#i did have a little trouble moving after waking from anesthesia

[wkdwtchoftheest]

Surgery went well. I'm home recovering. I'm extremely tired.

#had my gallbladder out #i did have a little trouble moving after waking from anesthesia #i sat up and my larynex had some sort of stuttering episode #im okay though #my pain medicine gives me nausea though so that sucks #out of work for six weeks yay #i feel like i could sleep the entirety of those six weeks

[thewurstgirlfriend]

On: Drugs

So in a prior post I alluded to having a surgery(it was unrelated to my transition) and it was such a wild experience! The only other time I had been put under anesthesia before was when I had my wisdom teeth removed, so that was the litmus I was gauging it by.

I showed up in the early afternoon, I was admitted and shown a bed & given a gown to change into. They hooked an IV up to my left wrist with one of those rolly carts. I had to bring it with me like 3 times to the bathroom cuz of the old t-blocker peeing...and they kept me waiting for almost 2 hours before the doctors were ready for me so I was anxious AF about it too. But they finally wheeled me in and Holy Crap! after never having seen an operating theater before I was impressed by the medical tech on display.

The anesthesiologist was a little firecracker of a Chinese woman, we spoke for a few minutes and she asked me about my meds because she couldn't figure out why I was on such a high dose of a blood pressure medication at my age and there was this awkward moment where I had to explain that I'm trans & that's part of my HRT. I still haven't submitted the paperwork to change my gender indicator on all my ID,and THAT will be another writing unto itself. But the doctor had the nurse put a breathing mask over my face and she told me it was oxygen, after a moment she goes "OK! Medicine now!" and I took about three breaths then gasped awake in a different room.

It was entirely weird! I had been put under for almost 3 hours but when I awoke I didn't feel as if I was missing time, it felt like seconds to me. I was also a lot more alert and lucid then I expected to be, I was hauling my IV cart for a pee just a few minutes after waking up. I thought I'd be groggy and feel almost drunk, and be generally unable to move. They told me they pumped me full of freezing which probably helped a great deal when I took the stairs up to my loft. They had given me a prescription for painkillers but the pharmacy was closed when I got back home so I had to wait. Again, I had the false impression that they'd send me home with the medication in hand. My logic being that even though it was a simple routine surgery, an open operation is still a major surgery. I was anxious about the entire ordeal, I expected things to be entirely different.

The next morning I hobbled down my stairs and to the pharmacy across the street, I was in pain but not excruciatingly so. In classic doctor shorthand, I had no idea which medication I was waiting on. They called me over for a consult & it turns out it was hydromorphone! It came with a giant warning package with it about all the associated risks and I took it quite seriously....I have been closely affected by the opioid crisis several times, as recently as 6 weeks ago a friend passed in a questionable overdose. And I know all too well the power of addiction.

In addition to the statistics surrounding mental health disorders and self-harm behaviors in the trans community, addiction rates are also disproportionately high, and I am no exception to these numbers. Waxing honestly, coming from a troubled childhood home I've been linked into the mental healthcare system for most of my life. I have been diagnosed with dysthymia and Cluster-B characteristics in addition to having ADHD. I have struggled with alcohol for most of my life, I was introduced to it by family at a young age & became a problem drinker in my teens and early 20s. I had been sober almost 6 years when my marriage ended just a few months before the first COVID-19 lock-downs...around this time I was laid-off and had my car repo'd because I could no longer keep up the payments. Now, I know I'm not the only casualty of the pandemic but I did NOT handle all that disaster in my life all at once and I relapsed into drinking for about 2 years. I'm currently 10 months alcohol free, and I stopped smoking cigarettes. I still smoke a fair amount of cannabis but it's legal where I am and just as hard to avoid as booze. I occasionally use psylocibin mushrooms but I approach that more therapeutically, as does my therapist. She's a beautiful soul, I owe her my life. I've worked with her closely for 3 years now...she's helped me get sober & help me work up the courage to live honestly. And 20 years ago my counselor would have given me proper crap about "eating shrooms" and I would've been kicked out of the program. Now I tell her and she's curious about how helpful the experience was....the science is there, I don't make this up. It is what it is, fight me in the comments. But what the hell was I even saying??

Oh yeah, opiates...So I took 2 doses of the hydromorphone, exactly as prescribed, and that was enough to make me itchy if you know what I mean. It's a powerful drug omg, don't get me wrong it does what it's supposed to. It dulled my surgical pain beautifully and I slept better than I had in quite some time. And there's the rub, just like that I felt I wanted to use it every day. Not to get high of course, but that deep rest was alluring.....I'm not alone here & it's crazy because we're talking about single-use event addiction pathways!! I ended up bringing the pills back to the pharmacy because I never really needed them in the first place, plus... in a low moment after 3 days in bed, I realized there was enough drug in that jar to make ALL of my problems go away....not that I'm any more sad than usual but that's how readily I can think like that.

This experience opened my eyes, bearing in mind that this is all IMHO, and knowing that everybody's unique experience is exactly that....perhaps physicians are over-prescribing and over-medicating? Should there be a better screening process to ensure these drugs are the most appropriate for the correct circumstances in the right patients? Absolutely, there are legitimate conditions for their clinical use, and one of the bigger factors is non-pharmaceutical grade drugs infiltrating city streets. What are we to do? I'm left perplexed, all I have is questions and more questions where no answers are coming.

Going forward, I had a sweaty, sleepy day after I took the pills back... I was able to manage the pain with plain old acetaminophen. A few more days in bed and I was back on my feet. Its been 11 days since the surgery and I feel great and I'm healing well! I've had more time to pull this girl together and a more permanent transition into womanhood is on the horizon in the new year. My writing is going to be a huge part of my healing, and my becoming whole. Make sure you like/follow/subscribe and do all the things! Talk soon!

Much Love

Genni Bee

#trans community #trans woman #trans author #trans pride #mtf trans #trans rights #positive mental attitude #self improvement #self care

[diosmio76]

What I Deserve (2) | soft Dark!Bucky Barnes x Reader

Bucky couldn’t believe his luck when he found you. So innocent, so alone, and so naive. He had been following you throughout the week, hell- he wasn’t even trying to hide it anymore and you never noticed him once.

Pairing: Dark!Bucky x Reader

WARNINGS: +18, dub-con, needle use, stalking, fingering, kidnapping, kind of non-con (more dub-con but just incase)

Word Count: 3,076

A/N: my timeline on which version of Barnes is fucked up and a mix of everything honestly // my first ever time writing smut, and honestly I'm open to constructive criticism b/c I have no experience in this area LOLZ

You squeezed your eyes as you stretched your body. Feeling your comforter rise and fall against your skin from your movements. You hung your feet off your bed and stretched them before standing up. You did your usual set of morning stretches, were they done correctly? Probably not, but it was the thought that counts and the only form of self-care you gave yourself. You let out a sigh as you got ready for another day similar to all the rest. You don’t even remember what it felt like to be excited about waking up, but who were you to complain. You used the toilet as you went back and forth in your mind about nothing in particular, your eyes staring at your bed that was quickly losing the warmth it collected from your body. Once done in the bathroom you dragged yourself to your vanity, hearing the faint noise of cars on the street, you began getting ready for work. After changing and grabbing your tattered work bag, you began your journey with all the other commuters.

The day dragged on like any other, talking to coworkers only when they needed something from you. Hearing the usual remarks of “Oh, I didn’t notice you” or “I didn’t even see you there”, you got used to it but you’d be lying if you said it didn’t bother you. Before you had time to dwell on it, it was time to go home. You packed your bag then began your walk home, following the same route you always take during the week. Taking a little solstice in the fact that you were just another face in the crowd, that fact made you feel as if everyone else was alone too. Once home you locked the door and dropped your bag, heading to the bedroom you changed into an oversized shirt and put on your slippers before heading towards the living room. You turned on the tv and lowered the volume for some background noise, making the short trip towards the kitchen to make dinner. You rarely got messages on your phone unless it was from your mom or your phone provider wanting you to update your old phone, so you scrolled mindlessly through various social media newsfeeds. You munched on a vegetable as you waited for your pan to heat up. You tried to not feel bad for yourself, you were the one to blame for the lack of social life but you were in too deep. Too set in your ways. You stared at the steaming pan as you imagined moving across the country.

“Yeah right” you said aloud to yourself as you finished cooking your dinner, eating the food but not really tasting it.

~~~

You repeated the same routine the next day, unbeknownst to you today was the day that Bucky decided you were ready. It didn’t take him long to find a house isolated by miles of forest. Despite its unassuming traditional exterior, the inside was modern as he enjoyed the impersonal nature that the style provided. He spent the majority of his time there making sure the house was locked and secure in case you tried anything. The thought made him laugh a little, knowing you didn’t have it in you but he didn’t want to take any chances. Things had been going his way lately, and finding you was like the universe was rewarding him even more. At first, he considered getting to know you, and doing the whole flowers and dates thing but decided he didn’t have the patience for all that waiting, he’s been waiting long enough and he deserved something good. He settled on a much easier method. Breaking in was easy, old apartments like this barely gave him any trouble. He even had someone hold the building door open for him, just his luck.

The lock felt weird when you opened your door but you didn’t think anything of it, dismissing it as another sign of the building’s old age. He watched from afar as you went about your usual routine. He was beginning to become skeptical at how oblivious you were. He was practically behind you and you hadn’t even looked over your shoulder once. He even made some accidental noises by stepping on squeaky floorboards and didn’t get a reaction from you, he took this as another lucky break. You were tired today and fell asleep relatively easily, considering how long it typically took you to fall asleep. Bucky walked around your apartment as he waited for you to enter a deeper sleep, familiar with everything since he had been in here a few times since first spotting you all those weeks ago. He looked at your book collection, a mix of genres, and looked closer at the few photos you had on display. A majority of the old photos seemed to be of your family from decades ago. He picked up one that seemed more recent, the only one you had up that included you. He recognized the other two people in it, your mom and sister, both busy with their own lives. He already sized up your family and it would be easy to handle them if he needed to.

He walked into your bathroom and went through your medicine cabinet, finding nothing out of the ordinary besides a few nail polish bottles and various allergy medicines. Finally, he noticed the soft snores coming out of your room. He shut the cabinet, staring at his reflection for a second. He knew this was the right thing to do and had no bad intention. He softly grunted at his pathetic moment of self-reflection and took out a needle filled with a small dose of anesthesia. He observed you for a moment as you slept, mouth slightly agape and eyebrows relaxed, he considered for a moment how easy it would be to take you, but reminded himself of the bigger picture. He easily found a vein and waited a few minutes before taking you to your new home.

~~~

You squeezed your eyes shut and smiled to yourself as you thought about how well you slept last night. You hummed as you kept your eyes closed briefly noticing the absence of warmth that the morning sun provided you in the mornings. You thought nothing of it, too distracted by the fact that this was probably the best night’s sleep you’d gotten in months. Despite that you still felt a little groggy, you began to move but quickly felt something rough holding you down. Your eyes shot open as your breathing began to quicken. You became conscious of the rough restraints around your arms and legs. You awkwardly lifted your head up as you tried to look around, it looked like a basement based on the unfinished walls surrounding you, a single lightbulb hanging above you on the unfinished ceiling. You attempted to calm yourself down by deeply inhaling but knew it was a lost cause once you heard the shaky exhale leave your mouth. You knew you couldn’t break free from the knotted rope holding you down. You had weak arms and tried to use your leg strength in an attempt to kick yourself free but felt it begin to sting as it irritated your ankles from the pressure. You sat in a deafening silence and felt completely petrified.

You let out a whimper as you heard footsteps approaching the door. The door opened as you saw a tall, broad man approach you. You were too scared to notice anything about him and began to feel yourself shake, causing you to miss the way he hungrily reacted to your frightened state. A shadow was cast on you as he stood over the bed. From the corner of your eye, you watched as his right hand lowered the comforter to your torso and expose your shirt as you twitched at the action. He smirked in response, your eyes following his hand as it hovered over the comforter as though he was going to do something. It exited your line of sight but your eyes were fixed in place. You heard movement as he straightened himself before speaking to you for the first time.

“Did you sleep well? You’ve been out for most of the day” His deep voice filled the room as you kept shaking, too scared to answer. You could hear your heartbeat in your ears and wondered if he could too, but he was too busy trailing his eyes over your torso. He noticed the way your nipples created peaks on your oversized shirt. He licked his lips before he moved his hand up to grab your chin, forcing you to look up at him. You did your best at avoiding his gaze keeping your gaze low, you swallowed the lump in your throat and tried to control your shaking but felt it intensify instead.

Still gripping your chin, a little tighter than necessary, and trying to control your shaking body got him hard. You looked so weak like this, it made him excited, a wicked smile painted his face as he looked down at your wide eyes and lips clamped together in terror.

“Look at me when I talk to you, doll”

You had a difficult time looking people in the eyes in general, so you lifted your eyes and stopped at his chin. You didn’t dare go any higher. He squeezed on your chin and heard him let out an amused chuckle. If you weren’t so terrified you would have noticed how out of place it sounded given the situation.

“That’ll have to do, for now, I can tell you’re terrified but you really have no reason to be. I only want to do what’s best for you- for us, I’m only doing what needs to be done.” He didn’t expect a response and stared at you as he let you sit with his words.

He took a moment and let his hand trail down from your chin. He felt the nervous swallow as his pointer finger trailed lower and lower. His finger deviated from its straight path as he placed his palm against your chest, pausing to feel your heartbeat racing. He almost felt sorry as he felt its frantic rhythm. He couldn’t help himself as he cupped your left breast. His thumb gently circling around the hard bud. You scrunched your eyebrows and scolded yourself for getting pleasure from his action. His gentle touch was a strong contrast to the situation he had put you in.

His finger continued its journey down and stopped just above your mound. You swallowed as you felt his eyes staring at you intently, not daring to see if you were right. He lifted his hand momentarily as he moves to sit next to you, hearing the springs groan under him, pushing the comforter towards the bottom of the bed. You get chills as warmth escapes, feeling the crisp air conditioning surround your body instead. Jerking at his touch, he returns his right hand to your body just below your navel this time. His fingers trace down until it feathered above your mound. You held your breath as if any noise from you would assure that he would continue his actions as if he would forget you were there. You felt his pause when his fingers hit the material of your cotton underwear. He slowly traces a short line along your clit, you ball your hands into fists wanting to make him stop. Why was your body enjoying this?

You hold your breath as he gently pulls them down till they were at your knees and returns his hand to its previous place. The empty room is quiet, amplifying the sound of both of your breaths. You feel his middle and ring finger move lower gently stroking your folds. You hear him let out a surprised huff as he continued stroking.

“I was gonna bring lube, but it looks like we won’t be needing it, huh sweetheart?”

You felt your cheeks heat up, he was right. You felt heat building ever since he grabbed your chin, but he didn’t need to know that. All you wanted to do was at the very least was cover your face, but felt the irritation of the rope on your wrists instead. He began back and forth on your heat for a few moments. The room now having the added noise of his fingers slowly speeding up as he stroked you. You shut your eyes as he circled around your entrance, you could already tell his fingers would be significantly bigger than yours. He slowly inserted a finger as you sucked in a quick breath. You could hear him let out a quiet groan as he watched his finger disappear into your hole.

After finding a rhythm he added another finger. You let out a whimper at the fullness of both of his thick fingers filling your hole. It stung at first, hurting slightly you wanted to try and stop his intrusion. Besides your finger, you had never had anything else inside of you. You felt slightly embarrassed by this when you were younger but as you got older you accepted the fact that your lack of social life was a major reason as to why you never had anything close to a romantic partner. Never being social enough to meet someone that you would want to be friends with, let alone sleep with. You felt as though you should tell this man, did you even know his name, that this was the farthest you’ve ever gone with anyone before. Before you think any more about it you open your mouth, nothing coming out at first but it was enough for his eyes to go to your face. He slowed down his pace and had his eyes trained on your face waiting for you to speak as if his fingers weren’t leisurely stroking your soft walls in the meantime.

“I- I think I need to tell you something” The words left you slowly and your voice was shakey as you tried to speak and ignore your oncoming orgasm at his rough fingers stroking you gently. Why did you feel like you owed him this? You briefly thought to yourself. But it was too late to stop now.

He smirked at you as he waited for you to continue on. So far, you’ve shown him nothing but submissiveness. Cementing the fact that he made the right choice when he chose you. He didn’t plan on being this gentle with you originally but he couldn’t help it, feeling as though any other treatment would scare you away. His fingers never stopping their gentle strokes, he watched your lips as your quiet voice trembled on.

“I’ve never really, I haven’t done any of this before. I’m a virgin” the words leave you slowly, you gulp and still refuse to meet his gaze, scared for a moment that you would lose the gentleness he has given you thus far. You knew that wouldn’t stop him, but a small part of you hoped it would be enough for him to stop just for now. For the first time you decided to look at his face, still too scared to meet his eyes you opted to watch his mouth as you waited for a response.

To say he was ecstatic was an understatement. You had chosen to tell him this on your own, he didn’t even get a chance to ask you. He didn’t want to assume but based on his observations of you he had an inkling that this was the case. He felt proud of you, his perfect girl. He smiled gently at you in response. You shivered as his fingers paused their gentle strokes in you as he moved to kiss the top of your head.

“Thank you for telling me, my good girl” it sounded patronizing but your body thought otherwise. Feeling heat shoot straight to your core at his response. He felt you squeeze around his fingers at his response.

Once he felt that you adjusted to his fingers he began to alternate inserting them. Thrusting one and then the other inside of you. Your eyes squeezed shut, you never felt this close to cumming so quickly. Your eyes swelled with tears as you quietly sobbed, reaching your climax. Both of you watched as he pulled his fingers out of your sensitive heat. Covered in slick from your climax. You watched as he moved his fingers close to his face, smirking at you.

“Just a little taste for now,” he said he brought his fingers to his mouth to suck on his two fingers that were just inside you seconds ago. The empty room amplified the sound, your face felt hot as you watched the lewd act feeling your core still throbbing.

He reveled in your obvious embarrassment, humming at your reaction. He wiped his damp fingers on his pants as he got up. You blinked slowly, taking in what had just happened. You had enjoyed what had just happened but felt angry at yourself for that. He shouldn’t have done that, and you had let yourself succumb to his fingers so easily. He watched you, deep in thought with your eyes spaced out. His cock throbbed as if reminding him he needed a release too but he didn’t want to scare you. He had a plan, but you had just showed him that he didn’t have to be as rough as he initially thought with you. And he wouldn’t ever admit it but he couldn’t have even if he wanted to, as soon as he interacted with you it was almost as if he needed to handle you with care. Something that he thought wasn’t in his nature, but for you, maybe he’d try.

He felt his confident demeanor waver for a second, an odd feeling. He needed to get away from her and have a moment alone, so with a quick glance, he turned towards the door and practically ran out of the room without speaking to her.

Too busy thinking, you didn’t notice the foreign feelings your captor had just experienced. Only noticing this broad figure leaving the room as if he was late for something. If you weren’t so busy scolding yourself you would have wondered if you had done something wrong to elicit that action from him.

#bucky x you #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes fanfiction #winter solider x reader #stalker!bucky #stalker!bucky x reader #winter soldier x reader #bucky x y/n #bucky barnes x y/n #dark!bucky barnes #dark!bucky x reader #Bucky Barnes #soft!bucky #bucky x reader #bucky fic #bucky imagines #marvel imagines #soft dark!bucky #bean writes

[godtier1]

let's go with Misfit and/or Armor for DinCobb :3

Thank you Niki!! I’ve cross-posted this to ao3 as well cause I *really* wanted to bring us to 600 fics ehehehehe

Prompts are: “falling in and out of a restless sleep. Feeling safe when a loved one presses a kiss to their forehead and strokes their hair.”

And

“getting out of bed too soon, insisting they feel much better, and collapsing/passing out”

Din was between bounties, hurtling through space on hyperdrive, when the call from Cobb came in. He was lightly dozing when he was woken up with the sound of beeping coming from up above. He shot up in his bunk, hitting his head on the top, before cursing loudly and slowly making his way to the cockpit. Whoever was calling couldn’t be important enough to make him hurry.

“Hello Cobb,” he said, sounding slightly out of breath. He could hear Cobb laughing, and his visage on the other end had his hands on his hips.

“Howdy. Didn’t think you were going to answer,” Cobb replied, sounding rather amused. “I didn’t wake you, did I? I didn’t know where you’d be, so I wasn’t sure what time of day it would be for you.”

Din straightened his stance and cleared his throat.

“You, um, didn’t wake me, don’t worry,” he said. Then he could feel his face grow hot as he continued, “I was actually planning to swing by Tatooine soon, if you’d be up for a visit.” Cobb’s crooked grin faltered at that.

“Ah, actually, I was kind of hoping you might be available even sooner. Like, the day after tomorrow soon.” Din could tell from the holocall that Cobb was shifting back and forth from foot to foot. It had been a while he’d seen his friend seem so worried. He checked his coordinates and what time it was currently on Tatooine.

“If I left now I could probably be in Mos Pelgo by sunrise the day after tomorrow.” Din thought for a moment before commenting. “Are you… are you okay?”

Cobb just sighed, running a hand over his face.

“Yeah I’m alright.” He laughed nervously. At Din’s concerned stare, he continued.

“I finally found someone here on Tatooine who would be willing to take the tracking chip out of my head. I’ve been trying to find someone for years who would do it, and this is the first time I’ve had any luck.”

Din let out a soft gasp at that. He knew Cobb had been a slave in his youth, had seen his brand on more than one occasion, but hadn’t stopped to consider the possibility that he would still be chipped.

“That’s fantastic Cobb!” Din exclaimed, feeling truly ecstatic for his friend. “What can I do to help? You said you need me there?”

“That’s… yeah, so here’s the thing,” Cobb began, a weary look on his face. “There ain’t a lot of docs on Tatooine that will take out a slaver’s chip, right? You can get in a lotta trouble doing that. But on the flip side, if someone were to pose as a doctor and offered to take a chip out…”

Din sucked in a harsh breath.

“They could leave the chip in and sell you back into slavery.”

