#i haven’t caught up on the new eps the past month or so so please don’t spoil anything if you can | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

swinterr · 3 years

Text

fic rec vii ♡

hi!

this is a another new set of fic rec and i’ll probably do a compilation of genre (?) just like the first ones.

read and support the fic and authors here: the fic rec ♡

made some changes like tidying up a bit and adding summary, for those that doesn’t have any summary i’ll try my best to add my own summary (it will probably be shit tho, i ain’t making a smut summary guys, i’m not confident in my describing a fic ability but i’ll try my best. if its in italic it means i made the summary hehez ) if the summary is shit, i made it okay.

a for angst

f for fluff

s for smut

// for series or list

kpop oc/s

1. jane by @baejiyeonz

2. bee by @purpleyellow

3. lian by @nct-lian

4. taehui by @jeontaehui

nct

sungchan

1. [10:47 pm] by @dont-look-down-on-me | f

- based on the nct relay cam.

haechan

1. [5:21] by @dont-look-down-on-me | f

- based on the nct relay cam.

2. you’re warm by @dreamystuffers | f

- a drunk hyuck can only mean a clingy hyuck.

3. you’re short too by @pastelsicheng | f

- 5 times hyuck teases u for ur height.

4. no title by @heychan | s

- dirty thought cockwarming haechan and johnny comes in to the room while you are trying to hide it but haechan doesn’t care.

5. wishes by @lucaswithnoshirt | a f

- standing on stage is everything you’ve dreamed of. except in the time it’s taken you to get there, you’ve been dreaming about other things, too.

jaehyun

1. moving in: the series by @jaehyun-ified | f

- after agreeing to move-in with jaehyun, you decided to curate a little series on your channel to both give in to your viewer’s request to have jaehyun frequently on your contents and to document your moving in process with the love of you life.

2. [8:14 pm] by @dont-look-down-on-me | f

- based on the nct relay cam.

3. boyfriend by @simpsiren | a

- a relationship with jaehyun wasn’t always perfect. there wasn’t a definite label on it, which only sent the relationship down a complicated pathway as we tried to find the meaning of our love once again.

4. best part by @okayoongii | f

- don’t know how to describe this tho, just read it. also 10/10

5. can i help you? by @sugarjaee | f s

- when working an extra long shift at work, your boyfriend surprises you with a visit.

6. stages of love by @biletdoux | a f s

- a playlist for the trials and tribulations of a beating heart.

7. [9:04 am] by @jeongvision | // f

- domestic fluffy blurb. 10/10!!

8. suds by @kim-taehung | s

- first person to move does the dishes for a week. nothing is off-limits.

9. promise by @bvbyxuxi | f a

- jaehyun has loved you since you were both kids, things were going well until he messed everything up; meeting again as young adults, he refuses to let you go again but would you give him another chance?

mark

1. one minus on plus one by @wonjaekook | f a

- in all of the years you’ve known jungwoo, you should have figured out to not take his words at face value because, though you haven’t even met, mark lee seems to hate your guts.

2. [12:03] by @dont-look-down-on-me | f

- based on the nct relay cam.

3. pretty boy by @epinebleue | f a

- fluff, the tiniest bit of angst, the reader is two years older than mark, jaehyun makes an appearance as the reader’s fuck buddy, use of alcohol and drugs (marijuana), mentions of violence (mark punches someone), smut (protected sex, inexperienced!mark, dry humping).

4. camera flash by @morkleemelon | f

- mark taking a picture but forgot to remove flash waking up oc, pretty fluffy and cute! 10/10!!!

5. retrouvailles by @kireimarkeu | f

- counting down the days until you finally see your long-distance boyfriend.

jungwoo

1. [1:14 pm] by @dont-look-down-on-me | f

- based on the nct relay cam.

johnny

1. man-icure by @haejunehui | f

- based on jcc ep. 26

taeyong

1. reverb by @lovingonrepeat | s

- taeyong + studio sex.

2. unspoken by @bvbyxuxi | f s

- you had never thought to see taeyong again after your one night stand with him until this year where he takes you by surprise; turns out he wasn’t the guy you sought him out to be after all.

ten

1. [2:32 pm] by @dont-look-down-on-me | f

- based on the nct relay cam.

lucas

1. [4:31 pm] by @dont-look-down-on-me | f

- based on the nct relay cam.

2. king of hearts by @raibebe | f s a

- a little bit of everything, a chef’s kiss.

yuta

1. [5:51 pm ] by @dont-look-down-on-me | f

- based on the nct relay cam.

doyoung

1. redamancy by @heavenlyhaechan | f

- this is just so fluffy! i wished to be doyong gf please.

2. fools together by @yongiefilms | f

- two fools in love with each other?

3. acedia by @jaeminscoffee | f

- a day in the life of yours and doyoung's love life.

4. our little secret by @haejunehui | f

- read to know their little secret. hehe.

5. caught red handed by @hannie-dul-set | f

- all you wanted to do was take a picture of the handsome law student during your train ride home. you did not expect things to end up like this.

jeno

1. i see red by @0097linersb | s

- pure filth 🥵10/10 tho.

2. addiction by @love-mi | s f

- you and jeno keep your relationship a secret to avoid backlash from your companies and fans; but keeping himself away only makes him want you more.

3. surprise visit by @nakamotonudes | f s

- you hadn’t seen your boyfriend for over a month because of his hectic schedule so when he suddenly shows up at your place one night for a surprise visit, you both have to make every second worth it.

bts

jungkook

1. the pitter-patter of the heart by @koorara | f s a //

- pieces of newlywed domestic moments with jungkook, your husband. the young film and literature lecturer and his wife, you, who works as a journalist of a web magazine. both of you managing the career, the time for each other and the new house. not to forget, chip, the cat that has been with you for years.

2. please love me by @ahundredtimesover | // f s a

- as the only unmarried jeon and kim children, your families propose a union to symbolize your unbreakable bond that spans generations. but despite developing an affection for jungkook growing up, he never returned it; he never seemed to like you, actually. you’re okay with the proposal, but surprise surprise, he isn’t.

3. first love, last love by @floralseokjin | f s //

- a collection of drabbles following the longterm relationship between jungkook and you...

4. second chances by @parkhabits | a s

- work. one of the most important things to him. It kept him company at night, it was all he thought about, all he put his attention to. his work had become the mistress within your marriage. years after you left him you’re back with only one goal in mind. get him to sign the damn divorce papers. yet you should’ve known that your husband wouldn’t let you go that easily.

5. crush by @jungxk | f s

- jungkook woke up with amnesia (?) he totally forgets that he has a wife and child. and he totally has a huge crush on his wife.

6. bare necessities by @gguksgalaxy | f s a

- when you ask your boyfriend for a relaxing vacation you don’t exactly expect him to take you to disneyland out of all places. luckily, jungkook knows just how to get you to relax — being needy is definitely not the way. or is it…

7. krampus for christmas by @ddaenysus | f

- when your daughter overhears your nightly activities close to christmas, jungkook takes it upon himself to convince her it was the sounds of the legendary demon goat.

8. a date with destiny by @imjustfanfictrash | f s

- you are a boss lady in the tech industry traveling to world for work. he is a chart-topping artist touring the globe to perform in front of millions of fans. In the cosmos of life, you are not likely to cross paths. luckily, fate has a different plan for you two.

9. stranded by @gguksgalaxy | f s a

- jungkook’s offer to help you study for your exam is unwelcome. his entire presence is unwelcome. you don’t want help from the guy who passes all his classes without even trying. it’s annoying — he is annoying. from the way he grins whenever he catches you staring at him, to the way his eyes shine whenever he smiles at you. oh, and let’s not forget the way his tattoos shift when he stretches or the way his jawline sharpens when he’s focused. nope, you definitely can’t stand him.

10. sprout by @v-hope | f

- after a nice evening out with your friends, you find yourself coming home to your sleeping toddler and the new hairstyle she had tried on your husband.

11. friday nights and take-out by @ahundredtimesover | // f s a

- you meet pop star/idol jeon jungkook at the café, you get close, and as hyejin says, you’re like friends with benefits without the sex. but you’re bad at feelings and so is he.

12. jealousy by @ephemeralkookie | f s a

- jungkook’s closest friend, namjoon is getting married and he invited you three to his wedding. the only unexpected thing was jisoo, his ex, and we’ll just say that you were not too happy to see her flirting with your boyfriend right under your nose

13. a quarter past us by @jjiimin | f a

- when you break up with him out of fear of losing your freedom in university, he finds himself showing you why leaving him isn’t the answer.

14. pretty boy by @angelguk | // f s a

- alternatively known as the jock!jk universe drabbles in vague chronological order.

15. summer solstice by @boulevardk | s

- down on your luck and desperate for a successful harvest, you pray to the gods. you figure no one in heaven was listening to your prayers when nothing happens immediately. but one fateful night, your prayers are answered. are you willing to pay the price? the sacrifice might not be what you were expecting….

16. lilac wisteria by @blushoseoks | f a

- over the years, things change - but the one constant is your love for lilac wisterias.…okay, maybe jungkook’s been there too.or, alternatively:the first time jeon jungkook says that he is going to marry you, you are five years old sitting underneath a large wisteria tree.

17. obsessed with your ass by @kooklovesu | f s

- jungkook has an obsession with your body he cant get enough of praising you. he wasn’t comfy showing the world his affection towards you in public because he’s a private guy, but when he finally did, good luck.

18. from home by @gyukult | // f s a

- jungkook is the youngest of five boys, the last in line to truly inherit any his parents’ money. but what if his mom suddenly cuts him off due to his current poor behavior and he’s forced to learn how it feels like to be part of the working class?

19. black card by @minsprings | // f s

- black card fic and drabbles, also a chef’s kiss.

20. oh my god, they were (quarantined) roommates by @ot7always | f s

- what do you do when you’re quarantined for months on end with jeon jungkook - s tier cuddler, workout robot, and thirst trap extraordinaire? fuck him, you guess.

21. let the games begin by @venusiangguk | s

- just another fic where oc rides jk in his gaming chair pls still read it tho lmao its hot i promise

22. the probability of us by @jiminrings | f s

- jungkook’s the son of the university’s president, y/n’s cardigan is everyone’s favorite, and adjacent walls mean shared victories.

23. open when by @iluv-hobi | f

- jungkook likes to write letters to you, especially ones with purposes, like “open when ___”. one day, on a particularly bad day, you open, “open when you’ve had a shitty day”.

24. good day by @ilikemesometaetaes | f s

- his motive was made quite clear once he called you out of work. he just wanted to spend a nice day with his girlfriend. is that too much to ask for?

25. calculated by @whatifyoulivelikethat | // s

- some people would call you far too serious. some would call you stuck-up. and some would call you a bitch. but to freshman jeon jungkook, you’re the head calculus I TA noona – and he’s determined to fuck you.

26. brat taming by @sugasbabiie | s a f

- jungkook has been your roommate for almost a year. since the day he moved in he has acted like nothing but a spoiled little brat who is used to getting anything and anyone he wants. he eats your food, he doesn’t clean, he’s loud, oh and now he has colored his hair the exact shade of blonde as you. He’ll do anything to get under your skin. you’ve had enough of his filthy mouth and his fuckboy ways. it’s time to tame that bratty little roommate of yours. think you can handle it?

27. sugarplum energy by @bymoonchild | f s a

- you know no bounds nor depth with jungkook. while your fuck buddy loves sleeping in your bed and doing laundry for you with his favourite fabric softener, you are in love with a mysterious honeyed, velvety voice on soundcloud. all’s fine, until you find out that the voice that metaphors your heart to a sweet sugarplum melody actually belongs to the boy who has been taking up a special spot in your bed and in your heart, strumming at your heartstrings all this while. or, jungkook has one braincell, but it’s heart-shaped.

28. ancient history by @moononthejoon | a s f

- there is no way to deny that you and jungkook have chemistry. the two of you used to be a couple, after all. what happens when after a not-so-amicable breakup the two of you are cast as opposite leads of a movie?

29. that’s not daddy by @nochuobsessed | f

- jungkook comes home with a new hair color and his sons can’t tell if he’s appa or not. pretty cute! 10/10

30. no title by @himbojk | s

- jk got a blowie from his oc while on a zoom class meeting, like cam on with a whole set up but his oc under the table sucking the life out of him while he sits and tries to take notes .

31. dilf jk by @himbojk | // s f

- dilf jk drabbles.

32. no title by @himbojk | s

- blond jk with full tattoo sleeve who looks like the baddest boy but is actually baby and just wants a handie in the library while studying with his oc because she aspires to have those high grades.

33. no title by @noteguk | s

- bf!jungkook going down on the reader while they watch anime.

34. silent treatment by @blu-joons | f

- baby kook asking daddy kook to say sorry to mommy. 10/10 too!

35. getting railed by @dearlytea | s

- getting dicked by your boyfriend during a train ride.

36. the view by @koyamuses | s

- jungkook knows exactly what turns you on; every kink, every dirty fantasy that’s buried deep within your mind. he knows exactly how to make you beg for it.

37. let’s play: dirty by @jungkxook | f s

- on today’s stream, watch as the king of gaming jeon jungkook gets totally pwned by some newbie player on overwatch (he swears he was stream sniped)! to make matters worse, he can’t seem to focus anymore when you’re in the room but he promises that’s not because he’s in love with you or anything. use code ‘jungkook’ on any game purchase through steam at checkout for 25% off so that jungkook has something to feel better about! iloveyou btw!

38. more dilf!jk by @cutechim | s

- oc thirsting over jk, talk about finances, jungwoo is an innocent cock-block as infants are, disrespect towards a major film franchise.

39. you are inherently beautiful by @ggukachuwu | f a

- when y/n and jungkook accidentally reveal their relationship to the public because she walked in on him doing a vlive and now netizens and kmedia are tearing apart her appearance because y/n is chubby from struggling with pcos. jungkook takes it upon himself to cheer her up because he absolutely adores her.

40. morning with jk by @min-arya | f

- jungkook drabble of him catching his s/o admiring him in the morning with soft sleepy cuddles.

41. even a forest fire dies out by @9uk | a s

- it became from “grab a coffee with me?” to “why should I grab a coffee with you?” too fast for your liking. you had thought the both of you were so in love with each other—only to realise it was only you who had fallen into this trap of feelings. and as for jungkook, he might have just been as confused as you are.

42. all that we had by @starlightauroras-writes | a s

- four years, two months and five days ago, you lost the love of your life with no explanation. living with a failed marriage at such a young age without knowing why was impossibly hard, and when you’re invited to your high school reunion, knowing he would be there, you really don’t want to go. what happens when you do leaves you questioning fate.

43. aquarium by @whatifyoulivelikethat | // a

- life after jeon jungkook was grey. you had to find your own color, grow your own rainbow. but what would surprise you the most is the appearance of white cosmos, seven of them clutched tightly in kim taehyung’s hand.

44. contentment by @btsqualityy | f s

- oc’s using jk’s card to buy rug and the rest is history. 10/10!!

45. heartbreaker with a heart of gold by @filmflowersbangtan | a s

- love this!!! you know i love me some angst! 10/10!!!!!

46. the ikea test by @mercurygguk | f

- you and jeongguk face the IKEA test. successfully? sure!

47. before you universe by @ephemeralkookie | // a f s

- jungkook has taken a huge place in your life after he tattooed you, and you can’t even picture how life was before him. he has always been there for you since day one. but how will things change after you find out you’re pregnant?

