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onlyjaeyun · 10 months

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𝐇𝐘𝐏𝐄 𝐁𝐎𝐘

𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐑𝐓𝐘𝐎𝐍𝐄: 𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐥 𝐩𝐡𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐜𝐚𝐥𝐥

࿏ 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: 𝐒𝐢𝐦 𝐉𝐚𝐞𝐲𝐮𝐧 𝐱 𝐟𝐞𝐦!𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

࿏ 𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: 𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐥𝐞 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐭!𝐀𝐔 (𝐡𝐞'𝐬 𝐫𝐚𝐢𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐛𝐫𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫), 𝐧𝐞𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐛𝐨𝐫𝐬/𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐬!𝐀𝐔, 𝐜𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐠𝐞!𝐀𝐔; 𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐬𝐭, 𝐟𝐥𝐮𝐟𝐟, (𝐟𝐮𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐞) 𝐬𝐦𝐮𝐭

࿏ 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 𝟑𝐤 (NOT PROOFREAD)

࿏ 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: 𝐦𝐮𝐭𝐮𝐚𝐥 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐛𝐚𝐭𝐢𝟎𝐧, 𝐩𝐡𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐬𝟑𝐱, 𝐩𝐫𝐚𝐢𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠, 𝐬𝐰𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠

࿏ 𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐢𝐬: 𝐀𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐲𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐡𝐢𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐡𝐢𝐦𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐩𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐢𝐛𝐢𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐲 𝐨𝐟 𝐫𝐚𝐢𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐛𝐫𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫, 𝐉𝐚𝐞𝐲𝐮𝐧 𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐬 𝐡𝐢𝐦𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟 𝐟𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐝 𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐡𝐞𝐞𝐥𝐬 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐰𝐞𝐞𝐭 𝐜𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐠𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐮𝐝𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐧𝐞𝐱𝐭 𝐝𝐨𝐨𝐫...

← 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬 — 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 — 𝐧𝐞𝐱𝐭 →

Your heart is brutally hammering against your rib cage as you give yourself a few minutes to calm down before actually dialing Jake's number.

The tears are still burning in your eyes and find their way down your cheeks whenever your brain replays the last three hours.

After your conversation with your former romantix interest, you've decided to take a nap since Jake wasn't available and your parents had gone out with their own siblings, leaving you with some time to yourself and you definitely weren't going to spend those precious moments worrying about that loser's words.

However, afterwards you definitely found yourself wishing you never went to sleep in the first place as you woke up to a random tweet about you literally trending among your fellow university students.

You try your best not to worry about it too much because just as Jake said, things like this are usually forgotten aftera few days but you simply can't stop your brain from going to the worst places, despite talking to your main concern directly.

Jaeyun seemed exhausted, confused and even frustrated, didn't even try to hide just how annoyed or rather bothered he is and your brain has decided to make this the reason behind your veins literally being filled with nothing but the disgusting feeling of anxiety.

Especially upon hearing Jake's thoughts about the things you had stold Jeno in a moment of anger and annoyance, you just hope the phone call can help both of you to just calm down.

The more you think about it, the harder you start crying because the mental image of Jaeyun doubting himself and his abilities because of your words breaks your heart and all you want to do is hold him in your arms and tell him what he means to you.

Absolutely lost in your thoughts, you don't realise how much time has passed, your heart skipping a beat when your phone starts vibrating in your hand.

Without missing another ring, you pick up Jake's call and let out a shaky breath to calm yourself down. You don't want him to know you're still crying, he always gets so worried.

"Hey", his voice is calm, but doesn't give away any emotions, something you're not quite used to when it comes to the usuallly so enthusiastic and excited young parent.

"Hi", you mumble and wipe away your tears with an inaudible sigh of frustration, "how are you feeling?"

You manage to ask the first question without your voice breaking and you just hope he's too tired to notice the shakiness in your words.

"I'm okay, Baby", Jake begins and you hear his door falling shut followed by his soft sigh as he seems to get comfortable on either the couch but most likely his own bed, "please don't cry anymore, you know it breaks my heart."

You can't help but sigh at his words, not even verbally responding as you put him on speaker and wipe away the tears from your eyes.

"I'm sorry, Jake", you whisper and start fiddling with the hem of your shirt, "I just feel so bad for causing all this."

"We'll sort it out, pretty girl, stop worrying so much about it, yeah? There's always a way out and that's the one we'll be looking for once you're back, okay?"

You let out a noise of approval and allow yourself to enjoy his voice, your body actually craving the effectit has on you.

"Okay", your voice is still small and shaky, the rollercoaster of emotions you've been through all day finally catching up on your physical state.

A few moments of silence fall between the two of you but as usual, you don't really mind. The lack of words has never been slmething to bother you when it comes to Sim Jaeyun and even if you feel the slight tension in the air, you definitely don't feel uncomfortable.

However, after a few minutes, your body starts craving the sound of his gentle, raspy voice, the one which never fails to put you at ease and become the main character in your naughtiest dreams.

After the first three dreams including Jake and his sinful voice, you've stopped counting and have lost ever since; too caught up and needy whenever you wake up, especially after getting a taste of his sweet noises.

"Talk to me, pretty girl", Jake suddenly says, his thoughts apparently in sync to yours and you can't hide just how surprised you are, "I miss your voice so much, wanna hear you."

You gulp harshly in response to his request because for some reason the air between the two of you has shifted drastically.

"I don't know what to say", you whisper in response and sit up against your headboard, pushing your blanket away as the sudden change in body temperature becomes absolutely unbearable.

"Just tell me what you're thinking", the young parent mumbles and lets out a sigh of exhaustion which easily breaks your heart even more; the thought of him being so tired and overworked doubling the size of worry in your chest.

"I'm worried about you, Jaeyun", you admit and bite your lip, trying your very best to stop the arousal from creeping up your spine and righg into your system. All he did was speak. There's absolutely no reason for you to be this worked up, especially considering why you guys decided to have this phone call in the first place.

"Don't be, sweet girl", Jake sighs, "I'm going to be okay. Life's never been any different so I'm used to it by now, don't you know me?"

You let out a soft hum of approval and hate yourself for not being able to stop yourself from imagining the delicious sight of him in the combination of some random shirt and lose sweats which tend to hang extra low on his hips whenever he's about to head to sleep; hair messily falling into his face as sleepiness grazes his beautiful features and makes him look even more breathtaking.

His voice in combination with his choice of words makes your head spin and if it wasn't for the last bit of rationality you have left, you would have whimpered without any shame.

You're just glad he can't see you because there's absolutely no way to hide the way you've been pressing your thighs together like a woman gone mad.

"Come on, Baby", Jake says softly, his raspy voice sending your body into absolute overdrive and you hate how much you're enjoying it, "nothing calms my heart the way your voice does. Wanna hear you."

"Stop that", your brain finally loses the battle against the arousal in your body as you let out a soft whimper and basically beg him to bring an end to your misery, "you don't know what you're doing to me and I'm trying really hard to keep this civil."

Jake can't help but let out a deep chuckle in response to your words, because he knows exactly what he's doing and he loves how you seem to completely deny his intentions.

"It's okay, pretty girl", he replies calmly, his hand almost instinctively finding its way to the bulge in his sweats, a deep grunt escaping his thoughts as soon as he applies the tiniest bit of pressure on his sensitive cock through the fabric.

"Oh, my God", you whisper and subconsciously push your hands in between your legs before you reach for your phone to turn off the speaker and press it against your ear; the urge to hear his heavenly noises properly the only thing on your mind.

"I'm sorry, Baby", Jake mumbles, "I know I said I was insecure but the more I think about the way you talked the more I want to fucking ruin you." His words seem calm and well chosen, but from the way he seems to barely hold back a moan in between them you can tell just how worked up he is.

Of course you don't know he's already pushed his sweat down his thighs, pretty hand firmly wrapped around his aching cock as he thinks of all the things he wants to do to you. No one has ever managed to get him like this and to say he's enjoying every lash bit of it would be an understatement.

Jake simply can't help it. His feelings for you are so strong, so intense and deep, his body has absolutely no idea how to handle them all, which is probably why it has decided to just get a physical reaction out of him. At first he hated the fact he popped a fucking boner every time you left his place after a beautiful day together, but after weeks of punishing himself for something he can't control, Jake has decided to just let everything happen. And from the way you've been whimpering right into his ear for the past few minutes, he's quite sure you're in a similar state.

"Keep going, please", you whine and start rubbing firm circles into your swollen clit, way too overwhelmed by all the arousal and pleasure clouding your brain, "I need you so bad."

"There you go, good girl", Jake replies quickly, completely lightheaded as your words make his cock throb in his fist and a sense of pride fills his chest.

Jake has never been one to watch much porn, simply because he hates just how fake it looks. He's always prefered the authentic videos of couples who are genuinely enjoying it and actually love each other. Maybe he's a little old fashioned and definitely lives up to his title as a hopeless romantic, but he doesn't mind anymore.

And that's probably why this doesn't feel weird to him, nor makes him cringe. He knows you're enjoying yourself and it's turning him on to think of your pleasure and being the reason behind it. Jake wants to make you feel good and he's attentive enough to know exactly what you need to make it happen.

After several weeks of dating each other, he's noticed your active reactions to his words of affirmation, as well as the way you bite your bottom lip whenever he praises you or your little gasps when he openly talks about how good you make him feel. He might be inexperienced but that's not going to stop him from toeing around the line to see what might come in handy later on.

"I love it when you use your words for me, Baby. Makes me feel so good."

Just as expected, his specific choice of words elicits a soft moan from your delicate throat and makes Jaeyun's eyes roll into the back of his head. He's never heard anything as angelic yet sinful as your sweet sounds of pleasure. Something he knows he's going to saviour and protect forever.

"Tell me what you're doing, pretty girl", he demands softly, because he knows at this point you're too far gone to let the shame and awkwardness get to you.

Nothing much happened after the night of the roadtrip, besides a few lorr make out and dry humping sessions but again – Jake's attentive and quick to catch up on things and his absolute favorite observation is the way you gend to get absolute fucked out whenever you're passed a certain point.

"Touching myself, Jae", your response comes a lot faster than he expected, but still manages to make him dizzy in the best way possible.

The mental image of you on your bed, hand neatly placed in between your pretty thighs as you make yourself feel good just the way he's been dreaming about definitely doesn't help with his lack of stamina.

"Yeah? Does it feel good, angel? I wish I could be there with you", he sighs and throws his head back with a groan, his hips bucking up desperately as he strokes his cock just the way he likes it.

"Me too, Jake. Want you to watch me."

Your answer sends jolts of pleasure right into his blood and rippinh a deep groan of your name from his throat.

"F-Fuck", he whispers and tries to calm himself down but the thought of being the reason for your orgasm is ruining him in ways he's never experienced it before.

At this point you're way too far gone to even realise how much noose you're making and Jake absolutely loves it. He can picture you so well: pretty lips firmly tugged in between your teeth, hand between your thighs making yourself good for him and him only.

"We both know I wouldn't be watching for too long, pretty girl", he grunts and applies a little more pressure to the sensitive tip of his cock as he thinks of all the ways he wants to claim you.

"Wouldn't mind, Jae. I want you to touch me so bad", your voice is shaky and the sudden heat is sending you even deeper into the sweet haze of your pleasure, you can barely make out a proper thought except for him.

"That's my good girl", the praise slips out before Jake can even process it, "I can't wait to make you mine in every way possible, sweet girl."

You moan again, this time too far gone to even think of forming a verbal response.

"Wanna push a finger inside for me, Baby? It won't feel as good as mine but we gotta make it work for now, right? Go ahead, pretty one, make yourself cum for me."

Without missing a single beat you push your hand further down your soaked panties, inserting a single digit inside of your sensitive cunt and moaning his name as soon as the feeling of being filled spreads through your body.

"Want you to cum for me, too", you mumble and quickly find a stead rhythm, firmly pressing your palm against your clit to apply just the right amount of pressure.

"Don't worry, Baby", Jake whispers and glets out a groan, "I'm yours. I cum for you only, I promise."

The sudden depth of his words makes you a lot more emotional than you would have ever expected, which is why you physically can't hold back a little sob from leaving your abused lips.

Jake knows you're close. He can tell from the way you've been getting louder and considering you're not in the safety of your own four walls, he's determined to push you over the edge as fast as possible. Mostly because your little moans and whines are driving him absolutely insane to the point where every second feels like a whole minute.

At this point he's just thrusting into his fist; his cock throbbing in response to every noise you make, his tip red and angry, leaking way too much precum but never once has every stroke felt this good.

"Mine", you keep whining, your sudden possessiveness surprising the both of you, yet you both wordlessly choose to ignore it – for now.

"Only yours, pretty girl", Jake grunts and tries his best to keep his moans down, but he can feel every bit of self control slowly slipping through hsi fingers, "and you're mine, right? Please, Baby, I need you to say it."

"Yours, Jaeyun", you suddenly decide to bring your focus back to your neglected clit, using your juices to rub quick and practiced circles into the little bundle of nerves and finally feeling your high clinbing up your spine.

"Let's cum together", he suddenly whispers, his voice a little higher pitched yet still just as raspy and you feel your body actively longing for the perfect feeling of his lips on yours.

"S-so close", you whisper and push your face into your pillow to muffle your noises, clinging to your phone like your life actually depends on it, "please."

Your little plea is enough for Jake to finally let go and stumble over the edge head first, his strokes picking up their pace as he rides himself through one of the best orgasms he's ever experienced and from the way you're chanting his name like a mantra he knows you made sure to follow his request.

Your high comes crashing down on you as soon as Jae starts moaning a little louder, the waves hitting you one by one as you continue to rub your clit through it all, only stopping once the little jolts of pain rush through you from the overstimulation.

You have absolutely no idea how much time passes; the silence on the line filled with heavy breathing and the thrumming of your heart in your throat as you try to calm yourself down.

Jake doesn't say anything either, because his brain is absolutely fried trying to process what just happened.

"You did so well for me, angel", he then says and ignores the uncomfortable feeling of his cum stained shirt sticking to his skin, a sudden wave of exhaustion hitting him out of nowhere.

"You too, Jae", you reply quickly, knowing he loves to hesr you praise him, even if he's never sdmitted it to you with words, "made me feel so good. You always make me cum so good."

Your words might not make sense as your brain is absolute mush but Jake appreciates them regardlessly. A sweet warmth filling his chest in response to your sweet praise. You always know what to say to make him feel good about himself and he can't even begin to explain how much he appreciates it.

"I miss you so much", Jake says and lets out a loud sigh; his body longing for your touch, your scent – your presence.

"Just a few more days, Baby", you reply and finally manage to sit up.

"Do you wanna facetime? I want to fall asleep looking at you." Jake's request is sweet and the actual opposite of what dou guys just did, but you don't hesitate with your answer either way.

"Let's get cleaned up first, yeah? I'll call you in five, angel."

That night you're the first one to fall asleep as Jake hums and sings a few of your favorite songs, voice raspy and hoarse, yet sweeter than honey and prettier than anything you've ever listened to.

And as he watches you slowly drift into the sweetest dreams, Jake finally puts a name on his feelings for you, yet deckdes to keep them to himself for now. Just enjoys the perfect sight of your pouty lips and slightly furrowed brows before he physically can't keep his eyes open any longer.

(A/N: Thank you so much for all the love and support, you guys are the absolute best!🥺 feedback of any kind especially comments and reblogs are very appreciated!🎀🧸)

Taglist: @writingmochi @raikea10 @moonlighthoon @ajayke-reads @bldelaine @rikisly @enhaz1 @ineedsomezzz @ikeu4life @theskzvibe @kpoprhia @jayzdaze @a-l-i-y-a @catnoirsbitch05 @thekinkpopstandsforkrackheads @end0rchans @ddazed-lhs @sunflowerbebe07 @heeverseblog @voidbeomgyu @heerinnie @vanillabeanwaffle @mimikittysblog @l0vee-l3tters @teawithbucky @fluerz @spilled-coffee-cup @3amstarlight @jungwon-xo @smg-valeria @elicheel @bobariki @beomgyusonlywife @sumarchived @aeminju @sprngfeverr @tya0 @tyunnie-gyuu @jungkkoo @s00buwu

(Taglist is closed!)

#enhypen social media au #enhypen smut #enhypen x reader #jake sim x reader #jake sim smut #sim jaeyun smut #jake sim social media au #enhypen writers #enhypen hard hours #enhypen fluff

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samiiy20 · 4 months

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Hi!! Um, what do you think Mommy or Oppa Hwa would be like helping a fem y/n get over insecurities about her body..

I love ur writing and your thoughts and your brain and you ssssssm

Hi!! first of all, thank you for your words, they made my day <3 Here is what I think would happen, I hope you enjoy it.

✩ 𝗣𝗮𝗿𝗸 𝗦𝗲𝗼𝗻𝗴𝗵𝘄𝗮 ✩

𝖯𝖺𝗂𝗋𝗂𝗇𝗀: mommy Seonghwa x fem! reader 𝗚𝗲𝗻𝗲𝗿𝗲: Fluffy, angust,smut 𝗪𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀: Insecurities, oral sex

masterlist II tag list

This content NOT is for minors!!!

This is merely entertainment, this does not represent any real person.

It is forbidden to copy or translate my work.

English NO is my first language.

You lay down on the bed around the pile of clothes, you looked at the ceiling holding back tears. Nothing you had fit you, you had eaten too much in the last few months and the clothes you had were no longer your size. You sighed, shedding a tear, and took your phone, searching for his contact.

You swallowed the pain for a while and waited for Seonhwa to answer.

“Are you ready my love?” Her voice on the other end of the phone only made the sadness grow bigger.

"I will not go…"

"Because?" You lied your lips, holding back a sob that you couldn't contain. “Are you okay?”

“No…” You rolled in bed hugging your pillow to wipe away your tears “I’m sorry.”

You hung up, throwing the phone away from you knowing that he would call again, you got up looking in the mirror, you didn't recognize that person.

Anger took over you and you hit the glass, breaking the mirror into a thousand pieces. You couldn't look like that, you didn't want to be her.