“Bingo,” Cobb replied with a tired sigh. “That’s why I need someone I know I can trust to see me through this. I hate to impose Din, I really do…”

“I’m setting a course for Tatooine as we speak. Where are you getting the procedure done?”

Cobb laughed, sounding optimistic for the first time during this conversation.

“Mos Eisley. I really do appreciate you, you know that right?”

Din blushed again, feeling too hot under his helmet.

“It’s not a problem. I’ll see you soon?”

Cobb gave Din a little wave.

“See ya soon friend. Safe travels, as always.”

————————————————————————-

When Din spotted Cobb outside hangar 3-5, he could feel his heart do a little flip against his ribcage, which was a more common occurrence the longer he’d known the man. He waved in greeting, expecting Cobb to smile and eagerly approach him. Such was the song and dance Din had grown accustomed to. However, Cobb just looked around himself nervously before walking quickly to Din’s side.

“Hey Din,” he said quietly, looking rather pale. “Alright, here’s the deal. My procedure is in an hour, in the seedy district in the center of town. I’ve requested that they let you be present for it, which is awful, I know, I’m sorry. I promise, you won’t have to watch, you’ll just need to be sure they don’t take me while I’m under. Once I’m awake, I should be able to get myself back home.”

Din paused for a moment, taking in all of Cobb’s words, before hesitantly putting a sturdy hand on his shoulder. Cobb jumped slightly at the touch.

“Alright, I can do that. Though I’m not about to let you go home by yourself, you know that right?”

Cobb sighed.

“You sure? I know how busy you are, I hate to intrude more than I already have.”

Din shook his head in fond exasperation.

“Yes, I’m sure. I’ll worry half to death if I don’t go with you.”

Cobb grinned sheepishly, before offering Din his arm.

“Shall we?”

————————————————————————

Cobb had been all too right when he had called their destination the seedy part of town. There were suspicious folks around every corner, hoods up or masks on, concealing their faces. Cobb lightly tugged on Din’s arm and led him to a non-descript looking building.

Once inside, things moved very quickly. Before Din knew it, Cobb was lying on his back on a makeshift gurney, the doctor and her assistants prepping him for surgery. Luckily Din was not a squeamish man, so he wasn’t worried about feeling faint during the operation, but when he saw the medical assistants strap Cobb to the gurney and place a piece of leather in his mouth, he began to panic.

“Hey, what the hell are you doing?” he asked, alarm seeping into his voice. The assistants paused in their task, before the doctor shooed them back to work. She turned to Din.

“Standard procedure, surely you understand? We can’t have him flailing all over the place while we’re trying to work.”

It was at that moment that Din realized they would be operating without anesthesia, and his stomach dropped into his boots. He chanced a glance down at Cobb, who was just as frazzled. He was already sweating profusely. Din stood by the gurney and dabbed at Cobb’s forehead with his cape. Cobb leaned into the touch with a shaky sigh.

“It shouldn’t take long, right? That’s what you said? So just hang in there, I’ve got your back.”

Cobb nodded, and Din slowly offered him his hand. He gripped it like a lifeline.

———————————————————————-

The procedure was quick, barely fifteen minutes, but it was the longest fifteen minutes of his life. Din stood by the whole time, far enough to be out of the doctor’s way, but close enough to keep holding Cobb’s hand. Cobb let out muffled scream after muffled scream, squeezing Din’s hand hard enough to bruise.

When the doctor held the bloody tracking chip aloft, Din could cry from relief. He knew how much this meant to Cobb, so by extension, it meant the world to him too.

Once Cobb’s head was stitched and bandaged, the medical assistants immediately hoisted him up to standing. Din was at his side at once, protesting the decision to have him up and about so quickly.

“Sorry,” the doctor replied, “we don’t have a recovery room here, and I have another patient soon. You’ll have to find somewhere else for him to recuperate.”

Cobb leaned heavily against Din’s armor, his knees slowly buckling under him as he breathed heavily and tried to stay upright. Din wrapped a hand securely around Cobb’s back to steady him as he glared daggers at the doctor through his T-visor.

As they walked back into the oppressive Tatooine heat, Cobb staggered along at Din’s side, barely conscious. Din gave him a quick squeeze.

“I’ll find us a hotel room for the night, alright?”

Cobb shook his head, then seemed to regret it as he winced at the sudden movement.

“I’m fine Din. I just want to go home.”

Din raised an eyebrow skeptically.

“You’re in no condition to travel, Cobb, and it’s a long ride back to Mos Pelgo.”

Cobb brought a shaking hand to his mouth for a moment, looking rather sick, before swallowing thickly and slouching back against Din.

“Please. Just take me home.”

————————————————————————

By the time the pair reached Cobb’s home the dual suns had long since set, leaving Mos Pelgo bathed in the dim lights from the sparse dwellings around them.

Cobb had passed out miles back, leaving Din to grip him tightly in front of him on the speeder to keep him from falling. He carried Cobb bridal style into his home, where he gently deposited him on his bed. Din quickly removed his armor, sans helmet, before joining Cobb under the covers. Cobb blearily opened his eyes, a low whine escaping his throat, before he closed his eyes and went back under once more.

Din sighed as he laid on his side, facing Cobb in the dark. It wouldn’t be the first or last time they would share a bed like this. Each subsequent time they did this, one of them always grew a step bolder. A hand on a bicep. A pair of legs tangled with the other’s. Cobb’s forehead against Din’s helmet.

Tonight Din grew even bolder still. Once he was sure Cobb was really asleep, he gripped the lip of his helmet and pulled, fresh air chilling his face. He looked down at his sleeping companion, through his own eyes for the first time, and smiled as he carefully brushed a strand of hair away from Cobb’s angular face. He battled with himself for just a moment before leaning down and sweeping his lips against Cobb’s forehead, mindful of the bandages covering his left temple.

He could practically feel Cobb smiling.

——————————————————————-

“What are you doing up?” Din asked in alarm as he entered the bedroom the next afternoon, cup of soup and glass of water in hand.

Cobb was standing shakily by the bed, grasping tightly to the dresser to stay upright. He slowly raised his head and smiled weakly up at Din. His strength might have been gone, but his charm was certainly not.

“Howdy Din,” he rasped as he let go of the dresser, only to sway alarmingly and clutch on to it again. If Din hadn’t been so deeply worried, he might have chuckled at the similarity to Grogu when he stumbled around.

“Cobb,” he warned as he put his food on the dresser. “You shouldn’t be up and about. For kriff’s sake, you just had surgery less than twenty four hours ago.” Cobb just waved him off nonchalantly.

“M’fine, I have things to do. Gotta stop in at Werlo’s, gotta check on the vaporators, gotta…”

Then his eyes were rolling back in his head and he was pitching forward, and Din just barely reacted quickly enough to prevent him from hitting the ground.

———————————————————————-

Despite the circumstances of the surgery, Cobb’s recovery was swift. He was just as stubborn as Din had expected him to be, insisting on changing his own bandages and making his own meals. Din just rolled his eyes and let him do what he wanted, hovering by closely just in case he needed a steadying arm.

When Cobb took off the bandages at last, a prominent scar resided on his left temple. He would wear it proudly for the rest of his life.

Then when Din was sure Cobb was finally healed well enough to hold a blaster, he held out the still bloody tracking chip to him. Cobb stared at it for a moment, looking surprised, before his lips turned up in a wide grin.

“How far do you reckon I would need to blast this thing to kingdom come?”

#fanfic prompt #feel free to send me prompts anytime! #my ask box is always open! #dincobb

[just-a-cheese-stick]

(Possible tw for mentions of a broken bone, ivs, and surgery. It isn’t graphic tho)

Naeleon Week day 5 (Flowers)

Non despair au

“Just breathe Leon it’s going to be ok”

‏‏‎‎“What? You expect me to be calm before literally being minutes away from being cut open?” From his tone, it was easy to tell that Leon was panicked.

“sweetie, you’re going to be fine. Your arm is going to feel much better after this, ok?”

‏‏‎

Leon had broken his wrist at a baseball game about a week ago. After getting it checked out, the doctor concluded he would need surgery for the bone to fully heal.

This idea did not sit well with him in the slightest.

Though he would never say it, he was deadly terrified of any kind of medical procedure. Even though he never has directly told anyone, his reaction to them said enough. ‏‏‎ ‎

Every time he went in for one he would boarder on anxiety attacks. Makoto noticed this when he went in to get his wisdom teeth pulled, and started going with him from then on.

A nurse came into the waiting room and called Leon into the hospital room. Immediately, his mood went from defiant and angry to visibly anxious and small. He gripped Makoto’s hand with the hand not connected to his broken arm.

“Sit down right over here for me we’ll be with you in a second” the nurse told him as they entered the room.

Leon sat down on the hospital bed and began fidgeting anxiously with his arm brace.

“Nervous?”

‏‏‎‎“What? Me? No!” Leon quickly replied defensively.

He paused.

“do you want me to hold your hand?” Makoto offered.

Leon quickly nodded, holding his boyfriend’s hand tightly.

Makoto could feel the other’s hand shaking in his. It was clear he was nervous.

“It’s gonna be ok. You’re strong. I know you can do this,” Makoto brushed his thumb over the top of Leon’s hand in an attempt to comfort him.

“Thanks,” Leon glanced to the side.

A door opened, and three nurses entered. One of them, they both recognized as one of their upperclassmen, Mikan, who was likely interning here for her talent as the ultimate nurse.

“Hi, how are we doing?” One of the nurses said, rather upbeat.

Leon shrunk into the hospital bed he was sitting in, anxious about starting, but still held onto Makoto’s hand.

“This is dumb,” He grumbled quietly.

“W-Well i-in order for your- ... -for your arm t-to fully h-heal, y-you n-need to get the s-surgery. S-So it’s not d-dumb,” Mikan, the other nurse replied.

“He’s a bit anxious,”

“No I’m not!”

“Don’t be scared! You won’t even know it’s happening,” one of the nurses reassured.

“Chill, I’m not scared. Just think this is Stupid. That’s all,”

”C-Could you lay d-down?” Mikan asked.

Leon noticeably tensed.

“We’re not s-starting y-yet. W-We’re m-moving you to the pre-op room, but we’re j-just gonna check y-your vitals, ok?” The nurses moved over to raise the small protective bars on the side of the bed.

Two of them moved the bed into the operating room while Makoto walked beside the bed, making small-talk to a very anxious Leon, who, at this point had given up on trying not to seem nervous.

The third nurse stayed behind to sort out medications for the procedure.

It was a rush of taking blood pressure and temperature and other miscellaneous vital checks, but after a few minutes, an IV bag was brought up to the hospital bed.

Seeing that caused both Leon and Makoto to panic a little. Especially Leon.

Since he was a kid he hated those things. Plus, it meant they were starting.

Makoto was nervous because once Leon was under the anesthesia and asleep, he would have to leave his side until the procedure was done. He didn’t want to leave him though. He’d feel awful. Especially with how anxious he was about everything.

Makoto grabbed onto Leon’s hand to try and keep him calm.

But, judging by Leon’s death grip, he was nowhere near that.

‎“This is the anesthesia. It may take a second to work, but once it does, you’ll be completely asleep so you don’t feel any part of the surgery,” the nurse explained.

“And it goes in through an IV?” Leon’s tone alone was enough to tell he wasn’t just nervous being faced with the inevitability that he would go under surgery. He was terrified.

“Yep!”

“I’m gonna need you to put your arm down, please,” The nurse requested.

hesitantly, Makoto and Leon let go of each other’s hands, causing the anxiety to rise in both of them almost immediately.

The needle went into his arm, causing Leon to hiss in discomfort.

“Now, we’re gonna need you to count back from 10 for us.”

Makoto rested his hand on Leon’s good shoulder that wasn’t connected to his broken arm.

“T-Ten, Nine, Eight, Seven.. S..iix, ..fffi..” And with that, Leon was asleep, and Makoto was ushered out of the room to allow the operation to begin.

Makoto sat in the waiting room, anxiously scrolling through his notifications. He already was kind of worried. He didn’t want his boyfriend to wake up in any pain, or even be in any pain to that matter.

He got bored of looking at nothing, and began to get hungry.

He knew the hospital had a gift shop, so maybe he could go find himself something to eat and something nice he could get Leon while he was waiting.

Makoto got up from his seat and went to go find it.

“Excuse me, could you point me to the gift shop, please?” Makoto asked the man at the front desk.

“Yeah. It’s downstairs on the first floor. It’s labeled. You shouldn’t have a hard time finding it,” the man replied.

“Thank you.”

He stepped into the elevator and pressed the “1” button, which led to the first floor of the hospital.

The doors closed and the elevator began moving downwards.

With a “ding” the elevator reached the first floor.

Makoto walked out and started looking around for the gift shop.

A small indoor store labeled “gift shop” stood out.

That must be it.

Makoto entered the store.

The inside looked just like what you’d expect of a hospital gift shop.

It was filled with racks and racks of stuffed animals, “get-well-soon” cards, shirts, flowers, balloons, small candies and snacks, and a few other small objects.

Makoto walked around to find something to snack on and something for Leon.

The first thing that caught his eyes were the flower bouquets.

There was a large variety of flowers to choose from, but since he knew Leon likes the smell of lavender, he chose the lavender bouquet.

He looked around the store for some more nice things for his boyfriend after he wakes up.

The next thing that caught his eye was the rack of cards. He looked around at the “get-well-soon” to try and find something cute or funny.

He settled on a cute card with a corgi on the cover of it.

Makoto browsed the rest of the shop for anything else, and remembered he was hungry.

He browsed the shelf containing small snacks and found a row of stuffed bears holding a small jar of chocolates.

He had to get Leon one. They were just too cute. And, the chocolates would be good for the mood.

Makoto picked one up and put it with the rest of the gifts, and grabbed himself a bag of takis before moving to the checkout.

He checked out and returned back to his seat in the waiting room. Only about 15 minutes had passed, so it was back to the anxious boredom of scrolling through useless notifications and occasionally playing games that he had trouble focusing on.

But at least he had something to eat.

The minutes felt like hours, hours like days. Finally, after two anxious hours, a nurse came into the waiting room.

“Makoto?” A nurse called.

“That’s me.” He got up from his seat and fallowed the nurse somewhat eagerly with gifts in hand.

The nurse opened the door to the recovery room and walked him in.

“He may be a little loopy since he just woke up,” the nurse explained.

“Ok. Thank you so much!”

He walked into the recovery room and saw Leon in the bed, just barely awake.

“Hey Leon.”

Leon turned his head towards Makoto. “Who are you?”

“You don’t remember me?” Makoto softened his voice so he doesn’t overwhelm Leon.

“nah,” Leon replied, still only half awake.

“I’m Makoto, remember?” Leon had already fallen asleep again. This didn’t last long. He woke up again after a minute.

“Hey” Leon said still sounding dazed from the anesthesia.

“Hi Leon.”

Leon swiftly turned his head to him in surprise. “Wait how d’you know m’name?”

Makoto chucked in response.

“How?” Leon asked again.

“You told me.”

Leon looked at him confused.

“wwwhen?”

“Five years ago.”

Leon paused for a second, but seemed to have forgotten what he was going to say. “Hey koto.”

“hmm?”

“You’re the most beautiful person I’ve evrseen.”

‏‏‎ This took Makoto by surprise. He could feel a blush spread across his face.“Thank you!”

“you’re sweet and perfect and cute and amazing and beautiful,” Leon started to ramble, sounding no less dazed than when Makoto had first came in to visit him.

“Well, I think YOU’RE the most beautiful person that I’ve ever seen,” Makoto replied, still blushing.

Leon paused. “Nah, syou.”

‏‏‎Makoto chuckled. “If you say so.”

“Yeah I’m sure.”

‏‏ ‎There was a brief silence.

“Do you have a girlfriend?” Leon questioned.

Makoto shook his head.

“You got a boyfriend?”

Makoto nodded his head. Leon looked slightly disappointed.

“Who s’it?”

“It’s you, Leon.” A smile grew on Makoto’s face.

Leon’s eyes widened.

“How???” He asked. “How’d I get such a cute guy?”

Makoto chuckled fondly.

“I asked myself the same thing when you asked me out.” Makoto smiled fondly when remembering that day.

“No way...”

Tho two continued chatting until Leon finally was able to fully wake up. That was when a doctor came in to discharge him.

The few papers given were filled out and Leon was discharged.

They returned to the car and began to drive back home.

“Oh, I got you some stuff from the gift shop,” Makoto told Leon, who was in the back seat with a blanket he’d brought from home

“you did?” Leon could feel himself beginning to smile.

“Mhm!”

“You really didn’t have to do that, man.”

“I know. I just felt really bad when you got so anxious back there.”

“Don’t remind me,” Leon grumbled, embarrassed.

“Sorry. I won’t judge, though!”

A small smile grew on Leon’s face. “Thanks.”

The car pulled into the driveway and both got out. Before the surgery, they’d agreed to have Leon stay at Makoto’s house the rest of the day. Leon didn’t exactly have the best relationship with his dad and being around him wouldn’t be the best thing right after the stress of surgery.

“Do you wanna go take a rest?” Makoto could tell Leon was tired, seeing as he was on the verge of falling asleep in the back of the car.

“That would be nice,” Leon replied with a yawn.

“You can go lay down in my room. And I’ll bring you those gifts I got you earlier,” Makoto offered.

Leon nodded his head, and tightly hugged Makoto with his good arm. “What did I do to deserve such an amazing boyfriend?”

He let go and walked himself to bed. Makoto came in soon after with a bouquet of lavender, a small stuffed bear with chocolates, and a card.

Leon could feel himself smile from the kind gesture. “You didn’t have to do all this man.” Leon was already red in the face.

“I know.” Makoto sat down on the bed. “But I wanted to.”

He handed him the lavenders first, which made his face light up.

“These are so pretty. Thank you so much dude!”

Makoto smiled in response and then handed him the bear and card. Both gifts were very Makoto gifts to give, and that was what made Leon so happy. That they were clearly given by Makoto.

“I love these so much. Thanks dude.”

Makoto was beaming at this point.

“I was about to lay down. Wouldja wanna join me?” Leon asked.

“I’d love to.”

They both laid down and pulled the covers over them.

“Here wait. The doctor said it would be good to elevate your arm. Would you like a pillow for that?” Makoto offered.

“Sure. Thanks so much dude. Really.”

Leon slipped his arm out of the sling and put it on the pillow.

He pulled Makoto to his chest with his good arm and holding him firmly, placing the occasional kiss on his forehead.

“Hey,” Leon said, beginning to feel himself fall asleep. “Hmm?”

“You know, I love you so much. You really mean the world to me man,” Leon pressed his face gently against the other’s.

“You too.” Makoto wrapped both of his arms around the other, pulling him into a tight hold. He still kept his broken arm in mind and was extremely careful with any area around it, making sure he applied minimal pressure to the area.

“I love you, man.”

“Love you too”

And with that, soft snores could be heard coming from Leon, and Makoto fallowed soon after.

Before they knew it, they were both asleep in the other’s arms.

#naeleonweek2020 #naeleon #fluff #flowers #surgery #hospitals #this is so late and I’m sorry #kuwaegi #leonaegi #lucky strike #luckystrike #this sucks but I tried #makuwata #leokoto

[sondrox]

Infernal Tales Chapter 5 - This chapter made me go from K+ to M rating

I said most of the stories here would be Charlie x Vaggie oriented, most of them...

Usually, I wouldn't add warning for my stories, because where is the fun on that? But for this case:

Gore and severe violence in this chapter, viewer discretion is advice.

Synopsis: Angel Dust's beggining with Valentino.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Wait here."

"I'm not going anywhere, darling." Angel Dust flirted to a bodyguard winking at him.

"...Stupid bitch," said the bodyguard before leaving to search for one of his companions, and left Angel Dust in the back of a recording set. He pulled out a pack of cigarettes to appear natural and avoid looking like an idiotic mannequin standing all alone.

After a while the actors and the director of the set arrived and filming began. Angel Dust knew what he was getting into when he sought the attention of Valentino, one of the greatest, if not the greatest pimp in Pentagram City. His money was starting to run dry, as well as his luck at finding jobs that didn’t have sexual aspects.

"Hey, isn’t she that Angel whore" Someone confused his gender, again.

The guys behind him kept talking but he just avoided turning to them and feigned deaf ears to avoid more trouble than necessary.

"Now that you say it, I think so, did you see that video where she fapped six guys at the same time?"

"Six? I counted 9."

"I say she’d give me her number."

"Uff, sure I could make her go out with me, I could jack off just imagining it."

"You fucking freak..."

The two guys continued arguing with each other, Angel just continued to ignore them.

The door opened and the bodyguard came out and gestured for Angel to come in. As he passed between the two Angel bodyguards, he lifted his four middles fingers of their hands as he walked away.

As soon as he entered, Angel was greeted by the smoke of a cigar that someone was smoking at the entrance. Hell, even he wasn't used to such strong cigars. Despite his best attempts, he couldn't help coughing up some of that smoke and ended up teary-eyed for a moment, it felt like bags of excrement had been stuffed up his nostrils all the way to his lungs. And the worst part is that the stench wasn't just from the type of cigarette he left. It was permeated throughout the room.

Valentino's offices, more than offices per se, were a small club within the studio for several of his associated. Several strippers in tubes with demons surrounding them were placed around the many floors of the high floors of the building, and even more several pairs of tables across the room with more demons on them who were talking, getting high, and more. Angel could even see one of Valentino's girls sucking a woman's pussy from under the table, while she was talking to a horned demon much lower than her like nothing happened.

Angel followed the bodyguard around the room until they arrived with Valentino, who was in a secluded area on an elevated level, from where he could see the rest of the club. After passing the bodyguards

"B-boss," he gulped before continuing. "Here is Angel Dust as she requested."

"Actually I am a he–"

"Daniel." Called Valentino to the bodyguard and told him to move out of the way with his head.

Valentino smoked from his joint before speaking, exhaled through his nose and a cloud of red smoke that struck Angel. The demon spider tried not to be affected by the scent. But he was in vain. If the cigar from before was bad, this felt like he had been literally punched in the face and squeezed out of his lungs. He fell to his knees as he coughed up the red smoke. The moth demon just watched him while his companions just cackled.

