#i had big plans for this month!!!! but it also is coinciding with me losing my creative motivation so

[ofmdee]

happy mermay!!!!!!!!

🧜‍♂️

#mine #ts4 #sims 4 #the sims 4 #simblr #sims #ofmd #gentlebeard #ofmd sims #i had big plans for this month!!!! but it also is coinciding with me losing my creative motivation so #its gonna be much lowerkey than i had intneded #which is a bummer but also what i need i think #mermaids

[depravitycentral]

Hi, I also gotta say that the uvogin fanfic is amazing I also really enjoyed reading that <3.

It was actually a good plan but why the heck did he even print out chats in the first place and kept them in the drawer under the TV? Like if it were his room ok but in the livingroom? Was it maybe his plan that the reader finds it on their own so he could have a reason to stop the pretend and then the reader would blame themselves?

(The fic is question is Partnership)

Ooh, I hadn't even considered the last part of that! That would've been a really good ending - my stand-by for fics is to make endings leading into shock and then sex or a post-sex haze; I am a creature of habit. (Mostly, I just saw the word count was getting to five number places and was worried no one would want to read something longer.)

But genuinely, you finding the evidence of his obsession was an accident - one Uvogin sincerely, honestly hoped wouldn't happen. And you're obedient, he knows that - even if you have a more rebellious streak in you, he's big. He's scary. He's strong. He told you not to snoop. He was sure enough that he'd be willing to bet his own life that you wouldn't dare disobey him or his rules - he knows your body language well enough from all that stalking to be able to read you like a book, and he knew from the moment that blindfold came off that he had you in the palm of his hand.

But then you did the unexpected. You rebelled. You disobeyed.

You were bad, and while he's initially mad at you, frankly he's more surprised than anything - a little impressed and proud of you, even. It fucks up all his plans, of course, but it's nice to see you growing a backbone, even if it is just against him.

And he did have plans, really - plans to slowly grow on you, to continue getting your favorite foods and 'accidentally' starting a new series or set of movies - and oh? What's this? They're your favorites? What a coincidence!

He was going to slowly ease you into the idea of intimacy; a hand lingering on your shoulder here or there, catching you when you fall (he sent a small burst of aura your way that had you losing your balance, but that's just a trivial detail), scoffing at you and telling you that you're holding that knife all wrong, let me show you how to really cut something. (He'll stand behind you, his chest flush against your back, arms grabbing your own and guiding you through the chopping motion, the extra cologne he'd spritzed on earlier in the day making your nose tingle and your cheeks feel warm.)

(And then, once you're asleep that night, he'll fuck his fist so hard it nearly breaks.)

He had a plan, yes, but he's mature enough to realize that it's all his fault that it didn't pan out (well, maybe a bit your's, too, because you'd decided to grow a pair and break one of his cardinal demands). He'd been stringant with keeping all evidence in check - away and secure so that you wouldn't find it. Maybe, with time, he'd show you all the things he's collected over the months he's been watching you - maybe, but only if the Stockholm Syndrome was in full swing, if you were willingly kissing him, instigating sex or even whispering those three little words with honesty. Maybe he would've, just to show you how much he cared - how much he still cares.

But to answer your question, nonnie, the reason why he has the chats printed out is because he wrote them while tapping into your phone line. Shalnark didn't mind doing his buddy a favor, and getting the bug planted wasn't too difficult. And it would go off at the most random times - when he's out, traveling for Troupe business, he doesn't have a computer or anything on him, and a scrap piece of paper and a pen are his only tools. He records what you're saying because everything that comes out of your mouth feels important, like it's something he needs to remember, like it's something that might give him more insight into who you are - another layer of you, maybe even one that only Uvogin ever gets to see.

And of course, once it's written down, he can't just throw it away. He has to keep them - just in case something you said becomes relevant. Just in case you mention something about him - the large man who passed you on the street today, but you were too busy with your nose buried in your phone to notice. The large man who was at the other end of the aisle in the grocery store as you agonized over which flavor of ice cream to buy with your limited budget.

And as for the placement of where he keeps all these scribbled records of your every phone call and interaction, well, it's really a no brainer. It was the only spot that wasn't already full with something relating to you.

Every cabinet, drawer, closet, shelf, nook, and cranny in his apartment is full of you you you. He's got everything his greedy hands could get ahold of - your underwear, chapstick, button, and bandaid, of course, but there's more. It ranges from things that are less disturbing - normal, even, like a pair of earrings or a hairbrush - to things that are just a little more suspicious. (Like your old toothbrushes - yes, plural - or your haribrush.) Things that could be considered totally understandable (if not a big extreme) and not creepy if you and Uvogin were actually a couple.

And then, of course, there's the more intimate items, the things you had the displeasure of stumbling upon - your panties, for example, and if you were to peruse through the cabinets below the sink in the bathroom you'd find all sorts of menstrual supplies, with your favorite brands, the right products for your flow, even the dinky menstrual cup you'd tried on a whim because a friend recommended it. (Yes, you'd thrown it away because it'd been too messy when you took it out and yes, Uvogin searched through your trash bag just to find it.)

He may come off as this big, imposing, simple, one-track-minded man, but he's not. At least, not only those things. Uvogin is smart - and as most yanderes with brains tend to do, his obsession teeters much more on the side of collecting information about you than you'd expect. He's just honestly curious about you in every way - he's clingy and needy and wants you, so badly that it hurts, and collecting your things was a way to help alleviate some of that ache before he could properly be with you.

So while he didn't want you to find any of his stolen goods, frankly, it was inevitable - any storage space (except the room he houses you in - just because he'd be tempting fate if he asked you not to root through anything in the modest closet or drawer set he's assigned to you) contains evidence and proof that Uvogin didn't just randomly get stuck with you. It was all purposeful, planned, calculated - and you, poor sweet little you, just had the misfortune of finding that out much too early.

Ignorance really is bliss, isn't it?

#also thank you for the praise! I'm glad you enjoyed it :) #_uvogin #_lee talks fics #_hxh #_partnership #yandere hxh #yandere hunter x hunter #yandere uvogin

[vexicwrites]

The Strange Case of Dr. Wells & Mr. Thawne

Summary: the start of what may be a series of AUs examining the concept of Eobard framing Harrison rather than killing him

Warnings: none

Harrison didn't know much about the man who had been following him. He'd assumed, initially, that it was only a coincidence that he saw him so often - odd, but not malicious nor intentional. Starling City was, after all, only so big and if they both lived in the same area they were bound to see each other every once in a while. Then he'd gotten some notoriety and he began to wonder if the blond man was a stalker, an obsessed fan - though, that didn't seem right either. He'd been around before the fame and accolades and...he never did anything, Harrison had never even caught him glancing his direction. It really would have seemed entirely coincidental if it weren't for the fact that for the past 15 years every one of his worst days had coincided with a glimpse of the man, even after he'd moved to Central City, too upset by his wife's death to stay. Hell, he was pretty sure he remembered seeing him the day of the car accident that had killed Tess.

Harrison wasn't superstitious but he also wasn't blind, that damn man was a constant silent presence like a foreboding omen. He'd even been in attendance the night the particle accelerator had been turned on - the night everything had gone so horribly, horribly wrong. But, not every visit coincided with a tragedy, at least not that he could see. The man had also been present in the hospital when Harrison had seen Barry Allen code and spoken to Detective Joe West. He'd only seen a glimpse of the blond man but Harrison, perhaps foolishly, had decided that he wasn't going to let this harbringer of misfortune cause anyone else to suffer and convinced the detective to let Barry be taken to S.T.A.R. Labs where he and whatever team he had left could help.

Maybe he should have said something to someone, perhaps he could have prevented any future trouble, but at the time he truly hadn't thought it anything worth bothering Barry or the CCPD about. He had no reasons to bring it up, the man had never actually done anything that he could see, his suspicions were completely irrational. Until they weren't.

The last thing Harrison had expected upon arriving downstairs was Cisco standing in front of what appeared to be The Reverse Flash in the containment field he'd built months ago but in moments, the man in yellow had vanished - a hologram. Cisco looked hurt and betrayed when he turned to face Harrison. Harrison didn't have to be a genius to put the pieces together.

"Cisco-" He started but Cisco cut him off.

"You're him," Cisco said, quiet anger coloring his voice. "You're The Reverse Flash."

Harrison sighed, trying to keep his own emotions under control. "It certainly looks-"

"You killed Barry's mom, you killed all those people! Why?" Cisco asked, voice raising slightly.

"Cisco, I know that you're upset, but I need you to calm down-"

Harrison wheeled forward and Cisco automatically scrambled back, onto the containment unit, afraid. Harrison hadn't expected that, he'd never expected to see such a look on any one of his team's faces.

"No," Cisco said, slamming the on button for the unit. "No. This ends now. I'm not playing your game anymore, you're not using me or Caitlin or Barry ever again!"

Harrison paused, looking over the scared younger man critically, surveying the situation.

"You altered the polarity of the containment field. Smart man. That would probably stop me if I was The Reverse Flash but I am not. You have the wrong man." Harrison said, beginning to lose his patience.

"Stop lying! We know, we all know!"

Harrison wheeled forward again and heard the faint click of the safety on a gun being turned off to his left. Eddie or Joe, maybe both, were present - good information to have. Barry was probably near as well. Harrison wondered how long they'd been planning this setup.

"I promise you that I am not lying to you and I am willing to do whatever you need for you to trust me again - you and Caitlin and Barry. All of you." Harrison said calmly before reversing his wheelchair and wheeling towards the elevator, adding; "by the way, you can come out now."

"You can't just leave!"

Barry. Harrison paused in front of the doors with a resigned sigh though he knew he didn't have to, Barry could easily catch up to him. He couldn't imagine how much time and resources had been wasted on trying to trap him - he was frustrated for himself and on Barry's behalf.

"I'm not going anywhere but back to my lab, Mr. Allen." Harrison said, turning his chair to face the young speedster. "I have work to do but if you are so inclined you are welcome to accompany me. In fact, I'd prefer it if you did, I'd like to see what led you all to the conclusion that I am The Reverse Flash."

He could see the indecision on Barry's face and he felt a wave of sympathy wash over him. It had to be difficult, to be so sure that someone you trusted with your very life was the one trying to destroy it.

"I'm not asking you to trust me again," Harrison said quietly. "I'm asking you to give me the chance to earn that trust back. To prove to you that I am not the man in yellow."

He waited, hoping the young man would give him a chance. He saw the conflict in Barry's hazel eyes, the way his jaw set in silent anger and frustration, but eventually he nodded.

"Fine." He said, gesturing for Harrison to enter the elevator.

Harrison did so, feeling somewhat relieved. He'd have to start from square one with the team but at least he still had a chance.

#harrison wells #og harrison wells #eowells #eobard thawne #reverse flash #cisco ramon #barry allen #the flash #the flash cw #cw the flash #vexic writes

[fastcardotmp3]

Hi hi!! I just recently finished Metamorphoses and have been thinking about it for a week solid. Just. Incredible. I’m talking about it with irls, that’s how much I’ve been THINKING.

I had a question relating to the epilogue; Eddie mentions that he and Steve broke up at one point but eventually came back together. What do you think was the cause for that official break? And what precipitated their getting together again? (I’m assuming the pauses that Eddie and Steve take in the fic are not the “official” breakup)

Thank you so much for sharing your work with us, and for putting so much love into what you do. ❤️

hi hello!!! I'm honored it's hung around in your brain that long thank you so much for your kind words😭but honestly what a coincidence because I am actually ALWAYS thinking about that universe 🥹💚

I would love to answer your question because the only reason I didn't include any of that in the actual epilogue is it would've screwed with the pacing So Much to go on a tangent like that (in an admittedly already too-long epilogue), but I've definitely thought about it!

Under the cut because it's me 🐍

The thing about where they're at by the end of the post-S4 timeline in that fic is they've grown and changed and matured a lot during that year and a half, right? They've learned so much about themselves and each other and where they fit, but they're also still so fucking young.

They're young enough that there's still just so much space for growing and changing to keep happening, and that's not an easy thing to always stick together through even when you're not prone to mental health relapses like these guys are.

They started working towards a proper Relationship with the capital R while they were still on kind of rocky ground healing wise, and no matter how solid they feel by chapter 10, someday they're going to be 25 and things will be changing again, they'll be changing again.

All of a sudden they're moving to a new city for each other and leaving behind the only place they've ever known each other and trying to find their footing all over again.

All of a sudden Eddie's changing career paths and making plans for a future he never thought he'd have and Steve is leaving behind all his repair-work clients in Indy and having to start fresh in Chicago.

All of a sudden there's a great big world outside of their door that's bigger than just them, and sure, that's always been the case, but maybe they got so comfortable in their bubble that going outside of it is as exciting as it is difficult.

There's so much still to learn about themselves, and they're both deeply imperfect, right? For Eddie there's the anxiety of losing his sense of self again and the ungrounded nature of that; for Steve there's maybe some lingering fear or even resentment for what it had felt like the last time Eddie decided to get up and go.

It's not just one thing, it's bigger than them just like the world, and it's Steve, ultimately, who decides he's scared enough of all the big upheavals that he can't be attached to Eddie like that right now, trapped in a tiny apartment together with nowhere for all the complexity to go.

Steve says he can't take care of himself while he's waiting for the other shoe to drop on Eddie's end of things, and so he walks away before Eddie can.

It's a break in the maturity, a taking over of old fears, but it makes sense, and even if it lasts less than 3 months in total, maybe it's good for them too.

