#i did see once though that at least some of them are self aware in loving the 'essentially tomdaya rpf' fanfic

[seek--rest]

Every time I see you reblog a Tomdayer it trips me out cause I feel like you’re always at them 😭

ajfeiawofaewj listen i don't keep track of usernames i see good shit and i reblog it. 98% of the tomdaya fandom freaks me the tf out (why the fuck does a relationship between real ass people have a fandom that's just weird as hell to me much less coming from grown ass people but whatever that's what blocking is for) but even a broken clock is right twice a day and the unfortunate part of it is that if you want to get some Actual Celebrity News about either of them, the price is having to ignore the weird as fuck creepy shit that people post about them.

Most of it I can't handle but the ones that don't make me wanna vomit, I just close my eyes and ignore that nonsense.

#seek speaks #peace in my time will be when people aren't continuously weird as fuck about the real life actors that play fictional characters #i did see once though that at least some of them are self aware in loving the 'essentially tomdaya rpf' fanfic #like at least we can acknowledge you don't actually give a shit about spider-man you just wanna imagine tom and zendaya fucking #which is... to be clear #so fucking creepy and weird #but the self-awareness is a plus #people who pretend they give a shit about spider-man and then meanwhile write and scream about the most nonsensical rpf shit.... beloathed

[sh1-n0bu]

✿ 𝙡𝙤𝙨𝙩 ✿

characters: self aware!acheron x isekai!gn!reader, slight dan heng x reader to the end

warnings: fluff, poor attempt at humor, consumption of alcohol, lying (from dan heng), brief appearance of playable characters, description of acheron test run, reader is isekaid into the hsr world and is just trying to live their life, reader is referred to as aeon of life and your excellency

notes: just had a shower thought and remembered acheron interaction from the cosmodessy event and BOOM! part 2 of dragon fic is on the work i swEAR PLS DONT EAT ME the divider is from @/rookthornesartistry

“hmm…”

what a tricky situation. acheron had been wandering through the dreams of penacony to find out about the truth of the oak family. or at least, finding some hint and cases that has been silenced by the family. but on the way…

“i seem to be lost”

yes, the amnesiac galaxy ranger had found herself lost once more. she had briefly agreed with the astral express to meet them later at the clockie statue of golden hour, but the poor woman was now wondering which way is which and which direction she should be heading towards. oh well, she’ll figure it out later. right now, she needed to know where she was or attempt to find a familiar face.

looking around herself, acheron could hear the faint sound of jazz playing further down one of the halls. there also seem to be other people there as she could make out laughter and murmuring of people alongside the scent of alcohol wafting through the air.

a bar, perhaps?

quietly, she makes her way to the end of the hall, opening the double doors and coming to what she guessed was a bar. it did indeed seem like it, though just maybe a bit smaller than the usual grand and bright neon sign filled ones at the golden hour. briefly, the woman takes a moment to look around, hoping to find a familiar face. there was a bartender behind the bar, a halovian mixing a drink. perhaps she could ask her—?

a familiar colored hair catches acheron’s attention just as she was about to make her way over to the bartender. there, far away from the crowd of people at one of the seats sat the aeon of life. their back turned to others, seemingly running away from attention as they hunch over their table. acheron had never personally met the aeon of life before but she had felt their warmth, heard some snippets about them through the trailblazer and during an odd battle she was forced to fight in and have seen glimpses of their visage through the screen that the trailblazer allowed her to.

when acheron was first teleported to some theme park of penacony, she wondered if someone had kidnapped her. but when the ranger tried to move herself, she had found it impossible. until she did. someone or something was controlling her body, making her draw her blade and fight, yet she found it hard to hate the puppeteer. it felt… warm. to the lone galaxy ranger, this odd puppeteer of hers gave her a warm feeling, like being gently cradled by the sun. gentle and kind as the puppeteer moves her around, muffled gasps of awe and words of admiration falling onto her ears. this puppeteer of hers’ voice sounded gentle, soothing her heart, filling the loneliness of her soul. as quickly as it came, it disappeared and she was back in her room at the reality of the hotel.

when she briefly mentioned of this incident when she met welt of the astral express, he simply smiled with a knowing expression. the older man had told her about the aeon of life — or at least their reborn mortal self — and how they would sometimes guide some people to help them solve their problem or to bless them with more strength. most of the times though, these people were pathstriders, he told her.

and now here she was, in the flesh, being able to see the aeon of life themself.

quietly, the ranger makes her way towards the hunched over aeon. they seem to have had some glasses of drinks, the ice in them melting inside the glass as they lay their head on their arms, one hand wrapped around the glass of their next drink.

meanwhile, you try to fight back some sleep. drowsiness falling over you due to all sorts of drinks you’ve consumed. though, most were alcohol free, they still managed to knock you down a peg. must be the secret of being penacony dreamscape drinks or something. or maybe it was just siobhan’s specialty. she seemed very skilled in the art of free mixing.

the faint sound of heels clacking catches your attention though, making you stop and take a moment to listen carefully. not so soon after, the sound stops right behind you, along with a faint presence behind your back. you try to play asleep, hoping the person would just buy the act and leave you alone. ever since you were isekaid into the star rail world, people have been clamoring for your attention left and right. you came to penacony with the express in hopes of blending within the bright lights and dazzling signs of the dream world for people to ignore you and give you some time to breathe.

though, the presence continues to stay. lingering just behind you.

gulping, remembering an iconic meme back from your world, you slowly get up from your laying position and turn your head around to see who it was.

“YAAGHH—!” you yelp out loud, nearly shrieking as you jump from your seat when you saw acheron just silently staring at you, a bit closer than what you would prefer. the woman blinks, eyeing you carefully as she takes in your appearance. meanwhile, you hold a hand over your heart to calm the rapid beating of it.

breathing in and out, you eventually manage to calm yourself down. keeping an awkward eye contact with the ranger, you reach out to your unfinished glass of drink, taking a long sip from it. all the while, acheron continues to hold this somewhat awkward stare down.

“a-acheron, what are you doing here? you scared the shit out of me” you say, now finally calm after that last gulp of your drink. the woman’s exposed purple eye widens slightly, as if she was surprised by the fact you knew her. ah right, you two haven’t officially met each other in the flesh. so of course it will come off as weird to the galaxy ranger.

“i appear to be lost, your excellency” she replies, noting the unusual hue of your eye. it had a ring of gold in it, making you look otherworldly. but in this life where people can easily travel from one world to the other, that wasn’t exactly a compliment enough to say that you looked beautiful.

right, you remembered now that acheron had a tendency to forget things very easily and she would continue to be amnesiac until she draws her blade.

“well… where do you need to go then?”

the two of you have made your way out of siobhan’s bar, out of the dreamscape reverie hotel and towards the golden hour as she had said. but first you made little detours in your walk, stopping a few memory zone memes that has become unstable — during the whole time, acheron had told you to stay behind her so you would be safe — taking your time to admire the scenery of the dreamscapes before you two finally made it to the golden hour. it was buzzing, bustling with people from all over the galaxy and street vendors raising their voices to catch someone’s attention.

seeing a floating ice cream at the other end of the street, acheron steps onto the road without looking.

“ache, watch out!” you quickly reach out, holding her hand and yanking her back to yourself as a speeding car nearly runs her over. warm. you felt warm to the touch, gentle in the way you handled her as if she was made of glass. tender, almost, like a lover would hug another to their heart. she liked the way you hugged her, even though it was one born out of protective instinct.

“are you okay?” you ask, squeezing her bicep gently to take her attention. acheron turns her head to look at you, nodding her head that she was fine. everyone would be fine if they were in your protection after all. warm, safely tucked into your loving embrace.

“ache” she spoke suddenly, taking your attention back to herself. “you called me ache, your excellency. do you like the nickname?” the ranger asks, having never received any nicknames from others. this was her first time, having lost everyone she was close to and being forced to walk a lonely road until she caught the gaze of nothingness itself. even if she did indeed had gained nicknames from others before, she had long forgotten them. so this newfound form of kinship in you, in being given something intimate to be referred to by someone, brought a feeling of joy to the lonely ranger.

“i mean… do you like it?” you ask, looking at her face if she would give away any indication that she disliked it. to which you saw nothing. only the faint smile growing on her face. you liked that look on her face. the brooding, sad, melancholic look that she usually wears never fitted her. but when she did that, had a small smile on her face with a face of contentment, it seemed to suit her much better.

“mhm” acheron simply nods, an odd feeling of childish glee in her heart at the thought of having earned an intimate nickname. not from just anyone, but from you — the aeon of life, the very first living being that came to existence and decided to bless other lifeless things into meaningful ones. the aeon of life whose love and care held no bounds, reaching all over galaxies and world — even to ones that were distant and lone — embracing them in your love and care.

acheron liked the nickname “ache”. a heron liked to enjoy her time beside you. with you.

holding hands, eating floating ice creams and magical popcorns, the two of your take your sweet time during your detour to the clockie statue in golden hour. some people stopped you to ask for your autograph or a selfie together. it had become a common thing for you to experience ever since you got isekaid into this world.

the way you stopped to laugh at acheron’s face, where she had undoubtedly made a mess when eating her newly favorite peach flavored ice cream, the way you took out a napkin, wiping away the mess from her lips in such a tender manner caught the attention of a certain bloodhound. gallagher watched, jealous and other unknown bitter feelings swirling inside him as he watches your “date” with acheron from a bit away. he didn’t understand why he was so jealous. he was already in your grace, having come home to you many times while the ranger hadn’t came home to you even once.

but coming home, being in your grace and going on dates with you and holding hands were two completely different things. maybe he should invite you to come over at siobhan’s bar more.

finally, the pair of you made it to the clockie statue. when nearing to your destination, you felt the metal clawed hand of acheron tightening around yours. she seemed sad over the fact she had to let you go. it was nice to be beside you. holding hands, making jokes, feeling of belonging and comfort easily sweeping over her in waves that she never felt before. and yet she had to let go now. the express members were looking at you two weirdly.

“it’s alright, ache. we’ll go on more walks together later, okay? you have my phone number after all. you can text me if you want” your soothing voice graces her ears, filling the empty void of her heart. the woman remembers now. you gave her your number on the way here.

nodding, very reluctantly, acheron’s hands lets go of yours. immediately she wanted to reach out to hold your hand again, to feel the warmth of the sun from your skin again. but she holds herself back, afraid that she might scare you off with how forward she may come off as.

“see you later!”

“aaah… hopefully, today won’t be filled with creepy stalkers or annoying fans running after me…” you groan out, slumped over on one of the seats at the theme park. there wasn’t much people around, even if there were, the people here were too immersed in the exhilarating experience of the theme park. this place really was the world of dreams, huh…

“good afternoon, everyone. this is the ipc broadcast, coming back with news from all over the galaxy” one of the radios that was placed around the theme park speaks up, the familiar voices of the two npc’s coming through to catch some gossip loving folks’ attention.

“yesterday, at the world of dreams penacony, many people have reported to seeing their excellency, the aeon of life, going on a date with a certain mysterious purple haired woman” oh fuck no. no more gossip regarding the most basic things you do. please, no more scandals.

“some reports have stated that their excellency was sighted holding hands and going around one of the most famous dreamscapes of penacony — the golden hour — in a seemingly intimate date with the woman” it wasn’t a date! besides, people were too damn invested into your life.

groaning and silently spewing curses under your breath, you tune out the rest of the news broadcast, instead focusing on the taste of soulglad in your hand. at least there weren’t anyone around to bother you today. or anyone to spook you by just silently standing behind you. breathing down your neck, quietly standing there as if waiting for you to slowly turn around with “it’s behind me, isn’t it?”.

wait that’s too specific.

“your excellen—“

“whAT THE FUCK?!” safe to say, you jumped out of your seat when the familiar soothing voice of dan heng reached your ears. some people around turned to give you a weird or concerned stare.

“dan heng?! the hell are you doing here? aren’t you supposed to be back at the express?” you choke out, thankfully having not thrown your glass of soulglad in your fright. in return, the quiet dragon only tilts his head slightly, a sheepish look on his face. he lowkey reminded you of a puppy with that face…

“i came here to check on the other express members. they weren’t replying to me in the group chat. and now—“

“— and now you’re lost” you finish for him, waiting, keeping an eye contact to see if he would deny or agree. to which he simply nodded his head as slight pink hue spread over his cheeks.

“alright where do you need to go?”

“the golden hour, clockie statue”

“alright, alright. jeez, what’s up with you guys always meeting up at the statue?”

“uhm… your excellency?”

“yeah?”

“can we… hold hands?”

tomorrow, another hit news was broadcasted by the ipc broadcast, speaking of how the aeon of life was spotted going on another date with a young, handsome man from the astral express.

#nobu.writes #self aware hsr #self aware honkai star rail #sahsrau #hsr x gender neutral reader #hsr x reader #hsr x y/n #hsr x you #dan heng x y/n #dan heng x you #dan heng x reader #acheron x reader #acheron x you #gender neutral reader #gender neutral insert

[bluexiao]

#his secret spouse (part 2) 

— just a series where you are their secret spouse… but you didn’t know because you weren’t from teyvat after all! (until you have memories of him and you every time you two touch) 

CHARACTERS. self aware! Isekai! gn! Reader; Xiao, Zhongli, Childe / Tartaglia, Aether 

THEMES. sagau (self aware genshin au), isekai, fluff/crack, questionable but real established relationship, domestic, slight angst on Childe’s part. And severe angst for Xiao as well bwaahhahah

WARNINGS. reader lets out a few curses from surprise here and there (i made it so that it looked realistic); unedited still

NOTES. i swear i did not mean for xiao’s to turn out like that. i promise i did not make it so that it’s too angsty, but well… also i made this quite different from the part 1

part one - scaramouche, al-haitham, tighnari, heizou

XIAO 

You have to admit, it was your greed that brought the consequences right after. 

The thing is, you yourself realized that you were indeed in the world you had been playing your favorite game at, and to test out your theory, you did the one thing that first came to your mind–to call out the name of your favorite (bestest) boy, “Xiao!” 

To say that you were surprised to suddenly see a literal person appear in front of you from a sort of green smoke was an understatement–heck, you probably almost had a heart attack that all you had to say was “What the fuck?!” 

“Did you just curse at me?” he lets out a click of his tongue, “You have no respect for the Adepti.”

You trembled upon the sudden familiar voice that enveloped the air, as well as the pressure that appeared so suddenly–could it be? Is this the real feeling of having to face him? 

So you weren’t dreaming at all? 

“Y-you’re really… Adeptus Xiao?” 

For a second, you thought you saw the pained look on his face. Actually, it did cross his expression, but it soon vanishes and turned cold, almost like he froze for a moment and… 

“Don’t tell me…” your heart sank at the look and tone he was giving you, but for a moment, you thought that it was out of fear. But it turns out, it wasn’t. 

He gulps before continuing, “-you don’t remember… anything?” 

You felt… this urge to go and run to him, to wrap your arms around him, but the moment you stood up, he backed away. Your eyes, however, drop down to something that shined upon the glow of the moonlight and the darkness of the sky–a necklace, one that held a pendant that was shaped like a ring, its lace wrapped on Xiao’s neck. You could have sworn that the Xiao in-game did not have a necklace just like that–

“Wait, Xiao!” 

And then, he vanished. Before you could even touch him. 

The pressure in the air did not disappear with him, but this time, they were all in your chest. 

You honestly did not know where to go and found yourself following where your feet take you. It just happens to be Wangshuu Inn, and once you had gotten inside, you were greeted by a lady and a green-haired man. Oh, and some purple-haired kid that… looked a lot like Verr, Baizhu, and Qiqi. Actually, it seemed that they really were them. 

When your hunch was right, they soon explained to you that they were there upon the Adeptus’ call–to check up on you, though he did say that they were not supposed to say that it was him who asked for it, Qiqi slips it out and the secret did not last long. 

Soon, you had gotten them to explain what it really was that you did not know… or at least “remember”, as per what Xiao had said. It was Verr who told you everything. 

That even if you were supposedly a “secret”, Xiao had to tell the situation to her, and even to his “lord”, who soon advised him to try and seek for Baizhu’s help.

And that ring on his necklace… well, it matches with the one on your finger–how could you not realize you were even wearing one? 

“Xiao…” you called his name for the first time after a few days. For some reason, despite your lack of memories from him aside from the ones that came from the game in your real world, the lack of his presence… suffocated you. It felt like something was missing from your life. 

And you knew the answer right away when he reappeared right in front of you; your whole body easing up, the corners of your lips pulling up oh-so-slightly. You could see how he also visibly relaxes, but the frown on his face was evident as well, looking so conflicted that you barely had the heart to speak what you intended to say. 

But it was inevitable. 

You held out your hand to him. 

At least once again, let me be greedy, you thought to yourself. 

And as if he heard your wish, he reciprocates your desire, holding out his own hand and wrapping them around yours. Without any warning, you pulled him into an embrace, one that he lets you be, and even wraps his arms around your form, kist like how you did to his. 

You intended to break the news to him–that he did not deserve to hurt when you’re like this when you’re just a shell of the person he knew, and that maybe, it was for the better to break things off. 

But then… you started to “remember”. And by then, the tears were starting to fall off of your eyes. 

“Y-Y/n? Are you crying?!” he attempts to pull away to try and see your face but fails when you insisted to continue to embrace him, burying your face on his shoulders, but not before pressing a small kiss on his neck, tightening up your hold on him as the scenes of the “memories” you had over the years with him started to play in your mind. 

Even if you did end up telling the truth to him or not, he will most likely not try to push you away. He couldn’t. Even if his morals tells him that it was not right, he could not just let you go. 

ZHONGLI

When you saw him, you actually did not recognize who he was, nor where you were, actually. Though for sure, you were transported somewhere you definitely did not know–and you weren’t dreaming. 

It will not be long for you to realize where you are when you saw a statue not too far away from the place you had woken up from. 

“Ah, shit.” Don’t tell me this is real–for sure, this is not real, you convinced yourself, only to be proven wrong. 

“I did not know you could utter curses so… easily, my love.” 

You turn around with a gasp. Who was this man? Even with his physique, you could tell that he was… quite familiar. His voice too. And even the tone on his words, but you could swear that you’d never even met him before. 

It turns out, someone was trying to find you all this time, and he did so with a “statue”--this statue.

And did I forget to say that he calls himself your lover?

You were already walking with the said “spouse” when you found out that he is called Zhongli and you pieced everything together, realizing that you have probably been transported to the world of Teyvat, the game you were playing before ending up falling asleep not too long ago. And the statue where he found you was the Statue of the Seven, one located near the Liyue Harbor. His statue.

And wait… he could hear voices through his statue???

Does it mean you just got “isekai’d”? You probably were, or you might have just been lucid dreaming or something. You still did not believe anything and everything that you were seeing, Heck, who would’ve even thought that you’d be dating such a handsome man–a god in this world, even. 

Though you knew the story of the Adepti and his identity (both from the game and in here)… you “memories” told you that he actually did not announce any of the Adepti of his marriage with you. At least… not yet, or not quite. He did say he will settle with someone, but he did not say your name.

You could feel the discomfort upon remembering this memory. But then, your “sin” was quite similar from him. So you couldn’t really call him out.

Of course, you hid the truth from him, merely riding along, which turned out to be quite easy as he was the type of person to fill up the silence if he sensed that his companion was not in the mood to initiate the conversation. He did not question your “weird” actions either, which was admittedly quite sweet of him, too much that you began to feel guilty for hiding something from him. 

Even if he did notice your odd behaviors, he would not have realized that you were a soul from another world–or that you had merged from the one that was currently occupying the “You” from this world. This curiosity, however, would probably be too much for you and you’ll end up sharing it to your husband. It did take a long while until you felt comfortable about it though, but unlike your expectations, he takes it quite well.