“Come with me, I have something to teach you. Daniel, Alexander, you too,” Valentino called, and two bodyguards responded to his boss' call.

They left the pseudo club and walked past the recording sets. Everyone got out of the way as soon as they saw Valentino walking on their direction. Some even hid from his view behind boxes, other people, whatever they could find.

They reached the back of the building. Valentino took out a key and opened the door. They entered a room with several pieces of furniture covered with sheets and piles of dusty boxes, the only light came from an old ceiling flashing light ubicated at the center of the room.

Since Angel sat down, the gazes of the bodyguards fell on the back of his head. Cold sweat trickled down his neck and he was starting to soak his back. His leg bounced over and over no matter how much he concentrated on not doing it. Slowly, he settled his hand on his leg and squeezed it until he wanted to gasp. He masked the pain by settling into his seat, as if he were on his turf, confident and with a big, white-toothed smile.

Valentino was silent and the demon spider did not know what to do. Should he smile at him? Say something? The atmosphere seemed as if no one was present and everyone was on their own in the room. It was hard for him to ignore his heartbeat that echoed louder and louder. Not the music from the speakers in the club, the recording sets, or the voices of the people. No sound came in.

What Angel Dust didn't know is that no sound was going to come out either.

Angel's head was slammed against the table. It had been one of the bodyguards, Angel tried to get up and defend himself by taking out his six arms but the bodyguards were simply much faster and stronger. Their size gave them enough advantage that each could grab 3 Angel arms each.

"I've seen you for a while now, I didn't expect much of you, but I didn't think you were stupid enough to come with me," Valentino said as he approached Angel and grabbed him by the face.

“I also know that you know Cherri Bomb and that you have helped her in the wars for territories. I've tried hunting that bitch during months but she just won’t give in, so I'll have to settle for your pathetic ass." Then he tightened his grip on Angel's face to the point that Valentino's nails cut into Angel's skin and he began to bleed. "When you meet that cheap motherfucker again, and believe me, I know you will, tell her that if I see her in my territory again, both you and she will be truly sorry this time."

Angel heard Valentino talking and talking, but he could barely understand what he was saying. The next thing he felt was the bodyguard lifting by the neck and hem of his suit. Among the blurred vision of him he made out the second bodyguard removing a sheet from a piece of furniture, and revealed a table with 3 pairs of straps to tie him up.

That table was specifically designed for him.

They tied him by the feet, hands and even the neck. They placed the table directly under the light, Angel tried to get away, but after a few tries, Valentino came over and gave him a blow to the stomach that took the air out of Angel and spit out some blood as he stood still and trembling.

"Oh please don't get like that. Think of this as mere formality, after all, a good deal is the one signed in blood. Not mine of course."

Angel just spat blood in his face and he responded by spanking his face.

"Ah! You damn whore!” Valentino exclaimed before throwing a punch into Angel’s face. “Francisco! What the fuck are you waiting for!?" One of the bodyguards immediately opened the door and dragged an imp with a bag inside and threw it into the room, followed by a small scream.

Francisco got up in a hurry and adjusted his glasses after making sure they weren't broken.

"I-I'm sorry, Boss, uh, excuse me." He walked past the other bodyguard as he settled his bag on his shoulder. He tossed his bag onto the table before jumping on top of it.

Angel tried to free himself from the restraints until the straps began to mark his skin. He only stopped, shock in fear, when he saw Francisco in front of him.

"pdease help me...pease I bej ou." Angel stammered spitting blood between his words.

“I-I… I'm sorry… I'm really sorry that I have to do this. Usually most of our, uh, ‘guests’ are unconscious at this point and I…honestly don't have anything like anesthesia." He put on black gloves and took out some kind of tweezers from his bag. Angel tried to wriggle out even harder. “Please, I can't do this if you're moving…hey, Boss… If you could give some–” Francisco was cut off by the audible growl of his boss—as he tried to wipe the blood off his suit.

One of the bodyguards approached the table and grabbed Angel Dust by the head and chest. Francisco put the tweezers in Angel's mouth and with all the force he had, he pulled one of his teeth until it was removed.

Angel let out a great high-pitched shriek that turned into a thunderous scream as Angel shook over himself as much as he could. And as fast as it started, it finished. His body fell exhausted on the table almost dead.

The little imp placed the tooth he pulled out on a metal tray. The next thing Angel felt was the imp wiping the blood from his mouth and examining it for a few minutes, when he thought it was finally over, he felt his mouth being forced open once more and something was embedded in the hole where his tooth was. Angel flinched again but with less force, the bodyguards didn't have to hold him, and with good reason.

“I'm implanting you with a, uh, false tooth. A 'gold' tooth," Francisco said. "Just don't move it, or...try to remove it."

His body was exhausted. Everything felt distant and confused.

Just as Angel was about to fall asleep, Valentino gave him a wake-up slap and grabbed him by the hair.

"Look at me. And let me be clear to you. From now on.” Valentino leaned closer to Angel. "You. Are. Mine," He said before exhaling a small cloud of red smoke that hit Angel's face. The smoke made its way to his mouth and coated Angel's new tooth, giving it a bright reddish mantle for a second before disappearing.

Satisfied with the job, Valentino nodded and the bodyguard untied Angel.

Crawling off the table, Angel fell to the floor. He struggled for a few moments before regaining his strength to be able to stand up. His first idea was to crawl to the door, but before he could take a single step, the second bodyguard came between him and the exit. Then he heard a little laugh.

"Who said you could go?" Valentino said. The bodyguard who prevented him from leaving forced him to turn around and as soon as he saw his new boss, he grabbed him by the jaw.

At Angel's pain, Valentino's vile smile grew bigger as he tightened his grip.

“If I tell you to pose, you pose for the camera. If I tell you to fuck, you fuck. And if I tell you to make Daddy happy..."

Angel just whispered babbling from his mouth.

"That's right, you make Daddy veeery happy."

From that day on, Angel became Valentino's prostitute, suffering and enduring every one of his orders and whims. Until one day Charlote Magne, Lucifer's daughter, opened the Hazbin Hotel.

Angel was in his room looking in the mirror while he tried to tie a small knot around his golden tooth, but he failed to do it again and again because of his hands that would not stop shaking.

"Let me do it," A voice said a voice behind Angel.

"God damn it…I told you I can do it."

"Give me that thing." The voice grunted and stepped in front of Angel.

"Ugh! For fuck’s sake Husk!"

Angel held his mouth until Husk made sure to tighten the knot by giving it a few light tugs.

He grabbed the other end of the rope and tied it to the knob in the room.

"Ready?" Husk asked and Angel gave him a thumbs up.

Husk opened the door and quickly slammed the door and his tooth fell to the ground.

"Did he really put a gold tooth on you?" Husk asked as Angel picked it up.

"N-no. This is just a trinket he used to…mark…us. A-as far as I know, his tooth is actually gold. But Cherri says she knows a guy who can help me get a normal tooth. "

"And you think that shit is safe?"

“Well, it's not like I want to go without a tooth around everywhere, I must look fabulous, duh, ”he joked as he pointed to his own body." Especially for my little Husky." Angel flirted with him causing an expected blush on his face that he tried in vain to hide.

"If...you need some help I, ah, I can, ah, accompany you..." Husk offered.

That was something Angel was not expecting.

"I would love that."

But not something he was going to reject, and he hugged it right there. They stayed in that position for a long time until a voice interrupted them.

"Husk, my good friend! As much as I love that you wallow in your sins with our fellow vermin, I need you to help me with a little chore," Alastor said with his typical over enthusiastic tone standing at the door of the room.

"Go fuck yourse-"

"NOW." He imposed with a grave unearthly voice.

"Fucking pimp..." he cursed him in a low voice.

"It’s okay, go," Angel whispered to him.

Husk accepted and left Angel alone. Soon, in the silence, Angel hesitated if getting a new tooth was a good idea in the first place.

On more than one occasion Angel had removed the tooth that Valentino put in on his own, but Angel had died several times during his stay in hell and each time Valentino's tooth was still with him after every death; effect of the red glow he placed on his tooth.

So if every time he died, he came back with the gold tooth, all he had to do was not die anymore, not put himself in any situation that would put his life in danger. Easy right?

"Easy peasy," Angel told himself confidently. "That...sounded so much better in my head."

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Probably this will not be my last stories with Angel Dust, but it will definitely be a lot less gory than this one.

#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel fanfiction #Angel Dust #valentino #Alastor #Angel Dust x Husk #fanfiction #writing #husk #cherri bomb

[self-ships-ahoy]

My Heart in Your Hands

Saturday (Feb 13th) Heart / Soul / Confession

Summary: During the events of Mann vs. Machine, Technician faces her greatest fear for the good of her friends - and the love of her life.

Warnings: General depictions of surgery (nothing too graphic, but there is a lot of talk about Tech’s heart in the second half)

Word Count: 1,307

A/N: Ok...I am very very nervous about posting this fic. I had to scramble to find a good reason for Tech to have this surgery done (i.e. if lives were on the line), and I’m just always nervous when presenting my writings with Medic. I have seen quite a few people be critical about his depictions, if he’s ‘in character’ enough, and I was afraid of being met with that kind of criticism. But writing is supposed to be for fun, and IF I’m a little ooc with him, so what? I put a whole lot into this fic, and you’re going to really see the extent of their feelings, so I’m proud of it. (Also, about the end, I am totally one to use wordplay even if I’m just coming out of anesthesia, so yeah Tech is like that too.)

~ 💖 ~

     For as long as she could remember, Technician's greatest fear and weakness had been anything related to medical procedures. From the smell of a sterilized office to the mere sight of a needle, it all made her anxious at best and panic-stricken at worst. Everyone at the RED base knew this, since they heard how she ‘freaked out’ during her initial physical examination. Fortunately, although her phobias still remain, her reactions have started to become less severe over time, thanks in big part to her relationship with Medic. Forming a friendship, and later a romantic affair, with him helped her tolerance to her fear triggers greatly. Her desire to see him had her visiting the medbay often, where she soon became accustomed to many sights and smells of the lab. The doctor remained supportive of Technician working to overcome her fears, and he took an active role in the process. Still, Katie had a long way to go, and he knew that. He knew, by now, what kind of answer he would get to a proposed surgery, even though he only offered what was for her benefit. "It's very sweet that you care that much, but it's just not worth it to me." So, he would sigh in defeat and drop the subject, loving her too much to breach the boundaries she set.

     This pattern continued until 1971. Mann Co. was under siege by Grey Mann, effectively taking control from Saxton Hale with an army of robots. Both Red and Blu teams were hired to take back the company, so far with little avail. It all seemed pointless to Technician, at first, if not fortunate; this could be her ticket out of here, if she could convince Grey to fire her. Then the game changed. In an effort to drive the mercs away for good, Grey's forces managed to sabotage and shut down respawn - for good. Now, they could actually die. After so many years of being alone, Katie couldn't bear the thought of losing her friends. With Medic's new reviving invention still a work in progress, that thought could become a reality. She would do anything to keep them safe, even just to increase that chance by a fraction of a percentage. This was what she came to talk to Medic about, one quiet afternoon at the base.

     The two of them sat on the couch in his office. The programmer remained silent, a hesitant and apprehensive frown on her face. She had yet to reveal why she called Medic here, and the longer she waited, the more concerned he became. However, his patience was finite, and spending the whole day on this conversation could be time otherwise spent working on his invention. "Darling," he addressed her gently, but with seriousness, "Vhatever is troubling you, don't be afraid to tell me about it; I cannot help you if you don't tell me...nor do I have time to vait much longer."

     Technician's chest tightened, her eyes squeezing shut for a moment. She couldn't wait forever. Sighing nervously, she began, "...I need you to...do something for me."

     "Anything," he answered without question.

     Another short pause. "I'm scared. I really think we could die out there..." She held his hand for support. "I can't lose you, Ludwig. You're the most important person in my life...and you're all my friends... You're the closest thing I have to family. So, I want to do whatever I can to help protect you."

     "...Vhat are you saying?"

     "...I want you to put Über in me."

     Medic couldn't believe what he heard. Technician seemed to have a knack for surprising him, but, understandably, this was a big deal. Thus far, she had refused every surgery offer presented to her, and now she comes to him and requests one? The man was no reader of emotions, but judging from the tension on her face, and how she squeezed his hand, it didn't seem like she was completely positive of the decision. Excited as he felt, he had to make sure they were on the same page, or he could lose her trust in him forever. "You are...absolutely sure of zhis?"

       Technician went quiet again before answering. "I don't know. But...I want to be. I don't want to be afraid of this, especially if it could help you stay alive. With how often I've fallen onto front lines, it could even protect me, too. But..."

     "If it's pain you're concerned about, I promise zhe pain medications I use, in addition to zhe medigun, vill decrease anything you feel down to manageable levels." He couldn't help but try to convince her to go through with it. Despite her indecision, he agreed with her points that supported the procedure; this could protect her and her friends, should she fall into danger. "You won't even need stitches," he added with a small smile.

     He was getting excited, she could hear it in his voice. Technician expected as much, but she had to finish. "It's not just about the pain. I just...I don't like operations, I never did. You know that... And...I wanted to make sure I could...trust you with it. And I do, now. It's just...hard."

     Medic's smile grew when he heard that he finally earned Technician's trust. That alone made him feel so accomplished. "I promise you, I vill handle zhe procedure vis as much care as I handle our fledgling doves. You have my word as a doctor - license or no." He tilted his head down to further meet her gaze. "Does zhat ease any of your fear?"

     "...Yeah. It does."

~~~

     On the day of the operation, Technician's friends all came to give their support. She was facing a great challenge for the good of the team, and for her own safety, a decision that they all could commend. Soldier told her she was making her country proud by pushing through the fear; Scout brought her some comic books to read for when she's in recovery; Sniper and Engineer pledged to stay by her bedside when she goes under and when she wakes up; even Spy said he would anticipate hearing her wake from a successful operation. Their faith and encouragement helped Technician move forward with this, and she kept their words and gestures in mind when nervously changing into her special hospital gown. Above all, she remembered all Medic promised to do for her, to keep her as comfortable as possible.

       Placing her jewelry in a plastic bag, her thumb brushed over the heart-shaped pendant of her necklace. That was a prized possession now, a symbol of how much she was cherished. As she stared at it, her mind began retracing every instance of Ludwig prioritizing her happiness. This...this was a man she wanted to spend the rest of her life with. And why: because she knew she could entrust him with her very life, even on the operating table. She knew that if she asked him to do or not do something, he would take that request seriously. She's going to go into the operating room with full confidence that Medic will do nothing more than implant the Über device in a human heart. That was true love.

     Technician made her way to the hospital bed, and squeezed Dell's hand as the I.V. went in her wrist. As she settled down from that, Medic gleefully presented his patient with precautions he doesn't usually take during surgery, such as a clean pair of gloves and keeping Archimedes at a distance, so the dove doesn't get tempted to play assistant surgeon. In the time between now and the first Über implantation, Medic had even been experimenting with his invention to make it more efficient, i.e. less likely to overload the patient's heart and what not. There was a good chance that Technician could come out of this with her original heart in tact.

     At last, the time came for her to be put under anesthesia, per her request. Katie kept her eyes away from the sight, but listened to Medic's voice as she slipped into unconsciousness. "You'll be awake and feeling good as new in no time, my dear. Don't worry..." he told her calmly as he watched her drift off. Engineer and Sniper then left the room, and the procedure began.

     Everything was running well. Throughout the procedure, Medic talked to his patient as if she was awake, from making light (one-sided) conversation to commenting on each step he was taking. (He said she had very healthy ribs, for instance.) At last, Technician's heart was successfully removed and resting in the doctor's delicate hold. He was being timely about each step so far, never stalling or rushing; but here was when he began to pause, staring at his love's heart while the medigun kept her on life support. The power he felt was indescribable, surmounted only by the honor of being granted the chance to literally hold Katie's very life in his hands. He, too, understood the significance of being allowed to perform this surgery on her, the amount of trust it showed she had in him. There was excitement from finally getting to operate, yes, but...it had yet to truly sink in until this moment.

       As he cradled the tiny, life-giving muscle, a euphoria began to overtake him. This was more than just the thrill of practicing medicine; this was finally realizing the meaning of his beloved not only allowing, but asking without prompt, to partake in her greatest fear. The love she had for him was stronger than her fear and doubt, for she realized that he would never hurt her. And for all the love he felt for her, and how much closer he would feel to her if given the chance to do this, hearing her finally approve was his strongest wish. Ludwig was already sure he had found The One, but now - oh, now he was 100% positive and then some. His breathing cut short a couple times as his eyes began to well up. But, instead of crying, he began to laugh - slowly, quietly, then rising in strength with his elation. It was a laugh of pure joy, unlike anything else ever heard in the operating room.

~~~

     Awaking from the anesthesia was a slightly difficult task, only due to Technician's penchant for prolonging sleep. With the pain medication still in her system, she had almost forgotten for a moment that she had underwent surgery. But a growing echo of voices helped pull her out of her induced slumber.      

     "I think she's comin' to, doc. Hey, Tech, can ya hear us?"

     "Come on, mate..."

     "Vake up, meine geliebte~. Zhe surgery is all over now."

     The sing-song tones of Medic's call lured her out of her sleeping state, and cerulean eyes fluttered open to the sight of the doctor's beaming smile. To her left, Engineer and Sniper sat with their own happy expressions. Technician turned her gaze back to Medic, attempting to speak through her haze. "Did...everything..."

     "Everything vent perfectly, darling, visout a hitch." Medic answered her, "I hadn't completed a procedure zhat smoothly in years, heh." In truth, there had been one or two slight deviations in the plan - minor errors that he was able to work around, and certainly not worth mentioning to the tomophobic programmer. That being said, it was still one of Medic's more successful operations. "How do you feel?"

     She thought for a moment, hesitant to feel her heart in case she might feel the Über implant. "Strange...Tired... Chest feels tight. Is my heart okay?"

     Engineer spoke up with more words of reassurance, "Heart's a-OK, Techie. Doc said it survived the whole thing, no transplants 'r anything like that."

     "It vas remarkable to witness," Medic commented with glee, "For a heart of such small size, I vas expecting more resistance to zhe device. My upgrades must have made an even greater improvement zhan anticipated!"

     The corners of her lips began to curl as she heard the great news. Above all, she was worried about her heart needing to be replaced with something bizarre for the device to work. But, the doctor fulfilled his promises and kept her heart intact...as did another force unbeknownst to her. Should someone tell her of it, she would show no surprise at the fact.

     Facing Medic again, Technician inched her hand closer to him, a kind look in her sleepy eyes. "I knew you could do it... I was in good hands."

#i also wrote that epilogue just because i could practically hear medic call out like that #with that nickname in particular #i really wanted to use it X3 #and an important note about the added surgery measures: #he still didn't feel they were necessary; but he complied to help tech feel comfortable #both because he loved her that much and cuz he didn't want her to back out #i'll stop my desire to overexplain there XD #dontneedavalentine2021 #dontneedadispenser #💗 Remote Surgery #self ship #self shipping #self ship community #selfship #self ships #selfships #selfships commuinty #selfship community #self shipping community #self shipper #self ship writing #📝 My Writing #fictional other #romantic f/o #🔧 Engie #🎯 Scopes #self ship fanfic #tf2 self ship #tf2 #self insert x canon

[kombatgf-archive]

❝ i haven’t been hugged in years. ❞ for kabal! - vince :p

this prompt has been in my drafts for months and i still have more to go! @bebopboyfriend

words: 900ish

cw: medical descriptions & hospitals

After so many surgeries, you know what to expect. The freezing air of the hospital fails to phase you anymore. You begin to subconsciously wake yourself following the time of your next medicine dosage. You've become accustomed to guiding the IV stand in your direction when you need to use the restroom. The haze of anesthesia has gotten less intense now and in so many hours you'll be wheeled out to your ride home. Kabal knew this environment all too well, it was second nature to him by this point. Little surprised him anymore and it was difficult to decide if that made it anymore comforting to him.

The skin grafting surgeries happened first and were amongst the most painful ones he had experienced. They were also the surgeries that made him feel the most vulnerable. Kabal usually denied any visitors during these, even years into treatment. Then there reconstructive ones that eased mobility, and though they happened later, the cosmetic surgeries were the most important to him. The initial surgery that followed the accident had caused a minor conflict in his relationship. He was in no shape to call up Annie to inform her of his state, and Kano sure as hell wasn't going to go out of his way to tell her himself. She understood later, of course, that there would've been no way for him to contact her. Yet still it upset him to think of the hours she had spent frantic when he'd suddenly gone missing.

“Now open your eyes,” Annie directs him. She lays on her waist in the middle of their bed, legs sprawled off to the side while a hand props her torso up. Kabal sits against the pillows, a pink spa band in a bow-knot keeps his hair from his face while she applies different prescribed ointments and moisturizers to his skin.

“Eyes opened,” he announces. She swipes the last of the cream on his under eyes and holds the sides of his face in her hands. His fingers fidget together, noticing a small smile growing on her face amidst the silence.

“Done already?” Kabal teases to ease his rising nerves as she stared into his eyes. Perhaps in the past his cockiness would be nothing close to a facade, but things were much different now. It did pain him to know he could never bring back who he once was. Had he not already been in a relationship, he very well could've spent his life as a recluse.

“All done.” She gently planted a kiss to the corner of his lips. Expecting him to reciprocate, Annie pulled away when his face was simply unmoving. His expression was merely flat and it became obvious now that there was a lot of uneasy energy surrounding Kabal. His brows softened, as if he wished to apologize to her but simply couldn't.

“Hey... What's wrong?”

“You shouldn't have to do this,” he replied.

“Do what?”

“Take care of me.”

