," he replies. Aaron glances around the room quickly and doesn't notice anything odd. It's not uncommon for Emily to drink on cases. He knows she likes the small release it gives her, and she is always careful to not drink too much.

"Well, you've checked," Emily responds. "Have a great night."

Aaron knows that is his cue to leave. "Sleep well, Em," he whispers as he leaves.

As Aaron shuts the door behind him, Emily slumps down on the lousy hotel bed. "I wasn't planning on sleeping." And she doesn't.

The entire team notices that lack of sleep she had gotten the next morning. Emily could barely keep her eyes open during the short drive to the newest crime scene, and Aaron had caught her taking her pills at the local PD that afternoon. He didn't say anything to her then, but made a mental note to look over her most recent therapy reposts when they get back.

They caught the unsub that afternoon and saved his latest victim. The girl frighteningly looked like Emily, Aaron thought.

When Emily arrives back at headquarters that evening, she quickly packs up her notes and attempts to leave before anyone stopped her. Unfortunately, Aaron found her right as she was about to get on the elevator.

"Agent Prentiss, my office, now." Aaron said angrily.

When they made it to his office, he shuts the door. The rest of the team was still downstairs and Aaron clearly didn't want them hearing what was about to be said.

"I've gone over your recent psych report, Agent Prentiss. Susan has said that you're going well, and she has even said that she thinks you no longer need to attend the weekly meetings."

"Yes, she told me. She is pleased with how well I've been doing, all things considered." Emily replies.

"All I see is a report of lies," Aaron snaps. Emily flinches, and he continues. "I saw you taking pills earlier today."

"It was just Tylenol," Emily lies.

"Where's the bottle, Agent Prentiss?" Aaron asks calmly.

Fuck. She was screwed now. "I don't have it."

"Stop lying to me, Prentiss. Give me the bottle."

Emily sighs and pulls out the small orange bottle out of her coat pocket. She sets it on his desk with a loud thud. Aaron picks up the bottle and examines it.

"Agent Prentiss is no longer taken if the prescribed anxiety medication under my suggestion," Aaron recites. He turns the bottle around, and says, "Another lie."

"Aaron, please-"

"You may address me as your boss, Agent Prentiss." She has never seen him so firm. "What else have you been lying about?" Her silence is enough answer for him. "This is unacceptable, Agent Prentiss."

"Hotch I-"

"Don't bother. I'm sick on hearing your lies."

"Would you just listen to me?" Emily practically screamed. She could see heads turn downstairs, and Aaron quickly shut the blinds.

"What else could you possibly have to say?" Aaron whispers. Emily just stares at him. Honestly, she had nothing to say. There wasn't anything she could think of that would make this situation any better. "That's what I thought."

"No. You understand, Agent Hotchner. I know you do. I was there."

"What exactly, am I supposed to be understanding?" Aaron asks firmly.

"You understand what it is like to suffer. To drink yourself to sleep at night only to be woken by your own screaming. I can't breathe anymore, Aaron."

"Then you shouldn't be here!" Aaron shouts. "You're killing yourself, Emily." Formalities, at this point, are out of the window. The two of them know each other too well for this. "Everyone can tell you're not sleeping. You're constantly exhausted. You're over using medication you're not even supposed to be on, and you're clearly not eating."

"Are you done?" Emily interrupts. "Are you really going to harp on me when you've done the same thing? The timing is impeccable."

"Are we really going to talk about timing?" I wasn't killing myself, Em."

"Oh shut up Aaron. You are unbelievable." Emily crosses her arms over her chest.

Aaron sits down at his desk. "Get out of the office. I don't want to see you back here until you get your shit together."

Emily felt the beginning of tears start to form, but refused to let them fall. "Don't do this Aaron."

"Go home Emily. Get some rest. I'll come check on you in a few days." Emily reached for the pill bottle on his desk, but Aaron quickly pulls it away. "I'm only doing this because I care about you."

Emily heads to the door and turns around. Before she could stop herself, she says, "Now look who the liar is." Aaron flinches, and Emily leaves, slamming the door behind her.

