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yourmcu · 21 days
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welcome home, red | natasha romanoff
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synopsis: natasha knew going on a mission where you were deliberately left out was a bad idea. going on a mission tracking down your ex-girlfriend was even worse; for natasha finally learns how jealous she can get.
natasha romanoff x reader | felicia hardy x reader
word count: 6.7k words
a/n: i see your requests for jealous!natasha with spidey!reader, and i got you :) hope you enjoy!
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BREAKING NEWS: CURIOSITY KILLS THE CAT? you know what they say, strike when the iron is hot! well, the black cat, infamous for her string of break-ins and robberies, may have struck the iron and burned herself. stealing a prized necklace from the wife of new york’s biggest crime boss, the black cat has certainly outdone herself this time, because silvio manfredi is out for her head, and everyone else’s too! read more on page 6 of this exclusive piece. 
perplexed expressions, furrowed eyebrows, sighs of frustration. everyone was on edge, at the threat of the manfredi family wanting to blow up entire parts of new york in order to find the black cat. villains were so dramatic, natasha thought. in no universe would she have ever wanted to threaten to kill entire cities for the love of her life, if one even existed. 
but then her phone chimed in with a notification from you, sending a photo of her favourite animal that you spotted on your mission, and she knew she would be retracting her words. even in life-threatening, death-defying missions that you were on, you never forgot to see her everywhere you went. stupid feelings, and stupid crushes, natasha shut her eyes, fighting the urge to giggle at a text from the person she was head over heels for. 
“natasha?”
she looked up from her phone, to realise she was the only one still in a half-positive mood. everyone else was biting their lips in worry. she regained her composure, and answered fury, “yeah?”
“you heard me? we’re not leaking this information to her. she won’t be a part of this mission at all.”
the look of confusion on her face gave her away. clint, maria, and fury answered her at the same time. 
“your little crush.”
“your wife that you claim isn’t.”
“the person you’re smiling at your phone like an idiot at.”
she glared at clint for the last remark. 
“...is there a reason why?” the mission had seemed almost perfectly suited to your skillset. 
fury merely shrugged. “no reason. it should just be you three that are privy to this information, that’s all. find the black cat, find the necklace, use it to rope manfredi in, and one less crime boss off the streets.”
even then, she had a nagging feeling that he had not been telling the truth.
– 
you ended your latest mission with a bang; quite literally. being flung about fifty metres into the air from a bomb explosion in the middle of the ocean, you would hardly call the mission a failure. no civilians were injured, you had killed the maker of the bomb along with it, and you were not dead, at least. 
washing up on shore unconscious and with water in your lungs? a concussion that would have sent any regular person into a permanent coma? being found by villagers and rushed to the medical wing of the avengers tower within a span of a few hours? almost pronounced dead on arrival? sure, you were all of those, but not dead. 
honestly, you would have given very little regard for your own life being lost in that mission if not for one person. the one person who stayed with you until the very last minute for her own mission. 
“i need to stop welcoming you back in a hospital bed, you know,” natasha grumbled into your neck, hugging you bone-crushingly when you awoke and smiled at her. 
she looked mad, but you knew she was just thankful you were home. you wrapped your arms around her waist and brought her to lie down on top of you. she was reluctant to crush your already broken ribs, but you were insistent. “i missed you too. and if i hadn’t been blown up, i had planned to bring back a souvenir from the airport for you.”
“you coming back is enough for me,” she mumbled. you knew she was never this vulnerable with anyone else. the words of because i love you were begging to roll off her tongue, but natasha knew she wasn’t strong enough for that. yet.
you let her ignore the first call for her to assemble at the loading zone, then the second, by the third, your hand had tapped her waist and she had groaned into you once more. “i don’t want to go.”
“what’s this mission about, anyway? nobody’s told me about it since i got here.”
natasha considered her choice of words for a moment, considering whether she should, when fury’s own warnings came back to her. she was never one to break promises. “just some…thing. about retrieving something and using it to lure a criminal.”
you chuckled. “seems like more of a police case than an avenger’s one. or one for a friendly neighbourhood spider.”
“well, the friendly neighbourhood spider looks like a mummy right now, so i don’t think so,” she had reluctantly got up, gathering her things, “i’ll see you in a few days?”
you let her hug you goodbye. “by then, i’ll be fit enough to welcome you home. properly.”
natasha once again found it hard to understand why fury hadn’t just waited for you to get slightly better, and go for this mission yourself, because the black cat’s tricks and games were definitely something you could have handled better than anyone he had assigned on the current team. she struggled to even catch up with the woman, and clint’s arrows often couldn’t squeeze deep enough into the slips and cracks she was slipping through. maria couldn’t even get a shot or trap clear to get to her. it would all have been solved so quickly with your webs zipping and getting to her; not to mention your ability to soar through the skies like she could. 
this was in addition to the fact that she was adamantly denying having the necklace with her. 
with another hit to the face, she was shouting to natasha, “i don’t have what you’re looking for!”
natasha swallowed the blood gathering in her mouth. the woman could throw a punch. “then why are you running?” black cat cornered her this time, slamming her against the wall as her breath mixed with natasha’s. immediately, it was too close, far too close. the grin that the enemy was sporting for her was glinting with mischief, and a trace of attraction. “...if someone as pretty as you were chasing me, with those fiery eyes and red hair of yours, who wouldn’t?” 
she was gone before natasha could catch her next breath, handcuffing the black widow to the pipe next to her. she had come so close. natasha knew the black cat was at her wit’s end as well; there was only so far she could run from the avengers.
however, one thing the woman had failed to consider, was how suspicious you found the entire operation being. rarely had natasha refused to tell you about the missions she was going on, and rarely did fury put so much emphasis in hiding it from you either. 
you weren’t in favour of stalking them, per se, but what were you supposed to do? the hospital wing was boring, and you were (almost) ready to go back to full, operational missions. the broken rib was only hurting a little bit, by that point. 
you watched maria through the tracker in her suit, flipping through yet another string of messages natasha had left unanswered. she never failed to reply to you, at least not beyond a day or two. 
sighing, you put your mask back on, and dived down the building to begin your chase. the team wasn’t far away. 
“we got her. hill should be able to lure her into the construction site.” clint’s comms crackled in natasha’s ear, and she set herself into position. finally, one of the traps maria had set worked. minimal casualties, a faraway location. the team should be able to interrogate her there.
natasha finally caught up. the black cat, panting and looking slightly less composed, had nowhere to run. she knew clint was on the roof, and maria was nearby. there was only the waters behind her to escape to. 
she aimed her gun, then, “let’s make this a lot easier for all of us. you hand us the necklace, you’re looking at a shorter jail term. months, maybe.”
the black cat only returned with another smart retort, before trying to take aim at maria above. she cursed and flinched when the agent successfully dodged. natasha, i am letting the arrow fly if she tries to get any closer to you, clint declared in her comms. natasha agreed. 
the woman took one step closer, natasha clicked her gun. 
“you have to let me go,” she explained, “they want me as bad as you do.”
“you’d rather come with us, or die with them?”
black cat sighed irritatedly. she darted her eyes once more, and the moment she spotted something in the sky, the ground beneath natasha suddenly shook. 
she could only see clint’s arrow fly at the corner of her vision; maria ducking down after something hit her, and then, her own gun flying out of her hands. natasha hit the ground right after, rolling away consciously to avoid whatever had caused the interruption. 
the second she gathered her bearings, however, it felt like time had stopped. her heart began beating rapidly, and she knew she should have just bypassed fury’s advice right away then. if she had, she wouldn’t be dealing with this right now. 
for if she had, natasha wouldn’t be staring down at you, standing in front of the black cat protectively, glaring at the three of them, and their weapons confiscated and broken into pieces right at your feet. 
you had never looked more angry. in fact, natasha had never even seen you this angry before. fists clenched, your stance was protective, the eye lenses narrowed and squinting down at her in rage. she had never been subject to even an ounce of irritation from you before. natasha was almost afraid of what would happen. 
thankfully, clint and maria had come down from where they were, clint with considerably more caution in his step than he had been much earlier.
he called your name, and, “i need you to calm down. we–”
“–i don’t need to hear an explanation.” you cut him off. behind you, the black cat grinned, and came a little closer. you seemed to pay her no mind.
“we couldn’t tell you,” maria tried helping him, but the glare you shot at her wasn’t much better.
“you absolutely could,” then, your eyes met natasha’s, and she wanted to crumble under your gaze, “you absolutely could.”
clint pointed out it wasn’t fair, that you knew how these things went, and then, in a lower tone, “she doesn’t know. let it go.”
“why were you chasing her?” you only replied, shielding the black cat when maria tried aiming her spare gun as the woman came to your side, “we had a deal.”
“our deal didn’t involve her stealing a necklace that could wreck cities. you’ve already seen the bombings down in harlem and hell’s kitchen, do you still want to protect her for this one?” 
your facade cracked in the slightest bit. only natasha noticed, but your eyes had gone slightly wider, a questioning look sent to the woman behind you. with your stance a little more tense, you were about to lower the hand protecting her, when natasha quickly realised that your confrontation had bought her just enough time.
the black cat slung her arms around your torso, and pressed a kiss to your cheek before whispering, “my hero, my spider. always coming to save me.” 
all natasha saw was blind rage before the tear gas that black cat had thrown shrouded everything else in pain and smoke. she could hear clint screaming in frustration of just what it meant.
by the time the team had torn through the gas, you and her were gone.
clint had exactly three seconds to register the mad woman storming towards him, before he was slammed against the wall with natasha’s face up in his. he breathed heavily, the air still thick from the gas, but natasha’s fists were enough to ground him back to reality.
“alright, enough games. i was kind then, i’m not feeling so kind now. who. exactly. is. this. black. cat?” she gritted her teeth saying the last few words, the searing memory of seeing another press her lips against you still fresh in her mind.
if he wasn’t so afraid for his life, clint would almost have found the jealousy and possessiveness natasha claimed she never had over you quite funny. 
but her hands were almost choking him by then, the anger coursing through her veins and the hurt of you keeping such a huge secret from her fuelling only her rage.
had she been a fool for trusting that you would stay loyal in your pure, unbridled love for her all this while? perhaps not. perhaps you, like everyone else, got tired of waiting for her to be ready, too. perhaps you weren’t what she thought you were after all. 
when it was clear the archer couldn’t find the words to tell her, maria answered for him. she pulled natasha away, and forced her to think clearly again.
finally, when she was calm enough to hear the both of them out, maria announced that the black cat, felicia hardy, had been your ex-girlfriend.
while felicia was more than happy to be swinging through the city in your arms again, you were getting more and more anxious; what clint had said still ringing in your ears. surely, felicia wouldn’t do that, she wouldn’t risk her life, and so many others’, like that. surely, she wasn’t so stupid.
you landed abruptly through her apartment window, shattering the glass to her kitchen and throwing the both of you on the ground. felicia groaned at the rough landing, and you had half a mind to apologise for getting distracted and missing the window, but you remembered that you should be even angrier at her.
“what the hell were you doing?” you interrogated, and when it appeared that felicia was keen on escaping, your webs were binding her to the dining room chair. “stealing a necklace, i don’t care. but stealing manfredi’s wife’s necklace!”
“aw, so you do still care about me, spider,” felicia cooed as you took off your mask and sat across from her. you had wanted to shake her in frustration, to give you answers instead of flirting with you once again.
you held your hands out in front of her, and she continued, “bringing me home, swinging through the city, just like we used to. bailing me out from your stupid friends, trying to save the world. you’ve always been a romantic.”
“they’re my colleagues. and my family now too. you…felicia…why?” you still couldn’t wrap your head around why she had decided to steal that necklace, of all things. it was not like she needed the cash, and if she had wanted to find a way to fuck around and feed her kleptomania, there were so many other necklaces that were beautiful, worthy of stealing. surely not manfredi’s.
she shot you a dopey smile, and you sighed in frustration. there was always back and forth with felicia. “spider, spider…”
you stood to clear your head before you would resort to punching her, time being of the essence with so many parts of new york being bombed and her being her usual self around you. heading to her sink, you let the water run; you couldn’t hurt felicia even if you tried. damn yourself for never being able to do so.
but then, her voice was softer, kinder. “...you never considered if what your friends are saying is the truth?”
head hung low, you gazed up to her. the webs were gone, and she was standing over you, though keeping a safe distance. she knew you were still fuming, and confused, and feeling so many things at once. she continued, “you never considered the fact that maybe, just maybe, i didn’t steal the necklace? you blindly trust your friends, just like that?”
your spider senses weren’t tingling. she was being honest. switching off the tap, you turned to face her, and she took off her own goggles, letting her hair down. this was her best attempt at being vulnerable. but you weren’t so quick to fall for it; she had gotten past your defences before. “they’re better at being honest than you are.”
you missed the hurt look that flashed on her face momentarily. then, you stood straighter, a hand gripping the counter as you steadied yourself and what you were about to say. 
shaking your head, you faced felicia with, “this, this, is why we broke up. because you can’t stop lying, and you can’t keep the life of crime behind you. even when i told you i can’t stay with you because of it, even when i told you that…if you gave it all up, i would have done anything, anything, to provide for the both of us. i would’ve even left SHIELD, the avengers, everything, for you.”
felicia bit her lip then, crossing over the threshold between the living room and kitchen, standing before you. you weren’t on your guard anymore. she put up a hand to your cheek, the sharp claws slowly running through soft skin. she could have scratched a permanent scar there and you would have let her.
she could have let her emotions run, but felicia was always better than you were at keeping matters close to her heart guarded. instead, she scoffed, and said, “the red one. out of your friends earlier. i’ve never seen her before.”
“she’s…newer.”
“she’s pretty. smart, capable, quick on her feet.” felicia pointed out. you nodded your head, the thought of natasha being mad, and confused, suddenly sending a wave of guilt through your heart. you shouldn’t have gotten so angry with her. she didn’t know.
“she was also green with jealousy when i kissed you on the cheek,” felicia giggled, and you looked up sharply. she nodded, and continued, “are you and red together now?”
you blinked, almost letting your guard down, almost telling felicia everything. that you wished you were together with red, that you loved red more than you loved anything else, that red was all that you ever wanted. and that red, mostly, was not ready for it all, but you would gladly wait for red until she was. that you would do anything for red. that–
“don’t touch her.” you warned, voice suddenly serious. the hand on your face was removed, a death grip with your own. felicia smiled. 
“so protective, spider. i miss when you were that protective over me.”
she removed her hand from your own, and walked to her bathroom, before bringing out her first-aid kit. clint had shot an arrow that managed to slice past her thigh. you watched as she nursed herself back to health, not flinching even as she invited you to come over to help. 
felicia could tell you had a lot on your mind. bringing up natasha was probably not a good choice. but felicia still cared for you, at the very least, and helped put you out of your misery by saying, later on, “i didn’t steal the necklace, you know. i’m telling the truth.”
your eyes were still fixed on her from where you were in the kitchen. she sighed. “the avengers, and practically everybody else, think it’s me. and of course, i fit the description, i fit the motive, everything. it was so easy to pin it on me and let everyone chase after me. but i didn’t steal the fucking necklace. i found out about it being gone and me being a thief the same time you all did.”
“...then why did you run?”
she scoffed, as if you had just said the stupidest thing in the world. “because they were threatening to kill me, spider. i have the whole world against me. and…and i didn’t have you to come rescue me anymore, i thought. i had to run.”
“when you were innocent?”
“better than being killed by fucking gangsters, right?”
“you could’ve called me.”
she looked up at you. you had sat down in front of her, inspecting the bandages she had wrapped around her thigh. when you slowly unwrapped them to help put them on tighter for her, felicia asked, “...would you have come?”
you didn’t make eye contact with her. but the hand on her thigh was enough reassurance. “you know i would’ve.”
sixty seconds was not a long time. but to felicia, sixty seconds of her own contemplation, her going against her own head and morals, of thinking if it was worth what would come after what she was going to do, felt like forever. she was breathing heavily in the cold night air, your eyes were transfixed on the bandages before you, hand not moving an inch, and she didn’t know what else she was supposed to do. what else she could do. 
so after those sixty seconds, felicia leaned in and kissed you. again. again and again, just like old times, just like all those heists and burglaries you had rescued her from before. your lips tasted the same, the arms around her felt as safe as ever, and when she pushed you into her bedroom and began undressing the both of you, the look of longing, and betrayed love you gave her was one she knew all too well. 
her hips moved against yours that night, hands thrashing and fingers finding their way into each other’s hair, and for a while, felicia knew she was safe again. for a while, the avengers, manfredi and his stupid goons, everyone else, was drowned out by the sound of your moans and cries, and felicia could let go. she finally reunited with her spider, even if just for a night, and what a reunion it fucking was for her.
– 
the next morning, however, you were dressed before she could even lift her head off of the pillow, shaking your head and muttering, “i have to go back. i have to go back. they’ll be looking for me.”
she could tell you were surprised by her interruption of, “and what if they do?”
“they’ll think i’m working with you. and i can’t be seen working with you.”
it felt almost cathartic to say, “fuck you.”
you then turned, a sympathetic look on your face and an apology leaving your lips in the next second. “you know what i mean, felicia.”
“you don’t think i’m telling the truth? that i didn’t steal the fucking necklace?”
you were silent for a while. your hand was crushing the shirt you were holding, deep in thought. if it weren’t for your spider senses, you would have almost missed catching the pillow felicia had thrown at you.
putting the pillow down, you then turned to her again, and said, “i’m giving you the opportunity to prove you’re telling the truth. come back to the avengers tower and work with us on finding the real thief.”
natasha couldn’t believe that you thought bringing felicia back was a good idea. that you thought any part of your plan was a good idea at all. 
it was one of the rare few times that she had voiced out what she thought was a stupid plan; tapping into the black cat’s skills and intel, and trusting her with information, to draw out the real thief of the necklace. it was one of the rare few times she was arguing with you. 
there had been more you’re putting all of us at risk and i don’t see a better solution exchanges between the both of you, each one escalating in intensity. the rest of the team were equally on natasha’s side, with the exception of fury, who had been brought in to weigh in on the situation. you had spent another hour convincing him earlier not to turn felicia in himself.
in the end, he stepped in, and natasha was bound to follow his directions. that didn’t stop her from sporting the most irritated, annoyed look on her face, however, as she brusquely brushed past you and felicia, who looked more than smug that she was temporarily welcomed back to the team. you were about to give chase, when fury instructed you not to. it was best to let natasha calm down first.
“pissed off red to bring me in,” felicia caressed your face then, causing you to bite your lip in annoyance as well, “i’m honoured, spider.”
she could feel herself sinking in jealousy; watching the way you and felicia interacted. 
you helping felicia to put on the comms in her ear and the bulletproof linings in her suit; you used to help natasha with that. even when she had gotten more accustomed to the avengers, even when she could put it on herself by then.
you letting felicia take the seat beside yours in the quinjet. it clearly was natasha’s, it even had her fucking initials carved into the armrest on it, when she was bored on a flight once. truth be damned that fury had requested you to keep felicia on a tight leash, but the seat beside yours? really? it hurt more than it should have, as natasha forced herself to avoid eye contact with you right as she stormed past you. you only realised your mistake a second or two later, seeing her angry charge to the very back of the jet, and you were just about to ask felicia to move the seat in front of yours when natasha had told you to save whatever you wanted to say to her. 
felicia could almost laugh at how nervous, and guilty, you looked all throughout the flight. if she wasn’t so on edge from the mission requirements and having to work in a team herself, she could almost feel a tinge of jealousy that you were treating your new girl better than you had ever treated her, even. red must have been special, she thought, as you finally unbuckled your seatbelt and made the journey to the back when the flight stabilised.
“nat,” you called her uncertainly, fingers digging into your palms as you waited patiently for her to finish chewing out a younger agent to look at you. then, she made eye contact with you, standing by her seat and eyes insecure, and she hated herself for not being able to stay mad at you for long.
still, she had a facade to keep. “what?”
you let out a smile when she came back to your side, gratefully taking the seat beside hers. “i’m sorry.”
“for what?”
“i don’t know,” you had an inkling that you knew what, but you continued, “you’re mad at me. and i’m sorry for the disagreement earlier. i just…i have a plan, alright? and i’m sure it’s going to work, so…i wanted to defend myself. i’m sorry if it made you upset.”
she huffed, rolling her eyes. out of the corner of her eye, however, she could spot you looking even more guilty, and she relented. “you did make me mad.”