You sank into a sea of tears and hugged your body, letting your thoughts consume you.

You were tired of crying, Seonghwa had called hundreds of times and left you a thousand messages. You felt bad thinking about him, you didn't deserve her love, you didn't deserve to have him, you had no right to do it looking like that.

You took your cell phone, ignoring his messages, and dialed his number to hear his voice one last time, but the sound of the bell at your door interrupted you.

Through tears you ran fearing that it was him, but you opened the door finding Seonghwa, you couldn't look at him, not like that. You tried to push him but he was faster and entered the house.

“I came as fast as I could… what is happening my love?”

“Go away… please” You covered your face with your hands, taking the courage to say the words “I don't want to see you.”

"did I do something wrong?" The naivety in his voice only made your chest hurt more and the tears piled up in the palms of your hands “please look at me” you obeyed him letting him see you, but when he tried to get closer you moved away “what's wrong?”

“I don't want to…” the words were stuck in your throat, letting out broken sobs “I just want you… to leave… I don't want to…” you took a deep breath, breathing hard as you prepared to throw the bomb at him, “I don't want to see you anymore.”

Seonghwa was frozen by your words, he didn't understand what your attitude was due to and he couldn't help but wonder what he did wrong, but he wasn't going to leave things like that, he needed explanations. "You do not love me anymore?"

His words only tortured you, but you couldn't stand it anymore and you exploded "I love you more than anyone… but I can't do this to you" you move away again when he tries to get closer

"what are you taking about?"

“Can't you see me?!!” you screamed, tearing your throat “you don't deserve someone who looks like this, I'm horrible” Seonghwa felt his heart break when he saw you in that state, what had he made you think like that? “you deserve… someone who…”

“No” You stopped when you heard the abrupt tone of his voice. He approached you again but this time he didn't let you move away and held your hands in his. You tried to get away but he was stronger. “The only person I deserve is you.”

"But…"

“I don't care what you look like” his words made you stop fighting and your tears stopped for a few minutes “I love you for who you are and that is enough to deserve you.”

The tears began to flow again and you stopped fighting, letting Seonghwa hug you and wipe your face. He kissed your cheeks and caressed your hair letting you feel his love.

“Let mommy take care of this” He took your face in his hands and you let him kiss you “I will make you forget everything and you will not last because of how much I love you”

You let yourself be carried away by his lips running over your mouth and slowly down your neck. His warm breath tickled you and made you sigh as his hands ran over your silhouette.

You hesitated for a second when you felt his fingers on your waist but a bite on your skin made you forget your thoughts, letting Seonghwa adore you.

“Hwa… I…”

“Shh… that's not my name” You bit your lips as you felt his hands massaging your center.

“Mommy…” you whispered, watching Seonghwa’s smile grace her face.

You let him get rid of your clothes and his mouth ran over your entire body, making you feel tickled with his sweet kisses.

He descended until he reached your anxious center and carefully and slowly lowered your panties without stopping looking at you, causing a blush to adorn your cheeks.

“Open your legs” you sighed, leaving your pussy exposed to his face and without wasting time he immersed himself in you, tasting your juices.

Your hands tangled in his hair without taking your eyes off his eyes, hungry to have you, and he licked your clitoris, passing his fingers along your entrance.

“Mommy” you moaned when your legs trembled as you felt his tongue play with your clit and his fingers pump inside you, touching a sweet spot inside.

You couldn't stand it and you released yourself in his mouth. He got up kissing you making you taste your own juices and you hugged him letting him drag you into the room.

Seonghwa spent the night kissing every stretch of your skin and getting rid of your insecurities with words of love while he made his bodies fit together.

#park seonghwa #seonghwa #ateez #ateez scenarios #ateez smut #ateez hard hours #kpop imagines #atz smut #atz fanfic #atz seonghwa #ateez x reader #ateez fic #seonghwa x reader #atz hard hours #atz imagines

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rowanaelinn · 1 year

Text

Illicit Affairs - Chapter Fourty-Eight

Masterlist

A/N: I absolutely hate this chapter, but I hope you guys won’t share the feeling! It’s bad, like very bad, but I did promise you all the chapter today so here it is! If you feel like it, I can rewrite it, as I'm unsure if this actually makes sense or not.

Also a good news I wanted to share... I'm going to study in the US next year!!!! I'm so so happy, really. I can't wait to learn more English

Warnings: talk of death | Word Count: 5,000

The only thing she felt was the sour, metallic taste of blood in her mouth. Maybe it was because she kept biting her inner cheek, or maybe it was from the way she kept anxiously assaulting her hand with her teeth. Tears had long dried on her skin. It was as if she was stuck in a haze, and no matter how much screaming her brain did, she didn’t move or speak. She knew the man driving was speaking to her, but she couldn’t comprehend the words.

All she wanted to scream at him was to drive faster and faster. He wasn’t going nearly as fast as she needed him to. If he’d let her drive, things would have been better. But he didn’t. She had no idea how she ended up being driven to Doranelle by Sam, but she remembered closing her eyes once on that sidewalk, and the next time she opened them she was in her car, Sam on the driver’s side.

She had to snap out of this. Snap out of this terror that had paralyzed everything but her mind. She wished the fear had paralyzed it as well. Then maybe she wouldn’t feel like she was dying.

Which she would if they didn’t make it in time. Or if Helia… Or if that little bundle of joy and sunshine didn’t make it at all. Aelin would rather end her life than live in a world so cruel and joyless.

She had no idea what happened, only knew that her little girl… She was hurt. She wasn’t alright. This… This wasn’t right.

She was going to be sick again. She didn’t know where her phone was. She had to call Aedion, she had to tell him. If things turned badly… She needed her cousin with her.

And yet, she made no moves to find her phone.

Because it felt too much like the last time.

It felt too much like the time she called him, announcing that Celaena had passed away.

Aelin couldn’t make the calls anymore. She’d lost that strength along the way. She wouldn’t be the bearer of awful news anymore. She couldn’t do it. She couldn’t imagine the way Fenrys had felt, making calls in the stead of—

Rowan.

Why hadn’t Rowan called her?

Oh, Gods—

What if he’d—

He had to be okay. He had to be fine. But if he was—why had Fenrys been the one to—

Someone grabbed her hand, stopping her movements. She hadn’t even realized she was moving, that she was doing something.

“Aelin, you need to calm down,” Sam said, eyes on the road and one hand on the wheel. “You’re scaring me, you’re breathing weird.”

“I need my phone,” she breathed, looking everywhere for it. “I need to call him.”

“Call who?”

“My phone,” she snapped, ignoring where the fire came from. “Where is it?”

Sam frowned, but he dug in his pocket and handed her the device. “We’ll be in Doranelle in just a few minutes.”

She said nothing. Her hands shook as she typed her password and called Rowan’s number. The line went dead right away, and her heart dropped. She tried again, and the same thing happened. Had he… Had he blocked her number? For the last six months they communicated through Fenrys or another one of their friends, but if… Even if that option broke her already mutilated heart, she rather that than him being hurt. If he was… The sheer idea of it made tears burned her eyes.

“C-Can I get your phone, please?”

Sam didn’t ask questions, only typing in his password and handing her his phone. She almost didn’t catch it, but she gripped it hard, dialing the number she knew by heart. But once more, the line went dead immediately. His phone was off.

She hid her face in her hands, trying to keep her breathing regular but… He could be hurt. Helia was hurt. She thought that if she lost one of them, she’d die. But if she lost the two of them, how was she supposed to hold on?

She startled when she felt a hand on her shoulder, “We’re there.” Sam said, voice hesitant. Aelin looked out to see they were indeed parked facing Doranelle’s hospital. She hadn’t told him where to do, but he’d taken her phone… Fenrys must have told him.

Aelin allowed herself one breath. One deep, focused breath.

And then she was out of the car, rushing toward the entry. She wasn’t wearing her coat anymore, she had no idea when it’d been taken out—

On her heels, Sam was there. He asked her to slow down, to tell him what was wrong. How was she supposed to explain that? She couldn’t, she had no information…

Cold air hit her skin as she entered the hospital, walking toward the receptionist who had her eyes wide open. Aelin must look awful. She forgot how cold it was in this goddamn hospital, especially during the summer.

“Miss, are you alright?”

“Where is Helia Whitethorn?” she asked, her voice barely human. She wasn’t in the mood for any small talk, or even just a polite conversation.

The woman frowned, “Miss, you look distressed, is there anything I can—”

Aelin’s tempter rose, “I just want to know where—”

Sam’s hand cupped her shoulder, “Listen, we just heard that she was here tonight. We would really appreciate some information.”

“Are you family?” The woman asked.

“No, but—”

“Yes,” Aelin cut him off. “I’m family.”

She frowned, looking conflicted. “It’s policy that I cannot give you information about a patient if you’re not a family member.”

“Can’t you hear? I am family.”

“Can anyone prove that?”

Aelin’s entire body tensed. Her—Helia. Helia was waiting, and this woman was wasting her time. This wasn’t right. “Do you have any idea who I am?” She hated playing this card but…

“Excuse me?”

“My father is the chief of surgery, Rhoe Galathynius? You know him, I suppose. Tell me where she is before I call him.”

Her face paled, and she typed something on her computer.

“What the fuck was that?” Sam asked, voice barely louder than a whisper. He was frowning, looking at her as if she was thing strange thing.

“It’s me loving people,” she snapped, turning back to the woman.

“All I can tell you is to go into the fifth waiting room. I don’t have any other information.”

Aelin only thanked her, and then she was running. Even in the stairs. The elevators were too long, too slow. She needed to be there. She took a turn right, then left, then right again until she reached the room. The door was opened, and she stopped in the doorway, breathless. Heads shot up, all familiar but only one mattered. She could have drowned in the sadness and despair of these beautiful green eyes. She let out a quiet, painful sob when she saw his arm in a sling and the scratches and bruises on his face. He stood, as if compelled.

She couldn’t take it anymore. She ran, throwing herself at him. He groaned, and she realized she must have hurt his arm, and yet she was wrapped into the most bone-crushing hug she had ever been in. She could barely breathe with the way he squeezed her. He was alright, he was in her arms. She squeezed him harder, almost as a way to realize that indeed he was right there. He was with her. His hand cupped the back of her head, pressing her harder into him, as if he was also trying to wrap his mind around the fact that she was there.

She pulled out a little, a little unwillingly, and she only realized then that she had started crying again. “A-Are you okay? You fine?”

“You’re here,” he breathed, surprise and shock hon his face. “How are you here?”

“Fenrys,” she answered, still breathless “H-He called me.”

She turned her head to Fenrys, and her heart broke at the sadness in his eyes. If she had more will, she would detach herself from Rowan to wrap her arms around Fenrys, but as if he knew what was on her mind, he shook his head. “We’ll get some coffee,” Fenrys said, and after that, all of his friends left, Connall squeezed her shoulder on his way out, and she smiled at him weakly.

There was just Rowan and her in there now. The moment she heard the door close, it was like it started something in Rowan. His body started shaking like a leaf, and worry spread through her veins.

His breathing sped up, turning irregular. “Hey, Rowan,” she breathed, hands on his face. “Look at me, look at me,” she begged him to do, having to force in face in the right angle.

The distress in those beautiful green eyes when they met hers was nearly enough to bring her to her knees. But she fought. Because so many times he’d stood in her shoes, so many times he’d helped her when she needed. She would do the same, because it was the least he deserved.

“It’ll be okay,” she said, weakly. “Everything’s going to be fine.”

“The car came out of nowhere,” he said, voice shaking. She’d seen him bad, but she had never seen him in such a state.

It terrified her.

She was supposed to be the unstable one.

“It hit her side, and I-I couldn’t do shit, Aelin,” tears escaped his eyes, and Aelin’s entire heart shattered.

“Where is she?”

He closed his eyes, more tears streaming down his face. He fell into a chair, leaving her cold. He passed a hand through his hair, then looked up at her. It was defeat on his face, as if he was accepting that life had screwed him up. Again. “In surgery. Her brain—it was swollen and bleeding. Too much. Two of her ribs were broken and they punctured her lungs.”

Aelin sat in the chair beside him, her whole body shaking. Almost as a reflex, her hands shot out for his, grabbing it tightly. He was hesitant at first, and then his hand closed around hers. Good. They would need each other tonight, more than they perhaps ever did.

It was as if her brain knew that she had to focus on him, because the mess turned into quiet. She angled her body toward him, “Hey, Rowan,” she breathed, and her free hand gently grabbed his chin, forcing him to look at her. “Everything will be fine.”

He shook his head, trying to shake away her grip. “You don’t even believe that yourself.”

She swallowed. “And you said it yourself, I have a track record in being wrong.”

He cursed, his face falling in his hand after he let go of her. “I’m sorry, Aelin.”

She shrugged, even if he didn’t have his eyes on her. “It’s okay,” she breathed. “I have said worse to you.”

He shook his head, sighing heavily.

Worry kept eating her from the outside, and she had to hold back from heaving for air. She needed more information, needed to know all the details. But she knew that Rowan was in shock right now. That asking him to relive the accident would only hurt him, if he could even recall what had happened. “How long has she been in the OR?”

“An hour and twenty-four minutes,” he answered flatly. “Twenty-five, now.”

And the fact that he counted, that he was counting what could be his last minutes in this world with her… She was going to be sick.

“H-How long does it usually last? The neuro part.” He knew that more than her, and maybe taking his mind off his worry to switch it toward his job, the thing he loved so much…

He looked at her, and he was quiet for a while. She thought he wouldn’t answer, that he’d leave her question pending in the void. But then, he said, “When there are no complications, around seven hours.”

“And when…” She breathed, not even voicing the rest of that sentence.

Then, she knew it hadn’t been a good idea to ask the question, because his voice was nearly frozen as he answered, “When the patient doesn’t die on the table, which happens in more than sixty five percent of cases for children under six, it can take up to twelve hours.”

She had the urge to tell him she wouldn’t die, that she would be fine, but the words died on her tongue. He was right, she didn’t believe it. She had a bad track record with keeping loved ones around.

Oh—

Oh, Gods. What if it was her fault?

She’d known. Known that she should have stayed away, that she should have never let herself in Helia and Rowan’s life. She’d made jokes about it, but it was very real. Aelin had brought her curse and miserable existence on Helia. She’d hurt her. Not only with the accident, but with everything else.

She’d wormed herself a tiny space in Helia’s heart, and then started to take more and more space. And then, Aelin got selfish. She took off, because she was scared of facing her love for Rowan. She’d hurt Helia, and the girl had been too good to be angry at Aelin.

If she died tonight, Aelin would never get over it.

Never.

Two dead around her was a coincidence.

Three was a pattern.

If this was her fault… How was she supposed to keep on going? She couldn’t. This wasn’t fair. She hadn’t… She had never hurt someone on purpose, she’d always tried to please people. Was that… Was that how life repaid her? By snatching away everyone that she loved?

Her aunt, her sister, maybe her daughter.

Who was next? Aedion? Rowan?

She rather it be her. In that moment, those dark thoughts she’d always fought to keep at bay, to keep silent, they came back. And she knew, that even if a miracle happened tonight, these thoughts would keep eating at her slowly. Maybe they had never disappeared, maybe they carefully waited the right moment to come back.

Ever since the night Rowan left in his car, leaving her in her parents’ parking lot, she had felt them come back. They’d somehow disappeared in the months prior. But she’d fought harder than ever, for Helia. But now that they are in once more…

Maybe they’d never disappear. They would always come back.

Just like ivies.

She was thorn away from that train of thought, from falling deep into that well of self-hatred by the door opening.

She supposed she and Rowan looked rough, if the look on Lorcan’s face was any indication. There was sadness in his eyes, obviously, but pity, too. If she hadn’t been so… lost, she might have huffed. Getting pitied by Lorcan Salvaterre. Great, her life was just getting better and better.

“A nurse just came by,” he said, and Aelin was at the edge of her seat, waiting for the rest. “There was a complication, more bleeding than they expected. But she is stable.”

And even if the pain didn’t ease, breathing became a little easier. “Thank you,” she nodded.

Lorcan’s eyes stayed on Rowan for a few seconds, until Rowan gave his best friend a slight nod. Lorcan left, then. She looked at him, at the man who had meant everything to her just a few months ago, the one who might still do, and he looked absent.

She understood more than anyone perhaps how he felt. The utter despair, the fear of being left alone. She urged to show him that he wasn’t, that even if everything turned to hell today, he wouldn’t be alone anymore. But it wasn’t her role anymore, was it? He’d moved on. But if she could help…

She stood and grabbed his phone on the small table in front of them, pocketing it. “I’ll get us some coffee, and something to eat.”

He looked up then. “You don’t have to.”

She only shrugged, and opened the door to then close it behind her.

Rowan’s friends were all talking outside of the room, quieting the moment they saw her. Sam was there, basically with them but still withdrawn. She was surprised, if she was honest, that he was still there. “Hey,” she breathed, crossing her arms for more warmth.

Lorcan opened his mouth, but before he could say anything, she was wrapped in Fenrys’s arms. For a second, she stayed motionless. With carefulness, she slowly hugged her friend back. It didn’t have the same desperation as her embrace with Rowan had, but it felt nice. Good.

“Thank you for calling me.”

His eyes were red when he pulled back, and her stomach dropped. She looked around and realized, it wasn’t just Rowan and Aelin. These men loved Helia, too. Everyone was worried.

“I’m glad you’re here.”

Sam took a step in her direction, laying a hand on her shoulder. “Are you okay?”

No, she wasn’t. She shrugged, giving him a barely-there smile. She turned to Rowan’s friends. “H-He said something about a car. Are the other people involved here as well?”

They all threw a look at each other. “He didn’t say a word to us, you’re the first person he talked to,” Lorcan answered. “But from what I heard, only his car was found.”

Dread filled her veins, her heart. “They just left them there?”

“Oh, Gods,” Vaughan breathed, grabbing his partner’s hand.

Aelin’s shaky hand covered her mouth as she tried to regulate her breathing. She wanted to lose it, but she couldn’t. She’d done it already; she could do it now. She could be strong for Rowan.

