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achaoticeternal · 4 years

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THIS IS ME TRYING

AVENGERS X READER (tony stark x daughter!reader, platonic peter parker x reader) masterlist // taglist

Request: @big-galaxy-chaos “Hey so I see that you also need requests as much as I do 😚 so here is mine! So it's Peter x stark!reader angst. Where Tony is afraid of becoming like his father but in reality, he is worst than him. He favors Peter more than her. Even though she is smarter than her own father, and won tons of awards and shit. Tony doesn't realize what he lost until the reader is gone. Btw the relationship between the reader and Peter is platonic! Also, everyone is oblivious to how she is feeling. Just pure angst”

Summary: Dads and daughters are supposed to have a beautiful relationship. But you could never be the song he always wanted. Word Count: 2.5K A/N: Based on the song this is me trying by Taylor Swift. Reader and Peter are both 18+; takes place after Thanos and Tony lives. Warnings: Heavy angst, cursing, self destructive behaviors, mentions death

“Mr. Stark, I’ve been working on the chemical formula of my webbing and I’m pretty sure that I’ve completely perfected it,” Peter talked while walking with your father to the lab.

“That’s great because I’ve been working on your web-shooters. Now, they can shoot up to 200 yards in length and the error rate of them getting jammed is less than one percent.”

Tony rested a hand on the boy’s shoulder as they left the room together. Neither of them acknowledges you on the couch, reading another novel involving quantum physics. But you’re used to the cold shoulder your father has given you since he first met Peter Parker. You’re used to the way he’s turned you away all your life, justifying his choice by saying he’s protecting you.

You knew that he feared to become his father. Pepper explained that to you when you were a child and you couldn’t leave your room until Tony’s lady of the night let. Or as you and Pepper called it at the time “taking out the trash”.

Maybe that was when you became more interested in the mathematics and science you found in the book and the workshop over good ole bonding time with dear old dad. If he wanted to neglect the time and opportunity to raise you, you would at least make sure to put his money and name to good use for your own personal benefit. And in the back of your mind, you knew that part of you was doing this to earn the attention and love you desired from your father.

Tony just saw it as taking an early interest in your future. So he didn’t stop you when you preferred to sit with tutors over playdates, draw out designs for engines and inventions instead of scribbling in coloring books, or even reading through scientific theories over watching Disney movies. He didn’t think it was strange, because that’s what he did at your age. Hell, by the time you were 10 you had won three first-place national science fair ribbons, third place in the national spelling bee, and began developing a prototype to turn the emissions from cars back into breathable oxygen.

Everyone noticed your brain, and how much you had achieved now at 18 years old. You held 2 Bachelor’s in Mechanical Engineering and Organic Chemistry from MIT and a Master’s in Astrophysics from Georgia Tech. And you were now planning out when you wanted to go to Law school and earn your doctorate. But you were living at the compound now, taking a gap year.

When you went away for school, you learned from others how normal life was for everyone else. You met kids who were the first in their family to go to college or were looking for opportunities outside of the small towns they came from. When you came home from your second semester at MIT, you told Tony about all this and he created the September Foundation in order to fund the projects and inventions those kids were creating. It was another punch in the gut to you, because you realized that you would never be enough for Tony.

If you were enough, he would have passed the mantle of Iron Man onto someone else after he almost lost you and Pepper to the Mandarin. If you were enough, he wouldn’t have enlisted Peter to help him in his fight against Captain America. If you were enough, he wouldn’t have gone into space for a final fight. If you were enough, Morgan wouldn’t be in the other room watching cartoons. And if Tony acknowledged you, just even a little but, maybe you wouldn’t be trying so hard to impress him and the world.

“Ms. Stark, your package has arrived. Shall I send it over to the labs?” F.R.I.D.A.Y echoed into the room.

“No, send it over to my personal workshop. In fact, send all of TS-2008 to my personal workshop.”

“Of course, miss.”

“Oh, and F.R.I.D.A.Y?”

“Yes, miss?”

“Please stop referring to me as ‘Ms. Stark’, (Y/N) is fine.”

“Alright, CASS, reboot the system diagnostics and run test C-24,” you yawned as you asked your personal AI system. The personal AI system you built for yourself, bu yourself - no help from Tony at all.

“Systems are checked out, shall I launch the test?”

“Go for it,” you groaned and took to Advil for your poundingheadachee. It was now two in the morning after another long night of coding, calibrating, testing, and perfecting the project you’ve been working on the past two years.

When you were younger, you tried to replicate the Iron Man suit, but your father quickly discovered the helmet and nearly perfected arc reactor you’d created in his lab. He trashed all of it and told you never to attempt to create the suit again. He said you were better than that, that you had more potential than pretending to be a superhero. You realized as you grew older that he didn’t care if you were trying to become a hero or not; but that you were copying his work. His precious Iron Man that he took months to perfect only took a week for his child to solve.

Dear old dad couldn’t let you have things the easy way. So instead after SHIELD fell and Tony began working to finish wiping out HYDRA, you began working on your own original model suit. Now it was almost ready to showcase to the world.

“Test C-24:successful. Shall I continue to run diagnostics to watch the processing and reaction time of TS-2008?”

“Yes, CASS. Run virtual simulations L-29, O-400, and T-38. Let me know when the trials have finished running and whether or not they were successful or not.”

“Yes, Ms. (Y/N),”

You pushed away from your desk and left your workshop. Before you knew it, you were in the kitchen pouring yourself another cup of coffee. You had been through 3 pots already tonight and no one noticed. Guess that was the nice thing about being Tony’s kid. Everyone else acknowledge your accomplishments and paid no mind to your destructive tendencies. In fact, maybe you’d celebrate tonight and snag a bottle of champagne from the extravagant wine fridge next to the dishwasher. You’d done it plenty of nights before when you wanted to drown out and numb the pain in your heart.

“(Y/N)? Why are you awake? And why are you holding a bottle of champagne?”

Ah, Peter... of course he would be spending the weekend at the compound. It’s not likely he has a perfectly good and happy home back in Queens with a guardian who loves him very much and would give the world to him. Guess that’s something May and your Father.

“Hello, Perfect Parker”

“You know I’ve never understood why you call me that, it doesn’t make sense.”

“Of course it doesn’t make sense from your end of the looking glass.Why are you up?” You tried so hard not scowl or be too rude. Peter had tattled to TOny before about you having a ‘bad attitude’ towards him.

“I believe I asked you that first.”

“That you did, but if you want an answer out of me, you’ll have to answer first.”

“I couldn’t sleep. thought I would get myself a glass of water. You?”

“I’m getting wasted, just like all my potential,” You faked a smile and started peeling the gold wrapping off of the cork of the bottle.

“Don’t say that, everyone knows how talented and brilliant you are,” He sighed while grabbing himself a glass and walking over to the fridge, “You’re a Stark”

“Tell that to Dad, because you’ll always be more of a Stark than I’ll ever be,” You huffed as you pulled a corkscrew out of a drawer near you.

“That doesn’t make any sense, (Y/N), are you sure you haven’t been drinking already? Because you sound delirious. Maybe you should spend some time outside of your bedroom, maybe even get out of the compound. When was the last time you left to go somewhere?”

“Thanks for the concern Parker, but I’ve been able to hold my own for at least fifteen years now. And I know I don’t leave here a lot because I don’t have the opportunity too. If there’s a private event, either Pepper attends with Tony or Spider-man makes an appearance with Iron Man. I’m just surprised that there aren’t rumors across the media wondering ‘Is Spider-Man the lost of the Iron Man, Tony Stark?” You waved your hand in the air to match the dramatic tone.

“Haha, you’re so funny,” He took a sip out of your water, “People know you exist”

“Yeah, maybe if they do a quick Google shirt. But I’m not offended, I know that I just live in your shadow. But I’m used to it,” Your poured the alcohol into a glass and began to sip from it, relief flooding through you.

“Okay , I get it. You’re just in another one of your dramatic moods, maybe you should just go to bed before you say or do something stupid,” he took a step towards you.

“Don’t I always?”

“Always what?”

“Say or do something stupid?”

He halted and shook his head, “That’s not what I meant, (Y/N), I-”

“No, that’s exactly what you meant, Parker,” You brushed past him and stormed into the living room, “You don’t understand how lucky you are.”

He came stomping after you, “Oh, so you’re feeling brave, huh? Well you just sound like an idiot. I’m not just some lucky kid! I’ve lost my parents, my Uncle was killed in front of my face, and I disappeared from existence! The only people who care for me are Aunt May and Tony.”

You turned to face him, face completely red, tears threatening to spill, “Well at least you have Tony, because I don’t! I’ve just run around all my life trying to be perfect, be easy for him to deal with, live up to his and everybody's expectations! But I’m not good enough, I’ve never been good enough, and I’ll never be good enough. I’m just Tony Stark’s bastard child who built herself from the ground up without the slightest bit of help from her father!”

“(Y/N)...”

“No, don’t you ‘(Y/N)’ me. You’ve gotten everything you wanted from my father since day one. I never had that. You didn’t have to work to really make your own suite, you didn’t have to endure a lifetime of pain because of his arrogant ass, YOU didn’t have to wonder where Tony was on your graduation day for MIT - his alma mater - because he attended your fucking high school graduation instead!”

“What the hell is going on?” Tony yelled from the opposite end of the room. Pepper stood behind him and you could hear other door creaking open to here the events down the hall, “Not only are you two fighting in the living room and woke up half the compound, but you woke up Morgan and now she’s crying in her room because you two are screaming at each other.”

“Well boo-fucking-hoo, poor Morgan woke up in the middle of the night,” you mumbled to yourself.

“I just came to get a glass of water,” Peter attempted to defend himself.

And from Tony and Pepper’s angle, he did look to be more innocent. He had a glass of water in his hand and was completely cool. While you stood opposite of him; a bottle of booze in one had, dark circles under your eyes, a tear stained face, and looking to be in a mad frenzy.

“(Y/N), explain yourself,” Tony spoke sternly.

You took a deep breath in and wiped away fresh tears with your sleeve, “No, I don’t have to.”

“Excuse me,” your father marched across the room, “I don’t know what’s gotten into you tonight but-”

“What’s gotten into me? Do you even listen to the bullshit that comes out of your mouth? No, of course you do, because you like listening to yourself talk more than you’ll listen to me. So talking to you is as fucking useless as talking to a deaf man!”

Peter and Tony now stood stunned at you and your sudden tantrum, but you knew it had been coming, you had always known. You knew one day you were going to explode, and it just happened to be tonight.

“I get it, I’m not precious Peter, or your beautiful Morgan. I’m just your bastard child from some broad you met on Malibu Beach. Even though I’m just a kid, I’ve always been your competition, a threat to you and your name. And even after every nearly life-ending event, I thought things would change - that you’d finally love me. But that never happened not even after Extremis infected not just Pepper’s body, but my own! And now I’m dying, I’m fucking dying, dad. I’m running out of time and trying to do everything I can. I go to school and get these diplomas and certificates to impress you. I invent and build thing to get your attention. I do it all because I still desire your validation and I’m running out of time,” you fall to your knees, everything becoming to much, “this is me trying, just like I have been all my life- but it’s still not enough.”

The room went silent. Only sobs echoed around the room as champagne poured out the bottle, staining the carpet. Neither Tony or Peter knew what to say or what to do. How could they begin to comfort the crying girl on the floor, or fix everything that ha occured over a lifetime.

Tony finally knelt down, “(Y/N), you know I never meant for any of this to happen, for you to ever feel like this. I’ve always been so scared of becoming your grandfather... I thought I was doing right by never pushing you, I guess it just never clicked.”

“Oh yeah, is that why you pushed me away and found Peter? And then when you realized you had messed up and forgot about your first daughter, you had another one in order to make things up?” You raised to head and shoulder up first, then finally rose back onto your two feet, “well congratulations, you’re worse than Howard Stark. And I hope you’re proud, Dad.”

With that, you left the living room. You couldn’t deal with in anymore that night, maybe ever again. Because when Tony came to check on you the next morning, you were missing. Only a note by your bedside remained as the only proof you had even lived in the room.