48. christmas cream(pie) by @smoochkooks | s f

- a day before christmas dinner with your boyfriend’s parents, you discover another alternative way to use the chocolate cream you’re making. jungkook is more than willing to indulge in your little fantasy.

49. last minute by @moononthejoon | f s

- christmas day had gone by, and now you were back home after holidays with your family. your friends had agreed to have a late christmas party, but as always, you and jungkook procrastinated gift buying.

50. you go in knowing bros together by @blu-joons | f

- a cute fluffy knowing at knowing bros moment.

51. no title by @v-hope | f

- the way y/n would react when someone else flirts with jk and how he’d handle the situation.

52. hair dye by @mercurygguk | f s

- jungkook got his hair dyed while at work. you lose your mind the moment he steps through the door.

53. stay gold by @yeojaa | s

- blond!jk being a good boy?

54. crystal snow by @honeyj00ns | f

- when you join Jungkook and the rest of the guys for some fun in the snow, he can’t help but feel jealous.

55. 6:21 am by @sincerelyourfangirl | f

- in which he makes your morning extra special.

56. plan b by @btsracket | s

- dressing room quickie, unprotected sex request, use of Plan b pill

57. possession by @bngtanah | s

- jungkook is your boyfriend, sometimes you have to remind him what that means.

58. puffs and touches by @mintseesaw | f s

- “Stop doing that with your face, someone else is going to snatch you up”

59. the quiet things by @btsracket | s

- sleeping bag sex.

60. good boy by @ephemeralkookie | s

- secret, read to find out AHAHAHHA.

61. make it right by @jungkxook | a s

- you’re wholeheartedly, madly in love with jungkook and yet you shouldn’t be because it’s been almost a year since you broke up with him. worst part of it all is that you know he’s still in love with you too

62. it takes two by @junghelioseok | s

- struggling with the idea of your ex-boyfriend moving on, you enlist the help of your quiet roommate in a scheme that quickly spirals out of control.

jimin

1. picking petals by @cutechim | s

- you asked for a baby, so a baby is what you’re going to get.

taehyung

1. daddy by @btsracket | f s

- there’s only one choice when this happens on a date out.

2. love me or we both go down by @gukyi | f s a

- after going through with an arranged marriage to please his parents and secure his inheritance of the family business, kim taehyung thinks he’s got it all figured out. he doesn’t. apparently just being married to you isn’t enough, not when everybody and their mother can pick up on the fact that the two of you absolutely loathe each other. but taehyung wants his inheritance one way or another, so he decides that desperate times call for desperate measures: the two of you need to fall in love, and you need to fall in love fast.

3. saudade by @jiminssthetic | a s f

- a demanding idol lifestyle was something taehyung and yourself were all too familiar with. it wasn’t so hard when considering your unconditional love for one another, but lately, taehyung wasn’t the same anymore; and you decide it’s time to find out why.

4. ineffable by @99liners | f

- boyfriend taehyung takes care of his sick s/o.

5. tease by @caiuscassiuss | s

- you knew you were hot. you saw how the guys looked at you, how their eyes were drawn to a tight t-shirt or short skirt. and maybe this would fail epically—crash and burn like a failed experiment—but you wanted to get under kim taehyung’s skin the only way you knew how.

6. aquarium by @whatifyoulivelikethat | // a

got7

yugyeom

1. yugyeom as you boyfriend by @sunshinekookie | f

- i need more yugyeom fics in my life.

astro

eunwoo

1. rainy say saviour by @imsarahbum | f a

- upon seeing you getting bullied after school for being short, dongmin can’t help but step in and defend you - despite both of you not really knowing anything about each other.

anyway, thank you again for the writers please take care and be safe!

please free to recommend your favorite fic that i haven’t feature yet.

if the links won’t work and i labelled some fics wrong please let me know and i’ll try to fix it as soon as possible!

support the fic and the writers!

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urimaginespimp · 3 years

Text

Happiness (This Love pt 7)

Bucky x Reader (elemental witch)

Set during TFATWS (mostly ep 3)

Note: Angsty confrontation ahead, and some references to Mr. Perfectly Fine because its a bop.

previous part

——–

Bucky and Sam were trying to hide it, but they were fascinated with the amount of collectable expensive cars surrounding them, which Zemo claimed to be his.

“I spent years hunting people HYDRA recruited to recreate the serum. Because once it’s out there, someone can recreate an army of people… like the Avengers.” He stated, peeking out from the car where he was slouched down taking stuff, he needs for a trip.

“I ended the Winter Soldier program once before. I have no intention to leave my work unfinished. To do this, we’ll have to scale a ladder of lowlifes.”

“Well, join a party. We’ve already started.”

“First stop is a woman named Selby.” Zemo stated, now walking out with his stuff, before pausing to face the two men’s way again.

“But before that, it would be way safer for us if you get one of your old teammates with us. Preferably the witch.” He explained.

“We haven’t been able to reach Wanda for some time now.” Sam admitted.

“That’s unfortunate to hear, but I meant the one James was so enamored with.” Zemo clarified nonchalantly.

Sam’s lips twitched, trying not to crack a smile as Bucky glared at Zemo.

“We haven’t been in contact with her too.” Bucky answered in a low voice. He was getting irritated at the fact that Zemo even suggested to bring you into this.

“Actually, I have.” Sam spoke up. “But new Asgard is not a drive away.”

“That won’t be a problem.” Zemo grinned as he led them out to his private jet.

The entire way over to New Asgard, Bucky was quiet. He hadn’t told anyone, even his therapist, but the look in your eyes when he outright rejected you back in Tony’s Lake house was the last thing he sees every night before he falls asleep. The same set of eyes that would’ve loved him for a lifetime.

Would you even be glad to see him? He couldn’t help but feel anxious.

——–

It was already dawn when they arrived at New Asgard. Val greeted them having received a message from Sam as well after Y/N was unresponsive.

“Well, you, I expected.” she nodded at Sam. “Can’t say I’m pleased to see you, Mr. Change of Heart.” She looked at Bucky as if assessing him fully and Sam snorted at what she just called him. “And you I’m unsure of because I’ve never seen you before.” She nodded at Zemo.

“Val, it’s really great to see you, and holy smokes, Asgard looks rich as hell.” Sam was temporarily sidetracked. From what he last heard, New Asgard was a fishing port.

“This isn’t even half of how the old Asgard really was, but this is all actually because of Y/N’s effort.” She answered proudly.

“Where is she, anyway?” Sam asked. Bucky and Zemo simply assumed you were still sleeping given the time. But the light-almost silent steps on the pavement approaching behind them made all three men look behind.

Bucky felt his throat drying up when he saw that it was your form walking towards them. Here you were, lips red, hair even longer, in a small black strap dress, holding your heels on one hand, as you walked home. Your attention was set on your feet, as if they were the most fascinating thing you’ve seen, as they walk bare along the pavement. And he couldn’t help but note that there was a strong energy around you.

“Dude, stop staring. You’re gonna embarrass yourself.” Sam whispered at his side.

His low voice caught your attention, making your head snap to finally look up and slowdown from walking.

Sam was already smiling at you, undoubtedly glad to finally see you again, and you returned the grin. Then beside him, stood the man you’ve been trying to get over all these months.

His hair was shorter, reminding you of the James you’ve met when testing the time portal. Only difference is that while James was eager to talk and see you, this one in front of you wasn’t even looking up.

Looking at the third man with them, you stopped in your tracks.

“Sam, what the hell is this man doing out of prison, and on Asgardian property?” That was the first thing to come out of your mouth. Sam lightly hit Bucky on the arm to explain.

“We need him to help us find this group of super soldiers.” Bucky answered, finally looking up to meet your eyes. Turning your attention to him, he was surprised you didn’t even offer a small smile.

“Wakanda will get word of this, Barnes.” you told him, not breaking eye contact. You were mad. Wakanda owed him nothing yet they took him in and helped him. Now he was saying they not only broke their king’s killer out of prison, but is also working with him.

Behind the three men facing you, Val was standing with her arms crossed on her chest, close to losing it. She mouthed Barnes at you.

You sighed and walked up to Sam, exchanging a hug, a silent conversation of how much you’ve missed each other. Breaking away from him, you started walking past them, ready to get it over with and head to your house.

“What do you want? As you can see, I just got back and I’m in need of rest.” you asked, still walking.

“Look, you can go back to your parties right after, but we really need you for this. Please.” Bucky spoke up once again. Of course, he’d think you were merely partying your way through nights. But you were just too tired, and frankly, you didn’t feel the need to prove anything to him.

Turning to face them again, you were ready to turn them down but Sam was looking at you with the same pleading expression. How could you turn down someone who’s been nothing but nice to you? And you do feel guilty for not checking up on him as frequently as before.

Sighing, you faced Val and gave her a small nod, indicating to her that you were going. She raised her eyebrows in surprise.

“Fine. Just let me get ready.” heading into your home, you took a deep breath. You thought seeing him again would just make you feel like the pathetic, desperate woman you once were, but this time you couldn’t shake the feeling of hostility creeping up your chest every time you met his eyes.

So maybe you do kind of hate him now.

——–

You were across Zemo, catching up on the sleep you’ve missed on his private jet.

Bucky was seated just across from your left, and he couldn’t help but look at your sleeping form. You looked at peace, and it reminded him of the nights you both had in Wakanda where he’d ask you to stay with him after a nightmare, and the rare times when you’d fall back asleep first.

Then something he picked up from the conversation earlier started to cloud his thoughts. You had kept calling him Barnes. He had never heard you call him that until earlier. It sounded so… strange coming from you. It almost made him hate his own last name.

“You know, I’ve always found her of impeccable beauty.” Zemo spoke in a quiet voice to not disrupt your sleep. Bucky clenched his fist while Sam raised a brow at him. “Now, I never said I’m attracted to her. My heart is forever for my family, but I’m not blind.” he clarified, and noted the former winter soldier’s reaction.

“James, judging from your reactions every time I talk about her, I’m guessing you’re very fond of her.” He took a sip of his drink, waiting for a response – one Sam gladly provided.

“Oh yeah, if kissing her, then pushing her away and leaving her after a funeral is what you’d consider being very found, then by all means, Bucky’s crazy for her.” Sam glared at Bucky, making him uncomfortably shift in his seat.

“Now why don’t you tell us about where we’re going?” Sam shifted the conversation.

“I’m sorry. I was just fascinated by this…” He opened a book on his lap. “I don’t know what to call it, but I see Y/N’s name in here, and oh this part seems important… who is Nakajima?” and before Sam knew it, Bucky was up on his seat, with his metal arm on Zemo’s throat.

The act made you stir on your sleep, and sure enough, your eyes fluttered open, only to see Bucky threatening Zemo.

“If you touch that again, I’ll kill you.” He said in a low voice.

“What the hell is happening?” you broke the silence, making everyone turn to you. Bucky finally let him go, and returned to his seat, not looking at you. He felt almost ashamed that you had to see him act that way. He could only hope you hadn’t heard Zemo say your name was on that notebook.

“I understand that list of names. People you’ve wronged as the Winter Soldier.” Zemo stated, but then unexpectedly turned his attention to you. “I just can’t seem to understand why her-”

“Don’t push it.” Bucky cut him off.

“Miss Y/N. If you don’t mind me asking. How did the avengers manage to bring everyone back? We hardly get enough news in prison.” Zemo asked you with genuine interest.

“The simplest answer is through a time machine.” you nodded at him.

“Well that I know, but how did you know it would work?”

“We had volunteers to test it out. As a matter of fact, I was one.” Sam and Bucky were now looking at you in interest. They didn’t know about this part. “The first one was Clint, and he only had a few minutes to a timeline of his choosing. When that was successful, it was my turn to go and stay a little longer to make sure we wouldn’t experience any complications if we do so.”

“Where did you go?” Bucky found himself asking, and you turned your attention to him.

“I…” you couldn’t tell them you actually went to his time as a soldier in the camp. “I don’t want to talk about it.” you shut the conversation down and excused yourself to the restroom, leaving them confused.

Opening the door slowly to get out, you paused when you overhear Bucky saying something. “I uh… I went on a date for the first time.” he told in a low voice. You decided to remain behind the slightly ajar door. You hated how it made you feel a little pang in your chest.

He was getting his life back out there while you’ve only managed to only push the hurt deep down instead of addressing and getting rid of them. Maybe once you get back home, you’d give in to Val’s pestering about online dating.

“And?” You heard Sam asked in deadpan tone. It was only followed by silence.

“How about Miss Y/N? You would’ve been perfect together.” Zemo commented.

“Shut Up.” You heard him retort.

“No, let him speak. I mean he has no idea about what happened between you, but I kinda want to hear this.” Sam interjected.

“It’s just that judging by the wandering looks you’re failing miserably to hide, and her being so… uncaring towards you, I could only assume you did something that cost whatever bond you had.” Zemo carried on.

You couldn’t listen to them any longer. You knew what he was going to say next – that he just didn’t feel the same. So you slowly shut the door close again and decided to splash a little bit of water on your face.

When you got back, they were now in entirely different conversation. “Do we want to live in a world full of people like the Red Skull?” you heard Zemo ask, followed by a quick pause. “That is why we’re going to Madripoor.”

“What’s up with Madripoor? You guys talk about it like it’s skull island.” Sam asked confused.

“It’s an island nation in the Indian archipelago. It was a pirate sanctuary back in the 1800s.” Bucky answered him.

“It’s kept it’s lawless ways, but we cannot exactly walk in as ourselves.” Zemo explained further before looking at Bucky. “James, you will have to become someone you claim is gone.”

You could see he was dreading having to do so. And normally you would’ve already assured him that everything was going to be fine, but this time you opted to be silent and look out the window, missing how he and Sam also turned to your attention, surprised of your seemingly lack of concern.

His heart dropped.

——–

You came in Madripoor acting as the Smiling Tiger’s most trusted henchwoman. When he had to act as the Winter Soldier and follow Zemo’s orders to attack, you had to look away, and only hope that he was fine.

You were now in Sharon’s place after she unexpectedly saved your asses while on the run.

“Here. You can use my room to get ready. There’s hot water in the shower and feel free to use anything on my vanity dresser.” She handed you a black jumpsuit similar to what she had on, only that this one didn’t have sleeves like hers.

Taking it from her, you said thank you and turned to where she pointed her room is.

“I suggest going red on the lips.” She added just before you were about to close the door.

“You’ve read my mind, Sharon.” You smirked.

——–

Sam just promised Sharon he was going to try to get her name cleared, when you stepped out of her room and into where they were, now all ready for the auction party.

“You look beautiful, Miss Y/N.” Zemo raised his glass to you.

You rolled your eyes playfully. “Why, thank you punk. Been loving the coat you got on.” Everybody looked great. Bucky was looking dignified in a well pressed suit, and it was taking everything in you to not ogle.

Bucky was gripping the couch hard. How could you converse with Zemo so freely, when you haven’t even uttered a word to him save for a few quick glances. But hew knew Zemo was far from wrong. You were breathtaking.

“Val’s told me you’ve been going out every night. You dance often?” Sam asked you.

Taking your position next to Zemo, you smiled and decided to tell them what you’ve been working on.

“Well since I’ve secured New Asgard’s future already, I’ve devoted my nights to going about the nightlife nearby. Yeah, I dance every now and then, but that’s only when I know the rest of the night will be free of any trouble.”

“What do you mean by trouble?” Bucky couldn’t help but ask.