A confused expression takes ahold of her face. Annie leans away now to give him his space. It wasn't unlike him to have doubts about himself, it was very obvious that his ordeal took a toll on his self esteem. What did surprise her though, was the fact this was unprompted. The day had gone as usual; they followed through with their routine and were amid the end of it. It wasn't often she was caught off guard by Kabal. His feelings were either hidden so completely you'd never know they were there, or expressed so often you couldn't mistake them. There were no signs of anything troubling him until right now. Had there been any, she would've addressed it earlier.

“And if the roles were reversed you wouldn't do the same?”

Kabal doesn't want to hear it but deep down, somewhere, he knows it's completely the truth. Had Annie been in his spot he would be completely overbearing with his care, doing anything and everything he could for her and even then some.

“That's different,”

“No it's not. Where is this coming from, Kabal?”

“I don't know,” He sighs. “It's not fair to you.” Kabal pulls the headband off, being careful not to get any lotion on it before it's placed on the nightstand. His gaze is averted to his lap where his hands lay folded, and still he can feel the eyes of his partner fixated on him. Kabal can see her movement from the corner of his vision as she stands up from the bed.

“If you would feel better doing these things yourself then I can step back,” Annie says. She gathers all the different tubes of cream off of the bed and puts them away in their nightstand drawer.

“It's not that either.”

She moves to the side of the bed and rests her palms down on his shoulders. His gaze moves to look up into her eyes in return.

“I can't find the words.” Kabal's voice sounds more frustrated the longer he tries to explain himself to her. He leans into Annie, burying the side of his face into her abdomen. His arms wrap around the other's waist and her clothes wrinkle around his grip. She hugs him in return, one hand flat on his back and the other cradling his head that rest against her.

“I haven’t been hugged in years,” He mumbles.

“I think this was long overdue then.”

#i know you already read it in the server but i like to tag your blog the way youd be tagged off anon! #ship: hooked on you #fic

[thgfanficinspo]

Fear of the Water - Ch 18

Finnick deals with the fallout from Annie’s breakdown (some sexy Capitol Finnick) (Henry Cavill was my fancast for Finnick before the movie came out)

My AO3 - Chapter 1 - Jonsa - Coryo - Discovery of Witches

(ANNIE)

When I wake up, I’m in a white tube. It’s small so small and I’m strapped down – arms, legs, body, even head. There’s a whirring, buzzing sound coming from within the walls. Then there are voices.

“Aw, shit, she’s awake.”

“Should we put her back down?”

I struggle against my bonds. Are they going to kill me? Why am I here? What are they doing to me?

“Yeah, she’s gonna fuss.”

There are footsteps now – coming toward me. I try to tear my arms out of their bonds but nothing happens. I scream. The voices yell to one another and I scream and I scream and I scream. I don’t want this. Finnick and Mags said it was over now and I was safe and I don’t think they’d lie to me but maybe they did or maybe they never said it at all I don’t want to die.

There’s a sharp pain in my right thigh. Then it goes dark.

(FINNICK)

We’re supposed to go back to that damn waiting room with the grey walls and floor-length windows and fake orchid.

I skulk around in the hallway after the others have gone inside, hoping to catch a moment alone with the female doctor who flirted with me. She comes out through a doorway which she locks behind her. She’s too distracted by the papers in her hand to notice me. I clear my throat and she looks up.

“Mr. Odair. Shouldn’t you be in the waiting room?”

“It’s a bit stuffy in their for my taste,” I say. “Especially after all that drama.” I straighten up and close the space between us.

“Yes, that was really something,” she agrees. Her eyes rake my body up and down. She has to turn away.

“Have you ever seen anything like that before?”

“I haven’t personally.”

“No?” I’m not nearly as smooth as I usually am. I’m too anxious to be charming. “Annie’s something special then.” I step up behind her and move her hair away from the side of her neck. “Like you.” I press my lips to the side of her neck and she nearly collapses. I keep my arms tight around her waist and pull her against me.

She gasps my name.

“Will you tell me something?”

“What?” she asks breathlessly.

I flick the tip of my tongue over the pulse-point of her throat. “What are you planning to do with Annie Cresta?”

“Anthea!” We both look up. Her male colleague is standing at the other end of the hallway. He’s a good ten years younger than she is, but he has an air of superiority about him. And he looks pissed.

The woman – Anthea, I guess – goes ramrod straight and tosses off my arms. “It’s not –”

“We need to talk,” he says simply, his glaring eyes locked on mine. Anthea hustles down the hall and through the door the male doctor came through. He and I maintain eye contact as long as possible, until the door shuts behind him.

I growl under my breath. “Fuck.”

I’ve definitely made things worse. If that other damn doctor hadn’t come in . . .

Mags is pacing around the room with one of her hands over her mouth when I come in. Proteus stands a few feet away from me, apparently deep in thought. Eefa has made a surprise visit, which she clearly regrets. No sign of Broadsea, but that’s no surprise. He’s probably passed out in his own puke by now. I normally wouldn’t care but I feel that since Eefa made it here, he should’ve at least tried.

Proteus raises an eyebrow at me, silently asking what I found out. I shake my head.

The same two doctors as before come out to speak to us after about twenty minutes of waiting. They’re much more serious. “She did suffer trauma to the head while in the Arena,” the man says.

“But you don’t think that’s what’s causing her issues,” Proteus says.

Anthea nods. Gone is the quivering woman in the hall, replaced with someone cold and angry. She’s going out of her way to not look at me. “The tasks we had her do when she first woke up didn’t indicate any neurological or physiological issues. We did scans, too, after her tantrum at the recap, and they didn’t show anything out of the ordinary.”

“Tantrum?” I repeat.

“Then what’s wrong?” Proteus asks over me.

“We believe it’s mental illness,” the male doctor says.

None of us know what that means. We don’t have mental illness in the districts, at least not the words to describe it, but the Capitol has words for everything. They have enough leisure time to think about things like that, to come up with ailments to explain their every mood.

Our faces must betray our inability to understand because they take a different route.

The female doctor is the one to speak. “We are going to have Annie Cresta declared mentally insane.”

“What?” I spit.

Proteus speaks over me again. “Isn’t that a bit premature? She hasn’t been out of the arena for long.”

“We believe a swift announcement is in her best interest at this time,” the male doctor says.

“Her closing interview with Caesar Flickerman has been canceled,” the female says, totally ignoring our reactions. She may have succumb to my charms and looks before, but now she seems immune. “President Snow will make the announcement during that time slot instead.”

I don’t know what to say.

“What would you like us to do in the meantime?” Proteus asks after a moment, voice totally neutral. The crease between his eyebrows is the only sign that he’s troubled by all of this. The only sign.

I could kill him.

“She’s currently under anesthesia, but I recommend you board the train back to your district soon,” the woman continues. “Before anyone gets wind of this.”

“Why?” Eefa asks, brows creased.

“What do you mean, Why?” I ask.

“Why are you declaring her insane? What exactly is wrong with her?”

“Why do you think?” I snap. The first thing I hear her say in a week and she asks something stupid like that?

“I’d like to hear the diagnosis,” Eefa says.

The woman doctor sighs and looks down at her clip board. She knows we won’t understand any of it. “She shows symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder, obsessive compulsive disorder, attention def –”

Proteus holds up his hand. “That’s enough.” He has no idea what any of it means, either. “Eefa?” he asks, turning to her. She nods, satisfied with what she’s heard. Maybe she was making sure they covered their bases; we generally accept that mad people are mad, but you need real proof to declare a victor mentally insane before the whole country.

“There is one piece of permanent physical damage I ought to mention,” the female doctor says. “Due to the stab wound in her abdomen, she won’t be able to conceive or carry children. There’s too much tissue damage.” No one really cares about that right now. What we care about – what I care about – is getting Annie out of here without adding to the damage that’s already been done. “I thought one of you ought to tell her once you’re back in your district and she’s had a chance to calm down.”

“I think you should get ready to leave,” the male doctor says. “She’ll be up in –” he checks his wristwatch and bobbles his head as he does the math in his head “– ninety minutes, give or take.”

“Yes,” Mags says distractedly. “Yes, of course.” She blinks several times.  “I’ll start preparing. And have Brae send for the train. Proteus, please get Annie’s stylist so we can get her ready to go.” The others go – Eefa practically sprints out – and I want to move, too, but my muscles won’t let me. Mags’s hand finds my shoulder. “She’s alive, Finnick. That’s what matters.”

I nod again because I can’t think of anything to say.

“Go. Clean up. Clear your head. I’ll be along in a few minutes. I just want to check in on her.”

When I get upstairs to our rooms, Greer rushes towards me and starts making a lot of gestures. I’m not sure what she’s asking until she runs her hand down her hair in a smooth, wavy motion. Like the way Annie’s hair falls.

“Annie?” I guess.

She nods.

I’m too tired to explain it all. “She’ll be all right.”

I start undressing before I make it all the way into my room, discarding my clothes as I go. Somes picks them up as he follows behind me.

I blast the water in the shower to its highest setting and make the temperature as cold as I can bear. I only take hot showers in the Capitol when I’ve just seen a patron. Different temperatures for different problems. It helps me compartmentalize. Keep my head straight.

I’m good at that. Compartmentalizing, keeping my mind focused on the task at hand. I always have been. A lot of victors simply can’t do that – it’s why they turn to drink or drugs. But I haven’t. And I won’t.

I don’t notice the slip of paper folded on my pillow until I start dressing. The paper is off-white and thick – the sort of expensive, heavy stuff they only use in the Capitol. I open it up, and the custom watermark at the top of the page informs me that this is from C.X.S.

President Snow has left me a handwritten note of congratulations.

The others have all gotten them, too.

Mags says he always does for the victors of the winning district. Etiquette, she says, is the most important thing to Coriolanus. Not for the first time, I wonder how well Mags knew him when they were young.

Broadsea whips a lighter out of his pocket and sets the note on fire before dropping it in an empty metal bin. He hasn’t even opened it. Eefa drops her own note into the bin; Mags gives Broadsea her letter to burn, too. I don’t know if she’s read it. Proteus tucks his away in his jacket pocket and tells me to do the same if I want to be smart. I don’t have a reason to save it; I’ve already memorized every word. But I decide to keep it anyway. In case I ever need a reminder.

Mr. Odair,

Congratulations on your very first victor. This is an exciting time for your fellow victors and all of District 4. It is an especially important time for you, as this is your first time mentoring a victor.

Of course he adds a little statement of regret at the end of my note containing a veiled threat:

I hope that you will not be bogged down by the weight of responsibility. It would be unfair for anyone to expect a young man such as  you to take on the burden of Miss Cresta’s care.

It seems innocuous enough, but it’s another little reminder to stand back and just let things unfold. Men like Finnick Odair don’t get involved with that sort of thing, and girls like Annie Cresta never really go home.

My best regards to you and your new victor,

President Coriolanus X. Snow

#finnick odair #finnick x annie #finnick imagine #Annie Cresta #odesta #The Hunger Games #Hunger Games #catching fire #mockingjay #ballad of Songbirds and Snakes #bosas #henry cavill #fancast #fluff #story #fic #Prequel #ao3 #ao3fic #angst #District 12 #District 13 #district 4 #the capitol #katniss everdeen #Peeta Mellark #haymitch abernathy #Coriolanus Snow #Panem #Suzanne Collins

[janicho88]

In This Together Part 2

Pairing- Dean x Wife Reader

Word count-6317

Summary-Picks up right where part 1 left off.  What’s the readers outcome from surgery, time in the hospital and what happens over the next few months. AU

Warnings- Sick reader, hospital, Little bit of language, A little angst, and fluff, mentions of sex and implied smut, brief talk of loss of pet.

Possible triggers talk of surgeries some are a little descriptive, talk of possible infertility, female problems. 

Part 1

The members of your surgical team that came to wheel you off to surgery could tell you were nervous. They were talking and joking all the way to the operating room.  Once they got you to the room you were moved from the bed to the table, a blood pressure cuff put on and both of your arms stretched out and secured down.  This was so you didn’t move them during surgery. 

The head anesthesiologist was talking through and quizzing one of the younger members on your team.  One of the nurses told you he was still learning. Someone was holding an oxygen mask above your face, they blood pressure cuff started running, and they were talking about putting something in you IV next.  The second medication they put in your IV burned while going in and then your whole hand, you were told it was because of your abused veins.  You guessed that was from so many surgeries and previous IVs. Things got to be a little much for you and you were unable to stop the tears, one nurse saw this and grabbed your hand so you could squeeze it to try and take your mind off the pain in your other hand and your nerves with the impending surgery.  The oxygen that was hovering over your face was now pressed down, you were told to take deep breathes to get the oxygen into your lungs.

Darkness and noise were the two things you registered.  The noises changed into people’s voices and you couldn’t figure out what was going on in this dream.  You just wanted everyone to let you sleep.  The voices kept talking and wouldn’t leave you alone, this went on for a few minutes until you finally remembered you had had surgery. By now you were slowly starting to realize you were in recovery, there was a pain in your lower abdomen, and you were freezing.  It was a  challenge for you to open your eyes, let alone keep them open for more than a few seconds. Someone was trying to tell you their name and that it was okay.  They asked you your pain level, but you were unable to get any words out yet, so you held up 7 fingers. She gave you some medicine to try and bring that down. When you finally could get your mouth to function you kept repeating ‘cold.’ They got you another blanket and you continued to struggle to open your eyes.  You were slowly becoming a little more aware, you wanted Dean, and some ice chips for your extremely dry throat.  ‘Ice’ and ‘Dean’ became your next repeated phrases.   The recovery nurse got a cup of ice chips for you, and by now you were able to sit up a little and keep your eyes open, but they still wouldn’t bring Dean back.

Suddenly, you had tears running down your face you couldn’t stop.  For some reason you always tended to cry when you were waking up from anesthesia.  The nurse kept telling you everything was fine, you wanted to know how fine. Fine as in they were able to leave the uterus, or fine like everything had to come out, but you were doing fine?  You were with it enough to decide to wait and ask Dean because you wanted him with you when you heard. You had to wait a bit longer for them to bring Dean back.  As he finally walked past the curtain, he could see the tears on your face.  He walked to your side took the ice cup from your hand and gave you the best hug he could with all your wires still attached. The nurse stepped away for a minute and left you two alone.

“Hey Sweetheart, how are you doing, why all the tears?”

“Always do… don’t know” you weren’t able to talk in complete sentences yet.

“I know, you can’t help the tears when you wake up.  How are you doing?  You seem a little more out of it than usual.”  This was the fifth surgery you had had that Dean was around for, and you never took this long to get your wits back in recovery.

“Hurts,… what he take?”

Dean started to feed you ice chips as he explained what the doctor did.  “When they opened you up, they found a second fibroid.  The doctor got them both out, he was able to leave the uterus.  He checked the ovary you still have and said that looked good, everything went really well, Sweetheart.”

“Awesome” you said as you let out the breath you had been holding and tried to give Dean another hug. This news calming you down some.

Your nurse came back and asked if the pain had decreased, it hadn’t so they gave you something else.  You told Dean the pain was worse with this than everything they did to your foot. Someone else came and helped disconnect your IV and the other monitors you were attached to.  You asked Dean what time it was to give you an idea of how long surgery was.

“It’s just after 2.”

“Long surgery?” When you mentally timed everything beforehand you figured you would be heading to a room by 2.

“No, surgery went quicker than anticipated, it was only an hour and twenty minutes.  You have been in recovery for over an hour and a half.  You wouldn’t wake up.”

“That why I’m having so much trouble now?”

“Probably, you also didn’t sleep last night, and they must have given you something good to knock you out.”

Dean stood by your side holding your hand and feeding you ice chips until a nurse came to tell him he had to leave.  The thought of Dean leaving and not seeing him, or any other family for three days had drugged you starting to cry again.  He gave you a hug and told you to call him when you went to you room, everything was going to be fine.

A short time later they put a mask on you and took you to your room, which was on the maternity floor. This would be your second time staying on this floor after a surgery. Hopefully, the next time here you and Dean would be welcoming a baby. Your new nurses got you situated in your room and an IV hooked back up.  One went to get you and ice pack and folded up blanket to hold against your stomach. While taking to your nurse Laurie, you realized you had a fat lip and a cut on the inside from where they incubated you.  They said your mask only had to be worn when you went to walk in the halls or if someone was coming in your room.  That was a relief, you weren’t looking forward to wearing it the whole time. When they left you took the bag you had taken out of your duffel which had your phone, tablet, chargers and magazine keep you occupied over the next few days along with a small travel case with Chapstick, lotion, an eyeglass cleaner, cough drops and a few other things you had learned you would need in the hospital and hung it over one of the bed rails within reach.  You knew you weren’t going to be allowed out of bed that day, so you had wanted to make sure anything you would need was easy to get to.  With that all set, you called Dean like he asked you to.  

“Hi Honey, in your room?”

“Yes, all set up. Scooby and I have a great view of the parking garage and traffic light.”

“I can’t believe you took a stuff animal with you, such a goof.”

“Hey now! No one else can be here with me, and Scooby has been with me for every hospital stay.” Scooby was a stuffed Chocolate Lab your dad had gotten you in high school when your real Lab named Scooby died unexpectedly.  Dean knew how upset you had been to lose him but would occasionally tease you about the stuffed animal.

“Fair point, I’m glad you have company and are all settled.  Get some rest, I’ll talk to you later. Love you Y/N.”

“Thank you for everything.  Love you Dean.”

You hung up from Dean and turned on T.V. for a little background noise.  It didn’t take long for your machines to start beeping.  They had compression cuffs on your legs to prevent blood clots, but because of your recent surgery in your right leg today’s surgery team didn’t want it on that leg.  The machine didn’t like that, so it kept shutting itself off and beeping. The IV on your hand was in a slightly odd position and if your hand moved a certain way it shut off and started beeping.  Things were off to a great start!

Your nurse Leslie showed you how to restart the IV when it went off on you.  Both her and Laurie tried various ways to get the compression machine to keep working on just one leg, but it kept shutting off so they just took it off and you would need to move your feet around while in bed.   Someone from respiratory came up and gave you an incentive spirometer, which is a plastic thing you hold and take deep breathes with trying to get the piece inside to whatever number they tell you. It is good to help clear your lungs, but it also had you coughing more. Laurie came in and had you sitting up and dangling your feet over the side, you had started to notice the pain was lower than you thought it would be.  For some reason you had thought the doctor said the incision would be just below your belly button.  You mentioned being surprised at where it hurt to Laurie, and she told you the incision was down over your pelvic area.  If you had really thought about it, you would have known it before. This was when you realized you had a tube connected to your incision that went to little pump. It was a Negative Pressure Wound Therapy System, it was supposed to draw fluid away from the surgery area and promote healing, you just kept calling it a pump or drain.                                    

At one point you made the mistake of lifting both arms above your head to pull your hair into a ponytail. Oh, that hurt, you were going to need to move nice and slow next time you did that.  Everything you moved pulled your stomach, and coughing was awful.  The night nurses had you sitting on the side of the bed again and this time also standing in place, the more you move the easier it’s supposed to get.  Usually the first night after surgery they need your vitals every hour, but you only saw your nurses twice that night, it wasn’t a great night.  You got a little bit of sleep that night waking up at least once an hour till you gave up at five.  Sleeping in hospitals had never been easy for you.  

It was six am when the doctor came in.  He told you surgery, a myomectomy, went well.  There had been a new fibroid, both were taken out and sent for a biopsy. You needed to see him the following week to your pump removed instead of the two-week checkup they had you scheduled for.  He might send you home the next day, but he wouldn’t know till tomorrow.

You had two new day nurses on Tuesday, Courtney and Kim, you remembered Kim from your surgery two years ago when you had been one of her patients.  Both were super sweet and in and out of your room all day. They encouraged you to get up and move around your room, leaving your crutches close to the bed so you could reach them.  Even though you didn’t need them all the time there were times you still did.  You had brought them to help balance you since you would be a little groggy with the pain meds and didn’t need to risk a fall when you were walking.  Late afternoon you started to develop a fever they needed to watch.  Courtney had you walking the halls with her to get you moving more. You talked to Dean, your parents, Jess and Donna throughout the day. Your mom and Dean were both struggling not being able to come up and see or help you.  You looked through your magazine and tried to read fanfiction on your tablet, but you kept beginning to doze off then jerk yourself awake never fulling reaching sleep.  Your nurse Laurie, from the day before was working a different hall today but came in to see how you were doing and tell you goodbye before she left.

Dean called once more before he went to sleep.  “Hey Baby. How is it going tonight?  Same nurses?”

“Hi Honey. Nope, different nurses tonight, they are very nice.  Only been a few hours and I have already seen them more than I saw last nights. Fever is down, back into normal range. Been getting up and moving walked the hall again.  Pretty sore, but I know I will be for awhile.”

“I wish I could be up there with you.  I am so glad tonight is going better for you.  I was half tempted to call up there and complain this morning when you told me what was going on last night.”

“Thanks, I wish you were up here too.  I miss you! It helps that tonight is going better though.  I appreciate that you were going to call, but please don’t.  I know you worry, but that wouldn’t have done anything they were already gone.”

“Will see.  I miss you too, hope you come home tomorrow.  Bed is lonely without you.”

“I know you are hoping for that.  I want to be home with you, but in away being in the hospital is a little easier on me. Like earlier when they were worried about the fever, you know I usually move in my sleep and this bed doesn’t give me the room to.  Although Nurse Dean does an amazing job when he’s on duty.

“Haha, thanks, well nurse Dean is ready to report for duty.  I do my best for my favorite patient.

“Yes, you do! Hey, the nurse is coming in for vitals and with pain meds.  I’ll talk to you tomorrow. Goodnight Baby, I love you.”

“I love you too, I’ll call you on my way to work.   Sleep well Sweetheart”

Lindsey, one of your night nurses took your vitals, gave you your pills and even brought a fresh glass of water. Shortly after she left you decided to try and get some sleep.  It was harder to come by tonight and you gave up by 4:30.  Lindsie your second nurse of the night, yes they had the same name just different spellings, did you vitals again before she left and checked if you needed anything else.

It was just before six before your doctor came in for his rounds.  He said eveything still looked good and he was letting you go this afternoon. Dean called on his drive into work to see how you were doing.

“Morning Sweetheart, how did last night go?”