I didn't know if you'd care if I came back I have a lot of regrets about that Pulled the car off the road to the lookout Could've followed my fears all the way down And maybe I don't quite know what to say But I'm here in your doorway I just wanted you to know that this is me trying

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ewdaviddd · 4 years

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folklore think piece

for a lower case album such as this, i will be writing a lowercase think piece on the subject. i will not explain why. you get it or you don’t.

the 1: i have never been in love or any type of romantic relationship that left me with lasting feelings of any kind. but, on my fourth listen through of this song today, what once was just a promising and fun intro to this peasant girl summer gut punch, brought me to actual tears as i sat on the toilet in my lime green childhood bathroom as if i were mourning the one that got away (another great song). however, i am an expert on being hung up on the past, the “what could have been”, and made up hypotheticals. this song also introduces the film motif seen a lot in this album. i think dating an actor has really gotten to her. anyway what a killer way to begin, top notch stuff. how can a song be so fun and so soul crushing at the same time?

cardigan: when did taylor wear black lipstick? this is important to me. an old cardigan is an inherently bisexual article of clothing. that is not an opinion. i read it somewhere today and i believe it. this is the tip of the queer-coding ice berg in folklore, never fear. another reference, “tried to change the ending / peter losing wendy”. this year i wrote a movie script where both peter and wendy were both gay. coincidence? probably. basically this one is classic taylor poetry on every level and it being one of a trio in a larger story makes it that much better. yet again, high school romance is not a universal experience (like for me for instance) but haunting my “what-ifs” is going to haunt me for a long time. and the thought of someone saying i was their favorite cardigan makes me want to scream into a pillow.

the last great american dynasty: my favorite ts songs have always been the ones with detailed characters and stories and this one introduces the trope of the “mad woman” who comes back later on as well a long with many fun character details. at first this song is just cheeky and cute, very visual, a fun world to jump into. but then this particular stretch of lines makes your heart drop into your chest and reminds you why taylor isn’t just always fun and always cute and always creative, she also holds the ability to nimbly sock you in the gut when you least expect: “fifty years is a long time / holiday house sat quietly on that beach / free of women with madness, their men and bad habits / and then it was bought by me.” my jaw is still on the floor. and i’ve never bought a house myself. but i’ve spent numerous christmases having a marvelous time ruining everything (so i’ve been told) so this song still applies to my life.

exile (ft. bon iver): i’m gonna be honest. for as long as i can remember i have strongly disliked bon iver and i never remembered why. it is a matter of principle at this point. i just don’t trust him. but then taylor announced she wrote a song with him which filled me with tremendous anxiety. but i can rest easy. much like “the last time” this song is a ts and male artist collaboration i can get behind. also the film motif again: the only time i’ve left a theatre when i didn’t like a movie was never because movie tickets are so expensive and if i’m shelling out 11 dollars to sit in a chair, i’m staying the whole time no matter how bad the ending. but i probably would have left my sister’s keeper if i had seen it before if i’m being honest. so i get it. thats why i read spoilers for everything i watch before watching it, because the anxiety of worrying about how it ends make me not enjoy it in the first place. the end of this song: the call and response felt… ethereal? i felt like i was watching a broadway musical from the splash zone seats, crying as i was spat on.

my tears ricochet: this song is what i picture stepping outside in the middle of the night when an inch or so of snow has just fallen and i can see the flakes fall in front of a street light sounds like. or the scorned secret ex lover throwing themselves onto the coffin demanding to know why they weren’t enough. which is to say it feels like a sign from some sort of god. yet again, haunting is brought up, an overt reference to the fact that this album will live in my brain rent free for eternity. for some reason this song reminds me of the relationship between hamilton and burr when burr kills hamilton. that could be because i just watched the disney+ recording last week. one lives, one dies, but neither survive, both pay for it. Which is a super romantic and understanding view on murder. both musical experiences equally chilling and moving. if i die under mysterious circumstances this will for sure be played at the funeral.

mirrorball: first off, this is my mom's favorite which is very important. also, it has skewered a very specific but also universal insecurity of mine; existing just to please others and yet miserably failing. it is comforting that ts is not a “natural’ and feels she must always “try try try” because i too lack natural ability, but also rarely “try” even just the one time. the best way i can describe listening to this song is walking through a silent disco where everyone else is listening to some classic lady gaga jam and you are listening to a calming lullaby sung very far away. but don’t let the soothing sounds fool you. it still will have you reflecting on what it means to look and be looked at. a dark rabbit whole, like falling through the looking glass. i’ve never actually read that book though so i could be wrong.

seven: i’m dumb and on my first listen of this song i thought she “hit her peak” at 7 clock as opposed to age seven. but i always saw taylor swift as someone with an early bedtime. also a fun discovery while writing this, “seven” is the 7th song on the track list. clever. although this song is young and innocent and so nostalgic for a time when screaming ferociously was a widely accepted form of expression, it also sounds like a very old secret someone is whispering to me. a love from long ago that lasts beyond the person being in your life, passed down to me and it all just sounds a little gay. not just because of the specific line to hiding in the closet. but that certainly doesn’t go unnoticed. when i was seven i was definitely in love with girls and assumed that was just what friendship was, playing pirates and making plans of running away together.

august: the eighth track for the eighth month. her mind. also my birth month so that’s special. controversial opinion: from what i’ve read most people seem to think illicit affair is the third song in the triage of teen love. i will strongly make the case that it's actually this one. first of all, the subject: a short lived summer fling, which is specifically mentioned later in “betty”. the central heartbreak of this song is liking someone who always belonged to someone else. yes, this song is a window into a different summer, far from pandemic central and the escapist imagery is delightful. but a whole song from the pov of the “other woman” to james and betty is just so much more fun. and there are two more specific lyrics that prove my point. “remember when i pulled up and said "get in the car”” you will see later comes back from the other person’s perspective. and most of all: the repeated line, “meet me behind the mall”? only teenagers make plans to meet up behind a mall. i rest my case. so now we have cardigan and august. two pieces of the puzzle.

this is me trying: i’m glad i now have a succinct message to send to anyone when they ask me what the hell i’m doing at any given moment. this song just sounds like regret and waste in the most self-assured and confident way. this is “back to december” with the training wheels off. i have no apologies for my efforts at wasting all my potential. but in this song, taylor has opened her arms to me in a warm embrace and has forgiven me for all i’ve done wrong and reminds me to not take for granted the “try”. okay mom. i’m crying again, but okay.

illicit affair: this is the kind of thing that makes you feel sixteen, living in a dull suburb, while secretly screwing your 38 year old married neighbor who’s rich but wants to be an artiste. aka like a character in euphoria or something. it’s sexy and dangerous until you think about it and then it's just dingy and creepy. but this song starts and stays beautiful. most importantly, this song is too sad and depressing frankly, to be a part of the trilogy. we could never forgive james for leaving such a mess and making her a fool. you don’t want to be this girl. you want to walk up to her and shake her and yell “you exist and will not be ruined by any dumb man”. and that’s feminism.

invisible string: is it reductive if i say this one’s about joe? all my non-stan friends have asked me which ones are about him. we forgive them and point them in this direction. because it is lovely and beautiful that we are all tied to our soulmate for our whole lives before we ever meet them (because that would in fact mean that there is someone out there for everyone which might be naive or dumb but i am both of those things and whats the point of living if you don’t believe in the power of love). this honestly gives me “begin again” vibes in the best way. it’s red-era level with the wisdom of lover-era tay. sublime.

mad woman: the second mention of the “mad woman” as both taylor herself and the character in the story. as usual, tay stays calling out double standards and the manipulation of women into “going crazy” for expressing reasonable anger. I, personally, wish i could say “fuck you forever” without someone saying i’m “overreacting”. this is my least favorite song on the album and i’d still listen to it three times in a row and need to resist the urge to set a man’s lawn on fire. just girly things.

epiphany: i know she said this one is about her grandfather’s experience in the military but all i imagine is a slow montage of harry style’s character in “dunkirk” on the beach. and it’s beautiful. and much like my sophomore in high school self reading “all quiet on the western front” it evokes a pain from deep inside me that engulfs a loss i could never describe and a sadness too awful to witness. you will listen to this song and feel absolutely powerless to the will of the universe and it’s cruelty. and the faint but steady heart monitor beep in the background… i’ve never seen “grey’s anatomy” but i can imagine why it has so many fans sobbing. and let me end on this: two soldiers in some old war (meaning both men based on dunkirk) watching each other like this and living and dying together…gay.

betty: the first verse was pulled directly out of my subconscious fantasy of being in love in high school and it being so wonderful and painful and dramatic. and taylor riding a skateboard… is a mood. the song has been out for less than a week and it’s already a cold take to talk about how this is her gayest song to date (close runner-ups being reputation’s “dress” and “cardigan”). but of course i will still talk about it. the lyrics embody such authentic awkward gay energy (see the lesbian in booksmart for reference) and having been a 17 year old only three years ago, i can say with reasonably good authority that no 17 year old straight boy could stand in front of a crowd of peers and beg forgiveness from a girl he hurt. it’s just not realistic. these are all awkward, over-dramatic, young girls stumbling through love. and it’s awesome. james is the speaker of this song, and the subject of “august”, the summer fling that was never truly there due to james’ love for betty, the titular role of this song. thus completing the love triangle. and there are so many obvious references in this song to both “august” and “cardigan”. rhyming cardigan with car again makes me want to light myself on fire in the best way. i love it. “i dreamt of you all summer long” is the final nail in the coffin for the girl in “august” who was clearly just a place-holder. totally separate from taylor swift, my favorite word is porch. so the amount of times it appears in her lyrics is wonderful. say it out loud. it just feels nice. anyway, this song makes me want to be young and dumb and in love. the second can really only be tolerated because of the first and third. i hope the story has a happy-ending. if james were a boy i’d wish him the plague.

peace: the coming-of-age movie starring james and betty (and inez) is over. we have come to “the age” i guess. there’s a thought that’s gonna fester. if this song was just the line, “would it be enough if i could never give you peace?” over and over for four minutes it would still smash me to pulp and fill my body with helium gas. i can and will cause a car wreck when this comes on the aux. if this song is what being grown up is like (bare in mind grown up to me is like, 30) then i’m ready to be done coming of age. because i already worry if i’ll be at all enough for anyone and way too much for someone at the same time. but like all good poetry, this song isn’t about what it “means”, but how it “feels”. and this is new york city, the summer, pouring rain, a long walk home, desperately fearing and hoping they are there waiting for you.

hoax: a one-sided conversation between me and my stubborn clinical depression. i too, constantly stand alone on the cliff demanding a reason. one has not yet been presented. it operates both within and and against me. i could be bigger and stronger than it. but instead i tend to it like a prickly plant. (“no other sadness in the world will do”). there is nothing both sadder and funnier then the scene in “avatar: the last airbender” when prince zuko stands alone on a cliff screaming at the sky for lightning to strike him. i don’t know why this song reminds me so much of that. what a way to end such an emotional rollercoaster. it is so emotionally draining that it simply forces me to start folklore again from the top and listen to it all over again. or take a long therapeutic nap.

there are no skips. and it will still surprise you on your 267th listen. proceed with caution.

i knew you, in a past life maybe. i have not met you yet, but folklore has made me believe you exist.

@taylorswift 10/10 good work

@taylornation this had to be shared and i don’t have a twitter so

#@taylorswift #@taylurking #@taylornation #taylor swift #folklore #ts8

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nightmarenoise · 4 years

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Just comparing two cartoons I love

I understand that nobody asked in any capacity, but here I go anyway:

It feels fair to compare Ducktales 2017 to Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2018), not only because they're only about a year apart and truly, what is a year, but also because they

1. Both use this style that looks like it jumped straight out of a comic book. Okay, it's mostly the solidly inked shadows, but it gives me, personally, comic-y vibes.

2. They have taken what's arguably the main characters (the triplets for DT, the Turtles for TMNT) and shaken the formula up a good bit. Were the triplets formerly indistinguishable and all had the exact same personality, interests and voice actor, they are now three entirely separate entities with different traits and appearances. And while the turtles had about one defining personality trait and looked basically the same, save for the color of their masks, Rise made them different species of turtle to justify giving them radically different designs and three-dimensional personalities. Both shows faced criticism for this decision from people who cannot deal with change. Despite this, in both cases, it just works and does so incredibly well.

3. The oldest bros wear red.

4. We have two middle bros associated with the color blue who are both voiced by Ben Schwartz.

5. Both shows have a focus on family, with Ducktales especially focusing on found family and Rise on brotherhood.

6. Anime references!

Ducktales has a larger cast overall, with a lot of different characters all interacting with each other and they all have the most pleasant voices I've ever heard in my entire life. It's all solidly animated, the style is consistent and the animation is fluid, the characters are diverse and they're all lovely in their own right, except for those who aren't. The writing is top notch. Everyone feels consistent despite the large cast and it's delightful to watch all those interesting people interact with each other in their own way. The show also handles its mystery elements and occasional action scenes incredibly well, building suspense and delivering laughs and gut punches without hesitation. They juggle different tones like a professional clown, except the true clown was us, the audience, all along, for ever having doubted them.

The overarching plot of Ducktales, for its first two seasons, was mostly to uncover the mystery of what had happened to the mother of the triplets and all that would entail. Mystery and mythical elements will likely continue to be afoot for season 3.

Rise works with less focal characters, we have the Turtles, Splinter and April as well as various bad guys, but more than makes up for it with a lot of animation. A lot a lot of animation and it's all high quality. There's usually so much going on on-screen that a watching it once isn't enough to catch it all. Despite that, it doesn't feel crowded or rushed. Lots of dynamic shots and incredibly-choreographed action scenes, but nothing the thoroughly solid writing has to hide behind. Even when the baddies aren't the main concern, they're still well-rounded, interesting characters with unique abilities and motivations. Although, most of the mutants are just really feral. Still a delightfully diverse cast.

The turtles on the other hand spent their first season trying to foil their various foes, from a yokai trying to mutate all of humanity, to his mutants, to dealing with random mythical stuff, to the nefarious Foot Clan trying to reassemble the Dark Armor in the shadows. It's generally a more action-driven show, but they still find the time for some heartfelt moments.

The triplets 2.0

Despite their conventiently color-coded caps, they were really mostly the same character possessing three different bodies at a time. Well, the times of eerie The Shining like-twins, except extended to triplets, are over!

We have Huey, the oldest brother, voiced by Danny Pudi. He's a gentle, intellectual soul who values red hats, science, scout badges and checklists. Huey is arguably the closest in characterization to the original triplets, with some additional neat freak sprinkled in for flavor. He tries to be the responsible older sibling and keep his brothers under control and out of trouble. He also seems to have the most fiery temper of the bunch and should clearly not be pressed to the breaking point. He's my personal favorite and I heard season 3 will bring more focus to him, which makes me elated to hear. 888/10.

Middle child Dewey, the blue one, voiced by Ben Schwartz, who will inevitably come for all the iconic blue characters. He's very clearly the middle one, because he craves attention and validation and occasionally dreams of being an only child. Dewey is the one who started the investigation into their mom's disappearance and kept it from his brothers, partially to save them from hurt, but also because he wanted to feel special. He's the most interested in going on adventures with their uncle, but can get reckless when doing so. He's a bit of a spotlight hog, who has his own talk show that nobody watches and sings his own theme song when he needs to get hyped up, or just to fill this silence. This may sound kind of negative, but rest assured, he's a good, sweet boy. The focal triplet for the first season. 500/10.