She nodded a few times before saying, “I need to call his, hum, their insurance. Fuck, Helia’s grandparents too and hum,” she through, her brain hurting. “Aedion too.”

“Aelin,” Sam breathed. “You already asked me to call Aedion.”

She frowned, “Did I?”

“Yes,” he nodded. “When we got in the car, don’t you remember?”

She shook her head, passing a hand through her hair. Was the floor shaking under her feet, or was it just her legs? She was hot all of a sudden, her cheeks and chest burning.

“And I called him before that,” Fenrys added. “Just after I called you.” Right, it would make sense that Fenrys called Aedion. They had this… thing. How could she forget?

Rowan’s phone was taken from her hands, and she looked up at Lorcan. “Get your ass back in that room, girl. You’re not making the calls thing time.”

“I-I need to, to help him. You don’t get it.”

“I get it. You know I do,” he said. “What you don’t get is that you’re not alone anymore. You have a support system, you have us. You let us to everything, and you just wait for your daughter to get better, okay?”

Tears burned her eyes, and she wiped them away as quickly as they appeared.

“Daughter?” Sam asked, surprised in his voice.

Right. He didn’t know about Helia. She never knew how to explain that situation. Fenrys, always here to help her, answered: “It’s a long story.” She looked at him and hoped her eyes conveyed her thanks. She didn’t feel like explaining how her path crossed Helia’s.

“Get back in there, Aelin,” Vaughan said. “Rest if you can.”

“We’ll bring you two something to eat.”

And Lorcan was right, she wasn’t alone anymore. Hesitantly, she nodded, allowing them to care for her.

---

The light was shining through the window, warming up the skin of her arms as the sun’s light hit directly on it. She hadn’t slept at all, fear too present to even think about closing her eyes for an instant. She sat next to Rowan in silence for the whole night.

Aedion had arrived last night, worried. Somehow, he’d known that saying anything would have no impact on the way she felt, so he stayed quiet. He sat beside her and held her hand, Fenrys sitting on his other side. The room had filled with Helia’s family, though her grandparents weren’t there as they were keeping an eye on Loren. She was sure that it was better for them to babysit a hyperactive boy instead of waiting at the hospital in silence, doing nothing and only awaiting disaster. Especially after they… After they lost their daughter. Lorcan kept them updated every hour, Elide there to hold his hand.

Marion was there, too, as well as other nurses. The woman she’d nearly always known threw her a knowing look, as if entirely unsurprised to see her there. Maybe Elide had told her, or maybe she had known before. Her father had said that many people voiced their concern. As careful as they’d been, it had not been enough.

She was lost in her thoughts when she snapped back to reality as someone new entered the room. Her father. Her heart leapt out of her chest when she saw his tired face, a woman surgeon next to him.

He’d been the one to perform surgery on Helia. That much she understood right away.

As if in sync, she and Rowan stood at the same time, taking a step toward the two surgeons. Her father’s kind eyes were on her, but her own gaze must have been pleading enough that he didn’t address her first. The woman spoke first. “She’s alive.”

Everyone in the room let out the longest breath they had, and Aelin wasn’t an exception. The relief, it was almost as hard to take as the worry. Or maybe she was just feeling physically weak. She held on Rowan’s uninjured arm to keep her upright as the woman went on. “I could repair the damage done to her lungs, and there shouldn’t be too serious consequences, though she will need regular checkup throughout her whole life now. But this is a brave little girl you have, Dr. Whitethorn.”

Tears socked Aelin’s cheeks as she nodded. Yes, she was so, so brave. And she was going to be fine. Rowan seemed to realize the same thing as he wrapped an arm around her shoulder, pressing her against him. Helia was going to walk out of this hell of a place, and she would—

“She is brave,” her father said, though his voice… It didn’t sound right. “Her brain was more swollen than we anticipated, it was pressing hard against the bone. The whole area was flooded with blood. We could repair most of the damage done, but even know, her brain remains swollen. More swollen than it should be.”

“W-What does that mean?” Aelin dared to ask.

“That we don’t know how much damage we are looking at until she wakes up by herself, which could take time. Especially after such heavy trauma on her body.”

“How long?” Rowan asked, though she suspected he already know. Maybe he needed someone to confirm was he dreaded to hear, or maybe he asked for her… But anyway, her discomfort didn’t only come from the way he squeezed her shoulder.

“In the best-case scenario, hours, of course. But… More realistically, days. Maybe weeks. If she… If she even wakes up,” her father said, his voice slightly quivering.

It was as if the floor fell under her feet. What did he mean by that? Would she never wake up? Would her little body grow older and taller, all without the sparkling soul inhabiting it? “I don’t believe it will happen,” her father said, and she didn’t understand how she ended seated on her chair, her father’s hands holding hers as Rowan still stood motionless. “But it’s a possibility I must warn you about, even if it’s impossibly slim. I promise, love, the past isn’t repeating itself.”

She knew it didn’t mean anything, that her father wasn’t God, and yet she breathed, “It always repeats itself, dad.” It felt different to tell him such a thing, no matter how true it was. She shook her head, her breathing quickening. She couldn’t stand to be there anymore, she couldn’t stand to wait for the next bad news.

She tried to stand up, but her father pushed her back into her seat. She didn’t understand, there was almost no one else in the room. Only she, her father, Rowan and Aedion. Rowan was standing, still staring into the void, but this time Aedion was standing in front of him, hands of his shoulder, trying to speak to him but he was perhaps too gone to hear anything. Maybe she was too, because the buzzing noise in her ears faded as her father’s rough voice woke her up. “You are not running. You will stay, you’ll go into her room and take her hand. No. Running.”

“You,” she breathed, a sob escaping her. “You ran.”

“And you’re not me,” he almost hissed. “Everyday of your life, you’ve shown that you are better than I could ever hope to be, baby. You carried this family, you always were so, so strong, Aelin. I ran because I’m weak. You’re not, and right now, I need you to strong again for little while. What I did to you wasn’t fair, life was not fair to you, but you have the power to make it fairer for that girl. For your girl. We can’t change the past, but you can forge your future.”

Then, she voiced what scared her. What had been eating at her for months, for years even. Her voice quivered as she asked, “What if I’m not enough?”

His face hardened, “Never say such a thing about yourself. You stepped up when you didn’t have to, you’re more than enough Aelin. Don’t overthink it, just let your love speak. Remember? There’s no such thing as loving too much.”

She nodded, trying to breath in deep. Told to get a hold of herself. He was right, she’d already stepped up.

And Helia… When she woke up, because she would, she didn’t deserve to feel the way Aelin had years ago. No, when she will open her big, green eyes… Gods, Aelin was going to hold her so tight.

And because she knew she could, Aelin gathered all her strength. She stood, and took the three steps needed to be at Rowan’s side. With no hesitancy, she wrapped her hand around Rowan’s, and he looked up at her. And maybe he saw something in her eyes, something that hadn’t been there before, because he squared his shoulders back. “Let’s go see her.”

---

She didn’t run, but she cried. It was crazy how she could still cry even after all these hours. When she saw Helia’s small body, bruised and that tube in her throat, helping her breathe, it’d been hard. But she tried to ignore it, she made attraction of all these things. What she focused on was who was under these tubes and bruises. Her beautiful Helia, and she couldn’t stand to see her on that bed too big for her all alone. It seemed as if Rowan had had the same thought.

Without saying a word to each other, they both sat on chairs at opposite sides of the bed. They each grabbed one of Helia’s tiny hands, and they didn’t let go.

Hours passed, and Aelin never said a word. When Aedion, Lorcan, her father or even Gavriel came, offering her and Rowan any sort of things, whether it was food, drinks, fresh clothes, they refused. She didn’t want to leave Helia’s side for a second.

But when the sun started to set, fatigue became stronger than her will. Keeping her eyes open was a struggle, and when she looked at Rowan, be looked bad. Exhausted. But he didn’t look at as if he was going to fall asleep in the next second.

His eyes shifted to hers, and his face softened slightly. “You can sleep, if you want.”

She shook her head, “No, if she wak—”

“Then I’ll wake you up,” he assured her.

She stayed silent for a few seconds and asked, “Are you sure?”

He nodded. “Rest Aelin, you need it.”

“So do you,” she said, her voice turning raspy.

He shrugged, “You’ll do the same to me when you wake up.”

She almost wanted to smile at that, she lowered her head so it rested on the side of Helia’s leg. “Deal,” she whispered, before she fell asleep in a breath.

---

Maybe minutes, or maybe hours later, she felt something being deposed onto her back, covering her. She wasn’t exactly awake, but she felt an heard what happened around her. She also felt warmth spread through her, thanks to the additional weight on her back. She was almost falling back asleep when she heard someone ask, “Are you her boyfriend?”

Rowan.

Rowan asked that, she was pretty sure.

“Why would you think so?” Another man answered, his voice less familiar.

There were a few seconds of silence until Rowan answered, “She’s wearing her date shoes, and you arrived together.”

“Her what?”

He’d noticed that she always wore the same shoes whenever she was on a date. How had he noticed such a small detail? She felt as she was seen whole, and it nearly sent a shiver down her spine. But still, she didn’t move, her eyes not opening.

“It does not matter,” Rowan answered, his voice slightly raspier than it usually is. Maybe it was because of the fatigue, it must be. “Even if you already treat her well, treat her better. She always deserves more.”

Silence, and then, “What is between me and Aelin is none of your business.”

Maybe the conversation kept on going, maybe she did hear a door close. But she would never know, falling back asleep as quickly as she did earlier.

••••••

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#rowaelin #rowan whitethorn #rowaelin fanfiction #rowan x aelin #throne of glass fanfiction #illicit affairs #rowaelin fic #aelin galathynius #aelin ashryver galathynius #rowaelin fanfic #rowaelin au #rowan and aelin

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baconcolacan · 1 year

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Haha you're probably so sick of these au swaps but im really invested!

I imagine if S!Tom and R!tom changed places spiritually instead, just imagine R!Tom waking up (in S!Toms body) freaking out because 1 he cant see shit and 2 someone is hugging him from behind?? Stay Tomm from the other hand..Oh..god. I doubt he'd be able to defend himself with R!Toms injuries

HAHAHA NOT AT ALL! Its good brain exercise for my creative flow, I dont mind the au swaps at all.

Oh definitely, R!Tom would NOT handle suddenly being blind too well. He'd probably think Tord had done something to him while he was asleep, plus he HATES physical contact so he would definitely freak out and start kicking/hitting at whoever is hugging him. This of course causes S!Tord to yell and curse "AY FY FAEN!!" which would only DOUBLE R!Tom's panic at hearing an (almost) familiar voice speak Norwegian. He'll tumble out of the bed in his panic and back away as much as he can until his back hits the wall, but he won't move since he cant see, though his fight instincts will be dialed up HIGH and will be ready to retaliate if anybody even comes CLOSE. Then...he starts seeing heat signatures. Which freaks him out EVEN MORE. "Owwww fuck! Thomas what the hell was that for?!"

The figure on the bed says, and Tom has no doubts that it's Tord. He growls and somehow his throat makes an animalistic sound, which, huh cool, but also not his main focus right now. "You stay the fuck back Larsin or so help me god I will KILL you."

That seems to make Tord pause on the bed. "...Kjaere that isn't funny."

Tom bears his teeth and somehow they feel sharper, he hears Tord pull in a quiet breath. "Come any closer and we'll see who's laughing you bastard."

They stay in silence for a while, and Tord's....fidgeting? On the bed. "What...is going on? Love are you...okay? What-" "Do NOT fucking call me that." Somehow his words sounded jumbled, a clicking noise in his throat followed after his growl. "Kjae- T-Tom..." That makes Tom pause at least. Tord never really called him Tom- at least not when he isn't trying to annoy him- plus...the way he said it seems...different somehow?? "Please...be calm, your hound, you're starting to trigger a shift...doesn't it hurt??" His what?? What in the world is happening?? "What are you-" Suddenly a door bursts open and Tom is back to raising his hackles. An actual goddamned hiss tears out from his throat as a new presence runs into the room. But...the scent (?) is familiar, and....he doesn't feel threatened by it. "...Daddy??"

Pup. Puppy. His (?) pup. His child- what??? he doesn't have a child!! - his pup. He makes a few clicking sounds before he could stop himself. The new presence stops. Then chirps. Suddenly he's all fours and running towards his pup the kid (?), he feels something lashing behind him as he curls himself around the kid before leaning up to growl low at Tord still on the bed. "...Uh...pappa??" The kid burrows himself closer to Tom, who calms down a bit at the action and lowers himself just a little. "What...is happening??" "I...don't know, puffin...." It takes a while, but eventually, AK manages to corral his dad (?) away from his papa. Meanwhile Tord makes a call to get Bing down to the cabin to find out just what the hell is going on. Why is Tom acting so strange?? ...And how come a partial shift didn't seem to hurt him?? ---- So....his eyes are back. Thats...wow, weird?? But....it seems like he's lost every other sense he had as a hellhound. Everything feels dull and limited. He cant feel any heat signatures, scents dont differentiate each other anymore. He can't feel the thrum of his hound in his veins. His body....ough fuck, holy hell. What the fuck ate him up and spat him out??? He sees all the bandages on him, and wondered how the fuck he wasn't dead yet. A door opened. Tom looks up and almost reels back in shock. T...Tord?? No, wait, how could...he's young, 30 at most, there are subtle differences to him, but he looks exactly like his husband used to when they were in their 30s. ...And why is he dressed like a douchebag?? What the hell?? "T...Elskede?"

'Tord' seemed to come at an abrupt stop as the door closed behind him. His one eye went wide, though it wouldn't be obvious to outsiders, Tom was extremely familiar with Tord's emotions when he tried to keep them subtle. Then a smile crawled up his face. And it looked too cold. "Hm, interesting..." Tom found himself wincing at the tone of voice 'Tord' used. It sounded too hollow, too distant, too...eerie, he supposed. His husband never spoke to him like that, as if he were some interesting toy. "I was wondering if you ever picked up on my language...." 'Tord' approached him, and suddenly all of Tom's senses were screaming at him to get out- His hands stopped before he could lift them. He was strapped down. What the hell?! "Have you been keeping secrets from me, Thomas?" 'Tord' was at his side now, and Tom flinched when his flesh hand came to caress the side of his face. "Did you study my mother tongue for me?" 'Tord' chuckled low, a cruel little laugh, as he gripped at Tom's chin to forcibly make him look at him. "I feel so touched!"

Tom felt his blood go cold. This man....isn't his husband....

"Won't you say it again, Thomas?" Red frowned at him, trying to look pleading, but his grip deepened more and more as Tom kept his silence, enough that his fingers were starting to dig into his skin. FUCK! THAT HURTS! Tom growled and pulled his head away, only for Tord to grip at his cheeks and yank him back towards him as he cried out. "Oh, no no no no no!" Red tutted at him as he held his face in a bruising grip. "You don't get to play with my feelings like that Thomas! How could you say something so sweet then suddenly act so cold??" Red tilted his head. "That's not very nice you know."

Tom scowled up at him. "Go fuck yourself, Larsin." He hissed.

Red chuckled. "Oh well." He said before letting Tom go only to grab him by the neck and slam him backwards on the bed, causing Tom to yelp and choke as the hold on him tightened.

He tried to break out of the hold, humans weren't as strong as hounds. But....he can't. What in the world is happening?! "I don't mind doing things the hard way."

---

hahaha I did have fun! As much as I could on a business trip anyway lmao. And the rest was good and well and long <3 I saw lots of birds.

#asks #letmeaskdanielaquestion #regimen ao3 #ew stay au #The Conference Table #AUGH AUGH AUHG #NO WAY SOMEONE SAVE MY BOY S!TOM

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thegingerjameson · 2 years

Text

Fate Adjacent - Prologue

Okay so a this is a repurpose of an old fanfic I wrote, so if anyone recognizes it- it is mine. 🙃 I can't get this idea out of my head and am using some pieces of what I wrote previously to tell a new story. I’m not sure what it will turn into but maybe you'd like to come along for the ride while I figure it out? 😁 I thought I'd throw this out there and see if there's any interest before I continue.

A/U and will include MOM spoilers but not quite yet.

Link to Chapter 1 below!

Warnings: Angst. Lots of angst. (My favorite.)

Prologur- (Y/N)

We begin at the end.

Anger comes first. Flashing, blinding, consuming. It starts off slow, lapping at your lungs and your fingers and your gut, building relentlessly, compelling you to run, to scream, to destroy. Your brain is a jumble of senseless firing synapses and your entire body trembles with the nervous energy of it all, from your scalp to your lips to your toes. You can't sit still, can't eat, can't sleep, can't focus on anything but the wave of rage that drives you to the edge of insanity before it swells and finally, blessedly breaks.

But after that brief moment of reprieve, when you're crashing headfirst into the next mindfuck of emotion, you find yourself longing for those ebbing, electric tides of anger and rage. Because after the anger and the rage comes the pain.

Oh God, the pain; ripping you wide open to the white-hot sun, dissecting you piece by piece, and even after you're left eradicated and empty, it continues to demand more, and more, and more.

It has been three days since Stephen left me, and I have nothing left to give.

They say that hindsight is 20/20, but I disagree. It's skewed and distorted, like being caught underwater and looking up. To reflect on the last few years and figure out how we got here is the equivalent of trying to find a needle in a haystack.

"We're broken, (y/n), and we can't fix it anymore," he'd said.

The receiver of the phone had been cool and metallic in my hand as he delivered the blow and I'd clung to it in desperation thinking that maybe, just maybe, if I held on tight enough, he would have to stay.

"It's better, for both of us, (y/n). I'm so sorry," he'd said simply, reaching across the miles, through the line, and ripping out my heart.

I wanted to beg him to come home, to love me like he'd promised- for better and for worse, in sickness and in health, until death do us part- but the reality of the situation sent ice through my veins and I couldn't move, couldn't speak. He whispered goodbye, and I stood listening as the dial tone turned into a busy signal, thinking, why do you get to decide?