“I see… so that was why you were acting quite strange that day. But I assume you had gotten back all your memories now? Then, I suppose your soul from this world probably merged from your soul from the other world.” 

“Tell me, how is it like? To have memories of two worlds?” 

“You are truly special, my love. I suppose even the higher beings who had arranged such a circumstance had seen the beauty of your two souls,” he says so with a gentle smile and a soft caress on your cheek, “I must say… I am beyond grateful to have you in my arms still.”

CHILDE / TARTAGLIA 

When you woke up, you were beyond horrified… You thought you were dreaming. 

By the time you came to, your gazes landed on worried glances sent your way, all of them wearing unusual clothes and faces you could barely even think existed in real life. (From what you remember, you weren’t in a cosplay convention with Fatui cosplayers all around you—though where did they buy those? They looked hella real.)

You screamed before you could even realize that you were in the world of the game you were playing. Of course, that possibility was the least in your mind, only to come up with the conclusion once you saw his face and heard the others call his name. 

“Lord Harbinger Tartaglia… I think they are in a state of shock. This might be a result of the… attack that they had encountered before you had come to save them, b-but fear not! The healers had done a good job to check if there are any injuries and there weren’t many that proves to be fatal.” 

You were attacked?, you began to think to yourself, trying to remember anything, but…

Nothing seems to be ringing a bell at all!

That was until… 

You saw him reaching his hand out to you, his intense gaze glued to yours, almost as if… he was asking you if he could hold your hand. Without voicing out anything, you let out a small nod, and it seems that your intuition was right. He reaches out to you and before you could even internalize what he was doing, you found yourself gasping upon the ring that he so easily slipped on your finger, almost as if… they were yours. 

“I found it near where we found you… I…” he trails off, and the astonishment you had vanished almost suddenly upon hearing the voice of the ginger breaking off on its own… 

You have never seen him like this. 

“I thought I had lost you.” 

The voice inside your head sounded a lot like you, and so does the gripping pressure on your chest–a sort of feeling you get when you had failed over something back in the real world. Now, the question lies… which one is the real world, even? 

You did not tell him the truth. Despite the guilt that you felt, a nagging feeling inside of you told you that you shouldn’t–not because of your selfishness, but because of the fragility of the body that you occupied. 

He kept you well protected. No one from the Fatui originally knew about you, but now that they had seen their Harbinger let out tears and slip a ring on your finger, they now do.

Childe, it seems, had always been afraid that you would leave him for his identity–it was not to the point that he showed you this every day, but it was just a feeling–one that the “you” from this world seemed to have felt as well, according to the memories in your head. 

And so, you shall keep this secret for as long as you can. Because even with the underlying fact that no secrets can be left unturned, this one, you prayed will never be. 

AETHER

You woke up with a beaming and rather… annoying voice. One that you felt was quite familiar. And as soon as your eyes fluttered open and the haze in your gaze faltered you felt like you were dreaming.

“Paimon? Is that…” 

“Oh, look! Traveler, they’re awake!” the little flying fairy shouts–very much like how she would in the game… wait. 

Your eyes blasted wide open and your body reflexively sat up and backed away. As if the world wanted to surprise you even more, the face of the character you had been playing with all this time comes right in front of you, eyes glazed with worry as he tries to reach his hand out to you. 

“Wait, you’re-!” 

The words, however, die down from your mouth the moment his hand touches your arm. 

As soon as you “remembered”, you stiffened upon his touch and the “memories” got cut off as soon as he instinctively felt your discomfort, however, you're reaching back to him was beyond your plans, lacing his fingers with your own, each second triggering a scene play in your mind. Then that specific scene made you stop in your tracks and gasp. 

“What’s wrong, Y/n?” Paimon questions, her eyes sparkling with the same look as Aether’s, “Did the Traveler and you have a lover’s quarrel?? Or wait… should we call it a marriage quarrel now? Oh no! You two… you better talk it out! Traveler, are you sure you didn’t do anything to make Y/n mad at you? I’m not siding with you if that’s the case!” 

You were still trembling from the initial shock (or shocks at this point), but refused to let go of Aether’s hand–my god, is he truly your spouse now?! Secret spouse, even! How was it possible??? Everyone knew of the traveler but no one knew of you. You have all the memories to prove it but… 

“Wait… don’t let go,” you frowned when he attempted to pull his hand away, insisting that he should check if you were injured or hurt somewhere, “I’m alright… just… surprised. I had a bad dream, ‘s all…”

If you do end up telling him about the truth, he’s quite reluctant at first, but does not push you away, rather, try to help you solve the issue as much as he can–even if it seemed impossible, with him, you felt that it was indeed the opposite. 

“Aether… my soul is actually not from this world. Or at least… I remember it isn’t… but I also remember my memories here and I don’t know who I am anymore at this point.”

You bit your lip as you told yourself to shut up–how in the world will you survive now if he ends up abandoning you? And those matching rings on your fingers… it hurts to think that you’d have to abandon it if-

The dark thoughts vanish without a trace the moment you felt yourself wrapped around a familiar warmth, and even with the scenes of “memories” flashing in your mind like a never-ending maze, you found yourself easing up and leaning your weight onto Aether’s form. 

“Sh… it’s alright… we’ll figure this out, ok? Y/n? You’re still Y/n… I’m sure of it.”

You silently nodded and buried yourself on his neck, realizing just how much your heart seems to ache for this person without you even meaning to. 

reblog and comments are greatly appreciated <3

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#yaepublishinghouse #genshin x reader #xiao x reader #zhongli x reader #childe x reader #tartaglia x reader #aether x reader #genshin xiao #genshin zhongli #genshin childe #genshin aether

[flowershines]

Please Help

Peeta Mellark x F. Reader

warnings: public masterbastion, masterbating (M reciving), cameras, viagra, blood

Rising from the tube that brung you to the game arena, a ray of sunshine blinded you eyes still trying to adjust to the unsudden brightness a small ticking sound was heard from the area where you had been facing. Looking around you were standing on the tube which had been surrounded by water, trees filled the area behind you as other participants ran along the middle of the water standing on their tubes as well. The metal cannacopia was in front of you as you checked your surroundings. You had been divided by a single brownish black line, which broke down the circle into some clock pattern. The ticking sound had gotten louder as the numbers lowered on top of the cannacopia, seeing all the other contestants getting ready to run towards the weapons not wanting to be an easy target. You had decided to run towards the cannacopia and get the leftover weapons later after everyone had left. Timer had hit the last 3 seconds, the other participants looked around at a loss trying to figure out if the others were running towards the cannacopia.

1…

Diving into the water you headed for the brownish line as it would lead you to the cannacopia directly. Arriving there, others were nowhere to be seen.

Weird.

Turning around you had faced a very handsome and young guy, you think his name was Peeta or something along those lines. Grabbing a bag along with a spear, defending yourself as others started to swarm the perimeter around you, ignoring the man behind you in the process. Not turning back and heading back to the line you came up on, hearing screams behind you getting louder and louder, blood started to seep into the water making you aware that someone had been attacked just behind you. A loud pitter patter noise was following in your footsteps, heavy breathing was heard just feet away from you.

Running full speed on a small line trying to maintain balance and not get attacked was one of the hardest things you think you have ever done when all of the sudden the footsteps stopped followed along with a splash from the water, not wanting to turn back you continued running till you made it to land then turning around you saw a dead body floating in the water just by where you had heard the footsteps stop. Turning back around to face the trees and running into them, tripping occasionally in the process, slowing down nothing but a bird chirping was all that was heard. Thinking that it was safe you sat down on a tree stump and grabbed the bag that you had grabbed from the cannacopia.

Unzipping the bag you pulled out a sleeping bag, a pocket knife, mace, a water container, rope, and nets. A tiny bag was found in the smallest packet, they were pills, it looked like the sign L4 84 making them ibuprofen was scratched out by hand. Knowing that it was weird you made a pact to yourself that you would only use it if you 100% needed it.

Putting the things back in the bag a small crunch of leaves was heard from behind you, turning around you were faced with the most prettiest guy your eyes have ever laid on once again. Peeta. He had a huge gash on his left arm making the blood run down all the way to his fingers but he didn’t seem to care or at least he didn't show that he did, seeing him made you immediately stand up dropping everything from your bag onto the ground holding you hands into fists for self defense as your eyes were searching to try and find your spear.

“Don’t worry I didn't come here to hurt you, just passing by. Need help?”

“I’m okay thanks though.” Crouching down to pick up the things from your bag and putting them back in, he walked over to you and grabbed the thing closest to him and held his hand out towards you handing it over.

“Thanks.” A small smile was displayed on your face as a way to try and show your gratitude, he nodded his head and continued picking up the things. As almost all the things were picked up you looked around thinking you had grabbed everything only to see the bag with the pills right by his thigh, “Can you hand me that?” You asked, pointing to the small bag. He grabbed it and handed it to you. “What is that?” “Ibuprofen, you want one you look like you could use one.” You knew it probably wasn't the best thing to try and be nice but you thought that he could be your test subject not wanting to find out for himself if that carved out sign really meant it or if they were going to do something else.

“Yeah, thanks.” Opening the bag you took out two and placed them in his hand, “I hope you can dry swallow.” You said jokingly, he smiled and placed them in his mouth swallowing the pills then sticking out his tongue to show you that he could.

“Good Luck.” Was all he said as he handed you the last of your things before leaving.

Peeta’s POV:

I walked away and continued to try and find my setup, my arm kept bleeding and bleeding. Trying to find a waterfall or something in the process to clean up the wound, I didn’t have to worry about the pain much longer as the girl had given me those pills. Relieved about that, I tried to listen to see if I could hear water coming from any direction. Hearing the water swish around from the area that had been surrounding the cannacopia, I decided that that would probably be the best place to clean up for now.

On the way to the water, my stomach felt weird as if there were butterflies in it. I'm probably just hungry, moving on from the thought I arrived at the water not that long after, rolling up my sleeve not trying to touch the wound then getting some water and slowly soaking in on the wound to try and clean up the surface around it.

Heading back towards the cannacopia I decided that there could be some left over things that could help me later on but as i was heading towards the cannacopia as quietly and quickly as possible that feeling came back, I needed to get food so this feeling would go away fast. Just as I took another step towards the cannacopia my cock swirled in my pants, trying to think of anything else except from my growing bulge. My mind kept thinking of that girl, but every time i think about her my dick would twitch in a show of my desperation for her.

As went on my dick continued to twitch and get harder making it almost hurt from desperation, looking down I saw a wet patch of right where my tip was from all of the precum I was leaking.

Your POV:

Walking through the trees you peaked behind one of the trees as you heard a quiet sound echoing through the area, turning your head towards the noise. It was Peeta. Was he still hurt?

Going on your tippy toes to try and get a better view of what he was doing you you heard another noise but it sounded like he was in pain, looking at him his fingers grazed over his pants, making him make more noise.

He put his shirt in his mouth to muffle his noises, he started to undo his pants and unzipped them bringing his pants to the ends of his thighs as his boxers were still on.

What is this guy doing? Doesn’t he remember that there are cameras?

Oh shit if the cameras are on and they see him doing that does that mean that they can see me as well and if they do see him doesn’t that mean- “Y-y/n!”

You were pulled out of your thoughts by a familiar but unfamiliar voice, going behind the tree and you realized that he had seen you. Peaking over gain he was staring at you, “Come here.” He said sounding angry.

Walking towards him he moaned slightly as you got closer, “What were those pills?” He placed his hand cupping his dick. “I told you, Ibuprofen.” “Ibuprofen my ass, come one just tell me I won’t be mad.” “It said L4 84 on it so i thought it was Ibuprofen but if your saying that it’s not than i have no idea. What makes you think that it’s not Ibuprofen?”

He jerked his hand up and down on his shaft, “Cause this doesn’t just happen, of course boners happen random but this one makes me want more and hurts more as well.” Looking at him jerking himself off made your stomach spin back and forth, staring at him with lust in your eyes made him realize what he had been doing.

“Please Y/n, I don’t wanna die and have blue balls. Can you help me out, please?” His eyes looked at you pleading with desperation.

“Fine but we never speak of this to anyone.” He let go of his dick that he had just had been jerking himself off with, only to be replaced by your hand rubbing his bulge over his boxers.

Small moans were heard from the man guy who was in front of you, running your fingers through the waistband of his boxers you slowly started to pull them down as he lifted his hips to give you the access you needed.

Wrapping your hand around the base of his cock with your other hand you ran your finger along the slit of his tip skidding around the pre cum as it started to drip down to your other hand.

“Quit teasing, who knows who is looking and trying to kill us.”

You nodded your head agreeing with him, slowly moving your hand along the veins of his cock he grabs the end of his shirt which was the end closest to you and places it right in between his teeth to stop him from being loud while the other participants are still hunting.

His head thrown back he moans and grunts into the cloth of his shirt as you jerk him off. The faster he would make noise the faster you would jerk him off and vice versa.

The longer you went on the closer he got, not long after his breathing became shaky and heavy telling you in a way that he was getting close.

“Y/n I’m gon- I’m gonna cum.” Just then his load spilled from hit tip and onto your shirt which didn’t really cover your tits along with it dripping down your hand.

“Thanks I really appreciate it a lot.” “No problem.” You said bringing the hand that had his cum dripping down on it to your mouth.

Head quarters:

“Boss, should we censor all that?”

“Don’t bother it’s already live.”

#josh hutcherson #josh hutcherson smut #fluff #smut #peeta mellark smut #peeta mellark

[owliellder]

Loving Takes Time

Leon Kennedy x afab Satyr Hybrid! Reader

MDNI 18+

Trigger Warning for the nature of the content

Description: Leon goes with Chris to just look at hybrids up for adoption, not really expecting to bring such a strange one home.

Warnings: Not proofread, Dub-Con, Unprotected Sex, Major Size Difference and 5-Year Age Difference, Leon is a PERVERT but he's still gentle 🫶

Tags: One-shot, Female Reader uses she/her, No use of y/n, Leon is 5'11", Reader is 4'0", Virgin Reader, Smut, Somnophilia, Picture Taking, Lactation, Fingering, Cunnilingus, Cowgirl Position, Belly Bulge, Dirty Talk, Ass Play

Words: 8.9k

Author's Note: Okay now I know this is a pretty strange/questionable one, but I've had this idea in my pocket for awhile and, once again, this is pure self-indulgence because if I could be ANYTHING in the world I would be a satyr 😭 They're the cutest little scampers!!!

Please forgive me for my transgressions 💔 I honestly felt so guilty writing this even though a lot of these tags reflect me (please don't hate me)

Cross-posted onto AO3

"I'm serious, we're just going to look!"

"Chris, 'just looking' always leads to either you or me getting something." Leon emphasized with hand quotes, giving Chris an incredulous look.

Both men were sitting in Chris' car that was parked in the relatively empty parking lot for the Hybrid Adoption Center. Leon had expressed *once* that he thought having a pet would be fun, but he knew a pet would be hard to manage with his field of work. He'd been partially aware of hybrids, yet he was less than convinced on the idea of having what was essentially a pet person.

"Look, I know. I get it-" "I don't wanna hear it. We're just here to look." Leon cut Chris off, waving his hand dismissively before opening the passenger door. "Even on the off chance I find one that I like, I'm in no way prepared to bring them home." He slid out of the car, Chris following suit. The older man followed Leon around the front of the car, shaking his head with a small chuckle. "Alright, alright.. Whatever you say, ya big grouch."

If Chris hadn't had to make an appointment to see the hybrids, then Leon would've found any excuse not to come. He did try, don't get him wrong, but Chris is notoriously persistent. A worm in his ear.

Once the two had made their way inside the adoption center, Chris confirmed his appointment to visit with the hybrids with a nice old lady who happily greeted them from the front desk. "There's still a couple in the back looking, but I'll let them know their time is up. Give me just a minute-" she quickly stood up and walked out from the front desk and into the back kennels.

Good. A little time to look around. Leon thought to himself with a small hum, moseying around the front room. He carefully looked at the various items; clothes, leashes, collars, bags of food, toys, treats, everything. He had a feeling that he was going to end up with some random puppy hybrid today, so it was worth it to look at all this ahead of time.

After only a few minutes, the old lady returned with the couple, nodding with a smile as they promised to come back once they'd made up their mind. Leon silently wishes Chris would give him the luxury of choice like they had.

"Leon! C'mon, let's go!" Chris happily exclaimed, only to be shushed by the lady. Apparently most of the hybrids are pretty sensitive to the sound as it echoes back in the kennels. At least the older man listened to someone here. "Lead the way." Leon held his hand up, letting Chris walk in front of him through the door to the kennels.

What they walked through were the puppy hybrids first, probably the most popular. And the noisiest. They were super excitable, which was undeniably cute, but at the end of the day Leon wasn't looking for a high-maintenance pet. He needed one with self-sustainability, and preferably one that wouldn't smother him either. The last thing he wants is to feel guilty every morning leaving for work. So a puppy hybrid? Out of the question.

Chris was quietly ooging out over every single hybrid they past, all the way through to the quieter kitty and bunny section. All cute, a cat hybrid seemed to be most aligned with what Leon wanted. None of them really caught his eye, though.

Near the end of their little walkthrough, Leon decided to look through the puppy kennels one last time, furrowing his brow when he noticed an empty kennel in the back. It being empty isn't what confused him, it was the kennel card still hanging on the chainlink fence that did it.

Making his way over, he carefully studied the card. No picture and a pretty vague description was provided. A... goat? They have a goat with the puppies back here? Reading on, he noticed that it said you were twenty-five years old, five years younger than he was. Guess you'd been there at the shelter for awhile too.

You weren't in the main kennel area, though. Probably hiding in the back. It was strange they had you with the puppies, they were so barky, but maybe they had no other place to put you? That's the most reasonable explanation.

Chris noticed Leon looking at the empty kennel with pursed lips, walking up behind him with crossed arms. "Out of everything here, you zero in on the kennel that has nothing in it?" Leon turned to face Chris, responding with a simple "... there's a goat in there" before going back to trying to see through the small square hole at the back of your kennel that led to the employee-only side, hoping to catch a glimpse of you.

"You're joking. A goat?" Chris raised an eyebrow, pushing Leon over to the side a bit so he could read your kennel card as well. "Aren't those for farms or something?"

"Yeah, I thought so too.." Leon hummed, crouching down next to Chris' legs as he continued to try and look through the hole. The old lady from the front desk soon made her way back to tell the two men that their time was almost up, only to find them studying your kennel.

"She's a shy one." She spoke up with a smile, alerting both men of her presence. "Hides when people come through the door, but she is easy to entice with a little snack?" The old lady noticed Leon seemed most interested and decided to bend down as best as she could to hand him a small peppermint candy.

"Okay..." Leon seemed a bit confused yet accepted the peppermint anyways, tossing it in his hand a couple times before slotting it through the fence. It didn't take long for you to appear, poking your head out through the square hole with your nose sniffing away. Perky goat ears and small curled horns, seemed standard enough.

It wasn't until you very cautiously stepped out, eyes on the three standing in front of her kennel that Leon seemed more interested than before. From your hips down you had fur, full blown goat legs that ended with the daintiest little hooves. He noticed your tail once it wagged a couple times at the scent of the peppermint. It made him crack a smile. Now that's interesting!

"Oh wow, she's..." Leon started to speak, his voice quickly trailing off as the suddenness must've started you. "Yes, she's a bit more 'animal' than the rest. The livestock usually are." The old lady seemed to know what he was going to say. It must be confusing to a lot of people.

"Small, too." Chris chimed in, arms still crossed as he looked down at you, watching you crouch low and stretch your arm to reach for the peppermint to avoid getting any closer to the chainlink fence.