“Any trouble, really; robberies, killings, but the most common ones are assault. So, I go out dressed just like the others to blend in, but I rarely take part in the partying.” you explained to him. Sam gave you a smile. He was proud of you.

“Well for the rest of tonight at least, you’ve got nothing to worry about. Go dance.” Sharon smiled at you before getting up to start welcoming guests. “Lay low, blend in, enjoy the party.”

——–

The party was in full swing. You had no idea where the others have gone among the swarm of intoxicated dancing bodies in the room.

“May I get you a drink?” a man asked, appearing in front of you. He was tall, had pretty green eyes, dirty blonde hair, and a charming smile.

“You may… if I get your name first.” You smirked, which he returned.

“I’m James.”

“You’ve got be shitting me.” you found yourself whispering.

“I’m sorry?”

“Any other name I can call you, handsome?” you reached over to act like you were fixing his collar.

“How about Jay?” he smiled at you.

“Jay works just fine.” smirking, you let him lead you to the bar.

Unbeknownst to you, Bucky saw the whole ordeal. He couldn’t make sense of the feelings that kept creeping up on him, but all he knows for now is that he didn’t like what he saw one bit. And with all the smirks that’s graced your lips, he begins to realize he hadn’t seen your usual winning smile.

“Don’t break your teeth with all that clenching, Buck.” Sam was now standing beside him. “Come on, even Zemo’s dancing. What’s gotten that robot brain of yours all mad?” he pat Bucky’s shoulder.

When he was unresponsive, Sam followed the direction where he was glaring at. And sure enough, it was where you and the guy that approached you were standing close to each other, enjoying a drink and conversing.

“Okay, let me ask you something.” Sam started. “Do you, or do you not have feelings for her?”

It took him a while to answer. “I don’t know.” He finally muttered, still glaring your way. “I’m robot brain, remember?”

“Okay, fair enough… But man, you know she would’ve understood if you told her that you want to figure your feelings out first. You didn’t have to be all so casually cruel to her like that. Rhodey said she spent the 5 years during the blip mourning and waiting for you.”

The last part of what Sam just said caught Bucky’s attention.

“What did you just say?” He was caught off guard.

But before Sam could repeat himself, Sharon came with the information they need.

——-

Arriving in Riga Latvia, you got a few cuts and bruises from the fight that ensued while you joined Sharon in keeping an eye out as the guys talked to Nagel. The four of you were now walking to Zemo’s place when you spotted the first bead. You knew whom it belongs to. Glancing Bucky’s way, he was already looking at you. He must have seen it too.

“We’re gonna go on a walk.” He spoke to Sam and Zemo and nodded at you.

“You guys good?” Sam asked in concern.

“Yeah, we’ll see you guys in a bit.” You assured him. Turning away to look for other vibranium beads, it didn’t take long for Bucky to be beside you.

“It was just a matter of time, Barnes.” you said as he picked up another one placed by the corner.

Turning into an empty alley, Bucky called out into the open while holding the bead in between in thumb and index finger. “You dropped something.”

And you felt a presence behind you. Turning around, you smiled at an old friend.

“I’m here for Zemo.”

——–

“He’s a means to an end.” Bucky explained. And you remained by the corner as they conversed.

“Eight hours, White Wolf. Then we come for him.” Ayo stated. Turning to you, she offered a friendly smile. “The princess misses you. She said you’re in need of some…” She glanced Bucky’s way “…comforting.”

“You’ll be expecting a visit from me soon. I’m bringing you and Okoye some Starbucks.” you promised. You’ve been in touch with Shuri through chats, and she knows all about what happened between you and Bucky.

When Ayo left to go back with the other Dora Milaje, it was only you and Bucky left in the Alley.

“Y/N we need to talk.” he said before you could even turn to head back to where Sam and Zemo were.

“Barnes.”

“Would you stop calling me that?” you could see he was irritated.

“What?”

“Quit calling me Barnes. You never called me that. It was always Bucky.” He snapped at you. “Call me Bucky.”

You took a deep breath, trying to compose yourself. “I can’t.”

“What do you mean you can’t?” you could hear the frustration in his voice.

“Like you’ve said that day. We can’t start fresh when we’re constantly reminded of something we’re trying to forget. Calling you that would just bring about memories and feelings I’m trying to get rid of.” you answered honestly, looking him in the eye.

Hurt flashed on his eyes from what you’ve just said, but he couldn’t blame you. “Fine. Then call me James.”

You gave him a pained smile. “That won’t do.”

“Why?”

“I actually met James.” you finally told him. Looking at his reaction, one could tell he wasn’t expecting that.

“When I said back in the plane that I volunteered to be the second test subject for the portal, Nat and Steve got me in an old war nurse’s uniform underneath the suit and sent me back to a time where you were just rescued by Steve… and you actually got me to talk to you.” This was the first time you were talking about it. You didn’t even tell Steve what happened on your time there. All he knew was that you met and spent time with Bucky.

“They suggested it because they knew how much I was hurting from losing you. And I came there with the intention to leave with closure. But I ended up promising James I was gonna wait for you.” you tried to blink the tears that was threatening to spill away.

“I’m sorry.” He didn’t know what else to say. He hadn’t even thought about what you had to go through after losing so many people when the blip happened. It was merely a few seconds for him.

“I don’t need your fake niceties. I pulled your body into mine every goddamn night when you had nightmares. I gave you almost two years of my time just helping you get back on your feet. I loved you, and I didn’t expect anything in return. I just wanted to let you know.” You harshly wiped a tear that escaped.

“But then you just had to fucking kiss me and for once, make me think we could be something…” you chuckled bitterly. Bucky remained quiet, just listening to you. “… only to tell me right after it was a fucking mistake and that you want to start fresh alone. How do you think that made me feel?”

“Y/N I’m sorry. Please let me make it up to you.” He started to walk towards you, and stopped when he was only one to two steps away.

“I fucking hate you, Barnes.” You found yourself saying unexpectedly, wounding him further inside. But then you shook your head. “No, I didn’t mean that. I’m sorry, I can’t think straight through all of my fury.”

“It’s okay. I wouldn’t blame you if you do.”

You took a deep breath, realization hitting you. “You know what, I don’t think I could make this all go away by making you a villain. I’m still hurting, yes. But I guess it’s the price I pay for being delusional for what, seven years? I could’ve stopped at one. And now I’m just trying to face reinvention.”

“I didn’t realize -” you cut him off for once.

“I heard you went out on a date for the first time. I’m proud of you.” You genuinely smiled at him. “And I realized that I want to seek happiness too.” There was a glint of relief in your eyes, maybe from finally letting it all out.

For the first time since seeing each other again, Bucky saw the old you come into the picture – soft, caring eyes, and an infectious smile with a hint of mischief behind them.

And for the very first time, the feelings that kept creeping inside him every time you were around had made themselves known.

So imagine his horror when he heard the next thing you said paired with a gentle smile.

“I’m letting you go, Bucky.”

He was in deep trouble.

——–

tags: @eternalharry @iheartsebandchris @lizzarooni @the-ayo-lit @tanyaherondale @knowyourworth-sellyoursoul @eliwinchester-barnes

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clandestine-j · 3 years

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GOSSIP GIRL, EP. 5 REACTION & REVIEW

alright

this episode was pretty good, i'm here for this vibe if they continue with it. lots of shit happened, i have feelings about it so lets go!

(this episode also helped me discover i really am a horrible person lol)

ADULTS:

NICK X KATE: Nope! Full stop, don't want it. Bitch you nasty for being friendly with him while posting about his daughter. Nick x Davis is the true otp.

JORDAN & CO: JAIL. Plain and simple, ya'll enjoying this too much. Jail. Please. I beg. Ya'll are sick. A gun in a school and you're Bruce Wayne? Bitch.

KATE: As stated above and addition, I started to be cool with you. You still have to go jail but after serving time, I might be cool with you afterwards. Then you flip flop again went back to doing the worst. Limiting the comments doesn't help. Raggedy.

RAFA: PRISON. And let me tell you, my boy, Aki, he got Fox News in the back of his pocket so, step the fuck back. That's why Max figured yo ass out. GO TO PRISON. PRISON. And he tried to play him for a fool at the end. Prison isn't enough, vanish.

KIKI: SIS! You gotta get it together for your daughter. She can't be the more but, I feel you. Do better, be better. It's not as easy as just saying it but if you have family you can rely on, start to rely. You're daughter her habits from you.

OUR KIDS:

JULIEN: BIG SISTER ENGERY THIS EPISODE. I'M LOVING IT AND LOVING IT. I think she can stop trying a bit now and but I'm here for the connection, I'm here for it all. Quick thinker, knew the circle wasn't tight. She wasn't really there for Audrey but she has been, I think she just got caught up. Since Zoya moved there, they haven't had the chance to just be sisters, to just love each other without any drama. They have not only the past month to make up for but years and she wants to do right by Zoya. I'm glad she realized at the end that, she needed to be there for Audrey but I'm not upset because I get it. I also LOVE that she finally, stood up to Monet and say and get wit it or get it out. Boom. I've been waiting.

OBIE: I wanna ride hard for you because people keep talking about your hair line. I think you need to learn that relationships will have ups and downs and it won't be perfect all of the time. I feel like Obie is chasing perfection, no fights, no problems, just coasting and it won't happen, it'll never happen. Do better. That being said, I'm glad we got something from Obie. I'm glad we got to see him being the Prince of New York. It's hella shady that you didn't just come out with the truth and you wanted to do a song and dance but Obie is doing more and using that name so yes, give me character stuff.

MONET: BYE. No, but really. Amazing one liners as always. I liked the little fight with Julien, I felt a bit of distress, I'm into it. While I did expect her to cross Julien, I didn't expect her to cross Luna and all her hard work, that was dirty but you moving the story and shit so what can I say? I don't think Monet will go for the crown but I could see her finding someone to prop up. I want more of her parents, maybe she has a very bad relationship with her mom? Also, sis, Julien is right, you can't keep jumping clients when they want to change and do up their image. No sis, no. (And you almost tanked Julien's career soooooooooooo)

AUDREY: SIS U WERE SINKING. Okay, so Audrey isn't a character I feel that connected too. She's bitchy, a little less than Lunet but still. So, I have a hard time caring but objectively, you should break up with Aki. You know him by now and maybe it's comfort or you really want to have something. It's okay, break up with him because he's a friend and not the boyfriend you need. You want someone who will let you vent, not solve. Not see. Go live with Julien. The fight with your mom is understandable (And realize that forcing people on her won't work.) because you shouldn't have to be the back bone of the family. The dad line was a low blow, the airport thing was a low blow but you're a teenage girl and what can I say? Nothing, just don't become the woman you hate even though parents are the models. That being said, if I had seen her interacting with her dad more, the line wouldn't have been as low. But I can't tell that he loves her, we don't even get a phone conversation. Do better writers. And I think at the party, she got a chance to see how her mom felt. I don't know what happened to move but I think it has something to do with her meds. Audrey, be a boss. Break up, tell him that ya'll are better as friends because it won't go has bad as you think it will. Move in with Julien (I just want to see it happen.)

ZOYA: I don't even have much to say. My sis was popping off this episode. I got sass, I got questioning her relationship with Obie. Yes, talk about how you feel about him with the girls and go girl stuff. I really felt her when she said she wanted her own friend, writers please give her, her own friends. PLEASE. I'M BEGGING. Simon, you dirty dog. I'm glad Obie got it out but he could've said something to her. I'm sick. I'm more upset that he wasn't a new friend or a love interest. Just ugh. But I liked Zoya this episode, she could worry about normal teenage stuff for the most part without having to worry about being attacked by Monet and Luna.

LUNA: MY GOOD SIS. Just like I didn't expect Monet to turn on her, I didn't expect her to not stand by Monet. I know she was enjoying the Zoya vibe and thought it was cute, she was becoming a bit more friendly sure but I wow, yas. Go off girl. I want to see more of fashion stylist Luna, a Luna sponsored fashion show where Aki models and drama happens? I'd be here for it, I am here for it.

MAX: I was ready to box. Listen. I was ready to fight this point as much as I felt for him. So, the feeling for him. He honestly, believes that Rafa is good for him. And he was catching feelings? He thought Rafa needed him in his life because he had no family, he also has no family in a sense to him at least. So, he's really caught up in this man. And I feel so bad that he said he's sober when he's with him or something along those lines. That's heartbreaking. I'm glad that talk in the end pulled him out of it, I'm glad he realized that he had a hand to play in his friends not wanting to be around him or deal with him. I'm glad he followed them and was in on the hug. Wonderful. Now my dude, you do not deserve Aki, not as a romantic partner or a friend. My boy was seriously worried, and you blew down on him WHILE using a nickname for his nickname....sick. I was ready to throw hands, like. My spirit was not right. That was so low. I keep seeing people say that because Max wasn't in a relationship, Audrey shouldn't feel some type of way and Aki is just letting his hurt roll off because he's worried but while you didn't have a duty in the relationship, you had a duty as a friend, to both of them. You ghost for a week and say nothing, no talking about the blow up or the outing and you running with this little stanky thing, you try to ease back into the group, no. And you still don't deserve Aki's time. Like. My dude did not hit you up after the kiss, he was not checking for you on that dating app, he was interested in other mens, you sat between the couple. Okay. He had been checking on you from jump. Just no. I'm sick of the shit. Never step to my boy like that again.

AKI: MY boy. Lemme get this out the way. You need to listen, not solve or give perspective. Like, she doesn't need it. I get your friends in danger but express how serious you think this is to her. I get that a long-distance relationship might not bother you and you think things will work out because there are bigger problems but talk to her. Re-assure her. Or break up with her her. As I said before, ya'll will not hate each other if you break up. And learn to just, even, pretend or something but you struggle in this aspect. Do better. That being said, Aki, episode MVP. He said, something is off, take him down. My perfect himbo man, said not my watch. And listen, you can't be as pushy because people don't respond but I'm glad you were on it. You knew. You said, I'mma run up on this man and you did. Yes. That being said, stand up for yourself, this boy does not deserve your energy. I get it. You might have a crush, this is bestie but bestie has not been treating you right for a while. And this was a new love. You're too loving, let some of that going at Rafa energy pop out around the friend group. But you a king and you care so much, just re-focus for now. Find you a cute lil thang and make the boy jelly. I need this resolved before I can accept anything canon, fanfics is where I'll be. But overall, Aki was making moves, you gotta learn something from the right wing media mogul.

GROUP: I finally feel like I talk about them as a whole. I wish they would've shown the others being upset by Max's ghosting because ya'll acting lowkey outta pocket and I didn't see anyone but Audrey and Aki check for this boy. Like, do you really care? But he fit into the group hug at the end. I know Monet saw a rising star in Zoya at the bar place, you make this a powerful DUO. YOU KNOW YOU WERE FEELING HER. Luna and Monet roll their eyes Audrey but ya'll bet not play like the three of ya'll don't enjoy gossip, fashion, talking about people and lowkey making fun of Zoya's newbie-ness together. Honestly, I'm happy we got more group interactions and little moments, I can start to kind of see how they were friends for a while even if all of them aren't close.