Louie, the evil triplet, a schemer and a conman. Voiced by Bobby Moynihan. The youngest of the bunch. While they call him evil, he's really far too lazy to cause serious harm, except for when it's his laziness that's causing him to take dangerous shortcuts, oops. He dreams of making a fortune, but without having to work for it and preferably without any responsibility either, thank you. He also occasionally dreams of being a spoiled fat cat. Despite his chill demeanor, he can be a bit of a crybaby and those tears are only fake 50% of the time. I feel like he likes getting babied, but mainly because that means there's less work for him to do. Season 2, which focuses more on him, reveals that he's actually quite brilliant, capable of seeing all the angles and giving him some chessmaster-like qualities. He needs to learn to use those abilities for good. 665/10.

Hi, she's Webbie! The honorary triplet, who also got a massive makeover, from annoying token girl tagalong to socially awkward, adorkable action girl. Be careful who you call ugly in middle school, indeed. Like a more ferocious Mabel Pines, she has a grappling hook and years of martial arts training under her belt. Webbie can absolutely decimate you, but won't, because she's a sweet girl. Voiced by Kate Micucci. She continues to like unicorns and the color pink, but assuredly in the most badass of ways. She helped Dewey with his quest to uncover the mystery of his missing mom, but works well with all of the triplets, with Huey taking her under his wing a bit and Louie trying to get her to chill out more. Webbie is a sweetheart and I would die for her, were it not completely unnecessary, since she's more than capable of taking care of herself. ∞/10.

A lot of the supporting cast also saw updates and changes, for instance Gyro being a genius without social skills and Fenton being an adorkable scientist, but again, they work really well. They're interesting new takes on beloved characters. Even the new additions to the cast are great. In short, I love me some birds and am excited for season 3, Disney, get your scheduling together.

The Turtles 2.14.2 - I upgraded my upgrade in the middle of the upgrade

Also, these guys have seen so many different iterations in their, what, 30+ years of existence. As someone with no prior attachment to the turtle brand, I don't have a lot to say here. Leo's not the leader in this one and Raph has more personality than being angry at Leo for being the leader. Donnie is not just a random nerd spouting technobabble and Mikey has more depth than yelling the catchphrase every now and again. Apparently, this made people upset. I don't know how to help you with that. The middle brothers exude some high chaotic energy and should not be left unsupervised, but the oldest and youngest seem fairly stable.

Raphael, the red-bandana'd alligator snapping turtle is an imposing figure. He's the oldest and therefore team leader by default. Raph has no reason to be upset at Leo, so he isn't. Despite his ferocious appearance, he's a soft guy, who likes teddies and doting on his brothers, but fears puppets. He's a bit of a knucklehead, most of his plans involve smashing things with his tonfa and he may refer to himself in the third person in the heat of the moment, but he possesses emotional intelligence, is open about his feelings and looks after his brothers. He is big and and strong, but his heart is bigger and stronger. He especially loves small animals animals, who don't usually return his feelings. RIP in F. This responsible guy is voiced by Omar Benson Miller. 300/10, very soft. Somehow both the heart and the big guy of the group.

Donatello has been upgraded from second-to-youngest to second-to-oldest, not that it makes much of a difference. His color of choice is purple and he continues in the character's tradition of being a nerd, although this time, with self-confidence. Donnie is very sure of himself and his abilities. As a spiny soft-shell turtle, he's less sure of his shell, but that's okay, he's made robotic battle shells to make up for it and his bō is the mother of all multitools. This guy can build you a tank out of a buggie and upgrade your animatronic into something to give the FNAF franchise a run for its money. He's the smartest of the four and when not focused on his phone, very focused on the mission. Due to having to deal with his bros, he can be exasperated a lot. Thinks of himself as an emotionally unavailable bad boy, even though he's just really sensitive and wants his dad or someone parent-aged to tell him they're proud of him. Theater kid. 999/10, give the middle child a hug and some coffee, you can't tell me he has a healthy sleep cycle. This sarcastic nerd is brought to you by Josh Brener.

Leonardo, Ben Schwartz's second blue character (Sonic (2020) being the third under his belt) and also his second ninja after Randy Cunningham. He's not the leader. He's still a good character. Leo has approximately 800 charisma and unwavering faith in both, his family and himself. Mostly himself though. Like Louie, season 2 revealed that he is a master of prediction and playing people like the cheap kazoo you can't tell me he doesn't have to play Darude's Sandstorm on. He dabs, he boards, he will pun you to death and back and he has an Odachi that can cut through space. Leo likes hogging the spotlight when given the chance and wants to be showered with attention and praise. Having four kids really only means twice the middle child nonsense. Leo is a red-eared slider, the original species of the TMNT, as I've been told. He's also the best at being a ninja, but usually too lazy to really apply himself. He's younger than Donnie, but tumblr suggested to read the two as twins, since they're approximately the same age, which sheds a whole new light on their dynamic and frankly, makes way too much sense. 420/10, for our memelord Leonardo.

Michelangelo, the eternally youngest of the bunch. An artiste, who puts stickers on himself, tags the lair, has a spiritual connection to his skateboard and the color orange. Mikey loves all things arts and craft, but he also tries his hands at cooking. He idolizes famous TV chefs and can do pretty much anything out of and into pizza. He's funny, without being annoying, like I feel a lot of other iterations of this character are. It's an easy pitfall for comic relief guys, but this one is more than that. If that's an issue, feel free to leave my house. Mikey is genuinely sweet and happy, optimistic and soft, but also the one brother who knows when it's time to take off the gloves and just get straight to the point. He's open about and in touch with his feelings. He's just baby. Don't treat him as one though. A lot of promo stuff says Leo has taken him under his wing, but he's had more episodes together with Donnie. Not that I'm complaining, they work very well together. Mikey and Raph are both the emotional centers of the group. Does not mind being yeeted after retracting into his shell, as box turtles may do. (Disclaimer, do not yeet actual box turtles!) His weapon of choice is a Kusari-Fundo that can turn into a fire-demon and is about as unpredictable as he is. Likes to jump and bounce around. Probably does parkour. Voiced by Brandon Mychal Smith who is audibly having a blast. 500/10, just an all around Kusari-fun guy.

For last, but certainly not least, April O'Neil, my girl, who saw an upgrade from flip-flopping love interest who was vaguely ninja-ing, but mostly damsel in distress-ing, to all-around spunky powerhouse and by God, she is glowing. Rise has her more as a big sister figure to the turtles, and I will not be told otherwise. She is independent and don't need no man, mutant or no. She has her teleporting pet, her faith in herself, her pinpoint baseball hitting skills and the a complete and utter lack of fear. Despite being a weirdness magnet, April is perfectly comfortable. She would like to be able to keep a job, maybe, but she has loving friends who respect and love her. Surprisingly good a ninja, fearless and fun. Occasionally thinks about being popular at school, but it's really not a big concern, she's not gonna throw a tantrum over it or anything. April is very chill. Not likely to be damseled. More likely to run after the turtles and clean up their messes or save them and everyone involved is fine with that.

The late 10's are really coming in to show us how dynamic and well-written female characters that aren't just "strong", but three-dimensional and relatable are done, huh?

An iconic performance by Kat Graham and ∞/10 for being the honorary better ninja non-mutant non-turtle and best big sister.

Here we have it, two older properties, having new life breathed into them to make them fresh and enjoyable. Have a new spin put on them, to better fit in with our current world. You can feel the love oozing out of every frame. At the end of the day, of course, it all boils down to taste and whether or not you like something. I gave Ducktales 2017 a go because a lot of the staff from Gravity Falls went to work on it and if you don't know me, I love me some Gravity Falls. It's a good show and I enjoy it. I recently got into Rise and while I don't know much about the people working on it, it is also a greatly enjoyable show, easily on the same level as Ducktales, if not above, yet with far less people speaking about it. Which is frankly saddening. I can only recommend the two of them wholeheartedly. If you love animation, yourself and occasionally feeling things, these are for you!

#ducktales 2017 #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rottmnt #huey duck #dewey duck #louie duck #webbie vanderquack #raphael #donatello #leonardo #michelangelo #april o'neil

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smoljoelito · 5 years

Text

best friends with CNCO

requested by/request: one of my mutuals requested this but I can’t remember which one for sure I forgot to screenshot I think it was @quierick or @cloudfiveclub OOF sorry

warnings: fluff and language

masterlist

Series

richard camacho

erick brian colón

chris velez

joel pimentel

zabdiel de jesús

tags: @quierick @mepuserojito @ericks-mala-actitud @woowoodaaboo @ella-se-vuelve-loca @joelsaww @honeyzhong @sarswilltakeyouout @pimentelssmile @whippedforcnco @notsoteenagegirl @richukisbb @besosdecnco @emsy55 @cloudfiveclub @erickspretend1 @hardtoadore @pretendcnco (join my taglist)

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♢ Richard

Constantly making fun of you

Takes you grocery shopping

Makes sure you’re always feeling okay and checks in on you while on tour

Answers the phone like “Sup biiiiiitch!”

Aaliyah’s godmother

Shooting you with nerf guns

Receiving a punch in the gut every time he hits you in the head

Random wrestling matches on the floor

Him being shocked when you pin him down sometimes

Working out together

Starting kickboxing together

Likes to pick you up because you’re smol™

Gets mad when you tell him he’s also a shortie

Lots of swearing and dirty jokes from him

You’re pure so he gets slapped a lot

Protective like a brother oof you can’t have any boyfriend without his opinion

Asking you about songs he’s not sure about to make sure you like them

Helping him write music

Beatboxing while he raps has become a very popular thing with the fans on his Instagram story

Speaking Spanish with him but usually only when you’re mad/annoyed

Tries to dress you

You try to dress him

He has a key to your apartment so sometimes you’ll just come home and he’s chilling on the couch watching the soccer game

You’re like ?

and he’s like hey how are you? Like it’s no big deal.

He tries to get you to be his wingman and get girls for him

Sometimes you actually do

He always points out girls in public

*eye roll*

but

If you point out a man it’s all “I will beat him if he steps even in your direction.”

Loving him unconditionally like family

♔ Erick

So many bad jokes

But good thing you somehow find bad jokes funny

You too will just about be pissing your pants at how funny you think Erick’s bad jokes are

Because they are that bad

Super open about his feelings/emotions with you

Telling you everything

“Hey y/n! Last night at a club this girl grinded on me and she did a really good job!”

“...OKAY?”

“Good morning, Y/N. I got really drunk last night and I just threw up, what’s good?”

Not being as protective

Actually tries to get you dates

“Hey Y/N, that guy is attractive!”

“Why don’t you go over there then?”

*Smack*

Lots of hitting when you’re annoyed

Lots of laughter

He steals your beanies and hats

You steal his hoodies

Sometimes you both dress each other

Making fun of him constantly

Getting protective when the other boys make fun of him

Only you’re allowed to make fun of him

Him making you laugh whenever need be

Lots of “checking up on you” texts

Practices singing in front of you

Always learns your favorite songs for when you have a bad day cause he’ll sing them and make you smile

Teaches you how to play guitar

Tries to teach you how to sing

Always his salsa buddy

Love him more than anyone else

☼ Chris

He plays too much

Always making fun of you

like every opportunity that comes

Your comebacks are epic though, which he loves

Laughing so hard together that you almost throw up

Fave memory is when you made Chris laugh so hard he DID throw up

Protective over you only when the guy is bigger than him

Always cracking jokes together

Cuddling!

All the guys love having you around cause you both literally light up the night with your smiles, jokes, and laughter

Chris buys you tickets to fly out to see him all the time

Steal his sunglasses and hats all the time

Acts like he cares but really doesn’t cause you wear them better than him

People ask if you’re married all the time

Going out to eat all the time to try new foods together

Chris singing to you when your sad which sometimes makes you cry harder cause it’s so pretty

Going clubbing all the time

Having flirting competitions with each other to make sure your game is as good as possible™

Playing pool with him

Making fun of him when he can’t get the 8 ball in

“You even have that bitch tattoed on your hand!”

Spanglish

Lots of swearing in Spanish

He also has a key to your house

but instead, you’ll come home and find him sitting on your kitchen counter eating a bag of chips

“You better put my favorite birthday cake Oreos down you little fucker.”

Sends you care boxes of different foods and items from really cool countries he goes too

Your fave: green tea Kit Kats from Japan

Somehow can find them in the US and gets them for you when you’re feeling down.

“Hey Y/N I wrote you a song, wanna hear it.”

“sure!”

*strums the guitar* “You’re a fucking bitch but I love youuuuu!”

A strong punch in the arm

*strums the guitar* “Now you see what I mean!”

(Courtesy of @erickspretend1) reenacting the “I love you biiiiitch, I aint ever gonna stop loving you biiiiitch” in public to make you embarrassed

Loving his dumbass too much

♡ Joel

Color coordination in public

Dressing each other

Stealing his rings, hats, and any other accessories

Lots of dad jokes

Lots of smol giggles™

You're his personal photographer

Asks you to paint his nails sometimes

Lots of Disney movies

Always get each other tickets to plays for each other’s bday’s

Broadway & Disney carpool karaoke

Go to see Ed Sheeran and Shawn Mendes in concert with him

Sing there albums in the car

Always finding an excuse to sing

“Joel, sweetie, your famous. You don’t need to show off your voice anymore.”

Avocado everything

Calling him hoe-el when he pisses you off

Having to stop every time he sees a dog to pet it

“We should get a dog!”

“You’re gone touring for like 9 months of the year! I’ll have to take care of it!”

Texting you tea all the time

FaceTime’s right before concerts just to say a quick hello

Having the boys help you surprise him and fly out to see him in concert

Sees you in the front row and is like a deer in headlights

“HI GUYS! MY BEST FRIEND FLEW OUT TO SEE ME AND SURPRISE ME! SHES THE BEST! Y/N GET YOUR ASS UP HERE!”

