#i am hoping the one tags that this was reblogged with is a misunderstanding

[cocoa-belle]

Personally, my favorite part of the finale was when they finally got a cat (delusional)

#Edit: Please for the love of god do not tag this with anything that might imply a ship of a FATHER and his DAUGHTER #that shit is vile #i am hoping the one tags that this was reblogged with is a misunderstanding #i still tried to get rid of that reblog but dont know if i properly blocked/hid it #this show somehow encouraged me to post for the first time in 5 years lol #buddy daddies #rei suwa #miri unasaka #coras art

[scoonsalicious]

Unwanted: Chapter 17, Unanswered - Pt. 1

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Avenger!Fem!Reader

Summary: When your FWB relationship with your best friend Bucky Barnes turns into something more, you couldn’t be happier. That is, however, until a new Avenger sets her sights on your super soldier and he inadvertently breaks your heart. You take on a mission you might not be prepared for to put some distance between the two of you and open yourself up to past traumas. Too bad the only one who can help you heal is the one person you can no longer trust.

Warnings: (For this part only; see Story Masterlist for general Warnings) Language, 🤮, really corny made up headlines that I am disproportionally proud of.

Word Count: 1.6k

Previously On...: The night of the gala, you had a heart-to-heart with Steve, and it seems like he understands that there will never be anything more between you than friendship. Bucky's off on a raid, and you're still sick as a dog.

A/N: Cue the sitcom-level misunderstandings and miscommunications! Onward toward shenanigans! Just kidding! It's gonna be angst!

NOTE! The tag list is a fickle bitch, so I'm not really going to be dealing with it anymore. If you want to be notified when I update, please enable notifications from my Blog page!

Banner By: The absolutely amazing @mrsbuckybarnes1917!

Thank you to all those who have been reading; if you like what you've read, likes, comments, and reblogs give me life, and I truly appreciate them, and you!

Taglist: (Sadly, tag list is closed; Tumblr will not let me add anyone new. If you want to be notified when I update, please Follow me for Notifications!) @jmeelee @cazellen @mrsbuckybarnes1917 @blackhawkfanatic @buckybarnessimpp @hayjat @capswife @itsteambarnes @marygoddessofmischief @sebastians-love @learisa @lethallyprotected @rabbitrabbit12321 @buckybarnesandmarvel @fanfictiongirl77 @calwitch @fantasyfootballchampion @selella @jackiehollanderr @wintercrows @sashaisready @missvelvetsstuff @angelbabyyy99 @keylimebeag @maybefoxysouls @vicmc624 @j23r23 @wintercrows @crist1216 @cjand10 @pattiemac1@les-sel @dottirose @winterslove1917 @harperkenobi @ivet4 @casey1-2007 @mrsevans90 @steeph-aniie @bean-bean2000 @beanbagbitch @peachiestevie @wintrsoldrluvr @shadowzena43

Tumblr will not let me directly tag the following: @marcswife21 @erelierraceala @jupiter-107 @doublejeon @hiqhkey @unaxv @brookeleclerc

As soon as you woke up the next morning, you were in the bathroom, throwing up once again. You were very much over this, thank you. Maybe you should go down to med bay and get checked out. You’d do it if you were still feeling poorly by the end of the day.

You went to the sink to rinse out your mouth and nearly jumped when you caught sight of yourself in the mirror– sleeping in your makeup had not done you any favors, that was obvious now. You looked like a rabid raccoon with the way your mascara had smeared around your eyes and your lipstick had smudged around your mouth. Grumbling to yourself, you hopped into the shower, hoping to wash away all traces of the trash panda that had taken you over down the drain. 

When you finished, you decided you had earned yourself a rest break, so you dressed in your comfiest of loungewear and flopped yourself back down on your bed. Picking  your phone, you checked to see if Bucky had texted you to let you know the raid had been successful, and he was safe once again.

Before you could check your messages, however, you were bombarded by a barrage of Google alerts for your name. When you’d taken on the position of Stark Industries CTO, you’d set up the alert for yourself, wanting to keep an eye on any and all news items that might pertain to you, just in case some nosey reporter decided to go digging for information about your past you’d rather have stayed buried. Thus far, you’d managed to keep yourself out of the spotlight.

All that seemed to have changed overnight. You were met with headline after ridiculous headline, each accompanied by photos of you and Steve, taken without your knowledge, from the night before:

“Love in the Lab? Captain America Spotted Getting Cozy with Stark Industries CTO!”

“Sizzling Speculation: Is Captain America Courting Stark Industries' Chief Techie?”

“Behind the Shield: Captain America's Covert Romance with Stark Industries' Techno Prodigy!”

“Avengers Assemble... for Love? Captain America Linked to Stark Industries' Brainiac!”

The photos themselves were ridiculous; carefully selected snapshots of innocuous moments cropped to look far more scandalous without proper context than they really were. Steve leaning in to speak in your ear with his hand on your elbow; you and Steve dancing; Steve holding you up when you almost fell, which looked a lot like he was about to lean in to kiss you; you and Steve looking cozy in conversation on the sofa; Steve’s hand at the small of your back as he led you out of the banquet room.  Fortunately, because of the full face of makeup you were wearing, you didn’t feel like you looked much like your everyday self, but it was still unmistakably you.

You scanned some of the articles, looking to see what sort of bullshit they’d come up with to sell this absolute garbage.

“‘I can’t say for sure that they were together,’ said one male guest at the gala, who asked to have his name withheld, ‘but there were many, many men who approached her throughout the evening, and she rebuffed every single one of them, except for the Captain!’”

“One of our sources reported that ‘100% without a doubt, Captain Rogers and Ms. (Y/L/N) left the gala together, and Captain Rogers couldn’t seem to keep his hands off of her! Let’s just say they left fairly early, and neither one seemed to find their way back to the party.’ Is it possible the two were engaging in a private celebration all their own?”

“An anonymous source inside Avengers’ Tower told our reporter that ‘Ms. (Y/L/N) has been involved with a certain super soldier for quite some time now. They tried to keep it secret for awhile, but everyone here knows they’re an item, and they are very much in love.’”

“Captain Rogers and Ms. (Y/L/N) were unavailable for comment. Perhaps they’ve yet to emerge from last night’s love nest.”

You tossed your phone onto your bed and let out an annoyed groan. Wonderful. Now you’d have to get a hold of the company’s PR team and spend the rest of the day coming up with a statement refuting the reports to give to the press. Oh well. At least you and Bucky could have a good laugh about it when he got home.

Oh shit– Bucky. There was a small chance he might come across one of these articles, and you wanted to give him a heads up before he had an opportunity to let his insecurities get the better of him and spiral. He had to know how ridiculous the entire situation was.

You picked your phone back up and hit the button to call him, but it went straight to voicemail. Odd, but not completely out of nowhere; he was probably somewhere with shitty service. You began speaking at the beep.

“Hey, baby. I just wanted to give you a heads up– I woke up to a string of garbage headlines implying that Steve and I are together, but I just want to assure you that is absolutely not the case. The entire thing is a fucking nightmare. We were both at the gala, and he kept me company for a little while. We just talked and danced a little bit, and he helped me out when I was feeling dizzy. Still sick, by the way. Threw up again this morning and I— sorry, off topic. Anyway, I did talk to him about his feelings for me, and reminded him that I only see him as a friend, like family. I think he took it well. No tears, at least, and he wasn’t mad. He said he just wants us both to be happy.” You paused for a minute as you considered Steve’s words from the night before. 

“I want us to be happy, too, Buck. I think I’m ready to try again when you get home, if you want. I miss you. Not just because you’re not here right now, but I miss us. I love you too much to waste any more time not being with you.  So, let’s do that, okay? Let’s start over. Stay safe and come back to me, Barnes. I love you.”

You ended the call and decided to text him, too, just to be on the safe side. A call might not be able to go through, but a text might.

>> Hey– just left you a voicemail. There’s a bunch of stories about me and Steve going around the internet that are all complete and total bullshit.

>> Gotta meet with PR to put out a statement. Wanted you to hear it from me before you saw it online or something.

>> I’m so sorry if it stresses you out– it’s stressing *me* out.

>> I hope you know that I would *never* betray you like that. 

>> Be safe, my love. I can’t wait for you to get home. I think I’m ready to try us again if you are.

You sat there, staring at your phone for several long minutes, as though you could will him to respond to you, but the text thread remained dormant. You tried calling him a few more times, but each call went straight to voicemail.

Meanwhile, it seemed like everyone you knew who wasn’t Bucky was trying to get in touch with you to ask you what the fuck was going on– and even more people you didn’t know; reception had left you several harried messages asking how you wanted to field requests for comment from at least two dozen reporters. Wanda was lamenting that she and Vision were away at the shore for the weekend and couldn’t be part of the excitement, and Nat swore that if she wasn’t horrifically hungover, she’d be in your room grilling you for information as you spoke. 

“There’s no information to grill for, Natty,” you assured her. You rubbed your forehead– now, in addition to your nausea and persistent fatigue, you had the pleasure of a pounding headache, as well. “We danced, like, three quarters of a song, I almost passed out, he helped me stay upright, and we talked. I told him there was never going to be anything more between us than friendship, and he walked me to my room so I wouldn’t faint on the way. He left me at my door.”

“What does Barnes think about all of this?” she asked you, and you could hear the smirk in her voice, hangover or not.

“I don’t know,” you admitted. “I tried calling him a hundred times to talk to him about it, but I keep getting sent straight to voicemail.”

“Well, I wouldn’t get too riled up about it,” Nat said. “There’s swaths of areas of Russia that don’t have cell service. Besides,” she added, “you’re not the one that can’t be trusted. If he doesn’t believe you, he’s got a lot of fucking nerve.”

You couldn’t disagree with that. “Yeah,” you sighed, “you’re right. I just wish I could reach him, at least to know he’s safe.”

“Eh, don’t worry about Barnes,” Nat said. “His head’s almost as hard as his arm. He’ll be fine.”

You had to begrudgingly agree to that, though his silence continued to unnerve you. You said your goodbyes to Nat and checked the time on your phone screen. Your meeting with the head of PR was in about fifteen minutes; might as well start heading down now. The sooner you could find a way out of this mess, the better.

<- Previous Chapter / Next Part ->

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky x you #bucky x reader #bucky fanfic #bucky barnes #bucky barnes fanfic #bucky x female reader #bucky barnes fic #bucky barnes fanfiction #james bucky buchanan barnes #james buchanan barnes #mcu bucky barnes #james barnes

[confessionspace]

Hi there. This is a space where you may confess whatever you feel you need to, because it can feel better when you get things off of your chest. At least, that's what is good for me personally. I hope it helps for you, too.

I created this blog because I could not find a blog that has this same premise- a place where you can submit general confessions, ones that don't follow a specific topic. I deeply apologize if there is a blog out there that is like this one, I did not mean to steal the idea.

In order to submit a confession, please use the ask box. You may do it anonymously or non-anonymously, it's up to you and whatever you feel comfortable with.

If you would like the reblogs turned off on a submission, please say so either in the beginning or end of the submission. Or alternatively, use the emoji "⭐" (a star) for no reblogs, again at the beginning or end of the submission. There will be no judgement for whatever you choose :]

If you have a concern with a post that you submitted, DM me and I will delete it for you or edit the reblog abilities as long as you did not submit it anonymously. I will try my best to listen, and I love you. <3

I hope you feel comfortable here. You can stay as long as you'd like :]

(extra little information about this place under the cut!)

Now that the more important details are out of the way, here are some smaller details, just in case you wanted to know :]

On every confession, I will add "Submitted (month) (day of month), (year)." in the answer.

I will not add anything extra, such as my opinion, tips, or personal experiences (exception mentioned later).

On every confession, I will add "confessions" "confession" "confess" in the tags.

Content warnings or trigger warnings will not be added in order to avoid misunderstandings. However, if requested within the replies, these warnings may be added. I will try my best to be mindful :] Also, warnings will be added if specifically listed within the submission.

Submissions will be queued! As of the time writing this, it will be 2 per day. This number may change, and may not be updated in this post.

Yes, you may submit an ask directly towards me. If you do, I will respond the best I can. These can be asked anonymously or non-anonymously.

However, please, please be aware that I do not give out the best advice and I am most definitely not the right person to be asking advice from. This blog is to simply get whatever you may need off your chest. That said, I will not be giving advice, and these asks (if directed towards me specifically) will be either deleted or ignored. I feel bad for doing this, but I believe its for the best.

I will answer these types of asks if they are a question about my blog, it's format, or a suggestion for my blog.

I kindly ask, in order to eliminate any confusion on my part, that you preface these types of asks either by stating it is for me directly, or by adding the emoji "🌕" (a full moon) at the beginning of end of the ask.

Thank you so much <3

One last thing: If I miss your submission, or if it takes a while for your submission to be answered, I apologize! I tend to be forgetful, and so I hope you can forgive me.

(P.S. ...thank you for reading all of this!)

#confessions #confession #confess

[awlumii]

be still, my heart.

# — pairing: kazuha x gn!reader

# — characters: gender neutral reader, kazuha, lumine, aether

# — summary: you're not really cut out for this whole "matchmaker" deal.

# — warnings: n/a

# — tags: long fic (~9k words), 3+1 format, fluff, angst, misunderstandings, hurt/comfort, (failed) matchmaking, aether & lumine are your best friends

# — notes: finally, finally, finally! i finished a commission! thank you so, so much again to the commissioner; your support means so, so much to me, especially at a time like this. i had a lot of fun writing this :D reblogs and reactions are greatly appreciated, and i really hope you all enjoy! 🥰

wanna join the tag list?

i.

"hey! do you mind if i sit here?"

in hindsight, you should've known right away that that was a stupid question to ask. the café is far from crowded at this time of day. there's a smattering of people sitting at tables and all of them are alone, and there's still an empty table here and there. if you were going to be subtle about wanting to sit near this guy, you should have chosen, say, the empty seat behind him. but thank your lucky stars; the man is kind enough to smile back at you and gesture to the seat across from him.

alright. one foot in the door.

the guy in question is none other than kaedehara kazuha, the english major who's famous for his insightful poetry and exceptional grades. everyone loves this guy, even professors outside of his department. he's not the most social, but he's open to anyone and everyone who happens across him, and it would appear that you are a part of that as well. it's a good thing, too — if he'd secretly been an asshole, you'd have turned tail immediately. of course, that'd only make you look more suspicious than you already do, but that's besides the point.

when you say that everyone loves kazuha, you mean everyone — and that includes your best friend lumine. it just so happens that kazuha is also the object of many people's affections — the perks of being popular, you figure. it came as a real shock to you that lumine was interested in him of all people; you could've sworn she was head over heels for ayaka, the endearing political science and dance double major that she spends a lot of time with. but instead, lumine came to you out of the blue one evening gushing about kazuha.

"wait, wait, wait. are you telling me that you have a crush on him?" you closed your book to gape at lumine, who was sitting across from you with her chin propped in her hand.

lumine nodded. "yeah. what, is that weird or something?"

you raised an eyebrow. "very." you stood up and circled the table to eye her closely. lumine watched you the entire time, her eyes curious. "did you get hurt anywhere? hit your head or something?"

"oh my god, you're ridiculous." lumine pushed you away lightly. "i just think he's... dreamy..?"

"you don't sound too sure about that."

"fuck off, you know i'm not good with this sort of thing." lumine flipped you off. "but you know who is? kazuha." when you scoffed and sat back in your seat, she sighed. "would you stop being an asshole and help me out?"

you opened your book and skimmed the words. "what now? are you gonna tell me to set you up with him or something?" when lumine didn't answer for a few seconds, you froze. you looked up at her with mild horror. "ohh no. fuck no, i am not playing matchmaker. do it yourself."

lumine didn't answer you at that. you knew very well why she didn't do these things herself. you're aware of her reputation on campus; she's not exactly the most popular, but those who do know her know that she can appear rather callous at times. lumine's rough exterior made it difficult for her to branch out, which was probably why she was asking you to begin with. once it occurred to you, you groaned. "fine." you conceded. "but you're doing all the hard work."

lumine's face brightened into a smile you don't think you've ever seen her wear before. "you're the best." she reached across the table and tapped your hand. "seriously."

meanwhile, you'd already started dreading the first interaction you were supposed to have with kazuha. "yeah, yeah," you muttered. "whatever."

because at the end of the day, who are you to question lumine? she's been by your side through thick and thin ever since middle school. she's got your back and you've got hers (and her brother's). you'd do just about anything for her if she asked, no matter how ridiculous it seems. although, you think as you settle in your new seat, this is pretty fucking ridiculous. playing matchmaker is stupid, especially for a guy like kazuha, who has probably had this kind of thing happen to him before. you can only hope that that's not the case.

you pull out a notebook and a pen to start idly writing when you notice that in front of you, kazuha's closed his book. when you look up, you see that he's actually staring at you. what for? "is something wrong?" you ask. "i can move if you want me to; i didn't mean to disturb you."

kazuha shakes his head, his platinum bangs brushing over his forehead. he has a streak of crimson in his hair, you notice. it's kind of cute. in fact, now that you're really looking at him, you can really see why people are so drawn to him. he's very attractive with his kind eyes and almost serene expression. you see his lips moving then and realize that he must have been saying something for a while. shit, were you checking him out just now? did he notice? it's not until his lips stop moving that you realize that you have no idea what he just said. "i'm sorry, i, uh... really should've got some coffee before i sat down. can you say that again?" you give him an apologetic smile in hopes that it'll make him forget that you obviously weren't listening just now.

kazuha actually smiles then. it seems like he's always doing that, really. your ears start to burn; he probably thinks you're ridiculous. "that's alright." he tilts his head to the side slightly and says your name. when you raise your brows, his smile grows. "i figured my guess was correct. you're friends with lumine, aren't you?"

oh, right! duh! how did you already forget your goal? stupid pretty boy and his stupid face. "ah, yeah," you reply. "she's my roommate too, actually."

"i see." kazuha pushes his book to the side and you follow the movement. is he trying to start conversation? this wasn't exactly how you saw this playing out, but hey, that saves you the trouble of coming up with a topic. "how long have you two known each other?"

perfect. you've got him hook, line, and sinker. with lumine as the topic of conversation, you'll have him smitten with her in no time. "since middle school," you say with a smile. "she and aether moved into the house beside mine and my mother tasked me with befriending them. the rest is history, i suppose."

kazuha looks endeared. "the two of them must have been a handful, no?"

you don't miss the playfulness in his tone. yeah, you can really see why people like him. you weren't exactly supposed to get caught in his little web, but here you were, charmed by the guy anyway. at kazuha's request, you divulge a few stories about your history with lumine. you cherry pick stories that are centered around her and leave out the more embarrassing parts (which is difficult since you guys were some embarrassing kids); when this is over, she better love you for talking her up like this.

at some point, kazuha excuses himself for a moment. while you wait, you pull out your phone and text the group chat that you have with lumine and aether.

