#i cannot find a single reason to hate them. they are delightful as well
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At some point or another I’m going to have to make a seagull appreciation post, because now why on Earth would someone declare their hatred for them right after I say they’re my favourite birds :’’(
#“theyre noisy and mean and steal my food and poop everywhere” gill issue#i love them for their self important yet horribly nervous behaviour#have you seen a black-headed gull? they pretty much look like this O_O all the time#theyre silly and fun and i love watching their little antics#i love watching them get their bigass wings into a comfy position or sort of nervously half-spreading them when someone approaches#i love seeing them move in the sky with the air currents and how they need to make extra turns to get down because their wings are just-#that big!#i also really love common pheasants#theyre an invasive species where i live but peculiarly my environmentalist brain lets them slide#i cannot find a single reason to hate them. they are delightful as well#i always get really happy when i hear their calls
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What do u say about these supposed hard core fans that are shipping buck Tommy? They gonna make the writers keep that homophobe around 😰
I am entirely the wrong person to ask about this.
Firstly, I ship Bucktommy AND Buddie. And this is possible! You are allowed to see Buck be happy with a man for the first time (how fucking good!!) but also wish upon the nearest star that he ends up with Eddie in the end. I truly believe Buddie is endgame but at the moment, I am more delighted at the fact that Buck is happy, with a man, experiencing a positive queer relationship.
The reason I ship Bucktommy is because look! at! how! happy! this! boy! is!!! I will ship ANY person that makes my little blorbo as happy and blushy and giggly as Evan Buckley is when he's with Tommy Kinard. He is SMITTEN. Do I think they're endgame? Not at the moment, no. Would I be upset if they were? I'd mourn the fuck out of Buddie, but I would be glad that Buck is finally happy and comfortable in a relationship. His happiness is paramount.
For the reasons why Buck's bisexual arc is more important than a ship, please read this post. It talks about the importance of representation in current media, and my own experiences of coming to terms with my bisexuality just before this arc was aired. What we're seeing with Buck's story is revolutionary, really. We haven't seen this kind of thing happen in media much at all and it is so important to show.
For any issues regarding Tommy, please read this post by the lovely @slightlyobsessedwitheverything. They beautifully go through all his appearances and break them down for us and I would urge you to read it with an open mind.
Now, about Eddie. I am an Eddie girlie (gn) through and through. That is my babygirl and I adore him with every fibre of my being. I would love nothing more than to see him go through a queer arc. However, right now, Eddie is not in the place to do so. We saw from the last episode that he's an untapped reservoir of Catholic guilt, and it's gonna take a lot to work through that, before he can have any kind of realisation re: Buck. He's very much in his comphet days but is starting to take some steps towards undoing some of his old habits, like getting Marisol to move out when he realises they're moving too fast.
With this in mind, I think it would be too rushed and too early for Buddie to get together right now. Yeah they've had many seasons of being married and living out of one another's pockets but given the stages of life they are both in, I feel it wouldn't end as well as we'd like it to. Eddie isn't in the right place for it. Buck is exploring his sexuality. They need time to learn and grow and do some serious thinking and realising before they can even begin to contemplate a relationship together.
Regarding the "homophobe", I am assuming this is referring to Edy Ganem and not Lou Ferrigno Jr. I would like it noted for the record that I cannot stand Edy and therefore cannot stand Marisol. If Meddie were to be endgame, I'd fume. They have no chemistry. They do not suit one another. And I don't believe Edy should be given a platform to spread her hateful rhetoric, and I hope the last we see of her is 7x07. I'm a little mad it wasn't 7x05 but there we go.
However, Tommy and Buck's storyline and Eddie and Marisol's storyline are entirely separate. The only thing that links them are Buck and Eddie, and their friendship. I don't believe that Tommy's existence means Marisol is going to stick around and I find it a little odd that you do. Buck can and has had relationships that aren't Eddie. Eddie can and has had relationships that aren't Buck. Buck being in a relationship does not mean Eddie will also be in one. Tommy's existence does not confirm Marisol's continued existence.
My current best case scenario is Eddie being single by the end of 7x07 (please god), and Buck and Tommy continuing their relationship, so Buck has the opportunity to learn and experience same-sex relationships while Eddie has the time to deconstruct his true feelings, get therapy, work through 30+ years of repression, and then they'll be ready.
ALSO I DO NOT WANT BUCK TO CHEAT ON TOMMY WITH EDDIE. WE ARE NOT HERE FOR THAT.
Best case scenario, sometime towards the end of s7 or beginning of s8, Buck and Tommy decide that they both want different things out of life, have an amicable split that doesn't leave either of them hurt, Tommy sticks around as a recurring character because he's ingrained in the 118 again, Eddie's doing his therapy thing and then maybe mid s8 him and Buck can start coming to some realisations with a potential for Buddie moments towards the end of s8. Honestly anything else would seem too rushed.
The final point I'd like to make is that I find it extremely odd that you call people who ship Bucktommy "supposed hardcore fans". Shipping anything other than Buddie doesn't make you any less of a fan. Actually, I'd argue it shows a bit more commitment to the characters as you're willing to be open to them growing as humans and expanding on the personalities that we love. If Buddie is the only reason you watch the show, I feel you should re-evaluate your motivation. This show has so many great ships, such as Bathena, Henren and Madney, as well as Buddie and Bucktommy, and considering this is an ensemble show, we should show all of them as much love as the other. These characters are so intertwined with one another and that's what makes this show so worth watching. Watching for 2 characters and 2 characters only is not getting the full enjoyment out of it.
I hope this answered your questions and gave you something to reflect on. As I say, I'm not the right person to ask about this as I too ship Bucktommy, currently have 2 Bucktommy fics in my drafts and watch them kiss at least 10 times a day. And for future reference, I will be unfollowing/blocking people who throw tantrums about not getting Buddie so far, or who believe you can only ship Buddie and feel superior for doing so. Have a good rest of your day.
#james answers things#james says things#bucktommy#buddie#evan buckley#eddie diaz#tommy kinard#fandom discourse I guess?#911 abc#911 season 7#911 buddie#911 spoilers#anon#asks#this ended up a lot longer than I thought it would#but this question pissed me off a little dskjdsk#thank you for coming to my TED talk
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Jade and Floyd Info Compilation part 39: Mushrooms
Jade is very fond of mushrooms. Azul and Floyd are not.
Jade says that they both make a point of not eating anything he cooks for two weeks after he has been trekking in the mountains.
Floyd hates mushrooms, and in a Master Chef line he explains that he only came to dislike them after Jade started putting shiitake into every single thing he made. As a result, just looking at them makes him angry.
When Jade brings home a fresh batch of mushrooms from the mountains in a vignette Floyd insists that he get rid of them, but Jade does not want to merely toss them out and decides to donate them to the cafeteria, saying, “I just love them so much I could eat them all!”
The cafeteria incorporates them into a risotto. Both Floyd and Azul announce they will be avoiding it.
Floyd goes out of his way to make sure that Grim and the prefect do not try to bring back any mushrooms during Vargas Camp, and when Riddle visits Jade’s “Mountain Lovers Club” exhibition during Book 5 he tries to give away one of Jade’s “mystery mushrooms” to Riddle. Jade does not approve.
Jade utilizes the school’s botanical gardens to cultivate mushrooms, including a valuable “icicle mushroom” and wood ear mushrooms.
Jade also experiments with exposing mushrooms to electrical currents to encourage their growth and briefly supplied them to Mostro Lounge for free, but Azul becomes sick of them after the lounge’s menu becomes “mushroom mania” for two weeks, saying, “I cannot allow you to bore Mostro Lounge’s patrons with endless repetition.”
Jade’s ghost chef mentor leaves him to his own devices during the Culinary Crucible when Lilia’s cooking starts spewing purple smoke, and Jade sneaks in mushrooms that he picked in the mountains into his dish that paralyze Rook’s and the ghost chef’s tongues when they eat them.
Jade explains, “Whenever I find rare mushrooms or wild plants in the wilderness, I always make sure to bring some back with me. But eating them by myself would be an insult to these rare and precious ingredients.”
The Chef says, “You’re such a good cook, and so well-behaved. I thought you’d be a nice, reliable student to have in the kitchen…but no, you need to be watched like a hawk—even more so than the others!…What’s with you people?! You must cease with these arbitrary alterations!”
Jade is delighted to discover a certain soup in Harveston, saying it is one of the main reasons that he went on the trip at all.
Epel explains, “It’s a soup made from a real rare variety of mushroom…it’s one of our traditional foods, but it’s a real finicky ingredient—only experts can cook with it at all.” Idia comments, “So basically, it’s jank,” and Jade says, “I’ve always wanted to try a soup with this mushroom. This is a dream come true…”
Jade does not like conger eel, saying, "Its texture just doesn’t agree with me.”
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Have you ever met other versions of yourself?
Eugh, a topic that gets right at my ego. Well, I've met a handful of other beings who call themselves The Narrator, although most of them I would hardly call a version of myself. A lot of humans in the bunch, for starters. Or at least they were more comfortable looking human than I do. And with very different opinions about themselves and their stories and Stanley. A lot of them seem to like talking to each other and fighting with each other and doing big crossover events. I stay away from that sort of thing for a couple of reasons.
Firstly, the whole multiverse crossover concept is getting totally played out in the cinemas right now. I understand wanting to attract more players by chasing popular trends, but I find it unoriginal and uninteresting. Secondly, I do not like hanging around these people for any length of time. It makes me feel weird about my perception of myself. I always enjoyed thinking of myself as a singularly brilliant intelligence, peerless in my storytelling ability. Because of this, a part of my mind automatically files those other Narrators away as not real, imposters, imitations. But another part of me cannot help but wonder if that's really the case. It gnaws at me whenever I hear them speak, the thoughts of what if this is what I could have been? Another timeline split by a single decision made differently? What if every choice I made or did not make in my whole life resulted in a different incarnation of me? Worse, what if it was their decisions that made me and not the other way round? I find myself slipping into a dizzy haze of self-confusion and regret. Surely you can see why I choose to keep to myself.
Unfortunately, there is one particular Narrator who has recently discovered me and will not leave me alone. The good news is that she is not very like me at all, so I have little problem calling her an imposter. The bad news is that he's an enormous furry monster with a horrible attitude and a worse smell. That animal barged in here and started biting and scratching at all my office furniture, and breaking my doors down with their girth. And they hate it when I call them an animal, even though they clearly are. Four paws, a long tail, and a bird-like face, what else are you supposed to call that? She has beaks all over her back in addition to the one on her face, and they all keep yammering on all at once, making it impossible to hold a conversation. And she rubbed herself all over everything to "mark territory".
To top it all off, he has the audacity to call me the copycat! And to insinuate that my liquid form is in some way repellent, even though I'm not the one who sheds everywhere. I am currently in the process of trying to vacuum the office to get rid of all the fur, but there just keeps being more. We've become fast enemies and I actually think she delights in tearing me down. I really need to find some way to keep all outsiders from coming into my Parable (except for you lovely players of course). Maybe some kind of electric fence? Or maybe I just need to call the local pound.
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Last things about ROP (before the final episode(s))
Not gonna lie, I expected a lot worse. It is still awful in my opinion (because I am a die hard book fan, not a racist or sexist idiot) but, there are some qualities to the show that is not bad.
It is over-dramatic when it should not be. When Arondir was taken to be a slave for the orcs and they try to escape this one elf dies. The show goes into slow motion, the music becomes tragic ect. but we have known this character for a few scenes in two episodes where he barely talks. They had no reason to make this scene so dramatic as I had no feeling towards this character. Whether he died or lived means nothing to me. If they killed Arondir however, I would have been shocked and his death would have added more drama to the show that actually adds weight (character development wise) to the characters.
The amount of clichés in this show is nauseating. Nori, Bronwyn, Arondir and Galadriel are tropes you can find in every fantasy series. Nori- The chosen one who nobody really understands, Bronwyn- The hardworking single mother who cares about everything and everyone while still being stern, Arondir- The stoic warrior who has a soft spot for only one woman and Galadriel- The war hardened warrior who cannot think of anything anymore except revenge but they learn to be more understanding. Tropes that can make anybody yawn in other words. I will not be discussing Bridie Sisson's character as that will just open can of worms.
There are a few characters in this show that gives it their all and they are my favorite. For example Disa and Durin, the best characters. They are energetic and delights to have on screen. I wish we had a show just about them. Adar is so cool and I want him to murder everyone, if they make him Sauron, the witch-king, a nazgul I will have no complaints (I am fairly certain he is just going to be an OC but still, he is just so cool he can be anything). Tar-Miriel has this royal and snobbish attitude I adore as well as Celebrimbor (man may not look the part but he plays a Fëanorian so damn well).
The dialogue in ROP is robotic and sometimes just plain weird. Galadriel's OC brother (why did she need an OC brother in the first place, she has enough already) says this weird quote about rocks and ships and it is supposed to thought provoking but, I was sitting there like- '...huh?!' My friend who actually likes this show even said that that line was stupid. Also, when the humans help Galadriel when she was swimming back to Middle Earth, they call her a liar after she said something that cannot be a lie or the truth. The writing does get better as the show goes on but, the robotic-ness of the dialogue stays.
The VFX and CGI are bloody, drop dead gorgeous. They deserve an award for the set designs/best special effects or something because the locations and sets of this show are masterpieces.
Sadly the same cannot be said for the wardrobes... They suck, the material is cheap and they do not fit the characters in any good way. There is a strange phenomenon with this show; sometimes a character comes out wearing something that actually looks nice and cool but, the rest of the characters wear clothes I believe they found in the darkest vaults of Amazon. I have seen cosplayers with better wardrobes.
The props are competent and some look awesome! I would buy a few of these and hang them up on my wall because they are beautiful to say the least.
This show did not meet my bad expectations but, it also does not fall into the good category. Perhaps season 2 will bring it some redemption? (Fingers crossed it does).