Now I sit on the cold, hard floor in the middle of the bedroom we'd shared, surrounded by pieces of him. To my right, a set of blue robes that still smells like him. To my left, the napkin covered in my hurried handwriting that I'd pressed into his palm the first night we'd met. In front of me, a black and white photo; my arms slung around his neck, squinting over his shoulder into the sun, his face turned towards mine, lips brushing my cheek.

I want to cry, but tears seem too small, too inconsequential for the massive void ahead of me that is life without him. I want to forget, but the essence of him is ingrained in every fiber of my being, and I could no more forget that than I could myself.

Instead, I struggle to my feet and make my way across our room, shoving years of memories into cardboard boxes and trying to ignore the fact that, every time another box is taped shut, a little piece of my soul stays trapped inside. I move methodically, removing anything and everything that reminds me of him until there's nothing left.

If I could take down the plaster, the wooden planks, the nails and insulation and wiring that hold this very place together and pack them away, I would. I would pack our favorite Italian restaurant down the street, every universe we’d visited, every place we'd kissed. I would pack away the sun and the moon, the clouds and the stars until there was nothing left but darkness and even then, it would remind me of the shadow of his sad smile.

We’d loved, once; unscathed by the raw and ravaged landscape that heartbreak so often leaves in its wake. We'd learned together what it was like heal; to move in synchronicity, two halves of a whole. Together we'd breathed and fought and cried and laughed and lived. I can no longer remember who I was before him, but I do know this: I will love Stephen Strange, unrequited, for the rest of my life.

Everyone has their cross to bear. This is mine.

When the last of the boxes are piled by the door and the first vestiges of sunrise appear outside my window, I crawl into our bed and pray for the numb oblivion of sleep.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Link to Chapter 1

#dr strange x you #doctor stephen strange #dr strange x fem!reader #dr strange x reader #doctor strange #benedict cumberbatch #multiverse of madness #doctor strange x you #doctor strange x reader #dsitmom #mcu fandom

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nochi-quinn · 1 year

Text

campaign 3 episode 53: what a load. what a load of. a load of b

we never should have given sam the power of pre-recording

matt said if they're gonna make me do a movie ad I'm doing it in the goofiest way possible

I apparently need to watch that 4sd, shortonegaming keeps streaming on tuesdays so I missed it

laura squinting at the prompter

well-oiled machine

I need someone to report on the texture of that blanket

I do NOT have the money for it but god do I want it

aabria has claimed the blanket

"oh shit I bited the robit"

"no wait I'm mad at you"

I am fully walking around looking for my crochet hook during this lsdkjfls

half fucked-up, half fuckable

oh, having to make sure an area is safe for "our kind" is. hmm.

dial it back, is what I'm getting at

starlight express

werefaun

just tendiiiing

(tiktok references nobody but me understands)

(found my crochet hook)

mental whisper gossip network

"can I have advantage?" "just 'cause?"

deanna can only be heard by dogs

"I fall asleep" mood

I am begging matt to just say "houses"

"how long have you lived here?" "what a fun question"

"roll vibe check"

department store junes showed up here last december and proceeded to devour all our economic slack

"there's too much stuff in my brain, sometimes it just jumps out!" mood

imogen :(

travis: sheepishly nothing motherfucker 🔪🔪🔪

oh my god you can't just ask people why they're fauns

"alimony payment"

tilda swinton

I typed it as they were saying it lkadjfls

uwuessa

(fun story, my partner had uvulitus, but when I texted his wife about it she immediately sent back "UWUITIS?" so that was my twitter name for a while)

surely it's common knowledge that he's been under investigation

"we don't just have a druid part of the city!" why not, vasselheim does

"I don't know to be offended by that phrase"

oh. oh shit. hm. don't love that.

"I found a bag of skittles in a desk drawer and I've done nothing but eat the whole bag"

oh shit does trent's collar still work?? like I know that's small potatoes comparatively but

chetney looting like in tlou

mines? mines collapsing? ungood?

"you just hate gluten as a person?"

hmmm. unlike.

from within the palace?

BULLETS COME DOWN

"you're light an orym!"

okay I now actively dislike fcg

or at least the way sam is playing him currently

maybe I just have religious trauma idk

statue?? cursed statue???

all I'm picturing is a silver lynel

rogues are whatever

wait like zerxus' griffon?

I actually looked it up lmao, it's what the Savalirwood used to be called

she's not gonna heal you bro

oh that's a cool mini, I hate it

your badge, show him your fuckin badge!

are they within ten feet of me

"did you just roll a bunch of dice?" "no, I'm looking for more d10s" "MORE d10s?!"

jeSUS

[travis voice] there's too many diCE TO ROLL, MARISHA

oh wow, she showed him her fuckin badge

okay somebody draw the wall street bull

"and because you're fearne"

"I think frida's falling in love with fearne" "who doesn't?"

I love when travis' internal notes kick in

I think I might love umudara

a good boy!

"you made me sit between my exes and my dice are nervous!"

extra calming of extra emotions

cast valium

when you hide for three hours after going on a rampage in skyrim

I love her

"you passed everything"

can I just state how extremely HERE I am for the concept of all the old creatures and myths and mystical beasts coming back

The Magic Comes Back my beloved

"it might not be there anymore but we don't know that"

…what if what fucked up the savalirwood gets unfucked too

everything's on the table! total setting shift!

#critical role #spoilers #crititag #liveblog #reaction post

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iliveformanyfictionalcharacters · 2 years

Note

Could you please write where Putzie has a terrible nightmare and Danny climbs though his window to comfort him?

Fear

Summary: Putzie has a nightmare and Danny gets worried. Platonic or Romantic; your choice.

Warnings: Fighting *In dream*, nightmare, cussing.

Fuck stop

Go away, leave me alone!

Please!

They wouldn’t stop.

Why won’t they stop? Fuck it hurts so bad. Why?

Why did they leave me? I’m sorry I’m sorry. Another kick to the ribs. No No No.

They left me alone, they left me to hurt by myself.

Someone pulled him up, he didn't know who he couldn't see. His eyes swollen black and blue with blood running down his face.

Danny, he thought, why did you leave me? Why aren't you helping me? I can’t take it anymore, it hurts so bad.

Another punch to the jaw, his vision went black.

Putzie’s eyes shot open. His breathing was shallow, his heart pounding fast and his skin clammy.

W-What’s happening? Where am I?

He sat up head darting around and his eyes squinted to see in the darkness. For a few more moments he had this panic in him, trying to recognize something around him. Then he saw the outline of a chair up against the wall, next to his bed and the green shine of his alarm clock.

Oh.

It was just a nightmare. An awful nightmare that encompassed his worst fears. A nightmare that felt so real he could almost feel the punch against his face, but even worse he still felt that sinking feeling in his chest when he realized his friends abandoned him when the first punch was thrown.

But it wasn't real.

However, the pounding in his chest and the pool of sweat on his sheets was real. And so was the anxiety in his chest about his friends. The rational part of his brain knew they would never do that. That they would fight until they all ended up in the hospital if they needed too.

But the fear in him wouldn't go away. Even after he changed his drenched clothes, after he splashed his face with cold water and after the fear of the fight faded. The thought of his friends just leaving him helpless like that, alone, just wouldn't go away.

That's why he was quickly dialing the number of his closest friend, desperate to get rid of this awful feeling.

“What?” The voice of his best friend calmed him some. His voice was groggy. Of course it was, it's 3 in the morning.

“Danny? Danny, I need to talk to you, please?” Putzie could hear the shake in his voice.

Apparently so could Danny. “Putz? What's wrong?”

Putzie really didn't want to admit he had a nightmare, but the feeling of dread wouldn't stop growing in stomach.

“I uh-see listen. I had a nightmare,” he waited for Danny to laugh at him but surprisingly he stayed quiet, ”I’m not sure I want to go into it but I can't shake this feeling. This feeling of dread…anxiety.”

For a few moments neither of them spoke, Putzie was scared Danny was mad at him for waking him up. Then Danny spoke again.

“Can I come over?”

“What are you talking about? Its 3 in the morning, my parents’ll kill me.”

“So? I’ll come through the window. I just want to make sure you're ok.”

He thought about it, this could be what helps calm the feelings inside him.

“Ok.”

“Good, because I'm already dressed.”

The loud wrap coming from his window startled Putzie out of his daze. He jumped off his bed and opened his curtain.

Danny stood on the ground next to his window. He quickly unlocked the window allowing Danny to open the window himself.

“Be quiet! My parents are asleep.”

Danny put his hands up. “Sorry sorry. My fault.”

Puztie sighed, still uptight, the tightness in his chest had barely gone away in the 10 minutes it took Danny to get there.

Putzie sat back down on his bed while Danny sat in the chair. As Putzie got settled again he looked over at Danny and sighed. He had taken his shoes off, his socks were mismatched. His hair was messed up and he was still in pajama pants.

“I thought you said you were dressed?” Putzie said unimpressed.

“Dressed enough,” Danny shrugged,”Now what happened in your dream?”

Putzie sighed suddenly, unable to look Danny in the face as he explained what his brain had conjured up that night.

When he had finished Danny’s face was scrunched up in confusion. After a moment of contemplation he stood up and walked over to Putzie, sitting against the headboard.

“Come here.”

“What?” Putzie asked, trying to figure out what he wanted.

“Come. Here.”

Too tired and anxious to care, Putzie sat next to Danny, only to be pulled down to him, setting his head on the pillow next to Danny and his hand grabbed by him.

“Putz, you are my best friend. You have been my best friend since we were little. All of us we’re family, none of us would ever leave you alone. Especially in a situation where you could get hurt.”

The tightness in Putzie’s chest finally subsided, reassured by his best friend, he wasn't alone. And he never would be.

Putzie fell asleep soon after, pulled into a peaceful sleep for the rest of the night.

#grease #putzie #danny zuko #Grease

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whats-rambled-rambled · 2 years

Note

okay okay had to put this in an ask because tumblr limits the length of comments and I have a lot to say, I'm sorry, this is going to be a lot (I'm not that sorry)

first I would like to reiterate that I see what you're doing setting us up for canonical pain. I SEE IT. I'm ready but not ready. Oof.

second, I love soft Neil. I love Neil and drinks. I love that he brought her tea. I love that he's a little bit sassy. The your honor comment? Golden. "I rest my case"?? "I am in bed"?? I love him your honor (pun intended).

not gonna bother numbering anything anymore because just aklhslfkajhlkdfa I wasn't kidding when I said this chapter is already making my brain do crazy things (specifically dial up internet noises and incoherent screaming). You write angst SO. WELL. I have never been so ready to be put through more pain. You seriously make me feel like I'm experiencing each and every emotion. I feel a little fucked up that one of the agents died and I don't even know them. That's how well you wrote that

also, the reader nerding out over the timeline software? I love it. I love this soft, smart reader. I have a feeling they're way more capable than they seem, if that makes sense. Love the tiny details you add too, to make them more real, specifically the type of drink they like (fruity but kinda sour)

throwing in a "what's happened's happened" as part of Neil's argument to love and get to know people, even at the risk of losing them? Fuck me up shet just do it already (again, I see what you're doing here and I hate it but I love it)

Oh oh oh and "I might not have a hall pass"!! Naughty Neil! Neil was definitely a secretly naughty schoolboy, I just know it. He got up to some stuff (movie quote reference intended).

I'm very sorry that this is like super long and incoherent and that it seems like I'm a little obsessed with you and your writing but like....I am. I want more. I will read whatever you write, forever, even if I have no fucking clue what the source material is. You're just so good! And I always know how much I love getting long asks like this so I figured I would spread the love!

tl;dr I'm obsessed, please keep it up, you're amazing, Neil and this reader are amazing, posterity is amazing

P.S. I'm ready to get a little more fucked up when I listen to the song for this chapter on the way home

(I'm done now I swear)

Okay, I will try not to randomly burst into tears, so forgive me for rambling.

And I'm not surprised you see it, but you know -

-- and I did, too.

(I might have just made this one on the spot, excuse the clunkiness)

Neil and drinks - I love this trope, and I know we already had some of it in the previous chapter, but I think he's exactly the person who would bring you something comforting to drink after a night like that. And he's a good listener so, of course, he made the right decision when it comes to the choice of the beverages. Aaaand he can be a little shit all the same, in the best way possible! In this house, we love a man who can do both 😌

Dial-up internet noises - Shelby, I CACKLED. And I'm glad you felt something during the KIA agent's part, however that may sound lol. I really wanted to capture those emotions and make you care about that poor guy even with so little time spent with him story-wise.

And it makes sense, yes! This Reader is capable of many things, I think they are a bit surprised that they show their vulnerable side so easily when it comes to Neil, but they can't help it and I don't blame them. And a drink of choice thing is such a great tool to tell a little bit about Reader without going into lengthy descriptions, I can't resist using it whenever I introduce a new reader.

Listen, the "what's happened's happened" - I swear it kinda...happened hah. These two are talking, I am nodding and typing it down, and then Neil drops this and I'm like - fuck me up, why don't you. 😂

I am all down for secretly naughty schoolboy Neil. Please, someone write 10k on that topic. Or 10 chapters, even better!

(You have no idea how much I appreciate random references like that)

Don't ever apologize for super long and/or incoherent comments, you said so yourself - that's every writer's dream made true, and I am tearing up again, damn you. Thank you so so much for taking the time to leave me one, and every kind word, I'm just-- 🥺

PS. Please let me know how you like the song, you can also throw in Old Stars by Fergus James and Dustin Tebutt, and Lullaby by Emmit Fenn while you're at it😏)

#dont touch me im soft #seriously yall are so nice and supportive what did I do to deserve it #😭#shet answers #feedback means the world

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unhinged-wallflower · 3 years

Text

Overwhelmed

Who: Geto Suguru x GN! Reader

Warnings: Comfort. Slightly reckless driving. Light angst? Grammatical Errors. A tiny, tiny, TINY spoiler.

A/N: This is inspired by true events. Unloading is not easy, and we get so wrapped up trying to ignore that it's okay to be vulnerable. It's okay to cry when you don't know the reason and seek comfort from the person you trust the most.

Summary: You have to be fine, not for everyone's sake but for yourself. So, why after tonight's event, you find yourself crying and conflicted to call for help. Though someone notices your behavior and does not hesitate to be there for you.

Muffled voices surrounded you, but strangely enough, you can hear what they are saying. You laugh when everyone does, you answer when someone asks you things, but behind that smile, you were lost. It was like if your body was on autopilot.

You look at your watch, and it was getting late. "I'm sure everyone still wants to hear how great you are, but we have students to teach early tomorrow," you got up from your seat.

"Oh, come on, Y/N! Don't be a party pooper. I'm sure we can still hang a couple more minutes," Gojo pleaded.

You shook your head and gave an apologetic smile to the waitress who has been waiting to clean the table.

"They're right, Gojo. Can't you see it's time to close! Plus, we see each other every day." The black hair man scolded the pouting white-haired man.

Gojo pouted and got up, "You three go ahead. I'll pay for our meal."

Shoko was already walking ahead and pulling out her smokes. Geto walked a bit further but noticed how you were walking slow and looking at your surroundings. It was as if you were trying to distract yourself.

He opened the door and hold it for you.

"Hey, are you okay?" He stood next to you as you took your keys out of your pocket.

You scrunched your eyebrows, "Yeah, why wouldn't I be."

He shrugged, "Just asking." Though he knew that you were lying but didn't push anymore.

The four of you came in separate cars, but Gojo and Geto came together.

"Ah! I guess he's up to his antics again," You pointed at the window.

Shoko and Geto looked in your pointed direction. They see Gojo flirting with the young waitress. The three of you sigh, and Shoko decided to go back in to drag Gojo away from the poor woman.

You yawned and stretch out your limbs.

Geto chuckled, "I guess you should head out before you fall asleep here."

You hummed in agreement.

"Come on. I'll walk you to your car." He nodded towards where your car is parked.

As the two of you were walking, you were questioning if you should ask him if he wants to go with you, but your automated brain wasn't letting you.

Geto could have asked you if he could go with you, but he knew that something was going on with you, and you needed some space. Though that didn't stop him from worrying.

You got in your car. Before Geto closed the door for you, he stared at you.

"Umm, Sugu?" You asked nervously. Squirming at his intense gaze.

He shook his head, "Sorry! Are you sure you able to drive? I know you struggle driving at night." He wanted to stall, anything to be by your side.

You gave a reassuring smile. "I'll be fine! The campus is close by. I can make it! Besides, you have me in find friends. So, if anything, just look where I am at."

That's the thing he doesn't want to resort to that. He wants to believe that you'll be fine, but his gut is warning him that he should be with you.

He nodded, agreeing with your last statement, "Please drive safe then. Text me once you're close by."

He lets you close the door, his eyes not leaving your car as it drives away.

*******

A shaky breath leaves your trembling lips, and in a millisecond, a sob came afterward.

You were driving to an intersection, and it's your turn to make a stop. You were about to make a left, but your head wasn't letting you think straight. You were so caught up sobbing that you didn't properly look at both sides and almost hit a car.

"Clear your head, Y/N. You can't drive like this. Clear. Your. Head." You took a couple of deep breaths. Once the road was clear, you made the left turn, but you started to sob again. Your "Clear Mind" mantra was working-ish, but the tears weren't stopping.

Stopping at a traffic light, you started to rant, "You we-were never in m-my life, and you have the au-audacity to talk shit about m-me?! W-who do y-you t-think you are to say...to say th-that I've never done any-anything to p-prove that I can l-lead the c-clan. T-that I'm not smart en-enough to lead. I'm a t-teacher for fuck sakes!!!"

Your eyes glance at the light. The traffic light taking its time to turn green.

"Uncle, y-you are in-in no position to-to say that-that I'm n-not worthy of the title. B-because I am w-worthy!!!! I-I don't have sons w-who kno-knocked up and ha-have di-different baby mommas!!!! Plus, I ca-can destroy your weak ass sons!!!"

You reach to turn up the music. The back of your head wanted to deny this action, telling you that you need to let everything out. Though you just wanted to block your thoughts.