[ me ]: you owe me your soul after this, bitch

[ lulu☆]: oh my god, did you actually find and talk to him

[ lulu☆]: i didn't think you'd actually do it, help

[ me ]: you asked, didn't you? and i said i would, so

[ lulu☆]: that's not

[ lulu☆]: well..

[ lulu☆]: okay look what did you tell him

[ me ]: don't worry, i didn't embarrass you

[ me ]: ...yet

[ aefer☆]: did you tell him about the time she nearly shit herself because a cat fell out a tree on her head

[ aefer☆]: cause that's funny

[ me ]: shit u're right, i should've mentioned that

[ me ]: but no.. i had to talk her up to impress him

[ aefer☆]: i would've told him. just sayin

[ lulu☆]: i know where you live, bitch

[ aefer☆]: what a coincidence, so do i

[ me ]: okay he's coming back, later losers ♡

[ aefer☆]: make sure to tell him the story!!

you chuckle at your phone before you put it away. when you look up, kazuha is seated in front of you with two cups on the table; one looks to be coffee, while the other seems to be tea — green tea from the smell of it. you blink in surprise and open your mouth, but before you can ask, kazuha explains: "you said you needed coffee and it just so happens that i needed a pick-me-up as well." he gestures to the coffee and gently eases it towards you. "so i took the liberty of getting some for you."

you shake your head quickly. you weren't supposed to be indebted to him! "y-you really shouldn't have!"

kazuha's expression falls a little and you swear you feel your heart tug. "was that too forward of me? my apologies, i..."

fuck, you can't have him looking so downcast. you try to cover up your flustered state with a grateful smile. "no, no, i mean-- thank you, really, but you're too kind. how much was it? at least let me pay you back."

"there's no need," he says. "i got it because i wanted to. and what better need to celebrate a new friend than over a drink they enjoy?"

you blink twice. once because you're surprised he considers you a friend already, and twice because if you're not mistaken, kazuha looks... sheepish. you stare at him just a moment longer and this time it's him who breaks eye contact as he moves to sip from his tea. confused, you drink from the coffee he got for you. the second the flavor hits your tongue, you make a noise of surprise. "this is.." you mutter.

"ah." kazuha sets down his own drink. "i'm sorry, i forgot to explain. i wasn't quite sure how you took your coffee, so i guessed. it's not bad, is it?" he actually looks worried. "should i take it back for you?"

"no, no, it's not bad, it's..." it's perfect, you think. this is exactly how you order your coffee every time. how did he guess this well? your order isn't exactly standard; it would take some serious thinking to get it down to a T. "it's great," you finish your sentence. "thank you so much."

relief settles on kazuha's face. "that's good." he sets his tea aside and keeps his attention on you. "would it be too forward of me to ask if you have any more stories to share? they're quite interesting."

right. shit. you're here to play matchmaker. this is the second time you've forgotten your goal. you put your coffee to the side and launch into another story that you'd thankfully lined up in case he wanted to keep the conversation going. kazuha listens attentively; his eyes are on you the entire time and his usual smile grows wider each time you giggle when you remember something funny.

he's very easy to talk to, you think. you wouldn't mind doing this over and over. this is a win-win situation for you and lumine; she'll get a boyfriend, and you'll have a new friend.

(you won't realize it just yet, but the skip in your pulse each time kazuha laughs is far from platonic.)

ii.

it's nice to have a new addition to the group — really, it is — but does he really need to be invited everywhere?

lately, whenever you, aether, and lumine go out as a trio, kazuha ends up receiving an invite as well. sometimes he gets the invite from you, but every other time, it seems to be coming from lumine. it's a little irritating, honestly. not because kazuha is annoying, no — he's the furthest thing from it. if anything, he's the most soothing person you've ever known (amongst other things). no, what's annoying is that lumine seems to be taking charge of this whole matchmaking thing herself, which leaves you without an objective. because really, if she's gonna make sure he's around all the time, then what did she have you get involved for?

take now, for example. the four of you are in an arcade celebrating the end of midterm season, and when you entered, you decided that you'd be split into pairs — you with aether, and lumine with kazuha. you and aether complained when lumine suggested bringing kazuha along on the grounds that the two of you would be third wheeling. so she suggested splitting into groups.

for some reason, the initial pairing put you with kazuha. not like you're one to complain — you love the time you spend with him. but seeing as how you spend a couple hours every day chatting him up in that café, you think you can do without him for a few hours today. you said as much when the first pairs were decided on.

"aw, you'll hurt his feelings!" aether said with a chuckle. "don't you wanna be around your new friend for a while?"

before you spoke, you stole a peek at kazuha who looked... a little hurt. you thought you were imagining it since he was smiling along with the joke, but it didn't quite reach his eyes. regret started to claw at your throat and you tried to take it back, but kazuha spoke before you could.

"i'm more than happy to spend time with lumine," he said. "we don't spend much time together as it is."

your fingers slow to a stop on the game you're playing. do kazuha and lumine really not spend time together? that was the whole reason you spent time with him — to get him more motivated to speak to her in the first place. was he still too shy to speak to her? no, you think as you pick up the game. he wouldn't have jumped at the opportunity to be with her tonight if he was really shy. besides, shy just isn't kazuha's character; he has moments where he's a little hesitant, but he's certainly not the shy type.

then why weren't they together more often? you feel confused for a moment, but then it hits you — you've been taking up kazuha's time, not her.

there's no reason why you should be in that café for so long with kazuha. your mission was simple: get him interested in lumine, get them to hang out, and then watch the rest unfold. but instead, you've been hogging all his time, talking about topics that had nothing to do with this whole matchmaking situation to begin with.

you swear lowly when your character dies on screen. if anyone is to blame for the lack of progress being made, it's kazuha. he's the one who's always asking off-topic questions when you meet up. specifically, he would coax you into talking about yourself somehow. how he does that, you're not sure, but you hate it. he's making this difficult!

oh, your mind just can't stop running. kazuha's making everything so complicated! why did he look so dejected when he said you wanted to hang with someone else? why does he want to know so much about you? why does he smile so brightly when he sees you in passing? why isn't he sticking to lumine's side? is he even going to make a move? is that why he jumped at the chance to do so today? why didn't he do so earlier, and why in the fuck does your chest hurt right now?!

"if you hold the controls any harder, i think they're gonna break."

aether's voice suddenly appears to your left, startling you. you let go of the controls in your shock and soon after, a fluorescent red 'game over' appears on the screen. you glare at him and punch his arm. "you asshole, you made me lose the game." you hiss.

aether's lips curve into a cheeky smile. "actually, you were already losing. you kinda suck at this game."

"i don't, i just..." you sigh and look at the screen. "i was just thinking about something else."

"now are you making an excuse, or were you really distracted this whole time?" aether asks. when you struggle to come up with a response, he rests a hand on your shoulder. you don't look at him, though. you're too busy trying to figure out why your throat feels like it's closing. aether calls your name once, then twice. you still don't answer. just when you think he's given up, he drapes an arm over your shoulder and pulls you to him. "how about we go get something to drink?" he finally suggests. "it's been a while."

you look at him and for a split second notice how blurry he is. you blink a few times and it goes away. weird. you still can't really form words, so you nod and allow aether to whisk you away from your game.

once you're seated with your drink, you let your mind go off the rails. why does the thought of kazuha asking lumine out bother you so much? that's literally why you became friends with him in the first place, no? you're supposed to be relieved — once they start dating, you can wash your hands of this whole ordeal and be on your merry way. at least, that's the plan... right?

"we came out here to stop thinking," aether speaks up. "but you look like you're still studying. what're you thinking so hard about?"

you open your mouth to explain yourself but quickly shut it. you can't just tell lumine's brother that you're having second thoughts about getting her a boyfriend! best friends or not, his first priority is his sister's happiness; if you back out, you'll definitely have to face aether's wrath later. yet still, you want nothing more than to unload these confusing emotions onto aether's shoulders — you need to explain yourself or else you feel like you're going to pop.

you feel crazy. are you crazy? you think you're going crazy. and dammit, why does your throat still feel so tight?

after a few seconds pass, you decide to bite the bullet. you hate to toss aether in the middle like this, but who else are you going to tell this to? kazuha? yeah, fuck that. "it's... about kazuha." you rasp. you take a sip of your drink.

for some reason, aether sits up a bit straighter. you don't recognize the look he's giving you. maybe intrigued is the right word? "yeah?" he leans his chin in his hand. "what about him?"

"i think... i think i fucked up somewhere." you feel a little lighter now that you've gotten that out. that's the heart of the problem... you think.

"how? he's spending time with lumine, isn't he?"

"yeah, now he is. didn't you hear him earlier? he said that they didn't spend much time together."

"aaaand..?"

"what do you mean and? they're supposed to be together all the time!" you scoff. "i tell him about her like, every day, and yet they're still so stiff around each other whenever we all meet up!" a thought occurs to you, then. the four of you hung out all the time, but each time, you were in a group. "wait, do they never actually hang out outside of our outings?"

aether's frowning a little at you. surely he understands what you're talking about, right? "you think that that's weird?" he asks.

you throw your hands up in frustration. "yes, that's weird! god, why am i even doing this if he's just gonna hang out with me instead of--" you shut your mouth.

intrusive thoughts are funny little things. soft as they may be, they leave ripples in your mind. and those ripples grow bigger and bigger as they spread, reaching the far corners of your brain until they become all you can think about. yours are pretty out there: what if i tripped and fell right now? or what if i'm reading the stop signal wrong and i walk into traffic by accident? they make you reconsider your every move, make you see reality in a different light. these particular thoughts, however, send you spiraling.

what if kazuha likes me? becomes: what if i like kazuha? which eventually turns into: i do like kazuha.

"oh." you mumble. "shit."

"i feel like you just had a revelation without me, and i'm feeling very out of the loop right now." aether gestures between the two of you. "are we on the same page right now?"

"god, i hope not." you groan and push your face into your hands. this is the fucking worst. it's supposed to be the worst, anyway — for some reason, you feel the urge to smile. feelings are strange like that, huh? you realize that you have a big crush on the guy you're supposed to be setting your best friend up with and yet you want to smile — you want to take a breath of fresh air, like this is a good thing. "aether, i'm a horrible fucking person." you laugh derisively. "the fucking worst."

aether, who'd been sitting across from you this whole time, moves to sit next to you. when you finally look at him, you see that he's frowning, his face marred by confusion and worry. "as much as we like to joke about it, i can't read your mind. you need to tell me what's up."

"...promise you won't hate me?"

"why would i ever?" aether looks at you like you slapped him. dork.

you smile, but it doesn't last very long. "i just, uh... realized something."

"would you quit being suspenseful and get to the point?"

fine. you decide to let it all out. "i like kazuha, aether. there. i like him a fucking lot. he's really pretty and he's kind, he spends time with me every day, even when he's busy; he holds my hand sometimes when we talk and i swear, i feel like i can fucking fly whenever he does, and i..." you take a deep breath. "i'm a fucking moron because i'm letting down lumine. she's supposed to be with him, not me. i have to let this go."

aether's silent. you feel your throat tighten up again and immediately recognize the feeling — you want to fucking cry, dammit. you're a terrible fucking friend, and that's exactly what aether's about to say--

"you need to tell her," he says seriously. "and you need to do it now before things get worse."

that's... not the reaction you were expecting. "aren't you mad at me? i-i'm supposed to be helping out your sister but i'm--"

"falling in love." aether finishes for you. you try to deny it, but he's not hearing it. "trust me, it'll get to that point soon enough. you can't wait until then -- you have to say something. please," he implores you, "for your own good."

you want to say that you shouldn't do anything to benefit yourself, not when you've fucked up so majorly, but you hold your tongue. you really don't know what to do now. how are you supposed to look kazuha in the face after this? you were always enjoying yourself when you were around him, but now you understand that you enjoyed yourself far too much. he's supposed to be with lumine and he's--

a sudden call of your name has you snapping your head up. in front of you is none other than kazuha and lumine.

speak of the fucking devil and he will appear.

the two of them are wearing matching smiles and carrying four plushies from the prize counter. they look so... happy. all at once, you cram your raging emotions into a box and shove them into the furthest corner of your mind. that can wait -- what's important now is these two lovebirds and the rest of the evening. you ease away from aether and sit up straighter, plastering a friendly smile on your face. "did you two kids have fun?" you ask.

(beside you, aether's frown deepens.)

"i learned quite a few things while playing with lumine tonight." kazuha is the first to speak. he adjusts the two plushies in his arms and looks over to lumine. "the most important thing being that she's amazing at video games."

lumine sniffs proudly. "he's the one who didn't believe me when i said i would kick his ass at anything we tried. aether and i used to play games like these all the time when we were kids. but," she nudges kazuha's shoulder affectionately, "you put up a good fight. i respect the effort, but better luck next time."

"i'll keep that in mind." kazuha chuckles.

next time, he said. there's going to be a next time. they're going to go on a date. you giggle softly despite yourself. now's not the time. not when they look so happy. you feel aether pinch your arm, but you swat him away subtly. "that's good to hear." you say. "is there something else you guys wanna do tonight?" you hold your breath, hoping they say no.

fortunately (or unfortunately), aether cuts in. "actually, lumine, wait." he doesn't say anything else after that, but judging by lumine's expression, you wonder if they're doing that twin communication thing. you've always wondered what that's like, having another half. aether and lumine are always sharing information over everyone's heads -- sometimes, you wish they'd include you.

lumine nods after a second. they must have finished their psychic conversation. "actually, aether and i have to head back." she shrugs one shoulder. "something came up."

kazuha's brows knit with concern. "is everything alright?"

"yeah, aether has to take a shit or something. i don't know." lumine is suddenly hit in the face with a wadded up napkin while you poorly stifle a laugh. she doesn't retaliate the same way she normally would, but she does shoot aether a glare that could probably melt steel beams. "anyway," she smooths her expression over and looks straight at you. "are you two gonna be okay alone? because this is kind of urgent."

wait. shit. fuck, no, no, no! she can't leave you with kazuha! why is she trying to leave you with kazuha?!

words fail you in this moment; you open and close your mouth a few times as you struggle to find the right words. there's so much going on in your head; you could say yes and have some alone time with kazuha, but lumine is supposed to be the one having alone time with kazuha, not you! if you say no, then kazuha might look like a kicked puppy again, and you don't want to see him looking so sad, dammit! but then again, if you say yes, you could interrogate him and find out why he and lumine haven't hung out often, right? but--

"we should be fine." kazuha speaks before you can, leaving you floored. "i'll see them home when we're finished here."

well, there goes your internal conflict. it's too late to back out now. you put on a brave face and hope that neither lumine nor aether can see through it. "i'll see if i can keep that winning streak for you, lumine." you say.

kazuha chuckles quietly. "is that a challenge i hear?"

god... damn him. "it sure is." you play along and give him a grin.

all your years of friendship must have meant nothing, because lumine doesn't pick up on your silent distress signals. she and aether say quick goodbyes before turning and heading home, leaving you with kazuha. once the twins are gone, you hop to your feet. since there's no one here to save you, you may as well dive in head first. "so," you say with a sigh, "which game do you want to play first?"

rather than suggest a game, kazuha shakes his head. "we don't have to play a game if you don't want to." like always, he tilts his head to the side just a little. he's so endearing. "you don't seem like you want to play anymore. am i correct?"

"i..." you deflate a little. "yeah, you're right. i'm sorry. i don't want to bore you or anything, but i just don't have it in me anymore."

thankfully, kazuha doesn't pry. he pushes one of the plushies in your direction. you'd actually forgotten he was holding it. it's a little penguin with a frog hat on — absolutely adorable. the other penguin that he's holding has a dinosaur hat. were they a matching set?

you don't take the plushy right away, which prompts kazuha to speak. he shifts his stance a little bit and... maybe it's just the trick of the light — it is quite dark in here — but you think you can see his cheeks turning color. "this is for you," he says. in an uncharacteristic moment of shyness, he suddenly backtracks. "only if you want it, of course. i won't push it on you, but... i figured that you might like it."

you blink a few times. you kick yourself and reach out to take the penguin — it's soft to the touch and the perfect size for hugging. you hold the thing gingerly in your arms and stare at it for a moment. did he really get this for you? or did he get this for lumine? maybe she didn't want it and that's why he's giving it to you; yeah, that has to be it. but just to be sure, you look up at kazuha, hoping you're not smiling as widely as you think you are. "you really didn't have to. why're you so nice to me, huh?"

you foolishly asked that as a joke, but this time, you're absolutely sure kazuha's face starts to redden. it's hidden by the lights of the games around you, but even in this dim lighting, you know what you saw. he doesn't look too fazed by it, though. "must there be a reason?" he asks in return.

you know what? no. some things are better left unexplained. you shake your head and hug the penguin close. "thank you, kazuha." you think you're going to explode. "really. i love it."

"i'm glad," kazuha says. and boy, does he look the part. the relief on his face is palpable. for someone with such an even expression, he sure is easy to read when he's nervous. what he's nervous about, you have no idea. but he's also really fucking cute. he shifts on his feet and breaks eye contact after a beat of silence. "why don't we get you home?" he suggests. "it's probably late at night."

ah. well, there goes your excitement. he just wants to get rid of you now, huh? for someone who's not supposed to like him, you sure do have pretty intense mood swings when he's involved. you agree and the two of you head outside and start towards your home.

the walk home is slow and silent, and kazuha's walking close by your side. you'd think of something to say, but it's a very comfortable silence — with you hugging the plushie that he got for you in one arm, you don't see any reason to speak. it's not like this is abnormal, anyway; he's seen you home many times before. you hazard a glance at kazuha after a moment to find scarlet eyes already focused on you. you look away in a hurry, as does he. weird.

even weirder still, you feel kazuha's fingers knock against yours. are you two really walking that close together? you flinch away from his touch like he'd burned you. "i'm sorry." he apologizes right away.

"no, it's okay." you reassure him. to make him believe you, you put your hand back where it was. it's not until you do that you realize that that wasn't the first time your hands have touched. you soon find that that wasn't the last, either; once more, kazuha's fingers knock against yours. you don't move away this time, instead opting to knock back. you swear you can hear him chuckle when you do, but maybe you're just imagining things.

a few more seconds pass and you feel kazuha's fingers intertwining with yours, and for a second, your mind completely stops. tonight was moving so fast — first you realize that you're a goner for kazuha, then he gifts you a plushie, and then he's holding your hand? what is happening right now? and why aren't you pulling away?

you should pull away, you have to, but... you can't bring yourself to. your fingers lock with kazuha's one by one until eventually, you're completely holding his hand. he's so warm, you think. he always is. the walk home remains silent, and you and kazuha exchange playful squeezes every so often.