“It was alright, not much sleep, yours?”

“Lonely, but fine.”

“Sorry, you were lonely, but maybe I can help with that tonight.  I’m free to go this afternoon as soon as I have a ride”

“Awesome! I’ll pick you up as soon as I can get out of the shop, do you want me to pick anything up dinner, pie?”

“No, I’m not eating much it hurts to swallow still, and there is a premade pie in the freezer all ready, you just have to bake it.”

“Seriously, you’re the best Baby!  I just pulled into the shop I’ll talk to you later.”

“Sounds good, have a great day at work. Love you, Dean.”

“Love you too, Y/N. Call you when I’m getting out.”

Courtney was back on duty as your day nurse, she caught up to you while you had gone to walk the halls, finishing the walk with you.  When you went back to your room she informed you, you could shower and get dressed in your own clothes, no more hospital gown! Before she left she showed you how to disconnect the pump from the tubing and tape the tube to your side facing down so water didn’t run in it.  When you got out you had to reconnect it and restart the pump.  You walked the hall a few more times but didn’t do much else beside listen to the television.  Staying awake was proving difficult today.  When it was close to four you grabbed your crutches and started to gather all your things and repack your bag so you would be ready when Dean called.

Dean called you just after four to tell you he finished early and was on his way to “break you out.”  Being tired of sitting you walked out to the nurses station to let Courtney know he was on his way, she had just finished printing your release papers and you both headed back to your room to go over them. You were unable to lift anything more than a gallon of milk for the next six week, the only exercise you could do was walking, going up and down stairs was limited, you had to be careful of the pump and had an appointment the following Tuesday to have it taken out. You took one last look around and made sure you had all your things in your bag, and she went to grab a wheelchair and you were on your way out.  

Another nurse joined your trip down inquiring about the crutches, you told you had had surgery on your foot and ankle a few months prior, you weren’t completely off them yet. She asked what you had done, and like your other nurses had when you explained the surgery, gave you a wide eyed ‘wow’.  Courtney laughed and told her she thought that was everyone’s response.

 Dean had brought your Equinox since it would be easier for you than sitting down in Baby. He took your things from the nurses, and you thanked them for all their help.  Dean helped you in the car after giving you a hug and you were off.

It was a fairly quiet ride home, your throat was still bothering you, you were just happy to be out. When you arrived home, Dean grabbed your bag and helped you in.  It was the first time you had gone up any stairs and was slightly painful.  Once inside you headed to your room to change and then back to the living room to lay on the couch.  Dean helped you get comfortable before changing and joining you. You laid on the couch with your head on Dean’s lap and his feet on the ottoman, he got up later to make a lite dinner and cook his pie, for the most part you two were enjoying having each other close.

Laying in bed that night you had to sleep on your back and Dean was laying as close as he could when a noise got his attention.

“Do you hear something buzzing?  What is that?”

“Me, well the pump buzzes when it’s having trouble and trying to get butter suction. It doesn’t run all the time and you must not have heard it with the T.V. on early.  It also has a light that flashes occasionally, that surprised me the first night in the hospital when I could see a light from under the gown.  I’ve gotten used to it; do you want me to sleep in the other room?  That way I don’t keep you up?”

“Not a chance Sweetheart, bed’s been to empty without you.  No way am I letting you leave.”

“Okay if your sure, goodnight Babe.  Love you.”

“Love you too, Sweetheart.”

You woke up a few times during the night but didn’t get out of bed for two reasons.  One you didn’t want to move, and two, you didn’t want to wake Dean.  As much as you were up you still slept better than the hospital, you had missed Dean and your bed.

Dean had offered to stay home with you Thursday, but you told him you would be fine and sent him off to work. You knew they were still trying to get everything ready for Monday when the store could allow people back in and didn’t want to cause extra work for the others. Jess was still working from home and called and asked if you were up for company. She and Jake came over around noon with a pizza. Little guy was getting so big, he was one month away from his first birthday.  You were unable to pick him up, so Jess set him down next to you on the couch, while she got plates and drinks for you two.  Dean had bought a baby activity walker he saw online, he said it was for Jake when he was over, but you knew he was hoping one day you would have a child to use it.  It was a racecar and so very Dean. Jess got it out of the guest room after you were done eating and put Jake in it to play.  He loved playing with the steering wheel and horn.

While watching him play you and Jess turned on turned on T.V., settling on reruns of Bridezilla. Both of you cringing at the crazy antics and behaviors of the brides and others on the show.  This led you both to talking about your own weddings.  Jess and Sam had been college sweethearts, meeting at Stanford.  Jess was full of energy, but pretty levelheaded, there wasn’t much drama with their wedding planning.  

Dean and you had been high school sweethearts dating since sophomore year, and friends since grade school, you married after college.  You had secretly been planning your wedding since your senior year of high school, but you would never tell Dean that.  The biggest disagreement planning your wedding being what you were leaving the church in.  You wanted to leave with your Bridal party in a limo, or bus, while Dean wanted Baby. When Sam said something to Dean about painting ‘Just Married’ on the back window and tying cans behind her, Dean came up with a compromise pretty quick.  You would rent a party bus to go to the reception with your bridal party and leave the reception in Baby, and no one would touch his precious car.  

Jess headed home with Jake after nap and you read until Dean came home, the two of you spending another quiet evening in.      

When Dean left for work Friday, you were back on the couch.  You spent much of the morning fighting to keep your eyes open.  When Dean came home to check on you during his lunch break, he found you had crawled back in bed.  Jess had told him the day before you kept almost dozing off while she had been over.  You woke up before he went back to work, but you still weren’t fully awake. While sleeping you had missed taking some of your medications, and you were starting to wake up more.  You had looked over you pill bottles and realized that while you had taken these meds before you had never had them prescribed at this high a dose.  You decided to take some generic medication during the day and the prescriptions for before bed so you could sleep.  If the over the counter Tylenol could have handled you pain it may have been a good idea, but it wasn’t strong enough and you were miserable by the time you took your pills before bed.  You figured you would just spread out the time you took them slightly.

 It was a nice early summer weekend, you and Dean enjoyed at home, spending some time both inside and out on your deck.  Both of your parents stopped over to see how you were doing and if you needed anything. Although a big downside to summer surgery, you were unable to enjoy your parents pool for the next 6 weeks.  

Tuesday Dean left work early to take you to your appointment, you weren’t allowed to drive for another week.  The doctor told you everything looked good, he took out your pump. Not going to lie, you were so glad to see it go between the buzzing and the tubing that would get tangled up.  The stitches were inside, and they would dissolve so you didn’t have to come back to have those taken out.  Since it was summer and so hot out, he wanted you to keep guaze on the incision to keep any sweat from seeping in and causing an infection.  The biopsy of the fibroids came back and they were both cancer free!  For now, he was leaving you on the birth control. You still had your lifting, and stair restrictions, also no sex for 5 weeks.  You saw Dean’s face over the doctor’s shoulder, it was utter disbelief.  As soon as the two of you got in the car Dean voiced his displeasure.

“Five weeks, isn’t that a little excessive?  He said a horizontal incision wouldn’t be as bad as a vertical.  Your surgery earlier this year we only had to wait a few weeks.”

“One, my last surgery was on my foot and ankle, completely different areas.  Yes, the vertical incision has a higher chance of bursting open, but it’s still fairly big cut on my stomach that needs to heal. Oh! and in case you forgot, they also cut my uterus!”

“I know that I”

“Dean, I can’t cough, laugh or blow my noise without pain right now.  Sex, with your not so little Dean, isn’t going to go well.  I’m so sorry my recovery is inconveniencing you.”

“Sweetheart, no that’s”

“Please, just drop it. I don’t want to talk right now.”  The rest of your car ride home was silent.

When you got home you went to your room and left Dean on his own.  He found you laying on your bed with tears on your face when he went to check on you. 

Gif by homeofthenutty

“I’m sorry, I hadn’t really thought about not having sex, and then the doctor said that I was a little surprised.  I had meant to tease, but it didn’t come out that way.  All I had really thought about regarding the surgery was the surgery itself and what could happen.  I wasn’t trying to force you to do anything you aren’t ready for, or that’s going to hurt you.  You could never be an inconvenience.  I was surprised and I didn’t think about what came out of my mouth. I’m sorry I was an ass.”        

“I feel like I’ve been a burden on you, and you have to keep sacrificing for me.  Today was just one more thing you found out you had to give up for me because of these surgeries.  I feel like I have been asking so much of you with all my problems. There is a good chance the fibroids will come back.  We know it might be harder for me to conceive because of the other surgery.   I knew I was going to start crying and I didn’t want to, which is why I didn’t want to keep talking in the car.”

Dean laid down next to you pulling you back in his arms as best he could. “You have never been and will never be a burden to me.  We are in this together.  I want you to understand that right now.  None of the things that have happened to you were in your control.  You were born with high arches, not your fault.  Those foot surgeries weren’t for the fun of it.  You didn’t ask for the cyst to turn into a mass on your ovary, or those fibroids to grow.  There was nothing you could do to prevent any of this.  I’m not worried about us not being able to have sex right now. Hey, you made me wait two years after we started dating.  I can wait a few weeks to have some fun in the sheets.  Right now, I just want my girl healthy.  Until then I am happy to hold you just like this.   As for a baby, one thing at a time, we can always look into adoption.  As long as I have you, I’m happy.”

“These last few months I haven’t been able to do a lot on my own and you have had to take on more work around the house.  I couldn’t drive and you had to drive me ev”

“Stop right there. I like driving, that’s no problem. Whatever you need I’m here for. Just like I know you are there for me. For better or worse, we are in this together.  Remember in college I broke my wrist in that Championship game for football senior year? You were typing both of our assignments for a month because it was in a sling and cast and I couldn’t.  They wouldn’t let me drive for a few weeks either.  You drove, ran the errands, kept the apartment clean.  We support each other always.”

“That was one month this is almost five.”

“Time doesn’t matter.  In this together, always.  Okay?   Honey, I never want you to feel like you can’t cry in front of me, that was never a problem before.”

“I know, it wasn’t that, it was more it was going to hurt, and I didn’t want to.”

Dean tried to hide a chuckle, “That’s understandable right now too.”  

“I’m also fairly certain my period is starting so..”

“So, that always makes you a little crazier,” Dean leaned over and kissed your forehead. “I love you, I’m sorry I’m an insensitive ass.”

“I love you too, I’m sorry I’m crazy and blow things out of proportion.” You turned your head toward Dean for a kiss.

Sure enough you were absolutely miserable the next day.  When the pump was removed so were the coverings on your incision, it had gauze over it, but it still kept rubbing uncomfortably.  The therapy from the pump had also been easing the pain some when it was pulling everything together.  Throw cramps on top of the pain you still had from surgery and as of today only taking over the counter pain meds instead of prescription, it was a rough day.    

That weekend Dean walked into your room where you were folding laundry.

“Hey, what would you like to do Thursday.”

“I don’t know, what’s Thursday?”

“Um… your birthday?”

“Oh, I guess I forgot we were this far in June already.  I really don’t care. We can have dinner here and pick up something, that work for you?”

“Your day, whatever you want, Sweetheart.”

Thursday came around and Dean woke you with a kiss before he left for work.  You enjoyed a lazy morning, Donna and Jess came over around lunch time.  They brought lunch and you three headed out to lounge in the sun. Jess headed out a few hours later to pick up Jake from Mary, and get ready to come back with Sam. Donna left shortly after needing to go pick up Jody’s daughter Alex.  Dean came home from work early bringing you flowers and having picked up a cake.  You like to bake, but store-bought cakes were still your favorite.  Both of your parents, Sam with his family, and your brother came for dinner.  Dean ordered pizza and bread, which your parents picked up and he bought things to make a salad.  This way there wasn’t much clean up which is what you wanted.  You all spent the evening enjoying each other’s company talking and laughing.  When the house cleared out, Dean and you watched a movie before heading to bed.

The following week was your first time going to work since you had your foot surgery in February. To be honest you were a little nervous about being back, even though you grew up in this business.  It was going to be your first time running this location. Both of your doctors had you limited on what you could do.  Three days being the most you could be in there and not back to back the hours you were allowed to be there in a day only between 4-5.  You still couldn’t lift more than a gallon of milk for another month. With everything going on with Covid, this was the third week restaurants could be open for dine-in, and new regulations were in place.   Things were going to be different for a while, and who knew what the new normal would be.

You drove yourself to your next doctors’ appointment four weeks after your last one.  He was pleased with how it was healing.  You doctor knew kids were something you and Dean wanted.  He was keeping you on birth control till October to give the uterus time to heal. After a myomectomy, most doctors would say to wait 3-6 months before trying to conceive, this would put you four months out.  Your restrictions other than how much you could lift were rescinded.  The weight limit you could carry was now at twenty pounds for a few more weeks before you didn’t have one at all.  He would see you back end of September.

Summer went fast for both of you.  The two of you had spent time at your parent’s pool, gone to the lake with Sam, Jess, and Jake, Dean’s parents often coming. It was mid-July before you could actually get in and enjoy the water.  The two of you had a few weekend bonfires at your house with friends and family coming to hang out.  Fourth of July weekend Cas brought some fireworks, oh were you were thankful your neighbors’ houses weren’t too close.  He went to throw what he thought was just paper from the box in the fire pit. Cas had picked up an unopen box of firecrackers from the case and threw it in the fire with the garbage, that had everyone running back from the pit. Thankfully, no damage done, but you were sure Dean and Benny weren’t going to let him forget it.  

Gif by bringmesomepie56

Jess, Donna, her sister Jody and you, had spent a girls’ day at an outlet mall an hour away, trying to take advantage of the summer sales. Jake had his first birthday.  Dean had tried to get Jess to do a clown theme party, but she wouldn’t do that to Sam. Instead going with a jungle theme.  The boy didn’t just grab for his mini cake Jess got him; he smashed his whole face in it!  Dean made you promise when you had a kid that he could hire a clown at least once, and not tell Sam it was coming, brothers.

September was here before you knew it.  You were back to working 5 or 6 days a week, Dean doing the same.  Both of you were home by 7 most evenings and spent most of them together either just the two of you or with your friends. You two tried to match up at least one day off a week to spend just the two of you.  

October was growing closer and you and Dean needed to talk. You could either continue on the birth control longer or go off next month and see what happened.  You would run a chance of a fibroid coming back either way.  Nothing said one would come back quick or get big enough to cause you problems again though. You were praying it would be awhile, if ever before that happened.  

It was one of the last Saturdays in September, you and Dean were enjoying a bonfire just the two of you in your back yard.  Both sitting on the swing, you curled into his side.

“I’ve got that appointment this week,” you reminded Dean

“We haven’t talked about it in a while, what are your thoughts?  Are you leaning a certain way?”

“I know what I’m thinking, but honestly I’d like to hear what’s on your mind first.”

Dean was quiet for a minute before answering “Honestly, I always thought we would have a couple of kids, part of me thought we would have already had at least one by now.  If your ready now, I say let’s try, Y/N.”

“I always thought we would have had one or two by now, too.  If you were ready, I was leaning toward telling him I want to go off birth control.  Not so much trying though, as seeing what happens.  We tried before, and when the tests were negative or my period started, both of us were frustrated.  I want kids with you, but know I have to be realistic, and as much as I don’t want to think about, it may not happen.”  

Dean stood up and was walking around the fire pit, instead of working the flames to keep the fire going, he let it continue to fade. He walked back to stand in front of you before speaking again.  “Valid points Mrs. Winchester.  How about we will see what happens but not, not try either, just more relaxed than last time.  No tracking ovulation,   No matter the outcome, we are in it together.”  Dean grabbed your hand and pulled you out of the swing, then suddenly picked you up and tossed you over his shoulder heading for the house.  “On that note, I think we should practice not trying, Sweetheart.”

 Part 3

#supernatural #dean x reader #dean winchester

[backtobackbakubabe]

I’m Gonna Make This Place Your Home (Part 9)

Bakugo X Reader

Runaway reader finds a home with Bakugo. But will trouble follow?

Words: 4550

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“What do you mean she lied to you?” Ora gave Bakugo a baffled look.

Bakugo gripped his head in an attempt to keep calm, “I mean she fucking lied to me... You yourself said Puppeteer would never let her give up their location. She was acting weird, she said she loved me... but it sounded more like she was saying goodbye...” He picked up the bedside lamp and threw it at the wall before he threw his head in his hands and growled.

Moments later Kirishima was kicking the door in and rushing in. He had expected to see some kind of fight going on but instead all he saw was his best friend currently losing his sanity.

Kirishima knelt next to the bed and placed his hand on Bakugos shoulder, “We will get her back. I promise.

Bakugo’s hand reached up and found Kirishima’s. “I saw her... I saw her and I asked her where she was... but I don’t know if I believe her. It looks like we’re going to need to split up after all.

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Puppeteer waisted no time snapping his fingers and having his goons drag you from your bed. “I thought we could trust each other Y/n. You have no idea how much it saddens me to do this... but naughty girls must be punished.”

You struggled against their hold, doing your best to dig your heels in. “What... what are you going to do to me?”

Puppeteer flashed a cruel smirk at you, “Well it seems you swallowed something you shouldn't have and well, we really need to retrieve it as soon as possible. Dont worry we have some of the best doctors here.”

Your eyes widened as you began to panic. “No! NO! Please! I told him it was the other tracker! He thinks this one was randomly tossed from the helicopter!”

Puppeteer chuckled, “Oh but I think we both know he’s a lot smarter than that isn't he? Hmm yes I think no matter what they will be dividing their forces to check both locations... but I think he will be coming to this one. I saw the look on his face in your little dream. He looked devastated, because he knew you had deceived him.”

You had to think quickly. Under no circumstances could you let them put you under anesthesia. Puppeteer’s threat of making you a vegetable still rang in your ears. If they put you to sleep there would be a chance you would never wake up again...

Bakugo in the short time you lived together had taught you some basic self defense and combat skills. But now as you wracked your brain you were finding it hard to remember any of it. Fuck. If he doesn’t kill me for lying to him then he’ll definitely beat my ass for this... Come on think! Your eyes darted around for anything useful as they dragged you down hall after hall. You probably should have paid closer attention to where you were going but you were in full panic mode and you need to calm your shit down.

You could see that up ahead there was a plank in the floor that was slightly higher than the rest. It might not be the best plan but it was the only one you had.

You knew Puppeteer’s quirk had a time limit but you couldn’t remember the last time he had touched you. He had just used your quirk only a little while ago so the chances were pretty high that he could still control your quirk. Maybe though, if you did it fast enough you could use it just long enough to get away.

You started to truly drag your feet and let yourself go limp right as your foot caught the lip of the raised plank. It jerked you from the goons grasp as you crashed to the floor.  You tried to use your quirk to take the goons sight away but you didn’t wait to see if it worked. You scrambled to your feet and sprinted in the opposite direction. This is where is would have been handy to have paid attention to where you were going.

“Hey what the fuck?!” You could hear scuffling behind you as turned a corner.

“Well what are you doing? Go after her you fucking idiots!” screamed Puppeteer. You assumed that you had succeeded in taking away their sight for however long it took to get away but you didn’t want to assume it was permanent. Bakugo had once told you something about assuming ... something about being an ass... You tried to be as quiet as possible as you slipped into empty room. All you needed to do was hide until Bakugo got here. If Puppeteer was right then he shouldn't be too long. Right?

******************************

“Ok so let me get this straight she told you she was with the tracker that was still moving and so that means you want to go to coordinates of the tracker that isn’t moving?” Kirishima rubbed the back of his neck while he tried to figure out the plan. “And you want the rest of us to track the other tracker... the one she said was her..? But you don’t think it is her. Do I have that right?”

Bakugo nodded as he clipped on the rest of his costume. “I’m going in alone. If I have to blow the whole fucking place up I will and I’m not bringing ya’ll down with me. Puppeteer can control anyones quirk that he touches. I’m not giving him any extra pieces to his stupid fucking game. I need to do this alone.” He took a deep sigh and ran a hand through his hair in frustration. “Last time I saw him he could have made me kill you if he had wanted to and I wouldn't have been able to stop it. That’s not happening. I’m taking you out of the equation.”

He walked over and did something Kirishima wasn’t expecting. Bakugo gripped him in a tight hug, “And if by chance my instincts are wrong and she is where she said she is...I don’t trust anyone other than you to bring her home.”

Kirishima closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “I got you man. I’ll do everything I can to get her back. But please... please dont do anything stupid. And the SECOND you confirm she’s there please let me know. I know you think you need to do this alone, but I would never be able to live with myself if something happened to you.”

Ora waited for their little bromance moment to end before she approached Bakugo and nudged him. “Hey... you realize I’m going with you right? Like there’s no chance in hell you’re going alone. I haven't seen my sister in almost twenty years. Puppeteer has ruined my entire life and hers. I’m going to make that fucker pay.”

Bakugo narrowed his eyes at her. Recognizing the same stubborn gleam in her eyes that he had seen in yours time and time again, he immediately knew he wasn’t going to win this argument. “Dont make me regret this.”

Ora straightened her posture to square him off, “Dont make me regret letting you try it your way first. We either kill Puppeteer today, or we do it my way and we go back in time and kill him before any of this shit even happens.”

Bakugo nodded, “Lets hope it doesn't come to that. Its not that I dont trust you... but you said yourself you've never used your quirk like that before. It’s a huge risk. But that being said, its worth taking if it gets the job done.”

Ora stuck her hand out to shake his, “Let’s fucking do this.”

********************************

It had to have been over an hour now. There’s no way Puppeteer’s quirk was still working on you. You could potentially walk out of the house. You were terrified though. Your quirk only works on a few people at a time. If you ran into a large group of people you were screwed. You couldn’t sit here forever though. You had to do something. You were not some helpless damsel. You had broken out once and you could do it again.

Your biggest concern right now was sound. Sure you could make them see whatever. You would just edit yourself out of what they see, but you couldn’t do anything about the sound.

You slowly opened the door leading back out into the hallway. At first you didnt see anyone so you tip toed out. Your first step was followed by a quiet moan from the wood beneath your foot. You froze as your heart leapt into your thought. You had to remind yourself to stay calm and keep your breathing in check. The last thing you needed was to give yourself away by being a mouth breathing idiot.