When your sibling found out about it and told you, it didn't hit like right now. In fact, you laughed and said that your uncle's sons didn't have anything compared to you. The elders in your clan already confirm that you were next in line to lead your clan. So, why is something like what your uncle said affecting you?

Shouldn't you be crying over your work? That there were innocent people you couldn't save, and their families blame you.

From taking your students to missions, making sure they survived, making sure the elders didn't touch one of Gojo's students, preparing to become the new clan leader, training to perfect your domain expansion, to go on solo missions. It was an endless cycle, but why are you crying for a small comment?

Could it be that you're just overwhelmed? That this is your body trying to unload?

Your thoughts were all over the place, and the music wasn't helping. The light turned green, but soon the road lights were fading, making it harder for you to drive.

"I can't drive like this," You let out a shaky breath. "What s-should I do?" You hiccupped.

You slowly pulled to the side of the road and parked your car. When you thought you had calm down, another wave of sobs burst out of your lips. Before you know it, you screamed, and punch the steering wheel trying to let go of your frustrations.

Minutes turned to an hour, and you were dozing off. Would it be a bad idea to sleep on the road for the night? Then again, you'll have to explain to Suguru why you haven't come home yet.

You didn't want to bother anyone, especially at this hour. You've learned that dealing with these emotions was best because who could understand you better than yourself?

Although...

You have friends who trust you with their vulnerability, but do you trust them with yours?

What's the point of having friends if you can't be real with them?

Aren't you the type of person friends come for comfort?

For once, don't you want someone to comfort you?

Lowering the music volume. Your phone was in your hand, and unconsciously you dial Geto. Biting your lip, you immediately cancel the call. You feared what he'll think or that he can't be there for you.

The ring from your phone startled you, he called you back.

You cleared your throat and swallowed a chunk of saliva. Hoping he wouldn't notice your broken voice.

"Hello?"

"Unlock your door." That was all he said before he hanged up.

You looked around your surroundings and saw a dark outline of a car parked behind you. A figure walked towards your door, and thanks to the moonlight, you were able to see that it was Suguru.

When he opened the door, your lips quivered, and another wave of tears streams down your cheeks.

"S-Sugu I-" You wanted to ask how or why, but he didn't give you a chance.

He leans towards you and unbuckles your seatbelt.

"I going to pick you up and put you in the back, okay?" His face was inches from yours.

You nodded and hiccupped.

He leaves for a second to open the back door and comes back, picking you up gently.

After he places you gently on the back seat, a voice comes from the direction of the other car.

"Are they alright?!" they yelled, worry hidden in their voice.

Geto pulls back and wipes some of your tears away, "I'll be back."

You didn't want him to leave; his warmth made you feel safe.

It felt like an eternity for Suguru to come back, but then you saw the headlights from the other car turned on and drove off.

You hiccupped, and the tears never seemed to end.

"Sorry if I took long. Mind if you scoot over." He said softly.

Your mind was back to autopilot and did what was commanded.

The two of you sat there uncomfortable. Geto did not know if it's okay to pull you into a hug, but he decided to do it. He makes you sit on his thighs, chest against chest, and he then pushes your face towards his neck. One arm is wrapped around your waist, while the other one is rubbing your back.

"It's okay to cry. But for once, let me hold you and soothe your raging thoughts, just like you've done for me. Let me be your shoulder for you to cry on, trust me with your vulnerability," he pleaded and hold you tighter.

You wanted to push him away, but instead, your hands reached to grip his shirt. You gritted your teeth and let out another sob. Suguru didn't stop rubbing your back and kept giving soothing words.

This craving that was starting to build, you didn't want it to end. You never thought that being wrapped in someone's arm can be so warm and slightly refreshing.

"Whenever you feel ready to talk, I'll be here with you. It doesn't matter if it's something small or silly; your feelings are important. Don't think that I'll judge you because I won't," he reassured you.

It took you a while to gain some of your composure back, but you manage to regain some strength. A shaky breath left your lips, and you pull back from his warmth. His hand reaches your cheeks and wipes away your tears. You were able to hold eye contact with him, and his gentle smile makes you feel at ease.

"Sorry for making a-a mess on your sh-shoulder," you reached to pat dry the wetness.

He grabs your hand and intertwines it with his, "It's okay." While the other one is still wiping your rebel tears.

"Umm, I'm-I'm sorry." You mumbled and looked behind him. Finding the passing cars interesting.

He knew why you were apologizing for and clenched his jaw. "There's nothing to be sorry... Look at me."

You hesitated, but he gently grabs your chin and pulls your attention back to him.

"I want to be here with you. For you." He squeezes your hand. "Remember when I was pushing everyone away, but you were able to see through me?"

You nodded.

"I didn't know I needed someone until you came, and you told me that it's okay to feel the way I was feeling. So, what did you do?" He said a bit humorously.

You smiled at the memory.

"You made it your mission to pull me out of that hole."

"I did it because I care," you unknowingly whispered.

He squeezed your hand, "Exactly! And guess what? I care about you too."

That word care, it was still foreign to you. Strange, huh? You care about others but have a hard time believing when others say they care about you. Maybe it was because people have let you down when you needed their comfort. Or chose to ignore your cries for help.

Yet, here's this man giving you warmth and comfort. Something that you have been craving for too long. It was still foreign for you, but your craving wasn't going to deny it.

When his hands cradled your face, your cheeks flared up. This type of intimacy was a bit too much, but you welcomed it. Finally, realizing Suguru is being genuine and not acting.

Tears started to stream down, and you leaned to hug him. The man didn't hesitate to hug back.

"I hope those are happy tears."

BRB I going to go cry now. Ps. I made it home safely.

JJK Masterlist

#jjk x reader #jujutsu kaisen x reader #geto suguru x reader #geto x reader #getou x reader #getou suguru x reader #jujutsu kaisen imagines #geto suguru

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tinyboxxtink · 3 years

Text

"Black Magic" *Part 11*

Ooops I MAY have lied before....

More angst comin 'atcha babes.

I'm sorry. We're getting there, I promise. I just love watching you cryyyyy!!!

I'm just kidding I love you all please don't stop reading my stuff.

(fun fact these are Raul's actual hands! It's from a LOF promo. THE FINGIES THO)

Tag List

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@sassyada

So weird note here it won't let me edit this post on my computer for some reason to add the link to the new chapter and it looks stupid in the app but whatever....I hate this place sometimes. 🤨

You went the next day straight to Rafael’s office, but when you walked into the DA’s building, it was empty. What the hell was happening? Has the whole world gone nuts?

Before you turned to leave, one of the other assistant’s came out of the public bathroom.

“Hey YN, didn’t you get fired?”

“No-- Yes-- It’s a long story,”

“Well either way, I thought for sure you'd be the first one over to the church,” She chuckled.

“I'm sorry, what?” You felt your heart stop.

“The church? Where your subject of obsession is getting married?”

“I'm sorry, WHAT?”

“People talk, Y/N. Word is you’re obsessed with Barba, screaming at him and his fiancée like an unhinged psycho,” She tried not to laugh at you.

“I…” You began to have another panic attack.

“He can't ..how did she...he CAN'T….” You started hyperventilating.

“Ooookay I'm gonna leave you here for your mental breakdown. She scoffed and walked out. You immediately bolted out behind her, dialing Maria’s number, thanking God she gave it to you the other day.

“Hola?”

"Maria he's….he's getting married,” You gasped for air.

“Y/N? What are you talking about?”

“Rafael….he’s getting…” You tried to breathe. “He’s getting married, RIGHT NOW.”

“That doesn’t make sense, Raffi would never rush into something so--”

“You said it yourself Maria, that’s NOT Rafael,”

“You’re right. Well if there’s any trace of my Raffi, there’s only one church he’d get married at. I’ll text you the address and meet you there.”

“Okay…” You started to cry as you caught your breath.

“Hey, mija don’t give up yet, it’s not over!” Maria assured you.

“Okay…” You breathed, and hung up the phone.

-----

At the church you and Maria dashed around to find the groomsman room. You found it and Maria guarded the door.

You busted in without knocking to see Rafael straightening his tie, his tuxedo jacket hung on the mirror. He turned and stared at you in confusion.

“I...I’m sorry sweetie, are you lost?” He had concerns in his eyes. Concern for a ‘stranger’. You hoped it was because he knew you deep down, but you also knew Rafael was just a wonderful man who cared for all.

“You can't marry her Rafael” You said breathlessly, tired from running around the church.

“I’m sorry, what?” He half laughed, grabbing his jacket to put it on. You put a hand up to stop him.

“Because you don't love her,”

“I don't? Really?” He gave you an amused smile.

“No! She's using some kind of spell on you.” You cried.

“...Okay, is this some kind of prank? Is this Carisi’s idea of a joke?” Rafael continued to laugh, looking down the hall to see if Carisi was waiting to yell “GOTCHA COUNSELOR!”

“No, look you have to believe me. She’s been giving you an elixir that makes you think you’re in love with her.”

“...Um, okay seriously, this isn’t funny anymore sweetie,” He stopped laughing.

“I’m not kidding!” You stomped your foot,

“Look honey I’m-- I’m sorry, you must be confused. Did you come here with someone or--?” He put on a patronizing voice.

“I’m not some mental patient Rafael, l'm Y/N! Don’t you remember me? Look at me!” You stepped in front of the mirror.

“....No, I can’t say that I do. Really sweetie you need to--”

“STOP calling me sweetie. STOP patronizing me, and fucking LISTEN to me!!!!”

“...Okay, fine. Then I’m sorry you crazy person, but get the hell out of my dressing room,” He turned serious.

“No! Look listen to me Rafael, you don’t love Liv. She has you under some kind of bat crap crazy concoction of spells to keep you under her control!”

“Okay you’re ACTUALLY insane, how the hell did you get in here?”

“I came with Maria,”

“Maria? How do you know Maria? Oh did MARIA put you up to this?! God I know she was pissed I told her not to come, but to send a mental patient--”

“I’m not a fucking mental patient!” You yelled.

“And I’M not under some kind of bizarre spell,” He yelled back.

“Ok then….why do you think you feel stronger and stronger about Olivia every day?” You asked.

“Are you kidding me? Um sweetheart that's what you call being in love. You fall more and more everyday.” he scoffed.

“Not like that and you know it.” You challenged. “It doesn’t feel like that, I know it doesn’t. I KNOW you find it weird,”

“You don’t know anything about me. I love Liv and--”

“Then why are you doing this SO fast?” You cut him off.

“Excuse me?”

“You barely proposed to her a few days ago-- which by the way, NOT your idea,” You rolled your eyes.

“Wow...you are really...are you stalking me or something?” He narrowed his eyes.

“No, but I know you. You wouldn’t just rush into something like this,” You told him.

“It’s not rushing, honey. We’ve known each other for YEARS,” He scoffed with a laugh.

“Then why? Why now? Why is it SO urgent that you get married RIGHT now?!” You stomped your foot.

“BECUASE I LOVE HER YOU FUCKING PSYCHO!!” He screamed in your face angrily.

“No, you don’t! You didn’t take her to Maria, you didn’t take her to your special place. But you took me,” You didn't back down, you matched his volume as tears lined your eyes.

“And why would I do that? Because I was in love with you? Did I just forget an entire relationship with someone I’ve never met?” He was still yelling.

“No I--” You looked down in shame.

“You what?” He crossed his arms.

“.....I used it first,” You said softly.

“Excuse me?“

“I used it first, okay?” You said tears in your eyes. “I used an enhancement spell on you that made you fall in love with me for a day,”

“Ohhhh I SEE,” he chuckled mockingly. “So what you’re really saying is Olivia is playing your game, just better?”

“NO!” You screamed. “No, the stuff I used only enhanced stuff you already felt. Hers FABRICATED them. And I only used them for ONE DAY, because I love you enough to not want to keep you for myself if it’s not real,”

“But you just claimed it was real,” he pointed out.

“I didn’t know that at the time-- LOOK,” You grabbed his hands. “The only thing that matters is that Olivia is trapping you,”

“With magic.” He looked at you again with amusement.

“Yeah…” You didn’t like this.

“That I assume she got from you?” He nodded at you.

“No she used black magic, I used good magic,”

“Oh right right, the good magic that manipulates feelings. Of course,” He nodded sarcastically.

“Dammit Rafael I’m telling you the truth! I know the real you is there, deep down somewhere. I know he is and I know how he feels about me.

“Right...look you need to let this insane crush of yours go, lady. I don’t know how you know who I am, but I have zero clue who you are,”

“That's not true. I know that's not true,”

“Oh really?” He laughed sarcastically.

“You look like a penguin,” You simply said.

“I'm sorry, what?” He continued to laugh mockingly.

“You look like a penguin,” You looked into his eyes, trying to distract him so you could pour the vial you had in your bra into his coffee next to the mirror.

So now you're just resulting to insulting me? Look you--- Oh my god what the FUCK are you doing?!” He grabbed your hand before you reached the cup. He held it and stared wide eyed at the pink vial.

“What the FUCK is wrong with you? Did...Did some criminals send you? The Diablos have pretty girls doing their dirty work for them?”

“What? No--”

“Ohhh wait,” He became sarcastic again. “So you try and counteract ‘Evil’ Olivia’s ‘magic’ with your own ‘good’ magic, is that it?”

“...I mean--”

“Alright I was tolerating you before, but if you don’t leave RIGHT now, I’m going to call security.” He swiped the vial from you and smashed it on the ground.

“NO!!!!” You dropped to your knees in devastation. That was the one thing-- the ONE thing, besides--- Well, there was no fucking way you were getting anywhere near his lips at this point. You racked your brain, trying to think of something, anything.

“....Your middle name is Eduardo,” You said softly, still on your knees.

“...What did you just say?” Rafael’s face went from amused to shock.

“Your middle name is Eduardo. You tell everybody that it's Antonio but really it's Eduardo. You don't want anybody to know your real middle name because it’s your father’s name,”

“How did you--” He tried to ask but you weren’t done.

“Eduardo used to beat you and because of that you hate him and you don't want anything to be associated with him.” You stood up, not breaking eye contact.

“....How the hell… “ He looked at you. “...You DID use magic didn’t you?” Rafael gasped.

“Yes but I--”

“You used magic to read my mind didn’t you? You used it to manipulate me and try and use my deepest secret into trying to make me think I loved you." He looked at you in disgust.

"No, it's not--" You tried to explain, but Rafael wouldn't stop.

"...That we had this perfect day together, that-- that what I bared my soul to you because I was so safe with you? So IN LOVE with you?" He spat.

"You ARE!!!!" You were crying now.

“Alright that’s it I’m calling security….” He muttered angrily.

“No! Wait, Rafael please...just….just look into my eyes,” you begged. Maybe if he stared at you, he’d remember that day when you held him and planted that memory. You went to grab his hands but he pushed you away from him.

“Get the hell away from me you psycho! SECURITY!” He moved past you and opened the door. “SECURITY!”

“No! Rafael! Please, oh god please, please PLEASE you have to remember. Remember I told you about my Broadway dream, just like yours” He was looking down the hall for a security guard, you were still yelling at him.

“Stop it.” He tried ignoring your words while looking both ways down the halls.

“...And and I told you about how my parents died and you said that you used to play and dance and sing at your abuela’s house because it was the only place you felt safe--”

“STOP IT!” He threw his hands over his ears.

“And then you told me that it wasn't until you met me that you felt that safe again. With ME!!!!” You were sobbing now, trying to get him to remember.

“SHUT UP!!!!!” He screamed, his eyes flashed a bright neon purple. Suddenly two men grabbed either of your arms and started dragging you away.

“Look, Rafael--” You fought the security guards.

"What?" Rafael held up his hand for the guards to stop and let you talk.

"Just answer me this: Even if, EVEN IF you think that I-- I used some mind control and 'took' that memory from you-- have you told Liv?"

"Told Liv what?"

"That story, that memory. Your real middle name!" You felt fresh tears falling, and you swear you saw the purple fade for a moment in Rafael's eyes.

"...Of course I have--" He shook his head with a sarcastic laugh.

"No you haven't. I know you haven't, because I straight up ASKED her what your middle name was, and she said it was Antonio," You smirked at him.

"Well, that's because I haven't had a chance to tell her--"

"You can lie to me all you want Rafael, but you need to really ask yourself why haven't you told her? In the YEARS that you've been 'in love'? Why have you never felt safe enough with her to tell her your deepest darkest shame? Does that sound like 'true love' to you? Does that even compute with what you THINK you feel about her?"

Rafael eyes darted back and forth, purple and blue swirled around violently as he took in your words. But he fought them, and shook it out of his head.

"Whatever, stop trying to play mind games with me you witch," He waved his hands for the guards to take you away, but you added one last thing:

“I’m going to go to your favorite spot in the city, the one place you go to when you’ve had a really long day or a bad day in court. If you go there, and I’m there-- you’ll know I’m telling the truth.”

“Yeah, OKAY. He rolled his eyes. “I’ll be busy getting married, psychopath,” He nodded for the men to drag you out but you broke free and walked out yourself, at least you’d have dignity.

You walked out of the church and broke down in tears. Both Maria and Chloe were waiting for you, they ran to hug you as you fell down sobbing.

“Aw honey, oh baby--” Maria held you while you cried.

“We--We have to go,” You tried to get yourself under control.

“Go? Go Where?” Chloe looked at you confused.

“Central Park,” You simply said.

You had to believe in your love now. That’s all you had left.

#rafael barba #rafael barba imagine #rafael barba x you #rafael barba x reader #black magic #law and order svu #law and order svu fanfiction

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miss-dr-reid · 3 years

Text

This is calm, and it's, Doctor #8

Warning: some domestic abuse, but nothing gory

On the drive home, my head was filled with memories of yesterday. How cute Spencer was when all he wanted to do was win a game of chess. Pretty much passing out on his lounge while waiting for dinner. Dancing the night away and waking up surrounded by fuzzy, cuddly, Spencer blanket. My heart beat hard, my head filled with joy.