(to make yourself feel better, you tell yourself that this is just you training him for when he starts dating lumine. maybe that will ease your conscience.)

iii.

so you're in love with kazuha. big fucking surprise there.

you quickly realized that you were doomed from the moment you met. not that it was love at first sight, but he charmed you right away. he was the one who had you hook, line, and sinker from the very start. it doesn't help that he became a permanent addition to your friend group; you're forced to face him and your feelings just about every single day. you're reminded every day of how much of a weakling you are when it comes to him. you hold his hand, you share food with him, you sleep with the plushie he gave you, you borrow his sweaters... you're a fucking mess.

it's agonizing. you were supposed to be helping lumine and kazuha get together, but you grew too greedy and inserted yourself into a position that wasn't meant for you. you try every day to rationalize with yourself and aay that the two of you are just really close friends, but friends don't think about each other the way you think about him. even worse was that you couldn't tell lumine about it — the only person who knew of your feelings was aether, and he gave you shit about it whenever he could.

come clean, he says. stop lying to yourself, he says. to that, you have to laugh. if it were that easy to rid yourself of this situation, you would've done it months ago.

there's only one solution to this problem, and that's to avoid kazuha like the plague.

it makes sense, right? just ignore it until it goes away? because there's no other way for you to get over this. you're starting to dream about kazuha; about kissing him, about holding him in your arms, about being with him. so maybe if you see him less, the thoughts will go away.

it starts with you not going to the café anymore. when kazuha texted you and asked why you hadn't been showing up, you brushed it off with a lie, saying that you found a place with better coffee. he asked what the place was called, but you left him on read. (a very adult move.)

then, you stopped making eye contact whenever you passed by him. it was hard for a few days since you missed seeing his eyes light up whenever he saw you, but you had to be strong. you're better than this, dammit. don't think about how dejected he might look when he realizes that you're avoiding him — don't you do it!

after that, you stopped going out with the twins if kazuha was going. every time they suggest something, your first question is if he is going to be there. if the answer is yes, you make up an excuse to stay home. lumine was really fucking upset with you for bailing because of some petty argument that she thought you two had, but when she pieced it together that you weren't going to budge, she gave up trying. (man, you wish it was just some argument — disputes can be solved. not feelings.)

lastly, you straight up walked away from him if he approached you. you wouldn't just ignore his presence, of course — you're an asshole, not a monster — but if he tried to make conversation, you would cut it short and hightail it out of there.

"it's been a few weeks since we've talked." kazuha sounded so pleased when he managed to stop you one day. you didn't know why you let him catch up to you, but once he got to you, you couldn't just up and leave. so you decided to hear him out. "have you been well?"

no, you wanted to say. not in the fucking slightest. but you're grown — fake it 'till you make it, baby. you nodded and gave him your best smile. "yeah. better than usual, actually."

you watched kazuha's face fall ever so slightly. he was quick to fix his mistake; his usual smile returned to his face in an instant. if you were anyone else, you wouldn't have noticed. but you noticed. you'll always notice. "i see." he said. "that's good to hear."

because you didn't want to be subject to his quickly declining mood, you excused yourself. "i gotta run, but i'll see you some other time, okay?" you said. (like a liar.)

anyone could have seen the glimmer of hope that appeared in kazuha's eyes. "of course. be safe, please." he gave you a little wave as you took off.

after about three weeks of not seeing kazuha, you think yourself to be cured. huzzah, it worked! sure, you're still daydreaming about him, but it's not as vivid if you can't see him every day! he hasn't texted you or approached you outside in a couple days which, admittedly, stung like hell, but it's for the better. kazuha can focus on lumine without you in the way, and you can move on with your life.

you spend most of your time in the library these days. lumine's been super pissed at you lately — probably because of the whole kazuha thing, but you're not sure why she wants you to spend time with him so badly. to avoid potential conflict, you hole yourself up in here. being surrounded by books (reminds you of kazuha) makes you feel at peace; it's so quiet in here, which makes it easy to focus on work (which in turn helps you stop thinking about kazuha).

the library is empty today, save for a few people seated at the tables on the other side of the building. you're standing in front of a bookshelf skimming through a book when you suddenly hear a soft whisper of your name. thinking it's aether, you prepare a shitty excuse for why you're not home, but when you see who it is, your blood goes cold.

it's kazuha. you haven't seen him in three whole weeks.

you swallow back your apprehension as best you can. "hey, what's up?" you try to remain as casual as possible. "do you need one of the books behind me?"

kazuha's brows draw in a little. "are you asking that so you can make your escape?" his comment is a little pointed — so pointed, in fact, that you visibly wince and give yourself away. he sighs when you do. "i was hoping that i wouldn't be correct. have i done something wrong?"

that's just like him — straight to the point. you flounder for an answer. "of course not." you shake your head.

"then is it alright if i ask why you've been avoiding me?"

"what? why would i do that?" your eyes slowly drift to the side. you're not too fond of all the attention you're getting right now.

"you can never make eye contact when you're hiding something." kazuha walks closer to you, but you keep your eyes on something else. "you won't even look at me. i must have done something to cause this."

no, no, no, he's blaming himself! stop him! you force yourself to make eye contact with him, but wither under his stare. you look away again and your face starts to grow hot. "you didn't do anything, kazuha," you say honestly. "i promise. "i've just been busy, that's all."

kazuha doesn't back down. "i've heard from lumine that you've been spending time here instead of at your home. she's worried about you. she-- i'm worried about you."

"don't do that," you blurt. you're starting to breathe a little faster, you notice. "stop worrying about me. you shouldn't." kazuha starts to retort, but you cut him off with a shake of your head. you turn around and put the book back in it's place. "look, i need to go. please move."

you never wanted to be so forceful with him — so cold. but what else can you do when cornered like this? he's desperate and you can tell, but so are you. you don't want to confront your feelings anymore. you just can't. you're tired of feeling like a shitty person for being in love. this is the only way you can make it stop.

kazuha doesn't make it easy for you, though. when you try to move away, he steps closer, invading your space. "if there's something wrong, you would tell me, right?" his voice is so soft, so mellow. it's like a hug, which you could really use right about now. normally, you'd get that from kazuha, but well... you don't answer him, nor do you look at him. kazuha then takes your chin in his fingers and gently makes you face him. "would you please look at me?"

your eyes land on him and it's like the world's faded away. there's so much rolling off of him at once; unease, comfort, and suspicion all hit you at the same time, and it overwhelms you. you don't like how tender this moment feels. he's so close — too close. you can smell maple and cedar, and not because you're wearing his sweater (which you didn't realize until just now). autumnal eyes threaten to take you under and you feel your eyes start to sting. "kazuha, let go." your voice wavers and your heart throbs. "please."

you wish you could read his mind. his eyes search your face, though you're not sure what for. the seconds of silence that tick by are excruciating, but when they finally come to an end, kazuha lets you go. his hand falls to his side and he steps away with a bitter smile. "i'm sorry. i fear i may have made the problem worse."

that's putting it lightly. you step around him wordlessly, but before you can get too far, kazuha catches your hand in his, stopping you. you don't turn around. you can't.

"i miss you." kazuha speaks at a whisper, a volume so low that you shouldn't have been able to hear it. but you heard it. whenever he speaks, you listen with your entire being.

he lets you go after a few more seconds and you take the opportunity to grab what stuff you have and make a beeline for the exit. you fumble for the doorknob on the way out; your vision is too blurred by tears for you to make it out properly. you manage, and you set off towards home, where you're going to ignore lumine yet again and mope in your room.

(and as you cry to yourself that evening, you can only think of the way you saw kazuha's eyes fall to your lips as he held you in place. you think of how badly you wanted to confess everything to him and clear the air for good, but you also remember what you were tasked with. this is for the better, you tell yourself. this is for the better.)

iv.

kazuha should have never agreed to this.

honestly, what was he thinking? why did he allow lumine to play matchmaker? he has two legs and a functioning mouth; he could have walked up to you and started a conversation himself, no problem. things would have been so much easier if he had just swallowed his pride and spoken to you like a normal adult. but no, he just had to go along with this idea.

in retrospect, it seemed like a good idea. but perhaps he's been reading too many novels. meeting through a mutual friend is a lovely concept, but it would appear that it only works in fictional worlds. he'd hoped to just spend time with you through lumine, but somehow, you got the wrong idea and started trying to push him onto her, which made no sense. and not only did it not make sense, but it completely backfired — you're absolutely miserable now and so is he.

kazuha's not an idiot. he knows that you have feelings for him. and the only reason he knows is because you seemingly reciprocated when he approached you romantically. he thought he was being obvious — giving you a plushie, holding your hand, lending you his sweaters, resting his head on your shoulder during movie nights... you accepted it all. he wasn't being subtle at all, right?

so then how? how on earth did things end up like this? he asks lumine as much when they meet up a few mornings later.

"they've been ignoring me too," lumine grumbles, "you aren't special."

right, because that helps. kazuha buries his hand in his hair. "every time i try to talk to them, they manage to slip through my fingers."

lumine frowns at him. "are they actually slipping away, or are you letting them get away?" he must take too long to answer, because she tuts at him. "if this is because you don't want to overwhelm them, then you're being stupid. they're overwhelming themself with this whole... thing, okay?"

but he's too much for you, he wants to say. every time he comes around you, you look about ready to explode. you look so torn, and he hates it. he just wants you to smile at him again. "at the very least, i want to repair our friendship." he sighs. it hurts to even think about keeping you at a distance, but if that's what it takes for you to come back, then... "they cried on their way out of the library the other day."

lumine's expression falls. he's never seen her look so saddened before. "yeah, i heard."

"you heard?"

"our walls may be thick, but our doors aren't." she grimaces. "the sniffing told me all i needed to know."

there's a tense silence. neither of them know what to say because in the end, this is their fault. this whole misunderstanding and your pain? that's on them. if they want to solve this--

"you have to confess." lumine voices kazuha's thoughts out loud. "that's literally the only way this is gonna stop."

while kazuha acknowledges that she's correct, there's two ways that this could go. you would either: a) accept his confession, start dating him, get married someday, and live happily ever after, or b) turn him down and hate him for causing this whole misunderstanding, leaving the two of you to be miserable forever. either way, life as he knows it now is going to end — how it ends is purely up to you.

kazuha agrees to do so and asks lumine for your whereabouts. despite not being on talking terms for a while, she still knows where you are. (it's how we care for each other, she explains.) as he walks, he lets his head fill with thoughts of you.

unsurprisingly, you're all he's been thinking about. you're all he ever thinks about, really. he thinks about the way you tried to hide your joy when he gave you that plushie in the arcade that day; the way you flustered every time he "jokingly" kissed your hand; the way you seemed to melt into his clothes whenever you wore them; the way you seemed to read his mind whenever you couldn't help but stare at him, the way you would smile when he felt warm at having been caught staring back.

he huffs a laugh to himself. it's hilarious how after all that, you still thought that he liked lumine instead of you. honestly; you two have nearly kissed several times, and yet you think he liked someone else? your mind will never cease to amaze him, beautiful and strange as it is.

kazuha comes to a halt under a canopy of trees with bright red leaves. the change in seasons has turned the campus into a beautiful landscape; all of the usual resting spots were less inhabited by others, which made them the perfect escape for people like him. you're seated on a bench underneath those trees with your nose buried in a book and, if he squints, he thinks you're wearing his scarf. you're exactly where lumine said you would be. perfect.

deciding not to wait until his nerves get the best of him, kazuha approaches you and sits a little ways away from you on the bench. right away, he notices the way you go completely still, your shoulders visibly stiffening. he sighs internally. how should he speak in order to not scare you away? it's a miracle you haven't just up and walked off, actually.

"...why are you here, kazuha?" you ask flatly. you sound like you're holding something back. "what do you want?"

"you're not going to leave?" he asks in return.

you shake your head. "i don't see the point in running from you anymore."

so you finally admit that you were running. it'd be humorous if it didn't sting so bad. "you're going to listen to what i have to say?" he asks again for good measure. when you nod again, kazuha takes a steadying breath. he just needs to get it out there. he needs to let you know. it shouldn't be hard — it's not hard. he may as well have told you already with the way he treats you. just say it.

and say it he does. "i'm in love with you."

immediately, you rise to your feet. kazuha balls one hand into a fist as he fights the urge to pull you back down. if you want to leave, then so be it. he told you, and that's all he can do; whether or not you believe him is purely up to you. you stay standing for a while, and he can see you clenching and unclenching your fists over and over, but eventually, you sit back down. you rest your book to the side and put a hand over your eyes.

"are you alright?" kazuha dares to ask.

you laugh humorlessly. "of course not. you're not supposed to like me, kazuha. please don't do this." you start to bounce your leg rapidly. "take it back, or... or something. just don't get my hopes up."

he scoots closer to you cautiously. when you don't back away, he keeps moving until your shoulders are touching. he calls your name softly and you shake your head sharply. "stop saying my name like that. would you stop being so... so nice to me? i'm gonna get the wrong idea."

"you're not getting the wrong idea," kazuha keeps his voice low. "i'm telling you the truth. and the truth is that i'm in love with you." he rests his hand over your free hand on the bench. "is that wrong of me?"

"yes! i mean-- no? ugh, fuck you." you sniff and swipe your hand over your face. kazuha tries to get a good look at you, but you turn your head away, keeping him from doing so.

"i'm in the wrong." you finally say after a while. "i was supposed to-- you and lumine were supposed to be a thing, not-- not us. but i... fuck," you pause for a second to sniff. "i fell in love with you anyways, and i just feel like a terrible person, okay? i ignored you because i wanted to just... stop feeling like shit, i guess. i wanted to forget about you and this stupid deal that i made with lumine and--"

kazuha taps the underside of your chin twice. you take a moment to collect yourself and slowly turn to look at him. "what do you want?" you ask. it's spoken harshly, but there's no bite to your words.

"did you forget?" he asks.

"wh-- no. god, no. i could never." you give him a wry smile. "unfortunately, you're all i think about, so no. you didn't let me forget. thanks for that, by the way."

one more time, kazuha thinks. just one more. "i love you." he says.

your lashes flutter and your face warms. "i love you too, kazuha. but-- mmh--"

that's all kazuha needed to hear. he leans in and kisses you, silencing your thoughts. he hears you sigh into the kiss and you start to kiss back, but he pulls away slightly before you can. "can you say it again?" he murmurs against your lips. "one more time."

your breathing is shaky, but you speak anyways. "i love you."

kazuha kisses you again. "once more, petal. please."

"you're so greedy," you chuckle shakily. "i lov-- mmf--" kazuha kisses you again but you pull back with a laugh. "at least let me finish my sentence--"

"no." kazuha drinks in your laugh when he kisses you this time, his skin singing at the contact. he's wanted to this for so long -- wanted to kiss you silly and hear you laugh. you're all he's wanted this whole time, and he's not going to pass up this opportunity to let you know. each time you try to speak, kazuha kisses you to shut you up. and each time, it makes you smile wider. you kiss until you can't anymore — you're both smiling much too wide.

"do you still think you're not supposed to be with me?" he asks cheekily.

your face doesn't fall at his question. that spark that your eyes held a few weeks prior is back and brighter than before. you look renewed — you're glowing. while basking in your glow, kazuha wonders if he is, too. you lean in and kiss him quick, resting your forehead on his when you pull away. "don't ask stupid questions." you chuckle. "i said i loved you, didn't i?"

kazuha hums. "and i said the same. so what now?"

"i dunno." you sigh and lean away. "we tell lumine, i guess?"

he squeezes your hand. "about us?"

you nod. "about us."

(when you get home and tell her later, she yells: "fucking finally!" and pulls you in for a hug.)

✦ *bows* and that's what i call a job well done.

✦ seriously, i hope you guys liked it 🥰

#genshin impact x reader #genshin x reader #kaedehara kazuha x reader #kazuha x reader #[ ✍️🏽 — scribbles! ]

[labellefleur-sauvage]

hello! i hope you're doing well and i just wanted to say that i love all of your work! you have such a beautiful way with words and insane talent <333

i was also wondering whether you'd be up for writing something torturously heartbreaking for nessian??? i know it would never happen bc they're obsessed with each other and there would never be anyone else but i think a cheating thing would be interesting to read 😭 like if cassian cheats? or then (although they are going to live ETERNALLY TOGETHER), maybe something where one of them dies? like cassian's reaction to nesta's death or vice versa?

much love to you!!! 🩷🩷🩷

This is so so kind, thank you so much!

I will be the first to admit: I am a huge wimp. A big baby. I cannot handle too much angst or sadness in books, fics, any media, frankly. At this time, I don’t see myself writing anything angsty or toxic for any couple, unless there was some massive twist or misunderstanding involved.

BUT I fully understand most people don’t feel the same as me and want those angsty, toxic feels. I asked some of my Nessian friends for fic recs and this is what they gave me!

Can’t Help It by @moodymelanist. Honestly, her entire Nessian catalog is impressive and wonderful so here’s her entire Nessian masterlist. Also worth mentioning Paint It Red, especially if you’re in the mood for major character death.

Daughterofthesea on AO3 has some soft and angsty fics.

Also on AO3, theteaqueen is also very good for Nessian angst

Wonderland by @c-e-d-dreamer in which Nesta breaks the mating bond with Cassian

Somewhere by @thewayshedreamed for an ongoing toxic Modern AU

Finally, It Looks as Though You’re Letting Go by @xtaketwox. An ongoing soulmates AU fic tagged as “you’re going to suffer but you’re going to be happy about it” on AO3.

If I missed anyone or anyone else has fic recommendations or wants to shout out their own works, please feel free to comment and reblog!