When you were sure no one was coming for you, you slowly reached down and took your shoes off. You cradled them in your hands as you started your painfully slow walk down the hallway.

You had made so much progress but none at the same time. You made at least six turns by now but you still had no idea where you were or how to get the fuck out. This place really needed a fucking map. Your legs growing fatigued from the strain of taking slow and careful steps. You felt like you had been walking forever when you finally ran into another person. This had to be a good sign right? With limited people here Puppeteer would put them close to the exits right? To keep you in and more importantly keep Bakugo out.

There were only three of them. You could handle that. They were quietly muttering amongst themselves. Every so often one of their radios would sound off as one of their comrades would reach out for an update. “No sign here. She has to still be on the premises though. None of the doors or windows have been opened. We would have heard the alarm go off.” Shit... of course theres a fucking alarm system.

You got a bit closer before you threw one of your shoes as hard as you could down the hallway. It made a loud noise as it knocked what looked to be like a rather expensive painting off the wall.

“What the fuck was that?” Two of the goons left to investigate the noise while the third stayed put and radioed to the others. “We have some commotion on the second floor, West wing, Hallway C.”

How fucking big was this place?

Puppeteers voice came out loud through the speaker of the radio. “I’m coming and I’m going to do this myself you fucking idiots. How hard is it to catch one fucking girl. You’ve been at this for hours now!”

You could see the goon roll his eyes, obviously annoyed with his boss. You had no sympathy for him though. He chose this life. You could see a tazer hanging from his belt. Of course Puppeteer wouldn't want you killed so they would have to use non-lethals. If you could just quickly...

You lunged for the taser and ripped it from his belt. His eyes went wide for a second as a put two and two together. He didn’t try and fight it, he just yelled to his friends, “SHE’S HERE!”

You tazed him before he could do anything else and sprinted towards a set of stairs. The man had said you were on the second floor which meant you needed to go down to get out.

You practically jumped down the stairs, skipping as many as you could. Your intensity got the best of you though because as soon as you saw the door that lead to the first floor you flung it open. And guess what was on the other side? Fucking Puppeteer. His head whipped in the direction of the door that you just slammed open like a dumbass. His eyes narrowed and his lips turned up in an evil smirk, “Ah Y/N darling. Nice of you to finally join us.”

Your heart was pounding and you just kept reminding yourself that he couldnt see you. You started to sidestep away from the door and to what looked like a library. You could feel yourself sweating from the exertion of using your quirk for so long. It was rare that you ever used it for more than a few minutes at a time and even then it wasn’t very often.

You threw your other shoe in the opposite direction you wanted to go while simultaneously taking away his vision completely. You expected him to get angry, to yell. But what he did was much worse and stopped you in your tracks. He started laughing. “You think I dont have any tricks up my sleeve? I have a man here who's quirk is a super strong sense of smell. Once he’s leaned someone smell he can track them from miles away...” Your blood ran cold. “And Y/N... if his nose is correct, which it always is... your only a few feet away...NOW!”

Out of nowhere you were being grabbed from behind. How the hell had you not seen him sneaking up on you. “I got her! Now what?!”

Puppeteer snarled in frustration, “Bring her to me! I need to touch her so I can stop her from using her quirk!”

You struggled against him. This was not how this was going to end. You worked so hard to get this far. You were going to fucking leave if it was the last thing you did.

Your elbow caught the man in the jaw and his grip slacked just enough for you slip away temporarily. “Bitch hit me!”

Puppeteer screamed in anger, “Of course she did! I told you she wouldn’t come easily now go and get her! Sniff her out!”

You had only made it a few yards when you were being thrown to the floor. His sense of smell lead him right to you. You turned around and with all the strength you had left kicked him in the face, breaking his nose. Blood splattered everywhere and the man fell forward on top of you pinning you to the ground. “You fucking broke my nose!”

Puppeteer ran over to you, “Hold her down! Backup is coming!” He reached out and touched you and it was all over.

Tears sprung to your eyes as you made eye contact with the disgusting man who stopped you from using your quirk. “Please! I’ll behave! I’ll do anything! Please don't kill me.”

Puppeteer backed away as some of his goons filed into the room and surrounded you. “Oh sweet Y/n. I’m not going to kill you. I need you alive so I can utilize your quirk... But like I said before that doesn't mean I need you awake.”

Just like that you were being yanked over someones shoulder. You hit their back and screamed at the top of you lungs. You sent a silent prayer out that Bakugo would get here before its too late.

Your throat was raw by the time you were slammed onto a very hard and uncomfortable bed. With tears in your eyes you continued to beg the people who were currently strapping you down to let you go.

Puppeteer came and sat down in a chair next to you. “My dear you waist your breath. They only listen to me. I’m sorry it has to be this way but you left me no choice. We need to get that tracker out of your stomach and we cant have you helping that boyfriend of yours who is sure to rampage through here soon enough.” He reached out and took your hand. You would have pulled away but your hand was strapped down. “I’m not heartless though so I will at least give you the courtesy of letting you know what will become of you once we put under.”

He stood up and began to pace the room like the villain always did in the movies you had watched with Bakugo. “We will put you under anesthesia and cut you open and take out the tracker. Then once you’re all stitched up we will administer a drug that renders you basically brain dead. It’ll keep you in an endless sleep that you will never wake up from. But you’ll have just enough brain activity left so I can use your quirk when I need it. You will only be aware when I want you to be and you will only be able to use your quirk when I want you to. It’s not much of a life... but alas you brought this upon yourself.”

Your face was soaked with tears now and you couldnt stop the sobs that wracked your body. Your whole body was shaking now. This was it. There was no coming back from this. You’ll never get to say goodbye to Bakugo. Puppeteer signaled for the doctor to proceed. The doctor came closer to you with a needle and you heart began to race. You looked him in the eye and quieter than you had been all day, you whispered, “Please....”

The doctor schooled his features before bringing the needle to your arm, “You might feel a light pi-”

Then the most glorious noise you had ever heard sounded. The alarm was gong off. You were here so that must mean that someone broke in... “BAKUGO!!!!!!”

Puppeteer threw a glass against the wall before he ran his fingers through his hair. “Looks like we can skip the surgery and just go straight to the brain dead vegetable phase.”

The doctor sputtered a bit, “Sir I don’t have the necessary equipment for that here. I would have to move her upstairs.”

Puppeteer threw the door open, “Well why are you still here? Fucking move her! I’ll take care of her brat of a boyfriend....”

**********************************

He wasnt going to be subtle. He was charging in guns blazing and taking out every single person who got in his way. The more people he took out the less pawns at Puppeteers disposal. He blasted the front door right off of its hinges. Immediately an alarm started blaring. Because that wasnt annoying at all.

He ran down the first hallway and saw a man sitting on the floor with blood all over his shirt. “OI! Who the FUCK are you? And where is Y/N?!”

The man spat blood on to the floor next to him, “I can smell her on you.. that cunt you call your girlfriend broke my fucking nose!”

Bakugo took a calm step towards him before taking him by the hair and slamming his face into the ground, “And I will break your fucking face if you dont tell me where she is!”

The man pointed down the hallway. They took her down that hallway. After that I dont know this house is a fucking maze man!”

Bakugo slammed his head into the ground again, “You can fucking do better than that!”

His face now covered in blood, “Two lefts then a right and straight to the end of the hall...”

Bakugo smirked before standing up and giving the man a swift kick to the head, knocking him out. He looked to Ora next to him who didnt seem phased at all by his display of violence. “Let’s go.”

She nodded, “You're going to have to do most of the heavy lifting here. I dont want to waist any energy. If we have to go with Plan B it’s going to take everything I have.”

Bakugo stalked forward into the hallway, “Works for me. I’d prefer for you to stay out of the blast zone anyways.”

Bakugo can only describe what happened next as a rampage of epic proportions. No one stood a chance. He fired first and didnt even bother to ask questions after. He left a trail of burnt and broken people in his wake and he didnt feel even an ounce of remorse. He knew this wasnt healthy. The amount of anger that was pushing him right now. But he also knew he couldnt afford to let go of that anger, because once he did all that was left was fear. Fear of failure, fear of losing her, fear of the unknown.

He finally reached his destination after following the mans directions exactly, but the room was empty. There was a hospital bed with leather straps on it and a lot of blood smeared on the sheets. He just prayed it wasn't yours.

Ora yelled from the hallway, “Bakugo! Hurry he's here!”

He left the room and came face to face with Puppeteer. The disgusting man had the nerve to smile at him, “It seems you’ve put a real dent in my security. No matter there's more where that came from.” He looked over to Ora and his smile grew, “And would you look at that you’ve brought me a present. Who would have thought the secret to getting my crown jewels back was Ground Zero. So nice of you to personally deliver them both.”

Bakugo sent a huge explosion towards him but he dove into a nearby hallway just in time. “WHERE IS SHE?”

Puppeteer stayed hidden around the corner, “The longer you fight me the less time you’ll have to say goodbye to her. Soon enough there won’t be anything left to say goodbye to!”

Bakugo sent another blast his way, letting all his anger, his rage, his fear leak into it. But all he got in return was a chuckle, “Is that all you got boy?”

He was about to blast him again when he heard someone running up behind him. Without turning to look he asked Ora, “Who is it?”

With a little relief in her voice, “It’s Kirishima! They must have realized you were right about the other coordinates!”

Kirisima stepped up next to Bakugo, “Hey man go find her... we’ll take it from here.”

Bakugo looked between the corner Puppeteer was hiding behind and Ora. He wanted to personally make the man suffer, but he would leave that to Ora. She deserved that much. He settled on Ora, “Make him fucking pay...”

She nodded, “You already know I will. Now hurry!”

Bakugo took off, that guy was right.. this place really was a fucking maze. He was running around kicking every single door in. Calling out for you. He didnt care who heard him. He’d cut them down just like he did the rest of them.

He sprinted around a corner and there you were. You were simply standing there. Calmly waiting for him as he approached. His hands found purchase on either side of your face as he wiped the silent tears that now slid down your face. “You found me....”

He leaned his forehead against your, “Of course I did.. I told you I’d protect you.”

You smiled as you ran your fingers through his hair, “We need to go.” You took his hand and led him down the hallways to a set of stairs.

When you started to go up he pulled back, “Where are you going?”

More silent tears slid down your face, “I need to show you something before we go.”

Bakugo gave you a concerted look, “Y/n we really need to get you out of here! Puppeteer is still on the loose.”

You nodded, “I understand but this is really important.”

You led him up the stairs, down a few halls and to a room. You opened the door to a room and led him inside. The bed looked like a hospital bed but it was empty. There was a weird beeping noise but he couldnt find where it was coming from. “Y/N what is going on? What was so important that you needed to show me?”

You didnt answer him, but instead you reached up on your tip toes and gave him a passionate kiss. “I love you Bakugo. I love you so much. You taught me what it was like to truly live life, trust wholly, and love deeply and I am so thankful for that...”

“Y/N why are you talking like that? I love you too but you already know that... you’re making me nervous...”

You gave him a sad smile, “It’s getting harder to focus so I need to do this quickly. Bakugo.... Puppeteer did something to me... I’m not really alive anymore.”

Bakugo grew cold as his hands clutched you, “What the fuck do you mean you're not alive? You’re standing right in front of me. I can see you, I can feel you!”

You wiped a tear from your cheek, “My body is still alive, my heart is till pumping... but that’s all he needed to use my quirk... My brain... its shutting down as we speak. You're not really holding me... I’m just in your head...”

Bakugo fell to his knees as his heart began to pound in his eyes, “NO! IT’S NOT SUPPOSED TO END THIS WAY!”

You sat down next to him and pulled him to your chest and let him sob. “It’s going to be okay. You’re going to make it through this. I need you to do that for me do you understand? You can’t give up. You have to promise me.”

Bakugo picked his head up and saw that stubborn expression in your eyes that he had seen in Ora’s earlier that day. “You have an older sister... she's here. She came to help free you...”

You pushed your hand through his hair, “It would have been nice to meet her, but right now all I care about is you.” You kissed his forehead, “I’m losing my grip Bakugo... I know its a lot to ask but can you stay with me...”

It was his turn hold you while he kissed your head over and over again. He rocked you back and forth, “You can’t leave me. Please!”

You held back your tears as you cupped his cheek, “Remember when you were teaching me to ride the bike? And you said you would never let go. Not until I was ready... We’ll I’m telling you, you need to let go... it’s time.” You gave him one last kiss, “I love you.”

When Bakugo opened his eyes you weren't there anymore. He looked up and he saw you strapped to the bed, hooked up to a monitor. Your heart was still beating. You were still alive... but you were gone.

He was completely numb as he gently began undoing the straps and he took your hand in his. This was his fault.

He didnt think it could get any worse but then Ora stepped up next to him. He hadn't even heard her come in.

She had been there for quite some time and it didnt take her long to figure out what had happened. She put a hand on his shoulder, “He got away.... looks like its time for Plan B.... Do you think you’re ready?”

Bakugo took a deep breath and wiped his cheeks, “Let’s go kill the fucking son of a bitch...”

*****************************************************************************************************

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[warmau]

commission: medical school!au baekho other nuest x medical school!aus: jonghyun | minhyun | ren

specialty: is doing his residency in orthopedic surgery

absolutely did not expect to find himself in medical school BUT when life gives you lemons,,,,,,,,,,,, squash them with your muscules and become a surgeon - ya know?

he’s been a sleepyhead his whole life, but waking up and staying up for residency has really - 

well, quite frankly, if jonghyun isn’t there to smack him awake with a slipper than well 

he wouldn’t have made it this far LOL

when he was considering going into medicine, people were all expecting he meant something like becoming and EMT? not an actual doctor?

because the misconception is oh he’s all brawn and no brain

but baekho isn’t an idiot - his focus and concentration, especially when he’s stubborn about something, is hard to break

so in that way - he’s perfect for med school

because yeah it’s not a competition, but watching people not be able to handle the pressure just reminds him that hey

he’ll come out of this alive - he has to come out of this alive - if REN can do it then so can he

his mom will not stop embarrassing him by telling everyone her sons a SURGEON and he’s like mom not yet and she’s like a SURGEON a S U R G E O N 

broad shoulders didn’t fit in the lab coat he got when he first started so he was so stiff he couldn’t even hold a clipboard

he looked like a teddy bear stuffed into a toy jacket - it was so funny but no one dared to laugh

because on first glance omg he’s a big intimidating resident who will probably eat you alive for giggling at how ridiculous he looks

but ,,,,,,,,, quickly that images melts away

because baekho is a sweetheart. he’s big and loud but at the end of the day his heart is covered in icing and sprinkles

helps carry heavy tech equipment for the residents in radiology

helps patients reach the top shelf for their medicine in the hospital pharmacy

carries kids to and from their beds when their parents are struggling or even when they just ask him too

because honestly baekho doesn’t know the word “no”

minhyun is always like “how can you do surgery - it’s so messy,,,,” 

and baekho is like “i like being messy”

mihyun looking at the kimchi sauce stains on baekho’s lab coat, twitching: “i- i know.”

 likes that a big chunk of his medical knowledge has to do with things pertaining to sports and athletes because it’s helpful for himself

his residency schedule is so speradic but if there’s one thing he can’t bring himself to lose out on is working out

so maybe if you’re lucky 

(or you just pass by and see the hoard of students dangling out the hospital window)

you’ll peek and see baekho has changed out of his lab coat and button down and is now in his sweat pants - shirtless when it’s super hot - starting his five mile run down to the river

professors, annoyed: can you all focus on our simulated patient and NOT on mr. kang doing his morning exercise

the resident: uhuh..................what?

this shit happens on a daily basis:

ren: “oh ow i hit my knee! baekhoooooo im going to diiiiiie can you carry me to the lockers?”

baekho not batting an eyelash: crawl there if you have to

but also baekho three seconds later with ren’s fragile body drapped over his one large shoulder: fine let’s go

dark circles when he has to stay up past 24 hours make him look like an actual demon 

(but not gonna lie it’s kinda hot) 

you never in your life imagined you’d break a bone 

let alone you never thought in your life you would break a bone in such an embarrassing way

that when you sat in the emergency room, cradling your arm with gritted teeth - you dreaded the godforsaken question

“well, how did it happen?”

what made it all worse was the fact that you’d expected the usual kind of doctor

middle-aged, residing hairline, deadpan voice 

you did not expect,,,,,,,,,,,,a greek god to come bouncing your way with a sympathetic look on his face

“oh, what happened?”

baekho asks you - and you literally lose the ability to speak because woah wait since when was the medical profession hiring male models?

“t-tram-”

“tram? something happened on the train?”

his eyes are kind, comforting and soft but the rest of him is wide and built

your mouth goes dry and he’s so striking it nearly makes you forget the pain your in from ,,,,, you know 

your broken arm

with perfect timing - your little cousin skids around the corner, holding the soda he’d snatched from the vending machine

“they fell off the trampoline at my birthday party!”

he announces with a big grin that makes the embarrassment you knew was coming feel ten times worse

baekho’s eyes widen for a moment and you just know he’s holding back a laugh

but instead, he seems to swallow it down and carefully ask you to come with him

your knees are weak, half because of baekho the other half because the pain has just been getting worse

baekho notices and carefully, making sure not to touch your arm - supports you by the waist up and onto your feet

your cousin bounds in after you as baekho has you sit and apologizes for the momentary sting you’ll feel as he tries to move your hand from your chest

you wince, throwing your head back and baekho takes a couple of moments to assist whats happened

he asks you some questions about the feeling and about how exactly it is you ended up falling off a trampoline

your eyes pan over to your cousin, who doesn’t seem to have a care in the world for anything but his soda

“he and the other kids were doing tricks and the parents didn’t want anyone getting hurt so they sent me in to stop them”

you sigh

“and ,,,, like an idiot, i realized too late that i can’t keep up with a bunch of ten-year-olds and just as i jumped - i fell back and landed with my hand on the metal base of the death trap”

“it’s not a death trap - it’s a trampoline!”

your cousin sings and baekho gives him a smile as you groan for him to go out and go find his mom

he happily obliges, waving to baekho with no regard for you - who broke their arm trying to keep him safe

baekho turns his attention back to you and sighs

“well - it isn’t broken. it is fractured though so im going to need to get you some anesthesia before i can set it.”

you nod slowly - making the mistake of thinking you can place your hand down on your thigh 

and then nearly cursing when the pain shoots up your arm

your hand flies up to cover your mouth as you apologize - good going, clowning ourselves infront of the hot doctor

but baekho waves it off - “i’ve been in this situation and all i did is curse, you’re all good.”

once you get the anesthesia and baekho gives another apology for if it still hurts - he gets to work on setting your arm back

he does it so fast you don’t even manage a small yelp - the only thing you do imagine is a 

“holy shit! oh sorry again-”

he just laughs, “no no - i expect it. anyway, you’ll have to wear a cast for just a bit, but hey - it’s not as bad as everyone says it is.”

you shake your head

“all this over a trampoline”

he shrugs, “believe me people have come in here doing dumber things. plus you were just trying to be a good cousin right?”

you feel all warm with how considerate he’s being, but you bat it away as soon as the feeling comes up

let’s not get a crush on a doctor that’s just doing their job!

baekho comes back and gets the cast on - he’s so gentle and careful that it’s kind of shocking someone so ,,,,,,,, imposing can be so soft

once the cast is on - you make a joke about how now you can go back to the party and get all the kids to sign

baekho’s eyes sparkle for a moment “can i be the first?”

you shyly agree and watch him pluck a pen from his front pocket, he writes something and then gives you a prescription for some pain meds in case your arm starts acting up

you have trouble getting off the examination bed, so once again baekho helps you with support around your waist

you finally look down when he leaves the room at what he wrote on your cast

and nearly stumble over and fracture your OTHER arm when you see it’s his number and the words

‘maybe you’ll want to go on a date with me when this is all healed up?’

for a second you don’t believe it - no way, right?

but when he comes back to see you off he smiles and you look at the cast then at him

“really?”

you ask

“only if you want.”

“i- i mean yes”

he grins, leaning forward with a bit of a teasing voice

 “in your own words: holy shit, i didn’t think you’d actually say yes!”

you momentarily think he’s playing a joke, but then you realize no he’s just being cutesy

you scrunch up your nose and go back 

“aren’t med students not supposed to curse?”