Dancing with him on stage to Pretend cause he taught you the choreography

The fans adoring your relationship

Lots of ice cream, cuddles, and love

✰ Zabdiel

A bit more of a quiet relationship

Calls you when he’s sad, anxious, or feeling off a lot

You always know the right thing to say to him and vice versa

Support each other immensely

Lots of late-night deep talks on FaceTime or like on a balcony if he’s home.

Lots of cuddling, especially when one of you isn’t happy

Uses you as a human sleeping bag and passes out on you all the time

“You’re so small!”

“You’re a tree! Tell me, is the air quality different up there? Maybe that’s why you say dumb shit cause you get light-headed.”

He’s chill, you’re not at all.

“Cálmete princesa!”

“It’s NOT that easy for me Zabdi!”

Using his height to your advantage and taking him grocery shopping.

“Could you get that please, Z?”

Helping you learn Spanish

Speaking/singing in Spanish to you when you’re anxious cause it calms you down for some reason

He sends coffee to your house sometimes when he’s on tour just the way you like it

Shows you pics of girls he thinks are cute all the time

Never lets you look at men

“You’re too good for him!”

“I just glanced at him! Do you know him?”

“No, but I am a man. His intentions are not good.”

Tries to hook you up with some of his friends.

Never works out.

Gives you hoodies before he leaves on tour

Buys you cute little things on tour and sends them to you

Surprises you at work sometimes when he gets a break from touring

Punching him in the arm after from making you cry in front of your coworkers

The boys fly you out sometimes when he’s having a rough week

Instantly his mood is back to normal

Lots of fluff, support, and love

#cnco preferences #joel pimentel #richard camacho #erick brian colon #christopher velez #zabdiel de jesus #my imagines #my preferences #cnco #cnco imagines #best friends to lovers series

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okimargarvez · 5 years

Text

THE PUNISHER -3

Original title: The punisher.

Prompt: mental and physical torture, guilt, contrast love, dark drama, punishment.

Warnings: Luke OOC, sexual content.

Genre: romantic, smut, comedy, angst, drama, friendship.

Characters: Penelope Garcia, Luke Alvez, BAU team, Roxy.

Pairing: Garvez.

Note: oneshot.

Legend: 💏😘😈👓🔦🐶❗👻.

Song mentioned: none.

The Punisher- Masterlist

GARVEZ STORIES

Note: this story stems from the vision of the program “Monster in my family”. I repeat: Luke is OOC, especially in the last parts of this story. If you don’t want to read, don’t do it.

Part 3

-Did you like the Little Red Riding Hood fable?- that tone again. Penelope immediately understood where he wanted to go. –

Which was your favorite story, as a child?- he really wanted to know, but he wouldn't limit himself to acquiring this information and putting it in his memory.

Alice in Wonderland.

He had to expect it. The little girl who fell asleep and dreamed of a fantasy world. And they had also recently made the film version in HD. He had liked her choice.

-Caterpillars who smoke, mushrooms that change size, queens who want to cut off heads...- he had run his tongue from the neck to the hollow of the breast. -White Rabbit or Mad Hatter?- the decision seemed too easy.

She hadn't thought about it again. The weeks had passed so quickly... indeed, a whole month had passed. In the end she had twisted her ankle and also weakened her other leg: the result, crutches for a while. More embarrassing explanations to their colleagues. They had decided not to tell them anything for now. In fact, Luke had actually decided. But she had agreed. No one had noticed the fact that Agent Alvez was absent much more frequently from his desk, just to appear only a few yards away, watched by a thousand computer eyes... or that when they were out on a mission, he spent every free minute texting, with a sly look. And even if they had noticed, they hadn't wanted to intrude.

Penelope surrendered also on the transfer. Piece by piece, in a few days there was nothing left in her old apartment. And he had been right once again. Their things matched perfectly, almost as if they had been bought together, on purpose. Those of Luke gave that touch of tranquility and practicality that was missing from those of Penelope... and vice versa. Roxy had been even happier than her master. There had been so many lunches and dinners, and hell, he cooked divinely. Another plus point. The man of a thousand surprises. And there were plenty of walks.

And the kisses, the caresses. They made love every day, at least once a day. She thought she was too old for this kind of things, but he made her want to sing Katy Perry's Teenage Dream. Because it was true. It made her feel young, desirable and... loved. She still hadn't managed to tell him what she felt, but she felt she was very close to it...

She hadn't thought about it again until today.

Penelope opens the door (he obviously gave her a copy of the keys, cause now this house is also hers, and how to not think about the sweet key ring he had attached to it?) And she enters. Luke is not there. He's coming back from the last case, just solved. A man who took advantage of his position to kidnap and kill young women. Nothing new, yet never predictable. Roxy runs to meet and to show her love. This is also a positive side of not being single anymore. She looks at the ring on her finger. It's a simple thing. Completely different from all the others, yet no one paid any attention to it.

She smiles and goes to the bedroom. She wants to make herself beautiful for him, because she knows what effect abstinence makes to him and she misses him too much. As soon as she enters she notice something strange. A package on the bed. For my chica, says the ticket. The smile becomes even bigger and more mischievous. But how did he do it, if he is miles from here to... She opens it. Inside there is a costume, like those used to make cosplay. From Alice in Wonderland. Blue and white dress, exactly like that of the Disney version... and then... Oh God. Even the matching shoes. And the long stockings well past the knees. And the black headband. She doesn’t resist, she wears it. It is no longer she who decides, it is an impulse that is transmitted directly from the dress into her body. The heels are much more vertiginous than the originals, and also for the rest... it makes her breast stand out very much (as if it were needed) and it almost seems like she has a narrow waist.

-Better still than I thought.- she literally leaps into the air. The heart beats very fast, even though she has recognized the voice. Luke emerges from behind the curtains. But wait... he's dressed as a Mad Hatter! And above all that hat, how he is looking good with it... For the rest, she would laugh. If she weren't bursting her chest.

-But... but... you weren't... and how did you... oh, Alvez, I give up!- he laughs shamelessly of all her mumbles. He approaches slowly.

-I took a flight earlier, as soon as the case was closed. I said it was an emergency...- he looks down -... and it's not really a lie.- she feels his excitement pushing. -Do you like it, Alice?- she feels a bit ridiculous, but just to be with him... she nods.

-But I don't understand what it's for. Ok, my tits are about to explode, but I don't think...- he pulls a cord that is under her armpit, which she hadn't even noticed and... two small windows appear, exactly in the middle, one for each breast, which leave only free the tips, while the rest of the chest remains forced into the bodice. She opens her mouth in shock. -But where do you find them, things like this?- an answer is not necessary, just his mischievous look. -Were you going to look for it at night?- but it's a stupid question, because at those times he's busy with other activities, and she knows it perfectly...

-Let go, and I will take you to a land even more extraordinary than that of wonders...- does she need another kind of encouragement? Her eyes close in the same instant that she feels his tongue, his hands, his hair tickle her, as he continues to tease her and then he slips his hands under her skirt and then... then she completely loses control and then, lying down on the mattress to catch her breath, she is no longer able to say what happened. Luke does this effect on her.

But it's not just good sex. It's another thing to wake up and have someone next to you who snores or gets up perpetually with a fixed thought. Go for a walk in the park holding hands. Ruin all the film endings, after years of watching them with Derek and having learned the various dynamics, by now. Receive visits in her bunker. Flirting in the elevator. Doing disasters trying to cook for him. All small and trivial things. No candlelit dinners or rose petal paths. The best of the best is to go grocery shopping. Although she is often lost to look in the cart space where the bag rests, but where many others hold something much more precious...

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

-Stomach ache? Did I do something wrong?- his worried tone brings her back to earth. She realizes that her stomach is tightening, but the reason is very different from what Luke thinks. And she is certainly not able to tell him about it. She tries, opens her mouth, but the words don't want to go out. She shakes her head to let him know that it's not his fault. But then, who knows how, he comes to understand everything. This month they had practically told each other their lives, their thoughts and he knew a great deal about her. -Are you happy to be Henry and Hank's godmother?- the woman nods. -You... never wanted... your children, Penelope?- it's not a normal thing. How can he read my mind so easily? No one has ever succeeded before. Not even Morgan. It makes me feel so... discovery. For me, love must be like this. It need not be necessary for one to ask for something, the other has to intuit it automatically... without reason. But what did I think? Love. Love. And I can't even say something nice to him. He only repeats to me how beautiful, attractive, intelligent, sexy, witty I'm... and the best I can do is to compliment him on the job.

-Yes.- she finally whispers after those that seem centuries. She looks down, because she knows she will cry. She will cry for all the babies that never born and who will never come to light. He caresses her cheeks and then gently lifts her chin.

-It's not too late.- But this time Luke is wrong. The biological clock has run its course. Already many years before. She thought Luke had understood, since she had never asked him to wear protection and she didn't take the pill. -The first time I saw you interact with Spencer, I thought you had to be a wonderful mother. Maternal. The first adjective that came to mind looking at you. You are made to have a your baby.- it's all too pressing. The sweetness and at the same time the strength of his words; the way he touches her; that pain that has always been too string to hunt in the depths of her soul. And now everything comes up again, like a punch to the gut.

-When... when I saw you with Roxy, the first time, you seemed like a...- she can't find a suitable adjective -...you behaved with her as if she were your child...- Luke smiles.

-She is. But the idea of some brat who runs around the house, with Roxy isn't bad either.- it's really more than she can handle.

-You want... you want a...- he doesn't let her finish.

-Yup. Here we go again, it's premature, we've been together for a month... but let's face it, we're no longer very young, and like I told you, I don't want to waste what's left. I never thought about being a father until I met you. I've never had the right woman with whom to think about the future...- she falters, then he puts her closer. -In reality it was after that case, what JJ and I risked burning... not being able to save that baby marked me. But I also thought about how many creatures are without parents, whether they are in the "system" and how many potential future serial killers are just waiting to be trained... when it would be enough for them to find a home that welcomes them with love. And you are love. We are love.- at first she could have doubts, fears and uncertainties. How normal it would have been for anyone else in her situation. But now Penelope believes in him blindly. Her biggest dream is coming true. Too little time has passed, but maybe just too much.

-Luke... I... love you.-

While they visit websites that explain how adoption works, she doesn't notice at all that the man's smile is strange. A grimace that at a superficial glance would seem only a symptom of contentment and instead is pure enjoyment and satisfaction. Like when a long-established goal has been achieved.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

TAGS: @arses21434 @kathy5654 @martinab26 @reidskitty13 @jenf42 @gracieeelizabeth27 @silviajajaja @smalliemichelle99 @charchampagne14 @thinitta @myhollyhanna23 @garvezz @mercedes-maldonado @shyladystudentfan @cosmicmelaninflower @avengerquake123vanuusims @inlovewithgarvaz @the-ellen-stuff

#garvez #criminal minds #cm #penelope garcia #luke alvez #penelope x luke #luke x penelope #garcia x alvez #alvez x garcia #luke ooc #dark theme

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eerythingisshaka · 6 years

Text

Signs of Rain

[Y’lan Noel x Reader]

Word Count: 2.6K

Warnings: Just fluffer!

A/N: This is my first non-Black Panther character/actor related fic (that I have shared anyway) But it is just as relevant as the others. This one goes out to @afraiddreamingandloving [my sister from another mister, my security detail, my alarm clock, my DJ, my tea and crumpets (sorry)] for introducing me to Luke James’ ‘Signs of Rain’ a while back. It has been rainy so much where I am that I have had the song on repeat almost constantly and a lil fic inspo came from it so there!

Walking up to his car, you feel nerves begin to dance within you. You hadn’t seen him in such a long time, you wondered if he would even recognize you still. He is sitting on the roof of his car, and old school Cadillac he has put his soul into refurbishing. He always had a thing for tinkering, couldn’t keep his hands still for a minute before he was taking things apart and most of the time unsuccessfully reassembling them; but he was good once he got into a trade. Working with machinery did wonders for his frame, as you studied his back muscles through his shirt. A wide back was something of a sixth sense for you to notice and he was speaking your language.

“Hey,” you say in a pleasant tone once you make it to him.

He turns to surprised by your voice before his expressions softens at the sight of you. “Hey, girl. How you doin?” His smile widens, his complexion accents the perfect assembly of teeth, shining like an “OPEN” sign.

He gets down from the car to open his arms to you, and you reciprocate, bringing him in close to you. His body is warm and welcoming on the cooler than normal summer evening as he held you tightly. His beard tickled the side of your face as your hands rest on his back, solid. It took everything in you not to claw at it, but you gave him a good friendly rub instead. His scent gave you a sense that he loved the Lord but would certainly make you cry, which you got plenty of back in y’alls day.

Breaking from the hug, you answer his question. “I’m good, Y’lan. You look...great! How you been?”

He gives a cough like laugh, “Aw, see the man’s supposed to compliment first, but cat caught my tongue when I seen you. Thanks though. You ain’t changed a bit...but for the better.”

You feel a blush coming up to your cheeks as he charmed the stress right off of you. Y’lan gave off real casanova vibes, but he really was a dork at heart. You remember when you first met him, he couldn’t look straight at you the whole time you and your friends were around him and his. You thought he hated your guts, but it just turned out he was so nervous to talk to you, he turned incredibly shy. You worked that out of him eventually.

“Oh, stop. I ain’t had no time to get my makeup and hair straight before you called me. I really am a mess.” You say as Y’lan motions for you to pop a squat on the hood of his car next to him.

“Tsk, you still worried about looking on point 24/7, huh? You know I never been one to ask you to look a certain way because-”

“-because I always looked like a million dollars dropped in your lap, I know. I remember.” You say with a slight eye roll. Y’lan was your biggest fan when you were dating. He made sure you never felt inadequate, showering you with compliments, gifts, PDA, and more. It wasn’t that you didn’t believe him, but you always felt like you needed to keep up or the compliments would stop.