Good to realize that they do exist outside of one another, that they don't need each other the way they once thought they did, but that they want each other all the same.

That it's no longer about not being able to stand without one another, and instead it's about standing by his side, holding his hand, even though he's got steady footing on his own two feet.

Steve is the one to walk away, and this time? It's Eddie who comes to him.

It's Eddie who says, I don't think I ever really grasped what it was like for you when I ran. I don't think I ever really apologized. I'm sorry.

It's Eddie who lays it all out on the table and makes it clear, I don't need you to fix me anymore, I just like holding your hand.

They still have so much space to grow and change, but the thing is, three months apart helps them realize maybe they're capable of doing it together.

Maybe it doesn't have to be earth-shattering every time.

Maybe it can last, as long as they keep working for it, wanting it, choosing it.

Just because they survived the end of the world doesn't mean they'll automatically be able to survive all the small stuff too, they know now, but they have the fight in them. The want.

And that's what really matters.

#ask #dot thought #metamorphoses fic #thank you for asking i could literally talk about these dudes all day 😭 #kindnesses

[cooganbegs-blog]

Wow! What are couple of weeks it’s been.

Week 1: AWS Roundtable in Sydney. I almost bailed at the last minute I was shitting myself! Sucked it up and it ended up being a really great evening. Introduced myself to the CPO of Cuscal, one of our key partners. Turns out she’s only 3 months into the job and super keen to meet up with me!!! ME!!! The rest of the week working in my amazing product coaches offices in Surry hills. I realise I do really like time with people! Remote working is amazing but time with people is actually really beneficial!!

Week 2: Three days of Agile Australia 2023 in Sydney. Wow I came away like a puppy with three tails and so much potential to improve what we do in our teams. Having heeded advice that I need to be careful with bringing people along with change I suggested to the engineering leads and CTO one change to our fortnightly retros. The CTO jumped at the problems and why it wouldn’t work! Head of DevOps was all for trying something new and gave unqualified support, remaining leads were skeptical and took a wait and see approach. I have a great working relationship with the CTO so gave him some feedback on his comments in our 1:1. I couched it in terms of wanting to create teams where we can try things and fail. If the team feel that they will always get a negative response (especially from the CTO) we won’t get new ideas!! He admitted he is not good with change and agreed that he does jump to the problems and said he would work on it!

Week 3: Back home and into the reality of day to day work. Trying to recruit, one step forward, three steps back, a newbie who is so enthusiastic and smart and eager to create value who I’m so scared of her leaving because I don’t provide the environment for her to thrive, the utter frustration of my PO who elected to work out his notice period (1 month) sitting there being paid doing SWEET FUCK ALL, back doing product work because there ain’t anyone else to do it so no time or brain space to be thinking by about the big picture strategy and roadmap! And then the email from the CEO which was the straw which almost broke the camels back. It was CC’d to the rest of the exec team and also my PO (who has been there 5 years and is difficult to get through to). Basically why was a particular feature being released and what else was being developed that he wasn’t aware of and where the fuck was the roadmap. I felt a wave of nausea when I read it and saw the recipient list. Took and mental deep breath and replied:

“I'll own this. I was not aware that this was being developed and released this sprint and I should be across what features are being prioritised and released. Also, the Infinity roadmap is currently scattered between Miro and Prodpad and I have not prioritised organising it, so the team does not have a plan.

Apologies, I will work with X and Y next week to get the roadmap in place and ongoing improvements prioritised for the team to develop.”

Got crickets for the rest of the day, except for the Operations Manager who is a close buddy who commented: “You owning that fuckup was the highlight of my fucked up day!”

Coincidently, I had an hour booked the next morning with the CEO on the roadmap. So after a big cry and a few wines on Thursday night I gritted my teeth for a complete balling out from him on Friday!

Some context, he is a blunt and straight talking bloke. I feel he is maybe on the spectrum a little, certainly an introvert but works around it well. He has history of losing his shit with people, walking out of meetings, his sarcasm can be withering. Yet I can say in all honestly he’s gruff but I always manage to raise and smirk or two from him and he’s never been rude or dismissive to me. Long story, an hour later I had some really great direction for the roadmap and a reset on where I should be prioritising my time and effort. I left the Zoom with: “Fuck I thought I was going to get a balling out from you because I dropped the ball but this has been really helpful so thanks!” That prompted a smirk and a comment that it’s his job to make sure I’m working on the most important things. But if a lesson learned! It’s not the end of the day if I drop a ball, the world keeps going and no one expects me to be perfect but once again I need to be communicating what’s happening and manage up a lot better. I need to change my fear of presenting something half finished, or just my thinking on something because it’s not perfect. Getting input early is good, waiting until it’s perfect means I’ll never communicate!!! ….sigh….it’s all a fucking long work in progress!!

[trolleytracksmoved]

Hey so, did you have any theories about the Chairman's identity before TTO went offline?

I had two, mutually exclusive, theories:

He's Pete (from the Mickey Mouse Cartoons).

He's a supercomputer.

(Sorry about the flood of Asks, it's been a while since I've been able to talk about Toontown to someone who's actually a fan of Toontown.)

i don't mind! ^^ it makes me really happy seeing others interested in the game as well. i don't know if it's just a problem on my end, but the toontag is usually pretty quiet, so any toontown related asks are welcomed.

as for your question... i can't exactly say i have theories on his *identity* because we were technically already shown who he was early on in the game's lifespan. in the early days of tto, there was a short animated video that played while waiting for the game to install that shows us backstory on how cogs were created. i can't link the video bc i'm on mobile but the gist of what happens is that scrooge visits gyro's lab one night and finds one if his inventions which is a giant robot (the chairman), messes around with the wiring which causes it to go haywire, and, after witnessing the robot create cogs gets captured. if you search up "Toontown Online - 2003 Installer Video" on youtube, you can watch it for yourself.

at some point, disney got rid of the installer video. i can't tell you when they did or a definitive reason why, bc googling yields no results and i would've been way too young to remember anyways, but it's a piece of toontown's lore that's pretty unknown.

i believe the reasons why they MIGHT'VE taken down the video is... a) the chairman had a redesign. kind of flimsy reasoning but.. before i knew about the installer video's existence, i thought the big head you see when you walk into the sellbot factory was a statue of the chairman bc the head mesh wasn't found anywhere. taking down the video to avoid confusion in the sudden design change would make sense but it'd also be incredibly early since sellbot hq was released the same year tto was created (7 months apart!). i know that early draft sellbot hq was different than the one we know now, (re: it was harder, there was going to be an arm factory, a leg factory, etc. you would lose a suit part if you lost a vp battle iirc) but i have no idea if that og design was actually in-game for a period of time before it went through a redesign later. regardless, it's something!

b) they decided to save the chairman reveal for the second game in the works. did you know there were plans for a 2nd toontown game? well now you do! only issue with this theory is the plans for a 2nd game weren't until '10. bossbot hq was released in '08 and is the only other time the chairman was mentioned. unless it was foreshadowing, why wait an extra 2 years? why not get rid of the line? additionally, 7 years to get rid of the video seems too long esp considering it's not as well known but that's just me. ahg, i wish google or the wiki said when the installer video was taken down. it makes things easier 😞

c) due to budget constraints, they decided to completely drop the ball in developing toontown's story. pretty self-explanatory. at some point, the business model toontown was running on became ineffective and they weren't raking as much money as before. i believe it was during '09 where things started going downhill bc there was a worsening hacker issue and club penguin was getting more memberships while toontown was getting less. an unfortunate coincidence if true, bc bossbot hq was only released for a year that time.

so yeah! these are my thoughts. i'm sorry if you were expecting a different, shorter answer. when you mentioned the chairman it reminded me of that video and it spiraled into this chaotic mess of a timeline. i hope it was a good read nonetheless? characterization-wise i do view chairman as a supercomputer or AI of sorts that got corrupted due to crossed wires and became progressively worse as time went on but i feel that's less of a theory and more of a headcanon, hence why i put this in the end.

#long post / #i hope this post is cohesive.. i re-read it thrice but it's late where i am

[brianedner]

Luz’s Crimes: Gambling

Inspired by Koolkon08 on Tumbler. “Luz runs a gambling scam.”

 Gambling scam/ring

 I am not endorcing anything illegal in this fic

 Amity and Gus were siting next to each other in the shack, putting the finishing touches on the last few documents needed to make it look like they were humans born in the country.

 “Just a few more touches, and…”

 SLAM!

 “I FOUND A MONEY MAKING OPERTUNTY!”

 Amity jerked back from the table, smearing all the ink on the document she was just finishing, ruining hours of hard work.

 She then turned towards Hunter with a look of murder in her eyes.

 “What a coincidence, I was just found a soon to be dead body.”

 Gus put a hand on her shoulder.

 “Hold on Amity, lets hear what the opportunity is first. Also, Willow would be mad if we kill him without asking her first.”

 At that, Willow walked though the door behind Hunter. “Yes, I would, and no you do not.” She then pulled Hunter into a side hug. “The only person allowed to kill Hunter is me.”

 Hunter gave a little blush at that before extracting himself from the hug. “Anyway, I found a way for you to help with the finances Gus. There is a gambling ring out of a unsold store slot in the local shopping center. It’s pretty small, just a few card games, a roulette wheel, and some sports betting.”

 Willow then took that moment to speak up. “My Gardner supervisor is actually the brother of guy running it, and asked if I would be willing to be a dealer for a bit since one of his regulars dropped out. He said that the pay is a flat rate plus a percentage of the money we get from people each month in cash.”

 Gus’s eyes widened when the implications hit him. “You want me to use my illusions to cheat people out of their money?”

 Hunter just smiled at that. “Almost, but there is one big factor that really sells this plan.”

 Willow smiled with him. “Camila gambles there as well.”

 Gus and Amity just looked at them before falling to the ground and rolling around laughing. They just stayed down there for a minute before noticing that Gus and Willow weren’t laughing also.

 Luz decided to come back from the bathroom at that moment and took stock of her friends on the floor.

 “Are you two ok?”

 Gjus turned to look at Luz. “Luz, quick question. Dose your mom do any gambling?”

 “Oh yeah. She has a friendly card game with the vet staff weekly . Why did you ask.”

 Hunter filled in Luz on the situation, and her eyes lit up with understanding.

 “You want to have Gus rig the games where she is playing so she wins.”

 “Not too much though. If she keeps winning massive amounts of money people will think she is cheating and decide to either kick her out, rough her up, or just not play with her anymore.”

 Gus stood up and sighed. “Ok, I will SLIGHTLY mess with the card games she is playing so she doesn’t lose any money at the tables. I can mess with the card games and the roulette wheel, but the sports betting is far beyond my abilities.”

 Hunter just nodded. “That is all we are asking for Gus.”

 Saturday Night

 Gus had decided to take the form of a human Adrian Vernworth wearing some glasses, but went by Adrian Verner. Was he being a little petty be tarnishing the appearance of a foe he only met once?

 Absolutely yes, but he was a kid and the guy tried to take away his ability to do magic and melt his brain.

 He was working a poker table while also keeping a sound damping spell up around the gambling den.

 He figured that anything that would prevent people from noticing that something was going on in a supposedly empty store was a good thing and would keep this going on for longer.

 It was a hour into his shift when he noticed Camilla entering the building through the front door with a few other people he recognized from pictures on the wall of the animal clinic. The wandered over to his table which had just finished the last game and sat down.

 A man with a green shirt looked at him suspiciously. “Who are you? Never seen you here before.”

 Gus flashed the best smile he could, calling on all his ability to make the ugly mug as appealing as possible. “I am Adrian, a yes I am new here. I have been dealing here only a few days, but have extensive experience behind this.”

 Camilla wacked the man on the shoulder. “Come on Jack. Don’t give the new guy the 3rd degree. Let’s get to playing some cards. Deal us in Adrian.”

 Gus nodded and shuffled his deck before dealing out the cards, saving illusionary copies onto the inside of his glasses so he could keep track of who had which cards. The current hands had Camilla with 2 of a kind and another with a flush, but a little illusion from Gus before they lifted up their cards gave Camilla a 3 of a kind and ruined the flush.

 He kept doing that all night, and eventually it ended with Camilla winning big.

 “¡Sí! ¡Ven a mamá! She yelled, racking in her chips. “Guess who is buying everyone puppy shaped donuts tomorrow morning!”

 At that the rest of her table cheered.

 Gus just shot her a smile.

 It’s times like this that she shows that she really is Luz’s mom.

 Thank You again to by Koolkon08 from Tumbler for the prompt. Remember, if you have a idea for a crime that can be done, don’t be afrade to comment or PM me the idea and I will credit you if I like it.

 The hardest part is figuring out how to have a gambling ring in a small town and where it would be. Rest assure, we will see more of this den.

 I am also doing “Fanfic info dumps” on multiple series to help other fanfic writers with their works. They are on DevientArt here (https://www.deviantart.com/1228248) because Fanfiction and AO3 both said I couldn’t post them there.

 Fanfiction: https://www.fanfiction.net/u/5646512/

Tumbler: https://at.tumblr.com/brianedner/luzs-crime-list-masterpost/dia848df51z4

AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BrianEdner1/works

#THE OWL HOUSE #the owl house luz #the owl house hunter #the owl house willow #the owl house amity #the owl house gus #the owl house camila

[myimaginarywonderland]

My theory:

Alpine didn't even plan of moving Oscar up.

If they had, the only team they would have been in talks with would be Williams. It's basically confirmed that Nicky will lose his seat. They could have approached Williams month ago to talk so they really would have made sure that Oscar had that seat.