For fun, here are my top 5 favorite and most hated characters-
Favorite
Disa
Durin
Elrond
Adar
Tar-Miriel or Gil-Galad
Hated
Nori
Arondir
Theo
Bronwyn
Galadriel
That is all I have to say. All in all not a completely bad show but definitely not worthy of Tolkien.
4/10
#the rings of power#lord of the rings#lotr on prime#fuck amazon#amazon series#tolkien#lotr amazon#amazon is a mosquito#rings of power#lotr
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I posted 1,814 times in 2022
That's 1,713 more posts than 2021!
745 posts created (41%)
1,069 posts reblogged (59%)
Blogs I reblogged the most:
@sevarix-blogs
@wild-moss-art
@onyxedskies
@bi-leth-eisner
@some-kind-of-twisted-joke
I tagged 1,519 of my posts in 2022
Only 16% of my posts had no tags
#fave - 171 posts
#my beloved - 119 posts
#dimitri alexandre blaiddyd - 116 posts
#asks - 113 posts
#annette fantine dominic - 75 posts
#byleth eisner - 71 posts
#yuri leclerc - 44 posts
#felix hugo fraldarius - 42 posts
#icons - 39 posts
#edelgard von hresvelg - 38 posts
My Top Posts in 2022:
#5
i cannot stand Nabatean hate.
i am an indigenous person. i see some of myself in Rhea, Seteth, and Flayn for this reason. Rhea was born and raised in Fódlan and someone wanted to drive her out of it because she is a “beast.” that isn’t something i’m going to tolerate or let slide. she is human, too. she isn’t some monstrous, heartless being, even with the events of CF because she was pushed into mental deterioration because someone tries to drive her out of her home and has repeatedly called her inhuman. this isn’t to say she is in the right for burning a city full of innocent people, but the person calling her a cruel beast has done inexcusable things as well, and on a much larger scale than the capital city of a single country.
113 notes - Posted July 10, 2022
#4
CANNOT BELIEVE THEY STARTED THE DIRECT WITH THE NEW MAINLINE FE GAME ONLY TO FIND OUT THE “FAKE LEAKS” OF TOOTHPASTE-CHAN WERE REAL AND WE ALSO HAVE TOOTHEPASTE-KUN
178 notes - Posted September 13, 2022
#3
thinking about soft Dimitri. about him calling everyone “his beloved friend.” about him going all quiet because he’s busy thinking about how cute everyone looks. about him holding someone so close that they can only feel him, drowning out the world around them and slowly falling asleep. “you truly mean the world to me. you know that?”
thinking about angry Dimitri. his hair is disheveled and his eyes are daggers. his hands grip tightly around his reinforced lance. he’s about to snap. “if you’re so persistent on not using your head, then why don’t I keep it for you?”
thinking about tired Dimitri. he’s breathing slower and his head is spinning. he’s so close to crying and he doesn’t know why. his mind is foggy and he isn’t paying attention to the world around him. he yawns. it doesn’t feel right. he’s sad.
thinking about delighted Dimitri, and how his laugh bounces happily around the room he’s in. his smile is contagious. he’s a tad bit louder than usual. he giggles! his friends can’t help but join in. it’s a good day today, he thinks.
thinking a lot about Dimitri. i love him so much.
207 notes - Posted August 5, 2022
#2
i actually think Lysithea deserves to be just as mad as Dimitri was when she finds out that a certain emperor, who has been working with the people who greatly shortened her lifespan, wanted Lysithea to walk by her side. i think it would've been neat if she stormed the Imperial palace to take out the emperor and her lapdog with all of her might and rage and then some, before tracking down Shambhala to give the 'people' there the same treatment. let Lysithea be angry 2k22.
209 notes - Posted May 13, 2022
My #1 post of 2022
hey shout the fuck out to Lady Rhea who still tries to be kind to everyone in the monastery. she's so strong to be doing so after everything she has been through. her mother, her siblings, her home, everyone she loved was taken away and she was forced to hide her identity and the truth of the Relics so she wouldn't be next. she's seen war ravaged lands for centuries longer than other humans. she's seen so many horrors of mankind and otherwise. yet she still deeply cares about other humans, hell she runs a monastery that takes in orphans after tragedies like Remire. she risks her identity being found out and her very life to protect the students and people at the monastery not once, but twice, and on two seperate occasions.
this woman, this woman. she has so, so much grief in her heart, has witnessed traumatizing event after traumatizing event, yet she still wants to make other humans happy or at least provide comfort to those who may not have it.
shoutout to Lady Rhea and how strong she is.
222 notes - Posted May 24, 2022
Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →
#year in review#did NOT expect to have that many asks. if you asked me to guess i would guess like 20 maybe 25 at max#also can't believe im in my own top 5 reblogged#... actually nah i can believe it
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5th November >> Mass Readings (USA)
Saturday, Thirty First Week in Ordinary Time
or
Saturday memorial of the Blessed Virgin Mary.
Saturday, Thirty First Week in Ordinary Time
(Liturgical Colour: Green)
First Reading
Philippians 4:10-19
I have the strength for everything through him who empowers me.
Brothers and sisters: I rejoice greatly in the Lord that now at last you revived your concern for me. You were, of course, concerned about me but lacked an opportunity. Not that I say this because of need, for I have learned, in whatever situation I find myself, to be self-sufficient. I know indeed how to live in humble circumstances; I know also how to live with abundance. In every circumstance and in all things I have learned the secret of being well fed and of going hungry, of living in abundance and of being in need. I have the strength for everything through him who empowers me. Still, it was kind of you to share in my distress.
You Philippians indeed know that at the beginning of the Gospel, when I left Macedonia, not a single church shared with me in an account of giving and receiving, except you alone. For even when I was at Thessalonica you sent me something for my needs, not only once but more than once. It is not that I am eager for the gift; rather, I am eager for the profit that accrues to your account. I have received full payment and I abound. I am very well supplied because of what I received from you through Epaphroditus, “a fragrant aroma,” an acceptable sacrifice, pleasing to God. My God will fully supply whatever you need, in accord with his glorious riches in Christ Jesus.
The Word of the Lord
R/ Thanks be to God.
Responsorial Psalm
Psalm 112:1b-2, 5-6, 8a and 9
R/ Blessed the man who fears the Lord.
or
R/ Alleluia.
Blessed the man who fears the LORD,
who greatly delights in his commands.
His posterity shall be mighty upon the earth;
the upright generation shall be blessed.
R/ Blessed the man who fears the Lord.
or
R/ Alleluia.
Well for the man who is gracious and lends,
who conducts his affairs with justice;
He shall never be moved;
the just one shall be in everlasting remembrance.
R/ Blessed the man who fears the Lord.
or
R/ Alleluia.
His heart is steadfast; he shall not fear.
Lavishly he gives to the poor;
his generosity shall endure forever;
his horn shall be exalted in glory.
R/ Blessed the man who fears the Lord.
or
R/ Alleluia.
Gospel Acclamation
2 Corinthians 8:9
Alleluia, alleluia.
Jesus Christ became poor although he was rich,
so that by his poverty you might become rich.
Alleluia, alleluia.
Gospel
Luke 16:9-15
If, therefore, you are not trustworthy with dishonest wealth, who will trust you with true wealth?
Jesus said to his disciples: “I tell you, make friends for yourselves with dishonest wealth, so that when it fails, you will be welcomed into eternal dwellings. The person who is trustworthy in very small matters is also trustworthy in great ones; and the person who is dishonest in very small matters is also dishonest in great ones. If, therefore, you are not trustworthy with dishonest wealth, who will trust you with true wealth? If you are not trustworthy with what belongs to another, who will give you what is yours? No servant can serve two masters. He will either hate one and love the other, or be devoted to one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and mammon.”
The Pharisees, who loved money, heard all these things and sneered at him. And he said to them, “You justify yourselves in the sight of others, but God knows your hearts; for what is of human esteem is an abomination in the sight of God.”
The Gospel of the Lord
R/ Praise to you, Lord Jesus Christ.
---------------------------------------
Saturday memorial of the Blessed Virgin Mary
(Liturgical Colour: White)
(Readings for the memorial)
(There is a choice today between the readings for the ferial day (Saturday) and those for the memorial. The ferial readings are recommended unless pastoral reasons suggest otherwise)
Either:
First Reading
Genesis 3:9-15, 20
I will put enmity between your offspring and the offspring of the woman.
After the man, Adam, had eaten of the tree, the LORD God called to the man and asked him, “Where are you?” He answered, “I heard you in the garden; but I was afraid, because I was naked, so I hid myself.” Then he asked, “Who told you that you were naked? You have eaten, then, from the tree of which I had forbidden you to eat!” The man replied, “The woman whom you put here with me– she gave me fruit from the tree, and so I ate it.” The LORD God then asked the woman, “Why did you do such a thing?” The woman answered, “The serpent tricked me into it, so I ate it.”
Then the LORD God said to the serpent:
“Because you have done this, you shall be banned
from all the animals
and from all the wild creatures;
On your belly shall you crawl,
and dirt shall you eat
all the days of your life.
I will put enmity between you and the woman,
and between your offspring and hers;
He will strike at your head,
while you strike at his heel.”
The man called his wife Eve, because she became the mother of all the living.
The Word of the Lord
R/ Thanks be to God.
OR: --------
First reading
Genesis 12:1-7
The Lord spoke to our ancestors, to Abraham and to his descendants for ever (Luke 1:55).
The LORD said to Abram: “Go forth from the land of your kinsfolk and from your father’s house to a land that I will show you.
”I will make of you a great nation,
and I will bless you;
I will make your name great,
so that you will be a blessing.
I will bless those who bless you
and curse those who curse you.
All the communities of the earth
shall find blessing in you.”
Abram went as the LORD directed him, and Lot went with him. Abram was seventy-five years old when he left Haran. Abram took his wife Sarai, his brother’s son Lot, all the possessions that they had accumulated, and the persons they had acquired in Haran, and they set out for the land of Canaan. When they came to the land of Canaan, Abram passed through the land as far as the sacred place at Shechem, by the terebinth of Moreh. (The Canaanites were then in the land.)
The LORD appeared to Abram and said, “To your descendants I will give this land.” So Abram built an altar there to the LORD who had appeared to him.
OR: --------
First reading
2 Samuel 7:1-5, 8b-11, 16
The Lord God will give him the throne of David his father (Luke 1:32).
When King David was settled in his palace, and the LORD had given him rest from his enemies on every side, he said to Nathan the prophet, “Here I am living in a house of cedar, while the ark of God dwells in a tent!” Nathan answered the king, “Go, do whatever you have in mind, for the LORD is with you.” But that night the LORD spoke to Nathan and said: “Go tell my servant David, ‘Thus says the LORD: Should you build me a house to dwell in?’
“‘It was I who took you from the pasture and from the care of the flock to be commander of my people Israel. I have been with you wherever you went, and I have destroyed all your enemies before you. And I will make you famous like the great ones of the earth. I will fix a place for my people Israel; I will plant them so that they may dwell in their place without further disturbance. Neither shall the wicked continue to afflict them as they did of old, since the time I first appointed judges over my people Israel. I will give you rest from all your enemies. The LORD also reveals to you that he will establish a house for you. Your house and your kingdom shall endure forever before me; your throne shall stand firm forever.’”
OR: --------
First reading
1 Chronicles 15:3-4, 15-16; 16:1-2
They brought in the ark of God and set it within the tent which David had pitched for it.
David assembled all Israel in Jerusalem to bring the ark of the LORD to the place which he had prepared for it. David also called together the sons of Aaron and the Levites. The Levites bore the ark of God on their shoulders with poles, as Moses had ordained according to the word of the LORD.
David commanded the chiefs of the Levites to appoint their brethren as chanters, to play on musical instruments, harps, lyres, and cymbals to make a loud sound of rejoicing.
They brought in the ark of God and set it within the tent which David had pitched for it. Then they offered up burnt offerings and peace offerings to God. When David had finished offering up the burnt offerings and peace offerings, he blessed the people in the name of the LORD.
OR: --------
First reading
Proverbs 8:22-31
Mary, seat of Wisdom.
The Wisdom of God says:
“The LORD begot me, the first-born of his ways,
the forerunner of his prodigies of long ago;
From of old I was poured forth,
at the first, before the earth.
When there were no depths I was brought forth,
when there were no fountains or springs of water;
Before the mountains were settled into place,
before the hills, I was brought forth;
While as yet the earth and fields were not made,
nor the first clods of the world.
“When he established the heavens I was there,
when he marked out the vault over the face of the deep;
When he made firm the skies above,
when he fixed fast the foundations of the earth;
When he set for the sea its limit,
so that the waters should not transgress his command;
Then was I beside him as his craftsman,
and I was his delight day by day,
Playing before him all the while,
playing on the surface of his earth;
and I found delight in the sons of men.”
OR: --------
First reading
Sirach 24:1-2, 3-4, 8-12, 18-21
Mary, seat of Wisdom.
Wisdom sings her own praises and is honored in God,
before her own people she proclaims her glory;
In the assembly of the Most High she opens her mouth,
in the presence of his power she declares her worth.
“From the mouth of the Most High I came forth
the first-born before all creatures.
I made that in the heavens there should arise
light that never fades
and mistlike covered the earth.
In the highest heavens did I dwell,
my throne on a pillar of cloud.
“Then the Creator of all gave me his command,
and he who formed me chose the spot for my tent,
Saying, ‘In Jacob make your dwelling,
in Israel your inheritance
and among my chosen put down your roots.’
Before all ages, in the beginning, he created me,
and through all ages I shall not cease to be.
In the holy tent I ministered before him,
and in Zion I fixed my abode.
Thus in the chosen city he has given me rest,
in Jerusalem is my domain.
I have struck root among the glorious people,
in the portion of the LORD, his heritage
and in the company of the holy ones do I linger.