#i hope this is ok anon! #i am truly the worst person to ask for anything besides a brief chapter of angst #i cry looking at pics of pets at my local humane society #i do not have the emotional capability to handle anything toxic or angsty or super mean #fic recs #nessian fics #nessian fic recs

[wearingaberetinparis]

Snippet Upcoming Jily AO3 AU

@wonderfullyweirdd this one is for you and I hope it will make you feel so much better after your terrible day. All credits for this idea go to @annabtg who wrote a wonderful fic called AO3 Is Down (read it if you haven't yet). All encouragement of me pursuing this goes to (again) @annabtg, @annasghosts and @practicecourts! Thank you, sweethearts! Anyway, I am naming this oneshot after yet another Taylor Swift song, because I can: everybody is a sexy baby, and i'm a monster on a hill.

andytonks OMG!!!!!! prongs updated Mischief Managed and do.not.call.me.lilyflower dropped a new AU oneshot at practically the same time! *Shocked emoji* Did I die and go to heaven?! *Pinching herself.*

alice.in.wonderland It’s supposed to be Friday the 13th, right? I was preparing myself for the absolute worst and now my two absolute faves prongs and do.not.call.me.lilyflower updated on the same day?! I could cry actual tears of joy! The only thing that would be better is if they would actually collab.

andytonks OMG!!!!!!!!! I would pay to see them paired up. @notmaryberry work your magic with next month's challenge will you?

notmaryberry I shall take it under advisement. *Thinking emoji* Joking, on it already. *Grinning emoji* They both signed up for the Valentine's one. I mean... could it be any more perfect?! *Heart emoji* But also: nooooooooo!!!!!! I’ve got to bloody work late today and there is no way I’ll be able to read anything before I get home tonight and it’s been such a shitty day that I fear I might not be able to stay up past ten. Why do I have to be a functioning adult while I could read fanfiction all day…? andytonks Babe!!!!!!! That’s so sad!!!!!! But also... you are evil. Pairing them up for Valentine’s… Just let me know where I transfer the money I owe you. *Winking emoji* notmaryberry *Mwah* It's completely free of charge, love. It’s not as if I wouldn’t benefit here immensely myself. I think, actually, that I’m doing the entire community a service. padfoot Look at you ladies scheming without me… I taught you well alice.in.wonderland I feel like Charlie’s Angels. We should do the whole: “Hi Charlie!” whenever you pop up. padfoot *Shudders* I’m so not a Charlie If you’d seen me in real life you’d think I’m too cool for fandom any way Alas My best mate dragged me down notmaryberry @padfoot do you reckon we can make prongs and do.not.call.me.lilyflower pairing up for the V-day challenge look like a coincidence?! padfoot Ha! prongs would immediately suspect anyone who would do such a thing of foul play You know how he gets when anyone mentions she-who-must-not-be-named around him notmaryberry Oh well, he can just voice his complaint and I’ll calm him down. I’m not a teacher for nothing. I’ve got experience with dramatic temper tantrums! (Had to resolve four today, can you believe I teach in secondary?!) Plus, I can just say that I wanted to have two of our most esteemed writers working together, so the fandom could enjoy the magic they create. I wouldn’t even be lying. *High five emoji*

andytonks I’m so confused as to why they don’t like each other?! Like… They are both insanely talented, write for the same fandom and they just full on ignore the other. I’ve never seen either so much as tag the other or reblog the other’s works and the fandom is SMALL!!!!!!

notmaryberry Oh, I keep forgetting that you weren’t around for *the incident*.

alice.in.wonderland Those were dark, dark, dark days… I think it’s tragic to be honest. It’s been… two years by now, I think, right?

notmaryberry Roughly, I think. It's so stupid. It was clearly a misunderstanding. If only @snake.boy hadn’t butted in and made prongs seem as if he was antagonising her…

andytonks Oh, right! Didn’t prongs say that he didn’t like AUs or something?! Or that he thought that non-magical fics were a waste of time?!

padfoot Gross misinterpretation of his words He said he didn’t like *writing* non-magical fic He never said he doesn't like reading it Plus he never once mentioned do.not.call.me.lilyflower That was @snake.boy tagging her in his post and causing hellfire to nearly break up the fandom as a whole

notmaryberry True! Of course, everyone butted in with their two cents and then prongs and do.not.call.me.lilyflower were on opposite ends of a conflict that neither of them started. They’ve been rivals ever since.

alice.in.wonderland I wouldn’t say rivals so much. They just pretend the other doesn’t exist.

padfoot Believe me He knows she exists all too well He seethes in his room over her talents and complains about her imagery, similes and metaphors I caught him reading her works so many times He even has a separate AO3 account where he bookmarks her fics and leaves comments on them He says he’s merely investigating what she’s up to but who is he kidding?! As if this isn’t fanfiction we’re talking about

alice.in.wonderland Hey! Don’t act as if fic isn’t what we actually live and breathe for!

padfoot Course it is It's just that I like prongs to think he’s pathetic for it all Remember that he doesn’t know I’m IN the fandom and that I read his and her work as religiously as some might read LOTR or the Bible

andytonks Honestly, I love you, but you’re such a prick.

padfoot that’s what most people that know me say Except for my mother She would never have said the first

#everybody is a sexy baby and i'm a monster on a hill #upcoming fic #jily ao3 au

[rilli-luci]

What does Pro/Shipper Mean?

I’m only typing this cause I had to explain to a friend why the label of pro/shipper is so controversial and I like to act on the benefit of the doubt that some people may not be informed so under the cut I’m gonna explain this and why there’s so 

I’m not really gonna debate the morality of it but I am going to just explain the general gist of the term and WHY a lot of people don’t like the word and I hope it helps some people when it comes to fandom labels.

Reblog if you want but please do not come to my inbox or IMs to debate this topic. This is an information post ONLY. Not a discussion one.

Warning before you read, this post will cover Problematic Ships with triggering topics. They are mentioned for the sake of information. But I don’t want to unintentionally trigger anyone.

Going to start with the fact that this word has changed meaning over time. When I first got into tumblr rp and heard this term, it meant a completely different thing than it does now. And I think this is important cause when words change meaning and people just may not know, it can lead to a lot of misunderstandings that could be avoided if people just y’know...communicated. But that’s besides the point.

Pro/shipper at some point USED to mean one who supports a specific ship or shipping in general.

I’m currently very much so still in my Owl House hyperfixation so I will be using ships from this fandom to better explain the point. So if you are a big fan of Goldric (Hunter x Edric) then you were considered a pro/shipper for that ship. The opposite of this would be an Anti-Shipper as you did not like this ship. There was nothing generally wrong with being pro or anti as long as the ship was not problematic. Most of the discourse came from Antis sorta flooding the tags of the ships either due to their pettiness or tumblr’s shitty tagging system.

HOWEVER that is not the case now. Roughly around the 2010s (I like to think it happened somewhere around 2012-2015) the word changed its meaning.

That’s because people who supported what are called Problematic Ships.

These are your ships (with examples) that ignore canon sexualities of one or both parties of a ship (such as Hunter x Amity), are in/cest (Such as Lilith x Eda),have inappropriate age differences (such as any ship regarding a minor and an adult), those that display abusive dynamics ( such as Lilith x Belos ), etc. Ships that generally will make the average fan feel uncomfortable.

Some people who highly enjoyed problematic ships started using the term Pro/Shipper as a way to either defend their ships or justify their reasons as to why they were okay.

At this point the meaning has changed.

Pro/shipper NOW means one who supports a ship or shipping deemed problematic and/or believes in the freedom to create and consume fanworks with such elements.

Now content with toxic or abusive dynamics is more of a gray area, they’ve sorta always existed even before fandom culture became what it is today and it of course isn’t just purely tied to ships (For example, Hunter and Belos have this dynamic but are HOPEFULLY not a ship). Its all dependent on if the person making the content genuinely ships it or is making content for some other purpose that’s far less problematic and its complicated and definitely a case by case basis. But for the previous problematic examples, well there’s really no reason to ship in/cest now is there? Its just pretty gross. 

So when a person says “I’m a pro/shipper” today while there is a good chance they’re very much so meaning the first definition, it may be automatically assumed by others that they mean they are the latter. And for those other people, they may not have the energy or time to invest in meeting this person and learning what they think a pro/shipper is and if they still stand by that label if they know the connotations it presents. Its generally safer to them to just call it a lost and not interact.

So if you read this and  you still think this label is for you, then this is the sort of risk you are taking by taking on this label. Does it suck? Maybe, depending on who you are. But like I said, this post is meant to inform people and I’ve done just that.

Words have power now and days, more than people know. Especially when it comes to labels.  And when words change meaning like this one did, then I feel its important that everyone gets on the same page.

#psa #fandom culture #fandom terminology #tw: incest mention #tw: abuse mention #tw: toxic relationships #tw: proship #tw: abusive dynamics mention #tw: homophobia mention #tw: lesbiphobia mention #tw: problematic ships #I think I tagged everything but if I didn't please tell me

[roguemonsterfucker]

I thought the harassment over the Thrawn thing had ended, but I was wrong so now I feel forced to defend myself. All people involved have either been anonymous or blocked me, so I can't explain myself directly to them but I believe this stemmed from a misunderstanding.

I will own up to being rude in my responses, but I hope y'all will understand that I felt very attacked from the very first message directed at me.

Get ready for an image heavy post.

It all stated with me seeing this post in the Thrawn tags:

I saw a few other Thrawn fans making their own posts, indirectly responding to this criticism, so I went ahead and made two separate posts of my own.

Below is the first one, which responded to the OP's take on Thrawn's loyalty to his people, the Chiss. I hope you can see clearly from this post that I am myself a defender of Thrawn in many ways and very much a fan of his.

The second post is where the trouble started. I see now that my wording, taken without the context of the original Anti Thrawn post, looks like an attack on Thrawn fans. That was not my intent, though I see now how it looks that way. I was simply explaining my own view of calling myself a "Thrawn Apologist."

Now he's where the trouble really started. Someone very active in the Thrawn tags and who has followed my Thrawn blog for at least a week or so reblogged that with an addition that I took as very aggressive and patronizing. I felt very attacked by the response's wording and it didn't help that the person called me "hon," which I have always found a very upsetting thing to be called. I know it is sometimes meant in a kind way, but the combonation of the aggressive tone of the message and the patronizing "hon" put me on the defensive.

That said, I personally don't think my respond was rude or anything initially. I simply asked what they meant by their message, because I wasn't really sure what they were taking issue with, and in the tags put as kind of a message as possible to ask them not to call me hon in the future.

I should add that my pinned post says this: "I'm nonbinary. Please don't call me a guy or a girl or any other gendered term."

And I have had to previously ask people not to call me "girlie" and other gendered terms because I am a trans person and those terms trigger dysphoria for me.

Now here is where I did become rude and I freely admit I was very short with this person. I hope you can understand why from the above explanation that I was on the defensive and already a little upset.

At this point, I didn't realize that what this person's actual issue was was in fact that they felt I was attacking "Thrawn Apologists" because they apparently didn't see the initial Anti Thrawn post that I was responding to.

I didn't understand why anyone would argue over the semantics of "warlord" versus "war criminal" and I was becoming a bit distressed because I knew I had seen someone call Thrawn a warlord somewhere. I hadn't just pulled that word out of my rear end. And after doing further research, I found that I hadn't in fact made it up. It's Legends (not canon) now, but "Warlord" was in fact a title given by the Emperor to some of his military commanders, so whether Thrawn meets the definition of our world's warlord or not is a moot point.

Regardless, this is were the hateful messages began. The below message came from someone that clearly follows the person that took issue with my use of "warlord."

This person blocked me before I could respond and explain that the reason I didn't like being called "hon" was gender dysphoria.

I did start to think at this point that maybe this was over more than just me calling Thrawn a warlord so I made a post, to which the original person arguing with me responded.

But apparently that wasn't enough for them to seek out context or ask or give me the benefit of the doubt. And still at this point, I didn't realize that this person and others were under the impression that I was insulting Thrawn Apologists.

For the below screenshot, I have no idea why my main's username is listed as the account because it's definitely on my thrawn sideblog. Regardless, I recieved a reply that I responded to via screenshoting because I didn't want to reply with my main in the comments. Keep in mind, I still had no idea that people were upset that I was insulting Thrawn Apologists, though I was starting to get the sense that it was more than just semantics of whether he was a warlord or not.

And it was after this message that the person I was arguing with apparently decided I was making fun of them and they blocked me and made their own rant post about me, which is when I realized the issue wasn't whether Thrawn was a warlord or not, it was that they felt I was insulting Thrawn Apologists. But of course, they blocked me at that point so I couldn't defend myself.

Firstly, I think it's clear that they never saw my additional posts explaining that "warlord" was a title within the star wars universe. And secondly... I'm very confused as to why they call me an "idol." I made it clear in many of my posts on that blog that I never intended for people to follow it. It was a place for me to collect Thrawn posts for myself.

Also, they seem to think I was making fun of them with my response above, which wasn't my intent though I do see how they would feel that way. As I said, I was already on the defensive because of the aggressive wording of their very first message to me and it was only made worse by followers of theirs calling me a bitch.

I understand that I was rude in many of my responses. I own up to that. But I don't think that justifies some of the hateful messages I have been sent because this person reblogged my post without understanding that it was not intended to insult fans of Thrawn.

I have been sent many hateful messages to my thrawn blog now because of this. I thought it was over after this person posted their final rant about me but it has continued.

So... I just wanted to post this so that I could get it off my chest.

I know I was rude and I apologize. But I hope it's clear that my intent was misunderstood. Perhaps that is my own fault. But I still don't feel it justifies messages like this:

I never intended to attack apologists. It was a response to a hateful message in the Thrawn tags calling apologists annoying. I was laughing at the idea of being called an apologist myself, not at the idea of apologists existing.

I am sorry to those hurt by my words. I wish I could explain myself and apologize directly but I will respect the block and not go around it.

Thanks to anyone who made it reading this far. If you saw my previous posts from last night, you'll know yesterday was rough in many ways. And the weeks ahead will be rougher. I'm in really bad shape (unrelated to the above, though I can't say it helped =/) and I have appreciated all the kind messages I've received.

I won't be around tumblr much. I really should avoid it completely while I heal. My queue posts 5 times a day, so if you don't see any posts outside of those then I'm not back yet.

I'm sorry I didn't pick someone to take over the confessions blog. I can't deal with that right now. But rest assured that the queue is full for quite a while and when I'm able, I'll try to figure out how to keep that blog alive somehow.

Thank you all.

#long post #suicide cw

[sergeifyodorov]

I'm pretty sure I'm the anon that got deleted (honestly: a valid move on your part) but I just saw your post about it and YEAH. I'm a chronic tags reader so while I'm sure my tone in the original ask came off as annoying and/or generally not worth answering, I was going off of actual tags I had seen people put in their reblogs of the polls! there were a lot of people dissecting their vote in the vein of "x is better looking but y is hotter!" people were being open about misunderstanding the poll on purpose!

there's definitely room to debate "do the people leaving the tags actually think y is hotter if they voted for x who they said was prettier?" but you can see someone laying bare their personal read on hot vs. other kinds of attractive (pretty or handsome or whatever) in the notes of a majority of the polls. also, the word pretty specifically got tossed around a lot! anyway this ask is more annoying than the first one, sorry and also thank you for running the polls xx

JDSKFHSFHSKJFHSDKJHFDKSJDHFKDSH okay the first one was mildly annoying but not in an Annoying way (i hope you understand)(no hard feelings in fact possibly negative hard feelings... we've all been there !!!! i might be there right now !!!!) but no now that you've elaborated i totally get it and agree. ultimately Hotness is kind of really subjective especially because a lot of ppl voting in these polls aren't into men KSJDFHKSJDFHSKD [And Who Am I To Deny You Clicking A Fun Little Button Here On Connor McDavid's Internet] but willfully ignoring the explicit terms for your meow meow.... sigh. alas.

#asks #okay this is the LAST one last one #also it wasn't personal anon at ALL there's. frankly far too many things in my inbox... i love receiving asks but i hate having asks. yknow #i just tend to delete the ones that i have like... the least potential to constructively/entertainingly respond to? #like if i can tell my response is going to be Annoying or if i just don't have anything to add and it wouldn't be a fun thing to just post #then in it goes. oftentimes tho i just spend a lot of time ... leaving them there... waiting... (for something reasonable to say) #all that 2 say. mwah!

[aquaquadrant]

nature’s productions - chapter six

Rated T for: Strong language, violence, mild blood/injury

Summary: Three years after the disaster at Jurassic World, Claire Dearing and Owen Grady are contracted for a mission to save as many dinosaurs as possible from the impending eruption on Isla Nublar. But when they arrive, they experience an unexpected complication; six teenagers who were left stranded on the island when the park closed.

Surviving has left the campers scarred in more ways than one, and  they’re pretty sure that their would-be rescuers have less than good intentions. But with a volcanic eruption at their heels, they’ll do whatever it takes to get a ride home- and save the dinosaurs while they’re at it, because that’s kind of their thing.

A/N: Ohhh y’all have no idea how excited I am for these next couple chapters. It’s bout to get REAL GOOD. Hope you enjoy, please reblog/comment if you do! - Aqua

(Read on A03 for full tags and previous chapters)

~*~

chapter six - instinct

~*~

They make it back to the truck in record time.

With all six of them on high alert, there’s no chance of them getting snuck up on, and Darius retraces their steps fairly easily. Brooklynn’s willing to bet that Ben also memorized the path from the truck, even if subconsciously, based on the way he keeps anticipating all their turns. It’s good that more than one of them knows the truck’s location, in case they have to split up.

And if Brooklynn knows Darius, his plan is definitely going to involve them splitting up at some point.

Luckily, the truck hasn’t been disturbed in their absence, and they quickly pile inside. Yaz manages to climb up unaided, which is a promising sign that her ankle is starting to recover from all the recent activity. Sammy and Kenji tuck themselves on either side of her, and Ben wastes no time moving towards the front. He leans over the seats to grab the mirror, snapping it off its mount, before ducking into the back again. Only when he sits against the back of the seats, holding the mirror up to look at the reflection, does Brooklynn realize what he’s doing; he’s giving himself a way to keep watch through the front windows without being spotted, himself.

With that in mind, Brooklynn positions herself in the very back of the truck, to keep an ear out by the canvas flaps. She’s starting to get used to the ambient noises on the ship- the groaning metal and rushing ocean- and she’s confident she’ll hear if someone approaches them from behind. With her listening and Ben keeping watch, they should be safe here for the moment.

Darius is the last one inside, looking everyone else over with an approving nod as he settles on the floor. Brooklynn can instantly tell from his expression that he’s already thinking about their next move, fingers twitching with nervous energy as he figures out the best way to articulate his plan. But at the same time, he’s still on edge from… well, everything.

They all are, truth be told. Running from dinosaurs is nothing new to them, but the volcano was a completely different story. It’s humbling in the worst of ways to confront a natural disaster like that, something that no force on earth could have any hope of stopping. Add that on top of their conflicted feelings about leaving the island, hiding aboard a ship full of dangerous criminals, and the unexpected falling out with Claire’s group, and it’s a recipe for a total breakdown.

Part of Brooklynn understood where Owen was coming from, she really did. But who is he to try and tell them not to help? Who is he to think that he knows them, knows what they are and aren’t capable of? It was ignorant at best and insulting at worst, but either way, it was more than simply treating them like helpless children. This was a drastic misunderstanding of who they are and what they stand for. What they fight for. And if he isn’t willing to do what it takes, then they can’t trust him.

It’s as simple as that.

But Brooklynn doesn’t want to face it all, not yet. So when Darius finally opens his mouth to speak, she gently pulls him into a hug. “Just take a minute,” she murmurs. Then she peeks over his shoulder at the others and adds, “All of us.”

She can feel Darius’s surprise in the way he goes still, but it doesn’t take long for him to relax into the embrace. He lets out a soft breath, the tension draining from his body as he whispers, “Thanks.” Brooklynn’s heart tightens; she can only imagine how hard it must’ve been, to be separated from them for so long.

The rest of the herd quickly follows suit. Sammy practically pulls Yaz into her lap as she wraps her in a bear hug. Humming contentedly, she tucks the shorter girl’s head under her chin in a familiar embrace. Yaz stifles her laughter by hiding her face in the crook of Sammy’s neck, though the tips of her ears have darkened in a tell-tale blush. She’s earned her reputation as one of the toughest members of the herd, and she still has trouble letting them look after her. Even if it’s Sammy. But in moments like these, after everything they’ve been through, Yaz couldn’t care less.

