#have I mentioned I’m asexual lately? | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

j-onedrabbles · 5 months

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Eyoo it's me again.

So, ace thought/idea:

You're newly dating someone in skz, and well one thing leads to another and you start making out. And it gets sorta heated and so you suddenly push him off and get anxious because you don't know how to explain that you don't want to have sex, because well you're not even sure yourself.

And you almost end up leaving and running of cause well, you're so scared cause you really like him but he manages to stop you and ask you what happened.

Yeah, hope it makes sense, it is yet again 2 am... What's new right?

✧ PAIRING: LEE KNOW X GN!READER ✧ CW: MAKING OUT, MENTIONS OF SEX, ESTABLISHED RELATIONSHIP, ✧ WC: 0.7K ✧ NOTE:

Minho was a genuinely great person. Very considerate with everyone around him. That’s why Y/n liked him. He was always a gentleman to them whenever they hung out and went on dates.

Minho had kicked out the other boys in his dorm for a few hours so he and Y/n could have a peaceful night in. The two joked around and made dinner together before sitting down eating. Chatting about their week and possible future plans like trips and some things they had always wanted to do.

The dancer insisted on cleaning the dishes before the two retreated to the idols room. Spending the rest of their home date cuddling and watching movies. Pretty normal situation for the new couple, Minho having them pulled almost on top of him with one of his arms wrapped around them as they laid on his chest.

His hand ran up and down their arm mindlessly, occasionally pressing a kiss to the top of their head. Until those kisses became consistent, moving down from the top of their head onto their face making them look up at him.

“Hi kitten,” Minho smiled

“Hi bub,” Y/n replied

Minho turned on his side to face them before gently placing his lips on theirs. Y/n smiled into the kiss as they returned it. Both giggling in new love as Minho wrapped his arms around them and pulled them closer to his body. Y/n draped one arm over his shoulder and gently started playing with his hair.

Minho rolled onto his back and pulled them on top of him completely. Y/n placed their lips on either side of his hips to make themselves just a bit more comfortable, cupping his face in their hands too. His hands moved down to hold their hips as the kiss got more heated.

Minho sat up which shocked Y/n a little but not enough to pull away. Slowly they felt his hands move lower to grip their ass and slowly start rocking them against him.

Y/n pulled away and gently pushed his shoulders back aso he didn’t chase their lips. “It’s getting late,” Y/n said as they slowly got off his lap. Minho followed them with his eyes, a bit confused

“You alright kitten?” Minho followed them off the bed and out of the bedroom

“Yeah.” Minho picked up the hint of nervousness in their voice. He quickly got in front of them before getting to the front door.

“What’s wrong?” He asked

“Nothings wrong.”

“Kitten, if I crossed a line, tell me.”

Always a gentleman. That was Minho, joking around but always looking out for others. That’s why Y/n liked him so much.

“Can we sit and talk about it?” Y/n asked. Adulting meant talking about things, not getting scared and running away when you get scared.

“Of course,” Minho led them over to the couch. Sitting down and patiently waiting for them to talk.

“I’m sorry Min, but I just got a bit scared…”

“Don’t apologize for it. We all have limits. Just tell me what yours are. I want to make us work,” Minho rested a hand on their knee and gave a reassuring squeeze.

Y/n took a deep breath and looked at their boyfriend “I’m asexual and things just seemed like they were going that way in the bedroom and that’s why I tried to leave…”

“That’s when you don’t like sex? Right?” He asked, just to clarify.

“I don’t experience much sexual attraction towards others.”

“At all?”

“I don’t know honestly. I’ve never had much of a chance to figure out where I find myself on that spectrum.”

“If you want to explore that side, I’m here to help. I’m not trying to preassure you kitten, just know if you want to—”

“That I have you.” Y/n finished his sentace, smiling at how he was so calm and accepting of this information.

“What are you comfortable with?” The idol relaxed back against the couch, moving his hand from their knee to hold their waist.

“Everything we’ve been doing till now has been fine for me,” Y/n turned to him and laid against the couch, “Minus the grinding.”

“Still okay with making out? Me grabbing your butt?”

“Yeah. Just, be mindful?”

“I’ll do my best,” Minho assured her, “If you feel like I’m crossing a line, tap me twice, okay? I never want you to feel uncomfortable around me.”

“I appreciate it Min. A lot.”

Y/n kissed his cheek as they wrapped an arm around him. Minho smiled and gave them a peck on the lips, “Wanna go back to cuddling? Till you actually have to leave.”

“Yes please.”

M. LIST ✧ TIP JAR

T A G S ✧ @soulphoenix1618 @hanniemylovelyquokka @hyuneline @scarletbedlam @lillithathecat @cosniffee @caravm @queen-in-the-shadows @moonlight-the-writer @skzhoes @ultimatestayandminoronce @watermelon2319 @poody1608 @iadorethemskz @goblinracha @weakforskz @scallywag1299 @2mins-world @iloveksmohsomuch @stickycrusadecollective @lacie220900 @your-platonic-gay-lover @lvlnijiro @smally97 @lynlyndoll @bbokari711 @liknws @nicora04 @hrskt @lookitsjess @5starlee @hopefulrascalstatesmantoad @mini-mews @red-airhead @minhwa @soupbinlily @caitlyn98s @alex--awesome--22 @emyferra08 @yeetmehome @hyunjinswifeee @greyyeti @beautifulcolorgarden @ylixbok @tinyelfperson @mixtape-racha @lovesunshinefelix @princelingperfect @slay-and-gay @the-sweetest-rose

#: ̗̀➛karmic writes #stray kids #stray kids x reader #skz x reader #stray kids fluff #skz fluff #lee know x reader #lee know x reader fluff #stray kids x reader fluff #skz x reader fluff #lee know imagines #lee know fluff

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fanby-fckry · 23 days

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How to Support Your Asexual Friend (Who May or May Not Know He’s Ace)

Day 5 of Ace Alastor Week: Friendship Friday

Please ignore that I didn’t post on tumblr, yesterday, I promise I didn’t forget/give up, I’m just indecisive and late. I’ve got one up on AO3, but can’t post it here until I figure out what I’m doing.

Word Count: 2,942

Chapters: 1/1

Fandom: Hazbin Hotel (Cartoon)

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Archive Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Additional Warnings: Implied/Referenced Canon-Typical Violence

Relationships: Alastor & Charlie Magne | Morningstar & Vaggie, Alastor & Charlie Magne | Morningstar, Alastor & Vaggie (Hazbin Hotel), Charlie Magne | Morningstar/Vaggie

Characters: Charlie Magne | Morningstar, Vaggie (Hazbin Hotel), Alastor (Hazbin Hotel), Mentioned Rosie (Hazbin Hotel)

Additional Tags: Canon Compliant, (mostly), Episode: s01e07 Hello Rosie! (Hazbin Hotel), then timeskip to, Post-Season/Series 01, Fluff and Humor, Fluff, Humor, Attempt at Humor, Light Angst, Friendship, Developing Friendships, Asexual Alastor (Hazbin Hotel), Aromantic Asexual Alastor (Hazbin Hotel), Alastor is Bad at Feelings (Hazbin Hotel), Alastor Has a Heart (Hazbin Hotel), Alastor Being an Idiot (Hazbin Hotel), Alastor Being Alastor (Hazbin Hotel), Good Friend Charlie Magne | Morningstar, Supportive Charlie Magne, Supportive Charlie Magne | Morningstar, Charlie Magne | Morningstar is Bad at Feelings, yeah I said it. she’s not good at them either she just has more of them, Fallen Angel Vaggie (Hazbin Hotel), Good Significant Other Vaggie (Hazbin Hotel), Soft Vaggie (Hazbin Hotel), Protective Vaggie (Hazbin Hotel), Asexuality, Ace Community Inside Jokes, Unreliable Narrator, Misunderstandings, Baking, Stress Baking, Talking, Conversations, Crying, Implied/Referenced Canon-Typical Violence

Series: Part 5 of Fanby’s Ace Alastor Week 2024 ( <- Prev || Next -> ) || Part 2 of Piece of Cake! ( <- Prev || )

Summary:

“Remember how you said we could work on supporting Alastor and his ace identity after we survived Extermination Day?” Charlie asked.

Vaggie nodded. “Mhmm.”

“Well, we survived!” Charlie gave an awkward, celebratory thumbs up. “So, now I wanna show my support! Be the good, allo-bisexual ally I know I can be!”

“By baking another cake,” Vaggie deadpanned.

“Yup!”

Charlie wants to show some support for Alastor and his asexuality, and decides that the best way to do so is by baking him a cake several cakes! Vaggie does her best to support Charlie in supporting Alastor.

There are only two problems:

Alastor doesn’t like cake.

Alastor doesn’t realize he’s ace.

Better on AO3

Charlie flopped down on her and Vaggie’s shared bed. “You should’ve seen them, Vaggie!” she said. “They were dancing, and singing, and really, really – honestly kind of creepily interested in the idea of getting to eat the invading Exorcists. Especially their wings.”

Charlie grimaced and Vaggie made a mental note not to expose her newly regrown wings while in Cannibal town.

“But I mean, that’s good, right?” Charlie said, sounding like she was trying to convince herself as well as her girlfriend. “Because they’re on our side!”

Vaggie nodded, intently. “Bloodthirsty troops are the most effective kind, sweetie,” she assured her.

Charlie sighed. “Thanks,” she said, smiling softly. “Rosie’s really nice, though.”

“She is?”

“Mhmm,” Charlie hummed. “I didn’t know what to think of her at first because she made a joke about Alastor and I dating and how I’m too young for him, which: First, no. Not dating. I have an amazing girlfriend and I don’t think about Alastor like that, anyway. And second, even if we were dating, I’m pretty sure I’m older than him? Chronologically, at least.”

Vaggie tried her best to follow along with Charlie’s mile a minute rant, but she felt like she was missing some very important context.

“But then she told us she was just kidding, which was a huge relief, and she called Alastor an ace in the hole-”

“Wait,” Vaggie interrupted. “Alastor’s asexual?”

“Huh?” Charlie tilted her head.

“His best friend, who’s known him for decades, called him ace.”

“Ohh.” Charlie shook her head. “No, no, she called him ‘an ace in the hole.’ You know, like a secret weapon.”

“What did she say, exactly?” Vaggie asked.

Charlie thought for a moment. “She made a comment about how I’m ‘too young’ for him, as if we were dating, and then she said, ‘I’m just kidding. I know you’re an ace in the hole.’”