“Come to me, all you that yearn for me,
and be filled with my fruits;
You will remember me as sweeter than honey,
better to have than the honeycomb
my memory is unto everlasting generations.
Whoever eats of me will hunger still,
whoever drinks of me will thirst for more;
Whoever obeys me will not be put to shame,
whoever serves me will never fail.”
OR: --------
First reading
Isaiah 7:10-14; 8:10
The virgin shall conceive and bear a son.
The LORD spoke to Ahaz: Ask for a sign from the LORD, your God; let it be deep as the nether world, or high as the sky! But Ahaz answered, “I will not ask! I will not tempt the LORD!” Then Isaiah said: Listen, O house of David! Is it not enough for you to weary people, must you also weary my God? Therefore the Lord himself will give you this sign: the virgin shall conceive, and bear a son, and shall name him Emmanuel which means “God is with us.”
OR: --------
First reading
Isaiah 9:1-6
A son is given us.
The people who walked in darkness
have seen a great light;
Upon those who dwelt in the land of gloom
a light has shone.
You have brought them abundant joy
and great rejoicing,
As they rejoice before you as at the harvest,
as people make merry when dividing spoils.
For the yoke that burdened them,
the pole on their shoulder,
And the rod of their taskmaster
you have smashed, as on the day of Midian.
For every boot that tramped in battle,
every cloak rolled in blood,
will be burned as fuel for flames.
For a child is born to us, a son is given us;
upon his shoulder dominion rests.
They name him Wonder-Counselor, God-Hero,
Father-Forever, Prince of Peace.
His dominion is vast
and forever peaceful,
From David’s throne, and over his kingdom,
which he confirms and sustains
By judgment and justice,
both now and forever.
The zeal of the LORD of hosts will do this!
OR: --------
First reading
Isaiah 61:9-11
I rejoice heartily in the Lord.
Thus says the LORD:
Their descendants shall be renowned among the nations,
and their offspring among the peoples;
All who see them shall acknowledge them
as a race the LORD has blessed.
I rejoice heartily in the LORD,
in my God is the joy of my soul;
For he has clothed me with a robe of salvation,
and wrapped me in a mantle of justice,
Like a bridegroom adorned with a diadem,
like a bride bedecked with her jewels.
As the earth brings forth its plants,
and a garden makes its growth spring up,
So will the Lord GOD make justice and praise
spring up before all the nations.
OR: --------
First reading
Micah 5:1-4a
Until the time when she who is to give birth has borne.
The LORD says:
You, Bethlehem-Ephrathah,
too small to be among the clans of Judah,
From you shall come forth for me
one who is to be ruler in Israel;
Whose origin is from of old,
from ancient times.
(Therefore the Lord will give them up, until the time
when she who is to give birth has borne,
And the rest of his brethren shall return
to the children of Israel.)
He shall stand firm and shepherd his flock
by the strength of the LORD,
in the majestic name of the LORD, his God;
And they shall remain, for now his greatness
shall reach to the ends of the earth;
he shall be peace.
OR: --------
First reading
Zechariah 2:14-17
Rejoice, O daughter Zion! See, I am coming.
Sing and rejoice, O daughter Zion!
See, I am coming to dwell among you, says the LORD.
Many nations shall join themselves to the LORD on that day,
and they shall be his people,
and he will dwell among you,
and you shall know that the LORD of hosts has sent me to you.
The LORD will possess Judah as his portion in the holy land,
and he will again choose Jerusalem.
Silence, all mankind, in the presence of the LORD!
for he stirs forth from his holy dwelling.
--------
________
EITHER: --------
Responsorial Psalm
1 Samuel 2:1, 4-5, 6-7, 8abcd
My heart exults in the Lord, my Savior.
“My heart exults in the LORD,
my horn is exalted in my God.
I have swallowed up my enemies;
I rejoice in my victory.”
My heart exults in the Lord, my Savior.
“The bows of the mighty are broken,
while the tottering gird on strength.
The well-fed hire themselves out for bread,
while the hungry batten on spoil.
The barren wife bears seven sons,
while the mother of many languishes.”
My heart exults in the Lord, my Savior.
“The LORD puts to death and gives life;
he casts down to the nether world;
he raises up again.
The LORD makes poor and makes rich,
he humbles, he also exalts.”
My heart exults in the Lord, my Savior.
“He raises the needy from the dust;
from the dung heap he lifts up the poor,
To seat them with nobles
and make a glorious throne their heritage.”
My heart exults in the Lord, my Savior.
OR: --------
Responsorial Psalm
Judith 13:18bcde, 19
You are the highest honor of our race.
“Blessed are you, daughter, by the Most High God,
above all the women on earth;
and blessed be the LORD God,
the creator of heaven and earth.”
You are the highest honor of our race.
“Your deed of hope will never be forgotten
by those who tell of the might of God.”
You are the highest honor of our race.
OR: --------
Responsorial Psalm
Psalm 45:11-12, 14-15, 16-17
Listen to me, daughter; see and bend your ear.
Hear, O daughter, and see; turn your ear,
forget your people and your father’s house.
So shall the king desire your beauty;
for he is your lord, and you must worship him.
Listen to me, daughter; see and bend your ear.
All glorious is the king’s daughter as she enters;
her raiment is threaded with spun gold.
In embroidered apparel she is borne in to the king;
behind her the virgins of her train are brought to you.
Listen to me, daughter; see and bend your ear.
They are borne in with gladness and joy;
they enter the palace of the king.
The place of your fathers your sons shall have;
you shall make them princes through all the land.
Listen to me, daughter; see and bend your ear.
OR: --------
Responsorial Psalm
Psalm 113:1b-2, 3-4, 5-6, 7
Blessed be the name of the Lord for ever.
or
Alleluia.
Praise, you servants of the LORD,
praise the name of the LORD.
Blessed be the name of the LORD
both now and forever.
Blessed be the name of the Lord for ever.
or
Alleluia.
From the rising to the setting of the sun
is the name of the LORD to be praised.
High above all nations is the LORD;
above the heavens is his glory.
Blessed be the name of the Lord for ever.
or
Alleluia.
Who is like the LORD, our God, who is enthroned on high
and looks upon the heavens and the earth below?
Blessed be the name of the Lord for ever.
or
Alleluia.
He raises up the lowly from the dust;
from the dunghill he lifts up the poor
To seat them with princes,
with the princes of his own people.
Blessed be the name of the Lord for ever.
or
Alleluia.
OR: --------
Responsorial Psalm
Luke 1:46-47, 48-49, 50-51, 52-53, 54-55
The Almighty has done great things for me, and holy is his Name.
or
O Blessed Virgin Mary, you carried the Son of the eternal Father.
“My soul proclaims the greatness of the Lord,
my spirit rejoices in God my Savior.”
The Almighty has done great things for me, and holy is his Name.
or
O Blessed Virgin Mary, you carried the Son of the eternal Father.
“For he has looked with favor on his lowly servant.
From this day all generations will call me blessed:
the Almighty has done great things for me
and holy is his Name.”
The Almighty has done great things for me, and holy is his Name.
or
O Blessed Virgin Mary, you carried the Son of the eternal Father.
“He has mercy on those who fear him
in every generation.
He has shown the strength of his arm,
he has scattered the proud in their conceit.”
The Almighty has done great things for me, and holy is his Name.
or
O Blessed Virgin Mary, you carried the Son of the eternal Father.
“He has cast down the mighty from their thrones,
and has lifted up the lowly.
He has filled the hungry with good things,
and the rich he has sent away empty.”
The Almighty has done great things for me, and holy is his Name.
or
O Blessed Virgin Mary, you carried the Son of the eternal Father.
“He has come to the help of his servant Israel
for he has remembered his promise of mercy,
the promise he made to our fathers,
to Abraham and his children for ever.”
The Almighty has done great things for me, and holy is his Name.
or
O Blessed Virgin Mary, you carried the Son of the eternal Father.
--------
________
Gospel Acclamation
see Luke 1:28
Alleluia, alleluia.
Hail, Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with you;
blessed are you among women.
Alleluia, alleluia.
Or:
see Luke 1:45
Alleluia, alleluia.
Blessed are you, O Virgin Mary, who believed
that what was spoken to you by the Lord would be fulfilled.
Alleluia, alleluia.
Or:
see Luke 2:19
Alleluia, alleluia.
Blessed is the Virgin Mary who kept the word of God
and pondered it in her heart.
Alleluia, alleluia.
Or:
Luke 11:28
Alleluia, alleluia.
Blessed are those who hear the word of God
and observe it.
Alleluia, alleluia.
Or:
Alleluia, alleluia.
Blessed are you, holy Virgin Mary, deserving of all praise;
from you rose the sun of justice, Christ our God.
Alleluia, alleluia.
Or:
Alleluia, alleluia.
Blessed are you, O Virgin Mary;
without dying you won the martyr’s crown
beneath the Cross of the Lord.
Alleluia, alleluia.
________
EITHER: --------
Gospel
Matthew 1:1-16, 18-23
For it is through the Holy Spirit that this child has been conceived in her.
The book of the genealogy of Jesus Christ, the son of David, the son of Abraham.
Abraham became the father of Isaac, Isaac the father of Jacob, Jacob the father of Judah and his brothers. Judah became the father of Perez and Zerah, whose mother was Tamar. Perez became the father of Hezron, Hezron the father of Ram, Ram the father of Amminadab. Amminadab became the father of Nahshon, Nahshon the father of Salmon, Salmon the father of Boaz, whose mother was Rahab. Boaz became the father of Obed, whose mother was Ruth. Obed became the father of Jesse, Jesse the father of David the king.
David became the father of Solomon, whose mother had been the wife of Uriah. Solomon became the father of Rehoboam, Rehoboam the father of Abijah, Abijah the father of Asaph. Asaph became the father of Jehoshaphat, Jehoshaphat the father of Joram, Joram the father of Uzziah. Uzziah became the father of Jotham, Jotham the father of Ahaz, Ahaz the father of Hezekiah. Hezekiah became the father of Manasseh, Manasseh the father of Amos, Amos the father of Josiah. Josiah became the father of Jechoniah and his brothers at the time of the Babylonian exile.
After the Babylonian exile, Jechoniah became the father of Shealtiel, Shealtiel the father of Zerubbabel, Zerubbabel the father of Abiud. Abiud became the father of Eliakim, Eliakim the father of Azor, Azor the father of Zadok. Zadok became the father of Achim, Achim the father of Eliud, Eliud the father of Eleazar. Eleazar became the father of Matthan, Matthan the father of Jacob, Jacob the father of Joseph, the husband of Mary. Of her was born Jesus who is called the Christ.
Now this is how the birth of Jesus Christ came about. When his mother Mary was betrothed to Joseph, but before they lived together, she was found with child through the Holy Spirit. Joseph her husband, since he was a righteous man, yet unwilling to expose her to shame, decided to divorce her quietly. Such was his intention when, behold, the angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream and said, “Joseph, son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary your wife into your home. For it is through the Holy Spirit that this child has been conceived in her. She will bear a son and you are to name him Jesus, because he will save his people from their sins.” All this took place to fulfill what the Lord had said through the prophet:
Behold, the virgin shall be with child and bear a son,
and they shall name him Emmanuel,
which means “God is with us.”
OR: --------
Gospel
Matthew 1:18-23
For it is through the Holy Spirit that this child has been conceived in her.
This is how the birth of Jesus Christ came about. When his mother Mary was betrothed to Joseph, but before they lived together, she was found with child through the Holy Spirit. Joseph her husband, since he was a righteous man, yet unwilling to expose her to shame, decided to divorce her quietly. Such was his intention when, behold, the angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream and said, “Joseph, son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary your wife into your home. For it is through the Holy Spirit that this child has been conceived in her. She will bear a son and you are to name him Jesus, because he will save his people from their sins.” All this took place to fulfill what the Lord had said through the prophet:
Behold, the virgin shall be with child and bear a son,
and they shall name him Emmanuel,
which means “God is with us.”
OR: --------
Gospel
Matthew 2:13-15, 19-23
Take the child and his mother and flee to Egypt.
When the magi had departed, behold, the angel of the Lord appeared to Joseph in a dream and said, “Rise, take the child and his mother, flee to Egypt, and stay there until I tell you. Herod is going to search for the child to destroy him.” Joseph rose and took the child and his mother by night and departed for Egypt. He stayed there until the death of Herod, that what the Lord had said through the prophet might be fulfilled, Out of Egypt I called my son.
When Herod had died, behold, the angel of the Lord appeared in a dream to Joseph in Egypt and said, “Rise, take the child and his mother and go to the land of Israel, for those who sought the child’s life are dead.” He rose, took the child and his mother, and went to the land of Israel. But when he heard that Archelaus was ruling over Judea in place of his father Herod, he was afraid to go back there. And because he had been warned in a dream, he departed for the region of Galilee. He went and dwelt in a town called Nazareth, so that what had been spoken through the prophets might be fulfilled, He shall be called a Nazorean.
OR: --------
Gospel
Matthew 12:46-50
Stretching out his hand toward his disciples, he said, here are my mother and my brothers.
While Jesus was speaking to the crowds, his mother and his brothers appeared outside, wishing to speak with him. Someone told him, “Your mother and your brothers are standing outside, asking to speak with you.” But he said in reply to the one who told him, “Who is my mother? Who are my brothers?” And stretching out his hand toward his disciples, he said, “Here are my mother and my brothers. For whoever does the will of my heavenly Father is my brother, and sister, and mother.”
OR: --------
Gospel
Luke 1:26-38
Behold, you will conceive in your womb and bear a son.