Ben doesn’t take his eyes off the mirror in his hand, but he does allow himself to lean against Kenji as his free hand reaches down to twine their fingers together. When Kenji turns to press a kiss to his temple, his focused expression doesn’t change; though there’s the slightest hint of a smile at the corner of his lips. Kenji is well-attuned to Ben’s mannerisms and moods, and he knows that even if Ben can’t always outright express it, he’s loved.

As Brooklynn watches her herd, absentmindedly rubbing soothing circles on Darius’s back, she feels herself come out of a tension she hadn’t realized she was holding. Despite the terror that still lingers in their minds, and the danger that still surrounds them, her heart is full. This is exactly what they needed.

For a precious few minutes, they simply exist together. Breathing together, checking in on each other with soft murmurs and gentle touches, reassuring looks and gestures. Reminding each other they’re still alive, still together. It’s something they never take for granted, with how dangerous their lives are, but it’s always nice to take the time to appreciate it properly.

Once the tension has dissipated and they’ve all settled again, Brooklynn quietly fills the others in on her and Ben’s leg of the journey, how they saved Owen. She summarizes quickly and efficiently, not wanting to linger on something that doesn’t matter anymore. 

(Considering the betrayals they’ve experienced in the past, Owen’s really wasn’t that bad, but it still stings.)

Darius finally gets the chance to praise them for catching onto his idea with the disguise, which Brooklynn is quite pleased about. Then Kenji takes over, describing their escape from Chaos and the security building, with Yaz interjecting every now and then to keep his story straight and unembellished. Brooklynn picks back up with the stampede and their race to the docks, taking the chance to praise Darius for leaving the truck for them. Then he praises them all for their work, and Yaz decides the mood is far too wishy-washy for her taste, and asks Darius what his plan is.

Darius is quiet for a moment, brows furrowing. “I- I should do s- s- some recon,” he decides. “Scope o- out th- the uh, the bridge. Wh- Wheatley knows I- I’m h- here, so he c- can… um, v- vouch f- for me.”

Brooklynn frowns. She knows where Darius’s mind is at; if they’re going to stop this ship, they’ll have to take control of it, and the only way to do that is by taking control of the bridge. But she doesn’t like the thought of him being on his own again, on a ship full of mercenaries and dinosaurs.

(The mercenaries are the more immediate threat, but she can’t forget the dinosaurs- sedated or not. She’s aware of their presence like a field mine that's just waiting to explode.)

At the same time, she also knows that Darius’s plan is the best plan they have. Moving as a group will draw more attention to them, and Darius is the only one who actually has a reason to be on the ship. So as much as she doesn’t like it, she doesn’t argue.

“Alright,” she says. “Straight to the bridge and back. Have an excuse ready. Only stay long enough to figure out our entry point. Be quick and careful, okay?”

Darius grins; he knows all that already, but is touched by her concern. ‘Careful,’ he signs in agreement. Then he adds, ‘Stay, quiet, safe.’ Which Brooklynn knows, of course, so maybe they’re both guilty of worrying too much.

He looks over them all again, offering a reassuring nod, before slipping out of the truck. Ben tracks his movement in the mirror until he disappears, signing, ‘All clear’ just as Brooklynn can no longer hear his footsteps.

Taking a steadying breath, Brooklynn settles in to wait.

~*~

Darius thinks he might be getting the hang of this.

The hold is big, but it’s still an enclosed space, and he’s starting to become more comfortable navigating through it. Even now, as he takes a moment to pause by a stack of crates, he has a good sense of where Zia’s trailer and the herd’s truck are. He can also see, over the vast ocean of vehicles and shipping containers, two spots of light towards the front of the hold; ramps that must lead up to the deck.

All of Darius’s senses are on high-alert, but he doesn’t let his anxiety show. He’s supposed to be on this ship, and no one is going to suspect him of doing something wrong unless he gives them a reason to. So he rummages through the piles of cargo until he finds a clipboard, with what looks like pages of inventory on it, and starts making his way through the hold. He keeps his gaze down and focused on his clipboard, so he’ll look busy if anyone happens to pass him.

Fortunately, it seems the hold is still sparsely populated, and he reaches the ramp without issue. Footsteps light on the metal floor, he climbs up to the surface.

The ocean is much louder out here, waves lapping against the ship’s sides, salty water in the wind. A warm orange glow bathes the deck as the sun begins to sink over the horizon. There are more people out here, standing in groups or jogging across the deck as they go about their business. Two military class helicopters are secured towards the front of the ship, along with more shipping containers tied down in neat rows.

It’s an unexpected relief to be outside again, even if it’s all so unlike the island. Already, Darius is feeling nauseous from diesel fumes.

He takes in the scene quickly, not wanting to linger. Towards the back of the deck, on either side of the large tower in the middle of the ship, are stairwells to the upper levels. Eyes on his clipboard, he moves towards the nearest one with purposeful steps.

The most direct path takes him past a group of mercenaries, but he doesn’t swerve- that’d be too suspicious. Without letting his steps falter, Darius continues past them… and breathes a silent sigh of relief when no one calls after him. At the top of the stairwell, he finds a door that leads inside- presumably to the upper levels, and therefore, the bridge.

Tucking the clipboard under his arm, Darius wrenches the metal door open and slips inside.

It takes a moment to adjust to the dim fluorescent lighting. The hallway is narrow, almost claustrophobic, and there are doors placed at random intervals on either side. Trying to picture the ship’s exterior in his mind, Darius reasons that since the bridge is centrally located, he should stay on the main path instead of going through any doors, which would likely lead to dead-end rooms.

Worse comes to worst, he might be able to ask someone for directions without raising any alarms. It’s a big ship, after all, and he’s young enough that his inexperience won’t be questioned. Considering this operation is all sorts of illegal, Darius wouldn’t be surprised if they weren’t able to be very selective with the crew they hired. The qualifications probably started and ended with ‘is willing to break the law.’

As he continues down the hallway, it quickly becomes apparent that this is indeed where the rest of the crew has been. He can hear voices behind nearly every door he passes, loud conversations and laughing and arguing in equal amounts. He even encounters a few mercenaries on his way- but stepping aside so they can pass him while muttering an apology seems to be enough to avoid a lengthy interaction.

All the while, Darius is careful to keep track of his steps. There are a couple times where the hallway splits off in two directions, and he has to go with his gut, selecting the one that’s more likely to take him to the center. And after a few tense minutes, his methodology is rewarded with a tall, spiral staircase with a sign that indicates it leads to the bridge.

Darius’s mind is racing as he climbs it, mentally going over what he’s going to say. He’s counting on Wheatley being at the bridge, seeing as how he’s leading this whole expedition, but Darius has prepared back-up plans in case he isn’t. His goal is to identify the captain and determine the best point of entry to the bridge- they’ll figure everything else out later.

The passageway outside the bridge continues around either side of it, but it’s narrow and completely devoid of cover. There’s little chance to conceal himself, and he doesn’t want to risk getting spotted doing anything suspicious like hiding. So Darius walks right up to the door- it’s thick metal with a small window- and knocks.

After a few moments, there’s a dull clicking noise, and the door swings open.

Wheatley doesn’t look happy to see him. “I thought I told you to stay in the trailer!” he scolds.

Darius puts on an appropriately chagrined expression. “Sorry, s- s- sir. Zia sent m- me.” As he talks, he directs his gaze up at Wheatley’s face, but really, part of his gaze is looking past him, into the bridge. “She n- needs to- to know, uh, how l- long until we…” He can see behind Wheatley, on the opposite side of the bridge, that there’s only one other door. But it has a heavy bolt lock on it- no way they’ll get through those. “Um, d- dock. Needs s- special supplies f- for- for the uh…” There’s a ventilation shaft on the ceiling- he might be small enough to fit, if they can find an exterior access point. “Th- the raptor.”

“That’s none of your business,” Wheatley snaps, clearly short on patience. “We’ve already given her all the medical supplies we have on the ship. Tell her to figure it out. And don’t let me catch you outside that trailer again, understand?”

“Yes, s- sir!” Darius risks a glance towards the front of the bridge, making eye contact with the man standing before a wide control panel- there’s the captain- as if apologizing for disturbing him. At the same time, Darius notices that there isn’t anyone else in the room. “S- sorry!”

Wheatley shuts the door in his face, the lock sliding into place with a thud. Darius wastes no time turning back the way he came, holding back a pleased smile.

Already, a plan is starting to take shape in his mind, his body mostly on autopilot as he doubles back through the ship. He’d had a rough idea of how they could accomplish their goal, but now that he’s seen what they’re working with, everything’s falling into place. Wheatley’s biggest downfall is assuming there’s no one out to get them- no guards at the bridge! Darius can hardly believe their good luck.

Of course, that doesn’t mean this will be entirely without risk. Wheatley has a gun, after all. So the first thing they’ll have to do is get him out of the bridge. As the leader of the mission, any large problem will demand his attention. Once Wheatley is gone and the captain’s alone, it should be pretty simple to gain entry and take over. Then they just lock themselves inside, radio for help, and wait it out. There’s a lot of evidence that this is a retired military ship, so the glass should be bulletproof, and there’s no other way in.

The only major snag is that they’re working with an unknown time limit. Darius has no idea where the ship is planning to dock. He knows that Lockwood Manor, the estate of the man Claire claimed to have sent them, is located in Northern California. It’d probably take a ship this size quite a while to travel there, maybe even days. But of course, they could be headed to a different drop-off point. Maybe they aren’t even heading back into U.S. waters.

The safest course of action is to assume they could be reaching land at any minute. Not that Darius sees any land nearby when he crosses the deck again, but still. The longer they wait to strike, the higher the chances are of them- or Claire’s group- being discovered, and losing the element of surprise. It’d be in their best interest to stop this ship in its tracks, both to keep it away from shore and to make it easier for the authorities to find.

Darius has a plan for that, too.

Before he knows it, he’s arrived back at the truck. When he ducks inside, the others are expecting him; either Ben or Brooklynn must’ve been alerted to his presence.

‘Okay, safe,’ Darius signs, reassuring them before they can ask.

Brooklynn quickly looks him over anyways. “Did you find the bridge?”

Darius nods. “J- just Wheatley and uh, a- and the c- captain,” he informs them.

“What’s the plan?” Sammy asks, leaning forward.

Darius counts off on his fingers. “Stop th- the ship, d- distract Wheatley, take o- over the uh, th- the… the bridge.”

“I like it,” Kenji says decisively, putting on a contemplative expression. “It’s simple, elegant. Not bogged down by too many pesky details…”

Yaz rolls her eyes at his teasing. “Shut it.” She lightly smacks him on the shoulder before nodding pointedly at Darius. “Continue.”

Darius grins good-naturedly. “A-List, s- sabotage. Find th- the engine room a- a- and… and cut the p- power. B-Team, dist- distraction. Find Bumpy, m- make… um, some n- noise. Draw Wh- Wheatley into… the h- hold.” He puts a hand on Sammy’s shoulder. “After he- he uh, he leaves to s- see what’s g- g- going on, we’ll st- storm the… the bridge, use th- the radio to c- call f- for help.”

Yaz frowns. “Wait, I don’t know anything about boats,” she points out. “I doubt they’ll have a convenient ‘cut engine’ switch. What if we accidentally blow something up? We could sink the whole ship.”

Darius glances over at Kenji, expectant.

Kenji’s eyebrows shoot up in surprise. “Hey, my dad’s yacht is one thing, okay? But this is a super-sized cargo freighter and I’ve never even been in an engine room before, I’m not gonna know what we’re looking at.”

Darius blinks, taken aback. There goes one prong of his plan. He’d really been banking on Kenji’s self-proclaimed experience with boats to handle that part of the mission, but he should’ve considered the possibility that Kenji had been embellishing his expertise-

“I can do it,” Brooklynn speaks up. “I did a lot of research on boats for Brooklynn Unboxes the Titanic.”

Darius knits his brows together, mind racing. “Okay, um-”

“We split up, then,” Ben says, still keeping watch in the broken mirror.

“What?” Darius looks over in surprise.

Ben shrugs a shoulder. “Look, Kenji and Yaz shouldn’t split up, and Brooklynn has to go with them. I can go get Bumpy alone.”

Darius shakes his head. “Sammy c- can go w- w- with you-”

“Storming the bridge isn’t exactly a one-person job,” Ben says firmly, meeting Darius’s gaze out of the corner of his eye. “I’ll be fine. Once I get Bumpy free, it won’t matter anyway.”

Darius hesitates, weighing the different options. The two pairs can’t just swap jobs, because although Bumpy knows all of them, she really only takes directions from Ben. Especially since she spends so much time with her own herd these days. But Ben’s right that the A-Team should stay together; they’ll have to make a hasty retreat after sabotaging the engines and Kenji’s the only one who can reliably carry Yaz if her ankle gives out. And Brooklynn definitely has to go on the sabotage mission because these are diesel engines and one wrong move could be disastrous-

“I’ll be careful,” Ben says, his voice softer. He seems to have sensed Darius’s uncertainty, and has made the decision for him. “I promise.”

“Alright,” Darius finally relents. He hates that Ben has to be put in such a dangerous situation, but if his herd’s taught him anything, it’s that they’re not willing to let him be the only one taking risks. “Wait f- for them to… t- to cut the en- engines, so w- we have uh, t- time to get in- into- into position b- before… you um, you d- draw Wheatley out.”

Ben nods, returning his focus to surveilling.

Darius turns to the others. “Once th- the engines a- are off, come to uh, to the b- bridge. We’ll ma- ake an announce- m- ment as s- soon… soon as we’ve c- contacted the um, the a- authorities. H- hopefully the m- m- mercenaries will… will uh, b- bail when th- they r- realize the mission’s c- compromised. You j- j- just have to… t- to hold o- out until then.” He emphasizes his point by signing, ‘Safe, fast, stealth.’

Kenji breaks into a wide grin. “C’mon, bro, this is us we’re talking about,” he says, clapping Darius on the shoulder. “We’ve got like, a 100% survival rate.”

Sammy gives him a dubious look. “What about Hap?” she asks quietly.

Kenji winces. “... Hap was an outlier and should not be counted,” he amends.

“Really killing the mood here, guys,” Yaz huffs.

Darius sighs, but privately, he’s glad for their antics. It’s the last shred of normalcy he has, as they’re about to kick off a mission that will ultimately- one way or another- determine their fate. They have a real chance to get rescued, and save a cargo ship’s worth of dinosaurs, too. Failure will surely mean death.

But Darius is something of an optimist, and he knows what his herd’s capable of.

“Be s- safe, be smart, d- don’t die,” he tells them, wanting what might be his final words to be spoken instead of signed. “I l- love you g- guys.”

Inevitably, that triggers a group hug with lots of similar sentiments, but Darius hardly minds.

~*~

Ben slowly peeks over the crate, checking that the coast is clear before making his move.

After the herd split up, he immediately set out to find Bumpy. He’s being extra careful like he promised he’d be, doing frequent checks of his surroundings so he won’t get snuck up on. As a consequence, his progress is slow. He’s only been able to check five transports so far, and of course, none of them were holding Bumpy.

He doesn’t know for a fact that she’s still in the transport they took her away in, but it’s the most likely option. He can’t imagine them taking the time to move her into a different container, unless they felt they’d be able to make another trip before the ship departed. It’s a calculated risk, only looking through the transports. If she’s in one, then he’ll find her faster. But if she’s not, he’ll have to double back and check every other trailer and shipping container, which will take him longer than if he’d checked them all in the first place.

It’s a lot like that concept of cost-benefit analysis Darius once told him about, related to foraging habits of birds. A mother bird has to decide how far from her nest she’s willing to fly in search of adequate food. Too close, and the competition from neighboring birds may leave her with nothing. Too far, and her chicks could starve before she makes it back to them. But if she flies far and still finds no food, it’s a lose-lose scenario. It might be safer to stay close and bring what little food she can back, instead of taking the risk by flying far.

In this scenario, Bumpy represents the food, and the chicks represent a successful mission. Or wait, maybe Bumpy’s the chicks, because Ben’s her mama bird?

… Ben’s lost his train of thought.

Pushing that to the back of his mind, he quickly scans his surroundings again- now more of a meerkat than a bird- before finally darting over to the next transport. Hopping up onto the back fender, he rises onto his toes so he can peek through the tiny, tinted window on the side of the transport.

He’s greeted by a familiar armored plate of turquoise scales.

Relief washes through Ben, and he lets out a heavy breath. He can’t make out much from this angle, but fortunately, Bumpy seems to be standing upright. Which would mean she’s still conscious, as they wouldn’t have had any reason to sedate her. She isn’t moving around much, but the transport is quite small for her size; the spikes jutting out from her sides are practically scraping the walls.

Ben’s heart aches. Even though he knows it was to save her life, he feels guilty for letting this happen to her. He can only imagine what she must be thinking, and can’t wait until she’s free and by his side again.

Dropping back to the floor, Ben does another quick check of his surroundings while his mind races. They need to be ready to go as soon as Brooklynn and the A-List stop the ship, so he’d better get working on a way to free Bumpy.

Walking around to the back of the transport, Ben examines the door handles and gives them a cursory tug. It’s locked, as expected, but the lock seems to be completely internal rather than external. That means it’s unlocked by an internal mechanism instead of any kind of key. And if it’s unlocked by an internal mechanism, it’s probably controlled electronically by the front cab.

Ben circles back around to the front of the transport. There are no doors up here, which seems to be a continuing trend. Why do none of these tactical vehicles have front doors? Does it really slow them down that much? Don’t they know how unsafe these kinds of jeeps are? Especially for this specific terrain; most dinosaurs that are strong enough to tear through a car door are too big to actually get inside it, so it’s the small ones you have to worry about.

In any case, it makes Ben’s job a little easier, because he can study the inside of the cab without having to close himself in. Aside from the usual buttons associated with cars, there are numerous switches- all unlabeled, of course. But he supposes it doesn’t matter. Without keys, he has no way to turn the vehicle on. And without power to the vehicle, he won’t be able to unlock the transport doors in a traditional manner.

For a moment, Ben lets himself wish that Brooklynn was here. She’d probably know how to hotwire the transport, using knowledge from some obscure unboxing video, and he’d be able to keep a proper watch instead of casting paranoid glances over his shoulder every ten seconds.

But he doesn’t wallow for very long. He promised Darius he could handle this. And although he might not know how to hotwire a car, there are easier ways to bust a lock.

Ben pulls his spear from its sling and snaps it over his knee, a few inches away from the spearhead. That leaves him with a handle he can comfortably hold and maneuver with one hand, and fit into the tight space in front of the driver’s seat.

It’s not the first spear Ben has broken. The spear is his weapon of choice partly because he can easily replace them. All it takes is a sturdy reed, a sharpened stone, and a bit of vine. He’s lost several of them during his years on the island; sometimes because they break during a fight, and sometimes because he can throw them to discourage a charging dinosaur, and there isn’t always a chance to recover it.