Does Spencer feel this way about me? There's no reason he would. We barely know each other.

I arrived home and jumped straight in the shower. Washing my hair felt so good, I stood there, massaging for a while, relieving my head of the stress from the last week. I scrubbed my body and shaved everything baby smooth.

Stepping out of the shower, I reached for a towel from the rack, grabbed it and patted myself dry. I wrapped it around myself and looked in the mirror, memories of the first night I spent with a guy after leaving my ex.

~ I had arrived home and was finishing up having a shower, I reached for the towel rack, only looking when I couldn't feel one. When I looked, I was surprised to see my ex sitting on the toilet. A look of anger on his face...

"Have a good night?" he retorted.

"Doesn't matter to you, but it was great." I retaliated, hating that he made it in to my house without my knowing.

"As if. No one can make you feel the way that I can. I make you feel so good, baby, don't I?" He said, getting up off the toilet seat, coming toward me, one hand hiding behind his back.

"Fuck off. I don't want you anymore. I already told you." I said, backing up, ripping a folded towel off the counter behind me, "You need to leave, right now." Even though my voice was stern, he was still coming for me.

I didn't want to fight, so I ran, he tried to grab me on my way past, but I was still wet, so I slipped out of his grip. I ran straight for the front door, flinging it open and banging on my neighbours door. She didn't hesitate to open it, seeing me on the other side. I shoved my way in and she locked the door.

We moved away from the door, to her room and she grabbed me a spare shirt, I dropped the towel to put it on and was shocked to see red all over the towel where my hand had been pressed to my chest. I looked up at her who noticed it as well. She was on the phone to emergency serviced and asked for an ambulance to be added to the people on dispatch.

I didn't even realise he had got me as I pushed past him. the adrenaline was pumping through my body. I picked the towel back up and pressed it to myself once again. Waiting. He was banging on the door, demanding to be let in. He left soon after, knowing how this would end if he didn't.

The police arrived after what seemed like forever, followed by the EMT's. They were let into the apartment and the EMT suggested I go to hospital. I opted to get myself there after they deemed that the cut was not bad enough to need emergency surgery. I gave my statement to the police and thanked my neighbour for letting me in to her place so quick. ~

That was the last time I saw him. I moved out 2 weeks after that, changed jobs and finished studying. I looked at myself in the mirror, lowering the towel, lowering the towel, revealing the scar I still have on the outside of my breast, right where it meets my chest.

I covered up and went to my room, deciding what to wear.

'Something nice, but casual enough to walk places.' I tho9ught to myself. I landed on a semi-fitted sun dress and my favourite lime-green bikini. I wore some flats that I was easily able to slip on and off. I threw my hair into a messy bun and decided it was good enough.

I grabbed a few things, like sunscreen and a towel and popped them into a beach bag that I had stored away. I was ready to go. I checked my watch 11:15. Taking one last look around the place, I took my stuff and left. On the drive, I couldn't help but drive past Spencer's place, just for fun, and only 2 minutes later, I arrived at the cafe where I had met the boys for the first time.

The clock on my dash read 11:37, plenty of time to sit and wait before the boys would be here. I closed my eyes and rested my head back on the head rest. My mind wondering back to last night, wish that Spencer would think of me the same way I think of him. Maybe I'm just being desperate, but thinking about Spencer causes me to smile, every single time. I can't help it.

The loud knock on my window cause me to jolt from my thoughts. I looked out the window, seeing Morgan's face on the other side as his hand reached for the handle. Once the door was open, I climbed out and locked the car. Derek hugged me, which I returned, squeezing him slightly, he smelt good. We let go of the embrace, stepping back from each other, he looked me up and down.

"Looking good, mama." He says with a wink.

"Ha, you too." I winked back, "I thought you only had eyes for Garcia."

We stood there laughing for a bit, until I saw Spencer come around the corner, his face buried in a book, he was only ever looking away from it to see if there was an obstacle in his path.

"Ah, pretty boy." Morgan said, turning to look at him. Spencer's face still glued to the book, he didn't look up until he was inside. Derek decided it would be a good idea to sneak up on him and we entered the cafe behind him and stood there watching. He looked around to try and find Derek and I, to no avail. He pulled out his phone and started dialing. Derek and I giggled to ourselves, but Spencer wasn't paying attention as he was listening to the ringing on his phone. As Derek's phone rang, he didn't even reach for it, instead watching Spencer as he spun around to see us right behind him, all of us giggling.

We greeted each other, and Spencer walked toward me, his arms going outward as if coming in for a hug. I gave him a puzzled look, and accepted his embrace. The familiar smell of his cologne filling my nose, I took in a deep breath before releasing him.

Morgan bro-hugged him and we all laughed at how silly everything had just been.

"Let's grab lunch!" I exclaimed, I was starving.

We sat around a table, our chairs evenly spaced apart. The guys picked up menus, but I already knew what I wanted. After deciding, Derek and Spencer got up to order, insisting on covering my lunch. They came back and Derek decided small talk would be a good idea.

"So, Y/N," he smirked, "Is there anyone special in your life?" his eyebrows wiggling.

"Yes and No." I started, staring him in the eyes, not sure how to proceed, "I met this guy recently, I think he's great. I'm not sure if he's interested in me though. I'm also not sure if I should ask him how he feels. I mean, we only met not that long ago, so it might be too soon, you see..." I trailed off, rubbing my thumbs together, avoiding even a glance in Spencer's direction, so as though to not give anything away.

"Non sense!" Derek remarked, "If you feel a certain way about someone, you gotta tell them, babygirl. So, who is he?"

"Oh, it doesn't matter, you don't know him." I replied, trying to brush him off, but he wouldn't have it, and insisted I give him the identity of the 'mysterious guy' that I was keeping secret from him.

I remembered back to the car ride with Emily, all the little things she told me about Spencer.

"Walter..." I trailed off, smirking at myself a little, "He's cute and tall and quite smart." I could go on about all the little things I found adorable and attractive about Spence, but if I made the list too specific, Derek would piece it together too easily.

Spencer's ears perked at the name, and he looked at me with a puzzled looked, and I couldn't help the small smile that came across my face. Derek was still trying to figure out who 'Walter' was.

Derek noticed us looking at each other, looked between us, his eyes narrowing as he examined my face. His concentration broken by our food being put on the table in front of us. We all thanked the waitress and started eating. I had a chicken salad wrap, Spencer had a cheese ham and tomato toastie, while Derek had a burger. We all ate, barely saying a word, enjoying our meals.

I was the first to finish, Spencer was done soon after. We started talking about work things. We started picking on Derek who was having trouble defending himself as he tried to finish his food quickly.

"At least I don't hide behind books to avoid my feelings." Derek spat back at Spence, who just shrugged his shoulders. "And how about you, miss Perfect? Sucking up to Hotch and showing off in front of everyone on your first day, making us all look bad! You can't fool anyone with your goody-two-shoes act!" he finished by taking a sip of his drink.

I clasped a hand to my chest in fake offence, "Oh no! ME make the fantastic Mr. Morgan look bad?! how could I? His beautiful physique and wonderful words which help him pull all the ladies, tarnished! what ever will he do?" I stopped when I noticed Spencer silently giggling to himself at the sight before him. I couldn't let him get out of this. "Oh no no, Doctor. You're not getting out of this that easily. Your big brilliant brain is beautiful, but you need to work on understanding innuendos. The amount of things that have been said to and around you, that go straight over your head, we need to get you cultured."

He was confused. He didn't understand why he needed to understand jokes, why it mattered so much, and really, it doesn't. He's perfect in my eyes.

We sat there talking for a bit more until Derek decided it was time to go. We got up, left a tip on the table and headed out. We walked to y car and leaned on it, Spencer choosing to stand.

"What now?" I asked.

"The beach." Derek answered, "Don't worry pretty by, we'll find somewhere with shade so you can sit and read." Spencer's expression calmed at the sound of not being forced to swim.

We decided to go in one car. My car was elected because it was closest. I climbed in to the drivers seat, Derek in the passenger and Spence, in the back.

On the car ride, I changed through radio stations, trying to find music. Derek was confused by it, but Spencer knew what was happening. With the back coming along the corner, we all kept our eyes peeled for a parking spot.

I saw a spot, near a decent sized tree, which had a bench in the shade underneath it. Perfect. I pulled into the spot and we all climbed out. Derek and I, grabbing our beach bags and Spencer with his satchel that he has with him literally everywhere he goes.

The three of us walked single-file, me leading, to the bench. Spencer quite happily sat and pulled out his book while Derek and I set down our bags. I took a moment to take in the scene. Closing my eyes, I listened to the water, the crashing of the waves, so welcoming and calming. The smell of the ocean was so refreshing, the scent filling my lungs with every breath.

Opening my eyes, I saw Morgan had started removing layers until he was just in his swim trunks. I followed his lead, undressing down to my bikini. My skin looked so pasty compared to his caramel skin.

I grabbed the sunscreen from my bag, and started on my arms, chest, legs but of course, I can't each my call back properly. I looked over at Derek, with almost output dog eyes and he held out his hand. I have him the tube and turned around.

"You know, Walter should be going this guy you.." his suggestive tone caused heat to rush to my face as my eyes lifted to look at Spencer, who's eyes were glued to the pages of his book.

As he finished, he threw the tube down to my bag and ye inlled,

"Last one in is a rotten egg!"

Without hesitation we both ran for the water, laughing the whole way. With sand flicking up behind us as we ran, we reached the water in no time. We leapt over the small wave as we reached the water, the splash from the land was cool and refreshing. After a few more leaps, I dove in under a wave, losing sight of Derek.

The Cool water consumed my body. The waves in my hair, the current caressing and flowing over me. As I resurfaced, I couldn't see Derek. I assumed he went under too, and started looking in to the water, trading to see his figure.

With my head still looking to the water, a splash came from my side, Derek sat there unleashing a wave of splashes as I tried to deflect and return. Laughter erupting from both of us as we unleashed a wrath of splashes on each other. He finally stopped with a breathy laugh and so did I. He started to swim toward me and I couldn't help but splash him one last time, playback for what he'd started.

"Alright," he laughed, "You win." He made it over next to me. As our breathing solved, we both looked at Spencer, who's attention seemed to never leave his book.

"How can we get pretty boy in the water?" He suggested. We decided a plan and set it in to play, and I was the bait. I watched Derek swim far enough away and began acting. It needed to be convincing or Spence Rodney buy it.

I started waving my hand in the air and started yelling out for help. Using his name a couple of times in the process helped a lot. His head finally snapped up to see me, my head bobbing under the water a few times, and to see Derek no where near close enough to help. He jumped up, ripped off his shirt and used his feet to remove his shoes.

He ran for the water and jumped in. He made it close enough to me that he was commited to swimming and I started laughing. Derek, who had been watching, had made his way over too and joined in with my giggles. It wasn't long until Spencer had his arms wrapped around me, trying to get my head above water. I looked into his eyes and batted my eyelashes, a small smile coming over my lips.

"Sorry." I said quietly as Derek patted him on the back, telling him of our plan.

"if you guys wanted me to swim so bad, you should have just asked." Spencer said, releasing me and staring me down with betrayal in his eyes.

"C'mon Reid," Morgan started, "you wouldn't have come in if I had simply asked. And besides, didn't it feel good holding a beautiful woman in your arms?" His eyebrows wiggling as Spencer studied me, both of our faces going red at the suggestion.

Derek swam off with a 'catch me if you can' look on his face.

"Sorry for doing that to you." I apologised to Spencer.

"No, he's right. I wouldn't have come in if he had asked. I'm not much for swimming, not in open experts anyway. I much prefer somewhere I can see the bottom. Even though the percentage of shark attacks is pretty low, the chances of getting stuck in a rip are quite high. I don't think I'd put up much of a fight against one..." His voice trailed off as he watched Derek get further away.

"I'll save you if that ever happens." I said, winking at him. He laughed and started after Derek, I followed. The swim turned into more of a race rather than us trying to catch Derek.

We stayed at the beach for a few hours. I could feel my shoulders and nose burning. We had been having so much fun, I had forgotten to reapply sunscreen.

"Maybe we should get going," I suggested, "at least in to the shade?" I noticed Spencer's face was also red and I felt bad because he didn't even apply sunscreen. The three of us retreated to the shade.

I picked up my towel and patted myself dry. I slipped on my dress and we packed up our stuff ready to go. We stopped at the public showers to wash our feet before getting to the car.

"Who's still keen for icecream?" Derek asked as we reached the car. My sunburn wasn't 'burning' as of yet and I was still keen on icecream.

"I'm keen, but we shouldn't be too long. The sooner I get some cream into this bad boy, the better." I replied, pointing to my nose and shoulders, while putting my seat belt on. Derek looked over his shoulder to Spencer who simply said,

"Sure." With a shrug of his shoulders, pulling his book out of his bag.

The icecream shop wasn't too far away, so o didn't burger with the radio. Instead, Derek and I joked around with each other during the drive.

This one is longer to make up for the day's I've been missing. It's been sitting in my drafts for days because I keep getting distracted. I'm so sorry, please enjoy. :)

#spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid fluff

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ambivalent-anarchy · 4 years

Text

Peter Parker - SFW Alphabet

Masterlist

This is for MCU Peter (cuz some of the answers would be different if they were for others lol)

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

Peter loves affection, but he's got to work through all his nerves first. Just the idea of touching you sometimes is enough to make him start blushing and hiding into himself. But once he finally works through it, affection is always. He likes to receive it, but he LOVES to give it. He basically has all the love languages, but his major two are words of affirmation and physical touch.

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

Peter Parker is a good best friend...when he's there. He pays attention to all the little things and he always does right when it really counts. He'll geek out with you, help you no matter what, and try his best to make you happy no matter what. However if you don't know about him being Spiderman, it can be a real stress on the friendship, because he'll always seem distant. Once you know, it will be like everything falls into place. You finally understand why he does the things he does. Overall though, he's a stellar friend.

You'd probably become his friend because you sat next to each other in class, or you were already at the Avengers compound, and for whatever reason, the two of you immediately clicked.

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

PETER LOVES CUDDLES. And when Peter wants to cuddle, he wants to CUDDLE. He wants to squeeze you and never ever let go. Ngl he'll probably fall asleep while cuddling you because when he's cuddling he's in PEAK zen mode. It's probably the most relaxed that he can be.

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

Yeah he definitely wants to settle down, but he's scared to. It's not that he has commitment issues, it's just that he's so afraid and aware of the dangers of being with him. But if given the chance, he'd probably settle.

He's not completely terrible at cooking, May has definitely taught him a few things. But he's no chef. Let's be real he's probably had a bunch of moments of forgetting that something was in the oven. There will be lots of disasters. When it comes to cleaning, if pressed, he will clean. But don't be surprised when every room in the house is messed up again because of things that he'll "come back for later" that he never comes back for.

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

Oh he'd hate every bit of it, he'd dread over it for days and days. If Peter were to break it off, he'd do it face to face. He'd feel so bad about it, and if you start to cry he actually might comfort you in the midst of breaking up with you.

Best outcome, it was mutual and you guys end like friends. Worst outcome, he gets cold feet and actually just leaves you a note.

F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

He's surprisingly cool about commitment, given the dangers of his life. Of course, he's hesitant, but when this dude falls, he falls HARD. So hard to where he'll commit and not think twice about it.

He'd wanna get married whenever it hits him I guess. Not right away, but it's not like he'd have you waiting forever.

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

Physically- As gentle as the average teenage boy I suppose lol. Well a little bonus because of how anxious he is of hurting you. 5/10

Emotionally- Peter's more anxious boi than soft crybaby. He wouldn't need comfort on everything 24/7, because he can actually handle way more than people give him credit for, but it's when he's going through something really personal or really traumatic when he needs that reassurance that everything will be alright. 6/10

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

Peter doesn't mind hugs, but he's gotta be in the mood for one to really enjoy it, otherwise he's just going through the motions with it. Like if he's in the mood his brain is "oh my gosh you're hugging me this is beautiful you've graced me with your touch you wonderful specimen" but if he's not it's just like "oh... this is unexpected." I don't think he's super into hugs because I kind of like the headcanon that he's a bit of a germaphobe but I don't think he's super against them either. He's more in the middle where if it hits him, it hits him and if it doesn't, he doesn't want them.

He gets in the mood to hug like 20 times a day. You'll be beside him doing work and like out of nowhere. BOOM. Hugged. And then he just goes back to doing whatever he's doing except now he's blushing really hard while doing it.

Peter's hugs are really soft and quick (unless he's cuddling you, then it's really long). He just wants to feel your presence until he's satisfied. He's always really warm so that's a major plus.

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

Not right away. It'll be whenever it feels right. And I picture the first l-word drop going one of three ways:

1) Quirky - you guys will be chilling/making out/watching a movie and he'll find himself feeling really sentimental and emotional for no reason and he'll just turn and be like, "hey, I love you". And it sort of catches you off-guard and he sees your expression (whatever it may be) and he immediately starts blushing and stammering and he's like "I-i mean- no I don't!..I-i mean I do!... but like- not unless you want me too! I-in fact I'll hate you if you want me-" and you have to cut him off with a kiss before he gets too wound up and you softly smile back like "I love you too, weirdo."

2) Sweet - he's thought about this for a long time (and even maybe told May and Ned about it) and he really wants to tell you but he doesn't know how and you notice that's he's been weird around you and always looks like he has something else on his mind (like more than usual) and you're getting pretty worried and after awhile you can't take it anymore and you confront him about it probably at the lunch table or in the hallways after school or at his apartment (is there some mission you don't know about? Is he breaking up with you? Is he okay?) and he's stuttering alot and he finally has to pause and compose himself before pulling you aside and softly telling you how we feels.