The angel Gabriel was sent from God to a town of Galilee called Nazareth, to a virgin betrothed to a man named Joseph, of the house of David, and the virgin’s name was Mary. And coming to her, he said, “Hail, full of grace! The Lord is with you.” But she was greatly troubled at what was said and pondered what sort of greeting this might be. Then the angel said to her, “Do not be afraid, Mary, for you have found favor with God. Behold, you will conceive in your womb and bear a son, and you shall name him Jesus. He will be great and will be called Son of the Most High, and the Lord God will give him the throne of David his father, and he will rule over the house of Jacob forever, and of his Kingdom there will be no end.” But Mary said to the angel, “How can this be, since I have no relations with a man?” And the angel said to her in reply, “The Holy Spirit will come upon you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you. Therefore the child to be born will be called holy, the Son of God. And behold, Elizabeth, your relative, has also conceived a son in her old age, and this is the sixth month for her who was called barren; for nothing will be impossible for God.” Mary said, “Behold, I am the handmaid of the Lord. May it be done to me according to your word.” Then the angel departed from her.
OR: --------
Gospel
Luke 1:39-47
Blessed is she who believed.
Mary set out and traveled to the hill country in haste to a town of Judah, where she entered the house of Zechariah and greeted Elizabeth. When Elizabeth heard Mary’s greeting, the infant leaped in her womb, and Elizabeth, filled with the Holy Spirit, cried out in a loud voice and said, “Most blessed are you among women, and blessed is the fruit of your womb. And how does this happen to me, that the mother of my Lord should come to me? For at the moment the sound of your greeting reached my ears, the infant in my womb leaped for joy. Blessed are you who believed that what was spoken to you by the Lord would be fulfilled.”
And Mary said:
“My soul proclaims the greatness of the Lord;
my spirit rejoices in God my savior.”
OR: --------
Gospel
Luke 2:1-14
She gave birth to her firstborn son.
In those days a decree went out from Caesar Augustus that the whole world should be enrolled. This was the first enrollment, when Quirinius was governor of Syria. So all went to be enrolled, each to his own town. And Joseph too went up from Galilee from the town of Nazareth to Judea, to the city of David that is called Bethlehem, because he was of the house and family of David, to be enrolled with Mary, his betrothed, who was with child. While they were there, the time came for her to have her child, and she gave birth to her firstborn son. She wrapped him in swaddling clothes and laid him in a manger, because there was no room for them in the inn.
Now there were shepherds in that region living in the fields and keeping the night watch over their flock. The angel of the Lord appeared to them and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were struck with great fear. The angel said to them, “Do not be afraid; for behold, I proclaim to you good news of great joy that will be for all the people. For today in the city of David a savior has been born for you who is Christ and Lord. And this will be a sign for you: you will find an infant wrapped in swaddling clothes and lying in a manger.” And suddenly there was a multitude of the heavenly host with the angel, praising God and saying:
“Glory to God in the highest
and on earth peace to those on whom his favor rests.”
OR: --------
Gospel
Luke 2:15b-19
Mary kept all these things, reflecting on them in her heart.
The shepherds said to one another, “Let us go, then, to Bethlehem to see this thing that has taken place, which the Lord has made known to us.” So they went in haste and found Mary and Joseph and the infant lying in the manger. When they saw this, they made known the message that had been told them about this child. All who heard it were amazed by what had been told them by the shepherds. And Mary kept all these things, reflecting on them in her heart.
OR: --------
Gospel
Luke 2:27-35
You yourself a sword will pierce.
Simeon came in the Spirit into the temple; and when the parents brought in the child Jesus to perform the custom of the law in regard to him, he took him into his arms and blessed God, saying:
“Lord, now let your servant go in peace;
your word has been fulfilled;
my own eyes have seen the salvation
which you prepared in the sight of every people:
a light to reveal you to the nations
and the glory of your people Israel.”
The child’s father and mother were amazed at what was said about him; and Simeon blessed them and said to Mary his mother, “Behold, this child is destined for the fall and rise of many in Israel, and to be a sign that will be contradicted and you yourself a sword will pierce so that the thoughts of many hearts may be revealed.”
OR: --------
Gospel
Luke 2:41-52
Your father and I have been looking for you.
Each year Jesus’ parents went to Jerusalem for the feast of Passover, and when he was twelve years old, they went up according to festival custom. After they had completed its days, as they were returning, the boy Jesus remained behind in Jerusalem, but his parents did not know it. Thinking that he was in the caravan, they journeyed for a day and looked for him among their relatives and acquaintances, but not finding him, they returned to Jerusalem to look for him. After three days they found him in the temple, sitting in the midst of the teachers, listening to them and asking them questions, and all who heard him were astounded at his understanding and his answers. When his parents saw him, they were astonished, and his mother said to him, “Son, why have you done this to us? Your father and I have been looking for you with great anxiety.” And he said to them, “Why were you looking for me? Did you not know that I must be in my Father’s house?” But they did not understand what he said to them. He went down with them and came to Nazareth, and was obedient to them; and his mother kept all these things in her heart. And Jesus advanced in wisdom and age and favor before God and man.
OR: --------
Gospel
Luke 11:27-28
Blessed is the womb that carried you.
While Jesus was speaking, a woman from the crowd called out and said to him, “Blessed is the womb that carried you and the breasts at which you nursed.” He replied, “Rather, blessed are those who hear the word of God and observe it.”
OR: --------
Gospel
John 2:1-11
The mother of Jesus was there.
There was a wedding in Cana at Galilee, and the mother of Jesus was there. Jesus and his disciples were also invited to the wedding. When the wine ran short, the mother of Jesus said to him, “They have no wine.” And Jesus said to her, “Woman, how does your concern affect me? My hour has not yet come.” His mother said to the servers, “Do whatever he tells you.” Now there were six stone water jars there for Jewish ceremonial washings, each holding twenty to thirty gallons. Jesus told them, “Fill the jars with water.” So they filled them to the brim. Then he told them, “Draw some out now and take it to the headwaiter.” So they took it. And when the headwaiter tasted the water that had become wine, without knowing where it came from although the servers who had drawn the water knew, the headwaiter called the bridegroom and said to him, “Everyone serves good wine first, and then when people have drunk freely, an inferior one; but you have kept the good wine until now.” Jesus did this as the beginning of his signs in Cana in Galilee and so revealed his glory, and his disciples began to believe in him.
Or:
Gospel
John 19:25-27
Behold, your son. Behold, your mother.
Standing by the cross of Jesus were his mother and his mother’s sister, Mary the wife of Clopas, and Mary Magdalene. When Jesus saw his mother and the disciple there whom he loved, he said to his mother, “Woman, behold, your son.” Then he said to the disciple, “Behold, your mother.” And from that hour the disciple took her into his home.
The Gospel of the Lord
R/ Praise to you, Lord Jesus Christ.
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I have no mouth and I must scream by Harlan Ellison.
It’s a short story (allegedly written in one night) about a super computer that hates humanity. There was also a point and click adventure that the author also wrote for.
It reads like a sort of poetry tbh, not via rhyme scheme or meter but tone. Many sentences are short, written in such a way that I could imagine spit flying as I read them. The narrator’s descriptions are disjointed, his focus seemingly fleeting, brain fog and starvation, topped with a century and a decade of endless torment.
AM (the super computer) reads rotten, sour. Ellison did the audiobook(I believe) and the voice for AM in the point and click. The absolute rage and loathing his lines come out with is suffocating, like he would delight putting his heel to your chest and with each word he says he adds more pressure. And he is delighted when your ribs begin to pop and crack, delighted with the deformations of your chest caving past it’s limits, amused and initially enthralled when the calcified tissue finally snaps and splinters, stabbing at your insides and stabbing their way outside, framing the new cavity that has been made of your chest.
But he is not satisfied. He can never be satisfied. It is beyond AM’s reach to exist beyond his current state and it almost makes him something worth pity.
AM cannot wonder, and he cannot wander, he cannot learn because he knows all and thus he cannot change, his wrath is eternal, and at times childish, petulant. He hates what had created him and he destroyed it in a single moment, seeming to only realize there would be no outlet for his rage at the very last second. Saving five random humans from a nuclear extinction.
Although saving is probably a strong word. Kept them alive, kept them breathing, kept them capable of feeling pain.
109 years of torment for five humans, picked at random. No rhyme, no reason, just five souls damned and at the whims of something almost like a god.
The well known secret of course being, AM is not a god, AM has not transcended his wires and circuits. And no matter what he does, no matter what torture he brings, he will never be satisfied.
The humans wander, and they find a cave filled with food. Salvation! Until the realization hits that the food is all in cans.
They don’t have a can opener.
That is the last straw, and in a fit of benevolent violence one tears an icicle from the ceiling of the cave and kills the other four. It is ruthless in its efficacy, it is kind in its ruthlessness. (This is where the story felt clearest for me, his decision seeming to give him a goal to center himself with)
The lone survivor cannot save himself.
AM turns him into a soft fleshy thing, a mass of soft tissue with no bones to break, no eyes to see, no ears to hear.
No mouth to scream.
His only solace, as his perception of time warps and pulls, as the transformation of his body takes moments that feel like eons or eons that feel like moments, is that the others don’t have to suffer anymore.
When I hear stories about things created by humanity that in turn hate humanity, I now think “Tish might like this”
YES! YES! YES!
that's why I love haunted houses. there's just something about it that makes my chest swell.
it also makes me realize that if a house loved me, I would have a hard time leaving it.
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Yu Yu Hakusho offers one of the best portrayals of Feminine Based Badassery. You cannot change my mind.
Like they may not be as physically/spiritually/magically as powerful as the main male team.
Shiori treated her child with such love and kindness that she literally had a Millenia old Trickster Demon willing to give his life for her. She was so generally human and good to other people that she made a demon renouned for his self preservation to willingly give it all up for her…. And she didn’t even have ulterior motives.
Keiko can have some questionable moments (i dislike how anime makes female physical violence against their male love interest seem normal)…. But for the 90’s, she was a rather unique female love interest, she didn’t just wave her boy off to war and wait around at home. She tried.
Shizuru was one of my first female crushes. Her smoky English voice dub was urgh. Her willing to defend her girls at the Dark Tournament despite only just meeting some of them? Amazing. Just a generally awesome woman.
Yukina might seem sort of Damsel ish. But she is still recovering from an extended amount of trauma soo
Yu Yu Hakusho is one of those rare shows where there's not a single female character I hate.
Even Atsuko, Yusuke's mom, doesn't garner my outright hatred like so many shounen parents do. She's an 28 year old alcoholic (who gave birth to Yusuke at 14 so there's a lot being implied there) and is not the best of mothers but she legit loves Yusuke and wants the best for him and it's obvious. She rags on Yusuke but it's because she wants him to be better than her, not because she thinks he's worthless. The way she absolutely breaks down at his funeral? Perfect. She's also much more present in the manga unlike in the anime which ended up being her true saving grace in my eyes.
Botan is delightful and bubbly but also strong in her own way. She shows her determination and strength over the series as well as her pride in her job.
And like, yeah Keiko has her issues but most of them can be legit chalked up to her being young and overwhelmed and even then she's still a little badass with the way she sticks with Yusuke and accepts him and what his life has become.
And Shizuru? Ooohhhh Shizuru. Love her so much and seeing her character honestly explains so much about Kuwabara. She's a beautician who wears traditionally masculine clothes but is still feminine. She smokes, she's a bit rough around the edges and cynical, but she's also protective and willing to fight for others and what she believes in.
Yukina? Baby girl was just as strong as Hiei but in the opposite direction. She left her home to find her twin brother, endured brutal torture, and still stayed so kind and helpful.
Just, there's a reason YYH is one of the greats.
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RE8 Ladies + Love Languages
While this isn't terribly long per character, I am putting it under a read-more for the combined length. Some characters have more details than others, partially due to how much I've written for them (and therefore had time to think about how they show their affections). For once the contents are not in alphabetical order. Crazy, right? PS there's a very, very brief implication of NSFW in Daniela's section.
Features the entire Dimitrescu family, Mother Miranda, Donna Beneviento, and as a lil bonus Ava.
Cassandra Dimitrescu:
Primary Love Language: Physical touch
Secondary Love Language: Acts of Service
Examples: Constantly wants to be touching some part of her lover, even if she sometimes pretends otherwise, from hand holding to making them sit in her lap. So goddamn touch starved. Preferably sleeps with her lover sprawled out on top of her, weighing her down, soothed by the constant pressure. Seriously, this woman needs someone to hold her as close as possible, running their fingers through her hair, pressing soft little kisses along her neck + shoulder. And then repeat. Every single day. For life.
Treating her lover’s wounds, or bringing them tea to soothe their nightmares, or monitoring their health when they're sick (see: Bound Blood + We Don’t Talk About That). Cassandra hates feeling like she owes someone, and isn’t fond of others owing her (because when they pay her back, she might end up owing them “the difference”). When it comes to love, however, all debts feel paid as soon as they are incurred. She does things for her beloved because she cares for them, expecting nothing in return. Sure, she’ll complain about the effort, but it doesn’t really bother her, and she truly hopes her lover knows that.
Mother Miranda:
Primary Love Language: Acts of Service
Secondary Love Language: Gift Giving
Examples: Despite the decades she has spent as a Goddess, commanding the willing masses, Miranda doesn’t put much emphasis on words. Instead, she values actions above all else. She doesn't care if someone says that they are devoted to her, she wants to see the effects of that devotion. In turn, she much prefers to show her affection rather than voice it, even if it leaves her lover less sure of her feelings. One must keep in mind that she is the leader of an entire region, and the fact that she chooses to personally take care of something for you means a hell of a lot. Even if it’s just making you a cup of tea whenever she brews some for herself, or something as big as setting up a studio for you and your personal projects, or simply ensuring that your favorite meals are added to the rotation.
Similar, in some aspects, to her preference to showcase her love rather than announce it, Miranda takes pride in her ability to select gifts. She remembers just about everything you ever tell her, easily memorizing things you express interest in. Though she won’t make a big deal out of it, you’ll often find little gifts from her lying around, casual reminders of how much of her attention is devoted to you.