Admittedly, this situation makes him a bit nervous because he doesn’t have the means to make a new spear anymore. But if their plan works, he won’t need to. He just has to do his part, whatever it takes.

With a dagger-sized spear now in hand, Ben crouches next to the vehicle and- after remembering to check his surroundings again- ducks his head into the space in front of the driver’s seat. There’s a flat panel underneath the steering console, and he digs the spearhead into its seams, prying it open. It takes a bit of effort before the panel finally falls away, dropping to the floor of the vehicle and revealing a forest of wires.

The vehicle is off, so there really isn’t any danger in Ben slicing wires. He does them one by one, hoping he’ll cut the right one before his spearhead is too dulled to tear through the insulated wrapping. And only because his ear is basically pressed to the floor of the vehicle does he finally hear a low clank echo through the undercarriage. Satisfaction flickers through him, but he doesn’t celebrate yet. First, he has to make sure it actually unlocked the-

A hand grabs his arm. “Hey, what-”

Ben’s body reacts before he’s even fully processed the sound of the man’s voice. Whirling around, he slashes a wide arc with the spearhead. The intruder is a mercenary- a gruff man in combat gear- so the blade only cuts harmlessly through the front of his kevlar vest. But the shock of it makes the man stumble backwards, his sentence morphing into a shout, and Ben seizes the advantage.

Springing forward, he swings his free hand up to punch the man in a swift undercut. The man’s head snaps to the side with a pained grunt. But when Ben strikes out with the spearhead again, the man’s ready; he catches Ben’s wrist in his much larger hand, trying to bend it backwards in his crushing grip. Ben swings his other fist at the man’s face, but that gets caught as well. For a moment, they’re in a stalemate as Ben’s taller, stronger opponent attempts to overpower him.

Then Ben drives his knee into the man’s gut. 

That makes him release Ben involuntarily as he doubles over, wheezing. Wasting no time, Ben whips his leg around in a kick that throws the man to the ground.

But before Ben can jump him, there’s movement at the edge of his vision- another mercenary running at them. His voice reaches Ben’s ears a heartbeat later; an angry shout. Clearly, the idea of a sneak attack never crossed his mind.

The second man charges straight at Ben, swinging the butt of his rifle at Ben’s head. Ben sidesteps around him, lashing out with the spearhead to carve a wide- but shallow- gash across his arm and sending up a spray of blood. Howling with pain and rage, the man tries to hit Ben again. Ben ducks under his arms and slams his head up beneath the man’s chin.

Crack!

The slight ache of his forehead is worth it when the man staggers back a few steps, clutching his jaw. Eyes blazing with rage, he ducks his head as if he’s going to charge again. Ben adjusts his grip on the spearhead, bracing himself-

Something presses into Ben’s back.

“Hands up,” a third voice says, “or I shoot.”

Ah. Apparently, at least one of them knows about sneak attacks; Ben never heard him coming.

A very large part of Ben wants to keep fighting anyway. The smaller, more reasonable part of his brain tells him that would almost certainly get him shot. And he did promise Darius he’d be careful. So he swallows back the urge to turn and slash at the man’s throat, and instead slowly raises his hands.

“Drop it,” the man orders.

Gritting his teeth, Ben lets the spearhead slip through his fingers and clatter on the floor. For a moment, everything is still and silent, save for the mens’ heavy breathing. The first man has gotten back to his feet, wiping a trickle of blood from his mouth and eyeing Ben warily.

“Who the hell are you?” the second man demands, clutching his bleeding arm.

Ben glares up at him and says nothing. But inwardly, he’s kicking himself- it hadn’t mattered that he was careful. At the end of the day, he just hadn’t heard them. If this had happened back on the island with a dinosaur, he’d probably be dead right now.

The first man frowns, grabbing the radio that’s clipped onto his belt. “Hey, sir? There’s a weird fucking kid here, trying to get into one of the transports.”

Ben can’t make out the reply that comes back, garbled with static, but the man blinks in surprise.

“Uh, yeah,” he says. Then he listens for another moment before nodding. “Copy that.” Lowering the radio, the man smirks down at Ben. “The boss wants a word with you.”

Ben’s heart jolts. This wasn’t part of the plan. He was supposed to bring Wheatley here, not the other way around! But before he can do anything, the man behind him grabs one of his arms- without moving the gun that’s pressed against his back- and the second man moves to take Ben’s other one. Based on their vice-like grips, Ben’s chances of getting free are practically zero.

“But before we go,” the first man says, strolling forward with a sinister grin, “I’ve got something for you.”

Ben’s already anticipating the punch to his stomach, but it still hurts. He manages not to completely lose his breath, breathing raggedly through his nose as he looks up at the man.

“Thank you for that,” he says loudly, baring his teeth in a fierce grin. “Do you feel less emasculated now?”

That earns him a slap across the face, unsurprisingly. But Ben doesn’t regret it; the angrier he can make them, the better. None of them have thought to check what, exactly, he did to the transport. The doors are still closed, but likely unlocked- assuming he did manage to cut the right wire, that is.

Calling out to Bumpy would redirect their attention towards her, and thus, alert them to his plan. But just hearing his voice should be enough. And with the doors unlocked, he trusts that she’ll take care of the rest. Even if he’s not with her, Bumpy will be able to cause quite the distraction.

“Let’s go,” the first man huffs, turning to lead the way. Evidently, he’s decided that being first on the scene makes him in charge by default.

“This should be good,” the second man says to the third.

And as they drag Ben away, he can just barely make out the sound of Bumpy calling after him.

~*~

Claire clutches the still-warm bag to her chest, pausing to catch her breath while Owen peers around the corner.

Her heart is still pounding from their encounter with the T-Rex. She’d woken up halfway through their blood collection, and although the space was too tight for her to do much, Owen had nearly gotten squished a few times. Worse was when someone happened to wander by and close the cage door. Claire had to climb out through the top and unlock it so Owen could make his escape- which he did by jumping through the T-Rex’s roaring jaws.

How this man is still alive, she’ll never know.

In any case, they got what they needed, so they wasted no time in heading back to the trailer. Owen’s making sure they proceed cautiously, though, checking that the way is clear before they dart from cover to cover. The hold doesn’t seem to be very busy, but as they well know, all it takes is one person coming along at the wrong time for someone to get eaten by a T-Rex. Claire would like to avoid that, and any other similar mishaps, if at all possible.

They’re not far from the trailer when there’s a sudden shout from elsewhere in the hold- a man’s pained voice echoing off the metal walls. Very quickly, more voices join in, along with the tell-tale sounds of a struggle. Claire glances over at Owen in alarm, and he holds a hand up, indicating they should wait. 

So they wait, crouched behind a truck. The sounds stop after a couple seconds, and then there’s silence. But just as Claire is about to ask Owen if they should move on, they hear footsteps start to approach. Loud, angry footsteps of at least three people.

Wordlessly, they shift around to the side of the truck that’s hidden from the footsteps. For a heart-stopping moment, Claire thinks the footsteps are headed to the trailer where Zia and Franklin are… but then they pass.

The footsteps depart, moving towards the ramps that lead out onto the deck. Claire and Owen carefully peer around the truck just in time to see the retreating backs of three mercenaries, with large rifles slung across their shoulders. The one in the front is speaking on a radio and sounds very annoyed. The two behind him are dragging Ben.

The teen must’ve put up a tremendous fight; one of the men is holding a pistol to his back, and yet the hands wrapped around his arms are gripping so tightly, it’s turning his skin white. Clearly, they’ve learned the hard way not to underestimate him. Claire doesn’t get a good look before they’re out of view, but she thinks one of their sleeves is stained with blood. She turns to Owen to ask him what they should do, but is alarmed to find he’s already moving to follow them.

Claire grabs him by the arm, yanking him back. “What are you doing?” she whispers frantically.

Owen makes an exasperated noise. “We’ve gotta help him!”

“Wait, wait, wait,” Claire says, her mind racing. A sudden thought occurs to her. “What if this is part of their plan? Maybe he got captured on purpose so they’d take him to Wheatley?”

“To do what?” Owen asks incredulously, his brows shooting up. “Kill him with his bare hands?”

“I don’t know!” Claire protests. “But Darius said they had a plan, if we interfere we could screw them up.”

Owen crosses his arms. “Plans can go wrong, it happens all the time.”

“What are we supposed to do about it?” Claire demands.

Owen falls silent at that, his jaw clenched. Even if he’s not convinced this was part of the teens’ plan, he seems to have realized there isn’t much they can do. It’s not like they’d stand a chance against three armed mercenaries, especially with Ben in such a precarious position. They could very well get him shot.

Claire swallows, putting a hand on Owen’s arm. “We still have to get this blood to Blue,” she reminds him gently. “Then we’ll figure out what to do, okay?”

That gets through to Owen. “Okay,” he relents, turning towards the trailer.

Claire sends up a silent prayer before following.

~*~

#jurassic world camp cretaceous #jurassic world fallen kingdom #jwcc #camp cretaceous #my writing

[awlumii]

afraid to lose you.

can be seen as a pt. 2 to "it stings."

# — pairing: kazuha x gn!reader

# — characters: gender neutral reader, kazuha

# — warnings: lightly suggestive

# — tags: some angst, fluff, making out, jealous!kazuha, ofc there would be kissing, who do you think i am

# — notes: the word count on this is 5,738. this took... about five hours. i haven't done this kind of writing in months, and holy FUCK does it feel good. like always, reblogs and reactions are appreciated, and i hope you enjoy!

wanna join the tag list?

✧ — 🍁 — ✧

it may seem like you know kazuha inside and out, but there are times when he thinks otherwise.

don't misunderstand — kazuha doesn't hide anything from you. not intentionally, anyway. the only reason why he may refrain from telling you something is because the topic just hasn't come up yet. if someone were to ask you any question pertaining to kazuha's home life before he became a wanderer, you likely wouldn't have an answer. you've never asked, so he's never told you. and because of that, some gaps may exist in your understanding of kazuha.

then again, he's still transparent to you, whether he makes it that way or not. you're terrifyingly observant at times, able to read even the slightest of gestures and decipher how he's feeling before he himself realizes it. there are times when kazuha wonders if you know him better than he knows himself. that fact extends to just about everyone you know, actually — all the members of the crux fleet are aware of your vigilance.

but you aren't without fault; the reason why kazuha thinks you don't truly know him is because there are times when you're... a bit slow on the uptake.

like right now, for instance.

"you don't want to hold your weapon so close to the blade." your voice comes in clear on the breeze. kazuha watches as you step closer to a man wielding a polearm and take his weapon, brandishing it yourself. "see where my hands are? even if the tip is the only thing doing damage, you need to be able to control the entire thing. try again." you hand the polearm back to the man, who stiffly does as you say. you shake your head and step behind him to manually adjust his stance. when you're finished, you step back. "isn't that a little more comfortable?" you ask him.

you're standing behind him, so you can't see his face, but kazuha can. and for some reason, his expression is... irritating.

"y-yeah, a little." the man answers. he swings the polearm as you instructed. "so like this..?"

you sigh. you take the man's arms from behind again and slowly swing his arms for him. as you do, kazuha actually has to look away, lest he look at your student's face again.

you're giving a one-on-one lesson to one of the new sailors at his request. what was his name again? kenji? all kazuha remembers is that he was the only one out of the six new recruits to hail from inazuma. it's not like him to be so forgetful. he'd normally beat himself up for being so discourteous — especially to someone from his homeland — but he isn't quite sure he wants to extend such courtesy to kenji. (if that's even his name.)

because as of late, kenji's been... monopolizing you, so to speak. you were entrusted with the task of training the new recruits. it was a simple enough job at first; kazuha was content to watch as you flattened the three recruits who were the most mouthy. but of the six, there was a straggler in the group — someone who just couldn't keep up to save their life. kenji required extra care, so you took it upon yourself to bring him up to speed. unfortunately, kenji was slower than you anticipated.

kazuha spares kenji a glance. his brows twitch when he sees the pink that's dusted itself over his features. he looks away again.

how can you be so observant, yet so blind to this man's obvious crush on you?

"do that a few more times," kazuha hears you say, "and you'll have a better foundation for when we start sparring some more." you rest a hand on your hip as you watch kenji swing his polearm as you instructed. "good. keep it up if you want to; i'm going to sit down. we're done for the day."

kazuha perks up at that. are you finally done? can he finally take you away from—

"wait!" kenji stops you mid-stride. "um... can you... t-tell me how you got your vision?"

you're silent for a moment. you slowly turn back to face him and kazuha wishes he can see the look on your face. "are you really curious?" you ask.

kazuha grits his teeth. say no, say no—

"yes," kenji says despite kazuha's internal pleading. to make a bad situation worse, you oblige him and walk back over, starting the tale of how you received your vision.

kazuha groans silently and bumps the back of his head on the tree he's sitting against. it's taking everything in him to not get up and yank you away from your starry-eyed pupil in this moment. because archons, the lovesick puppy eyes kenji is giving you is making his stomach twist. how are you, of all people, so oblivious? can't you see that? it's so obvious–!

kazuha reels himself back in. this isn't like him. he needs to get himself in check before you come back.

he takes a steadying breath. maybe he's just on edge because he didn't get much sleep last night. kenji has been doing this for weeks — taking up your time, playing dumb, ogling you... it's safe to say that kazuha hasn't been resting well knowing that come morning, you'd be whisked away to kenji's side again.

you finish your story a bit quicker than kazuha anticipated. before he knows it, you're walking over to him, leaving a dejected looking kenji in your wake. thankfully, kazuha's finished his breathing routine. he gives you his most patient smile when you seat yourself beside him. "all done for the day?" he asks quietly.

you grumble something under your breath and lie down, resting your head in kazuha's lap. like a magnet, his hand finds its way to your hair, idly twisting your locks around his fingers. "i can't believe i still have to correct him on his form." you seethe quietly. "why did he pick up a spear if he wasn't gonna use it right?!"

kazuha tries to bite back his chuckle, but he fails. thank the stars you're at least a little frustrated by kenji's behavior. a little more of that, and you'll be on your way to ignoring him in no time. (hopefully.)

"perhaps he wants to be a vision holder like you." kazuha says. "ambition is one of the main traits of a vision holder..."

you look up at kazuha, your face clouded with thought. "that'd explain his reluctance to give up... hopefully he practices enough to put up an actual fight tomorrow."

tomorrow? "you're going to be training him again tomorrow?" kazuha can't stop himself from asking.

you nod and look out to kenji, who is eagerly practicing the moves you taught him earlier. kazuha doesn't dare look. "yeah. if you're right and his goal is actually to obtain a vision, then... i guess i should help him, shouldn't i?"

...you're so nice that it hurts. and damn if he doesn't love that about you.

kazuha looses a soft sigh and pushes your hair off of your forehead. he leans down and presses a kiss right between your brows, chuckling when you pull them together in confusion. "you're a marvelous teacher." he laughs when you begin to fluster under the praise.

he's not lying; no matter how frustrating this situation may be, he would be remiss if he didn't acknowledge just how effective your teachings are. you practice what you preach, giving kazuha a run for his money whenever he spars with you. if kenji wasn't... well, kenji, he would be the best of the new recruits by now.

you look away and kazuha presses the back of his hand on your cheek. as he guessed, it's warm. you push him away with a grumble, making him laugh again. "stop that."

"shall i praise you more?" he teases, brushing his fingers across your cheek once more.

"...no." you close your eyes at the touch.

after that, a pleasant silence descends upon the two of you. and for the first time in what feels like forever, kazuha has you all to himself. the intrusive thoughts hush, and it's just you, him, and the breeze.

(in the distance, kenji watches the tender moment with a deep frown.)

maybe it's a good thing that you can't sense how kazuha feels about all of this. he can't make much of it himself.

that's a lie. he can, he just doesn't want to admit it to himself. that feeling is beneath him. what a wretched feeling it is. he won't even think it. there's no way he'd be feeling like that over some new recruit. he forces it down — out-of-sight, out-of-mind-style.

but when kenji approaches you while you're sitting with kazuha aboard the alcor, he finds that that feeling is much more difficult to contain than he initially thought.

"would you mind if i joined you?" kenji asks, and immediately, kazuha sees a problem here. why was his question directed solely at you? is he invisible?

besides, you're not exactly the most approachable right now; kazuha is sitting on top of a barrel and you're standing between his legs with his arms wrapped around you. no one has come up to you two for longer than a moment. (probably because they know how to read the room, kazuha thinks.)

you hum in what kazuha can only assume is assent. kenji makes himself comfortable on a barrel across from kazuha, his eyes never leaving your frame. "what do you need?" you ask. your voice sounds distant. kazuha peeks to see you're still staring out at the sea.

kenji flinches. "oh, um... nothing, i just... ah..." he fumbles over his words. his eyes are darting between you and kazuha, his ears turning redder by the second. "i couldn't find anyone else to pass the time with, so..."

kazuha blinks twice in disbelief. as of right now, he can hear four people who are talking aimlessly as they laze about, two of which are the new recruits. which means kenji purposely came looking for you. but why wouldn't he just leave right away when he saw what you were doing? (or not doing, kazuha thinks.)

you take your eyes off of the sea and focus on kenji, who visibly jolts at having earned your attention. (or is kazuha just too observant?) "why don't you tell me about yourself then?" you prompt him. "i don't know much about you outside of training."

and just like that, another moment is stolen from him. kazuha sighs silently, resigned. neither you nor kenji notice as the latter eagerly starts to chat you up. you may be standing in his arms, but you feel miles away right now, your heart and mind elsewhere yet again.

kazuha isn't upset with you over this. he could never be. he knows that you have no ill intent towards neither him, nor kenji, but... selfishly, he wishes you would open your eyes, even if it's only by a little. kenji's infatuation with you is far from subtle; it shows in the way he smiles whenever you speak and gapes whenever you laugh. if he were to be honest, if kenji had done all of this from afar, kazuha would be less inclined to keep you away from him at all costs. kenji is too close for comfort, and it's grating on kazuha's every nerve.

fed up with the lack of privacy, kazuha attempts to remove you from the situation. he taps two fingers on your side three times — taptaptap — a code the two of you created for when you want to make a quick escape.

you don't respond. perhaps you didn't feel it? kazuha tries again, but this time, you tap your index and middle finger on him twice — the code for not right now.

that ugly feeling rears its head. kazuha crams it back in whatever hole it came from.

maybe he felt wrong. again, he taps you three times, and again, you tap him twice. you're serious.

kazuha can't contain that feeling fast enough. he rubs your arm gently and eases you out of the way for him to get off of the barrel. when you look at him, confused, he takes your hand and gives you his most disarming smile. "i won't be far," he says. "you know where to find me, right, dove?"

your worried frown is almost reassuring. does this mean you've picked up on his discomfort? will you end the conversation and come with him? the answer is no — you nod slowly instead. "i'll finish up here and come find you when i'm done, okay?" you rub a circle into the back of kazuha's hand.

not the answer he wanted, but he'll take what he can get. kazuha presses a kiss to your knuckles. "i'll be waiting for you." he murmurs into your skin. you watch the gesture closely, as if you're trying to get a read on how he's feeling. it's obvious that you can't, though. before kazuha walks off, he spares kenji a glance only to find the recruit already looking at him. now, either kazuha is losing his mind, or kenji is smirking at him. for his sanity, it's best that he assumes the former. kazuha takes his leave and heads to the crow's nest, where he awaits your arrival.

the afternoon comes and goes, and kazuha understands that you're not coming and that once again, he's lost you to kenji.

it's become much too difficult for kazuha to not feel that feeling, which is why he traps you in his arms the following morning.

he wakes before you today — typically, this would be considered a rare occurrence, but thanks to a certain someone, he's been rising before the sun. kazuha takes the time just before and during dawn to really admire you. perhaps he took your presence for granted; it wasn't until after you'd been swept away that he realized just how little he'd been appreciating you lately.