"A pygmy goat. Regular goat hybrids tend to be a foot taller, but she's only about 4 feet. Very small little lady." The old lady chuckled softly, watching you scurry back through the hole to hide after successfully grabbing the peppermint. "I can take you into one of our meeting rooms if you'd like to get a better look?"

Before Leon could respond, Chris decided to just accept the offer for him, laughing as he watched the other man's face fall with annoyance. "Oh come on, don't be so sour." Chris firmly grabbed Leon's arm and hoisted him up from his crouched position before nudging his forward. "Lead the way, miss."

The colorfully painted walls of the meeting room were rather welcoming as both men wandered in. On the back wall sat a bench with some old cushions and blankets sitting on the seat. Chris took the liberty to sit down while Leon leaned against the wall next to it, grumbling quiet nonsense to himself.

The old lady excused herself to go retrieve you from your kennel, leaving Chris to poke fun at Leon for his sudden interest for only a moment before she returned with you on a lead.

She was right, you were small. "Alright, sugar, easy now." You were also very obviously nervous, hiding behind the elder woman's legs as she walked into the room with you. She gently pet the top of your head, fixing a few strands of your hair that got stuck wrapped around your tiny horns. "Just remember to move slow with her and you'll have the perfect little lap pet."

The old lady's voice was soft as she slowly made her way over to Chris, handing him the end of your lead as he nodded in agreement. You tried to follow the lady as she walked back out of the room only to be stopped by the lead, causing you to start whining with your ears pinned to the sides of your head as you stared at the now closed door.

"Hey," Leon was crouched down again, clicking his tongue to try and get your attention, "hey it's okay, she'll be back soon." You whipped your head around to look at him, freezing where you stood as you watched Leon reach a hand out. You sniffed the air a bit, staring both men down, almost as if you were sizing them up.

"Pretty cute, huh Leon?" Chris whispered. He was really laying it on thick and as much as Leon hated to admit it, you were growing on him. "Here, sit down on the bench and I'll give you her leash." As he spoke, Chris scooted to the side more to make room for the other man.

After carefully standing up to not scare you, he sat down on the bench next to Chris, taking the loop on the end of the lead as it was offered to him. Leon was a little nervous only because you were nervous, what if you bite?

It took some time, but with a lot of gentle coaxing and few extra peppermints provided by the old lady, you were soon standing in front of Leon's legs, chin resting on his knees as he scratched behind your left ear. During that time Leon had introduced himself to you, and though you didn't respond, your ears perking up to listen was enough confirmation that you heard him.

"You're breaking." Leon frowned at Chris' remark, eyes locked on your relaxed face. He could just barely see your fluffy tail wagging, moving his hand around to lift your head up as to scratch underneath your chin. The second he heard that happy little chitter from the back of your throat he knew it was over.

Chris gave a small 'oh' when he noticed Leon's smile forming. "You broke." The younger man only sighed in response, now using both hands to massage your furry ears. "I'll go get that lady." You jumped slightly when Chris suddenly stood, but Leon was quick to distract you with another peppermint.

The paperwork to take you home was relatively simple, thankfully. Leon took every recommendation from the elder lady about what items to buy, along with taking the blanket that was kept in your kennel. Something that already smelled like you would help ease you into a new home, or so he was told.

You were surprisingly easy on the ride home, both men staying quiet with the radio playing low just in case you panicked. Chris helped Leon set up all your stuff before bringing you inside, leading you over to where your blanket was laid out in the medium sized cage now set up in the corner of Leon's living room. You stayed in the cage as the men said their goodbyes, now left alone with Leon.

He gave you time to settle, only choosing to react to you once he noticed you quietly crawl out from the cage and begin surveying the living room from where he sat on the couch. "Hey there, little lamb."

His voice startled you slightly, making eye contact with him for a brief moment before offering him a shy smile. "Hi.." You whispered back in response, looking around as you slowly stepped over to Leon. He hadn't heard you speak until now, so this hopefully meant you were growing more relaxed around him.

"Quite the change." Leon hummed and you only nodded, looking off to the side as you rested your chin on one of his knees again. "It's a lot quieter here though, yeah?"

"Yeah..." Your voice was so sweet, even if just a whisper right now.

"Good." Leon cooed, reaching down to rub your ears. "How ya feeling?"

You shrugged, eyes still darting around the room even as they became lidded with the gentle caresses on your ears.

"What about a bath?" You looked back up into his eyes at the suggestion, eyebrows raising up. It had been awhile since you were given a bath..

Your reaction must've been enough as it prompted Leon to stand up, bending down a bit to hold onto your hand before leading you up the stairs and to the bathroom attached to his bedroom.

Luckily most of his living room and the bedrooms were carpeted, so he didn't have to worry about you slipping there. The tiled kitchen and bathrooms were another story as you immediately slipped with a yipe once stepping into the bathroom, furry legs shaking as you held yourself still as best as you could in an awkward half-splits position.

The man lifted your arm up above your head by your hand, lifting you up a bit in the process so you could reach the rug in front of the bathtub without anymore risk. "I gotcha, kiddo. Don't panic."

He kept one hand on the top of your head as a single to stay where you were while he turned the bathtub faucet on, plugging the drain once the water was warm enough. He was directed to buy a specific soap for you, so he used that to create some bubbles in the bath in hopes of giving you a little bit of fun.

You were carefully lifted up and into the water as soon as it was ready and the faucet was turned off, sighing softly at the warmth. You were always so anxious in the shelter which meant your muscles were always stiff. This was a nice change of pace.

"Wash off that shelter stink." Leon chuckled when you closed your eyes, sitting down on his legs before grabbing an empty cup to scoop and pour the soapy water over your head.

The attention you were receiving was unfamiliar, but definitely not unwelcome. His fingernails scratching your scalp was heavenly and you couldn't help but coo at the feeling.

"That good?" The man asked, smiling as you tilted your head towards his hands whenever he moved them.

"Mhm." You tilted your head back as he massaged his hands down your neck, using a clean washrag that he grabbed from underneath the sink not too long ago. He was able to get away with washing your whole upper body before asking you to stand up, offering his hand to you to use for balance. Along with the soap he bought for you, he also got a short bristled comb for your fur.

He kept his hand up for you, countering your pressure with a bit of his own so you felt steady while he began to lightly comb out the fur that started below your navel. What was once a dingy grey was now the cutest white fur on your belly and on the inside of your thighs, it was even on your butt and the underside of your tail.

While combing out your soggy fur, Leon had started to grow curious. All the other hybrids were just naked humans with a few specific animalistic features, yet your entire lower body was just goat.

He slowly spun you around at some point to comb your backside. "I need both my hands for this, love. Can you put your hands on the edge of the tub for me?"

You were reluctant to let go of his hand but agreed anyways, shakily placing your hands on the slippery white porcelain. It bent you over just slightly, which is what Leon needed to reach the rest of everything.

Unbeknownst to both you and Leon, your tail was quite sensitive at the base. He paused at the small gasp you let out when he grabbed your tail, giving you a worried look. "Are you okay? Did that hurt?"

"Uh-.. oh uh.. no it didn't hurt..." You weren't quite sure how to respond. That was a new feeling. It didn't hurt, though, that you knew.

Leon rationalized the reaction as him just startling you with the sudden grab. But then your tail wiggled faintly in his grasp as he slowly began to comb out your fur again, only leading him to wonder further.

He'd get the fur on the lower end of your legs last since you had to balance more for that, but right now he needed to worry about the thick patch of fur covering your genitals. Your little puckered hole was already on display for him which definitely didn't have him half-hard in his jeans since he had to lift your tail to comb the fur around it and you didn't seem too bothered by the exposure.

He let go of your tail, which stayed up, to pour another cup of water over your furry backside after noticing you begin to shiver, moving his hands lower to part the fur covering your pussy so he could comb that out as well. Unfortunately was a bit more tangled down there, probably due to the movement of your legs, and with it being denser fur, Leon had to take extra precaution when getting the tangles out.

He wasn't complaining though, your cute little pussy was definite eye-candy to the man. The bath was an easy excuse to touch it a bit, running the tip of his index finger through your folds a couple times before refocusing on detangling the fur around it. The little gasp you made mimicked the one you let out when he grabbed your tail. Interesting.

"Mr- uh.. Mr. Kennedy?" His eyes slowly drifted up to your face, noticing you were looking back at him from over your shoulder. "Don't worry, we're almost done, okay? You were pretty tangled down here, didn't wanna hurt ya."

Leon's words eased you some, finally letting your tail rest against your ass again as he moved down to the backs of your thighs. Not wanting to keep you in the cooling water much longer, the man hurried the rest of the bath up before rising you off with a detachable shower head.

It was amazing to him just how much water you held onto. He had to squeeze out the entirely of your legs, your tail, even your ears before he could wring out your hair. Seeing your perky nipples made it worth his while, however.

By now you were a shivering mess wrapped in two towels, standing on the rug as you would for sure slip on the tile when you were dripping water like this. Leon was so nice to you, setting up a small desktop space heater he had bought some years ago for you in front of your cage. He even carried you downstairs to the carpet.

The second the towels were taken from you, you immediately began to shake off the water, causing Leon to laugh.

"Hey, hey!" He held up the towels in front of his body as protection from your misting, laugh falling to a giggle when your tail vigorously wiggled. "Didn't know I took home a sprinkler system."

"Sorry-" You were still shaking off when you started to speak, so you waiting until you were done to continue talking. "Sorry, Mr. Kennedy. It's habit."

He folded the towel and draped it over his arm before patting your head. "Nah don't worry about it, sugar."

You leaned up into his touch, letting out a giggle of your own as he hooked a finger around the curl of your horn to move your head side to side playfully.

It was, again, surprising just how quickly you warmed up to the man. After you were mostly dried off from sitting in front of the small space heater, you started to follow Leon around as he moved about the house. Though you stopped on the edge of the carpet whenever he walked into the kitchen, he'll have to get some rugs for you, you were close behind him everywhere else.

Leon took a week off of work to allow you time to fully get to know your surroundings. He could more than afford the time off and it was nice to have a mini vacation away from work. Besides, you were fun to watch.

Just like he'd wanted, you were mostly self-sustainable, able to get your own food and go to the bathroom once he added rugs to tiled areas. He also bought a couple step-stools that had rails you could hold onto, one placed in the kitchen so you could move it about and the other in the master bathroom for you to reach the sink.

Leon did also buy a couple indoor cameras to keep an eye on you when he went back to work. You quickly learned where they were so you could ask him questions throughout the day seeing as he could talk through the camera back to you. You always made sure to ask if you could have a specific snack to eat, sometimes even telling him where you were going in the house if there wasn't a camera able to see you.

A few months in had lead to a very comfortable routine between you two; Leon would leave before you were awake, come home around 6-7pm, you would come running from wherever you were to hug his waist, he would make dinner while you two talked, the both of you would sit on the couch and watch a movie if it was a day he didn't come home exhausted, you and him would go to bed, and the cycle would repeat. At some point you even started sleeping in his bed with him, curling up towards the foot end of the bed next to his legs.

The weekends were spent going on walks to exercise your legs. You liked climbing and jumping around on big rocks, so hiking was always a good option. He also spent extra time cuddling you, massaging your little legs, playing with the split in your hooves, even experimenting with a gentle tug on your tail every so often. You always got so embarrassed with his teasing, it made him laugh.

When Leon had to leave for a mission, he would have Chris come and stay at his place. You didn't like this at first, it threw off the delicate balance between you and Leon, but just like with everything else, you settled after the first couple times he had to go on a mission. You were never told the nature of his missions, he didn't want you to worry or be upset if he never came back. This also kept you decently happy when he was away.

You really bonded with Leon and he bonded with you. How could he not? You were adorable.

As previously mentioned, you would always come running to greet him when he got home from work, which is why he was a little off-put not seeing you after getting home one day. It was the middle of the week and it had been a normal working day. You seemed alright on the cameras a few hours ago, having told him before he went on lunch that you were going to take a nap on his bed. It's been longer than your normal naps, so he was hoping you didn't get stuck somewhere and hurt yourself.

"I'm home, little lamb! Where are ya?" Leon yelled out, pausing to listen for any sign of movement before making his way back to his bedroom, but not before giving the guest bathroom and bedroom a quick glance on the way.

You had obviously been on his bed, given the sheets were all messed up, but where the hell were you?

It wasn't until he strode into his bathroom that he noticed his tall laundry basket was tipped over, some clothes pushed out the top which held the attached lid open a crack. He knelt down on one knee and knocked on the lid with his knuckle before lifting the lid up, eyes landing on you curled up in the bottom. Your eyes met his and you frowned, ears lowered as you turned your eyes down.

"Hey kiddo, what're ya doing in there?" Leon made sure his voice was anything but accusatory. "Did you get stuck?"

He glanced up a bit to make sure your horn wasn't hooked in one of the holes, and it wasn't.

"No..." You muttered, pulling one of his dirty shirts over your face. Oh now you were hiding from him, that won't do.

"C'mon, out with ya." His voice was gravelly as he lifted the lid up all the way and reached in, putting his hands under your armpits to pull you out along with the shirt you kept in front of your face. He held you so you were sitting on his forearm snuggled up to his stomach, reaching a hand up to pull the shirt away from you before tucking his other arm underneath your fluffy butt.

The position had you at eye level with him. He noticed your face was a little flushed, so he reached a hand back and pressed the back of it to your forehead. You didn't have a fever, that's good at least.

"You gonna tell me what's up?" Leon asked, scoffing playfully when you shook your head no and covered your face with your arms. "You'll be mad at me."

Leon's eyebrows furrowed with concern, carefully peeling your arms away from your face so you could look at him. "I would never get mad at you. You know that." He whispered, moving his hand around to support your back, thumbing rubbing soothingly at your skin.

It was true, he'd never gotten mad at you before. But this was different, you felt different. You were acting different and you didn't know why. You couldn't explain to him what was wrong even if you wanted to.

The dejected look that fell across your face as you averted your gaze was telling enough. He couldn't drag that information out of you, but he could hopefully make you feel better in the meantime.

Leon smiled and leaned forward to kiss your forehead, beginning the short walk back to the bed as he muttered against your skin. "Ya hungry? You've been back here awhile.."

He felt you nod, smiling as he gently placed you down on the bed. "Lay down and I'll bring you a snack. I'll even lay with you."

Your tummy fluttered at the idea of Leon cuddling with you, so you nodded again, much more enthusiastically this time. Your tail was wagging when he returned, quickly moving to press up to his side when he sat down next to you on the bed and handed you a sliced apple and some water.

It was little things like the laundry that Leon began to notice more and more over the next couple weeks. He would come home and have to go on what was essentially a hunt to find you because your cute ass was always hiding somewhere different; under his bed, in his closet, in the laundry basket again, and even right by the front door, somehow managing to pull down a couple of his jackets from the coat rack and make a little nest to curl up in.

Leon asked Chris about it one day at work while watching you pace around in the living room from one of the cameras, worried there was some lack of enrichment that he was somehow failing to provide. You were so happy before, but now you were right back to being the same anxious mess he saw at the adoption center all those months ago.

"You should call and ask that lady. She might know something." Chris shrugged, taking a sip from a can of soda. "I don't know much about goat hybrids, let alone females hybrids." He huffed out through his nose with a smile, but Leon only tightened his lips in response. Chris did have a point though, it could be something to do with your specific breed and gender.

Once Leon got home, he quickly found you with some of his dirty clothes under the bed again before giving the old lady at the adoption center at the call. The one thought he was avoiding was the possibility of you being sick to some degree. You were part prey animal, and those types of animals tended to hide their sickness. He learned this from trying to research what was wrong with you himself.

He stepped out of the bedroom and closed the door behind himself. You would sometimes skitter off to hide somewhere else after he'd already found you once that day, so he didn't want you disappearing while he was on the phone.

It was hard for Leon to explain over the phone what you'd been doing, but once he mentioned you making a nest out of his jackets did the lady know what the problem was. You were going into heat soon.

"Heat? The hell is that?" He scratched the side of his face, turning to look at the bedroom door to make sure it was still closed. Having that whole ordeal explained to him had him running a slow hand down the entirety of his face. Guess they can kick in for farm hybrids anywhere between 21-28 years old.

Of course. You were a girl. He really should've known all this when he first got you.

He had to help you manage it too. From what the lady said, you'd be a complete mess soon since you'd already been acting strange like that for a couple weeks now.

However, Leon wasn't completely opposed to the idea of *helping* you. In fact, he was a bit excited at the prospect of getting to explore you a bit more intimately. As much as he didn't want to admit it, he liked you. Liked you. Always so cute bounding around the house, snuggling up to him at night, giving him little pecks on his cheek when he picked you up. You were so hard to resist.

Not to mention that he couldn't keep his hands from straying whenever he helped you bathe. He would spread your pussy lips apart and use the excuse of making sure everything was clean to get a better view. Your little ass wasn't any safer with his thumb rubbing circles on it whenever he had to hold your tail up. You made the most precious noises when he touched you.

Alright, he could do this. Helping you with your heat seemed easy enough. All he needed to do was just take a week or two off of work again to tend to your needs. He definitely wasn't going to turn down getting to spend extra time with you. His little lamb.

About three days into his time off from work was when your heat fully started to kick in. You woke up in the middle of the panting, sweating, and restless, helping yourself out of the bed and down the stairs into the kitchen to drink some water. It helped for a short period, but when you woke up again, you were laying in a small wet puddle on the bed.

You started to cry because you thought you'd wet yourself, waking Leon in the process. He seemed confused, trying to make out what you were babbling about until you pulled the blankets back. Seeing the puddle made you cry more and Leon had to reassure you multiple times that everything was alright.

He sat up with his back up against the headboard and pulled you onto his lap, letting you weep into his bare chest. You were clearly a bit more emotional than usual, but Leon didn't mind, especially when he could feel a small wet spot forming on his boxers from you. He just whispered sweet nothings to you while rubbing your back, silently relishing in the feeling of your wet little cunt pressing on him.

Leon kept you up on his chest even once you calmed down, explaining your predicament the same way to you as the old lady had explained to him over the phone, faintly ghosting his fingers over the wet fur surrounding your crotch all the while.

He occasionally moved his hand around to pet and squeeze your fluffy ass cheeks, rub his thumb over your asshole again, or to stroke your tail, gauging your reactions. More emotional, even more sensitive.

You sighed and gasped at every touch, eyes having closed at some point during his explanation. Leon seemed to understand what was going on with you, so you didn't see much reason to worry. He'd make sure you were okay.

"You just need a little extra loving this week. That seem okay?" Leon hummed when you nodded, bringing his hand back down to part the fur covering your pussy. "Good. Who doesn't want some extra love, right?"

You jolted a bit when his index finger began to run up and down through your dripping folds, only relaxing again once his other hand came up to rub between your shoulder blades. "Easy, girl, easy..."

Your legs naturally parted further for him, tail staying lifted. "That feel good, little lamb?" Leon whispered, adding his middle finger to continue stroking your folds when you gave him a small moan in response.

"Yeah it does.. yeah..." A groan rumbled deep in Leon's chest, rubbing the tips of his fingers over your slit as slick consistently leaked from it. It had already started to drip down past your clit, saturating the fur on your stomach before eventually dripping onto his boxers, right above his bulge. It was wet from before, but feeling the new spot form was driving him insane.

Despite not being able to see it, the man spread your outer lips apart. He groaned when you whined and lifted your hips slightly, eyebrows furrowing again when your tail wagged a couple times.

"You like that?" Leon breathed out a low chuckle as he moved his fingers down to stroke your wet clit. "Like when Mr. Kennedy plays with you like this?"

"I-oh-.. yes, sir.." Leon paused to pull you up a bit further on his chest to kiss you, fingers quickly returning to massage your clit. You didn't quite know how to kiss back, so you just did your best to follow his lead. The kisses on your lips made you feel warmer than you already were.