#hotchniss #emily prentiss #taylor swift #aaron hotchner fanfiction #aaron hotcher #emily prentiss fanfiction #criminal minds fanfiction #criminal minds #angsty hotchniss #hotchniss fanfiction #idyllic entropies writes #idyllic entropies

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grailfinders · 3 years

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Fate and Phantasms #199

Today on Fate and Phantasms we're making the Jotaro Kujo of FGO, Semiramis! (Seriously, how does that cape/hair... thing work? It's wild.) The queen of poisons is a Graviturgy Wizard to make building a floating castle slightly less difficult to make and cooler to live in, plus a Witherbloom Druid for some dove friends and extra poisons. If you've seen our builds for Waver and Edison, you might know already that building things with magic is costly and time-consuming, and for once that is 100% accurate to the character. Get ready, this is gonna be a weird one.

Check out her build breakdown below the cut, or her character sheet over here!

Next up: I'm 40% appendicitis!

Race and Background

Semiramis is technically an aasimar, but she doesn't fly around or heal people, so we can just focus on her human side. .... Oooor we can focus on those ears, because we need to nick some stuff from being an Elf. Specifically, we're going with the Vahadar Elf from Plane Shift Kaladesh, since they've got the ears, the proficiencies we'll need later, and their backstory's still about living in general society, unlike wood elves and other Kaladeshian elves. Thanks to Tasha's Cauldron of Everything, this gives her +2 Intelligence and +1 Wisdom, as well as Darkvision, Fey Ancestry against being charmed, a Trance instead of sleep so she can't be put to sleep, Keen Senses for proficiency in Perception, the Mending cantrip to piece together the castle later, and most importantly Elf Weapon Training. Normally this would give her proficiency with four weapons, but thanks to Tasha's we can swap this out with four tools instead. Carpenter's, Glassblower's, Mason's, and Smith's Tools proficiency should give us everything we need to build a castle later- we'll go into the why when we get there.

Semiramis is also a Noble- grab History, but swap out Persuasion for Deception. Yeah, not even her background can escape how weird this build is.

Ability Scores

Poisoning skills come from Intelligence (I think. WotC are really nonspecific about how to actually fucking make poison), and it's also your main casting modifier: put that first. Second should be your Charisma, nobody drinks poison on purpose, so you'd better get good at lying. After that is Wisdom. If your poisons aren't made with Intelligence it'll definitely be wisdom. That means your Dexterity isn't great- yeah, you fight in a dress, but if you're fighting and not your lackeys, something's gone wrong. We're not dumping Constitution because we're not stupid, so dump Strength instead. You've got minions to carry rocks around for you.

Class Levels

Wizard 1: Starting as a wizard nets you the weakest hit die in the game, but it also gets you proficiency in Intelligence and Wisdom saves, plus the Arcana and Medicine skills. You're half caster, and if you want to ruin someone's bodily functions you have to know what those are first. Starting as a wizard also gets you Spells that you can cast and prepare using your Intelligence. You get six at first level and two each level after. That's a lot, so we're just going to over spells that are important for the build here, though there's a full list of what we'd get in the character sheet. For cantrips, grab Infestation and Poison Spray for poison damage. For once infestation is completely kosher as is, since Semiramis can summon any creature as long as its poisonous. Also, grab Message. Castle halls are big and echo-y, and it's probably not a good idea to shout at people to find out which glass they put the poison in. Aside from that, grab Mage Armor so you die less, Magic Missile for Assassin balls, and Tenser's Floating Disk to carry all the raw materials you'll be using later. Finally, you get an Arcane Recovery once per long rest, letting you recover a couple spell slots on a short rest. The total level you recover is equal to half your wizard level, rounded up.

Wizard 2: Going into second level of wizard gives you a school of magic, and it's hard to lift several tons of stone into the air if you're not into Graviturgy. When you take the subclass, you can Adjust Density as an action, doubling or halving a large or smaller creature/object's weight for up to a minute with concentration. If you reduce a creature's weight it'll increase their speed by 10', double their jump distance, and have disadvantage on strength saves and checks, and vice versa if you increase it. I checked, and stone is roughly 1,000 times denser than air, not 2, so we'll have to do some brewing later to make this work out. Make your strong minions stronger, your fast minions faster, or do the opposite for your enemies.

Wizard 3: Third level wizards get second level spells. You won't get any dragons in this build, sad to say, but you can use Dragon's Breath to turn just about anything into a dragon. They can even spit poison breath, which is really good with the poisoner's feat. Speaking of..