The fact that they rushed to confirm him for me means that a.) there were no plans they had made and they thought it was the perfect opportunity to promote him and b.) they had just like us learned about the McLaren rumours and needed to make sure they would not lose him. They however forget that since yesterday he isn't their driver anymore.

I highly doubt there would be this big of a problem if it was the Williams seat because there's really no other candidate? No one wants a back macker team, it's mostly a way to get rookies into the sport. I also don't think that if there were talks that there was already a contract because I think Williams truly cares more about the driver and probably would have wanted to give Nicky a few weeks to maybe find another drive. (Again there's no competition for a Williams seats besides Seargant who for me personally doesn't have to be in F1 yet.)

Alonso was definitely involved with Webber because there's no way this timing was all a crazy coincidence. This was definitely planned so Oscar could go to another team. And really there's no other top team besides McLaren that has had rumours about their seat.

#f1

[sexyandhedonistic]

idk if you remember me saying i'd come back w/ success after learning about the law but here i am! I spent time just learning the law, putting it into my own words and applying it and holy shit, like, I won't say I didn't struggle at first, but it was the first time ever that I really had that 'click' and so much started pouring into my life. They're not HUGE (but is anything ever huge, lol) but they're so wonderful and came in when I started taking responsibility for my godhood and understanding creation is finished.

1. It's so much easier, and FUN to have a mental diet and live in the end. I worked on my self concept for this because once upon a non-existent time I was a crazy illogical and self-pitying person; who thought everything was always harder than it looks and only masters make things look easy. Not the case anymore. I am OBSESSED with recognizing my inner world as the real world and living there.

2. I also became more at peace with the people around me because I feel like I no longer have anything to prove to anyone, and now me and all my SPs (non-romantic) are closer than ever.  3. Sometimes I get all kinds of aches and pains, etc. and I also had my period around this time. I affirmed to never have pain again and had 1) zero cramps, 2) pressure and pain from choking at an odd angle (waking up) instantly vanished when it would stay with me for hours before, 3) migraines that usually mess with my vision a bit instantly faded away. Even today, I got a fever last night and woke up this morning to find I was perfectly fine! 4. Kicked my brutally destructive thoughts to the curb. I usually have some really terrible thoughts about myself that peak once a month. They get so bad that I end up losing friends, missing out on shit, hating myself overall. 

5. Manifested healthier habits for my brother that was recently diagnosed with illness and previously suffered from chronic depression. The next day he's starting to keep up with his family members again, going to the gym, planning to go back to school, threw out all his unhealthy food, cleaned his apartment despite his depression causing him to neglect everything for months to actual years. 6. Manifested more/constant interaction with an SP and several communities of mine that I wanted to be more active in and more close to the people in! :)  7. Became even more beautiful and attractive, not just in appearance, but my behaviour etc. and that's led to a bunch of people (esp. men) wanting to know me and flirt with me whenever they see me (but I already have a partner haha). 8. I scripted some new desires, since I like seeing my manifestations on paper, and set the intention that they appear in my 3D overnight since I know they're already manifested. But I didn't really stick to that cause of all kinds of things happening last night but any who: this morning, my mom sent me a video of a new penthouse project in a really upscale area and it looked just like the pent I originally wanted. I asked for the official pricing and she said $300K. For the area it's in that's literally crazy, so I looked into it and found out that she was right! That particular site was going for 300K with a super low mortgage! I forgot that I desired a ridiculously low cost of living even in the wealthiest areas! But now, I realized I no longer want that penthouse, and I can manifest whatever I want without ever working a day in my life and paying for nothing, but owning everything! Right now, I want to manifest a tropical/French chateau themed mansion by the beach. 9. Mom got in an accident last night and it triggered a very big opportunity for her, which directly coincides with my desire for the people around me to always live wonderfully and get what they want.  This isn't everything, and there is so much more coming to show itself in the 3D, but I think this is enough for now. Thank you for everything Hera, ilysm!!

WOWWWWW this is incredible! Congratulations, my love! I'm so so proud of you!

#submission #success story #ily2!

[yourmcu]

Birthday

Pairings: The Avengers x  reader

Summary:

It’s your birthday and the team gets creative on how to surprise you, putting their acting skills to the test.

Word count: 2,350

A/n: just a little something because,, well,, it’s my birthday *runs away* also it’s cheesy, hopefully it makes sense lmao

Warnings: uhhh brief mention of explosion? mostly fluff

The Avengers wanted to get creative for your birthday this year. For the few years they've known you they picked up on things about you. One, you paid no mind to your birthday at all and just considered it a normal day like the rest of the 365, Tony took note that you hated parties, at least the really big ones, something that involved only the team would be good.

Okay, you sound like a party pooper, but that isn't the case; it's not a crime to just... not want to have a grand celebration, right? And people singing the 'happy birthday' song to you too while you just sit there in silence. It's awkward, you once told Natasha. It’s also awkward and hard for you to receive presents even though that’s what birthdays are all about, you’re still getting used to it since you knew someone like Tony Stark.

Well, the team think you're an amazing friend and they all treat you like family. They're so glad they met someone like you.

You're immediately called to the conference room on that day. Only to find the team arguing and pointing fingers at one another.

You kinda just slot in, sitting on the chair you usually sit on whenever there's a meeting or mission briefing. Glancing around, you try and find out what they're fighting about.

Security. Suits. Brief mention of Ultron. Rhodey busying himself with phones, probably making a lot of calls. Natasha and Clint talking among themselves, only raising their voice whenever they're included in the conversation which mainly consisted of Tony and Steve arguing.

"Suit up, get the jet ready." Steve dismisses but before he could walk out himself you raise your hand.

"Hey, sorry, I just woke up," you say sheepishly but coolly at the same time. "What happened, is everyone supposed to go? Can I read the file?" Because if this is an Avengers-level threat that required everyone, you'd want to know all about it.

His sharp and expression softens slightly when he looks at you. "No file, I'm afraid. Some of the compound's security protocols have been compromised, someone hacked in." He proceeds to tell you how they particularly had interest in Bruce and Tony's lab so the other rooms were untouched.

Apparently, they took blueprints and materials, maybe a handful of Tony's suits.

But if you think about it, those two carelessly letting the security to their lab loose? Highly unlikely...

You push the thought to the back of your mind and nod when Steve tells you to get ready. Stark tech can be dangerous in the wrong hands, after all. Let alone the Iron Man suits.

Fortunately, those things have trackers. Leaving you to wonder again why those idiots don't even try and take them off so they won't tracked?

Sat on the floor of the jet while everyone was strangely quiet but once again you didn't pay any mind, you sharpen a few of your knives. Natasha sat on a stool near you, idly picking her nails. An hour into the flight you furrow your brows and look around.

"Are you guys okay?"

"Yes," Tony states quickly and a matter-of-factly. They all share glances before he continued. "It's the tension. Sorry. My fault."

"It's not your fault, Tony," Bruce starts.

"I'm sorry, to whom were those stolen suits again?" Steve speaks up as well and you could tell it's gonna be a full blown argument again.

"Now hold on just a second-" Tony faces the super soldier to counter.

You merely blink, not expecting a simple question to turn out like this. Clint just glances from the pilot's seat and Natasha almost cracks a smile by the look of your face. If only you knew it was all fake, all planned. But what does she know? You're a spy too, maybe you've figured out what they're up to and decided to play along.

Sad to say you're still oblivious. Maybe the fact that you only slept three hours last night is one case. You wanted nothing more than your bed right now.

Heck, not one of them wished you a happy birthday but you didn't notice at all.

Tuning out their bickering you sit down next to Natasha who's the only one not in the argument.

"I haven't seen Wanda all day," you say and she turns her head to face you. "Or Sam, or Bucky."

"Probably not back from their mission." Natasha answers promptly.

You frown at that. "Steve made this sound like an Avengers-level threat, and it is, shouldn't they be here?"

You don't wait for a response, opening up a globe-shaped hologram that shows where the jet, represented by a blinking dot. Your eyes slightly widen when you see the target location which is one of the places you've been dying to visit your whole life.

Maybe it's just a coincidence. You definitely didn't expect to visit it for the first time on a mission though.

Natasha clears her throat. "Hey, have you read the book I gave you?" She subtly closes the globe up when she catches your attention.

You shake your head bashfully. "You know I'm a slow reader. Give me two months then I'll come back to you." You laugh. Natasha smiles and tells you to take your time. "Have you read the book I gave you?"

"I loved it."

"I knew you would!" You say excitedly and the next few moments you discuss about the specific book. She's just glad you didn't ask any further questions about the location.

--

All of you split up once you reach the base but Rhodey and Bruce stay in the jet as backup. The place reminded you so much of the old Avengers tower, only with darker themes. You're paired with Clint who you follow to the side of the building, with surprisingly no cautiousness. He just... ran in, entrance deserted of guards.

You all had a digital, tech checklist to see what was stolen including all the suit names. So far you've searched two drawers now and still no sign of any agent or guard. But it's weird since the others are clearly doing their part on their floors. Thuds, footsteps and sometimes banging sounds could be heard all around.

“Finally," you mutter when you hear footsteps behind you, spinning around so suddenly to surprise your enemy and take him down with ease. You raise an eyebrow when they don't put up a fight at all.

Clint was in front of a computer when you peek in to one of the rooms but he waves you off. "I'll meet you on the next floor. This'll take a second."

"One suit on the roof!" you hear Steve grunt through your earpiece.

"Remember to remove the arc reactor, that'll shut them down for sure." Bruce reminds through everyone's comms.

You hear Tony let out a noise. "Might have a problem with that, Banner, they're all reprogrammed."

Expecting the man with seven Ph. D's to worry, it only took him a minute to respond back. "It's your tech. I don't believe they could do that completely especially having them for only twelve hours."

"In that case," Tony sighs. "There should be a kill switch under one of their reactors."

"Which one?" Natasha grunts.

The deafening silence from Tony's line explains it.

You fight your way though the thugs which again, don't put up a fight. Sometimes you throw one punch and they're out cold, leading you to believe the intense training Bucky insisted you do worked. The only tough ones were the Iron Man suits themselves.

Ripping out the arc reactors wasn't easy. You had to use all you force. On the second one you encounter it got the upper hand and blasts you through a wall, the impact sending sharp pain to your head and back.

You hear metal thumping of a suit so you get back up and attempt to get your hands on the Iron Man in front of you.

"Hey, hey. Same team. Look," Tony grips on your wrists and lifts his mask up. "You alright?"

“Yeah," you pant, relaxing a bit. "Yeah. One of them got m-"

"We just discovered a bomb, northwest," Clint says. By ‘we’ he means him and Natasha. The redhead speaks right after. “Two and a half minutes. How many suits left, Friday?”

"Only one more suit is fully functional."

You get out of Tony's hold and sprint up the stairs. "I got it."

He smiles to himself. The plan is all coming  to place.

As soon as you enter the room you dodge a blast from the much bulkier Mark XVI. Of course they'd want to make the stealth suit more powerful. You launch yourself towards it, stomping on an arm while trying to dodge blasts from the the other one.

"Y/N! Fifty seconds!" Steve shouts in your earpiece.

You could've just jumped out, leaving the compromised suits here to be blown up but being under pressure made you panic and set your only goal to find the switch.

The suit could still set off a blast from the arc reactor so you couldn't really get your hands on it without losing a freaking arm.

"Get out of there!”

But you didn’t have enough time. So you just curl into a ball against the wall, accepting your fate.

A pop did go off. Loud, but you didn't feel yourself torn into pieces right after. You also heard a bunch of aye’s and oh’s. Redwing whirs by to your head to drop off a birthday hat.

"Happy Birthday!”

Your eyes fly open. Turns out the only thing inside Mark XVI was confetti. Natasha walks over to you to inspect and make sure you're alright.

"What the hell?" Your eyes widen at her, then at everyone. Sam and Bucky were now standing with them, smiling at you amused.

"I think she's in shock.”

“You think?”

Steve glares at Tony with a hint of amusement. "I told you it would be too much."

"Trust me she prefers something like this instead of a big party. Don't you, Y/N?"

"What do you mean?" You take off the hat and clutch it between your hands, appreciating Natasha rubbing your back as you try to collect yourself. "How is none of this real?"

"We basically faked a mission for you." Rhodey says.

You look around all the rubble. "This building, the people, suits-"

"Bought the place," Tony states. "Hired stuntmen, did a few tweaks on the suits...”

"God, why would you do that?" You bury your face in your hands, not knowing if you should be laughing or crying. "I punched those guys!"

"They'll be fine, they signed up for it."

You gently get up and brush off some confetti off your knees.

"But back at the compound... you guys were yelling at each other and during the whole thing you all sounded serious," you point out. "Was that all part of the act?"

Especially when that 'bomb' was about to go off. Steve's panicked voice made you scared for your life, only to know that it was all fake.

They all show signs of agreement, laughing.

"We'd make such great actors." Natasha smirks.

"Alright, the cake isn't going to blow itself." Clint walks up to you with said cake and you meet him halfway.

Everyone gathers around and before they could inhale to sing the stupid song, you cut them off. "You all know I hate to be sung at. Can we just get this over with?"

They all burst out laughing, you giggle in the process, blowing out your candle. You all group hug right after. The laughter makes you miss the sound of faint thunder outside.

"Look who's late." Bruce points out.

"Yes, I got here as soon as I can, my apologies." Thor smiles sheepishly.

Your ears perk up at the all too familiar voice of the god of thunder. Moving everyone of the way, you leap to hug him. "Thor!"