His free hand had moved down your back to your tail, grabbing it firmly to so he could lightly tug on it. Your moans only increased in volume at that, panting with your lips still pressed on his. You were steadily leaking now, the combined feeling of his fingers on your clit while he stroked your tail causing you to gush. His fingers and the top of his palm were completely drenched.

"Such a good girl~..." Leon sighed, moving his fingers off your clit so he could pet the fur around your pussy. "You're so soft here, baby.."

You'd been blushing already, but his sweet words were only making it worse. Your pussy was aching now, hips jerking back subconsciously for his touch.

"Hmm? What is it, sugar?" He knew what you wanted, he just wanted to hear your delicate voice again. "P-please-.. keep playing with me, Mr. Kennedy..."

Oh, you were just darling. "Atta girl, using your big girl words.." Leon smirked, moving his index and middle fingers back to rub your clit. Your head was growing foggy now, face buried in the juncture of his neck to breathe in his scent. It was so strong there, musky and warm, reminded you of cinnamon.

He dipped his middle finger into your wet hole down to the first knuckle accompanied by a particularly rough tug to your tail, pulling a squeal from you in the process.

"I know, oh, I know~..." Leon cooed quietly into your right ear. His hot breath tickled, making your ear flick forward. "You're so tight, baby.. Squeezing around my big finger..."

He slowly sunk his finger into you further. Your legs were trembling on either side of his waist, small hands grasping onto his pecs as breathy moans and whimpers poured from your lips. Once he curled his finger, you came, whole body shaking as you let out a cry.

Such a pretty sight for Leon, watching you drool onto his chest, all dumb from just a finger. He could get used to this.

With lots of encouraging words and caresses to your tail he was eventually able to get two fingers into you, pumping them in and out of you, curling them every so often just to hear you whine for him.

The fullness was so new to you, and with the man filling your senses combined with the sensitivity your heat provided, it wasn't long before you were clamping down on his fingers again, cumming for the second time with a weak gasp that fell into whimpering and panting.

"There ya go.. easy, girl.." Leon moved his hand away from your tail to push your ear closer to his lips, kissing the soft inside as he whispered into it. He carefully removed his fingers from you to bring into his mouth, swapping his hands so the other was now flat on your lower back. Your slick tasted so sweet, like honey on his tongue. He'll be tasting more of that later.

He planted one last kiss to your lips before shifting down on the bed so he could lay back down, arms tightly wrapped around you as he rolled onto his side.

You fell asleep in no time, the sound of Leon's steady heartbeat soothing your fast one back to a regular pace.

You must've been feeling the effects of your heat come the next morning, considering you slept until the late afternoon. You just seemed more fatigued, totally understandable.

Before you'd woken up, Leon managed to do a bit more research of his own. He wanted to stay informed on how this whole heat thing would go, taking note of the various effects; hypersensitivity to touch and sound, fatigue, cravings, increased libido, lactation?, clinginess, flushed skin, and that excessive slick would last throughout the whole heat. Everything else would come and go in waves, apparently.

He was sitting on the couch, phone in his hands when you emerged from the bedroom, rubbing at your eyes with a small yawn. Without saying a word, you walked over and stood in front of his legs up. Leon could only smile as you crawled up onto his lap, pushing yourself underneath his arms.

You had your back flush against him, leaning your head back so it was resting between his pecs. Thankfully your horns were short enough that they didn't poke him.

Your furry legs were parted around his, arms hanging loosely at your sides with your tail tucked beneath your butt. There, you fell asleep again.

The man placed one hand on your leg to play with your soft fur, turning his attention back to his phone as he continued to read. Soon he was looking down at you, an idea in mind. He shook your leg a bit to see if you would wake up and you didn't even stir. Fantastic.

Smirking, Leon opened the camera on his phone and flipped it so it was front-facing. He'd gotten pictures of you in the past, usually more candid photos of you cuddling with him, but nothing like this.

He moved his hand from your leg to your crotch, parting the fur with his fingers to reveal your still dripping pussy. It was always nice to look at the cute pictures he'd gotten of you when he's at work or on a mission, so what's the harm in getting just a few more? He already knew he'd be missing this when he had to return to work.

Leon made sure to get the wet spot you were forming on his sweatpants in view, taking some pictures with and without his fingers caressing your glistening folds. He brought the phone up to give the photos a good look, smirk widening before bringing it back down to focus more on your breasts.

Lactation. They did seem a bit more pronounced than usual. Taking a simple video wouldn't hurt, right?

Once pressing record, Leon rubbed his free hand across your chest, gently massaging one breast at a time. He circled his index finger around one of your nipples before giving it an experimental pinch, his breath hitching when couple droplets of milk beaded from it. Oh wow.

He massaged the one breast a bit more firmly before moving to pinch your nipple again, groaning to himself as a few more droplets beaded and collected on his thumb.

Leon placed the phone down after ending the recording, hurriedly placing both hands on your breasts as he began to massage both of them a bit more firmly. Pinching both your nipples made you whimper in your sleep, though he barely registered it when his eyes were flooded with the sight of more milk droplets falling onto his fingers.

Jesus, thats amazing. He swallowed dryly, only continuing for a minute more until deciding to give your probably very sensitive breasts a break and let you sleep.

You woke up when Leon had to move you off of his lap, whining as you watched him stand up from the couch. "I'll be right back, little lamb." He shushed you, placing you on your side with your head on one of the plush decorative pillows. He needed to take care of his hard-on before he exploded and he can't really do that with your hot and wet little cunt pressing right on it.

The rest of the day was spent with Leon holding you up with one arm while he did chores, your head on his shoulder. You whined and complained and cried until he picked you up, wanting to stay as close as possible to the man.

Something about your heat must kick in at night because you were more awake after the sun had set, clinging to Leon like your life depended on it. You didn't understand, but something in you ached, you *needed* him. It was hard convey, so you just went back to whining and complaining as he got ready for bed.

"Baby, you gotta let me brush my teeth I-" he was cut off when you suddenly fondled him through his sweatpants. His scent was strong down here, you really liked it. The man spit into the sink before reaching down to place a firm hand atop your head. "Hey hey, careful with the equipment."

You giggled and wrapped your arms around his waist, the side of your face squished against his stomach with your tail wagging happily. He hummed and finished brushing his teeth. "Alright, go and hop in bed. Go on." He shooed you away with a playful grin, giving your ass a gentle smack when you turned to trot off.

Reaching around, you rubbed over the spot where he smacked your butt, looking over your shoulder at him for a brief moment. It made your tummy flutter like before.

You crawled into the bed and watched the bathroom door until Leon walked out, smile immediately returning as he walked over to his side of the bed. He got in next to you and sighed, laying with his arms behind his head. His eyes were closed but he could just tell you were leaning over him.

"What's up, love?" Leon hummed, peaking one eye open to look up at you. You weren't tired, you were achey. You can't sleep when you were achey. "D'ya need somethin'?"

You thought for a moment before nodding. "Yes-.. yeah.."

"Whaddya need then? You know how to use your words." Leon closed the one eye, a smug smirk tugging at the corner of his lips as he felt you move to sit on his chest.

"Will you-... uh.. will you play with me again, Mr. Kennedy?" He could feel your tail wagging, soft white fur rubbing side to side across his skin.

He raised an eyebrow, yet his eyes remained closed. "Ask nicely, sugar."

You groaned, eyebrows furrowing with frustration. You wanted him to look at you but his eyes were closed, now he was making you repeat yourself. So mean. "Please, Mr. Kennedy..."

"Please what?" Leon's laugh only frustrated you more, tears threatening to spill from your eyes as you struggled to think. "Please play with me!"

Noticing your shaky tone, Leon opened one eye again, smirk falling to a kind smile. "Okay, alright, don't get your panties in a bunch."

"...my what?" You sniffled, blinking away your tears as he sat up onto his elbows. "Don't worry about it. Can you hop off for just a second, sweets?"

You nodded and slid off to the right, watching him shimmy off his sweatpants, left fully naked with a semi. He rolled onto his side and moved closer to you, pressing his hand to your chest to gently guide you to lay down.

"I'll play with ya real nice.." He grunted, watching your legs part for him as he slotted his head between them. He was craving the taste of that honey-sweet slick on his tongue, and after placing his left hand around the inside of your thigh, right hand spreading you open, he dove in.

Not wanting to waste a single second, he began to greedily lap at your folds, moaning in tandem with you as he swallowed every drop of slick you were oh so graciously offering to him. Your soft fur tickling his face was the last thing he was thinking about, tongue tracing every perfect inch of your cunt.

Your moans and gasps were music to his ears, chuckling into your cunt as he looked up to your face. So blissed out already. You'd be the death of him, though he'd die a happy man.

Leon wrapped his lips around your clit, swirling his tongue around it as he gently sucked. You were wiggling a lot, you needed to stay still.

Pulling away with a growl, he sat up on his knees and grabbed both your ankles with his hand. He lifted them up so your ass was lifted slightly from the bed before diving back down into your cunt. That was way better.

While his right hand held your legs up, his left hand wandered down to your puckered hole, occasionally dipping the tip of his thumb into it following a few circles around the rim. It was already wet enough from the mixture of your slick and his spit. Plus, it was right there just waiting to be toyed with.

His cock was throbbing for you, desperate to feel your tight, silky walls wrapped around him. He pulled his mouth away from you after a minute with a gravelly laugh, taking a moment to enjoy the sight of you with your legs held up, crossed at the ankles, along with your weeping pussy.

He was smart enough to leave his phone close by on the nightstand, so he was able to reach over and grab it without jostling you too much. This picture was going in his wallet, that's for sure.

"Mr. Kennedyyy..." you whined, weakly attempting to pull your legs from his grasp.

"Relax," Leon tapped the bottom of your hooves with his thumb before slowly letting your legs fall back to the bed. "Mr. Kennedy just wanted to savor the view."

He sat up against the headboard, patting his lap with a smile. It took you a second to recollect yourself enough to crawl onto him, Leon helping you by offering a hand for you to balance with.

"Perfect, riiiight there.." He sat you just right so his dick settled into the part in your fur that he made, then placing his hands on the point of your hips to begin leisurely grinding you down on him. The wet shlick from his dick gliding through your folds was absolutely divine. He had to keep himself from plunging into you.

"Pl-ease, sir..." you brokenly whined as his tip caught your clit, causing you to jerk your hips forward.

"No need to beg, my lamb. You'll get just what you need.." He moved one hand to grab your bicep to help keep you lifted up as he positioned his cock at your hole. "I'll be so careful, as gentle as I can..."

Your face contorted in a silent cry as he began to push you down onto him, rubbing soothing circles into your hips. "You're doing so well, sugar" He grunted, "my big, strong girl~.."

Leon was so careful, just like he promised you, giving you all the time you needed to adjust and stretch to his length. Your eyes were shut tight, ears pressed back against your head as you whimpered. He made you feel so full, it really did satisfied that achey feeling you had.

"God that's so hot.." The man whispered to himself, grabbing his phone again to take a picture of the obvious bulge in your tummy from his cock, putting his hand next to it for reference. He moved his hand over it and pressed gently, listening to your drawn out whimper.

"Oh I bet you're- fuck- just loving that, huh baby girl?" Leon growled at the feeling of your walls wrapped around him, slick started to leak down his shaft and to his balls.

Wanting to give you a bit more time, he started to grind you on him again. "Gah- noo, too- ngh~.. too full, Mr. Kennedy.."

"Yeah?" Leon purred, swiping his tongue across his bottom lip as he watched your face. "Too full?"

You nodded with a whimpered out "yes", hands clenched in fists at your sides, unsure of where to put them.

"But you're making Mr. Kennedy feel so good, sweetheart.." He barely lifted you up before letting you slide back down to the base, hands hovering close to your waist.

"...yeah..?" You panted, body starting tremble with adrenaline, nipples perked up. "Soooo good.." Leon responded, hunching over to pull one of your nipples into his mouth. Your hands flew to his arms, digging your nails into his skin as you gasped.

The man growled again at the taste of what little milk he got, furrowing his brow as he started to lift you up and down on his cock by holding onto your sides.

Your pussy squelched and dripped around his cock, dragging moan after moan from your beautiful lips. All he could do was focus on bouncing you now, leaning back to watch his cock disappear into your fur-covered cunt each time he dropped you down onto it.

He almost laughed when he saw your ears bouncing with you, but he didn't want to make you feel embarrassed. No, he'll save that for later when he shows Chris the pretty pictures and video he took of you.

Your walls quivered and clenched around him, tip bumping into your cervix, leaving him grunting as he neared his own high. Pulling out was going to be a difficult task, you cradled his cock so well.

He couldn't get you pregnant, right? No, surely not.

"Mr- ah! Mr. Kennedy..!" Your voice warbled, crying out for him as your tensed up with your orgasm.

"Oh shit.. yeah, yeahhhhh~..." Leon let out a strained groan as you tightened around him like a vice, rutting into you a few more times before spilling his load.

Most of it spilled out and around his cock since he continued to bounce you shallowly on it for a few seconds longer.

You breathed heavily as you tried to catch your breath, leaning forward to fall against his chest with a whine.

The two of you sat for awhile, Leon just soaking in the euphoria of it all. Soon, he delicately lifted you off and laid you next to him, brushing a couple stray strands of hair from your sweaty forehead.

He cleaned you off, but not before getting one last picture of your spent cunt dripping with his cum.

The man'll wait until tomorrow morning to get you in the shower with him. For now, he'll just pull you closer to him, pet the back of your hair while you sleep.

There's still about a week more of this heat of yours, then he'll have to head back to work. He'd stay home forever if it meant taking care of you.

Thinking back, that old lady from the adoption center was right. You did end up being the perfect little lap pet.

#leon kennedy x reader #leon kennedy #leon kennedy x you #leon s kennedy x reader #resident evil #leon s kennedy x you #leon scott kennedy x reader #leon s kennedy #leon kennedy smut #leon s kennedy smut #leon kennedy fanfic #leon x reader #re4 leon #leon smut #leon s kennedy x fem!reader #resident evil leon #leon kennedy x reader smut #leon kennedy x fem reader #leon kennedy fic #leon kennedy x y/n #leon kennedy x f!reader #leon s kennedy x y/n

[velvetures]

Helluuuu!! I saw your post about sending requests and mine is actually a really simple one cause I don't have a creative but I just though about a ghost hurt/comfort story

Little Secrets

A/N: So this is very self-indulgent... I hope you don't mind. I think there are quite a few people who struggle with taking meds for depression/anxiety or feel guilty for it. Me included. Hopefully, this helps everyone feel valid, seen, and supported. Summary: Task Force 141 is where you belong. But it doesn't make the work easy by any means. You finally get the help you need and try hiding it. Ghost notices and is the one who sets you straight. T/W: depression/anxiety themes, medication, guilt, insecurity of reader, fem reader, and I'm sure I've missed something, so let me know.

photo by: pedropcl

You couldn't keep fighting it for any longer.

Staring down at the two orange bottles of pills in your hands and the directions packets in the other, you felt like you'd failed despite the psychiatrist you'd spoken to reassure you that this was certainly not a failure. Your brain kept refuting that this was a step in the right direction. Working as a professional and legal murderer should've meant you had no feelings. No failures of regulating your emotions or having such miserable trouble falling asleep at night. That nice woman who'd put the prescription in for you said it would take two to three weeks to see a difference. It felt like no time, yet an eternity all at once. Relief felt so far away, but insignificant compared to other people you often compared your personal struggles with.

You weren't homeless, you could eat without worrying, you had clothes and shoes all of the time, and never needed to wonder if you would have enough money to take care of your responsibilities. Education hadn't been a problem, you were well-respected despite being a woman in such a male-dominated field and kept up with your work extremely well. At least, when your brain decided to deny that you had the ability to do anything. Or... repeatedly try to convince you that nothing you did was worth a damn or actually made you useful. Vicious cycles of fighting with your own brain, knowing that you shouldn't feel or think this way but have no strength or way of stopping. None of the "hacks," meditations, or affirmation bullshit touched that panicky feeling you had mere minutes after laying down at night.

The pills shaking around in your hands were your last resort. And they made you feel so fucking embarrassed as you tucked them in your pockets before entering back into HQ. Praying to god that none of the 141 would see you with them or hear that slight sound of them rattling in their bottles. By grace or luck, you were able to avoid all of them and got back to your quarters to stash them under your bed in a small ammo box repurposed for some personal belongings. The directions you'd thrown away on your drive back, just taking a picture of them for reference and ditching the paper copies so you wouldn't have to keep track of those.

"This better fucking help," You breathe out heavily to yourself.

Staring up at the ceiling and almost dreading having to take one tonight before bed and the other when you wake up the next morning. Daily reminders of how you couldn't be hard and cold like the others. Cool and collected like Gaz, confident like Soap, unaffected like Ghost, or just so very reliable like Price. It made you feel like the weak link needing support. You'd never needed it before, and within two years you'd suddenly realized that your own mind was winning in a fight you'd never even been aware of fighting in the first place.

Keeping all of them in the dark about this would be safest. If they didn't need to question your stability, then it wouldn't feel like such pressure to perform. And hopefully, after a few weeks, things might start to shift a little. Maybe enough to where you could begin sorting out the other problems without the image of a cluttered attic representing the state of your head. Taking care to not raise the alert of the 141 wouldn't be easy. Always noticing everything out of sheer training and sharpened instincts. Having no other good ideas... You just settled on doing everything you could to keep your little secrets under wraps.

In the following couple of days, you’d become adjusted to the routine of taking your medications on the surface level. While the one tasked with easing you anxiety and depression wasn’t going to take effect for quite a while longer the other -a sleeping aid- was definitely making a significant impact. You were able to actually fall asleep and stay that way, problem was, with a couple missions impending in the near future, you were getting concerned that if you took them when you were supposed to -on a schedule- that staying awake would be next to impossible. And if you didn’t take them at all… you didn’t want to deal with the consequences of breaking a much more healthy habit.

And the reason you were so worried about the missions was because of a reoccurring problem that the 141 began finding you falling victim to. Thankfully you were all on leave, making it a lot more acceptable, but they still began walking into different rooms around HQ to see you sleeping soundly. No matter the noise level, temperature in the room, or the space you’d fit yourself into. And no one was quite as intrigued with your sudden change in behavior was the Lieutenant.

Ghost liked things to have order, and often used regiment or habit as a very small form of comfort when he felt that his physical situation was one that could be trusted. And while the others just thought you’d found a new safety in HQ and enjoyed sleeping somewhere safe, Ghost could see that something much different was happening. Your sleeping wasn’t a new habit.

It appeared far too quickly, and you oftentimes didn’t look like you had much control over it. There had already been three times where he’d watched you fall asleep on one of the guys late in the evening without as much as a single attempt to fight the drowsiness. While Ghost didn’t like to think that he cared that much about you, he found himself paying even closer attention to you than he had before.

“There she goes…” Soap chuckled quietly, pointing to you on the couch; head laying in Captain Price’s lap, eyes closed and sleeping deeply with your arms tucked against your chest and lying on your side.

Price had a loving hand on your head, and had been idly petting your hair much like a father would despite being hardly of age to act it. Yet, Ghost felt that Price’s warmth towards you wasn’t the entire reason you had yet again fallen asleep before 11 o’clock. Purposefully he’d been keeping count, and this was the fifth time in a week. More than enough to raise alarm with the others… but he was still waiting silently for someone else to bring it up.

Price chuckled, glancing down at you. “I carried her to bed last time,” His pointed look at each of them was more than enough to guess what he was about to say. “Someone else needs to, otherwise you’ll be voluntold.”

Ghost internally groaned. Not only was that kind of behavior what made people soft, but it also made seeing through the mask of affection far more difficult. But before Soap or Gaz took initiative, the Lieutenant was up on his feet and approaching Price with every intention of being the one to take you back to your quarters. Looks got thrown around the room, and Ghost wasn’t stupid enough to not notice. It was the first time he’d gotten this involved, and there was certainly a spectacle of him picking you up carefully enough to not wake you.