Y’lan gave a quick chuckle at your sarcastic reiteration of his words as he looked off into the setting sun. The rays cast over his skin, giving his arms and profile gold edges against his deep melanin tone. “I say what I mean, and I mean it, (Y/N).”

You rub your legs to stay warm. “So what are you doing in town, then?” You ask to move the conversation.

Y’lan shrugs, “I had some time off to come through, Wanted to clear my head, time on the road does that pretty good for me.”

You wondered if he had known you broke up with your former flame before deciding to ‘come through’. You turn to him curiously. “But why did you call me? We hadn’t seen each other in almost two years, man.”

Y’lan scratched his beard, causing you to catch sight of his knuckles; another weakness of yours. His hands were strong and rough from his trade work and they knew their way around you at one time. “I couldn’t come by without seeing you.”

“Why, though?” you press him.

Y’lan sighs. “You really finna grill me right now? Instead of enjoying this beautiful evening?”

“Y’lan, you left me, remember? You couldn’t stand to be around me anymore. You felt like I was bringing you down and holding you back from whatever the hell, I still don’t know! And then just out of the blue, you call me up and say you’re in town and to meet at our spot -- what if I have a man? This would be inappropriate!”

Y’lan licks his lips staring at the ground, “Do you?”

“That’s known of your business --”

He cuts you off, “Why can’t you be straight with me? That was one problem, if you want me to be honest. You always wanted to beat me to the punch, when I never meant a bad word to you.”

You cross your arms, “You never asked me why though! You just brush it under the rug and tell me to quit playing. Did you ever think about why I did that?”

Y’lan looks at you, poker face. “Of course I did. But I guess I wasn’t asking the way you wanted me to ask. Life ain’t a movie, (Y/N). Shit ain’t scripted and-and beautifully monologued with a orchestra. Sometimes you just gotta do things yourself and quit expecting others to pull it out of you like a magic trick.”

You sucked your teeth as it pained you to admit. “You made me feel like magic. You gave me Disney Prince and happily ever after every damn day we were together, ok?”

Y’lan rubs his temples. “Then what is it? What made you...despise me in the end?”

You do a double take to him when he says this. As quick as you were about to snap him up, you melted at his response. You never despised him, you couldn’t. He treated you like a goddess, like the last good woman on earth was all his, he practically worshipped the ground you walked on. He held his hands together looking off into the distance as he waited for your your response tensely. The sun had set by now, letting the stars illuminate your surroundings. The parts of his skin that once reflected gold were now replaced with a bluish hue.

You took a deep breath and spoke softly. “I never despised you, Y’lan. I hate that you ever thought that of me. I could never hate you.”

He holds his hands out before clapping them together, “So what? And?”

You rub your hands together nervously. “You were too good. I didn’t feel worthy to be with you.” Y’lan turned his gaze to you. You wanted to caress his wide face, but you had to keep talking. “I guess I felt like God was playing a trick on me or something? Like, if He gave me something this good in my life, then shit must be ready to hit the fan any minute. I was used to that pattern. But, shit never happened. It was always good with us, I just doubted my worth, our chemistry, and...it cost a lot.”

Y’lan nodded slowly, digesting your words. “Wow. So, like in the movies, when a character gets their fortune told that they gonna die, and they try everything to avoid it but end up doing something that causes it anyway?”

You look off confusedly, “Uhh, yeah I guess so. Something like that.” You both giggle at the morbid comparison. You felt like a weight was taken from around your shoulders. You finally got all of your feelings out to Y’lan after all this time. You were grateful you picked up his call tonight.

Y’lan leaned on his widened knees anxiously, “Soooo, what do we do now?”

You shrug looking up at the sky, “Enjoy the sights a little more maybe?”

“I smells like it’s gonna rain, though.” Y’lan says sniffing the air.

“Tsk, the weathermen ain’t never completely on point. That’s probably for a storm further south of us.”

Y’lan bares those pearly whites again. “Mhm, you know best.”

You push him lightly, “And don’t forget it, Jack!”

You and Y’lan lay back on his car to point out constellations and make up ones on your own. You could watch them all day, just lying next to him. It really felt like old times between the two of you as you all point to the sky, hands occasionally brushing against each other, sending shockwaves through your body. You didn’t know how to approach a conversation of romance but you were fine with just laying together as friends.

A clap of thunder shakes you both as it snaps you out of your little world.

“Whoa, that sounded close.” Y’lan said sitting up and checking the sky.

“Yeah. Maybe just five more minutes and we can dip?”

Just as you offered that up, the clouds open; unleashing buckets on top of both of.

“Oh, shit!” Y’lan exclaimed, jumping off the car.

“Fuck fuck FUCK!” You jump off to headed to the passenger side of his car.

Y’lan gets his door open and hops in. You try the door, still locked. “Y’lan! Come on! Hurry up!”

You see a little through the window as he reaches for the lock; nothing but teeth.

You slide in, slamming the door shut. “Y’lan! What the fuck was that about! I’m soaked as hell now!” You pull his visor down to your hair wrecked and what little makeup you put on washing away.

Y’lan leans back, his hand resting on the back of your seat. “I thought you didn’t put no makeup on for me?”

You freeze in your lie. “Uhhhh…”

“See? You need to be straight with me! It’s all good though.”

You scoff at him. “Shiiiit, be straight with me: you left me out there longer on purpose.”

Y’lan sucks his teeth, “Man, see -”

“Don’t blame this old ass car! I saw your grin, you liked seeing me struggle!” you feigned hurt as you squeezed your shirt and wiped your face.

“My bad, (Y/N). I did get too carried away. You want my shirt?”

You think this over a minute as the fabric of your clung to you like an icy leech, “Uh, well…”

He looked embarrassed before looking away, clutching the steering wheel. “I mean, just until you get home. Unless your dude would have issue-”

“I don’t have a man, Y’lan.” You confess looking through the window away from him.

There’s a moment of silence, soundtracked by the pitter patter of the fat droplets crashing into the windshield. You remain still, trying to control your breathing as you feel like you should say something more significant, like you want him back. But he had a life away from you, no way he could go back to the shit he had with you. Y’all just hashed out your past differences ten minutes ago!

Y’lan continues, “Well uh, just let me know what you need and when you ready to leave. I can take you back. I know the rain makes you nervous.”

You shake your head looking at him, “Not as much anymore. Your little trick kind of worked.”

Y’lan makes an impressed expression, “For real?”

“Mhm. The lightning is like a part of Mother Nature, right? So when I see it, it’s like her stretch marks just coming across.”

Y’lan nodded, looking down at your legs for a split second, “Some of the most beautiful paths are made in nature…” A bolt of lightning flashes above you all, illuminating the car as you look in Y’lan’s eyes. You’ve seen that stare before, a warning sign.

“Mhm...When it thunders-” Almost like on cue, a crash of thunder makes your body jump.

Y’lan rests a hand on your arm with concern, “You ok?”

You nod, “The thunder is just the crash of our-”

“-bodies, intertwined….Yeah, maybe that could use an update.” Y’lan smiled weakly as he rests his hands on his widened lap. Any time he manspreads was acceptable to you; showed confidence, authority, and that he had plenty to hang loose.

You felt waves beginning to flow beneath you as your mind wandered to when his lap was your favorite seat in the house. You felt yourself getting colder though and couldn’t stand your shirt much longer.

“Ok, take off your shirt. I need to get these wet clothes off.”

Y’lan looked at you a moment, taken aback by your request but obliged, taking his shirt off. Your shirt being wet, was more of a struggle as you it kept rolling and tugging at your skin instead of sliding off.

You could tell your struggling was taking a while as Y’lan’s hand worked the neck from off your head slowly but surely until you popped out. Y’lan’s face was closer to yours than you expected. His wide shoulders bare, made you want to kiss them. Your shirt was still tangled on your arms between you as Y’lan held them. His gaze stayed locked on your face as his forehead crinkled up with anticipation. The yearning began to grow as you waited for a cue, a sign that this wasn’t a dream, a split in the time/space continuum making time slow down a second. You couldn’t hold back, you wouldn’t if in this very moment you were given the opportunity to let your emotions take over for what you truly wanted.

Soon as he batted his lashes down to look at your mouth you dove into him. Grabbing his face, clutching his beard, you meld your mouth into his giving him all the information he needed. Your tongues danced effortlessly as his grip on your arms got stronger. You hand grazed along his arm, feeling the scar from his Kappa days that he boasted about way too often on how it made him a man. You always corrected him and said you did instead. Taking a breath, your mouths smack apart, as you nibble on his bottom lip.

“(Y/N), I don’t wanna be broken up no more.” Y’lan said hoarsely as he tries to pull you to him.

You pull away, “I don’t want to be either.” You take your shirt off completely, freeing you from your bind as you hug his neck, running your hands down his taut abdomen, decorated with signs of his manliness you adored: tufts of hair, muscles contracting under your touch. You pull from him to make your way to the back seat of the car.

Once seated, you look to Y’lan. “You always knew how to make me feel beautiful, and your touch hasn’t left me yet. No one could do it like you.” You say as you work to undo your bra, no longer were you cold from the outside weather. A flash of light illuminate the car again, allowing you to capture Y’lan’s expression more clearly as his mouth sits slightly agape, in awe, lost in your beauty.

“It’s easy to find beauty in you, no doubt. That’s why I need you to stay mine, so nobody can claim it for theirs.” Y’lan’s tone was weighed down with passion as his baritone shook your core for what was to come as he crawled to join you in the back.

The moisture that once left you chilly now fogged up the windows as you both enjoyed each other once more. His touch stoked your fire as you rediscovered one another’s pleasures. The spatters of rain were drowned out by the smacks of your kisses to one another, moaning to each other sweet nothings of bliss and eroticism. Thunder, overran by the chorus of skin slapping against one another over and over as he sent waves of pleasure over your body . You couldn’t believe you let this feeling go a while back, but you’d be damned if you made the same mistake twice.

Other Works

King Kil’mawalls

T’akia

N’Jadaka’s Helpful Hands

Some Weeks Are Better Than Others

The Coffee Prince

Commencement Day

Wakanda Got Y’all

If I Could Do It All Again

#SundaySweat

Song of Stevens

RagTag

@chaneajoyyy (i told you I’d do it!) @allhailnjadaka @afraiddreamingandloving @forbeautyandlife

I never know how to tag new fresh fics but read and pass it on!

#y'lan noel fanfic #y'lan noel x reader #y'lan noel #fanfic #shakafic #rain au

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sartrecamus2018-blog · 5 years

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2018 Review

Welcome back to the second part of my greatly anticipated 2018 Review; in part 1 we looked at my favourite film and music from this year, but now I look at all the social events that taken place this past year. It’s been a varied year to say the least but I wouldn’t really change any of it - the payoff at the end was more than worth the mediocre time before that. Before I get to my award let me have a quick look back at the year:

Firstly, the opening couple of months were still being affected by the dumpster fire of drama that came at the end of 2017, which was tiring to say the least. As soon as it seemed over something else cropped up and all the unnecessary drama began again. It took its toll on me, no way was I going to get involved in something like that again. Fortunately at this time, the band was really starting to come together, meaning I spent a lot of my time doing research on songs, and learning how to play them. That took my mind off so much and was a real help. It would be wrong of me not to mention how big of a deal the offer from Exe was, which arrived in mind March; this was my dream place, and it gave something to really aim for during study leave and revision throughout term 3. That was quite the drag to say the least, and was more or less completely forgettable apart from Eminem helping me through the most torturous of times. I owe him a lot for that. Exams finish and summer comes and I leave my humble abode to travel a few thousand miles away for a job that I didn’t get, so was left stranded for 10 weeks... Fortunately Spotify and later Netflix got me through, as did the light at the end of the tunnel - university; I must have thought about and hyped up university an incredible amount in those few months. To say I had to grind through those long weeks was an understatement, but I guess what came afterwards made up for it. The slight bump was results day which was an unqualified failure, to say I was robbed would be an understatement. I’m sure there’s a parallel world where I get in and things go swimmingly, but I wouldn’t dare trade that for what I have now. I guess it just wasn’t meant to be. After sulking for a bit I got off my arse and decided to join a little group chat for my course, commenting on someone’s post who meant nothing to be at time - how things change.I truly believe this has a huge role to play in what happened when I finally got there. I had joined an Exe group chat and had a lot of fun on that, so it was weird with all these new people; then again, I knew when to limit my perhaps less endearing qualities. That said, I started talking about how Disney films made me ball my eyes out 5 minutes into a group call, so I don’t know if I really stuck to the plan. This was the second group call, and the first one saw me being far more “cool”, or so I thought. I cannot stress enough how different things might have been if I hadn’t joined that chat, or if one of the more important members hadn’t taken a leap of faith had joined it too. The chat really kept me going through the last few weeks before we started. So we start and freshers week is a blast and totally unlike anything I had ever experienced; the freedom and the opportunity and the freshness of it all just totally blew me away. But aside from the big nights out, there were small things that really made it special - walking round campus with a couple of people from the group chat was almost surreal - I couldn’t believe I was actually there. Those two people I formed quite an attachment with over the following weeks - how can you not when you’re sharing late and wild club nights, along with the occasional kitchen-drinking-session until the early hours of the morning. One of two piccolo sessions saw a tally of cheek begin, it may have started with one person, but it ended with another running far ahead. It was magical to say the least, like properly incredible stuff; then it began to get better, suddenly going over to watch Netflix became naps together, laying in bed listening to Spotify, twirling hands in one another. Saying goodbye at 3 in morning was steadily becoming a more and more long-winded process. We both tried to suppress what we were feeling, I think, but thinking about it now, it was pretty obvious wasn’t it? There’s something remarkably special about that calm before the storm; maybe it was the emotional tension between Vince and Precious or between Vince and Howard that sealed the deal. “Do you love me?”, hmm, “Can you learn to love me?”, I’d like that. Then on the most expected of nights - the visiting of one ELF - things were sealed. But first, maybe it was her endearing qualities that made me think that I’d quite like this family, or her reckless attitude that sort of worn off on me, and made go do what I did. I’ve now complimented her than the actual subject of this, so let me tell you what I was in for: someone who is, above all, her own person and won’t ever change that. She can be snarky and teasing, but ultimately has the most caring and loving heart; her interests are so very much her, whether it be the somewhat childish indulgences of one particular franchise, or truly challenging music. She is honestly the most full and fascinating person I have come across, who still manages to surprise me. I’m going to have fun trying to figure her out for however long I’m allowed.