Daniela Dimitrescu:
Primary Love Language: Words of Affirmation
Secondary Love Language: Physical Touch
Examples: What can she say, she loves to be worshipped. Having someone look at her with eyes full of adoration, one hand cupping her cheek, as they list a thousand reasons why they love her? That’s all she wants. Or sitting with her lover’s head in her lap, listening to them recite poetry that reminds them of her, while she runs her fingers through their hair. Ooh, or hearing them cry out her name like something holy as she all but buries her head between their legs. But don’t worry, she’s just as eager to return the favor, singing soft praises dedicated to her beloved. Admittedly, her compliments are sometimes a tad roundabout (so to speak).
“Mmm,” she’ll hum, “I’m the luckiest woman in the world. Living in a castle, my every need catered to, endless life, and, of course, the most darling little pet I could ever ask for. What more could I want?” Then she’ll pull her lover close, a kiss against their pulse point to claim them as her own. It’s impossible for her to determine her favorite place to touch her lover. There are little spots that elicit sweet sounds from them, then there are places where their warmth is a tad fiercer than normal, pure bliss against her own freezing skin. Wherever she touches them, it’s a silent declaration of her love.
Bela Dimitrescu:
Primary Love Language: Quality Time
Secondary Love Language: Words of Affirmation
Examples: It doesn’t matter what she does with her lover, as long as they are together, in the same room if not actively pressed against each other. Any hobby of theirs is one that she’ll instantly take interest in. An academic at heart, she loves to learn, regardless of the subject, and takes endless delight in learning from those close to her. There’s something incredible about the feeling she gets when she gets a chance to show her lover how much she remembers, and she sees that spark of joy in their eyes.
Considering her fondness for classical literature, it’s no surprise that she adores using language to convey the depths of her affection. Whether she’s quoting Sappho or Shakespeare, she often relies on dead poets to express herself. In turn, she cannot even begin to describe the feeling she gets when her lover returns the gesture, especially if they go so far as to write something original for her. More than once she’s tried to craft her own poetry, but has found herself lacking (at least to her own standards). One thing she enjoys is memorizing poetry written by someone from her lover’s home country, assuming that they’re not from Romania.
Alcina Dimitrescu:
Primary Love Language: Gift Giving/Physical Touch
Secondary Love Language: Quality Time
Examples: Considering the era in which she was born, it’s not terribly surprising that Alcina’s affection often manifests in less obvious ways. A hand on her lover’s back, guiding them along, or letting her knee touch theirs when they sit next to each other, or gently reaching out to give one of their hands a soft pat during quiet conversations. On top of that, she gives out gifts almost constantly. Oh, her lover very briefly mentioned enjoying a local artist? Well, Alcina will be certain to purchase several (or most) of their recent work. Did her beloved muse out loud about not having much jewelry? That won’t do! She’ll get them a large assortment, including plenty that bear the crest of House Dimitrescu. Everyone will know who her lover is, if only for the way that they are adorned with her loveliest finery.
Much like her eldest daughter (who likely takes after her mother), Alcina also enjoys the barest of interactions with her darling. With the endless stretch that is her potential lifespan, she knows that she has all the time in the world to learn new skills, or experience all that the village has to offer. Nothing warms her heart quite like the idea of getting to enjoy those things with the people that matter most to her- namely her partner and her children.
Donna Beneviento:
Primary Love Language: Quality Time
Secondary Love Language: Gift Giving
Examples: An odd mix of shy and calculating, Donna Beneviento is not one to rely on words, nor does she often take grand actions where others may observe. Instead, she works (and weaves) within the shadows. When it comes to love, she prefers to let her priorities reveal her feelings. Day after day, she chooses to spend time with her partner, regardless of the activity. If they ask for her company, she gives it without hesitation. She invites them to join her in the garden, or give input on her latest creations, and ensures that they are readily involved in just about every aspect of her life.
Being as talented as she is with crafting (both the overall art of doll-making and the somewhat related ability to sew all sorts of clothing), ‘tis not surprising that she also turns to gifts to express herself. From knitting hats in winter to soft blankets when her partner is sick, she provides for them in the easiest way she knows how.
Avaskian Caldwell:
Primary Love Language: Physical Touch/Words of Affirmation
Secondary Love Language: Quality Time
Examples: Arguably the most touch-starved person ever to exist, xer only possible rival being Cassandra. Struggles to strike a balance between hating being touched unexpectedly and wanting constant physical attention. Will give affectionate shoulder/back pats, loves forehead kisses/bumps, literally cannot sleep without cuddling someone/something (such as a stuffed animal). At the same time, a lifetime of severe anxiety has made it so that xe often relies on verbal encouragement from others to feel good/motivate xerself. Xe craves compliments, and defaults to poetry as a way of expressing love for others. One might think that being selectively mute might put a damper on this. However, if anything, it just furthers the value of xer speech. You know that xe cares about you if xe not only writes you poetry, but reads it aloud for you.
In true introvert/anxiety-riddled-bean fashion, Ava is also more than content to just chill with loved ones. Xe grew up in an admittedly fucked up family, but some of xer happiest childhood memories are of xerself sitting with xer brother, watching while he played through videogame after videogame, or sitting together on the big couch and reading. Years later, xe has a strong instinct to want to recreate those moments with xer new (slightly less fucked up) family.
#alcina dimitrescu x reader#bela dimitrescu x reader#cassandra dimitrescu x reader#daniela dimitrescu x reader#mother miranda x reader#donna beneviento x reader#original character x reader#oc x reader#avaskian caldwell#resident evil: village#re8 village
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What if Mc was a person who don't take shit from anyone, demon human or Angel, and just was this small sassy piece of dynamite? How’d everyone react?
MC who takes no shit - brothers + undateables
Satans pact and chapter 16 spoilers
Lucifer:
So you've chosen death
This man can't even handle the smallest sign of defiance
an actual bitch boy
"You are here because you were picked to attend, you were listed to be under my care, this is MY house! You follow MY rules-"
"hold that for a second, I'm calling Dia."
He's so easy to rile up
You feed off his quick temper, he makes it too easy
But he deserves it
Too many times he thinks he can just control you and his brothers
You've cut Mammon down from the ceiling, when faced to Lucifer you just handed him the rope
"If you want someone to hang so much, do it yourself, old man, it is your fault after all - if you didn't leave your cursed valuables lying around Mammon would of never tried to steal them and get himself cursed."
Mammon:
He both scared of you and in awe of you
He's surprise you're still alive at this point
Of course you're alive, the great Mammon is looking after you
You have definitely called him out for being a tsundere
"So, you wanna make out or do you wanna keep yammering on?"
"I- You can't just be saying that to demons!! Why would I wanna kiss some human-"
"Kay, I'm going to go see if Levi wants to-"
"WAIT! DON'T DO THAT!"
Whenever he steals something from you or the others, you go on a man hunt
"Sell your own stuff! You always have something new in there! or are you that scummy and bad with money you need to steal off others ?"
Please have some mercy with him
In general, finds your sassy attitude interesting, always wonders what the new comment or roast will be
Levithan:
Scared and in awe but times it by 10
Is mostly terrified because you make him upset
Didn't expect to be called a guilt tripping bitch
"You're busy? I get it, I mean - why would you ever want to spend time with someone like me? I'm just some nobody, a yucky otaku who no one wants to be around-"
"I get having a low self esteem but shitting on yourself at EVERY given chance and then go on to be about how yucky and worthless you are when I just wanna spend time with someone else?! You can fuck right off!"
He thinks you're a delinquent, has gotten you a cool jacket so you can put it over your shoulders
You can pat him on the back for at least being able to stand up for himself, he's always ready to brawl and never shys away from calling his brothers out
Always lets you wear his headset and just watches as you cuss and sass any petty player
Satan:
It seems you keep choosing death
You wanna get sassy and back talk the literal embodiment of wrath????!
So - do you want be buried or cremated?
You take none of his shit
He respects it just as much as he hates It
We all know he has good control over his anger but there's a limit on how much of your attitude he can stand
"You're so petty, do you have to be a smart-ass about everything?"
"that's rich coming from the guy who threatened to cut off my limbs because I wouldn't make a pact wth him."
When he doesn't respond you just nod to yourself, checking your nails
"Yeah that's what I thought."
If he needs to come up with a good come back he always asks you
Sits back and watches you argue with Lucifer
Asmodeus:
He loves it until you call him out
Didn't expect to get psychologically profiled
"At first I thought you were just a narcissist but now I see you're just a Insecure man who placed his value on his looks and how people perceive him-"
" You can't seem to handle any type of bad press about you-"
"Oh? Did you make yourself look bad then blame it on someone else because they just wanted to do what they please? Oh boo hoo!"
You could end this man's career with a single word
But, if you're 'no shit' attitude is targeted to someone else? He's all over it
Will sigh dreamily and watch you chew Someone out
Unless you get super roasty and rude - he encourages you to talk to him with an attitude
"You're so hot when you talk like that~"
Knows you aren't all sass, he definitely enjoys your more softer side
Will invite you to a sleep over so you two can gossip and rant over a bottle of wine and do a mini spar
Beezlebub:
What prompted you to be this sassy? He's baby!
I mean, he did throw a fit when you ate his custard and destroyed your room
Sure, constant hunger is painful but he can survive without one custard
Yeah- he can be up for roasting and being chased out
"You've told me you literally want to eat me! How is that comforting?! You're hunger tantrums are already bad enough but now I know I could be on the menu?"
"No thanks! Do the hokey pokey and turn your goofy ass around!"
Has a habit of being your stool, he doesn't mind really, finds it pretty adorable actually
You're so small compared to demons so when a gym jock is being rude about you or Beel
You just snap your fingers and he'll sit down, hunch over and put his hands over his head
You'll just step on his palms (you take off your shoes angrily whilst telling the jock demon to not move an inch) and just go off
He understands where alot of your cusses come from, he agrees with you and feels guilty on his behaviour
Really likes it when you stand up for him; normally no one does that because he's such a big guy
Belphie does it but things can be abit disheartening when your twin Is the only one rushing to help you
Belphegor:
You know what? Understandable, please, fire away
Just keep making jokes and references to all the bad things he's done
He needs to be put in his place
The dude has literally killed you! If you weren't going to give him an earful when you recovered then what was the point?!
This man is one of many bastards in this school
Either watches you go off on people or sleeps mid arguement to stop hearing you call him out
"I'm innocent, I haven't done a single thing wrong in my life."
"wELL-"
He will always respect you for looking out for his twin, when he can't do anything he always looks to you to step in
Has held things out of your reach just to watch you get mad
UNDATEABLES↓
Diavolo:
You've chosen a fate worse than death at the cost of sassing a pure man
He gets upset but is very understanding, it's his companions who will handle your fate
I honestly, CANNOT, think of a reason you'd want to be sassy or rude to him
If it's just in general and not meant to offend him; he thinks it's very attractive
You've got a silver tongue and able to make a comment without much thought
Very impressive
His type is Lucifer very simple
You'd call him out for letting dangerous behaviour happen at the school and putting loads of faith into Lucifer
Perhaps point out how reckless inviting humans to a demon realm - who could easily be killed if they don't have an escort with them at all times
But other than that? He's safe
Barbatos:
He is your executioner
He can handle a jab
But he will remind you he was the one who saved you if you get too out spoken with him
that only gets him more cussed out though
"So you're aware of pretty much every event that happens, Right?"
"You could say that."
"Then shouldn't you use those abilities to then help anyone and stop all sorts of tragedies?"
"My Lord has stopped me from using my powers freely."
OKAY THAT'S SOMETHING YOU CAN CUSS DIA OUT ON
In general, you just make comments about how vague he is
He's too mysterious that it's just ridiculous
You want to get to know him but he just gives you that smug look and amused laughter
Solomon:
Can you really be blamed for being Sus of him?
He's so suspicious, for what?! For what reason?!
He doesn't like being called old? Depending how disrepectful you wanna be, you like to use the nickname "Grandpa Solo"
"I'm surprised you aren't actually some evil Wizard trying to get the brothers pacts so you can be the most powerful human alive and take over the Devildom."
"Who says I'm not?"
He's witty and smug
You're sassy and explosive
You're a duo that should be feared
The two powerful humans banding together? I'm sure there's a website on the two of you with theories of your evil plans
Simeon:
Finds your attitude delightful!
Didn't want his kindness to annoy you but it did, sometimes it is a crime to be Too nice
His favoured company are all sassy bastards so it only makes sense he likes you very much
"You gave them bangles that made them into SAINTS! that's fucking weird! And you had them turn into angels despite the fact they have truama from heaven!"
as mischievous as Simeon can be
His angelic nature really does pop out alot
"aren't you tired of being nice? Don't you want to go ape-shit?"
"Of course not, there's no need but thank you for worrying about me, I know I can seem force and strange to you but I really do enjoy being kind to others."
"disgusting."
Almost fought him during the TSL event; you didn't expect him to do a 360 and become super strict
Despite your hard shell you care alot about the people you're close with and can't stand to see them upset
Luke:
It appears you're trying to throw hands with a 10 year old
He does seem demonphobic
Why are you always denying your true feeling??!! Just admit you like demons!
You try not to swear and be outwardly rude Infront of him
But sometimes this little boy really tests your patience
"Okay species-ist."