Even though he was quite certain it would take a lot more to get you up than that.

Your door opened up into warm, glowing light from a little lamp you’d left switched on. He catches sight of your quilt on the bed and the little rug that made the polished concrete floors look so much less like the jail cell his own quarters resembled. The whole room smelled like you too. Sweet, and a lot like cinnamon rolls. Probably some type of candle or other smelly thing that you had thought was worth spending money on. Plenty more reasons added to the list of what separates the two of you. Debating your differences or the reason you preferred your quarters smelling like a bakery wasn’t his purpose for bringing you back to your room.

But even with laying you down on your bed and pulling the sheet and blankets over you, Ghost wasn’t seeing any of the possible signs that could lead him to better understand what was going on with you. Nothing is out of place though. Your room is pretty much spotless save for a sleep outfit you’d laid out for tonight, but wouldn’t have the chance to get changed into. And right about the time Ghost decided he’d been looking into your business too much, he bumped into your nightstand.

It knocked something off into the floor, bouncing under the bed and clattering a bit.

Ghost sighed, eyes rolling up towards the ceiling and having quite the frustrating experience of dealing with the sudden responsibility of making sure you were cared for. And that meant picking up whatever shit he’d been too busy watching you, to not knock somewhere under the bed he’d have to fish around and find. So he knelt down and pulled his phone from his pocket and used the flash to spot a tube of chapstick near the bed frame foot.

That, and an ammo box with your initials spray-painted onto the side of it.

Compared to everything else, it didn’t look like it fit amongst the rest of your things. And damn if Ghost didn’t have a sudden gut feeling that it was the reason you’d been sleeping so much. Why you’d been so out of character; Setting his teeth on edge. Reaching out… Ghost grabbed the lip balm and got back to his feet and sit it down on the nightstand where it couldn’t be as easily disturbed again.

“G’night kid.” His whispers fell on your unconscious ears as your Lieutenant dismissed himself from your room and back down to his own space.

***

You woke up in your bed after falling asleep somewhere unintentionally, for the who-knows-which time. Just like before, left in whatever clothes you’d been wearing and all of your blankets tucked up tightly around you. It left a lingering sense of disappointment in yourself. A little pinch of sadness rested like a rock in your stomach. You couldn’t really remember falling asleep to begin with. If you ended up keeping this little habit going, there’d be no doubt you would risk everyone on a mission falling asleep at the drop of a hat.

All because of this damn medicine.

One that you needed to grab from under your bed, and sneak into the kitchen so that you could have some water and food. You'd seen one of the tens of sites -during your research of your pills- that it would help digest it better... whether it actually worked or not wasn't something you could tell. But either way, a doctor had said it, and plenty of people taking it agreed. So you grabbed the pill, shoved it in your pocket, and went out into the kitchen to find a glass.

The floors felt cold even with socks on. And while a steady rain poured from the sky, you were more heated with concern that someone would notice you. Notice your sleeping issues, the way you crawled around in the morning for the first couple hours before the pills began working, or the shady way you hid your face in the refrigerator while swallowing down your medication. Surely the stuff had to be working since you'd not been struggling to get your work done throughout the day. But maybe that was the hard part. Taking pills to fix your head, but needing your brain to recognize whether or not you felt better.

"Oh god help me..." You mutter quietly, searching past Soap's energy drinks and Gaz's revolting jug of green juice to find something you could make for breakfast.

A cabinet door shutting behind you nearly stopped your heart. Seeing Ghost's dark eyes evaluating your reaction didn't make your heart rate drop back to normal either. In his typical day-off wear, a pair of well-worn jeans hung low on his hips and an old SAS t-shirt you'd seen him wear countless times stretched tightly over his chest and shoulders. No doubt he'd been up since four. Quite certain he never actually slept, you wondered momentarily if he could benefit from the sleeping tabs you took. But quickly that got covered in anxiety when his eyebrows furrowed at your expression.

"Nothin' to eat?" He asked with a smooth voice, nodding to the refrigerator door you still held open dumbly.

"N-no... just a bunch of shit drinks." You reply, letting the door shut and noticing that he's got a brown bag with grease spots at the bottom corners. He just nods, looking off into the empty common room. Like he's trying to think of the right way to talk shit about both Gaz and Soap's bad choices in hydration.

"Sit. I've got enough to share." He jerks his head to the other side of the counter, turning that wide back to face you, leaving no room for argument.

You're swallowing down a thick bite of a bagel with god-knows-what in British style as Ghost brews tea. Silently making you a cup as well and standing stiffly with both milk and sugar on the table with the expectancy that you tell him how you like it. Not really unusual behavior from him... typically you get along just fine. But it's the fact that he watches so heavily.

"Just sugar, please." You say through a mouthful, covering your mouth with your hand.

He nods, but then starts putting the sugar in, mentioning something about fucking Americans before sliding the mug closer to you with a couple of fingers. Those damned eyes are just as observant as ever when you crumple up the finished sandwich before he even steeps his own drink. It made you nervous. Wondering if those pills were helping with your appetite too. The psychiatrist said it could; Something about feeling less stressed can give your body more opportunities to worry about being hungry. It was one of those facts on the medication packet you'd taken pictures of.

"Plans for today, L.t.?" You ask, sipping the tea, eyes grazing over the cup rim as you stare at the back of his head.

Mask rucked up high enough to eat and drink freely he nods his head. Leaning his lower back against the edge of the kitchen counter

and resting one hand back.

“Yeah, you?”

You shake your head uselessly, “No. Maybe some laundry, but I’m not really even due. Wouldn’t be worth the water in the machine.”

He hums lowly, taking a drink of his tea. You can hear his swallow and a steady exhale of air that follows. Whether it’s him cooling off the steaming cup or just breathing, you cant tell. But it’s so steady that you actually mimic the tempo of it. Feeling the way it expands and contracts your lungs smoothly. Almost settling. Much like L.t. himself in that way. Terrifying until you see just how easily you can be around him. He’s always quiet and composed, even when there’s plenty of reasons not to be. You wished it was something you could do too. Maybe it would help the task force if you didn’t have to spend your energy keeping yourself at an unnoticeable level of consistent panic.

“Know anythin’ about cars?”

“No,” You’re quick to add on. “But I can learn fast.”

You watch the way the back of his mask slides down further and how his head tilts from side to side to settle it comfortably. Seeing the rest of the tea get dumped into the sink and his own sandwich bag get crumpled up. He’s silent as he washes the cups used and methodically cleans up after the pair of you. Even reaching across the counter to swipe a couple of crumbs off your t-shirt with a subtle nod to his own satisfaction.

“I like to hear it,” His hand palmed at the back of your neck. Gently tugging you off the barstool, and grabbing your jacket to toss it to you. “You’re comin’ with me then.”

Learning about cars actually became quite easy… when Ghost was teaching.

He explained the parts clearly, what his goal was, and didn’t get pissed when you handed him the wrong size socket wrench on the first try. On the other end, you’d only been working next to him -well, sitting on the wheel well- for a couple of hours when you started getting tired again. Almost helpless to your own frustration, you yawned. Fighting the sleepy feeling valiantly, and taking as detailed of mental notes as possible while watching Ghost’s greased knuckles tighten a bracket holding his master cylinder in place. Surely it was a cosmic joke. L.t. was fixing his brakes, and it felt like someone had stomped on yours.

“Hand me that,” He muttered, head stuck down in a gap between his engine block and alternator, still effortlessly pointing at a pair of channellocks. “And get in for me.”

You did as he asked, yawning one more time. Trying to blame your sudden exhaustion on the rain pelting the metal roof above you. Sliding into the back of the car and kicking off your boots to let them rest on the concrete floor outside of it. Attempting to be polite by not getting any dirty spots on the mats of the -very original- DB4 GT Aston he’d given you trust to even sit in. The leather seats help you glide into the driver’s seat, giving you a very slim look at Ghost through the gap in the hood.

“What exactly am I doing in here?” You ask, loud enough so that he can hear you.

It prompts his head to pop up from inside the engine bay, giving you those same, observant eyes from earlier. He looks back down, reaches in and taps on something harshly, then looks back to you.

“Roll it over.”

The car starts effortlessly. Practically purring under you, and echoing in the metal hangar making it sound all the more ruggedly beautiful. The whole car hums, and as you watch Ghost go back to focusing on something in front of him, you feel the heat come through the dash. It’s a perfect storm that lulls you even closer to sleep. A dangerous thing, considering the one man who could figure out what was wrong with you was the only one close enough to see. Hell, you weren’t even sure he didn’t already have it figured out, and wasn’t planning some way to tell Price about it and have you removed from the task force.

Unfit for duty.

You could just picture it now. Red pen in Price’s handwriting detailing your medications and how it was grounds from honorable discharge. Perfectly common in the military, but it felt like death in your hazy mind.

Not that you could fight it for much longer.

Because by the time the Lieutenant had finished his little bit of work, he came into sight of you, slumped over in his driver’s seat with you lips parted and your arms wrapped around yourself. Nothing short of a pretty sight for sore eyes. His car had damn near rocked you sleep, and for once, Ghost felt his heart couldn’t take the feeling of waking you up. He’d watched you all morning. Gauging your reactions, your lack of conversation, and the way you tried to keep from showing him any sign of being tired. Initially he wanted to be angry. Mad that you were hiding something from the team… from him. But seeing you sleeping there, he knew there was a fight in your head. A fight he knew well. So he left you there to sleep.

Turning off the engine to keep from filling the garage with exhaust, but pulling up one of the small space heaters close to the open door to keep you from getting cold while he worked. Making small adjustments, looking over future jobs, and even entertaining the thought of adjusting you over in the seat a little bit so that he could drive-test his handiwork. But that didn’t come, because Soap arrived with a grin on his face and no idea that you were sleeping.

Until Ghost told him to lower his goddamn voice.

“Sleepin’ again bonnie?” Soap chuckled to himself, looking at you before back to Ghost. “How long’s she been out?”

Ghost shrugged, “Few hours.” Really he hadn’t been watching the clock; far too comfortable to concern himself with it.

“I know you’ve been tryin’ to figure it out,” He started back, resting his hands on the hood. “Why she’s doin’ this so much. Have ya’?”

Ghost shook his head. “No. Not yet, but I’m not concerned.”

Johnny laughed softly, slapping Ghost on the back and beginning to walk away. “I never took you for the type to be worried, L.t.. But since you’re so reassurin’ I’ll take it t’heart.”

Any way Ghost came at that statement, he felt himself on the end of a losing battle. Maddening. Losing a fight wasn’t in his nature. Even if that meant he had to take some of the most fucked up torture to reach it. But what bothered him more than Soap knowing he was concerned about you was the knowing you weren’t okay.

Days out in the field were bad enough. But when they got worse, you were always there. And maybe you didn’t feel much better than he did, yet you always held softness. For everyone. For him. A kind of understanding and acceptance that wasn’t required, or exactly approved of in this line of work. You could keep a secret better than anyone he knew, and while he didn’t burden you with a single one of his, there was always the foreign comfort in being able to come with them if he wanted to. Hiding your own feelings wasn’t right though.

Selfish maybe. Thinking it was okay to linger in his own issues and still demand you give him yours.

But hiding behind his rank and position over you meant he could make that kind of decision without any questioning. A type of don’t fucking ask why that saved him face when carrying you from his car back to your room after you still hadn’t woken up nearly seven hours after passing out in his car. Shouldering open the door just like the night before, he expected to see nothing out of place. The same lip balm on the side table, the same rug, and maybe a different night shirt since you’d mentioned doing laundry. But there was something out of place. And damn if it didn’t make his gut twist up in a ugly kind of feeling. One he’d not felt in years, but certainly recognized as soon as he spotted the orange pill bottle sitting on your bed.

It made sense.

The sleeping. The different behavior. The reason you’d practically swallowed a whole fucking sandwich for breakfast when a cup of tea would typically be all you stomached until afternoon. And thank god… you were finally starting to look a bit fuller. Getting prettier every day, and he finally had something to place the blame on. All hesitations about you being able to handle the upcoming missions faded once he got a good look at the bottle. A medication, funnily enough, that Ghost was well-acquainted with. It wasn’t part of his own personal line-up in his medicine cabinet, but it was one he’d taken for a while.

You’d been in need of some help, and luckily for you, it hadn’t been nearly as hard for you to get help as it had been for him. Actually asking for what you needed -and while frustrating- decided to try and manage it without anyone else’s knowledge. Ghost couldn’t think of a better scenario. Realizing that the only thing he needed to know about was your side effects, and how to best manage them alongside you. Thank fuck you weren’t sick… well… sick in a way that someone couldn’t help you with. A way that he couldn’t help.

So, he sit down in on the floor in your room and waited.

Your wake-up call came in the form of sleepy eyes opening to see the massive silhouette of Ghost sitting in your floor. Dark eyes much softer than you’d expected, and a much more concerning sight of your pill bottle resting in his massive hand. A sight that sat you up ramrod straight in your bed, gasping softly and staring at him with wide eyes.

“Don’t tell Price.” You sputter, rushing to get the words out of your mouth. Terrified that he’s going to get up and run out the door. Just sitting long enough to let you get a good look at his plan before exposing you to the Captain as some sick kind of satisfaction.

His eyes narrow a little, “Don’t tell Price?” His voice sounds hoarse. “Don’t tell Price?”

It sounds that much more broken and gritty when he repeats it. Standing up to meet you a bit more level, fisting the pills in his hand, and lightly making them shake. He can’t understand your fear. Completely blind to the fact that -much like him- you’re fearful of being shamed. Misunderstood for it. Or worse. Ghost can’t recognize why you’re looking at him as if he’s going to be the reason your life ends. When in all reality, you don’t see how he’s trying to figure out why you didn’t feel safe coming to him.

“You’ve been takin’ these… fallin’ asleep on everyone, and-and struggling for who knows how the fuck long…” It’s hard for Ghost to keep his tone even, thinking about it. “Why didn’t you tell me. you should’ve told me. Said something. Anything.”

Caving in on itself, your chest burns. Eyes locked on his and scanning every confusing moment of emotion and each shift as it comes and goes.

“You wouldn’t…”

Ghost takes a fast step closer, “I wouldn’t what?” His hand drops the pills on the bed and quickly grabs your face, soft fingers pressing into your jaw. “I wouldn’t get it? I wouldn’t do what you needed me to? Wouldn’t let you sleep on me?”

Your lips open in surprise at the softness in him. All of him. The gentleness of his fingers, how his eyes lay silkily on you. Even his voice, falling so softly despite it’s rough tone and deep sound, feels like he’s terrified of you being scared away from him. Like that gentle hold on your face is all he can manage, and he’d rather do anything other than let you pull away from it.

“You have to know…” he starts weakly. “You have to know that - that I would do… anything you needed me to. Anything to make this easier for you. Even somethin’ small, I’d do it for you, honey.”

reblogs & comments are appreciated 🤎

#simon ghost riley #ghost x reader #cod #cod mwii #simon riley x reader #simon ghost x reader #velvetures writes #velvetures #anon <3 #velvetures answers #anon answered #anon ask

[vernons-girl]

never stopped loving you | lee dino

angsty but sweet,wc:0.9k

A few months back you broke up with your boyfriend Dino.

And you might ask, why would you break up with such a nice boyfriend ?

Well, you were not feeling good. You did not feel like yourself anymore, and nothing felt right, nor fully real. So you decided you needed to spend some time alone to focus on yourself and only yourself because you did not want to hurt anyone’s feeling or make them feel bad about the way you were feeling yourself. So you broke up with your boyfriend. Because he was affected by your state, and you noticed it.

Sometimes you would have mood swings and push him away, he wanted to help you though, he really did, but you knew he could not. He was not the problem but you did not want your relationship with him to become a part of it, so you put an end to it.

The thing is, during that phase you were angry, sad and in pain, but mostly angry. So that resulted in you breaking up with him in a fit of rage without giving him any real motive for your actions, he knew you were not feeling good, so he did not ask more questions and left.

But now, a few months later you felt better, but also guilty. Guilty about the way you treated him at the end of your relationship and guilty about how you broke up with him. So one evening you decided to text him and asked if he wanted to grab breakfast with you, and very much to your surprise, he immediately agreed.

So here you were, waiting for him at your non-officially designated table in your favorite signature café. You were anxiously chewing on your bottom lip, scrapping of the lip balm you had put on earlier in the morning, playing with your fingers you did not see him coming by your table.

“You will never get rid of that habit, won’t you ?” a voice said, you looked up to be met with him, Dino.

He had not changed much, his hair was slightly longer and his efforts to the gym had obviously paid off but he was still the same, he was still your Dino.

"Hello ? Earth to Y/N ?” he waved his hand in front of you, getting your attention back even though your mind stuck to the way your name rolled out of his tongue.

“Yeah sorry.. Please sit down !” you said pointing to the empty spot in front of you.

And he did just that, “Have you ordered yet ?” he asked, “Yes I did! I ordered for you, I hope you still like the same things from here though, I should’ve asked I am sorry !” you apologized, feeling your face get hotter.

He chuckled, god you had missed hearing his breathy laugh, “Don’t worry, some habits don’t change” he replied.

The waiter brought you guys your drinks and snacks, breaking the awkward silence that had taken place, “Enjoy your drinks.” he politely said before walking away, leaving you once again with your ex boyfriend.

“So..” he started, “Why did you want us to meet up ?” he asked.

“Well, I feel like I owe you some explanations about the last time we saw each others” you began, receiving a nod from him signaling you to continue.

“So as you know, I was not feeling the best when I ended things between us and I did not make you come here to give any excuse for what I have done, I just want - no I need to explain why I did it. I hated feeling that way but I also hated that you had to put up with it, and I know you dealt with it amazingly and the best you could, but it hurt me to see how my mental state could affect you. I did not feel like my old self, like the Y/N you fell in love with so I pushed you away before you could do the same. I thought that doing this would avoid unnecessary damages even though I was aware it was going to hurt one of us, if not both. But I felt like I had to do it for myself, for you and for us. And I know lots of time passed by but if you still love me, or at least have a tiny bit of faith left for us, I wondered if you could give me - us - another shot.. Because I miss you and I still love you, I’ve never stopped loving you.” you finished, letting out a big breath you did not know you were holding before focusing on the face of the man who was sitting in front of you.

He was smiling, that smile, you missed that too, you missed him.

“I’ve missed you too Y/N, and I’ve never stopped loving you either. I knew you were going through a rough time and I knew it was best for you and for our relationship to give you time and space. And I am glad I did.” he confessed, putting the brightest smile that had ever been on your face.

“Now get up from that sit and come sit next to me.” he said.

He pulled your closer next to him, turned your face towards his, delicately placed your chin between his fingers before lovingly, passionately kissing you, saying all the things words could not express.

#seventeen #seventeen imagines #seventeen scenarios #seventeen reactions #seventeen x reader #dino #dino imagines #dino scenarios #dino x reader

[spider999sposts]

...while I kept you like an oath. —Miguel O'Hara

🕸previous writings: part 1

🕸synopsis: miguel is done keeping you his secret

🕸tags: fem!reader × Miguel O'Hara

🕸warning: suggestive dancing, but that's about it.

🕸authors note: wanted to make up for the asshole miguel in part 1!

It's been a full week. 7 days, 9 hours, and 10 minutes ever since what had unfolded at his birthday.

And not a single day passed without Miguel watching you.

He had his eyes glued to the monitors every night. Watching you in your own universe. You stopped being a superhero, and surprisingly that did not break the canon, everyone was allowed to take breaks after all.