Wizard 4: First Ability Score Improvement of the build, so grab the Poisoner's Feat for more poisony goodness. All poison-based damage rolls you make ignore resistance, you can coat weapons as a bonus action, and you get proficiency in the poisoner's kit. You also learn a special poison that'll force a dc 14 constitution save on the creature you use it on, dealing 2d8 poison damage and poisoning them for a round.

Wizard 5: Fifth level wizards get third level spells. Animate Dead will help you make dragontooth warriors, a.k.a. skeletons. You can make one per casting right now, but you can recast the spell to retain control over up to three skeletons at once. Otherwise they'll be uncontrollable monsters, which is probably less of a goal.

Druid 1: Semiramis might be known for her poisons, but she's really a multifaceted person. Well, not really, but if you want poisons, you're going to get them from animals. If you want animals, you're going to get them from druids. First level druids learn Druidic- it's a language! They also get another set of Spellcasting using their Wisdom to cast and prepare spells. Check the multiclassing table to figure out your spell slots. Grab Guidance and Resistance to be a bit better than everyone else. For first level spells, look for Entangle and Snare to summon chains to slow down enemies, and Speak with Animals to make sure your dovey-woveys know their work is appreciated. We haven't gotten dovey-woveys yet? Don't worry, they're coming.

Druid 2: Second level druids join their circle, and you're so goddamn smart you just joined another school. At the college of Witherbloom, you'll learn how to turn the vitality of nature into deadly poisons. Right off the bat you get circle spells, which are always prepared for you and don't count against how many spells you can prepare. Right now you get the Spare the Dying cantrip as well as Cure and Inflict Wounds. Now you don't literally have to summon a whip every time you want to hit someone. You can also tap in creatures' essences with your Essence Tap. As a bonus action, you empower yourself for 1 minute, gaining one of two options. Overgrowth lets you heal yourself with a hit die each turn as a bonus action, adding your wisdom modifier to the amount healed. Withering Strike lets you change your damage to necrotic when you hit someone with any sort of damage, ignoring resistances to make your poisons even deadlier. You can use this proficiency times per long rest. Most importantly, you gain a Wild Shape / Wild Companion. Both features use the same two charges per short rest. You're limited to what you can turn into based on its CR and movement options, but those limits and how long you can transform/summon a creature for grows as you level up. Currently I'd stick with Wild Companion for dove familiars, but some versions of Semiramis' story include her turning into a dove herself at the end, so Wild Shape isn't out of the question. As long as we sink eight levels into druid, at least.

Druid 3: Third level druids get second level spells, like your freebies Lesser Restoration and Ray of Enfeeblement. Look, if you're going to make poisons it only makes sense that you'd have antidotes on hand. You can also grab spells like Animal Messenger to send your doves out for ingredients, and Locate Animals or Plants to find them yourself.

Wizard 6: Sixth level graviturgists can make a Gravity Well when you cast a spell, moving the target 5 feet in any direction if it is willing or you successfully hit it with the spell. Speaking of spells that push people, Pulse Wave does just that, stepping in for the big stompy dragon animation. Creatures in a 30' cone make a constitution save, and if they fail they'll take force damage and get pushed back 15', or 20' with Gravity Well. You can also pull them, but that's not really stompy at that point. You can also Summon Undead to create a stronger skeleton to lead the others.

Druid 4: At fourth level, druids can transform into swimming creatures, and you also get another ASI. Bump up your Intelligence for stronger spells. Also, grab the Control Fire cantrip, it'll be cold in your castle without it.

Druid 5: Fifth level druids get third level spells, like Revivify and Vampiric Touch. Neither of those are in character, but you can also Conjure Animals (as long as they're poisonous) and Dispel Magic to keep your throne room free of nonsense.

Wizard 7: Seventh level wizard get fourth level spells, including the one we've been working our way up to, Fabricate! As long as you have the raw materials, you can turn them into products of the same material. Since you're working with stone, you're limited to creating Medium objects this way. Just line the outside of the medium objects you make with halves of smaller objects, then mend them together, and eventually you'll have a castle. This will take a while. For a decent-sized castle of 300'x400', you'll be looking at roughly 480 medium-sized blocks per floor. At level 20 you'll have 12 spell slots of fourth level or higher, so you can knock out a floor in roughly 40 days, not including things like doors or other furniture. Also worth noting, you can't make fancy things like glass without proficiency in the tools required to make them normally, hence all the tool proficiencies from your racial bonuses.