“i really am–”
“–but work is work, i know. and i trust your capabilities. you better bring the thief back with a plan, because it’s going to be a lot of paperwork and answering to board members if this doesn’t work out. and i’m not staying up late for all the nights you’re going to do that with you.”
she thought it was stupid how her heart managed to beat impossibly faster as your smile grew, nodding gratefully. “thank you for trusting me.”
then, the both of you spotted felicia unbuckling her seatbelt too, and approaching maria upfront. you made the decision to let the agent handle her for a while, returning your gaze to natasha.
somehow, the both of you managed to blurt out felicia’s name at the same time, both raising the other’s eyebrows. 
“you go first,” natasha declared. you nodded.
“are you okay with her? i know…that you’re not so comfortable working with the enemy. i’ll keep her by my side for the whole mission, and we’ll stay away, so you don’t get bothered so much.”
natasha thought it was amazing how oblivious you were; that the problem was you being too close to felicia, and not close enough to her. that she didn’t want you sticking by felicia’s side, because she was scared she was going to lose you to her instead.
“i…” before she could finish her sentence, however, maria was screaming for you, for felicia had finally annoyed her enough to warrant a restrain back to her seat. that, coupled with the fact that she had stolen maria’s watch without her looking even back at the construction site, and she had finally noticed.
i wish i didn’t have to share you with her, was what natasha wanted to say, as felicia giggled at your rough handling of her back to her seat, attempting to squirm out of your grasp. 
the mole had been from SHIELD; as felicia’s expertise let on. she had data from all around new york, obtained less than illegally, and with the technological expertise from maria, the team managed to crack down just who had been plotting for the downfall of manfredi, and collaterally, new york, all along.
the jet made a ninety degree return after wasting time chasing a lead that had previously run dry, and you  were at the other end of a phone call receiving fury’s wrath at the discovery of there being a mole from SHIELD. you had wanted to tell him it wasn’t so surprising, with the onslaught of rapid new hires, but decided to hold your tongue. 
it was you who finally proved that having felicia onboard was a good idea. coming up with a plan in a span of a few minutes, it was so well thought-out and elaborate, maximising everyone’s skills and covering every single possible outcome for capturing the thief, natasha found herself incredibly endeared with your cleverness; hanging on to your every word as you explained the details to the team gathered around you. 
in fact, her dopey look directed at you was what prompted felicia to snicker, and blurt, “so smitten with our spider now are we, red? earlier you looked like you wanted to bite her head off when she was fighting for me.”
to natasha’s surprise, it was you who stepped in first, “enough, felicia. focus.”
it was all the more attractive, and endearing, when she caught you preventing felicia from leaving later, warning her with a “don’t touch her” again, whatever it meant. natasha had wanted to throw her arms around you and kiss you right in that moment.
with felicia on her right, and you close behind her, natasha was chasing the thief, almost expertly slipping in and out, zigzagging through the maze of buildings surrounding the area. but you knew that the road would end at an intersection, and natasha and felicia would inevitably have to split to take a chance on where the thief would go. 
and while natasha had hoped wholeheartedly that you would take her side, and trust her instincts, her movements faltered when she snuck a look behind to find you gone. in the next second, you were by felicia’s side, helping her whizz through the crowds and getting even closer to the thief as you flew. 
heart beating fast in her chest, she hadn’t noticed how much it hurt to even see you choose someone else, even for a brief moment. you had made the decision that would best benefit the team, she knew, but professionalism didn’t count for the ache in her heart then, as she picked up her pace again and unwillingly round the corner in hopes of cutting off the culprit. 
it was felicia that landed the final blow; catching the thief with a taser sharp enough for you to stop him mid-air, and pinning him to the ground. and after some struggle and maria finally arriving with backup, you were finally relieved of your sudden duties to go on a mission so soon.
catching your breath, you didn’t realise how much your ribs were actually hurting until then. maybe minding your own business the next time wasn’t such a bad idea. 
but then, felicia was by your side, providing a shoulder for you to hold on to for support, as you heaved and pressed your arms against your ribs in an effort to stop it from hurting when you breathed too hard. it was one of the few kind things she had done; the least she could do for you after you’ve helped to clear her name, once again.
you leaned into her support, and upon sensing that her job, and temporary alliance with the avengers, was done, she whisked you away briefly to discuss her options before the actual avengers took matters into their own hands. 
natasha watched from a distance as you walked away in felicia’s arms; understanding how betrayed you could have felt with the avengers, and how painful it must have been to find a mole in the very organisation you had worked for for so long. what she couldn’t understand was how you could possibly be leaving her, when you would be taking her whole heart with you if you left, as well. 
if natasha had more courage, she would have at least tried to stopping you. but she couldn’t, and wouldn’t, ever want to force you to stay. even if it was possibly the last time she was seeing you, even if it meant the possibility of you leaving before she has the chance to tell you she loves you.
her chest was closing in on her, breaths short and restrictive, and natasha knew she had to get away before the world caved in on her.
felicia led you into a clearing, and you forced yourself to let go of her to lean against a wall. you could tell she was looking at you with pity, and bit your lip at the foul taste it left in your mouth. 
“compromised intelligence, your friends at each others’ throats, your own boss not trusting you enough to see me again,” she pointed out, hiding a teasing smirk, “your future’s looking bright, spider.”
“thanks.”
she watched you slide down the wall, the pain exploding on your side. you hated that she sunk to your level, and reached out for your hand. you didn’t know why you let her. her fingers were cold as she held your own. 
“give it up, then. there’s no hope staying now, right?”
you let out a sneer. “then where would i go?”
“with me. come with me. would you be able to do it? give all this up for me now?”
you realised that felicia had suddenly grown more vulnerable; her eyes a little teary and her lip between her teeth. her other hand was helping you hold on to your injury, her touch cold and unsure. a sigh left your lips, knowing her usual teasing glint was gone. this was the felicia you loved most in the past.
but it was not felicia you loved, not anymore. and while you were thankful for the opportunity to love her, and that you didn’t regret what you had with her, you knew your heart was with someone else now. someone who was waiting for you to return home to her, someone who loved you more than you knew of it yourself. 
you slowly removed the hand that was holding your injury, smiling at felicia. she knew.
“red?”
“i have red now. and you and i are better off apart, you know this, felicia,” you held her face in your hands then, tone comforting, “you know i care about you, always have, always will. and thank you, for loving me, and helping us for this mission. but i’m not going anywhere without natasha.”
her claws withdrawn, felicia nodded understandingly. you continued, “keep your head low for a while. manfredi will still be looking for you, so will the police. i’ll try to cover up for you as much as i can, but don’t get into too much trouble. there’s only so much i can do.”
she laughed, getting up as she heard the police sirens approaching. she was sure you had picked up on it much earlier. 
“red really is special, huh?” you nodded at her question, smiling at the thought of going back to natasha later on. 
“bye for now then, spider,” her hair blowing in the wind, felicia almost looked finally at peace. 
“take care, felicia.”
you informed the police officers that you saw the black cat disappear from your sight just seconds before you arrived.
natasha was lying alone in bed by the time the other avengers returned. having left early, her room was dark and silent; the only sounds of her chest heaving quickly and her cracked sobs filling the air. 
there was a knock on the door from maria, calling out for her, but natasha ignored her subsequent knocks after telling her to go away from the first one. 
but then an hour later, there were two signature knocks on her door, following by you keying in the passcode to her room that she had only told you, and natasha’s attention was suddenly rapt.
she realised she probably looked a mess, and pathetic, for sobbing her eyes at out at the mere possibility of you leaving. but in her defence, she didn’t know, and you mattered too much to her for her to see you leave right in front of her eyes. 
“don’t switch on the light,” she warned, and your hand retracted from the light switch. you were about to ask her why, when she continued, “just…come here. come here and hold me, please.”
you were more than happy to oblige, sliding between the sheets and having your arms find themselves around her shivering body. she naturally leaned back into you, and natasha wondered if your senses were more elevated than she thought they could be, as your hands came up to wipe the tears she didn’t want you to see.
at the comfort of your touch, she could only ask, “...are you leaving me? for…the black cat?” 
she could feel you smile behind her, and your head resting at the space between her neck and shoulder. instead of replying, you said, “i actually went out to get you some donuts, and a few movies for us to watch, you know. i finally get to welcome you home, properly.”
natasha feels like her heart is going to burst. you chose her.
“but of course…just being with you is enough. just us, staying like this, is enough.”
natasha finally turned, seeing that you were still injured, but you reassured her by slowly massaging the frown and worry lines off her face. 
she pouted. “she’s pretty.”
you brought her to a sitting position, letting her on top as you rubbed your hands over her back. “you’re prettier.”
“has nice blue eyes.”
you kissed her, softly, slowly. “mhmm, i prefer green eyes.”
“i bet you looked good with her.” she could only imagine how powerful the two of you looked; the spider and the black cat swinging through new york city. it was definitely a force to be reckoned with.
you let her see the selection of donuts you had bought; each spelling out a letter in welcome home. “i feel better when i’m with you.”
natasha finally looks back up at you, and she understands. you never had the intention of leaving. you belonged to her, right from the start.
that night, when you had fallen asleep, one arm slung around her protectively, natasha finally has the courage to tell you what she has always felt.
“i love you,” she says, before amassing all her love into the kiss she landed on your lips.
in your slumber, you smiled, and the redness didn’t leave her cheeks, even until the morning. 
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yourmcu · 27 days
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i love fics like this.
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AN ANGEL FLUNG OUT OF SPACE
(natasha romanoff x fem! reader)
– synopsis | falling in love with your childhood bestfriend might have been one of the best yet scariest things to happen to you. but what happened in the summer of ‘97? what happened to your darling natalia?
– warnings | little fluff & a lot of angst, kind of au (no avengers), child abuse, mentions of: attempted suicide, self harm, body mutilation, burn marks, severe malnourishment (18+)
– notes | this was supposed to be a oneshot but, as usual, i spiralled out of control and now it has two chapters… potentially three? merci, mon alice, for the header @wandasgf ♡
[ word count: 4.4k ] Chapter 1 | Chapter 2
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JULY 1992
The sun had begun to set and yet the warmth of the day still lingered. The glow of the street lamps cast an amber hue on the pavement, outlining the familiar houses that lined the quiet street. The air was filled with the scent of summer, a blend of fresh grass and the distant fragrance of blooming flowers. In one of the houses on the street, a family gathered in their backyard for a summer evening barbecue. The smell of sizzling burgers and sweet barbecue sauce wafted through the air, and the faint laughter of children chasing each other echoed, while the adults lounged and swapped stories.
Meanwhile, across the field, two girls were beneath the sprawling branches of a willow tree. A patchwork quilt, covering a section of flattened grass, held a tea set long forgotten as they had rounded the thick trunk, the littlest one already perched on the wooden swing.
“Push me higher, Natty!” You exclaimed, voice full of glee. You were only a small girl with wild hair and a toothy grin, but your spirit was boundless.
Natalia smiled brightly, her own eyes sparkling with joy at her friend's excitement. “You’re already so high you could see the Empire State Building.” She teased, her laughter blending with the sound of chirping crickets amongst the long grass in the distance.
“I know!” The wind whipped against your face, and you couldn’t help but let out a joyous laugh.
Inseparable since Natalia moved in next door, your friendship blossomed under the protective branches of the willow tree across the street, where a swing hung proudly in the breeze. Its gentle leaves whispered secrets that only the two of you could hear, dreams of the future etched upon its bark, as unadulterated laughter rang true with its sway.
She whistled as your head swung back, the carefree spirit of the summer evening enveloping her in its warm embrace. And as she gazed up at the tree’s opening, she found twinkling stars above and the imaginary distant silhouette of the Empire State Building visible on the horizon. She couldn't help but feel a sense of wonder at the vastness of the world she had yet to see.
"Whoa, this is amazing." You shouted, feeling your stomach drop with each swoop. "Let’s swing all the way to the moon!"
“Maybe not the moon,” She pushed harder, her hands gripping the thick plank of wood beneath you, “But let’s try for the stars."
You shouted with as much euphemism as your little body could handle as the swing reached its peak. Weightless under its motion, you were suspended between the sky and the ground.
 An angel flung out of space.
 "I can almost touch the stars!"
She smiled. Despite her hands being rubbed red raw from rope burn, she was happy. She was always happy to be with you. While she had her younger sister, Yelena, whom she cared for deeply, it wasn't the same as having you. A friendship of her own creation. She yearned for the summer days when she could run around like a child with you.
“That’s good, that means you’re almost home, little star.” She shouted, her accent slipping out ever so subtly.
Carefully, your hand stretched toward the night sky – a poor attempt to touch the boiling balls of gas above.
You both were happy.
It’s sad what became of you both.
All too soon, reality intruded once more. The distant sound of a heavy door opening cut through the air, a gentle reminder that all good things must come to an end. With a final push, Nat stepped back and held onto the plank, commanding it to a halt. She knew what was coming.
At first, you didn’t notice her disappear around the wide trunk. But the gentle clink of pottery against one another told you enough as you followed in her footsteps.
“Natalia,” You whined, hands on your waist at the sight of the older girl cleaning up. “No, it’s your turn to swing.”
A whistle pierced the air, its familiar shrill sound gaining both of your attention. The sound of home time. “Natalia, come. Time to go.” Her mother’s voice carried just as loud, urging the redhead to leave playtime behind.
She turned to you, her expression softening as she looked down at your smaller frame. With a mixture of reluctance and understanding, she pulled you into a tight embrace, the warmth of her arms wrapped around you, the gentle press of her lips against your forehead lingered for a moment before she released you and ran off into the gathering dusk.
Alone now, you watched as the field fell silent, the only sound being of the insects hidden in the dark. The swing on the other side croaked gently in response to the light breeze and the redhead’s swift departure. For a moment, you considered sitting on it, perhaps pushing yourself back and forth on the points of your feet. Instead, you find yourself standing there: the absence of your best friend ever so palpable, a void that sunk deep into your bones.
Without Natalia by your side, the swing held little allure, and you decided to make your way back home. With your large basket in hand, you reached your own doorstep and paused, casting one last glance towards the girl’s house. The lights were on inside, casting a warm glow against the darkness outside.
You almost missed it, but a glimpse of red hair appeared out the window, followed by a hand waving at you. As soon as you waved back, she was gone. Window shut. Curtains drawn.
You went to bed with a cheesy grin plastered on your face.
You’ll see her again tomorrow.
--
AUGUST 1997
“Natalia, stop fighting me on this. You look like a popsicle.” You laughed and shoved the girl playfully from where you were sitting against the willow tree.
“It's cool.” She defended, as her hand tugged at her blue-dyed ends.
The years had rolled by, but the memories of that swing under the willow tree lingered on in your heart. As the seasons changed, so did your life. You made new friends, explored different interests, and navigated the tumultuous journey of adolescence. Being older than you, Natalia was already in high school, but she didn’t go to any in the district, as she was home-schooled and sometimes had to leave for a while. She never really told you why.
Even so, your bond deepened and an unspoken connection developed between you both. Under the tree's comforting shade, you discovered a warmth in your heart that went beyond friendship. Those lazy summer afternoons spent laughing, dreaming, and sharing secrets created a bond that you wanted to explore further.
You’d never felt like this before for anyone.
Only Natalia.
Life as a pre-teen was so confusing.
You snorted, “Yeah, okay, you leave for a month and come back with half of your hair a different colour.”
But it wasn't just the hair colour that captivated you. It was the way she carried herself - a wisdom wise beyond her years. She was the same goofy redhead of course - her eyes sparkled with mischief when she laughed at you, her hand held the same warmth in yours as you walked together. But there was something else lurking beneath, a sadness more notable than her usual melancholy. You noticed the slight furrow in her brow, the way her fingers tapped nervously against each other.
Something was weighing on her mind, something significant. So, you asked, “What’s wrong?”
She let out such a soft sigh that you almost missed it.
“I’m leaving.”
Dread washed over you, and a knot formed in your stomach. "Again?"
She had just returned the other day. Your mind raced with questions and uncertainty and the tears already clustered your lash line. You, a child with no need to mask her emotions, no need to hide her soul, unlike Natalia, who always seemed to carry the weight of the world on her shoulders, her laughter always accompanied by a subtle sadness, as if she were trying to conceal her true feelings behind a façade of cheerfulness. But today, as she sat you down with a gentle tug, her eyes betraying a mixture of resolve and sorrow, you sensed that she could no longer hide what she'd been keeping inside.
"It's for good this time," she murmured, her gaze fixed on the ground as if unable to meet your eyes. "My parents want to go back to Russia. They don’t like it here.”
Though unspoken, you sensed the weight of what she meant. They don't like you. It stung, a silent acknowledgement of the barriers you've fallen blind to. The odd glances from her mother, the subtle disapproval from her younger sister—all pieces of a puzzle you've tried to ignore.
Her admission hung heavy in the air, the reality of separation sinking in with each passing moment. She drew closer, her delicate fingers brushing away the tears that cascaded down your cheeks. You lifted your gaze to meet hers, noticing the weariness etched into her features, the telltale signs of tears already shed hours before.
“I’ll miss you.” She whispered, forehead flushed against yours, before leaning down to kiss the corner of your lips. An almost kiss. One of many shared underneath the cover of the willow tree.
You tasted saltiness and noticed the fresh tears that had now sprung from her eyes.
“I'll miss you too. Forever.”
The next morning, you stood outside her house, as the sun cast long shadows over their lawn. It was your last full day together so you arrived bright and early, not wanting to waste any time. You reached out to knock on the door, but your hand hovered, hesitant. The house remained still, as if holding its breath, waiting for something that would never come. You glanced around, searching for any sign of life, but the windows stared back at you blankly, revealing nothing but darkness within.
“Natty?”
 Nothing.
A sinking feeling gnawed at your stomach as you realized they must've left in the night, slipping away like shadows fleeing from the dawn. The same way they joined this neighbourhood.
With a heavy heart, you turned away from the empty house, feeling as if a piece of your soul had been torn away with their departure. The world already seemed colder, lonelier, devoid of her warmth and laughter that once filled it.
In the days that followed, you found yourself drawn to the tree – yours and Natalia’s safe haven. You sat there, surrounded by memories, as the rope swayed in the wind - empty and forlorn. Though still magical, the willow tree could no longer shield you from the loneliness that settled in your heart, as the summer months stretched on endlessly, a blur of empty hours filled with longing and regret.
That night, you slept with a permanent frown, a puddle of tears staining your pillow.
You won’t see her again tomorrow.
--
APRIL 2001
From afar, she looked different. Almost unrecognisable.
Eighteen years old and she was here: barely an adult yet taller and slimmer, with a cascade of auburn curls framing her face that replaced the short blue hair you remembered. The years had engraved themselves onto her, carving the once-round face into a pointed visage that spoke of both experience and loss.
Just as beautiful as you remembered.
You sat on the swing under the tree with a book in hand, lost in its pages until light danced between the branches and a flicker of movement caught your attention. Glancing up, you froze as you saw her across the street.
Natalia?
Your heart quickened its pace, memories flooding back in a torrent. But this woman was different. She’d changed. She’d grown.
She noticed you too, her gaze locking onto yours for a moment. There's a flicker of recognition, a spark of something in those eyes. For a heartbeat, it feels like time hasn't passed, like you're still the same two little girls taking on the world together. But then, just as quickly as the connection formed, she averted her gaze, choosing instead to continue on her journey. She walked with purpose, footsteps marching in a steady rhythm that both connected and distanced her from you. She couldn’t get caught up with you. She had a job to do.
Realising she was going to walk away, you pushed yourself off the swing, a mix of hope and nerves swirling inside you as you discarded the book somewhere in the grass.
None of that mattered. Natalia was here. She was back.
“Hey, wait!” You shouted, practically running after her. You reached out to grab her wrist, but she jerked away, shoving you back a few steps with surprising force.
Up close, the difference was unquestionable.
The once soft and kind Natalia had evolved into a hardened version of herself, sharpened by strong fists. Her eyes once filled with innocence, now harbour shadows of pain and resilience. She exuded an aura of toughness, and a guarded silence had replaced the laughter that used to be a melody in her voice.
“Natalia? What are you doing here?” You inquired, tentatively closing the gap between you both. You watched as she winced at her name falling from your lips.
And yet, this time, she didn’t evade your touch. Her hand trembled slightly as it met yours, eyes fluttering shut for a moment. In that fleeting silence, you took in the toll life has taken on her. Her arms bear the marks of countless scars, remnants of battles fought in shadows, and bruises of varying hues.
“What happened to your arms?” Your voice is gentle, a soft inquiry borne out of concern.
But, the sudden confrontation had her retreating into herself, defences rising once more like impenetrable walls. You mustn’t know. She could never do that to you. “Let go.” She demanded sharply, her tone cutting through the air like a knife.
Caught off guard, you hesitated for a moment, unsure of how to proceed, but that’s long enough for her to decide to rip her hand out of yours, sharp and abrupt.
“Are you okay?” Your voice was barely a whisper as you watched her practically flee, disappearing around the corner of the street.