(of course you would beg to differ; kazuha spends so much time admiring you that you think your heart is going to fail by an early age. though he doesn't know that.)

this morning, kazuha has his arms wrapped around your middle and his face buried in your chest. he shimmies back so he can get a better look at you. in the dim light of the morning, with the moon saying its last goodbye until the evening, kazuha raises his bandaged hand and traces your features with a feather-light touch. he brushes his thumb over your brow bone and traces your cupid's bow. you look so at peace right now; kazuha silently wishes to see you smile.

he runs his finger across the slope of your nose and smoothes a finger across your eyelids. you scrunch your nose and raise a hand to push him away at that, and kazuha presses his lips together to stop a chuckle. he must be bothering you, no? feeling mischievous, he pinches your nose briefly and sure enough, you quickly swat him away with a sharp inhale.

"can't you wake me up like a normal person..?" you groan, dropping a hand over your face.

kazuha puffs a soft laugh. "did i wake you?" he asks cheekily.

you crack your eyes open to give him a heavily lidded glare. "no." you bite sarcastically. "i'm still asleep."

"then you're dreaming. you should wake up, my love."

you sigh and mush your hand on kazuha's face, ignoring his laughter. "i can't stand you." you mutter. you move your hand to look him in the eyes properly. "good morning, kazuha. you ass."

kazuha takes your hand and brings it to his lips, kissing each one of your fingertips. he revels in the way you sigh, tired yet smitten. the beginnings of a smile curl your lips, and kazuha thinks that this is what love feels like. "good morning, dove." he murmurs. "it's a new day. may the sun shine warmly upon you today."

you look as though you're blushing, though kazuha isn't sure. like always, he rests a hand on your face to feel the growing warmth. you don't push him away; instead, you close your eyes again with a sleepy hum. "the sun's not up yet," you mutter, "but good morning to you too, 'zuha."

kazuha inhales sharply at the usage of the nickname. he leans in close, and you half open your eyes. "dove," he breathes, hoping you understand. you do, and you meet him halfway. he kisses you for the first time in what feels like forever, tender and warm. it's so easy for him to unwind in your presence, when you touch him like this. he sighs into the kiss but you pull away, much to his disappointment.

"why are you awake so early this morning?" you ask. you comb your fingers through kazuha's hair and it's his turn to close his eyes, a shiver running through him. "did you have a bad dream?"

honestly, a bad dream would be far better than reality. for some reason, your words make him realize once again that you're going to be taken from him soon now that the sun is nearly up. bad dreams are temporary — impermanent visions of one's greatest fears. his greatest fear is losing you. and slowly, thanks to kenji, that very fear is being realized. he wishes the past few weeks were just a bad dream.

with you here, in his arms like this, it feels like that's all it was. kazuha sighs softly. "something like that," he mumbles.

you coo something incomprehensible and pull kazuha in properly, leaving no space between the two of you. you feel like home; his body melts into yours like he belongs there. "i missed you," he dares to whisper into your skin.

"i'm right here, kazuha," you say. "i always will be."

kazuha knows he should believe you, but you could be gone at any moment now. he pulls back to leave a gentle kiss on your lips again. you smile this time, still sleepy, but just as bright as the morning sun. "good morning again, 'zuha." you kiss him one more time for good measure. he doesn't let you get very far, capturing your lips once more.

hours pass by and you're still here. neither of you have made a move to get up despite the sounds of other sailors starting to move about the ship. kazuha lies wrapped in your embrace, his heart fluttering every time you press a fleeting kiss to his skin.

but all good things must come to an end. there's a knock on the door to your cabin, effectively waking the two of you up. you'd been starting to doze back off together before this. kazuha doesn't say a word and neither do you, hoping to get the person to leave, but after a drawn out silence, they knock again. and again. and again. clearly, this person won't give up. you cave in and groan. "who is it?" you call out.

the voice that comes from the other side makes kazuha freeze. "it's kenji! you said we would train together today, remember?"

kazuha looks at you. he can only hope he doesn't look as desperate as he feels. he silently begs you to remain silent or to turn him away, to just stay by his side for today. but you sit up quickly — too quickly. "shit, i did," you swear to yourself. you peel yourself out of kazuha's embrace and quickly start to get ready, leaving kazuha cold. "gimme a minute, i'll be out soon!" you call out again.

kazuha sits up slowly, his eyes downcast. "are you... going to train him again?" the question is out before he can stop himself. he's barely got that feeling in check, his control hanging on by a thread. the first tender moment you've shared in weeks — ruined. he can't take this anymore.

you look over at him, but you don't stop getting ready. kazuha's stomach twists. "yeah," you say as you pull your shirt on. "why?"

"this may be presumptuous of me, but could you... stay in just for today, dove?" archons, he must look so pathetic right now.

"i really want to, but i already stayed in longer than i should have." you fix your clothing in the mirror nearby.

kazuha winces, but you miss it. you're right. he may feel a certain way about the person you're around, but at the end of the day, you have a duty to fulfill, and he shouldn't keep you from that. he feels like a liability to you.

you finish getting ready and sit on the edge of the bed. you cup his cheek and make him face you. there's concern and apology written all over your face. "i'll make it up to you soon, okay?" you promise. it's not an empty promise — it's the first time you're saying this to him. perhaps he should believe you. you've never given him reason to doubt you before.

kazuha nods. "i'll hold you to that, songbird." he won't. "go on; i'm sure he's waiting for you."

you surprise him by kissing him quick and rushing a goodbye. in the blink of an eye, you're gone, leaving him by his lonesome.

it's not until you're gone that kazuha realizes that he doesn't know when 'soon' will be.

it was only a matter of time before kazuha lost control of that feeling.

soon never came. for the rest of that day, you were by kenji's side. you returned to the ship sporting a few cuts and bruises, courtesy of your student. he was much more injured than you were, but he was all smiles — you both were. some real bonding must have occurred while you two were at each other's throats because you were inseparable from that point forward. before kazuha went to bed that night, he noticed kenji looking at you with so much fondness that it made him want to bury his head in the sand. that was the last straw; seeing an outsider look at you the same way a lover would — the way kazuha does.

a few days go by before kazuha reaches his breaking point.

he's alone this afternoon. he decided to take to the streets of liyue harbor hoping the hustle and bustle would jumble his thoughts enough so that he could stop thinking. if you were here, you would steer him away from so much activity since you know how much he detests high-energy environments. instead, you're... elsewhere. he actually has no idea where you are. he pretends that that doesn't bother him. he pushes it away; out of sight, out of mind, right..?

he eventually comes to a stop at the docks and takes a seat. it turns out that he couldn't handle all of the excitement. it's quieter here. it allows him to make sense of his thoughts.

as he looks out at the water, he figures that perhaps it's time for him to face the truth.

he's... jealous.

kazuha cringes inwardly. to give that feeling a name feels... disgusting. he feels foolish. how idiotic of him to feel jealous of someone like kenji, of all people. kazuha has known you for so long, and has been by your side for longer. you would actually probably laugh at him if you knew he felt this way — it seems impossible for someone like kazuha to feel like this.

but at this point, who could blame him? how else is he supposed to feel when his heart is being kept away from him? when it feels like his heart doesn't want to return to him? what about kenji has you running back to him all the time? kazuha refuses to question his worth to you — you wouldn't return to your cabin every night if he meant nothing to you — but the fact that you're gone before he wakes makes him wonder if he's at fault. was he boring you? was he too clingy? what did he do?

as he's mulling over ways to try and confront you on the whole ordeal, he hears footsteps approaching. he doesn't dare turn around. he knows exactly who's coming.

"kenji," he greets the newcomer without looking up. "how nice of you to join me. to whom do i owe this pleasure?"

"oh, no one! i just thought you seemed kinda bummed out, so i thought i'd come by." kenji sounds upbeat and, if kazuha strains his ears, seems to be using a dialect used by inazumans in the countryside. is he trying to make kazuha feel comfortable?

"do i, now?" kazuha works his jaw a few times in an attempt to reel back the attitude. he can't go around giving people the wrong impression of him, can he? (even if that person is kenji.) "i appreciate the gesture. but i'm afraid it's unnecessary."

kenji makes a noise of confusion. kazuha still refuses to look at him. "why so? i could've sworn you were upset. you look down whenever your friend isn't around."

his... what? "pardon?"

kenji says your name. "usually you're around them, but lately you guys haven't been together, and i thought you looked pretty down about it. was i wrong?"

kazuha's not sure if he should laugh. surely kenji doesn't think you two were just friends. that can't be right, can it? he decides to drag this out. "not completely," he half-laughs. "there's more to it than that."

"oh, so you like them too?" kenji's quick to sit by kazuha's side, a strange excitement lacing his tone.

too?

"they're amazing, aren't they?" kenji continues. he launches into some kind of infatuated rant about you and your skills, your sense of humor, and things of the like. and the longer it goes on, the more incredulous kazuha's stare grows. who exactly did kenji think he was talking to right now? did he honestly think that you two were just friends and nothing more?

kenji's next words are the nail in the coffin. "if i'm being honest, i'm thinking of making a move..."

kazuha puts a hand up, cutting kenji off. he can't fucking believe this. he needs to see you. now. "as flattered as i am that you thought to cheer me up, i believe i should take my leave now." he says, fighting the urge to clench his teeth.

"oh! so, you're not upset?"

"it's hard to say." kazuha stands and wishes kenji well before allow his feet to carry him to the ship. he lets the wind tell him of your whereabouts — it feels nice to do that after so long.

luckily for him, you're in your shared cabin. you're sitting on the bed, reading something. you jump at kazuha's sudden entrance, but smile when you see him. "hey, welcome back!" you scoot to the side, making room for him on the bed. kazuha takes his spot beside you. "what's going on?"

kazuha has no idea what to think anymore. this whole time, he was jealous of a man who couldn't tell when two people were in a relationship. he spent weeks questioning his worth and putting himself down for this? this... this was a waste of his time! he's been surrounded by two people who just couldn't read a situation this entire time; you, who couldn't tell just how much kazuha was agonizing over this, and kenji, who needed a total reality check.

you pull him out of his thoughts with a light touch to his hand. "kazuha? is everything okay?"

"were you aware of kenji's feelings for you?" he asks. straight to the point. no cutting corners.

you blink. so no then. "his what?"

"it's been painfully evident for weeks that your student has been harboring strong one-sided feelings for you, dove." kazuha's patience is wearing thin.

"i've been knocking him around for weeks, why the hell would he like me?" you shudder, seemingly uncomfortable with the thought. that's reassuring, at least. "plus, couldn't he tell that i'm not available?"

"i can answer that for you." kazuha shakes his head. "he had no idea. he approached me and informed me that he thought of, and i quote, 'making a move'." he chuckles when you reel back in shock.

"i should probably let him know—" you start to get up, presumably to find kenji and inform him of the truth, but kazuha grabs your wrist, stopping you. "hm?"

"may i suggest something else?" he asks. when you nod, he cups your face in one hand and leans in to press a short kiss to your lips. kazuha kisses you again, even slower this time.

when you part, you whisper, "i don't see how this is gonna fix anything."

kazuha grins almost wolfishly. "do you trust me, dove?"

you nod.

"then follow my lead." kazuha captures your lips sweetly, savoring every second it drags on.

it's been quite some time since he's kissed you like this — slowly and without haste. he uses this as a chance to make up for the time you've lost thanks to this whole ordeal. he licks at the seam of your lips and you let him in, tilting your head to deepen the kiss some more.

kazuha's head starts to spin. he's intoxicated by you already — usually, he's able to contain himself for longer. drunk on the taste of you, kazuha inches forward and you lean back, taking the hint and breaking the kiss to lie down. he hovers over you and snakes his hand up your arm, taking your wrist in his bandaged fingers. the two of you stare at each other, exchanging silent words of adoration before your lips meet again, a bit more feverish this time.

there's untapped passion pouring out of kazuha as he licks into your mouth. he drinks in every sigh, swallows every content noise you make and thrives off of them, using your pleasure as fuel. this is what he wanted — what he needed — and it seems like you agree. he breaks away from your lips and trails heated kisses down to your neck, where he lets the frustration of the past few weeks go.

mark after mark appears on your neck, a palette of purples and reds decorating your skin. they bloom under kazuha's lips like flowers of desire, and he feels dizzy. it doesn't help that you're whining whenever he nips at your skin, nor does it help that you have your fingers tangled in his hair.

"kazuha, this is—" your breath hitches. "you're biting kinda hard..."

oops.

that's all kazuha needs to push off of you, but not before leaving a mark just underneath your jaw, dark and obvious, where it'd be impossible to hide. he gazes down at you in all your flushed glory. you're breathing a little heavy, as is he, and your eyes are hooded. you're a mess beneath him. you're stunning.

unfortunately, he knows he should stop. kazuha leans down and kisses you as an apology. "forgive me, songbird," he murmurs against your lips. "you sounded so pretty for me."

you slap at his shoulder, making him chuckle. he sits up and after a couple seconds, so do you. you run your fingers gingerly over the marks kazuha left on you. "so is this how you're letting kenji know what's going on?" you ask, your voice breathy.

kazuha's brows twitch at the name. he almost forgot why he was doing this. "yes." he watches as you walk over to the mirror to inspect them. "i take it you like what you see?"

you glare at him through the mirror. "he's not the only one who's gonna get the message," you grumble. "you left them in the most obvious places!"

"and yet you can't stop touching them. you like them, don't you?"

you throw a brush at him, which he easily catches. "i can't stand you. why don't you admit that you were jealous, then?"

that word. that feeling that he so desperately tried to avoid naming. there's no use hiding from it anymore, is there? kazuha nods. "i was, actually. he took up so much of your time, i..." he feels a sudden tug of guilt again. "i've battled with myself for weeks over it."

you return to your spot beside him. "weeks..? kazuha, i—"

"i thought that i'd done something to repel you." he confesses. "and i didn't want to keep you stuck by my side when you didn't want to be. but truthfully, i... i missed you, petal. very much." he raises a hand to brush over the fresh marks. you shiver in the wake of his touch. "which is why i got so carried away."

to his surprise, you throw your arms around him and bury your face in his shoulder. he wraps his arms around you in kind, holding you as close as he can. "i'm sorry." your words are muffled by his clothes. "i should've managed my time better. and i should've noticed his behavior a lot sooner."

kazuha sighs and melts into your arms just a little more. "that matters not anymore." he mumbles. "what matters now is that you're here, and you're aware. and," he pulls back to look at you again, "when he sees you again, he knows about us."

"you want him to know i'm yours, don't you?" you ask. you sound sassy, but your expression tells a different story. you look sheepish, if anything.

for some reason, your words make kazuha feel the same way. that's the heart of the issue, isn't it? he wants not just kenji, but everyone else who may see you to know that you're completely off-limits. not even he knew he was capable of feeling so possessive.

you don't seem bothered by it, however. you seem... satisfied. you smile. "i'm yours, kazuha," you affirm. "from now until forever."

he leans in and presses a kiss to your forehead. forever may sound like a long time, but it's enough to send his heart aflutter. he's never going to lose you to anyone else.

(when the two of you leave your cabin, you run into kenji. kazuha takes great pride in watching the recruit's eyes blow wide when he catches sight of the marks on your skin. and to the surprise of no one, he suddenly improves in his combat skills. so much so, in fact, that he doesn't need any more one-on-one training.)

✦ i am so SO sorry for all this. the ending is messy, i know.. kinda outta order, but hey, it's done! i'm proud of the rest of it, okay?

#[ ✍️🏽 — scribbles! ] #genshin impact x reader #genshin x reader #kaedehara kazuha #kaedehara kazuha x reader #kazuha x reader #WHAT A MONSTER!!

[middleschoolfursona]

hi this is my lbog to post my art to

asks: allowed and encourages (ill usually draw somethin for you)

private messages: no

info regarding use and interaction under cut. all just in case, i havent had to practice it.

read it if youre about to ask about reuploads, ToS, content warnings or any other questions.

reminder reupload/repost =/= reblog

reupload: image downloaded or copied and reposted on a separate blog by a separate person

reblog: using the in-site function to "re-blog" my posts.

My art may contain strong or offensive language, mature topics, comic nudity, graphic violence and bright or flashing colors, and more potentially triggering or upsetting content. Interaction with my artwork is consent to this content. if you cannot consent to this content, do not interact with this profile. i am not at 'fault' for you finding this content.

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my art may not be used regardless of credit for profit by anyone other than me or the rightful owner of the piece if it was commissioned works.

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free lineart "bases" do not need permission to be edited. The edited versions may be uploaded anywhere, but please link back to me. (if on toyhouse, choose "onsite artist" and put in my tag @ togainunochi. no not offsite link. all other sites please link back to this blog.)

edits made to my art by 3rd parties do not reflect my personal standings, interests or engagement in any topics, political alignments or statements.

the interests, personal standings, engagement or political alignments of any reuploaders do not reflect my own.

Reblogging my works is consenting to interaction with me.

i do not block people who conflict with myself. my art can be viewed by anyone. (if you have me in your 'DNI' i will not interact further, but i will also not block or alert you. its not my reasonability, and i hope your interaction with me helps open your mind to the lives and experiences of other people.)

i do not engage in callouts/bewares. the only exception to this is if anyone ever writes one about me, i may engage to write a response / clear up the confusion. but if you have a problem with me, please just be mature and ask me about it. and do so in a normal and mature way. (leave the accusatory tone and bad faith and insults at the door. its probably just a misunderstanding.)

the art style on this blog fluxuates because i have DID. i sometimes refer to this as multiple personalities, i know thats not the "correct" term.

speaking of, i will not and do not engage in "syscourse". frankly i dont care about other people's multiplicity, its also not my place or temperament to publicly announce i know more about their brain than they do. if i see someone i think is being distruthful, i simply say to myself "well i dont agree" and move on with my life. my disorder existing is not consent to crazy internet discourse.

all my art is pngs and jpgs and gifs and therefore unable to consent to anything as they are not sentient. I, as the artist, is the one who controls that consent. Not image files, and not you. My word is final.