Random Thoughts:

how was your son missing for two weeks on and off and there isn't more panic, you different but oh no heartbreak

aki is so loving towards everyone's parents, i love it

i also love that he assumed max was with aki

audrey as the child as it worse but her kiki's acting makes me feel for her more lol

the two girls were a bit of fun, i'd like to see monet take them down or build them up for fun

"i'm chuck bass" + the lil pull was great

i feel like max was already thinking about them becoming more when he mentioned audrey pushing him out but i'll take crumbs so he was probs just thinking about sex or the group as a whole

kate get out of nick's life, nick keep her out

zoya stop talking to that woman

jordan eww no, you can have kate

i'll ship obie and aki to get aki with someone that likes him and loves him, they talk, they have do something, i'll take it, whatever

i want throuple and i want akimax but not like this, i can't take the threesome scene unless max say's sorry and aki ducks him for half the episode if it's not that, i don't want it

maybe it's the start of a dream and it ends

(i do really want the ship but i don't trust the writers or the characters)

SIMON, I WAS ROOTING FOR YOU

who or what was max suppose to be?

why am i getting teachers and not family, i've seen jordan just one too many times

rafa prison

obie had shit to do this episode, use the money, i wanna see it

when will a student or random party gain control of gossip girl, give me that

rafa prison

i also think i’m a horrible person because i care more about stopping rafa than audrey’s home life so i was rooting for aki

overall, solid episode, maybe the footing has been found? i'm here for it and ep 6 looks like it's about to pop off

#c;gg #gossip girl reboot #gossip girl hbo #akeno menzies #max wolfe #zoya lott #monet de haan #audrey hope #luna la #obie bergmann iv #julien calloway

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caxsthetic · 4 years

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Lost to Him

Miya Atsumu x F!Reader

He would do anything for them, even if that means he sacrifices his own happiness.

Pt. 2 < Part 3 > Ep.

"This is the longest time the two of you didn't talk to each other," The Miya's mother cut the silence on the dinner table one particular day, "You guys better settle this problem, fast. I don't know what it is about, but I don't like seeing my sons like this." She gracefully dab her lips before standing up from the table, finished with her dinner.

It was silence, just like these past few weeks. Yes, it's been five weeks since Miya Atsumu broke up with you through text. And the twins wouldn't talk to each other if it's not necessary. Osamu was enraged, remembering how your body flushed in the cold snows that day.

"You are stupid." That's the only thing he said before standing up, following his mother to clean his plate. Atsumu let out a long sigh before banging his forehead on the dinner table, contemplating his decision one more time, the decision that will last forever.

Volleyball practice was never the same these last two months without you being there. You were usually there to bring the whole team some onigiri, stopping him when he's too absorbed with practice, cheering him on when he does a service ace, it's all just silence now.

"Hey, Samu." The setter called out to his twin who was now laying in their bed, "Where were you going just now?" After the confession about how the wing spiker loves you, he just went to somewhere and came back around half an hour after.

"That's none of your business," Osamu's voice was full of anger, he couldn't believe that his twin just kissed someone else. Someone else that's not you.

The two of them just lay on their own bed, both couldn't sleep because their minds were filled with a certain girl. The setter was thinking about his girlfriend, someone that he took for granted. The wing spiker was thinking about someone that he loves, but couldn't have because she was taken.

They were thinking about you, the one girl who owned both of their hearts.

"D-Do you really love her?" Atsumu voiced what has been lingering inside his mind. He never stuttered before, but right now, he was just too afraid all of a sudden. Osamu blinked, noticing how his twin spoke differently.

"I do." The setter bit his lips by hearing those two words. Two simple words but it got him insane immediately. Atsumu may not look like it, but he loves his twin brother so much. The fact that they were in love with the same person was the biggest obstacle in his life, "Why?"

Why indeed. The question caught him off guard. He didn't particularly know why his heart acted like it would stop at any moment. Maybe because right now, he was in the middle of letting the two of his most precious people in the world for being together.

"Since when?" He cleared his throat, trying to dig as much information as he could. It scared him now, knowing someone else loving you. He never bothered if it's just some random guy, he wouldn't even bother if it's the best setter in the world.

But it was his twin brother, someone who breathed the first air together with him at the same time.

"Since the first time we cooked together," Atsumu almost choked by the answer. He was lost when it came to who was the one loving you longer. The first time they made the plan, they were still in the second term of their first year of junior high.

Five years, Miya Osamu has been in love with you for five years and his twin brother didn't even notice it.

How hurt it would be for the grey haired boy to see him barge into the door that day after his first kiss with you and shouting, "I couldn't believe she agreed to be my girlfriend."

Osamu didn't need to ask who the girl was at that time, he knew too well. The fact he had been silent when they were so lovey dovey in front of him, it was all because he felt like he needed to get used to it. Because he knew too, that the girl he loves, fell for his twin instead of him.

"I am sorry," Now, this is something that Osamu thought would never get out from his twin's lips. He immediately looked down to the bunk bed where the setter lay.

"Are you sick?" They just looked at each other and blinked, "Did I just hear you say sorry?" Atsumu glared at him, but it was more like an annoyed glare rather than an angry one.

"I am not," The setter flicked his twin's forehead, "But I am really sorry." Osamu just sighed and got back to his previous position. His grey orbs staring at the ceiling. It's weird that talking about it made him feel relieved.

"There's nothing to be sorry for," He knew how much Atsumu loved you, he realised how his brown orbs would lit up immediately at the sight of you. And to see the two of them happy together felt like he had done the right thing after all, "Just do something for the two of you."

But the tragic things between them, twins would always be twins. No matter how different they were, they share the same thought every now and then. And now, they thought the same about you.

Your friends were all worried about you when they saw you the next day after you broke up. There was a dark circle under your eyes, it was puffy and you looked so pale. They knew that you and the famous setter were on a rough path, but they didn't think the two of you would end the journey there.

The pain was still there no matter how many days were passed. It was lunch time now, and you didn't bother to buy some lunch. You unlocked your phone, searching for his name. What you did was self-destruction, it hurt you every time you saw his name. But somehow, you couldn't just forget everything about him.

Your daydreaming was cut short when you saw a plastic of onigiri dropped on your desk. You blinked and looked up to see a familiar face. The face that you were longing for, the face that was so similar to someone that you love. If it's not because of the grey orbs, they would have the same facade.

"Your friends said you never get out to buy lunch." You were just silent as he sat on the chair in front of you, too shocked to emit even one word, "So, I supposed I would give you this instead." There's no expression on his face, but how the words rolled from his lips, you knew that he cared, "Please eat-"

He widened his eyes at the sight if you. Your eyes were glossy as tears were already prickling at the side of your orbs. You bit your lips, trying to control your emotion that was at the peak right now.

You missed this, you missed this so much that it hurts. You missed how the twins would show up at your class and dragged you to the cafeteria. You missed the taste of their cooking, you even missed how horrible Atsumu cooking was.

Since that day, you haven't felt any of those habits anymore. It's not just Atsumu who was gone from your life, the days changed drastically that you didn't even recognize it anymore.

Osamu didn't have tissue or a handkerchief to wipe the tears away, so he decided to wear his thumb instead. He was frantic inside, it broke him every time he saw you cry like this. He felt guilty, since he knew the one who caused this forlorn state of yours was his twin.

"I-I am sorry for crying-" You sobbed and tried to smile, wiping your remaining tears by yourself, "I looked so miserable oh my god." You snorted, something that was not lady-like at all. But it's something you always did to turn your sadness into a joke.

He just gave you a little smile. That smile was so genuine and soft, unlike his twin that was more into a smirk and cheeky smile. Once again, he pushed the onigiri on you, silently begging you to eat it. You chuckled at this and unwrapped the plastic.

You bite it, and you immediately close your eyes with how much the taste warmed your heart. It brings nostalgia to your soul, remembering how the smooth rice would roll in your tongue so easily. You must have noticed that late night onigiri was made by Osamu instead of your boyfriend, or now, your ex-boyfriend.

The taste was similar yet so different. Atsumu would like the filling to be more savoury, while Osamu would love to balance the flavor so there's no overwhelming taste. The two were different, but you love it all nevertheless.

The wing spiker put his chin on your desk, noting every single thing from your face that he could catch. You teared up, but he had a gut feeling that it's not because of the same reason from before. So he smiled, gazing at you with adoration from his grey orbs.

"It's good?" He asked with a pure curiosity, he added something different and wanted you to taste it. He wanted you to be the first person who judged his cooking. It's not like you were a professional taster or something, but he knew you would evaluate it fair and square.

"It's perfect, Samu." He loves it, how his name rolled from your tongue like a blessing, "It's new isn't it? The taste was so familiar, but I could taste something else inside." The grey haired boy let out a small grin and straightened his posture.

"Yeah, about that-" It's like he was someone else when it comes to food. He could talk for hours about it until everyone would be bored. But you would never, there's always a glimmer in his eyes every time he talked about it.

You loved it, the passion that was emitted from someone when they talked about something that they love so much. You were always there at their practice before, because you loved to see the setter's eyes when he played. Just like now, you were just eating up the remaining onigiri in silence, eyes focusing on the boy in front of you.

He may look identically the same with Atsumu, but he was a whole different person. Osamu was always the gentle one, he didn't really like to draw attention. But he could be snide and his sarcasm was always on point.

This is the first time you actually looked at him with different light. You noted how he moved his hand a lot when he talked about food or how he raised his eyebrows when he asked for opinion.

The two of you were so absorbed with the warm conversation. A pair of brown eyes bore inside the classroom through the window as he saw his twin talk to you so freely.

He wanted that, he wanted to be the one who talked with you. Goofing around like he used to do with you every single day. But he didn't want to break the smile that you create on your visage, something that was missing from you since the day his pride was eating him alive.

You looked so calm now, talking to his twin like the break up never happened. He smiled lovingly at the sight before walking away from his spot. That was his intention from the start after all. When he knew how much his twin loves you, he knew for sure that it was the best to let you go.

Atsumu was someone who would do anything to get what he wanted. And he wanted to be selfish like he always did to have you in his arms again. But then, his way of thinking started to change. Because now, it's resolving around his twin too.

You were not just someone that he loves, it's not just him that wanted you forever in his life. But his twin always wanted you in his life too, and this tore him apart every day since he knew the facts.

For him, loving you is a blessing. You were the first person that could make him feel like this. You were the only person that he wanted to keep in his life beside his family. But then again, you were someone that his twin loves so much.

And he couldn't endure to be the one who kept you from someone that could treat you better than himself.

"Why the hell did you do that?" Atsumu paused the game when he heard his twin's voice, "Why did you break it off like that?" He knew that the wing spiker finally understood the reason behind his action that he took. So he just let out a long sigh and continue to play,

"It doesn't matter now," It's true, he already made up his decision, and he didn't want to change that. Suddenly, the console on his hand was being ripped off from his grasp.

"IT IS MATTER TO ME!" Osamu gripped his collar, and it brought back a memory from a few weeks ago, "Why?" He asked again, desperation emanated from the grey orbs, "Why did you break it off when you still love her?"

Atsumu smiled, and it was the only answer that the wing spiker needed. He dropped the setter gently to the ground. Knowing for sure why his twin decided to break up with you. Osamu sat on the carpeted floor of their shared bedroom, trying to process what just happened in their life.

"You love her though, right, Tsumu?" His voice was like a whisper, he didn't actually need a confirmation. He knew his twin too well, "I don't know how your mind works sometimes."

"We are the same, Samu." Atsumu lay on the ground, looking at the ceiling, "We both want her to be happy, and at the same time," He turned his head, looking at his twin brother who was now emitting guilt from his face, "We knew who suit her better."

Osamu snorted at this, shaking his head with the newfound information. The two of them were twins after all, they wanted you to be happy, and they wanted their twin to be happy with her.

But there's only one twin who could have you, and Atsumu knew immediately that he had lost from the battle of having you. No matter how much he loves you, he could only hope that it was the right decision to let you go.

"You are stupid," Osamu kicked the setter's arm with a playful demeanour, "Really stupid and just an utter imbecile." Atsumu's eyebrows twitched at the insult, "But thank you,"

Atsumu was ready to throw another insult at his twin, but he stopped when he heard the last three words. He smiled, could already picture you with his twin brother instead of him. Slowly, he was sure that you would open up your heart for someone else.

Even if it's not him, even if it would never be him again to be the one who holds you close, he knew it was the best path that he chose. Either for you, or for his twin.

"You are welcome."

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ༶• ┈┈ ⛧ ┈ ♛ ♛ ┈ ⛧ ┈┈ •༶ *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

Tagged Lovelies:

@allywritesimagines @benewol @letmeshouyou @nitricflame @vventure @heccingdead @muffins-puffins @miyulovestowrite @nanashinanashi @muffngw @vlovers-world @proplayer-kenma @kashika @cuddlyasahi @blacckdiamondposts @muffngw @baby-boy-taichi @of-heroes-and-dreams @bobothecircusclown @call-me-prodigy @xjaelee @miyatsunami @ncityluvvs

#atsumu miya #miya atsumu #atsumu x reader #miya atsumu x reader #atsumu miya x reader #atsumu miya imagine #atsumu miya scenario #atsumu miya drabble #miya atsumu imagine #haikyuu!!#haikyuu #haikyuu imagine #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu scenarios #haikyuu drabble #haikyuu season 4 #atsumu fluff #atsumu angst

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sinfulshelbys · 4 years

Text

Until We Meet Again | Shelby! sis

Bonnie Gold x Shelby! sister reader

Warnings: angsttttt, death :”(, (i like pretending that ep 5x02 didn’t happen but here i am writing about it)

Request: some angst with Bonnie and shelby sis?

word count: 1.7k

You were the most well put together out of the Shelby family. At least, that’s what people of Small Heath would tell everyone.

You were able to calm your siblings, especially Tommy, when they got set in a blaze of nothing but fury. You made sure to visit your older neighbours regularly and made sure they were safe and taken care of. You visited the orphanage and took the time out of your busy schedule every Friday to sit and read to all the children who admired you.

Y/N Shelby was an angel born in hell.

But if those same people who spoke those words were to see you now, you’re not quite sure how they would act. You looked like a walking disaster, from the black makeup stains that lined under your eyes to the skirt you haven’t had the energy to change out of for the three days. You were completely and utterly broken.

You watched as the vardo in front of you bursted into flames causing soft tears to fall down your puffed cheeks. The same vardo that you shared so many memories with him in. Your Bonnie.

You knew that your family were watching you from the corners of their eyes – you choosing to stand away from the small crowd that have come to honour your love with Bonnie’s father, Aberama.

The older man had taken your hand in his, trying to anchor you both to reality before you lost yourselves in pain.

It wasn’t long before you couldn’t be there any longer, squeezing Aberama’s hand once before turning on your heels – walking into the open field, away from the memorial.

Reaching a clearing, you sat on the edge of a small lake before letting yourself finally break. Your cries came out pained and in gasps, your hand clutching your shirt while you tried to breathe.

He was gone. Your Bonnie was gone and there was nothing you could do to bring him back.

You could still remember the moment that you had found out, you had left the campsite early that morning with Polly – despite not wanting to. But Tommy wanted the family to attend a gala he had organised now that he was politically involved, which is what you did.

You had spent the entire night glued to your brother, Finn’s side – until you noticed Tommy storm towards the door to his house, pulling his gun from his waistband.

So with rushed footsteps, you pushed past all the rich snobs to catch sight of a sobbing Aberama yelling and pointing a gun towards Johnny Dogs, while your brother tried to get him to put the weapon down.

With a deep from, you had rushed towards the three men – hoping to be able to talk some sense into Aberama who had taken you under his wing as soon as he found out you were dating his son.

“What the fuck is going on?” You called out, bunching up your skirt as you made your way down the steps and onto the gravel that made the soles of your black heels turn grey.