"Happy birthday, dearest Y/N." He grins and pats you on the head. "I'm afraid my - I mean - our gift, is with Loki at the moment."

"Enough with the formality, I’m just glad you’re here.”

Peter rings up Tony to tell him everything's set up at the huge building they rented for your low-key party. Just the Avengers. Peter, Vision and Wanda were in charge of setting things up over there, from decorations and food. Sam and Bucky also helped a bit before they arrived at the fake base.

So you all get into the jet again, this time you look at the windows in awe to see what the city's like. You also asked a bunch of questions on how they pulled something stupid but unique fake mission like that.

Once you've reached your destination, the place was simple yet big enough to fit everyone. Tony really took notes for this year. You didn't like anything too fancy or elegant, and you didn't like huge-ass parties with hundreds of people you've never met before.

Here you're with your family eating, drinking booze and playing games, generally having a good time.

You give the other five Avengers big hugs. Vision's never usually a hugger but for you he made an exception just for today. Everyone was surprised when he lifted you off your feet and spun you around.

"Hugging has a lot of good benefits," Vision says when he lets you go. "Astounding, I know. It is recommended eight times a day, hopefully you've already gotten that much."

You giggle at his remark and Wanda rolls her eyes playfully. “Thank you, Vision.”

“Splendid, that means I don’t have to give you one.”

You turn around to see the god of mischief himself carefully hand you a wrapped box. Loki chuckles when you smile at him. “Happiest Birthday.”

“Loki.... you know you and Thor didn’t have to-”

“Thor? That one’s from me. I assure you.”

“Y/N!” You hear Tony call from the other side of the room. “It’s time for presents, little miss. Good lord this looks like Christmas morning.”

-

unfortunatley i am that extra to post a birthday fic woo hoo

#the avengers #avengers #avengers x reader #marvel imagines #tony stark #natasha romanoff #steve rogers #bruce banner #thor #loki #james rhodes #vision #wanda maximoff #peter parker #sam wilson #bucky barnes #clint barton #tony stark x reader #natasha romanoff x reader #steve rogers x reader #bruce banner x reader #thor x reader #loki x reader #wanda maximoff x reader #peter parker x reader #sam wilson x reader #bucky barnes x reader #iron man #black widow #captain america

[angryinternetduck]

yellow & blue

[not my pic] Hello and welcome to 2.7k words of pure angst! This doesn’t really have a purpose lol but it’s sad and angsty and features 2020 Brits Harry so why not!!! Have some depressed Harry, angelic reader, and yellow suits. Featuring Harry Styles x famous!reader. Inspired by Woman by Harry Styles, It Isn’t Right by the Platters, and When I Was Your Man by Bruno Mars (which should give you an idea of just how angsty this is lmao).

The first time he met you, Harry was wearing a yellow suit. The first thing you said to him was a compliment about it. That suit sparked a conversation, and that conversation sparked an interest, and that interest sparked the best two years of Harry’s life.

If Harry said he hadn’t thought about that suit while preparing for the 2020 Brits, he’d be lying.

The chatter of the table he’s at isn’t boring by any means, but it’s not anywhere near captivating enough to keep Harry’s attention on the conversation and off of you. He heard about your new boyfriend, of course - who hasn’t - but this is your first public appearance together and Harry is having just a little bit of trouble breathing.

It’s been four months. Four months since you broke up, three since the news went public.

As far as the public knew, the separation was mutual. As a brand new artist, you needed to take a second to find yourself as a person. As Harry Styles, the man the myth the legend, Harry needed to focus on his next album and possible future acting career. He also supported you in your decision, and knew that the two of you would, of course, remain the best of friends.

Most of that’s true. You only just released your second album - which is doing spectacularly, of course - and Harry really does need to get this next album done. But it wasn’t mutual. Harry doesn’t think any of his break ups have been truly mutual. You broke up with him. There isn’t really any getting around it. Not that the public has to know.

The problem is that Harry understands why you broke up with him. As heartbreaking as it is, he realizes what he did. He knows that he wasn’t a good boyfriend. He doesn’t really have an excuse, either; he can explain away his faults all he wants, but at the end of the day, you’re just too good for him.

Which makes it all the more depressing to watch you positively glow without him.

Part of him wants to go over and beg for your forgiveness. He wants to walk over and get on his knees and say, I love you with all my heart and I’ll never make another mistake again and I’ll love you forever and ever, please, please take me back, I’ll do anything.

Another part of him loves you too much to do that. Maybe you’re meant to be with this new guy. Maybe he’s your one, your only, the one worthy of all your love and attention. Maybe he’ll make you happy in ways Harry never did.

Because really, all Harry wants is for you to be happy. He wants you to glow like this all the time, to forget the feeling of sadness, to never cry a single tear again. He wants the only pain you ever feel to be an ache in your cheeks from all your smiling.

He just wishes he could be the one putting that smile on your face.

One thing he’s noticed is that your happiness seems to coincide directly with his. Whenever you’re happy, he’s happy. Not at the moment, actually, because you seem happy as a clam and Harry feels like his chest is caving in on itself, but whenever Harry thinks “happiness,” he thinks of moments with you. Of moments when you were happy. Moments when you were happy because of him, with him, for him.

He surprised you with a picnic one year for your birthday. He went all out, spreading a blanket down and everything, and the two of you drank wine, ate sandwiches and snacks out of a picnic basket, and talked in Harry’s back yard until after the sun came up.

Whenever Harry thinks “happiness,” that is the moment that pops into his head.

It wasn’t a loud sort of happiness, either. It wasn’t a bouncing on top of the world, adrenaline rushing through his blood, head pounding with excitement and joy and energy sort of happiness. He wasn’t breathless or wide eyed or buzzing with emotion.

No, this was a quiet happiness. It was the very definition of content. It was your head on his shoulder, your hand intertwined with his, your whispers of, “I love you,” the soft kisses exchanged as the sun set and the stars began to twinkle into the sky. It was your giggles at his jokes, your eyes brighter than the moon, softer than the wispy clouds suspended in air.

Harry’s getting a hollow ache in his chest just thinking about it. It hurts, really, because each of those memories, those days, those nights, carved a little hole in him and filled him with love and adoration and the purest happiness anyone’s ever experienced in the history of the world.

Now that you’re gone, that happiness has disappeared and all that’s left is a hollow, empty pit.

Since you’ve been gone, other memories have started creeping out of the shadows. These are different memories, memories of Harry’s failure and your disappointment and nights spent apart and tears sliding down your cheeks.

The problem with these memories is that it’s not a specific memory. It’s not one singular memory that Harry can turn over and over in his head and decide what went wrong. It’s not one thing that Harry can think about and solidify and apologize for.

It’s a whole bunch of things. It’s all the nights spent at the studio instead of with you. It’s all the last minute anniversary gifts and half hearted, distracted dinners, and all the forgetting of events and details. It’s the gradual falling away of random weeknight flowers, it’s the slow decline of hidden poems around the house he set out for you to find.

Well, maybe there is one thing. It might have been that one date night he cancelled. It was at the very end, during the knowing glances after frequent fights, after the slow, painful descent into acceptance but before the official conversation.

Dancing with the Stars had come on TV one night.

“Hey, I’m a star,” you murmured to him, curled up against him on the couch.

“Got that right,” Harry hummed, and you smiled up at him, and that smile made this night one of the good memories. “It should be just us two,” you told him, watching the pairs made up of one professional dancer and one celebrity dance on screen. “No professional.”

You giggled. “Yeah, we’re too good for them anyway.”

You took to dancing around the house after that night. Your dancing always brought a smile to Harry’s face. Funny how all you had to do was twirl, laugh, smile, breathe, and Harry would want to smother you in kisses and gift you his entire heart.

Sometimes you managed to rope him into it. Often you wouldn’t. Often, Harry would wake up to soft music playing in the kitchen, and he would walk in and see you dancing. He’d sip his coffee, and you would spin around and make up fancy footwork, and Harry would grin and blow you kisses and whisper, “I love you.”

He offered to take you dancing one night. He lay next to you in bed and traced his fingertips over your cheeks, lips, nose, and told you all about the night the two of you would have. He talked about live music and warm food and twinkling stars and dancing. You closed your eyes and smiled and hummed one of his songs, and Harry kissed you.

Then he got busy at the studio on the night you decided on. He stayed long. He called you. You didn’t pick up, because you were in the shower, getting ready for you big night. And you didn’t see the voicemail until after you were ready, until after you were sitting on the couch waiting for him, and when you saw the voicemail you jumped up because you didn’t look at the time it was sent, and you thought the voicemail was him calling because he was outside to pick you up.

You weren’t crying when he arrived at home. You just had a quiet sort of disappointment in your eyes, one that was almost more painful than tears, because this look told Harry that some part of you expected this. Harry didn’t look particularly guilty because he hadn’t realized how excited you were. He thought you probably didn’t even get ready. He thought you’d say, “Aw, well,” and move on.

He didn’t think he’d find you on the sofa, dressed in the most beautiful summer dress he’d ever seen, looking like an angel with a broken wing. He never dreamed you’d be so upset, never dreamed he’d be the reason for you being so upset.

That was the night he realized he was nothing but a mortal man in the presence of an angel.

An actual, real live angel.

An actual, real live angel who was losing her glow because of him.

Harry takes a miserable sip of his drink and tries to involve himself in the conversation happening around him. It doesn’t work. The noise level in the room is almost headache inducing, but somehow Harry can still pick out your laugh through the chatter.

He thinks, for a moment, that he’d like a shot of that laughter. He’d like to bathe in your happiness just once more. Maybe that’s all the closure he needs. A gasp of fresh air after what seems like eons of suffocating loneliness.

Then Harry thinks he sounds pathetic even in his own head and he excuses himself from his table. He walks almost blindly through the halls without even a semblance of an idea as to where he’s going. It’s quiet out here, at least, and he can clear his head, and take a breath, and maybe -

"Hey.”

Harry freezes.

For a moment, he thinks he’s imagining things. Then he turns around, and as it happens, he’s not.

There you are, in all your glory, a hesitant smile on your lips. You’re wearing a lavender dress. It fits you perfectly, makes you look like you’re floating off the ground, and Harry wants to cry because it matches his bow perfectly and that wasn’t even planned and goddammit, universe, that’s just salt in a gaping wound.

“Nice suit,” you say, and now your smile looks more sad than hesitant, and Harry feels the tears building in his throat because you remember too, of course you do, and Harry opens his mouth to reply but he can’t get his words out and now he’s on the verge of tears not only because he’s sad but also because he’s embarrassed.

“Thanks,” Harry finally chokes out.

“You’re welcome.”

The corridor suddenly feels long and empty and silent.

“Heard Feather on the radio the other day,” you say.

Feather. One word, a million memories shifting through Harry’s head faster than lightning.

A gifted necklace, filled notebooks, picked out notes, hummed melodies. Murmured lyrics in ears in early mornings. Night after night in the studio, together. Rubbish takeaway food, in the studio, together. Laughter over everything and nothing. Falling over each other in the booth, soft sighs and blissful gasps replacing giggles and shrieks of amusement. Late, late nights, together. Hearing it on the radio for the first time, together, almost driving off the road because of the excitement.

Hearing it on the radio last time, alone, almost driving off the road because of the stab of grief.

Harry’s not sure what to say to that. What do you expect him to? Oh, great, me too, fantastic song, innit? So he pauses for a moment and then replies, “We should make a sequel.” That gets a laugh out of you, and the thought strikes Harry to bottle it up and wear it in a little bottle around his neck.

“That would be something, huh?” you say.

“Call me,” Harry says. “I’ll book a studio.”

You smile. “Yeah, sure.”

“Don’t forget,” Harry tells you.

“I won’t,” you say, and there’s a beat of silence. Your smile fades as you look at him, as he looks at you, and Harry looks away because your smile’s about to disappear completely and Harry doesn’t think he could stand being the cause of your smile disappearing one more time.

You clear your throat. “Alright, well… Expect that call.”

“Yeah.”

“I’ll see you around, H,” you say.

“See ya.”

You turn around and walk away. Float away. Fly away.

Again.

Flight, Harry thinks, watching you go. That’s what the sequel would be called. Feather. Flight.

You wore a white dress the first time the two of you performed it live. It’s such a love song. It’s the sappiest shit ever written by anyone in the entire world. If anyone else had written it, Harry would’ve rolled his eyes and said, Bullshit.

But it wasn’t. The song wasn’t, the love wasn’t, nothing was. It was the complete opposite. As pure and true as love could possibly be. Which makes it all the more painful that Harry couldn’t keep his shit together enough for you.

That’s another one of the Happy Memories: that first time performing together. You in your white dress, Harry in a silver, shimmering suit. The two of you did a whole choreography; you messed up every other move and Harry tripped over his own feet quite a few times, but the effort was there. The combination of the overwhelming yet familiar excitement of being on stage and the otherworldly bliss of simply being in your presence is a feeling Harry will never forget.

The air in the hallway grows heavier and heavier with each passing second.

Harry should get back to his table.

He starts to walk. He peers up at the ceiling as he does, hands locked behind his back, deep in thought. People are cheering out in the main room. Harry listens to the noise and closes his eyes, trying to shut his brain off.

The fans, he remembers, were devastated upon hearing the news of your breakup. It was kept quiet long enough that the questions and concerns weren’t particularly invasive, but it still hurt. It hurt like hell. It was ripping off the bandaid of the first month and poking and prying at the wound until Harry cried onstage and ducked out of an interview and missed a show.