“aren’t people not supposed to break their arms on trampolines?”

you guys already have the couple banter down LOL

dating med school student baekho: obviously you don’t just start dating after one date - but really,,,,,,you and baekho have way more in common than you think, first of all you almost broke your hand trying to save some kids which baekho thinks is badass because he actually almost busted his knee wide open trying to save some stray kittens so like really match made in heaven amiright?, your first date - baekho jokes and says trampoline park but it’s really just dinner at this cool place that has live music and karaoke, and much to your surprise baekho isn’t only a visual god and a med student - he can also sing like an angel?, “hey are you like actually real - no way one person is all these talents put together?” “you flatter me, but believe me - i am real, here touch my five o’clock shadow-” “baekho!”, baekho introducing you to his friends like : this is the cute person i told you i met at the ER! and jonghyun is like omg nice to meet you- REN: HOLY BALLS YOU REALLY BROKE YOUR SHIT ON A TRAMPOLINE? AT A KIDS BIRTHDAY PARTY?, baekho promises not to bring you around his crazy friends after that but it’s fine - you get ren back one day by letting it slide that baekho has shown him the photos from wayback in highschool and ren is like: h and you're like: you tell anyone about the trampoline and it’s over for you, baekho watching you be vaguely threatening: hot, you have your own schedule and baekho is always dying with his residency one so a lot of your relationship is through text, which baekho thinks means: send my significant other 58947382 photos of me at the gym - but like you don’t complain, teasingly goes ‘we can go on a date~ we can go watch a movie OR you can come watch me do pull ups’ but you’re like why would i say no to that and baekho is suddenly a little flustered, you came to visit him one day and drop off his favorite lunch you know because you ~luv~ him and you saw him running through the ER with bear ears on his head after a bunch of kids in hospital gowns and you’re like w? and the nurse is like since it’s halloween he comes down here and plays with the kids and you’re like kang baekho you are ,,,,,,,,, an ANGEL i WAS RIGHT, unlike with nuest if you as much as mumble that something aches or you’re tired - baekho is like i will carry you. get onto my shoulders, get in my arms, let me carry you all the way home i dont care that it’s an hour away my arms will never get tired and you’re like baby chill im ok i just sneezed and he’s like,,,,,,,,,the offer still stands, minhyun was right when he warned you about ‘grizzly bear baekho’ which is just you watching him shove obscene amounts of food in his mouth without regard for napkins and you’re like ,,,,,,,,, oh my god ,,,,,,but also like you can’t take this away from him - he just worked 36 hours straight, bought you a matching addidas sweatpants outfit for your first anniversary and you were like awww these will be cute pajamas and he’s like maybe you can come run with me and you’re like wow are you trying to kill me?, does this cute and kinda dumb but actually nah just cute thing where he pulls your legs around his waist and starts naming the bones in your body and you’ve heard it a billion times but it’s still cute, he tickle fight - but also he cannot control himself so it always ends up more spicy than it started, you the first time you took baekho’s shirt off: wait pause tattoos? and he was like yeah don’t tell the professors thought, he really doesn’t care man yall could be in a hospital room, in the storage closet, at his house, hell he will kick jonghyun out if baekho is in the mood then to caution with it all, jonghyun passes the torch of waking baekho up to you but thankfully your kisses (sometimes more) tactics work better than him getting a slipper to the face, it’s cute you and him brush your teeth together in the morning hehe you help him shave sometimes its so domestic with him, when exam season comes around he puts you in his lap and opens his textbook and even though you fall asleep in ten minutes because ew medical terminology he just enjoys your warmth as he goes through the book, “if you keep kissing every three seconds we’re going to either get kicked out of this amusement park or you are both going to break your mouths” - ren at some point probably, he has moments where the stress gets to him and he just keeps pushing back his hair and grumbling about everything and it’s weird not to see his happy sunshine face but you jsut make it better with lots of cuddles and lots of snacks, baekho showing up to his residency with a big fluffy tiger toy and everyone is like ? and he’s like it’s my sweethearts birthday today so im giving them a present - this is mini baekho, ren: bursts out laughing, jonghyun: put it away before it gets confescated, minhyun: ,,,it’s cute, you send pics hugging mini baekho and baekho is like uwu and then you send a pic where you’re [redacted] and baekho is like OWO, you two can clown each other like smear ice cream cake in each others face or you can show up to the hospital christmas party looking hotter than any two humans combined or you can jsut stay in on your rare off days wrapped up in your pajamas - listening to music together and getting soft butterfly kisses, the duality - tripality idk it’s jsut so perfect with him no matter what, you two sleepy one night with baekho’s lips against your hair “kinda happy you fell off that trampoline all that time ago” you hitting him playfully “stop i was so embarrassed” him, yawning and kissing your temple “prettiest person ive ever seen come through those hospital doors back then,,,,,,,,and still now.”

#nuest scenarios #baekho scenarios #baekho imagines #baekho au #nuest imagines #nuest au #med school au #college au #member: baekho #dongho scenarios #dongho imagines #dongho au #baekho #nuest #sfw #writing commissions

[belladonnaandulriched]

amped and wired, part two | chapter seven: bloody mary

It was so good to climb into a shower—it had been such a long day after all. The feeling of the warm water against my body and my head was something I had yearned for even upon waking up or even when Lars and I left with Brick for the hockey rink. Mrs. Hamilton was kind enough to wipe down the inside of the shower after she had used it, and she was kind enough to keep the knit mat down on the floor upon my climbing out.

There was a part of me that wanted her to be in that tiny bathroom, though, but only because I wanted her to scrub my hair for me. I always loved that feeling of having someone else scrub my hair for me; but I had what I had at the moment and there was nothing more I could ask for.

I thought about what Lars had told me before, about his deceased wife. I could admit that it was understandable in that he had difficulty in talking about it with someone but I had this odd feeling within me about it. I kept on thinking about his belching problem, how his breath always smelled like meat immediately following. Surely, there had to be an explanation for it, much like how there was an explanation for everything up to that point.

I stood back and let the shower pour over my chest and shoulders. I brought a hand to my chest to feel it cascading over the backs of my fingers and my knuckles. I took a look down at the fine brown skin on the back of my hand and at the very shape of my fingers, how they crept along all spindly and narrow, much like the legs of a spider.

That dream continued to linger in the back of my mind, too.

Even as the warm water hit my chest, I couldn't help but think back to the full details of it. The very digging into my chest and my stomach and absolutely tearing me to fine sinewy shreds... it made my head itch. 

Another thing I didn’t understand about Lars’ explanation was the whole thing about the warehouse.

Why lie like that? Why say that and not expect me to even so much as look over there given it was out in the open? It just made no sense to me as I turned around to rinse out my hair.

I tilted my head back so it would wash over the crown of my head.

Speaking of crowns, I wondered about Scott, Frankie, and Charlie as they bunked over there in Black Orchid. For some reason, I imagined us all becoming a commune of sorts. A small, tightly packed commune there in upstate New York as a bunch of bone broke artists being cared for by a horde of strippers. We would make art, have fun, and if anyone wanted to join us in it, they were more than welcome to do so.

Eat, drink, and be merry because it didn’t matter... we all are going to die and have our flesh reused for something else.

I turned back around for another scrubbing of my chest and my face. I looked down at myself, at my stomach, my hips, and my thighs, as the water made its way down my legs to my ankles and my feet, and towards the drain. The whole shower smelled of my shampoo and my soap, and I was in a state of bliss.

One more rinse and then I switched off the water, and let the residual droplets trickle down from my skin. I reached behind my head to wring out my curls of the remaining water when I caught Mrs. Hamilton and Lars discussing something in the next room.

Something moved out of the corner of my eye, too. Something beyond the shower curtain.

I nudged it back in time to catch the faint wisp of Mrs. Snow right as she faded out into nothing.

Ah, yes, the nurse who loved me.

Of all the ghosts who lived with me there, she was the one I could never figure out the origin of. Mr. Lang was the old man from the military, Vera was a little girl, Nerissa was a troubled vixen, but Mrs. Snow was the oddball of the bunch, kind of like how I was the oddball of Anthrax. The few times I had seen her at night when I couldn’t sleep too well, or I was jarred awake by something, I always thought she had made her way over here from a hospital that ceased to exist by some dark magic.

She wore these pale white scrubs and the first time I got a real good look at her, I noticed the shape of a snake on the left side of her chest. It took me days to figure out that that was the symbol for a medical person, a nurse. But she also had a cross around her neck, so I had always assumed that she was more than a nurse, but a member of the church, too. Which church, I had no idea.

But I always found it interesting that whenever she showed up before me, I was always naked, like she wanted to do something to me for being in the buff. And thus I came up with this theory that she only appeared whenever I was about to get down and get going with myself—the first time I ever saw her was when I lay in bed with no clothes on and I had a little bit of a rise going to boot. I wasn’t using my hands, but there was something going there.

She could blame Nerissa all she wanted but the fact of the matter was that she always came whenever I was naked, and the shower was no exception.

Those white scrubs appeared in the bright bathroom light for a second and then she disappeared. It was right then I reached out to the towel rung for my towel, which I put upon my head first before I wrapped it around my waist.

I rubbed my eyes, and stepped out of the tub and onto the mat down there on the floor. I held the edges of the towel with one hand and used the other to steady myself.

In the next room, I caught the sound of Mrs. Hamilton laughing. I wanted to hurry up and join in on it, but I needed to dry off first and put my clothes back on.

I leaned forward to wipe off the condensation from the surface of the mirror to better look at myself. In the reflection, I gazed into my own two eyes and my own round face, and the black disheveled dripping curls tousled onto one side of my head and over my shoulder. I leaned back to better examine myself, my slender body. I even turned to the side a bit to look at myself.

I thought back to that dream I had had. Laid out on the table, strapped down, and wide awake with no anesthesia and under a thing that gave off x-rays. Remembering it somewhat, I noticed my body was a lot thicker than normal, given my waist was quite thin, narrow in fact, far more narrow than when I first joined Anthrax. 

It was like I dreamed about twenty-year-old me getting slashed open and carved for clone making, given my waist was sort of on the full side and the nurse called me a boy. Slaughtering the still slightly adolescent version of myself.

I spotted something behind me and it took me a second to realize it was Mrs. Snow emerging and then vanishing into nothing again.

I wasn’t fully naked given I had a towel around my waist, but I could feel her presence against the right side of my body: when she vanished, a wave of chills shot across my skin from the right side over to my left, and prior to then, I was feeling warm. In fact, the whole bathroom grew cooler within a matter of seconds. I turned my head to the mirror right as the condensation stuck in place and turned to ice crystals.

I swallowed down the burgeoning firm feeling inside of my throat, and fixed the edge of the towel against my waist, and I got the hell out of there. I didn’t care if I had on just a towel—I needed to get away from that freezing room. 

Mrs. Hamilton laughed again and Lars joined in with her. I stepped into my room and closed the door part of the way behind me. I strode over to the lamp on my nightstand: bright yellow light shone over every corner of the room.

I gave my hair a toss back from my chest. Still too wet, and being in a room that grew cold within a matter of seconds didn’t help in the least so to speak. I took off the towel and I put it upon the crown of my head to rub those curls dry.

It was oddly warm in my room.

And then I realized one of them turned on the furnace for me. Granted, the thermostat had a mind of its own at times but it was better than standing there in the middle of the room with no clothes on my body. I cocked out my hips a little bit as I pushed my hair up off my neck and my back. I was alone in my room with nothing on. I was letting myself hang out and feel for my own good, before I did anything else.

“Oh, hello, Joey!” Mrs. Hamilton said from behind me. I yelped out and lunged forward—lucky for me, I was right in front of my bed. She still saw my naked ass, though. I pulled the towel down onto my back, but it was useless at that point.

“That won’t be the first time I saw a cute little ass like yours!” she giggled.

“Mrs. Hamilton!” I cried out from the mattress. I lifted my head and shifted myself onto my side. She had poked her head inside but it was still enough for her to see me naked from behind. Some of those still rather wet strands of hair found their way into my mouth.

“Ha, I just wanted to see how you were doing given you were taking a while in the shower just now,” she confessed.

“Can I—“ I stopped to spit out some of the hair. “—can I at the very least get my fat ass in a pair of pants?”

“What about his pants?” Lars called out from the next room.

“He needs ‘em!” Mrs. Hamilton replied.

“Come on!” I groaned.

“You really do have a tight ass, Joey,” she continued. “Nice and tight and full.”

“MRS. HAMILTON!” I shouted.

“Come on back here!” Lars called out again.

“Okay, okay, just you know...” She flashed me a wink 

“You like what ya see here?” I cracked; at the end of the day, Mrs. Hamilton was a stripper all about pleasure after all. I might as well lighten up a little bit.

“Exactly! I just saw you flexing your body, I had to take a look. Real sexy and beautiful, Joey.”

She flashed me another wink before she ducked back out to the hallway and closed the door back where it was before to leave me to it. I climbed up onto my hands and caught the towel on my back so it’d stay put there. I then lay it on my dresser so I could put on a fresh change of clothes.

Once I was dressed in clean jeans and a little black knit sweater, I strode out of the room to find out what was going on.

“—surely there must be a way to darn my own socks without a needle,” Lars was saying to Mrs. Hamilton, who had taken her seat on the opposite side of the couch; and then he spotted me as I made my way into the front room. “Ah! There he is! The man of the hour.”

“You talkin’ ‘bout me in here?” I asked them.

“Maybe,” she teased me. “What we were discussing was Lars probably showing us a round of tennis outside before the snow comes in.”

“Where the hell you gonna find a tennis racket outside, though?” I asked them. “I ain’t a tennis player and Brick’s the guy with my hockey stuff. All I got is my jersey and my mask.”

“Mrs. Hamilton was telling me about a series of tennis courts near where the hockey rink is,” Lars explained.

“That’s a school, though,” I pointed out.

“We could still have a little show and tell, though.”

“But all the stuff is going to be packed up, though.”

“I still want to show off what skills I have, though,” he insisted. “I will make my own racket, if I must.”

“You’d need a metal thing and some strings if you gotta make your own racket,” she told him.

“Nah, no, no, no, no, this is making my own racket—kumquats! Kumquats! Kumquats! Kumquats!”

“Maybe we should wait ‘til tomorrow?” Mrs. Hamilton asked me in a loud voice.

“Kumquats! Kumquats! Kumquats! Kumquats! Kumquats! Kumquats! Kumquats! Kumquats!”

“Sounds good by me,” I told her. “I think—“

“Kumquats! Kumquats! Kumquats! Kumquats! Kumquats!”

“—I think it’s gonna snow here—okay, Lars, I think we get it.”

“I like saying it, though,” he said. “Kumquats! Kumquats! Kumquats!”

“What have we done?” she groaned.

“Nuthin’,” I assured her.

“KUMQUATS! KUMQUATS! KUMQUATS!”

“SHUT IT!” I shrieked. The apartment was silent; within a few seconds, I picked up the faint sound of rain on the roof.

“See? It’s raining now,” I pointed out as I pushed a lock of hair behind my ear. “No more kumquats unless we’re makin’ a pie or cookies, kapeesh?”

“Kapeesh,” said Lars as he made an okay gesture. “Hey, at least it wasn’t ‘fuck face.’”

“Don’t even think about it,” I said.

“I wasn’t.” He stifled another belch in his mouth, and that time he brought the tips of his fingers to his lips.

“Alright, so for a change of pace and subject,” she started, “what do you think we should do? It’s raining and I don’t feel like leaving just yet.”

“I don’t really have much to eat here, though,” I confessed to her, “so we’re probably gonna have to go again at some point.”

“Hmmm... well, the boys are still back at Black Orchid,” she started, “and I know Cindy and Gwen are getting started on their night shift. The place is still serving food until midnight.”

“I forget to tell you, Joey,” Lars piped up out of the blue right then. “I didn’t realize I had forgotten to tell you about it until I told it to Mrs. Hamilton.”

“What’s that?” I asked him.

“Remember when you asked me that there must be some source for all of the clones of Maya? Like they all must be coming from somewhere?”

“Yeah, of course,” I recalled. “I pointed it out to you.” 

He brought a hand to his chest and he looked as though he had eaten something rancid. “Something I learned from my wife prior to her death was that—there is in fact a prototype. Patient zero. ‘Prototype’ is actually a misnomer because it implies there was some experimentation involved when she vowed that that wasn’t the case. But she always referred to her as the prototype.”

“The first one,” she added, her expression serious.

“So do you think that maybe you befriended this prototype?” I asked him as I folded my arms over my chest.

“See, that’s the thing and what I keep saying—I have no idea. All my wife knew was there was in fact a source, a first girl. Just who she really is and if I met her is beyond me.”

“Right, of course,” I said.

“I mention it because—“ He nodded back to Mrs. Hamilton. “—she was talking about potentially having some dinner right now with the both of us and by the power of the human brain, I put two and two together.”

“Some fresh meat,” I said with a little gyration of the head.

“Exactly! Fresh meat as it falls right off of the bone, if you will.” He showed me a sly grin, one which showed off those pearly whites, still pearly white even after he had been let go with such haste.

“I can always go out and get something and bring it back for you two fellas,” she suggested, “and then I can skedaddle out of here afterwards because you look cozy and comfy already, Joey.”

“I am! Just took a shower—still digesting lunch—“ I brought my hands to the real soft but extra slender part of my belly.

“So I shall take my time then,” she said with a smile. With nothing more to add, Mrs. Hamilton stood to her feet and breezed past me to fetch her coat. She hesitated for a second to look at me in the face with her eyes hooded and her lips puckered a bit; she dropped her gaze down to my chest and then back up again, and hung there for a few seconds. And then she kept on going: she put on her coat, and out the door into the beckoning rain.

“I’ll be back, boys,” she promised in a singsong voice.

“We shall await you!” Lars replied with a mimicking tone. Once the door was closed, I returned to him with my hands to my hips.

“Kumquats, Lars?” I demanded.

“What? It’s a funny word, like ‘blubber’ or ‘tinkle’ or—“ He stopped in his tracks.

“Or what?” I asked. He was silent, and his green eyes had widened a little bit. The skin on his face had washed out to an almost pure shade of white. His lips parted a hair. But I could tell something had him pegged right then.

“Lars?” I asked him in a low voice. Slowly, he ran the tip of his tongue along his lips and his eyes grew wider.

“Lars?” I repeated; I could feel the hairs on the back of my neck rising.

“Very slowly... look—over—there.”

I did just that: I started with a look over my shoulder and then I turned my body around to find Vera at the kitchen table, right in the same seat where I had put Maya when I found her. In fact, she lay in a similar position with her head down on the table top. Her gaping black holes for eyes stared back at us.

I returned to him and the stunned expression on his face.

“Still think ghosts aren’t real?” I asked him. He didn’t reply. “Lars?”

He climbed to his feet and ambled across the floor to her. He got within a foot away from her when he stopped.

“Which one is this again?” he asked me in a soft voice.

“Vera. She’s a little girl.”

He dropped down to his knees, which allowed her cold presence to spread throughout the room: I could feel it coming down onto my wet hair.

“Dearest Vera—“ Lars started, “—so very young and so very ghostly. I assume it all to be very much so—very Vera—“

“Very Vera?” I echoed; out of the corner of my eye, I noticed ice crystals forming on the little ringlets of hair on the side of my head.

“Tell me what brings you here,” he begged her. She raised her head a bit so as to look at him better; as far as I knew, she was looking in my direction at the same time.

She opened her mouth to say something but I couldn’t exactly hear it from there. Without a sound, she vanished into nothing. Lars then turned towards me and the growing ice crystals on my hair.

“Shit will turn a guy like Joey white,” he muttered; I could tell he was spooked, but also fascinated, like the ghost of that little girl brought something out in him.

“What did she say?” I asked him as I didn’t want to let something as trivial as ice in my hair catch him sideways.

“Blood on the table, I think,” he announced.

“Blood on the table?”

“Yeah—she whispered it to me and I felt it from inside so it was hard to tell exactly. But that’s what it sounded like.”

“There’s no blood on the table, though,” I pointed out; I thought back to the dream.

“At least, not right now anyway,” he corrected me.

“I did have Maya laying there,” I recalled. “She said it to you, though—I didn’t even hear her.”

“Yeah, that’s—odd.”

The rain picked up the pace outside and that was when I started to feel hungry again. Even as much as I had eaten that day, I still found myself getting hungry again after night had fallen. Lars stood to his feet, albeit with a little struggle with one hand on the top of the table. I watched him make his way into the kitchen for another glass of water. This whole thing made me wonder now.

There was something else here. Something I couldn't exactly put my finger on.

#amped and wired #amped and wired fanfic #amped and wired part two #fanfic #fanfiction #metallica fanfic #anthrax fanfic #anthrax #metallica #part 2 #part two #also on ao3 #chapter 7 #joey belladonna #joey belladonna fanfic #lars ulrich #lars ulrich fanfic #new chapter #sci fi writing #ghost and spirits #text

[alyhollywood]

Confessions of Binx’s Medical Emergency

Friday night we went to bed and I woke to a horrific scene where vomit puddles everywhere and a very scared cat unable to pee despite continual non stop tries on l’y resulting in one foam puddle and lots of little droplets everywhere. My fur baby of 11 years was in

meidical crisis that was if left untreated more hours would be fatal.

The first place was now in reflection all about greed to get as much of your money as possible without best interest of animals in mind. Before anything they drugged him up to relieve pain and my cat came back into me unresponsive and rag doll limp appearing dead I totally lost it as I held him and knowing I had to leave him to possibly never wake from anesthesia.

So after overdose of medicine for profit and doing anesthesia when I later learned could of just sedated to place catheter, also tried to force me to fix him. He is 11 years old and I made a decision not to after lots of reasearch years ago. I hate how they can never respect that when I take him in for any vaccinations or care. The vet called me and for 15 min. I had to tell her no do not fix him while he is already under for the catheter. How cruel to ever consider doing such a thing when it is the same region he was already having critical problems with. Then the vet called again starting with “ Binx is okay...” only for her to then tell me he needs surgery and it would be $6000 for just that or I have to decide to kill him and had an hour to decide and call back. I went full on hysterical. How dare I have to be told kill an otherwise totally healthy animal because I don’t have that kind of money. I had already made sure with bloodwork his kidneys were healthy and it was solely the bladder only involved. As I applied for credit pet care and denied on all due to no credit history I called my parents to help me find a solution.

My mother then called and basically said we don’t have that and we will not put him down. We figured get through weekend having him stay at the hospital monitored and take him to his usual vet on Monday.... the vet then in a bitch remark mentioned another location I could try to call for a better price. So we called over and they gave me an estimate of $1300. Mind you I had already signed over $1800 to the first ER who has given me a hellish time to refund some of that since he did not stay in their care the full 24hrs i paid for.

The second place isn’t an ER but was open on a Sunday amazingly. I asked if they had any appointments and after telling the situation they squeezed me in at opening 8am and a surgery for later in the day.

Got him that next morning. The poor baby was barely alert or moving. My cat I have had since there was still baby teeth in his skull was silent for the first time ever in his life and barely breathing or opening eyes. They did the surgery successfully. In there found the bladder full of stones and blood clots and it clear the bladder lining extreme thickening which means it was going on for a long time. They did confirm with X-ray that they got them all and now it’s all a wait and pray to recover.

He had a low temperature that was not raising and was not alert and responsive as they had expected. It was enough to have then put in for a transfer to the place they had a agreement with to watch pets who need monitored overnight during the hours the place is closed. So I had to go get my cat take him to another city and then return to get him before 9am the next day to take him back. Mind you I don’t drive so this only makes this all the more complicated. He was breathing so faint I only could tell from a hand on his body. His head tilted up in the back corner facing away the whole ride over to the night monitor location was deeply troubling. I told him he has to fight to recover and cannot give up and leave me alone. We aren’t quitters so don’t he dare we are survivors and he will get through this we have faced so much worse and wound up okay.