Tommy was quick to turn to you with wide eyes, waving a hand in your direction for you to stop.

“Y/N, get inside!” He ordered, anyone else would’ve been smart to follow his instructions, but you ignored him.

Walking towards Aberama who was still manically waving his gun in the air, you softly grasped his hands in yours – taking the cold metal weapon from his grasp.

“What’s going on, Mr Gold?” You whispered, forcing the older mans focus onto you. “Why are you pointing a gun at Johnny?”

Aberama only let out a loud sob, it was one that you had heard countless times from your siblings when your brother John had died – one that could only be expressed when you had suffered a loss so painful it felt like someone was clawing at your heart; trying to rip it out.

You instantly knew.

“No,” you muttered, taking a slight step back from Aberama who kept shaking his head – you stared at him as if willing him to be wrong. “No, no, no!”

“He was the only one who knew where we were!” Aberama spat towards Johnny – the innocent man begging for someone to just believe that he hadn’t given the Gold’s camp away. “My son is dead!”

Those four words were the confirmation that had you crumbling into a heap on the floor. Tommy was quick to try to catch you, ultimately ending up on the ground with you as he pulled your thrashing body to his chest.

He knew the pain of losing your love all too well.

All he could do was sit and hold you, ignoring the gunshot that his wife, Lizzie, fired into the air as she yelled for everyone to get away from her home. He didn’t let go even as you begged for him to – even when you tried to push him away.

He didn’t let you go.

That was why Tommy was the one to follow after you as you walked away from the funeral – his heart aching when he saw his little sister in a heap of tears.

He didn’t say anything as he rushed over to you, pulling your hands away from your neck – placing them above his heart so you could feel it beat.

“Y/N,” he whispered, watching as you kept shaking your head. “Hey, focus on my heartbeat, eh? Focus on the beats and count.”

You tried, he could tell by the little crease that formed between your eyebrows and the way you kept taking huge shaky breaths. Focusing on his heartbeat was something that he had done since you were little and lost your mother – it was a simple way to ground you, but it had never not worked before.

With a shake of your head, Tommy could tell that it wasn’t working – quickly pulling you to his chest as he sat down in the wet grass with you; not giving a shit about the stains that were going to ruin his new suit.

“It hurts,” you whimpered, taking your older brothers hand in your own as you focused on calming your erratic breathing. “It hurts so fucking much, Tom. I need it to stop. Please make it stop.”

Tommy swore that was the moment his heart well and truly broke. You were the one person in his life that wasn’t supposed to be tainted – the one person he was supposed to protect from everything bad. But here you were after losing the love of your life and he didn’t know how to help you.

“It’s my fault. If I hadn’t gotten involved with him, he would still be here-”

“Stop,” Tommy shook his head, wrapping his arms around you tighter. “It’s not your fault. Believe me when I tell you. I thought it was my fault with Grace, and it almost ruined me – you saw that. Don’t do this to yourself.”

Silence settled over the pair of you, only the sounds of the trees rustling in the wind and the water gently running could be heard – until you spoke up.

“All I wanted was a happy ending,” you whispered, afraid to speak any louder. “I had that with Bonnie. But we’re poison, Tom – anyone we touch is in danger because of us. Maybe we’re not supposed to ever be happy, maybe this is the price we pay for being Peaky Blinder devils.”

Tommy bit his tongue at the way you spat the words your family had thrown at them all too often. But he also couldn’t help but think that maybe you were right – maybe these losses were the price your family had to pay for the evil things that happened in the shadows.

“Aberama told me to give this to you,” Tommy muttered into the open air, his hand reaching into the pocket of his trousers to pull out a small box. “He said that when you’re ready to collect Bonnie’s rings – you can. This, however, he wanted you to have now.”

Your hands tentatively reached for the box, taking it out of your brothers hold before slowly opening it – letting out a cry when you caught sight of the diamond ring.

“He asked for my blessing a month ago,” Tommy pressed a kiss to your forehead as you shuffled around in his lap to look at his face – a solemn look gracing his usually hard features. “The boy spent months trying to gain the fucking courage to ask you which annoyed us to our wits end. Aberama said that the day it happened he was on his way to the gala and was finally going to do it.”

Your sight was clouded by an on-stream of tears, your arms wrapping around your brothers shoulders as you buried your face in the crook of his neck. Tommy let you openly cry for the future you had lost with your love. He let you seek comfort in his embrace, worried that if he let you go too soon you might succumb to the darkness just like he had.

When you had calmed down a bit, you pulled away from your brother – giving him a soft smiled before shuffling off his lap.

“Would you be able to give me a minute alone?” You softly asked, knowing that Tommy would understand.

He knew that you were overwhelmed with so much grief that it would take you a long while to finally make peace with everything that had happened – so he let you have this moment. Pressing a final kiss to the crown of your head, Tommy stood up and brushed off his suit before walking back to your family – glancing back at you every few seconds until you were out of his sight.

You were left alone, red-rimmed eyes focused on the pretty ring that you hadn’t removed from the box – just staring at it.

“You should’ve asked,” you spoke into the open air; hoping that wherever he was, he could hear you. “I would’ve said yes, Bon. You had nothing to worry about.”

With shaky fingers, you took out the ring – holding it up so the gem met the sunlight casting pretty rainbow glows around you.

You weakly smiled, sliding the piece of jewellery onto your ring finger. “I don’t know how I’m supposed to do this without you, Bon. You promised to always be here, but now you’re just gone and I’m so lost without you.”

You words were met with expected silence as you let out a sigh and wiped the tear tracks from your cheeks before rising to your feet. Staring out into the beautiful field in front of you, you briefly shut your eyes.

“Until we meet again, my love.”

Until you meet again.

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kittypurritto · 5 years

Note

Helllu! I see you've been watching lots of chinese/korean dramas. Can you rec your favs?

Hello!! Of course I can n.n (sorry it took so long to answer, I kept making changes to this aha). I’ve decided to list my current top 3 favourites, because apparently I’ve watched a lot.

Okay guys, here goes.

Chinese dramas:

So lately the past year or so of my life has been consumed by cdrams (and recently kdramas by extension), but here are some of my faves that I’ve watched.

The Untamed

Anyone who follows my blog knows my crazy obsession with this amazing show. It’s based off of a novel called the Grandmaster of demonic cultivation (has an anime with the same name– s2 is slowly being released right now). The story takes place in a world ruled by the evil Wen Sect. Wei Ying and Lan Zhan cross paths and become good friends (hardcore bromance). Wei Ying tries to save innocent Wen from death, and in the end, he lost almost everything. After going missing for 16 years, the pair find each other again and try to find the real villain.

It’s full of action, mystery, adventure, heart ache, supernatural ghouls, longing, whumping, and an amazingly attractive cast that should honestly be illegal. If you’re looking for a show with lots of emotional pain that will swallow you whole, then you’re in the right place.

P/s. the 2 mains sing their love song which makes it that much more beautiful/painful.

Ps/s. IT ALSO JUST GOT PUT ONTO NETFLIX GUYS. No excuses not to binge it, and when you do, dm me so we can fangirl together.

Guardian

Another drama based off of a novel, with gay bros, longing, and adventure. Shen Wei is an immortal (kind of), and currently a university professor that has been waiting centuries for his lover/friend (Yunlan) to repay him for what he gave Shen Wei and will do anything for him. Zhao Yunlan is the head of the SID, a department that solves mysteries and crimes with supernatural origins. Together they help save others, solve mysteries, and save the world from Shen Wei’s evil twin brother.

All I can say about this one is that if you haven’t seen it, you’re seriously missing out (but warning, the cgi is horrible lmao). It was also super amazing seeing Zhu Yilong in a main role like this. The king of micro-expression seriously doesn’t let us down.

Legend of Fuyao

This show had consumed my soul for about a full month and a half until I finished it. When I finished watching, it left me sad that it was over. Got to be honest, the ending is still a bit confusing, but is still worth the watch. This is an epic love story about Fuyao, an orphan looking for adventure, but gets caught in a fight between kingdoms and destiny. Along the way, she meets the Crown Prince and they fall in love, but destiny has their fates already decided. They are on the opposite sides of good and evil and need to decide whether one lives and the other dies. It’s got amazing fight scenes and a really attractive male lead (his first lead in a show I believe). Super amazing acting, because let’s be real, any show with Yang Mi is an automatically good show. She’s just too amazing.

Other honourable mentions: Granting you a dreamlike life, Eternal Love, Untouchable Lovers, the Rise of Phoenixes, Detective L– were amazing shows I could rewatch until I die.

Side note: I am super excited for Xiao Zhan’s Jade Dynasty. So hopefully that movie will be available to us soon.

Korean Dramas:

All right guys. I’ve only recently started watching korean shows about half a year ago or so, so I haven’t seen too many, but the ones I have seen I’ve fallen into a deep love with that keeps me going lol.

My Country: The New Age (ongoing)

This show only has 8 episodes so far and I can’t tell you all how amazing this show is. Words can literally not even describe how much it’s consuming every waking second of my life right now. I think the main reason is Seon ho, who started off as someone you respect, but is constantly doing bad shit. He tries to salvage good things from the wrecks he keeps making, but who knows how long that will last. He is ambiguous and slowly turning into a villain. He is slowly turning into the things he wants to destroy and it’s heartbreaking. My heart aches for him and Hwi all the damn time. I just want them to be bff again and stop fighting, but of course this won’t happen. This show has political turmoil and a country at war with a royal family and council who just wants to watch the world burn. Of course, this means manipulating everyone to get what they want, but both Hwi and SH are trying to play their own game, accidentally putting themselves against each other constantly. Watch for heart break, friendship (sometimes), and very attractive male leads aha.

Also, the music is 1000000 thumbs up. All I can say is PLEASE WATCH IT AND FREAK OUT WITH ME.

It’s on netflix, so guys, no excuse lol (DM me to fangirl with me

Black

I don’t want to spoil too much about this show because it’s honestly an experience. It’s about a girl who can see when people are going to die because of the shadows that follow them. She meets a childhood friend, who has a secret, and he asks her to help him solve crimes and protect people from dying, but of course he has his own plans. Get ready for a funny and badass female lead guys.

It’s the first korean drama I watched and will always be one of my faves. It’s an incredible murder-mystery story with more layers than a damn onion. It’ll keep you on your toes and the ending makes me cri evry tiem.

Arthdal Chronicles

At first I thought this show was kind of weird, but an episode in and I was hooked. This show is difficult to explain, but it starts with a war between Arth and the Neanthal. 2 legendary babies get separated and live in opposite parts of the country. This show is hard to describe but it follows the 3 mains, Eunsom, Tanya, and Saya (and Tagon/ Taelha lol) and their fight through tragedy, and sometimes hell on Arth (lol – like hell on earth – am I funny yet). It’s all about a fight for power and revenge among the tribes. Every single character in this show has a different reason, but they all want power to get revenge, basically.

The fantasy aspect of this show and the different ‘species’ are incredible. It does get very political, but the fun of it is all the plotting, and how the characters fix their plans that don’t work out. Half way through I kept screaming at my TV for the mains (Tanya/Saya specifically) to just fkking talk to each other ughhh. Also, Saya will be my favourite unstable boy forever.

It has 18 episodes on netflix so far, but just signed up for 2 more seasons (thank god because if they stopped at 18 eps I’d pull a Rosa Diaz and kill everyone and then myself -.-”). I can’t wait for it to come back. GIVE ME MORE CONTENT.

Other honourable mentions: Hwarang, Rookie Historian Goo Hae-Ryung (not finished it yet, which is why it’s not up in my top 3), Missing 9, W Two worlds, Warrior Baek Dong Soo.

Thanks for reading and requesting!

I am always looking for new shows to watch, so send me recs too. I find my favourite ones are the historical dramas. But let me knoww!

#the untamed #cql #mzds #guardian #guardian cdrama #legend of fuyao #cdrama #kdrama #my country the new age #black korean drama #black #arthdal chronicles #my country a new age #chinese drama #korean drama #rec list

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ella-se-vuelve-loca · 4 years

Text

Chapter 19

Grand Masterlist

Series Masterlist

I’m sorry that this is posted a little late today! Lmao I’ve just been super busy with a lot of shit going on. I’ll keep trying to post up more chapters for y’all! I hope you guys enjoy chapter 19! I was gonna put the music video that Johann did of “Treat You Better” in this chapter, but I don’t want to give him more exposure and tag his shit in my story LMAO oops

Previous Chapter

~1 Week Later~

Joel’s P.O.V.

“Hola cncowners!” I smiled at my phone screen as more and more people started pouring in, watching my live stream. I had my laptop next to me playing some music while I waited a few moments, letting everyone get settled in. “How are you guys?” I asked and reached for my bottled water I had off to the side. I took a sip and started reading the comments of what everyone was saying.

“Uh I’m good. I’m just hanging out here in the hotel with Richard, but he’s currently FaceTiming Aaliyah right now.” I chuckled and switched the camera so it showed him holding his phone up to his face and smiling at his baby girl.

I turned the camera back to me and read the next following questions. “The rest of the boys are in their rooms probably sleeping or something, I don’t know.” I laughed. “I just wanted to check up on you guys and see how you’re doing.” I cleared my throat and continued reading the comments that popped up on my screen.

“Um.. ‘Mexico misses you! Please come back soon’. We miss you too! I love getting to travel and seeing new faces everywhere I go.” I smiled as more questions were being asked and I began answering them as much as I can. I turned my attention back to my laptop when a song ended and I looked for another video to play. “Hey, do you guys have any song recommendations? Any songs you wanna listen to?” I asked as I had looked back at my phone screen.

So many song titles came through and I waited until I kept seeing a repeat. I saw a few that told me to react to music videos and whatnot, but I played their songs and answered their questions while Richard was laughing at what his daughter was doing on the other line. “Okay you guys. I gotta head to bed really soon, so I’ll play one more song for you guys and then I’m off.” I smiled.

My good mood slowly went out the window as I saw Johann’s name pop up on my YouTube page with a new video that had been posted recently. I was going to scroll past it until I saw someone who looks very familiar on the cover. I sat there in shock, not quite sure if what I was seeing is true. “Uh actually.. I see something on here that caught my attention. I can stay for one more song after this one. Let me just..”

It’s peaked my curiosity though and I can’t help but wonder what he put out. I clicked on the video and was met with her beautiful face on my laptop screen. I felt my breath get stuck in the back of my throat for a few seconds as I heard Johann’s voice start singing to my girl..

“Huh…” It’s like all the butterflies in my stomach had just died watching his hands on her waist.. his face buried in her hair.. her smile. This doesn’t just mentally hurt, this physically hurts. “Treat You Better.. this is uh..” I cleared my throat and continued to watch Johann hold her close to him. I bit my lip and slowly brought my head down. I don’t know if I can continue watching this.

The way he looked at her made my blood boil and I wished that it was me instead of him. It’s been a few months, but I didn’t really think she would… I thought maybe we can… why does my heart hurt so much?

“Alrights, mamas, papá has to get going. I love you!” I looked up at Richard blow a kiss and say goodnight before turning his attention back to me, smiling. He placed his phone inside his front pocket and sat on the bed next to me. “What are you doing?” He asked as he looked at the video playing on my laptop. “I’m just.. I’m.. watching a music video and doing a live..”