Wizard 8: Use your next ASI to bump up your Wisdom for better healing and stronger druid spells. You also learn Mordenkainen's Private Sanctum, so you can prevent creatures from spying into your hanging gardens. Especially useful is the ability to block creatures from teleporting or plane shifting onto your grounds, as that's probably the only way to approach your gardens safely. Or at least it is after you learn Ice Storm, a long range spell that pelts enemies with ice and turns the area into difficult terrain. Of note, it doesn't say the ground, so the entire cylinder will be difficult to fly through. If you want to build giant arcane cannons instead for authenticity, I salute you. Just remember that'll have to come out of your budget.

Wizard 9: Ninth level wizards get fifth level spells, and Wall of Stone will help you speed up construction by making ten 10'x10' panels or ten 10'x20' panels. You can also use this spell to create bridges or the like, and if you hold concentration for 10 minutes the stone remains permanently. If you want to skimp on materials so you can just get this fucking thing in the air already, this'll help with that. You're also learning Geas. If you can't summon a dragon, forcibly controlling a dragon is the next best thing.

Druid 6: Did you think we were done with druid? I said we were stuck here for 8 levels, didn't I? Sixth level witherbloom druids can make a Witherbloom Brew thanks to their new proficiency with Herbalism kits. At the end of a long rest, you can use that kit to make Proficiency brews, which last for 24 hours. A Fortifying brew gives a creature resistance to a damage type chosen at brewing (cold, fire, necrotic, poison, or radiant) for an hour. A Quickening brew heals its drinker, and ends one disease or an effect of charming, frightening, paralyzation, poisoning, or stunning. Again, antidotes might be useful to have on hand, but the real reason we're here is for the Toxifying brew. You can apply the brew to a weapon, and the next time within an hour that weapon hits a creature, they take 2d6 poison damage and have to make a constituiton saving throw (DC 8 + your wisdom modifier + proficiency) or be poisoned for a minute. This is literally so much better than the poisoner feat what the hell.

Druid 7: Seventh level druids get fourth level spells, like Blight and Greater Restoration for stronger poisons and antidotes respectively. You can also Dominate Beast to hold any poisonous critters still while you milk them, or summon Giant Insects instead. They obey you and stay giant until they drop to 0 HP, dismiss the effect, the spell ends.

Druid 8: Our last level of druid finally lets you turn into a dove with a second Wild Shape Improvement. You also get another ASI, so bump up that Wisdom for stronger spells and poisons.

Wizard 10: Tenth level graviturgists can create a Violent Attraction between a creature's face and a weapon, causing a nearby weapon attack to deal an extra 1d10 damage. Alternatively, you can increase the attraction between a creature and the ground, adding 2d10. I doubt your hanging gardens need help making the fall more deadly, but now you can help out of need be. You can do this Intelligence modifier per long rest.

Wizard 11: Eleventh level wizards get sixth level spells, like Guards and Wards. This will make it so much harder for enemies to breach your castle it isn't even funny, if the "hanging out in the stratosphere" thing didn't tip them off already.

Wizard 12: By twentieth level you should have a castle set up, so grab the Lucky feat. Basically, everything that can go right for you does while you're in your castle, so now you get 3 luck points per long rest to make sure that happens, letting you re-roll your attacks, saves, and checks, as well as attacks aimed at you.

So how the fuck do I get a flying castle?

So, admittedly this is up to DM fiat, but let's be real, a flying castle sounds sick as hell and gathering resources is a great reason to go adventuring. If I was your DM, it'd go something like this; After x months of research, you find a way to prepare materials so Adjust Density is permanent on them if you concentrate for the duration. Then you make and fuse together castle chunks as described in level twelve, and eventually you lighten the load on the special rocks so much they're lighter than air. Boom, liftoff, you're fucking awesome now. If you want to go down, just make the float rocks heavier again.

Pros and Cons

Pros:

Even if you don't build a giant floating castle in your adventure, that doesn't mean all this prepwork went to waste. You are a master at protecting areas from invasion, so no matter where you lay your head you know it's going to be safe. Not as safe as a floating castle, but still, safe.