 You don’t follow her.
--
OCTOBER 2012
Funny how throughout life, fate seemed to play a game with you, pulling Natalia in and out of your orbit like a cosmic dance.
At twenty-seven, you found yourself entrenched in the fast-paced world of trauma nursing. After the arduous journey through medical school, you packed your bags and set your sights on the East Coast. New York City welcomed you with open arms, its vibrant chaos becoming the backdrop to your new life. From your boss’s office window, the silhouette of the Empire State Building stood tall, a symbol of strength amidst the chaos below.
You thrived in this environment, relishing in the opportunity to connect with and assist people in their most vulnerable moments. The adrenaline rush of the emergency room, the delicate balance between life and death—it fuelled you in ways nothing else could. Not since that summer night. Not since you tried to touch the stars.
Today, however, the hospital was enveloped in an air of secrecy and quiet urgency. Paramedics had rushed in with a new patient a few hours ago, shrouded in mystery as they were rushed straight into surgery. Usually, you're first on-site with incoming patients but you had been busy working your rounds to be able to assist, and there were enough on the trauma team – with the security clearance - to handle such a situation.
Stopping by the bedside of your oldest patient, Mrs. Dinton, you smiled sweetly. “Hey, Mrs Dinton. How are we today?”
"Ah, there you are, dearie," she said, her voice crackling with age. "I was just telling Nurse Molly here about the delightful hospital pudding they serve on Wednesdays. It's simply divine, don't you think?"
You chuckled softly, waving a hello to your colleague. "I'm afraid I'm not much of a fan, Mrs. Dinton. But I'm glad to hear you're enjoying it."
She laughed, a sound like tinkling bells. "Oh, well, means more for me then."
Before you could continue the conversation – could reprimand the elderly woman about how she needs to watch her sugar intake - Dr. Cho appeared at your side, her expression serious. "Excuse me, ladies. But, Nurse Y/N, is needed elsewhere." She says kindly but with a hint of urgency, no room for questioning. You and Dr. Cho were great friends, having graduated med school together and now working at the same hospital.
“What is it, Helen?” You asked, following her footsteps out the ward, navigating the labyrinthine hallways of the hospital.
“I’ve been assigned postoperative care for the Jane Doe and I want you with me...” Your heart dropped at the mention of the mystery woman.
All day, the hushed tones and covert glances exchanged among your colleagues hinted at the gravity of the situation. Their whispers that followed you through the hospital corridors spoke of a failed suicide attempt. While the hospital had sadly seen its share of such cases, this one was different – a Jane Doe, requiring an unusual degree of privacy.
“…while I don’t know any more than you about what happened, I trust you the most to help me with her. So I got you clearance. Go grab us a pair of gloves, I’ll meet you inside.” Helen finished with a nod before entering the private wing.
You donned your own pair of latex and made your way back to the private wing, the click of your shoes echoing down the corridor. The atmosphere was thick with anticipation and concern. The weight of the unknown pressed upon you as you approached the room where the troubled soul awaited treatment. Few years being a trauma nurse, you had seen it all… but not a Jane Doe. Never a Jane Doe.
Upon entering, you found Helen already studying the patient's chart. The subdued lighting in the room cast a sombre mood, and the machines hummed softly in the background. The Jane Doe was laid on the hospital bed, head secured in a neck brace and a tube down her throat, a silent testament to the ordeal she had endured.
“Thanks,” Helen whispered, making her way over to retrieve her gloves. "I've gone through everything in the notes. The attempt was pretty severe."
You nodded, taking in the gravity of the situation. The silence was broken only by the soft beeping of the monitors as you both began your work. Each movement was deliberate, and each procedure executed with precision and empathy. You adjusted the IV drip, checked the vital signs, and made sure everything was in order.
Sometime later, Helen had left, her pager going off as her presence was needed with another incoming patient.  The room seemed to hold its breath, but it was only you. The machine to your right, making sure the woman was still breathing.
You read over her notes once more.
“Female, 5’7…” You ramble aimlessly to no one as you find yourself unable to voice the rest.
The laceration on her neck caught your attention. The wound stretched across her delicate skin, a jagged seam where the surgeons' skilled hands had meticulously stitched the deep gash closed. The edges of the cut were puckered slightly, evidence of the trauma dealt with by the knife paramedics found next to her unconscious body. Judging by the shape, it seemed like she plunged rather than sliced, the offending weapon, then, pulled out instead of left inside. She was quite malnourished, her cheeks hollowed out, collarbone visible as the gown drowned her thin figure. She lacked a sufficient amount of muscle. You wondered how someone could go unnoticed without eating for several days. It was as if she had become a ghost, fading away in plain sight.
The woman looked ill - eyes sunken with abnormally pale skin. Drifting down her body, you noticed her legs. A horrified gasp threatened to leave your lips.  Raised red lines covered the expanse of her legs, some scabbed up, some clear burn marks that had turned into blisters. Her arms were just as bad, marred with a history of wounds that ran from her wrists to her shoulders.
Behind all the equipment, her face was almost unrecognisable. Her hair was what stood out the most, the auburn curls matted with blood. A sense of familiarity washed over you, the red striking your curiosity.
You couldn't tear your gaze away as you watched her stir. Unsure if she was waking or simply moving unconsciously, you remained still, not wanting to startle her. But then her face contorted with pain, and her lashes began to flutter open.
The sheets rustled as she tried to turn, her discomfort evident from the way she struggled against the tubes and wires tethering her to the medical machinery. You couldn't help but feel a pang of sympathy for her, lying there in such a vulnerable state. No identity. No family to be there for her.
"Stay still, please.” You whispered softly, stepping closer to her bedside. “You're in the hospital. You’re safe."
Her eyes, clouded with pain and confusion, met yours for a fleeting moment before flickering away. She seemed to be trying to process where she was and what had happened.
“Paramedics found you unconscious and rushed you in.” You explained gently, hoping to offer some semblance of clarity amidst the chaos of her thoughts. “You had a wound to the neck. We’ve managed to close it, so don’t move around too much. Otherwise, you might open the stitches.”
Her gaze drifted back to you, and for a moment there was a flicker of recognition in her eyes. It was fleeting, gone almost as quickly as it had appeared, but it was enough to make your heart skip a beat.
You saw as she went to speak, only to find pain and a heavy weight against her tongue. “Careful. You shouldn’t try to speak yet. We’re not sure how much damage has been done to your vocal cords.”
As if she didn’t hear you, she continued fidgeting, fighting against the intrusion in her mouth, panic overriding.
“Hey, listen to me,” you coaxed, voice soft but firm, your hand reaching out to settle over hers, the glove long forgotten. “I need you to calm down, please. You’re going to be okay. You just need to rest your voice.”
Her eyes darted to you, wide with fear and frustration, and you squeezed her hand gently, offering what little comfort you could.
“It’s going to be alright, just take slow breaths. Focus on that.” You started to breathe deeply, deliberately, hoping she'd follow your lead. Inhale... exhale... in a steady rhythm, like waves lapping against the shore
As you continued to focus on stabilising her breathing, your eyes inadvertently met hers, and in that moment, you were drawn into the depths of those vibrant green orbs. They held a world of pain, swirling like a tempestuous storm beneath the surface. Yet, amidst the turmoil, there's a glimmer of familiarity that tugged at the corners of your memory.
There’s something about her you can’t make sense of.
 Why does she look so familiar? Who is she?
“Do I know you?” You almost asked, but then suddenly, the door to the waiting room clicked open, and Helen strode in, her expression wavering as she noticed the woman awake. “She’s awake already?!” Shock and bewilderment visible on her face.
She advanced, quickly spewing off questions in your direction, as her eyes narrowed in on the woman, assessing her condition with a quick, practised glance.
"She's awake, a little panicked about being in a hospital, but also a bit disoriented," you explained, voice calm despite the urgency of the situation. "Vitals are stable for now.”
With that, you stepped away, dropping her hand you had forgotten you were still holding, as Helen went to introduce herself. Your lunch break was coming up and before you could turn to leave the room, Helen stopped you. "Thank you for staying with her," she said softly, "There was a car accident. Two little girls rushed in for surgery. They needed me."
You nodded in understanding. You couldn’t fault her. Every day seemed to bring a new challenge, a new story, and today was no different. This Jane Doe was no different.
Before you could delve deeper into your thoughts, she interrupted, “Anyways, I’m here now and pager is off,” she drew your attention to the device in her pocket, “Boss’s order...  now go take your lunch break.”
With a small smile, you left the room, the door softly closing behind you. Walking down the hallways, your mind buzzed with curiosity about the woman. Her face – those eyes - nagged at the edges of your memory, like a puzzle waiting to be solved.
Where do I know you from, Jane Doe?
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350 notes · View notes
yourmcu · 2 months
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Across the Natashaverse
Summary: Through a small accident, you end up in another universe. What happens when you find out that your relationship with Natasha is very different here?
Natasha Romanoff x F!R
Life is good.
No missions for the week, done with training and fresh off the shower, you walk down the halls of the Compound.
“Someone’s in a good mood” Wanda comments when you join her at the kitchen. “Did Natasha change her mind about the date?”
Your smile falls immediately and her eyes widen.
“Shoot, I’m sorry”
“Nah, it’s fine” you steal a cookie from her plate and shrug your shoulders. “It was two weeks ago. She doesn’t see me that way, I get it”
“I don’t think it’s that” Wanda insists and you smile.
“You’re a hopeless romantic, Maximoff” you lean forward and place a kiss on the top of her head. The brunette chuckles, going back to the book she was reading.
As you walk to your room, you try not to think of Natasha. But it’s a small world, and she’s on her way to the gym, America Chavez right behind her.
“I’m on training duty” the redhead explains. “Wanna join us?”
“I have so much paperwork” you lie, because you’re very tired and have been looking forward to a nap. “Kick some butt, America”
“I’ll try” she doesn’t sound convinced at all.
Natasha smiles at you, waiting for your signature wink that always gets her heart racing.
But there’s not even a look back as you go to your room.
She really screwed up this time.
You weren’t exactly lying about the paperwork, and you work on it for half an hour to feel like you’re doing something productive with your day.
With a yawn, you stand up from the desk in your room and walk towards the bed. As you’re about to plop down, there’s a shift in the room and you land on your ass, the bed on the other side of the wall.
“What the fuck?” you say, looking around.
The room looks different. It’s the same size, but none of your stuff is there. Same thing with the hallways. It’s the Compound, but at the same time… it’s not. You walk out of the room, this time on spy mode, ready to take down the imminent threat.
“Y/N?” Natasha calls behind you and you rush to her side.
“Nat, hey. There’s something wrong. Stay close” you take her hand, and she stops you with a pull.
“I’ll say”
“Huh?” you turn, only to find her face inches away from yours.
“Where’s your wedding ring?”
“My… what?” you look down at your hands, confused. Natasha moves her face closer and you can’t focus on anything else.
“Oh, I see. Are you still angry about the other day? Because I can totally make it up to you, detka” Natasha whispers seductively against your lips, leaving a trail of kisses all the way to the shell of your ear.
“Nat.. uh… I think…”
“Use your words, pretty girl” she smiles, her hand going up your shirt to caress the skin.
And suddenly, she looks down, frowning.
“Where’s your scar?”
“I don’t have a…”
Natasha turns into a whole different person, placing you in a chokehold and holding both your arms down.
“Who are you? Are you a skrull?”
“I don’t know what that is” you say, gasping for air. “Wait, are they the ones Carol works with?”
“Who is Carol?”
“Captain Marvel”
“You mean Maria Rambeau”
“Maria is Captain Marvel?” you say, finally piecing together what’s happening. When your eyes lock with Natasha’s, you speak at the same time.
“You’re from another world”
“I’m from another world”
Even if she doesn’t let go, her grip on you losens enough for you to breathe. She’s about to ask something else when a little girl walks up and pulls your hand, getting your attention.
“Mama, what are you and Mommy doing?”
“Walk me through what happened”
“Nothing happened! I was doing paperwork in my room and then I was here” you say for the tenth time.
“How about before?” Natasha asks, turning right. Her idea was to drive you straight to Wong, as a multiverse travel is more of his specialty.
“I ran into you. I mean, not you. My Natasha. Wait, not my. She’s not mine” you mumble, massaging your temples. “Please tell me there’s ibuprofen in this world”
“Relax” she reaches forward, placing a hand on your thigh and you swear you’ll combust. “I get the idea. Now tell me what happened”
“We just ran into the hallway. Made some small talk. And then I went to my room”
“Just small talk?” Natasha smirks. “Not some kisses? A quickie against the wall? An earth shattering, universe transcending orgasm?”
You try to open the door and jump out of the moving car but it’s locked.
“It’s not… we’re not a thing. Just friends” you say, flustered.
“Really?” Natasha finally turns to you, as she parks outside of the not so secret lair at Bleecker street.
“Wait. It was America Chavez” you remember, facepalming. Of course. “Natasha was training her. Maybe she created a portal by accident”
“And now my wife is in another universe where you’re too chicken to ask me out. Can’t imagine that will go well for her”
“Hey, it’s not like that” you snap, embarrassed. Natasha turns to you, ready to speak back, as usual. Because she’s so smart and she thinks she knows everything. “Whatever. Let’s just get this shit fixed, I don’t wanna be here”
Walking past her, you stand before the big doors, that open up without knocking
“Welcome” the man says. “I take it you’re the little glitch in our universe”
“Yes, I am. Can you fix it?”
“No. But America can. She has been at Kamar-Taj for a year now. Her powers are more developed. It should be an interesting test for her”
“Ok, so what are we waiting for?”
“There have been some security concerns lately” Natasha explains, coming closer. “Wong has to notify their council to follow protocol”
“I’ll come find you tomorrow. Remember, the longer you stay here, the bigger the threat for both worlds”
“Yes, fine. See you tomorrow” you say, looking at your feet as you leave the building. Going down the steps, you can hear Natasha calling after you. “I’m walking back to the Compound. It’s the same route. I can wait for Wong there”
“We don’t live in the Compound” Natasha explains, her voice gentle. She waits until you turn back and searches your eyes. “Look, I’m sorry about what I said before. Come with me. I’ll feel better if I know you’re safe with us”
There’s a pause, and she waits patiently while you look around. But Natasha’s presence is like a magnet, and inevitably, your eyes come back to her beautiful features.
“What’s so funny?” she says when you chuckle.
“You do the same thing. Tilt your head to the side, purse your lips… it’s cute. In every universe”
“Sweet talker. Come on. Let’s go” she offers her hand and you accept it.
It takes an enormous amount of effort to remind yourself this isn’t the Natasha you know. And that you’re not the one she loves.
You’re so caught up in these thoughts you don’t notice when she pulls over.
“Ice cream always cheers you up” she explains, getting out of the car.
“Yeah, I guess we’re not that different”
She smiles, holding the door open for you. Well, at least the flavors are the same in this universe.
“I’ll have the peanut butter with chocolate chips”
“You’re allergic” Natasha says.
“I’m not”
“You’re not?” she repeats, while the man behind the counter looks at both of you, confused.
“Nope”
Once that’s settled, you get your ice cream cones and leave the store.
“Why are you staring?” you say, mouth full of ice cream.
“I’m just waiting for the hives and the runny nose”
“I’m not allergic” you insist, showing your arms, skin completely normal.
“Fine” she concedes, shrugging her shoulders. You keep eating in silence, until she turns back. “Wanna tell me why you got so upset?”
“Because. I did ask you… her out. She said no. I wasn’t a chicken; I gave her flowers and put myself out there. But I’m obviously the problem, because in this universe, everything works out to the point of you two getting married and having a daughter”
You take a seat in a nearby bench, feeling defeated. What a cruel thing, to see the life you could have had.
“Maybe she’s not ready. I was terrified when we started dating. Thought I’d screw it up because I knew nothing of love”
That’s what Wanda probably meant earlier. It’s a possibility that crossed your mind as well, but whatever the reason, Natasha had declined the date (looking very apologetic, you might add) and you were going to respect that choice.
“Or maybe she just doesn’t want me. And that’s ok. Because no matter what happens, I love my Natasha. And I’ll always want her to be happy”
Silence settles after you say that, but Natasha looks back at you, smiling.
“You’re very noble. It’s nice to see some things are the same across worlds”
“It’s nice to know there’s a version of me that makes a version of her happy”
Natasha smiles and nods.
“Let’s get home. Anya is waiting for us”
“Home sweet home” Natasha says, opening the door for you. It’s a beautiful townhouse, with lots of space in the backyard. All the walls are covered in pictures, and you can’t help but stare at all the memories that belong to a different version of you.
They seem like a happy family.
“Mommy” Anya says, and it takes a second to remember that she’s talking to you.
“Hey, sweetheart” you don’t hesitate to carry her as she comes running towards you. Natasha is keeping a watchful eye on you. “What is that?”
“That’s my Miffy, silly” she says and you bounce her in your arms, while she shows you her plushie.
Yelena joins you and you can’t help but stare. Her hair is black, short and she has bangs. There are also a couple of piercings in her nose and eyebrows.
“Did you cut your hair? Looks nice” she comments, picking up her stuff and getting ready to go. You simply nod and smile. “Gotta go, see you tomorrow for dinner with Kate, ok?”
Natasha’s sisters kisses everyone goodbye, including you and then bolts out the door.
“Baby, did you bath yet?” Natasha says, approaching Anya. The girl hides her face in the crook of your neck.
“I don’t wanna”
“You’re stinky” Natasha accuses, tickling the girl; Anya gives up and goes from your arms to the redhead’s. “Come on, and then I’ll start dinner”
“I can take care of that” you offer and Natasha’s eyes widen. Anya uses Natasha’s hair as a curtain, and thinks you can’t hear what she says.
“I don’t want Mommy to cook”
“What? Why?”
“You can’t cook” Natasha says. Well, that’s just bullshit. In your world, Natasha’s always the first in line to get a good serving of whatever it is you do.
“Go, I got this” you insist when Natasha puts Anya down. The redhead looks back several times, unsure. My God, how bad could the other you be in this world to get this reaction?
Luckily, once they are done with the bath, Anya comes back, pulling her mother and commenting that the smell is incredible.
“Mommy didn’t burn the kitchen!”
“Has that actually happened?” you mumble to Natasha and she nods. “Yikes”
The redhead laughs, and nudges your shoulder with hers.
“This is really good” she admits after trying your chicken pasta bake.
“Thinking about keeping me?”
“Maybe” she jokes. “Or bring you over when I don’t feel like cooking”
Of course, Anya doesn’t understand what you’re talking about. She tells you about her day with aunt Yelena and all you have to do is listen and nod.
“I’ll do the dishes” you offer after you finish.
“Come say goodnight to her”
“Will do”
While you clean, you try not to think about what life will be like tomorrow, when you go back to a world where things are different.
“She fell asleep in the middle of a Clifford story” Natasha comes back after a few minutes. “It’s probably because she ate so much”
“I’ll leave the recipe for you” you promise. “Mind if I crash in the couch?”
“Right” the redhead smiles, and you can tell she’s nervous by the way she fidgets with her hands. You reach forward, taking them in yours.
“What’s wrong?”
“I can’t really sleep without… her”
“I can stay on the bedroom floor”
“I couldn’t possibly ask you to”
“You’re not asking. I’m offering” you assure her.
By the time you’re done with cleaning the kitchen, there’s an inflatable mattress, pillows and a blanket.
“Let me know if you’re comfortable” Natasha asks, turning off the bedroom lights.
“Or what? You’ll let me sleep cuddled up? It wouldn’t be good for the space and time continuum that I kick my own butt”
“I actually think she’d find it funny” Natasha says, and you let her voice lull you in the dark. “She’s probably teasing your Natasha endlessly, trying to get her to admit some sort of feelings for you”
“She has a death wish” you groan, admittedly forgetting that the Natasha you know is having a less than pleasant time right now.
“What is she like?” Natasha says after a few moments of silence.
“She’s the smartest person in any room. Hates cooking and doing dishes. Always looking out for others, always taking on the most missions. She’s really funny too. Sometimes, Bucky will ask anyone for movie recs and Natasha will give a completely made up title. So, Barnes will go crazy looking around for it”
“Oh, I’m so doing that next time” you both laugh.
“Great ass too” you say after a beat and a pillow is thrown across the room and falls right in your face. “Hey!”
“Go to sleep”
Next morning, you figure it’s only fair to cook some breakfast before Wong calls you over.
Which, he does, sooner than expected.
Anya is barely finished with breakfast, when Natasha comes down the stairs and looks at you.
“It’s time”
Feeling nervous, and a bit sad, you nod. Wanda shows up a few minutes later. To your shock, in this world, she’s pregnant.
“Thank you for taking care of her, it really won’t take long” Natasha says as soon as she steps inside.