He went silent for a few moments as he looked at who was on my screen. “Hey.. isn’t that – ”

“Yeah.” I cut him off and looked away from my laptop as Johann leaned down close to her face, indicating that there must’ve been a kiss at the end. I cleared my throat and exited out that video. “Okay uh.. one last song before I head to bed. How about we let Richard pick out what we listen to next, yeah?” I pushed my laptop closer to him as I looked down at the comments.

“Hola.” Rich spoke and waved at the camera as the cncowners greeted him. He typed in one of our songs and let it play for everyone to hear. I could feel him staring at me from the corner of my eye as I tried to not think about what I just saw. Richard pretty much took over as he started reading an answering questions they were asking as I got up and walked to the other side of the room.

“I’ll be right back. I’m gonna head to the bathroom real quick.” I spoke as I turned my back towards him and walked into the restroom, closing the door behind me. I’m just reminded of the fact that I can’t talk to her and now she’s in his arms. Then again, this could just be acting and nothing more, but it still doesn’t stop the hurt I feel in my chest. He’s rubbing this in my face, I know he is. Why else would he have picked her and sing that song?

I have to find a way to get the ball back in my court without damaging more relationships and my career that I’ve worked so hard to get where I am. Should I even attempt to fight for her back? I know you shouldn’t give up on people you love, but I don’t know if she loves me anymore. Is it worth the fight?

I walked out of the bathroom as I realized the song was just about finished. “Okay you guys.. it was nice getting to talk to you all, pero necesitamos dormir.” Richard spoke as he saw me walk back out of the bathroom and walk towards him. I put on a smile and waved goodbye. “Buenas noches.” I turned off the live and grabbed my phone, tossing it onto the bed carelessly without another thought.

“Bro – ”

“No.. you know what? This is what I get. I don’t deserve to feel the way I do because I did this. I just wish..” I bit my lip and shook my head, ripping open the blankets as I lied down. “I think I’m just gonna sleep on it…” I heard him sigh and walk around, but was shocked when he sat on the edge of my bed. “She’s moving on..” I softly spoke and brought the blanket close to my face. “With him..” He stayed silent for a few moments before speaking up.

“You still love her?” He asked. “What kind of question is that? Of course I do.” I spoke and gripped onto my blanket. “Do you want that second chance?” His eyebrows scrunched together as my body turned towards him. “Yeah..” I said, looking up at him. “Dude, what are you – ”

“Just answer the damn questions.”

“Why? What difference does it make?”

“’Cause I’m willing to help you pendejo, but only if it means that much to you. Now answer the fucking questions. Do you or do you not want that second chance?”

“Well of course I do!”

“You want to try again?”

“Yeah, but she won’t – ”

“Are you gonna give up on her?”

“No! No, I don’t want to. But Johann said – ” I sat up he kept going. “You want to be able to continue where you left off and grow together as a couple?” The tone of his voice grew a little louder as I became irritated and answered him back.

“Yes! Yes, okay!” I exclaimed and slowly brought my head down, angry at myself. “… But I can’t. I want.. I want to be able to do all of that and more without anything else getting in the way. I want to start over.” He slowly nodded and held up his hands as in question.

“Okay… so the question is, what are you gonna do about it and what do you need me to do to help you?”

‘Why did the color drain from Joel’s face when he saw Johann’s new music video on his live a few days ago??’

‘Joel looked so sad at the end of his live recently :( are you okay bb? We love you! x’

‘Is anyone else gonna ignore the fact that Joel unfollowed Johann or…?’

‘Does that girl in Johann’s video mean anything to him or something? Was it the song he didn’t like? He looked so upset but didn’t say much about it’

‘I thought the video was good, I don’t know why he got quiet the way he did’

I shouldn’t have watched that during my live a few days ago ‘cause now the fans are asking why my mood changed right after. I haven’t addressed any of them and just continued like nothing happened.

“Alright, this song is fire because it’s telling your girl, or telling that one person ‘I don’t wanna keep fighting’, you know? ‘I don’t wanna keep bugging about things that happened before, let’s just start from zero. Get to know each other again.’” Richard spoke as the rest of us all sat around holding microphones in our hands, getting ready to perform.

“Well, we’re coming out with our new EP that we wrote like maybe 85% of it and we’re really really excited for the people to listen to it. Just going around and spreading our music and hopefully go around the country.” Chris smiled as he looked directly into the camera and cleared his throat. Now it’s time to introduce ourselves..

“Hola, soy Erick.”

“I’m Christopher.”

“I’m Joel.”

“I’m Richard.”

“Yo soy Zabdiel y nosotros somos – ”

“CNCO.”

“Y bueno este es nuestro más reciente sencillo, De Cero.” Zabdiel spoke as he started to strum his guitar. Music is a powerful weapon and can be used in any way you want. A love song to somebody? You got it. Breaking up and moving on? You’ll find one. Going out with friends and partying the night away? Pretty easy to find. Wanting to start over with someone you love? That’s promising..

undefined

youtube

“Niña, tanto tiempo

¿Qué estás haciendo?

¿Qué es de tu vida?

Dicen que estás sufriendo

Creo que tengo

Una salida”

I’m talking to her through the lyrics without mentioning her name. This is my apology and it’s the only way I can talk about it in public without Johann spilling the beans. I frowned as I brought the mic up to my lips, continuing the next verse.

“Cuando dejemos el orgullo

Y las barreras entre tú y yo

Soltamos lo malo

Nos inventamos un atardecer

Sin mente yo me entregaré

El pasado olvidamos”

I pictured her face and thought about her listening to us perform this song. I wonder if she would even listen to this and know that I’m sorry? I’m singing this for you, (Y/N)..

“Y de cero empezamos

Otro chance nos damos los dos

Mejor dejemos la estupidez (Oh)

Que el amor llega solo una vez

De cero empezamos

Otro chance nos damos tú y yo

Mejor dejemos la estupidez

Que el amor llega solo una vez”

I never thought I would relate so much to a song as I do now. I don’t want to give up on the possibility that we can make us work, but considering the way things are right now, I don’t think she’ll even give me the time of day.

Erick started to sing his next part as I thought about what I’ll do if she were to take me back. I’ll definitely work harder to make sure she feels loved and not a second choice ever again, that’s for damn sure. Have I even considered the possibility that she would just tell me to leave and never see her again? Yes.. yes, I’ve thought about that.

I heard Christopher’s voce start singing and knew my part was almost here. If I can’t have her, I at least want someone who will treat her like I should’ve done. Someone who will give her all the love she deserves and never make her second guess herself. Someone who will make time for her, make her happy and never break her heart. If it’s not me, it’s definitely not Johann. I need to know that she’ll be in good hands if I don’t get a second chance.

“Can we accept all of our differences

And put aside all of the pettiness

Just forget, no regret

I'll take you anywhere you wanna go

I got so much I want to show

Let's restart and we'll go far”

I guess I got so caught up with the cncowners shipping me with Emilia so much that I started to believe that there was something between us. I became nervous whenever I was around her and felt butterflies in my stomach, but nothing compared to the feeling I had whenever I was with (Y/N).

I never knew I could feel like this. Listen to my heart, (Y/N). Can you hear it sing? Please come back to me and forgive everything..

I can’t get that image out of my head. Johann’s hands resting on her waist… his lips just inches away from hers. She’s been seeing him more and more since I left and is getting comfortable around him. My mind became all discombobulated after that video and my heart literally ached at the thought of her falling for someone new.. someone like Johann.

Before I knew it, the song was over and we were free to get up and walk around. “Thank you for doing this for us. You guys were amazing!”

“Thank you for having us.” Richard smiled and shook hands with the video producer. I stood up and stretched, craning my neck back and forth. “We’ll have this video up soon and notify you guys when it’s posted.”

I zoned out the conversations around me as I thought about Richard’s words he said to me that night.

“What are you going to do about it?”

That’s a good question. A very good question indeed..

Next Chapter

Wanna be tagged for future fics?

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#cnco #cnco imagines #cnco imagine #cnco fic #joel pimentel #joel pimentel imagine #Joel Pimentel series #cnco angst #Joel Pimentel angst #mistakes were made #Joel Pimentel fic #joel fic #I HOPE THIS ISNT SHIT LMAOOOO

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winnipegpatty · 5 years

Text

We’re Fatally Flawed | two | s.m. series

a/n: feedback is very much appreciated, okay?

warnings: mentions of child abuse, absolutely nothing graphic.

“The safety that you're selling me

One day be the death of me”

Turns out playing for We the Kings really is life changing. In the following weeks of their three shows, Terminal had been asked to open for 4 more shows of other various artists. They were in talks with two other bands looking for an opener too. Thanks to the help of Aaliyah, their instagram presence was better than ever, and for the first time, it felt like they actually had fans. There were people dedicated to listening to and loving their music. Downloads of their EP had increased some, and their Spotify listens were the same. We the Kings had publicly thanked them for opening in Toronto on their social media accounts a couple days ago, which started a whole new round of fever. It was chaos. A beautiful chaos.

Shawn couldn’t say they’d “made” it, sure. But they were well on their way. If the band could keep this momentum, they’d be able to make something of themselves. Shawn had been writing constantly when they weren’t practicing, gearing up to produce another EP to hopefully gain more traction. Afterall, only have 6 songs to your band’s name wasn’t much of a selling point if they wanted to make it on a real tour circuit.

Mandy was thrilled. Seeing Shawn’s smile every day when she came home from school was invigorating. She’d never seen Shawn like this before. His curls were fluffier than normal from over wear of his Harvard sweatshirt that he’d worn into the ground. He’d forget to take his earrings out before he went to bed because he was so exhausted, it didn’t even matter than he hated sleeping in them.

As much as Mandy wanted to say she was fully invested in Shawn’s continued success, that wasn’t entirely the case. Shawn’s happiness meant the world to her, but she also had a lot going on with herself. Kindergarten was a handful. Twenty one five year olds was a lot to take care of. It was only the second week of school, and so she was still learning the little quirks of each kid. She was deciding where the kids would be best sat in the classroom. She had to figure out who needed extra help or motivation and who could work well alone. She’d learned that Lilly really hated going out to recess. She’d rather sit inside and look at books. But she also learned that Milo would start crying for his mom everyday around lunch time. Luke was so sweet and would want to hug anyone who entered the classroom, while Lucas was a complete handful and dealt with a lot of sensory overload.

What she was trying to say, was that there was a lot to her job. There were so many details involved that no one really realized went into being a teacher until they were actually a teacher. Like how every month she had to have a new door design. Or how her one hour a day of “lesson planning” was never enough to actually plan lessons, so she’d spend evenings and weekends planning until the sun came up. She was constantly tired and didn’t see Shawn very often. But she was so happy. This had been her dream since she was a young girl. She’d always wanted to help little minds become great. To teach them what it meant to learn and to be kind to others.

Mandy was happy. Shawn was happy.

Everything was great.

“Hey, Em,” Shawn hollered as he walked in the door on a Thursday evening. “What are we doing this weekend?”

Mandy laughed, “Well, I’m not doing anything particular.” She walked down the hallway to see him pull off his leather jacket and throw it over a chair.

“Good,” Shawn answered. He reached towards her to pull her into a kiss. “That’s exactly what I was hoping you’d say.”

Mandy smiled up at her boyfriend, “What are we doing this weekend then, Shawn?”

“I was thinking I’d like to take you out on a date.”

“I’d like that.”

___

“I want to go to the beach,” Mandy whispered to Shawn in bed later than evening.

“What? Mandy, it’s freezing.”

“Yeah, but I just want to see the water. Please, Shawn? We haven’t seen the beach in so long.”

Shawn rolled his eyes at her. “Yeah, because it’s fucking freezing,” he reiterated.

“Please,” She pouted, and god, Shawn hated it when she did that. She jutted out her bottom lip and her eyes held this manufactured sadness that he knew wasn’t real, but could fool even her closest of friends.

He sighed, ��Fine, but the second you start complaining because your fingers are going numb again; we’re leaving.”

Mandy smiled brightly before squealing. “Yes, thank you babe!” She kissed Shawn’s sweet lips excitedly. Popping her lips on and off his, before moving down to sweetly kiss his neck.

Shawn’s breathe caught a bit in his throat, feeling her lips press sensually against his neck. It was already well past midnight, and he knew that if they started something now, Mandy would be angry in the morning when she was exhausted and headed to school.

“Babe,” Shawn whispered. “Mandy.”

“Hmmm,” she hummed against his jugular, moving down towards his collar bone.

Shawn groaned at the back of his throat, “You gotta stop. You need to go to sleep.”

“I don’t need sleep, Shawny. Just need you.” She smiled against his skin.

Her words sent a rush to his heart, and he felt like he was melting. He really fucking loved this girl. With his whole goddamn heart, huh? “That’s really sweet, babe,” Shawn struggled, trying to pull away, but Mandy only pulled him closer. “You’re gonna have other things to say when you have to wake up in five hours and got no sleep.”

She shook her head, “Mmmm, nope. Don’t think so.” She popped off his collarbone and moved back to his lips. “I just wanna be with you tonight. Nothing else matters.”

And with that, Shawn officially gave in, tomorrow morning be damned.

Shawn had been right, of course. It was fucking freezing. But so far, thirty minutes in, Mandy had stayed true and hadn’t complained once. Much to Shawn’s dismay because frankly, he wanted to leave. It was too cold for this shit, and his leather jacket was doing nothing to keep him warm. Water was pretty and all, but he didn’t find it awe inspiring like Mandy did. He’d much rather look at Mandy and find his inspiration, inside in the warmth of their home.

“There’s this little boy at school…”

They’d been sitting on a couple of beach towels in silence, Mandy mostly just staring off into the sea, and Shawn figured she needed some time. She did this sometimes, when she had a lot going on. She’d just stare off, and Shawn would wait until she was ready to talk about whatever it was that had her thinking so hard.

“And, he’s unique,” She glanced over at Shawn. “I don’t know, Shawn...I think there might be something going on at home.”

Shawn hummed quietly, “Something?”

“I mean like, I think he might be getting abused?”

“What makes you think that?” Shawn questioned, his lips pulling down in a frown.

“I mean, I’ve never seen marks or bruises or anything. Not on what I can see, but it’s just the way he acts? Like he’s scared of adults. Not just his parents, but anyone that’s bigger than him. And when his mom dropped him off the other day, her eyes...Shawn,” her breath caught in her throat. “Shawn she looked dead inside. And the little boy, Jack, his name is Jack. He’s usually sweet and kind and just really good to have in class, but when she was around. He looked like all he wanted to do was crawl in on himself.”

“Have you talked to him?”

“Well, not about that…” Mandy sighed, “That’s just such a big accusation. And...it’s not like I have any proof. Maybe he’s just timid? Maybe his mom just didn’t get sleep that night before? Maybe I’m seeing things? I can’t accuse someone of something so horrible and not have any idea if I’m being right or just overreacting.”

Shawn splayed his hand gently over Mandy’s leg. “Maybe,” Shawn contemplated. “Maybe you could just get to know Jack. You know, make sure he’s learning well. Have some time with him where you’re just focused on his work. And, if he begins to trust you, he might let you in to see other parts of him. Make sure he’s okay, at school and at home, eh?”

“Yeah, yeah like maybe I could do a weekly tutor session with him or something after school. Work on his letters...he’s already a little bit behind the other kids.” Mandy bit at her nail bed, worrying herself.

“Just go slow,” Shawn smiled, pressing lightly again on her thigh. “Don’t scare him off.”