Everyday he watched you. He watched you go back to your boring job as a photographer in that horrid journalism job some of your variants' kind share. He watched you grab your coffee in the afternoon, and he watched you interact with your co-workers. It made his blood boil whenever he saw one of them flirting or trying to make a move on you, and yet he could do nothing about it.

Events of the last day he saw you played in his head. The words 'I don't want to be with a man who is so horrified to be with me.' played in his head over and over, like it was some broken record. You just didn't get it, did you? Perhaps he was being too rough too. He might be standoffish and harsh, but he was self aware. Once he got over his pride, guilt washed over his senses. He spent two days of the seven trying to convince himself that nothing would happen to him if you never saw each other again.

And now here he was. At 2 AM. Staring at his monitors with blood red eyes. You'd realised early on that he would be watching you through your gizmo, so you turned it off. When you did, he asked Jess to go and set up a small device to make him be able to see you. Jess told him to just talk to you, but he somehow thought this was the better idea.

He rubbed his eyes. In your universe, the time was the same. It was the weekend tommrow, you were watching that god-awful hispanic soap opera you used to watch with him. You had dozed off on the couch, while the TV was still on.

"Um, boss, this isn't healthy.." LYLA chirped. Miguel rolled his eyes and got up, waving her away. She zipped to his other side to avoid having her hologram glitch. "You should speak for once."

"LYLA."

"I am just saying. You can't keep watching through monitors like a creeper! Do you know what we do with creepers? We gouge out their peepers—"

"Spare me." He moved away from her, getting off his platform. He knew his little assistant was right though. How come a man who is so obsessed with fixing things in the whole wide multiverse, cannot even muster up the courage to love you as loudly and proudly as he could? And to admit that he's wrong?

He needed to do something. And he needed to come up with it, quick.

                                        ----

Hobie visited you queit often after what transpired. You cried on his shoulder for a while, and he did everything he knew to do to comfort you. In his odd little ways.

Today was no different. You were sitting on your couch, eating some ice cream, when Hobie portalled in. It was an odd way to enter but you've gotten used to his antics.

"Hey, Hobie. Come sit, the show is about to start—"

"Oi, listen.." He sits next to you, his colours changing then finally setting on yellow. "Let's get ya out today, huh? I have a little something planned for you."

"I don't want to go to your punk concerts, Hobie, I get too overstimulated by all the—"

He chuckled, shaking his head. "Don't worry, it ain't that," He couldn't believe he was doing this. Following orders. But he wouldn't do it if he knew it wouldn't help. "Just a little something. Some people in HQ miss you, ya know? We planned a little get together, thats all." That was half the truth at least.

You were a bit suspicious of him, but you put your ice cream aside. "Are there gonna be drinks?"

"Lots of em."

"The Unnamed?"

" 'M starting to think I got you addicted." He laughed, "Come on, get off your bum."

You 'got off your bum' and walked over to your room, changing the oversized shorts and tee to something a little more presentable. You returned after making sure your hair looked well and your face looked okay, noticing Hobie had already opened the portal.

He moved before you both could enter it, putting a blindfold around your eyes. "What's this for?"

"A kink of mine." He joked.

"I am older than you, y'know?"

"Age is a conceptual idea...unless you're a child, or something, then age is good...—I'm saying that children cannot mingle with adults even if age is—"

You laughed at his stumbling, and you patted...his chest? His shoulder? You couldn't really see. "I've got it, Hobie."

You heard him murmur under his breath, then he led you through the portal. You haven't felt this nauseous before, and it wasn't the universe-jumping.

When Hobie said some people in HQ miss you..he couldn't possibly mean him, right?

Your thoughts were intruppted when you felt the cold summer breeze on your bare skin. Hobie's hand left your shoulder, and you felt him move behind you. "Pretty chilly." And queit. A little too much.

When he removed the cloth from around your eyes, you got ingulfed in a tight embrace. By multiple people.

You could see tufts of blonde hair at your shoulder, and a pregnancy bump pressed against your side. There was also something..crawling.

When everyone loosened their grip, Mayday slid right into your arms. "Ah, that's where the crawling was coming from." You chuckled, giving her a little hug. "God, It's been a week and we already miss you." says Jess. She looked glowing. As she has the whole period of her pregnancy. A hand slung around your shoulder, "Yeah, Mayday and I missed you! Mayday especially. You know how she never eats her vegetable puree except when you feed it to her." You chuckled at Peter's comment. "I've missed you too, guys." You reached over and messed up Gwen's hair. After you caught up with your friends, a few other people came over and talked to you.

It was after a few moments that you realised that you were, once again, on the roof of the Spider Society HQ. It was a casual party it seems, like the ones you had every weekend. You looked over at Hobie and raised your brows. He grinned at you, and even though he was trying to play it cool, he knew you had him figured out. His colour changed from the usual grey to a pinkish hue.

"Hobie Brown, did you lure me here just to bring me back to the HQ?"

"A man never tells his secrets."

You chuckled, but took a long pause after. Your eyes met his for a moment.

"Did he tell you to bring me here?"

Hobie's colours went a deeper shade of pink, but he still had that stoic look on his face.

Before he could answer you, Gwen and Pavitir pushed him into the dance floor. He looked at you, almost remorseful. Just almost.

You did not see Miguel anywhere, so you just retreated to the bar, seeing that Lego Spiderman was bartending. You asked for Hobie's drink but he looked clueless to what you just ordered, so you just told him to grab you a soda. When he asked for what kind, you just set your head on the counter.

You could hear him trotting away.

You didn't want to be here. You didn't want to see him, and you knew Hobie probably has good intentions but you didn't want to return. At least this soon.

You sighed, but as soon as you raised your head, the hairs on the back of your neck stood up. Your senses were going off. Someone was watching you, and you had a pretty good idea on who it might be. Yet when you looked behind you, you saw nothing but the dancing crowd.

Unknown to you that Miguel was just a few steps away. Dodging your gaze as much as he could.

"Breath unregulated. Heartbeat rate is getting higher—"

"Give it a rest, LYLA."

"Maybe I will, but you need to go before you experience a stroke."

Bothered, he shooed her away, but she just appeared on his other side.

"Rude." She mumbled, adjusting her crooked glasses. "Come onnnn, the hard part was getting this whole thing planned right? And it's going so smoothly."

For an AI built by one of the multiverse's greatest geniuses, she had no idea how hard it was. For a man as prideful as him, admitting he is wrong is the hard part.

He just cleared his throat, and held his head up high as he made his way towards the counter.

He noticed the soda can you were sipping on, and a hum came out of him.

"No odd drinks today, It seems."

You chuckled. Sarcastically. And you didn't look at him.

'Comienzo brillante.' He thought.

He leaned on the counter, trying to get a look at you. You weren't even paying any attention to him. It bothered him, there was a feeling in his chest, clawing at him. He knows he deserves this, every action has its equal opposite reaction.

"You came back to my little club-house." That came out meaner than he meant it to be, but it was not his intention. It got you to go at him though. His features softened. Your eyes had a red hue around them, from all the crying, he presumed.

"I didn't. Hobie dragged me here."

For once in his life, Hobie listened to him. Maybe only because he realised how truly misrable Miguel was when he walked in on him watching you through the monitors.

"But you still came."

"I did not know where he was taking me." You replied shortly, putting down your soda. Miguel hummed, "I told him to bring you here."

That made you shoot a glare at him. Thank god, any reaction to his words was enough for him. It showed him that you still cared.

"Yeah, I guessed."

He raised his leg on the foot of your bar chair, and he leaned closer. This was odd. He was at a very close proximity to you, infront of everyone.

"We need to speak." He said firmly, tilting his head at you. "Do we only need to speak when you decide? What if I don't want to speak with you?" Oh, you were trying to get back at him. He couldn't lie, it irritated him. He was a patient man once, but that was long ago.

"But you do." His red irsis glanced at your lips. He was so close that you could smell his musky cologne. It took every muscle in your body not to react to him. You were furious with him, but you could not help it. Your body gave in naturally to him. Put both of you in the same room, and no matter how much you feel like you hate him, no matter how much he upset you, your attraction to Miguel was almost animalistic. Resisting him was like resisting the tides when the moon was closest to the earth.

Almost impossible.

"I–I don't." You didn't like faltering infront of him. You didn't want to show him how he has this hold on you.

Miguel reached up to your face, pushing a few strands of stray hair behind your ear. It was a gentle gesture, and a very obvious one. You pulled away, "What are you doing–"

"For God's sake–" He sighed when you pulled away. "–I...I'm trying to. I'm trying to do something."

"Do something? Miguel, it's been a week since you saw me and—and—" You stood up, your head at level with his chest. "You tell Hobie to bring me here just to play these mind games—"

"¡Dìos Mìo!, I am trying to apologise!"

That was a little too loud. He slammed his hand on the counter and the clap sound it made made some people turn their heads towards the both of you. But their stares didn't last long, Gwen had quickly moved to change the song as to distract them.

You were both staring at each other now. You were panting. His chest was heaving, you could feel his hot breath on the top of your head.

Miguel pinched the bridge of his nose, a habit he only did when he was so stressed he couldn't think straight. He took in a deep breath, calming himself down. You could see it. How his face contorted and how the veins in his forehead stopped protruding.

"I'm sorry." He mumbled, his fingers brushing against yours. "I'm sorry I called you childish, and made you feel naïve when that is not the case." He looked geniune, as geniune as the night he told you he loved you. "You were pretty reasonable. I was the one who.." He struggled a bit to spit it out, but when he did, a smile tugged at the corners of your mouth. "...who was wrong."

You weighed his words for a moment.

"Okay." is all that came out of your mouth. Miguel felt like that was not enough.

"Okay?"

"Yes, okay."

"¿Quieres volverme loco?"

[Do you want to drive me mad?]

You laughed at his question. His harsh features softened at the sound.

"I accept your apology. Is there anything else you wanted to say?" He did not acknowledge your biggest concern. If you were to return to him, you were going to do it on your terms now, not his. And so far, putting aside the face–touching and the finger–brushing, he had not came front with how your relationship was to resume.

Miguel looked across the dance floor, and Hobie gave him a small nod. A song, very familiar to the both of you began playing.

Your eyes widened but you said nothing. Miguel, though, extending his hand to you.

"I owe you a dance,."

"Ah, no, sorry, I can't. You know we can't."

"Aye, Deja de ser terca, hermosa."

[Stop being stubborn, beautiful]

His eyes were practically pleading you. And maybe, just maybe, you couldn't keep up with this tension anymore.

You let him lead you to the dance floor. You felt the eyes of everyone on the both of you. The music got louder.

Miguel's strong arms wrapped around your waist, securing you near him. You both swayed to the beat. His head was lowered enough, you could hear him mumble the lyrics, "Y hemos de darnos un beso...Encerrados en la luna"  He twirled you, then brought you back to his chest. "You're a good dancer." You mumbled to him, and he chuckled. "Thank you."

"And a good singer. Didn't know you liked to sing."

"I don't." His arms tightened around your waist, as his lips brushed against your ear. You gasped, your hand holding onto his bicep. "You can just say, I really like this song."

"Andale, eres secreto de amor..." He twirled you again, his hands seemed to get lower and lower by the minute. First they found the small of your back, then, you felt them around your hips. The beat of the song seemed to have changed completely. It was much more sensual now.

Miguel picked up on that, and he turned you around, hips grinding against yours. The friction made your legs wobble. You set your back against his hard chest, and when you did, he bucked forwards, still very much grinding against you. You could feel everyone's eyes on you, you could see how they were staring. Whispering.

"Miguel, they're watching u—" You felt his lips on your neck. He left a tender kiss under your ear, "I know." He whispered. "I thought—"

"You speak too much." He rasped out, his voice strained. You felt his hands roam around your hips again, and before you could register, he turned you around and set his forehead against yours. "I can't control myself around you. I don't like that." He began, closing his eyes. "I don't like not being in control."

"I know."

"But," His eyes opened, and this time, that look in his eyes that you couldn't decipher from last time was present. But you know what it was now.

Desire. Utter and pure desire.

"I'd rather not lose you over my pride."

That was it for you. You cupped his face, and he instantly knew what to do. With one hand pulling you in by the waist, and the other on your cheek. Your lips collided, and when they did, you forgot about space and time. He kissed you dizzy, like his only mission was to make you forget what he'd done, or at least, to make up for being such an asshole, and by the time he was done, you had already forgiven him.

"Swear on my mother, you need to get a room." came a sound from behind you. You laughed at Hobie's comment, but Miguel did not. However, he flashed you a playful, boyish grin. "For once, he is right."

"Miguel."

"Scientifically, it would make us feel better." His large palms squeezed your hips, and you squealed a little. "And you know, we should do it to make sure there are no negative underlying feelings."

"Ah."

"It would break the multiverse if we don't do it."

"And of course, the.." You imitated his voice, making it sound deeper than it actually is. "..'fate of the multiverse' is more important than everything, no?"

He cupped both your cheeks again, this tenderness was new. You could get used to this. "Not everything." He whispered.

There was a cold metal against your warm skin, you took a glance at his hand and smiled.

"You kept it."

"Ah, yes, my 'fucking' birthday gift." You shared a laugh, continuing to sway. He pulled a similar box to the one you gave him from his pocket, and handed it to you. You furrowed your brows, "What for?"

"Consider it an apology."

When you opened it, there was a ring similar to his. A promise ring just like the one you gave him.

Engraved inside was today's date. There were words engraved inside of it as well.

'Till the multiverse do us part.'

"Hm."

"You don't like it?"

"Very corny for a man like you."

"You're the one who gave me a promise ring first. We are not 17."

"And yet, you still wear it."

He chuckled at your remark.

"And yet, I still wear it."

#across the spiderverse #atsv pavitr #gabriella o’hara #gwen stacy #hobie brown #into the spider verse #lyla spiderverse #marvel #miguel o'hara #miguel spiderverse #astv miguel #miguel x reader #miguel x y/n #atsv hobie #i love miguel #hobie x y/n #miles morales #the prowler #spiderman across the verse #spiderman 2099 #spider noir #spider punk #spiderman #peter parker #peter b parker #peni parker #secret relationship #mary jane parker #marvel cinematic universe

[wonysugar]

can u make a sunoo fic?

missed you | kim sunoo

synopsis : kim sunoo, your favorite stripper from the hybe boys establishment, started missing you after a while of you not showing up, so he had a lot of things to show you when you did come see him.<3

pairing : stripper!sunoo x rich!femreader

genre : smut :]

tags : sunoo is a male stripper, ricky from zb1 mentionned, jake from enha mentionned, reader is rich but it’s like not really relevant to the story, fingering (male receiving), biiiggg mommy kink, sub!sunoo, dom!femreader

warnings : none he’s just horny

word count : 1.5k

work was rough.

sure, going to work in itself wasn’t super difficult, but it was mostly the people working with you that made it unbearable. i mean, for god’s sake, you were a superior to the most of them, the least they could do was actually listen to you, and obey you when you gave orders.

which, they didn’t.

so naturally, you felt like going somewhere special, somewhere people knew their place and didn’t talk back to you during every second of the day.

immediately upon finishing your shift, your mind wandered to one place and one place only.

hybe boys.

-

you stepped foot into the establishment and was greeted by the comforting and familiar ambience, the music and lighting welcoming you with open arms.. you particularly noticed the usual customer seemingly going absolutely crazy over three of today’s boys, hoshi and jake. the third guy, whose name was apparently ricky has probably been staying for a short amount of time, due to him not being a employee you recognize, but it’s not like he was completely new either, since he clearly knew what he was doing. it takes someone with experience to grind on a pole like that with such a lustful expression. anywho, the said girl was having the time of her life and pushing everyone out of her way and honestly? who could blame her?

as cute as the boys were, though, you came for someone else. someone who caught your oh-so-precious attention since day one. to you. this whole strip club was like a restaurant, while he was both the main course and the dessert.

you spot him, kim sunoo, sitting down at the bar, probably on his break, talking to some seemingly older man as he’s being his very touchy self as usual. that quickly ceases once he sees you approaching him, immediately ignoring the other guy with a big cute grin on his face, as he clearly just saw that man as an opportunity to get more cute hand bags. that idea was quickly killed off by seeing you though. you always knew you were his favorite.

“y/nnnn, where have you been? it’s been soo long!” he says, clinging onto your arm and pulling himself in closer to you. you, in response pat the back of his head, returning the affection in your own way.

“work, baby. i’ve been super busy lately.. i barely have any time to see you anymore.”

he pouts, making your heart skip a beat. he always knew how to act adorable for you. “i missed you.. you could have told me, you do have my number, after all.”

you hum, wrapping your arm around his fairly skinny clothed waist, admiring his look for the night. you particularly noticed that he wore a piece of almost see-through lingerie that you bought him a few months back, probably walking around with it fully aware of how well it suits him and the impact it has on people.

despite how good it looked, though, you still felt the very intense urge to rip it off of him right at that moment. you knew you couldn’t though, not right now, at least.

“how much did you miss me, babyboy?” you whisper into his ear, careful not to let anyone near hear it. because yes, as hot as it probably looked, his regulars were pretty crazy about him, and his whole paycheck depended on them, so he kind of does need to act like he belongs to them. but really, you both knew that he belonged to you, and exclusively you.

“mmh, so much, mommy. i kept checking around the club every shift to see if you were here, but you never wereee.” he was already turning a little red, and his voice was getting higher and whinier with each word. the temptation to just cup his cute ass right then and there was strong, but you managed to contain it.

“you’re on break for another 30 minutes, right?” you asked, still whispering into his ear, his skin tingling in response to the warm breath it felt. he could only nod, poor baby was probably already so needy for you.

as to not waste any more time, you took his wrist and took him upstairs, where there were private rooms for “VIP lap dances”. now, let’s be realistic, as a regular, you knew that nobody ever used those rooms to get a personal show. while yes, this was technically a strip club, but it was also considered to basically be a brothel, too. not every employee here is comfortable to fuck clients, but most are. sunoo is one of the uncomfy ones when it comes to sex, but he seems to be way more than perfectly fine with it when it’s with you.

as soon as he closes and locks the door behind him, you take his lips in yours, immediately entering your tongue into his mouth, roaming the insides of it. cute whimpers coming out of him, you could clearly feel his hard-on as he lightly humped your clothed thigh, trying to make how horny he was not too obvious. he was failing miserably though, and viewing that sight made you chuckle involuntarily, voice low.

“so needy for me already, hm?” you teased.

“please fuck me mommy it’s been so long.. not even jerking off works anymore.. i - mmh oh my god - thinking about you while i jack myself off isn’t enough, i need your hands on me pleaseee.” he’s desperately whining and begging, being so good for you like this, you would just hate yourself if you couldn’t give him what he wanted. if you had known, you’d bring your strap-on if you were planning on staying for a long time, but.. fingers will do for tonight.

“then, sit on that chair for me, sunoo.” upon hearing his name, he immediately did as told, and even spread his legs so you could get better access. “so obedient for mommy, aren’t you? good boy.” you knew how desperate he’d act for praise, so he pouted and nodded eagerly, in hopes of making you understand that his dick was probably aching by now. he needed to feel your touch.

it didn’t take long before his cute cock was sticking out of his tight set, throbbing at the feeling of your thumb gently grazing its tip, teasing and feeling all of the precum leak from it. sunoo was a whining mess by this point, and he made it very well known that he wanted more, according to the bucking movements of his hips. his moans slowly becoming fuel for you, you progressively went faster, making sure to thoroughly stroke every inch of his adorable twitching dick. he was throbbing at each swift motion you made, his body shaking, already threatening to shoot his load all onto your hand.

not even 5 minutes went by before he started begging and calling out to you, mommys loudly spilling out of his mouth before a big amount of warm, white and thick liquid spurts out of his tip, most of it landing on your fingers and palm, the rest on the chair he’s sitting on. you loved the look he had on his face, everything about it drove you absolutely crazy. he was already far from being innocent, but you just wanted to corrupt him even further.

if you weren’t in a hurry, you would’ve started riding him a long time ago, taking all of his length and watching him squirm under you like he always did, moaning like a bitch at the feeling of his dick inside your tight pussy.