By mixing together all your tool proficiencies with Fabricate, you can make pretty much whatever you need from raw materials. No more paying a smithy for fancier armor!

If you do get your castle in the air or you're near a cliff, you are incredibly deadly, with plenty of ways to shove opponents around or otherwise control movement. Slow them down, trip them up, or shove them off a cliff it's so good. Pulse people off the edge of your garden and laugh at them as they fall.

Cons:

There's literally no rules about building your own castles & poisons, so most of this build is entirely dependent on your DM. If you get a cool one, cool! If you don't, this build is pretty much a writeoff.

You need to hide away in your castle and send out minions because you're kind of pathetic in person. With only 14 AC and less than 100 HP, you'll go down faster than Medb if you don't use your Wild Shapes well.

A lot of that can be chalked up to mixing caster classes, meaning we have to spend more ASIs to make both spell modifiers good, and we miss out on higher level spells. Also, spending 8 levels in druid just to turn into a dove isn't that great unless you really want the flavor. I highly recommend skipping out after 6, the last graviturgy effect is great both to knock people out of the sky and make them bow if they get to your throne room.

But, getting to your throne room is 90% of the fight. This build is one that emphasizes patience, and that's what puts you above the common folk. Hang out in the stratosphere, attend social events in style, and let your poisons and skeleton warriors do the fighting for you. Just be glad there aren't any wacky knights riding hippogryphs around.

#fgo #fate grand order #D&D 5e #DND #Semiramis #Wizard #Druid

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imaginationintowords · 3 years

Text

Folklore [song series]

epiphany

Modern Day AU! Bucky Barnes x Natasha Romanoff; Steve Rogers x OC!Reader

Plot: Inspired by Taylor Swift’s new album Folklore. The story follows the timeline of Bucky and Elizabeth’s life throughout the years

[warnings: death]

word count: 3168

Age: 21 Year: Sep. 2015 Location: Brooklyn, NY

"So I was thinking, godparents," Bucky spoke up. He and Natasha were currently finishing setting up the baby's nursery in their new apartment.

They had found a nice two bedroom apartment in Brooklyn, much to Natasha's dismay. Bucky thought it was the perfect place to start their new little family. It was also about a 20 to 30 minutes drive to Bucky's work and University campus. His mom and stepdad had even offered to help them out financially for a bit, just as long as Bucky continued on his path to graduate with his Masters in Music Technology in the Spring.

Bucky had managed to finish his bachelor's and masters program in just the span of 4 years, a whole year earlier than originally planned. He was proud of himself, if there's one thing he hadn't screwed up yet, it was his education. He had fully devoted himself to his education the last four years and it clearly paid off. He had also managed to get a good paying job at a studio as an engineer. He had his whole future all planned out, the pregnancy might've been a curve ball at the beginning but with the help of his family and therapist, he was handling it all so well.

"Oh you don't need to worry about the godparents, I have it all figured out already," Natasha tells him as she folds baby clothes, "I picked Abigail and Dylan."

Natasha on the other hand had decided to put her education on hold. Deciding she wanted to be a stay at home mom, Bucky constantly made sure that that's what she wanted. And she insisted every time that she was "made to be a stay at home mom". So Bucky had to reluctantly allow her to make that decision.

Which was one of the reasons why his parents had offered to help out for at least the first year or two, they had known their son was already stressing about finances, and trying to respect Natasha's decision. They figured two years would be a good enough time for the couple to build up their savings.

Bucky didn't like the fact that his parents were helping out with money, but he knew him and Nat wouldn't have been able to make it just on is current income alone. At least not until after he graduated, his boss had already promised a raise once he graduated, but that wasn't until May and the baby was due in the next two weeks. He promised to pay his parents back every cent they gave him, but they told him to just focus on being a good father.

"Abigail and Dylan?" He questioned.

"Yeah," she shrugged her shoulders.

"The same Abigail and Dylan that showed up to the baby shower high, and proceed to get drunk, because and I quote 'babies are so boring'. That Abigail and Dylan?"

"Come on James, they were just joking, plus baby showers aren't necessarily the most fun thing in the world," she rolled her eyes.

"Can we at least each choose one godparent?" He suggested, "You can have Abigail as the Godmother and I can choose The Godfather."

"Like Sam?"

"No, not Sam. Steve," Bucky tells her.