Mandy nodded, “Yeah, that’s good.” She looked up at Shawn before gently leaning over to kiss him, “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome, Em.” Shawn smiled, squeezing her leg a final time before lightly rapping a little beat on it, “Now can we leave. It’s freezing, and I’m starving.”

Mandy laughed before nodding at him and whispering an okay. Mandy decided, at least for the night, that she’d leave her concerns about Jack here. Let them wash away into the sea. Let the wind carry away her words. At least for now, so that she could enjoy the rest of the evening with Shawn. It was rare that they got such uninterrupted alone time as of late. What with Terminal really hitting the ground running now a days.

At dinner, conversation had flowed nicely. That was never a problem with Shawn and Mandy. They may have only known each other for four years now, but they shared secrets with each other like they were lifelong best friends. Like they’d played together in the schoolyard as children. But Shawn loved that about his relationship with Mandy. It’s how he knew that she was all he’d ever need. How he knew they were perfect for each other. Mandy truly was Shawn’s other half, as much as he hated the saying. It was completely, not cool. The band members constantly berated Shawn about being whipped for Mandy, but Shawn figured it was okay for at least one area of his life to not be punk approved. Besides, it’s not like Mandy couldn’t get into the punk scene when she wanted to. She fit into concerts just as well as any other groupie. She had the dress and the disposition to match the part, but yet at home and at school she was the perfect working girl. Shawn loved that about her. She had class and attitude.

“I don’t know...but Julia is just a total snob. Two weeks in, and she already hates me for no reason it’s ridicul-”

“Excuse me,” Shawn felt a tap on his shoulder, looking up to see the girl who’d interrupted Mandy’s sentence.

“Hello,” Shawn said in a sugary sweet voice.

He didn’t really appear to be confused by the interruption which came as a stark contrast to Mandy’s bewilderment.

“Hi, you’re Shawn Mendes, right?”

A smile bigger than any other Mandy had ever seen spread across Shawn’s face, his eyes squinting as he looked up at the blonde.

Shawn nodded, “Sure am.”

“Oh wow,” the girl blushed. “Wow, wow. I am such a huge fan of Terminal.”

Really? Mandy wouldn’t have pegged this girl, clad in a plaid schoolgirl shirt and a button up, as a punk band kind of gal. Her bleach blonde hair showed no signs of dye, which was not punk. And her nails were painted pink. Pink.

“Thank you, hunny. I’m so glad to hear it.” Shawn smiled pressing his hand against the girls arm.

“My name is Sev.” She introduced herself. And okay, Mandy didn’t know they were going to get all the way to introductions.

Shawn leaned back in his chair, gazing up at this girl like she owned the entire fucking world. And Mandy felt like her blood might begin to boil. It’s not like she didn’t know they had fans, but she certainly didn’t know that he had fans who’d rudely interrupt her only alone time she’d had with her boyfriend for three weeks. She wondered if he’d been recognized before. Did this happen often? Why had Shawn never mentioned that?

“Shawn, it’s nice to meet you Sev.” Shawn reached his hand out to shake the girls hand, and Mandy was just happy he hadn’t gone in for a hug or something. Anything that would make the girl linger any longer.

“Do you mind if I got a picture?” Sev asked excitedly, “I don’t want to interrupt or anything…” As if she hadn’t already completely cut off Mandy’s sentence and inserted herself into a private gathering.

“Of course, sweetie.”

It was odd hearing Shawn call other girls hunny and sweetie like that was a normal thing he’d do. Mandy had heard of a customer service voice, and hell she knew for a fact that she had a teacher voice at school, but she wasn’t aware that Shawn had a fan meeting voice. Or that the voice sounded entirely too close to the sound of his sweet I love you’s that we’re supposed to be for her ears only.

“Oh, great. Wow. Thank you so much,” Sev smiled.

Shawn stood up quickly as Sev pulled out an iPhone, readying herself to take a selfie before Shawn stopped her, “Oh, no. You don’t need to take a selfie. Here,” Shawn turned toward Mandy. “Babe, could you take it?”

Shawn smiled at Mandy, who most definitely did not want to take the photo. But she smiled and nodded curtly anyway, grasping the photo and taking two pictures as quickly as possible. She handed the phone back to Sev before returning to her seat and waiting for the interaction to end.

Finally, Sev and Shawn hugged before she finally departed, leaving them alone in an uncomfortable silence.

“Well, that was cool.” Shawn smiled, hunching over in his chair. He let out a breath, almost like a sigh of satisfaction.

“Yup,” Mandy answered with none of the enthusiasm to match Shawn.

The popped ‘p’ at the end was enough for Shawn to pick up on Mandy’s annoyance. And when he finally looked up at his girlfriend, he wondered how he didn’t see it earlier. She hadn’t been this way the whole dinner right? Her crossed arms over her chest, her downturned lips, and the annoying flickers of her eyes away from his while he tried to make eye contact, all clued him in.

“What’s wrong?” Shawn asked, all hints of his previous happiness gone.

“Nothing,” Mandy muttered, pushing around some of the leftover food on the plate.

“No, no. What happened. This was all going fine, what changed?” Shawn pried.

“I just didn’t realize you had fans recognizing you,” She huffed, taking a sip of her wine.

Shawn ran a hand through his curls, “Well, not constantly, but sometimes.” He wasn’t entirely sure how that would lead to Mandy’s sour attitude, but he decided he’d let her work through it if that’s what she needed.

“And do you flirt with them all like that?” She said quietly, refusing to meet Shawn’s eyes.

Shawn coughed, “Excuse me? I wasn’t flirting with her.”

Mandy laughed, “Really? Shawn, I’m cyour girlfriend. I know exactly what it looks like when you attempt flirting.”

Shawn rolled his eyes, “I was being polite, Mandy. The fans are the people that let me do what I’ve always dreamed of doing. Without people like her Terminal would be nowhere and would be in the garage for the rest of it’s life. So sure, if she wants a moment of my time and a photo, I’ll give it to her. Because she allows me to follow my dreams.”

“Doesn’t mean I wanted to give her a moment of my time,” Mandy muttered under her breath.

“What? Mandy, so what she came over during dinner. She came, she left, and now we resume. It’s not like its some big disruption.”

“Well it felt like one to me, is all,” Mandy answered.

“Well I’m sorry it felt that way but—”

“I’m ready to go home.” Mandy interrupted him, not allowing him to finish his thought.

Shawn balked at her for a moment, unsure of what to make of this new festering side of Mandy that he’d never seen before. “Fine,” is all Shawn uttered before asking for the check.

They left in silence and drove home in silence. He couldn’t remember the last time they’d ever sat in uncomfortable silence. And Shawn was just left wondering when he’d fallen in love with a girl who might not even support his biggest dream.

tagged: @fourtristattoos @peacedolantwins2 @rosecth @unhealthyobsessionwithmarvel @shavvnmendcs @justanotherfangurl272 (let me know if you want to be added)

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12setsofchopsticks · 5 years

Text

White Day 2019

Alrightty folks, it’s that time of the year again for my favorite holiday, WHITE DAY. Yes, again this year I have worked hard. I have spent the past several months meticulously crafting relationships, exceeding expectations, and perfecting my winged eyeliner and TODAY is the day that it all pays off. I made heart-shaped cookies for Valentine’s day again this year and coupled them with a personalized, hand-o-made-o heart-shaped cards of about the same size. As is the tradition, I will log the events of the day in real time as they happen. I am absolutely buzzing because I have high expectations and a good feeling about them.

Speaking of expectations, here is the forecast for White Day 2019:

Low chance of gifts from the English teachers as Vancouver sensei tends to forget and EPS tends to not care, BUT I WOULDN’T MIND BEING PLEASANTLY SURPRISED.

Will this be the third year in a row that I don’t receive a gift from my friend Dekashita sensei? PROBABLY.

Big hype for the third year teachers since we’re all buddies.

As a general rule, I think it is safe to expect gifts from all the teachers who have their Valentine on display.

Feeling confident that I will get gifts from a few teachers, like sumo sensei and softball sensei, since they have been consistent the past two years. Let’s see if this trend keeps up.

Shimichan is a bit of a wildcard this year, and I feel like he could go either way. What will happen? No one knows!

I was thinking to myself yesterday, “Lolen, what if your expectations are too high? What if, god forbid, you don’t receive ANY gifts?” The thought gave me a chuckle. There is no way. I am Lolen, the Beloved. I am a goddamn gaijin goddess and gifts WILL BE bestowed upon me on this day.

Wednesday, March 13th, 2019 – THE DAY BEFORE WHITE DAY

1:45 pm –I was caught off-guard while eating my lunch when a teacher has come over to give me my first white day gift! How delightful, I think, as I try to thank the teacher with a mouthful of salad. This is not my cutest moment.

Thursday, March 14th, 2019 – WHITE DAY 2019

8:25 am – I have arrived at school at precisely the time I am expected to.

What they see: a beautiful blonde waltzing in to the teacher’s room. My hair looks good, eyeliner is looking sharp and, oh, could it be? Yes…! Her outfit even matches her nails!

What they don’t know: ya girl stayed up too late watching Netflix the night before so she’s running off 5 hours of sleep and literally ran to catch the bus this morning. She is beauty, she is grace, she is out of breath.

8:27 am – I reach my desk and sit down. There are four additional gifts that weren’t here before. This brings the total so far to five, before the bell has even rung! I have confidence that this will be a bountiful harvest.

8:35 am – There is a shuffle as teachers begin to get up and go to their first period homeroom class. Within the chaos, I feel a tap on my back. I turn around and, heavens to Betsy, can it be?? I can hardly believe my eyes that it is actually Dekashita sensei giving me a bag of chocolate! The two year curse has been lifted and my soul can finally be at peace.

8:45 am – Sumo sensei has just come over and dropped a literal handful of chocolate on to my desk. I will award an A for intent, but I have to give a C for execution because come on, my dude, at least put them in a lil baggy or something. Regardless, choco is choco and I will accept your offering graciously.

9:01 am – I have just received two more gifts within a few moments from each other; one from the teacher who sits behind me and the other from softball sensei. So far my predictions have been accurate…will EPS and Vancouver sensei defy my expectations and come through with gifts?? It’s the question on everyone’s mind!

9:07 am – In an interesting turn of events, one of the female P.E. teachers has just given me a gift! This sets a precedent for the women here at school, I am now expecting chocolate tokens of friendship from everyone.

9:50 am – My lovely supervisor came over to give me a little baggie of white day treats! A+ execution from an A+ supervisor, 10/10.

10:32 am – The morning is swiftly passing by. Currently, I have eleven gifts but I haven’t received any more in some time now and I am wondering if this may be it for me this year. There are a few teachers that I have been lowkey watching all morning to see if they will make their move. Like a cat in the shadows, I wait.

10:39 am – JUST as I was about to abandon hope, I am approached by the cute married teacher (he’s cute, he’s married, alas) and handed a nicely boxed gift. Extra bonus points since he spoke to me in English. I didn’t even know he spoke English, today is full of surprises.

10:50 am – I am rereading my post from last year. Boy, what a wild time 2018 was! But, I am noticing that amount of gifts I am receiving and the time at which I am receiving them is REMARKABLY SIMILAR. At 10:35 am last year, I also had 12 gifts. Everything is going according to plan.

10:55 am – Bobsled sensei has just given me a gift! As an interesting note, he has opted to give cookies as opposed to a more traditional chocolate confection. On second thought, this really isn’t all that interesting.

11:04 am – One of the female English teachers just came over to give me a very cute heart-shaped cake sort of thing. I have decided that this will be the first item I eat when the time comes.

11:25 am – I have fourteen gifts now. I am wondering if, out of all the teachers, I have the most gifts. I know it *shouldn’t* be a competition but I am absolutely *treating* it like one in the deepest narcissistic pit of my heart. I think I will walk around the teacher’s room later and take some cheeky peeks at the other teachers’ desks.

11:40 am – Another female P.E. teacher just gave me a nice gift, complete with an English note of appreciation! I seem to have made some new friends in the P.E. department with my cookies this year. Exciting times!

11:45 am – Oh, these are exciting times, indeed! Just now, I have received a gift from Kocho sensei, also known as the principal. Based on his status as principal-sama, I expect that these chocolates must be of the highest kocho quality. This brings my total now to 16. At this point, I am projected to top my number from last year.

11:55 am – I have not seen EPS all day, despite him being here today. Should I call the police? Send out a search party? I’m worried that he is lost or dead. Actually, he is dead. Dead to me until he gives me white day chocolates.

12:30 pm – Another gift from another P.E. teacher! It’s quite a large box as well. I seem to be popular with the P.E. department this year, with about 60% of the teachers reciprocating chocos. My hard work is paying off and my ROI is looking great.

12:35 pm – It’s time for lunch but I’m afraid to leave my desk in case someone steals one of my precious chocos. I feel a strange attachment to them, like a dragon jealously guarding her hoard. But alas—I must go, for I am hungry. Is it strange to go out and buy lunch when I probably have over $100 worth of gourmet chocolate on my desk? I make a mental note of exactly how many chocolates there are; I will not tolerate thieves!

1:45 pm – I’m back from lunch. All seems in order. I also used this opportunity to check out some other desks. I am the clear winner in this battle royale.

2:30 pm – It’s been quiet for a while now. BUT ACTUALLY, as I was typing this, another teacher came over to deliver a gift! CONFIRMED: I am a psychic.

3:30 pm – I was just beginning to think that the gift-getting might be finished, but to my surprise I have received another! It’s getting exhausting trying to keep track of all these gifts. Interesting note: despite all NINETEEN of the gifts that I have received today, I have yet to receive one from any of the male English teachers. Just so we are clear, there are FOUR of them. This must be what the sharp knife of betrayal feels like.

4:10 pm – I couldn’t wait any longer and I ate the heart-shaped cake sort of thing. It was a delicious choice. I also made the executive decision to put all of my snacks in my desk since 1.) I was running out of space on my desk and 2.) At this point it just looks like I’m bragging (I am). Furthermore, as I mentioned above, I have a zero tolerance theft policy and these are my loss-prevention measures.

4:12 pm – I ran out of space in my designated “snack drawer” so I had to take advantage of the space in my lesser-used “lesson plans” drawer.

4:15 pm – O shit waddup, ya girl is officially at TWENTY GIFTS!! My boi Shimichan pulled through in the homestretch. If I can get my-age amount gifts does that mean that this will be my golden year?

4:17 pm – Time is precious and there are only about 45 minutes left in the day. The guy in the office must have felt the minutes squeezing by, because he just came up and gave me gift number 21. There is still time for you, EPS!!

5:01 pm – Well, it’s time to call it a day and head home. Overall, I have to say I am very pleased with the way this year turned out. Many of my predictions turned out to be true (LOOKING AT YOU, EPS), with the notable exception of Dekashita sensei who actually pulled through this year. Now all that’s left to do is to enjoy my snacks...all TWENTY ONE OF THEM!

5:30 pm – Just got home. Can’t wait to see what my real white date has in store for me tonight <3

#white day #all my senseis #dekashita sensei out of the doghouse #evil pocket sensei i hate you #snacks for days #literal days #shota is the ichiban

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quarantineroulette · 5 years

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Minor Disappointments’ Least Disappointing Releases of 2018

Preamble: I had a bit of a low (not Low, although that would’ve been preferable) period in 2018 that went on for several months. I didn’t really listen to music during that time, and so I missed out on a lot of things. I’m kind of too scatterbrained from holiday hysteria to really take in anything new. So these lists probably don’t designate “the best”, but they’re decent documents of what I wasn’t too distracted or down to take serious notice of.