Feather was taken off the setlist.

Once, during a lull in a show, the audience began to sing it. That was kind of strange. Harry looked up at the bright lights and swaying figures and heard his song, your song, being sung back to him by hundreds of strangers. It occurred to him, then, that it was not, in reality, your song. By that point, it meant something to other people as well.

That was very strange.

Harry ended up strumming out the chords for them. He smiled when the audience grew louder.

He heard later that the exact same thing happened to you. It was a few nights later, maybe the next week, and there were some technical issues. In the quiet, the fans began to sing Feather. You joined in just a second later, adding in your bit of the choreography.

Harry tried his hardest not to watch the footage, he really did, but he couldn’t help it.

He cried a lot that night.

When he finally makes it back to the main room, you’re situated under your new boyfriend’s arm, smiling brilliantly. Harry looks away as he sits down and downs the last of his drink. He grins at whoever’s talking at his table and shuts off his brain.

At the end of the night, through an alcohol- and exhaustion-muddled haze, Harry spots you by the door. He sweeps you up and plants a big messy kiss on your cheek, which you return with giggles and a kiss of your own. Harry leaves the 2020 Brits with two lipstick prints on him.

Despite the pictures splattered everywhere the next morning, Harry feels an air of contentment.

It’s done, he thinks, taking a deep breath. It’s done, and that’s good.

Because really, nothing gold can stay.

Not even the gold of a yellow suit.

***

ummm... yeah lol. hope u liked it...? lskdjf anyway there's that.

thx for reading! a reblog and some feedback would be fantastique!!!!

masterlist | ask

#harry styles fanfic #harry styles x reader #harry styles x y/n #harry styles angst #harry styles one shot #harry styles fic #harry styles

[gb-patch]

Ask Answers: August 8th

Well, doing big posts all together worked for a while but lately I’ve been putting it off because it takes a long time to get them done. I think I’m gonna try switching back to answering asks whenever I can fit it in and posting them one at a time instead of waiting until I’ve filled out one of these major collections.

But for now, here’s more ask answers! Thank you for the questions and for all the kind words along with them ^^.

Hello!! I'm here to ask if its possible to get  the game and its dlcs on steam and play it on android?

I’m afraid not. Steam doesn’t have Android builds on their own site and Steam is not cool with keys for other sites being given out for Steam purchases, so you don’t get the Itch version from buying on Steam.

Hello! Sorry to bother you but, I had a question, if we buy the Game on itchio do we get steam keys or would we need to purchase it twice? 

You would have to buy it twice if you want it in both places, I’m sorry. To repeat myself a little, Steam doesn’t like the key trading thing. Itch may support giving keys for another site, but the reverse isn’t doable with Steam and Steam doesn’t even really want you to get a Steam key for buying somewhere else either. So we just don’t mess around with that.

hey, sorry if this is frequently asked, but is step 4 free dlc or paid for? some of your sources are contradicting each other. 

It’s free! There’s a paid wedding DLC, but Step 4 itself is entirely unpaid.

Hello! I just had a quick question, for the Baxter and Derek DLC's will we be able to confess our feelings to them or let them confess to MC? or will it only be one way? (they confess to MC)

Both type of options will be available!

Hey there! I wanted to ask whether or not the Derek DLC is still on track to be released in August since on the steam discussion board it says it will be released mid 2021. I totally understand if it isn't, I'm just really looking forward to it! If you answer then ty! And keep up the amazing work :D 

It’s not, aha. Unfortunately, 2021 wasn’t easier than 2020 as we hoped so things are still slower than planned. It’ll come out late 2021 or early 2022.

Hi! Firstly I just want to say that I LOVE Our Life. I have played a bit of similar games but this one instantly wins for the best one! Everything about it is amazing! I just wanted to ask if Derek would ever lose feelings for MC, like if they make the deal and then MC gets with Cove would he move on? and even if you don't, after "losing contact" would his feeling fade or would he still like MC? 

If you don’t really keep in touch with him and clearly move on with your life, Derek will too and he’ll be over it. But if you are still close as best as you can be, he’ll still think the MC is special. Though, he’ll always support your relationship with someone else if that’s what’ll make you happy.

Hello! Sorry if you've answered this before but: 'How's Lee related to us? Though which momma? And does she share our player-chosen last names? Also, do you know if Noelani took Pam's last name or did it happen the other way round? 

She’s related to Pamela and Pamela’s last name is the one they use, so the MC has the same last name as Lee.

Will we be able to choose which (they or he) we tend to call Qiu by more often, or will it randomly change depending on the moment? 

Qiu knows which pronoun they’re comfortable with at a time and you’ll call them what they’re happy with. And it doesn’t change between lines, it takes multiple scenes or even full Steps for it to switch. So for extended periods Qiu will be totally a guy or fully agender.

Will Step 4 of OL2 have moments?

It’ll be an epilogue like it is in OL1, so it won’t have a bunch of different Moments.

Hello! Just a quick question, is Sunset bird from OL1 based on a real location? If so what's it called? I wanna visit it +_+

ps i love your games so much <3

It isn’t based on one specific town you can go to, but there are a lot of little coastal towns in Cali that have a similar vibe!

Heyaaa ( I hope you're all well ), umm… it might seem kinda stupid to ask but did Patreon members can have a key for the dlc's ( all the steps-released dlc ) even if they became a member this month or later ? (me? saying this cuz it's my case? maybe ;-;), and once again thanks for absolutely all the amazing works on all the games ! u-u 

You wouldn’t get the DLCs for backing there. The Patreon is for extra bonus content/early access, rather than being a storefront to purchase the normal DLCs. Rarely we give them out as a side gift, but it hardly happens and if what you want is the DLCs it’s best to ignore the Patreon and  buy keys for those directly from Itch or Steam. I’m sorry for the confusion.

Hey y'all, love what youre doing w/Terry. Trans rep outside of player customization is so rare and important to see more of so thank you so much. I do have a question and its that does he have a canon sexuality? I know Miranda was said to be straight ace but I dont believe anything was stated for Terry probably because he wasnt revealed to be a guy which changes things. Im also curious if well get answers on how long hes liked Miranda since he may have liked her in step 3 before she liked him 

Terry likes women and Randy likes men! And he did like Miranda back in Step 3.

Will the Wedding Dlc release at the same time as Step 4? 

They’ll come out separately with Step 4 releasing first.

I really love Our Life so much! I've spent over 20hours playing it even though I only got it a week ago! I was wondering if I could make a fangame for Our Life with a different love interest but same plot. Next-door neighbors romance, multiple steps, etc? I'll probably make it on Google Slides though- 

Sure! I hope you have fun with it and I’m glad you love the game.

How does Cove feel about poly relationships? 

He’s got nothing against them for the people they work for, but he’s 100% monogamous and would only be comfortable with a partner who was willing to be monogamous with him.

Idk if this has been answered before but will Step 4 include the option to advance your feelings towards Cove? 

Yep, you’ll be able to determine your feelings and what your relationship is.

In step 4 will there be a chosen to say we live with Cove even as just friends? 

Yeah, you can choose to live with Cove and that can be done when you’re friends.

I just played the game with the MC and Cove being best friends and omg it’s still so damn cute like the wholesomeness of it all is too much for my heart I swear ^.^  Now with that all said I was wondering can we still marry Cove? if we only love him as a friend like let’s say we’ve made deal with him similar to the one we can make with Derek because let’s real no one could compete with what the MC and Cove have even if they aren’t in love. 

It’s great to hear you enjoyed the friendship story! You can live with Cove, but you can’t marry him platonically. Cove has familial affection for the MC if they’re best-est friends. He wouldn’t think to marry someone he loves like family and even grew up with as though they truly were siblings.

Are you still going to be making a DLC for XOBD? :] 

Yes! We’re slowing adding voiced lines and fixing errors.

It makes me laugh that Shiloh's last name is Fields because that's what I put as my last name! So in Our Life when he talked about "Ms. Fields" picking him up I was extremely confused, lol. That dude mimics personalities so much that he stole my surname!

Oh, wow, that’s a very funny coincidence, haha.

hi !! i cant seem to be able to get the scene where mc is able to propose to cove despite being at the 'love' stage and telling him i'd want to get married, are there any other details that im missing out on? the options just dont appear at the end... 

Maybe you missed telling Cove you were in love with him even if you mentioned wanting to get married or you might’ve accidentally said earlier in the game that you don’t want to progress your relationship further with Cove. We haven’t removed them, so you can get the scene again. It’s just kind of easy to miss since there’s multiple requirements. You can read a little guide in the FAQ.

wait what di you need to do to be able to propose to cove? I've been trying but haven't had much luck 

You can check out the FAQ linked above!

does cove only develop a crush on the mc if the mc is also at crush/in love with him? 

Technically, yes. We treat the non-romantic relationship options as truly non-romantic since we don’t want to bait and switch people. But there’s nothing wrong with headcanoning that Cove does have feelings developing for the MC even before the MC has.

Is there a way to make/allow Lee and Baxter to date?

No, they just don’t have enough time together.

We also got a group of asks related to Tamarack in OL2, but I’m afraid the way they talked about people with larger bodies made me not want to post their words, even if the person didn’t say they’re trying to be hurtful. I will separate out the core question and answer it though, so people can know that info.

Does Tamarack lose weight in later Steps?

No, she doesn’t. As for the other questions included, to be honest, I don’t have to explain/defend having romance options of different sizes. I’m sorry if you’re dealing with unhappiness that’s connected to body image, if that’s where the negative emotions are coming from, but even so I can’t meet you on that level and pretend it’s a problem that needs an answer. A girl who simply isn’t thin being a main love interest is just not an unreasonable concept. Also, Tamarack isn’t a lesbian. Yes, she can date a female MC, but that doesn’t undo her actual sexuality, so I’m not sure where that one part at the end was coming from.

I wonder... can we "fight" with Qiu over leader status? 👀

Not really, haha. No matter how cool your MC is, they’re never gonna replace Qiu for the other kids around. So you can either partner up with him, follow him too, or not be a part of all that group politics stuff.

So when I play the game, sometimes I mentally call Cove “Covie/Covey” and that made me wonder, how does Cove feel about being nicknamed? Not like Romeo/Space Cadet/etc. but like pet names relating to his actual name

It’d depend on his age, personality, and your relationship with him! When he’s younger he’d probably be embarrassed, when he was grown he’d probably be more casual or happy about it.

will you be able to date baxter in step 3 while at crush with cove (but not dating him ofc) sorry if this has been asked already. i really love baxters step 4 design btw!! 

Yeah, you can be crushing on Cove and date Baxter if you weren’t already dating Cove. You just can’t be truly in love with Cove and then switch to Baxter.

I just got my friend into our life, and they adore shiloh and derek sooo will there be more of them in the second game? 

I’m afraid not. But you can see plenty more of Shiloh in XOXO Droplets/XOXO Blood Droplets, haha.

I see you haven't gotten any xoxo droplets asks recently but I'm still obsessed with these boys!! I was just wondering if Nate would curse under any circumstance? 

Yeah, Nate does use certain swear words (damn, hell, bastard) on very rare occasions.

Hi there! I have a question about the wedding dlc. Will we be able to plan a honeymoon during the planning stages of it or would it be something that Cove and the mc would rather plan later on? Thank you! Absolutly love the game by the way, definitely one of my favorite games! 

The focus will be on the wedding day itself. The topic of the honeymoon might come up a bit, but there won’t be any choosing of the exact location and such.

Hi! I have two questions and it's completely understandable if you only answer one/neither and I'm sorry if you've already answered either before! First, is there a set year in which OL:B&A takes place (ex: Step 1 being set in 2010 & Step 2 being set in 2016, etc.) or is it simply up to interpretation? Second, have you guys thought about doing a coming-of-age game where the MC has a tough home life or upbringing? (like one of their parents is an addict, a parent being transphobic whilst the player has the option to be trans, or having friends that are influencing them to do drugs, etc.) That's all! Thanks for making beautiful games. <3 

There is a set timeline!

Step 1: 2006 Step 2: 2011 Step 3: 2016 Step 4: 2021 

And we don’t currently plan on making a game like that. The Our Life series exists to be a safer environment for people to play around in and if we did do a brand new series that was harsher edged it’d be something more fantastical and/or plot-driven instead of a different type of modern day slice-of-life growing up story. I’m sorry.

i don’t know if you’ve already answered this, but do you have a guess on when phase 4 will come out? as well as ol2? i’m so excited for both of them, the inclusivity in this game is amazing, you guys should be really proud of it! 

Step 4 will be coming out very soon! OL2 is gonna take until 2023 to be anywhere near completion. But we might episodically release the Steps one at a time as they get done instead of waiting for three to be finished before launch like we did with the first game.

Hello, I was curious if there was an official or unofficial discord server for the game? 

We do have a discord! You can join by clicking this link HERE.

how long do you plan to keep ol's patreon running? 

Hopefully for at least a few more years.

Are you considering ever making merch? 

Yeah, but I don’t know when it’ll happen or what exactly we’ll make, aha. It’s something we want do, just nothing is set.

hi! i just found out about your game a couple of days ago on tiktok (so sorry if you’ve already answered this question) and i was wondering if y’all are ever planning to release it on iOS? 

I have no idea. It’s hard for a small group to get Apple approval and I honestly can’t say if it’ll ever happen or not. Maybe someday, though!

Hi, I love the art style of Our life and I would like to know if the artist has a Twitter? Also, could it be possible to fund more CGs for the game from him/her? So many times, I wish there was one like when the cutscene of the sunshower. 