Okay that was a tangent haha... oh dear. Anyways! So that Thursday, well what more needs to be said other than it went above the magic of the previous month to a level that’s really only been achieved once before. It was proper 0 AD, starting point, life-begins-here kind of stuff, the kind of which I’m feel so privileged to experience. So in the early hours of the morning, outside on a picnic field our outsides were freezing but inside I don’t think I’ve ever been filled with so much warmth. The circumstances may have not been perfect, but the moment was, and gosh I wish that conversation was written down, because I think it might be the most beautiful conversation I’ve been involved. Goosebumps just thinking about it. When we released her looked at each other again, she looked remarkably different. The rest of the night was just perfect - no sleep, and getting to spend it with her tired and confused but feeling more emotion than I had for a very, very long time. It’s a night I’m going to tell the story of for a long, long time to come. Best night of my life? Yeah go on, what’s to lose. ❤

Two and a bit months on from that... woah hold there, let’s take it slow.

So November comes and wow that I don’t think I’ve spent more time with anyone in one period of time. But I’m not complaining, anything but. I can gladly say I’ve shed all of my “firsts” in the month. The first kiss was a bit of a disaster really, but I’ll take it, the emotion and need was pretty incredible. We became a lot better at it, to be fair. Some things started off really well, and well, have only managed to get better and better. A lot of the nights were just spent with Netflix and Spotify and some food and I wouldn’t dare ask for more. It may sound somewhat basic, but those nights will always be the best, and we had a lot of them. There were a couple of more adventurous nights; the Yule Ball, for one, was like the prom I never had, and the kisses in the middle of this grand old building were nothing short of perfect. McDonald's and Subway dates were also a real highlight. November rolls into December and, writing this now, I’m beginning to find it hard to distinguish one perfect night from the next - not a complaint, once again. The final week becomes the final night, and with the help of Billy Mack and co. made it a genuinely perfect night. that ended with us asleep in each others arms. It was beyond beautiful.

When we reunite we would have been apart for four weeks.

I’m here on the final might of this frankly awful period of my life having caused so much unnecessary anxiety and stress for me and her. I don’t know whether I deserve to even post this now, or tell her how I can’t live without her. I hate what I’ve done to her, and there will come a time when I’m sure she gets sick of it. There was the night at the hill, the message when she went to get back her tattoo the first time, and now several times where I’ve hidden something from her. I want to promise her I can change, but it hurts every time I break that promise. I hope this is just the blues at the beginning of any relationship, when we’re still getting to grips with what it is like to have someone else to care for, someone else who needs you and relies on you. I’ve never had that before, maybe that’s why I’m so bad at it. Anyone else would have run away by now, I know it, and I almost want to encourage it, for her sake. But if this is the lowest point then I’ll take that, because that means we can only go up from here. I want to do that with her, desperately, and it’s selfish of me to ask for that, I know, because I don’t deserve it. She believes she’s a pain but she really isn’t, she’s totally committed, always honest, and while those gut punches may hurt, that fades and I’m left laughing. I don’t dare laugh in this situation. Of all people, she deserves to be treated the best, and I can honestly say I haven’t done that. I feel guilty, I feel I might be abusing her trust, and I feel like I’m wasting this incredible opportunity. We need a code-word for when I’m not feeling great, like “Kid A” or something.

And now it’s the final night before I return and despite this being the like quite frankly and awful day; I just hope that we can move on from this whole thing. However the reunion happens it’ll be perfect one way or another, and then this will all fade into a distant memory. I know laying with you again will be indescribable.

I’m sorry, I love you.

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winchesterenthusiast · 7 years

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Hurt

A Dean’s POV / angst

A/N: This fic is based on the song ‘Hurt’ by the one and only Johnny Cash. I am a huuuuge fan of his and this is one of my favorite songs in the entire world. When I first started watching Supernatural, I always said this song was written for Dean’s character. I always wanted to write a fic based off of it but never had the guts. Well thanks to @thing-you-do-with-that-thing‘s SPN Anti-Valentine’s Day Challenge [x] I was able to do so. I hope you like it. Let me know what you think!

Word Count: 1,496

Warnings: - language. - alcoholism. - talks of suicide.

Tags: (at the end)

*gif is not mine.

I fucked everything up. I’m man enough to admit that. It seems to be a vicious cycle that I throw myself into, a whirring tornado of crap that I can’t climb out of.

Drinking has been my escape for as long as I can remember. Sad? Drink a beer. Depressed? Shot of whiskey will make you forget. Mad? Drink a beer and down a shot straight from the bottle, then punch something. Punch it hard. As much as I hate to admit it, my bad habits are what drove her away, and for that, I’ll never forgive myself.

Even Sam isn’t acting the same around me now. Whenever he sees me with a beer in my hand he just shakes his head. He can talk my damn ear off and I’ll never listen, not when it comes to the bottle in my hand. He’s on her side, and I honestly can’t blame him for that. I know he cares about me and he knows I care about him too, but sometimes i just wish he’d be on my side, no matter what I’ve done.

I don’t really feel much, not anymore. Well, as Sam would say, I don’t allow myself to feel, but that’s like the pot calling the kettle black. I mean, he’s not totally wrong. I do avoid it at all costs, but it’s only to prevent myself from hurting in the long run. It’s inevitable, especially with our profession. So, in order to stem those… feelings, I turn to booze.

When I met her though, I didn’t need it. I stopped drinking. I allowed myself to feel, to open up, to love someone other than my family. She made me happy, more happy than alcohol ever did or ever has since. But when she left, that old familiar sting hit me in the gut like the butt of a gun. Drinking doesn’t stop me from thinking about what I’ve done and how badly I’ve fucked up, it stops me from thinking about her face when she walked into that motel room and saw what I’d done; about how badly I hurt her, and how I can’t take it back. It’s all I can focus on when I’m sober, the pain I’ve caused her. As much as I try to forget, even smashed out of my mind, I remember everything.

I hadn’t touched a drop of alcohol after we actually became a real… thing. It was one of her stipulations, which I completely agreed with. I was angry, mean, and uncontrollable when I was drunk. Not to mention it was affecting my job, and she stayed up some nights wondering if I was going to be okay to hunt; if I would come home the next morning in one piece. I hated seeing her worry about me. It’s not something I’m used to. But man, I can’t lie and say it didn’t feel good to be wanted for once, to have someone who cared about me on a different level than my brother.

I cheated on her. I cheated on the one person who loved me for me, baggage and scars included. I don’t even remember the act, or how it even happened, except that I got blackout drunk at a bar scoping out a local case. I thought one would be okay, just one shot of whiskey to calm my nerves. But one turned into two, and two turned into four, and then I was bangin’ the bartender with fake tits the size of bowling balls apparently. I don’t remember this. All I remember is her walking into the motel room and seeing me in bed with the bartender. I remember her expression of pain and the tears in her eyes. I don’t even remember the bartender’s name.

I haven’t seen her since our argument in the Bunker; the night she took all of her things and left for good. I don’t know where she is, or if she’ll ever come back. I want her to hear me out, to let me apologize, but I don’t feel like I’m worthy of her forgiveness. She fought tooth and nail for our relationship to work in the first place, and I let her down. I hurt her when I promised I never would. She’s one of the toughest women I’ve ever met, but when it came to me, I was her weakness. I took advantage of her and for that, I hate myself.

I kept the hairpin she gave to me before she left. It’s shiny silver with purple rhinestones and lace detail along the stem. She used to pin up her hair with it when she was thinking. This was typical of her though, always thinking about me even after the horrible shit I did to her. Her selflessness was one of the many reasons why I fell so hard for her. She wasn’t just a normal chick looking for a score; she was perfect and she was mine. She wanted what was best for us, not just herself.

The hairpin sits on my end table next to my bed. It’s the first thing I see in the morning when I wake up, and it’s the last thing I see at night before I fall asleep; if I fall asleep. Sometimes, I poke my finger with it, to see if I still feel. Everything is numb these days. But mostly, I poke myself hoping I’ll wake up from this nightmare, and she’ll be back in my bed again with a lore book in her lap, helping me with a case. To me, that’s when she was the most beautiful.

“Keep this,” she’d said through tears, her hands shaking as she handed it to me. I couldn’t even form words as I watched her, and there was so much I wanted to say. I was drunk of course, and she knew I was. All I wanted to do was take her in my arms and tell her how much she meant to me, but I didn’t. “As a reminder of how much I loved you.”

Loved; past tense. Still hits me like a ton of bricks every time I think about that moment. Sam seems to think that she didn’t use it in the right context, that there’s even a slight possibility that she might still love me. But I don’t believe it. I destroyed her, I could see it in her face. If she did to me what I did to her, I don’t know if I could ever forgive her. I boast about how important trust is and loyalty, and then I go and wreck everything I took so long to build with the woman of my dreams.

I can remember the first time I saw her. She was glowing. There was an aura around her I couldn’t ignore. When she served me that first drink at the bar, I was hooked. She took care of me, made sure I got back to the motel safe, and she was with us ever since. I sucked her into our life, even though I swore I’d never do that to anyone, but I couldn’t help it. She was the flame and I was the moth; instinctively attracted to her in every way.

I wish I would’ve told her how I really felt about her before she left; how I loved to watch her smile in her sleep, how her laugh tickled my soul. But I’ll never have that chance again, because the bottle in my hand was more important.

Everyone I know goes away in the end. I know that now. Dad is gone, Mom is gone, soon Sam will be gone and maybe even Cas too. I’ll outlive them all, because the world spins to torture me that way.

If I could I would leave her everything; this empire of dirt that Sam and I have created, all the money we’ve saved from hustling and gambling. But I won’t. I know she’d never take it. Instead I’ll do what I do best, drink my problems away and let everyone I love down.

I hope that his bottle will be my last. Hell, every bottle I’ve downed since she left I hope is my last. But that sweet release never comes. Because a life without her isn’t a life at all. Living with the fact that I’ve hurt her is more painful than any injury on the job, any death I’ve had to go through. I’d go through hell and back ten times over, if it meant I could have her back.

Y/N, if you ever read this, please know I loved you with all my heart. You were my light, everything I ever wanted to be. I want you to know that even now, I would do anything for you, even if you do hate me. But don’t take me back. Please, just don’t. No matter what, I will let you down. I will make you hurt.

@balthazars-muse @manawhaat @kayteonline @deansdirtylittlesecretsblog @winchester-writes @mamapeterson @salvachester @rizlow1 @purgatoan @sis-tafics @eyes-of-a-disney-princess @torn-and-frayed @winchestersnco @callmesweetheartifyoumeanit @aprofoundbondwithdean @mrswhozeewhatsis @sandlee44 @autopistaaningunaparte @16wiishes @starswirlblitz @ashleychinrock @evansrogerskitten @lovebelievelive97 @xtina2191 @findingfitnessforme @captainradicalpassion @when-the-day–met-the-night @buckysmetallicstump @my-supernatural-dreams @betterlattethennever

*Tags are open!

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vam9ire · 7 years

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Can I be an ass and say all the musical asks?? If not, just the ones you really want to do.

💖 um yeah you can!!! i didn’t answer a few tho

1. A Song you’re ashamed of liking

honestly i know i have several, but i can’t remember. i’ve been listening to monster by kanye west i guess?

2. Favourite lyrics

i have so many,, so here’s a few off the top of my head

“crawl on me, sink into me, die for me, living dead girl” - living dead girl by rob zombie

“don’t believe in the up, i believe in the dirt, don’t ask me why, ask me why not, no one really knows, why they are alive, until they know what they would die for” - let’s all die - sharon needles

“i asked you why people die, you said we all had a design” - all those friendly people - funeral suits

3. Favourite band/artist

mindless self indulgence or marilyn manson

4. Top 5 Favourite songs at this moment

these are the songs i’ve been listening to constantly lately,

midway - bad bad hats, high enough - k. flay, wonderland - caravan palace, pathos - au palais, life itself - glass animals

5. Latest song that made you smile

mmm i think bad and boujee because my mom and i were in the car imitating the noises

6. An overrated band

twenty one pilots i suppose

7. An overrated song

uptown funk

8. Latest song that made you cry

simple and clean - utada hikaru rip me

9. Artist/band that saved your life

probably los campesinos!

10. If you could see any band/artist live, who would it be

msi !!

11. What song/album/band/artist always brings back memories for you

maybe probably korn because they make me think about my childhood and my dad. also tech n9ne because my mom loves him.

12. saddest song you know

hate for the island or the sea is a good place to think about the future, both by los campesinos!

13. Favourite song to sing in the shower

i don’t ever remember what i sing in the shower. mostly musical soundtracks or adore delano.

14. If you played an instrument in grade school, what was it

i have the musical inclinations of a butter knife, so i never played any instruments in school rip

15. What song would you like to have your first dance to at your wedding

i don’t plan on getting married, but

16. 5 Songs to have sex to

omg

la petite mort - violet chachki, often - the weeknd, desire - meg myers ( hucci remix ), after party - adore delano, two more minutes - jaymes young

18. You’re forced to listen to only one album for the rest of your life, what album is it

pink - msi

21. A song that’s a joke between you and your friends

panda - desiigner

22. A song to jam out to at 4am

the entire repo! soundtrack

23. A song that punches you in the gut every single time

paper scars - lovedrug has been a song that makes me so sad for years now. also heart swells/100-1 - los campesinos!