3) Angsty - after a particularly intense night at patrol (definitely with a casualty) he's perched on the top of a building, staring out at New York, feeling like the biggest failure alive. He's run down with guilt and the tears just won't stop. Hands shaking, he dials your number and you pick up and immediately start asking if he's okay once you hear his trembling voice. "I messed up," he mumbles before he breaks down and sobs out the entire story to you. You try your best to comfort him as best you can through the phone, trying to tell him (with no avail) that it's not his fault and that he can't save everyone. It takes a while, but he finally calms down enough to clearly take a swing, but not before he says, "look..I want you to know that I love you... and I'll do everything I can to always protect you...I promise you that...I can't lose you," he sobs. Given the situation, neither one of you really registers that this is his first time saying it, but it makes it a dozen times easier to start saying it more often from now on.

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

Peter's jealousy is probably the average amount for a guy. He doesn't do much with it though. He'll just get really quiet and maybe freak out to Ned about it later. Very subtle looks and jaw clenches but other than that, he's fine. Unless you're really attentive, you probably wouldn't notice.

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

When he first started getting into the hang of first dates and stuff, his kisses were pretty fast and more like little pecks on the lips and stuff because he was always so nervous about messing up. But now that's he's gotten the hang of it, Peter's kisses (when he's not in a rush) are usually slow and sensual. He wants to do nothing but focus on you in that moment.

Well mostly on the lips of course. He'll lay his head on your shoulder alot when he's bored so every now and then when he's doing that he'll turn his head and give you a little kiss on your shoulder. If he's whispering in your ear in lunch he'll give a kiss on the cheek. Really though, once he gets the all his jitters out about it, he'll kiss you anywhere.

Peter probably likes to be kissed on the cheek and on the lips more than anywhere else

L = Little ones (How are they around children?)

Peter is amazing with kids. He'll always find a way to get along with them, and they usually warm up to his easy-going nature. He's a bit of a pushover when it comes to really nice kids so they usually love him because he'll give them anything. I'm not really one of talking about having kids, but he'd be a great father in the future. (But we're not in any rush for him to do that okay😂🤭)

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

Mornings are spent, well first of all waking up (obviously), cuddling, finishing whatever movie you were watching the night before, Peter probably rambling a bunch about whatever he finds himself wondering about, playing video games, and basically just relaxing before May tells you it's time for school.

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

Nights are spent goofing around with Peter and Ned at Peter's home or chilling with Peter which can literally be doing just about anything (making out, relaxing, deep talks, watching movies, doing homework, etc.). You can do practically anything with this guy.

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

Peter isn't the best about opening up, not because he wants to hide things, but because he isn't on the same wavelength as everyone else when it comes to "important" things to share. Like out of nowhere he'll find himself telling you something and you'll be like "woah I wish I you would've told me that earlier" and he'll just shrug and be like "oh I didn't know that was really important enough to tell". He doesn't tell anything slower or faster it's more like whenever it's on his mind or convenient for him to tell.

But for the most part, if you're important enough for you to know he's spiderman secret, he'll tell you pretty much anything.

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

Not easily angered at all. If anything he's more easily confused then angered. Like if you were trying to make him angry, he'd be more "why are you doing this🥺🤨?!" than "why are you doing this😡?!"

He'd only get angry easily if he'd been going through alot and a bunch of things have been building up, other than that, normally he's a pretty chill guy when it comes to losing his temper.

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

Oh he remembers practically everything you tell him. Even crap that you've probably forgotten about yourself, he knows. He notices every tiny thing, though he forgets the big stuff sometimes.

Ex: one day May asks him what he wants her to buy at the supermarket for breakfast and he says poptarts because he remembers that you like poptarts from that one time you briefly mentioned how much you liked them and he gets the kind that you like even though he doesn't really like it so that on the days you come over to his house you'll have something to eat...but like legit that same day he forgets that it's your anniversary😬

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

He has many favorite moments, one of them being your first date. He was so nervous, and he showed up late, and he'd regretted letting May choose his outfit, and he hated himself for not choosing the restaurant because it'd show that he wasn't assertive enough, and he was pretty sure he stepped in dog crap while he was running to the restaurant and he just knew that he was the worst date ever until finally he got there and you were totally just fine about it. You told him to relax and that everything was fine and you were just glad to have him there, which in turn made him relax. He looked into your eyes and knew there was absolutely nothing to worry about and he had an amazing time.

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

He's protective, but not suffocating. Like if he sees something happening to you from afar, he's not gonna step in unless you make it clear that you want him to. For the most part, he'll let you handle things yourself.

Peter's more like a "protect you from the unknown" kind of guy. He's gonna protect you from threats that you don't know are there, and that are probably much bigger than the two of you. Things like death or heartbreak. He'll probably break up with you to "protect" you, which, let's be honest, is complete stupid, albeit noble. Overall, he'll do anything in his power to keep you happy.

Peter doesn't really need protection more so... comfort. He knows the world he lives in. He can defend himself and all that, but at the end of the day, he just wants someone to tell him that everything's gonna be okay🥺

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

With Peter it's either extremely last minute but a little thoughtful (because he probably forgot) or extremely thought through with unbelievable effort. No in between. Truly a go big or go home type deal. Like for your birthday he's either getting you something he's researched on for months that he knew you'd love or you're getting a card that he bought from a Walmart on the way to school with a sloppily written love letter inside that he came up with off the top of his head. At the end of the day it's the thought that counts when it comes to Peter.

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

He thinks literally everything is his fault🙄. If something bad happens, and he feels that he could've done even the slightest thing to change it, he's gonna beat himself up about it no matter what what you try to say.

Also he's a really busy guy. So if you're one of those girls that needs to be kept or need your boyfriend there all hours of the day, Peter's probably not for you.

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

Not too concerned. Like of course he wants to look good or cool or whatever, but he's also learned to be pretty comfortable with himself (at least as far as looks go). He gets pretty insecure sometimes but for the most part he's okay with his looks. He'll totally do himself up if he's trying to impress someone though.

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

Depends on how close you've become. If he only liked you, he'll be okay. If he loved you, yeah, he'll feel incomplete without you. But only if you break up or if you're hurt or lost or something. If the two of you just haven't seen each other for a while he'll be fine. He's not that sentimental.

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

Peter has a skirt kink. Skirts. They make him weak. He found this out about himself when he started dating Gwen Stacy. He will practically break his neck to see you in a skirt.

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

Someone who has extremely poor hygiene. Peter's not the best at hygiene. He's definitely skipped brushing his teeth from time to time, but someone who's a complete slob? It'll just make him feel bad for you. It's a turn off for him. You won't get his affection but you will get his pity.

Someone obnoxious or aggressive. Peter, although anxious, is overall a pretty chill guy. If someone was just on 100 every time he saw them, ngl they'd probably weird him out. Like of course he wants someone with their own personality, but he wants someone with a level of coolness and obnoxious and aggressive people just aren't cool.

Z = Zzz (What are some sleep habits of theirs?)

Peter wants to hold something when he sleeps. When he was little, he used to sleep with a stuffed animal, and once he got older he broke out of it. But when he slept with you for the first time (sexually/nonsexually, doesn't matter) all that came rushing back. He'll hold you tightly in his sleep and won't let go unless you make him.

Hope you liked it!!😁😁😁

Tagging mutuals: @allegra-writes, @angelsparkers, @hey-its-grey, @spideyyeet, @sunkissedspidey, @underoosjae, @chaoticpete, @spidey-reids-2003, @thesherlockianavenger, @bubblebucky

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xxisxxisxxis · 3 years

Text

Gateway Drug | Part Ninety-Three [PT. 1]

Words: 3k

Warning(s): explicit language, drug abuse

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NIKKI

1987

I throw another drink back not long after yelling obscurities at Viv as she stomped out of VIP to leave and go home, between more lines of blow, a trip to the bathroom to get a fix and some drinks, we decide to take the party to Steven's new place.

"You guys just can't be too loud, though, got it?" He says as sternly as he can as we get inside and he fumbles for his key.

"Alright, alright, alright," I mumble, stepping inside, grabbing his bottle of Jack off the counter before getting comfortable on the floor by the window.

We all talk--as best we can--for a little while, Steven and the boys making some calls to get some dealers here, and the only thing on my mind is getting a potent fix, until I hear something...very faint, very familiar...very, very, familiar...I furrow my brows to focus more, ignoring the guys' laughter and voices, my eyes training on the wall opposite of me.

My subconscious puts it together before my conscious does, like smelling a blanket from a childhood home and immediately being taken back before your brain can quite grasp the feeling.

Multiple memories shrouding that sound of Vivian that only she can really pull off.

It doesn't take rocket science equation solving skills to put together why I'm currently hearing her soft, pretty moans carry on next door.

I'm pretty sure more members of Guns, aside from Steven, are staying here right now.

Apparently Stevie hears it not long after and slips into the next suite, where the sound is coming from, that's connected to his suite.

I don't hear it anymore after he gets back in here.

"Dealer's coming or what?" I ask Steven, my high starting to get blowed from the fact that my wife is next door on her back for someone who isn't me.

I'd be jealous if I weren't numb to it by now.

"They're all tied up, man." Steven tells me and I groan, thinking for a second.

An idea comes to mind that makes me want to bang my head against the wall, but I'm desperate and left with no option at this point.

"I know a guy," I mumble, dragging myself up to the phone in the little kitchen area, reluctantly dialing a number I never wanted to dial again.

It rings once...twice...three times…

"Hello?" He answers and I roll my eyes.

"'Sup man, it's Nikki." I reply, trying to put on my best "friendly" voice, even though it's making my blood boil that the bastard I could see myself killing is ultimately the one that's gonna be able to save the day.

"Hey, dude." He replies.

"Me and a few buddies of mine are out here at the Franklin Plaza Suites and need a few things." I rub the back of my neck.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

It's quiet, and he reluctantly breathes out.

"I'll see what I can do." I can hear the satisfaction in his voice that I'm having to call him.

Within the next forty minutes there's more people here than I'm comfortable with, groupies, and hangerson, and other drug adoring morons, and then my saving grace comes through the door once Steven lets him in.

Slash is already slipping into a Jack induced stupor. Sally came in a few minutes ago screaming at all of us guys for leaving her at the Cat House.

We didn't even realize we'd forgotten her.

She's in the bathroom, probably keeping herself in there to keep from starting an argument with Slash in front of everyone.

Robbin's on the phone with Laurie.

Apparently it's just in men's nature to get fucked up, call our wives, and profess our undying love for them despite the fact we cheat on them nearly every time we hangout with our friends.

I wonder what would happen if I went in there on her and Duff right now.

What would she say?

Probably nothing.

She'd just look at the floor and try not to cry, probably.

What would I do?

I know that I know what's going on between them, but if I actually walked in and saw them together, caught in the act…

I'd either be a pussy and cry over it, or kill them both--him first and make her watch, and then just slowly torture her or something. God, I'm fucked up. Even though I'm pretty sure being married to me is torture enough to her.

I know it's torture to me, too.

"Here dude," Sparkie hands me a syringe and a spoon, and I look at him, too out of focus to concentrate on getting it right.

"Fix me." I say to him and he scoffs.

"Okay, dude." He starts getting it ready and I look at that wall again. Staring at it, taking a sip of my drink.

Fucking Vivian.

Of course. Her. Of all the women I've hooked up with and dated in my life, she--the most harmless, at least in my dumbfuck mind when I first met her--is the one to screw me over like this.

And I've let her.

If I did what Vince does to Sharise and have that whole, "no hanging out with your boy friends without me" rule, this wouldn't even be an issue.

That's the problem. Somewhere along the way I loosened her leash a little too much and now she's chewed her way through it entirely.

"You look like you're in hell, you know," Sparkie tells me, fixing the tourniquet around my arm… "But that's okay, you're about to be in heaven in just a few seconds." He assures me.

I know he's right. I just need to hang on to that.

In just a few seconds, I'll be--

I hear Vivian, again, and I reach around my neck and grab onto her cross I've been wearing for weeks, now, squeezing it at the sting of the needle going into my skin.

I feel him shoot me up, my mind waiting to chase and catch the high that I just know is about to come.

My fingers slip from the crucifix, and I feel myself fall back before a weightless feeling washes over me.

Present

I keep rereading the damn paper, repeatedly, trying my hardest not to throw a fit...

Nikki Sixx and his wife, Vivian, recently confirmed that she is indeed pregnant issuing a simple and straightforward,"Yes, it's true," statement earlier this week through Nikki's manager, and--as speculated--her pregnancy is not with Nikki. Many fans and some friends of the couple are blown out of the water by this sudden turn of events, others who are familiar with the rockstar and his band but never really paid much attention to his personal relationships, are now curious as to who exactly Vivian Sixx is. Well, in an open letter, rumored to be intended for print in Rolling Stone, a few anonymous former roadies of Mötley Crüe--who partook on their Girls, Girls, Girls, tour in 1987--are here to introduce who they saw behind the scenes of flashing cameras and public sweet moments with husband Nikki.

"This is a letter to Mötley Crüe fans, we're a mere handful of people out of the many who witnessed monstrosities behind the scenes while on tour with the Crüe since Summer of 1987, none of which were caused by the band or any members, themselves, but one woman in particular. We had no reason to really bring any of this up, but in light of recent news, we are disheartened and angered of the betrayal against one of the four men who gave us an opportunity to live several months in our lives that will forever impact us in the best way known, and provide heartwarming memories by the dozen. This is not an attack on Nikki Sixx, especially given his past struggles with opioid addiction, alcoholism, as well as his abusive wife. The first time we met Vivian, she was polite and friendly, but very assertive. It was obvious it would be her way or no way, and often times she and Nikki would go back and forth with who was running things. It was obvious Nikki was unwell at times, whether it'd be hungover, sick from withdrawal or simply tired from a show the night before. Vivian would choose these times when he was at his most exhausted to pick fights with him. He'd tell her to go away or 'f**k off,' and she'd continue to verbally and mentally beat him down more than he clearly already was. When Rolling Stone came to interview the band shortly after the wild rumor Vanity started publicly, we were told Vivian had tried to physically attack the reporter working on the story, simply because he made the comment that Pepsi wasn't good for her. Small things like that would often set her off, leaving security, managers, and band members to try to dodge fists while pulling her off of her unsuspecting victim, who was typically Nikki. Many times we'd hear them arguing in the hotel rooms, dressing rooms, bathrooms, tour bus, etc., usually followed by sounds of what we can only describe as 'pitchy, hungry, pornstar moans' on her part--clearly using her body to get back in his good graces after wearing him down. After their fights, Nikki would always have a bottle of alcohol on hand, some kind of drug, and would keep to himself. Our comradery with him soon began to dwindle with each month because it was obvious she was beginning to suck the life out of him. He was more introverted overtime, and higher more often than he was at the beginning of the tour. It really got bad when Guns N' Roses came on tour for a month, because Vivian's attacks on him and the other members of Mötley Crüe, began to pop off as randomly and explosively as fireworks. We'd witness some foul exchange (brought on by Vivian) between her and Nikki backstage, either verbal or physical, nearly every night. People can talk down on the Crüe for being bad boys, but they've shown everybody that's helped them on tour, gratitude. All the wives and girlfriends that would come on that we'd offer food and drinks to would always express gratitude with a smile and a warm heart, but Vivian would always stay silent and cold towards us. She's a trashy, bitchy, whiney, hateful, spiteful, conniving, plotting python that now has her cold-blooded grasp around not only Nikki's neck, but also Duff's. Her game is to find the most well rounded guys while maintaining under her guise that she's a kind, Christianly woman, and see how far she can push them until they work themselves to death, literally, with trying to please her. We aren't surprised that she's pregnant, she probably video taped herself conceiving the damn thing and sent it to Nikki. We hope she did so it can be practice for her inevitable low-budget porn career when she runs out of rockstars to f**k and kill, as we've mentioned, she already sounds like one in the throws of passion. Anyway, Nikki, we're hoping you decide to kick her aside and start fresh. Duff, get a paternity test, dude. Crüe fans, don't let that red-headed bitch fool you."

"Who the hell is Page Six to give these bastards a platform in the first place, Doc?!" I snap.

"Nikki, I am handling it, I'm on it--"

"--You tell the L.A. Times and Rolling fucking Stone if they take this shit and run with it, too, I'm personally coming to their offices and fucking them up. Not the publications themselves, but the people trying to put this out there in print, individually." I hiss.

"Nikki, just--"

"--And who the hell--what roadies did this?!"

"I don't know, Nikki, but I'm trying my hardest to get it cleaned up." He assures me.

"'She's a trashy, bitchy, whiney, hateful, spiteful, conniving, plotting python that now has her cold-blooded grasp around not only Nikki's neck, but also Duff's. Her game is to find the most well rounded guys while maintaining under her guise that she's a kind, Christianly woman, and see how far she can push them until they work themselves to death, literally, with trying to please her'?!" I read that snippet, just so he can be reminded how fucked this is, trying my hardest not to start pitching a fucking fit.

"Fucking AJaxx isn't even cleaning this up! Press mongrels are gonna be humping these bastards legs for giving them sales for the next nine months!" I outburst.

"Sixx, don't worry about it, alright? It won't go past this shitty Page Six story, okay?"

"It's fucking horse shit." I ignore him, trying to keep my cool. "Fuck." I kick at the leg of the table, running a hand through my hair.

"I guess one decently positive thing is that Viv doesn't know about this," he says next and I shake my head a little, feeling a migraine starting to come on, strong.

I was tempted then to check myself out of rehab and 'handle' it myself, but decided it wouldn't be worth it. I hoped it would go away and it would all blow over eventually.

"Vivian, don't listen to any of it, alright? Me and you and everyone on that tour know damn well it wasn't just you being a bitch and us being the innocent victims." I say through the phone as Viv tries to calm down, her breathing shaky and ragged from crying so much.

"I know that but the fans and other people don't know that." She says to me, her voice quiet and tired. "I'm so embarrassed, Nikki." She adds. "I'm already embarrassed that everybody knows I cheated on you but now this whole thing…" she trails off and I feel guilt tug at my heart.

I don't know what the fuck to say.

I'm used to criticism from the press, but none of them have tore into me or any of the guys--except Vince after the Razzle accident--so personally and extensively as they're tearing at her.

Calling me a devil worshipper and saying my music is shitty gets annoying and frustrating and even infuriating at times, but attacking my wife and calling her a low budget porn star and telling me to kick her aside?