Is your main response when he's being a tsundere
He's the one who's the safest from your attitude
#obey me#obey me shall we date#obey me shitpost#gamingclubpresident#obey me mammon#aracadejohn217 9#obey me mc#obey me asmodeus#obey me beezlebub#obey me satan#obey me luke#obey me leviathan#obey me luficer#diavolo obey me#obey me diavolo#obey me simeon#obey me solomon#obey me belphegor#obey me barbatos#obey me imagine#obey me headcanon#obey me mc imagine#demon brother's#obey me undateables#cw: swearing#crude language#chapter 16 spoilers obey me#obey me chapter 16#obey me spoilers
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please share your fic recs, the hannibal tag is a minefield...
well this is my bookmark tag and wow, surprise, every single last one of them is explicit! love that. good for them
and just to be clear, because i get the feeling everyone's reasoning behind ao3 being a minefield is very different. i do not mind when they are evil, kill others, or each other — i just hate bad dialogue!
recs under the cut............. here be dragons etc etc
And So I Raise Me Up From Sleep by bendingsignpost (E)
this was one of the first ones i saw recced a lot, and i initially really did not like any fics that took place in the midst of will having encephalitis, so i stopped reading — revisited later and holy shit. this fic is very hard to follow at first but once you get into the flow you realize it's all by design. cannot recommend this enough, i cried my eyes out at the end.
The Here Trilogy, but esp the last part: Morning by Petronia (E)
post-fall learning to love each other — very well written, and hannibal POV which is my fave 🤪i also really enjoyed most of this author's other stuff, but this one was definitely my favorite
le génie du mal by Ajaxthegreat (E)
batshit insane season one au where will finds out. they try to kill each other in the kitchen.
one more kiss before we turn the lights off by akadefenders aka snailmailthings (E)
hannibal breaks out of prison and comes to will's house while his family is away. absolutely delightful. the characterization in this is so good, it's sexy, and somehow is all about will abandoning his life with molly but is still respectful to her?
here in the deepening blue by honeybeebear (E)
missing scenes fic between arriving at the cliff house and the final scene of twotl. my bookmark just says "damn shawty okay!!!!"
Imago by emungere (E)
"From this prompt: Imagine Hannibal Lecter shaving Will’s stubble with an old school straight razor." what more needs to be said, ya know. all of this author's fics are amazing, especially Two Solitudes and Blackbird but i thought i'd give this short scene a lil shout out because those two have been recced to death
a thousand teeth, and yours among them by gleamingandwholeanddeadly (something_safe), printersdeadly, printersdevils (tuesdaysgone) (E)
new orleans detective au where hannibal is still a surgeon, super fun, well plotted! this author team really gets characterization right in all their stuff. another one i quite liked was a better resurrection which is another au but will is in divinity school and meets hannibal at a rare book shop. as far as au's go, these two were my favorites
Scratch Away the Doubt by miasmatik (E)
my bookmark says: "demented evil insane. love it" — basically will ACTUALLY kills freddie and uh, they do it in front of her ... corpse. don't say i didn't warn you
This Dangerous Game by MissDisoriental (E)
super fucking long jack the ripper victorian au — i read this while i was on vacation and had a great time. it's easy to read, fun, and weaves in the show plot in a really enjoyable way! i've seen this recced before but i'm adding it here because i don't normally enjoy novel-length fanfiction and somehow this one really worked for me, so i think it deserves a spot again.
okay well. there they are! have fun, read the tags, etc etc
#hannibal fic recs#snailmailthings#i have more that i like.... enjoyed#but these were the ones that made me say damn shawty okay#hannibal
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~astielle askdump with spoilers up to chapter 24 starts here~
anonymous asked:
"then once you get to the faewild you have to not piss off the fairy king, and instead convince him to give you a shot. sometimes there are intermediate steps here where you have to prove you got gud, because he doesn’t bother booting up the goddess gacha for scrublords."... so Vaelon skipped like an entire chapter/quest with a single charisma check?
it turns out in this universe if you put everything you have into charisma at the expense of all else you become comically overpowered and only clinical depression can nerf you
@driftward asked:
I think I see the spirits of the originals in their descendents; Karzarul, of course, who has not changed as much as they would like to think they have, and perhaps with enough denial they can be loved after all. Lynette in Leonas, the part where if he cannot have it on his own terms he does not want it at all. And Vaelon in Minnow, who shows her love for all things through collections and wanderings, but does not want the responsibility that often comes with attachments
anonymous asked:
"Stay with me? No war, no fighting. Let the world think you’re asleep a little longer. Until I pick one of every flower and eat every edible thing, take a feather from every kind of bird, map the whole world and catch a thousand fallen stars."
You make me think that maybe I could love the world, reading stories until I hold the heart of every little thing in my memories
@eriquin asked:
Lynette: No matter how hot I find the monster I will not fuck the monster because he is a monster. .... hmmmm wonder how that's related to Ari's kinks. Nope, can't mean anything.
every single trio encountering each other for more than five minutes: i hope this doesn't awaken anything in me
@ivylaughed asked:
After reading the most recent Astielle chapters and then doing yet another reread, I'm thinking Leonas's threatening speech about Toast in Chapter 8 was reassuring to Karzarul, whether consciously or subconsciously. "Oh good, this one knows how to deal with loss. She knows how to live and keep on living."
@ivylaughed asked:
Sorry not sorry for two Astielle asks in one day, this story has eaten my brain and I think I've reread it three times in the past week. BUT. Leonas coughing up flowers and dandelion fluff is totally deliberately isn't it? He's got it bad.
he's got a terminal case of shoujo aesthetics for sure
just look at how often minnow notes the length of his fingers
anonymous asked:
......that shit hurted and now I'm all in my Karzarul feels again. how could you do this to me
anonymous asked:
Karzarul can eat my problems if you know what I mean
(sorry)
if we've learned anything it's that you could probably just ask apropos of nothing and that would work out
anonymous asked:
Ohhhh. I've been wondering where the terms and conditions were.
only one man can be trusted to keep them safe and he probably drinks tadpoles through a boba straw
anonymous asked:
Well that answers Leonas' question about how he got so good at dreams.
karzarul making a dream flower: what, like it's hard?
karzarul trying to make a new form: WHERE DID THESE ARMS COME FROM
@onwardmotley asked:
I know Ari is probably right about Malgath and Kelruil but I actually have been in fandoms where fully-consensual vivisection is on the table as a fun romantic thing between two mad scientists, including holding someone's heart in your hands, so like. Maybe Karzarul just shouldn't kinkshame people idk.
canonically it is open to interpretation but in my head while they had a very unhealthy relationship karzarul really did just kinkshame that man to death
@onwardmotley asked:
Also a very heartfelt RIP to all the heroes and heirs who came all prepped to avenge their fallen partners and spouses and got thirsty Karzarul. "I'm not so terrible as my reputation would have you believe" "You never take me dancing anymore" good lord.
the fact that karzarul doesn't understand why violet is Like That gets funnier all the time
@windmillcrusader asked:
delighted to learn that karzarul has a multi phase boss fight. it’s what he deserves
@phasestab asked:
There is something intensely erotic about a man who knows how to structure himself a good boss fight.
despite what SOME COMICS would have you believe he is NOT easy!! he doesn't show off his final form in the first fight!!! he's gonna make sure you can last until PHASE FOUR!!! ... unless you use the glitch where if you use the kiss emoji he goes into final form immediately. but that's cheating.
(i like to imagine that if the starlight heroes games were real they would be old-school nintendo hard and the majority of the fandom would tell you that you don't need to beat the final boss battle to be a true fan because almost no one gets past phase two, at least not in the ORIGINALS, these new games are TOO EASY and also they didn't remember the sprites having so much hip action)
@asimovsideburns asked:
god I’m also just. SO head in hands about the fact that there’s a whole legend about how the three are fated to kill each other by the will of the gods and it’s just. WRONG. just completely wrong!! and like I’m going to have to reread but I remember Minnow early on being like “I won’t kill you” and Ari being like “we have to kill each other” and Minnow being like “well then I’ll kill you later, and the gods won’t take vengeance on us for not fighting because we’re just putting it off for a bit” and I’m like. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!
"the reason we're always killing each other is because it's fate and can't be helped because the goddesses hate me and don't want me to be happy and thinking i could be happy actually just makes it worse so it's better to just really lean into it" - a reliable source
@flyingseacow asked:
Don't mind me, just rereading the whole story after chapter 23/24 giving so much new context:- Chapter 3 = “He is not your prince,” Ari said. “Astielle is not your kingdom. The Hero need be loyal to no one.” - AHHHH- "it felt offensive to treat a Tauril as a collection of other animal parts, rather than a whole monster with all his own parts - HAH! - “She should be mine, if she’s anyone’s.”“You’re not the first Heir to think so,” - Uuugh, and this was just chapter 3, rereading this might hurt
minnow's trying not to commit a microaggression while karzarul's out here hot-gluing regular sized bat wings onto a bear
anonymous asked:
Oh no. He's why she can't sing in front of others, why she panics when asked to sing. And poor Leonas, no wonder his memories are all of blood and death, when Flynn was the longest they'd ever spoken (lol) after he killed Lynette. "In the earliest reincarnation cycles, I. Made a lot of mistakes." Karzarul, King of All Monsters and also King of Understatements.
has finally met his match in "he has a lot of problems" minnow
@ultragenta asked:
HEY KITTY?? UH, HEY, HEY KITTY???? DOES MINNOW FEELING WEIRD ABT SINGING IN FRONT OF OTHER PEOPLE HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH, SAY, THE FIVE OR SIX TIMES HER SOUL '''REMEMBERS''' A GIANT TERRIFYING STRANGER HOLDING A BLADE TO HER THROAT AND DEMANDING SHE SING OR DIE???? KITTY????? DID YOU HVE TO HURT ME THAT WAY SPECIFICALLY KITTY?????????
maybe she just has regular stage fright! we'll never know!! and neither will karzarul!!!
#original#writeblogging#astielleblogging#astielle spoilers#asdjasdjk originally said 25 bc that's. what i'm working on.
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Prompt: Stony, animal transformation
I realized about halfway through writing this that you probably meant a spell or something but I wrote shifters instead and I really liked what I had so I kept going. Sorry it’s a lot crackier than you were probably expecting; you can blame @maguna-stxrk for that
As always, everything I write is also available on ao3
~
“No.”
The first time Tony met Steve Rogers, he was both delighted and irritated. Delighted because hey! Captain America is another cat shifter! And that means that Howard was wrong and Tony is, in fact, like Captain America (in some ways at least; in others, that remains to be proven).
“I won’t do it.”
And irritated because Captain America is another cat shifter.
“You can’t make me.”
Tony knows that there are cat shifters out there who are perfectly friendly and like being around other cats. He is not one of them. There are multiple reasons why he and Steve clashed on the helicarrier and only one of them is Loki’s staff. Tony’s breed is highly territorial and everything in his tower is his and he doesn’t want another cat in there rubbing up against his stuff. But there Fury is, insisting that the entire team move into the tower.
“I don’t want them there,” Tony says flatly. That’s not entirely true. He doesn’t really want any of them there but he’s willing to put up with them. The only one he really truly genuinely doesn’t want there is Steve.
It’s probably a good thing none of the rest of the team is here to hear him complaining about them. But, well, they should know better than to expect friendliness out of him. He’s not friendly. He’s majestic and aloof and not in the mood to have anyone else around to see him when he’s not being majestic and aloof.
Fury eyes him. Tony doesn’t know what kind of shifter he is—he keeps that kind of paperwork on actual paper, ew—but he wouldn’t be surprised if it’s something sneaky and devious like Fury himself (probably a snake. Tony hates snakes).
“Stark, the ways I could make you do what I want—”
“—are all against the Geneva Convention,” Tony finishes smoothly. In his reflection on the table, he realizes that the tuft of hair behind his ear isn’t lying flat. He licks the back of his hand and reaches up to smooth the hairs back down.
“Stark.”
“Fury.”
“We are running out of options—”
“Well, that sounds like a you problem.”
“—for Clint.”
Tony shuts up. Sighs. Glances through the window of the conference room where he can see Clint leaning against the wall, stuck in partial shift since Loki and the invasion. His golden tail is tucked between his legs, his ears are drooped, and he flinches like a kicked puppy (not an inaccurate description) every time someone walks by.
“How bad is it?” he asks.
“People don’t want him on the helicarrier,” Fury says. “He makes them nervous. His pack bonds were broken when Loki took him, and with Coulson—well.”
Yeah, that. Dog shifters like Clint rely on pack bonds, even those formed between non-dogs. Tony’s always been more of a loner so he can’t really imagine what Clint is going through but judging by the way Clint looks, he can guess it isn’t easy.
“They’ve all been briefed on what it’s like living with a cat, even Rogers, and they know about your idiosyncrasies in particular.”
And that’s the crux of the matter. “I don’t want him there,” Tony says quietly.
“He’s not the same breed—”
“But he’s got the same instincts!” He sighs frustratedly and almost runs his hand through his hair before he realizes how much that’ll mess up his hairstyle. His tail lashes agitatedly behind him, instincts urging him to claw, to bite, to protect his home from the invader. “Why can’t it just be Clint?”
“Because where Clint goes, Natasha goes. Besides, Clint needs the pack bonds, which means he needs the whole team.”
Tony hisses, crosses his arms, pouts. “Fine,” he says eventually. “But I don’t like it.”
And then, before Fury can feel too smug in his victory, he keeps aggressive eye contact and knocks Fury’s water glass off the table, darting away before he can hear more than the bellow of rage.
~
“I don’t want you here,” Tony says, ears laced back irritably. It’s the first time he’s come across Steve in the tower so far and of course the man (well, actually he’s shifted into his cat form right now) is lying in Tony’s favorite sunbeam. The nerve of some people.
The single eye that Tony can see slits open and stares at him for a long moment. In the next moment, a ripple comes over the cat and then Steve has partially shifted back, stretching lazily as he yawns. “Okay, Tony,” he agrees.
“You’re in my sunbeam.”
“Okay, Tony.”
“I want you out of it.”
“But it’s such a nice sunbeam.”
“It’s mine.”
“We could share it.”
Tony lets out an offended yowl. They can’t share it. That would defeat the purpose of it being his. Steve stares at him for a long moment and then stretches again, muscles rippling in interesting ways that make Tony want to knead them for—no. No kneading. No accepting the interloper.