"Oh, then no," she simply said, turning her back to him to continue putting clothes away.

"What's your problem?" Bucky asks annoyed, finally having enough of her attitude, "This entire pregnancy you've been against everything I've suggested."

"Hey, you got to choose Brooklyn," she turned around pointing her finger at him.

"Yeah because I couldn't fucking afford Manhattan Natasha," he stressed, trying not to raise his voice at her, "You didn't want to know the gender of the baby? Fine. You get to name the baby? Fine. You choose the color scheme of the nursery, fine. You choose the hospital. You choose the apartment. God damn Nat, I haven't done a single thing but pay for everything."

"And I thank-you for that," she rolled her eyes.

"But you don't," he shakes his head in disbelief over her reactions, "You haven't thanked me once. I get that you're carrying our child, and I'm appreciative of that. But god damn Natasha, show me some respect. Show my family some respect!

"You didn't thank my mom, Rebecca, or Keith for everything they've done for you. For us. And I can't keep making up excuses to defend you," he raises his voice a little bit.

"If this relationship is ever going to work, you need to be respectful. You need to stop being so selfish. I get this isn't easy for you, but trust me, this isn't easy for me either. But I agreed to do this. I am stepping up. I want to be a part of my child's life. And I want us to be together and be family," he calms down, "But if you continue to act this way. I won't stay in this relationship."

"You're just going to abandon us?" Natasha asks grabbing her belly, suddenly realizing the reality of the situation.

"No, I won't abandon you both. But we won't be together," he explains, "I will always be in my child's life. I will always be there for them. I'm not going to put my child through the same thing I went through growing up. I promised myself I would never do that."

"So if that means that you and I break up, then so be it Natasha, I'll do it," he tells her, "My child will not grow up in a toxic household."

"Okay," she agrees, tears in her eyes, "I promise I will be better."

"Don't promise me Nat, just show me."

Two and a half weeks later Bucky found himself rushing an in-labor Natasha to the hospital, it was a quick k10 minute drive from their apartment. He quickly called his mom as the nurses wheeled Natasha away, with Bucky following.

Bucky's mom arrives within the next 10 minutes, as the nurses begin to prep Natasha in her hospital room.

Bucky sent a quick text to Steve and Sam, letting them know it was showtime and that he'll call them once the baby is here.

"How's Mama doing?" The doctor asked while entering the room, quickly taking her spot at the foot of the bed to examine Natasha.

"It hurts," Nat cried, as Bucky tried to soothe her.

"I know, but unfortunately you were too far dilated when you arrived, that it's too late for the epidural," the doctor softly explains, "But the good news is I feel Baby's head, so it's time to go."

Natasha looked over at Bucky, completely scared.

"It's okay," he assured her, "I'm right here. Everything's going to be okay."

He leaned down an placed a soft kiss to her lips, helping her relax a bit.

"Ready?" The doctor looks up at Natasha.

"Yes," Natasha nodded, grabbing a hold of Bucky and his mom's hands on either side of her.

10 minutes later, a soft cry was heard in the room. Bucky quickly glanced over to where the doctor was had finished pulling the baby out.

"Congrats Mommy and Daddy, it's a girl," she announced.

"A girl?" Bucky whispered in awe, tears filling his eyes. He looked over at Natasha, who looked a lot paler in color.

"Nat?" He called out for her.

Her eyes fluttered shut, her limbs went limp, and all the monitors started to go crazy.

The doctor quickly cut the umbilical chord and handed the baby off to an awaiting nurse.

"What's going on?" Bucky panicky asked.

"Get them out," the doctor told a nurse, ignoring Bucky's question.

A nurse quickly escorted Bucky and his mom out of the room.

"She's going to be okay right?" He asked his mom, tears streaming down his face.

"I don't know honey," she honestly said, wrapping her arms around her son. She never thought the first hug they shared after him becoming a father would be like this.

She continued to hold him, soothing him as she made silent prayers pleading for Natasha's safety.

10 minutes later. The same 10 minutes it took for them to arrive to the hospital. The same 10 minutes it took Natasha to bring their daughter into the world, the door opened.

Bucky quickly pulled apart from his mom to see the doctor walking out of the room.

The doctor's face was filled with sorrow. Bucky's mom immediately put her head down, already knowing the outcome.

"How is she?" Bucky asked.