“So, in the context of explaining why it’s obvious that you two aren’t dating,” Vaggie said, slowly. “She called Alastor ace.”

“Yup!” Charlie said, then paused.

Vaggie could see the exact moment the penny dropped.

“Oh,” Charlie said. “Oh shit. Alastor’s ace.”

“Probably aro, too,” Vaggie pointed out. “I bet Rosie said ‘ace’ instead of ‘aroace’ because it fit the pun better.”

Charlie put a hand under her chin. “You know, that actually makes a lot of things make sense,” she said. “I didn’t wanna assume anything, but Al’s kinda…”

Vaggie finished Charlie’s sentence. “Flamboyant in a way that makes gaydar go haywire?”

“Mhmm.”

“Yeah, Angel’s brought that up a few times.” Vaggie sighed. “And by ‘brought up’ I mean complained about. He thinks Alastor is either straight or an incredibly repressed gay man and can’t figure out which.”

“The answer is neither, apparently,” Vaggie added. “Not that it’s any of his business. Or ours for that matter.”

Charlie gasped. “Should we do another lesson on boundaries?” she asked.

Charlie’s words ran together as question after question came tumbling out of her mouth. “What about amatonormativity and asexual/aromantic erasure in the LGBTQIA+ community? Is there a way I can support Alastor without outing him? What if-”

Vaggie kissed her, and Charlie’s questions melted into a pleased hum against her girlfriend’s lips.

“I think we can figure that out later,” Vaggie said once the kiss broke. “Let’s just focus on protecting the hotel, and if we’re alive afterwards, then we can work on supporting Alastor, ok?”

Charlie nodded. “Ok.” She bit her lip. “I guess it’s just that…”

Vaggie waited patiently while Charlie wrung her hands together.

Charlie took a breath. “It’s easier to think about making new workshops and being a good ally to other parts of the community than it is to think about this!” She gestured vaguely to, well, everything.

“I wish I could go back in time before that meeting with Adam.” Charlie sniffled, and Vaggie grabbed a box of tissues from their bedside table. “Before I fucked everything up.”

Vaggie placed a hand on Charlie’s shoulder and handed her a tissue.

“You did not fuck up,” Vaggie said. “Adam is an asshole. He’s always been an asshole. And Heaven is…”

Vaggie hesitated. She couldn’t think of the right words to describe her feelings about Heaven, even now that Charlie knew what she was.

“We’re going to get through this,” she said instead, and kissed Charlie’s tear-stained cheeks. “Together.”

“Together,” Charlie repeated.

In Charlie’s defense, the first cake was incidental.

They’d just finished rebuilding the hotel – which meant a brand new kitchen! – when Alastor made his triumphant return. And what better way to celebrate the hotel’s completion and her friend’s return than with a cake?

Charlie never actually saw Alastor eat the cake, but he did accept it. And Charlie didn’t find it in the trash, later, so she was going to consider that a success!

The second cake… Well, that was intentional.

“Do we have any purple food coloring?” Charlie asked, rummaging around through the – somehow, already disorganized – kitchen cabinets.

“I’m not sure,” Vaggie said. “But I could run to the store and buy you some if you want, hon.”

“Thanks!” Charlie kept looking. “What about gray? Do they sell gray food coloring or should I just use a smaller portion of black?”

“Uh, Charlie?”

Charlie turned around. “Hm?”

Vaggie was sitting at the island, surrounded by various bakeware and ingredients Charlie had set out. “What are you making that uses all of this” – Vaggie gestured to the somewhat-organized chaos in front of her – “And purple and gray food coloring?”

“I’m baking a cake,” Charlie said cheerfully. “For Alastor.”

“Another one?” Vaggie asked.

“No,” Charlie said, before correcting herself. “Well, ok, yes, but… Let me explain!”

Charlie took a break from her hunt for purple and gray food coloring to join Vaggie at the island.

“I’m listening.”

“Remember how you said we could work on supporting Alastor and his ace identity after we survived Extermination Day?” Charlie asked.

Vaggie nodded. “Mhmm.”

“Well, we survived!” Charlie gave an awkward, celebratory thumbs up. “So, now I wanna show my support! Be the good, allo-bisexual ally I know I can be!”

“By baking another cake,” Vaggie deadpanned.

“Yup!”

“Why?”

Charlie took a deep breath. “Ok, I started by voogling ‘how to support my asexual friend’ and I found a website called HAVEN – Hell’s Asexual Visibility and Education Network, which is actually Hell’s version of a website from the Living World called AVEN that asexual Sinners created for Hell’s ace community – and I kind of wound up going down a rabbit hole about ace culture.”

“Apparently cake is a pretty big thing in the ace community. It’s a…” Charlie hesitated. “Mee-mee?” she guessed. “May-may? I’ve never actually heard anyone say that word out loud…”

“Meme,” Vaggie supplied. “Long E sound.”

“Thank you!” Charlie leaned across the island to give her a quick kiss.

“But yeah, it’s a meme,” Charlie said, pronouncing it correctly that time. “Because a lot of asexual people would rather have cake than have sex. So the saying, ‘I’d rather have cake,’ and cake in general became a whole thing.”

“And the food coloring?”

Charlie grinned so hard her cheeks started to hurt. “I’m gonna bake four layers in the colors of the asexual pride flag!”

Vaggie looked at her fondly. “I love you,” she said.

Charlie’s smile somehow got even brighter. “I love you too!”

Charlie squeaked. “This is gonna be amazing!” she said, bouncing in her seat. “I’m going to get a good grade in allyship! Something that is both normal to want and possible to achieve!”

Vaggie shook her head and sighed, a soft smile gracing her adorable face. “Alright,” she said. “Let’s bake a cake.”

Why the hell was Charlie baking Alastor so many cakes?

The first one, that made sense. Alastor had just returned after being mortally wounded in the battle to defend the hotel, and dare he say it, a celebration was in order.

Of course, he would’ve preferred a strong drink or some freshly killed venison, but he graciously accepted the gift he was given. He didn’t eat it of course, but it would’ve been rude to reject Charlie’s misguided attempt at a welcome home gift.

But then came a second. And a third. And a fourth, fifth, sixth cake. What the fuck was going on?

Was there a joke he wasn’t in on? Had Charlie developed some sort of dessert-related madness? Was this her latest hairbrained scheme to send Damned Souls skyward?

It would all come to an end if he would just turn the damned things down. He knew that, but…

Charlie stood in front of Alastor, holding the sixth – the sixth – cake, smiling like the sun he hadn’t seen since 1933. He took the cake, thanked her, and left.

Something had to be done about this. He needed to go see Rosie.

Vaggie walked warily into the hotel’s kitchen. It looked like some kind of culinary warzone. Mixing bowls and baking sheets were piled precariously on top of egg cartons and sacks of flour.

“Hey, hon? Charlie? Sweetie?”

Charlie popped her head up from behind one of the towers of bakeware. There was purple cake batter on her cheek. “Yes?”

“Don’t you think this is getting to be a little…”

Somewhere, something crashed to the ground. Vaggie hoped it wasn’t something breakable. Niffty had a habit of collecting shards of broken glass or ceramic and turning them into makeshift weaponry.

“Much?” Vaggie finished.

Charlie tilted her head to the side. “What do you mean?”

Vaggie pursed her lips. “It’s just that…”

A bag of sugar fell from its perch. The only thing that stopped it from hitting Charlie in the face was Vaggie’s quick reflexes.

Vaggie opened her mouth to speak, but was interrupted yet again. Not by another object falling from the crumbling towers, but by a different kind of chaos all together.

Alastor returned to the hotel at a completely reasonable rate.

Which is to say, as fast as demonically possible. That was a very reasonable rate considering he was facing the possibility of a seventh cake he could neither eat nor refuse.

When he arrived at the hotel, the first thing he heard was something made of glass being shattered on the kitchen floor. He could only hope that it was Husker drinking while cooking or Niffty breaking glassware to have a mess to clean and sharp objects to play with.

Much to Alastor’s chagrin, it was neither.

The kitchen was a disaster. How Charlie had managed to get it in such a state was beyond him. Alastor had cooked dinner for the other hotel residents just a few nights ago, and while the organizational system was somewhat of a mess – as is often the case when you have seven cooks in the kitchen – it wasn’t anywhere near the catastrophic levels of the kitchen’s current state.

Vaggie was balancing on her toes, wings outstretched, with one arm in the air, holding a bag of sugar over Charlie’s head.

“Hello there, ladies!” Alastor made his presence known before Vaggie could do something ridiculously sappy like pour sugar on Charlie’s head and call her ‘sweet.’

“Am I interrupting something?” he asked, knowing damned well that he was.

“No!” Charlie said at the same time that Vaggie groaned, “Yes!”

“Ah, good to see we’re all on the same page!”

Charlie smiled nervously while Vaggie grumbled something under her breath in Spanish. Alastor didn’t speak Spanish, but he was fairly certain that whatever she was saying was both directed at him and incredibly rude. He magnanimously decided to ignore it.

“Charlie,” Alastor said, allowing his voice to drop slightly. “If I might have a word.”

“Uh, yeah, sure, of course!” Charlie made her way through the absolute nightmare that was the hotel’s kitchen, occasionally cursing when something crashed to the ground in her wake.

Vaggie glared daggers at Alastor from over Charlie’s shoulder. And yet, there was something beneath it. Some sense of desperateness. Interesting… He should follow up on that.

“What did you wanna talk about, Al?” Charlie asked once she was finally standing face to face with Alastor.

“I’d like to discuss the cakes.”

Charlie’s face lit up, and from across the room, that look of desperation and wrath on Vaggie’s face intensified. Very interesting indeed.

Almost interesting to make him pause his attempts to stop this nonsense long enough to figure out how he could use it to his advantage. But not quite.

“While I appreciate the gesture, I must admit, I don’t have much of a sweet tooth.” Alastor adjusted his monocle, trying to ignore the way Charlie’s cheery demeanor had started to droop.

He could only hope that Rosie was right about this.

“In fact, I’d rather have garlic bread,” Alastor said, repeating the exact words Rosie had used.

Instantly, Charlie’s expression changed. To what was debatable. Alastor thought he saw about ten different emotions run across her face, most of which he had never had the displeasure of feeling, himself.

When she finally did speak, the words came rushing out all at once. “Oh my goodness, I didn’t mean to assume!”