24. A song that calms you down

recently I - foreign fields !! and any TEED song, like garden

25. A song that makes you feel alive

lawn knives - born gold, marquis marq - stepdad

26. If you could get any lyrics tattooed, which would you choose

so i’ve been planning on getting “a heart of stone, rind so tough it’s crazy, that’s why they call me the avocado, baby” tattooed on me for a year now

27. What band/artist would you get your children addicted to at an early age

passion pit because they’re fun to listen to and their lyrics are neat

28. Can you play any instruments, if so, which

i tried to play the drums once rip

29. If you could be a member of any band for one show, who would it be

jimmy urine or twiggy ramirez in one of the older manson shows, like on the guns god and government tour.

30. CDs or Vinyls

cds!!! i love collecting cds!!!

31. 25 songs to play at your funeral

lmao i’m just gonna play the 60s batman theme and then my body is gonna be thrown into space

32. What are some song titles that you love

i just sighed. i just sighed just so you know - los campesinos!

34. Can you give me a 10 song playlist on ____

if you give me a topic i could

35. A heart wrenching song

the killing type - amanda palmer or saturn - sleeping at last

36. A band/artist you’re proud of

alaska thunderfuck

37. A song that has a lot of meaning to you

too many my dude

38. A song that reminds you of school

fuckin the cupid shuffle my dude

39. A song not sung in your native language

Dernière Danse - Indila

40. An instrumental song

the traverse town theme from kingdom hearts ddd

41. A classical song

i don’t listen to classical tbh

42. A song with no percussion

maybe i love you like an alcoholic - the taxpayers?

43. Something you’ve heard performed live

antichrist superstar - marilyn manson

45. A song from a band/artist that’s from your town/city/state/province

3oh!3 is from denver i think

46. A song made suddenly precious because of a special someone

instead of a song I’m gonna say the band sleeping at last because of you 💖

47. A song made suddenly painful because of someone special

idk if it counts but jukebox hero by foreigner makes me think of my dad and i can’t listen to it or i’ll start sobbing lmao

50. A song that you would rock at karaoke

tell it to my heart - taylor dayne lmao

51. A song you can’t help but dance to

household goods - totally enormous extinct dinosaurs

53. Your 10 song stripper playlist

i only have 5 atm, dtf - adore delano, show off - violet chachki, for your entertainment - adam lambert, if u seek amy - britney spears, party monster - the weeknd

54. Favourite Disney song

mmmm something from mulan

55. A song that starts with the first letter of your name

everybody wants to rule the world - tears for fears and tormentor - skinny puppy

56. A song from an artist still alive

seven wonders - stevie nicks

57. A song from an artist who’s dead

i don’t wanna be me - type o negative or brand new lover - dead or alive

59. A song you love with a colour in the title

progress indigo - dear hunter

60. A song you love with a number in the title

3 libras - a perfect circle

61. A song that reminds you of someone you would rather forget about

white lie - jhameel, walking backwards - leagues

62. A song that needs to be played LOUD

most msi songs, but i’ll say shut me up

63. A song that makes you think about life

tree of life - funeral suits or cake and sodomy - marilyn manson

64. 15 Songs that get stuck in your head easily

fuck,, life is a highway

65. A song that you think everyone should listen to

i eat ass - filthy frank

66. A song that makes you want to fall in love

i wanna boi - pwr bttm, not in love - crystal castles

67. A song that makes you think about ‘him/her’

cutie boots - stepdad, heart swells - los campesinos!, nobody loves me like you - low roar

also most sleeping at last songs

68. A song that you remember from your childhood

dig - mudvayne because my parents used to play it when i was younger and it would calm me down lmao

69. A song that reminds you of you

dramamine - modest mouse, rebel rebel - david bowie, king - years and years

#asks

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crackling-dab · 7 years

Text

Got tagged by @narsetsdisciple

1. COKE OR PEPSI: Root Beer 2. DISNEY OR DREAMWORKS: Both 3. COFFEE OR TEA: Not like a die hard coffe drinker but can’t stand tea 4. BOOKS OR MOVIES: Books. I mean I tend to have a hard time focusing on either but there’s something special about books.

5. WINDOWS OR MAC: Windows 6. DC OR MARVEL: DC. Marvel is cool but Batman and The Flash give DC the edge for me. 7. XBOX OR PLAYSTATION: XBOX. REally I’m a die hard PC gamer but I have a 360 so that I can play Halo, which is a favorite of mine. 8. DRAGON AGE OR MASS EFFECT: Mass Effect, but I haven’t played any DA games yet 9. NIGHT OWL OR EARLY RISER: Both and also neither. I stay up late and wake up early and am always tired and never properly functional. 10. CARDS OR CHESS: Cards, more variety and easier portability. 11. CHOCOLATE OR VANILLA: Chocolate 12. VANS OR CONVERSE: Converse. Used to be a fan of Vans back in my Skater wannabe days (Middle School; I never even learned to skate lol) but I just got my first couple pairs of Converse and I love them 13. LAVELLAN, TREVELYAN, CADASH, OR ADAAR: N/A 14. FLUFF OR ANGST: Ooh, uh, it depends on my mood. 15. BEACH OR FOREST: Forest. I’m not a fan of the ocean, and I love trees, especially climable ones. 16. DOGS OR CATS: dogs 17. CLEAR SKIES OR RAIN: If I’ve gotta go outside then clear skies, I hate being rained on. Rain is nice for feeling cozy indoors though. 18. COOKING OR EATING OUT: 19. SPICY OR MILD FOOD: Mild. I’m fairly solid evidence of the White People can’t handle spicy stereotype.

20. HALLOWEEN/SAMHAIN OR SOLSTICE/YULE/CHRISTMAS/HANNUKAH: Hannukah. I’ve never really gotten into Halloween. 21. WOULD YOU RATHER FOREVER BE A LITTLE TOO COLD OR A LITTLE TOO HOT: Cold I think. If it's just a little, I think I can handle it and I’d rather not be sweating all over the place. 22. IF YOU COULD HAVE A SUPERPOWER WHAT WOULD IT BE: Let’s go with flight. My longest standing choice of the three or four I have in mind. 23. ANIMATION OR LIVE ACTION: Animation. 24. PARAGON OR RENEGADE: Paragon. 25. BATH OR SHOWER: Shower tbh. Like, a bath is nice but most bathtubs I have access to don’t work for me, since I’m six feet tall. Also, I take a long time and baths tend to lose their heat while showers are a constant stream of hot water. 26. TEAM CAP OR TEAM IRONMAN: Team Cap. I don’t know the issue super intimately, but my gut says Cap. 27. FANTASY OR SCI-FI: Can’t pick, they’re equally awesome. 28. DO YOU HAVE 3 OR 4 FAVORITE QUOTES IF SO WHAT ARE THEY:

I have many, many favorite quotes but also a horrible memory so I can never remember them so I’ll just stick a few that I enjoy here:

“Rice is the perfect comfort food” - The chef hero in My Hero Academia

“I welcome adversity” - Zenyatta

“If the heroes run and hide, who will stay and fight?” - Saitama

29. YOUTUBE OR NETFLIX: This is an odd question, cause for me they serve unrelated purposes. I use youtube to watch tutorials, listen to music, and watch other non-film materials, while Netflix is specifically for TV-shows/Movies, so idk? I use youtube way more though so that one I guess 30. HARRY POTTER OR PERCY JACKSON: Percy Jackson. Harry Potter was good, but Rick Riordan is a genius and I love all of his books. 32. STAR WARS OR STAR TREK: Star Wars. Star Trek isn’t bad but I haven’t watched a whole lot, and I’ve been deeply invested in Star Wars since childhood. 33. PAPERBACK BOOKS OR HARDCOVER BOOKS: Idk honestly both are good 34. FANTASTIC BEASTS OR CURSED CHILD: I have little to no interest in commercial material related to Harry Potter other than the original 7 books, so neither. 35. ROCK OR POP MUSIC: Rock 36. WHAT IS THE MOST IMPORTANT THING IN YOUR LIFE: I don’t honestly know. 37. THE LAST BOOK YOU READ/THE ONE YOU’RE CURRENTLY READING: I think the last book I read was the first Trials of Apollo. 38: SONG THAT MAKES YOU SMILE/SONG THAT MAKES YOU CRY: Baba Yetu has the best track record for making me smile. It’s Quiet Uptown is good at leaving me in tears, provided I have any when I’m listening to it. 39. SUSHI OR WONTON SOUP: SUSHI. I fucking love sushi. So much. Oh my god. 40. SPRING OR AUTUMN: Spring 41. DRAWING OR WRITING: Writing, because I’m better at it. 42. SINGING OR DANCING: Dancing. I’m terrible at both but I can dance in private and no one has to know but singing tends to draw attention. Unless I’m driving then both are good.

43. TV SHOW/MOVIE/BOOK THAT’S LIKE YOUR HAPPY PLACE, SOMETHING THAT ALWAYS MAKES YOU SMILE: The LotR films (as I was reminded of earlier tonight), One Punch Man is oddly therapeutic for me, FMA Brotherhood maybe? 44. FIRST GOOD CHILDHOOD MEMORY THAT POPS INTO YOUR HEAD: My first dog growing up. He was a golden lab named Joshua.

45. If you could be any animal what would you be and why?: Either a dog or a bird. Dogs are wonderful and birds can fly.

46. What’s the best joke you’ve ever heard:

Frodo: Don’t worry Sam, Rosie knows an idiot when she sees one.

Sam, with a great amount of concern: Does she?

(Ok to be fair I don’t know if that’s the greatest joke I’ve ever heard, but I just watched that so it’s on my mind)

47. Favourite magical element: Lightning, or if that doesn’t count, then Air.

Tagging @yawgmoth-lord-of-sin, @vajra-furor, @morealivethanvenser, @pseudowolf69, @tir0, and like anyone else who wants to do it!

#about me

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the-most-phenomenal-banana · 6 years

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Do ALL the questions :D

1. A Song you’re ashamed of liking - everything I listen to 2. Favourite lyrics - "Someday, I hope to make it clear to you that success is not determined by leather-bound books and ink on paper, but rather the passion that I have found out of heartbreak and anger. I know that happiness is stability, but stability is not a desk job, and I refuse to sacrifice my aspirations for an income and security. What the hell is "security"?" -Ninteen by Movements3. Favourite band/artist - either Green Day, TØP, or Movements4. Top 5 Favourite songs at this moment - Georgia by Vance Joy - Bleecker St. by Namoli Brennet (literally such an amazing song it's about the lgbt rights movement and I can't listen to it without crying) - Poison Pen Letter by Neck Deep - 19 Seventy Somethin' by Neck Deep (I guess I have a thing for songs that make me cry) - If The Brakeman Turns My Way - Bright Eyes5. Latest song that made you smile - I Will Follow You In To The Dark6. An overrated band - Panic!7. An overrated song - wonderwall but not bc it's a bad song I fucking love it but Oasis has so many other amazing songs and somehow the only thing anyone knows is wonderwall8. Latest song that made you cry - Still Breathing by Green Day9. Artist/band that saved your life - TØP / PTV10. If you could see any band/artist live, who would it be - Pink Floyd 11. What song/album/band/artist always brings back memories for you - Anything I covered with my first band always makes me think of them and tbh I really fucking miss that band12. saddest song you know - Bleecker St. 13. Favourite song to sing in the shower - literally anything by GD14. If you played an instrument in grade school, what was it - I played piano when I was really young then started guitar when I was 1215. What song would you like to have your first dance to at your wedding - Depends who I'm getting married to, I would want it to be something that's important to both of us. 16. 5 Songs to have sex to - something off this playlist probably: https://open.spotify.com/user/ebeigh/playlist/0scXYrvo0q4ERQbxx2VMnR?si=B6o4ryKmRSmiYLRC9uUVfw17. One band you’d have get back together/bring back from the dead - if I don't say MCR I'd probably be committing a crime of some sort18. You’re forced to listen to only one album for the rest of your life, what album is it - Nimrod by GD19. A song that gets you through shit - fuck idk man 20. A song to shut everything out - The Dolphin's Cry by Live21. A song that’s a joke between you and your friends - what friends??22. A song to jam out to at 4am - (see the playlist from 16)23. A song that punches you in the gut every single time - the dolphin's cry by live of when you were young by the killers24. A song that calms you down - something off For Emma Forever Ago by Bon Iver25. A song that makes you feel alive - Let's dance to Joy Division by The Wombats26. If you could get any lyrics tattooed, which would you choose - I would deadass consider "God bless your transexual heart" because of everything that Against Me! has gotten me through and how laura was so important to me when I was coming to terms with my gender. 27. What band/artist would you get your children addicted to at an early age - green day28. Can you play any instruments, if so, which - guitar, bass, uke, and I know a good bit about software instruments and music synthesis29. If you could be a member of any band for one show, who would it be30. CDs or Vinyls 31. 25 songs to play at your funeral - https://open.spotify.com/user/ebeigh/playlist/3xpb9TivQJGYxE96Sim3IQ?si=bZ12QW4ERUa2xNXEtCWxhA32. What are some song titles that you love - fuckmylife666 - (Joe gets kicked out of school for using) drugs with friends (but says this isn't a problem) - fuck every cop (who ever did his job)33. If your life ended today, what song would you choose to represent it - Shit Luck by modest Mouse34. Can you give me a 10 song playlist on ____ - yes35. A heart wrenching song - Bruised by Jack's Mannuquin36. A band/artist you’re proud of - Julie bc she's the most amazing musician ever and I love her sm37. A song that has a lot of meaning to you - The Ocean by Against Me!38. A song that reminds you of school - none of them I try not to think about that39. A song not sung in your native language - bitch who tf do you think I am???40. An instrumental song - Several Species of Small Furry Animals Gathered in a Cave and Grooving With a Pict (okay only kinda instrumental but fuck you)41. A classical song - Mozart was a bitch and now he's dead42. A song with no percussion - Urine Speaks Louder than Words by Wignut Dishwashers Union43. Something you’ve heard performed live - a lot of things but uhhhh Ocean Avenue by Yellowcard44. Something you’d give ANYTHING to hear performed live - mcr probably???45. A song from a band/artist that’s from your town/city/state/province - Lightning Crashes by Live46. A song made suddenly precious because of a special someone - Lua by Bright Eyes47. A song made suddenly painful because of someone special - bitch idk I'm not a resentful piece of shit48. A song that demands lip syncing and a makeshift microphone - ?????????49. A song from a band/artist you met/know - Tie The Sheets We're Going Out The Window by The Residence50. A song that you would rock at karaoke - africa by toto51. A song you can’t help but dance to - I can't dance52. A song that makes you want to dance on a table - idfk man I just wanna be done with this53. Your 10 song striper playlist - just africa 10 times in a row54. Favourite Disney song - walt disney was a bitch and now he's dead fuck him55. A song that starts with the first letter of your name - Nova by The Fallen State56. A song from an artist still alive - nobody is alive we all died in 2012 57. A song from an artist who’s dead - all of them58. A song you love by an artist/band you hate - any of my original music59. A song you love with a colour in the title - Dark Blue by Jack's Mannequin60. A song you love with a number in the title - 1979 by The Smashing Pumpkins61. A song that reminds you of someone you would rather forget about - uhhh there's nobody I really want to forget about??62. A song that needs to be played LOUD - all of them63. A song that makes you think about life - I try my best not to think about life64. 15 Songs that get suck in your head easily - Mr. Brightside 65. A song that you think everyone should listen to - Sitting Waiting Wishing by Jack Johnson66. A song that makes you want to fall in love - I already am in love so see 6767. A song that makes you think about ‘him/her’ - Love at First Sight by The Brobecks68. A song that you remember from your childhood - Jack and Dianne by John Melloncamp69. A song that reminds you of you70. Okay what’s the real answer to number 1 - none of them