That’s nice of you to offer. He doesn’t have a Twitter, at least not one that’s public enough to be shared with me. And I’m afraid not. The issue is that the CGs take huge amounts of time rather than there not being a budget for it. He’s gotta make CGs for Step 4, the DLCs, and new character sprites, too. There isn’t space in the schedule for even more. Sorry for that.

Hi, how are you?!

Are you planning on accepting new writers or is it always the same people who write your stories??

Thanks!!

Our Life: Beginnings & Always won’t be getting new writers, but we will be hiring a new team of writers for Our Life: Now & Forever eventually!

perhaps this counts as nsfw and I'm sure it has been answered before but what does Cove prefer, chests/boobs or butts? or perhaps both :3c thank you for this wonderful game (and the patreon bonus moment, it was worth all the waiting and more ♥) 

He’s a “chests of all shapes and sizes” kind of guy, haha.

i was wondering- did any of the writers actually grow up by the beach? as someone who's lived in a beach town all their life it really did feel nostalgic to play through our life 1 

I was born and raised in Cali! Though, not right by the beach. We still had to make trips out, but the setting is based on my own childhood memories of small beach towns we went through.

In Derek’s upcoming DLC, will we be able to reference the pact we made as teens? (love olba and xod/xobd so much btw you’re literally amazing) 

Yep, you will be able to talk about that!

Oh, sorry about the Cole being secretly L ask, then!

If you wanted context: Death Note is about this one guy who finds a notebook that kills anyone who you write the name of in there. The guy eventually develops a God Complex and starts mass killing criminals and stuff. L is the one trying to find out who is killing all these people.

Me and my sister first joked about it because I couldn't remember how to translate a word about the way Cove was sitting, so I just did the pose, and it looked a lot like how L himself sits! Then we just snowballed from there, with more and more nonsense connections.

That’s okay! Thanks for explaining. I’m sorry I didn’t know what you meant.

#our life #ask #gb patch #gb patch games

[lcksndkys]

Title: Official

Pairing:  Namjoon x reader

Rating: 18+, smut, fluff

Genre: secret dating au

Word count: 1,467

Summary:  You can only hide your new relationship from your friends for so long.

Warnings: oral (m. receiving) + a ruined shirt RIP

A/N: This lil smutty piece was written for the ghostie drabble marathon. Song lyrics:  “Because all of this is not coincidence.” (DNA). Inspired by @jinpanman ​ ‘s post about "Namjoon fixing his zipper in the middle of the performance”. Also, by law, tagging @sahmfanficbts <3

You grunt quietly as Namjoon presses you against the wall, mouth sealed tight against yours as he kisses you deeply between racks of clothing.

Hand pressing against his chest, you push his heaving body off yours.

“You have to go on in like,” you look down to check you watch, “15 minutes.”

“Mmm, that’s ok, plenty of time,” comes his low rasp as he continues to lick into your mouth, grinding his hips into yours.

You let him kiss you languidly for another minute, basking in the pre-show privacy. No hiding from curious friends or judgemental peers. Just you and Namjoon for these precious, fleeting moments.

Namjoon had begrudgingly agreed to keeping your relationship private upon your request. What had started as a drunken hookup months ago had evolved into under-the-table hand holding, sneaky kisses, falling asleep on nightly phone calls. 

“Ah, Joon, you- they’re gonna come lookin for you,” you pull back, panting and trying to reason with him.

Instead of replying, he ducks his head burying face first into your neck where he suckles at the soft skin he adores so much.

Whimpering, you claw your fingertips up and down his sides, feeling the silky material of his top. You pull his shirt free from his pants and send your hands underneath to feel his bare skin. 

“Fuck,” you whine. “No marks, Joon” you gasp, feeling the sudden increase in suction against your pulse point, losing himself to the taste of your skin.

You feel the rumble of displeasure in his chest as he yields to your command. 

He knew you were exclusively dating him, but when no one else was privy to that information, it almost seemed negligible. He was tired of biting back his frustrations when your mutual friends would try to set you up on dates. (Not that you would ever agree to any.) He was tired of pretending the two of you weren’t more. He was ready for the world to know about your relationship, but he knew you were still hesitant. 

Namjoon detaches his warm lips from your neck to peck lovingly at your forehead.

Pressed against the length of him, you feel the evidence of his excitement prodding against your abdomen.

“And how exactly do you plan to hide that?” you giggle, cocking an amused brow at him.

He brushes your hair aside and lets his large hand rest against your throat. Possessive, yet gentle.

“Mmm, it’ll go down,” he mumbles as he reattaches his lips to yours. 

Kissing across his mouth and planting a few along his jaw, you make your way to his ear.

“Or I could help you,” you whisper seductively, cupping his clothed erection.

You smirk when you feel Namjoon shiver at your gentle fondling. His body is like a live wire, crackling and exposed at your electric touch.

“Oh shit, I- I can’t return the favor though,” he pants.

“Take care of me after the show,” you purr, hands unbuckling his belt and reaching for the zipper. “You want this?” you ask one last time to which he nods vigorously. 

Impatient, he pushes your hands away to free himself from the confines of his pants. 

You wrap an eager hand around his length and swirl a thumb around his flushed tip. You gather the moisture there and spread it in slow circles around the rim of the head making Namjoon groan deep in his chest. 

You spit generously into your hand to avoid chafing him.

Skin smooth and soft, you pump him quickly to jerk him to his full potential. 

Thunk. Namjoon’s head falls back against the wall, eyes closed in bliss, as you tighten your grip around him.

“Eyes on me, big boy” you whisper, sinking down to your knees for your man.

His gaze follows you all the way down until you settle comfortably between his parted thighs. 

Your hand continues jerking his cock as you pepper open mouthed kisses to his groin and lower stomach. Your otherwise unoccupied hand pins his hips against the wall.

“Love these,” you muse.

Caressing the supple skin of his powerful thighs, you feel him throb wantonly in your hand.

You sink your teeth into the muscle. All pressure, no pain. 

There’s a garbled groan from above you.

“Baby, please,” Namjoon pants, “We don’t have much time”

You inspect his cock as it pulses in your grasp. “Oh, I think you’re only gonna need a few minutes,” you cackle.

An endearing flush spreads across his cheeks, dimples flashing as he chuckles along goodnaturedly. “Well, my girlfriend is very hot,” he argues.

You gulp, trying not to go rigid while holding his length in your hand. Neither of you had explicitly labeled your relationship, opting to silently agree that you were exclusively seeing each other.

Rather than stutter out a response, you stuff his cock deep into the wet heat of your mouth, wrapping your lips around him the way he likes. 

Namjoon’s hands immediately push your hair back and hold it in a makeshift ponytail as you sink down his length. He’s not about to miss the visual of you blowing him.

Holding him by the base, you bob up and down, gagging lightly as he slides down the back of your throat. You try to relax, inviting him into the depths of your mouth and coating him in a sheen of saliva.

“Fuck,” he moans, feeling you increase the suction around his shaft.

Your hand begins pumping what won’t fit in your mouth, suckling around the crown and urging him towards his climax.

“Baby, look at me, eyes up” he pants over you, unraveling quickly with your enthusiastic servicing of his cock.

You lift your heady gaze up to meet his desperate eyes. Brows pinched with his lower lip held hostage between his teeth. He’s so close.

Your mouth focuses on his sensitive tip, hand furiously working his shaft. His legs quake with his impending release.

With an obscene groan, Namjoon cums, erupting in your mouth. You continue to suckle at him, hand slowing down but pumping leisurely to help him ride out his high.

You do your best to hold his load without immediately swallowing the unsavory fluid.

“You know what I wanna see,” he whines, encouraging you to open wide.

Namjoon moans in appreciation, seeing his seed fill your mouth as you swipe your tongue through his cum to lick at your lips. You swallow most of it and let the rest dribble down your chin and onto your chest.

Knock, knock, knock.

“Namjoon-ah! Are you still changing?” comes the tinkling of Jin’s voice.

Fuck. 

You urgently flip through the rack of Namjoon’s clothing to find something to clean up with. Pulling a semi-plain shirt from its hanger, you wipe down his wilting cock and leave him to tuck himself back into his briefs as he pulls up his pants.

Cleaning off your mouth and chin and the residual cum off your chest, you haphazardly replace the top on its hanger and try to shake feeling back into your feet.

You check your watch again. Six minutes to show time. You smirk.

“Break a leg, bubs” you smile up at him and push him toward the door with a parting good-luck-kiss.

You watch happily from backstage as the group performs another stellar show. The crowd cheers when Namjoon makes a joke about his opened fly. Choreography and vocals all flow smoothly as the night unfolds, leading up to the final few songs.

The seven men pile into the dressing room for a final change for the encore when there’s a ghastly shriek.

“What the actual fuck,” Jin hollers. 

Several pairs of eyes look over to Jin as he gingerly inspects an article of clothing.

Oh no.

No, no, no.

Jin looks from his soiled shirt, to you, and back down to the shirt he’s supposed to change into.

You had forgotten you had worn lipstick tonight. And it was smeared all over Jin’s top along with residual ejaculate and spit that had begun to flake as it dried.

Incriminating at best, evidence at worst.

“What’s your lipstick and whateverthefuckthisis doing on my shirt? Why was Namjoon’s zipper down all through the first half of the show? And why did Namjoon-ah get all pissy when I tried to set you up with Sejin-hyung last week?” he fires off suspiciously, eyes darting back and forth between the two of you.

The room falls dead silent and all you hear is the pounding of blood between your ears.

“Because all of this is not coincidence,” Jin continues, gesturing wildly.

“I'm with Namjoon,” you confess quietly. 

The room erupts in hoots and hollers, I told you’s, and all you see is Namjoon beaming at your admission, happy to finally love you officially and publicly.

#namjoon fanfic #namjoon x reader #namjoon scenario #namjoon smut #btsghostiemarathon #blow #job #secret dating au

[lucy90712]

Wilbur soot- your new boyfriend

we- 2217

A/n I’m really like this one so hope you guys do too

~ Wilbur soot - Your New Boyfriend  (OFFICIAL VIDEO)

10,400,000 views

Wow. That's a hell of a lot of views. My friend Wilbur just realised his new song yesterday and it's doing so well I'm so proud of him, I know he worked really hard on this song and filming the music video which he roped me into helping with. I have listened to it about a million times that I know every chord off by heart even though I don't play music its just ingrained in my head now.

I felt like listening to it when I got up this morning while I brushed my teeth and washed my face so that's what I did. This time I really listened to the lyrics and I really took them in instead of it just becoming a blur and I had a realisation that may be really stupid.

Me and Wilbur have been friends since we were 17 when we went to college and had always kind of flirted with each other because thats just the type of friendship we had, a lot of people thought we were dating but we never officially moved past being friends even though at some points I wanted to. When we finished college we both went to different universities but they weren't far from  one another so we often used to see one another but of course life was different. By different I mean I got a boyfriend which meant that the flirting stopped and the connection between us kind of crumbled but we reconnected a few years later which brings us to pretty recently. Just a few months ago I broke up with the before mentioned boyfriend because he cheated on me and overall became not a great guy.

You see now I have put my brain to listening to lyrics I can't help but wonder even just a little bit if the song is about me. Now I know that sounds very narcissistic and self centred but the story just seems to match so well and yes the song is meant to be comical and satirical but there is something in my brain telling me that there is a slight real life influence there.

Now I'm really nervous because I'm going to Wilbur's place in a few hours and I don't know if I can just forget about this because of course it can be nothing and just a coincidence but that chance that it is something is really bugging me. Wilbur is definitely going to notice if I act weird which is what I'm really worried about because I don't want to have to talk about it.

Another predicament that I have now subjected myself to is the slight feelings I have for Wilbur which feels so wrong because it's not been that long since I broke up with my last boyfriend but I can't help it. Wilbur was there from the moment we broke up and helped me get over it and doing that while we rebuilt our friendship just made our connection grow deeper and give it a new meaning to me. It's not something new either just because if the closeness there was many times in the past that I had feeling for Wilbur but just never did anything about it because I always felt like he never felt the same. Wilbur had always been the first one to say that we weren't dating when people asked or suspected something.

I wanted to look nice for when I went to Wilbur's because most of the time especially recently he has seen me crying or just looking like a mess. I decided to wear my black acid wash mom jeans and a cute crop top that a friend made for me because she loves fashion and felt that I needed a new look after my breakup. To complete the look I even put on a little bit of makeup but not a whole lot because I have never been one to wear loads of makeup and I styled my hair which I may have cut since the last time I saw Wilbur because I felt the need to just get rid of some of it but it was still cute.

It got to 1:30 and I got my shoes on to begin my walk to Wilbur's place which isn't that bad once you get used to it which I am by now but I always have to be listening to something to stop the noise of the traffic driving me crazy. As usual my everyday playlist went on shuffle but of course it had to do me dirty by playing jubilee line which don't get me wrong is a great song and I love it  but right now I don't need to be reminded of the war going on in my brain in fact I'm trying to forget about it until I get there at least. My playlist really was being a bit of a bitch today because every few songs it would play one of Wilbur's songs just after I had forgotten about things from the last song.

By 2pm I was just down the road from Wilbur's house and my hands were starting to get a bit clammy from the nerves building in my body, despite this I had to go in because I did not walk all this way to back out and go all the way back home. I got to the door and rang the doorbell then waiting for a figure to appear and open it, this didn't take long so before I knew it Wilbur was right in front of me giving me a big bear hug which he is so good at.