Charlie reached out as if to touch him, then pulled back, balling her hands into fists and holding them rigid against her sides. Smart girl.

“I’m so, so sorry, Alastor!” she said, barely pausing for breath. “Of course, I know aces aren’t a monolith, I just thought that…”

Charlie continued speaking, but Alastor wasn’t paying very close attention. Whatever she was saying was of little importance and made even less sense.

However, there was one word that kept catching his ear, persistently clamoring across his consciousness like a single note out of tune in an otherwise unremarkable song. And like an off-key note, it didn’t seem to fit within the context provided for it.

Which begged the question…

Why did everyone keep calling him ‘ace?’

Oh, Charlie was starting to look teary eyed. He’d better tune back in.

“…and I just wanna be a good friend.” Charlie’s voice wavered. Her knuckles were somehow even whiter than usual as she fought to keep her hands at her sides, and tears were already starting to spill down her cheeks.

Alastor made an executive decision to cut the waterworks off before they could truly begin. Of course, this would mean he’d be liable for Charlie’s famous ‘happy tears,’ but well… anything was better than this.

Alastor reached out and hugged Charlie, who promptly collapsed onto his shoulder and began to cry what he hoped were the aforementioned ‘happy tears.’

“You are a good friend, my dear,” he said, which triggered another – happy? – sob.

Alastor looked to Vaggie for help. He was out of his depth, here. Somehow Rosie’s advice had both made things better and worse.

Vaggie – whether for the sake of her sweetheart or to put Alastor out of his misery – met them in the doorway.

Alastor was just about to pass Charlie off to Vaggie when she lifted her head off of his shoulder.

Charlie looked up at Alastor with tears in her eyes and a smile on her face. “Thank you, Alastor,” she said. “That means a lot.”

Alastor’s own smile softened. “I do consider you a friend, Charlie,” he said, his voice almost entirely unfiltered.

Charlie made a truly pathetic – and somewhat endearing – whimpering sound, and between that and her expression, Alastor suspected that the ‘happy tears’ which had finally begun to stem were threatening to return in full force.

“That’s quite enough of that!” Alastor spun Charlie out of his arms and into Vaggie’s.

“I think I’ve had enough cake to last a lifetime, and enough sentimentality to last two!” Alastor made a show of dusting himself off. Well, it was mostly for show. His shoulder was wet, and a bit of magic goes a long way when combined with such a gesture.

“If you do decide to transfer your obsessive baking fixation into garlic bread, please limit yourself to once a month or less,” Alastor said casually. And then, with just a hint of darkness, “Lest I lose my appetite for that as well.”

Charlie sniffled and wiped her tears away with her palms. Vaggie held her protectively, wings still visible. Her feathers were fluffed the way Husker’s sometimes got when he was feeling rebellious, and she looked like she was poised to kill should Charlie give the word.

Instead, Charlie gave quite the opposite! She giggled, a much more appealing sound than all the sobbing – happy or otherwise. “I can do that,” she said.

Both Alastor and Vaggie let out a sigh of relief.

Oh, so that’s what the look was about. Vaggie was as disturbed by Charlie’s baking mania as Alastor was.

Alastor probably could’ve used that to his advantage – and potentially gotten another Deal out of it – but he was honestly just grateful that the whole thing was finished.

Alastor and Vaggie shared a brief and odd moment of comradery, silently celebrating the end of a hell within Hell.

“Well, it was nice chatting with you both,” Alastor said, more than ready to leave both the conversation and the kitchen. “I’m happy we could put this whole cake confusion behind us!”

“Agreed,” Vaggie said. Her tone and expression spoke volumes. Clearly she’d witnessed horrors beyond Alastor’s comprehension. Which is saying a lot considering the Eldritch nature of his abilities.

Charlie laughed and hummed an, “Mhmm,” in agreement.

Alastor was going to consider that a success!

Alastor hummed along to a song he’d strung together from the airwaves as he made his exit – read, ‘escape’ – from the kitchen.

That had gone smoother than expected, all things considered.

“Ha!” he laughed to himself. Piece of cake.

#fanby’s fuckery #fanby’s fics #acealastorweek2024 #hazbin hotel #alastor #charlie morningstar #vaggie #rosie hazbin hotel #aroace alastor #asexual alastor #aromantic alastor #chaggie

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theresthesnitch · 1 year

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Pinned

Based on the website mentioned because I haven't been able to stop thinking about it since I found it. Thanks to @r33sespieces for reading over it for me.

Sirius found the website on a Tuesday afternoon.

He eyed it suspiciously at first. Kids nowadays were terrible about putting everything about their lives online. He could remember the days of the early internet, with a/s/l and the expectation that it was entirely a lie. No one knew who you were on the internet.

So, if this was just one more way for the stupid kids to put their personal information on the internet, then he wanted no part in it.

He clicked anyway.

Sirius found himself flooded with messages. Queer people from all over the world filling the map with queer love and queer experiences. He couldn’t stop clicking on messages.

where you first told me you loved me. we aren’t together anymore but you were one of the greatest loves of my life.

My first kiss with my best friend. We did it for a scavenger hunt photo. We both love each other. But when it comes to being in love, she fell for me too soon and I fell for her too late.

We kissed secretly between the isles of this walmart.

First time I said I was gay out loud.

Learned that I’m asexual, not broken <3

Surrounded by happy out gay people for the first time, I finally felt like it was okay.

I survived this town, and I will survive the rest.

I exist.

Sirius couldn’t stop reading the messages. Tears were streaming down his face. Nothing in his life ever made him feel more valid and more seen than looking at all the pins. He wasn’t alone. He was never alone.

Sirius wanted to leave his mark too.

He considered several options. His parents house, with a celebratory “I survived” message. Or Hogwarts Academy, where he’d first kissed a boy and realized that he wanted to kiss more boys. Or the pub down the road from the Potters’ house, where he’d first told James that he was gay the summer after he left home.

None of them felt as right as Remus.

He hadn’t seen Remus in years, but he still thought about him every day. He fell in love with Remus when they were both still kids–somewhere around age thirteen when Remus punched his distant cousin when he called Sirius the family disappointment. He’d pined for Remus for years before they finally found each other, and dated for a while before they’d managed to fuck it up.

There were a dozen places he could have pinned for Remus, each of them significant in their own way.

Sirius didn’t have to think about it at all. He scrolled through the countryside until he found the tiny, sparsely populated area in Wales where Remus’s family lived. It was here, under the old oak tree in their backyard when Sirius came to visit in after their fifth year, that SIrius had finally confessed his feelings for Remus and they shared the most idyllic first kiss.

Only, there was already a pin there.

We kissed here for the first time, and I realized I’d never want anyone as much as I wanted you. I wish I’d never let you go. I wish we’d tried harder. I wish we could have another chance.

Sirius forgot how to breathe. Remus missed him too. Remus thought of him too.

Sirius had no choice. He had to find Remus. Maybe they could have a second chance after all.

#pinned #wolfstar #wolfstar minific #queering the map #second chances #lost love #muggle au #snitchwrites

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archivomeow · 1 month

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yelena belova is aroace.

Yelena Belova is canonically aroace.

Lately people dismissing that has been getting on my nerves VERY much, so I’m making this post lol.

First the terminology:

Aromantic — an individual who doesn’t experience romantic attraction.

Asexual — an individual that doesn’t experience sexual attraction.

AroSpec — spectrum that includes different aromantic identities, from aros who don’t feel romantic attraction to those who do under certain circumstances or rarely.

AceSpec — spectrum that includes different asexual identities, from aces who don’t feel sexual attraction to those who do under certain circumstances or rarely.

So first thing i will put here is this;

This in my humble opinion should be enough of a proof, but apparently it is not.

First this part of an interview, the person speaking is a creator/co-creator of Yelena. She says she is most likely to identify as asexual than to follow Nat’s romantic path. Hinting at both aro & ace.

So in the comics Yelena shows no interest dating, as far as i am aware she has no romantic interest in the comics. She is repulsed by sex, she calls herself „nothing” referring to her sexual identity.

As much as many like to say she is a lesbian, she is not, how fucking stupid you sound, honestly. She says it herself, if I said I’m not a lesbian, would you question it? No? Then don’t question her, she says she is not a lesbian, she has no wlw storyline. Drop the fucking lesbian hc.

Some possible foreshadowing in the MCU

1. When she is talking with a widow and a former Ana (show: Hawkeye), there is a line said by the widow accompanying her: „…you and Natasha can be reunited again and live your sex in the city fantasy”.

^ Yelena leaves the room, as soon as the word „sex” is mentioned her face drops, then we have this scene where she’s looking at herself in the mirror.

2. When talking about kids and family (movie: Black Widow) she mentions she wants a dog.

3. When describing „fake story” of her life she made up because her birth certificate was burnt she says Natasha has a husband and talks about her parents, but mentions nothing about her husband or possible spouses or children. (movie: Black Widow)

4. Yelena tends to wear a lot of aro/ace flag colors.

green coat & purple lipstick (green = aro | purple = ace)

yellow & blue colors = aroace flag

Overall Yelena wears a lot of green and white and black together, aromantic flag colors.

^^ can you call that „over the top?” yeah sure… let me remind yall something else:

when enid wore this sweather yall went WILD.

but when Yelena is wearing aroace colors all the time it’s called „reaching”…?

I will continue this with even more, because while you can agree with me and say she is aroace, still there will be people who claim she is aroace, agree, but then this fucking argument comes into place:

„AROS CAN DATE”

„ACES CAN FUCK”

„QPRS EXIST”

Do you see what’s wrong with those sentences? Nothing.

There’s a „but” thoooo…

There is nothing wrong with those, but using those arguments to totally ignore her sexuality ship her and treat her like suddenly she is allo is not it.

Yelena has shown no interest in dating or sex, we can assume she is sex-repulsed as she has shows repulsion to sex and she is to me at least implied to be romance-repulsed.

And we’ve found the problem.

Sex Repulsed Aces are as you can imagine repulsed by sex. Romance Repulsed Aros are repulsed by romance… So how is someone repulsed by said things engaging in said interaction and is not repulsed by them???

I think it’s a great idea to write her into said situations to show she is repulsed and to show it’s okay, because her life, my life, the lives of other uninterested in such thing aro/ace, our lives don’t end here.

Using how some people navigate through their sexuality to justify this is wrong.