#asked and answered #Anonymous

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furederiko · 7 years

Photo

I knew I've doubted whether I'll be able to pull this off... but here it is! My thoughts on the 89th Academy Award Nominations that had just been announced two days ago...

For unknown reasons, unlike the previous years, the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences apparently decided not to publish the Nominations Announcement on Youtube. Instead, they've published short videos for all 24 categories containing all the chosen names instead. You can check those out through their official Youtube channel (filtered by 'Oscars 2017'). Of course, the event was still streamed globally on their own website, so I guess that's the primary reason. Nevertheless, this was... surprising, to be honest. I mean, I usually could see it at a later time anytime I want (due to the difference of time zone), but now it's no longer possible. And that's a bummer for me.

Okay, now that that's out of the way, let's address the other elephant in the room! #OscarsSoWhite NO MORE! Yep, after two consecutive years of mostly sidelining people of colors, this year's list is exceptionally good. I mean, many people are singing praises for the picks. I think this is the first time (to my personal experience, of course) that we even have POC's representatives in each of the 6 major categories. We have director Barry Jenkins for his critically acclaimed "Moonlight", that also scored a Best Picture nominee alongside non-white movies like "Fences", "Hidden Figures", and "Lion". On the acting departments, we have African-American actors Denzel Washington, Mahershala Ali, and actresses Viola Davis, Naomie Harris, and Octavia Spencer. They are joined with Indian-British actor Dev Patel, and Ethiopian-Irish actress Ruth Negga, in both of their first-time nominations.

Sure, you might say that we don't see any Hispanic or East Asian names among them. But remember! The Japanese tale of LAIKA's "Kubo and the Two Strings", the Polynesian girl's coming-of-age story of Disney Animations' "Moana", and Studio Ghibli's co-produced "The Red Turtle" are all vying for Best Animated Feature! Obviously, those are solid proof that the Academy is moving on the right direction, right? Sure, the diversity and equality-themed movie "Zootopia" has the highest chance to be the winner in this category, but at least we have representatives in form of cultures, story-setting, alongside its production staffs, right? And lest we forget, Hong Kong very own martial artist/actor Jackie Chan has accepted one of The Honorary Awards of the year!

Wait a sec. Now that I observe more closer, there ARE hispanic representatives too! But these folks are spreaded out in other, more-technical categories. One name that easily stands out the most would be Lin-Manuel Miranda! His inspiring and powerful ballad "How Far I'll Go" from Moana is vying for the Best Original Song. I have to admit though, I doubt it'll stand a chance against the strong competitions from both "Audition (The Fools Who Dream)", and "City of Stars". That's because both arrived from the same team of Justin Hurwitz , Benj Pasek and Justin Paul, and were featured in the musical that has practically stolen everyone's heart.

YES! Talking about the nominees, it would be completely rude to not mention "La La Land". Damien Chazelle masterpiece has scored a record-tying fourteen nominations, putting it alongside the likes of "All About Eve" and "Titanic". Although it's not yet a sure bet, but the chance of this musical to walk away as the Best Picture winner is pretty high. Especially if recent Awards were any indications. At the very least, it would easily win all those Sound categories. I'm punching myself everyday because I still haven't been able to see this movie (and for a musical fan, that's saying much!), so I can't tell if it's Best Picture worthy or not. But the signs are certainly already leading towards this delightful conclusion. Unless we get a surprise upset win, of course. After all, the other titles are nothing but greatness. According to professional critics.

Two comic book adaptations put their stamps on the list. After being completely left out last year, Marvel Studios has returned with its visual dazzler "Doctor Strange" on the Best Visual Effects Category. Considering it's one of the most visually engaging movie of 2016, this is a well deserved nomination. Of course, the chance of it winning against either Disney's pure movie-magic that is "The Jungle Book", and even LAIKA's gorgeous stop-motion works in "Kubo and the Two Strings", is... rather slim. Don't get me wrong, all three were among my 10 Favorite Movies of the year. But if you ask me, as much as my Marvel-bias wants the Master of Mystic Arts to win, it's clear that Disney's live action photo-realism wonder (which was also helmed by a Marvel Studios director/producer, and starred many of its actors, in case you've forgotten) has practically booked the top prize since the day it was released. I don't see much of a competition, to be honest.

As for the other comic book movie, well... though it annoys the hell out of me to say this, Warner Bros' boring, bland, and excessively-cheesy "Suicide Squad" can pride its ugly-self as an Oscars nominee now. Eventhough the fact that it gets mentioned for Best Makeup and Hairstyling would never ever justify for its... uhhh... quality. Assuming it had one, of course. I mean seriously, that movie was BAD, like lousy bad, and I'm simply being nice here! I personally believe Warner Bros' "Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them" deserves this spot a lot better, making it a pair to its Best Costume chance. Rogue One: A Star Wars Story should've been here too, instead on the Visual Effects section. But surprisingly too, there are only THREE nominees in this particular list! So "Suicide Squad"'s chance of winning just become annoyingly high. Which is good for them, because they... well, need the good publicity of it. Of course, whether it or "Star Trek Beyond" will come out as the winner or not, is still anyone's guess. After all, even "Guardians of the Galaxy" didn't win the same category back in 2015. I guess I'll be choosing "Star Trek Beyond" for my personal pick, though there's a possibility I might end up leaning towards "A Man Called Ove" instead. Not sure why, just a gut feeling.

Still in the topics of comic book adaptations, it's worth noted, that we have several superhero alumns on the list this year. Ruth Negga played Raina on the first two seasons of Marvel's "Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.", while Mahershala Ali played Cornell Cottonmouth in Netflix's Marvel's "Luke Cage". Both are great examples of how Marvel TV loves to waste the talents of their actors by killing their characters too early. I mean, just imagine the prestige the two would carry to the shows had they are still among the cast. Am I right? Ironically, the same goes for both Andrew Garfield and Emma Stone, our previous Peter Parker and Gwen Stacy from SONY's ill-fated "Amazing Spider-Man" franchise. Now they are sitting there as Best Actor and Best Actress nominees! Looks like being dropped from their superhero flicks has turned the tide for them both... for the better! Other names on this list includes Jeff Bridges, Michael Shannon, Natalie Portman, and Viola Davis who played Obadiah Stane, General Zod, Jane Foster, and Amanda Waller respectively before. It would be unfair to not mention them, right?

Inevitably, this announcement is also accompanied with startling snubs. No surprise here, because it occurs every single year. One of the most-talked about title that seemingly had made everyone cried foul is none other than FOX's "Deadpool". If you ask me, I'm personally more startled to see the reactions instead. I mean, come on... yes, that movie WAS indeed fun, but was it Oscar-worthy or Academy Awards-material? Definitely NOT. I'm frankly even surprised to see it popping up so strongly at the Golden Globes. I'd argue the same thing with Marvel Studios' "Captain America: Civil War". Was that movie great? YES. Leagues better than "Deadpool" in its entirety, and better in storytelling compared to its cousin "Doctor Strange". But even "Civil War" was also definitely not an Academy Award material. At least, it didn't have the edge that "Doctor Strange" and its Escher-like Steve Ditko-inspired kaleidoscopic mesmerizing visuals could champion with. And don't start to argue with 'But even a worse movie like "Suicide Squad" gets one', because shhhhh.... remember what's category it's in again?

The ones that I think are valids to be considered actual snubs, are actress Amy Adams, actor Tom Hanks, and director Martin Scorsese. Many had stated that Adams gave her most stellar performances in not one, but two movies last year: "Arrival" which scored eight nominations that's not related to acting, and "Nocturnal Animals" which only get one nomination for Best Supporting Actor. Meanwhile, Hanks, has been called a frontrunner many times with his performance in "Sully". A movie that's vying in only for Best Sound Editing. And Scorsese, his "Silence" felt like an Award contender from the get-go, but only received a Best Cinematography nomination for Rodrigo Prieto's work. All three names are what we all called 'Oscar Darlings', having been easy regulars on Award's circuit. So not seeing these names was indeed quite a shock. Apart from them, some minor snubs also include: Jake Gyllenhall's performance on "Nocturnal Animals", although this charming actor hasn't been on the Award race for such a long time now; Aaron Taylor-Johnson, who actually WON a Golden Globe for Supporting Actor in the same movie; Disney Pixar's "Finding Dory", eventhough they won last year with "Inside Out"; and certainly several others that slips my mind for now.

One last thing before I wrap this up. I just had to mention The 37th Raspberry Awards or the Razzies! I don't know why, but many entertainment sites seems to be ignoring if not looking down on this Reverse-Awards that honored the Worst Movies of the year. This year in particular. Many outlets seems to just... refuse to talk about it, especially comic books fansites. Why is that? If I had to guess, the answer would be simple. Because one of the year's biggest nomination-grabber is none other than Warner Bros and everyone's 'favorite' "Batman v. Superman: Dawn of Justice". I recon no sites would want to be attacked by death-threats by simply posting the news, right? LOL. Yes, the so-called 'superhero fight of the century' is leading the pack, albeit sharing the first place alongside Zoolander 2 with eight nominations each.

Come on! One would think that a movie that put together DC's greatest superheroes like Batman, Superman, and featured a glorified cameo of Wonder Woman would've been an easy success, right? Well, looks like we were fooled to even expect that result. Not only it was panned by almost every critics, booed and yawned by many audiences (yours truly included), it has now been severely Razzied as well! DC Films' supposedly grandiose movie extravaganza that made many shook their heads in either instant-awe or apparent-disgust scored the nominations for: Worst Picture, Worst Director for Zack Snyder, TWO Worst Actor nominations for both Ben Affleck and Henry Cavill, Worst Supporting Actor for Jesse Eisenberg, Worst Screen Combo (yes, between the two actors), Worst Prequel/Remake/Rip-off/Sequel, and Worst Screenplay for the guys who wrote a previous Best Picture movie and got story credit for "The Dark Knight Trilogy"! That's like... practically EVERY categories that were not Actress-related. Which is good news for Amy Adams, by the way. She might have gotten the snub at the Oscars, but at least she's NOT nominated for Worst Actress at the same time. I bet anyone who initially couldn't care less about the movie would be quite curious now to see whether this dull movie will win these categories or not. After all, it's something Warner Bros used to excessively brag about, right? Personally, I'm not at all surprised with this 'acknowledgement', and I doubt many would be, considering how... eh... 'disappointing' that movie was. Oh and that's not all! Jared Leto's cringing portrayal of The Joker somehow tags along Eisenberg's Lex Luthor for the same category. Which is... a huge irony considering "Suicide Squad" did score an Oscar nominee for his makeup. I say, the joke is on him, right?

All in all, I'm very much pleased with this list. It just feels... glorious to see so many POC on it, both in the acting and technical categories. It also feels good to not have to repeat the same complaints over and over again. Looks like the Academy has been listening to people's voice after all, and I deeply appreciate them for that. Not just that of course! This is also a great sign that many POCs have been given more trust in the movie industry. A good proof that they can now showcase their talents and skills, to up the competition in a significant way. Here's hoping this diverse nominations isn't just a one time only, and will continue to be a trend in the coming years.

As for my personal picks, aside from several categories (like Visual Effects, Best Song, etc), I haven't had a fixed personal prediction for the winners just yet. Why is that? Simply because I haven't seen many of the titles on the list. NO KIDDING! I mean, not just "La La Land", I haven't seen any on the Best Pictures ones! OUCH!!! Of course, I still have plenty of time to do so. At least until the ceremony takes place precisely next month (which is why I'm pushing this post to go up today LOL) on FEBRUARY 26, 2017 with Jimmy Kimmel as the host. Here's hoping I'll be able to catch up with them all, and post my fair predictions as soon as I can. It'll probably goes up just days before the ceremony though. Not unlike last year... ahahahaha.

#movie #animation #news #Academy Awards #Oscars #random thoughts #Just for Fun #awesome

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