He welcomed me in and dragged me up the stairs to his bedroom so that we don't annoy his roommates. Like always the two of us sat on the floor because we are just those types of people although it did start when we were in college and we used to do homework and revision together, those were the good old times when we had no issues in our friendship. He grabbed something from under his bed and put it in between the two of us, it was a monopoly board which is just so typical of Wilbur.

"Come on you can't tell me you don't want to play like we used to all the time" he said

"You're right I'm not going to say that so let's bring it on I may have practiced a few times so prepare to lose" I joked

He shook his head at me and we set up the game both prepared to try and absolutely destroy one another. This didn't go to plan because I quickly made some bad decisions which put me in a very bad place to the point that if I were to land on any square that Wilbur owned I would be out the game but I still had hope. I was right to have hope because the game quickly turned around because I made it past go without landing on any of Wilbur's squares however he had didn't have that luck and landed on pretty much every square of mine and having to give me a large chunk of his money. The game soon ended when Wilbur couldn't recover from the hit of the last round and quickly ran out of money and I became victorious.

"Yes I told you I'd been practicing" I said

"What is that the 4th time you've beat me out of all the times we played" Wilbur tormented

"Oh shut up and let me have this" I said

"Ok ok but next time I'm for sure going to beat you" he said

After that we just kind of laid down next to each other looking at the ceiling as it if were the sky Which really reminded me of one of my favourite memories that I have. One night after the both of us had finished our last exams at uni I went to meet Wilbur and we walked around London during the dead of night and then laid down on a grass patch to stare at the starts which were unusually visible for the city sky. Nothing particularly special happened just the thrill of being done with uni and galavanting around the city when it felt like we shouldn't be out made it so memorable.

I was quickly dragged out of my memory when something brushed against my hand and stayed in contact with my pinky finger, I tilted my head to see what was going on which would of been pretty obvious but Wilbur's hand was right next to mine with our pinky's overlapping. This made my heart start thumping and my forgotten thoughts from earlier come to the forefront of my brain yet again. It's the most ridiculous thing that I'm so caught up on it and too scared to say anything out of fear of ruining my reconciled friendship when I know that no matter what I say nothing will change between us because it hasn't before even when we kissed that time.

Flashback

The bottle stopped spinning with one end pointed at me and the other at Wilbur. Oh shit. This can't happen it really can't. What if this changes everything and things become awkward? I can't live without Wilbur I spend all my spare time with him and even time when I should be revising or doing homework.

I'm never going to forgive myself if I do this and it changes our friendship but at the same time I have to do it or that will make me look like a loser and will probably fuel the rumours that the two of us are secretly dating although doing it isn't going to help that much either. I could see the same dilemma going through Wilbur's mind but we gave each other a look and went for it.

The both of us leant in letting our lips meet gently to start with before some of the other guys pushed out heads closer together. I won't lie the kiss was nice and felt like along time coming really with the amount that the two of us harmlessly flirt but it also didn't feel like there was the right meaning behind it. You could tell that we were both worried about changing the friendship and so there was no real meaning behind the kiss.

End of flashback

Now that was a terrifying day. This felt different though there was no one willing us on and there has been no pressure on us to date for years now that it is just natural and not forced which made it feel all the more special. I decided to just go for it and if it goes wrong then oh well at least I tried and can never wonder what my life would be like if I'd of just followed my heart.

I laced our pinky's together fully making sure my grip was tight enough that Wilbur got the message which he responded to quickly by moving his hand out of mine for a split second before grabbing hold of my whole hand and lacing all of our fingers together. He squeezed my hand turning his head to look me directly in the eyes which made my neves spike for a second before I got control again and stared back at him. I couldn't help but let out a small nervous laugh which I noticed causes a small smile on Wilbur's face.

"You know your face is just so pretty" he said

"Is this you trying to say something? I questioned

"Maybe but it depends on if you want to hear it" he said

"I definitely want to hear it" I replied

"Well if it wasn't obvious by now I have some feeling for you and honestly I have on and off for ages but I get if its too soon" he said

"It's not too soon and in fact the timing couldn't be better" I said

We exchange no more words for the time being and instead sat up leaving into kiss each other for the second time in our lives but it was definitely different this time. This time there was true feelings behind it that weren't nerves they were true feelings of adoration and even maybe just a little bit of love but it's too soon to tell that yet. He needed no encourage this time to deepen the kiss instead he put all of his energy into it from the start to show how much he really meant what he was saying. The two of us pulled apart after what felt like an eternity but in reality it was no more than 20 seconds.

"Wow just wow" I said

"That about sums it up" Wilbur said

"I have to ask because its been bugging me is your new boyfriend about me?" I asked

"Yeah it is I'm surprised you didn't realise sooner how may time of you heard it" he joked

"But lets forget that can I be your new boyfriend?" He asked

"Of course you can but you might need to write a new song" I said

#wilbur x reader #wilbur #wilbur soot #mcyt #dsmp #your new boyfriend #ycgma

[asset35-maya]

MANMADE FATE

Summary: Connor and Gavin find an unresponsive RK900 android in an abandoned Cyberlife warehouse and take him home to fix. (Not so subtle plot twist: both of them fall in love with their secret science project)

//

PART ONE OF THREE:

The crew from Jericho led a successful revolution but there’s still a lot of work to be done. Markus may have won human hearts and gotten the federal government to back down, but Cyberlife is still at large.

Sure, hundreds of androids at the Tower escaped to march on the streets behind Connor, but that was just a little dent in the big machine. Cyberlife has tons of intellectual property and assets that could easily put them back in power.

Simon and Markus insist they can work with the authorities to regulate and ring-fence the massive corporation. Josh agrees. North laughs in their faces.

She goes to find the only other Jericho member who still has any grit left.

Connor.

The daring, brazen RK800 who stared down death and spat in the face of destruction. He blinks at her in polite confusion when she tells him what she wants to do, but the fiery LED tells her everything she needs to know.

They hatch plans behind Markus’ back. They steal and stockpile biocomponents. They sneak into the Tower to encrypt Cyberlife’s R&D files with codes that only RK algorithms can break. A few other Tracis join them and they slowly start gaining an edge.

Their schemes start getting grander and one night something goes wrong. North is shot.

Connor carries her to the only safe place he knows other than his stasis pod in Hank’s dilapidated garage. The DPD Central Station.

It’s way past midnight. It’s deathly quiet. Connor is sure no one will see them, and he can easily tamper with the security cameras.

What he doesn’t bank on is the over-caffeinated loser still bent over his desk in the bullpen.

A noise from the archive room breaks through the quiet. Quelling his fear of the supernatural, Gavin stands up shakily and goes to investigate. He flips on the light and sees blue everywhere.

Connor is bent over a badly damaged Traci and three other girls with identical tear-streaked faces are on their knees beside her.

Chocolate brown eyes meet storm green beseechingly, their rivalry forgotten in that moment of desperation.

Before he realizes it, Gavin is moving. He takes several packs of thirium out of the fridge and grabs the Department’s toolkit, praying that whatever’s in there can help.

Old engineering knowledge kicks in and Gavin’s hands join Connor’s over the cracked chassis, pulling out damaged tubing and securing the leakages. It takes a while, but North is patched up. She first recoils in absolute terror at the human man hunched over her but regains composure at Connor’s touch… interface. She nods briefly to express her gratitude, somehow regal and intimidating even after being so vulnerable. Gavin decides he likes this proud and brave creature.

He drives them all back to his apartment for the night. They’ll take North to a technician first thing in the morning and get her back to New Jericho before Markus even notices. Adrenaline pumps through Gavin’s veins. He hasn’t felt a thrill like this in years, not since… not since…

“How did you know exactly where to put your hands?”

“Eh?”

“A layman would have broken that biocomponent trying to take it out.”

“You know I’m not exactly a layman.”

“I also know they don’t cover Cyberlife’s proprietary designs in engineering school.”

Gavin stays quiet. Connor puts a hesitant hand on his shoulder, poised to jump away immediately should the detective revert to his usual self.

“Thank you. For everything you just did for us. I don’t know how to repay-”

“I want in.”

“What?”

“Whatever you’re doing. I can help.”

Connor cocks his head. His LED goes berserk.

They make a great team. Gavin and Connor. North’s best men. Who the fuck would have thought. Breaking into high-security locations using police databases and surveillance resources. Covering for each other during extended absences from work. They start to take down Cyberlife in a such a precise manner, it’s almost surgical. The dissection of a multibillion dollar business.

Gavin has an intimate understanding of android technology and an even closer intuition of Cyberlife’s overall strategy. Connor thinks he understands why. There’s an undeniable resemblance between the only two men on earth whose motivations evade his understanding. But of course it’s just a coincidence that Elijah Kamski and Gavin Reed have the same jawline... facial structure... voice.

Connor says nothing... and Gavin is quietly thankful for that. And the chance to finally live the kind of exciting life he dreamt of since he was a little boy. To make a real difference. Just as he wanted to before it all went wrong.

Somewhere along the way, they grow close. Gavin and Connor. Two rival cops turned vigilante comrades turned something else... It’s hard to pinpoint when exactly it happened... perhaps sometime between the cup of coffee placed tentatively on Gavin’s desk the morning after North's near-fatal injury and the heated kiss they dragged each other into after a particularly dangerous mission.

North is unsurprised. She doesn’t bat an eye when the usually unruffled RK800 shows up to planning meetings shirtless and disheveled. Her lips even twist into a little smile as he drapes himself slovenly over the only human at the table.

Things fall into a pattern. A good one. Several months from where they started, Cyberlife share prices have fallen to an all time low and other tech enterprises have begun to move in, circling the troubled company like sharks. If North’s next heist goes to plan, the last shred of IP that brands Cyberlife as a robotics company will be out in the public domain for all to take.

 She is rapturous as she swings in through the broken window and rolls into a crouched position. Gavin and Connor follow her cautiously through the abandoned warehouse, weapons drawn and eyes roving. 

“What the fuck!” 

Connor throws a protective arm in front of Gavin, shielding him with his chassis. But North’s cry was merely one of disappointment. 

“Shit! We wasted so much effort. There’s nothing here!”

Where they had expected to find a secret server room or a high-tech vault containing the crux of Cyberlife’s groundbreaking designs... was a single android storage pod. North restrains herself from kicking it in frustration. She gestures harshly at it before leaving in a huff. 

“It’s occupied. Wake them up, Connor, whoever they are. It’s still our duty to set free any androids we find.”

Gavin tries to catch her arm in a conciliatory gesture but she shakes the human off easily. He shrugs at Connor and inclines his head at the android in the pod. Unfortunately, North’s annoyance has brushed off on the RK800. He glares through the broken window the Jericho leader has just jumped out of.

“Don’t you think she bosses me around a little too much?”

Gavin sighs and walks over to the pod, looking for the latches to open it. His boyfriend has a problem with authority... and so has he to be honest.

“Better her than Fowler, dontcha think?” 

“Hmmpff. At least Fowler doesn’t lead us on wild goose chases.”

“Come on, babe. None of us saw this coming. We really thought this was it. Maybe we’re at a decoy location? Let’s go back to the drawing board after we wake this guy... or girl up.” 

“You’re awfully chipper for someone who just scaled a building for nothing.” 

Gavin shakes his head as he smiles to himself. It’s true. Even the worst days with North’s crew are better than his best days at the DPD. Maybe it’s because he’s finally doing what he was born for. Using the knowledge and skills that practically run through his veins. Maybe its the man by his side.

He gets the pod open and steps sideways to avoid the swing of the door, and freezes.

“Babe.”

No response.

“Dipshit.”

“Hmm. Give me a second.” 

“Take a minute. You’re going to want to brace yourself for this one.”

The android lying peacefully within the pod is a stranger with a face entirely too familiar to Gavin. A face he was just looking at. A face he’d recognize anywhere, even without skin.

“Are their battery levels- holy shit.”

Connor’s LED spins faster and faster as he registers the sight.

“I thought there were no surviving RK800s apart from you and that grumpy SWAT guy Sixty.” 

“This... this isn’t an RK800.” 

Connor traces the serial number printed on the android’s cheekbone. RK900. 

“Shit. Did you know this model existed?” 

“No, did you?”

Gavin shakes his head. He hadn’t been privy to Cyberlife’s inner decision-making for nearly fifteen years, but he always answered Connor’s persistent questioning without losing patience. Honesty was what kept them together despite the hundreds of reasons to fight and fall apart.

“What should we do? If he’s your successor, I’m not sure waking him up is the safest thing for you to do...”

“We can’t leave him here, Gav. He’s probably been here from before the Revolution. That’s more than a year of being in a box. It’s not... fair...” 

“He’s not deviant, babe. We don’t know what his programming is like.”

“It doesn’t matter. I can turn him.”

Gavin sees the look in Connor’s eyes and knows he’s made up his mind already. He steps aside, hand flitting to the holster on his waist. 

Connor takes an unnecessary breath and reaches for RK900′s forearm with his synth skin retracted. His fingers hover over the motionless android for a moment and then he makes contact. Gavin tenses. 

Nothing happens. The RK900′s LED remains unlit. There is no sign of life.

The couple look at each other automatically. Their instinctive reaction when the inexplicable occurs. 

“Is he-”

“No, I don’t see any damage. I think he’s never been activated. Not even for quality testing.” 

“Did you see a request for manual code input? Did any interface pop up at all?” 

“I can only see that his power systems are functioning.” 

“And his thirium pump?” 

“Not active. No compressions at all.”

Connor presses both his palms down on the RK900′s face. Still nothing. He looks up, defeated, with a furrow forming between his brows.