You wouldn’t write a lesbian with a man, because bi lesbians exist and she may be a bi lesbian, right?

^ just an fyi, that’s an example, the term bi-lesbian is extremely harmful to both bisexuals and lesbians. check out this for more.

The QPR dilemma is that you don’t understand what a QPR is… it’s not more than friends…it’s not in the middle, it’s out of the regular binary of relationships. Relationships I actually think are QPRs:

Friends with benefits — purely platonic, but you fuck.

Situationship — just friends that do romantic stuff together, unless you call it a romantic relationship, with the other person agreeing on that, it is not one.

QPRs are amazing and beautiful, but it’s not always about fucking and kissing and „acting like a couple” but being a QPR. It can be being friends and living together, not temporary. It can be being friends and co-parenting. It can be many things.

But as I said Yelena is repulsed, why would someone repulsed by sex/romance engage in said thing happily with no doubts, fears, negative feelings just because it’s a qpr, so it’s suddenly fine…?

This is for now all I have to say about this.

As an AroAce, who desires no romantic relationship or a sexual one please please please let us have this representation, for once in our fucking lives.

MORE OF MY POSTS ON YELENA BEING AROACE AND ARO/ACE LINKS LINKED HERE:

answering an anon-ask.

more talk about the comic panel.

harmful aro stereotypes.

shipping aroaces + yelena belova.

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allzelemonz · 4 months

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Finding and Feeling (2.5): The Threat and A Talk

Pairing Type: M/M Rating: M/Reference to sex Warnings: Internalized homophobia, mentions of torture, gelding, asexual character, everyone is queer, platonic relationships, Background and Mentioned Relationships: Javier & Bill, Micah & Bill, Kieran & Mary-Beth, Kieran & Karen, Mary-Beth & Karen, Charles/Arthur, Dutch/Hosea Summary: Bill and Kieran come to terms with things on their own. A/N: You can pry aroace Javier from my cold, dead hands. Other Chapters

Micah can’t find that dumb, drunk, bear of a man anywhere. Lately Bill’s been going out to cause mayhem with him and, as much as Micah doesn’t want to admit it, he enjoys the company. He does find Javier counting cash that Micah’s about three-quarters sure was won off Bill, so he stops to lean on the table and stare.

Javier looks up at him. “Micah.” He mutters.

“Seen Bill?” Micah asks simply, tilting his head to peer at the bills in the other’s hand.

“Maybe.” Javier looks back down at his cash. “What do you want with him?”

“None a’ yer damn business.”

When Javier looks back up, Micah has disappeared. But he did have a point, Bill is nowhere to be found. Annoyed that he’s worried, Javier tucks his cash away and walks out towards the woods. It doesn’t take him long to find Bill. He’s slumped against a napping Brown Jack, out like a flame in the cold just as his horse is. Javier shakes his head, looking around the woods before kicking lightly at Bill’s boot.

“¡Buenos días!” Javier yells in a whisper when his friend stirs, wanting to annoy Bill without spooking the horse. He settles himself down next to the idiot he had held a knife to just yesterday, offering him his flask. “Micah was looking for you.”

Bill grunts, snatching the flask and taking a swig.

“You hear what happened with Arthur and little Jack.”

Bill groans. “Pinkerton bastards.”

Javier shakes his head. “How the hell did they find us?”

Bill grunts again.

Javier looks over at him. “What’s wrong with you?”

“Nothin’.”

“Bullshit.” Javier mutters. “Tell me, cabrón. I’m great with secrets.”

Bill is quiet for a moment. He takes his hat off his head and sets it on his knee so he can run a hand through his hair. “Did somethin’ stupid.”

“Don’t you always?” Javier chuckles.

“Ain’t funny.”

“Okay.” Javier puts his hands up. “Sorry. Tell me.”

Bill fiddles with the seam of a patch on his pants. “Think ‘m sick.”

“You don’t look sick.” Javier says, tilting his head to look at his friend’s face. “Maybe hungover—”

“Not that kinda sick!” Bill grumbles, putting his head in his hands. “Think I… Think I’m an invert.”

Javier goes quiet, simply staring at his friend. Of course Javier knows, most of the camp has their suspicions, but Javier prides himself on knowing things of romance. Bill has never shown interest in women, not that Javier has seen. He’s passed up some of the prettiest working girls in favor of staring at some other cowboy in countless saloons. Javier isn’t stupid. Which is why he also knows what this is about. That O’Driscoll rat.

“Tell me what you did.” Javier speaks evenly, trying to take on the tone he would want if he ever told his secrets.

Bill sits up, leaning back against the still sleeping Brown Jack with a sigh. “I got drunk n’... went out ta the woods…”

“Ah…” Javier licks his lips as he tries to think of what to say. “And you thought of him?”

Bill nods.

“I don’t think there's anything wrong with that.” Javier says carefully, knowing his friend’s short fuse. “I think of men on occasion.”

Bill looks over at him like he’s crazy and Javier manages a smile.

“Was that all?” Javier asks, fishing cigarettes from his pocket. “Because that’s not very stupid.”

Bill takes the cigarette he’s offered. “You don’t think it’s stupid?”

“No.” Javier says. “Do you think it’s stupid that I don’t find people desirable at all?”

Bill glances at Javier with furrowed brows.

“Just saying.” Javier shrugs. “We have some things in common. I don’t find women attractive either, or men. It’s just a feeling, who cares.”

“Yer confusin’.”

Javier chuckles.

“I mean…” Bill scrunches his nose as he thinks. “What kinda man doesn’t like—”

“Ah, ah.” Javier shakes his head. “We are both men, amigo. Some people are just particular.” He looks over at Bill. “Some men like women, some like men, some like both, some like neither.”

“An’ you…”

“Like neither.” Javier shrugs. “But I still have fun when I want. Nothing wrong with doing something you enjoy.” Javier watches Bill process this for a while before he stubs out his cigarette and stands. “I don’t know what you did to the kid, but you should probably try and win him back, yes?”

Bill nods. “It’s really… okay?”

Javier scoffs. “No one cares. Arthur and Charles have been sharing a bed since Colter, have you not noticed?”

“They…?” Bill nutters.

Javier shrugs. “Not that I care. Just means I get a tent all to myself.”

“But it ain’t—”

“Ain’t what?” Javier interrupts. “Right? Moral? Who gives a shit, idiota. We’re outlaws.”

Bill just sits there, staring at the ground.

“What? You think Dutch hasn’t slept with Hosea before?”

Bill looks up at him with wide eyes.

“You think old Grimshaw hasn’t gone off with a working girl?” Javier laughs. “Or that Sean hasn’t made out with some poor bastard in a saloon?” He gestures broadly at the woods around him. “We’re free out here. No one can touch us.”

Bill stares for a while as Javier steals back his flask, then he speaks quietly. “Help me.”

“With what?” Javier asks.

“With the O’Driscoll.” Bill mutters. “I did some shit an’... I damn well don’t know how ta flirt.”

Javier chuckles. “Let’s go buy him something.”

“Why?”

“He’s got nothing.” Javier shrugs. “He needs things and you have money.”

“L-Like what?”

“He likes horses, yes?”

Bill nods.

“Then a brush.” Javier shrugs. “Or whatever shit you get for this spoiled brat.” He laughs, patting Brown Jack's flank.

Bill smiles to himself. “Could get him some treats fer that little walker a’ his.”

“That’s it, cabrón” Javier grins. “I’ll go with you, I need some things for Boaz anyway.”

Karen’s second cup of morning coffee is something folks know not to get in the way of. Most folks anyway. Just as she opens her mouth to tell off the little baby O’Driscoll, she hears the tiny sniffle. And as much as Karen prides herself on being one of the toughest women she’s ever met, it breaks her heart a little.

“What’s wrong?” She asks, keeping the edge in her voice.

Kieran wipes his face before he turns around, attempting a smile. “N-Nothin’’s wrong, Miss… Just—”

Before he can think of a lie, Karen shouts. “Mary-Beth! Get over here, Kieran’s cryin’!”

“I-I ain’t—”

“Hush, darlin’.” Karen sighs.

Mary-Beth rushes over, stopping only to be pulled along by Karen as she pushes Kieran over to the rock he usually sits at. Karen pushes Kieran down to sit on the rock and kneels in front of him, taking his hands in hers like he’s a little boy that had his toy stolen. Mary-Beth sits down beside him, putting an arm over his shoulders in an attempt to comfort.

“”Now, what’s wrong?” Karen asks again, still not quite using a friendly tone.

Kieran sniffles. “It’s nothin’ fer you ladies ta trouble yourselves with.”

“Bullshit.” Karen mutters.

Mary-Beth squeezes Kieran tight and tries to speak as softly as she can. “Somethin’ with Bill, ain’t it?”

Kieran feels a shiver go through him, fearful thoughts rocketing around his head. “H-How did ya—”

“Oh, please!” Karen chuckles. “Whole damn camp can see the way ya stare at ‘em.”

“Karen.” Mary-Beth hisses. “Be nice.”

“Just saying… there was that one time Bill had his union suit with that missin’ button, I think Kieran here nearly passed out.”

Mary-Beth ignores her, turning back to Kieran and trying to be gentle. “You wanna talk about it?”

Kieran shakes his head.

“Might be a good thing.” Mary-Beth presses, hating to see Kieran suffer more than he already has. “Please?”

Kieran shakes when he exhales, as if he was holding in toxic air. “H-He…”

Karen grips his hand, squeezing comfortingly as she gets her sensibility back.

“H-He came up ta me a few days ago… with them tongs…”

“Oh…” Mary-Beth pulls Kieran closer. “You poor thing, Kieran. Are you alright?”

He nods.

“‘m gonna kill that bastard.” Karen mutters.

“How ‘bout I go get Charles an’ he can take ya out ridin’?” Mary-Beth suggests. “Ya like Charles, don’t ya?”

Kieran nods. Charles is one of the few people that was never cruel to him, one of the few he doesn’t have ready reason to be afraid of.

“We’d go, but…” Karen looks off towards camp. “Grimshaw’ll have our heads if laundry ain’t done today.”

“‘s alright.” Kieran sniffles.

Mary-Beth and Karen walk him over to Charles who looks up with kind eyes. He agrees without much convincing to talk Kieran out for a little riding, saying it’ll be good for Branwen to stretch his legs. Kieran drys his face for the last time, already happy to get out of camp for a while. As he nears Branwen he notices a new pair of saddlebags on his saddle and when he reaches inside he finds a new brush on one side and a healthy amount of treats on the other.