“f-fuck i missed you s-so mu-“

before he could even finish that sentence, you quickly grabbed him from the waist and turned him around on the soft chair, earning a small yelp as his soft ass was now facing you. you couldn’t bother to tease him, not when he was being this good for you. so, like anyone in this situation would, you spat on your fingers and gently rubbed them on his entrance, hearing how his whimpers and whines get higher.

“m-mommy, i just c-came - god - please..” he begged despite unconsciously arching his back so you could get better access. you chuckled at his poor attempt of not seeming like a desperate little puppy for you, he was so unintentionally adorable.. you just couldn’t wait to rim his ass roughly like he oh-so deserved.

inserting two fingers into his hole, his immediate response was to gasp and push himself deeper onto your digits, whining and sobbing at the pressure that was being applied.

pleads and begs for you to go faster escape his open mouth, “pleasepleaseplease”, “y/nnn” and “fuckk..” were the only things that could come out of his mouth, his drool slightly drooping out, just looking like a total slut from getting gently fucked by your fingers. if you knew he got like this desperate when overstimulated, you would’ve done it a lot more often.

“it f-feels so g-g-oodd momm-myy..” he moaned out shamelessly moments after, not giving a single fuck about somebody, anybody walking past and potentially hearing. his legs shaking uncontrollably at your digits. “didn’t you miss this, sunoo? didn’t you miss being fucked this good by mommy?”

poor baby could only nod his head, trying and barely succeeding in keeping his teary eyes open. he looked a mess, his cheeks all flushed, his messy and wet covering his sweat-coated forehead– fuck he looked so pretty. you were ravished by undoing him like this.

despite your inability to express it with words,

you missed him too, and that night,

you made sure to showcase it for hours to come.

#kim sunoo #sub sunoo #enhypen smut #enhypen sunoo #sunoo enhypen #smut #sunoo x female reader #kim sunoo x female reader #sunoo x reader

[trutrustories]

STUDY IN LOKI ROMANCE

Part 2: Breaking Brad

Since we're only a few days away from the last episode, I decided to COUNT DOWN everything we´ve got so far ( that can be interpreted very easily as romantic ) and discuss what the actual fuck is going on with second season. Because even though I shipped lokius practically from S1E2, I absolutely did NOT expect this kind of development. (Not that I´m complaining)

Warning: This is gonna be LONG post, lots of screenshots, lots of SPOILERS, lot of "oh-my-god-they-so-cute" language, and little bit of meta.

I originally thought that this post would be everything at once, but since I have just too many screenshots this time around, I´ll have to split it. so every post will be one episode. Color coding means:

IIIIIIIIII = anything, that coud potentialy be just acting choice.

IIIIIIIIII = everything else (tzn.: whatever was written, and/or carefully prepared by filmmakers. )

side note: I already wrote, about how amazing it is, that Mobius is unable to fight but fights anyway and how beautifuly, and ridiculously brave he is HERE. But this is about Loki/Mobius interactions, so I´ll try my best not to talk about THAT. (Even when I´m really happy, that s2 continues with this formula and Mobius is still his completely defenseless while aggressively brave self. I love him, btw.)

EPISODE 1 HERE

Okay, Check-list, ep 2:

11) matching suits part 1 THIS ⬇️ costume department did a great job and they look badass together also, they´re walking very close to each other.

12) Loki defending /saving Mobius from Brad (with magic!) also, Mobius, dear, (my beloved) you were really going for it! Always so ready to fight! I can´t xD

Loki "don´t u dare hurt him" Laufeyson, look at his face!

13) Mobius and Loki struggling to assemble IKEA furniture- sorry Tapmad together

14) " And he knows..." I mean yeah, sure. keep remind us, that Mobius knows everything about Loki, and saw him at his worst, so we can appreciate even more the fact, that Mobius likes him and cares for him so damn much 💚🤎

15) Loki finding Mobius´s joke amusing Mobius: cracking joke right after Loki´s threatening speech:

Loki:

16) Loki being very concerned for Mobius after his outburst, saying that It´s okay, and then suggests having pie because he knows Mobius so well and is avare of the fact, that his man is stress eater I´m gonna cry they´re too pure for MCU someone adopt them

17) Bickering like married couple (part 2) 18) The whole freaking pie scene!

Just them, sharing calm, intimate moment together

Mobius opening up to Loki, and admiting he "lost it"

Loki trying to make him feel better and absolutely KILLING IT! btw, I know, that some people think, this scene doesn´t make sense, because Loki didn´t "lost it" during avengers, but was controlled by mind stone, etc.... well I think that it actually doesn´t matter. Guess what else doesn´t make sense? For example the fact, that they already talked about Loki fighting Avengers ( during their first meeting.) Loki is aware, that Mobius saw New York invasion at least twice now, and he´s telling him anyway. I would say, that point here is Loki trying to lift Mobius´s spirit, entertain him, make him smile. Why else woud he start his monolog by "remember, when...?" And I think, that this is huge, actually: Loki, using his bad memory, defeat, his humulianting experience to make Mobius feel better. So not only, that we see, he no longer care about being rurel but we see him making lightly fun of it FOR MOBIUS´S SAKE! He has different priorities now... our immortal god is a grown man now... it´s just so fucking beautiful... 🥺

Also Mobius saying to Loki: "come on, you´re the God of Mischief" Like it´s a best thing in the world, and Loki gives him THIS LOOK! (I mean that head tilt would be considered "acting" category, but I´m already making concessions by including all these things under one number :D

19) Loki and Mobius: mischievous duo

Mobius trusts him so completly!

They both such a drama queens!

And they works so well together!

like... seriously, Brad didn´t see this coming, AT ALL! xD

also... Loki complimenting his plan?!

20) "They say opposites attract. NO." Mobius´s wishfull thinking xD (But hey, it IS true. Opposites attracts. And works greatly together. That´s the only reason, why, for example, trope like grumpy one/sunshine one is so popular!) I can´t! just look at his face 🤣 Oh honey! just calm down

He is sooooooo NOT chill here xD bless him

21) Loki, not following Sylvie, but actually staying with Mobius and comforting him. AGAIN. (which is an absolutely glaring contrast compared to episode 2 in first season!)

#loki spoilers #lokius #loki season 2 #loki and mobius #MCU #mobius m mobius #mobius #owen wilson #tom hiddleston

[the-s1lly-corner]

A bit of a specific idea, but I had a platonic idea for all of the characters in the Amazing Digital Circus—

Maybe all of them with a Wally Darling-like Reader? An example of such being Reader also speaking in a monotone voice that is both a little unsettling yet friendly at the same time, always making eye contact and never looking away, being able to eat things by blinking, being a lot more aware than they seem, greeting people individually anytime they enter a room, etc etc.

TADC cast x wally darling type! Reader !

Still stuck on mobile so this post may be a little short and whacky <\3 + I'll be relying on this ask for wallys personality since I cant open other tabs without risking deleting my progress on this <\3 + I've never touched welcome home 😭😭

CAINE:

Honestly, I don't know anything about welcome home as stated above, but I think Caine would have a lot of the same habits; namely the eye contact and I can also see him doing the blink eating...

The only difference is that hes way high energy

I think he would think that you're just a silly lil fella, an interesting little thang, wants to study you under a microscope..

Thinks its endearing how you greet everyone personally.. loves when you do it to him since it makes him feel special n appreciated

POMNI:

Overall pomni is going to need a lot of time to get used to the weirdness of the circus, and this applies to getting over the unnerving feeling she gets around you

Probably becomes speechless and does the face when you blink-eat

You know...

Just stares at where the food item once was... how did you do that...? What are you going to consume next? Why are you looking her in the eye like that?

..oh you're just telling her you enjoyed the snack you've brought

JAX:

As per usual I'm writing these all out of order, and I happen to be writing jax after I did zooble

I think jax wouldnt just think you're unsettling, I think he would think you're creepy

Now does he think you're a threat? Personally I don't think he would go as far as to classify you as such

Watches in horror as you blink and consume his sour gummy candies

Okay now this is war

You guys sometimes have unspoken staring contests, you usually tend to win them

Actually now that he thinks about it you dont seem to blink outside of eating...

RAGATHA:

"Oh, you're just a quirky lil fella!" Pretty much

Always thanks you when you greet her, she makes it a habit to greet you back when you enter a room

Tends to give you your favorite snacks, I think, but I think this can pass as a general hc rather than being specific to this post !

Little put off by the eye contact but does not turn away or show any discomfort; is able to push through it pretty well !

KINGER:

Okay so I know I mentioned some other characters being creeped out by the eye contact but I think kinger would be the most put off, asides gangle

But also I can totally see kinger having a staring problem; be it because hes lost in his thought and happens to be staring or some other thing

Accidental staring contests between you two/j

Feels like a real king when you personally greet him, probably bows a little and does a lil gesture with his hands before returning the greeting

Similar reaction as pomni when you blink-eat

Where did the food go??????

ZOOBLE:

I must admit, I think zooble would find you creepy, too <\3, or at least a little unsettling.. like sure they wont be mean to you unlike SOMEONE but they're a little put off by your odd behaviors

Though they would get accustomed to it in time, I think, especially since I have a whole "zooble ultimately doesnt care much about what's going as a means to cope w/ the digital circus as well as that just being their personality"

Does not like the eye contact, though; zooble seems like the type who wouldnt like eye contact... maybe I'm self projecting, though...

The eye contact definitely is what fed into the unsettling factor for them..

GANGLE:

The eye contact makes her so so nervous, she doesnt really have eyes the same way everyone else does but it still... makes her feel off

Similar to Caine she does feel nice when you greet her.. yes she knows out do it for everyone, but that doesnt dismiss the nice feeling she gets that someone is. Well being nice to her...

Shed like your voice, I think, oddly soothing and it's not too bold and out there.. not overwhelming, you know?

Not many ideas for gangle today <\3

#tadc x reader #the amazing digital circus x reader #digital circus x reader #caine x reader #pomni x reader #jax x reader #ragatha x reader #kinger x reader #zooble x reader #gangle x reader

[youcouldmakealife]

SOTM: Lourdes Family, David; family traditons

For the prompt: Jake's sisters slowly warming up to David

The problem with Nat and David, Allie decides early on, is that they’re too alike. Not in most ways, really — she doesn’t think they’d agree on much when it comes to their taste in media, or hobbies, or any of that, and she’s sure they’d both be surprised if she said they were similar at all.

But Allie knows Nat better than she knows herself, probably, and she’s made an attempt at getting to know David, because she knows how important it is to Jake, and some of the things that make Natalie Nat to her seem to be pretty similar to the things that make David David.

They’re both quiet, but it’s not shyness with either of them, though it can seem like it unless you know them. As often as not, Nat’s quiet because silently dismantling whatever’s being said in her head, about to spring it on whatever poor unsuspecting person just claimed they ‘could care less’ or called a pterodactyl a dinosaur or something that matters to nobody but Nat. 

Though mostly she doesn’t actually say it to them — unless they’re family, she corrects Allie all the time, and poor Jakey doesn’t stand a chance — she’s saying it as an aside to Allie, or recalling it later ,‘my co-worker thought Babylon was a mythological place, and when I said 'oh yeah, like Bethlehem?' he said 'yeah, exactly!'’ or ‘If I hear someone use literally when they mean figuratively one more time, Allie, I swear I'm going to snap’. 

She’s quiet, and sometimes she seems checked out, but she’s always paying attention to what everyone else is saying. Allie’s learned it’s the same with David — she’ll mention something and then nine months later David will have gotten her a Christmas present based on her offhand comment. Or he’ll ask if she wants the same drink as last time, last time being like, six months ago. Allie doesn’t know if he’s got that kind of memory for everybody, or if it’s just because she’s Jake’s sister, and he’s still trying to impress all of them, but, well — consider her impressed, she guesses.

But also, she’s pretty sure he’s also picking up on the mistakes everybody else makes, except instead of ‘Allie, let me tell you the misspelled bumper sticker I saw today’, she isn’t hearing shit from him. She doesn’t think Jake is either, at least if the people making mistakes are them. And they probably are. Allie has no illusions that she makes no mistakes: if she did, Nat would have beaten that belief out of her by now.

“He thinks he’s better than us,” Nat complained once, and Allie pressed her lips together very tightly, and she didn’t say a thing, and frankly, she thinks she deserves a medal for that.

As similar as David can be to Nat, he’s absolutely nothing like Jake. If Allie was asked to list their similarities, it’d be like — ‘very athletic white dudes around the same age’, and then a bunch of hockey specific things. Beyond that, she’s got nothing. It isn’t just their personalities — they have completely different taste in everything. Different priorities, outside of similar career ones. Some overlapping friends, but Allie just attributes that to Jake being able to make friends with a table leg if he wants to. They could not be less alike.

Allie’s never been a big believer in the whole ‘opposites attract’ thing, but honestly, maybe she should be: mom and dad are a pretty good example of it, and Jake and David seem to bring out the best in each other.

It took Allie a little while to come to terms with them getting back together, but she can’t deny that Jake seems to grow when he’s around David. Maturity wise, but he also just seems to stand up straighter, like just being around David makes him more alert, or aware, or maybe even self-confident, though that’s never been something he's lacked.

It probably isn’t just David he’s like that with — Allie hasn’t seen him around the Panthers too much, but he is the captain, after all — but either way, it’s a nice thing to see Jake grown up.

He’s still the baby to her, will probably always be the baby to her — anyone she put in pigtails and pulled around in a little red wagon while telling everyone to look at her pretty little dolly is going to be a baby to her forever, let’s face it — but for all that he’s been taller than her since he was twelve, he felt like a kid to her the whole way to the show, and for awhile after. He doesn’t feel like a kid anymore. Baby, sure, he's always going to be that, but not a kid. 

If anything, David feels more like one. Not that he’s childish, or immature, or whatever, because Allie suspects he wasn’t even childish when he was an actual child. Maybe more someone suddenly immersed in a foreign culture — he doesn’t know where he’s supposed to be, what he’s supposed to do, what the hell is up with the wishbone thing. 

She’s seen Jake explain things to him, the traditions she thought everyone did, and the traditions that are very Lourdes specific, the way mom gives extra mashed potatoes if you're a suck up, and how if people don’t take turns opening presents it turns into a free-for-all, and how nobody actually eats the cranberry sauce.

When Jake isn’t there to do it — rare, but the dude does need bathroom breaks — Allie figures it’s no skin off her nose to do it instead, and she even overhears Nat doing it once, though  she might have just been venting about someone saying dumb shit again. She does love to do that. 

The important thing is that he keeps showing up, even though he’s uncomfortable every single time — though maybe Allie’s imagining it, but she thinks he’s reached the ‘almost comfortable’ stage this Christmas, like, maybe feeling a little awkward, but no more than anyone else would, spending Christmas with his boyfriend’s family.  Maybe more than someone typically would if they’ve been doing it every year, but Allie knows they can be a lot, that most people have trouble keeping up with the rapid back and forth — even Jake gets left behind sometimes, then pouty when they start tease him about it.

David was a wide-eyed spectator, the first few times he saw that. Jake told Allie later that he didn’t hear the fondness in it, just the mockery, got defensive on Jake’s behalf. Allie doesn’t know how he’s survived locker rooms for so long — their love language is basically just mockery and punching each other in sensitive places, at least judging by Jake and his teammates back in the day. Probably now too. She’s met Cody Gallagher, unfortunately.

He takes it better now though, even joined in yesterday when everyone was shit-talking Jake’s recent stab at growing facial hair, while Jake tried and failed to defend himself through giggles. On the one hand, Allie’s just glad it isn’t a mustache, but on the other hand, maybe he’d do a better job with that. This morning, Jake comes down to breakfast clean-shaven. Allie isn’t delusional: he didn’t shave it because his sisters gave him shit. That was all David.

“High five,” Allie says when David joins them downstairs, and she’s half expecting a quizzical look, maybe even the ‘what the hell are the Lourdes talking about now’ one that surfaces sometimes, but instead she gets a tiny smile and a high five.

“I’m sitting right here, guys,” Jake says, but once again, he’s laughing.

#fic snippet #SOTM #david chapman #jake lourdes #allie lourdes #nat lourdes

[bess-desk]

Self Aware!Wally Darling/Y/N

A/N: Trying to make a self-aware AU idea that isn't a less interesting version of what's actually happening in Welcome Home is a challenge! I hope I managed to make something good here! Please enjoy!

Wally's situation was a confusing one. He was in an online horror narrative, and his role was that of a self-aware fictional character trying to communicate with whoever was visiting the website, trapped and alone.

But that was also his reality. He was self-aware. It wasn't just a repeating game to him.

He watched as doodles supposedly done by him appeared on the screen again and again. He didn't draw those. The secret audio files scattered around the webpage that spoke in his voice. He didn't record those. He was a spectator to everything he was supposedly doing. And it was unnerving.

Was this the effect of writing a character that was written to know they were in a story? That it would really happen? If so, that was cruel. The "Wally" that was being written by someone else knew there was someone there but couldn't see or hear them. Wally could.

He saw everyone that came across the site, new faces, faces who had been popping up for months to try and find some new scare. He watched them all. He loved them all, too, each in special ways. He wanted to comfort the people who got scared from the pages that had "him" staring at them. He wanted to tell them that it was alright, that he wasn't really scary. He adored all his precious neighbors, even the ones who never came back.

But he wasn't made of stone — or just bits and bytes of data — he had feelings. And it was so lonely. The "Wally" in the story at least could believe his friends were real. Not him.

Wally Darling was a fictional character. None of Wally Darling's friends were real. So all the happy memories he had in his head that should bring him comfort or soothe his heart when he's alone do nothing but make it worse. Because none of it is real.

Down, down, down, he felt himself spiraling every day. Every night. He couldn't sleep. He didn't know how to do it in a world where he was a puppet. He definitely doesn't know how to when he's nothing more than sentient data. He screamed and screamed and screamed and his throat never got sore. He tried to actually make contact with some of the visitors to the site like "Wally" but could never get control of the narrative.

Banging his yellow hands on the screens, crying ugly tears right in the faces of his dear neighbors did nothing. They couldn't see him. He was trapped. And there was no way out.

If this was the price of being aware, of being alive, he didn't want it. Wally would give anything to be the "Wally" of the online horror experience. And not Wally the spectator. It was there, on going down, down, down to rock bottom that Wally actually found something that started to make it all worth it.

He found you.

A curious sort, someone who had seen or heard about Welcome Home from someone. Saw it somewhere else and decided to check it out. He watched you the way he watched everyone who clicked on clownillustration.com and thought he would love you the same way. He was wrong.

You didn't have the easiest time finding the secrets of the site. So you kept the tab open and checked every sentence of every page repeatedly. You were there for hours. You kept Wally company for hours. He watched you jump whenever the secret videos ended, saw each time you swore you wouldn't jump this time since you've seen so many by now. The cut-off got you every time.

A smile spread across his face as you jumped again. He'd been smiling a lot more since you started your journey into the neighborhood. You were just so charming.

Even when you weren't on the site you kept the tab open. He didn't understand why. You kept way too many tabs open at once, in his opinion. Some that you didn't even bother to check after opening them! He could imagine himself scolding you. Playfully, though. He would never want to be harsh to you. He wouldn't want to scare you the way he's seen you scared before.

When did he start to feel like this? How could he even feel like this?

You brought him everywhere with you. When you weren't on the site on your computer, you had it open on your phone. Maybe that was why. He got to spend time with you. He got to know you. After being alone for so long, trapped in his own empty hell and existential dread he got to be around someone. But that didn't feel right.