“Help.”

Gavin scratches at his stubbled chin. He peers closer. The perfect face is so calm. So familiar. So... magnetic? His apprehension is replaced by intrigue.

“Huh. Okay. I could take a look... but I don’t wanna try using the computer set-up here. Can’t take a chance... leave any traces...”

“We could take him home.”

Storm green eyes lock with chocolate brown. There’s something in the depths of each pair that’s mirrored in the other. 

It’s foolish. It’s a waste of time. It’s a risk. North would probably smack the two of them if she knew. 

But the night ends with them gently lowering the unconscious android onto the squashy sofa in Gavin’s living room.

#reed1700 #reed900 #reed800 #convin #dbh connor #gavin reed #rk900 #dbh nines #dbh north #dbh writing #my writing #Reed1700 MANMADE FATE

[capitainelevi]

For @pufferssss, happy late birthday!! ❤️

Waiting for sunrise

Words: 2968

The first and last time Levi visits Petra`s grave.

Levi arranged his cravat again, self-conscious at the thought of visiting her for the first time. He stood frozen in place, with a bouquet of orange lilies in his hand. Her favorite flowers. Just a mere coincidence, not an effort on his part, of course. He never imagined he would visit her here so early on. Staring at the newly carved headstone, he tried to set aside the nagging thought that the earth underneath it only held an empty coffin.

What should he say to her?

“Your dad came to see me after the mission, and I had to tell him that I don`t even have a body to bring back home to him”?

“I failed in getting justice for you and the guys”?

“I miss your tea”?

The only words he could spurt out were “Hi, Ral.”

He groaned at his awkwardness and settled on presenting her with the flowers he chose for her. He could feel his hands getting sweaty from anxiousness, much to his confusion. He had nothing to be nervous about. It was just Petra in front of him. His subordinate. Petra, who fought by his side for years. Who swore to devote her life to him. Just his Petra.

Levi sat on the ground next to the gravestone, unconcerned about the dirt he would have to clean out of his clothes at the end of the day. “I hope you can hear me, wherever you are. I like to think you`re listening.” He never spent much time concerning himself with death and the life that supposedly followed it, but ever since losing them as well, he found himself wishing they were happy. He knew that those brats would be wasting the rest they earned to look over him, no matter how much he objected.

“I hope you like the spot I chose for you. It`s sunny, but you also get some shade from the tree. I thought you`d like listening to birds singing." On their free days, he could always spot Petra with a book on her lap, under the shade of the oak tree in their yard. He never dared to bother her, worried he would disturb the angelic aura of the image, content with being fortunate enough to catch a glimpse of it. He never dared get so close to the sun.

"I`m going to bring some flowers we can plant next time I visit. I know you had a green thumb.” Levi omitted in letting her know it only took a month for the plant in his office that she cared for years to wither away in his care. Or maybe it just knew Petra would never be back.

Levi closed his eyes, lulled to sleep by the quietness around him and the feeling of the afternoon sky on his skin, considering if someone would bother him if he moved to the tree trunk to nap. He craved some peace.

“I`m sorry I didn`t get to come earlier. You missed a real shit show in Sina.” He took a glance at his wounded leg and sighed. “It`s not as bad as it looks, no need to mother me.”

Without raising his eyes from the ground in front of him, Levi admitted to her in a hoarse voice- “I kept calling out orders for you, and Erwin had to remind me that you`re not here anymore. Like I could ever fucking forget.”

Despite the emptiness in his chest, he went on- “Eren misses you. I really wish you could help me manage that brat. You always knew what to say to him. Hange misses you. I… everyone misses you.” They left a hole behind that he doubted he would ever patch.

Levi cleaned off some dust from her headstone before promising her he would be back as soon as he could.

As promised, the second time Levi visited her, he got her some daisies to plant next to her resting place. After wiping his hands clean on a rag, Levi sat down against the tree trunk to admire his work. He was sure Petra would be proud of the progress he made regarding gardening. He had even gotten a new plant to replace the one on his desk.

“Tch, not talkative today, are we? That`s alright, you know I always talk a lot.”

Visiting her calmed his restless spirit. His anxiety over the plan, his worry over Erwin`s wellbeing, his longing to have his old squad by his side again, they were all pilling up for the last few days. Levi found himself losing even more sleep lately. But he would never tell her that since it would most likely end in another one of her scoldings.

“You`re missing it, the final push. The brat`s finally going to do it, he`s going to seal the Wall.” Levi hoped that they would be able to carry out the mission. That his squad`s sacrifice to keep Eren alive would not have been in vain.

“You`re not being fair, are you? You already know what we will find in the basement, and yet you keep it all to yourself. Tch, be like that.” Would it all be worth it? The pain, the countless sacrifices, and the lives lost along the way? He wished Petra could answer that for him.

He never wanted to upset her, but Petra always encouraged him to let others help him carry the burden. Levi took a deep breath before speaking again- “I think Eren misses you. He`s been going on about how he wants to visit you again. Bring you flowers. To help me maintain this place clean." Levi rolled his eyes again and the memory. "Like I would ever need his help with that.”

Levi took the ribbon out of his pocket and started fiddling with it, ignoring the slight pang of guilt at how he came into its possession.

“I hope you won`t mind I took that.” The first night he spent without them, Levi found himself roaming the empty corridors of the castle. When his steps took him in front of Petra`s door, the urge to hold on to something physical to remember her overtook his sense of shame. He was aware that her belongings would go back to her parents in the next few days, but he hoped the red ribbon Petra used to tie her hair with would not be missed.

“I took your patch at first. I was going to keep it in my breast pocket. To have a reminder of your sacrifice. But when I saw that kid eaten up by guilt, I knew what I had to do. I knew what you would have wanted me to do with it.” He had no regrets about that. It was the perfect way to honor the kindest soldier the Survey Corps ever had.

When the light began to fade, Levi got up from his spot and left without saying another word to Petra. He did not want to say goodbye to her. Levi felt no need for it since death could be in his cards the next day. And he could get to see her again sooner than he thought.

The third time Levi visited her, it was not with a flower bouquet in his hand but with a bottle of cheap alcohol he found on Moblit`s desk. That night, Levi allowed grief to consume him.

"Erwin died. But I have a feeling you know that already, don`t you?" Levi wiped his nose with the back on his hand, too absorbed in his anger to even care about the disgusting habit.

"Are you mad at him? Are you mad that he chose to sacrifice your life?"

But only silence greeted him.

"Are you mad that I didn`t even question it?"

No answer again. The rage burning inside him overtook him, and Levi smashed the bottle against the headstone.

"Shit. I`m sorry, I shouldn`t have done that." Levi crouched down and collected the pieces of the bottle into his handkerchief. The grief, the anger, and now the shame for denigrating her place of rest were eating him alive.

"We found out the truth, you know? It`s a shitty world out there, Ral. But I have a feeling not even that would have cut off your wings."

Levi found himself craving touch. Her touch. And for the first time in his life, he felt the need to be comforted. He smiled to himself bitterly. How cruel must the deity who created him be for making him desire the impossible?

The fourth time Levi visited her, he brought a special gift for her. A small, odd thing that Armin called seashell.

“We saw the sea today. Just a big old pile of saltwater. But you would have loved it.”

Seeing the brats play in the water with carefree smiles on their face made him yearn for a glimpse of amber hair in the picture. He missed them all dearly.

“I would have to pull you out of it by the collar of your shirt, I bet.” For as devoted and strict as she was, Petra always seemed to cause him distress. Not that he minded it, of course. Levi found himself wishing to hear her timid knocks on his door again, even in the middle of the night. He longed for those times, where she shyly approached him after needing his help in whatever problem she found herself stuck in again.

While that was not his intention when he first came to her, his heart was heavy with words he never said to her. "The world hates us, Ral." He could never imagine how someone would ever detest someone as kind as Petra just for the blood running in her veins. But if he had to be true to himself, a part of him hated Petra as well.

"Maybe I hate you too."

Petra broke his promises to him, after all. Two years ago, when death was imminent on an expedition, and Petra put down her swords in acceptance, Levi fought with her. He made her promise she would make it to the end. That she would be by his side the day they kill the last titan.

"Do you remember your promises to me? Such bullshit. Never thought you were a liar, Petra."

But Levi knew she would have never left him had she had a choice. That she would have fought for even just a second more by his side. But it never dulled the pain of losing her.

With a heavy heart, Levi said his goodbye for the evening, guilty for blaming her for things out of her control.

The fifth time Levi visited her, it was snowing outside.

It was always a wonder how someone radiating light and warmth could be a winter child. But Levi was sure he memorized the date right. It was an important one for him, after all. Levi fought to make sure he had enough time to get ready for celebrating her birthday. She deserved nothing more than a perfect day. Hange had been more than understanding, the wound left by losing Moblit still fresh in their heart.

Levi put the bouquet of twenty-two golden roses on the frozen ground. “Happy birthday. Twenty-two, huh? You`re turning into an old woman, Ral.” The irony of his words made a slight pang of guilt rise in his chest. The passing of time would never touch her again.

“I have your favorite”- he said, lightly shaking the box containing a small vanilla cake. Sugar was a rarity, but getting a cake was an unspoken rule in his squad. Their lives were too short to worry about the money. The first thing Levi noticed about Petra was the faint flower smell emanating from her. The first thing after setting his eyes on her clean nails, of course. On her first birthday that they celebrated as a squad, Levi gifted Petra a bottle of scented body lotion. And some high-quality cleaning rags, of course. But she did not pay attention to that. She and the rest of the Survey Corps never knew how to appreciate the finer things in life. But Levi did not miss the way her face lit up when he noticed something she enjoyed.

“I could never understand your sweet tooth, but today, I`m going to have a slice of cake.” Levi always refrained from indulging in this vice. Having grown unaccustomed to sugar, the idea of sweetness was unappealing to him. He always felt bad for disappointing her each year when she sat in front of him, with a small piece of cake she had cut for him. “Or two slices. Two is more appropriate anyway. If I get cavities, it`s on your ass.”

The ground was too cold for him to sit down on, and Levi made a mental note to build a small bench close to her headstone. He opened the box and eyed the cake wearily, considering if he should change his mind. He took a small bite of the cake, and he almost choked on it. “Oi, this is so damn sweet. How the fuck could you eat so much of it?” But it did not stop him from finishing his slice.

Levi expected to find some flowers lying in the snow or at least some tracks leading up to her grave.

“Does your old man still come around? I`ve never crossed paths with him since the expedition.” Sometimes, when he closed his eyes at night, he could still recall Mr. Ral`s pained expression when he realized there was no one left for him to wait for.

“Maybe it`s for the best. I bet he doesn`t want to see me again.” To see the face of the man who was supposed to protect his daughter. The face of the man his daughter wanted to devote her life to. The man who could not even bring him a body home to bury.

“I`m a shit. Ruining your birthday with talk like this.” Levi was never good at this. In his spot, Eld would have teased Petra about her first expedition. Tell her how now that she was a big girl, she ought to refrain from soiling herself again. Petra would turn red from embarrassment and elbow Eld in the ribs. Gunther would point out that despite their age, they are still children. And proceed with teasing Petra himself. Oluo would try to defend Petra`s honor to gain her attention, which would make him the target instead. Levi gave a small smile at the thoughts. He missed them dearly, more than he would ever care to admit.

Levi crouched down and cleared the layer of snow covering her headstone. He ran his finger alongside the letters of her name, wishing he would have had more opportunities to write it down.

“Happy birthday again, brat.”

The last time he visited her, Levi had company. Gabi and Falco did not give it another thought before offering to help him see her again before they would all leave for a new life. A better life, he hoped. But without her by his side, it was never going to be perfect. Gabi set down the flowers before they gave him privacy. While they never asked him about who she was, they knew Levi must have cared for her a great deal.

"Hi, brat. It`s been a while."

He had so much to say to her, and yet, he did not know where to start. A part of him expected to join her during the last battle, but fate always had something new in store for him. Levi was uncertain if it was luck by his side or a curse to watch everyone he ever cared about die. But life was looking brighter, and Levi promised himself he would never lose anyone again.

"Are Hange and Erwin with you now? How about the guys?" He wished for nothing more than to be there by their side. But Levi knew they would never forgive him if he did not try to live the remainder of his life to the fullest. And for them, he would try.

"Does Oluo still bite his tongue? Did he try to flirt with you again? Is Eld still teasing you? Does Gunther still treat you as a little sister?" Levi chuckled at the memory of their antics. He learned the hard way that he never appreciated them enough before he lost them.

"I hope there is an afterlife. I hope it`s peaceful. You all deserve it. Such a shitty end..." He closed his eyes and sighed at the words coming out of his mouth. "I`m sorry, I didn`t mean it. But you already knew that. I was always an open book to you."

Levi felt guilty for leaving the home they bled for behind, but if he were truthful, it had not felt like home to him for years. With no one left by his side, nothing was keeping him in Paradise anymore. While neither of them voiced it out, he had dreamed of a future with Petra by his side. And for her, he would try to live a long and happy life. Before he got to be with her.

"I`m sorry... for the future I never got to offer you. The one you deserved. I`m sorry for the house I never got to build for us, for the vows we never got to take, for the brats that will never play in my backyard." Levi knew Petra would encourage him to find love, but he never would again. He could never imagine a future by someone else`s side.

Levi glanced back at her grave for one last time before he set out for the remainder of his life- "I`ll see you soon. Wait for me."

ao3

#petra ral #rivetra #rivetra fanfiction #rivetra fanfic #my writing