A few yards away, Bill grips the dominos table so hard his knuckles turn white. Javier sits across from him, sharpening a knife.

“He like it?” Javier asks, looking up at Bill.

Bill smiles, looking away from the O’Driscoll—Kieran. He’s working on that. “He’s smilin’.” Bill mutters. “Givin’ the horse a peppermint.”

“Good.” Javier sighs. “Just keep spoiling him and he’ll warm up.”

“I feel silly.” Bill mumbles.

“That’s love, amigo.” Javier chuckles. “Warm, fuzzy, and silly.”

#burn month #rdr2 #red dead redemption 2 #slow burn #fanfic #fanfiction #bill williamson #kieran duffy #kieran duffy x bill williamson #bieran

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thethreebroomsticksficfest · 1 year

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The Three Broomsticks Pride Fest

Attention pub patrons, Madam Rosmerta is utterly delighted to announce The Three Broomsticks Pride Fest! This fest is all about celebrating the LGBTQ+ community, and we welcome any writers old and new to join in the fun! ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜

But Rosmerta, how do you write canon-compliant fics about LBGTQ+ characters when there’s no explicit representation of that community in the books?

I’m glad you asked! TTB is a canon-compliant Discord server and therefore hosts canon-compliant fests; however, that’s not meant to be restrictive. Just because a character is not stated to be gay or asexual or nonbinary doesn’t mean they’re not! All that canon-compliance means at TTB is that the fic doesn’t alter canon events, including endgame pairings mentioned in the epilogue.

Here are some examples of LGBTQ+ characterisations and ships that would be considered canon-compliant by TTB definition (these aren’t prompts or an exhaustive list by any means, just some examples):

Harry, Ginny, Hermione, or Ron discovering bisexuality later in life (men and women being married isn’t inherently heterosexual, afterall)

A next gen character being trans or nonbinary

Asexual Charlie Weasley

Same-sex ships that don’t alter endgame couples; there are too many to list, but here’s a few: Dean/Seamus, Minerva/Poppy, Sirius/Remus, Lavender/Parvati, Katie/Alicia, Albus/Scorpius

Harry and Hermione having a conversation/realisation about Grindeldore

Everyone has their own slightly different definitions of canon-compliancy, so if you have any questions or suggestions, please don’t hesitate to send us an ask or reach out to any mod. We also encourage you to join our Discord server (click here to join), which is active during and between fests with mini-events, writing chats, an HP book club, and general shenanigans.

Fest submissions will be due in late May and posting will begin on June 1st (see important dates below for more details).

🌈 Rules:

At least one LGBTQ+ character must be prominently featured

Submissions must be canon-compliant (see FAQs below for more details!)

Each submission should be at least 1000 words

No sexual content featuring minors (this doesn’t include kissing or vague references with no actual description)

🌈 Important Dates:

May 26th – submission deadline

May 29th – writers informed when their fic(s) will be revealed

June 1st – first fic is revealed

🌈 FAQ:

What counts as canon-compliant?

Canon-compliancy has a broad scope and we’re not here to gatekeep! For the purposes of this fest, we consider the Harry Potter books 1-7 as canon and the “end game” pairings. The rest is up to you - for example, if you wish to write a post-Hogwarts story, you do not have to take Cursed Child or post-Potter interview information as canon if you don’t want to, but you should follow the pairings established in the epilogue.

Can I submit a multi-chapter?

You can absolutely submit the start of a new multi-chapter; however, you cannot submit a new chapter from an already published WIP.

How should I submit?

Submit to the AO3 collection and/or to Tumblr with the following information:

Title:

Author:

Main Character(s):

Pairing(s):

Rating:

Warning(s):

If you are submitting to our collection, it will be private and anonymous until we release your story.

How long will the fest go? What days of the week will fics be posted?

That depends on how many we get! After all fics are submitted, the mods will make a schedule, and we will contact you on May 29th to let you know when you can expect your fic to go up. The first fic will for sure be up on June 1st though!

I have another question!

No problem! Drop us an ask and we’ll get back to you.

#ttb #pride fest #ttb pride fest #harry potter #harry potter fic fest #harry potter fanfiction #hp fanfic #canon compliant

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sailor-aviator · 1 month

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I’m so glad you’re calling this out! People don’t respect boundaries and were made to look like the villains.

Tbh, I deleted the post you’re talking about after some confusion. I don’t think I worded some of it correctly, so I’ll rewrite it here.

I love supporting my friends and their fics. I love chatting with the fellow content creators one on one about their fics. I love talking about new ideas about the fics they want to write. When I reblog a fic with something along the lines of “Ah!! I’m so excited you’ve finally posted this! I’ve been waiting!!” It’s not because they mentioned it once on their blog, it’s literally because I have been talking to them in private chats about the work.

When someone I don’t really talk to or have never had a conversation with apart from the occasional one sentence reblog or comment starts tagging me in things? That’s where I have an issue. My blog is not a bulletin board or ad space for people to put their fics on. I try to reblog fics that don’t have very many notes, I really do (I’ve also been going through a bit of a reader’s block lately). I remember what it was like first starting out on this site as a first time fic author and being so excited to get ten notes on my fic. Now I’m nearing a milestone! I did that by tagging my fics with the proper hashtags and interacting with people who chose to read them. I never in a million years thought so many of you would want to read my silly little stories.

So believe me when I say, I totally get feeling wanting more people to see your fics. I wish more people saw mine too, but I’m very grateful for the people who stumble upon them and take the time to read them.

I also think it’s very interesting that when authors and other content creators on here set boundaries, we get such immense flashback from readers. We’re people, y’all, and the fact that we have to keep reminding everyone about that fact is, quite frankly, worrisome. We are not machines. We do not do this for a living. I do this for fun, and when I get push back for trying to set a boundary, whatever that boundary may be, it makes this less fun.

Again, I can’t speak for the other writers on there (but believe me when I say several conversations have been had), but for me personally? It all goes back to the fact that content creators are being stripped of their humanity. I remember how fun and interactive fandom used to be before everything started being monetized. I used to get asks left and right without even having written fanfic! Fandom used to be a huge community filled with laughter and debates like “did these two characters bang?” “That character is asexual and here’s why” “I wrote a fic that I think you might like and here’s the link. No pressure to read it though!”, not “here’s another update. Here’s another update.” “You haven’t posted in a couple of days, when are we getting an update?” “Will you read this and reblog it?”

Idk, I had this conversation the other day, and maybe I just need to accept the fact that fandom as I knew it is dead and gone. In another life, I would have really loved giggling about fics and headcanons with you all.

Anyway, can we please stop making content creators out to be the villains when they ask to be treated like human beings and not soulless machines?

#answered #anonymous #hey nonny nonny #this was long #long post #thanks for letting me use this post to vent Nonny #I know I didn’t say everything I wanted to say but yeah #it’s very nuanced as well so don’t read this and be like oh she’s seeing things as black and white #because they aren’t

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kalorphic · 1 year

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SNIPPET FOR AROMANTIC!MC’S

CW: talking about experiences with aphobia and the mental toll that took on MC when learning more about their sexuality, mentions of the aphobia within the lgbtq+ community (taken from personal experience).

This is just one version of this conversation that MC has with Luisa about this (and there will be Asexual versions as well). So, please don’t send me asks saying that you had a totally different experience, ergo can I change this, this, and this. However, constructive feedback is welcomed as always.

“Coming out as Aromantic was one of the hardest things I’ve ever to do.”

Luisa tilts her head in a silent question and you sigh, thinking how best to explain this. Then again, if anyone could understand, it would be Luisa.

“As many people do, I struggled for a long time with my sexuality. When I was younger, I was adamant I was straight, and then I hit my late teens and realised that I was just as attracted to people of the same gender as to those of different genders,” you say. “So, I figured ‘okay, I’m Bi, or maybe even Pan’, but honestly that didn’t feel right either. I thought people were good looking, but I never felt any inclination to actually date them, even when all my friends started getting into relationships.

It wasn’t until my early twenties that I came to the startling realisation that I was Aromantic, it’s also when I realised that I didn’t actually know much about it because no one ever seemed to talk about it,” you clench your fists in your lap. “I made the mistake of trying to learn more about it on social media platforms first, and was left feeling exhausted and numb. My sexuality was apparently nothing more than a joke, it didn’t exist, I was just frigid or hadn’t found the right person. People didn’t want Aromantics, or Asexuals, to be included in the LGBTQ+ label because it was supposedly a disservice to the community. Because even to people who were supposed to be apart of something beautiful and supportive hated us.”

You can feel your throat clogging, and cough trying to clear it, “It’s just,” you try for a smile, but by the look on Luisa’s face, you don’t succeed. “When the whole world is telling you that you shouldn’t exist, that you don’t belong…it’s hard not to feel like you’re broken.”

“You’re not broken, [name],” Luisa said, the tone of her voice leaving no room for arguments. “You and everyone else who identifies as Aromantic or Asexual are some of the strongest and bravest people that I have ever known.”

She places a hand on your shoulder and gently squeezes, “people can say what they like, but we exist, and we deserve to exist and be respected. Anyone who says otherwise, doesn’t deserve to have you in their life, and I assure you, that would truly be their loss.”

#demo snippet #aromantic mc #tw aphobia #ro: luisa #queued post

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purple-plum-petals · 3 months

Note

hi! i’d like a matchup for FNAF SB if you would!

i’m a femme-presenting non-binary gal, and i have Dissociative Identity Disorder. i also have depression, anxiety/paranoia, ADHD, autism, C-PTSD, fibromyalgia, and hypermobility.

most of the time i’m pretty chill, but i can be very chaotic and occasionally murderous is prompted to be /hj

some things i like are reading, playing video games, dinosaurs, collecting knives, watching tv, sleeping, stuffed animals, and much more.

i’m asexual and biromantic with a male lean, but the gender of my match doesn’t really matter.

i’m not a huge fan of children but i can usually handle them as long as they aren’t super-duper loud because it overstimulates me.

i’m a night person and tend to stay up into the afterhours, and even if i do get a good nights sleep i’m always tired.

uh, i think that’s pretty much it? thanks so much! <3

Thank you for sending in a match-up; I think that either Montgomery Gator or Moon would be good matches for you!