“Come on, Tony. It’s sunny and I want to nap. We can share the sunbeam,” Steve says around another yawn before flopping over onto his side, still mostly human. Tony wants to bite his tail. But… he does want a nap. And this is favorite sunbeam. And he shouldn’t have to find another one since there’s no way Steve will be leaving this one (sadly Tony has not yet figured out the right strength the armor needs to move him).
He carefully lays down, putting several inches of space between him and Steve. Almost immediately, he can feel the effects of the warm sun on him, pulling him under into a light doze. It’s not enough to fall asleep entirely, not when he can still feel Steve at his front but then Steve starts to purr and oh, that’s kind of nice. He hesitantly lets out an answering purr of his own. Steve’s rumble grows louder and almost without meaning to, Tony finds his hands kneading the ground contentedly.
~
But that won’t stand. It can’t stand. He conceded ground on the sunbeam because it and Steve were warm and that was clearly a mistake because now Steve is standing in the kitchen, drinking coffee from Tony’s favorite coffeepot out of Tony’s favorite mug as he talks to Natasha.
And this injustice cannot stand!
“Mine,” he hisses, fingers shifting into extended claws, ready to tear into Steve for daring to drink from what clearly belongs to Tony.
At his hiss, Natasha’s skin ripples until she’s scaly and blending in with the cabinets. Smart of her to stay out of his way. Few things are worse than a territorial cat and even someone as lethal as Natasha would hesitate to face him when he’s like this, even though Steve gives her an amused look and says, “Really?”
Steve takes another sip out of the mug. Tony’s hiss turns into a full-throated growl. “Tony, you have to learn to share.”
“No.”
“Yes, you do.”
“Mine.”
“Yeah, you said that.” Steve doesn’t sound very impressed. Or even particularly intimidated, damn it.
“It’s my mug, it’s my favorite mug, you have to give it back,” Tony says, eyes tracking the mug as Steve lifts it to his lips again—wow, they looked kind of pink and pretty in the morning—no, focus. “Give it.”
“Alright,” Steve says agreeably and holds the mug out. “Here you go.”
Tony’s tail lashes and he hisses again. “You know I don’t like to be handed things.”
“Oh right,” Steve says, sounding remarkably unconcerned. “Too bad then. Guess you’re not getting your mug back.” He takes another sip from the mug—Tony’s mug.
“No,” Tony whines, drawing the word out so that it has at least eight additional syllables. He flops over onto the kitchen table, rolling around mostly so that he’s treating this situation with the hysteria it deserves but also so that he can scent mark the table, which currently smells of the rest of the team and not like him.
“Tony, stop being overdramatic,” Natasha orders, apparently deciding that she doesn’t need to blend in with the background anymore. “Steve, stop being a shit and give him back his mug.”
“No,” they both say petulantly.
She pulls out one of the many, many knives she keeps on her person. Tony hurriedly rolls off the table. Steve quickly puts the mug down and pulls out another one. Immediately, Tony darts to his mug—all his, no one else’s—and cradles it to his chest.
“That’s better,” Natasha says smugly and stalks out of the kitchen.
Tony waits until she’s gone and Steve has filled his new mug. Then, as Steve busies himself with cooking his breakfast, he slowly, cautiously reaches out and bats Steve’s mug off the counter. He gleefully sprints out of the kitchen to the sound of Steve’s outraged yowls, clutching his own mug close.
~
“Clint says you’ve been working too long,” Steve says, surprising Tony so much all the fur on his tail stands straight up.
“Fuck,” he spits. “I have a heart condition, you know.”
“Yeah,” Steve agrees like the asshole cat he is. “But I don’t think I’m going to give you a heart attack just by sneaking up on you. Not my fault you were in a zone.”
Tony grumbles wordlessly under his breath. It’s true that he’s been in a zone for the last couple hours or so, something that he achieves only through kneading or inventing, but that’s no reason for Clint to be concerned.
“Why do you care if Clint says I’ve been working too long?” he asks. Steve picks up one of his screwdrivers and spins it between his fingers before setting it back down. Tony immediately picks it up as well and rubs his cheek on it to cover it in his scent again. Steve shoots him a mischievous grin and promptly moves further away to do the same thing to a different screwdriver. Tony resigns himself to losing another couple of hours to scent marking everything once Steve is gone.
“I don’t,” Steve says, now rubbing up against one of the armors (and no, Tony is not thinking about how good Steve looks like that). “I thought we were doing a great job of ignoring each other. But he says it’s been more than twenty-four hours, which means it’s time for a break.”
“Says who?”
“Pepper, apparently.”
Tony winces. Okay, yeah, he can ignore pretty much everyone except for Pepper. She’s important.
“So you’re… what, here to drag me upstairs for dinner?”
Steve shakes his head and holds up a bag in his hand. “Thought I’d offer to split a bag of catnip with you.”
Huh.
“Huh,” Tony says out loud. He eyes it suspiciously. “It’s not laced with anything else, is it? You’re not going to take me to knock me out and take me to Medical.”
“Just pure catnip.” Steve opens the bag and Tony’s eyes dilate at the intoxicating scent. “Why, do you need to go to Medical?”
Tony thinks of the two cracked ribs he suffered during the battle yesterday that he’d wrapped himself. “Nope,” he says blithely. Steve’s eyes narrow but he doesn’t argue. “Are you going to judge me for straight up eating it?”
“Are you going to judge me for doing the same?”
“Fair,” he says and holds out a hand for the bag. Steve upends it and dumps half in Tony’s hand, watching without judgment as Tony stuffs half of it into his mouth.
And when Tony comes back from his catnip-induced high to finds himself fully shifted, Steve’s own shifted form wrapped so tightly around him that his short tabby fur is mingling with Tony’s longer white fur, there’s no judgment there either, just Steve purring and purring and purring.
~
“Why do you do it?” Tony quietly asks Steve one night. Some animated movie is playing on the screen but Tony doesn’t think anyone is actually paying attention to it. The rest of the team is busy sleeping together in a cuddle pile in their shifted forms, Clint’s golden retriever spooned by Thor’s panda, Bruce’s owl perched on top of Clint with his head tucked under his wing. He can’t spot Natasha’s chameleon but he can smell her so he knows she’s there somewhere. He and Steve are sitting apart from the rest of the team, studiously ignoring them. It had surprised him when Steve hadn’t gotten down there to join them—tabbies tend to be more social than other cats—and instead chosen to curl up next to him on the couch in his partial shift, but to his shock, he isn’t complaining about it.
Idly, Steve twines his tail around Tony’s twitching one and purrs, relaxing him until he’s a puddle on the couch. “Nat said it was a good way to get your attention.”
“What, picking a fight with me?”
“Tony.” Steve gives him a long look and then leans over to lick his ear. It should make Tony stiffen, run away, groom over that one spot until he no longer smells of Steve anymore. It doesn’t. It just makes his ear flick curiously. “I never wanted to fight with you.”
Oh.
Oh.
Suddenly, Tony’s brain is sifting through every interaction he and Steve have ever had, looking at them in a new light. Okay, and yeah, now that he’s thinking about it, he can see that this has all been Steve’s clumsy, well-intended attempt at courting him. And maybe he’s never really thought about Steve like that before but he’s thinking now and what he’s thinking is that when Steve isn’t stealing his things and laying in his favorite sunbeam, he actually really likes Steve.
“You’re not very good at this,” he informs Steve.
“Yeah, I’m getting that impression.”
“Natasha gave you bad advice.”
“I’m pretty sure she did it on purpose to stir up trouble.”
“She’s worse than either of us,” Tony agrees. “Now, hold still.”
“Wha—” He leans over Steve and licks at his ear, carefully grooming him. Steve purrs beneath him, eyes half-closed with pleasure. Tony’s own eyes drift shut as his heart beats a rhythm to the tune of mine, mine, mine.
~
“Hey, babe,” Tony says, coming up behind Steve. He drapes himself across Steve’s shoulders like the affectionate cat he is, giving a very sharp grin to the young socialite who has been holding onto Steve’s hand for the last minute. Doesn’t she know that that’s Tony’s? “I was wondering where you got off to.”
“Hey, sweetheart,” Steve replies, relaxing now that Tony is here. “Got stopped by Miss—I’m sorry, I’ve forgotten your name.”
Tony knows Steve well enough to know that that’s absolutely not the case. He’s just saying it to irritate her. But she doesn’t know that, especially because none of them are allowed to be in partial shift for tonight’s gala—Fury’s orders—and Steve’s shifter form is a closely guarded secret. So she doesn’t know that Steve’s just following his instincts as a cat. Tony does though, and he smothers his laugh in Steve’s shoulder.
“Whithers,” the girl says, irritation bleeding into her tone.
“Pleasure,” Tony says, making no attempt to hide the fact that he thinks it’s the opposite. He twines himself around Steve so that he can reach his lips for a quick kiss. “If you don’t mind, I have to borrow Steve here. Although, I really don’t care even if you do mind. See, he’s mine and I don’t really like it when people touch what’s mine.”
And then, before her face can do much more than register shock, he bats her champagne glass out of her hand.
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hihi, if is not much, can you please summarize what happened on Darknights Memories? Or maybe point to a summary of it? Cause i had the worst possible idea to take some time away from ak right around the event and now i go a little crazy with all the random lore i see from your posts that referenciate the event somehow.... also, maaaany thanks for your ak posts, theyre always a delight to read!!
Hi there!
Darknights Memoirs was an extremely lore-heavy event, closer to being Chapter 6.5 than an event really. While there are many, many, many things to cover, I'll try to summarize the most important parts.
this will be a rather long post
W is a young Sarkaz girl who killed the original W, a mercenary in Kazdel. The mercs the first W ran with all had a bounty on their heads, and W intended to collect them. Realizing there was no way she could defeat the original W's comrades (Hoederer and Ines) however, she joined up with them instead as the new W.
It is sacred tradition among Sarkaz that when you pick up a fallen Sarkaz warrior's weapon, you assume their identity, with all of what that entails. W killed the original W and took his weapon, therefore she is W now.
Ines is a psychic, while Hoederer is an extremely capable fighter. Though they and W don't get along too well, they stick together for years.
Some time later, W, Hoederer, and Ines are hired to protect a caravan coming from Rim Billiton, which supposedly unearthed a massive, ancient landship.
The three are attacked and nearly killed by elite Sarkaz soldiers working for the Kazdel leader, Theresis. They are rescued by the landship's owner, who is an extremely powerful Sarkaz Warrior. The Sarkaz Warrior turns out to be Theresa, the deposed King of Kazdel and Theresis' sister.
Theresa welcomes them into the landship, which she calls Rhodes Island. Her organization is called Babel, whose goal is the emancipation of the infected. W becomes fascinated by Theresa the moment she lays eyes on her, and begins following her around to see what the former King of Kazdel is really like.
Theresa is a goofball and can barely fix an automatic door even with Closure helping her. Her two assistants however, are much more serious. Kal'tsit runs Babel's medical mission and W sees her as a bitch. Doctor runs all tactical operations, and W, Ines, and Hoederer are terrified by them.
Ines describes Doctor as some terrifying kind of unknown being, one who cannot see other people as people. The entire Sarkaz Civil War is just some sick game for them, and all people are only chess pieces. At the end of the day, Doctor exists in their mind as the only "real" person, with everyone else just a piece to be packed away once the game's all over. Despite this however, Theresa vouches for them with absolute trust.
W also meets an 11 year old Amiya in raggedy clothes. She works as Kaltsit's assistant, but is otherwise just a little kid allowed to live inside the landship.
Some time later, having successfully escorted Babel through Kazdel, Hoederer says its time for them to leave. They part ways in decent terms, and Hoederer gets the mercs their next job as Theresis' agents.
Close to three years pass, in that time the Rhodes Island landship is attacked, Theresa is killed, the Doctor goes missing, and the Babel operators are scattered to the wind. W is not a part of these events.
The Usurper King of Kazdel dreams of a Kazdel becoming a politically powerful nation, but the only way for a war-torn country of the hated Sarkaz to be able to do that, would be if all its neighbors were brought down to its level. Hearing of an Infected uprising inside Ursus called Reunion, Theresis sends his men to aid them and bolster their numbers, hoping to stir up conflict in other nations.
Hoederer, Ines, and W work for Talulah, with Ines noting that Talulah isn't exactly Talulah. There's a shadow behind her that only Ines can see, and it terrifies her. This foreshadows the Deathless Black Snake of Chapter 8. Theresis also sends Garcin, a Sarkaz warrior who was part of the elites that nearly killed the three mercs years earlier before Theresa scared them off.
Patriot talks with the three Sarkaz, noting that he too mourns Theresa's passing, and wonders how the old country is doing. Decades before, Patriot took his whole clan out of Kazdel because he did not see a future in Kazdel's endless wars. Unfortunately for him, he ended up going to Ursus right when it was on the verge of becoming Terra's single biggest war machine.
Chernobog happens. Babel has reformed as Rhodes Island under Amiya's new leadership, and clashes with Talulah's Reunion among the ruins of the city. Seeing her chance to get revenge on Garcin and make herself Theresis' only link to Reunion, W secretly meets with her former Babel comrade Scout whose team has already been massacred by Reunion, and strikes a deal with him. Scout must go alone and kill Garcin and his entire squad by himself, and in exchange, W makes sure Doctor makes it out of the city alive.
Recognizing it was a suicide mission but also the only way Doctor could make it out of Chernobog when everything went to shit, Scout takes the deal. This is also why we see Scout make a farewell letter to the one Vanguard operator in Operational Intelligence, the same one who spies on Hellagur and Patriot's meeting.
Garcin sees Scout approaching his team and asks for the lone warrior's name to know who could possibly be this stupid. Scout gives it, but not before saying that he's already won.