Fuck that.

"I'm sorry, Viv. I really am." I assure her, honestly, closing my eyes when I hear her stifle a little sob out. "Where are you at right now?" I ask.

"Duff wanted me to meet his family." She tells me. "I'll be back Saturday."

I'm relieved she actually has a reason for not being here, but I'm also hurt that she didn't give me a heads up. But I don't want to talk about it right now. I think she's been punished enough today.

"Okay...you didn't show yesterday and I was just worried." I admit.

"I know, it was just a spur of the moment thing. He asked me last week and I didn't think it'd be an issue."

"Oh."

I glance around and let out a breath.

"I, um, I'm gonna go. I got a group thing with the guys at 3:00." I tell her.

"Okay."

"Are you gonna be okay or do I need to break out and kick someone's ass?" I ask her, half-joking, and she laughs, making me smile.

"I'll be okay." She tells me.

"I'll see you next week, Sixx."

I can practically hear the smile in her voice when she says, "see you next week."

We hang up and I rub my lips together, taking a few deep breaths before heading to where me and the guys meet with Amber three times a week now.

Tommy and Vince are waiting for me, and I plop down beside them, leaning forward, elbows on my knees, hands running over my face…

"Psst," Tommy nudges me and I look at him as Vince gets up to grab a cup of coffee.

"What?" I ask him, and he puts his finger over his mouth.

"You seen the shit they're on Vivian for?" He whispers and I furrow my brows, looking around.

"The room is empty except us, dude, why are you--"

"--Shh," he says.

"Why are you whispering?" I finish my sentence.

"Because they probably have this motherfucker bugged out the ass." He replies, glancing around again. "I'm thinking of breaking outta here, man." He whispers very, very quietly.

"You do know we're not being held here by legal obligation, right? They won't chase us down and have the cops on us if we just check ourselves out." I point out and he furrows his brows a little.

"Oh."

"Why do you wanna 'break out'?" I ask.

"I miss Heather and my dogs and I wanna be able to be there Viv, dude. She fucking needs us right now and we're, like, over an hour away--disconnected from shit. I mean we wouldn't even know what the fuck was going on in the world if Doc wasn't keeping us in the loop, ya know?"

I think about it for a second.

"We're over a month into our three month stay, dude." I state. "We can't just throw in the towel, now."

"I don't mean ditch it and stay gone. I just mean check out for a few days, go back home, see what all is going on and come back." He shrugs.

It seems oddly appealing.

Way too appealing, actually.

"I don't know, Tommy…" I rub the back of my neck.

"I already talked to Vince about it and he's down."

"Of course he is."

"And we wouldn't be doing it tomorrow or anything. I'm thinking next week."

"Does Doc know?" I ask.

"Fuck Doc." He scoffs.

"Agreed." I nod, chuckling.

"So, you in or not, man?"

"Just for a few days?"

"Just for a few days."

"Then we're all coming back in?"

"Like we never left to begin with."

"No drugs, no parties, not even alcohol."

"Just spending time with our families and then back to the grindstone." He states.

"...I'm in."

...You know when you're on a shitty diet, eating boring, tasteless, "healthy" food, and then decide you've been stuck to your diet long enough that you can have one slice of cake because you're disciplined enough to control yourself? And now, two years later, you're still telling yourself you'll get back on your diet because after that slice of cake you just said, "fuck it," and never thought about forcing yourself to eat lettuce again? Let's just say leaving rehab prematurely works the same damn way.

#gateway drug #nikki sixx #nikki sixx x oc #nikki sixx fanfiction

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romansrgn · 3 years

Text

ch. 8

"I can't believe we just did that." Braelin shook her head in disbelief.

Dante looked down at his naked girlfriend."You regret what happened?"

"No, of course not. I'm just surprised that this was the place we decided to, you know—"

"Make love?"

Braelin raised a brow, surprised at how intimate it sounded. "Is that what we did?"

Dante thought for a moment, and honestly, he wasn't sure. Don't get him wrong, he slept with his fair share of women and could honestly say what he and Braelin just did felt different than the night of fucking he's grown accustomed to with the previous women he had been with, But at the same time, it felt that it was too soon to call what he and Braelin did "making love." Especially since he knew she had some unresolved feeling for her ex despite the constant declarations to him about wanting to see where they could go.

"I think you and I need to put some clothes on before someone walks in and sees you naked, and I'll have to kill them." he kissed the tip of her nose.

Braelin rolled her eyes and stood up."Right because seeing me naked with a swollen belly is every man's fantasy."

Dante gave her a look, "You're only saying that because you don't see yourself the way I do. I just had you and already want seconds."

Braelin popped her hand on her hip. "Seconds?"

"You're right; Sixths is more like it." He smirked, burying his head in her neck. He loved that she smelled like him.

Braelin kissed him lightly on the lips. "You didn't even take any pictures."

"You underestimate me, baby. I managed to get twenty shots before getting in between those sweet thighs of yours."

Braelin laughed. "Ok, this is not a story I'm going to tell the kids once they're old enough to see the pictures themselves."

Dante snorted, shaking his head. "Sex? Check. Photoshoot? Check. How about dinner at any restaurant of your choosing?"

"Didn't we do this backward?"

Dante shrugged. "We can still have sex afterward."

Braelin lightly shoved him. "Ass."

Roman looked over his shoulder at the hand that was placed there.

"Don't be too disappointed. It's only your wife."

Roman sighed, "Do you want to keep doing this? I asked you to meet me here so we could talk, not argue."

Janelle nodded, "I'm here, and like I said, despite your infidelity twice. I'm still willing to work out our marriage."

Roman remained quiet after hearing that.

Janelle wasn't sure what she was doing. She's never been the type of woman to be ok with her man fucking around on her, and she still wasn't. But like she said before. She and Roman had too much history, and they've been through way too much to throw it all away. "I'm not trying to make this difficult. I want everything to go back to the way things used to be."

"I need to do something I should've done a long time ago and be honest with you. Do I still love you? Yes. Do I love still love, Braelin? Yes, and honestly, even after all these years, I still haven't stopped. What happened between Braelin and I shouldn't have happened, but I don't regret it. But what I do regret is how this is all affecting you, and that's why I think we should get a divorce."

Janelle smiled sadly. "I keep telling myself I owe myself more than what I'm giving right now. I'm trying to hold onto something so good and beautiful at one point because despite where we are now, our love was something to fight for, and I thought you felt the same."

Roman nodded, "I do. I did, and that's my point. I need to figure things out, and it's not fair to you or anyone else if I stay in a marriage that I swore before God that I would be in forever. When in reality, I have never done right by you."

"But You think you're doing right by Braelin? You're not. The three of us have been in this entanglement since college. But like fools, we all participate in it because, for whatever reason, we convinced ourselves that you were the right man for us."

Roman snorted, "You never wanted to work on our marriage. You didn't want me to go back to Braelin."

Janelle shrugged. "Despite what I feel about her and the situation. Neither one of us deserves to be led on by you."

"That's not what I'm doing."

"No, you're playing the field. Rounding the bases to see which girl you want to play with for a little while, but then you'll get bored, and then, of course, history will repeat itself."

Roman chuckled darkly. "Yea, and that never stopped you from spreading your legs for me every chance you got either."

Janelle slapped Roman hard across the face. "I was stupid to think you were worth my effort, let alone the time I've wasted on making this work. I wanted to keep you because I love you, but despite that, I realize I'm not in love with you. I know that now because no woman who could truly love themselves would be willing to be a second choice for a son of a bitch like you."

Roman pointed at his wife. "That's what I always liked about you, Janelle. You never hold back, and I appreciate that, so let me return the favor." He stood up, towering over her wrapping a strand of hair around his finger. "Even though we had our good times. You were never her. You will never be her."

Janelle snorted, removing his hand from her hair. "Right now, you'll never be Dante. You remember him. Braelin's boyfriend. You know the same boyfriend she fucked in the middle of her maternity shoot."

Roman's large hands flexed, and his eye twitched.

"Of course, you didn't know that, so let me shed a little light on the subject. According to my good friend, who happens to be the assistant to the makeup artists who did Braelins makeup. Those two were too busy fucking each other's brains out to notice that the building wasn't empty. But I can't blame her. Dante is fine as—"

Hearing enough, Roman walked off, leaving Janelle alone.

Janelle smiled. She would gladly give Roman his divorce; although she did love him, she no longer wanted his cheating ass. She can admit that to herself, but she will be damn if she allowed Roman to get his happy ending after all the pain he caused her. It was one thing to cheat once but twice and then got the woman he cheated with pregnant. He can get the fuck out of here with that.

But was Roman alone in this? No, of course not. It takes two to create a child, and in Janelle's mind, Braelin was guilty as sin and should also pay for her part in this betrayal. But she wasn't going to play the role of the wicked ex-wife. She was going to show Roman that he can't snap his fingers and get everything he wants. So her plan was simple. Give Braelin the happy ending she always wanted, and naturally, it wasn't going to be with Roman.

Roman ignored questioning stares as he walked past them. He immediately dialed Braelin, "Answer the phone, damn it."

"Hey, Rome, you ok?" Naomi asked, immediately noticing the tension in his frame. "Is Braelin ok?"

Roman glared at her while hanging up the phone. "Where's your cousin?"

Naomi raised a brow at his tone, "Probably busy since she didn't answer your call, and with the way your attitude is right now, I'm glad she didn't."

Roman snorted, "Right, because I'm the big bad wolf."

"More like an indecisive fuck boy with good intentions. You don't want to hurt Brae, but somehow you always do. You two are friends who settled on co-parenting, but somehow that's not enough for you. You need to control every aspect of her life because you want to be her life."

"That's unfair and not true. I want what's best for her, even if it's not me. You know that."

"I know that you want to believe that, but your actions speak louder than those pretty little words. You have gone above and beyond to insert yourself into things that don't concern you. You two are not together anymore. Move on."

Roman knew Naomi was right, and despite his actions, he wanted Braelin to be happy, and with Dante, she was delighted. But he couldn't help but covet what he knew was his "Let me ask you something. If you and Jimmy broke up and after everything you two have been through together, would you accept him being happy with someone else? You would find it easy to sit back and watch someone else take your spot. Just like that."

Naomi shook her head. "You know Janelle is actually in this predicament, and I bet to you she seems like a real bitch for being hurt that you want to start over with the mother of your children. But the truth of the matter is you two are the real villains of the story, not her."

"At Least you're honest."

Naomi closed her eyes before turning around to see her cousin standing there. "I didn't mean to--"

"Yes, you did, and you're right. I know I can't take back what I did, and for that, I'm sorry because our actions caused someone else to get hurt in the process, not once but twice. I fucked a married man and got pregnant with his children. It was low down, and as a woman, it was disrespectful as hell. I'm the bad guy, not her."

Janelle clapped her hands, seemingly having heard the entire exchange. "That's the first step to redemption. Accountability, but it doesn't absolve you for what you did."

"It doesn't, and I can't say sorry enough to you, and I know that you can't forgive me--"

"It's not that I can't. I won't forgive you, Braelin. That's the difference. You willingly opened your legs for a married man not once but twice, and because of this affair, you got pregnant knowing I was having issues."

Roman opened his mouth to interject, but Braelin held up her hand, stopping him from commenting any further. She didn't need to be protected from this, especially since she knew she was the one in the wrong.

Braelin bit down on her bottom lip. "I didn't know." she defended. "I found out what was happening with you after I found I was pregnant. That's why I didn't want to say anything because it would be another slap to the face, and I couldn't hurt you like that."

"It's too late, Braelin," Janelle yelled. "I'm hurt either way, and the worse thing about this whole thing is that I'm not even surprised Roman cheated with you because this was always our favorite dance. The three of us. But, what I was surprised about was how weak-minded you still are when it comes to him." Janelle pointed to Roman. "And at first, we could blame it on how young and stupid we were, but the truth is only one of us is still stupid," she said before walking off, leaving Naomi, Roman, and Braelin alone.

"I didn't know you were— that she was." Naomi didn't know what to say to her cousin. She didn't attend for her talk with Roman to end with her cousin being dragged in front of what she can now see as the entire fucking locker room. At some point during the argument, they must've gotten the attention of some of the other superstars, "Maybe we should go somewhere else."

Braelin was numb. She came to Roman to ask what the emergency was since he had called her and texted her ten times. The only reason she didn't answer the phone was that she was already in the building. "No, I'm fine. I just wanted to let you know that I did a maternity photoshoot today.' Braelin looked around the arena of people who still occupied the room.

Roman tensed. "Really, and you didn't think I would like to attend?"

Braelin furrowed her brows at the question. "What are you—" her phone rang. "Hey, baby," she said, looking over at Roman and Naomi before excusing herself.

Naomi ran a hand through her hair. "I never attended for anyone to find out like this. I pushed too far and—"

Roman didn't like that their business was now on full blast, but he could admit it was nice to be open and honest with everything, and it made what he had to do next that much easier. Janelle wasn't the bad guy, but she wasn't the victim Naomi was trying to paint her out to be. He knew she had some tricks up her sleeve, and he'd be damn if he allowed her to interfere with him and his family "Yea, maybe a little. But Janelle is up to something."

"Janelle is not my concern, and considering all the shit you already have to deal with, she shouldn't be yours either."

Roman snorted, "It's hard to tell whose side you're on these days."

"I'm on the side I've always been on, and that's Braelin."

"Oh yeah? It seems like you're more on Janelle's side, and I'm not sure why that is. You and Janelle aren't friends, but from the way you're acting, you two have been friends for years. Braelin is the one that needs you right now. So instead of throwing what we did back in her face every second, maybe you should try to remember she needs you right now." Roman said, walking off. He had a meeting with Paul Heyman. He'll talk to Braelin later.

"I'm glad everything went alright with Tata. Send him my love, ok."

"I will. We're still on for tonight?"

Braelin grinned. "Of course. I should be done here before 9. They don't have much for me so that it might be sooner, and then I'm all yours."

Dante liked the way that sounded but deep down inside; he could never get himself to believe it. "You promise?"

Braelin heard the double meaning behind his question, and now more than ever, she wanted to make that promise to him, "I promise, I'm all yours. I'll see you tonight, baby."

Naomi peaked her head into the room once she heard her cousin end her phone call. "I want to apologize to you."

Braelin stuffed her phone in her pocket. "For what? None of this is your fault."

"It's not, but I don't want you to feel like I'm not on your side. Because I am. I've just been on edge since after Jimmy's surgery."

Braelin sighed, "I know that you've been through a lot lately, and of course, I know you're on my side, Nao. But it just feels like you're punishing me sometimes."

Naomi grabbed Braelin's hand. "I'm not punishing you. Yes, I'm-- I'm upset that this happened. Honestly, I knew what kind of hold you and Roman had on each other. I wish that I intervened before things could get more complicated for you."

Naomi loved Roman like a brother, but after Roman broke things off with Braelin to give his relationship with Janelle another chance, she witnessed Braelin's heartbreak live and in color. If it weren't for Jimmy talking her down, she probably would've killed Roman for what he did to her cousin.

"I don't need--"

"You almost stopped wrestling after you lost him, remember that?" Naomi whispered heatedly.

"I remember, Naomi. It wasn't my finest moments, and I sure as hell don't want to relive them. It hurt. It still does. It's why I'm scared as hell to give my heart to Dante out of fear that he's going to do the same thing Roman did to me."

"Then you need to be honest with him. You're making promises to him that are going to be impossible to keep because you can't stay away from your ex, and now that you're pregnant with his children, it's going to be even harder to keep that much-needed distance."

Braelin whipped the loan to tear that rolled down her cheek. "How did I manage to fuck things up this badly? I didn't want to hurt anyone, but I ended up hurting everyone."

Naomi laughed. "It's your talent, I guess."

Braelin pinched Naomi. "Bitch."

"Just think about what I said, ok."

Braelin nodded. She suddenly wanting to see Dante now more than ever.

Paul Heyman stood at the end of the table, eyeing both Roman and Vince McMahon. "I think this partnership could be beneficial to everyone."

Roman nodded. "A heel turn is unexpected, and it could be what I need to make things more interesting."

Paul grinned, "I agree, so what do you say? Do we have a deal?" He said, extending his hand.

Roman eyed the hand in front of him for a while before shaking it. "We have a deal, and since Jimmy's injured. I want Jey along for the ride."

Vince looked almost skeptical by the idea, but he trusted Paul and Roman to take this new storyline to new heights. "Fine, I'll leave you to it."

"So, here's what I think we should do--"

"We need to involve Braelin somehow," Roman said, interrupting Paul.

Paul blinked. "What?"

"You heard me. Since we're introducing this new heel turn and turning it into a family affair, I think it's only fair to involve not only Jey but Brae."

Paul Heyman had no issue involving more of the company's top talent but last heard, Braelin was close to retiring. "Umm, sure. But I thought she was retiring. "

Roman took a sip of his water. "She was, but now she has a reason not to."

Paul looked confused. "Explain."

"It's simple. She can't wrestle while pregnant, and since she's carrying my children, it'll add more layers to the story while giving her a reason to stick around."

Paul wouldn't call himself a manipulative man in the slightest. He was a smart businessman that knew how to make any situation work in his favor in the name of good content. However, that didn't mean he was against it, or he didn't know it when he saw it and if you asked Paul what Roman Reigns was doing was a manipulation at his finest. But whatever worked, and if Roman wanted Braelin a part of the story, then that is what's going to happen. "Whatever the tribal chief wants. The tribal chief gets."

Roman smirked, "That's what I like to hear."

AN: I know it’s been a while but I wanted to start the new year off right. Thanks to everyone who still reads and comments on this story on both here and wattpad. Stay safe and happy reading!

taglist: @queenofthearchitect @calicina @never-sawft-princess @5dsinyourdirection @fancybarbii @aria725 @lustyromantic @kai1996en @angelbaby908

#roman reigns #roman reigns fan fic #wwe fanfiction #wwe smut #wwe #roman reigns fanfiction #key writes #ghostin

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