The brunette eyes you curiously, and you can tell by her magic that she knows this isn’t your world.
“You know I’m always happy to”
At the door, Natasha picks up Anya and kisses her everywhere she can. The girl giggles once her mother places her down.
“Hey, bug” you kneel on the floor. “Be good. Your moms will be back soon, ok?”
“Ok, mommy. See you soon”
“Bye, Anya” you say, letting her hug you. Once you’re out the door, Natasha reaches for your hand, and squeezes lightly.
The ride to Bleeker street is silent. Wong seems pleased when he sees you.
“Follow me, ladies” he asks, opening up a portal to Kamar Taj. You’d only been there once; the size of the place always makes you feel like you’re in another planet.
A much older version of America greets you -she’s probably in her twenties- and takes your hand for a second, closing her eyes.
“Ready to go home?” she asks.
“Wait!” Natasha calls behind you and you turn, eyes wide. To your surprise, the woman hugs you, and you wrap her in your arms as well. When she pulls away, she places a small kiss on your cheek. “Anyone would be lucky to have you. She’s an idiot if she can’t see that”
“Thanks, Nat. Not about the idiot part. Be kind to every version of yourself, yes?”
“Fine” she rolls her eyes, squeezing your hand one last time.
You’re about to step into the portal when you turn to America.
“This won’t send me into the middle of a busy road or like, free falling to my death, right?”
“Most likely not” she promises.
You don’t like the sound of that.
“Ok, but on a scale of one to ten…”
“For Agamoto’s sake” Wong sighs behind you, pushing you without warning.
The room is completely upside down and then you land in the middle of the meeting table, the Avengers around you screaming.
“Son of a bitch” Steve says as you roll to the floor, out of air.
“Language” you manage to say. Everyone’s rushing to you. Sam is the first one and he helps you up. They are all talking at the same time, Wanda inspecting the cut on your forehead from falling on the table.
Suddenly, Natasha nudges them aside, wrapping you in her arms.
“Hey, it’s ok. It’s me” you say against her temple.
“We’ll leave you alone. Go to the medbay, though”
“Yes, Cap”
You’re in no hurry, Natasha safely in your arms.
“So, what happened while I was gone?” you casually ask as Natasha cleans the cut.
“I almost killed you… her. Twice”
“Sounds like you had fun”
“Not really. She’s a smartass. Can’t cook a damn thing, so I made her a pb&j sandwich”
“Oh, yeah. She’s allergic” you grimace. “Wait, you said you almost killed her twice. If one was with peanut butter…”
“The first thing she did when she came to this world was slap my ass”
“She does have a death wish” you joke, but Natasha doesn’t answer, turning around to put the first aid kit away.
“Is it true?” Natasha asks. You look at her, confused. “Are we married? With a daughter?”
“Oh. Yes, it’s true. They seem to be happy. It was nice”
“Was she better than me?”
“Natasha” you say, forcing her to face you. “I have no doubt in my mind that you’re awesome in every universe. But this version of you is the one I know and love. With your love of spy films, the scar in your belly, and your half smirk when you beat everyone at Uno”
“I am really good at Uno” she agrees and you both laugh.
“Damn right you are”
“I missed you. Too much, to the point where I realise I can’t keep pretending I don’t want this. I’m just scared” she says, holding on to your hands. “Will you help me? Be brave for us”
“There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you, love” you promise, kissing her hand softly. “In this, or any other universe”
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yourmcu · 2 months
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Across the Natashaverse - Part 2
Natasha Romanoff x F!R
Summary: After you're sent to another world, Natasha has to deal with yourself, from another universe, and a very different life.
Other POV from this fic.
“Put more weight on your left foot” Natasha says, barely checking America’s movements.
Of course she knows this is important. Maria asked her to train Chavez in the basics of hand to hand combat. Her mind is elsewhere, though.
Especifically, you.
Natasha thought she was doing you a favor, she really did. Someone as kind as you could do much better than her. Agreeing to a date would only give you false hope, so she rejected the invitation.
It was foolish of her to think that things would be the same after that. You weren’t distant or rude, though that might have been easier.
Every morning, you’d still have breakfast with her, show her funny videos or tell her about your latest discoveries in the lab with Stark, which in the end, were related to her work as well.
You simply stopped sharing your interests, or going out of your way to seek her company. Long gone were the days of sitting together at the Met while you talked about your favorite paintings. Or the grocery shopping that turned into strolls through Central Park and ended in your favorite bookshop.
All that was left now were pleasantries.
“Am I doing it right?” America asks. She sure as hell isn’t, so Natasha shakes her head, hoping she can manage to focus on the task at hand.
“Stop” she says, stepping on the sparring mat.
“Please don’t tell me you want me to fight you”
“You’re punching the air, Chavez. The only way to learn is by doing. It will be fine”
The girl doesn’t seem too convinced, but Natasha starts with slow movements and corrects America as they go. When the intensity of the training increases, the girl’s powers begin to stir. A yellow flash on the ceiling distracts Natasha, and the next thing she feels is America’s fist colliding with her cheek.
“Crap! Agent Romanoff, I’m so sorry”
But there’s another loud thud, not far from the gym.
“Did you hear that?” Natasha asks, trying to figure what the noise is.
“Maybe”
“Take a break” Natasha instructs, looking around the room to check if everything’s alright. The team is still figuring out the extent of her powers and Natasha worries the girl just unleashed a demonic creature or something.
The redhead is so focused on the room, she doesn’t notice someone approaching.
That is, until she feels a hard slap on her ass, and a sultry voice against her ear.
“There’s my favorite ass-assin”
Five seconds later, she has the intruder upside down, back against the floor, gasping for air.
“Baby, I know you don’t like my jokes but this is a little too much, don’t you think?”
It takes her a second to process what’s happening.
“Y/N?”
“Hey, love” you smirk, all smug despite being knocked down by Natasha. “The weirdest thing just happened, I was going to get a snack because Anya was moody and then fell on my ass right outside the gym”
Natasha stares at you, as if you’re speaking a foreign language. And then it all clicks. The slightly longer hair, how you smell and feel different.
She let’s go of you and starts pulling your shirt by the collar.
“Hell yeah, let’s get naked”
“Where’s your birthmark?”
“I don’t have a…”
“You’re from another world”
“Ah, that’s so sweet…” you try to lean forward and kiss her, but she pushes you away. “Babe, I’m getting mixed signals here”
“F.R.I.D.A.Y., call for an emergency meeting”
“I’m sorry, she’s what?” Sam points at you, and Natasha pinches the bridge of her nose.
“She’s from another universe. America must have opened up a portal when we were training”
“Alright, so she just opens it back and we correct the mistake”
“It’s not that simple” Tony walks in.
“Uhm, guys. This meeting should be for Avengers only” you lower your voice, eyeing the man suspiciously.
“Hello? That table you’re sitting in so carelessly. Mahogany. Paid by me”
“Yeah, I’ve never seen this man before”
“A world without Tony Stark” Steve says, amused.
“Must be really quiet in your Compound” Sam says and you smirk.
“Why, no thanks to you. Not with all those super models you’re always bringing back to your room” you raise your eyebrows and Sam’s eyes widen.
“I date super models? I wanna go to her world”
Steve and Tony begin to argue about how that will make the multiverse collapse, when Natasha interrupts them.
“She’s messing with you, idiots”
Tony and Sam look at each other and then at you. You almost fall to the ground as you laugh. Since you’re not helpful, the team ignores you as they keep discussing the best way to identify your reality and correct the glitch.
“Y/N 2.0, we need more information about your… where did she go?” Tony grumbles.
“I got this” Natasha sighs, stomping to the kitchen. Sure enough, you’re rummaging through the fridge, complaining at every item of food you find.
“Don’t you have anything with sugar here?”
“You’re free to prepare anything for yourself”
“Not unless you want the kitchen to explode, Nat”
The redhead pushes you aside, while you look around the living room, inspecting the pictures on every place you can find.
“No wedding? Or Anya?”
“Nope” Natasha says, her voice shaking lightly.
“Why?”
“None of your business” she says, handing you a plate with a sanwich.
“Thanks. How did you know I was lying about Stark and Wilson?”
“Your voice gets all high pitched when you tell a lie” she answers, refusing to look at you.
“Huh” you mumble, taking a bite out of the sandwich. “Um. Is this peanut butter?”
“Would her Highness prefer caviar?” Natasha teases, but turns around and finds you covered in hives. “Shit!”
“That’s fine” you say, struggling to breathe. “Nothing an epi can’t fix, love”
You pass out in the middle of the kitchen, wondering if you’ll leave this foreign universe in one piece.
After leaving you at the medbay, Natasha goes back to the meeting room. She’s examining all the reports and missions that are related to multiverses. It’s a lot to digest, including all the quantum physics.
Alone for the first time since this whole thing started, she finally allows herself the chance to miss you. Right around this time, you’d be making dinner, and she’d be in the kitchen, pretending to help just to be close to you.
What if she never gets you back?
“Hello, there” a voice says. You approach slowly, knowing it’s best not to surprise her.
“How are you feeling? I’m really sorry…”
“There’s no way you could have known. It honestly never occurred to me that things like allergies were different” you say, patting her leg. “Interested in string theory?”
“Yeah, it’s a great ice breaker” Natasha says, and you chuckle. “You don’t seem too worried”
“The America Chavez of my world has had a bit more training. I’m sure I’ll be back home for lunch tomorrow”
“You could have said something!” Natasha feels the need to kick your ass again.
“Hey, I was gonna! And then I almost died”
“Jerk”
“What are you so worried about? She’s in a safe world”
“What if your Natasha gave Y/N a similar welcome?”
“Oh, I’m sure she had her pinned to a wall, only for very different reasons”
Natasha turns to you, alarmed. Her jealousy is so obvious that all you can do is laugh.
“There it is. I wasn’t sure you had any feelings towards her. Wanna tell me what happened?” you nudge her chair with your foot and she looks at you, annoyed.
“She asked me out, gave me flowers, I said no”
“Flowers, huh? Well, she’s more romantic than me. Natasha and I were pretending to be a couple for a mission and then I just blurted out I wouldn’t mind doing it again under different circumstances” you explain, laughing at the memory.  “But hey, if flowers and chocolates aren’t your thing, I respect it”
“It’s not like that”
“Then, what is it like?”
She thinks back to all the times you’ve made her feel safe, cared for, loved. You make it look so easy, but for the life of her, Natasha can’t figure out how to reciprocate.
What you make her feel, is too good and beautiful for someone like her.
“I haven’t earned her love” is all she manages to say.
“Natasha” you call, softly, and only speak when she finally turns to you. “You don’t have to do anything to be deserving of love”
There is silence, and then you take her hand in yours.
“Come on, I’m starving. Let’s grab some Chinese”
“Fine. No more peanut butter, though. I don’t want to fight myself if something happens to you”
“Now that would be entertaining”
Next morning, everyone is back in the meeting room. Apparently, due to some bad experiences, they’ve decided you should come back to your world immediately, before the universes collapse.
“I promise you, it will be fine” you insist. Natasha is the only one that seems to believe you, so you save yourself the trouble and spin around in the office chair.
“Can you stop?” Steve says, irritated.
“I’m trying to create a vortex that is powerful enough to send me back to my reality, Steve” but he still glares and you stand up. “Fine. I’m getting a snack”
As you exit the room, Natasha comes running behind you.
“Wait. I wanted to apologize”
“Steve is an old grumpy man, don’t sweat it”
“No, not about that. I’m sorry for… being so hard on you when you first got here”
“We deal with aliens and all kinds of threats.  It’s not so crazy to think that an intruder is dangerous. It’s all good, Nat” you shrug your shoulders.
“I just wouldn’t be ok if your Natasha had acted that way with my Y/N”
“Your Y/N?” you repeat, pleased as Natasha blushes. “Good for you, Romanoff. Get the girl. Trust me when I say, she’ll make it worth it” you wiggle your eyebrows.
“Such a flirt”
“We can’t help ourselves around you, no matter the universe”
You wink, and walk to the kitchen, leaving Natasha in the hallway.
Inevitably, she thinks about you. The one that belongs here, with her. Are you enjoying your time in that other universe? Will you resent her for bringing you back? Maybe that Natasha is more loving and sweet, and you’ll finally realise that she can’t actually make you happy…
Her thoughts begin to spiral again, until the commotion in the room breaks her train of thought.
“Damn, you fell from the ceiling” Sam says, looking up. A yellow portal closes just as Natasha opens up the door. Everyone’s around you, and when your face comes to view, Natasha’s heart almost stops.
There’s a little cut and bruising from the fall, but you’re back.
She pushes everyone, and wraps you in her arms. You return the gesture.
“Hey, it’s ok. It’s me”
She hugs you closer, smiling against your neck.
Natasha’s never letting go again.
“So, tell me everything!” you say, sitting next to Natasha as you drive back home. “Did I tell you I almost died to peanut exposure?”
“Looks like someone had fun” your wife comments and you smile.
“What about you, my love? Did you do anything dirty with my other self?”
“Well, there might have been some kissing and touching before I noticed…”
“Not to brag, but the other Natasha was on top of me” you say, trying to pretend like it’s no big deal your wife kissed another you.
“You pissed her off and she threw you to the ground, didn’t she?” Natasha smirks.
Damn it.
“Maybe”
Seeing your daughter brings you back to reality. Fun as it was to be in another universe, your life is perfect here.
“Mommy, are you cooking dinner again tonight?” the girl says as you carry her to the kitchen.
“Uh… let’s have lunch first, yes? Go wash your hands”
Natasha hands you a plate of what the other Y/N made and you gasp.
“Holy crap, this is delicious! Babe, not gonna lie, I wouldn’t have judged you if you fucked her against a wall after tasting her food”
“You’re such an idiot” Natasha rolls her eyes, sitting on your lap and stealing a bite of the pasta. “But you are my idiot”
“Always and in every universe, baby”
You kiss her softly, happy to be home.
1K notes · View notes
yourmcu · 4 months
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Secrets
Summary: You try to keep your relationship a secret!
Natasha Romanoff x Fem!R
It was fun at first.
The thrill of sneaking around, secret glances, hidden touches. It had been quite a ride to get to where you were with Natasha, and knowing how the team could be, you both wanted to keep your relationship to yourselves, at least for a little while.
One of your secret spots were the stairs. With a building so big, it was natural that everyone took the elevator. It was the perfect place to meet the redhead and more often than not, the conversation progressed into an intense make out session that left you breathless.
“Is the elevator broken?” Steve asks as you come back from one of your little escapades. You jump at his presence, your mind still thinking about the feeling of Natasha’s lips on yours.
“Uh… no. It’s working just fine. I like to take the stairs to… exercise”
“That’s a nice idea. Maybe I’ll try it one of these days” he nods.
Cap and his obliviousness, sweet old man. He has no idea you’re all flushed for reasons that have nothing to do with coming up the steps.
Still, you think nothing of it. He was probably trying to be nice when he said it was a good idea. The next day, when you’re lost in Natasha, intoxicated by her supple lips and the way they move against your own, you miss the sound of heavy footsteps and an off key whistle.
“Crap” Natasha is the first to react, breaking apart. You turn to look down, Steve taking the steps two at a time.
Fit bastard.
“Morning!” he says, too happy for your liking.
“Oh, hi, we were just…”
“We?” he echoes, and you look around. No trace of Natasha.
“I mean, me. I was just taking a break. I think I’ll go back to taking the elevator”
“You sure you’re ok?”
“Yeah, just a bit agitated. Nothing to worry, Cap”
Steve nods and smiles.
“I told everyone about your great idea. I think people will start using the stairs more”
“Oh, that’s just peachy”
Once again, he is oblivious to your actual feelings. After he’s gone, Natasha jumps from behind the staircase.
“Jesus, how did you manage to do that so quickly”
“Well, you always have to be ready for a quick escape, detka”
Natasha leans forward and pecks your lips, but before she can do anything else, you drag her back to the hallway.
“You heard Cap. Our secret spot is no longer secret”
So far, you haven’t found a decent replacement for the stairs, except for a supply closet. And by God, you are not that desperate.
As you cook dinner, Natasha comes up behind you, and you relax against her.
“I’ve missed you” she says against your shoulder, placing small kisses that tickle you.
“I missed you too, love”
A hand goes around your middle and she toys with the hem of your shirt, lips kissing your neck, and that sweet spot behind your earlobe that makes you shiver.
“Nat” you moan, and you don’t know if you want her to stop or keep going.
Yelena answers that for you as she steps inside, eyes widening. You draw blank, because honestly, how can you explain this?
Natasha takes matters into her own hands, literally, as she hugs you and pretends to do the Heimlich maneuver.
“She’s choking” Natasha says and Yelena scrambles around.
“Oh, my God, Y/N, please don’t die”
The redhead pretends to help you, squeezing your middle and you cough.
“I think I’m…”
Unfortunately, the blonde is too freaked out and pushes Natasha away, thinking she’s helping you.
As she presses against your sternum, you are suddenly out of breath and you swear you can feel your ribs cracking.
“Ok, I’m fine, Yelena, thanks” you break free of her hold, sure that your sides will be bruised next morning.
Yelena doesn’t let you cook anymore, so you end up with a dinner of mac and cheese, and Natasha’s sister sitting in the middle while you three watch tv.
“I’m sorry” Natasha says when her sister gets up to grab another soda.
“Just for the record, this isn’t the type of choking I had in mind”
“They’re gonna be here any minute” you say against Natasha’s shoulder.
“I know” she bites your neck and you sink further into her lap.
The Quinjet, out of all places is where you find some privacy. The rest of the team will join shortly, as you have a recon mission.
But you can’t keep your hands to yourself and you end up naked, straddling Natasha’s lap as she moves her fingers inside of you.
“God, you look so pretty like this” she says against your chest.
“Nat, more” you plead. It’s too much and too little at the same time. She listens, moving her hand faster and your hips match her pace.
“God. Yes” you collapse in her arms.
“Request to open gate” FRIDAY informs and you curse, because you want more than a second to catch your breath.
Sneaking around is getting old now.
“Come on, let’s get cleaned up” Natasha says, helping you up. She looks proud when your legs shake.
“Shut up” you say, which only makes her smile wider.
While the team enters the Quinjet, you go back to the bathroom with Nat as you hurriedly put your suits on.
“Red? Y/N?” Tony calls for you.
“Here” you raise your arm, feeling a bit tense. Maybe you pulled a muscle.
Stark nods your way and starts the Quinjet, while Steve goes over the plan with everyone else. You stay seated, vaguely aware that something feels different but you can’t tell what it is.
“Be careful” Natasha says when you part ways, squeezing your hand.
Your job is to keep an eye on the guards at the south gate and stop them if they are called to attack the intel team.
Which unfortunately does happen, so you run to shoot, kick and punch at every one of them.
There are two guards left, and as you reach for your gun, something incredibly unexpected happens.
Your suit opens right in the front, revealing your red lacy bra.
“What the fuck” you shout, looking down.
The guard in front of you opens his mouth, completely enthranced by your cleavage.
“New strategy?” Tony flies over, knocking him down. He sends the last man standing across the room.
“No! I don’t know what happened!”
You try to cover but the leather is not giving in.
“Ok, well. We’re done here so you can put all that” he gestures to your chest. “Back in the Quinjet”
Rolling your eyes, and with your arms crossed in front of you, you walk back to the jet.
As you lock eyes with Natasha, you finally notice how her own suit is loose on the shoulders.
You switched when you were getting dressed.
“I like this new look” Sam wiggles his eyebrows and Natasha sends a widow bite straight to his ass.
“Oops” she shrugs her shoulders as he glares.
Feeling a little better after that, you go inside and find a t-shirt to cover up.
When you leave the bathroom, everyone is silent.
“Ok, it’s not like you all haven’t seen boobs before. So get over yourselves. Except Steve, he gets a pass” you bark at them.
“I’ve seen boobs before” he tries to say but no one pays attention.
Natasha stays silent and you think she might be upset or reconsidering this whole thing.
You expect the worse as you land and she leads you back to your room.
“Nat…”
The redhead holds her finger up, taking your shirt off and sinking her face in your breasts.
“Really?”
“Mine” she grumbles, her hands squeezing possessively.
Well, at least some good came out of it.
The atmosphere is tense.
Clint, Wanda, Peter and you are playing Jenga.
Honestly, you are the one at a disadvantage here. With Clint’s aim and the enhanced individuals, you don’t stand a chance.
The way Natasha looks at you from across the room doesn’t help either.
It’s been a few days since you were together. Fury called her for an urgent mission and you had to resist the urge to sneak into the Quinjet and beg her to fuck you against the console.
And now, she’s back and you can’t wait for the night to wrap up so you can wrap your legs around her while she eats your…
“Gah!” Wanda screeches, knocking over the tower. “My mind, my eyes”
Crap.