Monty likes your personality a lot since sometimes he needs someone calm to help rope his own mood back in when he feels himself slipping into a not-so-great mindset, but it's nice knowing you can also be occasionally chaotic so you two get into trouble with a certain bear animatronic together. He feels a swell of pride in his chest whenever you mention your love of dinosaurs since he's pretty much the closest thing to them in appearance out of all the Fazbear animatronics (sure, he's technically an alligator, but he's sure the plushie of himself he got for you could pass as an awesome dinosaur to add to your stuffed animal collection). The two of you would probably spend late nights together playing video games; Monty prefers action or fighting games himself, but he's happy to play whatever you enjoy with only some huffing and puffing on the matter (be warned, however, that Monty is a pretty competitive bot and will not hold back if you two play together). If you're ever too tired or are physically unable to do certain things, Monty is happy to help you with whatever you need done that day; he's the strongest animatronic at the Pizzaplex and he'd like to use that aspect of himself to do something good for once by giving you an extra hand if you'd like him to.

Moon can relate to you on a variety of different levels from your diagnoses to your overall personality since he, too, is relatively calm and collected but can be prompted to be a bit more gremlin-like and chaotic if he feels comfortable enough to do so around you (and occasionally murderous as well to people who don't follow the rules /srs). Moon would love to be able to sit beside you while you two read books together, not talking and just enjoying each other's company while you flip through the pages of whatever book is in your hands. When it comes to the children, Moon understands that you can become overstimulated by the level of noise they sometimes produce and will quietly guide you to another room so you can have time to de-stimulate in peace away from everyone else (I personally headcanon that Moon has a hard time dealing with loud/energetic kids so he understands completely). He loves that you get enough rest and that you like sleeping but, if you're not feeling well-rested afterward, then there's probably something wrong; Moon enjoys being able to spend time with you late into the night, but his programming and care for you precede that, so be prepared to be given handfuls of Moondrops to aid in your sleep.

#🌸 . Plum Writes #🌿 . Plum Speaks #💌 . Anon #🎉 . 400 Followers Match-Maker Event!#fnaf security breach #montgomery gator #moon #moondrop

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rockinginneverland · 8 months

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See it’s the fact that more and more lately I’ve been angrier and angrier at the idea of romantic love or romantic relationships and I find myself frustrated not being able to understand this obsession with it or just sometimes the idea of romance grossed me out, there are many types of love but this society os obsessed with romantic love though they just like calling it love thought love is a vast term. When I was younger, must have been middle school maybe, I used to write letters for my friends and I would write quotes about how much they meant to me and how important they were but I guess somewhere along the way I stopped because I soon realized that people looked down on me for it because in their eyes I must have been in love with whomever I was giving letters to and they were scandalized by the prospect of a girl loving another girl romantically, though even if they was the case which it wasn’t but even if that was the case why would that have been wrong? I never looked at someone romantically and I part of me always knew I must be asexual and later on aromantic even if at the time I didn’t have a name for it. So I guess I grew up not knowing how to show people outside of my family members affection because I was afraid it would be mistaken for romantic love, my kindness for flirting, my attention for interest in perusing someone romantically, I also want to add that I didn’t know then that I was autistic. So you see there’s always been this confusion in me on how to show love, show affection, angry at the pity stares people use to give me cause I’ve never had a boyfriend and years where going by and I was still single, of being asked when was I going to have a boyfriend and later on when was I getting married or if I wanted to. I remember one time my brother asked me if I was asexual and I remember saying that I wasn’t because I wanted a boyfriend which is bullshit because you can be asexual and have a boyfriend, not feeling romantic attraction towards someone is being aromantic, which like I mentioned I discovered I was too farther down the line. I felt alienated because I was never looking to date someone or had an interest in it but all around me that’s what people where doing but I will say I was longing from companionship though I guess people would automatically take that as romantic though is not, though I guess society has made that the default.

I hate saying that I’m aromantic asexual not because I’m ashamed of it but because I hate people’s reaction towards it, as if it’s heartbreaking to realize I don’t feel sexual nor romantic attraction towards people as if I’m broken for not feeling it as if I will never be complete because of it… as of how can’t I not want a boyfriend… how am I supposed to get married if I don’t go out there and meet people… why is it not cool, bet… why it always pity on people’s eyes or not believing me when I say I don’t feel sexual or romantic attraction… as if is not confusing enough for myself as it is to have to describe what it means to not feel something that you’ve never had in the first place, how do you explain the lack of something? I’ve always felt lonely really and now the more I realize how to me friendships have always had much more weight than romantic relationships because I’ve never cared for them, or how even sometimes I find myself questioning my feelings because of how ingrained this idea of romantic love is in society and then being angry with myself for invalidating my own feelings when I know them to be true. They say the first thought you have when it comes to something is what you’ve been taught you believe and the second is your reaction to what you believe to that subject of matter and now I understand why there is a war sometimes in my mind because society has taught me and made me believe that a woman and a man cannot be friends so I when I’m reading a book and I love these 2 people and the relationship they have, always friendships, my brain always has to throw this thought at me… oh so you ship them? As in romantically?… it angers me because that’s society speaking not me so I need to reiterate how there nothing more than friends even though I shouldn’t because why is it romantic love the default? And why is it that is only valid for these 2 people to be friends, man and woman, if they each have partners? Because otherwise they would fall in love with each other… BULLSHIT… it’s almost 6am and here I am rambling about romantic love and being aroace and how hard it is to let go of believes that have been engrained in our minds and how frustrating it is for me now that I finally found what I truly believe in and my true feeling on the matter, how I love friendships more than anything and how when reading books those are the ones that stick the most specially those that are so deep and beautiful and raw that people have the need to ask if they are romantic even though friendships can be just as strong and beautiful and raw as romantic relationships, how they can just be friendships and be all that… because those are the types of relationships I want… the ones that are everything but don’t have an ounce of romance in them, the ones that people want to romance code because that can’t just be friendships… I like those friendships because they defy societies views and expectations when it comes to relationships and what is deem romantic… see I’m petty sometimes. See in books relationships like this would be Fenrys and Aelin for example. Just friendship and the bond they have is just as strong and beautiful and raw and deep as the romantic one Aelin has with Rowan. A beautiful friendship nothing more, nothing less. I fuck with those relationships, the one line Aelin and Fenrys but then again some people reaction towards it turn me petty and make me angry to see how you only believe is posible because one of them already found a romantic partner, their romantic soulmate forever because other wise you would be the first to ship it and ask if the single one has feelings for the other instead of just understanding that the relationship between these 2 people can be just a FRIENDSHIP…

So I’m here at 6am being angry and frustrated with romantic love and wanting to throw hands because of how suffocated it makes me more and more each time… see some days I can picture it in theory but never in practice… I’m just tired of romantic love being the center of attention when it is not the only type of love there is… I want to write letters to people and have it just be affection not romantic just my way of showing I care, my way of showing I appreciate you… like k appreciate the moon and the stars and the clouds and how I love the owls and the foxes and the cats, how I’m in love with all that but never romantically… why would that be the default?

So here I am not knowing how to show love or affection feeling angry at romantic love and feeling lonely and tired and wanting companionship and deep friendships and how even though I’m disgusted sometimes with romantic love I’m not with love because there are many times of love… so I guess I will fall in love with myself and with museums and the world and nature and letters and writing and people but never romantically, no never romantically…

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mysicklove · 5 months

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hii i just kinda wanted to vent here if that’s okay,,

lately i had these suspicions that i might be asexual,, despite the fact that i yk read smut and i do enjoy it and all that but for some reason the idea of experiencing it doesn’t appeal to me,, in fact i might even say that “straight” sex (like penetration and like idk oral) with men specifically repulses me (tho other stuff like pegging for example don’t bother me as much), like more specifically the idea of being in one way or another submissive to a man infuriates me (no hate to anyone ofc that’s just an observation i made of myself personally) and idk i feel bad abt it for some reason cuz i feel left out but at the same time i just can’t bring myself to like it at all.. the idea of being with women doesn’t seem repulse me as much like i do like women and i don’t mind the idea of being with them but i feel like most attraction i feel towards ppl in general is almost always surface level (in real life) i think it’s called aesthetic attraction

this is all so confusing and idek what i’m getting at but yeah, like idk if i WANT to be ace cuz like i said i feel left out and i do enjoy consuming nsfw content, i’m a virgin so maybe it’s because of that (that i’m confused abt it) ? (am i gaslighting myself if i say that ?) also like idk if others would wanna be with someone who can’t provide in that category of the relationship ? (also another thing i don’t mind giving but i hate receiving ? which is another piece of lore (💀) i forgot to mention) like sex is sometimes used as a gateway for intimacy and i do crave that kind of connection with ppl,, i don’t wanna be left behind yk ?

anyWAYS that sounded like i’m listing symptoms so i can diagnosed sorry abt that but yeah i don’t really have anyone to talk to abt this so yea !

-🩰

i’m sorry lovely that must be really confusing for you. don’t ever feel the need to put label on yourself, bc that may just cause unnecessary stress. i honestly don’t have any advice 😰 but i am glad you felt comfortable sharing with me. you are always welcome to drop by my inbox, i will always listen. don’t overthink it!! don’t stress over it, although those r both easier said than done. i love u

#💌 - love letters #🩰 darling

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lexcat-11 · 4 months

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it’s a late night rambling about life stuff night. tumblrs basically an echo chamber for me so I don’t mind lol.

content warning for discussion of fatphobia & what could be considered disordered eating. stay safe if this does reach anyone at all <3

it’s crazy to me how I, fortunately, was able to grow up with very little internalized homophobia and to have had such positive representation and acceptance primarily on the internet but also irl. I consider myself a very rebellious person who won’t let anyone invalidate me when it comes to stuff like that. I love being a lesbian, I’m not ashamed to be asexual. That’s me and I know I’m valid. I love who I am in that regard.

But god damn on the opposite side of things internalized fatphobia has not nearly been as easy for me. I guess I gained exposure to it so young and so directly it makes sense but it’s everywhereee. Weight loss ads on the tv, not finding clothing sizes in stores or their patterns being carelessly made so they don’t fit, seats in theaters not fitting my legs, the lack of representation, the hatred and immediate association with “ugliness” or “failure” from so many close minded and unkind people, direct bullying even like a month ago.

like when I was in *preschool* I remember daydreaming about the stuff a stereotypical little girl does— princesses, magic, all that, and at five years old, in my own imagination, I’d stop and tell myself “I don’t look like me. I look like another girl who’s prettier because she’s not fat.” FIVE YEARS OLD

I just have so much grief for that little girl and just everyone who might have ever had to go through it. Bodies are treated like trends and so oversexualized and some people would rather wish for someone to harm themself than be unable to sexualize a thin body. And at five years old I didn’t believe I could be pretty unless I lost weight.