He finally was alert this morning when I got him. Stood up even in this box and was checked back into the place of surgery. He was much more aware but still blood in urine. Got to go before they closed up for the night to visit. Standing on my toes reaching to the back of these cages my arms barely able to reach let alone to avoid bowls of water and food to do so when the bottom of cage is at my eye level. He finally let out a meow when I first was there which he hadn’t made a sound since the day before on Friday when he had fallen asleep as always in my arms.

My apt is eerily quiet to where silence is deafening and without him I can’t begin to fall asleep despite the fact I last slept was that Friday late evening. They will probably keep him until his catheter does not have blood in urine and remove it. Then monitor another day before sending him home with medication and a new diet to follow for the remainder of his life that will be more expensive of course. I inquired I am looking at three liquid medications and one pill to be administered once he is back home.

They have him on fluids so he is all swelled up from them but he is coming around slowly. His fiesty self is back and was told at the clinic he anytime out on the table waves the paw with the iv on at them to try to get them to take it out hah. I literally lost my female when she was just 23 days into her 10th year. So I held my breath this whole 10th year with him terrified and had only just relaxed a bit in January as he turned 11 to then be hit with this out of nowhere. He had no signs up until last week and then Saturday unable to urinate at all trying nonstop without success.

This has been emotionally exhausting and quite stressful. Not to mention I’m now more broke then ever using the last of money from a small settlement that took over 5 years to obtain from being run over walking in a crosswalk at 16 the first night of summer prior to my senior high school year. Guess that brain damage was worth it to have ability to save him... hah.

He literally is the last piece of happy memories I have to countless friends I have buried in the past 6 years. He has given me a reason to stay alive and got through so much together. Truly this cat tried to even stop me from being robbed. He is my protector well he tries anyways. My date when I get ghosted. My wake up call. My chatterbox to always tell me what is on his mind and give me a piece of it. Demanding yet sometimes in my best interest like when I really need to go to bed and he demands we do so. My cuddle bug that took place of my childhood stuffed bear in my arms at night to sleep. My little fashionista strutting around in his little shirts he adores wearing. I cannot imagine losing him right now and not when it was not doomed to reoccurrence let alone fully healthy otherwise.

If you pray please keep him in your prayers. He is not out of the woods and it’s going to be a long week. Pray I have the strength to keep going and hold my emotional basket case self together for him to give the best care possible. If you want to donate to help me out on covering this insane now close to $5000 and counting unforeseen costs my cash app is $AlyHollywood because like I said he will be on lots of medication at first for probably 10 weeks or so once back home in my arms. Which is going to truly be hard to cover. If you know a bit of my story from last year you are aware I had my own near death very costly medical crisis that has kept me from being allowed to work or school and even exercising up until last month when I got clearance from cardio and pulmonary; I still have a handful of doctors to clear me for full return to my so called life and plans. His condition finally being Unconcealable could not be worse timing for me honestly. Welcoming all positive vibes our way because gonna need it for Sertain.

He came into my life when I was trying to relearn how to do everything and have coping skills because my brain was no longer able to work how it did prior to the accident. He came when I was so alone and no one asked me to my senior formal dances and let me cry until he was fur soaked tears. He makes every day one that I get to smile and this apartment be full as if there was more then one human. Truly this main man of my house just happens to walk on all fours that left pawprints on my soul that is priceless enough to put all I had into his best interest of care. I love my Binx he deserves to live when he is still so much alive and has so much more love to extend

Anyways once I know more I shall update. I’m praying 🙏🏻

Update : 8am got a call he was not doing great still more blood then they would of expected in urine and was an unhappy kitty who would bat at the vet techs and not let anyone pet him. Not eating or drinking enough and probably going to need to stay a day or more longer in the Hospital then expected. He is very much attatched so I made the trip to go visit him this time I asked for a stool to stand on to not need to stand on my toes to reach him in the back of this high row of cages.

My visit apparently made a world of difference and he was more his old self even got some meows out of him! I was so happy to see him more himself and he even by the time I left after spending close to two or more hours visiting had less blood in his urine. See next post for more about my visit and a video clip too !

#binx the cat #thackery binx #fur baby #save my child #animal hospital #pet emergency #going broke #priceless #life is precious #cats of tumblr #warrior cats #senior cat #sick pet #pray for us #praying #hopeful #donations welcome

[ftm-quest]

Hello, so I figured I might as well talk a little bit about my last surgery on the 26th of July.

As I’ve mentioned before, in Germany (or at least in my clinic) there are four total stages to phalloplasty: 1. “kleiner Aufbau” (clitoral release/metoidioplasty, urethral lengthening, vaginectomy, oopherectomy, hysterectomy), 2. “großer Aufbau” (the phallus is formed using skin from the forearm, urethral opening is pointing down again), 3. connection of the new urethra in the phallus, construction of the glans and scrotum, 4. erectile and testicular implants. Far as I’m aware, these stages are broken up to lower the risk for complications.

I am now about 2 weeks post stage 1. Overall I had to stay in the hospital for 10 days post op. I went to the Chirurgische Klinik München Bogenhausen, which is a clinic with a team of very skilled, young and well trained surgeons, well known among trans men for their skill in phalloplasties. Absolutely worth the 6 hour train trip in my opinion. In the following I will go over more detail of my hospital stay.

Day before the surgery

I arrived about an hour late to my pre-treatment interviews the day before the surgery (thank you Deutsche Bahn), which was fine in the end though, but I had to wait a little longer at their offices. The talk with the urologist was very good, I felt like she explained every step well and carefully and took her time with me (not that I needed much because I knew about most things already). After that I got admitted to the hospital, where I already saw some trans men while I was checking in at the reception desk. My room was on station one, which is known for being the station with almost exclusively trans patients. I shared a room with (apparently during his stay) the only other guy that had stage 1 like me. We got along super well, I got to ask him a bunch of questions, it was great. Some time during the evening I had to get an enema to empty out my intestines (I also wasn’t allowed to really eat anything apart from very salty broth as soon as I was admitted, which sucked because I hadn’t eaten much all day), which was an.... interesting experience, but not terrible.

Surgery day

Once again I got lucky and my surgery was the first, so I got woken up at about 6:20 am and got to take another shower (shaved some more, I had already shaved at home which I strongly recommend, especially if you have a lot of body hair like me), put on the hospital gown and waited and waited until about 7:15 am (felt like hours) when I was picked up by a nurse and rolled down to the OP floors. Had to say my name and birth date to about a million people (for confirmation that they got the right guy) and eventually got my narcosis (took longer than for mastectomy).

When I woke up, I kinda just woke up every once in a while for a few seconds and would doze off again. I didn’t really talk to the nurses there, but listened to them talk a bit to other patients. Had a little bit of pain if I remember right in the area of the uterus and I was just kinda sleepy from what I remember. Later, when I was rolled back up to my room, the nurses told me that I had been moving a lot in the wake up room which I have no awareness or memory of at all and they had to give me some more meds to keep me still. Back in my room I think I was a bit better again, talked a bit to my roommate and all. I can’t remember that much from that day, but I know it was very uneventful, I slept a bunch.

Days after surgery

I hadn’t really eaten anything for the first one or two days after surgery because I was afraid of having to puke from the anesthesia, but eventually I got around to it some morning. On the first day post op I got to stand up once for a few seconds, felt a little woozy and then lied down again. Overall I sometimes had pain mostly in the urethra area, didn’t have much pain from the vaginectomy at first. They give you lots of pain meds tho, so it never really gets bad. On day 2 post op they helped me stand up again and from that point on I was allowed to stand up and walk around on my own, empty my catheter on my own and so on. Walking was a little uncomfortable, I had to walk kinda slow and all. Also that day my roommate got released after having some troubles urinating without a catheter, but eventually it worked out for him and he didn’t need to get another suprapubic catheter. On day 3 post op I had to switch rooms (I later found out that my old room got women and I guess they didn’t want to have mixed rooms) and my new roommate was just at stage 3. We didn’t get along quite as perfectly as I did with my roommate before (we were both sad he had to leave so soon), but we eventually got along better and better as time progressed. He had some more complications and we both ended up leaving the hospital on the same day. But it was pretty cool because he told me a bunch about the second stage, gave me some tips and actually showed me his penis. It was really amazing seeing it in person and not just in photos, it does look and seem quite different, but it looked very impressive and real and I just can’t wait.

At day 4 post op they removed the drain and the “band aids” over my genitalia which finally removed the pains I was getting from the band aids pushing into my vaginectomy wounds, but on the downside introduced me to the real annoyances and pains of catheters. Since now the catheter was free to move around (before it was fixed through the thick layers of band aids) it could introduce all kinds of discomfort and pains to the sensitive area. I’d say it progressively moves from just being annoying to being more and more painful. In general my t-dick has been feeling painfully overstimulated since about 6 or so days post op and it still does. On the other hand catheters are also kinda handy since you don’t have to get up all the time to pee! Also after the removal of the last band aid one day later I was finally allowed to shower again. Very difficult and painful with a catheter.

Moving around was pretty easy for me relatively early on and I could do most things already just a few days post op, except for sitting. I was worried the sitting could cause problems on the train ride home, but when I tried to sit again on the last days, I could do it without much trouble.

As the days went on, the catheter got more annoying, I got less pain meds (only at night) and the days became more and more boring. Finally on day 9 post op I got my catheter removed very early in the morning. Short little sting but nothing bad. At first I had trouble peeing and I felt like I couldn’t completely empty my bladder. Later on though, when I had an ultrasound to check on the amount of urine in my bladder (my brother who is studying medicine did it because the doctor found out that he studies medicine and wanted to let him try, was kinda awkward), I only had about 40ml in my bladder which is more than good enough, thus sealing the decision that I will be allowed to leave the next day. On that day I also took a shower and peed in the shower (which worked much easier than sitting on the toilet for some reason) and the feeling of seeing your stream go forward like that and being able to control where it goes... Much more impactful that I ever imagined. I also eventually tried standing to pee at the toilet which worked out pretty well, although I get tiny sprinkles at the edges of the toilet (no idea why) and I have to get my pants down completely. The last few drops have to be dried with a piece of toilet paper.

And so I did, the train ride back luckily did not have nearly as many problems as the ride there, although I did have to carry my luggage a bit (which you aren’t really supposed to because it’s too heavy...). On the plus side, I peed standing at a public toilet on the train for the first time, which was also pretty awesome. No more sitting on disgusting public toilets!

Days at home

On the first morning home, I had a bit of a shock because I initially experienced the same problems as my first roommate that I couldn’t pee well as in only drops came out instead of a stream and it felt like my bladder wasn’t completely emptied. Luckily it got better an hour or so later. I’ve been having that problem for all days since I got home although I noticed it got a bit better since about yesterday. Most likely areas around my urethra are more internally swollen at night and thus close the urethra a bit in the morning. I actually feel pain when I completely empty my bladder right in the area where it feels like the swollen tissue is compromising the urethra. Overall though, it’s just getting better and better. I haven’t been taking any meds in a long time, the stitched already look really well healed, the wounds on the stomach from the oopherectomy and hysterectomy are super tiny for me and already super well healed.

I won’t have to work for the next 1 1/2 weeks, which should be more than enough time to recover. Honestly with the work I do I could already work again, but hey gotta use any sick leave you get right. I am a little bored most days, but my girlfriend is coming back soon so then things will get brighter and more fun again!

Next surgery and conclusion

My time at the hospital was boring, but almost all nurses were very friendly, funny and competent, the food was decent (hated dinner) and to me it was just an incredible experience that is hard to describe to be at a clinic where almost everyone is a trans patient that is further along in their medical transition than I am. You see so little of trans men in media, in communities just anywhere and even less of trans men with bottom surgery. It’s been my experience as well many others that the further along you go on your road to and along phalloplasty the harder it gets to relate to trans men that are still early in their transition. So finally being around people like me and people more experienced than me in this aspect was just amazing and I am very grateful and looking forward to my next stay.

Regarding that, from what I heard from other trans men usually the waiting time for stage two is about 4 months, which won’t work for me because of university. I hope I will be able to get an appointment in mid February because that will be the last time I can be missing for 6 weeks (I will most likely be doing internships this time next year). More importantly I hope my arm will be ready in time as I have not yet been able to start epilation because of the long long process of getting confirmations from my insurance. I am now waiting on the last confirmation after having had a consulation and after that I can finally start. Hopefully at least the area they use to build the urethra will be done in time, as the rest can be done post op as well.

Additionally, I find it interesting to note that from what I hear in the clinic, most patients that have complications are smokers, so since I have never smoked in my life and my healing so far has went really well, I count my chances high for staying complication-free.

In the end, this stage 1 doesn’t do much for me in regards to dysphoria apart from the fact that I can pee standing (just not at urinals), but with this experience of having surgery, being closer to phalloplasty than ever and having met and talked to men that have already had it, I have never been more excited and anxious to finally have phalloplasty and I really really can’t wait until it’s finally here. I know the hospital time will be very difficult, but the joys and new discovery of my own body and more will be worth all the struggle.

#text #bottom surgery #metoidioplasty #trans man

[chuffyfan87]

Hiding. Part 77c

"This isn't a dream?"

“No honey, it’s not a dream.”

She smiled softly, clearly exhausted. "I love you."

“I love you too.” He kissed her tenderly.

Each time she blinked her eyes were staying closed for longer, she was trying to fight against it but the urge to sleep was overwhelming.

“You should sleep. Get your rest, you’re going to need it.” He said gently.

"What if I don't wake up?" She mumbled.

“You will.” He reassured, “I know you will.”

"I'm scared."

“Of what, baby?” He asked.

"That something bad will happen while I'm sleeping."

“You’ve just got to have faith that it doesn’t.” He kissed her tenderly.

"Stay here with me?"

“Of course. I’m not planning on going anywhere.”

Somewhat reassured she finally gave in to her exhaustion and allowed herself to drift off to sleep.

As promised he stayed by her side.

After a few minutes Megan cautiously popped her head around the door. As she wasn't family the staff hadn't told her anything about what was going on.

Charlie looked up and gestured for Megan to come over to them.

"Is everything OK?" She whispered as she approached.

“Everything’s perfect.” He smiled brightly, a solitary tear rolling down his cheek.

Megan placed her hand on Charlie's shoulder and gave it a gentle squeeze, looking down at the sleeping infant in his arms. "They wouldn't tell me anything." She explained softly.

“He was born by c-section. Duffy lost more blood that average but nothing like she has the last times so she’s stable. She’s on obs every thirty minutes for the next twenty four hours.” Another tear rolled down her cheek. “The perfect delivery. Just what she always wanted.”

"She had me worried for a while there." Megan admitted. "He's a bonny little thing." She smiled, stroking a finger across the baby's cheek.

“That makes both of us.”

"She's too stubborn for her own good!"

“Hmm, god help Tilly’s partner if she's half aa bad as her mum!" He replied with a laugh.

"She's her mother's daughter for sure that one!"

“Oh she certainly is!”

"You should probably call the kids and let them know." Megan smiled.

“I want to surprise them.”

"How are you planning to do that? Won't they notice that their mum has been kept in hospital overnight and start to wonder?"

“I haven’t thought that far.” He admitted. “But they’ll be worried about Duffy.”

"Of course they will. Maybe wait til she's a bit more awake and let her call them?" Megan suggested.

“Good idea.” He smiled, “Would you like to hold him? There’s someone I need to go and thank.”

"Of course. I'll stay here with them both."

“Thank you.” He smiled. He kissed Megan's cheek and handed the baby over to her.

Megan took hold of the little boy with much practised ease.

The baby stirred a little but remained asleep in Megan’s arms.

Charlie kissed Duffy’s forehead and went to find Maggie.

After updating Duffy's notes Maggie had gone to the staffroom for a much needed cup of tea and a couple of biscuits, the adrenaline still pumping through her veins.

Charlie lent against the door frame, “Hi.”

Maggie jumped, not expecting anyone to enter the room.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you.”

"Is everything OK?" She asked, getting up from the sofa.

“Yes thanks to you.” He stepped towards her, “I wanted to say thank you.”

"I was just doing my job." She shrugged, blushing slightly.

When he was close enough, he kissed her cheek. “You saved them both. Thank you.”

"I'm just glad everything turned out OK. You're usually so calm and unflappable, it was unnerving seeing you so scared."

“She terrifies me.” He admitted.

"So I've discovered the gap in the Charlie Fairhead facade?" She laughed.

“Yes something like that.” He smiled shyly.

"I promise not to tell anyone." She whispered conspiratorially.

“Thank you.” He whispered back.

"She's a lucky lady."

“I’m the lucky one.”

"Yeh, I don't know your wife that well but she seems nice." Maggie agreed.

“She’s lovely, got a heart of gold.” He told her with a smile.

"We should all be so lucky to find that special someone." Maggie sighed.

“There’s someone out there for everyone. Duffy and I were just lucky to find it together.”

"What if that person is already taken by someone else?"

He smiled sadly, “I’m not sure.”

"Do you go for it or leave well alone?"

“Depends on the person.” He shrugged, “Test the water? See what happens?”

"OK." She replied, giving him a dazzling smile.

He smiled back, holding her gaze for a second longer than necessary. “I should probably go back to Duffy and the baby, make sure she’s not causing trouble.”

"Yeh. I'll catch up with you during your next shift." She squeezed his arm. "Congratulations." She smiled, leaning in to give him a hug.

He hugged her back, “Thank you.”

"You know where I am if ever you need anything." She whispered as she lingered in his embrace.

“I know. Same goes to you too.” He smiled before he pulled out of the embrace and left her to it. He headed back to see Duffy, Megan and his son.

When he arrived back in resus Duffy was awake again and becoming increasingly agitated. Megan was attempting to calm her down with little success.

“What’s wrong? What happened?” Charlie asked.

"Where the hell did you go? You said you'd stay with me!" Duffy replied, her tone angry despite her still being weak and tired from the birth.

“I was gone for five minutes.” He replied, “I was thanking the woman who saved yours and the baby’s life. It’s the least I could do.”

"Saying thank you takes a few seconds. What were you doing the rest of the time?"

“I was talking.”

"Talking to her was more important than being here was it?" Duffy spat back.

"Duffy, pet, calm down. You're not going to do your blood pressure any good if you don't." Megan attempted to calm her.

“Don’t start taking his side!” Duffy answered back.

Charlie sighed, “Duffy I was talking. I was gone five minutes that’s all.” He stepped towards her and stroked her cheek.

Duffy pulled her face away from his touch, reaching out towards Megan to take her son back.

“Darling?” He sighed.

Duffy relaxed slightly after Megan handed the baby back to her.

"I'm going to give you both a few minutes." Megan sighed.

“Thank you Megan.” Charlie watched as Megan left the room and sat down by the bed. He watched Duffy with their son.

Duffy attempted to sit up as the baby began to fuss, clearly hungry.

He helped her to sit up, “Are you going to breast feed or...?”

"I can manage by myself!" She muttered angrily though she was forced to accept his assistance as the anesthesia hadn't yet fully worn off.

“Will you please stop arguing with me?” He asked sadly as he kissed her forehead.

It took a few minutes for Duffy to get her son settled but once he was feeding happily she spoke again, though she didn't look up. "I don't trust her." She stated firmly.

“Don’t trust who? Maggie?”

"Not as far as I could chuck her!"

“Duffy!”

"What?"

“Why don’t you trust her?”

"She's got that look about her."

"What look?"

"Don't tell me you can't see it?!"

“See what?” He was clueless.

"Remind you of anyone does she?" She retorted sarcastically.

“Duffy! I have no idea what you’re going on about.”

"I'm not surprised she caught your eye, she's very much your type afterall." She replied bitterly.

“You think I fancy her?” He laughed before he realised she was deadly serious. “You’re actually been serious aren’t you?”

"Oh now why would I think that you'd be attracted to a dark haired, slender doctor..?"

“You honestly think I’m attracted to Maggie?”

"She's a much better option that what you currently come home to so why wouldn't you?"

“You’re my wife. And you’re sexy as hell, why would I want anyone else?”

"I'm not stupid, I've seen the way she looks at you."

“So she fancies me? Doesn’t mean I fancy her.”

"Oh so you knew she fancies you?"

“No but I’m guessing that’s why you’re so jealous.”

"I am not jealous!"

“Ok.” He caught her gaze, “She isn’t you, Duffy.”

"No - she's young, free, single and slim whereas I'm the fat and frumpy middle aged drudge you're stuck married to." She replied, starting to cry.

He pulled her into a hug, sensing hormones were playing a huge role here. “Duffy Fairhead, you are the most beautiful woman I have ever met who in twenty odd years, still insists on getting me rock hard. You are not fat! Or old. You have just given me another son, another child, and I love your body for the amazing things it constantly does. You are still just as beautiful as the day I set eyes on you, yes after you chucked coffee all over my shirt.” He kissed the top of her head, “I don’t want anyone other than you. I don’t want someone I can just fuck because it feels good. I want someone I can make love to and fuck in equal measure. Someone like you who makes me a better husband, father and man.”

The tears continued to stream down her face. "I'm... I'm... Sorry..." She mumbled as she lent against his chest, their son held tightly in her arms.

“You don’t have to apologise. It’s nice that you’re awake and talking.” He replied quietly. “You can talk to me about anything that’s on your mind, you know?”

"She reminds me too much of Baz." Duffy whispered.

“So you think my head’s going to be turned?”

Duffy nodded. "I keep thinking that one day you'll wake up and realise I'm not the girl you fell for anymore."

“Oh sweetheart.” He moved to look her in the eye. “You’ll never stop being the girl I fell in love with.”

"I hate feeling like this."

“It’s your hormones. They’ll settle down.”

"You haven't given her any kind of signals? That would make her think you're interested?"

“I may have said something.” He sighed, “I swear I didn’t know until we were talking just now that she fancied me!”

"What did you say?"

#chuffy #charlie fairhead #charlie and duffy #lisa duffin