“Wanda, a word?” you plead, dragging her out of the living room while Clint and Peter stare.
“You” she slaps your arm. “And you” she glares at Natasha as she approaches, pushing you both to her room.
“Sorry, we are keeping it a secret for now”
“But your thoughts are so loud” she massages her temples, clearly distraught. “I was so focused on the game and still I could hear everything, see everything”
“Sorry” you grimace. “Do you think you could… not tell anyone? For a bit”
“Oh, trust me, I’m very eager to pretend none of this happened”
“Thanks, Wanda” Natasha says and the girl nods.
“It’s nice to see you both happy. Just try to keep your thoughts to yourselves”
“We’ll try”
Wanda nods, walking out. Natasha’s quick to push you against the wall, eyes darkened by lust.
“Wanna tell me what was on your mind?”
“Can you at least wait for me to leave the hallway?!” Wanda screams from outside.
“You have ten seconds, Maximoff”
“Thanks, I hate you”
You figure a little distance from everyone will do you good.
So, you get tickets to a Yankees game and spend the day in the city with Natasha.
Even if you are only a half hour away from the Compound, among the sea of people, no one looks at you when you hold her hand, or share a kiss in the middle of your walk.
“This is nice” you smile, bringing her hand to your lips.
The first half of the game is slow, but you enjoy the time eating popcorn and making comments with Natasha about the score.
During the break, several people in the audience are featured in the screens. A girl chugs an entire beer while the crowd goes wild.
“Damn” you laugh, but the next image you see is you, next to Natasha.
The kiss cam.
“No, we’re fine” you wave your arms and the crowd boos. “Ok, not nice!”
“Don’t be such a baby” she smiles, pulling you closer.
“Pretty sure Steve and Bucky are watching the game back home”
“You jump, I jump” she leans forward, allowing you to decide if you wanna do this or not. As your lips meet in a short kiss, everyone starts clapping and cheering you on.
“Are you sure about what we just did?”
“Very. I’m tired of hiding. You make me happy. What’s wrong with that?” Natasha says and you smile against her lips.
“You are so getting lucky tonight”
But before you can kiss her again, both of your phones go crazy with texts from everyone on the team.
Tony: Is this why Wanda asked me for a way to erase her memory?
Sam: Now I know why you electrocuted my ass, Red!
Wanda: DONT COME NEAR ME
“Still think we made the right call?” you roll your eyes as the texts keep coming.
“Absolutely, detka” she says before kissing you softly.
Yeah. It’s gonna be ok.
927 notes · View notes
yourmcu · 4 months
Text
liar liar (i see right through you)
natasha romanoff x fem reader
prompt: “it wasn’t real.” “it was to me.” “did you ever even love me?” “no. i never loved you.”
summary - after your apartment is broken into, natasha realizes she loves you too much to put you in danger. so she breaks up with you.
warnings: mentions of a break-in, smoking, breakups, angst, ptsd mentions, jealousy, mean nat, fluffy ending, happy ending. natasha’s an emotionally repressed idiot.
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natasha knew she was in too deep from the moment she met you. she introduced herself, and you had absolutely no idea who black widow or natasha romanoff was. it was refreshing, seeing that little sheepish blush on your face when your friend whispered in your ear, and told you who natasha was. the nervously cute way you played with your fingers, yet you genuinely laughed at everything she said. she fell for you from the moment she had met you at one of tony’s parties. you were a new intern for one of his companies, and tony specifically wanted to introduce you two. natasha was reluctant, until she met you. everything about you seemed to make her heart smile.
you had a witty response for everything, and natasha loved that. natasha loves you, and that’s the problem. in her line of work, love is weakness. love is what your enemies use to torture you. she can’t ever let anything bad happen to you, not even herself. because natasha romanoff is the worst person on the planet, regardless of the starry eyes you give her, or how you don’t flinch away when she touches you. despite knowing her past. the soft touches you leave on her body, along with those delicate kisses. everything about you makes natasha weak, and for a moment, she doesn’t care. that moment lasts a whole year, until you get hurt.
the police concluded it was a home invasion gone wrong, but the intruder didn’t dare try to steal anything. he cut the side of your cheek, and warned you that he’d be back. natasha had a gut wrenching feeling that it was one of her enemies; she knew it was. coming after the one thing she loves the most. he almost had you— he could have killed you. he didn’t, but he could have, and that’s the message he wanted to send natasha. and where was miss romanoff that night? on a mission halfway across the world.
of course wanda and tony had shown up at the station rather quickly, and they comforted you till natasha raced home as quickly as she could. the pure heartbreak in her eyes was agonizing as she saw the cut on the side of your face, and all the little voices in her head told her that it was her fault. she engulfed you into her arms for an hour as you sobbed and admitted how scared you were. how vulnerable you felt. natasha held you that night, as her thoughts ran wild. you slept soundly, feeling safe in her arms, while she felt like some wild beast you were trying to domesticate.
you go to work the next day, despite natasha’s request for you to say home. you insist on going on with your normal routine, and that you aren’t going to let this get to you. you don’t tell her it already has, just like it’s already gotten to her as well. when you leave, natasha’s alone in your apartment, and alone with her thoughts. things she hasn’t thought about since before she even met you. she thinks about your pretty face, and the scar that cuts going to leave. how you’ll always remember every time you look at it; how she’ll always remember every time she looks at it.
she’s waiting for you when you get home. sitting on the couch, sitting as straight as a robot. she doesn’t look at you right away, and when she does she has an inscrutable look in her eyes. “are you okay, nat?” you ask softly, and she wants to scoff at the ridiculous question. you’re in danger; of course she’s not okay. “i have to go.” she says, and your face softens. “on a mission? so soon?” you ask as you make your way to the couch to kiss her cheek. she tenses and you furrow your eyebrows as you pull away and stare at her questioningly. “no. i have to go. i have to leave your apartment. i can’t be here anymore.” she says and your expression turns serious. “w-what do you mean?” you ask uncertainly.
“is this because of what happened yesterday? because i already started looking for a new apartment, nat. it’ll be okay.” you promise, and her jaw tenses as she grips on her jeans. “no, it’s not okay. i don’t care if you get a new apartment, i can no longer be here. around you.” she elaborates and you freeze at the admission. “what?” you ask in a voice barely above a whisper. “this... it’s gone on too long. i didn’t intend to go this far with you.” she utters the words that make you back away slowly; as if the enter place was going to cave in.
“you— you didn’t intend for this to go that far? what are you talk about, natasha?” you ask, and the sound of her name makes her look at you. there’s something in her eyes beneath all that exhaustion. what she’s tired of, you don’t know, but you can’t dwell. too many thoughts are circling in on you. “i mean, we both know i was never the relationship type. that hasn’t changed.” she states, making you flash her a look of disbelief. “of course it’s changed! we’ve been together for a year, natasha! a year! you’ve been a wonderful girlfriend, where the hell is this coming from?” you ask a bit demandingly, and she shakes her head.
“that means nothing. this year meant nothing.” she lies right through her teeth, but the words sound so honest as they hit you. your whole body goes cold, and you wrap your arms around yourself for some kind of comfort, “nothing? h-how could you even say that? what about everything we did— everything you said.” you try, sounding so desperate as your voice breaks. your throat hurts and tears are stinging your eyes. the sound and sight of you makes natasha’s heart shatter in her chest. “it didn’t mean anything. it wasn’t real.” natasha says coldly as she stands up. suddenly this is becoming too excruciatingly real. just yesterday she was holding you in her arms, keeping you safe. just yesterday she uttered those three words. ‘i love you’.
“it was to me.” you whisper.
a tear falls from your eyes as you look up at natasha who’s standing a few feet away. it’s pretty fucked up that all you want is for her to wrap her strong arms around you and make you feel better. she says nothing, all she does is stare at you as if you’re a stranger. as if you’re not the girl she’s been making love to for the last year. you swallow thickly, “did you ever even love me?” you ask, trying so hard to keep your voice steady. the question nearly winds natasha, but her eyes land on the cut on your cheek. the reality sets in. she has to do this.
natasha goes into assassin mode; all of the emotion leaves her face and eyes. “no. i never loved you.” she simplifies, and natasha can see the exact moment she broke your heart. it’s engraved into her mind, and amongst all of the terrible things she’s done, this one makes the top three. your bottom lip trembles, but you bite down on it hard to keep it steady. “i-i’ll help you pack your—“ you try but she cuts you off. “i already handled it this morning.” natasha responds curtly, and your heart sinks. she planned this. she was planning on leaving you. you wondered how long she’s been thinking about leaving; how many nights she’s spent in your bed feeling suffocated by you.
“goodbye y/n.” she says, and as you look up at her through teary eyes, you can see what looks like regret behind her own. why is she doing this? she doesn’t really want to leave, does she? her eyes say no, but she just said all those awful things. you blink, trying to blink the tears away but they fall rapidly, multiplying. she’s walking away now. she’s making her way to the front door, and you know this time she’s never coming back. never.
your voice is stuck in your throat and the words physically crawl out, “please don’t go.” you try to whisper, but it comes out as a pathetic whimper instead. natasha turns her head, but your back is to her. you don’t want to watch her leave. you don’t think your heart could take having that image burned into your mind. tears well up in the assassins eyes as she takes your image in one last time. you in this apartment. you with your work uniform on that you hate. your hair in an unruly ponytail after a long day. it takes everything in natasha to turn towards the door, and walk out.
but she does. she leaves, and as soon as that door shuts again, the haunting realization that it will never be open for her again makes the tears in her eyes fall. she turns back around, she doesn’t want to go. she wants to walk in and tell you everything she just said was complete and utter bullshit. she wants to tell you she loves you so much the thought of anything happening to you because of her makes her want to die. she hears the muffled sobs through the door, and her heart breaks even more than before. she broke you. she broke you, but she will not be the reason you die. you being sad is better than you being dead.
right?
//
six months. it’s been six months since you heard from natasha. the first few months felt like hell. all you did was cry, or try not to cry. you barely left your house unless it was for work; not to mention the ptsd from the break in. you moved into a new apartment a few days ago. it feels a bit better. now that you live on a different side of town, you feel a bit safer, but a part of you wonders if natasha will ever knock on your old door and be surprised when someone else answers.
you push that thought away quickly as you get ready for one of tony’s infamous company parties. it’s at the avenger headquarters, so you don’t know if you’ll be seeing natasha, but you put on a tiny black dress and curl your hair to be prepared. you’re not going alone; you’ve been casually dating your coworker johnny for a month now. you decided to bring him as your plus one. you don’t really know how you feel about johnny. he’s sweet, and you’re trying to move on with your life without natasha.
natasha on the other hand; she’s an angry mess without you. she spends her days in the compound when she’s not training or on missions. she’s built so much arm muscle in the last six months just to keep herself busy from thinking about you. you and your smile. she isn’t sure if you’ve moved on, or if that smile is directed at someone new. she hopes not.
she keeps a picture of you by her bed, and she thinks about you every day. sometimes, when she’s in town and drives by your apartment, she thinks about stopping by. she thinks about pouring her heart out to you, and telling you the truth. then she thinks about the way you looked at her that night; the words she said to you that she didn’t mean. that evening’s been replaying in her mind since she left you. god, she hasn’t stopped seeing your face every time she shuts her eyes. she remembers how it felt to have you in her arms; or when she’d wake up to you. she hasn’t been with anybody since you, and she doesn’t want to be. sure, she’s gotten offers, and there were a number of women and men in the compound who wanted a piece of her, but all she could think about was you. it was as if you plagued her thoughts twenty-four seven.
natasha romanoff has never been in love before you. she had never really felt much of anything before you other than anger. meeting you was like putting water on a fire that’s been burning for so long. a fire nobody else could put out except for you. there was no more fire though; just a drought.
the redhead glances down at her glass of expensive champagne as she stands at the bar wearing a tight red dress. the room is full of shield agents, and her teammates, along with other various workers who worked for fury and tony. there were a hoard of people she’s known for years, some longer than a decade, yet she’s never felt more alone. just as the widow is standing around feeling sorry for herself, she hears the most gorgeous sound in the world. for a moment she thinks she’s hallucinating. it’s your giggle.
natasha looks up, and her eyes lock on you. you’re wearing a tight black dress, and a pair of matching black doc martens. your hair is curled perfectly, yet your back is to natasha and she can’t see your face. her heart falls into her stomach as she sees a tall man standing beside you, he slinks his arm around your waist, and kisses your cheek. you’ve moved on. of course you moved on, you’re wonderful. natasha frowns as she looks down at her half empty glass.
“need something stronger?” yelena asks, pulling natasha out of her thoughts. the redhead turns to look at her younger sister who’s now holding out a flask for natasha to take. natasha gladly accepts, taking the flask and chugging quickly. the taller woman can’t help but stare at you. you turn your body to the side to look at the man you’re here with. he’s talking about something and you’re listening to every word he says. just like you used to listen to her.
“she looks good.” yelena comments, reaching for the flask. natasha scowls, “she always looks good.” the older woman mutters, making yelena chuckle as she shakes her head. “идиот (idiot).” yelena mutters, and natasha glares at the blonde, “you’re an idiot! three years ago you were calling a seatbelt a strap on!” natasha snaps, and yelena’s smirk deepens. “you’ve been such a bitch lately, and now i see why. did y/n ditch you for him?” she asks with a hint of amusement, yet her eyes linger on your date longer than their supposed to. if natasha wanted to kill this guy, yelena already had five different ways to do it running through her mind. “no. i told you, i broke up with her. it was just a fling.” natasha lies horribly and yelena scoffs.
“a fling is that stupid thing you had with green superhero. what you had with her was different, and it’s gonna take a lot of convincing for you to make me believe you broke up with her.” yelena laughs, and natasha glowers at the younger woman, “and why exactly is me breaking up with her so hard to believe?” natasha inquires, causing yelena to shoot her a knowing expression. “because you’re in love with her.” yelena acknowledges, and the redhead tenses at the words. she knows they’re true. everyone in this damn room except for you knows it.
“she’s better without me.” natasha affirms, making yelena stare at her as if she’s gone crazy. “before we broke up, someone tried to hurt her. they broke in while i was on a mission and cut her face, yel. the police say it was a home invasion gone wrong.” natasha scoffs and yelena raises a brow. “you don’t think so?” she asks and natasha offers her a serious look. “it was a message. it had to have been. it made me realize just how many enemies i’ve made. she’s better off without me, because next time it won’t just be a cut to her face and i’d never forgive myself for it.” natasha hisses under her breath, and yelena purses her lips.
“yes, i felt the same before i let myself be happy with kate. but you have to realize danger is everywhere, right? that guy could murder her in her sleep and we wouldn’t even be prepared for it.” the blonde adds bluntly, and natasha’s eyes widen. “why the hell would you say that?!” the redhead asks with a hiss, and yelena rolls her eyes, “because it’s true. the only way you’re gonna be able to keep her safe is by protecting her, and how are you gonna do that from far away?” yelena asks pointedly.
the redhead looks over at you, and as if on cue, you look up and your eyes lock with hers. time stills as your eyes lock with those emerald green orbs. still as beautiful as ever. your breath gets caught in your throat, and within a second all of your progress in the past six months comes crumbling down. you get lost in her eyes for a split second, before looking away quickly. your chest aches as you swallow whats in your glass, and try to focus on whatever johnny and bucky are talking about.
natasha’s gaze is glued to your back for a good five seconds after that. yelena’s chuckle pulls her out of her trance. “you are both идиоты (idiots).” yelena confirms, and natasha shoots daggers at yelena with her eyes. natasha snatches the flask out of her sisters hands and finishes what’s left, causing yelena’s jaw to drop in offense. “that was the only vodka i brought!” the blonde is borderline pouting, causing natasha to roll her eyes. “i needed it more than you did. i’m getting out of here.” natasha remarks as she places the flask in yelena’s hands before the redhead walks away.
natasha turns her head to look at you one more time, except you’re no longer standing in the same place as you were before. natasha’s stomach burns with jealousy as she thinks about you going home with your date. she tries to push that thought far away as she exits the party, and makes her way to the elevator. now her mind is centering around you, and your laugh. how beautiful you looked tonight. you’re always so beautiful. her fists clench as the image of someone else with their arm around your waist is now branded into her mind. she knows she has no right to feel this way; but she still feels undeniably jealous.
as she steps outside of the building, her eyes lock with yours. you’re smoking a cigarette on your own. natasha freezes in her tracks right outside of the entrance of the building. neither of you make a move, or say a word. you blink a few times, your heart is pounding, and you can’t even bring yourself to say anything. she looks down at the cigarette in your right hand. “you smoke now?” she asks, and a wave of disbelief washes over you. she hasn’t dared to reach out for months, and the first thing she says to you when she sees you is that?
you shrug, keeping your composure. “i picked it up.” you respond curtly, as you turn away from her, and continue to smoke. natasha bites the inside of her cheek hard, refraining herself from saying anything, yet she doesn’t make any movement to walk away. “where’s your boyfriend?” she asks blandly, and you roll your eyes, your back still to her. “he’s not my boyfriend. we came in separate cars, and he left.” you respond simply, and she nods slowly. you’re still refusing to look at her, but she’s practically gaping at you.
“you look good.” she adds, breaking the short silence. you sigh as you toss your nearly finished cigarette on the ground. you turn to look at her, a deadly serious look in your eyes and it nearly makes the ex assassin gulp. “don’t do that.” you warn, causing natasha to knit her brows together, “do what?” she questions, and you flash her a pointed look. “the small talk. stop trying to pretend like you care about anything pertaining me. we don’t have to talk. ever. you can keep walking.” you say, gesturing your hand towards the parking lot. you swear a wave of hurt flashes through natasha’s eyes, but she regains herself quite quickly. she clears her throat, “i do care. i care about you so much.” she claims, and she takes a step closer to you. instinctively you take a step back; the hurt in her green, jewel colored orbs clear as day now.
“six months later and you’re still a liar? you know, you should have been an actress, natasha. i guess if you ever decide to quit the avengers, you have something to fall back on.” you snap as you start to walk away. “wait— please don’t go yet. i just wanted to apologize.” she tries, trailing behind you. you come to an abrupt stop, causing her to halt. you turn around, tears are in your eyes yet you look undoubtedly angry. “apologize? for what? for walking out on me when i needed you, or for wasting a year of my life with your lies?” you ask harshly, and her shoulders deflate. “i know what i said that night—“ she tries, but you cut her off.
pure rage flashes through your eyes, “don’t. that night... that night was the only honest night of our relationship. the rest of it was all a lie.” your voice is cruel, and natasha feels herself shrinking. is this how you felt that night? “please i—“ she tries, but you shake your head. “no, natasha. i don’t want to hear it. you’ve had months to try to talk to me, months to explain yourself. i’ve moved on.” you’re lying right through your teeth, but the way her face changes into an obvious pained expression is, in the moment satisfying. hurting her the way she hurt you feels good in this moment.
natasha looks down at her shoes, her throat aches and her eyes are burning with tears. she blinks them away quickly, nodding as she looks up at you. “can you— can you at least tell me that you’re happy? just tell me you’re happy without me, and i swear i’ll leave you alone. i won’t try to explain myself, or ever bother you again.” natasha swears, and you blink, your eyes set on hers. all you can hear are those words she said to you. those words you’ve heard in your head every night for the last six months. ‘i never loved you’. those nights making love to you, whispering how much she loved you in your ear; that was all a lie.
the bitter, furious expression etches itself onto your features, “i’m happy. much happier. thank you for leaving my life, it was the best thing you ever did for me.” you spit coldly, and the moment the words leave your mouth you regret them. the way her face looks; it’s as if you just slapped her. she backs away from you slowly, nodding as she pries her eyes away from you. her hands are at her side, and she’s standing there robotically, kind of like she has no idea what to do with herself. the anger leisurely exits your body, and suddenly, under the pale lighting of the moon, you can see just how broken natasha looks.
“i’m sorry for bothering you. goodnight.” her tone is barely above a whisper, and she turns around on her heels and quickly disappears back into the building. you stand there for what feels like ages; you don’t even realize you’re crying until you lick your lips and taste the salty tears mixed with the faded strawberry flavor of your lipgloss. she hurt you terribly, yet you can’t help but feel irrefutably guilty as you think about how she looked at you after those lies left your mouth just now. you weren’t happy without natasha; how could you be? you’ve just felt so used, hurt, and angry, you wanted to hurt her feelings like she hurt yours. it felt good for a few moments, but now you just feel awful.
you close your eyes and rub your palms across your stained cheeks, wiping your tears away roughly. at least you evened out the score now. who are you kidding? you’d let her win every battle if it meant she’d come back. but she doesn’t love you. why was she even trying to talk to you in the first place?
that night thoughts of natasha plague your mind. what explanation could she possibly have? what more could she need to say? didn’t she say everything she needed to the night she dumped you? you sigh, tossing and turning in your bed. this is for the better. being without her is better than being with someone who doesn’t really love you. regardless of how much it hurts. still, the look she gave you tonight is stuck in your brain.