Secondly, my own band released an album this year, and that occupied a large amount of time normally reserved for listening to other bands. I won’t rank it because I don’t want to be that conceited...but if you want to check it out for yourself, the highlights for me are “For the Rest to Rest”; “Open Up the Ways”; “Screen Test”; and “Suspend Disbelief”. One of my favorite reviews of it described our sound as being a “unique blend of post-punk, brit-pop, indie, and a little post-rock too.” and said we’re “one of the smartest bands to come out of Brooklyn in a very long time.” This is both why people should listen to it and also why they might not.

Thirdly, one of the things I listened to the most this year was Protomartyr’s Consolation EP, but I’m refraining from listing it as it’s not a full-length. That said, I think it’s as good as nearly anything I’ve heard this year, Protomartyr are the best and both of their live sets I caught were my favorite gigs of 2018. TLDR: Protomartyr = good. Most other things on this list = equally good but not Protomartyr. Let’s get started shall we?

10 Songs That Were Good:

10) Neko Case & Mark Lanegan - Cures of the I-5 Corridor. How has a Neko Case / Mark Lanegan duet not existed until 2018?? No matter the year, something this gorgeous and heartbreaking is always worthy of making the cut.

9) Lana Del Rey - Mariners Apartment Complex . I remember Spencer Krug tweeting something kind of snarky about “Venice Bitch” a few months back, then deleting it, and damn well he should’ve because both that and “Mariners Apartment Complex” are blinders. “Venice” may be the most low-key epic ever, but the way “Mariners” takes hints of Leonard Cohen and Lee Hazlewood / Nancy Sinatra and places them in a pop context is perhaps even more admirable. It’s truly inspiring to hear mainstream music this nuanced.

8) Parquet Courts - Tenderness . I love the jaunty piano, and how Andrew Savage’s vocal take is simultaneously forceful and lax. But most of all I love how all its elements converge to create a sense of hard-won optimism.

7) Iceage - Thieves Like Us . Iceage do a swamp cabaret song and I just can’t love it enough.

6) MGMT - Me and Michael . Yes, it’s ridiculously ‘80s, but you would have to be a very dour person to not smile whenever that opening synth riff kicks in.

5) Shame - One Rizla . Riff of the year. Hands down.

4) Bodega - Jack in Titanic . One of the great things about 2018 was witnessing Bodega’s success. To me, they’ve always been one of the few up-and-coming indie bands with the charisma to be actual stars, and it’s been a joy seeing the rest of the world take note of this. From the moment I heard “Jack in Titanic”, I just knew it was destined to show up on a BBC Radio 6 A-or-B list at some point in the near future (and it did!). And yeah, they’re my good friends, but even if they were strangers I’d appreciate the smartness, melodic hooks, and sexiness all the same:

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3) Preoccupations - Disarray . Click on that link because the song is really good, but be warned -- the vocal melody is never, ever going to leave you.

2) Protomartyr - Wheel of Fortune . This song has everything: a nerve-wracking stop and start guitar part, an at-once badass and terrifying refrain, Kelly Deal, and the exact sense of urgency that’s needed right now. Powerful, timely, and a rare example of a song that puts its guest star to highly effective use.

1) Janelle Monae - Make Me Feel . This song combines about five different Prince songs but Janelle Monae’s personality is so strong that the end result is something wholly her own. And if the song weren’t a blast on its own, the technicolor video is almost lethally fun:

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10 Albums That I Loved A Lot:

10) Arctic Monkeys - Tranquility Base Hotel and Casino . I really loved this album but I’m ranking it as 10 just because it’s the Arctic Monkeys and I can’t believe I enjoyed anything they’ve produced *this* much -- especially a lounge album about a casino on the moon. I find Alex Turner overrated as a lyricist and cosplaying a Bad Seed isn’t endearing to me, but he obviously loves Scott Walker a lot so I guess he gets some sort of pass.

9) Moonface - This One’s of the Dancer and This One’s for the Dancer’s Bouquet . The only reason this isn’t ranked higher is because I haven’t been able to give it the attention it deserves. This is a concept album where some songs are sung from the pov of the Minotaur and others from Spencer Krug, and both these creatures are enigmatic are too enigmatic to be given mere surface reads. This all said, I’ve listened enough to glean that, as always, Spencer’s lyrics are awe-inspiring, the marimba is implemented well, the alternate version of “Heartbreaking Bravery” is excellent, and comparing and contrasting its themes with those found on Wolf Parade’s 2017 release Cry Cry Cry is a fun past time if you’re me or seven other people. Looking forward to delving deeper in 2019.

8) Janelle Monae - Dirty Computer . To be honest, I *was* a little disappointed in this. It’s not as cinematic or stylistically adventurous as Monae’s previous full-lengths, but I think Monae herself is extremely talented and I wish she was a much bigger star. Furthermore, when considered against the drek of the general pop landscape, this is still a bold, unpredictable, and intelligent pop record from a true enigma.

7) Luke Haines - I Sometimes Dream of Glue . Like “Kubla Khan” if it had been written after huffing a river full of glue, but instead of Xanadu it’s an English village full of miniature people having a orgy:

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6) Parquet Courts - Wide Awake! . No other song better captures the frustrations and anxieties of living in NY in 2018 than “Almost Had to Start a Fight / In and Out of Patience”, and for that alone this album would make the year-end cut. But it also happens to be brilliant start to finish, with the two closing statements, in the form of “Death Will Bring Change” and “Tenderness” respectively, being among PC’s best.

5) Low - Double Negative . Mimi Parker’s voice emerging from a sonic cocoon on “Fly” is one of the most gripping moments of Low’s fantastic career. This album challenged me the most in 2018, but it’s also one I frequently returned to, determined to crack its code.

4) Preoccupations - New Material . I suppose some would dismiss this as too trad. post-punk, but holy hell - these trad. post-punk songs have got some hooks! And there isn’t quite another singer like Matt Flegel, who somehow manages to channel Bowie and Mark Lanegan at the same time. I’ve listened to this so much that New Material already feels like a well-loved classic.

3) Gazelle Twin - Pastoral . I would argue that Pastoral is the closest anyone’s come to making something comparable to PJ Harvey’s Let England Shake. An electro-pagan examination of Britain’s heritage and history (and the whole Brexit thing) that manages to feel thorough despite only being 37 minutes long, Pastoral moves beyond being just “a record” and becomes something closer to contemporary art. Elizabeth Bernholz’s vocals, whether warped or unconstrained by processing, are remarkable throughout. A mash-up of folk traditions and modern beats that somehow works shockingly well:

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2) Idles - Joy as an Act of Resistance . Boyfriend / bandmate James and I have discussed this album more than any other this year, and it’s been a pleasure hearing his love for it and forming my own appreciation of it in the process. What sealed it for me was James’ description of “Idles” as pagan, and how the band’s use of repetition and simple melodies (as well as their bacchanalian stage presence) created an air of ritualism. In their primalness, they even remind me of The Birthday Party - a “woke” Birthday Party, but a Birthday Party all the same. My favorite musical moment of the year may very well be Joe Talbot’s first shout of “UNITY!” in “Danny Nedelko”, primordial, raw, unpretentious, and completely punk. We *need* these guys right now:

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1) Suede - The Blue Hour . There is a joke in the TV show 30 Rock in which Jack Donaghy -- Alec Baldwin’s network head character -- says he attended Harvard Business School, where he was voted “Most”. The Blue Hour could be considered “Most” -- it’s meant to be taken as one piece, it’s insanely grandiose and, like its predecessor Night Thoughts, listening to it makes everything in my life seem 18 times more dramatic and tragic. I don’t know how, but this bizarre mashup of Kate Bush, Jacques Brel, Pink Floyd, Scott Walk, Gregorian chanting, classic Suede, spell books and (of course) David Bowie somehow seems bizarrely in step with 2018. Seeing as this top three consists of albums that are arguably “pagan”, and folk horror’s representation in popular 2018 films like Hereditary, The Blue Hour feels accidentally on trend. It’s crazy to think that a band whose first release happened 25 years ago could still be relevant in 2018, but Suede somehow are so please give these dads a hand and then listen to The Blue Hour’s glorious closing trio of songs a lot, because boy are they “Most”.

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usashirtstoday · 4 years

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Back Cat I Actually Dont Need To Control My Anger Everyone Around Me Needs To Control Their Habit Of Pissing Me Off

Excited to be coming back to arthur ashe kids’ day at the Back Cat I Actually Dont Need To Control My Anger Everyone Around Me Needs To Control Their Habit Of Pissing Me Off usopen on august 26th in new york playing for the roger federer foundation get your tickets to join the fun aakd. Bruce and the e street band recorded two of the tracks from chimes of freedom on this day 30 years ago this live ep is back on vinyl exclusively as part of the album collection vol 2 1987 1996 available next month. Tag a mom friend who s the only got 20 minutes to shop on my lunch baby shower gifter bundles baby place has got her back with our coordinating outfit sets multi packs shop girls bundles baby place Back Cat I Actually Dont Need To Control My Anger Everyone Around Me Needs To Control Their Habit Of Pissing Me Off

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So this is going to be a Back Cat I Actually Dont Need To Control My Anger Everyone Around Me Needs To Control Their Habit Of Pissing Me Off bit long but bear with me I had what I believe to be a pointless and incredibly frustrating experience with the assistant manager jamie at your auburn hills great lakes crossing location today I have been coming here for three years I frequent your orlando san marcos and new jersey locations as well at least once a year when we stop we usually spend 5 to 10 thousand dollars on your products the system is simple I go in park in a corner and bring bins to my corner sort them bag them move them to the front register and repeat today I brought a personal duffel bag as it holds about 8 to 12 of your bags worth of stuff I get told that i’m not allowed to use it because it’s policy not a big deal at all I say okay i’ll do that for the rest rather than rebag all of this i’ll just go up in line and pay for it and it can sit behind the counter seems pretty reasonable to me nope I got obstructed suggested that I might be stealing something and not allowed to pass stating if I don’t want to follow the system I can leave he then takes my entire duffel dumps it onto the floor and then rebags it into victoria secret bags then moves it to the front counter so it can be rang in I thought this was a little odd but hey he was doing all the work rebagging it so whatever i’m like dude i’m going to be spending about 8k today all I want to do is come in spend some money get out without any drama what’s the problem whoevers in charge should be thrilled with a sale like this we’re spending 8k keep in mind that I told him that I would do what he wanted and it wasnt’ a big deal and the response was to the effect of stop being lippy and just listen I told him what do you want from me I just agreed with you and said I would use your bags i’m not being lippy at all I know this because I said okay dude not a problem i’ll use your bags his response was maybe if you get to buy it i’m like what are you suggesting that an 8 000 order is something you guys don’t want he’s like yeah if you buy it i’m like dude we are spending 8k today why would I bag up a bunch of stuff and spend 2 3 hours picking our your fabulous product to not buy it anyway so I had 4 credit cards one card had 2 000 one had 3500 one had 2000 and one had 1000 because I am buying for multiple people I had 4 different cards all in my name I wanted one receipt for each card not a big deal to me right wrong again he cited some policy and said if the order is more than 750 items that they aren’t allowed to ring in under 750 items on any one receipt id like to point out that that amount is higher than your employees said they could take as a cash payment I asked him to please show me that I would understand better if I could just read it he was willing to do so he brought out the policy book and to my surprise what it actually said was words to the afffect of cash payments cannot be split up or over 750 items I forget the second half my immediate reply was so what’s the big deal im using credit not cash he snatched the policy book away from me at that point and said you know what you can just listen to me or I don’t have to let you buy anything it’s up to my discretion I then called your orlando outlet and your new jersey outlet and talked to the store managers and cited your policy I was given I asked them to confirm if that was accurate and both said if it was a policy it was news to them I then asked if they would let me buy my order using 4 cards and 4 receipts the woman at orlando said oh my gosh yes we do that every single day I asked if I went to her store if I would have any trouble with this in the future and was told no then she said you can always come down here if you’re in the area and i’ll be happy to take your order after that phone call I tried again here’s the video of that attempt I said listen I have 4 credit cards your register girl said you told her she can’t ring up an order under 750 items that’s 3500 if it’s 5 items not all of my cards have that much I have done multiple receipts every time I came here heck I can even supply them to show it he tells me that because I am order so many items that I can’t have less tan 750 items per receipt so I point around to everyone else and ask what about everyone else you aren’t forcing them to spend a minimum of 750 items what about the final charge i’ll have 750 items for two tickets but the leftover isn’t going to be 750 items you’re not going to let me buy them he shrugged his shoulders to say no at this point I haven’t yelled ive been a bit snarky and sarcastic because I know he’s just giving me a hard time two people ring in our order almost every time I am up there and we were there 3 times in the last 6 months spent a bunch each time so at 730 8pm or so we are done shopping assuming that two people could ring us up ended up being a fantasy he forced one employee only to ring us up later on he comes up when its now close to 9pm and says hey you mind if we ring you up on both registers I chuckle and say no I don’t but you do you don’t want to be breaking that 750 rule do you he glared at me and then sent the employee away and walked off after blinking a few times I laugh because after telling me over and over he couldn’t do it he just got caught trying to do what should have been done to begin with a short while later after 9 I find out that everyone is standing uip front except for the one girl and another associate because none of the rest of them are allowed to help her ring us up the only two people left in the store with about 700 more items to be rang in if that’s not enough since it was a holidy all of these employees are apparently being paid overtime to stand around and wait at a bit after 10 all but two girls leave and one girl is waiting to count cash while the other girl sits and keeps ringing stuff in we apologize profusely we expected two employees to ring us up like always and timed our visit to be out around 9 if this had happened instead of having one literally stand there and watch her for 1 hour and 47 minutes after close we would have all been out on time and no overtime or extra hours spent so finally at 10 47 pm our orders are done we thank the lovely girl lauren and jasmine who got stuck staying 2 hours past close because a manager made up some random policy and had to double down when I pointed out he really needed to follow that 750 rule when he was going to toss another girl on the register if this is policy fine it doesn’t seem to be no manager at your other outlets knew what he was talking about the orlando one insisted that the only restrictions are on cash payments and verified I was paying cash or credit it’s a pretty humiliating experience to get hassled trying to buy panties and bras by someone who’s on some type of power trip the only thing I said sideways to him was that I flat out didn’t believe his policy and that credit absolutely is not the same as cash I didnt call him any names scream at him or did anything to disrupt the store beyond what you see in the videos if this is not policy i’d like an apology from that manager in person or over the phone admitting he was mistaken I would hope that the next time I go there I am not hassled but if not I guess there’s always orlando or new jersey who seem to be quite friendly I also want to give recognition to jasmine and lauren lauren is the poor soul who got stuck ringing everything in alone because of the manager’s silly rule and not allowing anyone to help because it would be in violation of the 750 item rule jasmine was the cash counter who had to wait until we were out of the store to count cash even more interesting is that I had a former employee with me helping me buy and she said she never heard of this policy either but it doesn’t mean it wasn’t added since she left she was just as confused because the manager spent over 30 minutes trying to explain and defend this when that time certainly would have been more efficiently spent doing productive things instead of hassling someone who literally sits in a corner and speaks to no one while sorting through your products one bin at a time id love a call back about this or to find out what exactly is going on ive never been hassled like this before and it was a little frustrating and very trying to keep my cool joe rossetti alexandria gunn. 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