Caring so much about it is against my values. I don’t care what society says about my sexuality or interests! But I do care about this. And it sucksssss because why should it matter? What if my healthiest self is the heaviest? What if I don’t work out anymore because it became a form of self-punishment? Why should anyone get to comment on my health??? Why is my body any of your business??? It’s so disgusting not to even mention all of the overlaps with ableism, the impacts it has on the trans community, and fatphobia’s roots stemming from racism. Why is it regarded as so normal? Why are we making five year olds in preschool sitting in a circle on the mat on the floor daydream about being thinner so they could be pretty enough to be part of a story? I’m an adult and I still envy thin people so much. I want to have this confidence boost and wear things they are but I’ve been taught that my body looks wrong in them.

I’m genuinely trying to unlearn all of this. Again idk if anyone’s gonna read this but I feel like being open because I know it would help me to know I’m not alone. There are plus sized and fat-bodied individuals who look like me and I think they are so so beautiful and I don’t ever criticize them the way I do myself and I don’t understand why I’m so unkind to myself.

I’m gonna try to stop having such a negative relationship with food and scrutinizing myself. I’m not going to focus on exercising and burning calories but instead moving my body so that I feel good. I share the image of sculptures of Greek goddesses and the fact I am nourished and have energy is something to celebrate. I have a body that naturally gains and retains weight. I don’t want to spend my life fighting it and hating myself trying to chase love that I deserve to be shown without conditions. I am a human being. I am alive and my body is the least interesting thing about me.

#internalized fatphobia #tw fatphobia

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give-seconds · 1 year

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Kiss Me Like We’ll Never Have Sex

Summary: When you use Johnny and Ten’s shared computer to send an email, you see that one of the boys is researching rings. You automatically assume it is Johnny's, but when the truth comes out, you have to tell Ten some of the insecurities you hold in the relationship.

Pairing: Ten x female asexual reader, established relationship

Genre: Angst, fluff.

Warnings: mentions of sex but not mentions of past sex (if that makes sense). Not a warning but we all deserve someone like Ten in our life

Word count: 3.9k

I wrote this and meant to get it out for asexual awareness week but I only had the idea to make it for ace week the last two days. So I’m a few days late!! Thank you to @pastelsicheng for proofreading this for me <3

“Is someone planning on proposing soon?”

Ten feels his heart stop. How did you know? Did you find the ring? He thought he had hidden it well. How was he supposed to know you would look through his safe? How did you even know about the safe?

“I don’t - what do you mean?” he stutters, placing his arm around you. He inwardly facepalms at how nervous he sounds. If you didn’t suspect anything before, you’d sure be suspicious now.

“Johnny– is he proposing to his girlfriend soon?”

He breathes a sigh of relief. Thank god you had your oblivious moments.

“I don’t know. Why do you ask?”

“Well, the other day, while I was waiting for you to get back with the food, I remembered I had to email my professor and ask him about that abroad program. And I knew if I waited, I would forget. So I asked Johnny if I could use your guys’ computer, and when I opened it, I saw the search history. He was looking at engagement rings and how to pick the right one. Has he not mentioned anything to you about this? I thought best friends, especially ones that are roommates, told each other everything.”

Screw search history and screw Johnny’s once brilliant idea of only getting one computer to share. “Oh no, not that I’m aware of. Maybe he’s just waiting until he actually has the ring?”

“Okay, but when he does purpose, you have to secure me a position as one of the bridesmaids. As the future best man, it would be embarrassing if your girlfriend wasn’t one of the bridesmaids.”

Ten is thankful you aren’t considering the truth—that all the research was done by him to pick a ring for you.

“Yeah, of course. But there’s no guarantee I’ll be the best man.”

You laugh, lightly slapping his arm. “Don’t shut yourself down like that. Of course, you are going to be the best man. Johnny loves you.”

He snorts. “Yeah, yeah, you’re right. I am pretty great. Who wouldn’t want me to be their best man?”

“That’s the mindset. Now, shall we get this movie party started?”

—

“Johnny!” you call, running to catch up with him.

He smiles, stopping in his place to let you catch up. “Hey, y/n, how are you?”

“Pretty good, pretty good. So, any exciting news you want to tell your best friend-in-law?”

“Hate to break it to you, but I don’t think that is a real thing. And if it were a real thing, then I think you would need to be married to Ten.”

“Ah,” you tilt your head back dramatically, bringing your hand up to point at him, hoping to convince him you had caught him in the act. “Interesting choice of word. Married.”

He scrunches his face, lightly pushing down on your hand to lower it. “Okay, weirdo, I have no idea what you’re talking about, but it seems like you do. So why don’t you clue me in?”

“Look, John—”

“Johnny.”

“—John, you don’t need to play dumb with me.” You bring your left hand up to wiggle your ring finger. “I know everything.”

He laughs, grabbing your hand to pull you back into a walking pace. “I have class in like five minutes, and you’re not making any sense. So either start making sense or hit the road.”

You click your tongue, dramatically pulling your hand back. “Fine, be that way. And to think, I was starting to like you, John.”

“It’s Johnny. And I’ll see you later, crazy.”

—

“Can you believe it?” you announce, opening the door to Ten and Johnny’s apartment. Ten jumps, nervously shoving his phone into his back pocket. When he woke up this morning and decided today was the day to propose, he decided he would do it at the place you had your first date. He was just about to text you to meet him there, the ring already in his sweatshirt pocket, when you entered the apartment. “Johnny still won’t admit he’s planning on proposing.”

“Hey, great timing. I was just about to text you. How do you know this?”

“I passed him on my way here.” You speak with your back turned to him, opening a cupboard to grab a drinking glass. “I waved my ring finger in his face and everything! Why won’t he just admit it to me? I mean, I know I’m just your girlfriend to him, but I’ve known him since before you two even met. We did go to the same high school, after all. And sure, we didn’t become friends until after we started dating, but still! The fact I knew him in high school has to mean something.”

“Maybe he just wants it to be a surprise for everyone involved. I mean, what if she says no? That would be a hard thing to tell people who knew.” He manages what he thinks is a coherent reply despite still panicking from your sudden intrusion into his home. He closes his eyes, taking a quick breath to calm his nerves. Thankfully, you don’t know he is voicing his own concerns, but the stress that comes with sharing his feelings still lingers.

You nod your head, taking a thoughtful sip of your water. “Yeah, that could be it. But I clearly already know! It bugs me that he won’t just fess up.”

He shrugs. “We will never understand the mind of that man.”

You look at him, glass resting against your mouth. He tries to meet your eyes, knowing it will come off suspicious if he can’t. Try as he might, he finds his line of vision drifting to the wall behind you.

“Are you okay?” you finally ask, and he hears the clink of the glass as you set it on the counter. “You seem a bit jittery.”

“Yeah, I’m okay,”

“Are you sure? You know you can talk to me. Is it annoying that I keep bringing up this Johnny and ring thing?”

He shakes his head. “No, no, it’s fine. I’m just a little nervous today, I guess.”

Your eyebrows furrow and you cross your arms as you lean back against the counter. “Do you know why?”

He chuckles, stuffing his hands in his pocket. He feels the ring box, finding comfort in knowing it is still there. “Yeah, I have an idea. But can I talk to you about it?”

You nod your head, pushing yourself off the counter. “Yeah, of course.”

He motions for you to walk to the living room, following behind you slowly. He mentally throws out the plan of giving the ring to the server and having them place it on the plate for you to see. He has a new plan: propose to you in his apartment.

—

Taking a seat on the couch cross-legged, you turn your body sideways so your right shoulder rests against the back of the couch. You look up at him, patting the spot in front of you as a motion for Ten to sit—tilting your head to the side as he just stares back at you, rocking on his feet.

Ten takes a deep breath, and you watch confusedly as he lowers himself to the ground—realization and dread floods over you as he pulls out a velvet box. You shake your head, muttering a ‘no.’

“Y/n?” You can hear the hurt in his voice, but you can’t tear your eyes away from the closed box in his hand, wishing it to magically disappear.

“I- Ten, I really want to say yes, but I don’t think I should.”

He chuckles nervously, pushing himself up from the ground and setting the box on the coffee table. You follow his hand as he sets it down, eyes leaving the box only when you feel the couch dip under his weight.

“What do you mean?”

You sigh, fiddling with your hands nervously. “I mean, everything about it would fail. First, there is the fact that my parents are divorced, so the likelihood of me getting divorced jumps to like fifty percent or higher. Then there is the fact that we’re not even done with our undergrad yet. Weddings are so expensive and adding to the fact that we’re so young, that is two bad factors to start off a marriage: debt and being young. Did you know that getting married too young also increases your chances of divorce?”

“Why do you know so many facts about divorce?”

You’re thankful that despite the anxiety surrounding the situation, his usual humor is still intact. It reminds you that even when things are slightly awkward between each other, you can still be a good couple.

“I wrote a paper on divorce. But Ten, don’t those things scare you?”

“‘Y/n, we don’t need to get married tomorrow. It can happen years down the line.” He leans forward, grabbing both your hands. “All I know is I can’t imagine my life without you. And with you studying abroad next year—not that I’m worried about you leaving me—I feel like you’re going somewhere in life. I want to be there for you, and what better way than to get engaged? And if it scares you, you can call this a promise ring.”

“But that doesn’t change the fact that I’m really likely to get divorced. I love you so much, and I don’t want to get divorced from you. You matter too much to me.”

“I love you too,” he repeats, and you can feel the sincerity behind the words. “So what if the statistics say that you’re going to get divorced? I don’t want to get divorced either, but if we do, then it wasn’t meant to be. Your parents are much happier after the divorce, so you know it can be a good thing. Also, what is the other option? Not getting married? You’ll have to face these options eventually. I mean, you want to get married, right? Because if you don’t, then this is a completely different conversation.”

You shake your head, pulling away one of your hands to press it against your forehead. “No, no, I want to get married. I just, I really love the idea of not getting a divorce. I know it isn’t bad, and I know it can be good. I just want to be one of the couples who make it through to the end.”