//
all of your progress you’ve made over the last half year, seems to be lost. you realize how in love you still are with natasha as soon as you can’t stop thinking about her after that night. as soon as you realize no matter how much you want to, you can’t hate her. no matter how much she hurt you; no matter how used you feel... you still miss her more than anything. if you were being honest, all you wanted was for her to knock on your door and beg for your forgiveness. even though you know she doesn’t deserve it.
the weeks go on, and october rolls by. you break things off with johnny before he catches any serious feelings, and luckily, you get promoted at work so you don’t have to see him every day anymore. your financial life seems to be getting better, yet you can’t help but feel as if you’re living like a robot. living day to day; forcing yourself to eat, work, and breathe. a part of you lives with the constant nagging; that little voice in your head that makes you feel so small. it tells you horrible things.
‘you were never enough for nat.’
‘of course she lied about loving you, who would?’
‘you can’t do anything right today, it’s no wonder natasha left you so easily.’
‘she probably found someone better.’
of course, these thoughts aren’t happening 24/7, but they are getting more consistent. one week it gets so bad you don’t go a single night without crying. you call into work for three days straight before showing up and going right to tony’s office. you knock lightly, and he looks up from his laptop, smiling a friendly smile at you. “good morning, y/n! what can i do for ya?” he asks, and you flash him a watery smile. immediately the older man can see somethings wrong. your skirt and blouse, that are usually as prim and proper as you, are wrinkled. the bags under your eyes are evident, and it’s clear you aren’t wearing any makeup.
“good morning, mr. stark. i-i know i called out for a few days this week, but i have a few weeks of vacation time available... i was wondering if i could use a week of it?” you ask a bit nervously, looking down at your fingers while playing with them. “of course you can. though, you haven’t taken a vacation in years. is everything alright?” he asks, and you look up, nodding too quickly for his liking. “yup! everything’s fine! just planning on visiting my parents.” you lie. you haven’t visited your parents in years due to your rocky relationship with them.
he stares at you, seemingly unconvinced. he nods reluctantly, “alright... well, if you want to start your vacation today, you can. i’ll put it in right now.” he says, and you smile gratefully. “thank you, mr. stark. i’ll see you next week. have a wonderful day.” you muster up sincerely, and he smiles kindly at you. “you too. if you ever need to talk, just remember you’re not alone. you dated one of my best friends for a year, you became my friend.” he reminds and you smile sadly. “thank you, tony. i’m fine.” you lie, and he nods reluctantly.
“well, alright...” he trails off as he watches you walk out of his office. “don’t forget your sunscreen! vegas is sunny, even this time of year!” he warns, and this, earns a sincere chuckle from you.
tony tries to push the thought out of his mind, but he brings it up to pepper that night before bed. “i’m sure she’s just going through a hard time because of the breakup...?” pepper asks and he sighs, “that’s just it; over the last few months she’s been thriving! i even heard she had a thing with that johnny boy from HR. but after that party a few weeks ago things changed. i’m telling you, babe, the kids been a zombie at work. she called out for the last three days, and today she requested a week long vacation!” he admits, and pepper frowns.
“a vacation? since when does y/n ever want a vacation? she loves work...” pepper mutters, and tony flashes her an ‘i told you so’ expression. “was natasha at that party?” the blonde asks, and tony thinks for a moment, before nodding. “hey, you know now that i think about it, i think they sort of disappeared at the same time... do you— do you think they hooked up??” tony asks a bit scandalously. pepper laughs at her husbands love of gossip, “hmm... maybe. i don’t know... did natasha ever tell you why they broke up?” pepper asks curiously, and tony shakes his head.
“of course not. she just came back to the compound one night and asked for her old room back. we put two and two together when we stopped seeing y/n hanging around. i never asked y/n about it because it was right after her apartment got broken into. poor kid had to deal with that huge cut on her face, and a breakup. i didn’t want to pry.” tony confesses, and pepper furrows her eyebrows. “why would natasha break up with her right after that? i know natasha isn’t the most loving person, but we all know she was head over heels for y/n. there was no way she just decided to breakup with her for no reason. especially while y/n was going through that.” pepper points out.
tony makes a face, “i don’t know... nat’s kind of an ass...” he trails off jokingly, and pepper hits his shoulder, causing him to laugh. “i’m kidding. look, i go to the compound tomorrow to help peter train. i’ll ask nat about y/n. i’ll gather some more information for you.” he winks at his wife, making her giggle as she shakes her head in amusement. “normally i’d advise you not to get involved, but somebody needs to get those two back together already.” she huffs.
natasha hasn’t gotten more than an hour of sleep since her last encounter with you. seeing you look so beautiful, so happy without her makes her realize all her insecurities were true. you found someone better, someone who deserves your love and kindness. someone who can tell you how they feel without struggling with their emotions. someone who can hold you at night, and allow you to sleep without having nightmares that wake the both of you up. someone normal.
she’s been living on autopilot since she left you, and she has a feeling that’s not going to change. how is it that she can’t imagine her life before you? it was only a year... a year of your smiles, gentle touches, and delicate kisses. the purest love natasha has ever received. it’s no wonder she couldn’t return it the way she should have. she loves you. more than she’s ever loved anything. but she lost you, and she knows there’s no way to get you back.
“jeez, you look awful.” tony’s voice causes natasha to roll her eyes as she waits for the coffee machine to finish up her drink. she doesn’t even bother looking at the older man, “because you know so much about looking good.” she mutters under her breath and tony steps closer. he gets a look at the bags under natasha’s eyes, and the way her eyes are hard and fixated on her mug. “she’s miserable without you, you know?” tony asks, breaking the short silence. natasha tenses, she knows he’s talking about you. “that’s not what i saw.” she mumbles.
“the eyes can be deceiving.” he reminds, and natasha responds with silence. he sighs as he runs his fingers through his hair. “when are you going to stop this? you’re both miserable, and it’s obvious as hell that you don’t want to be here, nat. you want to be with her.” he says adamantly, and natasha slams her mug down onto the counter so hard it nearly shatters. “she’s safer without me, stark!” natasha snaps, and tony looks taken back for a moment.
“you don’t know what it’s like to have so many enemies you can’t even go on a mission without someone trying to hurt the person you love.” natasha’s voice is stern, and her brows are pinched together while her eyes are glossy. tony looks at her for a second without saying anything, “that guy who broke into her old apartment... it wasn’t a robbery gone wrong was it?” he asks and natasha’s jaw tenses before she answer. “no. it wasn’t.” she retorts bluntly, but the way she’s still refusing to meet tony’s eyes shows him just how much this has been eating her up.
“you know, no matter how wrong you think you are for her, nobody gets to decide that but her. i can’t tell you she’s never going to get hurt, and i can’t tell you if that fear of her getting hurt when you aren’t around will ever go away. trust me, i know that fear, natasha. but i also know love, and so do you. you can’t just pretend not to love someone because you’re afraid of the outcome. i’ve known you for eleven years now, and never once have i seen you as happy as you are with her.” he points out, and natasha snaps her mouth shut.
“she’s with somebody else now.” natasha announces, and tony scoffs. “who, johnny from HR? word around the office is they stopped seeing each other last month. right after that party i threw here.” he says and natasha’s entire expression changes. she turns her head to look at him, searching his face for any sign of dishonesty. “w-why?” natasha asks, and he flashes her a knowing look, “i’ll give you three guesses but you only need one.” he taunts, and natasha chews on the inside of her cheek.
“she doesn’t want to talk to me. in fact, at the shield party she told me she was happier without me.” natasha swallows thickly as she remembers your exact words. tony rolls his eyes as he crosses his arms, “happier? natasha, she spent the last six and a half months throwing herself into work and refusing to say your name. then all of a sudden she sees you at the shield party and she’s missing work, and using her pto?” he asks, and natasha pauses, scrunching her brows together. “she’s missing work? she never misses work, she loves work.” natasha says, more to herself than to tony.
the older man flashes the redhead a look, “i know. which is why i’m worried about you both. you should go check on her.” he urges, causing natasha to shoot daggers at him with her eyes. “go see her?? i don’t even have her new address!” she hisses and he raises his brows. she falters for a moment, “okay... maybe i have the address... but i don’t have the apartment number!” she proclaims, and tony shakes his head, chuckling. “apartment 345. seriously, nat, think about going to check on her. even if it doesn’t mend your relationship, at least you’ll know she’s alright.” he says simply, before stealing the fresh coffee natasha hasn’t even taken a sip of yet.
she glowers at him as he slips away, making her sigh in defeat. she knows she can’t keep living like this. living without you.
//
it takes natasha two whole days to work up the courage to show up at your apartment. even after she’s standing right in front of your door. she looks down at her boots and sighs. what is she doing? she can’t try to win you back after all those things she said. “natasha?” your voice from behind her causes her to freeze. “what are you doing here?” you ask with a handful of grocery bags. she turns around to see you; you in your oversized flannel jacket and ripped jeans, along with a cropped top. you furrow your eyebrows because she’s staring at you as if she’s looking at you for the first time.
“how did you get my address?” you ask uncertainly, and your face changes. “you’re a spy. you literally are a professional at gathering intel... i’ll stop asking stupid questions now.” you mutter as you nudge her to the side softly to get to your door. you push it open and your greeted with your german shepherd puppy, “hi sweetheart.” you greet her and natasha eyes the dog who comes rushing over to her and starts jumping around her legs.
“that’s winnie. i got her last month.” you admit, and you sigh tiredly as you see a pee stain on the wooden floor. “she’s still learning how to live as a civilized lady.” you admit as you set the bags on the counter and walk over to the mop near your kitchen. you look up and see natasha kneeling down and stroking your puppy’s head, the sight tugs on your heartstrings. “she’s cute.” natasha confirms, and you smirk as you mop up winnie’s mess. “thanks...” you trail off as a silence washes over you both.
“would you—“
“i just came by to—“
you both start speaking simultaneously, causing you to bite your bottom lip. she stares at you, silently offering you to go first. “would you like something to drink? i can make hot chocolate.” you ask calmly, and she shakes her head. “no thank you... i just... i know i promised to leave you alone... but i... i can’t stop thinking about you. i’ve felt like i’ve been living my life on autopilot without you. i’m sorry. i know i shouldn’t be here, but i’ve never felt this way before.” she confesses, standing by the front door, her emerald eyes pouring into yours as she stares at you with an expression you can’t even read. she looks even more broken than when you last saw her.
your fingers are playing with the ends of your flannel jacket, and you stare at her for awhile. “wh-why did you do that? you lied to me for a year. a whole year, natasha.” your voice cracks as you speak, and you mentally curse yourself for it. natasha’s fingernails dig into her palm as she clenches her fists, and she shakes her head. “no. the time we spent together was the greatest time of my life. i lied to you that night. i... you don’t understand, that man who broke in, he wasn’t just an intruder... i put you in danger. i have too many enemies, and i knew you wouldn’t just let me go. so i hurt you, and i’m sorry.” natasha sounds full of shame and regret, and your brows scrunch together in confusion and a bit of anger.
“so you lied?? you said all of those horrible things so it’d be easier for me to let you go?? natasha— it wasn’t any easier for me to let you go! it felt like someone cut a hole in my chest!” you’re nearly shouting, your hand over your chest in emphasis. natasha shuts her eyes, a ragged breath escaping her lips as she tries to ignore the tears threatening to leave her eyes. when she opens them again, you can see the tears brimming in those emerald orbs, “i’m sorry... i’m so sorry, i thought you’d be better without me...” her voice is faint and your heart cracks in your chest at the sight of her. “why would you think that? i love you, natasha. you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me.” you say sincerely, and this causes her heart to flutter. natasha doesn’t even realize she’s crying until she can feel the tears streaming down her cheeks, and falling off her jaw onto her collarbone.
“you love me again...?” she asks in complete shock. you shake your head, your own eyes full of tears. “i never stopped, nat.” you confess earnestly, and her bottom lip is quivering as her tears won’t stop. “i’m sorry, detka. i’m so sorry i left you. i love you so much, i always have.” her hands are shaking and it’s like your body has a mind of its own as you walk over to her slowly. you carefully inch up to her with your arms open, and her heart palpitates against your chest as she gladly reaches for you and pulls you against her.
her strong embrace engulfs you, and the smell of her makes you start to sob. you don’t know how long you two are standing there like this. your arms around her waist and her arms around your neck, holding you to her chest. your tears were surely staining her shirt, but you didn’t care. you’ve missed her so much, she’s all you’ve been able to think about for months. “you can’t just do that, nat. you can’t— you can’t just make decisions for my benefit without talking to me about it.” you say sternly as you push her away, looking up at her with a stringent expression, yet the widow could see the vulnerability seeping through.
“i promise i’ll never leave you again, detka. not as long as i’m breathing.” she swears, as she pulls you in again, kissing your head as she keeps you held tightly. that’s a promise natasha intends to keep.
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yourmcu · 7 months
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hey beautiful could u write about a nat x reader break up and there’s so much tension between them until they both break at a dinner party with the team and their dates 😋
Hey Friend! You're so sweet. I hope this lands somewhere in the ballpark of what you were hoping for. Thank you for the request!
No Use In You Trying, Baby
You are invited to a dinner party. Reluctantly, you go and run into your ex.
Natasha Romanoff x fem Reader
Warnings: Hurt feelings. Language Cap wouldn't approve of.
Word Count: 2.8k
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You were content to spend all your time in your lab. It was your happy place. Your playground. This was where you could think clearly, and where all your best ideas originated from. Plus, it wasn’t as if you were hiding away in some basement cut off from the outside world. Your lab at the Compound was huge and had plenty of equally huge windows that allowed plenty of bright, warm sunlight in. And if you needed to socialize, there were plenty of people who walked by your lab daily. 
But you didn’t want to socialize. You wanted to focus on your work because for the first time in months you were finally making progress. Broken equipment and weapons that had just been sitting in your lab were finally leaving polished and new. Projects that had just only been sitting nestled in the back of your mind were suddenly finding life. It was amazing what you could accomplish in a single day without any distractions. 
You rolled backwards on your black swivel chair as you stared at your notes on the yellow legal pad in your hands. You were curious what Clint would think of your idea for this new arrow. The idea had come to you last night, and you had been thinking about it ever since. The back of your chair pressed against one of the many lab tables. You lowered your notepad and turned. All thoughts regarding your new arrow idea fled at the sight of the batons laying on the table. 
You held the batons in your hands and your brow furrowed as your thumbs pressed down on the button built into the base of the weapon. The usual quiet hum of the electrical discharge was silent. You tapped both of the batons together as if that would fix the problem, but nothing changed. 
A pair of arms wrapped around you from behind. Familiar, warm hands settled against your stomach while her chin came to rest over your left shoulder. 
“I tried that too,” her voice brushed against your ear. 
You sighed as you studied the twin weapons. “It shouldn’t be too hard to fix. It’s probably a broken conductor or…” You trailed off when you felt her hands travel lower. Her fingers slipped underneath the hem of your shirt. 
Who the hell put those there? 
“Incoming call from Mr. Stark,” F.R.I.D.A.Y’s voice penetrated the quiet of your lab. 
You stood up and collected the batons. “Put him through.” You listened as Tony’s voice echoed throughout your lab. You carried the batons over to a growing stack of boxes running along the right side of your lab. You opened up the lid on one of the cardboard boxes as Tony went into detail about partnering up on another project he had in mind. You listened for key words while your thumb pressed down on the button at the base of one of the batons. You frowned. Still broken. 
“I also need you at the Tower tonight,” Tony said. 
You dumped the batons into the box. “Why?” 
“Because I’m throwing together a little dinner party,” Tony replied. “Just the team. We haven’t done one of those in a while.”  
“I’m busy,” your reply was automatic. 
“You finished your last official project two weeks ago.” 
“I’m working through my backlog,” you replied. 
“Fine,” Tony said. There was a moment of quiet when you wondered if he had hung up the phone. Your question was answered when you turned your back to the boxes. “I’ll be very interested to see how you manage to do that without any power.”
“You can’t be serious.” 
“Trust me, I’m wearing my serious face,” Tony replied. “I can demonstrate if you want.” 
The lights in your lab flickered.
“Fine. I’ll be there.” 
– – – 
You used to spend most of your time at Avengers Tower. This was where you got your start working for Tony Stark. When you first arrived at the Tower, you thought the labs there couldn’t get any better. You had been allowed to play around with tech you could only fantasize about. The amount of resources you had at your disposal was endless. It was fun. You loved creating weapons and upgrading equipment for the team. There were few things better than challenging yourself to create something better than the perfect project you just finished. 
When you entered the Tower, you were tempted to just go to your old floor. You hadn’t been able to move everything from your old lab to your new one at the Compound. Playing around with what you had left behind seemed like a better idea than attending a dinner party. It wasn’t that you didn’t want to see the team. You did. But it hadn’t even been a month since your last conversation with Natasha. The one that had ended badly. You knew she would be here, and the last thing you wanted to do was see her. Because then everything you had been ignoring would come rushing back. You wouldn’t know what to say, and everything would just be easier if you kept your distance. 
Too bad you weren’t going to get what you wanted. 
When you reached the top floor, Tony was the first to greet you. It seemed you were the last to arrive as the rest of the team were talking amongst each other. You spotted familiar faces. Most of the team had brought along their dates. It made you want to leave even more, but you put on your best smile as you made small talk with the team. Thor was in the middle of telling you a tale of his most recent battle when you saw her. 
She was standing near the bar talking to Laura. Despite trying your best to focus on Thor’s story, you couldn’t help but notice that she looked beautiful. Then again, Natasha always looked stunning. The black dress she wore now only complimented her features. Or rather, the dress acted more like a reminder of a lost privilege. You gripped your glass of expensive wine tighter at the thought. Privilege? You hadn’t lost anything like that. Just a relationship that was bound to crash and burn. 
“...and then he went flying off the mountain,” Thor’s laugh drew your attention back to the god. “Never thought it’d end like that.” He shook his head and then took a long drink from his flask. “So, I hear you spend your time forging new weapons.”
“Uh, yeah,” you looked past Thor. Natasha smiled at something Laura had said. Stop it. You focused back on Thor and started talking about all the projects you had completed recently. You chose to only talk about the projects you knew would keep Thor’s attention: equipment upgrades, a very close to being completed laser sword, and an attempt to copy his hammer. He found that last bit very funny. 
You were grateful when everyone was summoned to the table for the actual dinner. All you had to do now was eat the food, make a tiny amount of more small talk, and then you could leave. You already had your excuses prepared. But as you approached the table, you realized that Tony had thrown a curveball your way. Tony had gone through (or rather he had someone else go through) and assigned the team seats. You already had an idea of where this was going, and your suspicion was confirmed when you found your seat right next to Natasha. 
You looked over at Tony. He winked at you, and you were tempted to leave. Instead, you sat down in your seat and set your expensive wine down on the table. You could do this. She hadn’t approached you yet this entire evening. The feeling of not wanting to interact with each other was mutual. You both could talk to other people. This was fine. 
The smell of her perfume hit you first. It grabbed hold of you and yanked you back through countless memories. You remembered the smell of jasmine with the barest hint of vanilla flooding your senses when she pulled you in for that first kiss. You remembered how your legs turned to jelly, and you were terrified that you were going to fall. You didn’t fall. Somehow, you stayed on your feet until the kiss was over. Your mind had gone blank. You had felt painfully dumb. What were you supposed to do? 
She smiled as her hands settled at your waist. “Aren’t you going to kiss me back?” 
You looked to your left as she sat down in her seat. She looked gorgeous and happy. As if nothing life altering had happened. You felt a spike of jealousy. She probably had forgotten all about you by now. Breaking off your relationship hadn’t changed anything for her. You had been right to doubt your relationship all along. You had only been a convenient fuck. You were so stupid to believe all those promises she made you. She certainly couldn’t keep many of them. 
You looked away and took a good, long drink of whatever Tony had poured into your glass. A wait staff appeared and set plates filled with delicious smelling food down in front of everyone. You set your now empty glass down, and another waiter appeared to refill it. You picked up your knife and fork and began cutting into the meat. You could do this. You should just pretend she isn’t here. Rogers was sitting to your right. You could always just make conversation with him. 
“Is this what we’re doing now?” her voice was low enough for only you to catch. 