If you own a design by me and upload it to toyhouse, please do not hide it from me.

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the interests, personal standings, engagement or political alignments of anyone interacting with my works do not reflect my own.

consenting to a trade of art or designs with me consents to knowing all results are final- you cannot "steal back" designs from me if you dont like how i use them or make the development of disliking me personally.

tracing and referencing my art is allowed so long as i am credited via linking back (offsite) or tagged (onsite) or added as artist credit (toyhouse)

i have intellectual disability and learning disability (not specifying), my spelling and grammar is not always correct. I do what i can to fix it with a few reviews before posting, but MSPaint does not have a feature for spellcheck, so usually images with text in them are "wrong." they should be legible so it shouldnt be an issue.

THIS LIST MAY BE UPDATED AT ANY TIME

[cryptidofthekeys]

Ah

fgjdkslgfjdfsd I swear to god,, I love it when people reblog my stories and put things in the tags,, I am a h e a v y tag checker jfhgkdljfgds I w i l l see and I will appreciate (without uh username dropping just in case) but you know who you are :)

djfkjgdfks i m just,, I fuckin hate poachers- I hope uh that didnt trigger you or anything tho! bc uh if I write anymore shit with poachers in em, if ya need me to future tag that I will btw! Just lemme know!

but also fuckin bastards 100% deserved every bit of what they got,, and on the plus side- Pipi is safe and mama/dada (whichever one ya wanna call em doesnt matter lmao) got some snacks! ...And Pipi saved you from a misunderstanding and becoming a snack

EL PIPI IS HERE TO STAY- you may hold gently, Sneo wont mind im sure and Pipi is v content to just go ‘pi!’ and nuzzle you- must protecc baby, keep him safe n warm but anyways fgjkdljgfdlfs Im so glad you liked it!!!

#not gonna username drop or anything like that but you know who you are #I see you- first n foremost- also love your content secondly- fdhjkjfgdks thank you!!! #I always adore seeing stuff like this in the tags!! #tbh while nothing's set in stone yet im highkey thinking about writing more in the future #...bc I uh- listen I grew very attached to Pipi and im not letting him become a throwaway character #...also again if you need any future stuff tagged with a tw for poachers lemme know and I'll keep that in mind! #bc im sure I'll write more cryptid Sneo stuff in the future- whether it be expanding upon this or somethin else

[shmreduplication]

every time i don't like a movie i like to feel vindication by going thru the tag and seeing other people's reviews (if I like the movie then i'm just looking for gifsets to reblog)

this got long so it's under a readmore. baseically everyone si wrong about what's wrong with this movie but it doesn't matter because no one should watch it

most of the complaints from people who didn't like it are about the masturbation scenes except they're all wrong about what the issue is wrt those scenes. Her masturbating is not a big deal regardless of her mental age. The actual issue is that she orgasms immediately, i mean like you're not going to hit a bullseye the first time you pick up a gun because you don't know how to aim it ykwim

and then the people who like it are complainging abotu other people misunderstanding that it's a happy ending and it'sa feminist story about a woman gaining autonomy......yeah they're also wrong. If a parent is abusive to their child and then the child follows in their footsteps when they reach adulthood, that is imo de facto not a happy ending and inherently denies her own autonomy becuase she is only searching to get more of what she already knows rather than spending any time doing internal reflection of what she likes/wants

and the other complaint from people who lik eit about people who don't like it are saying 'they just don't understand it's a satire! everythign they're complaining about in the movie isn't serious because it's a satire!'. OK not everything in a satire is the satire part of the satire. Crazy Ex-Girlfriend is a satire but that doesn't mean Borderline Personality Disorder isn't real or isn't serious because it's talked about in cxg. CXG is a satire and it contains satire and it contains conversations about bpd and if someone says "i didn't like how cxg talked about bpd" you can't say "oh well it's a satire". Jokes use exaggerations and unreality but in between that is real things that do exist and critique of those things can't be covered by the excuse that "it's satire". Like chickens, from the infamous "why did the chicken cross the road", are real and exist and are not immune to criticism. This is how jokes work

so like if everyone on tumblr is wrong about everything that's wrong in Poor Things it makes me feel like am i the only person (besides my sister who recommended it to me) who actually watchied this fucking film? I actually kinda hope so becuase it sucked

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Hue and Cry XIV

Warnings: non-consent sex and rape (series), violence, thoughts of self-harm and suicide, depression, some triggers might not be fully tagged.

This is dark!medieval!Bucky Barnes x reader and explicit. 18+ only.  Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

Synopsis: It’s the final day of the tournament and all are holding their breath to see who prevails.

Thanks to everyone and thanks in advance for all your feedback. :)

I really hope you enjoy. 💋

<3 Let me know what you think with a like or reblog or reply or an ask! Love ya!

The arena was buoyant on the final day of the tournament. The most awaited event, the joust, was finally come. As Lord Barnes would once more be among the competitors, you were left on your own in the box with the rest of the ladies and their queen. Most of the noblemen were listed for the sport, Barnes, Rogers, Stark, and even the king.

You didn’t watch as the names were announced and the banners presented before the games commenced. Your attention wasn’t even drawn as the first clashed with their blunted staffs and galloping horses. It was much more perilous than the other contests.

You stayed away from the other women. You were not interested in humouring the queen’s false kindness nor were you interested in their chatter of things that hardly mattered to you. Sewing, birthing, loving; you didn’t care for any of it. You didn’t care for them or the men on the field. You cared for nothing in this bleak world.

As Barnes took to the saddle for his first opponent, you glanced down lazily but found your eyes drawn to clouds instead. It was bitterly cold under the grey sky, streaked with umbrous and ominous wisps. It would likely snow soon as if to mark the grand finale.

You tucked your hands into your sleeves and hugged yourself alone on the bench. You were drawn from your glowering by the rustle of skirts. The queen sat beside you and let out an airy sigh.

“Thankfully, my brother has kept clear of conflict,” she said, “in fact, he’s hardly spared another snarl for the visiting Baron.”

“Your majesty,” you muttered as the flag was waved and the horses barrelled at each other and the men pointed their long poles.

“Unless you count this,” she mused as his pole broke off the armour of the other men and sent his adversary sprawling and the other horse whinnying in a panic. You lowered your eyes meekly. “He will be eager to be away and I do hope you aid him in a speedy departure. The baron is expected to remain in the capital for the winter.”

“Yes, he is want to be gone back to the castle,” you assured her.

“It would be tragic if you were to be snowed in here. Very inconvenient and costly at that.”

“Certainly, your majesty,” you said flatly.

“You understand the urgency that will follow in the coming days,” she intoned.

“I understand but you do seem to misunderstand your brother. To think that I have any hold over him is farcical. He does as he pleases. He is a duke, I am a displaced chambermaid. That is all it is… your majesty.”

“You do not speak as a chambermaid,” she replied sharply, “my brother favours you but he still cannot overrule me, understood?”

“Your majesty, I understand my place completely,” you ceded, “would I be remiss to excuse myself?”

“For what means?”

“To find a commode,” you answered, “these game do carry on and I am distracted by my humanly needs.”

“Go off then,” she stood, “you are rather dour today. You would cast a mood over us all if you languish thus.”

“Your majesty,” you rose and made your way to the doors as she rejoined her ladies and gave a forced giggle as they welcomed her. You wondered how the nobles were trained so well in lies. Was it in their books or did their tutors include it in their curricula?

You descended the stairs without aim. You had no need of the commode, only an excuse. You stepped out into the lower stands and peered out at the field. In that moment, you could be gone. You could disappear and be away from all this misery.

You scoffed at yourself and leaned against the wooden planks. He’d find you again. You couldn’t make it far enough before he sniffed you out again. You weren’t stupid enough to try it twice, even at such an opportune moment. You would only earn yourself further punishment.

“Is something amusing, my lady?” you stood straight and looked startled to the man who emerged from the shadows of the stairway. Lord Zemo smirked and came to stand arm to arm with you as he looked out across the stadium.

“My lord, I was only watching the field,” you lied, “thinking.”

“Ah, yes, these games, how violent,” he remarked, “where I am from, we have festivals before tournaments. Singing, dancing, poetry, theatre… I suppose that is just as silly as all this.”

“It is… a privilege to be able to afford silliness,” you said, “to not be the one cleaning up after all of it and yet… so very pointless.”

He nodded and grumbled as he considered your words, “very true. Wise, even. I think that after one has seen how grave things can be, these affairs become less and less entertaining. It is almost sickening to think of them, let alone attend them. Why should men play at war as if it were fun?”

You peeked over at him. He was here because he once fought those men down on the field with real steel and armour. It was rather grim to think of. “I did not think of it like that but I suppose you are right. I know little of war, however, my lord.”

“You know of pain, though,” he said, “it is painted on you as much as those battle scars carried by veterans like your beloved Barnes.”

You were silent. You stared up at the sky again, the endless grey, the half-finished canvas.

“Beloved? Perhaps that is the wrong word for him. I see little affection there. I sense it is not an arrangement you asked for.”

“Does it matter if it is?” you shook your head, “My lord, you waste your breath on little more than a servant. I suffer Lord Barnes the same as any, I am no help to you.”

“Help? I have no desire to change my standing with Barnes, I am not so foolish as that,” he turned to face you, “Have none ever taken interest in you as your own being?”

“I am a servant. I am not my own being,” you murmured, “my lord, if you would, I should return to my party.”

“As you will,” he said dolefully, “it was a pleasure to meet again.”

“Was it?” you asked as you turned to go.

“It is always a relief to speak of anything but politics or gold,” he said, “and yes, you served me well in this conversation. As you said, that is all you are worth.”

You left him but didn’t ascend back to the box. You continued down the steps until you reached the final landing. You looked up and sat on the lowest stair. A moment of peace before you had to go back. To not think for a single second.

🏰

You listened to the raucous voices of the audience. You didn’t want to move from that spot. You didn’t want to go back to it all. You just wanted to stay on that step forever. But you knew you had to go. You knew you had to get up.

You lifted yourself wearily but your foot only hovered above the bottom stair. You heard more voices, and an angry one as the crowd bang and buzzed. You followed the lower sounds, the singular conversations yelled through the din. You ventured down the tunnel that led beneath the stands.

Horse kicked and snorted as you came into the area meant for competitors. Men sat and stood with blood on brow and lip. Those who’d already lost, many as the final face-off was about to commence. You looked around but did not see Lord Barnes. Perhaps he was on the other side or even looking for you.

You walked the perimeter of the large space and a familiar face caught your eye. Peter rubbed his shoulder as he muttered, his aunt and uncle sat with him as the former checked the cut on his chin. You felt the same stabbing in your chest as the night before. Before you could think, you were marching towards him.

You skidded to a halt before him and gulped. You didn’t know what to say, you only knew how you felt. He looked over at you as May and Benjamin followed his gaze. You wavered and blinked away the tears that threatened.

“I did want to be friends but I stayed away to protect you, Peter,” you said, “did you have to be so cruel?”

“What? I--” he stood and winced as he jarred his shoulder, “I didn’t-- I wasn’t--”

“I know what I am and I know we cannot be friends but could it have hurt to let me think ‘what if’?” You quivered.

“No, my lady, I--”

“You know I’m not a lady. No need to treat me like one now. I heard you last night. I didn’t come to change your mind, I’m not so simple as that. I only came-- well, I don’t know why, but perhaps I only wanted to say to one person how they hurt me. Perhaps I wanted to just once be able to speak my part and that I can do because I know I will never see you again.”

You brushed past him and he reached for your arm as he stammered, “please, don’t, I was l--”

“Don’t,” you shrugged him off and stomped on as the figures around you blurred and the anger and despair swelled in your head.

You followed the noise of the crowd. They were hungry for blood. If that was what they wanted, they would have it. 

You pushed out from behind the curtain and the wood and dirt vibrated from the cacophony. You saw Lord Barnes in his saddle as he was handed his pole and his competitor, Lord Rogers, as he took his own. Their attendants checked the horse and took them to their marks.

You quaked as the ocean of voice rolled over you and you crept out along the wall. All were entranced by the two dukes as they readied for their signal. Barnes silver armour was dented and dinged from his former bouts and Rogers golden armour was just as scuffed. The two men steadied their steeds and the crowd fell into a hush of anticipation.

The red cloth dropped and the riders galloped at each other across the field. The hooves dusted up the cold dirt, through blood stains left throughout the day, and the crash that came sent up another cheer through the crowd. 

Wooden slivers exploded around Barnes and Rogers was pushed back against his horse as his own shield was deflected. Both men kept astride and righted themselves as they rode back to their posts and again, their liveried attendants approached to calm their horses and fix their dressings.

They would go again and again, until one of them was tossed from their saddle or worse. You began to breathe heavily as you paced along the wall and the lords were handed new shields. You readied and watched the man in gray lift the rag. You began to run before it was even visible to the crowd.

You heard the horses barreling at each other as you did the same. You closed your eyes as you got closer to the lanes and you tossed back your arms as you threw yourself forward. A heavy and hard force hit you and several crushing blows landed across your body as the horse trampled over you and overturned.

You croaked as you were left in the dirt. The eerie silence that followed was void of the bouncing excitement. It was broken only by the screaming of the injured horse and the confused voices of those on the field. You heard that familiar deep groan, of pain, not delight this time.

You rasped and gasped as your chest ached and your bones throbbed. Your limbs were filled with sand and your head pounding. There were shadows all around you as you wheezed and you smiled as you tasted blood on your tongue. You began to laugh as your eyelids drooped and blacked out the arena.

“Don’t move her!” A voice called as someone touched your arm. It was broken, you were sure of it. It didn’t matter, they couldn’t fix you. Not your arm, none of it.

You laughed louder and louder as you heard more footsteps. It was all so funny. You were free! Your eyes rolled back and your mind flickered. Just before the flame gave its last lick, you heard his voice. The gravity of it gave you peace.

“Is she alive? Is she alive!? Help her! Help her!”

Lord Barnes could demand as he did for all he had but in this, he could not be mollified.

#bucky barnes #dark bucky barnes #dark!bucky barnes #bucky barnes x reader #fic #series #hue and cry #dark fic #dark!fic #medieval au #au #medieval!au #peter parker #sam wilson #steve rogers #helmut zemo #baron zemo #spider-man #falcon #winter soldier #captain america

[lys-lilac]

My top 5 Voltage Inc. characters

A/N- First of all, thank you so much for 52 followers! I am so grateful that people respond to my posts, interact with me and support me. So here is a little celebratory post for this. Hope you enjoy participating in it. Also, feel free to reach out to me! Alright, let’s tag along!

Rules- Tell me your top 5 Voltage Inc characters. Just reblog, and share your favorites. Description may/may not be added. Anyone can participate! 

Starting from me, I have,

5. Igarashi Kota (Scandal in the Spotlight)

Even though I was hesitant at first from the title, I decided to proceed with him after reading his description. But it was way much better than expected. Kota is a genius. He can memorise lines in a go. An amazing idol and actor. One may feel at start that he is a cold and aloof character, but knowing his past and struggles will make your thinking go through a 180 degree flip. He is bad in expressing his feelings, that’s why described as a cat. (When you try to be close to him, he will shove you away with his claws, but if you don’t, he will slowly approach you)  His personality softens when he meets MC. When it came to confession in last chapter, it was really amazing. I loved how he helped MC to not depend on others. Also, extremely cute when blushes. Pfftt...

(don’t go with the line, it’s just a play.)

4. Kyogoku Sentaro (Romance MD: Always on Call)

An amazing pediatrician, member of EICU and a black hearted liar. Expert in his career, an amazing surgeon at the age of 31 only. Appears to to super friendly to talk to, but wait and watch. Dedication towards Kasumi? Pfft, no. His high level teasing nature interested me. I have played Kasumi’s main route, and I absolutely loved his becoming a volcano out of jealousy, throwing ridiculous jokes on MC and what not. But, his backstory and the struggles he went through will enthrall you. I am guessing, even though he appears like that from outside, he must be sensitive from his inner side. If time permits someday, I will definitely go though his super happy ending route.

(thanks to @tsumikashares​ for the above CG! That cute face and smile in the second... )

3. Maruyama Takao (My Forged Wedding)

A random recommendation I got. He is different from the general otome characters, but his realistic nature is what interested me. A professional attorney in Law Firm, along with having sweet pinch of homely nature. When MC’s marriage with her first so called fiancé gets called off before meeting with her parents, Takado pretends to be her fiancé and they start living together. As a friend, he slowly mends MC’s broken heart, and gradually falls in love with her.  In a chapter, there arises some severe problems to him and he even gets ready to break up with MC for protecting her. What I liked here is his support towards her to continue her favorite hobby as her job, and the warm moment and time they spend every morning, making traditional breakfast and nutritional shake. What a peaceful life, it’s simple, realistic and that’s why more appealing.

2.Hidaka Ayato (My Last First Kiss)

A top actor of Japan with extra-ordinary acting skills. This character. I was amazed with how much he supports MC(even if you don’t choose his path). She and he are childhood friends, and had studied together till high school. MC had a crush on someone, but when she gets rejected, he comes by to her support. And this happens two times. To cheer her up, all her friends along with Ayato gather together, just like best buddies. Ayato even helps her to become an ideal woman for finding a boyfriend by training her, going on dates with her, shopping for her and so on. That just showed how much he cares for her as a best friend. Slowly, this blossoms to love. The bonds of friendship, reunion and happiness through it shines through this story. 

and with this, moving on to the top...

1.  Kasumi Toshiki (Romance MD: Always on Call)

A genius cardiovascular surgeon, head of EICU, chief of medicine and a prodigy. In the start, he appears to be unapproachable, with a cold and intimidating aura. But beneath that lies a sensitive soul which he has encapsulated in the walls. What makes him get to the top of my list is the amount of inspiration he gives in his as well as in other character’s routes, the support and faith he slowly builds in MC, the urge to protect her when he realizes he has fallen for her, and the extent of sacrifices he is ready to make for the ones he loves and holds dear.  He cares for all the characters equally. Also, even after some arguments and misunderstandings, he always appears to be calm, and that is only for MC’s sake. That is a unique thing I observed in his route. In the story, a little misunderstanding occurs in a certain chapter, and this guy even prepares himself to give up on her and just support her from behind. (T^T) I have many posts about his character analysis, story briefings and so on, so I will not write much here. In a sentence, he is a delicate cinnamon roll as well as a sublime surgeon, dark prince and an angel.

That’s it. So I tag- @miss-alien-pixel, @imoonlit-river, @rikumorimachisgirl, @windybirdboi, @kamyru, @voltage-vixen, @world-a-to-z​, @tsumikashares​, @silverheart1123, @kasumisnowdrop​​ and anyone else who wants to join! Please let me know so that I can tag you.

Until next time.

~Lys

#voltage inc #love 365 #scandal in the spotlight #my forged wedding #my last first kiss #Romance MD Always on Call #top 5 characters #100恋+ #100シーンの恋+