"Mr. Barnes, Natasha had a postpartum hemorrhage, due to issues with her placenta," the doctor carefully explains, "Unfortunately, there was too much blood loss. We weren't able to save her. She died."

Bucky immediately broke down, his mom quickly caught him. The doctor placed a reassuring hand on his back.

He quickly pulled away after a couple of minutes, "The baby. How's the baby?"

"She's good. They took her to get checked just as a safety procedure," the doctor tells him, "She's on the pediatric floor. Would you like to meet her?"

"Yeah," he says, then pauses, "What about Natasha?"

"We can come get you to say goodbye once we get her cleaned," the doctor tells him.

"Okay, thank you," he says.

The doctor takes him and his mom to the pediatric floor. The walk was silent. No one knowing what to say. Bucky was no longer crying, but he felt numb the entire short walk. The doctor knocked quietly on a door, before opening.

"Doctor Monroe, this is Mr. Barnes, the baby's father," the doctor said, before stepping aside to let Bucky in, "Mr. Barnes, I'll have someone come get you when it's time."

"Okay, thank-you," he nodded his head.

"Are you ready to meet your daughter?" Doctor Monroe asked, Bucky nodded his head.

"Meet your Daddy baby girl," the doctor said, gently handing the baby over to Bucky.

Bucky looked down at the small baby in his arms. He was instantly overcome with so many different emotions. The doctor walked out of the room, while Bucky's mom watched from outside threw the window.

"Hi baby girl," he whispered, sniffling back his tears, "You're so beautiful. I'm your dad. And boy am I lucky that you chose me to be your Dad. I always imagined this day would've turned out a lot differently. But life sure knows how to throw some real curveballs."

"Your mom would've loved you," he paused, letting it all sink in. His daughter will have to grow up without a mother. No little girl should have to be without a mom.

"I'm so sorry," he cried, as the baby was lulled to sleep, "I am so sorry your mom won't be able to physically be here. I am so sorry you'll have to grow up without her. No one should have to grow up without a parent. And trust me, I know what that's like. But lucky for us, I had the greatest pleasure of being raised by the most strongest and kindest mother. She taught me everything I know. Your grandma is the best lady you will ever meet. Lucky for us because god knows we're going to be needing her a lot.

"But you and I are incredibly fortunate that we won't ever be alone. We have so many people who care about us. You'll have all the female leadership you can ever need. We can do this," he strongly said to the sleeping baby, "You and I. We can do this. And I promise you this, that no matter what happens, you will always have me. You're stuck with me for the rest of your life. My love for you is greater than anything, anyone I've ever loved. My love for you will always be easy and unconditional. You'll never have to prove your worth to me. You're worth more to me than you can ever possibly imagine. I love you."

Bucky placed a soft kiss to his daughter's forehead. The first kiss he will ever give her, but definitely not the last.

There was a soft knock at the door, he gently called for the person to come in.

His mom quietly opened and closed the door behind her, stepping to her son's side.

"She's beautiful," she smiled down at the little baby.

"She really is," Bucky beamed. He looked over at his mom and noticed she was holding a clipboard, "What's that?"

"Birth certificate," she tells him, "One of the nurses gave it to me. They said there's no rush to fill it out. You have time."

"Here, I can do that," he said gently holding the baby out for her to take.

"Are you sure?" She asked, switching with him.

"Yeah, I have a name anyways."

"What is it?" She looked over at the name written down:

Poppy James Barnes.

[flashback]

After that talk Bucky had with Natasha, he noticed a serious change in her attitude. She was beginning to be more relaxed and more selfless. Bucky felt a tiny weight lifted off his shoulder. Hoping that these changes in her personality would stay.

"So what do you think about James for a boy?" Natasha asked one night, as she and Bucky made dinner together in their small kitchen.

"For a middle name?" He asked confused.

"No, his first name."

"Oh," he paused, "I actually have never liked the idea of giving a child their parents' name. I feel like it doesn't really give them a chance to be their own person. If their parent is successful then they feel the stress of always having to live up to that. And if their parent is crap then they're forever stuck with that reminder of that person."

"That makes sense," she agreed, understanding where he was coming from,

"Then how about James for the middle name. Whether it's a boy or girl."

"I would actually really like that," he smiled at her, "I would like that a lot."