You forced yourself to keep your focus on your plate as you continued to cut into the meat. Red juices leaked from what was probably a delicious cut of meat. “Yup.” You stabbed your fork into the tender meat and pushed it into your mouth. You chewed. Fuck. It was good. You heard her sigh, and you didn’t need to look at her to know she was also, most likely, shaking her head. 
“It’s a bad move,” she said. 
You bit back the first thought that came to mind and continued to eat. 
“This is obviously a setup. They’re trying to fix things,” she continued when you didn’t respond. 
You looked around at the table as you chewed. Everyone else was busy talking amongst themselves. You swallowed and still refused to look at her. “There’s nothing to fix.” She didn’t respond right away and you reached for your glass. Maybe this was all about to end. 
“Then I suggest we play along unless you want to go through this again,” she said. 
You set your glass down before you could take a sip and finally looked over at her. “I’m not going to play along.” You spotted the familiar look of frustration cross her face. It didn’t surprise you. Whenever you refused to go along with any of her plans, she got annoyed with you. You should have known from the very beginning that this relationship was never going to work. You felt stupid for even trying. 
“Fine. I guess I’ll see you at the next dinner party,” Natasha looked away from you.
“Don’t hold your breath,” you stabbed your fork into another piece of meat. “I’m pretty sure I’ll be too busy to attend the next one.” 
“Didn’t you already try that excuse?” she asked. 
You shoveled the piece of meat into your mouth and chewed. You didn’t bother to ask how she knew that. It was Natasha. She knew everything about you. You hated it. You hated that she was right. You hated sitting here so close to her. Every minute that passed was just more reminders of what had made you happy. It was gone, and you just wanted it all to stay dead. Why hadn’t Natasha shown up with the date? Why didn't you? You could think of a dozen ways you could have approached this whole stupid thing differently.  
“Y/N,” her voice was softer now and you felt a burning behind your eyes. 
“I can’t do this,” you heard the waver in your voice. You shouldn’t have come. You knew what would happen. You knew you would see her. You knew you would feel all these things. You weren’t sure if you couldn’t hear the other conversations happening around the table because people had stopped talking or because your quickening heart beat was now filling your ears. “I can’t.” 
You felt her hand fall over your own, and you quickly snatched your hand back and stood up. You felt the rest of the team’s eyes on you as you quickly left. You heard their voices all rise up as one, but you didn’t look back. You just needed to leave. Get some fresh air. Go back to the Compound and forget about all of this. 
Your pace quickened as you left the team behind and hurried towards the elevator. You were grateful that the doors parted immediately upon pushing the button. You stepped inside and pressed the button that would take you down to the garage. Your vision blurred and you felt a hot tear spill down your cheek. You quickly wiped it away. Stupid. This had been stupid. The doors started to close and just when you thought your escape was complete, Natasha slipped into the elevator. 
The doors shut completely and you shook your head. “No.” Your hand reached out towards the panel of buttons. You went to push the button that would force the elevator doors back open, but Natasha grabbed your hand before you could. “Let go, Nat. I’m not going back to that stupid party.” 
“That’s not why I’m here,” she said and released your hand the moment the elevator began to descend. 
Your hand dropped back down to your side. “Then why are you here?” You realized that was the wrong question to ask as her red lips parted to answer. You shook your head. “No! No. I don’t want to know. Just leave me alone.” 
She took a small step closer to you, and you instinctively stepped back and felt your back pressed against the cool wall of the elevator. “You’re not even going to give me a chance?” 
“A chance to do what? Lure me back to your side with more fake promises of some happy life together? You can’t use that bullshit on me anymore. I was just a convenient fuck for you,” you felt another tear slip, and you used the back of your hand to wipe it away. 
“You broke up with me,” she argued. 
“Because you pushed me away,” your voice wavered again, and you hated it. “Every time I tried to help or understand, you kept me out. The only time you let me in was when you wanted to fuck me. The only time you wanted me around was if you wanted to have sex with me. I wasn’t your girlfriend. I was your toy.” 
“I know.”
You were ready for anything. You had replayed all your arguments in your head hundreds of times. You were ready for any of her arguments. Except for that. Those two words caught you completely off guard. 
“I messed up,” she said. “And I’m sorry.”
What was happening? This wasn’t how things were supposed to go. You were supposed to argue back and forth until you were both spent and upset and eager to get away from each other. 
“Please let me try again.”
She had somehow managed to get even closer to you. Her voice was soft, and her olive green eyes were searching your face. She was trying to gauge your emotions. You could only wonder what she saw because you didn’t know how to feel. Tears still threatened to spill down your cheeks from all the pain you had been shoving down these past few weeks. Walking away from her had hurt so much. Because you did love her, and it had killed you to realize that she didn’t love you. 
You wanted to leap at this chance. You wanted it so badly, but you were hesitant. You had barely been able to walk away from her last time. You weren’t sure you would be able to do it again if all of this happened again. But you wanted to believe it wouldn’t. You wanted to believe that there was still some life in this dying husk of a relationship. 
You didn’t realize what had happened until her lips were pressed against yours. It felt like your first kiss all over again, only better. It felt familiar. The kiss was soft but needy. It reminded you of all the other ways she had kissed you before. The smell of her perfume flooded your senses, and you just wanted to collapse into her arms. You were tired of being angry. Tired of being upset. You wanted this. The kiss ended far too soon, and you started to lean forward to chase her retreating lips. 
You saw her smile when the elevator reached the garage floor, and the doors opened. You didn’t make any move to leave. Instead, you waited for the elevator doors to close before you leaned forward to kiss her back. 
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yourmcu · 7 months
Text
okay besties everyone put in their tags what theyre majoring or what they majored in im so curious
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yourmcu · 8 months
Text
STOP THIS IS SO CUTE
Widow’s Charm
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Pairing: Natasha Romanoff x fem!reader
Summary: Natasha finds herself falling for Tony’s new lab assistant and weapons technician.
Warnings: fluff
Words: 3322
Natasha walks down the hallway towards Tony’s lab, holding her widow bite gauntlets in her hand. Typically, she would have just sent them down to be repaired, but an unexpected mission came up which means she needs them fixed sooner rather than later. Reaching the entrance of the lab, the doors slide open for her as she enters.
“Hey Tony, can you fix–,” Natasha stops when she notices someone else working in the lab.
You look up from your work table at the new voice in the room and see the Black Widow staring at you curiously. You have been working at the Avenger’s Compound as the new weapons technician as well as Tony’s lab assistant for the past few months. 
Since then, you’ve met all of the other Avengers already except for the mysterious Black Widow, though you have repaired some of her equipment that she had sent down previously. 
Tony tells you that she prefers to keep to herself, which you can understand. You settled with the fact that you may never meet her in person, so it is a small shock to see her standing in front of you.
Putting down your tools, you wipe your hands on your apron and walk over to her. Extending your hand to her, you give her a polite smile as you introduce yourself.
“Hello, my name is Y/n L/n. I’m the new weapons technician and Mr. Stark’s assistant in the lab. How can I help, Ms. Romanoff?” 
A small surprised smile forms on Natasha’s face at your words. Intrigued to learn more about you, she raises her hand to yours in greeting.
“Hi, you can just call me Nata–.” 
“No, no, no!” A voice yells from down the halls outside of the lab.
Tony comes rushing into the lab, breathing heavily. Looking around frantically, his eyes widen at the two of you. He rushes over to you quickly, grabbing you by the shoulders, and pushing you away from Natasha and out into the hallway. 
“I need you to go get the thing from Pepper.” He tells you.
“What thing?” you ask in confusion as you turn back around to him.
He gives you a brief wave before pressing the button on the side, shutting the lab doors in your face. For a moment, Tony remains standing by the door, tensed as he purposely avoid looking at Natasha. Then, in the next second, his entire body suddenly relaxes, and he moves casually over to his workstation. 
“FRIDAY, what’s the plan for today?” Tony asks.
“The parts for the new repulsors arrived today, sir,” the AI voice replies.
“Great, get those plans pulled up for me, will you?”
Natasha blinks at the lab doors as she tries to process what just happened. She turns to Tony, looking for an explanation.
“What the hell was that Tony?” she exclaims.
Tony looks at her with his eyebrows raised. “What was what?”
“You just suddenly pushed Y/n out of the room.”
Tony's mouth presses into a tight line as he gives her a confused look. “Never heard of her. Was there somebody here FRIDAY?”
“No, sir.” 
Tony nods back at her with a satisfied look.
Crossing her arms, Natasha was about to argue when the lab doors opened up again. 
Pepper walks into the room towards Tony. “Y/n said you told her to get a ‘thing’ from me?”
Tony lets out a groan as he hangs his head. Sighing, he gestures to Natasha.
“Y/n met Natasha.” 
Pepper lets out an exasperated sigh. “Really, Tony? We talked about this. You can’t place all the blame on her.”
Natasha raises her hands to get their attention. “Can somebody please explain to me what’s going on?”
Pepper turns to her, a small apologetic look on her face. “Tony thinks you are the reason why his assistants keep quitting.”
Natasha frowns at the accusation. “How is that my fault?”
Tony scoffs in disbelief. “FRIDAY, pull up the timeline.” 
A holographic screen pops up between them showing the past year with certain dates highlighted. Tony points to one of the earliest dates in the year. 
“Avery Grayson. She met you on her second day on the job. A week later she asks you out but you decline. She turns in her resignation the following week.”
Natasha raises her eyebrows at the information. “That doesn’t prove—“ 
Tony interrupts her. “Quinn Turner. She confesses to you a month after your first interaction. Gets turned down too and then quits three days later.”
Tony brings up the two most recent dates. “Same thing with Riley and Harper. It’s a pattern. They meet you, fall for you, get rejected, and then quit.”
Natasha looks over at Pepper, silently asking if he was serious. In response, Pepper gives her a resigned nod as she rubs her head tiredly.
Tony gets her attention when he points at her accusingly. “Do you know how hard it is to find competent people who know how to handle this level of equipment?”
Natasha lets out a huff of disbelief, crossing her arms. She remembers his previous assistants. To be honest, most of her interactions with them were completely professional. She didn’t get close to any of them personally or showed any romantic interest, which made each of the confessions surprising to her. 
Still, this doesn’t explain what he was trying to do with you. She raises her eyebrow at him.
“So your plan was to what? Hide your new assistant from me forever?”
“Not forever. Just until I can find someone for her so that she doesn’t fall for you.”
Natasha rolls her eyes at his ridiculousness. Focusing back on her original intention, she places her widow bite gauntlets on the work table.
“Can you just fix these for me? I have a mission in a few hours.”
“Fine, but you stay away from my assistant.” He warns.
Natasha heads toward the exit and waves her hand, dismissing his words. It’s not like she intends to make you fall for her, but she has to admit that she is interested to learn more about you. 
———
You look up from your sketches at the sound of the lab door opening and see the Black Widow stroll into the room. You give her a smile in greeting.
“Welcome back, Ms. Romanoff. Are you looking for Mr. Stark?”
She walks over to your workspace, leaning slightly against the table as she looks at you.
“Actually, I was coming to see you, and you can just call me Natasha. We got interrupted the last time we met.”
Nodding your head, you laugh softly at the memory.
“Pepper explained to me what that was about.” You give her a teasing suspicious look. “So are you here to make me fall for you?”
Natasha gives you an amused smile. Most people don’t usually get comfortable around her so quickly. 
“Only if you want to.” She says it nonchalantly.
You chuckle at her response. “Unfortunately, you won’t be hearing a confession from me soon. I like my job here.” 
Natasha feels a tinge of disappointment at your words, her smile dropping slightly. You don’t notice though since your attention had drifted to the widow bite gauntlets on her wrists.
“Speaking of, did you want me to take a look at that?” You can see that there was some damage from a fight probably during her recent mission.
Glancing down, Natasha shrugs. “I can do it later myself.”
“Well, that explains why I don’t see your stuff across my desk that often.” You raise your hand out to her anyway.
She stares at you curiously before slowly placing her hand in yours.
You let out a small laugh at her action. “This is nice, but I actually want the gauntlets.” You hold her hand gently in yours before turning it around to reach the clasp on the weapon.
Natasha tilts her head as she observes you. You were focused but gentle as you worked, and you didn’t show any signs that you were intimidated by who she was. In fact, you were pretty cute as you scrunch your face in concentration. She decides to tease you a little.
“You know, I don’t usually let people take things off my body until at least the second date.”
You remove the second gauntlet from her other wrist with a start before you see the teasing smirk on her face. You let out a small huff before refocusing your attention on your table. “I see what Mr. Stark means when he said you were charming.”
Natasha raises an eyebrow. “Oh? And what else did he tell you about me?”
“That you didn’t like meeting new people, though now I think that may have been a lie.”
Natasha shrugs before leaning in a little closer to you. “It’s sort of true. I just prefer to meet people that I’m interested in.”
You turn away from her to hide the smile on your face, pretending to look for some tools. 
The lab doors slide open as Tony walks in while reading the tablet in his hand. Looking up, he sighs sadly when he sees Natasha next to you. “Did she get to you already?”
You give him a reassuring look. “No confessions from me. Natasha just needed some things fixed.”
Tony stares at the two of you doubtfully before pointing to Natasha. “Don’t you have reports to do or something?”
Rolling her eyes, Natasha stands to leave. She turns to you with a soft smile. “I’ll come visit more often now that I know you exist.”
You bite your lips to hide your smile as you watch her leave. 
As Natasha exits the lab, she hears Tony’s voice call out.
“FRIDAY, can you restrict her access to the lab?”
“I’m afraid Ms. Potts has already denied that request, sir.”
Natasha smirks at the AI response. She should get something for Pepper later as thanks.
———
As she said, over the following weeks, Natasha visits you often in the lab. Sometimes with some equipment that needed to be fixed. Other times just to talk. Later, when she finds out that you usually eat your lunch in the lab, she would also join you if she had the time. 
You look up when you hear the doors open, already knowing who to expect. Natasha walks in, waving the take-out bag in her hands.
You groan in relief at the sight of her. “You are a lifesaver.” 
You stand and grab the food from her eagerly before moving it to an area where the two of you can eat.
Natasha sits on the edge of your work table as she watches you set out the food. “Well, I know how you get absorbed into your work and forget to eat.” She tells you knowingly.
Her eyes glance at the papers on your desk that you were previously working on. Most of them had rough sketches of designs for some of the equipment of the other Avengers. Her name on one paper catches her attention. Picking it up, Natasha examines the details curiously. 
At the sudden silence, you glance up at her. You do a double take when you realize what she was looking at. Over time, as you worked on her equipment, you’ve noticed that her current suit’s belt doesn’t hold much ammo or gadgets, so you had sketched some ideas that you had for her.
“That’s just some ideas of some upgrades that I had. It’s not really anything worth looking at.” 
Natasha shakes her head in disagreement before handing the paper back to you. “I like it. I’m sure Tony will get you the parts that you would need if you want to work on it.”
“Really?” you ask her, astonished.
She nods at you reassuringly before pushing you back towards the food. “We can discuss it later, but first, let’s eat.”
A few weeks later, you completed your first prototype, and you were excited to show Natasha and test it out.
Natasha admires the new belt on the table. It was still slim and compact, but she can see where you had added extra slots for her weapons. You also included her signature red symbol on the buckle.
You were practically buzzing with excitement. “I just need to see if there needs to be any more adjustments with the sizing.”
Without thinking, you grab her hand to pull her closer to you. You move quickly as you remove her current belt. Taking the new belt, your hands wrap around her waist as you grab one end before bringing it to her front and snapping it into place. You fidget with the belt, checking for any snags or looseness, totally absorbed in your work. 
Natasha’s initial surprised expression melts into an amused and fond look on her face as she watches you. You were adorable when you concentrated on your work, and honestly, she’s not sure how much longer she can hold in her feelings for you.
After performing your final checks and detailing little changes that needed to be adjusted, you suddenly froze when you realized Natasha hadn’t said a word since you started. 
Your eyes widened, mortified when you see your current position. Your body had moved closer to Natasha’s when you were making adjustments. One of your hands was still placed atop the belt while the other was resting against her stomach, and you could feel her toned body underneath your hand. You swallow nervously as you look up at her.
She tilts her head at you as you continue to stare at her. “Everything okay?”
The closeness between your bodies was making it hard for you to think. Eventually, you were able to get your brain to function enough to respond.
“Yeah…all good.” You unconsciously lick your lips out of embarrassment.
You see Natasha's eyes flick down to your mouth at the action, and you feel your face heat up even more. You should definitely step away from her now. As you go to move, Natasha’s next words causes you to stop in surprise.
“Would you like to go out with me?”
Your eyes widen at her question, and you see a hopeful expression on her face as she waits for your response. Instinctively, you want to say ‘yes’ and close the distance between you two, but you stop yourself, hesistating. 
Natasha sees the conflicting feelings on your face, so she decides to ease the pressure a little with some teasing. 
“You know, according to Tony’s theory, since I’m the one who confessed, a rejection would mean that I would need to quit my job.”
You can't help but laugh at her reasoning before giving her a playful smile, teasing back.  “Well, we can’t have the Black Widow quitting over a failed confession.”
Natasha places her hands on your waist, pulling you in closer. She tilts her head at you in question. “I haven’t failed yet. Technically, you never gave me an answer.”
You move your arms to wrap around the back of her neck as you pretend to think about your decision. “So I still get to keep my job?”
Natasha nods reassuringly. “For however long you can stand working with Tony’s ego.”
You give her a fond smile. “Then yes, I would love to go out with you.”
———
Tony was throwing you a party to celebrate your first anniversary since working with the Avengers and him, even though you insisted that it wasn’t necessary. He disagrees, saying how nobody has lasted this long, so you relented.
Naturally, you went with Natasha as your date since you have been dating her for several months already. The only problem is that you forgot to update Tony about your new relationship.
When the two of you enter the party, Natasha leans down and whispers next to your ear. “I’ll go get us something to drink.” With a light touch against your back, she walks away toward the bar. 
You are lost in your thoughts as you admire her walk away, so you are startled when Tony slides in front of you, excitement in his eyes.
“Y/n! Good, I found you.”
You smile at him, used to his frantic energy by now. “Hello, Mr. Stark, was there something that you needed?”
He waves his hand dismissively at you.
“This party is for you, and you’ve been working with me for a year now. I’ve told you to just call me Tony.” 
You give him an apologetic look before asking him curiously. “You said you were looking for me?”
Tony claps his hands at the reminder.
“Yes, I want you to meet someone. She’s a nice person, has a great personality, and she works as a pilot.”
You raise your hand to try and stop him. “I already have some—“
“Oh, here she is!”
You give him a tight smile as the woman approaches the two of you. Tony pats you on the back in encouragement, turning to leave.
“Alright, I’ll leave the two of you alone.”
“Wait, Tony—,“ you try to stop him, but he rushes away. Turning back to the woman, you give her a polite smile as she introduces herself.
Meanwhile, Natasha was standing at the bar, waiting for your drinks.
“I am the greatest boss ever,” Tony exclaims, sliding in next to her.
Natasha rolls her eyes at his words. Deciding to indulge him while she waits, she asks him to explain. “How’s that?”
“I just found the perfect date for our favorite weapons techie.”
Natasha frowns when she realizes what he said. Turning around to look at where she left you, she sees that you were currently talking with a beautiful woman. 
Her posture relaxes when she reads your body language. You had a polite smile on your face as you listened to the woman, but she could see how tense your body was, and your hand at your side kept fidgeting with your dress. 
“Now I don’t have to worry about her falling for you.” Tony says smugly.
“No, we wouldn’t want that,” Natasha smirks as she turns back around to grab the drinks that the bartender just placed in front of her. 
Tony notices the two drinks in her hands and raises his eyebrows at her. “You have a date?”
“Girlfriend.” Without explaining further, she heads back toward you. By the time Natasha reaches you, the other woman was already turning to leave, nodding at Natasha in acknowledgment. 
You let out a breath of relief as Natasha comes back to your side. Thankfully, the woman was understanding when you explained the situation to her. 
Natasha hands you your drink as she returns her hand around your waist, pulling you against her. She sighs in disappointment as she watches the woman leave. “Here I thought I had the chance to be a hero and save you.”
You give her a teasing smile. “Maybe next time.” 
Natasha presses a soft kiss to your lips in response before pulling away.
You tilt your head curiously at her. “What was that for?”
Natasha gives you an affectionate look. “First, because I love you.” 
Her expression shifts into a smirk. “Second, is Tony freaking out?”
You look over her shoulders at the bar and see Tony gaping at the two of you, pointing accusingly at Natasha while Pepper holds him back from rushing over.
You turn back to her, giving her an amused look. “He’s going to lock you out again.”
Natasha just shrugs, unbothered. “He can’t keep me away from you.” She raises her eyebrows suggestively at you. “He also can’t stop you from visiting me in my room during your breaks.”