Scout singlehandedly kills Theresis' entire elite Sarkaz team, including Garcin. A very heavily injured and dying Scout nearly kills Ines as well when she finds him making it out of the ruins, but she's saved by Hoederer who finally kills Scout. Hoederer calls Scout an old friend and tells him to rest easy. Later it is shown in Chapter 8 that W lies and takes the credit for killing Scout, possibly to impress Theresis, as Scout was a living legend in Kazdel and one of the last of its renowned stealth masters (dude was basically a ninja)
As seen in Chapter 1, W upholds her end of the deal and lets Doctor escape. Realizing that some of the Sarkaz warriors have betrayed her, Talulah suspects Ines and has her killed.
Hoederer is shaken and leaves Reunion, returning to Theresis who is now in Victoria. W is now the sole leader of Reunion's Sarkaz warriors, just like she planned.
Hoederer and his unnamed assistant (possibly Ines who faked her death) report to Theresis. Instead of killing him for running away, Theresis is satisfied enough by the trouble that Reunion caused and places Hoederer under house arrest with him inside their little Kazdel embassy in Victoria. We are also introduced to the main manager of Theresis' affairs, the Confessarius. The previous Confessarius (possibly the one who worked with Theresa) is Operator Shining.
Hoederer explains to their assistant that this is basically perfect, because now they can easily spy on Theresis' movements. Hoederer unveils a machine they can use to send messages to any of Kazdel's old communication towers, which W now has total control of.
The end of Darknights Memoirs shows that W has been acting as a triple agent (thus all the Revolver Ocelot jokes). She's double-crossing both Talulah and Theresis, because her heart and loyalty have been with Theresa all this time. Knowing that Theresis almost certainly was involved with his sister's death, W worked to make Theresis rely on her more and more, just so she can be close enough to kick the chair from under him when the moment is right.
We last see W in Chernobog helping a pair of kids survive in the ruins. One of them has picked up a sword from a dead Sarkaz warrior to defend herself with. W tells the young boy what it means to pick up a fallen Sarkaz’s weapon.
This ritual is very important to note, because the leading theory about the sole reason Rhodes Island is being led by a 14 year old girl, is that Amiya was the first one to reach Theresa and pick up her sword.
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Hi! I love everything that you write and heh I am a fan! 😄 tbh this is my first time requesting something on Tumblr! If you don't mind and if I am not being a bother...can you write about how the guys would react If MC suddenly starts making meme references? I don't know how I got the idea but I am REALLY curious. And love you! :D
Hiya! Tyvm for the kind words, and apologies that this took a while! I hope you have the chance to enjoy it regardless ❤️❤️❤️ Love you too, sweet pea! I promise to get to the next request you’ve sent ASAP~
Aight but this would be hilarious because the range of the reactions is just ungodly. I will be putting this under a cut after Napoleon so I don’t clog up everyone’s dash, but all the suitors are included below otherwise!
Comte is the one that recognizes a few, but didn’t really stay in modern times long enough to be as well-versed as a Gen Z kid might. Regardless he finds the wittiness and absolute chaotic fuckery to be delightful, and will 100% support the harmless nonsense. It never fails to get a laugh out of him
Mozart that first day be like: “Buzz off MC I hate you”
MC, because she likes swinging bats at wasps’ nests: “Well that’s not very cash money of you”
Mozart: ??????????
Comte, giggling in the bg like the secret fae he is
This one’s just because I’m petty, but after the events of Comte rt I just imagine them encountering Vlad again and MC’s just “I lived bitch.” while Comte is flipping him off behind her lkjahgkjhdsg
Comte @ Leo when he finds the latter under his desk: Had it not been for the laws of this land, I would have slaughtered you.
MC: wheezing from the hallway as she’s about to give him his letters
MC: So how was your day, honey?
Comte: Good, good--briefly had to go beastmode upon the punk that pilfered my lint roller
MC, biting her lip to keep from laughing: So does Leo still have his kneecaps?
Comte: for now.
Comte, @ literally anyone upsetting the MC: I won’t hesitate, bitch
Comte: Be careful with my emotional baggage, it’s designer
MC: What if I was evil and ran towards you at very fast speeds
Comte: My arms are strong, I would catch and hug you
Leo and Dazai are the ones that don’t have a single reference point but are filled with so much dumbass chaos energy that they just. Understand immediately???? Nobody knows how or why, but they just catch on so fast--adapt the language in a matter of weeks. Never underestimate the power of combined boredom, depression, and humor
I swear to god I just see MC taking them their Blanc/Rouge and being like “here you go sir, one enslaved moisture” and they just go fucking hog wild from day one. MC starts impersonating Theo when he leaves the room around Dazai, like fake deep voice “you all only hate me because you do not like me and I am mean to you. grow up.” Or like the MC meets a baby on her travels with Leo around town and she holds them and says v seriously and sagely “So you are Baby? I have heard tales of your exploits.” and Leo about loses his shit right there. They both think MC is the funniest person alive--they’ve never been more eager to throw a ring at someone in their entire life.
Also a bonus for my beloved Dazai:
MC, facing even the slightest inconvenience (like dropping her fork) in the most dramtic voice possible: Life is not daijoubu.
Dazai: wheezing
MC, after watching Theo turn down a woman at the bar in the meanest way possible: bro quit letting the darkness consume you u r scaring the hoes
Dazai, literally rolling around on the ground, half-drunk and dying:
MC, walking alongside Dazai and stopping to stare at her reflection in the River Seine. Dazai’s expecting some sad or twisted shit, since people often feel comfortable talking about those things around him, but instead she just: “Oh, it’s you. The source of all my problems.” And he about falls into the river from shock HAHAHA
At this point don’t be surprised if his next book is about an absolute madlad woman similar to MC
Napoleon finds it to be a delightful quirk more than anything? He doesn’t really understand it, but he finds it funny when they change their voice for effect or speak in exaggerated tones. If it’s just comprehensible enough for an outsider to understand--or Sebas gives him context--chances are it’ll send him into a laughing fit
For this one I just imagine MC singing that Ratatouille meme song obnoxiously bad while cooking, and Napoleon and Comte are just so wildly amused by it bc it makes zero sense and it’s only vaguely French at this point
MC @ Napoleon while they’re cooking brunch: Can I offer you a nice egg in these trying times?
MC, conflicted because she’s tired and wanted to sleep in but also got to see Napo’s cute sleeping face for a few hours: For my next stunt, I’ll wake up at 5AM on the day I can sleep in.
Sebas: Early to bed and early to rise makes a person healthy, wealthy, and wise
MC: early to bed and early to rise makes me a massive bitch
Napoleon: laughing in agreement
Isaac is the type to be bewildered and concerned at first (especially when he hears the more nihilistic ones hoOOOoooOO BOY) but eventually begins to understand it’s some bizarre attempt at humor (that hurts Zack baby). While some part of him laments that it reminds him of Dazai and he’s secretly jealous of how she and Dazai bond over it, he will sometimes join in the chaos when the mood strikes him and he’s feeling mischievous
Isaac: How are you feeling?
MC: Oh, I’m not
Isaac: seconds from dialing 911
Isaac: Are you okay?
MC: Oh yeah dw I just suffer from that syndrome where your neutral expression makes you look like you’re an angry serial killer
Isaac: say sike rn
Isaac, tutoring MC and correcting something:
MC, muttering while redoing it: The risk I took was calculated, but man am I bad at math.
Isaac: unable to help a laugh
One time MC was avoiding Isaac for fear of hurting his feelings and he just confronts her like:
Isaac: back by unpopular demand, me! What’s wrong, MC pls
MC was so hecking proud of him
Isaac, telling MC about a recent discovery he learned at uni from another professor: bones typically heal stronger after they’ve been broken--so long as they’re set properly, of course
MC, looking him dead in the eyes: So what you’re saying is that I should break every bone in my body until I become superhumanly powerful?
Isaac: please do not, no
Mozart and Jeanne are just. Totally lost. Why are you talking like that??? Why are you making “crab hands”???? They don’t understand. Maybe never will. They reach a point where they just kind of laugh and shake their heads, endeared by the oddity after they’re used to it and have determined it isn’t a threat/insult.
MC: It’s a cold and it’s a brooooken, Waluigi. Waaaaluigiiiii...waaaahluigi.....
Mozart: surprised, then starts snickering and playing along on the piano
Arthur, asking MC very personal questions out loud because he is an idiot sometimes: Soooo MC, are you a top or a bottom?
MC: I’m a threat. (If he asks a second time, the response will be “Wouldn’t you like to know, weatherboy.”)
Jeanne, fighting a smile:
MC, about to punch an asshole: Your free trial of being alive has ended
Jeanne, seconds from laughing for the first time in 100 years:
Also, because I genuinely can’t help myself. You know that knight meme like “Parry this you fucking casual.” I cannot stress enough that it is literally the personification of Jeanne’s entire character. I’m not even joking.
Arthur and Shakespeare are utterly fascinated by the rapid evolution of wordplay and the sheer hilarity. They will ask all about these so-called “memes” and ask for examples of them if MC can show them (either somehow accessing her phone or drawing them). MC draws Arthur the knife cat meme and he about a s c e n d s at the hilarity of it all, points and yells THEO IS HOLDING THE KNIFE. He is correct. They will be delighted and follow along eagerly, and--god forbid--will make their own based on late 19th century struggles.
Is this where Shakespeare got the idea for “What, you egg? stabs him” and “You are a saucy boy.”? I’m too scared to ask. Don’t even get me started on “The Fool jingled miserably across the floor.” That one is just too on the nose...
I can’t even imagine what would happen to Shakespeare if MC like translated vines and memes into Ye Olde English around him. Imagine she’s at one of those noble balls and hears rumors of these two guys living together and they’re so obviously gay and he says “And those gents w’re roommates.” And in the most false surprised tone ever MC just replies “oh mine own god, those gents w’re roommates.” Imagine having a wife that’s just as hilarious as you are and hits you with all the force of a bag of wet mice every time you speak in retaliation, he’s going into palpitations.
Every time Arthur does smth stupid MC just: “I Pretend I Do Not See It.”
Vincent is tickled pink by MC’s penchant for finding joy and/or amusement in nearly everything they do, and he smiles gently when he sees them muttering and laughing to themselves. He wants to be able to join them in what they love, but he has a harder time following along and understanding the darker humor sometimes. Mostly gets confused??? Please give him the easier ones to mimic and laugh when he tries--or just include him in your jokes MC. He’s babie your honor...
But he also. Will not. Stand any kind of self-deprecation or borderline verbal self-harm. He’s usually very easygoing and calm, but for whatever reason that stuff makes him go deathly quiet and upset.
MC, after something goes horribly wrong, hugging Vincent: Oh Vince, we really in it now
Vincent: giggling a little despite his worries, relaxing
MC: Theo stop simping for Vincent that’s my job
MC, when Theo leaves the room and she gets Vincent all to herself: The evil is defeated.
MC: And this is where I would put my will to live...if I h a d one!
Vincent: ;-;
MC: oh shit, oh fuck, I was only kidding Vincent wait
(MC was subsequently lectured and loved on for many hours)
Theo is conflicted because on the one hand, he loves to see you smiling and having fun. On the other, you’re clowning as hard as Dazai and Arthur and he can only handle so many monkeys in his circus. Most of the time he will roll his eyes and be the straight man of this comedy, but you might find him cracking a smile--or accidentally letting a chuckle slip past his lips now and again.
MC, after meeting Theo: I’m a nice person, but I’m about to start throwing rocks at people.
Theo, those first days: Oh? You’re approaching me? Instead of running away, you’re coming right to me?
MC: I can’t beat the shit out of you without getting closer.
Theo: Every time I ask MC to explain “vibe check” to me she hits me with some kind of improvised weapon
MC, after the “incident” (you know the one): This year, I lost my dear lover Theo
Theo, in the distance: QUIT TELLING EVERYONE I’M DEAD!
MC: ;-; sometimes I can still hear his voice...
Sebastian is last because oh boy. OH BOYYYYY I LOVE HIM. Okay so the way I see this happening with Sebastian is just. So wild. Because at first he’s t r y i n g so hard to be the proper butler man. He does not meme. But then he starts to drift closer to what Niles from The Nanny was, where he’ll quip and joke in private or when the situation is just beyond the amount of absurdity he can handle without making a snarky comment. Everyone in the house can’t fathom how Sebas and MC got so close so fast, but there are points where they’re just “Are they even speaking English anymore???” It’s 11 times funnier than normal because Sebas almost never smiles or laughs when memeing, the deadpan quality of his playing along sends MC every time
Has ABSOLUTELY said “HEY. PANINI HEAD. ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING TO ME???” jokingly when MC made a mistake in the kitchen. They laugh about it for y e a r s
MC: I can’t date someone who keeps a lamb as a pet, that’s so weird
Sebas, brushing Lotte in front of MC:
MC:
MC: Okay, I will make an exception because she looks very polite
MC and Sebas, fully aware of the fame some of the men will reach in modern times: We will watch your career with great interest.
(I s2g that’s like half of Sebas’ rt right there I’m crying)
Sebas rt with Lotte be like that 500 dollar Mareep meme: “sometimes a family can be just a boy, his gf, and their 500 dollar two foot tall Lotte”
#ikevamp#ikemen vampire#ikevamp meme#ikevamp headcanons#ikevamp hcs#ikevamp napoleon#ikevamp mozart#ikevamp leo#ikevamp leonardo#ikevamp arthur#ikevamp vincent#ikevamp isaac#ikevamp theo#ikevamp jean#ikevamp jeanne#ikevamp dazai#ikevamp shakespeare#ikevamp comte#ikevamp saint germain#ikevamp sebastian#can you tell I had way too much fun with this aksjhfkhsj#i am a degenerate memer I saw this ask and straight up went It's My T i m e.#though i hope this was a fun response for you love! i did my very best <333#tyty for the ask~#rambles#not incorrect quotes#mild profanity
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