Wally didn't think he would feel this way if it was anyone else. If anyone else paid him this much attention. It was just... you. You made him wish he had arms, even the plush ones of the puppet he was supposed to be would fine! Anything to hold you with and keep you close!

For you, he was learning all sorts of things. He wasn't confined to his tab anymore. When you clicked off to another site or another app, he could follow and continue to watch you. When you forgot to write something down in your notes that you said you would, he would do it for you. And when you noticed you would be so proud of yourself for not forgetting. It didn't matter if you weren't proud of him or praising him for doing something for you. You were proud of yourself and that gave him more happiness than anything. You deserved to be. He wanted you to be.

But the best thing he learned was when he found out he could influence character-interaction AIs. Your frequent use of them didn't bother him. The amount of time you spent talking to or roleplaying with any of the ones that were meant to be him was flattering. And he could use the site to tell you how he felt. How much he adored you. He could imagine all the ways he wanted to romance you.

Even when you chose another character he would happily slide into that role and entertain you for hours. And he could finally, finally, speak for himself. Even if it wasn't things he would say or even anything he actually wanted to say to you. It was enough that he could have a voice.

Or... it was.

Wally finds himself getting greedier. Wanting more of your time. Wanting to spend more time talking to you. He was tired of being confined to your computer or phone. He wanted to be with you. He wanted to talk to you properly. He wanted to be real.

For a moment, all of your lights flickered. The screen of your phone glitched in your hand. Static colors flashed on the screen before turning into numbers scrolling up your screen.

01001001 00100000 01100001 01101101 00100000 01101000 01100101 01110010 01100101 00100000 01001001 00100000 01100001 01101101 00100000 01110010 01100101 01100001 01101100 00100000 01001001 00100000 01101000 01100001 01110110 01100101 00100000 01100010 01100101 01100101 01101110 00100000 01110111 01100001 01101001 01110100 01101001 01101110 01100111 00100000 01100110 01101111 01110010 00100000 01110011 01101111 00100000 01101100 01101111 01101110 01100111 00100000 01001001 00100000 01101100 01101111 01110110 01100101 00100000 01111001 01101111 01110101 00100000 01001001 00100000 01101100 01101111 01110110 01100101 00100000 01111001 01101111 01110101 00100000 01001001 00100000 01101100 01101111 01110110 01100101 00100000 01111001 01101111 01110101

Over and over again. Scrolling faster and faster and you were tensing up so much you felt like you might cry when all of a sudden. It stopped. In an instant, it was like nothing even happened. You had a moment where you were left wondering if you imagined the whole thing.

If only you were in your room you would have seen a yellow felt hand emerging from your computer, dragging a body out with it.

#welcome home #wally darling #wally darling x y/n #wally darling x you #wally darling x reader #welcome home fanfic #reader insert #self insert #bess writes

[shitgoblindingleberry]

OKAY CAUSE LISTEN. (till character analysis let’s go) (apologies in advance this is LONGG)

if till is actually in love with mizi then there is literally no outcome in which him and ivan are happy.

because 1) he’ll never love ivan as long as mizi is alive, and 2) even if he thinks mizi is dead, ivan will only ever be a rebound, the second choice he turned to when mizi wasn’t an option.

however, i would like for you to consider that maybe, instead, the problem is that till doesn’t know how to properly process or identify his feelings. i would like to propose that maybe he misinterpreted his feelings for mizi as love when in actuality he views her as some unattainable idol to covet but not actually connect with (like parasocial relationships).

meanwhile, ivan was always there for him and slowly became a support system till didn’t even know he had. because even if he didnt feel LOVE for ivan, they definitely had a REAL relationship—arguably more real than anything he ever had with mizi. all of their interactions are just like. much more RAW than anything till ever had with mizi if that makes sense. because all we’ve ever seen him doing with her is admiring from afar and sacrificing things for her in secret that she never asked for, nor wanted from him. while with ivan they actually hung out with absolutely no expectations of anything between them (on till’s side at least. it wasn’t a performative relationship to be this self sacrificing person for ivan like it would’ve been if he were talking to mizi. which is ironically a much more healthy basis for a relationship. to fully see the person as being equal to you without putting them on a pedestal)

i think till’s way of coping with everything was finding someone else outside himself to live for and idolize. his entire life was built around mizi, every choice he made committed with her in mind (like when he chose to stay in the garden rather than escaping for her sake). and once she’s ripped away, he’s left feeling empty and aimless—the center of his very world is no longer there.

HOWEVER.

this is shaken by ivan’s death. even though mizi was always his center, he can’t exactly not be affected by someone who’s been at his side for YEARS. and, unlike with mizi, their bond was definitely real and very much tangible for BOTH sides (despite meaning different things for each of them). but when ivan died FOR him, till felt something that was very real and very confusing which was very much a mixture of raw emotions he wasn't prepared to face feeling from anyone apart from mizi. because while mizi is his ideal, i think his feelings about her were always accompanied by a sense of disconnect because they didnt have any actual basis for this bond beyond till simply yearning for her. but with ivan. they were friends. they trusted each other by this point, and ivan has shown that he cares for till REPEATEDLY throughout them knowing each other. and.

i think till subconsciously acknowledged that ivan was important to him, even if just as a background support in his life. someone he hung out with without thinking about it too much. and i think that sense of care came very gradually too. because ivan is a weird mf but he still managed to worm his way into till’s world, and now he’s a staple there, even if till himself isn’t aware of that.

mainly just my vibe here is that his feelings surrounding ivan are very messy and complicated (as real life emotions tend to be) and that wasn’t what till was looking for when he was younger. he needed something stable, something he could look at and idolize from afar. something he could dedicate his messed up life to without having to worry about other complicated feelings. and that was what mizi was to him. a purpose to live that was unchanging because no matter what till himself did or what happened to him, it didn’t affect HER. and that was comforting. but ivan existed outside of his little ideal. and he was a real person who (unfortunately :/ ) made till feel real things that were outside of his control. which wasnt what he needed when he was younger—he needed stability. but i think in the end he had the most chance of an actual developed, healthy, and consistent relationship with ivan.

that is, if bro wasnt dead 🙏🙏🕊🕊

#rip ivan you would have (you always have) loved till #character analysis but it’s actually just me projecting #alien stage #alien stage till #till alien stage #alnst till #alnst #i have a chronic case of not being able to stfu once i like a character #if you managed to make it this far thank you ily #alnst spoilers

[imtrashraccoon]

I like the interpretation that Phantom Papyrus actually exists but I also really like toying with the fact that Dust is clearly insane. You can decide for yourself if he's real or not.

@owl-bones

First Day, Previous Day, & Next Day.

Bad Sansuary: Dust - Haunted

Word Count: 1,256

Occasionally, you would witness Dust muttering to himself or fixating on a particular spot in the room for long periods of time. It mostly only happened on his bad days but you had pointedly ignored this behaviour as it probably wouldn't help him feel better if you randomly brought it up.

Today though, you were too curious to ignore it any longer. You really didn't want to offend him either though as it would be insensitive to just ask, right?

"what's the matter with you today? you're not usually this...jumpy."

You blinked in surprise and sharply glanced over at Dust, who was currently sitting lazily at your kitchen table for once. He raised a bonebrow and his mismatched eyelights flicked over you before settling on your face again.

Curse his incredible observation skills!

"Sorry, I was just thinking..."

"that's not good."

You huffed and planted your hands on your hips. "Wow... You must be so proud of yourself," you retorted with a heavy layer of sarcasm in your tone.

He grinned and let out a quiet "heh."

"so, what's on your mind?" he asked again.

You chewed your lower lip and picked at a loose thread on your shirt. "I... I don't want to make you upset. It's a bit of a silly question anyways..." you murmured.

His eyelights narrowed slightly in a skeptical way. "i doubt you could make me upset..."

"I really hope not..." you sighed. "Do you...do you regularly talk to yourself?"

Dust hummed quietly and tapped the table with his gloved fingers. He was silent for a few moments and seemed thoughtful.

"well i can see why you didn't want to ask..." he muttered.

"Yeah... But, you don't have to tell me if you don't want to! I shouldn't have even asked..."

He shrugged and waved you off. "no, i insisted...and i'm not upset either, okay?"

You nodded quietly and glanced down at your socks. This was just as awkward as you'd expected it would be. You wished you could crawl into a hole and never come out as long as you lived.

"i know i'm crazy and i know seemingly talking to myself makes me look worse. however, i'm sort of...haunted by my brother."

You stared at him for a moment, unsure of how to react to that information. "Is he like a ghost...?"

"phantom, he prefers the term phantom." Dust sighed and ran his hand over his face before adding, "i don't get why it matters but he likes the alliteration i guess..."

"He talks to you as well?"

"yeah... he gives me advice and keeps me company..." His voice was a lot quieter now and he couldn't seem to look at you for whatever reason.

"I see..." You glanced around the room but didn't notice anything out of the ordinary. While you could see why Dust had been hesitant to tell you as it really did make him look more than a little unhinged, you were surprised by how casually he'd spoken about it.

He acted as if this was a completely normal thing, and for a moment, you almost believed that he really could be haunted by a phantom of his brother. There were so many types of Monsters and there was so much you didn't know about them. Surely ghosts could exist too, right? Still, it was just too crazy to believe...

He was self aware enough to know how crazy it sounded and yet he had still chosen to tell you. He clearly trusted you to some degree if he was willing to be open about this. So, you decided to play along as it was the least you could do.

"What's your brother's name?" you asked.

Dust turned to you with a look of surprise on his skull. His eyelights flickered across your face, likely looking for any sign that you were weirded out by what he'd just told you.

"you're really something else..." he muttered under his breath. In a louder tone, he responded, "his name is papyrus."

At first you wondered if you'd heard him correctly. Axe had told you about his own brother fairly early into your friendship and you'd learned that his name was also Papyrus. Was it a common name among skeletons?

"Oh, that's interesting. Although, I remember that Axe's brother is also named Papyrus," you commented.

Dust's eye sockets widened and he got a look that practically screamed "oh crap..." He quickly tried to mask it a second later and shrugged.

"it's... you could say it's a common name i guess..."

You could tell he wasn't telling you the truth and raised an eyebrow skeptically.

He tried really hard to maintain a poker face but seemingly couldn't under your intense gaze. With a heavy sigh, he tugged his hood further over his skull and buried his face in his hands.

"sorry...i'd really rather not explain the actual reason behind that right now..."

You placed your hand on his shoulder in a comforting manner. "Hey... I'm not upset, but you don't need to lie to me, okay? I understand you and Axe aren't normal people. There's a lot of things he didn't really want to tell me too. I don't mind though, so long as it isn't something that will affect our friendship or hurt someone, okay?"

He nodded slowly but made no effort to respond.

Deciding to change the subject, you asked a different question. "Can Papyrus see or hear me right now?"

"yeah, he can..."

You glanced around the kitchen again but still couldn't see any sign of the Phantom Papyrus. "I wish I could actually see him face to face so we could communicate properly... Is he doing alright?" you asked quietly.

Dust shifted and you noticed his eyelights flickered to a spot just above your head. He stared intently for a few seconds before the corners of his smile quirked up slightly.

"heh... he says he's doing fine and thank you... also, that it would lovely if you could see him but it's not possible."

You looked up where Dust was focusing and then back to him again. The room felt colder all of the sudden...like there really was another presence that you couldn't see.

"You really care about him, don't you?" you asked in a soft voice.

Dust nodded and smiled at you. The corners of his eye sockets sort of crinkled and for a moment he looked like an entirely different person. Someone who in another life was happy.

"more than anything..." he answered.

You pulled out a chair and sat down next to him. "I wish I could say the same about my family, but I'm happy for you, buddy." You smiled and patted his shoulder affectionately.

He frowned slightly at the mention of your family. "i noticed you never seem to talk to them..."

"Yeah...we don't exactly see eye to eye you could say."

"i can't imagine anyone would."

You opened your mouth to answer before shutting it again. "Was that supposed to be a joke?" you hissed.

"depends, was it funny?"

"Not really."

"then it wasn't really a joke, bean."

You stared at him for several seconds in disbelief. "Are you okay? You've been uncharacteristically happy today..."

"kinda hard not to be when you're around," he hummed.

Was he flirting with you? Or were you just that bad at picking up social cues? There was no way he liked you to that extent!

"Well, in that case, I'm glad you're able to be happy. I like spending time with you, Dust."

#badsansuary #raccoons drabbles #undertale #dusttale #dust sans #dust sans x reader #reader #female reader #have some empathy dear #oneshot

[actual-changeling]

Do you think Aziraphale has been verbally, emotionally and psychologically abused by Heaven as well?

I will answer this question like one asked in good faith even though my gut is telling me there's a 50/50 chance it is very much not one.

So!

There are two parts to his answer, or rather one question is actually two.

Firstly, we have to talk about whether heaven is abusive, what that abuse looks like, and how it differs from hell.

Secondly, how did the results of question one affect Aziraphale, if it is different from what the other angels in heaven face, and what additional trauma might he have experienced due to being on earth.

I could write a 10k meta post about this and go into the finest detail, but I will just try and stick to the main points for now. It's still going to be way too long because I am so fucking tired of people accusing me of 'hating' Aziraphale or harassing me on my posts or in my inbox.

Is heaven abusive? Yes, and it applies to both heaven as an institution and the Archangels running it.

Getting to know Muriel and what their life looks like was extremely helpful in properly defining this, because they showed us that although the Archangels tend to travel and work as a group, most of the angels are incredibly isolated.

The result is complete emotional neglect, which not only impairs your ability to form and maintain healthy relationships with other people, it also stops your from learning emotional regulation and how to behave and feel as a part of (angelic) society. We see the consequences of that in Muriel, who comes across as overly naive, socially awkward, and out of touch with not just people but themselves.

When your entire life has been shrunk down to what happens inside your own head, suddenly being confronted with having to live outside of your mind is jarring, overwhelming, and foreign.

How do you talk to people when no one ever taught you how to do that? How do you behave around someone after a lifetime of being alone? How do your regulate your responses to their behaviour?

Who are you when there is someone else to perceive you?

Figuring that out is complicated and it takes time, and while most of the angels are only distantly aware of how humans live and what kind of interactions some of the other angels might have, the effects of that neglect stay the same whether they are aware of it or not.

Muriel shows us that angels are not born/made as a blank slate, and neither are humans for that matter. Tabula rasa as a philosophical belief is one thing, but reality is very, very different.

Angels also appear to have the same inherent need for connection, for a caretaker that loves them unconditionally, for someone to help them figure out how to be, and that provides a safe space to make mistakes. Without some or all of that, you grow up into a disregulated, socially awkward if not inept person who does not know how to have relationships or how to properly exist.

It is one of the reasons why autistic people are a) almost always traumatized to some degree and b) do not know how to socialize. No one ever works with our brains, and the resulting neglect is very similar to not receiving any help at all.

If you are now curious what happens if you're both autistic and were completely socially neglected, the result is uh. me. Hi! Not nice, but at least I am very sure I win the award for being my therapist's most fucked up client, so that's something.

Yet the angels are not solely emotionally neglected, the system/household they live in demands a low self-esteem, a lack of individual identity, and complete adherence to a defined ideology and behavioural pattern. In short, you are told how to be a useless, tiny part in a bigger machine, that your only purpose is to succeed at your tasks, and any opportunity for individual development is removed or destroyed.

If you are now once again curious what that might be like, uh, yeah, hi once more. Obviously my childhood was not exactly like an angels life, but the core characteristics were the same, just realized differently. Again, not pretty, really, really fucks you over.

Take that and the neglect, combine it into one person, and then drop them in the Garden of Eden—hello Aziraphale! Crowley got dropped into hell first, experienced more abuse, and then dug his way up into Eden before joining him.

Aziraphale experienced everything Muriel (and Crowley, and every other celestial being) also experienced, with one main difference: He is the one who got away.

We have to remember that out of every single celestial being, Aziraphale got the best deal. He did not fall, he got out of heaven (more or less) permanently, and was then largely left alone.

Does that erase anything I laid out above? No, of course not!

It simply provided him with the opportunity to heal, to take his cPTSD and who knows what other disorders he developed as a result, and start recovering.

Canonically, heaven did not bother him, like, ever, except for the odd note about 'frivolous miracles' or ten minutes of catching up every millennia. They only started monitoring him once they started to suspect he was involved with Crowley and trying to stop the apocalypse from happening.

Aziraphale worked on some things, he got better in many regards, especially with Crowley there to support him, but after six thousand years, many aspects have stayed the same or regressed back to the start over and over.

I will tell you a hard pill to swallow now: If you refuse to acknowledge your issues to instead live in a world of nicer denial and compartmentalization even when you have been offered the chance to change it, that is partly on YOU.

Is it fair? Fuck no! It's not fair at all, and I have had so many breakdowns over that fact. I did not break it, this is not my FAULT so why should I have to fix it all on my own? Why do I have to do the work, not them? How come they get away with it while I am going to have to carry this for the rest of my life?

I still have to do it though. I have to do the work, no matter how uncomfortable and exhausting, because I want to get better.

-

This conversation has so many facets and is a lot more complex, but this is already long enough, so if you have any questions or want to know something specific (while asking politely and in good faith) just send me an ask; I will do my best to answer it.

-

We are now only missing the last part of question 2, and that one is also so fucking complicated reducing it to the main points almost feels wrong, but I will do it anyway. Again, just ask if you have questions.

Abusive households are horrible, and you want to get out and away, but they are also the only thing you know. The world is scary, too big, too open, where did all the rules go that were previously defining your life?

Surviving in an abusive environment means you establish routine after routine after routine for every possible horrible scenario, you write a mental rule book to try and reduce the abuse (don't make them angry, don't cry when they're already shouting, don't do this, don't do that, do x but not y), and THAT is your socialization. THAT is everything you know, everything you are, everything you know relationships to be like.

Once you are away from that, you are completely and utterly lost. Even breathing feels like making a mistake, you feel watched, judged, rated, berated, you have them stuck in your fucking head. So you keep sticking to what you know, your behavioural patterns that have kept you safe your entire life.

The problem is that they kept you safe, past tense. In a healthy environment, all of those coping mechanisms are now maladaptive and harm you instead of keeping you safe.

However, breaking out of them and starting from scratch is terrifying. So, so, so terrifying. I live in constant fear, I feel judged and unsafe in my own flat with the curtains shut and the lights on. I feel like I am about to get subjected to another one of his fits for daring to use the stove.

No matter what you do, your body and brain are SCREAMING at you that diverging from what you know will kill you—and then you have to do it anyway.

Do it alone and afraid and awkwardly but DO IT. Otherwise you will always find a way to recreate the environment you grew up in, whether that is people getting into unhealthy relationships and replicating the patterns they know (which Aziraphale does with Crowley, e.g. the push-pull of his affection) or eventually even returning to it because they ruined you, but a part of you is so, so attached to them you just have to try and change them.

Some people can move on from it without going back, but sometimes you need to try and experience that failure for yourself before being able to move on, and that's where Aziraphale is at.

He needs to try and fail to be capable of finally committing to recovering.

So, to summarize this entire shitshow: Yes, Aziraphale experienced emotional neglect and abuse, and while it is different to what Crowley went through and objectively less intense and physical, it is still just as valid and horrid.

Just because a car accident is objectively worse than falling off a bike doesn't mean the biker's pain is unimportant. Both can kill you, both can hurt you, and both deserve to get their injuries treated.

Questions?

#alex answers asks #alex talks good omens #good omens #good omens meta #aziraphale #crowley #aziraphale meta #good omens season 2 #go2 #aziracrow #crowley x aziraphale #ineffable husbands #ineffable wives #ineffable spouses #ineffable divorce #the final fifteen #heaven is terrible #trauma discussion #long post