You push her lightly before bringing her face close for a kiss.
When you accepted this job, you never thought you would end up in a relationship with the Black Widow. Then again you never imagine that she would end up falling for you.
4K notes · View notes
yourmcu · 8 months
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A Nellie Nelson snuggle would cure my depression clear my skin and water my crops
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yourmcu · 11 months
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fucking hell i’m crying i’m so invested in this
A Love Lost
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Chasing Shadows AU
Summary: From a young age you could see the ghost of those died and you’ve used your gift to help those around you. But when you and the Avengers bring back those who were Blipped, you wished you didn’t have your gift as Natasha didn’t return from Vomir. 
Warning: major character deaths, grief, angst, small mention of kidnapping in the beginning. 
Word Count: 3.1K
“She’s here,” Clint said, sitting down next to you. “Isn’t she?” You haven’t spoken since Thanos was killed and the ashes of the compound settled. You gave the archer a small nod. She was here, standing in the corner, wearing the tactical suit she wore the last time you saw her. “Has she said anything?” You shrugged. That was new when you saw the ghost of the dead you could hear, and speak to them but Natasha was silent. Her mouth moved but her words weren’t reaching you. Clint sighed. “What do you need?” You looked over his shoulder to the woman you loved. 
“For her to leave,” you said. But she didn’t. She stayed. 
Keep reading
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yourmcu · 1 year
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absolute favorite. maybe i’ll relate to this soon? lmao, anyway, thank you for this <3
i hate men (natasha romanoff x female reader)
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the gif is not mine!
summary: so… being hopelessly in love with your best friend and getting super drunk is not the best combination? who would’ve thought? (a bit of angst but mostly fluff)
a/n: send me natasha requests if you want to!!!!!! you can send me normal requests, or you can also send me a taylor swift song and i’ll write a natasha fic with it!
\\\\
you hated stark parties. they were loud, messy, annoying and did you mention loud?
being an introvert was a difficult task at the avengers compound, where these sort of events were being held every two weeks.
sighing, you gulp down the last of your drink. today you chose a coke, since you didn’t want to get drunk and embarrass yourself like the others always did.
“having fun?”
“no!” you say over enthusiastically. natasha snorts and shakes her head at you from behind the bar. she looks stunning, wearing a tight black dress that hugs her body perfectly and her red hair loose and wild. she never goes heavy on the make up, you noticed. not that she needs it, she’s breathtakingly beautiful without it.
“you should at least dance to one song, maybe you’ll even enjoy it.” she says, pulling you out of your not so friendly thoughts of her.
“i refuse.”
“don’t act like a petulant child.”
“don’t act like my mother.” natasha smirks. god that smirk. “if you call yourself mommy, i’m leaving.” the redhead shrugs.
“you handed it to me on a silver platter.”
“whatever.” you roll your eyes.
“i’ll have a manhattan, please.” a man slides up next to you on a barstool. natasha nods and begins preparing his drink. you don’t fail to notice the man’s lascivious look as he stares at her. it makes your blood boil. you know she hates when men sexualize her. and, truth be told, you hate it too. maybe not always for the right reasons, but most of the time they are. natasha romanoff is the best person in the entire world. she is also your favorite person in the entire world. she’s super smart, she’s so funny you almost peed yourself an embarrassing amount of times in front of her, she’s brave, she’s so goddamn brave you sometimes wish she wasn’t so she wouldn’t put herself at risk. but that’s the thing about natasha, she does that because she cares. she cares so much about everyone, and contrary to what people would think, it’s not because she feels guilty for her past, but because she’s good. her heart is so good, so kind. and she’s strong, the strongest. you know what she went through and still, she remained good. that takes a hell of a lot strength. and yes, she’s hot. she’s so fucking hot sometimes you can’t believe she’s even real. but she’s so much more than that. she’s your best friend, and the woman that you-
“thanks, gorgeous.” the man’s voice brings you back to reality and you look at him, hoping you’re shooting lasers out of your eyes and burning him. natasha simply nods and looks at you from the corner of her eye. you know what that look means, you know what every look means. if he tries something, i’m gonna shoot him.
you purse your lips to stop yourself from laughing loudly, your anger long forgotten when she enters your line of sight.
the man clears his throat, trying to gain her attention.
“so, you from around here?”
“no.” she tells him. then, she gives him a fake smile. “if you don’t mind, i’m pretty busy.” he does not seem to take the hint, so you turn to him.
“she’s asking you to leave.”
“and who are you?”
“one of tony stark’s closest friends. you wouldn’t want to be black listed for his parties for eternity, would you?” the man widens his eyes a bit. “yeah, i thought so. now, leave.” you shoo him away with a gesture of your hand, almost dismissively and he, thank every god that exists, gets up and leaves.
“my knight in shining armor.” natasha tells you, smirking. “you saved me.” you wish she was right. you wish you had done it to save her instead of yourself. but, to be frank, you didn’t. of course you don’t want her to feel uncomfortable, but you know she can handle herself just fine. the one who couldn’t stand it was you. you are an idiot. an idiot who’s hopelessly in love with her best friend.
“sorry, i know you can defend yourself. i just-“
“you just what?” she raises an eyebrow. you know that expression. it means she’s challenging you to tell her.
“i just hate men.” for a second, she looks almost disappointed. but you probably imagined that.
“yeah.” she nods. “i’m gonna head to the ladies room.” and then she leaves.
you sigh and run your hands over your face. natasha romanoff is going to be the death of you. but oh, what a sweet death.
“when are you gonna tell her?” sam’s voice makes you lift your head up.
“tell who what?”
“tell natasha that you love her.”
“i’ve already told her that a million times.”
“no.” he shakes his head. “that you love her love her, that you wanna kiss her.” you scoff.
“never. oh and also, could you keep it quiet? what if she hears you?”
“then finally you will both admit that you’re in love with one another and stop giving each other longing glances across every single room you’re in.”
“i don’t give her longing glances.” you lie. of course you do.
“uh-huh.”
“whatever samantha. don’t care, didn’t ask. plus i don’t even know if she likes girls.”
“she likes you.”
“as a friend.”
“you are so goddamn stubborn…” he begins saying, but his voice fades into the background when you see her. your breathing stops. she’s dancing. she’s swaying her hips and smiling and she looks so fucking angelic you want to pinch yourself because, surely, this must be a dream. but then, your heart drops to your stomach. he’s touching her. he has his fucking hands on her hips as he dances behind her and she isn’t pushing him away. you feel sick to your stomach. “hey, you there?” sam waves his hand in front of you. “hey…?” he trails off. then he probably follows your line of sight because he ohs in understanding. he says your name and pity drips from it. “they’re just dancing.”
“yeah.” you say, choked up. you hate that seeing her with someone else makes your heart burn from the pain. but it does, and it hurts so much. it was the first time since you admitted to yourself that you were in love with her that you saw her with another person. a man. stupid men and their stupid hands. tears well up in your eyes, but you won’t cry. you refuse to cry. not for love. never.
“what are you doing?” sam asks you as you walk all the way around the bar and crouch under it. “don’t.” he tells you when he sees what’s in your hands. you look at him dead in the eye and gulp down the whiskey straight from the bottle.
\\\\
“woo! this is so fun!” you shout over the music. you’ve been dancing for almost an hour now and you were most definitely drunk. you don’t even notice sam and natasha calling your name.
“what are you doing? you hate drinking.” the redhead frowns.
“maybe it’s time for someone to go to bed.”
“yes, nat. go to bed.” you tell her.
“no, whiskey straight out of the bottle, i’m talking about you.” you laugh at sam’s long nickname but then you pout when you sway and almost fall to the floor. “you wanna take care of it?” he asks the spy and she nods.
“i’ll take her to bed.”
“and what will we do there?” you ask suggestively. natasha looks at you unimpressed.
“you, lay down. me, scold you.”
“are you gonna spank me?” you smirk. she swallows hard. uh oh, she’s mad. you raise your hands innocently in front of you and she rolls her eyes.
“let’s go.” you want to protest but you know better than that. begrudgingly you begin following her, but stop when the room starts to spin. natasha must notice it, because she turns around and puts her arm around your waist and your arm around her shoulders.
the walk to your room is silent, except for your giggles. you don’t really know what you’re giggling about, but she’s here so it makes sense to do so.
she helps you lay down on your bed and takes off your shoes. as she does so, you look at her. god, you love her so much. and god, you are doomed for life.
“you’re never gonna love me.” you blurt out. she looks at you and frowns.
“what?”
“you’re never gonna love me.” you tell her again, pouting. she waits until she’s tucked you in the bed to answer.
“of course i love you.”
“no.” you frown. “you don’t.”
“what are you talking about?”
“i’m so drunk.” you say out of the blue.
“come on, on your side.” you do as she says and position yourself on your side, so you don’t drown in your own vomit and die.
“you don’t want me to die.” you slur, almost asleep now.
“of course i don’t want you to die!” you open your eyes and look at her. she’s kneeling next to you on the bed and sorting out some pills for tomorrow morning. you’re most likely going to need them. she then puts them on your nightstand next to your water bottle.
“but you don’t love me.” you say again. she looks at you, frowning. you stare at her. her green eyes, so kind. her cheeks, you want to squeeze them between your fingers and call her cute. her eyebrows, so perfect. and her lips, god, her lips. they look so soft. you bet they’re warm to the touch. so kissable.
“you’re so beautiful, natty.”
she looks taken aback by that, but she quickly recovers and smiles softly.
“don’t try to sweet talk me into not being mad at you.”
“i’m not!” you protest. “you can be mad at me but you’re still the prettiest girl in the world.”
“you’re drunk.”
“and you’re beautiful.”
she says your name softly with a smile on her face.
“get some rest, detka.” her hand is softly combing through your hair.
“i love it when you call me detka. did i pronounce that right? probably not.” you mumble. she chuckles.
“you pronounced it right.”
“nat…” you say.
“what?”
“i love you.”
“i love you too.”
“no.” you pout. “don’t lie. it’s not nice.” she stops caressing your hair and frowns.
“what is it with you today? of course i love you.”
“no, nat. i love you love you.”
“i love you love you too.” she tells you.
“i love like i wanna kiss you love you not you’re my best friend love you.” she blinks at you. for a bit she doesn’t say anything. then she briefly shakes her head and sighs.
“you’re drunk. you should get some rest.” your heart breaks. she doesn’t love you like that. you should’ve known. now you’ve ruined everything. tears begin welling up in your eyes and it isn’t long before you’re crying.
“hey, hey- don’t cry.” she tells you as she wipes your tears with her thumb.
“i told you you didn’t love me.” she says your name again and takes a deep breath.
“you’re not gonna remember this but- if you do, we’ll talk in the morning.”
and then she leaves. tonight you are crying yourself to sleep.
\\\\
you open your eyes and stretch your limbs. then, you sit up and immediately groan. the most violent headache is currently splitting your mind into two. what possessed you to drink so fucking much? oh, natasha romanoff and her stupid beautiful self. and seeing her with another man, that definitely didn’t help.
you tsk and roll your eyes.
what even happened last night after you got hammered? how did you even get up to your room? did sam bring you here? did nat? no, she was too busy with someone else.
a knock on your door pulls you out of your thoughts and you tell the person to come in, and even though it comes out more as a mumble, they seem to understand, because the door opens. there, standing in all her glory, is natasha romanoff herself, accompanied by a small brown bag and a coffee, you notice after a bit.
“hey.” she greets you from the doorway.
“hi.”
“i brought you breakfast. figured you might wanna eat before taking an aspirin.”
“thank you.” you tell her and she nods awkwardly. then, she approaches you and sits down on the bed in front of you while your back is against the headboard. “did sam bring me here last night?”
“nope. i did.”
“oh… thanks natty.” she swallows and gives you a small smile that actually resembles more a wince than anything else. weird.
“so… did i do something embarrassing? please tell me i didn’t try to strip on top of a table or something.” she chuckles and shakes her head.
“you didn’t try to strip.”
“but did i do other embarrassing things?” she opens her mouth to speak but then, surprising you, she pauses and abruptly shakes her head. oh no. what did you do that is making her act so strange? you try to remember. you saw her dancing with that man and decided to get drunk. she says she was the one who brought you to your bedroom so something must’ve happened here. did you puke all over her or something? or even worse, did you admit your feelings? your eyes widen. oh no. oh no, oh no, oh no no no. that’s exactly what you did, you goddamn idiot! you remember now. you told her you loved her! you told her you wanted to kiss her! of course she’s being weird!
“nat-“
“you don’t have to say anything.” she cuts you off.
“i really wish that was the case cause i’m really fucking embarrassed but- i need to say something.”
“we all say dumb shit when we’re drunk.”
“i said the dumbest shit i could’ve ever said.” you deadpan. for a second you see a flash of hurt in her eyes, but it’s gone as soon as it appears. could it be that she- no, no, she didn’t feel that way about you.
“nat-“ she puts her hand up.
“don’t need to say anything, i’ll just forget it happened.”
“but nat-“ she says your name again, almost begging.
“please, just drop it. i get it, you didn’t mean what you said. it’s okay.” you open your mouth to say something but then you close it and frown. did she think you didn’t mean what you said? that’s why she wanted you to stop talking about it? because she wanted you to mean it?
“i-“ you look at her with wide eyes. this is it. you’re gonna tell her in the most beautiful, poetic way that you- “i hate men.” what? the redhead frowns. “i meant, i- ugh- i hate men but i especially hate them when they’re dancing with you.”
“what?” she asks now, seemingly confused.
“i saw you dancing with that guy last night. i got- ugh i’m so dumb- i got jealous. i got jealous cause i’m in love with you and… and i want to be the one who dances with you like that.” natasha does not say a word. you simply continue, because of course once you’ve started you can’t stop. “i’m so in love with you nat, i- you are literally my favorite person in the world. you are so smart and funny and kind and strong and- you can totally slap me and never talk to me again but if this is the last time we’re gonna speak i want you to know that- that i love you with my whole heart and i will always love you.” for the first time since you’ve met her, natasha romanoff is speechless. you don’t know if it’s because she’s desperately in love with you too or she’s simply thinking of different ways to kill you and get rid of your body. you really hope it’s the former. “um- could you- could you say something, please?” she blinks but still, nothing. god, you broke her. “nat- i’m sorry, i shouldn’t have-“ and she’s kissing you. natasha’s lips are on yours and you’re in heaven. or something above heaven because this is simply too perfect, too beautiful. she moves against you, softly, so softly, as if she’s afraid to hurt you. your arms are glued to your body and hers are too. almost as if you were scared to break the spell if you touched each other. the kiss is gentle, sweet, but it sends a shock through your body. you’ve never felt like that. kissing was simply not that interesting to you, but now you understand why people in romantic movies do it so often. natasha’s kiss is healing every broken bone inside your body, it’s like a cure, fixing, mending. but unfortunately, it ends all too soon. when she pulls away you let out a soft whine and she chuckles, almost making fun of you. you lay your forehead on hers and you both breathe in deeply. then, you open your eyes to find that she’s already looking at you.
“so, does this mean you love me too?”
“oh no, that was a platonic kiss.”
“natasha!” you whine and she shuts you up by placing another kiss on your lips.
“of course i love you detka. i’ve loved you for so long.”
“i wasn’t even sure if you liked girls.” you tell her as you lift your hand and caress her face.
“i wasn’t either but then…”
“then…” you raise your eyebrows.
“this beautiful girl showed up in my life and i couldn’t help but fall in love with her.” your heart takes a leap and you have to bite your lip to stop yourself from grinning like a maniac.
“what an amazing girl.” you tell her.
“the best.”
“i love you.” you kiss her again. “i’m so happy i think i’m gonna vomit rainbows.” natasha let’s out a laugh.
“don’t vomit on me or i’m kicking you ass.” you pout at her.
“you wouldn’t.” she looks at you, serious for a moment. then, she breaks into a smile.
“i wouldn’t.” you laugh breathily and purse your lips.
“i can’t believe i started this whole confession by saying i hate men.” the redhead laughs.
“i can’t believe you said that either.”
“hey!” her shoulders shake as she laughs. she looks so angelic when she’s happy. you sigh softly, dreamily. you might hate men, but you sure as hell don’t hate natasha romanoff.
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yourmcu · 1 year
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Scarlett Johansson as Natasha Romanoff/Black Widow Avengers: Endgame (2019) - Deleted Scene
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yourmcu · 1 year
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oh my god amazing
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guys it’s natasha’s 40th birthday wat da eff
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yourmcu · 1 year
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OKAY
someone on twitter just said it's gonna be nat's last birthday this december (she d words next year n we're basically canon in the mcu right) LIKE MY GOD THAT WAS SO UNCALLED FOR I'M EMOTIONAL AGAIN
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yourmcu · 2 years
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please, for the love of god, put fluff fics in the fluff tag and put smut fics in the smut tag.
it’s not rocket science. all i see in #natasha romanoff fluff is 18+ and i just want good fluff tonight :(
no hate, i’ve probably done something like that when i was still actively writing and i understand, but the fluff tag is loaded with smut. do people not write fluff as much anymore? /genq
tag added so this can get some sort of engagement.
this lowkey makes me want to write again
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yourmcu · 2 years
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oh this is great. i could totally see this as a series and i'd eat it up.
don’t fear the reaper
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pairing: wanda maximoff x reader
SPOILERS FOR MULTIVERSE OF MADNESS
synopsis: she took the gamble. what more could she lose?
word count: 0.6k
a/n: this is the product of 2am mom brainrot . . . what the actual fuck is this
════ ⋆★⋆ ════
She looked and saw the fear in her children’s eyes, cowering behind the rails as they yelled at her, “Witch! Witch!”
Her fingertips, black and rotten, shakily hovered in front of them, asking them to stop.
It wasn’t supposed to be this way. I did all of this for you. Please don’t be scared.
A force knocked her off her feet, and she landed with a thud on the ground. When she looked up it was you, standing with a protective arm extended in front of the version of her from this universe, the version of her that deserved to be happy.
Why does she get to be happy but I don’t? It’s not fair.
“Stay back.” You said firmly. “I don’t want to hurt you.”
“Please, Y/N.” She pleaded, her knees buckling underneath her. “P-Please, I did all of this for us.”
“There is no us here, witch.” You seethed. “You hurt my wife, and frightened my kids. I want you to leave.”
She remembered once when she said those exact same words to someone else, someone that threatened her family’s happiness. She had blasted them away from the bubble of reality she created, and now she was on the other side of it, threatening someone else’s happiness. Everyone else’s happiness, but never her own.
When will it ever be her turn? 
What is the purpose of this existence but a constant cycle of pain and suffering?
Her chest tightened and ached. She let the sobs take over, and crumpled upon herself on the floor. A hand touched her chin and lifted it. She saw her own sorrow reflected in the eyes of the other her, despite the cuts and bruises.
She was the monster parents warn their kids of at night, an unrelenting killer that won’t stop at anyone’s cost.
The Darkhold had corrupted her mind, already fragile as it was. She let herself be selfish for once, but it came to nothing. It wasn’t her life, it would never be hers to live. A million universes and none in which she could be happy, not unless she was Wanda Maximoff.
The Tower shook like a thousand earthquakes, and rocks began to break off the mountain and rain down on her. America Chavez had disappeared behind her portal, just as a boulder hurried down to block the entrance.
Wanda looked up and saw another boulder rushing down towards her.
“No.”
She closed her eyes.
“This is not how your story ends, Wanda Maximoff.”
The booming, low voice was all she could remember, then the faint image of a bald man with glowing white eyes.
Bright light blinded her when she opened her eyes again. It was quiet. She was in a room many floors above a big city, New York City.
She looked down. Her fingertips were healthy and light-colored, no more the black monstrosity she had had to live with. Her nails were even painted a pure white.
“Oh, there you are.”
She looked over her shoulder, and there you are, with a bright smile.
You approached her heartily and pecked her on the lips. “You ready, babe?”
“F-For what?”
“For the premiere.” You let out a short laugh. “Hello? Earth to Lizzie?”
Lizzie?
There was concern in your eyes, but she couldn’t help but let her eyes wander down towards the stunning attire you wore. Black really was your color. And on your left hand, the one holding hers tenderly, a beautiful diamond ring on your ring finger.
“Y-Yeah, of course.” She forced a smile, as you led her out of the hotel room.
“In this universe, Wanda Maximoff,” the voice returned, “you are not Wanda Maximoff.”
She furrowed her eyebrows as you led her into the back of a fancy car.
“Wanda Maximoff is merely fictitious, hence, as is your pain.”
And then she saw it. As the car stopped in front of a sea of people, seemingly waiting for her, in a big backdrop with bold graphics was a picture of her face, and Strange’s, and Wong’s and America’s. The title read ‘Doctor Strange In The Multiverse of Madness’.
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