He smiles. “Yes, and I do too. I promise that once—if—we get married, the communication will not dry up. I will work with you through every fight and every problem.”

“Yeah, but Ten, there is something else.”

He nods his head, silently letting you know to continue. You pull your other hand away and slightly move back to put some distance between you two. You notice the slight hurt that flashes across his face, and you wish you could make it better. The weight of the two words you need to say makes being so close to him too hard, and you feel guilty even touching him.

“I’m asexual.”

He gives you a few seconds to continue, but once it becomes obvious you won’t he chuckles. “Yeah, I know.”

You sigh, running a hand through your hair. “No, I don’t think you understand. I mean, you have been really nice about this for the past two and a half years, but could you really go the rest of your life without sex? I mean, maybe I’ll get to a place where I would be okay with it, but as of right now, the idea of it is just repulsive. I don’t want you to end up hating me. Because I love you so, so much, and the idea of you leaving me because I can’t give you something you want breaks my heart, Ten.”

“Sweetheart, no. I understand what this means, and I’m okay if you never get to that point. I don’t want to have sex with you if you don’t want it, even if you say you’re comfortable with it. I’m fine with how we’ve been going these past few years, and if it means I can spend the rest of my life with you, then it is worth it.”

“But for ten years? Twenty years? Ten, I know I’m repeating myself, but I can’t lose you because of this. You know this means we wouldn’t have kids, right? I mean, we could use a surrogate, but that kid would have none of my DNA. Which I am fine with, and I have never wanted kids of my own. I always imagined myself adopting. But is that okay with you?”

“Yeah, I know that. And honestly, I never cared about how I get kids—I just know I want some. Kids are a way to give my life some meaning; whether it’s through adoption or surrogacy, it doesn’t matter. Because we will raise them together, and they will be our kids.”

You tilt your head back, fanning your eyes. “Can I say something?”

“Yeah, of course, you can.”

“I hate this part of myself,” you laugh painfully and refuse to meet his eyes, afraid of seeing pity. You’ve never voiced your opinion on your asexuality before, and it hurts more than you thought it would to say out loud. “I have tried my entire life to be normal, and then I find this out about myself, and it makes me so different. And I know this isn’t fair, and I know life isn’t fair, but I like to think I have been a very nice person. Why can’t my life be normal? I feel like I am owed that, don’t you? Because let me tell you, high school was when I realized I was ace, but coming here to college is what really wrecked me. People were finally allowed to have sex and talk about sex and have it be normal. That’s when it hit me that I’m really truly different. Sometimes I can forget about it, but it only takes one conversation, or I only have to watch a movie or an episode of TV, and I’m reminded that I am asexual. I hate it, Ten, I really hate it sometimes, and I wish nothing more than to change that about me.”

“Hey, look at me.” You feel the tears well behind your eyes, and you force yourself to look up at your boyfriend. “Even if I could, I wouldn’t change anything about you. Your asexuality—” you snort, bringing your eyes back to the couch below you, hating how it sounds coming from him “—has made you who you are. If you change your asexuality, then you risk changing everything about yourself. Now, I love you for you, and if you weren’t ace, then I don’t think I would love you.”

You look up at him, his words enough to cause the tears to fall. You quickly wipe your eyes, hoping the action will stop the tears. What you told him is true—sometimes you hate this part of your identity. Before you met Ten, you thought you would never find someone who would be okay with not having sex. With your friends talking about how much they wanted to have sex or how good it felt after, you quickly began to feel alienated from them.

During your three years at university, you have only met three other people on the asexuality spectrum; only one of them is the same as you. Even though you had them, you were never able to form a close friendship with them, leaving you back at square one and feeling increasingly lonely. One day, after a meeting with the school’s LGBTQ+ club when you were feeling particularly isolated, you bumped into Ten while losing yourself in the changing leaves.

“Oh, hey, y/n,” he greets, bending down to pick up the book he dropped.

You weakly smile at him, not in the mood to converse. “Hey, Ten.”

“How do you think you did on that test?”

You sigh, adjusting the bag on your shoulder. “I think I did okay.”

He nods his head, looking down to brush off the book cover. “That’s good. Hey, do you think we could have breakfast together tomorrow before class?”

You nod your head, not thinking much of the offer. “Yeah, that sounds good. I normally sit alone since none of my friends want to wake up that early, so it would be nice to have some company.”

He chuckles. “Yeah, I don’t blame them. If I didn’t have an eight A.M. class, I wouldn’t be waking up at seven either. So I’ll see you tomorrow?”

As you groggily got ready for the day the next morning, you remembered your agreement from the night before. You don’t know why he wanted to eat with you now, halfway through the semester and having barely spoken a word to each other, but the possibility of making a new friend excited you. Becoming Ten’s friend was your goal at the beginning of the semester; the fact he actually seemed interested in the class drew you to him. As the semester dragged on, however, you realized you didn’t have the confidence to start a conversation with him—despite the fact he had started a handful with you and sat in the seat right next to you.

After that meal, every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, you had breakfast together. It became an unspoken agreement that you would both show up, and with the new guaranteed routine, you found yourself looking forward to those mornings. It was refreshing to have someone who didn’t remind you that you were different and that seemed to like you for you.

When the semester break approached, and your roommate went home, leaving you all by yourself, you and Ten naturally grew closer. A week later, he asked you on your first date.

“I really love you, but I’m also really scared. I’m scared you’ll realize that I’m broken.”

“Honey, we’re all broken.” He smiles, and you want to mirror the action, but you stop yourself before you can fully commit, not feeling like you can. “I have yet to meet an unbroken person. And honestly, I think people can be perfect because they are broken. Our broken parts—which your asexuality is not—are what make us perfect. So don’t worry, y/n. I won’t leave you because you think you are broken.”

You feel the tears stream down your cheeks once again. You want to say yes, and you want to get married, but the fear that Ten will grow to hate you has too strong a grip. The anxiety surrounding past relationships unsurprisingly followed you into your relationship with Ten. But never before had they been talked about and confronted together. Before, it was always you trying to cope with the anxiety surrounding your asexuality alone. Ten’s confirmation that your sexuality is not a flaw is everything you never knew you needed.

“Hey, you don’t have to say yes if you’re not ready. If you say yes, I want it to be because you want to and not because you feel you need to in order to keep me. If you say no, we’re still going to be a couple. But y/n, sometimes we need to take risks and trust other people. I’m asking you to trust that I will not get bored of you and that I love you enough to be okay with never having sex with you. Because I know I might not get to, and I am one hundred percent okay with that.”

You look at him, hands clasped over your mouth. If you learned anything from past relationships—most of which lasted only three months before the other person realized they wanted to be with someone “less complicated”— is that sex matters to people. At the start of your relationship with Ten, you thought it was only a fleeting thing; after all, despite Ten’s patience with you, why would he be any different? You assumed, like the other people before him, he would grow impatient with you for not physically wanting to have sex with him and end up leaving you. Then before you knew it, six months had passed, and he was still with you. He would stay up with you late into the night whenever your insecurities about your relationship would come up— whether it be your asexuality or the thought that he could find someone better. Two and a half years later and he is still here. It is the love you dreamed about having ever since you were a little girl.

You reach out slowly with one hand to hold one side of his face. “I can’t believe how beautiful you are.”

He chuckles, leaning into your hand. “It’s the face wash you bought me when you went home. I swear that stuff is a lifesaver.”

You smile, shaking your head in disagreement. “I mean you as a whole. Yes, your face is beautiful, but I mean your personality. You are the most beautiful person I have ever met, and I can’t believe you’re settling for me. I’m just so thankful I get to be in your life, Ten, I really am.”

“No, no one is settling here. I’m good for you, and you’re good for me.”

You smile, pulling your hand back into your lap. “And if you ever feel that you can’t handle my asexuality, please let me know. This is my life, but that doesn’t mean you have to put up with it.”

“Okay, but I want to repeat that because it is you, there is nothing I have to put up with. I love you, and anything that lets me stay with you is worth doing.”

You take a deep breath, shaking your hands to try and rid your body of any anxiety. “Why don’t you show me the ring, and then I’ll decide?”

He smiles widely, quickly leaning over to grab the box. Once he has it, he scoots closer so your knees touch. “Ready?”

You nod your head, looking down at the box.

He pulls open the top to reveal a simple silver band with a single round-cut diamond. Your breath hitches in your throat as you stare down at the ring. In high school, you used to look at engagement rings, imagining what it would be like for someone to pick out a ring for you and what it would feel like to be in love. Now that you’re in the moment, though, no amount of prior searching could have prepared you for the feeling of actually receiving one. For the feeling that accompanies knowing someone picked out a ring for you and the implication that they are prepared to spend the rest of their life with you.

“I told the man at the store that you’re a simple, classy girl, and he told me to go for a princess cut,” he whispers. You carefully pull the ring out of the box, turning it slowly to look at it. “But when I saw this one, I knew it would fit you way better. So, what do you say? Is the ring the tiebreaker?”

You slide the ring onto your left finger, looking up at him as more tears run down your face. You laugh happily, pulling him forward into a hug. He pulls you in tighter, burying his face into your neck.

“I love you more than I have ever loved anybody. Thank you for buying me this,” you whisper.

He laughs, pulling away. “I can’t say that’s typically the response to receiving an engagement ring, but I’ll take it.”

“I’ll assume your misty eyes are due to happiness and not because you think I’m saying no?”

He laughs, clasping one hand over his mouth. “Yes, yes, they are. So, we’re getting married?”

You bite your lip, ignoring the queasiness that arises at the words. But you push through it, Ten’s smile encouraging you. “Yes, yes, we are. Years from now, but yes.”

“Yes, years from now, we will be married.”

You gasp, muttering a sorry as he jumps at your sudden outburst. “Does this mean the ring is yours and not Johnny’s?”

“Is that a serious question?”

---

Because this is something new for me (I mean writing about asexuality) I would love to know what you guys thought about it. Happy late asexual week to any fellow aces and even to those not part of the community. If anyone wants to talk about asexuality, feel free to message me or check out this post to learn more about asexuality and what it means. I would love to talk and answer any questions you may have. I also want to say that we should not settle for anything less than a Ten (granted, all our Tens look different) and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. Because happy ace relationships are possible.

Have a great day/night!

masterlist

#NCT-WRITERS #nct ten x reader #wayv ten x reader #nct fluff #nct angst #wayv ten #nct ten #asexual reader #nct johnny #johnny seo #ten chittapon

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