They gathered up their own plates, and sat at their small round table.

"So what other names have you come up with?" Bucky asked her as he took a bite of his chicken.

"Truthfully, I haven't found any good names. All the girls keep making suggestions and they're way too out there," she tells him, "I don't want them to have a name that's too hard to pronounce or spell."

Natasha's phone started to ring, Bucky got up to grab it for her from the living room. By the time he handed it over to her it stopped ringing.

"What kind of flower is that?" He asked her, noticing her phone's Lock Screen background.

"The California Poppy," she tells him.

"Why do you have that as your background?"

"Well my mom was actually from California," she says, "She met my Dad when they both went to Harvard. They fell in love, so she decided to stay out here on the East Coast.

"The only clear memory I have from her was all the stories she used to tell me about poppy season. How the color just made everything so lively. Her parents would take her every season. I remember seeing all the photos of her as a child surrounded by all the flowers. We looked a like as children," she fondly smiled,

"She always talked about taking me to go see them, but she and Dad were always so busy. Then she got sick and there just wasn't a way for us to go. My grandparents tried to get some out here but it was too late. I never did get to see the poppies."

Natasha was silent for a moment, letting what she said sink in. She's never told anyone that story before, the memory would always make her sad. But now sitting here with Bucky, pregnant with their child, for the first time in her life her mother's death didn't bring her such sadness. She could smile at the memory and know she had the utmost best time with her mother, even if it was short lived, she knew her mother loved her. And she can't wait to shower that love onto the baby inside of her, once they were out.

"We should go," Bucky says, "Once the baby is here we should go when it's poppy season. Plus it'd be nice seeing Steve and Liz's life out west."

"Yeah, that sounds nice," her eyes teared up, seeing how generous this man was in front of her, "I'd really love that."

"Poppy, that's cute," Winifred smiled.

"Yeah, Nat would've loved it."

"They said if you were ready, you can say your goodbyes," she carefully said.

"Okay, you're good with her?"

"Yeah. Do you want me to go with you? The nurses can watch Poppy."

"No. I'd feel much better if she was with family," he tells her, "I'll be fine mom. I can do this."

He gave her a kiss on the cheek before leaving the room.

"Take all the time you need," the nurse told Bucky, as she led him to the room Natasha's body was in.

"Thank you," he quietly said.

She opened the door for him, and he carefully stepped inside.

He walked closer to the body on the bed. He immediately started crying at the sight of her lifeless body.

"God Nat," he cried, "I am so sorry. We never even discussed the possibility of this ever happening. I never even thought of this happening. God I don't know how I am going to ever do this alone. I never imagined myself ever raising a child alone."

He takes a moment to catch his breath.

"She's beautiful Nat, so incredibly beautiful," he tells her, "I wish you would've been able to see her. Hold her. I'm going to make sure she knows everything about you. There's not going to be a day where she doesn't know about her mother."

"When poppy season arrives I'm going to make sure to take her. Every year," he wipes away a tear, "Oh, I also named her Poppy. For you. For your mom. I promise I won't let you down. She's going to have the best life ever. I'll make sure of that. Thank-you for everything you've given me. I truly did love you. Goodbye Natasha." _________________ Age: 22

Location: CA

Year: May 2016

The car comes to a stop, parking in a spot next to a bunch of other cars. Bucky, Liz, and Steve get out of the car. Steve and Liz grab a few things from the trunk, while Bucky gets the smiley baby out of the car seat. Bucky places the baby into the stroller, Steve had gotten out. The three of them began to walk towards the field of poppies.

"Wow, there's a lot this year," Liz says, "Do you want to take her out?"

"Yeah, I'll grab her," Bucky says grabbing Poppy.

He walked ahead of Liz and Steve, taking in the moment with his daughter.

"Look at all the poppies," he whispers to the almost eight month old. She had a huge smile on her face taking in the sight around her.

She was making some babbling sounds, as if to agree with her dad.

The weather was perfect. The sun shining down on them, it wasn't too hot or too cold. Bucky just stared at the flowers, with a peaceful feeling washing over him. The last few months haven't been the easiest, but he was making it. They both were making it. Being here, gave him the reassurance that he was doing good. He could feel Natasha's presence with him there. As if she was silently saying how proud she was of him.

"We're going to be fine," he said to Poppy, placing a kiss on her head.

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